#shit wtf is going on with me
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suckerforthisshit · 3 months ago
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After four years of lasser focus and obsession. I wake up and lost the feeling for Mello and Near. It happened all because I saw the other perspective, the possibility that Mello actually have a strong repulsion towards Near. After reading a part of the la BB murder cases light novel, where Mello says "I am the world's runner up, the best dresser, that died like a dog." It made me think a lot and come up with conclusion that his feelings towards near, from the hatred and admiration, obsession and all that what I already knew, is actually a deep pathological repulsion. As he saved Near's life, and literally sacrificed himself as Halle saw it, it seems that in the end, Mello did it for his deepest urges, his feelings of not being able to live with himself afterwards if Near win, instead of actually caring about Near as a person. It hit me. And it changed my mind. I saw.. no logic behind my theory that Mello is absolutely in love with Near but in denial.. because if the last thing he could say was his fascination about BB and talking about L and winning without one small hint about Near, it seems like Mello absolutely doesn't stand a chance to have any kind of attraction towards him.
The shit is- I am personally connected with these two and many songs, stories, man.. my whole life was lasser focused on them.. as a person who is seemingly phlegmatic and not giving shit about anything. Connecting with nothing, this was like the one and only emotional part of my being and very very intense. If I lose that, shit, what I'll have.
But I am in such shit right now I can't go over something that kind of doesn't make sense to me.. can't get over it so easily. If someone like... Proves me.. tells me.. if I read some old messages or my writings about them.. listen to some music.. Maybe I'll come up with it again..
But shit. Suddenly I have no motivation to do that.. like. At all. But now since that was my primary focus. Man I don't know what to do with myself
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nova-rpv · 4 months ago
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
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hahahalfwit · 8 months ago
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im studying them like little bugs
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solarpunkani · 2 years ago
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Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.
And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’
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wikiangela · 5 months ago
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It's a quiet evening, they're winding down after a long, exhausting day of work, just enjoying each other's company. They're on the couch, a cheesy romcom playing on the TV, Tommy's head in Buck's lap, Buck's fingers playing with Tommy's soft curls.
He's watching Tommy more than the movie. He observes his reactions, the soft smiles, the small chuckles, the eye rolls and scoffs - depending on what's happening on the screen. He's so beautiful and Buck wants to stare at him forever. And he gets to.
He beams, as he glances at his hand, still in Tommy's hair, where a simple silver band sits right on his ring finger, an exact match to the one on Tommy's hand, now casually resting on his stomach. Well, almost an exact match, the inscription on the inside just a little bit different - they both say their wedding date and the word 'forever' but they also have each other's names inscribed. Buck likes to take if off sometimes and just look at the words, trace his fingertip over Tommy's name, still amazed that this is his life, even after over a year of being married already.
So he observes his husband, eyes scanning all over, while Tommy's completely immersed in the movie, the romantic dork - Buck loves that he's the only one who truly gets to see this side of him. He's so cute and gorgeous, and Buck loves him so much and just can't take his eyes off him.
That's when he notices it, and a gasp breaks out of him. He can feel a huge grin pulling at his face.
"What's wrong?" Tommy immediately looks at him, a small concerned frown creasing his forehead. When he notices Buck smiling, worry turns into pure confusion. "Evan?"
"Baby." Buck says seriously, his fingers gripping a strand of Tommy's hair, as he announces happily, "You have your first gray hair." He's looking right at it, just a tiny, barely noticeable, silvery hair. It's there, and it looks beautiful, and Buck already kind of can't wait to see his husband get more of them.
"Okay?" Tommy's frown deepens, this time with amusement. "So?"
"So-" Buck starts, then shakes his head. It's stupid, it's just a hair, no big deal, everyone gets them eventually, it's nothing special. But in a way, it is. Because when they met a few years ago Tommy didn't have gray hair. Because in their line of work, and with their luck, with Buck's luck, seeing yourself or a person you love grow old is not always a given - and it's such a blessing. This, seeing a gray hair in Tommy's hair, combined with wrinkles starting to form on his beautiful face - it's an amazing sight. They're sharing a life together, growing older together, they're able to see each other go through all these changes, step by step, day by day, seemingly unnoticeable unless you pay particular attention. It makes Buck feel so grateful for this life he has, for his husband, for getting this chance. "Nothing," he says, fingers resuming combing through Tommy's thick curls, eyes still drawn to that lone gray hair. "I just love you."
"I love you, too, Evan." Tommy smiles that crinkly smile that makes the lines around his eyes even more pronounced. Buck has to lean down and kiss his lips, then the corner of his eye, making Tommy laugh. "What's that have anything to do with my gray hair?"
"I just really like the thought of getting to grow old with you. Of spending my life with you." Buck whispers, and sees Tommy's smile melt into that soft 'Evan' smile, reserved just for him.
"And you say I'm sappy," he responds teasingly, and Buck laughs. Oh, he loves Tommy so much. He looks into Tommy's eyes and sees everything he was just thinking about. He sees how Tommy wants the same things, how he appreciate those reminders, like a silly gray hair, of getting to go through life together.
He kind of can't wait to start going gray, too. To grow old with his husband.
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martyryo · 10 months ago
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they beat the shit out of each other, nothing more nothing less yk haha they're just exhausted after a fight and ready to go take a shower with their silly soap and dirty water huhu.
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snekdood · 11 months ago
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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justaz · 5 months ago
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like i’ve said time and time again, i haven’t watched bbc merlin in years but i was just wondering when the first time merlin called arthur by his name to his face and im scrolling thru the transcripts on the fandom wiki (supposedly it was s1ep4 btw) and im skimming the script for all these episodes and getting angrier and angrier. gaius was wrong for all that. morgana deserved so much better. edwin muirden was valid as hell (for targeting uther AND gaius. yeah. i said it.). also kilgharrah ate with that one lil line “then turn a blind eye. that is, after all, your talent” okay lizard brain pop offff.
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muckyschmuck · 1 month ago
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ultimately!
#ELIIIIIIII YOU CANT SAY THAT ELIIIIIIIIIIII#audiof from not even emily latest video go watch literally its so fuckingfunny#dont even ask me how eli fits in hance' 5'2 dad's clothes pls ok#my art#digital art#oc art#anthro art#not even gonna lie i thfought i wasnt gonan finish this but we pulled thru#if quality gets murdered i will cry#swhy are all my favorite drawings baby sugar and eliyah interacting#i like themb#i was gonna add fucking comical cartoon slipping noises when her antler popped off but imovie literalsly. it didnt work it wpuldnt let me#vid too biggy#also noahs ark esque announcement for ppl thta read my evil ramble tags i miiight nuke sanguinary univers bc i love my ocs too much to like#like i dont wanna marry my first idea and i love them too much to box them into a project I PERSONALLY FEEL LIKE I FUMBLED LIKE#OK LITERALLY NO INSULT WHATSOEVER TO ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT BUT IT WAS my firsy ever comic and i feeeeel like i can do betteeerrr a#meowweooww#like if it was small things i wanted to change i could juts panel edit but its like. major things like when i started chapter 1 i had#LITERALLY NO PLAN JUST MY nerdy vampire obsession. which is still present. giggle h#breaking news boygirl learns that they arent rlly proudof the writing in comic thye started when they were a teenager#ALSO I LITERALLY HAVE LORE THAT IVE. BEEN MAKING THAT CONTRADICTS THINGS (? PROBABLY) SO ok trust me ok just trust m#also yes this is what i’ve been working on except that animatsuon i mentioned with eli crying because priorities or someth#not except wtf i mean insyead or some other shit#also i just looked at this wall of text on mobile and like ew shut up little gay
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fraternum-momentum · 18 days ago
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let us see ur collar!!!! w the pearls!
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so cute right !!!!!!!??????
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l3irdl3rain · 7 months ago
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and now for the Persephone update!
We were doing her work up that needed to be done prior to her Purdue appointment. Took the radiographs and Hey! What the fuck is that!? Sent them to a radiologist who said it’s chronic pulmonary effusion.
Now you may be wondering, how long has that been there? I don’t know. What’s causing it? I don’t know. Why isn’t she showing any symptoms? I don’t know. Will it worsen? I don’t know. Will it eventually start to negatively effect her? I don’t know. Will it change the treatment of her thyroid tumors going forward? This answer may surprise you: I don’t know.
For now I’m going to proceed with taking her to her initial Purdue visit and see what they say about the thyroid tumors. I’m worried they won’t be willing to do anything without doing a work up for her pulmonary effusion. And I’d love to pretend I’m the richest person in the world but I’m just not.
As always, I will keep you guys updated. But as of right now we’re proceeding with her Purdue visit on the 30th as normal.
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vitrall · 1 month ago
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I don't think Jayce and Viktor literally died. They were kind of pulled into another dimension/astral plane/whatever you call it. We see older Viktor, and while it could be another Viktor, I think it would be more meaningful if it was our Viktor, finally free from the arcane, going through the universe with Jayce, fixing timelines together. Kind of like a cosmic mission.
#jayvik#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane#the yaoi isn't as doomed as it seems#i mean arcane s2 wasn't perfect#and jayvik left me feeling colder than expected#they played a huge role in the end and they barely had screentime this season????#i will always love jayvik tho#otp otp i adore them#jayvik screentime isn't the only issue I have with season 2 tho#the way piltover vs zaun was treated.........#“omg if we work together we can solve our differences” what differences tho there was a clear power imbalance and police brutality I'm????#plus jink's “death” was kinda forced and weak?? so last minute??? like I know she isn't actually dead but yeah#and sevika????? where's my wife?????? she did NOTHING on act 3???? did she even talk????#also mel has never been my favourite bc they mainly used her as a plot device and a romantic interest to a male character which suckss#but in s1 she started to show vulnerability in the end??? even early s2??? like girl where is all of that??#that's WAY more interesting than the “tough serious warrior” character she's become#anyway everything happened too quickly#too much time spent on noxus shit#ooooh i wonder what the next show is going to be about hmmmm#and so many things weren't explained#everything surrounding viktor and the arcane and what happened to jayce and viktor was kinda foggy#also wtf is sky doing there???? it should have been little viktor or something idk#plus where are caitlyn's dictator arc and vi's boxer arc?? they barely lasted???#and maddie should have been more prominent if she was working with ambessa? we barely saw her (or ambessa) manipulate caitlyn#also ambessa's plan wasn't 100% clear either so I'm guessing that plot line (and singed's???) will appear again sometime
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whaliiwatching · 9 months ago
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pining queer people stylin
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apnourry · 1 month ago
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midweek crisis😍🥰😍
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dukeofthomas · 6 months ago
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why does every reconciliation fic go like this
#my dc posting#jason todd#red hood#jason todd fanart#ugh i forgot to change tim n dick's skin colours aa i already put my drawing stuff away whatever#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#<- main offenders#no but. jason will be making some absolutely great points#ill be cheering him on like YEAH know ur fucking value good job call them the fuck out dont fall for their shit!!#then there will be one (1) event n suddenly the author pulls a complete 180#all of jason's valid issues n complaints r swept away without ever being solved#at most he's given a few flimsy excuses or justifications#n suddenly hes all happy n dandy w them#like 🤨🤨🤨 what!!!#like nothing changes nobody makes any effort but apparently one sentence going 'omg no it wasnt like that jason 😭' is enough to sweep#everything under the rug#like why have i never read a fic where anyone actually works to change. to right the wrongs theyve done. to apolgoize and do better.#aside form of course jason going 'i see now that murder is wrong i was stupid n angry for no good reason good thing the pit madness has bee#solved/managed better n i have apologized to Poor Little 10yo Baby Tim whom i hurt and traumatized So Badly how will he ever forgive me...'#'fuck my family wtf is wrong w these assholes' 'i killed the joker for like 3 minutes' 'i love you i have no further issues aside from#Teenage Angst which will be cured via being told my anger is disproportional and of course one (1) hug form my Dearest Father'#when will i read someone 'pullin the alfred card' and jason respondin w 'fuck alfred'. he deserves to be an asshole w the way hes treated..#ok ill stop now im just. very done w this stuff
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polymona · 8 months ago
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If you haven't watched yet, here is a gif to entice you:
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