#shit I'm married

[eternal-dragon-of-time]

Currently obsessed with the enemies to lovers idea of Hero and Drakath getting married but its framed as Drakath trying to manipulate Hero into being an ally to chaos and Hero is doing it because they are SURE that its a scheme and hell. Have they ever passed on a long and dubious questline? So you get situations like.

Hero: Drakath I'm killing an eldritch horror this had better be important.

Drakath (through a spy eye): I'm trying to get some documents in order and I need to know, do you want to be wife, husband or spouse officially?

Hero: Don't be stupid. Drakath if my formal title isn't "Arch Nemesis" I am NOT showing up to the Cathedral.

[starcurtain]

Please someone redraw this with Dr. Ratio and Aventurine because this is the exact vibe they have in my head post-Penacony.

[hoofpeet]

When the aroace 💯

[spacedace]

“Hey, I need to get married for bullshit Infinite Realms reasons, you two in?”

“Tt, of course.”

“Sure thing! Do we need to get going for that like, right now? Or later?”

“Eh, like in a couple of hours? The Observants are demanding some Royal Ball or something and they pulled out some stupid old laws out of their collective asses that if I’m not married by the time it starts they can assign me spouses of their choosing, can you fucking believe that shit?”

“Woah, what the hell? Can they even do that?”

“I was under the impression they were only permitted to observe.”

“Right? It’s total crap, but apparently there’s like this super old law on the books and they didn’t bring it up until now when there’s like no time left to try and force me to marry someone they pick.”

“They are training to gain influence over you?”

“Eh, more like they’re trying to get control of my Dad by way of me. But still fucked as hell.”

“So why do you need to marry both of us? Or do you just need to marry one of us and we should play rock paper scissor for it?”

“Technically I only need to marry one of you, but I don’t want them pulling out any loopholes or something. So, it’d be great if one of you could be my consort for my role as Queen of Mirrors, and one could be my consort for my role as Crown Princess. You two can figure who’s who on that all that, I’m good with whatever.”

“Oooh, can I be consort for the Mirror Court? I can annoy Kon more that way.”

“I am amenable to that. Grandfather will have a fit when he learns that I can cut his access to the Pits off at my discretion and there’s nothing he can do about it.”

“Awesome, okay are you two good for meeting up at like, three? We can pop over to my Lair and get everything sorted out there.”

“Works for me, my only class til this afternoon is at one and the professor already said we’re cutting out early because she has to go out of town this weekend.”

“Four would be more agreeable if possible, I have to take Titus to the vet for his checkup.”

“Okay let’s aim for four then. It’s just signing some paperwork, making some quick blood-slash-ectoplasm pacts and swearing a couple binding oaths… Should only take like five or ten minutes?”

“They’re not gonna make you have a huge royal wedding or anything?”

“Nah. Dad keeps things pretty chill so as long as the paperwork is all in order we’ll be good. Though once Auntie Dorathea finds out she’s absolutely gonna make us have one. She loves planning weddings. Swear its what she makes her hoard out of somehow.”

“So long as we have a say in some of the proceedings I have no issue with that eventuality.”

“Same, it sounds like it’d be a fun way to annoy the Observants even more.”

“Don’t for get all the weirdos trying to be my suitors and all that bullshit.”

“We have an accord then. We can reconvene at the usual place.”

“Awesome, you two are the best! I gotta jet and let everyone know and get the ball rolling on the paperwork stuff. See you guys at four!”

With that, Nomad - Stella Phantom, Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms, Queen of Mirrors, Core of the Speedforce and ghostly hero of the Titans and the Justice League - tore a rip in the fabric of space and time and darted out of the room the same way she came. Through the mind-bending tear in reality the eerie, eye-searing green of the Infinite Realms glowed in all its unsettling glory, Phantom Keep a glittering expanse of night sky made solid in the distance.

Jon waved at her cheerfully as Damian gave a nod of farewell before both silently turned their attention back to their respective tablets as the portal closed behind their friend and teammate and the glimpse of the Ghost Zone disappeared again. Completely unbothered by the conversation just held or the life changing implications that came with them.

Jon was humming as he tapped away at something on the screen before him, Damian propping his head up on his fist in vague boredom as he frowned down at the information he was reading.

The rest of the room Nomad had left behind was caught in a frozen, stunned silence in the wake of the baffling conversation they’d all just been witness to. All eyes in the room darted between Flamebird and Pheonix seated calmly at the end of the table, then to the space where Nomad had disappeared to, back to the young men, and then towards the head of the table where Superman and Batman sat looking bewildered and a bit on the verge of heart attacks.

The short status update meeting was about to become much, much longer it seemed.

Though a lot more entertaining.

[vocallywritten]

Okay I'm sorry but the Polin wedding was perfect not in spite of the drama still going on, but BECAUSE OF IT.

Like they set aside their differences for the day because actually nothing mattered more to them than getting married to each other. I'm so emotional about it.

Even with the Lady Whistledown drama and the hurt and the anger, none of it mattered when it came time for them to get married and I think that really speaks to the strength of their relationship and their love.

[buglaur]

my farmers profile 🥳

[veerbles]

I know it's certainly been said before, but I just know in my heart of hearts that ronan (impulsive, romantic, religious, all or nothing) woke up with a ring in his palms the morning after he and adam kissed for the first time. and then he probably didn't dream for a while, after his mom and gansey and cabeswater and noah - but once he started again and also started sharing a bed with adam I just know that he dreamt rings again, and I just know at some point adam caught onto it, and I just know adam (practical, logical, love-skeptic, took a year to consider his feelings before making a move) freaked the fuck out. and I think that's hilarious.

[skylie-spiderlillis]

MY CAMEOS HAS ARRIVED PEOPLE.

I have sent a few, this man is INSANE I have sent the last one only about an hour and a half ago max and I already got that somehow??? After I just got the others???

Anyway this is the first one!

I'm actually writing a fic about Edwin and Charles fencing for fun at the office I loved to hear about the helmets so much!!!

I'm going to use some of the words he said in my fic, other are welcome too! Edwin is such a posh/ affectionate fencing fits him so well.

I want Desire and Edwin to meet so badly (Desire would so LOVE to torture them (I love my little blorbo so much he's adorable that's why I want him to suffer💗)). I like the fics where Desire helps the boys to figure things out but also speaking about canon Desire, they are a menace, a meeting with them would be so angsty. They are gods they don't really care for mortals, they would love to cause drama and angst. They would love to torture this repressed (although he is a bit more comfortable now he's still more of a stiff person in general) sad boy that has so much yearning and so much drama potential between him and his best friend.

Yucky already said he wants to bring them in season 2 I'm sooo waiting for this drama I just know it's going to be good.

Anyway, posting my other cameo requests soon!

[calamitoustide]

okay so Harry is Lily’s kid and James is his uncle and one day Lily’s in a bind and needs him to pick Harry up from daycare so of course he does it and he goes in and finds this… really hot dad. And his daughter is talking to Harry so James takes the chance to go talk to him. He learns his name is Regulus and is so obsessed with it as James always is and Reg points at Harry and asks if he’s his son. James being the idiot that he is says yes (he’s struggling). Also they look pretty much identical cause he was the sperm donor so it makes sense that Reg asks. James has been asked it before... but Reg is hot and he short circuited. They leave and agree that they should rearrange a play date… you know for the kids.

James has to keep asking Lily to borrow Harry to take him to these places and it’s this huge mess.

And Reg has to keep coming up with reasons to Pandora and Xeno why he always wants to take their daughter out places.

chaos ensues.

[littlelightfish]

This half-foot. Dandan.

Looks preety similar to this lady here (I'll put them together so you see):

Half-lidded eyes, black hair&eyes, small eyebrows, curly hair... Dandan's skin is lighter probably because of low sun exposure (dungeon), and he has tons of freckles because he preety.

This two are clearly relatives if not siblings.

Flertom is a mirror image of the lady up there. She got Chil's eyes. She even has almost the same haircut (a bit longer). She's clearly the mother. We've solved Chilchuck's wife mystery.

But this wasn't what I was going to say.

This implies that Wife and Dandan both knew Chilchuck since their childhood. Because there's no way that Chil was just friend of the sister. They're both close to the same age, and I'll say Dandan is a Younger sibiling (she gives big sis vibes, and he gives young bro vibes). So either she introduced him to her brother or he introduced him to his sister and they became best friends as kids.

Could you imagine how their relationship was after Chil's Wife left him?

He knows he has to say something, but he doesn't want to end his relationships. At the end he takes his sister's side. He distances a bit from Chilchuck, calling him an "aquitance" rather than a friend. It isn't that he hates him, is just that it's complicated. And they both know it. They're in good terms tho, they just aren't best friends anymore and they don't talk about it. Their worry is the guild, not their personal stuff.

That's why Dandan introduces Chilchuck to Laios. If they were in bad terms, he would've suggested any other half-foot. They both priorize the guild and general safety of their own race. That's why Dandan suggests Chil instead of a less experienced hafling. He cares about the union and respects Chil's time and experience in dungeons. They're on good terms, at least good enough. Summing up, I get the feeling Dandan doesn't particularly likes Chil after what happened with his sister, but he respects him at least.

[curtain-caller]

So I'm looking forward to seeing all the interpretations and headcanons people make for The Lucky Contestant (who I will also join in calling them "Lucky"), but I'm curious... Okay, raise of hands, who else here also pictures Lucky as a crafty, greedy, overconfident, sassy, morally bankrupt little shit (affectionate)? Or is that just me? Idk I just get those vibes from their choices in the game (elaboration below)

Like... the implications that they were combing through hundreds of boxes to get a tape to join the show??? That they were counting the boxes and keeping track??? The fact that the only way to escape at the start is to run PAST the giant fucking beast mauling another contestant instead of running AWAY from it??? Not to mention them leaving the other remaining contestants behind in doing so.

The fact they didn't hesitate when Deputy Duck pecked at them, fucking grabbing him by the neck and throwing him against the wall??? That screamed "I'm not fucking around, are you going to cooperate or not?" kind of energy. The way they barely move when they come across the Real Frankie in front of the monitors??? Like, I know you can't move during that segment probably so you don't just miss the cutscene, but in-universe, Lucky has ample opportunity to turn and fucking run, and we know damn well their fear response isn't freeze, it's flight.

Just. The entire noob noob section. I feel like they flinched one time during that and that was when they caught the first one, but only because the explosion caught them off guard. That slowed them down for 1 second, maximum. Hell, I've seen a few players laugh at that part, I feel like Lucky would too. The fact that there's no objectives to even try to escape Frankie's great value Parkour Civilization??? Like, in a game like this, I'd expect at one point for there to be an attempt to just escape the game entirely once shit hit the fan, only for the protagonist to realize the only way out is to begrudgingly play along and win. But nope. Lucky came here for the money, and they're getting that money. AND THE FACT THEY DO??? AND THEY'RE THE FIRST EVER ONE TO DO SO??? The way they just strut back into Frankie's office after their 57th near-death experience and look him right in the eye??? The whole ending segment where they go for another season??? It's not framed at all like they were forced to go again, because the Real Frankie just offered his hand out, and when we cut back, Lucky is casually looking at the ratings screen while standing on top of a pile of corpses. There are open gaps on the floor they can be standing on instead! But nope, just chilling on top of some dead bodies. Obviously we can't tell what their facial expressions are with the mask on, but they don't seem afraid or even all that tense about their situation either. To me, Lucky is the type of guy to go "I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks". Lucky is the type of guy to go "No, I'm taking the 5 million" only to sprint through that fucking door when Frankie whispers "Double or nothing". Lucky is the type of guy to walk past an old dead competitor and mutter "skill issue" under their breath. Lucky is the kind of guy to roll around in the glass money ball for enrichment like a hamster in a hamster ball. Lucky's the type of guy to keep going for season after season, for more and more money, until eventually they're not even doing it for the money anymore, relishing in the adrenaline rush and the glory instead. I just really love the idea that the reason why Lucky made it to the end so successfully was not only because of their skills and quick thinking, but because they also match Frankie's freak. Frankie was right: They need each other. They compliment each other. They enable each other in the worst ways possible. One wants to put the other through gradually more elaborate and deadly situations to increase ratings, and the other runs headfirst into those situations with the same energy as someone going cliff diving. It's like enrichment for them.

[someoneintheshadow456]

Idk what tag to use to describe the phenomenon of "Tiktok/Instagram Reels being full of toxic femininity/Gender Roles 2 but I just want to make a thread of examples of batshit takes I have seen from Instagram Reels (I don't have examples for all of them):

"I hate playing with my kids because I think they're 'emotionally abusive'/'gaslighting' when they change the rules every 30 seconds and rough house with me. Also, only fathers can enjoy playing with kids because they don't parent like mothers do (being a mom is soooooo harddddd). I refuse to teach my kids how to play nice and go shocked Pikachu when they don't."

"If you're over 25 you will never find a partner ever and should just get an arranged marriage" (said by someone IN THEIR LATE 20S)

"Sleep studies are all based on mens' needs women actually need 10 hours of sleep because uterus"

Just a whole lot of "Girls are mature well-behaved angels until they hit their double digits, then they become satanic demons from hell. Meanwhile boys are satanic demons from hell BEFORE puberty instead."

"Children produce more oxytocin around their dads because dads are the fun parents and they will never appreciate the hard work their mothers do"

"Bullying is good actually because something something evolutionary psychology. I am very smart, I was a gifted kid in high school"

"Men are useless overgrown children who can't keep house or be trusted around babies. But if a man can keep house and/or is good with children, he's either 'not a real man', a pedo, or gay."

"Some women??? Beat their kids??? To cope??? Kids should understand when mommy brings out the chapathi roller it's because they're just ungrateful brats! Being a mother is sooooo harddddd"

[levemetal]

Local minor heavenly official ignoring instructions to not approach calamity ghost.

Day 5: Caught / Found

Ascended Yue Qingyuan and Calamity SJ! Consider this a continuation of Day 2 :) There's their happy ending, they finally meet again. Fits for both prompts tho I drew this with Found in mind.

memey extra under cut

[spacedace]

I've been working on a dp x dc fic that has rather quickly become the home of the "Jazz is Gotham's Favorite Psychiatrist" au I posted about a few days ago and I've just really fell in love with the idea of Queer Platonic Murder Gremlins Damian & Dani/Elle being absolute terrors to their family and deciding to get married when they turn 18 for the sake of avoiding various people trying to date/marry them to get to their family's respective shit (the Wayne's money & social standing in Gotham as billionaire socialites, the Nightingale's massive power and influence over the Infinite Realms as the royal family).

Damien casually mentions he and his demon beastie Elle got married the day before without even glancing up from his food and completely derailing what was actually turning out to be a pretty calm family dinner for once. His siblings are losing their shit because what the fuck Damian, Bruce is having a crisis - he didn’t even know they were dating??? And he just found out Elle's sister/guardian is the mysterious doctor that he thinks is making some of his rogues disappear??? Damian didn’t even invite them to the wedding has he completely failed as a father?? - meanwhile Alfred is just there knowing full well that the two kids are little Aro/Ace menaces - he bought them each their first Ace ring for Pride this year he knows what's up - and deciding "actually I have something to do in the kitchen" and letting the chaos reign.

The Nightingales are fully aware of what's up (Danny was the one who had to do the presiding over everything in the Ghost Zone side of things and Jazz is a notary on top of everything else and signed off on all the paperwork on the human side) and are just enjoying all the various entities that were pushing for an arranged marriage between themselves and Elle for power or whatever bullshit having hissy fits over losing to some human kid. They're especially having fun not telling Constantine the specifics of the whole thing and letting him sweat it out over the fact that the Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms apparently just married the "Demon Heir" whoever in - literal - hell that is and she now is in possession of all his soul contracts.

[juniper-clan]

Would shine be an avid oncelercest/sanscest shipper or would she ship them with herself

At her current age? She would have thinly veiled self insert characters. 100% original do NOT steal.

[alwaysanxiousrobot]

OWEN WILSON in Marry Me (2022)