#shinonome struggles

[chiricat]

another ramble about art again so i’m hiding it all under a ‘keep reading’ thingy so as to not clog ur feeds :]

aka thoughts about imposter syndrome, fanart, and what it means to draw stuff loosely disguised as a ‘ramble’. maybe a bit of akito almost-kinnie-isms (and probably ena) in there too because why not. also sorry this gets a lot less coherent as it goes on (i lost my train of thought near the end. it’ll come back someday)

i want to keep getting better. i want to keep growing and improving, so that i can convey the ideas in my head to others. i’m afraid to stagnate for too long, because what if it means i’ve hit my limit? what if i’ll never get better than i am right now? an irrational thought, really, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. hell, i felt like i hadn’t improved all that much from a year ago, when i tried to redraw a few of my older posts.

part of this stems from the question ‘how do people see my art? what kind of artist am i to them?’ which comes from when i got into fanart and fandom spaces, a long time ago. i would categorize the people i looked up to, my idols, my role models. there was the one that made comics that felt like home with your friends, and there was the one that made pieces that felt like i was sitting in a café in the middle of a busy city, and there was the one that made renders that felt like i was looking at liquid gold. i was fascinated by the effects of all these different artstyles, and decided that i wanted to do the same. i wanted to make art that made people feel at home, like a fic that you keep coming back to, or art that conveyed how i felt well enough that others felt the same way, or could understand it at the very least. 

naturally, as i continued to draw and admire these artists from afar, i wondered why exactly their art appealed to me. at first, the answer was simple: i like looking at it. but that wasn’t good enough - what about the things i didn’t really care to look at, then? what made this piece any different?

so i tried to understand, why i liked something, or why others liked something. after studying art for a little (yay classes) i understood more, i understood why those artists made the choices they did. for one, it was their powerful composition, and how they wanted to pull the viewer in with the characters. for another, it was their color palettes, which were always balanced yet strong and guaranteed to catch your eye because of it. other times, it would be the lighting, angled to present the characters in such a way that it made you feel like you were there too, or linework that made you feel just how much the artist cherished the characters. there were other, less technical things too, but i was trying to build a foundation before diving into things that were harder to learn.

in short, there was so, so much more to everything than i had realized as a kid.

so i asked myself the same question. why do people like my art? why is my art appealing and worthy of your time? and where did i fit in, if i were to categorize myself? 

these questions got a little worse. incredibly irrational. imposter syndrome was kicking in when i saw that more people were liking my art, especially when i compared it to myself from a year ago. or when my favorite artists were following me back. (it was weird, somewhat. i had always seen them as worlds away from my own space, artists that i had admired from afar and thus never believed that they would turn around and see me.)

‘do people actually like my art? is my art actually worth anyone’s time?’ i wonder. ‘do i deserve these nice comments, or even these likes?’ 

‘am i even getting better at all?’

these are a bit foolish of me to think. it shouldn’t matter, really. as long as i’m enjoying drawing and having a fun time, then why should it matter whether others like it or not? i don’t have to be doing my best, giving it 110% all the time, i’m allowed to make goofy art or self-indulgent art. this is my motto, for the most part. as long as you’re enjoying the craft, then it’s worth it.

but with the goal of improvement, i don’t always want to stay in my comfort zone. i want to keep pushing my limits, even if its just a little at a time, so i can make something impressive, something that really resonates as much as i want it to, as much as certain pieces resonated with me when i was younger. the same way that i kept coming back to certain pieces (and still do), i want to be able to do that too. i don’t want to feel like a kid playing at an adult’s game, like someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing and it shows.

it’s a tricky balance. i’m not sure if i’ll ever truly feel like i’ve ‘finally done it’. i think that most artists are never truly content with their work as a whole, anyways, and that’s okay. that’s something i should be more okay with. i can make art just for fun, and i can also make art with the intent of solely improving or practicing. i can even combine the two, and most of the time, i try to anyways.

(sorry, i lost my train of thought after writing the last few paragraphs... i dunno where i wanted to go with this exactly HHH.

tldr; i’m always stuck between ‘i’m happy making this art even if its bad’ and ‘i need to get better and leave people in awe to feel like i deserve the love and nice comments i receive’.

if you somehow managed to get to the end of this, ty for reading, even if it was a hot dumpster fire LMAO)

[kerizaret]

Sketches based on my FAVOURITE project sekai concept EVER by @the-one-that-weeps that when the characters enter their SEKAIs, their bodies adapt to the worlds as well! I also took some inspiration from the notes and my own concepts :DD

Thought it'd fit the Halloween spirit a lot!

[heartorbit]

i lied. ena

[akito-shinonome-daily]

🎤 day 233 🎵

➥ today’s akito is from the illustration by oyo for the egoist 2DMV!!

[theunluckyvandalist]

ena has bpd im RIGHT

[mizuena-dreams]

perhaps a silly take but I do think ena shinonome is actually one of the best written teenaged characters in any media ever

[pjsk-headcanons]

One one hand I'm an aroace ena who pushes people away if she can tell they have a crush on her truther, on the other hand I'm a fan of a couple of ships with her and one of them only works for me in a romantic context because enakasa is at it's funniest when it's a romantic pairing - the rats

.

[novanonn]

People should genuinely stop trying to rush Mizuki's secret, everyone has their own story, even Ena and hers isn't focused on Mizuki for now.

This is what makes Project Sekai's story somewhat realistic, secrets, conflict, talking and telling take time which is why I wholeheartedly feel like Mizuki's secret shouldn't be told yet

[limesgarden]

that’s a request lol

VAs:

Yoisaki Kanade:Kusunoki Tomori

Shinonome Ena:Suzuki Minori

lyrics:

Lines intersect I dress up with all the things I love That’s right, as always This is an identity I'll never yield

Circles overlap And deepen, perhaps more face to face Hey, since when Have I been unable to overcome this minority?

I can’t proceed, but even faced with this dead end, If I want to connect with you, then I can’t part with my secret

If we had made this world that composes our existence  Of being charmed by each other resonate, Hey, could we stay this way, just like this?

Obstructed by faint expectations,  I plug my ears and make a vague face of feigned indifference If we could've stayed connected, just like this...

Would it have hurt, or would I have wanted to stay?

Even if I fumble around for them and reel them close, Once again, the threads of my feelings tangle up You know, having given up, I've always kept this distance

Even though this is a starting point with no end, I want to connect with you, so I won’t part with my secret

If we had made this world that pictures our existence  Of fatefully meeting each other resonate, Hey, could we stay this way, just like this?

At a loss, we play hide-and-seek,  A melancholy of losing our way and intermingling If we could've stayed connected, just like this…

I stitch it, I knit it, And patch it back together. What can I do...? I can cut myself off, smile, put distance between us, And I'll still be able to smile. I'll be able to smile, but...

The boundaries have begun to blur, the future uncertain If I had conveyed that, then we wouldn't, we wouldn't have been able to—

If we had made this world that reflects our existence  Of feeling for each other resonate, Hey, could we stay this way, just like this?

Obstructed by faint expectations,  I plug my ears and make a vague face of feigned indifference If we could stay connected, just like this...

Would it hurt, or would I want to stay?

[huntersapprentice]

most normal group chat

plus kanade-less background because I'm kinda proud of it

[asliverofmind]

Made some Akito transparents for a friend. Feel free to use them if you want!

[starshine-valley]

UNIT SWAP! But I won’t tell you what they have in common :>>

Group 1:

Emu Otori, Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Minori Hanasato

Group 2:

Haruka Kiritani, Toya Aoyagi, Mafuyu Asahina, Shizuku Hinomori

Group 3:

An Shiraishi, Akito Shinonome, Ena Shinonome, Airi Momoi

Group 4:

Rui Kamishiro, Shiho Hinomori, Mizuki Akiyama, Honami Mochizuki

Group 5:

Ichika Hoshino, Kohane Azusawa, Nene Kusanagi, Kanade Yoisaki

[twowink]

niigo + enstars

kanade and leo!

we've gotten over wxs being a bit obvious/surface-level now its time for Themes and Motifs. anyways:

haunted composer

shut-ins at some point in their lives (kanade still kinda is one)

mafuyu and mika!

empty doll motif

care about their friends (mafuyu just cant communicate it well)

close to an artist that berates them but cares for them as well

ena and izumi!

self-centered but care about their unitmates and friends a lot more than theyd like to admit

"if i had a nickel for every perfectionist character in a unit with a transfem and a haunted composer and a personality disorder AND a focused song with a two word title with a word starting with i followed by a color. well"

mizu and madara!

friendly loners who dont consider the people around them friends because they are Very Bad at emotional vulnerability

very irregular characters

they frequently skipped school in the past and he didn't attend normally for a while and was considered a delinquent/prankster

their issues cant get them if they run fast enough lol

[prizmaticjewel]

getting the most AMAZING SPECTACULAR JAWDROPPINGLY BEAUTIFUL idea of a drawing and the second i try putting it on paper my mind goes blank and i cry and i crumple it up and throw it away

[kosukeiichi]

started editing , had a break down , bon appetit .

[the-one-that-weeps]

Can we please talk about how awfully rich the project sekai cast is.

- More more jump is composed of three reformed idols. If that's not enough, they also do shows fairly often and I bet those tickets sell well.

- Shizuku is also a model.

- And if that's not enough, Papa Hinomori is a well known artist.

- the Tenmas are pretty rich (just take a look at their house).

- Also Ichika afforded to buy a Miku software so she's not poor either.

- Shinodad is also a well known artist, the Shinonomes live fairly comfortably if I remember correctly.

- Toya is like the second richest character in the game.

- Ken doesn't act rich but that doesn't mean he's not a well known artist and if you've read any of the vbs area convos you know the RADder copies still sell after all these years

- Emu is the richest character in the game. I don't think I even have to specify why. The Otoris literally own an airline.

- Wxs also do shows all the time. Ticket money part 2

- Kanadad probably struggled financially after his failure as an artist, but Kanade doesn't only make enough profit to survive but also pays Honami every week or so. Also, she has really neat equipment in her room, so Kanadad used to have a fair amount of cash.

- Everyone who goes at Miya girl is automatically rich. It's a PREP SCHOOL

- Also Mafumom pays Mafuyu for grad school and I don't think that's a cheap miracle.

- Not only that but Niigo are probably the most popular group out of the cast, their channel has a lot of followers and their videos get thousands of views. This actually makes me question if they like. Split the money somehow. Or do they just give it to Kanade because no way she's living off of her grandma's pension.

- imagine Niigo getting the youtube golden play button because I need this to actually happen now