#shewhich shitposting

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

Oh no, I’m back on my Magnus Archives bullshit. So I’m really sorry to whoever follows this blog for the rare meta-drops and writing analysis, because all I’m gonna be reblogging for the next couple weeks is TMA.

But also, the episodes from 2019 talking about the extinction as a new fear trying to be born through a pandemic, and then the end of that season happens and it’s the world ends, and Alex comes on to say “The Magnus Archives season five will return in April 2020” and how did the TMA fandom not genuinely lose their whole minds? How did y’all not scream into the sky? 

The reason I have to come to Tumblr to yell about The Magnus Archives is that currently no one I’m working with has listened to it. For instance:

In the play “Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe” these two prostitutes get into a car with a guy who doesn’t want to have sex with them, but just wants their life stories. He records it, on a tape recorder. And then they monologue very eloquently for like 10 minutes.

So naturally, I was like “you can’t fool me, Jonathan Sims” But no one was around to understand what a good joke that was, my life is so hard. 

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

Goddamn it I made it 100 episodes into The Magnus Archives before realizing that Michael the Lightning person and Michael the Spiral person are in fact different entities. Shit.

Also, yeah, the Magnus Archives is eating my whole brain currently. I’ve never listened to it before .

Why am I so horny for the Archivist? That Voice just does things to me, especially when he’s being a full-blown cunt.

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

My current theater is next to a Panera.

And today we found it on the ceiling.

The Bread Valve.

We control the bread now.

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

In a meeting today someone said “ it makes me very sad for _____ as the archivist, he has to deal with all that disorganization”

And I’m so brainrotted from The Magnus Archives that I almost swallowed my tongue. Sir, you can’t just casually drop in a conversation that our organization has a staff Archivist.

I swear to God, I couldn’t even say the word for fear that it would come out of my mouth in a British accent.

Does our Archivist have evil, sexy, compulsion powers?

Is he beset by horrors?

[not-she-which-burns-in-it]

Oh whoops I’m not done talking about this.

So I just finished season four. I have not yet listen to season five, I do not know how The Magnus Archives ends. The MAG 160 twist completely caught me fucking fucking offguard. For anyone who’s read my meta-analysis that I write sometimes, you know I’m pretty media savvy. I have an English degree, I work in the theater, I was a professional fiction podcast producer, I do storytelling for a living basically. And I did not fucking see this coming.

The MAG 159 twist was exactly what I thought. The way Martin played out, the way John’s Ark played out, the way daisies are played out, even Melanie. This was super well written, and all of those season four conclusions made perfect sense for what Johnny has built.

And then MAG 160 slapped me across the face so hard I had to pause the episode and yell “WHAT WHAT HOLD ON WHAT? HOLD THE FUCK ON” for a while in the car.

I hadn’t spent a lot of time doing red string theory, but I was halfway convinced that Elias was prepping Jon to be the next vessel. Because Elias being possessed by Jonah Magnus, was something that I guessed early on in the season. I reasoned that Gertrude being incompatible as a vessel was why she was killed, and that with Jon as the new vessel, Elias could ??? I don’t know, I hadn’t quite thought through what Elias’s endgame might be in that scenario.

I had considered the rituals not working, something along the lines of “there’s no way Gertrude could’ve caught them all” and “wait what do you mean? They were just invented by Robert Smirke?” And then of course, it’s hinted at outright just a couple episodes before. I thought maybe the web, or the eye, or the end, was already preventing any other rituals from happening - like maybe the big reveal was that one of the entities had already manifested, and we as a society just didn’t notice because it’s a horrible dystopian hell world already.

I really didn’t see the apocalypse coming.

Oh no, I’m back on my Magnus Archives bullshit. So I’m really sorry to whoever follows this blog for the rare meta-drops and writing analysis, because all I’m gonna be reblogging for the next couple weeks is TMA.

But also, the episodes from 2019 talking about the extinction as a new fear trying to be born through a pandemic, and then the end of that season happens and it’s the world ends, and Alex comes on to say “The Magnus Archives season five will return in April 2020” and how did the TMA fandom not genuinely lose their whole minds? How did y’all not scream into the sky? 

The reason I have to come to Tumblr to yell about The Magnus Archives is that currently no one I’m working with has listened to it. For instance:

In the play “Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe” these two prostitutes get into a car with a guy who doesn’t want to have sex with them, but just wants their life stories. He records it, on a tape recorder. And then they monologue very eloquently for like 10 minutes.

So naturally, I was like “you can’t fool me, Jonathan Sims” But no one was around to understand what a good joke that was, my life is so hard.