#shes seen and knows it all... whether from tapes or its her she knows about the multiverse
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ashes-in-a-jar · 11 months ago
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My feeling right now about the cast
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stxrr-strxckk · 6 months ago
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Something I noticed about I Saw the TV Glow that I haven't seen anybody mention yet
I saw this movie in theaters back in early may when it was released (Twice!), and it's been lingering in my head ever since then. Something I noticed on my second watch through: When Owen (and the audience) first see the Pink Opaque, we see Tara and Isabel in this sort of 90s nostalgia light, and I always thought they looked quite similar to Maddy and Owen. For example: Here is Owen and Isabel next to each other for reference.
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While it's not entirely the same (Owen has softer features and is warmer toned, Isabel is more sharp and cool toned), they do look like they'd at least be related, cousins at least?
Same with Maddy and Tara, though not as much. (They looked more similar after Maddy's haircut, but I'm too lazy to change the photo)
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But then, at the end when Owen is rewatching Pink Opaque? It's completely different. That nostalgic effect is gone and all of a sudden Tara is nowhere to be seen (Since Maddy left the world they were trapped in), and Isabel is completely different. Instead of being the confident, strong, WOC we see her as originally, she's just the same boring white protagonist of every little girl's show we grew up on.
And of course Owen is panicking, realizing that he lost his chance: He buried Isabel; she's dead underground, without her heart and instead of being who he truly is where he truly belongs, he's just... Owen. Stuck in suburbia, living the hell of being a queer kid growing up in the suburbs. Except now, he's an adult living a lie, knowing what he could have had is gone and he's stuck.
And another thing: I think the choice of the fun zone being where Owen works is deliberate. Sure, they could have kept him at the theater, but the theater shutting down is not only accurate (sad but true- please support your local movie theaters!) but shows how everyone is moving on from that experience of going to see a movie (and also from the joy of childhood and into adulthood while Owen is still stuck that awkward teenager!) in person- choosing streaming instead.
And we also notice this change in the Pink Opaque when Owen is watching it streaming. This is a reflection of how media felt more special growing up when it was in a physical form. Cds, vinyl, Dvds, casettes, film reels, even game cartridges, we've always had some physical object that bonds us to the worlds of creativity in which artists express themselves. And whether you've noticed or not, it's a special sort of feeling that just... Dies with streaming. Its like you own a piece of the media. Like saying: "This is mine, it's my personal piece of media that belongs to me and only me." and that's always made it feel special. Sure, there may be multiple copies, but this one belongs just to you. Not to mention the ritual of actually putting in cds, dvds, casettes into a player, or playing vinyl on a record player. There's this action you have to take to consume this media that's familiar and sort of gets you to anticipate what you're about to watch (much like Owen and Maddy's ritual of Maddy taping the show then leaving them around school for Owen to find) whereas now, you're just on a streaming service that lots of people own, and you're just mindlessly scrolling through hundreds of options.
Another thing: What do we see when Owen cuts his chest open in the final few minutes? TV static. Like when a tape finishes and you don't take it out of the player. His tape is over, Isabel is dead, and all that's left is the static of his fake life as he slowly rots in this husk. Now with streaming, you don't get that static. His connection with the Pink Opaque stems from his friendship with Maddy, the nostalgia of his favorite childhood show, and of course: his own queerness.
It's no secret this movie is about growing up queer and feeling like something is wrong. Like some part of you missing, the part that makes you normal. I've seen many reviews on IMDB that clearly missed the point, so I really want to spell it out here: THIS IS A MOVIE ABOUT QUEER PEOPLE FOR QUEER PEOPLE. And I've never seen a movie so perfectly encapsulate that feeling more than this one.
From my experience as a queer POC growing up with little to no representation I know this feeling all too well of seeing someone and realizing: "Wow, that's me." And projecting who I wanted to be onto that person. Even though they're not queer, they're not a poc, they're just a character. We try so hard to make them into who we want to be that the image of this character becomes so distorted you barely recognize them. Then, later revisiting that media to realize that a: you've become them, your true self, or b, in Owen's case: that you've buried that person alive and barely recognize yourself now.
It's really such a unique experience that I've never been able to put into words before. These scenes gave me such a visceral feeling and I almost cried in the theater. The scene of Owen in Isabel's dress is just the cherry on top. I myself am lucky enough to not need to transition and growing up I didn't feel as much dysphoria as my other trans friends, but this reminds me of a good friend of mine who used to dress in heels, makeup, skirts, and dresses to try and lessen the dysphoria she felt growing up in the wrong body.
I also love how the movie shows being queer in school.
Like how Maddy asks Owen if he likes girls or boys, and he replies with: "I think I like TV shows."
Avoiding the question because you either don't know the answer, or are so afraid you're gonna get bullied even more for being who you are.
Growing up, there weren't many queer kids in my school. So when we found each other, we stuck together. But for most of school, we were alone. No groups, not many friends, no space at the lunch table for us.
And seeing Owen, I just felt this connection to him almost immediately. Alone, not part of any group, until he finally finds Maddy. They don't have anything in common except the show, which is really the only reason they're friends, but it keeps them together, They're bonded.
For me, I see this as finding another queer kid in a mostly straight school. You may not have much in common, but that identity means you two will stick together, no matter what.
TLDR: I love isttvg, it makes me cry, everyone is gay and fuck imdb.
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retiredkat · 6 months ago
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Great interview with Eric Bogosian
Vulture article
Eric Bogosian Would Get Naked for Interview With the Vampire 10:31 A.M.
Daniel Molloy is a fictional two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, bullshitometer, and sass-kitten, an aging journalist holding his own among monsters while conducting the titular Q&A at the heart of Interview With the Vampire. With clear-eyed wit and a dash of human vulnerability, Eric Bogosian gives Molloy a distinctly Anthony Bourdain–ish edge infused with notes of his own acerbic Talk Radio character Barry Champlain. In Anne Rice’s book and the movie that followed, Daniel Molloy is a cub reporter trembling over his tape deck. But in Rolin Jones’s brilliant AMC adaptation, which just wrapped up its second season, this isn’t Molloy’s first twirl around the vampire hoedown. The conversation takes place 50 years after that first interview ended in blood, gore, and sexual frustration (Luke Brandon Field plays the younger Molloy in flashbacks, including this season’s standout episode five). Now Molloy’s seen it all, has a loaded past with these vamps, and when he trembles, it’s from Parkinson’s, rarely nerves. Molloy’s the audience surrogate, cutting through Louis (Jacob Anderson) and Armand’s (Assad Zaman) competing narratives while ultimately shipping Loustat just like the rest of us.
This delicate dynamic got slammed into a concrete wall and lit on fire (complimentary) in the final minutes of the season-two finale, when Molloy was revealed to have been turned into a vampire by Armand, breaking the ancient vampire’s centuries-long incel streak. And boy, is it a reveal, with a cocky Molloy, riding high on his best-selling book, whipping off his sunglasses at night to reveal color-changing eyes while doing mental walkie-talkie with Louis. He’s even got a sick leather jacket to really hammer home that he’s a cool bad-boy vampire now. It’s an incredibly fun beat to leave this character on and opens up a world of season-three possibilities for Bogosian as a performer who, at 71, has always wanted to play a vampire.
Do you know how weird it is to be hitting record on my MacBook right now to interview you about playing a character who’s always hitting record on his MacBook to interview people?
It’s all weird to me. I’m from another century, so all these things are new to me.
This is suspiciously sounding more and more like an interview with a vampire by the minute! Which makes sense, considering where we last saw Daniel in the finale.
Since we have multiple narratives and jump around in time already, I don’t know where things are going. Personally, I’d love to see more of young Daniel, Luke Brandon Field. I think he’s terrific. I’d love to see more Claudia. I wonder whether vampires can time travel. I think they can move around in time. I’m not sure how much Anne Rice you’ve read, but Merrick can actually bring people back from the dead, so you never know.
What was your relationship to the books when you signed on to this show?
In the mid-’70s, when Interview With the Vampire came out, I was 20-something and reading that stuff and I loved it. Then I got distracted by life. When we started doing the show, I was going to read the first one again, but then I realized that the script and my character were quite different, so I thought, I better stick to the script.
However, I needed to know what happened next, so I started plowing through the books and it was amazing. The Vampire Lestat was a trip — that’s what they’ll be hitting next — and they just got trippier and trippier. I just finished the seventh, which puts all the stories together. I love Anne Rice because her imagination is completely unfettered and she plays with really deep themes in a way that’s not heavy. It’s not like you’re reading Ayn Rand; it’s more like Stephen King. She explores death in the guise of these vampires by asking, Oh yeah, you wanna be immortal? Here’s what immortal looks like.
I’ve always been a big fan of vamps. I lobbied Francis Ford Coppola to get a part in his Dracula in the ’90s. I guess I wasn’t a big star, so I couldn’t get a part in it, but he was nice about it and invited me to set. I’ve told this story in other interviews, but my wife was directing a play in Chicago, which, totally by coincidence, was written by one of our first-year writers. On the plane there, I was thinking about life, thinking, I’ve done so many things. What’s left? And I thought, Man, I still really want to play a vampire. And when I landed, I got a phone call: “Do you want to be on Interview With the Vampire?” At the time, it wasn’t like, “You’re going to be a vampire,” but I figured vampire-adjacent was good enough. And of course, it evolved, and as I got on set, Assad was explaining all of these things that were going to happen with my character. Sometimes I didn’t even want to hear about it because we never know what’s going to happen. There have been slight detours off the main story, particularly with my character.
What were those things you didn’t want to hear about your character that Assad was talking about?
I become, you know, under his spell in later stories, and there’s a whole relationship that goes on between us. I’m not entirely clear at this point how that’s going to shake out or if it’s going to shake out. I didn’t necessarily want to go waltzing into something where they were making me do anything weird or awkward or embarrassing to no particular end. I’ve done nudity and stuff like that a long time ago, and at 71, I’m not really big on getting naked and sexy onscreen.
However, having been around the genius of Rolin Jones for two years, whatever he wants to do, I’ll do it. When you’re around a master like this, it becomes a process of discovery. When I’m learning my lines it’s like, Oh, this is 3-D chess. There’s a lot going on here that I didn’t see the first time I read it. When I first got this job, I thought I was just going to be doing bookends every episode, like, “So, tell me the story,” and then it would be vampires the whole time, and at the end I’d be like, “Hmmm!” And then, “stay tuned for the next episode!” But Rolin had this idea from the beginning and it went deeper and deeper until it was insane by the end of the second season.
I would prefer not to be playing cliché. Sometimes I’m playing something that feels like a lot of other things I’ve done. Even in the service of a show that is terrific, like Succession or Billions, the things I’m doing on those shows are not things I’ve never done before. As a friend of mine said when I was doing Under Siege 2 with Steven Seagal 1,000 years ago, “They just want you to do that Eric thing you do.” My stage stuff is about being very big and very loud, and a lot of the stuff I do on-camera is like in Uncut Gems, being very angry and very broad. But this thing, particularly in the fifth episode, and going into the end — I have to go places that I’ve never gone as an actor before. The subtlety of episode five, where I am brought to tears, that’s new stuff for me, and I was really happy to do it. Not only working with Rolin and the directors but with everybody. The writers bring a lot of sensitivity, a lot of nuance to every scene.
I need to ask if you’ve seen this: Someone from the writers’ room tweeted a picture of a note card that was on the wall for episode five and it just says, “MOLLOY ASKS ABOUT 1973: DID WE FUCK?”
I love that beat. As much as I’m known for my verbosity, I love reaction stuff, too. Jacob and I are very in sync, and we’ve developed a good relationship. He’s not holding back, he’s not being cagey, and that allows you to trust the other person a lot. You’d be amazed how some actors … are actually not good actors. They’re thinking about what they look like and all this crap. Jacob can’t be thinking about what he looks like because sometimes he looks really nasty. He’s letting the emotions build out of him. And yet he’s always very adept at sculpting what he’s doing. It’s a great company. I never work with Sam, I just see him all the time on set, but that scene in the courtroom, and the scene in New Orleans … where’s that shit coming from? The emotion is wild.
You all have incredible chemistry with each other, too. Knowing where your character might go with Armand, or what other buried history may or may not also be between them, how do you play that dynamic?
In scripted narratives, you’ve just got to play what the script is doing and let the audience try to figure out the rest of it. On Succession, I worked with Sarah Snook, and her character was never clear until the end. They were making it very hard to figure out what she was thinking. And I don’t know that she always knew herself what she was thinking. She was playing the script.
There are a lot of ways to look at it, and ask, What’s really going on here? Much of it is the audience putting it together. They hear the lines, they see my face, and an older actor’s face kind of has a narrative built into it. All of it gets put together, and what you don’t know becomes fodder for your imagination.
And this audience has quite the imagination.
I’ve never been through this experience before, exploring where the audience is at. I’m reading a lot of the blogs, and they make a science out of it. Rolin gives them all they can eat in terms of details and Easter eggs that are blended into the story. I think like 30 percent of our audience is really familiar with the books, so they’re constantly checking back and forth between Anne Rice’s story and ours. So far, Rolin’s been scoring pretty well in terms of being consistent with the original material.
But again, Daniel is a whole different ball of wax. The Armand thing is interesting, because it goes into all kinds of fascinating realms far away and weird. I had to get out history books and start reading about ancient Kyiv.
The fans aren’t even just pulling from the books; I’ve seen some draw comparisons from your work like Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll. They’re finding all these crazy parallels.
That I haven’t seen. The character in this show and me in real life have a lot of parallels. Just imagine young Daniel in the show, that was my life. The funny thing is when I used to write and perform these monologues, in my mind they didn’t have anything to do with me. And then last year, Andre Royo, who played Bubs on The Wire, did one of my shows, Drinking in America, onstage. This was the first time that I’ve watched my own solo show, and he did a great job. I started to understand the biographical aspects of these monologues. It isn’t until afterward that I can look at it and go, Oh right, this is about that. Rolin told me that they were always thinking of me for this role. He didn’t know me, so this was coming out of his enthusiasm for a movie I did 700 years ago, Talk Radio with Oliver Stone. That was based on a play I wrote for myself. What I write about has to do with a certain kind of narcissistic personality, which seems to be the theme of this TV show — they’re all narcissists in one way or another.
I’m fascinated by my character. In episode five, when he’s in San Francisco, he’s kind of a loser. That’s what Armand says: “You might as well die right now. Where’s your life going?” And yet Daniel has two Pulitzer Prizes by the time he’s an older guy. What is that about? I would almost not believe it except that it happened to me. I was leading a really dissolute life in the late ’70s into the early ’80s. I didn’t win a Pulitzer, but I was nominated in 1987 and continued to be, I guess, “successful.” So it makes sense that it happens to Daniel. But you can also ask, What motivates this? It’s a way of fighting against the world or maintaining your sanity.
I think I’ll continue to play with the push-pull of this guy if I continue with the show. In San Francisco, he says, “Make me a vampire.” Later in Dubai, he says, “No, I don’t want it, because I’ll outlive my children.” He’s going back and forth. Of course, what we don’t see in the last episode is how did he become a vamp? Did he say, “Yeah, I want to do it?” Or did he get drunk with Armand one night and when he wasn’t looking, he became a vampire? I guess we’ll find out.
I’m sure it’s the subject of dozens of fan fictions already.
I’ve gotten so close with Assad. We’ve enjoyed spending a lot of time with each other. But when he gets on set, he turns into a different person. That’s some evil shit going on there. The way he ends up in that last episode, kind of smashed, he put everything into that. It’s a lot of fun. I never got into this business to do anything other than make believe and pretend. I feel more whole when I’m being somebody else than when I’m my own self, so the more deeply we can pretend when we’re making the show, the more deeply we can get into all of this, the higher I get from it. And when you’ve got guys like this who are ready to fly, I want to go flying with them.
I know you said you don’t really know what’s happening next season, but I look forward to your vampire adventures.
Rolin keeps sending me notes saying we’re gonna have an amazing time when we start shooting again. I can’t wait. It’s just that there’s a whole formal process of how this goes, and I’m waiting for my engraved invitation from the King of AMC to say “welcome back.”
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s1aywalker · 7 months ago
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꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ just fake it through the day and the night is your god. ꨄ
↷ ✩ —— video store clerk sam monroe headcanons. (sfw)
warnings: brief mention of weed, profane language (sorry i can't help it).
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𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who is admittedly terrible at his job. he lives by the philosophy of the customer is always wrong. but what he lacks in customer service skills, he makes up for in love of movies... especially horror.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who gets fired from the store what seems like every other week. whether it's because his drawer was suspiciously short, because he didn't show up, or because too many customers have called complaining about his poor attitude and how he smells like a skunk.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who rolls out of bed in the late afternoon to show up for his closing shift ten minutes late with his boots unlaced, still wearing his smeared eyeliner from the night before.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who soccer moms can't stand because he always has some splatter gore flick playing on the display television behind the counter. the snot nosed kids hug mommy's legs and hide their face in her back while they're checking out. meanwhile, she's shooting sam death glares and he seems oblivious. when really, he just doesn't give a fuck. she goes home with her bambi and spy kids tapes, and immediately makes a phone call to his manager... another tally on his shit list.
"all those bitchy moms are lucky," he mumbles to you while his fingers absentmindedly toy with the silver labret stabbed through his skin. but there's something playful, amused tugging crookedly on his lips as his gaze remains focused on the flickering television, while screams of terror crackled from speakers. "this isn't shit. if i wanted to traumatize their little brats, i'd put on maniac... i left my nametag at home, anyway." but, of course, it isn't difficult for the higher ups to piece together the puzzle.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who thinks it's fucking hilarious to recommend the worst selections imaginable to customers that won't know what hit 'em. another reason for him to be fired, honestly. he sees a teen lingering a little too long in the horror section and when they ask for something that'll scare their friends this weekend... according to his manager, faces of death was not the correct answer.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe whose favorite customer is you.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who always makes it a point to come out from behind his throne that is the checkout counter every time you come in. he wants to bug you, to breathe down your neck to see what you're going to rent because he's nosey and too impatient to find out what it'll be whenever you decide to bring your handful of selections to the front. and he wants to throw out his own recommendations, too, while he straightens out a nearby shelf.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who can go on for hours about movies when he's talking to you. he's very strongly opinionated... to a fault, honestly. because he won't bite his tongue when you examine a tape he's seen and didn't like, or when you bring up enjoying some new horror flick that, in his mind, has nothing compared to a good gory classic. he'll argue with you on it, and remain firm on his stance, with a mouth that seems and sounds mean, but it's never really directed towards you.
"the grudge fucking sucked, don't you dare get that." he snorted, snatching the new release out of your hands with more aggression than necessary. it's shoved back into its slot as he begins scanning over the neatly organized shelf labeled horror, a black painted nail dragging along spines for something specific. "they americanized it for no goddamn reason... here." the search was over as he pulled out the haunting japanese cover of ju-on. "watch the original... and call me if you piss your pants."
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who only pretends to be annoyed when you come in ten til close with no reason other than to keep him company during the deserted hour. he says you should have just called him to hang after he clocked out, but really, he's glad you're there, because he's seen the movie he has on at least six times.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who stands behind the counter while you're propped up on the surface during a lull, security cameras be damned. he was supposed to have mopped the bathroom and locked the doors by now... but mouths keep running and laughter becomes louder than the shitty movie that has now been forgotten and reduced to background noise with a chilling soundtrack.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who is inching closer to your perched position and closing the gap with a bag of sour gummy worms in his hands that he says the store won't notice missing. the plastic corner is ripped open with his teeth to share and it's a bribe, a ploy to get you to stay longer.
𝜗𝜚˚⋆ sam monroe who finally convinces you to rent the evil dead trilogy. it's one of his favorites, and of course he's going to suggest you make a marathon out of it, with him tagging along for the blood soaked journey. he promises to bring your favorite candies and the popcorn with extra butter, and he promises to not talk through them... but he accidentally grabs the regular popcorn instead, and he can't help but go on and on about every single fun fact about the series that pops into his head while he gradually scoots closer.
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ladyredmoon13 · 1 year ago
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DCXDP prompt
The Meta Games
What originally started as a group of local teens challenging each other to see who would pay for milkshakes. Changed and grew into one of the largest sporting events the world had ever known.
The Meta Games, in the beginning, was nothing more than a town full of bored adolescents coming up with their own source of entertainment. In a place like Amity Park could you blame them?
The teens would come up with fun challenges and even obstacle courses to prove who was the best. The Games weren't even closed off to non-metas. So if you were willing to play, you could. Just don't go complaining if you got hurt.
Hell, Danny Fenton and Valerie Grey regularly take turns in the winning spot from time to time. If they could try and succeed, why not everyone else?
As the years passed the event got bigger and bigger. Blowing up into a sensation when an out-of-towner stumbled upon the event and thought it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen.
Soon they had sponsors, funding, and celebrity guests. Of course, then they had to make an actual rule book on how to play just to make the games official/legit. But seeing how the rules were what they were in the beginning(plus some red tape) and very easy to follow. Nobody minded.
Things were fine. That is until The Meta Games caught the Justice Leagues' attention. Contestants, both Meta and non, have gone missing at the games. No one knows where they are going and as they look deeper into the events hosted city's a worrying pattern emerged.
They were always participants but never the winners. Most had extraordinary abilities but others had athletic prowess. Add in the fact that the games were hosted in the same town every year and said town was known for its 'ghost attacks'. Then it wasn’t exactly looking good.
Even so, more information was needed. Whether they liked it or not they needed to go undercover.
_____________________
Danny looked down at the flyer in his hand and scowled. The Meta Games were in a week and he couldn't even be happy about it. To focused on the fact that one of his friends was missing.
He had told Wolf a month ago about how excited he was about participating in the last MG he could before going off to college. He had been intrigued and after Danny explained that the event was open to 'anyone' and 'everyone'.
He eagerly left to go sign up himself. That was weeks ago and there was still no sign of him. He had talked to witnesses who put him at the sign-up booth and Tucker was able to pull up footage of him entering but never leaving.
Something was wrong, and it had something to do with the games themselves. Sure they might have started out innocently enough, but now he's thinking something else saw an opportunity and corrupted them, so to speak.
Either way, he was investigating this. He's just glad that not only did he already have a cover story and his friends in the stands to have his back, but that Ember was the host for this year. Win-win, really.
Not to mention this year's thyme is pretty good. The Justice League, sounds like if would be interesting.
------------------------
Roulette looked down at all the applications on her desk and smiled. Just a few more fighters and she'll be ready to open her new brawls up in the underground. This time, bigger, better, and bloodier then they ever were.
Looking at one application in particular she smiled. One of the original contestants had signed up, a veteran if you will. One that had ended up on top more then the others. Oh Mr. Fenton, what a beautiful opportunity you are.
~So basically Roulette takes over what was a legit competition for fun and prizes and uses it to supply fighters for her illegal fights in her underground gladiator fights behind the scenes.
The League who don't know what is up with this kid and wondering just what he's up to while simultaneously trying to make sure he's not the next target.(No, Batman you can not adopt him.)
Both Danny and the League know something isn't right and investigate. Danny with the help of his friends and other ghosts(who want Wolf back safe and sound. Yes, they are worried).
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outsideratheart · 2 years ago
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Unstoppable (Leah Williamson x reader)
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Based off this request. 
A/N: I really wasn’t in the writing mood but then i got this request and I wanted to celebrate today’s win. I hope you guys like it.
You had never doubted yourself more than you had in the past few weeks. You came back from an serious ankle injury the same game Beth tore her ACL and then Viv injured hers too. It lead to you been put back into the starting 11 ahead of plan and the pressure that the both you and the fans put on you was incredibly high. 
The international break was when things changed. The Arnold cup was a place to have fun and try new things. Sarina gave you the freedom to play how you liked and it payed off. You won top goal scorer and player of the tournament. You were proud of your performances and awards but it failed in comparison to the proudness your girlfriend felt. 
When Arsenal played Chelsea in the FA cup you felt like you were the only attacker that showed up, still you tried everything but AKB managed to save every single one of your shots. You left that game back to your old self doubting ways and it left only one option, brutal honesty. The next day you spent hours reviewing game tape and ignoring your girlfriend so when you arrived at Coloney the following morning Leah was not only in a mood with you but the rest of the forwards too because you gave them all your attention instead of her. After you explained what you’d learned from the tapes you worked with Stina, Caitlyn and a few of the coaching staff on ways you need to improve if you stand a chance against Chelsea in the Conti cup final. 
“You ready baby” Leah stood in between your legs after the team had emptied the locker room. 
“What if I can’t do it? You’ve seen the way I’ve been playing. What if I’ll never be the same as I was before the injury” 
The lack in confidence wasn’t something Leah could prepare herself for. You oozed the stuff when you played and it why you were the WSL’s top goal scorer. Lately she had seen the way you let people’s opinions get in your head whether it was from the media or reading fan comments on social media. Your head, which was once like Fort Knox, had become free entry for anyone who pleased. 
“Look at me” Leah uses her index finger to tilt your chin upwards. The forced movement meaning that you were now looking directly into the blue eyes you loved so much “I need you to go out there and have the same amount of faith in you as I do. We know how to beat Chelsea, you obsessed over the footage for hours, nobody knows more about this team than you. You are going to go out there and be unstoppable” 
Leah bends down slightly and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. An act which until this point never happen on game day but Leah knew you needed the reassurance which comes with the act of affection.
“Unstoppable” you mumble to yourself.
“That’s right baby and whilst you’re at it try to score a goal for me” She pulls you to your feet and together you enter the tunnel. As you walk out onto the pitch you have extra motivation to perform. Besides when your girlfriend asks for a goal you never disappoint and you wasn’t go to start today.
When Chelsea score within the first two minutes you feel the doubt and insecurities begin to rise but you ignore them and move on. It works because within ten minutes the ball finds its way into the back of the Chelsea net after you sent a rocket from outside the box. The goal itself was beautiful and your confident side is on full display. Leah is somehow the first one to you, whether that is because she was the closest or because your team mates knew how much this moment meant to you and Leah would be the person you wanted to celebrate with most.
The final whistle blows and you cannot believe you did it. Most of the world had written you and your team off for this game but you all proved them wrong and the look of the Chelsea player’s faces was the icing on the cake. You had a brief moment with Leah on the pitch but you knew better than to get to handsy with this many eyes watching. Jen passes you and Katie a small bottle of champagne, you being the responsible adult you are refused the drink but the Scottish defender tells you it was alcohol free. It passes the smell test so the three of the of you down most of the bottle then you read the label, you should have known better.
“We’re champions” Leah jumps on your back causes you to stumble a little “Are you drunk?” 
You never stumbled, not this much, so it was a giveaway that you had started the celebrations without her.
“I thought it was alcohol free” you reminded her of an innocent child and it was adorable. 
“Come on, we’ve got media to do with Alex” Leah grabbed your hand and together you walked towards the BBC stand.
The spotlight never came easy to you and once the final whistle was blown it didn’t take long for you to go back to your shy self. It was naive of you to think Alex and Farrah would only ask Leah questions seen as through you scored and won player of the match. After the first question, Katie comes out of nowhere and hands you another bottle of champagne, the two of your cheers and you drink more of it. The buzz you felt led to your first stage of intoxication, touchy. Leah answers her set of questions the best she could but you were out to make things more difficult. Your hand, which started by your side, found its way to the small of her back then ventured lower and lower until it rested comfortably on her bum. Alex chuckles when she catches you but you only raise your eyebrows in response, she had seen this side of you before and knew there was no stopping you.
You prove this point by pulling Leah to the locker room as soon as the interview is finished. 
“Whoah, what’s the rush?” Leah giggles as you quickly shut the locker room door.
“I don’t know how long i’ll have” you grab her hips her pull her close to you.
“For what?” 
“This” you crash your lips in Leah’s with passion. The way your body reacted when her lips were on yours amazed you. She had so much power over you and she didn’t even realise it. Your lips move in sync and with every kiss Leah take one step forward towards your locker. The back of you knees hit the seat making you sit down and Leah wastes no time in sitting on your lap with her legs either side of you. You hadn’t kissed her like this in weeks and your girlfriend was savouring every second. For a brief moment you forget about where you are. You let your hands roam her body before pulling her shirt over her head, she in suit does the same thing. She moves her attention to your neck, more specifically the spot she knows drives you wild.
“Eww” Beth says as she enters the locker room.
“This is a family event girls, we have kids present” Jen jokingly covers Gio’s eyes.
Leah, who is clearly more embarrassed than you, quickly gets up off your lap and makes herself presentable. You meanwhile sit back in frustration, only getting dressed when Leah throws a shirt at you.
With the two of you dressed the celebrations begin in the locker room. Jen passes you another bottle of champagne honestly stating that this one has alcohol in but given your new found frustrations down a few mouthfuls. 
Even though you won you still have notes on your performance and how you could have been better so you begin talking with a member of the coaching staff, diagrams are drawn on the board and the conversation gains the attention of Jonas who is intrigued by your strategies. He agrees to work on them when the team returns to training in two days time.
“This is great Y/N and today you proved everybody wrong” he hugged you and the praise was like music to your ears.
“Thanks gaffa” 
“Nice touch. Let me guess, it was Leah’s idea? she wanted the player of the matches shirt”
In a rush it seems Leah put your shirt on, leaving you to wear hers.
“Oh this” you pull at the shirt “Yes, you know how big of a fan she is” 
“Sure” It was clear he didn’t believe you but you didn’t care. 
You had waited 4 years for this moment. It had been a long silverware drought for Arsenal and you hoped that this win gave the team the confidence it needs to return to league football and challenge for the top spot. You were certainly ready for it and even though you were missing your injured team mates you know the team has what it takes to win.
“You two look good together”
Leah takes a quick photo of you with the trophy before taking a photo with both of you. She sends it to her mum followed by a message saying you’ll meet up with them soon.
The closeness in which Leah is sitting gives you the perfect opportunity to continue your mission from earlier. You pepper kisses on the back and side of her neck, smiling smugly when her head dips back in pleasure.
“I can’t wait till we are back in at the hotel” Leah turns and kiss you quickly.
“I don’t plan of waiting that long. You better tell your mum we will be late”
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thursdayinspace · 9 months ago
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Mulder in "Little Green Men" (s2ep1). He's so lonely. What's interesting to me is the contrast to Mulder from the pilot and Mulder here. We got an idea in the pilot of how lonely he must be, but he had been on his own for a while and that was his default. Seeing him at the beginning of s2 is heartbreaking. At the begining of s1 he was so used to being alone. But now . . . Of course the fact that the x files have been closed is getting to him, but it also becomes so obvious how much he has come to rely and depend on having Scully around, on working with someone. With her.
Their meeting in the parking garage -- he feels like he has lost his purpose, even doubts his memories and his experiences, he feels like everything they've been through hasn't been worth it because they've accomplished nothing. We don't know how or if he would have managed to surface from that eventually on his own. Most likely he would have. But it might have taken him a long time. It's Scully who doesn't let him give up: "During your time with the X-Files, you've seen so much." / "Even if George Hale only saw elves in his mind, the telescope still got built. Don't give up. And next time we meet out in the open." (Which becomes a recurring theme over the years, all the way up to the revival. But that would deserve its own post.) (The way she touches his hair before she leaves though. <3)
What kills me in this episode is Mulder recording his tape for Scully in Puerto Rico: "Deep Throat said "Trust no one." And that's hard, Scully, suspecting everyone, everything. It wears you down. You even begin to doubt what you know is the truth. Before, I could only trust myself. Now, I can only trust you, and they've taken you away from me." I mean, compare that to pilot Mulder? Not trusting anyone was what he did. That was Mulder. He may or may not have been showing off a little bit for Scully, but he seemed to have made quite a home for himself in his lone wolf existence (out of necessity). He can't do that anymore. He needs something to hold onto. And he had that in his partnership with Scully.
Also. THEY'VE TAKEN YOU AWAY FROM ME. Can we take a second to appreciate what that means? He knows she would not have chosen to leave. He believes that. He trusts her absolutely. She's become a lifeline for him. Put that together with his quote from the end of the episode: "I may not have the X-Files, Scully, but I still have my work. And I’ve still got you. And I still have myself." The order of those statements seems important: He thought he had lost his purpose in the beginning of this episode. He wasn't even sure whether or not he still believed in it. Now he has motivation again.
And he has Scully. She stuck around, not just because of the work. When he was at his lowest, she arranged secret meetings for them, told him not to give up, even followed him all the way to Puerto Rico. He doesn't believe she'd have chosen to leave if the x files hadn't been closed, but I don't think he was sure she'd stick around forever without a reason. But she's relentless in her loyalty and friendship -- a trait he recognizes because it's one they share. He will never choose to leave her, and is allowing himself to trust that she's still there because she wants to be.
Finally, he's also got himself. Among all the things he'd lost at the beginning of the episode, the biggest loss was himself. But he was mourning everything except that. Those "good riddance @ former me" vibes were strong at the beginning of the episode -- and of course they were a form of grief. But it almost feels like he wanted to punish himself, blame himself for everything that went wrong. (That is also something we keep seeing. The show has amazing continuity with things like that. Things get to him. He takes failure really hard. He's not gentle with himself.) So this is the culmination of the previous two points: he has his purpose back, and he has someone who cares about him, who has his back, someone he loves (and I am going to use that term here even if it's debatable how aware they are of their feelings at this point; there are so many forms of love, and I think it's not up to debate that they love each other in some way, possibly even a way they may not even know about yet).
It's such a strong episode for him, and I love all the ways it mirrors the pilot and contrasts the Mulder from back then with the Mulder a year later. So much has happened, and neither he nor Scully are the same people they were, and that's life. It's so well done.
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bonzos-number-1-fan · 5 months ago
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TMAGP 26 Thoughts: Sam is awkward. Celia is hot.
Yet another guest writer episodes and this time it's Muna Hussen. She' co-creator and producer on The Silt Verses, and produced and acted in I Am In Eskew. The Silt Verses is a show I can wholeheartedly suggest giving a listen. It's great in just about every way a thing can be. I might leave a pitch for it as an addendum. I Am In Eskew is in the forever pile of things I may one day get to. It's a really well written episode too, I liked this one a lot. It is, unfortunately, another pretty explicit one so I don't expect to have a load to say, but that's not the same as it being bad.
Spoilers for episode 26 below the cut.
Celia and Sam's conversation doesn't have a load of note in it. Yes, they're going to meet Helen but that's for later. The important detail here is how Celia categorises her incidents. Which she does with the least effort imaginable. She's not had any misfiles yet which tells me that either those no longer happen or you just need to get it in the right Section. But more importantly than that it's also a good look at just how little she cares about the job. We've all known she's had ulterior motives from her introduction but it's nice to see ways that is reflected.
Much like the last incident there isn't too too much to rip into for what I talk about. I'm not sure the themes of this one speak to any greater connection and the characters are all new as far as I know. Which only really leaves one detail to talk about. The Archivist or, rather, *an *Archivist as that's the more interesting detail. The Archivist here didn't really do much we've not seen before. The forced running isn't to dissimilar to the forced drowning and Jarrod did seem to be mumbling in classic fashion. No statement to be heard as such but that might just be because of the framing. However, unlike previous run ins with an Archivist they're very much aware that they're not the only one. Whether this leads to something more grand or not is hard to say but it's an interesting detail.
Alice is finally up to episode 11 with the plot. More seriously it's nice to see her piecing things together now. I do wonder if that was Chester's point or not. Gwen was a little weird in this interaction IMO. Alice and Gwen shared a fairly major revelation together, that this ties into, but she seems to have distanced herself a lot from that emotionally already. Which isn't out of character but does come a little fast.
Helen is *very *Helen here. I think of all the returning characters she might have changed the least. At least from where she started. It's lovely to see her back, although I do wonder if maybe they're leaning on these characters a little too much at this stage. It's hard to know if this is one-off fanservice or the way of things going forward. I hope it's the latter because the less of the old cast we get the more of the new cast we'll see. There isn't a huge amount to say here but its good to see them getting more information about the Institute. Also, unfortunately Helen is still a tory. Categorically disproving the "these characters are now living their best life" theory. It's all still hell. I'd also include the transcripts note for the laugh but that's a TMA spoiler and probably one person hasn't seen that show. Besides if you know, you know.
Sam and Celia finally fucked. Good for them. Well, bad for them if TMA is anything to go off for couples in this setting. But, y'know.
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Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet
DPHW Theory: 4463 is pretty normal for this, I think. No major surprises.
CAT# Theory: 1 is a 1. I'll maybe try to write an essay on this before the season ends. No prommies tho.
R# Theory: BC seems about right.
Header talk: Exhaustion (Athletic) -/- Compulsion (Tape). Also very very normal.
I guess I will write that addendum then.
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Addendum: Go listen to The Silt Verses.
It's a horror audio drama that's more or less a world where the modern religious landscape is a polytheistic one, with fabricated corporate gods putting pressure on local ones, outlawed religions, and all sorts of fun stuff. But it's a world where religions, fabricated or otherwise, are also powerful and gods do exist and perform miracles. It follows two worshippers of the Trawler Man, and outlawed god, on their pilgrimage up its great black river. As you might expect things don't go smoothly and soon enough there's a man hunt, run ins with cults stranger than theirs, and all sorts of revelations.
The world building is a real high light too. It's just the right level of "this world is horrific yet treated as mundane". It's worth listening just to see how that's all built on.
I rate it a strong prisoners-buried-alive-in-the-foundations-of-new-construction-projects-to-bless-them/10.
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lowkeyerror · 1 year ago
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Teamwork
Kate Bishop x Reader
Word Count: 3.3k
Notes: Honestly its been so long I dont even know what goes here... probably violence
Summary: The leader of the Avengers thinks that Kate and Y/n need to work on their teamwork so he sends them on a mission together.
An: I won't say that I'm back prematurely (like I did my last post like 4 months ago) but I will say I feel the need to post so perhaps I will
Masterlist
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Kate was sweet like gumdrops. She was the kindest soul you had ever crossed paths with. Her doe eyes were always filled to the brim with emotion. Her skin was soft like clouds in the sky.
These were indisputable facts in your eyes, yet no one would know that by the way you treated her.
You and Kate were colleagues. Both young and upcoming heroes with a lot to prove. Technically you were on the same team, but you treated Kate as your rival.
You and Kate were not cute friendly rivals, but bitter ones. Mostly due to your nasty attitude towards her.
Though you actually quite admired how good Kate was at her job, you acted as though it irked you. Every time she was in the field, she came back a better hero.
She was good at adapting to others' mistakes. She might panic under pressure, but she never failed a mission. The most irritating thing is that she did it all with that award-winning smile plastered on her face.
You were also very good at your job, just a lot less enthusiastic than Kate. If Kate was a gumdrop, you were black licorice.
You worked endlessly on becoming a better hero. Your precision was perfect, it was your gift. There wasn't any chance you'd miss a target. Whether you were throwing a knife, shooting a gun, or trying to make a paper ball in the trash can.
As the youngest members of your team, the two of you often found yourself paired together.
Being paired with Kate was such a double-edged sword for you. On one hand, you got to be extremely close with the most beautiful woman you'd ever seen. On the other hand, you always acted as though you hated her.
" Earth to Y/n, are you listening to me?"
You slowly nod at your captain's words, not at all hearing what he said.
He tilts his head to the side," Ok then what did I say?"
You remain silent, not having the slightest clue of what he said. Kate couldn't hold in her laughter about your blunder. You glare at the brunette.
" I said the main point of focus in this team is our teamwork. If we're going to be working together, we have to respect each other at least. You are lacking in that department."
Kate laughs even louder, causing you to speak up.
" Why is she here for this?"
Sam speaks up," Because she's also lacking in that department."
Kate's laughter stops abruptly," What do you mean, I'm great at working with others?"
Sam looks between the two of and shakes his head," Every time you two are sent on a mission together, you bicker at each other the entire time. You lose focus, and you almost cost us the mission."
" Key word, almost. We've never failed a mission as partners. Our success rate is 100%"
" I don't like having to agree with Y/n, but she's right. Even without being buddy-buddy, we always find a way to complete the job."
Sam sighs," I've seen the tapes, I know the missions get completed, but there's a lack of teamwork. For example, you're hardly watching each other's backs."
" Kate's a big girl, she doesn't need me to look over her shoulder," you argued with him.
" This is what I'm talking about. Everyone on this team is capable of getting the job done on their own. Which means if we send more than 1 person, it is absolutely necessary for you to be looking out for your partner. If I don't see some proper teamwork on your next assignment, you both will be suspended from field work until you can sort it out."
" Are you serious?"
" You can't do that."
Sam slides a folder over to the both of you before standing up," Figure it out, because I'm not playing."
You were fuming when he left. This wasn't fair to either of you. Why were you being punished for being successful on your partnered missions? Just because you weren’t besties doesn't mean you deserve this treatment.
" If you scowl any harder, your face will be like that permanently," Kate spoke to you.
You glare at her again, and she puts her hands up in surrender," That's not very teamwork of you, Y/n."
You sigh and put your head in your hands," This is fucking stupid."
Kate rubs a hand through her hair," I agree. So let's get it over with."
After briefly scanning through the files, you both got prepared for the mission. You were going to check out a minor anomaly in some small country you'd never heard of. The locals had been recently reporting the same suspicious figure, seemingly scoping out the place and buying normal household things that could be used to enhance chemical weapons.
" So, how exactly are we going to demonstrate teamwork?" Kate interrupted the silence on your ride.
You shrug," Fuck if I know."
Kate rolls her eyes," Guess I'll be doing all the heavy lifting as always."
" What did you just say?"
She crosses her arms," You heard me."
You get up from your seat and walk over to her. You squat down so that your face is level with hers. From there you can smell that intoxicating perfume she wears. Her doe eyes are sharp as they look into yours. You almost compliment her, but then reality kicks in.
" Listen here, princess, there was some truth to what Sam said back there. We don't have to like each other, but respect is necessary. And I don't appreciate the disrespect from you."
Kate scoffs," You disrespect me all the time."
" Name one time."
Kate begins to open her mouth, then promptly shuts it.
" I make snide remarks, sure, but I've never said anything negative about your skill level or ability to get the job done because you've given me no reason to."
Kate tilts her head," Was that a- did you just compliment me?"
You break eye contact as you feel the tip of your ears heat up," Look, all I'm saying is don't act like I'm not good at my job."
Kate keeps a small smile on her face," I never said you weren't good, I just think I'm better."
" I'm not having this argument with you."
The rest of the ride was fairly silent after that. The silence was different from the usual bickering, but maybe the captain would see that as a step in the right direction.
When you arrived in the country, you could already sense that something was off. It was a mixture of a gut feeling and observation. It seemed like most of the townspeople had barricaded themselves inside.
" Something isn't right with this place," Kate speaks softly as you both walk further into town.
When comparing what you saw in front of you to what was in the file, it was easy to see large differences in the town. Though the town was small, it wasn't supposed to be vacant by any means. The robust amount of locals was the ones who reported an issue in the first place.
" I don't like it at all. Keep your guard up, Bishop."
The few people you saw wouldn't make any eye contact with you. They were quick to identify you both as outsiders. It was inevitable, as you couldn't blend in to a crowd if the crowd was non-existent in the first place.
The next local that past you was an elderly man, he stopped at the sight of you and spoke," You lot aren't from around here, are you."
" No sir, just visiting. Actually, we're looking for a certain hotel in town," you show him a picture of the place on your phone and his eyes go wide.
" You're looking for trouble."
There's a small pocket of silence which Kate fills," Why would you say that?"
" Cause you're looking for him. He's the only one that stays at that inn. And we all know to steer clear of it."
The man tries to leave, but you stop him," What happened to this place?"
" He happened… started getting rid of people he had problems with. People who gave him trouble."
" What did he do to them?" Kate presses further.
The man looks between the two of you," He blew them up. One minute they were standing on their feet, the next their head would pop like a zit."
The imagery he created freaked you out more than you'd like to admit, "Thank you for letting us know."
He shook his head," If I were you ladies, I wouldn't go looking for trouble. Too pretty to be headless."
Those were his last words as he continued walking after that. Neither of you moved from that spot. Trying to process what he had told you.
Things had gotten extremely serious in your head. You had considered going back to the quinjet and telling Sam that you'd need back up for this mission.
However, you needed this mission to go better than any of the other missions you had been on with Kate. That was literally the reason why you were both here.
" Put these on," you passed Kate 2 ear plugs.
" Why?"
You sigh," If this guy doesn't have powers, then it's likely that he's using nanotech to get into people's heads. So we need to cover possible points of entry."
When you finally get to the building, it's a little ways from the actual town. You're on edge. Kate walks a little bit in front of you while you watch her back.
By the time you see the trip wire, it's too late. It's not the entire building that explodes, just a corner of it. A corner that was going to fall on Kate if you did not take action.
It felt like slow motion to you. You saw the building about to crumble on top of her, and you were quick to lock your arms around her and force her out of the way along with yourself.
Your breathing was heavy as you realized the girl in your arms could've died. Your front was pressed against her back, and you could feel her ragged breathing as well.
You didn't let go of her until a voice interrupted the tense moment.
" Hasn't anyone ever told you that trespassing is illegal," a man emerged from the intact part of the building, smiling sadistically at you two.
" Who are you and what do you want with this town?"
The man cackles," This town is insignificant to me. It's simply my playground where I can test my masterpieces."
" Then what is it that you want?"
" I'm going to blow up the world, literally. It almost feels trivial to call it a bomb, but my masterpiece will destroy everything. There will be nothing left of this world when I'm done with it."
You're scared, but you can't let him know that," What makes you think we'll let you do that?"
" You two? You won't be around to stop me."
You realize it a half a second too late as another explosion happens under your feet. You brace yourself as best you can to prepare for impact, but you feel a hand latch on to your arm.
With the strength you have left, you help her carry your weight and stop you from falling to your death.
" I just need 1 shot," you growl as you stand up.
Kate sees the look in your eyes. She has seen it before, and it never leads any more good for the person you're looking at.
" He has explosives, it could be dangerous," Kate stood with you.
" Kate, go call for backup and a bomb squad."
" I'm not le-"
" KATE GO," You yell at her with your eyes focused on the enemy.
Kate wanted to fight more, to argue with you again, to postpone this situation. Yet she knew you were making the right call, she had to trust you at this moment and she did.
She took off running. You saw the man reach for what you assumed to be an explosive detonator. It took less than a second for you to whip out your gun and shoot the device in his hand.
He screamed as the bullet grazed his hand, the debris from the device burning into the skin of his palm.
" The next shot will be through your head, if you don't call it quits now."
" I didn't want to get my hands dirty, but if I must," he approached you at his own speed.
It took everything in you not to charge at him. You knew he was baiting you. So you took a shot at the ground right by his feet.
" Well, you're smarter than you look, but not smart enough."
You felt yourself being restrained and forced to the ground. Whatever held you down had a tight grip on your skull. Its cold metal prongs were cold and sharp against your skull.
" Don't bother struggling against my invention. You'll never get up. I'll blow your mind, and then the brunette's."
The mention of Kate made you fight against the bot. It also made the mad scientist laugh.
" Aw, how pathetic. I'll tell her about this after you're gone. Now open" he violently grabbed your chin and shoved something in your mouth.
He slapped you across the face one last time before walking away from you," Any last words?"
You were shaking, sweating, and scared. For the first time in this interaction, you let your eyes water. This felt like the end.
You'd failed and it had cost you. The part that made the tears stream freely was the thought that you wouldn't be able to save Kate. She didn't deserve to die like this. You'd hope she stayed by the jet and waited for backup.
" Oh right, there's a bomb in your mouth. Silly me," you watched as he reached for the detonator. Time seemed like it had slowed down.
He flipped a few switches on the remote before getting ready to hit the button. You closed your eyes, waiting for it to be over. Yet your eyes shot open when you heard the man scream in agony.
There was an arrow through his hand. Then another came down and through his foot.
" I will shoot this shit through your head if you even think about grabbing that remote."
Your face was still against the gravel, but you knew who had just saved your life.
She walked toward him with her bow at the ready. She picked up the remote, and before she did anything else, she shot the robot that was pinning you to the ground.
The tight grip on your head was now loose and limp. You slowly began getting to your feet.
Kate handed you the detonator. You did the opposite of what you saw the man do and saw the green light on the device turn red. There was still some fear in your heart about removing the explosive from your mouth.
The man had a smug look on his face when he saw you struggle," Well I suppose if it's disarmed its harmless right? Maybe it's heat sensitive, maybe it's touch sensitive, who knows. The only way to find out is by removing it from your mouth."
" Shut the fuck up," Kate shot an arrow directly past his head, grazing his ear slightly.
" You're going to be ok. Just take it out and throw it as far as you can."
You looked at her and for the first time ever she saw genuine fear in your eyes.
" You have to trust me," the look in her eyes was something you could not debate.
You didn't hesitate, you dug into your mouth, removed the device and chucked it as far as you could. It didn't land anywhere, instead it exploded in the air. It wasn't significantly sized on the outside. However, you knew if had gone off in your mouth you would've died.
You walked up to the man and pressed the butt of the gun into his temple. There was nothing more you wanted to do than blow his head off. Your chest heaved up and down.
The man laughed," Kill me then. I dare you."
You cocked the gun and your finger rested on the trigger.
" Y/n don't," Kate tried to reason with you.
You couldn't look at her, you'd fold if you did," He deserves it, Kate. You should've heard the shit he was saying."
" That's not for us to decide, Y/n."
You began to shake," Why not?"
Then the scientist laughed again, and that sent you over the edge. You took a small step back and fired the gun.
The scream you let out was primal. It ripped through your throat. It hurt more than you could ever imagine.
The bullet had taken the man's ear. His screams were nothing compared to yours.
Kate hugged you from behind as your legs began to fail you. With her arms around you, she kept her bow and arrow raised at the man.
Sam was confused at the sight when the backup finally arrived. The scientist was cuffed and taken in as other special forces handled the damaged building.
When the scientist was gone, Kate dropped her bow, but her arms stayed around you. Sam began to approach the two of you, but Kate signaled him to stay back.
" Y/n, talk to me," her breath was a whisper against your ear.
" I'm sorry," you said, trying hurriedly to get to your feet.
You didn't get too far before Kate yanked you back into her embrace.
" You saved my life, there's nothing to be sorry about," she gave you a small smile.
" But I-"
Kate shook you a bit," You didn't kill him so, it doesn't matter. He was trying to blow your head off."
" You saved my life too."
Kate nodded slowly," I did, you saved me first though."
" I was terrified, Kate. When he said he was going to kill you, I- I never felt that helpless," you were causing yourself anxiety just speaking about the moment.
Kate didn't hesitate to rest her hand on the side of your face, forcing you to look at her," I'm right here, Y/n. A few scratches and a few bruises, but I'm ok. Without your reflexes or your decision-making skills, I don't know if I would be standing here right now."
" Kate," your eyes accidentally drop to her lips.
" Fuck it," Kate muttered before surging forward and placing her lips on yours.
You kissed her back and it felt right. It felt like Kate was your other half. There was no competition anymore; just you and Kate.
" Well, I see you got the teamwork all handled," Sam spoke, causing the two of you to separate.
" We almost died on this mission. Our teamwork was fine before. The trauma we have is-"
Kate had more to say, but Y/n grabbed her hand," We're good."
" But-"
" Everyone is safe, the bad guy is behind bars, and now we get to go home; together."
Kate huffed and dropped her shoulders," Fine, but we're dealing with this together then."
" There's no one I'd rather tackle my demons with," you couldn't help but sound cheesy.
" Good, because you're stuck with me now in more ways than just coworkers."
You smirked," I'd gladly be stuck with you any way you'd have me."
Sam cleared his throat with a smile on his face," Ok, you guys are free to go. I'll wrap it up here."
Your hand never left Kate's as you walked back to the jet. Nor did it leave when you both strapped in for the ride. It was at that moment that you decided that you'd do whatever was necessary to hold on to Kate.
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wolveria · 2 years ago
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The Raven’s Hymn - Ch 29
Pairing: SCP-049 x Reader
Series Warnings (18+ only): Eventual smut, dubcon, slow burn, violence, horror, death, monsters, human experiments, dark with a happy ending
Chapter Summary: "You... you have to stop doing this, 049."
Additional Fic Rec: The Corvid Paean
AO3
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049 remained silent as he worked to untie the rope binding your hands together. You also didn’t speak, trying to catch your breath and slow your heart. Your limbs shook, your mind a scattered mess, and you suspected you were more upset about this than 049 was.
Perhaps he noticed.
“You are angry with me.”
You pressed your lips together, waiting for 049 to finish pulling apart the rope, rubbing your wrist once it was free. The skin was irritated, chaffed from the force of his lunge at Dr. Puli.
The SCP’s eyes softened as he reached toward the mild injury.
His arm hung in the air as you backed out of reach.
“You… you have to stop doing this, 049.”
“Please, specify.”
Still rubbing your wrist, you frowned at him.
“You know what I mean. You have to stop forcing your cure on people.”
049 gathered himself, head raised at a dignified angle.
“It is my duty as a doctor—”
“No!” You took a step forward. “That was not a duty. That was an assault! You-you have complete tunnel vision when it comes to the Pestilence, and you see nothing else!”
049’s head tilted, his own gaze searching yours for understanding.
“It is my purpose for being. There is nothing but the war against the Pestilence.”
You seethed through your teeth, the sound coming out like the warning hiss of an animal.
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You don’t act like a physician, you act like a soldier. You carry out orders only you can hear, against an enemy only you can see, and you leave a trail of bodies in your wake!”
You were panting by this point, the adrenaline reawakening in your veins, and something took hold of you: a conviction that you were on the right track, an intuition that you were close to achieving the truth.
You gathered a breath, bracing yourself.
“Do you even know what the Pestilence is?”
049’s eyes narrowed into dangerous slits.
“I’ve seen the interview tapes. You refuse to give anyone a straight answer. What the Pestilence is, what its symptoms are, where it comes from, how it can be cured. You won’t even explain your own cure or admit what you do is lethal.”
He remained quiet.
“I could look past all of it,” you quietly said. “The obsession, the stubbornness, the pride. Except you refuse to acknowledge it. You refuse to admit that before me, nothing you touched survived. You kill and call it a cure.”
049’s fists clenched at his sides, but he still said nothing, his gaze intent on your face. He may not have moved, but he was breathing faster than normal. A sign you perhaps should have heeded.
“It’s why your followers never stayed.” Your words grew bitter and jagged, surprising even yourself. “They knew the path you walked wasn’t one of science. It was madness. Zealotry and fanaticism. Righteousness in the form of a crusade, and you slaughtered anyone who didn’t take up your banner.”
Your throat ached, and you tried to blink away the burning of your eyes.
“Pernella saw it. She knew to follow you was to follow death, but she did it anyway, because she believed in your convictions. Right up until she couldn’t ignore the truth about you.”
“Stop.”
He spoke the word without force, almost like a plea. But you didn’t stop.
“It doesn’t matter whether the Pestilence is real or not, or if it’s just as dangerous as you say. Because the danger you pose is very real.”
“Desist,” he said, louder this time.
“And when she stood up to you, you couldn’t accept it. Her denial forced you to look at yourself, and instead of facing your actions, you killed her. That’s why you couldn’t bring her back. You didn’t cure her, you murdered her in cold blood—”
“Enough!”
049 moved close, looming over you as his eyes burned bright and feverish. For a moment, you thought he might simply end it. Strangle the life out of you until there was nothing left. Instead, his voice was oddly breathless.
“Speak… no more of this.”
You stared at him for a long moment, breathing hard while he did the same. It would have been intimate, sharing the same breaths as him, but the atmosphere between you was stifled and charged.
“I need to know.” You were still breathless, as if he truly had stolen all your air. “If I got sick again, and your touch no longer healed me… would you kill me?”
The emotions in his eyes slowly receded, until a blank, sterile coldness took its place.
“There are things worse than death.”
Whatever response you had died in your throat. You turned away from him, eyes stinging with unshed tears you didn’t want him to see, and you retreated to the only place you could. You laid down on the bed, facing the wall as you turned your back to him.
Despite wanting to shut him out, you could still hear his quiet breathing, uneven and ragged. After a moment, he migrated to the desk, the soft creak of the chair indicating he was sitting, but you heard nothing else. No scratch of the pen and no turn of a page.
Remorse crept into your heart like an unwanted weed, choking off the righteous anger that had fueled your words. It had felt good at the time, as conviction always did, but throwing Pernella’s death in his face didn’t sit well. Even if 049 had killed her, he couldn’t help what he was, a fact you’d forgotten. Or perhaps not forgotten, but ignored, lured by his soothing voice, his kind eyes. His humanity.
But 049 wasn’t human. He would never be human, and you’d needed another harsh lesson that he would always put his self-proclaimed duty first, before himself and especially before you.
You closed your eyes, willing sleep to take you, but your weariness wouldn’t let you rest. You weren’t willing to give up on 049 just yet. Even if he couldn’t change, even if this was who he would be long after your lifetime, you’d gone through too much to set that aside now.
After all, 049 wasn’t the only one who could fight for a lost cause.
***
You woke with a headache, the result of not resting well, but you couldn’t pinpoint what had awoken you. The room was silent, the lights dimmed, and the heaviness of your limbs told you that hours had passed.
It was too quiet.
Bolting upright, you went still at the bent figure at the desk. 049 sat with his eyes cast downwards, his gaze on the desk without truly fixing on it, and he barely seemed to breathe.
The inner containment door was open, and the slide tray clinking open meant it was breakfast. But food was far from your mind at the unnerving display of stillness. It reminded you too much of when you’d first started observing the SCP. Dr. Puli had called it a dormancy stage.
There was nothing dormant about the hunch of his shoulders or the defeated bow of his head.
You left the inner containment chamber without speaking, taking the tray of oatmeal and strawberries, eating without tasting. As much as you wanted to apologize, you needed a little time and distance to lick your wounds and gain perspective. Maybe 049 would appreciate some time to himself. Telling yourself that eased the guilt, anyway.
You ate quietly in the middle room, not expecting 049 to want the company, so you were surprised when he emerged as you finished your meal.
“I wish to clarify a point of discussion.”
“Okay,” you said slowly, keeping your gaze safely near his boots. “What?”
When he didn’t speak for a moment, you looked up. 049’s attention was fixed on the far wall, his posture stiff.
“In regard to your question… it is a moot one. You cannot be reinfected with the Pestilence. Your very essence repels the disease, keeping it at bay. I am unsure why you were infected to start, but… you are clean. And I suspect, you will always remain clean.”
If you were supposed to know what that meant, it was lost on you.
“That’s not the point.”
He finally looked at you.
“I do not understand.”
“I wanted to know if you were capable of changing. If… if I had changed you.” You let out a breath, embarrassment creeping up your neck in a wave of heat. “It was a stupid question. A selfish one. An SCP can’t change. It’s not in your nature… no matter how much I might wish otherwise.”
There was confusion in his eyes, but a sort of focused intent too. He stepped forward, but the intercom clicked live.
“SCP-049, please return to the inner containment chamber.” A pause. “SCP-6830, remain in the middle containment chamber.”
It wasn’t Leahy. It was Kenneth. And those instructions meant one of two things: they were either going to take you away for testing, or they were going to separate you permanently.
049’s gaze turned sharp and worried, and you gave him your own bewildered look. You didn’t want this to be the last words you spoke to him, but as you opened your mouth, the intercom clicked again.
“This is your last warning, SCP-049.”
The words were given with a hint of nerves rather than authority, but that’s what Kenneth was like, always skittish around the humanoid SCPs. You didn’t know why he was even in the Cryptopsychology department, but now that you were no longer a junior researcher, they were probably short-staffed.
You pressed your lips together, whatever you were going to tell 049 remaining unsaid. The SCP didn’t seethe at you being taken away, nor did he fight or threaten. He didn’t even resist besides lingering those last few seconds, giving you a soft gaze you couldn’t meet for long.
It was easier this way, you told yourself as you stared at the far corner near the main containment doors. They were going to take you away eventually, and it was better that 049 didn’t fight back and get hurt again.
The excuses were all very well and good, but they didn’t do a damn thing for the regret. You flinched as the inner containment doors closed behind you, and when the security team put you in shackles and escorted you out, you immediately wanted to turn around and run back inside.
You thought you’d be taken to your new cell. You were wrong. The security team led you to the Biohazard Zone of Humanoid Heavy Containment, a place where an anomaly of your type didn’t belong.
Your stomach churned as your throat tightened at the familiar halls; you had walked them many times before during your previous occupation. Though you were confident SCPs no longer had the ability to kill you, they’d proven they could certainly harm you, and this particular SCP was skilled in inflicting untold amounts of damage.
Your entourage of security guards was replaced by two men in thick hazmat gear. They removed your manacles, leaving you only in your white smock as they led you through three different airlocks. The last one, you entered alone. No instructions given.
The remaining airlock opened, and you stepped inside the containment chamber. It was empty, save for a pedestal in the middle. A hermetically sealed glass case on a platform, locked by a remote mechanism.
Inside sat an object so innocuous in appearance that no one outside the Foundation would believe the horror that could be wrought by this single mask. Its white ceramic surface gleamed in the florescent lighting, a fixed smile greeting you like an old friend.
Next Chapter
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 7 months ago
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HIII I KNOW. A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ANNIHILATION. PERIPHERALLY. ive seen like part of it but i do NOT remember much. except that its one of the prettiest movies ive ever seen. that being said im so eyes emoji abt ur au..... r there any specific scenes frm the movie ur thinking about?? how would the character dynamics differ from either canon?? etc etc etc!!!
GOD I FUCKING LOOOOOVE ANNIHILATION. ONE OF MY TOP 5 FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME EVER. yes yes yes yes yes OK. so this is. all encompassing crossover jrwi au which means I'm pulling characters from different campaigns. which. usually im not a huge fan of but i think i pulled it off rlly well in a limited sense here bc i have very specific reasoning behind why i put each character where. u will know at least two of them and they WILL cause you psychic damage so trust me when i say the other ones will too. putting this under a cut bc im gonna ramble
BASICALLYYYYY it's gonna follow the plot of the movie pretty closely just with slightly altered character dynamics + each of their reasons for going into the shimmer. so each person on the Current Team has lost someone on a previous expedition, and basically all of them are trying to find answers for what happened to their loved ones.
im gonna talk mainly about the ones you know because youll understand where I'm coming from the best with them but just know I am OBSESSED w the roles I have put gillion and chip in here. god I miss riptide every day .
DAKOTA COLE AS ANYA. Anya is the retired paramedic !! she's the one that. hold everything. gets killed by the fucked up bear. smile. that was just a fun little coincidence for me . ORIGINALLY I was dead set on having the pd representative be william bc im biased and I love him but after rewatching the movie I just think dakota fits in anyas place so perfectly. she's the most outgoing of the group, she's the one that initially invites Lena to join their team (also side note there is a pre-existing dynamic between dakota and chip because they've had MULTIPLE interactions in various what if crossover episodes and their dynamic is one of my favorite things ever). she's also the most aggressive. she's the first one to snap into action mode after finding the body in the pool, she's the one to take josie away from it and has a very protective stance over josie for the rest of the time after that (this is going to be relevant i am gonna talk about josie next) . once the group starts arguing about whether they want to continue further into the shimmer, anya shifts into a VERY black and white mentality, pinning ventress as The Bad Guy immediately for wanting to continue. and then when Lena shows some hesitancy over what she wants to do, anya snaps into a "youre either with me or against me" mindset. she also has this growing sense of paranoia ever since they find the tape of what appears to be the previous crew killing each other, and after she learns Lena is lying to them about her connection with Kane she goes way overboard with tying them to chairs and threatening to kill them. while i don't think dakota would necessarily go that far I DID say this to jonesy when we were rewatching the movie together so. bfu connecting two dots meme
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anyway i think dakota is in the shimmer looking for william AND vyncent. parallels to the "dakota leaves for 10 months without telling them" which is why the three of them would be separated in the first place. william somehow finds out about the southern reach and his draw toward a mystery is what causes him to join the first expedition. vyncent goes with him because he can sense it's dangerous (and basically a suicide mission) and doesn't want william to go alone. I have. ideas. for what happens to them in the shimmer but they are vague at best right now and even then. dakota never finds out what happens to them before he's killed by the bear. the bear uses their voices to draw him out btw. smile. he dies protecting thr rest of the group even immediately after his paranoid breakdown.
OK THAT GOT LONG. OOPS. ONTO THE SECOND ONE
SHILO AS JOSIE. ohhhhh josie radek one of my favorite characters in media of all time. God I love her so much. anyway she's the only one of the current expedition with no previous combat training, so she's often seen by the rest of them as someone who needs to be protected. if I'm remembering correctly she's also the youngest. (in this. au. dakota would be older than shilo. feels better in my mind. none of them would be Kids they'd all be adults at this point but I'd put shilo in early 20s and dakota maybe in mid 20s. so . still young.) shilo is in the shimmer looking for his twin brother who went missing. somehow he was able to track down the southern reach and find out emizel was part of a previous expedition, and desperately wants to get him back. he's the one with the LEAST amount of knowledge going into the shimmer. he doesn't realize it's a suicide mission. he just wants his brother back. anyway when they get to the first outpost they find the remnants of the first team's base of operations, with names on a guard patrol rotation and leftover weapons and. a video camera. with a tape in a plastic bag labeled "for those who follow". josie is the one holding the camera when they watch it. the tape shows members of the previous party in the abandoned pool, one guy tied to a chair while the others cut open his abdomen to show his intestines moving around like snakes or worms. in the movie, the guy who cuts him open is Kane, Lena's husband. the rest of the party doesn't know her connection to kane, and she knows now if she tells them they won't trust her (and is proven correct by this when anya eventually finds out her connection) ANYWAY I'm going off track. sorry this is my favorite scene in the whole movie I get distracted. ANYWAY so when they see this, josie is the most immediately horrified by it because she's the only one who hasn't seen anything as gruesome as that before. for shilo. well. he gets to see the one being cut open is emizel. and then later when they get to the pool and find the body still there (again. josie is the one to find this. she's also the one who reaches down into the old dirty water and accidentally picks up the knife. which was still left in the same place they saw it be dropped in the tape) corpse plastered to the wall by all kinds of multicolored fungus and lichen, I think shilo doesn't immediately break down, he doesn't really. process it right away. I mean it's completely unrecognizable. it's not until he accidentally picks up the knife that it all clicks into place in his mind and he realizes "that thing right there used to be my fucking brother" and completely shuts down. runs out of the complex, dakota has to chase him down because they all know its dangerous to go anywhere alone, etc. after this he loses any sense of purpose, the only reason he came into the shimmer in the first place was to get emizel back and now seeing what happened I think he just gets. hopeless. which is the beginning of the end for him . i haven't decided if his exact death is the same as josies but i want it to be peaceful in the same sort of way. "imagine dying frightened and in pain and having that be the only part of you which survives... i wouldnt like that at all" "ventress wants to face it.. you want to fight it... im not sure i want either of those things...." josie radek i am in love with you. anyway. annihilation pool scene for you because I love this image more than anything
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dragonflight203 · 10 months ago
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Mass Effect 2 replay, squad post Mordin:
Jacob
-Jacob gets the armor upgrade for the Normandy by pulling favors with the Alliance. And now we know why TIM recruited him.
-Talking to Jacob as femshep is hard. Any line can be a flirtation – paragon, renegade, neutral.
The worst part is that Jacob doesn’t seem interested. Any time you flirt, he shuts you down. At least in ME1 Ashley and Kaidan returned the interest.
-I find it interesting people dislike Jacob because he doesn’t open up. As someone who normally remains professional myself at work, that’s never bothered me.
That’s the same vibe I get from Jacob – friendly, attempting to be helpful, but maintaining boundaries to keep personal and professional life separate.
-I do disagree with Jacob’s stance on politics and bureaucracy. He seems convinced in every conversation for the Alliance to do good because it engages them.
Dude was a corsair working for the Alliance unofficially and still complained that there was too much red tape.
Meanwhile, I’m looking at Omega and remembering the “rogue cells” of Cerberus from ME1 and wondering how he can not see the value in oversight and power checks.
-Why was Jacob sidelined after Eden Prime? He says this like it’s an obvious fact and I can’t recall if he ever told me what he had to do with the colony.
-If you go renegade, one of Jacob’s line is that the “General public never knew you were dead”. What?
There are news announcements on the Citadel dead about how the deceased Commander Shepard has been seen on Omega. There’s a memorial on Akuze to Shepard.
I’m going to credit this as a left over line when the plot of ME2 was different, but it’s very weird.
-If you go paragon, one of Shepard’s lines is “Couldn’t hurt to keep some spare parts handy.”
Given that we learn Ceberus had a clone for that exact purpose in ME3… Oof.
Mordin
-Mordin tells you all about how he found bugs all over the labs. Another reminder that Shepard is constantly being watched.
-He tells you to find more collector data and tissue samples.
I think at one point there would be a main mission related to that.
As others have noted, an insect from a collector swarm miraculously appears on the ship when Mordin tells you he found a cure. This line was probably supposed to be foreshadowing of the mission that would have collected the insect.
-Mordin really enjoys a challenge. Describing the limitations he had to work with on Omega reminds me of devs describing the challenges they had in developing a program.
-At this point Mordin only speaks about krogans hypothetically overcoming the genophage, and that his work with the STG was just to prepare militarily for it. He doesn’t trust Shepard enough yet to describe his real work.
-He is very insistent that the genophage is not a sterility plague. It just restores the krogan growth rate to what it was pre industry.
Miranda
-As opposed to Jacob, as soon as Miranda gets the slightest hint of friendliness she opens up.
I think this has more to do with their backgrounds than their characters. Jacob’s spent time in the Alliance where professionalism is expected. He knows he’s working with a sketchy group and is accordingly wary.
Miranda’s accustomed to being treated poorly. She whole heartedly believes in Cerberus and its cause. She tells Shepard her past almost as if she feels the need to make sure Shepard knows what she really is before she can accept Shepard’s friendship. She wants Shepard’s respect, but doesn’t think she deserves it.
Ironically, I suppose the reason Jacob’s more closed off is because he has a higher sense of self worth than Miranda does. He doesn’t feel the need to be validated by Shepard.
-As others have said: One successful mission and Miranda is saying that this is the best Cerberus operation she’s been part of.
That does not speak well of Cerberus.
-Whether you go paragon or renegade, Miranda doesn’t hesitate to remind you that TIM’s in charge. She has quite a journey to go before she’ll be ready to tell him to fuck off.
-Why did Miranda’s father want a daughter for dynasty?
Usually that type specifically want sons.
Every reason I can think of makes the man worse and explains why Miranda is so careful in how she speaks about him and insistent on why she had to get her sister away.
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epinebleue · 9 hours ago
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wicked (m) | 01
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A wave of shock rolled over you, followed by a surge of gratitude. The boy had been disgusting, his touch violating, and in that moment, the justice of seeing him knocked down was almost cathartic. You hadn’t asked for it, but Leon had taken control, he had done something. Your arm still ached, but somehow, it didn’t feel as heavy now. You felt like you were no longer entirely vulnerable, like there was someone standing between you and the dangers of the world.
pairing: yuta “leon” nakamoto x reader
genre: mafia!au, angst, mature.
warnings: swearing, depiction of violence, illegal acts (selling and using drugs).
author’s note: y’all! i haven’t posted anything related to nct in MONTHS but we’re so back! as always, feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰
chapter index | next chapter
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The first time you stepped through the Cherry Lips’ door, all you had was a blue sports bag slung over your shoulder and a handful of coins in your pocket. You had wandered into the club by chance while searching for a new place to sleep, no longer feeling safe in the bustling areas of Seoul. The streets were full of drunks and rowdy, violent people. You had seen two neon red cherries glowing from afar, their light cutting through the darkness like a beacon, drawing you in. A white piece of paper taped to the glass announced the club was looking for a new bartender. Without a second thought, you entered.
You had worked at a club for nine months before, so you were hopeful your experience would be enough for the job.
Inside, the club lounge was sleek and seductive. A rich crimson carpet covered the floor, and geometric-patterned wallpaper adorned the walls. Golden frames displayed photographs of young girls blowing kisses. On the left, the bar beckoned, with its mirrored wall and shelves stocked with hundreds of bottles. Ahead, a semi-circular stage stood, its golden paint gleaming beneath the red satin curtains that obscured whatever was behind. Tables were scattered around, arranged to give the best views of the stage.
You called out a greeting, and before you could even look around further, the sound of high heels echoed from a narrow hallway beside the stage. A few seconds later, a woman appeared. She seemed to be in her late thirties, was taller than you and had her dark brown hair tied back in a neat ponytail that cascaded down her back. Every time she moved, her hair followed. You took in her white suit and black stilettos, the heels clicking sharply with each step.
“Evening, miss.” You said, trying to sound as respectful as possible. “I saw the notice about needing a new bartender.”
“What’s your name, dear?” She asked, extending her hand, which you shook firmly as you answered. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Kahi, the owner.”
She turned toward a narrow hallway. You trailed behind her, noting two doors at the end of it. Kahi reached one of them and held it open for you to enter. You sat down in front of a desk, leaving your bag on the floor, and took in the sparse decor: white walls, dark wood furniture, no pictures. So different from what you had seen outside.
She sat behind the desk and pulled a single sheet of white paper from a drawer. She wrote your name on it.
“How old are you?” You answered with honesty, and she seemed surprised. “Any experience in waitressing?”
“I worked for nine months as a bartender at a nightclub called Neon Fever. I have a recommendation letter, if you’d like to see it.”
"Yes, please.” She extended her hand, palm up, in your direction, and you quickly pulled the letter from your bag to hand it to her. She skimmed through it before looking back up at you. “Were you fired?”
“I quit.” You were quick to correct, fingers fidgeting nervously under the desk. “The work environment wasn’t great.”
Kahi took another look at the letter before handing it back to you with a deep sigh.
“I know that club. If you worked there, you could work anywhere.” You nodded, not sure whether to feel proud or disheartened by her words. “You’re young, you’re attractive, you’ve got experience, and you’re in need of a job. I need you to start tonight, so, if you want it, it’s yours.”
“Of course, of course I can do that.” You said, your voice shaky despite your best efforts to remain composed. You slipped the letter back into your dirty, almost ripped bag, which rested on your thighs. Kahi glanced at it. “Thank you so much, miss.”
Kahi seemed to hesitate for a moment, then asked: “I don’t mean to sound nosy, but do you have a place to sleep tonight?”
Her question hit you like a cold splash of water. Should you lie? Would she take it into account? You shook your head slowly, embarrassed.
“Not really, miss.”
She stood up and walked towards the other door in the hallway. You grabbed your bag and followed her up a small flight of stairs to another hallway, narrower than the one downstairs, with five doors. Kahi knocked on the second on the right before opening it.
A young pink-haired girl greeted you both from the inside of the room.
“This is Pinky.” Kahi said. “Pinky, meet our new bartender.”
Pinky waved as you stepped into the room. It was cozy enough, with a closet and two single beds, one of which you claimed by dropping your bag onto the bare mattress.
Kahi explained the tasks you would’ve to carry out in the club and how a part of your salary would be exclusively destined to pay for the room. You tried your best not to let your overwhelming sense of relief distract you, but it seemed impossible.
You no longer had to sleep in the street. Well, at least while you worked here. It wasn’t ideal, but it was a start. Plus, you now had someone to talk to, which you had sorely missed.
It felt like a new beginning.
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It was a busy night. Raina had been sick for two days, and the absence of a waitress forced you to step in. Of course, as if the universe had sensed your extra workload, the club filled up quickly, making everything harder. To make matters worse, none of the orders were simple.
“Babe, table five wants a well-loaded daiquiri.” Nana’s voice cut through the chaos as you returned from delivering drinks to table three.
“Right on it.” You quickly moved behind the bar, grabbing a glass and rummaging through the ice bin.
Nana disappeared with a tray full of drinks prepared by Kaeun, your assistant bartender. Kaeun was decent, but there was one thing she lacked: speed. Thankfully, she was a quick learner. It was a relief to have someone helping, even if it didn’t ease all the pressure.
You finished the daiquiri and placed it on the tray next to the rest of the orders. With your right hand, you grabbed the tray and headed toward table five.
The man there was different. Most customers came for the girls dancing, the drinks, even the music. He didn’t seem interested in any of it. He sat back, his left ankle resting over his right knee, eyes glued to his phone. When you set the daiquiri down in front of him, his brown bangs fell over his eyes as he lifted his gaze to meet yours.
“Thanks.” His voice was low, but polite. He slid his phone into the pocket of his blazer. You gave him a faint smile, ready to move on to your next task. But then he spoke again. “Excuse me?”
You stopped, turning back toward him. “Yes, sir?”
“Do you know if Kahi is around tonight?”
You hesitated. You hadn’t seen Kahi all evening, which was odd. She usually made rounds, keeping things running smoothly. “I’ll check. Can I have your name?”
“Tell her Leon’s here. Thanks.”
You nodded and left, the questions already starting to form in your mind. Why was he asking for Kahi? Was he a new lover, maybe? As far as you knew, she didn’t date, and no one had ever mentioned a “Leon”.
It was three a.m. and most customers were drunk, lost in the spectacle of Pinky performing in a Snow White costume for Disney Princess Night. You smirked slightly at the memory of the costume drama that morning: Roa, dressed as Ariel, grumbling about Yuha claiming Cinderella’s gown.
Once the orders were served, you returned to the bar, placing the empty tray on the counter and telling Kaeun you needed to find Kahi. She looked concerned, reluctant to be left alone behind the bar, but you promised it wouldn’t take long.
When you knocked on Kahi’s office door, no answer came. You knocked again, feeling a little foolish.
“Kahi? You in there?” You called, your voice a little quieter this time. After a few seconds, you heard movement inside. The door creaked open.
The sight of Kahi stunned you. Her usually neat ponytail had loose strands falling around her face. She wasn’t wearing her jacket, and her shirt had two buttons undone. Dark circles shadowed her eyes, and the papers piled up on her desk were a clear sign of stress.
“There’s a man outside. He says he wants to see you. Leon.”
At the mention of his name, Kahi’s expression shifted, her posture tense. You hadn’t expected such a visible reaction.
“Did he say anything else?” Kahi asked, her voice tight.
“No. Just that he wanted to see you.”
She sighed and straightened up. “Alright. Tell him I’ll be right there, please.”
You walked back to the lounge, your mind racing with questions. He clearly wasn’t a lover. Otherwise, she would have reacted differently at the mention of his name.
Back at the bar, Kaeun handed you another tray full of drinks. You tried to push the thoughts away and focus. After serving the drinks, you made your way back to table five, where Leon was once again absorbed in his phone.
“Sir.” You called out loud to get his attention. “Kahi will be here soon.”
He thanked you, his voice almost absent, before returning to his phone.
You couldn’t help but notice Kahi’s movements when she finally appeared. Her jacket was back on, her hair tightly pulled back, and the faintest hint of make-up covered the bags under her eyes.
The powerful boss was back in control.
Leon greeted her with a smile, but something about it felt off. It wasn’t warm. It wasn’t genuine. It seemed rather cynical.
The night dragged on. There was a brief disturbance when a drunken man screamed obscene things at Yuha during her performance, but Baekho swiftly handled it.
You kept an eye on Kahi and Leon, noticing how uncomfortable Kahi seemed in his presence, fidgeting, avoiding eye contact. Meanwhile, Leon looked right at home: relaxed, calm, almost smug.
Around five a.m., the club started to empty. The few remaining customers paid their bills, including Leon. He flashed you a smile as he left.
Kahi approached the bar.
“Everything okay?” You asked.
She gave you a half-smile but didn’t answer. Instead, she handed you a card. “Everything’s fine.”
You looked at the card in confusion. There was a name, Nakamoto Yuta, and a phone number written in bold black ink.
“Who’s Nakamoto Yuta?”
Kahi didn’t meet your eyes as she turned away. “His business name’s Leon. He wanted you to have his personal number. Said you caught his attention.”
You blinked, the implications of her words slowly sinking in. She left, and you stared at the card, your mind swirling. You could throw it away. Forget about him. But something about Leon, a dark, elusive presence, kept nagging at you.
Kaeun’s voice interrupted your thoughts, and you quickly shoved the card into the back pocket of your faux leather pants.
You’d figure it out later.
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“It’s strange.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I mean, he talks to you once, then just hands over his phone number? That’s a little… unsettling.” Pinky shook her head, placing the card on the nightstand between your beds. “Sounds like a stalker, honestly.”
“To be fair, it’s a shame.” You muttered, sinking into your covers. “He’s pretty damn good-looking.”
“What does he look like? You never really said.”
You rested your head on the pillow, Leon’s image floating to the forefront of your mind as you began to describe him to Pinky: black hair, long bangs that partially covered his dark eyes. He had that presence about him that made him impossible to ignore.
“But more importantly, he was asking for Kahi.”
“Maybe they’re old friends?” Pinky shrugged nonchalantly. She wasn’t particularly interested, but you pressed on, needing to get your thoughts out.
“I don’t think so.” You closed your eyes, trying to push the thoughts away, but they only swirled more. “When she heard his name, she totally freaked out. If he were just an old friend, why would she react like that?”
“I don’t know... but Kahi’s been acting weird lately, way before he appeared.”
Pinky pulled down her black sleep mask, signaling the end of the conversation. You grabbed your book from the nightstand, trying to focus on the words, but your mind kept drifting back to him. Leon’s voice, his gaze, the way he carried himself. You read the same line over and over, frustrated, before closing the book and setting it aside. You turned off the light, trying to quiet your thoughts.
Like Pinky, you eventually drifted off to sleep. But he was still there, in the back of your mind.
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“A what?”
“A girls’ night.” Shannon repeated eagerly. “Come on, join us! We haven’t had one in ages.”
You set the glass you were drying down on the counter, meeting your friend’s hopeful eyes.
“I don’t know... I’m not really in the mood.”
You spent six nights a week in a chaotic, lust-filled environment, dealing with drunk customers and the constant buzz of the bar. The last thing you wanted on your one night off was to step into a place just like the Cherry Lips.
“Wouldn’t you like to be the customer for once?” Shannon persisted, jumping up and down. You didn’t even look at her this time.
“What I really want is something different. Maybe a park, a movie, or going to a café…” You muttered, continuing your task of drying the glasses.
Shannon sighed, leaning on the counter. She lowered her voice.
“Okay, fine! I’ll just be honest. I met a guy last night and he invited me to this place, but Kahi says I can’t go unless you come with me. She doesn’t trust him, but she trusts you because you’re responsible.”
You frowned at Shannon’s words. Kahi had never told you what to do in your free time, so why was she suddenly acting like a mother, deciding you had to tag along for Shannon’s date? You weren’t the only responsible one, Nayoung and Roa were too.
Despite the annoyance, you knew you’d end up going. It was always the same: you didn’t want to hang out with the girls, then ended up having a great time. Still, it irked you to be forced into it, as if you were being expected to keep an eye on everyone.
Shannon called your name, snapping her fingers in front of your face. “Are you still with us?”
“Yeah, sorry.” You smiled, snapping out of your thoughts. “I’ll go with you.”
Shannon squealed, thanked you, and darted off upstairs. You continued your work, but your mind wandered to Leon again. It had been nearly a week since he’d visited, and sometimes, you found yourself glancing at the entrance, hoping he would show up. Each time the door opened, your heart would race, only to be disappointed when it wasn’t him.
You hated how obsessed you’d become with him. You’d barely seen him once, yet there was something magnetic about him that kept drawing you in. More than once, you found yourself almost calling him, but fear stopped you. What if he didn’t remember you? Or worse, what if he’d lost interest? Pinky caught onto your obsession immediately and laughed at you every chance she got. You eventually decided to let it go, but a part of you still yearned for something to happen.
The girls’ night arrived, and the outfit she picked out made you feel like a mother hen. She was dressed provocatively, and you couldn’t help but feel uneasy. It wasn’t that the dress was inherently bad, but considering how young she was, you couldn’t shake the worry that the boy she was seeing only wanted to use her and then move on.
At eleven o’clock, you bid the other girls goodbye as they played UNO with Baekho and Minhyun. The taxi was already waiting. Shannon climbed in first, you followed, and Pinky was the last, closing the door behind her.
“You still haven’t told me how you met this mystery guy, Shan.” You said, breaking the silence. Shannon was busy fixing her lipstick, so Pinky answered for her.
“You don’t know? It’s such a romantic story!” Pinky said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“His father took him to the club to celebrate his twenty-first birthday.”
“Wait, it’s that guy?!” You laughed, incredulous. “He’s not even good-looking!”
“For your information, the lighting was pretty bad that day.”
Shannon kept on, trying to defend her date, telling you how the guy had approached her after her performance to compliment her. Lacking experience with men, Shannon had been the one to suggest going out. The whole story sounded a bit pathetic, but who were you to judge?
You were in no position to criticize.
It didn’t take long to get to the club, and when you arrived, a long line of people stood waiting to get in. Shannon walked up to the giant doorman, who checked the VIP list.
“He said we’re on it.” Shannon explained as the man looked for your names, opening the door for you once he found them.
The club was nothing like Cherry Lips. The lights were neon and pulsed in red hues, while a spotlight illuminated the bar. The crowd was younger, full of people your age, laughing, dancing, and enjoying themselves. The whole atmosphere was freeing. There were no creepy, older men leering at you. You realized, for the first time, how much you hated the Cherry Lips environment.
Shannon found her date quickly, hidden in a corner of the VIP area, surrounded by sofas. If it wasn’t for Pinky, you would have felt like a third wheel, as Shannon and the guy immersed themselves in their own world.
As you sipped your drink, some of the guy’s friends offered you a round of rainbow shots. The night was moving along smoothly until Shannon came back, her hair tousled. Pinky teased her about it, but all you could feel was the intense, unsettling gaze of one of the boy’s friends.
When Pinky went to grab another drink, he took that as his chance to approach you. Things escalated fast. His hands on your waist were a stark reminder of the discomfort you often felt at Cherry Lips. His body pressed too close, and the bulge in his pants made you freeze with anger.
You shoved him away, but he grabbed your arm, leaving marks on your skin.
“Are you out of your mind?!” You yelled, even though you weren’t sure he could hear you over the music.
Before you could process what was happening, your back collided with someone. You turned around, ready to apologize, but words died in your throat.
Leon stood there, his eyes fixed on the boy in front of you. It looked like he was ready to kill him.
The dim neon lights reflected off his dark hair. He was wearing a tight shirt that hugged his chest, and the sleeves were rolled up, showing off his veiny forearms.
The boy before you shot Leon a confused look, but you could see how much fear he was radiating. You wanted to punch the guy, but the anger inside you was nothing compared to Leon’s quiet, dangerous presence.
“Thank goodness you’re here.” You said, wrapping your arms around Leon. He gave you a questioning glance, but when you spoke again, he seemed to understand. “Love, look what this animal did to me.” You gestured to the mark on your arm.
“I think… this has been a misunderstanding.” The boy stammered, raising his hands. Leon stepped closer, his towering form making the boy visibly shrink.
“You calling her a liar?” Leon’s voice was calm but laced with threat.
“What? No, of course not.” The boy mumbled, backing away.
“Good. You might want to leave.” Leon took another step forward. The crowd around you, including Pinky and Shannon, had gathered, watching the drama unfold. “Because if I see you near her again, I won’t be so understanding.”
The boy hastily apologized, and disappointment washed over you. You stood there, heart still pounding, eyes locked on the guy. The music seemed to fade, the lights almost feeling surreal. Your arm throbbed where his fingers had left marks. It was more than just the physical pain. Something darker lingered, an uncomfortable ache that was eating you alive.
The way his hands had grabbed you. The pressure. The way you froze, completely caught off guard. Why hadn’t you done something sooner? The thought circled your mind.
You weren’t just an object to be touched without consent. You weren’t something to be handled like that. His eyes had made it clear what his intentions were, and yet, you hadn’t fought back right away. Why did it take so long to shove him off?
You shook your head, trying to push the thoughts away. It wasn’t your fault. You knew that. But still, that voice wouldn’t stop nagging.
Then, you felt the comforting presence of Leon, silent, steady. 
Stop thinking about this, you thought, pushing the spiraling thoughts back down. But the ache in your arm remained, a quiet reminder.
And then, unexpectedly, as the boy was about to scurry off, Leon punched him. The crowd gasped. The guy almost fell back, hands pressed to his bleeding nose.
Shit, had he really just done that?
A wave of shock rolled over you, followed by a surge of gratitude. The boy had been disgusting, his touch violating, and in that moment, the justice of seeing him knocked down was almost cathartic. 
You hadn’t asked for it, but Leon had taken control, he had done something. Your arm still ached, but somehow, it didn’t feel as heavy now. You felt like you were no longer entirely vulnerable, like there was someone standing between you and the dangers of the world.
“Are you okay?” Leon asked, bringing you back to the present. 
You simply nodded, too flooded by emotions to put words together. You glanced at him. Beneath the calm exterior you had seen when you met him, you could now sense something else.
“I am.” You whispered, finally finding your voice.
“I think we should go.”
“I… came with my friends.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Pinky and Shannon approached you, and you explained what happened. After showing them the scratch, you all agreed to leave with Leon. Shannon and Pinky squeezed into the back, leaving the front passenger seat open for you.
As Leon drove, you found yourself distracted by his silver rings and the luxurious watch on his wrist, definitely a Rolex. And his car, a black Bugatti, screamed wealth.
Leon had to be loaded.
“I can’t believe he did that. What a jerk.” Pinky said, shaking her head. “He had that hit coming. You were amazing, Leon.”
Leon glanced at you, then at her. “I haven’t even told you my name yet.”
“Oh, but she has mentioned you a lot lately.”
Leon glanced back at you, but it was brief. He had to keep his focus on the road, after all. You, on the other side, wanted to disappear and drag Pinky with you.
“Interesting.” Leon murmured, smirking. “But I’d prefer you call me Yuta.”
The car fell into a comfortable silence until Shannon groaned from the back.
“Oh, no. She drank too much.”
Yuta and you looked at each other for a second, panicking. If Shannon threw up in this fucking expensive car, you would kill her. Yuta quickly parked on the side of the road, and Shannon opened the door, intending to leave. Her plan failed, and instead, she leaned out to vomit. Pinky removed her seat belt to grab her hair and pat her back, telling her to breathe and calm down.
You buried your face in your hands, mortified.
“Are you feeling better?” Yuta asked Shannon once she had closed the door. The younger girl leaned her head on Pinky’s shoulder and gave him a thumbs up.
Shortly after, Yuta parked in front of the club. Shannon and Pinky exited, thanking him for the ride.
When they were out of sight, Yuta laughed lightly. Your cheeks burned.
“Please don't laugh.” You said, covering your face once again. “That was so embarrassing.”
“Come on, it was funny.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t even.” There were a few seconds of silence. “I’m sorry if sending you my number with Kahi scared you.”
“Well, you’ve punched someone for me tonight, I can’t be mad at you.”
Yuta laughed again.
You looked out the window for a moment, wishing that this moment could be extended a little longer. But you were starting to feel the effects of alcohol, and you were very tired. Your arm hurt.
“I better get going. I’ve got work to do tomorrow.”
You felt a buzz of heat in your chest, your arm still aching from the earlier incident, but the night had ended with the memory of Yuta’s smile lingering. As you waved him goodbye, you knew you’d be thinking about him for a long time.
Back at the club, Kahi sat at a table, working. She barely glanced at you.
“Looks like you had a good time.”
“I did.” You replied, surprised by her irritated tone. “What are you working on?”
“Numbers.” She muttered, taking a drag from her cigarette. “Not everyone has the privilege to enjoy a night off.”
You raised an eyebrow, but didn’t push further. You were too tired, too confused to do so.
“Well, you’re the boss after all, right?”
“Yeah.” Kahi clenched her teeth. “I am.”
You shrugged it off, heading to your room. Pinky was already in bed, removing her makeup. You changed into your pajamas, slid into bed, and tried to forget about the night, but all you could think about was Yuta.
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The scent of pancakes filled the air. The girls were already deep into their meals, and so you assumed they were just too hungry to wait for you. You sat beside Pinky and poured yourself some orange juice.
“So, you guys had a good time last night?” Yehana asked, watching Shannon struggle to open her mouth. The girl looked like passing out from the worst hangover imaginable.
“It could have been better.” Pinky said, grabbing a waffle from the plate at the center of the table.
“Why? What happened?”
Before you could say anything, you stretched your arm across the table to show her the scratch. It had turned red, and you felt the sting as your skin brushed the fabric of your sleeve.
“One of the guy’s friends tried to make a move on me.” You said, quietly. “And this is what I got for turning him down.”
“Oh fuck.” Yehana grabbed your arm, inspecting the mark before letting go. “What did you do?”
Pinky leaned forward and answered for you, her tone a mix of incredulity and amusement.
“Do you remember that guy who’s been eyeing her for days? Yeah, he appeared out of nowhere and punched the motherfucker who was bothering her.”
“No way!” Yehana’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes!” Pinky burst out laughing. “But I think she didn’t notice how he was looking at her last night. Trust me, he wants to bang her.”
A soft blush crept up your face, but you tried to ignore it as the conversation turned to other topics.
As the morning progressed, you discover the reason for Kahi’s bitchy behavior: Raina and Nana had resigned. No one knew why, they had just left without saying goodbye. Kahi didn’t explain, and you didn’t feel like pressing her for answers.
The club wasn’t as packed as it usually was, but you preferred it that way. Fewer people to serve meant less chaos. Kaeun was getting more comfortable behind the bar, her nerves fading as she gained confidence. It was a relief to finally feel like you had some help, especially since you still had to pick up extra shifts while Kahi looked for replacements.
You carried a tray with three cocktails to a table near the stage. Eunwoo, whose blond hair shimmered under the pink spotlights, was dancing on the pole. You set the drinks down quickly, turning to leave when you overheard some men discussing what they’d like to do to her.
The conversation made your stomach churn, and you couldn’t get away from it fast enough.
Then, Yuta walked in. He was dressed in the same black suit as the first time you saw him, and his gaze swept the room before locking onto you. He made his way over once you finished delivering the drinks.
“Good to see you again.”
“Likewise.” You replied, trying to hide the smile tugging at your lips. You gestured to the seat beside you. “What can I get you?”
“Whiskey. Dry.”
“Got it.”
Just as you began to work on his drink, Kahi appeared at the table. Without acknowledging you or anyone else, she slid into the seat beside Yuta. She didn’t speak a word until you served him his whiskey.
“I want a Bloody Mary.” Kahi said, her tone flat and demanding.
You raised an eyebrow, a tightness forming in your chest. No please? No thank you? You kept your expression neutral.
“Of course, miss.” You replied, forcing a smile. Stay professional, you thought, don’t take it personally.
When you turned to leave for the bar, you couldn’t help but feel the sting of Kahi’s casual rudeness. The sound of the tray hitting the table echoed a little louder than necessary. You exchanged a few words of frustration with Kaeun, who admitted that Kahi had yelled at her during your night off for not being fast enough with the drinks. It was nice to know you weren’t the only one who felt the pressure.
When you finally returned with Kahi’s drink, you placed it down in front of her with more force than usual. You couldn’t shake the frustration that had been building all night. Still, you knew you had to keep walking on eggshells. This job was all you had.
Yuta caught your eye as you left the table, his gaze warm, and a slow, incredibly attractive smile tugged at the corner of his lips. You quickly turned away, your heart fluttering.
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Another night, and once again, Yuta showed up at the club, only this time, he and Kahi disappeared into her office. The door had been closed for nearly an hour now, based on your estimate. A string of red light from the spotlights managed to creep down the hallway, casting an eerie glow on the door. It looked almost like a portal to somewhere unknown, both unsettling and oddly enchanting.
You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. Before they entered the office, there had been a brief exchange between them: an argument, you’d noticed. You didn’t know what it was about, but Kahi had seemed restless, defensive.
The pair clearly had some history together, but why had Yuta shown up out of nowhere? Why hadn’t his name come up in any of Kahi’s conversations in the four years you’d worked here?
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Kaeun asked, leaning over the counter, trying to peer through the crack in the office door.
“I don’t know.” You sighed, glancing over your shoulder at the closed door, your unease growing. “But whatever it is, it’s not good.”
You were placing the last glass under the counter when Baekho slid onto the stool across from you, his gaze heavy and distant. He rested his elbows on the counter and spoke with a low voice.
“I need alcohol.”
You studied his face before reaching for a freshly washed glass and filling it with vodka. His eyes seemed tired, his expression worn.
“Is everything okay?” You asked, your tone filled with concern.
“My girlfriend’s period is late.” He muttered after a while, looking down at his hands.
Your breath hitched in your chest as you stifled a gasp, wide-eyed in disbelief. You watched him gulp down half the vodka in one go, his eyes glistening with the threat of tears.
Kaeun, ever the optimist, leaned in with a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t worry, Baekho. If she’s pregnant, she can always choose to terminate the pregnancy... but if you decide to keep it, I’m sure you’d make a great father.”
You saw where Kaeun’s kind words were coming from, but they hit wrong. You shook your head, trying to catch her attention, your panic growing with each word.
“No, Kaeun.” You whispered urgently. “Baekho… can’t have kids.”
Kaeun’s face blanched, her mouth falling open. Her voice barely a whisper as she muttered a soft “oh”, her eyes darting between you and Baekho. She seemed embarrassed, unsure of how to save face.
The boy, unable to hold back any longer, downed the rest of his drink, slamming the empty glass onto the counter with a force that nearly shattered it.
“Alright, Baekho, listen to me.” You said, trying to steady your voice. “A woman’s period can be late for so many reasons. Don’t panic just yet.”
He nodded slowly, brushing the tears from his face with the back of his hand. You reached out, gently running your fingers through his hair, a gesture meant to comfort, even though you couldn’t fully understand the weight of his pain.
It was difficult enough for him to come to terms with the fact that he couldn’t have children, especially when fatherhood meant so much to him. But now, the thought of a possible infidelity added an unbearable layer of hurt, and you could see how deeply it cut, especially considering how much he loved his girlfriend.
The hours passed, and still, the door stayed shut. As the night progressed and the club began to empty, Pinky and Roa took over cleaning the room while you scrubbed glasses, your thoughts a constant loop. The sound of the office door opening caught you off guard. You froze, hand still gripping the glass you were cleaning.
Kahi cleared her throat, her voice sharp. You tried to compose yourself, but the tension in the air hung thick.
“Our guest is leaving.”
Kahi said, her tone cold. She headed towards the door with her usual air of control, and the remaining girls mumbled awkward goodbyes. Yuta then did something that made your heart sink: he ignored you.
The wave of disappointment hit you hard as soon as the door closed. For some reason, you had hoped for more. More acknowledgement, more attention. But he’d spent the entire night with Kahi, as if you didn’t matter at all. You knew it was irrational to feel upset, but that didn’t stop the frustration from boiling over.
You grabbed your phone the moment you hit the bed, fingers moving quickly over the screen as you typed:
We should go out sometime.
The message felt like a small, desperate plea, but you hit send before you could second-guess yourself.
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After inspecting your clothes, Pinky decided to lend you one of her dresses. Each of them was beautiful, and it took you a while to decide which one you wanted to wear.
It was a Saturday night, and Yuta had invited you out for dinner. Where he would take you was a secret. Would it be elegant? Romantic? You tried not to get your hopes up too much. After all, it was just the first date. The location didn’t matter that much, you just wanted to get to know him.
I’m outside. You ready?
Coming.
You quickly hopped off the bed, with Pinky by your side, and made your way through the hallway.
“What if the conversation gets awkward?” You asked, your nerves starting to show.
“Ask him questions.” Pinky suggested, adjusting the collar of your coat.
“What if I run out of things to ask?”
“Then he’ll come up with something.” She reassured you.
“But-”
“Hey.” She raised a hand and pressed her finger to your lips, halting your words. “Everything will be fine. You’ve got this.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense for these things.” Once you reached the front door, Pinky straightened your dress and gave you an encouraging smile. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
Yuta was standing outside, leaning against the passenger door of his scandalously expensive car, dressed in a dark blue suit. When he heard the door open, his face lit up.
He opened the passenger door for you and whispered in your ear as you slipped inside:
“You look gorgeous.”
Soft music played inside, and you couldn’t help but be thankful that he hadn’t seen the way your face had turned red at his compliment. As you fastened your seatbelt, Yuta climbed in and started the car. It moved smoothly, the hum of the engine almost soothing.
“So...” You hesitated, trying to break the silence. “Where are we going?”
“One of my friends owns this restaurant…” He explained, his hands gripping the wheel. “The Lotus. Have you heard of it?”
Of course you had! It was the restaurant of the moment, a must-visit place for celebrities.
A sudden feeling of self-consciousness flooded your body. Everyone there would be wearing designer clothes, while you wore a cheap (beautiful, nonetheless) dress. Maybe this whole date hadn’t been such a great idea after all. Maybe people like Yuta weren’t supposed to mingle with people like you.
Yuta kept on driving, oblivious to the insecurities creeping up inside you.
You turned your gaze out the window as the car left the industrial area where the club was, moving toward the open roads. The landscape seemed barren: yellow, dry ground as far as you could see. The scenery changed the more you drove, passing through residential neighborhoods where houses with two, three, four floors lined the streets.
One house, in particular, caught your eye. It was built from red bricks, with a black front door adorned with decorative glass featuring a delicate floral pattern. Stairs led up to a small entrance, surrounded by vibrant, colorful plants. Beside the door, a large window caught your attention, though white curtains obscured the view, leaving you to imagine what the living room might look like inside.
You could only dream of owning a house like that. Your salary barely covered the basics: rent, food, your phone bill. There wasn’t much left after paying for all of that.
Yuta’s voice brought you back to the present. Had you really been quiet the entire drive? You felt guilty for not trying to make conversation.
The entrance of The Lotus loomed before you, and suddenly, the reality of the situation hit you like a wave. Elegance, money, power. Three things you didn’t have. A young man opened the car door for you, and you stepped out with shaky legs. Yuta handed the keys to the valet and walked to you, placing his hand on the small of your back.
The glass doors opened automatically when you approached them and, inside, a hostess greeted you warmly and took your coats before guiding you to your table in the center of the salon. The sound of your heels was muffled by the plush red carpet, and you couldn’t avoid glimpsing your reflection in the mirrored walls.
Yuta ordered an expensive wine, and you nearly choked on your saliva when you saw the price.
Of course, it was simply pocket money when it came to Yuta.
The wine was delicious, and so you tried to let go of your discomfort. You were into the starters, eating something with salmon and some lemon, when a question you’d been holding onto slipped out.
“How can you afford all of this?”
Yuta raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. “You aren’t one to beat around the bush, huh?”
You opened your mouth to say something, but words seemed to get stuck in your throat.
“I-”
“I inherited the family business after my parents’ death. I own Nakamuro Corporation.”
You blinked in surprise.
“Shut up. You really?”
Nakamura Corporation operated multiple businesses both nationally and internationally, from media and entertainment to luxury hotels. The Cerulean Hotel, owned by the company, was one of the most expensive hotels not only in South Korea, but in the world.
No wonder every single breath of his screamed wealth.
Yuta chuckled at your reaction. He went on to explain how, with no siblings, the entire family fortune fell to him after his parents’ passing. He had made some loyal friends throughout his life, such as Johnny, the owner of the restaurant you were eating in.
He had bought a penthouse in downtown Seoul as soon as he hit 21, but when the pressure of the business life became too much, he retreated to his family’s rural home in Japan, where his grandmother still lived.
“What about you?” He asked, his eyes sincere.
You mirrored his sip of wine, feeling the weight of the question.
“I, um… actually, I don’t really have any family. Just my girls.” You replied, your voice hollow. “My dad left when I was a baby, so my mom raised me as a single mother. When I turned 18, she met a guy online and… left. She didn’t even tell me. I came home from high school one day, and they were just gone. After waiting for a week, I realized they weren’t coming back.”
Yuta set his glass down, a look of genuine regret crossing his face.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Don’t worry about it. You couldn’t have known.” You said, spinning the drink inside your glass absently. You took a deep breath and continued. “I started crashing on friends’ couches, taking whatever shitty jobs I could find. Eventually, I ended up living in the streets, then found the Cherry Lips. I don’t believe in fate, but I genuinely think that someone watching over me moved the pieces so that I ended up there.”
Yuta listened intently, his eyes never leaving yours. The dinner continued, the wine slowly disappeared, and the night soon came to an end. On the drive back to the club, the two of you chatted about everything and anything in particular. You loved seeing this side of him, more relaxed and open. 
When you said your goodnights, you swore you had seen Yuta glancing at your lips.
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If you had to pinpoint the moment everything started to crumble, it would be when clients began visiting Kahi’s office. They’d only be inside for a few minutes, but when they came out, they acted off. They’d tap their feet, glance around nervously, sweat. When they left, they could barely walk straight.
A nagging feeling settled deep within you, a sense that something big was about to blow up, and when it did, there would be no coming back from it. Two weeks later, you would find out just how right you were.
Eunwoo was performing on stage when a man suddenly lunged at her. Baekho and Minhyun were on him instantly, but the man was wild, completely out of control. With brutal force, he shoved Minhyun aside, sending him crashing into a nearby table. The table splintered, and Minhyun collapsed to the floor, unconscious.
Your heart nearly stopped in your chest. Chaos erupted around you: Eunwoo’s screams, the other girls rushing from the dressing room to comfort her, and Baekho, with help, dragging the crazed man offstage.
Kahi appeared, her voice a booming command as she kicked everyone out. Kaeun rushed to Minhyun’s side, but you were frozen, staring at him, wondering if he was dead. Had you just witnessed a murder?
Kaeun grabbed his wrist, desperately searching for a pulse. When she finally found it, she sighed with relief, glanced at Kahi, and nodded. The pulse was weak, but it was there. He needed to get to a hospital.
Roa and Nayoung helped Baekho get Minhyun into the car, and you stood on the street with the other girls, watching the car disappear down the road.
Kahi turned back to the group, her face unreadable. “Get in.”
Everyone followed, hoping she’d finally explain what was going on, but she walked straight to her office, stopping only when you called out.
“What’s going on?”
“Sorry?”
“Clearly something’s wrong.” You spoke louder, your voice firmer now. “Customers have been acting weird, getting in and out of your office every night, and now this. We work here, we live here. We deserve to know if something’s happening.”
Kahi looked you dead in the eye, but there was nothing in her expression. After a long, uncomfortable silence, she spoke.
“You’re right. I owe you the truth.” She straightened up, crossing her arms defensively. “We’re bankrupt. I’ve been selling coke to be able to pay the bills.”
Your world stopped. The words didn’t make sense at first, and you couldn’t process them. The girls around you wore identical expressions of shock.
“Kahi, are you insane?” Pinky cried. “You’re going to get us all in trouble!”
“What if someone finds out and goes to the cops?” Roa asked, her voice trembling as she sat down. “Oh, God…”
“No one will talk.” Kahi insisted, scanning the room, eyes stopping on each girl. “I’ve got pictures. They don’t want their wives, girlfriends, or bosses to find out where their money’s really going.”
You scoffed, running a hand through your hair. “If blackmail is your only backup plan, we’re literally fucked.”
“Then tell me how else I can keep this place running.” Kahi snapped, raising her voice. But you weren’t scared anymore.
“Well, shit, not by selling drugs!” You threw your hands up in frustration. “Why didn’t you ask for a loan? I don’t know! Do you have any idea how close tonight came to ending worse? What if Minhyun had died? What would you have done then?”
“But he didn’t die.” Kahi shot back.
You couldn’t believe that the woman in front of you, the one you had once looked up to, could act like this. So irrationally, so blind.
“He could have died.” You pressed. “And you’re our boss, Kahi, you’re supposed to protect us.”
The other girls murmured in agreement, but Kahi stood firm, her expression stone-cold.
“I’ll make this clear once and for all: I’ll do anything to keep this club afloat.”
“I get that.” You said, crossing your arms, mimicking her defensive stance. “But this isn’t the way.”
“If you don’t like it, then leave.”
The words hit you like a punch. Your heart skipped a beat, and you could barely find your voice.
“I’m sorry?”
“You heard me. You’re fired.”
“Seriously? You’re kicking me out because I won’t go along with this?”
Kahi stepped forward, her perfume overwhelming. You could feel her breath as she towered over you.
“Anyone else?” She scanned the room, her eyes daring anyone to speak. But there was silence. She turned back to you, her final words cutting through the air. “I want you out first thing in the morning.”
You stared at her, her face a mask of cold indifference, and for the first time, you realized that the woman you once knew had disappeared. Even if things had been awkward lately, the realization hurt more than you thought.
“You’re such a bitch.” You said quietly, savoring the words you’d wanted to say for so long.
Kahi didn’t answer. She just turned, and the sound of her office door closing was the final blow. Your body sank into a nearby chair. The girls gathered around, comforting you, vowing to talk to Kahi and get you back in, but deep down, you knew it was over.
And maybe, just maybe, it was for the best.
You spent the rest of the night packing. You dug out your old bag from the closet and stuffed your clothes inside, the rest of your things going into a new backpack.
You didn’t sleep.
The next morning, you dressed in silence, the weight of what was happening sinking in. Despite the girls’ attempts to change Kahi’s mind, you knew there was no turning back. Kahi only emerged from her office to hand you a letter of recommendation and your severance pay.
You took one last look at your room. Regret gnawed at you, but there was no changing what had happened. You grabbed your things and walked down the hall, the entire situation feeling unfair.
When you reached the club’s floor, the place you once hated now felt like it was a part of you. The girls surrounded you, tears in their eyes. Kahi was nowhere in sight. You said goodbye to each of them, your heart breaking with each embrace, trying to hold back tears.
But they were your family, after all.
Pinky was the last to hug you, holding you tighter than anyone. Her tears soaked your shirt as she clung to you like you were her lifeline. You held her close, squeezing back.
Saying goodbye to the girls was hard, but parting from Pinky, someone you thought of as a little sister, the one who had made this place bearable, was even worse.
“Why are we being so dramatic?” Siyeon asked, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “We’ll keep in touch, right? We have phones.”
Nayeon nodded, trying to stay composed, but her mascara was smeared all over her face.
“Where will you go?” Kyla asked, brushing hair from her face.
“I don’t know-” You admitted, gently stroking Siyeon’s arm. “But I’ll figure it out and call you once I find somewhere to stay.”
You sighed deeply, grabbed your sports bag, and turned to leave. But before you could take another step, you remembered something.
“Please tell Baekho I said goodbye, and that I hope everything works out for him. Can you do that for me?”
Kaeun nodded, her voice soft yet firm. “Of course. I’ll tell him.”
You hated goodbyes, especially because you never really got to say them before. Your father had left before you even knew how to speak, and your mother had just vanished.
With your backpack over one shoulder and your sports bag in hand, you opened the door and walked out. You glanced one last time at the club, the place that had been both hell and home to you.
You walked down the street, trying to come to terms with what had just ended.
At the end of the street, you stopped, unwilling to look back. But you did anyway. The club’s neon sign flickered off, a dim glow that mirrored the hollow feeling in your chest.
You dropped your bags and sat on the sidewalk, pulling out your phone. You stared at the screen, unsure if you should call. But you dialed anyway.
After what felt like an eternity, you saw a familiar car turn onto the street and park in front of you.
Yuta stepped out, confusion creasing his brow when he saw your bags.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice gentle but full of concern.
And just like that, you broke. The dam you’d been holding back all night crumbled, and the tears spilled out. You collapsed against him the moment he sat down next to you, your body shaking with the release.
“Kahi fired me.” You whispered through sobs. “She kicked me out.”
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toyybox · 1 year ago
Text
Spiderwebs #16: Tape IX (Senseless)
Masterlist
content: lab whump, captivity, immortal whumpee, eye injury, brief dismemberment
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Heather was a mere mortal. Heather was nothing, compared to him. Jackie tried to keep this in mind the next day, when she returned with the scalpel. The threat of improvised surgery often dulled his sense of scorn.
“Stop that,” she snapped, the scalpel like a tiny spear in her gloved hand. “The table’s going to break.”
The table did shudder beneath him, but Jackie refused to move. On the contrary—he stepped farther along its length, farther away from the wicked glint of the blade. The scar on his chest had faded to a silvery line, but the memory of being torn apart was still alive and kicking. 
Heather now spoke in a tone that was marginally softer than before. Which wasn’t very soft at all, but it was something. “I have the drug, remember? You won’t feel anything.”
“Oh. Right.”
“So? Get down. Or would you rather do it without the painkillers?”
He clambered off the table with as much dignity as he could muster. He hoped to hell that the drug wouldn’t wear off early, or worse—not work at all. If it came to blows, he could start sobbing again, but somehow he knew that wouldn’t work a second time. 
There was that tiny red pill again. Two of them this time. And a glass of water, and that dreaded table with all the empty glass jars. All manner of steel implements were arranged before him, a bona fide orchestra of surgical instruments. Most of them he had seen before, which did not ease his apprehension at all.
“I’ll give you five minutes, then we’ll begin.” As she spoke, the recorder listened on from a safe corner of the table, away from all the jars. “Today's dosage is fourteen hundred milligrams. Administered twelve hours after previous dosage.”
“What’s the needle for?” The needle in question was at least six inches long, but otherwise indistinguishable from a normal sewing needle. Down went the water and the pills. Jackie now noticed a mild bitter taste, which lingered even after he swallowed. 
“Gee, I don’t know. It’s a surprise tool that will help us later.” She ripped the glass from his hands and placed it on the nightstand. “Stop asking questions, for God’s sake.”
Well, he wasn’t about to argue. When she was sure he would not speak, Heather turned her back to him. She began cleaning some kind of saw or blade with an abrasive-smelling, clear liquid and a soft white cloth. The room was filled with a chemical smell.
While he waited, the opioid took effect. The numbness spread through his body, at first through the tips of his fingers, then through his hands and arms, cutting off the feeling in his legs and chest, then finally his face. Even the bitter aftertaste faded on his tongue. The textures and touch of the outside world ceased to exist in any meaningful way. This time, even the dread in the back of his mind and the tension in his heart began to slow—not by much, but it was a noticeable difference. 
The cleaning of tools had concluded. She turned back to him. “Is the anesthetic working?”
He nodded.
Before he could react, she stabbed a scalpel into the side of his arm. Jackie opened his mouth to protest, but he hadn’t felt a thing. Not even the warmth of blood, dripping against his skin as she pulled the blade out. Those electric impulses had all but died. 
“The drug has blocked all pain receptors.” She put the scalpel down. “There aren’t many side effects, although Jackie’s immortality makes it unclear whether or not the opioid is toxic.”
“Sorry about that.”
“It doesn’t matter.” A spoon. Why was she holding a spoon? He couldn’t see any food. “It’s time for the experiment. Keep your eyes open. Try not to blink.”
Eyes? 
Oh. Oh no. 
Despite all the impossible things his body had healed, Jackie was not thrilled at this prospect. But it wouldn’t hurt, at least. And he couldn’t say no. He’d have to suck it up and let her finish the test. How bad could it be? What was a little bit of blindness to the undying, eternal Jackie? What harm could a utensil do to someone like him?
“I don’t see how this benefits science,” he did say, however. “Pun not intended.”
She gestured with the spoon, shrugging. “Oh, you know. Something interesting might happen.”
Something interesting. Right. To each their own, he supposed. 
“Sit down on the chair. Don’t move,” she added sharply. “Don’t start crying again, either. It won’t help you.”
He wasn’t planning to, anyway. He sat on the chair, next to his desk, as still as possible. Heather approached him, spoon in hand. It was funny to see such an ordinary thing held with such weight and importance. He could see his reflection on the surface, like a funhouse mirror image. The concave curve lit up as she moved closer. A stripe of shiny metal, one that would soon be embedded in his sockets, digging out the delicate jelly-like flesh. Ew. Why did Jackie have such a morbid imagination? It would be painless, but he still couldn’t help but flinch.
Her hand grasped his shoulder. “It will be okay.” Such a cold tone for such a comforting line. “Look at the stairs.”
Behind her was the flight of stairs. A straight line of steps. Underneath, there was a triangular section of wall. He noticed a sort of seam there, a ridge bumping out. There must have been a closet dug into that space, or another kind of storage area. Now, it was covered up, with nothing but a ridge to remember it by. He wondered why. Seemed pointless to Jackie. Waste of a good closet. Maybe there had been an infestation, or a—
Jackie didn’t feel the spoon touch his eye, but he saw it. On instinct, he screwed both his eyes shut. He tried to open them, but it was a struggle to stop blinking.
He heard her growl, even when he couldn’t see her. “I don’t need to cut your eyelids out, do I?”
That was decidedly not a nice mental image. “I can’t help it.”
“Fine.” Her hand lifted from his shoulder. Instead, he saw it grasp his face, from the corner of his eye. “I’ll hold them open. Don’t look away from the stairs, or so God help you.”
“Yeah, yeah.” What would normally be an uncomfortable position without the drug was now only a strange one, as she pried his right eye open. 
The stairs. Right. The stairs. What about the stairs? They weren’t carpeted, as they were in his childhood home. That was probably for the better, considering all the blood he shed. What else was there to say about them? It didn’t matter, anyway—his vision went blurred, unfocused. Dots of red filled his sight. He could hear the squishing sound as his eyeball was gouged out. Wet, loud, as if someone was crushing up gelatin. A wave of nausea plugged up his chest. He fought the urge to push her away. He fought the urge to pull back. His hands staggered to the arms of the chair. He grasped them hard, as someone in a car crash grasps the wheel. There was no pain, not even a slight pressure, but it was nevertheless unpleasant. 
Then, his vision disappeared completely. At least, in that one eye. Heather pulled away. There was a final squelching sound. Then, the sawing of a scalpel across nerves. A final snap… and then it was over. The spoon lowered to her side. 
With what remained of his sight, he glanced at the bloody eye in her hand—he then quickly looked back at the stairs. Her instructions aside, it wasn’t a pretty view. 
“You can’t see through this, can you?” The awe in Heather’s voice was evident. A stilted sense of pride flickered in him, even though immortality was less of a talent and more of an unconscious spasm.
“No.” He let himself blink—Jackie realized that he hadn’t felt the urge to blink for a while now. 
“Fascinating.” Her head tilted backwards, towards the recorder. “The eyes heal slower than the heart, which I hadn’t expected. That’s all semantics, in any case. On to the next eye.”
The removal of his left eye went a little more smoothly. He knew what to expect, so it wasn’t as big of a shock when his vision went completely dark. He hadn’t grown accustomed to those noises at all, however. It was a relief when the spoon left his sockets and all went silent.
Jackie closed his eyelids. He opened them. Still nothing. The basement had been plunged into a flat shadow, devoid of depth or direction. Touch and sight—he was two senses down.
The sudden loss was dizzying. Even the comfort of touch, the pressure of plastic against his palm and the solidity of the ground, even that was forfeit. There was nothing to steady him. Nothing to lean against. Nothing familiar, nothing loyal or true. That safety had been cut from his hand, leaving only the maps of memory to guide his movements. 
He could not halt the steady stream of panic passing through him, now that he only had his hearing and smell to rely on. And those senses were barren at best. The silence offered nothing, and all he could smell was blood and cleaning chemicals. 
“They’ll grow back, I’m sure.” Heather’s voice cut through his thoughts. Following that was the unscrewing of a jar and the squish of eyes pressed against glass. “Can you see anything? Anything at all?”
“No. It’s lights out for me, doc.” He rubbed his face—a pointless gesture, since he, you know, couldn’t feel anything. “You’re sure they’ll grow back?”
“Probably.” An uneasy silence broke her sentence. “I mean, all your internal organs grew back. I’m sure it’s fine.”
“I hope so. I’ll be bored as hell without them.”
“Well.” Another pause. “I could get you a radio. If you want one. Maybe a record player. You like music, don’t you?”
“I guess.” 
She did not reply. In that awful intermission, he had nothing to occupy himself with but the sound of his breathing. The sound of her breathing, too, and the occasional rustling of fabric. His unease did not lighten or leave. How was he supposed to escape if he couldn’t see anything? The thought of being blind wasn’t nearly as upsetting as the thought of being dependent on Heather. The nausea rose in tempo, a steady roiling wave against his chest. 
He was ready to start dry-heaving, but just that moment his vision returned. Blooming, bursting into view, the bright light, the almost painful intensity of it. At first, there were only a few spots, which quickly bled into great patches, until it all returned. Never was there a more beautiful sight. He blinked until the white light eased into familiar shapes. Heather’s basement. He could see it all. The bed, the lightbulb, the uncarpeted stairs. And there was Heather herself! Jackie had to admit he was glad to see her, if only because it meant he hadn’t lost his ability to see.
The relief etched on her face mirrored his own. “See? I told you it would be fine.”
“I didn’t doubt you for a second.” He managed a weak grin. “Is the experiment over now?”
“No, actually.” She raised the spoon with a matching smile. “A few more rounds couldn’t hurt.” 
A… few more rounds. Once was enough, Jackie thought. But he couldn’t refuse, could he?
Her smile widened to Chesire proportions. “Oh, come on. Do you really not find any of this interesting?“
“If I’m being honest? No.” His disappointment was apparently not as subtle as he imagined. “Whatever. You’re right, it couldn’t hurt.”
“That’s the kind of enthusiasm I love to see.” She paused. “Pun not—you know—“
“I get it. Hurry up and gouge me, will you?”
She frowned a bit at his wording, but continued. Three more times. By the third time around, he had acclimatized to this strange ritual. His vision would blank out, he’d wait a few minutes, and it would return good as new. The only real problem was his increasing boredom. He wondered how it looked from Heather’s perspective. Probably didn’t look very pretty, considering his entire eyeball was reshaping itself. Although, maybe there was a strange beauty in that. An uncanny sort of vividness. An evocative thrill in all that gore. 
At last, she put the spoon away, which was now covered in a mess of reds. In a jar resided a pile of his eyes. All exactly the same, dark irises and bloodshot whites, accompanied by splashes of crimson here and there. A revolting sight, dulled a little by how casually Heather was treating it.
Jackie leaned forward in his chair for a closer view. “You’re keeping those?”
She gave him a curt, chiding look, as she picked up the large saw. “That’s none of your concern. I wouldn’t expect you to understand the importance of this.”
Heather was correct in that regard. He didn’t have the faintest idea. “I don’t know. Seems like a waste of a good jar to me.”
The glint of silver entered his view before he had a chance to move away. The blade of the saw rested against the edge of his mouth. The motion was patient, almost tender. 
Heather leaned forward. “Are you sure you want to talk like that before I remove your tongue?"
“Please don’t.” He tilted his head as far back as it would go. “I’ll shut up now.” 
“Good.” Her reply came with an amused tilt. The saw lifted from his skin. She then examined Jackie, as a butcher examines a sow. Her stare gleamed with an excitement that made him profoundly uncomfortable. “Now, I think it’s safe to say we can try something bigger. How about... an arm?”
He sighed and held out his left arm. 
The saw she had chosen for the dismemberment was even longer than the bone saw, with a great rectangular section of steel atop a curved handle. She practiced her swing a few times, just below the elbow, grazing the skin like a batter preparing to strike out.
This was something he didn’t need to witness. Something he would definitely prefer not to witness. His dreams already had enough gore for one lifetime. Jackie turned his head away and screwed his eyes shut. He held his breath. If nothing else, he hoped it would be a clean cut. Nice and quick. 
“You can relax now. It’s done.”
“Oh.” That was faster than he expected.
“Hold on, I need to write this down.” Jackie did not open his eyes, but he could hear the shuffle of papers and the clicking of a pen. “Subject’s limbs grow back remarkably quickly, considering how much organic matter is removed. I would give it another ten minutes. That means the estimated total time is…” The pen scratched something down. “Fifteen minutes, maybe?”
“What’s it look like? My arm?”
She clicked her tongue. “Bad. Keep those eyes closed, I’d say.”
“Good idea.” What Heather was planning to do with his dismembered arm, Jackie could not imagine. Then again, Jackie wasn’t a cold-blooded killer who collected organs for fun. His imagination was somewhat limited. 
“Alright, that looks good as new.” Jackie opened his eyes to find her examining his arm, devoid of any injury aside from a raw scar that circled his elbow. “Try moving that for me.”
He lifted his arm, flexed his fingers, rolled his wrist. The injury hadn’t stiffened his movements in the slightest. 
“I expect you’ll feel sore later, but it’s nothing an Aspirin can’t fix.” And now, the needle. “One last test, okay? The opioid should wear off soon, so I’ll get this over with quickly.”
“And what is this, exactly?” He shifted further back into the chair. Now that she mentioned it, he was starting to feel the slightest hint of heat, pricking the edge of his skin. Along with that came the shudder of something colder along his spine, tensing his heart. What would he do if the drug cut out early? Whatever she was planning, it couldn’t be pleasant. 
“I’ve tested your sense of sight.” She leaned over him, placed her hand securely around his jaw. “Now, I want to see how your hearing is affected.”
The needle entered his ear. It wasn’t painful yet, but he could feel the cold steel, along with a slight pressure. Then, his other ear. 
The loss of his hearing wasn’t nearly as distressing as the loss of his sight, knowing that it would come back. In fact, he hadn’t even noticed it missing at first. All at once, every noise ceased to exist. The steady buzz of the light and the rhythm of his breathing, even the faint click-click-click of the recorder, all faded into a calming quiet.
Heather waved her hand in front of his face. He tilted his head. Oh, she was speaking. Saying something. He could not understand a lick of it, of course. 
“I can’t hear you, idiot.” He flinched as she tightened her grip on his jaw—he could actually feel it now, feel the pressure of her nails. “Sorry. But I can’t.”
She let go and gestured to her lips.
“I’m not good at reading lips,” he protested. “Write it down. You have a journal, right?”
She shook her head, now gesturing to the instruments, saying something with increasing passion. He caught the words expensive and waste of paper—a simple yes or no would work, but it got the point across. Then, she pointed to the journal, then at him.
“Are you asking about my notebook?”
She nodded.
“Do you… want it?”
She nodded slower, pointedly.
“Right.” He made a show of searching the room. “I must have… lost it. Sorry.”
That triggered another rant. The tone of it was evident on her face, even if it didn’t reach his ears. She gestured to the room as she spoke, then to him, then to the scalpel, then back to him—he hoped that didn’t mean what he thought it meant—then at his nightstand. 
And then, her lips stopped moving, with the tempo of an engine running itself down, as she seemed to realize how confused he was. Her expression softened, but not in a comforting way—in the way a cat goes still before its pounce. 
She tapped her watch, then held up five fingers. Five minutes. Then, she crossed her legs and waited. For his hearing to return, most likely. Jackie was dreading that moment.
A shrill pop, above the side of his jaw, interrupted his dread. It didn’t hurt too much, but it did hurt. The ache dragged along his face. He pressed a hand to his ear. The hum of white noise filled in that ringing silence, then the steady whirring of the recorder, then the sound of his sharp inhale, and finally the twisting of fabric as Heather moved to him. 
“Can you hear me?”
He nodded, before putting a hand to his other ear as it healed. 
“Good. Now explain.”
“I lost it! What do you want me to explain?” He straightened his shoulders from their unconscious hunch.
“You lost it.” She held up two fingers. “Jackie, you’re locked in a single room. There are two possible explanations. Either you’re lying—“ she put down a finger—“or you’re sneaking out of the basement.” The remaining finger tapped against his chest. “Do either of those options sound good?”
”No.”
“Then explain to me what really happened.”
“Well…” He’d gotten out of one bad situation with his words. He could get out of another. “I was using the notebook. Then I fell asleep. I must have dropped it under the bed or something. It’s fine, I’ll get it later.”
“What were you using it for?”
Should he be honest? No, that was more than he wanted her to know. “Writing.”
“Writing what?”
What did people write? Could he convince her that he was drafting a novel? It would be a hard sell. What else? “Nothing. Never mind.”
���You fucking liar.” 
“What? No, I—“ All the muscles and veins in Jackie’s body screamed at him to run, to get away, to hide, to fight, to do something and not just sit there like a terrified punching bag. Then again, where would he hide? In the bathroom sink? Fight with what, his stunning good looks? Running would make things worse. Better to wait it out.
After all, what good would this tiny rebellion do? The Americans had armies chock-full of weapons. Even the peasants of France had their guillotines and gun bayonets. Jackie had nothing. Appeasement was his only option. There was no point in shooting a rifle without any bullets. 
She stood up and stepped over to the recorder. The spools ceased to spin. Now he was alone with Heather. When had he started thinking of the recorder as a separate entity? It was a comforting thought, that someone else was watching, someone other than his captor. It meant that she couldn’t hurt him, not while a witness was listening in. He knew that was just pretend, but it was all he had. Grasping for straws like he was drowning, holding on to the riptides around him. 
And once that recorder cut off, the only barrier in his mind, his terror came flooding in. God’s holy cleansing in a world gone senseless, a wrathful sea to erase what remained. He was left to drown with the heathens and pigs. Left alone, all alone. 
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Taglist:
@theelvishcowgirl
@lthrboy
@whumpy-wyrms
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sendaidivision · 2 months ago
Note
Happy Halloween! 🎃
-> Dragon and werewolf for Ryūzō
-> Candy and Poison for Takumi
-> Werewolf and Cloak for Kotono
Dragon - What is their favourite scary movie?
"My favorite scary movie?" Ryūzō repeats with a frown. "I don't generally watch horror movies. Not because I'm afraid, but because I don't need to watch a movie filled with fictional monsters killing off everyone they see. My life has already seen enough of that. ...Besides I barely get enough sleep at night as it is, thanks to my insomnia. Watching a horror movie would not help with that."
"...But to answer the question, there was one movie that Kotono dragged me to see once. What was it called... ah yes, the Ring. A video about a cursed video tape and a girl with supernatural powers. I'll admit, that one piqued my interest. I can't say if it is my favorite horror movie since I don't watch many, but it is the one I always remember."
"But still, I try to avoid horror movies when I can since they are too much like real life. If I wanted to hear young adults moaning/groaning or see them being killed off, all I need to do is just say two words: 'pop quiz'."
You try to ascertain as to whether the English professor is joking or not; its hard to tell from the stoic, neutral look on his face...
Werewolf - What is their favourite part of Halloween?
"My favorite part of Halloween?" Ryūzō repeats, before looking at the screen with a stoic look. "Simple: when it's over." He goes back to grading papers for a minute before looking up at the screen, a neutral look still on his face.
"...Do not take my answer to be a sign that I have anything against All Hallow's Eve. It's simply when this holiday and time of the year rolls around, my students tend to become very lackadaisical with their studies. Around the midpoint of October when midterms are over, that's a sign that the semester is almost over. By that time, the students lose what fervor they had and their grades tend to drop lower than they already are. They seem to think that just because its a festive time, it's an excuse to neglect their schoolwork, and their main interest is in parties and goofing off."
"Therefore, I don't seek to have anything to do with this holiday, other than what is required of me by the school. And that's grading these students' horrid test papers." Ryūzō holds up a student's paper that has 34/100 on it, his face still as stoic as ever.
Candy - If they got to choose to be any supernatural being, what would they choose?
"A dragon!" Takumi answers instantly, with a loud voice and a grin on his face.
"I've always admired and respected dragons since I first learned about them. Dragons are, in my opinion, the personification of raw power. But besides that, they're also so majestic and beautiful, even if they're only featured in paintings and works of fiction. Guess it's no surprise the the speaker for my HypMic is a dragon!"
Poison - Who would they enter a group costume contest with?
"Who would I enter a group costume contest with?" Takumi asks, before looking up to think.
"Hmm... I'd like to say my coworkers, but... knowing Ryūzō, it'd take the school principal or superintendent to get him involved. And even then, he may not take it seriously." Takumi explains, rolling his eyes.
"I'd like to say Kotono, but... well, as much as I like her, if there's a party involved, there's probably going to be drinks. And if there are drinks around and Kotono's there, well... we've all seen how she gets when she has some liquor inside of her."
"So, yeah, I'd like to involve my co-workers, just not my teammates. I mean, if they want to join, that's good. I already know what Ryūzō would say, but if Kotono wanted to join and she was sober, well... I wouldn't say 'no'."
Werewolf - What is their favourite part of Halloween?
"My favorite part of Halloween? Getting drunk, obviously!" Kotono answered, grinning.
"I mean, other than St. Patrick's Day, which we don't really celebrate here in Japan, Halloween is really just an excuse to get drunk and have a good time while dressing up. Our superintendent always throws the staff a Halloween party here in the Academy. And they always bring in some free drinks, which I'll never say no to. And the free food and candy isn't bad either!"
Cloak - Do they decorate for Halloween? If so, do they go all out, do they only put up a few, do they fall somewhere in between?
"Do I decorate for Halloween?" Kotono asks, before frowning. "No, I sadly don't decorate. Not saying I wouldn't like to, but... well, besides the fact that putting decorations up means having to take them down again, which I probably will neglect to do until Ryūzō comes to clean my apartment again, setting decorations up means that you'll probably be home, handing out candy, which I won't do since, as I mentioned, the staff have ourselves a little Halloween party every 31st."
Thanks for the ask!
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where-dreams-dwell · 11 months ago
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As I’m fascinated by What Ifs and alternate scenarios, and I’m going over back how I felt about Dex and Sylvie, I would LOVE someone to explore an alternate version of their lives.
(I also have a soft spot for rare-pairs, or in defiance of ‘the big destined love’. Every now and again. For balance and literary roughage.)
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Across Dex’s life there’s reinforced messaging that Dexter doesn’t know what he wants, that he lacks purpose and drive and care, and this frustration only adds to lots of his other struggles.
But there is one thing we’re told Dexter once cared about: at some point in his childhood Dexter *loved* photography.
His mum mentions it when they get lunch, and thought we realise later that she was dealing with lots behind the scenes then, her remembrance of this hobby and her retelling of it then are actually quite hurtful and ham fisted. She (in a loving way) disparages this hobby, implying that Dexter wasn’t very good at it, and that this obsession confused his parents who (by the sounds of it) didn’t support or nurture this love.
And that would be interesting enough, coming in the same conversation that she bemoans Dexters lack of purpose and worries that it will cause him unhappiness in his life. But Dexter’s reaction to this memory is fascinating.
Its startling to see him so uncomfortable. He seems genuinely hurt and confused by this summation of his hobby; whether this is in response to the general sense that his mum didn’t think he was very good, or specifically that it was directed at his fascination with photography we can’t know for sure. But it gives an impression that there *was* once something that Dexter loved to do, or was fascinated by, and it was disparaged by his parents who didn’t support his interest and now he is seen as generally lacking any purpose or anything he’s interested in.
However you look at it it’s an interesting juxtaposition within one conversation. (I also kind of wonder if other interests were also treated this way, and so Dexters lack of care or interest is partially a learned behaviour…but I digress)
We get a call back to this photography again much later in the series, when the camera focuses on several taped up photos of gravel on his childhood bedroom wall. Again whatever the intention of this, it does remind us as the audience of Dex’s previous hobby that was important enough to him that he still keeps mementoes of them on the wall.
And though Dexter struggles massively with purpose and direction, we see in his last years with Emma that with the right support (and probably following on from a period where he reached the right level of desperation to swallow his pride and self motivate) he can choose a direction and job that he enjoys.
So I kind of love to wonder what other way his life could have gone.
What if, for whatever reason, Dex and Sylvie don’t go to Tilly’s wedding? Whatever the reason, probably combined with Dex both wanting to see Em again but also being slightly terrified of it, they can’t make it.
So Dex and Em don’t get their emotional reconciliation scene; they still likely make up and become friends again (Sylvie is still preganant, they’re still getting married, Dex will likely still invite Em and Tilly at least) but without them having that time and privacy at Tilly’s wedding to lay out all their cards…. are they *as* close afterwards as they could have been?
Does a Dex who hasn’t fully regained that romantically-tinged friendship with Emma (they shared a quick kiss minutes after he shared he was engaged and about to be a father!) then turn to Sylvie more than he did in the series? With Emma back as a good friend but not kind of a flirty-friend does Dexter emotionally commit a bit more to Sylvie and their marriage?
As they don’t re-meet Callum at Tilly’s wedding I think it’s unlikely he’s invited to theirs, hence Dex probably doesn’t get an offer to work for him.
So a Dex who is still professionally unfulfilled, looking for job options and a change, right when everything else in his life is also changing (marriage, fatherhood)… does this Dex now have a similar level of desperation/motivation as the one who we saw in Paris? Could this Dex also find the motivation to retrain in a new field, but not as a chef (as he hasn’t worked in a cafe) but instead…. as a photographer?
There was *something* there that drew his attention and held it as a kid, something which a appealed to him and made him proud of his little foray into that world. And when people are struggling with purpose and direction, don’t they say go back to what you once liked?
A Dexter who rediscovers this childhood love, now with the focus and need of an adult to try something new: that would be interesting. Also I think Sylvie is a model (?) in the book, so if that’s the case she probably has contacts or friends to help her new husband learn the ropes. It might even help their relationship to have her able to help him work on that passion, and for him to have something he is definitively working towards: both for them and also to reassure her family.
Plus if they don’t meet Callum at Tilly’s wedding, who then doesn’t offer Dex a job, Sylvie won’t be having an affair with him. In addition being with a Dexter who is slightly more emotionally attached to Sylvie, with a new career to focus on, and who hopefully feels less impotent might mean Sylvie doesn’t feel the need to cheat at all?
Do I ultimately think they would stay together? Probably not. They do appear to have differences in personality which would mean they aren’t the best of bedfellows. Dex’s sense of humor is shown to grate when Sylvie needs reassurance, and Sylvies inability to relax comes across to Dexter to be a lack of trust or belief in his competency. I don’t think different circumstances would have magically ‘fixed’ these differences in attitude and personality.
But I do think they could have ended better, and had a nicer and more interesting middle-period, before they went their separate ways.
But a Dexter who got to explore that tiny bit of passion and interest we’re told he once had? That would have been a fun version of him to get to see. And the poetic irony of Dexter finding purpose in the field his mother once disparaged, who found that interest and passion she worried he lacked in something she dismissed and mocked, would have been so narratively satisfying and well tied off!
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