#shes like the marie kondo of knowing yourself every time you take an action shes like ok but is this YOU? at your core is this YOU?

[cosmicrhetoric]

i do think it's cute how many posts on here are like "i want to be granny weatherwax when i grow up!" like it's sweet but also yes the perfect grown human ideal that we all have to aspire to is a 70-something yr old huge bitch

[autodialog]

Depression

Hey there.

It’s been a couple of days. I thought you were going to check in more regularly.

I intended to, man, I really did. Life got a little muddled and I don’t have a clear head right now.

Are you sleeping?

We rotated our mattress and the past couple of nights after that I’ve been sleeping soundly and the mornings have been tough. My heel hurts and it makes walking a little difficult.

You should see your doctor about that.

I live in the US and pay an exorbitant amount for health insurance. You think that’s enough?

Fair point.

Plus every time I go I feel like I’m wasting their time.

That’s what killed Jim Henson you know.

Jim Henson was loved by an entire generation. I’m just me.

Boy, you sound depressed.

My wife keeps telling me that, but I don’t feel depressed, just unfocused and uninspired.

Have you checked the definition for depression lately?

No.

It might do you some good. You’re afraid of being depressed. You’re afraid of the label, because it means something is wrong with you, according to your way of looking at the world. You have a philosophy of action, so why aren’t you acting?

Because ... well, nothing seems important.

Yup. Depression. You’ve got it and you need to admit to it. It’s nothing to fear. It’s information, like any other emotion. It’s just a data point you need to consider and then act. You don’t want to do anything, so you have to force yourself to do something. Anything. You have a long to-do list.

And a longer project list. I know. Knowing how much I have to get done doesn’t help.

Your house is a mess and your brother is visiting in about six weeks.

Crap. I’m embarrassed about this place. Why am I embarrassed?

Because it’s disorganized. Clutter is good for you, we know that. You can’t work on a blank desk. Right now I can see the lamp, storytelling cards, journals, cds, books, and even an empty seltzer can.

I’m a slob.

You are slovenly, but that’s because you’ve let entropy take the reins. There’s nothing wrong with any of it. Even that crappy pocket watch you bought that doesn’t really work is fine. As long as it has a home.

When did you become Marie Kondo? Haven’t you heard she’s let that shit go.

No, she’s put it in its place. She has more important things. You can’t do some things because it takes too much energy to get them set up. You pause projects, you don’t kit them properly, so they are put away or in use or more likely sitting out under the tools of some other project.

When did you get to be so mean?

You think I’m being mean? We’ve worked with sales people. We know how to fake performative anger. Remember that time in church camp where you had to play the racist? You made that girl cry and didn’t feel a thing.

Because I was acting, I didn’t believe a word of it.

So you need to act like an organized, action-oriented person. You haven’t written anything on your latest story, and you haven’t compiled the critiques for the last story you sent across the table, and you haven’t even attempted anything for next week’s reading.

I know, I know.

You’re whining. Why?

Because I want to be productive. Not just at my job, which is rather insane right now, but in life. I want to do more than exist. I want to live.

And you don’t know how to do that. You don’t know how to have fun.

I have fun.

I mean fun with other people, outside. You have plenty of fun solving problems, but you aren’t even doing that?

Everything seems so damn hard right now.

But you know it isn’t. If it was really hard you wouldn’t have solved problems before. Look at the things on your plate. Nothing is impossible for you. It’s just putting pieces together.

I thought I was creative.

That’s all creativity is. It’s making connections and then methodically bridging the gaps. You’ve done it all your life and so you should have no problem sorting it out. You can’t expect to get it all done in a day.

I ... yeah, I’m impatient. I don’t want things to take time.

Then you’re being stupid. You’re stuck in a trap that says you can move between twelve different rabbit holes at the same time, because nobody else cares about what else you do with your time. Your time is theirs to waste.

No you’re being petulant. Did you forget the roles we play here? You’re supposed to be the wise one.

Maybe I am. Maybe I’m showing you how wrong you are thinking right now. So here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to read the prompts for Tuesday’s reading and you’re going to set a timer and you’re going to freewrite like it was NaNoWrimo again and you aren’t going to edit a single word, got that?

... yeah.

And then you’ll at least have something to edit, because you can’t edit a blank page. Good talk. Come back tomorrow.

[erin-gilberts]

Bc It’s such a good post will you answer all the cafe asks?

Yessss totally! 

Vanilla Chai Latte : Are you in love?

Yes, wholeheartedly and unapologetically, I am. 

My girlfriend and I have only been together for two months, but it’s one of those things where when you know, you know. I’ve been in relationships lasting upwards of a year where I still didn’t know at the end of them whether or not I was in love. Early on in the year, I was actually even having conversations with my mom about how I wasn’t sure I’d ever been in love; I had no concept of what that felt like. I didn’t feel like I was feeling what I was supposed to be in relationships. I wondered if I was aromantic and if I wasn’t meant to experience romantic love.

With her, I’ve realized everything love IS supposed to feel like, and I’ve realized I AM capable of feeling those feelings - I just hadn’t met the right person yet. My heart was waiting for her. 

We daydream of the life we intend to build together, and it delights me to be able to wake up every day and choose her, again and again, as we run boldly and breathlessly into the future we now share. We totally u-hauled but we’re both so committed to blooming and becoming together; it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before despite having quite a bit of experience in relationships. 

Flat White : Coffee or Tea?

Coffee. It feels more substantial to me with more ways to customize it exactly how you like it. I also just have a lot of really positive memories being in coffee shops! I’m currently obsessing over Starbucks’s seasonal salted caramel mocha. 

Cappuccino : What’s your middle name?

Elizabeth! I was named after my mother and grandmother, so it’s the only part of my birth name I kept when I changed my name. 

Mocha : Dream Job?

A famous professional organizer on the same level as Marie Kondo and Dorothy Breininger! They’re my inspiration and the reason I went into this kind of work. Also, the executive director of my own LGBT-focused nonprofit (which I have been, and I intend to be again!). 

Pumpkin Spice : Dream car?

The super fancy bike I’ll use the day I ride in the AIDS LifeCycle? Haha, I don’t drive and I don’t intend to! 

Jasmine Tea : If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

Ugh, if I could visit any place in the world right this moment, I’d choose to go back to Toronto in a heartbeat. I went there in 2015 for the Inside Out LGBT Film Festival and I LOVED that city. It was so fun and the people were so welcoming. Other than that? Moscow, because it’s where @googoogojob lives, or New York City, because I just learned Hook & Ladder 8 (the Ghostbusters firehouse) is a real place and I want to see it! 

Old English : You’re stranded on an island, who do you bring with you?

Do I have a limit?? If I have a choice, I’m definitely bringing my mom, brother, maternal grandparents, best friend, best friend’s family, cat, and girlfriend! That’s like the minimum amount of people in my life I couldn’t go without. 

Iced Chocolate : Do you have a crush on someone?

My girlfriend, who I continually redevelop a big gay crush on every day! But I feel like that’s not quite the spirit of what this question is asking, so - I also have a big gay crush on Kristen Wiig, which my girlfriend endlessly makes fun of me for! Like, to the point I named my cat Erin Gilbert. 

Caramel Frappe : Favorite video game?

It’s a tie between Minecraft and Undertale. I swing wildly between playing Minecraft daily to not playing for months, but it never gets old. The sandbox nature of the game enables infinite creativity, and the low stakes make it both accessible to me (not a gamer) and relaxing. And Undertale with its story and unique mechanics remains to this day the game to inspire the biggest emotional response in me. I’ve thought about having, “Despite everything, it’s still you” tattooed. 

Iced Lemon Tea : Favorite song/band?

My favorite songs of all time are “The Greatest” by Sia and “I Know a Place” by MUNA, both of which were written in the aftermath of the Pulse shooting and can be interpreted as the process of rediscovering queer joy at the same time your community is constantly faced with tragedy and pain. They hit hard in a beautiful way as a hate crime survivor. 

Iced Cafe Mocha : Favorite thing to do on rainy days?

I like to go out as soon as the storm passes and just walk downtown in the rain. The air always smells and feels so good; it clarifies me and I feel renewed. Walking in the light rain or before / after the storm always feels like breathing, really breathing, for the first time. It reminds me I exist and it reminds me that’s neat. 

Hot Chocolate : Are you an affectionate person?

Yessssss oh my god. I live and breathe being affectionate and not even in a strictly romantic sense. I’m naturally an exuberant person and I delight in making people happy. My girlfriend would also say I engage in “cat behavior” with my demands to be held or touching constantly. XD 

Caramel Macchiato : You’re travelling the entire world but you can only take one person with you. Who do you take?

My girlfriend @sweetmckinnon. Not only would we have the unprecedented opportunity to be gay in every country and continent, but we’re both writers, and we’d write an excellent book about these adventures! 

Green Tea : How tall are you?

5’7. 

Early Grey Tea : The inevitable Zombie Apocalypse is upon us! What’s your plan of action?

I’m rounding up everyone I care about and taking us to the nearest commune of marginalized people. We’ll be avoiding those uber-macho survivalist types like the plague, because their arrogance will 100% get everyone killed. At least marginalized communities would be more likely to understand working together and looking out for the community, not just yourself. 

Mint Tea : How do you relax?

Indoor cycling is my drug of choice. It’s HARD to be mad or stressed when you’re exerting that intensely. I might also write self-indulgent fanfics or indulge in a little controlled chaos (I’m an acrylic pour and collage artist). And talking to my girlfriend, best friend, or mom always makes me feel better, too. 

Vanilla Latte : Board games or drinking games?

I genuinely love board games and wish I had more people to play them with. 

Iced Coffee : Do you like reading? If so, what’s your favorite book?

I like reading, but having ADHD has made it extremely hard to read entire books in recent years. My favorite book is probably The Radium Girls by Kate Moore. The author takes what’s already a horrific story and a dark chapter in American history and with her devastating writing style, humanizes each woman involved to the point it makes you ache to read knowing the inevitability of their fate. Anytime anyone asks me for a book recommendation, this is the book I suggest. 

Italian Soda : Describe your dream date

My dream date would be after we’ve been together for a while - maybe on a date that’s special to us, like our anniversary, or maybe just on a random night because we feel like it, we have one of those super romantic dates like you see in the movies. We dress up super cute, go out to dinner and come home to a bedroom full of candles and rose petals on the floor, and every moment is spent just enjoying each other and what we have together in every way we can. <3 

Sparkling Water : Describe what qualities you look for in a person

Passion - I’m an activist who became the executive director of their own nonprofit at the age of 16. I’m not going to mesh with someone who’s just going through the motions of life without any aspirations. 

Flexibility - It’s a turnoff for me when someone is EXTREMELY committed to a very specific view of how their life is going to be. It tells me right away I’m going to have to continually contort myself to fit into their unbending path, because I accept I can’t predict the direction of my life with any degree of precision and I’m not rigid about it as a result. 

Creative - I’m currently dating another writer and it’s the most fun I’ve ever had in a relationship. The quickest way to get us to pop off into a spirited debate is to get us started about story structure and characterization. We. Go. OFF. And could go off for days. Our shared creative passion gives us endless ground to connect and bond on. 

Those are just a few, but definitely a few important ones for me! 

Orange Juice : Have you ever had a valentine?

My first girlfriend, who I dated from 12-17, is the only valentine I’ve ever had. The timing of my relationships as an adult has never worked out for me to be partnered on Valentine’s Day. We weren’t super out about our relationship at the time and didn’t spend Valentine’s Day together, but I still have the love letters she sent me copied into my 7th grade diary, and I still have the antique gold heart necklace with enamel roses she gave me one year, too! Lots of lovely memories from that relationship. 

Rose Hip Tea : Describe your first kiss

My first girlfriend and I were 12-13, cutting class in the bathroom because she was often bullied for her sexuality. She was having an especially rough day that day and I knew exactly where to find her. She kissed me out of the blue while I was comforting her and in all of my baby gay naivety, I hadn’t fully realized I was gay or that she liked me that way prior to that. Turns out I was and she did. We dated for five years. 

Herbal Tea : You’re at a candle shop, what scented candle do you buy?

Oh, I’m going right to the bakery scent section. I’m not a huge fan of chocolate-scented candles, but vanilla? Christmas cookies? Gingerbread? Sign me the FUCK up. 

Sandalwood is also one of my favorite scents, but depending on what it’s blended with, it can be hit or miss for me in candles. 

[hardlyfatal]

gary’s writing workshop: lesson 3:

Plot Structuring, Part 1

What is a story? Stories are accounts of transformations: situations, people, attitudes, establishments. If something isn’t changing, what is there to write about? Nothing.

Our job, as writers, is to describe the change and repercussions so that they’re effectively and entertainingly communicated to our readers with as much readability as possible. There are three components to managing it, which I’ll be going over here..

In this lesson, I’m going to ask you to change how you perceive and write stories.1

1. Plot Points & Purpose

Instead of looking at scenes from the outside – instead of looking at them from the POV of the reader, and considering their entertainment value – I want you to look at them from the inside. Or, rather, from below. From what basis, to what purpose, do they spring?

Scenes do not exist just to be entertaining. The wow factor is great, but it’s the icing on this particular cake. You can dress up a scene with elaborate setting, intense dialogue, brisk pacing, and boatloads of UST… but if they don’t move the plot along, they’re like a broken pencil: pointless.

Thus the new way to look at stories, at individual scenes, is to scrutinize them for purpose. The only purpose or reason any scene should make it into a story is because it moves the plot to its next point. These are in fact called plot points, and every scene requires one.

It’s a pretty existential way of looking at the matter, but it’s necessary, in order to create a satisfying tale that flows logically from one place to the next, that feels continuous and makes sense. Making sense is a very important, and often overlooked, aspect of storytelling.

Let’s use my story, Shoot the Moon, as an example. Going into it, I knew my overarching story premise: I wanted them to meet, hate each other, but slowly grow to learn about, become attracted to, eventually love each other, and then part. Not knowing that they actually lived in the same city, they meet again and reestablish their relationship. Finally, they find the motivation to overcome their personal demons to be together.

If you tease apart those plot points, you’ll see there are three acts:

They meet, hate each other, but slowly grow to learn about, become attracted to, and eventually love each other.

They part, not knowing that they lived in the same city, then meet again.

They overcome their misapprehensions about each other, and personal demons, to be together.

So how do I get them from A (beginning of each arc) to B (end of each arc)? The chapters in each arc have to have purpose; they have to have a point. Thus each scene was created to serve the purpose needed. A few examples:

I wanted Jaime to see how loving and gentle Brienne could be in contrast to her appearance and behavior to that point, so I created the scene where she shows the twins the bird eggs.

I wanted Brienne that, for all Jaime’s dickishness, he carried pain and perhaps deserved a bit of understanding and patience, so I created the scene where she confronts him and he reveals how he’s been parenting the twins by himself since his wife died.

I wanted to show Brienne’s persisting lack of self-esteem and reinforce Jaime’s attraction to her, so I created the scene where Arianne opened the door in just a robe, exposing most of her goodies, and Jaime hardly noticing because he was paying attention to Brienne instead.

As long as your story is driven by plot points– that make sense – that’s it. You’re probably suspicious of how simple it is, but it really is just that uncomplicated.

Despite that simplicity, I see a lot of people including gratuitous scenes, the purpose of which is to stroke the reader’s kink for whatever (hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, drama, etc.) instead of to push the plot forward. Either nothing much occurs in the scene, or it’s merely a reiteration of plot development and exposition that has already occurred before.

In the case of the latter, you need to have self-discipline and choose one or the other. There is no need to repeat yourself in romantic fiction – it just bogs things down and kills the pacing. Redundancy is wasted time and effort. If you’ve made a point, the point is made and does not need repeating. Have you noticed yet that I’ve said the same thing four times in this paragraph, just worded differently? Yeah.

In the case of the former, it just needs to go. If it’s dead weight, it’s dead weight. Be like Marie Kondo: thank it and let it go.

That’s not to say that hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, and drama can’t be included. They absolutely can and should be; they just need to have a point, and you only need to make that point once.

The point of a hurt/comfort scene could be one of them learning to trust the other, or discovering they have the capacity to be gentle and caring with another person, or that being vulnerable – with the right person, i.e. the other half of the couple – is not only safe but freeing.

The point of fluff could be one of them revealing they feel secure enough to let their inhibitions down and show spontaneous affection, or to show their joy in being able to openly express their love instead of having to keep it hidden and fearful.

The point of smut could be one of them developing the confidence to be a more active or even dominant lover, or show their surprise to be given pleasure for their sake instead of used for their partner’s satisfaction before their own, i.e. that they matter as well and that they doesn’t have to sacrifice their own pleasure in order to make the other person happy.

The point of a dramatic scene could be an expression of any of these – trust, capacity for gentleness, security in the other’s affections, confidence, realization of self-worth, revelations of secrets – possibly with some sort of action-y component. Is there a dramatic revelation that will somehow directly impact the romance between the couple?

To illustrate what I mean, I chose to deconstruct a scene from the show specifically because it is so spare of dialogue (relatively speaking), to show you how effective scenes can be even when there’s not a lot of verbal exposition, at least about the true reason for the scene.

This scene has nothing to do with her loyalties to the Starks or Catelyn Stark, though it may seem that way at first. It exists to give Jaime an opportunity to get to know Brienne better in ways that speak to her core personality and character.

Example:

TV!Brienne takes on three Stark men – who had killed a group of prostitutes after servicing Lannister soldiers – while Jaime watches. Youtube link, if you’d like to watch it to see exactly what happens..

Reason it was included:

To give the audience not only more evidence of her fighting prowess but also insight to her thoughts/feelings (her pity for the prostitutes in particular and of women’s plight in being under the control of men in general, and that she’s empathetic to the point of being vengeful on behalf of others who have suffered).

To make the audience understand that Jaime is now aware that Brienne is a formidable fighter; is not an empty braggart/can back up her claims of ‘knocking men into the dust’; is passionate enough about her convictions to fight and kill for them; is brave enough to face, and skilled enough to defeat, three men at once; is more committed to her loyalty to other women than she is to the Stark cause.

What was accomplished:

Jaime sees her as more than just her unusual appearance or another random person who loathes him like everyone else or a Stark lackey. She becomes a real person to him in this scene.

2. Making the Reader Give a Damn

You have to retain the reader’s interest from one chapter to the next. If you lose them along the way, you’ve lost any reason to keep going with the story. I know we all tell ourselves “I’m just having fun!” and “I’m doing this for myself!” but I think we all agree, though maybe just secretly, that it’s kind of bullshit: stories are made to be read by someone, somewhere.

If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? If no one reads our stories, was it worth the effort of writing them? If we’re boring the pants off our readers, why bother? Maybe it’s because you love to know you’re making others happy, maybe it’s because you love the appreciation you receive, whatever. IDK your life. But for the most part, there’s some external validation going on, and if others are quitting your story in the middle, or foregoing your stories entirely because past things you’d written had been unreadable, you’re just shouting into a void.

The main issues where readership hangs in the balance are pacing and description (setting, blocking, inner voice/narration). We’ll go over all of these to a greater degree in later lessons. For now, I’ll just say… if these are compromised, you’re going to be giving a skimpier, shallower, boring-er version instead of the lushly-detailed story it could have been.

3. Making Sense

Getting them sucked in with your word-picture and the flow of plot points is only two-thirds of the job: you also need to make sense. And before you start yapping about suspension of disbelief, yes, that’s a thing, but it only goes so far. There are certain premises than can stretch credulity and still work, but others that go too far and just ruin it.

This is one of our Battles of the Balance: you have to find how far you can go until it just doesn’t work and starts to feel stupid. It negatively impacts readability because it’s so outlandish that it tugs the reader from their reading trance and makes them wonder WTF you’re trying to do because what you just wrote is highly improbable. It kills the story’s readability. It’s important to stay grounded and retain an open mind about your balance in this regard. You need to be able to analyze what you’re doing and seeing if it is going over the top rather than blindly trusting your first impulses and, worse, ignoring feedback that indicates that you need to tone it down.

This is why the work of A Certain Someone fails: she contends that human people are able to produce bodily secretions to a volume that is not physically possible. She loses us because she forewent logic for the payoff she was reaching for (presumably arousal?). Instead of us getting all into the smut and romance, grinning dirtily, instead we frown and grimace because we’re imagining rivulets and puddles and sodden carpets and crusty mattresses, etc. And her ego prevents her from understanding that she is imbalanced in this way, with the result that she keeps churning out fic after revolting fic that many potential readers avoid.

It’s also why Mary Sues and Gary Stus spur such a knee-jerk loathing in so many people. It’s fine to give your characters fine, admirable qualities, but if you heap them on, or don’t counter them with just-as-significant flaws, it will no longer make sense because it’s illogical that anyone would be so fantastic and lacking in defects.

Chekhov’s Gun3 vs. Deus Ex Machina

Chekhov’s Gun2 and Deus Ex Machina are two sides of the same coin: the need for continuity. If it happens earlier, there needs to be resolution later. If it happens later, there needs to be mention (aka ”foreshadowing”) earlier.

Chekhov’s Gun is a literary principle stating that elements in a story have to be relevant. The presence of superfluous details constitute ‘false promises’ on the part of the author, because they’re offering a concept to the reader that will never have any point.

This doesn’t mean you should never mention non-essential things that have no bearing on the plot for fear of creating Chekhov’s guns willy-nilly; you need to create ambiance with description of setting, etc. It just means don’t make a point of mentioning something beyond its level of importance to the story. Brienne’s nose is mentioned as being crooked to emphasize her ugliness as well as symbolize her atypically unfeminine lifestyle since the huge majority of Westerosi women don’t get their noses broken, due to their less active lifestyles. Jaime’s nose is mentioned… never, because it doesn’t matter.

Disclaimer: I am terrible at the Chekhov’s Gun thing, because I have a shitty memory and will put in a detail that I fully intend to do something with… only to completely forget it exists and never mention it again. This is bad. Do not do as I do on this one. I mention it because it’s a continuing issue I struggle with and continue to work on. My poor betas...

Deux Ex Machina is a plot device whereby a problem, conundrum, obstacle, or mystery is solved when an unlikely resolution presents itself without any hints or foreshadowing earlier in the plot, often in such a convenient way that it feels contrived and anti-climactic.

Example that I just cooked up: The big fight in King’s Landing, Jaime and Brienne fight a pitched battle to reach the throne room where Cersei is seated upon her pile of swords. Together, they manage to defeat Gregor Clegane and just as they’re about to confront the queen, Arya pops up3 from behind the throne to tug on Cersei’s left earlobe. Turns out, Cersei is actually an android and had been malfunctioning for a long time, hence her erratic behavior. Bran had a vision about where her off-switch was, and used magical mind-speak to tell his sister how to cut Cersei’s power. Et voilà!

Example that actually happened in the show: Dragons fly at the speed of light and can whisk people around a continent comparable in size to the United States in an hour or two. Similarly, ships can navigate long distances at a fraction of the time supported by actual reality, and horses can rocket down the Kingsroad like Maseratis, if the speed with which Brienne and Pod made it from Winterfell to the dragon pit is any indication4.

Homework

If you are currently working on a story: create an outline of its plot in terms of each scene’s purpose. Identify any gaps in the progression of plot points, and come up with ways to bridge those gaps.

If you are not currently working on a story: do this with one of the stories you have already published. Think up what you could have done differently, or what you could have inserted, to connect the loose ends.

If you are not currently writing anything, and have never published anything: Take one of my stories, nothing too short because it won’t have enough transitions to make the effort meaningful, and nothing too long because LOL this is supposed to be fun, and do as instructed above. I suggest Signs of Life, Vision of Love, or Full Fathom Five because of their middling lengths. Identify gaps, and suggest fixes for them.

Remember to look for connections and flow from scene to scene, NOT chapter to chapter.

Footnotes

1 – Unless you already do this, in which case… well done! Carry on! 

2 – This refers to Anton Chekhov, Russian author, not any Star Trek character.

3 – I SWEAR TO GOD I wrote this months ago, before the last season. Wish I hadn’t been prescient about it... *weeps*

4 – Like, I know about the compression of time through editing but COME ON.

© 2019 to me

[dailydoseofbeautiful-image]

1) IT’S OKAY TO FAIL

I’m not sure how other 34 year olds feel when their 35th birthday is coming up. As for me, I felt like my failures grew more apparent. Celebrate what you HAVE accomplished and be grateful for another day.

2) CRAVE TO BE A BEGINNER AGAIN

I’ve been wanting to try something new for a good minute. Like point number one, it’s okay to fail at something! This goes hand in hand with being a beginner. I strongly believe in being a student of life. I always wanted to learn a new language.

3) LOVE YOUR PARENTS

We are often so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old! If you needed a reminder to call your parents, this is it. Do it now! My mom is my world. She was my worst enemy as a teenager but now my best friend as an adult <3

4) MOVE AT YOUR OWN PACE

Fuck what everyone is doing on Instagram. Fuck what your high school friends are doing. Fuck what your college friends are doing. Live your life at your own pace. If you had kids or want kids before marriage, fuck it. If you chose your career before a man, FUCK IT. You will move at the pace that is meant for YOU.

5) SO LIVE THE LIFE AND TAKE EVERY CHANCE TO BE AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN BE..

Being true to yourself takes guts. First, you’ve got to face everything around you and figure out what is important; what you think really counts ;). second, you’ve got to interact with a lot of people who may see things differently.

6) RELATIONSHIPS

No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater... The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. and that’s the key. it’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.

7) SOULMATE

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah.. too painful. soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then Leave.

8) 30S ARE BETTER THAN YOUR 20S

It’s the same! Except we’re still young enough to have fun without making dumb decisions. We’re also more mindful financially! We always have experienced and seen things and know what not to repeat. I feel a little more at ease at 30. I’m caring less about what other people think. I really don’t have energy for it anymore!

9) WEAR THE FUCKING SUNSCREEN

My mom always told me to wear sunscreen on my face. I never listened. I have a lot of sunspots on my face now! Wearing sunscreen helps protect you from skin cancer, wrinkles and sunspots/freckles. If you aren’t listening to ya mama, listen to me! lol I wear Glossier’s Invisible Shield, but they’ve been sold out for a good minute. So, I’m currently using Super Goop’s Sunscreen Moisturizer. So far, it hasn’t made me break out!

10) TAKE OFF YOUR MAKE UP BEFORE BED

At the very least, keep some make up removal wipes beside your bed! I know we’re tired af at the end of the night, but you’ll be doing your skin a huge favor in the long run. Just know that make up wipes don’t take off everything, you’d be surprised how much is still on your face! So always try to go further and do your skin care routine.

11) LIFE

This Life is what you make it. no matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes. it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girl’s will be your Friends - they’ll act like it anyways. but just remember, some come, some go. the ones that stay with you through everything- they’re your true best friends. don’t let go of them. As for Lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And i hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if yoi give up, you’ll never find your soulmate, you’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will? so keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.

12) GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT

Everyone on social media posts their highlight reels but only a few share the grit and grind behind it all. Don’t forget to give yourself credit even for the smallest things that you don’t think is “post worthy”. Pat yourself on the back!

13) BE MORE SELF AWARE OF HOW YOU REACT TO OTHERS

I strongly believe in the butterfly effect. How you treat others can leave a positive or negative effect on them. I always try my best to be kind to others. If I can’t be kind, I’m very quiet! Even if people are mean to me, I think deeper like are they having a bad day? Maybe my kind act can help them change their mood.

14) BE NICE AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN

Best recipe to live by. So many people offer a lending hand but expect so much in return.

15) DON’T FORCE THINGS – LET IT FLOW ORGANICALLY

Someone who forces shit to happen is ignorant & aggressive. You can’t force relationships or friendships to work out. It doesn’t work that way if it’s ONE SIDED. Sometimes, TIME helps a situation out. Let it play out, what’s destined to be yours will be yours!!! All relationships should be bloomed organically. Always try to understand one another. Some people don’t move like you and that’s okay.

16) YOU DON’T TOLERATE PEOPLE OR SITUATIONS LIKE YOU USED TO

Enough said. Ain’t no body got time for that.

17) IT’S NORMAL TO SEE A THERAPIST

You don’t have to be “crazy” to see a therapist. I did and it was life changing. There’s a huge stigma with mental health, but it’s actually more common than people think. People struggle with it daily but hide it because of the stigma. I also found out that students who are trying to become a therapist offer free or very affordable services to those who don’t have insurance! Check out any college and I’m sure you’ll find something fitting!

18) MEDITATE.. DO THAT SHIT PLS

Practice your breathing too! Headspace is really helpful app that concentrates on various subjects: anxiety, depression, stress, etc. I don’t meditate long! It can be as little as 3 minutes. Taking a moment to find yourself again can help you in the long run.

19) NOW’S THE TIME TO SEE THE WORLD

BITCH, you better be planning to travel!!!!! I can’t emphasize this enough. If you’re a woman reading this, we MUST DO IT NOW. Before you have kids, just do yourself this favor. You won’t regret it. Seeing parts of the world has broaden my perspective immensely!

20) MARI KONDO THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR LIFE: CLOTHES, BOOKS…PEOPLE

I’m at this point in my life where I’m looking at everything and everyONE and ask myself, does this spark joy?! It’s completely necessary for you to start fresh and say thank you to things and people who no longer serve a purpose in your life.

21) IF YOU DON’T HEAL WHAT HURT YOU, YOU WILL BLEED ON PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T CUT YOU (@THEASLAYWAY)

You can’t rely on someone else to fill the void you were supposed to heal yourself first. Don’t be selfish and make sure that you are completed healed when moving on to the next partner!

22) DO WHAT YOU WANT, POST WHAT YOU WANT, LIVE HOW YOU WANT!!!!

WE AINT GIVIN A FUCK IN 2019 & MOVING FORWARD. Go ahead and post what you want. We’re not living for the validation of others.

23) DON’T LIVE SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAM

Currently trying to get through this right now. lol

24) MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH

This goes with 17 & 18. If I sound like I’m repeating myself, then it’s because I really am adamant about it! I didn’t always have GAD, but when I realized I had it, I learned to take the necessary steps to control my anxiety. I realized working out in the gym is not the only “exercising” I should be doing. I should be practicing affirmation, gratitude & meditation.

25) BE CAREFUL WHO YOU GET CLOSE TO

Some people really just in it for the gossip. Keep your circle tight and you’ll be aiite. For me, being in the social media industry has led me to meet several people. It’s rare to meet someone genuine, so I always make sure I keep my distance but still always show respect and give them an opportunity to open up.

26) OTHER PEOPLE MAY BE TOXIC IN YOUR LIFE, BUT MAKE SURE YOU’RE NOT THE TOXIC ONE

As you get older, accountability will help you grow. Owning up to your actions towards others can help you realize how you react towards others or situations. Before pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. I’m a strong believer of what you give this world is gonna come back to you.

27) PLEASE DON’T WORK OUT ON ONLY BOOTY AND ABS

I remember signing up for the gym and telling the membership counselor my goal was to grow a bigger butt and get abs. I’ve learned that your body works as a whole unit, not in isolation! Overall strength over aesthetic is the wave! I love being strong <3

28) RESEARCH HOW YOU CAN IDENTIFY PERSONALITY DISORDERS

You’ll come across people in your life that you can’t see eye to eye with. It could be family, your partner or your friends. I think it’s important to grasp a better understanding of personality traits/disorders such as narcissism, bipolar, emotional abusers, psychopaths, etc. They come or are in your life more often than you think! Not only do I suggest to gain insight on it, but also I recommend researching how to DEAL with it. I promise you things will come to light once you do.

29) LOVE YOURSELF – YOU CAN’T SERVE FROM AN EMPTY VESSEL

Your 20s are your selfish years. Remember to put yourself FIRST. We cannot love someone successfully without loving ourselves first. Our first love should be ourselves to know how WE want to be loved. We must feel secure before stepping into anything serious. Live life for yourself, be gracious and love yourself wholeheartedly.

30) BEFORE YOU ARGUE

Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of different perspectives? Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.

31) NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

never take responsibility for ppl not seing your worth. There was nothing u could have changed them. No perfection would have made them loyal. No sacrifice would have them made committed. Stop taking blame for decisions that aren't yours

32) Success is never owned.. it’s rented, and the rent is due everyday. -pacman

33) SOMETIMES

I care too much, I trust too much, I think too much, I love too much, everything about me is just too much. But even so I wouldn’t want to change that about me. Just holding onto the hope that one day my “too much” will be everything someone could ever want.

34) FROM GOOD THINGS TO BAD THINGS

From good things, we learn to be a thankful person. From bad things, we learn to be a strong person. Remember that everything will not go the way you want it to. It's a matter of learning that life isn't handed to you. Stop worrying about what others want. Think about what you want, if you listen too much to what people say about you, you will never be who you really are.

[bookshelfdreams]

I started Tidying Up with Marie Kondo recently (after I saw this HuffPo article on my dash) and apparently there's a whole controversy around her method? People seem to be really, really mad at Kondo for some reason. Spoiler alert: That reason is racism, but I do thin there are other factors playing into it as well.

What really strikes me about her method is how easily accessible it is. She doesn't tell anyone to buy containers or better furniture. She doesn't even tell her clients to get rid of certain things (and just fyi, she certainly doesn’t hate books). All she does is give tips on how to tackle an overwhelming mess, how to decide what is worth keeping and how to store things so that they're easily accessible. That's all (and tbh to me that seems a lot more useful than someone telling me to get rid of duplicate pens and store all my shit in mason jars). She gives the clients tools to help themselves. And I think the typical reality-TV audience is used to something different. Kondo comes into your house, doesn't lose a negative word, tells you where to start your work and checks in on your process every week or so. That's the exact opposite of what shows like this normally do, isn't it? Normally, the host comes in, shames the candidate, does all the cleaning and decluttering, and refurnishes the house while they're at it. There might be some useful tips in there somewhere but ultimately, what these shows provide isn't help but an escapist fantasy: one day someone will come and deal with this for you and your life will be fixed. They don't empower the candidate, in fact they tell them "you'll never be able to fix this on your own, let me do it for you".

Kondo expects her candidates to do all the work themselves (again, while being an asian woman who doesn’t speak much English, and the importance of this shouldn't be understated). The big reveal is for the audience, and it is the candidates who are beaming with pride when they show their new home. For the audience this isn't a fantasy, it's a call to action: you created this mess and you are capable of fixing it. There's no magic cleaning fairy, but you can do it.

It's certainly not as comfortable. It means realizing that if you want a clean, organized home you'll have to do the heavy lifting. But it is also a lot more sustainable - how long is a complete home makeover gonna last? But if you did everything yourself, you know how to do the maintenance. Kondo's candidates learn more than just how to fold ties; they learn how to value their possessions, how to decide what is worth acquiring, and how to let go of things that are no longer needed.

And this I think is where a lot of the hatred and backlash stem from. It's a bit like getting personally offended when your drinking buddy decides to quit alcohol: if they acknowledge that there is a problem that needs fixing that might mean YOU have a problem too! Of course that doesn't need to be the case. If you're happy with your home and your life, that's awesome! Kondo isn't talking to you. But if the mere suggestion to sort through your closet full of clothes you haven’t worn in 3 years makes you so angry you have to write an entire book about how that’s bullshit you might want to ask yourself why exactly that is.

Her method is a clearly defined, understandable step-by-step instruction that most people should find helpful in some way - obviously not everything she does will work for everyone but she shows how to get started. How to take the journey of tidying up one step at a time, no matter how intimidating it seems. Again, she doesn't tell people how many items they're allowed to own. She's not gonna break into your house and burn all your unread paperbacks. Why are you so angry?

In fact, her method reminds me a lot of the good people over at @unfuckyourhabitat, although they come at it from different angles. UFYH is more about “Where to start when your home looks like a dump” - but the central message is the same. "If you're unhappy with your living space you need to change it. I can't do it for you but here are tools that should help". That seems to hit a nerve with people. And no matter how many cold takes people write on how really it's consumer culture that's to blame, or how Kondo thinks "clothes have feelings" and that's silly (nevermind that thanking items for their service really does relieve the guilt of getting rid of them), or how chaos is essential for creativity (it's not) - the fact remains that Kondo really helps people.

And at the end of the day, if someone is drowning in clutter, smugly telling them "Well, you should never have gotten that stuff in the first place" won't help them. "Embracing the chaos" just makes things worse. But telling Kondo to fuck off is a lot easier than acknowledging that you personally are able to improve things, isn't it.

(And to the people who deliberately and maliciously misunderstand her: This article sums up my feelings better than I ever could. Thanks)

[edwardian-sea-witch]

So. I don’t want to get into the Marie Kondo discourse (she’s a lovely person who does not deserve this hate) but. I’m going to share an opinion on the bookcase issue that started it all. I am, and have been for most of my life, one of “those people” who defined themselves by the fact that they like books, that they own a lot of books, that they’re constantly rearranging their living space to fit more books in. I’ve done the rainbow bookshelf, I’ve organized my library by subject and by author title and by genre. At one point I probably had near 200 books in my bedroom. Looking at them on the shelf made me happy because it was an aesthetic, because it was something I loved presented in a way that made it really clear to other people what my priorities were.

And yet. Every time I reorganized or moved my furniture or tried to squeeze another volume onto the shelf, I ended up culling 20 or more books that I found taking up space, unwanted or unread or unliked but kept to gather dust because books. I’ve always had a shelf of favorites I would never get rid of, but as for the rest of them... getting ready to move out of my house, I had to look around at the things I’d accumulated over 18 years and ask myself why I kept them. Suddenly the stacks and stacks of books that had defined me felt like heavy weights pulling me down and keeping me in place. 

To be well-read is not the same thing as to own a handsome library. It’s easy to buy up collections of the finest literature any scholar would nod approvingly to see, but tell me what good that does if you’ve never the time nor the will to read through them? What good is a book if it is never opened, or is read through once and then kept cramped among a hundred others, never again to see the light of day? How can one claim to love books when they reduce them to the object, paper and cardboard and ink, when it is their language, contents, stories that give them their purpose and yet could be transmitted without the aid of paper at all? 

So. I have no say in your actions, only hope that you might listen. To keep books for the sake of their shape rather than their purpose strips them of their function as surely as a bird in a cage. And absolutely: keep those ones you’ve read, and treasure, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you weep and the ones that make you sit up at two AM reaching for something that isn’t there. Bring books into your home and read them, new ones, old ones, stuff yourself on ideas and opinions and stories and instructions and memories. But if you know, or you think, or you grudgingly admit that this book means no more to you than the paper it’s printed on

please. let it go. give it away, lend or sell or donate. Share. words are no use when no one else can hear them.

[doodlesbysamiel]

There is this thing Marie Kondo does when teaching people to tidy up. She will take a piece of clothing, look at it appreciatively, and say "Thank you, and goodbye". She tells people to thank every little knick-knack and piece of clothing they throw out or donate.

How silly is that? Saying thanks to a t-shirt or bauble that you're about to bin. How absurd! It's a piece of junk, what sense does it make to treat it like it has feelings. Not like it cares if you say goodbye to it.

But it makes perfect sense. She's not getting us to do it for the item's sake, but for ours. We as human beings form sentimental attachments to almost everything we own, and some people are more prone to this than others and end up keeping a lot of clutter we don't need and just take up space (I am certainly guilty of this). The act of actively thanking and bidding farewell to an item acknowledges this fact and allows up to severe that emotional connect in a healthy way. Simply by saying "thank you for helping me to see what I do and don't need. Thank you for playing a small part in my life. I'll always remember you. Goodbye." We are able to move past a connection to something that may not be healthy for us to keep around, while also acknowledging how important it was to us.

When we say goodbye to a friend, or a loved one, because you may never see them again, for one reason or another, we get emotional because we are effectively severing that same kind of connection just on a larger, more meaningful scale. Even if you only say it to yourself years later. We say "It's been a pleasure knowing you, thank you for everything. Goodbye."

It's by doing this, I think, that we allow ourselves to grow without being held back by the things we've outgrown, while also being able to look back on those memories fondly.

And I think the same can be done for our past selves.

I have always looked back on my past selves with distain for mistakes I've made, actions I have or haven't taken. For just generally not being good enough, and I'm sure there is more than one person reading this who holds similar feelings. We wish we were better, we wish we could just move on, and not be tied down by the memories of our past selves.

But maybe if we were to practice what Marie Kondo preaches that may just be the balm we need. To look at our past selves at the different stages of our lives and say "thank you, and goodbye." To step back, take a deep breath and look our past in the eye and finally accept what has happened has happened and we are who we are because of it, or better and for worse. Then, most importantly, promising we will continue to grow and become better than we are now. So that in 5, 10 or 15 years later we can look at who we are now and do the same.

It's this a perfect idea? Absolutely not. Is it an instant fix? God no. What it is, or rather what it can be, is either a start, or a close. To being whatever healing process we need to grow. Or to be the book end of a chapter of our lives we have been struggling to move on from.

Do it in what ever form you deem fitting. Sing a song, write a letter and keep it in a drawer for a particularly dark day, or burn it, or like me, write a rambly stream of consciousness that might vaguely be called an essay. Whatever you want.

Just take your time. You are worth it.

[wellpersonsblog]

Wellness Over Things: A New Way of Approaching the Holidays

I never realized how much stuff was involved in a typical holiday until I had a daughter. 

During her first real Christmas (she was born about a week before Christmas, so that one doesn’t count), she received more presents than the rest of my family combined. 

Easily. 

Toys, books, dolls, blocks, clothes, bikes…

You name it, it was probably under my tree for her to open. 

There was even a Yoda doll about twice her size.

(She was more excited about him in real life.)

And my daughter? After the first few gifts, all she wanted was time to play (and nap). 

But while it might not have stood out as much until she was born, even as adults, the amount of money and energy we spend on things during the holidays is staggering. 

We live in a world of instant pleasure — notifications on your phone, same-day delivery, and streaming shows whenever you want — which bleeds into a culture of buying and giving gifts you don’t actually need. 

… A running watch to replace my 2-year-old running watch? Yeah, I probably don’t need that.

…. Mugs, dishes, and random kitchen gadgets? I probably don’t need those either. 

… A fifth way to make coffee? OK, I’m intrigued. I’ll take it.

You get the point. 

Fast fashion and inexpensive throw-away products fill our houses and online shopping carts, only to then fill junkyards or clutter our closets.

So what if this year, we did something different … 

… What if instead of investing in yet another thing to fill a junk drawer or countertop, we invest in our — or our loved one’s — wellness.

Wellness over things. 

Now now, before you go roll your eyes on over to the next article, hear me out: 

Things are important. I often need new clothes, appreciate new tech, and am never disappointed when someone gives me a new way to make coffee. 

Plus receiving things is nice, and the joy of giving is unmatched. I love to see how excited people get giving my daughter gifts, and the smile it brings to her face when opening them. 

But far too often when I buy something new for myself or a loved one, their health never comes to mind. 

But what better gift could you give yourself or someone else than health and wellness?

Wellness Over Things… in Action

Reducing things is pretty trendy right now. Marie Kondo and her method of tidying up is not only mentioned by Matt and I often on NMA Radio (it really did change our lives), but it has also gone totally mainstream with a Netflix show everyone seemed to be talking about.

Most people these days are thinking about decluttering, minimalism, and downsizing more and more.

But in all those cases, it’s not just about reduction, it’s about being intentional and focusing on what’s important. 

And that’s exactly what we’re trying to do with Wellness Over Things. Encouraging ourselves (and you!) to focus on the most important thing: 

Wellness.  

Because when you’re healthy, you feel good. And when you feel good, you’re a better partner, parent, friend, and athlete. 

Here are just a few examples of what that could look like: 

Subscription service to a health app like Headspace or Aaptive.

Gym or yoga studio membership.

Gift certificate to a plant-based food delivery service like Veestro or Purple Carrot. 

Health books and cookbooks.

Online wellness programs that focus on fitness, nutrition, or mindset. 

It wouldn’t be hard to create a list 5x as long, and that’s the point…

There are countless ways to invest in wellness this holiday season. To take your interests and the interests of your loved ones, and double down on wellness. 

And you know what? I’d appreciate any of those options more than something else that takes up space on my shelf. 

Wellness Over Things… a Movement

This holiday season, No Meat Athlete wants to start a movement. 

A movement away from throw-away things and towards our health and wellness. 

We’re undoubtedly going to keep purchasing gifts — for ourselves and our loved ones — only this year, we’re choosing wellness to come first. 

… Supporting our own health comes before another throw-away item. 

… Supporting the wellness of our loved ones comes before a gift they don’t want or need. 

… Supporting companies that promote our values comes before another Big Box purchase. 

And that feels pretty damn good. 

Now we want you to join us this year in choosing Wellness Over Things. 

We’re even starting a #WellnessOverThings hashtag to make it official (every movement needs a hashtag, right?)! 

So tell us, how can you choose Wellness Over Things this year?

Spread The Word

Start by sharing your #WellnessOverThings plans to spread the word. Together we can start a movement.

Want to share on Instagram? Save the image, open Instagram, and well, I think you can figure it out from there. Don’t forget to use #WellnessOverThings

The post Wellness Over Things: A New Way of Approaching the Holidays appeared first on No Meat Athlete.

First found here: Wellness Over Things: A New Way of Approaching the Holidays

[alltimebestbooks]

Top 20 Books Impact my Life

Who Moved My Cheese: An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life

With over 2.5 million copies sold worldwide, Who Moved My Cheese? is a simple parable that reveals profound truths

It is the amusing and enlightening story of four characters who live in a maze and look for cheese to nourish them and make them happy. Cheese is a metaphor for what you want to have in life, for example a good job, a loving relationship, money or possessions, health or spiritual peace of mind. The maze is where you look for what you want, perhaps the organisation you work in, or the family or community you live in. The problem is that the cheese keeps moving.

In the story, the characters are faced with unexpected change in their search for the cheese. One of them eventually deals with change successfully and writes what he has learned on the maze walls for you to discover. You'll learn how to anticipate, adapt to and enjoy change and be ready to change quickly whenever you need to.

Discover the secret of the writing on the wall for yourself and enjoy less stress and more success in your work and life. Written for all ages, this story takes less than an hour to read, but its unique insights will last a lifetime.

2. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships

‘A treasure’, ‘a bible’ and ‘an heirloom’ are some of the words used to describe the book that has saved countless relationships and improved innumerable others. Now repackaged to relate to a new generation of readers, this phenomenal book continues to carry its legacy of understanding and trust into the world.

Since its first publication, over a staggering 15 million copies of MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS have sold globally to single men and women looking for guidance on how to find the perfect partner, married couples seeking to strengthen their bond, and divorcees hoping to fathom where it all went wrong.

Gray’s insights into how to allow your other half to “pull away” like an elastic band, prevent your emotional baggage from polluting your current relationship, and translate the phrases of the opposite sex are as relevant now as when they were first published.

With straightforward, honest writing from that precious male perspective, Gray unlocks the secrets hidden in your partner’s words and actions to enable you both to reach true mutual understanding and a lifetime of love. Discover for yourself why thousands believe that MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS should be mandatory reading for everyone.

3. Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World

One of the most valuable skills in our economy is becoming increasingly rare. If you master this skill, you'll achieve extraordinary results.

Deep Work is an indispensable guide to anyone seeking focused success in a distracted world.

'Deep work' is the ability to focus without distraction on a cognitively demanding task. Coined by author and professor Cal Newport on his popular blog Study Hacks, deep work will make you better at what you do, let you achieve more in less time and provide the sense of true fulfilment that comes from the mastery of a skill. In short, deep work is like a superpower in our increasingly competitive economy.

And yet most people, whether knowledge workers in noisy open-plan offices or creatives struggling to sharpen their vision, have lost the ability to go deep - spending their days instead in a frantic blur of email and social media, not even realising there's a better way.

A mix of cultural criticism and actionable advice, DEEP WORK takes the reader on a journey through memorable stories -- from Carl Jung building a stone tower in the woods to focus his mind, to a social media pioneer buying a round-trip business class ticket to Tokyo to write a book free from distraction in the air -- and surprising suggestions, such as the claim that most serious professionals should quit social media and that you should practice being bored.

Put simply: developing and cultivating a deep work practice is one of the best decisions you can make in an increasingly distracted world and this book will point the way.

4. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

Marie Kondo will help you declutter your life with her new major Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.

Transform your home into a permanently clear and clutter-free space with the incredible KonMari Method. Japan's expert declutterer and professional cleaner Marie Kondo will help you tidy your rooms once and for all with her inspirational step-by-step method.

The key to successful tidying is to tackle your home in the correct order, to keep only the things you really love and to do it all at once – and quickly. After that for the rest of your life you only need to choose what to keep and what to discard.

The KonMari Method will not just transform your space. Once you have your house in order you will find that your whole life will change. You can feel more confident, you can become more successful, and you can have the energy and motivation to create the life you want. You will also have the courage to move on from the negative aspects of your life: you can recognise and finish a bad relationship; you can stop feeling anxious; you can finally lose weight.

Marie Kondo's method is based on a 'once-cleaned, never-messy-again' approach. If you think that such a thing is impossible then you should definitely read this compelling book.

5. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Values, and Spiritual Growth

Confronting and solving problems is a painful process which most of us attempt to avoid. Avoiding resolution results in greater pain and an inability to grow both mentally and spiritually. Drawing heavily on his own professional experience, Dr M. Scott Peck, a psychiatrist, suggests ways in which facing our difficulties - and suffering through the changes - can enable us to reach a higher level of self-understanding. He discusses the nature of loving relationships: how to distinguish dependency from love; how to become one's own person and how to be a more sensitive parent.

This is a book that can show you how to embrace reality and yet achieve serenity and a richer existence. Hugely influential, it has now sold over ten million copies - and has changed many people's lives round the globe. It may change yours.

6. The Six Pillars of Self Extreme

Nathaniel Branden's book is the culmination of a lifetime of clinical practice and study, already hailed in its hardcover edition as a classic and the most significant work on the topic. Immense in scope and vision and filled with insight into human motivation and behavior, The Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem is essential reading for anyone with a personal or professional interest in self-esteem. The book demonstrates compellingly why self-esteem is basic to psychological health, achievement, personal happiness, and positive relationships. Branden introduces the six pillars-six action-based practices for daily living that provide the foundation for self-esteem-and explores the central importance of self-esteem in five areas: the workplace, parenting, education, psychotherapy, and the culture at large. The work provides concrete guidelines for teachers, parents, managers, and therapists who are responsible for developing the self-esteem of others. And it shows why-in today's chaotic and competitive world-self-esteem is fundamental to our personal and professional power.

7. The Compound Effect: Jumpstart Your Income, Your Life, Your Success

Do you want success? More success than you have now? And even more success than you ever imagined possible? That is what this book is about. Achieving it. No gimmicks. No hyperbole. Finally, just the truth on what it takes to earn success As the central curator of the success media industry for over 25 years, author Darren Hardy has heard it all, seen it all, and tried most of it. This book reveals the core principles that drive success. The Compound Effect contains the essence of what every superachiever needs to know, practice, and master to obtain extraordinary success. Inside you will find strategies on:

How to win--every time! The No. 1 strategy to achieve any goal and triumph over any competitor, even if they're smarter, more talented or more experienced.

Eradicating your bad habits (some you might be unaware of!) that are derailing your progress.

Painlessly installing the few key disciplines required for major breakthroughs.

The real, lasting keys to motivation--how to get yourself to do things you don't feel like doing.

Capturing the elusive, awesome force of momentum. Catch this, and you'll be unstoppable.

The acceleration secrets of superachievers. Do they have an unfair advantage? Yes, they do, and now you can too!

If you're serious about living an extraordinary life, use the power of The Compound Effect to create the success you desire. Begin your journey today!

8. Becoming: Now a Major Netflix Documentary

In a life filled with meaning and accomplishment, Michelle Obama has emerged as one of the most iconic and compelling women of our era.

As First Lady of the United States of America - the first African-American to serve in that role - she helped create the most welcoming and inclusive White House in history, while also establishing herself as a powerful advocate for women and girls in the U.S. and around the world. She dramatically changed the ways that families pursue healthier and more active lives, and stood with her husband as he led America through some of its most harrowing moments. Along the way, she showed us a few dance moves, crushed Carpool Karaoke, and raised two down-to-earth daughters under an unforgiving media glare.

In her memoir, a work of deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling, Michelle Obama invites readers into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her - from her childhood on the South Side of Chicago to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time spent at the world's most famous address. With unerring honesty and lively wit, she describes her triumphs and her disappointments, both public and private, telling her full story as she has lived it - in her own words and on her own terms.

9. Meditations to Heal your life - Lousie Hay

Louise shares her philosophy of life on a multitude of subjects from addictions to fears to spiritual laws, and everything in between.

Her loving insights will enrich you body, mind, and soul, while giving you practical knowledge to apply to your day-to-day life.

10. The Power of Positive Thinking - Norman Vincent Peale

The book describes the power positive thinking has and how a firm belief in something, does actually help in achieving it. In order to live a successful and constructive life, one needs to know about the secrets of positive thinking says the author for it is the most important ingredient for a better and blissful life. The Power of Positive Thinking' will help you overcome negative attitudes, such as fear and lack of confidence and replace them with the traits of a positive thinker optimism, determination, patience and focus.Simple techniques of elevating low moods and energy levels by positive thinking also improve ones overall mental and physical health.This book will show you how you can deal more effectively with tough situations and difficult people and dramatically improve your performance and confidence. You must learn that the easiest way to an easy mind is to create an easy mind. This is done by practice and by the application such as "Believe in yourself and in everything you do", "Build new power and determination", "Improve your personal and professional relationships" and "Be kind to yourself" etc.

11. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge. How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?

In the #1 New York Times international bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.

The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.

Includes the Couple's Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.

12. Confidence: Think Big, Believe big, Achieve Big - Norman Vincent Peale

About the Book: Confidence Think Big, Believe Big, Achieve Big Believe that problems do have answers. And believe you can solve them. Lift yourself up in the face of conflict Finding ways to be enthusiastic in the face of difficulty Become a confident person that friends and loved ones can turn to In Confidence, Peale shares invigorating and confidence boosting ways to face your difficulty, conquer stress when it seems insurmountable. He will help you find new confidence and purpose in all that you do. Youll learn, among many things: how each problem contains its own solution how to never lose faith and gain a new heart when disheartened how to live a life full of meaning and be enthusiastic in your day-to-day life; and how to discover and fully realize Gods potential for you! About the Author: Norman Vincent Peale Norman Vincent Peale has published over forty best-selling books, including his most popular one, The Power of Positive Thinking, which has sold more than twenty million copies in 41 languages. For more than 60 years, Peale was pastor of Marble Collegiate Church, one of the oldest churches in America, located in New York. He was considered one of the most skilled Christian communicators of the twentieth century.

13. I can make you rich - Paul McKenna

If you've ever wondered why it is that some people find it easy to make money while others struggle, it's not because they are more intelligent, work harder or have better luck - it's simply because they think and act differently.

Do you want to make more money? Do you want to improve the quality of your life? Do you believe you can be rich? What if it was easier than you think? Over the past decade, Paul McKenna PhD has made a unique study of the mindset of people rich not only in money but also in happiness and quality of life. In this groundbreaking new book, he makes use of proven psychological techniques to help you install that same rich mind-set inside yourself. Soon, you will be seeing the world in an entirely new way, thinking and living richer than ever before!

14. The 21 Success Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires: How to Achieve Financial Independence Faster and Easier Than You Ever Thought Possible

Do you ever hear about a self-made millionaire in the news and wonder: how did they achieve it? In this book, Brian Tracy walks you through the hidden secrets of what makes self-made millionaires, and shows how anyone, no matter where they are in life at this moment, can become a millionaire. The advice in this book is based on Brian Tracy's twenty-five years of research, teaching, and personal experience on the subject of self-made millionaires. Tracy himself used these ideas to rise from humble beginnings to become a millionaire. And Tracy has discovered that all successful people practice these 21 success secrets, whether they're consciously aware of it or not. In The 21 Success Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires Tracy not only identifies and defines each success secret, but also reveals its source and foundation, illustrates how it functions in the world, and shows how to apply it in life and work through specific steps and practical exercises that everyone can use. Easy to read, easy to understand, and easy to apply, this book shows how anyone can cultivate the habits and behaviors that will enable them to achieve not just financial independence, but success in any area of life. Because, as Tracy writes, "The most important part of achieving great success is not the money. It is the kind of person you have to become to earn that money and hold onto it."

15. Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex

“No matter where you are and no matter what stage of life you are in, Relationship Goals will be a game changer.”—Levi Lusko

Realer than the most real conversation you’ve ever heard on the topic, Michael Todd’s honest, heartfelt, and powerful teaching on relationships has already impacted millions of people in all seasons of life around the world. Now, in Relationship Goals, Michael tells his own story of heartache and healing, unpacks explosive truths from God’s Word, and tells it to you straight to help you win at relationships in every part of your life.

Where did the idea for relationships come from in the first place? Does God really care who I hang out with? Is it even possible to avoid relational train wrecks? From his plan for intentional dating in the age of social media to handling break-ups well to doing family instead of just being in a family, Michael tackles the questions we all have about relational success.

As he candidly examines our most common pitfalls in relationships and the start-today ways to get past them, Michael helps you align your longings with God’s awesome desires for your life. Now, that’s a good relationship goal.

16. 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell

What would happen if a top expert with more than thirty years of leadership experience were willing to distill everything he had learned about leadership into a handful of life-changing principles just for you? It would change your life.

John C. Maxwell has done exactly that in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. He has combined insights learned from his thirty-plus years of leadership successes and mistakes with observations from the worlds of business, politics, sports, religion, and military conflict. The result is a revealing study of leadership delivered as only a communicator like Maxwell can.

17. The New Psychocybernetics The Original Science of Self-Improvement and Success That Has Changed the Lives of 30 Million People by Dr. Maxwell Maltz and Dan Kennedy

With over 30 million copies sold since its original publication in 1960, Psycho-Cybernetics has been used by athletes, entrepreneurs, college students, and many others, to achieve life-changing goals--from losing weight to dramatically increasing their income--finding that success is not only possible but remarkably simple. Now updated to include present-day anecdotes and current personalities, The New Psycho-Cybernetics remains true to Dr. Maltz’s promise:“If you can remember, worry, or tie your shoe, you can succeed with Psycho-Cybernetics!”

18. Attitude Is Everything: Change Your Attitude ... Change Your Life!

Do you dread going to work? Do you feel tired, unhappy, weighed down? Have you given up on your dreams? The road to a happier, more successful life starts with your attitude-and your attitude is within your control. Whether your outlook is negative, positive or somewhere in between, Jeff Keller, motivational speaker and coach, will show you how to take control and unleash your hidden potential through three powerful steps: -THINK! Success begins in the mind. The power of attitude can change your destiny. -SPEAK! Watch your words. How you speak can propel you towards your goals. -ACT! Don't sit back. Take active steps to turn your dreams into reality. Soon, you will be energized and see new possibilities. You will be able to counter adversities and develop talents unique to you. Your relationships will improve, both at work and in your personal life. All you need is this step-by-step programme to change your attitude and your life!

19. I Hope I Screw This Up: How Falling In Love with Your Fears Can Change the World

A New York Times bestseller! In this irreverently funny, one-of-a-kind book, transformational comedian Kyle Cease shows you how to love failure and follow your heart, release the addictions of your mind, and live in a state of infinite possibility.

If Eckhart Tolle and Jim Carrey had a baby, that baby would be Kyle Cease.

After twenty-five years of achieving what he thought were his dreams of being a headlining touring comedian and actor, Kyle Cease suddenly discovered that the belief that “When something happens, I will be happy” is a complete lie. With nothing more than an intuition, he decided to quit his stand-up career at its peak, and now—as a transformational comedian, he brings his one-of-a-kind self-help wisdom to sold-out audiences in his Evolving Out Loud Live stage show.

In I Hope I Screw This Up, he disarms readers as he leads them to their own personal breakthroughs, helping them to recognize that actual happiness and fulfillment is available to them—not in some distant future, but right now. As he has shown audiences all over the world, when you embrace your pain, fear, and vulnerability instead of pushing it away, you will discover an authentic creativity and power that is truly unstoppable.

Using self-deprecating personal stories, hilarious observations on life, and poorly drawn illustrations, Kyle unravels the deepest issues standing between us and emotional freedom. From discovering the never-ending opportunities that come from playing—and going with whatever comes up in the moment—to learning to let go of what feels heavy in our lives, this book is a journey into the endless possibility that can appear if we just dare to let go of our fear of screwing up.

20. The Art of War by Sun Tzu, Thomas Cleary

Compiled more than two thousand years ago by a mysterious warrior-philosopher, The Art of War is still perhaps the most prestigious and influential book of strategy in the world today, as eagerly studied in Asia by modern politicians and executives as it as been by military leaders since ancient times. As a study of the anatomy of organizations in conflict, The Art of War applies to competition and conflict in general, on every level from the interpersonal to the international. Its aim is invincibility, victory without battle, and unassailable strength through understanding of the physics, politics, and psychology of conflict.

This translation presents the classic from the point of view of its background in the great spiritual tradition of Taoism, the origin of psychology, science, and technology in East Asia and the source of the insights into human nature that underlie this most revered of handbooks for success. Translated from a standard collection of commentaries on Sun Tzu's text by eleven interpreters, the work has been edited by Thomas Cleary to bring out the meaning of the principles of strategy. In addition, the translator provides an extensive introduction discussing the content and background of the book.

[timclymer]

How to Marie Kondo Your Website

9 Website Redesign & Refresh Tips

You’ve probably heard of Marie Kondo by now: she sparked a whole movement of decluttering, and has a Netflix show called “Tidying Up With Marie Kondo.”

Also known as the KonMari method, her focus is on organizing your home by getting rid of items that do not “spark joy.”

While her method applies more to dresser drawers and workspaces, there’s no reason why you can’t Marie Kondo your website! Just like your home and office, your site needs to be cleaned from time to time.

Here are 9 website redesign and refresh tips to help you get the most out of the experience:

Do a content audit

You can’t see where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been, right? A content audit is about taking inventory of all the content on your site so that you can see what’s relevant and what’s not.

If you’ve got blog posts that are years old, it’s time to decide if there’s value in repurposing them with up-to-date content, or taking them down. We’re doing this right now as we prepare to revamp our website. Many of our very old articles are either being trashed or repurposed for future, more up-to-date articles.

Be careful not to kill a blog post that’s driving a huge chunk of your traffic, but don’t hold on to every article if the info is no longer relevant or your target audience has changed.

Also, if you have products or services available online, make sure the description and pricing for each is current.

Revisit your content strategy

While you’re doing your content audit, explore your analytics to see what content people are spending time on and what content is performing poorly.

Once you have a clear picture of your best-performing articles, blogs and videos, you can work on creating fresh and engaging content and / or repurpose the right stuff.

It can be helpful to create a content calendar that breaks down weeks or months by theme.

Let’s use marketing for health coaches as an example. In January, you might want to focus on healthy eating, breaking bad habits and fun workouts to tie in with New Year’s resolutions.

In June, you could focus on water-based workouts, refreshing summer meals and the importance of sunscreen. Brainstorm a list of ideas and go from there!

Make sure your pages look good on mobile

You should be keeping mobile in mind every time you create a new piece of content, and now’s the time to take an even closer look.

Too many business owners put all their energy into website redesign, neglecting this critical part of the user experience. Or, some business owners feel their audience doesn’t use mobile to access their site.

This is a poor assumption that can have huge ramifications. Many people are browsing your website, reading your eNewsletter and checking out your blog on their smartphones. If in doubt, check your Google Analytics that will tell you how much website traffic comes from mobile phones.

Ensure web pages are easy to follow, buttons are big enough to click on and no content is lost when you’re looking at it on a smartphone.

Check for broken links

This is another great way to dust off your website. Broken links not only annoy and potentially drive away visitors (often sending them right to your competition), but they’re also bad for your search engine rankings.

There are various tools that let you scour your site for broken links, so use them.

Update your About Us page if needed

Do you have bios from employees who left six months ago? Has your company received new awards or accolades?

If a potential client lands on your site and sees outdated info, they’re going to think twice about buying from you, so keep your About Us page fresh and polished.

Ensure your software and plug-ins are up to date

This is essential not only to tidiness, but to website security.

You may be tempted to ignore those messages telling you to update to the latest version, but they’re essential to prevent security vulnerabilities and keep your site at optimal speed and functionality.

This is especially crucial if you have access to visitors’ information such as credit card numbers and email addresses.

Consider a site refresh

Maybe your business has evolved and you want to rebrand your logo. Or, maybe you’re seeing photos from two years ago on your “What’s New” page!

Let’s use the example of a health and wellness website design. If a health coach originally worked with millennials with limited budgets but now targets pregnant and breastfeeding women for meal and exercise planning, he or she would need to add brand messaging, photos and content that appear to the new target audience.

Small changes can make a big difference, but make sure you’re rebranding for the right reasons if you’re thinking about updating a key part of your brand identity. Here’s one of my blog articles that might help: The Right Reasons for Rebranding Your Business Logo.

Check for clear calls to action

You need to show visitors what to do, or else what they’ll probably do is leave. Now’s the time to fix clunky CTAs that aren’t working (look at your stats for insight) or find pages where they’re missing.

Here are some things to keep in mind when you’re optimizing your CTAs:

Use actionable text that draws in your visitor (think “Download the eBook” not “Click here”).

Make CTA a main focus. If you have lots of links, images and copy competing for attention, your call to action could get lost.

Create urgency with words like “today” and “now.”

Experiment with the first person. According to a study by Unbounce, changing button text from the second person (“Start your free trial”) to the first person (“Start my free trial”) resulted in a 90% increase in clicks.

Strong CTA for coaching website

Speed ​​up your site

Do some pages on your website take a long time to load?

According to MatchMetrics, 14% of your audience will start shopping at another site if your page loads are slow, and 23% will simply stop the shopping experience or walk away from the computer.

Take a long look at your hosting provider, image sizes and videos and installed plugins to start to get to the root of what’s causing your lagging responsiveness.

Whether you’re just freshening up your online presence or need to do a complete website redesign, get professional help if needed.

Imagine having the time and energy to be creative, network, build strong business relationships and do what you love to do while an experienced, skilled and passionate “all-in-one” boutique firm relieves you of the burden of having to know how to do it all yourself.

Source by Susan Friesen

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/how-to-marie-kondo-your-website/ via Home Solutions on WordPress from Home Solutions FOREV https://homesolutionsforev.tumblr.com/post/187662609555 via Tim Clymer on Wordpress

[homesolutionsforev]

How to Marie Kondo Your Website

9 Website Redesign & Refresh Tips

You've probably heard of Marie Kondo by now: she sparked a whole movement of decluttering, and has a Netflix show called "Tidying Up With Marie Kondo."

Also known as the KonMari method, her focus is on organizing your home by getting rid of items that do not "spark joy."

While her method applies more to dresser drawers and workspaces, there's no reason why you can't Marie Kondo your website! Just like your home and office, your site needs to be cleaned from time to time.

Here are 9 website redesign and refresh tips to help you get the most out of the experience:

Do a content audit

You can't see where you're going if you don't know where you've been, right? A content audit is about taking inventory of all the content on your site so that you can see what's relevant and what's not.

If you've got blog posts that are years old, it's time to decide if there's value in repurposing them with up-to-date content, or taking them down. We're doing this right now as we prepare to revamp our website. Many of our very old articles are either being trashed or repurposed for future, more up-to-date articles.

Be careful not to kill a blog post that's driving a huge chunk of your traffic, but don't hold on to every article if the info is no longer relevant or your target audience has changed.

Also, if you have products or services available online, make sure the description and pricing for each is current.

Revisit your content strategy

While you're doing your content audit, explore your analytics to see what content people are spending time on and what content is performing poorly.

Once you have a clear picture of your best-performing articles, blogs and videos, you can work on creating fresh and engaging content and / or repurpose the right stuff.

It can be helpful to create a content calendar that breaks down weeks or months by theme.

Let's use marketing for health coaches as an example. In January, you might want to focus on healthy eating, breaking bad habits and fun workouts to tie in with New Year's resolutions.

In June, you could focus on water-based workouts, refreshing summer meals and the importance of sunscreen. Brainstorm a list of ideas and go from there!

Make sure your pages look good on mobile

You should be keeping mobile in mind every time you create a new piece of content, and now's the time to take an even closer look.

Too many business owners put all their energy into website redesign, neglecting this critical part of the user experience. Or, some business owners feel their audience doesn't use mobile to access their site.

This is a poor assumption that can have huge ramifications. Many people are browsing your website, reading your eNewsletter and checking out your blog on their smartphones. If in doubt, check your Google Analytics that will tell you how much website traffic comes from mobile phones.

Ensure web pages are easy to follow, buttons are big enough to click on and no content is lost when you're looking at it on a smartphone.

Check for broken links

This is another great way to dust off your website. Broken links not only annoy and potentially drive away visitors (often sending them right to your competition), but they're also bad for your search engine rankings.

There are various tools that let you scour your site for broken links, so use them.

Update your About Us page if needed

Do you have bios from employees who left six months ago? Has your company received new awards or accolades?

If a potential client lands on your site and sees outdated info, they're going to think twice about buying from you, so keep your About Us page fresh and polished.

Ensure your software and plug-ins are up to date

This is essential not only to tidiness, but to website security.

You may be tempted to ignore those messages telling you to update to the latest version, but they're essential to prevent security vulnerabilities and keep your site at optimal speed and functionality.

This is especially crucial if you have access to visitors' information such as credit card numbers and email addresses.

Consider a site refresh

Maybe your business has evolved and you want to rebrand your logo. Or, maybe you're seeing photos from two years ago on your "What's New" page!

Let's use the example of a health and wellness website design. If a health coach originally worked with millennials with limited budgets but now targets pregnant and breastfeeding women for meal and exercise planning, he or she would need to add brand messaging, photos and content that appear to the new target audience.

Small changes can make a big difference, but make sure you're rebranding for the right reasons if you're thinking about updating a key part of your brand identity. Here's one of my blog articles that might help: The Right Reasons for Rebranding Your Business Logo.

Check for clear calls to action

You need to show visitors what to do, or else what they'll probably do is leave. Now's the time to fix clunky CTAs that aren't working (look at your stats for insight) or find pages where they're missing.

Here are some things to keep in mind when you're optimizing your CTAs:

Use actionable text that draws in your visitor (think "Download the eBook" not "Click here").

Make CTA a main focus. If you have lots of links, images and copy competing for attention, your call to action could get lost.

Create urgency with words like "today" and "now."

Experiment with the first person. According to a study by Unbounce, changing button text from the second person ("Start your free trial") to the first person ("Start my free trial") resulted in a 90% increase in clicks.

Strong CTA for coaching website

Speed ​​up your site

Do some pages on your website take a long time to load?

According to MatchMetrics, 14% of your audience will start shopping at another site if your page loads are slow, and 23% will simply stop the shopping experience or walk away from the computer.

Take a long look at your hosting provider, image sizes and videos and installed plugins to start to get to the root of what's causing your lagging responsiveness.

Whether you're just freshening up your online presence or need to do a complete website redesign, get professional help if needed.

Imagine having the time and energy to be creative, network, build strong business relationships and do what you love to do while an experienced, skilled and passionate "all-in-one" boutique firm relieves you of the burden of having to know how to do it all yourself.

Source by Susan Friesen

from Home Solutions Forev https://homesolutionsforev.com/how-to-marie-kondo-your-website/ via Home Solutions on WordPress

[weedwaiter45-blog]

Ask Me Anything: Q&A

Ask Me Anything: Q&A - Bikinis & Passports

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Well, that escalated quickly! A good 10 hours ago, we were at the airport waiting to board to New York City with a 1.5 hour delay. So I decided to use the question tool on Instagram Stories for the first time and posted a “ ask me anything” call to action. Little did I know there was lots of things you were burning to know… I received so many questions from you (so many good ones, also!), that answering all of them in my stories would be borderline spam. Hence, I decided to make use of the 9-hour flight and jot them down in one big Q&A blogpost. That way, the answers won’t disappear after 24 hours and you may get to know me a little better.

How did you meet your boyfriend? 12 years ago in school. He was attending the HAK and I was in the Gymnasium next door. I was the new girl from California and he wrote me on Uboot (which was before Myspace in the good old days).

Favorite boutique in Vienna? Amicis, Duft & Kultur, Lederleitner Home + Inked.

How do you manage to deal with your travels, relationship and household all at the same time? My boyfriend also works and travels a lot, so there is a mutual understanding there. We have our wonderful Anita who helps with the household once per week and I think that if you love what you do, it always helps and seems only have as bad!

What is your favorite city to travel to? So difficult! I love the L.A. lifestyle and it feels like home, but NYC is pure magic. In Europe, I love Rome and Paris but would not want to live there!

In which city could you imagine living? Mike and I always wanted to go to college in Munich, and it is still a city I love! But nothing beats Vienna in terms of quality of life!

Do you think that there is still a chance to make it big in this Instagram fashion business now? Yes! Quality always wins! If you create unique, creative content, it will pay off sooner or later!

What is your favorite running interval training? 20 minutes of running sprints on the treadmill, alternating between 1 minute at 14km/h and 2 minutes at 8.5km/h. Such a torch and super effective!

What do you eat on the flight back home when you can’t prep your meals? I usually wash the containers I came with and stock up at a health food store with things like pre-made quinoa salads or hard-boiled eggs. If this is not an option, apples, nuts, raw bars and lots of water!

Why do you never take pictures with your boyfriend? I do – I just don’t post them <3

Where are you heading? New York City for 4 days to see the Weeknd, Dua Lipa and Migos at a festival on Randall Island.

What are you especially thankful for in life? 1000% for my family! It is an absolute privilege to grow up with and surrounded by so much love and support at home.

What are your dream destinations? Where do you really want to go? Bali is at the very top of that list, followed by South Africa, Fiji and Vietnam!

Favorite brunch spots in Vienna? Vienna is a great place to have breakfast or brunch, my favorites are The Guesthouse (serving breakfast until 11pm), Motto am Fluss, Salonplafond, Ulrich and/or Erich and the acai bowls at Superfood Deli.

What are your favorite trends of the season? I am loving satin (midi) skirts, wrap skirts, lots of white, linen-inspired fabrics, loose fitted pants and timeless sandals (like the Hermes Oran sandals or Nu Pieds by Saint Laurent)

Do you still have fitness “goals” (ie. More workouts, more yoga,…)? Not really. I am super happy with my 3-4 workouts per week at the moment and the flow I am in. However, I do want to incorporate more yoga and regular runs again.

Favorite book? Can’t decide (forever a fan of Harry Potter, To Kill A Mockingbird and The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants).

What products do you use for your hair? Currently shampoo & conditioner by Playe + the Moroccan hair oil. But I also love Kerastase, The OUAI and Aveda.

Why do you never show your boyfriend? No reason in particular! Despite loving social media, I (we) think it is important to keep certain things private – he is one of them!

Does your assistant only work for you or The Daily Dose also? What does she do? She only works for me and her tasks always vary. She does a lot of organizational stuff (book keeping, post office,…) but is also in contact with clients or does research for new posts.

Were you always organizes or did you have to learn to be? I feel like social media can be misleading. While a lot of travel definitely requires a lot of organization, my life is far from organized. If you see a clean corner of my apartment on Instagram, chances are the other side of the room looks like a bomb exploded… just sayin’

Are you in Vienna at the end of August, beginning of September? We are going to Tuscany with the entire family and I couldn’t be more excited!

How long have you and your boyfriend been a couple? It will be 12 years in September!

Why the “new girl from Cali”? Did you live there? Why did you move to Austria? I lived in Southern California from age 10 to (almost) 16 because my dad worked there. And we also moved to Austria for the same reason.

Which district in Vienna would you recommend for living? Many! Every district has beautiful corners and some that are not so hot! My favorites are 4, 5, 6 and 7. The Servietenviertel in the 9th district is beautiful, the outer 19th and 18th… like I said, so many!

When will the home-workout videos by your personal trainer be available for purchase? Soon! The video team is currently working on the last rounds of edits!

Coolest places for girls week out in Vienna? Lunch, dinner? I would make sure to have lunch at Mochi, sundowner drinks at Tel Aviv Beach or the 25 hours rooftop bar, an afternoon glass of rosé at Naschmarkt, dinner at Motto in the 5th district, brunch at The Guesthouse Vienna or Motto am Fluss and if you like people watching, have some bubbles and small bites at Schwarzes Kameel in the first district or drinks at the Fabios bar. Classic cocktail bar: Roberto’s or Kleinod.

In what job/profession do you see yourself at age 40? Content creation, for sure! That could be social media, strategic input or photography – but definitely something creative and preferably still in self-employment!

Have you been to Budapest? What languages do you speak? Yes, I have been to Budapest twice (beautiful city, very similar to Vienna in many ways). I speak fluent German and English, plus a few bits and pieces of French.

Where do you see yourself in 10/15 years? With a family, still working (yay for working moms, we can really do it all) side-by-side with my best friend, living in an apartment that we own and I spent all my free-time remodeling to our likes, traveling a lot and learning to speak a different language fluently.

Do you ever regret having started with Social Media? No! I think if you practice a healthy relationship with/on social media, it is a beautiful source of inspiration and communication. Plus, I have my career to thank for it!

Which boutiques can you recommend in Munich? Unfortunately, Munich is not my hometown, so not really any – except I always stop by Theresa when I am in town!

Favorite flowers? I love flowers in general, but peonies, hydrangeas and wild garden roses are definitely at the top of the list.

All time favorite spots in Vienna? Fabios has the best Italian food and great service, The Guesthouse is my favorite hotel (and love their brunch), Mochi is a must, Motto am Fluss has a great breakfast, Neni at Naschmarkt and Roberto’s is a cool bar. But there are so many more!

How tall are you? 172cm

Favorite restaurant in Vienna? Fabios! Never fails!!

Daily make-up essentials? A tinted moisturizer or bb cream with SPF, mascara and bronzer and some sort of an eyebrow product (or even better freshly tinted brows!)

Where do you find interior inspiration? Good question! Probably the most via Pinterest and travels. I am such a sucker for stylish hotels and always find so much inspiration when traveling. I also pick hotels based on their interiors and style a lot of the time. Also, a cool boutique in NYC (think: the Apartment by The Line), stylish café in LA or a pretty restaurant in Paris can be a source of inspiration!

Books that have helped me develop as a person? Wow, such a good but tough question. I am not sure if any single book has had a particular impact, but I do think that The Circle (social media control/obsession) was a good read even though I didn’t like the end and earlier this year I read Magic Cleaning by Marie Kondo and am determined to clean out our apartment (and life) in a major way! Also, I am currently reading The Marshmallow Test and if it comes close to the reviews, I am sure it will help me develop as well!

Do you want to get married? Yes! But let’s not forget that a wedding/marriage comes in all shapes and sizes.

Is there a discount code as part of your Pandora collaboration? I am currently not actively collaborating with Pandora. All the jewellery I wear from them is just because I love it. So unfortunately: no.

Where did you get your jade roller? Is it also available in the US? I ordered mine via Cult Beauty and paid around 17€ for it. And yes, they are also available in the US – try amazon!

Are you originally from California? Nope, born in Stuttgart, Germany!

Do you want to get married and have kids? Yes and yes.

Are there rules you eat by? There are a few basics that I keep in mind when it comes to nutrition. I try not to snack, instead have 3 full meals per day with 4-5 hours between each meal. I try to have protein with every meal, eat tons of vegetables and usually don’t have anything raw (uncooked) at night because it is hard for the body to digest. I eat carbs mostly for breakfast and lunch, rarely at night.

What sign are you? Aquarius

Favorite districts in Vienna? 1st, 4th and 5th, 6th, 7th and corners of the 3rd.

What is your best tip for a long and healthy relationship? Funny enough, I have been working on a post about this exact question for over a week now. It will probably be live on Sunday of this week and will include not 1 but 10 tips! However, my no.1 tip is probably brutal honesty and the ability to fight or disagree (in a healthy, respectful manner).

What made you happy today? A text message from my mom the first thing in the morning, wishing us safe travels. Mom’s are the best, right?

What’s your favorite color, and also color combination (especially for outfits)? I am not sure I have a favorite color. Even though I wear almost every color, none of them are particularly “my favorite”. I love a neutral color palette and also think they are the easiest to work with in terms of outfits. White, beige, gray, black… and in my world, leopard is also considered a neutral!

What are your plans for the next years? Both for work and private! I have never been someone to plan ahead too much. I just try to stay open for every opportunity that comes along. For work, we have a few exciting things in the making for The Daily Dose, which we are not ready to talk about just yet, and privately I still have a few destinations on my travel bucket list before I start thinking about family (and stuff).

What is your favorite athletic brand? Definitely Lululemon. The quality is amazing and the cuts usually very flattering. A new brand I am loving is aimn, Puma has recently made some really cool stuff and of course the regulars like Adidas and Nike. I also wrote a blogpost about my favorite workout wear here.

What is your favorite spot for hot days in Vienna? In all honesty: our terrace. Such a lame answer and not very helpful to you guys. But the outside space is the reason we fell in love with our current apartment. Nothing makes me happier than a BBQ with friends on a hot day. In terms of spaces that are open to the public, I think Tel Aviv Beach is great for drinks or Pratersauna for good music and an occasional dip in the pool!

outfit details: ZARA sweats (aka my travel pants), Anine Bing shirt, Chloé beltbag, Hermes sandals

Favorite brand for dresses? Overall, I think Self-Portrait. I think the price-point is more than fair, the styles beautiful and the quality good. Lately, though, I have really been loving Ganni (especially dresses and skirts) and of course, Zimmermann makes beautiful dresses as well!

Favorite podcasts? I don’t listen to a lot of podcasts, but The Goop is my favorite that I have come across so far. Even though I find myself drawn to topics around health, fitness and food, I thought the recent one called “who are you in a crisis?” with the spiritual legend Marianne Williamson was extremely powerful!

What are you reading right now or have read recently that you’d recommend? I am going through a phase where I prefer guides/studies to novels. Magic Cleaning by Marie Kondo was one of those and currently I am reading The Marshmallow Test about the ability of self-control and how it goes hand-in-hand with a successful, fulfilled life!

What are your favorite skincare products at the moment? My routine is simple: micellar water to cleanse, a hydrating or calming serum + moisturizer. Currently, I love the micellar water by La Roche-Posay or Caudalie, the Bobbi Brown remedies (80 + 86), Dior Capture Youth serums (Redness Relief + Plump Filler), the Charlotte Tilbury Miracle Cream and Crème de la Mer moisturizer.

Favorite dinner spots in Vienna? Depends entirely on the mood/occasion. But Fabios or Mochi is where we always have our date nights.

What motivates you and how do you find motivation? My biggest motivation in life is spending my time doing things I love. Having turned my hobby into a job is the biggest blessing and is pure motivation itself. Even though it also includes tasks that I really have to force myself to do (accounting, for example). The procrastinator that I am, deadlines have always been one source of motivation for me. Also, purposefully slowing down can be really motivating. To me, slower/calmer phases are always a good source of inspiration because I am not constantly chasing a to-do list but have time to let my thoughts wander and creativity spark.

How do you edit your photos on Instagram? I usually only use the app VSCO cam (filters A4 or C8) and all the tools within the apps to adjust brightness, saturation, grain,… it always depends on the original photo. For some effects I like Afterlight and if I need to make a pimple disappear, Facetune is the app.

What do you think about fasting in-flight? Probably not a whole lot. I am the type of person who likes to use food to pass time and I am a boredom snacker. My in-flight meals and snacks are ways to make the flight go by faster. Even though I love the idea of intermediate fasting and practice it at home sometimes, I think a plane filled with strangers and the occasional crying baby is not the place to be hungry. Of course, it totally depends on the length of the flight. For anything longer than 2 hours I have snacks, for flights over 5 hours I bring full meals!

How do you edit your photos for your feed but also your stories? Again, VSCO cam (filters A4 or C8) but for the stories I also sometimes use an app called “unfold” to create those collages or frames.

Favorite perfume? Even though I am currently not using it, I would have to say Chance Eau Vive by Chanel.

Favorite mascara? “lash expert twist brush”The by terry .

What should everyone have in their closet? A really good pair of jeans (no holes), a simple black and/or white round-neck t-shirt and a pair of black heels that you can walk in all evening!

What do you NOT like to eat? I will definitely get hate for this, but: gummy bears! Not even as a kid did I like the artificial color, flavor or consistency. I just don’t understand the point. Also, any intestines.

Do you have tips for long-distance flights? Yes, I do! Lots and lots of water (no alcohol or coffee), healthy food and snacks, no make-up + lots of hydrating products. Read some of my tips HERE or be sure to check out this article on The Daily Dose.

Do you ever have days that you are simply lazy? I think it depends on your definition of lazy. In the classic sense of staying in bed all day: no, not unless I am sick. But in the sense of no work: of course! For example when I am home with my parents. But that may include a morning workout, long walk, cooking together or taking the oldtimers out for a ride I guess the word would not necessarily be lazy but rather relaxing or offline.

How did you and Katharina become friends/business partners? Like ya’ll by each other 24/7! We met when she moved into my old apartment. We instantly hit it off, founded The Daily Dose 6 months later and have been inseparable ever since!

Which lipstick is your favorite? I actually have two: the “rich nude” art stick by Bobbi Brown and the “Nude York City Style” 002 by Catrice.

Which good vintage stores do you know in Vienna? Unfortunately I am not a big vintage shopper. The only one I know is Burggasse 24.

How can I love myself without makeup? I think the key is feeling comfortable in your own skin. So focus on good skincare and drink lots of water. Also, I feel so much more confident without make-up if I have my eyebrows and lashes tinted. Try working your way towards less make-up with more natural-looking products like a tinted moisturizer or bb cream.

Do you have a monthly shopping budget or is it different every month? It varies every month. I never go shopping just for the sake of it, but when I see something I love, I usually splurge right away (if it is not crazy expensive).

Which yoga/pilates clothes can you recommend? Also Lululemon or Hey Honey!

What are your L.A. must-sees? Hike up Runyon Canyon early in the morning, have breakfast or lunch at the Malibu Farm and go to El Matador State Beach after, Abbot Kinney Road in Venice Beach, Griffith Observatory, Rodeo Dr. (obviously), Universal Studios, Melrose Drive and an In ‘n Out Burger, of course!

Do you miss you cappuccino now and then? Never! If I would miss it, I would totally just have it! Occasionally, I feel like an almond milk flat white, but on the daily I absolutely love my black Americano and much prefer it to a cappuccino!

Would you ever show your kids on Instagram? Probably in some way yes. But haven’t put much thought into it yet since kids are nowhere near on the horizon!

Do you use self tanner? If so, which one can you recommend? The only self tanner I use is L’eau Tan by Chanel. It is super subtle and actually smells good. But not really a self tanner in the traditional sense! I have also tried Tan Luxe twice and was pretty happy with the results.

If you had to choose just 1 beauty product – which one would it be? It is a close call between a tinted moisturizer with SPF and a highlighting bronzer. I am obsessed with a natural glow. However, I would have to get my brows and lashes tinted weekly – no can do without eyebrows!

One word to describe yourself? So basic, but “happy”. I think it is in my nature to be happy and easy-going 90% of the time!

TRIED&TESTED HOTELS I LOVE

The Standard

If you have ever found yourself researching hotels for New York City, chances are pretty high that you have come across, or heard of The Standard High Line Hotel.

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Travel Tip: 11 Howard, Soho New York City Hotel

As much as I love the excitement of exploring and getting to know a new city, there is something extra special about returning to a place.

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Beyond Coachella

Just like every year, Coachella is taking over April and everyone’s Instagram feeds as we are currently between weekend 1 and 2 of the über-famous festival in the California desert.

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Where To Stay in Vancouver?

After sharing some of my favorite things to do, eat and see in Vancouver, I also wanted to share a full hotel review of the Fairmont Pacific Rim with you.

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Hotel Zoo

Berlin and I didn’t always have the best relationship. It took me a while to fall for the city and all it has to offer (especially when it comes to food).

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Source: http://www.bikinisandpassports.com/ask-me-anything-qa/

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Do These 3 Unexpected Things to Help Manage Your Diabetes

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-type-1/do-these-3-unexpected-things-to-help-manage-your-diabetes/

Do These 3 Unexpected Things to Help Manage Your Diabetes

Month after month and year after year you struggle with checking your blood sugar, taking your medication properly, eating the right foods, exercising enough, and staying away from nights that undo all your two steps forward.

You’re a perfectly smart individual, completely capable of doing what needs to be done. You read about how people with type 1 and type 2 diabetes do amazing things and quickly realize that some of your excuses fall a little short. You can’t figure out why you aren’t able to manage your diabetes well even though you have the tools and resources you need with which to do it.

Besides, diabetes is just one of a bunch of other problems you have. You too are dealing with relationships and work and finances.

But some people with diabetes are doing well and you wonder if you could be one of them. Deep down you know you could. You just need…something…

Now I don’t know you so I’m only going to ask you to consider the possibility that perhaps, mostly what needs to change are your surroundings.

Your surroundings would include any people, places, or things in your proximity.

The People You Surround Yourself With

Let’s start with people. If you’re an adult you probably have a choice regarding who you spend your time with. Are these quality people? Do they treat you well or poorly? Are they negative? Do they manage to bring you down with their words or actions? Do they abuse themselves and do things you don’t respect?

You might first try telling the people in your life how you feel and what you would prefer from them. If they can’t do any different and are only helping to pull you down, you’ve got to let them go. Your diabetes will eventually destroy your health if you don’t manage it and it won’t help blaming anyone in the end. Not when you get to decide who to spend your time with.

Where I come from there is a saying that says, “Better no company, than bad company”.

Try being a person who is just, honest, hardworking, and virtuous. You’ll alienate the wrong people and attract the right ones. Those qualities will also be major boosts to your arsenal for managing diabetes.

The Places You Live and Work

Now for places. Do you hate where you live or work? If so, are you working on a plan that will slowly get you out of there? It may take 5 years (as it did for me to leave a job I hated) but you’ve got to at least lay out your plan and take steps toward it. We spend a lot of time where we live and work so, again, if that is what brings you down then work towards getting that obstacle out of your way.

Don’t despair if things seem impossible. They always do–especially when we are feeling overwhelmed. Just start writing down what you want and the steps you think you should take to get there. Try to be calm, daydream a bit, get creative, and figure out your escape.

Talk to a loved one about what you are trying to do. Maybe you can get some support. Perhaps someone you trust could also help give you feedback about what you want and why. Go to a rational thinker, not someone who will give you emotional advise, which is great for some things but terrible for your life’s practical maneuvers which require you to be wise.

The Things You Own, Which Own You

There is much value in cleaning up our possessions in a way that will minimize anxiety and stress and maximize efficiency and value. Have you heard of Marie Kondo, the Japanese tidying guru? Her book may not be for everyone but I dare say she is on to something. She recommends owning only what we all need and love.

You know how most people love going to hotels? Well, I spent the last few years staying in dozens of them–three and four-star hotels. And what I discovered was that they are all pretty much terrible. No, really. They are dusty, mildewy, smelly, and the only thing actually going for them is that they are minimalist and tidy.

So when you and I first step in we go into “spa brain” where we get a sense of peace and relaxation even though we are walking on a carpet that contains blood, semen, and urine. Again, no, seriously. A friend contracted MRSA from walking barefoot in a very nice New York City hotel and spent many weeks in a hospital.

Now what if we could come home and feel “spa brain” every day? Don’t you think that would help you stay focused and more relaxed on what you need to do to maintain your healthy habits?

The key is to strip your belongings of things you don’t love, as Kondo recommends and to only keep something if you truly can’t live without it. I got rid of so much stuff recently that I was able to put my diabetes supplies in a pretty box that was previously used for something else. I have been better about changing my syringes and lancets ever since and I also stay on top of what needs to be reordered because everything is so nicely organized.

Check out Kondo’s book from the library or purchase it on Amazon and start making some darn space for a life in which you manage your diabetes and health (let’s face it, those take up enough space on their own).

I Think This Because I Live It

I have done these three things I’m suggesting, not perfectly of course, as we’re all a work in progress. But, I have experienced major changes that have been well worth all the little steps it took to get here. I once felt hopeless and worried that diabetes would kill me at age 40. I thought diabetes was too hard to manage even for just 24 hours. I felt depressed and anxious and didn’t know how to alleviate my symptoms.

I’ve found that for me, it has truly helped to keep quality company, mold my life so I spend my days where I want, doing what I want, and chucking items that are only going to stand in my way, mentally and physically.

In a way, it’s all about removing what isn’t going to support what we want or need. When you remove what isn’t wanted or needed you are left with everything you want and need. It’s quite perfect.

The bit I wrote about how we have to be virtuous and all that…that part is instrumental. Deep down we all recognize quality. When we think and act like quality people we are self-motivated to hold our heads up high and finally treat ourselves with self-respect. The best anti-depressant I’ve ever experienced has been working to be a self-respecting and useful person.

It isn’t self-respect to live amongst clutter, surrender to a dead-end job, or to maintain a toxic relationship. These aspects are huge in our lives and we either surround ourselves to an environment that promotes and supports our success, or we don’t.

I don’t have it all figured out and I have a long way to go still but, I get emails from people who want to know what advice I have on how to manage diabetes well and some who ask about relationship and parenting and other topics. So what I’ve shared is what I rely on to help me maintain an A1c between 5-6 %, a healthy marriage, happy kids that I unschool, and work I enjoy.

I’ve noticed that people who manage their diabetes really well do these things, also. You can learn to do them, too if you want. Just pick one and begin.

Photo Credits: Sysy Morales and Web Summit (Flickr), License: CC BY 2.0

Post Views: 0Diabetes Type 2 Treatment 800 Calorie Diabetic Diet Diabetes Destroyer Video Reviews Original Article

[za3k]

The life-changing magic of tidying up

Summary of “the life-changing magic of tidying up”:

Marie Kondo writes the “KonMari” method. The book ends up being as much about her mistakes in learning how to tidy as it is about how to tidy. The book conveys a certain positive energy that makes me want to recommend it, but the author also brings that energy in reaction to a kind of previous stress which accompanied tidying, which she does not seem to have completely dropped–if you are mysteriously anxious and feel you MUST discard everything after reading her book, this may be why.

The primary point she makes is meant to cure it: Decide what to keep and what to discard by physically touching each item, and asking if it brings you joy.

The rest of the method:

Positivity. Everything in your house loves and wants to help you. If it is time to send off some of the items on their next adventure, this is no reason to be sad or anxious. You had a great time meeting, and they and you were both happy.

Tidy all at once (at least by category, but preferably in a multi-day binge).

Physically gather the category in once place, touching everything and asking if it brings you joy.

Find out what you’ll keep and discard before putting things away or organizing.

Organizing: ??? [I didn’t get any big takeaways here].

Marie Kondo’s best advice is realizations from her past mistakes–the sort of methods which seems reasonable to try, but end up being wrong for subtle reasons. They are:

Tidy by category, not place. Otherwise, you won’t realize everything you have.

“Storage” is storing things neatly, and lets you have more and more things. This is different than tidying, which is about bringing things in harmony, and having only things you love. Becoming better at “storage” can make you unhappy.

She also has encountered her clients making mistakes. For each category of things (clothes, books, etc) there are many reasons clients may not want to throw something out. Most of the book is meant to illustrate why these things are useless, and why throwing them out is okay and will make you happier.

The fun part is that many clients were more confident and more in touch with what they valued and who they wanted once they had only possessions they loved.

Bolded text in the book

Start by discarding. Then organize your space, thoroughly, completely, in one go.

A dramatic reorganization of the home causes coorespondingly dramatic changes in lifestyle and perspective. It is life transforming.

when you put your house in order, you put your affairs and your past in order, too

They are surrounded only by the things they love

the magic of tidying

People cannot change their habits without first changing their way of thinking

If you tidy up in one shot, rather than little by little, you can dramatically change your mind-set.

If you use the right method and concentrate your efforts on eliminating clutter thoroughly and completely with a short span of time, you’ll see instant results that will empower you to keep your space in order ever after.

Tidying is just a tool, not a final destination. [The true goal should be to establish the lifestyle you want most once your house has been put in order]

A booby trap lies within the term “storage”.

Putting things away creates the illusion that the clutter problem has been solved.

Tidying up location by location is a fatal mistake.

Effective tidying involves only two essential actions: discarding and deciding where to store things. Of the two, discarding must come first.

Tidying is a special event. Don’t do it every day.

Your goal is clearly in sight. The moment you have put everything in its place, you have crossed the finish line.

Tidy in the right order.

Do not even think of putting your things away until you have finished the process of discarding.

Think in concrete terms so that you can vividly picture what it would be like to live in a clutter-free space.

However, the moment you start focusing on how to choose what to throw away, you have actually veered significantly off course.

We should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.

take each item in one’s hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it.

Keep only those things that speak to your heart. Then take the plunge and discard all the rest. always think in terms of category, not place

People have trouble discarding things that they could still use (functional value), that contain helpful information (informational value), and that have sentimetnal value). When these things are hard to obtain or replace (rarity), they become even harder to part with.

The best sequence is this: clothes first, then books, papers, komono (miscellany), and lastly, mementos.

it’s extremely stressful for parents to see what their children discard

To quietly work away at disposing of your own excess is actually the best way of dealing with a family that doesn’t tidy. The urge to point out someone else’s failure to tidy is usually a sign that you are neglecting to take care of your own space.

To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.

What things will bring you joy if you keep them a part of your life?

The most important points to remember are these: Make sure you gather every piece of clothing in the house and be sure to handle each one.

By neatly folding your clothes, you can solve almost every problem related to storage.

The key is to store things standing up rather than laid flat.

The goal is to fold each piece of clothing into a simple, smooth rectangle.

Every piece of clothing has its own “sweet spot” where it feels just right

Arrange your clothes so they rise to the right.

By category, coats would be on the far left, followed by dresses, jackets, pants, skirts, and blouses.

Never, ever tie up your stockings. Never, ever ball up your socks.

The trick is not to overcategorize. Divide your clothes roughly into “cotton-like” and “wool-like” materials when you put them in the drawer.

If you are planning to buy storage units in the near future, I recommend that you get a set of drawers instead.

The criterion is, of course, whether or not it gives you a thrill of pleasure when you touch it.

In the end, you are going to read very few of your books again.

The moment you first encounter a particular book is the right time to read it.

[Papers] I recommend you dispose of anything that does not fall into one of three categories: currently in use, needed for a limited period of time, or must be kept indefinitely.

[Papers that need to be dealt with] Make sure that you keep all such papers in one spot only. Never let them spread to other parts of the house.

[On lecture/seminar papers] It’s paradoxical, but I believe precisely because we hang on to such materials, we fail to put what we learn into practice.

Too many people live surrounded by things they don’t need “just because”.

Presents are not “things” but a means for conveying someone’s feelings.

Mysterious cords will always remain just that–a mystery.

Despite the fact that coins are perfectly good cash, they are treated with far less respect than paper money.

No matter how wonderful things used to be, we cannot live in the past. The joy and excitement we feel here and now are more important.

People never retrieve the boxes they send “home”. Once sent, they will never again be opened.

By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past.

As you reduce your belongings through the process of tidying, you will come to a point where you suddenly know how much is just right for you.

The fact that you possess a surplus of things that you can’t bring yourself to discard doesn’t mean you are taking good care of them. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

Believe what your heart tells you when you ask, “Does this spark joy?”

The point in deciding specific places to keep things is to designate a spot for every thing.

Once you learn to choose your belongings properly, you will be left only with the amount that fits perfectly in the space you currently own.

pursue ultimate simplicity in storage

I have only two rules: store all items of the same type in the same place and don’t scatter storage space.

If you live with your family, first clearly define separate storage spaces for each family member.

Everyone needs a sanctuary

Clutter is caused by a failure to return things to where they belong. Therefore, storage should reduce the effort needed to put things away, not the effort needed to get them out.

If you are aiming for an uncluttered room, it is much more important to arrange your storage so that you can tell at a glance where everything is than to worry about the details of who does what, where, and when.

When you are choosing what to keep, ask your heart; when you are choosing where to store something, ask your house.

stacking is very hard on the things at the bottom

Rather than buying something to make do for now, wait until you have completed the entire process and then take your time looking for storage items that you really like.

The key is to put the same type of bags together.

One theme underlying my method of tidying is transforming the home into a sacred place, a power spot filled with pure energy.

Transform your closet into your own private space, one that gives you a thrill of pleasure.

Stockings take up 25 percent less room once they are out of the package and folded up.

By eliminating excess visual information that doesn’t inspire joy, you can make your space much more peaceful and comfortable.

[homework assignment to clients] appreciate their belongings [by actually expressing appreciation to them]

At their core, the things we really like do not change over time. Putting your house in order is a great way to discover what they are.

letting go is even more important than adding

The lives of those who tidy thoroughly and completely, in a single shot, are without exception dramatically altered.

one of the magical effects of tidying is confidence in your decision-making capacity

But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.

The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life.

The sum total of all the garbage so far would exceed twenty-eight thousand bags, and the number of items discarded must be over one million.

The fact that they do not need to search is actually an invaluable stress reliever..

Life becomes far easier once you know that things will still work out even if you are lacking something.

I believe that tidying is a celebration, a special send-off for those things that will be departing from the house, and therefore I dress accordingly.

In essence, tidying ought to be the act of restoring balance among people, their possessions, and the house they live in.

Make your parting a ceremony to launch them on a new journey.

It’s a very strange phenomenon, but when we reduce what we own and essentially “detox” our house, it has a detox effect on our bodies as well.

If you can say without a doubt, “I really life this!” no matter what anyone else says, and if you like yourself for having it, then ignore what other people think.

As for you, pour your time and passion into what brings you the most joy, your mission in life.

The life-changing magic of tidying up was originally published on Optimal Prime

[wellpersonsblog]

Wellness Over Things: A New Way of Approaching the Holidays

I never realized how much stuff was involved in a typical holiday until I had a daughter. 

During her first real Christmas (she was born about a week before Christmas, so that one doesn’t count), she received more presents than the rest of my family combined. 

Easily. 

Toys, books, dolls, blocks, clothes, bikes…

You name it, it was probably under my tree for her to open. 

There was even a Yoda doll about twice her size.

(She was more excited about him in real life.)

And my daughter? After the first few gifts, all she wanted was time to play (and nap). 

But while it might not have stood out as much until she was born, even as adults, the amount of money and energy we spend on things during the holidays is staggering. 

We live in a world of instant pleasure — notifications on your phone, same-day delivery, and streaming shows whenever you want — which bleeds into a culture of buying and giving gifts you don’t actually need. 

… A running watch to replace my 2-year-old running watch? Yeah, I probably don’t need that.

…. Mugs, dishes, and random kitchen gadgets? I probably don’t need those either. 

… A fifth way to make coffee? OK, I’m intrigued. I’ll take it.

You get the point. 

Fast fashion and inexpensive throw-away products fill our houses and online shopping carts, only to then fill junkyards or clutter our closets.

So what if this year, we did something different … 

… What if instead of investing in yet another thing to fill a junk drawer or countertop, we invest in our — or our loved one’s — wellness.

Wellness over things. 

Now now, before you go roll your eyes on over to the next article, hear me out: 

Things are important. I often need new clothes, appreciate new tech, and am never disappointed when someone gives me a new way to make coffee. 

Plus receiving things is nice, and the joy of giving is unmatched. I love to see how excited people get giving my daughter gifts, and the smile it brings to her face when opening them. 

But far too often when I buy something new for myself or a loved one, their health never comes to mind. 

But what better gift could you give yourself or someone else than health and wellness?

Wellness Over Things… in Action

Reducing things is pretty trendy right now. Marie Kondo and her method of tidying up is not only mentioned by Matt and I often on NMA Radio (it really did change our lives), but it has also gone totally mainstream with a Netflix show everyone seemed to be talking about.

Most people these days are thinking about decluttering, minimalism, and downsizing more and more.

But in all those cases, it’s not just about reduction, it’s about being intentional and focusing on what’s important. 

And that’s exactly what we’re trying to do with Wellness Over Things. Encouraging ourselves (and you!) to focus on the most important thing: 

Wellness.  

Because when you’re healthy, you feel good. And when you feel good, you’re a better partner, parent, friend, and athlete. 

Here are just a few examples of what that could look like: 

Subscription service to a health app like Headspace or Aaptive.

Gym or yoga studio membership.

Gift certificate to a plant-based food delivery service like Veestro or Purple Carrot. 

Health books and cookbooks.

Online wellness programs that focus on fitness, nutrition, or mindset. 

It wouldn’t be hard to create a list 5x as long, and that’s the point…

There are countless ways to invest in wellness this holiday season. To take your interests and the interests of your loved ones, and double down on wellness. 

And you know what? I’d appreciate any of those options more than something else that takes up space on my shelf. 

Wellness Over Things… a Movement

This holiday season, No Meat Athlete wants to start a movement. 

A movement away from throw-away things and towards our health and wellness. 

We’re undoubtedly going to keep purchasing gifts — for ourselves and our loved ones — only this year, we’re choosing wellness to come first. 

… Supporting our own health comes before another throw-away item. 

… Supporting the wellness of our loved ones comes before a gift they don’t want or need. 

… Supporting companies that promote our values comes before another Big Box purchase. 

And that feels pretty damn good. 

Now we want you to join us this year in choosing Wellness Over Things. 

We’re even starting a #WellnessOverThings hashtag to make it official (every movement needs a hashtag, right?)! 

So tell us, how can you choose Wellness Over Things this year?

Spread The Word

Start by sharing your #WellnessOverThings plans to spread the word. Together we can start a movement.

Want to share on Instagram? Save the image, open Instagram, and well, I think you can figure it out from there. Don’t forget to use #WellnessOverThings

The post Wellness Over Things: A New Way of Approaching the Holidays appeared first on No Meat Athlete.

First found here: Wellness Over Things: A New Way of Approaching the Holidays