#shes like the joker to me way. very fun though acting was insane <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[oysterie]

oh wait pearl was a prequel lol?

[thegeminisage]

tng update time!! we're back, baby. sunday we did "the masterpiece society" and "conundrum" and last night* we did "power play" and "ethics."

*by last night i mean earlier tonight, but i'm typing this at 1am and letting it post tomorrow

the masterpiece society: this one was okay. i was very endeared at first to this guy flirting RESPECFULLY with deanna after the ordeal of 3 rape scenes in one episode but then she shot him down and he kept flirting. WILL my misery never cease

that said, i like that picard was nice to her when she fessed up about fucking with him. i am so fond of saying "treat him really niceys" about data but perhaps we should also be treating DEANNA really niceys. instead of raping her repeatedly.

one hilarious detail i noticed about this episode was that they went out of their way to show us a lot of extras in this episode (sometimes we don't even get this many extras in ten forward scenes) and show us that the extras were. diverse. because if the society is "genetically engineered to perfection." and then you only show white people. THAT puts a whole new spin on things. i'm imagining some joker on the production team looking at a shot of mostly-white extras and frantically calling the casting director on the phone

i was EXTREMELY worried when they asked geordi to work with this woman but he was professional the whole time to my huge relief. actually, geordi had a little bit going on in this ep that i really enjoyed - when these "perfect" people kept implying he would have been aborted as a fetus in their society he gave as good as he got EVERY time and his blind ass DID in fact wind up saving all their lives and GOOD FOR HIM!

i dont really get what the big deal is about 23 people leaving = destroying their society. if you can't plann for people being out then it's your managerial skills that need work. also, they were kinda freaks, so maybe they needed to have their little cult broken up. sorry

conundrum: EPISODES FOR MEEEEE. this episode was just like tabula rasa, except this predates tabula rasa, so really tabula rasa is just like IT. anyway, amnesia. i was gleefully rubbing my hands together the entire time

hands down funniest bit was everyone just assuming worf is captain despite the fact that he's bloodthirsty and insane but the second funniest bit was data the bartender. "where's the android?" "serving drinks in ten forward." "[as data speed types] you must have been one hell of a bartender." 10/10 no notes

also his little chess game with deanna!! wah.

actually no the other funny bit was riker lowkey running around on deanna with ro. and i abslutely LOOOVED he and deanna being flirty with each other. it's ABOUT TIME we got some real food. it's been so sexless up til now that all she did was play with his hair a little and we both went bananas

and then the scene at the END? riker more flustered than we've EVER seen him and these two ladies ganging up on him...mwah. 10/10 perfect.

the villain this episode was good. when he first showed up cathy was like who tf is that and i was like idk some rando im sure he doesnt matter but then the computer named him first officer and it was like !!!!!!!!!!!! they tricked me !!! it's a VERY rare day when tng manages to trick me i was so pleased. i do kinda wish they hadn't theo teennwolfed him though (made everyone else a bit dumber to make him seem smart)

power play: deannna was so hot in this episode she should play male characters more often

i really REALLY wish i had been riker deanna and worf that had been possessed. data's not as much fun when he's someone else and not data. obrien could have come too if he wanted though i guess

PLEASE do not tell rosalind chao to shut her baby up. the last time someone told anyone to shut a baby up in a property she happened to be acting in. well. mash fans know. they know.

i genuinely believed those guys were ghosts until the last second. probably because prisoners makes no sense. also, i think prison for 500 years is too much. can we not just let them die

i love when possessed data tried to prove worf and worf was like lol no. he knows data is 10x stronger than him lmao

i wish guinan had been in this episode it's been ages and i miss her

after how tense and fun the beginning was the end and middle of this episode were kind of anticlimactic. still, it was fun and so it gets a pass. more people should get possessed on the enterprise

WHY DO I ONLY GET 4K CHARACTERS PER TEXT BLOCK staff i'll fucking kill you. anyway

ethics: RIKER/WORF/DEANNA IS REAL IT HAPPENED ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN!

ok, first of all, sorry i have to go ahead and get this out of the way before i get to the good stuff, picard advocating for assisted suicide is NNNOT his best look. in fact it's literally such a fucking bad look. actually. uhh tw for talk of suicide here on down

i understand what they were trying to do. they wanted to present both sides of the ethical dilemma here "equally." but there are some problems with this. firstly, in the real world, assisted suicide is for people with like. terminal illness. worf was fine. yes, he was paralyzed, but he was healthy and had the change to regain a great deal of his mobility. so picard already looks like an asshole because he's advocating for a disabled person killing themselves because they "can't" adjust to the loss.

SECONDLY, the use of "can't" was very poorly done here. if picard had said, worf is too stubborn to change his beliefs, he WON'T adjust to this because he will refuse to try, that would be a LOT BETTER than saying "worf CAN'T adjust to this, it's too many lifelong values to change."

and finally, if we really wanted to be "equal" about the debate, it wouldn't be about worf's ability or inability to adjust to being disabled, it would be about his BELIEFS. like his society and heritage, which he cherishes so deeply because he felt disconnected from it for so much of his life. instead picard was just like "worf is way too much of a pussy to do this just let him die lmao"

like he seriously tried to persuade will to KILL WORF. worse, to help worf kill himself!! JUST BECAUSE WORF WAS DISABLED. he even guilted riker about it: "he wouldn't have asked if he didn't know he could count on you." girl what the FUCK

ok anyway, speaking of will: his reaction here was so strong i wonder if he knew someone who'd killed themselves before. NOT that i'm complaining about a strong reaction. FINALLY we are getting some solid worf/riker Content. maybe asking your commanding officer to kill you is romance or whatever. i loved their argument to little bitty pieces. compare to: riker in tears next to deanna's sickbay bed. ooough i am eating. according to the wiki they actually cut a scene of nose-to-nose yelling and i'm mad about it. LET THEM PUT THEIR FACES TOGETHER. give me something to live for

deanna in this episode too. her kneeling by the fallen worf and murmuring "let me help you." her making him talk to his son. him BASICALLY asking her to be his kid's new adoptive parent should he kick it

oh speaking of alexander. he said some really troubling things this episode. such as, "my mom always said klingons had dumb ideas about honor" and "i don't care about being klingon." HIS MOTHER WAS RACIST..............if alexander decides the klingon ways aren't for him that's fine but that should be a choice HE GETS TO MAKE what an insane way to be raised. meanwhile people are out here calling worf a deadbeat and he put aside his suicide plan for alexander specifically

other shocking things about this episode: beverly was sooooo good actually. she was channeling bones energy in her fury and i mean that as the highest possible compliment. that other doctor quite literally KILLED A PATIENT because she's so sketchy and focused on her own glory "oh i need tokeep a professional detachment" YEAH SO YOU DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE. bones would have torn her limb for limb and i'm very glad beverly did too. i just don't understand why she was allowed to like leave the ship and go back to practicing medicine. she should have her medical liscene revoked. was this too also in the name of "both sides" of the debate girl this isn't fox news she KILLED A PATIENT for her own personal gain just space her ass!

the fake-out with worf dying was expected but them faking us out for so LONG was a surprise. i was like how are they gonna get him out of this one and it's literally the klingon anatomy. double of eeeeeverrrything. wow that sure is something. funny that worf has ridges on sooo many places. love that it took until season 5 to see it

also, that surgery scene was GROSS. im not normally squeamish but that little worm thingy they put into him looked awful

devastated there was no worf/riker reunuion at the end but other than that and picard and that other dr lady not getting fired it was extremely good. one of my favs so far i think actually.

tonight: "the outcast" and "cause and effect." i've started spoiling myself w/ episode summaries in order not to get surprised by 3 rape scenes in a row again and ik what both of these are about and im soooo excited for it

[behindheremeraldeyes]

damirae week 2021 Wednesday, May 5th - holiday & vacations title: love is in the air summary: When his brother decides to mess with him as a Holiday prank, Damian ends up having to travel in coach like the rest of the mortals. Eventually, though, he learns that turbulence can strike even before the plane takes off.

.

“What do you mean by coach class?”

His brows are furrowed when he asks her that, a puzzled expression taking over his face. Expectant, green eyes are on the flight attendant in front of him, as he waits for her to provide him a little more information on the matter. She’s growing anxious the longer he stares at her, a nervous tic making her left eye tremble whenever she tries to maintain eye-contact. Apparently, she knows who he is— of course she does— therefore; he believes it’s safe to presume she understands why he’s so confused.

“I’m really sorry, Mr. Wayne, but that’s what your ticket says.” She explains, her voice laced with nervousness as she shows him the printed paper with his name written on. Damian is not blind— far from that, actually. He can see all the information written on that paper, but no matter how much he tries, he still can’t comprehend the ‘coach’ part. He has been traveling by plane for as long as he can remember, and never once has he deliberately chosen a seat in coach— in fact, never once has he chosen a seat at all, since he has a secretary of his own. A very competent and well-paid one, for the matter.

Such a primal mistake like this has never happened in all the years they’ve been working together. Something must have happened, he knows.

“I believe there must have been some mistake.” He states calmly, his demeanor unaltered. “Could you please check it again? The people at my company would never make such a trivial mistake.”

“Of course, I understand completely. I’ll try checking it on the system to see if I can find anything.”

Her fingers move rapidly across the keyboard, and he studies her face, looking for a hint of what’s actually happening. She’s still nervous, he can tell, and if anything, that’s not a good sign. It means she’s not finding the problem in the system, and if she’s not finding it, it means the said problem doesn’t exist. And if it doesn’t exist— well— something must have happened at Wayne tech.

How odd, he ponders.

“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Wayne, but there really has been no mistake. Your ticket was ordered last Wednesday night, and it is as I’ve told you, see?” She turns the monitor so he can see, probably so he won’t hold it against her or anything. “You know, it’s quite common for some of our clients to make this kind of mistake. Perhaps you forgot to select the first class? “

“Highly unlikely. My secretary always double-checks everything.”

“Well, both the coach class and the seat were chosen by your secretary last Wednesday night. Are you sure nothing unusual happened when he ordered the ticket for you?”

“I’m positive. It was a normal Wednesday and— wait.” He suddenly stops. His emerald eyes blink once, twice and a third time, a blank expression taking over his handsome face. ”Did you just say he?”

Once he allows her words to sink in, Damian questions the integrity of his ears. Perhaps, after all of those years fighting crime and handling explosives, they might not be working as perfectly as they are supposed to.

He must have heard it wrong because, last time he checked, Mrs. Miller was not a man. She’s a conservative woman who’s around her 60s, and even if that doesn’t mean a thing anymore, she has never once told him anything about switching genders. If anything, she’s always the one lecturing Jason about finding a kind woman such as herself.

Still, a stranger such as the woman standing in front of him could never know such personal things about Mrs. Miller’s life. Things are not adding up. And for he is his father’s son, he wants to know why.

“Oh, yes. I presume the name Richard belongs to a man, no? It’s the name of the account who’s booked you this flight.”

“Richard?!” He questions, and it only takes him a second to put all the pieces of that silly puzzle together.

Grayson, you bastard.

Now it all makes perfect sense. Of course he had to be behind this childish act. Who else would have enough free time to waste before the Holidays just to prank a busy, young man such as himself? His older brother might be respected by many of their super friends, but more than anyone, Damian knows he is but a child filled with hormones. He probably thought it would be funny to make his little brother travel for hours in coach as a commoner, where he would have to sit next to a stranger.

That worthless manwhore.

However, he won’t let his predecessor have the last laugh. Grayson did this solely to piss him off and throw him out of his comfort zone, therefore, the best revenge should be handling the situation without creating a fuss. Damian is going to accept the conditions without putting up a fight, and his brother’s victory will have a bitter taste.

Yes, that’s how a real man gets his personal revenge. He will endure a six-hours flight home in coach class like a pro, and he will show the first Robin not to mess with the newest generation.

A proud smirk, then, takes over his lips. That certainly should teach him a lesson—well, that and the explosives Damian plans to hide in his brother’s bedroom, of course.

“Mister Wayne, I’m terribly sorry about all this. I—“

“No need to be sorry. In fact, I should be the one apologizing for all of these questions now that I know what happened.” He starts, placing his hand on his chest as an apologetical gesture. “You see, Richard is my older brother. He’s not as smart as the rest of the family, so it’s highly likely that he’s made this mistake.”

“Oh, I understand. I guess every family has one of those, right?”

“You have no idea. Now, Karen.” He says, finally paying attention to the name written on her uniform. “I’m incredibly sorry for wasting your time. Without further ado, I will head to my seat.”

“Mister Wayne, you’re very kind, indeed.” She starts, a blush tinging her cheeks. With a staple, she makes small holes on his ticket before handling it back to him. “I hope you have a safe flight to Gotham.”

“Yeah, me too.”

His voice doesn’t sound as irritated as he feels, and that alone is a big victory. Without wasting more of his precious time, Damian walks towards the jet bridge so he can finally board the plane. A couple walks behind him, chuckling as they talk about how much fun it will be to go back home for Christmas.

Going home for the Holidays, huh?

An entire week at the Wayne Manor with his brothers and his father, sharing meals together and trying not to murder each other during their morning exercises. Though Gotham could not get any safer since the whole bat-family will be together, it is also the one time of the year when his murderous instincts are at their peak.

A tired sigh escapes his lips. That’s a problem for another time, he thinks.

Once inside the plane, his eyes search for the signs that will take him to his seat. For the first time in his life, he turns right instead of left— coach instead of first class— and suddenly, a small corridor is in front of him. For a moment, he feels like a cow heading for the slaughterhouse, as many other people are forming a line in front of him.

It’s hard to breathe and even harder to walk with all of those people trying to put their bags inside the upper compartments. He checks his ticket again. D21. According to the numeration pattern, he’s almost there, but he’s still not moving fast enough. All the simultaneous talk is driving him insane, and now he understands why some people choose to dope themselves as soon as they get inside the plane.

He doesn’t have any sleeping pills with him, but maybe if he punches himself with enough strength…

No. He can make it. Things will get better once he sits down and they take off. It can’t possibly get any worse than it already is, right?

Right?

A curse is muffled under his breath, and finally, he reaches his seat. For he knows how to travel light, Damian is quick to place his bag where it belongs and now he can establish himself. It’s a window seat, he notices, which means that soon there will be another person next to him, too close for his own liking. He knows there’s no use in picturing what kind of person it will be, but he can certainly hope it’s a nice one who knows how to respect his personal space.

If he or she doesn’t have vocal chords, Damian definitely won’t complain.

He closes his eyes for a moment, then, allowing himself to settle down and get used to his surroundings. It’s chaotic, he thinks, and he knows chaotic. Children are crying, some people are on the phone and others are just breathing too loud. He knows he’s whining like a brat, but it’s stronger than him. It’s annoying, and he swears if that lady keeps on talking about her 3 cats, he’s going to—

His inner monologue stops, his eyes widening for a moment. At last, he hears the one thing he hates more than Joker’s maniacal laughter. That unbearable sound that makes his head throb and makes his lips turn into a deep frown.

“Is that Damian Wayne?”

Teenage girls. And they know him.

Perhaps it’s the annoying giggle or even the way they keep on getting bolder every time they meet him, but Damian can’t stand them. They’re just too obnoxious— a real pain. He honestly doesn’t know why on earth they tend to approach him whenever they have the chance, especially since he’s sure he has never once paid them any attention. In fact, chances are he has even been rude to them on more than one occasion.

Trying to understand a teenager’s mind is beyond his capacity. Ignoring them, though doesn’t prevent them from returning, is the easiest way out, and when they come— because they will come— that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

“Excuse me, Damian Wayne.” One of them says, her voice laced with excitement. Two more stand next to her, but he can’t really tell them apart. “It’s you, isn’t it? “

Jesus, can someone please knock him out already?

He crosses his arms at her words, his brows now knitted in annoyance. He’s pretty sure there’s nothing welcoming in his expression, but that won’t stop them from continuing. It’s not like they actually care about his feelings or anything.

“Oh, my god! It really is you!“ She claps her hands, biting her lower lip. “Can I get a selfie? Can I?”

“God, Mary. Can you be any more inconvenient?” The one on her left asks, pushing her friend away so she can take a step closer. “Forgive my friend. She can’t read the atmosphere like I can. If you want, I can send her away and keep you some company during the flight.”

“Ugh, get out of my way, both of you!” The third one pushes through, using her elbows to force her way forward. “Hi, I love you and I really mean it, Damian! I love you so much that, if you want, we can meet at the bathroom cabinet and I’ll show you.”

His eyes widen in horror at such proposal, and he’s almost sure this girl isn’t old enough to be saying such things. From the corner of his eyes, he watches as a bunch of people lift their phones to point at him, all of them waiting to hear his final answer so the dirty press can judge him.

Grayson is going to pay dearly for this.

This girl is insufferable. All of them are.

They’re causing all of that commotion, preventing people from walking down the small corridor and embarrassing him in front of all of those eyes. They can’t possibly think it’s okay to do or say those things so openly like to a man they know nothing about. Though the initial plan might have been for him to at least talk to them, Damian can’t bear any more hatred inside of him than at this very moment, and if looks could kill, those three wouldn’t be breathing anymore.

His hands turn into fists and he closes his heavy eyes so he can stop himself from committing a murder. Justice, not vengeance. His father’s words echo inside his head, and he’s having a really hard time trying not to think only about the second part. He really just wants to go home right now. And thankfully, he’s not the only one.

“Hum, excuse me…”

His ears detect a fresh voice, calmer and more mature. Instinctively, he opens his eyes to look at this new stranger, and he’s impressed by what he sees. She’s beautiful, he notices. Dark hair, violet eyes and ivory skin, all together to form an ethereal beauty like he has never seen before. Damian can’t help but keep looking at her, curious to know what she’s going to say on this matter.

“Hi!” She continues, her thin lips turning upwards in a smile. “I know you’re all busy trying to seduce this man with your oozing pheromones and irrefutable proposals, but in case you haven’t noticed, there are people trying to get to their seats here.”

“So what?” One of them says, a hand on her hips and a lot of attitude in her high-pitched voice. She’s trying to be intimidating, but it’s clearly not working. “Can’t you see who he is, you emo? He is—“

“I couldn’t care less about who he is.” The raven-haired girl cuts in, clearly not in the mood for that drama. “He could be Superman or even the president himself, for all I care. My problem is with you three airheads who are interrupting the flow. There are people trying to walk here and the airplane hallway is not a place to flirt with strangers who won’t even remember your face once we take off.”

“What!? Of course he will remember!” She glares. “We are—“

“Annoying the hell out of him? That you are. I mean, just look at his face! He looks like shit!” She points at him, violet eyes now meeting emerald ones. Her though expression suddenly melts into a softer one, her head tilting a bit to the right. “No offense, though.”

“None taken.” He answers, an amused smirk now taking over his face. She nods at him before returning her burning eyes to those three girls.

“Like the rest of us, this man just wants this damn plane to get him where he needs to be so he can move on with his life and get drunk during the holidays. We don’t want to be here. So, without further ado, could please you get the fuck out of the way before I lose my temper? ”

He doesn’t know what happens next or even how a small girl such as herself could be so intimidating, but at her words, he notices his three fangirls flinching. They’re avoiding eye-contact, and for the first time, one of them seems to grow aware of the crowd staring at them. The one standing in the middle starts to tremble, and though they’re looking at him as if searching for some sort of support, Damian can’t bring himself to offer them anything slightly remote to that.

In fact, if he has to pick sides, he wouldn’t need to think twice before taking the brunette’s.

“I-I… I—“

“You what?” She asks, arching an eyebrow and crossing her arms over her chest. Her pose holds no hesitation as she stands her ground. “Do you need me to spell it out for you? “

With a 'tch’, the three girls finally walk away, returning to their respective seats with their heads hanging low, and he can’t help but feel incredibly satisfied by that. There’s a victorious smirk on her face, and it’s safe for him to assume she’s also feeling pretty good about what she just did.

What an interesting woman, he thinks. All that sass and eloquence are certainly eliciting his curiosity, and though he doesn’t want to admit it, he can’t help but feel slightly turned on by this stranger.

Interesting, indeed.

While Damian is still trapped in his thoughts, a round of applause takes over the airplane, as people congratulate the raven-haired girl. They pat her shoulders, thank her for getting rid of those girls, and she even laughs once the old lady behind her tells her they don’t make girls like her anymore. For a quick moment, she becomes the hero they didn’t know they needed, and for sure, this is going to be a pleasant story to tell during Christmas dinner.

They will portray her as the girl who saved their flight.

Damian, however, will portray her as the one who told his fangirls to fuck off.

He really needs to thank her for that. Fortunately, he will have over six hours to do that.

Before the Wayne heir can bring himself to form the words in his head, the girl is placing her small bag in the compartment above their heads. As she lifts her arms, her shirt lifts, momentarily exposing her belly. Even if it was just for a brief second, she catches him staring, and once their eyes meet, he looks away, his cheeks growing slightly warmer.

He sees as she slowly shakes her head before sitting next to him, and though he was not expecting a girl such as her, he’s currently thanking the superior forces for the partner destiny has chosen to be his seat-mate. She’s beautiful, her voice is not annoying, and the best part is that she doesn’t seem to give a crap about who he is.

Maybe he’s finally going mad because of— well— everything, but right now, Damian trulls believes that he might even fall in love with this girl.

A sly smirk takes over his lips, and he can’t help but stare at her for a little too long. She watches as he does so, and as expected, she doesn’t feel embarrassed or inhibited at all. Instead, she stares back, eyes squinting a bit in sheer mockery. A questioning look spreads across her face, and he decides that he should be the one saying something. Anything, really.

“You’re mean.” He states, as if that’s the biggest truth in the world. She tilts her head, but his words don’t seem to affect her.

“So what?” She asks, not really caring about his answer as she fastens her seatbelt. ”If you didn’t like the way I talked to your fan girls, you can go and apologize to them, be their hero or whatever. Though, if you’re really gonna go meet them at the bathroom cabinet, I suggest we switch seats so we don’t bump knees every time you have to go.”

She’s a spirituous one, he notices. And if he’s not careful, he might be the next victim of her graciously rude words. “Nah, don’t worry about it. As you’ve pointed out before, I don’t even remember their faces anymore. Your knees can rest assured.”

“Thanks, I guess?” She lifts her brows, not bothering to spare him another glance as she adjusts her dark clothes. There’s a book resting over her lap— Christmas Carol, for what he can see— and she uses her small fingers to tug a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Yeah…” He shakes his head, forcing himself to focus. “By the way, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself. I am Damian— “

“Save it. I know who you are, Wayne. I might not be the most updated person in this world, but even Eskimos know your family. Don’t worry, though. I promise I’m not a disguised reporter or an annoying fangirl.”

“Not with that attitude, you’re not. Your clear lack of interest in my personal life can only be matched by only one other person I know.”

“Oh, really?” She asks, her eyes now turning to face him. Now that they’re so close to each other, he can see how bright they really are, and for a moment, he thinks she might even have hypnotic powers because he just can’t look away. There’s a curious tone lingering over her words, and he wants to believe she’s actually paying attention to him this time. “And who would that be, if I may ask?”

“My father.” He answers bluntly, and he notices as she she chokes back a giggle. There’s a soft smile decorating her lips now, and the surrounding atmosphere feels a lot lighter.

“Rachel Roth.” She sticks out her hand to him, and without hesitation, he shakes it carefully. Her hand is soft against his calloused one, and he notices the way she brushes her thumb over his skin. It’s a delicate and pure gesture, so fleeting that makes him wanting more as soon as he releases her from his grip.

“Well, Rachel…” Her name rolls out of his tongue as he tests the sound of it. It has a nice ring to it, he notices. “I think I need to thank you for saving me from a huge headache back then. Seriously, I owe you one.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I didn’t really do it for you, so you don’t need to thank me or anything. I just wanted them to get out of my seat, that’s all.”

“Selfish or not, you still got rid of them, so… thanks. “

“Well, if that’s the case, you’re welcome, Damian.” Rachel nods at him, the same smile still decorating her face. She picks up her book, then, flipping through the pages so she can pick up from where she had left. The way she says his name— so simple and unpretentious— makes his lips curl upwards, and all the bad feelings from before disappear.

This girl— Rachel— she’s showing what a life away from the streets and the business meetings must feel like. The conversation flows easily and effortlessly, to the point where it’s hard to believe they’ve met not even 30 minutes ago. It feels natural in a way very few things in his life do, and though he knows it’s not meant to last, at least he will cherish this moment before it turns into a fading memory in the depths of his mind.

Moments of pure joy shall fade into oblivion, that’s one of the most important rules of his life.

Thankfully, the internet is forever.

An unexpected buzz inside his pants breaks his train of thought. At first, he decides to ignore it, but after the third time, he gives up on the idea. Silently, he scoffs in annoyance, fishing his phone from his pocket. He presses the side button, then, the screen lighting up to reveal a couple of notifications. His eyes, though, land on three particular messages from his family’s group chat:

Grayson: I ship it

Drake : what happened, Damian? Are you okay?? Todd : hot and feisty. The best kind of girl, little bro

His brows furrow in confusion at his brothers’ messages. For what he can conclude, they’re talking about a girl he knows and has interacted with, but that’s pretty much it. The only female human in his mind right now is Rachel, and there’s no way for them to be talking about her. He’s not being followed or bugged, for all he knows— and he knows.

Something strange is happening, and he wants to know what. The youngest Wayne, then, texts them a single ‘?’ and almost immediately, Dick sends him a link to an Instagram page. He’s growing more confused with every additional information, but figures it must be just another one of Grayson’s stupid pranks.

He sighs at the thought. Isn’t he a bit too old for that?

An annoyed pout takes over his lips as a clear sign that he just wants to get this stupid thing over with. Once he taps on the link, though, it takes less than a second for his eyes to widen and his bored expression change into a surprised one. The video playing is muted, but he doesn’t need any volume or subtitles to know what the raven-haired girl in it is saying.

Oh… That angle does make her look nice.

He blinks twice as he allows the whole thing to sink in. Apparently, all of that show earlier was recorded by some cameras and posted all over the internet. There are many posts about it, with all possible captions and comments about them, and he has to admit some are quite creative. Apparently, they’re the new internet hits, not that Damian really cares about it. He’s used to all the lies and overreacted dramas, but if he were to be honest, this one is making him quite intrigued.

Not by the gossip itself, no. That would never happen.

This time, he’s intrigued by how the girl next to him will react as soon as she finds out.

From the corner of his eyes, he watches as she’s calmly reading her book, waiting for the plane to take flight. She’s immersed in Charles Dickens’ words, and it’s like the entire world around her can’t interrupt her. It’s just her and the book, and for she hasn’t touched her phone since her arrival, he’s quite sure she doesn’t know what’s happening in the digital world.

At least, not yet.

He’s definitely going to tell her.

“Uh… Rachel? ”

“Yes, Damian?” She answers, her eyes not bothering to leave the pages of the book.

“Just a quick question… How do you feel about being the center of attentions? “

“I hate it. Why?”

“Well, you might have to reconsider this…” His voice falters and he slowly massages the back of his head.

“Oh, and why would I do that?” She looks at him, at last, her brows now arched. Her expression is blank, and he suddenly wants to laugh because she has no idea of what’s coming.

“Here, check this out. ”

He gives her his phone, a smirk decorating his face. Slowly, he watches the video playing once again on the small screen, all life slowly fading from her pretty face. Her eyes widen, her lips part, and she places her fingers on her left temple. Her cheeks are growing redder than a tomato, and once the video ends, she is completely dumbfounded.

“Wha-what the hell!?“ A couple of seconds pass until she says something, her voice a little too loud, and her eyes filled with a mix of anger and embarrassment. “What’s the meaning of this, Damian!?”

“Well, I think people enjoyed your bossy words from many different angels”” He starts, taking his phone back and scrolling through his time line. His voice sounds too excited for her liking, and it’s easy to tell he’s trying to hold back a laughter. “You went viral, Rachel. ”

“No no no no.” She repeats, slowly shaking her head in denial and taking her own phone in hands. With trembling fingers, she opens her Instagram page and a rush of follows and mentions makes her eyes widen even more. “I can’t believe this is happening. ”

“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad.” Damian tries to calm her down, but the joy in his voice takes all of his credit away.

“Not that bad?!” Her eyes are glaring at him now, cheeks puffed in pure anger. “I got remixed, Damian!”

A sly smile takes over his lips, and he’s]really trying not to laugh in front of her. “And it’s a good remix. Besides, for what I can see, most people are on our side.”

“Our side? I was just trying to reach my seat. There’s no our side, Damian.”

“Well, apparently, there is. Look.” He leans towards her, absentmindedly, until he’s close enough to feel her embarrassment exhaling from her. Their knees are brushing, but neither of them seems to be aware of that closeness right now. He shows her his phone one more time, a couple of comments now displayed. “Some people are even shipping us already. #Damirae.”

A defeated whimper escapes her lungs, and finally, she locks her phone-screen. Apparently, Rachel can’t look at all that anymore, and decides to just sink into the seat. Her hands are covering her face, and her voice is muffled when the next words come out. “Ugh, this is a nightmare.”

“Try looking at the bright side. This video can make you famous. I’m sure the media already loves your sarcasm. “

“If you haven’t noticed, Wayne, I’m a goth.” She spreads her hands across her face so she can look at him through the space between her fingers, and he can’t help but find that utterly adorable. “I don’t do bright side. ”

“God, you’re so dramatic.” He also locks his phone, placing it back inside his pockets. His torso turns around so he can face her properly, that same smirk still planted on his lips. “It’s just a video, relax. Most people will soon forget about it.”

“Some people? And what about the others?” Her voice is lower now, shier, as if she’s really seeking some sort of comfort— not that he’s even trying to offer her any.

“Oh, we will remember this forever, don’t worry.” A dry chuckle escapes his lips, and he notices the way her expression melts in response, tension and nervousness now gone.

Damian is having the time of his life, not only because the video was, indeed, funny; but also because he’s getting to see another side of this interesting girl who’s sitting next to him. Even if she really is bothered by the whole thing right now, eventually, he trusts that she will get over it and realize that no one gives a damn about stuff like that.

It’s just a temporary thing. A funny story for the future.

Rachel will survive it. And he—well…

He’s just found himself an excuse to follow her on Instagram.

“You jerk.” She chuckles, finally placing her hands on her lap and adjusting her posture. She takes a deep breath, then, as if she’s trying to recompose herself, but he notices the way she shrinks a little once she realizes the couple next to them are staring. Her body turns towards his, a sign that she feels somehow safe with him.

And for that, he’s extremely glad.

“That’s a new thing.” Damian states, mockery no longer lacing his voice.

“What is?” The girl questions.

“You’re laughing.”

“So what?”

“It’s nothing, really. It’s just… cute.”

Her cheeks grow red once more and she bites her lips. For a fraction of a second, she turns away from him, but soon, her amethyst eyes are once more looking into his emeralds ones. “Shut up, will you? You’ll need more than that if you want your Damirae fantasy to come true.”

“Oh, so are you saying I have a chance, Rachel?” He teases, knowing very well she didn’t mean it like that. Still, he figures he can’t waste this opportunity. “Are you sure you’re not a disguised fangirl? “

“You wish, Wayne.“ She smirks, offering him a side glance as she picks up her book again. “And I never said that.”

“You didn’t say the other way around, either.”

“Good point.” She nods, acknowledging his words instead of trying to deny them. “I guess you have the entire flight to make sure I keep it that way…”

There’s a flirty tone in her voice, and instantly, the Wayne heir is up for the challenge. Their eyes meet again, and for a moment, he thinks she’s checking him out. They smile at each other, exchanging that you-know-what look, and right now, he doesn’t think this flight will be long enough.

He wants to know more about her. He wants to play this push-and-pull game, and more than anything, he wants her phone number. And Damian Wayne win’t stop until he gets what he wants.

At last, the pilot makes his announcements, and for once, they break eye contact when the flight attendant passes by their seats, closing the compartment above their heads. Seat-belts are fastened, tables are up, and the crew is ready. They’re ready to take off.

fin.

-----

a/n: Well, there are not enough words to describe how much trouble I had with these prompts. I gave up on so many ideas and got so mad at everything that I’m impressed I even managed to write something in the end. Still, I’m glad to have written this one. I had a lot of fun with the dialogues and with every smirk I wrote! Hope you’ve enjoyed it, and please, tell me what you think!

[eclipsing-maestro]

Meet the character - Vitale Maestro

(Shes mute so parenthesis meaning shes speaking in handsigns)

► Name ➔   …… ( Just call me V )

► Are you single ➔ …. ( Nope, happily married )

► Are you happy ➔  …. ( I’m calm...I think )

► Are you angry? ➔ …. ( Some temper here and there )

► Are your parents still married ➔ …. ( Yep, slowly recovering from being apart due to rescuing my little brother from running away )

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ …. ( Though my life exists in another universe not of this one, Caelum Isle...now abandoned was where we “Maestros” reside, hiding out beliefs and existence, somewhere in the First. Nobody knows it exists, but I know where, unless you wish to adventure within the Empty but I already pointed a checkpoint and can get there with a snap of a finger)

► Hair Color ➔ …. ( Jet black....usually some white highlights depending on my powers after affects)

► Eye Color ➔  …. ( I have pure ghost white eyes, not to mention black sclera...my eyes weren't always like this, but until I started to embrace my true self, my true power, it'll remain this way forever, no turning back into having normal eyes again. My eye sight how it is? well, theres lots of things I can see with and through it, but there are some flaws where things look very artificial...divisional. But, y’know, its nice )

► Birthday ➔ ….. ( Dece-...err... 16th Sun of the....6th Umbral Moon...still trying to get accustomed to Hydaelyns calendar haha ) 

► Mood ➔  ….. ( Kind of blank, sometimes tired but very focused when it comes to doing a mission )

► Gender ➔ ….. ( I’m a boy..... just kidding, I’m a female, but I do get mistaken as a male from time to time, cant blame my tomboy personality )

► Summer or winter ➔ …. ( Winter, I’m not too accustomed to the heat of Summer )

► Morning or afternoon ➔ ….. ( Both, but mostly I like the mornings )

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ ( well...I do.... I grew up with him so he was a childhood friend...its like he could read my mind and feelings but he understood and accept every piece of me, even my own flaws. He’s saved me many times, though after my childhood I haven't seen him ever since...we both have had a rough life but when we reunited, we were at odds at first, but decided to fix our friendship again. He was my first bestfriend, my first love...and always will be. People get confused if he and I are even in a relationship, cus no matter what we always acted like childhood best friends, pulling pranks, acting like goofballs and jokers, and even fight side by side when we are out of on missions. Hes my partner in crime but hes well....more than that)

► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ ( Well.... not much of something I believe in, but there are times where things just click later on)

► Who ended your last relationship ➔ ( Never had a relationship ended, still with my childhood friend....or technically childhood crush, and we both are still in love with each other til this day )

► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ ( Had some old friends who did to me, so I had return the favor.... )

► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ ….. 

► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ (Well I did hug my husband.... when I woke up in the morning and he was brushing his teeth and....okay next question please!!)

► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ ( Not interested )

► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ …. ( Yeah, not to mention I shattered my mind until I went genocidally insane....but thats all in the past... just making amends now )

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ ( Mainly love....I mean...sometimes you can get crazy when you're in love....right?)

► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ ( Definitely both! )

► Cats or Dogs ➔ ( I love them both, but I'm more of a dog person )

► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ ( A few best friends....one or two would suffice )

► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ ( Would mostly like a romantic night in, it just has such a serenity to it, but sometimes some Wild nights out are fun too, going to some clubs, getting drinks, maybe an arcade or an amusement park )

► Day or night ➔ ( Mostly night time )

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ ( When I was a kid, yep, mom would want to kill me haha.... not literally, its just a joke...haha )

► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ ( Sometime.... okay yeah a lot haha )

► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ ( back then....I do, and it did hurt, and it hurt others if I lose myself... )

► Wanted to disappear ➔ ( Invisibility magic, I'm down for that! besides the joke, it crossed my mind a lot )

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ ( The eyes.... cus there's more in it then what we know )

► Shorter or Taller ➔ ( I have no preference in that )

► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ ( I would say intelligence... attraction doesn’t mean shi-...errr… matter to me. I think whats on the inside is more attractive than whats on the outside, and even intelligence can be attractive.... which is why i fell in love with Jaydes….whos my husband and childhood friend, if I didn't mention his name in the previous questions I mean...) 

► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ ( Is that even a question? Of course a Relationship, why would I do a hook-up?.... I prefer romance and loyalty over anything... anything just to wake up in the next morning, next to the one I love, and knowing that I am loved )

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ ( Only my parents, my uncle, and most of my siblings....we all had our... fall outs in the past, but we did our best to bury the hatchets as time goes by....some of them I’m still trying to recover with.... my dumbass brother I still have a bit of my fall-outs with, and another one I never met... but shes somewhere out there.... another story my mothers family despises me to the core because she fell in love with my father, who is from a bloodline, the Katsuo, the my mothers bloodline, the Shiranuis, still bearing historic grudges against each other, even if that hatred subsided, some Shiranui’s out there still believe that hatred is neverending, leaving them a bad reputation to our world) 

► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ ( If you ever looked deep into my eyes, you'll probably know that I have )

► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ ( I did....it was a big mistake... all i wanted was to start my life anew but I... abandoned my family who still loved me, even Jaydes….and....sorry I should stop talking about this.. )

► Have you ever gotten kicked out? ➔ ( Well, in Family wise, not really )

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ ( A bunch...but only those who weren't really real friends. though Hate is a strong term, I lived my life of hatred and wrath, so I'm trying my best to find my inner peace and maintain it )

► Do you consider all of your friends good friends? ➔ ( Those who are true and real, I would consider them very good friends.... but its kinda hard to open but im doing my best to be real to them...hopefully they'll be real to me too..)

► Who is your best friend ➔ ( In Hydaelyn, two good friends, and another from a far off universe, different from mines too. The ones in Hydaelyn, they are both from the Steppe, funny thing is we almost look alike but even with my differences they're still around with me. )

► Who knows everything about you ➔ ( Not much, I just remain a deep mystery but its no big deal to me, I enjoy being an unknown, its very comforting )

Tagged by: @lareine-kira <3 thanks for the tagsss! :3

Tagging: @alun-ura @wolforya @cfasura07 and YOUUUUU \^-^/ if you want to I mean

[hysterialevi]

Lotus pt. 3 (Batjokes)

Author’s note: I’m honestly blown away by the amount of support you guys are giving me, and I’m overjoyed that you’re loving this story so much. I don’t think any of my fics have ever been this successful, and I’m glad to see that this is as exciting for you as it is for me. As always, enjoy :)

From John’s POV

THE FUNHOUSE - ONE DAY LATER

“I’ll always have your back, John,” I mimicked in my lowest voice possible. “I promise! You can trust me -- Bruce Wayne. You know, the guy who betrayed you on the bridge when you needed me most and turned out to be an undercover agent? Yeah, nothing shady about me whatsoever! It’s not like every word I say is a complete lie or anything! I’ll be your best buddy forever! Pinky swear!”

Willy peered at me from a nearby table, interrupting his game of cards with Frank as he eyeballed the doll.

“How long are you gonna play with that thing?” He whined. “It don’t even look like the man that much. It’s also kinda creepy.”

“Shut up!” I exclaimed back at him, pointing a finger. “Brucie and I are having a very important conversation at the moment, and you are not invited. Not to mention it’s rude to call him creepy. Then again, it’s also rude to cut fabric from someone’s suit behind their back just to make a doll of them, but I’m his friend! There’s an understanding between us, you got that?”

Frank jumped in. “His friend? I thought we were trying to kill Bruce.”

“Not kill,” I specified. “At least, not yet. Just...beat to a pulp. If that’s even possible. Besides, you’re telling me you’ve never wanted to kill any of your friends before?”

Frank flicked his eyes around the room awkwardly, unsure of what to say. “Um...not really, no.”

I scoffed, leaning back in my chair. “Then you’re not truly friends.”

I turned to the doll again, tidying up its yarn hair. “Sorry about that, buddy. Tsk, people can be so inconsiderate sometimes. It’s like no one has manners these days. I think it’s something in the water. Gotham’s always had a weird smell to it. Anyways -- where were we?”

Before I could continue, a woman’s voice called out to me in a sing-song tone. “Yoohoo! Puddin!” 

I rolled my eyes at the second interruption, letting out a breath.

“Can’t a man and his arch-nemesis just have a chat in peace?”

Harley walked up to me, crossing her arms in annoyance. “Well, if ya love him so much, then why don’t cha go talk to the real Bruce? We’ve been sitting here for ages. I’m getting bored, sweetie. I want some action. And more importantly, I wanna find that survivor.”

I pouted, flopping the doll onto the table’s surface out of frustration. “I don’t know where he is though! No one’s seen him for the past three days! And he’s definitely not at Wayne Enterprises. It’s not like him to just...hide when there’s so much crime running rampant. I wonder if he’s okay...”

I gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth as a worrying thought struck my mind. 

“Oh no--” I blurted out, “what if we accidentally killed him with the bomb?”

Harley glared at me. “What about it? Why does it matter? Good riddance, I say.”

“Erm -- right!” I quickly covered, clearing my throat. “I just...I just wanted to play with him a bit more, y’know? No fun in winning by default.”

Harley’s glare didn’t disappear, but she let the subject go.

Pushing myself away from the table, I stood up and held a finger in the air as an idea popped in my mind.

“I know! I’ll check if he’s home -- pay a visit at that fancy manor of his. I’ve actually never been inside. It’ll be interesting to see.”

Harley took my seat, resting her feet on top of the table and kicking the doll aside. “What, you think Bruce will just let ya in?”

I prepared my gadgets, including the Batarang Bruce gave me a while ago as I felt my heart sink at the sight, attaching them all to my belt. 

“Don’t you worry about me, babe,” I assured, winking confidently as I headed out to my car. “He’ll never know I was there. I’ll be as quiet as church mice.”

WAYNE MANOR

Pulling up to the colossal, gloomy manor and parking in the spacious driveway, I instantly hopped out and made a beeline for the front porch, admittedly eager to see my ex-friend for some reason. 

Despite our past arguments and all the conflict that was currently going on between us, I couldn’t help but kind of...miss Bruce. He had been a part of my life for so long that, it just felt weird to have him suddenly drop out. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose. Trying to act like I meant nothing to him. Perhaps he thought that would push me away? Or maybe he thought I would just get bored of chasing him eventually.

Well, he was terribly mistaken.  As much as I cared about Bruce, someone had to pay for his betrayal on the bridge. We used to be in the same stitch -- best buddies for life -- but now, he had gone and torn us apart. I wasn’t going to let him get away with that. Not even justice was above being sentenced, and it was high time he learned that.

Peeking in through the tall, luxurious windows, I didn’t see any sign of Bruce -- or of anyone else for that matter -- and his butler, Alfred, had made himself scarce. The inside was actually rather dark, and it looked like no one had been home for days. It almost looked...abandoned. 

I was starting to get anxious. Where was he? Was he even still in Gotham? Or did he find a way to escape? I decided to investigate the area for clues.

Using the Phalanx Key we stole from Bruce’s vault, I unlocked the front doors and subtly slipped inside, quietly shutting the entrance behind me as a gust of wind rushed through. The temperature seemed to drop by ten degrees as soon as I walked in, and this unsettling feeling of loneliness sat heavily in the air. It reminded me of the subway station, and I hated it.

Aimlessly wandering around the manor for a while, I gazed upwards and admired the eloquent designs on the ceiling along with the number of chandeliers dangling around, my mouth hanging open in awe. The furniture alone in this place could’ve bought a second manor, and the building itself just screamed “Gotham royalty.” I wondered if anyone ever helped Bruce “fill up” the space. After all, the women in this city seemed to adore the billionaire playboy, and it honestly surprised me that Bruce had never been married. The guy had to love someone.

Then again, they could’ve been dead or something. It seemed like most of his friends were.

Accidentally stepping on a remote that had been sitting on the floor, I jumped as a large TV suddenly flashed on, the news rambling on about all the havoc blowing up in Gotham right now. Robberies, murders, people not daring to step foot outside because of the Lotus threat...it was all music to my ears. I explored the manor more.

Averting my focus to an impressive bookshelf standing behind me as the news carried on, I found myself strangely intrigued and began to explore its contents, trailing my fingers along the books’ spines.

Judging by the almost perfect condition of a lot of these books, I assumed that Bruce hadn’t actually read most of them...and I didn’t blame him. These genres were atrocious. Banking? Academics? Budgeting? What was a billionaire doing with a book about budgeting? These must’ve belonged to his father, back when he was still amassing his insane wealth by picking the entire city clean. I moved on from these texts, travelling elsewhere in the bookshelf.

Standing on my tippy-toes, I noticed a lone, intricate music box occupying the very top shelf, hiding away from sight. It appeared rather new, actually, and it looked like no one had used it yet. I took the music box into my hands.

What was this? I asked myself, gently placing it on a nearby end table. It looked like a gift for someone. Maybe Bruce did have a significant other, after all. Who was it though? The cat lady? Probably. Or it could’ve been for his new best friend, Agent Avesta. I carefully opened the music box and wound it up, examining the inside as I listened to its haunting yet beautiful melody.

The song it played sounded like a romantic waltz for two ghosts, and the emptiness of the manor only enhanced its eerie chimes -- but I couldn’t deny that I felt at peace when I heard it. It was almost like...Bruce thought of me when choosing this song. It fit perfectly.

As for the music box itself, the outside had been decorated with a smooth coat of black paint, and there were highlights of silver designs tracing around it, sort of like a frame. The inner parts however, were much more vibrant. In the center, there was a small, spinning ballerina holding a rose close to her chest, and the space around her was cushioned by purple and green velvet. As for the upper lid, I could see a short, engraved message shimmering in the dim light, reflecting the velvet’s colors. I squinted my eyes, reading the silver calligraphy:

“You’re my light outside of Arkham. --Bruce”

I paused, scratching my head. Why did that sound so familiar? Where had I heard that sentence before? I could’ve sworn someone else said that once. I backtracked through my memories.

Wait a minute.

That was what I said to Bruce back at the cafe, when I pretended to be talking to Harley. Why did he write it down here? He wasn’t...he wasn’t trying to steal Harley away from me, was he? With my own phrase, no less. I laughed to myself. She would never pair up with someone like him. Especially not after the way he betrayed me.

But...what if it wasn’t for Harley? What if...what if it was for--

“--Breaking news,” the TV suddenly blurted out, interrupting my thoughts and causing me to jump again. I turned towards the wide monitor, curious to see what happened.

The same old reporter, Jack Ryder, adjusted his glasses in a grim manner, clearly upset about something.

“This just in,” he announced morosely. “Billionaire and CEO Bruce Wayne has been confirmed dead after battling with the Lotus virus -- a result of the Joker’s attack on Wayne Enterprises three days ago.”

My heart froze in place and I nearly fainted on the spot, taking a second to comprehend what I just heard.

What did he say? B-Bruce was...dead? No, no. That couldn’t be right. They had to be mistaken. I hastily changed the channel, only to come across another news station. There were two reporters this time, sitting side by side as they read off the teleprompter.

“--Well, enough about the weather,” one of them said in a joking manner, switching the subject, “I think all you folks out there joining us today will be far more interested in another topic. A topic relating to one of Gotham’s most prominent citizens. You see, mere moments ago, the CEO of Wayne Enterprises -- Bruce Wayne himself -- was confirmed dead after falling victim to the notorious Lotus virus. Apparently, he managed to survive the virus’s fatal symptoms for an entire three days before finally succumbing to it earlier this morning.”

I hurriedly changed the channel again, the remote trembling in my hand as I shivered from shock, unable to process the news. There was no way Bruce could be dead. The man was practically invincible. A puny little virus couldn’t kill him...right?

But no matter how hard I tried to escape, or how many different reporters I listened to, every single one of them talked about the same thing. In fact, I was flipping through the channels so fast, it started to sound like they were finishing each other’s sentences.

“Philanthropist and entrepreneur Bruce Wayne has passed away--”

“--he was killed by the Lotus virus--”

“--The Agency is still investigating the attack--”

“--who is the Joker, and why did he kill Bruce Wayne?”

“--A service will be held at Divinity Church--”

“--What will happen to Wayne Enterprises now?”

“--no survivors were accounted for during the Joker’s assault--”

“--yet another life taken in this tragic war. The only question now is--”

“--We all have to wonder--”

“--Bruce Wayne’s death has left the city wondering--”

“Who will the Joker go after next?”

Steadily backing away from the TV in horror, the remote slipped from my grasp as my body came to a halt and I felt myself struggling to breathe, my entire world collapsing around me within a matter of minutes.

I. Killed. Bruce. I actually...killed. Bruce. This was all my fault. He died because of me. This was all. My. Fault.

Burying my face in my hands, my eyes began to water as I slid to the floor out of helplessness and suddenly realized why Bruce had been missing for so long, the thought stabbing me right through the chest. He was never hiding like I suspected. He wasn’t playing games with me, or trying to trick me like my paranoia insisted. The whole time, my closest friend had been dying...and I did nothing to stop it. 

I mean, I wanted him to pay for what he did to me, and I was still beyond furious...but I never meant for this to happen. I never actually wanted him to die. I violently shook my head, nearly ripping my hair out. Oh god...what had I done?

“...Bruce,” I whimpered, as if he could hear me, “I’m...so sorry. I just wanted...I just wanted to be loved by you. I never thought it would go this far. I’m so sorry.”

Curling up into a ball, I shut out the world around me and rocked back and forth as the music box’s melody continued to echo throughout the manor’s walls, softly lulling me to sleep. Bruce bought the box for me, didn’t he? I could see that now. I was Bruce’s light outside of Arkham, and I let him die alone in the dark when he needed me most.

I clenched my fist, tears streaming down my face. 

Even though there was no one else to blame for Bruce’s death but myself, I still felt the sudden urge to make Waller pay for all the pain and suffering she put him through. I didn’t know why, but my gut told me the Agency had something to do with this, and I intended to bring them to justice. The right way this time.

Waller killed the Riddler, she nearly killed me, and now, I was more than certain she killed Bruce too. It was high time someone put her and her corrupt organization down, and I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that happened.

Not for me, and certainly not for Gotham...

...but for Bruce.

[burningartwork]

Top 10 favorite characters Meme

The Rules:

Choose from 10 different fandoms & any medium (anime, manga, novels, movies, etc, Whatever you like) and tag 10 people.

(Did this in 2016 and I thought I’d share. The list has for the most part remained the same. Honorary #11 is probably Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney. <3)

10. Sokka – Avatar the Last Airbender / Bolin - The Legend of Kora Starting off this list, I guess I'm going with a pair so I'm.... cheating? It was sort of impossible to chose between these 2 since they're both my favorites of their individual series/arcs(?) but part of the sameish fandom  and do share some similar traits and functions in their group. They're both the funny guys and both have been often under estimated. While Sokka fulfills my need to love a brainy character who is simultaneously hilarious, Bolin does the rest by giving me an adorable, nice-guy character... who is equally funny... you... guys will start to notice a trend with the male characters I like... so... don't be too surprised if the same types pop up. I apologize in advance.

9. Sailor Jupiter aka Makoto Kino - Sailor Moon Out of all the Sailor Scouts, Makoto has always been my favorite! I always saw a bit of myself in her & her dual personality. Both tough and strong but with a gushy girly side to her too. I LOVE that about her and how balanced and natural it is for her nature. She's lovely and passionate and loves deeply even if she is tall and seems intimidating.

8. Zack Fair – Final Fantasy 7 Okay, here's my dopey joker fetish coming though... this will be followed by my "brainy" type right afterwards. lol. Zack Fair is hands down the funniest & most likable FF7 character period. I mean, what else is there to say about this guy? Fun, kinda reckless, skilled, an elite soldier, has that black haired, blue eyed combo I go nuts for and is just so willing to take little Cloud under his wing while winning off his future girlfriend in no time. lol Too charming for me to resist.

7. Donatello - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles And now for the brainy type. XD Donatello has ALWAYS been by favorite turtle and not just cause my favorite color is purple. lol I mean, I just like everything about him from his scientific brain to his choice of weapons. And I always say this to people who don't like Donatello: "If he wasn't around... all the turtles, in every series, in every continuity & medium... would totally be dead." Seriously. Donatello keeps the turtles alive for the most part by being a once in a life time genius. He doesn't get enough credit and need more praise.

6. Zoe Washburne – Firefly ... if I were to say that I had a crush on a fictional girl character, it would be Zoe. She's just... so awesome. Just so cool... like, I can't even describe it.

5. Helga G Pataki – Hey Arnold Helga from Hey Arnold is amazing. She's just so insanely in love with Arnold to the point that the football head is her muse and the light of her life. She's so obsessed that she builds shrines to his name. It's hilarious and amazing. She's a total nutjob and I love it! But she's also very astute, clever, a writer and it's painfully amusing to watch her lock that side away when she's at school to become a bossy bully. But you know... it's been 15 years almost... enough is enough. It's time to tell Arnold how you feel Helga! (and NO, I do not count that Hey Arnold movies as her confession. It was awful and very messy) The Jungle movie will FINALLY be released in 2017. I can't wait!

4. Ariel - The little mermaid Like I could leave her out. Ariel was MY Disney Princess. Fearless, curious, adventurous & a total dreamer wanting to live in the world above! I feel like she was very unjustly attacked by the internet as wanting to live out of the sea for a guy. I'm sure that cave of her treasures took her months if not years to fill and the prince was the icing on that cake combined with adolescent rebellion and persuasion after having all her collection destroyed by her father. She was not even crown princess for heaven's sake! Duh, she'd react impulsively!!! *heaves* Okay, okay. Anyways, Ariel single handedly revived Disney and paved the way for the Modern Princesses so don't say mean things about my girl Ariel!

3. Ron Weasley – Harry Potter (Books) Ron. Yeah, love this red-headed firecracker. I'll be frank, while I do enjoy movie Ron, Rupert Grint needed to have more grit written in role just to match up to book Ron. Book Ron practically acted on instinct for everything. He braved the Spiders for Hermione (it was his choice in the books) he tried to curse Malfoy and punched him in the face several times in the books. While I'm normally into different types of male characters, this red-head won me over quickly in the books even edging out funny brothers Fred and George and I think he deserved to be with Hermione after all he went through... i also have confidence issues so I relate to him a lot.

2. (Future) Trunks Brief - Dragonball Z Oh yes. My original Anime Crush. It took a very special character to dethrone Trunks from the top spot. What to say about him? Sweet, courageous, powerful so very likable. Purple Hair for the win! The Future Trunks version has always been my favorite. Being partially raised by Gohan in his dystopian timeline, his personality became kind and understanding and his quest to save his earth in the future was one of my favorite plots! Also, fell in love with his voice actors (both of them). A perfect paragon character... like the guy blow.

1. Robin/Nightwing/Agent 37 aka Dick Grayson - Batman/Nightwing/Grayson comics by DC Comics So this one was a sinch. I am flat out in love wit this character. If I could take any fictional character and bring them into real life, this guy would top my list every time. Dick Grayson, the original Robin, had been my re-introduction into mainstream comics on the DC side of things and boy what a pull! Fully encompassing everything that I find attractive in a man, (even going so far as to coincidentally having physical traits that I find attractive: dark hair & light eyes with a lean but muscular body) Dick is smart, objectively handsome, funny, playful/boyish & has a pure-hearted urge to do what's right because he believes it's what must be done. He differs greatly from his mentor's (Batman) motivations & methods by not being driven by vengeance but rather by justice & diving into a battle rather than hiding in the shadows. This former circus acrobat turned vigilante crime-fighter, is also a natural leader who people tend to trust easily and is always looking to help others with his (seemingly) constant need to be everyone's big brother. This is sooooo attrative to me and the fact that he is known to have the finest butt in all of DC doesn't hurt either.

I think in the future I might do art of all the characters in this meme... Gosh, I haven’t drawn Trunks since the early 2000s. After watching his ark in DBZ Super I have more motivations to do so...

Anyhoo, hope you got some insight into my tastes... and yes, I know, no Kingdom Hearts, Zelda or MLB characters but those franchises, I like more as a whole. But these particular characters I still like without context. (if the people I tag do this, remember to tag me back so I can read it!) And of course, if you want to do this, do it! Tag me also so I can read! @euclidstriangle @kidokaproject @stekadarr @sixofclovers @liberatedpuppeteer @littleredjay @fluoroidtheauthor @april-lilies @sofiedraws​ @re-defenestratin​  @ofpaintedflowers​ @pixelatedcoeur​ @pinoote-peanut​

[xtremedespair3d]

HajiKo Anime: Summer 2020

Previously I made a post where I talked about my first impressions of the Summer anime I’ve watched, now that the Fall season is getting closer, now it’s finally the time to give my final impressions of everything I watched this season.

(I wanted to make a custom thumbnail for this post like I did with the previous one but I gave up with the idea afterwards)

(Also, I had some of this post in draft for a while but on September 29th, I spent HOURS and I WROTE a lot of good shit before and for some god forsaken reason Firefox decided to crash. Everything I had written before is gone and I have not even saved at all since, I’m so god damn salty. Now you will never experience what have I written before and all I wrote now are just bare remains from what I last remember writing, I was so god damn salty but in the end the rewrite worked out well, I did the best I could to rewrite some of the same things I said before and I did some little changes and added new things so I was satisfied, I hope you can still enjoy the post.)

As usual, here’s the tier of everything I watched this season:

(Higher resolution)

By the way, as of 2021 I think I might make only ONE tier for every anime I’m gonna watch that entire year, as I publish my first tier of the Winter season, I’ll be adding more visuals of the Spring anime and so on, even if I might get lost in finding the visuals as I edit my template, this is because I’ve been constantly making way too many standalone tiers for a single season FOR A YEAR, I bet I’ve must have been taking a lot of the website’s space for something very small and irrelevant.

TierMaker should have better options on whether the tiers your making are public or not, and I read the terms of services conditions, I’m kind of scared on what to do next with using TierMaker for doing these kinds of tiers, I can’t just find a random blank template and use GIMP.

Uzaki-chan: Aside from simply saying “This was a very good show, I had plenty of laughs” or something, the main thing I want to talk about isn’t so much in the show itself, but rather how Uzaki-chan herself, Hana Uzaki, has become a target of SJWs in one of the worst anime controversies ever, even worse than Goblin Slayer.

As for the series itself, I really liked it, I had plenty of good laughs and it was just fun to watch, and I’m really happy that season 2 is happening now too.

Fire Force: There is something about the feel of the show, these awkward long slow moments and stuff and everything else kinda drives me insane, but until the second half of the first season with the Adolla Burst and stuff, that’s where now I’m getting very intrigued in the plot, the worldbuilding, everything, and this season continues to expand the story and it gets even more interesting, and the animation can be really nice too.

Re:Zero season 2: Echidna is best girl, that’s it, that’s the review.

All jokes aside, I’m liking this season so far, it gets somewhat confusing but I’ll figure that out, and it’s strange that we’re only having the first half of the season this Summer and we will have to wait all the way to Winter 2021 for the series to continue, it’s a very Ufotable thing to do and hell, even Magia Record is still in production as of now.

Oregairu season 3: Let me give you a little bit of a retrospect: I honestly vaguely remember what even happened in the first two seasons, as I started watching this season, I started to remember at least one key moment from season 2 and even the characters, which I kinda feel like I like most characters, except Irohas is my least favorite, maybe Komachi too when she constantly says “kimochiwarui” but she’s not extremely annoying like Irohas. I still think how these last two seasons are visually impressive in contrast to the first season, that one’s painful to watch, the voice acting is particularly interesting too.

Now that the series is over, let me give my overall thoughts on the Oregairu series as a whole. The series overall isn’t a series I wouldn’t consider be a huge part of my life, I’m not hugely impressed with it but there are things I liked and I would still talk that I had seen the series, it’s kinda something.

Donkyuu Hentai HxEROS: This one’s the most conflicting ecchi series I’ve ever watched in my life. On the first episode, I was into it at first, but then I started to feel lukewarm about it, but then episode 5 was the one episode I got genuinely the most impressed, and the next few episodes have started to degrade on me, it was a complete 50/50 of a series to watch.

My biggest problem of the series is Kirara, her writing and just her overal existence, she’s the most painfully unlikeable main ecchi heroines I’ve ever seen in my entire life. On one hand, she looks cute, but boy, I fucking hate her so much, I can’t stand for how she is at all, I absolutely prefer her young lowkey pervert self from the flashbacks, she might even be the worst girl ever. If there’s any best girl in this series, it’d probably be the other HxERO girls like the Saitama branch teammates, the girls from the Toyko branch and even Chacha (And the shota (?) from the Toyko branch is best boy). The flashbacks are especially sad, it really hurts me how Enjo and Kirara’s happiness got taken away so god damn bad.

As someone who’s completely spoiled with full blown hentai instead of ecchi nowadays, I usually prefer girls written as perverts or something, someone who can be okay with what the MC does and what not, anyway, the other HxERO girls seem to be absolutely fine with doing the H-Energy and stuff, but Kirara is so intolerable to watch. Even Chacha and Dark Kirara (A hallucination reflecting Kirara’s young self dressed in a iliy outfit) encourage Kirara to be more honest with her feelings about Retto and try to bring her to her old self.

(I really hope this doesn’t sound sexist)

The animation was decent, the visuals looked nice but there are times the animation can be a little off, especially episode 11 which was awful, then there’s also the annoying censorship even the AT-X broadcast didn’t help, and by the way, the “H-Energy” version that comes out a week after the original episode premiere was not worth it at all, it only decensors some irrelevant parts, the steam and such, it doesn’t even decensor the boobs, thankfully the Blu-Rays are here to save the day.

I judge Kirara a lot which is my deal breaker with the series, but what about the story or the concept even? The concept of the story, the themes and everything seems okay, nothing really special about it that kinda makes up for the series being decent.

This isn’t the worst ecchi series I’ve seen in my life, but certainly the most mediocre, one that I felt it was truly frustrating to watch and I’m not even sure if I should make rank this as C or even D which I ended up on the former for the pros being the visuals and the concept being okay. Take me back to Winter 2020 with Ishuzoku Reviewers. Maybe I should have watched Peter Grill this season instead.

Honorable mentions:

BanG Dream Garupa Pico Ohmori: I gotta be real about the Garupa Pico series overall now, not just with Ohmori but with the first season as well.

To be brutally honest, I don’t really find humor in this series as much, though in some cases there are episodes that did make me laugh, I mean, the series is still entertaining to watch as it is but at the same time I’m not really impressed, it isn’t much of a constant laughing stock series as I wanted it to be, and never has been even with the first season to begin with.

Before the series came out, I had an argument with someone who hates the main Bandori anime series because of the “forced drama” and they called the Garupa Pico series “the good series,” it seriously frustrated me because the third season from this Winter was so good, it’s probably the best Bandori season yet because of the character interactions and it made me become a fan of RAS. I don’t hate the Garupa Pico series, it still has its charm, I like the visuals (I’m surprised that the Garupa Pico series are animated by Sanzigen as well) and I admire how the series is watchable on YouTube via the official Bandori channels, but in my opinion, this is probably like a 7/10 B rank series at best, it isn’t something that’s gonna stick and be a huge part of my life like the main series.

With that being said, I would probably like to go back to the Spring 2020 tier I made and would put Garupa Pico Ohmori on B in retrospect, but I’m still gonna keep it as it is because at the time I was really surprised for its sudden existence.

General overview and critiques of the overall Garupa Pico series aside, let’s talk about Ohmori for once, if there’s one thing I have to give huge thumbs up for is introducing RAISE A SUILEN and Morfonica and the series continuing to last for two-cours, one-cour for a short series can be such a waste, even better comedies like Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter (I have something special to tell you about it below), I really like that the series is very long so I can watch all the misadventures for every band, but at the same time, even if RAS and Morfonica have finally been introduced, they’re still somewhat irrelevant and underused which makes me sad since Bandori 3 really made me a huge fan of RAS and I want to see more of them, and oddly enough, they probably can’t even bother trying to update the ending theme by including RAS and Morfonica, both in the visual and the song itself, if there’s gonna be a new Garupa Pico season in the next two years, hopefully RAS and Morfonica will become regular cast members. As for Morfonica, I have no idea and I don’t really know them much, I seriously need Bandori 4 to happen so it can introduce Morfonica and make me understand them.

As Joaquin Phoenix Joker said: “Comedy is subjective, Murray.”

Welcome to the Japari Park season 2: If there’s some things I have to complain about this second season is that I wish the series would continue to do these secret mystery Kako recordings during the credits like the first season had, and I wish they would stop doing these Friend trivia segments with non-existent Friends, the first season always did these segments with Friends who are actually featured in one episode or something, now that the series has been doing these segments with Friends that don’t even appear in the series, it makes these segments absolutely pointless.

Speaking of Kemono Friends, after the Welcome to the Japari Park series, who knows if the franchise’s anime future will live on given on how widely panned Kemono Friends 2 was. SEGA’s Chocotto Anime Kemono Friends 3 shorts have pretty much ended, I was actually eager on watching these shorts but they haven’t made any new short for a long time. What about 2021? Should we expect a Kemono Friends 3 anime? Probably not, and with the existence of the game with the same name, it’s gonna be extremely confusing whether this Kemono Friends 3 anime should be the third season of the main series or might be an adaptation of the game, whatever it turns out, I’d still watch it anyways because I want to continue to observe the Kemono Friends anime adaptations unfold, and I’d still be confident it would still be nowhere near as good as the first season with Tatsuki.

By the way, since September 16th, SEGA finally released not one, but FOUR new Chocotto Anime Kemono Friends 3 shorts after so long! (1, 2, 3, 4), I just happened to find that out as of the (re)writing of this, September 29th. My question is, what did it even take so long to make new shorts? One would assume is most likely COVID because that affected quite a lot of anime, but at least we finally got not one but four new videos of the Kemono Friends 3 shorts.

My Hero Academia: Make It! Do-or-Die Survival. Pretty strange for a new My Hero Academia OVA to come out this time.

Aggretsuko season 3. If there’s one thing I’d like to say about this season, or at least the last few episodes, it’s that this season has quite the darkest season finales for Aggretsuko I’ve ever seen.

Plans for Fall:

This was the weakest season of the year despite Uzaki-chan and Fire Force (Fruits Basket, Garupa Pico and Japari Park too but I don’t count leftovers), it’s a shame considering how this decade had started strong with quite some good shows and Summer has always been my favorite anime season, but the line-up isn’t as great as before, if Akudama Drive and Danmachi season 3 wouldn’t have been delayed if it weren’t for COVID, they would have made this season slightly better, but now that I think about it, it was for the best for them to get delayed because this Fall line-up is looking a million times better, hell, it’s looking to be the best season of the year!

Now, whenever I talk about the Fall anime season, we can’t forget the most important thing ever: My birthday! If you have no idea, I’ll probably remind you a billion times my birthday is coming soon, October 4th, and one of the things I always look forward the most is watching day 1 anime that come out in my birthday, but alas, I started to feel like I’m not looking forward to my birthday this year AT ALL, mainly because Venom Let There Be Carnage got delayed until June of 2021, and that really sucks so bad because THAT WAS MY ONLY CHANCE TO SEE A VENOM MOVIE IN MY BIRTHDAY, SOMETHING THE FIRST FILM SHOULD HAVE BEEN BECAUSE IT CAME OUT A DAY LATE! IT WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY TOPPED JOKER AS MY #1 BEST BIRTHDAY FILM EVER! My birthday gets even more depressing when there’s literally not a single anime that remotely interests me coming out in my birthday and most of the anime I’m the most excited for are coming out before and long after my birthday, the only choice I have is Talentless Nana, or Munou na Nana if you’d like to call the series but I like using the former, I watched the trailer of it and it was okay, not really impressed but might as well give it a shot in my birthday, if I didn’t like it, might as well rewatch the anime that came before it.

Anyways, enough talk about my birthday, let’s talk about my most anticipated Fall shows:

Akudama Drive - October 8th: Since the foundation of Tookyo Games, a new studio by Kazutaka Kodaka,and Kotaro Uchikoshi with artists like Rui Komatsuzaki and Shimadoriru, this anime by Pierrot was the #1 thing that got my most attention, and I can’t believe that we’re so close to the release! Though I SERIOUSLY wish this would come out on my birthday.

Danganronpa may be over but as long as there’s new projects with Kodaka and Komatsuzaki onboard, such as Akudama Drive and the upcoming Tribe Nine. Oh, and speaking of Danganronpa, guess what?... THERE’S GONNA BE AN AKUDAMA DRIVE AND DANGANRONPA COLLABORATION!!! (News provided by the official Akudama Drive Twitter account) Not only there’s gonna be illustrations by Rui Komatsuzaki but if the translations are correct, there’s gonna be more projects along the way! A Danganronpa and Akudama Drive collab is something I just never knew I needed in my life!

I’m absolutely calling it, this is definitely gonna be my AOTY, it may be based due to the fact that I love the Danganronpa franchise to death, but I’ve always had my eyes on this and I want to see it now!

By the way, I just realized something, there’s this project with visuals by Rui Komatsuzaki and Shimadoriru that I have yet to see some news of!

It’s not Tribe Nine, that game looks like a completely different beast on its own and it’s in collaboration with another project.

Then there’s also this other game that’s, quote:

Collaboration of the development team of Danganronpa and Spike Chunsoft. Kodaka actually started this project before his retirement of Spike Chunsoft. We imagine a kind of cyberpunk world from this art. Komatsuzaki designs the characters, Shimadoriru designs background, and Takada directs the sounds.

Okay, that sounds really cool, but I’m more interested in the one project with the Rui Komatsuzaki and Shimadoriru visuals, I want to know more about them!

Sure, the concept art may not represent what the final product might end up looking, but World’s End Club (Originally called Death March Club) and Akudama Drive live up to their concept art, so that’s something!

Speaking of Danganronpa, the 10th anniversary stuff was ABSOLUTELY LACKLUSTER, I legit expected there might have been surprise announcements or anything that said there’s a new Danganronpa installment, but nothing absolutely relevant came from it, the Danganronpa x Akudama Drive collab was the only good thing from it. This is what I get for setting my expectations way too high, well, maybe not too high, but still, come on.

(But at the same time, do I REALLY want a new Danganronpa without the staple creators on board?)

Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter season 2 - October 7th: Girls’ Frontline isn’t my most played gacha game, a black sheep, probably the most blackest sheep since Granblue Fantasy, one I don’t heavily get invested to play like Fate/Grand Order, Azur Lane and even Arknights, though while I started playing Arknights at launch, I stopped around March because the game was very difficult and I lacked the resources, but I returned to the game in May after seeing my older sister starting to play Arknights. I returned to Girls’ Frontline because my Filipino friend started playing Girls’ Frontline around early May and he’s made quite a lot of insane progress in just 5 months, even I wouldn’t ever do that, but since September 28th, I uninstalled the game because I wanted to have some space to install Genshin Impact but at the same time I ended up giving on it too because it ran pretty slow for my phone even on the lowest settings and I almost had no storage left, I even tried installing the game on PC and I don’t know why but the game gave me last minute errors for some reason, so sacrifices had to be made for both Girls’ Frontline and Genshin Impact.

Anyway, enough talk with the gacha game side of things because I made quite a long un-spaced (?) paragraph, let’s talk about the GFL short anime series itself, even as a non-GFL player, I LOVED this series to death, hell, I was even lowkey sad when Healing Chapter ended, Madness Chapter, however... Not so much, we don’t talk about Madness Chapter. The biggest surprise I had when the series came out was that it came out in BiliBili with Chinese dub, hearing anime in Chinese dub is unheard of, I thought the series would be automatically in Japanese because the first trailer had an all-Japanese voice-over, but the Chinese dub was quite good, but then the Japanese dub finally came out--ON MY BIRTHDAY! on Japanese television (and BiliBili too). Well, that’s quite a lovely surprise, I managed to watch the JP dubbed premiere of Healing Chapter long before I went out with my family to have lunch and then go see Joker, it was the second 神映画 (Kami eiga - God film, I made that up) of the year, and my #1 was of course Avengers: Endgame. The JP dub of both Healing and Madness Chapter were very good too overall, it did some things better than CN and vice versa, even casting Persica’s JP voice which I really hope her seiyuu can be used again at some point, the JP broadcast of Healing Chapter also had these weird live-action segments of some dudes’ hands playing with the main character plushies doing random things... I don’t even know what they are or why they are, all I can say that they’re just pretty much fillers to fit the Japanese TV broadcast time limit.

I’m wasting quite a lot of time writing nonsense history of my experience with the Girls’ Frontline short anime series and let me get straight to the point of season 2, when the interview video was released, one of the animators said that they were working on season 2 and then the designs for AK-12 and AN-94 were shown, I’m of course hyped as hell for season 2! (Poggers) and, I don’t want to say this but because of COVID-19, I thought season 2 wouldn’t ever happen now, but it’s still alive and kicking and ready to be released! But there’s one MAJOR problem, apparently BiliBili is going to region lock the series! At first I wasn’t concerned about it for some reason, I had some misguided optimism that someone’s gotta have a VPN or do anything to try to upload the series on more accessible websites, but now the concern is growing bigger and bigger, but still let’s hope someone can still upload season 2 somewhere, I don’t want to see spoilers going around, even if I don’t follow a lot of Girls’ Frontline accounts which I should because sometimes I wouldn’t have ever found out about season 2.

Now I’m just seeing mostly stuff about Healing Chapter season 2, there’s one major question, should I expect Madness Chapter season 2 as well? As far as I know, there really hasn’t been any trailer for a potential season 2 or if it’s actually getting one at all, doesn’t seem like the series did well and I didn’t even care about it sometimes, which is great because Healing Chapter is far superior. But now that Madness Chapter may not get a second season, there’s also the question of what does M16′s Chinese VA mean by making the series “longer,” longer as in be a couple of minutes longer? Although 3-4 minutes is already a decent runtime, it’s not insanely short but I’m down if they’d make it at least a couple of minutes longer. Maybe making the series longer means that we can have a two-cour second season worth of Girls’ Frontline: Healing Chapter only? I would love for that to happen, but we’ll have to find out and see.

There are somethings I forgot to mention about Girls’ Frontline season 2, it’s aimed to be released on October 7th, which is surprisingly earlier than the first season’s release where it was late July. And October 7th being on Wednesday and I wish Girls’ Frontline season 2 would come out on my birthday, but oh well. I wonder if it’ll take about the same timeframe for the Japanese dub’s release, it came out on my birthday last year when the original Chinese dub came out in late July, so I might expect the Japanese dub of season 2 to come out in probably like Winter 2021 at best, we’ll see about that.

Even if I don’t religiously play Girls’ Frontline like I wanted to because I’m a big fan of guns, I wouldn’t mind playing Code Name Bakery, though. I may not fully understand the story in order but my Filipino friend would occasionally tell me spoilers and I don’t really mind that.

By the way, last year I made a shitpost video of Girls’ Frontline Healing Chapter but with Team Fortress 2 audio, now I finally made a new audio parody video but with a twist(ed metal)!

Osomatsu-san season 3 - October 12th: Just when I thought the future of the Osomatsu-san series would be over with the movie, but I’m glad my boys are still up and running! This is definitely gonna top Uzaki-chan as the better comedy of the year because Osomatsu-san has consitently given me a lot of laughs and delivers some really hilarious and bizarre moments.

Knowing that this is Osomatsu-san, wil it dare to even touch upon the topic of COVID-19 or something? There might be some scenes where the cast are doing a Zoom meeting, but they probably wouldn’t flat out say the name of the virus out loud, it’s very unlikely as I kinda find COVID-19 a somewhat sensitive topic and other media hasn’t or probably wouldn’t even try doing something about it.

Burn the Witch - October 2nd: I never really grew up nor care about Bleach, but I read the one-shot of Burn the Witch and I was intrigued by it, when the serialization was announced, I was excited because this series has potential, but there was a catch, this would be a short limited series for 4 chapters, so when I read the last chapter of the manga series, I was sad because the series has potential and it got wasted, but wait, it’s not entirely over yet, as this was only the “first season” and the manga series is getting a “second season.” Yeah, I have no idea how a manga having seasons even works, that doesn’t make sense.

Now here comes the film (or three-part episode series) and upon seeing the first trailer, I thought it would adapt the one-shot because that came out first, but as later trailers came out... It’s adapting the serialized series?! How long was this in the making?! How did the animators even get to read the four chapters of the serialized manga series before they were even released yet?!

Speaking of Bleach, there’s an upcoming new anime that’s adapting an arc, but like I said, I never grew up nor I care about Bleach, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Golden Kamuy season 3 - October 5th: Information on season 3 has been quite scarce for a while and hell, I have barely even watched the trailers, but at last it’s finally coming. As of the (re)writing of this post, September 29th, I finally managed to watch the OVAs and I forgot how hilarious and weird it can be and I love it.

Danmachi season 3 - October 2nd: Like Akudama Drive, this one was also originally gonna be released on Summer but was delayed because of COVID, I haven’t really talked about it more than I have with Akudama Drive because I’m the most excited for it.

Like Golden Kamuy, I happened to watch the recent OVA when season 2 ended and I haven’t seen the trailers at all. Man, I rarely watch OVAs nowadays. Also, speaking of the OVA, what did I just watch?!

D4DJ First Mix - October 30th: That’s right, this is ANOTHER Sanzigen produced anime of the year, Sanzigen has done it again, they’re absolutely killing this year. Anyways, I wanted to watch this for obvious reasons, but apparently I found out that this D4DJ franchise is a new property by Bushiroad, the publisher of the BanG Dream series, seems like Bushiroad has a soft spot for Sanzigen and I really can’t blame them.

Higurashi remake - October 1st: Starting the month off with a remake adaptation of Higurashi, lovely. I never grew up watching the original Higurashi anime, however, I do remember certain moments from the series... For the absolute worse. (1, 2). Yeah, that’s all I can remember. I really wish I could have binged the original series months ago, at least the first season because upon checking the Wikipedia, there’s a lot of other series and they’re just as long as the first one, there’s no way I would have survived all that binge-watching considering I have other things I’m heavily compromised such as my gacha gaming addiction, and yeah that was silly but I have nothing else to do in my spare time, with that being said about the binge-watching and consuming a lot of material, it would have been the time I binged all of Ikki Tousen for a week all over again.

I don’t know anything about the Higurashi visual novel, I don’t know if the original anime series was a good adaptation or not, I’ll probably let some VN royaltists tell me on this one, the 2000s were probably the time where VN adaptations were absolutely mediocre (which I can’t really say for sure because I don’t play VNs to even care to agree that the Tsukihime and Umineko anime are garbage), but I digress. If you couldn’t tell, the original Higurashi anime is that old, which I don’t understand why the need for an anime remake like at this time and what will it even do as an adaptation.

Watching the series is gonna be totally new to me, this isn’t like a Fruits Basket situation where I refused to watch the original anime series in favor of the remake, and by seeing some comparison videos, the remake is a million times far superior than the remake.

Guraburu! - October 8th: I don’t want to consider my older sister as my personal go-to Granblue Fantasy/Shadowverse/Bahamut source since whatever she says are her opinions and whatever which I wouldn’t always end up agreeing, even if she ends up saying that she hates the main Granblue Fantasy anime series. As for me, I found the first season decent, I liked the animation, but then the second season came and the animation is totally different and that gave me a huge sour taste in my mouth, just the visuals were enough to make me sick from the painful animation and I couldn’t care any single bit of it, and the fact that season 2 came out around the same time where other gacha game-based anime like Fate/Grand Order Babylonia and Azur Lane The Animation came out didn’t do any favors.

I don’t know if Girls’ Frontline or Granblue Fantasy are my blackest gacha game sheeps, I did have some decent experience with the game, I played the Christmas, the Persona 5 and the Detective Conan events (Though I didn’t finish the Conan event), I mostly opened the game for log ins but I occasionally went to do free rolls whenever those happened, lastly I played the campaign for a little bit but I stopped because the one chapter where I last played, I forgot what it was, but it required having a party with higher level and I couldn’t even beat a map once, so I gave up. I haven’t opened the game for a long time and I feel like I have pretty much retired from Granblue Fantasy. I wouldn’t like to try to follow my older sister in the shadows when it comes to Granblue Fantasy, Shadowverse or Rage of Bahamut any longer, so they’re totally out of my league.

My older sister seems rather optimistic about this series as it’s an adaptation of the game’s 4koma, going so far to say this would be “a million times better than the main anime series.”

Honestly I’m not feeling quite fond of these Cygames adaptations as a whole, they can be very hit or miss but the most important thing is whether they resonate with me or not, so I still end up watching everything anyways.

Also, we do not talk about the current Shadowverse anime because that is NOT the Shadowverse I know at all and I can’t believe it’s still going.

Attack on Titan: The Final Season - December 7th: Okay, I definitely did not expect quite a release date for the final season of Attack on Titan at all, it’s so weird that I even thought about whether or not I would classify this as a “Fall” anime and more like closer to the “Winter” season. I haven’t been following the news but my biggest question is, has the manga already ended? This wouldn’t be the final season if it wouldn’t adapt the entirety of the series finale as soon as the source material ended, kind of like Tokyo Ghoul:re.

Talentless Nana - October 4th: I already mentioned above that this is my only decent choice of day 1 anime to watch on my birthday, I’m just putting it here again for the sake of having the list complete.

Toji no Miko - Tomoshibi - October 25th, November 29th: Back when I first watched Toji no Miko back in 2018 (Wow, I already feel old), I found the series okay, they also released a mobile game at the time which I was like “Okay.” But for some reason as time went on I kind of grow to develop a negative aftertaste for the series, like it’s not very appealing or whatever. Then the Mini Toji series came out last year and it added fuel to the fire on my uninterest on the Toji no Miko franchise as a whole with Mini Toji leaving me a huge sour taste in my mouth, it wasn’t even funny, sometimes it was but most of it wasn’t.

I don’t want to associate Yoshinori Shizuma’s art heavily with Kancolle, but I even went so far thinking that Toji no Miko would be the Kancolle of swords or even a female Touken Ranbu of sorts but not exactly like Touken Ranbu, but it does nothing to help to gain interest.

I don’t know why I kind of feel that way towards the franchise, and after the mobile game’s release, I later thought Toji no Miko would become a failed franchise, so where we at now? Well, Toji no Miko is getting an OVA, but it’s not just a single OVA, it’s actually a two-part OVA, lovely. There’s just something about the series that makes me think it’s bland, it’s nothing special and whatever. I do think Yoshinori Shizuma’s character designs are nice, not great or rule 34 worthy but they’re okay at best, and that’s about it.

Mini Toji introduced the characters from the mobile game into the anime scene, and now the new OVAs are heavily based on the mobile game, but honestly, I prefer the characters from the anime series a million times better than the ones from the game, they’re rather forgettable.

You probably want to tell me that if I feel somewhat pessimistic about Toji no Miko, I should boycott the OVA, I’d like to but part of me tells me that maybe I shouldn’t blindly be a dick about it, so I guess I should give Toji no Miko one last chance. I wrote the release date just in case, I’ll probably forget about it anyways except there will be something that’ll make me remind the Toji no Miko OVA parts 1 and 2 will come out soon or have come out depending on the time.

(Speaking of Touken Ranbu, when the hell are we gonna get the new Touken Ranbu Hanamaru project? I recently read the news of the new Hanamaru project being in the works again to refresh my memory the last time I saw the news and it was from THIS JANUARY?! Holy crap, that was a really long time ago! I really hope this would resurface in 2021 and it might bring some interest in Touken Ranbu again, although this is Touken Ranbu and the fanbase are hardcore fujos so they’re still keeping the game alive in some way. I always thought the Touken Ranbu anime would now become dormant for some reason, especially when Ufotable is never gonna release the Katsugeki Touken Ranbu movie, they definitely must have ditched it in favor of more Fate and even Kimetsu no Yaiba. The Katsugeki Touken Ranbu film now is sitting next to Girls’ Work as Ufotable’s most infamous vaporware works.)

I guess that’s it for this post, I talked way too much about some of my most anticipated shows than others but it’s clear I do give a lot of thought into some of these things.

Anyways, I’ll see you later and don’t forget about my birthday!

Hajime Komaeda/XtremeDespair3D - Carrd.

If you want to do birthday donations: Here.

[thejokersenigma]

OC/Reader x Joker - Your Insane Part 3

Hi guys, sorry its taking me so long to get my writing out! My life feels really busy, and yet I'm getting nothing done!

So here is the next part of this series! I am hoping that the next chapter will actually have the Joker in it! haha

Hope you Enjoy!

P.S I would appreciate it if you would leave a comment or something! I feel like my inbox is pretty lonely and I want to know if I should continue this series!

Also, if you have a request just send me a message saying what you want and I'll happily give it a go! Any fandom is welcome!

MASTERLIST

I sighed heavily as I tossed another document on my pile of completed papers to my right before then throwing my pen down next to them and rubbing in exhaustion at my face. I was already feeling the effects of my very early morning start. I peered through my fingers at the rest of the large hall filled with other people’s desks, craning around my good ol’ pillar to get a decent view. Most of the desks were still empty, but the room had slowly filled up since I had arrived in the early hours and a few people milled around, in no rush to start the day.

I dropped my hands and turned my aching eyes back on the still-to-do pile on my left. It was smaller, but it was still going to take most of the rest of the morning at least. I had got here early in an attempt to catch up on the intimidating pile of work I had been so kindly given yesterday. I had hoped that the sooner I got this paperwork out of the way, the soon I could get onto something more excited – or at least the sooner I got some free time to dig further into this Joker character. Plus, there couldn’t be anything wrong with showing I was willing to work hard for this job - earn some brownie points.

Every time the main door opened I found myself glancing around the pillar at it, watching the officers come in for their shift. I tracked the newest man now as he made his way across the large room, I didn’t know the man’s name yet but my procrastinating eyes followed him anyway, until a woman crossed his path and my eyes shifted to her instead as she strode back the way the man had come from. She didn’t exit the precinct, instead she took a left and disappeared down a short corridor before I heard a quiet thud as a door closed behind her. Bingo. That had been what I was waiting for.

I didn’t get up immediately. I didn’t want to seem too eager - after all Hatty had clearly only just come in. Miss Hatty Hawkins, the keeper of the files.

I was getting fidgety as the minutes ticked by, I didn’t want to rush in there as though I had been waiting for her to arrive – although I had been - but I also knew I had a limited amount of time to get what I needed.

I left it 20 agonising minutes before I felt safe to ‘causally’ wander in to the file room.

“Morning Miss Hawkins.” I smiled warmly as she bent over her desk, gathering up a pile of files. She glanced across at me, still bent over.

“Good morning, Fran.” She replied back formally, though not unkindly. She was a polite, rule follower, never questioning what her duties were or how to do them. This might be difficult.

I waited until she had finished her arrangement and had straightened back up. “What can I do for you this early?”

I gave her a small smile at her observation, “I just need all the files you’ve got on the Joker.” I said.

Hatty’s kindly face clouded over, a slight frown shadowing her face. “You know I can’t give you those, Fran, you’re not cleared for them.”

“Oh, no I know!” I said quickly, a look of surprise on my face at the suggestion that I would want them. “They’re not for me, they’re for Detective Bullock.” I explained.

“So why isn’t Detective Bullock here, picking them up?” She asked suspiciously.

I raised a single disbelieving eyebrow at her, “Come on, Hatty.” I said, “It’s Bullock. I haven’t been here all that long, and even I know what he’s like.” Of course, this was all I guess. I hadn’t been at the precinct that long, but I knew the Harvey Bullock character and I could predict his behaviours just from the few brief encounters I’d managed to get with him.

Hatty grimaced at the truth in words, nodding her head from side to side in agreement before she headed deeper into the recesses of the room. I waited patiently at the desk as I heard filing cabinet drawers slide up and shut and the flicker of paper as she thumbed through the folders. Eventually I heard her heals clicking back down the room towards me and she emerged once more clutching a small stack of files.

“These are all the cases he has been associated with.” She told me, handing the pile over, “Bullock already has his general information file.” She pointed out.

I thanked her and headed back to my desk, trying to make sure I was walking like I wasn’t stealing criminal documents.

I got about an hour with the files before Bullock appeared at my desk. I was quite impressed, I thought he wouldn’t be in for at least another half an hour. Maybe he hadn’t actually got drunk last night – as hard as that was to believe.

“According to Hawkins,” He said as he strolled up to my desk, “you have something for me.” He raised his eyebrows in expectation. “That you should have delivered hours ago.” He added with a grumble when I tried to look at him with blank innocence. I rolled my eyes, clearly having been caught and gathered up the files, handing them reluctantly over. “Congrats on your initiative.” He quipped, grabbing the papers from me, “Next time work on your punctuality.” He began to move away but paused, glancing back, “And stay away from this case.” He said grumbled. “I’m sick of saying it.”

I smirked at his back as strode away. “Tough luck Harv, your punctuality was no better.” I muttered quietly to myself once he was out of earshot. If he had actually come to work on time, he might have been able to stop me, but, despite my short time with the random patches of information, I felt like I had gathered something – even if it was just a snippet. Too bad I wouldn’t be able to pull that move again.

Several months later, I might have forgotten the Joker if there hadn’t been several identical hits on hospitals, one a week after the first attack, then several more scattered through the last few months.

But there had been no new information. No new leads. No better idea of what he was after. No idea why he was doing this.

And me? The months I had been working here? All I had been given was more paper work than I had ever had during my years at school. It was getting ridiculous. I knew I was a rookie, but I would be a rookie forever if they didn’t let me get some experience out in the field. The most I had got was a short bought of traffic work a few weeks ago thanks to staff shortage. Admittedly, I would take that over the huge stacks of paperwork that always appeared on my desk each day, but I still craved more.

I continued to try to work hard on the papers – hoping somehow it would prove my worth to the precinct. But I could feel my fuse burning out, and I was beginning to procrastinate more and more, my mind still turning to the unsolved case of the Joker. I didn’t care that I wasn’t on it - I had made my bed with that - but I hated how long it was taking these well experienced, weathered police officers. Why hadn’t they found anything? Surely they must have had some break through?

Yet I had still heard nothing about it - and I was keeping all my ears out for even a whisper relating to this mysterious criminal.

And so, my mind kept coming back to the hospital attacks. There was something odd about it all. All the attacks had been the exact same. He always created an explosion in a storage cupboard, then vanished into thin air before anyone could get close, always leaving a calling card behind in the form of a joker playing card.

I pulled my head away from the page of work I had been trying to read whilst these thoughts turned in mind. I had no idea what I had just supposedly read, and I pushed the folder away in frustration. Why the hospitals?! I demanded in my head, staring at the pillar directly in front of my desk. The Joker had even gone back to the hospitals he’d already attacked, and, even with the increased security, he had done the exact same thing in each of the wings – always escaping before anyone could catch more than a glimpse of him. It was like he was toying with us – like he was finding some perverse fun from all of this.

But that couldn’t only be it. He couldn’t be going through all this effort for ‘fun’. Sure, I might believe the psychopath capable of that if it was a one off, or a couple, but this was clearly following a pattern and something about it felt strategic.

I grabbed a notepad and scribbled out a list of everything from the crime scenes that I could remember was the same. The bombs. The cards. The storage room. The disappearing act.

I tried to justify each other point: He had to disappear, or he’d get caught. Tick. He needed the bombs to create enough distraction to escape. Tick. The playing cards were just his calling card, his signature to say it was all his work. Tick. The storage room. Why always a storage room? Easy place to plant the explosives and camp out till he was ready to set them off? Tick.

I pursed my lips in frustration, before turning my attention to the single drawer in my worn little desk. I pulled it open, extracting a very crumpled, well used piece of paper. I unfolded it, reading the word I knew off by heart, the few scraps of information I had gotten from the Joker’s folder before Harvey had taken it from me, I had written it from memory, though I knew I was missing things.

Most of what I had read, and memorised, was on the effects of his so called laughing gas. It wasn’t much to help me to track him down, but at least it was some information. It mainly listed the different subtypes of the gas the joker had produced, and the varying effects they had on people - some knock outs, some poisons, some instant, some slow, and painful. All had the same characteristic signs – uncontrollable laughing and a permanent grin left on the victims face at death.

This gas was fascinating – as much as it was nasty. This Joker character was quite a chemist. But it made me wonder how he did it. What was this gas?

Wait. Of course. The gas was made of multiple different chemicals. That means that he’d need a supply. Maybe he got them off the black market - maybe he stole them. Both were just as risky as the other.

But where were there always certain gases? Especially knockouts. Hospital storage rooms.

But it was only a suspicion. I needed some proof. There was nothing to say that he was stealing gas canisters. He might have just destroyed them all in the explosion and I was completely barking up the wrong tree. Maybe I was just thinking too much. Maybe he was just insane.

I needed to figure out what was in those storage cupboards and what was in that laughing gas.

It didn’t take much digging to find out what was in each storage room of the hospital – anaesthetic gas canisters, pure oxygen and – surprisingly – nitric oxide. I frowned at this piece of information – a toxic gas in a hospital cupboard? - but after further research I found an article published by the medical researchers at the Gotham General Hospital that said there was new medical research that suggested poisonous gases such as nitric oxide could be used in small doses to aid the healing of wounds.

My next question was, what was in this Joker venom? I only knew one place where I might get this information.

I knocked on the doorframe of the open doorway to the police lab. “Hello?” I called into the empty room.

“Eh huh?” I heard a man’s voice call back from somewhere.

I stepped in, glancing around for the source of the voice, taking in the chemical equipment lining the sides and the locked cupboards of chemicals. I was examining what appeared to be a slide of blood when I heard a cough behind me. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

I spun around to see a man with shaggy sandy hair in a lab coat, his hands clothed and stained. “Uh, yes. I need to ask a question.” I said.

“Shoot.” He said, folding his arms and leaning back on the counter behind him, dangerously closed to a corker beaker of yellow fluid.

I folded my arms and leant back on the table behind me, mimicking his posture. “What happens if you combine nitric oxide with the Joker’s toxin?” I asked outright - no good beating around the bush.

“You mean the Joker’s poisonous gas?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yep.”

The man eyed me suspiciously. He bowed his head before lifting his head to meet my eyes again. “Wouldn’t know,” He admitted. “No one know what is in that laughing gas.” He told “– except maybe batman.” He joked with a slight smile.

I played along, giving him a small smile. “What if I got you a sample?” I asked.

He frowned at me like I was joking. “Good one.” He smirked, “No one knows where his warehouses are or where he gets it from. It’s impossible to track down the source.”

“I can be very persistent.”

He quirked a half smile at me and I couldn’t help but think he looked pretty handsome, the light overhead catching in his curls. “You’re that new girl aren’t ya?” He asked, readjusting his seat on the counter.

“I wouldn’t say new anymore…” I teased him, “I’m Fran.” I said pushing myself off from the table, stepping toward the man and holding out my hand in greeting.

He smirked at my actions, before copying me, “Sam.” He said, gripping my hand firmly, but kindly.

I chatted with Sam for a while longer, though we didn’t touch any further on the Joker gas. I asked about some of the odd chemicals around the room and he let me rant about the frustrations of being confined to a desk.

I left the lab feeling slightly more cheerful – after all I felt I had finally made a friend at my work – though I hadn’t managed to get any further with my idea on the Joker’s toxin. I was however, still determined to get to the bottom of its components, even if I had to make the thing myself.

As I walked back to my desk I suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder from behind and bring me to a halt, causing me to stumble back slightly. I glanced over my shoulder to the owner of the hand and came face to face with a familiar, rough beard and weathered features of Bullock.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to, kid.” He warned, glaring down at me with suspicion in his eyes. “What did I tell you about digging into this?” he demanded, his tightening his grip and causing his fingers to bite into my skin.

I turned to face him fully, causing him to release my shoulder. “I don’t know what you mean, I was just chatting to Sam.” I said innocently, trying to ignore the ache left in my shoulder.

“Don’t think I don’t know that you’ve been sneaking around and eaves dropping.” He snapped.

I knew he wasn’t buying any act of mine. “Look, Harvey.” I began with a heavy sigh, “I really think I’m on to something now.” I insisted, pleading with him to hear me out.

“He’s insane kid, he’s not up to anything.”

“He’s not though! Don’t you get it – it’s an act!”

He snorted dismissively, “And how do you know this, hmm? Do you know this freak? Are you buddies? ‘Cause if so, speak up, you’d be the key to finally catching that psycho!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. I did saying anything, lowering my head in defeat. Harvey saw he was winning and pushed on, “Now, that man is a cold-blooded psychopath who doesn’t do anything for any reason other than to cause chaos and suffering.”

“But he’s doing something behind all these hospital hits!” I insisted, “– there is a purpose behind all of them!”

“If there was, don’t you think we would have found it by now?” Demanded Harvey. “Keep your nose out of things you know nothing about and stay away from this case - or I’ll have you permanently benched by the commissioner.” He warned.

“You can’t do that!” I cried out angrily.

“No,” He admitted, with a tilt of his head, “but I can get you benched for at least the year – an uncooperating, disobeying, mouthy little rookie like you – easy to convince that you’d be dangerous sin the field.” He pointed out, “And I’ll just suggest that a little time out would be just the right thing to teach you a lesson - I’m sure my good friend Commissioner Gordon would agree.” He said slyly. I stared at him hard, trying to find the bluff in his words, but the triumphant smirk on his face made me know I wouldn’t find anything. I sighed heavily, feeling deflated and beaten. Harvey patted my sore shoulder heavily before beginning to amble off to his desk.

“Oh.” He called, stopping and turning back to me, “By the way, kid - stop showing everyone up with your speedy paperwork - no one likes a teacher’s pet.” I scowled at his back as he strode away, pleased with himself.

Now I felt really deflated.

[gazzhowie]

My Top 25 Movies of 2019.

It is indeed time… or at least, as is tradition, it is indeed now overdue for me to dust off the cobwebs from my Tumblr account and post my Top 25 movies of the year.

This time for 2019.

Years 2008 through to present are available in the archive. Frequent visitors know that I’ll throw out a few special mentions to all the films that I wish I could’ve included but couldn’t make them fit yet believe they deserve a shout out regardless and then I get stuck in to what I think are the 25 best films of the year.

As always, films listed are based on their UK release date whether that’s in the cinema or on DVD, VOD etc.

And no, despite several attempts, repeated proclamations on social media AND owning the bloody thing outright for the last 6 months, I still never got round to seeing Ash is The Purest White in time for my self-imposed deadline for this so if you’re here to see that lauded, I will dash your expectations now.

Anyway, without further ado, here’s the ‘also-rans’ and ‘near-misses’ separated per genre that very nearly made the final list:

In terms of comedies, I very much enjoyed The Breaker Upperers, The Favourite, Always Be My Maybe, Mega Time Squad, Good Boys, Brittany Runs a Marathon and – as ultimately disappointing as it turned out to be in comparison to the original – yes, Zombieland: Double Tap.

Dramas I really liked this year were The 12th Man, The Old Man And The Gun, The Man Who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot, White Boy Rick, Stan & Ollie, Deadwood: The Movie, The Sister Brothers, the first two thirds of Feedback, Hotel Mumbai, The Mule, Shadow, Thunder Road, The Clovehitch Killer, The Nightingale, Destroyer, Vice and, as uncomfortable as it made me, Ray and Liz.

Documentaries I rated highly in 2019 included Leaving Neverland, Free Solo, The Inventor: Out For Blood In Silicon Valley, Divide & Conquer: Roger Ailes and The Amazing Jonathan Documentary.

In terms of horror movies, rather controversially I seem to stand alone in saying I rather liked both Velvet Buzzsaw and The Dead Don’t Die. I also thoroughly enjoyed One Cut of the Dead, Happy Death Day 2 U and In Fabric, the last of which VERY nearly made the final Top 25 cut.

Action movies I was a fan of this year were both Triple Frontier and Triple Threat, The Quake (or The Wave 2: The Quake as it is inexplicably retitled in some countries), We Die Young which features a wordless and stellar Van Damme performance, Furie and Stuber.

On the blockbuster ‘stage’, I fully embraced the absolute utter insanity (or stupidity?) of The Wandering Earth, really liked Shazam! As well as Spiderman: Far From Home and Terminator: Dark Fate. Somewhat controversially, I also had a lot of fun with Jumanji: The Next Level, 6 Underground and Joker (a straight-up masterpiece that last movie most certainly is not!).

Finally, in terms of animation that I liked in 2019 I’d pay mention to How To Train Your Dragon 3, The Lego Movie 2 and Toy Story 4 – the last two being very likeable but totally unnecessary. And of course, Klaus which was a lovely, moving, visual joy that me and my family will return to a lot over the years.

Now… onto that Top 25:

25. BOOKSMART

I really loved this first time I saw it earlier this year. I found it very funny and thought the performances were delightful by the two main leads. I had issues with the clusterfuck that is the film's third act but not enough that I didn't hold a place for it in my Top 10 of the year for pretty much the last four months or so. Then I revisited it again recently and I’ve still got a huge amount of affection for it and there is still a large amount of it that makes me laugh out loud - but that third act REALLY rubs me the wrong way.

Asides from the clunky plot developments that exist purely to give the film conflict and some sort of narrative 'propulsion' it doesn't necessarily need AND on top of the fact that Billie Lourd's entire thing is embarrassing and awful (are we allowed to kind of lean in together and whisper yet that she can't act very well?), what really smarts is for a film that is meant to be this 'progressive' and female-centred, it leans in on the laziest and most horrible of high school comedy tropes - the horny teacher who beds the student! And like cliche dictates it is always a female teacher and male student because even a film as allegedly "progressive" as this is self-aware enough to know that if the sexes were reversed they couldn't / wouldn't get away with it.

In an age of #MeToo and #TimesUp the idea that a female filmmaker would go with this iffy fuckin cliche in her debut movie and have no problem at all leaves a horrible taste over the back end of an otherwise pretty great little film... But yeah, definitely still check out BOOKSMART. Its progressive, millennial bullshit stance is complete piffle. But its comedic set-pieces are a lot of fun.

24. IT: CHAPTER TWO

I don’t understand anyone who's coming away from IT CHAPTER 2 complaining there's a lack of scares. There's not a lack of scares at all. The problem is there scattered across a running time that is not structured well enough to accentuate them. There were some moments where I very nearly jumped out of my seat and left because of their effectiveness - the pay-off to Bev returning home as teased in the trailer? Fuuuuuuck THAT!

I think it is fair to criticise its flabbiness though… How the hell its director can talk about his intentions for a four hour cut of this pushed up alongside a three hour cut of the first chapter as some sort of hope for the future feels insane - FOUR hours? This thing is ten minutes shy of three and it feels excessive!

The lack of discipline in the editing bay is quite possibly the reward that comes from delivering a $700.4 million return on a $35 million budget the first time round. That lack of discipline doesn't make for a film as focused as it needs to be... Once you realise an hour in that the story structure is one in which each character is split off to revisit their past and then each character is then going to be given a 'teachable moment', you realise that you've essentially got to watch the same plot point be repeated SIX times round each time. And from a narrative perspective that's both annoying and exhausting, frankly.

Hand on heart though, it's a minor quibble overall because what is there is effective as hell and very entertaining. Think of it cinematically as too big a portion of a great frickin meal... It's a hypocritical complaint also because ultimately there is so much joy in watching these actors go at playing these characters (Bill Hader is an absolute marvel in this and Jessica Chastain lives up to the 'dream casting' suggestion the minute Sophia Ellis turned up in the first one!)

It may well be overlong by a good thirty minutes but it is still an incredibly scary, funny ride... just with a denouement that, once again, shows how hard it is to deliver the climactic goods when Stephen King has given you such utter excrement to work with.

23. THE GANGSTER, THE COP, THE DEVIL

I watched this and flat-out loved it - yet another reminder that you can spin the dial and pick a genre, any genre, and the reality is that South Korea are delivering the best efforts in it nowadays. This is a big, broad, bombastic slice of action pulp that has its cake as a thriller/procedural and eats it as a blockbustery burst of car chases and violent dust-ups.

The remake rights for this are with Stallone and that's a scary prospect really coz if there's one thing problematic about that guy is that he's not ~great~ with playing "evenly" (the stories that came off the CREED II production are terrifying!).

22. AT THE HEART OF GOLD

I watched this with my wife and the both of us just kept shooting aghast and pained looks at one another the longer it went on.

Forensic documentary studies like this are a big interest to me but this was a gruelling yet kind of inspiring watch because it did the right thing in putting the victims front and centre from the get go and throughout.

Child abuse is an abhorrent thing. Doubly so on a scale like this. BUT when you're watching the revelations that it was so commonly known to be going on and covered up to the extent and at the level it was? That is just... there's just no words!

Fantastic little documentary though. If you think you know the full facts on this, you don't! And if the last 4 years are any indication, our generation have found our own Errol Morris coz Erin Lee Carr is responsible for 4 of the best documentaries in that time with this, I LOVE YOU NOW DIE, THOUGHT CRIMES and MOMMY DEAD & DEAREST.

21. ABDUCTED IN PLAIN SIGHT

I find that once in a while there's a true crime documentary so flat-out, jaw-droppingly fuckin... out there, that most of its enjoyment isn't in how utterly astounding it is but mostly the fun you have in telling people the details of it and watching them incredulously go "Fuck the fuck off! This didn't happen? Surely not!"

I saw this in early January when no one was talking a single word about it here in the UK and I spent roughly three months banging on and on about it to anyone and everyone and, sure enough, everyone looked at me like I was mad and kept saying "Fuck the fuck off! This isn’t a real thing, surely??” Then it landed on Netflix and… everyone went bonkers!

It is a tight 90 minute uncomfortable, grim, totally incredulous jaw-dropper detailing what are two of the STUPIDEST parents and the most horribly manipulative paedophile you could imagine. You've GOT to check this out because without this documentary no one would EVER believe the story of… ** SPOILERS here on out ** ... the most horribly manipulative paedophile you could imagine, who moves his family into the house next to a husband and wife with three daughters, befriends them, tricks the dad into giving him handjobs, seduces the mum into heavy-petting sessions - all with the intent of lowering their defences so he can get access to their youngest 11 year old daughter... who he abducts, manipulates by pretending to be an alien into believing there's an alien invasion that can only be prevented by her having his baby and sneaks across to Mexico once she's 12 so he can marry her. Then he gets arrested by the FBI, brought back to America, uses his previous intimate dalliances with BOTH parents to blackmail them into dropping the charges, re-seduces the mother into a long-term sexual relationship, reabducts the young daughter, hides her in a boarding school, poses as a CIA agent and...

... and... and... not one single element of this is UNTRUE! What the FUCK, right?!?

20. MIDSOMMAR

There's issues to be had with this in the sense that at two and a half hours it is needlessly self-indulgent and from a storytelling point of view it suffers like many from that flaw of walking in the wake of THE WICKER MAN's story beats without finding much in the way of variation.

However, it is exceptionally well directed and the building of tension and concern (despite knowing exactly where it will inevitably go) is impressive. It basks in its weirdness and then seemingly delights in getting weirder... You can say you've heard this story before but you won't have SEEN it told with imagery quite like this. The whole shebang wouldn't work half as effectively if not for the performances and they really are great here. Florence Pugh is quite exceptional. She joins Toni Collette in what will clearly be Ari Aster's roster of "Tremendous Performances That Deserve Awards But Won't Get Them".

By the film's end you come to realise the film is leaning into THE WICKER MEN comparisons purposefully - to show us what that movie would look like today, in Trump's America: Obnoxious Americans pissing up against and fucking around with longstanding tradition and history.

19. Us

Ignore all of the bullshit 33,000+ deep dive 'think pieces' spewed out across the internet about this and just judge it for what it is: a great horror thrill-ride with some terrific jump scares etc. but it's not without its flaws. For one, it's too strong a film to get landed with that big and lazy an info-dump conclusion... especially one that kind of clunks against what's gone before - but then, as much as we're clearly not meant to call Jordan Peele out on anything it seems, he IS a vastly superior director then he is a writer if this effort is anything to go by.

Was it really, really requiring of those penetrative essays though on what it "really" means or what Peele's hidden intent was? Could it not just be that the guy made a great horror film with all the very clear subtext of a Romero or Carpenter classic, and there's just nothing more to it than that? Because that's how I’m taking it. Because if I don't and I do actually have to wade through all this internet word clunge about how US is "really" about "the effects of classism and marginalisation" or how the antagonists are "effigies of situational classism", I'd write the film off as a failure of achieving its intent.

To dress it up as more than a relentless, scary cat-and-mouse shocker is like trying to put a monocle on a pig and call it a professor.

18. WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOUR

I went into this as a British person completely unfamiliar with Fred Rogers or any of his past work / impact on America and came away completely reverential to the man and what he stood for and achieved across generations. So much so that this documentary completely changed my outlook on a lot of things. It certainly changed the approach I take in how I communicate with my own children now.

It’s a heartwarming, inspirational ode to a clearly great man and I urge everyone to watch it and allow Mr Rogers to give your jaded perspective on life a reinvigorating kick in the butt.

17. APOLLO 11

This really is magnificent. The 70mm archival footage makes the whole thing make it look like you're watching a big studio blockbuster... and not actual real never-before-seen footage from decades ago.

There's moments within this that are just astounding and intoxicating, making you become completely engulfed in something even though you are well versed in what the outcomes are.

16. LONG SHOT

This was the surprise delight of the year. It was very lovely, fun and funny with a great cast being just thoroughly delightful. Charlize Theron is very rarely utilised in comedy (ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Season 3 was so long ago) which is a shame coz she's really gifted, as is proven here - the scene where she does hostage negotiation on molly is one of the funniest scenes of the year!

Seth Rogen makes the sort of stuff that is just game-set-match for my particular sensibilities (40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN to SUPERBAD to KNOCKED UP to PINEAPPLE EXPRESS to OBSERVE & REPORT is in itself an all-timer run that puts him up there with Robin Williams, Eddie Murphy and Albert Brooks) and this is a further reflection of that.

They should never have changed the title to something this generic. And it could comfortably lose 15 minutes here or there. But they're minor niggles for a romcom that we'll still be holding in high regard for years to come. And June Diane Raphael SHOULD get awards for the graft she puts in here. She won’t because films like this never get respect like that, but she totally should.

15. JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM

I flat out loved this (though I still maintain that I don’t even think the star and the director themselves have referred to the film by its 'full name') and I would be more than happy to see an entry to this franchise every two years if they're of this calibre.

CHAPTER 2 had me worried because it looked like there was a limit to just how much 'throwing people down to the ground and shooting them in the head with CGI gunfire and blood added in on top' you could push into a film before it felt tiresome but this completely circumnavigates all worry around that by dialling up the 'quirk' factor which has always been this franchise's most bizarro and interesting element.

And the introduction of Halle Berry to 'the floor' led to a stand-out set-piece that was nothing short of astounding!

I WOULD however have preferred it if this film had adopted a bit of the ol' VH1 Pop-Up Video Show (remember THAT??) approach and just stuck a bubble up during the motorbike sequence that said "We stole this wholesale from THE VILLAINESS because we know it’s unlikely you saw that movie!")

14. READY OR NOT

I offer up the heartiest of recommendations for this - an absolutely first class horror comedy that finds a delightfully irreverent spin on the cat-and-mouse / slasher movie. It really is the ‘little movie that could’ of 2019 that offers up way, way, way more than its marketing and log-line suggest. It’s very funny and has some truly effective jump-scares and, best of all, it has a great ensemble cast doing great work. Double-bill it with KNIVES OUT and thank me later!

13. ARCTIC

This really worked as an effective, throw-you-into-the-mix survival thriller. Mads Mikkelsen is terrific and he really sells the hell out of it.

You don't know just how successfully it has burrowed under your skin and pulled you along on the ride until the final five minutes when you're screaming "NO!" at the screen.

12. AD ASTRA

I still can’t believe this flopped. I genuinely can’t. It's fair to say it doesn't quite stick its landing in making the end of the journey as narratively thrilling as what it took to get there but it doesn't matter - the journey itself is a sumptuous, thrilling and truly exquisite ride taking an easy "APOCALYPSE NOW in space" label and delivering something so, so much more.

For anyone who grew up with any "sins of the father" issues this will act as a ten ton weight dropped onto their chest.

... It also has space pirates and space monkeys!

11. MARRIAGE STORY

The plaudits are all well-earned and I’m saying this as someone who's connected with very little of Baumbach's work other than THE SQUID & THE WHALE.

It's a genuinely enthralling watch due to a fantastic group of actors being set loose to do tremendous work; Adam Driver is superb and Scarlett Johansson raises her game considerably to go toe-to-toe with him but Laura Dern, Ray Liotta and Alan Alda deliver a trio of masterclasses under one roof.

(If there's ANY justice whatsoever in awards season Alda will split everything Best Supporting Actor related with Joe Pesci… He won’t, because there is no justice when it comes to the vast majority of awards season but that is not to say he doesn’t deserve it!)

This is a delicately crafted piece - where your favoured side in a fight you feel you really shouldn't be privy to, is expertly switched around - that comes from a very obvious place of truth.

10. STAND-OFF AT SPARROW CREEK

I really, really liked this. I can see it's a film I'll go back to quite a few times over the years and see if I can spot the 'turn' because, first time round if I’m honest, I very much did not see the reveal coming.

It's a great little film. The performances are terrific (James Badge Dale is the best actor of our generation, frankly) and Henry Dunham has delivered a hell of an interesting film - all long shots into dark corners of a big dank space, scenes shot with natural torchlight and headlight beams. It's never not interesting to look at.

It's essentially RESERVOIR DOGS re-spun so the diamonds are replaced with missing fire arms and the back alley warehouse in LA is replaced with a militia compound in backwoods America.

9. KNIVES OUT

I found this to be a tremendous amount of fun; the somewhat obvious result that is birthed from a great writer/director putting a terrific script in front of an exceptional cast, designing a fabulous set for them to let loose inside of and then stepping out of their way for quality to reign.

There's a barely tolerable Edgar Wright version of this where the filmmaking is of course "the star", the editing is distracting and the music is purposefully kitschy.

This very much isn't that.

It's decidedly UNshowy and by being so comfortable in its own skin, emulating a classic style of storytelling not so much told anymore, it really stands out as an excellent piece of original cinema.

8. DOLEMITE IS MY NAME

I urge you all to completely buy the hype: DOLEMITE IS MY NAME is every bit as fantastic as everyone is saying and Eddie Murphy is like awards-worthy great in it.

You don't have to have seen DOLEMITE to have fun with this but having done so certainly accentuates it.

It's very funny, surprisingly moving and is a genuinely great ode to the importance of following your passions and not letting anyone stifle your creative aspirations... Hell, if this thing existed 25 years ago I myself would be as prolific as Lee fuckin Childs by now.

Da'Vine Joy Randolph gives THE best supporting actress performance of the year. From straight-up out of nowhere.

Genuinely can't wait to watch this a few more times down the road.

7. AVENGERS: ENDGAME

I think there's two ways of looking at AVENGERS: ENDGAME - as a film in its own right with an atypical start, middle, end, etc. AND as a piece of cinematic event-level entertainment.

In the case of the former, it is pretty damn great though not entirely without its flaws:

Give the narrative set up and logical lay out a single seconds thought and this entire thing crumbles to the ground. On top of that, it takes a while to bed down and get going and its tonal scattershot approach across the first forty-odd minutes is a little jarring. Quite literally you're coming out of that first hour with your head-spinning from laughing and then getting whipped into sombre, dour moments... slapped with narrative leaps and 'we're putting the team back together' beats.

Then the 'points of purpose' settle in and quite frankly we're off to the fucking races, man. Captain Marvel is a repeated, annoying goddamn useless 'deus ex machina' and the entire use of Paltrow/'Rescue' is just irritating. BUT everything 45+ minutes is so, so, so, so flipping ACE that shit like that can't even destabilise it.

There's critics out there deriding this as 'Fan Service: The Movie' and, you know what, damn fucking straight it is and there's nothing wrong with that.

(Although it could be argued that a clunky 'let's put all the women together in one shot' moment that lands with a thud is 'fan service' taken too far and not pitched within proceedings well enough for it to be anything other than cloying.)

The entire middle hour of these three hours is a play within a play; only the play its playing in just happens to be TWENTY-TWO OTHER MOVIES!

They could have phoned this in haaaaaard by this point and it is so, so, so commendable that they didn't. Hell, a lot of the films problems lie in the fact that they tried as hard as they did to really do doing something you wouldn't be expecting with this!

As an 'event', there will never be anything like this again in my lifetime, I don’t think. I knew this walking out of it. There'll be more JUSTICE LEAGUE type failed rip-offs. Marvel themselves will try and replicate it with the law of diminishing returns playing into effect. But there will NEVER be something so accomplished from something so long-form on such a grand stage as this again as far as I’m concerned.

6. CRAWL

I’ve went back for multiple viewings of this and absolutely LOVED it even more each time.

It's a lean, bullet-fast, brutal B-movie creature feature that does not fuck around: There is a complete lack of JAWS like foreboding, skulking around... This is straight-up, in your face, nasty, fast carnage. Anyone going in expecting a knowing, winking PIRANHA 3D / SNAKES ON A PLANE type deal is in for a hard slap.

It's pitch perfect entertainment in the sense that it grabs you and then just keeps turning the screws ("Oh, she's battling an alligator in a flooded crawlspace!" "Aww, man! It's a full on storm and there's TWO alligators now!" "Holy Fuckballs - There's MANY alligators and a hurricane now??").

The last 25 minutes alone are an all-out, relentless assault upon your ability to breathe steadily.

This is the best B-movie of 2019!

5. DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE

My wife and I are big fans of S. Craig Zahler's BONE TOMAHAWK and BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99 (two of the best films of the last decade) even though it's becoming more and more apparent he's quite far from our own political stance.

This, Zahler's latest effort, drops the latent suggestion and presents its right-wing, racist immoral world view with no restraint or apology. And regardless of your political stance, if you're there for the story and the filmmaking craftsmanship you'll find this to be tremendous stuff.

It's like a cut-price, gutter level version of Michael Mann's HEAT; a tale of cop and criminal convergence, told at a thoroughly unhurried and unconcerned pace... Only Zahler would think to interrupt his narrative to propose a short story within the story (about a mother returning from maternity leave) that's only there so that he can hurt you with it.

Mel Gibson's presence here laid up against the subject matter is the very definition of provocative and contentious but there's no getting around the fact that he is as tremendous an actor as he is an awful, awful human being. And by all counts he's REALLY very awful.

Gibson is every shade of ace in this and he's ably supported by Vaughn, who's rightly leaning away from the comedic persona he's broken too badly.

This is a languid, unapologetically nasty film but it's also an excellent one. It's so not for everyone but if you've liked BONE TOMAHAWK and BRAWL IN CELL BLOCK 99 then this is a must. In fact, it's both easily Zahler's best film and one of the best films of the year.

4. MISSING LINK

I think this really is an absolute jewel and I can't understand why more folk aren't screaming about it. It's very funny and visually wondrousness (that boat-in-the-storm INCEPTION homage action sequence is fabulous). The magnitude of talent that would have gone into making this via stop motion... knowing that it takes one week to complete one to two minutes of useable footage!

The creases in the texture of each characters clothing as they move too? WOW! I’ve always adored Laika's output but this was the first for me where the sheer care and attention to detail really shone!

For one, it's easily one of the funniest movies of the year. For another, it looks totally gorgeous. And best of all, it gives kids their very own GUNGA DIN / RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK cinematic adventure type experience.

3. FORD VS. FERRARI (aka LE MANS ’66)

I’m so glad in the same very year where ‘Film Twitter’ nearly blew itself up over the ‘Marvel / Tentpole Cinema / Scorsese / No original studio films anymore’ debate, I got to experience something as majestic and very nearly perfect as FORD VS FERRARI (aka LE MANS '66).

It's got such a tremendous old fashioned style to it that I hope they do what they did with LOGAN and give us a black and white edition and we have 60s era style movie credits to open and close it. It's that kind of movie.

Yet at the same time it manages to display all the high end technical filmmaking majesty backed up by wall-to-wall terrific performances (only Josh Lucas lets the side down with his inability to deliver anything above unsubtle, cartoonish panto villainy).

It's a gorgeous, kinetic, enthralling and by the end a surprisingly tender and moving piece of cinema. I completely adored it.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME IN… HOLLYWOOD

I fell in love hard with Tarantino's ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD straight-out-the-gate and fell harder with repeated viewings. It's a beautifully shambolic, meandering 'day in the life' sort of deal that plays out as a dry, knowing comedy with a sideline in impending, escalating dread... before becoming, well, something else entirely that's so shocking and out of left field that it feels so courageous because of how swiftly it will divide a viewer.

What's so monumentally lush about it is that it is made by a cinematic craftsman who is essentially writing a love letter to everything he adores/adored about a very specific time in a very specific place within the industry that made him. It is framed, lit and shot with aplomb but on top of that every single thing inside of the frame is chockfull of things that are background noise to somebody and yet incredibly meaningful, funny and knowing to true TV and cinema fans.

If there's any complaint to be made about this movie it's that Tarantino's continued insistence on shoe-horning Zoe Bell into his films is absolutely hurting his product: The woman can't act, can't judge the tone of a scene, is flat-out incapable of putting in a performance consistent with what is going on around with other actors and she is routinely a very hard, very annoying distraction that draws you straight out of the film.

You could argue that it is a listless movie because, in the conventional sense people expect of a narrative, does anything truly happen in the atypical Act 1, Act 2 and Act 3 type of way. But I'd counter-argue that all the enjoyment is in just spending time watching these characters move around and interact with one another.

Knowing the history of Sharon Tate and what happened to her at the hands of The Manson Family fills the entire proceedings with a sense of nausea-inducing nervousness about what we're going to see and to what degree. It's like a pressure valve sat in the background, slowly filling and expanding and just waiting to explode. That it eventually does but in the manner it does, is... well it's audacious... and yet questionable... and still entertaining as hell.

1. THE IRISHMAN

Without a hint of exaggeration, at least once a day every day since I first saw this film I’ve found myself thinking back to both DeNiro's "phone call" scene of which no words would convey its brilliance and Pacino's final scene and the sound he makes in it. The former is genuinely just one of the most haunting, astoundingly natural pieces of acting you'll see from a truly great actor you'd kind of forgot was capable of going to places like this.

This really is a straight-out-the-gate, instant, flawless, completely majestic work of art. It is a master craftsman signing off on a genre he revolutionised in much the same way Clint Eastwood closed down his connection to the western with UNFORGIVEN.

It is three and a half hours long and it doesn't feel remotely close to that... and that's saying something considering most of the film's real awesomeness lies in scenes that are allowed to breathe and just sit or in points being driven home through the repetition in the mundanity of these characters' lives. Because that's the other thing that's really terrific about it - it's not a re-tread of GOODFELLAS or CASINO; there's nothing remotely glamorous about this 'life' - Scorsese presents it as this 'working class stiff' gig where being the right-hand man to some of the most powerful crime figures and industry heads of the 50s, 60s, 70s, etc is really not all that higher up past being a truck driver in the same era.

The much-talked about de-ageing stuff on the actors is a little jarring at first (the first scene of DeNiro in his late 20s or something makes you squelch in your seat a little and think "Fuck, this is going to be bad isn't it?") but it settles in and gets much better as the timelines between character and actor shorten - the work on Pacino in particular is first rate.

The performances are across the board superb - DeNiro and Pacino in particular are so bloody brilliant here that it wakes you up to how fallow and shit they've been for so long. But really, this is Pesci's movie. He gives what is the performance of the year by turning in a really human, considered turn... and in the process circumnavigating the expectations that comes from having this particular actor in this particular genre with this particular director.

Not enough reviews talk about how extremely fuckin funny the movie is - and it is very laugh out loud funny with some of the lines and interactions (Pacino and Stephen Graham together are hilarious!) - and no words accurately describe how truly sad and surprisingly moving it is in the final stretch.

... I don't believe a single word of the source material it’s based on but it's resolutely not important to have to buy into the ('fake'?) memoir in order to appreciate the film adaptation as this massive, majestic piece of cinematic myth making - one that I genuinely can't wait to see again many times over the years!

[chickadee333]

Impossible Love Masterlist

Without further ado, here is my finalized Masterlist for my novel Impossible Love. At over 85,000 words, you guys are serious readers to put up with this!

(Update: You can also find my fic on AO3 at this link. It’s easier to read there.)

As always, my intention is to write a good, well thought-out story with some sexy, smutty stuff thrown in, and I hope you enjoy it! I like to create some angst-y situations and just have things build up from there. A little sexual tension is fun, right?!? Just another fair warning: This novel contains adult content. Most of my chapters have extremely graphic depictions of sex and violence and, on one occasion, both of them together. But this is ultimately a love story, so I definitely hope you stick around for the ending.

Impossible Love: A Novel by Chickadee333 (aka D):

Chapter 1: A New Beginning

Chapter 2: A Troubled Past

Chapter 3: An Unspoken Lust

Chapter 4: A Forbidden Desire

Chapter 5: A Heartbreaking Discovery

Chapter 6: A Manipulated Promise

Chapter 7: A Welcome Freedom

Chapter 8: A Certain Homecoming

Chapter 9: An Uncertain Decision

Chapter 10: A Hostile Takeover

Chapter 11: An Indelible Mark

Chapter 12: A Time Together

Chapter 13: An Agonizing Choice

Chapter 14: A Forced Confession

Chapter 15: A Tormented Mind

Chapter 16: A Yearning Heart

Chapter 17: An Unspeakable Betrayal

Chapter 18: A New Normal

Chapter 19: A Terrifying Strength

Chapter 20: A Contrived Existence

Chapter 21: A Tragic Revelation

Chapter 22: An Imminent Return

Chapter 23: A Forever Future

(They really sound like romance novel titles, don’t they? I kinda did that on purpose since this is truly a love story...)

If you are interested in reading about my motivation and inspiration, please see my Author’s Note below!

I just wanted to give you a little background about my writing and my inspiration. Actually, my inspiration is all of you incredible people. If there were a Tumblrs Anonymous meeting, I’d be the one raising my hand saying, “Hi everyone, I’m a long-time lurker, first-time poster...” My fangirl head just explodes reading all of the crazy, sexy shit you post. And then the art that is on here! You guys are so fucking talented. My stuff is rubbish in comparison and I only hope that someday I can produce amazing art like all of you do. It is truly an inspiration. In fact, seeing the art on here is what prompted me to purchase my Wacom tablet in February. I eventually plan to have at least one drawing composed for each chapter, though that will take some time.

When I was a teenager, I voraciously read comic books (mostly X-Men) and fell in love with that world of characters and their struggles. I learned to draw by teaching myself forms, figures, shapes, and shadows as I saw them in the comics. I had always wanted to write and draw for comics, but that was a pipe dream and I instead went to college and grad school for something far, far different (science). So, this is my chance to fulfill my fantasy of writing and drawing as I always wanted. You have no idea (or maybe you do, actually) how satisfying it is to finally get this stuff out of my head and into print. When I was a teenager, my angst-ridden, sex-starved mind always wished that the comic books could have been a little X-rated—replete with sexy artwork, too. But it never happened and never would happen in mainstream comics, which is why I finally felt the need to let all of these words pour out along with the artwork to accompany them. It was almost like I was waiting for something like Suicide Squad to come by so I could latch onto it and create my ancillary, alternate universe.

I first saw Suicide Squad at the end of December and I was struck by the fact that there was so much opportunity to create a really interesting story that could never be shown in a PG13 movie (too sexy, too smutty). I spent the first three weeks of January letting the movie marinate in my mind while thinking about the characters and making up little fantasies in my head. Then I saw a note that I had left for myself one year earlier encouraging me to “write more”—which was especially jarring considering that I wasn’t writing at all. So, I decided that I would take the opportunity and start writing down my fantasies. It started with Chapter 1 and how I had wished Joker had broken out of prison in the movie. Instead of torturing Harleen, he would succumb to his pent-up desires and have sex with her. I thought it would end there but it just took off. I wrote 30,000 words in literally two weeks, and I’m continuing to write and ride this out as long as I can sustain it. I have my entire story fleshed out and outlined and I expect to have a total of 14 or possibly 15 chapters when it is concluded. Update: A little over 10 weeks later and I have finished 23(!!!) chapters at 85,000+ words, thus concluding my novel. I’m a little sad that it’s over and I definitely don’t want to stop writing, but I think I’ll focus on my drawings for now. But who knows... I have set up my story for a potentially interesting prequel (Joker’s backstory), so maybe I will eventually work on that... 2nd Update: I will be writing a sequel, not a prequel, and I expect it to be the same length (a long-ass novel, LOL).

I will admit that I am not an expert on the Joker and Harley. I have seen the Suicide Squad movie, but I have not read the novelized version of it and I do not plan to. I know the names of some characters (like Frost) from having seen them float around, but I have been making up my own characters to fit my own story. In fact, other than Joker, Harleen, and Frost, most of my characters are original to a degree. When I write, I like to envision my characters played by an actor/actress so I can describe them better and I will eventually share with you my “cast of characters” for this novel (I actually have it posted already in the end notes on my AO3 page). I also have a running soundtrack in my head as if the story were a movie, and I’ll share that with you all as well (also found at that link).

As for Joker and Harley, I know some basics about them from the movies, some comics, the animated series from the 90s, and things that I’m seeing you guys post here on Tumblr. However, I have never been happy with how the comics/tv shows/movies have portrayed characters like the Joker. It always feels like these kinds of characters are too often portrayed as two-dimensional as their image is on the page. Where is the range of emotion? Where is the depth? I love a crazy, insane character, but they are not compelling to me when there is only crazy and nothing else. Why are they crazy? What is their back story? What drives them? What are their motives? What made them who they are? Is there any piece of humanity within them that can be salvaged? That was one thing that I think they got right with Suicide Squad—Leto’s Joker was portrayed as not only an insane, trigger happy loose cannon, but also suffering emotionally in Harley’s absence. I like kick-ass characters that show vulnerability. It is fucking sexy. I think it is important to add those extra layers of personality in order to make the character feel more real.

As for my portrayal of Joker, I intended to show his emotional and vulnerable side. You know he has one. He is still a flesh and blood person, after all. And he was a real person before becoming the “idea” of the Joker. In my world, he had a normal family life as a child (until his family died in an accident), he went to school, he got some degrees, he used his genius brain to start a business, he had a fiancée and a baby on the way. But shit happened and he is now the way he is. He has anger management issues. He is violent. He is fucked up. And he accepts that. Having said that, however, I was never a fan of Harley Quinn obsequiously fawning over the Joker no matter what abuse he put her through. I do not condone domestic violence and it makes me feel pity for her when I think of her returning to her abuser. In stories where she is portrayed that way, I just want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her that she deserves better than that! I know I would not stay with my abuser—no matter how great the sex was. In real life, I work in a social services field where I have managed cases in which my clients have suffered for too long at the hands of their abusive spouse or partner. That is a fucking difficult thing to be confronted with. It is not sexy; it is heartbreaking. And I find that these real life experiences inform the way that I write. For that reason, I am writing my Harleen as a strong, empowered, independent woman. My Joker, while still the insane, trigger happy loose cannon, is written to show facets of vulnerability and emotion. I think that makes him more attractive to know that he is more than just “crazy” and abusive. I like to show that he has desires, dreams, and urges. I think that kind of depth and dimension can sometimes be missing from the comic books—not always, but sometimes.

I do want to say that there are some brilliant fanfics out there that follow comic book canon with the abusive Joker and the submissive Harley. They really hold true to the characters, and that is an incredible feat within itself—to take a character, to know their personality, and to write a story that is true to how they would act. It’s very impressive. I might finish reading with a feeling of “God damn, Harley, you gotta stop letting Joker walk all over you!” And, to me, that means that the writer was successful because they elicited a true emotion within me—whether it is pity or anger or happiness or angst. So, this is not a put-down for those who do write true to the characters. I have mad respect for you. It’s not my bag, baby, but I will read it and enjoy it and I will walk away having felt something and that is the most important thing. Art in any form should make you feel. It should make you react. It should shock your sensibilities. It should inspire. It should make you think. And that is what I hope my art—both my writing and my drawings—do for all of you.

Sorry to have blathered on for so long, but thank you for reading if you made it this far! Your likes, comments, reblogs, and messages bring a huge smile to my face when I see them. It’s like opening a present when I check my Tumblr activity and see that someone has reached out to me. And please feel free to reach out to me with any comments or questions about anything!!!

So, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I’m so glad that you enjoy my crazy fantasies as much as I like writing and drawing them!

XOXO,

D