#shes at 39 subs lets make that higher
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cursedalthoughts · 6 months ago
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Priority Research 7 Predictions - Iris Orthodoxy
Ah, the Iris. At the time of writing this post, we don't quite know if they're the CN 7th Anniversary faction or not, meaning they could be getting a gacha UR.
In this list I will also mention some possible DRs of them. Because I think they deserve more than what they already have - no offense to Brest enjoyers, she's very cool.
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Colbert
Let's make one thing very clear:
Colbert was built in Brest in the 1960s, and served until 1972 as a light cruiser. Colbert did exist in real life, which would disqualify her from being a PR; however, she served at the beginning of the Cold War period, meaning I do not care.
Colbert was designed as an AA cruiser, the last of the ships France would classify as "cruisers" before adopting the term "frigate" for them.
She has a total of 16 low calliber 127mm guns in 8 turrets, guns which have a sub-4s reload time and have a considerable fire starting chance of 7%. Might not seem like much, but when you're getting bombarded with around 270 of these shells per minute, that quickly adds up.
Colbert could make for a very fun little DR light cruiser, even if realistically she will never be a PR.
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Bourgogne
Talking about DRs, Bourgogne is a classic.
Being a sidegrade to Alsace at one tier higher (Tier 10), Bourgogne is an excellent pesky battleship. As usual with French battleships, she gets an engine boost; and if Alsace is anything to go by (I don't have Bourgogne lmao), she can easily reach 39 knots.
Her 12 380mm guns have a reload of 28s, to compensate for their low calliber at such a high tier; on top of having each a 36% fire starting chance. She's not quite HMS Conqueror or HMS St. Vincent levels of cringe, but she can be an HE spammer with no problems.
And if an enemy ship gives you a tempting broadside, her AP is not disappointing. Despite the low calliber, French shells are fast and hit hard.
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Picardie
I sincerely hope we do not get Picardie in Azur Lane. She's utterly disappointing.
Picardie is a Tier 8 retrofit of Lyon, which swaps her perfectly fine and usable 340mm guns with pathetically weak 305mm guns. They have awful HE and AP penetrations, and not even her reload boost can save her.
However... Azur Lane has a track record of turning disappointing WoWs ships into fascinating PR shipgirls, so there's some hope.
PR rarity, of course. Just look at her bruh
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Carnot
Certainly one of the ships of all time. Carnot is a supecruiser, much like Brest; but she's considerably different in terms of design. She has, for starters, ten 305mm guns; which is the most any supercruiser her tier has - Alaska, Ägir, Kronshtadt have 9, Siegfried has 6 (albeit 380mm), and Brest has 8. Her reload is subpar, however; at 22 seconds.
Her speed is very good, as it's mandatory of all French ships. Her armor is way too big to be good, as her deck sits high above the waterline, giving her plenty of large, flat, mediocre armor. Easy to penetrate with sufficiently large guns.
She works well as a PR, although I can see her being a DR as well.
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Henri IV
Henri IV is the primordial French supercruiser. She's technically still just a heavy cruiser, armed with 240mm guns.
Once the queen of speed, Henri was nerfed to the ground a few years ago. Now, her acceleration speed is horrible, and her turning radius and rudder shift have also been nerfed, making her considerably less maneuverable.
Still, Henri IV could be an interesting older sister to Saint Louis; maybe even a DR.
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Condé
While I'm not sure about Henri IV's rarity, I am certain Condé would be DR.
Condé is a bigger, better Henri IV, with quadruple 240mm gun turrets and access to a speed boost, a gun reload boost, and a burst fire mode which allows her to fire her guns every 1.5s for 2 salvos.
Condé is very good with what's known as a lighthouse build, which consists of making her as visible as possible.
The problem with Condé is the same as Yamagiri from the Sakura Empire prediction post - she's a Tier 11, and we have not gotten any Tier 11 yet. However, Condé is one of the most well known and beloved/hated Tier 11 ships, meaning she's way more popular.
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hopefulatrocity · 2 years ago
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From The Ashes: Chapter 1
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If you would like to be added to a taglist for this story, please let me know!
Note: This is a short part. The next one is finished(just needs editing) and much longer, I swear. I just wanted to give a bit of context for how Pheonyx ends up at the farm. Also, wanted to introduce my last minute addition of Kismet! If you’ve ever had a hound or a pitbull, he is the epitome of both. Absolute goofball but serious when it comes to tasks. Pheonyx isn’t good with people(you’ll find out exactly why later) but he spent a lot of his childhood helping Hershel with his patients. So, I felt it would be remiss if he didn’t have a pet of some kind. Do not worry, I may not have the whole story written but THE DOG DOES NOT DIE. Animal deaths referred to in the TW are for hunting and the three feral dogs that attack them before Alexandria. 
Series Trigger/content warning: Homophobia/transphobia/biphobia, zenophobia/racism/sexism(Merle), age gap romance(11yr difference. Pheonyx is 28, Daryl is 39 ), sexual assault/rape, child molestation, canon character deaths, body mutilation, child abuse, torture, hunting, smut 18+( P in V, unprotected sex(please practice safe sex!), creampie, breeding kink, rough sex, marking/biting, oral sex, sub/dom undertones), animal deaths, scars, blood, corpses, depression/anxiety, body dysphoria, religious trauma, menstruation mentions
Chapter Content Warnings: Angst, scars mention, slight transphobia from parents, top surgery, dysphoria 
Prologue Part 2
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*2 weeks before Outbreak Day*
   It was shortly after 8pm when Pheonyx finally opened the door to his tiny apartment. Normally, he would be home before five but he wanted to make sure everything was squared away at the shop before he left for Atlanta the following morning. 2 years of planning was finally coming to fruition.
   In less than 72 hours, he would be getting the lumps of fat removed from his chest. No more binders. No more top dysphoria. He could finally feel at home in his skin. The tattoos covering his skin had been the first part of that. Covering the scars that were constant reminders of devils in his past. The surgery would be the last part. Pheonyx was grateful, to whatever higher power there was, that he only had top dysphoria. Sure, he’d love to have been born with the parts that would allow him to be considered “biologically” male. It would have saved a lot of pain and heartache from his childhood. Over time, though, he had grown comfortable with what he had going on below the belt. Which is also why he chose not to take hormones. Every trans person’s transition was different, and this was the path he found happiness in.
   Pheonyx sighed, tiredly, and dropped his backpack next to his packed suitcase and acoustic guitar case. Too tired to be bothered with packing, he was grateful that he had the mind to pack it the night before. He could hear his neighbors arguing upstairs and the sounds of sirens pierced through the shut windows. Despite the noise, his apartment felt too quiet. The missing sound of happy whimpers and nails clicking on dirty tile wore at his heart. Pulling out his cheap flip phone, he dialed his sister’s number. As usual, she didn’t pick up the first time he called. He shut the phone and waited. 5…4…3…2…1… The phone buzzed in his hand. Maggie was quite predictable sometimes. He flopped down on the couch and pressed the green button.
   “How is my boy?”, Pheonyx asked.
   There was a melodic chuckle on the other end, followed by his sister’s strong southern accent. “Well hello, Nyx. Good to hear from you. The farm is good. My classes are goin’ well-”
   “Maggs, I love you but my boy spent hours on a plane today. He might have been doped up on Benadryl-laced cheese but I need to know he’s not traumatized. I feel guilty that I couldn't get him room on the same flight as me. Stupid breed laws, I had to go through a third party airline.”
   A door shut in the background, one Pheonyx knew from memory. He could just imagine Maggie shutting the old screen door on the white farmhouse and heading out onto the porch. “Kismet is fine. He’s already peed on every tree in the first acre. And has already tried to break into the chicken coop twice. Literally scared an egg right outta Hillary Fluff.”
   A deep laugh rumbled through his chest. He could already see his goofy, bluetick coonhound/pitbull running around the fields and causing havoc. His mutt had the stocky body of a pitbull, all muscle and brick head, but the speckled color of a bluetick coonhound. The dog was crazy. The smarts of a hound with the spastic energy of a pitbull. He was a happy-go-lucky dog and the light of Pheonyx’s lonely life.  A shade different from when he had found him as a skinny puppy behind the tattoo shop. The poor thing was skin and bones, covered in scars. The pain in Kismet’s eyes was one that Pheonyx saw in the mirror everyday. He found kinship in the bundle of fur. And from that day forward, they were glued to each other.
   Maggie continued, “He’s asleep in the living room right now. You might have to fight Daddy for custody when you head back home next month, though. Gave him the full vet treatment. Shots, nail trim, ear cleanin'. They fell asleep on the couch together, and he’s been spoilin’ him all day. ”
   Pheonyx slightly tensed at the mention of his stepfather. “Speaking of Hershel, how are he and mom doing about the whole surgery thing? I know they’re the ones who offered for me to stay but I still remember the first time I mentioned it. Mom just cried for the whole call. And Hershel just kinda exploded.”
   There was a pause before his sister responded. “They’re set in their ways, Nyx. Both are of the mind that God makes no mistakes. That by changin’ your body, you’re throwin’ insult to the Lord. But they love you. I’ve been showin’ them those studies and articles you send me. That seems to help with the misgenderin’ and deadnamin’. Haven’t heard them do either in almost a year. They would prefer you not have surgery, but they want you to be happy. It took them a while to get used to your tattoos too. Once it’s over with, I feel like things will get better.”
   Even though she couldn’t see him, Pheonyx nodded, “Yeah. I think so too. For me too. I’m just- Maggie, I’m just so happy this is happening. It feels like everything that has happened has been leading me to now. I don’t know if I would have the courage to do this, if I had stayed in Georgia. Don’t get me wrong, I miss you guys. But I couldn’t heal there. Here, I have friends.”, he heard his sister sniffle on the other line and tried to break the tension, “Hell, I can have hookups without worrying about Hershel or Beth freaking out about premarital sex.”
   The joke hit home and Maggie chuckled, “Speakin’ of hookups, you got anyone special in your life currently? And I might not be able to see you but I know you’re rollin’ your eyes at me, mister. I’m knee-deep in my senior thesis. I need to live vicariously through your love life.”
   True to her words, he rolled his eyes and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of him, “No. Just a couple shitty hookups. I went to a street fair with my boss, Zane, last weekend. Saw one of those psychics there. Really cliche with the purple headwrap and crystal ball. The whole nine yards. Told me that my soulmate would make an appearance soon. I asked for a description and she vaguely said he would be ‘a dark, gruff man with a streak of blue that carries a bow’. Also, said something about us having the same marks but I’m not sure what she meant by that. So, if you know any dark, mysterious archers. Let me know.” He laughed, not knowing that an emotionally-stunted, bowman–with eyes of Georgia blue and matching scars–was closer than he would have expected.  
Prologue Part 2
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pharos-ryoji · 3 years ago
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Heyo if you enjoy Achievement Hunter or watching Jeremy's streams, go subscribe to KDoolz on YouTube!!! Kats been streaming a lot lately (both with Jeremy and solo) and she's so wonderful and great to watch!! The YouTube channel is currently her Skyrim playthrough, and she does a lot of fun streams on Twitch too - I love watching her pov for Among Us and other killing games, she's somehow always evil. Anyways she's great and just launched her YouTube so let's show her some support 💕
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chibimyumi · 4 years ago
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Dear Chibimyumi, this is a rather odd question but do you think O!Ciel sometimes forgets he's a child? Because he says he wants to be seen as an adult...but I don't know if people actually see him as an adult or just a child who is mature for his age. I apologize for not explaining this well..
Dear Anon,
The Victorian Era was obsessed with manhood and unkind to all who weren’t “proper men”. That society would not miss out on any chance to remind O!Ciel of his “““sub-man””” status, let alone allow him a second to forget it.
It is not for nothing that he wears high heels in a vain attempt to be taken seriously. Even in 2020 men would receive much ridicule for wearing ‘women’s shoes (even though high heels were invented by men FOR men), let alone in the 1880s. But to O!Ciel, I think he rather be judged for ‘effeminate fashion senses’ than to be seen as a little child.
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It is only those who feel like they have something to prove (whether it is justified or not is another story) who would be so aggressive about this ‘thing’ they wish to prove. Think of macho masculinity for example... truly confident men have no need to puff up. In Grell’s case, because people don’t believe that she’s a woman she feels like she has ‘something to prove’. So, to ““compensate”” for her male-coded body she therefore aggressively uses hyper feminine speech.
In O!Ciel’s case of course, he is for all intents and purposes a child, and therefore he does actually have something to prove. Whenever he says he is ‘not a child’, all people might do for him is shut up to prevent further provocation. And O!Ciel must know very well that people only spare him further comments because of his exceptionally noble status. He must know all the better that if he really were and adult, he’d never have to wear heels. (I count myself lucky that he never attempted wearing a fake mustache.)
Throughout the manga O!Ciel consistently does not get taken seriously because of 1. literally being a child, and 2. looking even younger than he factually is.  Even though status wise he ranks much higher than Sir Randall, the latter still refers to him as a ‘cunning brat’, with much emphasis on the ‘brat’ part. Even O!Ciel’s allies refer to him as a child, with notable examples being Sebastian and Lau.
Sebastian and Lau know very well that calling the Earl a ‘child’ or a ‘brat’ stings the most, because O!Ciel couldn’t even defend himself without spouting an objective lie. In chapter 39 for example, Lau introduced O!Ciel to a stranger as ‘little child’, and though O!Ciel refutes the ‘little’, he did not deny the ‘child’ part.
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The most beautiful ‘backup’ Sebas and Lau have is ‘The One and Only Royal Majesty the Queen Almighty’ herself. Every time the Queen addresses O!Ciel she calls him ‘cute boy’. (可愛い坊や・Kawaii Bouya). This ‘bouya’ in Japanese is used solely for VERY young boys; boys a bit older (12+) are usually referred to as ‘shounen’ (young man). The fact that even his boss calls O!Ciel ‘boy’ means that there’s only so much he can do to tell people they’re wrong. If he went too aggressive about it, he would be implying that the Queen is ‘wrong’ too, after all. And he can’t criticise the Queen!!!
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Duty vs Right
So, does O!Ciel sometimes forget he is a child?
I think a very important thing about O!Ciel is that he is hyper focused on his duty to the Queen and to his own revenge. I think he probably does realise that his duty is not something that would be fair to make any other child bear, but at the same time he also cannot convince himself to ‘indulge’ in his right as a child to live at peace. Not to mention, Sebas won’t allow him.
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In the Circus Arc O!Ciel wasn’t even allowed a small break to recover from his triggered trauma. He moped for probably not even a few minutes and Sebas already tried to shame his master for being triggered and ‘threaten him out of trauma’ again. Trash Demon™ really takes fighting fire with fire quite literally.
Though Sebas is unforgivably abusive towards O!Ciel, he is also walking evidence for the boy that he is very worthy of respect. As explained extensively in this analysis, Sebas does not see his master any differently from older humans. Sebas judges somebody by their actions, not their identity. Though it had been a long road towards achieving mutual respect, O!Ciel did learn that the respect his butler has for him is truly earned.
O!Ciel is a strategist; his ability to play the cards he has been dealt is amazing. It is likewise because he knows he is a child, that he can use this card also in his favour when need be.
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Conclusion
I think O!Ciel knows painfully well that he is a child and the social implications that come with it. He just doesn’t know what being a child is supposed to mean for him personally. Should he live his right as a child but be considered “sub-man”, or should he “grow up” to prove his worth? All in all it is not so weird, because in crisis some children are forced to mentally ‘grow up’ as a survival mechanism. These children never forget they are children; they might just not know what ‘normalcy’ is for a child. It would be reasonable to say this is exactly what happened to O!Ciel.
When he says “I am not a child” he does not mean “I am not underage”. I think he means: “take me as seriously as you would an adult.” As discussed before in this post, a strong thematic of this series is “you are who you prove yourself to be”. He knows he is more than what people give children credit for, and he wants that to be acknowledged.
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Our Ciel is SUCH a well written character, I love him with all my heart.
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gavilansblog · 3 years ago
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I posted 4,871 times in 2021
11 posts created (0%)
4860 posts reblogged (100%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 441.8 posts.
I added 145 tags in 2021
#tfatws - 24 posts
#tfatws spoilers - 21 posts
#the witcher - 20 posts
#leverage - 18 posts
#my crafts - 13 posts
#eskel - 12 posts
#witcher - 10 posts
#see an eskel share an eskel - 9 posts
#leverage redemption - 9 posts
#bucky barnes - 9 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#a lot of these are ones i recognize from the family movie collection but was too young to watch at the time and never got around to later
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion Characters: Eskel (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - M/M/M, Polyamory, Established Relationship, Breathplay, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, Oral Fixation, Fat Character, Chubby Eskel, Scent Kink Series: Part 3 of Gavilan's Witcher Fics Summary: Geralt loves the way Jaskier enjoys Eskel's soft, thick tummy.
This fills my BDSM square on my @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo card!
Inspired by this post by @officerjennie
9 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 18:49:54 GMT
#4
Under the Stars
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Moodboard fill for the @leverage-bingo​ Summer Flash Bingo prompt “star gazing.” Very loosely interpreted, but canon backs me up on that one - the gold stars and fairy lights are just as valid. 
I don’t have a full story for this, but here are some of the headcanons that went into it: Eliot had Opinions about the catering and the cake. He wanted to just do it all himself but Hardison put his foot down and insisted he let someone else be in the kitchen, he had wedding things to be doing. Parker wanted a chocolate cake until she discovered edible gold leaf, then she wanted a solid gold cake. They ended up with half and half, plus a futuristic design that appeals to Hardison’s nerdiness. Eliot didn’t care what it looked like as long as it had good flavors. They walked out of so many cake tasting sessions when Eliot was disappointed in the flavors. Parker also insisted on the chocolate fountain. If Eliot hadn’t handled the food, the entire buffet may have been chocolate. The gold stars were a surprise that Parker snuck in and hung the night before. Hardison almost cried walking down the aisle when he saw them. Thanks to everyone in The Discord Server Job who brainstormed with me! 
12 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 19:37:11 GMT
#3
Higher, Further, Faster, Forever
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When I saw the picture of them holding hands I just knew I had to make a wedding board for them. I love my space lesbians! They get married outdoors on Maria’s property, and Monica insists on a galaxy-themed cupcake tower because her new mom is from space. 
This is my second fill for @ladiesofmarvelbingo​
Title: Higher, Further, Faster, Forever Content Creator: Gavilan  Square Filled: M5 - Happily Ever After Rating: G Pairing: Carol/Maria Content Warnings: Picture of food (cupcakes) Summary: Carol and Maria affirm their love in a star-filled wedding.
34 notes • Posted 2021-06-28 00:39:30 GMT
#2
Strawberry Pie
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Bucky rolled his eyes as Tony plastered himself to his back. 
“Hey, I'm working here!” he protested.
“Mmm, yes, smells delicious,” Tony said, pressing distracting kisses to Bucky’s neck. “What is it?” 
“Strawberry pie. It was supposed to be a surprise, but you’re home early.”
“Aww, sweetheart, you know I don’t need any help in bed, not with you being all gorgeous.” Tony accompanied this perplexing non sequitur with a firm squeeze to Bucky’s ass. 
Bucky set his pastry cutter down and turned to face Tony. “What are you talking about?”
“Strawberries!” Tony said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Tony sometimes forgot most people weren’t at Jarvis’s level of following his rapid-fire brain. “Strawberries are an aphrodisiac, you are making strawberry pie as a treat for me, ergo…” Tony gestured expansively. 
“That had absolutely not occurred to me,” Bucky told him. 
“As well it shouldn’t. As if I have any trouble getting going when my boyfriend is as smoking hot as you are.” Tony gave him a very obvious once-over. Bucky laughed at him. Only Tony would get hot over him in his flour-dusted apron with his hair tied up haphazardly under a bandana and his left arm covered in a glove. His baking glove made him look like he was planning to give an ultrasound to a horse, but it was better than having butter go rancid between the plates of his hand. 
“So why strawberry pie, then?” Tony asked once he had finished ogling Bucky’s thighs. 
Bucky bit his lip. “I remembered my mom’s recipe.”
Tony’s grin shifted from lascivious to joyful. “Oh that’s great! The Barnes Family Strawberry Pie. Can’t wait to taste it!” 
Bucky smiled back. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I hope it comes out okay.”
“Are you kidding? Of course it’ll be delicious! Everything you make is delicious.”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “You’re biased,” he pointed out. “And it’ll never get done if you don’t get out of my kitchen.” He made a shooing gesture at Tony. 
“Alright, alright, I’ll let you work your magic,” Tony said, raising his hands and backing away, and Bucky turned back to his pie dough with a fond smile. It was always nice to stumble upon pleasant memories, and now he would make a new one with Tony to add to the growing collection. And apparently aphrodisiac qualities of strawberries aside, he would hardly object to making some more intimate memories later. After the pie was done.
Fill for the moodboard game prompts “strawberries” and “pie” from the Tony Stark Bingo Party over in the Discord.
This fills my @tonystarkbingo square S1: Kink: aphrodisiacs, my @buckybarnesbingo​ square U2: Fluff, and my @stb-bingo​ square B5: Established Winteriron! For once my bad habit of bingo card collecting is working in my favor!
On Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33535684
76 notes • Posted 2021-08-28 16:04:51 GMT
#1
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For this project, I designed and baked signature cupcakes for the members of the Barbershop Quartet! Each cupcake had a cake flavor, frosting, and fruit compote filling that represented an aspect of their character. I had a ton of fun designing and baking these cakes, and I ended up with approximately 70 cupcakes! Link to a presentation with the recipe info in the reblog.
I’m claiming a bingo fill for each of the represented characters. Info below:
Title: Barbershop Cup-tet
Fills the Free Space for these bingos:
Bucky Barnes Bingo 
Sam Wilson Bingo 
Ladies of Marvel Bingo
Steve|Tony|Bucky Bingo
Author: Gavilan 
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanoff (gen or ship)
Rating: G
Warnings: Images of food, cupcakes, baking
Summary: The team, but as cupcakes
201 notes • Posted 2021-01-01 00:57:11 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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neon-dynasty · 4 years ago
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Kamigawa was a failed endeavor. Released in the autumn of 2004, Champions of Kamigawa promised some new things for Magic the Gathering, and the return to some old things as well. Most importantly, in my opinion, it showed that Wizards was paying attention to what fans were interested in (outside of Magic) and wanted to provide a way of relating to the fans. However, just about everything they did with the setting and game either couldn’t live up to expectations or outright failed. Here’s why I think the original Kamigawa block failed, and why I think a return would be a resounding success.
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This came out much longer than I’d expected, so hit the jump.
For its entire existence up until 2004, most of Magic’s settings were a hodgepodge of fantasy tropes, and the storyline had been following or tying into a single thread for years. Kamigawa was the first setting to truly be free of the ongoing Magic story. Nowadays, however, Magic is known for its settings based on real-world places and cultures. Just this past year, we’ve visited Eldraine (Arthurian Britain), Theros (ancient Greece), and Ikoria (less a real culture and more about giant monster tropes). Back in 2004, however, visiting a clearly defined theme world like this was something that hadn’t been done in a long time. In fact, it’s something the franchise traditionally shied away from. 1996’s Mirage block took place in Jamuura, a continent on Dominaria based on sub-Saharan Africa.1995’s Ice Age was set in a Viking-inspired Terisiare. (You could say that Arabian Nights and Portal Three Kingdoms also count, but those were more wholesale copies than homages.) Based on ancient Japan, Kamigawa was the first herald of a new worldbuilding philosophy for Magic, one that would see the creative team at Wizards of the Coast put their own spin on familiar cultures and mythologies, while still keeping them distinctly their own. Kind of like Disney movies.
The mechanics also promised to shake things up. While I don’t remember any of the card announcements, Kamigawa block introduced many new pieces for the game. Samurai and ninja had their own keyword abilities in bushido and ninjutsu, and most of the sorcery and instant cards dealt with arcane and spirits. Legendary had its own theme as well, with 138 unique creatures (139, if you count the other Yamazaki brother) and 39 other permanents, with a number of cards that cared about the supertype. Finally, there were flip cards, a mechanically and visually interesting way of getting more value out of those creatures and introducing a sort of sidequest to your game. 
Kamigawa was gearing up to be something special in Magic. But as I said at the very beginning of this piece, it failed.
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The mechanics were kind of a disaster. Splice onto arcane was parasitic and to get any value out of it, you’d need to go all-in on overcosted cards. Bushido, sweep, offering, and most of the rest of the keywords were similarly underwhelming, either providing minuscule value or actively getting in the way of what you wanted to do. Putting the legendary supertype on a card is a downside when Commander doesn’t exist and singleton formats are not a popular way of playing. It doesn’t help that having too many legendary creatures in a set thend to make them feel less special, as well. Flip cards, while cool in theory, wound up being a logistical mess that didn’t add much to the enjoyment of casual games, and barely saw tournament play. All of this meant the cards didn’t really impact Standard, and Limited was a clunky ordeal more often than anyone would have liked. Following Mirrodin block, the most powerful three sets since Urza’s block, was also a tall order, and one that almost no set was equipped to fulfill. 
Admittedly, while I love the card game, I absolutely adore everything else about Magic. The storyline intrigued me when I started playing during Onslaught block, and knowing that there was this vast body of lore kept me hooked. Hearing that there was a Japanese-inspired setting coming up was pure hype for someone who’d also been into anime for years and video games for years before that. The early 00s were an interesting time for entertainment, as Japanese animation had finally infiltrated American mainstream media. Pokémon had been a successful card game for years (another story for another day), and Yu-Gi-Oh had just hit the scene in America after doing well in Japan for a few years. With all this and a burgeoning internet, fans of anime, video games, and Japanese culture had certain expectations. To say Kamigawa did not meet them would be an understatement. 
The general setting was based on an older Japanese culture, one which didn’t see much representation in media. Samurai, ninja, youkai, along with other popular figures and tropes were either later inventions or had a more solidified image hundreds of years after the source material took place. While I remember many Magic the Gathering fans being worried that the game would take on an anime aesthetic to capitalize on what was popular with the wider geek audience, they actually took it in the opposite direction. Instead of bright colors and bold outlines, Kamigawa was a dark and gritty place, which was made even more evident by the increasing demand for realistic detail in the art department. The kami themselves, one half of the conflict, were alien and foreign to behold. These weren’t based on images that otaku would have been familiar with, Japanese or Western, but based on much older stories that had been phased out of the public consciousness.
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In short, there is no “in short.” There are many reasons why it didn’t succeed, but ultimately, it came down to being something that no one really expected or wanted. Instead of taking the cheap, easy, and profitable route by leaning into anime culture, Wizards bucked the trend and used a setting that most Magic fans would not have been familiar with, forcing it to fit within the franchise. They also filled the block with parasitic mechanics that were clunky and actively detrimental to play. And yes, I’m leaving out dozens of other reasons why Kamigawa failed, but those are the main ones that I personally feel hurt the setting. 
Sadly, as public-facing employees remind us constantly, Kamigawa is a very difficult sell to the higher-ups. It was one of the company’s biggest failures, and they can’t use tweets and Tumblr asks from enfranchised fans as justifications for its return. And yet, the requests still pour in. I believe that the reasons for this desire are the key to a new set based in Kamigawa. 
Let’s start with the biggest one: Commander. In many ways, this format is kind of the anti-MtG. It’s a long, drawn-out process that uses decks built with your whole collection, rather than the newest releases. Cards that are awful in most other formats are amazing in Commander, and one of the biggest drawbacks a card can have - the Legendary supertype - is a major boon here. It’s also the current most popular format for old and new players alike. I think that more than anything else, Kamigawa’s legendary theme is what draws new players, as Commander enthusiasts will inevitably find some interesting cards that would never have worked well in the old days.
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I also think that Wizards of the Coast has learned a lot since 2004 (and whenever they started work on the original block). Remember, Kamigawa was the first of its kind: a real-world inspired setting completely separate from what the entire franchise had been doing for years. There were bound to be mistakes, and they’ve clearly learned how to rectify them. The following setting, Ravnica, used an Eastern European city aesthetic to compliment its two-color guild theme, but was still constrained by the block structure. Upon our return there, they changed the block structure to better fit what the themes and story wanted. On the other hand, Zendikar, their D&D-inspired adventure world, was beloved for its fast and fun mechanics, as well as the feeling of exploration on the cards and in the media. The return, however, involved destroying all of that in favor of an extradimensional war setting. Guilds of Ravnica and Zendikar Rising each supplied what the fans wanted out of those settings, to varying degrees of success. 
Wizards also keeps showing us glimpses into Kamigawa through Core Sets and supplemental products. Tamiyo showed up on Innistrad and Ravnica. They printed new shrines (compatible with the old Honden) in Core 2021. Yuriko, the Tiger’s Shadow, is one of my favorite commanders of all time, and she’s from the 2018 Commander set. They still value the setting, and don’t seem to be interested in ignoring it to the point of obscurity (like, for example, Mercadia). 
And, obviously, there are the rumors. With a blog name like mine, you have to have known this was coming. The three planeswalker concepts from surveys could point to anything: Commander products, supplementary sets, etc. However, I think that the web domains for Kamigawa Neon Dynasty point to a full set of some kind.
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Interestingly enough, the events of the original Kamigawa block take place in Magic’s very distant past, so it’s been a tantalizing prospect to see how the place might have changed in the past few thousand years. Skipping over medieval fantasy and bringing it past the present into a cyberpunk future might be an excellent way to go about it. Aesthetics from early 90’s anime could still be stylistically unique in Magic, while keeping elements from the old setting would root us to the original block. I could see the new story centering around a conflict between one faction clinging to ancient traditions and another pushing magical technology to its futuristic limits. After all, Tamiyo still dresses in old-fashioned robes and reads from scrolls, and the moonfolk were known to be almost completely isolated from everyone else. I wonder what the kami would look like, if we even saw them at all.
Ultimately, I think that Wizards is in the perfect spot to try Kamigawa again. Between their worldbuilding experience, the rise of the Commander format, and a willingness to push the aesthetics of their game in different directions, there’s a lot of reason to hope that we’ll be heading back sooner or later. 
Please feel free to let me know if I missed something or got any details wrong. And please discuss what you’d like to see in a return to Kamigawa, either new stuff or old. 
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thehierophage · 4 years ago
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April 9, 2021 æ.v. Dies Venii, 
☉︎ 20° ♈︎ : ☽︎ 27° ♓︎ : ♀︎ : Ⅴⅴⅰⅰ 
  Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. 
  The Feast for the Second Day of the Writing of the Book of the Law, The Greater Feast of Saint Rabelais, The Greater Feast of Saint Francis Bacon Lord Verulam, The Day of Beth, The Day of the Magician 
Hebrew Letter: Beth 
Numerical Value as Letter: 2 
Numerical Value as Word: 412 (Beth+Yod+Tav) 
Meaning: House. 
  Thoth Card: The Magus (Atu I) 
Alternate Title: The Magus of Power. 
  Image: 
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Correspondences: 
Tree of Life Path Association: Key 12 - Binah to Kether (from Sephira 3-1) 
Astrological Sign: Mercury 
Element: - 
Egyptian Godforms: Thoth, Seshat, Imhotep (deified) and Cynocephalus 
Geomantic Figure: Octagram 
Gemstones: Achates/Agate, Opal 
Perfumes: Mastic, Mace, Storax, Nutmeg, Euphorbium, Karaya and all fleeting odors 
Plants: Nutmeg, Vervain, Ash, Herb Mercury, Palm, Arnica, Mullein, Cinquefoil 
Animals: Dog, Mullet, Monkey, Jackal, Cynocephalus ape, Civet cat, Weasel, Bee, Hybrids, Fish 
Colors: 
King Scale – Yellow 
Queen Scale – Purple 
Prince Scale – Grey 
Princess Scale – Indigo, rayed violet 
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The Secret Instruction of the Master:
The True Self is the meaning of the True Will: know Thyself through Thy Way! Calculate well the Formula of Thy Way! Create freely; absorb joyously; divide intently; consolidate completely. Work thou, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent, in and for Eternity.
Mnemonic:
The Word of Wisdom weaves the web of lies, Weds irreducible Infinities.
Recommended Text for Meditation:
Liber AL vel Legis sub figura CCXX, Cap. 2
The Book of the Law Liber AL vel Legis sub figura CCXX
as delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI
II
1. Nu! the hiding of Hadit.
2. Come! all ye, and learn the secret that hath not yet been revealed. I, Hadit, am the complement of Nu, my bride. I am not extended, and Khabs is the name of my House.
3. In the sphere I am everywhere the centre, as she, the circumference, is nowhere found.
4. Yet she shall be known & I never.
5. Behold! the rituals of the old time are black. Let the evil ones be cast away; let the good ones be purged by the prophet! Then shall this Knowledge go aright.
6. I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. I am Life, and the giver of Life, yet therefore is theknowledge of me the knowledge of death.
7. I am the Magician and the Exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. "Come unto me" is a foolish word: for it is I that go.
8. Who worshipped Heru-pa-kraath have worshipped me; ill, for I am the worshipper.
9. Remember all ye that existence is pure joy; that all the sorrows are but as shadows; they pass & are done; but there is that which remains.
10. O prophet! thou hast ill will to learn this writing.
11. I see thee hate the hand & the pen; but I am stronger.
12. Because of me in Thee which thou knewest not.
13. for why? Because thou wast the knower, and me.
14. Now let there be a veiling of this shrine: now let the light devour men and eat them up with blindness!
15. For I am perfect, being Not; and my number is nine by the fools; but with the just I am eight, and one in eight: Which is vital, for I am none indeed. The Empress and the King are not of me; for there is a further secret.
16. I am The Empress & the Hierophant. Thus eleven, as my bride is eleven.
17. Hear me, ye people of sighing!
The sorrows of pain and regret
Are left to the dead and the dying,
The folk that not know me as yet.
18. These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not for the poor and sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk.
19. Is a God to live in a dog? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.
20. Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us.
21. We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not, o king, upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. Now let it be understood: If the body of the King dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever. Nuit! Hadit! Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Sun, Strength & Sight, Light; these are for the servants of the Star & the Snake.
22. I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge & Delight and bright glory, and stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, & be drunk thereof! They shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, o man! lust, enjoy all things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for this.
23. I am alone: there is no God where I am.
24. Behold! these be grave mysteries; for there are also of my friends who be hermits. Now think not to find them in the forest or on the mountain; but in beds of purple, caressed by magnificent beasts of women with large limbs, and fire and light in their eyes, and masses of flaming hair about them; there shall ye find them. Ye shall see them at rule, at victorious armies, at all the joy; and there shall be in them a joy a million times greater than this. Beware lest any force another, King against King! Love one another with burning hearts; on the low men trample in the fierce lust of your pride, in the day of your wrath.
25. Ye are against the people, O my chosen!
26. I am the secret Serpent coiled about to spring: in my coiling there is joy. If I lift up my head, I and my Nuit are one. If I droop down mine head, and shoot forth venom, then is rapture of the earth, and I and the earth are one.
27. There is great danger in me; for who doth not understand these runes shall make a great miss. He shall fall down into the pit called Because, and there he shall perish with the dogs of Reason.
28. Now a curse upon Because and his kin!
29. May Because be accursed for ever!
30. If Will stops and cries Why, invoking Because, then Will stops & does nought.
31. If Power asks why, then is Power weakness.
32. Also reason is a lie; for there is a factor infinite & unknown; & all their words are skew-wise.
33. Enough of Because! Be he damned for a dog!
34. But ye, o my people, rise up & awake!
35. Let the rituals be rightly performed with joy & beauty!
36. There are rituals of the elements and feasts of the times.
37. A feast for the first night of the Prophet and his Bride!
38. A feast for the three days of the writing of the Book of the Law.
39. A feast for Tahuti and the child of the Prophet--secret, O Prophet!
40. A feast for the Supreme Ritual, and a feast for the Equinox of the Gods.
41. A feast for fire and a feast for water; a feast for life and a greater feast for death!
42. A feast every day in your hearts in the joy of my rapture!
43. A feast every night unto Nu, and the pleasure of uttermost delight!
44. Aye! feast! rejoice! there is no dread hereafter. There is the dissolution, and eternal ecstasy in the kisses of Nu.
45. There is death for the dogs.
46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?
47. Where I am these are not.
48. Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler.
49. I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen. (This is of the 4: there is a fifth who is invisible, & therein am I as a babe in an egg. )
50. Blue am I and gold in the light of my bride: but the red gleam is in my eyes; & my spangles are purple & green.
51. Purple beyond purple: it is the light higher than eyesight.
52. There is a veil: that veil is black. It is the veil of the modest woman; it is the veil of sorrow, & the pall of death: this is none of me. Tear down that lying spectre of the centuries: veil not your vices in virtuous words: these vices are my service; ye do well, & I will reward you here and hereafter.
53. Fear not, o prophet, when these words are said, thou shalt not be sorry. Thou art emphatically my chosen; and blessed are the eyes that thou shalt look upon with gladness. But I will hide thee in a mask of sorrow: they that see thee shall fear thou art fallen: but I lift thee up.
54. Nor shall they who cry aloud their folly that thou meanest nought avail; thou shall reveal it: thou availest: they are the slaves of because: They are not of me. The stops as thou wilt; the letters? change them not in style or value!
55. Thou shalt obtain the order & value of the English Alphabet; thou shalt find new symbols to attribute them unto.
56. Begone! ye mockers; even though ye laugh in my honour ye shall laugh not long: then when ye are sad know that I have forsaken you.
57. He that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is filthy shall be filthy still.
58. Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever: the slaves shall serve. There is none that shall be cast down or lifted up: all is ever as it was. Yet there are masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot hide his poverty.
59. Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him.
60. Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!
61. There is a light before thine eyes, o prophet, a light undesired, most desirable.
62. I am uplifted in thine heart; and the kisses of the stars rain hard upon thy body.
63. Thou art exhaust in the voluptuous fullness of the inspiration; the expiration is sweeter than death, more rapid and laughterful than a caress of Hell's own worm.
64. Oh! thou art overcome: we are upon thee; our delight is all over thee: hail! hail: prophet of Nu! prophet of Had! prophet of Ra-Hoor-Khu! Now rejoice! now come in our splendour & rapture! Come in our passionate peace, & write sweet words for the Kings.
65. I am the Master: thou art the Holy Chosen One.
66. Write, & find ecstasy in writing! Work, & be our bed in working! Thrill with the joy of life & death! Ah! thy death shall be lovely: whososeeth it shall be glad. Thy death shall be the seal of the promise of our age long love. Come! lift up thine heart & rejoice! We are one; we are none.
67. Hold! Hold! Bear up in thy rapture; fall not in swoon of the excellent kisses!
68. Harder! Hold up thyself! Lift thine head! breathe not so deep -- die!
69. Ah! Ah! What do I feel? Is the word exhausted?
70. There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!
71. But exceed! exceed!
72. Strive ever to more! and if thou art truly mine -- and doubt it not, an if thou art ever joyous! -- death is the crown of all.
73. Ah! Ah! Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee.
74. The length of thy longing shall be the strength of its glory. He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among the Kings.
75. Aye! listen to the numbers & the words:
76. 4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L. What meaneth this, o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shalt thou know ever. There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound it. But remember, o chose none, to be me; to follow the love of Nu in the star-lit heaven; to look forth upon men, to tell them this glad word.
77. O be thou proud and mighty among men!
78. Lift up thyself! for there is none like unto thee among men or among Gods! Lift up thyself, o my prophet, thy stature shall surpass the stars. They shall worship thy name, foursquare, mystic, wonderful, the number of the man; and the name of thy house 418.
79. The end of the hiding of Hadit; and blessing & worship to the prophet of the lovely Star!
Love is the law, love under will.
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daprec · 4 years ago
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Unspoken and Spoken Mat Rules At Combat Room Miramar #jiujitsufirst
Some of these were borrowed from BJJEE and Gentlemen Grappler, some were modified by me, and others are my own rules or rules that have been passed down and seen as tradition
1. Shake the hands of the black belts when you enter and when you leave the mat. Additionally, after greeting the blackbelt please greet your teammates with the JJ handshake and smile 🙂
2. If a higher belt invites you to roll, you roll. They will invite you politely, if you say no they might not ask you again (except on special situations such as injuries, necessary rest for competition and others).
3. If a black belt is rolling near you, stop and move. If you are a black belt and you have a stable position and the lower belts around you are scrambling or with a submission locked in, don’t be a tyrant, be humble, you move.
4. Be stoic. If you get a submission, don’t celebrate, don’t show any joy. If you are submitted, don’t show frustration, shake hands and restart.
5. If the pain is tolerable don’t stop. Don’t talk to your partner about it, don’t expect them to say they are sorry, most of the times they didn’t even realized what happened. Keep it to yourself.
6. No excuses, a tap is a tap, crank or no crank. Don’t waste time massaging your ego explaining why you tapped, focus on what you should had done instead.
7. During the explanation of a position be attentive, listen carefully. Don’t expect the full attention of your professor if you didn’t give him any.
8. Payback rule, whatever you do, it will be done to you. If you are rough we will be rough on you. If you dedicate yourself to Jiu-Jitsu we will dedicate ourselves to you.
9. Do not cheer for teammates while you watch them roll. If you are on the side watching a roll, please keep your outbursts of joy that your teammate got a sub on your other teammate. It’s not fair and doesn’t help the person who got sub’d at all.
10. No coaching from the sidelines unless you’re a purple belt or above. If you ARE purple and above, please do not coach if the head coach, instructor or Professor is coaching. Too many people shouting instructions at 1 practitioner doesn’t help anyone and it’s the Professors job to coach his/her students. If Professor isn’t there (in a tournament scenario), then the high belt coaches
11. Whitebelts are not allowed to make rules or teach. You’re a whitebelt and with all due respect, you don’t know much at this stage. Unless you’re a D1 All American Wrestler or Judo World Champion who are joining up in BJJ, you are not allowed to teach newcomers or other whitebelts, and you most certainly are not allowed to make rules on the mats.
12. Always make a bow before stepping onto the mats. This is a quick and nice way to check your mind and body onto the tatame, and focus on training, leaving your job and real world problems behind.
13. No barefeet off of the mats ESPECIALLY WHEN GOING TO THE TOILETS. If I need to explain why then you owe me 3000 pushups.
14. In general lower belts are not allowed to ask higher belts to roll. There are always exceptions but this rule must always be adhered to unless an arrangement or conversation has been had by the individual high belt. This also goes for male whitebelts asking other women whitebelts to roll. At this stage the technique isn’t there yet and we want to mitigate unintentional injury as much as possible.
15. NEVER ask when you’re going to be promoted, or when another student is going to be promoted. Instructors have their reasons why/when/if to promote a student and their judgement must be respected at all times, regardless if you understand or disagree with the decision. This is simply how it’s always been.
16. Training at other gyms. One-off training is fine if you want to visit another gym to get a different experience or have friends there. But regular training at other gyms isn’t cool for a variety of reasons. The 1st being your grading process, and the 2nd being the fact that coaches invest a lot of time and effort into your training. Training at HQ or other Combat Rooms is strongly encouraged, but you do not earn credit at CR Miramar from training at other CRs.
17. If late to class – please wait to be waved onto the mats by your Professor. This is so that he/she knows you’re on the mats to help keep track of attendance and safety. Additionally without question 20 pushups is owed as penalty for being late.
18. Forgetting your belt. Whitebelts owe 20 pushups, Bluebelts owe 40 pushups, Purplebelts owe 40 pushups + 40 burpees. Brown and Blackbelts never forget their belts because punishment works.
19. Start and finish class with a bow. As previously mentioned this is more of a handshake rather than any sort of reverence. Its more to pay respect to each other: the instructor to you, and you to the instructor.
20. Line up according to rank. (yes even in the picture) The people who have put in more mat time have not only earned this right, but also have more knowledge than the lower belts. This is attributed to the “Martial” part of “Martial (Military) Arts (Subjective Craft)”
21. Blackbelts are called “Professor or Sensei”. If your gym has purple/brown belts who are official gym instructors named by the head instructor, they are called “Coach”
22. Always have a clean gi or no-gi uniforms. “No one wants to essmell you esstink” – Rey Diogo
23. Please trim your finger and toe nails. We don’t know how to fight wolverines yet
24. Be a good training partner and/or Uke. When practicing technique with a partner, or if Professor calls upon you to demonstrate a technique, please don’t act like this is a live sparring event. Practice is practice, rolling is rolling, demonstration is DEMONSTRATION. If you resist or start defending, Professor will not call on you again to help.
25. Train in a controlled and methodical manner. We are not here to injure our teammates or “break our toys” as I like to say. Beginners don’t have the technique yet to implement this philosophy at first, so upper belts please don’t get frustrated. Help them along the way, as upper belts did for you when you were a beginner. Beginners, no one is going to kill you, so try to remain calm during a roll and learn something.
26. Please stick to the IBJJF ruleset of submissions unless you have verbally agreed with your training partner otherwise.
This means:
No neck cranks, cervical locks or heel hooks
No slamming
No footlocks or kneebars for white belts (straight ankle locks are IBJJF approved for all belts)
No fish hooking, eye gouging or grabbing fingers individually
Avoid chokes along the jaw, chin, teeth or face
ALWAYS respect the tap, and allow partners time to tap
27. Go slow when applying a submission. Most joint locks can cause severe damage, especially the arm and shoulder locks. I know it’s exciting, but please go slow enough to give your partners a second to tap or don’t apply the submission 150%
28. Tap early and a lot. Everyone taps – this is part of the game. Think of it as a game of “gotcha” rather than a game of wining or losing. Most of my taps usually end with a giggle and a “that was awesome well done”. This is how we learn. This is the realtime feedback that illustrates a mistake on our part that needs addressing. Work on your weaknesses.
29. Please invest in a mouthguard. Accidents do happen, and as adult humans our teeth do not grow back. Pay the money on a good one, it’s worth it. This is not mandatory, but strongly advised.
30. MINIMUM attendance for promotion consideration is 3 days a week. I need to see you on the mats at least 3 days a week consistently for 6 months for you to be considered for a stripe or promotion. This does NOT include going to HQ or other gyms or open mat (free rolling days). You need to be on the mats in Miramar to qualify for a promotion. If you can tap and sweep everyone in the gym but are only showing up 1 day a week then you most likely won’t get promoted.
31. Always come to class with a positive and open mindset
32. During technique practice please do NOT talk the entire time. Not only is this disrespectful to your Professor, you are wasting your training partners time as well as your own time. Technique practice time is the single most important part of class and is the only time I expect full focus from all of my students. We only get 3 hours a week to train, and only 1/2 that time to practice technique to please avoid socializing and practice the technique.
33. Do not attend class if you are sick. Please stay home until you are completely well and ready to train. Do not come to class to watch if you still have symptoms
34. Do not train injured. If you are injured please come to class to watch, but as difficult as it may be, please don’t train. Injuries can linger for YEARS if you do not take the time to heal properly. You’ve already dedicated yourself to JJ, it’s not going anywhere. Rest up, heal up and come back stronger!
35. Please remove all jewelery, earrings, bracelets before class
36. If you are on the side watching people roll, it is your job to help prevent collisions happening on the mats. Step inbetween 2 groups of people rolling and do your best to either protect their heads or if they get too close let them know they should move. The higher belts have the mat priority, so lower belts move for them.
37. High belts are responsible for the mats after class and locking up. If I’m not around to mop the mats, high belts are responsible. It’s really EVERYONES job. Make sure the mats are mopped and stacked before leaving the gym. Don’t wait for someone else to do it, please help. Also if there is no one else in the gym, the high belt (bluebelt and up) is responsible to lock up.
38. NO SHOES ON THE MAT EVER. I shouldn’t even have to type this, but sadly I do.
39. *AMENDED* Leave drama off of the mat AND out of the group chat please. If it’s mat drama please deal with it off of the mats in a kind and respectful way. If it’s chat drama please deal with it off the chat in person in a kind and respectful way.
Please keep in mind I work 50-60hr weeks PLUS teach BJJ – 2 jobs. I would appreciate it if people could figure it out among themselves. Keep in mind I’m only qualified to give you Jiu Jitsu and Motion Capture Animation advice 😊
If you find yourself consistently at the center of issues at the gym or the chat, perhaps step away for a bit and think about what the common denominator is and how you can improve/fix things and come back with a different mind set. If things can’t be settled then speak to me about a different solution, but please try the above avenues prior to reaching out to me.
All of that said I’m always here for my students and can/will help however possible, but if it’s things I don’t need to be involved in, please help me and be #mindful in that regard.🙏
40. Guys – don’t hit on the ladies. Our gym has a unique and large female presence and I want to keep it that way. We haven’t had a problem yet that I know of and it’s going to stay that way.
41. Saying “Oss” is an affirmation. This is a very traditional method of either saying “you understand”, or “I give you permission to practice on me and I on you” or just a sign of gratitude and respect. Oss is cool
42. What happens on the mats stays on the mats. I know we all get excited and our ego’s pumped when we sweep or tap out someone. But lets keep that to ourselves – we don’t need to gloat off the mats about sweeping a 1 stripe whitebelt, or how we heelhooked a 12 year old, or how we passed a blackbelts guard (who 99.99% let you anyway). We especially find it tacky and uncool posting these kinds of things on social media so keep it in the gym.
43. Beginners, yes the higher belt let you have it, unless they said you legitimately “got them”, so please hold off on launching the blimp and having a parade until you have confirmation. Its the higher belts job to help guide you along this path, and at some point you will stop being given chances.
***UPDATE 01***
44. Whatever special arrangements I’ve made with an individual apply to that individual ONLY. Sometimes there are things in life that are out of our control, and we cannot manage to abide by some of these rules. If a student has spoken directly to me about some life event or change and we need to come up with a plan specific to them, that does NOT mean it applies to everyone. Every student is responsible to speak to me about their situations.
***UPDATE 02***
45. Visiting guests from another gyms. Of course always be courteous and welcoming, but the general unspoken rule is to smoke them when rolling – usually when matched to your belt level 😃. This is a worldwide unspoken standard within BJJ gyms. The thinking is when they leave our gym and go back to their home gym, they’ll know that we practice good Jiu Jitsu and train hard. This helps keep quality and standards up within the BJJ community and increases the drive at other clubs to improve. It’s kind of a weird quality control, but hey we’re learning how to fight so it isn’t always pretty. There are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules, but this is the general “Old School” way of doing things, that as far as I know is still an unspoken standard.
46. Visiting other schools. Be respectful and courteous – mind your manners at all times. Give them a call or an email before showing up to ask if it’s OK to jump into a class. Greet the Black Belt or head coach 1st. Treat the tatami how you would treat your own school regardless if they do not practice the same etiquette as your home gym. Train hard, be technical, – don’t be a meat head.
“It’s better to know your manners and not need them instead of needing your manners and not knowing them.” – Miyamoto Musashi I think 😛
***UPDATE 03***
47. Gi and no-gi uniform. Being that we’re still in a Covid pandemic, we still must continue practicing safe hygene. This means wearing leggings and rash guards under your gi. This means wearing leggings, shorts and long sleeve rash guards for no-gi. We’ll continue this practice when we eventually are a post-Covid world.
***UPDATE 04***
48. ZERO TOLERANCE of sexual harassment. Ladies if anything of the such happens at our club, however unlikely, please bring it to my attention IMMEDIATELY. I have a 1 strike and you’re out policy and will not condone this kind of behavior from any of my students.
Other thoughts
You’re going to want to quit. Don’t worry we have all felt that throughout this journey. BJJ is hard. Some say the hardest thing they’ve ever done. The learning never ends – the same goes with life and anything else you want to master. And just as in life, running from your problems never solves anything so call timeout, recharge, and come back!
Ask yourself what kind of student do you want to be? One that’s made of rubber? Bouncing back and forth to class, disappearing for months, reappearing for months again and again? One that’s made of wood? After a couple breaks or if things get too hard they quit, never to return? Or one that’s made of steel? A student who regardless of the injuries, hits to the ego, damage to the body, never bends or breaks and always shows up ready to train.
Rubber, Wood or Steel – which are you?
For most all practicioners, the mats are a sacred space. We train because not only do we love the art, but our time on the mats is a cathertic experience. We can forget our daily lives, our jobs, families, friends, pets etc and focus 100% on ourselves, our minds and our bodies while learning something usefull and cool.
Lets not forget what this means to everyone and always give and pay the tatame and class the reverence it deserves. Oss!
*Over time this rule set can and will be amended*
Unspoken and Spoken Mat Rules At Combat Room Miramar #jiujitsufirst was originally published on davepreciado
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yourtokentony · 4 years ago
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The TokenTony Letterkenny Character Ranking
The Ranker ranking was ungodly. How dare they. They were wrong in so many ways that can’t even be counted. So it’s my turn. Time to fix it.
The first step is to recognize the difference between “recurring characters” and “oneoffs”. Some oneoffs may appear in future or more than one gags (Garrett/Jarrett wasn’t even mentioned) but they were listed, so I have to relist.
One Offish Characters
9. The TSN Sports Anchors - Not bad people, I’m sure, but these situations they appeared in were literally based on Tanis’s speeches (the females) and the joke set up by Jean Jacques Francois Jacque Jean. So they are the bottom spot.
8. Native Hockey Coach - Again, not a bad dude, but only a yang to Tanis’s Yan.
7. The Matchmaker - Why was she listed? The only reason she even got a nod higher here is that she gave me (and viewers I’m sure) a chance to really see some fun in characters (I’ll never look at baseball the same again)
6 Sled Ted/Jivin’ Pete I get it. They helped establish the show. But not great characters at all. 
5. Big City Slams: They were good people too (sorry, I’m a boy) and helped Stuart become more than just a nobody, and that good lovin’ became a part of my daily speech for a while. But they are just a gag on “we’re hot.”
4. Dyck Sisters: God in Heaven, they ranked too many characters. But dick jokes are funny and their parents appeared more than once.
3. Wally: Started the Native trend. Gets points for that.
2. Hard Right Jay: This was a fun episode, and I really like this guy (the actor). He was a sad representation of what the US really is, and a good character in the show.
1. RatAss: The king of the one off characters. “Let’s get to it, Knock off Wolverine” makes me laugh every time and I think it’s a real life point.
Actual Characters
46. The Models - I love a pun gag more than most (I’m a dad), but I didn’t like the idea that “Katie Fucks” was being thrown in Wayne’s face. The idea was always a “yeah, it’s happening, but we won’t talk about it”.
45. Tania’s Crew - Again, like some of the one offs, Tanis’s opposites weren’t the greatest depth, but good still...but not alone.
44. Brodude Twins - Not a fan. But hey, I’m a guy.
43. Angie - Here’s why Angie is so low...she was unused. I feel she could have been central as a “not Wayne” character, but she pops in and out randomly. And she messed up the senior whaleshit hockey team.
42. The Newfoundland Hockey Players: I laughed. You laughed. It was a blast to see the chirping go the other way. But not the deepest gag of the show and definitely not worth Ranker’s situation.
41. The Brodude leader: Honestly, isn’t she quite the chauvinistic human? Other than that, you can almost predict her lines. And I don’t like that.
40. Quebeck Hicks: I loved the idea. I smiled. I said “Look at French Squirrely Dan!” But otherwise, not much contribution.
39. Jean Jacque Francois Jacque Jean: He only got his own separate because I see him in the finale of season 9. And I hate his name is so stereotypical, but I dig.
38. Alexander: The TERLETS! Hahah But yeah, just a start.
37. Devon: The leader of the Skids when Stuart was “away”...still didn’t do much for me. But I don’t think the Skids are great characters anyway.
36. Bradley: OK, probably should have been in the oneoff category, but man...that was a great episode. I’ll race Squirrely right now! Tito get me a tissue!
35. Gae: Man, a whole season to try to grow the skids and still didn’t do it for me. But the “why do you rebel” was a part of my life for a few drunken nights.
34. Ellen: Dude, I wish she was on screen more. A lot of Squirrely Dan’s growth was wrapped in her and yet, she was in like 2 episodes. Sigh.
33. Anik: The reason Scottie got such a high vote, but she dropped because well, chauvanism.
32. Cousin Jake: It was nice to have an American in the show. For real. And he made an impact. But so many other characters!
31. Dax: I had to separate them only because of Katie’s reaction during the matchmaking episode. But yeah, they are both down here.
30. Ron: See above, only without that reaction.
29. Girl Hockey players: I loved it. It’s fun to make fun of girls for being promiscuous. But we’re getting into really influential territory and they don’t have the “we were there to start” points.
28. Senior Whaleshit Hockey Players: See above. I love my Senior Whaleshit Hockey Players like I love my ex-wife: 28th on the list.
27. Scottie Wallis: I still say YEW when I see cute girls. If he had been in more than 2 episodes.
26. The Ginger: I mean, the first accused of ostrich-fucking became Squirrely Dan’s catch phrase. I have a shirt that says “allegedly” and I say it also frequently.
25. Boots: I mean, you’d need at least 2 people to smash an ostrich.
24. Noah Dyck: I had to separate them. He was good, but wasn’t as good as his other half.
23. Dierks: Man. Have I ever wanted to fight someone more. Katie believed in him and he was the American infiltration to this smalltown. Sigh. We all learn...
22. Anita Dyck: She gets a higher ranking because she was “human”. She had no time for Daryl’s crap and was still doing her best to stay trure.
21. Rosie: Look, she’s doing good for Wayne. And I like some color in my white TV. But they are forcing good lines to her, and she doesn’t really deserve them.
20. Roald: I don’t like how much we make fun of him as a sub. But he’s there. And has been. He’s winning only on longevity.
19. Gayle: Lots of fighting on this one. I love Gayle’s character. Horny. Small Business owner. Basically me in all my dreams. Again, we’re getting tough here.
18. Mrs. McMurray: I think of her more when I think of “ugh...the lifestyle” than I do her husband. But she seems to be phasing out of the show, and that’s sad. Cause she could get it.
17. McMurray: Dude, his speech on what average penis length is should have absolutely given him top billing, but they have again started phasing him out. Sigh.
16. Stewart: The leader of the skids does deserve top billing. They aren’t my favorite characters though, and I’m not the biggest fan.
15. Marie Fred: I was more sad for this betrayal than a lot of TV betrayals I’m used to. And that’s new for me. But they gave her Rosie type lines while she was dating him and gave her an out. That’s good stuff.
14. Tyson: Tyson is good people. But his intro to the show is what separates and lowers him from his compadre.
13. Glen: My favorite uncomfirmed gay in the show. Longevity (cause well, he’s a writer) and always present in good story connecting arcs (again, the dating episode for Wayne really put him on for me)
12. Jimmie Dickens: My second round of watching all the seasons made me love Jimmie Dickens more than others. I said “400% bullshit round here” at work once, and everyone agreed.
11. Joint Boy: Joint Boy’s initial monologue before fighting Wayne separates him from Tyson, also the way he kicked a guy in the nuts before steaks.
10. Tanis: We are getting in the weeds now. I love Tanis. 10/10 would recommend. The crap she gives Wayne for simply crossing his legs is both legendary and amazing. BUTTTT...she’s also quite...unrefined. Both as a character and as a person. She shouldn’t be so...lost, right?
9. Coach: I freaking love Coach. “F***ing embarrassing” has become a part of my normal life. The barb episode and the beer league hockey were great additions to the show. I want my oreos.
8. BONNIE MCMURRAY. If you didn’t say it like that, you don’t understand.
7. Jonesy: Dude, he’s a real one. Created so many new terms in my vocab for no reason. The only reason he’s lower:
6.: Reilly: Doesn’t have a treasure trail. But a great spot.
5. Darry: I wish, for real, they didn’t beat him up so much. But Banana Boat is not a cologne, Dary!
4. Katy: I hope she’s not upset about literally being the “hot girl with problems”, but they do it good on this show.
3. Squirrley Dan: My dog. My truth. My spirit animal. He’s only not #1 because he has to correct and adjust the rest of the cast. DON’T MAKE ME SHOW YOU WHAT IT MEANS TO GET ROWDY! (Dan voice)
2. Wayne: Yeah, he’s great. No qualms here.
1. Shores. My Australian friends call me “Rossy”, in case you were wondering where the “y” comes from. But man Shoresy is hands down the best character in the show. I hope, and pray, they don’t ever make him “vulnerable”. Just let him be!
Thanks for reading!
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pinksuitpost · 4 years ago
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Yemin Streaming by Sub English EP.19 264 Bolum 2020
Yemin Streaming by Sub English EP.19 264 Bolum 2020
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littledonkeyburrito · 7 years ago
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Got my hopes up that the school might actually be on fire
1. Are you going anywhere for this summer? I’ll be going back to Australia in the middle of their summer. That counts, right?
2. Do you put ketchup on top of your French fries or on the side? Neither. Not a huge fan of tomato sauce. I think chips taste just fine on their own
3. Last time you smoked weed? I think it was July. It was my last attempt to see if I could actually enjoy it. I didn’t.
4. What are you currently hearing right now? Tengo un Amor - Genitallica
5. Do you go to the bathroom with the door open or closed? The bathroom door in my apartment doesn’t actually close properly but I still close it as far as it will go even though I live alone.
6. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? Yes
7. What are you looking forward to? Having a salary again. Also seeing my friends for the first time in a year. But I am not looking forward to the price of alcohol in Australia
8. If you were kicked out of your current residence, whom would you call? A hostel.
9. Are there framed pictures from your parents wedding in your house? There are not even framed pictures of my parents’ wedding in their own houses, since they split up 17 years ago
10. Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex? Their sex is irrelevant. I don’t hang out with anyone because I don’t have any friends in this country.
11. Who was the last person you cried in front of? A cinema full of people who were probably also crying
12. Would you rather live in New York City or Washington DC? New York is further from the annoying orange but tbh I’d rather not live anywhere in that country.
13. Have you ever slept on the floor with the person you like? Who is this person I like? Can you introduce me? 14. Last non-alcoholic beverage consumed? Orange juice. I haven’t drunk any alcohol since I accidentally got trashed home alone last week haha 15. What are you wearing? stripey long sleeve shirt, grey hoodie, jeans, socks 16. Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single? Are you implying that some people think it’s only okay to kiss others when you’re not single? I don’t understand.
17. Have you ever met someone who is amazing? No, all my friends are shit. Of course I have met amazing people. 18. Does someone love you? I like to think my mum does 19. Do you want any tattoos? I used to but now I don’t care so much 20. Do you have anything in your pockets right now? Phone.  21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? Muji, in Japan 22. When are you going to dye your hair next? Not for a long time. I’m pretty happy with my natural hair colour these days.
23. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, currently playing is Fake My Own Death - Sum 41
24. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? A few times, but not in the last couple of years
25. Something’s wrong: FIRST guy you turn to? Depends what is wrong but probably my dad
26. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I think it was either white rum or tequila
27. Do you wear sweaters in the Winter or hoodies, more often? Depends on where I’m going. Lately I like my stripey sweater if I’m going out and wear my hoodie at home
28. Has your school ever had a lockdown? If so, for what reason exactly? Okay so when I was in highschool I was in music class in a classroom attached to the gym which is slightly separated from the rest of the school. We were watching lord of the rings bc we were learning about film soundtracks. One girl had gone outside, walked all the way around to the bathrooms at the back of the gym and come back. It was just after she got back that one of the groundskeepers came into our class and was like “what the hell are you guys doing?? You know the whole school is on lockdown, right? Didn’t you hear the alarms? Get under your desks!”  So we were all like “um wtf??” and got under our desks and turned the movie off. We peered out the windows across to the carpark and there was a bunch of cop cars with their lights on. Turns out there was an intruder in the school with a knife and the lockdown alarms had been going off but there was no alarm attached to the gym so we didn’t hear it, especially not over lord of the rings. They installed an alarm there that same week. 
29. Do you enjoy it when your school has drills? No, it was always so boring and got my hopes up that the school might actually be on fire this time.
30. What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? I have a growing collection of white earphones but I didn’t buy any of them. I keep getting given them on planes and nightbuses.
31. Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? These are not mutually exclusive
32. Where was the last place you vacationed to? Did you enjoy this time? I went to Paris a couple of weeks ago. It was okay but would have been better if I had people to hang out with. I’m pretty bad at travelling solo and I struggle to meet people in hostels.
33. Do you like Mexican food? What’s your favorite meal under that genre of food? Genre? lmao
34. Are you afraid of thunderstorms? I love storms and that is one thing I miss from living in the tropics/sub-tropics
35. What is keeping you warm right now? WELL IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T MY PIECE OF SHIT HEATER
36. Would you ever donate blood? If they’d let me, but the countries I’ve lived in lately don’t want it because they think I have mad cow disease.
37. Would you go 2 days without eating for $200? For only $200? Hell no. Add another zero and I might consider it.
38. What are you currently listening to? This question comes up so often but fortunately it’s always a different answer. Now playing is La Mordidita - Ricky Martin
39. When’s the last time someone made you feel like you mattered? I was talking to a friend about when I’ll be back in Aus and he asked for plenty of notice on what date it would be so he could take a couple days off work because he was really excited to see me again. That was a nice thing to hear and I’m pretty sure we’re going to get fucking smashed when we see each other again because we are each other’s party friend. My liver dreads this date but the rest of me is excited to see him again.
40. Would you say your life is on the right track right now? It’s off-roading
41. Do/Did you skip class? On days I had drum lessons I would usually skip an extra half an hour or so. One of the drum teachers I had did not give a flying fuck that I was skipping class and he would actually kinda help me with it. My lesson was supposed to be 30 minutes every week. But I would rock up toward the end of the second break and stay until home bell rang almost 2 hours later. We would just jam or sometimes I’d show up and he’d literally leave to go get lunch while I sat there playing drums instead of going to maths.
42. Do you have long eyelashes? Yes. My lower eyelashes are so long that if I were to wear mascara it would smudge onto my skin when I blink. I learned this when my mum put makeup on me as a trial run before my highschool formal.
43. Does your family make you feel supported? Yes, I have a pretty great family
44. What is the highest outdoor temperature you’ve ever had to endure?  Outdoors? It was 45 Celsius in Varanasi, India AND I was sick at that point which made it even worse. I only went out at dawn and dusk for those couple of days. But I’ve been in slightly higher temperatures in vehicles in India. On one bus my phone was in my bag and it turned itself off because it was too hot.
45. And the lowest?  When I went up the swiss alps as a kid. It was summer but up at the peak my dad says it was negative 20. Tbh that’s probably an exaggeration but it was still pretty damn cold.
46. Can you usually tell when someone has feelings for you?  Oh my god no. I am so oblivious to this. Like that time a guy was hitting on me in a restaurant in central america and it took me more than an hour to realise. People say latino guys are more direct but I still didn’t fucking notice
47. How often do you straighten your hair? I don’t think I ever have
48. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink? I had sips of beer and wine growing up but my first ever full alcohol beverage was a can of pre-mixed JD&coke. Or was it jim beam and coke? Idk. One of them.
49. Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep? I have sleeping pills and I used to take them sometimes when I did shift work but they ended up making me just as drowsy the next day as if I hadn’t slept so they aren’t really worth it unless I desperately need sleep and only have a certain amount of time before I have to go somewhere.
50. Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? Female. For invasive procedures and also a woman is more likely to actually listen if I’m telling them something is wrong.
51. What was the last thing you bought? Groceries 52. What is something you do every summer? Sweat, rack up a decent electricity bill from blasting my AC, sweat some more as soon as I go outside 53. Do you have a job? I’ll be working again in February. And then I’ll be my older brother’s boss. 54. When was the last time you ate pizza? No idea. A long time ago.
55. Do you live near a beach or amusement park? Beach is about 10-15 minutes walk. But I’ve never swam there 56. Have you ever failed a final exam? Yep. I did not enjoy or do well at uni. 57. Who would you be shocked to see call you? A dead person. 58. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? I’d rather they didn’t but I don’t care that much. 59. How old is the computer you’re on? Less than 2 years but it is structurally falling apart. I have to be careful how I pick it up or adjust the screen angle because I could literally just break the whole thing apart. I just need it to last a few more months until I can afford a better one. 60. What is your blood-type? O+ the same as my mum 61. Are you donating your organs? Not currently. I’d prefer to wait until I’m not using them 62. What is one show that is canceled that you wish was still on? The Bitch in Apartment 23
63. Have you made any life altering decisions lately? To go back to Australia, I guess. But it’s more of a necessity than a choice.
64. What is the closest store to you? The cornerstore is next door to my building on the right and a bar is on the left. 65. Do you have any songs currently stuck in your head? Yofo - Molotov 66. Where is the last place you applied for a job?  No idea. I applied to a lot. 67. Which continent would you most like to travel to and why? Aside from going back to Australia, the next place I go will probably be somewhere in Latin America again. There’s so much more to see there. 68. Are there a lot of tourists where you live? So goddamn many. It’s not so bad now that it’s winter but the summer was so hectic.
69. Do you have to use public transport often? Whenever I go somewhere that’s not walking distance. The metro system is really good here. 70. Does your house have an alarm? Why, you gonna try to break in? I’ll save you the effort, I have nothing of value aside from the $30USD on my shelf 71. Have you ever asked someone out on a date? Y'know I actually don’t think I have 72. Whose grave did you last visit? Oscar Wilde’s
73. How far out of your age bracket would you date? Ideally within about 5 years of me but I figure anything less than my parents’ age gap is passable (15 years)
74. Could you go a day without talking to the last person you kissed? I have gone many days without talking to him.
75. Do you like mac n cheese? It’s mediocre.
76. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I woke up at midday but then went back to sleep for another 2 hours.
77. Are you usually wide awake when you wake up? God no. 
78. How long have you known your first phone contact? Since May
79. Which would you rather play: guitar or drums? I can play both but I prefer drums
80. You can never drink tea again or soda. Which do you give up? I don’t drink tea anyway so that’s a pretty easy choice. Besides, I wouldn’t mix rum with tea.
81. Do you live in the past? What time travelling secret do you have that I don’t know about?
82. Do you think that black cats actually bring bad luck? the fact that I’d have just seen a cat would already be the result of good luck.
83. When’s the last time you went to a party? Absolutely no idea. A long time ago
84. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? Very much so.
85. If you got married to the last person you kissed would you be happy? Married is a bit much
86. Can you go a month without swearing? I really couldn’t. Swearing is an ingrained part of my vocabulary, thanks to working in the security industry for 3 years.
87. If you had a chance to make $200, only, by stripping for truckers on a corner, would you? Why do you all think $200 is a lot of money?
88. Would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? That’s more like it. Yes I would certainly consider it at least
89. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? A couple of pairs. Currently wearing one of them
90. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yep
91. How many pairs of Converse do you own? Three but one of them are pretty destroyed and should go in the bin.
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deadcactuswalking · 5 years ago
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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22nd September 2019
Our episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS today seems to be particularly focused on British hip hop as we have the fall-out from a busy week amongst five new arrivals, a good majority of them being from UK trap artists... as well as Ariana Grande, clearly my favourite grime MC. Without further ado, let’s review the charts.
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Top 10
For a fourth week, “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy, and remixed by Sir Spyro, Jaykae and Aitch, has a stronghold on the charts and honestly I haven’t bothered to listen to the song or its remix since it debuted; if it weren’t for the team-up of Ed and Stormzy this would be pretty unremarkable.
At our runner-up spot is the massive collaborative single, “Don’t Call Me Angel”, from three of 2019’s most interesting pop girls, Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey (All of which have released albums of varying quality this past year), for the soundtrack of the blockbuster reboot for Charlie’s Angels, debuting at number-two, just shy of Sheeran. Bear with me as there are a lot of arbitrary figures here: This is Grande’s 23rd UK Top 40 hit and her 15th Top 10, Cyrus’ 17th UK Top 40 hit and her fifth Top 10 as well as Lana Del Rey’s tenth UK Top 40 hit and fourth UK Top 10 hit – in fact, it’s Lana’s highest-peaking song ever, and first song to hit the Top 10 here in the UK since the remix of “Summertime Sadness” peaked at number-four in 2013. The UK loves these three, it’s a movie soundtrack single with a video, I’m not surprised it’s reached these heights of success – I’m just shocked it couldn’t hit the top spot, if I’m honest.
Now we can run through the rest of the top 10 pretty quickly: First of all, we have three consecutive songs with identical falls on this week’s chart. Down one space to number-three is “Taste (Make it Shake)” by Aitch.
Also down a single position at number-four is “Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston.
At number-five, similarly down one spot this week, is “Ladbroke Grave” by AJ Tracey.
Standing still since last week is the non-mover of “Sorry” by Joel Corry, featuring uncredited vocals from Hayley May, which at this point has probably surpassed initial Love Island fame at number-six.
Also not moving this week is “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike at number-seven.
At number-eight, down three spots thanks to alleviating hype for the Hollywood’s Bleeding album with impacted last week, is “Circles” by Post Malone, although this definitely won’t be the last we see of him this week.
At number-nine, down a spot from last week yet not down soon enough, is “RAN$OM” by Lil Tecca.
Also down one position, finally, we round off the top 10 with “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey and Aitch.
Climbers
There is one notable climber this week, and that is “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I up five positions to #14, very quickly gaining from its debut three weeks ago. “Outnumbered” by Dermot Kennedy is only up three spaces so wouldn’t be all that notable if it weren’t Kennedy’s first ever entry into the Top 20 of the UK Singles Chart. Otherwise, there’s nothing to speak of here.
Fallers
This category is a lot more plentiful. In reverse order of where they stand on the chart, we have “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus making its way out down six spots to #38, “Ritual” by Tiesto, Jonas Blue and Rita Ora perhaps prematurely making an exit down eight to #36, “Buss Down” by Aitch featuring ZieZie dropping down 14 spaces off of the debut to #35, “Sounds of the Skeng” by Stormzy also taking a hit immediately after debuting high up as it’s down 11 spots to #31, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello slowly winding down five spots to #19, and finally, also down five spaces to #15, we have “Goodbyes” by Post Malone featuring Young Thug, taking less of a hit than I expected off of the album impact last week.
Dropouts & Returning Entries
First of all, we have quite a few drop-outs considering there are five new songs debuting, the highest being “Hollywood’s Bleeding” by Post Malone off of the debut at #11. This is due to an arbitrary UK chart rule that only allows three songs by one artist on the chart at one time, and these have to be the highest-performing singles, hence, since the title track got trumped by another single in terms of popularity, it’s gone and probably won’t ever for another week as the debut from Post this week is already showing more longevity. Our drop-outs here are actually mostly massive smash hits that have been losing steam for a while and have just now dropped out after weeks on weeks of high performance. The first anomaly to this rule is “Lover” by Taylor Swift, after only five weeks on the chart, dropping out from #31 but it’ll probably be back soon enough. Otherwise, we have “So High” by MIST and Fredo out from #35, “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift out from #36, “bad guy” by Billie Eilish out from #37 and “Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi out from #39... as well as “Slide Away” by Miley Cyrus off of the debut last week, not picking up any steam at all which has me worried.
Uncommon for the UK Top 40, we have two returning entries. The first is “Lalala” by Y2K and bbno$ as I predicted, back to #40 after a particularly busy week pushed it out off of the debut. The second is “Panini” by Lil Nas X, propelled by both a futuristic, wonderfully cheesy video set in space as well as a remix with a feature from DaBaby, which honestly adds so much to the song and with the benefit of hindsight, his verse should have been there from the beginning. There’s also an “Official” music video for the remix featuring characters from Chowder which may or may not be legal but it’s hilarious.
Oh, and I feel I should add that Hypersonic Missiles by Sam Fender, the #1 album on the UK Albums Chart this week, has three songs outside of the Top 40 similarly to Lana’s last week, with “Will We Talk” up 15 spaces to #43, the title track re-entering the chart at #48, and a debut for “The Borders” at #59. Anyways, onwards with the show.
NEW ARRIVALS
#37 – “Wiley Flow” – Stormzy
Produced by EY, AdotSkitz and Illmind
Stormzy is releasing a fourth single from the still unnamed and unannounced album, the week after “Sounds of the Skeng”, with a second throwback-type single, which has me worried for the album in all honesty as it’s looking somewhat rushed so far and I loved Gang Signs & Prayer but it did suffer some filler, which “Wiley Flow” may just be an example of. Regardless, it’s his 18th UK Top 40 hit, and don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad at all, but it does feel like a re-tread of “Vossi Bop”. It starts with a menacing synth loop that may be a sample, but it has a pitch stretch at the end of the loop which seems like a cop-out as it does not add to the beat really, it doesn’t work as hypnotic as Stormzy’s stilted flow here isn’t exactly catchy, relaxed or even smooth, relying on more typical Western trap flows while the loop cuts out for more bass-rattling trap but... the ”hook” of sorts is boring and repetitive, doesn’t end properly but sounds really off rather than effective. The second verse is slightly better, I mean—
If you ain’t got more than five top tens, then I don’t want to hear no chat about charting
Uh... Well, then. I think I’ll skip this one, I mean, this isn’t a great song but Stormzy’s still pretty intimidating, I mean, damn, I better shut up. Please don’t kill me Stor—
We here at Sudnay Salad have received a statement from cactus’ estate announcing her untimely murder at age withheld. Rumours say she was the victim of a secret hitman order placed by famous British rapper Michael Owuo Jr., more well known as Stormzy.
#24 – “Professor X” – Dave
Produced by Dave
Now, there was an album bomb of sorts this week that wasn’t Sam Fender, yet neither Fender or this bomb had any impact on the Top 40. That album bomb was for the soundtrack to gritty street drama Top Boy, rebooted and continued by Netflix... and soundtracked by Drake leeching off of British hip hop as he’s been doing for the past few years, with his only contribution being a freestyle from 2018 on Link Up TV, with a tad more reverb. It’s a lazy compilation on Drake’s part, but he didn’t choose awful rappers at all, I mean, there are songs with Fredo and Little Simz, who had an amazing album you should check out that was released this year, GREY AREA, as well as AJ Tracey, Headie One, Nafe Smallz and two songs by Dave. The Drake freestyle, “Behind Barz”, debuted second-highest at #51, Fredo’s “Freddy” debuted at #53 and since technically this isn’t a singular artist’s album, it’s not affected by the chart rule restricting the songs debuting to the three biggest, meaning “Elastic” by AJ Tracey also debuted at #63. One of two singles by Dave from the soundtrack, the other being “God’s Eye”, landed at the Top 40 despite being the seventh song on the album and having no single push whatsoever. Anyway, it’s Dave’s 13th UK Top 40, and it sure is... okay? The strummed guitar is actually pretty intimidating but the lyrics aren’t at all so that doesn’t work. The trap percussion with the intense sub-bass kicking in during the first verse as well as the sweet vocal samples and strings makes for a pretty cool beat, actually, but Dave doesn’t say much of interest or include some cool wordplay... and all of this seems more like a demo for “Streatham” from Psychodrama – the flow is exactly the same for most of it, although this is the typical “Dave flow”... but then at the end of the first verse, he has the exact same flow switch that worked so well into the bass launching in the middle of the second verse on that song, but here it just leads to a half-chorus and a brief interlude from what I’m assuming is Top Boy. It kind of cheapens “Streatham”, which is still a fantastic song, although the second verse is better and I’m not going to lie and say the hook isn’t pretty catchy. Otherwise, this is one of the worst songs I’ve heard from Dave in a while, and is relatively uninteresting in all factors.
#22 – “Take What You Want” – Post Malone featuring Travis Scott and Ozzy Osbourne
Produced by watt and Louis Bell – Peaked at #6 in Hungary and #8 in the US
Yeah, I did a double-take the first time I saw that listed on Spotify too. Since “Hollywood’s Bleeding” debuted last week, it has faltered in popularity, meaning arbitrary UK chart rules let this song chart, and oh, my God, I wish it charted sooner because this is easily one of the best songs on that Hollywood’s Bleeding album, right next to “Sunflower”, my personal favourite “Goodbyes” and what I think is the best deep cut, “Allergic” (Although that seems to be one of the least popular efforts from Post here). I’m not even sure what to say about it, to be honest, everything just meshes perfectly into place. This is Post Malone’s 13th UK Top 40 hit and Travis Scott’s eighth, as well as being Ozzy Osbourne’s ninth (Not counting Black Sabbath), and first UK hit since “Changes” with his daughter Kelly Osbourne hit #1 in 2001, more than 18 years ago – although in the US, Ozzy had a 20+ year lack of charting singles until “Take What You Want”. I feel I’m going to ramble on about this song but, God, it is near-perfect. It starts with a slick, processed, slightly downtuned acoustic guitar amidst creepy harmonised ad-libs from Post and Ozzy, before the sub-bass kicks in and Ozzy Osbourne sounds fantastic over looming 808s with his ominous, trembling voice, which sounds quite delicate and melodic here, a sharp contrast from the early metal sound of Black Sabbath but not unfound territory for the singer. The poetic lyrics are brutal and are a knee-jerk reaction to a break-up, where Ozzy and Post feel lost and clueless, like they’ve been sucked dry, and Post comes in with a pretty subdued flow initially, but then starts belting against a peaking mix, distorted bass and some low electric guitar (That’ll come back again, much more forward in the mix however...). Post’s warbling in the chorus arguably sounds better than Ozzy, especially when that crash of the kick drum comes in and the intensity is amped up to 100%... only for it to collapse, to make space for Travis Scott. Now, remember when I said this song was near-perfect? Well, I initially really didn’t like Travis’ verse here but it has grown on me immensely. Even if his content is nonexistent, Travis’ sour bitterness is lethal, talking about using the power given to him by his ex’s insults to make chains as well as almost threatening her at the end of the verse, saying that no matter where he goes, he’ll never be alone, but this woman is just completely isolated without him. It’s almost like he lives in some sort of primitive patriarchal society within his mind, and that’s completely fair, as not only would someone suffering from a brutal break-up be this self-indulgent but also he sounds fantastic saying it, with the distorted Auto-Tune drenched in reverb hitting in a similar way to Kanye on 808s & Heartbreak. The pre-chorus, also delivered by Travis, is just a bunch of manic thoughts vaguely resembling “rapper activities” collected into somewhat of a rhythmic pattern, and that’s how Travis feels - he is a bunch of words compiled with no rhyme or reason as he’s left fragmented and sour about the relationship. The final chorus is an awesome harmony from Ozzy and Post – they sound surprisingly great together, but slowly and slowly you hear those guitar riffs in the midst of trap percussion... which cuts out for an excellent guitar solo, with surprisingly technical skill and it works astonishingly well on the trap beat, especially when it elevates with repetitive ad-libs from both singers amplifying the chaos, just to slow down and end abruptly... much like the relationship. Funny how that works out. This is a fantastic song, everyone kills it from Post to Ozzy to Travis to uncredited producer-guitar man (that’s Andrew Watt, by the way), and that’s all I can say really.
#16 – “Nookie” – D-Block Europe featuring Lil Baby
Produced by Nathaniel London
So, funny story, I saw this song blow up in real time because for some reason “#LilBaby” was trending on Twitter in the UK and I was so confused because Lil Baby isn’t that big here. Turns out he had a feature on a D-Block Europe song... but so did Offset, and that track completely flopped so I didn’t expect this to go anywhere. Now I see the chart and it’s D-Block Europe’s fourth UK Top 40 hit and their third Top 20 hit, tied for their highest peaking song ever with “Kitchen Kings” from a couple months ago and Lil Baby’s highest-peaking song and first ever Top 20 here in the UK (“Drip Too Hard” with Gunna did chart at like #26 last year, however). I guess that’s just how awful I am at speculating. Most of the Tweets I saw with that hashtag were about how Lil Baby bodied the song and outshone Young Adz, the breakout star of the group, who ends up sharing a verse with the other member, Dirtbike LB. Dirtbike doesn’t handle the chorus or even most of his verse, so essentially this is a song by Young Adz and Lil Baby from the upcoming D-Block album PTSD and... it’s not as bad as it usually is from these guys, but that’s mostly because Lil Baby kills it here. I never liked the guy and I still don’t think I’ll like him in the future, but I have seen improvements. He tried to hold his own on “Baby” with DaBaby, had a pretty good verse on Young Thug’s “Bad Bad Bad” from So Much Fun and his verse here is not the first set of bars that I’ve heard from him I’d consider actually pretty good, although I’ll always personally prefer Gunna. Does he have interesting content in all his gunplay and shallow flexing? Not exactly, but he has some relatively funny punchlines here and there, referencing Lil Keed and mostly sticking out for how odd they are, we’ll get to funny lyrics in a second (We always do with these dudes). His flow is outstanding, especially for Lil Baby standards and picks up the pace and momentum of the song immensely, which had only been a Young Adz hook at this point, to the point where when he’s not on the song, it’s a pretty empty song, because it’s just a vaguely rural flute and guitar-lead trap beat with some ugly snares, 808s and farting synths behind a cheap trap skitter, as well as the awful Auto-Tune added to Young Adz that sounds awful as always, but Lil Baby actually has some energy for once, and the cheap, ear-ringing hi-hats being so monotonous when they rapidly skitter during his verse is pretty clever, and his climax of the verse as he slowly gets angrier would work if this was a competent beat. As for lyrics, well, sorry for expanding this song review for more it’s worth, but as with all D-Block Europe songs... we have a showcase for you.
Treat the p***y right, that’s good nookie (That’s good nookie) / Keep killers ‘round me, that’s how it should be (That’s how it should be, yea)
I think I’ve said this before but Young Adz is not very convincing when he’s talking about sex and violence because his delivery is so naive and childish... and sometimes his lyrics are too.
Should-a, would-a, could-a, [gnarly dude] just could be (Just could be)
Or they’re complete word salad. It’s always one of the two.
Yeah, you know the vibe
Not at all.
Yeah, just spoke to my Imam and he said I can get five wives
Okay, if you don’t know, an Imam is basically fulfilling the job of a Christian reverend in a mosque, and apparently the Quran accepts monogamy and polygamy. The more you know, but 1.) that could be wildly disrespectful, I wouldn’t know how to feel as a Muslim in response to that for obvious reasons and 2.) this is also wildly irrelevant.
Onto Lil Baby’s verse and honestly, his punchlines are a lot better because he just has a bunch of non-sequiturs and they seem intentionally funny rather than just missing the mark, like these lines:
Rolls Royce truck come through, that’s anus / Audemars Piguet, Rolex, both stainless
It’s almost like a comedy skit as he says something random or nonsensical then just completely switches topic to something more straightforward and this happens bar after bar.
Steering ‘round the way, I forgot that I’m famous
How? There’s one line here that is actually really clever, where he interpolates “No Guidance” by Chris Brown as if he’s going to start serenading or flowing more melodically, but then cancels himself out completely, interrupting himself so it almost sounds off-beat even, and it was pretty funny on first listen thanks to his delivery.
You got it, girl—I ain’t givin’ her my last name
Lamborghini truck, it got me speeding ‘round the fast lane / Thinking ‘bout the time I hid my bottle in the trash can
...I can’t find a single explanation for what that second line means and I love that.
I’m from South London... Hit a [gnarly dude] up, night-night, now it’s Church somethin’
You’re praying for him after you kill him, right? So you can just have a harsh rhyme with “now I’m prayin’ for him” instead of “Church somethin’”... but surely, Young Adz cares dearly about how his rhymes connect, I mean, he has an internal rhyme in the chorus rhyming “blending” with “blender”.
I’ll eat that p***y in Mayfair
To be fair, saying you’ll desecrate the most expensive property square on London Monopoly is a pretty big flex. Sigh, after re-listening to pick up these lines, the beat is just really incompetent and everything sounds so disjointed. Even Lil Baby’s verse, which I quite liked, suffers from the same issues and Lord forbid these guys have chemistry. Good Lil Baby verse, but this really isn’t worth yourtime.
#2 – “Don’t Call Me Angel” – Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey
Produced by Max Martin and Ilya – Peaked at #1 in Greece, Hungary and Scotland, and #13 in the US
Now the song that probably deserves more of my attention, the new blockbuster soundtrack single, blah-blah-blah. We went through this already in the Top 10/pre-amble, so there are no reasons to cobble on here as well, let’s get to the song and yeah, put everything else about it aside, this is a pretty decent song. The tribal yet almost melody-box sing-songy melody not having a build-up at all and instead just dropping immediately into the hard bass-heavy trap beat is a pretty good idea and I enjoy the concept of having Ariana, Miley and Lana, three powerful women in the music industry, rejecting purity and asking for men not to call them “angels”, as these are Charlie’s angels, violent, athletic spies in pretty casual clothing, baring weapons at all times; it’s actually pretty impressive how all three singers here emulate the characters from the soundtrack as you’d figure with enough starpower this would be pretty disconnected from the film. All three stick in their little niche realms as well, with Ariana cooing on the chorus with some background belting and pretty Heavenly backing (Pun very intended), as well as subdued Auto-Tuned ad-libs during her verse. You’ve got Miley rapping in a country twang and I’m not going to lie, her verse is really disjointed and could have just not been there, but I do appreciate what it adds to the aggressiveness to the song. The way the beat just drops out entirely and switches to a more atmospheric synth soundscape with a ticking EQ’d out of existence drum beat for Lana Del Rey’s passive-aggressive bridge is great, although I’d like Lana to be a bit more involved, although her sole verse and involvement is probably for the best as her lines are the most powerful and striking here, with the line “I fell from Heaven, now I’m living like a devil” particularly standing out. In conclusion, this is a pretty genuinely great collaboration from the three girls, although Miley’s contributions I’m still unsure on and I feel there’s some empty space in the verses overall, but that chorus is killer, so it’s a pretty cool song and I’m not complaining it’s this high (Even though it’s probably not for long).
Conclusion
The Best of the Week is easily going to Post Malone, Travis Scott, Ozzy Osbourne and watt for “Take What You Want” and it’s not even close, but I’ll give Honourable Mention to Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey’s “Don’t Call Me Angel”. There’s nothing that is exactly all that bad here other than the trainwreck that is D-Block Europe and Lil Baby’s “Nookie”, which makes them the recipients of Worst of the Week. I regret saying this because I do like Dave but he’s getting the Dishonourable Mention for “Professor X” and that’s all for now. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!
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felisfire-blog · 7 years ago
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Exhibit B
[2/13/2016 6:37:10 PM] ...: It didn't take long. [2/13/2016 6:46:45 PM] ...: Why is Luna demoted? [2/13/2016 6:47:36 PM] Ghoul: It will be discussed at the next meeting. She's temporarily demoted. [2/13/2016 6:47:43 PM] ...: Why? [2/13/2016 6:48:10 PM] Ghoul: Lyro wants all of staff to discuss it. [2/13/2016 6:48:30 PM] ...: Yes but what did she do to be demoted? [2/13/2016 6:48:56 PM] ...: It can still be discussed at the meeting but you can't just demote someone and not tell them what they did to deserve it. [2/13/2016 6:49:04 PM] Ghoul: I did. [2/13/2016 6:49:04 PM] ...: That in and of itself is an abuse of power. [2/13/2016 6:49:18 PM] Ghoul: That's exactly what it's over. [2/13/2016 6:49:24 PM] Ghoul: Her abusing her staff powers. [2/13/2016 6:49:31 PM] ...: Yes but what did she do to abuse her staff powers? [2/13/2016 6:49:34 PM] Ghoul: If you have a problem with it talk to Lyro. [2/13/2016 6:49:40 PM] ...: Lyro's not answering me [2/13/2016 6:49:44 PM] ...: And you apparently know [2/13/2016 6:49:44 PM] ...: so [2/13/2016 6:49:46 PM] Ghoul: Me neither. [2/13/2016 6:49:54 PM] ...: So you don't know? [2/13/2016 6:50:08 PM] Ghoul: I know but it needs to wait until more staff are present to discuss it. [2/13/2016 6:50:25 PM] Ghoul: Lyro wants us to talk about it at the meeting. [2/13/2016 6:50:31 PM] TIME4BUENO: I think if Lyro said when we'll be discussing it we need to follow what he says since he's our boss and just wait 'til then. [2/13/2016 6:50:45 PM] Ghoul: [Friday, February 12, 2016 11:27 PM] Chibi Lyro:
<<< I am thinking remove staff powers and then discuss it at the meeting Sunday? Like why it happened and what staffs thoughts are on it? [2/13/2016 6:50:54 PM] Ghoul: There ya go. [2/13/2016 6:51:19 PM] ...: Yes but what did she do to deserve that.  You can't just say 'abused powers' without saying what abuse happened. [2/13/2016 6:51:39 PM] ...: I want to know what she did that abused her powers. [2/13/2016 6:52:04 PM] Feeshy: Honestly... I think you should at least talk to Luna to let her know what she's done. It might all be a misunderstanding or something. ^-^' I think it's much better protocol to be open and talk to her. If I woke up one day and found my staff powers gone and didn't know why, to be honest, I'd probably start to hate you guys and the site. [2/13/2016 6:57:59 PM] Ghoul: If you have a problem with it bring it up to Lyro. I talked to him as Sub-HA and he talked to me as HA I'm doing what he wanted me to do. If anything accusing me of abusing my power when I'm doing what I was told is disrespectful. I've said and stated several times that it will be discussed simply not now. I told her that it came to our attention that she was abusing power and that she was temporarily demoted. I told her that it was over her abusing her powers. If you don't believe me I can just go screenies of me talking to her over this. [2/13/2016 6:58:01 PM] Ghoul:  I'm tired of everyone making me out to be the bad guy when I'm simply doing as requested or told and then no one respects me as Sub-Ha and just goes straight to Lyro. I'm tired and I'm sick of it and I feel like absolutely none of you here respect me. I'm sorry but that's exactly what it feels like. [2/13/2016 7:00:52 PM] ...: Well you're not active so... yeah I don't really respect you as sub-HA.  There you go. [2/13/2016 7:01:06 PM] ...: I'll talk to Lyro about it. [2/13/2016 7:02:03 PM] TIME4BUENO: Guys I really think we need just respect what Lyro and Sy have said and not fight. We've talked about this at meetings, this divide. We need to quit perpetuating it. [2/13/2016 7:03:55 PM] ...: Well this whole communication thing?  I'm pretty sure that this keeping secrets and stuff is pretty much what we were discussing.  The whole communication aspect breaking down between staff where Lyro and apparently Sy knows what's happening but the rest of us including the person involved does not. [2/13/2016 7:04:48 PM] TIME4BUENO: We're not eternally in the dark though Cat? It's literally been scheduled for the meeting, like we are going to be told, and Luna has as well so I think you need to really respect them as our bosses. [2/13/2016 7:05:14 PM] ...: Respect is earned, not given. [2/13/2016 7:05:16 PM] Feeshy: I merely provided a viable alternative that I feel would be much better than leaving Luna high and dry. I'm sorry you feel that way Sy, and by no means do I feel you are the bad guy. I think that by using this method, you're alienating Luna, especially if it is a temporary dismissal - I worry that this will make her not want to come back, and I don't feel we can lose an active staff member for something that can be fixed by being open. I'm trying to provide constructive criticism, so I apologize if you feel I'm ganging up on you.  I don't think what Lyro said had anything in it about not telling Luna the specifics (if he did, no need to screenie it).  I will let it drop here as you wish. [2/13/2016 7:05:16 PM] TIME4BUENO: I know she's your friend but if you can't look at it without a bias then maybe you should take some time away from the issue? Just so you don't make any brash decisions. [2/13/2016 7:06:09 PM] ...: This has nothing to do with who I am friends with.  This has to do with the fact someone was just demoted without knowing the full reason as to why they were demoted. [2/13/2016 7:06:16 PM] ...: And that doesn't sit well with me. [2/13/2016 7:06:24 PM] ...: I don't care who gave the order. [2/13/2016 7:06:33 PM] TIME4BUENO: She was told, as Sy has said. We need to respect Lyro and Sy's decision. [2/13/2016 7:06:39 PM] ...: And I will be talking to Lyro about this when he answers me. [2/13/2016 7:07:32 PM] TIME4BUENO: Cat you're being incredibly brash, I really think you need to take time away from the issue. You're running on too much emotion. Nothing good comes of acting purely out of emotion. [2/13/2016 7:08:04 PM] ...: I'm not being emotional I'm telling it how it is. [2/13/2016 7:09:12 PM] TIME4BUENO: You're getting mad and disrespecting our higher ups, though. It's really emotionally charged. We need to respect their decision as our Head Admins and wait to hear the full story. Sy's stated we'll know next meeting. It's only fair we wait for the scheduled time since they likely picked it for a reason. [2/13/2016 7:09:23 PM] TIME4BUENO: If you don't respect Sy, at least respect Lyro's decision. [2/13/2016 7:09:31 PM] Ghoul: If you need me for something have Sin text me. [2/13/2016 7:10:09 PM] ...: Whatever.  I'll talk to Lyro. [2/13/2016 7:10:49 PM] Synthetic Shovel ✔: I agree that she has a right to know what she did, I personally would take that worse than the temporary dismissal, but at the same time, Lyro and Sy have said how it's gonna be, whether you respect Syachi or not, you need to accept that decision because they are our bosses.
Respectfully, if you'd phrased it in terms of a request Sy wouldn't have gotten his back up. Instead of asking him to talk to Lyro about letting Luna know you undercut both of their authority by ignoring it.
All the same, a week is a long time to let someone stew over something, if I found myself in the same position that's not how I would want things handled. [2/13/2016 7:11:54 PM] ...: I agree with what you said Omi. [2/13/2016 7:12:48 PM | Edited 7:13:05 PM] ...: Mainly the fact that if I found myself in that situation I would want to know.  But I don't really care at this point.  If this is the way that things are going to be handled I'm going to re-consider my position here on Felisfire. [2/13/2016 7:13:35 PM] TIME4BUENO: Sy literally has only done what Lyro told him to from what he's said so you all getting angry at him are just shooting the messenger. This criticism could have been much more professional, like how Feesh further explained what she meant. [2/13/2016 7:16:25 PM] Synthetic Shovel ✔: Either way, I think you owe Syachi an apology Cat, brashness is fine, but not if you're sacrificing politeness for it, we all still have to work together and what you said was harsh and unfair. [2/13/2016 8:54:28 PM] Chibi Lyro: Oh boy... Give me a moment to catch up. [2/13/2016 11:38:54 PM] *** ... has left ***
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leahbeers · 7 years ago
Text
Mail happy on Mothers Day put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum
Let’s face it, we’ll all be searching online for inspiration for that number 1 gift mum would be proud of this Mother’s Day (in one capacity or another) – but have you stopped to consider how your customers would feel if their beloved mums were to receive their gift either smashed, damaged, late with additional postal charges or have to collect their gift from a depot 10 miles up the road? Remember, that number one gift for Mum on Mother’s Day is a great way to say “I love you and I’m thankful for you” whereas the aforementioned failed delivery is a great way to say “I want a refund, a replacement product and a huge apology!”. You don’t want to be remembered for years to come as “that brand that ruined my mum’s special day”.
Mums deserve better!
Don’t be cheap or lazy when it comes to packaging your customers’ orders destined for proud mothers everywhere. Use packaging that will make Mum proud and shed a tear at how thoughtful and generous her children are. Mothers Day is a BIG revenue earner on the internet. If you’re in the business of selling and posting out gifts, cosmetics, fashion and fashion accessories, cards, flowers, experience days, meals out and much more – then you might want to read on!
Mums vs Dads – no competition (statistically speaking)
According to the Telegraph & VoucherCodesPro, our dear Mums are three times as valuable to internet retailers as our poor old Dads are. The average spend being around £30, it seems that mothers day presents of choice are flowers, chocolates, alcohol, beauty treatments or (as 39% of gents will probably agree) – just a card. In contrast, Dads generally get a DVD, alcohol, a gift voucher, or chocolate. Is this karmic justice for all of those forgotten anniversaries? Let’s not digress …
Some fun stats for Mothers Day 2018
Over 1/3 of Brits said that their mum was the most inspirational person in their life. (Cue warm fuzzy feeling…)
1/2 of Brits believe that they’re turning into their mums… (She’s great, but I really hope not.)
…and that this occurs when they utter the most-voted mum phrase, “What did your last slave die of?!” (Cringe.)
91% of mums said that they would prefer an iPad over flowers. (This is why our mailbox range, and our breezebox range are in demand this year!)
81% are likely to look for a discount or a voucher on Mother’s Day! (Remember, great offers do not benefit from sub-standard postal packaging…)
The average spend on a present for mum is £27.37 (Expensive enough to need protecting with good packaging in the mail.)
1/5 of mums received no gifts for Mother’s Day last year – sort it out, guys! (Guilty your honour.)
There are around 30 million cards sent for mothers around Mothering Sunday. (Our envelope range can protect them properly.)
Half of us will send our mum a Facebook message instead of a card. (Don’t mothers deserve better?)
The world’s most prolific mother was the Russian Mrs. Vassilyev, who had 69 children in 27 pregnancies. She had no single births, but multiple sets of twins, triplets and quadruplets.
Mother’s Day spending stats in a big, pretty infographic
Because we all love pictures, right? We’re leading the pack in terms of parental inequality (being a dad myself, I know this to be true – I’m so far down the pecking order that there are days where I am jealous of our pet rabbits) – as mentioned above, Mother’s Day UK really does fuel consumer spending up to three times higher than Father’s Day. Check out the global shopping trends infographic released by Rakuten, the 3rd largest e-commerce marketplace in the world and owner of UK’s play.com website (BTW – the French have it right!).
Tumblr media
 Whatever you’re packing for Mother’s Day 2018 – be sure to send it out with as much love and care as your mum gave you when she sent you out into the big wide world! That is unless your mother is akin to any that feature on the top 41 worst parents in Disney, in which case just use one of our mailers and follow our guide above and you’ll be a winner!
Feature Photo by Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash
SaveSave
The post Mail happy on Mothers Day – put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum appeared first on Lil Packaging.
Mail happy on Mothers Day – put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum posted first on https://www.lilpackaging.com/ via Blogger Mail happy on Mothers Day – put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum
Mail happy on Mothers Day put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum syndicated from https://www.lilpackaging.com/
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pamelahetrick · 7 years ago
Text
Mail happy on Mothers Day put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum
Let’s face it, we’ll all be searching online for inspiration for that number 1 gift mum would be proud of this Mother’s Day (in one capacity or another) – but have you stopped to consider how your customers would feel if their beloved mums were to receive their gift either smashed, damaged, late with additional postal charges or have to collect their gift from a depot 10 miles up the road? Remember, that number one gift for Mum on Mother’s Day is a great way to say “I love you and I’m thankful for you” whereas the aforementioned failed delivery is a great way to say “I want a refund, a replacement product and a huge apology!”. You don’t want to be remembered for years to come as “that brand that ruined my mum’s special day”.
Mums deserve better!
Don’t be cheap or lazy when it comes to packaging your customers’ orders destined for proud mothers everywhere. Use packaging that will make Mum proud and shed a tear at how thoughtful and generous her children are. Mothers Day is a BIG revenue earner on the internet. If you’re in the business of selling and posting out gifts, cosmetics, fashion and fashion accessories, cards, flowers, experience days, meals out and much more – then you might want to read on!
Mums vs Dads – no competition (statistically speaking)
According to the Telegraph & VoucherCodesPro, our dear Mums are three times as valuable to internet retailers as our poor old Dads are. The average spend being around £30, it seems that mothers day presents of choice are flowers, chocolates, alcohol, beauty treatments or (as 39% of gents will probably agree) – just a card. In contrast, Dads generally get a DVD, alcohol, a gift voucher, or chocolate. Is this karmic justice for all of those forgotten anniversaries? Let’s not digress …
Some fun stats for Mothers Day 2018
Over 1/3 of Brits said that their mum was the most inspirational person in their life. (Cue warm fuzzy feeling…)
1/2 of Brits believe that they’re turning into their mums… (She’s great, but I really hope not.)
…and that this occurs when they utter the most-voted mum phrase, “What did your last slave die of?!” (Cringe.)
91% of mums said that they would prefer an iPad over flowers. (This is why our mailbox range, and our breezebox range are in demand this year!)
81% are likely to look for a discount or a voucher on Mother’s Day! (Remember, great offers do not benefit from sub-standard postal packaging…)
The average spend on a present for mum is £27.37 (Expensive enough to need protecting with good packaging in the mail.)
1/5 of mums received no gifts for Mother’s Day last year – sort it out, guys! (Guilty your honour.)
There are around 30 million cards sent for mothers around Mothering Sunday. (Our envelope range can protect them properly.)
Half of us will send our mum a Facebook message instead of a card. (Don’t mothers deserve better?)
The world’s most prolific mother was the Russian Mrs. Vassilyev, who had 69 children in 27 pregnancies. She had no single births, but multiple sets of twins, triplets and quadruplets.
Mother’s Day spending stats in a big, pretty infographic
Because we all love pictures, right? We’re leading the pack in terms of parental inequality (being a dad myself, I know this to be true – I’m so far down the pecking order that there are days where I am jealous of our pet rabbits) – as mentioned above, Mother’s Day UK really does fuel consumer spending up to three times higher than Father’s Day. Check out the global shopping trends infographic released by Rakuten, the 3rd largest e-commerce marketplace in the world and owner of UK’s play.com website (BTW – the French have it right!).
Tumblr media
 Whatever you’re packing for Mother’s Day 2018 – be sure to send it out with as much love and care as your mum gave you when she sent you out into the big wide world! That is unless your mother is akin to any that feature on the top 41 worst parents in Disney, in which case just use one of our mailers and follow our guide above and you’ll be a winner!
Feature Photo by Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash
SaveSave
The post Mail happy on Mothers Day – put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum appeared first on Lil Packaging.
via Blogger Mail happy on Mothers Day – put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum
Mail happy on Mothers Day put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum syndicated from https://www.lilpackaging.com/
Mail happy on Mothers Day put some thought into mailing your number 1 gift for mum syndicated from https://www.lilpackaging.com/
0 notes
thehierophage · 5 years ago
Text
Holy Day Meditation for April 9, 2020 æ.v., the Feast for the Second Day of the Writing of the Book of the Law
April 9, 2020 æ.v. Dies Jovis, Sol 20° Aries, Luna 10° Scorpio An Vvi æ.n.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The Feast for the Second Day of the Writing of the Book of the Law, The Greater Feast of Saint Rabelais, The Greater Feast of Saint Francis Bacon Lord Verulam, The Day of Beth, The Day of the Magician
Hebrew Letter: Beth
Numerical Value as Letter: 2
Numerical Value as Word: 412 (Beth+Yod+Tav)
Meaning: House.
Thoth Card: The Magus (Atu I)
Alternate Title: The Magus of Power.
Image:
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Correspondences:
Tree of Life Path Association: Key 12 - Binah to Kether (from Sephira 3-1)
Astrological Sign: Mercury
Element: -
Egyptian Godforms: Thoth, Seshat, Imhotep (deified) and Cynocephalus
Geomantic Figure: Octagram
Gemstones: Achates/Agate, Opal
Perfumes: Mastic, Mace, Storax, Nutmeg, Euphorbium, Karaya, and all fleeting odors
Plants: Nutmeg, Vervain, Ash, Herb Mercury, Palm, Arnica, Mullein, Cinquefoil
Animals:Dog, Mullet, Monkey, Jackal, Cynocephalus ape, Civet cat, Weasel, Bee, Hybrids, Fish
Colors:
King Scale – Yellow 
Queen Scale – Purple 
Prince Scale – Grey 
Princess Scale – Indigo, rayed violet
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The Secret Instruction of the Master:
The True Self is the meaning of the True Will: know Thyself through Thy Way! Calculate well the Formula of Thy Way! Create freely; absorb joyously; divide intently; consolidate completely. Work thou, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent, in and for Eternity.
Mnemonic:
The Word of Wisdom weaves the web of lies, 
Weds irreducible Infinities.
Liber Arcanorum Verse:
1. The lightnings increased and the Lord Tahuti stood forth. The Voice came from the Silence. Then the One ran and returned.
Genius of the House of Mercury:
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Beعθaoooabitom
Genius of the Prison of the Qliphoth:
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Baratchial
Recommended Text for Meditation:
Liber AL vel Legis sub figura CCXX, Cap. 2
The Book of the Law Liber AL vel Legis sub figura CCXX
as delivered by XCIII = 418 to DCLXVI
II
1. Nu! the hiding of Hadit.
2. Come! all ye, and learn the secret that hath not yet been revealed. I, Hadit, am the complement of Nu, my bride. I am not extended, and Khabs is the name of my House.
3. In the sphere I am everywhere the centre, as she, the circumference, is nowhere found.
4. Yet she shall be known & I never.
5. Behold! the rituals of the old time are black. Let the evil ones be cast away; let the good ones be purged by the prophet! Then shall this Knowledge go aright.
6. I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. I am Life, and the giver of Life, yet therefore is theknowledge of me the knowledge of death.
7. I am the Magician and the Exorcist. I am the axle of the wheel, and the cube in the circle. "Come unto me" is a foolish word: for it is I that go.
8. Who worshipped Heru-pa-kraath have worshipped me; ill, for I am the worshipper.
9. Remember all ye that existence is pure joy; that all the sorrows are but as shadows; they pass & are done; but there is that which remains.
10. O prophet! thou hast ill will to learn this writing.
11. I see thee hate the hand & the pen; but I am stronger.
12. Because of me in Thee which thou knewest not.
13. for why? Because thou wast the knower, and me.
14. Now let there be a veiling of this shrine: now let the light devour men and eat them up with blindness!
15. For I am perfect, being Not; and my number is nine by the fools; but with the just I am eight, and one in eight: Which is vital, for I am none indeed. The Empress and the King are not of me; for there is a further secret.
16. I am The Empress & the Hierophant. Thus eleven, as my bride is eleven.
17. Hear me, ye people of sighing!
The sorrows of pain and regret
Are left to the dead and the dying,
The folk that not know me as yet.
18. These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not for the poor and sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk.
19. Is a God to live in a dog? No! but the highest are of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen: who sorroweth is not of us.
20. Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us.
21. We have nothing with the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. For they feel not. Compassion is the vice of kings: stamp down the wretched & the weak: this is the law of the strong: this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not, o king, upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. Now let it be understood: If the body of the King dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever. Nuit! Hadit! Ra-Hoor-Khuit! The Sun, Strength & Sight, Light; these are for the servants of the Star & the Snake.
22. I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge & Delight and bright glory, and stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, & be drunk thereof! They shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, o man! lust, enjoy all things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for this.
23. I am alone: there is no God where I am.
24. Behold! these be grave mysteries; for there are also of my friends who be hermits. Now think not to find them in the forest or on the mountain; but in beds of purple, caressed by magnificent beasts of women with large limbs, and fire and light in their eyes, and masses of flaming hair about them; there shall ye find them. Ye shall see them at rule, at victorious armies, at all the joy; and there shall be in them a joy a million times greater than this. Beware lest any force another, King against King! Love one another with burning hearts; on the low men trample in the fierce lust of your pride, in the day of your wrath.
25. Ye are against the people, O my chosen!
26. I am the secret Serpent coiled about to spring: in my coiling there is joy. If I lift up my head, I and my Nuit are one. If I droop down mine head, and shoot forth venom, then is rapture of the earth, and I and the earth are one.
27. There is great danger in me; for who doth not understand these runes shall make a great miss. He shall fall down into the pit called Because, and there he shall perish with the dogs of Reason.
28. Now a curse upon Because and his kin!
29. May Because be accursed for ever!
30. If Will stops and cries Why, invoking Because, then Will stops & does nought.
31. If Power asks why, then is Power weakness.
32. Also reason is a lie; for there is a factor infinite & unknown; & all their words are skew-wise.
33. Enough of Because! Be he damned for a dog!
34. But ye, o my people, rise up & awake!
35. Let the rituals be rightly performed with joy & beauty!
36. There are rituals of the elements and feasts of the times.
37. A feast for the first night of the Prophet and his Bride!
38. A feast for the three days of the writing of the Book of the Law.
39. A feast for Tahuti and the child of the Prophet--secret, O Prophet!
40. A feast for the Supreme Ritual, and a feast for the Equinox of the Gods.
41. A feast for fire and a feast for water; a feast for life and a greater feast for death!
42. A feast every day in your hearts in the joy of my rapture!
43. A feast every night unto Nu, and the pleasure of uttermost delight!
44. Aye! feast! rejoice! there is no dread hereafter. There is the dissolution, and eternal ecstasy in the kisses of Nu.
45. There is death for the dogs.
46. Dost thou fail? Art thou sorry? Is fear in thine heart?
47. Where I am these are not.
48. Pity not the fallen! I never knew them. I am not for them. I console not: I hate the consoled & the consoler.
49. I am unique & conqueror. I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! Amen. (This is of the 4: there is a fifth who is invisible, & therein am I as a babe in an egg. )
50. Blue am I and gold in the light of my bride: but the red gleam is in my eyes; & my spangles are purple & green.
51. Purple beyond purple: it is the light higher than eyesight.
52. There is a veil: that veil is black. It is the veil of the modest woman; it is the veil of sorrow, & the pall of death: this is none of me. Tear down that lying spectre of the centuries: veil not your vices in virtuous words: these vices are my service; ye do well, & I will reward you here and hereafter.
53. Fear not, o prophet, when these words are said, thou shalt not be sorry. Thou art emphatically my chosen; and blessed are the eyes that thou shalt look upon with gladness. But I will hide thee in a mask of sorrow: they that see thee shall fear thou art fallen: but I lift thee up.
54. Nor shall they who cry aloud their folly that thou meanest nought avail; thou shall reveal it: thou availest: they are the slaves of because: They are not of me. The stops as thou wilt; the letters? change them not in style or value!
55. Thou shalt obtain the order & value of the English Alphabet; thou shalt find new symbols to attribute them unto.
56. Begone! ye mockers; even though ye laugh in my honour ye shall laugh not long: then when ye are sad know that I have forsaken you.
57. He that is righteous shall be righteous still; he that is filthy shall be filthy still.
58. Yea! deem not of change: ye shall be as ye are, & not other. Therefore the kings of the earth shall be Kings for ever: the slaves shall serve. There is none that shall be cast down or lifted up: all is ever as it was. Yet there are masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot hide his poverty.
59. Beware therefore! Love all, lest perchance is a King concealed! Say you so? Fool! If he be a King, thou canst not hurt him.
60. Therefore strike hard & low, and to hell with them, master!
61. There is a light before thine eyes, o prophet, a light undesired, most desirable.
62. I am uplifted in thine heart; and the kisses of the stars rain hard upon thy body.
63. Thou art exhaust in the voluptuous fullness of the inspiration; the expiration is sweeter than death, more rapid and laughterful than a caress of Hell's own worm.
64. Oh! thou art overcome: we are upon thee; our delight is all over thee: hail! hail: prophet of Nu! prophet of Had! prophet of Ra-Hoor-Khu! Now rejoice! now come in our splendour & rapture! Come in our passionate peace, & write sweet words for the Kings.
65. I am the Master: thou art the Holy Chosen One.
66. Write, & find ecstasy in writing! Work, & be our bed in working! Thrill with the joy of life & death! Ah! thy death shall be lovely: whososeeth it shall be glad. Thy death shall be the seal of the promise of our age long love. Come! lift up thine heart & rejoice! We are one; we are none.
67. Hold! Hold! Bear up in thy rapture; fall not in swoon of the excellent kisses!
68. Harder! Hold up thyself! Lift thine head! breathe not so deep -- die!
69. Ah! Ah! What do I feel? Is the word exhausted?
70. There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein!
71. But exceed! exceed!
72. Strive ever to more! and if thou art truly mine -- and doubt it not, an if thou art ever joyous! -- death is the crown of all.
73. Ah! Ah! Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee.
74. The length of thy longing shall be the strength of its glory. He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among the Kings.
75. Aye! listen to the numbers & the words:
76. 4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L. What meaneth this, o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shalt thou know ever. There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound it. But remember, o chose none, to be me; to follow the love of Nu in the star-lit heaven; to look forth upon men, to tell them this glad word.
77. O be thou proud and mighty among men!
78. Lift up thyself! for there is none like unto thee among men or among Gods! Lift up thyself, o my prophet, thy stature shall surpass the stars. They shall worship thy name, foursquare, mystic, wonderful, the number of the man; and the name of thy house 418.
79. The end of the hiding of Hadit; and blessing & worship to the prophet of the lovely Star!
Love is the law, love under will.
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