#shes able to keep it together and keep her cool while also being constantly fucking pissed

[technicolorxsn]

I dont quite know what wakes whole deal is yet but I am honestly obsessed with her anger and hate

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System pt. 6

MASTERLIST

CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5

Roy Kent x Reader

Are you ready? Cos we get really very spicy now my friends so.... be warned. Also, good god I think I'm in love with Roy Kent.

Chapter 6

She pushes the phone into your hand so you have no choice but to bring it to your ear, you still watch Roy who's moved to the otherside of the room. Your heart is still pounding and you feel like you've been given an electric shock. 

"Yeah?" You ask into the phone. 

"Can we talk?"

"Umm, we've just got back from the beach. I'll get Lexie settled and call you back?" You hang up without waiting for any real response.

"I'd better go." He says. 

"Thanks for a cool day Roy! Thanks for winning my unicorn teddy and the ice creams and for letting me go on your shoulders and… and… everything!" Lexie says jumping from foot to foot. 

"Thank you for the best day Lex. We should go again in the summer."

"Yeaaaaaah! Can we mum?"

"Of course we can bunny. Let's get you ready for bed, huh?" She zooms into the living room to gather up the new toys for her room while you see Roy to the door. "I'll see you soon?" You sound unsure, you've no idea where his head is at after the kiss. No idea where your own head is, really. You still feel a little dizzy from it and the coil in your belly is wound even tighter. 

"Yeah, see you soon." His eye catches the sunburn on your shoulders, now joined by beard burn and a little bite mark. He brushes it lightly with his finger and you can't help but lean into him. "Should have put some more cream on." He says quietly before closing the door behind him. You're left in the hallway in a weird limbo of being disappointed that he left and unbelievably turned on. It wasn’t fair, you should be on cloud 9. Instead, you head upstairs and concentrate on real life. You get Lexie into the bath and bed before doing the same yourself. You reluctantly pick up your phone to call Andy back, seeing that Sara has sent some pictures from the day with plenty of sunshine, ice cream and beer emojis on a group message to both you and Roy. There’s the kids playing in the sand, you and the girls looking at the shells you’d collected, one of you pointing and laughing at something out of focus - head thrown back, sunkissed and happy. In the picture, Roy is next to you but he’s not looking at whatever it is that’s got your attention, he’s looking at you. There are others - really great photos, a selfie of the three of you and then one of the five of you. They make your heart flutter. You respond with a heart emoji, not quite able to put into words just how much they all mean to you - and that’s without confronting your growing feelings for Roy. The photos were exactly what you needed for your next task. You press Andy’s contact picture and let it ring.

“Thanks for calling back.” You’re surprised, it’s the most civilised he's been for months. 

“Sorry it took a while. We both needed to get half a beach off us.”

“Did you have a good day? Did you go alone?”

“We went with one of Lexie’s friends from school. It was a lovely day.”

“She said you’re changing jobs.” 

“Yeah, handed my notice in last week. I’ve got about 6 weeks left.”

“You… don’t need to do that you know. Maybe we could work something out?”

“What do you mean?”

“I miss you.”

“Are you pissed?”

“No! Why?”

“You’ve been an absolute fucking nightmare for months - you’ve punished me and belittled me and shamed me for having a better job than you and what? Now I’m giving it up, you think we can get back together? Are you for real right now?” You’re trying to keep your voice down but you don’t think you’ve felt a rage like this in your life. Not even when you were both fighting constantly. 

“I just thought it would be good for Lexie, mum and dad together, making it work?” He mumbled.

“What’s good for Lexie is a happy family life - even if that’s separately. Making it work? Making both of us miserable more like.”

“I wasn’t miserable with you.”

“You had an odd way of showing it Andy. You’ve barely laid a finger on me for years, you criticise everything I do. I’m sorry, I can’t make Lexie happy by destroying myself in the process. I deserve to be really, really loved and you can’t do that. What’s this really about?” You’ve stripped away his arguments, Lexie being his trump card, he has no comeback.

“Lexie keeps talking about your new friends. I just thought… is there anything I can do to change-”

“No Andy, you’ll never change my mind on this. I wish I’d been brave enough to leave you rather than wait for you to leave me to be honest. We won’t talk about this again. Goodnight.” Absolute wanker! You hang up and grab a pillow to scream into. Jealousy, of course. You’d seen it briefly when you’d gone to his flat to pick Lexie up when she’d been poorly but because you’d seen him so rarely recently it hadn’t really registered. You could laugh, it’s only taken him the best part of 8 years for him to actually feel anything for you. 

The next couple of days are a blur of Easter holiday club for Lexie and work for you. There’s still no luck on the job front which makes you nervous, and Andy’s done you the decency of not calling you again. You’d naively hoped that he’d woken the next morning with a hangover and had been appalled at his own behaviour, but you also didn’t really care. Sara had taken to using the group message she’d sent the photos on for childcare planning - it made sense but it also meant that you didn’t have any other excuse for solely messaging Roy. When you finally unpacked the bags of junk from the beach day, you found his book rather than yours in the bag. You were picking the girls up that afternoon and taking Phoebe straight to her nans where Sara would pick her up. They came out of school with paint up their arms and in their hair from the craft activities laid on for them. You were looking forward to seeing Roy’s mum again and she welcomed you as she had before, with a huge hug. She was over the moon to finally meet Lexie who took to her immediately. When Sara arrived back from work a little while later, the girls helped her shake off her tiredness with a dance party (Taylor Swift of course) so the five of you - including Roy’s mum - were dancing around with music blasting, singing at the top of your lungs.

“Standing by and waiting at your back door, all this time, how could you not know, baby? You belong with me, you belong with me!” Until Phoebe screeched,

“Uncle Royyyy! I haven’t seen you for ages!”

“You saw me like two days ago you little weirdo.” He said surveying the chaos ahead of him. “Having fun?”

“It’s a dance party! Sara was sleepy so we needed to wake her up.” Lexie told him.

“Sara’s still sleepy but thanks for trying, guys.” She laughs.

“Come on Lexie-loo. Time for us to go.”

“But muuum!”

“No buts, we need to get you ready for dad’s tomorrow.” The two girls looked sombre that they’d be separated for a few days, but Sara grins at you over their heads,

“Freedom!” You get bags and shoes and say goodbye to Roy’s mum. You stop suddenly in the hall, not realising Roy was right behind you and making him bump into you. He puts a hand to your waist so he doesn’t push you over but it brings you flush to his chest. With his hand on your stomach, you know he had to feel the shuddering breath that leaves your body. You reach into your bag and turn to him, “nearly forgot, I ended up with your book.” 

“Keep it, I’d finished it. Did you finish yours?”

“Yeah, keep it. I promised it to you.” He watches you with dark eyes. You know nothing is going to happen, of course it’s not - there’s a house full of people, Lexie is behind you by the front door putting her trainers on. He nods once and puts a single kiss to your forehead.

“See you soon.”

“Bye,” you look over his shoulder intending to shout goodbye to Sara and her mum but Sara’s in the doorway, eyebrows raised and wide eyed.

“Bye babe, I’ll text you later.” She says casually with a look which is far from casual.

You have the following day off for a couple of interviews so you’ve arranged to pick Lexie up from holiday club and take her round to Andy’s yourself. You don’t really want to have to see him, but the plans were made before his pleas to try again. 

“Here’s your bag, bunny, your coat is inside. Be good, I’ll see you in a few days, ok?” You give her a big hug and kiss and she goes straight into the flat. Andy hovers by the door.

“You look good.”

“Thanks, I’ve had a couple of interviews.”

“Any good?”

“Not sure yet, we’ll see.”

“Ok well… good luck.” You nod, ready to escape but you can see he’s itching to say something else. “I just wanted to say sorry about the other night.”

“It’s ok, forgotten already.”

“Oh, cos I just wanted to check that you’re sure?” You shake your head with a little laugh,

“Yes, Andy. I’m sure. Please, don’t ask again. It’s not going to happen.”

“Right, right. Ok. Have a good week then.”

“Yeah, you too.” You leave his flat feeling lighter. You go back to your car leaving him behind, the clocks have changed so the evenings are light. Your drive takes you past the football club and down Roy’s street. His gate is open and the car is just inside. You turn in before you have a chance to chicken out. You ring the bell and wait. The double take as he answers the door means he didn’t see it was you on the doorbell camera,

“It’s you.” He states,

“Yeah, I was just passing. Is this a bad time, I can go?” You make to leave but he’s quick to stop you.

“No, no, of course it’s fine, come in. I was just cooking. Jesus, you look fucking gorgeous.” You leave your bag by the door and step out of your heels.

“Thank you. I’ve been interviewing today.”

“How did it go, what were the roles?”

“Still Deputy Comms Director. I’m not sure, it’s so hard to say. It’s been ages since I interviewed anywhere.”

“Did they give you any feedback?” Already your conversation with Roy is a complete contrast to Andy’s indifference. You have his undivided attention, he’s curious and interested.

“Not really. I think it’s just a waiting game. It’s so annoying, I only have about 5 weeks left. I’m worried that I was wrong to just resign with nothing to go to next.”

“Bold, not necessarily wrong.” He offers, pouring you a glass of wine.

“I think you’re being too kind there.” You laugh,

“Bollocks. If forced retirement has taught me anything, it’s that you have to accept what’s right for you. Sometimes that means it feels like you’re doing the wrong thing until it becomes the right thing.” You mull on his words while he cooks. The speaker is on quietly in the background while you drink your wine. It feels comfortable.

“Do you regret retiring?”

“Fuck no. My knee thanks me every day for it. I didn’t dare let myself think I’d actually enjoy coaching - I tried to make out like I’d hate it.”

“It felt like the wrong thing to do until it didn’t?”

“Exactly. You’ve got to trust yourself.” He puts a plate of pasta in front of you.

“Oh, thank you.”

“Don’t turn up at my house at dinner time and not expect to get fed.” He takes the seat next to you. 

“Tell me about the club. I’ve heard the rumours that Coach Lasso is leaving?”

“Doesn’t know what he fucking wants. He’s in love with the boss.”

“Really?! Does she know?”

“Nah, they’re both being idiots about it. Neither of them will say anything so he thinks the answer is to leave.”

“And it’s not?”

“No, he should tell her. Shouldn’t he?”

“Course he should. What happens if he leaves?”

“Not a clue. Guess I’ll find out if he ever makes a decision.”

“Not long to decide though. Maybe you should give him your ‘being bold’ pep talk.” You continue your meal together and help clean up afterwards. You didn’t have a reason for visiting in the first place, so you certainly didn’t have one to stick around, but he poured another glass of wine anyway. He seemed to be holding back from you a little, engaging in conversation about work and families but he didn’t once acknowledge the evening you’d returned from Brighton. You cleared your throat, “I had to see Andy today when I dropped Lexie off.”

“Oh yeah?” His frown deepened and unlike with Andy, you saw it immediately - jealousy. 

“Hmm. He, uhh, reckons we should try again.”

“Oh.” He picks at the label on his beer bottle. “Bet Lexie’s happy?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“How come?”

“Well I didn’t think it was a wise idea to tell my 8 year old that I told her dad to fuck off… so, there’s that.” He looked up sharply,

“You told him to fuck off?”

“Not in so many words. But I made it very clear that he should never ask me again.”

“Good. It’s probably not good for you - or Lexie - to keep dragging shit like that out and-”

“Roy?”

“Yeah?” You leaned up from your stool at the kitchen island and kissed him lightly. When you moved away, you watched him carefully, 

“If I’ve got this wrong again, I-” He stepped up to your knees, your tight skirt preventing him from getting much closer, and pulled you to him, kissing you so softly. It was entirely different to the first time he’d kissed you and yet felt just as desperate and wanting. He pulls your blouse out from the waistband of your skirt and leans back just enough to ask the silent question, are you sure? You’re not drunk, there are no kids to interrupt, no phones ringing… you know you’re sure, but you have to know that he is too. He anticipates what you’re about to ask,

“Course I’m fucking sure. You’re not wrong. You weren’t wrong last time. You were drunk, I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you.”

“And now?”

“I’d really like to take advantage of you, that ok?” He says with a chuckle.

“Yes, definitely yes.” You laugh, relieved. He kisses you again and though you know you have all the time in the world, you don’t want to waste a single second. 

“Fucking gorgeous.” He whispers against your neck, “borderline obscene, actually.” You laugh at his stolen compliment. His deft fingers pull your top up and off and you’re thankful you wore one of your really, really good bras for good luck for your interviews. You both decide at the same time that the other is just not close enough, your damn skirt in the way. He takes your hand to help you down from the stool and circles your waist, “this looks amazing, but it’s in the way.” You guide his hand to the zip at the side while you step up onto your tiptoes to pull his training t-shirt off. The skirt pools at your feet and his hands cover you, trying to explore everything all at once. “Up.” He taps your hip,

“Are you sure?”

“Fuck off.” He laughs, lifting you anyway. He doesn’t take you far, only to the sofa where he drops down with you still in his lap. You sit up on your knees so you can take your weight off his bad knee but he grips your hips, puts you back down and sides you further into his lap. You can feel him hard against you and it’s never been like this before, you’ve never been with someone who has made their need for you so obvious, never made you feel so wanted before. This thought alone helps banish your insecurities to the very back of your mind. He kisses a hot, wet path down your neck to the tops of your breasts, your sunburn faded to golden, but the freckles remain. The sensation of his beard against your skin makes you moan and you can’t help but roll your hips into him. He grips you tighter, holding you against him. You reach down between your bodies to pull at the waistband of his shorts. He takes the hint and lifts you both slightly so he can get rid of them. With the shorts out of the way, he can feel the heat and dampness of you against him, “Fuck me-” he breathes, hands tracing up your back to the clasp of your bra.

“Yes, please, yes.” Your hands are in his hair and you pull him back to your mouth for another searing kiss. You have to let go while he takes the straps of your bra down your arms but you press back up against him as soon as you can, the hair on his chest rough against your skin. You grind your hips down again, desperate to feel him against you. His hand goes between you both and he stops to check in again before touching you. You cup his cheek and nod, a shy smile. His fingers find your centre and brush against you. You breathe his name and your eyes flutter shut. Two fingers slide inside you and you think that’s already enough to send you over the edge. You rock against his hand, your forehead against his.

“Open your eyes,” he rasps, “I want to see you.” The second you open your eyes, he presses his thumb to your clit and you cry out. He doesn’t let up, working you through your orgasm until you're choking back a sob. You catch your breath for a moment, but the need for him is overwhelming.

“Need you now, have you got-”

“I’m clean, constant fucking medicals. You?” You nod and he slips your underwear to one side. You lift up to line him up against you and slide down onto him slowly. The stretch is exquisite, too much and yet absolutely perfect all at the same time. You take him fully and pause for a second to revel in the feeling of having him inside you. He kisses you softly, “you feel incredible. God, you’re so beautiful.” He takes your hips while you set the pace but it doesn’t take long for either of you to reach the edge. You come again with his name on your lips and he’s right there with you, bruising your hips with his grip. You slump against his shoulder, nose against his neck.

“Holy shit,” you manage eventually, feeling him laugh against you.

“Yeah, you’re not fucking wrong.” He pulls a blanket from the back of the sofa and wraps it over you as you slip off his lap to sit next to him. Neither of you says anything, his hands run up and down your calves as you sit with your legs in his lap. He reaches over to tuck your hair behind your ear, “will you stay?”

“If that’s ok?” He gets up and takes your hand, pulling you with him.

“Come on, shower and bed. I’ve got training with Jamie at 4am.”

You wake up briefly to a kiss on the back of your neck.

“Back in a bit, go back to sleep.” He whispers, kissing your earlobe. You sigh happily and snuggle down into the bed, pulling his pillow with you. You hadn’t gotten much sleep, waking every so often to soft caresses and kisses. Your body ached in a way you’d never felt before. You slip back into sleep again, waking a couple of hours later to a cup of tea and warm arms around you.

“How was training?” You ask, voice still full of sleep.

“Painful.” He laughed. You sit up to drink your tea, sitting in between his legs, his back against the headboard and yours against his chest. “Can I ask you something?” He murmurs, a hand drifting over your thigh, you let out a needy moan, it’s almost absurd how he can make you want him so badly. “Remember I had that suit fitting? There’s a gala for work next week. Will you come with me?” You turn to put your tea down and then kiss him.

“I’d love to. Thank you.” You smile.

“I’ve got an hour. What time do you have to go?”

“Same.”

“Good.” He smirks, pulling you back down to him.

[fluffydice]

I'm bored so I'm bothering you. Do you have any Saiki K psykickers headcannons you feel like sharing? It's ok if not 🥰

What have you done,,,

I don't have any specific headcanons, but I can talk a bit about their dynamics because I've thought (and written) about it more (and we'll inevitably get headcanons mixed in!)

The Pyskickers are interesting characters all on their own, but when you put them together, you get a mess that really shouldn't work as well as it does. Which is. The same for most ND friend groups asdfghjkl

A big thing that's important to me about them is that they have to be able to work without Saiki. Maybe not be functional, competent humans—especially because, like all of Saiki's friends, the more they group up the more braincells they lose—but they need to work as a friend group. Saiki, unlike with his other friend group, doesn't always feel the need to babysit the Psykickers. Toritsuka, maybe, but he's in a weird spot since he joined so early. Saiki and him were the only ones for a while, so he's kinda an in-between. But for the most part, Aiura and Akechi are usually actively helping Saiki with something. Toritsuka, too, even if 7/10 he's being threatened and/or bribed, 2/10 he's trying to help but failing—him succeeding that 1/10 already puts him in a separate category than most of Saiki's friends.

I went on a tangent there; point being, Saiki isn't constantly mother-henning and helicopter-ing them. Ergo, Saiki can't be the only reason they stick together. I don't want Saiki to be the only reason they stick together in my writing, mainly because I do like reinforcing the fact that not everything is about him—even if it's subtle. Things happen around him that Saiki is not always privy to, and this includes his fellow and honorary psychics' dynamics.

Akechi and Aiura are easy for me. Funnily enough, despite likely having the best relationship, even including Saiki, I have little to say about them. It's likely because they lack a lot of the complexity the others have: they're just really fucking cool with each other, and get along swimmingly. Honestly, when I write them, it's often with at least a hint of a romantic undertone. They're comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. Akechi trusts Aiura's judgement on when he should keep it short out of necessity, not because he's being annoying. Aiura thinks Akechi is wicked as hell, and also trusts his value judgements on people and situations.

From a literary standpoint, Aiura as a character tends to get in over her head and overly emotionally-invested in things—Akechi can provide a good counterbalance to ensure things can remain on track in the story, as well as help avoid any potential mini-conflicts that might arise from characters clashing due to simple communication incompatibility.

Speaking of communication incompatibility, Toritsuka and Aiura are full of it. Despite them seemingly being the most similar on the surface-level, their motivations, intentions, and moralities conflict. A lot. Take this scene I wrote of them, for example:

“Of course they were mad! You can’t just act like you don’t have emotions whenever you feel like it. Or, if you do, you can’t get depressed when they start treating you like it.” “If you don’t shut up,” Aiura hissed, grabbing a fistful of his sleeve. Toritsuka yanked his arm away to no avail, then settled for glaring at her. “I’m gonna—"

Here, we have Toritsuka actually making a good point about something; it's his wording that muddles it up. Aiura is quick to defend against him because she's protective of her loved ones, and is also aware that their beliefs differ sharply. Neither are quite in the wrong here; or, neither of them are any more right than the other. Aiura is right to assume the worst because that's typically what Toritsuka shows. Toritsuka is right to point things out about the situation. These are the mini-conflicts that Akechi smooths over by being essentially a bridge between their ways of communicating:

“Wait, Mikoto,” Akechi piped up. His fingers were in front of his mouth, his thumb cupping his chin, in a classic sign of thinking. “The wording was harsh, admittedly, but Reita is, in fact, not wrong.”

At the end of the day, though, they are friends. Aiura might be a tiny bit more willing to admit it, but both her and Toritsuka do care about each other. When they work together, big things happen. They just need a bit of oil to help smooth things along between them. Most of their dynamic, however, comes from their utility in stores:

From a literary standpoint, Toritsuka helps balance out Aiura's optimism to a reasonable point. Saiki's cynicism is often a big contributor to conflicts in my stories—he's unreliable, both in dialogue and in narration. Toritsuka is a milder version of that cynicism (albeit rough around the edges). Aiura can't always be right about the way of things, but Akechi is too prone to taking the middle ground; essentially, pointing out all the benefits to her way of thinking while also providing the downsides. Sometimes, though, it's necessary to just have someone completely shut it down, and fast. That's where Toritsuka comes in.

Also, Toritsuka and Aiura often act as the representation of the doubts and hopes of Saiki, respectively. They're essentially foils to each other, which is helpful when your main character is a hot-and-cold tempered little bitch. A sort of good-cop bad-cop for him, if you will. By having them verbally duke it out, it helps guide the reader a bit about what's true about Saiki's view and what's distorted by his way of thinking. Chances are, if they manage to agree, it's a lesson he's going to have to learn.

And finally, Akechi and Toritsuka. Though they're comfortable with each other to an extent, they lack the romantic undertones I put in for Akechi and Aiura. Akechi makes Toritsuka uncomfortable: it's hard to argue with him, for one, and he often calls out Toritsuka in a way that's hard to hide from. Akechi is the most successfully mentor-like to Toritsuka out of the rest of them—Aiura is too automatically competitive and Saiki can smother. There's also the fact that Toritsuka can sometimes trigger his trauma in certain ways, so Saiki tends to lash out. Akechi, however, is patient and steady. Anything Toritsuka says rolls off of him like water. Akechi is hard to catch off guard with words or actions, and deep down, Toritsuka really does need stability and an unwavering personality to help him grow as a person. I think Toritsuka is fascinating to Akechi as well, as I don't think Akechi is a naturally sexual being. He's not averse, but the kind of brain-rotted attraction and horniness that Toritsuka often exhibits can teach Akechi a lot about other people. The biggest thing that Toritsuka offers Akechi is a better understanding of other people. His down-to-earth nature can help Akechi connect his practical knowledge about psychoanalysis and anthropology to actual people.

From a literary standpoint, Akechi acts as a milder reign for Toritsuka. Aiura may be right to disagree with him, but sometimes a defter explanation is needed than Aiura's often emotion-driven responses. This is where Akechi comes in, especially because Toritsuka's language and laziness can make it seem as though he's not to be trusted as a rational view. He is, and Akechi helps uncover that.

Also, Toritsuka can sometimes act as the audiences natural reaction to Akechi's tangents. Akechi obviously likes to ramble, but Aiura won't interrupt him and Saiki won't confront people. Toritsuka cuts through a lot of that easily and naturally, which helps keep them both in character while still allowing the story to move on.

Overall, it's kind of easy to see what utility I get out of these characters. Akechi is an intermediary who bridges gaps of understanding, both between characters and the audience and the happenings of the story. Aiura is the outgoing one, the one to get things started. She provides a force against Saiki's heavily biased world-view and acts as a moral compass for her group. Toritsuka helps cut through a lot of bullshit and acts as healthy dosage of reality these personalities need to keep their heads on straight.

Plus, I think they're in an unofficial QPR. So.

[hismercytomyjustice]

Oh. Also forgot.

Apparently my aunt who was in the hospital is doing better? Idk. She got a new phone and texted my dad for his birthday.

Like, I’m definitely glad she’s doing better. I may have had to cut contact with her, but it’s not like I want something bad to happen to her.

I’d like to think maybe this will be a wake up call for her to get her life back together, but she’s been given several wake up call opportunities now and has declined all of them.

Idk. I just feel bad for her, but at the same time I know getting into contact with her would not end well for me mental-health-wise and I’m only just now starting to feel like I’ve gotten a better handle on that. I would prefer not to have another full blown OCD relapse, kthnx. Been riding the edge of that wave for almost a year now.

In lighter news. I had to switch to a different migraine preventative. I was on a beta blocker before but since I’m going to make myself be a big kid and get allergy shots (T^T), it was suggested I switch to something else. Otherwise the effectiveness of any life-saving methods should I have an extreme reaction might be lessened.

I said in lighter news and then proceeded to be like “they made me sign a paper saying I’m cool with maybe dying if I get these shots while on these meds.” lol.

BUT. BUT!

I have not had a migraine FOR OVER A FUCKING WEEK NOW?! OH MY GOD?!?!?!

Like, holy fucking shit. The other meds I was on worked briefly and then stopped working. But these ones so far have been better than I ever hoped or expected.

It is INSANE! I knew migraines were fucking me up pretty bad, but I didn’t realize how bad until I went a week straight without one.

Just a week with no brain fog, no extreme exhaustion, etc.

I’m pretty sure this is the longest I’ve gone without one in several months, if not a full year. Like I could genuinely cry, I’m so happy. Now if I can just get rid of this fucking cold, I may become unstoppable…

But just like. Holy shit. Having consistent energy levels on the daily? Being able to focus without interruption (minus the ADHD lol)? Not constantly barely able to stay awake?

God. I just. I’ve managed to work every single day. I’ve been able to stay on top of work (tho I also have some help from a phenomenal accountabilibuddy). I have not spent the past week feeling like shit (minus the cold) and unable to work, then having my OCD go into overdrive because I’m not getting anything done, and then just ruminating all day on what a failure I am and how things are never going to improve.

Seriously it’s fucking life changing. God I hope this stuff keeps working because I knew shit was bad but I had no idea how bad until now.

Just. Fuck. I feel so hopeful that maybe I’ll finally be able to start getting some semblance of order in my life? And I’m also kinda fucking relieved that maybe the migraines were doing more to fuck me up than I realized and and it’s not entirely my own fault that I’ve been floundering so hard and just struggling function day-to-day?

(*My therapist jerks upright in a cold sweat* Someone isn’t practicing self-compassion!)

Even if I do still get the occasional migraine, this has been such bliss and genuinely makes me a little weepy at the realization that things are getting better.

[psiionic]

my understanding of cronus and mitunas relationship will always and forever be that cronus and meenah were isolated together as royalty and cronus genuinely had no other friends other than meenah and HER friends that he met online until mituna was eventually introduced, and not only introduced to the two of them but literally given his own suite in the empresses castle alongside meenah, and cronus realized that he actually genuinely had competition not just because mituna was there, but because it was the first time he ever realized meenah didn't have to choose him just because hes royal, in fact she could choose whoever she wanted at any time. and this was scary as fuck for him! it was the first of many breakdowns of his belief systems and it scared the hell out of him to have this realization and it lead to him bullying the fuck out of mituna as a misguided lash out of having his little belief bubble popped. mituna on the other hand genuinely wanted nothing to do with the empress or the empire or even meenah (until he learned she ALSO didnt want to become the empress and hated the empire, and then they started bonding) and genuinely was unimpressed and uncaring towards a lot of the new status he was being pampered with, it was something he was overall uninterested in. And this was. fucking eye opening for Cronus. Mituna essentially became this idolized figure of coolness, rebellion, and also competition in Cronus' eyes. Everything Mituna did was cool to him, and something he wanted to top, to prove that hes ALSO as cool as tuna. He wants to be someone who isn't bothered by money, he wants to be someone who doesn't care about the hemospectrum or societal expectations, he wants to do everything his way, he wants to be open and true to who he is, just like Mituna is. This, also paired with the fact that Mituna is the first person who has a learning disability like he does, is literally like, so formative for him. Mituna on the other hand is literally just some disabled idiot, like Cronus builds him up to be this rebellious badass skateboarding cool guy, but in reality hes just disabled and really really angry at the world for taking him away from his lusus and not listening to him when he warns about incoming doom. He hates being pampered like an animal, he hates being talked down to, and he hates being expected to change himself to fit in more. He ends up seeing Cronus as someone he wants to help get out of those reigns of societal expectations, but Tuna himself also sees it as a chance to be something better than what he actually is. For once in his life hes being seen as COOL. Someone sees him as COOL and BADASS and REBELLIOUS instead of just lame and stupid and idiotic and unwell, and it is stroking his fucking ego so insanely hard for the first time of his life. He has never once been seen the way Cronus sees him and as much as he wants to help Cronus get over his weird insecurities and dependancies on social rules and people above him, he also never wants to stop having his ego stroked, he LOVES being told hes good at what he does because while he KNOWS hes good at what he does, literally no ones ever told him that. This ends up developing into a pretty intense hatecrush on both their sides, essentially constantly obsessed with updoing and outdoing eachother at all times. and this also benefits Meenah, with these two idiots keeping eachother busy, she never has to deal with them or consider them on HER roster. Mituna is able to pick up on this, but Cronus is not. Cronus still views Mituna as competition for Meenah, where as Mituna has no interest in Meenah and only plays it up to get Cronus to freak the fuck out.

like literally to me they are the ABA kids, these kids are the special ed kids who think they are rivals, they larp as sonic and shadow the hedgehog in their down time. Its like Eridans whole catholic boy thing vs Solluxs whole athiest redditor thing except turned up to four thousand, Cronus is a delusional catholic magician convinced he has gods magic on his side and Mituna is a delusional psychotic prophet convinced they're all going to die and waste into nothing. Like they make me fucking crazy man

[melverie]

general info 5 & 8, and relationship and personality 1 ( love your blog btw, hope you're having a nice day <3 )

Ahhh, thank you so much anon, that's sweet of you to say!! 💚💚 I hope you also have a nice day/night!

-> to the ask game -> to all asks about Marchosias

⸺ GENERAL INFO 05 ⸺ Which deadly sin best aligns with them? Which one do they embody the least?

Most people would probably assume she aligns most with gluttony given how often she goes on her little parfait outings. But she's actually a pride demon who just happens to have a massive sweet tooth! Her pride predominantly kicks in as a defense and coping mechanism. For example, her right hand is pitch black up to a little over her elbow and as an angel that was reason enough for her to be outcast a lot of the time, but now as a demon she's just like "you WISH your arm was this cool". Around others she also takes great pride in being able to solicte humans into pacts with ease, when in actuality it's just an empty skill to her

Envy is a pretty strong contendor as well, though. On one hand, there's the fact that her wings were cut off as an angel and she now has two tails meaning she can't fly anymore, yet she would love nothing more than to be closer to the night sky, and constantly envies demons with wings. And while both she and the brothers are fallen angels, at least the brothers got to fall together with their family, which is something her child-self didn't have at the time

As for least, that would have be Sloth. She's just constantly up and about with different tasks relating to the Newspaper Club and has to deal with school work, as well as managing all the requests from her human masters

⸺ GENERAL INFO 08 ⸺ Do they have a kill count? How high is it?

She does, and considering how she often resorts to stabbing people that annoy her with her tails, it's surprisingly low!

..........low for a demon, anyways

⸺ RELATIONSHIPS & PERSONALITY 01 ⸺ What's their relationship with the cast?

Since you didn't specific which characters I went with Lucifer, Levi, Diavolo and Barbatos to talk more in-depth about. If you'd like to hear a little about the others, feel free to send another ask!

Lucifer

Lucifer was responsible for her while she was still a little angel. Back then Marchosias looked up to him then despite Lucifer's less than kind attitude toward her, and things only got worse between them once the brothers fell. There was one incident in particular that severely damaged their relationship and that ended with Marchosias trying to get Lucifer to take her grimoire since he's "he's already used to playing around with her fate, this wouldn't be any different"

If you ask any of the people that played absolutely no part in any of it what that incident was about, they'll tell you that the two of them went on a date that went south. If you ask any of the two demons actually involved, Marchosias tends to grow completely quiet, while Lucifer will hesitate a little before either saying that they "were talking about something that happened back when they were both angels" or that he told her "something he thought she deserved to know", but that's about as much as you will get out of them. The only other ones that know the full story are Mephisto, Barbatos, Solomon, Simeon and Raphael, but they'll keep quiet about it

Their relationship has been strained for several centuries after this, but nowadays they finally have a more friendly and casual relationship with each other and she's back to looking up to him. She and my MC have even formed the "Lucifer, take a fucking break already" club. Club activities include coming up with different ways to trick Lucifer into taking a break!

She also likes getting on his nerves :) She might have taken over RAD's Newspaper Club after Mephisto was forced to step down, but Marchosias keeps him as her second in command and runs any important decision by him first. And then she always goes with whatever Mephisto suggests. It's not uncommon for Lucifer to complain to her about it because "that defeats the purpose of having Mephistopheles step down in the first place" :)

Leviathan

As with any of the brothers, Marchosias keeps some tabs on him for the RAD Newspaper. So outside of interviews and school surveys, they have hardly ever exchanged a word with each other. That being said, she's also a massive fan of his cosplays! Not that she would ever tell him that to his face. There are only very few instances where Marchosias gets shy, and witnessing Levi's embarrassment is one of those instances where she gets completely disarmed

Anyway, Marchosias even has notifications on for his accounts. It's not uncommon that Levi posts something only to delete it three seconds later... Plus he's pretty much the only one out of the brothers about whom she doesn't like getting blackmail insider information from her Anonymous Source™

Diavolo

Maze is genuinely fascinated by his charisma and his ability to captivate people with his speeches. Pretty much the only reason she still shows up to seductive speechcraft classes is because she hopes to be partnered up with Diavolo and get to learn as much about his charme as she can. It could be useful for forging pacts with humans, after all!

Diavolo actually also enjoys partnering up with her because--even though they hardly ever get any work done--he is super interested in all her experience in forging pacts with humans, so they talk the entire time instead of paying attention in class. Win-win situation for the two of them, lose-lose situation for the teachers, Lucifer and Barbatos <3

Barbatos

They've know each other pretty much ever since Marchosias fell, but their relationship was very distant at first. He has helped her adjust to the Devildom and helped her master her powers on behest of the king, but their relationship mostly just stayed professional. They've finally started growning a lot closer a while after Marchosias had forged her pact with Solomon, and while you don't see them talking with each other outside of RAD News related business, they comment on any given situation by shooting each other looks whenever they pass each other in the hallway or on the street

She trust him immensely which is why he is in possession of her grimoire as mentioned here, and Barbatos is also the first one Marchosias goes to when she's in need of comfort. Whenever that happens, she usually just storms into the castle, ignores everyone as she walks straight to Barbatos and then just collapses in his arms

-> to the ask game -> to all asks about Marchosias

[zainnbug]

so ….i’ve been rewatching “The Spectacular Spider-Man” and i just wanted to give my lukewarm takes on it (just my own personal opinions!) prepare for horrible analysis and alot of words!!!!!

1. THE VILLAINS LOWKEY SUCK

i say this with an open mind because Spectacular Spider-Man is a kids show… but the villains are not good. I feel like there is very little build up on these characters origin stories and why the way they act like they do. For example electro, an ordinary repair guy who is involved in a work accident while working on machinery next to genetically altered eels. for me i just couldn’t understand where all his hatred was coming from except for the fact that he is never able to go back to his life. Like this guy is traumatized and now has to adjust to a new life that harms everyone and then boom he’s evil and hates Spider-Man (Too much Spider-Man hate and not enough I-hate-the-world kind of hate! ). There just wasn’t more of a build up to it, like i wished he tried to be like a hero just like Spider-Man then completely fucks everything up while trying to do good. I know certain life altering changes completely changes someone but i still wish he tried to cling onto his human characteristics (like his morals he once had from who he used to be). It would’ve been cool if he tried to be himself again more mentally and then threw that out the window cuz it was never gonna work out)That’s also one thing i see recurring with the villains is that they just hate Spider-Man…. But I still try to keep an open mind as it is a really short show and apparently electricity is the main source for all evilness in this show (literally).

2. He’s a hoe

heavy on this one cause pete cannot choose from liz, gwen, mj, black cat or that bugle secretary. He went from that shordy who worked at the bugle to mj to liz allan to black cat then to liz again then gwen then LIZ AGAIN then gwen again? it was like every 5 seconds he was switching sides …like oh man! liz is into me.. oh and gwen too!! and then he just wouldn’t make up his mind. This guy is a man whore I STILL REMEBER THE SCENE WHERE HE FINALLY DECIDED TO TALK TO GWEN AFTER THEIR KISS AND SHE BLEW HIM OFF SO HE STARTED THINKING ABT MJ WHILE SHE(MJ) WAS TALKING TO HIM. even she told him to get it together 😔 do better peterman

3. Mjs incredible personality✨

this one’s not too much of a big deal and i can tolerate it but it still irks me. Throughout the entire time of Mjs screen time is her personality which kind of ruins her character in this show. From the way she talks to how she flirts with everyone in the show bothers me. She flirts with nearly every guy in the show and she’s just… too flirty LIKE IT DOESNT FIT HER CHARACTER. It’s not the Mj i know but i still do luv. It’s just not in her character to act this flirtatious. It’s like she has no real personality other than being hot.

BONUS:

-the villains in this show were still enjoyable like otto octavius and venom, which are my personal favs. Also seeing marko stick up for a child being bullied and saving innocent people really did it for me. I also thought he was just some mindless spider-man hater but there’s a little more to it.

- despite peter being a hoe….erm i actually cannot find something good to say abt his hoe side srry y’all….

-despite Mjs flirty side, Mj is like the number one supporter for most of the characters in this show. She’s the one constantly checking on gwen and peter while also giving them relationship advice or just advice in general. Also she’s the first person to notice something is wrong. I like to call her a girls girl cuz she really looks out for the girls in the show.

thanks for reading my horrible takes i will be posting more like follow and subscribe if y’all actually read me yapping away and stay tuned y’all 🙏

[gex-uwu]

[DELETED]

December 18

I met a really sweet girl named [whatever] on a discord server, we quickly became friends and started talking.

February 8

I insulted her in the middle of an rp. She stopped speaking to me. I later unfriended her because i thought she would never talk to me again.

March 19

We met again, but in a different server, one where we had a lot of mutual friends, it's a super comfortable and welcoming server. We started speaking again. She told me she wasn't mad over what I had said and we started talking again regularly.

Eventually we started doing gore rp. Where we'd kill and hurt each other. Never in a mean way though it was always lovingly and in a romantic setting. It was usually me who killed her though, and the one time i asked her to kill me she didn't want to because i was in a really depressed mood, so she didn't feel like it was right to do.

I cannot describe how much these rp's meant to me.

March 27

She confessed her feelings to me and we spent 4 hours talking about whether or not us being in a relationship could work. I at one point had made up my mind and said I wanted to do it and that I'd do everything I possibly could to make it work.

But she said something that made me change my mind. She said that she doesn't want her first relationship to only last 2 months. Hearing that brought out all my insecureties about not being able to keep my friends. I haven't had a friendship last more than two months in the past year.

I also realized I was so obsessed with my crush at the time, that it wouldn't be fair to have [whatever] be my girlfriend, while i was still obsessed with someone else, and constantly thinking about them. So we didn't start dating.I then told her not to wait for me, or save herself for me.

A few days she apologized for telling me all those things. Especially because right before she confessed her feelings i had been talking to her about how desperate I was for a relationship. And how badly i just wanted to just get into one, no matter how real or unstable it would be.

I had also tried to tell her that once I'm over my crushes that we could maybe be together. But I didn't say it like that. So I don't think I got the point across.

April 8

She took her own life.

April 14

Her death was announced in the discord server.

It was only after her death that i started rereading all our old messages, which made me finally fall in love with her and realize just how much she actually loved me.

At this point I feel more love for her than i ever have for anyone else. I just have no way to tell her. All i can do is message her inactive account. She will never see it, or respond. But it's the only way i feel like I'm able to tell her how I feel. I know she won't see it but it, it sorta feels like she does.

[UPDATE]

April 25

Still alive. Told me to fuck off, then told me i was a cool person and fun to talk to. Then told me to fuck off again.

Added me back some time later in May. I can barely talk to her, even though I really want to. Do I still love her???? it feels like it sometimes but it also doesn't.

It's June 10th now. We talked yesterday. She's still super sweet, idk what to do.

[threeeyedharemp3]

ALso in that x files ep uhhh small potatoes thats the one. i knew what was coming cos i saw gifsets lol but the end scene where theyre both kind of awkward cos she thought that guy Was mulder. and she says 'i dont think you need to be told this but youre not a loser' and he says 'yeah but im not a [whatever that guys name was dennis or whatver] either' - like she thought she was opening up to mulder & yeah he was acting weird but like realistically she had little reason to suspect it wasnt him cos he. looked like mulder you know sh ethought she was telling him funny stories from when she was younger & hanging out & getting a bit tipsy and she wasnt entirely opposed to kissing him like she was nervous & hesitant sure but ofc she was.

& then the real mulder bursts in & she a) realises who she was talking to and b) obv embarrassed that shed been opening up to this guy who was kinda a creep but like it could have been A Lot Worse and c) mudler saw her about to kiss someone d) mulder saw her about to kiss. well. mulder. wild implications there*. e) she knows that he knows he saw her about to kiss him (theres a grammatical nightmare) and he knows that she was going to kiss him after a nice evening together which leads to his point that f) he doesnt think that He could do that. that despite everything he doesnt know if he has the nerve or the... social skills? or the general anything to be able to even get close to that point. like he doesnt think that could ever happen to Him even though im sure at this point hes considered it a few times. but now he knows that scully is....... idk whatevr she is!! like she doenst know her feeling for him for sure & vice versa & what are either of them supposed to do with that!!!!!!!!

& that guy saying 'i was born a loser. youre a loser by choice' to him like. mulder is well aware he's dug himself into a hole of insane dimensions due to the everything and in a another world he is a normal good looking guy with a college degree & probably a beautiful wife(/husband. imagine with me) but noooo he has to spend his life in the fbis basement & constantly in mortal danger chasing after shadows. & im sure he's spiteful about that sometimes but he has the strength of his convictions to pull him through. & scully has the strength of his convictions because he is holding this whole thing together through sheer force of will but could fly off the handle so so quickly. & scully keeps him grounded NOT !! in a 'only braincell mum friend' way but with her rationality & he is truly grateful for that but he'd never say it because. he just wouldnt. i think he gets around to it eventually. like anything happens to either of them - when mulder wanders into a gulag looking for evidence scully gets herself held in contempt of court cos she refuses to tell them anything about what he's doing until she knows for sure Real Justice will happen & scully gets abduction cancer & mulder (& skinner too lol) is threatening people over it. which is just!! so them!! mulder gets overly emotional & tries to use force & scully tries to use the system & point out the facts

also. the shapeshifter guy in mulders body being like. holy shit why does this guy like. suck. why doesnt he have a bed in his apartment. why are all his friends conspiracy theorists. what the hell. & then trying to look cool for five mintues which was so funny cos i can picture mulder doing the exact thing lol

personally i think mulder would be a fuck your clone kind of guy i was hoping he would say something weirdly homoerotic to teh guy while he looked like him in an earlier scene but it didnt happen. uhhh anyways

[gayhomominecraftmen]

Up next is Kaboodle SMP for those unfamiliar, go watch it. It's actually really good and deserves way more love than it has currently, it’s actually wonderful. Go watch it now.

Kaboodle SMP

Kab/Escalante: ok so Kab as we know is a very emotional character, she thinks with her heart more than her mind. However we’ve seen what happens when she snaps, you dont get on her bad side unless you want your house set on fire, or a crater in your lawn, or to be flat out stabbed. (Yes these all happened Kab-SMP watchers know what im talking about.) Anyway, the point is when she wants to be she is the most chaotic bitch ever she could topple a society if she wanted to. Weapon of choice is a diamond sword, no I don’t have a reason. Literally, this girl can summon TNT and anything chaotic she wants she can get.(all incarnates of escalante have this ability) Tragic backstory is ofc being constantly compared to her deadbeat brother and being manipulated by a guy in a clown mask that ends up being a better brother than the original. (Context: Clown ended up accidentally getting attached and is able to world hop—we’ll get to that—so he’s like the actual half-decent brother Kab never had.) girl is crazy protective of friends and fam to the extent of driving herself insane. (Evidence is literally the entire first half of season 2)

Muu/shadow: this might be far fetched but a big part of it is vibes. I think it would be cool, tragic backstory is literally the whole amnesia and inability to help some people in the group because she has to help them, they have to. If they don't, what use is she? (Hahahahahhahaha) anyway main weapon is ofc her giant ass hammer that is the coolest fucking thing ever ong. She can manipulate water (powers match other shadow incarnates) really rich when she tries to get materials. And she’s literally a cow hybrid, mythical beasts are her jam she loves them. 

Pyro/lycan: I don’t think I need to explain this very much, I mean just look at him????? Anyway he’s constantly ready for a fight even if he knows he can’t win *cough* clown fight *cough* also he is hella loyal to Maddie and also Rae, very protective of them. While wolves aren’t exactly on brand for him I can totally see that being something he could do because symbolismmm. Imagine that, lone wolf finally becoming part of a pack and being protective of them from any and all threats?? Tragic backstory is that whole wither incident. It literally became a part of his soul like- come on. Main weapons are those cool ass blades he has idk what they’re called one sec lemme look. Ok idk your just have to look at him yourself. Point is I like him for this role and I think it fits well. Up next,

Maddie/Irene: Maddie is wonderful for this, bite me. Anyway so basically first of she holds all of the brain cells, she is the logical one and while sometimes her choices aren’t ones you like they are some of the most logical. (Ex: Rae murdering someone) she may be a bit bad with emotions but it does help her make certain decisions. Tragic backstory is leaving her sister in the end alone and her friend (she’ll never admit it but it’s Lincu). She’s also determined on many things, trying to get Kab out of her room, keeping the group together, understanding the overworld, getting better at emotions, the list goes on. Also the idea of Maddie being able to create things and paralleling Kab similar to siblings is an image I will never let leave my head. Weapon of choice is ofc her daggers (the Kaboodle SMP weapons are the coolest shit I’ve ever seen). Also Maddie is terrified of failing, it makes her want to cry when she can’t get something right first try. (Just like me fr).

Lincu/Ro’meave: Alright I want to start this off by saying that I am right. Next Zane is collecting trans incarnates like fucking Pokémon. Yes, Lincu is trans ftm because it just fits?? Idfk what goes on in my brain. Anyway he’s obviously got the tinkering side of Zane down, did you see his entire first experience on the overworld? He makes weird things and he is constantly messing with things that look cool (de-fuser incident anyone?) also again just kinda vibes really. Pretty boy, pretty boy, pretty boy. Tragic backstory I return to ✨shitty parenntttsss✨I’m starting to notice a pattern here. Anyway an endarian growing up with parents obsessed with knowledge and tech and shit don’t exactly have time to deal with a child so yayyyy neglect <3. Weapon of choice is a long sword because those things are fire and he’s petty. He can summon weapons (think Donnie from specifically ROTTMNT) and can fix pretty much any machine you bring him, (toaster? Yep. Microwave? Ofc. Electric bike? Don’t exist but sure. nuclear bomb? Why not.) his wings, (yes wings i didn’t mention it but all incarnates have wings. So yeah that’s that.) haha no he can’t that’s Riice’s thing.

Caitie/Evelyn: ok let's get this started. Caitie not only fits for vibes, but literally she was talking with the ghost of Riice???? Sorry there is nothing you can do to convince me of something different. Also I think it’d be funny if her weapon of choice was a shovel that gets comically large. She can do the same thing Gem does, which is raise the dead, command a ghost army (but she’s not old enough for that yet), and see and converse with ghosts. She’s besties with Ivory too and when she came back from wherever she disappeared to Ivory actually cried and hugged her. Because Ivory cares, she does, just doesn’t know how to show it. Her tragic backstory is that literally aside from Riice she was completely alone?? And then Riice left as well??? But it’s fine because Riice is alive, she brought her back and Izzie everyone is alive and everything is fine- (yes I am doing this, she is a wet cat /affectionate). (Also Ivo never died because it just doesn’t fit ig??? Idk I feel like it’s Bucky winter soldier scenario except instead of mind control it’s severe emotional manipulation- well I suppose that’s more like black widow. Shhhh he’s in therapy with Muu.)  

Riice/Nio: okay idk how to explain this but like she’s a baker first off. So that completely checks off the whole agriculture bit, second the idea of her having wings??? And fixing wings??? It’s just- yes. As for the luck bit, she kinda got the short end of the stick didn’t she- well she gets lucky afterward right? Being brought back to life and shit- because I feel bad for them and this is my AU so fuck death, it’s a social construct I deny. Anyway weapon of choice isn’t exactly normal? Like she uses hoes ig sometimes but she mainly utilizes the vines of the virus she got infected with. She is the positive sunshine with Caitie, never taking sides unless she is completely confident in her actions. Discourse in the commune stresses her out and she always tries to fix it but her attempts sometimes make it worse. Tragic backstory would be the fact that she was alone with Caitie for god knows how long trying to keep her alive with no adult supervision and also idk maybe the fact that she kinda died for a bit and everyone ignored her??? Maybe???? Just a bit??? (Everyone profusely apologized when they found out btw) she also is besties with Muu, they just are I’m sorry I don’t make the rules.

Izzie/Nana: this one is a lot of vibes ngl. Also she literally can make any potion??? Sound familiar to anyone? But yeah her being the incarnate of KC just kinda fits. Also she was kinda the resident healer and had all the fun vibes. She did get brought back to life because her dying made me sad so yeah. But she’s back and definitely covered in burn scars. She totally doesn’t have any trauma right? Right?????? But yeah she definitely needs to have multiple sessions with Muu but we don’t talk abt that. the weapon of choice is a bow and any potion she can get her hands on, trust me, you don’t want her to have a potion on her. she has far too many ideas and no outlets for her violent tendencies, stay away from her in a fight. i think she didn’t forgive kab originally but after a whole character arc and seeing that Kab is genuinely trying to change she’d begin to do so.

Anyone wanna hear about my extremely confusing and yet strangely elaborate AU combining my favorite characters across SMPs?

[emonaculate]

Streamer!Eren headcanons

❥ AU: Modern!AU

❥ Genre: Fluff

❥ Rating: Anyone can read

❥ Pairings: Streamer!Eren x Black!Reader

❥ Author Note: Ive been having the biggest brain rot about streamer!eren cause i just feel in my bones, it would be perfect for him so here are some head canons.

inspired by @sleepysnk

Eren would play any game that peaks his interest, but gets the most views when he plays any horror game, minecraft, or among us.

Its mainly due to how serious he gets when he rages over losing/dying or getting a jump scare.

"SON OF A BITCH! WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT ZOMBIE EVEN COME FROM?"

"Eren babe, not so loud."

"Sorry beautiful."

There are tons of video compilations dedicated to you walking in to shush him

His fans ADORE you

Most of them are baffled that Eren is in an interracial relationship but quickly grow used it after seeing your interactions

He often answers questions surrounding your relationship without invading what you want to keep private.

He would 100% let you sit in his lap whilst streaming

His views always rise when you are there, people just like seeing the adorable banter and romance

Everyone can tell how much he loves you

Literally he will visibly soften whenever you enter his line of view

Demands kisses whenever you enter or leave his "office"

If you ever miss a kiss, he will take a break from his stream and track you down

Plays with Jean, Connie, and Armin often

Plays with you too and gets super overprotective if anyone kills you in a game.

Once the entire gang played Among Us together and Eren went completely batshit after finding out Reiner and Bertholdt were the imposters that killed you.

The next round he is the imposter.

"And I took that personally."

He's oddly the scariest imposter.

For some reason, he becomes rational but manages to hide it well behind his usual hotheadness.

Still would never kill you tho <3

He would completely obliterate you in minecraft however

"eren stop I only have one heart left. you play too much."

"you didnt seem to mind playing when you hit me into lava... I lost all my fucking diamonds so you know what they say... hasta la vista baby"

Sucks at building but sucks at mining as well

usually fights mobs all night to stack up xp

says he's training to fight the dragon

swears he'll slay all creepers

deathly afraid of endermans

when they pop up, his screams are girly and loud

"HOLY SHIT. NO NO NO RUN YOU DAMN MIDGET! FUCKING MOVE!"

when he isn't fighting, he'll gather flowers for you and constantly leave them in places for you to find around your house

"Thanks for the flowers baby, yellow is still my favorite."

"I know princess."

he also puts gifts in your chests even though he sucks at mining, because you deserve the best.

Eren is pretty perverted and though he doesnt look at his stream chat often, whenever he sees any comments about your body or how lucky he is, all he does is grin knowingly and mumble "all mine."

HATES whenever people make it a big deal that you're black

addresses it once and swears if shit starts up again, he'll leave forever and never come back despite streaming being something he loves

will never tolerate racism or hearing stereotypes toward you EVER, even if its unintentional, pops off ever mfing time.

"Whether or not that's her real hair, it doesn't fucking concern you. Stop asking when you clearly look like you have uneven extensions, Brittany. Mind your fucking business."

"Baby chill, maybe she was just asking a honest questions."

"Nah fuck that. I don't give a damn, don't worry about whats in my baby's head."

You know those social media stars, who turn the cheek and allow people to say rude and hateful shit?

Yeah thats not Eren, he will always clap back harder and its beyond disrespectful.

"How are you gonna tell me to kill myself, when your bio literally says fly high mom? You must want me to pay her a visit or something."

"I'm too short? Well I think my height is just fine compared to your brother who seems to be just below six feet."

He has been cancelled TOO many times

its always for stupid shit

for being able to speak Japanese despite being a white man

for thinking pineapple on pizza is good

for liking Pepsi over coke

for pouring his milk in before his cereal

His COD lobby trash talk; while he doesn't say slurs or racist remarks, its too damn vulgar. He was built for that lobby 😭😭

His trash talking is elite and most times you can hear the person he is shit talking on the verge of crying. Its so fucking brutal.

In the same breath, he turn around and ask for kisses from you, as if he didn't make someone rethink being born.

That side only pops out when he is extremely pissed and he tries to avoid ever getting that mad because he knows words can hurt.

AN ADVOCATE FOR THE LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY

Gets super confused whenever someone asks what his thoughts on the community are.

"Love who you want, why the fuck should I worry about what some else gets off to?"

"If dicks makes you hard, cool. If pussy get you off, me too, lets be friends. Sexuality shouldn't matter people, grow tf up."

Donates a huge sum of the money he earns to different causes such as: cleaning up the polluted ocean charities, Black lives matter, protect Asian lives, and feed the hungry.

Basically he's caring and just wants to help despite his impulsive personality.

Once a month, he visits orphanages to talk to the kids, no camera no video nothing just to hang with the kids.

The only way his followers find out is because others posting about it.

Overall, Eren is in love with what he does and you, but if he had to pick, he'd choose you every single day over and over again <3

[freebooter4ever]

.

I know i said i wouldnt waste any more words on him but this morning im indulging.

It's cloudy and rainy in LA today. When I imagined being older - well first off I didn't think it would take me till my thirties to finally feel semi-securely independent- but as a kid I always saw myself living and working in Seattle (home) with the glossy wet streets and constant smell of damp pine needles. So I guess when I get even a little sense of that...it feels like some sort of accomplishment I didn't even recognize I was searching for? The mist at the seaport did the same. I didn't even bring a coat with me, I was wandering around the village in my goofy sailing ship sweater and 4 inch heels, probably standing out like a sore thumb. But you couldn't get me to get off those beautiful ships just because of a little rain. One of the volunteers I was chatting up was so amused by my refusal to stay dry she actually gave me her umbrella to use while she hid under the ship's eaves.

And Oh, the rain the greenery the clouds reminded me of that little island off vancouver island that i fell so much in love with while working there for a week. Where I went running on rocky beaches, and took my cool down sitting on a driftwood throne, and kept thinking about how i wanted to take nick out of land locked pittsburgh and get him out here to the pacific northwest and keep him. That was back when we were still doing our friends-with-benefits/lovers(?) thing, and eight years ago sounds like forever but it felt like no time at all when I saw him walking across the gravel hill in the port. (I keep reminding myself that he never called me once while he was in Seattle)(I thought about him constantly whenever I was there...and that was obviously not reciprocated).

But look, we met on one of my more miserable thanksgivings when I was headed down the treacherously tall front steps of his sister's pittsburgh north side house, and he was headed up with an arm load of pies. And all he had to do was fucking smile at me (and then later when I came back from my office around 2am to find him sitting on the floor of the kitchen eating pie, and I perched on the bar stool and we talked for three hours, and he kept smiling and smiling and smiling up at me like I was something special).

He smiled at me again when I unexpectedly saw him at the seaport. He did NOT tell me the bad weather meant he was no longer aboard whatever ship he had been supposed to be on. He had not responded to any of my texts about how I and a friend were making the trip anyway. And he must have overhead me bitterly complaining to my friend that I hated how much I loved this place because I wanted to see it, hate it, and be able to forget about him. So his smile was a little strained, I think.

I wish I had taken photos of his office. It was up this long flight of cavernous wood steps covered in hanging seafaring paraphernalia in a wooden building over a century old. And at the top, in his little room - also covered in ship building paraphernalia, he offered me a seat. But instead of sitting in the arm chair I pulled out a nearby stool so I could perch as close to his desk as possible. And to the left of me was this beautiful old glass window. So when looking at him got to be too much, i could stare out at the ships.

Cause looking at him was the same, like no time had passed, and it was weird and terrifying because of how unexpected that was. He could still lift me off my feet in a hug like it was easy, and the minute we touched I still didn't want to let go. Kissing was a little scarier than it used to be, but that was my fault for having retreated back into my shell during the pandemic. But between kisses, while we were still stuck together like magnets, I definitely kept babbling about how much I already loved this place, and how my job was all on the computer, and technically I could work remote anywhere I chose, and he was definitely encouraging it.

And I'm not stupid, I promise. I know that if I up and moved to small town rhode island nick would get tired of me within a week, and it would be a disaster and all fall apart. I know this has always been my lovestory and for him its something else entirely. But oh my god that office overlooking the ships, with his big blue eyes looking at me from across a desk that he utterly belonged in...that could be a fantasy.

(the best thanksgiving of my life was him and me alone in a cabin in the laurel highlands, taking his truck out in the snow and exploring the woods)(he baked me mac n cheese)(if i do have a type its: ‘can cook well’)(but im also awkwardly aware that my bar for ‘best’ is so low, that surely he's had better, and this is all one sided).

I've dated other people since, obviously, and they've been wonderful, but no one ever felt like ‘home’ like he did. And it alarmed me that the same feeling remained even after not seeing each other in person for six ish years. Sometimes it scares me that I won't ever find that again. Especially getting older, and getting all of society's messaging that I'm basically undesirable and worthless at this point. And I also sometimes wonder what it means that I could feel that way about someone who doesn't feel the same way back, and maybe that means this feeling is wrong somehow. But I don't even know what this feeling is, thats so strong it compells me to drive over eight hours not even expecting to see him but just to see the misty seaport that has held this previously nomadic ski bum/sailor/new yorker down for more than a year.

I'm not going to think about it deeper than I already have. I have come to him so much over the years. Maybe if he finally comes to LA for a bit. Maybe then. But oh my god there's a huge chunk of me that longs to sit in that office, watching the ships and him, until I get my fill of it, whenver that might be.

[shima-draws]

Me, clapping my hands: SUPPORT COURSE IZUKU! SUPPORT COURSE IZUKU!! ...WITH A PROSTHETIC!!

I’m sure people have had this idea before but I wanted to put my own spin on it!! And now for the info:

-Izuku's been fascinated with heroes since a young age. However, after finding out he was quirkless, he refused to give up, and switched gears to start investing in the support field. He figured if he couldn't be a pro hero he could at least do his best to help them and be a hero in his own way.

-Izuku's an absolute GENIUS when it comes to inventing--he's on par with Hatsume. However, Hatsume focuses more on support items that break convention and are very innovative and unique. Izuku's focus is more on items that actually help heroes on the field and support their bodies, and items that also allow them to use their quirks to their full extent while still being able to control them properly. (Basically, Izuku's gadgets act as a control stick for heroes that go all out i.e. Toshi.) He also makes a lot of gadgets that support disabled heroes, because--

-Izuku has a prosthetic arm! It's his right one. This was the result of a villain attack that he got involved in after meeting All Might. Toshi blames himself for what happened to Izuku because he couldn't get there in time. He and Izuku are very close--Izuku knows the secret behind Toshi's appearance and he knows about One For All. Mirio is the one to inherit OFA in this AU--so Izuku's very close to him as well! Izuku makes support items for both Toshi and Mirio, to support their quirks. Izuku's gadgets have saved Toshi in a pinch a hundred times over, and are designed to support him when he needs that extra push when he's already reached his limit.

There is more ahead~

-After Izuku lost his arm in the villain accident, Bakugou does a total 180 and starts treating him better. From the start their relationship was less strained than in canon bc Izuku went into doing stuff for support early on, and Bakugou didn't see this as much as a threat compared to if Izuku still wanted to be a pro hero despite being quirkless. Nowadays Bakugou is VERY protective of Izuku--and both of them have reached a point where they're genuine friends. Izuku teases Bakugou a lot and easily snarks back at him when he's being a little shit. Bakugou won't ever admit it openly but Izuku is his best friend :') He cares about him  a lot. He used to defend Izuku constantly back in middle school after the accident, but Izuku soon learned to stand up for himself.

-Going off of that, Bakugou taught Izuku how to fight physically, and they try to spar once or twice a week if they can! It's good practice. Izuku was awful at it at first especially since his sense of balance was off due to the weight of the prosthetic, but Bakugou's a good teacher despite all his shouting lmao. Now Izuku can easily hand his ass to him if he gets into it enough. He can handle himself in a fight pretty brilliantly, even against villains, and Class 1-A quickly learns not to underestimate him.

-Bakugou refuses to get support items from anybody else but Izuku. He bitches at Izuku a lot but Izuku always takes his advice--Bakugou usually offers good tips and pointers on how to improve his gauntlets! Baku always says that while Izuku fucks up all the time (false), he at least trusts him enough to get the job done, while he scorns the rest of the support course fnjdsdd

-Since Izuku isn't in Class 1-A in this AU--guess who is? Yeah, it's Shinsou! Besides Baku Shinsou is probably Izuku's other closest friend, along with Hatsume! Shinsou's got a crush on Izuku and probably knows it won't be reciprocated, but he's fine with that. If Shinsou isn't in class he's most likely hanging out in the development studio with Izuku and Hatsume. The three of them are kinda like a mini Big Three haha, they've got a reputation around UA

-Do not put Izuku and Hatsume in the same room together or they'll bounce insane ideas off of each other and create outrageous things. They get each other super fired up LMAO and go to each other for advice when they need it!

-Izuku has the biggest, most obvious and absolutely endearing crush on one (1) Shouto Todoroki. Bakugou teases him about it CONSTANTLY. The reason for this is because they actually met back in middle school, before Izuku lost his arm--and Todoroki just made a really memorable impression on him bc he was the first person to ever treat him really kindly (they bumped into each other on accident because Izuku was getting chased by bullies, Izuku scraped up his hands, Todoroki chased off the bullies and then iced his injuries, and then they had a really deep conversation about heroes and encouraged each other). Todoroki kinda becomes Izuku's first love in that sense;; ofc it's nothing super serious but Izuku definitely feels all floaty and happy about it afterward. When Izuku gets into UA and notices that Todoroki's in the hero course he almost has a stroke because 1. Izuku gave him encouragement to get into UA waaaay back then and he's shocked Todoroki actually took his advice, 2. He finds out that Todoroki is in fact Todoroki bc they never gave each other their names, so Izuku's Shook his "first love" is actually the son of Endeavor, and 3. Todoroki's grown. He was pretty back in middle school but now. He's hot. HE'S HOT OH NO. After that Izuku keeps noticing him and hears rumors that Todoroki is an ice cold prince type character that has no real feelings. Izuku's like "Someone who takes the time out of their day to save you, heal your hands, and encourage you on your path to be a hero can't be that type of person" so Izuku just KNOWS Todo's actually a very kind boy. Izuku keeps watching him and gets super smitten after the Sports Festival ;) But he's like "He's practically famous, he'd never notice somebody like me, he probably doesn’t even remember me from middle school, haha" (so it's a bit like a celebrity crush). Shinsou and Hatsume bug him about his crush just to see him get flustered and it's very cute lol

-The second time Izuku and Todoroki meet is a goddamn mess and technically counts as their first because Todoroki has a shit memory and can't connect Izuku's face to the boy he met in middle school (also that boy definitely had two flesh arms and Izuku only has one). Todoroki walks in right as one of Izuku's gadgets explodes, absolutely showering him in dust and soot. Izuku freaks out and apologizes a lot while he helps him clean up (while Hatsume is teasing in the background). Note that Izuku's only wearing like a tanktop and sweats, and his hair is all messy and swept back especially since he's wearing his trademark goggles, he's covered in sweat and dirt, he has a really cool looking prosthetic (and Todoroki didn't realize he'd have a thing for that but apparently he does), and Izuku's really fucking toned so Todoroki has a big ol Gay Crisis right there in the development studio. Izuku is INCREDIBLY attractive and Todoroki doesn't know what to do with that info. After Izuku cleans up and manages to get an order for a support item out of Todo, Todo leaves and immediately texts Momo saying, "Yaoyorozu, I think I just had my gay awakening" and on the other side of campus, Momo chokes on her drink. Meanwhile back in the studio Izuku is SCREAMING like "Oh my GOD did that really just happen--did Shouto Todoroki walk in, get blasted by one of my inventions going haywire, let me clean him up and TOUCH HIS CHEST, HATSUME, I GOT TO FEEL HIM UP, and THEN HE ASKED ME TO TAKE AN ORDER, I'M GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST. TELL MY MOTHER AND TOSHI I LOVED THEM AND TELL TODOROKI I'M SORRY FOR GETTING HIS PERFECT BEAUTIFUL HAIR DIRTY" and she's just laughing her ass off LMAOOOO

-It isn't until their third meeting that Izuku realizes Todoroki doesn't seem to remember him at ALL. And it stings, a lot (but he kinda figured this would happen esp since Todo didn’t recognize him the last time they talked), but he's still happy for the chance to know him now, and get to design support items for him!! Meanwhile Todo's like. Starting to catch on that maybe he DOES know Izuku after all? He isn't sure? But he's definitely falling for him. 

I’ve got more headcanons and stuff but yeah this is all the basics!!! I got so excited to flesh this AU out and make designs fnasjkbdnasds it’s definitely gonna be a fun one to play around with!

I want to either call this the Support Course Hero AU or maybe just Support Hero AU would work--what do you guys think?

[danses-with-dogmeat]

romanced hancock reacting to pregnant sole? (obviously not his baby, but a donor's haha)

Hancock x Pregnant! F!Sole Headcannons:

Oh look! I've been enabled yet again! No, but this is great though, I love thinking about happy companions starting a family with Sole ❤

Also, if y'all want any headcannons or anything for companions as parents please hmu, cuz my brain just naturally seems to consider that after doing these pregnancy prompts anyway 😅

Anyway, thanks for the ask, I hope you enjoy!

The ghoul always wondered whether or not his tear ducts would still work after his whole ordeal, and the news that the love of his life was ready and willing to start a family with him would certainly seek to find out. As soon as she gave the word that the donorship had worked, Hancock would be grinning wide and tearfully, with upturned brows and a trembling lip. Unable to speak at first, he would pull an equally tearful Sole into the tightest hug he could muster, their bodies flush, his arms enveloping his love as his roughened cheek pressed insistently against her smooth one. “You just made me the happiest ghoul in the whole damn world, you know that, sunshine?” He’d say just before touching his lips to her cheek in a long, drawn out, tender kiss. (The action may or may not escalate into a long trail of kisses spanning across Sole's entire face as mirthful giggles escape her lips.)

Who would've thought that this was in the cards for him? Certainly not Hancock. He thought he was lucky enough just to be in the presence of someone like Sole, but for her to return the feelings he had for her? To enthusiastically agree to being in a relationship with him? To want to start a family together? Hancock was sure he was dead, or riding the wildest high of his life, for how could this be reality for someone like him? A junkie, a bachelor, a coward, a ghoul, a flimsy torn page with "bad news" written all over it. Nah, he didn't deserve this, but damn was he overjoyed at the fact that Sole thought he did, and who was he to question her judgement?

Hancock had never thought this would be possible, the whole "baby" thing… even though he knew about donors and such, he always thought it would be too painful for Sole to consider having a family again. And with him? Of all the folks in the Commonwealth and beyond, she wanted the infamous ghoulified mayor of Goodneighbor to be a father? To her kid? He was fucking ecstatic. He didn’t quite understand why she wanted to raise a baby with him, why she thought he’d be any good at it, if she thought that. He knew he wouldn’t be the perfect fit for this kinda lifestyle; that he knew for certain, but the fact that she wanted him to try… that shit made his whole body tingle with warm gratitude from the inside out.

He would try to be calm, collected, and altogether nonchalant about the whole process in order to keep Sole relaxed. From finding the donor, to the fertilization, to the pregnancy, and all the way through to Sole going into labor, he would try to be as calm and cool as a November night. And on the outside, he'd do a damn good job, but inside? Nah, inside, this ghoul's worried sick. If anything went wrong with his sunshine, he wouldn't know what to do, he's not sure he could take a blow like that.

So, he’d try not to think too much about what could go wrong, since he knew that would only make it harder for him to be there for Sole in the way that she needed, but occasionally he’d just have those kinda days. A bad trip, a fitful night fraught with horrific dreams, a bout of horrifying overthinking as Sole uttered a pained sound from one little thing or another, or a stint of morning sickness that seemed to last just a bit too long for his liking. All of these would have the poor mayor on edge. Normally, when he was stressed, Hancock would try to chill out with some jet, or calmex, but he really was trying to give up the junkie life to the best of his irradiated abilities. It was a vicious cycle of anxiety every once in a while, but Sole was always there to help him through it. To remind him that this wasn’t her first experience with having a baby, to tell him that he was doing a wonderful job, despite his anxieties, and to remind him that they were the Sole Survivor and the Mayor of fucking Goodneighbor, and that they could face damn near anything when they were together.

Those were only the bad days though. On the good days, oh, hon... Hancock was simply blissful. Sole really is in for a treat, as she is absolutely 100% pampered and loved on, coddled and looked after for 9 months straight, and then some (minus the couple of bad days, where she has to be the one doing the coddling, but really, how could she mind?). As soon as the pair finds out that Sole really is going to have this baby, Hancock is already offering her anything she may need in order to stay safe and comfortable for the next 9 months.

Hancock’s chill personality really shines when it comes to any mood swings Sole may have, and a lifetime of chem and alcohol use has rendered the ghoul particularly skilled at cooking foods that are comforting and easy to make/eat that come in handy after bouts of morning sickness. Who knew that all of his hangover experience would come in handy like this?

While Hancock loves nothing more than going on adventures in the Commonwealth alongside his beloved, he wouldn’t say it in so many words, but would be more reluctant than usual to leave Goodneighbor or Sole’s house. When, before, he would have leapt up at the prospect of hunting down some goons and making the world a better place through some good ole fashioned violence, Hancock couldn’t think of anything worse than having Sole get injured, or potentially losing the one he loves more than anything in the world, and the possibility of a future family with her if some shit went wrong. So, while he absolutely knows she is capable and an complete beast in combat, and he recognizes that Sole can’t stay cooped up indoors for the whole 9 months, (and let’s face it, he certainly doesn’t want to either, but he’s not about to leave his love behind so he can get outta the house once in a while) he definitely steers the pair away from the areas he knows to be more sketchy than others.

Hancock just loves showing Sole off. He did this before the pregnancy as well, but man, now if anyone comes up to the pair when she starts showing, you know Hancock is already beaming as he tells the inquiring stranger just how far along she is, whether it’s a boy or a girl (if they know), or even what they think the baby’s gender is if they don’t want to know/can’t find out, how often the baby has been kicking, and he may even ask for opinions on baby names from certain kind folks who come up to chat with the parents-to-be. It’s also quite likely that he uses these passer-byes as an indirect way to further compliment Sole, saying things to them like, “Doesn’t she look gorgeous?,” “Just look at how she glows,” or “It’s just incredible how you/these ladies do this, isn’t it? Damn it if she's not the strongest person I know,” just to showcase his admiration for her. Does it sometimes result in strange looks from the strangers? Of course. Does Hancock care, or even seem to notice? Not remotely. He's too busy gawking at the love of his life and her blushing, embarrassed glory.

The mayor tends not to be rude about it unless the person ignores him, but if he notices someone smoking nearby, he will ask them to put out whatever it is, or to simply move if he and Sole were there first. In addition to that, he will make quite the lifestyle change for himself, voluntarily giving up chems to the best of his abilities so long as withdrawals don't prevent him from caring for Sole, and when he does partake, Hancock won’t do it around her, he’ll move outside or to another room. He would also offer to give up alcohol, since he knows that she won’t be able to drink with him anyway, and leave it up to her if she wants him to go cold turkey like her. Even if she doesn’t mind, he still won’t drink in excess around her during her pregnancy. It's kind of a respect thing for him, and there ain't no one he respects more than the future mother of his child.

(little bit of NSFW content here) When it comes to sex, Hancock is even more generous than usual in the bedroom (if you can believe it's possible). His every movement acts as a tribute to his appreciation for the woman he loves more than life itself. He’d be sure to be gentle, but in all honesty, Hancock wouldn’t change anything too much (no need to fix what ain't broken, ya know?). He has always paid particular attention to Sole beneath the sheets, since he’s quite experimental, and comfortable with most kinks and things himself, so he tends to let her choose positions, location, duration, and pacing, and would definitely keep it this way during the pregnancy. You think this man used to really get into body worship before, this is just a whole nuther level. As Sole puts on weight later into her pregnancy, he takes full advantage of her swelling plushness, running his hands over her body, taking the time to squeeze and palm every bit of her growing softness, constantly complimenting every bit of her as his starving eyes eat up every inch of her beauty. Especially if Sole is self-conscious about any of the changes in her body, Hancock will be sure to constantly remind her that she’s the most captivating and gorgeous person he’s ever met. No stretch mark appears on her body without being lovingly kissed, no soreness will develop without the offer of a nice, long massage (this perhaps is just another excuse to get his hands on her), no tenderness will go unnoticed and will be accounted for when his hands are roaming her body. In general, he’s as loving and doting as ever, but he's also on high alert for any signs of pain or discomfort coming from his other half.

He’d be SO excited every time the baby kicked. For some reason, the babe seems to wait until he’s around to do it, and he’s thrilled. Sole is a little weirded out by it, but she honestly takes it as a good sign. But oh man, Hancock's hands will be all up in that shit, not wanting to miss a thing as Sole smiles at him like this isn't the fourth time this has happened in one evening (does he use this as yet another excuse to touch Sole? Hmm, who knows [the answer is yes]). Sometimes he forgets to be sympathetic when Sole can't sleep due to the fluttering in her belly, but his roughened hands smoothing rhythmically over her stomach throughout the night might just help her catch a few Zzs after all.

He’s admittedly quite nervous as she approaches labor, becoming ever more protective as her belly swells to its largest point, ensuring she avoids any kinda gun fight, crazy high heights or unneeded stress, and he would be adamant about Sole sitting out any outings, missions, or other activities in the dangers of the Commonwealth. But man, would he make an environment she didn’t want to leave. Pillows, snacks, dim lighting, good conversation, music, soft touches, compliments galore, and a man who is at her constant beck and call, willing and happy to do anything and everything she might need or want? Yeah, here’s to say, Sole didn’t really want to leave anyway.

By the end of the pregnancy, Hancock has a strange mix of apprehension and denial going on. He’s used to Sole being pregnant now, he knows how to deal with everything, how to take care of her, what makes her uncomfortable and how to fix it. But a kid? An infant? He doesn’t know how babies work, doesn’t know how to tell what they want from him. He’s excited beyond belief at the thought of being a father, but he just doesn’t know how to do it. He tries to think back to his own dad, and the way that he was brought up as a kid, (though, he's not sure that's a great frame of reference given the way he turned out) and definitely goes off of Sole’s judgement, but he can’t shake the feeling that he was never meant for this. To settle down and have a family. He isn’t his dad, he’s Hancock. He’s not a “family man,” not a picturesque pre-war looking man with a normal job and a cookie-cutter backstory; he’s a self-made ghoul, a junkie, a deadbeat whose earned his position of power by bathing in the blood of tyrants who died by his own hand, and shooting his veins up with every kinda poison the wastes have to offer. How do you explain that to a kid? That he made himself the way he is, cuz he couldn’t stand the man he’d grown up to be? What the hell kinda example is that? He wouldn't doubt for a second that his baby would be the center of his world from the moment he sees it, but if anything, that only ups the anxiety that he'll do something to mess the kid up. Hancock would be nervous as shit, but if Sole had confidence in him, well… he trusts her judgement more than he does his own, so if she thinks he’s "daddy" material, he ain’t gonna argue with that. All he can do is hope she’s right, follow her lead, take it one day at a time, and hope that him trying his absolute hardest will be enough.

[fairyoftbz]

it's never too late... | b. jacob

🏀 pairing: crush! basketball player! jacob x fem!reader 🏀 genre: high school!au, fluff, (sort of) strangers/acquaintances-to-lovers 🏀 word count: 5.2k 🏀 tw: very cliché 😳 and it goes kinda fast lmaoo 🏀 a/n: lisa I'm sorry I took this long to do your request, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless!! ALSO: to my fellow Americans, here football = soccer!! 🏀 requested: yes! thank you lisa!! @skrtbabe

╰☆☆☆☆╮

You had waited for this time since the beginning of your academic journey there. Graduating from high school was two months away, and it felt just as exciting as weird.

It felt like you had started your first year last week, but the amount of work and time spent in those dull buildings makes you feel like you’ve been there for at least five years.

It was exhausting to attend classes and see the same people every single day of the year, with repetitive subjects, annoying or cool teachers depending on your luck and everything that followed. The homework, the assignments, the small -or not so small- fights between classes or groups of people, you were praying that university wouldn’t sound like that.

However, at the same time, you were almost starting to feel nostalgic for this time. The last years where you could remain a bit silly before entering the adult world, being in your last teen years with people that you appreciated and met there. You chose to do this before letting them go and live your own lives, memories that will disappear if you don’t cherish them enough.

So, with Soyeon, your best friend, you decided to enjoy the time that you had left to do things together while still studying and revising for the exams, which was sometimes not easy to do. Yes, you shared classes, but personal and private activities sometimes came in the way and prevented you from hanging out.

“It’s life after all,” she said one night over the phone as you shared your opinion on this topic, “it’s good that we can be together almost 24/7, but sometimes, things don’t allow us to be together. It might be for the best, we never know,” she said, trying to be positive no matter the situation she was in, but you knew her well. As much as she wants to appear strong, you had found her many times crying on her own. But it was her personality, and no matter how hard you tried to change her, what's bred in the bone comes out in the flesh.

Soyeon wasn’t your only friend, you were getting along well with most of your girl classmates, as well as the boys that weren’t suffocating under the number of pick-me-girls that were populating your school and your class.

Sadly for you, you’ve been eyeing the most popular (and prettiest) boy in your whole school since you crossed gaze with him at the very beginning of your first year there. Jacob, your crush, was also the star basketball player of your school, and constantly surrounded and attracting cheerleaders or rich, random, good-looking girls, which had a knack for getting on your nerves. He was always spending time together with his pals and teammates, but other people as well. Everyone wanted to be his friend because you know, he had a promising career ahead of him, so it was always nice to be friends with a potential future celebrity.

As defeated as you were, there was still a small voice in your head telling you to do something before he left to go back to his home country, South Korea, where he had a career already planned and traced out.

You were confused as it was almost impossible for you to get a chance with him since you were not one of those girls and you simply couldn’t compete against them, but Soyeon and her boyfriend Sunwoo were always there to praise you and reassure you about your potential chances of dating him. Never convinced by your friends’ words, you had tried many times to get him out of your head and focus on someone else, but it never worked. Everything came back to him. He was unique and oh so nice, everything reminded you of him, and it was sickening at this point.

“He won't get out of my head, it’s getting on my nerves,” you shared your thoughts to your best friend as you braced your head in your hands, slapping your cheeks as if it were going to change anything and help you throw Jacob out of your brain.

“Why do I keep this stupid boy in my head when I know I don’t stand a single chance against those girls,” you slapped your cheeks harder and whined as Soyeon’s hand landed on your wrist.

“Y/N, stop your nonsense. You are perfect, you don’t need to change anything for him!”

“It’s easier said than done, you pulled the football star player!” you exclaimed, and she rolled her eyes, shifting closer to whisper.

“He pulled me because he knew that I am pretty, and that wouldn’t change a single thing for him. If he’s not happy with who I am, he can leave,” she shrugs, signalling you to do the same if you dated Jacob.

Sunwoo was also among the popular boys, but your friend remained the same, not even trying to fit in with the popular girls. She claimed that Sunwoo fell in love with her for her true self, so she didn’t see the point of changing to please other people. And you wished you had her confidence and her strength, admiring her for not changing anything about herself to please others.

Back to the present.

You felt stuck, desperately in love with an unapproachable boy who was too popular and way out of your league to be lucky to have his eyes sparing you any sort of attention. Even if he was a sweet young man, he was always surrounded by popular people, who were trying to hook up or use him for his school fame and sharp features.

One day, while studying with your best friend at the library, Sunwoo and one of his friends, Hyunjae, the football captain, burst into the library and come not so quietly to your table.

“For the love of God, can you both be quiet for once?” Soyeon whispered-yelled but her voice got toned down by Sunwoo vividly pressing his lips on hers, an arm wrapping around her shoulders. Hyunjae laughed but quickly gagged as they didn’t stop the kiss as quickly as the captain wished.

“Gosh, please, get a room,” he mumbled before hugging you, your knee resting against his as his arms pressed you against his chest.

Your friendship with Hyunjae felt more like siblings, he was genuinely nice and caring with you, making sure that you were okay and that you had enough of everything before allowing you to go home. Despite all the teasing and a few rumours going around school, you were not dating and didn’t have any romantic feelings for each other. He simply checked that you had an older brother figure since you were the first-born child, and it felt relieving.

The thing you did not know was that Jacob and a few of his basketball teammates, Juyeon, Eric and Younghoon, were a few tables away from yours, your back facing them, the future star looking at you and Hyunjae from the corner of his eyes. He nodded at his friend at your table, who gave him a wink as an answer, Jacob’s eyes burning holes into your back as Hyunjae was close to you. Too close to you for the basketball player not to feel something churn in his stomach.

Two long, manicured fingers snapped in front of his eyes to get him out of his reverie, lazily looking at the girl that sat across from him, who he was supposed to get help from.

“Jacob please, pay attention to meeeeee,” she whined and pouted, giving him puppy eyes that he couldn’t give a single fuck about, too busy in his mind to hear what she had to say.

She had volunteered to help him study History, but she wasn’t any better, probably worse than he was. It was already the third time Juyeon corrected her basic knowledge without being an expert himself, not even caring about the death glares she kept sending him. It only made him smirk as he knew it irked her dearly yet amused the rest of the table a lot.

They all sighed as she finally took the hint and left their table, Jacob bitterly chuckling as Hyunjae rolled his eyes when she walked past your table, his demeanour making you laugh.

╰☆╮

“Bro, do you think I should ask Y/N for help? Isn’t that a bit… lame?” Jacob sat on one of the soccer balls, hands joined and panting as Sunwoo practised his dribbling skills before shooting the ball in the cages, aiming for the up-right corner. He trotted to his friend and collapsed on the grass next to him, the last rays of sunshine offering his skin a wonderful, honey glow. He ruffled his hair after plopping down, checking his phone for any message before answering.

“If you need help, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask her. I mean, she’s super smart in every subject, but she’s just the boss in History. Her presentations are always golden, and she explains things a lot better than some of the teachers.”

“I got Smith as a teacher,” the basketball player grimaced, his left hand holding his right wrist as his gaze wandered in the grass.

“We’ve got Antal, and I can tell you that she’s always mad when Y/N does a presentation because they honestly just sound better than her lessons,” Sunwoo chuckled as Jacob pondered his friend’s words, the gears of his mind working at full speed.

How is he going to be able to approach you and get to talk to you?

╰☆╮

“Bestie, no. I swear I saw that in the other book,” you said as you found yourself back in the library the following week, bending over the table to grab the book your best friend was resting hers on. You started flipping some pages when a loud, masculine chortle followed by some whispers of annoyance drawing your attention.

“Hi, babe! Hi Hyunj- Oh hi Jacob!” your neck almost snapped as you abruptly lifted your head up at the mention of your crush’s name, a small, embarrassed smile making its way on your mouth. You were a bit sad that your brother best friend was not here with Sunwoo, but you weren’t going to complain to have your crush instead.

“Can I sit here?” the basketball player asked in a soft voice while pointing at the empty spot next to you, making you quickly nod and gather your stuff to make him some space.

You resumed searching for the precious paragraph you were searching for your project as if it were nothing, trying to ignore your stammering heart in your chest and the couple eating each other's mouths. The only thing you hoped was that Jacob couldn’t hear the loud, irregular beats in your ribcage because it would give in your attraction to him.

“Hum, Y/N?” the voice next to you made you flinch, surprised that he knew your name and that he said it aloud.

“Y-Yes?” you said, cursing in your head as you stuttered.

“I heard that you were the Ace when it came to History,” Jacob started, and you couldn’t look at him in the eyes, fire spreading in your chest up to your face.

“I can’t really say that I’m the Ace, but I really love that subject, so yeah I have some… knowledge,” words tripped over your tongue, and your best friend pulled away from Sunwoo and scoffed.

“Some knowledge? Are you kidding?” she said, Sunwoo placing a hand on her mouth as she was louder than intended. She removed his palm and furrowed her brows at him, before turning her head back at you with the same angry expression.

“She knows so fucking much that Antal hates her because she feels humiliated compared to Y/N. So let me tell you one thing, Cobbie, if you need help, you’ve come to the right person. Y/N is just a living encyclopaedia,” your best friend proudly smirked as you glowered at her, Sunwoo chuckling at his girlfriend’s behaviour before immediately stopping.

“Wait, did you call him Cobbie? How come you call him like that when I get nothing other than babe or baby?” Sunwoo argued while pouting, and your best friend sighed, ruffling his hair before pressing her lips against his one more time, making you slightly grimace as envy flooded your veins.

You sighed and dared to look at Jacob, who was reading the beginning of your essay written on your computer, leaving Sunwoo and your best friend bicker like the cute couple they were.

“Do you have this project too?” you asked, and he shook his head, eyes remaining glued on the computer screen.

“It’s so interesting what you wrote, I like your way of writing and explaining stuff,” he offered a small smile as he looked at you, clearing his throat. For someone that was super popular and constantly surrounded by friends or people at parties, he behaved and sounded quite like an introvert.

“W-Well, thank you,” you said with a smile and turned your head to the side for a second, taking a deep breath before looking back at him, opening a new tab on your computer after he gestured to you that he was done reading.

“What do you need help with?”

╰☆╮

You were astonished at how quick-minded Jacob was. Behind his fit, muscular appearance and obsession with basketball, he had the soul of a thinker and grasped the knowledge of historical concepts quite easily and rapidly. He just wasn’t good with the way Smith was teaching, the method not suiting him.

“You retain things well for someone who hates History,” you joked, and he shyly smiled, scratching his neck. His smile looked gorgeous, and you were pleasantly surprised at how much of a genuine person he was.

“Well, History is not my cup of tea, but it might be a bit more thanks to you,” he said, and you tried to stifle a smile, thankful that your best friend was no longer sitting across from you because she wouldn’t have let you two live.

“It’s nothing. You can come back to me if you need help, I really don’t mind. I actually like explaining things,” you said, and he nodded, clicking your pen close before placing it in your pouch.

“Thank you, really. Sunwoo was actually the one that told me about you, so I have to thank him as well,” you stood up and slowly started to pack your stuff, shutting down your computer with a smile.

“I’m glad he did so, I just hope it was positive,” you giggled, and he quickly joined you, twirling his pen in between his fingers as he cleared his throat.

“You know, it’s Sunwoo. It can only be nice and positive,” you genuinely smiled at him and fall in silence, throwing glances at each other from time to time as the conversation was slowly starting to die down.

“And... How’s basketball going by the way? Is everything going well?” you asked, and his heart skipped a beat at your question as it took him off guard.

“I-It’s going pretty well, I’m excited to finish high school to be able to focus on basketball. I’m gonna have to take some of my last finals in South Korea because the season and the training start pretty early in Summer so…” his voice trailed as his eyes widened, a hand slapping his mouth as you both stood up.

“What?” you quizzed, confused by his sudden change of behaviour.

“I… was meant to keep this a secret,” his voice trailed, the end of his sentence falling in a whisper as he started panicking. “Can we pretend you didn’t hear what I said?” he asked as you placed your bag strap on your shoulder, taking your sweater before pushing the chair against the table.

“Said what?” you replied with a smile, and Jacob sighed in relief, somehow feeling like his secret was safe with you, even if you’ve talked to him for the first time at the beginning of the afternoon.

╰☆╮

The rest of the month rolled off smoothly, yet the stress and the revisions became more intense as the days went by. You didn’t hear anything back from Jacob, but you’ve caught him staring at you a few times, offering him an awkward wave and a smile as not to get noticed by some of his “fan girls”, as they called themselves.

You still had a whole month left before finals, and you felt blessed as summer decided to start a bit earlier this year. It was only the beginning of May, but you were already able to wear shorts and dresses. It felt good to see the blue sky and being surrounded by the warmth of the sun hitting your exposed skin after the cold, lonely winter and spring you’ve just got out of. Everything looked prettier and warmer, and it did nothing but make you happier and brighter, despite the stress of the finals piling up on your shoulders.

So, to get rid of this pressure, you decided to leave town with Hyunjae and let him drive to one of the lakes that surrounded your town, knowing that the beach and parks would get crowded in no time. It was a place that you used to go to with your parents when you were still a child, memories that you shared with your friend coming back flooding in your mind.

Hyunjae and his family tagged along to give you some company and take care of you as your parents were busy looking after your newborn twin sisters, Hyunjae and his younger brother acting like elder siblings to you.

After driving for a few dozens of minutes, you settled your stuff in the shade, right under a weeping willow that offered you freshness throughout the entire day. Your best friend napped almost the entire time you were there, hand lingering on his abs while the other plucked out some grass until he dozed off, trying to store as many hours of rest as possible before finals. By his side was you, reading a book and enjoying the chilly water to cool down from the hot temperatures of early Summer, playfully nudging the young man next to you each time he was starting to snore.

It’s near the middle of the afternoon that you heard another car pulling up near the lake, a bunch of excited teenagers coming out of a van. You didn’t pay much attention to them, only sighing as your peace was about to get ruined, their screams when they jumped in the water woke your best friend up.

He abruptly sat up next to you and rubbed his eyes, some sleeping marks lingering on his face, making you giggle. Being the short-sighted idiot that he was, he squinted to try and recognise some people, but he didn’t have to.

A young woman screamed and started jumping up and down, waving her arms above her head in your direction, hearing her scream something towards you.

You looked at each other with Hyunjae, confusion painted on your faces, hearing your phone buzz in your small bag hidden by your folded clothes.

“Hello?” you said as Hyunjae’s phone started vibrating too, picking up the call as well.

“Y/N, it’s us! We’re on the opposite side of the lake! Come and join us!” you heard your best friend yell in your ear, hearing her as well through Hyunjae’s phone, who picked up a call from her boyfriend.

“Okay, we’re coming!” you excitingly said as you hung up, waving at your best friend from your spot as you started packing your stuff to get back in the car and meet up with your friends.

Your best friend excitingly jumped in your arms as soon as you got out of the car,

“Tt’s crazy how we’re so connected! Did you also think that the beach would be crowded?” she asked, and you nodded with a smile, happy to see her this joyful to see you.

The inseparable duo was here, as well as Younghoon, Jacob, Eric, Juyeon and Sangyeon, the striker of the football team. They all engulfed you in a tight hug, Jacob staying in the background the entire time.

“Hi Jacob!” you brightly said and wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him close. “Hi Y/N,” his answer vibrated in his chest and had repercussions in yours, sending your heart flying in your ribcage.

You looked so good being this carefree, it was thankfully a sight that he managed to imprint in his mind despite the shortness of the moment. Being surrounded by all your friends felt so good that you forgot to be awkward and worry about the stupidest things, and Jacob adored seeing you this natural and smiling in the company of your friends. He was a bit sad that he wasn’t fully the reason for your smile though, but he still managed to enjoy the rest of the day with you and your mutual friends, whether you were on the ground or in the water.

Sangyeon, Younghoon and Juyeon copied Hyunjae and joined him in a restoring nap, while Eric, Sunwoo, Jacob, Soyeon and you played different games in the water, improvising a volleyball match with an imaginary net and the ball Sunwoo took with him as the volleyball, but it did the job. It was just a bit hurtful for the liberos since it wasn’t as soft and bouncy as a volleyball, but the joy of the moment allowed any type of pain to become bearable.

The evening eventually started to settle in, and you all got out of the water, drying yourselves before deciding to spend a part of the night here. You helped Sangyeon build a bonfire in the safe area by bringing some different branches, the eldest placing them correctly before lighting them with his pocket lighter.

“Hyung! I didn’t know you were a boy-scout,” Sunwoo exclaimed and made everyone laughed as you all were sliding some marshmallows on a stick, Sangyeon smiling with modesty at everyone.

“Ya, don’t say this,” Sangyeon mumbled, and you smile, rubbing his upper back as he sat down next to you, thanking him when you handed him over his marshmallow stick.

“Oh no! Mine burnt,” Soyeon pouted when she retrieved her snack from the flames, and her boyfriend was quick to give her his sweets, Eric cooing at the gesture of affection.

“Give it to me, I like them burnt,” he mumbled as he bit in the fluffy texture, immediately regretting it as it was boiling. His girlfriend handed him water as he stood up, bouncing up and down to try and reduce what felt like flames in his mouth.

“Oh my, thanks babe,” he muttered with his mouth stuffed when he gulped down everything with a pained expression on his face. Eric’s eyes filled with boredom locked into yours and you both chuckled, your friend shaking his head.

“When is it gonna be my turn,” he huffed and Sunwoo hit him playfully in the back as you all laughed around the bonfire, relating to your friend.

“When you’ll stop being obsessed with football and mango juice,” Eric grunted and folded his arms over his chest as Sangyeon called him out, making you coo and playfully run to him, holding him against you as he fake-cried on your chest while everyone was laughing at him.

Except for Jacob, who only offered a weak smile, but you didn’t catch it, too busy having fun and being light-hearted with your friends.

After your stomachs were filled with sweets and soda, Sunwoo pulled out his guitar and strummed a soft melody until some became heavy-eyed or fell asleep against the other, his girlfriend succumbing to his musical talents first. Jacob looked exhausted as well but forced his eyes open, finding him even hotter with hooded eyelids and his hair slightly curling with the humidity of the air and the lake water.

When it was time to go home, Hyunjae, as well as Younghoon, Sunwoo, Soyeon and Eric decided to jump into Hyunjae’s car to go to the beach, feeling the urge and the thrill of going skinny-dipping. On the other hand, you and the rest of the boys were too exhausted and modest to do this, only wanting to go home and get some good rest.

Just like they had arrived, Sangyeon was behind the wheel while the rest was either next to him or in the back seat. And you didn’t know how it happened, but you got stuck between the window and Jacob, who was struggling to keep his eyes open.

“You good?” you asked, and he turned his head towards you before offering you a tired yet sweet smile, moving his head up and down.

“I'm just exhausted, tonight was simply amazing,” he mumbled, and you expressed your agreement by a happy hum and a nod, bringing your attention to your eldest friend.

“Are you sure you’re awake enough to drive?” you enquired on the current situation and Sangyeon looks at you through the inner rear-view mirror, eyes forming two crescent moons as he smiled.

“I just jumped in the water, I’m nothing but awake,” he clapped in his hands to motivate himself and started the engine, your best friend’s car already gone.

Jacob rested his head against the headrest and closed his eyes, his head rolling to the side each time Sangyeon took a turn. You settled yourself on the window and let the vibrations of the car lull you to sleep, the small talk that Sangyeon and Juyeon were having in the front seats acted like a background noise, which helped you dozing off.

However, when the car pulled up in front of your house, they didn’t expect you to have your head resting against Jacob’s shoulder, his hand on your knee. The two men smiled at each other before Sangyeon got out of the vehicle, drawing the door open. As he was about to carry you to your doorstep, Jacob’s arm was quick to wrap itself around your waist, keeping you close to him.

You woke up confused, blinking a few times as you saw the striker standing next to you with a wide smile on his face. He removed a limb around your body, and you felt someone groan under your right shoulder, noticing in dread that you snuggled up to Jacob for some warmth in your sleep.

“You gotta go before the beast wakes up,” Sangyeon joked and winked as he helped you get out of the car, closing the door behind you. It opened again a few seconds later, Jacob looking just as confused as you were.

“Come on, lovebirds, we don’t have the night.”

“Lovebirds?” Jacob and you asked in unison, the basketball player rubbing his eye with the back of his hand. He jumped out of the van and gestured to Sangyeon to get back in.

“You can go, I live just around the corner,” he drowsily said as he vaguely gestured behind him.

“You sure? Your house is on my way back home, I can drop you off,” Sangyeon suggested but he refused, offering a handshake to the striker before letting him go.

Being more awake now, you waved at your friends driving away before turning to your crush, who looked even more adorable as he was super sleepy and just woke up.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay? You look really tired,” you asked, voice still laced with sleep yet sounding caring, which made Jacob’s heartbeat fasten. He nodded and weakly smiled, taking a step closer to you. His attitude was a bolt from the blue as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you to him, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“You felt so warm during the ride, it’s almost like I could get used to this,” he tiredly said with a smile, gently pulling away to stare at you, his fingers leaving your back to come and slide a wild piece of hair behind your ear. Your whole body stiffened at his words as he stared at you in the eyes, noticing a small, washed-out smirk plastered on his face.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit... late to start something with someone? I mean, we have finals and then y-you’re le-leaving for South Korea and-” you started stammering as his thumb gently stroked your cheek, loving watching you lose your composure at his display of affection.

“It’s never too late when you love someone,” he whispered, feeling his warm breath tickling your lips in such a delicious manner that you have to resist the urge to move forward and press your lips against his.

His words punched the air out of your lungs, leaving you breathless as he kissed your cheek, mouth slowly moving to the side until it reached your lips. The kiss was soft yet a bit on the rougher side as if he wanted you to understand every feeling he had for you. Instinctively, your arms wrapped around his shoulders, and you kissed him harder, deeper, his hands on your lower back pulling you flush against him.

You had dreamt, wondered about what it was like kissing Jacob, but it never felt as good as you were experiencing it now. Fireworks and butterflies were erupting in your stomach, leaving you dizzy with love and passion as one of his hands came and cupped your cheek, the pad of his thumb gently caressing the skin.

Once you pulled away for oxygen, you held onto his shoulders for your dear life and he chuckled, his mouth slowly travelling down to your neck.

“I-I think my… my- oh my god, my parents will worry,” you gently pushed him away and he stared at you with a smile before diving in to capture your lips in another soft kiss.

“I'm only letting you go if you're free tomorrow. Let's put that off to tomorrow, shall we?” he asked, and your eyes widened at his suggestion.

“We can go back to the lake if you want, but only if we’re alone,” he said, his hand caressing your cheek while the other was busy stroking your upper back up and down.

“I want to enjoy this with you and you only,” he added, mumbling against your mouth and this time, you’re the one pulling him for a kiss.

“Come and pick me up at 10, then,” you said as you pulled away.

“I’ll be there, I promise,” he answered and started walking towards your house, closing the front gate behind you, waving at him with a smile.

He sent you a flying kiss with a smile and you waved at him one last time before closing the main door of your house behind you, both sighing with a huge smile and warmth painted on your faces.

You peeled the clothes off your skin and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower, shaking your head left to right while chuckling as you recalled what just happened in your last month of high school.

Nothing was making sense, you didn’t know how you got there, but you were happy.

And that’s what mattered the most.

[ptergwen]

from one kid to another

w/c: 6.0k

warnings: mentions of drinking, lots of swearing, implied smut, and angst at times

summary: it was a mistake, a beautiful one that you didn’t make on your own

a/n: this genuinely is my favorite thing i’ve ever written :,) i say that a lot but this time i mean it, it’s really special i think and i so so so hope y’all do too <3 enjoy my loves

-

there’s only one thing in life that testing positive for is actually positive.

depending on the situation, obviously. yours isn’t ideal, or planned or a blessing or whatever people say. it’s a gigantic mistake that you didn’t realize you made until a minute ago.

you’d noticed something was wrong when your time of the month came and all you experienced was the symptoms. cramps, cravings, everything except your actual period. as everyone is pretty much taught to do, you ran to the closest drug store for a pregnancy test. what the hell else could it be? you messed around a few weeks ago, so there’s a possibility.

your heart felt like it was going to explode out of your chest the whole time you waited for the results. you’d thought of calling tom over for support, but there are a couple of reasons why you couldn’t do that. you realized you made the right decision when your timer for the test went off.

two red lines. you’re pregnant. you’re pregnant, and your best fucking friend is the father.

where do you go from here?

the test falls from your hand and hits the floor with a mocking clank. you slide down until your back is against the bathtub. well, you’re fucked. what an ironic word choice.

the fact that you aren’t ready in the slightest to be a parent when you’re still growing up yourself is one thing. it’s another that this could ruin the most important relationship you’ve ever had.

no, tom won’t be mad. he’s never once fought with or even raised his voice at you. in your times of need, he’s been the one to uplift you and kiss your puffy cheeks dry. no matter how he takes this, you know it won’t be out on you. he is half responsible.

but, with how you left things the last time you spoke, you’re not sure you’ll be able to get past it.

tom is alarmingly good at hiding how he truly feels. you always tease him that it’s because he’s a gemini. he’ll come back with shut up, i’m an actor and stick his nose in the air to give you the full image. in all seriousness, it does take a toll on how well he can communicate.

you’ve seen it in small ways, like when he brings you along for press days and uses unenthusiastic smiles to cover up his yawns. how he’ll be polite in a conversation with people he’d rather not speak to, then mumble about it once you’re home. he tries to put forward the “appealing” parts of himself even though he’s more than them.

tom’s biggest communication issue is that he’s been in love with you since year nine and hasn’t said a word about it. you’ve yet to figure that one out.

you two became friends while tom was starring in billy elliot. his schedule was so scattered between shows and school, so he struggled to balance both. he often had to stay late for extra help on the lessons. you’d also been there a few times. you worked better in the classroom, and he was grateful he didn’t have to be alone with the teacher.

most kids made fun of tom for his interest in theater, to his face and behind his back. not you. you thought it was just incredible that someone in your own classes worked at the west end. you’d told him on your way home one night.

he’d heard you before he saw you. “you’re tom, right?” you asked from behind him, the two of you making your way through the hall. the question sounded friendly, and it wasn’t every day kids were nice to him. tom stopped walking so you could catch up. “yes, and you are?” you gave him a small smile, books clutched to your chest. he instantly returned it.

“y/n. i heard you’re in billy elliot?” you laughed at your understatement, then corrected yourself. “that you are billy elliot, i mean. that’s so cool.” “oh, i am. thank you,” he chuckled back, a full grin taking over his face. you were both walking again, you by tom’s side. “i was hoping to come see you soon.” your voice got quieter as you told him, like you were nervous.

tom never had much luck with girls, not at this point in his life. this was an opportunity to change that. at the very least, to make a new friend. he offered something you said yes to without a beat of hesitation. “what if i got you the tickets?”

from then on, you began talking during class and not only when it ended. tom really knew how to keep the conversation going, telling story after story that left you laughing so much your teacher would shush you. you’d eventually moved to hangouts at either of your houses. harrison came into the mix at some point, the three of you forming your own group.

the difference between tom and harrison was that while harrison linked with other girls, tom was only interested in you. he’d gotten a crush on you pretty fast, if he was being honest. it might have been your shared sense of humor or the way you said his name.

thomas, when he was being cheeky. tommy, which took the place of a pet name. even regular tom. that might have been his favorite. he loved how it rolled off your tongue. he loved, and still loves, you.

you’d gone to all of tom’s performances you possibly could, the ones for school theater included. you also gave him the push to take his talents to hollywood. tom was afraid he wasn’t cut out for the big screen, that he needed more practice and experience first. you told him that if this was what he wanted to do, he had to start somewhere. why wait?

tom then landed his first movie role in the impossible at the age of fifteen. he’d received tons of praise and almost gotten nominated for an academy award, all because you convinced him to audition. you played a huge part in keeping him grounded when he was between films, and caught him up on whatever schoolwork he’d missed.

you practically zoomed to tom’s house when he was announced as the next spider-man. you’d been constantly refreshing every social media platform marvel was on since tom became a finalist for the part. that process was probably the most difficult experience he’s ever gone through. you’d know, having heard all about it from tom.

the two of you celebrated along with the rest of tom’s family that night. you kept giving him little proud of you squeezes on his shoulder or knee. tom is eternally indebted to you for being the most supportive of everything he does.

he of course sends the support right back. although he went down the movie star path, acting wasn’t for you. you’d gone off to university and studied hard as hell and aced all your shit. tom quizzed you on material whenever you needed. he wanted to help you somehow, and this was all you’d let him do.

he’d offered to pay off your loans and any other expenses necessary because he had the money to do that now. you refused every single time, not trying to become dependent on him. he admired your drive, yet hated it at the same time. everything you’d done for him, it was his turn to be the caretaker. it should’ve been.

whenever tom wrapped filming for the holidays and came back home, you were always preparing for final exams. he kept you company, content with simply being in your presence. you typed away on your keyboard and read over notes until your eyes burned. tom occasionally brought you snacks, tea, asked how you were and what he could do.

sometimes, he would have to cut your study time short. he’d say it wasn’t healthy or you were overdoing it and to come relax with him for a bit. other times, tom let you be. he didn’t want to get in the way of your already stressful assignments. those were the nights you’d fall asleep in front of your laptop. drool on your chin, hunched over at your desk.

tom made sure to tuck you in, press a light kiss to whatever part of your face wasn’t covered in spit, then let himself out. he knew where your spare key was, so he used that. you’d wake up to a “Fell asleep studying again. Rest today x” text the next morning.

when it came time for you to graduate, tom was on the first flight there. it was during another round of reshoots for chaos walking. he respectfully told doug that he’d have to work around his schedule or replace him, which couldn’t be done so late into filming. tom didn’t care that it made him seem like a prick. he was getting to you no matter what he had to do.

he’d earned plenty of stares and whispers from people as he took his seat in the crowd. he was a proper celebrity now, so he expected it. his solution was to ignore everything and chat with your family about how proud they were of you, tom the most. he saw you go from a kid attempting algebra equations to an adult at her uni graduation. you’ve really grown up together.

it was why he teared up hearing them call your name, seeing you beam as you walked across the stage. your mom grabbed his hand and nodded at him, like she could tell exactly what was going through his head.

you ran right up to tom after the ceremony was over, leaping into his arms. he let out a couple of chuckles as he spun you around. “i didn’t think you’d make it,” you’d admitted, happy yet sad tears in your eyes. tom put you down so he could pull you in for a real hug. “i’ll always be wherever you are, y/n,” he said into your ear, rocking you while you gripped at his suit collar.

flash forward to a year later, your career is finally taking off, tom’s is flourishing like it has been for years, and you’re pregnant with his child. you’re trying to recall the series of events that led you to this moment.

you were both drunk, blackout drunk because the only reason you remember sleeping together is that you woke up naked in the same bed. harrison’s bed.

he threw a housewarming party for himself, having recently moved out of tom’s and the other boys’ place. the three of them, sam, and you were all in attendance, along with a lot of others you hadn’t met.

neither you nor tom could figure out where he knew all those people from. he’d clinged to you two for the most part, more so you now with tom usually away. they could have been from work. harrison is breaking into the business himself, small roles here and there. tom actually met him in your school’s theater program, then he introduced him to you, ten years ago already.

sam entertained himself by making concoctions with the snacks harrison set out. harry got together a playlist for the party. harrison and tuwaine struck up a conversation with some of harrison’s actor friends. that left you and tom alone, out of stuff to do, and with one way to fix it.

“drink?” tom had asked you, a smirk playing on his lips. “love one,” you hummed back and set off for the kitchen. the two of you raided harrison’s liquor cabinet, grabbing his biggest bottle of wine. he’d dumbly pointed it out during the house tour he gave you before the other guests arrived.

you were about to search for glasses, but tom’s fingers threaded through yours. he gently tugged you away and nodded behind him. “let’s bring this upstairs. seems much more fun there,” he’d murmured over the music, a grin breaking across your face.

tom is big on clubbing and socializing, however, you aren’t. he comes up with ways to get you out of these events, just in case.

“we can break in harrison’s bed for him,” you said as a completely harmless joke, no intentions of that becoming your reality later on. spoiler alert: it did. “and how are we gonna do that?” tom quirked a suggestive eyebrow and breathed out a laugh as you dragged him towards the stairs. despite yourself, you’d giggled at his words.

not one drink in either of you yet, and you were stumbling and cracking up as you ran upstairs. you’d pulled tom by your still attached hands into what you remembered as harrison’s room. tom shut the door, locked it, saying under his breath that would be a “convenient investment” for him to make as well.

he took out a bottle opener that he must have put in his pocket at some point and got to work on your wine, you getting comfortable on the new mattress. the two of you passed it to the other after every sip, tom licking the taste of your lip gloss off his own lips every so often.

the equivalent of three drinks in, you were making out. both of you were just tipsy at this point, tom holding you by your hips as you lied down, your legs around his waist. god, he could’ve done this sober. he’d dreamed about kissing you, really kissing you since he was fourteen. you’d always felt like you two had something more. ah, there it was.

halfway through the bottle got you past the next two bases, and you were ready for the fourth and ultimate one by the time you shook the last few drops onto the tip of your tongue. tom groaned at the sight of that, drawing your half naked body in closer to his.

you two had forgotten to use protection in each of your drunken states. without a doubt, you both would’ve agreed to a condom had your minds not been everywhere but where they should have.

you’d woken up first the morning after, panic immediately coursing through your veins thicker than blood. a fully nude and sleeping tom had you in his embrace, arms secured around your middle, facing you. you gasped when you made the connection, loudly enough to wake tom up. his long eyelashes tickled your face, a confused pout on his lips. uh... um...

“did we fucking...” you trailed off, no words to describe whatever unfolded. “fuck?” tom finished for you. a very blunt explanation, but true nevertheless. “looks like it,” he rasped, pout changing into a smile. your face fell at the vague memories of how you spent your night.

you definitely wanted to do it. just, he’s your best friend, who’s seen you at your least sexy moments over the years. when you were sick, had breakdowns from stress, you name literally anything, tom was there. it took one bottle of cheap wine for him to forget that?

the real answer was no. tom is entirely in love with you, for a decade at that. you were beginning to discover you feel the same, only you had no idea he already loves you. you’d assumed this was meant to be merely a hookup. from the frown your face held, he’d thought you were regretting it. oh, were you both so wrong.

“um... we don’t have to talk about it,” tom told you halfheartedly, under the impression that’s what you preferred. you physically felt yourself get weaker in tom’s strong arms. he’s not interested. “yeah, that’s probably for the best. i...” you were lying. his heart shrunk, shriveled up inside his chest. she doesn’t love me like that.

“you have to go. aren’t you behind on some emails?” tom hoped you didn’t hear his voice strain from the tears pushing at his eyes. “right. almost forgot, thanks.” you’d plastered on a smile, slipping out of his grasp. a tear rolled down his cheek, so he wiped it away before you noticed. you’d already gotten out of the bed and begun picking your clothes up off the floor.

“i’ll drive you home, then.” he rolled on to his other side, you thought so he could give you privacy to change. it was that, and also because he was crying. he couldn’t hold it in. tom is naturally an emotional person. imagine finding out the love you’ve had almost half your life is unreciprocated. it’s soul crushing.

you two found harrison snoring and on top of tuwaine as you left the house. no silly remarks or shared glances for the first time in ten years. tom couldn’t muster anything up, and you felt numb.

the drive was painful. you’d said your goodbyes after tom pulled up to the curb, which held an odd weight to them. once you were out of the car, a sob wracked through him, banging on the steering wheel and not giving a shit about the loud horn going off. you collapsed face first onto your bed. hours passed by while you stared at nothing and contemplated everything.

since it happened, you haven’t spoken much. small talk over text every few days or so, both of you pretending things are normal for the other’s sake. about a month later, today, is when you found out you’re pregnant.

there’s no use wallowing in any of this. you need to figure out your next move, one that should probably involve tom. first, you want to talk to someone else. you want other opinions and a voice in your head that isn’t your own. harrison gets a text from you saying to come over now, the now in all caps. he does.

you let him in after the second knock, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. however torn you are, you must look it. shirt balled in your fists, lip quivering. he keeps his eyes on yours as he steps inside, pushing the door shut behind him. this is all becoming too real. “y/n, are you okay?”

you’re about to cry in three, two...

“haz, i fucked up,” you choke out, tears unable to stay at bay. he takes you into his arms for a hug. half your face is hidden in his shoulder, hands clutching at his back. he lets you cry it out, holding you until your heavy breathing steadies. “what’s happened?” harrison asks quietly, both of you leaving the hug.

“if- if i tell you, you can’t freak out. you can’t tell anyone else, either,” you instruct, searching his eyes for certainty that he won’t under any circumstances. “i won’t, y/n/n,” he assures you and puts an encouraging hand on your arm. your heart pounding abnormally fast, you spit it out. your first time saying it aloud. “i’m pregnant.”

harrison flinches and doesn’t even try to conceal it. he takes his hand off of you, worry swimming across his features. he blinks at you, unsure of what to say. you’d react the same way, maybe worse, so you don’t blame him. a discussion you, him, and tom had a couple years back replays in his mind.

the three of you were talking about your futures, seeing as you were close to living them. when tom asked you two where you stood on having your own families, you didn’t hesitate to answer. “nope, the factory is closed for a long ass time.” until you were in your thirties, you aimed to focus on yourself. harrison distinctly remembered because of how you phrased it.

“you’re... you... wow,” is all he replies with. you head over to the couch, more tears welling up in your eyes. do the pregnancy hormones act up this early? harrison follows you over and sits down next to you with an awkward clearing of his throat. “do you want to be pregnant?” he has to ask because he’s not sure if he should congratulate you or what.

“i don’t know,” you answer honestly, voice airy. your eyes are fixed on the wall in front of you. you haven’t given yourself time to think about it. there are so many reasons you don’t, and a single one you do. “do you, um, know who the dad is?” harrison glances over at you. “yeah.” your voice cracks. you’re both afraid for him to ask what he does next.

he shifts so he’s sitting up. “can i know?” a sniffle passing through you, you finally look at him. “it’s tom,” you say it before you lose the nerve to. harrison’s face doesn’t change this time. he isn’t surprised you and tom went there. he’d seen your friendship growing into more the older you all got. what he can’t believe is where it took you.

his best friend pregnant, and his other best friend responsible for it.

“when did you...” “at your party,” you explain, bringing your legs up so they’re criss cross on the couch. “i thought you were gone a little too long.” he says that to try cheering you up. you appreciate the effort, but it doesn’t work. you’re not in a joking mood. he’ll stick to the main issue. “so, have you told him?”

“clearly not,” you scoff, not at him but at what you two have gotten yourselves into. “y/n... i think you should tell him,” harrison sighs out, then adds, “whether you keep it or not.” “why? that would ruin everything, it already has.” you’re getting angry now, which plunges you into angry crying, voice unsteady as you go on.

“the last time i saw tom was that night, and i guess it meant more to me than it did to him because we haven’t talked about it at all. he didn’t want to.” you swipe the back of your hand across your eyes, gaze stern compared to harrison’s soft one.

he drapes an arm around your shoulders, you curling into him with another sniffle. he doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he tries again. “i know you, y/n, and i know tom. you’ll kill yourselves not talking about this.” he’s right, no shit he is. avoiding telling tom how you feel, and your pregnancy on top of that, it’s eating you up inside. it’s swallowing you whole.

“what if he doesn’t want to be a dad? or- or i’m a shit mum?” you croak out, your doubts getting the best of you. “i can barely take care of myself. what am i supposed to do with a baby?” you’re leaning forward with your hands pressing into your temples. harrison’s hand moves to your upper back. “i- i don’t think i should have them. i... we can’t,” you conclude.

“tom loves kids,” he gives you a gentle reminder. “why would his own be the exception?” another good point, yet you still have rebuttles. “right, he’s a godfather and he’s really good with them and all that, but i’m not the right person, and it’s a terrible time,” you tell him all at once, in a rush to get your words out before harrison’s sway you.

“he’s never around, i’m doing my own stuff. we’re not meant for this.” you lift your head out of your hands and sit back on the couch. harrison returns his hands to his lap. he’s frowning at you, which you see from the corner of your eye. “i’m not going to force you to have the baby. just saying you have options.”

yeah, really shitty ones.

“either way, talk to tom.” harrison says this more like a demand so you’ll take his advice into actual consideration. “at least about the hookup.” your teeth sink into your lower lip, eyes watering for the nth time already.

you have no choice because he’s right again. you’ll never move on from what happened unless you and tom address it.

the next morning, you do what harrison told you to and invite tom over. he replied saying he was on his way maybe a minute later. he’s nervous to see you because yeah, but more so looking forward since it’s been so long. you’re so nauseous you barely have room for nerves. it’s morning sickness with a hint anxiety.

it feels almost normal when he first gets here, no how’ve you been and what are you up to these days? being as close as you and tom are, you’re not capable of such a dry conversation. personally, you still feel uneasy while he recounts a golfing incident him and harry got into the other day. you know something he doesn’t.

“when i tell you we flew, we flew,” tom makes a pushing forward motion with both hands. “right into the tree. i think harry, like, dented part of his face.” he lets out a breathy laugh, you forcing out one of your own. you’d be more interested without the fact that you’re expecting a child, his child, at the back of your mind.

tom exhales, shifting to face you on your couch. it’s funny how different things were when you and harrison sat in these same spots yesterday. so much has and is about to change.

“they had to send another golf cart to come get us. it was wild.” “it sounds wild,” you hollowly agree. he can tell you’re not too invested in hearing about harry’s terrible driving skills, so he changes the subject. “anyway, harrison told me he came over last night?” your stomach drops, heat coming over your whole body.

“did... did he say why?” you murmur with a look of urgency in your eyes. tom shrugs a shoulder, and casually. there’s no way he knows. “no, was he supposed to?” his tone stays playful, which you can thankfully tell. that puts you more at ease. “no. no, never mind. i would’ve asked you to come, but...” you’re searching through your catalog of excuses.

thank god tom says something else because you can’t find a good one. “it’s alright. i actually, um, had a work call.” a small smile spreads across his face, a proud one. intrigued, you raise both eyebrows. “what’d you talk about?” tom twiddles with his fingers in his lap. “i’ve been offered an audition for this really amazing film. everything works out, it’ll be huge for me.”

you’re smiling back this time, putting a hand over one of his. “woah, that’s incredible. i’m so happy for you, tom.” you lock your fingers with his from the back of his hand. he looks down at them, humbly shaking his head. “when is it?” “a few weeks from today. it films in brazil...”

oh. you can’t tell him now. it’s not worth him missing out on a milestone in his career for a baby you’re not sure you should have. that would be so unfair of you to ask. what are you going to do, not support his dreams for the first time in a literal decade? and, you’d call yourself his best friend through it all?

you guess this also means the way you feel about tom is one sided. he’s okay with leaving you after the most intimate moment you two have ever shared. you’ll dance around it the rest of your lives. better yet, act like the night never even happened. that’s not so easy to do when you’ve got a permanent reminder of it.

the thought makes you sick to your stomach. so sick, you could...

while tom is talking more about what the audition entails, you suddenly bolt up from the couch. you run for the bathroom, a hand cupped over your mouth. his face twists up in confusion from your disappearance. tom calls, “y/n/n?” out to you, but you can’t respond because your head is in the toilet. he rushes in when he hears you retching.

he gets onto the floor with you. you’re bent over, puking your guts out, back in another place where your life changed forever less than twenty four hours ago. tom pulls your hair out of your face and into a makeshift ponytail with one hand, his other on your back. that’s all you have in you. you stay over the toilet just to be sure.

saliva drips from your mouth, making you cough roughly, the sound echoing. tom moves so he’s next to you, keeping his hand in your hair and not caring one bit about the smell because he loves you and he’s utterly concerned about what he witnessed.

“love, are you sick?” he coos, searching for your eyes. they water from the intensity of everything. “morning sickness,” you answer without thinking first. shit. shit, shit, shit. it came out of you like more vomit, word vomit. there’s no going back now.

tom lets go of your hair with his eyes still on yours. his hand on your back then leaves you, fingers trailing down your body as they go. “morning sickness,” he repeats, putting it together. “you’re pregnant?” guilt taking over your features, you sit across from tom. you’re once again leaning against the bathtub, him against the counter.

“this isn’t how i wanted you to find out,” you admit and bring your knees up to your chest. “i took a test yesterday. it was positive.” your arms wrap around your legs, you now tearing up because tom figured it out. a shaky breath passes his lips. “i haven’t gone to my doctor or anything yet, but i-“

“are you keeping the baby?” tom cuts in. not to judge you for your choice, to find out what the fuck is going on before he travels across the world. you tighten your arms around yourself, grabbing your wrist. “i haven’t decided.” he gives you an understanding nod and reaches out for you. you dodge him. he might not want to do that after what you say next.

“tom, i... there’s more,” you whimper out. “yeah. i’m... i’m listening,” tom croaks, unable to hold in his infinite amount of emotions for a multitude of reasons. he’s losing you a second time. more tears spill from your eyes as you break the news, the news that will destroy what he’s been working towards his entire life.

“the baby is yours.” his face relaxes, looking almost relieved when you confess it. “when we slept together, uh,” you’re sure it’s obvious enough that you don’t have to go over the details. he’s tearing up himself. you reluctantly continue. “if you still want to audition, i get it. we don’t have to do this.”

“fuck the audition. fuck the whole movie. all of my movies, really,” tom surprises you by blurting out. he moves in until your legs are touching. “i’m staying. even if you don’t have the baby, i have to be here.” you watch in disbelief as he wipes away what are actually happy tears. “really? i was scared you’d resent me for it, or hate me even,” you mumble to him.

“y/n, what? why would i ever do that?” tom places a hand on your cheek, touch gentle and filled with love. you part your legs so he can be closer to you. he takes the space between them, thumb brushing over your skin. “i didn’t think you’d want to deal with all of this. i thought that night was only a hookup for you.” your voice wobbles under his gaze.

“no, are you kidding? i thought that’s what you thought.” he’s smiling now, eyes twinkling along with it. what he’s been meaning to tell you since you were only kids finally comes out. “i’ve loved you as long as i’ve known you, y/n. i always imagined myself doing this with you.” his words draw a quiet laugh from you, a happy one. “i know we were drunk, but i meant it all.”

the sincerity in his voice, the warmth in his eyes, they make you cry all over again. you’re getting used to it.

“i love you, tom,” you lean into him with a sniffle and a grin, his forehead now resting on yours, using his thumb to catch one of your tears. “i really do.” “i love you forever. i always have,” tom speaks lowly, breath fanning across your face. your hands grab at his shoulders. “so, you’ll stay? you’ll do this with me?” he reminds you of what he said before, this time a promise.

“forever.”

-

you ended up having the baby, and tom held your hand through the entire labor. nikki was holding his other hand, your mom holding your other hand. harrison had originally been in the room as well. when you started to push, he got freaked out and had to leave. your support system remained strong either way.

despite his repulsion of your daughter’s birth, you and tom decided to make harrison her godfather. he eventually became the godfather of your other two children also, which you had a few years later.

tom took a paternity leave from the industry so he could be with you and jamie. he’d also used his time off to propose to you, something else he fantasized about since year eleven in school. it wasn’t anything too grand because the whole world was already buzzing about you two, and a big gesture felt too impersonal with everything you’d been through together.

he did it in the form of passing a note, something you often did in class to avoid being scolded by your teacher for talking. the note came with a pencil to check off either the yes or no box, “will you marry me?” written above them. anyone else would have found it so unromantic, but you giggled as you checked off yes before your lips crashed into his smiling ones.

you were married shortly after the proposal, jamie as your flower girl and all your friends and family in attendance.

to do what he loved and stay with the people he loved, tom created his own version of hollywood in london. he took it upon himself to assemble a team and make a production company. harry behind the camera, harrison and tuwaine in the films, and tom either starring alongside them or directing. they give so many young actors tons of opportunities.

you eventually went back to work, too. it was like you’d never left, coworkers offering endless hugs and going over what you missed, not that you struggled getting into it. tom was there to celebrate every promotion, every compliment from your boss, every part of your life. jamie was also there, then liam and lucy.

all three of them are running around the house right now, putting on shoes and collecting their supplies for school. you take a sip of the orange juice liam didn’t finish with a lighthearted eye roll. tom chuckles as he passes you in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunchboxes for them to minimize the chaos.

“you have that pitch meeting today, right?” he slips his hands through the lunchbox handles and walks over to you. “mhm,” you hum, mouth full with juice. his lips press to your temple, giving your waist a one handed squeeze. “you’ll smash it. always do.” “thanks, tommy.” putting down the cup, you reach up to button whatever parts of his shirt he didn’t have time to.

“aren’t you doing a casting? for the new script they sent?” you wonder aloud and smooth down the cotton material. “me and harry. should be interesting,” he remarks, you giving him a quick kiss back on his chin. they tend to have their artistic differences. “good luck with that. you do drop off, i’ll do pick up?” you pat one of the lunchboxes around his arms.

“deal.” tom goes in for a kiss on your lips, then a chorus of dad, we have to go led by jamie rings through the house. with a knowing smile, you push at his chest. “see you later. love you.” “love you, holland,” he bites back a grin of his own. his last name, now yours, suits you perfectly.