#sherlock holmes and the secret weapon

[finalproblem]

Sherlockian Wednesday Watchalongs: Comfort Food

The world can be… a lot. So we're settling in with some of the faves we love to return to.

Wednesday, October 13 Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon (1942) Basil Rathbone's Holmes takes on the Nazis! (And wins. Just to be clear.)

Wednesday, October 20 Sherlock Holmes: The Sign of Four (1968 TV episode) Peter Cushing's Holmes tackles the second canon story in the second-to-last episode of this adaptation.

Wednesday, October 27 Sherlock Holmes: Die Bruce-Partington-Pläne (aka The Bruce-Partington Plans, 1968 TV episode) Our final premiere of homebrew English subtitles for this series!

Here’s the deal: Like Sherlock Holmes? You’re welcome to join us in The Giant Chat of Sumatra’s #giantchat text channel to watch and discuss with us. Just find a copy of the episode or movie we’re watching, and come make some goofy internet friends.

Keep an eye on my #the giant chat of sumatra tag and the calendar for updates on future chat events.

[inevitable-destruction]

I think my main interest in this affair is the chance it gives me to battle with you again.

[randomnessoffiction]

[bens-things]

Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon (1942) dir. Roy William Neill

[blistering-typhoons]

the secret weapon + watson hair appreciation

[alightinthelantern]

Movies on Youtube:

Brief Encounter (1945, David Lean)

Opening Night (1977, John Cassavetes)

Close Up (1990, Abbas Kiarostami)

Taste of Cherry (1997, Abbas Kiarostami)

The Song of Sparrows (2008,  Majid Majidi)

Russian Ark (2002, Alexander Sokurov)

Dreams (1990, Akira Kurosawa)

Dersu Uzala (1975, Akira Kurosawa)

The Idiot (1951, Akira Kurosawa)

Drunken Angel (1948, Akira Kurosawa)

Tokyo Story (1953, Yasujirō Ozu)

Early Summer (1951, Yasujirō Ozu)

Late Spring (1949, Yasujirō Ozu)

The Flavor of Green Tea over Rice (1952, Yasujirō Ozu)

Good Morning (1959, Yasujirō Ozu)

An Autumn Afternoon (1962, Yasujirō Ozu)

Sword for Hire (1952, Inagaki Hiroshi)

Rebecca (1940, Alfred Hitchcock)

Thunderbolt (1929, Josef von Sternberg)

Larceny (1948, George Sherman)

Among the Living (1941, Stuart Heisler)

Andrei Rublev (1966, Andrei Tarkovsky)

Mirror (1975, Andrei Tarkovsky)

Solaris (1972, Andrei Tarkovsky)

Ivan’s Childhood (1962, Andrei Tarkovsky)

Aguirre, the Wrath of God (1972, Werner Herzog)

Fitzcarraldo (1982, Werner Herzog)

Medea (1969, Pier Paolo Pasolini)

Medea (filmed stageplay)

Is It Easy To Be Young? (1986, Juris Podnieks)

We'll Live Till Monday (1968, Stanislav Rostotsky)

Ordinary Fascism (aka Triumph Over Violence) (1965, Mikhail Romm)

Battleship Potemkin (1925, Sergei Eisenstein)

The Third Man (1949, Carol Reed)

Johnny Come Lately (1943, William K. Howard)

Mister 880 (1950, Edmund Goulding)

Beethoven’s Eroica (2003, Simon Cellan Jones)

Katyn (2007, Andrzej Wajda)

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004, Brad Silberling)

Mean Girls (2004, Mark Waters)

The Neverending Story (1984, Wolfgang Petersen)

The NeverEnding Story II: The Next Chapter (1990, George T. Miller)

The Thief and the Cobbler (Richard Williams)

Osmosis Jones (2001, myriad directors)

Megamind (2010, Tom McGrath)

Ghost in the Shell (1995, Mamoru Oshii)

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004, Mamoru Oshii)

Steamboy (2004, Katsuhiro Otomo)

Badlands (1973), Terrence Malick

Wargames (1983, John Badham)

By the White Sea (2022, Aleksandr Zachinyayev)

White Moss (2014, Vladimir Tumayev)

The Theme (1979, Gleb Panfilov)

The Duchess (2008, Saul Dibb)

Bed and Sofa (1927, Abram Room)

Fate of a Man (1959, Sergei Bondarchuk)

Ballad of a Soldier (1959, Grigory Chukhray)

Uncle Vanya (1970, Andrey Konchalovskiy)

An Unfinished Piece for Mechanical Piano (1977, Nikita Mikhalkov)

Family Relations (1981, Nikita Mikhalkov)

The Seagull (1970, Yuli Karasik)

My Tender and Affectionate Beast (1978, Emil Loteanu)

Dreams (1993, Karen Shakhnazarov & Alexander Borodyansky)

The Vanished Empire (2008, Karen Shakhnazarov)

Winter Evening in Gagra (1985, Karen Shakhnazarov)

Day of the Full Moon (1998, Karen Shakhnazarov)

Zero Town (1989, Karen Shakhnazarov)

The Girls (1961, Boris Bednyj)

The Diamond Arm (1969, Leonid Gaidai)

Operation Y and Shurik's Other Adventures (1965, Leonid Gaidai)

Ivan Vasilievich Changes Profession (1973, Leonid Gaidai)

Unbelievable Adventures of Italians in Russia (1974, Eldar Ryazanov & Franco Prosperi)

Office Romance (1977, Eldar Ryazanov)

Carnival Night (1956, Eldar Ryazanov)

Hussar Ballad (1962, Eldar Ryazanov)

Kin-dza-dza! (1986, Georgiy Daneliya)

The Most Charming and Attractive (1985, Gerald Bezhanov)

Autumn (1974, Andrei Smirnov)

War and Peace: Part 1 (1966, Sergei Bondarchuk)

War and Peace: Part 2 (1966, Sergei Bondarchuk)

War and Peace: Part 3 (1967, Sergei Bondarchuk)

War and Peace: Part 4 (1967, Sergei Bondarchuk)

The Red Tent (first half) (1969, Mikhail Kalatozov)

The Red Tent (second half) (1969, Mikhail Kalatozov)

Sherlock Holmes: The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939, Sidney Lanfield)

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1939, Alfred L. Werker)

Sherlock Holmes and the Voice of Terror (1942, John Rawlins)

Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon (1943, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes in Washington (1943, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes Faces Death (1943, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: The Spider Woman (1944, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: The Scarlet Claw (1944, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: The Pearl of Death (1944, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: The House of Fear (1945, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: The Woman in Green (1945, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: Pursuit to Algiers (1945, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: Terror by Night (1946, Roy William Neill)

Sherlock Holmes: Dressed to Kill (1946, Roy William Neill)

If any of the links don’t work, try looking up the film in this playlist: link

[lisbeth-kk]

Sherlock fandom.

Silvery Witchcraft

It is of course not a secret. Not per se. I don’t hide my true identity. It has more to do with what people observe. Or believe, I suppose. Coming to terms with the fact that the paranormal is real doesn't sit well with most people. Therefore, I always find it amusing when someone calls me a witch. Little do they know…

I took my time when I got to choose my appearance and colours. An image of an elderly, fragile-looking lady filled my mind. She fit my favourite colours perfectly. Purple and silver. 

My place of residence had already been chosen for me. 221 Baker Street, London. Such a pretty place. Victorian. Reminded me of my childhood. I immediately set about furnishing the place. 221A would serve as my quarters. I decorated it as a woman my supposed age would. Lots of lace curtains, antimacassars, velvet cushions, a Persian carpet, and mahogany furniture. I hid the modern kitchen appliances in old, almost ancient ones. My cooking and baking would not suffer because of an unpredictable oven, thank you very much!

I didn’t bother with 221C at first but moved upstairs. 221B was going to be rented out. I needed to earn a living. Keeping up appearances and all that nonsense. The flat was quite spacious and had two bedrooms. The empty space got my full attention, and I chose carefully. My intention was for it to look as if the previous tenants had left it fully furnished. 

The walls were covered with creamy-coloured wallpaper and a black lily pattern. Two mismatched chairs, one in worn, but exquisite leather, the other a faded red upholstery one, were positioned by the fireplace. Although they looked old, they weren’t. 

I used quite a few moments to get the bathroom and kitchen just to my liking. The space was scarce, but by using my silver sparks, my secret weapon, I got everything to fit without it seeming cramped. Letting the rooms expand unnoticed by the users, was quite a challenge.

***

My first tenant was Mycroft Holmes’ little brother, Sherlock. Witchcraft is surprisingly fully recognised by the British government. Not publicly, of course, and only a handful of ministries are aware of its existence.

Mycroft summoned me to the Diogenes club, and almost begged me to save his brother.

“He won’t listen to reason,” he sighed. “I have tried everything. You are his last chance, or he will end up dead under one of London’s bridges.”

Mycroft Holmes is just as much of a drama queen as his brother, but this time he wasn’t far off. I saw it in the lines around his eyes and mouth.

Arrangements were made, and I literally served my fake mafia husband to Sherlock on a silver plate. We got on like a house on fire after that.

Sherlock immediately fell in love with 221B, and he moved in the day after we returned from Florida and the execution. I hadn’t felt so alive in centuries!

“You will need a flatmate,” I told him after a while. “It’s too lonely for you. Don’t you roll your eyes at me, young man. I hear you during the wee hours. Playing your violin and pacing. A loyal companion is what you need.”

“Who would want me for a flatmate, Hudders?” he asked.

My heart nearly broke at that. Sherlock had become like a son to me, and I hated to see his loneliness. Few people were able to look behind his haughty façade. Greg Lestrade, Mike Stamford, and Molly Hooper being the exceptions. And me and Mycroft, obviously.

“Talk to Mike Stamford,” I urged him. “He will keep an eye out, and he certainly won’t pull someone like Sebastian Wilkes out of his sleeve.”

***

Before Sherlock left for Barts on January 29, I sent some silver sparks after him. For a moment, too brief for the human eye to discern, it lit him up, making him appear even more handsome. Not that he needed it. It was more for good luck, which he might have needed. It was difficult to use my magic on him due to his unpredictability and that monster of a brain.

The moment I laid eyes on John Watson, after Sherlock’s unprecedented hug, I knew he was just the one to share 221B with the genius detective. I didn’t even consider using my magic on him. He was already perfect for Sherlock. I just had to make sure that Sherlock didn’t push John away when he made his move to inquire about his romantic life and orientation. 

------------------------------------------------------------

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@7-percent @lhrinchelsea @missdeliadilisblog @salmonsown @oetkb12

@jawnscoffee @gay-ass-bitch @acumberlockedgirl @willamholmeswatson @whatnext2020

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(Tell me if you want to be tagged or removed from the list)

[qaymaw]

I wrote a list of the crimes commited by important characters in Moriarty the Patriot. This is only the anime so characters exclussive to the manga won't appear, nor will crimes commited in arcs exclussive to the manga.

This is an extremley long list, also may contain spoilers if you haven't watched the anime/read the manga, however they shouldn't be to bad.

William James Moriarty 30 crimes

Intimidation

Bribing

Death threats

Threats of violence

Kidnapping

Accessory to murder

Impersonation/Identity theft

Inciting violence/murder/genocide

Arson

First-degree murder

Manipulation/Brainwashing

Contract killing/assassination

Coercion

Framing

Assisted suicide¹

Suicide baiting¹

Mass murder

Genocide

Destruction of property

Domestic terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Conspiracy to commit murder/genocide

Manipulation of political affairs

Attempted suicide¹

Evading arrest

Obstruction of justice

Treason

Breaking and entering

Organised crime²

Illegal possesion of a firearm³

Albert James Moriarty 21 crimes

Leaking government secrets

Organised crime²

Accesory to murder

Assault with the intent to kill/assault with a deadly weapon

First-degree murder

Arson

Manipulation/Brainwashing

Contract killing/assassination

Coercion

Framing

Assisted Suicide¹

Suicide Baiting¹

Mass murder

Genocide

Destruction of property

Domestic Terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Conspiracy to commit murder/genocide

Treason

Patricide

Matricide

Fratricide

Louis James Moriarty 21 crimes

Intimidation

Death threats

Threats of violence

Accessory to murder

Arson

First-degree murder

Manipulation/Brainwashing

Contract killing/assassination

Coercion

Framing

Assisted suicide¹

Suicide baiting¹

Mass murder

Genocide

Destruction of property

Domestic terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Conspiracy to commit murder/genocide

Organised crime²

Treason

Breaking and entering

James Bonde 18 crimes

Theft

High treason

Impersonation of royalty/Identity theft

Arson

Evading the police/goverment

Destruction of property

Extortion

Exploitation

Blackmail

Domestic terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Assault

Conspiracy to commit mureder/genocide

Infiltration

Organised crime²

Treason

Contract killing/Assassination

Accessory to murder

Illegal possession of firearms³

Sebastian Moran 15 crimes

First-degree murder

Contract killing/Assassination

Assisted suicide¹

Suicide baiting¹

Mass murder

Genocide

Accessory to murder

Domestic terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Assault

Conspircay to commit murder/genocide

Gambling

Organised crime²

Treason

Breaking and entering

Illegal possession of firearms³

Fred Porlock 15 crimes

Impersonation

Accesory to murder

Contract killing/Assassination

First-degree murder

Suicide baiting¹

Assisted suicide¹

Mass murder

Genocide

Domestic terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Conspiracy to commit murder/genocide

Organised crime²

Treason

Breaking and entering

Desercration of a corpse

Jack Renfield (AKA Jack the Ripper) 11 crimes

Hiring a contract killer/Assassin

Desercration of a corpse

Assault

Impersonation

Evading the police

Accessory to murder

Domestic terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Conspiracy to commit murder/genocide

Organised crime²

Treason

Von Herder 8 crimes

Accesory to murder

Domestic terrorism²

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Conspiracy to commit murder/genocide

Illegal weapons dealing/creating/inventing

Organised crime²

Treason

Illegal possession of firearms³

Zack Paterson 8 crimes

Accesory to murder

Conspiracy to overthrow the system/nobility

Conspiracy to commit murder/genocide

Eavesdropping

Infaltration

Domestic terrorism²

Treason

Organised crime²

Sherlock Holmes 6 crimes

Breaking and entering

Destruction of property

Attempted suicide¹

Second-degree murder

Illegal possesion of firearms³

Arson

Mycroft Holmes 3 crimes

Accessory to murder

Affiliation with a terrorist organisation

Leaking government secrets

Notes

¹Suicide Act 1961. This act removed suicide as a crime in England and Wales, meaning those who survived a suicide attempt could not be prosecuted. Family members of those who did not survive could no longer be prosecuted either. However, under Suicide Act 1961, Section 2, it remains a crime for a third party to encourage or assist in the suicide of another.

²Terrorism or Organised Crime (or both)

Definitions:

Terrorism: The unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.

Organised crime: Criminal activities that are planned and controlled by powerful groups and carried out on a large scale.

The motive of organised crime is often, but not always, financial.

The Moriarty Plan is a force of violence with the intention of political change. This violence is commited against their home country meaning this is domestic terrorism. They have no wish for financial gain, however, because they are commiting crimes that are planned and controlled, this is also organised crime. Those directly involved in The Moriarty Plan and its execution are therefore guilty of both terrorism and organised crime.

³The Gun License Act 1870. This act meant that anyone may still purchase a gun, however a license was required to have one off your personal property for any reason. This means that James Bonde and Sebatian Moran are both guilty of illegal possession of a firearm as they are both legally dead and therefore cannot have a gun license. However, Sherlock, William and Von Herder are never disclosed to have a gun license but this does not mean they do not have one as they would be perfectly elligable to get one. If they do all own a gun license, this takes Sherlock's crimes down to 5, William's crimes down to 29 and Von Herder's crimes down to 7.

[ogsherlockholmes]

I mention a modern day Holmes adaptation and they think I'm talking about BBCSherlock but I actually bring out my secret weapon (Sherlock Holmes x war propaganda made in the 1940s)

[finalproblem]

Join the Wednesday Watchalong in The Giant Chat of Sumatra! 🔗

Comfort Food month keeps calm and carries on with Rathbone & Bruce in 1942's Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon.

We'll watch & chat live at 8:30 pm US Eastern time (click for your local date/time) in the #giantchat text channel of our Discord server.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hiii. It's oddly specific but are there any Johnlock fics out there based on the movie Bodyguard? I feel that there is a potential in there. Thank youu!

Hi Nonny!

Okay, don't hate me but I have NEVER seen The Bodyguard so I don't know the plot aside from the fact that it probably contains a body guard, LOL.

Reading the Wiki about the plot of it, I don't know of any fics PERSONALLY that are similar to it, but you ARE right, it's RIPE for an AU for SURE. I'd love one too, if anyone knows of any!!!

THAT said, in the mean time, doing a tag search of my lists, here are the fics that came up that might be good to scratch that itch with a body / security guard AU:

====

Sanctuary by a_different_equation (E, 15,437 w., 7 Ch. || Medieval AU / Canterbury Tales Fusion || Blacksmith Sherlock, Guard John, Secret Relationship, Dom Sherlock, Sub John, Porn With Plot, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, BAMF Female Characters) – England, 1230: John Watson is an ex-soldier who works as the head of the guards in his hometown. Sherlock Holmes, the local blacksmith, is his secret.

Real Time by Callie4180 (T, 74,935 w., 25 Ch. || 24 Fusion || Creepy Moriarty, Violence, BAMF Mrs Hudson, Suggestions of Torture, Biochemist Sherlock, Bodyguard John) – The world is under the threat of a biological weapon, and a brilliant biochemist needs protection. His own life is a mess, and he doesn't know who he can trust. He's going to have to be at his best every moment if he's going to survive. This is going to be the longest day of John Watson's life.

Northern Light Series by Minxchester (E, 93,412+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || Security Guard AU || Security Guard John, Rape / Non-Con, Blackmail, Forced Marriage, Captivity, Assorted Pairings, Suicide Attempt, Depression, Non-Con Touching, Eventual Happy Ending) – Recently returned from the war and struggling to adjust back to civilian life, John Watson is given an unexpected opportunity when he's hired as a security guard by Charles Magnussen on the recommendation of his former comrade, Sergeant Murray. Before long, he finds himself assigned the unusual task of serving as personal bodyguard to Magnussen's reclusive husband. But not everything is as it seems in this household--and John gets a lot more than he bargained for looking after Sherlock Holmes.

=====

If you guys have anything more to Nonny's request, PLEASE let us know!! Or even if you have a guard AU to suggest for us too!!

[inevitable-destruction]

I think my main interest in this affair is the chance it gives me to battle with you again.

[teaspoonnebula]

I dreamt there was a new Sherlock Holmes video game where you played Victorian Sherlock Holmes who has been somehow revived in the 21st century, except that barely matters because most of the game he is trying to retrieve a crown from an underground catacombs/labyrinth rigged with fiendish match four puzzles - so we don't see any modern tech.

(Also don't worry, Watson is with him)

When you find the crown and put it on, it responds to Holmes' DNA and opens a secret chamber where there is a recorded message from... Sheridan Holmes, the EVIL Holmes brother, who is voiced by Vincent Price.

He only has one eye, and has a pet ferret that slinks around his neck He tells the player that, due to the crown responding to their DNA he assumes they are his descendant, and therefore as part of his evil lineage he is going to help them to rule the world. Within this underground catacomb are a bunch of steampunk super weapons they may use.

Holmes is like "lol Sheridan, he couldn't have predicted I would be frozen in time and discover his sepulchre of evil"

And then he just leaves because only he can get in, he won't have any kids, and he's very sure Mycroft didn't.

[idlesuperstar]

My favourite Baz!Holmes disguise, Captain Basil in Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon

[mariana-oconnor]

A Scandal in Bohemia

A slight rant about Irene Adler and her portrayal in adaptations.

Irene Adler is so often portrayed as a love interest (romantic/sexual/intellectual) of Sherlock and I understand why, I do. Sex sells. People want a romance in their story. People historically have been unable to imagine any possible situation in which a man shows interest in a woman that is not romantic or sexual in nature.

It also, in more recent times, allows adapters the chance to extend her part so there's a canonical multilayered female character in their adaptation and they don't have to make one up. BUT

a) Irene Adler isn't a love interest for Sherlock Holmes

and

b) She's not even really an adversary.

People portray Irene Adler as this cunning, often criminal, female character, going through life manipulating people and often as a straight up con woman. And it's dramatic and it's fun and she's really cool like that.

But really, at heart, A Scandal in Bohemia is about a woman who wants to move on and her creepy ex who has some sort of power over her that she's trying to escape.

The line from the original story, in Irene's own hand is:

The King may do what he will without hindrance from one whom he has cruelly wronged. I keep it only to safeguard myself, and to preserve a weapon which will always secure me from any steps which he might take in the future.

And based on what we've seen of the King, I'm really more inclined to believe her than him. His repeated exhortations of 'what a queen she would have made' if she were 'on his level', when he's marrying an entirely different woman. And multiple other weird and borderline creepy things he says in reference to her.

But look at her actions: She marries in secret. She marries hurriedly. She has been forewarned that the King might approach Sherlock to an extent that she is looking out for him. On realising that Holmes is close, she ransacks her own home and leaves the country. That's not the actions of someone who is in control of the situation. That's the actions of someone who is scared. Someone who has a powerful enemy and is taking measures to mitigate the issues that causes.

We're never told how the king 'cruelly wronged' her. It could be any number of things. Perhaps she's lying. The only facts we have on the matter are these:

The King and Irene had some sort of a relationship that resulted in an indiscreet photograph.

The King wants that photo back.

Irene believes she needs to be married quickly and in secret.

Irene leaves the country rather than risk a confrontation or give up the photograph.

That's a very different story from any adaptation I've seen. And like I've said, I get why, but I feel like we're missing the adaptation of a woman outsmarting and outplaying her abusive ex and making a new life for herself.

Maybe the people writing the adaptations find this motivation boring and unimportant. They want the woman who outsmarted the Great Sherlock Holmes to be worthy of that title and they don't find the tale of a woman outrunning an unpleasant, if not outright abusive ex to marry someone she actually loves to be grand or dramatic enough (and given the way his story changes, I'm not going to rule out extreme gaslighting here, man seems unable to keep his story straight and weirdly possessive). Of course 'The Woman' must be a brilliant mastermind. Of course she's manipulating everyone around her. Of course she is. Only that kind of woman could possibly outwit our hero. /sarcasm

Also, Godfrey Norton deserves to be adapted more. This is a man who clearly trusts and supports his fiancee/wife. He's totally prepared to drop his very respectable job as a lawyer at the drop of a hat to run away with her. I assume from those facts that he has at least some awareness of the situation and supports her. Godfrey Norton is a gentleman and a scholar.

ETA: I'm not saying that she's not brilliant. She is brilliant. Her disguise fools Holmes, she sees through his disguise and his scheme. She manages to keep him out of her plans to the extent that he's playing catch up the whole time. She absolutely defeated Holmes. But she's also compassionate - she cares for the old man Holmes portrays - she's in love with her husband, and she's understandably scared. None of that detracts from her brilliance, in fact it serves to make her more brilliant if anything. She's capable of doing these things while she's clearly upset and worried.

Adaptations tend to ignore those qualities - the more feminine qualities? She's not brilliant in the way that people want her to be brilliant. It often seems like they're not looking for Irene Adler, they are looking for a female Moriarty.

[anonymousewrites]

A Study of the Heart and Brain (Book 4) Chapter Ten

Father Figure! Sherlock Holmes x Teen! Reader

Chapter Ten: Broken Busts

Summary: The mystery of the Thatcher busts grows larger and more complicated.

            Sherlock paced in front of Mycroft. His brother leaned back in his chair, his secretive office keeping them away from prying eyes.

            “I met her once,” said Mycroft.

            “Thatcher?” said Sherlock.

            “Rather arrogant, I thought,” said Mycroft.

            “You thought that?” said Sherlock.

            Mycroft chuckled. “I know.” He looked at his phone. “Why am I looking at this?”

            “That’s her, John and Mary’s baby,” said Sherlock.

            “Oh, I see. Yes. Looks very…” Mycroft stared at the photo. “Fully-functioning.”

            Sherlock deadpanned. “Is that really the best you can do?”

            “Sorry, I’ve never been very good with them,” said Mycroft primly.

            “Babies?” said Sherlock.

            “Humans,” said Mycroft.

            Sherlock rolled his eyes and took back the phone. “Moriarty. Did he have any connection with Thatcher? Any interest in her?”

            Mycroft scoffed. “Why on earth would he?”

            “I don’t know, you tell me,” said Sherlock.

            Mycroft opened up the file in front of him. “In the last year of his life, James Moriarty was involved in four political assassinations, over seventy assorted robberies and terrorist attacks, including a chemical weapons factory in North Korea, and had latterly shown some interest in tracking down the Black Pearl of the Borgias. Which is still missing, by the way, in case you feel like applying yourself to something practical.”

            “It’s a pearl, get another one,” retorted Sherlock.

            Mycroft rolled his eyes. “And finally, Moriarty was involved in two kidnappings of a one (Y/N) Holmes.”

            Sherlock narrowed his eyes at the reminder. “There’s something important about this mystery. I’m sure. Maybe it’s Moriarty. Maybe it’s not. But something’s coming.”

            “Are you having a premonition, brother mine?” said Mycroft, leaning forward.

            “The world is woven of billions of lives, every strand crossing every other,” said Sherlock. “What we call premonition is just movement of the web. If you could attenuate to every strand of quivering data, the future would be entirely calculable.”

            “And you wish to know what is going on so that any ‘quivers’ of the web won’t affect (Y/N),” said Mycroft knowingly. “I’d be careful, brother mine. (Y/N) is quite the weakness for you. Moriarty was the greatest threat to them, but there may be more. Make sure premonitions don’t get in the way of facts.”

            “If I can figure out danger is coming, then I can protect them,” said Sherlock.

            “Some things are unavoidable,” said Mycroft. “Appointment in Samara.”

            “I’m sorry?” said Sherlock.

            “The merchant who can’t outrun death,” said Mycroft. “You always hated that story as a child. Less keen on predestination back then.”

            “I’m not sure I like it now,” said Sherlock.

            “You wrote your own version, as I remember,” said Mycroft. “Appointment in Sumatra. The merchant goes to a different city and is perfectly fine.”

            “Good night, Mycroft,” said Sherlock as his brother began pontificating.

            “Then he becomes a pirate, for some reason,” said Mycroft.

            “Keep me informed,” called back Sherlock.

            “Of what?” said Mycroft.

            “Absolutely no idea,” said Sherlock.

l

            Sherlock sat in front of their latest client and narrowed his eyes. “(Y/N), will you tell Lestrade to keep it down outside?”

            (Y/N) got up, walked to the door, and flung it open. Hawkins and Lestrade jumped, and (Y/N) looked at them calmly. “Please stop your flirting while we’re seeing a client.” Hawkins and Lestrade blushed, and (Y/N) closed the door. They nodded to Sherlock. “Done.”

            Sherlock nodded before facing their client, a Mr. Kingsley. “Now, you haven’t always been in life insurance, have you? You started out in manual labor. Oh, don’t bother being astonished. Your right hand’s almost an entire size bigger than your left. Hard manual labor does that.”

            “Oh, I was a carpenter, like my dad,” said Kingsley, smiling.

            “Are you trying to give up smoking unsuccessfully?” said Sherlock. (Y/N) had seen all of this, but they were too bored to entertain surprising the clients. “And you once had a Japanese girlfriend who meant a lot to you but now you feel indifferent about.”

            “How the hell—” Kinglsey glanced down sheepishly. “E-cigarettes.”

            “Not just that, ten individual e-cigarettes,” said Sherlock. “If you just want to smoke indoors, you could have invested in one of those irritating electronic pipe things.”

            (Y/N) wrinkled their nose. They hated the smell of those (and vapes. Vape smoke was so sweet that (Y/N)’s senses despised it).

            “But you’re convinced you can give up, so you don’t want to buy a pipe because that would mean you’re not serious about quitting,” said Sherlock. “So instead, you buy e-cigarettes, always sure that each one will be your last. Anything to add, (Y/N)?”

            “Nope,” said (Y/N), popping the “p” with their lollipop.

            “John?” said Sherlock, turning to his chair. He blinked when he found a red balloon with a face drawn on. “John?”

            “Uh, yeah, yeah, listening,” said John, walking back into the room.

            “What is that?” said (Y/N).

            “That is me,” said John. “Well, it’s a me substitute.”

            “Don’t be so hard on yourself, you know we value your little contributions,” said Sherlock.

            “Yeah? It’s been there since nine in the morning,” said John. He looked at (Y/N). “I thought you saw me put it there.”

            (Y/N) shrugged. “I was thinking.”

            John groaned. They’re becoming more like Sherlock every day.

            “What about my girlfriend?” interrupted Kingsley.

            “What?” said Sherlock.

            “You said I had an ex,” said Kingsley.

            “(Y/N), go ahead,” said Sherlock.

            “But this is boring,” said (Y/N).

            “It’s good exercise,” said Sherlock.

            (Y/N) sighed and turned to Kingsley. “You’ve got a Japanese tattoo in the crook of your elbow of the name ‘Akako.’ It’s obviously faded because you tried to have it removed.”

            “But surely that means I want to forget her, not that I’m indifferent,” said Kingsley.

            (Y/N) just looked at him evenly. “If you wanted to forget her, you would have tried again to have it removed or had another tattoo done to cover it up. You can live with the memory of Akako without any strong feelings—indifference.”

            The client chuckled and smiled. “I thought you’d done something clever.”

            (Y/N)’s eyebrow twitched, and Sherlock narrowed his eyes.

            “Oh, no. No, but now you’ve explained it. It’s dead simple, innit?” said Kingsley, still laughing like an idiot.

            “Yes, it’s simple, but idiots never see it, do they? They need it explained,” said (Y/N), closing their eyes and smiling. The snakelike tilt of their head made Kingsley’s laughter falter.

            John sent a warning look to Sherlock to intervene before (Y/N) decided to really hurt the man’s feelings.

            Sherlock cleared his throat. “I’ve withheld this information from you until now, Mr. Kingsley, but I think it’s time you knew the truth.” John wanted him to intervene? He would, but mostly to have his own fun with Kingsley for insulting him and, more importantly, (Y/N).

            “What do you mean?” said Kingsley.

            “Have you ever wondered if your wife was a little bit out of your league?” said Sherlock.

            “Well—”

            “You thought she was having an affair,” said Sherlock. “I’m afraid it’s far worse than that. Your wife is a spy.”

            “What?” said Kingsley.

            “That’s right,” said Sherlock. “Her real name is Greta Bengsdotter. Swedish by birth, and probably the most dangerous spy in the world. She’s been operating deep undercover for the past four years as your wife, for one reason only, to get near the American Embassy, which is across the road from your flat. Tomorrow the US President will be at the embassy as part of an official state visit. As the President greets members of staff, Greta Bengsdotter, disguised as a 22-stone cleaner, will inject the President in the back of the neck with a dangerous new drug, hidden inside the secret compartment inside her padded armpit. This drug will then render the President entirely susceptible to the will of that new master. None other than James Moriarty.”

            “What?” said Kingsley.

            (Y/N) had to smother a smirk at his gullibility.

            “Moriarty will then use the President as a pawn to destabilize the United Nations General Assembly, which is due to vote on a nuclear non-proliferation treaty, tipping the balance in favor of a first-strike policy against Russia,” continued Sherlock. “This chain of events will then prove unstoppable, thus precipitating World War III.”

            John chuckled. “Are you serious?” He didn’t believe it, either.

            “No, of course not,” said Sherlock. “His wife left him because his breath stinks and he likes to wear her lingerie.”

            “I don’t,” said Kingsley. He swallowed. “Just the bras.”

            “Buy your own,” said (Y/N).

            “Get out,” said Sherlock.

            Kingsley hurried out.

            “What’s this all about, then?” said John.

            “Having fun,” said Sherlock.

            “Fun?” said John.

            “While I can,” said Sherlock. “Right, (Y/N)?”

            “No, this is boring,” said (Y/N). “I want a mystery.”

            The door opened, and Hawkins stepped in. “I have a—”

            “Borgia Pearl, boring, go,” said Sherlock, pushing her back out.

            “But—”

            “Go,” said Sherlock, shutting the door.

            It swung open, and Lestrade entered this time.

            “Oh, this had better be good,” said Sherlock.

            “Please have a mystery,” said (Y/N). “Preferably a murder.”

            “Oh, I think you’ll like this,” said Lestrade. He held up a plastic bag with the remains of a bust.

            “That’s the bust, isn’t it, the one that was broken?” said John.

            “No, it’s another one. Different owner. Different part of town,” said Lestrade. “Sherlock and (Y/N) were right. This is a thing. Something’s going on.” He looked at them as they gazed intently at the bust. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d be pleased?”

            “We are pleased,” said (Y/N).

            “You don’t look pleased,” said Lestrade.

            “These are our game faces,” said Sherlock. “The game is on.”

            “There’s more to this, isn’t there?” said (Y/N), looking at Lestrade.

            Lestrade nodded. “Another two have been smashed since the Welsborough one.” As he spoke, Sherlock took the evidence bag and set up his microscope. “One belonging to Mr. Mohandes Hassan.”

            “Identical busts?” said (Y/N). “In every way?”

            “Yeah,” confirmed Lestrade. “And this one belonged to a Dr. Barnicot in Holborn. Three in total. God knows who’d want to do something like this.”

            “Yeah, but some people have that complex, don’t they?” said John. “And idee fixe.” He looked at (Y/N) and Sherlock. “They obsess over one thing, and they can’t let it go.”

            “That’s Dad,” said (Y/N). “I’m just autistic with a special interest.” They unwrapped another lollipop. “Besides, that’s not the answer. There were other images of Thatcher at the Welsborough’s house, on the same table as the bust. Someone who had it out for her likeness would have destroyed the pictures, too. This was only the bust, so the mystery has to do with the bust, not Thatcher.”

            “Oho,” said Sherlock, looking through the microscope. “Blood. Quite a bit of it, too. Was there any injury at the crime scene?”

            “Nah,” said Lestrade, checking his watch.

            “Then our suspect must have cut themself breaking the bust,” said Sherlock. He stood and bagged the bloody chip. “Come on.”

            “Holborn?” said John.

            “Lambeth,” said Sherlock.

            “Lambeth? Why?” said Lestrade.

            “To see Toby,” said (Y/N).

            “Ah, right.” John frowned. “Who?”

            “You’ll see,” said Sherlock.

            “Right, you coming?” said John to Lestrade.

            “No, he’s got a lunch date with a brunette forensic officer that he doesn’t want to be late for,” said Sherlock.

            “Who told you?” said Lestrade.

            “We could hear you flirting through the door,” said (Y/N). “You smell lightly of formaldehyde, and you keep looking at your watch.”

            “Have a good time,” said Sherlock.

            “I will,” said Lestrade.

            “Trust me, though, she’s not right for you,” said Sherlock.

            “What?” Lestrade paused.

            “She’s not the one,” said Sherlock.

            “Well, thank you, Mystic Meg,” said Lestrade, leaving.

            “How do you work all that out?” asked John.

            “She’s got three children in Rio, and he has no idea,” said (Y/N).

            “Are you making this up?” said John.

            (Y/N) smirked.

            John decided to move on. “Who’s Toby?” he asked again.

            “There’s a kid we know, hacker,” said Sherlock. “Brilliant hacker, one of the world’s best. Got himself into serious trouble with the Americans couple of years ago. He hacked into the Pentagon security system, and we managed to get him off the charge. Therefore, he owes us a favor.”

l

            Sherlock knocked on the door. (Y/N) and John stood behind him.

            “So, how does that help us?” said Lestrade.

            “What?” said Sherlock.

            “Toby the hacker,” said John.

            “Toby is not the hacker,” said (Y/N).

            “What?” said John.

            The door opened.

            “All right, Craig,” said Sherlock, greeting the hacker.

            “All right, Sherlock,” said Craig.

            “Craig’s got a dog,” said (Y/N), looking at the old dog next to Craig. Toby walked towards them, and (Y/N) took the leash.

            “So I see,” said John.

            “Good boy,” said Sherlock.

            “Hiya!” Mary, holding Rosie, appeared from inside the house.

            “Mary?” John stared. “What are you—We agreed. We would never bring Rosie out on a case.”

            “Exactly, so…” Mary handed Rosie to John. “Don’t wait up.”

            “But what are you doing here?” said John.

            “She’s better at this than you,” said Sherlock.

            “Better?” John glared at his best friend.

            “So I texted her,” said Sherlock.

            “Hang on, Mary’s better than me?” said John.

            “In some ways. She is a retired super-agent with an impressive skillset,” said (Y/N). “But you’re the moral heart of the group.”

            “Thank you, (Y/N),” sighed John. “So I’m supposed to just go home now, am I?”

            “Oh, what do you think, Sherlock, (Y/N)? Shall we take him with us?” teased Mary.

            “John or the dog?” joked Sherlock.

            “That’s funny,” said John sarcastically.

            “John, he’s handy and loyal,” said (Y/N).

            “That’s hilarious,” said John. “Is it too early for a divorce?” Mary just laughed, and John smiled.

            “Anyone up for a trudge?” said Sherlock, showing the smell of the bust to Toby. He barked. “Keep up. He’s fast.”

            Together—even John with Rosie—the group followed Toby. He led them around London in a winding path, stopping to think and smell, but always eventually moving forward. Finally, they arrived at a market full of butcher stalls. Blood and meat was everywhere, and Toby slowed to a halt.

            “Clever,” said (Y/N). 

            “Well, if you were wounded and leaving a trail, where would you go?” said Mary.

            “Like a tree hiding in a forest,” said John.

            “Or blood in a butcher’s,” said Sherlock.

            (Y/N) scratched behind Toby’s ears. “Never mind, Toby. Better luck next time.”

            “This is the one, though, I can feel it,” said Sherlock.

            “Not Moriarty?” said John.

            “Has to be him. It’s too bizarre, too baroque,” said Sherlock. “It’s designed to beguile us, tease us, and lure us in.”

            “I’m not convinced,” said (Y/N).

            Everyone looked at them.

            “No one’s died yet,” said (Y/N). “It’s no fun for Moriarty without death.” They looked around. “But something is definitely going on.”

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