#shepard is like a granny

[scratchandplaster]

Birdie why do you think Ben ran away?

Shepherd what do you plan on doing with Lukas?

[Masterlist] | Ask game

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

"I think he missed his brother," Birdie mused.

The group Sam joined today was busy preparing fruit slices, mostly apricots, apples and figs, as a midday snack. They were mixing pumpkin butter with a scoop of fresh honey into a paste, meaning if Sam took one fact away from their stay here, it was that these people loved their dips.

"If that's all, why didn't he stay in contact with you guys?"

"He probably had a little rebel phase," she laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "and wanted to prove himself out in the world."

Sam hummed: "Doesn't seem like the type to rebel."

"You're absolutely right! But if I'm being honest, Lukas has a pretty strong influence over him. On his first day back, he acted like we would tear him to shreds for leaving, I-" Birdie shook her head as if to let her thoughts out, "I can't imagine what kind of horror scenario they convinced themselves of."

Sam never dared to acknowledge it, but given what kind of social structure Birdie and friends were trapped in, they had always been friendly and welcoming to even the one who strayed off their vision of life. Normally, at least during their research, Sam expected a good portion of shunning and shame. 

Lucky Ben.

"Perhaps he regretted his choice, but was too embarrassed to ask for our help. Just look at him, he flourishes a bit more with every day."

--------

The old man's eyes lit up when asked about his son.

"Oh, the only thing I want is to see if he's doing well! Since he left without a word, I live in constant worry, especially because Luke... Well, he is very vulnerable when it comes to everyday stressors. And before you say it: I know. I know he's an adult and can make his own choices in life, but I'm not sure if that also applies to the people around him." A beat of silence followed. "I only wish for him to live in a healthy environment with friends that can be trusted."

"That's it?" Somehow, Sam didn't buy it. To be fair, he had been very upfront with them about Ben and their role in his return. 

"That's it," Shepard assured, "and if he doesn't want contact, I will have to respect his decision. But maybe, just maybe, he feels prompted to visit once or twice. For his brother's sake, at least, so we can live with the knowledge that he is safe."

"Is Lukas like him?" Their head nodded over to Ben, trapped outside the cabin gathering and whittling new twigs for today's campfire bread.

"No, not at all." The man's smile dragged a certain sadness along. "That's the magic of raising children; witnessing how these little minds full of potential grow into their own person. It's a gamble, but every score is a win."

Whipping out a crumpled Polaroid picture from his wallet, Sam was greeted by a child waving at them from behind the stained foil - hair black as a crow was tucked under a horribly knitted beanie. The boy, visibly younger than the triplets, stood next to an RV that was parked in front of a spitting geyser.

"That's Luke's first time at Yellowstone," Shepard spoke rather wistfully, "he loved watching the fountains for hours. Read about it beforehand, so of course, I enjoyed a whole tour of the place for free and afterward..."

Sam had braced themself for a lot during their time among the residents, but a whimsy trip down memory lane wasn't accounted for. Nothing against free information, but they feared Shepard was about to pull out the ultimate time waster.

"Here, I'll show you!" From under his desk, Shepard presented a thick photo album wrapped in leather.

Too late.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

[cosmicrhetoric]

too many witch books are about granny's battle with mortality and end with the I ATENT DEAD card.....im literally never reading the shepards crown haha

[kandyshoppe]

So! I’m going to school to (hopefully) become a farm vet, and I also enjoy those hybrid Aus, SO! Farm Hybrid Au! (Or just farm au!)

Riddle: a rooster, specifically a red cornish. Cornish are known to be a bit aggressive, and finicky. I think he would have been a neglected chick and didn’t get to the full size, instead staying kinda small instead of becoming big like other Cornish.

Trey: Highlander cow, soft, sweet babys! They’re just happy to be here, and are stocky tough cattle. Their coats are double coated, so they can get matted but it’s rare with a proper diet and care.

Cater: a part indoor part outdoor cat, a beautiful orange tabby mix, who goes through moods of cuddle monster and hates everyone. Never a hiss from him, but a grumpy huff and he trots away.

Deuce: mastiff, a guard/live stock guardian dog breed. Big, aggressive to strangers, but love bugs once they get to know you. Specifically a Pyrenean mastiff, they’re polish, and suited for cold weather best.

Ace: definitely a Nubian goat, head strong, rebellious, LOUD, but they’re not aggressive! They’re actually very friendly, to their detriment since they will try to befriend predators!

Leona: farm cat, probably a Maine coon mix, cause he’s so big and fluffy! Maine coons are also very “dog like” and can learn tricks, to play fetch etc. They also tend to have a resting mad face, which Leona seems to have sometimes!

Ruggie: a stray dog that helps hunt vermin on the farm. I feel he wondered up once, and made sure to avoid the live stock (and their guard dogs) and got some rats or something. He doesn’t live on the farm by nearby in the woods with his pack of strays (including granny!)

Jack: another guard dog! Anatolian Shepard, a middle eastern breed suited for colder climates, and lovingly called “nanny dogs” and they will happily let goats jump on them. They’re a bit dominant, preferring to do their own thing vs what others say though.

Azul: cull duck! They’re a bit noisy, enjoying the sound of their own voice. They’re the white ones most people think of for ducks, small and fairly friendly but they do enjoy nibbling to show affection…

Jade: runner duck! They can’t fly, but enjoy scrabbling among rocks to find grubs, or in Jade’s case, mushrooms! They don’t waddle either! They run! They’re not as friendly as other duck breeds, being stand off-ish sometimes.

Floyd: just like his brother, a runner duck. He lives up to the runner in his name! Prances around, and enjoys tormenting the other animals on the farm. Someone stop him! Sneaks up on others and nips their feet. Has been kicked before, it didn’t stop him.

Kalim: brown Swiss, in the top three cattle breeds! They’re known for being fairly docile, calm and friendly. They’re very affectionate, and can get upset when not given affection from their handlers! This boy is BEGGING for ear scritches!

Jamil: Brahman bull, he can get aggressive much easier than Kalim. He’s also a very intelligent boy, as his breed usually is. But they’re also known to be shy, preferring to be alone or with a specific quiet few vs a large herd! Brahmans also are sensitive to the cold, so his hoodie is a need!

Vil: a jersey cow (my favorite!) they’re so pretty, but also the divas of milking cows. But it’s worth it for their thick, buttery and fatty milk! They’re also very curious, choosing to follow new comers vs hiding. They’re very social, but sassy things!

Rook: a trained hawk! (I’ve never seen a trained hawk around chickens but he is!) he was found as a baby and ended up bonding with the farmer I bet, so now he protects the others from birds, and more sneaky attacks! He enjoys sitting with Vil, a strange pair but it works.

Epel: a Southdown sheep, also known as “baby dolls” cause they’re so little and cute! He’s still a ram though, and hates being called cute! Head butts at will! Is mad that Vil has chosen him as their “calf” and follows him around, keeping him out of trouble. Vil’s no fun.

Idia: a British soay sheep, but he’s got a genetic mutation that makes him a deep blue instead of a dark brown. British soay are shy and flighty, they’re timid even among sheep breeds! Idia probably struggles with joining herds because of his color, which makes him more nervous about predators!

Ortho: à shetland sheep, another smaller breed, but quite friendly and inquisitive (which is rare among sheep, I’m sorry they’re dumb) Don’t let his size fool you though! Shetlands are one of the hardiest breeds out there! Small but mighty!

Malleus: a big black shire horse, now I don’t know as much about horses, but shires are docile and friendly draft horses! I bet cause of his size though, many of the other farm animals avoid him cause he’s scary. Shires are sometimes used for riding, and I bet he REALLY enjoys riding!

Lilia: a fell pony! They’re one of the smartest ponies, and while they can be finicky at times because of their intelligence, they are sweet ponies. He’s too intelligent for his own good I bet, enjoying to open the gates and wander out, but doesn’t close it and now EVERYONE is out and about!

Silver: an Icelandic horse (my brother’s favorite), they’re super sweet and hardworking sweethearts, with a beautiful grey coat! One of the friendliest horse breeds in the world, he’s just a big old love bug! Loves rolling around and laying in a nice patch of grass I bet.

Sebek: a shetland pony, but he’s one of the ones who give shetlands a bad rap. He’s nippy, and stubborn, and loves to whiney whenever he can! Likes the sound of his own voice. Is entranced with Malleus, and wants to be a big horse like him one day!

[pumpkinsy0]

Something that always sticks out to me in the book is that Ponyboy is religious and goes to church with Johnny (but then the gang RUINS that 😒😒) so perhaps some hcs for ponyboy going to church for the first time since that whole embarrassing moment anddd maybe curly is with him, hell maybe somehow curly the person to convince pony to go again? Idk I was thinking about this cause I'm in a church choir (just for their Christmas show, I've never even stepped foot in this church 😭😭) and it got me thinking. Also, i am putting pony in church choir and NO ONE can tell me otherwise (OOC? maybe. But let a girl dream)

dude i havent stepped into a church since i lost my 3ds in one, and ikkkk someone stole it but theyre going to hell for sure so its ok, im not religious but if i was thats the one thing im holding on for

•i hc that the shepards mom is super religious but she only actually goes to church for particular days, christmas eve, easter, yknow that kinda thing, and she drags her kids w her. now r the shepard kids religious???? some more a lil more than others depending on who ur asking, but curly specifically, least religious one, he just loves his mama and wants to hang w her, what a mamas boy that guy is

•pony was thinking of going back to church eventually, and curly knew pony used to go, so he just asked!! pony was hesitant bc he doesn’t have anything TO wear to church, but curly let him borrow some clothes from him and it took some more convincing bc if going to church w his gang was hell he could only imagine it w the shepard, but curly assured him they don’t do much

•of course johnny went a long way pony, johnny really had nothing better to do and he would go to church to get some food, johnny also didn’t have clothes and curlys clothes were NOT gonna fit him, so he just went w his normal outfit. curly said the people at the church don’t rlly mind WHAT u wear as long as ur there, so johnny didn’t feel as awkward about it for sure

•now the church wasn’t in a good condition like pony’s old church, it was in a basement (my old church was too lmaoooo) but pony’s not complaining, a church is a church in his eyes so it’s whatever, but one thing he made sure of when he was in there was that he was way from the shepards mom, tim, and angela for they scare him. semi thankfully tho, curly pulled pony and johnny to be in a different pew behind em, this is like the first time he’s actually been alright just being in a church and it’s bc he has friends!!!

•the pastor made pony and johnny stand up and introduce themselves bc they were new there, they were soooo uncomfortable curly knew that was gonna happen and didn’t warn em he wanted to see the color in their faces drain, pony said his name and they thought pony was trynna b funny, pony’s already wanting to run out the door

•when the service starts if u thought curly was gonna sit there and do nothing, ur wrong, ITS NOT BC PONYS THERE, curlys always acted up in church, pony being there just makes it worse, pony’s trying to pray and curlys whispering his name. doesn’t last for long tho bc tim turned around and smacked curly w a bible. pony would die to see that again btw

•pony’s not saying that the ppl at church can’t play their instruments well, it’s just WOW they’re passionate about it, pony respects the hustle cause the songs they sing r bangers, bonus points if curly gets to play an instrument and that’s y he wanted pony to come along

•that church service was long as shit, usually pony’s at church for 2 or 3 hours, but pony got there in the morning, and left at 5 god damn pm, his ass HURT, but aye,,, the food was worth it,,,pony and johnny got some leftovers plus some purse candy from aunties/grannies who went up to em after squeezing their faces

•at the end of it all, does pony go back to that church??? noooo not rlly, it’s not even a bad church, pony just can’t do a whole DAY of church, at some point he just wants to go home his social battery ain’t that good

[jokerfic]

@shepards-dead-fish DELIGHTED to talk about this, tyvm

first and foremost, the big dawg himself, Nolanverse Joker

His whole deal can honestly be summed up with:

effectively flipping a code of morality on its head necessitates an intimate understanding of that code of morality first. Ledger's Joker sure does spend an awful lot of his limited screentime preaching nihilism to people, that nothing matters, that saving a busload of puppies and pushing a granny into traffic are both completely morally neutral acts, as is everything else under the sun, because there's nobody up there keeping score.

to me it reads like a crusade. to me, it reads like a smokescreen for rage and disgust. either the Joker isn't human, is instead a figment, a personification of chaos, or he is human, and something happened, something shoved him over the edge, and his actions are a means of punishing a cruel world that he bitterly resents and hates in its totality. you have to understand the concept of cruelty to react to it and lash out like that, though. you have to understand that it's a bad thing-- that bad exists at all. a true nihilist, when confronted with the weight of the world, shrugs-- because what are you going to do? what's the point in trying to change anything when any change is equal to the status quo?-- and moves on with their day. The sheer amount of time and effort the Joker expends on terrorizing Gotham speaks to a belief that Gotham deserves punishment, and punishment as a concept doesn't exist if there's no right or wrong.

confronted with this idea, he would claim that it's just his favorite hobby, his favorite thing to do, and since there's no moral weight attached to the shit he pulls then why not indulge in it? it's important to understand that this is total horse shit. it may well be his favorite hobby, but I think it's his favorite hobby because doing this shit makes him feel superior to everyone, and again, if he was a true believer in what he's peddling, he'd know that there's no true superiority when everything is on totally equal, neutral footing. he's a liar. he's an excellent bad guy because he knows bad exists and is intimately familiar with it. he lives as an inversion of good, tacitly acknowledging that good exists and that he's painfully aware of it.

next up: Jerome Valeska!

Jerome is honestly kind of a doll compared to the others. He's on the simpler side of Jokers when it comes to his motivations and morality, because he sort of of wears his heart on his sleeve (and he never shuts up, so you don't really have to wonder what he's truly thinking). Jerome is doing what he does because he sees it as punishing a world that failed him, and he's open about it. He kicks off his criminal career by murdering his abusive mother, he's unrepentant about it, and from that point on, everything he does is with an attitude of "why should I care if anyone lives or dies if nobody ever did the same for me?"

There's no doubt that, like Ledger's Joker, Jerome really does get a kick out of violence (his family members who've known him since he was a kid repeatedly call him out for being a difficult, bad kid who frequently acted out and scared them-- and it's not as if regular abuse can have that effect on a child, right? he was definitely just "born bad," as his brother Jeremiah puts it. /s). I would argue that he gets a lot more actual joy and fulfillment out of murder and mayhem than any other Joker. He really just likes to kill, terrorize, and destroy! It makes him feel powerful and engaged with the world. It's his main social outlet (he's an extrovert).

He knows it's wrong-- he never tries to argue otherwise, or get out of it by acting like right and wrong don't even exist-- but in Jerome's morality, he's justified in doing it, because the way he was treated was wronger. All he's doing, in his mind, is seeking revenge, and revenge is one of Jerome's biggest motivators. I would argue that the pursuit of it is something he thinks is always morally correct in any case. There's a sense of fairness there, and by extension unfairness. He understands that it's an unfair world, and he thinks it's every person's right to fight for what they believe they're owed, even if that means stepping on other people to get it. "Every man for himself" is Jerome's morality, and given his background, how could it not be? If nobody ever reaches a hand out to you, you never learn to reach out a hand to others.

(By the time he meets people who do reach out their hands to him-- Lee Thompkins, Bruce Wayne-- his point of view is firmly cemented, and instead of opening up to the possibility that the pursuit of goodness might be worthwhile, he laughs at them for being freaks of nature, acting against their own self-interest.)

And finally, Arthur:

Arthur, who of the three is easily the most sympathetic and more of an anti-hero than an outright villain.

Arthur, like Jerome, is also lashing out against a world that has repeatedly hurt him, but in contrast to the other Jokers, whose destruction spreads out over the whole city, he's very deliberate about who he attacks. He goes after people he specifically feels mistreated by. He goes after bullies and thugs and the elites who he blames for the state of Gotham, as well as for his own low personal state. His victims are specifically targeted-- he's not out to just hurt anyone he can get his hands on. He doesn't seem to find any pleasure in the idea of hurting people just to hurt them. He wants to punish bad people (and, at worst, he's neutral about innocents, though I'd say he leans more towards sympathizing with them than not caring about them at all).

That's what I mean when I say his moral code is unusually explicit for a Joker-- it is! Far from being the city's personal tormentor, he's basically hailed as a vigilante and a sort of champion at the end! That's very odd for a Joker. Far from denying they even exist, he very clearly knows the difference between right and wrong, and moreover, he cares about trying to do the right thing (which is why he never even seemed to entertain the idea of killing Gary, even though Gary had just witnessed Arthur committing a serious crime-- Gary hadn't done anything wrong, Gary didn't deserve to be killed). Unlike TDK Joker and Jerome, he doesn't seem to have a natural inclination towards and sense of pleasure in violence-- it seems painful for him, like a last resort, something that takes him over and that he surrenders to rather than something that's always been a temptation in the back of his mind.

But I don't think he thinks of himself as a bad guy. I think he thinks of himself as desperate, maybe broken. I think he cares about being good, I think he's tried to be good-- I think he feels like he's tried everything. But in Arthur's mind, violence is now the only way, the only thing that will make the bad guys sit up and take note. I think that he thinks that the exercise of violence against bad guys is no longer an evil, and I think the distinction matters to him because, again-- he wants to be good. In his view, it's the world that's stopping him from being good, nothing inherent to his own nature.

so yeah. all three of them have a personal sense of morality that informs their lives and decisions, and that they use to justify the things they do. it's super interesting to see where they differ and where they overlap.

[carnalapples]

My Year in Writing: 2024

Thank you @theluckywizard for the tag!! I'm not sure who hasn't done this yet, so OPEN INVITATION to brag about your writing!! I want to see it <3

Words Written: 132,589

Fics Published: 23

Fandoms: Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Dishonored (!!), The Hunger Games, Rogue Trader

Favorite Fics:

1. anatomy of a haunted heart - DA: Awakening, Nathaniel/Velanna, time loops and haunted houses

I really challenged myself to do this fic, I'm terrified of writing long fics on a deadline, but I wanted to do something different. I fell in love with both Velanna and Nathaniel while writing this fic, and I tried really hard to match up to the vision I had in my head--while that vision wasn't super clear, and I'm not sure if this did match up, I'm really happy with how it ended up!!

2. four and twenty blackbirds - Dishonored, Corvo/Granny Rags, a love letter to Granny Rags

This is another fic I got weird with, I wrote this for an exchange, and I was originally going to write Geoff Curnow/Corvo, but then Granny Rags took over my entire brain. She's just so interesting and the fic kind of got away from me. I had so much fun putting this together!

3. cut down at the garden's gate - Dragon Age 2, Hawke/Sebastian, political marriage forces you to confront your feelings for your ex, more at 11

Again, this was a challenge, and I do love how this ended up. There are sections I might rewrite, but I was really proud of finishing on a deadline (despite many issues I had with continuity haha, I'm not much of a multichap writer so even 3 chapters was tricky for me!) I think I wrote this in a rush, but I think otherwise I never would have finished this story, and I really wanted to finish and share it.

Most Used Tags: Sexual Content, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant

Highest Kudos: follow me into the dark - Mass Effect, Shepard/Tali after Rannoch.

Highest Hit Oneshot: also follow me into the dark, haha

New Things I Tried: Time-based challenges! i.e. a DA Big Bang, and the WIP Big Bang... And I tried DADWC and really ended up liking it!! I think it did a lot to help me learn how to write without judgment and just get a story or concept out, and I used a lot of what I wrote and learned from DADWC as inspiration to write or finish larger stories.

Fic I Spent the Most Time On: dead winter in the forgotten land (Dragon Age), this was like two years in the making lol

Fic I Spent the Least Time On: I think savior complex (THG); I wrote it as a pinch-hit for a Hunger Games exchange, which was super fun!

Favorite Things I Read: I read so much amazing stuff this year but here are 3 that come to mind:

dirt romantic by rowanisawriter (@rowanisawriter) GUYS this fic... Peak romance, peak Zevran, the relationship between Zevran and a Cousland Warden is one of pining and differences in status and constantly shifting boundaries and Rowan writes that perfectly. Please read this and come be ill about Zevran with me....

Eat, Drink, Poison by elo_elo (@junkbabelna): This is a Cullen/Trevelyan modern AU--I aspire to write modern AUs like theirs, I love the details and the atmosphere so much. I think that they have such a knack for just getting to the heart of a character and what shaped them that way!!

a soft place to fall by petruchio (@petruchio): This was a gorgeous fic about Johanna coming back to District 12 after the war, I really love the way her recovery is portrayed and how all of the characters are struggling to adapt to a life that's in their control.

Biggest Surprises: I think that I’m capable of writing longer pieces? I was flying blind for both the longer pieces I did on deadline and somehow finished on time. I reread "anatomy of a haunted heart" the other day and I still can't believe I did that, lol. It was very scary, but I'm proud of it.

What I Learned: To keep writing when I'm feeling discouraged, sometimes I write a piece and I think it's mediocre, but when I go back and compare it to things I had written before, there is definitely growth there. I've been rereading what I wrote this year since I was feeling like I was rushing through pieces and they weren't as good, but I was really proud of some of the works I put out! So I guess I've had to keep in mind that I'm always changing, even if that's not evident at all times.

What I Want to Write Next Year: I want to try writing horror--I think that would be a real challenge for me, but I love reading it. I want to do more outlined/planned out fics. I want to finish at least 3 of my WIPs: my arranged marriage AU, the last part to a Bollywood series i posted, and my post-destroy fic!

Most importantly, thank you to everyone who has read, commented on, and supported my writing--I would not have written without y'all, and I'm so happy to have found this community of people who also feel that writing and reading are necessary to them!! It makes writing so much more fun, I'm really grateful to have you 💕💕

[bearlytolerant]

Fandom: Starfield

Rating: T

Pairing: Sam Coe x f!Spacefarer

Word Count: 1241

somewhere close to me

Sunset washes the balcony in warm orange hues where Sam leans against the railing, sipping from his glass of Chandra Melbec. Wine isn’t his regular go-to. But this one isn’t half bad. The waiter’s description—if he’s remembering correctly—was a full bodied red wine with notes of chocolate and fresh earth.

Apparently he likes the taste of bittersweet dirt.

The sight of Shepard’s hand lingering on a very tall and very bald man, he does not like so much. Not that he blames the man for doing so. Shepard is a sight to behold and it isn’t fair.

“Hey, you look just like Sam Coe.” Everything in him wants to ignore the comment. But he plasters on a charming smile and turns to address the gala attendee. Just a kid, maybe pushing twenty, probably not unlike him at that age. Most likely being dragged around and forced to attend fancy events, riding the coattails of his wealthy parents. Sam softens.

“You know, I get that a lot.”

“Huh, weird. You’re not him though, right?”

“What if I told you I am?”

“Nah, you look too old to be him.”

Doing his best not to laugh he tells the kid, “well, we don’t all age gracefully.”

The kid stares at him a little dumbfounded but then his eyes light up and his mouth kinda hangs in an O as he processes the information.

“You are him! Can I get a selfie?”

Sam obliges, setting his glass of wine on a nearby table. Smiling big, the kid pulls out his phone and snaps a shot of them side by side. “My grandma’s going to love this! Thanks man!”

He wanders off and Sam sighs. Honestly, he never considered he might be popular amongst the elderly. Learn something new everyday.

Sam grabs his wine again. Takes a sip. Swirls the glass and watches the kid move on to the next conversation. Then his eyes drift back to Shepard where the tall man’s hand is settled just above the swell of her ass. His fingers barely graze the exposed skin on her back and he practically chokes on his next sip of wine.

It’s none of his business but his feet are already carrying him over there.

Shepard is all smiles, more than she usually is. “Oh, Sam, this is Dalton Fiennes, Ryujin’s Chief of Security. This is—“

“Akila’s very own Sam Coe,” the stoic man says while sticking his hand out.

Sam switches the wine to his other hand. There’s a little surprise that this man—Dalton—would be familiar with the Coes. Maybe his fan base consists of more than just grannys. Or, more likely, it’s his job to know anyone and everyone worth knowing. His job to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong. He extends his hand to Dalton. Of course, the guy’s got a firm grip. It’s crushing but at least Dalton’s large and surprisingly soft hand isn’t on Shepard’s back anymore.

“So how did you two meet?” Sam asks, trying not to be too obvious as he flexes his fingers.

Shep says, “you know when you and I first met and I had just started working at Ryujin to make ends meet?”

Sam nods.

“There was a bit of a security issue which required us to work closely together. I was able to become well acquainted with Dalton through that.”

The emphasis isn’t lost on him nor is that smile that’s thrown at Dalton.

“Have to applaud her. Without her assistance, Ryujin would have had an insurmountable mess to clean up. She’s truly a unique and remarkable woman.”

“I wholly agree,” Sam says.

“Keep the praise coming, it’s nice to have the ego stroked every now and then,” Shepard says with a small laugh.

“I would gladly give you well deserved praise all night.”

Sam nearly chokes again, the wine burning as it goes down. They don’t notice. He watches as the two of them exchange a meaningful glance and then she looks away, taking a sip from her own glass of wine. Sam wants to tease her and he would if they were alone. Or maybe with their friends. Certainly not as the third wheel to whatever dynamic he’d found himself in.

The half beat of silence is interrupted when Dalton says,”excuse me. It appears I am being summoned.” He’s looking past them, listening to someone speak on his earpiece. Then he gives Shepard a charming smile and brushes his fingers down her arm, briefly squeezing her hand before letting it go. “It was lovely seeing you here tonight, Zero.”

Her name is a number and Dalton makes it so intimate and personal. Sam practically has goosebumps on his arms and he’s not even the intended audience.

“Hopefully, I will have the pleasure of crossing your path again.”

“Likewise. Have a wonderful evening Dalton,” she says.

Sam’s heart is in his throat. He downs the other half of his wine in an instant and follows Shepard back to the balcony.

“Was it just me or was there some heat between you two?”

It’s not some and there’s no question. But how else is he supposed to ask if she’s taken and that’s his competition?

Shepard’s cheeks are a lovely pink and he doesn’t remember ever seeing them like that before. She’s not really the blushing type. Usually she’s the one causing the blushing.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

Sam leans over the balcony railing, though his attention is fully on Shep. “So you two—uh—“

“Do you really want to go there?”

“We don’t have to. But I would like to remind you of a certain someone who was really pushy on the subject of Jacob Coe.”

“Fair point.” She sighs. “It’s a yes—after I stopped working there. I—he, well.” She clears her throat, lost for a moment in what he can only assume is a memory. The blush blooms brighter, and she chuckles a little.

There’s a moment of regret as he hangs onto her every word. Not sure if he can handle the details that she might lay on him but to satisfy his curiosity, he needs to know.

“The simplest answer is we were—something but weren’t cut out for that something long term. Mostly myself to blame for that.”

He silently thanks whatever gods might be out there for sparing him.

She breathes deep and meets his gaze. “I realized that it wasn’t fair to be with him when I’m madly in love with someone else.”

“Oh.” Sam deflates.

Who the hell is she in love with? Someone from Constellation? Another random person that he has yet to meet? Even though a tiny voice in his head hopes that someone is him, he doubts it could be. But he doesn’t ask and she doesn’t tell. Everything about her is unreadable. Still, he thinks of the kiss on his cheek earlier. Makes him wonder. But he’s seen her kiss Walter on the cheek too. Something like that isn’t enough to go on when making bold and grandiose declarations of his—feelings. Not to mention—oh no—the revelation dawns on him. Did she see him as another father figure?

Though time suspends for him, everyone around them is shuffling to their seats. The gala performances are to begin. There’s more food to eat, wine to drink.

“Come on, let’s go find Walter and Issa.”

Sam follows, setting his muddied mind aside, hoping for something stronger than a glass of wine.

[fandomsandfeminism]

If you haven't read this book (oh gods, please do) or any Discworld (please. Please it will change your brain chemistry), I feel the need to add- often these books capture so perfectly the crushing disappointment and frustration of people being people in the worst ways.

But, importantly, Sam (and Granny and Tiffany too) still fight for them. Still go out into the dark and the rain to protect people from the worst they might do to each other. Even frightened and stupid and small minded, Discworlds protagonists will do the thankless work of being the Shepard in the field and the light in the dark, because someone has to.

The key part of that first quote, I think, is the "when you saw people as things to be measured" because-

"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is." "It's a lot more complicated than that--" "No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts." "Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes--" "But they starts with thinking about people as things..."

--from Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett.

"People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up."

[portmantaur]

I wonder if, in prioritizing The Shepard’s Crown the way he did at the time he did, Pratchett was thinking about his daughter. I wonder if he was thinking about his readers, especially the younger cohort.

I wonder if Pratchett was thinking of Granny Weatherwax as she was in Equal Rites, haltingly and begrudgingly ushering the first girl into wizarding, while he wrote about Tiffany Aching uncertainly but unwaveringly ushering the first boy into witching. I wonder if he was thinking about how, much like life, stories tend to be cyclical. I wonder if he was thinking about loss from the point of view of the one doing the leaving.

Tiffany Aching once told a strange, ancient, and frightened creature that she was made up of little parts of “everyone who ever changed the way she thinks” right before she taught that creature, at its request, how to die. Later, not very long after losing Granny, she asks You the Cat, “where is Granny Weatherwax?” to which the cat seems to reply, “everywhere.” I think about that a lot - about the lasting nature of love, even hard love, even love that seems fleeting. Clumsy love and deliberate love and love that surprises. Unrequited or embraced. How love sticks around, how it lingers even after it leaves.

I think about how the first handful of Discworld books have a different tone than the rest of the collection, and how this is also true of the last handful. I wonder if Pratchett was thinking of the irreverent “what if we do this?” premises of those first few books while he was writing (or dictating) the last few that seem distinctly haunted by a more pressing theme of “what if we don’t?”

I read somewhere that one of Pratchett’s last requests was that his unfinished works be destroyed, and that the hard drive containing that work was in fact obliterated. I’ve never actually had the heart to look up the truth of this, because it feels so appropriate when you think about The Shepard’s Crown being his last Discworld installment, published after his passing. I wonder if he was thinking about the last thing he wanted to say to the world at large before he retreated to the privacy of his loved ones’ company.

And I think about what a big question “where is Granny Weatherwax?” is, in a world where existence-after-death is possible but uncertain, in a world where time can be overlapped and stitched together, in a world where a man made nearly evil by circumstance can be reincarnated as a root vegetable that began growing before he even died, in a world where Death will bargain with a talking cat, in a world where “hereditary” is a metaphysical concept, in a world where there are known to be many - maybe infinite - other worlds. In all of that, where is Granny Weatherwax? Where is all of the work she has done, the effort she has expended, the love she has engaged in, the changes she has brought about in other lives?

And I think about how big and unknowable, how warm and comforting, how vast and frightening, how infinitely far away and close-as-your-own-skin the answer is:

Everywhere.

[hazelcephalopod]

The Great Hunt Ch 31: On the Scent

Cairhien Sun symbol.

Reunions are had and plans are lay what new adventures await our poor little guys and very cool autistic granny?

disclaimer: there will be spoilers, I will tag them but this is a book from 30 years ago that I am desperately trying to finish. I am very ADHD and this helps me do that. Also, it’s my first read thru but I am somewhat familiar with the story and what is going to happen, probably not enough to not be surprised tho. Happy reading! 

All WOT spoilers. 

Rand POV

OH! Verin is the Reader. Well that’s not a Wisdom, but an Aes Sedai kinda is! (Sp: this is wrong)

“Lord Rand of House al’Thor.” Tragic main character disease and a nice coat continues to plague this poor Shepard. 

Oh no he thinks he’s done. Oh you poor sweet dipshit

Love how they do behave like a DnD party but we get the narration that no, NPCs are listening and reacting to this very suspicious and concerning conversations happening in the middle of the street. 

Mat: (summarizes the last few weeks for him)… & where the hell have you been? Rand: Perrins a what?!

Ah. Nvm Verin and the Reader are in fact separate people. Still Verin is here!

Inn found: The Great Tree. Innkeeper: Mistress Tiedra. 

Hurin didn’t smell any Trollocs and tbh I’m not sure there ever were any. Sry Rwnd my guy, I still support most of your wrongs. 

… I don’t think Rand is doing well. Like, this is a lot of suspicion. Which is somewhat reasonable but… idk. This is all a lot for anyone and uh, he’s more than anyone regrettably for him

Warm baths are nice tho aren’t they! 

“…he chose the black coat, to suit his mood…”

Fucking “Selene”… this poor guy (just in general not just her, but also her). 

I almost envy Rand. Got mail? Just burn all of it. No mail. Nor responsibilities. Nor choices to make. Just burn it! It’s flammable! 

“Mat was juggling three boiled eggs and trying to appear nonchalant.” A) how? He’s juggling!; b) who is he trying to nonchalantly impress here exactly? 

Really enjoy Loial having pockets large enough for presumably sizable books. 

Switch POV: Perrin. 

Really appreciate leaning into “who knows what and how do they view those things?” Here. 

I am astounded still that it is book 2(!) and magic portals and different worlds have just been dropped like “yup there’s countless other worlds sorta like ours. And teleportation. Anywayyyy….!”

Verin hearing about “Selene” and the portal stones and shit thinking: this is weird and fucking suspicious. “Hey—”

Mmm delicious meal. Oh and we are back to remembering Mat is dying and other sadness? 

Hey! It’s “The Travels of Jain Farstrider”!

Lord Barthanes… hmm. Familiar…

“There are Darkfriends among the high as well as the low.” -Verin. What an interesting thing to say my beloved autistic granny.  

Barthanes Damodred?! Well of course the rumor would be enough. Tbh if the king was smart he’d have the rumor started for the express purpose of destroying Barthanes. You’d think it would make the king suspicious but I’m not so sure anymore that anyone would care or notice. 

“The more he found out about kings, the less he liked them.” -Perrins thoughts. Yup, a shit for sure. 

Rand like: dammit Hurin how will I burn those letters now! 

It’s like a heist thing! Gotta get in and do the things to the rich guy/s! 

That’s not dignity Perrin it’s fear and discomfort. With a good dash of “I hate this” but because of the former. 

Amazing! Verin: looks at the kings letter “well this is trash” burns it. I love her. 

“People see what they expect to see.” -Verin. Truer words madam. 

5!? These fuckers are obsessed with Rand! Rand! (I mean I think he’s adorable but really?)

Oh oh right. So, uh Barthanes has the horn. That’s what the heist is for. It is a literal heist. I mean, this book has almost everything. We got to a heist, we started with an adventure novel, survival, several other things, and now also a heist. I probably should have mentioned -or tbh realized- this earlier. 

Oh right the giant ass buried statues. Which are apparently the largest of the sa’angreal which can be used by channelers and seem very powerful. The one we’ve seen can only be used by men. There’s two in total. Hmm… I’m sure they couldn’t be important at all. The womens one is on Tremalking. Wherever that is. Apparently they were created as weapons which were never used. So. Probably not important at all. /s

I am sure rn Rand is terrified but this is overpowered by him suspecting the ancient statutes are (somehow) part of the plot to control him and still trying to convince himself he is not the Dragon. Mmm mmm nope. This is all part of the plot to frame him as a false dragon. Nothing else. 

Well what a relief they must be used in tandem to Break the World but one wonders how much damage they could do alone?! /s (the big ass sa’angreal)

… you need to be very powerful to use them. Whose that powerful? No *widely* known man, and several women including Moiriane. No worries until the Dragon proclaims himself. *stares off into the distance suspiciously close to Rand* surely no Aes Sedai would help with that tho right? (Yes sure Verin. Wait did she lie…? No… no I think not)

Perrin, Rand knows less than you think you do. By far. And you admit to not knowing much. I mean technically Rand knows a lot, but tbh I feel like he’s too in denial to actually use that information. 

Another great chapter. Bands back together. Verin is here. They are going to do a heist in a nobles house for the Horn which rests on Rand’s shoulders, and his impeccable half-hated new wardrobe of three very nice coats. More letters were burned. Everyone is loosing it a little bit imo. Absolute a+’s all around. 

[a-gem-in-the-rough]

@from-shepard-to-prince

As per usual, Granny's was packed full for dinner, with the charmings sat at a table across from the large booth that the dwarves have taken up, Grumpy making a fuss as David continuously messes with him, almost always singling Grumpy outside Grumpy spends the most nights aside from Hook in the jail for drunken antics

“Oh David. It’s not like you’re an Angel either. I could tell you all some stories…” Snow smirks.

She’s interrupted by a loud screeching sort of roar outside.

Emma is the first one out the door.

She’s surprised to see a knight brandishing a sword in the middle of town. Probably a bit more surprised than she should be.

This surprise is followed by terror as she located what’s making the roaring.

A massive pissed off dragon.

Seemingly one that had been engaged in a fight for a while. Judging by the damage.

The knight stands poised as the dragon charges. Swinging the hefty sword with elegance and grace. Almost like it’s a sort of dance.

Emma watches in shock as the Dragon notices the crowd gathering. And starts to charge towards them.

The knight leaps into the air and lands on the back of the injured dragon. Plunging the sword into it a few times.

The dragon skids to a halt just in front of Granny’s. And heaves a final breath.

[myriadxofxmuses]

Her smile dropped slightly when he spoke his dad's fate. It made her think of her mother, whom she hadn't thought of in years, but the mention of a parent being a disappointment brought her right back to the forefront of her memories. And the idea to utilize his profession to once again try and track her down followed shortly after - although the desire to connect with the woman was fleeting at best.

"And have you? Salvaged the Shepard name?" she asked genuinely, forcing what little memories she had of Shay back to the depths of her subconscious. "You definitely get brownie points from me for looking after little old ladies like your granny and for taking me out for drinks, so I'd say you're on your way," she added assuringly with a softened smile.

------

After ordering their first round Ivy found a table tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the bar, giving them a more private seating away from possible eavesdropping ears. "I want to apologize," she started, momentarily glancing around the bar. "I feel like I've given you the thrid degree and you haven't gotten a chance to have your burning questions for me answered. So," she continued, taking a drink. "What would you like to know about the infamous Ivelina DeLuca?" she asked with playfulness.

He had a point. Meeting for voluntary drinks was hardly grounds for a kidnapping. It'd be a missing person at best. "I guess not, Theo," she agreed with a mischievous smirk.

She had fully expected an alias given his profession. Not his actual name. But it was good to know he was honest when it mattered.

"I'm Ivy," she introduced herself, softening her smile. "Or Ivelina if you're feeling fancy," she added playfully with a short wiggle. "So, Theo, what made you want to be a cop? Is it some kind of generational thing or were you a hall monitor in school and just couldn't give up the power it gave you?" she teased lightheartedly.

[cosmicrhetoric]

the discworld queen of the elves is so fucking tragic like ok she lost to granny. that's fine, everyone loses to granny. death lost to granny. but magrat was able to rough her up?? like actually punch her out?? magrat??? and then YEARS after all of that she gets her ass handed to her by an actual nine year old. like this lady is just a punching bag to witches at this point if the series had continued i bet petulia would've given her a noogie or something

[thisisasideblogforbooks]

sO

a lot of people are upset with some— choices — made in wayward son. and let me tell you— same. buT there were also several times i found myself laughing out loud and truly enjoying it. i just finished it and i’m still feeling ~pains~ in my chest but i wanted to make a list of the things i did like (there are heavy spoilers!!):

shepard. enough said honestly

baz lookin like a granny with the scarf on his head but simon describing him as a “boy marilyn monroe”

the whole faire scene. i loved every bit of it. baz being mistaken for being in a costume bc he’s too posh. simon’s wings just flying out and people applauding. the foam sword fight and baz reciting shakespeare. the fight and penny literally decaptitating a vampire in front of a crowd of people. “we’ll be back at 6 and 9 for more shows.”

baz teaching simon how to drive stick and simon being a natural

baz and penny singing amazing grace to get their stuff and baz’s belongings randomly flying up to him throughout the novel

baz thinking his magic doesn’t work in america but he’s really just too british

agatha being unable to let go of penny’s hand after the battle

agatha’s banter! i feel like we got a lot more of who she is in this book

any scene with baz and penny. they were my favorite relationship in this book tbh (penny crying on his shoulder in the cheesecake factory!! baz kissing her cheek and basically calling her family!!)

showing that nobody’s okay after years of trauma

agatha being heroic and knowing how to do something penny doesn’t! basically agatha being a badass

simon flying!!! simon laying in the truck bed and just enjoying life and nature!! simon still being a badass with weapons!! simon flYING!!!

all the new spells! especially the one penny used to make simon’s wings go away

the in-depth descriptions of every expensive piece of clothing baz wore

so would i say i’m satisfied? not at the moment. but there were also a lot of parts i enjoyed!!

[storybrooke-and-cinnamon]

“Ooooh… I didn’t even see that cocoa. Make that two I guess.” She smiles at granny.

“And I’d like to try your famous Shepards pie please.”

Ruth pulls the car over to the side of the road with a panicked look on her face.

“You felt that too right? Marie, Tell me you’ve either changed a tire before. Or you have signal so we can YouTube it.” She frowns as she parks the car.

They end up parked right next to the sign for what appears to be a small town.

Storybrooke.

@storybrooke-and-cinnamon

"Not since I was a kid, and I almost smacked myself with the tire iron then." Marie pulls out her phone, "not much, but my phone is pretty shit, I'm sure if we got further in town we'd get signal." She takes a look at the tires, "oh, I don't need to be able to change a tire to tell you we're fucked... That's something we gotta take it in to a shop for, the rims all busted up," she points to the busted tire. "The axel might be out of alignment too... If we can push it into town we can jack it up and I can take a better look, stuff like that's not hard to spot, but the local mechanic might still try to price gouge us simply cuz we're from out of town." I glance to the sign, "we ain't far though, shouldn't be too hard to push..."

[sanctuarysparrow]

I’ve been reading books but I haven’t had much time to process them outside of my own head. I’d love to write some thoughts down soon. Writing things down, makes them feel more anchored. For now just a quick ramble about the books next on my list, I finished the last of the Earthsea books, The Other Wind. I love this series with my whole heart and soul. I want everyone to read it, no joke! I’ve recommend it to three people already and I just bought all the books as a birthday gift for one of them eventhough their birthday isn’t for two more months lol. Now that I’ve finished Earthsea, I ordered The Left Hand Of Darkness and the book arrived Last week. I wasn’t sure if I had to start from book 1 (LHOD is book 4 I think?) of this series but the way I’ve understood it, all the books are seperate in one world setting so it should be fine. I just love that title. “The Left Hand Of Darkness” That title has been stuck in my head since I first heard of it. I couldn’t help myself and get that one first. I’m so hyped to read it! However since it’s october I want to keep things spooky and witchy so it probably won’t be for this month just yet. *I mention spoilers in this paragraph!! particularly for The Shepard’s crown!* Instead I’ve just finished the second TIffany Aching book (Terry Prachett’s Discworld) and it made me so happy, I literally had tears in my eye on my morning commute lol. What can I say, haha, sometimes I fucking miss Terry Prachett! I dunno man. I got so emotional because these books feel like a passing of the torch. Not just Granny Weatherwax to Tiffany but also Terry Prachett to us. I’ve unfortunatly read a quote online by accident so I know that Granny passes away in The Sheperd’s Crown and I feel like Terry Prachett took Granny with him. We are Tiffany, He left us his lessons and now we have to do it on our own. He speaks with such love of his homeland in this books, The chalk, the sheeps ect. I feel there is such care and love in these books. And he gives such important wisdom too. Not with -chosen ones- and -wave your wand magic- but with real life, everyday struggle as magic. It all matters so much to me. This is important stuff for kids to learn when they are young. The next book, Wintersmith, arrived today so I might start that one. She is a witch after all so october is the perfect month to read more Tiffany! *end of spoilers!* I also bought Eight Days Of Luke by Diana Wynne Jones. I can’t get my hands on the Earwig book that is being turned into a Studio Ghibli movie. It was first on my list to read after Chrestomanci. However the bookcover of Eight Days Of Luke is so good. It’s the right level of creepy and cool. When I first saw it, it really got my attention and I knew I just had to read it next. The only thing I still have to do is find the right background song and then I’m good to go! I’m planning on changing up my authors soon though. I’ve mainly been alternating between Ursula K Leguin, Terry Prachett and Diana Wynne Jones and that’s been great but I think something new will do me good. So with that idea in mind, I bought The Potter’s Field by Ellis Peters. It’s one of the Cadfael books (and a murder mystery so appropriate for the spooky season). I have nearly all of them. I usually hunt for them on secondhand book markets or secondhand shops but with the pandemic I haven’t had the chance to do that this year. I found a copy online, also secondhand, but a bit pricier then what I’m used to paying. It’s in great condition though and it has the same cover as all my other books. I prefer the covers with the medieval style (think book of Kells, medieval miniatures...) letters and the gold details. I think aside from 2 books in my collection, all of them have that style of cover. They are all still wildly different edition so the spines aren’t the same but honestly, I don’t really care about hardcovers or special editions ect. If I can get my hands on it for a good price, I’m happy! It’s the inside that matters most after all. I love the thrill of finally finding that story you have been wanting to read on a bookshelf in a shop where you weren’t expecting it or were you hoped it would be but didn’t think you’d get that lucky. That’s the best. That just brightens my whole day. I hope we can soon get back to those days. For now however, I’ll be reading about monks solving crime and witches in all sort of alternate worlds doing all sorts of magic. May the world be kind to you my friends and may you enjoy a good book!