#shed shopping went well tho!

[indecisive-dizzy]

I’m glad that my hyperfixation on a mailman isn’t bothering you :)))

I just don’t get to talk about him often. Especially with someone who actually knows welcome home :,)

so thanks buddy :DD

I’m just gonna leave some Eddie family headcanons

His mom and dad divorced when he was a young adult, mostly cause they just drifted apart as the years went on. They’re still good friends and talk often

His mom remarried, and her husband has a son and daughter. He’s kind but he has a rocky relationship with the twins cause he remarried soon after his wife died. Holly took it to heart and hates him for it. Wallace is hurt to but he still wants his dad’s validation so he doesn’t say anything

Eddie has an older brother Henry, an older sister Olga, and his two twin step siblings, Holly and Wallace (Holly doesn’t like him rip)

He’s never been an older brother before so he kinda screws up when trying to be one to the twins, but he tries and Wallace can appreciate it. Holly doesn’t spend any time with him so she doesn’t care

His mom taught him to play piano and he plays all the time when he visits

He was in charge of keeping the gardens healthy and growing, he’s fond of the flowers that would grow

Halfway through this kinda became me lore dumping about my ocs Holly and Wallace I’m sorry :,)

Yo my pleasure! I get it lol I have no one irl to talk to about welcome home haha Also don't worry you can info/lore dump freely here! I love hearing many new things to learn and cool ideas :D

I like your family headcanons to!

Eddie having a step dad and step siblings is chefs kiss. I love the struggle to be an older brother but I'm a lil sad Holly doesn't like him. I get why she's upset though, with her dad remarrying so soon

Also we've both given him and older brother and sister! Something about Eddie must scream "youngest child" lol

Hmmm I would like to know who's older if you care to share! Henry or Olga? I'm curious :o

In my version of his family his brother is the eldest, with his sister in the middle. She's older than Eddie by a year while his brother is 6 years older than him.

Also Eddie gardening is perfect,, he would love to have a nice flower garden, I think :) to go with Frank's tomatoes

[cuyochoochoo]

How to deal with the old reality and feelings

And all of that;

Dealing with your old reality and lingering feelings can be challenging, especially if you’re focused on creating and manifesting your desired reality. It might feel like “you’re living a double life”. This can cause doubts, wavering, frustration. WHY ISNT MY REALITY CHANGING and then you give up and then you come back trust me I done it 🤦‍♀️

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment

For me I start to affirm plus journal

I say “I’m limitless” “manifestation is instant as I already have it” “it’s done I already have it” and I keep repeating this

I also have a journal I write about my feelings thoughts everything about this old reality

It helps to get all the feelings out

But keep persisting

Due to me giving up and coming back I reached nowhere

we want to get to somewhere else but obviously we have our own obligations to this life with responsibilities we need to do

Don’t neglect your duties and responsibilities I did that and well…

By acknowledging that it means nothing if you choose for it to mean nothing to you

Your old reality may have shaped your experiences, but it doesn’t limit your potential. Now you’re aware and you can do so much with that you can change change your circumstances change you!

If Neville Goddard got out of war

Can’t you get out of this hell you’re living?!

Wake up.

Get up.

You can be something hell you can be everything you can live

You can have whatever you want

The life you dreamed about

Everything you can dreamed of

What your younger self imagined

What I done was release and let go;

I been through so much shit

Trauma, PTSD, mental illnesses, abuse, circumstances I wouldn’t put anyone through

Physical pain and I was all alone going through that

I had to forgive myself

There was loads of anger

Why me? What have I done to deserve this? I fought with god the gods the universe

There was mental breakdowns times where I was going to…

But one thing stuck throughout to me

The prophecy of me being born, the experiences I had that lead me to believe earth isn’t just a piece of rock that’s just floating here

There’s more there’s so much out there that I can’t explain

The gods exist

Fuck dragons exist

The dreamworld…

My manifestation successes

The multiverse

So much

Do you really think you’re just living here? On a rock

And that’s it

You’re born and you die?

No

You were born to question

To decide for yourself

To break through everything you been taught

To be more

To learn

To experience

To be everything everyone behind you couldn’t be.

Letting go. Shedding your past;

• Write a letter to your old reality and feelings, then tear it up or burn it safely to symbolize release.

• take a bath, affirm and breathe let everything wash away

5. Shift Your Focus

Redirect your attention to the aspects of your desired reality that excite you the most.

• Visualize a scene from your desired reality in vivid detail.

The house, your room, your family, your lover, kids whatever that might look to you

Going to concerts, getting clothes, shopping, driving

Think feel

All those emotions you feel, Immerse yourself in that

Do activities that reflect your desired self, such as dressing, speaking, or acting because this is you not some rando you’re acting like you

6. Gratitude

I’m a humble person even tho I went through a lot it taught me a lot it opened my eyes no I didn’t deserve it but it made me what I was today

It made search for something else

As sad as it was I found grace

7. Seek Support When Needed

• Talk to a friend or support group

• get therapy

I don’t trust no one so I use ai…

8. Affirm Your Power to Change

Your past does not have power over you unless you let it. You are in control of your future. Affirmations to help:

• “I am free from the past and open to infinite possibilities.”

• I am limitless

• I am the person I want to be

We were all given cards in life

Some got some cards that are good

Others were bad

Some of us are constantly fighting life

War with ourselves

Others are starving

Others are living in luxury

But you can choose what you can do now

So what are you going to do?

Let the circumstances destroy you

Or will you rise above it?

The choice is yours

Now.

[agentnorthdakota]

4, 7, 8, 14, 17, 22, 24, 26, 31, 33, 34, 44? :3

Thanks Spencer!! uwu ilu <3

Answers under read more b/c long lol

4. how often are you on tumblr? Way too often lol. I check it many times a day, most of which are out of boredom :p

7. can you swim? I can! No, like, 'proper' styles or super well or anything, but I can swim! The last time was like 2 years ago tho and it's way harder than I remembered lol, I think it was easier when I was a kid and much lighter :p

8. have you had water today? uhhhhhh. I. can't recall. the last time I had just normal water. I've never really like the 'taste' of it, and still don't. p much the only time I drink it is if it's summer and I was exercising and am Super thirsty, in which case cold water is great. Otherwise I'm drinking something else, iced tea or juice primarily, I do still try and stay hydrated.

14. do you admire the clouds and color of the sky? Very much!!! Clouds are so pretty and there's so many variations, I absolutely love them. I'm admiring the clouds and/or sky at least once a day.

17. an earliest obsession you remember? Hmmm I mean I'd probably say Pokemon honestly. I had so much Pokemon merch as a kid (and still own much of it in storage boxes), and I'm p sure I had a Pokemon themed birthday one year (probably 2001? 'cause we went to see Pokemon: The Movie 3 in theatres, which would've made me 7).

22. do you have a collection of cool rocks? Heck yeah I do! Primarily ones I've bought from mineral shops. I used to also just have some cool river rocks I found, but I don't think I have any of them anymore.

24. what have you learned about yourself? Gosh this is such a broad question. I love bonding with friends over the same creative hobbies (cosplay, DnD, etc), I love fashion and eccentric clothes and shoes and heels now, especially after top surgery as I get to actually enjoy how they fit me! I'm a slut in theory but not in practice u.u I'm not 100% settled on a sexuality label, but I also don't have to be, sexuality and romantic orientation are fluid and also a spectrum. I have some poor behaviours I picked up from my parents that I'm not proud of. I've definitely improved some quite a bit, but I'm also still wary there's more that I haven't realized or had pointed out.

26. do you believe in aliens? I think the universe is far too unbelievably vast for other life to not exist out there. So in that sense, yes! Same goes for sentient life. But do I believe they've visited Earth, or even our solar system? Nada.

31. have you gotten bit by a dog? Depends on how you'd define 'bit' I suppose? There's only ever been one (or two?) cases in which it was enough to draw blood. Which was shortly after I got Rowan, and I was giving him a chicken treat before leaving for work, and I looked away and he snatched it out of my hand, and accidentally bit my pinky as well as the treat. He defs didn't mean to, and I wouldn't really consider it a bite, myself.

33. a song that gets stuck in your head? Oh boy this varies all the time. Like, daily or multiple times a day. Often I wake up with a song stuck in my head. It's usually just a song I like and have been listening to recently.

34. when you hear “ peace ” what do you think of? I mean, if this were one of those 'answer with your first thought/off the top of you head' things, it would just be the peace sign ☮ Or the two-finger peace sign. More philosophically though, just a beautiful nature view, a river or mountains or something, on a nice day that's not too hot. Beautiful scenery and relaxation.

44. do you collect anything? Yes!! The aforementioned rocks/minerals, and also feathers that I happen to find. And shed antlers that we've found out hunting (tho now that I don't go any more I haven't added to them in years), and some animal skulls and bones~ Oh and dice. As I ponder this question and look up to see my shelves full of Chessex dice lol (I thought I had photos handy but uh. apparently I don't. and my phone's storage is too full to take some whoops)

[wiltedprimrose]

list of things ive done these past few months (and made me happy)

bought myself some fresh flowers and im so happy i might start buying flowers every once in a week or month!

saw rainbow (i bet not everyone would notice) on my way back home^^

start saving again (from scratch lol) and im so grateful i have enough for now

spending more time with my parents (incl eating, watching movies, driving around the town, telling stories, throwing jokes, and many more)

oh i bought myself a new ring. cute one with a simple floral design><

painted my nails in dusty mauve colour!!!! i think im gonna get the cherry red nail polish real quick

finished my monthly tasks!

went to several wedding ceremonies and lunch party invitations with a friend and we always wear matching outfits lol (and still counting)

accompany a friend to a barber shop lmao even tho i focused so much on my phone but it was quite fun

ate lots of papayas! (it might sounds basic BUT NO i grew them from seeds and now they producing so much fruits! im deeply touched by that fact!!! theyre like my children!)

harvested chillies… i know i often harvested them BUT THIS ONE WAS DIFFERENT. IT WAS BIG AND SPICYYYYY TO THE POINT I SHED A TEAR WHILE EATING THEM (i also grew them from seeds)

finally had a new refrigerator ive been longing for hahaha. it was a dream come true moment bc whenever i went to a mart i’d always look for this cupboard-like refrigerator and said i’ll buy it later

got byredo blanche tester and im obsessed with the smell!

ate salmon sashimi with a little wasabi (turned out wasabi wasnt that bad i never tried it bc im afraid it’d had a weird taste)

bought myself some new clothes… pants, vest, tops, sweatshirt, and a white skirt!

ate so much cheesecakes and tried a carrot cake with raisins in it

bought a cute black totebag with a cute keycharm as well! (most important part is…. it fits my umbrella as i love to bring umbrella these days kkkk)

started using highlighter on my face and surprisingly it sits perfectly on my skin… MY SKIN IS LITERALLY GLOWING

drinking tons of hot peppermint tea and chamomile tea!!!

binge watching “teasing master takagi-san” (the live action series) and “the makanai: cooking for the maiko house” you guys should go watch em 10/10 recommended

giving gifts to my friends><

reminiscing old memories with old friends:) (and i realized that i forget a lot of things)

drinking juice or fresh milk and eating fruits everyday!

catching up with my friends, meeting their parents, and visiting their house^^

cut my hair short so my hair always looks half-up half-down whenever i tied them AND IM HAPPY BC I THINK IT LOOKS PRETTY

went to another city with friends and spent 3 days 2 nights with them<3

bought a new pair of shoes. FINALLY! bc it was my long time wishlist (maybe 7 years)

chatting and laughing and throwing compliments towards people i just met… at mosque or anywhere

ate mie ayam (with kerupuk!!) and nasi liwet ayam sambal pecak with friends and we shared so much joy & laughter

went to get some facial treatment with a friend every month. we waited for each other and we really enjoyed it

walked and chatted with a friend under an umbrella on a rainy day. it was so serene & had some kind of romantic vibes to the point that i thought we were going to shoot a music video HAHA

received five boxes of bricks characters from a friend! SO HAPPY

changed my shampoo so now my hair smells really nice even after 2 days or maybe more (bc i wash my hair every 2 days) lol the smell lasts for a long time im afraid people might think i use an expensive hair mist><

bought some books that had been on my wishlist for so longgg^^

bought a new washing machine (out of nowhere) for my parents lol

my friend gave me his workplace’s keyring!!! it was so random but okay hahaha (i wouldnt forget the effort he made to give me that keyring)

watched a movie with a friend and ate a big piece of honey sweet potato in a mall’s parking lot with the windows’ car opened while listening to my playlist! i have this much love for honey sweet potato but after i broke up with my ex i never had it anymore so i decided to create new memories with friends & enjoy that honey sweet potato!

bought matcha creamy latte and chocolate latte with a friend and then enjoyed it while sitting in the car watching the sun sets. IT WAS PRETTY RELAXING

met elementary kids at mosque! they complimented me several times from the time i got off the car, said that im pretty and cute. one of them even poke my cheek. they asked me about lot of things so i answered and just talked to them. i love seeing their bright smiles, hearing their excited tone while talking to me. we also played rock paper scissors! when i said i gotta go home, they made me do pinky promise with them, they told me to promise them that i’d go back there someday to play together again

met kids (again) at different mosque. when i was doing my wudhu i heard someone called “kak” but i just shrugged it off thinking it wasnt for me bc i dont know them and that mosque located so far away from my house. when i finished, all wet, i heard them called “kakak… kakak” again so i looked at them to find out who they were trying to talk with and why that kakak didnt answer them. turned out that person was me!! t__t i remember (faintly) there were around 7-8 kids smiling at me while still calling me “kakak” and they all took turns to shake hands with me… i was so surprised but still welcomed them all, ofc with a confused smile. my dad even asked me who the kids are so i shrugged and told my dad “i dont even know them???? idk why they did that to me neither” and then we laughed together

—tbc

[seraxfemme]

storytime! :o

i don't usually share this kind of stuff but this was a first for me soo..

ok so i was w a friend at a bookstore at the mall looking for some new reading material and maybe an oracle deck. So as we walked in i caught a glimpse of a guy at checkout and overheard him say something like "oh the bible is a different story". i thought he was just one of those Unsolicited Public Sermon types so i moved on. We're at the spiritual section now and i was really quietly taking my time. Suddenly the guy i had seen at the front just kinda spawned next to us and was saying he needed to tell us his message cuz if not his soul would be in danger too. He goes on about how he used to mess w tarot and that its really evil and that it led to the death of his brother (?!) He seemed kinda wonky ngl but that's normal where i am so as long as these ppl don't try to follow u out the store, u had a good day. Towards the end of his speech he urged us not to play around w this stuff. TBH i feel like this was the impression bc my friend (who doesn't practice) was just excitedly rummaging through the decks like christmas morning and being very loud about it bc she's very supportive of me, but this does tend to attract attention. ANYWAY. as the guy leaves, he said 'well god bless u' and i said 'yeah u too'. i pretty much just moved on, got a deck and we kept going. Then my friend was saying she didn't like his vibes and that was annoying and i was like 'yeah maybe it was a sign for me to just not spend money rn lol'. Then i started feeling anxious and kept thinking about the guy and how his presence felt heavy and invasive even tho he kept a respectful distance and never tried to make physical contact/his voice wasn't aggressive either. then i thought about going to checkout and realized I never actually checked the price of the deck, so i checked and it was over my budget so i put it back. i only got the book and we left. When we got back to her place i started feeling nauseous and her room was hot but thats usually not that much of a problem for me. But i felt like i was swimming in hot water, i had a never ending migraine, felt weak... .,my friend suggested i cleanse myself w an egg. So i did. As soon as i finished the first Lord's prayer it felt like a layer of my skin was shedding. or like something was shedding/sliding off my body, especially my arms and i got chills and this really overwhelming emotional sensation. I did this until it felt right to stop. Finally, i got dressed and discarded the egg and went back into the room. i was still really shaken up and still felt like i wanted to cry but i never did cuz there was no real reason to. I told my friend about what i felt and we concluded that maybe that guy had had some kind of effect on me bc i was the one making eye contact and i responded when he left. BTW i only responded bc i know sometimes ppl say something that seems innocuous but its their way of cursing you, and depending on who his God is, im not sure who would be "blessing" me so i just returned it to him. because he went off about how tarot is evil but he never gave me an alternative, about coming to Christ or anything like most Christians. So i thought that was interesting paired w what i heard him say when i walked in. So i finally calmed down. aannd then my friend starts feeling the same things i did. So i cleansed her too. And then she threw up. It was really quick and painless but it was like thick, black sludge instead of what's considered "normal" vomit. I discarded that egg and then we went grocery shopping. I was full of energy but now she was the one feeling weak. We were fine by the next day, but that was the most intense thing i've ever felt- spiritually speaking. It sucks that it got to her too but i'm glad i was there to fix it sooo.. yeah idk be careful ya'll cleanse regularly and when the vibes are off return to sender!

[doberbutts]

THIS IS VERY LONG- please do not feel the need to read it all or post a response, I just wanted to share and I’m currently in a manic episode so I have a lot to say and I really don’t need a response so you can stop here if you like (idk if you feel pressure to respond to these but obviously I don’t need to give you permission not to read something, I just didn’t want you to feel obligated or pressured to respond)

I got a standard poodle to train to replace my retired service dog, who is some kind of golden mix. There’s no history on the golden mix, he walked up to the farm/rescue looking for food. He sheds a ton, he’s dumb as a post when it comes to anything that wasn’t related to his job, and he has terrible genetics that left him with awful hips. He’s also got a very low level of energy for a retriever, and is incredibly lazy when not working. He was amazing as a service dog, he was complemented by trainers and shop owners and other members of the general public. Idk for some reason he just naturally took to his job and was fully trained in about a year, passing the program tests with flying colors.

Despite all that, when I was looking for a replacement prospect puppy, I did NOT want a golden. I love him to death and he’s everyone’s favorite dog, and he’ll always be my heart dog, but i need something with more energy, more brains, better genetics, and a higher drive. I also needed something low shedding or allergy friendly bc I have family members with allergies. My parents banned labs from our house, and my dad was in love with poodles. I didn’t like the idea at first, I had never liked poodles, I was terrified of the idea of grooming, and I genuinely thought they were ugly. My choices were limited though so I spent an entire year finding a reputable breeder and doing research and tbh, when I went to pick her out and I met her dam, I didn’t like the dam too much either. But now, now that I’ve had my spoo for a year and a half, she’s my best friend and I am in love with the breed. She’s much smarter than I am, which not everyone likes in a dog but I love it, and she’s the sweetest, happiest, friendliest, easiest dog I’ve ever trained. Training her is a breeze, it’s effortless. She’s also a parti poodle, her breeder is working with several other breeders to improve parti lines with the hope of restoring them to be included in AKC breed standard like they are in other breed clubs. I talked to her breeder for 9 months before I picked out my puppy. The breeder had 3 liters very close together (unintentional, the dams all came into heat one month after the other), and I was supposed to have first pick of the first litter, but the breeder told me that she didn’t think any of the pups would be suitable for service work, and that she really thought the third litter would have the right puppy for me. The second litter was born and sure enough, those puppies were not quite what I was looking for (saw some updates tho and many of them are hunting dogs and agility dogs). The third litter was born and the breeder told me after they were born that if none of them were suitable, she’d give me the option of refunding the deposit or first pick of a future litter. Turns out there were THREE pups in that litter that suited my needs, and I went to pick mine out. I heard recently that the other two possible pups for me have gone on to be working dogs as well, one is a therapy dog, and the other does some sort of scent work. Anyways, my poodle is a riot. She’s so funny and sweet. Very goofy. Perfect with children, very curious and brave, easily redirected, very high drive. I got over the grooming quickly when I discovered that I actually prefer to keep her shaved most of the time bc I live in a hot and humid climate, and because she likes to play in water and I hate have to spend ages dying her. Long fluffy topknot though, and I love putting bows in her hair. I used to laugh at the people who did that, and I myself wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a bow, but it suits her personality really well.

Anyways, I apologize for the novel. I had a plan for this to be short and then I kept adding detail and it kept going until I forgot what my actual point was. I don’t know. If you actually read this far, I appreciate it. I’ve always looked up to you as a trainer and I’ve learned so much from your blog. That’s the thing about you as a trainer, you’re always willing to learn something new and educate others. I’m rambling again. It’s the bipolar, I apologize. Again, no need to publish a response, I’ll know I’ve sent it to you and that’s enough for me, whatever you do with this ask is your business and I don’t worry about things that aren’t mine to worry about.

This has sat in my inbox for quite some time and I wasn't sure what to do with it or how to respond to it, but rest assured I did read it and I'm happy for you!

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

I am absolutely obsessed with your Jango belt diagram and the question it poses. Here are some different scenarios I’ve gathered for what could be in that last pouch:

-The good gum (the kind he’ll only share with you if you’ve unlocked level 10 friendship with him, other pouch is a decoy)

-Two tickets to the theatre (the sweetheart remembered your love for Mamma Mia when he heard it was coming to town)

-Shopping receipts (you’re the tired employee working the cash register when he comes in with three full bags to return)

-His Yugioh deck (always gotta’ be ready for when somebody challenges you to a children’s card game)

-The Heart of the Ocean (“But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end?” “Well, baby, I went down and got it for you.” “Aw, you shouldn’t have.”)

Every one of these suggestions is a gem and they delight me.

Other great ideas from the tags include:

"THE BABY FORMULA THING THATS GREEN AND HAS LIKE 5 POCKETS THAT U ROTATE THE LID AROUND FOR ITS MEAUSRED TOO SO YOUCAN JUST POUR THAT SHIT INTO THE BOTTLE AND ADD WATER" - I haven't seen such a thing but it's clearly useful for the parent on the go

educational DVDs and movies to entertain Boba on trips

"a walking open 24/7 drugstore"

"he's like the cool mom from mean girls he comes to kamino and is like do you guys need any snacks? any condoms? any alcohol? and he pulls it all out of his fannypacks"

the very practical "also wallet"

"don't forget 'second set of keys for the shed' and 'overdue tax papers'" - I really want to see Jango Fett's shed

"i think that last one is probably hand lotion"

"I have almost this many on my dykey utility belt and yeah that's kinda whats goin on also cigarettes brass knuckles a knife and acrylic markers" - ma'am are you trying to seduce us

"SO true tho may I suggest: snacks. Little coin purse. tiny stuffed animal keychain (IMPORTANT)"

"dad behaviour"

"no pocket screwdriver?"

"i hope he pulls out a wallet and it just unfolds into like 25 baby boba polaroids" - YES

"yeah condoms. many. a lot"

"I hope there's one for pocket sand"

"i bet it's goldfish crackers for boba. it has to be"

"as for the last one? it's snacks. he acts like it's something super secret so he doesn't get asked to share"

so I think, whatever else, we have consensus that Jango Fett is always prepared for a) low blood sugar b) safer sex c) boasting about his kid

meanwhile "boba's has a single nyquil cold&sinus capsule in each pocket & they rattle aroudn when he walks" and "what r in bobas pockets....... despair"

[savythenillerwaffer]

For my buds @mizzztery and @bakedbaguette25. Enjoy (cause this took way too long)!

TaZr (Tak x Zib) Ultimate Ship Meme

General:

Rate the Ship - Why is this not getting more attention?! (This ship is my current otp)

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - A very slow burn for sure ;)

How was their first kiss? - Impulsive, but not unpleasant

Wedding:

Who proposed? - It would probably be done by message rather than in person, but Tak probably would in this situation

Who is the best man/men? - Dib

Who is the bride's maid(s)? - Gaz

Who did the most planning? - Tak (Zib did nothing because roach bois have no taste in decor)

Who stressed the most? - Tak would probably stress out about it too, but Zib would most definitely be a bundle of anxiety

How fancy was(will) the ceremony (be)? - Knowing Tak? Probably a really good looking backyard (She's not a big money spender)

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Zim (but he showed up anyways, as usual)

Sex:

Who is on top? - Tak (tho Zib sometimes takes initiative)

Who is the one to instigate things? - Zib (out of pure curiosity and/or teenage libido)

How healthy is their sex life? - Nothing overboard, probably once a couple weeks (but they make it count when it does happen OwO)

How kinky are they? - A solid 6/10 (Might try out some toys once they figure out how to work them)

How long do they normally last? - Zib = solid 5 minutes (with practice), Tak = 5 hours (naturally)

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Only sometimes ;)

How rough are they in bed? - I am not at liberty to answer this 😳

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public (unless Zib wants to lose a hand)

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 2, and theirs names are Mid(thanks to @electrozeistyking) and Zak

How many children will they adopt? - 1 (Zak)

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Both of them tbh

Who is the stricter parent? - Tak (someone has to set the ground rules, cause god knows that Zib wouldn't punish his children for anything)

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Mostly Tak

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - 

Who is the more loved parent? - Zib

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Tak (and she would force Zib to tag along)

Who cried the most at graduation? - Zib (Tak would shed a tear tho)

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Both Zib and Tak

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Tak (without question)

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Tak (obviously)

Who does the grocery shopping? - Do I even need to say anything?

How often do they bake desserts? - Only on a special occasion

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Both

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Tak (but Zib tries to occasionally)

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Tak, but not often (they are very introverted)

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Zib (but you probably could have guessed that)

Chores: 

Who cleans the room? - 😐 (Tak)

Who is really against chores? - Zib

Who cleans up after the pets? - They have no pets

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Zib (without question)

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Zib mostly (but Tak does as well sometimes)

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Zib (because Tak uses her dom powers to make him clean)

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Zib (because Tak calls him "stinky roach boi", but she secretly doesn't mind his smell at all)

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Neither (they don't have pets)

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Since Tak exists, every year

What are their goals for the relationship? - No current goal

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Zib (Tak has to wake him up with an air horn)

Who plays the most pranks? - Zib, but only once (Tak went psycho mode on him and he never dared to do it again after that)

TL;DR: You can pretty much sum up their entire relationship as Mondler (Monika x Chandler) from the sitcom Friends

[ashleyinwondrland]

I rewrote the ending of PLL with A as the capital A!

So I rewrote my dream ending for Pretty Little Liars.  Its stupidly long.

After Mona went to Radley, Ezra was mad about which direction the book was going in (he was obsessed) so he became A so he could control the story and found it to be more exciting than just writing. It was like he writing everyone's lives, he was the ultimate writer. Every writer wants to think their words will influence people, Ezra got to see it first hand. And he would get to write his own ending.

He used it to track down Ali and hired Charlotte, and made her think that she was actually Uber A and was the master mind when he was really pulling the strings.

He was obsessed with Aria more than the others and wanted to be able to keep her if everyone found out which is why he was slowly trying to isolate her from her friends. If he was the only one who Aria had to turn to, then he would never lose her. The perfect romantic ending, the two against the world. Romeo and Juliet but with a honeymoon.

When she found out about the book Ezra had to take a break from being A or else they would connect the two, so he hired Shana and handed the reigns over to Charlotte for awhile and orchestrated himself getting shot (tho it wasn’t aimed well) to get back in Aria’s good graces.

During the time he gave Charlotte, her working from France at first with Shana, Jenna and others doing her bidding, Charlotte became more obsessed with the power and Ezra lost control of the game. Charlotte went off the rails, and took it too far. She was writing chapters that Ezra wasn't able to edit.

He couldn't just rip out the pages of the dollhouse, the family connection or Charlotte turning herself in. She wrote an ending to the book that didn't satisfy Ezra. Even though he was now in clear of all charges, and he could technically move on, his book, his life's work was now no better than a paper back in the bargain bin at a pharmacy.

Ezra spends the next 5 years trying to recreate the magic he had with that book. Everything he writes is meaningless compared to the story that slipped out of his hands. Every bottle he drinks he prays has the answer at the bottom. But then his prayers are answered when he hears Charlotte is being released.

He realizes now it’s time to get back in the game but first he has a loose end to tie up. A perfect way to bring the game back and get rid of the person who ruined it. He called Charlotte, under the pretense of talking about bring A back. He knew the hospital would never be able to really cure her, and she took the bait. They met at the Church where only meant to push her out of the window. But once she got to bragging about being a better A than him he lost control and strangled her before tossing her out.

Now the game was his again. Which mean he would have to call on another old helper.

He had to call on the person who else who was just as invested in the girls lives and had access he didn’t (to Radley specifically). Someone who knew everything but like him had never been implicated, which is where Wren came in. Ezra knew about Wren and him flirting and kissing Spencer. So when Ezra sat down to an unsuspecting Wren they got to talking. After buying a few rounds Ezra slipped in that these Rosewood high school girls are such teases. Wren took the bait, going on about Spencer and how she was always playing him hot and cold.

Wren joined team A and gave Ezra access to whatever Radley files he needed and helped Charlotte be able to get in an out without questions. Wren also gave Ezra access to his cabin to be used for backup A head quarters just incase Ravenswood got found.

Ezra had the perfect partner in his British friend. Wren also had his own help, Melissa, who didn’t know quite what she was involved with but she knew it would protect Spencer and Ezra having found out about her burying Bethany when Melissa accidentally confessed it to Wren used it to blackmail her into becoming the Black Widow. As far as Melissa knew, Wren was also being blackmailed because he wanted to protect her and she had no idea Ezra was behind it

Jump forward to when Ezra finally got back with Aria and everyone was happy, he knew it was time to finish the game, the last chapter. Which is why he proposed to Aria and tried to rush her into getting married.

But he had to be sure he could truly trust her, over all of her friends. That if everything came out that she would side with him, even if it meant silencing her friends. He gave her the file, and tried to get her over to team A. Watching her choose him made him fall in love with her all over again. She didn't need her friends, and now he knew if something happened to them then she wouldn't fall apart. Because she had him. And he would always have her.

During the game Mona started to feel her A addiction again. She needed to focus and win this time. Her medication was just getting in the way. She went off it and started to recall things from Radley, visitors who came to see her, who came to see Charlotte, and who came to take the game away.

She doesn’t have all the pieces together when she accuses Ezra in front of everyone of being AD, and no one believes her but finding out she is off her medication they decide to get her help and don’t think twice about her accusations. She screamed they were in danger but none of them, especially Aria would listen.

Jump forward a year and Wren goes back to hospital to take care of Mona. But Wren doesn’t have the strongest will and Mona convinces him that they need her. She started the game, they needed her to end it.

Ezra and Aria are about to get married and be all happy so Ezra surprises her with a new house, the one Toby built. He told her it was poetic, that they live and love in a house their friend's love built. It was a house meant for love. Aria is so excited but what she doesn’t realize is the under ground bunker he built, where all his AD stuff is and also would be a comfy place if say your wife finds what you have been up to and you have to keep her somewhere.

Spencer goes to the brew and finds Wren there arguing with Ezra in hushed tones (about not killing Mona, leaving such a giant loose end) she had no idea they knew each other. She confronts them and they make a stupid lie about Ezra spilling coffee on Wren.

She asks Wren what he is doing in town and he just says business and tell her he has to leave but they should catch up soon. Wren, being the flip flopper that he is, still didn't know which Hastings lady he would take down to the bunker, should the time come. But seeing as Spencer was standing in front him, gorgeous as ever, he was leaning her way. Part of the deal Wren made with Ezra when he explained about the bunker was that Wren got to also bring a “friend” down. Ezra starts to get panicky, he knew Mona was out and about. He knew that she wanted the game back but he couldn't let her ruin his ending. Aria dismisses it as pre wedding jitters.  

A day before the wedding Aria goes to the new house to take some pictures as reference for when she is furniture shopping and to sending little photos to her friends. Ezra suggested they not bring visitors by until after the wedding and they get some furniture. She goes out back to the tool shed, notices the ground is uneven and finds a secret door in the ground. She goes under and finds everything, but what she doesn’t know is Wren is already down there and he hits her over the head, then calls Ezra and tells him they have a problem.

Ezra planned to tell Aria everything about the book on their honeymoon and if she reacted badly was going to claim and accident happened where she goes missing but keep her in the bunker (he had practice making someone go missing) but now Aria was in the bunker and he couldn’t just let her out. He goes to the bunker where Aria is terrified and won’t go near him, he thinks she just needs time to cool down. He tells her that she will understand everything soon, and they will be happy. That if he trusts her as a writer then to trust the love story he has written for them.

He takes her phone and sends a text to everyone saying “we can’t deal with the wedding stress and our parents constantly arguing over useless things like table cloths, we decided to leave for our honeymoon and elope. I’m sorry and we love you all.”

He figures that will keep everyone busy for awhile while he tries to convince Aria to get on board, reminding her how she betrayed her friends for him and how their love story would go down in literary history. She already chose him over her friends more than once, what would make this any different.

In the mean time, the girls are hurt Aria left to get married without them but they understand, except for Spencer who feels like things don’t add up because she had spoken to Aria just a couple hours before and she was excited for the wedding. Spencer looked back through her texts with Aria and looked at one of the house pictures to realize she knew the house. Toby had built that house. She decided to go over to make sure that everything was alright.

The girls all disperse, Emily and Ali talking about how they need to get home to the girls and Hanna to see if she can refashion the bridesmaids dresses into something she can show to a client, though after they leave Spencer realizes Emily’s Fitbit fell off and sends her a text that she will hold onto it til they see each other again and put it in her pocket. Spencer gets to the house to see all the lights out. She goes up to the porch to peak in, but figures they must have left for their honeymoon. She turns to go only to come back to face with Wren, but before she can question him she feels something slam into the back of her head and everything goes black.

Spencer wakes up in a cell across from Aria, her phone missing and Ezra & Wren are just standing there, both looking concerned. Ezra apologizes for hitting her so hard. They explain they didn’t want things to work out like this, and once they calm down it is very comfortable and nice in the make shift home they built down in the bunker and when things were settled they could all move away to a much bigger place so the girls would have more room. Ezra knows that they will still have questions so he leaves them both with his manuscript, detailing all the events, with a little creative editing and with the ending that has yet to unfold.

They jump to the end and read that Ezra plans to be the hero, and pin the entire thing on Spencer, who became AD as a way to keep the girls together after realizing how much she missed them when they came back for Charlotte’s trial and used Charlotte’s death, who she killed, to keep them in Rosewood

He planned to make it seem like Spencer followed them on their honeymoon, making use of Melissa by having her getting on a plane as Spencer so they had her on the flight manifest, and tried to kill Ezra for taking Aria away while confessing she was AD and Ezra, in self defense, pushes her off the side of a cliff. Aria freaks out how the man she loved could even think about her best friend while Spencer keeps flipping through looking for clues.

Meanwhile, the others grow concerned they haven’t heard from Aria, who should’ve landed and always texts after a flight or Spencer, who wasn’t at home when they checked and wasn't answering her phone.

Mona shows up and tells them AD is back and is ready to end the game, for good and she knows at least one person helping is Wren but she doesn’t know who AD is yet. She knows if she says Ezra again they will try to throw her back in the hospital. They assume at the very least Spencer was probably kidnapped and after Caleb can’t pin point her cell phone Emily remembers Spencer has the Fitbit and maybe they can track her with that (might have to bend reality) and Caleb is able to find a location, the house Toby built. They make their way there.

Spencer and Aria try to break out, Aria manages to toss a bobby pin to Spencer. Ezra comes back asks how far they are in the book and what they think of it so far, he actually sounds genuine for their feedback. Realizing this is the only chance they might have, Aria tried to distract him by asking him questions like what will happen to Melissa after. Ezra thinks for a moment and then goes into that why they were perfect for each other, because even after everything she wants to help him with her writing. He then admits that Melissa would end up being the one he actually pushes over the cliff. While Ezra is still facing Aria, Spencer gets the lock open and  uses her copy to knock him over the head though she knows he won’t be down for long so she opens Aria’s cage and they run not realizing they have no where to go.

Above ground, the others get to the house and start to look around when Toby sees the shed and mentions he didn’t build a shed. When they open the shed they see Wren inside who is starting to open the trap door who tries to make a run for it but Hanna manages to trip him and he hits his head on a rock. The guys work on tying him up while the girls look for Spencer, thinking Wren is AD and the bunker would be safe now and they come across Ezra who looks dazed and convinces them that AD kidnapped Aria and himself and that the girls have to get out of the bunker before AD comes back.

He starts to lead them out when they run into Spencer and Aria who yell that he is AD, Ezra acts quickly and grabs Ali as a hostage while pulling out a knife. He tells Ali that this whole mess started with her anyways, it should end with her.

Behind him is the sound of a gun cocking, aimed right at his head, Mona says “Actually this started with me, and I am going to be the one to finish it.”

Ezra and Wren are taken into custody, where the both face charges of extortion, stalking, kidnapping, murder, building a creepy bunker without a permit and statutory rape

The girls all agree it’s time to finally leave Rosewood, for good

I don’t get paid for it nor have years to plan it out but thats another story and please write your opinions at the very least in the tags !! Also if you add your opinion in the discussion comment thing or in your tag, a calorie free cookie is in your future !

[lovelylogans]

what are your favorite episodes of gilmore girls?

ooOOOOOOH GREAT QUESTION i’ll break it down season by season:

season one

pilot. i mean, obviously. it sets them all up so well, character-wise; plus, you can tell some episodes in season one that were filmed shortly after the pilot vs a while later, just bc of emily’s differing hair lengths

the lorelai’s first day at chilton: introduces such great characters (paris, madeline, louise) and also is such a great way to continue the transition into learning about this world

rory’s birthday parties: god. just. the stark difference between emily and richard’s world vs stars hollow...... the found family of practically all of stars hollow showing up to rory’s home party...... “lorelai’s right. i don’t know my daughter at all.”...... God

forgiveness and stuff: like, gOD. a masterclass of acting especially from kelly bishop and lauren graham; it hits so differently after edward hermann’s actual passing. luke and lorelai’s relationship displayed on what he’d do for her. lord!

paris is burning: paris................ the Beginning of turning from enemies to friends...... plus, like, you get to see some of lorelai’s commitment issues, which plays out throughout the entire series (sometimes To My Great Aggravation)

concert interruptus: the bangles 🥺paris and rory 🥺

christopher returns: i mean. you see the dynamic between rory and christopher, lorelai and christopher, and emily, richard, and christopher, which just paints such a clearer picture of what lorelai’s life might have been like back then. PLUS, emily being soft toward rory; it’s one of my fave relationship moments for them, and i kind of regret taking that line from her and giving it to christopher in wyliwf.

star crossed lovers and other strangers: the same way we get to see emily and rory, we get to see richard and lorelai; also, you can see how lorelai’s commitment issues might have inadvertently affected rory in this. plus i love love LOVE the backstory of the stars hollow lovers festival, i wish they’d repeated it in later seasons!

emily in wonderland: i really wish you’d gotten to see the effect of learning about lorelai and rory living in the shed play out more than a one-episode arc, i really wish we did, but like. emily bishop, once again, acting her damn heart out. phenomenal.

season two

the road trip to harvard: you get to see the beginnings of how rory leaving for college might affect lorelai, plus you get to see rory in her ivy league habitat. luke getting so suddenly, “inexplicably” cheerful when he hears that lorelai’s not marrying max. and at the very ending emily being sympathetic to max. bless it.

nick & nora/sid & nancy: first jess ep. “dodger.” what else is there to say. points off lorelai tho for immediately losing it at jess when he snarks at her, when, like, that is your move, lorelai, you should recognize that?

presenting lorelai gilmore: rory stepping more and more into her grandparents’ world in a way lorelai never wanted to; though i don’t ship christopher and lorelai, their dance scene is adorable. plus, emily and richard fighting a bit and the beginnings of richards (seasons long!) arc about his journey with his work.

the ins and oust of inns: MIA. you get to see mia for the first time! lorelai and sookie having a fight is :( but you get to see lorelai’s turmoil over actually leaving the inn. emily coming to see mia! luke yelling at the town over them being rude about luke! lorelai coming to his defense! rory telling jess off and jess wordlessly fixing luke’s toaster in silent apology!

the bracebridge dinner: GOD. love it. the horses and carriages! the absurd historical acting! emily and richard! rory and jess! luke and lorelai! it’s fantastic!

a-tisket, a-tasket: I LOVE THIS EPISODE. some of the town absurdity that was just A Plus. “it’s not like she’s shipping off to ‘nam!” is a great line. jackson proposing to sookie! and poor lane........

there’s the rub: emily and lorelai, seeing how great they could get along, but seeing how either of them wreck it just when it’s getting a-okay. god. it’s just such a great microcosm of their relationship.

dead uncles and vegetables: luke......... Luke. lorelai and rory and jess all rallying around him in their ways, and stars hollow by extension. even tho they were pretty shitty at first, they, like. managed to make it up to him in the end.

lorelai’s graduation day: GOD LAUREN GRAHAM, KELLY BISHOP, AND EDWARD HERMANN KILL IN THE GRADUATION SCENE!!!!! i ADORE that shot of the three of them, gets me every single time!!! the only thing i dislike about it is rory accidentally missing the graduation bc....... :/. like. i really like jess. but. come on.

i can’t get started: sookie’s wedding!!! her freaking out over the cake so much in her dress is So Her, she looked so pretty omg! plus, if the spa ep is a good microcosm of emily and lorelai, this is a great microcosm for christopher and lorelai. plus!!!! RORY AND JESS FIRST KISS!!!!!!

season three (look, full disclosure, seasons 3/4 are like. my faves. so)

haunted leg: gosh. lauren graham kills it in that last couple scenes. plus! kirk asking lorelai out on a date is hilarious! emily and lorelai’s lunch at luke’s going So Bad! and i know that not a ton of people like the francie chilton student politics intrigue subplot isn’t great for some people, but i do think that the potential was Great and there are definitely some really good scenes that arose from that subplot, so

take the deviled eggs... like. just. a great blend of town insanity (patty’s new boy, the town loner pitching a protest no one knows the reason behind) and lorelai and rory bonding (by deviled-egging jess’ CAR) and just!!! yes!!!!

they shoot gilmores, don’t they?: i mean. come ON. what list would be complete without this? literally every single favorites list has this episode on there. the dance marathon is the perfect example of town insanity! lane and dave getting their bonding! that little luke and lorelai moment about having kids! that scene of rory crying into lorelai’s shoulder!

a deep-fried korean thanksgiving: i love the whole “three thanksgivings” thing. Can Relate, Do Understand. i think that lorelai freaking out at rory for applying to yale is definitely a contrived subplot (i mean. she was never going to apply to only harvard. ma’am.) but i do like seeing sookie, and luke and jess, and just.... Yeah

dear emily and richard: our ONLY flashback ep! while i do think that only lauren graham can really pull lorelai off, the actress is, like, fairly decent (young christopher, however, does not really fit) and you just! yeah! you get to see them back in their youth and FINALLY get the context of how lorelai ran away!

the big one: like! yay paris! lorelai’s reaction (”i’ve got the good kid!”) is Gross, Frankly! it’s gross and bad! but also poor paris 🥺but!!! rory helping to comfort her afterwards!! richard falling asleep in the middle and having No idea of what just went down is also inexplicably hilarious to me!

those are strings, pinocchio: i mean. it’s the graduation episode. God. i just???? god. it’s such a great episode, there’s so many great moments, i just. 🥺

season four

the lorelais’ first day at yale: a great little titling parallel to chilton, but also, rory panicking when lorelai leaves is like. such a Thing ya know??? i just. yeah. i really like that ep it’s a nice introduction

the festival of living art: one, this show won its only emmy bc of the makeup, so that alone is great. uh, kirk being so adversary to the guy who plays judas is god tier humor! plus! sookie and jackson having their baby!

ted koppel’s big night out: THE FOOTBALL GAME EPISODE! i actually kind of love it, but more the first half than the latter; it’s such an emily and richard way to prepare for a football game, you know? and then meeting pennilyn lott! igniting the arc of emily and richard having doubts about their marriage which has Acting! Moments! but this also has jason and lorelai’s first date, which i Dislike, bc i Dislike Jason Very Much.

nag hammadi is where they found the gnostic gospels: seeing jess come back into town and you get to see how unfinished things are between him and rory..... the luke angst..... Yes.

the incredible sinking lorelais: a very realistic part of college, imo, in which you feel overwhelmed and anxious and EVERYTHING SUCKS NOW CAN I JUST CALL MY MOM, though i wish they’d set it up a bit more and followed it longer than an episode, and also that rory hadn’t gone to dean; but also, trix, and richard standing up to her, which!

scene in a mall: idk i just love this episode? seeing emily in her shopping element; seeing her break down in that way; seeing how shopping is like, one of her Only ways to execute power, and how she’s kind of jealous of lorelai’s career bc she was born into a generation where the only thing it was really acceptable for her to do was cultivate a husband and a nice house; plus!!! that last bit of emily and richard and the apples at the table just BREAKS your heart!!!

girls in bikinis, boys doin’ the twist: SPRING BREAAAAK which is so unexpected for paris and rory and therefore very funny. you get to see madeline and louise again—i actually really love their characters, lmao! paris and rory kiss! just! yeah!

tick, tick, tick, boom!/afterboom: another “idk i just enjoy it” episode. richard and floyd coming to a head; kirk’s easter egg hunt; seeing little davey. however i have some Words for rory because lindsay deserves better??? i understand that she could get a part time job but also MIND YOUR BUSINESS?????? dean’s the one taking classes! that’s an unnecessary expense! he has two jobs!! he’s allowed to take a pause!!! also i can’t believe i’m forced to defend dean right now!!! fuck asher, tho, but yay! breaking up with jason!!! yay breaking up with jason!!!!!!

luke can see her face/last week fights, this week tights: i can’t, okay??? i literally had to. the beginning of jess’ (admittedly mostly off-screen) development arc! luke and the self-help books! the absurdity of the renaissance wedding! the WEDDING DANCE!!! 

raincoats and recipes: truly an episode has never gone from such a “FUCK YESSSSSS FINALLY” scene to a “FUCK NOOOOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG” but honestly it’s just. it’s Such a fantastic episode like i can’t

season five

written in the stars: their first date 🥺the horoscope 🥺”i am in, lorelai. i am all in.” 🥺 HER GOING DOWNSTAIRS IN JUST HIS SHIRT 🥺 HIM YELLING AT THE TOWN ABOUT HOW IT’S THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS 🥺🥺🥺

we got us a pippi virgin: literally the concept alone of “nearly coming to blows via bop it” is great. also luke being like “rory is like pippi!” and showing off what a high regard he holds her in 🥺

emily says hello: LITERALLY so many great little things about this episode. emily deciding she wants to try dating! rory and christopher snapping at each other! KELLY BISHOP’S ACTING AFTER THE DATE WHEN SHE CLOSES THE DOOR ON HIM AND BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!!!!!

women of questionable morals: the dog. 

wedding bell blues: HUNDREDTH EPISODE couldn’t NOT make it on here, so here it is!!! luke and lorelai looking at each other when she’s next to the aisle! luke and christopher both yelling and logan—AcTING! also emily being so manipulative even on her second wedding day, it’s just So classically her, and kelly bishop and lauren graham in the final scene is just. Mwah!

so... good talk: rory literally stepping into lorelai’s shoes for a dinner and being the one to snap at emily and richard is Such a role reversal for her but honestly whenever it does happen i actually really enjoy seeing the dichotomy between the grandparents seeing rory as their perfect little second chance and lorelai seeing her as her mini-me and how rory walks the line between each. AND THAT ENDING KISS SCENE BETWEEN LUKE AND LORELAI????? I CAN’T?????

pulp friction: LORELAI CONTINUING TO ICE OUT EMILY AND RICHARD!!!!! the yelling scene at the diner!!!! plus seeing the chilton skirt come out again was nice imo i too have reused private schoolwear

season six (the season, admittedly, i have watched the least)

we’ve got magic to do: the outfits of the dar bash. paris’ sudden dedication to the proletariat. emily’s rant to shira. that is all

twenty-one is the loneliest number: them finally starting to talk; “this is luke, my soon-to-be-stepfather”; the pastor scene is also just. hilarious. but also so very richard and emily

let me hear your balalaikas ringing out: lorelai’s emotions toward paul anka being sick Oof and luke and the soccer team lmao but also JESS RETUUUUURNS!!!!! RORY SNAPS OUT OF IT!!!!!! FINALYYYYYYY!!!!

friday night’s alright for fighting: literally the montage of all of them intercut with fighting and them sitting in silence while the other two yell in the background to them laughing is just. Peak gilmore

this turned out..... even longer than expected lmao

[katslitg]

how the open heart lis would react to you being pregnant. (obvs jackie’s pregnant in her scenario.)

Jackie Varma:

god she’d be pissed!!!!!!

“what do you mean positive??? check the other ten tests!!!!”

“jack, all of them say posi-“ “shut up!!!”

she’d be mad, mostly at herself for not being careful enough

pregnancy on top of money problems is rough

good thing you two already live together

wouldnt acknowledge it until she started showing

“dr varma, ure pregnant???” “yeah, just ignore it.”

shed ignore you at the beginning, not knowing what to do

“jackie, c’mon, you cant keep ignoring me! it takes to two to tango!” “i can and i will,”

when you finally force her to come shopping for baby clothes, supplies, furniture etc, she loves it

“omg look how adorable! can you believe our baby’s feet are this small!”

she’d become insecure further into the pregnancy

“what if im not going to be a good mom, hm?”

“don’t say that, jack, you’ll be a great mom,”

you two would move into the your room, since it had a better view and change her room into a nursery

the boys would help you put everything together.

“bryce, that’s not where its supposed to be- ykw forget it.”

“jesus, dr ramsey do you even know how to-“ bryce would shut up just seeing ethan give him a glare

“see i knew raf would come around to save the day” she’d flirt with him, making him blush

cutest mood swings ever!!!

“all im saying is he’s a fucking jerk and i- ohhh sienna are those donuts?”

jackie would get stressed at the weirdest moments, and you kiss her and cuddle with her to calm her down

“mc, you know i hate kids, why did this have to happen to us!!!!”

she’d slowly come to terms with the fact that she was going to become a parent

god giving birth would scare this woman, and trust me not a lot of things scare her

“mc, what if-“ “jack, breath, everything will be fine!”

when you two found out you’d have a daughter she smiled

“at least i wont have to deal with a little mc” she’d joke

when she got in labour she’d curse at everyone!!!

“AND YOU! YOU MC ARE THE WORST ONE HERE! GETTING ME PREGNANT AND THAN MAKING ME DO THE HARD PART I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!”

“uhhh....”

after a couple of years, the three of you would move into a bigger apartment, still close to the hospital

god, your daughter absolutely lovessssssssss aunt sienna and uncle elijah!!!! these two dorks would hang around with her all the time

“dad, can i stay at aunt sienna’s after school?”

“she’s working today sweetheart but mommy will be there to pick you up”

you two would have some sweet, annoying nicknames for her

love, sweetheart, sugar, honey etc

Bryce Lahela:

he’d be excited and scared

he would freeze when he found the positive pregnancy test in his trashcan

“i wanted to tell you but seems like you already found out,”

he’d shut you out and be less loud at work

“bryce, please talk to me” “uhh, cant have a long shift today”

but one day you’d show up to his apartment, keiki opened the door

“oh hey keiki, is bryce home?” “yeah come in”

youd try to get him to talk but man he was not feeling it

“i just need some space mc,”

wouldnt even take a week for him to come over and apologize to you

“im just not sure if i’d make a good dad, i mean i had two bad examples growing up, what if i-“

youd cut him off with a kiss

“no need to stress, bryce, im certain you will make a great dad!”

you two would have to look for a bigger place, and also someone to fill your spot at the apartment

sienna, elijah and jackie would help you decorate the nursery

“jackie those colours do not match with the blankets i bought” sienna would say while jackie just rolled her eyes

“well maybe you shouldn’ve bought so! many! blankets!” jackie said while holding up multiple blankets

“guys please its mc and bryce’s child we can’t fight over this” elijah was the only one who would think rationally

when you found out you were having a son bryce almost jumped into the air

“a little bryce,,,,” he’d say with heart eyes, making you roll your eyes

when you went into labour, he’d be the one freaking out

“can’t believe im saying this when im the one in labour, but good god bryce calm down!”

uncle raf!!!!! aunt kyra!!!!!

rafael and kyra would absolutely adore your son!!!! theyd fight over whose turn it was to babysit

“kyra, you had him last weekend!” “but mc said he always talks about how fun aunt kyra is!”

“why dont you two take him to the park together? he loves both aunt kyra and uncle rafael equally” bryce would say, making the two adults reluctantly agree

“finally a moment alone with the woman of my dreams” he said the second they left, making you chuckle

keiki would hang out with your son. occasionally.

“aunt keiki can you read me a bedtime story?” “right. im aunt keiki.”

she’d love it secretly

Rafael Averio: (pretending sora doesnt exist here lol)

this man would beam with joy!!!

he had always dreamt of having a big family of his own

“youre pregnant?” “yeah.... i-“ he’d kiss you before you could even say anything else

would brag to everyone about it

“do you guys know im goin-“ “going to be a dad? yes raf you told us like a million times” his paramedic friends would say

it was even funnier when you saw how some people avoided him because of it

would not leave ur side

“jesus ever heard of personal space?” “oops sorry”

he’d be at ur apartment all the time

“raf, not that we don’t enjoy you being here but don’t you idk have other friends?” jackie would try to get him out of the house

sienna’d be fine with it since he would help her cook n bake stuff

“i didnt know you cooked!” “not really just some stuff i picked up from my grandma”

he’d sleep over at your apartment

when you got insecure he’d talk to you and make u forgot about it in a certain way ;)

“what if im not a good mom? or what if your fanily doesn’t approve of me?? oh good god this is not going how i imagined-“ “relax, you know my family loves you, now get over here”

you’d move in with him, and get someone to fill ur spot in the apartment

the two of you going to the senior center together!!!

“now edith you better not get to comfortable” you’d joke, earning a laugh from rafael

kyra and bryce would come over and help with the nursery, of course it was after the boys’ gym day so bryce dragged ethan with them

“hey gu- oh hey dr ramsey!” you’d say with a bright smile when you opened the front door.

“kyra not that i dont love you but what even is this?” “yeah i tried to make a blanket but as you can see it backfired”

“uhm ethan you sure that this is the color we picked out?” bryce would panic, knowing damn well they didnt do the one you asked them to do right

“well good thing aunt kyra did got the good color” she’d go get it from the car while the two men started at her in confussion

when you found out you were having a girl he got super excited

“a little mc running around the house” he’d say, already coming up with names

when you’d go into labour he’d put up a calm gentle persona while in reality he wanted to screammmmm

uncle bryce n aunt jackie!!!

u cant tell me bryce n raf havent become close friends

“hey dad can uncle bryce and aunt jackie stay for dinner?” “sweetie youre ignoring the rest of our guests”

even tho they would admit it bryce and jackie loved babysitting her

“do you want to come with uncle bryce?” “bryce thats enough its MY day!”

his family would come around often, bringing gifts every single time

his grandma would try to get him to propose, earning glares from him

when your daughter heard juliana say something along the lines of “when is the wedding” she’d get super excited!!!

“are you two really getting married??!!”

Ethan Ramsey:

you two would already be in an awkward position bc of the gwyneth thing

what was worse was that he admitted to not wanting to get married and have children

god, that little fight on the way to leland and at house took a toll on you, so when june came to check on you back in the hospital you told her

“so, youre pregnant?” “yeah” you’d sob

she wouldnt force you to tell her who the dad is, but it was obvious

before the fight you’d always come to the diagnostics team’s meetings with a smile on your face but now it was a neutral face or sometimes even a frown

soooo ethan found out. not directly from you, but from june, resulting in another fight

“you told june but not me?” “you dont even want kids i cant just casually bring it up!”

the awkwardness would be there for a while, im talking 2-3 months

“enough already! you two talk this out! not only is this bad enough for the two of you but also for me and baz! think about us! and our patients!” june’d snap one day

you’d talk it out, still awkward around each other

“jesus, ethan we can’t keep doing this, i have an appointment to check on the little one, you want to join?” you would try to keep the awkwardness at a certain level, he’d nod with a smile on his face

so when he found out he was having a son, he’d be happy, still very scared but very happy

“im sorry, mc. i acted as a jerk and didnt listen to your needs. i want to be in your and our baby’s lives.”

he’d ask you to move in with him, which you reluctantly agreed to, i mean there wasnt even enough space for a nursery in your apartment

sienna would invite herself and elijah over to help you with the nursery , since they knew about you two since that time after the hearing

“thank you, trinh,” ethan would say as he accepted the cookies she had baked

“i helped too. just so you know” elijah chimed in, earning a chuckle from you

god labour was the worst, you had to do an emergency c section since it was a bit too early for the baby to be born

so when they send your son off to the nicu, ethan would be there the whole time, very worried

“dr ramsey, you should go we’ll take care of him” the nurses would try to get him out of there with no luck, “no its fine i just want to stay here”

when you two could finally go home he would make sure to never youre side

“mc do you need anything? want me to bring you something to drink? maybe an extra blanke-“ “ethan shut uppppppppppppppppp its 3 am”

of course your friends would come over but not as often since they had to take care of their interns and stuff

uncle baz and aunt june!!!!!

“AUNT JUNE!!!!” he’d yell when you, june and baz picked him up from the daycare at the hospital

“wow so youre just ignoring uncle baz?” baz would act hurt, making the boy laugh

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Saturday 2 May 1835: SH:7/ML/E/18/0028

8 25

11 5

No kiss. ready in 50 minutes Rainy morning F47° at 9 ¼ am - wrote the last 16 lines of yesterday till 9 35 at which hour breakfast - Had Washington till 11 - he took possession yesterday of Northgate house it being agreed that Mrs Scatcherd was to pay for outside painting etc and told him there was ½ year’s rent due  - to see the lease  inquire about this rent at Mr Parker’s office - he (W-) thinks £30 as much as Mr Bateman’s fillies are worth - he measured 1 of them and it stands 13 hands and 1 inch high -rather too little - knows of a very nice pony at Huddersfield - to inquire about it on Monday in passing thro’ the town of Saddleworth - thinks the town will not support an Inn at the higher rent than £200 a year - told him I understand Carr pays £400 a year - yes! said W- but has a room 20 yards long - answer and there will be 22 yards+ at Northgate - afraid of my asking the place too expensive - but seemed better satisfied before he went way - he had no time or would have shown him the plans - he had Pearson did not give possession of Mytholm yesterday but said he wanted paying for the shed - W- said he might take it away - P- answered that Mrs Dewhirst might give him W-  possession - then had Mrs Hopkin some time about the Sunday school - the person thought of will not do - her health not good enough - Hopkin has a vote for the county - his wife will ask him for it and thinks he will give it me for the blues - then with my father and Marian shewing plans of Northgate hotel - Marian thinks the speculation will answer it time - my father said not a word, and hardly looked at the plans, fancying perhaps that I shall ruin myself - then with my aunt shewing her the plans that she might see them by daylight - she much pleased and sanguine - went up to A- at 1 - note well - a little indigestion and pain in her neck - lying on the sofa - rubbed her neck (about 20 minutes at twice before and after her luncheon) with spirit of wine and camphor and then wrote the last 18 lines till 2 10 - damp wet day till about 1 or after then tolerably fair - merely damp - had had Mawson for 10 minutes before 9 to say the gin horse he had mentioned was sold - but might get me another for £10 -  to let me know by Tuesday morning per post - thought £30 enough for Mr Bateman’s fillies - wrote and sent about 2 ½ by A- (George to take it from Cliff Hill and returned for A-) note  as follows to ‘Thomas Hudson Bateman Esquire Hipperholme’  ‘Shibden Hal Saturday 2 May 1835. Dear Sir, I thank you very much for your note and am only sorry that what I intended offering you for the fillies (£35) is so much under your price, that I have given up all the hope of being the purchaser - the rest of the family here beg to join in compliments to yourself and Mrs Bateman and believe me dear sir, very truly yours A Lister’ - then went to Mr Jubb who was with my aunt - brought him into my study and shewed him the plans of Northgate house - explained - asked him not to name the subject directly but as he thought he could learn whether I could get it licensed or not begged he would be so good as do it -  mentioned my idea of writing to Mr Dearden - he much approved this and thought Mr D- and his son would do the thing for me - he believed it only required the signatures of 2 magistrates - Mr D- had done the like for him (Mr J-) about 7 years ago very handsomely when Mr Waterhouse flatly refused - begged it not to be named but said I had some doubt of Mr R- .:. of Mr Waterhouse from Mr R-‘s having behaved very unhandsomely to me about the coal - could prove him not a man of his word - but private feeling of this sort should not be mixed up with public matters - I should not let private feeling operate against my best endeavours to serve his (R-‘s) election for the borough - should give me a hundred votes if I had them  - Wrote the intended copy of note to Mr Dearden and letter to Mr Harper as follows  ‘Shibden Hall 2 May 1835. Sir, I am very well satisfied with the plans which I received yesterday and shall be obliged to you to fix the earliest time you can for seeing me here - I should be glad to have a plan and elevation of the shops and wish you to remain here long enough for making definite arrangements I am sir, A Lister.’ wrote the above letter  to ‘Mr. Harper architect York postpaid’ and  note to Mr. Dearden and note to Booth bookseller and out at 4 ¾ -

SH:7/ML/E/18/0029

pruning rose trees near the middle garden door - then an hour with Marian who mended my pelisse as I stood - then  some time talking to Charles H- in the workshop - John Oates has no vote - has sold for £600 the house he built in Godley lane to Tommy Moore who now lives there -A- returned about 6 ¼ - just as sitting down to dinner at 6 ¾ note from Mr. Bateman in answer to mine by George, to say that tho’ he did not doubt getting his price ‘by exhibiting the fillies at some watering places for which the season is advancing (after incurring of course additional expense) yet I think your offer of £35 is to liberal to be risked and if you will take them at that price I shall be very glad that they fall into such good hands’ etc to send for them when I like and pay for them ‘at any future time’ - rigmarole note as before - kept the boy waiting till I had taken soup and meat, and then wrote as follows in answer  - ‘Shibden hall - Saturday 2 May 1835 - Dear Sir - I will take the fillies at £35 for the two, and pay for them on Wednesday morning, if you will be so good as keep them for me till that time I am dear sir, very truly yours A. Lister’ then wrote and sent at 7 3/4 along with my letter to Mr. Harper (vid. bottom of last p.) the following to ‘Mr George Cooper Veterinary surgeon Micklegate York postpaid’  ‘Shibden Hall - Saturday 2 May 1835. Sir, I have just bought 2 fillies (chesnut ponies) unbroken and quite wild - I hope these will suit me, that you need not look out for more - can you take them into your stables, and get them thoroughly well broken? if you can possibly manage to have them broken and ridden at the barracks under the superintendence of the dragoon Riding master, I shall be very glad to pay whatever you think right for this favour - I am anxious to have the animals thoroughly gentle and tractable either for a lady’s riding or for drawing a light carriage - let me hear from you soon as possible - the sooner you have the ponies the better - can you take them if I send them on Tuesday or Wednesday? I want them for riding as soon as they may be trusted - tell me how long you will probably be obliged to keep them and what will be the expense. I am sir, etc A Lister’. - then at 7 ¾ took my pudding and finished dinner - A- having been (while I was writing) on the sofa upstairs, bilious - a few minutes with my father and Marian - had coffee sitting by A- - then till 9 20 wrote the whole of this page so far - tolerably fine (tho’ damp) from between 1 and 2 pm for the rest of the day and evening F49° at 9 20 pm - rainy night and afterwards at 10 3/4

[winkingjisoo]

Say You Won’t Let Go

Hey, are you free tonight?

Am I? I was busy checking on my belongings when I received her text message. It was odd that am receiving this now. I only have several hours left before I leave and now this. Maybe it's now or never?

Jisoo was staring at her phone when another text popped up.

Babe, I am excited to see you. I miss you. Be safe, okay?

She smiled sadly and realized how life took her kindness for granted and she never wanted to hurt anyone else. She's almost done fixing her things when she saw an old photo kept in her small box, it was her and the girl she secretly admired for years. She's as beautiful as she is years ago. I am still lost on your eyes, but those eyes, they never lie. I know you never felt the same and I am finally letting go of my grip. She placed the frame on top of the side table and left it there.

*beep*

Seen. Why are you leaving me on seen? You can say no.

With a deep sigh, Jisoo replied to the message and without a doubt, she grabbed her shoulder bag and keys. I will see you again, and then.. maybe never. She went out of the apartment and made sure it's locked. Everything that's possible came inside her mind, but one impossible thing made her smile a bit. Maybe now she wants me too.

Jisoo took her phone our while she's on the bus and replied on the other text she received.

Hey, I am sorry. I'd be coming home...

I know I am being unfair. You have all the rights to hate me, but if this chance would mess me up, I will never regret anything.

Please still see me so we can talk. I will face you bravely, you know I never wanted to hurt you but I'd like to be selfish tonight. I am really sorry.

It took her minutes before finally deciding to send it. A tear left her eyes as if it's been there trying to escape several times but now it's being free.

I understand, I've always known. I still hoped you come to me instead of her. But I understand, I'll always will. Whatever happens, I will still see you.

Don't apologize, I have forgiven you beforehand. You deserve to be happy, and if it's not with me, I won't take that happiness away from you.

It's all I ever wanted to give you.

I love you, Jisoo. I wish you will be happier now. - Rose

Now I am scared. I am scared more than ever. This will be my last chance, my first chance as well, or maybe the only chance I have. If not for her, I will not be with anybody. Jisoo took her phone away after reading the message. She closed her eyes in some minutes to think and finally she made up her mind. She took her phone out and made a phone call.

*Calling Jennie*

Hello?

Hey, uhm.. I texted you back.

Oh, right. You're coming. I will just uhm, put her to sleep. Then, I'll see you. Will that be fine?

Sure. Of course.

The call ended and Jisoo is nervous as hell. This will be the first time after a long time that she will see Jennie again. Afraid and still confused, she put on her headphones and played some piano covers in her playlist. These are not just covers, Rose played those songs for her.

If only I can teach my heart to love. I will choose Rose. She did nothing else but love me, and now she's hurting.. yet she understood. I--I owe her my happiness if I will be.

The thoughts inside her mind stopped when she felt that the bus stopped as well. She stood up and released a deep sigh before getting off it. It took some minutes and she's just waiting at the bus stop where Jennie will see her. She lifted her hoodie and removed her eyeglasses for a bit. It's starting to get cold and her hands are slightly shaking. She decided to lean over the shed and closed her eyes for a bit. Minutes passed, still there's no sign of Jennie, not even a text.

Of course. I am being taken for granted again.

"Hey! I am sorry, did you wait too long?"

Since high school, yes.

"Jennie.. uhm no. I just got here. Hey, haha. How are you?" That's an awkward question for the situation but Jisoo is still composing herself.

"I'm glad to know. Rachelle took time to fall asleep, I can't just leave her, yeah?" Of course, she's your precious one. Jisoo thought. To her surprise, Jennie held her hand. She never imagined that she would feel those grip again. She badly wants to let go of it, she's having second thoughts on going back to where she initially wanted to be away from -- Jennie's comfort.

They started walking around the area until they reached the old coffee house where they used to write stories. Both of them published some books in their high school days, mostly are written by Jisoo with Jennie beside her, mainly cheering her up and giving some ideas which made Jisoo believe that she's writing a masterpiece. Jennie stopped in front of the coffee house. She stared at the sight of it while Jisoo found herself staring at the fullness of Jennie.

"Do you still write stories?" Jennie noticed Jisoo staring at her and chose to break the silence.

"No. I stopped. But I write songs, lyrics at least. I'm not good at music. She puts the melody and sings it." Although Jennie is understanding where that sentiment came from, she continued.

"You're a natural writer. May it be a song, a poem or a story. Totally something that someone can relate to. You know.."

Jisoo can't look at Jennie's eyes. She just realized what she just said and was taken aback right after. Jennie let go of Jisoo's hand. She can feel the awkwardness and tension in between but it seemed like she don't want to care or even think about it. Jisoo was about to head inside the coffee house when Jennie stopped her.

"Let's go to my place instead, I learned how to brew coffee and I want you to try it first. I hope it won't fail tho." Jisoo was confused and was not able to say a thing when Jennie dragged her and walked as fast as she can.

What is she thinking? If she just wanted to see me, she should've not left the house and just have me go in there. Jendeukie, stop being careless...

*beep*

You're probably away from home as you see this. Please take care. Meet me tomorrow. Namusairo Coffee Shop, 9 am.

Jisoo just replied a smiley to the text message she received as they entered Jennie's humble abode. Jennie excitedly opened the door and let Jisoo in first. She was like a kid being excited on a thing that she wanted a long time ago, like it's finally coming.

"We should've just stayed at the old coffee house you know. Or asked me to just go here, why do you need to pick me up from the bus station if you plan on drinking coffee in here. You're weird, Jennie."

"Jendeuk." Jennie smiled shyly and have gone straight to the fridge to get some beers.

"Wait, beer? I don't drink beer." Jennie creased her eyebrows and for Jisoo it felt like World War is coming. But Jennie was suddenly relaxed and just put the beers back in the fridge. She took the Soju instead.

They decided to drink at the terrace where they have a good sight of the moonlight above them. Them, under the moon, would always be a familiar sight for both of them. Jisoo, she didn't really know what she came for. She can't help but wonder why of all the days that Jennie would remember texting her after a long time, it would be tonight. She should be moving in with the girl who never left her side.

"What's this, Jennie? Why did you text me? Why do you want me to come over? Why now?" Jisoo

"Whoa whoa! That's a lot of questions, I can answer them but can we take it slow, we haven't even started yet." Jennie started drinking her shot. "I missed you."

And just like that, Jisoo felt like her body froze. She can't find the right words to say so she took her shot as fast as she can.

"Are you happy now, Jisoo? I don't really want to get back to your life, I know you hated me. I know y--"

"I never hated you... I loved you."

Jennie was just staring at Jisoo who's staring at the moon at the moment. She can't believe she's about to hear it again tonight. It's been years since the last time she heard of it.

"I did, too." Now it's Jisoo'd turn to look blankly at Jennie's eyes. She thought she'd be lying about it so she looked straight at her eyes. But she saw the unexpected, she saw the truth.

"You've got to be kidding me, Jennie Kim. You're unbelievable." She tried to shake it off, with all the fear that she had, Jennie was telling her that she loved her, too. It sounded surreal but she just can't believe it. Why suffer all those years, why let go of everything they could have had?

"I needed to say it. Not long before everything could go south for us. I just though maybe, I can still make it up to you."

"You knew, right? That I'll be leaving tonight? Who told you?"

"If not now, Jisoo. When? When do you want me to tell you? When I would regret it for the rest of my life? I need you, I need to be with you. I still.. I still feel the same.

"You're asking me when, Jen? Two fucking years ago! I suffered, I thought I would never be enough, I did everything to get rid of myself who's God knows someone who just wants to love you and be with you but I can't."

"Jisoo, stop talking as if it's just you who suffered. I suffered, too. And it still hurts. If I had a choice, I will stay."

Jisoo can't believe everything she's hearing right now. She felt like a fool when she hurriedly came to Jennie to take a chance but it seemed like she don't want it anymore.

"You don't understand, Jen. If I knew you felt the same, I should've waited. I can wait. I waited since long ago."

Jennie let the ambiance calm down before she responded. She took her next shot as she speak.

"I honestly thought you will. You believed that love is patient. Maybe I got that wrong? You wrote it in your book, the one that I read a lot. I love that book, it's like you're talking to me, at least I think that's me."

"Of course, it's you. Who would it be?"

"I don't know. By that time I didn't know Jisoo. I got scared."

I can't believe you felt that way, Jen. I thought you felt safe with me.

Jisoo was just our of words, she can't contain the emotion she's having right now. She felt dizziness when she realized she's been drinking for every waking silence Jennie and her is having right now.

"Jisoo, listen." Jennie held Jisoo's face and felt tears on the woman's cheeks.

"I... I love you. Don't.. don't leave me now. I am more than ready for us."

"What if.. what if I'm not ready, Jen? What will you do?"

The moment Jennie heard that, tears escaped her eyes.

"Then maybe, jegwi should not stick to shumon anymore. Maybe it's time to finally let go. I'm sorry if I had my hopes up.."

Jennie did not let go of Jisoo's face, she leaned closer to her instead.

"So tell me, are you not ready for me?"

Jisoo was still reading Jennie's eyes. She could tell Jennie's telling the truth and her heart can't help it. She badly want to kiss the girl in front of her. She wanted to let go of all the things that holds her back from doing so.

As she was trying to get a grip of the reality, Jennie closed the gap between them. She couldn't believe Jennie is kissing her right now. Jisoo can still taste the alcohol on Jennie's mouth but she willingly kissed her back. Her worries, it's been taken away and she just thought maybe, maybe it's worth a shot.

It was a long night for the both of them. After that, no words was said. They decided to rest as they felt like they had a long night.

Namusairo Coffee Shop, 9 am.

Rosé was waiting at the coffee shop already. She ordered Jisoo's usual and hers. She was also busy listening to music when Jisoo came.

"Hey, you're here early." Jisoo said and hugged the girl from behind.

"No! Hahaha. You're late. I said 9, not 9:15." Rosé's playful tone made it easier for Jisoo to turn her frown into a smile. Probably because she's nervous about this conversation, but she promised to face this girl bravely.

"You ordered my coffee! Yes! Also, I'm sorry for being late in your watch! Huh, still 15 minutes advance!" Jisoo have it light with Rosé, not awkwardness anymore.

"You want to eat something? You look pale."

"Oh no, I'm okay with coffee. I just woke up, that's why."

"Hmm. I see. How's your back?" Rosé sounded sincerely concered about Jisoo. She knows that Jisoo not sleeping in her bed would give a different kind of discomfort. She can't believe she convinced Jisoo to move in with her. At least she did before it never happened.

"It's not hurting lately. I think the medications worked. Thanks, Doctor Park."

"I hate youuuu! You don't have to do me dirty!" Rosé pouted as if she's really offended.

"YAH! It's not my intention to let you feel that way. I was just saying that.. you'll make a great doctor, babe." Jisoo was shocked by the way 'babe' was blurted out automatically when she wanted to address Rosé, she felt like she can't do it. She can't break Rosé's heart.

Rosé just smiled. She would stop in there, she thought.

"How is she?" Rosé have known for years how long Jisoo was head over heels for Jennie. She wonder how she's going and how did last night's incident went.

"She's good. I guess. She needed to be with Rachelle and I think they're adapting to changes already." Jisoo was hesitant to go with the conversation but Rosé is making everything easier for her.

"It went well, right? As it should? I'll kill you if it didn't after you ditched me." Rosé jokingly said.

"It did. She... she wanted me too." Jisoo thought that she was being selfish but that's the lightest way to say it to Rosé.

"Good then. I guess, I can get over it.. although.. I still think letting you be selfish is a bad idea. I could've had you, Jisoo. We were so good together."

"I can say that, too. You took care of me. You love me. And I love you too. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, just not as much as you love her." Rosé was just looking at Jisoo's eyes. She knows she needed to say that or she'll regret saying everything to Jisoo. "Jisoo, this is another bold and foolish move.. but.. if in case Jennie, you know, leave again.. I am here. I'll always be."

"Rosé."

"I know. You won't like the idea. I'm just saying. Just let me.."

Jisoo held Rosé's hand. It's warm. It was the warmth that comforted her.

"It's okay, Jis. I'm okay."

Rosé left on a good note. She even gave Jisoo one last gift. It was a demo CD of Rosé. Face down when Rosé left it on the table, Jisoo was left dumbfounded.

Jisoo checked the CD and saw it's title.

"Just when you felt like giving up on her again, say you won't let go."

[utopianvoices]

dating au | p.seonghwa

⤗ check my masterlist for other members!

how he acts around you

the “i’m rly smooth around you but dies when you’re not around” kind

the biggest flirt

will throw you pick up lines for every. single. situation

you trip over something?

“woah watch out... we don’t want you falling for anything else but me.”

you’re sharpening your pencil?

“life without you is like that pencil... pointless.”

basically anything you do, he’s got a pick up line for that

he does it so excessively that instead of showing you signs that he likes you, you just start to think that he does that with everyone else

and that you are no special

reader you aren’t the brightest crayon

the members definitely know what’s up tho

will threaten it out of him

“we’ll thrash the whole dorm if you don’t speak up right now.”

“the dorm already looks thrashed you’re not making a difference.”

but this isn’t about sassy seonghwa

this is about his crush on you

whenever you’re around, you’ll realise that they tease seonghwa and you every time he says something cheesy to you

you weren’t very good at reading people but you knew when someone was uncomfortable

no you don’t

and seonghwa looked uncomfortable when the members were teasing the both of you

but that’s just because he was scared you’d find out

so you took the liberty to clear the air

“guys stop that. seonghwa and i don’t like each other in that way.”

well ouch....... you just broke this big baby’s heart

how he confesses

after you broke his heart

he’ll be convinced that you had no feelings for him

and will stop with all the cheesy pick up lines

the whole atmosphere shifts 180 between the both of you

it gets really awkward when you both are in the same room that the members have literally gotten up and left because they couldn’t stand it

at first you thought that it was because he was stressed about something

but when it didn’t stop and just grew more and more awkward, you’d confront him about it

asking him if you did anything wrong for him to act so weird around you

and he spills the beans

literally

he was holding a can of beans to prepare for dinner and dropped the whole can when you asked him that question

rip beans

he just stares at the spilled beans and lets out a sigh, contemplating if he should tell you why he was acting so weird around you

you take a step closer to him, giving him the push he needed to say it

“i actually really like you. and after you said you didn’t have feelings for me i just thought that i should keep my distance.” 

let’s just pause right there

and rewind a little bit

he likes you? and your dumbass thought you were helping him by pretending you didn’t have feelings for him so that it wouldn’t get weird

so you tell him just that

“i-i like you too. i just thought the boys teasing us together was making you uncomfortable so i told them that to shut them up.”

he immediately whips his head up and you can see the smile slowly spreading on his face

it’s the cutest you’ve ever seen him tbh

probably just beams at you until someone shouts at him to clean up the beans because it was going to attract roaches and they didn’t want mingi to start screaming

first date

most probably a fancy dinner

at a fancy ass restaurant

my boy here is a whole ass gentleman

with top class manners

holds the door open for you when you enter the restaurant, pulls out your chair for you, helps you with your napkin

just marry him 

during dinner you’ll have such a great time together, talking about the posh people around you

at one point, you let out a loud laugh because of something seonghwa said, attracting rich glares from all the high-class snobs there, causing the both of you to laugh harder

after dinner, the both of you leave the restaurant and go to a nearby local shop for dessert, because he had just emptied his wallet for that meal and wasn’t going to spend another $10 on a tiny lava cake that wouldn’t be enough for even one of you

you both get ice cream and sit out in the open, carefree laughs filling the air as you exchange jokes and stories

once you’re done, he walks you home, shrugging the jacket off his shoulder to wrap it around you because it would be a sin to leave out that classic first date move

walks you all the way to the door and just stands outside with you, none of you wanting to leave each other

which leads me to my next long-awaited point

first kiss

definitely planned it

he even made a small chart of the whole date while he was still back in the dorm

so there you were, standing in front of him looking cute af, waiting for him to say something

and he does

“can i kiss you?”

will not do it if you’re not ready for it

but who wouldn’t be ready

so you shyly take a step forward, indicating your positive reply, and he takes it as his cue to do what he’s been wanting to do the whole night

wraps his arms around you and slowly leans in, giving you the softest and sweetest kiss ever

your hands softly grip the front of his shirt as one of his hands moves up to cup your cheeks, his touch as light as a feather

when you part, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is “wow”, causing you to giggle shyly

and boy oh boy did his heart do a thousand flips at that sound

gives you a small kiss on your forehead before sending you in, not leaving until he’s sure you’re safe inside

it was one of the best days he’s had and 10/10 would do it again

first fight

this was the most difficult to write

because fights can happen anytime and anywhere because of anything

but one of the first few fights you’d have is probably because of seonghwa’s tidiness 

you would have had a terrible day, and all you wanted to do was go home and sleep

but that wasn’t really possible because of seonghwa’s nagging, telling you to clean the place or do the dishes or wtv you were supposed to do

on normal days you’d just whine and get up and do it

but that day wasn’t a normal day

so you snapped, and it wasn’t pretty

you probably end up saying something hurtful 

and he’d definitely be shocked at first, not expecting you to snap

slowly, as he goes over your words, the hurt seeps in and he leaves the room without arguing back because he knows it’s only going to make things worse

you definitely regret what you said right after you say it, but you give yourself some time to collect yourself before you head out of the bedroom to find your boyfriend

you find him sitting on the sofa, staring blankly at the tv

and oh boy do you feel guilty

scared that you’d be overriding his space, you sit down a safe distance away from him, fumbling with your fingers as you think of what to say

finally you just decide to keep it simple and tell him what went wrong and why you were being so mean

all while reinstating the fact that none of it was his fault and that you were to blame completely

maybe you shed a few tears while talking

seeing this, he just sighs and pulls you towards him, wrapping his arms around you while whispering a soft “it’s okay baby”

and maybe you cried more hearing that

because your man had a heart made of gold

you’d probably have to do the chores for the rest of the week as punishment though

favourite things to do together

he’d love love LOVE to build figurines with you

his gundam figurines

to him, it’s the perfect way to bond

his favourite is the petty arguments you both have over which way is the correct way to assemble it

when there’s a whole instruction sheet lying right next to y’all screaming “read me crackheads”

but where’s the fun in following instructions

he’d probably give in to your way, just watching as you happily try to assemble the figurine, frowning once you realise the you were in the wrong the whole time and that seonghwa was right

you’d never admit it though

“actually maybe we should just do it your way, since i’m feeling a bit generous today.”

plays along with you and you both finally finish assembling it

what takes usually an hour, takes at least three hours when it’s you both assembling it together

because y’all are always distracted

petty arguments over who’s right

and many many many stolen kisses

general affection

wouldn’t usually initiate cuddles but will never reject them 

if u wanna cuddle then he was gonna cuddle the fuk out of you

you’d come back and just fall on him if he was laying on the sofa

or if he was in the kitchen, you’d just walk over and slump against his back, wrapping your arms around his waist

if you were already lying down, his arms will be around you, while your head rested on his chest, the both of you talking about your respective days

if you were to back hug him, he’d turn around in your arms and give you a soft forehead kiss that usually says “i’m busy right now but i’ll cuddle you later”

is honestly more of a kisser than hugger

keeps pda to a minimum—nothing more than a hand on your waist in public or in front of the members

but in private, damn

doesn’t know the meaning of the words ‘personal’ and ‘space’

will randomly kiss you

you could be walking past him and he’ll just pull you in and give you a quick kiss and pretend like nothing happened

i feel like he’ll be a very passionate kisser

other than pecks, when he’s really kissing you, definitely puts in as much emotion as he can

ᶜᵃⁿ ᵇᵉ ʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ

definitely the type to combat jealousy by making out

talking about jealousy

gets jealous very easily

not that he doesn’t trust you, but he just doesn’t like the idea of others thinking of you in ways that only he should be thinking 

other than the members, any other guy you talk to gets the stank face from him

unless they’ve earned a pass, which is pretty rare

but if he still ends up being jealous, you better prepare yourself to be attacked with kisses when you’re home

ᵐᶦᵍʰᵗ ˡᵉᵃᵈ ᵗᵒ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ʷᵉ'ˡˡ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵏⁿᵒʷ

[heyyylittlemo]

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

[spooks-can-write]

The Babysitter

Nestor x Reader

Summary: Emily hires you to babysit Cristobal (this is apart from the actual tv series events) and you and Nestor have some...tension. im bad at summaries ok.

Warnings: no smut just tension lmao. Cursing. Some predatory behavior, nothing beyond that.

Word count: idk tbh its longER tho bc i cant be short im s o r r y.

Hope yall enjoy 💞

The door chimed as you walked into the coffee shop, immediatley seeing Emily beam as she saw you made you loose a tension you didnt know you were holding. After leaving your last job abruptly you had been busy trying to get your shit together and through the struggle you were glad to take a break to see your old babysitter and childhood friend Emily.

"Hey (y/n)!" She stood up, you noted motherhood suited her well. She seemed more at peace now.

"Hey Em!" You looked down to see Cristobal sweetly sleeping in his noteably expensive stroller.

"So..." she seemed eager "I was talking with Miguel and we know you're...well...looking for a new job and place to stay so we thought it'd be perfect if you stayed with us as Cristobals full time nanny."

You were caught off gaurd to say the least "Oh, uh that does sounds great but i dont have any experience really."

"Dont worry well figure it out and ill be there in the beginning till you settle in. Trust me."

You thought you didnt have many other places to go either way and being in a stable enviornment would be good for a change. Fuck it.

"When can i start?"

Nannying was going better than you thought. It helped that Cristobal was more than well behaved but also you kind of had a knack for it. Not to mention the mansion Emily lived in. The only problem from time to time was that asshole with the cornrows. He always blatantly ignored you or just stared at you until you left the room. You thought long and hard about what you did to piss him off and couldnt think of a single thing, so you decided he was just an asshole.

You needed to check with Miguel about taking Cristobal to the park, going to his office you just found Nestor standing next to an empty desk.

"Where is Miguel?"

He didnt respond.

"Where.Is.Miguel?" You ask with more attitude than you meant.

He blinked like he didnt understand.

"Nestor!" You raised your voice

"He stepped out. He'll be back in 10." His calm tone didnt match yours. You instantly felt embaressed to have been rude. Shit.

"Thanks" you walked out wishing you had been more calm

--------------------------

When you walked in he looked up, thinking it was miguel, to see you. You were wearing that new top he liked. It hugged your curves. The sun was hitting your face making you glow.

Fuck you were beautiful. He wanted to shove the chair out of the way and grab you and kiss you more than he ever wanted anything he knew he couldnt have.

Shit. You looked mad.

"Nestor!"

He gathered his thoughts

He watched you walk out. His stomach twisted that you seemed mad at him. Fuck.

----------------------

They were supposed to be gone all day so you were walking around the house, bouncing and humming a hymn to Cristobal in your pjs. He slowly fell asleep as you walked around the stairs to the den, you stopped dead.

You were met with the eyes of Miguel, Devante, Nestor, and a fair skinned man with a lot of jewlery and a shit eating grin as his eyes obviosuly roamed your body. You were just wearing a little bit too short of shorts and a tank top that cristobals sleepy hand was tugging down. You felt your stomach twist and cheeks flush.

"Sorry-I I didnt know anyone was home, he was getting fussy so.." you trailed off as Miguel stood up giving you a look you couldnt read. You looked over to Nestor and he looked upset.

"Dont worry mija we were just finishing up." Miguel said, like he meant it.

"Actually" the strange man stood, still undressing you with his eyes. It was starting to piss you off.

"Miguelito i think we should wait till my party next saturday to...finalize this deal huh?" He said with that same grin.

"Por supuesto" miguel said as he ushered the man to the other side of the room, talking to each other in spanish too quiet for you to decipher.

You felt stuck in your place. You focused on Cristobals breath against your chest. Trying to let it calm you. You noted more of the man. He looked dangerous. Emily told you Miguel was a international businessman and you believed her till you came here. You werent stupid enough to ask exactly what he did but you also werent stupid enough to believe he was just a businessman either.

The men came back and stood in front of you for a beat.

"Hey listen im really sorry i thought everyone was gone-" you started

"No worries chiquita, but do you have a passport?" Devante asked, eyebrow raised

-----------------------------

"Well if im being whored out i mine as well look good right?" You said smoothing down the soft rose gold satin dress as Emily and Dita sang your praises.

"How many times do i have to tell you (y/n) he just told Miguel he wanted to see you at the party, hes not going to do anything and we won't let him anyways." Emily reassured you, doing your hair.

"You're a part of the family now mija, this is our job as the women." You knew that comment was true, you saw it with your own eyes and that made it sting even more.

You were doing it for the sake of Emily and her family you told yourself. Plus you did look amazing in the dress.

You tugged at the zipper of the dress, it wouldn't budge.

"Hey em, can you-" you turned to see nestor at the door.

"I can if you want" his voice was gentle. Not that he was ever callous with you but it felt deliberate.

"Yeah sure" you half whispered, surprised it got caught in your throat.

He walked over. You moved your hair in front as he gently pulled the zipper up. Touching it when he was done. You turned.

"Listo?" He asked

You nodded, following. Feeling a flutter in your chest.

The drive to mexico was beautiful and serene. You mind did wander to Nestor and how sweet he was to you. You wondered if it was a fluke. Maybe he felt sorry for you. You tried not. to feel sorry for yourself.

You arrived to what looked like a castle. It had the guards with machine guns and everything. You found humor in that, as the situation sank in, you weren't scared.

It you were honest with yourself even when Nestor was cold to you, you always felt safe with him.

You all got out of the car, you last, as Nestor helped you onto the uneven stones. It'd been a minute since you wore heels.

"Dont worry." He leaned down to talk close to you, squeezing your hand. You met his smile.

The music was loud as you walked in. People were dancing and the mariachis were amazing. You were thankful to sit next to emily and dita. You felt eyes on you from men and their wives. You tugged your dress up. Definitley not the most revealing at the party but apparently it was enough.

"Its because you are not married" Dita told you, a comforting hand on your shoulder. "They are jealous" She smiled. It didnt make you feel better. You tried to focus on the drink in front of you.

The man from the house yelled joyfully and drunkenly in spanish and started walking toward the table. The men quickly stood up and met him halfway. Ushering him into a private room smoothly. Not before you made eye contact and he winked. You held your shudder.

The night went on and you found yourself almost having fun and forgetting the dangerous people around you.

You went to the bathroom as Devante and Dita danced.

You were looking for the bathroom when you felt a heavy hand on your waist. You jumped and turned. It was the man.

"Hello pretty women" he said with a accent slurred with the smell of strong alcohol that pinched your nose.

You backed up to find yourself against a wall. You started to look for a way out but his hand got harder on your waist, moving to hold your hip.

He leaned in speaking breathy spanish against your ear you couldnt understand on your best day. You took the opportunity to side step, noticing his henchmen about 10 ft away watching, glocks on their hips. The situation sank your stomach. You wouldnt be getting out of here.

"(Y/n) ive been looking everwhere for you." Dita shuffled past the man grabbing your arm and pulling you away. "Miguel needs to talk with you." She said louder than necesarry.

You were at a near jog down the hall. She stopped and turned you when you were safely away but not into the main area.

"Are you okay mija?" She held your hand. You felt tears welling.

"Men like that will ways exist and here, you will find them in abundance. It's important to stay close to us. They prey on the lone wolf okay?" You nodded. She wiped the tear you didnt know you shed.

She stayed with you till you calmed down.

"Brave face mija" she said as you walked back into the room, back to the table. Nestor and miguel were there looking directly at you, worried, trying to read your face. You forced a smile. Understanding what being in this family meant. It wasnt good. It wasnt bad. It was just your life now.

Nestor quickly sat next to you. Emily eyeing you, sympathetically. They were all too smart to not put together what happened. She touched your thigh, you flinched. She removed it. You could see she made a heartbroken face out the corner of your eyr but you couldnt bring yourself to meet her eyes.

"Im okay i promise. Just..shook up" you were honest. She nodded. You knew she felt terrible.

The night continued. Nestor wanted to kill him and he knew how he would do it. He shared looks with Miguel. He shook his head. Not yet. The second you walked out, holding ditas arm like it was the only thing keeping you up his stomach twisted. Rage ran down his back.

When he didnt see that bastard Diego and didnt see you, his mind raced and he was about to go down the hall to kill that fuck when Dita grabbed him.

"You can't. It has to be me." She didnt have to explain. He knew why. It killed him to turn around and walk away from the situation as his mind let dark thoughts in of what he was doing to you.

He kept looking at you, he could see you trying to be brave but under the table your leg was shaking and you were fidgeting with your hands.

"Come outside with me baby" he leaned over so only you could hear him.

You looked over at him standing with his hand out. You were thankful. Did he just call you baby? It sounded good coming out of his mouth.

You took his hand. It was calloused and strong. It calmed you down almost instantly as he led you outside. When people saw him coming they almost fell over themselves to move out of your way.

The cool air felt good on your flushed cheeks. He let go of your hand and led you to the balcony. You leaned on it, embracing the night air.

"Its really beautiful out here, all things considered." You chuckled.

He looked worringly at you, "Thank you Nestor." You grabbed his arm.

Fuck, his name sounded so good in your mouth.

"You're welcome." He watched as you leaned against the balcony. He wanted to touch you, tell you, youre beautiful but after what happened thats not what you needed and he knew it.

-------------------

You stayed like that for awhile, in each other's silence. The muffled sound of the mariachis relaxing you.

You felt your eyes getting heavy.

"Dont get tired now its not even 1am yet." You looked over, surprised he noticed.

"Maybe we can just stay out here all night then." You smiled at him.

Fuck he would do just about anything you asked. Crawl on glass in the snow, change your oil, anything as long as you kept smiling at him like that.

"But it's probably best to go inside right?" You sighed.

"I think so."

You grabbed his arm as you walked in, holding onto him and keeping your eyes on the table.

Time passed and you struggled to stay awake, you leaned on Nestor's shoulder without thinking, you froze. He moved over to make you more comfortable, moving his arm around you but not too much. You snuggled in. Damn he smelled good too. You closed your eyes, feeling people looking. Fuck em.

You were stirred up by Nestor rubbing your upper arm "hey, hey, time to go."

You stirred, never really falling asleep but not present for the end. Everyone was filing out slowly.

Nestor was looking over to Miguel and Diego. He shook Miguel's hand. He didn't look away as he put his coat over your shoulders and walked you all out.

You noticed Emily smirking at you, making eyes at Nestor's jacket around you.

You tried to open your mouth

"-Ah." She cut you off. "You don't need to tell me anything." She smiled.

You smiled back, happily getting in the warm car and doozing on and off on the way home, catching Nestor look at you in the rearview mirror made you blush.

You all made your way inside as you felt the emotional fatigue of the day in your legs.

Nestor was waiting by the front door. Not for you it seemed. Just taking a moment.

"Can i be out here with you for awhile?" You asked, ready for him to say anything.

"Yeah."

"Thanks for tonight, for taking care of me."

"I know you can take care of yourself (y/n). I just didn't want you to feel alone out there." He spoke softly, sitting next to you.

You stared at his face for the first time it seemed. He was beautiful. You dared to glance down at his lips.

He followed your eyes. He wouldn't move qn inch on you tonight. He didnt want to chance pushing you but fuck did he want you so bad.

You weren't used to initiating, you could see he wanted you but wouldnt move. You closed the distance, stopping just short to see if he'd react.

His head just barely titled up towards you, you took it and kissed him, you being the one to take control felt good. You wondered if he was usually like this.

He was gentle and sweet and you found yourself appreciating it tonight. You grabbed his face and you deepened the kiss.

You felt brave and stood up and sat down to straddle him. He grunted in the back of his throat as you grabbed his braid he moved his hands to hold your thigh and ass.

The kiss slowed down and he smiled into it. You laughed, dropping your head into his shoulder, touching your lips.

"Wow uh-" you got off him, laughing with him.

"Yeah" he laughed, grabbing your hand. "Let's go inside."

He dropped you off at your room which felt cute and a little ridiculous. It was fitting.

Words failed you and it seemed to him, as well.

"Goodnight." He said softly again.

"Good night Nestor." You replied closing your door, silently congratulating yourself for not dragging him into your room.

Whatever, give it a week. You smiled.