#she's such a good writer

[lesbianamalvada]

can't recommend "Darling" by K. Ancrum any more.

Everyone always wants to talk about Hook or Pan. Everyone always wants to debate which one is good and which is evil - who we’re supposed to follow and who we aren’t. The Peter Pan mythos has pretty much shrunk down to nothing but Hook and Pan (Hook, SyFy’s Neverland, Pan, OUAT, etc). Occasionally Tinkerbell factors in (Hook, Disney’s Tinkerbell, OUAT, etc). There’s one character, however, that always gets sidelined - which is puzzling since they are the main character of both the play and the book. That character is, of course, Wendy Darling.

Peter Pan is Wendy’s coming of age story. Wendy who decides to run away from home. Wendy who realizes that she must grow up - and that there’s no shame in that. Wendy who sees Peter as deficient and sees Hook as empty and decides that, no, she doesn’t want to be a part of that. Wendy gets the adventure she’s always wanted and she turns away because she realizes that it’s lacking. She’s the only one who truly sees the hollowness of being young forever. Barrie even says “You need not be sorry for her. She was one of the kind that likes to grow up. In the end she grew up of her own free will a day quicker than other girls.”

People always debate on who the hero is. When they learn that Peter could be horrid they assume it has to be Hook. Of course, the answer is that neither of them are the hero. Wendy is the hero of the story. You’re not supposed to be like Peter, who kept every good and bad aspects of being a child and can’t tell right from wrong. You’re not supposed to be Hook, either. He let go of everything childish and loving about him and became bitter and evil. They’re both the extreme ends of the scale. You’re supposed to fall in the middle, to hold onto the things about childhood that make it beautiful - the wonder, the imagination, the innocence - while still growing up and learning morality and responsibility. You’re not supposed to be Hook. You’re not supposed to be Peter Pan.

You’re supposed to be Wendy Darling. 

[liaisun]

losing my damn mind. "why break forever into measurable increments?" OF COURSE THEY MADE IT, NEITHER ONE HAD ANY DOUBT.

[sternentreue]

Look, I am the biggest rookanis shipper out there, their romance is 20/10, Lucanis is my little meow meow etc. but if you dare to say one bad thing about my wife Neve I'm going to end you.

[moyazaika]

hmm

[choccy-milky]

finally drew clora and seb's kids!!🙌🙌

Celeste Sallow: OK THIS IS THE NAME IM SUPER PROUD OF BAHAHA because not only does the name celeste relate to the stars (in typical ravenclaw fashion...clora picked the name) but celeste sallow is also an alliteration. BUT, its an alliteration that begins with a C, which means clora gets to match with celeste in the form of both of their names starting with a C, whereas sebastian gets to match with celeste because both of their names are an alliteration/they're alliteration allies🥹ITS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!🥳

Lewis Sallow: as for lewis, if you've read my fic then you know that seb has a vendetta against names that start with an L bahaha, but 'lewis' was actually HIS idea. when celeste was born, seb wanted to find a muggle story to read to her, since clora's favourite story is ALSO a muggle one (sherlock), and he wanted to stick with tradition. so he ended up finding alice in wonderland, which he loved because of how adventurous and clever alice was and of how much she reminded him of clora and celeste (both personality and looks wise). it became his favourite for those reasons, to the point that when they had lewis, sebastian overcame his L-name hatred by naming their son after lewis carroll.

Houses: celeste could have been sorted into either gryffindor or slytherin, but ultimately ends up in slytherin because she wants to be like seb. kinda like how clora also probably could have been in gryffindor, tbh. as for lewis.....him being 10000% in ravenclaw doesnt need any explanation BAHA, just look at him.

Appearance: since clora has a tiny bit of veela blood in her, thats obvs passed down to their kids, too, and so they mostly take after her as a result of it. but there's still little bits of seb that shine through in each of the kids: for lewis its his brown curly hair, and for celeste its her complexion/freckles. and the fact that celeste looks so similar to clora only doubles up sebastian's stress/protective instincts when he watches her BAHAH. he's ofc still proud that she takes after him so closely, but seb also cant deny that he wishes it had been their SON that had taken after him instead, to keep her out of danger.

Celeste & Lewis: for celeste and lewis’ relationship, celeste is a super proud big sister, and treats lewis kinda like how seb treats clora. if there's anything that needs to be done, she offers to do it for him. and although she doesn’t have the patience to read stories herself, she loves playing outside and having lewis read to her in the background, and loves to act out/use his stories to fuel her imagination. and lewis makes sure to pick stories that he KNOWS she’ll like (which mostly involve heroic and daring feats of adventurers or pirates. he's tried to read more classic fairytales and romances to her a few times, but celeste always gets bored). she loves to draw though, so sometimes when lewis reads books that have no pictures, she'll draw them herself.

Celeste & Seb/Clora: celeste is a daddy's girl LOL and always tries to impress seb with the stuff she does, especially after hearing how HE was at her age, and so its half to impress and half because shes competitive that she wants to do the same/be just as good. and seb always gets a kick out of hearing her feats in the crossed wands club, or in defense against the dark arts class, and he also goads her on, telling her she'll have to do better than that if she wants to be as good as HE was. and whenever celeste gets detention, clora always stresses and asks why, whereas seb just tries to keep the smirk off his face. as for celeste and clora, clora also reads to celeste, and bakes and cooks with her, which is something celeste actually likes doing. not only because it keeps her busy and she likes to help and get messy in general, but also because she likes the fact that it results in good food afterwards LOL, and constantly asks when things can be taken out of the oven. also, for as tomboy-y as celeste is, she honestly doesn't mind/likes the clothing that clora puts her in and likes when clora dresses her up, bc it makes her look like one of the princesses from the storybooks, and it just amuses her more than anything else. once she enters hogwarts, though, its mostly trousers. but she still DOES like the occasional girly clothing.

Lewis & Seb/Clora: lewis is a momma's boy LOL and unlike celeste, doesnt care about duelling or of proving himself or anything like that, and is only concerned with stories and his future studies. so ofc clora had to show him sherlock, which he naturally loved. it even inspired lewis to want to write his own stories, so that he could challenge his own skill and see if he could, but also because he wants his mom to read them, and likes the idea of writing his own sherlock-esque story with equations and mysteries to be solved that he can offer her. lewis also wants to write a book for celeste as well, bc although he wont admit it, he basically wants to write a story tailor-made for her and her interests. one that he thinks will have everything she’d love in it. and part of it is genuinely because he WANTS to do it for her, but the other part of it is also for his ego, and to see if he CAN write a compelling story, and write something that would actually get THE hyperactive celeste to sit down and read it in its entirety (not to mention of her own volition). as for with seb, lewis looks up to him more than anyone else, due to how well-rounded he is and how hes so good at practical stuff AND studying, and he kinda sees seb as a main character/protagonist from one of his books, and uses sebastian as inspiration for his own stories. if hes stuck on what he thinks the dashing main character should do next, he'll ask his dad what HE would do, which results in seb getting very weird questions that he nonetheless is always happy to answer. also, when lewis is older and finally learns the full story of what happened with clora and seb and ranrok and rookwood, he writes their story in novel form, except he just changes their names/some of the details, and it becomes a best seller LOL. and i didnt know where to put this, but the four of them all read a story before bed every night, with lewis in the middle and seb and clora on either side of him. though celeste stands at the foot of the bed, basically doing a charade/mime show of what theyre reading, and putting on a little play to go along with it BAHHA.

OK thats all i can think of for now ive yapped enough😩 if youve read all of this ur a real one.... ive also considered giving them a 3rd (and last) child, which would be a boy that looks exactly like seb, and seb would just be praying like please.....let this son take after me🧎‍♂️🙏 BAHHA

[cassowariess]

It was pretty dark that it was revealed that Rick didn't bother entering the Fear Hole to save Morty in the first place, but the fact that Rick went back to it after being told Diane was in there, and not only refused to go into it, but pinned Morty's photo to the wall (a photo he now keeps in his wallet) shows that Rick *is* moving on and healing from her death. His family here and now are what matter.

[batcavescolony]

Ok let's go back to this line from Agatha All Along

"it's underwater! There's a boy. It's a prank. They tricked him. He's gonna drown. it's a bad place. And the people, the family, there's no one to love him! He's got no one!"

Guys we're getting some Tommy lore and it's heart breaking💔 (we knew it would be).

[marinette-buginette]

Kiyi is not a Princess - A Look At the Fire Nation's Line of Succession

It's not even that much about Kiyi. But the creators seemingly got so lost in the sauce that their ideas about how absolutist monarchies work are as good as taken out of Disney movies now. So, let's set the record straight.

The Fire Nation line of succession

When it comes to royal lines, there were multiple elements that went into setting the line of succession: descent, sex, legitimacy, religion etc. For the Fire Nation, the ones we have 100% confirmed are descent and legitimacy (this last one seen with the Camellia-Peony War, where Chaejin was excluded from the succession because he was born out of wedlock). I would have gone on a whim to say sex counts as well, however, it is a bit foggy. In the Reckoning of Roku, it is mentioned that Firelord Taiso believed Zeisan (Sozin's younger sister) would have been a more competent ruler but could never become Fire Lord due to being a nonbender (I didn't actually read the book, so if someone who did wants to pitch in with the exact wording, please feel free to). This implies that being a Firebender is a requirement, but being a woman isn't. However, it also implies that Taiso would have been fine with ignoring the descent part (Sozin was older) if he deemed fit. Skipping the firstborn in favour of the second one isn't unheard of when it comes to succession so sure. And he is the absolute monarch, if he wants to pass papers to change the line of succession, he can. It is unclear to me if there is any power in place to veto or block a Fire Lord's ruling on any matter so for all we know, if he wanted, he could have. Plus, the fact that Ozai got crowned over Iroh because it was 'Azulon's dying wish'. For the religion part, it seems like the Fire Sages have to perform the coronation and acknowledge the monarch.

So to make it more digestible, the line of succession (while Azulon was still alive) is: Iroh → Lu Ten (firstborn of the heir) → Ozai → Zuko → Azula. With Lu Ten dead, Iroh MIA (at the time) then we have Ozai → Zuko → Azula. When Iroh came back, he gets added at the end of this line of succession. I am a bit unclear on Iroh in current times because it looks to me like he rescinded his role in the line of succession altogether with deciding to live in Ba Sing Se and letting politically inexperienced Zuko rule instead of taking over for a few years to create some stability.

Right now, we have Fire Lord Zuko and his heir presumptive (aka an heir that can be displaced if the monarch has children) Azula. Unless he wrote a decree to take her out of the line of succession — which would require a lot more brain cells than the writers are willing to give Zuko, not that he had a lot of them when it came to politics to begin with —then she's next in line. It doesn't matter how much anyone wants it or not, if Zuko drops dead tomorrow, Azula gets the throne.

Now, onto the other matter.

How does one become a Princess?

Option 1: You marry into the royal family. For example, Ursa was styled as a Princess, as she married Prince Ozai.

Option 2: You're born in a royal line. For example, Azula is a Princess because her father is a Prince, her grandfather, at the time of her birth, was the ruling monarch of the Fire Nation etc.

Bonus Option it's complicated: Royals had a habit of having children out of wedlock sometimes. Said children, if acknowledged, could be granted titles (Count of X, Dutchess of Y etc.) . Getting acknowledged and a title does not automatically put you in the line of succession, though. For example, Firelord Chaeryu was forced to acknowledge Chaejin and avoid dishonoring his noble mother and her house, but he excluded Chaejin from the royal family.

So Kiyi is not a Princess. Simple as that. Neither of her parents are of the royal line.

Could she become a Princess?

Well, this gets interesting.

Let's start with the fact that Kiyi got a pretty bad deal in a class-based monarchical society.

First thing, while her mother is a noble, her father is a commoner. Even if Ursa's family became destitute after Roku's death because of political reasons, it does not change the fact that she is still nobility unless Sozin revoked Rina's title, which I am not 100% sure he did. We don't know anything about Jinzuk besides the fact that he was the magistrate of Hira'a. While magistrates do not have to be part of the nobility, they can be. He could have been a second/third/fourth son of a small noble family with limited power/resources, given the position he was given was in a place like Hira'a, which is what I am inclining towards. He could have also been just some guy, but someone appointed him, and as a rule of thumb, you don't just go into the street and pick a random person to appoint to an administrative and leadership role, even if it's a small town. Given that Azulon was set on Ozai marrying Ursa because she was Roku's granddaughter, whether or not Jinzuk was a noble, it doesn't matter all that much in the grand scheme of things. However, in Kiyi's case, it does if Zuko wants to give her a title. It's more stigma than anything because people can be given nobility titles for specific services to the crown etc. But this is not her only issue. Which leads me to...

Second thing, Kiyi is a bastard. Which, in my opinion, would hold even more stigma than her father not being a noble. Ursa never divorced Ozai. As far as we know, polygamist marriages aren't a thing in the Fire Nation, so her marriage to Ikem/Noren is invalid. Could she be granted a divorce retroactively by the Fire Sages? Actually, yeah. Because Zuko named Shyu as High Sage, which was like the one sound political move he ever did tbh. We don't see what the Fire Nation's stance on divorce is, but given that Shyu is a Zuko loyalist, he'd probably grant Ursa retroactive divorce from Ozai. I am not a legal expert, however, as far as I know, retroactive decisions tend to be reserved for correcting a mistake or omission in the written record. She was still married to Ozai when she went and married Ikem. Though technically, she married him under a fake identity (and so did he), which might make the marriage void regardless in the eyes of the law. Idk how Spirit involvement affects legal matters in the world of Avatar, but as things stand right now, unless we pretzel-twist ourselves to make excuses, Kiyi is born outside of legitimate wedlock.

Now, Zuko might not care. In fact, he probably doesn't. He could still give Kiyi a title, including that of Princess. It was not uncommon for illegitimate relatives of rulers to be offered roles/titles once acknowledged. The real question is if he would put her in the line of succession. Kiyi has no business being there because she does not have royal blood.

Could Zuko do whatever he wants, give her the title of Princess and shove her in the line of succession while taking Azula out of it for good measure? Sure, he can. He'd probably love that, in fact. But that leaves two things open.

One, nobility would not take kindly to a bastard child of a commoner with no royal blood being in the line of succession. If we also add the angle of taking Azula out of it, it would just increase their ire. There is already a long list of why the nobility is probably angry at Zuko (and should attempt to assassinate him a lot more than they do), but I think this one in particular has other implications. There might be nobles who are neutral about Zuko. Shamelessly discarding societal norms on a whim might make their perspective swing towards negative. It could make him lose goodwill he might have or potential allies.

Two, it will make the commoners wonder. If this random girl, raised as a peasant, with a commoner father, born out of wedlock, can be put in the line of succession just like that — while discarding a princess of the blood if we are at it — then… is the royal line not that special? The whole premise of a monarchy is that the monarch and their descendants have the divine right to rule. Being part of that bloodline gives you the right to rule. So if that can be discarded, if that bloodline is not all that important… should Zuko be Firelord? And most importantly, does the Fire Nation really need a monarch at all?

Kiyi is not a princess, and for the well-being of Zuko's reign — which is already barely holding together — he better not make her one.

[deoidesign]

I'm so mad that post was misinformation because there is actually an EXTREMELY important conversation to have about the production schedules artists are forced into. There's no need for exaggeration, the conditions are bad.

I work for webtoon. My publication schedule is weekly. While publishing I'm required 10-15 pages a week. Fully colored.

This means I'm finishing a 150 page fully colored graphic novel every 10-15 weeks.

When my comic is not updating, I am not getting paid. Any time writing, editing, or off is out of my own pocket. I don't get healthcare. They do not provide any assistants. They expect me to promote myself; they chose to deprioritize me before I even launched and gave me an end date half a year in. I never had a chance.

And this is the industry standard! Every company has artists forced into crunch hours, overtime, and burnout. Artists are literally dying early due to it. So many of my friends can't afford to go to the doctor.

It's unsustainable and untenable, and it's also the expectation our audiences have.

If we want to have this conversation, there's plenty of conversation to be had with the realities of the situation. It's bad as is.

[orphiclovers]

han sooyoung, on being the villain

[angelbunny-shenanigans]

I'm ovulating so hard rn I need creampies. Creampies and don't stop after one. Overstimulate me into another universe but don't stop. creampie after creampie. just another one. just one more.

[gothamite-rambler]

Talia is a villain, but she's not a monster (like Catalina is)

Bane: So, the night you sexually assaulted Batman—

Talia (enraged): I didn't rape him!

Bane: Hey, we're all criminals here. Except Batman, who's standing over there.

Batman waved, waiting for Damian to get back from the bathroom.

Talia: We had consensual sex! I am many things that our culture would deem "wrong," but I am not a rapist! Our night of passion—

Batman: Regrets! Stupid condom breaking.

Talia: Passion to me! It was one where he came to my bed chambers and took me, making me feel like a natural woman. He inserted his—

Batman: STOP DETAILING IT!

Talia: It was a night I enjoyed. It’s a compliment to your sexual prowess.

Batman: Yeah, but… my other children are here.

Nightwing was sitting on the ground, covering his ears, while Red Hood had walked off to avoid vomiting. Harley crept over beside Batman, intrigued.

Harley: Is he uncircumcised?

Talia: He is circumcised and perfection!

Nightwing: Oh God, I heard it!

Red Robin (on the comms): Can you turn off your fucking comms! I'm not even there, and I heard it!

Batman (sighing, covering his eyes): As much as I regret our relationship, we did have consensual sex. Damian wasn't planned, but he's the only good thing to come out of being with her.

Damian (who had walked over a second ago): Aww, thanks, Dad.

Talia (turning to Bane): See? So cut the crap about me raping him! That rumor needs to die already! Again, I am many things, but I’m not a monster.

Bane: My apologies, then. My question can still be asked, though: when you had regrettable sex with him, what candles did you use? I have a date tonight.

Batman: THAT'S WHY YOU ASKED IT LIKE THAT?!

Talia: Lavender scented. Always go with lavender scented.

Bane: Gracias.

Batman covered his mouth, groaning in embarrassment. Harley patted him on the arm, trying not to laugh.

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

•~{ Heyyy so you gremlins choose this one out if the poll so here you go! }~•

•Cafe Ghost•

A new cafe has opened just on the edge of Crime Alley.

It’s in one of the old buildings that was a front for one of the older gangs that have long since been destroyed. It’s known to serve anyone as long as you don’t do these five things.

1: Insult the Employees or the Owners guests.

2: Try to hurt or have hurt anyone in the cafe.

3: Mess with the alley delivery kids.

4:Do not lie to the alley kids about payment they always tell Owner.

5: Make promises you will not keep.

If you do anything on this list your going to get cursed into silence or something worse if it’s the Owner but if it’s the Employee you’ll just get back talked to hell and back or in worse case stabbed. But no one in the alley really cares as the food and drinks are so good and cheap for Gotham so even the alley kids who don’t work there can get food and the Alley doesn’t rat out safe spaces.

But it has caught the attention of the Bats for the mysterious nature of the Owner and his Employe so three members of the family will go undercover and investigate the cafe

Damien and Tim will go undercover as Dion and Ivan who are two Alley kids that are looking for a way to make money the legal way after being backstabbed by their old boss. And Jason will be going as Otto who is an ex-con who is also looking for work after getting caught by the bats a few years back.

Let the investigation proceed.

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Background•

Danny was just going about his [ half ] life.

Danny came out to his parents about being a ghost and him being phantom with jazz there and Sam, Tucker listening in with a go-bag if they need to skip town fast but that wasn’t needed as his parents immediately went into apologizing for what they said and how scared he must have been and omg we shot our son!!!

So that when very well after that his parents views on ghost changed for the better and thankfully they cut all ties with the G.I.W even if there still somewhat a problem but their manageable so as long as they all keep them at bay it should be fine.

And Jazz “accidentally” reveals Vlad •~{ I heacannon that Jazz hates Vlad with a passion for how weird he is about Danny }~• and everything he’s done and how he acted towards Danny…let’s just say the Fentons were in need of new Fenton-bats as all of there’s were bent out of shape.

Anyway with the less stress from having your parents shooting you every other night his grades have been get better admittedly slowly but there getting better! And everything in Danny’s life has finally chilled out and he can just relax.

Until Vlad decided to be a problem.

Vlad after healing from the beating the Fentons gave him, his obsession started to change from marrying Maddie to taking Danny as his [Not in a romantic way like the Batfam will think, IF I SEE THEM BEING SHIP HERE YOU WILL BE BLOCKED THAT IS A CHILD AND A GROWN MAN] so he had to get Danny and keep him but with the Fentons protection he couldn’t get Danny that way so he kidnapped Dani who has come back to Amity park to visit Danny Mama and got grab by Vlad.

Vlad started to destabilize Dani to create a new clone as a place holder until he can grab the real Danny, But he was unable to destabilize Dani all the way as Danny blasted through the wall and grab Dani and booked it back to his house. [This is very simplified, I’m just shit at writing this type of shit]

So 16 year old Danny and a de-aged 2 Dani ( Who has been renamed Arsa ) feeling very uncomfortable and unsafe with Vlad being around but as Danny’s still in high school and under Fentons protection and not to mention Danny would finish the job his parents and the portal couldn’t.

So he stays until he finishes high school well it was a bit more difficult to keep his grades up with his new daughter but he managers and when he graduates he gives his family+Sam and Tucker a way to connect them and promise to visit every once and a while and books it to the ghost zone and into his liar where Vlad can’t get in as Danny wouldn’t let him.

And Danny + Arsa stay there for 11 years [on the earth side of it ✨Time difference✨] well visiting everyone when Vlad was in the ghost zone doing what ever shady shit he does or trying to get into Danny lair and when Danny feels like Arsa and protect herself from whatever may try to hurt her they move back and decide to move to Gotham as amity park is far to close to Vlad then Danny likes to be.

And they open the cafe just for some extra play money and for fun and that’s how we got here.

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Little Facts•

•Danny is trans in this Au

•Asra doesn’t have memories from when she was Dani but she does have feelings

•Maddie and Jack are keeping the G.I.W at bay so they don’t start a war and keep Vlad on his toes while Jazz is in star city as a therapist or psychiatrist

•Danny and Asra choose what age they want to look like so Danny picked 21 and Asra will also probably pick 21 but she still wants to act like a kid or teenager for a few hundred years before than [it’s for Dani who never got the chance to be a kid or teenager]

•Danny somehow found a beanie that looks exactly like the one Dani wore and gave it to Asra as a gift now she wears it with her dagger pins with the magic Danny taught her :)

•Danny is really good at magic, the Fentons think it’s because down the line they most like had witch’s and fea folk in their family tree

•Jason starts to have a crush on Danny after seeing him beat the shit out of Vlad or the Joker for the alley kids

•Danny mother hens the shit out of the alley kids and the alley kids love it as most don’t have the best parents, Damien and Tim are no exceptions :)

•Danny has chilled out with age but is still a feral fucker at heart, Asra doesn’t hide it

•Asra call Danny “Mama” or “The boss man” when on the clock and will call Danny “Papa” if she feels like it

•Asra added to the Vlad and Danny misunderstanding because she is tired of having to deal with this vampire from Temu

•Danny and Asra are always up to some good old gender fuckery

-•—••••••••••••••••—•-

•Appearance•

Dannys appearance•

[Danny likes to wear pants when working so the skirt doesn’t get stuck on anything]

[ But when he can wear skirts and dresses he makes sure to add pretty shinys ]

Asras Appearance•

[She likes pants not much to say]

•~{ And that’s it I hope this is what you gremlins wanted until next time byeeee }~•

[tackykachowch]

I'm still disappointed how shallow Jinx and Sevika teaming up is. Sevika literally hates Jinx for screwing everything up and potentially ruining their plans for getting independence for Zaun. Her last line to Jinx is literally "I can't wait until you implode and Silco finally gets the message that you're as good for our cause as you were for your family. Jinx". Why would she not want to give up Jinx to Piltover then? ESPECIALLY knowing that this will potentially make Zaun independent? Is it not her primary goal? Besides, does she even know that Jinx killed Silco? A man she was really loyal to, for whose sake she lost her arm, who she respected and hoped will bring the Undercity its long-awaited freedom? And if she finds out that the girl she was so against killed him? Oh brother she would be AFTER HER ASS even more than Piltover.

I'm all for their partnership btw, I think they have a great dynamic, but it has to be REALLY earned. Other people hate Jinx for what she's done to them, but Sevika hates her because she stands in a way of her entire life's purpose. I would even say that they should've dedicated an entire act to their reconciliation instead of the whole Isha crap.

[seventeendeer]

my lifelong special interest in sonic the hedgehog has both a very sincere side (those little animal characters are so cute! these games are fun! yay bright colors and the power of friendship!) and a side I can only describe as "morbid fascination with all the ways a long-running franchise can try to do a million different things and none of them are good or right or nourishing to the human spirit"

today, I would like to take you all on a special journey through the latter !

did you know that, at a conservative estimate, there have been attempts to create a recurring love interest for the blue man himself no less than FIVE SEPARATE TIMES. MORE IF YOU COUNT THE ONES THAT WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO LAST

below is Madonna (left) and Breezie (right). Madonna was a damsel in distress type character Sonic would've been saving in an early draft of the OG 1991 game. Breezie was a temporary love interest in the 90's cartoon, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, who seems to be inspired by the scrapped Madonna concept.

another scrapped love interest was Tiara Boobowski, who was at one point in development going to be a playable character in Sonic X-treme, a game intended for release in the 90's, though it never materialized. it seems her story went through a few different iterations before development ceased. she has the dubious honor of being the first "princess" character created for the purpose of being Sonic's love interest, which would be revisited at least two more times in other contexts.

the first love interest to stick around for a while was Princess Sally Acorn, developed from the squirrel critter design in the early games into a major supporting character in the 90's cartoon Sonic SatAM (left), then kept around in various iterations in the comic book spin-off series published by Archie Comics (middle + right) until the series' end in the mid-10's. she was in an on-and-off relationship with Sonic over those decades, for better or for worse, and they had by far the longest running romance arc out of all of Sonic's love interests to date. after suffering every romantic melodrama plotline imaginable, she was unceremoniously booted from the franchise when the rights to Sonic comic books were moved over to IDW Publishing. rest in peace, Sally, you didn't deserve any of that. at the very least for five minutes towards the end, she stopped dating Sonic and it was implied she started dating her long-time gal pal, Nicole, so she had that going for her for a little bit. counting our blessings

speaking of romantic melodrama, the Archie comics also gave Sonic a temporary love interest in Mina Mongoose because they wanted to write in a love triangle. there was a "main characters all grown up and starting nuclear families" future story at one point where they married Mina off to Tails instead, which somehow felt deeply cruel to both Mina and Tails. "hand-me-down love interest" is a bad, bad vibe for everyone involved

a few years on, in the mid 00's, the games were having their own weird little time giving Sonic a short-lived romance arc with new addition to the cast, Princess Elise the Third, who only showed up in the game Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) and managed to lay one singular smooch on Sonic's corpse to bring him back from the dead, disney style, before she was banished from the franchise due to a monumental amount of backlash (against both her character and the game as a whole). I'm beaming hostile psychic waves into sega's headquarters until they bring her back with better writing and none of that stupid shit. they did it with Silver, they have no excuse

and of course we finally have the one. the only. the most persistent girly of all time who's been trying to marry Sonic since 1993 and is still truckin' on in the year of our lord 2025 even though he's slippery as an eel and he "don't wanna" and there's kind of an uncomfortable age difference and reciprocated romance has over time become more or less outlawed by Sega because it never really pans out for them for some inexplicable mysterious reason. everybody's favorite hyper violent child psychic AMY ROSE !!!!

great character!! has always had so much potential to do her own cool thing if only they'd let her!! if they don't drop the stupid "kinda love interest, kinda not" aspect of her character soon, I'm going to start CRYING BLOOD!! FREE HER <3

anyway honorary mention also goes to Blaze the Cat (left, game continuity, still active), Bunnie Rabbot (center, Sonic SatAM + Archie comics, goners with the Archie series cancellation) and Fiona Fox (right, Archie comics, also goners, same deal), who, while not introduced as love interests, have all been put into some kind of romantic context with Sonic at one point or another just because

(and also while not really relevant to the topic at hand, I would be remiss not to give a special shout-out to the multitude of male characters who were most likely never intended to have any romantic connection to Sonic, but because this series is shonen anime inspired and the rivalries get crazy, our boy still has to hear shit like this on the regular)

and like, you know I've probably forgotten some more girlies out there, too. Sonic the Hedgehog has been pelted with potential romance arcs since the day he was created, and I'm sure there are more out there lost to time/my shoddy memory.

and it's just ... so profoundly morbidly funny to me. unstoppable force (heteronormativity) VS immovable object (misogyny). countless futile attempts to convince kids across the world that a cool guy like Sonic TOTALLY GETS GIRLS, DAMN IT, HE IS FULFILLING HIS HETEROSEXUALITY QUOTA, WE PROMISE, combined with this utter disinterest in sufficiently developing female characters who can effectively fill that role. even Sally Acorn, who was put through hell in the spin-off comics for DECADES serving as the designated narrative romantic punching bag, would eventually go gentle into that good night without fanfare because porting her into a new continuity would just be so much worrrrrk ughhh she's not even Sonic's girlfriend anymore so whateverrrrr

though as much as a massive L as this is for women, at the very least these poor girls are taking the obligatory main character romantic subplot down with them. taking one for the team here. Sonic is so fast and so smooth, those cringey romance plots just slide right off the wind screen of his character and I at least love that part. I love that it never works out and our protagonist remains utterly unpairable. and I hope nothing ever sticks. and I hope the current staff continue to get better at writing female characters just for the sake of having some cool girls around who are interesting in their own right. and may a thousand more cynical, sexist, half-assed attempts to awkwardly shoehorn romance into stories where it doesn't belong wither and die just as spectacularly, booyah

[bumblingbabooshka]

Section 31 is so lame. Like, I can just tell with every word they say that they think they're SO cool and the writers think they're so cool but they're so smug and laaaame I am rolling my eeeyeees