#she's such a good rant reviewer
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
help i cant stop rewatching weirdo book club videos
#something about her cadence just hits perfectly in my brain#she's such a good rant reviewer#and i love how she balances “i will defend to the death your right to like anything 'problematic' but you cant physically harm people”#i love how shes like “i will critique the wild but i think you should be allowed to write and read it#BUT purposefully hiding the incest and CSA from readers constitutes material harm and thats indefensible“#its nice nuance!!#so many rant reviews are just “ew this book has KINKS in it!!!” which sucks its so fun to listen to!!!#*no fun#like. sometimes a book has a rape kink and thats FINE but you have to present it as what it is or you could trigger people
1 note
·
View note
Text
I recently started reading (and ended up dropping partway through) an m/m retelling of an old legend, and it made me think of this reoccurring thing I've come across a handful of times now in m/m fiction and how they approach women, equality, and world-building.
Let's call it the omegaverse problem, because that's where it seems the most blatant (I've only come across it twice outside of fandom spaces that I can remember). Basically, it's when the writer looks at the unequal and sometimes oppressive roles women serve in society (today and historically), and goes 'this is a good basis for dark romance but there are too many women here' and then just. plops men into the roles traditionally served by women and recreates heteronormative tropes but They're All Men Now, none of those icky women.
Now, completely removing any and all gender based inequality isn't a bad basis for a queer-inclusive fantasy! But thing is, this type of narrative isn't interested in women, so they often read as if women have mysteriously disappeared from society (except for the occassional mom or sister). They don’t bother to include women in traditionally male areas (the book I dropped had plenty of male courtesans, with diplomats and bodyguards and advisors also being male) nor to create new roles for them.
They also generally don’t bother to look critically at the systemic and societal inequalities they're mimicking. The concept 'typically sexist society but they're all men (or all women)' could be used to alienate and deconstruct our ideas of what’s 'normal' and what’s oppressive, a way to compare the intersections of class and gender. Instead, this kind of story is only interested in using inequality as inter-character conflict and set-up for romance. And it sucks.
#rambles#i assumed going in that the original legend (which i was unfamiliar with) was a bromance kind of thing#and that the author was reimagining it as explicitly queer#but it kept feeling like one of the roles had simply had 'she' replaced with 'he'#and looking up the original yeah it was an m/f romance#and switching that up to m/m is obviously fine!#but women felt so wholly removed from the worldbuilding and the narrative where they had been central that it started feeling like erasure#if it wanted to be a sort 'gender blind' world where women and men could equally fill all roles that would've been so easy to do!#literally any of the side characters could’ve been gender flipped!#but no everyone but the supportive sister and dying mom Must Be Men#this is what you get when the author doesn't slow down to think about the implications of the worldbuilding#good fantasy always thinks about the implications of the worldbuilding!!#anyway i would usually have had this rant in a review/critique#but my personal policy is to never review a book a didn’t finish so. tumblr complaining time instead. yay#nella talks books
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fiyero Tiggular did not sing the entirety of Dancing Through Life — fear infested depression disguised as nihilistic warts and all — for so many to just write him off as the handsome but shallow popular guy
#guess who went to see Part 1 in theatres#seen one too many reviews and analysis that only mention that he’s hot and good at dancing and singing#one analyzer barely drew parallels between the lyrics and consciously staying ignorant under the rise of fascism#and like yes that is a big theme too but how are you not connecting the dots#the song doesn’t just exist to represent an important subject it is sung by Fiyero for a reason#it’s supposed to inform his character as well#just like Glinda isn’t really happy when she sings Thank Goodness but pretends to in order to keep up appearances#Fiyero sings this song to present himself as shallow and easy going instead of as downright unhappy as he is#ugh I know there are countless people who get this#I just wish the youtube essayists making 40 min + videos did too#fiyero tiggular#wicked the musical#wicked#wicked discourse#the potato rants in the tags
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#ok so mini rant session#i am doing a bit better today - little less distraught over getting fired from a job i thought i was doing pretty good at and i was trying#really hard and genuinely enjoying#and just more baffled because truly i had no warning and i was completely blindsided#i was in the middle of a 3 month trial and i would have a review at the end in which i would be offered a permanent position if it went well#and i thought i was making my way towards that! granted i was still making mistakes but genuinely not of such a great scale i thought it#called for my immediate dismissal#that being said i was still VERY MUCH IN TRAINING. i had only been there A MONTH AND A HALF learning COMPLETELY NEW SYSTEMS#and i was told that i had been there a few weeks already and that i wasn’t catching on quick enough. that there were some areas i was#understanding and others i just simply wasn’t#and i asked what areas specifically so that i could learn more and try harder#and they didn’t give me a specific answer.#ok and so. so. i have this insecurity.#that at first impression people will like me. that they may think i’m pretty or kind or funny or whatever#but then they spend time with me or get to know me and realize that that’s all bullshit.#that i’m actually not pretty and im mean and loud and selfish and lazy and rude and etc etc etc#MASSIVE fucking insecurity in that like that’s why i genuinely don’t have friends or a significant other#and that genuinely i’m just a Bad Person#and when i was fired? i was told ‘a persons true colours show after a few weeks’#so that’s MAJORLY fucking me up.#when i was hired i was boasted to about my boss’s hiring process and how she’s ’only been fooled twice’#and the morning before i was fired in a meeting my supervisor told everyone that i was doing quite well.#so yeah i truly had no fucking warning. at fucking all.#hurt and confused and angry and baffled and did i mention hurt#anyways if you’re still here i’m sorry i know this is not a good look for me
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
So
Just watched the movie “Misery”
Here is my summary of the movie:
That is all
#no but seriously this movie was SO GOOD#my heart was rly racing in some scenes#I was rooting for buddy the elf’s dad the whole time#and of course misery the pig#she is best gorl#funny#meme#funny meme#misery#misery movie#misery horror movie#horror movie#horror#thriller movie#thriller#thrillers#movie rant#movie review#art#I guess
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Really do love the original Ace Attorney character designs and I’m really not a fan of the way they shifted in AA5 (like many other good things in the games...). Originally the important characters looked like wacky cartoonish versions of real people, but in AA5 they just become fully cartoony and don’t even have that real-world grounding at all. I can’t really explain it but they also just become way more cluttered like they’re throwing random design elements at the wall and seeing what sticks. Athena's and Blackquill designs are bad (honestly Blackquill’s suit is great but the skunk hair just throws it all off), but it also extends to side charas like Prof Means, wtf was going on there!
#one day I'll drop my redesign for Athena she deserved better#If anyone wants me to drop my full AA5 review from summer 2021 I will....#It's mostly a rant cuz I was v fustrated with that game lol#the first 4 ace attorney games are near and dear to my heart but I don't fuck with the 3D games they are just... bad#Not including the great ace attorney because I haven't played it but I've heard good things#ace attorney#text post
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
righted reviews of good omens
original reviews under the cut
#good omens#good omens 2#go#go 2#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable spouses#blackout#blackout poetry#i hope my edit of the last one didnt come off badly#the gender binary clearly does NOT apply to angels (in this show at least)#i love how much this show and this season in particular did NOT hesitate to say fuck bigotry#she/her god? nb beelzebub? genderfluid crowley? disabled saraquiel? and more that im probably forgetting#i am so fucking flabbergasted by the last review. how in the world is THAT your reaction to this show#i have a few issues with this season but some of these reviews got my blood boiling.#a show filled with complexity and love and hope and beauty for all (which is what makes the ending so impactful imo)#ppl come up with the worst fucking takes#sry for the rant#and this is probly an excessive tag essay oops#anyway love good omens hoping and praying for s3#rewatch rewatch rewatch#long post
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
When these three showed up I just gasped in absolute joy
(anyway so uh upon breaking the new update in it's genuinely just like. Really really good. and istg the trial reward thing kinda scared me at first but I'm pretty sure just about everything you got from the trials you can buy from the new shop so getting said new shop's currency from the trials basically has the same effect I think except now you get to choose what your reward is so yeah. Also one new thing in the shop is like a jar that's basically the shell-out machine from Splatoon 3 so Yippee I can get stuff from before I started playing the game-)
#I'll make like a huge post reviewing the changes eventually I guess but for now I'll just be happy that the cookiemals are here#Cookie run#cookie run spoilers#crob spoilers#cookiemals#Also I had like the dumbest smile on my face seeing that in the limited pool of playable cookies allowed in the paradise test#They decided to give the privilege of a spot to peppercorn. And I'm happy she hasn't been forgotten like she was genuinely a good character#And I hope people will start seeing that instead of just dismissing her for her weapon choice.#(Like. Look. My persian xss thought she was fine at least the way she finally released-)#Ok I need to stop rambling about this like. Idk I brought it up once and I felt like I had to go deeper and if I didn't I would be smote#I don't wanna ramble about this I just wanna play the silly cookie game now#I just get scared that if I don't ramble the moment I bring anything tangentially related to it up that people will start to rant and-#It's 11pm I need to shut up (I didn't used to get this tired at this time but right now I'm already feeling my eyes trying to shut like wha
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyway did you hear that the new Harry Potter game has a trans woman in it? I know, shocker.
Her name's Sirona Ryan.
In between her name probably being specifically chosen for people to call her 'Sir Ryan', I look at it and think, 'Oh. Sirona. Like sirens. Like the creatures in Greek mythology that lured people to their deaths with falsities. Implying danger. Implying lies. Implying that this character isn't a real woman. Couple that with the last name. 'Ryan'. Which is an actual last name, granted. But seems so weird as a name to give to a trans woman. Since the name is also a first name. And is typically associated with men. And Rowling is a TERF. Implying invalidation towards her as a trans woman. Huh. Interesting.'
By the way, from a cursory Google search, 'Sirona' comes from Celtic mythology as a name that one of the goddesses use, but come on. Are we really going to believe that she did the research on that? That it was intentional? Sheesh.
#just ranting about it here#giving brief thoughts about it like my initial impressions upon hearing about this#hard to say if this is an attempt to get into peoples' good graces#like 'ohh Rowling has changed! she's added a trans person into the script so she can't be transphobic!'#or if it's some means to distract from the BLATANT ANTISEMITISM IN THE GAME#or if it's meant to goad and prod at trans people instead#who knows? i don't#apparently the game is also shit but is still receiving positive reviews by virtue of it Being Harry Potter because Of Course It Is#i look forward to the hours-long video essays going into the game just to dissect how terrible it is#and going into depth about the political and antisemetic aspect of the game as a whole
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
This semester's summary: existential crisis, existential crisis, existential crisis
#ah and 💸💸💸#so im always good in words compared to action so theory is not bad but my skills is lacking#im aware of it but im always a bit slow to catch up and all and that's one of my biggest insecurity#anyway today we had our last review skills session and i was unfortunately standing nearest to the trolley#so i was selected to do the tracheostomy suctioning and boy thats one of the skills that im really bad in#and i was struggling so bad and im shaking and my group has the top students and while i give no fuck you can see how they judge me#and the person in charge for that section is a master student who is having her assessment and i really dont want her to get bad results#so more panic and insecurity#but throughout the session she still guide me patiently and even say like its okay youre doing great and all#and by the end of it i got the grip of it but i was so upset with myself and regret everything#but then she lightly touch my arm and said its okay youre doing really well when i obviously fucked up#and then i just.. cried#what a good thing i wear a mask because two of my course mates are tested positive today because damn#and i keep on pretending to wipe my glasses when i was actually hiding my tears like damn this is embarrassing#but... i really want to thank her personally but i cant even talk just now and i dont even know if i will meet her again#because i really am doubting myself lately and that word is really comforting and i really needed to hear it#god 2nd year sucks i didnt even cry throughout my first year even when i did the worst presentation of my life and look like a dumbass#i always rant here you guys must be sick of me lol#personal.txt
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok yes loving daisy jones so far bc i did just re read the book today so i’m back in it but my one qualm so far is that daisy is not unhinged like?? i don’t mind what minor plot/story changes they have made so far in fact i like it bc the book is completely told by multiple unreliable narrators that’s the whole point esp with the “plot twist” billy’s version (and daisys to less of an extent but still close to it bc she cared about camilla so she wouldn’t want to hurt julia) of things can’t be believed at all lmaooo so i don’t mind the changes i feel it’s a good way to frame it more real or whatever but my issue is why is Daisy so like put together??? she was insane and off her shit from age fourteen but so far three eps in she’s so ?? composed?? even in daisys unreliable pov of the book she knows she was an addict and a disaster and billy too on the first tour but in the show it’s so toned down maybe for viewer rating sakes? like maybe they can’t show heroin on prime shows idk lmaooo
#i do like it so far tho#i knew there would be A LOt of changes from the source material so i’m not like upset or shocked at what’s different so far#making a show BASED on a book is a whole thing bc u have to market it for ppl who haven’t read it as well it’s not meant to be#like catering directly to readers they have to make it to appeal to the general audience of ppl who have never heard of the book otherwise#they make no money so i get it and even before the early reviews came out i knew exactly what they would say that it veers off from the book#but i just think daisy should have been shown in a more real light she’s so together and sober in the show#not saying i enjoy the fact she was so addicted and a disaster but it was real that’s why ppl loved it bc it’s true that’s how it was like#she is and the book is based on real ppl#also pls don’t take my semi passionate ranting as an endorsement for the author LOL#tjr has stuff i like but not love i don’t think she’s revolutionary or anything close to that#like look at evelyn i loved it for like less that 24 hours i read it in a night and by two days later when the reader high faded i was like#wait actually……#you know?? and even daisy book i was never hooked x that hard when i first read it i was like yeah that was a fun read but also read it in#less than three hours it was just an easy light fun read in my opinion based on the books i gravitate to it was very light#and i reread it today and yes i enjoyed it immensely bc that’s how it was written in a fast paced enjoyable feel things briefly way#but the thing about tjr is i don’t think it was meant to read in a light way bc i see so many ppl like dying emotionally over her books and#i’m just like?? her writing isn’t that ‘deep’ or well tbh good#but it is goood in the way that it’s a good read technical skills aside it is entertaining and i do like a couple of hers#sorry i’m not shitting on her i like her but there are some aspects of her writing/her that i take issue with mainly in evelyn but that’s#another long ass topic/rant#i am a book snob i think LOL i’m sorry i’m i want to make it clear#just bc a book is an easy read doesn’t mean it’s BAD i just read a lot#like 300+ books a year since i was ten and that’s not me trying to flex it’s depressing truly bc i read to escape my fucked up issues#anyway#ummmm#i’m excited for more episodes LOL#i am really i’m loving it so far bc i need to feel something so this helps a bit
1 note
·
View note
Text
Dannys at Wayne enterprise because his parents want to submit their inventions and "scientific" discoverys for official review. He's bored out of his mind and meets this beautiful girl his age and strikes up a conversation with her. (Or he meets a girl and starts to rant like his father.)
Danny: im just saying Orphan has to be a vampire!
????(cass): No.
Danny: Are you kidding me? She moves with far to much elegance and grace to be mortal. Credit to the other bats but they move like mortals. She dances around both rogues and vigilantes!
????(cass): *blushing* No vampire.
Danny: ok maybe not a vampire but like a shadow demon or dhamphir or something! She's to much!
????(cass): orphan. Is. good. What about others?
Danny: oh! stabby robin and red hood are top tier obviously!
????(cass): oh?
Danny: well yeah! Stabby robin practices the art of the sword, a forgotten art in modern times. And red hood shoots pedophiles! Who doesn't like that?
????(cass): Batman.
Danny: well that says something about batman doesn't it. Have you seen the first Robin's outfit? Oof!
*in cass's ear*: Red Robin here. Good job on keeping danny distracted orphan. We're in the process of arresting Danny's parents. Can you keep it up?
????(cass): mhmm. Hey. Cute boy. Take me out to lunch?
Danny: Oh! Yeah! My parents will take hours explaining everything anyway, But uhm. What's your name?
????(cass): call me cass. This is a date, Yes?
Danny: *blushing* oh, uhm, yes. I'm Danny by the way.
Cass: Danny very cute.
Red robin: uhm? You don't have to do that orphan. Hello? ...Please don't make me explain this to B. Orphan?
Batman: Follow. Them.
#cass x danny#dead silent#danny phantom#dpxdc#dp x dc#dc x dp#dcxdp#danny fenton#cassandra cain#dp x dc prompt#batman#fanfiction ideas
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is like. it feels insane to do and i feel like i might just do it for a bit of a break but like. i kinda wanna change my blog theme and url and stuff to be hatchetfeild themed. im still into cs ofc but npmd has meant iv felt myself rly getting back into tht stuff, with finally watching nightmare time and everything and idk. i feel like i associate this current like. aesthetic and phase of my tumblr is smth i associate with a phase in my life when i had someone be a part of it and now they dont want me anymore or ig. its a bit self pitying to say that but they still yk. arent in my life anymore and its hard to not feel a bit sad with how my blog is rn with how much i associate stuff like this with them. idk maybe not my url im very proud of being tuser caruliaa but i think it wld be good for my pfo and blog aesthetic yk. ill change them back to cs eventually (and i also know im not tht active in rly any fandom on here anymore but i do wanna try to be a little esp in terms of like. connecting and talking with others) but i think it cld be a good change. or even like a cs theme thts different yk idk . but cs while smth i loved before and can love after them its also smth i shared with them a lot so i think focusing on smth tht i didnt rly share with them as much at least for a little bit wld be good for me yk while also reclaiming tht interest we did share ofc
#ya idk. also shld go url shopping for a cool hatchetfield one. ik all the miss holloway options r taken tho esp since#okay actually idk if we know her first name yet im part way thru yellow jacket rn but im assuming we dont have one for her#but tht sucks bc i literally love her smm shes the best im so happy abt apparently the next hatchetfield show#is gonna be abt her. i def also wanna start like financially supportive team starkid a bit more with their future projects#like ik they seem like a big groupto us but they rly arent esp comapred to like broadway nd they make like rly quality muscials#tht have proshots avalible for FREE on yt which most big broadway shows dont even have proshots you can pay to watch#theyre obvs not infallible lol but now tht i have like. my own bank account i wanna do things like but the live tickets#for nightmare time 3 and join the kickstarter fr their next show yk. idk thats soo off topic i think i went on tht rant bc the idea tht#they wldnt be able to make a miss holloway musical made me so upset tht im like i need to make sure they can asap#speaking of making sure ppl on yt can make the projects u want them to. go sub to quintion reviews#ik its of topic but if he gets 1mill hell make vids on drake and joash and zoey 101 and like. i wanna see those yk !!!!!#so do it ik a decent amnt of you watch his vid and thought u wehre subbed but arent this is the 5 our victorious yt essay website#anyway sooo of topic i just suddenly remembered tht. the real real point is tht nightmare time is so good#nd tht i wanna make a bit of a fresh start post a heart breaking friend breakup but theyre like. equeally the point honestly#flappy rambles
0 notes
Text
I will buy a tablet but cant decide between the galaxy tab s6 lite & tab s7 fe
#)#the s7 fe has great reviews. is bigger with 12#these two bc i remember someone in my uni group chat recommending the first one#and my friend told me the other day that she has the s7 fe#and the only issue she has with it being that the battery could last longer#s6 lite pros are it's cheaper - i think has a better battery life (samsung says 15 hours of video streaming). good size i think#cons are obv it's a bit older i'd get the 2022 version. it might also be too small i dont know i just dont want it too big (it's 10 (again i#apparently weaker battery life samsung says 13h of video streaming#so uhhhmmmmm i literally dont know which one to get#and i wanna order it today or tomorrow i dont wanna lose too much time & use it at lab as soon as possible#nesi rants
1 note
·
View note
Text
Simon Riley x Reader
Back Door
Summary: Simon wanted to explore more than just your pussy
CW: Anal, ass play/fingering, spanking, praise and degradation, no protection (PLS USE A CONDOM, JUST BC U WONT GET PREGNANT DOESNT MEAN U WONT GET AN STD!!!!!), established relationship (I love bf simon <3), aftercare, vibrator use!!, reader watches porn and gets caught, I don’t go into detail about prep bc I’m not that educated on it but pls use prep before anal intercourse <33
WARNING: BEFORE ATTEMPTING ANAL OR ANAL INSERTION PLEASE USE PROPER LUBRICATION, SPIT IS NOT ENOUGH AND CAN SERIOUSLY TEAR OR PERMANENTLY DESTROY YOUR ANUS RESULTING IN LIFE LONG INJURIES. PLEASE READ THE RISKS AND TAKE PROPER PRECAUTIONS AS WELL AS DOING IMMENSE RESEARCH (NOT PORN) BEFORE ATTEMPTING IT. NEVER LET ANYONE FORCE YOU INTO ANAL SEX, ESPECIALLY WITHOUT PROPER CARE OR THOUGHT.
Masterlist
You had heard mixed reviews on it, curiosity sometimes peaking through you as your girlfriends ranted about how good it feels, how full they felt, how sexually liberated. You were a subject to torture, your mind constantly battling between bringing it up to Simon or not.
Fingers twitched against the XXNX.com browser, horny digits darting between the three letters ‘a’, ‘n’, ‘l’.
Your shorts were undone, wrapped around your rigid ankles, your pointer finger pressed against your swollen clit, running a figure 8 in a quick motion as you watched the woman squeal in pleasure, her ass stretched with the sensation of a cock inside it.
It was taboo. Beyond taboo. It was something always frowned against growing up, always seen as profoundly dirty but maybe that’s what intrigued you.
You moaned in unison to the porn star on screen, her breasts bouncing against the white sheets she was spread out on her, ass flushed in the air as she was pounded to from behind, the man grunting in pleasure before thick ropes of cum spurted from the tight crevice, pooling down her pussy lips as she whined.
You clicked on the next video, not quite satisfied as you groped at your tits, perky nipples peaking through the fabric as you held your knees closer to your chest, feeling your orgasm coiling with desire as your eyebrows scrunched at the delicious sensation.
Simon could hear you. You were never one to be quiet. Pesky thing, he thought, he had only gone to the gym for less than two hours and you were this horny already? Surely him pleasuring you on his tongue earlier was enough, desperate pussy clenching against his muscle as you squashed his face between aching thighs.
He creaked towards the slightly ajar door, taking in your flushed frame, your knees knobbling against your belly as your tits shook with every pleasurable jitter that ran through you. Your pussy squelched as you occasionally ran your fingers through your soaked slit, lapping up any slick to lubricate your throbbing pearl.
Brown eyes darted towards the screen, taking in the dramatic title “HORNY SLUT TAKES FAT COCK IN HER ASS”. He raised a brow, a cocky smirk spreading across his face as he crossed his arms against his burly chest. You were interested in anal? How come you never told him that?
He can tell you were close, the way your hips bucked and soft pants fell from your lips as your actions got sloppier. Such a desperate thing, you were.
Simon cleared his throat right before a moan ripped through your parched lips, your eyes darting in fright as you stared at the intimidating figure watching you at the door.
“Simon? When did you- When did you get home?” You gasped, rushing to pull your soppy panties up as you stumbled to the door, instantly turning off the explicit video you were watching.
“You wanna explain to me what you were watching?” His tone was mocking as he stalked closer towards you, a deep arrogance and knowing lingering through every syllable.
“I- Uh- just stumbled upon it.”
“Hm? That right? So you don’t want me to fuck you in the ass? Treat you like a used slut? You know, like what you were just watching?”
You were lost for words, endless stutters leaving your lips as you tried to make do with what you were attempting to say. You let out a loud huff, pushing past him dramatically as you stormed to the bathroom.
“Aww c’mon baby, at least let me make you cum.”
Simon was enjoying the slow torture, stalking like a predator as he awaited the perfect moment to gnash his jaws across your neck and snap it, taking you as his. His to use, his to breed, his to own.
Maybe it was the way he teased you with his words, lapping seduction through the air just with the pure sultry tone he pronounced each syllable. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, dark eyes flickering with wanton need for you, lashes darting down as he stalked your frame. Whatever it was, it made you crack as you lifted your ass in the air on the bed.
Two fingers dipped into your slick, teasing between your folds as a deep laugh left his lips, a whine escaping yours.
“Stop teasing me,” you hissed, your sheer exposure sending a wave of humiliation through you as a hand spanked down on the fat of your ass, flesh jiggling under his warm touch.
Simon dug in your bedside table, delving through the clutter before rough fingertips felt the plastic ridged bottle. Desperate digits smeared the cool lube against your asshole, teasing the crevice as a quick smirk moved across his lips.
You and Simon had never really experimented with it before, the most being an occasional finger during doggy, but with him really paying attention to it now, it felt so real, so different.
“Relax for me baby,” he cooed, his voice soft as his spare hand rubbed the curvature of your back, comforting you. Your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as you felt him coax a finger in, his already double the size of your own.
He worked another finger in, the tightness coiling around him as he lapped in the slight resistance. You felt a moan leave your lips as his fingers worked a smooth pace, walls clenching around the intrusion.
It was strange… different, but the fullness did something to you.
Simon’s hand wrapped around your throat, pulling you flush against his chest as he worked his fingers inside your back hole, soft pants and whines slipping past your tongue as your eyes fluttered shut, soft murmurs of his name filling the room as he praised you.
“Both holes take me so well, don’t they baby? So fucking good to me.”
“F-Fuck, Simon, I feel so full,” you cried, clenching instinctively around his finger as he smacked your ass in return.
“Think you can handle another?”
You nodded lazily, soaking in the pleasure as he bent you forward slightly, working more lube onto another digit before pressing it into you. He didn’t move for a second, allowing you to grow used to the tight stretch. The pain simmered slowly, your body relaxing at the naturalness of Simon’s touch.
Three fingers worked inside you, careful not to hurt you or go too deep as they focused on working a rhythm, letting you feel the pure pleasure of having another hole stretched by your Greek God of a boyfriend.
“F-Fuck,” you moaned, tongue practically lolled out of your mouth.
“Dirty fucking slut for me, sucking my finger threes in, ain’t you?”
“N-Need more, Si, please.” Your voice was dripping with arousal, eyes rolling back as you hummed at the filling sensation.
Simon grunted in satisfaction, slipping his three fingers out gently, softly rubbing at the puckered hole before he began to undo his pants. You bent over, your ass flushed in the air as you buried your face into the sheets.
You could hear the cap of the Lube bottle opening once more, followed by a continuous squirt of the gel, before more fingers prodded at your hole, working the substance around and into you.
“Baby, before we do this, if you want to stop at anytime, don’t even bother using our safe word, the moment you say stop or no, I’m pulling out. I won’t be mad at you either, this is completely about you. Your pussy’s tight enough for me.”
You nodded resulting in a harsh slap.
“Say you understand,” he snapped.
“Yes, Si, I promise I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”
You could hear the sloppy sounds of lube against his dick, his thick hands working his cock before you felt the mushroom tip line up at your hole. You winced as you felt him push in, his three fingers still not quite enough to make up for the sheer size of him.
Simon paused at the jerk of your body, holding your hips tightly before you whispered out an, “I’m okay, keep going”. Simon worked his thick length in bit by bit, taking his time as he continuously checked up to make sure you were okay.
At 3/4 of his length, Simon relaxed his movements, feeling you clench around him as you whined.
“Such a tight fucking hole, Jesus Christ,” he hissed, his hand coming down on your ass, the subtle print beginning to form.
“Please move, Si,” your voice coming out in short pants as you gripped the sheets, the sound of lube squelching as he began to rock back and forth, working his cock inside you.
Once you seemed more comfortable, your wanton moans filtering through the air, his pace fastened, gripping your hips like a vice as he occasionally spanked your ass, enjoying the way it moved as his hips slapped against the fat at a bruising pace.
“Dirty whore for me, let’s me fuck whatever hole I want.”
“Fucking filthy, takes me so well in her ass.”
“That’s a good slut for me, you love getting your ass filled, don’t you? Say it.”
His movements were quick as he fucked the right crevice, grunts leaving chapped lips as he practically growled out, harsh slaps delivered on your bruised skin, skin he would kiss later.
You were a series of whines and cries, strings of expletives leaving your mouth as your own fingers toyed with your neglected clit, rubbing the delicate bud at a quick pace as you screamed out at the fullness.
“Gonna cum soon,” Simon groaned, his pace growing more sloppy as he began to reach his high, your own fingers working faster against the sensitive bud.
“Come inside me, Si, please, need you to fill me up.”
Your words were practically sent from heaven, rolls of white meeting his vision before he let out a guttural grunt, hot pumps of cum filling you up as you whined at the sensation, your own orgasm quickly following.
You both panted, sweat engraved on your skin as your boyfriend slowly pulled out, cum leaking from the abused hole down to your cunt, both holes clenching around nothing as you collapsed.
You could feel a reassuring hand rub against the heat of your ass, shushing you as you breathed against the cotton sheets.
“Stay here baby, lemme get you cleaned up. You did so well for me.”
If you could take one thing from this experience, you were so glad you got caught watching porn.
WARNING: BEFORE ATTEMPTING ANAL OR ANAL INSERTION PLEASE USE PROPER LUBRICATION, SPIT IS NOT ENOUGH AND CAN SERIOUSLY TEAR OR PERMANENTLY DESTROY YOUR ANUS RESULTING IN LIFE LONG INJURIES. PLEASE READ THE RISKS AND TAKE PROPER PRECAUTIONS AS WELL AS DOING IMMENSE RESEARCH (NOT PORN) BEFORE ATTEMPTING IT. NEVER LET ANYONE FORCE YOU INTO ANAL SEX, ESPECIALLY WITHOUT PROPER CARE OR THOUGHT.
Sorry this is a piece of shit :(((
#evilgwrl#call of duty x reader#141 x reader#simon riley#ghost#ghost smut#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley smut#simon riley x you#simon ghost smut#simon ghost#ghost cod
819 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dynamite and His Player 2
⠀⠀⠀���⠀⠀𓂅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Twitch Gamer!Bakugou x AFAB!Reader
.....
Bakugou glances over at the camera, brows furrowed as he adjusts his headset. "Alright, you extras, get ready to shut the hell up," he growls, his voice laced with annoyance. "She’s real. I’ve got her right here, and she’s playing with me tonight."
You laugh off-screen, causing his chat to explode with reactions. Up until now, they didn't believe a word Bakugou said when he claimed he had a girlfriend. After all, this is the guy known for his explosive reactions when things go slightly wrong. He grumbles, trying to keep his cool, but the slight blush on his cheeks gives him away.
The game loads up, some horror-puzzle co-op that requires a ton of coordination. But while Bakugou’s all business—focused on solving puzzles and surviving—you have other ideas. You’re busy teasing him, wandering off to explore the map, or purposely messing up just to get a rise out of him.
"Can you just—dammit! Will you STOP wandering off?" Bakugou snaps as he watches your character take another detour. "We’re supposed to be working together!"
You grin at the screen, purposely moving your character in circles. "Aw, come on, Suki~ We’re just having fun, right?"
His jaw clenches, and he mutters something under his breath about "not having fun if you keep screwing around." But his viewers are eating it up, laughing at his frustration and flooding the chat with comments like "She's brave for messing with him, LMAO😭😭" and "Bros .4 seconds away from exploding his monitor for the 10 millionth time🪦"
Eventually, he just huffs, slouching in his chair and mumbling, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I’ll just wait here." His expression says he's beyond annoyed, but the hint of a smile peeking through his scowl gives away that maybe, just maybe, he's actually having a little fun too.
Grumpy Twitch Gamer Bakugou Headcanons
...
— Every time he messes up, he narrows his eyes at the camera with that “are you stupid?” glare. Chat spams "IT’S NOT OUR FAULT!” and "WHY R U LOOKING AT US LIKE WE DID THAT??" but he just huffs, “If you idiots weren’t DISTRACTING me…”
— Bakugou’s streaming style is brutally honest—constantly throwing out curses like it’s second nature. If he dies in-game, his go-to is, “How the hell am I supposed to win with this garbage game?!” and he never blames himself, ever.
— He has zero chill. Every so often, he’ll pound the desk so hard that the camera shakes, and one time he punched his mic so fiercely that it cut out, leaving chat in hysterics as he tries to fix it, muttering about “this piece of crap gear.”
— After every gaming session, he gives a review of the game he’s playing—most of which devolve into full-on rants about terrible controls, stupid enemies, and “whoever the hell designed these levels.” At this point, it's an entire essay by the time he's done.
— There are moments when he hits the mute button just to scream or cuss off-mic. Chat sees him red-faced and mouthing words, knowing he’s losing it, which makes them spam laugh emotes to annoy him further.
— Sometimes, when things get really bad, he just simply says "Okay." and goes quiet, leaning in close to the screen with this intense focus. Chat knows that if he’s silent, it’s only because he’s plotting to obliterate whatever got him killed.
— It’s become a running joke with his followers—every time he streams, they place bets on which piece of his equipment he’ll break. He’s replaced his keyboard three times already and had to upgrade his camera stand because he broke the last one during a particularly heated rage quit.
— When he finally beats a level, he acts like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “See? Wasn’t even hard, you just have to not be a dumbass.” Cue the smug smirk.
— Occasionally, in his absolute rage, he’ll end the stream immediately after a loss. One second he’s there, screaming at the game, and then—stream offline.
— Despite all the rage, he’s actually insanely good at gaming. When he goes on a winning streak, chat blows up with admiration, but he barely acknowledges it. “’Course I won—who the hell do you think I am?”
— He has zero patience for backseat gamers. “Oh, you think you could do better? Why don’t you go start your own damn channel, then!” The mods know by now to instantly time out anyone who even hints at suggesting how he should play, and the ban count is astronomical by the end of each stream.
— Occasionally, Bakugou gets so into the game that he goes almost silent, and chat jokes it’s an ASMR session because all they can hear is his intense breathing and muttered curses. “Oi, STOP saying it’s ASMR, it’s not ASMR, you freaks!”
— Loading screens are his worst enemy. Every single time, he glares directly into the camera, arms crossed and seething, ranting about the “stupid long loading times” and how he could’ve “beat the damn game twice by now.” and how "a whole child could've been born by now." Chat watches in suspense because they know the rage is simmering, just waiting to explode.
— If he’s playing a console game, the controller does not have a safe future. He’s thrown it across the room, slammed it on his knee or desk, and even threatened it like, “You’re next, you little piece of shit, keep messing up on me.” He’s gone through so many controllers that his sponsor had to send him extras.
— When he loses in a PvP game, he has 1,001 excuses. “Lag. Dumb luck. Exploiter. The devs nerfed my character, obviously.” If chat calls him out, he just scoffs, “You think that was my fault? Keep dreaming.” And the mods instantly clear out any “L” spam from chat because he’s already dangerously close to slamming his keyboard.
— His channel has special emotes for when he loses his temper—explosion icons, angry Bakugou faces, and even one of his own “ARE YOU FUCKIN’ KIDDING ME?!” face. Chat spams these whenever he starts heating up, which only fuels his fire.
— His viewers love to try and provoke him. Someone will innocently say, “Hey Dynamight, I think you missed something back there,” and he’ll instantly pause, glare at the screen, and say, “I DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING, DUMBASS, WE'RE MOVING ON.” It’s like a game within the game for his followers. (He goes back to check right after.)
— “Easy mode?” he scoffs at the suggestion. “I’d rather throw myself into a fire than play on easy mode.” Even if he’s dying over and over, he’ll never, ever change the difficulty. Chat has tried for months to get him to switch, but he’s stubbornly loyal to “the only real mode” (aka Hard Mode, Nightmare mode or above).
— If he actually wins a match, he’s unbearable. He’ll sit there, grinning and basking in his victory, smirking at the camera with a smug, “And that, extras, is why I’m better than every single one of you.” Cue chat sarcastically clapping.
— He once had a bet with his mods that he’d try to do a stream without cursing or raging. He lasted five minutes before he exploded, screaming, “THIS GAME IS FUCKING RIGGED!” after an unexpected jump-scare. The mods were dying, and he banned half of them out of spite (they were unbanned five minutes later, but still).
— Every time he’s about to start a new game, he’s got this exaggerated, dramatic intro: “ALRIGHT, EXTRAS, prepare yourselves ‘cause we’re about to dominate the shit outta this game. And if I see anyone backseat gaming, you’re banned. Don’t even THINK about telling me what to do.”
— Every now and then, when he dies for the tenth time in a row, he just deadpans to the camera, “I swear to God, I’m deleting my channel after this.” Chat knows he’s bluffing, but they still spam crying emojis like “NOOO PLEASE DON’T” just to mess with him.
— Every so often, when he’s focused on a tough level, he’ll mutter something like, “Okay, maybe you’re not so bad, chat. Don’t tell anyone I said that,” and the comments absolutely blow up with hearts and “WE LOVE YOU, DYNAMIGHT.” He immediately goes red and yells, “Didn’t mean it, idiots!” but it’s too late.
— Once, he rage-quit a game so hard that his entire setup fell silent. He’d punched the desk, and the screen went black. Chat watched in shock as the stream just… cut off. The clip went viral, with an entire 30-minute compilation titled “Every time Dynamight destroyed his setup” He came back the next day, reacted to it, and you already know he gave the video a thumbs down and left a long hate comment.
— His mods convinced him to play a “relaxing, casual game” that was secretly full of jump scares. The first time it happened, he almost flipped his entire desk. He immediately banned half of his mods and told the rest they were “on thin ice.” Chat still laughs about it every time he plays a “cute” game.
#twitch streamer bakugou save us#save us twitch streamer bakugou#🎀・kimmie’s mini fics・🎀#💌・from me to u 💌#˚。⋆୨୧˚ kimmie's my hero academia masterlist#💕・random lil stories・💕#💌・one-shot wonders 💌#🍒・blurb by kimmie・🍒#✧・゚writing from kimmie ✧・゚#💫・diary from bakugou's girl・💫#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#mha bakugou#bakugou x you#bakugou x fem!reader#bakugou x y/n#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugo katuski#my hero academia#mha x reader#mha#boku no hero academia#bnha#boku no hero acedamia#bakugou headcanons#katsuki headcanons#bakugo headcanons
535 notes
·
View notes