#she's straight anyway so :v:
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one of my fave coworkers got really into lovm and watching him discover cr and watching all the clips from the actual campaigns... i'm on fire.
#our mutual friend has seen it already so we're both just. pumped.#anyway i will be here after i tutor my sister in english.#yesterday was valentine's day which i don't celebrate because i'm chronically single but.#i went out to this amazing korean restaurant. we have a large korean area here.#it was so expensive. but so good omg#we had samgyeop i cried#not really just. korean and chinese bbq are the best thing imo#next time we go there we're doing the hot pot#also i went there with my bff who's also single#tbh i won't get into it but it's a whole crush that comes and goes thing but i'm dealing with it.#she's straight anyway so :v:
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「30歳まで売れないとアイドルになれるらしい」 (from cherry magic volume 12 special edition) — english translation
#cherry magic#my translation#ok immediately massive disclaimer there was a bunch of idol fandom+music+fashion terms in here ive never heard of so stuff might be v wrong#pls have mercy i tried my best with whatever info i could find 🙏#also another small t/n for a thing i Do know about . so on pg 4 kurosawa actually says '好きなんだよ' which has no object specifically#so the thing he says he likes depends wholly on context#since he says that straight up first it could be interpreted as him saying 'i like You' which is why adachi goes 'whuh???' and turns red-#-in the next panel for a second anyway before kurosawa clarifies that he means the songs#(but maybe he was backpedaling and was actually saying that he likes adachi at first . hmmmmm)#but yeah i couldnt find any good way to actually make that work in english so i thought ill have it in the tags at least#i wonder if sensei will continue this AU like she did wizardsawa that would be cool.... theres so much potential
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To soothe the pain, love, while I don't believe the Doctor - that is 1-12, the others might - ever SAID 'I love you' to River, I am convinced they taught her Gallifreyan just so she'd understand they kept tracing 'I love you' onto the back of her hand at random moments
Awwh! :’) I love the idea of the Doctor randomly tracing Gallifreyan on her skin to express all the things that they can’t say! I’d sort of thought River knew Gallifreyan instinctually with it on the TARDIS screens, but with her connection to the TARDIS being so inherent, maybe there’s no need.
…but now I’m imagining River recognizing (with their lives out of order), that the shapes he’s tracing are Gallifreyan circles. And maybe she’d connect the dots and study Gallifreyan on her own. And then she would understand what he’s writing — and start to take it wrong that he’s writing it but doesn’t have the guts to actually tell her, and she would overthink forever but not actually ask him…
Until the Doctor notices asks why she’s being cold — and then she tells him — and he says he thought she already knew—
(Crying and hugging ensues.)
#I’m a simple woman I like crying and hugging#sure the doctor avoids addressing what he’s writing as they cry and hug. but it’s matter of fact. it’s of course.#You aren’t wrong ��� the Doctor is a bundle of issues and terror of vulnerability 😭#random tracing of ily is canon to me now ty#maybe she traces back sometimes. maybe they have slow intimate conversations#11 can’t stay still but with River he doesn’t have to run. he can take it slow.#nonverbal and slow#🥰🥰🥰this is v soothing🥰🥰🥰#on such veins I ALSO wish the Doctor and yaz had a mysterious whisper moment while eating ice cream so we could DREAM#fast forward to fourteen gushing love#anyway Moffat may keep his secrets but unfortunately#RTD did straight up ruin the speculation energy by saying tentoo said ily in Doctor Who Confidential…#BUT tentoo isn’t quite the Doctor. it could very well be his Donna half (human half) to be blamed for that#ten intentionally timed his environmental destruction aka burning up a sun to avoid saying ily#(me rambling all this as someone who voted that he said ily to all of them on my own poll)#river song#words by seaweed
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I don't think this is Moe's first offense (saying something brazen/flippant) but I do think it's the first time it's called the King a bitch. And it won't be the last! The funniest part of Anna being the one to take charge and chew Moe out is that it gives Moe the opportunity to do The Exact Same Thing to Alfonse one-on-one (you know... to test the waters... to see how he feels about it....). Which it is. Also promptly chastised for.
FAVE PANELS...
#fire emblem#feh#moe really is. a type of guy. it immediately gets scared when anna first corrects it. so what does it do? dig the hole deeper. double down.#THAT REALLY IS MOE'S BRAVE FACE.... playing dumb or getting oppositional. sometimes both.#but it is NOT confrontational... epitome of i'm just a little birthday boy. EXTREMELY annoying type of guy LMFAOOO#i feel like anna has been v patient w moe up until this point. like this has to be a three strikes you're OUT situation.#and both alfonse/sharena have been such hard working straight and narrow types that. they have never seen anna like that.#I REALLY THINK. it's like. anna is The Literal Commander Of A Military Unit and also given her background#more or less she could have been killed for having an attitude like that. hypothetically. we don't know her background. BUT THEORETICALLY..#i like to imagine it does come from a place of that though.#also moe may be an authority hating shithead but it does VERY quickly come to respect anna actually.#you have to Earn it. be Worthy of it. it sees that anna is extremely capable and skilled and fair. it respects that.#so like... i think it genuinely doesn't want to upset or disappoint her. however... it does have ... moe tendencies.#anyways even though i'm in between a dozen things i just had to draw this out and i'm so happy i did tbh#i don't really know how anna feels about moe. but it IS extremely funny to imagine moe is just torn asunder by her at one point#AND. IT FULLY DESERVED IT. it is taking the L here.#ALSO THE FACT THAT ALFONSE IS PISSED TOO. IT'S SO FUNNY TO ME. moe you just fucked up big time#IT WAS TRYING. TO BE NICE. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#fe alfonse#sharena#fe anna#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics#also that is. a whole other comic. moe committing the offense again and getting sternly corrected#until it's like ooooohhh. wait. you actually respect your dad... okay. um. let me think of something else to say#LMFAOOO... i think third time's a charm. it doesn't dare say that to sharena. what if she cries. moe is also gonna cry. and thrup
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Forever mad that the Anita Blake series wasn’t about the adventures of Edward and Anita, platonic life partners, killing things and being so weird about each other >:/
#like we got one book in obsidian butterfly but it’s not enough!!!#laurelll k Hamilton i will n e v e r forgive you for straight up ruining your series#i love Anita and edward!!! i think they should be bffs forever!!!#i stopped reading after the series turned into gotta catch ‘em all: Anita’s harem addition#so if they ever bone? do not tell me. i do not see it 😔#he’s an amoral hit man and she is his only real friend in the world!!#she’s a good person with a moral compass and he’s got no conscience but she likes him anyway!!!#Alexa play we could’ve had it all by adell#vrrm vrrm#sorry for the rant I remembered the books exist and got mad all over again lol
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#don't you just. fucking. l o v e. it when the first thing in the morning#your d e a r mother does is make you so confused irritated and upset all at once#and has the fucking gall to say “this hurts you more than it hurts me”#and when you start crying#she does what she always does and says “go on keep crying as if that solves anything”#and even when your dad tries to step in she doesn't stop being the utter worst#so you breakdown and she doesn't even realise what the fuck she said and why you got so confused and upset to begin with#and now that everything's over she still hasn't even thought of saying sorry#and thinks that food will make it better#so you're sat at your desk studying but your emotional numbness is just worse than ever#you just feel tired and want to go back to bed but know that you need to get straight As for your dreams to be a reality#so you chug on and tell your dad you're fine and you'll get better over the course of the day#but you know that that's not going to happen and it'll only go away when you wake up the next day#but no one ever cares about the reality of your horrible mental state#so you just go on anyway#yeah#me too.
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akali being a pr disaster once again <3
#love that for her#like. i’ve always imagined kda trying to teach her how to answer reporters better bc she’s also carrying the grp’s rep w her#but the ‘dont fuck with me’ attitude would never truly leave her#she’s v e r y direct and straight to the point#but methinks she’s seen ahri or eve angry before#so their ‘oh? talking shit about me/someone i care about?’ biting way of answering some interviewers would rub off on akali a little#but anyway….. theres a reason why she vibes so well with td#theyre just so unapologetically THEM. i love it#stares at prism’s reply to that one reporter ask#qi 🤝 kali; telling reporters to fuck off#FNAKDNAKKA#mun
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tatimaxxing (something big just happened to me but i can't talk about it on this blog because ive posted face)
#my friend's in the hospital again so i spent 20 on an uber with my other friend to go see her#but by the time we got there visiting hours were over 😭#so we just had dinner at the park#and i told her about The Big Terrible Thing for the first time#straight through without embellishment! yay! i think at least#because ive retold the story in so many different ways that im not actually sure what happened anymore#she was like super chill about it though!! and was like im really impressed that you actively made an effort to not be [REDACTED]#not really what she said more like Making An Effort to No Longer [Redacted]#redacted as an action not as a noun blah blah you know#and she told me about how shes faced discrimination at our super homogeneously chinese church which i feel REALLY BAD ABOUT BUT I DON'T KNOW#HOW TO EXPRESS IT TO HER OR WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT 😭😭😭😭 GIRL HELP#im being so useless and chinese about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i don't know how to talk to people about things that matter#and idk like ok v non-tatimaxxing of me to say but ive been so self centered and going Wahhh these normies will never experience my#Deep Secret Emotions unlockable only by spending too much time on tumblr as a child#on the other hand i feel like once this has gotten out of the way i don't really have an excuse for not connecting with my church friends#yknow. like i don't have to hide this from them any more#they're great people!! and they're going through so much and I need to be there for them but I couldn't even get tothe stupidhospital on tim#not cry typing just ran out of space#anyway I wish I could care more about them I wish I could make genuine connections without having to lie to feel some sort of weird#rush of power over them because I know the truth and they don't when I lie so much I don't even know what the truth is#I've been putting my face on here more lately because I want to be genuine and I want to not hide things#but idk if it'll work I think it might just make me unemployable 😭😭😭#cc diary
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i was just talking about my favorite professor from undergrad who taught me queer lit?? and so i decided to email her to catch up and in the middle just dropped the bomb that i’ve since come out as bi and i spun it as a joke and was like “haha if i could go back in time i’d probably write a v different final essay for your class!!”
anyway i am literally shaking lol why did i do that 😂😂
#i loved her i definitely had a baby queer crush on her and just did NOT understand what was happening#she was this tiny butch lesbian who was like a head shorter than me and was just#so cool and i loved hanging out and talking with her#and once we had a v awkward late night convo at like??? 1:30AM when she emailed me asking me to stop by her office#and it was basically her fretting if i’d skipped out on her office hours one day bc of any perceived feelings on her part#which was not the case i skipped out on the hours bc i had pulled a procrastinator asshole move and not read the book yet#anyway i got v flustered bc i was trying to lie about having not read the book#and i think she got v flustered bc she was worried that i was some straight girl having a panic moment about her#(to this day i don’t know if she DID have feelings and that’s why she was worried?? or if she was just concerned i was misunderstanding)#(i can honestly say my mind had never gone there at that point)#(but i CAN say for years now I’ve been like ‘ok but??? DID SHE??’ mainly bc. again. i was OBSESSED with her )#kat is bi
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ANYWAY now that ive gotten my firefly rant off my chest and on a more positive note about the story overall; i Really liked it!!!! and character-wise specifically the biggest surprise for me in a huge W way was actually acheron??
& given i was actually somewhat committed to pulling her anyway (well. initially as kafka replacement to pull my first lightning carry after losing 50-50 but. Well. she had mercy on me at the v last moment thank goodness 😭😭) so actually ending up liking her character this much just cemented that resolve for good too. cant wait for her!!! like i am still meh on her base design not bc its that bad by itself but simply bc seeles existence just cheapens it so much like. Why are they so similar. but its not bad lmao
anyway to her actual characterization. first of all. the VAs delivery omg yall beidous english voice is already one of my all time favorites in genshin and shes doing an amazing job as acheron like. she started talking and im just INSTANTLY warmed up to her just from that KDJSKDKJK i love love love her attitude and energy!!!!!
n personality wise too??? like ive seen others mention a similar sentiment but its just the way how. even after getting the warnings from now Two separate characters that shes up to no good. im just like. "nah id win" abt it SHSKDKSI like throughout the story she comes off as so damn likeable and grounded and realistically friendly (as in not like. too open n aligned w the player from the get-go to feel believable for the character as opposed to a plot contrivance) that i just. even if shes bad news im team acheron truly.
she has genuinely funny one liners too ??? like not necessarily jokes outright but the kinda comments she says are just . very realistic in that dry witty way that comes off as natural and entertaining shes so charming!!! i love her. the more contemplative stuff she says too
but also like. girl whats up w the ominous red text ily but are we cool 😭😭 and the whole shredding us into thin slices on first encounter in the dreamscape like. Ok uhhhhhhhh ik i said nah id win and team acheron forever but this is kinda. worrisome
BUT that just means im so fucking excited to see her go apeshit too lmao like. oh shes an emanator here to do murder and spread death? COOL i hope she has fun!!
(and ik i said firefly rant over but. what the actual hell is that post firefly merk dialogue option where the games like very heavy handedly implying ur supposed to be blaming ACHERON for "letting it happen" in some emotional frenzy???? bro what 💀💀 0/5 moment i would never. n even if she plausibly did im just. dude her being cold towards firefly is just a plus for me when the narrative has just railroaded the TB into being sooo charmed by her magical presence lmao i Liked that acheron was suspicious n cold)
overall Definitely wasnt expecting acheron to establish herself as such an instant favorite for sure but. shes here now and im v happy abt it im super looking forward to seeing those more dubious goals of her come to the forefront in the future like. im so curious about whats up w her and her memory and that red text and everything
#also honestly unintentionally hilarious moment from acheron when she jist. asks for directions to the lobby too 😭😭😭😭#anyway. overall i wonder if theure like. making a point of setting up the 'suspicious' characters to turn out far more benign#than appears at first glance#and have the more like. omg friendly people. turn out more involved in the shady stuff#like to a degree it already happened with aventurine. whole time everyones playing up how shady he is but#ultimately he really didnt do that much in terms of actually harming us? he was surprisingly straight (lol. lmao) w us throughout#like Obviously hes acting in full self interest but i do overall v much agree w black swans assessment of him too#that as a businessman it does matter how he handles his deals. now obviously he could turn out a whole lot different in the future#but nonetheless. point being he wasnt all that nefarious compared to how he was presented as#whereas both acheron and (sigh) firefly do kinda have that initial friendliness and then later on turn out to be#Not what they seem . which isnt like a twist or anything its just interesting#tho i suppose its less whos more or less trustworthy at first glance and more just. everyone lies on penacony#just depends on what their aims are to truly know whether they stand in opposition w us ultimately#acherons strange bc like of the cast rn. truly would trust her the most just based on vibes . which might not be smart 💀💀#logically the most quote unquote trustworthy are swan n aventurine methinks . swan bc she said she wants more of my memories for her stash#so she wants us alive on both a personal basis and as a memokeeper#n aventurine bc he sees us as his own investment in whatever gamble hes undertaking#so cold as it is. we are very valuable to those 2 as assets so like they might hide things n mislead but they dont want us dead lol#anyway v much looking forward to the future developments#hsr#rambles#hsr spoilers
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reminder to myself to find and upload the article about the gendered enlightenment/scientific reason vs superstitious persecution in Carmilla and it’s resulting ambiguously supernatural narrative because. it’s so formative to the way I think and write about ds lmao it needs to be on some kind of blog syllabus.
#carmilla ... but written by dr hoffman instead of dr hesselius. when she eventually writes that book she was supposed to be doing.#more than anything anything else carolyn's death scene in hods is a PERFECT echo of carmilla's slaughter.#framed in that perfect condemnatory v of the male head of household figure surrounded by militant police – where carolyn's overall sin is#not lesbian transgressive female desire but incestuous (even though she's still a lesbian in my heart)#like ! i don't know. vampires real true they are both metaphorical AND literally going to suck ur blood. same with phoenixes.#but there's a lot there to .. consider. many fractured reflections of cut crystal rather than a pane of glass? you hear me?#➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous,she’s hysterical,and she’s exhausted.#i think... this is true particularly at the end of arcs where the threat is vanquished. things are always rather abrupt in a way#that leaves me reeling a tiny bit and not always in a conclusion that's ... certain beyond all doubt? there's often some little qualifier.#or you hear it relayed back to the family. collinses noted always for their truth telling to their own clan! esp when making their own myth#and i always ALWAYS think the obfuscating that goes on between 1795 and the 60's. joshua concealing the nature of his son and#of his wife's death. barnabas choosing to retell the josette myth in a way that favors him and his desire.#the way institutions like the hospital or windcliff or laura's sanitarium in phoenix are resting on an uneasy boundary between#straight medicine and superstitious practice –– often as a tool to suppress supernatural wrongdoing or a bandaid to fix it.#and what makes the link to carmilla so compelling to me is that the Studied Experts are the ones with the supernatural knowledge that#makes them so certain in their course. characters like julia ; stokes ; even dr. guthrie –– all accredited ! all very bright !#and in a similar vein the endless quest for the Logical Explanation is seen as (somewhat rightfully) silly – i.e. roger's stubbornness#in refusing to buy into the time travel – witches – laura as reincarnated phoenix – etc etc#when We Know the monstrous truth and he's clinging to a silly fancy of logic – of reason.#anyways am i making sense. i fear not.#compels me though
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My generally accepted canon for Marian and V*rric’s relationship is that there’s a mutual dislike, and they really only hangout bc they’re in the same friend group
But sometimes I wanna indulge in a Spite AU where Marian hates him, but V*rric is ignorant to this and thinks they’re friends who agree on everything
Just so he can be completely blindsided when she falls for Sebastian and chooses to be with him in Starkhaven over staying in Kirkwall with her “friends”
#sometimes you just need to indulge in the salt y’know#like the idea of v*rric priding himself on being able to read people but he fundamentally misunderstands his so called best friend#ig this is more fanon v*rric but like#him just not understanding why Hawke would prefer to stay in uptight snobby Starkhaven#over Kirkwall?? the greatest city ever where she met all her best friends??#ignoring that the worst things that ever happened to her happened while she lived in Kirkwall#anyway I’m just venting#one of my discord buddies pointed out how I’ve gone from liking v*rric to straight up hating him in a matter of two years lol
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actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then
#i think its bc a) when i came out at like 15 everyone was super surprised so i assumed ppl still found it unexpected even now#+ b) im not super aware of social cues generally (autism) so dont tend to pick up on stuff like that unless its explicitly said#+ also c) ive never felt like i physically appear very conspicuous bc i dont have any piercings/tattoos/never dyed my hair etc#i only cut my hair short relatively recently too..... so idk i just assumed i blended into the background for everyone#but now im interacting with ppl outside of my tighter social circle more often ive become more aware-#of how ppl might perceive me. or rather ive become aware of just how UNaware i am of how ppl might perceive me#and its really funny how many odd interactions ive had in the past suddenly make sense if u assume the other person clocked me as gay#like strangers that have gotten flustered around me that might be bc i was giving off strong dyke vibes etc#the other day i was in a bookstore and the guy behind the counter was very stiff + quiet until i replied to smth he said and suddenly he-#became way more animated + started talking to me more casually + that was the first time i realised i probably sound gay as fuck#like i think i kinda have a stereotypical gay mannerism/lilt to the way i talk... no wonder i used to get called a fag so often lmfao#or like i remember trying to find a lab partner in 3rd yr of my degree + i had to do it on call only bc of covid + there were a bunch-#of us with similar lab interests but it got sorted SO fast bc this one other student seemed to gravitate immediately towards me#and i remember thinking afterward that it was odd how quickly we resolved that. esp bc we didnt even meet it was just voice call#anyway yeah i found out she was a dyke much later but i think maybe she clocked me straight away bc of how i sound....?#and that was why she warmed to me so quickly... but god i remember debating for ages with my ex abt whether she was gay or not#like my gaydar is truly terrible i suck balls at picking up on cues so its funny that to some people im reeking signals#also i met up with an ollldddd old friend last week + 30 secs in she was like oh fuck you must use different pronouns now#gesturing to Me. like oh..... im visibly gnc......? or maybe behaviourally???? idk. also shes v femme which made me realise that-#i rly do come across kinda masc/butch nowadays. even tho ive never really thought abt it that deeply before or made an effort to#i mean yeah i do identify along those lines but ive never directly considered how to flag that to other people etc im just doing me baby#ANYWAY this has been a rly long ramble idr what point i was getting at but just find it fascinating to think abt how im read in public#bc im just genuinely so unaware of it. its weirdly rly validating to find out that im automatically recognised as dykey + a little masc#boosted my confidence a lot as well tbh ive felt rly comfortable in myself lately. partly also cuz im getting a little muscular ;^)#ANYWAYYYYYY enough of all that i need to go sleep if youre reading this ily goodnighttt xoxo#.diaries
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Once I went to pick up a friend from his work and his workmates asked him if I was his girlfriend the following day. That's how he came out at the workplace, after years. By just saying "oh, no. I'm not really into girls". Maybe you could "create" a somewhat similar situation? Good luck!
hahah thats normally how i like to do it, i want it to come up naturally because i feel super awkward trying to conjure up a situation to tell people! I will cross my fingers for that kind of a reason to bring it up
#like i already know she's cool about trans folks and such which is a good sign bc#we don't live in the most bustling metropolis of forward thinking folks but she never misgenders the trans patients and is accepting#so im like thats a good sign etc#anyways i didnt even think of her in any romantic interest way at first but after a while i just really started liking her personality and#i think shes v kind and cool and chill and checks a lot of good boxes so#i wouldnt mind at least finding out if she's gay#also i am only working with her for 1 year so at least it wouldnt be an inifinitely awkward workplace situation if things didnt work out#when i shot my shot#i keep thinking about how i told her i used to have a crush on one of the male patients when i knew him as a kid and wishing i didnt say#that now bc thats like the only thing ive ever said about my preferences to her but it was just like a grade 7 crush#not like a real actually would date him crush#but for all she knows about me so far im just straight probably#anyways my new mission is to be more obviously gay without feeling cringe and forced about it wish me luck#ask#anon#p
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a colleague of mine used to be a professional athlete in the 80s and today she showed me and another colleague photographs from back then and she casually mentioned that two of her team mates outed themselves as trans men and two as lesbians later in life and i was like !!!!!! im
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#i want to write more but im not sure what im feeling and how to express it#she used the phrase 'man in a woman's body' to mean they are trans man which i found v good actually#bc she seemed to fully except and support them. these guys and dykes should be in their late 50s now i think? idk any older queer ppl#so having an older colleague casually mention that felt v good#also they all were from a small town i think#just like me!!! i know several of my high school friends are also queer. like. me and at least 2 others#but we all outed ourselves way later. years after high school#oh fuck i just realized i completely misspelled 'accept'. i've had a long week ugh#anyway tomorrow i gotta make a horrible phone call w my broken phone and i already hate it and i'm dreading it#abt my phone. it doesn't charge anymore so i have it turned off at all times so i can make phone calls when the urgent need arises#and tomorrow i have to call electrician. not bc i want to but bc i was ordered to and i absolutely fucking hate it#*an electrician. or a janitor. idk yet#the other person who could call instead of me is just straight up rejecting to do it but it rly urgently needs to be Done#so im gonna have to step up as the mature person now and i tell myself 'it needs to be done end of discussion'#but i hate that i am always always always the person who has to take care of uncomfortable things like making phone calls and shit#like. i get it. it's necessary. there will always be phone calls i have to make. it's just. why me??? i fucking hate this shit!!! AAAAAAAHHH#anyway i should go to bed. i haven't checked my notifs yet it's been a rly exhausting week. hope you guys are ok thi#*tho
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oh i am being SO brave right now.
#shut up danni's talking#i just saw the BIGGEST spider and it was RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED#like literally within a few centimeters of my mattress#i had moved my pillows to the other end bc reasons and it was so quiet#and then i hear little movement noises and look down in the crack and BAM there it is#so obvs since its in such an inconvenient place i grab the bug killer and spray it for like 5 minutes straight#totally gassed my room but i think i killed it#only problem is that i'm too scared to get rid of the dead spider#edit: i texted my mum she managed to be awake bc she was watching bridgerton lol she got rid of it for me#i love her v much#anyways bug killer i love you. you are my best emergency panic spider killer i'll never leave you
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