#she's past that? let's have her fall in love with Julian and get stabbed

[doverstar]

the writers killing Caitlin Snow offscreen is about to become my supervillain origin story

[casspurrjoybell-17]

HEART'S BLOOD - CHAPTER 38

*Warning: Adult Content*  

‘I must be dying. I’m hallucinating, at least.’

Alpha Dane Hunter leans over Julian Hart, brushing strands of dirty wet hair from his face. 

The handsome detective’s lips are moving but Julian ears can’t process his words, just like his eyes can’t quiet believe what he sees. 

Finally Julian’s senses clear a little and his lunges unfreeze. He draws a shaky breath and blinks back tears.

“Julian,” Dane says, shaking him gently. 

“Julian, can you hear me?”

“You’re a vision,” Julian reaches up, entranced, brushing his fingertips across Dane’s lips. 

“A vision or...” his voice fails and his brows tighten with concern. Dane catches Julian’s hand in his.

“I’m not a vision, Julian. I’m here. I’m really here.”

“But you... the bomb...” 

Julian’s head is swimming in confusion and every heartbeat pierces him with a painful stab of hope.

“Shit. You weren’t suppose to hear the news report,” Dane’s voice cracks with regret as he touches the side of Julian’s face. 

“I needed Henry to believe it was sage to start the hunt and that he wouldn’t be interrupted. We needed to catch him and the Montaines in the act and I need time to contact the Fey Court. It just took so much longer than I hoped.... But I’m here now, Julian,” Dane says squeezing his hand. “I’m here.”

Finally, Julian believes him. 

For a moment he can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think. 

He feels trapped like a fly caught in amber, locked in a single shard of time, transfixed by the sharpest joy he’s ever felt.

‘I grab for him, pulling him to me and holding fast, shaking so much I think I may come apart.’ 

‘My pain fades as I lose myself in the solid strength of his body, the smooth warmth of his skin, the sweet deepness of his voice... all the things I love and that I thought I would never touch or see or hear again.’

“Hey, hey, shhh, Julian. Stop, it’s okay,” Dane mummers, holding him in his arms. 

“I’m here. I’m real,” he continues to reassure Julian, until at last he quietens, although he continues to cling to him with all his feeble strength. 

Finally, Dane pries Julian off him and lays him down in the grass.

“Dane... Freya and Noah?” Julian gasps, remembering the others and tries to rise again but falls back beneath the gentle press of Dane’s hand.

“Try not to move, Julian,” Dane says quietly. 

“They’re fine. It’s you who is hurt.”

“We’re right here, Juju,” Freya says and Julian realizes she is kneeling at his other side, Noah with her. 

She holds her hand to her ribs but Julian doesn’t see any blood, except for her torn ear.

“George?” Julian asks but Freya shakes her head, lips press together in a grim frown.

“Ian’s with him, but he’s gone. He must have shaken off whatever Henry gave him and did his best to slow him down. But he was no match for that monster. None of us were... not on our own.” 

Freya looks past Dane to the two figures, who hang back silhouetted against the moon-bright sky at the edge of the hollow.

“Who are they?” Julian asks, swallowing sick feeling and a taste of blood at the back of his throat.

“Representatives of the Fey Court,” Dane says, distractedly as he examines the puncture wounds left by Henry Foley. 

“Fuck. These are bad. Freya, can you stop the bleeding?”

“Let me see.”

Freya leans over Julian and he bites back a sound of pain as she checks the wounds. 

Then she sits back and shakes her head, tears shining wet on her cheek.

“It’s too much,” she says softly. 

“Dane... We’ll never get him out of here in time.”

“Don’t say that,” Dane snaps. 

“We’ll get him out and he’ll be fine. You hear me, Julian. You’ll... be fine,” Dane says the last part of these words softly, fingers tracing Julian’s lips and the sides of his face.

“Dane...” Noah says, leaning in and touching his brother’s shoulder. 

“He’s bleeding out. He has minutes. You should say whatever you want him to hear before...”

“No,” Dane yells and shoves Noah away and there’s a wild wolfish snarl at the base of his voice. 

“I won’t let him. Not like this. Not now when he’s finally mine. Not...”

“Dane stop,” Julian says pulling Dane’s hand to his lips and kisses it. 

“Just let me look at you. Just let me...”

Julian couldn’t remember what he was going to say and suddenly he was very tired. 

He doesn’t hurt anymore and he feels almost warm but it’s taking him everything to stay awake. 

Dane shakes him and he realizes he had closed his eyes. 

Julian opens then again with an effort as Dane turns and looks over his shoulder at the two figures that stand at his back.

“Can’t you do something?” Dane says, his voice raw with desperation. 

“Can’t you help him?”

Julian tries to focus at the two tall figures as they approach but the night seems much darker than it did a moment ago and he can barely make them out. 

From what Julian can see, they seem like a study in opposites.

 One has pale skin and shining dark hair the other has dark skin and cascade of silvery braids. 

The pale Fey representative speaks and his voice is smooth and mellow with a musical quality and a slight lilt.

“You spoke the truth, wolf,” he says to Dane, leaning over to look at Julian. 

“He is one of ours. Fey, though not pureblood.” 

The other Fey representative draws near and speaks with a softer, feminine tone. 

“You know that matter not, Ban,” she says. 

“He is Fey and it is our duty to help our own.”

“As you say, Mala,” Ban agrees, standing to speaks to Dane. 

"We will do our best to save his life but we can not do so here. We must take the young Fey with us and return to our own Realm.”

Dane Hunter nods and starts to lift his wounded Fey lover but Ban stays his hand.

“You should understand,” he says. 

“Time is different there. We may restore him and return in a day but for you a day, a month or many years may pass before you see him again.”

“I’ll come with you,” Dane says firmly but Ban shakes his head.

“No,” Ban says. 

“It is not a place for you. We will take the young Fey but you must stay behind.”

Dane’s hands tighten on Julian’s arm.

“No. I won’t leave him,” Dane insists. 

“I can’t...”

“Dane,” Julian voice is barely a whisper and Dane’s face twists with anguish as he leans closer to hear him. 

“It’s okay you can let me go.”

Dane swallows hard, nods and releases his grip on his boyfriend’s arm. 

The pale Fey, Ban kneels and lifts Julian in his arms with an ease that make him feel like like he must weigh nothing at all.

“We should hurry,” he says. 

“He doesn’t have much time.”

The Fey, Mala looks around at the hollow and the tumble of stones.

“This is a place of power. It is little wonder he was drawn to it. We can return from here.”

Dane stays close and Freya and Noah follow as the two Fey walk towards the time-worn ruins of rock. 

Julian hears Ian Foley’s voice as he joins them.

“What’s going on? Who are these people?”

“They’re Fey,” Noah says quietly. 

“They’re taking Julian.”

“Taking him where?” Ian demands. 

“Why?”

“He’s hurt. They can help him,” Freya says, though she sounds unsure as she reaches over to squeeze Julian’s arm. 

“You come back to us, Juju, you hear me?” she says wiping away tears. 

“No running off to live in faerie-land. You promise.”

“We will return him... either way,” Ban says. 

“If we can use this place, there is a better chance that time will align more closely between this world and ours but we must go now while we can.”

“Julian... Wait.” Dane whispers, leaning close and kissing Julian’s brow. 

“I’ll be here... waiting. I promise.”

Julian Hart nods once and the Fey turn and walk towards the two largest of the boulders. 

Mala stands between them and raises a hand, palm outward, moving in a slow rainbow-like arc. 

A sort of shimmers appears in the air in between the two great stones, like a veil of half-visible water, thin and clear. 

Mala and Ban walk through bearing Julian with them and then the young Fey/human falls asleep.

[longing-and-heartache-and-lust]

the drug, the dark, the light, the flame, Ch.II

[previous] [next] [Ao3]

A second chapter for my work for this year’s @geraskierbigbang with the wonderful @gen-syz-art as my artist ✨

_________________

When Geralt wakes up in the morning, the sun is already high in the sky.

The bed is wide and comfortable, probably the most comfortable out of all the ones he'd ever slept in. The soft furs are a pleasant warmth against his bare skin and when he opens his eyes, he feels the most rested he'd been in a very long time.

It's long past breakfast and he feels a stab of guilt somewhere in his gut, seeing that he'd promised Julian he was going to join him but as it turned out, he was much more tired than he thought. The long weeks on the Path, the hunt the day before and the wounds on his shoulder have all worn him out, and it's only now that his body had finally caught on.

Geralt stretches with a soft moan, careful not to disturb his shoulder, and turns to his other side, looking around the room with heavy-lidded eyes.

In the warm light of the summer sun, it doesn't feel strange anymore.

The golds and reds of the interior make the room feel comfortable, even though it's a little too much for Geralt's taste. The room feels luxurious and Geralt can't even phantom the cost of the heavy velvet curtains or the paintings in golden frames but yet, it doesn't feel like too much .

It doesn't feel like a bedroom in a castle, where its only real purpose is showing the guests just how rich the host is. It feels like a bedroom of a home that someone loves and decorates accordingly. It just so happened that said home is an enormous mansion.

Geralt counts twelve pillows and cushions on the bed, all of them a deep ruby colour and varying in sizes, and, against his own better judgement, burrows himself deeper into them, his entire body melting into the soft silk sheets.

It's the exact opposite of what he should do, he knows it. He knows that this is not meant for him, that he's not supposed to pass the time in beds like this, burrowed in what probably are the best furs in the entire region, but somewhere deep in his bones, his body still aches with exhaustion and stress, and if he can have this, just once in his life, he's going to take it.

He just doesn't have it in him to deny himself this opportunity.

And Roach, he tells himself, needs a little more rest, too.

The forest behind the giant arc-shaped windows is tranquil, the wind a soft, calming whisper through the treetops, and Geralt doesn't even notice when he falls asleep again, warm and comfortable.

***

The second time he wakes, the sun is at its zenith, so it must be around midday.

Cursing under his breath, Geralt makes himself sit up on the bed and then get out of it completely, though very reluctantly. He'd never really had problems with getting out of bed, even when he was still an adept in Kaer Morhen and had to get up before sunrise every morning, and now this unfamiliar gravity feels strange but not unpleasant.

As he dresses, there is a knock on the door, and when he opens it, there is a tall man waiting in the hallway. Geralt can tell that he is in his fifties but the formal suit and perfect posture make him look younger.

"Master Witcher," he greets. "I hope I have not disturbed you. Master Julian asked me to take you into the dining room once you have woken up."

The majordomo, Geralt thinks.

He nods, saying that he needs a few minutes, and goes back to his armour, tightening all the straps and clasping the buckles, once again feeling a little twist of guilt for not having joined Julian in the morning, as he'd promised. It was plain rude of him, really, and though there weren't a lot of things that Geralt hated more than apologising, he knew he'd going to have to.

After all, there was only so much he could do.

He fixes the swords behind his back and looks around the room just one more time before stepping out of it and closing the door. It's almost upsetting that he'd only got to spend one night in a bed like that.

The majordomo takes him through the corridors and with the warm light streaming through the windows, they don't look ominous anymore, though the witcher still finds them absolutely endless. There are paintings, sculptures and potted plants along the walls, and though Geralt tries not to, he still finds himself looking around a little more than he should.

When they do finally reach the dining room with a big oil painting hung on one of the walls right across from the table, Julian isn't there.

"He must be outside," the butler says, turning around. "If you would follow me, master Witcher."

When the man walks past him, Geralt can feel his medallion hum against his chest but it stops just as abruptly, so he frowns but doesn't pay it much mind.

They take one of what Geralt assumes are many doors to the garden and it's only now that he realises how big it is. What he'd seen last night was but a fraction.

The trees and neatly shaped bushes surround the mansion from all sides, keeping it separated from the forest behind the gates, and it almost feels like a world of its own, independent from the one outside.

Geralt's senses immediately fill with the scent of blooming flowers and ripe fruit, the sound of bird songs and running water somewhere in the distance. A fountain, he decides.

And then, among those sounds, there's Julian's voice.

"Geralt," he smiles, appearing from somewhere behind the corner, a hand over his eyes to protect them from the sun. "I see you've already met Arthur."

"I have," the witcher nods, realising belatedly that he should've asked the majordomo's name himself.

Fuck, he thinks, I am not made for this kind of life.

"I hope you can forgive me for not having joined you for breakfast," he adds and he feels ridiculous , talking this way, but in a place like this, he can't help but feel like he's at court. "As it turns out, fighting off monsters is easier than the gravity of a bed like that."

Julian's smile shines brighter and he laughs, narrowing his eyes at the sun.

"Don't worry about it," he says. "I'm glad you've had some proper rest. But I’m afraid I cannot let you go with an empty stomach.”

It’s already past midday and Geralt knows that he should get going if he wants to get to the town he came from with no rush, get his coin and leave for the next one but he also knows that he can’t refuse.

“Come,” Julian says, brushing his hand over Geralt's arm and beckoning him deeper into the garden towards an arbour. “I’ll ask the stableman to get your horse ready while we eat.”

***

Without really realising, Geralt stays for a couple more hours.

Julian asks him about what’s led him to these regions - aside from the contract - and Geralt just… talks.

It’s easy, somehow - talking to him.

It almost feels natural and in the warm light of the day, Geralt doesn’t feel overwhelmed anymore.

He tells Julian about how he was headed to Oxenfurt when he’d heard about the contract that had led him here and then hums in agreement when, after a moment or two, Julian asks if he’s from the School of the Wolf.

“You seem to know the Schools much better than the majority of people I come across on the Path,” Geralt says, very dimly aware of how much time had passed.

Julian just shrugs with one shoulder, a smile on his lips, and gestures towards the library windows with a move of his wrist.

“I’ve read quite a lot about witchers, ever since the Academy,” he explains. “I’ve been friends with a medical student and one of her professors was rather… passionate about mutagens and the Trials. He would tell his students his thoughts on the matter every now and then, and she would then tell them to me, because we used to tell each other everything. I got interested and, before I really knew it, I’ve read everything the library could provide on the subject.”

An academic interest, Geralt thinks, watching the way Julian’s cornflower-blue eyes flick to the medallion on his chest and then back to one of the rose bushes that he’d been using as a distraction point during the entire conversation. When his gaze would linger for a little too long and he would notice, it would immediately snap to the rosebush.

It was almost… pleasant, the way he looked at Geralt with a glint in his eyes.

“And, well,” Julian goes on after a moment, meeting Geralt’s eyes again with an easy, relaxed smile. “My previous witcher guest was rather talkative. He stayed here for a couple of days and, once he learned about my interest, proposed that as a gratitude for my hospitality, he shall answer any questions that I might have about witchers. I took on the opportunity and, somehow, we stayed up until the early hours of the morning, just talking, every day that he was here.”

Geralt chuckles, reluctantly admitting to himself that maybe, if he was to stay for another day or two, they could also stay up and talk well into the night.

But, of course, that is not an option. Roach is well-rested, and his shoulder is bandaged, there are no more reasons for him to stay. After all, he was an uninvited guest, to begin with.

But even so, he almost feels sorry that he has to leave, because Julian just… talks to him.

Like they’re equals, like Geralt isn’t a result of Trials and mutations - a monster hunter, yes - but also a killer. He doubts that there is anyone in the North that has not heard of The Butcher of Blaviken, the white-haired witcher that had caused carnage in the middle of the town.

But Julian doesn’t smell of fear, doesn’t smell of hatred. He talks to him not like Blaviken had never happened, he talks to him like he knows why it happened. Like he knows he had to choose between two wrong options and not choosing at all was more than he could bear.

Don’t get lost in your illusions, Geralt has to tell himself quickly, cutting his train of thought short, He’s just abiding by the rules of hospitality, he doesn't even know about Blaviken.

“What did you say his name was?” he asks, just to drown out his own voice in his head. “Aiden?”

Julian hums an affirmative and it almost feels like that name is familiar to Geralt, but he can’t remember, how. Must’ve heard it somewhere, he decides.

“I’ve seen him a couple more times after that, actually,” Julian says. “Whenever he’s nearby, he comes to visit.”

When Geralt bites his tongue, it’s too late and the question had already been spoken:

“Just a friend?”

Fuck, he thinks, immediately.

Julian’s eyes snap to meet his, slightly widened with surprise and Geralt half-expects anger but the younger man just laughs, open and sweet, like a birdsong.

“Yes, for better or for worse,” he says. “There is another that owns his heart. Or, at least, so I’m told.”

Geralt has no idea on what he’s supposed to say to that so, instead, he chooses to stand up promptly.

“Well,” he says, controlling his voice carefully. “I’m afraid, I must leave now. The alderman must be expecting me.”

Julian stands up, as well, and, thankfully, doesn’t comment on the much more obvious reason for the witcher’s sudden desire to leave. And if he does take Geralt up and down once before stepping out of the arbour and leading his back towards the stables, Geralt admits that he deserves it.

***

“I hope the alderman pays you what he’d promised,” Julian says when they reach the gates, Geralt leading Roach by the reins.

He’s usually good at reading people’s emotions - either by smell or by the look in their eyes - but the shadow that slithers across the blue of Julian’s eyes when he looks at the forest beyond the gates is not something he can identify. His scent changes, too, an undertone of something that Geralt can’t describe in any way other than longing mixing into Julian’s own smell - something warm and almost familiar, like vanilla and dried herbs.  

This time Geralt stops himself in time and doesn’t ask.

“Thank you,” he says instead, pulling himself up into the saddle. “For everything. Last night would’ve been a hard one if it wasn’t for you.”  

Julian smiles at him, running his hand up and down Roach’s neck which, strangely, she seems to enjoy.

“My pleasure,” he replies and when he takes his hand away, Geralt has to tell himself that the way the tips of his fingers brush over his knee is accidental.

Julian opens the gates and steps aside to let Geralt and Roach through, Lucio and Asra at his side like they have always been there, even though the witcher is sure that they were absent back in the arbour.

“Travel safe,” Julian says when Geralt turns around to look at him and the mansion one last time.

It’s strange, hearing it from anyone other than his brothers or Vesemir, and though he replies with only a carefully guarded nod, it turns something over deep inside his chest.

[wordsablaze]

Disproven Dreams

Jaskier has been in a lot of fights but the worst ones are always against his own mind. Or, the three times Eskel has to wake him up from his nightmares - day four of @jaskierwhumpweek

A/N: one of the rare occasions i aimed for v angsty and ended up oddly fluffy as well - chaotic h/c i suppose ?? today’s prompt: “nightmares”

-

There’s someone in his room.

And he’s in his room for some reason.

He hasn’t been in his room, his actual bedroom, for what feels like centuries.

But he is in his room again so he must have come with a reason of some sort and then forgotten. He glances around, hoping to clear his own confusion, but the room seems empty, faded, meaningless.

Why is he here?

“Because you should be,” his mother replies.

Jaskier whirls around to see her disapproving gaze and frowns. “Mother? What are you doing here?”

His mother sighs as if he’d asked her which spoon he was meant to use for his soup - a soup spoon, obviously, but people would be surprised how many times he’s gotten that wrong in the past.

“I live here Julian, and you should be here with me.”

“I… I am here?” Jaskier offers, wincing at the use of his actual name.

She tuts at him and folds her arms in front of her chest. “Does it look like you’re here, Julian? Does it look like you’re fulfilling your role as a Viscount instead of plaguing the continent with your musical nonsense?”

Jaskier flinches at the venom dripping from her words.

“Mother, you know I love-”

“Wasting your life chasing after witchers who will never see you as anything but useless? Haven’t you realised they’re going to leave you to rot the same way you left us?” she sneers.

He opens his mouth to protest that he hadn’t left anyone to rot, that he’d only left so his own soul didn’t rot, but he can’t find the words to explain himself. He can’t find any words for that matter.

“Isn’t that better?” she croons, stepping towards him, one of her hands cupping the side of his face. Her nails dig into his skin as he shakes his head and reaches up to clutch at his throat, his wordless throat.

“You’re nothing but a disgrace,” she whispers, and somehow he feels her words rattle inside his bones, and it hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much.

Blood runs down his neck as she presses harder, the edges of his room moving to let her trap him between them and herself. He still doesn’t know why he’d come back but he wishes he hadn’t.

He just wants to step away, to stop her from touching him, but he can’t move and he can feel himself crying but his room is so dark and blurry and he can’t even see the door and he can’t breathe anymore and doesn’t know why he’d even come back and-

“Jaskier!”

-his eyes fly open.

He gasps loudly, his hands reaching for his neck immediately. He’s too relieved to be embarrassed about the way he sobs in relief upon feeling nothing but his own touch and the breath in his lungs.

“Jaskier, you’re okay. It was just a dream, you’re okay.”

And Eskel. Sweet, kind Eskel, who always helps him feel safe.

“Eskel?” he asks, his hands shaking as he goes to furiously wipe away his tears.

He feels Eskel’s warm hands around his own, neither of them moving until Jaskier’s shoulders stop shaking. Only then does Eskel remove one of his hands and wrap an arm around him, pulling him closer.

“It’s just us here, bardling, you’re safe,” Eskel soothes, and Jaskier just wants to live in his beautiful voice.

He lets himself melt into the witcher’s touch, erasing the feel of his mother’s nails from his memory, before sighing softly. “I love you.”

There’s a small pause in which Jaskier fears his mother was right but then Eskel presses a soft kiss to his forehead and smiles. “And I, you.”

Jaskier almost sobs again but somehow, he manages to settle for pressing closer to Eskel, choosing to listen to the heartbeat of the man he loves rather than the voice of someone who’d never loved him at all.

Being in Eskel’s arms is the only dream he wants to keep as a reality.

-///-

There’s a drowner by the lake.

And he’s by the lake for some reason.

And it’s hardly a lake if he’s honest, it’s more like a slightly sophisticated swamp.

But either way, it’s very difficult to run on such watery ground and he finds himself stumbling several times.

He can hear the drowner roar - or whatever the appropriate sound is, he can’t recall the correct term - behind him and can’t help but whimper, speeding up as much as he can.

He wants to stop and curl up and close his eyes but he doesn’t want to experience death by drowner so he carries on running, even as his lungs and his legs start to burn alike.

“Eskel?” he calls desperately.

They must have been together, they must have been, but Jaskier is alone if you don’t count the monster trying to kill him, which he doesn’t, and he hates to think that Eskel might already be dead.

But there’s no reply and he finds himself tiring as he passes a willow tree that looks exactly the same as the one he passed just a few minutes ago.

He can practically feel the drowner getting closer.

Breathing heavily, Jaskier all but keels over, landing painfully on his knees but somehow sinking into the ground at the same time and oh right, he’s in a swamp, isn’t he?

“Please…”

He’s not even sure he knows what he’s asking for and the drowner clearly doesn’t because there’s a sharp pain in his shoulder before he knows it. And then another stabbing sensation in his leg, and another in his stomach, and another in his forearm.

He can hear himself screaming but all he can feel is pain, so much pain, more pain than he’s ever known.

And the worst part is, he’s going to die alone. He’s going to bleed out whilst impaled under a drowner and nobody is going to find his body and he’s going to fade into this swamp as is he’d never even lived and it’s all his fault because he should have stayed away but no, he just had to see the drowner for himself and-

“Jaskier!”

-Eskel’s voice.

Eskel’s voice?

Jaskier groans and looks up at the drowner that seems to frown down at him but that can’t be right because drowners can’t frown, can they?

“Jaskier, come on, come back to me.”

That is definitely Eskel’s voice so Jaskier blinks, shaking his head and trying to look past the drowner, trying to see where his favourite witcher’s voice is coming from.

“That’s it, open your eyes for me?”

But his eyes are open, aren’t they?

Jaskier trusts Eskel more than he trusts himself so he lets the world fade to black and then, focusing purely on the sound of Eskel’s voice, slowly blinks his eyes open.

“You’re not dead,” Jaskier breathes as he sees Eskel, sees only Eskel and no drowner.

Eskel chuckles, but it’s clearly strained. And after a few seconds, Jaskier realises that they are by a willow tree but they’re definitely not in a swamp of any kind and neither of them are about to die.

“We’re not dead, we’re safe,” Eskel confirms.

Jaskier groans and throws himself at Eskel, who doesn’t hesitate to wrap him in a warm embrace and guide the two of them so they’re leaning against the tree together, Jaskier’s face buried in the crook of Eskel’s neck.

Jaskier is rather in love with the fact that, no matter what he sees at night, he always has Eskel to wake up to.

-///-

There’s blood on his sword.

And he has a sword for some reason.

He doesn’t know why, he usually travels with several smaller daggers that are far more easily hidden.

But the sword - silver, he notes - is in his hand and his grip is firm, suggesting that he’s been fighting with it for quite some time.

He can’t recall starting any fights but before he has time to remember exactly what he’d been doing, another sword is thrown into his line of sight.

Without thinking, he lifts his own to block it, wincing at the metallic noise the two make when pressed together. But the awful sound means nothing when he sees who’s wielding the other weapon.

“Eskel?” Jaskier asks incredulously.

“Stop fighting, Jaskier,” Eskel growls, none of his usual softness present in his tone.

Jaskier opens his mouth to ask what they’re doing, if they’re just training again, but then Eskel twirls their swords and moves to attack once more.

Jaskier gasps and steps backwards, shaking his head. “No, no, I’m not fighting you, I- I wouldn’t.”

But then he has to duck when Eskel makes to slide his head off and he finds himself scrambling backwards, narrowly avoiding falling to the ground. “Please, love, stop this. I don’t want to hurt you!”

Eskel only growls at him again. “Tell that to the blood on your blade.”

Only when he blocks another of Eskel’s attempts to stab him does he realise there’s a reason he’s not already dead: Eskel is injured. Or more accurately, he’d injured Eskel.

“This isn’t happening,” Jaskier mumbles, but he’s wrong.

Eskel moves before he can register it and he finds himself landing awkwardly on his back, one of his legs twisting under him as they both fall, Eskel glaring down at him as if they don’t love one another.

Wait.

“Eskel?” Jaskier doesn’t even know how to ask but he needs to know, he needs to know if the man he loves doesn’t love him back anymore.

A sharp pressure on his wrist causes him to cry out and drop his sword. Eskel grins above him, an awful parody of the true smile Jaskier usually has the privilege to witness. “Don’t use my name, bard.”

Jaskier flinches.

He tries to arch his back and throw Eskel off, managing to roll away for just a second, but Eskel is stronger and quicker and he finds himself trapped under the witcher before he can truly think of a plan.

And then Eskel presses a sword to his neck and Jaskier forgets how to breathe.

“Eskel, darling, please…”

The sword presses harder.

Jaskier gasps and tilts his head back but it’s too late, he can feel the warmth seeping out from under his skin. And Eskel only smiles down at him, pushing his blade down further and staying silent as Jaskier moans in pain.

“I love you,” he manages before the world blurs.

And it’s not so bad, he thinks, to die at the hands of someone he loves, because at least the last thing he’ll ever see is the face of the man he’d wanted to spend the rest of his life with and, one way or another, that’s exactly what he’d done.

“Jaskier, wake up!”

How can he wake up if he’s dead?

“Please, Jaskier!”

Well, if they’re going to be so polite about it he can hardly deny them-

“Almost there. Come on, Jas.”

-and so he opens his eyes.

Only to be met with Eskel’s worried gaze.

He whimpers automatically, one hand flying to his neck and the other reaching to push Eskel away because he still doesn’t want to fight him, he’d rather die again.

“I’m not going to hurt you, you’re alright,” Eskel promises, his tone sincere.

Jaskier shakes his head and when his hands find no blood, he squeezes his eyes shut and just cries.

But Eskel is there, lifting Jaskier’s head, gently brushing his tears away. “I’ve got you, bardling, I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier sobs, letting their foreheads press together as he takes in the room around them, the bed beneath them, the lack of violence around them.

“Don’t be,” Eskel murmurs, “it wasn’t real.”

He can’t be lying because if he was, Jaskier would already be dead again, and he couldn’t possibly accuse the arms sheltering him from his nightmares of killing him.

And anyway, there’s no denying whether or not he’s awake this time because no amount of cruel imagination could possibly compare to the warm love he can practically feel radiating from Eskel.

-

previous: “betrayal” // next: insecurities

-

thanks for reading! masterlist | witcher sideblog: @itsjaskier

[the-soupiest-artist]

The Man Who Hurt Her

A/N: Sooo......first fanfic (kinda) I’m getting into depth on Lyra’s past, which I have touched on here. This is gaining into the effects of Lyra forcing herself to remember her past and all of the damage it has caused her.

With her LI Julian because Mwa those babes are perfect.

Julian x female apprentice (Lyra)

Warnings: mentions of rape, nightmares.

The night is warm and dark. Not a single star in the sky hung over the quiet city of Vesuvia, as the wild nightlife of the wild city had finally gone to rest.

As for the good doctor, Julian, sleep was a rare delicacy he got to enjoy. But the sound of his beloved’s breathing, her subtle sighs as conioisness slips from her,. That alone was enough to bring him peace....and at least a good few hours of sleep.

As he closed his eyes one night, the feeling of rest and slumber finally settling on him he felt her stir in his arms, she started to toss and turn. Julian let her go from his gentle grasp, she started to mumble nonsense as her brow furrowed. As he reached out to wake her, Lyra’s eyes snapped open and she sat up her back turned to him.

Lyra was breathing hard cold sweat dripping down her face and shoulders, her arms crossed over her chest as she clung on to the silk of her nightgown. Her eyes wild and scared. Julian sat up and placed his hand gently on her shoulder.

Lyra was startled and she jumped from his touch and fell off the bed the blanket falling to the floor with her as she sat there on the floor staring absolute fear into his eyes. In that moment Julian felt his heart break a little, had he done something? Did he hurt her? Worry filled his head.

Once she realized it was Julian, she gasped slightly her hands covering her mouth as a small feeling of relief washed over her.

“Oh...Julian I....am so sorry.....you just scared me....” she whispered, her voice was panicked and fearful.

Julian took a deep breath, “Are.....are you alright?”

Lyra knew that look in his eyes, oh gods he thought the dream was about him. She sighed, her breath still shaken along with her voice, “It....it’s just a nightmare.....” She stood up slowly, “and before..you start to worry more than you already are.....no...the dream wasn’t about you....”

He felt a sort of peace, still, he had never seen her experience a nightmare that vivid before. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She thought for a few moments picking up the blanket from the floor. She could still feel HIM on her, her skin crawled and she felt nauseous. She wanted to rip her skin from her body, and burn the feeling from her.

Lyra draped the blanket around Julian’s shoulders, he reached out to hold her but she backed away, his heart breaking just a little more.

“Yes...but....” she sighed dropping her head into her hands rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palms. “Where.....where do I even begin.....”

“You don’t have to tell me everything.....just.....tell me what you want me to know...” Julian mumbled gently, his grey eyes soft, full of kindness, and reassurance. “I don’t want you to relive whatever hell you just awoke from.”

Lyra took a deep breath, “that hell......was something I actually lived through Julian.”

She wrapped her arms around herself, the imprinted feeling of his calloused hands on her made her feel small and weak.

Seeing her suffer like this, greatly pained Julian...more than a thousand stab wounds to the chest....he wanted to reach out and hold her, caress her moonstruck hair and tell her that everything was going to be alright, and that he loved her.

Lyra chose her next few words carefully trying not to send her mind further down the spiral it had been traversing since waking up from the nightmare, “he.....was.....I......He was there......the....the man who hurt me.......he...I....”

Antonio

That bastard man

Julian remembered the night when Lyra told him of her past

He hated HIM with all of his being.

And it seemed he was still trying to torment her

She flinched, as Lyra tried to hold back her tears, her lip quivering.

“I can still feel him......I can feel him on me.....my skin is crawling and I just....I am just so disgusted with myself.....” she sniffled.

That was the breaking point for Julian.

“Lyra.” He murmured, “Lyra, it’s alright to cry.”

Lyra finally let her guard down, she wrapped her arms around Julian and wept. He held her close, he wanted to make sure Lyra felt safe in his arms.

“Shhhhh......Dearest....” Julian whispered, “you are alright.....it was just a nightmare......you’re here, far away from him.....he’s never going to hurt you again...not as long as I live and breathe....”

Lyra started to calm down, taking deep shaky breaths. Julian pulled away slightly as he looked into her eyes and gently wiped her tears from her face.

“Thank you for telling me...” he murmured kissing her forehead. “I love you Lyra.”:

She leaned into his gentle hands a tired grin across her face, “I love you too.”

Julian pulled her in for another tight hug, Lyra buried her head in his shoulder.

The two stayed like that for a while, listening to the soft night breeze and the comforting sound of their hearts.

“Do you want to at least try to get more sleep?” Julian asked her gently leaning his head on hers.

Lyra nodded and with her still in his arms, Julian pulled the rest of their blankets over their intertwined forms, peaceful rest finding Lyra quickly. Julian caressed her soft moonstruck hair as the quiet night continued to grow old.

[howaboutleeches]

Think about it. Pirate!Julian encounters Pirate!Reader when their crews start a bar fight

"Are you a good man, Captain?" (Captain!Pirate!Julian Devorak x Captain!Pirate!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, stabbing, woman-shaming,talking about death

Word Count: 1,615

"So I said to him, I said "Bernie, you pop that gum one...more...time"" Jackie had the attention of the whole bar as she told her storie, standing on a table"And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots...into his head"

I could hear a few gasps, a glass falling and a chick high fived Jackie as she got down the table, finishing her storie.

"And that's how I killed my husband, became a fugitive and joined this lovely crew" She winked at her mates and nodded her head at me.

"That's bullshit!" A guy yelled from the back.

Heads turned, including mine and Jackie's and a tall, muscular man, body filled with tattoos and a scar across his face, had his arms crossed over his chest, face filled with disbelief.

"And why do you think that?" Jackie copied his posture and crossed her arms as well.

"Are you kidding? You're a woman! Your type shouldn't even be allowed on the ship. I mean, only the ones who warm our beds" Some men matched his deep and disgusting laugh.

"I think you should shut your craphole before I stick my sword into it" Jackie drew her sword before I could even notice.

"Bring it on, sea whore" The man also drew his sword, a very long one.

"You know what they say about men with big swords?" Jackie grinned as she held up her pinkie finger. That made him growl in anger.

I decided it was better to step up before something bad happened. Climbing down from the high window I was sitting on, I walked to the middle of the bar, raising my captain hat from my face.

"Please, please, fellas. Why fight? Can't we just enjoy this beautiful night, drink some rum and tell more stories?" After finishing my sentence, I could only feel a breeze over my head as an axe flew over it.

I clenched my fist and turned to the direction where the axe came from and a very skinny man looked at me, terrified. Poor man, I would go easy on him.

"Ooookay, ladies and gentlemen" I turned around, waltzed away from the opposite crew and jumped on top of a table, grabbing the axe and yanking it out of the wall "get ready for a fight!"

Screams and roars came from both sides of the room and soon enough one crew was fighting the other, punches, kicks and all other types of attack were happening in the bar. I was ready to join the fun when something caught my eye.

A red headed man, helping other people to go up the stairs. Were they escaping? Definitely not on my watch. I analyzed the saloon and decided the safest and fastest way to cross it was going behind the counter. I ducked, walking close to the ground and made my way.

While crossing the bar unseen, I could see Jackie fighting the asshole from before. I jumped over the counter, pulled my small dagger from my belt and stabbed him in the back. The man let go of his sword and seeing that opportunity, Jackie kicked him in the jewels, giving me a thumbs-up.

"I'm going upstairs. I saw some of them trying to escape. Hopefully I'll be able to catch at least one"

"Maybe you could even catch the captain" He joked and I couldn't help but to snort.

"Those pigs only care about themselves. They are always the first ones to flee. Their captain is far far away" And finishing my sentence, I dashed to the stairs going to the second floor.

As usual, it was a corridor with many doors. Rooms for voyagers, couples who wanted some privacy and drunks who didn't want to go home and had some money in their pockets.

The last door though was sprung open, still banging on the wall because of the wind. They were still here. And if I ran fast enough, I could still catch at least one of them. Hopefully he would be the talker type.

Running through the corridor, I could feel myself burning up with excitement. It was always a win to come back with a prisoner. But going into the room, I saw something completely unexpected happening.

The read headed man was helping people out of the window. But that's wasn't odd. The thing that actually intrigued me was seeing a captain's hat hanging from his belt.

"My oh my, what do we have here?" The last person had just exited through the window when the man turned to me in shock.

He tried to jump out of the window before I could catch him, but his long legs made him trip on himself and falling all spread out on the floor. I walked with my hand on my hips, going over him and sitting on the edge of the window.

"What kind of captain are you?" I crossed my legs and adjusted my hat so that he could see my whole face.

He sat abruptly on the floor, almost falling again, and crossed his legs like a child "Wh-what do you mean?"

"You were almost invisible down there, didn't make a scene or a fuss, didn't start any drama, didn't interrupt nor encouraged the fight and even helped part of the crew to escape? Your no ordinary captain"

"Darling, you would be surprised by how peculiar I can be" He got up, putting on his hat, just to take it off again in a swift movement, bending over to me and extending the hat "Julian Devorak, Captain Devorak or whatever you wanna call me"

I got up myself, feeling slightly intimidated by his height but keeping my pose "(Y/N) (Y/L/N), Captain (Y/L/N) or whatever you wanna call me".

"You sure are very fierce, Captain, I actually though you would choke me to death" Captain Devroak took a step closer to me and gave me a devilish smirk.

"I mean, if you are into that" I almost pressed our chests together, leaving only a few inches between us "...it can be arranged"

He blushed and it did something to my body that I had never experienced before. His shyness made me feel shy as well. He had this magnetism that made me want to get close to him.

He stated to stutter, trying to respond to my dirty comment and leaned his hat lower, trying to hide his face due the embarrassment. But unfortunately, I wasn't taking any of that.

I placed my hand softly on his hat and removed it from his head, tossing it to the side. His hair was messy now and I could finally analyze him. His hair reminded me of the burning fire of a fireplace and his skin looked like porcelain. Almost to delicate to touch but starving for any type of contact.

I realized the eyepatch he had and I wonder why he had it. There was s small lump on it, so there was definitely an eye in there, but it wasn't the time or place to ask about it...yet. I noticed his lips quivering and decided to take the lead. I grabbed him by his cloak and pulled him closer.

"Tell me captain, why did you leave the rest of your crew downstairs?" He looked relieved when he realised I wasn't teasing him anymore.

"They aren't actually part of the crew. Those bastards tagged along a few days ago and we all found it very strange. They started bothering the women of the ship and that was unacceptable. We tried to fight them, but they had one of them hostage. My plan was to get them drunk as a distraction and leave them behind. But I guess your crew took better care of that part"

"I see" I pulled his cloak in a way that made him lean down, faces coming closer "Now tell me, Captain, are you a nice, good and honorable man?"

He chuckled, getting his confidence back "Definitely not, Captain. I'm reckless, rowdy and completely bad"

I could help but laugh a little of him "Uhmm, that's exactly how I like it"

I stretched my whole body to be able to brush my lips against his and he placed his gloved hand on my back. We looked at each other's eyes and I could definitely see a sparkle on his.

"Captain! We won!" Jackie bursted into the room and Julian turned his head while I ducked to the side to look at her "Ooooh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were, well, yeah. I'm, uh, going down and, well, see ya!"

We kept looking at the door until the sound of her footsteps were nothing but a simple memory. We stared at each other again and starting laughing, still holding onto one another.

"Now that was a mood breaker" I pressed my forehead against his chest and he sighed.

"Well, I'm sure we'll be able to continue our fun another time"

My eyes went wide and I smiled at him "We are having a party tonight at my ship, you and your crew should come!" I realized I sounded to excited and fake coughed "I mean, only if you want to"

He laughed lightly and kissed my cheek "It'll be my pleasure, darling"

I let go of his clothes and walked past him, going out of the room, but stopping before he vanished from my sight "Maybe you can show me how bad you are"

I ran down the corridor, rushing down the stairs, excited and giggling like a teenager. I couldn't wait to tell Jackie all the juicy details.

[trihearts-bull-corner]

Prompt Challenge

So this is my writing prompt challenge. It is a very long list, and some of the quotes are very long. Every line is from my favorite author, Sherrilyn McQueen (previously known as Sherrilyn Kenyon). Quotes that inspire fluff, romance, and/or angst

[[MORE]]

You have the optimism of a child. (Julian) Peter Pan all the way. (Grace)

Life isn't finding shelter in the storm. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

But as the Roman playwright Terence once wrote, From many a bad beginning great friendships have formed

I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.

I marvel at the fact you’ve lived to your age and no one’s taken those rose-colored glasses and shoved them up your ass.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

Oh contraire, mon frère. I’m able to annoy anyone in ten syllables or less. Sometimes, I don’t even have to speak at all. I just walk into the room and it rankles them.

It's easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present and their past, but you'd be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often then not, it's lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul.

You’re not done with me entirely, human. I’m the mother of his daughter. (CharacterA) You’re right. You are ____'s mother, poor her. But you’re wrong about one thing. (characterB) And that is? (CharacterA) I’m no longer human. I’m the Atlantie Kedemonia Theony – the guardian of the Atlantean gods. And right now there’s only one of them walking about and to save him from one more bad memory created by you, I’d bathe in your entrails, bitch. As for ___, she’s a big girl – I know, I used to live with her. She’ll survive the death of her mother. Trust me, I have firsthand experience with the subject. (characterB)

"How can anyone be afraid of love?" (CharacterA) "When you love someone... truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it's crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough... but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?" (characterB)

Aren't you an enigma wrapped in a thick coating of contradictions.

Sometimes things have to go wrong in order to go right.

Do you want my input or is this just an angry tirade you need to vent? (CharacterA) Both! (characterB) Okay, you rant and I’ll add my comments at the end. (CharacterA)

We have three kinds of family. Those we are born to, those who are born to us, and those we let into our hearts

I assure you, princess, if you saw the real me, you’d run for cover. (CharacterA) Only if I knew you’d be waiting under that cover for me. (characterB)

"Oh God, I just kissed a vampire!" "Oh Gods, I just kissed a human!"

I have a computer, a vibrator, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

Bitch please...you haven't seen mean yet.

"____! I won’t leave you here to die." (CharacterA) It’s okay, princess. I don’t mind dying for you. (characterB)

Life is a tapestry woven by the decisions we make.

If brute force doesn't work, you aren't using enough

You know the incredible thing about hearts is their unbelievable capacity for forgiveness. You’d be amazed what people will overlook when they love someone

my balls if you crawl inside a bottle and pickle yourself solid. I’ve got other things to think about now. But let me remind you of something a good friend once said to me when I was being eaten alive by feelings I didn’t understand. ‘Even when my marriage was bad, it was good.’ I had no real idea what you meant that night, but now I do and I’m grateful to the gods I can finally believe in that I took a chance on something that almost killed me. The life I have now…no, the woman I have now is worth every rotten moment of my worthless existence that led me to her door, and I would relive it all to have one kiss from her lips. You’re the one who told me that the right woman was a shelter from the storm

I wasn't born, I was unleashed.

She couldn’t very well let him join her in bed like that. Sure you could. No I can’t. Please? Hush, self, let me think.

We almost made it to thirty seconds without an insult. I think we set a new record

Get off me, you lard-ass, halitosis, flea-infested horror-movie reject! 

I thought only a wooden stake through the heart killed a vampire. (CharacterA) A wooden stake through the heart will kill just about anything. And if it doesn't, run like hell (characterB)

You’re the only thing I’ve ever done right in my entire life and if anything ever happened to you, they’d have to dig two graves ‘cause I couldn’t live a single day without my baby beside me. (parent to child)

You know, I would date, if I could find a man worth shaving my legs for. 

C'mon, Tabitha. You stabbed me the night we met without even blinking. (CharacterA) Yeah, but you were a dirtbag then. (characterB) I think I'm offended. (CharacterA)

I learned a long time ago not to judge people by what they look like, sound like, or by the clothes they wear. Just because a house is nice and shiny out front doesn’t mean it’s not rotting on the inside.

you're right ___. I am a selfish bastard. I had to be, because no one else gave a single shit about me except me

I have found my star. She is beauty and grace. Elegance and goodness. My laughter in winter. She is courageous and strong. Bold and tempting. Unlike any other in all the universe, and I cannot touch her. I dare not even try

I’m here because I know the sadness inside you. I know what it feels like to wake in the morning, lost and lonely and aching for someone to be there with me

What are you doing? (CharacterA) I'm getting into my car. (characterB) You own this?! (CharacterA) No. I'm stealing it with the key in my hand. (characterB)

So, does this make you visibly challenged? (CharacterA) No, but if you don’t lay off me, I’m going to make you breathing impaired. (characterB)

I'm the top of the food chain and well...you're the food

___ says that tragedy and adversity are the stones we sharpen our swords against ao that we can fight new battles.

Sure. My ego's had enough time to recover a modicum of dignity. Let's make sure we crush it again before I mistake myself for a god

Human will is the strongest will ever created. There are those who are born to succeed and those who are determined to succeed. The former fall into it, and the latter pursue it at all costs. They won’t be denied. Nothing daunts them.

You know when people say fine, it generally means ‘leave me the hell alone because I don’t want to talk about what’s really bothering me

Baby, I ain't trash. Trash is something you throw away. My people keep me.

We're not the damned, folks, we're the categorically fucked. 

So is there any part of you that’s not a lethal weapon? (CharacterA) No. Even my wits are sharpened. (characterB)

The worst wounds, the deadliest of them, aren't the ones people see on the outside. They're the ones that make us bleed internally

The past is dead. Tomorrow will become whatever decision you make it.

Strength through adversity. The strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell. It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it’s plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength. Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight.

Love is deceitful and sublime. In its truest form, it brings out the best in all beings. At its worse, It's a tool used to manipulate and ruin any one who is stupid enough to hold it. Don't be stupid

Forgiveness is the best part of valor...Discretion is easy. It's finding the courage to forgive yourself and others that is hard

Even if I were lying on the sun itself, I would be freezing there without you

I learned the bad guys are not always bad, the good guys are not always good, and to quote Captain Barbossa, the parameters are like rules, mostly guidelines. And that it takes a little bit of bad boy to fight the evil in the world.

Laugh it up, asshole. But she who laughs last laughs longest, and I intend to belly roll tonight

I think infatuation is like a garden. If tended and cared for, it grows into love. If neglected or abused it dies. The only way to have eternal love is to never let your heart forget what it's like to live without it.

What? It's not my fault I stab all the fanged people. They shouldn't look like vampires. (CharacterA) I didn't look like a vampire, but you stabbed me. (characterB) Yeah, well, you looked like a lawyer so I had to kill you. It was a moral imperative. (CharacterA)

Where are you anyway? (CharacterA) I don't know. I hear some godawful kind of music from outside, horns blaring, and I'm in a house with a Mohawk cuckoo bird, a transvestite, and a knife-wielding lunatic. (characterB) Why are you at ____'s? (CharacterA)

You’re selfish and you’re cold, and I’m tired of getting frostbite when I touch you

He who lets fear rule him, has fear for a master

Be kind to dragons, for thou art crunchy when toasted and taste good with ketchup

If you have any care for ____ at all, don't leave him in darkness. It's not fair to show someone the sun and then to banish him from it. Even the devil may cry when he looks around hell and realizes that he's there alone

Have you ever wanted something that you knew was bad for you? Something that you ached for so much you could think of nothing else?

Gee, thanks Dad. I promise to be a good boy and play nice with the other kids.(CharacterA) Smart ass. (characterB) Better than a dumb ass.(CharacterA)

I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die.

You're so afraid of being hurt that you attack first. Only those who really care about you will weather the assault of your verbal attacks and stay. The rest will fall away.

Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live

The most beautiful heart of all is the one that can still love even while it bleeds, and especially after its been broken into thousands of pieces.

Just how many sisters do you have? (CharacterA) Eight. (characterB) Eight? (CharacterA) What? (characterB) I'm just pitying whatever poor males lived in that house with all of you. It must have been truly frightening at least one week out of every month. (CharacterA) Was that a joke? (characterB) Merely a frightening statement of fact. (CharacterA)

There, there, baby. We'll hide her body in the trunk later.

Sorrow spares no one, and scars respect no person.

Yeah, it never fails to amaze me how a single lie can undo an entire lifetime of good

Is he a good boy? (CharacterA) No, Mom, he’s Satan incarnate. In fact, once it’s over, we’re going to get liquored up and tattooed, then find some cheap hos and have a good time with his trust fund. (characterB)

Oh no, no, no! Are you going to suck my blood? (CharacterA) Do I look like a lawyer to you? (characterB)

Hey, yummy leather guy? Can you hear me? 

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss other people. Life's too short to worry about what other people do or don't do. Tend your own backyard, not theirs, because yours is the one you have to live in

It would have really cramped my future plans had I died. 

No power from above can make one human love another. Love comes from within the heart.

There are always three sides to every memory…yours, theirs, and the truth, which lies somewhere in between the two

You don’t knock on the devil’s door, boy, unless you want him to answer.

Take care of him, ____. And remember it takes great courage and heart for a man who knows no kindness to show it to another. Even the wildest of beasts can be tamed by a patient and gentle hand.

To infinity then. (CharacterA)  What’s that mean? (characterB) It’s something my dad used to say when I was a kid. To infinity, meaning you’d see something through to the end. (CharacterA) Infinity is never-ending. (CharacterB) That’s right, which means you keep going and going no matter what happens or what obstacles you meet. Over, under, around or through. There’s always a way. And if you have to chase something to infinity, strap on your big-boy pants, hiking boots, and go. (CharacterA)

Whoa, what is this? Battle of the Sarcastic and Pissed? Should I make popcorn? Forget American Idol, man. This is much more entertaining

Life is serious. (CharacterA)  No, life is an adventure. It's thrilling and scary. Sometimes it's even a bit boring, but it should never be serious. (characterB)

You can take my life, but you'll never break me. So bring me your worst… And I will definitely give you mine.

Just remember, anger is always your enemy. You must keep your emotions in check. The moment you lose control of them, you lose the fight every time.

It’s a responsibility that I take most seriously, so excuse me for banning you from killing them because you have reverse PMS. (CharacterA) Reverse PMS? (characterB) Yeah, unlike a normal woman, you’re cranky twenty-eight days out of the month. (CharacterA)

You are the only warmth in my heart. The only sunshine my winter has ever known

I wonder why no one called the police about the rocket launcher? God knows my neighbors usually report it if I so much as fart in my backyard.

I am a socially awkward mandork. 

What else can I do to piss you off? (CharacterA) You can leave me. (characterB) I would never do that, ____. No one can live without their heart and that’s what you are to me. (CharacterA)

What planet are you from? Obviously Planet Insanity was missing a local, long-term resident.'

Actions that sometimes seem mean aren’t. Rather they are done by the ones we love in order to protect us without our knowing it.

Knock, knock. (CharacterA) Now, ain't this a bitch. Here I am, trying to kiss my girl, and you have to interrupt us. What, were you raised in a barn? By the way, touch the woman, or the Lamborghini, and you're a dead man. (characterB)

The wealth of a soul is measured by how much it can feel... its poverty by how little

You’re human. No one cares if you sleep with a whore. (CharacterA) (characterB did something she’d never in her life done before. She slapped another person.) You ever insult ____ again and so help me, I’ll do to you what you allowed your brother to do to him. I’ll cut your tongue out for it. ____ is the man I love and no one, ever, takes issue with him without having issues with me. (characterB)

Your destiny is shaped by choice, never by chance. Beware the decisions you make, no matter how small, for they will be your salvation...or your death.

Wake up, ____. Your psychotic criminal is playing with knives.

I accept you as you are, and I will always hold you close in my heart. I will walk beside you forever

Words are easy to say, but emotions betray the best intentions.

Because I have no boobs. My ears stand out, and I have freckles all over me. (CharacterA) Boobs? (characterB) Breasts. (CharacterA) You have very nice breasts. (CharacterB) Thanks. What about you? (CharacterA) I have no breasts. (characterB)

I love you, I love you, I love you! And if you ever die on me again, I'll kill you so dead!

I'm old enough to make you look like an embryo. 

How did you get me here? (CharacterA)I have my evil Jedi ways. The Force is strong with this one. (characterB)

Have you ever noticed that salvation, much like your car keys, is usually found where and when you least expect it?

The man may not be dead, but he was certainly stiff. And this had nothing to do with rigor mortis

He was like some wild, untamed creature that you could keep and feed for a time, but in the end you knew you'd have to let it go for its own sake as well as yours

I will fear no evil for I am the baddest bitch in the land

Ironically no one ever wants to hear what I have to say about anything. They usually argue with me to the point I want to put them through a wall. Hopefully you won’t be so dense

So you're the infamous ____. (CharacterA) Lord and Master of the great barbarian horde that roams the night. (characterB)

No one should have to pay for love in flesh or blood. 

Should I ask about the handcuffs? (CharacterA) Not unless you want to live...otherwise if anyone asks, tell them I died of a heart attack during a wild sexcapade with her. (characterB)

A flower can't grow without rain. (CharacterA) Too much rain and it drowns. (characterB) And yet the most beautiful of the lotus flowers are the ones that grow in the deepest mud. (CharacterA)

I’ve spent my entire life listening to people tell me why I can’t be loved and how I’m nothing but a worthless piece of shit. I always told myself that I didn’t care, that I didn’t need anyone else. It was a lie, you know. I do care and I want ____. If it costs me my life to be with her, it doesn’t matter. I’ve already lived past my prime, anyway. I get up every morning with more pain in my joints than the day before. If I have to die, I’d rather die knowing someone cared about me, just once. Is that really too much to ask? (CharacterA) For us? Yes. It is. We are the gutter and the gutter is all we’ll ever be. Don’t reach out for the stars. They’ll burn you until there’s nothing left. (characterB) Then let me burn. (CharacterA)

Should I warm the oven and bake you a batch of hero cookies? 

I don’t even know what to say to you. (CharacterA) Me, either. I guess we’ll just stand here and cry at each other, huh? (characterB)

Everyone cries sometimes, ____. There are some pains that run too deep for even the strongest to take without breaking. I don’t think any less of you for it.

Please nothing, she’s a vicious piranha. She looks all cute and cuddly, then she opens that mouth and lets loose so much venom she could double as a nest of scorpions

Don't worry, ___. I'm an acquired taste. Most of my best friends had to know me for years before they could even stand my presence. I'm like mold, I usually grow on you very slowly

You know, I've walked this earth for over eleven thousand years, my lady. I have seen things in my life that are unimaginable to you, and you ask me if I doubt you? Lady, I doubt the very air you breathe

(CharacterA) "You are naked."......"You are so naked" (characterB) - "I know" (CharacterA) "You are naked!" (characterB)  "We've established that." (CharacterA) "You're happy and naked." (characterB)"What?

Please don’t let it be another cop. I’m outta bail money. Wait a minute…I could sell you on eBay and make a killing. (CharacterA) Not in my current condition. You’d have to sell ___ or ____. I’m sure there’s someone willing to buy two perfectly good white boys. (characterB)

Hey!" (CharacterA) snapped as he realized (CharacterB) was about to lock him on the outside with their attackers. He pushed the door open and glared at him. "No man left behind." (characterB) scoffed. "This aint' the army, boy. It's every man for himself. Fall behind. Get eaten!"

I marvel at the fact you’ve lived to your age and no one’s taken those rose-colored glasses and shoved them up your ass.

Because I don’t feel broken when you look at me. (CharacterA) How could you feel broken? (characterB) I was shattered as a child and thrown away, like a piece of trash no on wanted. But you don’t treat me like that. You see in me the human bit and you touch that part of me. You make me feel whole and wanted. (CharacterA)

Fate is a bitch with a wicked since of humor and today I'm her punchline

If you're going to hell buddy, I'm driving the bus

I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six

If I am to be judged it will be for who I am. Not for who I'm trying to become

I will count the heartbeats until I see you again

It's official take a psycho to work day. Why else would I be here?

The bitterest pain of all is when you can only hold someone in your heart who you used to hold in your arms

Pain baptizes us all without prejudice or mercy

Whatever doesn't kill me better run like hell

True love will always find it's way through paths where even feral lorinas fear to prey

So goes my incentive to fight fairly. You want fair, play with kids. You wanna come at me, make out a will.

People who don't know me, think I'm quiet. People who do, wish I was.

Shall I show you to the door... Or would you rather go out through the wall?

Before you rattle my cage, you'd best make sure I'm padlocked in it

There are two ways out of this room. The window behind you and the door behind me..... You might survive the window.

Everyday do one thing that scares you. Or one thing that scares other people

The truth spills as quickly from furious lips as a lie. The trick is to learn which is meant to wound and which is meant to enlighten.

We all have out burdens... Just some of us have the ones that strike to kill us vindictively

If you want to see exactly how angry someone can get, tell them to calm down when they're already pissed off!

Don't be afraid to love. Yes its a weakness, but it's a source of greatest strength you'll ever know.

Because you are taking the most important parts of me with you, ___..... My heart and my soul. You are not just my wife. You are what sustains me.

Talk is cheap. Pain is free and I'm peddling the shit out of it. So you come and get some.

Why be difficult when with a little bit of effort you can be impossible

The lies we tell ourselves to survive seldom bring peace to our hearts

Destruction is good for my soul, but it sucks to be you

Family isn't perfect, just perfectly ours

[thewildestthingswedeverseen]

Lady Midnight - Cassandra Clare book review

✰✰✰.25

There were some aspects to Lady Midnight that I truly enjoyed, but overall, I was quite disappointed since the book didn’t live up to my expectations.

I have to mention that I enjoyed reading The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices, but I originally read them to read The Dark Artifices, so I was really excited to start Lady Midnight.

⚠  Spoiler ahead  ⚠

The prologue introduces us to Kit Rook, a mundane having the sight who works at the Shadow Market, and you know from the very beginning that he is going to play an important part later in the book. Which leads me to my first point: nothing really shocked me in this book. Everything was more or less predictable, but it did not ruin my enjoyment of the story. I knew from the beginning that Emma and Julian were going to fall in love but would encounter some hardships, something was going to happen with Mark or Helen, Cristina would have to confront her past... The final supposedly epic revelation about Malcolm being the killer was hinted so heavily when Julian and Emma go to his place and Malcolm has a comment about how Julian shouldn’t trust him. I knew he was going to be the killer (knowing that he is a warlock, the bodies had signs of old incantations scarred on their flesh, and that implied a ritual), but his motives were a surprise. We have never encountered characters practicing necromancy in the previous Shadowhunter books and the fact that Annabel, a very ancient character, was raised from the dead and brought back to life was captivating. I loved Annabel’s story, it is tragic, and I was really glad to learn more about her in the rest of the series. That was the character I was the most looking forward to reading about.

The whole storyline about the Lottery was great. I loved reading about the main characters discovering the existence of this organisation, thinking they knew everything and then realising that they got everything wrong with Sterling not being a victim but becoming a murderer. It felt like restarting all over again and seeing the whole storyline from a different point of view.

About the relationships developing between the characters, I knew from the beginning that Emma and Julian would be a thing, that they would eventually reveal their feelings for each other and then have to part away for some reasons. Little did I know there would be so much drama happening between them. Wow. So. Much. Unnecessary. Drama. To the point where I was bored and indifferent to what happened to them. The scenes where they are getting along are so cheesy, so that didn’t help. The part where Julian gets shot by an arrow and Emma is freaking out, takes of his shirt and applies runes over his torso to heal him was (again) sooo dramatic and felt like it came right from a bad fanfiction.

Let’s just say that I like the character of Julian, he is a very complex character who seems to be soft and innocent but we discover throughout the story that he is very smart and can be manipulative to serve his interest. I love Emma, even though she can be annoying, throwing jokes that are sometimes not funny, but she is a strong badass female shadowhunter, a sassy character and this book is quite dark so it needs some jokes here and there, but they are not my OTP.

Cristina was really boring in this book and her only interest was the fact that she was a potential love interest for Mark, but then realizes Mark has feelings for Kieran, and starts feeling horny… Which was weird…

The whole Blackthorn family has such a great dynamic, I love it. Every character in The Shadowhunter Chronicles seem to have at least one of their parents dead, or have a difficult relationship with their family members, and sure, the Blackthorns had to deal with a lot of tragic shits, with their mother dying and Julian stabbing his dad in the Dark War, but they still succeeded in creating tight bonds between one another, and I love it. Ty is my favourite character, he is the sweetest and deserves all the love in the world.

Mark could have been a great character but his internal turmoil about using runes again after leaving the Wild Hunt or not using them was quite long and uninteresting, his relationship with Kieran was (once again) dramadramadrama everywhere.

 Lady Midnight was an okay introduction to this trilogy, with a lot of good elements, like the political intrigue, the mystery the characters have to solve, but with also a lot of flaws, mostly concerning the relationships between the characters.

[shsummertimefest-blog]

Enjoy, @inmalecscarvesmeanlove!

Hey hey hey, hope it's going well! Here's a little fic for you, I hope you like it! Much love, your secret anon gifter 😊❤

“But what if she tries to feed us?!” Max panicked.

Alec sighed, “Izzy hasn’t cooked since she married Simon, Max. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Actually she tried cooking last week, almost burnt the Institute to a crisp, Alexander,” Magnus informed them without looking up from his magazine. “But Simon usually intervenes before she’s able to get in there so you should be fine boys.” Magnus smiled, setting aside his reading. “Besides… Jalary will be there, and they’re hardly going to let their favourite nephews starve or get food poisoning!”

“Jalary, Papa?” Rafe made a face, continuing to throw assorted clothes to Alec which Alec would then fold neatly before putting into Rafe’s rucksack.

“No? Not feeling it?” Magnus huffed. “Me neither. We’ll keep trying variations Rafael, we’ll get one right eventually.” He made his way over to Max and dropped a kiss onto his blue head.  

Max fisted his hands into his father’s jacket, latching onto Magnus’ lapels. “I don’t understand why I can’t come with you and Dad, Papa! Please, I’ll be good I promise!”

“That’s not the issue, arándano, you know that,” Magnus swept the 8 year old into his arms, “you’d get bored immensely in Alicante; there are going to be meetings and meetings and meetings for all the 2 days. Here, you have your aunts and uncles, and Tavvy’s coming too, remember?”

“Tavvy’s coming?” Rafael had ceased his attack, allowing Alec to take over the packing.

Magnus looked at Alec, who smiled, “Yeah, Tavvy’s coming. So are Julian and Mark to drop him off. You can train with him for the next few days Rafe. Jace will be overseeing your training while I’m away.”

Rafe beamed at Alec, his black hair falling into his eyes. “So maybe a few days without you guys will be okay?” He directed the last bit at Max, who begrudgingly let go of Magnus’ coat but held onto his hand. Alex grabbed the last few toys and stuffed them into the rucksack that Rafe put on.

“Come on children, to the Institute we go!” Magnus exclaimed and waved his free hand, creating the Portal and walked through still holding onto Max followed closely by Rafael and Alec.

They arrived to find Izzy waiting for them in the entryway of the Institute.. Her face lit up.

“Hey kiddos, you excited to stay with your favourite aunt?” She held out her arms and Max leapt towards her. Rafael took his time, stepping away from his fathers and walking forward to embrace his aunt.

“I made some food for you guys too! Are you hungry?” Terror filled Max’s eyes.

Alec and Magnus shared a look.

“Izzy, they’ve eaten already.” Alec stepped forward to give her hug. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to feed my kids without Simon or Clary around to supervise you.”

“Hmph, supervision… I don’t need supervision, I got a new recipe book and I think I’m improving, I think you’ll find,” Izzy huffed.

“Tell that to the scorched ceiling of our kitchen Iz,.” Jace interrupted, grinning. His blonde hair fell into his eyes as  he sauntered toward them.

“Oh haha, Jace, you’re not funny,” Izzy scowled at him from under Alec’s arm.

“You’re right  Iz, I’m hilarious,” Jace’s grin grew wider at his brother and sister’s eye roll and groan respectively.

Alec’s phone went off blaring a code red. “What the…?” He dug in his pocket for his phone and swore under his breath. “It’s a Shadowhunter Alert, for Clary. She’s activated her SOS signal. We need to go.” Alec bent to face his sons, “Max, Rafael, stay in the Institute. Do whatever you want, but stay in the Institute. Papa is going to stay with you.” Alec fixed his hazel eyes on his eldest son’s brown ones. “I love you, Rafe.” He turned to Max, “I love you Max.”

Alec hugged each of them in turn before heading towards the weapons room to grab his bow and arrow.

Magnus murmured softly to them, before sending them toward the Head of the Institute’s office. Rafael grabbed hold of Max’s hand and tugged him towards the room. “Come on, Maxy, we gotta go wait for Tavvy. Do you think you could show me that thing Papa taught you, with the lights, again?”

“Alexander, are you sure you don’t me to come with you?” Magnus asked, worry flickering in his eyes. “I’m sure I could help but someone…”

“But someone needs to stay with the kids. We’ve gotta take turns remember?” Alec smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He reached out to cup Magnus’ face. “It’s okay, Magnus, we got this. Don’t worry.” He dropped his hands. “Maybe you could fire-message the Clave, tell them we’ll be late?”

Alec was reaching for another seraph blade to strap to his thigh holster when Magnus reached for Alec’s hands. Years and years of shooting arrows, left ridges and marks, memories of where his aim had hit home. He held them for a beat before raising his glamoured eyes to meet Alec’s hazel ones.

“Go do your job, Shadowhunter,” Magnus smiled and in answer, Alec’s smile was dazzling.

Jace and Izzy were checking weapons, when the Institute doors swung open again, to reveal Clary, bloodied and barely able to walk.

“Clary!” Jace almost tripped in his hurry to reach his girlfriend. “By the Angel, Clary are you okay?” She went limp in his arms, before murmuring “Simon” as she passed out.

Izzy’s face paled. “Simon… They were on patrol together, I didn’t even think, I thought,” Her hands went to her throat.

Jace laid Clary down on the marbled floor of the entryway, and looked up at Magnus desperately, “Magnus, please help me, please?”

Magnus knelt beside them and passed his hands over Clary’s prone body, and shot magic tendrils all over. “It looks much worse than it is, activate her healing rune, and blood replacement rune and I’ll heal her concussion.” He held her head gently and pulsed magic into Clary, while Jace drew his stele to activate her runes.

Clary came to with a sort of choking sound. “Simon! Simon, you have to,” she garbled. Jace sat behind her, supporting her

“Slow down, slow down, Biscuit,” Magnus snapped his fingers and produced a glass of water, which he proceeded to make Clary drink.

She gulped once, twice, before croaking, “Simon, we have to get him, please, he’s gone. We found a demon on patrol and we managed to kill it but then Azazel appeared from somewhere, and we fought and he just went for Simon. I think he thought he was you Alec,” Clary’s frantic eyes sought the dark-haired man kneeling before her. “Simon was holding his bow, and Azazel said something about revenge before he stabbed him. I think he thought he was you, and I tried to stop it, but he threw me into a wall, and he stabbed him, he stabbed Simon,” Clary stopped to wince in pain. She was breathing hard, “We have to go get Simon, we have to get my parabatai, I can’t breathe, Simon. My rune’s hurting Jace what does that mean, Simon’s fine, right?”

Magnus feathered a hand across her forehead and the panic in Clary’s mind ceased.

Alec reached forward, to hold her hand, and ask gently, “I know it hurts Clary, and I know he’s your parabatai, and I promise you, we will do whatever it takes to get him back. But I need you to tell me this: where did you get attacked by Azazel?”

Green, panicked eyes met his unnerved eyes; Clary seemed to draw the calm and tranquillity from Alec’s gaze into herself. “23rd and West, 20 blocks away.” She sounded less hysterical and shell-shocked now.

Alec straightened as did Magnus and Jace who supported Clary. “We should go Jace. Izzy stay with Clary, and get her properly checked by a medic. Call the Silent Brothers too. We’re going to bring him back, Clary, ok?”

“I’m coming with you!” Izzy and Clary spoke at the same time. They looked at each other, and nodded.

“Simon’s my parabatai, you’ll need me to track him. I’m not staying here for the Silent Brothers to fuss over me, Alec.” Fire sparked in Clary.

“He’s my husband, Alec, you’re not seriously expecting me to sit at home, and do nothing while you three go out to find him.” Izzy pushed back her right sleeve, to reveal the Wedded Union rune gleaming in the light of the entryway. “Clary goes, and I go, no ifs and buts, got it? Let’s go. We’re running out of time.”

Alec sighed and addressed Clary, “Fine, but if you look like you’re about to drop to me, I’m making you Portal you and Izzy while Jace and I retrieve Simon understood?” Clary nodded. He turned to his sister, “Understood Isabelle?”

“You have my word, Alec,” Izzy nodded solemnly.

“Then let’s go save Simon.”

“The tracking rune says he’s here.” Clary informed them. They stood before an empty building that didn’t look like it’d seen electricity or a proper sanitation system since… ever.  

“Split up and cover each floor, Jace and I will take the ground, Clary, Izzy, take the first floor,” Alec commanded. Izzy and Clary snuck off into the darkness of the abandoned building. Sounds surrounded the two parabatai that were left checking the ground floor. Clicking and hissing, clicking and hissing. Something slithered past Jace’s shoe.

“Ew, Alec, I think there are snakes in here,” Jace made a face.

“Focus Jace, that’s not a priority right now,” Alec hissed. “Besides I thought you hated ducks not snakes.”

“Alec, dude, why would you even bring them up?” Jace shuddered. “Wait, did you see that?”

“See what?”

“That, there! That flash of red, there, right there!” Jace pointed with his lit seraph blade.

“Uh, Jace I don’t think they’re flashes of red, I think they’re eyes. Demon eyes to be precise. And they’ve got us surrounded…” Alec knocked his arrow and aimed to the left, standing with his back to Jace.

A demon dropped onto the ground in front of Jace hissing and seething, venom slicking out of its open mouth. Jace lept forward, and thrust his blade downwards and twisted. The demon exploded into ichor and goo. That seemed like a signal, and demons started dropping from the ceiling.

Jace chuckled, “Look Alec, it’s raining demons!” before arcing his blade toward the nearest demons and cutting through. Alec rolled his eyes and began shooting those in the far range and close by.

It was like the stories said, parabatai always did fight better side by side.

Upstairs, the girls found Simon, his body crumpled and broken. Clary drew her sword, and nodded for Izzy to go ahead and check Simon’s state. Izzy rolled him over, to expose his ashen face, and shallow breathing while Clary kept watch. Izzy caressed his face, which was bloodied and bruised.

“Hey, Simon, hey,” His head lolled, and she moved her hands to support his head. “Simon, Simon, look at me, please.”

He opened his eyes, and Izzy could feel the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding loosen in her lungs. “Hi,” he whispered. She pressed her forehead against his, thanking the Angel over and over. He was alive. She pulled back, and smiled at him, a sure and arrogant smile, a smile that masked the pain and the worry she’d been feeling. “You know, I’m getting real tired of saving your life.”

“I’m not,” his laugh garbled out, drops of blood staining his shirt.

“We’re going to get you out of here ok? We’re leaving right now. I need a promise from you Simon, can you do that?” His eyes had shut. “Simon, are you listening?” She shook him, panic setting in

“Mm, I am,” he croaked his reply.

“Promise me you’re not going to die, promise me right now Simon!” She shook him again, harder this time.

“Promise Izzy, my Isabelle,” He sighed before passing out.

“Clary! Clary! I need you to make a Portal, right now, Clary!” Izzy screamed, her wrist throbbing.

Without another word, Clary drew the rune, and the Portal shimmered in front of Izzy. She held onto Simon, and started to drag him towards it.

“Izzy, I’m going to look for Azazel, okay? You get Simon to safety,” Now she knew Simon was safe, Clary had vengeance on her mind. Izzy nodded once before she wrapped her arms around Simon and pulled him towards the Portal. She heaved him through and they were in the entryway of the Institute.

“I need help! Someone help me, I need the Silent Brothers summoned right now. Help me!” Izzy screamed into the Institute. Magnus, Mark and Julian burst through the doors and swarmed her. Between them, Mark and Julian managed to lift Simon, and Magnus reached for Isabelle who swatted him away, saying “Help him, save him Magnus, please!” Her brown eyes, pleaded for the warlock to do something, anything.

“I’ll do what I can,” he vowed. And he turned and followed Mark and Julian towards the infirmary.  

Simon opened an eye. Then the other. His eyes adjusted to the light, or lack of, and he saw that he was looking at the ceiling of the Institute. The infirmary of the Institute. What was he doing here? A heavy weight seemed to be pressing down on either hand and he glanced down to find Izzy’s sleeping head on one hand, and Clary’s on the other. His parabatai, and his soulmate. Sleeping beside him, why though? He didn’t understand, and the want to sleep overpowered the questions.

When Simon woke again, there was daylight streaming in through the windows.

“Hey there Sleeping Beauty! Welcome back to the land of the living,” Jace smiled down at Simon.

“Thanks, Jace. What happened?” Simon wheezed out, struggling to sit up.

“Whoa, whoa, stand down soldier, you can’t get up just yet. It took a combination of Warlock and Silent Brother magic to make sure you didn’t croak on us, and I will not be blamed if you pass out again. Just sit tight while I go get Magnus and Brother Enoch would you? Wait, have some water before I go,” Jace held a cup to his lips and Simon gulped gratefully.

“Thanks Jace,” Simon smiled.

“Yeah, yeah, just hold on for a bit ok?” Jace shot him a look before running off.

After being cleared physically by Brother Enoch and Magnus, Simon was told he couldn’t actually leave the infirmary just yet, because he needed to be kept under observation. He began to receive a steady stream of visitors – Max and Rafe bearing cards and drawings, Alec and Magnus, Jace and of course Clary, who’s sadness he felt pulling at his own heart. He reassured her he was fine, and he was alive and he was fine again, and only then did he feel some sort of relief and happiness emanate from her.

But it wasn’t until the small hours of the morning that the one face he’d wanted to see since he’d awakened, appeared before him.

She stepped up to the bed, running her fingers through his hair, and kissing his cheek. He opened his arms, and wordlessly, she sat down, and lay beside him, her head resting on his chest, just above where she could hear his heartbeat thud, thud, thud.

A sound, she was so sure, she wouldn’t hear again.

“You’re awful you know that?” She shuddered.

“How so?” He threaded his fingers through hers and secured one arm around her.

“Massive internal bleeding, a severe concussion, broken ribs, fractured skull, a slipped disc in your spine, and a broken leg.” Her voice got quieter. “You almost died, and ripped my heart out, Simon.”

He kissed the top of her head, “I’m sorry you worried, I’m sorry but I’m still here. I’m here and I love you. I’ll always love you Isabelle.” Still, she didn’t relax. “What is it? What are you not telling me Izzy?”

She raised herself up from his chest, tears glittering in her eyes, “I was terrified Simon, terrified that I was going to lose you, that I’d never see you again. That the one person I loved so much would go somewhere I couldn’t follow. That I was going to have to raise this kid on my own, that he would never know his dad like I knew him.” And the tears spilled over, running down her face, making track marks down her cheeks.

He gripped her chin, “I would never, ever, willingly go somewhere where you couldn’t come with me. You are something I thank the Angel for everyday Isabelle, and I am so grateful that you chose me all those years- wait, did you say kid?” Simon felt his jaw drop.

And she laughed through her tears, “Yes I did, we’re going to have a baby, Simon. Brother Enoch confirmed it two days ago.”

“A baby,” Simon said, dumbstruck.

“A baby,” Izzy repeated, smiling.

Simon didn’t know whether to cry or whoop so he did the only thing he knew, he kissed her. He kissed her hello and good morning and thank you and everything he could possibly think to convey in his kisses. “I love you, I love you, Izzy, my Isabelle.” He kissed away her tears and the paths they made on her face.

“I asked you for a promise 4 days ago, when you almost died, and you came through. So I’m going to ask you for another tonight,” she cupped his face in her hands. “Promise me you’ll love him or her, as much as you love me, that you’ll always be here, to guide our children through their training and rune ceremonies and first steps and…”

“Star Wars movie marathons and first bicycle rides and I’ll teach them to ride a bike and swim and I will protect them from anything that may harm them, I promise Isabelle,” Simon stopped to take a breath, and leaned his forehead against his wife’s, “I swear on the Angel.”

[dc-marvel-imagines]

I Will Save Mom - Barry Allen/The Flash x Daughter Reader (Part 5)

Summary: As time came to a close where you heard of your mothers death, you made a high risk choice. Keeping your promise you decided to go back in time to save your mother...but not without a price that was switched.

Part 6 (FINAL) : http://dc-marvel-imagines.tumblr.com/post/161048130356/i-will-save-mom-barry-allenthe-flash-x-daughter

**In The Future**

Barry found you in the room where he kept a picture of the three of you in, he saw you looking at it as he also heard you crying silently.

"(y/n)?" Barry asked. "Dad...I'm losing my memories of my time in the past with mom..." You cried.

This was so cruel being able to finally know who your mother was brought such happiness to you. But since you returned to the future, your own time-line where she isn't around anymore the memories started to fade due to her not being there in this time-line.

Barry walked up to you and hugged you, ever since he stepped up and started to be more of a father to you he realized just how damaged you had become over the years of pain you went through. Being here for you now couldn't compare to before but he knew you still needed him, you were still a teenager.

"I'm here (y/n), I'm not sure how long my past self will take until he can save your mother but I believe he can." Barry said. "I lied to him...I said I would help but in reality I left to go see who mom was..." You told. "It's fine, I had a feeling you always wanted to know." Barry replied with.

It took a few minutes until your tears stopped and when they did Barry took you Big Belly Burger to have some lunch, though the promise was still on your mind of what you told your dad's past self. When questioned if you were alright you smiled at your father and nodded saying you were just lost in thought.

'I can't let him know what I plan to do to save mom....' You thought.

You plan? To go back in time last minute when no one was around and save your mother just in time. You did over hear your father scream at his past self at what day it would be and what time she'd die so you'd have to make it quick.

'I'm not afraid to go do this...I'll be born either way and dad could still focus on beating him so it's not like I won't be alive in a few months or so...' You thought.

But you feared it would pain your father in this time with that you were planning to do. Although it was the only option you had until you were sure your mother would live in the future with your father..

Besides...speedsters can heal quick as well right?...

No one in the team knew of your plan considering you kept it a secret, and as the day came and went it was finally the day of your mothers death...time to place your plan in action. But before that you created a video.

Setting up the camera in your room you pressed play and walked to the chair in front of it, sitting down you sighed and looked at the camera.

"Hey dad, I know you said it was alright that I just wanted to go to the past to see mom. But I made a promise to the you of the past...that I'd save mom...and I have every intention of keeping that promise...so as your daughter I'm going back in time once more to try my best to save her. Don't be disappointment in me though cause I just want you to be happy again, whenever you'd speak about her you'd get so happy but then in the end so sad....I'm doing this for you and for me....I want mother in our lives and I'll make sure to save her so she can be. Goodbye...daddy." You smiled to the camera, stopping it.

Taking a deep breath you took out the chip that held your video to your father and placed it in a small case, speeding to the lab you placed it where your uncle Cisco always would sit at, putting on your hero suit you then made way to go back into the future.

Running and running you pushed yourself to go faster and faster...fast enough to open a breach to then focus on going to the past. You had to do it!! You will! When the breach opened you glared at it with determination and focused on the little memories you had left of the past and ran inside, at the same time Cisco, Barry and the others were notified of a breach opening in the lab but soon as they got here it was gone and so were you.

**In The Past**

Savatair already had Iris in front of him preparing to kill her like he had said, like Barry had seen. Today was judgement day and things were already going down like how he saw it before.

"Don't! Don't do this!" Barry shouted. "Now finally I am free of you!" Savatair said. "Barry I love you." Iris said. "Don't say that, your gonna be alright. I'm begging you please! She's pregnant!" Barry shouted. "Barry!" Iris shouted. "You lose, Barry." Savatair said pulling a spear from his suit. "NO!!!" Barry shouts.

Just as Barry was running towards Iris to save her and Savatair was about to stab Iris to kill her a breach opened behind him, with a flash of red and yellow Iris was pushed into Barry's arms and a painful gasp was heard.

Confused Barry checked if Iris was alright, which she was but when he looked up his eyes widen and once Iris looked behind her to see who saved her in time she gasped and screamed a little.

Right there standing in front of Savatair was you, his spear that was made from his suit went straight through you.

"I kept.....my promise....to you....dad....mom..." You said. "Foolish girl...you managed to trick me with making me believe you were gonna stay in your time line." Savatair hissed out. "I out....smarted you..." You smirked looking over your shoulder at him.

Savatair pulled the spear out of your chest and speed off pissed, falling forwards Barry and Iris both caught you in their arms each one of them sitting on either side of you. Iris was already crying as she held your hand.

"Why...why did you return?" Barry said, voice shaking. "I made....a promise....and I....kept them...." You said slowly. "You said you'd save me and you have....but there had to be another way!" Iris said. "There....wasn't time..." You continued on to speak slowly. "We have to get her back to the lab!" Iris said, she saw your eyes closing a little. "Yeah we can't just let her die..." Barry agreed.

Barry made sure Iris stayed really close to his side, picking you up in to his arms he carried you to the van Joe had driven here and anyone else that came with him to stop Savatair began to rush back to save you.

But time wasn't on their side like usual since you voice out at some point you were feeling so sleepy that your eyes slowly closed a bit more, Iris and Barry told you to try to stay awake for a while longer as they were almost there. But by the time they arrived your eyes were closed.

**Time Skip**

Thanks to you being your fathers daughter you were able to be saved in time, but no one in the lab knew when you would wake up to be honest and Barry had a feeling his future self would soon return to this time to ask about where you were or if you were okay.

How the hell would he tell his future self that his daughter nearly died just to save her mother?

Iris though never once left your side, she held your hand as she watched your face. She wanted to see the eyes you seemed to have the same kind like Barry's. Right now though she just noticed how much you looked like the both of them, you had Barry's speed, his hair color, his eyes but you looked so much like her as well.

"(y/n)..thank you for saving me. But if it had to be my life over yours I wouldn't have wanted it to turn out like that...I'm still your mother either way and I just want you to be safe.." Iris said, stroking your hair.

Barry could hear Iris speaking to you and it hurt a bit, even if you were from a different time line you still were their daughter and since Iris had recently told them that she was pregnant it proved it ten times over that you were their kid. Then again the looks and the speed powers proved it without a doubt more.

Walking up behind her he placed his hand on her shoulder and frowned when he saw her teary eyes. Bending down he hugged her to his chest as she leaned into his embrace, it was comforting to say the least but still their future daughter was the one they were worrying about and not just them really everyone was.

"How is she doing?" H.R asked. "She's stable but it's more so thanks to her powers...they are the one's that saved her." Cisco said. "I didn't expect (y/n) to suddenly appear and save Iris in time..." Joe commented. "She must've predicted the time and place where Iris would be at to when she was to be killed." Julian explained. "That explains the reaction from Savatair...he didn't expect (y/n) to just come back to the past. He thought he scared her off and when she appeared it ruined his plans." Cisco just realized. "Which means the Barry from the future may or may not know of her actions..." Julian said. "Oh this is getting more and more horrible.." Cisco said. "We might get a visit from this future Barry once he realizes his daughter from that time line is gone." Joe stated. "What do we even say?" Cisco asked. "The truth." Joe said. "Well it is true we didn't know she was planning this, we also didn't know that she would suddenly come back in time to the past to do this...we didn't know we even thought she'd stay in her time line." Julian told them.

He was right no one here expected this to be the turn of events, they all thought that it was gonna be over since Iris was gonna be dying soon and yet this happens? Just how did you know when and where to be at to save Iris's life?

**Back In The Future**

Barry and the others watched the video and Barry was livid, he pushed all the papers and folders off the desk in front of him his mind and thinking was going straight, how the hell could you be so stupid as to do this?! You were all he had left!!

"Cisco prepare actions to create a breach where she's at!" Barry yelled. "Are you sure? Where she's at its where..." Cisco said. "I don't care! I need my daughter back!" Barry yelled. "Okay okay..." Cisco sighed and got it all ready.

Getting into his suit Barry soon as well speed off around to open a breach to where you were, he knew in his heart you were in the time where Iris dies right before him and it broke his heart. He'd have to maybe re-live that moment all over again but what makes it worse you might just see how she died and witness it yourself. Barry didn't want that at all.

Shaking his head he focused on speeding to the time line you were in so he could bring you back home with him safely.

**Back In The Past**

"Uhh Barry...a breach is opening..." H.R said. "He's coming...." Cisco said. "He's here for (y/n)." Barry sighed.

When the breach dissapeared the others saw the future version of Barry, his stare was more harsh, his hair was longer as if he never once cut it. But he was indeed a bit taller then before.

"Where is she?" Future Barry asked. "We need to talk..." Barry sighed.

Bringing his future self into the cortex he explained everything that happened, that Iris was still alive but you were the one who gained the injury that was meant for Iris.

"Wait...she saved Iris?" Future Barry asked. "Yeah, she showed up out of no where and saved her..." Cisco said.

When we was lead to the room you were in his expression turned into worry and pain, there you were laying on the stretcher like bed with your eyes closed and an oxygen mask over your mouth. Your suit was in a small bin beside you as you were changed into some sweats and a tank top. He could see the white bandage over your chest as they had to wrap some of it on your shoulder to hold better.

"Oh (y/n)..." Future Barry said as he went to your side.

Holding your hand he hid his face on your arm, he hoped you'd wake up soon since he couldn't lose you even though since you saved your mother you'd still be born but until then he'd still want to at his side until the future with your mother came around for the two of you.

"Please wake up soon....(y/n)." Future Barry whispered.

||A/N: And here’s part 5!! I think this series only needs either one or two more parts then it might come to and end not sure...but I hope you like the fact I changed it up a bit for you all!! And sorry if some of these have some spoilers to the new episode but by now I think people should have a idea...anyways enjoy!!||

[devynwright-writesimagines]

Nightmares // Julian Albert x Reader

Summary: You had noticed Julian's recent nightmares and were attempting to wait for him to come to you to talk about it. Though, when he refuses to tell you what's going on you mind tells you what must've happened and your reaction puts you in grave danger. Word count: 2,038 Warnings: mentions of cheating and sex, implied sexual harassment --- Julian just wanted to leave everything that happened with Alchemy in the past. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He thought when the Philosopher's Stone was gone he could just move on. Except it wasn't that easy. Every night he had nightmares of all the people he hurt, of savitar's voice inside his head. You had been noticing he was acting strange but he never told you what was troubling him. It was unlike him to not tell you what was wrong, for the past two years you'd been together he told you everything. You knew that it must be something he's not ready to discuss if he hasn't told you yet. You wanted to know but you didn't want to pry. You made sure to constantly tell him that you'd be there to listen as soon as he is ready to talk about it. It pained you to see him hurting and to know that he was bottling up all of his emotions. You felt him jolt awake and could hear his heavy breathing. You turn on your side to face him and see him sitting up, elbows to his knees, and head in his hands. You hear light, quiet sobs escaping from his mouth and your heart breaks to see him like this. You sit up and run a hand up and down his bare back, not saying anything and just letting him calm down. He begins to relax at your touch but you can still feel the tension in his muscles. You place a hand on his forearm and he pulls his head from his hands to look at you. "Do you want to talk about it," you ask lightly while sliding your hand down his arm to intertwine your fingers. "No," he chokes out, fiddling with your fingers. "I just want to forget about it." "You can't forget about it by keeping everything in," the hand you hand on his back moves to his cheek, he melts into your palm and looks into your eyes. "I don't want things between us to be ruined," he says just above a whisper. Your heart sinks, you don't know what he did but by the sounds of that it's not good. There are few things that could jeopardize the relationship you two have and your face falls when you think about what he could've done. When the thought crosses your mind you remove your hands from him and place them in your lap. You just stare at them and try to fight the urge to cry, even though tears are filling your eyes. At first he is confused at your change in demeanor, then he realizes the only thing that could be going through your head. "No, no, no," he quickly grabs your hands. "It's not that, I didn't cheat on you. I swear on my life." "You have been gone a lot of nights recently," you say. "How can you explain that?" He sighs, "I can't." The first tear falls from your eye. "Okay," you choke before getting up and out of bed. "Where are you going?" Julian asks, concerned, as you put on a shirt and some leggings. "To clear my head," you say while putting on a cardigan and boots. "Y/N, listen, you have to believe that it wasn't that." "I can't Julian," you snap and you can see him tense up. "You haven't been around most nights, you won't tell me what's going on with you, when was the last time we even had dinner together? And I can't even recall the last time we had sex so it wouldn't surprise me that your getting it from someone else," all your sadness had turned to rage, you cross your arms and lean onto your hip. "Please, just believe me," he looks up at you with his bright blue, puppy eyes. A look that use to make you do anything, but not now. "I'll believe it when you prove it," you go to walk out the bedroom door. "Y/N it's 3 a.m. It's not safe to be walking around the city." You ignore him and just keep walking, you make sure to slam the door of your apartment shut. You stand in the hallway for a moment. Waiting to hear Julian's footsteps coming after you but they never come. You shake your head and head for the stairs, that's enough for you to prove you're right. --- Julian wakes up the next morning and sees you're still not home. He wanted to go after you when you left but seeing you walk away broke him. He couldn't move or speak, all he could do was sob and sob. He cried himself to sleep and woke up to his pillowcase still damp from his tears. He did his best to pull himself together and get ready for work. He couldn't hide that his eyes were red, puffy, and bloodshot and he didn't even have the energy to fix his hair. He just put on some clothes and left for the precinct. When he got to the lab he was surprised to see Barry already there. He would've made a snarky remark about Barry being early for once in his life but he couldn't even muster up enough energy for that. He just went straight to his desk, saying nothing. Barry looked at him for a second, awaiting the snarky remark he undoubtedly deserved. It never came, Julian immediately pulled out some files and got to work. Barry tilted his head in confusion, that's when he noticed it. He could tell Julian had been up all night, he could see he'd been crying and that his normal scowl was more of a saddened pout. "Hey, Julian are you okay?" Barry asks. "I'm fine, Allen," he replied, except Barry could tell by his tone he was indeed not fine. Before Barry could say anything Joe runs into the room. "Barry we need you to head down to a crime scene and Julian I need you to come with me." Barry knowing Julian was having a rough day thought maybe solving a case would lighten him up. "I think Julian should head down to the scene," he says. "He's a better CSI." "No, I need him to head over to the hospital with me." "Hospital?" Julian stands up. "Why?" Worry starts to fill his voice, the only thing running through his head is you. Joe lets out a sigh, "It's Y/N, she got hurt last night. She was found just a little over an hour ago, it was bad. Barry needs to go look at the crime scene and Julian you should see Y/N. I can explain more to you on the way." Julian feels sick to his stomach as Joe told him the whole story during the car ride to the Central City Hospital. It happened barely two blocks from your apartment building. All the police knew so far was that you had been pulled into a back alley and were stabbed. The only thing keeping her from bleeding out was the switchblade remaining lodged in her stomach. That was all the knew, they hadn't gotten a statement from you yet. When you were found you were out cold and all the anesthetics are continuing to keep you that way. Julian feels the air knocked out from his lungs when he steps into your hospital room. The sight of your weak, limp body would surely be enough to cause him to break down again, but there were no tears left in him. "I'll give you two your space," Joe rests a hand on Julian's shoulder before exiting the room. Julian stands in the doorway, mouth hanging a gap for a few moments before walking towards you. He sits in a chair next to your hospital bed and takes your normally warm hand in his, shivers go up his spine when he feels how cold you are. He sighs running his free hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," he breathes out. "This is all my fault," he shakes his head before taking your hand in both of his. "I swear as soon as your up I'll explain everything," he rests his head on your hand. "I'll make this better, I promise," a tear slips down his cheek. "I'm so sorry," he repeats over and over again. --- An hour passes, Julian's head still rests on your hand. "So, this is Y/N?" He hears a voice in the doorway ask. He looks up to see Barry leaning on the door frame. He nods before turning back to her. "You've never mentioned her." "In case you haven't noticed I don't consider you a close friend, do I, Allen?" He remarks, eyes fixated on your features. "What did you learn from the scene?" "Well, she was found around six, from the looks of the scene and the wound she must've been stabbed around five," Barry explains. "That makes no sense," Julian shakes her head. "She left at three, the scene was only two blocks from our apartment it wouldn't take her two hours to get there." "Maybe she was walking back," Barry suggest. "No, I know where she was going and she wouldn't go by the alley where she was found." "I guess we just have to wait until she wakes up to know what happened in that time gap. I'll leave you two alone until then," he says before leaving the room. Julian caresses your face, "What happened to you?" He whispers. He studies your face. He notices your eyes rapidly moving while shut, just as they would if you were having a nightmare. Your breathing picks up, your chest moving up and down frantically. Your heart rate steadily goes up and sweat begins to trickle down your face. Julian grows worried at the sight, not knowing what to do, if he should wake you up or not. You start to mumble something, "Don't touch, don't touch me," you repeat, getting louder. You jolt awake panting. "Y/N," Julian places a hand on the small of your back. "No!" You shout causes him to back off. "Don't touch me," you bury your head in your hands, starting to cry. "Love, what happened," he quietly asks. "He was so scary," you choke out. "Who?" He asks but you stay silent. "Baby, who was it?" "I don't know," your voice is a whisper, you hug your knees into your chest. "It was dark and I was blindfolded," the tears stream down your face. "And then-then-" you couldn't finish the sentence. Julian can already put two and two together. "Y/N, I'm so sorry this happened," he says, ashamed of himself. He knows this is all his fault, he should've just told you the truth from the start. "This is all my fault," he hesitantly places a hand on you back. He can feel your body shake as you cry. "I should've told you what was going on." "Julian, I don't care to think about that right now," your voice is muffled due to the fact your head is still buried in your knees. You turn your head so your cheek is resting on your knee and your facing him, except you can't make eye contact. You take one of his hands in yours, your grip weak. "Can you just lay with me?" Your voice is almost as weak as your grip. "Anything, love," he says before crawling next to you on your small hospital bed. You rest your head and a hand on his chest. You sigh as you grasp and release the material of his shirt. Your mind is filled with the memories that will forever be embedded in your brain. You screaming and fighting, trying to escape but nothing worked. Then, Julian's arms wrap around you and suddenly you feel safe again. "I'll never let anything like this happen again," he speaks, softly. "I promise," he whispers before kissing the top of your head. "I love you." Julian smiles at your words, glad that even though there's some damage you're here. You're safe in his arms. "I love you, too."

[starkidlabs]

Ice and Comic books

Julian comes to Star Labs looking for a solution to a problem. Cisco then recollects the pain and suffering he has already endured and will endure if he can’t help the person that matters the most to him.

A fic centred around Ciscos thoughts and feelings of the past few years, Caitlin Snow and Comic books.

Pairings: Killervibe, Julian/Caitlin (hinted)

Rated: S for sad.

Comic books had always been a source of comfort for cisco, on the dark nights where his parents would argue for hours until a door slammed shut and a car sped over the gravel of the drive, where he would wonder if his father or mother would come back at all. On the days where the other kids laughed and pointed whilst they pushed him face first into sticky mud of the football field. And on the days where he would come home  only for his brother to tug on his hair, call him names knowing he would get nothing but praise for it. When the tears would start to slowly stream down his face He would curl up under his blanket, flashlight in hand and read. Read of ordinary people with extraordinary powers and how they overcame every challenge they faced. Read of action and adventure and of the life he wished he had. But now things were different. Now

he had lived in the world of superheroes and supervillains he would give anything to go back. He sat at his workshop desk Sipping a slushie and flipping through an old issue of Spiderman. Peter Parker had been a sort of role model to cisco when he was young, although he had a terrible past he never let it fester inside him and instead became an incredible inventor, with a good heart and a great sense of humour. But somehow now cisco had powers these comics seemed more unrealistic than ever. It wasn’t just the science behind them or even the fact that all the villains chose their own names but it was the way they all seemed to forget so easily. How at the beginning of each new arch their emotional scars would be healed and the death of their parents would seem to be the only thing that resonated with them. But that wasn’t the case for cisco. He could still remember everything so vividly. Ronnie being locked into the pipeline, the echoing shot of the gun that stopped Bette’s hearts, Iris’ painful screams as Eddie lay bleeding out on the floor, the list of people who were dead because of his inventions, the cracking of his ribs as the man he trusted stuck his hand through his chest and so much more pain that surely would be with him for a lifetime. But now not only did he have to add the image of someone he cared deeply about being stabbed through the heart as she cried his friends name but he also had to hold the knowledge that the person he loved more than anyone else would soon turn into the thing she feared the most. Caitlin snow was the last constant in Cisco’s life, she had been there with him through every hardship and every battle, she was his best friend, and she was…..so much more than that. And now thanks to her ‘superpowers’ he may lose her for good, he would lose a part of himself. Cisco scrunched up his nose and frowned down at the comic. There was nothing amazing about having powers. He crumpled the paper between his hands and threw it across the room, it bounced pathetically off the wall and landed on the ground. Cisco stared at it for a while letting himself ease out of reality. After a while he placed his hand over his face and sighed. Tears began to form in his eyes as he felt his mouth tremble. Why couldn’t he be stronger? Why couldn’t he be happy? Why did he have to make everything about him? He placed the half empty slushie cup on the table, he was no longer in the mood for a sugar rush. Then he heard a loud knocking on the door frame that lead to the corridor. Cisco threw his head up to the ceiling and took a deep breath before spinning around on his chair to face the doorway. Julian Albert stood staring at him with a rather forced smile. The atmosphere became a little uneasy. Julian chocked a little before muttering.

“Can I come in” He then paused. “Or am I interrupting something…..I can drop by later…or…”Cisco sat up straighter on his chair and scratched the back of his neck.

“No its fine.” he said bluntly. Julian shuffled in, evaluating his surroundings as he did so. They had never really spoken much before a few weeks ago. Cisco had taken prejudice towards him before they even met simply due to Barry’s description. The only time cisco had ever come to know anything about him from his own account was when they discovered he was Dr Alchemy. To begin with he was sceptical that he was being truthful despite what Barry had done to the timeline he still trusted his dislike towards Julian. But then Savitar got in his head. The weight of all the pain and suffering he had been through had toppled onto him all at once. He felt so much anger, so much hatred, he felt all sense of himself, of the people he love, slip away as savitar latched himself onto his conscience. He felt ready to abandon all happiness. He felt ready for…. After that moment cisco began to wonder how Julian could have that sensation on his shoulders for years and all the while thinking he was going mad. Julian now carried himself with less confidence than he did before. He stood next to the desk scratching an imaginary itch on his hand. A twinge of guilt washed over cisco for being so blunt. For thinking he still had any part of Savitar within him. He decided to lighten up the mood a tad. “So what brings you to my humble abode?” Julian half smiled.

“Ah well….It’s about you friend Caitlin snow.” Cisco’s ears pricked up and felt his heart rate grow faster. Did Julian know what path lay ahead of her? Had Caitlin already told him? Flashes of the headline and then of Iris death appeared in his mind. He shuffled on his chair a little.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He raised his head in concern.

“Well you see, she came to me yesterday expressing her concern about becoming…..” He chose not to use the term ‘killerfrost’.  “Her. And because you’re the only other No Csi Scientist I know I was wondering if….” Cisco cut his sentence short.

“If id help design something to prevent her powers from taking over.” Cisco was slightly surprised that the man Caitlin threatened to kill actually wanted to see her safe. He guessed that all the support she gave him after the alchemy situation showed him who she truly was. That was Caitlin, the real Caitlin, showing kindness not matter the odds.

“Precisely.” Julian replied in his harry potter esq British accent. The chair squeaked slightly as cisco rose from his place. He walked over to a nearby draw and Julian’s eyes followed him. A silver wire wrapped around his fingers as he held the small object in his hand. He chewed the inside of his mouth and smiled a little before he faced the other man. he clenched his fist slightly and raised the necklace in the air for Julian to plainly see.

“What is it?” Julian edged closer and squinted, he was slightly worried about touching it. Cisco admired his own work for a while before speaking.

“Well I’ve been working on it a while now. It’s a sort of improvement on the power dampening cuffs I made….considering those were only a prototype they actually did the job pretty good.” He lingered. “You, see Caitlin was complaining on how she had to recharge them and to be fair I had to alter her phones battery to last longer because she always came to work with it on 2% so I could tell it was a strenuous task for her.” Julian grasped the enclave in his hand and began expecting the glowing snowflake. Cisco peered over slightly. “It’s Solar powered. Which means that whenever cait steps out into the sun it’ll start charging. Which gives her an excuse not to lock herself away…” his heart became heavy at the thought. “And besides the cuffs weren’t the most comfortable things on earth. I could see they irritated her whilst she worked, they probably rubbed against her skin.” He paused yet again. “And I noticed she couldn’t wear that bracelet Ronnie gave to her anymore because the cuffs were too big. And I know how much it means to her.” He sighed at the thought of his dead friend and of how, for so many months, he sat next to Caitlin comforting her as she sobbed into her pillow and refused to sleep. And now came the sudden thought of history repeating itself but this time with Barry and Iris, how he would be devastated at the loss of a person who means so much to him yet he couldn’t let it show because he’d have to support the other who just lost their world.

“Who’s Ronnie?” Julian raised an eyebrow. Cisco was taken slightly aback by the fact that Caitlin hadn’t ever mentioned Ronnie to him. He remembered the light that would fill her eyes whenever his name was mentioned. He remembered knowing when they first met that they were soulmates and that she would love nobody else but him. But he guessed things change. He was glad she was trying to forget about her past. About everything she’s been through.

“He was her husband… He died saving central city.” Cisco didn’t look up in fear that the tears welling up in his eyes would begin to fall.

“Oh.” Julian whispered solemnly, he was clearly surprised about this new knowledge. The atmosphere became uneasy once more. The silence was long and deafening. Julian cross examined the necklace once more, he stared at the brilliant blue charm at the end of it. “Why the snowflake… I mean it’s pretty. But surely Caitlin wouldn’t want to be reminded of her powers every time she looks at it.”

“I know it’s ironic…” cisco laughed a little. “But trust me Caitlin will love it. The fact that the thing that could break her is also protecting her. She needs to stop seeing ice as a completely bad thing, she needs to see how beautiful snow can be….”he pictured her in his mind before coughing and quickly adding. “And if she ever wants a suit it’ll be a pretty sick logo.” Julian nodded indicating that he understood. Cisco looked at him, he seemed so tired. He could clearly see the decolouration that had formed under his eyes. He was nervous   and agitated, still Frightened of becoming Alchemy but trying his best to hide it but Cisco could see right through him. It was clear that Julian was trying to make amends, that he was trying to do something good. That he was hoping he could create something for Caitlin and show he was a changed man. He looked disappointed that cisco had beaten him to it.

“Well as you’ve solved Caitlin’s problem, I guess I’ll be on my way.” He went to place the jewellery back into Cisco’s hand but it was pushed back into his palm.

“You should give it to Caitlin.” Cisco muttered and gave a reassuring smile.

“What? No I couldn’t possibly. I didn’t contribute towards it what so ever.” He looked almost offended at the thought.

“Believe me Julian it will mean more to her coming from you.” He dragged his hand slowly down his face and then rested it on his mouth. A confused expression appeared on the other man. Cisco bit his lip and continued. “Caitlin may trust me but she also trusts you, maybe it’s down to guilt, instinct or … something much more than that.” Cisco unintentionally frowned a little before quickly smiling again. “But it’s not enough just for cait to trust you. You need to show her that you trust her too and by giving her this…” he gestured towards the necklace. “You’re saying that her powers no longer scare you and you have faith in her. By presenting her the necklace you’re showing how committed you are in making her whole again.”

“But why me? I mean of course I care about her…..But why would Caitlin snow need to know I trust her? Why not just you or Allen or someone else? “Julian asked in a serious tone, it seemed like he was put off by the thought. Cisco set back down at his desk, why was Julian protesting so much?

“Because I’m not…what she needs right now…she believes you’re the same side of the coin. You’re both scared of what you may become.” Julian wanted to protest but he knew it was true. “You’re scared of the power you possess. Scared that the power will take over, control you, make you do things that you don’t want to do. You think you’ll hurt innocent people or those you love. That youll start to believe you’re invincible, you’re …you’re… A God. And you’ll lose all sense of good and morality and of yourself and that you’ll end up becoming the thing you hate most. “He stopped to breath. “Caitlin’s scared that shell become Killer Frost and I’m…”

“And I’m scared that I’ll become Dr Alchemy.” Julian interrupted. With a solemn and understanding look. ‘And I’m Scared that will become reverb.’ Cisco finished in his own head. He choked back the tears and turned away slightly. He’d almost forgotten Julian was in the room. He had forgotten yet again that this wasn’t about him but about someone else. And he’d forgotten what it was like to tell someone about all his fears and anxieties. He always had to be the moral support, care for others first and make things a little lighter. The only time he had ever let loose any of his deepest thoughts was when Dante died and he found out that Barry caused it. And look how that turned out. Everyone seemed to turn on him, take Barry’s side because he was no longer the fun loving cisco they all could laugh at. They saw Barry’s guilt as more painful than losing someone you cared about deeply at the hand of a friend. They would rather turn a blind eye to his pain because it was expressed in anger. The people he used to cheer up, build inventions for, and risk his life trying to save would rather let him suffer than utter a kindness. That’s why he knew he had to keep this all in. Luckily Julian would conclude this speech was a prediction rather than a soul eating anxiety that burrowed deep inside of him. Julian wasn’t all clued up on others emotions.

“All I want is for Caitlin to be able to know someone has faith in her. Someone who knows what she’s been going through… All I want is for Caitlin to be happy.” Cisco whispered. “She needs to be happy.” For his sake. Julian looked at his feet and then back up.

“I…I understand… “Julian stuttered “But it’s clear you made this.” He was wrapping the necklace around his fingers. “I may be a csi but I’m no engineer.” Cisco shut his eyes for a few seconds, allowing himself to calm down.

“Well then we present it to her together. After I can say it was your idea…. Your design. That you suggested it should be solar powered” He grinned. “But you give it to her… tonight at the house warming. Buy her a nice box and make her feel special. I can stand by your side tell her we made it, but you have to be the one to physically give it to her. To show her that you’ll be by her side, that you trust her.” Julian still looked reluctant. “please.” He begged. Julian screwed up his mouth, he didn’t like being ordered about at the best of times especially when being told to take credit for something he didn’t do. But then he looked at cisco who’s eyes glistened with tears, he could tell that he cared about her deeply, If he really believed that this was for the best then…

“Ok, I will.” Carefully he placed the device in his pocket. Then he stood and stared for a while to make sure there was nothing left to say. Cisco ran his hand through his hair turned to his computer pretending he had to get back to work. “I’ll… see you late then.”

“Yeah seeya.” Cisco said cheerfully. Julian strode to the door patting his pocket just encase the necklace had somehow escaped from it. He made a sharp turn and his quite hum echoed from the hallway. Cisco was alone. The comic began to uncrumple and the image of the amazing Spiderman became visible once again.

                           ———————————————-

The warm welcoming glow touched every corner of Barry and Iris’ flat as the celebration began to swing into motion. Many happy memories would take place in this apartment for years to come. From the plotted plants to the fluffed up cushions, to Barry’s new turtle friend, everything about it spelt home. Julian and Caitlin began to sip on the crisp wine that Barry had delivered straight from Sicily. Caitlin was already spouting about some new concept she discovered whilst testing a metas genes. Julian was listening intently and occasionally adding sound pieces of advice, He was the leading Meta expert after all. Cisco just stood by and laughed along with them, not particularly concentrating, not completely happy, but he laughed. Like he always did. Laughed at Caitlin’s terrible jokes and Julian’s reaction to them. He caught the turtle shift in its bowl through the corner of his eye, it was trying to eat some lettuce. Then he felt a sudden touch on his arm. He turned to see Julian raising his eyebrow towards him. Cisco snapped back and faced Caitlin. Her smile was still shining from the previous conversation. The tiny happy crinkles had appeared at her eyes which cisco hadn’t recalled seeing since her long drunken chat on the night zoom was defeated. Where she had muttered ‘I love you’ with a profound sincerity before curling up and resting her head on his lap as she fell into a deep sleep. She didn’t remember that night maybe it was because she was full of alcohol or because the timeline had changed. But cisco did. He remembered his heart skipping a beat as new sense of joy filled his heart. As if something had suddenly clicked inside his brain.

“Julian and I were talking about your battery problem with your cuffs.” He swished his wine lightly in his hand as he spoke “We decided we’d invest in an alternate accessory” Caitlin nodded slightly. Expecting nothing more than a new set of shackles. But when Julian produced the small leather box her smile faded and was replaced with a look of shock. The box was opened.

“Voila.” Julian beamed. The blue snowflake shone as if it was a star guiding a lost traveller to sanctuary. “Every time you go outside solar energy will recharge it” Caitlin’s eyes became brighter, the swirls of caramel and honey within them became clearer in the charms light. She stared at Julian as if she had seen a whole new part of him that had never been discovered. His smile grew wider as he began to feel her happiness radiate upon him. Cisco was right, it meant the world to her coming from Julian. Caitlin’s head tilted a little before her brow furrowed.

“Guys this means so much to me. Thank you” Her eyes switched from Julian to cisco before grasping the box in her hand.

“Of course.” Cisco whispered with a form of nervousness. Caitlin excitedly removed the necklace from its bed. They watched the chain twist in her delicate fingers. Cisco stared carefully in fear that something would go wrong. He had tested it on himself a thousand times yet he was still paranoid. Julian’s smile was a bright as ever yet Ciscos has dropped slightly in concentration. As Caitlin lifted her cinnamon curled hair cisco noticed how her porcelain skin contrasted with it so well. She fastened the clip as the corners of her lips began to curl into a smile, her deep eyes shone in the light. The necklace made her look more radiant, made her smile look ever more beautiful. Caitlin’s eyes lingered on Julian for a while as he starred into hers. As she giggled and exclaimed. ‘Ta da’ Cisco’s heart skipped a beat again. Her laugh always made him feel a little less damaged and now he knew it was genuine he could start to laugh a little more genuinely too. Caitlin was so much more than just his best friend. He felt it more than ever. He admired the way she would excitedly talk him through her research, the way she would bite her lip in concertation, the way she would lecture him on eating too much candy. He adored her heart, her smile, her mind. He loved her. He loved her more than anything in his life. He loved her. He didn’t know if the feeling had always been there.If it started during a night she sat and comforted him over Dante or when Hunter zolomon snatched her from their safety and it felt like he had taken part of him too  or maybe he always felt it deep down. But it was certain he had never felt this way about anyone else. But as she stared at Julian he knew that she was starting to fall for someone else. But he wasn’t sad he was happy because she was happy. He was happy because Julian was happy. And he was happy because for this brief shining moment as HR made his speech everyone in the room seemed content. As Cisco raised his glass to Barry and Iris he began to think of the comic he read earlier. The Heroes in those stories scarcely talked about the pain in their past adventures well maybe it was for a reason. Maybe they still remembered it all but they didn’t want to admit it. Didn’t want to reach out, show their pain so they could protect the last reaming happiness of those they loved. Because in the end that’s what superheroes do. Sacrifice.

[deztinywarriors]

The Linked Charms - Episode 24 (Multi Liverpool players)