#she's not having it

[skulldeermate]

Look everyone it’s Pomni!

[elliespuns]

Joel just told Ellie that she couldn't have her dinosaur shaped cookies before dinner.

[mistress-light]

Forspoken • Tanta Olas

[elementalladymallorie]

Laudna: You remember everything you said. Don't bull shit me.

[woednesdayaddams]

♱ starter for @sindicate ( jughead )

hiding information from wednesday is like hiding good from a famished animal — it never works out, she will find what she’s looking for using all her senses and her knowledge combined. it didn’t take long for her to notice anomalies in jughead’s behavior and status overall. he was abnormally early for classes and didn’t seem much disrupted by the bankruptcy of the twilight drive-in. an intervention was what he needed. unfortunately enough, wednesday was the one to deliver it. she roamed the school corridors, all attention focused on any sound that could reveal his whereabouts. alas, there was none and she had to break into every classroom ‘till she stumbled upon the janitor’s closet. a click resounded, her cue to rattle the doorknob and see what — or who — is inside. disgust was embedded across her features, she couldn’t believe he would sleep there instead of her house. a puff through her nose as she made her way beside him, he slept too peacefully given his circumstance. she hovered over his face, visage displaying no emotion. “how dare you?” tone was rather loud, just as she intended. the manner in which she spoke revealed some sort of treachery that was involved between them two. “jones.” she uttered, poking his head. “faking sleep won’t save you. explain yourself.”

[cronchy-baguette]

I promise

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[h2pinky]

i just read someone on twitter saying that sevika met silco because she thought he was a lesbian and tried to flirt with him at the last drop years ago i think im gonna piss myself

[aximili]

tbh the fact that cats purr was an unnecessary bonus we don't always acknowledge. they're already cute and baby and little and soft and make silly noises and do funny shit. but they also like to cuddle and make a soothing pleasant noise to indicate they are happy when they cuddle you? huge. huge for the human race.

[daclium]

Researcher

[archi-pelago]

maybe never forgive. but things are different now. so we'll use maybe.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[mountainshroom]

If she has no fans call the ambulance cause I am dead

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[sabertoothwalrus]

modern au laios

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

Glinda really had an entire musical number expounding on the theme of "success in life is not about being highly qualified or even competent, but manipulating people's superficial perception of you." and then she went into POLITICS. truly the #girlboss representation the world has earned