#she's like wtf and then a second later WAIT THE FU-

[makesitprecious]

what happened to Ryan?

[just-some-random-blogger]

Death By Bagel

NCT Culinary Student!Mark Lee x Fashion Design Student!Reader Summary: Mark makes a cake cause he's realized he can't lose you to some f-boy. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, childhood au, college au, slowish burn, slight cursing, reallllly fluffy, some broksi-dude action, typos sksksksks, etc.

R E Q U E S T my friend: mark lee, slow burn, friends to lovers

A/N: I wrote a fic that already had like 1k+ word then I LOST IT (i think i deleted it) thus this. It took me 10 years to write this msmsmkskskks. PLEASE TUMBLR IS MESSING WITH ME AND MIXED UP THE ORDER OF SOME OF THE DIALOGUE

“As a doctor, I don’t think you should be doing that,” Mark says, not even bothering to look at his patient seated rudely on the floor. Oop, he’s lying down now.

Mark huffs and looks up from the clay block he was molding on his tray, “YOU’RE SO UNPROFESSIONAL!”

Mark’s mother nearly spits out her coffee upon hearing the words of his five-year-old son. Her husband snorts, “He got that from you.”

The woman throws a look at the man and was supposed to give a snarky retort, up until the sound of the doorbell ringing. She grins from ear-to-ear and dashes to get the door.

When she comes back to the living room, she’s accompanies by another woman and a tiny version of her.

“Markie! Say hello to your Auntie!” Mark’s mom calls.

Mark from the carpeted floor looks up and blinks, examining the stranger-woman and its human-ling. Mark turns to his father who was sat on the couch and receives a nod of approval almost. Mark purses his lips and waves at the woman.

The woman waves back and then crouches down to the little girl, “Baby, say hello to Mark.”

Unwilling, she shakes her head.

“Aw come on, baby. Don’t be shy. Mark over there is a really sweet boy. I knew him when he was in his mommy’s tummy, just like Mark’s mom knew you when you were in mine. You’re the same age so you’ll get along just fine.”

With the unnecessary explanation that gave no justification to the scene whatsoever out of the way, the girl was fooled into peeping up, “Hi, Mark.”

“Hello,” Mark says, not particularly interested, as his patient was still in the midst of dying in his office. He turned to his stuffed toy called Mr. Lion and attempted to stand him up once more.

At this point, the girl makes her way to Mark.

“We’ll be back in two hours, honey. Keep an eye on the children,” Mrs. Lee tells his husband who had been occupied with TV the entire time.

“Yeah. I got this,” he smiles to his wife then goes back to watching.

The bumble bee clad figure sat down to Mark in blue and watched him play.

Mark ignored her for a few seconds, needing to assert all efforts on standing that dumb toy up. Once successful, Mark turns to her, “Do you play doctors?”

Mark was then met with the same lack on enthusiasm. She hums, “I like playing baker doctor.”

All at once, Mark gasps, “ME TOO!”

It was unbeknownst to the children it was oddly specific and the chance of this happening was pretty slim.

And in a blink of an eye, excited giggles erupt in the room, as if they had been having so much fun before this scene. It was here and there the two would become best friends to the very end.

... so I guess it means the reckoning is upon us.

“MARK LEE I SWEAR TO THE FU--” “WHAT! WHAT!?” Mark laughs.

"YOU ATE MY BAGEL! AGAIN!" I growl in a loud whisper, throwing the wrapper at him and his flat head before he could think to dodge it while he annoyingly laughs.

"I asked if I could have it though!" he says, fully knowing his sins.

I glared at him and say lowly, "I thought you were referring to my notes, bread for brains."

Mark snorts loud enough for our teacher to wake up from his nap. Once the class notices, we all pretend to be doing something productive and Mark plays it off with a cough.

"Mr. Lee." Mr. Kim says sternly, clicking his tongue, blinking his eyes rapidly.

Mark finishes coughing and turns to our seated professor, "Yes sir."

"Don't go to school if you're sick and going to cause a racket with your coughing."

Mark nods firmly and Mr. Kim closes his eyes again, mumbling, "page 65 is due tomorrow."

The entire class grumbles. Mark beside me scoffs and makes a face, "Yeah, yeah, Doyoung."

I turn to him and elbow his side.

"Whatever," Mark shakes his head, "professor bunny-teeth won't hear me."

Once class ended, we both get our things and head out for lunch. We walk to our canteen, fussing over assignments, deciding we should do it together later in our mutually free period.

I groan and narow your eyes at him as we have an argument over how he hasn't finished the essay for English, "That's not the point."

"Yo Mark!" a voice calls from afar. Mark and I turn, looking for the voice, and I spot the dimpled senior, Jung Jaehyun, in a table with the rest of his squad.

I nudge Mark and point at the pale guy seated by the corner.

Mark throws him a smile and waves. I follow closely behind him as he walks over to the table. "We're going to sit with them?" I say in some sort of gasp.

"Yeah." Mark replies simply, not bothering to turn to me, "they're cool."

I knit my brows at that and nod, "Yeah I know. But I'm not cute today."

Mark stops in his tracks and throws me a confused look, "what?"

"I didn't put any make-up on today, also I'm pretty sure there's a visible stain somewhere on my jacket, I just don't remember where."

Mark scrunches his face up again, even more confused. "What? How do you... forget a stai-- that's not the point. Why do you wanna look cute today?" He scoffs and continues lowly, "hardly as if you ever look cute."

I let out an annoyed groan and punch Mark's shoulder. "Like when you panicked when Seulgi came over and asked for notes."

Mark openes his mouth, "That is so not the same! Jaehyun's a fuck bo-"

"Just shut up already," I snap and shove him forward so he'd continue walking. "Let's not keep him waiting," I add and mumble, "also I know. Dong Sicheng however is very cute."

Mark chuckles, "he's dated every girl on the dance team."

"Okay, maybe not that cute."

"Ya, Mark," Jaehyun grins and greets the said person with a high-five and chest bump. He turns to me and speaks my name with a smile. I smile back politely and wave.

I'm about to sit next to Sicheng, but Mark shoves me and so I end up sitting on the other side of the bench table with Jaehyun. I turn to Jaehyun with a small, non-awkward smile and shoot Mark a glare. He seems unbothered though.

"So, you up for a round later?" Jaehyun asks Mark.

Mark talks over me, "you know it, dude."

Jaehyun flashes his dimple smile all the stupid girls fall for. I'm only half falling for it cause I'm only half stupid. He raises his brows, "you bought the dough, right?"

This makes me knit my brows.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really did this time," Mark mumbles quickly. "It's my turn anyway."

Jaehyun gives an off look, "that's literally what you said last time bro."

"Yo, no for real. It's in my bag, if you wanna check."

Jaehyun shakes his head when Mark begins to scramble for it, "no, Lee, it's good. We wouldn't want you friend to get dirty."

Is it just me or do you feel slimey all of a sudden?

Jaehyun then gives me a somewhat, somehow sincere smile, "so. I hear you're in fashion design."

I give a soft chuckle, "yeah. That's me."

"I could tell from a mile away. Mark looks horrible next to your getup."

I look down at my sweater and ripped jeans. Mark exclaims in protest, "shut the hell up, Jae."

I give a soft smile at Jaehyun, "don't know where that comes from but thanks I guess."

Jaehyun chuckles, "I'm kidding," he eyes Mark, "I saw your Fashion Design pin on your bag when you sat down."

"Oooohhhh, haha, okay, that makes sense."

"Ya, Jeff," Sicheng calls for Jaehyun, "it's almost time."

Jaehyun turns to his friend and nods. He turns back to me and Mark, "well, it's nice to meet you. Mark won't put a sock in it even if I beg. See you around, fashionista."

He stands and slaps Mark's back, "see ya later, broski."

"Yeah, bruh," Mark replies.

Once it's just Mark and I, I snap at him and blurt out in a whisper yell, "YOU'RE ON BROSKI LEVEL WITH JUNG JAEHYUN?!"

Mark gives me a weird face, "bruh, I think he calls the principal broski, for real."

I smack Mark, making him whine, "you know what I'm talking about, Mark! And what, are you doing drugs?!?"

He shakes his head in confusion, "Wait, what!? Who the hell told you that?"

"Uhhhhh you were talking about dough and showing up later. Sounds like you owe him money for drugs, Mark."

"??? In what universe did we even mention drugs?? Does this," he slaps his face, "look like a face of a drug addict to you?"

"A gullible idiot maybe."

Mark's jaw drops, "oh wow, okay. I'm done with this conversation." He proceeds to stand attempt to walk away. I scoff, "not on my watch bitch."

Like the true idiot that he is, Mark begins to legit run away from me, like a criminal who stole my cookies. It's embarrassing that he, a man much taller than I, could not even outrun me. I suppose I should be grateful, but this just fortifies my thoughts of him being an idiot even more.

But okay... I wasn't actually expecting this... like... Mark and Jaehyun... like... actually baking bread after school with dough Mark premade at home. Also, uh, Jaehyun looks super cute in an apron that I'm having a mental breakdown. And what's new, so does Mark.

"I can't believe you thought I was a drug dealer," Jaehyun says in a soft pout as he rolls out dough on the marble counter of his friggin large kitchen in his friggin large house. Like dang, I knew he was rich, but he's like Rich™ Rich. Rich with a golden diamond encrusted Rolex watch rich that's in a glass display rich-- wtf.

Mark wheezes in his telltale high pitched laugh as he opens a pack of unsweetened chocolate pellets, "she thought dough was some sort of metaphor or something."

"Cute," they say at the same time. Mark turns to Jaehyun in slight surprise and Jaehyun turns to me. I roll my eyes, though I feel my neck burn. I avert my attention to the scene I was sketching on my pad, Jaehyun and Mark baking croissants. I clear my throat, "I'm just making use of the single braincell between us, cause if he doesn't die falling down the stairs, he's gonna pull some idiotic stuff like baking with Jung Jaehyun."

Oddly, it's Mark that reacts to that with a, "hey!"

Jaehyun rubs his chin on his shoulder, "I also can't believe you think so little of me.'

I break a sweat but decide to answer honestly, "... ... ... You have a reputation."

"Of being a fuck boy?"

Mark loudly transfers the chocolates into a metal bowl, making the two of us snap at him. Mark makes a face, "oh gosh, sorry."

Jaehyun sighs, "well. I admit I get around, but that's only because I get dumped every time."

I raise a brow.

Jaehyun purses his lips, "nah, let's not make this weird. The croissants will be flat."

"Dude," Mark turns to him, "that's literally only because you messed up the recipe."

Jaehyun grits his teeth, "no. It's because Kun's a little teacher's pet and sabotaged me so he could get the best grade."

"No, but like Kun is really nice, he helped me with the fold techinique."

Jaehyun scoffs, "He stole me vanilla extract, Mark. Who does that?!"

"No, listen, he's cool, like, for real--"

"No, you listen, he's a little shit and--"

The two begin to bicker like a married couple, and I begin to draw inspiration form the scene to design some random sketches of wedding dresses.

I look back to the two and still can't get over the fact that I learned Jaehyun was a culinary arts major with my best friend, and that I was currently in the Jung's boojie home because I thought Mark was buying drugs from him. Not what I was expecting at all my day to go like, but I'm not mad this is how it went.

"No, no, no, no," Jaehyun says. He turns to me and points, "let's just get an outside opinion. Babe, what's your favorite color?"

"BABE?!" Mark barks.

I take a moment to reply. I blink slowly, "uhh... pink?"

Jaehyun bites his lower lip and claps his flour covered hands, "Right. Pink croissants it is."

Mark shoots him a glare and turns to me, back to Jaehyun, "she has a name."

Jaehyun nods, "yeah, and she wants pink croissants."

Mark makes a face and Jaehyun examines it, chuckling under his breath. "Wah, you two are something, huh."

No one really responds.

We began to always eat lunch with Jaehyun and his friends. It's funny cause I realized Jaehyun, although I still firmly believed he was out to get nasty with every other girl he sees, he was actually just like Mark. A total loser with a love for cooking.

"Hey," Mark says with a snippy tone.

I give him a look and suddenly receive a paper bag to my face. Mark sits on his chair next to me, as per usual. I smell the thing before I realize what it is. It's a freshly baked bagel. I perk up and smile, "Aw, you baked me a bagel?"

Mark raises his upper lip, "no. Jaehyun did."

I knit my brows, "what? Why?"

Mark narrows his brows, "do you, like, like him?"

I give him a look. I take a bite of the bagel, making Mark look at me in disbelief. I answer, "You do know I only hang with him cause you do, right?"

"Then why'd you eat the bagel then?"

"Uh, a number of reasons. 1) it's a bagel, 2) free food, 3) I'm starving, 4) it smells amazingggg."

Mark does a face, "fair. I've been meaning to ask how he does his seasoning for a while now too." He releases a breath, "and anyway, I'm pretty sure he made a bagel cause I told him you liked them. Never talking about you to him anymore though."

I look at him, "why do you talk about me so much to him anyway?"

"Uh because you're amazing," Mark says instinctively.

I feel my heart skip at that. I coo and place my hands on my chest, "wait that's really sweet."

Mark looks at me. His face begin to shift, "too bad it's a lie- haha."

I give him a look and rebut, "jerk."

"Loser."

As quickly as I found out about Jaehyun being Mark's friend, that's about as quickly as I found out he didn't like hanging out with him anymore. It's kind of a shame I never got to go back to his boojie house.

There was this one encounter I had with Jaehyun though... which was a little weird, not gonna lie.

He was waiting for me outside my Tailoring class, smiling and waving when he saw me. I Reluctantly reciprocated and walked over to him.

He releases a breath, "I've been waiting for about 20 minutes for you. I didn't know when your class would end."

I raise my brows, "you could have asked?"

"Well I would need your number for that, and that would have ruined the surprise," he pulled out a brown paper bag, reminiscing the same one Mark chucked at my face.

"I made you two this time," he smiles.

I take a moment to reply, "you don't have to make me bagels, Jaehyun."

He grabs my hand, "yeah, but I want something out of ya," he places the bagels in my hand. He proceeds to lead us off and we begin to walk down the hall.

Truth be told, it's a little scary that his ulterior motive is up in the air. Jaehyun places his hands in his pockets, "I like your dress, by the way."

I smile, "thanks. I made it."

He smiles and nods, "right. That makes sense as to why it suits you well."

I can't help but blush at that, and simultaneously feel conscious when I realize a bunch of girls in my course are looking at me and Jaehyun as we strut down the hall.

"So, what did you want, Jaehyun?"

"Well, I clearly wanted to ask you out."

"..."

"..."

Jaehyun smiles and give a soft laugh, "is it so ground breaking?"

"... Uh..."

He sniggers, "hey, you can say no. I mean I hope you don't but you can." Jaehyun leans in and raises his hands, "I won't like it, but a man should take rejection from a lady well."

I turn to him as he straightens up. I turn to the bagels he made me and bring it back to him. He laughs, "no, I made them for you really. It's not poisoned, in fact it's made with love."

I visibly react to that, which makes Jaehyun wheeze. I can't help but laugh back, "that was hella tacky."

"Worth a shot though," he says. "Good luck with Mark."

I look at him with silence and he chuckles, "ya, you can't fool me."

I'm about to retort but then Jaehyun gets called by one of the frats dudes I identify as Johnny Seo. Jaehyun does a curtsy and clicks his tongue, "see ya later babez."

"You know, I would have said yes if you didn't do stuff like that."

Jaehyun purses his lips, "no you wouldn't."

I shrug, "worth a shot though."

Jaehyun places a hand on his chest, dramatically calling, "Uh, rejection hurts, man."

Yeah, I never went to Jaehyun's boojie house ever again.

Silver lining though was Mark's dorm smelled equally as nice because of all the food he cooks, although it came with a whiff of axe body spray from his roommate, Lucas. It's cool though, he was almost never around for me to smell it in its whole intensity.

"Aite," Mark calls from his side of the dorm. I perk up from the two seater dining table they had and turn to Mark who was covering the cake he was making for his finals.

"Don't, like, peek, okay. I want you to see the cake all at once and give me your honest reaction to it. Please, like, all my lives kinda depend on it."

"How many lives do you have?"

"9, I'm pretty sure."

I stand from my seat, "not you faking your life as a cat, but get it I guess."

Mark raises a hand at me as I walk over, "can you not, I'm high-key panicking right now."

"Over what? You literally made a box of donuts for your midterms and it looked better than Misty Mreme! I'm sure your cake is hot."

"It was in the minifridge for a day. I mean it barely fit cause of all of Lucas' mountain dew."

I groan, "just show me it, Mark Lee!"

Mark whined and dashes over to me, grabbing my shoulders, "okay, but like, don't be mean about it. I swear, I might cry."

I give a sound and fake cough, "it's ugly."

Mark doesn't respond to that particular jab, "I'm serioussss. Please be kind, okay?"

I look at Mark's nervous face and give a soft pout, "Markie, please, not that I think it would be ugly, but I promise you don't have to be nervous about my reaction."

He isn't soothed by that, but he does release a sigh, "okay. So for context, Mr. Moon wanted the cake to be one or two tiers, but I went with one, cause there aint no way I'm going to the other side of the campus to freeze a two tiered cake. Then, the theme was something from your childhood, so, I, uh, thought this was fitting. The exam is 60 percent decoration, 40 percent taste by the way."

Mark gives me a hesitant look, but steps way for me to see it. I then see a heart shaped, medium sized cake in my favorite pastel pink color. By the top there's a little boy on the floor playing with a toy oven set and little girl in a bumble bee dress, holding a stethoscope. At the bottom of the cake, there were jelly letters spelling out, "I like you."

I cup my cheeks at the sight of it and feel my eyes start to well at the sentiment.

Wait... was this really happening?

Mark heaves in and out, "okay, so like when Jaehyun began to like hit on you, that sucked pretty hard because he's known for getting girls and I thought maybe he'd get you too and I got panicky. Anyway, I....... have liked you since we were kids... And... I know you probably don't feel the same way but I have to try, you know.... Yolo."

My feel my tears retract from what I hear. I rub my eyes. I turn to Mark and find his nervous face. "Did you just say yolo in your confession, Mark?"

He looks like he's about to throw up.

I can't help but chuckle and pout, "dude..."

I prolong the moment. Mark gets even more nervous as he repeats softly, "dude..."

"We could have dated in grade school all this time."

It takes a moment to register in his head.

Like, a really long moment.

I sigh, "Mark! I like you too, dummy."

He freezes and blinks. His face begins to burn. He breaks into a soft smile, "nice."

I break into a laugh.

"... Uh... So... Can I like... Kiss you?"

I snort and feel my own cheeks begin to burn, "I think you should refrigerate your cake first."

Mark snaps out of this trance, "oh shoot, you-" I give him a quick peck on the lips.

He is dumbfounded.

I feel butterflies go wild in my stomach.

"I'll wait over there for when you've fixed that."

Mark watches as I walk away, "yooo.... That's not fair though."

[ayankun]

WandaVision episode 6

FIRST OFF

Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:

It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???)  There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.

HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:

Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.

Two things here:

No, that’s not a twins joke.

Another Moonmen Confirmed

I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time

Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference.  I am an Old.

There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep.  The Setup:

The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels.  It’s so funny:

The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all

The “speaking Sokovian”

The treat being a fish

They have to share the fish

The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but.  the trauma is the joke.  The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!

Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.

Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!!  “Be. Good.”  UGH.

(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice?  Please let it be deliberate.  I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?

)

“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT

DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.

Found.  FOUND.  Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.”  Third Party Confirmed.

I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now.  “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”

I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong.  Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music. 

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:

As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period.  The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!!  And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!!  This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.

How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.

Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft.  That happened in Civil War, right?  So the next ad is The Snap?  We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.

90s: Civil War

00s: Infinity War

10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????

??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!

I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw.  Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left.  Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established.  That’d be p neat.  A very unique kind of chaos.

god she’s so cute

Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro.  I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed?  But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro?  Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse?  If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???

????????????????

Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking.  But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.

Rule of Threes - The Reference:

Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away.  I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.

That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up?  Because look.  If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident?  With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just.  There’s just too many villains, alright?  We gotta start merging these plotlines.

(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up.  I’ll wait for enlightenment)

Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town.  Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.

ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California.  In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.

So let’s talk Agnes.

Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)

Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)

When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned?  Was it Agnes?

Wanted to babysit REAL BAD

Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins

Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board

Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him.  Highly unlikely that he’s real

Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)

In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch

She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?

Naughty

So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right?  I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right.  If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).

To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied.  Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.

If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???

I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.

How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time?  In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors.  Third Party Confirmed.

Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory.  Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!

Rule of Threes - The Payoff:

Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?

Ok, final thought.  I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection.  Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.

These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV

A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top. 

I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction.  Like.  LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.

(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)

This is my favorite show Of All Time.

[justal0wk3yg4mer]

Things I’ve Said: Thief 2014 (Some Spoilers)

My words                                                                                                                  *Player/My actions*                                                                                                  Character dialogue

Nice title screen. Very dark and foreboding. 

*Reads a tip* Oh goodie, I get to be a peeping tom.

I like Garrett, he’s sassy. And hot damn that voice.

Y’all laying on the eyeshadow thick. Like, raccoon thick.

See Garrett has good morals, if necessary kill, if not necessary don’t kill. Erin WTF is your deal?

Now see, I think that was a bad idea. If she relies on that thing so much you are just gonna screw her over if there is a need for an escape.

Don’t tell her that, she has an inferiority complex.

Thank you! Robes ARE sketchy.

*Gets my rating back* I am a GHOST!!!!!!!!

Wait we like birds? I thought we avoided birds cause they’re snitches.

Oh shit, a year?! I thought maybe a few months, but a year! Damn, their just dragging this place through the mud turtle speed.

Old blind people always know what’s up and are cryptic about it.

You want coffee? No honey, what you need is a good ol’ knockout. Don’t worry, I’ll hook you up. 

This creep is gonna shot you. He’s the bad guy, he’s gonna-...........or maybe not? That’s it? Mentally scar the dude? Not very evil of you-*Thief-Taker General kills the man*-and there it is. Told you he’d shoot you.

*Listens to a conversation* Oh, only the wealthy can get cock rings? Good to know. *Listens for a few more minutes* And somehow this conversation got worse.

Is that a..............! It is! Finally, a plague mask! I was wondering when I would see one of these.

So, either the proportions on that woman are wrong, or she’s got a fatass.

*Meets Orion* Nope. Don’t like you and don’t trust you. I don’t care that you are ‘helping’ people, something is wrong with you.

You want Garrett to steal a book? That is the first thing you have said that actually interests me.

*Me thinking I can jump over a large gap like in Assassin’s Creed*              *Garrett Dies*                                                                                                 Fuck 

Brilliant, blood makes a sound.

Yo, fuck this. I did not sign-up to go to the upside down. And why does Erin sound mad?

*Garrett touches a painting oddly* Huh, guess Garrett is an ass man.

Erin is related to the Baron, calling it. *Chapter 3 memories play* Damn it. But you know what, good for her!

OMG! Is that a drag queen!? Yas bitch, tell his crusty, creepy ass off!  

I knew one of these holes would lead to a sex scene.

Thief-Taker General: Punish me mommy, I’ve been bad.                        Eeewwwwwwwwww. I didn’t need to hear that.

How much freaky cult BS is in this town?

Orion: You can’t just walk in the front doors.                                           No kidding? Damn, how else is a thief going to enter a building without using the front doors?

Why the fuck are people panicking? I haven’t done anything.

*Listens to a conversation* 4 to 5 days? I’m pretty sure the architect is dead. *Enters the architect’s study* Called it.

*Garrett falls and lands in front of several Nightwatchmen*               Garrett: Good Evening.                                                                                That’s kinda funny.

VIVA REVOLUTION!!!!!!!

Don’t you do it. Garrett no. We are getting Basso and getting the fuck out of here, you hear me!                                                                                    Garrett: It’s who I am.                                                                                    ITs wHO i aM

You fucker, I knew you were gonna be here. *Referring to the thief-taker general*

Oh great, I’m going from the crazies of the streets to the crazies on a fucking island. (BTW Garrett said almost the exact same thing right after I said this and I screamed. Thanks unreal.)

*Reads a tip* First of all, what the fuck are freaks? And second, freaks do what now?

Please don’t let this be a Victorian style Outlast.

*Door slams shut behind me*                                                                         Fuck.                                                                                                            *Doors are suddenly barracked behind me*                                                  FFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

Oh fuck, it’s the bonies! (Warms Bodies anyone?)

Orion did what to you? See, that is a red flag for me. I don’t like that, something is up with that guy.

He’s the Baron’s brother? Has to be the youngest, and I stress the young bit, brother. And of course he’s crazy, I knew he was suspicious! 

Why is it, whenever I get out of a major cutscene, 95% of the time I get force pushed? Like, I just watched a memory and now I’m in danger. That is oddly common in Garrett’s life, watch, next someone is going to be waiting for him on the ledge.                                                                          *Enter thief-taker general and his stupid rant*                                              You motherf*cker! I knew that shit was gonna happen, but I didn’t want you!

A hand for a leg, and a leg for a hand. Not how it goes but this game makes it work.

Fuck the graven. Who decided that burning the bridge was a good idea? Yeah, let’s destroy a major bridge that could have brought over supplies or let people come and go as they please. Fucking dumbasses.

BBQ anyone?                                                                                                *Few seconds later a person burning falls over*                                          Like I said, BBQ anyone?

Damn, I can’t swim across this little area? This is gonna be like Altair all over again.

Beggar Queen got more sneak game than Garrett. At least he didn’t jump. *She leaves* Correction, Queen’s sneak game is over 9000.

Ah yes, the final mission. It’s dark, it’s raining, and lighting flashes over a worn-down cathedral. I fucking love it.

Gaming logic. Fires are still burning when it is pouring down rain. And I have to shoot a WATER arrow to put the fires out. Genius.

My dude, you grapple?

These flowers were really pretty at first. Now, they just give me the willies. I’ll probably turn a corner and see a bonie. *Does exactly that* Fuck my life.

What the fu-No wait, why am I surprised? It’s more cult BS.

Oh no, she screamed and force pushed everyone, run away!

*Thief-Taker General enters for a final battle* Fuck off! You are the most stereotypical villain ever.

Well when you say it like that, all you ever wanted to do was murder Garrett. Not see him hang, there is a difference.

FINISH HIM! (If you didn’t read that with the Mortal Kombat voice, you’re wrong)

Garrett: I’m not alone down here.                                                             Yeah no shit. Wanna say that a little louder to let the bonies know as well?

Oh God, Orion has daddy issues.

Erin, WTF? Garrett literally said not two minutes ago that he wanted you. Not the primal.

Erin quit it, you’re scaring me. That ‘secret’ better not be some BS like “BTW you’re my dad.”

Erin: Garrett! I’m slipping!                                                                          Fuck you game, I already went through this.

And the darkness finally leads to dawn. Good job Garrett, you and the city live to see another night.

Ladies and gentlemen this weeks tally was lovingly name after how many time my dumbass said this. I give you:

Oh Pretty!: 168                  ��                                                             

[miraculous-ladybum]

Miraculous Fic Idea

I’m not sure if I’ll ever actually write this, but I dreamt it up one night and feverishly wrote it down at 3 AM. In case I never get around to it, here’s the rough outline I wrote. (I’m sorry for the terrible writing but again it was 3 AM and ya girl was going FAST)

·       Ladybug gets sick of chat’s flirting, tells him he can’t possibly think it would actually work

 “but my lady I am so suave”

 “ok then pick a random girl and pretend she’s me for a week and tell me how that goes”

“what but my lady”

“is there a girl in front of you in class?”

 “no”

“behind you?

Ya

She single

Ya

She cool

Ya

Her

What

Do it and then tell me how successful you are I promise she’s gonna be just as annoyed

·       Ladybug think she smart bc she offloads chat onto someone else

·       Adrien starts flirting with marinette and she is v confused

 Marinette.exe has stopped responding

·       Chat is like wah she hates me I love you this is pointless

“u gotta act like SHE IS ME buddy ok you gotta get over this”

Chat realizes she was trying to get rid of him

§  Dumb bb takes a fucking hint for once

§  “FINE THEN OK’

·       Actually acts like it’s her

Marinette starts responding like ladybug when she’s off guard, Adrien v encouraged

Wow this is actually getting easier also she puns too #soulmate

·       He asks her to a picnic, it’s awks at first then they have a fuckin blast

Actin like ladybug and chat noir

Possible chasing antics

·       Cue AKUMA

·       Ladybug asks how it’s going he says well but he feels wrong abt it when he still has feelings for ladybug

Lb is like listen bub it looks like you got smth good with her and it’s not gonna happen with me ok

What no

Ya know that guy I’ve been in love with for like forever well recently it’s actually been going really well with him and I think we have a chance so like.. you need to move on ( >:) DRAMATIC IRONYYY)

·       Cue Sad Adrien

·       Decides to Actually Try To Move On with mari

Asks her on a dinner date :O

·       Awks at first then he’s like UGH I’m sorry I can’t I just can’t get over this girl

Mari sad

But like she said it’s never gonna happen and I need to move on and I really like you but it doesn’t feel fair while I’m in love with her

Mari Grows A Pair and is like well frankly My Dear this girl is not worth it she is an IDIOT for turning down an amazing guy like you yadda yadda yadda she blind and her heart is stone cold and you deserve a girl that’s gonna return the love you give out #becauseyoureworthit and I think we have a great thing going (she starts to ramble and almost says bc I really like you but then she realizes what she’s saying and is like oh shit)

Adrien is just like :O

She’s like WOW LOOK AT MY WRIST I HAVE A PANINI IN THE OVEN I MUST LEAVE and starts to leave but then Adrien is like what were you going to say

And she is all torn but then swallows it bc GODDAMMIT THIS WAS GOING SO WELL UGH and is like I really like you

Then he’s like thank you marinette that actually…really helped. You’re right

And she’s like …yeah duh

Then he’s like oh you had to go?

No the panini can wait the oven wasn’t on

And they have dessert

·       When he drops her off he’s like thank u for what u said at dinner

And she’s all blush blush

·       Then he kiss her on the cheek and with his lips like an inch away from hers he’s like I really like you too

Then he gets in the car

Marinette is frozen then does a whole happy dance

·       Cue Adrien starting to get an Actual Crush on mari

Marinette looks amazing today wtf

No she looks normal dude

No way (gushes abt her)

My man you’ve got Marinette Vision

§  Cue whole class being thirsty 4 mari

§  Chloe tries to deny it but then sabrina outs her as thirsty too

·       Flirting shenanigans yeehaw

·       After class one day on the steps Adrien is abt to get in the car then runs back and movie kisses mari

I’ve been wanting to do that for a while

·       Kitty and lb have a <3 2 <3 abt their new boos

·       More dating shenanigans

·       Lila gets mad and is like mari is cheating on Adrien w/cn

Whole class gets mad

Mari is upset and is like babe I promise

 Adrien is like lol that is the wurst lie evah I believe u mari

 Nino sees them bein Happy Couple and is like dude u gotta know

Adrien gets Mad

Tells off lila in front of EVERYONE hahaha

·       Ok time 4 a reveal I think buckle in

·       Ok so Circumstances Happen and they end up in a battle with hawky

·       Chat’s ring gets removed somehow and he promptly gets stabbed by the hawks

Emotional Scene w/ lb

ADRIEN NO

“ladybug...take my ring... beat this fucker”

He dies

She gets ring somehow (depends how he lost it rn tbh)

She kiss him one last time

Puts on ring becomes GOD

·       Everyone is like :O (mb rena and carapace are there idk yet)

·       She MAD

Transformation is she GLOWS FROM EVERY ORIFICE AND FLOATS OFF THE FLOOR MENACINGLY AND HER HAIR IS FLOATING AND IT’S MAD WICKED MAN

Everyone still like :O

·       Hawky tries to say something and she is like SILENCE (also her voice is all boomy and needs to be in a Scary Font)

·       Dumb boi hawk still tries to fight and she just wipes her hand and both she and him disappear

Go into a meadow v peaceful as just themselves

They have a heart to heart

Gabe knows he been beat and gives his miraculous

They reappear and she does the most fuckin snatched miraculous ladybug of all time

Like Ultra Power

EVERYTHING in paris is fixed

Not just akuma stuff EVERYTHING

§  People in the hospital are cured

§  Adrien revived ofc

§  But also

·       Peacock miraculous is fixed (maybe they got it on the way to gabey haven’t decided yet could be an interesting future plotline but idk yet)

·       And So Is Emilie

Downstairs, deep under Agreste mansion, someone else awakens…

·       Gabey goes to Jail

Nobody checks on emilie bc he didn’t tell mari she was in a Shrine she thought she was like Dead ya know

·       Everyone is happy

·       Butterfly miraculous is returned

·       But then like a week later they discover that master fu has been brutally murdered

His apartment is ransacked and the butterfly miraculous is GONE

Idk yet How the others survived but they do

§  We’ll figure something

·       Suddenly, an akuma!!!

·       There’s a new Hawkmoth in town

·       Emilie.

·       Ya then like a whole second part maybe with post reveal relationship or just a cliffhanger and then there can be a sequel or just ya know a segue into the adult canon

[imaginingit]

Hello!!! I really like your svt imagines/headcanons could I request a neighbor!moonbin thing? Thank you so much ^^

neighbour!moonbin!! + awkward first meetings

you swear you transported in the last box like,,,,,twenty boxes ago 

this is it, you think, moving has officially become your arch-nemesis

but you swear you’ve already said this like,,,,,twenty houses ago

because of your parent’s business, moving every six months or so is nothing new 

and with every move, there’s a new set of neighbours for you to meet and forget even exist 

the last neighbours were a couple in their 70s whos apartment smelled just …. like old people  

the ones before that were a couple in their 20s who were,,,,active,,, to say the least 0-0 

the ones before that were a family of three that always asked to borrow a frying pan or spoon or bowl and just never returned it

the ones before that had a dog that almost bit off your bike handle and barked at anything that moved 

so you were used to having rlly rlly rlly weird people living beside you all the time 

your new neighbours this time, however, aren’t home as you move in and even after you get settled in, you don’t see them for a while 

the first meeting however

YIKES

your mom had called and said she’d be home in about 5 minutes, since she just went to the grocery store across the street to pick up some more side dishes for dinner tonight 

so when you hear a knock at the door later and you’re just in your towel from showering a minute ago

your very small towel 

your very small towel that covers up everything just enough

you’re completely expecting your kind, understanding, punctual mother to stand there holding your precious pickled radish and ready to scold you to put some clothes on

but instea d .

you open the door 

to see  someone who is very much not your mother

who is very much a man, who is very much not expecting you to look like that when you open the door, who is very much holding a bowl of freshly cut fruit as a small welcome gift,,, and who is ,,,, ,very much,, goodlooking 

you yelp loud enough that your cat screeches back in surprise and the very handsome boy at your doorstep does the same 

“wha t T HE FU K–WHO ARE YOU ?!” 

there’s just a jumble of screaming and trying to close the door but his foot is in the way and you jam his foot and then there’s just a jumble of apologizing from both ends and you end up just slamming the door in his face from sheer panic 

you hear a “I’M SO SORRY OH M YOGD” through the door 

and you muster up the courage to say something back

“I’M SORRY TOO,,,,ALSO I CAN’T OPEN THIS DOOR BECAUSE I HONESTLY JUST CAN’T LOOK AT YOU IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW”

“THAT’S FINE, ,, ,,, I JUST WANTED TO INTRODUCE MYSELF AS YOUR NEW NEIGHBOUR,,,,”

he tells you his name is moonbin and his parents wanted to bring over a bowl of fruit as bearing a little offering 

and there’s a little pause before he continues, “which i’m starting to think wasn’t a really good idea,,,,,” 

you find yourself scoffing and then really laughing besides the situation and soon theres a giggle behind the door too 

you tell him to wait a couple seconds as you run and put on some cloThes

honestly if you had more time you’d pick a cute outfit to actually try and make a good impression on this boy who seems pretty sweet? 

but you settle for a hoodie and joggers before you open the door and this time you actually catch a good glimpse of his face

there’s still a slight pink tinge on his cheeks but you swear his face lights up when he sees you 

and your stupid annoying foolish heart does a little something 

you visibly seem him try to gather his bearings and you can’t help but laugh again 

he extends the bowl of fruit and offers his hand as an official introduction this time 

“i’m moonbin, your new neighbour!!” 

you gladly take it “i’m y/n!” 

after you’ve established that this introduction would be the version you’d tell your parents, you find yourself asking him to come in and he can meet your mom who should be here any minute!!

he grabs a seat at your dinner table and before you know it, you guys just chat away 

as he’s talking you kind of,,,,drink in his appearance and how the corners of his mouth perk up when he’s talking and his eyes smile before his lips do and how he nods and absorbs every word you say

you forget you just met 10 minutes ago and it isn’t until your mom opens the door and sees a stranger at her dinner table that you realize ,,,, oh yeah,,,, u just met 10 minutes ago

but you introduce him to your mom who shakes his hand and who admires the pretty little bowl of fruit 

“thanks!! i did it!” he announces cheerfully

your mom offers to have him stay for dinner but he says he has to get back to finish up schoolwork, but maybe tomorrow !! 

you see him to the door and thank him 

“you know,, you’re like the first normal neighbour i’ve had in a really really long time lol”

“yeah? well, you’re not so bad yourself” 

and he smiles

and your knees almost buckle 

so he leaves and turns around and just gives you another small, shy smile before you close the door 

you lean your back against the door and just take a huuUuUUGE breath

what is this i’m FEELING WTF

and it also doesn’t help when you hear your mom go, “so,,,,moonbin huh? ;)” 

*screams at the top of my lungs*  I LOVE MO OON BI I N N N N N 

[apotatomashedbybts]

I'll Be Your Knight

[Genre: fluff, slight angst

Pairing: Jimin×reader , Taegi

Soulmate!Taehyung, BestFriend!Yoongi

Word count: 2.8k+]

[Summary: When Y/n met Jimin she knew that it was a love at first sight. But she didn't expect the consequences that came with loving him. After their unwilling separation will Y/n be able to do what it takes to get him back?

A story of love, loss, fight, dreams, and friendship...]

Chapter V : Everything's a Mess

Tae smiled knowingly and said, "Yeah! You are right!"

I saw Jimin approaching us when we reached the turning at the end of the road. He smiled seeing us and increased his pace.

Was it because of his genes or was it just me that his walk looked like that of a prince? Or as if he was in a ramp walk? Had the sunshine been always so beautiful? Was God in a really good mood while making him? Specially while putting on his smile? Endless questions were running through my mind at a helpless speed!

"Hey!" He waved his hands in front of my eyes. "Huh? Oh hi!" I replied not knowing what to do and looked at the other direction so that he couldn't see my face. "Did he notice me drooling over him?" I thought.

  "Don't mind her! She fazes out all the time! Ha ha!" Tae tried to cover up for me and pulled me into a tight hug almost choking me. 

"We have to take the bus today. My car is at the garage and Y/n/n's dad took their car to his office. You don't have a problem, do you?" Tae asked Jimin when we were on our way back.

I looked at Tae confusedly. His car was just fine! Then this thought crossed my mind! Was he trying to be the matchmaker? I facepalmed mentally, "Such an actor he is!"

"Oh! Sure! I don't have any problem." He smiled and my thoughts screamed, "You're not going to live for long if he smiles like that!"

We reached the bus stop after walking for approx ten minutes and don't even ask me how Tae knew about this three seater bus and decided to hop on it leaving all the other ones.

"I want to seat by the window and also beside my y/n/n!" he said looking at us in a childish manner. Where was all this love for me coming from? "Like wtf!" I was just starting to scold him but he stopped me midway saying, "I know y/n/n too wants to sit by me! Jimin you won't mind, right?" "Of course not!" He said being the humble king.

And that's how I ended up sitting between the dumbest human being and *sigh* Jimin. Also let me tell you, it was awkward! Like the most awkward situation that I had ever been in. I just occasionally glanced at him and whenever our eyes met we just smiled at each other, not knowing what else to do. I so much wanted to punch Tae! He just plugged in his earphone and looked outside, ignoring everything.

"Why am I being so awkward? Is it because we are so close?" I wondered. I wanted to know what he was thinking about! Was there any trace of me in his thoughts? "I should be brave! I will break this wall! Yes!!" I made a resolution.

While thinking all of these we reached our uni. "You are never gonna have kids with him if you continue like this!" Tae whispered in my ear after we got off.

"What!? Why tf are you thinking about kids already?" I asked him surprisedly.

"Because I want to be uncle as soon as possible! Now go. He is going all alone!" saying this he pushed me.

"Hey!" I said.

"Hey! Taehyung seems to be upset. Did something happen?" Jimin asked.

"Ah! He is upset about Yoongs!" Lie.

"Why? What happened?"

"Yoongs hasn't picked up his call or replied to his messages since morning, that's why." Lie again. "Ah! They seem to be really close!" "Mhm! You can say so!"

  (Cricket sounds)

After another five minutes of awkward silence, "Here take this!" Jimin said breaking the silence. He was handing out the same chocolate bar as yesterday.

"Today too? I am not hungry." I said puzzled. "It's called precaution. In case you feel hungry later! Keep it!" "Are you gonna give me one everyday?" I blurted out before I could filter my thoughts. "Only if you want me to!" He smiled mildly and looked at me. "Let's eat something at the cafeteria before the classes start!" Tae said suddenly coming in between us  from behind, "Hobi just messaged me! He is joining us too!"

"Taehyung, has Yoongi hyung replied to you yet?" Jimin asked as we sat down at the table by the window after Hobi arrived. "What about him?" Tae asked confusedly.

 I kicked his legs under the table and said, "Tae don't be so angry at him! He will call you eventually!" I signalled him to act along with me.

"Ow" he screamed halfway and said, "Ah! That? Yes he messaged me awhile ago! It's all cool now!" and smiled. "When are you going to tell him?" Hobi asked Tae, putting down his sunglasses. "You know?" I almost choked on the soda that I was drinking. Thank god I didn't tease them about the crush thing. That would have made me look like a total fool in front of them. "Of course! I noticed it everytime he was near Yoongi hyung. So one day I pressed him real hard and he spilled it all out! Ha ha!" Hobi explained laughing.

 Tae made a bitter face and looked out the window, sighing. Noticing Jimin's confused expression I told him about Tae's feelings for Yoongs. While I did that Hobi went to bring our extra cheese pizza.

 "Can't we tell Yoongi hyung about Taehyung's feelings?" Jimin asked, clearly feeling bad for Tae.

"No, we shouldn't! Don't you think it'd be better if Tae musters up his courage and tell him himself? Yoongs would like to hear it from Tae himself rather than us! At least I think that it's always better and right if you could express your feelings for a certain someone to that person yourself! If it was me then I would have too liked it that way!" I said and took a big bite from the pizza and noticed that they all were looking at me with big eyes.

"What? Did I say something wrong? Yoongs had always liked it that way! I know him long and well enough to know these things! You can ask Tae! He knows that too!" I looked at Tae and shoved him lightly, "Why are you looking at me like that? Tell them!"   "Woah woah! Calm down! Why are you getting so riled up y/n?" asked Hobi. "She is not! She just knows too much about everything, about us, about me.. She is crazy!" Tae said mildly, looking at me before I could say anything. I don't know how, perhaps because everyone wanted to lighten the atmosphere, everything came back to normal after that.

"So you are telling me that you are soulmates but not lovers?" Jimin asked me, both amused and surprised.

 We were headed to our C.A. and Technology lecture. Tae and Hobi had already went to their Chemistry lecture and dance class respectively. I nodded an enthusiastic 'yes' as a reply.

Things between us had gotten a little easier. At least we were not awkward anymore.

"Taehyung cares about you so much! If anyone doesn't know you two then they are definitely going to think that you are deeply in love with each other!" He said. "I know. Many people say it so we are kinda used to it. But what do you mean by "Taehyung cares about you so much"? I care for him a lot too." I puffed my face.

He laughed out loud, "You know, you are so cute!" I looked at him what seemed to me like an eternity and tried to process his 'compliment'. My heart was racing fast. I had to take control of the situation before I did anything stupid!

"Ah! Really? Thank you! But seriously, Tae does care for me an extra mile because he thinks that I am emotionally vulnerable! And somehow Yoongs believes that too and cares about me a lot too. He cares about us both." I laughed. "But really, don't worry I am pretty strong!" I stopped talking for a few seconds and continued, "I would be really happy if they get together, you know!" I smiled and looked at Jimin and saw that he was already smiling at me. Did my heart skip a beat again? May be... I turned my face the other way and drank water, perhaps I tried to drink my feelings away too.

We sat next to each other at the class. The lecture went pretty well except for Mr. Moon glancing at us occasionally. 

"I'll wait in the common room for y'all, alright?" I told Jimin after we came out of class. After that I had my literature lecture while both Jimin and Tae were free. Our schedules were so messed up that day that while I'll be in my lecture, their lecture would start and my lecture would end early. That's why I told Jimin that I'll wait for them in the common room which was a partial library too.

At literature class throughout the whole lecture I kept getting stares from some of the girls among whom I remember one from yesterday at the cafeteria.   I could understand why they were looking at me that way so I ignored it as I thought it was quite normal.

              After the lecture I headed off towards the common room. It was quite like a cafe, only there weren't any foods. I sat at a two seater table because all others were occupied. I took out a story book from my bag and started reading it, at least I tried to. But everytime I wanted to that smiling face, that fu**ing angelic face appeared in front of my eyes. I didn't even realise when I started to imagine all the dramatic situations.

              What if I was really sick and he came to see me and thought that I was unconscious and confessed his feelings? What if we never met this way, instead we have met at a lonely bus stop on a rainy night?

"Hey! You are y/n right?" said a ringing voiced girl while seating down at the empty chair opposite of me.

      While I was swimming in the sea of my thoughts I didn't even notice how much time had passed. The ringing voice made me come to the shore.

         "Oh! Yes! Hi!" I said smiling and looked at my watch and was surprised, "Did I just spent half an hour staring at the same page of the book?"

        "How do you know me?" I asked closing my book and smiled.

"Oh! Come on! How would I not know you?" she tried to hide her scoff. "I don't understand!" I said, trying to be clueless. "Listen babygirl! Let me warn you" she continued, slightly leaning on the chair comfortably keeping her jacket on the table as if she owned the place, "Stop being all over our Tae! You better quit hanging around him and Hobi! Stop being a bitchy 'steal-your-boyfriend'!" She said, well literally growled. "Boyfriend!?" I scoffed while putting the book in my bag and then I looked at her directly, "What if I don't?" "Then fucking pay for it!" She said with a pressed smile. 

"I wonder what y/n is doing?" I muttered to myself while doing the practical at biology class.

 Why am I thinking about her constantly? I can't concentrate. This is the first time that a girl has intrigued me so much! Ah! What am I gonna do? Why do I want to be by her side, see her all the time? Why does her smile heal me whether I am hurt or not? It feels like even if I went through the worst tragedy, her smile, her everything would be able to heal me! I shook my head and tried to break out from the web of my thoughts.

"Okay class! I have an urgent meeting. So I am dismissing class early! Have a good day! And don't forget to finish the report by Monday!" Our biology sir Mr. Namu announced and left the classroom.

This made me really happy! But why? I peeked at my beating heart. Is this because I get to meet her sooner? I quickly took my bag and went to where Taehyung's lecture was going on. I had to wait for fifteen minutes before his class ended. He came out and asked, "Hey! Did something happen? Your face is all flushed!"

           "Oh really?" I rubbed my face and thought, "Should I tell Taehyung? I should better not! After all they are best friends and he is very protective of her! And I should also give my emotions some time!"

              "Ah! It's nothing! Because of the cold I guess." I lied to him. "Let's go! She must be waiting for us in the common room." I said and we both headed towards the common room. After reaching, I was just going to enter when Tae pulled me hard and made me hide beside the door and pointed to something. I looked at the direction and saw y/n was having a conversation with a girl. I couldn't see y/n's face as her back was towards us but the girl's expression seemed pretty menacing.

 "Are they arguing about something?" I asked Taehyung. "I don't know! But y/n is somewhat calm! So don't worry!" He tried to assure me.

                  While they were talking another girl approached them silently from other side of the room with a bucket full of which seemed like water. And what baffled me more is that the other students weren't even paying attention or cared about what is happening there! Are those girls going to pour the water on her in this weather? I got scared.

            "Taehyung let's go! Shouldn't we help her!?" I said and tried to go inside but again Taehyung stopped me and said giggling, "Just wait here and watch!" A shiver ran down my spine thinking what is about to happen! Why do I have to be so small compared to Taehyung? My horror turned into an amazed surprise the next second seeing the occurrence in front of my eyes. When the girl crept behind y/n to pour the water, y/n suddenly took the jacket of the girl that was kept on the table and pushed her chair backwards with a thud which hit the girl behind her. The force made the girl loose balance and made her pour the water on her friend who was sitting on the opposite side of y/n. While this happened y/n guarded herself using the jacket. Turns out that it's ice water! How can they be so cruel. But at least y/n is safe. I heaved a sigh of relief. After that y/n stood up, said something to them, tossed the jacket and came out taking her bag while everyone there looked at her in awe. It was like a scene from an action movie. I guess I still have a lot to discover about her. 

 I stood up and said, "Sorry for the jacket 'babygirl' but thank you for wearing sunglasses inside the building!"

               I tossed the jacket and walked out of there. I saw Jimin and Tae  standing outside, and seeing their expression I could tell that they saw the whole incident.

              "From when are you standing here?" I glared at them both.

               "F-from when it started?" Tae said making a sheepish face and flashed his boxy smile.

               "Ohh! Really!? Then why didn't you stop it from happening?" I smacked Tae.

                "Jimin is here too! Why aren't you saying him anything?" Tae whined.

             "Because I know that you stopped him!" I narrowed my eyes at Tae.

      Jimin came between us and said, "Let's get going! It's probably better if we not stay here, don't you think?"

      I looked at him and said thoughtfully, "Yeah! You are right! Let's go!" and started walking.

       "Whipped~" Tae whispered in my ear.

     I was going to retort something back when Jimin asked, "Btw how did you know that she was behind you?"

     "Yeah! I want to know too!" Tae shouted!

      "Ha ha! It's nothing special, you know! She may have thought that she would look cool or intimidating if she wore sunglasses, idk what was the reason behind it but that helped me.  Actually I saw the reflection in those sunglasses and voila, I saved myself! And the jacket saved me from getting wet from the slight water splash!" I explained to them.

Other chapters

A/n: A bit long fifth chapter but I know you guys will read it in no time! Thank uuuuuu so much for reading! I hope you like this chapter! Don't forget to let me know your opinion about this! That would inspire me to write more! Love you all 💜💜💜

[fullmetalirin]

Fullmetal Alchemist OG vs. Brotherhood: Return to Resembool (OG 17, BH 06)

Resembool breather episode.

Fullmetal Alchemist Episode 17: "House of the Waiting Family"

The Elrics and Armstrong all return to Resembool, meeting up with Pinako, who agrees to repair Ed in three days time. While the Elrics recuperate, Armstrong assists Winry and Pinako in work. The Elrics later reminisce about their childhood while at their mother's tombstone. Al seems to worry about having fading memories, but Armstrong breaks the tension. A few days later, receiving his replacement arm and leg, Ed uses his alchemy to rebuild Al's armored body from the shattered remains. Afterwards, the brothers and Armstrong head back to Central to find Marcoh's research.

We open with Pinako staring into the sky.

Ed says he hasn't been back to Resembool since he left. How'd he get new limbs, then? He's clearly grown since he was 12, and his automail leg is longer since the flashback. Did Winry keep hopping over to Central to make him new limbs?

Winry is not wearing goggles while she works.

Pinako calls Ed short, and we have the same insult-fu scene from BH 02. Way more appropriate here.

Armstrong is hilarious.

Winry throws a wrench at Ed, similarly to the scene where he transmutes his automail in BH 02.

Al gets cartoon face when being admonished by Winry.

There's a flashback to 03 when Ed visits the grave, but his line about bringing Trisha back is different. I hate when shows do that.

Trisha's epitaph is illegible.

Winry nerds out over Ed's watch. When he refuses to give it to her, she tries flirting with Armstrong, who immediately runs away. LOL.

Armstrong breaks the door when he barges in.

Ed calls Winry an automail nerd, and she calls him a transmutation nerd as payback.

Ed has to be sat down on a bed to ride out the pain of the reattachment.

Winry brings up the possibility of the automail stunting Ed's growth, and says she made the new ones lighter to help.

Armstrong's bishie sparkles fall down when Ed isn't impressed by him. LOL.

Al says it "feels great" when the armor is fixed. I thought he couldn't feel anything?

Ed and Al spar again once they're fixed. Winry realizes the Ed left his watch inside. Hohoho.

When Winry opens the watch, she sees the inscription. I think this is the first time we've seen it in OG.

FMA Brotherhood Episode 6: "Road of Hope"

While Armstrong escorts Edward and Alphonse back to Resembool by train, he spots a man named Tim Marcoh, the "Crystal Alchemist", at a nearby stop. He explains that Marcoh was a state alchemist and doctor during the Ishval civil war, and conducted research on biological alchemy before disappearing at the end of the war. They talk to Marcoh and learn that he was researching the philosopher's stone but only succeeded in creating an incomplete version. At first refusing to share his knowledge with Edward, Marcoh eventually provides a clue to the location of his research data. After they reach Resembool, Winry Rockbell and her grandmother Pinako Rockbell start working on Edward's automail. After receiving his replacement arm and leg, Edward uses his alchemy to rebuild Alphonse's suit of armor from the shattered remains. Afterwards, the Elric brothers, along with Armstrong, head back to Central to look for Marcoh's research.

We open with Hughes seeing them off on the train. We cover why Armstrong is escorting them as protection, but nothing else from OG 16 – no bit with Scar finding out where they're going, no mention that they think Scar was Nina's killer, no "excuse the left-hand salute" line; and while we get the same bit with Ed taking offense at being called a child, we don't get Al saying he appreciates it. Ed also behaves much more normally, with no indication that he's depressed or affected by what he learned last episode.

Armstrong shouts out Marcoh's name in a public train station for everyone to hear, because he's an idiot.

We learn more explicitly that Marcoh was studying healing alchemy. Boy, he sure must feel like an idiot in this continuity where their next-door neighbors already had that figured out for centuries.

Armstrong doesn't seem to know what happened to Marcoh after the war. So Mustang didn't tell him?

Ed only wants to find him because he thinks he could know a way to restore their bodies.

Oh my god Armstrong is showing sketches of Marcoh to everyone in the city. Because it's not like there's a terrifying military dictatorship after him or anything.

The scene where they meet Marcoh plays out similarly, but it's played for comedy, with Marcoh actually firing but Ed dodging out of the way with a cartoony expression. Wow. Wow. A traumatized enabler of war crimes is so terrified of the idea the fascist finally found him he's desperate enough to shoot children? What a barrel of laughs!

And Armstrong convinces him to stand down by crushing him with a suit of armor, which is of course framed for comedy. What is tone.

Maybe it's just a translation difference, but Marcoh doesn't mention wanting to take his own life, just that "I could give my whole life and still not atone". That's a lot weaker.

Armstrong doesn't know what Marcoh was researching? WTF?

Marcoh shows them the Stone instead of Ed having to find it.

Ed pokes it, and we see that it's gel-like.

Marcoh says it's awful that Ed's a State Alchemist knowing what they did in the Ishbalan war. Ed says he knows but he has to do it anyway. He makes a really fancy metaphor.

Marcoh is impressed Ed transmuted Al's soul. So I guess that's a thing in the manga as well.

Marcoh just gives them an ominous warning about the research and throws them out. We get a similar thing where Ed says he knows he could have taken it, but he wants to do the right thing and not deprive the town of Marcoh's help. I dunno, this just feels token to me here. I liked how Ed admitted his younger self definitely would have taken the Stone in OG, and the fact that we directly see Marcoh helping the people makes Ed's decision feel more real. Show, don't tell.

Marcoh gives them directions to his library outright, and says he hopes not only that they'll figure out the truth but that they'll get their bodies back. Uh, so he hopes they'll use his research to kill a ton of people. Why. I also don't see why he can't just tell Ed everything now, when he's not under duress. This is like the worst of all possible worlds for this – not only does he have no reason to fear his research will be either destroyed or exploited and therefore no reason to tell anyone, he also has no reason to not spill all the beans if that's what he really wants.

Lust is waiting for Marcoh when he comes back. So I guess the torture's going to happen to him here too. How did she find him, though? I guess she was spying on Ed? Not like they were making a secret of it, so it wouldn't be hard.

Pinako calls Ed a "regular customer", so Ed probably did visit in this continuity.

There's a funny bit where Pinako says Ed's grown smaller. It's actually pretty good, I'm sad we didn't get it in OG.

Same bit with Winry hitting him with the wrench.

They show Winry the smashed automail and she freaks out. Slapstick where she punches Ed for wrecking it. She kicks Al too.

They explicitly show him attaching the spare, and there's a bit where he initially has trouble finding his balance. Nice detail.

No scene where Al convinces Ed to visit the grave, we just cut to him doing it.

The townspeople don't talk to Ed, just wave.

Pinako explains more about her relationship to the Elrics. Hoenheim was her drinking buddy, apparently.

Pinako tells Armstrong about Winry's parents' deaths and they commiserate over the evils of war.

This is where we learn the Elrics burned down their house. Pinako explains their reasoning, which I think is weaker than hearing it from their own mouths.

We get more shots of Winry working on the automail. Ed keeps harassing her and asking when it will be done.

Reattachment is only momentarily painful, and played for laughs.

Similar bit where Winry explains the new automail is weaker, but it's cut off. She just says she added more chrome to prevent rusting, nothing about the growth-stunting and all that.

Al's repair is a lot choppier.

They reuse the animation of Pinako blowing smoke a lot.

The brothers don't spar with Armstrong.

Winry reflects on how awful it is someone as young as Ed will be a weapon in the military.

Nothing about the watch.

Conclusion

I actually like the second half of the Brotherhood episode! The pacing feels fine, for once. Spending a whole episode on the Rockbell interlude maybe was a bit too much. OG could have easily merged 16 and 17 and probably come out the better for it. We miss out on a few things, but we gain a few other things too, and Brotherhood's additional comedy and lightheartedness is, for once, totally at home with this breather sequence. I feel like they're both viable alternatives with their own strengths, rather than any one being definitively better.

But the Marcoh side of things is absolutely awful. OG actually engaged with the horror implied by Marcoh being so desperate not to return. Marcoh was fully integrated into the narrative, not just a convenient plot device to be stumbled across. It took its own premise seriously. Brotherhood did not.

What I take away from this is that Brotherhood is perfectly capable of making a good breather episode when it wants to, and is maybe even better at it than OG, but it doesn’t understand how to do serious plots at all. It's really a shame it doesn't seem to understand where its strengths lie, and keeps rushing through the breather sections to spend more time on action. It's honestly kind of sad, like it doesn't trust its audience to stick with it through slow bits. Although, given that's the most common complaint about OG, perhaps it's justified.

[hellagayweird0]

Jay’s Season 14 Episode Chat

Episode 7

(I’m just letting everyone know that I skipped past all Nick scenes so notes will be absent for his stuff.  I’m just so tired of and done with him and his storyline.)

~ Oh Nick came on the screen, time to SKIP

~ CAS IS SUCH A CONCERNED DAD I’M NOT OKAY SOMEONE HEAL OUR CHILD

~ Oh they didn’t give him a new shirt, although he is coughing up blood every two seconds so

~ Wow it’s like a waiting room in this hallway, time to cry

~ I mean, it’s not that complicated.  He’s without his grace and his body is shutting down from the loss of it

~ Ok Dean, Cas isn’t a miracle worker, it’s not like he can just snap his fingers and find out exactly what’s going on

~ JACK DID YOU TRY TO GET UP OR SOMETHING WHAT

~ RABIES

~ Why are they taking him to a hospital, HE’S NOT A NORMAL PATIENT

~ I’m sorry but why does Dean yelling make me feel certain special ways?  I’m not okay with this (jk I’m very okay with it)

~ I love this lady 😂 she’s like “Don’t you fuckin sass me, boy.”

~ HIS NAME IS JACK KLINE WINCHESTER WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS BOYS

~ CAS SPELLING OUT KLINE I’M CRYING HE’S ADORABLE

~ WE HAVE A BIRTHDAY FOR SMALL NOUGAT

~ Dean’s glance at Sam 😂

~ Cas is so literal, has he not learned over the years 😂

~ Dean looking back like “Babe, you aren’t helping.”

~ CAS YOU HAD ONE JOB, WHY WERE YOU NOT HOLDING HIM

(At this point, I had to sit and leave the episode paused for about five minutes because I wasn’t ready to go through emotions and dads being concerned and cute)

~ alright well cut to me sobbing THEY’RE SUCH CONCERNED DADS THE TEARS WON’T STOP SOMEONE HELP

~ The fact that Dean’s come so far with Jack.  He went from “This kid is evil and I’ll murder him without a second thought.” to “Hey we’re right here, Jack.  You’ll be okay, we’ll take care of you.” He’s taking this the hardest out of everyone and you can tell that he really does care about Jack

~ Then WHY. WOULD. YOU. TAKE. HIM. THERE. IN. THE. FIRST. PLACE.??  It’s not like what he is is a surprise to you guys, you knew that they would’ve never seen anything like him.  Why are you now shocked to find out that they can’t do anything?

~ ROWENA QUEEN HELLO YES COME BACK I MISS YOU

~ JACK AND CAS’S TRENCH COAT EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY

~ Aw she’s concerned for Dean, give me a second to cry

~ JACK NO-

~ “I know people have a lot of strong feelings about my father.” OH MY DEAR YOU HAVEN’T MET THE FANDOM YET, IT’S A WHOLE NEW DEFINITION OF “strong feelings” OVER HERE

~ And you aren’t like him, baby.  You’re being good and I love you

~ Rowena saying “Bollocks.” gives me LIFE

~ MORE WAITING ROOM I CAN’T HANDLE ANY MORE CONCERNED DADS

~ EXCUSE ME DEAN WTF IS GOING ON WITH YOUR VISION, UM MICHAEL HELLO?  YOU IN THERE, BUDDY?

~ More Nick SKIP

~ AWW DEAN BRINGING JACK FOOD *gross sobbing*

~ YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, BE DONE BEING SPECIAL.  YOU ARE FOREVER SPECIAL.  YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE AND SPECIAL FOR THE REST OF YOUR VERY LONG LIFE, YOU AREN’T DYING

~ *cry break*

~ I don’t appreciate this blurry vision thing, what’s going on?  MICHAEL? 😂

~ Jack and Dean road trip LET’S DO THIS

~ Dean letting Jack drive Baby means he really trusts him.  NO ONE, and I mean, NO ONE, gets to drive Baby.  I’m so happy

~ HE’S SO PATIENT WITH SMALL BABY BOY, Dean, your dad is showing and I love it.  HE’S SO PROUD OF HIM

~ Baby looks so good and Jack driving Baby looks so good

~ Jack is copying Dean and my emotions just exploded

~ *ANOTHER CRY BREAK*

~ YES HE IS TAKING THIS HARD, HE’S GOTTEN ATTACHED TO THE KID

~ “Pretty rough.” oh i’m sorry is that what we’re calling ‘threatening to kill’ now?

~ THEY’RE EATING BURGERS TOGETHER

~ DON’T TAKE HIM TO A BAR HE’S AN INFANT 

~ Oh hi Ni- SKIP

~ THEY’RE FISHING (this got to me 1. because it’s fuckin adorable and i love bonding time.  and 2. because Jensen talks about fishing a lot so this made me happy seeing them doing this)

~ oh hi John

~ I. DON’T. LIKE. THIS. DEATH. TALK.

~ JACK STOP MAKING ME CRY YOU’RE TOO SWEET AND PURE

~ You’re only a baby and you’re already so wise I’M PROUD

~ “I’ve had a good life.”  He talks about it like he’s been alive for centuries

~ In this family, we love and support Cas’s new car, but um where did he get it from? 😂

~ well i guess you could say Cas is.....HOT.  I’ll let myself out

~ Cas sass is back, baby!

~ He’s Russian and I instantly adore

~ Oh yeah, they’ve met him alright

~ Um ‘fostering’?  How about adopted?  That’s more fitting

~ AW GABE HI

~ NO I DON’T TRUST “They owe me.” THAT’S GONNA COME UP LATER AT THE WORST TIME OR SOMETHING

~ Welcome back to Ni- INTENSE SKIP (but yeah Nick is a psychopath)

~ “Gimme them glowy eyes, gimme them glowy eyes, gimme them-YEAAAAAH” My commentary, everyone 😂 

~ AWW HE’S SO HAPPY, THEY’RE ALL SO HAPPY

~ how dare you, Dean, don’t blame Rowena

~ I KNEW IT WOULDN’T WORK I KNEW IT IT WAS TOO HAPPY AND TOO SOON AHHHH

~ this guy’s getting high i’m crying 😂

~ angry dad Cas giving me feelings

~ mother fucking Nick and Luci- SKIP SKIP SKIP- wait a second....LUCIFER NO NO NO NO GO AWAY NO LEAVE NO STOP NOOO- NICK YOU BITCH

~ NO NO MY SON WILL BE FINE DON’T YOU DARE SAY HE’S DYING HE ISNT HE’LL GET FIXED SOON AND IT’LL ALL BE GOOD NO CHILDREN ARE DYING

Well, I have to say, this episode made me cry more than any other episode has EVER.  Such an emotional rollercoaster.  I thought last episode was hard, but it doesn’t compare to this.  Not that it was bad, it wasn’t, it’s just that this episode was so much more emotional and intense.  

But it also had that soft element, when Dean and Jack took their little trip together.  That took me on an eyeball waterfall RIDE.  I’m so happy that these two are bonding more and Dean is giving Jack a chance.  You can really tell that he’s attached to Jack.  He likes him, he wants to see him happy and okay.  Dean is such a natural dad, he’s great with kids (when he isn’t offering to take them to bars and giving them beer 😂).

Next, POOR JACK.  My tiny, sweet baby isn’t okay which means I’m not okay.  I really hope they can fix him eventually.  If they can’t, I hope that if they kill him off, they bring him back.  I mean, in order to be a Winchester, you gotta die at least once, right?

Now....let’s discuss Lucifer.  *takes a deep breath*

WHAT THE FU-

I’m actually so angry.  I don’t understand AT ALL why he’s back.  Granted, he isn’t free yet, since he’s in the empty and there isn’t exactly a door that you can just walk out of and into the world.  BUT, he woke up.  Thanks to NICK.  Why is he back?  Why are the writers so set on bringing him back OVER and OVER and OVER again??  Don’t get me wrong, I love him.  He brought the sarcasm and humor to the show while also being evil.  He was great.....for the first few seasons (and for 12 because Jack).  After a while, he just got so repetitive.  It was like there were no other ideas for villains and they needed that bad guy, so they brought this one back.  Writers, WE. DON’T. WANT. HIM. ANYMORE.  He had his time and he needed to leave for good.  He died.  End of story....right?  NO.  Nick still being alive instantly made me suspicious and overall annoyed.  He should be gone, dead, bye.  But now, Lucifer is back because of him.  And I honestly couldn’t be more upset.  If we have to go through one more season with him, I’m flipping a table and throwing it at the writers office.

Can we bring back Michael? 😂 I LOVE AND MISS MICHAEL, I’LL TAKE HIM OVER LUCIFER ANY DAY

[hermanwatts]

Conan the Barbarian 2011

I wrote this review of Conan the Barbarian (2011) on September 3, 2011 immediately after seeing the movie. I put it up at the old Conan forum which is now gone. I have been meaning to run this for some time and thought why not now? So, let us travel back to 2011:

I caught Conan the Barbarian today. I am on vacation and had planned on seeing it. I was thinking of blowing it off, but it got to 91 degrees today with a dew point of 72 degrees. That converts to it being steam and I wasn’t going to do an eight-mile bike ride the way I planned.

Take home impression: This is a SyFy Channel movie with a big budget. Very influenced by the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.

What I didn’t like:

The Lord of the Rings pastiche opening was truly amateur looking with the paper mache stars

Ron “the Jewish barbarian” Perlman’s disguised as a Wookie. Made me think of the Wookie defense on South Park. Maybe the film makers wanted some sort of connection to Thundarr the Barbarian’s sidekick Ookla the Mok.

The Cimmerians were barbarians, not cavemen. Some wool tartans and Celtic mustaches would have gone a long way.

These supposedly bad ass barbarians live in a village that can be attacked easily. Where are the guards? A Celtic hill fort again would have been more appropriate.

The shaky camera used in the young Conan vs. Pict sequence.

I didn’t like Leo Howard as young Conan. He is too too swarthy. He looked he came from off the streets of Palermo or Naples.

We finally get to see the Nemedian Navy. The ship pulled by slaves? WTF!

It got to be a game for me to see what scene was swiped from what movie. The Raiders of the Lost Ark wagon chase, the double sword from Sword and the Sorcerer, the jump from the cliff from Swashbuckler, the attack on a monastery from any number of Kung Fu movies, the sand man attack from The Mummy, holding the baby up taken from Roots, the Freddy Kruger finger blades etc.

The editing was often horrible. Conan has his sword out on horseback, a couple of seconds later he is pulling his sword out.

The thief sidekick who stole Benny’s moves from The Mummy.

The constant shoving of swords into the ground. I cut a lot of wood with a chainsaw. If those steel blades hit dirt, you have to take off the chain and sharpen it. I seriously doubt anyone from a sword wielding age would do such a thing.

The swordplay with the father with swords hitting against each other would notch up the blades to point of being useless.

Some of the dialogue was cringe worthy. “You cut my nose!” Or Khalar Zym saying “Come on.”

I had this problem with Pathfinder. You don’t walk around half naked in the snow. I live in a cold place that has 4-5 months of deep snow on the ground. I have hunted deer in the snow. You don’t go out like those Picts with only pants on.

I didn’t realize wood exploded so well.

Those papier mache boulders rolled down on the slaver compound were pretty cheesy looking.

Blood doesn’t spurt out by the gallon with a back cut. I cut on people for a living and it doesn’t explode out unless you cut an artery.

Rachel Nichol’s character, Tamara, is supposed to be an Hyrkanian. Robert E. Howard describes the Hyrkanians as being tall and dark. They are Hyborian Age analogs to the Ottoman Turks. Rachel Nichols features are very Celtic with the very white skin and blue eyes. Not at all eastern looking at all.

What is the deal with the ersatz Shaolin monastery? Is this some half-assed attempt to segue into a Kung Fu movie?

Momo the Samoan

Jason Momoa had the character down better than Arnold “Chip Rommel” Schwarzenegger. I still think Christian Bale would have been my choice. He even could have spoken in his native Welsh accent.

Things I did like:

Hooter- some people complain about the gratuitous female nudity. I celebrate female anatomy!

Rose McGowan in my mind stole the scenes she was in.

Stephen Lang would have made a decent Xaltotun (with beard).

The Bulgarian countryside is obviously a great place to film a sword and sorcery movie.

The citadel in the last 20 minutes looked good.

I thought the last 20 minutes of the movie seemed to flow better than the earlier ¾ of the movie.

Rachel Nichols was good eye candy. She isn’t a great actress, but you don’t need Merle Streep for the Hyborian slave bimbo of the story.

I went in expecting worse. I caught the early bird 1:10 P.M. showing and saw it in 2D instead of 3D. Paid $5.00 which is an acceptable loss. I can’t say that I can recommend anyone spending $8.25 and will tell someone just to wait and catch it on Starz, Encore, or even SyFy Channel in a couple years.

The shame is plot items including Acheron and resurrecting a sorcerer (or in this case, a witch) has been used. Millenium Films/Avi Lerner, Donnelly & Oppenheimer, and director Marcus Nispel have peed in the proverbial swimming pool preventing a version of HOUR OF THE DRAGON.

I have the impression that this movie was made as a snatch & grab with no intent on making a sequel or future installments. This strikes me as a roll of the dice of take the money and run.

So, there you go. My thoughts from nine years ago. I have caught a few brief snatches of the movie on T.V. here and there but not sure if I could bring myself to sit for close to 2 hours to watch it again.

Conan the Barbarian 2011 published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

[soons-swimmingfool]

The Rose to my Romeo

In which you’re just trying to write a paper but it seems like destiny has other plans.

Libraries were one of your favourite places, they were quiet and soft; usually you’d love to be at the library, but not today. Today, you’re at the library to work on a paper you swore you’d start five days ago. The blank page in front of you has been staring at you for over an hour already and you’re at the point of snapping your entire laptop in half (and probably the chair you were sitting on too). It wasn’t like you didn’t know what you needed to write, you knew everything already, but finding the words to start the paper was always something you struggled with. You’d erased seven different introductory sentences because they just didn’t feel right. Your group chats kept saying that every sentence you sent to them was already really good, but that wasn’t exactly helpful. Slowly your mind begins to wander to less frustrating topics, but you quickly snap yourself back. You had suffered through three lectures today and it was already nearing six in the evening, all you wanted to do was get some words (that weren’t complete shit) on the paper and leave. You bob your head to smooth beats and type out the fourth sentence you had written. It wasn’t the greatest, but it was the best out of what you had come up with and you decide that you can always change it once the body of your paper had been completed. Somewhere along the line of bobbing and typing you start to slouch, pushing your laptop farther from you, you rest your head on the desk. A paragraph goes by like this before you drift off to sleep.

You blink twice and groan when you realize you fell asleep at the library. It’s 8:28pm and you only have three hundred words on the page. You sigh, but ultimately decide to work for at least an hour more so that you don’t feel like complete garbage for falling asleep. You go to start typing but feel a small tug on your pinky finger. Looking down, you see a red string tied around your finger and for a second you think you’re still sleeping. You look around and see a group of girls looking at you and the string while giggling. You figure you’re probably not dreaming, but then who the fuck thought it would be funny to tie you to a string that seemed to be going nowhere considering the twisty route it mapped out. You look around the rest of the library and see red string littered over what’s more or less the entire third floor. You shake your head, you’re about to get back to work, but you hear the girls disappointedly whisper about you not following after the string  so you save what little progress you’ve made and pack up all of your things (honestly the curiosity is killing you anyways). You wonder about just who in the heck did this and why. To be perfectly honest, you find this kind of fun, that is until you make your way over to the table of girls who were giggling earlier. You walk up to them without really paying attention to where you’re going so when a backpack and pair of sneakers enter the corner of your vision you look up at the three girls who are still giggling. Horrified, you follow the string with your eyes and confirm that the string runs under the table. Fuck that, you think, I’m taking this shit off. You go to remove the string from your pinky, but the person who tied this must have been a boy scout (or just kinky tbh) bc damn you and your double knot. The girls have given up on trying to be discreet and just out right laugh when you can’t get the string off. They all pick up their bags and move their chairs so you can crawl under their table. They wish you good luck after you get back up off the floor and you curse the person who did this to you in your head. Unfortunately for you (and fortunately for the girls) that wasn’t the only table you had to crawl under, seven tables later you start to pray that whoever is at the end of this string has life insurance bc bitch what the fuc k im gonna kick your ass hoe. You end up circling one bookshelf over 12 times and you’re  t i r e d  but you’ve already made such a fool of yourself that what else could go wrong.  The string is starting to get long so you take a break so that you can start winding it up around your arm (and totally not because you’re winded from walking around the library). Back into action, you follow the string all the way to a door. I’m almost done, you think. You’re about to kick down the door and storm in to find the bitch who did this to you, but before you can you look up and realize something utterly infuriating. THE. DOOR. SAYS. MENS. You hate them. You haven’t even met them. But you hate them. A lot. wHO THE FUCK DOES THIS AND THEN HIDES IN THE MENS BATHROOM BITCH???? You get so heated, even if I have to stay here the entire night im not moving until this bITCH comes out of there! You take a seat at the table nearest the door and it only takes 2 minutes for you to realize that you look like a whole fool. In those 2 minutes, one person has entered the bathroom and many have passed by your table. They all give you the same what the fu k are you doing??? look. You can’t really blame them though, you admittedly do look pretty crazy sitting down with a red string attaching you to something in the men’s lavatory. You sit there for another 40 seconds and it’s at that moment that you realize that the person who did this may not even be inside the bathroom! They may have just tied you to the sink (you really hope that it’s the sink) and left. Fuck this and them you think while you rummage through your bag for something to cut the damn string off your pinky. As you’re digging through however, you feel a tug on your pinky and whip around to see sHIT CUTE BOY HOLY SHIT HE’S CUTE (smh so much for killing him)!!!  You see that he’s also connected to the string by his own pinky.

“Are you the one who did all this?” You ask with narrow eyes.

Without answering your question, he looks between both of your pinky fingers and asks, “Have you ever heard of the red string of fate?”

That was so lame it was charming you think, but aloud you say, “No, why don’t you tell me about it?”

Without missing a beat he takes the seat in front of you and goes “Long story short: you and I are soulmates.”

It’s been a pretty long time since you’ve laughed that hard.

“I don’t even know your name and you’re calling me your soulmate?” You continue to laugh at him as he gives you the stink eye (which may or may not make your heart flutter a little bit).

“What’s the thing Romeo said? If Juliet was named Rose he’d still like her? Names don’t matter in the game of love.” He draws out the word love and accentuates it with a raised eyebrow.

You snort at him, “Romeo said that “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. I can’t believe you.” You start to laugh outright now, “Why would Romeo say he’d still like Juliet if she was named Rose?”

“Because he’s a romantic guy! Like me! They were soulmates and so are we!” the unknown boy is practically bouncing in glee right now.

You look at him , “Uhm, hello, tHEY DIED?!”

“Good point. Who else can we be then?” he starts pondering the options in his head and over his shoulder you see the three girls walking towards the stairs. You hear them squeal and they give you thumbs up before turning and all but tumbling down the stairs. You turn red in response. The boy in front of you shouts out in triumph “I know who we can be!”

You wait for him to tell you, but it seems like he’s waiting for you to ask so you do, “Who can we be?”

“Well for starters, you could be my girlfriend.” He snickers at the flush on your face and is obnoxious enough to wink at you as well.

“I’d ask who you think you are, but I know you’d either say “your boyfriend!” or “your soulmate” so I’ll just tell you this: if you weren’t so damn cute you’d be pretty fucking creepy.”

“You think I’m cute?” He smirks at you.

“I mean if we’re gonna be soulmates then you better hope so, buddy”

He grins at you and for a second your world kinda just falters and you catch yourself thinking woah wtf maybe we are soulmates. He gives you a soft look and before you know it he has your hand in his. “Here, I’ll take this off for you, my friends told me you were having a hard time.”

“Your friends?” You can feel your face heating up again, his hand is strong yet gentle and it makes you feel things.

“Those girls. They were giving me progress reports. I have a video if you’d like to watch!” He’s struggling with the knot and for a second you worry that he really got both of you stuck and you’re going to have to cut off your pinky, but then you see him try and stifle a laugh and you realize that he’s faking so he can hold your hand.

“You have a video?! Great, 15 minutes of me crawling under tables and looking like a complete idiot.”

“Actually, it’s 13:57 but—” He looks up and smiles at you (holy shit) he unties your pinky completely and gets to work on his.

“I can’t believe you.”

“Can’t believe that I went through all this trouble to ask you out or that I’m your boyfriend?”

“I still don’t even know your name—aND WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THIS STRING?!!”

He laughs softly, “I’m Woojin, and I may or may not have ran to the nearest dollar store after the idea popped into my head.”

It’s your turn to laugh as you respond “You’re more of an ‘act before you speak’ type of guy aren’t ya? I’m Ashley by the way, and please do not say you’ll still like me even if I was named Rose.”

“You see, now this is how I know we’re soulmates, I was actually going to say that.” You roll your eyes at him as he continues, “Your name is Ashley? I think there’s a name that suits you better than Ashley.”

“I swear if you say Rose…”

“Nope.”

“Your girlfriend?”

“No, but I like that too.” He smirks.

“Your soulmate?”

“Good guesses, but still wrong.”

“I give up, what is it?”

“Babe.”

“I hate you.” You get up to leave (honestly it’s to hide the flush) but Woojin grabs you by the arm first.

“No you don’t! We’re soulmates, Ashley!” He turns the two of you around and you feel the table behind you. “Tell me how you really feel, Ash.” He places both hands on the table behind you and leans on them. You look around because tHIS IS A PUBLIC SPACE PLEASE BACK UP!!! But you realize that there aren’t many people at the library at 9:30 on a friday night.

“Fine!” You take a breath and look him in the face “You’re stupid” He looks appalled and you laugh more from the mix of nerves and the face he’s making, “but I like you.”

“That was terribly cute, would it be okay if I kissed you, like,  right now?” He, quite frankly, looks enchanted.

You guffaw at him, but nod anyways. You wrap your arms around his neck and when he leans down and your lips meet you can almost taste the fate.

Part 1/? of the (Fake)Soulmates!au 

[royaltyau-logs]

RAU -- F2: The Church

Assassin Lavi where are we going again Assassin Lavi are we there yet Assassin Lavi are we there yet Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Princess Zuki is dying

Assassin Deak are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet Assassin Deak are we there yet

Princess Zuki are we there yet

Assassin Lavi /me are we there yet

Assassin Deak haha good job, lavi

Princess Zuki /me are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Pegasus Knight Lena shut the fuck up

Assassin Deak yes ma'am

Princess Zuki Afraid

Assassin Lavi ......

Assassin Deak ....

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet?

Assassin Lavi :'>

Pegasus Knight Lena im going to slaughter you two

Princess Zuki pls dont slaughter me they started it

Assassin Deak slaughter me Assassin Deak are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet

Princess Zuki are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak are we there yet

Assassin Lavi are we there yet Assassin Lavi are we there yet

Assassin Deak 4th wall whining

Assassin Lavi did Zuki die yet

Princess Zuki are we there yet Princess Zuki yes i did

Assassin Lavi swEET can I have ur kingdom

Princess Zuki nah!

Assassin Deak can,, can i have it?

Assassin Lavi what if I share it Assassin Lavi with Deak Assassin Lavi specifically

Princess Zuki nO

Assassin Deak ,,, Assassin Deak ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Assassin Deak lOUDER 4TH WALL WHINING

Assassin Lavi really tho are we there yet idk this territory that well

Princess Zuki i have No Idea

Assassin Lavi how do yo not know isn't this around your turf Assassin Lavi oh

Princess Zuki bitch i grew up in the castle

Assassin Lavi right b/c ur a shut-in

Pegasus Knight Lena yikes

Assassin Deak lavi, carry me Assassin Deak i'm tired of walking

Princess Zuki >:/

Assassin Deak neeehhh

Assassin Lavi no Assassin Lavi jump on the pegasus or something if ur tired I'm not ur steed

Assassin Deak laaaviiiiii

Pegasus Knight Lena fuck off dont you dare

Assassin Lavi no

Assassin Deak leaning on lavi

Assassin Lavi ....... Assassin Lavi shoves him Assassin Lavi : >

Assassin Deak carry me Assassin Deak ahbhgbHBSHFBG

Assassin Lavi goes skipping ahead Assassin Lavi tra-la-la

Assassin Deak aLMOST FALLS Assassin Deak ..... Assassin Deak skips after him

Princess Zuki ,,,is getting nervous bcuz of those two

Assassin Deak jabs lavi's side and jumps away, snickering

Assassin Lavi jumps!!!! Assassin Lavi >: (

Assassin Deak >: )

Assassin Lavi kicks at Deak's sIDE

Assassin Deak ?!?!?!

Assassin Lavi >: ) Assassin Lavi skipping is now spRINTING

Assassin Deak gETS HIT AND JUST Assassin Deak looks at lavi

Assassin Lavi b y e b i t c h

Assassin Deak sPRINTS AFTER HIM

Queen Alma: Would you two cease your tomfoolery already?

Assassin Deak we're going to get lost and it's going to get us lost Assassin Deak oh shit i forgot about her

Queen Alma okay bye i suppose

Assassin Lavi doDGES BACK and around Deak back towards everyone else lmao

Assassin Deak wait what the fuck was that wording

Assassin Lavi is like 5

Assassin Deak idk

Princess Zuki gets rlly nervous around alma tBH

Pegasus Knight Lena :3c

Queen Alma i hate this trip already u guys havent said a single thing wtf

Princess Zuki is just Silent

Assassin Lavi 'scuse me ur Highness Alma just gonna hide behind u for a moment laughing like a little shit : >

Princess Zuki @ghost thing pls leave soon\

Queen Alma: I presume you've been briefed on the going-ons lately, Princess? Figuring it borders on your domain also?

Assassin Lavi waggly fingers at Deak

Queen Alma: Unless you haven't been paying attention, that is.

Princess Zuki snAPS HER HEAD UP AND NODS QUICKLY Princess Zuki: y-yes, ma'am! that is why i'm here.

Queen Alma: Good, good. And why are you two here, exactly?

Assassin Deak .... Assassin Deak slowly walks back to the others

Assassin Lavi: Hm?

Queen Alma: Actually, it doesn't matter.

Assassin Deak just gonna stay silent

Assassin Lavi shrugs and smiles impishly at Deak Assassin Lavi: Givin' up already?

Princess Zuki ,,,just. nervously looks around

Assassin Deak i'm going to punch you

Pegasus Knight Lena u guys r dumb

Queen Alma: Either way, as you should know, the Church is shared between the borders of Aeyusea and Cicia, and as such is a common place between the two Kingdoms. It isn't uncommon to have them merge in the church, and at times ends with someone switching the Kingdom they're residing in. With limitations of course - once you move a Kingdom you become a traitor to the other and aren't allowed access to the opposing side. The church allows a method to switch, or to prevent any... harm coming from entering the opposite side as it normally would.

Princess Zuki nod nod

Queen Alma: However, recently an increase in odd creatures along the border has occurred, and these have moved between the Kingdoms and... ah... killed some of the residents of either Kingdom.

Assassin Lavi define "dumb" Assassin Lavi b/c I beg to differ

Assassin Deak kinda sorta listening, kinda sorta not Assassin Deak just. plotting a murder

Queen Alma: Hence the need for us to figure out what is happening over there to cause it. It has already been pinpointed to be the location the beasts are spawning from.

Pegasus Knight Lena you and your brother Pegasus Knight Lena is the definition

Assassin Lavi: Beasts y'say? Assassin Lavi: An' here I thought this was a vacationary road trip

Assassin Deak y a w  n s

Assassin Lavi kidding

Assassin Deak sTRETCHEEESSS

Queen Alma: I would be more wary than you both are being currently. Queen Alma: From what I understand, the creatures do quite a well job at ripping things apart. Queen Alma : / Queen Alma at least the princess has more sense

Assassin Deak can't be too casual but is always looking for the sweet embrace of death

Princess Zuki noDS

Assassin Deak: sounds like my kind of trip.

Assassin Lavi just gives Deak a look

Queen Alma: Does it now?

Assassin Lavi u stop that

Princess Zuki: ...please start acting like you'll leave alive.

Assassin Deak: mhm~

Princess Zuki: we have reputations to hold up.

Assassin Deak l a u  g h s

Princess Zuki S A V A G E

Assassin Lavi: We've been well trained in the arts of self-defense. There's no need to worry over our well-being, Your Highness.

Queen Alma: Surely, otherwise you would be lesser than a fool to join us. Queen Alma wait then why is the princess here

Princess Zuki bcuz

Queen Alma are you going to finish that thought

Assassin Lavi that's a good question

Princess Zuki ,,,

Assassin Lavi but I didn't ask b/c I don't really care

Princess Zuki i have no idea where mr kanda is and i need to show the people i car E

Queen Alma maybe the beasts killed kanda

Assassin Lavi she's here to be the sacrificial bait Assassin Lavi : >

Princess Zuki he probably tastes too gross to eat Princess Zuki I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Queen Alma who said anything about eating Queen Alma these creatures dont eat the people they kill

Princess Zuki ,,,,oh

Queen Alma they just kill them to kill them

Assassin Deak they tore him apart

Queen Alma yeah

Assassin Deak rest in pieces, kanda

Princess Zuki mr kanda's too strong to lose so,,, um,,, he's alive,,,

Queen Alma if youre so sure Queen Alma: There's the church. Queen Alma who's going in first Queen Alma : )

Assassin Lavi raises his hand over his eye and squints

Assassin Deak ,,,

Assassin Lavi: There indeed~

Princess Zuki looks at lavi n deak Princess Zuki they go in first >:U

Assassin Deak steps, over behind lavi Assassin Deak shoves him

Princess Zuki theyre nothin but Trouble

Assassin Deak: go on.

Pegasus Knight Lena hahahah Pegasus Knight Lena lame

Assassin Lavi looks-- Assassin Lavi HEY Assassin Lavi ELBOWS Deak Assassin Lavi >: (

Pegasus Knight Lena oh my god pls dont do this again

Assassin Deak sLAPS lavi on the back of the head

Assassin Lavi: ....... Assassin Lavi Later (tm) Assassin Lavi >:L

Assassin Deak : > Assassin Deak anyway, Assassin Deak: lavi should go in first.

Assassin Lavi: Perhaps it is presumptuous of me, but I assume-- Assassin Lavi: no

Queen Alma: Who?

Assassin Deak: ... Assassin Deak fu ck Assassin Deak fUCK FUCK FUCK Assassin Deak: uh...

Assassin Lavi ....

Assassin Deak: meow?

Queen Alma: I didn't know that was your name?

Assassin Lavi WAY TO GO SHITBIRD

Princess Zuki: ...

Queen Alma looks @ lavi

Assassin Deak FUCK

Assassin Lavi: ...its not

Assassin Deak: it's a nickname.

Princess Zuki siGHS

Queen Alma: ..........

Princess Zuki: i'll go in.

Assassin Deak: we have nicknames for each other.

Queen Alma: You two contradict one another far too much.

Princess Zuki A BRAVE

Queen Alma: It makes you suspicious. Queen Alma :I

Princess Zuki heads on in tbH

Assassin Lavi: ...he thinks he's clever

Queen Alma o there she go

Assassin Lavi: So he gives me stupid nicknames

Queen Alma narrows her eyes at them

Assassin Lavi :I

Queen Alma: I see. Queen Alma fucking liars

Assassin Deak i Assassin Deak i'm tired so i'm not even gong to argue Assassin Deak this is why i stay quiet

Queen Alma: Well, we ought not waste more time with trivial names. Queen Alma follows after zuki Queen Alma im watching u two

Assassin Lavi guess this means we can go in last : >

Pegasus Knight Lena: Hurry up and go in you two.

Assassin Lavi good luck everyone else

Pegasus Knight Lena no fuck u im going last

Assassin Lavi tailing along Assassin Lavi second-last then Assassin Lavi w/e

Princess Zuki coME ON PEOPLE

Assassin Deak follows

Princess Zuki I HAVE PRINCESS DUTIES BACK AT HOME TO ATTEND TO

Assassin Deak ain't scared Assassin Deak no way

Assassin Lavi assuming u even survive

Pegasus Knight Lena goes in after them and slams the door rlly loud bc y not

Assassin Deak jUMPS

Assassin Lavi was that necessary

Pegasus Knight Lena lauGHS Pegasus Knight Lena IT SCARED HIM

Assassin Lavi also kinda jumped a little tbh

Assassin Deak whirls around, holding his breath

Pegasus Knight Lena iS LAUGHing

Assassin Deak tries to laugh to show he finds it funny but Assassin Deak doesn't

Pegasus Knight Lena: My apologies. Pegasus Knight Lena totally insincere but Pegasus Knight Lena turns to try and open the door Pegasus Knight Lena .........................

Assassin Deak: ...it's quite alright. Assassin Deak ...................

Pegasus Knight Lena: .....................................

Princess Zuki ....................

Assassin Lavi just kinda looking between Lena and Alma and Zuki

Pegasus Knight Lena: It's locked, ahahahahhh..................................

Assassin Lavi: ....... Assassin Lavi: Well that's what you get for slamming it Assassin Lavi: Probably broke the damn thing Assassin Lavi smfh

Pegasus Knight Lena oops

Princess Zuki: ...doors don't break like that.

Assassin Lavi: Way to go

Princess Zuki couGHS

Assassin Lavi: Its possible

Queen Alma: There are other doors, let's continue moving. Stop breaking doors. Queen Alma very intense eye roll here

Assassin Lavi shrugging and following along

Princess Zuki follOWS TOO

Assassin Lavi is making it a point to look up also b/c nobody ever looks up and that's usually where shit is sitting in wait lmao

Queen Alma or behind you Queen Alma maybe you should walk backwards too

Assassin Lavi Deak is behind me Assassin Lavi and Lena is behind him

Queen Alma: As you can see, the church is in disarray. Prior to those beasts, it had been well kept, figuring it was the centerpoint between our two Kingdoms.

Princess Zuki nods

Queen Alma: What a mess.

Assassin Deak is getting really tired of this act tbh Assassin Deak really really tired but

Pegasus Knight Lena what act squinty eyes

Assassin Lavi kinda looks like something I'd expect to see in Birland tbh Assassin Lavi my kinda scenery Assassin Lavi: ...guess the beasts must'a got the groundskeeper

Princess Zuki: my mother would... visit this place regularly, a-as an act of peace.

Assassin Lavi just gonna kinda skirt around the room and give the place a look-see for signs of any alleged "beasts" like carnage or damage etc. Assassin Lavi scratches... bones... droppings... any of that fun stuff

Queen Alma: Ironically this Church was built over the grounds that the dead soldiers were buried in when the War between our Kingdoms occurred in the last reigns. It was built for peace over the bodies of soldiers of both sides.

Princess Zuki nod nod

Assassin Lavi: ...so this place has catacombs underneath?

Assassin Deak: ....how interesting.

Queen Alma: It does. The Church sealed the catacombs years ago due to an... accident. Queen Alma side eyes zuki

Princess Zuki looks down Princess Zuki nods tho

Assassin Deak hums,,

Assassin Lavi: ...accident?

Assassin Deak slowly tilts his head Assassin Deak steps up to walk beside of lavi

Queen Alma casually doesn't reply to that

Assassin Lavi tilting his head also

Princess Zuki coughs,,,

Assassin Lavi: So... allegedly it should still be locked up, ya?

Queen Alma: There were reports that the catacombs had been opened sometime prior, but when I had come to check they were still sealed.

Assassin Lavi hums

Queen Alma: The only object out of place was a marble, but I presume a child had dropped it when the last event was held.

Assassin Deak is actually interested Assassin Deak jiji would love this place

Assassin Lavi: So were they sealed to keep people out... or... to keep something in?

Queen Alma frowns

Princess Zuki: ...to keep people out. Princess Zuki isnt even gonna entertain that thought

Assassin Deak: ...astonishing. Assassin Deak: simply amazing.

Assassin Lavi: Grave-robbers, mayhaps?

Queen Alma: ...

Assassin Deak there's that twinkle in his eye

Princess Zuki: anyone.

Assassin Lavi rolls his eye Assassin Lavi: Obviously.

Princess Zuki scratches the back of her head

Assassin Deak: it's very interesting.

Princess Zuki looks down again

Assassin Lavi hums Assassin Lavi: So should we see if the place is still sealed up as its supposed to be?

Princess Zuki: ...are you volunteering? Princess Zuki glanCES BACK AT HIM

Assassin Lavi laughs Assassin Lavi: Not a chance.

Queen Alma: There is another thing.

Assassin Lavi: The trained soldier should be the one to check it out first, right? Assassin Lavi looking @ u Lena

Pegasus Knight Lena offended Pegasus Knight Lena glares

Assassin Deak: another thing?

Assassin Lavi I am but a humble Earl's son don't expect me to go in there first

Pegasus Knight Lena: I believe you had mentioned you were well-trained, did you not Lavi?

Assassin Deak is thoroughly interested now

Assassin Lavi: Astor Assassin Lavi: Its Astor Assassin Lavi : /

Assassin Deak glances back at lena Assassin Deak: i am the only one allowed to call him that.

Pegasus Knight Lena: Then perhaps publicly calling such isn't wise.

Assassin Lavi: And I said I was trained to defend myself, but surely nowhere near as trained as yourself even so.

Pegasus Knight Lena wimps

Assassin Deak: ladies first.

Assassin Lavi I believe that's what we in Birland prefer to call a wise choice

Queen Alma .................. Queen Alma: No, nevermind. Queen Alma: The catacomb entrance is just through here. Queen Alma gestures to the archway

Assassin Lavi: But now we're curious~

Assassin Deak: you... you said there was another thing.

Queen Alma: It has no connection to this event.

Assassin Deak ,,,nods slowly

Assassin Lavi shrugs and follows along at the rear, keeping his eye and ears and smell open for anything weird

Princess Zuki oughta make deak and lavi go first since they're so interested >:/

Pegasus Knight Lena which one of u is gonna get hit by the falling chandelier Pegasus Knight Lena that happens in horror movies rite

Assassin Deak me Assassin Deak i am

Princess Zuki will make a Heroic Sacrifice if she does

Pegasus Knight Lena are you

Pegasus Knight Lena hEROIC SACRIFICES ARENT ALLOWED IN THIS GANG

Assassin Deak that'd be a fancy way to die

Princess Zuki bUT IM A PRINCESS

Queen Alma: As I said, the entrance to the catacombs is sealed. Queen Alma told u bitches

Princess Zuki nods

Queen Alma: No one has opened them since the incident, thankfully.

Assassin Deak is starting to get cold chills ngl Assassin Deak doesn't know if they're from fear or something else

Princess Zuki nods again

Princess Zuki: it's... how it should be. Princess Zuki is kinda quiet she doesnt wanna annoy

Assassin Lavi we brought torches to see by right

Assassin Deak no Assassin Deak haha jk idk

Pegasus Knight Lena it isnt dark losers

Assassin Lavi oh okay

Princess Zuki is just kinda lowkey a bystander

Pegasus Knight Lena wait is it

Assassin Deak oooo spooky scary

Assassin Lavi idk I assumed b/c we're inside unless there's windows Assassin Lavi and daylight

Princess Zuki i thought it'd be somewhat like a cave as in it's dark naturally bcuz no natural light Princess Zuki besides torches or w/e

Assassin Lavi: So y'know for sure this place has stayed sealed up the whole time? What if someone opened and shut it again so it just looks that way?

Pegasus Knight Lena ok ur rite Pegasus Knight Lena then we r dumb and didnt bring torches rip 4ever

Assassin Lavi wow that is terrible planning

Assassin Deak sux 2 suqq

Queen Alma: There isn't signs of tampering. By all means, try to pry it open if you'd like.

Assassin Deak luckily, i see well in the dark so

Queen Alma is v far from the sealed catacomb entrance Queen Alma like v far

Assassin Lavi same

Queen Alma not getting near if ur gonna try that

Assassin Lavi hums and goes near the door I guess

Pegasus Knight Lena holy shit dont

Princess Zuki stands back n watches

Assassin Deak walks with lavi

Princess Zuki: u...um...

Assassin Lavi: ...y'know this'd be easier if we had some light

Assassin Deak bye, here we go

Assassin Lavi: to see by Assassin Lavi who's the wimp now

Assassin Deak : >

Pegasus Knight Lena me but id rather not die

Princess Zuki glances up at alma like "are u sure ur gonna let them do this"

Pegasus Knight Lena if something comes out of that

Queen Alma has left the room

Assassin Deak goodbye alma

Assassin Lavi just kinda lightly testing the door for movement. Isn't dumb enough to actually open it tho lol

Princess Zuki is sloooowly backing away

Assassin Deak i want to open it Assassin Deak cAN I OPEN IT?

Assassin Lavi do not

Pegasus Knight Lena also backing off

Assassin Lavi holding his hand against a crack in the doors to feel if air is coming through it too

Assassin Deak there could be something interesting behind it and we could discover something no one else has

Assassin Lavi b/c if there's air coming through its not that tight

Pegasus Knight Lena: Well?

Princess Zuki ,,,,is gonna leave the room too

Assassin Lavi: ...Its hard to tell... but I think I feel a little bit of a draft through the cracks... just a little

Princess Zuki leaves the room too

Assassin Lavi bye Zuki

Princess Zuki qu EEN ALMA WHERE ARE U I FEEL UNSAFE

Queen Alma far away Queen Alma actually i just went to go get a torch

Assassin Deak 's eye widens and he just gets this spark of mischief Assassin Deak looks at lavi

Princess Zuki pls let me stay next to u im afraid

Queen Alma im back at the entrance Queen Alma ill be right back

Assassin Deak: ;; deak confirmed for the dumb, curious one in a horror game/movie

Pegasus Knight Lena: So it was opened then.

Assassin Deak: ...seems so~

Assassin Lavi: ...Probably

Pegasus Knight Lena walks over to the entrance and looks down at it Pegasus Knight Lena: Should we... go down?

Queen Alma coming back with a torch

Assassin Lavi grins a little bit sheepishly and steps behind her

Queen Alma glances at zuki Queen Alma: Well?

Assassin Lavi: After you : >

Princess Zuki: um...

Assassin Deak is gONNA OPEN THE DOOR

Princess Zuki looks back and then down at her feet

Assassin Lavi nO I MEANT AFTER LENA

Princess Zuki: i think... i-it might've been opened.

Assassin Deak I WANNA DO IT

Queen Alma: ..........

Assassin Lavi get your ass back here Deak >: (

Queen Alma: What?

Assassin Deak nO Assassin Deak MAKE ME

Assassin Lavi sO HELP ME

Assassin Deak kneels down,, Assassin Deak gonna do it

Pegasus Knight Lena: Wait, what are you doing?

Princess Zuki: that... boy, um... lavi, i think? said there was a bit of a draft through the cracks.

Queen Alma: Impossible. I made sure those were sealed. Queen Alma is v salty Queen Alma watch out she salty af

Princess Zuki: ...how thoroughly did you check..?

Assassin Lavi: Its Astor

Queen Alma is storming back into the room Queen Alma: Don't question me.

Princess Zuki follOWS

Assassin Lavi: And Indulf don't you dare!

Princess Zuki: m-my apologies.

Assassin Lavi salTY BRO NOISES

Assassin Deak ,,, Assassin Deak ,,,,,,,,,,,

Assassin Deak lifts a hand

Queen Alma: Do not open that.

Assassin Deak ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Assassin Deak ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Assassin Lavi I stg Deak

Queen Alma dONT DO IT

Assassin Deak slowly stands up

Assassin Lavi ur supposed to let the oTHER PEOPLE GO FIRST SO IF--

Queen Alma making her way over 2 the door

Assassin Deak: alright, alright.

Assassin Lavi that's right u get ur ass back here

Assassin Deak steps over to lavi

Pegasus Knight Lena hahah schooled

Queen Alma: How could it be open? Are you sure you didn't open it by mistake? Queen Alma: While you were checking?

Assassin Lavi: ...just feels like there's a draft coming through it, usually means its not sealed very tight

Queen Alma: ........

Assassin Lavi shRUGS

Queen Alma just reaches over and yanks the doors opennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn wow it smells like stale and decomposing bodies thats gros

Assassin Lavi wrinkles his nose Assassin Lavi yeP THAT'S A SMELL

Assassin Deak o h myg od Assassin Deak honestly gAGS

Queen Alma covers her face yikes

Assassin Deak should be used to it but. not that many

Pegasus Knight Lena: So........................ fresh?

Assassin Lavi pulls a cloth up to tie around his face tbh Assassin Lavi so he can breaaathe Assassin Lavi: ..... Assassin Lavi: Fresh enough Assassin Lavi: How long ago did you say this church was erected again?

Assassin Deak wow, thanks for covering me, asshole

Princess Zuki COVERS HER NOS E

Assassin Deak coughs and gags

Queen Alma is pretty irritated Queen Alma: During the last Queen's reign. Queen Alma starts making her way down the steps w/ the torch of course

Princess Zuki follows tbh

Assassin Lavi u have ur own cloth or something don't u

Queen Alma: When I last checked the doors were sealed. It would have had to occur after I checked the doors.

Assassin Deak his mouth is all watery and his eye is watering too Assassin Deak n o

Queen Alma dEAL WITH IT

Assassin Lavi oh Assassin Lavi well Assassin Lavi RIP u then

Assassin Deak thanks

Assassin Lavi u can stay here if u want I guess

Queen Alma: The traps should still be set also.

Assassin Lavi following along behind Alma

Queen Alma: Watch your steps.

Assassin Deak also no Assassin Deak rips a piece of his cravat to use a makeshift cloth Assassin Deak quickly follows after lavi

Princess Zuki is lookin around

Pegasus Knight Lena walks in last yolo not slamming doors this time Pegasus Knight Lena oh wait the doors just slammed : ' )

Assassin Lavi: ......

Pegasus Knight Lena: ...................

Assassin Lavi: ....didn't you learn your lesson last time

Pegasus Knight Lena: I swear it wasn't me.

Assassin Lavi didn't see tbh just heard it and also heyoooo its hella dark other than the torch Assassin Lavi: ...uh huh

Pegasus Knight Lena: It wasn't!

Assassin Deak f reezes up

Assassin Lavi: Gonna laugh again if we start jumping at shadows?

Princess Zuki: please cease your bickering. it's tiring.

Pegasus Knight Lena: I told you, I didn't do it!

Princess Zuki is done with ur shit

Assassin Deak takes a few shallow breaths before trying to breathe normally again

Queen Alma y didnt u guys bring torches

Assassin Lavi we haven't even bickered that long

Queen Alma why does the floor sound squishy suddenly

Assassin Lavi b/c u had a torch? Assassin Lavi: ....... Assassin Lavi ew god that's a sound I don't like to hear Assassin Lavi: ....what's that noise

Princess Zuki ,,,is just gonna. stay on the stairs

Assassin Lavi: What did you step in

Princess Zuki: ...the floor.

Queen Alma: I'm sure it's nothing.

Assassin Lavi is taking this whole thing calmly tbh

Assassin Deak i ' m g o i n g t o p u k e

Queen Alma: Keep up or there won't be any light left.

Assassin Lavi or as much as is possible

Assassin Deak is not the calm on e Assassin Deak is the very paranoid and angry one

Queen Alma squish squish squish squish

Assassin Lavi pushes Zuki along but gently Assassin Lavi: Keep movin' or get outta the way

Queen Alma stops moving for a moment to look back at them

Assassin Deak gags again

Princess Zuki almoST FALLS OVER

Queen Alma: Really, have you never been in catacombs before? Queen Alma: Do you believe someone comes down here to clean things, my Lord.

Assassin Deak: yes... but it's... it's never been this bad. Assassin Deak: my apologies...

Princess Zuki: it's not necessarily a habit one would like to get into, ma'am.

Queen Alma narrows her eyes Queen Alma: Truly.

Princess Zuki: it's only natural for one to be disgusted. Princess Zuki walks tho

Pegasus Knight Lena squish squish squish squish

Assassin Lavi: Limlan doesn't really need many catacombs... big open country. Plenty of room for graveyards above ground. Assassin Lavi ew its squishy

Pegasus Knight Lena u feel that slimy shit Pegasus Knight Lena the slick Pegasus Knight Lena squishy Pegasus Knight Lena surface

Princess Zuki we're stepping on a big pizza confirmed

Assassin Lavi: ...gonna ruin my good boots walking in whatever this is

Pegasus Knight Lena that should not be how floors feel

Assassin Lavi: It better wash out

Queen Alma: It would... be best not to look down then.

Assassin Deak is it blood?

Princess Zuki: quit complaining. it could be much worse than this.

Assassin Deak oh my god Assassin Deak it is, isn't it?

Assassin Lavi sliPS

Queen Alma: If someone has come down here, the traps probably went off and... reduced them to less than li- Queen Alma wow

Assassin Lavi u better move it fast Zuki Assassin Lavi there's a tree falling

Assassin Deak trIES TO GRAB ONTO LAVI TO KEEP HIM FROM FALLING BUT Assassin Deak there he goes,,

Pegasus Knight Lena tIMBER

Princess Zuki mOVES

Assassin Deak ,,,,

Assassin Lavi hits the...

Assassin Deak: ...astor?

Assassin Lavi oh god what is th i  s

Queen Alma: Oh dear.

Assassin Lavi what is on these floooors

Queen Alma you really dont want to know

Assassin Lavi trying to geT UP

Queen Alma like seriously Queen Alma: If I were you, I would stand quicker than anything.

Assassin Lavi: Get offa me!

Assassin Deak offers lavi a hand

Assassin Lavi @ Deak

Assassin Deak ?!?

Assassin Lavi oh I thought u fell on me

Assassin Deak wHAT THE FUCK

Assassin Deak nO

Queen Alma you fell too

Assassin Deak wOW

Queen Alma oh

Assassin Deak N O I DIDNT

Assassin Lavi takING THAT HAND UP

Assassin Deak i tried to catch lavi but

Assassin Lavi: ...I don't even think I want to know...

Queen Alma: Try not to use your imagination to think of what you just landed on.

Assassin Lavi trying to brush himself off ew ew

Queen Alma turns and continues walking

Assassin Deak: ...it's probably blood.

Assassin Lavi I'm prob gonna have to burn these cloTHES

Assassin Deak: bodily fluids....

Queen Alma: If it were only blood.

Assassin Lavi >: ( Assassin Lavi: ...... Assassin Lavi: you... Assassin Lavi: sound like

Assassin Deak gags ag ain

Assassin Lavi: you know

Queen Alma: I believe I said I've been down here before. Queen Alma did i

Assassin Deak: wh...what is it?

Queen Alma i cant remember

Assassin Lavi goodbye jacket u were a dear friend 2 me but this nastiness is a dealbreaker

Princess Zuki: i don't think giving subtle hints as to what the substance is would help much.

Queen Alma: I also said you wouldn't want to kno--

Princess Zuki >:/

Assassin Lavi pushes Deak ahead of him

Queen Alma: I would rather avoid them gagging on the floor.

Assassin Lavi u go first this time so I don't slip again

Pegasus Knight Lena ew

Princess Zuki: you could avoid that entirely by not repeating yourself on the matter.

Assassin Deak ?!?!?!

Princess Zuki: some things are best left alone. Princess Zuki is weirdly calm rn idk why

Queen Alma: Coming from you, that means less than anything.

Assassin Deak fALL S BA CK Assassin Deak got it,, in his hair,,,

Assassin Lavi: ...I don't think I'm--

Queen Alma >: (

Assassin Deak haha,,, Assassin Deak ha,,,,

Assassin Lavi ??!?!

Princess Zuki: when does anything i say affect you? i'm but a naive princess to you.

Queen Alma: Truly.

Assassin Lavi RIP Deak's hair Assassin Lavi time 2 shave it all off Assassin Lavi: ...anyway I don't think I'm ever gonna get the smell out of my nose

Assassin Deak quickly scrambles to stand up, pretty much  on the verge of a panic attack but u kNOW HE'S FINE Assassin Deak nO Assassin Deak I'M NOT GONNA SHAVE IT OFF

Assassin Lavi: ...... Assassin Lavi: Everybody stop moving

Assassin Deak panicking even more

Queen Alma stops moving and turns around

Assassin Deak but like. silently and quickly breathing

Queen Alma: What is it?

Assassin Lavi just grabs Deak and holds him still Assassin Lavi: ...just be quiet

Queen Alma eXCUSe Me

Assassin Lavi he's listening Assassin Lavi: ...I thought I heard something

Assassin Deak w himpers quietly

Assassin Lavi I'd hug u if u weren't gross with god only knows what rn Assassin Lavi but u are gross Assassin Lavi rn Assassin Lavi: ....did anyone else hear anything or just me?

Queen Alma: Unless you hear the dead, I haven't heard anything.

Assassin Deak i 'm dy in g

Princess Zuki: it... may have just been you.

Assassin Lavi hums

Assassin Deak closes his eye and tries to recollect himself but he's shaking and just. thIS SHOULDN'T BOTHER HIM

Queen Alma: Onwards, then. Queen Alma turns once more and walks forward again

Assassin Lavi walks ahead of Deak to where Alma is with the light and looks around for something like a stone or w/e

Queen Alma: Try not to slip.

Assassin Lavi: ...I'll try not to

Assassin Deak walks slowly

Assassin Lavi is that a leg bone

Queen Alma why are you looking for a stone Queen Alma dont look at that

Assassin Lavi something to throw

Queen Alma oh go for it

Assassin Lavi make a little bit of noise u know Assassin Lavi see if something answers

Queen Alma wait what Queen Alma thERES NOTHING DOWN HERe

Assassin Lavi but not like. Right where we're standing

Assassin Deak can something but really nothing touch my leg bc i could help with that Assassin Deak with how paranoid i am rn haha rip

Assassin Lavi gonna just hurl that leg bone down the corridor to make some noise :'> Let's hope there's no sound that answers it

Assassin Deak good job, lavi Assassin Deak good job

Assassin Lavi look if there's something else here Assassin Lavi I want to hear it coming

??? joined the chat

Assassin Deak f u c k

??? dripping noises gradually getting louder

Princess Zuki oH BOY

Assassin Lavi: ........

Queen Alma what the fuck did u just do

Assassin Lavi quietly

Princess Zuki ,,,is starting to hear a thing

Assassin Lavi: I told you I heard something

??? scraping noises against the walls

Assassin Lavi backing way tf up tbh Good Luck Alma

Queen Alma: ...

Assassin Deak 's eye widens and just. turns

Princess Zuki cRINGES Princess Zuki HATES THAT NOISE

Assassin Deak gonna walk away now

??? the door is locked behind you

Assassin Deak goodbye Assassin Deak fUCK

??? i locked it remember

Assassin Deak moves around lena

??? you fell in onto the ground, i can smell you guys ??? you can run but you can't hide ??? ill find you

Assassin Deak l e av e me alONE

Assassin Lavi but if we smell like the floor doesn't that mean we'll just Assassin Lavi blend in

??? hahahahahahah thats funny ??? that floor is only in that one area ??? so i know when something is down here

Assassin Lavi o shit

??? so i can find it ??? kill it

Assassin Lavi so anyway

Assassin Deak YaNKS ON THE DOOR

Assassin Lavi goes behind Lena and pushes her forward a bit

Assassin Deak PANICKING VERY QUIETLY

Assassin Lavi: You're up. Assassin Lavi : >

Pegasus Knight Lena: W-what Pegasus Knight Lena what

Assassin Deak YANK, YANK, YANK

Assassin Lavi do ur job

Assassin Deak yANK

Assassin Lavi dEAK STOP YANKING THE DOOR

Assassin Lavi going over to Deak and juST

Pegasus Knight Lena this isnt smart

Assassin Lavi: stop that

Pegasus Knight Lena: What am I supposed to go after, I can't see anything!

Assassin Deak looks at him and has that look of a caged animal

??? here i come ??? ready or not

Assassin Deak growls quietly

Assassin Lavi its fine if u keep making noise it'll prob find u

Princess Zuki iS TRYING TO BE BRAVE

Assassin Deak s t o p s

??? drip drip drip ??? scrape scrape scrape ??? nails on a chalkboard now

Princess Zuki tf are u doin tryin to make us need to pee--

Assassin Lavi: Too much noise. Stay quiet. Remember your training.

Princess Zuki OW OK NOPE Princess Zuki coVERS HER EARS

Assassin Deak n o d s

Assassin Lavi th a t's not a nice sound

Assassin Deak closes his eye and just. tryING TO IGNORE IT

??? i can hear the beating of your hearts and you can hear mine

Assassin Lavi takes Deak's hand to lead him through the dark and stay together. If they can just find a good hiding spot somewhere in the dark... different hallway maybe

??? audible ??? loud ??? clear

Assassin Lavi thAT'S AN EVEN NOT NICER SOUND

Assassin Deak follows after lavi, tRYING TO STAY CALM AND QUIET

Princess Zuki whiNES SOFTL Y

Queen Alma: The path doesn't split unless you go further up. Queen Alma: It's a straight hall.

Assassin Lavi .....

??? here i come

Assassin Lavi sh it

??? tick tock tick tock ??? heavy breathing, heart pounding

Assassin Lavi: ...maybe we can make it to where the hall splits faster than it can?

Assassin Deak: ...perhaps.

Queen Alma: Isn't it in front of us?

Assassin Lavi how wide is this hall btw Assassin Lavi: ...hence

Assassin Deak: if... if we don't though, i....

Assassin Lavi: "before it can"

Assassin Deak: ....

Queen Alma not that wide unfortunately

Assassin Lavi welp

Queen Alma: We could try.

Assassin Lavi draws his dagger Assassin Lavi prob gonna have to fight our way out

Queen Alma turns and takes a step before shrieking and dropping the torch oops

Assassin Lavi !!!!!!!!

??? here i am ??? hi

Assassin Deak looks at lavi before drawing his dagger as well

??? tried to get by ??? now you cant see me ??? but i can see you

Assassin Lavi .....

Assassin Deak remember training. Assassin Deak it's fine.

Assassin Lavi we fight in the dark all the time Assassin Lavi part of our profession : >

??? you know what my profession is?

Assassin Lavi killing?

??? close, but not really

Assassin Lavi aw and here I had a comeback for if u said yes

??? see, it's what i use to kill that defines me ??? where are we right now

Assassin Lavi a tomb?

Assassin Deak u uSE DEAD PEOPLE?!!?!

Assassin Lavi o

??? what do you assume you landed in

Assassin Deak b loo d

Assassin Lavi ...blood? Assassin Lavi its not blood, is it

??? no ??? try again

Assassin Lavi oil?

??? is oil or blood squishy ??? think this through

Assassin Lavi guts? Assassin Lavi are we inside a huge gut Assassin Lavi is this Naruto

??? what the fuck ??? no ??? when did that happen in Naruto ??? oh with the snake right

Assassin Lavi Jiraiya's toad stomach jutsu--

??? oh ??? wrong thing

Assassin Lavi anyway I give up Assassin Lavi this is a weird standoff guessing game

??? lame ???: aCTUALLY ] ???: i have no idea what im going for w/ this ]

Assassin Lavi: LMFAO }

Assassin Deak: ;; o mg

???: i was waiting 2 see if something cool was suggested ] ???: i ToLD You GuyS ] ???: i dK WHAT IM DOiNG ]

Assassin Lavi: I mean I figured like } Assassin Lavi: either oil like something combustable or like } Assassin Lavi: weird mucus or something }

???: i just wanted to adventure in catacombs tbh ] ???: i like the history thing ]

Assassin Lavi: lmao {

???: but then we had 2 bring in some monster so i just threw something up ] ???: : ( ]

Assassin Lavi: RIP }

???: its like ]

Assassin Lavi: I mean I'm cool w/ Catacomb Adventures but I'm also 300% down for Lavi to be ripped limb by limb LMFAO }

???: "no its actually just cake and this was all an elaborate prank for messing up the masquerade party!!" ]

Assassin Deak: ;; thinks back to worm 1 Assassin Deak: ;; ahaha,,, Assassin Deak: ;; h a , , ,

[justal0wk3yg4mer]

Things I’ve Said: Dishonored (Some Spoilers)

My words                                                                                                                  *Player/My actions*                                                                                                   Character dialogue

I’m beginning to think that Unreal has a kink for darkness, steampunk, and protagonists that work in the shadows.

‘Rat Plague’? Do you mean the ‘Black Plague’? 

A water elevator?! That’s pretty cool.

You know, I think I’m gonna recant my earlier statement. Everything is hella bright, and this dude is apparently a Lord.

Aw, that’s adorable. A tutorial in the form of hide and seek.

Oh I like her. A monarchy that actually gives a shit about ALL her people. Also, the title Empress? That’s more badass than Queen.

WTF! That was the quickest game progression I’ve ever been through, those fuckers are defiantly the villians. Who happens upon a murder, sees a man who is obviously upset about the death of his Empress, which I’m beginning to wonder if she was something more to him than just his Empress, and think ‘Oh yeah. He killed her.’ 

Guard: This meal comes from a friend.                                                        Oh does it now? The poisoning kind or the file in the food kind.                  *A few seconds later.*                                                                                    The kind that know how to hook a brother up! 

Are the rats following me? Do I have some kind of connection with them like they help me or something?   :D                                                              *Proceeds to watch as a group of rats attack and eat two grown men.*      Nope, hungry. They are hungry.   :(

What kind of black magic BS.

Thanks for the burn mark asshole, also all this power but at what cost. If this stuff is gonna make me go mental, I don’t want it.

Watching me with great interest? Okay, you do you boo.

Granny Rags, you are a delight. I hope I see more of you.

I’m sorry, you can’t be a doctor and have infected rats running around your home. That makes no sense.

Aw thank you Granny Rags, you’re such an angel! Even though you just had me poison most of the gang population.

*Reads graffiti*                                                                                              Not gonna lie, I thought that said send nudes.

Samuels, I feel like you’re the real OG.

Wait, I was just fucking with the mask’s optics just a minute ago. Now you’re physically putting the mask on which would mean I wasn’t wearing it when I was messing with the optics? That’s so weird GamingSins would sin that.

Slackjaw: Somebody put plague in the brew.                                                Wow that’s terrible, I wonder who would do something like that. Now are you gonna help me or what?

First of all, you still don’t know who has it out for you and if you think it’s Granny Rags then I can’t help you there. Second, you said that you would get me into the Golden Cat. You gave me a key to the building beside the Golden Cat. Now I have to go to the roof of said building, get onto the Golden Cat’s roof and then I still have to find a way into the Golden Cat. You are useless to me.

*Looks all over the Golden Cat first before doing the mission.*                    Upstairs? I was just upstairs and I didn’t..............*thinks about it for a minute and realizes that I didn’t check a room because I thought a prostitute was in there and I didn’t want to waste a sleeping dart.*........ I am such a dumbass.

Excuse me? I just saved you, no way am I going to let you wonder off--      *Emily disappears*                                                                                        Disrespectful little shit.

I am an independent highly chaotic man who don’t need no Lord Regent.

*Kidnaps the physician and then ‘blinks’ my way down to Samuals*            Not gonna lie, I feel like I just cheated the game.

Physician: My will is strong.                                                                          Bitch, I got rats.

Tallboys? That’s too easy.                                                                              *A few deaths later*                                                                                      Fuck tallboys, fuck ‘em.

I really don’t want to kill this chick, where is the nonlethal mission at?          *Does the nonlethal mission and puts Waverly in a boat with a clearly obsessed man.*                                                                                            Maybe this was this a bad idea............... oh well not my problem now. 

Emily, honey, I would die for you.

*I was on my 15th time trying to get into the Lord Regents building with NO health potions and trying my damn hardest to be sneaky*                      Fuck me. I CAN’T. No nonlethal alternative for you bitch.

If the Lord Regent really doesn’t know who I’m at this point, I’m gonna laugh.

I am definitely earning this high chaos rating.

I know I said no nonlethal for the Regents earlier but I’ve got this bitch’s confession tape and now I really want to put this on full blast and listen to his dumbass explanation. So it’s off to the broadcasting station!

*Walks around the party, talks to people and notices Corvo’s vision fading in and out*                                                                                                      Corvo, I am so much younger than you and it takes me several drinks before I begin to get even slightly tipsy. What the fu-.........poison. They poisoned you didn’t they?                                                                  *Scene cuts to the guys confessing that they poisoned Corvo.*                    You idiots.

Samuals you really are the real OG.

Corvo, Emily better be your fucking kid. Even if she isn’t, claim her as a dependent then get the fuck outta dodge.

I’ve only seen you fuckers (assassins) once when you attacked me out of the blue. Why are you a problem now?

Assassin: We have to watch out. This ones clever.                                      *Me who is done with everyone’s bullsh*t and holding a full whale tank from a high vantage point.*                                                                            You forgot vindictive.

*Woman tells me about the plague wagon.*                                                  Ha! Bring out ya dead! (Monty Python anyone?)

Granny, honey? What the fuck are you doing?

Can I please be done? Like seriously, most of this is not necessary. 

*Enters the lighthouse*                                                                                  You know, for once, I would like to enter a place and not be assaulted by an orchestra. Also love the marbling.

Havelock’s diary! What juicy rumors will we read about today? *Reads for a few minutes.* And surprise, surprise. Corvo, you are the father.

*Saves Emily*                                                                                                Emily honey I’m so glad you’re okay! Don’t know how your doing mentally, but physically you look okay!                                                                        Emily: I’m going to be Empress now.                                                            ................That tone you’re using concerns me.

All and all it wasn’t too bad of a game, it just got a little tedious for me towards the end. I did get a kick out of the fact that I was playing a game that had a virus that was very similar that what we have now (not exactly funny but more of an odd coincidence). Anyway, the tally for this game was kinda stupid. I didn’t exactly say this lot but I was stupid enough to say it, so I figured everyone would get a kick out of it. For those that are not familiar with the game, Corvo get superpowers (cult powers? IDK). Whenever you use them, there is a voice that says something (I have a ps4 so the voice came through the controller). That voice scared me.............many times (I really am stupid sometimes). So ladies and gents here is your tally for dishonored:

What did my controller just say? : 25