#she's like a decade older than me and she's a dancer so she has a fat ass so i was sitting there like UH. HAHHA. HA.

[early-sxnsets]

what's a NYE party without a scientologist telling you drunkly about traditional womanhood and how women aren't really "lesbians or dykes" before she sits on your lap twice and your get so horny your brain whites out

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Josephine Baker (The Siren of the Tropics, ZouZou)— Josephine Baker was an American born actress, singer, and utter icon of the period, creating the 1920s banana skirt look. She was the first black woman to star in a major motion film. She fought in the French resistance in WWII, given a Legion of Honour, as well as refusing to perform in segregated theatres in the US. She was bisexual, a fighter, and overall an absolutely incredible woman as well as being extremely attractive.

Joan Crawford (Dancing Lady, Mildred Pierce, The Women)— God, where do I start!!! Her face is so UNIQUE and compelling and stands out so much. I love her thick brows and high cheekbones. She has a school-marmy hardness too her that makes her a little scary and therefore sexy. Her low thick voice also does it for me. Despite being an unusual looking woman with an unusual face, she never loses her glamour. Just a gorgeous talented actress, AND she was some sort of gay!!!

This is round 5 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut. the famous banana skirt is mildly NSFW.]

Josephine Baker:

Black, American-born, French dancer and singer. Phenomenal sensation, took music-halls by storm. Famous in the silent film era.

Let's talk La Revue Negre, Shuffle Along. The iconique banana outfit? But also getting a Croix de Guerre and full military honors at burial in Paris due to working with the Resistance.

She exuded sex, was a beautiful dancer, vivacious, and her silliness and humor added to her attractiveness. She looked just as good in drag too.

So I know she was more famous for other stuff than movies and her movies weren’t Hollywood but my first exposure to her was in her films so I’ve always thought of her as a film actress first and foremost. Also she was the first black woman to star in a major motion picture so I think that warrants an entry

Iconic! Just look up anything about her life. She was a fascinating woman.

Joan Crawford:

I just love women that are very mean.

she was a smoke show in every decade, from the 20s to the 60s.

The classic matronly beauty with amazing eyebrows

of course there's a space for MILF joan but i want to just take a second and say she was so cute in her early movies (like grand hotel and the women)! those parts often get forgotten but her stardom shines in them just as much as in her older #queen #icon roles

Misremembered for wire hanger hatred, this original screen queen mastered the art of the comeback and refused to let Hollywood toss her aside as she aged. The term “auteur” is usually revered for directors or writer-directors, but most critics have one actor they’ll give that title to as well: Crawford—anyone who knows classic movies already has a “Crawford picture” in their head. She knew how to style herself and promote herself. She made herself a star and kept herself fixated in the Hollywood firmament. What’s hotter than knowing just how hot you are?

(don’t think about Mommie Dearest right now) Joan was known for being super nice to all the like crew of the movies she worked on and she’d get everyone gifts. Joan would hold movie nights at her house and knit at the back of her home theater. Joan was sooo obsessed with other women including Greta Garbo, whos dressing room she would obsessively and purposefully walk by. She said that while working on Grand Hotel, Garbo grabbed her face and “if there ever was a time in my life where I would’ve been a lesbian, that was it.” But like Joan also probably did sleep with women including Barbara Stanwyck. Joan was so obsessed with Bette Davis, screening multiple movies of hers in a day at her watch party, constantly trying to spend time with her or do a movie together, insisting on the dressing room next to hers at Warners and sending her daily gifts… etc. Once Bette said that sex was gods joke to humanity and Joan said “I think the joke is on her.” Joan fucked a lot. Joan got caught publicly fucking a man and sent a letter to the woman who saw them basically saying “I bet it excited you” and the woman was like you know what. It did. Joan was best friends with a gay man. Joan was an actually genuinely good actress even though people mocked her a lot for being like cheap and stupid (partially because she never finished school because her family was broke). Joan was so insane and so cool that’s all.

[marsplastic13]

Knock Knock - Part 2

Part 1

"You have to tell me how all of this thing between you and Kaz started" Jesper and Vik were sharing a cigarette on the roof of the Crow Club while the others were downstairs partying. Vik blow out the smoke "You know Kaz would be really disappointed if I share any of this" "Oh come on, I'm dying here all alone without anyone to talk about the biggest scandal of the Barrel" the girl reaised her eyebrows. "Please" said him in a really high pitched voice. "Fine" the girl sighed "I'll tell you how we met, but it's very less exiting than you expect" she turned to Jesper with a grin "The story of how we started dating is way better" "Oh I knew you had good gossip, I'm all ears". So Vik started talking.

Before she started working with the Dregs, she found a job as a dancer in a club. She would just dance on a little stage, sometimes she would be a server for the night and other times men could pay to make her sit on their laps while playing cards or doing business. Trying to have any kind of inappropriate contact with the girls was forbidden by the club's rules, the owners were very proud of not being a brothel. Vik managed to keep the job while going to University, the pay was good and making money from rich pathetic men made her feel a bit powerful. And that's were she met Kaz Brekker.

One night she was requested by one of her usuals to stay at his table while he talked business with other people. Nothing out of the ordinary, except for a really young boy sitting across from her. Usually that place was for older men, but as she discovered some time later, Kaz was trying to enter a few legit businesses, now the he was officially the leader of the Dregs. For hours she looked at him, while batting her eyes and complimenting her clients. He must have been around her age, really charming, knew exactly what he was doing, even if he was decades younger than the other men at the table, and, most important thing, he was doing everything in his power to not look at her.

Vik could also sense some kind of pain radiating from him, it was diffused in multiple regions of his body and she had a confermation when she noticed his cane. His leg was hurting like probably all of his side and the arm he used for the cane. A few drinks made her brave, she got up excusing herself and while passing Kaz she faked a little fall, using his shoulder to steady herself. "I'm so sorry, I should quit drinking for tonight" she said with a little giggle. He flinched at her touch, but before the usual sense of nausea that human contact gave him, he felt a wave of relief, all of his pain just vanished until she removed her hand. Kaz's head turned up from the table, locking eyes with the girl that smiled a bit. "Such a clumsy girl that you are, let's get you free for tonight" her client got up to accompany her back to the bar, but he was so starteled that his gaze kept following them until the others started to joke about the fact that he was cosumming her with his eyes.

He came back with the other businessmen a few other times to close various deals, and he showed more interest in the girl, leaving her tips, buying her drinks, but she was always hired from this other man, so he couldn't have a moment alone with her. And then one night, he came alone.

The boy choose a booth in the most private corners of the club and started working on his papers. That night Vik had a shift has a server, but her boss told her that someone paid a lot of cash to have her at his table, so she changed into her dancer outfit, grabbed two drinks and head to the client. "You" Finally. she said almost excited "What are you doing here all alone?" Kaz lifted his head slowly, looking her up and down. "I came to talk to you" she faked a surprised face "And what do you want to talk about?" "Drop the act, I know who you are" "And who am I, Kaz Brekker?" Of course Vik acquired as much information as possible as soon as a young, rich business man set foot in her Club. Bonus point that he was even hot and kind of mysterious.

She moved closer to him, almost whispering in his ear, letting him take in her vanilla scented bodywash. The sudden proximity and the fact that she revealed that she knew who he was made Kaz lost his focus for a moment and the papers that he was fiddling with scratched his finger. Previously he had to remove his gloves because that place was insanely hot, and know he was looking at a single drop of blood coming put of his finger. "I'll take care of that" "Don't-" in one swift movement she took his hand and licked his finger, the scratch was gone.

"A Healer, you're a Healer" he said snatching his hand from hers and putting back his gloves. "I know that you're studying to become a medik, the youngest one in Ketterdam if you keep those grades" "You checked my grades?" She said laying back on the chair, raising her eyebrows. "I read your essays" Kaz turned to look at her smirking. "I'm here to offer you a job-" "Oh I'm not a whore" Kaz had just started to feel better after her unexpected touch and now he was almost choking on his drink "WHAT?" She did everything in her power to keep a serious face "I said I don't have sex for money" the boy was completely red and Vik couldn't hold her laugh anymore "As a healer, a job as a healer, and medik for the Dregs" Kaz sounded rather annoyed, she took a sip of her drink, that offer was completely unexpected. "Does it pay as good as this?" "We can make a few arrengements" "Well I have to think about it" she shrugged "What do you want to do now, I'm yours for another hour" before he could think of an answer she was on her feet.

"I can dance for you" "Please don't start dancing" Kaz was trying to look everywhere except in her direction "My boss is going to think it's very weird if you just came here to talk to me. Come on you can look, if you don't I'll be forced to get another client" Vik started to move along with the music, just for the sake of making the famous Dirtyhands uncomfortable, in fact, no one would make her change clients, Kaz had already paid for her and he could do whatever he wanted in that time.

But her little plan worked and he reclutantly laid back in his chair and started to look at her, her exposed body, inhaling the sweet scent that filled his nostrils whenever she moved.

For someone who despised skin to skin contact as he did, this girl was really starting to test his boundaries, and his nerves. The fact that she was totally unbothered by who he was was weird for him, no one dared to play with him like she was. Kaz had to admit that the girl had something interesting, she made him curious. Why aren't you scared? 

After a while, he found himself thinking about the fact that he would have gladly gave away the rubys he had as shirt cufflinks to put his hands on her, to trace the lines of her tattoos with his fingers. Saints, these drinks are strong. Dirtyhands wanted to ask her if she had any idea of how dangerous he was. Another part of him that rarely came out was thriving for how careless Vik was. Careless gets you killed in the Barrel.

"Now you're looking at me like you want to eat me" before he could connect his brain, his mouth responded "Maybe I do" Vik was so surprised that she stopped her private show to look at him with her eyebrows so raised that he thought that must've hurt. He cleared his voice trying to regain his composure, cursing himself to have let that really weird thing slip out of his mouth. He got on his feet and moved away from her in a hurry while she called his name. "I'll pay for the rest of your shift, so go home and think of my proposal, if you say yes come tomorrow at eight bells at the Crow Club" he didn't even turned to look at her. Vik saw him talking to her boss, than he left some money on the counter and left the club without sparing her another glance.

"Saints he was that into you from the start" Jesper said when she finished her story. "I can be a very charming person when I want" she winked. He let out a laugh "Oh I have no doubt on that, if you charmed the bastard of the Barrel himself I can only imagine your effect on a common person". They kept smocking in silence for a while. "And so you went to the club and he hired you?" "Yes it basically went like that, I started to work that night. I believe you were my very first patient at the Slat" "That's such a sweet thing, and now I'm the first to know all your dirty secrets" "I guess you are". Jesper throw his arm around her shoulder, leaving a little kiss on her hair. "And then what happened between you two?" she chuckled "Well he tried to stay away from me as much as he could, even if I was healing him he just wouldn't talk, but one night I totally saved his life" "What?!" Vik took another cigarette a started another story.

Part 3

[mithliya]

I have a question about music! I want to get more into Arabic music (women specifically) but the only Arabic musician I know of right now is Faouzia, who is AMAZING, however she doesn’t have a lot of music in Arabic. She uses cultural inspiration in her music (she’s Moroccan), but only has a couple songs with one Arabic word in it (Habibi & Puppet). I like listening to music in other languages and was hoping maybe you had recommendations for Arabic female musicians

never heard of faouzia! thanks for informing me of her. and yes im gonna first name some famous arabic pop singers and then ill move onto some that i also like:

nancy ajram

this woman is probably one of the biggest popstars in the arab world and has been for decades. she has a lot of great hits and id honestly just recommend going thru her music esp her older stuff bc you might like something in there. shes a lebanese christian

2. haifa wehbe

not a fan of hers but she has some hits and shes also one of the most renowned popstars.

3. myriam fares

also one of the bigger popstars, she also tends to play with a lot of arabic genres. shes mostly known for her dancing i think, shes quite talented but im not big on her music (im just sharing my faves btw so this is one of my faves and its clearly awful quality)

4. ruby

i looooooove ruby she was basically the only dark-skinned woman i saw in mainstream arab media and shes an awful dancer but makes amazing music and is also an actress (and ive heard shes quite good at that too) and is a good singer. also afaik shes one of the few female artists that didnt get plastic surgeries (if she did its so mild that its not noticeable). shes egyptian (previous singers i shared are all lebanese)

5. shadia mansour

one of the only female rappers i know of, i dont know much of her music but this song is really good and the lyrics are amazing. shes palestinian & british and this song is about palestinian resistance basically

6. elyanna

this one is more modern than my other recommendations fhsdfhds but shes quite good, iirc shes half palestinian half..chilean? i think?

7. samira said

shes north african, i Think tunisian, and one of the bigger popstars from the 2000s. i dont really listen to most of her music but this one's a classic:

8. fairuz

this one's quite old-fashioned but definitely a classic and her music continues to be played a lot today... especially by lebanese people. shes a lebanese singer who i think was really prominent for decades starting from the 50s. not sure how her music will be perceived by someone who didn't grow up hearing it tho. shes also lebanese christian

9. luka salam

only know one song of hers but its a nice one, the lyrics are great and i was obsessed with it at one point. i know shes got others. idk where shes from tbh

10. maryam saleh

i only know one song of hers too but its also a nice one. shes egyptian

adding more in reblogs bc i ran out of links to add lol

[effei-s]

[tserriednich & neon; foils]

"papa once said that the one who knows the future owns the world. let's put his theory to the test." 

"you want the eyes? i'll gift them all to you. after the voyage is over." just like papa, tserr wants not only a monopoly on her gift but a whole world, to squeeze it in the palm of his hand and crush it like an overripe fruit, make it bleed. 

"and the head? without it, my collection won't be complete." the things you do for the people you love. 

"if you dance." tserr nudges her. neon's entire life is one endless list of rental contracts; unique gift, a true blessing, priceless on paper, a long-fixed price-tag in reality. miracle for sale. 

"so that later you could justify a politically motivated murder with my name?" any long-term relationship, friendship especially, with someone like him is impossible without knowledge in art. it's nothing but a lucky coincidence for them both to be interested in a very niche type; private collections formed around humanity's cruel nature, devoted to the darkest corners of the human soul; events, large-scale or not, full of relics ready to be picked up; cold-blooded murders and hunger riots, revolutions and hundred-years-long wars, reformations and plagues, corpses embalmed so skillfully that they seemed alive, fragments of skeletons yellowed by time, all equally valuable, left for them to find and collect, to give the dead a second life.  

"i don't need justifications for murder." tserr is a fair decade older than her, has enough eloquence to convince even his own brother that his love for art is a reflection of his philanthropist nature, his humanity. the only worthy member of the royal family. a gabon viper hiding among the foliage. "still, just imagine your portrait by the caravaggios of our time." 

"i prefer the way dolci* saw her." neon has been playing poker since she was eleven; she's perfectly able to keep a neutral expression on her face, especially when she's face to face with someone capable of absolutely heinous doings, especially when she tells him no. 

"dolci it is then. i'll find you one. there's a reason why kakin is primarily known for advanced technologies and artists." intellectual revolution meets high renaissance, sprinkled with religious persecutions and organized crime. what a country. 

"i have a better offer: a head for a saved life. trust me, i'm a far better poet than a dancer." 

*Salome with the Head of St John the Baptist by Carlo Dolci 

[motownfiction]

say what you mean

Steph meets a woman at the DIA about a month after Sam’s funeral. They meet at the Edgar Degas exhibit, which Steph becomes obsessed with the first time she walks through it. Something about the ballet dancers makes her feel beautiful. Something about the woman who always seems to be here at the same time makes her feel beautiful, too.

Turns out she works at the DIA, and she helped put the exhibit together. Her name is Jane, and she has a master’s degree in Art History from State. Steph wonders how they could have possibly missed each other on campus until she realizes Jane is nine years younger than she is. She’s not sure if Jane seems older, or if she hasn’t grown up herself. At any rate, Steph doesn’t hesitate before asking if she can take her to TJ’s for lunch. She doesn’t hesitate before recommending the Carlotta Chocolatta Ice Cream Cheesecake, and she doesn’t hesitate before paying the entire bill. She doesn’t cringe when Jane sings “Lady Marmalade,” and she doesn’t cringe when Jane asks if she can kiss her in the car.

It’s been three months since that day. Steph and Jane wouldn’t exactly call themselves girlfriends, as Steph is a little worried about dating someone almost a full decade younger. Jane assures her it’s nothing. She’s twenty-six, holds a master’s degree, and has lived on her own since she was eighteen.

Depending on your definition of alone, she usually says, and Steph knows what she means.

Doesn’t stop them from spending as much time together as they can. Steph has never known another bisexual woman before. Lesbians, sure. Jill, Katie, probably more whose names she can’t rattle off so easily. But Jane is so easy to talk to. Steph never feels guilty when she has to talk about Sam, and she’s never put off when Jane mentions an ex-boyfriend. There’s something there – something Steph doesn’t think she’s ever felt with anyone else. It might not be that kind of passionate romantic love, but whatever it is, she enjoys it.

Jane, on the other hand, seems like she’s growing cold.

They lie in bed together on a Friday night, and Jane asks the dreaded question.

Where is this going?

Steph exhales, wishing she could sink into the pillows beneath her head and disappear.

“Jane,” she says slowly, sounding too much like the kind of person she hates, especially in bed, “we’ve talked about this. My ex died four months ago. It’s weird for me to think about dating someone else full time.”

“But we see each other almost everyday,” Jane says. “And you know the age difference doesn’t matter. I’m not a kid.”

“I know you’re not a kid. I’m not a kid, either. It’s just … with Sam …”

“Who dumped you in 1985.”

Steph’s heart stops. She pulls the comforter closer to her chin. Sometimes, she forgets how long ago 1985 actually was. She had just turned eighteen then. She’ll be thirty-six in the summer. How has she changed? How is she any different? She is still a pitiful little girl, waiting by the phone for Sam to ring, and he’s dead.

Jane does not deserve this. She’s a woman, and she deserves better. So, Steph tells her that. Jane just snorts.

“Say what you mean,” Jane says. “Say you don’t want to be with me.”

“Jane.”

“That’s not what I asked for.”

Steph wants to tell her so many things. About how she wants to be with her, about how she thinks she could love her, about how she’s the only thing that makes her laugh in this world where laughing feels unfair. Steph wants to tell Jane to stay.

But she doesn’t.

And when she wakes up and goes, she won’t come back.

She shouldn’t.

(part of @nosebleedclub january challenge -- day 11!)

[oldjane]

So the lovely Lina @laviejaguardia tagged me to post the first line of my WIPs.

Girl.

I counted them. I opened up the folder named WIPs, sorted out the TOG ones, and started counting.

Well.

Let’s just say I have a Problem.

How about I limit myself to, say, ten?

1. ARRANGED DIVORCE AU

“What do you mean, I have to divorce Nicolò?”

Joe is staring at his mother as if she just sprouted a second head – which, frankly, would be less shocking than the words he just heard her utter.

“It’s not like the two of you have a particularly passionate marriage,” the Queen says delicately. “Listen, Yusuf, I know this comes as a surprise, but with your brother renouncing on the throne, you will become King someday.”

“And I can’t be married to Nicolò for that?” Yusuf interjects, and his mother sighs deeply.

“It’s not precisely, ah, impossible,” she says carefully, as if the word leaves a bad taste in her mouth, “but your prospects have suddenly become a lot better.”

2. BALLET AU

It’s been one of those days.

It would be easier if it hadn’t been one of those days for the last ten years, but alas. Being brown and Muslim is still enough to be singled out in the extremely closed ballet community, even though Joe’s been part of it for 25 years now. It doesn’t help either that every bloody dancer, choreographer, director, seamstress, donor and critic feels the need to throw in a quip about Yusuf’s start through a charity summer camp for inner city kids in Rotterdam.

3. CAMBOY AU

Joe doesn’t have the money to sign in to another session with ItalianStallion, he doesn’t. Being an artist is his dream and his joy, but it doesn’t leave much disposable income in the budget for online porn.

But ItalianStallion is worth eating ramen for the next week.

The thumbnail for tonight shows him on all fours, and much as Joe loves it when he is on his back, his legs hooked over some bars out of the camera frame, showing his impressive cock as he jerks himself off or fucks himself with his large fingers, he loves the man’s ass even more. God, the idea of sinking his cock into that tight hole alone is enough to get him hard.

So he gets out his long-suffering credit card and logs on.

4. CHANGELING AU

“Think carefully,” the fae hisses, baring long, sharp, bloody fangs. “One of these cribs holds your precious, innocent baby. The other… does not.”

It laughs, ugly and cruelly. It sounds like nails being dragged over smooth stone, and it feels like a thousand sharp knives are dancing over Susanna’s spine. There’s a bright, unnatural light coming from the lantern, but even in this light she cannot see any difference between the cribs, between the babies reaching out a stubby hand towards her, gurgling softly. Even the blanket the child was wrapped in, the one her grandmother embroidered with her rheumatic fingers, has been magicked to look exactly the same, blue violets around the yellowing edges.

5. WIBBIT AU

Nicky has known since he was a toddler that his prospects in life were not great. His father and mother loved each other very much, and as such Nicolò was blessed with eleven older siblings.

His mother taught him, as soon as he would understand, that Bartolomeo, as the oldest, would inherit the family fortune, Giuseppe would be sent to university, and there was money set aside for Fabrizio to start on his way to knighthood as a squire. Flavio and Angelo might be able to be provided with the tools to start an apprenticeship with a tradesman, and Matteo would have to be satisfied with the cheapest option possible: a sword and a career in the military. Whatever was left, would of course need to go to the girls, as a dowry.

6. SOULMATE TOWER AU

Joe doesn’t really know how long he has been in here. It has been years, decades maybe – but why would he keep track of the time?

Every day is the same, and though he has a few small windows, bolted shut, showing him the passing of the seasons, it means little to nothing to him.

He will likely not ever leave these rooms. He has everything – a bedroom, a kitchen, a bathroom with a huge tub, a desk, a studio, even a gym with a small pool. When he needed something – clothes, food, art supplies, a new computer – severely doctored to avoid contact with the outside world – it is brought to him within hours.  

7. KING+KNIGHT AU PT II

The oak doors close behind them.

On any other night, Yusuf would listen to the creak of them falling shut with a heavy heart, knowing Nicolò was on the other side of them – so close, and yet it might as well be the whole ocean between them, so vast the distance seemed.

But tonight, he is holding Nicolò’s hand in his, and Nicolò’s taste still lingers on his lips.

8. TAILOR AU

In the three years since Joe’s opened Cuppa, he never once stepped into the store next door.

It’s not that he has anything against it, really. It’s more that he doesn’t have much place in his life for a tailored three-piece suit. He likes to think he rocks his faded jeans and backwards cap just as well as any suit, and it’s more practical behind the counter of a coffee shop to boot. To be completely honest, Joe might be of the opinion nobody needs to drop hundreds of pounds on an outdated, boring fashion trend – but he wisely keeps it to himself as he steps through the tastefully decorated glass door.

A bell chimes delicately above his head, but nothing else happens. Joe stands around a bit awkwardly, looking at the racks of dull black jackets and trousers in front of him. He scoffs slightly. See, just wearisome, tedious, uninspiring clothes. No room for any personality or experimenting.

But he’s forced to reconsider when he ventures a bit further down.

9. EXES TO LOVERS AU

Joe’s only ever been dumped once.

He was nineteen, then, and his boyfriend was only sixteen, so it might have been for the best, but still, it still stings. He’d really imagined the two of them making it, ending up together, falling for each other over and over again. Nicolò had often called him an incurable romantic, back then, with his soft accent rounding the vowels. It was usually followed by a kiss, though, so Joe hadn’t minded too much. It wasn’t like it was untrue, anyway.

But Nicolò might not say it anymore, if he saw Joe now. Dating casually, never too long. No promises, no expectations. Always the one leaving, before things could get serious.

10. GAY AWAKENING FUCKBUDDIES AU

Joe barely makes it to the couch before collapsing. He doesn’t even kick off his shoes, shed his jacket – he is completely drained after his afternoon shift at the call center.

Nicky, his roommate, best friend, and Joe’s personal hero, is there instantly, steaming glass of mint tea with enough sugar to make the spoon stand up straight in his hand.

“That bad,” Nicky says, putting the tea on the coffee table and lifting Joe’s legs to sit down.

“Worse,” Joe groans, as Nicky takes of Joe’s shoes before he put his stockinged feet in his lap. “You are an angel.”

“I know,” Nicky says mildly. “You’re gonna have to sit up to drink your tea, though.”

Another dramatic groan.

“I’m not sure tea will help today.”

I should probably finish any of these (or the other 40+ in the folder) instead of this new series I’ve got in my head... Any preferences?

[hhbridgertonau]

1 - An Unexpected Diamond

Not the chapter you're looking for? Check the Masterlist!

It is with great pleasure to announce that the ton once again returns to the most highly anticipated gathering of the year: the social season; the time to place wagers on which eligible bachelor and bachelorette shall become the match of the century. As this year’s matches set aflame, this author intends to reveal the tantalizing secrets behind the illustrious burning wicks.

Allow me to begin by bringing to attention the sparse crop that has graced the king’s court this morning. This author finds this a most peculiar development, as never in the history of the ton has a Season gone diamond-less. Perhaps if I were in the king’s position, it would be a most difficult task to find a lady of ideal beauty and virtue to earn the title of most coveted bachelorette.

This author must turn your attention instead to the ton’s most eligible bachelor, who for nearly a decade still has not found a match.

That bachelor is, of course, the Duke of Fernshire: Sir Dancel Morningstar.

Decked in fine silks of pristine cream and long satin gloves, Daleon walked into a bustling hive of lavishly dressed ladies and gentlemen. She swallowed against the thin chain of silver and diamonds on her neck, her eyes glued to the splaying splendor before them. Candlelight pierced through the prisms in the chandeliers. Its fractured rays doused the ballroom in faux starlight. There was the quartet in the far end of the room, with an operetta singing of love on the air. The smell of burgundy, wine, and floral perfume washed over her. The dancers were synchronized and rehearsed like clockwork, and glued to the sides were clusters of nobles in discussion and exchanging pleasantries.

Nothing could contain the jitters and butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach. For years, she had dreamt of entering a party with the glamor and the merrymaking she had only heard from stories of servants. It was a little later than Daleon would have hoped to attend her first ever ball. But she understood that in her brother and father’s eyes, she was not to be subjected to the same expectations their society had for women. She was fortunate enough to be one of the few ladies of the ton to have the privilege of choosing not to be wed. However, she was also, for lack of a better term, a romantic who dreamt about fairy tales and princes too often.

“Do gatherings like this truly interest you? I would much prefer to spend time in the library. Reading…” Ergon took one of Daleon’s arms and hooked it in his. His eyes scanned the room like a hawk, tensing when it seemed someone was looking in their direction.

“It’s just for this one night, brother.” Daleon squeezed. “It’s not like Dancel presented me to the king to join this Season.”

“Consider this a learning experience,” said Dancel, eyeing the older twin. “A glimpse into the kind of lifestyle you will inevitably endure as a duke. You and Daleon are well of age, and perhaps, you might be interested in the prospect of love and marriage.”

There was a teasing glint in Dancel’s eye. Ergon scoffed at the idea. “Why would either of us need to marry? We have each other.”

“Indeed we do. But Dancel wouldn’t oppose if I happened to find my prince one day, now would he?”

“He’ll have to be a prince with princely attributes or else.”

“Brother!”

“I doubt you will find you’re so called prince tonight,” said Peggy, who trailed a little behind them. He hunched his shoulders over himself as people passed.

Dancel grabbed him with his other arm. “Peggy, do straighten yourself.”

“Fauta Driscol has a habit of inviting too many people,” he grumbled. “And people have nothing better to do at these parties than ta-talk. Or worse, i-if ambitious mothers approached us again with their daughters.” Peggy shivered. “I can’t stand women. They barely have anything interesting to say.”

“Daleon’s a woman.” Dancel teased.

“Sh-She’s obviously an exception.”

Creams, fluttering feathers, and sparkling gems whizzed and buzzed past an excited Daleon. Her feet itched, and her eyes became especially glued to the couples dancing on the floor. She wondered if anyone would ask her to dance.

“May I be allowed to dance tonight, Dancel?”

Dancel’s eyes narrowed. “As much as possible, we should avoid attracting any attention to ourselves. Remember, you are not here to find a match,” he gave her a knowing look. “Yet. But if you wish to, I shall allow one.”

It did not take long for the entire room to erupt in whispers. Heads turned in their direction, their gazes straight and piercing like arrows. Ergon’s grip tightened.

Most of their eyes fell on Peggy and Dancel. “The Viscount Gilbert and the Duke of Fernshire?”

Feathery fans began to flutter as the group delved deeper into the party to greet their host. Their eyes steeled on the path ahead.

“But who are those two with him?”

“I’ve never seen them before.”

They pressed on, further and further until they found who they were looking for. Or to be more precise, until he found them.

“I was beginning to wonder why everyone started fussing,” Viscount Fauta Driscol carried a glass of champagne in his hand, and the waist of a lady in the other. He bowed his head as he approached them.

“Your appearance tonight is a surprise, your grace,” he said. “I should thank you for making it memorable, and perhaps setting up the competition between me and a potential match.”

It wasn’t a secret that Dancel was perhaps the most coveted bachelor of the ton. There were many well and sensible families who desired his assets more than his company. Dancel saw through their pretenses and facades, which constituted one of the many reasons why he never married.

“Your worries are all for naught, Lord Driscol. May I present the Marquis Ergon and Miss Daleon Morningstar.”

“Marquis? Cousins of yours?”

Dancel hesitated to answer. “Yes, let us call them such, as I have no intention of settling,” he emphasized the ‘settling’. “They are to inherit the dukedom.”

Daleon felt their gazes shift to Ergon, then settled on her.

Fauta’s jaw dropped in surprise. “This is a most peculiar development, indeed. You’ve just about broken many young ladies’ hearts and aspirations,” his lips curled into a devilish smile. “More for me in that case. Hello Peggy.”

The young quivering viscount nodded, his lips pressed so tightly Daleon thought they would bruise.

“Baron Bastion,” Dancel greeted Roush, who stood behind Fauta. There was a sweet scent on the air as the two nodded in greeting, one of spices and oak.

“Your grace. I am pleased you have accepted my invitation.”

“Were it anyone else, I might have declined.”

Fauta’s brows rose in surprise. “I did not think you two knew each other.”

“We’re well acquainted.” said Roush.

A sudden fanfare of trumpets brought the entire room to its knees. A flurry of maids-in-waiting entered with dainty smiles and glittering fans. A few of them carried Maine coon cats in their arms, all preceding the man of the hour: King Sakainu Hijiri.

King Hijiri was a man with a renown for occasionally mingling with the higher echelons of society. In those instances, he could have been called a man of the peoples; but Dancel always called him a social animal; a man who had trouble discerning the line between patriarch and exaggerated socialite.

He greeted the party-goers with a smile and a flourish. But upon sight of Dancel and the small gathering of other well-renowned bachelors in the corner of the room, he strode happily towards them with the eyes of a hunter.

“Morningstar!” He clapped the duke harshly on his shoulder. “I had wagers you would return to the ton this Season.”

Dancel coughed from the force of his hand. “Merely at an invitation of an old friend, your majesty.”

Daleon could have been a little more excited, or perhaps anxious to be in such close proximity of the king. But the more she stared at his face and listened to the tone of his voice, she thought he was a little like Dancel, with a lonely kindness disguised beneath the air of authority.

She might have looked a little too intently, for the king turned his gaze. Daleon quickly curtsied. Her knees quivered.

“And might I have the pleasure of knowing this young lady?”

It was Fauta who stepped forward. “Your Majesty, these are Dancel’s wards.”

The king shared Fauta’s same surprised expression from earlier. He turned to Dancel with a look that screamed betrayal, shock, and awe. “I did not take you to be a well-keeper of secrets.”

“And they shall remain mine to keep, your Majesty.” There was a gleam in Dancel’s eyes - one of challenge and absolution. The king reflected it. He frowned with amusement, before turning to acknowledge them.

“A fine duke you shall make,” he patted Ergon’s shoulder.

Daleon could feel his stare burning through her. She peeked beneath her lashes and barely made the king stare - inspecting her. Her breathing shallowed from the nervousness, but a quick glance at Dancel gradually calmed her. Whatever the king made of her did not matter in the slightest. She could still find a suitor regardless of his favor. But Daleon secretly hoped that he would, at the very least, approve of her. Only one lady a year would receive such an honor, and it would mean that Dancel’s efforts to raise her and Ergon by himself were well worth it.

She felt a gloved hand beneath her chin, lifting her head.

He whistled. “Flawless, my darling.”

Hijiri leaned to press a kiss to the top of her head. Those who saw gasped ever so quietly. The room dissolved into a frenzy of hushed and excited whispers. Daleon’s blood thumbed wildly in her ears.

With a wave of Hijiri’s hand, the festivities resumed and the music crescendoed, signaling a long, lively evening now that the king was present. Fauta called for more champagne and dancing.

“Where are you from, Miss Morningstar?” asked the king.

She didn’t answer. She was still in shock, and trying to calm her nerves. She bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to keep her from grinning too wide.

“I have been trying to get the Duke to settle, and here I find my plans are off-thrown,” he chuckled. “I did not see you at the presentation.”

“I hope you will forgive us for our absence, Your Majesty.” Dancel nodded.

She could not contain herself, and laughed ever so slightly at the wave of emotions she felt at that moment.

“His grace only promised me to take me to my first ball when my brother became of age,” she quickly said, playing off her sudden outburst as one of recent nostalgia. “It is one of the setbacks, I suppose, to being a twin. Our parents were distant cousins of the late Duke Lucien.”

Just like they rehearsed.

“Our mother passed away when we were born, and our father fell to illness several years later. Duke Lucien had provided for us, but when he passed…”

Daleon didn’t know how to continue. She barely knew the late Duke, aside from the paintings within the estate, as well as the letters and occasional notes he had given their caretaker.

“You have my condolences,” said the king. “I know Dancel does not like to talk about his father, but I must say he has done well for a man who does not mingle with society. I am expecting great things from you this season,”

He nodded and left them to join Fauta for drinks.

Daleon let out a sigh of relief.

“I believe the king has taken a liking to you.”

She knew that whispering tone. Dancel was not pleased. All eyes were on her. Some glared daggers, and some had curious, inquisitive looks. She liked their gazes.

“Perhaps we should retire for the evening,” Ergon suggested. His tone raised concern.

“But I am not tired,” said Daleon. “And we’ve only just arrived—” She still wanted to dance. She couldn’t stop now, not when the king had clearly given her his favor.

“I believe it is best we retired early, Daleon.” Dancel said coldly. He turned his head and whispered his farewells to Roush. The baron smiled and nodded, wishing him and the twins a good night.

“You are getting too much attention,” Ergon explained. “People are becoming interested in you,”

“But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

Dancel smiled. “It is ideal for what you wish to achieve, but it is far too soon. It is best to leave them wanting more,”

She knew there was more to Dancel’s words, but even she had to realize that tonight was indeed a victorious one for her, albeit it might not have been the kind of victory her brother and guardian expected.

As they quickly fled the soiree, Daleon met the gazes of nearly everyone around her. The butterflies, which had dissipated minutes ago in the presence of familiar company, returned with the force of a broken dam. She hoped she enchanted them. But this time they were not nervous butterflies - they were creatures of excitement.

[yanderememes]

So I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole of watching Samba dancing and I got an au idea. So Giorno and darling were dance partners when he was Haruno. Then VA happened and he vanished off the face of the earth. Darling is really worried but he’s gone there’s no trace of him anywhere (1/?).

I'll leave this under the cut!

Darling keeps looking as she gets older and never forgets him. However, she does have a new dance partner and she and her partner even made the national championship. Aside from a missing childhood best friend her life is pretty much everything she wanted (2/?)

Darling begins to become paranoid, feeling that something is out to get anyone who she dances with. Once was a horrible fluke, twice can’t be anything other than some sort of malicious presence. She resolves herself to find whatever this thing that haunts her is— and to destroy it (4/?).

Now quite paranoid, Darling begins to delve deep into places she never dared look before. After several false starts she meets someone who offers to help her. She’s suspicious of the offer. This man, with his odd clothing and unnaturally golden hair, set off all of her alarms; yet… his eyes remind her so much of Haruno (5/?)

The man, who introduces himself as Giorno Giovanna, is the only person who has been willing to aid her, however much he sets her teeth on edge, is the only one willing to help Darling so she agrees. She’s not stupid though. If they’re meeting it’s in a public space with people around, and she’s come far enough, legality be damned, she’s carrying a taser (6/?).

With Giorno’s help, Darling begins to find leads. Someone was sloppy. She begins to warm up to him after a few months. He’s helpful, he can protect himself his knowledge of the underworld is useful, if disconcerting. Maybe with his help she really will break her curse (7/?).

Nothing lasts forever though. Darling thinks they’re finally about to catch the guy who did it. Little does she know that the true culprit has been by her side since the beginning. After a scuffle where she gets injured, Giorno brings her home. Finally this dance can end. (8/?).

When Darling comes too Giorno admits everything. She can’t leave him now, so there’s no point in hiding his status or the fact that he’s Haruno. The architect behind Darling’s partner getting injured. Her REAL partner. Darling obviously freaks out and is devastated by the betrayal and the fact that she fell for his conniving. He pulls her in for a dance. They’re together now, forever just like he had always dreamed And Giorno Giovanna always achieves his dreams(9/?).

Dancer Darling is super feisty. She’s going to spew vitriol at Giorno the entire time. There are a lot of escape attempts and more than a attacked guards. She can tell it cuts him deep. Darling is muddled though, by over a decade of emotional attachment to Giorno. She knows exactly how much she’s hurting him and she’s torn between twisting the knife or pulling him close and running her fingers through his hair until he stopes shaking, just like when they were kids (10/11).

Thank you for listening to my inane rambling. Sorry if this is way too long. It got much longer than I thought it would. I dunno, I guess I’m a sucker for childhood friend darlings, even if I have to make up ridiculous au’s for them (11/11).

***

Thanks for sharing this, anon! I love all yan!Giorno content and it's so hard to come by so I appreciate any writings for him lol

I like the idea of darling knowing Haruno before Giorno! It does give the story more of the 'red string of fate' vibes to it~ destined to be together after knowing each other for so long

Apart of me feels like Giorno rejects Haruno. To him, Haruno Shiobana is dead and what's left is only Giorno Giovanna. I think he rejects his old self because he sees Haruno as weak and holds a childhood past he wants to forget. The only good thing that came out from Haruno was being able to meet darling who accepted and loved him when his own parents wouldn't.

Darling opened the gates for him to become a better person, who is now Giorno Giovanna. Which is why they hold so much significance for him. He captures darling because he wants them to see the new and improved him. Not the weak and pathetic Haruno who was abused daily. But of course, darling will always prefer Haruno > Giorno, the sweet and innocent boy before the mafia tainted him.

No, Giorno is much better for darling. He's the strongest, is rich, has all the power in the world, and most importantly, can protect his darling.

[sweetsmellosuccess]

TIFF 2022: Day 6

Films: 3.5 Best Film Of The Day: Holy Spider

Joyland: A Pakistani film from Saim Sadiq that suggests the path to self-knowledge and acceptance can be paved with chunks of broken glass and razor wire. Hader (Ali Junejo) is an unassuming man, living at home with his wife, Mumtaz (Rasti Farooq) who works at a makeup salon, and the rest of his extended family, including his overbearing father, and domineering older brother, his wife, and their many children. Given an opportunity for a job working as a back-up dancer for the Trans performer Biba (Alina Khan), who performs routinely at a nearby nightclub, Hader jumps at the chance before he quite knows what he’s doing (or can even dance, particularly). To his astonishment, however, he finds not only that he enjoys performing, he also falls pretty hard for Biba, of whom he feels far more passion than for his wife of nearly a decade. When Mumtaz unexpectedly gets pregnant, it throws Hader’s new lifeplan into a Cuisinart, as well as making the already criminally unfulfilled Mumtaz feel even more trapped in a world she wants no part of. As Biba and Hader’s relationship grows into something more dangerous, the entire family is forced to reevaluate their place together. Sadiq has created a compelling narrative that speaks eloquently to the idea of repression, be it political, sexual, or familial, and the ways we are held back from actually achieving self-fulfillment (by the end, the best example of such freedom is exemplified by Biba, a woman loathed and mocked nearly everywhere she goes, save for the nightclubs she performs in), as dangerous a notion in such a rigid society as a hand gernade. 

Empire of Light: To be fair, I had to leave Sam Mendes’ would-be opus about twenty minutes before it came in to a landing (the late-starting screening time forced me to choose between finishing this one or seeing the new Koreeda  —  and it was pretty clear to me which was the better bet), but to speak briefly as to the sections I watched, it felt a good deal like the sort of heavy-handed, Big Picture drama designed to get attention come awards time. Set in 1980, at a grand cinema on the coast of southern England, it offers us Hilary (Olivia Colman), a sweet-minded woman with a schizophrenia diagnosis, who diligently works at said cinema, running the concessions for a stuffed-shirt manager (Colin Firth), who nevertheless invites her regularly into his office for closed-session nookie. She befriends the newest employee, a handsome Black usher named Stephen (Michael Ward), a relationship that eventually turns romantic. Amidst the political uproar at the time (the rise of Thatcherism, and with it, the accompanying xenophobic rage that fueled many a race riot), Hilary ‘s condition begins to worsen after dropping her Lithium prescription, which leads to  —  one supposes  —  a rising dramatic climax as all of her relationships come under the purview of her disease. Just how those things all reseove themselves, I cannot say, but it was pretty clear what Mendes is going for here (including a special paeon to cinephiles with his romanticizing of the old Big Movie Houses, with marquees touting the arrival of films from Stir Crazy to Raging Bull). It wouldn't be the first such film to gun so unapologetically for an Academy Award, but it doesn’t make it any more worthy. 

Broker: It’s sort of curious that Hirokazu Koreeda, a director known for his penchant for ramshackle, thrown-together families in his films (see Shoplifters), takes as his lovable protagonists for this one a pair of child traffickers and the mother who abandoned her months-old son to them. To be sure, we are meant to sympathize with them  —  from their perspective, Sang-hyeon (Song Kang-ho), the ‘mastermind’ and his assistant, Dong-soo (Dong-won Gang), are doing a helpful, righteous thing, taking sad childless parents and the offloaded offspring of overwhelmed young mothers, and combining them into a loving match (nevermind the nature of the transaction, where they stand to make large sums of money on the black market)  —  and see that deep down they aren’t bad people, but Koreeda’s ability to make humorous and charming out of scallywags feels a bit more dicey on this occasion. As affable and likable as he seems, Sang-hyeon has a young daughter of his own he more or less abandoned to her mother, seemingly in favor of the reject bunch he’s spending time with now. Koreeda is able to make a better case for the baby’s mother, So-young (Ji-eun Lee), a young woman forced into prostitution by an uncaring older woman manager, whose baby son is the progeny of a high-ranking Korean mafia don. She begins as some sort of monster  —  a woman who leaves her helpless baby outside a drop box in the middle of the night  —  but gradually becomes more sympathetic as we gather more details about her story. Like Raising Arizona, the baby is treated like some kind of Maltese Falcon, the singular plot element that powers the rest of the film’s universe. In addition to the traffickers, the mother, and a young kid (Seung-soo Im) they inadvertently pick up from the orphanage, the group is also enjoined by a pair of cops (Bae Donna and Lee Joo-young), who are trying to snare them in a sting operation. It’s all well-done, with a kind of rollicking energy (never quite dipping into farce, but presenting a world in which most people seem basically decent and generous in nature), but it doesn’t hit the more transcendent notes of some of his best work. 

Holy Spider: There is a lot of darkness in Ali Abbasi’s Iranian serial killer picture, the kind of ink-black shadows that permeate the frame and fill you with dread. For good reason, it turns out. Based on real events that took place in the city of Mashhad at the turn of the 21st century, the film follows the investigation of a serial killer known as the Spider, a construction worker named Saeed (played here by Mehdi Bajestani), who wages a one-person jihad against the women who walk a desolate section of the city at night as sex workers. He strangles them with their own neck scarves and dumps their bodies where they can be easily found (to this end, he also calls the crime editor of the local paper after each murder to let him know where the body has been deposited). He wants the murders well-documented because he’s after the attention and reverence given to martyrs for his unholy fatwa. After ten bodies are found over a period of nearly half a year with no progress made by the (likely corrupt, certainly unmoved) police department, Rahimi (Zar Amir Ebrahimi, in a role that earned her Best Actress at Cannes), a female journalist from Tehran arrives to help cover the case. Living under the tight regime of the “morality police”  — she is first unable to get her hotel room as a single female until she reveals her profession  —  she must contend with far more than the investigation, including the shameful behavior of the police chief, a smarmy man who seems to have little interest in the case itself, beyond giving him the opportunity to menacingly hit on her. With no progress otherwise, Rahimi decides the best course of action is to put garish levels of makeup on her face and use herself as bait (with her editor meant to watch after her carefully from nearby) in order to lure the Spider into making a move. Harrowingly enough, that turns out to be an effective strategy, such that the last act of the film is the criminal trial for the captured killer, resulting in his final sentence. Curiously, Abbasi chooses to focus a large portion of screentime to the killer, and his loving family, humanizing him in a way that makes his desperate bid for martyrdom that much more horrific. We come to know a fair amount more about him than the steely Rahimi, who has come to this situation after an altercation with her former editor, who tried to blackmail her into sleeping with him. There is much made of the Spider’s eventual notoriety  —  naturally, many of the conservative factions in the city find in him a hero, ridding the world of the “filth” of women walking the streets, as opposed to the men who engage their services  —  such that it’s difficult to watch it and not think about similar American figures (e.g. Kyle Rittenhouse, exonerated and celebrated for murdering two liberal dissenters in more or less cold blood). The vision of the city is unrelentingly grim  —  for every killer brought to justice, one supposes there are many more who go about their business unfettered by the disinterested judicial system  —  and the prospect of justice under such a repressive regime nearly impossible. One killer might have been captured but there are many more, including Saeed’s own teen son, who comes to admire his father’s “work,” ready to take his place at a moment’s notice. 

Wherein the author contemplates this year’s offerings and the past decade of covering this fabulous film festival, as he’s poised to embark on a new career path that will more than likely involve him standing up in front of a group of sullen teens, espousing the glories of the Russian masters, rather than taking in a beatific week of international cinema in the early days of September. 

[eadanga]

The Royal Romance Part 4 Part 1

Parings: LiamxMC

Riley walks over to where Liam and Penelope are talking. Riley walks with confidence as she gets closer hearing part of the conversation

“And that’s how my family acquired its 5th golden poodle statue”

Liam grins clearly amused “I can relate don’t even get me started on the queen’s antique goblet collection”

Riley clears her throat “Excuse me but may I cut in?”

Penelope pouts “If you must”

Riley nods “I must”

Penelope bows to Liam and reluctantly walks away as Liam turns to Riley. Riley felt herself blush at his gaze I gotta relax

Liam smiles “You handled that very well”

Riley nods “I try”

Liam smiles “You do more than that honestly you seem as comfortable here as you did in New York”

Riley grins “Shall we dance?” Liam nods as he takes her hand the orchestra plays a soothing waltz. As they walk onto the dance floor Riley looks around before looking back at Liam “I don’t…I’m not sure I know the steps”

Liam smiles “Just follow my lead”

They dance and sway together as Riley watches his feet and begins to follow. She looks up and smiles “You’re an amazing dancer”

Liam chuckles “My parents will be thrilled to hear that all those years of dancing lessons paid off” He smiles “I’m very glad that I got a moment alone with you Riley”

“Well…relatively alone there’s about 100 people watches us now”

Liam grins “Unfortunately it’s as much privacy as we might expect though I do have a trick up my sleeve”

Liam guides her across the ballroom floor avoiding the other people dancing. He backs up until they are out the two French doors and onto the balcony

Liam releases her “We can get a little more privacy out here at least”

Riley grins “Nice moves”

Liam smiles “I try now I want to know how you are I trust you are being well taken care of here?”

“Maxwell has been very sweet so far he flew me out here and set me up with a room and everything haven’t met his brother yet”

Liam nods “Ah the duke…he’s…different than Maxwell more serious but their house has excellent reputation mostly due to him”

“I see…”

“What about Cordonia? What do you think of my home so far?”

Riley grins “I love it”

Liam grins “Really?”

“It’s beautiful love the architecture the elegant events the music it’s like something out of a fairytale but much better than the fairytales I’ve read”

Liam chuckles “I hoped you would love Cordonia as much as I do it’s…well rather unfortunate if a queen dislikes her kingdom”

“Oh right…” If I end up the one Liam chooses I’ll be queen along side him “I guess that’s a pretty important quality of a queen to be”

Liam sighs “Especially given Cordonia’s recent history”

“What do you mean?”

Liam walks to the railing of the balcony and leans against it “These last few decades have been rocky for us the first queen abandoned my father and older half-brother”

“Do you know why she left at least?”

“She couldn’t handle the pressures of courtly life she came from a lesser noble family so she wasn’t at court long before the marriage and my own mother passed when I as a child”

“You lost your mother” Riley places her hand on Liam’s shoulder “I’m so sorry”

“It was a long time ago”

“And so the current queen?”

“She may not be my mother but she’s a wonderful woman who’s done her best to lead Cordonia alongside my father instability in the monarchy is always dangerous for a small kingdom like ours weakened currency a rise in crime a drop in tourism all because of the lives of the rulers”

“So that’s why you care so much about finding the right queen”

“Exactly I can’t just follow my heart as much as I might want to there’s too many other people I need to think about”

Riley looks at Liam sadly He’s got a lot on his shoulders running a kingdom no time for himself

Liam shakes his head “Sorry I didn’t mean to burden you with all this”

Riley smiles “You can tell me anything you’ve got a lot resting on your shoulders”

“True but can I at least take a moment to sprinkle in tales of my misspent youth?”

Riley smiles “I wouldn’t mind hearing those either”

“One summer when I was only 8 my father decided to throw me into the rigors of governing he made me sit through hours of meetings for 3 weeks straight finally I couldn’t take another minute I decided to liberate myself”

“Wait you played hooky?”

Liam nods “Yeah Drake and I stole a monster supply of chocolate from the kitchens and we hid out in the gardens we spent the evening making up games to in the garden maze our best one was maze tag” Liam grins as he points “You can see the entrance to the maze over there right by the hedges”

“Maze tag? Let me guess you played tag in the maze?”

Liam nods “You got it not our most clever named game but whoever was it had to run after the other person in the maze you lost if you were it by the time the other person got to the center we played that for hours until we nearly collapsed from exhaustion but we were too stubborn to go back we used the last of our strength to climb up the tree in the center of the hedge maze and vowed to live out there we fell asleep in that tree and I woke up when I fell off the branch landed flat on my back swearing up a storm I hope this doesn’t destroy your image of me of a proper prince”

“What surprises me is that you know any swear words your always so proper”

Liam smirks “Maybe in front of you”

“Well I want meet the Liam who played hooky and sleeps in trees”

“I miss those carefree summers” Liam sighs “But I’m afraid those days are behind me”

The music picks up in the ballroom and Liam takes her hand and guides her back into the ballroom the music begins to wind and Liam sighs “The song is coming to end and the Masquerade along with it we’ll have to say good night soon”

Riley sighs “Is this how it’s gonna have to be the next few months? Stealing a couple of minutes here and there?”

“As I said things are different here…I should spend time with the other girls to be fair to them”

“Who says it has to?”

Liam grins “Uh-oh the last time you got that gleam in your eye we ended up on a boat to the Statue of Liberty”

“Do you regret?”

“Never what are you proposing?”

“Would you meet me in the garden maze?”

“Yes…but my bodyguards would never let me go out there alone”

“You won’t be alone I’ll be there”

Liam grins “They’ll like that even less we shouldn’t”

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Cause we both know how much I want to”

“I hope I won’t be alone”

Liam stares at her “Riley …”

The waltz comes to and MC and Liam bow to each to other before Riley walks away Liam pulls her closer as he whispers in her ears “I’ll see you in twenty”

Riley smiles as she walks away and slips out the palace to wait for Liam

A/N: It's getting late over here so decided to split this chapter into 2 parts I'll release the next part by the end of the week

Tags: @indiacater​​​​ @the-soot-sprite​​​​ @mfackenthal​​​​ @gkittylove99​​​​  @iaminlovewithtrr​​​​ @princess-geek​​​​  @ta-sayeed​​​  

[thebadboyfanclub]

Pleasure Is All Mine (Jasper Hale x Reader)

This was requested by @yoloforprez2051​ it’s not the longest imagine I’ve written but I’m very happy with it and I hope you are as well. Enjoy!

(Y/n) fell in love with music since she was a baby, her father was a musician so she was born and raised around beautiful melodies and song practicing, meeting different bands and singers that worked with him, it was almost expected from her to be born with some amazing talent that had to do with music. Her talent and passion was singing, her voice was angelic and when her father signed her for some singing lessons she blossomed into this powerhouse that could sing some notes that were considered vocal suicide.Jasper was passing by this small little bar that looked like it was having a special party, it was abnormally filled with people and packed with dancers.

 That’s when he heard it, her voice went through his ears and brought goosebumps in his body, that distinguished voice, so smooth and melodic it would make anyone move their body to the beat. However, he found the choice of the song ironic, the talented anonymous girl was singing the infamous song “maria maria” by carlos santana who would probably be extremely proud of this cover if he heard it.

He acted impulsively when he turned around and walked right in the bar, getting baffled by the smell of sweat and blood that was pumping through the peoples veins, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to resist, he had to see who was this girl. As he moved through the crowd he slowly got to take a good look at the singer, if he didn’t know any better he would have swore he was dreaming

.“Hello Sir, would you like a table?”

“Uh yes please, as close to the stage as possible”

“Follow me Sir”

As he followed the hostess he was magnetized by the girl, feeling compelled to keep looking at her, afraid that if he took off his eyes from her she would suddenly disappear. She was wearing this magnificent red silk dress that had two golden spaghetti straps that had a teasing slit down her left thigh leaving her naked flesh on display, her hair was down and cascading down her shoulders, her lips were painted red and her face looked like it was carved by angels, her hands touching the mic stands and mic, hypnotizing the audience with her every move. She couldn’t be human, there was no human that looked so perfect

“Anything to drink Sir?”

“not yet, thank you”

As he sat down he kept admiring the woman that kept singing. Her eyes were holding such fire, the passion she had was running through her, it almost felt inappropriate to watch her, like watching a woman get undressed and getting all blushed and shy, nonetheless you couldn’t stop watching, frozen in place and keeping your eyes to her. He sat there for Gods know how long, she sang so many different songs and he has yet to feel tired, on the contrary he wanted to listen to her for hours on end. Feeling her sense of bliss and sensuality was something he had not felt often in a woman, she was the star of the show and she was very happy about it.

On the other side, (Y/n) had noticed the young man that looked at her intensely, of course she had seen plenty of men look at her like that, but from him it felt different, she wanted to him to look at her like that it was mutual fascination one would say. His dark eyes intrigued her, although she was a fan of dark haired men his dirty blonde hair was exactly what suited him and completed his look and who wouldn’t notice his facial features, those cheekbones and strong jaw made him look like a God.

She rarely did this but something inside her pushed her legs one in front of the other up until she was standing right behind him. She had noticed he was here alone which couldn’t be a better scenario for him to approach him

“May I sit down?”

He was aware she was coming, he had heard her proud walk and strong click clack of her heels from a mile away. He only smiled at her as he got up and pushed back the chair next to him, she was more than surprised by his kind gesture but she didn’t complain of course, she only sat down and whispered a thank you for only him to hear. Her voice was as melodic as her singing, sensual, clear and strong.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, my name is Jasper Hale, pleasure to meet you”

“(Y/f/n) pleasure is all mine”

As he reached to take her hand in his he got a sense of her perfume, she smelled so... delicious. It took every drop of discipline in him to not sink his teeth in her wrist and to just simply give aa gentle kiss on her hand. Right then and there he decided that she was what he was looking for, his mate, his sanctuary

-

Jasper from that point on chased (y/n) hard, gave her everything he could emotionally and spiritually, she was his mate and he wanted to be by her 24/7. He had even brought his family to one of the shows, Emmett was on of her biggest fans, asking Jasper to take him with him like a little sibling that wants to party with the older one. (Y/n) was a sweet soul, she brought out such a gentle and calming nature out of Jasper, however he was insecure about his past relationship.

Maria haunted him, clouded his thoughts and took over his mind, her poison seeping through him. He remembered all the times he was manipulated by her, told him how much she loved him just to do her dirty work, he was disposable to her, a mere nothing. Sometimes he would even fear if (y/n) was going to be like that as well, hurt him in her own way.

“Jasper, are you alright babe?”

She had gone to take a shower and left him in her room waiting, she loved that damn Carlos Santana song so much she sang it almost every time in the shower. For Jasper it was torture, just the mention of the name brought all those memories and theories to the front of his mind, it was a slow death and the corporate was just his anxiety.

“Yes darling I’m fine”

No he wasn’t, she could see it. Usually when she got out of the shower he would tease her and try to pull the towel off of her freshly washed body, it was this cute little routine they had developed, now he just laid there, doing and looking at absolutely nothing, yet his gaze was intense, like he was having an internal battle. She quickly dried herself and put on a silk short pajama night gown before slipping in her bed and wrapping her legs and arms around him, demanding to be the big spoon.

Jasper could only smirk at her way of calming him, he could never hide from her when he was upset or sad, even though he was the ne that could feel others emotions. As they laid together Jasper could smell her favorite body wash, the smell of raspberry slipping through his nose, bring a wave of comfort and familiarity as her hot skin touched his cold body. Her hand quickly found her way through his hair, she always loved to do that, it was like he was in heave when she was there.

“ There was a woman

Born from a lotus

Her heart was golden

Deep as the ocean

And then this one man

He came and broke it

'Til it was open

Just like a lotus”

It was her go to song to sing to him when he was sad, Jhene aiko was one of her favorite artist and he enjoyed her songs as well, they were very soothing and calming so he never complained, one his first memories with her was coming over in the morning and finding her cooking with just a shirt on while Jhene’s songs played around the house. 

As she kept holding him tight his mind slowly got rid of all those dark thoughts and replaced it with thoughts about (y/n), how she made him happy, how much her hair has grown, how her skin felt so smooth and soft under his touch, how her voice made his breathing slow and deep. 

Once she felt him relax and calm down she leaned in to place a kiss on his lips to which he responded, his hands finding her face and bringing her closer to him, feeling any type of space they had- if they had- She smiled during that kiss, happy that he was back to being himself and completely relaxed, she almost felt accomplished that she could be his source of stress relief.

“Thank you darling”

“Don’t mention it, are you feeling better?”

“I’m feeling like I’m in... what had you called it? Nirvana?”

She giggled at him as he kissed her one more time. She loved this intimate moments, they were just two people in the comfort of her home where they had 100% privacy and be intimate and vulnerable. She settled in close to him and placed her head on shoulder, hiding her face on his neck, she always liked to nuzzle there, take in his sense and enjoy the silence

“I’m really glad you’re here, it was starting to get lonely in this apartment”

“Oh dear trust me, It almost felt like I was alone for decades before I met you”

“Stop with the corny vampire jokes”

“Oh come on that was a good one, even Rose liked that one”

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Vyjayanthimala (Madhumati, Amrapali, Sangam, Devdas)—Strong contender for /the/ OG queen of Indian cinema for over 2 straight decades. Her Filmfare Lifetime Achievement Award came not a moment too soon with 62 movies under her belt. Singer, dancer, actor, and also has the most expressive set of eyes known to man

Gloria Swanson (Don't Change Your Husband, Queen Kelly, Sadie Thompson, Sunset Boulevard)—the absolute BALLS this woman had! an icon of the 1920s, her career had simmered down, decent living in radio, deciding you know what? you know what i'll do? I'll star as the haggard old aging decrepit horror icon in Sunset Boulevard, that's what I'll do. Nobody else in Hollywood would take the part (every other actress didn't want to be framed as a has-been)—gloria said, fuck that, I'll eat this role alive and serve cunt the whole time. she was still so gorgeous when they made Sunset Boulevard they had to intentionally make her up/costume her to make her look older than she was. mad respect for the screen legend who says yeah, i am a screen legend, i was always that bitch and here I am again to prove it

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Vyjayanthimala:

Linked gifset

Linked gifset 2

Linked gifset 3

Linked gifset 4

Linked gifset 5

Linked gifset 6

Gloria Swanson:

She was THE idea of a 1920s sex comedy star, and was a hot (and totally unhinged) older woman in Sunset Boulevard. Hot as a young woman and as an older woman? Yes plz

I feel like she would slay in alternative fashion

her performance as Norma Desmond in sunset boulevard makes me insane. I love her

[ellana-lavellan-rp]

IRREVERSIBLE ; .

(( for @dreadwxlf. ty for being so patient with me!

ellana's outfit is here.

the waltz music i'm imagining is here and also here.

here's to solavellan happiness at last!!!

also tw: mention of attempted suicide via drowning ))

-x-

irreversible [ ir-i-vur-suh-buhl ]: adjective not reversible; incapable of being changed.

-x-

Things began to get better for Ellana after the time Fen'harel had snuck into her dream - over time (decades, it would turn out to be), and with distance, her heart started to mend anew. It was precipitated by one of the greatest mistakes she had made to date (and she can still feel the water in her lungs if she thinks about it too much), but her remaining friends and family had seen her through it. It was difficult at first, to put down the trinkets that had so defined the legacy of her friends, but she had had to do it for her own sake.

She couldn't keep holding onto a world long dead, it would destroy her too; and in fact, it almost had.

-x-

(the water is cold, and she is so, so tired - she cannot bear being here even a moment longer -

wading, and then diving -

and she wills with every inch of her deadened heart:

drag me down -

and the water obeys)

-x-

Dorian's message crystal had been the last item she had put away, deep into one of her drawers, and she had wept the entire time (almost unable to put it away at all). But with that weeping came a certain kind of healing, a realization; she would never forget them, but they were gone. They wouldn't have wanted her to waste away like she had been doing - a slower, more painful death than even drowning.

They would have wanted better for her.

And so she regrew her arm, regrew her hair, removed her piercing (which she had hated even though it was in remembrance of thom), and started to eat again. It wasn't overnight, and she still had bad days along the way, but she slowly began to regain the strength that she had lost.

Ellana took up more of the clan leadership duties, helping Deshanna and even Fenris, who had taken it upon himself to assist in her absence. Which she was silently grateful for, even as she buried it with her other guilt - she shouldn't have been so weak, she should've been stronger - but what was done was done.

What's done is done... but we have eternity now..

there will always be a place for you... His words never stopped haunting her either - nor the memory of his wounded face after the destruction of the dream. He hadn't come back since... he had probably already moved on from her.

The thought shouldn't have hurt as much as it did.

In her darkest hours, when she was laying in bed alone, Ellana could admit now that she still loved Solas; she probably always would. But how could she ever trust him again, even if they did somehow reunite?

It was probably better this way, even though it didn't make it hurt any less.

She was adamant about not stepping a toe into Arlathan, however, and she kept that promise for years, until one day her parents had needed her to go in their place for one of the clan's trading days.

-x-

"Just this once, da'lath'in."

Her mother had said, and Ellana was helpless to deny her anything.

-x-

Somehow that one incident had turned into regular visits (only to the marketplace, she never wandered beyond it, and it seemed that Solas never visited, at least on the days her clan was there), and Ellana slowly began to get comfortable there as well.

It was indescribable - the beauty of the crystal through the clouds, the finery of the clothes the people wore - the feel of magic everywhere and spirits aplenty; and a sad, sad part of her could see why Solas had wanted it back so badly. None of it had been worth their friends lives though, but even the pain behind that thought lessened as time wore on.

Before she knew it, decades had passed, and the annual celebration of the rebirth of Arlathan was upon them. She had stayed far away by that point, but a curious part of her wondered what the celebration was like. Was it like Orlais; where the game had been rampant? Or was it like the Dalish, whose parties had been the talk amongst humans for ages for their rambunctiousness?

Did they honor the fallen? Or was it held as a glorious victory, regardless of its victims?

She tried not to think about it too much, but as the evening fell upon them once more, her mother had pulled her aside.

-x-

"Why don't you go tonight, da'lath'in? You've had this longing look on your face all day."

"You know why, mamae.. I can't... I can't face him."

Her mother's warm brown eyes soften, and she pulls Ellana close. "Yes you can, and I know you want to. You can lie to the others, da'len, but you cannot lie to me. Enough time has passed, why not show him what he's missing?"

Ellana sighs, hugging the older woman tightly, "He's probably already with someone else. You know how the women talk of him."

She chuckles, eyes sparkling with mirth, "I have it on good authority that he isn't."

Blue eyes narrow and she looks up at her mother in shock, "Who..."

"Never you mind. Go get changed, I've left your outfit in your hut. A friend of mine told me that it was quite the outfit back in the ancient days. Perfect for Fen'harel, wouldn't you say?"

"Mamae!!!"

Her mother laughs, "I just want you happy, my darling. And you're not happy here, not fully, at least."

-x-

It was true, but that didn't mean that Ellana was fully ready to admit it.

She had gotten changed after all; the strange white material flowing like silk around her, the golden cuffs an odd weight around her wrists and neck. The golden circlet at the bottom of her hair (which was pulled back), wrapping around her ears, was probably the oddest piece - it felt like something nobility would wear, but she was hardly that.

Not for the first time, she wondered who her mother's friend was, and why they would even deem it necessary to help her with Solas.

It made her off-kilter... a feeling only amplified when she found herself back in Arlathan once more - more people than she had ever seen before, reveling in a grand ball, of all things. A palace, with rooms of gold and white, and crystal everywhere - a sight that truly took her breath away.

It was beautiful, and nothing like she had ever seen before.

At least no one was paying her much attention, their focus on the main ballroom and the dancers within it, she mused as she grabbed a glass of wine from one of the floating trays, testing its sweetness.

Divine, and Ellana just about rolled her eyes - everything here was perfect, almost too much so - but her thoughts grinded to a halt when she caught sight of just who the dancers on the floor were.

It was... him. And another woman, which made her fingers tighten on the stem of the glass, even as her mind raced -

Mamae was wrong, I knew -

But just as her thought had formed, Solas had quickly moved onto another partner, disengaging the previous with what looked like politeness (her heart pounded with relief). It continued that way throughout the night, partner after partner, her blue eyes never leaving him (blending in with the crowd), even as he managed to somehow slip away.

He was beautiful, her vhenan.

Adorned in a black outfit, more than complimenting her own stark white - the same type of golden cuffs around his wrists and neck.

Like they belonged together. Like they were meant to be.

The thought took her breath away.

I never... stopped loving him. Not really.

Her feet moved of their own volition, dodging the crowd, her entire focus shifting to the man in front of her (who seemed to be willing those around not to notice his departure, but he could never escape her, not with a will as stubborn as his own).

She followed him to the courtyard, and watched as he exhaled a breath.

Ellana could barely think with the ringing in her ears, her heart viscerally pounding in her chest, he was here and he was so close -

She stepped closer, and closer, and finally, finally was able to speak, "Solas."

Her voice was light in the midst of all the celebration, and she suddenly didn't know what to say. "... I.. how.. have you been?"

[sweetfirebird]

The 1950s were like 70 years ago. You tend to think you could get along if you could time travel, I mean, roughly. Depending on who you are and when/where you go, I mean. On a purely 'understanding what the fuck is going on' and 'technically being able to maneuver in that world' level, all of us imagine we would at least be able to comprehend what was happening and be able to like... idk scramble through the streets of (in this case) 1950s LA to get to the mad scientist who can send us back (to the future lol. 121 gigawatts, Marty!) But I'm really questioning how well we'd fit in, and I think the answer is more that episode of Futurama where Fry is his own grandfather than Star Trek: The One With the Whales (which I love, but I actually think that even Kirk would be hopelessly fucking lost more of the time. I would get disoriented if I was in 1980s San Francisco and I have been to 1980s San Francisco. He is from the 23rd century.)

Like, so we have recordings of Americans in the late 20s and early 30s and they really did talk at the speed of and in the manner of old timey radio broadcasts would suggest. AND they would be using slang, including ephemeral local vernacular that did not linger long enough to get written down. They would give directions to places that no longer exist in your time, or have different names, or different connotations. All that. Money and its value would be different, even if you had any. Using a telephone involves knowing exchanges or talking to operators... and probably using a public phone in a drugstore or something. (And a rotary dial, which I at least could do. lol)

Then the other issues, race, gender, appearance. The rules of how people could act in public in different times are so wildly different that, for example, some younger people on tumblr now have issues with how older tumblr users act (and vice versa) because of how society has changed over even one or two decades. That's a communication issue.

If you're wondering, this episode of Perry Mason just reminded me of how you couldn't say the word "pregnant" on American television in the 1950s or even show pregnancy or married people sharing a bed (even if they were not in the bed at the time). When the very married Lucille Ball got pregnant while shooting I Love Lucy, it was a whole THING to discuss how to deal with it on the show. (They finally titled the episode Lucy is Enceinte like she was a Regency heroine because they still could not say pregnant. A basic fact of life that everyone was aware of but was forbidden and secret--and for comparison, Perry Mason has shown us burlesque and fan dancers.) I am trying to imagine me operating in such a world (as I struggle to reach the mad scientist waiting outside the clock tower. Or maybe as I wait undercover for a while and have to get along in that time and place) in which me driving at night alone would raise eyebrows (me driving at all not rare but also a Thing), I could not be in a bar by myself at the nicer bars or hotels because they would assume I was a prostitute and kick me out, most men being absolute creeps was allowed and even the non-creeps would be pretty creepy by today's standards. I can only imagine the rules I don't know and the attention I would get even if I was wearing the right clothing. AND I wouldn't understand the nuance of most of what people were saying, even though I would possibly understand most of the words they were saying. Then like... the food. 1950s American food uh... would likely make me ill. (Thinking of that scene in Infamous where Truman Capote walks into the middle America grocery store looking for cheese and can only find... Velveeta.) Everyone on Perry Mason just seems to eat steak or white bread. I'm not kidding. And drink and smoke. Everyone is smoking. I couldn't even walk into a restaurant, I would die.

But of course, I would likely die anyway, probably of polio or smallpox, because we eradicated those so hard since the 50s that no one my age was inoculated against them.

(Or maybe, maybe, the anxiety that white America lived with all the time and denied having would be relatable and they'd be like, atomic bomb, amirite? and I'd be like, climate change, ya dig? Who knows.)

[cherry-interlude]

Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranked (2)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the second of five posts, going past my least favourites.

Money Hunny

Lana details the downside of money, detailing the ways it ruins lives and causes more problems that good for some. However, it’s simplicity isn’t what makes Money Hunny fall short – it doesn’t resonate at all compared to Lana’s countless songs where she is either rich and famous or she is desperate for money (or men with money). As thought-provoking as Money Hunny is, it feels too twee and out of place in her money-adoring music to really hit hard. If Lana has spoken on the topic of how money can literally damage lives more, it would perhaps gel better with me, but with songs like Money Power Glory, National Anthem and Off To The Races (among many, many others), it doesn’t hit the mark as a Lana Del Rey (alternate names included) song.

Strangelove

Strangelove is hypnotising, from Lana’s mesmerising voice that gives her the impression of a Las Vegas desert temptress, seducing strangers and wishing for the simple pleasures of Christmas lights and mint juleps. It hits best for the first opening chorus.

Stoplight Delite

Opening with a tuneful mechanical whir, Lana’s song wouldn’t be amiss in a teen romance film. I’m not convinced by the mishmash of music – the more classical band instruments with unrelenting whirring begins to overwhelm the song. Lana’s at her sweetest in this however.

Daddy Issues

The music is a bit too harsh but it’s a nice enough song, referencing Baby Blue Love among others. It isn’t Lana’s best by far, messy with lyrics that go all over the place, but (yet again), it would be more promising if it was completely remade and produced properly. The demo, I Was In A Bad Way, is a lot more maudlin and less enthusiastic, so it does fall behind Daddy Issues.

Catch and Release

It’s another song that’s kind of creepy, with an eerie vibe thanks to the relentless, whining music and Lana’s razor-edged warnings in her lyrics. Lana is practically a megalomaniac in this song, completely selfish and unafraid to ask for – and get – what she wants. Yet it’s quite a hypnotising track that, with further production, could be more cohesive and dramatic.

Marilyn

One of her old live performances, Marilyn is too simple in its lyrics but is a strangely erotic tribute to Lana’s icon. Lana owns the stage in this performance, a more carnal honouring than some of her other outputs.

Noir

Lana really goes for it in this furious song of crushed self-esteem and badly treated lover. Lana lets her vocals rip and tear as she growls about her “papi”, her being merely his dolly to do as he pleases. It's not her most perfect song but she doesn’t hold back from letting her hurt and frustration spill over.

Bellevue

Lana utilises haunting harmonising in Bellevue and though she seems hung up on her lover not wanting her around (she repeats it, as if she can’t let go, throughout the song) she still convinces herself she could go back to the old days of drinking and not being hurt. It helps – her chanting – to bring out the emotion of the lyrics, and maintain that broken feeling she is so good at conveying whilst saying how happy she is.

Put Your Lips Together

Taking on the character of a femme fatale who can hold her own, Lana seduces the listener on top of a chilled instrumental. Her lyrics are little bit dirtier as much as her vocals aren’t their best in the choruses (of course, it being a rough demo might have something to do with that). It’s definitely a song that, if completed, could rank alongside Beautiful Player and Ooh Baby in her seduction library.

Starry Eyed

Starry Eyed is a romantic enough song, with a gentle plinking intro that leads to a rumbling, Born To Die-esque track – complete with Lana’s pretty vocals. However, it does tend to drag, a slow song that I find majorly skippable. The dragged-out choruses get tiring after a while of listening so I don’t frequently listen to this song.

Breaking My Heart

Lana is fully materialistic in this song, referencing multiple designer companies as well as her desire to be loved and party. It’s not too imaginative in its lyrics, instead pure pop with a mixture of lyrics that never quite come through with a particular meaning, but it’s a good enough bop.

Butterflies Part 1

A little love song about a tumultuous teen romance, Lana plays off the lovestruck teen ultimately in love with a guy not good for her perfectly. It’s heady and full of the rushes of love, emotive enough to get the feeling of a girl going mad from her relationship.

Ben

Lana, using the rain to her advantages, moodily comforts her executive love in the full femme fatale façade, quietly passionate. Lana, as much as she loves him, is still her own woman, insisting she will smoke if she wants and playing with her voice to showcase such control.

All Smiles

Lana puts on a happy smile as she mopes over Jimmy in this small-town, fifties-painted tale of a girl who wants a man she can’t have. She mostly hits the mark in this acoustic track and has the right foundations for a decent country ballad.

My Best Days

My Best Days is a short song of cleverly utilised trap beats, autotune and slowly layering instrumental in which Lana isn’t happy without her lover. The organ outro is gorgeous, and it’s a track that can perk you up or calm you down.

Get Drunk

Restless pace, whispered mocking and an overall darkly seductive tone – it’s unembellished and, in some ways, could play as Lana dealing with her past alcoholism (demanding whomever the song is directed to should get drunk). It’s a vibe Lana should explore more over a decade since Get Drunk and the like were made.

Let My Hair Down

A simple and spooky track, Lana has an acoustic jam session consisting of unsettled guitar, bongos and her voice. It’s rather repetitive but it’s something different that works well. It shows Lana doesn’t need too many fusses and frills on her tracks to make something captivating, much like her Sirens album.

Every Man Gets His Wish

The intro of upbeat whistling climbs into a lowkey track that goes from sensual stuttering and a sad chorus that still sounds like Lana has a smile on her face. The mood shifts along with the tune but it is altogether cohesive.

Dance For Money

As stripped as the pole dancer Lana plays, Lana gently teases and cajoles in her ode to older men, lemonade and motorcycles with little else.

Back To Tha Basics

Much like the title, this track is a little bit basic but it’s still zesty with a wonderful instrumental and some pop-inspired vocals.

Butterflies Part 2

Production isn’t perfect on this track but Lana has such promise in this song in which she compares to lured in girls to butterflies pinned to a wall, all at once melancholy, knowing and cheeky. It’s unfortunate that the lyrics are so hidden beneath the dominating instrumental, but with tweaking this stormer could be even better.

Children of the Bad Revolution

The kind of song that would be found on one of her albums, Children of the Bad Revolution is a pacy dedication to Lana’s life as a delinquent a la the 1950s starlets. It’s good but it’s not anything too impressive, instead a chilled track that is simply about being free.

Beautiful Player

Lana mopes in the track about a somewhat disliked girl (perhaps they’re all jealous of her) who is in love with one of her players, giving the feel of a villain club performer smiling with red lipstick on and black mascara staining her cheeks.

Lift Your Eyes

Lana takes control in this song, instructing her lover to lift his eyes, rise above his demons and join her in self-respect. It’s a fine alternative to her gushing and moping characters, and with machine-like music running under the song, Lana sounds stronger than ever.

Valley of the Dolls

In this compact track Lana is once again frustrated by her lover. It’s pained but pretty with her vocals once again taking the forefront.

C U L8r Alligator

Just an acapella demo, C U L8r Alligator is simply Lana’s voice with her beating a rhythm in time. However, I really do like this song. I think it would sound even better polished and complete, but for a rough demo it’s promising. The Kristijan Majic remix is the version I most listen to, which makes it sound even more eerie (and if anyone remembers the D1ETPUSSY video that went with it, you’ll get why this song doubly haunts me). It’s not Lana’s finest but it’s a song I would have loved to see developed.

In The Sun

In The Sun is so hot it burns, more heatwave than refreshing sunshine, as she scorns her ex-lover. It’s not the finest instrumental but Lana sticks her fingers up with incredulous shock that someone could betray her so. She keeps the vibe great paired with blue skies and swimming pools with the upbeat music.

Hot Hot Hot

Big Bad Wolf, a slightly different demo track, is what I favour – stripped back, sexily uneasy, the lyrics letting the vivid imagery of red skirts, red cars and devilish men shine. Yet Hot Hot Hot is a decent, if not cheesier, song too, the chanting great for singing along.

Trees

Lana and The Rich Whores strike out with this kickass band-driven track that showcases Lana’s feistier vocals strongly. The lyrics are sparse but the overall feel of Lana going nineties-rock-chick keeps me wanting more of her in this style.

Push Me Down

Rather than being like the controversial Ultraviolence, Lana keeps the ‘violence’ fun in this pacy song, demanding her bad boy treats her badly in the best way possible. With a mildly rock edge, it’s still distinctively party-Lana, reminding of a pop-ier True Love On The Side.

She’s Not Me

It isn’t particularly imaginative pop but Lana lets the guitars do the talking as she whispers her warnings to her ex-lover. Lana owns this track, and though it feels a bit amateur in comparison to her discography and some of her stronger unreleased music, it shows she would have been great even if she went for the noughties chart pop scene. Fun and punchy, it’s a song to play on repeat.

I Don’t Wanna Go

The tentative and tight intro gives me the vibe that Lana wants to avoid going home rather than simply wanting to hang out with her lover, and her pain-tinted vocals in the chorus only add to the theory. She compliments her fascinating guy throughout the verses, a little more restrained but ultimately tense in delivery, before confessing how much she wants to stay out.

St Tropez

This is a great track for dancing and a celebration of being a party girl with plenty of attention. Best played when you want to imagine yourself as the main character.

Summer of Sam

Lana has yet another song of being a cutesy bad girl, comparable to the likes of Dangerous Girl and Playground, but it’s still fairly generic, standard pop fare. Summer of Sam is still quite fun however, drenched in pop and even with a hint of rap-talking keeping the song lively.

I Talk To Jesus

Lana returns to her religious roots in a less blasphemous way (Body Electric, for example) and instead sings a sad ditty about wishing she could have her old life. Solemnly it remembers her past (as seen in her older music) where she had the trailer parks, Christmas lights and her equally holy boyfriend.

Axl Rose Husband

The imagery is rich and gorgeous, not to mention the reference to one of Lana’s idols, but Axl Rose Husband doesn’t always do it for me – despite her strained, desperate vocals that perfectly exemplify her emotion.

Ooh Baby

Sampling Sexual Healing, Lana ramps up the sex appeal as she lets the listener know how much they want her, all while keeping it a little but more upbeat than the original song.

Other Woman

Lana’s tired of being the other woman in this track, and I like the way the lyrics flesh out the story a bit more rather. However, the chorus does get a bit tiresome sometimes.

Girl That Got Away

Lana shows you exactly what you’re missing as she mopes for her ex-lover with a smile on her face, taking the reins and knowing she has something he misses in a bubble-gum pop song about being the it girl you’ll regret letting go of.