#she's just a tired lil kid doin her best

[smokbeast]

Hope

[livviewritess]

♡..I don't wanna be the owner of your fantasy, I just wanna be apart of your family.. ♡

Dad!daryl.

Summary: Y/Ns family isn't the best, so she finds comfort in the hot headed redneck.

Era: the quarry

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Tw: abuse (mental and physical), alcohol, methamphetamine use (drugs), PTSD, mentions of ADHD. (Let me know if I've missed anything.)

Smashed bottles, shouting and fighting was the norm for Y/N L/N. Its just how It was. She had developed PTSD as a young child, flinching from any sort of loud noise or screaming. And today wasn't any different.

She walked out of the trailer she called 'home'. Although it wasn't much of a home. She lived and breathed in it, but she didn't go there when she wanted comfort or seek warmth. No. Never. She hated it there. It always smelled of Alcohol or weed, and the smell would just never go, no matter how much of her sacred perfume she sprayed.

She only had socks on her feet, and was wearing a pink nightie with bows on it, her hair neatly tied up in a ponytail. Tears fell from her tired eyes, dripping down her cheeks and onto the bundle, her baby sister.

Her parents where drunk, so they probably didn't even notice the absence of their 14 year old and 3 month old. That was the norm for the L/N family.

She sat down next to the water, her knees brought up to her chest, leaving just enough space to rest the baby in her lap.

The sound of her tears dripping against the little pit of water in the sound calmed her and the baby. She wondered why, though. The tears that where falling from her pretty eyes where one's made shed by her own parents. The two people in her life that where meant to help her and care for her. She stared at her reflection, brushing a piece of stay hair out of the babies face.

She cuddled her sister, humming her favourite song. She rocked side to side gently, before singing quietly, careful not to wake up anyone near.

"Staring down the barrel of the hot sun.. shining with a sheen of a shotgun.. Carol has a little if we need some.. joa has a ride if you wanna come.."

She carried on singing, tears brimming her eyes again. Faint footsteps carried up the beach, but she was too indulged in singing and keeping the baby asleep to care.

"grocery store list now you get this, I don't wanna be the owner of your fantasy, I just wanna be apart of your family.."

Footsteps creep up behind her and she jumped, spinning around on her knees. It was the redneck man with the motorbike. Daryl, his name was. She stared up at him, the bundle still in her arms. She was confused about why he was up so late. Until she realised she was too.

"What are ya doin' out here this late, sunshine?" He asked. She stayed quiet, bowing her head for a second, before looking up at him again. "I just.. wanted some space and water." She said, standing up. Daryls eyebrows furrowed with confusion and something else.. empathy.

He could see her tear stained face, the little wet spots on the babies blanket. He sighed, rubbing his forehead. He leaned his crossbow and string of squirrel and bird on the rock wall, before holding his arms out. Y/N looked at him confused, then passing him the baby. He rocked her, smiling a little.

"Cute lil' thing, huh? What's her name?" The gruff man said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Oh, Rose," she said, bowing her head once more. "Ya named her, didn't you?.." daryl asked, taking int he girls expression as a yes. He knew her parents where horrible.. just like his. He scanned her face, seeing himself in her. A young, scared, innocent little kid just waiting for their childhood to be destroyed.

"I.. I'm sorry for waking you, Mr Dixon, I'm so sorry.." she apologised, daryl shaking his head in disbelief. How is she apologising for something she didn't do? Ah. She did it often. To her parents.

"Ya didn't wake me, kid. I jus' came back from huntin'. Nothin' ta worry 'bout." He said, before letting out a huff, swapping the little on to his other arm carefully before pulling the kid into a side hug. And, she cried. Poured her little heart out. Sobs wracked through her body as daryl swayed, shushing her, and doing anything he could to comfort her.

"C'mon. Let's get Ya to bed. Yer sleepin' in the tent next ta me. The little one can sleep in yer arms. That okay sunshine?" She nods, smiling up at him, picking up his crossbow and squirrels up for him, following him up to his little spot.

"Merle the Madman isn't here.. right?.." She said, making daryl smile. Although he had disappeared thanks to officer friendly, he liked the nickname. "Nah. He's not here. Went missin'." He said, and she let out a quiet sigh. "I'm sorry Mr Dixon.." daryl layed out the two sleeping bags, patting it, letting her lay down comfortably.

"Nah. S'its alrigh'. Bastard had it comin'." She laughed a little, before taking her sister out of daryls arms, making her comfortable too.

"And sunshine?" Daryl said, turning to her.

"Yes Mr Dixon?"

"From now on, it's Daryl." He said, they both settled, eventually falling asleep, a smile on both their faces.

Early in the morning, y/n woke up with an empty sleeping bag next to her. She yawned, and stretched. She sat up, picking up her little sister. She needed a bottle, but she decided to ask Carol for one instead of going back in that wretched camper trailer.

Her feet padded along the dirt, until she came to an abrupt stop around the camp fire logs. She stared at the sight infront of her, tears involuntarily falling down her face.

Her mother was lying there, a stab wound in her head. She had turned. She probably went outside to the RV to go to the toilet and got attacked. Or overdosed. One of the two.

Her dad was drunkenly screaming, as usual, Rick and Shane trying to calm him down, before his eyes landed on you.

He stomped towards you, and all you could see is flashes of the amount of times he'd hit you, and threatened your life. Your eyes widened as he got closer and closer, bottle ready to hit you.

Until someone hit him.

He fell, flat on the ground, groaning, blood trickling from the side of his head. Daryl had hit him with a nearby pole. She looked at daryl, tears in her eyes.

Daryl pulled her into a tight hug, comforting her and scowling at her dad at the same time. Nobody expected that from a dixon. The hitting thing? Yeah. The comforting a 14 year old infront of a group of atleast 20 people? No. Not at all.

Shane and Rick grabbed the man, hoisting him up, and putting him back in his trailer, slamming the door shut.

"Daryl! That is not how we deal with stuff around here!" Shane shouted, daryl shielding her from everything, but you looked under his arm.

"Maybe if ya lowlifes tried ta take him down 'Fore he started hittin' his own kid, I wouldn't have had ta hit him!" He snapped back at Shane. Shane scowled, shifting his weight onto one of his legs and putting his hands on his hips. "Let me tell you somethin'. Maybe if you pulled your head outta your ass, looked around and read the room you wouldn't have to hit people," he said, adjusting his awful cap.

"Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass and stopped thinking with your dick we'd have a stable community we all could live and thrive in." She said. Everyone went dead silent. So did he. And daryl. He just trudged away to go and deal with her dad.

Daryl and Y/N got back to their tent, and liv placed her sister into the makeshift cot. "Daryl?" She asked. "Yes sunshine?"

"Can I call you dad?" She said, staring up at him with those beautiful puppy eyes he just adored.

"Sure thing, Darlin'."

An: I enjoyed writing this. One of my favourite fics so far I think. Thank you for reading <3

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[lillambtotheslaughter]

Jolene Olight transcript

(featuring both @/g0ttal0ve101, and @/johnnysgir1 OC interactions!)

(Jolene's ability name is 'savoir'. 'Savoir' can only be used once blood bottle is full and if grandpa is in the stunned state. Once activated grandpa is immediately taken out of this state and back to his original level he was at before being stunned. This ability can be blocked when sneak attacked, barged, and when put into a grapple)

Johnny seen

“Shouldn’t have brought that girl back here..”

“Yer’ lil boyfriend doesn’t seem too happy with that girl. (laughter) Have fun with that later!” (talking about Rae)

“Trackin them down just like you taught me NyNy!...Well you don't gotta be such an ass about it..(Annoyed grumble)

“I guess Nancy's angel can mess up!”

“Get yer head out of the clouds and track em’ already NyNy!”

“Don't go givin me orders when your the reason were in this mess!”

“Yer getting sloppier by the day. Get it together!”

“Can you get that little pet of yer’s to shut it already! All that whinin is gettin annoying y’know!” (talking about Dolly)

“I’m just about ready to rip yer girlfriend's pretty little vocal cords out if she don't QUIT CRYIN!” (talking about Dolly)

“Johnnyyyy can I borrow that girlfriend of yers just for a tiny while…? I promise I won't hurt her. I just wanna have someone to play with.” (talking about Dolly)

“I ain’t buggin' her! What I'm not allowed to leave gifts for Her Majesty no more?!” (talking about Dolly)

Sissy seen

“I hear yer’ one of grandpa's favorites. After me of course…(chuckles)”

“I really love your garden sissy! All those pretty flowers practically make it a bug minefield!”

“Where'd you hear those weird ass songs you keep singing from anyways?”

“Everyone messes up sometimes, don't be too hard on him. Besides that's my job. (Laughter)”

“Cause always is always- Ah-! Damnit sissy, stop gettin’ in my head!”

Nubbins seen

“(Whistle) those traps of yours sure do get the job done don't they?”

“Ain't this fun, ain't this fun! Just like playin tag when we were smaller huh!”

“You've been diggin' at that their graveyard again? (Giggle) Cool! What'd you find?!”

“I like that camera you got! It's real nice ain't it? That girl Johnny brought has some good taste!”

“Quit spitting out nonsense you ain't making any damn sense it's annoying!”

Leatherface/bubba seen

“How you doing buddy! Having fun I see?”

“You must be strong to be able to carry that thing everywhere! My arms get tired from just holding it!”

“Grandpa's gonna be real proud of us ain't he bubs!”

“(Laughter) Don't listen to them bubs! They're just upset you're way cooler than they'll ever be!”

“Keep up the good work bubs! Oh- and let out a holler if you need any help! (Laughter)”

Cook/Drayton seen

“You best quit yelling at me old geezer or I'll have to silence you myself!”

“Carefully now grandpa, wouldn't want you pulling something now would we? (Joined laughter with nubs)”

“You leave bubs alone and focus on yer own damn task like locking up this place for example!”

“Awh you're no fun..”

Nancy seen

“Hey ma! Nice day out ain't it-...(Groans) yes ma'am..”

“Did y'know about him and this girl?”

“Don't get on my ass just because yer little ‘angel’ messed up!”

“Awh, give me a break! They're slippery little bastards, it ain't my fault!”

Hands seen

“You’re real good at racing, I'll give you that!”

“For someone so big like yerself I wouldn't have expected you to use a weapon so…lightweight.”

“This is just gettin annoying! We gotta hurry up and find those damn kids!”

“Taught Johnny everything he knows but couldn't teach him to actually FINISH THE JOB!”

Leslie seen

“Hey les! How's bullet doin? Saw him give chase to that orange haired girl (laughter) she was screaming up a storm!”

“You're doing good les! Keep up the good work and I'm sure Nancy will reward us! Probably. (Laughter)”

“These guys sure do know where to hide…you find any of em’ yet?”

“Try and see if bullet can help sniff these guys out they’re startin to upset grandpa.”

"Glad to see yer havin fun Les!"

Dolly seen

“Did you like that surprise I left on yer bed this mornin? (Laughter) Thought since you didn't like human flesh you could use that rabbit for stew! (laughter)”

“Just cause Johnny likes you don’t mean I haveta.”

“Would you stop cryin already?! I can't concentrate with all that whining!”

“Nancy really don't like you around Johnny, you should be careful around her ‘kay?”

“C’mon cheer up! This could be fun if you try not to think about it so much!”

“You need any help there doll? If you can't finish the job I could always take over y’know.”

“I know we have our ups and downs but try not to let my words stick to ya so much darlin. It ain't nothin personal just how I am y’know?”

Family's responses

Johnny

“Oh quit yer whinin, think I don't already hear complainin enough from the old woman!”

“Shut the hell up and stay outta our business Jolene!”

“Oh are ya? THEN WHY THE HELL HAVEN’T YOU FOUND ANY OF THEM YET!”

“Yer lucky we have these damn kids to catch otherwise I would've been strangling you right now!”

“I’m already on it, maybe you should be more helpful and go check on Grandpa! (frustrated huff) We're gonna need his help..”

“You wanna use that tone with me again girl?!”

“With you hovering around me like an annoying gnat all damn day ain't exactly helpin neither!”

“Can't handle the taste of yer own medicine? (Laughter)”

“You're just as annoyin if not more than she is! Now go find those damn kids instead of complainin!”

“(Laughter) You must be downright insane if you think I'd ever leave her alone with you!”

“Quit buggin Dolly already! I’m tired of her cryin to me because some moron left another dead rabbit on her bed still twitchin!”

Sissy

“(chuckles) oh sweetie it's always good to dream!”

"Well thanks sugar! You know yer always welcomed wherever you feel like it!”

“If i told you i'd haveta kill you sugar! (laughter)”

“That damn brother of yer’s always causin trouble!”

“(Laughs)...”

Nubbins

“(Giggle) t-they're quite nifty h-huh?”

“O-oh i remember them times! (Laughs) you were always c-c-cheatin! S-saying timeout ev-ery time we almost g-gotcha!”

“Loads of p-pretty stuff! How’s about i sh-show you after this is all over?!”

“I-It sure is pretty! Glad i g-grabbed this be-fore johnny c-could!”

“W-W-Well whats got you s-so heated all s-sudden?!”

Drayton

“I outta knock you upside the head with this here broomstick!”

“I may be old but I can still knock some sense into that thick head of yer’s!”

“Don't go throwin orders at me you little brat!”

“Quit messin around with that idiot over there and help us out with grandpa!”

Nancy

“Oh quit tryna make small talk and go help yer brother look for them damn kids ye hear?! And don't call me ‘ma’ you aint a child no more.”

“It ain't none of yer concern Jolene.”

“Do not use that tone of voice with me, young lady!”

“Why haven't you caught a single one of those kids yet Jolene?!”

Dolly

“Y-yes…I umm I appreciate it really! (laughter)”

“Th-that’s okay! You don't havta….”

“(crying) I-I’m sorry! I-I can-can’t help it! (cries harder)”

“O-Okay! Thanks for the heads up….”

“Maybe I should pretend their screamin is one of happiness!...no that's worse.”

“Don’t worry about me Jo, I gotta learn somehow just gotta kill em like my Johnny taught me!”

“I understand Jo, yknow you hollerin at me actually helps a lot!”

(No Les, Hands, or Bubba. One because hands and bubba are both non verbal and two because i wanna see my moots own replies 😋)

Match starts

“Dammit Johnny, what’d you do now?”

“Ma’s not gonna like this…”

“Knew I should've finished that girl off myself…Dammit NyNy..”

Idle/Walking around

“Focus Jolene! Yer better than this!”

“I always haveta help clean up Johnny's mess..(Annoyed grunt)”

“Where the hell is she? Gotta find her before somebody else does…please be okay.”

“Well get em’ aint no doubt bout’ that..”

“Didn’t know we had new playmates! (Laughter)”

“Better pray i ain't the one to find ya’ll (Laughter)”

“Where ya hidin little piggy…I just wanna play!”

Feeding Grandpa

“Things are really startin to get outta hand!”

“Eat, eat ,eat ,eat! (laughter)”

“You wouldn't mind givin us a hand would you gramps?”

“After this is all over I'd really like to show you some of these pretty dragonflies I captured!”

“You havin as much fun watchin these little piggies run aroun’ as we are?”

Victim found hiding

“Awh c’mon, you were just askin to be found! (laughter)”

“You should really pay better attention to yer surroundings. I practically saw you jump in here..”

“Awh whaddya hidin for? The fun’s not over yet! (Laughter)”

“Tag is so borinnn… let's play a new game! How about operation? (Manic laughter)”

“Get yer ass outta there!”

Victim hit

“I’m on yer tail now!”

“Tag you're it!”

“Whats with all the runnin for sugar? Yer’ only making it much more harder on yerself!”

“Things are gettin fun aroun’ here!”

“X marks the spot! (laugher)”

“Better to just give up now!”

Blood trail seen

“Can't hide from me little piggie.. (Giggle)”

“Gave you a headstart and yer still gonna leave a trail for me?”

“Awh someones gettin sloppyyyy. (Laughter)”

“Don't you die on me just yet! We aint done with this little game of ours!"

Victim seen

“Found ya! (Laughter)”

“What are you hidin for? I aint gonna hurt ya!..Much.”

“All this runnin is useless y’know! You’ll only tire yerself out and make it easier for me to getcha!”

“Well who do we have here? (Laughter)”

“Oh, don't runaway sugar! The funs just begun!”

Victim seen escaping

“No no no no NO! (Frustrated growl) Dammit! Ma’s not gonna be happy..”

“Shit. Don’t got time to chase em’ right now…”

“You won't make it far, little piggie…those wounds will slow you down for sure..”

“Lucky bastards…”

Exit interaction

“All fixed up! I know I know I'm amazin. (Talking to herself)”

“That should do it. Nice and secure!”

“What idiot left this off! (annoyed sigh)”

“There, Just like Johnny showed me.”

Encounter start

“Ohhh, looks like someone still has some fight left in em’!”

“Don't underestimate me just cause I’m smaller!”

“Now yer gettin' into the game! (Laughter)”

“Oh, I'm gonna enjoy killin' you!”

“Someones finally bein’ brave huh? (Laughter)”

Lose enemy sub

“C’mon don't go so soon!”

“Now where do you think yer going?”

“Hey, we're not done yet! (Laughter)”

Lose enemy long

“(Annoyed growl) You can't keep runnin forever! I’ll find ya and when I do I'll make sure it hurts!”

“I ain't got time for this runnin aroun! Just give up already and maybe I'll make it quick!”

“You think just because I lost ya yer safe! Oh when I get my hands on you! Yer not leavin this place unless its in a body bag!”

“Go on then! Keep hidin! I don't care! I’ll find every single one of you and leave yer bodies in the cold room for the rats to feast on!”

Victim seen trapped

“Need some help there darlin? (Laughter)”

“Should've watched yer footin there sugar!”

“That things gotcha good huh? (Laughter)”

Use ability blocked

“Now ain't the time.”

“Grandpas fine ain't no reason for me to interfere..”

“Gotta grab more blood, this aint enough for him.”

“Better leave gramps alone for now..”

Use ability

“Get back up gramps we still need yer help!”

“Yer fine just a few scratches now help us!”

“Nobody said you were done yet!”

“The family still needs you gramps! Don't let us down just because of one small lil scratch!”

Use ability successful

“Feelin better? Good, now help us!”

“You vermin have no idea what you've just done!”

“I won't let 'em hurt you again, gramps..”

"I'm sorry grampa I'm real sorry, I shoulda been payin' more attention to ya.."

Use ability denied

“Get off of me you damn parasite!”

“Shit, gramps, I'm sorry.”

“Oh now I'm pissed!”

“Now yer gonna get it!”

Execution

“Look at all that pretty blood!”

“All that runnin and for what? (Laughter)”

“Johnny's gonna be real proud of me!”

“Just go down nice and easy! (Laughter)”

“A shame our little game had to end so early…a real shame..”

Maria seen

“Oh thats it! Im takin care of this myself!”

“That damn liar…No matter, she ain't leavin alive this time..”

“What's the matter? Don't you wanna thank the person who kept you alive this whole time? (Laughter)”

“Get near gramps again and I'll hang yer head on the wall!”

“You stay away from my brother, you hear me! I'll kill you myself!”

“Yer head would be a real nice present for Rae…Hey come back! I was just jokin! I'm not that crazy…! For the most part…(Laughter)”

“You bein here is startin to upset Dolly! Nobody makes her cry unless it's me or Johnny!”

///HOLY CRAP YALL I FINISHED IT😦

[cantdanceflynn]

HERES MY PROPAGANDA RANT TO VOTE FOR AUDREY BC I DONT FEEL UP TO DOING ANYTHING ELSE BUT I CANT LIVE W NOT DOIN ANYTHING

1: SHES SO TIRED. JUST. LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD SEEMS TO MELT AROUND HER, SHE CAN BARELY KEEP HER BEST FRIEND ON HER SIDE, SHE IS LITERALLY FIGHTING THE INEVITABLE END OF THE WORLD, AND YET!! SHE ALWAYS FINDS TIME TO HANG OUT W SOME OF THE KIDS AROUND AND REASSURE THEM, TO KEEP INFIGHTING AT A MINIMUM, TO TRY AND TALK TO PEOPLE AND TEACH THEM HOW TO USE THEIR POWERS. SHE IS THE LIVING DEFINITION OF CHOOSING KINDNESS AS A THIRD, UNMENTIONED PATH, EVEN WHEN NOTHING SEEMS KIND

2: SHES GOT A KICKASS SPIDER HYBRID GF NAMED ARIA AMONGST THE ARMY OF VOID CREATURES AND THEY SEND EACH OTHER CUTE LIL MESSAGES W ONE OF HER SPIDERS AND ALSO AUDREY ENDS UP KINDA DEFECTING TO THE VOID ARMY FOR ARIA(MOSTLY BC THE LEADER OF HER SETTLEMENT GAVE UP BEING "CIVIL" AND STARTED HUNTING DOWN AUDREY(THE LEADERS SON WAS AUDREYS PREVIOUS LIFE AND INSTEAD OF HIS MOM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR BEING PARTIALLY THE CAUSE OF HIS DEATH, BLAMES AUDREY) BUT ALSO BC OF ARIA) AND HAD THIS RLY RESPECTFUL RIVALRY BEFORE THE WHOLE "OH HUH. GUESS WE'D PROBABLY BE BETTER OFF NOT FIGHTING HUH" THING VDJKXCJKCSKHCSHKCSHKCSKH(WHICH, ID WRITTEN OUT YEARS AGO SO ITS WAY BELOW MY USUAL WRITING LEVEL BUT ILL PUT IT UNDER THE CUT AT THE END OF THIS)

3: EACH OF HER PAST LIVES IS A FULL CHARACTER, WITH THEIR OWN INFLUENCES ON HER MENTAL STATE IF SHE CHOOSES TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM!!! HER HISTORY IS THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD ITSELF, AND YET SHE USUALLY REJECTS THIS HISTORY BECAUSE OF THE STATE OF THE WORLD SHES IN. OBVIOUSLY FOLLOWING WHAT THEY DID WONT HELP HER, AND SHE HAS A WHOLE HUGE ARC COMING TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT SHE CANT IGNORE AND HIDE EVERY PART OF HER BECAUSE THATS THE DEFINITION OF HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF!!! (WHICH IS BY ITSELF META OF THE CLASSIC ISSUE W STORIES LIKE THIS, WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER FEELS RELATIVELY STATIC, AND HOW MAYBE JUST ONCE THAT CAN BE THE CHARACTERS BAD CHOICE INSTEAD)

4: SHE HAS SO MANY FRIENDS!!! I MENTIONED WISP ALREADY, BUT SHES FRIENDS WITH A GOOD PORTION OF THE PEOPLE SHE HELPS. FOR EXAMPLE, A NYMPH WITCH IN TRAINING AND A DEER-MAN PAIR OF KIDS WHO ACCIDENTALLY CURSED EACH OTHER AND SHE HAS TO KEEP THEM FROM MAKING IT WORSE WHILE TEACHING THEM HOW TO UNDO CURSES, OR AN ANGEL AND DEMON COUPLE OF TROUBLEMAKERS SHE CAUSES CHAOS AND BREAKS UP MOBS WITH, OR A SMALL GROUP OF SELF PROCLAIMED PIRATES WHO NAVIGATE ABOVE THE VOID!!! THE CAST LITERALLY HAS HUNDREDS OF FULLY FLESHED OUT CHARACTERS WITH THEIR OWN ARCS, AND SHE TENDS TO TRY TO FIND ALLIES EVERYWHERE!!!

5: IN A SIMILAR VEIN, HER FAMILY!! DESPITE BEING VERY DIFFERENT, SHE GETS ALONG WONDERFULLY WITH THEM AND TENDS TO BE VERY AFFECTIONATE WITH HER SIBLINGS, ALTHOUGH SHE DOES HAVE TO KEEP THEM FROM GETTING INTO HER MORE DANGEROUS BUSINESS LOL BUT SHE CARES ABOUT THEM SO MUCH AND REALLY JUST TRIES TO KEEP THEM SAFE

IM TOO TIRED TO WRITE MORE RN IM GONNA PUT THAT WRITING UNDER THE CUT(ONCE AGAIN, OLD AS SHIT, NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF MY WRITING SKILL AND ALSO I WAS BAD AT PARAGRAPH BREAKS)

Audrey jumped behind a wall. What was that? She glanced behind the wall, checking to make sure that she wasn't seeing things, that the adrenaline hadn't gotten to her and it was real. And it was. An eagle hybrid, with lizard patternings and tails, and bat wings too. Tactically, it was a monster, and there would be very few ways to defeat it. She could slice the wings off, grounding it. But that wouldn't do.......... She shook her head. She should not have taken the sword this time. It hadn't even come in handy for the five minutes where she was fighting with.......... Aria! Where was she? Maybe she was her opponent, but she wasn't going to hope she fell to that beast. Or, well...... not a beast. The hybrid was clearly enraged, possibly through injections or some kind of pain stimulator. She stared at the sword in her hand, wondering how one of her previous lives ended up this analytic, before sheathing it. She didn't need the horrible, horrible interjections into her thoughts while hiding from that, and trying to find Aria. Based on her surprise, this hadn't been part of her plan. Which at least said something about her pride. Audrey wasn't sure what, but it said something. 

She stood up, cautiously looking behind her at the hybrid. They were still enraged, and clearly looking for something. Ok. So avoid the hybrid's search while finding Aria and getting some answers about what the heck just happened. She didn't dare run or unfurl her wings, so she stuck to walking around the empty halls, avoiding the banging coming from the arena. In retrospect, the room probably was more of a makeshift arena then she'd realized originally, but she was sticking with the name. As she walked, she kept glancing at the walls. There were little things everywhere, from the surprisingly beautiful art and murals on some of the walls, to the lockers that had been dragged to the walls and leaned against them; decorated with stickers and old christmas lights and the occasional name tag. How had the entire city been convinced that the voided soldiers were unsavable? That their humanity was gone forever? Because here it was. It had so clearly never ever left. 

She kept walking, until she passed a dark room with some level of noise coming from it. She could still hear the hybrid behind her, so this couldn't be it. She considered it being a trap or a trick of some kind for all of a second before she stepped in. Even with her wings folded against her back, they still created a glowing aura around her. Enough that she could at least see most of the room, and the cobwebs that covered the ceiling. And the black legs poking out of the darkness in the corner. And the spiders. And........ This was a cave. Aria lived in a cave. She approached the corner and saw Aria, face covered by her arms, sitting on the floor. From the twitch of her ears, she'd heard Audrey enter the room. Eventually she spoke. 

"I know, Cresa, I know. I couldn't defeat her in time, and you had to release your experiment. Might as well get it over with. Which of my favorite spiders do you want to take this time? Are you gonna return them in one piece this time? Or will they be unrecognizable?" The spite in her voice was lethal, and Aria buried her head deeper. "Sorry. I didn't mean to be so rude. I'm really sorry, I really am." The words were quick, and sounded more recited then genuine. 

Audrey stood there before speaking. "Well, I'm not Cresa, and I don't know who she is. But if you don't want me to, I won't touch any of your spiders." Her voice was cautious, but as genuine as she could make it. She'd had time to cool down. She wasn't going to mock Aria again, especially not like this. Aria's head shot up, and her eyes met Audreys. There were tears in them. Lovely. Audrey had never been the best with emotions, and with the combination of the sword? What the heck was she supposed to do here?

Eventually she sat down next to Aria. She couldn't hear the hybrid anymore, although she wasn't sure if it was because of the humming or that it had just stopped. "So....... does "Cresa" take your spiders and hurt them a lot?" Aria gave her a look. She wasn't sure what it meant, but it was one. "Ok, first of all, I don't fail that often, and it's really rude that you're just assuming that. Second of all, yeah. Experiments of all sorts, from taking them and fusing them too other creatures, to messing with their consciousness, to just straight up killing them. Perks to being able to feel them and their feelings at all times are low." She let out a teary sigh as Audrey just sat there, thinking. "Well, why haven't you left? You don't have anything stopping you, you made it to the rock for the first five or so times we talked. And there are places, small as they are, that the Void can't reach."

Aria glanced at her, and held out a hand. "If you actually care, I could show you?" She started wiping away her tears with her other hand, as Audrey took her outstretched hand. "Of course I care. You're a person, and that means you should be listened to. Not always taken into consideration, but you seem nice enough when you aren't trying to stab or poison me." Aria giggled at that, and pulled Audrey after her. She was surprisingly strong and fast, and Audrey had to unfurl her wings to keep up with her as she ran down the hall, taking a few turns quicker then she could notice them. The route had to be muscle memory at this point. After a few turns, Audrey noticed how Aria was using her extra limbs to push off walls and gain momentum, making her faster then Audrey could be normally at the best of times. She made a mental note to try to do something similar. Eventually she stopped, using her legs to cause friction and slow down, meanwhile Audrey had to force her wings to close to not fly halfway down the hall.

"We're here. Be careful. Don't touch anything, please." Audrey was about to ask why, but as she got her balance back and looked up, it was obviously clear. The room was dark, but in color, not light. Huge carved stones with names, dates, and different statements and honors on each one stood in rows. Different colored gems with black streaks through them were inserted into the top of each stone. "It's your graveyard. Because the bodies are just liquid when voided ones die." Aria nodded and stepped inside, retracting her extra limbs and keeping her other ones at her side. Audrey followed her, doing the same. It was only respectful, and voided or not, it's what they deserved. Aria moved carefully to a specific grave, and touched the gem on the top of it. Audrey followed her, staying quiet. 

"This is our graveyard because, as you said, when a voided dies, it just becomes void. But I'm not a voided. The hybrid wasn't a voided. None of the Luni here are voided. So instead of trinkets and weapons, they get a proper burial. And my mentor wasn't voided either." The gem started glowing, turning the roof of the grave transparent. A body, preserved by flowers and void, with a kind face and a stab wound through her stomach, was underneath it. "Daisy. She was bound to this place. Even if she didn't love what she had to do, she loved this place so much. When she took me under her wing, I promised to stay here. When she died........ from an attack, I was still going to stay. But things got worse. I was considering it for a while. But then I searched a little harder. And found her again. You can come out." 

At Aria's prompt, a bright, sparkly ball of yellow light came out of the stab wound. "She became a spark", Audrey whispered, keeping her voice as quiet as she could. Aria nodded, smiling. "And if I left? She'd never be able to lift me up. She'd fail, and be caught in a loop. And I'd never want that to happen to her. She was my mentor, and made it so I didn't lose my powers. I owe her everything." The spark whirred around faster, clearly happy, before doing something resembling turning to Audrey. A noise that could be vaguely understood as a distorted "blorp" came out of it. Aria giggled, clearly happier now. "This is my........ this is Audrey. Audrey, say hi to Daisy. Daisy, blorp hi to Audrey." The spark complied, as did Audrey, who reached out to touch it. The spark shied away, back into the casket. Aria sighed. "Unless you want to pass out from electrocution, I would refrain from touching it. I had to learn that the hard way."

Audrey pulled her hand back. "So, how are we going to deal with the eagle hybrid? We need to stop them before we can do anything else, or else they're gonna become a problem real quick." Almost as if on cue, the noise grew louder. Much louder. Aria began adding webs to the corners of the room frantically, right as the roof around the doorway collapsed. The hybrid rose from the rubble, and rushed at Audrey, who used her wings to fly above it. Aria had finished the supporting cobwebs, and extended her extra limbs, beginning to move around the room slowly and calculatingly. The hybrid turned to her, and tried to ram her, before Audrey dropped on them as quickly as possible. It plowed into the ground, unlodging an empty grave and a light blue gem. Audrey winced. "Sorry!" Aria shook her head. "It was empty! Don't worry, just focus on getting it out of here!"

Audrey nodded, and flew off it, flying to the collapsed doorway. The hybrid ran at her, charging again. "The same move? Really?" She sprang up, leading it to run right under her. Unlike last time though, it gained its footing, and ran down the hall, using its tail to grab and bring Audrey with it. She brought her wings in to avoid extra pain, and looked behind her. Aria was following her, using her legs like before. Eventually, about halfway through the original route, she caught up, grabbing Audrey's hand and using her legs to create enough friction to pull her out of it. The hybrid realized she was missing soon, and turned back around as she and Aria gained their balance. It stood in front of them, trying to figure out who to attack. Aria went on the offensive. "I know how Cresa does these! There should be something, probably a syringe, around the wings. I'll slow it down, you chop it off. You've got that sword, and that'll easier then hoping to get it out and not knowing if it's still injecting." Audrey nodded, opening her wings and unsheathing her sword.

Ok, it would be easiest to dive under its wings while distracted. She never thought she'd appreciate the tactical thoughts, but here she was. She took off, flying around and waiting for the perfect moment. The hybrid ran at her, and she moved to the side at the last moment, and it hit the wall. Before it could grab her, Aria covered it in thin cobwebs. Audrey dove under its exposed wing, but didn't see anything like a syringe. She flew out and shook her head. "Let it out, and let it ram on its other side." Aria drew back. "I don't think I need to let it out." Audrey looked behind her, only to be rammed into the wall by the hybrid. Her wings protected most of her body, but they took quite a beating. The hybrid fell to the ground, and she managed to fly over it, before falling to the ground. Aria grabbed her sword before she could stop her, chopped off the syringe, and dropped it, shaking her hand and covering it in spiderwebs, before starting to move Audrey. She tried to complain, but then her eyes closed, and everything went black.

She woke up in Aria's room, on a platform of cobwebs. It was even darker in there then the last time, as she got to her feet. She tried to unfurl her wings, make it a little lighter in there, but her wings were bandaged tightly, both with actual bandages, and with cobwebs layered thickly on top of them. She couldn't see anything, but she could feel something in the room. In a second she felt six arms, four of which were sharper then normal, wrapping around her torso in a hug. "Oh thank Void! You're alive and ok! And guess what! Cresa didn't even find you! She would have probably used you in one of her experiments, but she didn't and you're ok!" Audrey was more then a little surprised, and broke the hug quickly. "Sorry. I was just so happy that you were still alive. The only way I even knew you were alive was because you weren't ash yet." It was definitely Aria. And she was way more affectionate then before.

"How long was I passed out for? And why are you so huggy?" Aria was silent for a bit, before speaking. "About twelve hours. I've been up for a while. I think you might need to be going." Audrey gulped and nodded, trying to take the bandages off her wings. Then she felt Aria take them off, unwrapping them carefully. "You had something in a few hours when we fought. I hope it isn't too late now." Audrey sighed, before unfurling them and getting a good look at Aria's face. She had bags under her eyes and was literally shaking. "Aria, did you really not sleep the entire time I was out? You really need to!" Aria shook her head. "Nope. I did not. I was too worried." Audrey sighed. "Why? And, before you answer that, get some sleep. I have to go. Now." The sadness in her voice was unavoidable, and Aria's shoulders slumped. But she listened, staying quiet and laying down on the cobweb platform, probably meant to be a makeshift mattress. Audrey crouched down and ran a wing along her back, before exiting the room.

She flew through the hall, pushing off against the walls to gain momentum, and eventually reached the arena. The hole in the roof was still there. She flew out it quickly, and began heading for the light blue dome on the horizon. Only when she was halfway there did she realize that she'd left her sword behind. And it hadn't been in the hallway. But she shrugged it off. Aria had probably just taken it. Using her cobwebs. Her very flammable cobwebs. Yeah. That was it. Sure. She just had to hope that Wisp wasn't too mad at her.

----------------------------- Back In The Hall ---------------------------

Cresa picked up the sword, her hand turning melty as she held it. Interesting. She knew those runes well. The void would find this very interesting. If she was lucky, it would even spare her from having to dole out punishment to Aria and Ayla and whatever the hybrid was named. She didn't know which one had escaped. But based on how much destruction each had caused, that would be unlikely. At least she could hide Aria's new...... friend from the void. That would be enough to count today a win, if she could achieve that much for her.

ROUND 1, SIDE A, POLL 2

Onya ( @god-mouths ) VS. Audrey June ( @cantdanceflynn )

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( art by god-mouths )

What is your baby's name? Pronouns?: Onya (she/her)

Is your baby from a fandom or original?: started out as a toh but this is an oc baby now :)

How old is your baby?: 8

Tell us about your baby!: Onya lives in a foster home with ~6 other siblings! She as the baby of the family is very pampered by her Ma. she is a very business minded toddler, and can broker a deal with the best of them. Negotiated for a higher wage for her uncle simon (35). loves magic, loves centipedes and bugs.

Anything else you want to add?: she is silly!!!

----

( art from this picrew )

What is your baby's name? Pronouns?: Audrey June, All pronouns but prefers She/Her

Is your baby from a fandom or original?: Completely original

How old is your baby?: 16

Tell us about your baby!: She's a Phoenix, in human(or, in this life, werewolf) form. While she can technically access the memories of her past lives through items that represent their lives, she prefers not to, as she doesn't like them affecting her thoughts. While she technically is disguised as a werewolf(has some traits, although has trouble passing around normal werewolves), she was adopted by a rabbit hybrid couple. And also bc I hadn't mentioned her whole story takes place in a post-apocalyptic world where a void god has taken over 99.99% of the world, aliens basically controlled by the void god rule the areas taken over by the void god, and the rest of humanity, all in small settlements or individuals shielded from the void god, have been with mythical creatures and cryptids and whatnot for so long that basically everyone is a combination of some mythical creatures genes. She has a best friend in a Banshee hybrid(and one of the few rare magic users) named Wisp, even if she had to turn down their romantic advances. She ends up spending most of her time either breaking up fights in her settlement, one of the few big ones left, or tutoring hybrids that are having trouble or in trouble, but she tends to take secret flights and hang out around bowling alleys and arcades to chill out.

Anything else you want to add?: She's basically my oldest oc, having gone through so many changes, but I love her more then anything. She didn't sign up for this, she just wants a good life w her family and friends, but living in the state the world is in means plans don't stay

[realcube]

eyeliner, baby!

♡ timeskip! kyōtani x f!reader

♡ tw fluff, parent! reader, swearing, step-child warms up to step-parent trope, child calls kyōtani ‘kyō-chan’/’dad’ & reader ‘mom’

it had been a long day at work.

you were extra tired, probably because you spent the whole day working extra hard just so you could get off early and surprise your daughter. usually she never gets to see you on weekends because you leave before she wakes up and arrive home after she has fallen asleep, so you couldn’t wait to see the shocked lil’ look on her face when she realises that you’re home early.

kyōtani never works on weekends hence he gets to spend time with his step-daughter on those days, but every night he mentions that (k/n) constantly whines about how she wants to see you more. so you laboured your way through your work hours just so you could spend a little more time with her before she went to bed.

slipping off your coat, you tried to be as quiet as possible as you crept up the stairs towards her bedroom, where you heard two voices chattering away. the door was hanging open slightly, so before you barged in to surprise her, you snuck towards the gap and peered through it.

your heart melted at the sight.

there sat (k/n) on the end of her race-car bed, directly in front was kyōtani kneeling down on the floor so he was level with her. many rings adorning his left hand — yet his wedding ring seemed to glisten the brightest — which he used to manoeuvre the eyeliner pencil on (k/n)’s closed eyelid.

her face was being squished adorably by kyōtani’s grip, presumably so she wouldn’t flinch or move. although, this soon came to an end as your husband finally jerked both of his hands away from her face, humming, “okay, done.”

her lips curled up into a bright smile, outstretching her arms and gesturing for the mirror that sat by kyōtani’s knee and of course, it was in her hands within a split second. her eyes lit up, precious gasps and awes were all (k/n) could muster at the sight of her new look, “woahhh..thanks, kyō-chan!” she squealed, her legs swinging back and forth with excitement. 

“anytime.” kentarō muttered, averting his gaze momentarily so he could rummage through your make-up bag which also sat next to him, “eh? what’s this?” he questioned, pulling out a power highlighter and tilting his head to the side as he inspecting it’s contents. 

“i think it’s eyeshadow!” your little one chirped, and of course kyōtani simply shrugged and believed her. “cool, want some?” he asked, continuing to dig through your make-up bag until he found — what he thought was— an shadow brush, but it was really an unused foundation brush. 

“yeah! but won’t mom be mad that we’re using her make-up?” 

he faltered, blinking rapidly as he took a moment to revaluate his response; on one hand, he clearly didn’t want to lie to (k/n), but on the other he didn’t want her to view him as a horrible role-model that promotes theft and using things without other’s consent. so the most suitable response he could come up with was, “uh, let’s just keep this between you and me, huh?”

with hesitation, (k/n) nodded happily in agreement with her step-father. “okay!” she sung along with the movement of her pinched fingers across her lips, indicating that they were sealed shut. to which kentarō reciprocated with a thumbs-up before flicking open the container, swiping the bristles against the highlighter and wiping them on (k/n) lid. 

“hey, kid, you’re birthday’s coming up, right?” he mused, catching his bottom lip between his teeth and furrowing his brows in concentration as he worked with precision on (k/n)’s skin, careful not to ruin the eyeliner or allow any to fall on her lashes. 

“yup! i’m turning seven.”

“woah, seven, that’s old. you’re gonna have to start doin’ taxes soon enough.”

“what’s ‘taxes’?”

kyōtani chuckled, retracting the brush from her eye to move onto her second one, “don’t worry about it. anyway, i was wondering if you wanted--” he cut himself off when he heard snickering from the hallway. under any other circumstance, he would’ve gotten defensive and stormed out there to beat up the fucker in his house; but he recognised that laugh all too well. 

“(y/n)?” he called out, his lips dropping into an unamused frown as you poked your head out from around the door with an animated ‘hi!’ which  prompted cheers from (k/n) as she darted towards you, burying her caked face in the leg of your trousers as she gushed on about how much she missed you. 

“you’re back early?” they both said in unison with varying levels of enthusiasm. 

you nodded, patting her head and trying to pry her off your new outfit which she was smearing her make-up on, “yep, but it seems as though you were having enough fun without me.” you giggled, scooping (k/n) into your arms and shooting kyōtani a warm smile, “with my make-up.”

he simply rolled his eyes, trying his best to resist the smile tugging on the corner of his lips, “would you rather i ‘ave went out and bought her make-up of her own then?” resulting in (k/n) nodding rapidly while you blew a raspberry onto her cheek to make her stop. 

“we had so much fun!” (k/n) chirped, swinging her legs to be let down before skipping over to kyōtani, tackling him in a brief and unexpected hug, “i did my maths homework then we went out for ice-cream! and i got my make-up done!” 

you nodded, hand hovering over your mouth to hide your amused smirk at kyōtani’s dumbfounded look in contrast to your angel’s precious beam, “that sounds like quite the treat. did you say thank you?” 

she hesitated, recalling saying thanks for the ice-cream but deciding on doing it once more in front of you. spinning on heels, she launched forwards to wrap him in yet another hug, “thanks, dad!” she bubbled, inadvertently smudging her make-up even further on his shoulder, not that he minded. 

now you were both utterly astonished, staring at each other with wide eyes while (k/n) innocently raved on about how great her day was, with her chin hooked over her father’s shoulder. 

[tobesolonely]

it’s not christmas ‘til you come home

a/n: hello!! please enjoy this piece from my dad!harry universe! (u dont have to read any of them for it to make sense, but it would be cool if u did! loosely based on it’s not christmas ‘til you come home by norah jones <3 hope you enjoy! thank u to @harryysstyless​ for beta reading for me!! happy holidays everyone :)

warnings: SMUT, a bit of angst <3 word count: ~5.1k 

my ko-fi! thank you :)

December 23rd, 2:00 PM

For as long as you and Harry have been in a relationship, you’ve never not spent a Christmas together. 

Before expanding your family, you and he used to hop from party to party every Christmas Eve. Both of you would be absolutely trashed by the time Harry’s driver would drop you off at his house in the early hours of the morning. You’d sleep in until approximately noon, willing your hangovers to go away before finally making it down the stairs and into the kitchen to prepare two steaming cups of coffee. The two of you would then make your way into the living room and exchange gifts (where Harry always went way over the budget you’d set). 

Once you had your first child, Allison, your yearly tradition of party hopping and getting so drunk you could hardly put one foot in front of the other was no more. Instead, you and Harry opted for calm nights in, watching Christmas movies and drinking hot cocoa until she eventually grew tired and got carried up to bed. You would wait an hour or so before springing into action, playing Santa and setting out all of the gifts she asked for and then some. Harry never forgot to take a big bite out of the cookie and carrot left out for Santa and his reindeer.

This tradition stayed the same once your second baby, Oliver, was born. Even though he was too young to know what was going on, Harry was still excited to spoil him rotten this year as it was his first Christmas. However, given the current state of the world, you were afraid Harry would not be here for the first time ever.

“Mumma, when’s daddy coming home?” your six-year-old, Ally, asked for what had to be the seventh time that afternoon. “I made him a drawing for his gift ‘nd I can’t wait for him to see it!”

“Let me see what you drew for Daddy, love bug,” you say cheerily, purposefully glossing over her question. Ally proudly holds her drawing up next to her face. She looks up at you with wide eyes, awaiting a compliment from you. 

“That’s gorgeous, bug! Daddy’s gonna love it,” you inform her. “Maybe you can stick a lil’ bow on it and set it under the tree for him, hmm?” 

“Good idea, Mumma!” Ally runs to the box where you kept all the supplies for gift wrapping, digging around for a pink bow to stick on the corner of her drawing.

While she’s preoccupied with finding the perfect bow to place on her drawing for Harry, you take a quick glance at your phone. He still hadn’t gotten back to you since last night’s quick conversation when he very briefly mentioned he didn’t know if he’d be able to make it home.

He was filming in Los Angeles. You shared your uncertainties about him going before he departed but in the end, this was an opportunity you didn’t want him to miss out on. You read the Los Angeles Times free articles on your phone daily, keeping track of the state of the pandemic in Southern California. You knew it was much worse there than it was at home in London. You feared what you were afraid of was sadly bound to happen— Harry may get stuck in LA.

You didn’t want to say anything to your curious daughter because communication with him had been so sparse. You didn’t know anything for certain yet. But what were you supposed to think? You knew flying nationally wasn’t a good idea at the moment, never mind internationally.

“Hey bug, d’ya think you can watch your brother for a moment? Mumma’s gotta go make a phone call.” 

You hear your daughter let out a slightly irritated sigh. “I suppose I can, Mumma.” Ally responds with a voice laced with exasperation. You chuckle slightly under your breath at your overly dramatic (much like her dad) six-year-old and head into the kitchen, quickly dialing your husband’s familiar number.

“Hello?” 

You let out a sigh of relief upon hearing Harry’s low, hoarse voice. 

“Hi, honey. Just checkin’ in to see how things are going…” you hear shuffling on his end. “It’s December 23rd, you know.”

“I know, love.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Six in tha’ mornin’ here.”

“I’m sorry, H. S’just Allison keeps on askin’ when you’ll be home and ‘m just so worried you won’t make it home on time and you’ll miss Oliver’s first Christmas—“

“Darling,” Harry interrupts your anxiety-fueled ramble. “‘M gonna make it home. Have I ever not been there when I said I would?” 

“No,” you say quietly. “I’m just worried, Harry. I hear traveling is going to get very strict because they’re trying to prevent people from going anywhere for Christmas…”

“Fine, then I’ll get my own plane with jus’ me and a pilot. Wear a mask the entire time and whatnot. Yanno I can make that happen if it’s necessary, pet.” 

Harry’s calm demeanor about the whole situation brings you a bit of peace. Perhaps you were catastrophizing something that wasn’t as big of a deal as you thought it was a mere two minutes ago. If he wasn’t worried about not making it home, you didn’t see any reason to stress about it— not for one second longer.

“Okay then,” you reply, still a bit wary of his travel plans. “What shall I tell your daughter? She’s drivin’ me up the walls asking where you are every twenty minutes.”

Your husband lets out a breathy laugh, causing you to giggle along with him. “Tell her not to eat up all the Christmas cookies before I get a taste of one.”

December 24th, 8:45 AM

Part of you was hoping you’d wake up on Christmas Eve and Harry would be tucked into bed next to you, plump lips parted, the sound of his snores the only noise in the room. However, you were a rational woman, if nothing else. You knew he wouldn’t be by your side when you woke up. 

You make your way down the hall and peek inside your son’s room. He was fast asleep, plump thumb in his mouth. You smile at your sleeping baby and gently close the door behind you, deciding to let him sleep in a bit longer before waking him up to feed him. 

Next, you walk to your daughter's room, gently pushing open the door in case she was still sleeping. Instead, you find her sat at her desk, deeply focused on what appeared to be another drawing. 

“Good morning, lovebug,” you greet your daughter in a sing-songy voice. “You’re up early. What are you working on?”

“Makin’ a letter for Santa,” she replies, not bothering to look up from what she was doing. 

“A letter for Santa?” You start racking your brain for anything you and Harry could’ve possibly forgotten to get for Ally, but you finished your Christmas shopping for your children way back in November.

“Yes,” she answers matter-of-factly. “‘M askin’ him to make sure my Daddy is home by tonight so we can eat cookies together and watch Toy Story, Mumma.” 

“I’m sure Santa will make that happen for you,” you reassure her. “You’ve been a very good girl this year, been so helpful with Olly and doin’ so well in school. The least Santa can do is get you whatever you want.” You see her smile as she digs around in her crayon box.

“Can we wait ‘til Daddy gets home to make Santa’s cookies, Mumma?”

“Sure we can, bug,” Ally claps her hands together excitedly, bouncing around in her tiny chair. “Gonna go make some pancakes, does that sound yummy?”

“Can we have chocolate chip pancakes please?”

“Are you askin’ me that because your dad isn’t here to throw a fit about it?” You give her a knowing smile, causing her to giggle.

“Maaaaybe…” Your daughter turns to face you, swinging her legs back and forth.

“If I make your chocolate chip pancakes, you can’t tell your dad. Deal?” You hold up your pinky. Ally gets up and runs to you and you bend down slightly so she can link her finger with yours.

“I pinky promise, Mumma!”

“Our little secret, yeah?” she nods. “Keep an ear out for your brother for me, bug. I’ll be downstairs.”

December 24th, 3:00 PM

“Love? ‘M afraid I got some bad news...”

As soon as Harry’s voice comes through on the other line, you can tell whatever news he’s about to share with you won’t be what you’re wanting to hear.

“What is it?”

It’s silent for what feels like entirely too long. You get up from your position on the couch next to Ally, telling her you’ll be right back. After breakfast, she convinced you to watch Toy Story with her, which quickly turned into a whole Disney movie marathon.

“Not so sure I’ll be able to make it home.”

You’re not sure if it’s his calm tone that bothers you, the fact that you didn’t want him to go to Los Angeles in the first place, or simply the fact that you and your children missed him terribly and haven’t seen him in nearly a month–– but your mood changes from relaxed to undeniably outraged in three seconds flat.

“You’re kidding.” Your tone is sharp, venomous. Harry once again takes a moment before responding, knowing that the current tone of your voice means he’d best proceed with caution.

“‘M not, love. I woke up early and everything to try and get this sorted out, it’s 7 AM so I was gonna try and catch an early flight––”

“I told you I didn’t want you going to LA,” you cut him off, voice rising slightly. “You knew how bad the pandemic was getting there. I told you this would happen.”

“What do you suppose I do then, Y/N?” His tone is becoming equally as sharp. “Y’want me to tell ‘em, “Sorry, I don’t give a fuck about the travel restrictions. My wife wants me home so let's make it happen!” ‘S that what you want me to do?”

“Don’t be a smartass, Harry,” you spit. “I’ll give the phone to your daughter and you can tell her you won’t be home in time for Christmas, then.”

“Y/N…” his tone is calm again. Fearful. “Don’t make me do that.”

“She woke up early to write a letter to Santa to tell him she wants you home by tonight, Harry,” your tone softens as well. “Even Olly has been asking for you. Swear his new favorite word is ‘dada’.” He laughs at this as do you, and the shared tension that was present just minutes ago dissipates. 

“Just… lemme try a few more things before I tell her, yeah?”

“Harry, it’s already three here,” you gently remind him. “Even if you do make it home today, she’ll be asleep by the time you’re home. I think you just need to tell her.”

Your husband sighs, knowing you were undeniably correct. “Alright. Give Allison the phone, please.”

December 24th, 8 PM

“Almost time for you to head to bed soon, yeah Allybug?” Your daughter lets out a loud sigh in response, not shifting her gaze from the television to you. Ever since Harry told her he wouldn’t be home in time to eat cookies with her, she’s hardly said a word. She’s never experienced a Christmas Eve without her father so understandably, she was missing him tonight.

You shift Olly, who was falling asleep nursing on your lap, into a different position so you could face your daughter directly. From your new position, you can see just how tired she looks. 

“‘M not sleepy, Mumma. Gonna stay up and wait for Daddy,” she informs you of her new plans. “When Daddy is home that’s when it’s time for bed.”

“Ally, remember what Daddy told you on the phone earlier? Santa won’t come unless you go to sleep.”

“I don’t wanna sleep,” she’s quickly starting to grow upset. “Not until Daddy tucks me in!”

You purse your lips, not wanting to argue with your headstrong daughter when your son was so close to drifting off into his nightly milk coma. Turning your attention back to the movie that was quietly playing on the television, you decide to drop it for now and try again later.

December 24th, 9:05 PM

Not more than an hour later, Olly is upstairs in his crib fast asleep whilst Ally is still laying on the floor in front of the Christmas tree, fighting sleep. She was determined to stay up until her father walked through the front door, and you knew getting her to agree to go to bed was going to be a battle and a half.

“You’re not ready to go to bed yet, Ally?” Her eyes fly open once she hears you addressing her.

“Not yet, Mumma. ‘M not sleepy yet.” Her words are a little slurred due to the exhausted state she was in. You hum in response.

“Could’ve sworn your eyes just shut for a minute there,” you pause for a second to see if she’ll look your way. “Must’ve just been my old lady eyes playin’ tricks on me, y’think?”

“I wasn’t sleeping!” She immediately defends herself, frown lines indenting her forehead. “Can we drink more hot chocolate?”

You knew if you wanted your daughter to fall asleep within the hour, another sugar rush wasn’t the best idea. You instead offer her a hot cup of sleepytime tea and she excitedly agrees once you tell her it’s her father’s favorite type of tea to drink at bedtime. You place her down on the kitchen counter while you fill the kettle and wait for it to whistle.

“What are you looking forward to the most from Santa, bug?” 

Her eyes light up at your question. “Well, I really want a new bike! ‘Member Mumma? How I asked him for a pink bike? And I also want a cool swing set! Since we haven’t been able to go to the park in so long,” her smile falters and she looks down at her dangling feet. “I want Daddy to come home the mostest, though.”

Your heart feels like it’s going to break in two upon hearing your daughter admit that Harry being home would be the greatest gift of all. “So do I, lovebug. He’ll be here in the mornin’ to watch you and your brother open all the gifts Santa got you though, don’t you worry.”

For everyone’s sake, you hoped that was true.

December 24th, 11:50 PM

Sleep wasn’t coming easy. 

You finally got your daughter to bed at around ten o’clock and waited thirty minutes before laying out your children’s gifts. It took much longer than it usually did considering you had to do it all on your own. Harry was usually the one to quickly assemble the larger toys while you laid everything out around the living room. 

Despite it taking longer than desired, you were proud that you got it all done without waking your children up. Consequently, that meant you were now left all alone with your thoughts considering you had no more tasks to occupy yourself with. 

You kept contemplating calling Harry, but you weren’t sure if he was busy on set or not. Surely he was immersing himself in work to distract himself from the fact he would not be spending Christmas with his family. 

Deciding you may need a cup of the sleepytime tea you offered Allison earlier, you quietly get out of bed and open your door, sock-clad feet padding softly against the wooden floors. It’s unnervingly silent in your home–– the tea kettle coming to a boil being the only source of noise. You keep unlocking and re-locking your phone, finally deciding to call your husband to see how he’s spending his day. It goes to automatic voicemail.

You assume the reason for this must be that he’s busy filming on set and set your phone down with a sigh, standing on your tiptoes to retrieve a mug from the cabinet. You mutter a slew of curse words under your breath intended for Harry who always puts the mugs up far too high even though you tell him not to.

Right as you begin pouring the now boiling water into your teacup, the faint jingling of your front door causes you to startle so badly that you nearly drop the kettle on the ground. You try to think back to everything Harry ever told you to do in the event of an intruder but your mind goes blank from fright. Deciding to use the scalding water as your weapon, you slowly creep towards the door, your only plan being to fling the water on whoever it was as soon as they got the door open. As soon as you hear the lock click, you flick the lid open that covers the spout and draw your arm back.

“Shit––”

“Harry?”

Your husband jumps slightly, his eyes blinking rapidly in an effort to adjust to the dark living room. You reach beside him and quickly turn on the light, shakily letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. He looks exhausted, his hair is an absolute mess, and his eyes are red from sleep deprivation–– but he’s home. You set the tea kettle down on the coffee table and fling yourself into his arms, breathing in the scent of the man you haven’t seen in a month. He drops his bags at his feet so he can properly embrace you, pulling you into him.

“Merry Christmas, darling,” he presses a kiss to the top of your head and stays like that for a moment saying nothing, just breathing you in. “Missed ya so fuckin’ much.

“How? I thought…” you trail off. “You said that they said…”

Harry laughs quietly. “Remember what I told ya? I said to ‘em, ‘Don’t give a fuck about your travel restrictions! M’wife wants me home.’” You laugh at him, knowing he was far too kind to talk to anyone that way. 

“Yeah, okay,” you reply sarcastically. You pull him in for another hug, placing wet kisses along his jawline. “I’m so happy you’re home. The kids are gonna be over the moon, especially Allison.” Harry hums, surveying the room.

“Looks like you did a good job in here, Mrs. Claus. See ya even assembled some toys all by yourself,” he quirks an eyebrow. “Were you jus’ pretendin’ not to know how to do it all these years so I’d be stuck with all the hard labor?”

“Maybe.”

He pulls you back into him, tickling your sides. “My sneaky girl,” he bends down so his lips are level with your neck and sucks gently, causing you to let out a quiet moan. You see his eyes land on the tea kettle that was sitting forgotten on the coffee table. “Making a cuppa? Can I have one? ‘M freezin’.”

“I can think of something else we can do to get you warmed up,” you reach for his hands, interlocking his fingers with yours. “If you know what I’m gettin’ at.”

“Hmm…” Harry releases one of his hands from your grip and taps at his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “Not too sure I can say I know what you’re sayin’. Maybe you should just tell me?”

You frown. “You’re really gonna make me say it, huh?”

“Y’know I’d give you the entire world if you asked me for it. All you gotta do is tell me what you want from me and it’s yours–– ‘m sure you’ve known that since the first day we met, though.” Harry takes a step back, crossing his arms across his chest. Even in his thick winter coat, you can see the way his biceps flex, and it makes you even more feral for him.

“Fine,” you say quietly, feeling yourself start to grow shy under his intense gaze. “I’m kinda... in the mood.” You say it so softly that it would most likely be inaudible to Harry if he wasn’t standing mere inches away from you. Harry throws his head back in laughter and you quickly shush him, not wanting any of your children to wake up.

“In the mood? C’mon, pet,” he uncrosses his arms and reaches for one of your hands. “Tha’s not tellin’ me what you want from me. Tell me exactly what you want, lovie.”

“You know what I want, H,” you tell him with a hint of annoyance in your voice. “It’s been a month. Yanno I want you to fuck me, why are you makin’ me say it?”

Harry gives you a shit-eating grin. “You jus’ said it. I didn’t make you say anything.”

You roll your eyes at his immaturity, already in the process of lifting your nightshirt (one of his old t-shirts that’s become just a little too tight on him) over your head. “Are we gonna get to it or not? Because if not, I’ll just go back to makin’ myself some tea and call it a night––”

Harry takes half a step towards you and reaches up to cup your face, colliding his lips with yours. His lips are a little chapped and taste of his favorite rose lip balm. You feel your body relaxing into the kiss, knees going weak as he walks you back onto the couch.

“You’ve been eatin’ up all the sugar cookies, haven’t you? Can taste it on ya. Thought those were for Santa,” he’s pulled away from you to examine your face. “A bit naughty of you, wouldn’t ya say?”

“Please stop referring to yourself as Santa when we’re about to have sex, Harry.”

“You’re not bein’ very kind to the person that’s about to go down on you, are you?” He sucks harshly on the valley between your breasts, wanting to be sure a deep-colored bruise will appear on your skin later. “That’s okay. It is Christmas, after all. ‘M in a giving mood.”

“Stop talking and get to it then.”

Harry slides off the couch and onto his knees in between your legs, gently kissing your thighs. “Cute pair of undies–– s’like you knew I was comin’ home tonight.” Before you can respond Harry’s fingers are tugging at the waistband of your underwear, eager to get them off of you. He presses light kisses to your core, mumbling about how much he missed the smell of you and how sweet you tasted. 

One hand is resting across your stomach while the other one is in between your folds, spreading you open. You try squeezing your thighs around his head, overwhelmed by the feeling of your husband’s lips around your clit after being away from him for so long, but he removes his hand from your stomach and pushes your thighs back apart.

“Feels so good,” you’re breathless, tangling your fingers in Harry’s hair as his hollowed cheeks begin to suck more roughly on your clit. “Missed you so much. Missed this–– us.” 

Harry pauses momentarily to look up at you. “I know, angel. God, do I know.” He attaches his lips back on you, swirling his tongue around your clit as you  choke back your moans. The hand that is holding you open moves down to toy at your slit as he wordlessly checks to see if you’re okay with his fingers being in you. 

“Please,” you say softly, encouraging his next move. He spits on his index and pointer finger before slowly sliding both of them in you, immediately curling them up. “Oh, Harry. Fuckin’ love when you do tha’...”

“Know you do,” His response is curt, simple. He’s focused on the task at hand–– getting you off. He uses the hand that’s lying across your stomach to rub tight circles on your clit, sensing you’re nearing your orgasm from the way you’re starting to clench around him. “Such a good girl fo’ me, darlin’. Gonna make a mess on my fingers in a second, aren’t you?”

You nod as you try to control your breathing and the loudness of your moans. The last thing you wanted was for your daughter to come down to inspect the source of the noise. “Fuck, Harry.” 

“Come on, darlin’,” he gently pinches your clit, causing your body to jolt at the sensation. “Gimme a good one. A lil’ welcome back gift for me, hmm?” 

Your hips are bucking up to the rhythm of his fingers slipping in and out of you as your orgasm quickly approaches. “Har, I’m close…” it comes out sounding more like a warning than a statement. He moves the two fingers he has inside of you in a back and forth motion, coaxing your first orgasm out of you.

“Tha’s my girl,” he whispers, not stopping his movements even as your back arches as your first orgasm rolls over you like a giant wave. “Givin’ me a good one jus’ like I knew you would. Jus’ like you always do. M’ sweet girl.” As you’re starting to still, Harry pulls his fingers out of you and holds them up to your mouth, instructing you to suck them clean. 

You prop yourself up on your elbows so you can properly lean in to steal a kiss from him and notice a rather sizable tent has formed in his pants. Harry gives you a sheepish grin as he palms himself, hissing from the feel of his palm against his cock.

“Want me to do somethin’ about that?” You scoot over on the couch and pat the spot next to you, signaling for your husband to sit beside you. He lifts himself from his seated position, stretching his legs out a bit before plopping down beside you.

“Are you offerin’ me a blowie?”

“I mean, yeah?”

“Can we skip that an’ you can jus’ ride me instead? Think I’d quite like that.”

“Oh you would, would ya?”

Harry nods and unzips his pants, taking himself out. He licks his hand and gives himself a few pumps. “Still on birth control, I’m assuming?”

You roll your eyes as you move to straddle him. “Only been gone for a month, Harry. Of course ‘m still on it, you goof.”

“Can never be too careful. I don’t think now’s a good time for another lil’ one, do you? Think we should at least celebrate Oliver’s first birthday before we try for another one.” His hands are on his hips as he lines you up over his cock, helping you slowly sink down. You missed the burn of him which was even more intense than it usually was considering it’s been a while since he’s taken you.

“I think you’re right,” you reply. You rest your head on his shoulder while you adjust to the size of him, needing to take a moment to yourself before attempting to move. After a short adjustment period you begin rolling your hips, grinding against him in a way that was also bringing pleasure to your clit, still swollen and sensitive from your last orgasm.

Harry’s eyes are fixated on the way your breasts bounce in front of him, the way your stomach slightly jiggles each time you crash back down onto him. His lips are caught in between his teeth; you’re hoping he doesn’t break any skin so you don’t have to hear him whine about how badly the bruise hurts him later.

“Ridin’ me like your life depends on it,” Harry mutters. “Fuckin’ love takin’ you like this, angel. So fuckin’ deep.”

You simply hum in agreement, brain far too foggy to form a coherent sentence. Harry notices your movements starting to become smaller, lazier, so he puts his hands on your hips and decides to take over. He’s thrusting up into you like you’ll up and run away from him if he doesn’t give it his all. He cups your face with one hand and gently guides you towards him, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your lips.

“Fuck, H,” your eyes are squeezed shut and your wrap your arms around his neck, feeling your second orgasm quickly approaching. “Rub my clit please, almost there.”

Harry’s fingers immediately come down to rub at your slick nub, not faltering his relentless pace in the slightest. “Clench around me again, lovie,” his voice is higher than usual, whiny, and you know your husband is just as close as you are. “Love when you do tha’, jus’ need you to do it one more time.”

You do as he wishes once more, knowing once he cums you’ll be directly behind him. Harry lets out a string of expletives as he releases inside of you, pulling you tightly against his chest as he rides out his orgasm. You continue riding him, not slowly down as you chase your own release next.

“Harry,” you’re in a trance-like state, chanting his name over and over as you bring yourself over the edge. “Harry, fuck!”

“That’s my good girl,” he says quietly, rubbing your back as you rest your head on his shoulder while you catch your breath. You feel him beginning to soften inside of you so you lift yourself off and lay back on the couch, legs still shaking. It’s quiet for a couple of minutes as the two of you reveal in the afterglow of your orgasms, Harry gently running his fingers along your leg.

“Round two in the shower?”

December 25th, 6:42 AM

“Mumma! Santa came and he left lots of toys–– Daddy?”

Harry lets out a dramatic “oof!” as Ally jumps onto him, pulling the covers back. Her eyes are wide and she giggles are Harry pulls her into one of his infamous bear hugs, placing kisses all over his face.

“Mornin’, love bug! What’re you doin’ up so early?”

“It’s Christmas, Daddy! Santa came!” she sits back on her feet, a confused look on her face. “Did Santa bring you on his sleigh last night after me ‘n Olly went to bed?”

“Y’know what? He told me to keep it a secret, but he did,” Allison gasps in response to his news as she processes it, placing a little hand over her mouth. Harry sits up and gets out of bed, scooping her up in the process. “How ‘bout we go make Mum a cuppa before we see what Santa got for you and Olly? Tha’ sound good? Let’s let them sleep for a while longer, hmm?”

As you hear them exit the room you take a second to reflect on how lucky you are to spend another Christmas with you beautiful family before drifting back off into a deep, albeit short, sleep.

[thelastspeecher]

Trouble in Paradise

Yes, even more Marriage of Convenience AU content!  This time, Ford’s lovely wife finally makes an appearance!

Once again, thank you to the folks on the Discord who have been helping me with the development of this AU, y’all rock something fierce.  c:

——————————————————————————————

              The front door opened.

              “What are we doin’ fer dinner?” a woman asked as she stepped inside.  She looked over.  Her mouth fell open in a small “o”.  “I get the feelin’ that ain’t the question I should be askin’,” she said slowly.  Stan raised an eyebrow at her thick southern accent. Orion and Iris, who had been playing with Stan and Ford on the floor, both got to their feet and toddled to the woman.

              “Mama!” Iris squealed happily.  The woman crouched down to embrace Orion and Iris.

              “Hello, my babies,” she cooed, stroking their hair. “Did yer Daddy take good care of you today?”

              “No, their Uncle Stan did,” Ford corrected tartly. The woman looked up, confused. “You mistook my twin for me and sent him to our home.”

              “I…”

              “Angie, do you have any clue how dangerous that is?” Ford demanded, getting up and stomping over to his wife.  Orion and Iris scampered to Stan as Angie straightened. “You sent a stranger here. Where our children were.”

              “Clearly, he’s not a stranger, if he’s yer twin,” Angie snapped.

              “He’s a stranger to you!”

              “It worked out, didn’t it?”

              “I know you’re smarter than this!  You have to understand why your actions were foolish!”

              “You were home, right?  It was fine!”

              “No, I wasn’t home!”

              “You-”

              “I had to work today.”

              “You were still sleeping when I left.  I thought that meant-”

              “Oh, god forbid I sleep in on the one day I don’t teach until the afternoon!” Ford shouted, throwing his arms up in the air. “It’s not like I stayed up late grading papers or anything!”

              “Forgive me fer assumin’ that ya wouldn’t leave our children home alone!” Angie screamed.  Stan grimaced, growing increasingly uncomfortable.

              “You didn’t check with me before you left to make sure I was watching the kids!”

              “I thought you wanted yer sleep!” Angie shouted. Orion and Iris buried their faces in Stan’s shirt, whimpering.

              Okay, that’s enough.

              “Both of you, shut the hell up,” Stan hissed fiercely.  Ford and Angie glared at him.  “Unless you wanna keep fighting in front of your kids.”  Ford’s face went slack.  Angie covered her mouth in horror.

              “Oh, no,” she whispered.  “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to.”  She walked over to Stan and knelt next to him.  “Sweeties, it’s okay.”  Iris let go of Stan to latch onto her mother.  “I’m sorry Mama and Daddy were loud ‘n angry.  It’s okay, it’s okay.”  Ford crouched next to Stan as well and held out his arms.  Orion toddled over to him.  Ford embraced his son tightly.

              “It’s okay, Orion.  Everything’s fine,” Ford whispered.  He kissed the top of Orion’s head.

              “I can’t believe we fought in front of the kids,” Angie said in a quavering voice.

              “They’ll be fine.  Kids are pretty tough,” Stan said with a shrug.  Angie sat down and looked at him.  Her eyes were a bright blue, just like Orion’s.

              “I take it yer my brother-in-law.”

              “Yep.  Name’s Stan.”

              “I’m aware.”  Angie looked at Ford.  “Stanford told me ‘bout ya a few times ‘fore ya ran away.”

              “And your name’s Angie, right?”

              “Correct,” Angie said with a nod.  Her caramel-colored hair, cut into a short bob, danced from the movement.  Like Ford, she was dressed professionally, wearing slacks, a blouse, and a cardigan. “Thank you fer watchin’ our children today.”

              “Not a problem.  I like kids.  Always have.” Stan grinned at Angie.  “By the way, no offense to Ford, but you’re way outta his league.”  Ford sighed. Angie blinked in surprise.  A faint flush spread across her cheeks.

              “Ah, uh, thank you?” she stammered.

              “Stanley, please don’t hit on my wife,” Ford said wearily.

              “Fine.”  Stan looked at Orion and Iris, then at Angie.  Both the children had inherited Ford’s thick, ruddy nose, rather than Angie’s long, thin one.  “Maybe your third kid will have your nose, Angie.”  Angie’s eyes widened.  She glared at Ford, who held his hands up defensively.

              “I didn’t say anything, Angie, Stanley just likes to tease me.”

              “Hmph.”  Angie carefully deposited Iris in Stan’s lap and stood.  She brushed off her slacks.  “I reckon Stanford didn’t make dinner.”

              “I was busy catching up with my long-lost twin.”

              “I see.”  Angie sighed.  “I’ll try to whip somethin’ up.  In the meantime, Stanley, I’d like to repay ya fer watchin’ the kids today.”

              “When I was checking out the place, I saw a guest room,” Stan said idly.  “It’s got a nice, big bed.”  Angie managed a small smile.

              “Would ya care to stay the night?” she asked.

              “Well, since you offered, I can’t exactly turn it down,” Stan replied.  Angie laughed, a sound that made Stan’s stomach somersault.

              “I like yer sense of humor.”  She walked away.  In a few moments, the clattering of pots and pans sounded.

              “Yeah,” Stan said.  He looked at Ford.  “You really married up, Sixer.  She’s too good for you.”  He expected Ford to respond with bluster and frustration, but to his surprise, Ford merely sighed.

              “Yes,” he said softly.  “She is.”

-----

              “Yeesh.”  Stan grimaced at the apple juice that had spilled all over Orion.  “Guess the lid wasn’t on tight enough, huh?”  Orion giggled.  “Hey, Ford?”

              “Yes?” Ford called from the kitchen where he was making dinner.

              “Orion spilled his juice on him, so I’m gonna change his clothes.”

              “Okay, but be sure to use clothes from the dresser by his crib, not the one by Iris’s.”

              “You got it.”  Stan picked his nephew up and brought him down the hall.  It was his fourth day at Ford and Angie’s, and he was already considering just moving in.  He liked the consistency of things.  Ford and Angie woke up, took care of the kids, then went to work, leaving Stan to watch the kids.  In the evening, they had dinner, put the kids in bed, and then went to bed themselves.

              Having a proper roof over my head is pretty nice, too. I’ve been living in the Stanleymobile for way too long.  Stan pushed open the door to the nursery.  He set Orion on the floor and went to the dresser Ford had told him to use.

              “And…nothing,” Stan muttered after he had pulled open every drawer, only to find it completely empty.  “Hmm.”  Stan looked at Orion.  “It’s too cold to let you walk around in your diaper.”  He crouched down and winked at his nephew.  “I’ll get you one of your sister’s things, okay?  Don’t tell your Dada.”  Orion giggled and stuck his fist into his mouth.

              Stan grabbed a soft onesie from Iris’s dresser and brought it over to Orion.

              “Don’t fight me on this,” he instructed his nephew. He removed Orion’s onesie and carefully zipped on the fresh one.  “There! All done!”  Orion fussed loudly.  “What’s wrong?”  Orion began to wail at the top of his lungs.

              Shit!

              “Aw, it’s okay, Orion, it’s okay,” Stan said in a soothing tone, holding Orion close.  Orion thrashed in his arms, continuing to cry.  “C’mon, kid.”

              “No!  No!” Orion screamed.  He squirmed desperately.  “No!”

              “Hey, hey, you don’t gotta be so upset!”

              “No!”

              “Stanley, what in the world is going on?”  Stan spun around.  Ford stood in the doorway of the nursery.

              “I put him in new clothes and he lost his mind.”

              “Did you dress him in clothes from his dresser?”

              “No, but-”

              “Damn you, Stanley,” Ford hissed, snatching Orion from him.  Ford quickly unzipped the onesie, pulled it off Orion, and threw it onto the floor. “It’s okay, Orion.”  Ford gently rocked Orion until his sobs quieted to hiccups. “He can’t wear his sister’s clothes,” Ford whispered.

              “Why?  He’s not exactly macho.”

              “It has nothing to do with gender, it has to do with tactile sensitivity.”

              “Huh?”

              “Orion is extremely sensitive to certain fabrics. He can only wear clothing made of certain material.  Even then, he has to be awake.  He won’t fall asleep if he’s wearing anything more than his diaper.”

              “…Oh.”  Guilt began to spread throughout Stan.  “Well, why didn’t you tell me?”

              “I did!”

              “You told me what not to do.  You didn’t tell me why,” Stan said.  Ford scowled.

              “I shouldn’t have to explain myself when it comes to matters involving my children.  I’m their father.  I know their needs best.”

              “Yeah, yeah, whatever, fine.”  Stan crossed his arms.  “I’ll only dress him in his clothes, then.”

              “Good.”  Ford carried Orion over to his crib and carefully set him down inside.  “He tired himself out from crying.  I hope it doesn’t throw off his schedule much.” Ford sighed.  “I need to get back to the kitchen.  Please watch over Iris until Angie comes home.”

              “You got it.”  Stan followed Ford out of the nursery, but veered into the living room instead of the kitchen.  Iris stood in the playpen, pouting at Stan.  “Hey there, sunshine.”

              “Unc,” Iris said in a tone that made it clear she was disappointed with him.  Stan laughed.

              “You sound just like your dad when you talk like that, you know.”

              “Unc.”

              “All right, all right.”  Stan lifted Iris from the playpen.  “I’ll rescue you from the baby jail.”  The front door opened.  Angie walked in.  “Hey, Ang.”

              “Stan,” Angie said with a nod.  She beamed at Iris.  “There’s my lil rainbow!”  Iris squealed happily.

              “Mama!”

              “I sure am,” Angie gushed.  Stan handed Iris over to her.  “Where’s Orion?”

              “In his crib.”

              “Already?”

              “He had a bit of a meltdown and wore himself out,” Stan explained.

              “Oh no.  Do ya know why?”

              “According to Ford, it’s ‘cause I put him in the wrong clothes.”

              “Ah.”  Angie nodded sagely.  “That’d do it.”

              “Really?”

              “Oh, yes.  He’s a sensitive little boy.”  Angie smiled. “But at least ya know now and ya won’t dress him wrong next time.”

              “Yeah…”  Stan stuffed his hands into his pockets.  “Look, Ang, I gotta ask you something.”

              “Shoot.”

              “Isn’t- isn’t it kinda coddling Orion?” Stan asked. Angie frowned.  “He should just deal with wearing clothes he’s not comfortable in.  That’s how life works.”

              “Stanley, Orion ain’t even two yet,” Angie said patiently.  “He’s supposed to be coddled.”

              “Well, yeah, but-”

              “When he gets older, if it’s still a problem, we’ll address it, try to ease him into other clothes.  But right now, he’s too little to understand what’s goin’ on. All he knows is that he’s uncomfortable, in pain, even.”

              “Fair enough,” Stan mumbled.  He looked down at his feet.

              “Stanley.”  Stan looked up.  Angie was watching him, not with sympathy, but with empathy.  “I understand.”

              “You do?”

              “Yes.”  Angie took a seat on the couch.  Stan sat down next to her.  “Stanford told me ‘bout how yer father was very into tough love.”

              “Yeah, he was.”

              “That was somethin’ I was worried ‘bout.  I was worried Stanford might slip into similar ways of parentin’.  But he didn’t.  He told me that the second he held Orion and Iris, he knew he couldn’t be harsh or tough on ‘em.”  Angie played with Iris’s six-fingered hands, her eyes soft.  “I understand that ya have that same instinctive urge to do as ya were raised.  But trust us when we say we know what we’re doin’, okay?”

              “…Okay.”

              “Good.”  Angie smiled at him.  “‘Cause Stanford ‘n I have been talkin’, and we think that, if yer willin’, we’d like to hire ya as a live-in nanny fer Orion and Iris.”

              “Huh?”

              “We’d pay ya and let ya stay in the guest room.” A twinkle appeared in her eye. “But only if ya do what we tell ya.”

              “Why?”

              “The kids love ya.  We need childcare, you need a job.”  Angie shrugged.  “Seems like a win-win sit’ation.”

              “You know I’m unemployed.”

              “Oh, sugar cube.”  Angie put a hand on Stan’s shoulder.  “We know ya ain’t just unemployed, we know yer homeless.”

              “…Great.”

              “But if ya take us up on this offer, ya won’t be.”

              Good point.

              “I’ll think about it,” Stan said after a moment, wanting to avoid seeming too eager.  Angie nodded.

              “Good.”  Crying sounded from down the hall.  Angie sighed. “I better go check on Orion.”  She handed Iris to Stan, then kissed his cheek. Stan watched her walk away, warmth spreading across his face.

[xpao-bearx]

Part 1 HERE

NOTE: OMG I really wasn't expecting for the previous first part of Heavenly Sins to blow up as it did, but I just wanted to give a huuuge THANK YOU to all of you amazing folks!! 🥰🥰🥰 Your support truly means so fooken much to trashy ol' meh and y'all are the reason I am writing this story series in the first place :')

I do have my ideas, but I still don't know much yet of what to do or even how long (or short) this story will get. So, if you would continue to give me your mindblowing support, it would seriously mean the W O R L D.

I do, however, very much enjoy writing Negan in particular so far. He's one of my absolute fave characters ever and JEFFREY DEAN FUCKIN' MORGAN NEED I SAY MOAR?!? 🥵💕💕

But this second part will be focusing a bit more on our beloved sheriff Ricky boi! Of course, Daryl will also get some much deserved love and attention tho I think he will appear in the story a lil later on.

Also, if you ever feel compelled, you are more than welcome to take some inspo from this story and make your own imagines and such! I'd love to see 'em, so please tag me 😁

P.S. There won't always be long ass notes like this, only if I wanna say something or bring up whatever is important. Also, if you wanna be tagged on any new/future story parts, then just tell moi and I will dedicate the latest one to the people who wanted to be tagged!

DEDICATED TO: The wonderful @buttercandy16 💖

"Heavenly Sins"

Part 2

After your little spiel, you haven't spoken to Negan since then. But on the way home after church, you passed by his house and found him tinkering away on his motorcycle (which you previously learned he interestingly named Lucille) in the garage. Not being able to help yourself, you paused in your tracks and just curiously watched him for a while.

His leather jacket was off, revealing a plain white t-shirt. The shirt was quite tight, and you noted how it perfectly hugged the taut muscles of his chest. Your eyes then slowly trailed to his toned arms, adorned by tattoos you wished you had a better look at. He stopped briefly, placing his tools down before grabbing the hem of his shirt and wiping the sweat on his forehead.

You didn't even think twice as your eyes dropped, hyperfocused on his abs. He wasn't the buffest guy out there, but he was lean and fit and--to put it bluntly--hot. A part of you screamed bloody murder to get a grip on yourself, to just turn your stiff body around and proceed on home. But another part completely squashed down those protests without even a fight; as if your pathetic excuse of a resolve wasn't even meant in the first place.

"Take a goddamn picture, darlin'. It'll last longer."

Your head snapped up, meeting the tantalizing hazel stare of Negan. His lips were curled in a smug smirk, and nevermore in your entire life have you wanted to both slap and kiss someone so badly.

But you only clicked your tongue, shooting him a sharp glare before (at last!) turning and walking away as you hid your blush. In the distance, his amused chuckle begrudgingly sounded like the sweetest fucking music to your ears.

♡♡♡

You woke up at 7:05 a.m. like you typically did the next morning, Monday. It was the dawn of a new week, and while most people dreaded it you actually didn't mind it so much. You had your job to thank for that.

Sure, it wasn't always easy, but it was worth it in the end. You loved teaching and spending time with the children, and you were even more ecstatic since you knew Judith was going to be at the daycare.

As you finished eating breakfast and preparing for the day, you grabbed your bag then went out the door. You opted to walk again today, the weather far too beautiful to miss plus the daycare really wasn't that far away.

Eventually arriving at your destination, you approached the daycare building's doors with a little spring in your step. Once inside, a young woman with her blonde hair high in a ponytail smiled and waved.

"Hi, Y/N! Goodmorning!" Beth Greene greeted energetically.

"Morning, Beth." You chuckled, the girl's radiant smile infectious. You've known Beth for some time now, especially since the Greenes were one of the oldest families in Alexandria and they were well respected. But you got along best with Beth, you thought she was the friendliest and she was also the latest hire of the daycare.

Stashing your bag away in your personal locker, you fixed yourself up a bit before getting your nametag and sticking it on your top. Looking up at the wall clock, you read that it was 7:50 a.m. Perfect, just in time for the kids' drop-offs.

You waited outside with Beth and the rest of the daycare workers, until finally the parents started rolling in. It was the usual; some of the children were wailing, snot snivelling down their nose as their embarrassed parents tried to tug them away from clinging onto their legs. You could only offer a sympathetic smile as you tried to help, while other children were much more relaxed and didn't even spare a second glance at their parents as they were dropped off.

"Well, that's about all of them." Beth piped up.

"Wait, we're still waiting for Judith." You said, searching for the toddler. "Rick said she'd be here."

Beth checked her watch, her brows creasing a little in worry. "That's odd. Sheriff Grimes is never late when he's dropping Judith off."

Just as she said that, there was a honk that disrupted the peace. You and Beth both spotted a crying Judith being held by Lori, the woman appearing utterly exhausted before her eyes locked with yours and didn't waste another second dashing towards you.

"Please don't run when you're holding Judith. Also, no honking is allowed on the premises." It was hard for you to keep the malice out of your voice, but you mentally gave yourself a pat on the back since you miraculously managed to not make it sound the worst it could get.

Lori raised a brow at you, but only handed Judith over to you. Judith immediately quieted down when she saw it was you, you cooing gently at her as she giggled and snuggled up comfortably against your chest.

"Rick will be picking her up later." Was all Lori said, pressing a quick peck on Judith's curly little head before parting ways. As Lori rushed back to the car, you saw Shane in the driver's seat shamelessly attack her neck with fervent kisses and you couldn't restrain an eyeroll.

"Fucking bitch..." You grumbled.

"Uh-oh. Bad!" Judith giggled again, clapping her hands gleefully.

"Right, right. Bad. Don't copy me, okay?" You laughed, completely forgetting about your aggravation as you rubbed your nose with Judith's and went inside.

♡♡♡

The rest of the day rolled along splendidly. No one threw a tantrum and for the most part, all the kids properly shared the wide assortment of toys and even did their activities orderly and on time. So, you decided to indulge them with a small yet much sought after reward.

Painting.

When it comes down to children, painting can be utter chaos. But you figured since they were being so good, you'd allow it. At the daycare you worked in, painting was quite a rare occurrence and that only solidified how much the kids adored it.

Once the materials were set out, it was a dizzying flurry of excited hands grabbing anything it could latch on to. As the kids went about doing their creative business, you found Judith all alone sitting in the corner playing around with some blocks.

"Whatcha doin' there, Judi?" You asked, sweetly calling out her nickname. "You don't wanna paint?"

"I wanna, but not with papers." She replied, shaking her head.

"Oh? Then where do you wanna paint?"

"I wanna paint on faces, but no one wants me to!"

"If that's the case, then I'd be more than happy to let you paint my face." You smiled.

"Really?!" Judith's whole face lit up, jumping up and wrapping her tiny arms around you as tightly as she could. "Thank youuu!"

You chuckled, ruffling her hair and watching as she happily gathered some paint and brushes.

♡♡♡

It was finally the end of a long day, and your face felt a bit itchy from the paint Judith put on you. But it didn't matter; as long as the little girl was happy, it was the best damn day ever.

You were holding Judith's hand as you waited outside for Rick to pick her up, and once he came up with his car Judith beamed.

"Daddy!"

"Hello, sweetheart. Did you have a nice day?" His face looked tired, his greying beard making him appear slightly older than he really was, but his smile was genuine as he carried Judith in his strong arms.

"The bestest! Y/N lemme paint her face!"

"She did, huh? What did you pai--oh my god."

You bursted into laughter at his reaction, flashing him a toothy grin. "In the words of Judi: You're a pretty tiger! Grr!"

"Now that you mention it, I can see it." Rick joined in your laughter, nodding his head. "Looks like we've got a talented lil artist in our hands!"

"Daddy, I wanna paint your face next! You can be daddy tiger and Y/N can be mommy!" Judith proclaimed.

You and Rick flushed pink at the same exact time, but Rick was quick to clear his throat and change the topic. "A-Anyways, Y/N, how 'bout me and the kids give you a ride? Thank you for today, by the way."

"No problem, and sure! Thanks so much."

As you settled in the passenger's seat, two hands covered your eyes from behind. "Guess who~?"

"Hmm..." You hummed, making a show of thinking. "Are you an elf?"

"No!" The hands were removed, Carl popping his head out from the backseat to look at you as he laughed. "It's me!"

"Oh, sorry! You're just so short, I thought you were an elf." You teased good naturedly.

Carl huffed, sticking his tongue out at you. "Y'know, in a few years, I'll be way taller than you!"

Once Rick was done buckling Judith into her carseat, he took his place in the driver's seat and drove out of the premises. You just talked about anything that came to mind: work, the weather, Alexandria's local shops, etc. To anyone else, maybe it seemed like regular boring conversation. But speaking with Rick was truly one of the highlights of any of your days. He was extremely easy to talk to, and he never failed to cheer you up. And it was obvious Rick was the same. He was allowed to simply be himself around you; to loosen up, momentarily forget about the stress and sometimes even the woes that came along with being the town's upstanding sheriff.

As you were nearing your home, Carl decided to cut in.

"Y/N, can we stay at your house? It's been a while since we had a sleepover." Carl asked, his baby blue eyes identical to Rick's alight with hope.

It wouldn't be the first time Rick and the kids would be staying over. You were very close to the Grimes family, sometimes even almost considering them as your own. You didn't mind it. Since you lived alone, it can get pretty lonely. And having people around surely brightened up the house and made you keep your sanity.

"I don't mind, but you gotta ask your dad." You chuckled.

Carl turned to Rick, pouting and giving his best puppy dog eyes. Rick rolled his eyes, but couldn't suppress an inkling of a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. But let me drop you and Judith off with Y/N first. I'll be back, I just need to get some extra clothes and essentials."

"YAY!" Carl cheered, Judith following suit as they both raised their arms and hollered.

"You're so whipped for them." You laughed, shaking your head as you looked at Rick.

"I ain't denying that." He sighed dramatically, grinning.

[mylovelies-docx]

Kid Krow - Heather

Chapter two is here! I’m going to try and post updates on Mondays, Thursdays, and Sundays until it’s finished!

The angst train is beginning its looooong journey, so be prepared!

Feedback is always appreciated, and my inbox is open for questions or comments.

Trigger warnings for this chapter: angst, pining, jealousy, hurt, sadness, allusions to smexy times, friendship. (Zorii is a good buddy)

Tagging the ones that liked the last post: @lil-lex1​  @star-hoes​ @greendagger15​

Word count: 3k

Link to the song inspo! x

Everyone had been drinking heavily by this point. Poe had his arm slung over your shoulders, drawing you into his heat to ward off the chilly night. Everyone was celebrating the success of your last mission.

It was successful in terms that nobody was injured. The exchange, on the other hand, could have gone better. But when your friends get the urge to party, there really is no stopping them.

You were the pilot of this little group that made up your circle of friends. Poe had taught you everything he knew about flying, and you had the patience that went along with being friends with a very… Poe… type of person. Therefore, you were the best pilot the group had. You could sit in the pilot’s chair all day waiting on the others to come back from their rendezvous with criminals and politicians alike, and be perfectly happy reading stories on your holopad.

You and Poe had been with the Kijimi Spice Runners for more than a few years now, ever since he had turned 16 and pestered you until you went along with his little escape plan. Everyone in your squadron was a decent being – as decent as smugglers and criminals can be, anyway – and you and Zorii were the best of friends when Poe wasn’t busy shoving his tongue down her throat. 

And sometimes even when he was.

It killed whatever was left of your heart every time they wandered away from the group, running off the make out and fuck the adrenaline still thrumming through his veins out after a successful drop. But Zorii wasn’t drawing him away at the moment, so your heart was safe.

For now.

You were gazing up at Poe, enraptured in the way he was telling the story of one of your many adventures before joining up with the Spice runners of Kijimi. Your fellow runners were all laughing boisterously at your expense, as Poe was describing the time you wiped out in a pile of Bantha dung after trying unsuccessfully to tip one over while it slept. 

You were laughing along because it was hilarious in retrospect, but you still shoved at Poe’s chest in defense of your younger self. He laughed harder, bringing himself back towards you and placing you directly against his chest with both arms draped over you, cradling you against him. (x)

His touch was more intoxicating than the Alderaan Ruge Liquor someone had stolen for tonight from the depths of a collector’s cellar.

You shivered at the delicious feeling of Poe surrounding you. You lived for moments like this, where you were both safe and happy and together. Poe’s laughter faded and he glanced down at you, a concerned look on his face.

“Are you cold?” he asks, his hands now rubbing up and down your arms. You blushed, unable to bring yourself to admit that it was more a shiver of pleasure than from the cold.

“Just a little, but I’m alright,” you said, smiling up at him.

“Well, we can’t have that.” Poe released you and started taking some of his layers off. Even with the fire you were all gathered around, multiple layers were necessary.

“Poe, no! Put your clothes back on,” you giggled, pretending to peek through the fingers you had placed over your eyes in mock chastity. Your flush building as he removed one of his sweaters and his undershirt rode up enough to expose a strip of tan skin.

“Nonsense, my princess is cold and I’ve got plenty of clothes to share.” Poe grinned, tugging his freshly removed sweater over your head and smoothing the hair away from your face where his actions had mussed it. “Besides: it looks better on you, anyway.”

You hugged your arms around yourself as you watched Poe zip up his outer layers. Your heart was full to bursting in your chest, and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

Once Poe was situated again, you clung back onto him. You wrapped your hands around his arm and tucked them up where his arm met his chest. You gave your fingers a little wiggle and looked up at Poe, a mischievous grin on your lips. Poe’s face was playfully stern.

“Don’t even think about it, (Y/N). You know what will happen,” Poe warned.

“I’m not doin’ anything,'' you shrugged, looking away. Poe didn’t believe you, so he took your hands away from him and gripped them in his own, rubbing them gently to keep them warm.

You were in a great mood, enjoying the evening with friends and getting progressively more intoxicated.

“What a sight for sore eyes!” came Zalos’s bellow from beside you. He was gesturing for Zorii to come closer to the fire and join in on the fun you were all having. She had just come from talking with another group of Spice runners at the party, all of them watching her go and murmuring appreciatively to each other. Whatever deal she had just struck was going to do great things for your little troop.

“No thanks, I think I’m going to head to my quarters; big day and all,” Zorii threw a meaningful look Poe’s way and walked off towards the ship.

You watched his eyes as she walked by. There was a hunger in them that hadn’t been there before. You knew what was coming next.

“I think she’s right; I think I’m going to pack it in for the night, too.” Poe released your hands and gave you a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll see you all in the morning.”

With a small wave and a smile on his face, he rushed after Zorii. Off to offer his warmth to her for the night and well into the morning.

“About time,” Arle muttered, taking another swig of liquor, “they’ve been dancing around each other for weeks now.”

“I wouldn’t call it dancin’ as much as foreplay. It’s always hotter when you’ve gotta work for it,” you said, pretending that your heart wasn’t breaking. “She’s had him mesmerized for a while now. I’m just surprised it took you all this long to find out they were together.” You upended your glass and downed the last of your drink. You stalked over to the bottle for a refill – you’d be needing it tonight. “I thought you three were more observant than that?” you teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mille groused.

“Good for them, though. Someone on this team needs a little action,” Arle mentioned, quickly looking to and dropping Mille’s gaze. Looks like Poe and Zorii weren’t the only ones that would be coupling up for the night.

“You’re all weak-willed; sex is the antithesis to rational thought. It drives you all mad with desire and detracts from what’s really important,” Zalos ranted, not for the first time.

“We can’t all be as lucky as you, Zal. Us lesser creatures crave a sweet release every now and again,” you joked. If you could have been as uninterested in relationships as Zalos was, you wouldn’t be in the situation you were now. You could be genuinely happy for Poe and Zorii, your two best friends, for finding joy in each other.

“I’ll teach you anything you want to know, little one. It’s all about meditation,” Zalos supplied, bringing his hands together in an imitation of a meditative position.

You chuckled and took a deep gulp of the Alderaanian liquor, hoping it would provide a deep enough sleep that you wouldn’t hear Poe’s moans through the walls tonight.

_____

“I don’t want to know,” you chuckled. 

You were nursing a killer headache, and the stars shooting by the transparisteel were making you nauseous. Zorii was as composed and pretty as ever, having not taken part in the flowing alcohol last night.

Why would he ever kiss me when I’m not even half as pretty as she is? you wondered to yourself. You turned your neck so that your head was lying against the pilot’s chair, providing an unimpeded view of Zorii in her morning-after glow.

“All I’m saying is that you need to find someone that can do that to you; I promise you won’t regret it.” Zorii looked at you with a devilishly satisfied smile. You rolled your eyes at her antics, having already planned on finding someone to spend a few hours with at the next fuel stop.

“I don’t need to know how good of a lover my best friend is, thank you very much. I’m perfectly content not to know.” Because if you knew how much you were missing out on, you’d feel even worse than you already did.

“Fine; it’s your loss. I’m just trying to give you some new things to try out.” Zorii smiled into her caf, happy that she had made you squirm. She thought that you were anticipating trying out whatever she had been explaining, but you had tuned her out when the thoughts of Poe grinding into you from that angle left you hot and unable to focus on what else she was saying.

“Whatever,” you joked good naturedly, “just try to keep it down next time, yeah? Even in a liquor induced coma, I could hear you guys.” You had woken up to Poe’s groans echoing in your ears; both from the quarters next to yours and from inside your dream.

“Okay, princess. We’ll try not to mess with your beauty sleep,” she grinned.

“That’s all I ask.” 

The conversation ended.

You both sat there staring as the stars passed by. You couldn’t focus on any one thought for long, so you were glad Zorii was tuned in enough to notice your inability to function that morning. She just provided the silent company you craved.

After a while, the quiet was broken when the cockpit door hissed open. Glancing over your shoulder, you saw Poe walking in. You threw him a tired smile and looked back out the windscreen.

Poe sauntered up between the chairs, ruffling your hair and placing a kiss on Zorii’s lips. He squatted down between the two of you.

“So, where are we heading, princess?” he questioned.

“Wherever Mille tells me to go; it’s their turn to pick the destination.” You explained. Mille hadn’t woken up yet, being a notoriously late sleeper. You’re sure it didn’t help that Arle and they had left the fire together last night, either.

“Sounds like a plan.” Poe turned to Zorii, some clothing in hand. “I thought you would be a little cold, so I brought you my sweater,” he said, pulling it open and placing it over her head, much the same as he did for you last night.

You sucked in a quiet breath, trying not to flinch. It was the same sweater you were given last night.

 “And who says I wanted this?” Zorri snarked, hands on her hips and a faux-affronted expression on her face.

“I say you wanted this,” Poe returns. He placed a kiss on her forehead and threw you a wink, then strolled back out of the cockpit with  a smile on his face.

“What a sap,” you commented. You don’t think she noticed the sadness that lingered in your expression after Poe gave her his sweater. You grew colder at the knowledge that Poe cared for her just as much, if not more, than he did for you. 

You definitely knew that he cared about her in a different way than he did you.

“Yeah…” she breathed. She fisted her hands in the sweater and pulled it up to her nose, taking in the smell of Poe.

The sweater he had given you last night had been spread out on your cot, infusing the blankets with his scent. A terrible way of trying to get over your crush, but one of the only ways you could stand not having him there. It’s excruciating that Poe had taken it from you to give to her.

He must like the thoughts of her in his sweater more than he cared about your feelings on the matter. But you had told him you were over it, so over it you pretended to be.

The last time you and Poe had gone off alone together had not gone your way, and you needed to keep the promise you made to him that day.

“When we stop for fuel, do you think you can stall every one for a couple of hours?” you asked Zorii.

“Oh yeah? Did I give you some ideas?” she teased, reaching out her arm to pinch your cheek.

“And so what if you did?” you smacked her hand away and rubbed your cheek. “It’s been a while since I was off the ship and having some fun away from you nerfherders.” Your tone was playful and you threw a knowing look her way.

“You know it’s not me keeping you from having fun; I encourage you as much as I can. I think Poe’s just jealous that when you’re gone you give me control and not him.”

Zorii was right, but it hurt to think that the only reason Poe didn’t want you to be with somebody else was because you didn’t give him the pilot’s chair. It had started out as a joke, you giving Zorii – arguably the worst pilot out of all of you – control while giving Poe your stuck-out tongue. 

You liked when he begged you to stay, begged you to keep everyone up in the air and on the way to the next Spice drop. But you only gave him a cheeky smile and a promise of being back after a few hours. Sometimes you told him about your plans to find someone just to see if he was jealous for a different reason when you got back late.

He never was.

____

You were sat with your feet propped on the console, careful to avoid pressing any buttons. You had a leather bound tome on your lap, enjoying the story’s plot. The main character reminded you of Poe: brave, brash, and beautiful. You were so enthralled that you didn’t hear the chatter of the trade end, so when you resurfaced at the next chapter you were at a loss as to why everyone was laughing amongst themselves.

“Did I miss something?” you asked, hand to the comm link in your ear. “I wanna be in on the joke.”

“It’s nothing, princess; we were just wondering why you zoned out on us,” Poe replied. You could hear the smile in his voice. “Another one of your stories take you away from us?”

“Of course. None of you are heroic enough to prevent an extinction-level event. You’re actually quite boring in comparison,” you said airily, grinning through your lie. They were some of the best people you knew-- illegal activities aside-- and they knew that.

“Okay, little book-worm.” Zorii was chuckling at the exchange. “We’re heading into the next cantina we find; are you going to join us this time?” she asked sarcastically, already knowing your answer.

“And waste what precious little alone time I have? Not a chance, Rii. You guys have fun out there, but I’m staying right here.” You made yourself more comfortable in your chair, preparing for at least a few more hours of immersion. 

They heard you wiggling around, and laughed at your refusal to join them once again.

“It didn’t sound like you wanted to be alone the other night,” Poe said slyly. “We all heard you and that bounty hunter outside of the ship; you seemed to be enjoying their company.” Poe was chuckling to himself. “What was that? The fifth one in the last few weeks?”

Everyone was laughing and joking along, but you were horrified to know that they had all heard you. That Poe had heard you. And that he thought the way in which you had decided to keep your promise was a joke to be laughed at.

“Shut it,” you growled. Everyone was still having fun and chatting back and forth, but Poe went silent.

You heard music in the background, signaling that they had finally made it to a cantina. You were relieved that the conversation was ending and that you had time to calm your anger before they came back. 

You said goodbye to the group and started removing your comm link when Poe’s voice came over the private channel.

“I’m sorry, princess,” he apologized, sighing heavily into the line. “That was uncalled for; I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”

“No,” you said, rage and hurt evident in your voice, “you shouldn’t have.”

“I know you’re trying to work through some things--” he began, but you cut him off.

“Seriously, Poe: don’t mention it. I’m working through it and making progress, so you don’t have to worry.” Your anger was morphing into a melancholy ache that was burning a hole in the middle of your chest.

“I’m always going to worry about you, (Y/N), that’s what friends do.” Poe was trying so hard to apologize, but everything he said was only making it worse.

“I know,” you choked, “just try not to mention my little indiscretion again, yeah?” 

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Poe joked, trying to console you.

Poe, please stop laughing at me, you begged internally.

You stared up at the controls above your head, willing the burning behind your eyes to go away. You needed a subject change and to get Poe to leave you alone for right now.

“Hey, could you bring me back some food? I’m not in the mood for anything we have onboard.” 

“Yeah, sure. The usual?” Poe asked, thankfully having taken the hint and backing off.

“You know it.” You forced a neutral tone to your voice, hoping to get him off the line quickly. “But no rush; you guys enjoy yourselves. I’ll just be here.”

“Okay, (Y/N), we’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.” 

You ended the link and tried to go back to your story, but the male lead reminded you too much of Poe again and you had to put it away.

[thelordstears]

Writing totally isn’t a passion of mine *Wink, wink*

"Fools, always think they're the smartest one in the room, as is the same with saints, it would seem." - Moores Thomas

"The crow must have a very watchful eye; for even his flock is called a murder." - Valkronin Sambridge

"Sometimes what others do to obtain peace leaves you in pieces." - Bentley Harlem

"He is the enemy screams my ragged bone mind; again and again the shouts of my father echo in the night of my darkness, and again and again I let the lie envelop like blood in my chest." - Alastair Sambridge

"This wicked heart doth not beat lovely." - Valkronin Sambridge

"We're pawns in a game that doesn't fucking care; the King and Queen have left the brooks and knights bleeding on the edge of the board. All that's left of us is the way we move across a checkered board, wondering why black, white and red is the only color we can see through these loyalty blinded eyes." - Flitz Haktoll

"We're all lookin' for glory at the end of a faded bullet; grins echoing in the decaying lights of justice and heroism." - Benjamin Scotsfire

"Glory is not found in the pursuit of death. It's often found in the pursuit of something greater." - Henry Onlark

”Lies fall slick from the tongue of the foolish.” - Cross Smykens

"I left the war; but it never left me." - Jay Foster

"Ya know; a man once told me to turn my rage inta power. Let it be the kick of my bloodied rifle, but as I turned that rage to power, as I let that bloodied rifle bruise my shoulder; I learned that power's name was corruption all along." - Maximus Bates

"When everything is ripped decadent from your veins you find a substitute for that abyss in your heart; and I've filled it with cracks of who I'm not." - Terminus Hydra

"People like us don't get third chances. We just get ta live the rest of our lives in this flat circle, we're doomed ta try and run on these hand me down shoes; but we'll just get right back where we started. Standin' stagnant in our cruelty." - Scottenmire Travol

"You haunt many a folk 'round here and you don't even know the names of the graves carved into the stone of your heart; everyone's nameless too ya. But everyone's got a name and a couple thousand stories to tell, what merry little tale do you think I plan on orchestrating tonight?" - Monte Pelamo

"I thought I was raising a rifle to fate; but then I bled as my finger curled around the trigger." - Alastair Sambridge

"Glory and death often go hand in hand; interlocking bloodstained fingers within one another's as to best watch humanity flitter and fade away into dust and ashes. Have you ever noticed how cruel people get when life fucks 'em over? How evil seeps through the good man's heart all because he had a bad fucking day? I'm the seed of evil planted into the good man's ribcage, blossoming like a black rose of thorns and shadow in the heart of kindness." - Diablo Bohnsello

"I already walked that path brother. I already have a coffin fitted for a man that ain't me; it's why I'm so fucking dangerous." - Hectorvallo Bloodwain

"If you can't fucking get something out of doing what's right, than what's the point of being the good guy?" - Trent Aval

"Oi'm just a stumblin' deer, wonderin' where these breadcrumbs will lead me." - McKady Cornwall

"Some men call me a mad man. But I imagine you'll call me a monster, or karma, in some wicked sense. Who I am is usually defined differently for every man I come across. They all have their own little tale. Some weep as they read the poetry scribed like scars in their heart, some rejoice in the wicked man's tale. But you, little one shall die, in some strange and peculiar way. Not in the sense that I'll bury you, but in the sense that I'll wipe your slate clean and scribe little pieces of my darkness onto your blackened pages." - Westell Gramstein

"Crazy and misunderstood is a very thin line many walk." - Westell Gramstein

"I was stuck in a shadow like trance, dancing with the light of my very own moon. It was under the decadent and decaying lights of that pale light cast from the sky that I was stricken by a very sudden madness. A very quiet, madness." - Shackelstan Puppeteer

"Any man can become a shadow wisped secret of himself. How do ya think the darkest of creatures are made, brother? They start off as good people doin' good things. But sumthin' comes along the line and rips them from their shadow, leavin' them defenseless against the dark." - Valterren

"In all madness, my friend, there is what created it. Dare you tread in the black waters of my mind?" - Westell Gramstein

"When it's your life or mine I tend to get a little selfish, a little cowardly. And these days, the bullet is my only saving grace." - Kyro Bellford

"I stand stagnant in a pool of others blood, wishing it was my own." - Alwine Hickory

"I looked for who I am in all the wrong places. Like the way a boys hurt tasted on my heart, or the way a cigarette burnt my tongue. It's as if I never really found me. As if I never will. Because in all honesty, I feel as though I was never someone that could truthfully be called Inazo Lizomann." - Inazo Liomann

"I'm licking fate off of the barrel of temptation's revolver, my heart splintered and weary. Once you get a taste of the things that damn you, like the way cruelty tastes on your tongue, you begin to fall away from yourself. I swore up and down I'd survive. But I didn't. I never had." - Huntsdale Klizollo

"Unity with control is like putting a cat in water. You think it won't resist, you'll think that peace can be found within the feral animal you've dropped into the waters of unified revolution. But eventually, claws start to fly and the once unified civilization becomes nothing but the ashes it once started as." - Hex Sweeney

"I'm cursing you with the thought of life in the midst of the death of those you called friend." - Sevelsworth Hickory

"They always say, oh go ahead, open up. Let those scars bleed so you can reach the light everyone's always preaching about. And then you let your emotions come running from your lip like a river, and they put a dam in your mind and tell ya no one gives a fuck about the kid of trouble and bone. So you pick up a few bad habits, you throw another fist against a kid in your same situation and make due with what ya've fucking got. As if the dam built in your mind keeps all but the rage in." - Flizo Thompson

"I'm old bones buried beneath the rubble of identity. Don't matter how much I struggle, how much I try to survive. Because I'm already dead, and at this point, bein' a walking grave don't sound so appealing. So I burn up my lungs and pray I drift away with the smoke." - Ramo Bonewitz

"No one cares about you Ramo, you're already a ghost. All I have to do is give that little extra push into the unknown." - Quentin Satchel

"You won't make it out of this alive. You'll try. You'll walk mile after mile. But you're just a tombstone with legs." - Quentin Satchel

"My thirst for blood started young. The first day I saw the driblets of crimson drop to the tile floor was when a kid brought a razor blade to school and drew blood against his bully. An act of defense. And gradually my thirst for this kind of behavior grew. It started with rooster fights, watching the little fuckers claw at each other with those sharp nailed talons of theirs. But that gets boring quick. So I moved onto dogs. And that evolved into watching wolves fight in my father's barnyard. But eventually you get sick and tired of fur and fangs, so you settle for something more dangerous. Something more rewarding. My father taught me the game of gladiatorial fighting. Civil. Just. Merciful. And as I watched that man cut his brother down in the blink of an eye, oh I knew I could never go back. And I never would. I became a master of the arena, sitting on my throne of gladiator and gladiatrix's corpses." - Sevelsworth Hickory

"The blood of my father's victims sits on my hands, as if it was me pullin' the trigger. As if all along, I were pullin' the strings. Sometimes, when all ya can do is watch tragedy unravel, you get this funny lil idea that it's all your fault." - Alwine Hickory

"I was raised on the Devil's backbone of sin, standin' like the snarl of a rifle. Don't you come ta wonder what makes monsters like me? Brother, life has always been what makes monsters outta human men." - Cavowit Hickory

"We're all just thieves and bastards lickin' up the pieces 'a fate we got left. So why you gon' go damnin' me for preventin' the crooked bitch from comin' for me sooner? Son, I'm just doin' what it takes ta survive this Devil's country." - Stalkman Hickory

"I got a tattoo runnin' below my eye that tells the truth, as if the grim reaper has put her eternal mark on me." - Henio Bonstook

"You'll become a reflection, of sorts. You won't exactly, look like me. You won't exactly, look like my gunmetal stained past. But it'll be there, lurking in the corners of the mirror. Waitin'. Watchin'. Readyin' itself to pounce on the little gunslinger who thought he could, and that my friend. Is the day you'll die." - Ulfrich Diggory

"It's not about, who you are in the now. It's about who you're gonna be after I start carving little pieces of you off with the edge of my gunslinger malice." - Ulfrich Diggory

"Truthfully, I killed someone for that woman. I carved little pieces from off my heart, begging her to love them, but she was a Devil wrapped in gossamer, silk and roses, telling me that our little secret was nothing more then a flickering streetlight, providing little protection to the darkness of the night. And I suppose, my streetlight flickered out, leaving me with nothing but the sparks of a cigarette and the warmth of a revolver." - Grant Filepen

"Where once faith swung like curtains behind my ribcage, now it feels more like a couple of nooses, whispering my fate into the winds of my feeble, decaying sense of self." - Amaziah Bokenmay

"To the circus you shall go, to lose your mind and find a darker soul." - Moores Thomas

"Truthfully we're all heroes in some capacity. But some cast that away, they tear it screaming from their heart, our heroism often begs when faced with greedy fingers, but the cruel don't care. And to all the heroes who invited the kindness in, I hope it didn't take too many pieces away from you, to let the fact that cruelty exists despite the bravery in you break you." - Kirsten Hezofrein

"The cruel call peace a revolution just so they have an excuse to kill the protestors." - Sebastian Dovens

"The blood ran black from my wrist, dripping down like candle wax damnation." - Joey Alderson

"Skinny and starvin' I died, sittin' on the edge of my frozen over revolver. I shivered, I shook. And mate, I didn't make it ta the end of the tunnel, I was caught by the traffic of beasts, but 'ow peculiar is it, that they stared at me with eyes I recognized? As if pe'raps, friends can become enemies within the span of a god damn blink." - Arv Harknizia

"Darkness has to blot out the sun for light to shine later on." - Gustave X. Van Velk

"Those in power are often the weakest man kind's got to offer." - Garth Yeager

"I saw life flash before my eyes in the banging of a rifle, sins sitting cruel on a masked man's sleeve. It was in that moment of death that I cut humanity from out my heart, becoming something unfamiliar. But these cackles of insanity start to feel beautiful." - Tahasha Moonlight

"Life keeps forcing me down, these shadows start to whisper into my mind that the light is just outta reach. And those damned shadows rip at the threads of the sun's golden rays, ripping into the warmth of Summer forevermore. I'm telling you man, you think Summer memories will always be goofing off under the hot sun, playing videogames with your best friend as your mom brings you cookies and lemonade. But all I can hear now is the gunfire melody of the hunt, sickening cackles ringing in my ears like poppers goin' off to damn early." - Scottie Bloodvallo

"Death is something we can not avoid. It catches all souls who live, it lingers in the cold mountains and in the hot springs, hiding in the shadows and the light. Wherever we go it is hiding, always hiding. But I find it so,  innately cruel that sometimes, death catches up to men and women who still have miles to walk. People who from then on out have to walk mile by begrudged mile in death's wicked boots." - Caesar Cagelstan

"Men like me, men of the mountains and cold harsh winds of Antarctica don't really fuckin' live. Sure, we breathe. But as an old friend said there's such an ugly difference in that, cause as I puff another hazed, stale old cigarette, smoke drifting towards the Heavens, I come ta realize these angels wear smoke wings and ember halos, praying that this warmth is enough ta melt the ice in their hearts." - Daryl Fate

"People think that because they've walked comfortable miles, they know what it means, to truly be alive. But breathing and living are a very thin line many cling too, as if it was the lit fuse of a pact of dynamite, praying that it doesn't cover them in shrapnel truths and war bound horrors. I no longer live. I breathe. And there is such an ugly difference in that." - Mankar Hagmallio

"You don't know this city like I do kid. There's sharks swimmin' in the waters of these secrets, boy, and you're starting to smell a helluva lot like blood." - Roman Ustolgio

"I'm a Diablo, friend, and you're here for a handshake." - Abundio Garciel

"They called me a fucking misfit, as if who I am wasn't enough for society. And so as I washed myself in the blood of my innocence, draped in the crimson shawl of my identity, I came to realize no one, and I mean no one at fucking all, can add up to the expectations of a civilization ruled under the boot of the Heavens. And so we call ourselves angels, as if that made us holy in any sense of the fucking word." - Nicolla Bravajin

“ These skyscrapers stand like dead goliaths of faith and virtue, reminding us that New York city is where identities go to die and justice comes to wither and writhe underneath the heat of another darkened day. “ - Bartley Exodus

“ There comes a time when every man must choose who he wishes to be. He can walk the road seldom traveled or walk amongst the villains, slipping a mask of fangs over his face as to hide the bravery flickering in them golden eyes of his.” - Bartley Exodus

“ I pick up my old, rusted revolver and carve a couple dead men's names into the bullets and shove 'em into this chamber. Did I say dead men? Sorry. I've got a tendency to talk future tense." - Bartley Exodus

“ There's a locked room in my head where all the thoughts used to go.” - Bardem Lazolla

“ You know, all my life I've had to be tough, had to be just a bit stronger than the last guy; but I'm tired of the act. This mask is beginning to slip and I fear who I'll be once it falls. I've been someone else for so long that I don't know who I'll be once I'm me. “ - Bardem Lazolla

“ Isn't it strange how some people choose to be stuck in a nightmare while everyone else is living the dream? They can say we're all crazy, nutcases who belong in the looney bin. But in the end I'd rather be crazy than normal. I'd rather be me than someone I never was.” - Axelo Hayware

“ We've gotta be accepting, because humanity is built on love; but some people think power and hate is what gets you a name remembered. Yeah sure, names like Adolf Hitler and Julius Caesar are prevalent in the history books; but who do you look up to? Martin Luther King Jr or the fool who let power get to his head?” - Axelo Hayware

“ Humanity isn't doomed, we're just a little stuck is all." - Axelo Hayware

“ You know how when you're just a kid you dream of one day changing the world? Well look at you! Look! You did it; I promise. We're all changing the world daily with our actions, wondering if we ever meant a damn thing in the end; and I'll admit, I stumbled a few times. This path had a couple of roots along the way that felt like a noose wrapping around my dreams, forcing me to sputter and choke on nightmares.” - Tom Hanson

“ I refuse to let the gunshot melody become my song. “ - Tom Hanson

“ Look, there's a time and place to be a hero. And that's everywhere and all across the clock.” - Spencer Vokeswagon

“ I'm just the civilian who watched in wonder as the sky burned with glory bound promises, smelling the way they broke in the air.” - Spencer Vokeswagon

“ I'm falling inch by inch; wondering why the fall is such a slow descent, it has taken years for me to reach the atmosphere, and I have been burning ever since I first touched a broken star with human fingers that never should've found those old secrets dusted in the corner of a shelf in her son's bedroom.” - Valentine Valks

“ I shall never discover for I fear taking a step forward.” - Valentine Valks

“ Was that taut leather in his eyes or love?” - Valentine Valks

“ He is cruel and unjust, claiming himself an angel as he rips the wings from other's backs if only to stitch them onto his own. Is it such a sin to give life to the devil whom would steal it? I didn't know, I plead to the Heavens. But in my skull I hear the booming voice of God fracturing my pieces, and he tells me, "It matters not. He is your blood; and so you shall bleed in his place." And like a fool I accept my punishment as Jesus once did. I am bleeding on a crucifix of my son's sins, crown of thorns wrapped around my head as all the color bleeds from me. Black and white blend to a warped sense of grey; and all I know becomes fogged and misty. “ - Valentine Valks

“ I was raised a warrior, fighting battles of mind and blade, because in a world where evil lurks in every corner; everyone needs to be a hero or have the capability to be one. “ - Kadlin Paulson

“ The true warrior fights for what she loves and what she knows to be true.” - Kadlin Paulson

“ I'm an old tree trunk covered in the scars of the hatchet; and I know they dare not remember my name. For if the hatchet were to remember the name of every tree it cut its handle would begin to rot. Because to cut and cut and cut; the hatchet must have slain a couple of once sturdy trees. But I will stand sturdy forevermore. “ - Kadlin Paulson

“ I was young when I learned to keep a watchful eye on all that one loves; for everything has a darkness waiting inside of them, prowling in the depths of all saint's bones, waiting to pounce on the weary hearted followers of God. Dare not let this darkness prevent you from stepping into the light; for this is how the shadows in your ribcage win, how the demons start cackling with a strength they didn't once possess. “ - Nial Moorannan

“ My hands are stained with the blood of every man I've ever been.” - Nial Moorannan

“ I have watched the sun set one too many times; aiming the scope of this fox hound's rifle a thousand and three times, always me in my sights. Always me I watch go down in a howling scream of blood lit confessions and regret cackling at the midnight sky ever burning.” - Nial Moorannan

“A serpent followed us into our perfect little garden of Eden and stood watchful at our forbidden trees; eyes beady and forever burning with an emptiness that was never quite human. And he stripped the roses from Heaven; he tore the angels from a once clear sky and cackled as fire erupted through the clouds. And so all the angels of Eden fell; forever fell. On that day I died a death like no other, dreaming of beauty as I fell from Heaven, grasping the burning clouds wondering why death tasted like a memory on its way." - Nial Moorannan

“ There's a black serpent slitherin' in me ribcage; darin' me ta take a step forward in this dance with me shadow, and I dance, and I dance, and I bloody dance. A pirouette in the soddin' dark of me own bloody moon. “ - Arnold Schull

“ First time I died was when I were covered in da blood of boys sent howlin' ta an early grave, dagger drippin' crimson wif' regret. Second time I died was when I shook da hand of a masked devil, anarchy and violence howlin' just behind me. And mate; I've died many more times. “ - Arnold Schull

“ I've neva' seen 'is face. But those eyes dance wif' somethin' sinister. “ - Arnold Schull

“ Sometimes we hit the clouds before we make it to Heaven.” - Armellos Crescendo

“ Feather by feather who you are will be restored. “ - Armellos Crescendo

“ Rejoice, my friend; the sun of humanity has yet to sink. “ - Armellos Crescendo

“ I got fight left in my old bones and people to protect with all I got, so I roll up my sleeves and stick a cigarette between my teeth, letting the smoke be a warning of the fire that roars inside of me. “ - Armellos Crescendo

“ My father once told me that we have a choice when faced with the edge of a bullet; we either run from it or let it dig into our hearts. We're either the shield or the one that's behind it. And my mother once said that the world is a sorrowed plain of darkness; we're just the stars living in the blanket of shadow. And these words echo in my mind as I try to push back against the life I've been living, the sorrow ached life I've been given. “ - Ariel

"There's a storm in me heart. It rumbles and cackles with lightning and thunder; red rain pouring down on me cracked and broken ribcage, and as I try ta rest I feel the storm brew like death in this weary little fool. “ - Annabelle Courtney

“ I didn't pull the trigger, but I din'it stop anyone from lettin' the bullet soar neither. “ - Annabelle Courtney

“ I was a good woman once. But ever since I met that woman underneath the streetlights, I knew that I was a goner; she wore her nails red as blood, leather jacket draped over her shoulders as she snarled at the sky and all who made her the way she is. And as I fell through the ever lit skies of her rage I became something much less than who I am. She once dug sharp nails into my cheeks and snarled at me to paint the walls the color of my namesake, and with mournful regret I watched the white walls become a ruby red. “ - Ruby Vollstale

“ She's just a wild dog that doesn't know how to calm herself down.” - Ruby Vollstale

“ I once told myself that the fall is a long way down; but as I started to trip, the fall felt like only a few begrudged seconds. “ - Ruby Vollstale

“ Before one can fall head first into death he must go through the echo of life.” - Zecheriah Holyton

“ We are dropping like flies swatted by the electric swatter; dying as flashes of light in the nebula abyss of earth.” - Zecheriah Holyton

“ I was born curious, my friend. So I dug into the truths of philosophy and secrets, tearing my measly little claws into the greatest poets man kind ever knew trying to find the purpose of a life so obsolete. And I discovered that in truth; life is what we make it. But it also happens to be heavily influenced by our surroundings. “ - Zecheriah Holyton

“ I look into the stars of Heaven and often wonder if it's angels or graves in the sky or if that perhaps the sun is a culmination of all the burning wings set ablaze to give humanity warmth on event the harshest of winters. “ - Zecheriah Holyton

“ We are dualities of what we've done; wondering if what we didn't do condemns us in the end. “ - Zecheriah Holyton

“ Humanity is a vessel; of what I can never tell. All I know is that we're Babushka dolls." - Zecheriah Holyton

“ It's funny, how people will look at the unwell man with such fucking disgust; they say, "Look at the battered whore of a man! Sipping on the delusion that he is something other then his madness!" But don't they understand I'm trying to stuff myself so full of placebos that this fucked up thing I've become finally passes me by? “ - Arthur Wellburn

“ These emotions whir around my mind like cannons and gunfire, always hitting me down to rock bottom. But then I soar! Oh how I fucking soar. But I'm always falling within a month; laughing at the thought of splatting bloodied against rock bottom once again. “ - Arthur Wellburn

“ They always say you're strong for fighting the mental illness, but if they could see my heart they'd recoil and ask me to be put in a mental ward for all the thoughts that swim like death in this black watered river of my fucked up mind. “ - Arthur Wellburn

“ I'm just a nobody looking at the world through the eyes of Arthur Wellburn, wondering why I can never see a reflection of my mania. I'm stuck in this little corner nowadays, as if I'm just this little monster in a cage of his mind; and I'm always thinking the cure to my disease is a revolver shoved in my mouth and a wildly loud BANG! BANG! BANG! It'd be so much easier to die than to live, you know? So much easier to let the weight of my burdens fall onto my families shoulder like a ghost that lingers on the other side of death. But I never do it, I never do! And I get to wondering, "Why?" Because as life guns me down; I cackle in the red rain." - Arthur Wellburn

“ Look, I was just a kid hiding his truths behind dorky smiles and girls I didn't even have a crush on. But my brother, my sister, they were always gonna accept me as I am; there were never strings attached to our bonds; never scissors waiting to slice. “ - Tony Ikelfur

“ I am nothing more then a messiah of the broken and condemned; come one come all, safety is found in the comforting embrace of the shadow mistress. “ - Antonio Sharp

“ I walk within the light if only to watch it fade; striding beneath the sun if only to watch it sink one last time. “ - Antonio Sharp

“ I was born under the shadows of pinewood trees and howling wolves.” - Antonio Sharp

“ As the world comes to a grueling close who do you think will walk into paradise? The holy; or the heretics of life? Who do you think will be praised by the oh so holy creator of darkness but they who embraced it? We are beasts and bastards in these shadows my brother; so become one with the edging blade of destiny. Let it cut pieces of your identity from off your skin, let it call to you with the silver shadow of a soon to be crimson soaked dagger. We are children of the shadows; messiahs of the night. Dare the hero walk into the night with his rifle and bravery he will be shown as an example as to why the darkness is superior. “ - Antonio Sharp

“ I'm cheap smoke rising from the New York sky.” - Ambrose Walsh

“ Ever since the day I dug a grave I ain't been who I am. The lantern shed a pale yellow light across my face, cigarette stuck between my gritted teeth as I huffed and puffed, shovel working hard as the soil dug up beneath me. The moon was cast sorrowful on this broken man's soul, the reflection of a wolf dancing in the stream right by the old cemetery that knows too many forgotten names. You really don't wanna meet who I became that cold, Sundeh night. Because not even I can face the bastard in the reflection. “ - Ambrose Walsh

“ You can't trust the dogs who kept on a diggin' despite the way the soil reeked of death.” - Ambrose Walsh

“ You know how you try and be who you are after tragedy? You cling to the memory of the smile in your mirror and convince yourself that you're still that person? Because I tried real damn hard to be that person after the fire. But I know that boy is gone; buried underneath the secrets he found in a town he thought knew peace. “ - Alex Devonwood

“ I hate to break it to ya, but angels don't fucking exist. We're all just people living our sorrowful little lives selling ourselves to the dream that it gets better one day. But it doesn't, it really doesn't. I've been trying to find that happily ever after for a long time, but the man that haunts my memory? He sits in the recesses of darkness like a leather draped beast always waiting to drag the hopeful into his devious maw. Truth is life wasn't made to be lived. Life's only purpose is to serve us to death on a silver platter and I don't wanna stand for that. I wanna live but know it's impossible. “ - Alex Devonwood

“ I tried to tell my story; but no one roots for the underdog who never bit back, the dog who never barked his truths to the sky. People prefer tales of perseverance over the tale of the boy who never won. It gives them false hope, that they can be like the boy who won. But the boy who lost eats their dust." - Alex Devonwood

“ I used to be full of this joy that you couldn't really kill; but that man, he tore it from me. Sorrow leeched at the edges of his eyes; a dogs bark snarling somewhere in his throat, and he told me that we all live our lives confined in a locked room. And that the wrong person had found my key. And into my locked room he walked, ripping my heart from out the walls, digging into the wallpaper to discover the secrets I hid like confessions in my chest. And it was on that day that I was left as barebones of who I was. “ - Alec Bonehoff

“ I was just a fucking kid, man, I shouldn't have had to bare the weight of my brother's unguilted conscience. “ - Desmondo Dreadful

“ Sometimes ve chase our dreams. Sometimes zey chase us. “ - Luka Schiefer

“ People are always gonna hate even though it don't get no one anywhere, so when faced with this rage, when faced with this hatred ever seething. Take a few deep breaths and remember emotions often lie; and given the chance they'll shoot ya down with pellets of doubt and fear.” - Gary Heartlock

“ I was just a kid enjoying the company of himself, always told he just weren't a good influence. “ - Gary Heartlock

“ When you let the armor of lies shed from off your skin you start to grow a tougher skin of truth; don't you know that's why Icarus laughed as he fell? “ - Gary Heartlock

“ Be so authentically you that the hateful use you as an example of what's wrong with humanity; be so yourself that you set the bricks for the next man's path. “ - Gary Heartlock

“ You know how it is, right? You try and do the right thing but get caught up in all the bad of this world, wishing you had just stayed the fuck put.” - Dominiqua Claytor

“ Somedays I look back at the bridges I burned; memory of my eyes watering stinging my mind, the idea that I once smelled the smoke killing me from the inside. But I learn my lesson and move on. “ - Dominiqua Claytor

“ My brother and I are just two cold cases no one cares to look into; because who the hell cares about the death of identity? Who cares about the cigarette that never sparked up? “ - Adella Furrow

“ With my tattered boots and old leather jacket I walked into the unknown, and from whence I never returned. “ - Abel Romiro

“ Everyone stared me down, blaming me for the way fate unraveled, and I started to wonder if that town was home or just another house of too many damn walls. “ - Abel Romiro

“ That town was just too filled with devils for a single angel to do a damn thing.” - Abel Romiro

“ I've been both Cain and Abel truthfully; both Judas and the apostles who followed faithfully. But in the end I betrayed my own namesake, blood of a brother staining my once pure hands; and on that day I killed the hero inside of me. On that day the vultures flocked around my heart; pecking at what was soon to be dead. “ - Abel Romiro

“ That man locked me in a cage of the mind and told me to flay these pieces of identity from off my skin layer by layer. I bled for hours on the meat hook. A starving and skinny crow I became; yearning for a day where death didn't seem like a dream. And I found it in the hearts of my shield sisters. “ - Aadab Zivell

“ They say good fortune comes to he who raises a pistol in the name of peace; but often the man who slings bullets and sins ain't the man who finds the stairway to Heaven. “ - Aristead Solace

“ I've spent my life huntin' the cruel, finding them in different states and dead end alleyways. But still that one case sends shivers like death up my spine. Think of a lion; blood covered maw snarling inside of a cage it called the world, now take this lion and put him in a field full of gazelle. What will you get but a slaughter? That's what that man was to the world. Just a lion in a field of waiting gazelle. “ - Aristead Solace

“ Sometimes the heroes, they think their villains because ya gotta break a few commandments to stop the sinnin' man, and we call ourselves regretful devils. But we're just human, huh? And that's what made all the difference." - Aristead Solace

"Humanity. Kind one moment. Cruel the next. “ - Varkens Willowbrook

“ I have come to learn that there is an evil plaguing this world, it's wrapped in barbed wire and gunfire violence, the rage within sitting heavy in the open chest. And it goes by the wicked name of humanity. But simply because humanity is wicked does not mean that all of humanity is wicked. You'll find the kind ones somewhere waiting for you; but you are sure to find the wicked man often in a world that operates on kill or be killed. “ - Varkens Willowbrook

“ I believe that this world is kind despite the bad apples in the barrel; though those few bad apples started to rot the rest of the seeds within; the water roaring with the infection that came with the sin. Unfortunately just one bad apple effects the whole barrel. So one bad man effects the whole population. “ - Varkens Willowbrook

“ Somedays, the wolf; he wins. He trots around my ribcage victorious as can be, but that's when he gets cocky, when he begins to get careless. So the half-winged angels in me swoop down like a reaper's scythe and banishes the wolf to the locked door in my mind; where all the horrors go to starve. “ - Salvatore Graham

“ Ever since my father first laid a fist against my mother's cheek justice breathed through me as if I were a vessel in which it could see. And I told justice that I would dare not go blind. “ - Salvatore Graham

“ I pick up this blade; knowing one day I must turn it on thyself. “ - Salvatore Graham

“ Oh you know me; just a child of the old night sky, singing the blues as sorrow passes me by with a mournful sort of smile, knowing I'll come back around to her place in a day or two. “ - Franco Jonwitz

“ I'm just cigarette smoke chasing trouble.” - Franco Jonwitz

“ I take this old hat from off my head and read the poems that've been scribed in my ribcage, sadness following the words and prose I speak to the empty night sky. I've been a boy of sorrow ever since ma and pa became graves, moving along to an old orphanage with the scent of sadness wafting from off my papa's old, white suit jacket, hands and tears hiding somewhere in the fabric of that coat. I hold pieces of him inside of my heart, pieces of my mother hidden inside of my smile; and I guess there's sumthin' beautiful about that, huh? “ - Franco Jonwitz

“ I must confess, I've named a few of the stars after the ghosts that follow me, praying that they can fly up to the sky and find Heaven. But here they remain in my mind; reminding me that with sorrow comes trouble, and with Franco Jonwitz comes the inevitable idea that death kills before ya die." - Franco Jonwitz

“ War rains heavy over the weary soldiers who didn't make it past the gunfire; the ones who survived selling themselves to this ideology that their sins were for some greater good. But trouble etches its way into the bones of all whom pulled a trigger in the name of glory, sin or their own self gain. “ - Terminus Hydra

“ I lost everything, my friend, so a sin I became. “ - Terminus Hydra

“ Random acts of violence are often the ones that drive a man halfway to insanity, and the acts of violence he chooses to commit are the ones that drive him the full mile. “ - Terminus Hydra

“ I am a bad man. Dare not let my past tell you otherwise. If the people I knew where to speak of who I was they'd say he was a loving man who didn't let his tragedy define him; but speak to my enemies and they'll spit my name like venom on their breath. Two men tell two very different stories. My father would say I am a man of honor, but an old friend would call me the serpent to his corrupted and decaying garden of Eden." - Terminus Hydra

“ These scars on my legs tell the tale of a girl who lost herself too early; and it seems I can't hide my history from peering and bloodshot eyes. “ - Mayell Da Ville

“ My son tells me that one day, when I realize that who I am is beautiful despite the scars I'll find the wings had always been in my mind rather then on my back. But these scars, these horrific scars; they prevent the wings from growing ever again. “ - Mayell Da Ville

“ Here lies Mayell Da Ville; the ghost who found life too late. “ - Mayell Da Ville

“ There's a wolf on my shoulder; snarlin' at the frontlines and tellin' me ta stain my rifle in the blood of the innocent, and with a grin dancin' with moonlight I head inta the shadows and play myself a little game of huntsman and the lion. “ - Dekiah Doorvenstail

“ My father raised me ta be a killer. You should expect nothing but the bang of my rifle. “ - Dekiah Doorvenstail

“ Once you get blood on your hands it begins ta grow like a garden in your chest. But there's sumthin' different about this haunted little flowerbed. You begin ta realize that your ribcage was once Eden, but slowly, as the blood trickled down your fingers, Adam and Eve started fleein', the angel of flamin' blade nothing more then your heart that slowly faded ta black and grey. And as the serpent slithers onta your shoulder, you begin ta realize temptation lives in the hearts of all man kind. And only a special few accept their primal urges ta become nuthin' but a slaughterhouse on a cold Sunday afternoon. “ - Dekiah Doorvenstail

“ We were never wolves, my friend. But fragile people with hearts that can break and minds that can scar easy, but dare not turn to the shadows for comfort. They hold a dagger in one hand; and they hide it in the crevices of their darkness.” - Sabu Thorn

“ I think that if one is to find peace within themselves, they must first find peace within their scars. “ - Sabu Thorn

“ Eons ago I lost my mind.” - God

“ They say that dead men tell no tales; so who will whisper the tale of humanity once I'm done with it? “ - God

“ Everyone's always saying God's not dead. He's with us he's with us! But as I come down from my heavenly throne; the blood of humanity staining my shawl of lies and secrets; you'll pray that I am. But all your prayers have fallen on listening ears friend; and yet they never come to fruition, do they? “ - God

“ In the face of evil; silence is compliance.” - Gustave X. Van Velk

“ They don't tell you that the fall is so easy. They don't tell ya that we're all one crooked grin away from violence; so I take a steady step forward and throw a fist or two towards the evil that sits violent in this town of unwelcome shadows. “ - Gustave X. Van Velk

“ I've always tried to understand the enemy; walk a mile or two in their shoes, but Milos' boots are just too damn heavy and stuck in the muck of his powerful identity. “ - Gustave X. Van Velk

“ My sanity peels away in whispers and shadows.” - Cartniza Harvester

“ The word safe is such a fucking lie; no one ever is. “ - Cartniza Harvester

“ I don't know why this heart beats like a slowly rotting flower.” - Mackton Stoneshire

“ They say this Queen of madness is a revolver's shadow standing above peace; and she is. Because as she walks down these halls my bones shiver with shadows and things you could never dream of. Because she's a nightmare in the head of the weary; grinning deviously before she sins another deadly sin. And as my eyes shift to the checkered floors of this old mental ward; I know she can sense my fear. “ - Mackton Stoneshire

“ I'm still stuck under these shadows that fog my mind; heart roaring empty in the ribcage of a coffin. “ - Rupen Schello

“ I can still remember the night flames erupted inside my home; they now flash like colored lights in my memory, my parents' smiles becoming nothing but a shadow I can no longer follow. “ - Rupen Schello

“ A man with a memory can never be free of his torment.” - Rupen Schello

“ Every choice I ever made led to the death of who I am.” - Mervin Gavinwood

“ I never meant to fall; but I was born with the belief that I had wings, and so I leapt from blinding heights expecting to soar. “ - Mervin Gavinwood

“ The day I killed a man is the day I died. As his skull cracked against the bar stool; groaning and dying in the most grotesque way who I am started bleeding from the corners of my eyes as those two devils beside me laughed and laughed and laughed. “ - Mervin Gavinwood

“ He sits in the edges of my memory like a crow just waiting for his murder to come on along.” - Mervin Gavinwood

“ I've just been trying to cope with this loss of who I am for a long time; clinging to memories of him like a blanket that keeps me warm. But there's holes in this wool blanket; letting the cold settle into my bones. “ - Carol Corin

“ I weep for a life never lived; a death already fated. “ - Hexi Moorenfowl

“ Every detective has got her case, right? The one that drives her halfway to insanity because things just aren't adding up. I tried so hard to find those girls, I tried so hard to find that man's wife. But in the end it was a cold case that never went warm. “ - Maryland Fainrick

“ Mysteries often end in tragedy.” - Maryland Fainrick

“ I woke up in a foreign bed wondering why a stranger looked at me in the mirror; that was when I died an unfamiliar death. Falling from the heights of a Heaven I never deserved. “ - Kiddy Wendellburn

“ I choked on who I am a long time ago. And I don't think I can ever swallow my truths; because they taste so fucking vile. “ - Kiddy Wendellburn

“ "When you realize who you are, it's your job to become that person. “ - Adrella Soderit

“ We're all dreamers trying to find our happily ever after despite the nightmares that find us in the light; but don't you think it's the way we react to this darkness that defines who we are? “ - Adrella Soderit

“ So do me a favor and accept yourself won'tcha? Even when everyone around you condemns who you are. Even if you gotta keep that acceptance a secret in a little jar until one day, you can let those torch bugs fly into the open air." - Adrella Soderit 

“ I don't know what one would call him. But he feasts on the sacrilege of identity and flesh, sinking his teeth into innocence as if it were a divine, juicy, blood dripping steak. I'm just the remnants of the girl I used to be, and as I remember his parched tongue against my skin a shive runs cold down my spine and my fighting instincts kick in. As if my mind is a clock forever running backwards. Minutes and hours mixed into a relived past. “ - Marlia Ferotosia

“ I remember his smile. Filled with teeth and unkempt flesh. “ - Marlia Ferotosia

“ I listened to her sorrows. Her troubles. Her secrets and confessions. But she was torn from this world much too early. And that is a sin a man like me can never forgive. “ - Zack Mordell

“ The old soul is supposed to fade before the young one. But fate is a very cruel mistress; dancing with those who don't know the rules to the deadly tango. “ - Zack Mordell

“ I'm a fading symphony wondering when my last notes will play out into the wind, but I keep singing. “ - Zack Mordell

“ Healing will come after the scars stop bleeding, so a little word of advice, don't stab those dagger like thoughts into your skin. “ - Cordemlia Munstwain

“ Some people say they aren't themselves, and I get that; sometimes it's difficult to admit that we're changing. Difficult to admit growth feels uncomfortable in the hurting mind. But eventually you'll grow into this new you. You'll find that it's often like a scab. It only forms to protect ya from the infection a wound leaves. “ - Cordemlia Munstwain

“ Some people say love at first sight don'it exist. And, I don't fink' it were love at first sight. But love at first spoken word. Love developed inside da poetry we spoke underneath da dyin' lights of the street. He's a broken man, but I built 'im new pieces and told 'im ta shimmer and shine like a star in the night sky; and it feels as though when I put a lovin' finger on 'is cheek dat he's started ta feel more human. As if 'e's no longer a whiskey stained ghost. “ - Daubellia O’Snair

“ Fate twists in some awfully strange ways, huh? You could be a normal, everyday girl, fighting hardly noticeable battles and then in the blink of an eye tragedy rips through the air like a bullet in your fucking teeth. “ - Alexia Hathorn

“ Sometimes you gotta make a choice. Live or die. And sometimes you'll do both.” - Alexia Hathorn

“ We're the scar ridden angels of Heaven, soaring on wings stitched with different pieces; like a quilt of many colors. We're not heroes, just people who got caught in the crossfire of a world roaring with evil. “ - Alexia Hathorn

“ Often people in pain's mind is fogged up from the hurt, and so they don't really know what they're doing, ya know? “ - Hispania Hopva

“ Death I've learned, stalks the living. “ - Hannisada Gravewit

“ You can't really cure addiction. It walks beside he or she who used. Like a ghost that doesn't know when or how to move on. Is it really that much to ask for a halfway decent mind? One that doesn't taunt me with the idea of one more fucking high? But I suppose it was my choice to accept that little baggie at a party, right? It was my idea to get addicted, right? That's what they always tell ya. They call the junkies and ghosts monsters of society, but damn it man, we've been victims all along. “ - Hannisada Gravewit

“ I tried to hide my scars under thick coats and heavy blankets, but I bled and soaked through those. So now here I stand. Naked and awfully vulnerable to my demons and ghosts." - Hannisada Gravewit

“ His insanity ripped me from my backbone when I was only a child. I can still remember the violence shattered between his knuckles, the anger on his cigarette snarl. I still remember the screams. The God awful screams. I've been trying to dream for a long time man, but these nightmares always plague the boy who never lived. The boy who never had the chance, to live. “ - Jonathan Enders

“ I just, I don't know how to escape these nightmares, man. Because that man's cruelty echoes in my mind; his smoke whispered anger booming through my thoughts. I was just a kid, man. But he stole that option from me when he put a bloodied finger to my lip and whispered that he was never here. Or when that old, boney skeleton beside him clasped two hands around my shoulder and whispered in a low, harsh voice that they were the boogeymen. And I believe that. Because the boogeyman is what goes bump in the night, right? And if there's anything that could be considered monster, I'd give the definition to them.” - Jonathan Enders

“ I take a fragile breath, hoping it doesn't rip through my throat like a bullet. “ - Jonathan Enders

“ I fought myself for such a long time only to realize the reflection had always been a friend. “ - Baila Von Cascia

“ Ya know how fate works, right? Ya meet one or two people and your whole world unravels. Sure. They're good people. You learn that they've become family somewhere along the road. But the villains you met alongside them just isn't worth it. “ - Joshua Houstella

“ I have fallen down this rabbit hole of oneself, gripping the roots of madness.” - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ I am nothing short of a sin. Nothing short of a monster masquerading as a woman. “ - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ This heart of mine has whispered in sin and death ever since my mother told me all of her secrets, the closet looking like a welcoming home where Narnia and all the lions would protect me. But fantasy has never been as cruel, and unpredictable as reality. For reality hides until the right moment. Waiting. Forever waiting. And one day it snatches you so unaware and drags you through the nightmares. Oh you may kick. You may scream. But you'll most certainly succumb. “ - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ Forever my friend, can last only a second as the white rabbit once said. And forever, has lasted too long for my angel." - Ingretta Shazowlla 

“ I speak my truths in barely audible whispers, screaming my lies at glass shattered levels. “ - Molly Chain

“ My lonely little mind is slathered in grey and blue paint, memories glossed over with thick layers of dark color. I've tried to peal away that wallpaper. But there's endless layers in this house, and I just don't know how much strength I've got left. “ - Molly Chain

“ There's blisters on my strength, and I fear I'm about to slip. “ - Molly Chain

“ All my life I've been afraid. Of myself. Of my father. Of the shadows that hid like monsters in my closet. And as I come to the realization that I will never escape my mind, I know that this is who I am. And she's such a broken girl. A wisped shadow of something great. “ - Clarice Sanchez

“ I honestly believe God started typing me up, but he left to work on something greater and left me an unfinished piece of poetry, as if my prose bleed into the way fate unravels and twists. “ - Clarice Sanchez

“ My peace of mind bleeds from the holes in my heart. “ - Clarice Sanchez

“ From what I know cruelty is the last guillotine, and we're just whittlin' down the rope, wonderin' when it'll snap and fall down on humanities head. “ - Leone Kassophic

“ God's voice is echoed through violence.” - Leone Kassophic

“ If my sins were tangible, would I bleed upon contact? “ - Darkin Vagabond

“ Truthfully I am not me. Just a graveyard symphony ringing like the funeral bell, revolver held in one hand, regrets held feebly in the other.” - Darkin Vagabond

“ I look to the star painted sky and wonder what prayers he's been answering, which whispers screamed the loudest. “ - Zelene Clifforde

“ I am a lover at heart, wishing poetry and words spoken could heal the damage of war. And truthfully, that is the only way to stop a war. You speak to the enemy with a certain understanding. You try to discover who they are past the violence shattered between their bruised and bloodstained knuckles." - Zelene Clifforde

“ I am a gentle soul at heart, but alas, I sharpen my claws and go to war like a sinner who doesn't know when to quit, like an old, tattered wolf who wishes to quit all the bloodshed. “ - Yngvir Alvisson

“ Often I wonder if this heart should just quit feeling. Quit letting the blood stain it like a memory that shalt not be forgotten. But I pick up my heart, and I shove it fragile and broken back inside my ribcage. For to become a beast, my friend, is the loneliest achievement of all. “ - Yngvir Alvisson

“ Way I see it. Hate is a revolver. These men and women fill their chamber with all the good pieces of themselves, firing off for a cause that never mattered, something that shouldn't even exist. “ - Jaspello Crosshair

“ In every sense of the word I'm the hero I needed when I was a kid. “ - Jaspello Crosshair

“ Take life one step at a time, second by second, minute by minute. Eventually the storm will pass you by. Sometimes it feels as though you're not gonna make it, but that's the kind of thing tragedy whispers, it tells you lies in an attempt to weaken your resolve. “ - Chris Shaw

“ Debby and I treat life like a workout. We breathe in. We breathe out. We face it head on and don't let the idea of pain stop us. “ - Chris Shaw

“ I was just a farm girl lookin' for a happily ever after, but that wicked and damned man stole the light from me layer by layer. It's as if he carved pieces 'a me off 'a my skin, whisper by whisper, sin by unnatural sin. “ - Ellen Duster

“ There's so many pieces 'a me missin' nowadays. “ - Ellen Duster

“ Redemption is a sunset, and it jus' don' ever rise." - Ellen Duster

“ I tried to build a paper boat and drift away from my prison cell, but the storm started howling in my mind and I fell off the side, clutching the paper rafts and oars, wondering why this is how life drowned me. Some men drown in whiskey. Others drown in sorrow. But all I ever drowned in was the tragedy of being someone I'm not. “ - Isaac Abernathy

“ If a lie fits the powerful man's agenda, he'll do anything he can to make that lie a truth, or at least make it appear as such. “ - Jacob Abernathy

“ I can still remember how that man told me that we'd save the world together, that as the bombs started going off, we'd be the men history looked at and said, "Well done, heroes, you did it." But as I watched the world fall asunder, my heroes heart fading into a broken one, I knew that all the man did was lie to my good nature, and it was on that day, unaware, I bit into the sacrilege of false revolution. “ - Jacob Abernathy

“ I was just a girl without shadows in her mind until I stumbled into a rabbit hole of Godhood and the way blood spills on the arena floor. And as I fell, little pieces of me being carved off by the blade of a malicious God, I knew that I must have more of this undying pleasure. “ - Sonata Vickowinter

“ I'm just a broken bottle angel who forgot his wings on the downward descent.” - Ash Caesar

“ Often I say I'm better off dead, because this man I am is hardly worth a damn, let alone two cents and a nickel, so I glug down another bottle of whiskey and let my little sister down one more fucking time. “ - Ash Caesar

“ I always say I'll change, but everyone else is running a marathon, and here I am, standing stagnant at the starting line. I dare not cross that line in the sand. Because I'm scared of the regret, the shadows, the way my mother's words echo in the ones I scream. “ - Ash Caesar

“ Truth is, I can still remember the way my mother's open palm felt against my cheek, or how her wine glass felt shattered against my noggin. But those glass pieces of her addiction bleed into me. “ - Ash Caesar

“ All I see in the mirror is a man who fell so cruelly away from himself, and as my sister reached for my hand, I let it slip. And all she could do was watch as this regretful Icarus laughed in the flames." - Ash Caesar

“ I have found, that I am the single black rose in the garden, sitting idle like a warning of what will come if you step towards this black petaled beast, this decaying flower of cruelty. “ - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I am a tired beast. “ - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I was once in an empty room. Love knocked, oh how she knocked gently, so softly. As if it were a song that whispered into my ear. But hate drove her away. He knocked, he knocked, oh how rage filled his fist boomed against the door. With tears rolling down my cheeks I let him in. He stole the blankets from off the bed and wrapped them around my throat, choking me with the violence inside of my heart. And ever so cruelly, I became a black, withered, and deadly rose." - Madam Stephanie Rose

“ I sink ever familiar into this garden of decay, praying that someone will save me from the blood on my hands I speak of like darkened poetry. But death, was never a story. Only a harsh sin ridden reality I've given to so many others. How strange is it, that death is the end of reality, but also one in of itself? “ - Mike Duster

“ I'm a man of many sins. “ - Mike Duster

“ I slowly flay myself from my own skin, screaming, forever screaming. I carve another layer of me from off my skin. I subject myself to the meat hook and try so desperately to bleed all the darkness from the crevices of me, but alas, to bleed myself from the darkness would be to bleed all of me away. For all that runs through me is dark, twisted and unfamiliar. “ - Mike Duster

“ The truth, does not whisper, my friend. It screams.” - Ava Callenwillow

“ Secrets stick to me, and more often than not they take over my identity, pulling me into the depths of another shadow, another mystery with my name written all over it. I've been running from fate for a long time, finding ways to avoid this noose around my neck for years, but one day the stable ground beneath me will collapse. And I'll be nothing but history. “ - Ava Callenwillow

“ Wherever I go, death tends to follow like a loyal wolf whom sits at my bedside, howling to the blood red moon that is my wicked and decaying heart. “ - Tezilda Vaxweed

[theonewiththefanfics]

So Close And Still So Far (one-shot)

Synopsys: Love can be the best and the worst thing ever. Especially when you have to let it go. Especially when you’re so close to that happily ever after.

Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

Warnings: talk of death, injuries, hospitals, Bucky’s just generally a sad boi 

Genre: angst, boiiiii so much angst, lil bit of fluff in the end

Word count: 3933

Inspired by ‘So Close’ from Enchanted; give it a listen while reading :)

You're in my arms And all the world is gone The music playing on For only two

       She looked just as beautiful as before. Ethereal. Relaxed. Glowing. Bucky practically sprinted towards Y/N, wrapping her in his arms and lifting her from the ground, her warm body pressing tightly against his, filling his soul with happiness and love once more.        “I missed you, sweetheart,” he mumbled in Y/N’s skin kissing her collarbones before turning her head so that their lips could meet. The satisfied sigh she released made Bucky shudder in relief. Way too long had they been separated.        “You’re just as beautiful as I remember,” he whispered pulling back, cerulean eyes roaming all over her form making her scoff.        “Oh, stop it, James, my hair probably looks like a mess,” Y/N chuckled, hiding her face in the crook of his neck.        “No,” he shook his head. “You’re perfect like always.”        “I missed you too,” she replied letting her frame go lax in his strong hands. She knew he’d hold her up no matter what. “Thought about you every day.”        Sighing she pulled back cupping his cheeks. “How’ve you’ve been? How are the others? Tell me everything.”

So close together And when I'm with you So close to feeling alive

       “Well, Peter just started MIT,” Bucky said keeping Y/N in his hold, a hand weaving into her hair and playing with a Y/H/C strand of it, as she listened. “Pep and Tony finally decided on a name. Lillian, though Morgan’s not too happy.”        Y/N’s eyebrows scrunched up, and she snorted. “Why?”        “Cause she wanted her sister to be called ‘not-the-favourite’.”        She missed Morgan. And Tony. And Pepper. The three of them had become her make-shift family during the five years after Thanos’ snap.        Bucky was gone, leaving her all on her own, and Y/N couldn’t bear to look at Steve or Nat, the vivid image of her James disintegrating right in front of her brought back like a lightning strike.        So, she’d asked Tony if he’d be okay with her staying in the little guest house they had by the lake. She wasn’t too sure if he’d even want to look at her, given how Y/N had been part of Team Cap during that whole Civil War thing, but when the genius had pulled her in for a bone-crushing hug, she knew the past was in the past for them. Now they had to start building a future.        “Morgan asked me to tell you she misses your cakes,” Bucky chuckled, and after a pause, he added, “I miss them too.”        “I miss baking them for you, even though the two of you are the worst sous-chefs on planet Earth!”        Bucky gasped putting a hand against his chest in mock hurt. “How dare you!”        Y/N shrugged unable to keep the large smile off her face. “Depends, is Nebula back or still off-world?”        He chuckled and grinned. “Still off-world.”        “Then it’s settled,” her lips skimmed against his as she spoke. “You’re the worst.”

A life goes by Romantic dreams must die So I bid mine goodbye And never knew

       He didn’t mind being the worst. As long as he got to be hers.        “I’m gonna marry you someday,” Bucky stated not once breaking eye contact, not even when Y/N’s breath hitched.        “James…” she tilted her head, and he knew what she was going to say. It was always the same thing over and over again. When she said his real name, he always knew what to expect. “Don’t do that. Don’t do this to yourself. You know why it can’t happen.”        His hold on her palms tightened. “But it will. I promised you. I’ll get you a beautiful ring, and then we’ll get married, just the two of us, nothing fancy, and we’ll get a little apartment together somewhere away from the city… I promised.”        Y/N gave him a sad smile. “I know. But sometimes it’s alright not to fulfil a promise. Especially when I’m the one standing in the way.”

So close was waiting, waiting here with you And now forever I know... All that I want is to hold you so close

       “You’re not standing in the way of anything,” Bucky shook his head with a frown on his face like he couldn’t understand what Y/N was saying. “This is just a minor hiccup. Sometimes life happens, but we’ll figure something out.”        Yet the nod she gave him didn’t make it seem like she believed him.

So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this one's not pretend And now you're beside me, and look how far we've come

       “Everything’s just not the same without you around,” his voice had dropped and gotten shakier. Y/N knew it meant Bucky was on the verge of breaking apart, so she held onto him tighter.        “You know I’m always with you,” she whispered, placing a hand over his heart. “Right here. Always.”        “It’s just… the bed’s cold… and Steve doesn’t make my coffee the way you can… home’s not home without you.”        She nodded and closed her eyes reminiscing on the way too early mornings when the Captain would wake Bucky up and her with it for their usual 5 AM runs. Begrudgingly they’d slink out of bed, Y/N wrapped in her boyfriend’s grasp as they made their way to the kitchen and b-lined for the coffee machine.        Two shots of espresso, a dash of cocoa powder and cinnamon and caramel infused milk. Bucky swore by the cavity-inducing drink.        “It’s almost like Christmas in a cup,” he’d sigh leaning against the countertop giving Y/N a grateful smile. “And I fucking love it.”

So far, we are so close Oh how could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now?

       “You know that the one thing I want most is to come home,” Y/N said, and Bucky nodded. Her gentle palm rested against Bucky’s cheek, and he let the tears flow. He knew what she was about to say. “It’s time to wake up, James…”        “I know,” he said taking in a shuddering breath. “But when I do, you won’t be there.”        Y/N gave him a sad smile. “I know. But you can’t keep living in a dream. You gotta move on,” she leaned her forehead against his; Bucky tightened his grip on her waist. “You gotta let me go and live.”        He scoffed pulling away a bit. “You’re talking as if I’m not trying to get you back, like you don’t believe in me.”        “But that’s the thing,” Y/N bit her lip finally meeting his eyes. “I don’t want you to.”        “Wh-what?”        “I’m tired James,” she sighed. “I’m tired of holding on. I just want to… I just want to let go… but I can’t until you let me go first.”

We're so close to reaching that famous happy end

       “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” Y/N breathed, and Bucky let out a nervous chuckle. His heart felt as if it was about to slam out from his chest.        “That’s never a good sign.”        “I’m a prisoner in my own mind, James…” He understood what she meant. Better than anyone. “I can’t take much longer.”        “But,” he stumbled over his words, brain unable to process what Y/N’s words implied, what she wanted him to do. “There’s still a chance! I’m talking to you right now!”        “While my body’s wasting away!”        “We’ll find a cure,” he growled. “I’ll wake you up! I promised I would!”        “But I don’t want you to... Please, Buck… just let me go… this isn’t a life. And I can see it’s killing you as well…” her heart hurt to say it. “It’s been three years, James… it’s time to let me go.”        He shook his head, gripping onto her hips tighter. But they weren’t her hips, were they? It was just the representation of how she’d seen herself last in the mirror before a poison had entered her system and put her in a coma.        In real life, her hair had lost all of its shine, she hadn’t smiled in forever and hadn’t so much as moved a muscle. This was just all in her head. Alone with herself and no one else apart from when her Bucky came.        “I can’t,” he said letting tears slip down his cheeks. “I can’t lose you. If this is the only way I can be with you, so be it. I’ll take what I can get… I don’t want to let you go…”        “But what about what I want?” that made him stop his pleading, made him look at Y/N.        She wasn’t angry or upset, in fact, her eyes were understanding because if the roles were reversed, she’d fight until her very last breath to keep Bucky with her. “Tony has another kid, Morgan’s already in second grade, Steve got married to Nat, and Peter's in university… I’ve missed so much already, and it’s excruciating having to listen to it happen and not be there. I’m tired of listening life pass me by…”        “One more month,” Bucky pleaded. “Please, give me one more time… if only to see you… to say goodbye…”        By the bite of her lip and the tears brimming at her lashes, he knew Y/N had made her mind up. “This is goodbye… Tonight, James… I want you to do it tonight.”        “No,” he gasped, “it’s too soon. I ca-can’t!”        “Hey, this is not forever,” Y/N whispered to him pressing a kiss below his ear, and even though she wasn’t there, Bucky swore he felt it. “We’ll see one another, sarge. Just… we’ll just have to wait a little longer for our happy ever after… I’ll wait for you…”        And it was as if she knew his hour was up. With a last press of her lips against his, Bucky was pulled back into the reality and out of her mind.

Almost believing this one's not pretend

       An hour a month, that’s how much he’d been allowed to spend with Y/N inside her head. More than that and there was a huge possibility he’d never come back. An hour a month for three years. Bucky had never wanted to cross that threshold than he did at that moment if it meant staying with his love.        “How’s she doin’?” Shuri asked taking off the intricately designed helmet with the connectors that allowed his and Y/N's consciousnesses to be linked and double-checking his vitals. “What did she say?”        Bucky just shook his head and hid his face in his palms letting sobs wreck his body. He couldn’t say it out loud. That meant solidifying her words as the truth.        “She wants us to stop,” he finally choked out after a full-blown meltdown wiping a palm down his face and pushing back his hair, knitting his fingers into the brown locks, hoping that the small amount of pain on his scalp would wake him up from the nightmare.        “Stop what?” Tony asked for a clarification as fear gripped his chest. He knew without him saying it, but needed to hear it.        “Stop searching for a cure… and she wants us to pull the plug.”

Let's go on dreaming, though we know we are

       Those were the last words Bucky was able to get out before a screaming match started in Y/N’s hospital room. Tony, Wanda, Rhodey and even Steve and Sam supported the girl’s wishes, while Natasha, Clint, Vision, Thor, Peter and Scott were completely against it. They wanted to get Bruce’s opinion in as well, but he’d locked himself in the lab for the last couple of months completely isolating himself.        “You can’t be serious, Tony!” Natasha screamed. “You of all people! She’s like your kid, you said it yourself! And now you’re okay with pulling the trigger?”        Bucky watched as the man who used to be Iron Man, the person who saved the world by almost giving up his, hung his head in defeat. He had lost this time, and it hurt more than anything. “It’s what Y/N wants. And we have to respect that.”        “It’s bullshit, that's what it is!” Nat leaned over Y/N’s face hot tears splashing onto her friend’s face. “It’s bullshit, Y/N, you hear me?! Bullshit!”        “You don’t know what it’s like for her,” Bucky choked out, the inside of his throat feeling as if it was stuffed with cotton from all the tears. “She’s all alone except for a few hours a month. That’s not a life.”        Nat scoffed. “How can you say that? You love her! How can you be okay with this?!”        “Exactly!” he sneered. “I love her, and she’s suffering! Do you think I’m happy with what she wants us to do? Do you think I enjoy knowing she’ll never wake up again? That her death will be on me?” he stood up towering over the redhead. “I promised I’d protect her! I promised her we’d find a way to get her back after that fucking mission went sideways, I promised her!”        Suddenly it was like all the fight left him, and he crumpled down onto the floor, resting himself against the wall. Bucky was in a fetal position, no sign of the once menacing Winter Soldier anymore. “And when those two,” he motioned with his head to Shuri and Tony, “when they found a way to speak with her… when they figured out a way for us to communicate, I thought I’d finally be able to do it… I could bring her back…” Bucky looked over at Nat who hadn’t removed her gaze from Y/N.        They were best friends. She had been the closest thing Natasha had had to a family before joining the Avengers. They’d escaped the Red Room together, they’d stuck with one another through thick and thin, and when Clint had been sent to kill the Black Widow, Y/N had put him in a chokehold. Had it not been for Nat telling her it was fine; the archer would’ve found himself with his head twisted 180.        Then the Snap had happened, and it had pulled them apart. Natasha wanted to fight, but Y/N was barely functioning after seeing Bucky disappear, so the thought that she’d have to let her friend go, her family, her sister go after finally getting her back for just a year was unbearable.        “She’s tired, Tasha,” Bucky muttered looking over to where Y/N peacefully slept. If there would’ve been another time he’d go and see her, she most definitely would berate him about all of the yelling. But there wouldn't. “She just wants to rest.”        He saw a translucent pearl splat onto the hand Natasha was holding. “But we’re so close. I can feel it…”

So close, so close, and still so far…

       “Maybe,” he shrugged and stood up, moving over to stand next to the person who had stolen his heart. Gently, like she was made of the thinnest of porcelain, he brushed his fingers against her cheek. One last time. “But she doesn’t want to fight anymore. And her pain is on us if we let this continue.”        That settled it.        “When?” Nat choked out, head turning to the side, but not looking directly at Bucky.        He shuddered but let the word out. “Tonight.”        The rest of the day passed in a blur as Tony signed forms with Bucky sitting next to him, trying to dictate what Y/N had said word-for-word, so when she passed, they wouldn’t be charged with anything. It was a unique situation they were in, being able to communicate with someone in a coma like that, but even their tech wasn’t as advanced as to record what happened inside her mind.        Bucky watched the red and gold titanium alloy that was permanently attached to Tony’s right side, the brutal scarring he’d gotten after wielding the stones. Had it not been for Quill’s quick thinking of making a human chain to dispel the power of the Gauntlet and Captain Marvel’s strength as she held back Thanos, they wouldn’t have won. Now it seemed to Bucky maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad of an idea to lose. Not when the cost of living came with losing their loved ones.        “Did she uh,” Tony struggled to voice his thoughts, “did she say what she wanted us to do with her body?”        “No,” Bucky shook his head. “Didn’t have time for that, and everyone else has already used their quota of the month, so I guess that’s up to us… but she always did love the lake… At your house. Said it was the best place to go and think.”        Tony just nodded unable to express his feelings with such mundane things as words.        The night came faster than anyone wanted and slowly people trickled inside the room that had been Y/N’s home for the past three years.        No one said a thing, just looked at the woman, and gave their last goodbyes silently, as Pepper brushed away a strand of hair from her face and stood up to stand next to everyone else. Even T’Challa and Okoye had flown all the way from Wakanda to be there and help support their princess and friends. How they’d announce her passing to the rest was beyond Bucky, but they’d fight one battle at a time.        “Can I be there?” Bucky asked, grasping onto Y/N’s hand and tracing it with his thumb. “With her? I don’t want her to be alone.”        “I’m sorry, but no,” Shuri shook her head looking at Tony with a sombre face. “If you’re inside her mind when it happens, you won’t get out.”        He almost said that’s what he wanted but stopped before the words got out of his mouth. If he did it, Y/N would never forgive him. Right as he was about to sit down next to her, he looked over where Tony flipped a switch, and his heart dropped.        “What are you doing?” Not yet, not yet, not yet!        Tony removed his hand from the machine, and all the beeping stopped. “There’s no need to hear it.”        It was completely silent, apart from a few sniffles here and there. Everyone was trying to keep it together as much as possible, if only for the look of it, but on the inside, their hearts were being shredded and ripped apart by the sharpest of scissors.        From the corner of his eye, Bucky noticed the breathing machine stop, the trickle of the IV system halt, and her chest no longer rose. It was a matter of minutes now.        “You were so brave, sweetheart,” he whispered to Y/N, giving her a teary-eyed smile, at least soothed by the thought she’d no longer be in pain and alone. “So, so brave… It’s okay to let go,” he nodded to her giving one final kiss to the back of her palm. “You can rest now… no more fighting…”        The line went flat, and like his heart, Bucky broke.

***

       For a moment no one moved, no one even dared to take a breath. Tony glanced over at Shuri, who gave him a nod. He moved closer, a little flashlight in hand as well as a pen to double-check Y/N’s responses, to be able to call the time of death when the door to her room slammed open.        Nat had her gun out immediately but lowered it when a frantic Bruce rushed over to Y/N’s side.        “Plug her back in!” he shouted, and Shuri did as told, switching the machines back to life and once again everything was beeping and hissing everything turning frantic.        Nat’s head whipped to the side. “Bruce?”        “What is that?” Bucky asked as the doctor frantically uncapped a syringe and pushed it into the system that was still attached to Y/N’s arm and once again flowing.        “The super-soldier serum.”        Even Tony was stunned. “The whatnow?”        “On a whim, I decided to combine Barnes’ blood sample he gave before a mission with the clean poison we extracted from Y/N’s system. The serum rebuffed it pretty much immediately,” he gave a quick glance around and lowered his gaze back to the woman in the bed, narrowing his focus in on her. It had to work.        “I’ve been trying to recreate the serum for the past year and a half. All I had to go by was the little bit in the blood, but I finally got it… and no gamma radiation was needed,” he tried to crack a joke, and it kinda worked.        Nat’s lip quirked up, and she loosened the grip she had around her husband’s bicep, but that’s when she noticed how ashen he had gone. Steve was completely still, body taken over by pure shock. “You mean to tell us that a fucking blood transfusion would’ve worked? She could’ve been saved years ago?!”         Before Bruce could say something Bucky spoke breathlessly as he searched for any sign of life in Y/N’s face and body. “No. Neither of us has the correct blood type. It probably would've worsened everything.”        He’d never seen his friend so close to passing out. The amount of guilt the revelation would put on the Captain most definitely would destroy him, and in a sense, Bucky was happy that hadn’t been the answer. Besides, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if that had been the case, and he had let this happen.        Bucky was on the verge of hysteria, uncontrollably shaking and crying, squeezing Y/N’s palm in his own. “Baby,” he breathed out. “Please!”        That’s when it happened. As if his voice, his plea had been the magic spell, her fingers twitched in his palm, squeezing back; her hold became stronger and stronger with every passing moment until she ripped her hand out of his and wrapped it around her neck.        “Get that tube out of her!” Bucky yelled at no one in particular, but Tony seemed to have had the same mindset, as he gently grabbed her under her neck, Pepper slipping one hand around the girl's right side and Shuri took hold of Y/N’s left, letting Bruce untape the breathing tube.        “You’re gonna have to cough real hard for us, Y/N,” he informed the girl, hoping she heard him, and when he noticed a small nod, he gave the rest the heads up to keep her weak body steady and not let go.        Bucky never thought he’d cry from happiness seeing Y/N cough her soul out, but when she was done, when they tenderly lowered her back onto the bed, Tony attached a mask to her face letting her pull in shuddering breaths of her own.        “James?” Y/N rasped. Her throat was on fire from three years of not using it, but it was a melody, a perfect symphony to the soldier’s ears.        “I’m right here, sweetheart…" he was right next to her and holding her hand in an instant. "I told you we weren’t giving up… that we’d figure out a way. I promised, didn’t I?”        Finally, finally her lashes fluttered, and she opened her eyes to meet his already swimming behind a wall of tears. He'd never loved the color Y/E/C more than he did in that moment. “Yeah, you did… so, say what you really wanna say…”        Bucky almost chocked on his own laughter, as he leaned to hover over the girl, his hair tickling her cheeks. Fuck, did it feel amazing to have her look back at him. “I was right.”       And when she beamed at him, Bucky’s lips broke into his own grin before he pulled the mask away, and her in a long-overdue kiss. “And I’m so fucking glad you were.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn't take):

Marvel tags: @nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @pizzarollpatrol @desir-ae

Forever tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28

Bucky tag list: @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn @projectxhappiness @callmebucky-doll @coal000 @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken @sophiealiice @raquelbc2003 @watch-out-for-thorns @potentially-kinetic @thatonegirljessy99 @proxinge @bbkenna @buckysclub @ulired @fangirlofeverythingbasically @mrsalh32611 @horrorx570ximagines @the-nargles-made-me-do-it @pooslie @itsisabelanotisabella @httpmcrvel @purplebananatragedy @pxrrishly @parker-barnes-af @skulliebythesea @california-grown @stevehesaidabadlanguageword @belongsto-prachi

A/N: I missed writing for ma boi :)

Also, posting again, cause my Bucky tags ain’t working so I’m hoping maybe this time it will, though they haven’t been working for quite some time now >:(((

P.S. my tags are always open :)

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

everyone shut the fuck up and CONSIDER trans girl iida

she supposes she always knew unconsciously that there was something different about her but she never rlly put much thought into it until some ppl in the class come out as trans* (like aoyama’s genderfluid, tokoyami’s a demiboy, nd tsu and jirou are trans girls)

and as class rep, but also (and arguably more importantly) their friends, iida wants to make sure she can make them as comfortable as possible abt coming out so she does some research nd stuff. like she knew trans people existed and were valid nd such before but she wanted to get more than just the basic facts

and shes happy for her friends! shes glad they trusted their class enough to tell them, shes glad she can be there for them. but she also notices that she feels rlly...weird? and she keeps doing research just because.......its interesting. but she doesnt know why she finds it so interesting?? and she gets kinda insecure abt that

so she keeps diggin into it and reads posts that trans ppl have made abt their experiences and just classic shitposts nd all that. she thinks the community is great!! and also she finds some fresh wholesome memes to share w her friends so its all the better. right?

but eventually she finds a community of trans girls specifically and she just absolutely COMBS through that. reads every single post there that she can find. but coincidentally she also feels even more insecure now bc shes starting to unconsciously question her gender nd stuff and lets be real folks. an identity crisis is not fun

couple this with the fact that she doesnt experience the traditional dysphoria(tm) that other trans girls seem to universally share, iida gets rlly down abt it. nd it gets to the point she rlly raaaaags on herself for still lookin thro these posts nd stuff and still subtly questioning herself and shes just rlly unhappy at the time :[

nd she doesnt wanna like make tsu or jirou uncomfortable so she doesnt wanna ask them abt it but shes so confused nd frankly hurt and she doesnt know what going oooonnnn with herself

so shes just in this complete funk for a while nd it starts to affect her grades and performance in training. her friends know smths up but iida doesnt know how to even explain how shes feeling so its not necessarily that she doesnt WANT to go to her friends but she literally does not know how to. anyway eventually aizawa keeps her after class and is like “ok iida smths up im gonna call tensei if u dont talk to me”

iida feels absolute HORROR at the prospect of tensei somehow finding out abt this bc oh shit what if he doesnt want her carrying on the name of ingenium anymore??? what if he thinks shes a freak??? what if he thinks shes not really a girl and shes just faking it to be special?? what if- and oh shit thats the first time iida rlly consciously thought to herself “im a girl but what if others dont think i am?”

so she kinda bursts into tears and aizawa internally is like “oh jesus what the fuck” but externally hes like “iida?? r u ok?? was it something i said?? oh fuu- is something wrong with tensei??” and iida just kinda speaks thro her cries like “no nothings wrong with tensei something’s wrong with me” and ill be real folks its real sad girl hours for a bit

anyway iida doesnt rlly elaborate much beyond that bc shes so ashamed and embarrassed but aizawa is like “u’ve gotta talk to someone iida ur friends r worried and frankly i am as well” and iida eventually promises to talk to someone

soo she comes to terms that since she so confused it would be best to ask tsu and jirou abt it even if shes,,,,so v concerned,,,abt making them uncomfortable. but she manages to convince herself that she rlly does need some guidance here and better to ask ppl who know her than ask on the internet sooo

thankfully while iida is working up the courage to ask tsu and jirou to talk, she finds posts derailing terf and truscum shit so she feels. a lot lot better abt everything but particularly the lack of any intense dysphoria she had after reading stuff like that, esp the more verified(tm) articles from the more verified(tm) authors (like doctors and psychoneurologists and such)

so she figures out how she wants to word her questions nd asks tsu nd jirou to meet up. tsu nd jirou agree right away bc all of class 1-a is worried abt their class rep at this point :[ so theyre happy shes finally reaching out

iida is kinda a disaster when tryin to talk but she gets her point across. like “uhh this is a rlly bad way to ask but how did u guys know u were,,,trans?” nd tsu immediately catches on but jirou is only a lil suspicious until further into the conversation

anyway eventually jirou catches on the same as tsu and thats when tsu asks “iida do u think ur trans??”

nd iida is sooooooooo tired of feeling ashamed bc damn. she does think shes trans! she does. she shouldnt feel guilty for how she feels she cant help that. so after takin a moment to steel herself she says “yea” as confidently as one can in the situation

tsu nd jirou r immediately supportive nd ask iida for more details abt how shes feeling nd iida is just,,,so happy,, since shes already on an honesty streak that afternoon, shes able to roughly get her wack emotions into words nd tsu and jirou are like “yea thats valid ur valid iida. it doesnt matter if u dont have the trademark dysphoria or that u didnt know until later in life like ur still young. u say ur a girl, ur a girl” iida cries but only a bit bc damn months of agonizing over this. we stan one trans girl trio.........

anyway tsu and jirou ask her how she wants to move forward i.e. transitioning or telling anyone, and iida hadnt even considered transitioning before bc it felt so out of reach but shes absolutely ECSTATIC at the thought of bein able to look more feminine and it Shows. tsu and jirou r like “ok mood we were like that too right before startin estrogen”

so the first unofficial trans girl trio club meeting ends w tsu and jirou promising to help iida ask recovery girl abt hormones and iida sayin she doesnt want to come out just yet to the class/anyone else in general and tsu and jirou respectin that. i love them yall

anyway after a few months, iida is ready to try hormone treatment so tsu and jirou help her ask recovery girl for a meeting nd r moral support for her while they go thro the process of like figuring out what dosage she should start w/, how long should she take it, when a check up appointment should be, if recovery girl should tell iida’s parents yet or nah, all that stuff. anyway after that,  recovery girl gets her started on hormone treatment which iida is SUPER EXCITED abt and tsu and jirou tell her stories abt when they first started estrogen and AHHH I LOVE MY GIRLS SO MUCH FUCK

anyway eventually after some support from tsu and jirou via the unofficial trans girl club meetings and getting back on her feet confidence-wise, iida comes out to the class :,,,]]] theyre all super supportive and iida cries just a bit. tsu and jirou r so proud of her. aizawa is just glad his problem child #9 is feeling better

ashido and yaoyorozu get together and take iida shopping so she can have more feminine clothes which iida has a lot of fun w......shes never been necessarily big on shopping before (even if she is a part of the rich kid’s club lmao) but this trip is so EXCITING and ashido and momo r so happy for her and so ESCATIC to help her find some clothes and just oh my heart.......

the girls also have a sleepover during which they indoctrinate iida on all things traditionally feminine like makeup nd hair so that she knows the basics should she ever wanna mess arnd with that stuff. but also they just have fun doin normal things and just include iida in on being one of the gals nd iida is,,,so happy. tsu and jirou in particular r arnd her the whole night and wow my uwus they own them the unofficial trans girl club owns my uwus-

anyway so coming out and being accepted and transitioning is going so much better than iida thought it would be. she feels so safe and happy im crying.....anyway eventually some time later iida also gets permission to visit her family during a long weekend/short holiday w/e. nd while there she shakily but steadily comes out to her fam ofc her parents r so proud (her mom’s like ‘’ive always wanted a daughter yes!!! ily tenya’’) and tensei loves her all the same nd she cries a lil bit bc damn,,,,,,shes been fearing the exact opposite reaction for months

specifically she talks to tensei abt it for a little while and mentions her particular fears abt not being good enough to carry on the name “ingenium” nd he smiles at her nd is like “i would rather no one else but my little sister to carry on the name of ingenium” and bruh shes absolutely floored

nd yea. midoriya and uraraka absolutely love love love iida shes still their absolute fav. she joins the unofficial class 1-a trans* club as well as accidentally forms the unofficial class 1-a trans girl club. we love her,,,,

but yeah thats it. this post is so fucking long but oh well. stan iida!

[tiava143]

Baby Boy

Chapter II (Highkey long)

Chapter 1

“So what you tryna do while mommy’s at work pop?” Erik said looking over at his son.

“Can we go to the park and hoop with CJ and cousin Cameron please?” Sage said. He enjoyed being around his cousin CJ since he was close to his age. CJ was Cameron’s oldest son, they had their kids around the same time so they are always around each other.

“Lemme see where they at.” Erik said dialing Cam’s number.

Erik shook his head chuckling, thinking about his crazy ass cousin Cameron.They were known as the Demon Twins when were together.(Let Solana and Terry tell it) Cameron is the loud outgoing smooth talker, while Erik was seen but not heard as much. But don’t think for one second they would let something happen to one another. People know not to test Erik but anyone that tries Cameron better move out of the country. They went to juvie together, hit their licks together. Shit they even had their kids together. They were thick as thieves, since they were youngins if you seen one you seen the other. Even though they were cousins ,they were brothers to outsiders.

“If you aint talkin’ money, ion wanna talk its Big Cam the p, what it be?” Cameron yelled in the phone.

“Get yo’ dusty ass up nigga. Ima come scoop you and jr we finna’ hit the park.” Erik laughed as he turned onto his block.

“Fuck you nigga that aint what ya’ baby mama said when i was in ha’ chest last night.” Cameron laughed. “Nigga dont shot, playin’ with my best friend name.” Erik heard his girlfriend Terry say over the phone. “Im just playin’ ma. But ight fool, gimme 10.”

“Hurry yo lanky ass up, we burnin’ daylight.”  Erik said hanging up and pulling in front of his cousin’s house. Sage got out the car and ran to the door and CJ answered the door to let them in.

“What’s the deal lil cuzzo?” Erik said walking into the house dapping him then sat on the couch. Sage and CJ ran into his room  to play video games. Terry came out the room and hugged Erik.

“Hey E. Why you up so early ?” She said walking into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast.

“Wassup squirt, I had to drop yo’ crazy ass best friend off at work. You know she stay on my ass about everything.” He said chuckling.

“Well if you just did what the fuck we ask then we wouldn’t be sweatin’ you all the time. Y'all just don’t fuckin’ listen. Just like ya hard headed cousin.” Terry said rolling her eyes and mixing the pancake batter.

“TJ I do listen to her, everytime some shit happens at her job I’m the listening to her rant all fuckin’ night about it.” He said shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m not talking about just that one time E. I mean listen like understand the shit we say and take it into consideration, not just listen as the words go through one ear and out the fucking other. We wanna feel like were valued. Not just a damn object yall fuck on. You wanna degrade and manipulate bitches you better go get Becky with the good hair, because us black queens aint finna deal with it.Periodt.” She ranted while pouring the batter on the skillet.

“Aw shit you done got her ass started.Every time you come over here she starts” Cameron said walking into the living room holding his 9 month on daughter Chanel. He daps Erik and hands Chanel to him then walks in the kitchen. Erik rocks her to sleep then lays her in her crib.

“Don’t even try and front with E. You know damn well i’ll fuck you up myself. Try that shit if you want to.” Terry Said mean-mugging him. Cameron wrapped his arms around her waist and placed soft kisses on her cheek.

“And you know Big Daddy don’t play that shit so I dare you to try me.” He said lowly into her ear then sucks on her earlobe. Erik groans watching then stands up.

“Man c'mon you bullshittin’ she gon’ be here when you come back. Gremlins let’s go or you gon’ get left.” He said walking out the door. The boys ran out the door and hopped in the car.

“I’ll save y'all some food for when y'all get back I know you gon be all grumpy when E whoops ya ass at the court.” Terry said walking Cam out the door laughing. Erik started laughing then hugged Terry.

“That’s a damn shame even yo’ girl know ima whoop yo ass Cam.” He said walking to the car and gets in. Cameron mugged her as he walked towards the car shaking his head.“You disloyal heffa. You suppose to be my number one supporter.” Cam said getting in the car and rolling the window up. Terry laughed as she went back in the house. Erik proceeded to drive off.

“Nigga how you let ya girl punk you like that?” Erik said looking at the songs on his phone to play.

“Fuck you, she only do it around you and Lana. Yall be gettin’ her started on them fuckin’ "I’m independent, fuck all these niggas,i don’t need a nigga for shit” rants. Like fuck…she’ll never be quiet.“ Cam said scrolling on insta. Erik chuckled looking over at him."Remind you of somebody? You like a tape recorder. You just keep going on and on and on. It’s a reason why you still with her. Am i wrong ?” He said pulling into the parking lot of the park.

“Im telling mommy you’re talking about her again. Daddy remember what she said the last time.” CJ said from the backseat looking at his dad.

Erik looked back  at him and started laughing. “What she say CJ?”

“She said ‘Keep that saamee energy.’ ” He said rolling his neck how Terry does it. Erik was rolling when he got out the car and ran. Cameron stayed quiet the whole time as the whole conversation went on. He knew if he said something else his son would snitch on him. He glared at Erik as he walked towards the courts with the boys.

“You done nigga?” Cam said annoyed.

Erik whipped a tear from his eye and took a breath. “Yeah I’m done. I aint know she was doin’ my boy like thaaat.” Cameron shook his head and started bouncing the basketball.

“Look CJ if i can teach you one good thing in this world it’s when you’re around the fellas you keep what’s said to yourself. Don’t go reporting shit to ya mama and what not. That’s guy code man. Trust me.” Cameron said shooting the ball into the hoop.

“Yeah….no matter how scared ya daddy is of a girl that’s 5'2.” Erik said laughing and grabbing the ball and bouncing it to Sage. Cameron shook his head.

Solana’s Pov

I’m so sick of this job. Well not necessarily, it is my dream job to be a fashion designer. Some of my female co-workers here are so jealous, like don’t get mad at me for doing what Jordan wants. He asks and I deliver.Here we are in another meeting so he can tell us what’s to come with the next client.

“Alright everyone great job pulling through with last week’s client Jynesse. A special thanks to Solana, she delivered the most outstanding design for Jyneese and as a plus the outfit was on the cover of Essence magazine. Keep up the great work.” Jordan said clapping as well as everyone else except Amber. This bitch is a fucking hater i swear. Amber’s been working for Jordan for about 5 years and she was his top designer. Well until i showed up, not to toot my own horn but beep beep. I’ve been here for the past 2 years now and clients have grabbed my designs back to back and now she’s mad. Amber has tried so hard to sabotage my designs but it turns around and bites her in the ass every time. One time i had to convince Jordan not to fire her stank ass but she doesn’t know it. She tries so hard to be in my position it’s exhausting. Like bitch get a life. And she better not think for one second that i didn’t catch her dusty ass making googly eyes with Erik’s dumb ass. If she keeps disrespecting me i might have to show her why i got this AK-47 tatted on my leg.

“Now for this week’s project our client Mrs. Keyshia Ka’oir wants a piece for her birthday party coming up in a few weeks. It seems that her and her Husband want to be matching somehow. She wants a dress that’s extra as possible in her words.Oh, and she wants it to be red all over.Rough sketches are due tomorrow and all projects are due next Friday so get to it everyone, she will be here to hand pick which style she wants so it better be extravagant.Good luck.” Jordan said

“Greaaatt, more stress.” I said mumbling as i stand up and started walking towards my office. As i was walking through the door i see her looking at me up and down from her door. Yes our offices are across from each other. A great fucking coincidence right? I turned around and faced her leaning against my door frame.

“Do you have problem? You’ve been looking at me all day with a stank face so what is your issue?” I said glaring back at her as i looked at her up and down.

Amber starts to smirk shake her head at me. “Nope. All i know is you better be prepared to lose your spot on top because once Keyshia looks at my design its game over for you baby girl. So, have fun while you can.”

“Girl bye, nobody is worried about your tired ass, old ass, styles. Amber you’ve put out the same style the past five assignments we’ve had its old sis. You want to impress somebody, impress yourself by trying new fabric or you know better yet try a career because this apparently isn’t it for you.” I said rolling my eyes and closing my door. I can’t believe that bitch really tired me. Just wait till I get my sketch ready, I born to do this.

~At the park~

Erik and Cameron were playing one on one while Sage and CJ were playing on the other side of the court. The kids got tired of just playing basketball so they wanted to do their own thing. Erik was whooping Cameron’s ass just like Terry said too.

“Where the fuck was you at last night? I called your ass to hit the strip club bruh. All the birds was there.” Cam said wiping the sweat off his forehead with his shirt.

“Man I was handlin’ business last night.” Erik said shooting the ball from the free throw line.

“What bitch was it this time?” Cameron said shaking his head and leaning on his knees. Erik chuckled bouncing the ball in between his legs.

“How you know I was with a bitch?”

“One you chuckling like you holding something, Two you never handle business without me being there or drop your location. So which one was it? Britney? La’toya? or Malina?” He said stealing the ball from Erik and going for a layup.

“I been stopped fucking with La’toya crazy ass. Remember i told you i caught that bitch puttin’ my sperm in a syringe?”

Cameron started laughing. “Hell yeah I remember that shit, that bitch was in love witchu! ’Erik gon’ be my baby’s father!’ It took me and the homies to pry that bitch off your ass.”

“Man, after that shit I was like nah i’m good shorty. But Malina.” Erik said biting his lip thinking about this morning.

“I had to put that bitch out on the curb though. She wouldn’t get out my bed and I had to take Lana to work.I wasn’t about to let this bitch sleep in my room while i was gone. Then fuck around and come back all my drawers cleaned out.” He said getting in his guard stance in front of Cameron.

“Wait, wait,wait y'all fucked this morning? Like right before you took Lana to work.You had to let the bitch spend the night too? Cuz that’s fucked up.You a dog bruh.” Cameron said laughing and pulling up to make a shot. Erik blocked the shot and switches spots.

“Man I was too drunk to take her back to her crib, I had the Henny in my system when i hit her. I told her to meet me at the spot right? She hop out the uber with this short ass dress on Cam like if the bitch bent over you could see the pussy lips wink at you bruh. I was like damn so we kickin’ it ,choppin’ it up then next thing I know she riding me on the hood of the car in the parking lot of McDonald’s. This was at like 3 in the morning too, we was up the street from my crib so i said fuck it slide through. Woke up and got in the guts again then Lana called.Kicked that bitch to the curb literally.” He said laughing as he shot a three. Erik looked back on the other side of the court to make sure Sage was okay.

Cam stood there with his mouth wide open. “Damn that bitch a freak. In the parking lot?!? Of McDonald’s?!?! Shitttt you should’ve called a nigga. We could’ve tag teamed that hoe.”

“Nigga please, Terry crazy ass aint finna’ air the clip out on me because you wanted to fuck another bitch. TJ got eyes everywhere on you. Every bitch in Inglewood know you her nigga.They aint finna’ try her or Lana.” Erik said shaking his head and taking his shirt off.

“I swear her crazy ass got a tracking device on my dick. I go into the bathroom she all like ‘Where you takin’ my dick?’ I say I’m going’ to the store she say ‘That bitch bet not be at the store.’ Next thing i know i get to the store she there waitin’ for a nigga. ‘I was just makin sure you came to the same store you always do.’” Like damn I can’t go nowhere without her being there.” Cameron said shaking his head. Erik looked behind Cameron and seen Terry’s car parked in the lot with her looking out the window at them.

“Speak of the devil, she shall appear.” He said nodding his head in the direction. Cameron raised his eyebrow with  confused look on his face.

“Cuz what you talkin’ bout?” He said turning around. “Gotdamn it ! See the shit I mean she crazy.I been gave yo crazy ass my location Terry!”Cameron said walking towards her car. Erik laughed shaking his head at them.

Leave feedback pleaseeee let me know if you like it

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[theblazian]

That finale was nuts and i have some things to say about that and the season as a whole

I like that they used a belly eyelash song i thought it was overdue for a show like this

I know lilli reinharts back is ACHING from carrying this show on her own . the best acting in the show 👏🏽👏🏽

Varchie getting back together was inevitable no shocker there

Im glad jughead got to beat some ass he always getting his ass beat good job jug.lmfao his response to chic after he explained why he was doing what he was doin had me WEAK talm bout some "okay "

Poor Betty. I know hal is like a serial killer but i dont think anyone wanna see they dad die infront of them get that poor girl some therapy

Kevin get your head out of your ass sis, " i dIdNt gEt tO aCsEnD" boy you STILL dont see shit wrong with that? Yo whole ass kidney got stolen and you still being hardheaded is that what were doing? I know he was brainwashed but damn the ignorance was entirely too much bliss

One thing ill never understand is the fucking obsession with that damn game like yal are aware its just a GAME right? You dont have to fucking play it ethel was really making me mad w that bullshit talm bout some " I love him" BITCH shut UP. then got kids murdering eachother? OVER A GAME???? Make it make sense god please my head hurts .and was that crackheaded mf curts or whatever of age why was he in the pussy house ??!!

Ion even wanna get into how fucked up it is that betty and jug share a sibling. Like i guess we already knew that but him being alive is nuts and it brings it to attention like damn that shit is really deadass .ion trust this

I hope cheryl stops being under then over utilized like, can yal let her have character development that sticks! shes so stuck. yoyoing between problematic and helpful at the drop of a dime like can she pull her head out of her ass and keep it out this time? Please i love my ginger drama queen .also the whole keeping jasons body thing? Lordy send my baby to therapy right along w Betty she stressing me out now

For that matter Toni needs development too its like she knows better but would rather be goofy w her wild card ass gf than listen to reason and its getting stale i love choni but let toni be her own character again

The farm. Bitch the farm . so you mean to tell me the fbi knew about it for months and just allowed minors/ people im general to get their organs stolen and murdered? For months? And like how long has Edgar and his lil daughter wife been scamming people for their organs? Like its just crazy how simple it is to maniuplate people like that .Lordy the mess.fix it jesus. I just wanna know what they gon do w Polly if shes alive cause shes been fucking annoying since s1 so if she is dead i really dont care its probably for the best all she do is stress Betty and alice out .

Speaking of bitches that need to be euthanized im sick and TIRED of hiram he is so fucking annoying its like can your crazy ass just calm down and mind your business why is that so hard for him?you gon come after Ronnie now ? Okay bitch whatever he not gon be satisfied till he dead I really hope he gets sent to like a prison that he has no power in or deleted next season bc im sick of the games. its not even interesting anymore its just SO annoying. Lastly,

That fucking time skip? Bitch why now i got anxiety.i know they probably won't kill jug off but maybe thats what they want us to think? They play entirely too much we wont know till season 4 drops i guess but like damn i just got a hold of my edges can the writers take their foot off my neck for 5 seconds.

Ight dassit im done time to wait for season 4

[fmdromeo]

 hi  cuties  !  i've  finally  caught  a  break  from  this  new  semester  ,  &  adjusting  to  it  has  definitely  been  easier  than  i  thought  ,  but  i  probably  will  be  slower  in  terms  of  plotting  &  threading  still  until  the  holidays  roll  around  !  i  hope  everyone  has  been  doing  well  :>  this  lil  post  is  in  regards  to  our  event  ,  and  under  the  cut  you'll  find  what  both  romeo  bae  [  origin's  maknae  ]  &  sohn  aerin  [  femme  fatale's  main  vocalist  ]  will  be  up  to  in  regards  to  the  actual  concert  &  the  afterparty  !  give  this  a  lil  like  if  you'd  like  me  to  msg  you  about  plotting  ,  but  please  feel  free  to  im  me  if  anything  in  particular  stands  out  to  you  !  thank  u  sm  for  reading  .

note : all usual threads will be put ON HOLD until the event is over , just to make things easier for me ! uwu 

crossed out plots means they are officially taken , italicized plots are pending !

romeo bae :

my goblin baby boy is going to have three stages in total , each having one song to perform besides origin closing off the concert , so he’s going to be performing seven songs in total ! of course , he’s going to be tired as fuck , but origin’s schedules have somewhat prepared him for this , and it feels like any other normal instance where origin has to perform . so romeo isn’t too ... shocked or anything lol he kind of figured this is would happen ! anyways , he’s still pretty juiced for his stages and hopes to make the most fun of it , at least . that is until the after party ! romeo is probably gonna go all out [ when is he .. not ] for the party because he needs to kick the fuck back and chill out for a second . he’s definitely going to pregame right after the concert ends ! if u need weed , romeo is ur guy ! he’s gonna be in and out of the party randomly getting high ..... somewhere , somehow , so tag along if thats ur thing . overall , he’s gonna work his butt off and then chill and have fun ! onto the specific plots for him .

romeo is the most aussie mf out there , so he is definitely going to be in the pool sporting some designer trunks ! he’s a water baby so if you wanna just chill and swim , play a pool game or have him teach ur muse to swim , he’s ur dude

romeo is naturally super competitive so he’s going 2 have the time of his life playing pool or beer pong , his personal faves !! come join his team or play against him pls !

if he’s not swimming and outselling ariel in the pool , he’s gonna be drinking . like a madman , so if ur muse wants a drinking buddy or have him expose them to drinking , he’s def gonna have a cup in hand at all times lmfao

and now if he’s not drinking , then i know the kid is getting high 4 sure , somehow nd somewhere . romeo prefers to smoke too but he probably has a handful of edibles shoved into his pocket or sum .. hit him up if you wanna have a sesh somewhere or get ur muse stoned for the first time w him , he loves that shit 

this boy is the reason blueface wrote thotianna but wbk ? hit romeo up if u wanna hookup or just makeout for a long time .. sum like that cause the thot is gonna show up and show out , so if ur muse needs to ~relax~ or wants 2 be corrupted by satan himself , romeo is here 2 provide that 

it’s obvious origin is always overworked , and it shows on romeos face alot too . he’s probably gonna be high or drunk , most likely both , but maybe he rambles to ur muse about how tired he is of all this ?? and probably open up about how sad he feels most of the time but uh yeah ! 

romeo loves 2 get fucked up wbk but ur muse cant even handle anything like that too much , so now he has to fuckin BABYSIT them ? he’s annoyed nd pissed off , but he wont risk dispatch getting a hold of a juicy lil story so he’ll put up w it for now , but u owe him !!!

sohn aerin :

aeri , like romeo , has a handful of stages too ! she’s going to have four in total , and will be performing seven songs in total ! she’s honestly really happy about having a lot of stages ? it definitely beats having to perform the same one (1) song all the time , plus she gets to wear cute little outfits and have people look at her so .. thats that on that . despite it being obvious hard work , she’s honestly really happy for the first time in months for the concert to showcase more of femme fatale , and she loves performing with her members too ! big bonus is all the lovely collab stages uwu she’s also really giddy for the after party so she can dress up like the true lil thotty she is ? she’s going to have lots of fun , make horrible decisions and be super out of it ! aeri doesnt have the best alcohol tolerance but like .. thats not gonna stop her from getting shitfaced lmfao . she’s a rly cute drunk if i do say so myself .. but yeah ! she’s also gonna be getting high nd things of that nature too . overall she’s going to really enjoy the concert and the afterparty too ! onto the plots !!

aeri used to be an excellent swimmer and now she kind of .. cant ? she bought a cute bikini tho , and the world needs to see it . she sees ur muse can swim pretty well and asks them to teach her the basics again ??  she j wants to take thotty pool pics :/

she will also be highkey drunk out of her mind chilling in the jacuzzi , maybe ur muse sees her and goes to check up on her if shes ok ?? she will be like this , as a ref picture

the main vocalist is gna jump out with karaoke !! pls join her sing early 2000s bops or sum .. or tell her to stop singing HHH

besides singing , shes also gonna be dancing ??? pls come join her she just wants to dance w everyone !!!!!! if ur muse wanted a lap dance , she can also provide that winkity wonkity

she’s going to be doing shots like her life depends on it , if ur muse likes to drink or hasnt , shes ur girl !! shes also gonna b doin body shots as well :~)

i lov havin my muses do stuff together so shes probably gonna get a joint or something from romeo SJJNJDG come join w her on the roof of the mansion or like wherever ... thank u

shes also gonna be showin up in full Thot mindset so she will be hookin up and makin out w whoever is down to !!! hit her up ?????

wbk femme fatale promotions and comebacks esp this year are a little ... weird and its been bugging aeri since its happened , maybe she confides in ur muse randomly [ or not ] about her feelings about that ? in regards to women in general in the industry and how shes pretty terrified of the day her and the group will be shoved aside hhhh

like i said , although aeri can drink well , shes not a good drunk and gets drunk fast so ur muse has to now babysit her !!!! lmao have fun and good luck !!!!!

[garyofrivia]

a few Modern!Gang college AU headcanons!!!!!

not that anyone asked!!! and this has probably been done already!! but i’m bored at work so :/ i’m so sorry 

Arthur:

graphic design major, creative writing minor

took a photography class to impress that cute albert boy from down the hall and worked extra hard all semester just to end up accidentally telling his advisor that he wanted to double minor in photography as well

Tired™

he’s def one of those students that can fall asleep a n y w h e r e on campus

has a sleeve tattoo and is working on a second ;;;)))

he doesn’t party often, but when he does, the entire fire department and 7 cop cars show up by the end of the night to break it up

there was a rumor his sophomore year that he beat up 5 frat dudes at once during rush week for harassing girls and no one has heard of any issues from that frat since

is banned from the local chili’s for dining and dashing

shoplifts chef boyardee, microwavable ramen, and snickers bars from the student center convenience store to Survive

Charles:

environmental studies major

is in 50000000 activist clubs

regularly punches racist white boys w/ maga merch in the dorm common rooms and when the RA saw one time he didn’t do jack shit bc…. he right

he’s never procrastinated an assignment in his life

studies until 5 am every night but? still wakes up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym????

works part time as a barista at a hole in the wall coffee shop/bookstore and is 100% a coffee snob

doesn’t smoke but knows every weed dealer on campus, mostly bc they’re all enviro studies majors

his roommate thinks he’s a myth bc he’s never there or is just super quiet, but rly he just Minds His Damn Business

can be seen reading for leisure on the quad when it’s sunny and warm

Dutch:

political science major, philosophy minor

arthur and hosea are his friends from high school and they’re the only ones that can tolerate his mood when he goes on Insane procrastination benders where he’s trying to write 4 essays in a single night on a fuck ton of adderall and energy drinks

frequently goes on rants while studying in the student center about capitalism and it somehow always results in him on top of a table, yelling about ronald reagan

it gets Annoying when he talks about ancient greece, which is… constantly..

has 4 girlfriends and 3 boyfriends but still has time to participate in debate team every saturday

accidentally incited a student labor strike on campus one time and the cafeteria wasn’t functional for a week

started 6 clubs, but never goes to meetings and can’t remember what literally any of them are for

doesn’t work at all but somehow? always has money??? like he pays for his friends’ dinners all the time?? how??????

Hosea:

graduate economics student

he’s that cool TA in a super hard class that sends the prof’s tests from previous semesters to all the students so they can study for the final

Constantly in the library reading/studying/tutoring

still lives on campus for some reason and pirates textbook pdfs out of his dorm room

has a 4.2 gpa, but acts like he’s never been to a single class in his life

gets high all the time and talks about moving to europe on a whim and is *THIS* close to just fuckign doin it

makes his own kombucha

when he can’t sleep bc of test anxiety he rambles to arthur and dutch until the wee hours of the morn about existentialism and how great the beatles were

is responsible for multiple people discovering they have a daddy kink despite not having one himself

John:

undecided major (communications maybe, but he hasn’t found his “passion” yet)

failed freshman english twice for just not showing up to class

drives one of those old subarus from the 90’s and does donuts in the student lot when it snows

has a CD collection from his Emo™ days in the glove box and pops one in every now and then when he’s alone and feelin’ nostalgic/sad

skateboards to class and usually almost runs over a bunch of people since he always has headphones on

death note is his favorite anime

that One Room on your hall that is ALWAYS playing loud ass music until 3am

is surprisingly really good at math and tries to help tutor his friends but gets frustrated when they don’t understand “basic” calculus on the first try

his favorite hobby is harassing the ducks on campus and has made enemies of multiple geese

Sadie:

criminology major

plays intramural sports, probably volleyball and softball

everyone’s Jock Girlfriend they wished they had but are too afraid to talk to bc she might snap someone’s neck if they look at her wrong

wears leather jackets and aviators for every occasion

one time gave a monologue about sexism in her political theory class after not saying anything for the entire semester and her professor was moved to tears

has a lot of friends but only a few are ride or die babey!!!!!!!! (it’s arthur, charles, and abigail and they bully john together)

knows a lot about cars and ppl pay her to fix theirs since college kids usually can’t afford to go to a garage

speaks german because she got bored one summer and taught herself a fucking language i guess

Sean:

french major (????why is he like that???)

he says he’s studying a different language because the thinks it’ll make him hotter, but really it’s because he fantasises about moving away one day to start a new life

always says how college isn’t really for him and is .2 seconds away from dropping out

hangs out with john a little too much for his own good and once broke his wrist while trying his skateboard

“hey, have you heard of [insert incredibly obscure punk rock band name here]?”

gets blackout drunk every weekend and keeps a journal for the sole purpose of documenting the various places he’s woken up

wears stupid beanies and owns one (1) hoodie that he wears year round

quotes memes out loud to be able to communicate his emotions effectively

a ~Film Hoe~

also………. he vapes

Javier:

international studies major, finance minor

studied abroad in spain and almost didn’t come back bc he loved it so much

plans to get mega rich so he can travel Everywhere

um,,, he loves classic lit and owns an entire library full of it

took a gap year after high school to tour with his band and kinda became a lil famous so that’s cool

runs a thirst trap instagram acct and models part time ;)

every single person that encounters him has been attracted to him in one way or another and they truly don’t even question it

he’s a major mama’s boy and she visits him all the time

he rooms with sean who drives him insane but they have similar music tastes and were able to bond over that

they get rowdy on saturdays but has his (few) friends over on sundays for a “family dinner”

Bill:

computer science major

used to play COD competitively and wants to get into videya game development

seems like kind of an idiot when he asks questions in class but his grades show that he’s smarter than he looks

did ROTC for the tuition money but dropped as soon as he found out that you have to enlist after you graduate lmao

southern angery boi that drives a pickup truck and hosts tailgates every single football game

has a bunch of dudebro friends that he hangs out with due to societal pressure, but all he wants to do is bake some cookies

his roommate was scared of him at first but when he bought him a lil gift for christmas before break, he realized that he was a big ole softie

is late to class bc he spends 65943598 years on his hair in the morning even though it literally never looks different

Lenny:

english major, applying to the education masters degree program

he wants to be a high school english teacher fuck me up!!!!!!

was super homesick when he first moved away :( 

writes his friends papers for them sometimes even though he’s killing himself with his own schoolwork

netflix binges and video game benders are regular weekend activities and he’s been known to not move from his chair for 15 hours at a time

runs an avengers stan blog and cried at comic con when he met robert downey jr

begged the manager at the local comic book store for a job and the guy was just like “yeah, kid literally just apply online idc”

has lots of friends that rope him into doing hooligan shit instead of study

is a giant ball of anxiety for the majority of the semester and is just,, Trying His Best

Micah:

he was the maga kid that charles knocked out the first week of classes