#she's going to be in)

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[cordspaghetti]

really factual recounting with no embellishments whatsoever

[aximili]

tbh the fact that cats purr was an unnecessary bonus we don't always acknowledge. they're already cute and baby and little and soft and make silly noises and do funny shit. but they also like to cuddle and make a soothing pleasant noise to indicate they are happy when they cuddle you? huge. huge for the human race.

[muffinlance]

My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"

And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."

Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden

[becquerel]

i really like ryoko kui's dedication to making this elf chick smoke weed in every modern clothing art she appears in

I KNOW SHE DOES SHROOMS IN THE MAIN COMIC I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY SINCE ITS NEVER DISCUSSED 😭 PLEASE MY NOTES ARE JUST PEOPLE TELLING ME THIS NOW

[sabertoothwalrus]

modern au laios

[churroach]

Full of Desires

[frankierotwinkdeath]

Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her

[demaparbat-hp]

He's never happy

[yeepof]

Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!

[iscariotapologist]

today in church one of the priests referred to trans people as "those who are growing into the gender they were called to be" and i'm kind of enjoying the idea of like....divinely ordained top surgery

[beebfreeb]

[formulanni]

Roan of Arc

Tag list: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @saviour-of-lord @three-days-time @the-wall-is-my-goal @albonoooo @ch3rubd0lls

[archi-pelago]

maybe never forgive. but things are different now. so we'll use maybe.

[lizzibennet]

chappell roan’s got this sudden very huge burst of attention and since then she has

shown up to jimmy fallon in full drag

shown up to her concerts in even zainier outfits than before

worn a nun costume to one concert and when people were uncomfortable she was like good. toodles!

very clearly stated she will retreat from the public eye if she feels threatened by her fame

put very firm boundaries in place, not caring how that might make her look in today’s ass backward society that thinks artists owe everyone everything

she really is trying the hardest to do this in her own terms, in this industry that pretty much allows no wiggle room when it comes to being as big as she’s gotten. it’s clear to me she doesn’t care about maintaining the level of notoriety she has now, she cares about connecting to the subset of people who her art has always been aimed at and that is it. and i find it so admirable! it must be really hard to get what every artists out there is trying to and not let yourself get influenced by it, but she is remaining steadfastly herself. it’s so refreshing and it makes me like her so much more

[splatoonlink]

HELP i was watching off the hook perform and the angle i was at makes it look like pearl is being repeatedly set on fire 😭