#she's committed atrocities but I love her

[wordsofwhimsy]

🅲🅾🅽🅲🆁🅴🆃🅴 🅵🅻🅾🆆🅴🆁🆂

A/N: I’ve been going BONKERS reading through all of the Mark Grayson x reader fanfics on here.  Y’all are so damn talented!!!  Got a girl having all the feels.  It really inspires me to write more myself :’).  The last thing I posted got a little bit of love & it really meant a lot to me!  I’m also going to try working on my formatting to make it more appealing.

~☪~

PAIRING: [Budding] Sinister!Mark Grayson x Reader

WARNINGS: Series-Typical Violence & Gore, suggestive abusive/possessive

INSPIRED: by the song “luther” by Kendrick Lamar & SZA

~☪~

♫♪ If this world was mine… ♫♪

Something was changing in Mark.  The sweet, funny, and thoughtful guy you’d known for years was still there, but you’d noticed within the last few months that there was also something else—something much darker bubbling just below the surface.  At first you told yourself his heavy emotions were normal and made sense.  What he went through with his father was nothing short of traumatic, and he never truly had a chance to process any of it.  Not in the typical sense, at least.  No therapy, no counselors, no support groups.  Just himself, his mom, and all of the poor souls who dared to take up the mantle of being a career criminal.  Of course there was always you, but what words of wisdom could you really offer?  You were just a regular girl, working an ordinary nine to five as a library assistant.  The life he led was so fantastical and impossible for you to ever truly understand.  You loved him dearly and would always support him in any way you could, but the reality was you did not relate to his current life at all.

As time went on though you noticed that what started as a shadow within him was growing, becoming like a black sludge that would seep out of his mouth when talking about Cecil, or his father—or anything really that he disagreed with.  If you were being honest with yourself, it scared you.  You of course knew he was not his father and would never even conceive of committing such atrocities, but somewhere in the recesses of your mind you held the image of the destruction that was caused by Omni-Man, and then the knowledge that Invincible was more than capable of doing the same.  Not wanting to add the stressors that consumed Mark’s life, however, you never voiced these feelings.  But they were there nonetheless, and becoming harder for you to ignore.

♫♪ I'd take your dreams and make 'em multiply ♫♪

“I don’t understand what you’re so upset with me about [Name],” Mark stated, the irritation evident in his tone. “You wanted to become the lead librarian, and now you are. That’s literally what you asked for.”  You stared up at him incredulously, arms stiff at your sides with your hands clenched into tight fists.

“You have got to be kidding me right now Mark.” You waited a few moments, for some reason believing his senses would come back to him.  Instead, you were met with him starring evenly back down at you. Your eyes widened as you shouted, “You threatened Mrs. Crump into retiring!”

“I gave her strong encouragement.”

“Be so for real right now…” You dropped your head and covered your face with your palm, needing to regroup your thoughts. “Maybe I’m mistaken.  Did Invincible not show up at my job this morning and tell my boss that if she was smart, she would make this her last day?” His dark, slim eyes glanced away from you now as he gave no answer.  Your lips pursed as you slowly nodded your head, at a loss for words.  Mark looked back at you, his expression suddenly so soft and tender.  It almost made your heart flutter.

“Your life is so short, [Name],” he said in almost a whisper. “You deserve for every dream you ever have to become reality.  In fact you deserve even more!” All the built up tension in your muscles suddenly melted away as you instinctively reached out to take his hand in a comforting gesture.

“Oh—” Your fingers trace up the solid and muscled contours of his arm, gently grazing over his shoulder and neck to finally cup his jaw. Your eyes meet with his and you couldn’t help but feel a soft smile tug at your lips. “Mark… My life may seem short in comparison to yours, but understand that for me, it’s the longest thing I’ll ever experience.” Your words seemed to do nothing to comfort him as a look of frustration pulled at his features. You only continued to gently smile. “Besides, the fight for our dreams is the most important part of the adventure.”

This seemed to register for him, at least on some level. “I love you,” he hushed while holding your face in his calloused hands.  He leaned down to give you a soft, lingering kiss that made you weak in the knees.  This time, as was the case with every time that you began to worry about his dark tendencies, he touched you and flooded your brain with oxytocin causing you to forget all about your concerns.  Just like he wanted.

♪♫ If this world was mine, I'd take your enemies in front of God Introduce 'em to that light, hit them strictly with that fire ♪♫

This is a dream, you told yourself.  Every cell in your body was shaking in horror.  This is dream, you repeated in your mind, tears welling in your eyes.  This has to be a dream.  Mark stood facing you, donning his superhero attire.  Although the blood that heavily stained his right hand up to his elbow did not lend itself to the idea of heroism. “[Name],” he spoke your name so calmly.  Nausea churned in your stomach as you took a step back from him. “I had to do this.  His life was meaningless – he didn’t deserve to be on this planet with you.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere but at his face.  You didn’t dare see what was undoubtedly laid in a careless, bloodied pile at his feet. “You know that I’m right, [Name]. Don’t you understand? He was—”

“He was my father!” you cried, the tears now spilling freely from your swollen eyes. “How could you do this?!”

“How could I do what? Save you from his abuse? Spare you from another bruised eye or busted lip? Another horrible insult being spit at you from his vile mouth?” As he talked you could see the blackness gushing from his lips.  This was what you had feared all along but denied endlessly, until now.  And now it was far too late.  You took another step away from him and suddenly felt your back pressed into something solid and immovable.  Mark’s arms closed around you from behind, his face leaned down next to yours. “I am all you really need, [Name].  I can keep you safe.  No one else can do that for you.  Only me.” You sobbed without restraint, all of your body giving way under his embrace as he kept you on your feet effortlessly. “I know this is hard for you right now, but don’t worry, I promise you’ll understand someday.”

Having gone numb to your own senses, it took you several minutes to realize you were no longer on solid ground and instead floating above your father’s home.  It was quiet out, no sirens or people screaming.  Your neighborhood and the police were none the wiser.  And even if someone did know, what could they possibly do? “I love you, [Name].  I know you know that.  You might not feel the same right now, but I hope soon enough you will again.”  The tone in his voice left you feeling like you didn’t have a choice in the matter.  And suddenly, you could see the future clearly.  He would follow in his father’s footsteps, and this world would bend knee to his every whim.  You would be no exception.  In the name of self-preservation, you found yourself reaching up to hold onto his arms which still gripped tightly around your rib cage. 

“I love you too.”  The words surprised even you as they cracked out of your throat.  A low hum of satisfaction could be heard from Mark before he placed a tender kiss to the crook of your neck.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that.” He squeezed you even tighter, pushing the breath out of your lungs and putting a deep ache in your spine.  How could your sweet, thoughtful, caring boyfriend have changed so much? Where did the Mark you know go? Your stare fell back down to the roof of your father’s home and the sight immediately brought tears back to your eyes, blurring your vision. “Things in this world are going to be changing.” You bottom lip quivered at his words. “But don’t worry, I’ve done some things to your house just to make sure you can stay safe.  I can’t wait for you to see.” He placed another kiss to your throat, and you felt yourself slip out of your skin.  Nothing would ever be the same.

[rainbow-flavoured-skittles]

english nerd Jason my beloved

[benevolenterrancy]

this description made me realise what one of my favourite MXTX character tropes is: Over-Worked, Under-Appreciated Employee Who Is Not Above Becoming Somewhat Evil About It

[chainsofother]

Something I did for my icon on twt but I don't feel like using it just yet..... so have her.....

[puppmeo]

"Nooo why would you like Kipperlilly she's terrible!!" Have you considered that i love her because of the fact that she's so sucks

[mourning-at-night]

ok im going to ramble for a minute but i think van palmer's turn towards violence is so interesting. like in the beginning, she nearly throws up just thinking about allie's broken leg. she can't watch when shauna sobs over her baby's body. but then she's one of the first to truly believe and accept that they'll end up turning to violence in order to survive - she stops and she watches shauna beat their friend and teammate and she knows. it's brutal and bloody and near deadly, but this time, she doesn’t look away.

despite her weak stomach, she's always been willing to do what she believes is necessary. to her, violence isn't intriguing or sensational or something to be celebrated - but it is something to be resorted to, one of those things she sees as an inevitability, a necessity, no matter how painful or nauseating or depressing. she’ll slap her mother awake, but first she'll call out to her. she'll hunt nat through the woods and she'll let a 14yo drown, but only because she and taissa and lottie and everyone who she cares for, they're all starving, or hurt. she will do what she believes it will take to keep herself and her loved ones alive, at least most of them, at least as many of them as possible - because, of course, she’s always tried so hard to be the protector. that's who she is, shown in a thousand little ways. she plays goalie. she tries to break up the fight between tai and shauna in the pilot and she starts to defend nat when travis is being a dickhead in bear down and she helps hold shauna back until lottie tells them not to in burial. she tries to look after tai when she sleepwalks, like how she possibly had to look after her mother for years. she jokes around and she tells the group stories, trying to keep them connected to the outside world.

i think it's interesting to see a character so solidly rooted in the idea of protection to be the one spearheading violent action. it's ironic and tragic and it makes sense, because as yellowjackets shows, over and over - care is not an inherently gentle or bloodless act!! it's van telling the others to leave her bleeding in the woods after the wolf attack and it's tying herself to tai even though she gets hurt and it's helping carry bodies onto the plane and digging graves. it's telling tai she loves her for the first time by literally writing it in her own blood.

sometimes it’s painful. sometimes it's not healthy or righteous. sometimes it’s the hard choice - putting forth the playing cards and joining the hunt and watching with grim determination as javi struggles and cries out for help, and then separating herself and the others from the choice to let him die by claiming the wilderness made it for them. reaching out and turning his face away from shauna when it’s time for the bloodletting. convincing travis to cannibalize his little brother by telling him that he owes javi this final act of love.

it's giving up retelling movies and tv shows and instead telling a different story, a quiet, cold one, because she believes the only way for them to survive out in the wilderness is to give themselves over to it fully, no matter how horrible - because, after everything, what choice does she feel she has but to persist? even in wiskayok, living was always a fight, another series of necessary actions in order to Get Through It and Get Out. after the alcoholic mother and ambiguously unmentioned father and the trials of being young and gay and butch in the suburbs of 90s new jersey, she wants a future, so badly. and after having to pull herself out of the crash and surviving the wolf attack and the pyre, after spending months watching the others around her suffer and starve and die, she can't pull out of the fight. she wouldn't even know how. like a brutal, desperate instinct, she must survive, and she must protect.

it's agonizing but she won't let herself feel it and it's endless but she can only think about the end result. it's selfish in the way they're almost all selfish and it's loving in the way they all love - but especially van, who is so deeply and fiercely protective, who has always cared so much. in the end, that protective instinct both keeps her painfully human and pushes her out into the deep end. it's the kindest and most wonderful piece of her being and it's an intense force that leads her towards brutality. because sometimes caring is the violent thing!! sometimes love is violence and violence is love!!!!

[shadowqueenjude]

I skipped the last book of Three Dark Crowns because I love Katharine and Pietyr and I know Katharine is going to fucking die and I can’t stand it😭😭😭😭😭😭

[milfbrainrot]

admittedly we do not know anything abt most of the new characters yet and assuming she's not in LoL that includes Maddie but it is... a lil odd to see infantilization of her at this stage.

I get she seems like a ray of sunshine character so far but "girl has no idea what martial law means 💔" kind of jokes are making me think abt how if maddie IS just a naive enforcer thinking she's doing good for piltover, she'd still... know what martial law and fascism etc entail. She'd just think those things are Good and Just!

Idk not to take jokes too seriously but there's something interesting abt what makes a character complicit in horrors esp when they seem so nice, and I feel like that's kinda being brushed aside w the interpretations that she is just an oblivious kid... esp since those jokes are about the scene where she's supporting Cait's dictatorship promotion which is after she's literally been in Zaun with her gassing people lmao.

She knows what's going on. Her framing of it is just extremely biased. Maybe a bit naive of her if so, but not stupid yknow.

[razzledazzle-pop]

10.10.2024 - Cool down sketch (she's been on my mind again the last couple of days...Felt cute, might finish it later 😋🌟💫).

[bookwyrminspiration]

i love how so many characters are like “this is a shitty, immoral thing to do…good thing I’m not a good person *does it*”

[thevaudevillescene]

on this day five years ago, SHE was born!!!

[dearinglovebot]

I see the occasional claire/owen au prompt surface but 60% of the time fandom interprets it in the most incorrect way. and it makes me so irrationally mad. it’s like “mafia x fbi au. owen is a mobboss—“ claire canonically is the evil capitalist and owen is the one thought she was crazy. she would revolutionize mobbossing. they now have dental care included in the health care package. she just ordered Little Tony to be dipped in acid for maxing out their transportation budget for the second time. she would consider it feminism to take over a typically male dominant position such as crime lording. and in this scenario owen would be brooding over the evils of humanity or whatever for creating this heartless woman but ultimately morals are not stronger than ass so.

[brutalmasks]

[adriartts]

slow day

[mad-hunts]

alright, i have come here to discuss something tonight and that topic is: barton still killing every single police officer that bothers him at the docks (except for jim, but i swear that's just for plot purposes. okay... nah 🫠 it's not lmao BUT moving on) and hating law enforcement in general + vigilantes, BUT with the new added context that he has a partner who he found out is a vigilante? well... i'm just here to say that it makes me think that doing mental gymnastics is just a daily practice for barton at this point LOL

but that's okay, because his vigilante partner is genuinely slay in his eyes + worth it. and thus, anyone who dares try to call him a hypocrite for being with her will be smacked halfway to tuesday so ❤️ (the heart essentially means don't do it JSJSJ ☠️ not to say that i would expect that anyone here would do it OFC though y'all know what i mean (,,: and oh, the mun who portrays the vigilante character that i'm talking about knows who they are tehe MUAH ilyyy)

[cream-and-tea]

god it’s so weird brainstorming for agnes’s plotline in book two while writing her in book one like obviously there’s a breaking point but oh BOY is there a breaking point