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bluegalaxygirl · 4 months ago

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Amnesia (KidKiller X reader) P15

Plot: After an explosion reader wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the past few years, her parents want to take her home so she can recover and get back to a normal life while the Kid pirates want her back on the ship where she belongs.

Warning: Bad language, Family issues, domestic abuse and Violence.

Reader is Female, Poly Relationship, established relationship, Kid X Reader X Killer, Reader is a member of the Kid pirates and is in charge of the money, Budgeting and negotiating the best price.

< Previous part …. Next Part >

You had no idea how much you needed a day off until now, for the first time since you've woken up you feel relaxed, there's no lingering dread of what is going to happen next and you know no one is going to come in out of no where so you have time to think things over and decide what you want to do next. You won't let people decide for you even in this state, your families right about you being a little reckless in letting the pirates in but that doesn't mean your mind is completely unreasonable, you know its dangerous but if yesterday showed you anything your in less danger then you first thought. You yelled and insulted a supernova pirate captain, with a bounty higher than you've ever seen, and yet he didn't raise a hand to you, he got angry but respected you enough to not go after you or grab you when you left. He's shown a lot of restraint over the past few days, you heard about him strangling your farther after you passed out and how he threatened to kill them but apparently that isn't even a small amount of his anger, so he's holding back quite well. Your also impressed with Killer, you could tell he was smart from the get go but according to the nurse he turned all other compromises down until there was one with a loop hole for them and not your parents, in a way it made you feel like they cared more by not accepting the first compromise. You know you have to apologise for what you said, to both of them, even though Killer wasn't there to hear it you still feel like you insulted him too, their both trying for your sake.

As for the memory, looking back on it with a clear head it seems your farther's words got to you, your looking for proof and you started gripping at straws which means trying to put pieces together that don't fit but portending they do. You wanted to badly to finally fill in the blanks that you thought their genuine interest in your work meant they did kidnap you and force you to work for them but its clear now how untrue that is, Killer was clearly going to say no and seemed very angry and almost murderous after he laughed until you let slip your thoughts. That laugh still runs through your head from time to time making you smile hoping that you can hear it soon, you have a feeling a memory won't do it justice. Killer also made a point to not let you out of his sight while working on the stuff and checked everything you were doing, its clear he was untrusting of you. As for Kid when he came in he hid his true feelings behind slight anger and cockiness, he seemed genuinely shocked and confused at how some random girl he just met could do all that in such a short time, the only thing that still bothers you is why he didn't pry further into your life, you clearly only gave him the bare minimum of an explanation but instead of questioning you or demanding how you could afford all that education he just sat down and asked you to teach him. Hopefully you can ask him about it tomorrow, thats if he does come back, you want him too, you surprisingly miss the two of them. As for your mother you'll apologise for yelling at her and thats about it, you meant what you said even though it was hard for her to hear but hopefully she thinks about it and takes it to heart, maybe it will help her see your point of view for a change.

The door to your room opens but your too engrossed in your book and your thoughts to look up at the nurse, instead you let a smile grow on your face while a giggle leaves your lips "I'm fine Melody, you don't need to check up on me every hour" You can't be mad at the girl, she's been way too kind to you and super worried about your health, she says also being helping you though all your thoughts and how to go about things tomorrow. "At least she's doing her job" With a gasp you turn to the door seeing it's not the nurse that entered but your farther, the shock flowing through your body soon turns into anger as you slam the book closed and pull off your glasses giving the man a hard glare "Farther, your not supposed to be here" Annoyance is clear in your voice, but he brushes it off and steps further into the room, you should have known you wouldn't get a day off from everyone but the last person you expected to barge into your room was your farther, there's going to be some reason but after yesterday and the promise of a day off your not willing to listen. Walking up to you the man crosses his arms over his chest, despite his blank face his eyes show clear annoyance at your protest "You do not tell me when and where not to be young lady, I am your farther and i own half of this hospital, i can come and go as i please" He scolds expecting you to back down but instead you throw the covers off of you and stand up, deciding to take a note out of Kid's book you step closer almost getting in your farther's face "I asked for one day, just one and you can't even give me that. I don't mean you shouldn't be in the hospital, of course you own at least some of this place but instead of staying away until tomorrow you decide to barge in here. I don't care what reason you have for it, i want you out" Despite the slight tightness in your chest you keep your voice steady but demanding not willing to just give up and let he do what ever he wants.

You hoped that hearing you just needed time to process everything and get your head in the right place would be enough for everyone to listen but it seems your farther's entitlement hasn't shrunk at all, in fact it might have grown. Your farther raises a single eyebrow while looking you up and down in judgment, flexing his jaw your stomach sinks knowing it's a sign of his anger and annoyance but your anger helps hide the sinking feeling, it makes you think for a second if this is why Kid is angry all the time, its so easy to cover things up with anger. "First, do not raise your voice at me and second, i am here to talk with you about business matters" Your farther states his voice seething with anger despite his seemingly calm demeanor, rolling your eyes you take a step back and cross your arms over your chest "Seriously? You know this is a day off for my mind, body and soul to heal before hell breaks loose again… I'm tired, just for today i want to eat, read and sleep nothing else" You groan starting to eye your book and glasses sitting on the bed wondering if you should grab them and leave, it's a good idea but knowing your farther he will follow and most likely get that doctor involved. "I understand you have been though a lot but-" Your head snaps to face him with your eyebrows furrowed stopping him before he can explain. "Yea i have, i got blown up, my legs are burned to hell, i have a still healing gash on my shoulder, I've lost years of my life and if that isn't enough my parents are fighting with Pirates over who gets to see me when, like i'm in come kind of child custody case"

With a sigh your farther takes a second before continuing as if you didn't say anything making you groan and roll your eyes while perching on the edge of the bed now knowing there is no way out of this, he'll talk over you if he has too. "But now the pirates are gone i can discuss everything with you, your mother didn't want to overwhelm you when you first woke up and then the pirates showed up and i couldn't find the time to tell you what we were leaving out" Your farther looks down at you waiting for some kind of encouragement but gets none, not even a raised eyebrow of slight twitch form you. Taking in a breath to calm his anger and frustration he continues. "Your 18th birthday present was given to you at the end of the day, it was a big surprise party along with me offering you a place in my company, on the financial team" Your eyes widen while slowly looking up to meet his eye, he looked so serious and proud you couldn't wait to wipe that off his face, a large smile forms on your face as you break down laughing the force hurting your stomach coursing you to bend over and hold your belly. Your farther steps back a bit in shock his normal Stoic figure going rigid and his calm voice starting to stutter "W-what are you- Y/N, this is no laughing matter" Wiping away the tears that have formed in the corners of your eyes you managed to calm down and sit back up, your laughter was hiding the true anger and disgust you hold for this man, he has always refused involving you in the company even after you did work for him, it isn't a woman's place in his mind, you should be in the kitchen and raising kids as far as he's concerned. Sexist pig.

Standing your hands shake in anger and your shoulders tense making your injured shoulder hurt but it only fuels the hate you hold for the man in front of you. "Bullshit" You spit through gritted teeth the smile you once had slowly fading, your farther gulps trying to regain his compose and take a step back only for you to follow your anger growing at his attempt to try and wiggle his way out of this somehow. "Y/n, don't you-" Before he can get out anything else you step closer letting your self snap, you may not remember the past few years but you do remember the hell you went through just to gain his approval only for it to be shoved back into your face over and over again, and now he has the balls to lie to your face. "You are such a lair, there is no way that is true, I may not remember most of my 18th birthday but there is no way in hell that you gave me that. I have tried everything to make you see me, to make you think i'm good enough and all you do is throw me back to mom after your done with me. So don't you dare lie to my face and insult me by thinking i would fucking believe it" Your yelling gets louder and louder until your voice starts to break, you can't remember the last time you felt this angry, you thought last nights anger was your peak but its clear now you were wrong, it was no where close. The need to hit something, to hit your farther, make him pay for everything he has done to you starts to build forcing your white knuckled fists at your side to shake and your leg to uncontinuously move back getting into a slight fighting stance, maybe you are a pirate because your sure as hell thinking like one.

Your rant stops as the nurse runs into the room panting a little as she looks over the situation, she goes to tell your farther off but you beat her too it while shooting her a look "I want-" your demanding voice if cut off by a hot stinging sensation to run across your cheek as your face is forcefully pushed to the side, a loud gasp leaves Melody's lips as her hands rush to her mouth in shock. "Don't you dare raise your voice and speak to me that way" Your father yells rubbing the palm of his hand after slapping you, it's not the first time but it hurts every time, Melody lets out an angry growl after snapping out of her shock willing her legs to storm over stepping in between you and your farther while aggressively pointing to the door "Mr. Winslow, i will not have you treat a patient this way, leave" She yells knowing it might get her in trouble in the end, but he can't have someone hurting her patient no matter who they are. Your farther's lip and eye twitches in anger as he steps closer, towering over her to try and intimidate her but the nurse stays strong, if she can do this to Captain Kid and Massacre Killer then she can do it to your farther, that's what she tells herself trying to force her body to do the opposite of what its telling her to do. "I said, Leave" Melody points to the door her eyes never leaving the man's. Rubbing your cheek you manage to snap out of your slight shock and look at the situation in front of you, a sense of protectiveness rolls over you at seeing your farther's eyes narrow knowing he isn't going back down and will most likely pull the 'I own this place' or 'i pay your wages' lines.

Placing a hand on Melody's shoulder she doesn't turn to you but sticks her arm out in front of you not wanting you to get in front of her which your grateful for since if she didn't your farther would be on the floor with a broken nose. "Leave farther, i don't want you here and what ever you want form me, your not getting. Now get out" Your farther's angry eyes turn on you silently challenge you to make him, with clenches teeth you step closer lightly pushing against the nurse arm which she refuses to budge." I said. Get. Out" Your voice seethes with anger as you push the words out threw tightly gritted teeth, the silent stand-off between the three of you only lasts a couple of seconds but it feels like hours, without a word your Farther turns his back on you and walks out the room slamming the door closed behind him causing the bookshelf on that wall to shake. Letting out a breath you almost collapse onto the floor if it wasn't for Melody quickly grabbing your arm and wrapping another around your waist, all that pent-up anger and stress has caught up with you making your body and chest each and your head dizzy "I'm so sorry i wasn't here sooner, i was checking on another patient when i heard you yelling" The nurse helps you sit on the bed before checking your cheek happy to see its only a red and not broken or cut, letting out a small tired laugh you shake your head and take her hand holding it in yours for a second "Don't be, you did great, he can be scary" taking a few deep breaths you managed to calm your racing heart no longer feeling it beat against your chest at full force.

Grabbing the sling on the side table Melody helps you put it on letting a small smile form at the sigh in relief you let out at the feeling weight lifting from your throbbing shoulder, looking up at the nurse you go to thank her only to see tears prickling at the side of her eyes as her hand rubs over the red patch on your cheek "I can't believe he hit you" Melody whispers as you take her hand off your face hating how you'll have another facial bruise and how your farther maybe mentally scared this young woman "I'm fine, you did a great job, not many people can stand up to him. Thank you for taking my side and… I'm really sorry about all this, i bet this place was so quiet and nice before i showed up" You laugh even though you really want to cry but at least it makes Melody laugh too as she sits next to you still holding onto your hands "Actually it was super boring before you showed up… most of the patients here either sleep all day or keep to themselves" The two of you laugh a little mainly to get the rest of the heavy emotions and adrenaline out of your system, a wave of tiredness over flows you making you want to curl up into ball under the sheets but first you pat Melody's hand and turn to her "Thank you again, I'm glad to have you around" The nurse gives you a big smile before lightly wrapping her arms around you, quickly hugging back with your one arm you relax into her enjoying the comfort before she pulls away "I have to get back to work but if there's any problems just call me" The nurse gives you a sweet smile before helping you into bed since the tiredness is now clear on your face, she makes sure your glasses and book are nearly put on the side table before taking her leave letting you get some much-needed rest.

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aizawaskittenwhore · 4 years ago

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𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦.

𝘧𝘵. 𝘪𝘻𝘶𝘬𝘶, 𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰, 𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘪 (+𝘩𝘢𝘸𝘬𝘴), 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘸𝘢.

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: 18+ 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵. 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵.

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴: 1.5𝘬

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘩𝘦𝘢��𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘰𝘺𝘴/𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨/𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘶𝘯𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘹, 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦, 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘱𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘢, 𝘤𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺/𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 18. 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵, 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬. 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘪 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴. 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺. 𝘮𝘸𝘢𝘩.

“man, fuck you, the horse you rode in on, and your weak ass dick! just leave me the fuck alone.” you spit, arms crossed as you shoot the man in front of you a glare hot like jet fuel.

𝘪𝘻𝘶𝘬𝘶:

izuku midoriya is one of the sweetest people to grace the earth

there’s no doubt about it.

but know he is not afraid to put yo ass in a fucking headlock and pound his way into you, voice thick and raspy as he asks you just who the fuck you think you’re talking to.

he’s grown up quite a bit since high school

and refuses to get bitched by anyone, especially his own girlfriend.

a saccharine smile inches across peony pink lips, spreading over porcelain teeth

“you uh... you wanna repeat that, honey?”

you know you’ve made a mistake

he’s got that look in his eye, ravenous and wicked

“look...izuku, baby, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to snap like that—“

“that’s not what i asked. i asked you...if you wanna repeat that.”

would definitely strap your ankles to a spreader bar, reveling in the way you continue to writhe against it

only to cry out in desperation once you realize that the more you struggle, the wider your legs go

or he’ll make you cry as you struggle to form a coherent apology, words choppy from the the remote controlled vibe is sending shockwaves through your heavily sensitive clit

he’d kneel above you, smile wide and innocent as he turns it up to the second most powerful setting, hard-on growing at the sight of your head lolling back while you try to appease him with sorry after sorry

“i-izuku—fuck, fuck! mmh— it’s too much....please, please, ‘m sorry! i didn’t mean it, ’m too sensitive—please just let me make it up to you baby—“

“all you gotta do is say the magic words sweetheart, and i’ll give you what you need.”

yeah, he’s one of those motherfuckers.

“remind me who’s pussy this is, and this’ll all be over with.”

“god, fine!! it’s yours okay! nobody else’s..now please, please fuck me izuku, i need you—“

doesn’t hold back for a second when he’s staking his claim all over your body, a calloused thumb roving over your clit gently, mindful of your sensitivity but edging you closer and closer to a fifth orgasm

happily smears strings of thick, sticky cum all over your stomach to mark you as his

and doesn’t hesitate to lick it off the supple, soft skin of your torso, the milky white substance congealing with transparent slippery saliva

he grasps your face firmly, fingers pushing your cheeks inwards and causing your spit slicked lips to jut out in a pretty little pout

“open.” he mutters before dripping the salty concoction onto your awaiting tongue, a throaty groan rumbling in his chest as he watches you happily swallow every last drop

“good girl.”

the aftercare is immaculate, izuku taking his time to wipe you clean so tenderly, lips pressing against each and every bruise, your body pliant as he whispers sweet reassurances into your sweat soaked skin

“much better now, right?”

you nod, eyes heavy as you sink into the warmth of his chest, hands clinging to him like he could disappear at any moment

“happy i could help you relieve some of that tension honey.”

“but talk to me like that again, and i promise you that’ll be the last time you call anything about me weak, especially how i fuck you. got it?”

prepare to be not only throughly sore the next day, but to have to conceal fingerprint shaped bruises on your hips and thighs

takes pictures of your fucked out face to have for future incidents where you decide you wanna talk like you have zero home training

and isn’t afraid to flash katsuki one or two whenever he gets to talking about how he could take you from him.

𝘣𝘢𝘬𝘶𝘨𝘰:

“so that’s how you wanna act, hm? if you needed some dick you should’ve just fuckin’ said so instead of always runnin’ your damn mouth.”

he whirls you around, pelvis pressing into the small of your back, rivulets of sweat beading at the base of your neck from his close proximity

he’s such a glutton for putting little bitches like you in their place.

blade sharp canines dragging against the curve of your neck, pathetic attempts to maintain your resolve falling from unsteady lips

“the hell’s wrong with you—you already know i’m with izuku...i’m not doing this shit to him again—”

but you were already gone when his lips slotted against yours, body throbbing at the contact

now izuku was a good lover, a giver, a pleaser at heart

always putting your enjoyment above his

but eventually one grows tired of slick tongues and curved fingers, pretty whines and gentle kisses

you wanted “fuck you”s, spit flying along sick expletives hurled at your bowed, desperate figure, sweet sticky semen coating your throat after it was abused and stroked as though you were a piece of plastic.

and as luck may have it, katsuki was more than willing to provide.

yet today you’d had enough, his subtle touches when you passed one another had garnered izuku’s attention; you’d reassured the male that it was nothing to bother with, that the two of you were just coworkers.

at least when his balls aren’t in your slutty fucking mouth, thick bubbled spit dripping onto your home screen as you text izuku that you’ll be home late for “stir-friday” once again.

the best sex was on days like today, when you got just a little too reckless at the mouth

when you needed a not so gentle reminder of who’s leaving you breathless all hours of the night

takes his time with you, fingers teeming with a slight brine as they’re sloppily thrust into your mouth with a “shut the fuck up talking to me like you don’t know who the fuck i am.”

degradation? baby, you’ve met the man.

“wanna act like a bitch, that’s fine. just don’t complain when i leave you limping like one, got it?”

you’re shoved atop a desk, it’s contents forgotten as katsuki latches onto a tit and proceeds to leave mark after mark, striving to rid any trace of your lover

panties tugged to the side, fingerpads waltzing up the length of your—no, his pussy

kisses down your sternum and the plush skin of your stomach, flipping you opposite him before snaking his tongue between your southernmost lips, devouring you like a man starved

but doesn’t let you cum, not yet anyway

“katsuki—please, i need it, don’t fucking tease..”

hates when you whine because it chips at his hard exterior, he’d give anything to pull another cry from you

“beg for it then. you had so much to say earlier, eh? go ahead and put your mouth to better use, fuckin’ slut.”

spanks you while he eats it from the back cause he can

and don’t even get me started on his size kink

lives for making you feel small against his large stature and even larger ego

“damn, you’re tight...thought deku would’ve broken you in a bit more for me by now—”

his pace is angry and unforgiving like his mouth, leaving you no mercy when he finally takes his place between your thighs

“that’s it...take that shit. don’t run...come on, tell me who’s dick you go dumb for, say it—“

“yours! j-just yours, never ‘zuku. fuck! m’ so fucking close please, please—“

cant fill you up like he wants, but settles for painting your body with splotches of white, watching them mix with your now-purpling bruises

and when izuku calls your phone on the hour to ask when you’ll be home, that cocky fuck answers

“relax. your little girlfriend and i are at the office with some reports, she’s so damn uptight...been on my dick this entire time. “

“should probably loosen her up more, maybe she’d be less annoying.”

𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘪:

he secretly loves it when you get like this

while dabi loves the rush of tossing around some brainless slut with a thing for fucking mass murderers

pussy was much better when it came with a little resistance, a little push back before he got what he wanted

“dabi come on..let her be. i’m sorry sweetness, this guy botherin’ you?”

his counterpart, keigo, was a top tier scumbag with grade-A looks, words mingling with a dulcet voice that could turn water into wine if he pleased

sienna wings bristled against his shoulder blades as he leaned down, an arm coming across your chest casually, bent over the back of the couch

“don’t call me that shit. actually, both of you are bothering me.” you grit, a hand swatting away tanned nimble fingers that were slowly making their way towards a breast

“see what i mean kei? she’s being a fucking brat. can’t stand bitches like her, always thinking they’re too good for guys like us.”

dabi takes a seat to your left, cyan eyes raking over the curve of your hips ravenously, staples gleaming in the bar’s gentle yellow glow

he was going to have so much fun breaking you in.

“ i think i know what her problem is....somebody just wants a little attention, right? hell, look at how she’s dressed...”

keigo’s eyes have taken on a darker energy, a hand winding around the width of your neck and squeezing lightly

“i don’t want anything from either of you assholes—wait, the hell are you trying to—ah!”

taking advantage of your pliant state, dabi’s hands begin to roam over exposed skin, a scarred set of hands slithering up your top

his abrasive fingers tweak your nipples roughly, rolling them between a forefinger and thumb with a lustful glare

“come on...don’t you want us to make you feel good? tell us you don’t want us to cream you like a fuckin’ twinkie, and we’ll leave your bitchy ass high and fucking dry, just like this.”

you hate them, the last thing you want is for either of these douchebags to be what gets you off

but god do keigo’s lips feel like heaven on earth when they’re against your pulse point like that, and dabi’s profuse experience shows in the way he manipulates your body to make you sigh in ecstasy, fingers slipping past drenched lace with ease to tease your sensitive clit...

“we—we shouldn’t do this out here, someone might see...s-shit, ah fuck—”

“so what? don’t want everyone to see how much you like getting double teamed?” keigo taunts, tongue darting out to soothe the harsh bruise he’d finished sucking into the skin beneath your ear

“nah, i think we’ll take you right here. besides, it’s just us and the boss man tonight. ‘should let him watch though, maybe he’d learn a thing or two about what a good fuck really looks like instead of that hentai shit.”

“so...you in or not? my hand’s starting to cramp.”

you nod, the motion serving at the catalyst for a number of debaucherous things that would soon happen to your body

marking is an absolute must

keigo’s practically feral once he knows you’re his to play with, love bites littering the expanse of your tits, neck, even the inside of your thighs

dabi marks you too, but he’s not nearly as nice as keigo, leaving handprints all over your ass, each one accompanied by a harsh yet tolerable burn

you can thank his quirk for that

they’re sloppy and they know it, dabi’s spit creating web-like strings connecting your pussy lips together, the metal barbell wedged between tongue muscle retreating from beneath your trembling thighs

meanwhile keigo’s reveling in the way your spit coats his dick in an effortless gloss, a hand keeping your head steady as he drives into your throat with reckless abandon

the saliva making its way down through the valley of your breasts while you struggle to breathe, eyes watering in both panic and pleasure as the two use you like a toy

they take turns, metal and heady sweat flood your tastebuds when dabi takes on keigo’s previous stance

dabi certainly makes sure you give his balls special attention. it doesnt enhance his pleasure, he just likes seeing you get so nasty for him.

not so high and mighty when you’re gargling the dick of one of japan’s most wanted, are you?

keigo’s dick reaches depths you didn’t think possible, tip prodding your innermost spots and making you sputter pathetically around dabi’s length, eyes burning as you try to control the heat in your lungs

“nah nah nah, don’t get all teary eyed now—thought it was “fuck us and our weak ass dick”? hm? well this weak ass dick’s makin’ you choke like a two dollar whore, and keigo’s about to pump that sloppy cunt full of cum...still think you’re better than us?”

you’re tossed between the two men like a ragdoll, until your body’s spent and you’re bred so good that you drip with their mix of fluids every time you shift a little

the men don’t hesitate to compliment your endurance, praising you for being “such a good little fucktoy”.

which in dabi’s words, is the closest you’ll ever get to a “sorry for bothering you”.

𝘢𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘸𝘢:

let me tell you a thing or two about shota.

he has no time, or tolerance, for bullshit.

between his atrocious sleep schedule, nightly patrols, and his day job as a high school teacher, he doesn’t have the capacity for mind games

so when you’d snapped on him like that, he did what he felt like was the most logical thing

he left you alone. he wasn’t about to get into some childish argument all because he didn’t give you the reaction you’d wanted over a dress

aizawa’s not a reactive man by nature

so when you’d purchased the sultry number, seams tight and neckline waivering on indecent

he’d merely hummed at the article of clothing in approval, committing the sight to memory before going back to finish reviewing his lesson plans for next week

which to you, wasn’t good enough. you wanted him to exhibit some sort of lust, something that made you feel like you still had him in the palm of your hand

it wasn’t like the two of you weren’t having sex, no not at all. but you wanted to feel like he wasn’t just attracted to you, but craved, desired, was desperate for your touch every now and again

and when he’d given his...lackluster feedback, you exploded, the two of you briefly exchanging words before you’d said that. shota was in no mood to argue, so he excused himself from the room to continue his work

“sorry if i actually want to, you know, feel desired by my own boyfriend? god, it’s like you don’t even look at me anymore.”

that comment stung, even recalling your wounded tone made his heart ache

was he really not paying attention to you?

but, unsurprisingly, the feelings of anger didn’t abate. just what made you think you could play these games with him, the two of you were grown, you knew if you wanted something all you had to do was ask—it made no sense

steel pen tip digging into the hurried scrawl of kaminari’s essay....if you could even call it that, he rose from his desk, relieved his tense neck from the presence of hair by knotting it into a high ponytail

beginning to strip as he made his way toward your shower

you wanted him to look at you? alright. he’d do exactly that, and then some. just remember, be careful what you wish for.

“shota? look... i’m sorry for how i acted earlier. i should’ve just communicated how i felt instead of blowing up on you like that, i just get frustrated with how much you work and how we never see each other, and it makes it hard for me to—mmph!”

he meets your lips with a subdued roughness, hands splayed across your hips, water trickling across stiffened knuckles while he fumbled and scoured for any piece of you he could manage to grasp

“you said you feel like i don’t look at you anymore.”

“lets fix that. i have a proposition for you. if you manage to hold eye contact with me for however long it takes for you to cum, my body’s yours to do whatever you want with.”

“however...look away for even a second, and i’ll have no problem reminding you just how much you can take before you’re begging for me to fuck you. you know how...efficient i can be. sound fair?”

now something he’d alluded to, but never said about this little agreement? there was no way for you to win.

on days where his exhaustion levels weren’t at an all time low, he’d find himself lapping at the slightly acidic, rich nectar between your thighs for hours and hours on end

so what made you think you even had the resolve to maintain eye contact the entire time?

you lose, though that was to be expected

and shota couldn’t be happier about it

now while it’s practically canon that he’s into bondage, let’s switch things up a bit

honestly, he’s the type to love proving a point.

he’ll make you ride his dick, not letting you stop for a second even though he’s practically in your stomach at this point

bad at it? he doesn’t care. your knees are giving out? not his problem.

“sho-please, i can’t, ‘s too big...fuck—“

“damn, and to think i had ‘weak ass dick’ before. now you can’t take it? pick a side sweetheart, your desperation is showing.”

he’s not incredibly vocal in the bedroom as that’s just not who he is

but makes an exception when it comes to making fun of you

“come on, you can swallow more than that, right? tch. you’ve gotten lazy.”

is another one of those “take a photo for future reference” type of people. but he’s respectful of not only your privacy but his own, and keeps it in the hidden photos folder of his camera roll like a sane adult.

he had to learn the hard way about the importance of concealing scandalous materials that one time hizashi was using screen sharing to suggest a new learning course during a staff meeting

only for the blonde to scroll and several pairs of eyes in the room to be blessed (or cursed) with the sight of a rather ecstatic looking woman bent in a position that would make a gymnast blush

also likes to give you sloppy, shallow half strokes to drive you to the point of insanity before spreading your ass cheeks and molding your body to the bed beneath you

“you wanna know what i was thinking about when you walked out with that dress on? hm? i wondered... ‘how long it would take before we used it as a cumrag after i was done with you?’ i thought about doing this.”

oh, and by the way, there’s a mirror above your bed for a reason. but we’ll get into that some other time, won’t we?

#izuku midoriya x reader #bakugo x reader #dabi x reader #hawks x reader #aizawa x reader #deku smut #bakugo smut #dabi smut #hawks smut #aizawa smut #mha smut #mha x reader #bnha x reader #kittybutmakeitferal #thanks once again for 1k you nasties!

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allmyspideys · 4 years ago

Note

a poe dameron x reader angst that ends with fluff maybe 🥺👉👈

Hi okay so i took this in a little bit of a different way and our “angst” is more like bickering coworkers aka enemies to wounded to… lovers :) i hope this is okay! If it’s not, just ask again and i’ll give you some real angst! Requests are still open btw lovies!!

“Dameron!” You yelled, hopping down from your x-wing, not even waiting for a ladder. Across the hanger Poe Dameron stood with his stupid little hands on his hips with his stupid big head back laughing with the other members of his team.

“Poe!” You yelled again as you marched your way over to him. The little crowd that had grown around him quickly dissipated when they saw you coming. It wasn’t that you had a reputation per se, it was more that you had a reputation with Poe and no one wanted to be close enough to accidentally get caught in the crossfire.

Poe smirked as he saw you coming, trying to ignore the fact that his heart picked up a little bit when he saw you jump out of your x-wing and immediately call his name. He liked the way his name sounded coming out of your mouth, but he would never tell you that.

“Captain,” he said cooly, “that was some good flying out there today”.

“Yeah,” you chided, voice thick with sarcasm and spite, “well I was the only team leader that had some good flying”.

Poe gave a little chuckle before turning and beginning to walk away. He unzipped his flight suit and tied the sleeves around his waist. You faltered for a second, caught up by the way Poe’s tanned and shiny skin rippled over his muscles as he pulled down the sleeves. You couldn’t help but ogle at the contrast between his soft black tank top stretching across the peak of his shoulder. Just for a second you allowed yourself to imagine those arms wrapped around you in comfort, or being used to pin you against something harder, but you shook yourself out of that daydream. It was Poe Dameron after all and there were nicer men in the Resistance than him.

“Don’t you walk away from me Dameron,” you spat, falling in step closely behind, ignoring the voice in your head that told you to flat tire your Commander, “you could have killed someone today! You were reckless and dangerous-”

“Listen Gold Leader, I knew what I was doing and I knew where you were. It was just a flyby,” Poe said, maintaining his cool attitude, “Now go get a few drinks with your team. I know they miss you”.

You tried to hold your tongue, you really did, but there was just something about Poe Dameron and chilled out attitude to everything stupid and cocky he did. It had been building for a while, but mentioning your team was the last straw and you just snapped.

“Well Black Leader, maybe someone else should be leading your team,” you spat, voice full of venom, “instead of someone with a superiority complex with the sole focus on himself”.

Poe spun around and his face was just as angry as yours. It surprised you and caused you to stumble back a little bit, but Poe’s arm reached out around your waist and pulled you close. If it were any other situation, both you and Poe would be reveling in the mutual warmth raiding off of one another and committing the closeness of one another to memory.

“Enough Captain,” Poe noted the way your face showed a flash of fear before returning to stubborn anger, “I am your Commander and you will respect my orders. Now go be with your team and don’t speak to me like that again,” the tension was palpable, but only the quick flick of your eyes to Poe’s lips would have given away that it was because of anything other than the argument you were having, “Is that understood?”. Poe leaned closer on each word, so that his breath was hot on your face and hand warm around your back. In any other situation it could have been hot and enjoyable to have him that close.

You gave a dry chuckle, “Pulling rank,” you leaned closer to Poe’s face, “You only do this because you know I’m right”.

Poe tried to think of a retort, but his mind was consumed by the fact that your lips were mere centimeters away from his. He could only think about the way your nose was flaring out of anger in the same way it flared when you laughed with your team. He wanted to say something, but the notice of your hand on his chest radiating warmth short circuited his brain and he just could think of anything other than you. Poe’s eyes scanned your face for any indication that you were feeling the same way he was and landed on your lips.

At that moment, BB-8 bumped into Poe’s feet, causing him to let go and pull away. He looked over you one last time before turning away again.

“Go be with your team Commander,” he said, sauntering away.

You were both so stubborn and hotheaded, though it showed in different ways. For every instance that you were organized, Poe was impulsive and for every time that Poe was calculating, you were there to point out every flaw. There was a time that Leia thought you’d make a good team. That’s why she appointed you Gold Leader to work with Poe as Black Leader, but the first time she saw you in a meeting, she quickly realized that she was wrong. All you did was bicker, both needing to be right, but Leia knew that one day you’d agree and make one hell of a stubborn decisive team. She knew that Poe would run headfirst into battle if you were hurt and you’d lay down entire armies if it meant getting to Poe. Leia wasn’t the only one to see it, but she was the first to see that behind all the bitterness, there was so much care and concern for the other. It just needed to be brought out, and one day it would.

It happened for Poe first. Poe knew he cared about you, and that he was attracted to you, but he also knew that your moments of stubbornness were very annoying. In that though, you were the only person he allowed to speak to him as you did. Maybe no one else had a reason to yell at him or maybe no one else had the guts, but if anyone else tried, Poe knew that he wouldn’t like it because that was reserved for you. He liked that about you, but he also really didn’t like that too.

Poe knew that you needed to work on your x-wing and he did too, so after asking around your team, he found out exactly when you’d be in the hanger. So the night before, he moved his x-wing right next to yours, so you’d have to share a toolbox and at least talk about that.

You were still pissed off about Poe pulling rank on you and hadn’t spoken to him more than you had to in the weeks following and Poe missed you. He missed talking about new x-wing parts and upgrades. He missed the way your eyes would light up when you talked about your home planet. He even missed the teasing bickering. It all brought so much joy to him. He was going to make sure that his plan worked and that he got to talk to you again.

Poe was working on his x-wing long before you were; he wanted to look like he had planned it before you did, so he could tease you about always finding him. Poe liked to tease you to watch you roll your eyes and flash him a little smirk.

Poe looked up at the sound of your footsteps across the hanger. He was beautiful. The way his wild curls were fully unruly and fluffy made you want to run to him and just run your fingers through his hair. His fingers were covered in grease and arms glistening with sweat. He was wearing that stupid black tank top again that fully showed off his arms and numbed your brain a little bit. As you got closer, you could see the glint of happiness in Poe’s eyes as he tried to shove down the smile that was threatening to burst out of him purely from seeing you.

As you walked by him, Poe called out to you, “When I saw your x-wing parked next to mine I knew you’d come running to see me,” he finally flashed you his big grin causing you to smile a little too, “you just couldn’t help yourself huh.”

“Not when it comes to you, baby,” you quipped back, giving Poe a little bump. Calling him baby was a common joke between you two, but every time it gave a flurry of flutters in Poe’s stomach and he longed for you to call him baby for real. He wanted to hear you call him baby when you woke up in the middle of the night and wanted more cuddles. He wanted you to call him baby as you held his head against your chest after a long mission. He didn’t know that you wanted that too.

Very quickly you fell into a gentle conversation, talking about everything from BB-8 asking for a new antenna and the droid you were looking at getting, to telling Poe more about your homeland and him telling you about his mom. Every now and then you’d ask Poe, “could you pass me …” and every time Poe’s breath would stop for the split second that his hand brushed yours and you gave him a wide smile and a thanks.

As you reached into your x-wing, something sliced your hand and you immediately jumped back, clamping your other hand over it, trying to stop the bleeding before it started.

“Oh dear Maker!” you shouted, face scrunching up in pain. Immediately, Poe was at your side, hands already starting to run over yours, looking for anything that was wrong.

“Here, use my bandanna to hold pressure,” he said, trying to move your hands out of the way to see the cut. You held the bandana over your finger, but started trying to move away from Poe. Every step and turn you took, Poe countered.

“Could you just stop and go get me the first aid kit,” you yelled at him. Poe ran to grab it and came back to you immediately trying to fix you up again.

“Poe stop!” Poe’s deep brown eyes flicked up to yours and you could see the concern in his eyes. You’d never actually seen Poe worried about you. Sure, you had heard about Poe asking your teammates how you were doing or how a mission went, but it was never to your face. Seeing it sparked something deep inside of you, a warmth that made you regret snapping at him.

“I can do it myself,” you whispered, looking down, unable to look him in the eye.

“I know,” Poe tilted your chin up, so he could see your beautiful face, “but you don’t have to”. Poe’s voice was so warm and full of care, that you looked back up at him to see something more than just concern, but you couldn’t quite tell what it was. Poe knew what it was. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself for a long time, but finally, the love he had for you broke through. Poe loved you and he wanted you to know.

Poe put as much love as he possibly could into gently wiping away the blood and cleaning up your wound, muttering a small “sorry” when you hissed at the pain. The love he was feeling fueled his hands wrapping yours in gauze and fueled his lips as he gave your palm a small kiss.

“All better,” he said, resisting the urge to lean down and give your head a small kiss too as he put away the first aid kit.

Poe knew that he loved you, but you just felt warm and fuzzy and confused, unwilling to let yourself think that Poe Dameron could view you as anything other than his inferior that he shoved in your face only a few weeks prior. Part of you wanted to hold onto that feeling, letting the warmth from Poe’s hands on yours linger, but the other part wanted to shove the warmth spreading through your chest from the care that Poe gave you so far down. You thought you had, but every now and again, Poe would flash you a smile from across a hanger and your cheeks would get warm with the spreading warmth from your heart.

You’d never tell anyone, but you really didn’t need to. Leia saw it immediately. She saw the way that Poe would gently grab your wrist as you yelled at him for something stupid he had done. She watched the way he would lean back in his chair, resigned to accept whatever you were giving him. She saw that meetings started to go more and more smoothly as you would actually listen to each other and build a plan, together. Leia even saw the few times Poe pulled you aside to apologize for getting too heated when you two did disagree.

Is kind of sad that it took Poe getting seriously hurt for you to willingly admit it, but all is fair in love and war. You were never told what actually happened, but the second that Snap ran into your room telling you that Poe was hurt, you set off running. Snap followed closely behind rattling off the whole story, but all you heard were words. You heard him say “Poe was fixing your ship” and that was the last thing that registered; you’re only thought was getting to Poe.

After pushing your way through people and mumbling excuse me, you finally saw him. Poe was laying on a little cot, right above the ground in the hanger. His whole arm was covered in blood from a gash that no one could get to stop bleeding. You heard someone say that Medical was on their way, but when you locked eyes with Poe, it was like everyone else completely disappeared. You heard your heart beating in your ears as that familiar warmth started to consume your chest.

Poe looked into your eyes and saw that same look you saw in his. It was concern and a little something more, but this time, Poe knew exactly what that little something was. It was love. He knew it and now you knew it too.

“Captain,” he said, still using that annoying chill attitude, “come to see me off?”

You knew it was a joke and that he was talking about Medical guaranteeably grounding him for a while, but it felt too much like death. Tears sprung to your eyes as you thought about losing the love so soon after you finally admitted it.

“Shut up Dameron,” you commanded with a sad chuckle. You got on the ground to lean in close to Poe’s face. “You’re gonna be fine”.

Poe gave you his infamous smile, warming your whole body once again. You noted the way Poe’s eyes crinkled and nose scrunched up a little bit when he smiled. You wanted to see that face everyday. You wanted to wake up next to that face and jump out of your x-wing just to see that face grinning at you across the hanger. You wanted Poe.

“Careful Gold Leader, someone might think you actually like me,” Poe chided. Poe’s grin grew wider as he saw you break out into a little smirk. He would do anything to see that smile, even if it meant teasing you when just breathing was taking up so much of his energy.

You reached out to lace your fingers with Poe’s and gave him a little squeeze. Of course you liked him, everyone knew that, but not everyone knew that you loved him. Though if they looked at the two of you sitting there, they’d know immediately. Poe’s eyes were bright, staring deep into your loving ones, both with a wide smile despite the physical pain, your hands now bloody from trying to help as much as you could, and most importantly, the complete bliss of being that near each other. It may have taken you far longer than it should have to admit to yourself that you loved Poe Dameron, but once you did, there was no going back, and honestly, you didn’t want to.

“And what if I wanted someone to know that I love you,” you asked. Your eyes were still so full of love, but your nervous smile gave you away. Poe felt like he was floating; he knew you loved him because he felt it every time you interacted, but finally hearing you say it made his whole world seem better. Poe reached up to cup your face, but pulled back slightly because he didn’t want to get any blood on you, but blood washes off and your love did not, so you leaned your face into his palm, recognizing the radiating care that flowed from all of Poe’s touches.

“Then I would tell someone that I love you too,” Poe’s voice was laced with love and adoration. It made you feel so incredibly warm and fuzzy, loved and supported, and lucky. It may have taken a long time full of bickering and frustration, but Poe Dameron was guaranteeably your best friend, and you were so happy to be in love with him.

As Leia looked onto the scene unfolding in front of her, she knew that you were finally the team you were meant to be. She knew that you would hunt across the galaxy if it meant finding Poe. There would still be bickering and teasing, but that’s where the love began, and at the end of the day, Poe would hold you in his arms and remind you of all the sweet things he loved about you.

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missmis · 3 years ago

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I’ve been having a lot of heated debates recently over which actors are the best in certain roles, so I thought long and hard about my ideal Les Mis cast.

For some roles, I have several actors (mainly Enjolras, because every guy who’s ever played him seems to be gorgeous). For some roles, there is only one person who just IS that character to me.

Now without further ado, here we go:

Jean Valjean: Alfie Boe, always. He perfectly conveys Valjean’s transition from angry convict to noble and almost saintly, plus his voice still gives me chills every time. I could write an entire post exclusively on the sheer perfection of his high note at the end of “Bring Him Home”, but that is a subject for another day. Honourable mention: John Owen-Jones because his voice is incredible, too-but he overdoes it on the anger sometimes.

Javert: ooh, that’s a tough one. I’d say it’s probably a tie between Earl Carpenter (who has the warmest and most powerful baritone ever) and Norm Lewis, who does the cold-hearted arrogance perfectly. Honourable mention: Richard Woodford, who used to be Grantaire and Javert’s understudy ages ago. Most people probably won’t know him, but he is honestly amazing- and a lovely guy.

Fantine: Carrie Hope Fletcher. Her voice can be powerful or soft as needed and she really captures Fantine’s pain. Honourable mention: Lea Salonga, whose voice is also gorgeous, but whose acting I find a little exaggerated sometimes.

Éponine: Samantha Barks will always be the one true Éponine for me. Her voice is incredible, she looks right (because in my head, Éponine is always dark-haired) and she portrays the whole unrequited love thing to perfection. And yes, I may possibly have a tiny crush on her... Or a big one.

Cosette: Honestly, Cosette always annoyed the heck out of me until I discovered Lily Kerhoas. She’s completely lovestruck-as the character should be- but she manages to turn Cosette into an actual person and not just a one-dimensional teenager who was put in to make all the guys look better. And that is honestly a huge accomplishment. Honourable mention: Amanda Seyfried, although her incredibly high soprano is a bit too much for my ears.

Marius: I loved Eddie Redmayne’s portrayal in the film version. His general adorable shyness steals my heart every time. I also love Rob Houchen, who has a gorgeous voice and who captures the innocence of the character. And Gareth Gates does hands down the best version of “A Little Fall of Rain” I’ve ever seen, because he actually seems to care that Éponine just died, unlike many other actors who’ve played this role.

Enjolras: As I said, there are so many amazing people who have played him. But if I had to choose one, it’d probably be Bradley Jaden (and no, I’m not just saying that because his man bun is a blessing to this fandom). I love his passion and the sheer power he brings to the character. Aaron Tveit is also up there with my favourites-he may not be the greatest singer, but he looks exactly like Book Enjolras and he gets that coldness and indifference-especially towards poor Grantaire- just right. Then there’s Killian Donnelly whose Irish accent I absolutely adore. Oh and lastly, Ramin Karimloo, of course-he may not look like your classical Enjolras, but the light of rebellion is ablaze in his eyes :)

Monsieur Thénardier: the one and only, the inimitable Matt Lucas. He is simply hilarious, which is actually kind of an ethical issue, because he almost makes me like Monsieur T. And every time someone says “Cosette”, I now hear “Courgette” in my head, which is entirely his fault.

Madame Thénardier: Katy Secombe. She’s mean, she’s funny, she’s brash, her facial expressions are everything and her voice can knock you off your feet. Especially great in combination with Matt Lucas. Honestly, I’d pay to see these two do stand-up comedy together.

Gavroche: Also a tough one. My favourite is probably Daniel Huttlestone in the film, just because he’s so adorable I want to adopt him. I also love Robert Madge’s mischievous and cocky Gavroche in the 25th and recently, Logan Clark, whose antics give me life.

Grantaire: He’s my favourite character, so I’m kind of picky about who plays him. Only two guys have found mercy before my eyes. One: George Blagden, whose pining for Enjolras was the only thing that kept me watching the film. I will never stop being pissed that they cut his solo in “Drink With Me”. Two: Keith Anthony Higham. He has the richest voice ever and he just gets Grantaire-the cynicism, the drama and the unrequited love thing. If you haven’t already, watch his 2008 version of “Drink With Me” with David Thaxton. Thank me later.

Courfeyrac: Fra Fee- I love his passion and his friendship with Gavroche in the film. Plus, he has a beautiful voice. Also the guy from the 2019 staged concert- I believe his name is Michael Sheehy, but I could be wrong. He is honestly hilarious.

Combeferre: Killian Donnelly. He gets the whole slightly-exasperated-by-all-of-these-irresponsible-idiots professorial vibe. And he has a very powerful voice.

Feuilly: Matthew Gent because of his lovely soft singing and his funny-as-hell facial expressions.

Joly: Jamie Muscato, who is just such an adorable goofball.

Bossuet/Lesgles/Laigle/the dude with a hundred different names: I don’t know the guy’s name, but he’s in the 25th. Firstly, because he’s actually bald and thus, about ten times more accurate than most other portrayals and secondly, because his voice is warm and soft and it’s actually a shame he hasn’t got more lines to sing.

Bahorel: Again, the dude from the movie- Iwan Lewis, I think he’s called. Just the right amount of recklessness.

Jehan Prouvaire: I haven’t really found anyone I like in this role yet. I’m not that big a fan of Alistair Brammer for some reason, so if someone could help me out here, I’d be grateful.

The Bishop: Also Earl Carpenter, because his voice is-for lack of a better description-like a nice, warm blanket. And I like Colm Wilkinson in this role, too.

I hope I haven’t missed any characters. If I have, please do point them out to me. I hope you’ve enjoyed my analysis- I tried to make it about more than just “Oh, I like this person because they’re hot”. Feel free to share your own opinions and remember: these are just my subjective ones.

#les mis #les miz #les misérables #les amis #jean valjean #fantine les mis #éponine #marius pontmercy #javert

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yetanotherpotterpage · 4 years ago

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the idea of loving you | 4

Being in love is never easy. Especially with a certain blonde-haired Slytherin around.. /4th year, Voldemort not coming back/

pairing: Draco x Ravenclaw reader

word count: 2300

warnings: bad language, smut (kinda)

a/n: Uni is kicking my butt, but I finally finished chapter 4. Thank you so much for all the positive feedback, I love you all <3

There was an awkward tension lingering between Cho and you as you were walking back to your dorm from the party. She was walking a bit ahead of you, so you didn't get to see the face she was making. You were scared. This was the worst possible outcome of the night. You wanted to talk it out with her, but you were too nervous to start speaking. You've already been through so much together the last few years, from small arguments because of your untidiness to full-on fights because her first boyfriend called you a bitch, and she did nothing. But still, you've solved everything. You've suddenly stopped walking when you realized that running from this was only making it worse. It was now only her footsteps that echoed on the empty stairs. When she noticed you stopped, she turned around to look at you. She didn't seem angry or mad. She seemed just as confused and scared as you did, and seeing that gave you the strength to talk.

"Cho... How are you feeling?" you asked sheepishly, fingers fidgeting with the rings you were wearing.

She took a long pause before answering. You felt your heart racing more and more with each passing second. "If it's about the kiss, it's all good y/n. You did what you had to do."

It was almost midnight. You figured your other roommate was already asleep, so you sat down on the top of the spiral staircase of the Ravenclaw tower. Cho immediately joined you .

"You know, I've always imagined my first kiss to be with Cedric," you started, eyes fixated on the cracks of the stairs. " I thought it's going to be in our garden on a summer afternoon with the blue sky above us while the sun warmed our skins. That we'd just lay there on the grass, and he'd finally steal a kiss. You have no idea how much I wanted this. I gave him so many opportunities, but he never took them. It hurt so bad, I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't wished to feel nothing at all. I thought that I'm never going to get over him. But when we kissed it wasn't like I imagined it to be. It was disappointing, really. It's not that the kiss itself was bad, I-I guess I'm just changing." you said, finally looking up, to see her reaction.

She looked at you, her tender eyes full of sympathy. "Telling me all this... I knew you're not a chicken," she chuckled softly, but her face turned serious as she continued. "I always wondered how much it hurts you that Cedric and me... you know, are dating. I was always so scared that you're going to break, even if you said it was okay. I live in constant guilt y/n." she said, trying to blink her tears away.

"I'm full of self-love, you've got to try harder if you want to break a person like me," you laughed, which made her smile.

You've talked for a little while, before deciding it was better to get going. That night you slept together in your bed. She fell asleep quickly but your thoughts kept you up. It was dark, the only source of illumination was the moonlight from your tall windows. You stared at the ceiling as you listened to her breathing. Life really was unfair, you thought.

The next day was chaotic. No one cared about the classes, since everyone was thrilled about the upcoming ball that day. Even the teachers looked excited, and most of them gave you permission to read quietly or study for other classes. Not Snape though, he seemed like he was over this whole ball thing, so you brew potions. You didn't mind it, it was something you were good at. There was just one little thing that annoyed you, and it was a blue pair of eyes that burned a hole in the back of your head. You turned around in annoyance, not wanting to put up with this anymore. But your angry eyes were met with a playful wink from his end. You rolled your eyes and turned back in your seat, trying to concentrate on your potion when you heard him call your name.

"Psst, y/l/n."

You let out an audible sigh, then turned to him. "What?"

"Hope you're looking good for me tonight darling, I wouldn't want to hang out with Pansy all night," he said with a grin.

Your blood was boiling at that point. Who does he think he is? Leaving you like that in the Three Broomsticks and making you feel like you're easily replaced as he's openly flirting with everyone in front of you, was not it. You're not even going to mention the fact that you were just a tool for him to get under Harry's skin. You seriously needed to do something about his cockiness. You needed to take the lead. And you needed to do it tonight.

Classes were finally over, so you ran to your dorm to meet up with your friends. You all decided that you're all going to get ready together. You were sitting on a chair, trying to put on your necklace as Marietta did your makeup. Or, at least she tried.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, y/n. Stop moving!" She said in a slightly annoyed tone. It was the fourth time she said that in the last 2 minutes.

"Sorry," you said. You realized you were very bad at sitting in one place for a longer period of time. You also realized that it hurts a lot when someone pokes your eyeball with a mascara wand.

After an hour of dolling you up, you were done, and you felt beautiful. Marietta did amazing on your makeup. It wasn't much, but it really enhanced your features, making you look the prettiest you've looked in a while. You did your own hair, and while you weren't the best at it, you've managed to do something presentable. Or so you thought before Cho offered to do it for you because she thought it was only half-done. You took her offer without hesitation.

"Merlin, look at us, we look so good," Cho said in awe after you were all done.

"Yeah, and look at our titties, we are full-grown women now," Marietta said while giving her boobs a squeeze. You agreed, looking at your own pair of boobs. All of you showed a little cleavage, except for Cho. She was a little more conservative in this field.

"Girls! You are intellectual women, and intellectual women don't talk about their tits," Cho laughed.

"Well, I guess we are intellectual women, who also love their tits," you compromised while trying to fix the strap of your dress.

When you went down to find Draco, you saw him already waiting for you. And Merlin, he looked immoral, with his perfectly styled hair and expensive tuxedo. When his eyes met yours you felt your cheeks heat up. No, you can't do this right now, you had to concentrate, you thought. But it was hard with him looking like that.

When you got closer to him, he let out a low whistle as he looked you up and down, not even trying to hide the fact that he was checking you out. "You clean up well, y/l/n," he said, before taking your hand and kissing the back of it. Merlin, he made you so nervous, but you needed to loosen up for this to work. Tonight, you make him pay.

Entering the great hall, your jaw dropped. It had never looked better. Everything was white and silver, and it looked so elegant. There were a few circular tables on either side of the room, and each table had its own ice sculpture in the middle. The first two tables from the door served drinks and food, and at the very back of the room stood 3 snow-covered Christmas trees. It was beautiful, you thought.

The waltz went pretty well. Draco was a surprisingly good dancer, but the real fun started after the formalities. Luna told you, that some people mixed some Firewhiskey into the punch bowl. Some people being Fred and George. After hearing this, you quickly hopped to the table to pour yourself some. You've danced a lot that night, although you weren't sure if what you were doing could've been classified as dancing. You were mostly just jumping up and down and swinging your hip to the rhythm of the music. But the more punch you drank, you better you got at it. You were in the middle of slow dancing with Luna to a slower song when a hand grabbed your waist from behind. As you turned around you were met with none other than Draco himself. You kind of lost him after the waltz, since you went dancing with your friends, and he went off with his.

"Where were you?" you asked him as he put one of his hands on your lower back and pulled you close to him, while the other reached for your hand. You were dancing with him now.

"With Pansy," he said simply, as he spun you around. " It got boring too quickly though." His voice was low, and you were suddenly aware of the close proximity between you two.

"So you came back, to me," you drawled. "How noble." His hand on your back was dangerously low now.

He licked his lips "Don't worry, we didn't do anything bad. I'm all yours tonight." His voice hardly rose over a whisper. You wouldn't have survived this conversation if not for the alcohol in you.

"Oh is that true?" you teased. Your faces were so close, that one small push could easily end in your lips pressed together.

"Want me to show you?" he breathed, eyes never leaving yours.

"Oh, I don't know, I might need a bit more motivation," you said with a smirk. Everything happened quickly. He gave you a grin, then guided your hands to the back of his neck before he raised your chin with his fingers, there was a pause, while he looked you in the eye with a serious expression before he kissed you. Your body reacted instinctively, and you opened your mouth a little, letting him deepen the kiss. It wasn't an innocent, sweet one. No, it was heated, and full of passion. Merlin, you hated how good it felt. He let out a groan as you bit his lower lip and you felt like the world was spinning around you.

"Was this motivating enough?" he whispered into your ear as he ended the kiss.

You bit your lips in hesitation. What you were about to do was very stupid and reckless, but this was your chance. He's made a fool of you several times before, but not today. This time it was you that wanted to leave him wrecked. "Let's get out of here," you purred.

So there you were, in an empty, half-lit corridor that echoed of your panting. This whole situation was so sinful. Red, swollen lips and hungry eyes were the only things you saw. You curled your fingers in the hair at his nape and jerked your hips against his, which resulted in a low groan from him. His eyes greedy as he snaked an arm around your waist, resting it on the curve of your ass, to urge you closer. You didn't waste a second, as you rolled your hips against his, feeling his hardening length as you sucked bruises on his delicate skin. He threw his head back to the wall in pleasure, as he let out a groan before he started fidgeting with the zipper on your dress.

You chuckled lowly as you snapped his hand away, "Eager much?" you cooed.

"You're such a fucking tease," he smirked with heavy eyelids.

"I'm not this easy, you might need to persuade me a little more," you purred. You'd definitely be embarrassed at your behavior, but the combination of alcohol and seeing the Slytherin Prince a desperate mess under your hands made you shameless. When you were with Cedric, you felt like a girl, and you liked that feeling. But with Draco, you felt like a woman. You felt dangerous and desired and it drove you crazy.

Your lips parted as he brushed his thumb against your lower lip before his fingers followed a trail under your jaw, hooking a finger under your necklace to pull you closer to him. "Is this how you want to play, y/l/n?" lips brushing against yours as he spoke before he snapped his hips forward. He was so hot, you wanted nothing more than to finish what you've started. And you were sure, you will at some point, but this wasn't that night. He looked at you, with confusion in his eyes as you took a step back and cleared your throat.

"What are you doing?" he asked, in disbelief.

"Oh, I forgot I promised Harry a dance, and we certainly wouldn't want to make him wait now, do we?" you breathed, with a sly smile on your lips, before turning around to go back to the great hall.

He stood there in complete shock. He couldn't believe that this really just happened. You played him and left him with blue balls. He let out a laugh in disbelief when you had the audacity to turn around and send him a wink before disappearing into the hallway.

"Two can play at that game y/l/n," he said before he fixed himself, and headed back to the ball to find Pansy.

taglist: @dreaming-about-fanfictions @streetfighterrichie

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco #malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fanfiction #cedric diggory #yule ball #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #gryffindor #slytherin #fanfiction #hogwarts

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nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years ago

Text

DREAMING

Pairing: FFXV NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 2.219

Warnings: angst - fluff;

A/N: Yeah... Nyx... again... I know... this man gives me all the feelings...

Synopsis: YN has a crush on someone and romanticizes about the unknown man. But not everyone is fond of hearing about the infatuation.

"YN? Hey, YN!"

"Y-yeah? What is it?", you asked, feeling confused as if you got woken suddenly from a deep dream.

"Are you daydreaming again? The guy again?", Crowe asked teasingly, nudging your shoulder with her own.

"Wh-what? N-no?", you stammered, looking around if someone had heard her.

"Was that a question?", Crowe asked amused and watched how your cheeks were reddening.

"Oh, come on. Stop this! I... I can't change it, okay? I mean, he's so.. ugh... He's so damn sexy and beautiful. Alone his eyes...", you breathed with a dreaming expression, resting your head in your hands as you thought about the man that occupied your mind for a few weeks.

Crowe chuckled and shook her head about your fling, not really getting your points because she never saw him in such a way, "You should really talk to him.", she suggested for the thousandths time.

You stared at her with big eyes like always, "Are you crazy? I can't! I- I could never...", you whispered in shock. You were too scared about the reaction of the outcome if you would confess your feelings to your crush.

"You have nothing to fear. Trust me. I have known him for so long. I'm sure he will-"

"Psht!", you hushed her as Nyx, Libertus and Pelna entered the Glaive's common room. You smiled at the boys, you even waved to greet them and Libertus and Pelna waved back - just Nyx seemed to hadn't noticed you at all. For some time, he seemed to be occupied with his own thoughts, sometimes even with a grumpy mood.

The boys were barely out of sight as you sighed dreamingly again with a fondly smile on your lips.

Crowe shook her head about you with a smile, "You're unbelievable."

***

No matter how much Nyx tried to ignore you and your infatuation about this mysterious other guy, about his almost 'divine appearance' as you had called it once, it wasn't that easy for him. Every time when you noticed him around, you stopped with your speech but not fast enough and so, Nyx heard more than he wanted about the way you thought about a man who wasn't him.

In fact, Nyx wanted to be this guy. He had no idea who this man was who was lucky enough to gain your attention in such a strong way but it was obvious that you didn't mean Nyx because nothing you ever said was suitable for him. He wasn't divine or perfect, rather quite the opposite.

So, as Niflheim started one of their random attacks on Insomnia, Nyx was kinda thankful for some distraction. To fight on the battlefield would give him time to sort his thoughts so he could focus back on the more important things.

The last thing Nyx had expected was that some things went more wrong than usual. Maybe he even became a bit too cocky for his own good as he tried to fight against several huge demons at the same time to burn off some steam. Yes, it had been reckless. Yes, Nyx knew it. And no, Nyx didn't regret it because it suited his mood just perfectly.

And for the first time since a very long time, Nyx got injured in a way that knocked him out from fighting and training for quite some time, which wasn't helpful for his mind and mood either. He was just glad that he didn't have to listen to your childish daydreaming anymore.

The injuries also allowed him to act in a bad mood, to be grumpy and to have an excuse why he didn't want to see anyone.

Therefore, as it knocked several times at his door, he was more than just annoyed that his friends were too stubborn to listen to him to leave him alone for a while.

"Nyx! I know you're there! Open the door!", you called out demandingly, banging against his door several times with your fist.

"What do you want?", Nyx hissed angrily as he opened the door finally. He just stepped aside as you stormed in before he closed his door to face you with a sullen expression.

Your eyes went big as you saw his appearance. Nyx had some scratches on his forehead, a cut on his lower lip, a long cut on his bare chest that got stitched, his rib cages were bandages thickly and many bruises were building around his hips and stomach. Slowly and shock filled, you moved your eyes back to meet his angry glance. With an open mouth, you gaped at him, simply speechless.

"Once again: WHAT do you want, YN?", Nyx asked more aggressively what caused him to wince in pain.

To see him like this awoke you from your state, "I... I wanted to... to...", you stammered, swallowed thickly.

"You wanted- what?", Nyx asked low, regretting his outburst seconds before because of the pain that was still shaking his body.

"Actually, I wanted to scream and yell at you for... For acting so reckless. Crowe told me what happened...", you whispered insecurely, still shocked about Nyx' wounds.

"Why?", Nyx asked annoyed.

"Why? You ask me why I would like to scream at you? You did stupid things on the battlefield!", you argued back, drawing your eyebrows together.

"Why do you even care about me, huh?", Nyx called out, stepping forward while ignoring the pain in his body, "Since when I am this important to you?"

"Wh-what? What do you mean?", you asked surprised, stepping back by the sight of his raging glance.

Nyx chuckled unamused, "Oh, don't act so innocently. I know about your little, silly crush on this guy!", he said and stepped forward, completely ignoring the fact how scared you looked as he came closer while you found no way to escape, "All these past weeks where you were swooning over the guy's 'incredible' eyes! And his 'perfect' lips! His 'oh so soft' hair! Oh, and don't forget his sexual masculinity!", he pointed out while stepping forward, mimicking your behavior in a mocking way.

Your eyes grew bigger with surprise and shock, "Y-you.. you have heard that?", you whispered.

Nyx grinned, enjoying your scared expression, "If I have heard you? Of course, I did! All your little base flatteries couldn't get overheard when you were talking with Crowe. I know, I'm nothing special. Obviously, not like him. I get reminded that a lot, trust me. So, I ask once again", he hissed angrily, stepping forward, caging you in a corner where you searched for a way out. Nyx was mad. About himself and the aggression he hadn't under control but he had caged his emotions far too long and now, they were bubbling to the surface. He was mad about you and your wonderful eyes, lips and face. And mostly, he was mad about the other guy who had stolen your heart. The one heart Nyx wanted to have for himself. And now, he had lost it before he even had a chance with you, "Why are you even caring for me when your interest is with someone else who isn't me?", he asked threateningly.

"N-Nyx, I- I-"

Nyx punched with his fist against a spot on the wall next to your head that let you flinch. Pain was punishing him immediately. But as he saw your scared expression, he knew he would deserve even more than just plain pain, "Spit it out, YN! Why do you care for me?"

"Because you are the guy!", you cried out scared, "You're the man I have a crush on!", you screamed helplessly before you slid down along the wall, crying out of shock because of the outburst of this usually so calm and composed man.

Utterly shocked, Nyx stepped back. He was panting for air but not because of the pain in his ribs. No physical pain would hurt him as much as the sight of your crouching frame on his floor was hurting him to see. His mind still tried to process what you just had said, what the meaning of the words were you had just used.

Slowly, you calmed down, wiping away the tears from your eyes with the sleeves of your sweatshirt while you took a few calming breaths. You leant against the wall with closed eyes, resting the back of your head against the cool concrete.

Minutes passed where none of you said anything and as you were calmer again, you chuckled dryly, still with closed eyes, "You know, Crowe always tried to convince me to talk with you. She said that you would be happy to hear my confession about the feelings I have for you. Because she knew you for so long, somehow, she was sure my feelings might be mutual.", you said, slowly opening your eyes to see his still shocked expression, "But I... I couldn't talk with you. I was too scared. Too scared you could reject me. Too scared that you could make fun of me. Too scared that you would laugh at me. Making jokes about me with the others. That I would get humiliated or that I could even lose one of my best friends.", you said followed by a soft chuckle, "But, god damn, I never expected you to scream at me like this. I- I never saw you this aggressive. I never thought you could ever hate me this much.", you breathed before you closed your eyes again.

Nyx awoke from his stasis by your words and closed slowly up on you, kneeling down with still some space left between you two to give you a way out from him if needed, "I- I don't hate you, YN. I could never hate you-"

"Tell that to the dent in your wall.", you said, pointing at a spot over your head where Nyx had hit the wall and where now a small hole was left.

Nyx didn't have to follow your hint to remember what he had done. His head hung low between his shoulders, "I'm sorry. Please, I... Fuck... I'm so sorry. I was so angry about the fact that you would like someone else instead of me that I couldn't think straight. All I ever wanted was a chance with you.", Nyx whispered.

As you opened your eyes by his words, you saw Nyx' slumped down figure right in front of you. He was so close, you just had to stretch out your hand to touch him and because it was what you still wanted, you did exactly that. You got on your knees, leaning forward to cup his face with both hands like something precious, "Shall we start this conversation again?"

Nyx raised his head to meet your eyes which were filled with more warmth than before. He swallowed and nodded insecurely, "W-why are you here?", he asked carefully.

You smiled softly, tilting your head, "Crowe told me what happened on the battlefield. She said you acted reckless and got injured. I... I had to see you."

Nyx crawled closer to you, ignoring his paining body once again, "You had to see me? Why?", hope was vibrating in his low voice.

"Because I care for you, Nyx. Maybe I care even more for you than you might think.", you said softly, leaning even closer.

"How much more?"

"Well, this much.", you whispered, leaning in to kiss him softly.

Nyx closed his eyes slowly, just enjoying your lips against his as you moved them. He moved along, deepening the kiss, pulling you closer with his hands on your back.

You broke the kiss very slowly for some air, resting your forehead against Nyx' with a content smile, "Why have you never said something?", you whispered.

Nyx shook his head, "I couldn't. You were always so glowing and happy when you were talking about this guy. The last thing I wanted was to... In fact, I just wanted to be the reason behind this breathtaking smile instead of someone else... But I also didn't want to take your glowing away."

"You never considered that you might be the reason behind my happiness, huh?", you asked softly.

"No… I had no idea that all the things you said were about me...", Nyx chuckled and winced in the next moment because of the pain that finally took back control of his body.

It was then that you got reminded of what Nyx had endured. Quickly, you stood up, helping him back on his feet and into the bed, "You should rest now.", you said softly and a bit guilt-ridden. Somehow, you were one reason behind his pain.

"Can you stay? I'm sure it will help me to recover.", Nyx asked with a smirk, grabbing your wrist as you were about to leave.

It was the smirk that always let your heartbeat quicken. You gnawed on your lower lip, "Okay, but just until you fell asleep.", you answered, crawling next to Nyx' side.

Nyx flung his arm around you, burying his nose into your hair, "Cute that you think I will let you go. At all.", he whispered, pressing a soft kiss on your ear before he pulled you closer to keep you secure in his arms before he fell into a soft sleep with you by his side like he always had dreamed of.

#nyx ulric x female reader #nyx #nyx ulric x gender neutral reader #nyx ulric x male reader #final fantasy nyx ulric #kingsglaive nyx #ff15 nyx ulric #nyx ulric x reader #nyx ulric #female reader #male reader #gender neutral fanfic #gender neutral reader

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fictionwordcounts · 3 years ago

Text

Stuck [Han x Solo]

Word Count: 3000+

Summary: You knew you were looking for trouble when you accepted Han’s request for a quick flight, but you couldn’t have imagined a worse scenario than being stuck in the middle of nowhere with him. Still, the time you spend with him, forced or not, just might lead to something.

You hurried with a search-and-rescue team toward Hangar Five after receiving an urgent message from Han Solo. Since Han had specifically requested for you, they allowed you to lead the team. When you reached the door to Hangar Five, you typed in the code, the door opened, and you ran inside to see Han cleaning the outside of his ship, the Millennium Falcon. He looked up from the spot he was shining and smiled.

"Chewie, come out here! Our help has arrived," he announced as he put his rag away. The search and rescue team shifted behind you and you heard murmurs of disapproval.

Lando, who had insisted that he come along, walked to the front. "What's this about? We don't have time for your shenanigans, Han," he said with overtones of disapproval.

Han walked up to the group and put his hands up defensively. "I wouldn't exactly call them shenanigans, Lando," he said. "More like creative ways to get the help I need."

From your spectator's position, you rolled your eyes. Han was always pulling stunts like this, and it annoyed you to death. However, occasionally, there was something about him made you want to laugh. Of course, you never did. You felt it was against your character. There was some unspoken promise to yourself that you would not encourage Han Solo.

"General Solo," you began.

Han rolled his eyes. "Please, none of that 'General' junk," he pleaded, shaking his head, and offering you a mischievous smile. He stopped and performed an exaggerated a bow. "The name's Han Solo... or just Han if you like."

You stared at him unimpressed. "Yes, we've met, Han," you reminded him through gritted teeth. "We're here because you sent us a message saying that you were in danger."

"Whoa, wait. Hold on. I never said I was in danger," he insisted, never losing his smile. You would've told him off right there in front of everyone, but Lando beat you to it.

"Han, what did you call us here for?" Lando repeated. By then, most of the rescue patrol had become fed up with Han. They'd all either left or stuck around to see who would hit him first.

"Look, I didn't ask for a whole search and rescue gig," Han replied. "I asked," He took the rag back out of his pocket and pointed it at you, "for Y/N." He walked back to his ship and started wiping down the same spot.

Lando and the rest of the team walked away, muttering under their breaths, and you were about to follow suit.

"Y/N!" You heard Han call you from behind. Nearly everything in you told you to just walk away; but, be it the tone in his voice or the desire for the satisfaction of slapping him across the face, something made you turn around.

You folded your arms over your chest. "Do you need something?" you asked, exasperated.

Han nodded as if it was obvious. "Come on," he instructed. You hesitantly walked up to the Falcon. You stood there for a while and watched Han shine the same spot over and over again.

"I'm pretty sure that spot is clean now," you pointed out in monotone.

He stared at you. "What are you doing standing there?" he questioned.

Your arms dropped to your sides. "You called me over here, Han," you would've laughed if you weren't so annoyed. "Did you call me here for anything at all? Or were you so busy drooling over the Falcon that you forgot?"

He laughed and your traitorous heart skipped a beat. You scolded yourself inwardly. You were supposed to hate him, but on rare occasions like these it seemed impossible. "Calm down," he instructed. He walked under the Falcon and started up the ramp. He stopped, turned around, and held out his hand. "I'll show you."

You sighed and pushed his hand away. "I know how to walk up a ramp." You walked ahead of Han and into the Falcon. He smiled and followed you in. You wandered around, Han following close behind. "You brought me in here to see this piece of junk?" you asked, only halfway joking.

"The Falcon is the fastest ship in the galaxy." Han bragged defensively. "That is if the hyperdrive is working... Chewie!" You heard a growling in the distance. "Waddya you mean it's not fixed yet?" Han repeated. He started to jog off to help Chewbacca but turned back to you. "Just don't touch anything," he ordered before going off to help Chewbacca.

You navigated the halls aimlessly until you found what looked like the control room. You ran a hand over the controls, disregarding Han's insisting that you not touch anything. Han irritated you endlessly, and there had to be a way to repay the favor. You knew how much Han loved the Falcon and it gave you an idea. You turned around and walked to Han, who was on his knees, bent over a bunch of wires.

"Hey, Han," you began, your plot fully formed in your mind.

He continued to stare down at the twisted wires with a vengeance, but he nodded in brief acknowledgement.

"I'm just going to try pushing a few buttons in the control room," you casually announced. "I hope that's ok."

"Yeah, uh-huh," he agreed absently.

You sucked in a breath to keep yourself from laughing. "Ok, thanks!" you managed.

"Gahhhhh!" Chewbacca warned Han. You put your finger to your lips to silence Chewie and ran off to the control room. The panicked Chewbacca remained by Han, trying to get his attention, eventually resorting to punching him in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for? I'm working on it!" Han said angrily.

"Grahhhh!" Chewbacca explained.

Han dropped the wires and jumped to his feet. "She what?" he yelled and ran after you. He burst into the control room and looked around anxiously. You had your back to the side of the door and watched him turn the seats around hoping to find you in one of them.

"The Falcon didn't ask for a whole search-and-rescue gig, Han," you said smirking.

He spun around and pointed the bizarrely-shaped tool he had in his hand at you. "You can't go pushing buttons on my ship whenever you feel like it," he practically screamed, his face turning beet red.

"Never fear, darling, I didn't press a button on your precious ship," you promised. "Though even if I did, I happen to recall that you said I could."

"I never said anything like that!" he insisted.

You were barely refraining from doubling over laughing, and Han could tell. His face returned to its normal color. "Oh, you think this is funny, huh?" he questioned.

At that moment, Chewbacca walked into the control room, announcing that the hyperdrive was fixed. Han smiled. "Buckle up, sweetheart," he instructed.

It took you a moment to process what was going on, but once you understood, you were thrown into a confusing mix of emotions. On one hand, you had no intention of allowing Han Solo—a reckless pilot and a scoundrel—to fly you anywhere in the Millennium Falcon—the oldest and junkiest ship in the galaxy. But on the other hand, you were intrigued and excited at the prospect of an adventure with Han Solo—a reckless pilot and a scoundrel. You decided to let curiosity kill the cat and burn bridges when you came to them. You took a seat and strapped yourself in. "Where are we going?" you inquired.

Han looked at you, turned to Chewbacca, and smiled. The ship lurched and the main door to Hanger Five opened. The Falcon headed through the opening and started flying surprisingly steadily.

You had always liked flying but you were sort of on edge about riding in the run down piece of scrap metal Han called a ship. You watched Han push buttons and flick switches with a cocky smirk all the while. Chewbacca leaned over to Han and grumbled something inaudible. Han whispered back while you strained to hear what they were saying. All you got was a snippet about malfunctioning and Han undoubtedly lying about it being ok.

"When you're ready, Chewie," Han allowed. There was a flash of light and suddenly you were in hyperspace. In your experience, hyperspace usually meant kicking back for some smooth sailing; but on this particular piece of garbage, it felt shaky and uncontrolled. You wondered how long it would be before the ship came to a stop. Light speed, of course, was supposed to be quick as a wink, but this seemed a lot longer than a wink.

A red light started to flash on the control panel in front of Han. The Falcon was definitely shaking uncontrollably now, and presumably not just because it was an old ship. There was a loud crashing noise and the Falcon stopped dead. Everything in the Falcon turned off suddenly and thankfully flickered back on.

You sat there gripping the seat tightly mouth agape. "You're dead," you announced with conviction. Han turned around to look at you, and then hopped out of his seat.

"Not yet, I'm not!" He yelled behind him as he ran toward the hyperdrive he was fixing earlier. You turned to Chewbacca who was ready to follow him.

"I'll have something to say about that," you muttered to him.

"Arghhhhh," Chewbacca snapped angrily. He brushed past you nervously, and you followed him.

"Well I have a reason to be angry at him!" you insisted. "First, he drags me into his ship without even telling me where he's going, then goes into hyperspace knowing the hyperdrive was malfunctioning, and now we're stranded in the middle of nowhe---" Chewbacca stopped abruptly causing you to run into him.

"Alright, no need to get worked up," you heard Han say.

You scoffed. "No need to get worked up? You didn't do anything about that hyperdrive, and now I'm paying the price!" you lamented. Han handed the tools off to Chewbacca, stood up, and brushed himself off.

"You think I wanted this to happen?" he asked.

"Considering how much trouble you get into, I'm beginning to wonder!" you hollered at him.

Behind Han, Chewbacca grunted. Han spun on his heel to glare at the Wookiee. "Whose side are you on, Fuzzball?" he questioned.

"Han, where were you even planning on taking me?" you asked through your teeth.

"Well I was going to take you to Corellia, but now I'm thinking about taking you to Hoth and leaving you there!" He brushed past you and sulked back into the control room.

You threw a pleading look at Chewbacca, but he just shrugged and got back to work. You offered to help, but Chewie didn't seem to want any—not from you anyway.

Having nothing else to do, you began to wander back to the control room. You told yourself over and over again that you weren't going there to see Han. Though, every time you told yourself that, it seemed less true.

You leaned against the frame of the door, watching as Han flicked switches in frustration. You began to suggest, "Have you tried contacting—"

"Yes!" He interrupted. "For some wonderful reason the com is down, and it looks like it's gonna be for a while."

"How long is a while?" you asked.

He turned to you ready to snap again, but after a moment of looking straight into your eyes, his face softened. He took a deep breath and silently walked back to Chewbacca. He whispered something you didn't catch. The Wookie growled softly, though you weren't very good at Shyriiwook, the Wookiee language, anyway.

Han turned back to you. "It shouldn't be that long, but we need to get the hyperdrive working," he explained.

"What's wrong with it?" you asked. Chewbacca made a noise that seemed to be a laugh. You looked at Han. He fidgeted and looked everywhere but your eyes. You realized that not only did Han have no idea what was wrong with the Falcon, but he was unprepared to fix it if he did. You glared at him.

"Settle down this will be over before you know it." He said.

"And if it isn't, I'm making a magic carpet out of Wookiee fur, and flying off of this junkyard."

You sat there for hours occasionally getting up to test communications. You figured that this must happen a lot in a ship like the Falcon. But the more you looked over at Han, the more clueless he seemed. It was hard to read expression on Chewbacca's face, but you could tell it wasn't any better on his end.

You got up once more to try to make contact with anyone at all. There was nothing but static. You went back to report to Han. Going back and forth between the cockpit, and where Chewie and Han worked was all you could really do. You didn't have any mechanical skills, so helping Han was out of the question. Han slammed his hand against the hyperdrive, making you jump.

"I can't fix it!" He yelled at no one. "This piece is entirely ruined!" You gave up any small hope you had that Han could get you out of this. Chewbacca growled in agreement. You planted your face in your hands and didn't want to look up until you were out of this mess.

You and Chewbacca spent a good portion of time playing Dejarik. The Wookiee wasn't very good, but Han explained he didn't like losing. You would rather let him win anyway. The game wasn't very entertaining, and it got tedious when Chewbacca kept challenging you round after round.

"Agghhhhrrgh" Chewie challenged once more. You noticed Han trying not to laugh out of the corner of your eye. You stood up and gestured to the seat.

"Your turn," you told him. Han leaned back in his chair.

"You're doing just fine," he said. "Maybe next time, if you don't use the lowest ranked character, you just might win." You walked over to him, pulled him out of his seat, and set him down in front of Chewie.

"Show me," you commanded. He obviously regretted commenting and reluctantly played Chewbacca. Though the game was boring to play, it was even worse watching it. The only thing that kept you looking was Han struggling to beat Chewie. Chewbacca had actually gotten better since you started playing him. That, unfortunately, only told you that you've been playing for far too long. You started walking in circles to get the blood flowing in your legs again. Han had lost the game and turned it off.

"You'll hurt your brain playing for too long." He told Chewie, who was growling in frustration. Han held up his hand for everyone to be quiet. There was a faint beeping noise off in the distance. You, Han, and Chewbacca started running towards the noise.

"Harrrghhh" Chewie said. You knew that had mentioned "hyperdrive", but you didn't understand the rest.

"I know, Chewie, but it shouldn't be." He picked up a pile of wires and studied them. Out of nowhere they sparked and Han jumped back. He noticed that the sparks had caught on to the withered hyperdrive manual Han had been reading. Han tried to quickly grab the papers but they set fire.

"Garrghhhhh!" Chewbacca howled.

"You didn't fix that?" Han shouted back. The Wookie shook his head. You grabbed Han's shoulder and turned him toward you.

"What didn't you fix?" You asked him. Han turned back toward the fire, started stomping it out.

"It wasn't my job to fix it!" Before the flames died away completely there was a loud noise. You figured it was some sort of smoke detector. Then immediately after the sound, water started pouring everywhere around you, Han, and poor Chewbacca.

You stood still as the cold water ran down your hair and onto your back making you shiver. This is why you didn't "hang out" with Han. Whenever you were around him, something had to go wrong. Han took one look at your face and started laughing. You turned to look at Han. He was being as childish as ever, something about that made you want to laugh. You trudged over to him and give him a push. He slipped and fell on his back. You and Chewbacca laughed until Han came to his senses. He stood up with a hilarious look of shock on his face.

"I guess I deserved that." He predicted. You nodded, and Chewbacca growled his agreement. "I wasn't asking you, you overgrown hairball." Chewie smiled causing Han to smile. The water had stopped now and you realized how soaked you were. You shivered and leaned over to Chewbacca

"How to you deal with him?" You playfully asked him. He shrugged in response.

"Come one, I'm a nice guy." Han said defensively. You and Chewbacca exchanged a glance, and the Wookiee went to dry off. You looked over at Han. He looked just as cold as you were. "Let's go see what we can salvage." He said walking toward the Dejarik table. There were a few papers on the table that were past saving. You gathered them up in shreds and threw them away. When you came back, Han was fussing over a control board.

"It still works right?" You asked Han. He turned to you.

"It should still work, but if Chewie had just fixed the sprinklers then I wouldn't have to worry about it at all." He said grudgingly.

"I don't get what was wrong with it," you said. "There was smoke and the smoke detector found out."

Han walked toward you, and turned around to see the water everywhere. "It's supposed to know where the fire is exactly and only spray there, but it malfunctioned a while ago." He clarified. "Come on. Let's go check the other rooms." You nodded and turned to go right when Han turned to go left. You ran into each other and almost fell over. Han recovered first and grabbed your hand. When he pulled you up you weren't expecting it and you ran into him again. This time he held on to you. You stared at him for a while captivated by his brown eyes. You looked down and backed up.

"Sorry." You said fidgeting. You didn't want to look up because you knew that no matter how hard you tried not to, you were falling for Han. He was the galaxy's biggest pain in the neck but there was the way he went about it that you thought about. He was confident in his decisions- including the stupid ones-. No, that didn't make him any less annoying either, but it helped. You had misjudged him, and ignored him. He still was not great at the responsibility thing though.

"How about I go right?" he decided. You agreed and walked away smiling. You couldn't seem to get Han out of your mind. You cleaned up anything that was spoiled then met Han back in the cockpit. It was quiet except for the controls beeping every now and again. You were tired from all the stress so you sat down on the ground. Han chose to join you when he had dried most everything off.

"What a day," you sighed.

"No kidding," Han replied. "I'll never get this place dry again."

You looked at him and for once you didn't mind if you were there forever. He started leaning toward you. Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your noses were touching when you heard static from the controls. You both jerked away from each other to better focus on the incoming transmission. It cleared up and you recognized Lando's voice.

"It's about time!" Han said standing up, then helped you to your feet. Chewbacca walked in the room with matted, slightly dry, fur. You had forgotten that he was there on the Flacon with you.

"Are you ok? You tried to contact us," Lando said.

Han rolled his eyes. "Our communications were down. I think I got half a message through before it went out though," He guessed.

Lando confirmed that had happened and sent the search-and-rescue team for a real rescue this time. After Han was done telling Lando all the necessary details, Chewbacca gave us both towels to dry off on.

"That was perfect timing." You joked.

"Lando's good like that." He said. He bent down and kissed you ignoring the questioning growls from Chewie. His lips were still cold from the water but you didn't object. It seemed impossible that this would have happened. But then again, Han had never really understood impossible.

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friendlyneighborhoodpsyop · 4 years ago

Text

Quotes about Kaz Brekker:

Every act of violence was deliberate, and every favor came with enough strings attached to stage a puppy show.

The boy called Dirtyhands didn’t need a reason any more than he needed permission.

He was a collection of hard lines and tailored edges.

“Who’d deny a poor cripple his cane?” “If the cripple is you, then any man with sense.”

“I’m a business man,” he’d told her. “No more, no less.” “You’re a thief, Kaz.” “Isn’t that what I just said?”

“I’m not here for a taste. You want a war, I’ll make sure you eat your fill.”

The boy he’d been talking to had been cocky, reckless, easily amused, but not frightening—not really. Now the monster was here, dead-eyed and unafraid. Kaz Brekker was gone, and Dirtyhands had come to see the rough work done.

“You’ll get what’s coming to you one day, Brekker.” “I will,” said Kaz, “if there’s any justice in the world. And we all know how likely that is.”

“Well I’m the kind of bastard they only manufacture in the Barrel.”

Inej was always trying to wring little bits of decency from him. “When everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.”

“Greed is your god, Kaz.” He almost laughed at that. “No, Inej. Greed bows to me. It is my servant and my lever.” “And what god do you serve, then?” “Whichever will grant me good fortune.”

“What’s the difference wagering at the Crow Club and speculating on the floor of the Exchange?” “One is theft and the other is commerce.” “When a man loses his money, he may have trouble telling them apart.”

“You’re a blackmailer—“. “I broker information.” “A con artist—“. “I create opportunity.” “A bawd and a murderer—“. “I don’t run whores, and I kill for a cause.”

“You see, every man is a safe, a vault of secrets and longings. Now, there are those that take the brute’s way, but I prefer a gentler approach—the right pressure applied at the right moment, in the right place. It’s a delicate thing.”

“I’m sure you’ve heard the stories.” “Each more grotesque than the last.” Brekker’s hands were stained with blood. Brekker’s hands were covered in scars. Brekker had claws and not fingers because he was part demon. Brekker’s touch burned like brimstone—a single brush of bare skin caused your flesh to whither and die. “Pick one. They’re all true enough.”

Kaz was not a giddy boy smiling and making plans for a future with her. He was a dangerous player who was always working an angle.

“Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won’t you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?”

Brick by brick. It was a promise that let him sleep at night, the drove him everyday, that kept Jordie’s ghost at bay.

Kaz’s servant, greed, luring them South like a piper with a flute in hand.

“Being angry at Kaz for being ruthless is like being angry at a stove for being hot. You know what he is.”

“I wouldn’t trust you to tie my shoes without stealing the laces.”

Matthias knew monsters, and one glance at Kaz had told him this was a creature who had spent too long in the dark—he’d brought something back with him when he’d crawled into the light.

“The easiest way to steal a man’s wallet is to tell him you’re going to steal his watch. You take his attention and direct it where you want it to go.”

“You can’t spend his money if you’re dead.” “I’ll acquire expensive habits in the afterlife.”

“I don’t want to die.” “I’ll do my best to make other arrangements for you.”

“You came back for me.” “I protect my investments.” Investments. “I’m glad I’m bleeding all over your shirt.”

Matthias suspected that Brekker would drag the girl back from hell himself if he had to.

He’d gifted her her first blade, the one she called Sankt Petyr—not as pretty as wild geraniums, but more practical.

“Kaz told me...he said it was my choice, that he wouldn’t be the one to mark me again.”

Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to your for two days.

He needed to know she believed in him.

“What to do you want, then?” The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie’s voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Inej. You.

Kaz would always remember that moment, when he’d seen greed take hold of his brother, an invisible hand guiding him forward, the lever at work.

There could be no judgement from a boy known as Dirtyhands.

“Let’s say the mark is a tourist walking through the barrel. He’s heard it’s a good place to get rolled, so he keeps patting his wallet, making sure it’s there, congratulating himself on just how alert and cautious he’s being. No fool he. Of course every time he pats his back pocket or front of his coat, what’s he doing? He’s telling every thief on the Stave exactly where he keeps his scrub.”

It was because she was listening so closely that she knew the exact moment when Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the bastard of the barrel and the deadliest boy in Ketterdam, fainted.

He’d heard there were sharks in these waters but they wouldn’t touch him. He was a monster now, too.

He’d imagined his death a thousand ways, but never sleeping through it.

It was as if once Kaz had seen her, he’d understood how to keep seeing her.

“If it were a trick, I’d promise you safety. I’d offer you happiness. I don’t know if that exists in the barrel, but you’ll find none of it with me.” Better terrible truths than kind lies.

He knew he was being reckless, selfish, but wasn’t that why they called him Dirtyhands? No job too risky. No deed too low. Dirtyhands would see the rough work done.

A good magician wasn’t much different than a proper thief.

She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.

“Some people see a magic trick and say, ��Impossible!’ They clap their hands, turn over their money, and forget about it ten minutes later. Other people ask how it worked. They go home, get into bed, toss and turn, wondering how it was done. It takes them a good nights sleep to forget all about it. And then there are the ones who stay awake, running through the trick again and again, looking for the skip in perception, the crack in the illusion that will explain how their eyes got duped; they’re the kind who won’t rest until they’ve mastered that little bit of mystery for themselves. I’m that kind”

“You love trickery.” “I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue.”

“Do you know the secret to gambling, Helvar? Cheat.”

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not been healed wrong. There was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

Her eyes were shut, her oil-black lashes fanned over her cheeks. The harbor wind had lifted her dark hair, and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in the world. She’d laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

You’ve cheated death too many times. Greed may do your bidding, but death serves no man.

He needed to tell her...what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her.

“Saints, Kaz, you actually look happy.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. But there was no mistaking it. Kaz Brekker was grinning like an idiot.

“I can hear the change in Kaz’s breathing whenever he looks at you.” “You...you can?” “It catches every time, like he’s never seen you before.”

“How will you have me? Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch? I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

“I’m not big on bluffing, am I, Inej?” “Not as a rule.” “And why is that?” “Because he’d rather cheat.”

Inej wanted Kaz to become someone else, a better person, a gentler thief. But that boy had no place here. That boy ended up starving in an alley. He ended up dead. That boy couldn’t get her back. I’m going to get my money, and I’m going to get my girl.

“A proper thief is like a proper poison. He leaves no trace.”

There were no good men in Ketterdam, Kaz said. The climate didn’t agree with them.

“If you don’t care about money, Nina dear, call it by it’s other names.” “Kruge? Scrub? Kaz’s one true love?” “Freedom, security, retribution.”

“It’s pragmatic. If I were cruel, I’d give him a eulogy instead of a conversation.”

“You haven’t been alive long enough to rack up your share of sin.” “I’m a quick study.”

Patience, he reminded himself. He’d practiced it early and often. Patience would bring all his enemies to their knees in time.

“You’ve got the devil’s own blood in you, boy.”

Kaz was going to have to find a new language of suffering to teach that smug merch son of a bitch.

“I would come for you. And if I couldn’t walk, I’d crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we’d fight our way out together—knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that’s what we do. We never stop fighting.”

“My mother is Ketterdam. She birthed me in the harbor. My father is profit. I honor him daily.”

Desperate for some sign that he might open himself to her, that they could be more than two creatures united by their distrust of the world.

They could continue on with their armor intact. She would have her ship and he would have his city.

Sure, a lock was like a woman. It was also like a man and anyone or anything else—if you wanted to understand it, you had to take it apart and see how it worked. If you wanted to master it, you had to learn it so well you could put it back together.

He always liked returning to a home or business he’d had cause to visit before. It wasn’t just the familiarity. It was as if by returning, he laid claim to a place. We know each other’s secrets, the house seemed to say. Welcome back.

“When people see a cripple walking down the street, leaning on his cane, what do they feel? They feel pity. Now, what do they think when they see me coming?” “They think they’d better cross the street.”

“We can endure a lot of pain. It’s shame that eats men whole.”

“I don’t hold a grudge. I cradle it. I coddle it. I feed it fine cuts of meat and send it to the best schools. I nurture my grudges, Rollins.”

It was as if Kaz had a secret map of Ketterdam that showed the city’s forgotten spaces.

“I’ve taken knives, bullets, and too many punches to count, all for a little piece of this town. This is the city I bled for. And if Ketterdam has taught me anything, it’s that you can always bleed a little more.”

Was Johannus Rietveld meant to be his Jakob Hertzoon? Or had it been some way of resurrecting the family he’d lost? Did it even matter?

“I wreak all the havoc I can until my luck runs out, use our haul to build an empire.” “And after that?” “Who knows? Maybe I’ll burn it to the ground.”

Tell her to get out, a voice inside him demanded. Beg her to stay.

Kaz thought he knew the language of pain intimately, but this ache was new. It hurt to stand here like this, so close to the circle of her arms.

“These things don’t wash away with prayer, Wraith. There is no peace waiting for me, no forgiveness, not in this life, not in the next.”

Two of the deadliest people the barrel had to offer and they could barely touch each other without both keeling over.

A black glass boy of deadly edges.

A bit of entertainment, the dramatic end of Kaz Brekker, the humbling of Dirtyhands. But this was no cheap comedy. It was a bloody rite, and Per Haskell had let the congregation gather, never realizing the real performance had yet to begin. Kaz stood upon his pulpit, wounded, bruised, and ready to preach.

“You have two minutes to get out of my house, old man. This city’s price is blood, and I’m happy to pay with yours.”

“What is wrong with him,” Nina grumbled. “Same thing that’s always wrong with him. He’s Kaz Brekker.”

“Rich men want to believe they deserve every penny they’ve got, so they forget what they owe to chance. Smart men are always looking for loopholes. They want an opportunity to game the system. The toughest mark is an honest man. Thankfully, they’re always in short supply.”

“Well, Brekker, it’s obvious you only deal in half truths and outright lies, so you’re clearly the man for the job.”

“What do you think my forgiveness looks like, Jordie?” “Who’s Jordie?” “Someone I trusted. Someone I didn’t want to lose.”

He put his gloves back on and didn’t take them off. He became twice as ruthless, fought twice as hard. He stopped worrying about seeming normal, let people see a glimmer of the madness within him and let them guess at the rest.

The rage inside him burned on and he learned to despise people who complained, who begged, who claimed they’d suffered. Let me teach you what pain looks like, he would say, and then he’d paint a picture with his fists.

That was what destroyed you in the end: the longing for something you could never have.

“I will kill you, Brekker. I will kill everything you love.” “The trick is not to love anything.”

“Suffering is like anything else. Live with it long enough, you learn to like the taste.”

She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. It’s a smile he thought he might die to earn again.

“He doesn’t say goodbye. He just lets go.”

“Ketterdam is made of monsters. I just happen to have the longest teeth.”

#soc #kaz brekker #quotes

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jawritter · 5 years ago

Text

I Did It Because I Love You

**Warning** Angst, Dean is an asshole. Some language, unrequited/requited feelings. Injured Raeder. Brief description of injury and SPN level violence. Angry reader. Fluff. I think that’s it.

A/N: Cross-posted on Wattpad! Please don’t copy my stuff!! As always feedback is gold!! All mistakes are mine! Hope you enjoy it! If you would like to be added to my tag list let me know!!

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader.

Word Count: 2689

Want more? Check out my Masterlist.

************MASTERLIST*************

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It had been a long hunt. You were tired, the boys were tired, everyone was in a grumpy mood. So you sat quietly in the back seat of Baby, knowing better than to open your mouth right now. It wasn't wise to test Dean when he was in a good mood, but when he was tired and annoyed; that was downright stupid.

You could feel his eyes on you occasionally in the rearview mirror. You refused to meet his gaze. Looking out the window, watching the Texas countryside fly by. It was all you could do to make it through this hunt, his comments and constant belittling of you didn't help your state of mind either. You were unfortunately stuck with the Winchesters right now, so you just decided the only way to deal with Dean and his constant ability to be an absolute asshole was just avoid, and ignore him as much as possible.

Two days ago you stopped talking to him completely, and barely even acknowledge him when he gave instructions on hunts. It was literally driving him insane, and you knew it, but you just didn't have the fight in you anymore it took to stand toe to toe with him.

Your mind wandered back to the last fight you had with him the day before you left to go on this hunt with him.

--------------------------------------------

"I know you don't think you're actually going on this hunt, " Dean said, as you descended the stairs into the bunker with your duffle bag over your shoulder.

"Your brother called, said he needed some help with a vamp nest you boys were about to take down in Southeast Texas, asked me to tag along because I was in the area, is that a problem for you Dean?" you asked the eldest Winchester, stopping at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes, it is a problem. I don't know why my brother thought we needed you of all people to help take down a simple vamp nest, but we're gonna handle this just fine without you. So you can see yourself out." he said, closing the distance between the two of you, towering over you, trying to use his sheer height advantage to make himself look threatening.

"You need to crawl your little ass back in your car, and find someone else to leech off of sweetheart, we don't need you. Every hunt we have to do with you, I have to step in and save your ass. If I wanted another liability on a hunt, I would have called the Ghostfacers."

You wanted more than anything to knock that cocky smirk right off his face, but you knew Sam would lose his shit if you hit his brother.

"Fuck you, Winchester. I can carry my own damn self. I don't need you to save me, I'm not some damsel in distress..."

Dean jumped in before you could even finish your sentence, almost chest to chest with you now.

"Listen to me bitch, you are a piss poor excuse for a hunter, your reckless, and stupid. You don't think three feet ahead of yourself, and if you had any fucking sense, which you obviously don't, you would walk out that door right now, and go wait tables or some shit, because that's all your really qualified to do."

That stung. You'd been hunting since you were Dean's age, even though he was 10 years older than you. You both got thrown into the life the same way, you both were just kids when your mother's died. Your sister wasn't as lucky as Sammy though.

You opened your mouth to say something, but Dean stepped back and walked off before you could respond.

---------------------------------------

The insults and constant criticism of everything you did from then on got worse and worse as the days passed, and you all worked on the hunt. The vamps nest was bigger than you all had thought, and when you all snuck in during the day, to take them out "easy" according to Dean, while they were sleeping. They weren't in fact "sleeping", but very much awake, and it took all of you everything you had in you to take them all down.

Two of them had you back into a corner, and if it wasn't for Dean, you'd either be dead or in transition right now. It wasn't your fault it happened though, you three had thought you had wiped out the whole nest, and you were walking out behind the boys when two vamps grabbed you and tried to drag you back into the house. Dean and his cat-like reflexes cut both their heads off, but not before they had pulled you down by your hair, and drug you a few feet across the dirty cabin floor, leaving a nasty gash on the back of your leg.

Dean tried to check it before you climbed into Baby, but you refused to look at him or let him touch you. You tie your flannel around your leg tightly to stop the bleeding until you could get to the motel to stitch yourself up, and slammed the car door in his face instead of letting him do anything.

Sam said nothing, just watched the exchange. He had not been thrilled with the way his brother had been treating you this week. Making you sleep on the couch, refusing to share a bed with you while knowing Sam was way too tall to share that little full-sized bed with. Everything that came out of his mouth to you for the past three days was an insult. Even though you just took it, and didn't even speak to him Dean never let up. Sam figured he deserved it, and just smirked getting into the car.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Dean pulled into the parking lot of the rundown dump you were staying at. Getting out of the car you limped toward the front of the hotel where the lobby was located.

"Y/N! What are you doing? Come on let us stitch that up!" Dean yelled after you, but you refused to respond, just kept limping toward the front of the hotel, cursing the guy for putting your room all the way in the back of the hotel when you checked in with the boys.

You could hear Dean coming up behind you, he tried to grab your arm, and you turned on your heels. Before you can control your own actions, anger and hurt won out, and you slapped him hard in the face as you could with your thrown off balance. It was still hard enough to make him stumble backward, which you made a mental note to smirk about later. Right now you were too angry.

Dean looked at you with his hand on the side of his face like a deer caught in the headlights. Which was very funny coming from a big, strong, manly hunter; but you didn't have the strength to laugh right now.

You just turned around and started your trip back to the front of the hotel. This time it was Sam running up behind you. Grabbing you by the shoulders, and turning you around to face him. He was smart enough to keep a hold on you though so you couldn't slap him. You could see Dean standing at the same stop, still looking stunned and holding his face.

"Y/N, where are going?" he said, a look of concern on his face.

"To get my own room. I've had enough of Dean and his shit, I want to put some distance between me and your brother before I kill him in his sleep, Sam."

Sam pulled you into a tight hug, and you felt tears falling down your face that you had held at bay the whole ride back to the hotel. After a few minutes he let you go, Dean still stood at a safe distance watching the two of you.

"Wait here, and I'll go get you a room. Then I'll come and stitch your leg up."

You nodded, not saying anything, wiping your face, and hoping Dean hadn't seen you cry because you knew he'd have something mean to say to you about it.

You hobbled your way over to the bench that wasn't far from where you were standing and sat down to wait for Sam to come back with your room key. When you looked up though it wasn't Sam, but Dean standing over you.

"Y/n... I..."

"Get away from her Dean, she's had enough of you, and I don't blame her," Sam said, coming to your rescue. Helping you get to your feet and he leads you to your room away from Dean.

------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later your leg had been stitched and bandaged, thanks to Sam, and you had showered and gotten into your favorite oversized T-shirt and boy shorts. Not bothering to put sleeping pants on because the boys were staying in another room down the breezeway from you, and were there alone. Plus it hurt to have too much rub against your injured leg.

You were almost dozing off when you heard a knock on your door. Thinking it was Sam bringing you food that he'd promised he'd bring to you, you just yelled "It's open," not bothering to get up to look at who it was.

The door opened slowly, and Dean stuck his head in your room. You rolled over on your side away from the door as he entered and closed the door slowly behind him. A bag of food in one hand, and a bag from what looked like the drug store in the other.

"Hey," he said timidly, placing the stuff on your nightstand in front of you. Childishly, but you were to weak and tired to run with an injury, you rolled over on your other side. Trying to not look at him, and refusing to answer him.

"Y/N, Please... You need to eat, and I brought you something for pain. I know that's gotta hurt."

You laid there facing the wall, not saying anything, and still refusing to look at the handsome hunter. Even though you were hurt deeply, even though you were angrier than you'd ever been in your life, your heart still skips a beat when those beautiful green eyes meet yours.

Right now though, you hate it, you want to be mad. You have every right to be angry. Dean had been nothing but nasty to you the whole time you were on this hunt with the Winchesters from the point that you walked into the bunker. He'd repeatedly ripped your heart out and stomped on it. Now, even though he's devastatingly handsome, even though you have spent nights when you weren't even with the Winchesters dreaming of just laying next to him, your trust was broken along with your heart, and you didn't even know if you were able to forgive him.

"Listen, I know you're angry with me, you have every right to be... I've been a horrible dick to you ever since you stepped foot in the bunker. That was wrong.. I'm an idiot. I was hoping that if I discouraged you from coming with us you wouldn't be put in harm's way. I didn't want to see you hurt, and I thought I was protecting you."

You felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat down on the bed next to you, and his hand came down on your shoulder, which you instinctively pulled away from. You couldn't see him, but you could have sworn you felt him flinch.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I don't know what to do to make what I did better. I don't know how to take it all back. If I did I would. You have every right to be mad at me. Please understand that I did it because I'm in love with you, I thought if you stayed away then you wouldn't be hurt like you are right now. When that fucking thing grabbed you it was like looking at my worse nightmare. I can't stand the thought of having to burn your body sweetheart."

You could feel the tears falling down our face now. You couldn't understand what you were hearing. The Dean Winchester just said he loved you... That's impossible... You must have hit your head harder than you thought, and you were hallucinating... But his hand on your shoulder just now felt very real, his bodyweight next to you, sitting on the bed. That was very real...

Turning to face him slowly you saw he looked horrible. He was paler than usual. He looked completely exhausted. You couldn't make your voice work. All those hateful things he'd said to you still ringing in your head. No matter what he was saying, or how tired he looked.

"I'm not expecting you to forgive me right now, fuck I'll be lucky if you ever forgive me at all, but I'm not going anywhere, Sweetheart. I'm going to stay here and make sure your taken care of. I came so fucking close to losing you today. Our lives are short. We probably will never live to see 60. I only probably got 10 years left if I'm lucky."

You laid there staring at his hand on yours. You didn't pull away this time. When you looked up at him again to your surprise he had real tears falling down his God-like face. It made your heart seize up in your chest in spite of you.

"Please Y/N, say something. I can't take the silence anymore. "

You knew he was telling the truth. The silence was getting pretty cruel at this point.

"I don't know what to say to you, Dean. You really, really hurt me."

You hated how weak your voice sounded. You were a hunter. Right now though you felt like a child.

He sat there with his head down. He looked tired and defeated, just like you felt.

After a few minutes, he got up and nodded his head. Looking like he'd had his heart ripped out and stomped on himself. Heading for the door with his head down.

"Where are you going?" you ask before you could stop yourself.

"You don't want me here," he said, not turning around, talking to his feet. "You got your own room because I've been such an ass, and you wanted to get away from me... I made you hate me."

Sitting up you looked at the man that was so strong he carried everyone, the man that never showed weakness, he looked so weak right now., so done. It made you realize even though he was always trying to carry everyone else's problems, no one ever tried to help him carry his.

Maybe he was wasn't lying just to make you feel better, maybe he was telling the truth.

"Stay," you half-whispered, but he heard you, turning slowly to look at you.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Dean, stay..."

He had a lot of making up to do, but maybe it was best to start at the beginning. Relationships are a give and take thing. If one of you doesn't give this was never going to work. He just gave. That couldn't have been easy for him. If you were going to not lose this chance you where going to have to take his apology.

Dean came back over to the bed cautiously. Sitting down on the edge before you pulled the covers up, signaling him to slip underneath with you. Which he did slowly.

"You know it's going to take me a very long time to fully forgive you, Dean," you tell him as you snuggle into his side. His strong arms wrapping around you immediately, pulling you into him.

"I know, I'm so, so, so sorry."

Putting your hand over his chest where you could feel his heart beating you take a deep breath. Breathing in a scent that was uniquely Dean. Gunpowder, whiskey, and his cologne.

Things weren't going to be easy for the two of you, but you had to start somewhere, and here in his arms felt like a pretty good place.

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Tag List:

@deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0

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smol-and-grumpy · 5 years ago

Text

Something Just Like This - CH34

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester, mobster boss. He’s a little cocky, a lot ruthless and more often than not, short tempered. But he’s also, Dean Winchester, a war veteran and hero who suffers under a shit ton of PTS. He met her in a bar and thinks it’s fate that brought her to him. Little does he know why she’s really here.

Warnings: There’s so much angst in this I’m still sorry.

WC: 4685

SERIES MASTERLIST

..A YEAR LATER

“A Lambo, Cas? Really?” Dean’s laughing as Cas shows him his newest buy. “I didn’t give you so much money to waste it on a Lamborghini!”

“Thank you! That’s what I was thinking too!” Anna chimes in, “We almost had a fight when he came home with that...thing!” Anna gestures at the car in their driveway.

Dean’s invited for dinner at Anna and Cas. Right after Y/N left, Cas stayed behind for a bit because he was worried about Dean. It was hard to get out of the funk but Dean also mainly did it for Cas. He didn’t want his friend to be worried about him. Anna and Cas have moved out of the city, pursuing the happiness Dean still chases.

And now he’s here because Cas wants to go through the details of his wedding which will take place in two months and Dean is his best man. Dean couldn’t be happier, really. If anyone deserves a fairy tale ending, it’s definitely Cas.

“Yeah, I know now that it’s a bad choice.” Cas calls out as Anna’s already making her way back inside to set up the table. He rolls his eyes when Anna doesn’t see but Anna shouts back, “Stop rolling your eyes!”

Cas then turns to Dean, “What do you really think of it?”

“I don’t know, Cas,” Dean says, takes a sip from the beer, “It seems over the top. I don’t think your dick is small enough to drive such a car.”

“Yeah, and now that Anna’s pregnant we should maybe get a family van.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you heard me.” Cas chuckles.

“Wow,” Dean huffs out, “Congratulations, man!”

“Thanks. I’m terrified, though.” Cas says, half smiling.

Dean has to laugh at Cas’ expression. “I can imagine.”

“And you? How are you?”

Not a question Dean likes to answer but he does because it’s Cas, “Good,” He says and takes another sip, “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Good.” Cas nods, but doesn’t say more and Dean appreciates that. “Come on, let's go eat.”

When they reach dessert, Dean’s phone vibrates but he doesn't want to be rude and pick it up until Anna asks him if he doesn’t want to take it.

Dean fishes his phone out of his pants and looks at the caller ID. It’s a number he doesn’t recognize. He looks at Cas and Anna and nods, stands up to take it in the hall.

“Hello?”

After that, everything’s a blur. He feels nauseous and all he can answer is “Yes, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He goes back into the dining room, his hands are shaking and he breaks cold sweat on his forehead.

He doesn’t even know what to do so all he does is stand there, his hands on the back of a chair, holding it real tight because if he doesn’t, he thinks he’ll fall.

“Dean, is everything okay?” Cas asks.

“Yeah, you’re a little pale.” Anna adds.

“Huh?” Dean grips at the chair, his knuckles are turning white. “Yeah.” Dean says but then he looks around, not sure what to do or say.

“Dean.” Cas stands up, is about to walk over to Dean.

“Y/N’s in the hospital Cas. Car accident.”

“What?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Dean tries to smile, it doesn’t work.

“Will you go? Is she here in this County?”

“I-I...I don’t know. And no, it’s two hours from here. She’s still in surgery. They found my name as her ICE contact on her phone. Could just be that she forgot to change it.”

“You should go.” Cas lays a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“And tell her what?”

“Well, if you wait too long, chance is you might not be able to tell her anything at all.” Cas says and fishes a key out from his pants pocket. “Take the Lambo, it’s faster than your Baby.”

Dean chuckles, “Fuck off.”

“Now get out of my house, Winchester!”

“Why did you leave?” Dean mumbles to himself as he goes through what he wants to say to her. There’s also, “What are you doing now?”, “Are you happy?”, “Why did you think running away was your only option?”, “Did you think I would have killed you?” and also there’s “Did you really love me as much as I loved you?”

He parks in the parking lot and runs in, almost knocking someone over. Dean gives his name at the reception and to his surprise, he was given the room number without further questions.

Dean takes the elevator, his heart’s thumping super fast in his chest.

The door to her room is open, there’s a nurse and a doctor helping her settle in. Dean feels a strong sense of deja-vu.

“Mr. Winchester?” The doctor approaches him when he sees Dean.

“Yes,” Dean manages to say even though his throat feels dry.

“The surgery went well. She suffers from a trimalleolar fracture on her left side, meaning her ankle is fractured in three different places. There’s dislocating of her shoulder and some bruises.”

“How long does she have to stay?” Dean asks.

“When she’s awake again by tomorrow and wishes to go home, she can. They will need to check her before she goes and the police will need a statement.”

“Okay, good,” Dean says, he still doesn’t look at her, “Because she hates hospitals.” Dean adds.

“That’s understandable.” The doctor says and walks out of the room, leaving Dean behind.

And there’s really no going back now, he’s here and he has to face her.

Slowly, he walks over to her bed, there’s a drip going into her hand and her leg is elevated. A bandage around her arm, another bigger band aid on her forehead.

“Shit,” Dean curses, and he gets angry, feels like punching something, but he’s not angry at her, never at her. Right now, he’s mostly angry at the guy who drove into her.

For the first time in over a year, Dean lets his fingertip skim over her face, tucks in a strand of hair. She looks the same as she always does and that makes him angry too. She hasn’t changed and he was still not able to find her.

He makes himself sit down in the chair, takes her hand and squeezes it before he places a kiss on her knuckles. He lets go, sniffs once, pinches the bridge of his nose, tries not to cry.

Dean leans forward, rests his forehead on her arm, feels the warmth of her skin. “Baby,” he whispers and he closes his eyes.

The next day Dean’s back at the hospital as soon as visitor hours open.

She didn’t wake up before the hours were over yesterday so he had to go home. She’s awake now, sitting on her bed, head propped up on the pillows, staring into nothingness.

Dean stops before he goes in, lingers at the door. His heart is beating stupidly fast.

Y/N tilts her head, flinches quickly before her gaze settles on him. “Dean?”

He exhales, feels like he’s been holding his breath since last night. “Yeah, it’s me.”

“How? Why?”

“I’m apparently your emergency contact.” He walks closer, sits down on the chair he’s been in last night.

“Oh, no.” She closes her eyes and clasps her hands over her face. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“Too late now.” Dean shrugs, doesn’t mean for it to come out as snappishly as it does.

“Look, I’m okay.” Y/N says and adds, “There’s no need for you to be here. I can manage.”

“Can you?” He raises an eyebrow at her and his gaze falls on her broken ankle. “Go on, call someone else to come take care of you and I’ll leave you alone.”

He watches her purse her lips, watches her nibbling at her bottom lip and then she pouts and it’s not fair. It’s ridiculous how much he’d missed that fucking pout.

She lets out a frustrating groan, and slams her good fist without tubes hanging out of it on the bed.

Dean looks at her, amusement in his eyes. “I thought so.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, but let’s not talk about it. Let’s get you out of here first.”

“No,” She says, “I’m sorry they made you come out here. You must have more important things than being here.”

“That’s my problem, and not yours.”

“But,” She pauses before she adds, “thank you.”

Dean just nods and takes out his phone, thumbs through it and he doesn’t really know what he’s looking at but he knows that if he doesn’t occupy himself, he’s going to have to hug and kiss her because that’s all he really wants to do, and that’s not going to happen. Not now.

“Don’t you,” She starts then stops and Dean looks up, sees the flush in her face and then she starts to speak again, “Don’t you have more important things to do than being here?”

Dean purses his lips, it’s not quite a smile but also not a sulk. “Would I be here if I had anything else to do?”

She stares at him, her forehead creases but then a police officer stands in the door.

He listens as she tells the policeman what happened (she left work at the library — so she works! In a freaking library too! The one place he doesn’t think to look!), a white truck drove right into her at an intersection (Dean’s still fucking angry at that driver — He can still make it look like an accident. But then he thinks, without the reckless driver, he probably would have never seen her again). The policeman took down her data, her address (a fucking two hours drive from his place!) and then he leaves and Dean is pissed. Not at her. Never at her. At his own futile attempt on tracking her down and at the guy who broke her fucking ankle.

They didn’t have time to talk because her next check up is around the corner. They wheeled her out and he waits until she’s back and then they wait together in silence until she gets the all clear from the doctor.

She’s discharged with a shit ton of painkillers and needs to be back for a check up in six weeks.

“Shit,” She mumbles.

“What?”

“I don’t have any clothes.”

Dean grins, “I got you.” He takes the bag he had with him which she didn’t even notice. Pulls out a shirt and her pj pants she left behind.

Y/N looks at the shirt. It’s another Led Zeppelin shirt from him, not the one that she used to wear.

“I couldn’t find the other shirt.” Dean says as he notices her staring a little too long at the shirt he brought.

“Because I took it with me.”

“Ah.”

Dean lets her change, turns around and looks out of the window. If she wants him out, she doesn’t say, accepts the little privacy he gives her.

“Done.” She says and he turns around, swallows hard because it’s a sight he never thought he’d see again.

She gets a crutch and it takes them an eternity to reach the car, and in hindsight, he could have let her wait and walk to get the car and pick her up at the entrance but his brain is not really capable of thinking right now.

He pushes a button and the car lights up.

Suddenly, she starts to laugh out loud.

“What?” Dean asks, trying not to laugh with her at the sound that makes his heart skip a beat.

“A Lamborghini? Seriously?”

“It’s Cas’ car. I was at his place when I got the call and he gave me the car because it’s faster than mine.”

“Oh good, because I was gonna say that your dick’s way too big to drive such a car.” She’s still laughing but then she realizes that she might have crossed the line and then she stops.

Dean didn’t mind, didn’t even think that it was insensitive, given the circumstances of what they aren’t.

“Sorry.” She apologizes.

“It’s okay.” He walks around, helps her get in before he settles in himself.

“So,” He says.

“So,” She repeats.

“Where do you want to go?”

“My apartment.”

Dean raises an eyebrow and looks at her suspiciously. “Do you have someone who could look after you?”

Y/N lowers her head, looks down at her hands.

“Good, my place it is then.”

“Bu—”

“—You shush. You can’t even walk or lift things. How should you do it alone?”

She shuts her mouth, knowing full well that Dean’s right.

The road begins to get familiar and Y/N notices that Dean drives to his apartment building.

He parks in the garage and she notices that her car’s still there. Dean doesn’t say anything when he notices her seeing the car.

Dean helps her out but instead of handing her the crutch, he picks her up and scoops her into his arms, carrying her to the elevator. She looks at him perplexed and he only shrugs, “It’s faster like this because you’re an awfully slow crutch walker.”

She doesn’t say anything, clings onto him and it makes her heart race. It’s the first time they’re so close.

He drops her off, to be able to open up the door but then picks her up again and carries her to the couch. Nothing’s changed. Her painting is still on the wall. Everything still looks like the day she left.

Y/N looks at Dean as he unpacks the painkillers and sorts them into piles of morning, lunch and evening. “You didn’t move?”

He turns around and looks pained. “I did.”

“Why did you keep this apartment?” The answer comes out before realization hits. “Oh,”

She still has a key to the apartment, and forgot to leave it behind when she disappeared. And then she has tears in her eyes. He really stayed here in the hopes that she’d come back?

“Yeah.” Now he’s doing the freaky thing again where he reads her mind. “Never really gave up. Thought it wouldn’t hurt if I kept it and was hoping that you’d come and at least get your car. Guess I was fooled twice.”

“Dean,”

“Don’t,” He says and walks around to sit down, there’s a safe distance between them. “We can either pretend nothing happened between us and I’m just a friend. As soon as you’re better, you can leave, that’s up to you. No hard feelings, okay?” He pauses before he goes on, “Or we could address the big elephant in the room while you’re here, and at least get that out of our way to make it all a little more bearable. It doesn’t have to be now, or today, but we both know that we have to eventually — or at least I know that I want some closure. What do you say?”

“Okay,” She nods and when she wants to look at Dean again, Bubbles jumps on the sofa and nuzzles her face against her hand. “Hey, you,” She says softly before she looks around to see if Cuddles is walking around somewhere.

“He’s gone.” Dean mumbles.

“Gone where?” She asks and then it hits, “Oh.” Now, she really has tears in her eyes. “Is it because of me?”

“You mean, you’re asking if you broke his heart so that he doesn’t have any will to live anymore and decides that he’s better off dead?” Dean chuckled darkly, “No, that’s probably only me. But seriously, he was an old cat, his liver gave out, couldn’t even eat properly anymore. I had to put him out of his misery.”

“You brought him to the vet?”

Dean frowns, “Of course I brought him to the vet to put him down, I’m not a monster, Y/N for fuck’s sake!”

It’s not that she doubts him, it’s… she doesn’t know what it is. She’s emotionally not stable at all. “I’m sorry,” She can’t help it, she’s full on sobbing. “So sorry.”

“Hey,” Dean moves closer, holds her face in the palm of his hand as he makes her look at him. “Look at me, sweetheart. Look at me. It’s not your fault, okay? Nobody saw it coming.”

She nods, but she can’t stop crying. “I should have been there.”

“Yeah, you should have,” He says drily, but adds in a softer voice, “But we don’t usually get what we want. It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” She whispers, “What are you doing, Dean? You were supposed to move on, get out and live a happy life. You were supposed to forget about me.”

And there it is, the chaste kiss on her forehead, while he still has one hand on the back of her neck.

She’d missed that.

She’d missed him.

“I could never forget about you. Not even if I’d try.” Dean lets go of her, sits back up and clears his throat. She doesn’t look at him, can’t possibly do it. But the way he sniffles, he must have been crying too.

“How are you feeling? Want anything to eat?”

She doesn’t know what to answer about how she’s feeling, so she doesn’t and says, “No.”

“Okay, let’s get you to bed. You need to rest.” Dean actually doesn’t wait for her to protest, scoops her up and walks her to his bedroom. It used to be hers too. She wonders what changed.

He tucks her in, levels her leg and then he leaves, telling her that he’s preparing her pain meds.

Y/N looks at her bedside table, her heart is doing some weird things when she sees that nothing had been moved. Her hair tie is still there. The book she started to read. His cheesy card that she propped there. But then she notices something. The drawing of them together with the cats is gone.

Dean comes in and holds out two pills, drops them into her palm. She downs them with the bottled water he gives her. “Do you need anything?”

You, she wants to say but doesn’t.

She hates that he does that. By that she means looking at her as if he tries to read her mind.

“No, thanks. I just feel tired.”

“Yeah, rest. We can talk later.” He walks out of the room but leaves the door open and she knows why. He’s afraid that he won’t hear her if she needs anything.

She falls asleep soon after taking the medications and wakes up again to Dean walking into the room with a tray of food. He puts it at the end of the bed to help her sit up before he places the tray in front of her and proceeds to sit next to her on the bed.

“I don’t have a lot of food at home nowadays. And I didn’t want to leave you and since I don’t have anyone to boss around anymore, you gotta make due with it. So, have a Winchester Delight, which basically consists of all the things I could find that are still edible.”

Y/N drives her fork into the mess. There’s no other word for it. It smells good, though. So it must be good too. She’s not even that hungry but she knows that she needs to get something in her belly if she has to take so many pain meds.

Dean watches her fork up a little and puts it in her mouth. She chews and she looks over, sees him holding in a laugh.

“It’s awful.” She swallows the one little bite but lets her fork drop into the plate.

“I know.” He’s full on laughing now. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to eat it. I found Ramen, and already made it. Just wanted to see your reaction.”

She rolls her eyes. He’s a fucking kid. Always have been, always will be.

He takes the plate and disappears, comes back with Ramen and she welcomes the warm soup.

Afterwards while Dean’s out cleaning the kitchen, she gets up, needs to go pee and brush her teeth. It’s already late and she just took two more painkillers. The crutch is right next to her bed so she takes it, but then she forgot that she’s not supposed to put weight on her ankle and of course she has to fall.

She’s angry at herself. Angry that she can’t even do a simple task of going to the bathroom on her own. Angry that her ex-boyfriend has to help her do the simplest of things.

“Jesus, Y/N, you okay?”

Of course Dean heard it.

“I’m fine.” She says, attempts to get up but fails.

“I can see that you’re fine.” He stands a couple of feet away, his arms crossed in front of his chest as he watches her trying to get up. “What did you wanna do?”

Y/N’s grumpy. “I need to fucking pee, I can do it myself, thanks.”

Dean walks to her, scoops her up, carries her to the bathroom and makes her stand right at the toilet. “Go on.”

“I need some privacy.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, but go off, I guess.” He turns himself around and plugs his ears up with his fingers. She rolls her eyes but she takes it. It’s still better than if he would watch her pee. Because that would be really creepy.

When she’s done, and Dean hears the flush, he turns around again, lifts her up and puts her in front of the sink. She can see that everything’s still there. Her brush, her toothbrush, her crazy amount of hair ties. She doesn’t say anything, though. Washes her hands and brushes her teeth while Dean waits with his head resting against the door frame.

He carries her back to the bed after, tucks her in wordlessly before he slips out again.

She lies awake even though she’s tired. It’s weird. Weird being back. Weird being here and in his bed. Weird having him looking after her when she’s been the one who ran away.

Dean comes in about an hour later, takes a shower and then he walks to the bed, slips in with her. “Is it okay if I sleep here? I just don’t wanna be far away if you need something during the night.”

“Sure, it’s your bed. If anyone shouldn’t be here, it’s me.”

Y/N hears him propping himself up, doesn’t really see it because it’s dark and she welcomes that they’re in the shadows. It makes everything easier.

“Don’t say that.” Dean exhales but doesn’t say anything else and the silence is killing her. It’s about another year (at least it felt like that) until Dean speaks, “Can I ask you something? I mean, can we talk a little? Are you up for it?”

“Okay,” She replies, because she knows that they eventually have to and what’s better than to get it over with.

He tilts his head to her and she can see him squint, as if he’s trying to make out the shape of her face. “Why did you leave?”

She’s surprised by the question. “You didn’t find out?”

“Of course I did. I’m not a fucking idiot, Y/N,” Dean huffs out, “I… I just can’t wrap my mind around why you thought that running away was the only option you had.”

“Dea—”

“—Don’t Dean me.”

She takes a deep breath before she speaks, “I betrayed you. I know what you do with people who betray you, even if you don’t want to, but you have to keep up the facade. And I was scared shitless. Not because I didn’t deserve what would have been done to me, but more because you didn’t deserve it. I know that you did love me and I wanted to help you. I wanted you to be able to get out, have a life you really want. A life you deserve. So I made a deal.”

“What was the deal?”

“If they would catch you, they would have made a deal with you. One you would take because I know that you would. You’ll be able to walk free, everything against you would have been dropped, but for it to happen, I had to go away. They didn’t want me to interfere with them catching you because I could jeopardize their operation.”

“Nothing happened. They didn’t find out. Because you already made sure of that. You already helped me.”

“I couldn’t take that chance! Even after all the information I gave them, there was still a chance that they would catch you and if they knew that it was me all along, they would not offer you the deal. So I went away before they could even find out.”

“You took the easy way out, Y/N.”

“What did you expect me to do? Sit here and wait until they get you? Watch as they destroy your existence? You were too important to me.”

“You know,” Dean exhales audibly, “I thought that it would take me a long while to put two and two together but no, I got it straight away. I thought back to our conversations, played them over and over in my head. And then I realized that I chose to ignore all the red flags. I realized that I deliberately chose to ignore all the red flags that have been thrown at me because I wanted to hold on to that happiness I felt in my heart. I have never been as happy as when I was with you.”

She’s crying by now and she knows that he is too, from the way his voice gets softer and starts to vibrate.

“I’m sorry.” She says, because it’s the only thing she can say, the only thing she can think of. “Like I wrote in that letter. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me.”

“Oh, I forgave you a long time ago, Y/N. I forgave you immediately after I read the letter.” He clears his throat, then he goes on, “The question is if you can forgive yourself. And I want you to, I really do. Maybe we can work on that, too while we’re at it. I don’t hold a grudge against you. I was never angry at you. I was angry at myself for not seeing it sooner. But then again I was asking myself what then? What if I saw it sooner? Would I have left you? Would I have locked you out of my life? Or worse, would I have killed you?”

She swallows the lump in her throat that’s building up with every word he says.

“But the answer’s always no. I could never have done any of that. Not after you’ve helped me. Because after all, you’ve kind of picked me up from a dark place and gave me something to look forward to. It’s not only that, but you also saved my life. Twice. And it was you who suggested the trucks, you always helped me, and sometimes you knew that you were helping me, but most of the time, you didn’t. You made life better, more enjoyable, you cured my nightmares. It’s you. It has always been you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Can you do me a favor?” Dean asks and he lies down, turns to the side to look at her.

“What?”

“First of all, you’ve got to stop apologizing,” He says and helps her adjust by taking the extra pillow away from her head so now she’s lying comfortably too.

“Okay.”

He flashes a smile, it’s dark but she can still see the white of his teeth.

“Let’s sleep, you must be exhausted.” He whispers now, his hand skims along her cheeks, as if he still doesn’t believe that she’s real.

He didn’t dare to touch more of her than he really has to. And she knows that he’s giving her space. Because after all, she’s the one who left and even though she told him not to, he took her home and pushed himself back into her life.

CH35

#something just like this #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester x you #mobster!dean #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #dean x reader #dean x you #nathalie writes

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imjustpeachy8 · 4 years ago

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An Inconvenient Spark

Part I. Summary: He's a Commander in the Resistance. You are a lowly force-sensitive thief from an equally lowly planet with order defying tendencies. You two under no circumstance get along. Your life take a turn the moment you decide to save his arrogant sorry-ass from certain death. If only you knew saving him would result in joining the Resistance finding not only your purpose in life - but also the biggest oaf-looking asshole in the whole galaxy. If only you could go back in time to that day - you would let him die, just to rid of this incessant headache Ben Solo is giving you. AU.

Warnings: language

Word Count: 2k

A/n: i just needed an angsty, slow burn Ben Solo fic I guess. Go easy on me guys, this is my first time with writing.

Ben Solo woke up with the intent to make that day better than the last one. Last day was - well, it was complicated. It was messy, unnecessary and downright ridiculous.

He still felt his frustration consuming every bit of his body. Yesterday, it had decided to sit on his heart and made a home in it. He didn't know how long he was going to feel it. And he hated the whole situation in each passing moment more.

Still, he forced himself to start the day as a new one. A blank page. Nothing else before the morning.

It would be for the best. For him, and for the whole base, actually. Yes, he decided then - he would do that, he would behave, he would pretend that everything was fine - just for the sake of the people who he led and commanded. And for her Mother - yes, for her he would behave.

When he stepped foot in the command center, the whole place fell silent for a moment.

Great.

Letting out a breath, he scanned the room to find a familiar face. After a second, Lt. Connix appeared next to him, a small smile disappearing from her face the moment her eyes found his.

"She's in her office, Commander. She's waiting for you."

"Thanks" - he muttered out, and went on his way.

When he reached the door of the office, he gave himself a moment to collect his thoughts. He pushed through the entrance, only to find himself face-to-face with her mother’s stern look.

"Commander, it's good to see you. Although, i believe this was due yesterday." - her tone made sure to have an edge in it.

He huffed out a breath in return. His annoyance was coming back in an instant.

"I apologize. I was.. I wasn't in the right state of mind last night and -"

"So I heard." - she replied. "Tell me, son.. what were you thinking? To send off your comrade without a blaster, and then leave her to fend for herself on her own."

Ahhh, right.

He knew this would be a problem. He just had a tiny little hope that his mother would somehow understand. Basically, he did nothing wrong. He just lost his cool for a moment back there. For a couple of moments, really, but that wasn’t important right now.

"We went back to her, she's fine and i didn’t think she'd be stupid enough to not have a blas-.."

"That's enough." - Leia pinched her nose with her delicate fingers and let out a sigh. "Ben.. you need to be smarter than this. I know the two of you had a rocky start, but this whole thing looks like you deliberately tried to leave her to die on that planet." - She was raising her voice now, obviously mad at this whole ordeal. "She's not just your fellow comrade, she's also under your guide." - She let out another long breath. "You have to fix this."

"Fine." - he reluctantly replied.

There were a lot of things Ben Solo learned in his 28 years of his life. One of the many was, that somehow women - and especially his mother - would turn out right in every argument. Every kriffing time.

Agreeing with her would be beneficial. And if he wanted to be honest with himself, a teeny tiny part of him felt guilty.

So, he let her have the last words, let her see how sorry he was - even if it only was an act. He would get scolded a little but then he would forget about the whole deal. Like nothing really happened.

"Good. I expect you to apologize to her." - she chided after a moment.

Ben let out an unwanted growl. "You cannot be serious! I won't apologize to that wench, she deserved to be left on that planet. Maybe this time, she learned something about why it is imperative to follow a simple kriffing order."

"You will apologize, end of discussion." - Leia decided to ignore her son's outburst, knowing well enough that further engaging Ben will only lead them to another heated argument.

His chest heaved. He was seeing red. Why- why should he apologize? He hadn't done anything that bad, really. He just wanted to teach her a lesson about not following his orders. Nothing else. After all, he was her commanding officer, she should be listening to him. He didn’t left her there, he just wanted her to see that she wasn’t the only person who knew how to play this game.

She was a pain in his ass, thats what she was in reality, ever since he first saw her. She - without a doubt - was the most infuriating person he had ever seen in the whole universe. She was reckless, defiant and most importantly, she tended to ignore orders when she saw fit. Well, honestly, that only happened when said order came from him. For everyone else- she was compliant, nice even. And that made him hate her more. She drew him to the fucking wall.

He was snapped out from his train of though the moment Leia started to speak again.

"And the two of you are grounded for a week. Maybe this will teach you a lesson, too." A moment passed in silence, but Leia wasn't done just yet. "Oh, and please be a dear, and deliver the news to her."

He couldn't fucking believe this.

***

"WHAT?"

You and Finn were seated in the mess cantina in the morning. The room was empty except for the two of you, everyone else was already busy with their assignments at hand. Life on the Resistance base meant that work started way too early and ended way, way too late.

You however, were back from a mission. From a really bad, tiring one to be specific. The Falcon landed in hanger B late last night, and since nobody assigned any task for you in the morning, you decided to sleep as long as you could. Hence, the reason you are the only people in the cantina, with Finn sitting across you, both eating the blob that was left behind.

"You heard me right. Kriffing bastard almost left me on that planet this time. Apparently, to teach me a lesson about defying orders." - you grinned. "Can you fucking believe it?"

Finn looked at you in disbelief. "How are you so calm about this?" - he thinned his eyes at you, clearly being suspicious of your state of mind right now. "You.. - you are planning something, aren't you? That's it, right?"

"No, my dear friend. I'm not gonna do a thing about it." - your grin grew wilder. "Someone else will...I hope." - with that, you got back on munching the blob people here called breakfast.

While eating, you thought back to last day's events. The whole thing was - well, avoidable. If only the two of you just knew how to behave when things went awry. You often found yourself thinking about this arrangement. After saving his ass on your home planet, you found yourself in a place where you could choose. Choose about your future, about what you wanted to do with your life. So you left with him and his team to join the Resistance. Acclimation to this whole situation was pretty easy for you, easier than you previously thought. Everyone was welcoming, and very friendly. The realization of you force powers was the cherry on top. As they told you, there were only two of them on the base.

Since your first day, you have been helping them with everything you could. Sometimes with mechanical work, sometimes with piloting, sometimes with missions. Work was easy to find. Peace - not so much. Not really, when a certain Commander is always pestering you with little, incessant jabs and remarks. Not when every time you come up with a wonderful idea he immediately shuts you up. And definitely not when he leaves you on Nar Shaddaa. You huff out a breath at the thought, shaking your head.

This fucking man.

Blob put aside, you and Finn were chatting about nothing, sipping caf when the doors of the cantina opened, and Ben Solo swaggered through. Your gazes locked on each other. You waited for this moment since the morning.

Being on base only for a couple of months wasn't much, but you thought of yourself as a good judge of character. While Ben Solo sometimes was still a mystery to you, her mother wasn’t. You instantly knew how Leia worked. And you had a suspicion that she knew that you knew. Looking at his annoyed face, you realized Leia was playing along. You were baffled at the thought and forced the creeping smile from your face. You needed to savor this moment.

Your commander stopped at your table, face now impassive but the twitching of his left eye and the current energy around him gave his true feelings away. He was angry and annoyed, and at that moment, you were the happiest person in the galaxy. The staring contest however, was interrupted with Finn's throat clearing.

You put up your sweetest smile you could muster and batted your lashes at him before speaking.

"Commander Solo, are you joining us for breakfast?" - you chirped.

He looked up at the ceiling then, breathing through his nose. You loved him so riled up.

As he realized that he didn't want to spend any more time in your presence than it was necessary - he leered down at you, and started talking.

"No." A beat. "I'm sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said and that I almost left you on Nar Shaddaa." - he still managed to be cocky and arrogant, even when apologizing. You couldn't believe it.

"Thank you, Commander. I hope your bruised ego will get well soon from this beautiful apology. Aaaaand, I just hope next time you would be a little more professional." - You couldn't just let him go with a sorry-ass apology like that. He needed a jab. Just a little one. "I mean.. one would think that after saving your life, you would.. I don't know.. not leave me to die on a hostile planet maybe?"

He was getting angrier now, the force around him resonated. While you loved making him angry, you realized this was not the right time to engage in another argument. After last night, you didn’t have the energy to fight, so you decided to let this conversation go as soon as possible. After all, you got what you wanted.

"What more do you want me to say, Princess? I'm sorry, take it or don't, I don't care."

What a jerk.

"Most importantly, both of us are grounded for a week, and for the time being, you're training only with Rey."

Oh. Ohhh.

You could work with that.

A whole week without working with Ben Solo? Last night, on that planet, while you desperately waited for rescue you could only think about how unlucky you were to be left behind.

Now? Now, you were certain you were the luckiest girl in the galaxy.

Leaving without another word, you again had found yourself with Finn, a shit-eating grin already on your face.

"Why are you so happy about this? Didn't you hear the part you are grounded? For a week." - he looked at you incredulously.

"Oh, Finn. Don't you see? I got myself an apology and a Ben Solo-free week. I really couldn't have hoped for more."

If being mouthy and sarcastic around the Commander always resulted with a week of not seeing him, you would probably just try to sabotage every mission from now on.

#ben solo x reader #ben solo x you #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #ben solo fanfiction #bendemption #ben solo lives #star wars fanfiction #ben solo fanfic #star wars #ben solo deserved better

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elveny · 4 years ago

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WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @pigeontheoneandonly - thank you so much! ♥

Tagging forth to @kunstpause @curiousthimble @pikapeppa @irlaimsaaralath @midnightprelude @serial-chillr @faerieavalon @schoute @captainderyn @solas-disapproves @kittimau @johaeryslavellan @greyias @kauriart @buttsonthebeach and all who want to grab it :D No pressure as always ♥

Kunstpause and I are currently working on the end of The Mind Lies, Not The Heart. Care for a sneak peak?

“What’s the matter, Arishok?” Adriene panted, tightening her grip on her knives, flashing him a cocky smile as she limped back, keeping out of reach. “Getting angry?”

He didn’t answer, but something in his eyes changed that made her smile widen.

“Ah. You’re not mad that I don’t die as quickly as you thought I would even though you made sure that this fight is anything but fair?”

The growl got louder, and Adriene clicked her tongue at him, still carefully walking backward, keeping a close eye on his movements. “Tsk. I feel like you should’ve known better by now. There’s a reason you admire me. Even made me basalit-an, right? I’m just that good.”

Another swing of his ax she avoided, followed by his sword, and the impact of it on her knives nearly forced her to her knees, a dull ache running through her as she groaned under its force. Summoning all the strength she could, Adriene pushed at him, even forced him a step back, then she quickly rolled out of reach again, rounding a pillar to gain a bit of distance to him. She was dimly aware of the scared tension in the room, of the faces watching them, and the shocked gasps and shouts whenever one of them landed a hit. But she knew that the second she took her attention off the Arishok would be her death.

Already, he was quickening his steps, brandishing his weapons.

“You’re going to lose, you know,” she coaxed him again. His fury made him more aggressive, but also more reckless. And she needed every advantage she could get. “Your rigid rules just make you inflexible.”

That was the moment he charged again, but Adriene had seen it coming. With a fast twist to the side, she managed to dodge his attack, slashing her knives over his back.

There was no time to talk anymore afterward. With a furious yell, the Arishok turned, bringing both his weapons down on her in quick succession, forcing her back towards the people lining their arena. Both of them were bleeding from various wounds by now, Adriene favoring one of her legs.

And as she held off his attacks with quickly diminishing strength, she realized something.

She was going to lose.

#wip wednesday #da2 #dragon age fanfiction #elveny writes #everything is going to be so horrible and I apologize in advance #sort of

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madisonromanoff · 4 years ago

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Never Letting You Go

Natasha Romanoff X Ex!Fem!Reader

Prompt: “do you think it’s easy for me to see you with somebody else?” “You know what? Your the one who ended it, remember?” “Yeah! Because I was mad at you not because I stopped loving you!”

This is my first fic on here, I take contrucitive criticism and won’t be hurt if there are any mistakes you point out, in fact please do! I hope you like ☺️

Y/n’s Fit: https://pin.it/2Bz76VY

Daisys Fit but in black: https://www.instagram.com/p/B2hoQ1Aniqg/?igshid=1cv1qjab1x8vl

сердце = heart

(Your/Favorite/Drink)

You really can’t believe you let Tony drag your ass back here. Sure it’s been three months but you still weren’t ready to come back. And see her.

Flashback 3 months ago

“I can’t believe you did that!” Natasha yelled the instant the door shut “You we’re stupid and reckless and stupid!” She turned to face you her face red with anger.

You’ve never seen her like this but you don’t back down, you had a job to do and you did it. You really shouldn’t have but you rolled your eyes “You said stupid twice.” You replied blandly

Natashas eye twitched in anger “That’s because you are. How can you just sit there and be so calm!” She yelled

You stood up in frustration “What do you want me to do?” You yelled raising your arms out not knowing who to do or say. Your just so tired. All you wanted to do was come home take a shower and lay in bed with Nat. Your plans never go according to plan hence this argument.

“I want you to say something! anything to show me you know what you did was wrong! How dangerous it was. How stupid you are-“ she goes to continue but you scoff at her

“Are you being serious?! I had to do what I did or 8 civilians would’ve died! I’ll give you what I did was dangerous” you take a few steps so you’re a foots distance away from Nat “but what I did was not wrong and I am not stupid.” You stand in front of her with your jaw clenched and body tense

Nat turns around and scoffs “You always do this. You always risk your live with no thoughts of the consequences!” She suddenly whips around facing you eyes alight with a new blaze of fury “It’s like you have no regard for your safely! As if I’m not here waiting for you to come back!” She explodes “You act like you have no one that cares if you live or die! I’m sick of it! We have this conversation every. Single. Time! And you either avoid it or just plain out refuse to talk about it! I’m tired of this and of you not caring about yourself and how I’d feel if you died.” She wipes the tears that started streaming down her face “I want you to leave.” She takes a step back from you wiping her face.

“We’re done. leave.” Cold. Emotionless. Her words shock you to your core

You take a step forward reaching your hand for her shoulder but even with her back turned she effortlessly dodges “what?” You choke out tears in your eyes

“Leave or I will.” She turns never turns around.

“Nat I can’t-“ she walks past you and out your room before you can even finish

Present

“Well don’t you look dashing.” a voice says behind you. You turn and it’s your date for the evening. Daisy Johnson.

You smirk “I know.” You aren’t trying to be cocky but you know you look dam fine in this suit. You kept it simple. A simple red blazer and trousers that fitted you to a T paired with a tight black shirt with a silver chain. Pairing them of course with black cap toe oxfords.

Daisy wearing a black silk loose thin strapped jumper with a plan necklace, paired with gold strappy heals.

Walking into the building and the elevator your nerves are hay-wire. Not just because Natasha but because when you left you didn’t tell anyone. You just disappeared. You know Wanda and Bucky are going to be pissed and frankly you’re scared how they’re gonna react. She’s the little sister you never had but got and Bucky was the older brother you never knew you wanted nor needed till you met him.

“Stop tapping you foot. It’s annoying.” Daisy says as she stands up from her place leaning against the elevator. “Im here for you and I won’t leave your side. Plus we look good together.” She winked as she interlocked your arms as you rolled your eyes but smiled cause she was right. The minute you strolled into the party everyone’s eyes were on you and Daisy. You looked around for Tony. you felt her stare and tried to ignore it.

“C’mon let’s go find Tony.”

“Well look who the cat dragged in.” You hear from behind you.

Turning “Tony!” You laugh as he engulfs you in a hug

“Who’s this, beautiful lady.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you as he grabs Daisys hand and presses a kiss to it.

Daisy rolls her eyes as she snatched her hand back. “This lady’s name is Daisy.”

He looks at her and back to you “I like her. I approve.” Before you even have the chance of replying a body collided with your back and the scent of vanilla cinnamon engulfs you.

You grin and turn around holding them into your arms “Wanda!” You spin her in circles still holding onto her as she giggles

“(Y/n)!” She laughs out as you set her down “I’ve missed you so much!” She goes in for another hug before a throats cleared and how you didn’t see Buckys 6’0 super soldier behind her you don’t know.

You smile nervously at him as Wanda steps to the side a little bit so nothing stands in your path to him. “Hey Bucky. You missed me?” He rolls his eyes but there’s a bright grin on his face as he scoops you up into his arms as you laugh.

“I’ve missed you Kid” He sets you down “But don’t you ever disappear for three months again without telling us before.”

Wanda steps in hands on her hips leveling you with a glare “Yeah. (Y/nn), total bad sister move.” She shakes her head “I understand with what happened but we we’re really worried if Tony hadn’t tracked you down and told us you were safe, we were going to go out and look for you ourselves.” She shakes her head “But we’re happy your back.”

You sigh but you know they’re right. You shouldn’t have left without saying goodbye to the team, you just felt so hurt and lost you just needed time. “You’re right I’m sorry.” You whispered out. Wanda gives you a warm smile as Bucky grins at you.

“Hi, I’m Daisy.” Dam. You jump. You almost forgot she was here.

Wandas mouth drops a little at seeing Daisy and you swear you see her drool as Bucky introduces himself. Bucky elbows Wanda when she stands there for too long looking like a fish out of water. You withhold a chuckle.

“What’s your name beautiful?” Daisy gives Wanda a flirty grin

Wanda blushes “Wanda Maximoff.” Regaining some of her confidence “but you can call me yours.” Her eyes twinkle as Daisy laughs but blushes under her stare

“Careful (Y/n) looks like Wandas trying to steal your girl.” He whispers into your ear.

“She’s not my girl” your eyes catch familiar green “Shes never been my girl.” You whisper

Time Skip

God. You think as you step on the balcony door. It’s really hot in there. You take a sip of (y/f/d) as the doors to the balcony open and close. You were going to turn around but you’d know the barely silent steps anywhere. They sound hesitant with underlying confidence, you’re definitely not ready for this conversation. In fact you were actively trying to avoid it.

“Hey.” She breathes out next to you

“Hey.” It comes out a little raspy from nerves and you hope she doesn’t notice even though you know she will.

You stay silent before taking a deep breath inhaling her spicy yet sweet scent before you finally look at her. Her eyes are already on you and your breath gets caught in your throat. She’s gorgeous. You’ve always known but after 3 months of not being around her and now having her standing in front of you, you almost forget how to breathe. But as you do, you take the chance to really look at her and your heart races. She’s wearing a red dress with an open back and a split that comes up from her middle thigh. You eyes trail up to her breast before you can realize. You snap your eyes towards hers. Her pupils are dilated and darker then they were a minute ago.

You turn your head to look forward and clear your throat. “Sorry.” You mumble out

“It’s fine.” She says dismissing you

You shake your head “it’s not because-“

“Because you have a new girlfriend now?” She practically growls out. You turn to look at her in disbelief.

“What? N-” you can’t even get out before she continues

“She is pretty” she says but it sounds bitter “but she doesn’t deserve you.” She states as if it’s a fact. It is in her eyes.

“What’s wrong with you?” You ask her in shock. Why is she acting like this?

“Do you think it’s easy for me to see you with somebody else?” She steps closer to you. Invading you with her intoxicating scent, drawing and pulling you in.

Your angry and confused “You know what? Your the one who ended it, remember?!” You take a step back needed some space, her being so close to you is really starting to affect you.

“Yeah! Because I was mad at you not because I stopped loving you!” She yells out.

You freeze. Eyes snapping to hers. Did you hear that right? “You love me?” voice cracking and heart swelling. She loves you? “B-but you broke up with me? You told me to leave. You left?” You shift your feet feeling confused and happy at the same time.

She steps forward gently grabbing your face with her hands. “I was angry and upset that you almost died. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did and after talking to Clint I came back but you were gone.” A tear slides down her cheek “I wanted to look for you right away but Bucky said you probably needed time. Tony found you and I was going to go see you but Tony said you said you needed time. So I gave it to you” she closes her eyes as she thinks back to when you first walked into the party with Daisy on your arm. You looked perfect together, happy. She drops her hands form your face “but I took to long and now your with someone else” you furrow your eyebrows as she takes a step back.

“Daisy?” You ask questioningly “No no no no” you shake your head taking a step towards her “She’s my friend, she came with me for moral support.” You chuckle thinking back to how you left them. Daisy and Wanda were flirting up a storm. They were for sure going to get together. “She and Wanda hit it off.” You look at her cheekily as you wrap your arms around her waist pulling her in “Plus I’m already in love with somebody else.”

She grins at you wrapping her hands around your shoulders and connecting them behind your neck “Oh? Do pray tell.”

You nudge her nose with your own “She’s absolutely gorgeous. She has beautiful red hair and the greenest eyes I could get lost in any day. She gets angry when I don’t worry about my safety and overreacts sometimes” she rolls her yes but has a huge smile on her face “she has a giant heart even after everything she’s been through. Still cares about the world and people in it even if they don’t deserve it. And she’s standing in my arms right now.” You pause making sure to pour everything you feel into the word you say next “I love you, my Natalia.” You whisper against her lips

“And I love you, my сердце.” She whispers back and kisses you so passionately your head spins.

You sigh as you break apart leaning you forehead against hers eyes still closes “I’m not letting you go again.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Natasha replies

«————————————-*————————————»

Did you like it?

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff x female reader #reader insert #marvel universe #marvel #natalia romanova #black widow #black widow x reader #avengers

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juju-on-that-yeet · 5 years ago

Text

Hopelessly Devoted to You

Summary: Yancy’s in love with his best friend. He already knows it won’t work between them, so he keeps his building crush buried deep. That is, until he admits it by accident. Warnings: None Characters: Yancy, Illinois, Yandereplier shows up a bit

Tags: @peribloke @tired-eldritchhorror @crithechaotic @letsrevitup

Read on AO3

Enjoy!

All things considered, living at Ego Inc. is a pretty sweet deal, even compared to Happy Trails Penitentiary. Not having a set schedule took some getting used to, but Yancy finds he enjoys being able to eat whenever he wants, to sleep in as late as he wants, or stay up late doing…pretty much anything.

That’s a good thing about Ego Inc.: There’s so much to do here that Yancy never has to step a foot outside the place, much to his relief. Freedom is intimidating, and unlike Captain Magnum and Illinois, Yancy doesn’t have any inclination for adventure beyond the four walls in which he lives. Here, he doesn’t have to leave the house to get something to eat, work out, or even record a song or dance on a stage.

Another great thing about Ego Inc., perhaps the best part: The other egos. Yancy was wary at first of all these new people, but it didn’t take him long to realize that they’re all misfits and oddballs just as his prison family was. He and MarkBop took a shine to each other over their shared love of song, and Yancy managed to convince Wilford and Bim to let him perform on the studio stage. All three had been impressed with Yancy’s singing and dancing chops, and Yancy’s spent too long surrounded by thugs and criminals to be intimidated by Wilford, so he gets along with them well. He found a friend in Yandere, too, after he challenged Yandere to a brawl and was promptly beaten into a pulp. He likes Yandere’s chutzpah and Yandere likes his, and the two quickly became metaphorical and literal partners in crime. Google Chrome became a friend too, or at least something close to it, just by proximity. His anger doesn’t faze Yancy; he's got his own problems with anger and he’s met plenty of angry people back in prison. He's found that they can be pretty swell if one looks past the rough edges.

There’s only a few egos who Yancy doesn’t much care for. Silver Shepherd is nice enough, but he’s too much of a goody-two-shoes for Yancy’s style. Darkiplier creeps him out, and Yancy bristles at his authority the same way he did at Warden Murderslaughter’s. Dr. Iplier reminds him too much of a parent, coddling and saccharine and way too gentle, and Yancy’s already made it clear that he’s not interested in that kind of family here (somehow the way Yandere babies him and calls him “Yan-Yan” and lavishes physical affection on him feels different).

There’s egos he thinks are okay, egos he’d rather avoid but can’t say he dislikes, and egos he doesn’t have much of an opinion on. But there’s only one that he can’t say he knows how to feel about at all.

And that person, strangely enough, is Illinois.

By all accounts, he should have a solid opinion. The two of them plus Captain Magnum came to Ego Inc. as a package deal, a trio of musketeers, on the tail end of a whirlwind adventure. Yancy certainly has an opinion of Magnum; he’s an awesome guy and great fun to be around, and helped show Yancy the value of freedom as the group traversed the globe. He looked out for Yancy when Illinois got too caught up in the thrill of adventure to watch out for his friends, and was the first to notice when Yancy started to bristle at the nomadic life they were living with the desire to be inside four walls again. Despite the good company Yancy’s found at Ego Inc., he still considers Magnum one of his best and truest friends.

But then, there’s Illinois.

Or Lio, as most of the egos have taken to calling him. Their opinion of him is as mixed as Yancy’s; half the group seems to have fallen for his charm, or at least likes him well enough. The other half bristles as his flirty personality and finds him irritating. Hell, the whole reason Yancy picked a fight with Yandere was because Yandere decked Lio after Lio blew a kiss at him. Yancy's managed to keep Lio in Yandere’s good graces as he's befriended him, assuring him that Lio means no harm. But at the same time, Yancy can see why some people dislike Lio so much.

He’s arrogant, cocky, self-absorbed, reckless…

Passionate…

Hard-working…

Gold-hearted…

Handsome…

Perfect.

Therein lies the problem.

“Don’t miss me too much,” Lio quips before he leaves for another jungle trek or spelunking trip.

“Like what you see?” Lio jokes when he comes back with ripped clothes from near-misses with traps.

“Did you finally fall in love with me?” Lio asks with a cheeky grin whenever Yancy does something particularly thoughtful for him.

“Oh, sure,” Yancy replies with a laugh.

“Yes,” he thinks, earnest and hurting.

He’s in love with Lio. He has been for a while.

He can’t stand it.

He knows Lio, he knows his issues with commitment. He knows about the partners of his that have come and gone, some who were killed on adventures, some who were scared off by the dangerous lifestyle. He remembers talking with Lio about Dark’s rule to avoid forming relationships with humans, romantic or otherwise.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Lio had sighed, “I do my best work alone, after all. It’s about time I stopped breaking hearts.”

Yancy had rolled his eyes and teased him, and inside he’d cringed. If only Lio knew.

Yancy knows from experience that he has a bad habit of falling hard and fast. It never really takes much; his standards aren’t exactly high, having spent so long surrounded by criminals.

His first love at Happy Trails was a blonde waif of a woman, jailed for shoplifting. She had a dazzling smile and the skill to snag apples from the cafeteria right under the noses of the guards, and that was all Yancy had needed to fall for her. They had a whirlwind romance that ended a few months later when she made parole. She came to see Yancy the first two visitation Sundays, and on the second, said she wouldn’t be coming back. She’d moved on with normal life, was trying to do better, and coming around to Happy Trails and carrying on a relationship with a convicted murderer wouldn’t do her any favors. Yancy had swallowed sobs as he wished her the best.

His last love at the prison was a dark-haired man in for drug trafficking, tall and nearly as broad as Magnum, but clean-shaven and absolutely covered in tattoos. He had an artistic soul, just like Yancy, and it drew them together right away. Yancy still remembers spending long nights dancing his fingers along the man’s many tattoos under the fluorescent lights of his cell. He was around much longer than the woman, and when he was finally released, he didn’t bother visiting even once. It took three months of visitation Sundays for Yancy to give up on him.

In between those two, there were plenty of others, and Yancy remembers them all, remembers every little piece of his heart they took with him. The prisoners not in Yancy’s group called him all sorts of unsavory names behind his back regarding the number of partners he’d had. Yancy doesn’t consider himself promiscuous, though it wouldn’t be so bad if he was. Maybe if he was only in it for the physical side of things, it wouldn’t hurt so bad when they left.

Because they always left.

And Yancy has no doubt that if he ever confessed to Lio that Lio would end up leaving, too. If he accepted Yancy’s affections then there’s no way it would last, not with the ghosts of a hundred failed relationships on both their backs. More likely, though, Lio would reject him, and Yancy would lose an incredible friend.

For all of Lio’s faults, for all his self-importance and too-high self-confidence, he’s still a good person. He supports Yancy’s passion as enthusiastically as he does his own, providing insightful critique when Yancy needs it and cheering on every performance. He defends Yancy to others when he gets in trouble, and doesn’t bat an eye at Yancy’s past crimes or current anger issues. He knows how to keep a secret, and Yancy trusts him enough to tell him his fears, his worries about living in this big building that isn’t a prison, the way freedom feels like pressure after so long without. Lio trusts him, too, and can be unflinchingly honest about his own fear of commitment and his petraphobia from years of dodging boulders. Under all the bravado is a truly charming man, someone kind and considerate and strong and beautiful –

“Get it together, Yancy. Quit thinkin’ about it.”

Fortunately, Yancy is a performer, which means he can be a damn good actor when he tries. And he tries so hard around Lio, swallows every feeling and prick in his heart deep into himself. They build and build, but Yancy keeps them locked up tight.

He does let it slip to Yandere once, though.

“Oh my gosh, you’re in love with Lio??” Yandere asks, squealing with excitement. “Tell me everything! How long have you known? Does he know? When are you gonna tell him?”

“Woah, hey!” Yancy cries, trying to placate Yandere’s excitement. “Look, I haven’t told him nothin’, and I ain’t gonna.”

“What!? Why not??” Yandere gasps with a pout.

“Because it don’t…” Yancy sighs. “It don’t matter. He ain’t gonna like me back. He’s got his whole thing about commitment, y’know.”

“Well, yeah, but…” Yandere’s eyes go starry. “But maybe he could change his ways for the right person, you could make him a better person –”

“It don’t work that way, Yan,” Yancy interrupts. “It’s a nice thought, but love don’t fix people. All the relationships I had in prison didn’t fix nobody.”

Yandere pouts again.

“But you two would be so cute together!” he exclaims, “You should at least tell him, get it off your chest! I can be your wingman, we could –”

“No!” Yancy shouts, then reigns himself in. “No, I’m not tellin’ Lio. And youse gotta swear you won’t, neithers.”

“Okay, Yan-kun,” Yandere says, concerned and bummed but not wanting to upset Yancy further. “But I’ll help you if you ever change your mind.”

Yancy isn’t surprised by Yandere’s reaction. He’s a truer romantic than Yancy ever could be, that’s for sure. Yancy may not have a clue what possessed him to fall for Darkiplier of all people, but he has to admit that they seem happy together, that they treat each other well. Yandere is, well, a yandere: He’s captivated by love, obsessed with it, he believes in happy endings and rom-coms and riding away on a white horse together.

Yancy’s a romantic, too, but he’s a realist. He’s been around the block too many times to believe in the power of love like Yandere does. Yancy knows that love can’t fix people, it can’t smooth over flaws, it can’t dull rough edges. Sometimes love can motivate people to do better, to be better (Yancy’s seen that, too), but it can’t change who people are.

Loving Lio won’t make him less of a heart-breaker. Confessing to Lio won’t make him more likely to love Yancy back.

So Yancy keeps it bottled up.

He keeps hanging out with Lio, of course, because Lio’s still his friend and he could never stay away for long. He still listens to Lio’s stories of adventure, still bounces song and choreography ideas off of him, still spends days with Lio and Magnum, too, just like old times before the group found Ego Inc., back when Yancy was too distracted by constant activity to think about his crush. He likes the change of pace at Ego Inc., but it means he can’t always stay up into the wee hours of the morning laughing with Lio and Magnum, nor can he always cause trouble with Yandere and Chrome all night.

Inevitably Yancy ends up lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wrestling with own thoughts. He’ll give himself whiplash pushing Lio out of his mind only to catch himself thinking of him minutes later. When Yancy falls asleep, he dreams of Lio, dreams of slow-dancing with him to quiet showtunes, dreams of holding onto his broad shoulders as Lio’s hands lightly hold his waist, dreams of moving his hands across Lio’s shoulders and up his neck to cup his cheeks, dreams of Lio flashing his classic heart-stopping grin as Yancy’s fingers trace his cheekbones, dreams of leaning in as Lio tugs him closer, dreams of their lips coming together –

Yancy wakes up and showers in freezing water for the next thirty minutes, waiting for the heat in his blood to cool, the heat that makes him want to finish the dream in his mind, the heat that makes him want to punch holes into his bedroom wall.

Thank goodness, at least, for the soundproofing. He’d asked for it when he first got his room, partly for the sake of the others and partly for his own privacy. Yancy has a habit of singing out his feelings, and he prefers a place to do it without anyone listening in.

“You know I'm just a fool who's willing, to sit around and wait for you,” he sings to himself quietly, under the roar of water in the shower.

“But, baby, can't you see, there's nothing else for me to do?” he sings as he gets dressed, words muffled as he pulls a white t-shirt over his head.

“I'm hopelessly devoted to you,” he sings as he hesitates by the door, knowing that he’s about to face Lio once more, and push everything down once again.

It’s not just the lovelorn sadness that’s getting harder to hold back. It’s the anger. The frustrated, impotent rage that he sometimes feels toward Lio for being such an oblivious, heart-breaking flirt. But more often he’s angry at himself, angry for torturing himself, angry he can’t just see Lio as a friend and get over it, angry that he has to hide so much of himself away day in and day out. Yancy hates it, because he’s gotten a lot better about his anger, lately. His outbursts have been much less frequent since he left Happy Trails, and the one he does have are much milder, much shorter. But anger is building in him like it never has before, right alongside the aching lovelorn pining filling up his heart.

He’s not in Happy Trails anymore. This is a prison of his own making, and it’s far worse than any amount of time in solitary Warden Murderslaughter could’ve given him.

He looks at Lio and he wants to kiss him.

No, he wants to punch him in the throat.

“Say it now, say it now, explain to me,” he sings to his bedroom ceiling, “Why this happens every time, give me any kind of sign, ’cause I just can't walk away…”

Lio laughs, and Yancy wishes he could listen forever.

He knocks his head against his bedroom wall until he stops thinking about it.

“Why beat your handsome brow?” he asks himself, “Nothing changes, nothing changes, nothing changes, anyhow.”

Lio brushes dust off his hat with strong, calloused hands that would feel so good in Yancy’s hair.

“Stop it, stop it, it ain’t happenin’, Yancy, get a grip!!”

“I love him, but every day I’m learning,” he shouts into his bathroom mirror, “All my life, I’ve only been pretending!”

When Lio hugs him, as he does sometimes, his whole mind and body stop working, and Yancy remembers the feeling of his arms for the rest of the day.

He screams his throat raw at night, throws the heaviest book on his shelf at the wall.

“My head is saying, “Fool, forget him,”” he gasps, “My heart is saying, “Don’t let go, hold on ‘till the end.””

He sits in the middle of his bedroom floor. There’s a dent in the wall. How long has it been since he last did something like that in anger?

“And that's what I intend to do,” he whispers, as quiet as he can manage, “I’m hopelessly devoted to you.”

The dam is doomed to burst.

After all the acting and hiding and swallowing feelings, Yancy blows his own cover in a single thoughtless moment, completely by accident.

Him and Lio are hanging out like usual. Magnum has gone off to who knows where, leaving Yancy and Lio on the floor of Lio’s bedroom, there to better take in Lio’s latest additions to his geode collection. The conversation’s moved on from the geodes, but they’re still sitting on the floor, laughing and goofing around.

“Dark really hates when Mags goes out sailing,” Lio chuckles, “I guess because he’s too conspicuous.”

“As much I don’t like the guy, he’s got a point,” Yancy points out, “Don’t think most folks make prost’etics outta tree trunks anymores.”

“And that’s the last thing people tend to notice,” Lio laughs, “After the beard, the scar, the accent, the way he’s as big as three men put together…”

“Youse think he’d be mad at us for talkin’ ‘bout him like this?”

“Nah, he’d take it all as a compliment. The man likes to be seen.”

“And you don’t?” Yancy raises an eyebrow.

“I never said that I don’t,” Lio chuckles, “Only that Magnum does.”

“Sounds a bit hypocritical s’all I’m sayin’.”

“Well, can you blame me for wanting to be seen?” Lio winks, and Yancy swears he can hear a whip crack in the air. “I mean, I am very handsome.”

“Very fulla youse-self, more like.” Yancy flicks him in the nose.

“Hey!” Lio sputters, and Yancy laughs. “Don’t act like you don’t get it. It’s only a matter of time before you fall for my effortless charm.”

“Is it really “effortless” if youse such a try-hard all the time?” Yancy asks wryly. “‘Sides, I already have.”

It comes out without him thinking, just another line of banter. His throat dries up.

“Did I really just say that?”

“Oh, have you now?” Lio chuckles. He’s still acting playful. He thinks Yancy was kidding. It’s not too late, this is salvageable.

“C’mon Yancy, play along! Flick him in the nose again and say “in your dreams” or somethin’! Don’t just sit there!”

But Yancy’s throat is still dry. This is different than a simple “oh, sure” or sarcastic “I’m swooning,” this is a true admission. Of guilt, of love, of everything Yancy’s been working so hard to hide. His brain screams at him to speak but he can’t make his voice come out. He knows it must show on his face; he can feel his blood running cold, feel how his smile has fallen away, feel how wide his eyes are. Lio doesn’t notice right away, he laughs at himself, at Yancy’s statement, but then he meets Yancy’s eyes and takes in his expression. There’s a futile hope that he won’t make the connection, but how could he not? Lio’s no idiot.

“Yancy, are you okay? What –”

Lio realizes. His eyes go as wide as Yancy’s. Shock floods his face like Yancy has never seen before. He wants to crawl away and die.

“Yancy, buddy,” Lio gasps, “That…that bit about falling for me, that…that was a joke, right?”

Lio knows it wasn’t. That much is clear. But if Yancy can just pretend, if he can try to play it off, then he and Lio never have to address it. They’ll never have to talk about it again. Things can go back to normal. Lio wants to save face, his own and Yancy’s. Yancy only has to say the word.

But he can’t. He’s spent too long denying it to himself, spent too long pretending. He can’t make himself do it any longer. He wants to keep denying, he has to, but he can’t play it off. His heart is too tired. His voice is too weak. He can’t hide anymore.

Watching Lio’s face is like watching a car wreck in slow motion. Yancy watches his confession settle into Lio’s mind, watches Lio realize that Yancy won’t take it back. His face fills with panic, his skin pales a few shades. Yancy thinks they must be twins, both pale and moon-eyed in their paralyzing shock. Lio opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. He’s speechless. Yancy’s never seen that happen before.

“Yancy…” Lio starts. Regret, sorrow, pity, fear. It all plays across his face. He settles for strained, uncomfortable guilt as he struggles for words. “Yancy, I’m…I’m sorry.” He looks away, then back at Yancy again. “I don’t…” He sighs, a quiet huff out of his nose. “I don’t.”

This is the outcome Yancy knew would happen. This is the outcome Yancy feared. This is the thing that kept his mouth shut all this time. This is the thing he saw in his nightmares.

He can feel his heart split all the way down the center, twisting and knotting up in his chest. There’s knots in his throat, too, so lumpy and painful and aching that Yancy fears Lio can see them. He’s sure Lio can see the tears starting to cloud Yancy’s eyes.

“Oh,” Yancy manages, “I mean…yeah.”

He’s not surprised. He knew this would happen.

“That’s why you tried to hide it in the first place, you fucking genius, you moron, you huge goddamn stupid piece of worthless unlovable –”

Yancy gets up from the floor, fleetingly glad that this didn’t happen in his own room. He doubts he’d have the stomach to kick Lio out.

“I’m…I’ll just go,” he manages, voice choked with barely-restrained sobs.

“Yan –”

“Bye.”

“Yan!”

Yancy stops, hand on the door, knob already turned. He tells himself not to look back, but why start listening to himself now? Lio has stood up, too, staring after him with some mix of worry and terror on his face.

“Yan, how…how long?” His voice is layered with pity, and it makes Yancy’s heart start burning.

“It don’t matter.”

He opens the door and runs off. Lio doesn’t call after him, he doesn’t follow.

Yancy storms into his room seeing red, nothing but red, filtered through ugly tears. The moment the door slams shut they pour out in a howl.

“It’s ruined. I ruined it. I just lost my best friend.”

The lump in his throat bursts, sobs shoot out of him without his control. His body is torn between collapsing where it stands and storming around the room.

“He knows now, he knows. He knows how much I want him, he knows I’ve wanted him for a long time. He knows everything.”

His body makes its choice.

Yancy picks up his desk chair and heaves it across the room with a roar.

He punches holes into the wall. He kicks his bedframe so hard he leaves a dent. He throws books. He tears up music sheets. He only ever pauses to wipe tears out of his eyes when he can’t see enough to keep destroying. He never stops screaming. He never stops cursing himself inside. He never stops telling himself off for destroying his friendship with Lio. He never stops yelling at himself for letting his biggest secret go.

Unfortunately, though his room is soundproof, some sound can still leak out if it’s loud enough.

“Yancy, what’s going on??” cries Yandere from outside Yancy’s door. He must be here to hang out with Yancy. To watch a movie? To tear up the town? Who knows? Who cares?

“Go away!!” Yancy screams. He doesn’t recognize the sound of his own voice, hoarse from shouting and warped from rage.

“What the hell are you doing in there!?” Yandere shrieks, alarmed by the venom in Yancy’s voice. Yancy doesn’t care. He slams his hand against his bedroom door, feeling a sick glimmer of satisfaction when Yandere yelps from the other side.

“I ain’t gonna tell you again!” Yancy roars, slamming the door again, both hands this time. “Get! Lost!!”

He turns away, anger unabated. He still can’t see through the red in his vision. Through the ever-falling tears. He hates this sadness. He hates this feeling. He hates his own stupidity, his own big mouth. He keeps wrecking his room, putting holes in the wall. He hears nothing from outside for a long moment, and thinks Yandere’s finally left him alone.

Until he hears a loud thud from his door, then another, then the door slams open as Yandere kicks it in.

Yancy whirls on him, and he catches Yandere’s determination falter. Yancy’s been good about managing his anger until now, Yandere’s never seen this before. They’re each at a standstill. But it only lasts a moment before Yandere furrows his brow again and approaches Yancy.

“The fuck’s he doin’ here, breakin’ into my room!? Can’t he let me grieve in peace??”

“Look, I don’t know what the hell you’re so mad about, but –”

Crack!

Yancy punches Yandere without thinking about it. He’s only angry. Angry to lose his privacy. Angry to have his space intruded on. Quick as a flash, Yandere reaches out to grab Yancy’s wrists. Yancy pulls but can’t pull free. Yandere snaps up his head to glare at him, eyes burning red. His grip on Yancy tightens, tightens. A bruise is already blooming across his cheek, a thin line of blood sneaks past his lips.

All at once, Yancy comes back to himself.

“What did you do!? You just punched Yandere! Youse already lost one friend today, what’ll you do if you lose another?? You’re gonna get abandoned again!!”

The red leaks out of Yancy’s vision. He blinks, gasps.

“I’m sorry,” he says, voice weak and raspy and already wet with fresh tears, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t thinking, please, I’m sorry –” He drops to his knees, blood rushing in his ears. “Don’t leave, don’t leave, I’m sorry, don’t leave me, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” His words trail off as he starts to sob, aching and loud and painful like he did when he first ran into his room.

He can hardly see Yandere through his tears, but he can see the red in his eyes fade away as Yancy begs before him. Yandere may not know anger like Yancy’s, but he knows fear of rejection, he knows fear of abandonment. He lets go of Yancy’s wrists.

“Yan-kun, hey, hey, it’s okay,” he gasps, like he’s in pain, too. He kneels down to Yancy’s level to hug him. “It’s okay, you’re my friend, Yan-kun, I’m not going anywhere.” Yancy hugs Yandere back, as tight as he can, as Yandere rubs his back. “What happened, Yan-Yan? What’s got you so upset?”

Yancy only bawls harder in response, burrowing into Yandere’s arms so hard that he stumbles, falling back to sit on the floor. Yancy curls up in Yandere’s lap, wailing into his neck, and Yandere holds him, stroking his hair and trying to soothe him. They sit there in Yancy’s ruined room, curled over Yancy’s ruined heart.

Yancy keeps crying. He can’t forget any of it. He can’t forget his haphazard confession, he can’t forget Lio’s shock and embarrassment and guilt and pity, he can’t forget his own beating heart, still thumping for Lio after everything. He can’t forget the friend he’s lost, the lover he wished he could’ve had. He weeps because it’s over, it’s well and truly over.

He cannot sing for tears, but song haunts him anyway, it rings in his mind as keen as his beleaguered heart beats:

But now there's nowhere to hide,

Since you pushed my love aside,

I'm out of my head,

Hopelessly devoted to you.

#yancy/illinois #yancy #illinois jones #ahwm #markiplier fanfiction #kristin says stuff #these booooooys #also thx thomas for introducing me to songs in here #big preesh uwu #now you're an accomplice in my angst owo #my writing

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