#she's 100% aware. she knows what's going on there. the second she saw evan with that box of chocolates

[birlwrites]

could you talk about maeve and emma's relationship? maeve is a favorite oc in ttdl for me, im very fond of her chaotic short & rich person energy, and i enjoy how regulus sees them rapidly slow burning in the background and goes ah. that bears no parallels to my life whatsoever.

YEAAAAA

maeve and emma are some of the. more mentally healthy sacred 28 scions in ttdl - they've both got generally good relationships with their families (maeve has some points of tension with her parents re: future life plans, but they're points of *tension* as opposed to points of *outright aggression*), and they're doing pretty well at things like having hobbies and a social life. which is to say they're doing so much better than regulus is afjlshgsjkghsjdf BUT ANYWAY.

maeve definitely fell first - i have in my notes 'emma is quidditchsexual' at the beginning point of their arc, but like, she was Aware™ that maeve was pretty. maeve also got called out on said feelings Very quickly by lucinda (whose particular method of calling out in this case amounted to cornering maeve in their room and going 'sooooooooooooo, is there anything you want to tell me :)')

lucinda also definitely winged for maeve in this situation by frequently dragging charlotte out of their room to go study in the library or smth (which is not difficult to do) and thus Conveniently leaving maeve and emma alone

but as i said. maeve fell first. so at first emma was just a little bit. confused? at how like. suddenly she seems to be spending a lot of time with maeve one-on-one now? huh when did that happen. anyway. -> and then that progressed to Feelings

the stalagmite violet was a big turning point for them in terms of the 'oh shit maybe she likes me too???' and i think that's what incited the actual confession of feelings a short while later, initiated by emma (maeve has lowkey gotten accustomed to her pining while also Subtly Attempting To Demonstrate Interest via gifts). like, that was not *immediate*, but the stalagmite violet was a pretty big push towards actually doing it

when emma is rambling to maeve about kicking gryffindor's collective ass in chapter 48, that's only a couple of days later, so they're still in this tentative zone of 'i'm picking up on signals but i don't want to assume i'm right', but i do think the confession comes not long after

will regulus notice? no. he is preoccupied. and maeve and emma's relationship also has a bit of a slow start, if that makes sense? like, there's not much difference between how they act around each other shortly before the confession and how they act around each other shortly after the confession, except for a certain subtle degree of giddiness that, as i said, regulus is not noticing aghslghsjdkfshgjdf (he has good reasons)

i may change my mind on this later if it feels more fitting, but as of right now i don't think there will be some sort of Explicit Relationship Reveal that they do, at least not for a while. it'll be more of a progression - there's the Noticing Of Mutual Feelings, which regulus has accomplished, and then there's the Noticing Of Increasing Mutual Comfort Around Each Other, which regulus has not accomplished but in fairness to him it's Quite early for that

lucinda and evan, of course, will simply be informed of the developments and not have to put the pieces together themselves

[jazy3]

Free Guy Review

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you haven’t seen the movie Free Guy (2021) stop reading right now! Drop what you’re doing and go get yourself a ticket! You’ll thank me later!

I loved this movie! I saw it this weekend for the second time because it’s that good! I first saw the trailer on YouTube a while back and then when theatres reopened a few weeks ago I saw the trailer again and my interest was piqued. I had high hopes for this movie based on the fun looking trailer, the premise, the cast, and the sense of fun and escapism that the movie seemed to embody and it did not disappoint. It’s always nice when you have high hopes for something and it meets or exceeds your expectations.

Free Guy is just such a fun and joyous movie. Never taking itself too seriously, packed with lots of heart, cool cameos, full of gaming and pop culture references, and it’s fueled by a unique concept that is well executed. There are just so many things I loved about this movie! It was a ton of fun to watch and the actors clearly had a blast making it. During the movie I kept trying to figure out where I knew most of the actors from but couldn’t place them. When I got home, I googled it and I instantly realized why. The roles are just so different and the actors embody their characters so completely you lose yourself in the film and get completely sucked in. I was honestly so surprised when I figured out what I knew most of the actors from because the roles that they’re known for are so different from their characters in the movie. Their appearances, established ages, and even the accents are so different that I literally did a double take, but that’s what makes the movie so good! Because the main actors obviously didn’t need the paycheque they were just there to have fun and it shows. I think if the situation had been different and the actors involved had been desperate for money or took the role for some other reason it wouldn’t have worked. The film would have come off as cheesy, forced, cringeworthy, or just plain bad. Free Guy is none of those things. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as ‘Guy’ a bank teller in a video game called Free City, Jodie Comer whose best known for playing Villanelle in Killing Eve as programmer Millie Rusk and her avatar Molotov Girl, Joe Keery whose best known for playing Steve Harrington in Stranger Things as programmer Walter ‘Keys’ McKey, and Taika Waititi whose best known for playing Viago in What We Do in the Shadows as the Head of Soonami Studios and the film’s main antagonist and villain Antwan. Rounding out the cast are Utkarsh Ambudka as programmer Mouser and Lil Rel Howery as Guy’s best friend and bank security guard Buddy. In a nutshell, Free Guy is about a bank teller named Guy who finds out he’s a non-playable background character (NPC) in an open-world Grand Theft Auto style video game called Free City. Guy becomes the hero of his own story after meeting Millie, the girl of his dreams, and winning fans all over the world by racking up points by being the good guy and helping others. After leveling up and helping Millie escape a dangerous situation in the game, Guy wins her over and she falls for him thinking that he’s another player. But when the world that Guy knows and all of the people in it are threatened, he teams up with Millie to save his friends before it’s too late. In the real world, Millie enlists the help of her former programming partner and best friend Keys in a race against time to stop their code and all of the sentient characters from Free City from being deleted by Antwan the developer who stole their code when the game’s sequel launches. I love that the movie had a unique premise and didn’t overcomplicate things. There are so many movies that I’ve gone to see over the last few years with such excitement only to be disappointed. For example, I loved Wreck It Ralph, but was so disappointed by its sequel Ralph Breaks the Internet. The trailers made it seem like it would take the premise of the first movie and move things into the online gaming world, and I was excited for that. Instead, the sequel left the premise of the first movie behind entirely and way over complicated the plot and the end result was extremely cheesy and disappointing. Free Guy’s strength is that it’s a self-aware movie made by self-aware people who are excellent at what they do. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, nor should it, and that allows the story to flow and the characters to feel real and genuine. The movie achieves that perfect balance between being entertaining and telling a cohesive and important story because while the movie never takes itself too seriously the people behind it are serious about what they do. This was very clearly a passion project for all involved, especially Ryan Reynolds, and it shows! As he’s spoken about in interviews and on Twitter, Reynolds called on a lot of his friends to be in Free Guy and help him out and the end result was fantastic! I loved all of the cameos! The Chris Evans cameo was by far the funniest and the Alex Trebek cameo got me right in the feels. When I saw the movie in theatres me and everyone else in the theatre gave a collective “awww” when he appeared on screen. Enlisting real YouTubers to show up as fictional versions of themselves to talk about Blue Shirt Guy’s popularity was a nice touch and you’ve also got blink and you miss it voice cameos by John Krasinski, Dwyane The Rock Johnson, Hugh Jackman, and Tina Fey. Channing Tatum appears as the avatar of player Revenjamin Buttons which for the most part was hilarious. One of my few criticisms of the film is that they went a bit overboard the avatar’s antics as Guy and Buddy are attempting to leave and it got bit a cringeworthy. But I know other people found it hilarious so to each their own. I love all of the little details and references in the movie. Just listing them all would be a post in itself. If you’re someone that loves pop culture references and Easter Eggs this is the movie for you. The characters are fun and believable, and you get attached to them quickly. The actors commit completely to their roles which is makes the humour, romance, and heartfelt emotion of the film work. You buy it. 100%. Something that I absolutely loved was that the characters felt realistic and that the dialogue, attire, and settings for each character really felt authentic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a movie or TV show and walked away thinking, “The person who wrote that clearly never meet a kid, teenager, or twenty something in their life! That was so unrealistic.” The slang’s all wrong. The dialogue is so eloquent everyone sounds like they did Shakespeare in the Park last summer. You walk away thinking, “What the hell was that? No one talks that way!” What I loved about the characters in Free Guy is that they felt like real people you could actually run into or walk past on the street. I’ve read in interviews that in addition to the written dialogue the cast did a lot of ad-libbing and improvisation and the end result is both hilarious and relatable. The dialogue feels real because it is. The big exception to this of course is Antwan who is altogether off the wall and ridiculous. Antwan is such an outrageous, absurd, vulgar, and cartoonish character. He’s so fun to watch and the actors clearly had a lot of fun with his scenes! I’ve read that a lot of his lines with Keys and Mouser were improvised and I believe it. When he goes all Jack Nicholson on the servers? Lord. He’s such a great villain to watch. The characters that are established to be in their twenties like Millie, Keys, Mouser, and the other employees at Soonami Studios talk, act, and dress like they’re in their twenties. The actors that are in their forties are styled to look like they’re in their thirties and honestly, they’re in such great shape it works! I mean I was honestly shocked to find out Taika Waititi’s real age. I love how the costuming really fits each character and allows you to learn more about them. Keys’ clothing is your typical gamer chic which makes because as we learn from his interview with Millie coding is his life and what gets him up in the morning. From Mouser’s clothing we learn that he’s a sports fan, but also isn’t afraid to take risks like with that blazer ensemble he wears in his final scene at Millie’s apartment.

Millie’s clothing shows the contrast between her and her avatar Molotov Girl, and Antwan’s ridiculous coat enhances the overall wackiness of his character. Guy’s clothing tells us something too. He wears the same thing every day until he meets Millie in the game at which point, he starts deviated from his Free City programming and chooses a different blue shirt. I also really love that they put thought into why Keys needs to wear glasses. Something I noticed on rewatch is that Keys is far sighted which is why he has his glasses on when he’s looking at his laptop or computer and sometimes when’s talking to other people, but not when he goes to see Millie at her apartment or when he goes to get them coffee at the end of the movie. Another interesting aspect of Keys’ character that I noticed on rewatch is self-confidence is really something he struggles with in contrast to Millie and Mouser who are very confident. Millie is a genius programmer and Mouser is excellent at what he does, and they are both very confident in their coding abilities, but Keys isn’t despite being every bit the genius that Millie is. At the beginning of the movie when they first notice the issue with Guy Mouser jokes that Keys needs to be better at his job. In response Keys meekly says he thinks he’s pretty good at his job and trails off at the end. Mouser is just joking around, but because Keys lacks self-confidence comments like that hit him hard. Mouser is moving towards his own desk as he talks so he doesn’t notice how self-deprecating and uneasy Keys’ response is. In the interview from the indie games conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment, he brushes off the interviewers comment that he’s a genius and says Millie is the real genius because she created the AI engine and he just wrote the code to make it work. Later on, when Keys helps Millie get into the stash house, she calls him a genius and he tells her that as he’s currently sitting on a toilet stealing user code he doesn’t exactly feel like one. Millie responds offhandedly that he never does, but luckily, she knows better. When Keys realizes that Millie was right, and that Antwan did steal their code and their game worked he tells Millie they need to celebrate because once everyone sees their build she’ll be celebrated and she could win a noble prize. Both Millie and Keys are geniuses in their own right. The game wouldn’t have worked without both of their skills and Guy wouldn’t have come to life without both of them working together. Millie’s AI engine made his sentience possible, but Keys is the one who gave him hopes and dreams so that when he met Millie in the game, he came alive. When done right the settings we see tell the story just as much as the characters do and I love how realistic the settings in Free Guy look. The floor at Soonami Studios where Keys and Mouser work looks like a real office and I love that the desks have clutter and personal effects on them like real cubicles do and that they show Keys taking a box of his stuff with him as he leaves. The lobby with the moving water videos and Antwan’s massive but largely empty office fits perfectly with the obnoxious, zany, and over the top character that he is. I also love the contrast between Keys and Millie’s apartments and how those settings tell us a lot about each character and where they are in their lives when the film starts. When Keys comes home from work to find that Millie has broken in, we see that he lives in a stylish one bedroom apartment with an open concept kitchen full of stainless steel appliances, a large living room centred around an expensive wall mounted TV and entertainment system, with his computer and gaming station set up in the corner. On the walls we see artful clusters of black picture frames, through a partially open door we see a bedroom off to the side, the apartment is full of black and white furniture including a plush couch and nice lamps, and features a textured silver accent wall. All of which makes the fact that Millie managed to break in even more impressive because it is clearly an expensive apartment in a nice building. Keys’ style is minimalist and upper scale and based on what we learn about the events that took place before the start of the movie this indicates that Keys got the apartment and all of the nice stuff in it using the money he received when Antwan bought his and Millie’s game. In contrast, Millie lives in a bachelor apartment and spends her time in coffee shops ordering one single black coffee over four hours. This tells us that she kept her original apartment that she had from before the game was sold and is living off the money she got from the sale while she spends all of her time trying to find the proof she needs to win her lawsuit. When we see Millie’s place, we find that it’s cozy, full of plants, throw rugs, quilts, and comfy furniture. She’s got a bike in the corner, you can see her bed from the centre of the room where she’s got her computer and gaming station set up adjacent to the coffee table and the rest of the living room furniture. Her kitchen is smaller and full of wooden cabinets and her bathroom door has DIY multicoloured square panels on it. Keys and Millie’s apartments are very different and through these settings we see the contrast between where these characters are in their lives, their wealth, and their personal style. The song ‘Fantasy’ by Mariah Carey is featured heavily in the film and is guaranteed to get stuck in your head in the best way! Jodie Comer’s cover of it is amazing! It fits the moment where Guy makes it to the island that is Millie and Keys’ original build and shows it to the world perfectly. This movie made me appreciate Mariah Carey’s music in a whole new way and I can’t be the only way. After watching the movie, I went looking for the song on Apple Music, wound up listening to the Mariah Carey Essentials Playlist, and I’ve become obsessed. I knew some of her hits, but after listening to her music more I get why people love her so much. Her five octave vocal range is amazing, and her music is just so fun to listen to. The film has a really great soundtrack overall and I’ve had many of its song on repeat since I saw it. Something I really loved about this movie and the reveal at the end that Keys is in love with Millie and is desperate for her to notice, but she’s been oblivious the whole time is that they don’t do the supposedly nice nerdy guy whose really a jerk trope. So many movies do this where you have a nerdy male character whose unluckily love, looked over, or his love is unrequited, and we’re supposed to root for him because he’s a quote “nice guy”. But really, he’s not. He’s a jerk who feels slighted because a woman in his life doesn’t love him back or notice him and he feels as if she owes him something. The scene at Millie’s place where Millie tells Keys he looks cute when he brags, and Mouser encourages him to tell Millie how he feels is super frustrating to watch but it’s so important to Keys’ character. He asks Millie out for coffee and when she turns him down to jump back into the game, he doesn’t make a big deal about it even though Mouser wants him to. Instead he gets up and goes and gets her a coffee anyway. She goes to tell him her order, oblivious to the fact that he’s memorized it, he tells her he remembers, and goes to get the coffee anyway much to Mouser’s and the audience’s dismay. This is big because Keys clearly doesn’t want to be walking down the street by himself to get coffee. He wants to be getting coffee with Millie so that he can tell her how he feels to see if she might feel the same way, but when she turns him down he goes and gets the coffee anyway because he truly loves and cares about her and he values their friendship enough to put his own feelings aside and suffer in silence rather than lose her and what they’ve built. So, he takes the opportunity to get some air rather than continue to sit there in disappointment. Which is why he’s so confused when Millie runs after him and calls out to him from across the street. He doesn’t understand what she’s doing there. She turned down his offer to get a coffee and he already knows her order so why is she there? I love that they chose to make that scene non-verbal. I think if Millie had come out and made some big declaration of love it would have felt cheesy and overdone. But her running after him and silently communicating through her smile and body language that she understood and that she felt the same way was perfect. It was subtle and beautiful and perfectly acted. It also felt realistic to the characters because in real life when you’ve known someone a really long time and you’ve spent a lot of time with them you don’t always need words to convey what you mean. What Millie wanted to express in that scene was so big and so all-encompassing she couldn’t find the words to say everything that she wanted to say so she didn’t. She just stood there and smiled knowing that being the genius that he is he would understand. It’s like Keys says in their interview, words will fail you, but code never does. His coding worked and now she understands so rather than try and say it all and fail she just looks at him and smiles to show him that she finally gets it. She finally understands what he’s been trying to say to her all this time. And you can see the exact moment Keys realizes why she’s there. The moment where he goes from being confused as to what she wants to realizing that she saw the video and she knows how he feels and that she wouldn’t be standing there smiling at him like that if she didn’t feel the same way. When I watched the scene the first time around, I was anxiously clutching my nachos the entire time because when Keys ran towards her my immediate thought was, “Oh my god he’s gonna get hit by a car and they’re never gonna get to be together! Oh my god!” But then he didn’t get hit by a car and Millie ran out to meet him and for the first time in their relationship she met him halfway and they kissed and it was beautiful! I think because Free City had so much violence in it that’s where my mind went and I’m very glad they didn’t go that route. One of my only criticisms about the movie is that I wish they had stayed on Millie and Keys just a little bit longer. They kiss and embrace and then very quickly they cut to black. I wish they’d linger on that moment just a little bit longer because I love those characters so much and in the scene that follows where Guy and Buddy are reunited we see them hug and then walk away together to start their new lives and I wish we’d gotten just a bit more time with Millie and Keys. I also really loved the parallel between the different kinds of relationships within the movie and how platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. The reveal at the end about Guy being Keys’ creation and a love letter to Millie and her realizing she’s been loving Keys vicariously through Guy and them finally coming together and being on the same page is beautiful because from the very beginning the movie is full of clues, hints, and foreshadowing that all comes together at the end. Meanwhile, we see the friendship between Guy and Buddy and how important that friendship is to him because it’s something that he created on his own. His love for Millie is born out of the programming that Keys gave him, but his friendship with Buddy is something that Guy created all on his own of his own volition. Which is part of what makes Buddy’s death on the bridge so tragic. I cried when Buddy disappeared. Reynolds and Howery play their characters with such sincerity that his death pacts an emotional punch you don’t expect. I love that the security guards at Soonami are so moved by Buddy’s heroism and are so captivated by what’s happening with the live stream that Millie is able to sneak past them into the server room and stop Antwan from destroying what’s left of the game. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that during the final battle after Millie gets booted from the game and Guy has to fight Dude on his own the glasses he’s wearing are very similar to the ones Keys wears in the movie which I thought was a cool nod to Guy being Keys’ creation. This really is a movie in which you find something new every time you watch it. For instance, the second time around I noticed that the foreshadowing that Keys is in love with Millie, but she’s oblivious to it because she’s so focused on the game was really well done. In the video from the indie game conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment when asked by the interviewer about their chemistry Millie responds first and says that their friends, their relationship is completely platonic, and laughs off the idea that they have chemistry. In contrast Keys falters and is silent and then eventually says meekly that they’re just friends. Millie is looking ahead at the interviewer and to the side away from Keys as she’s laughing and so she doesn’t see Keys’ reaction. At the end of the apartment scene after Millie breaks in to ask Keys for his help, he tells Millie he cares about her and he almost says something else. It feels like he’s about to say, ‘I love you’ but then he catches himself and instead tells her that she needs to leave. When Keys visits Millie’s apartment to tell her that she was right and they’re sitting on the couch he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee and then snatches it back when he realizes he’s gotten too close. He wants so desperately to be closer to her and in his excitement, he gets closer than he normally would before realizing that putting his hand on her knee in that close proximity is not a platonic gesture. Millie is so caught up in the realization that Guy, the person she’s fallen in love with, is an AI and not a real person that she doesn’t notice. My heart broke for Keys in that scene as he realized that Millie had fallen for Guy and kissed him and was so upset about it and meanwhile, he was right in front of her desperate for her to see how much he cares. It must have just wrecked him to go home that night and realize that Guy was based on the lovelorn character he created and that Millie had fallen in love with his creation while at the same time being so oblivious to his real world affection for her. In the scene at Millie’s apartment after they’ve gotten the server from Antwan and Mouser encourages Keys to say something, I noticed on rewatch just how weak and meager Keys’ attempt to ask Millie out is. He stumbles his way through asking her to get a coffee and trails off at the end so it’s no wonder Millie doesn’t clue in that he’s trying to ask her out. And in Keys’ defence he sent her a whole video confessing his feelings for her and all of the little things he loves about her and then told her to watch it and he has no idea if she did or not. We the audience know that Millie only saw half of it, but Keys has no idea if she saw none of it, part of it, or all of it. He knows she got Guy to remember, but she’s also sending him mixed messages. One minute she’s saying he’s cute when he brags and the next, she’s turning him down for coffee to talk to Guy. From the outside it’s so obvious that Keys is in love with Millie, but she doesn’t see it because she’s always looking the other way, not paying attention, so caught up in the game, and too focused on their work to see what’s right in front of her. On rewatch one of the big things I noticed is that Keys is always on the edge of telling Millie how he really feels but he always stops himself because she brushes him or the idea off and because he’s scared of what will become of their work and their friendship if she doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a huge leap. If Millie doesn’t feel the same way it’s going to make their relationship incredibly awkward and could potentially destroy their partnership so Keys decides it’s better not to say anything or only hint at how he feels rather than run the risk of ruining everything. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that in the interview they give Keys says he thinks of himself as an author and that code is what gets him up in the morning and that he loves the ones and zeros of binary because words can fail you and let you down but code never does. At the end of the movie when Millie goes to talk to Guy in Free Life he tells her that he loves her and while he knows that’s his programming he’s realized that he’s a love letter to her and that somewhere out there in the real world is the author. Such a great callback. All in all, I can definitely say that Free Guy has been my favourite movie so far this year! Definitely my favourite movie of the summer. I went to see it twice in theatres and I’ve never done that for any other movie before. I’ll rewatch them at home sure, but I’ve never actually paid money to see something twice on my own. I’m very excited to see the sequel and my hope is that it will be just as good as the first.  Until next time.

[kissme-hs]

Tainted love: 3

Here it is!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update it but let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy it.

~Ria

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Chris Evans

Warnings: None.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Hatred is far from the feeling you felt. You were disgusted. Utterly disgusted with the man you put your trust and faith and your heart into who did nothing but took it for granted and it all into little crumbs of pain. All this time you blamed yourself for HIS actions that he not only did while being in his complete sense but knowing how wrong it is-continued doing it. The image you had of Chris in your mind now vanished, the man you once thought deserved to be prayed now made your stomach churn because of how shameful he turned out to be.

After sending him the text you thought, oh you thought that he would realize what he lost, that he would feel a little bit at least of regret in the back of his head but you were so wrong. It not only made you feel worthless but made you realize instead how your love meant nothing to him, how all those years you spent in each other’s arm vowing to each other to be in love until the end of time was nothing but a lie to him. Where to you it meant your entire life.

One doesn’t stay with a person for three years not to just fuck and say I love you’s for fun. With the years the feelings grow strong and at some point, you start fantasizing marrying that person, having kids with the person, grow old with the person. But when one decides to go and cheat, putting all the years of love in ignorance and throwing it all in the pit of darkness not only everything changes but the dreams once knitted by the eyes of the one who remained faithful in love, who was the true lover gets struck by the lightening of reality. And once the dreams crashes, it becomes nearly impossible to dream again because the dreamer starts seeing the real world.

Fuck dreams.

Became your to go motto ever since you knocked on his door.

The heavy teal door opened after a few knocks as you held your breath getting yourself ready to face the man who ripped your heart apart. But instead you were met by a pair of green eyes, gorgeous eyes. She stood there in his hoodie and a pair of short showing her perfect toned legs. Her dirty blonde hair and fuller plumps would made any man lose his girl and go crawling to her. She was an absolute piece of art.

“Chris we have someone here for you” She yelled leaning back a bit so the man could hear her. She gave you a side smile as a gesture of kindness. She was aware she was a homewrecker, she knew how much Chris loved you and she also knew being a good friend she should’ve stopped him when things became a routine between them two but she couldn’t say no to him. Chris would make any women go crawling to him too. She was equally shameful for what she has done not as close to how Chris was feeling but still. So when Chris asked her to come over explaining her what happen which she knew would some day she didn’t hesitate coming over comforting him.

“i-im Samantha” she replied stepping aside letting you step inside of your his house. The smell of familiar cologne and candles hit your nostrils making you tear up from the past good memories. Gi ving her a tiniest sad smile and a nod, you stepped inside of the house. Turning your gaze up to the sound of approaching footsteps you saw the man, and oh sweet jesus you thought you’d hate him but how could you when the feeling of love was always greater than hatred. But the pain crept up when you saw Samantha walking to him and rubbing his side comforting him, though she was guilty, she still at some point enjoyed the attention Chris gave her.

Though she might have a portion of kindness in her heart she was known for breaking homes. She was used to getting in pants of men who were committed. It made her feel special; it made her feel like gold that everyone loved chasing. Especially in this case, knowing what a prize Chris’s girlfriend, you were she was over the moon. She loved how Chris was willing to give up a beautiful woman with a proper job and who had her life sorted for someone who was nothing compared to you.

“Y/n” he breathed out ignoring the woman rubbing his arm. His eyes getting wet seeing your face after days. Jeez only if he could kiss you and tell you how much he missed you and loved you.

“I-im sorry, I’m so sorry” He said walking to you as you raised your hand telling him to stop, which he understood nodding his head and taking a step back. He felt the ache in his heart.

“He really is sorry, he told me everything after you texted him so I came running” Samantha uttered rubbing Chris’s back. It did nothing to you but made your blood boil as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to say something which could hurt her feelings. Opening your mouth telling her to leave you heard Chris say that instead.

“Can I ask you to leave please?” He asked her taking a deep breath trying not to yell either.

“I-“

“Get out, get off my property” you spat. You and Chris jointly brought this house so you wouldn’t feel a burden on him being the independent woman you were. Feeling like she was shamed in front of two successful people, Samantha gathered her stuff and left within the next coming minute. Though you were a softie, there was no doubt you has a powerful side too.

“I’m sorry baby, I am so sorry. Please give me a second chance.”

“Why Chris? Why did you cheat on me? Was my love was not enough for you to sleeping with her. Tell me Chris did you not feel a little bit of shame fucking on OUR bed? Tell me why did you have to go and do that making me look like a fool? Why did you waste my time? WHY DID YOU FAKED THE LOVE if you wanted to cheat?” You finally let it out. You were crying at this not giving a fuck. He deserved to see how broken he left you. You were not going to act like everything was fine, like you didn’t care when you felt dead inside.

“No. No baby. Never for once I ever faked my love for you.” He cried cupping your cheeks-you finally let him touch you because you wanted to feel his warmth on your cold skin. His own eyes crying as you sobbed yourself.

“I-I don’t know why I did that. I don’t know why I decided to chase a rock when I had the most precious diamond. She is nothing compared to you. Nothing. I love you so much” He whispered resting his forehead against yours. You knew deep down he meant what he said. You felt the words hitting your body making your knees go week but it was for the best. The separation. So pushing him back slightly you gathered your broken pieces up.

“I just came to tell you that I am moving to California. I will always cherish the good memories you gave me” you gave him a broken smile wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

“No please give me one more chance” Chris pleaded grabbing your hands. His defeated eyes begged yours to give in, to see that he wasn’t lying anymore. That he was truly sorry for what he has done but being the strong headed woman you are, you shook your head and wiped his tears with your hand before cupping his cheek.

“It’s for the best. I still love you, but it’s not the same Chris. Let me let you go”

That was an year ago. An year ago you left the man standing on his porch as you turned your back on his forever, making your way to the new life that waited ahead of you in Los Angeles. The city of angels. The city that gave you a chance to put your words into songs, let your shattered voice sing it in a melody helping you reach out to him without reaching out to him.

And today you stood in front of over 100 amazing successful celebrities who warmly welcomed you in the family of Hollywood and decided to join you for your album launch party. You didn’t hesitate writing down your deepest condolences you had for yourself and singing it out. Every word people heard in the songs came from the bottom of your heart. Came within the true feeling of getting lost and found again.

Getting into the industry wasn’t hard for you. You were already a known person working for Hollywood and it not only being the reason how you met Chris it also gave you an opportunity  to let your talent out. All those months you spent working hard to get acceptance by one of the music producers was the time when Chris was fucking Samantha. Only if he stayed the night you begged him to, he would’ve known it all.

Your album was dedicated to Chris. No one knew expect you. No one could know anyways.

Stepping down the mini platform where you expressed you gratitude to the audience you made your way to where the bar was set up to drink in the emotions that were bubbling up your throat from all the love you received to the pain that still ached in every nerve in your body. It was impossible to erase the memory of him fucking Samantha from your head. You were proud to you say you tried. Tried every way of escaping his face haunting your dreams every night. The feelings choking you down. The pain eating you alive. But you couldn’t.

“What you said there was beautiful.” You heard the deep voice of the man who you left standing on the door of Boston an year ago. Turning your body around, mentally preparing yourself for the wave of mixed emotions to hit you like a truck you faced his adorningly beautiful face. His beard looked fuller and his hair fluffier. He looked the same but his eyes looked dead, just like they were when you left.

“Thank you.” You gave him a broken smile.

“Can we talk? Please?” He asked you with eyes full of hope and you nodded letting him guide you out to the balcony that had the perfect view of the city. He deserved some time with you after an year of you completely blocking him out. He deserved to know that the words coming out of your mouth in the song were written about him.

“It about you, you know. The album” You said walking over to the railing looking at the illuminous city.

“I figured, I never knew you were working on something so big.” He stood beside you.

“You would have if you stayed”

“Listen, I’m not going to waste any more time. Im here to beg you back in life, I am sorry for what I have done but please give me a chance. That one year spent without you was my living hell. Everyday I prayed for you to come back but you never did and there’s no question why. I am a horrible man but I promise if you let me prove it that I am so much better than I was I wont let you down. I will love you even more than I ever have” he said with a soft voice guilt dripping with every word he spoke making you turn around to face him. His eyes glistening with tears and his hands holding each other in front of his chest.

Man was literally begging you.

“Hey you are not a horrible man.” You whispered walking to him as you put his hands down and held his one cheek in your hand. He instantly nuzzled his nose feeling your skin after days of being away from you. His knees were giving away and so was his heart.

“We all make mistakes but learning from them and moving on is important. I forgave you the minute I stepped away from our relationship. You’re nothing but still the most precious man I ever had” you said. Your own eyes picking the tears.

“then give me a chance” he spoke kissing your palm staring down In your eyes making your belly turn in knots.

“I cant. I have moved on Chris” You said breaking his heart. He breathed out biting his lower lip as he looked on. He never felt so defeated and helpless. But this is what he deserved for throwing away the best he ever had. For not respecting the beautiful relationship and woman he was meant to guard. He opened his mouth but the lump in his throat got in the way. He could just break down.

“Then let me be your friend. I just want to be in your life. Make up for what I’ve missed. Please don’t say no.” He trembled in fear you would reject him but instead you nod your head and pull him in a hug knowing he would break if you didn’t. Still knowing him like the back of your head you gave in his request hoping you could contain the emotions.

It is said, two who once fell in love can never be friends. Once in love, always in love.

So you stood there holding him, closed your eyes letting the man calm his cries. Falling back in the chakra of tainted love.

-

Tags

@captainchrisstan

@evansphnx12

@adriannajackson

[dexi-green]

Okay so the prevailing theory (that I know of) of the commercials in Wandavision seems to be that the commercials are manifestations of Wanda’s trauma, and that I 100% agree with, and Wanda is sort of subconsciously making them into these small little tidbits of tv, reducing them to something trivial that you usually ignore. Good, cool, I totally see that. However I haven’t seen a real agreement on episode 6’s commercial (which honestly gave me whiplash when I saw it and brought me back omg, I want trix yogurt and danimals). I’ve seen people interpret it as Wanda being dependent on her magic, which yes is a possibility and definitely makes sense. Here’s my theory...

Okay the Shark in the Yo-Magic commercial shows up and tells this kid he’s a loser for starving and he says that he, “snacked on yo-magic”. He gives it to the kid, dips, and the kid is left stranded, unable to open it (me too tf) possibly because he’s already so weak (he’s shaking) and then dies from starvation anyway. The thing that stood out to me immediately is what the shark says. He basically says “I’m feeding off of your magic”??? So my interpretation is that, if as we all assume, there is a higher power manipulating Wanda then Wanda is the kid and that higher power (Mephisto, Agnes, whoever) is the Shark. They manipulated her into making the Hex and now they are feeding off of her magic/energy. She is stuck on this island/in the hex, constantly trying to get at something that she just cannot get, however the idea or illusion that she could is keeping her there and making her continue to try, like how the kid continues to try to open the yogurt. Wanda and her magic is being used as a battery, a food source, for something more powerful. She is allowed to have the illusion that she is control, only so that she continues to use it. She is being drained and may be dying/losing herself in the process. Maybe this is something she is subconsciously aware of, that’s why it becomes the basis for a commercial. It’s something that is traumatizing her on some level, I mean she is being taken advantage of, but doesn’t want to face it head on, so she is trivializing it, as people tend to do.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence either that this commercial is shown during the episode where this Off-Pietro is featured heavily. Pietro who digs at Wanda for details about The Hex/Westview, and knows things that, whether he be MCU Pietro or X-men Peter, shouldn’t know (dead husband die twice? neither should know that, Peter wasn’t there and Pietro died before Vision. Peter shouldn’t have memories of Sokovia, or her magic, specifically the nightmares from AOU, and he wasn’t the one who got shot up, so why would Evan Peters be the corpse Wanda sees (1. We can only assume she saw her brothers corpse she wasn’t there when he died and 2. How INSANE would it have been if it was ATJ that flashed as a corpse for a second, that would’ve been amazing)) and just generally doesn’t act entirely like either version of Pietro, much closer to Peter, but still not exactly the same. I love Evan Peters and would do anything to see him continue this character, but I don’t know if I can say that he is 100% just Peter/Pietro in this series, or if he is, I don’t think he is in complete control of himself. He is the Shark, popping up out of nowhere, giving this kid a false illusion of hope that she will die trying to go after. (or the Shark is Billy and Tommy because they are demon spawn and Pietro is a red herring/also a part of it :/ )

[ratingtheframe]

So 2020 sucked... but the films didn’t! The top twenty films of 2020 (in my humble opinion).

AT LAST. This godforsaken year is over and as we venture into a new year, let's hope and pray that the art’s industry finds a way to build themselves back up again, in a way that is safe and necessary for them to bring us the entertainment we so crave. It has been a crazy and unprecedented year for the film industry, a year that it has never seen with losses of an estimated $5 Billion at the end of March. Some of the most anticipated blockbusters of all time had to be put on hold and postponed for hopefully next year with No Time to Die, A Quiet Place II, Wonder Woman 1984, Dune and Black Widow being a slim few that never got onto a silver screen this year. However, there is no reason to fret or relinquish the loss film has had this year, as hopefully next year once we’ve had a better understanding of this virus, these films along with many others will have their audience. Amongst the postponed releases, many films have been resilient to the virus and still managed to gain a spot in the cinema despite the circumstances. 

Christopher Nolan’s Tenet was the only multi-million dollar film to be released this year and even though the risk of release could have meant nothing for the film, it still managed to rake in a staggering $361 million, an expected profit for a film of its size. However, despite the film's success, Nolan made it clear that this shouldn’t be taken lightly and that the safety of film consumers comes before the profits themselves. 

Even though we will have to be more cautious in the cinema, films will return, once we have regulated safety measures in cinemas and film festivals to ensure that customers can feel comfortable. For now, HBO has planned to put many releases from Warner Bros. straight onto its streaming platform as well as in the cinema next year, in an attempt to prevent the spread of COVID whilst still being able show the films we’ve been craving. There’s no telling what next year will bring, what the Oscars will look like or if filming for the next Batman film will ever end, however it's clear to see that the film industry has shown resilience amongst this pandemic and will continue to do so in years to come, no matter the challenges.

Here are twenty of the films that made it to the cinema (or streaming platforms) this year, that proved the durability of the film industry during this time. 

20. Tenet directed by Christopher Nolan 

We can all agree that Chrisopher Nolan’s Tenet should be handed the award of Most Confusing Yet Entertaining Film of the Year, or ever made in fact. The sci-fi epic adventure that sees its lead (named “the protagonist) travel back in time and then forward in time and then back in time again (?)... yup, I didn’t get it either, but I’m not the only one seeing as Robert Pattinson who played alongside John David Washingston hadn’t a clue what was going on either. And he was in the film. However, despite the film's confusion, it doesn’t make it a bad or “lazy” film, for every aspect of this film from lighting, sound design, casting, direction, stunts WAS ON POINT and those elements are truly what sets this film apart. The story may have been perplexing but at least there was one. 

19. Nomadland directed by Chloé Zhao

It is such a shame that Nomadland may not get the audience it deserves due to the COVID-19 pandemic as it is a truly moving and rich film. The Nomads are a group of real Americans who’ve hit the road in various mobile homes after the Great Recession in 2008 caused millions to be homeless and redundant. Frances McDormand plays Fern, one of these Nomads and child of the road whilst the film follows her simple, yet melancholy journey across Western America.  Chloé Zhao has been tipped several times for an Oscar with Nomadland after winning the Golden Lion at this year’s Venice Film Festival. Let’s hope that if this goes onto the Academy Awards, Nomadland will find the audience it so craves. 

18. Uncut Gems directed by the Safdie Brothers 

YES, Uncut Gems came out THIS YEAR, which is an insane thought seeing as I saw the film in a packed cinema before it was released onto Netflix. The Safdie Brothers, Josh and Benny brought us Uncut Gems this year, a declining tale of a man’s test with fate and the many many second chances he gets at life, only to f*** all of them up. Adam Sandler plays Howard Ratner, a pawn shop owner and frequent gambler. This is Sandler’s best ever role and the multifaceted, gritty work of the Safdie Brothers (Heaven Knows What, Good Time) really brought something brilliant out of him. 

17. The Half of it directed by Alice Wu

The Half of It wins the Most Surprising Film of the Year. A highly credible film directed by Alice Wu, The Half of It is EVERYTHING we want and need in this world. In fact, it’s everything we kind of already have in this world, but hardly see on screen. Non white leads, queer non stereotyped relationships, unpredictable endings; The Half of It was an all rounder for me. Some may roll their eyes at the amount of diverse elements to the film and see it as a way of gaining brownie points, but why does that have to be a thing? Why can’t having active and authentic representation across all films just be normal rather than political? If anything, it should be encouraged. The story was brilliant (and made me cry) as it had so many layers to it as well as the characters.

16. 7500 directed by Patrick Vollrath

Definitely the wildcard of this list, 7500 is an Amazon Studios film starring Joseph Gordon Levitt. I’ll admit, my hopes weren’t high, but after taking the time to watch this film I was truly blown away. And who KNEW Joseph Gordon Levitt could be so deep and in tune with his emotions on screen. He plays a pilot whose plane gets hijacked mid flight. There. Enough said. I could hardly BREATHE throughout this film in apprehension of what was going to happen next.

15. Kajilionaire directed by Miranda July

2020 thus far has been the best year for female filmmakers. From Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Josephine Decker’s Shirley, Rose Glass’ Saint Maud and Miranda July’s Kajilionaire, a clear cut foundation has been carved effortlessly for female filmmakers this year. Miranda July’s Kajilionaire especially rocked my senses a little as I saw so much unfamiliarity yet beauty within this film. A simple storyline that follows Old Dolio (Evan Rachael Wood), a young woman trying to feel more connected with her parents. A certainly bittersweet tale that has this rose tinted like vibe to it that attaches itself to the visuals and music of the film, that make everything feel light and playful. This contrasts well with the story itself as being sad and melancholy, further proving the fact this film is more than face value. Face value films have never gotten us anywhere and its films that go beyond entertainment that truly last in the industry. 

14. Bombshell directed by Jay Roach 

Bombshell is a PERFECT title for this film; a film that left me angry, sad and questioning the immorality that is still prevalent in the mostly male dominant society we live in. Charlize Theron, Margot Robbie and Nicole Kidman (best trio ever) star as three news anchors on Fox news whose lives are brutally torn apart when the Head of Fox News, Roger Ailes is accused of sexual harassment on many different occasions by female members of the workplace. Despite the silence being now broken, these three women still face a whole load of other problems that come in speaking up against a powerful, white and rich male. Threats of permanent job losses, victim blaming and a weak image are the consequence of speaking up about sexual assault as a member of Fox news. The brand itself has an incredibly misogynistic view of women and continues to have an idealised image of how women should be on the news with those working at Fox actually admitting it brings in viewers. Women with tons of makeup and dresses shorter than is comfortable is Fox news and Bombshell went above and beyond exposing this scandal that truly shook American broadcasting forever. 

13. Borat Subsequent Movie Film directed by Jason Woliner 

Borat Subsequent Movie Film wins the award for Most Jaw Dropping Film of the Year, as its protagonist and creator Sacha Baron Cohen, went above and beyond to show us the true dark depths of America. Ballsy, outrageous, jaw dropping, scandalous; every bold word can be used to describe this film and the lengths it went to get right to the heart of American society. The ugly heart. By now you should be aware that the ex president’s attorney was shoved right into the firing line after he was taken into a hotel bedroom by a reporter who happened to be an actor. Rudi Gulliani was left red faced after Borat bursts into the hotel room proclaiming the young reporter is his daughter, with Gulliani still unaware the entire outrageous event had been caught on camera. And not just any camera. A MOVIE camera. A true triumph in free speech and comedy, Borat Subsequent Movie Film will live on forever as the most outlandish film there is.

12. Miss Juneteenth directed by Channing Godfrey-Peoples 

A real eye opener into current American society using a touching story between mother and daughter as a backdrop. Turquoise is a single mother struggling to get by and support her daughter Kai through the Miss Juneteenth pageant, held annually in Fort Worth, Texas. A real competition, the Miss Juneteenth pageant promises one lucky young woman of colour a full scholarship to a black historical college of their choosing. Turquoise desperately wants this for her daughter as it’ll give her the opportunities in life she never had. A truly moving and authentic film, this scored 100% on Rotten Tomatoes which is a highly impressive and deserving score.

11. The Trial of the Chicago Seven directed by Aaron Sorkin

Aaron Sorkin’s lyricism in words was again brought to us on screen this year with his depiction of the Chicago 7 (eight if you count Bobby Seale); seven men who were accused and put on trial for eliciting the Chicago riots of 1968. When in actuality, the police themselves had more to do with riling up the protestors than anyone else, even pushing a crowd of protestors through the front window of a restaurant to make it seem like they had vandalised the property. If anyone was going to make such a film, Sorkin would be the one to do it as with any event or idea he covers, Sorkin’s words as a writer MAKE YOU CARE. Even when you had no recollection or understanding of something, the way Sorkin depicts these events on screen has you absorbed into the story till the last second. An incredible and powerful story and a film that I could constantly go back to in order to learn about the injustices of American politics.  

10. The Devil All the Time directed by Antonio Campos 

I feel like The Devil All the Time still hasn’t got the recognition it deserves. There is something incredibly powerful and priceless about having a group of exceptionally talented people come together to create something for screen. This film wins Best Casting of the Year (if you don’t count Dune) as the likes of Tom Holland, Robert Pattinson, Eliza Scanlen, Sebastian Stan, Bill Skarsgård,  Mia Wasikowska, Harry Melling, Riley Keogh, Jason Clarke and Haley Bennett graced our screens in this dark and ominous tale. Any story that is set in a small town and is about stories interweaving is bound to be interesting and thought provoking in it’s telling, with this adaptation being no different. The star of the show was Robert Pattinson’s thick Tennessee accent along with his clean yet filthy character interpretation of a perverted priest. Not one line in this film was thrown away and every single moment held a weighty tension, further confirming to us each character’s downfall by the end. An amazing adaptation and something you will reeeeeally enjoy.

9. Soul directed by Pete Docter 

What was supposed to be Pixar’s second release of the year, Soul is Pixar’s most highly executed film to date. The amount of detail and care the animators and creators of Soul had taken to this picture is INSANE; insanely beautiful. With the black community going through so much this year, having something like Soul be put out to audiences shows support of this ever changing and growing movement. Even though having black representation on screen isn’t on the top of everyone’s priority list, it’s still important that the effort is there in order to really show what the world is like on screen and to cater to more audiences. Soul itself had everything; diverse, three dimensional characters, a clear and heart warming story and comedic, uplifting points that only strengthened the important message of this movie; life itself.

8. The Lighthouse directed by Robert Eggers 

Again, another film that came out right at the beginning of the year, Robert Egger’s The Lighthouse was a whole new world that we had never seen before. Shot on a Panavision Millennium XL2 using a lense from the 1930s and black and white film, The Lighthouse was a decrepit, eerie and brilliant movie to watch throughout. It just makes me satisfied as a viewer when a director not only creates a film, but creates one that is so beyond anything we’ve ever seen and could likely have been made in an entirely different era altogether. Robert Pattinson KILLED IT in his role as a surly drunken sailor alongside Willem Dafoe, whose Irish accent was enviable. Overall a highly executed film that exudes brilliance and a creative mind.

7. The Hater directed by Jan Komasa 

I would say The Hater is the second wildcard on this list. It’s a Polish drama that hasn’t had a lot of rep in the media, however, this doesn’t detract from the film’s execution and drama. A real downfall story that sees a jealous ridden man go from a media intern into illicting terrorism. Like, HELLO how does one go to such an extreme? The only way to find out would be watching the film...The film really spoke to the dangers of social media and the ease of getting someone to insight violence onto someone else, all through a computer. My mouth was hanging on the floor during several moments of this film and I can 100% guarantee the Netflix film will have the same affect on you.

6. La Belle Époque directed by Nicolas Bedos 

La Belle Époque (or “The Good Times”) wins the award for Most Heart Warming Film of the Year. A surprisingly unique concept that follows a man trying to relive the best moments of his past after his wife wishes to divorce him. A company that specialises in creating your past memories offers him the opportunity to go back to the time when he and his wife first met, using actors, set design and music to recreate the moment. The French film emits a strong sense of nostalgia throughout with brilliant music and set design. It’s just one of those films that heavily expresses the idea of “what if” within a film whilst answering it boldly through its unique story.

5. Ema directed by Pablo Larraín 

Ema took me a few days to fully absorb and appreciate as an experimental film, rather than one with a clear cut narrative. It's a film that expresses an idea, a feeling as opposed to a story which is completely okay and doable in this day and age. Ema is a liberating, freeing and psychedelic world of a film, with the message of the film being wrapped up in Ema’s attitude as a woman and the way she sets fires to things wherever she goes. Literally, as the opening sequence is of her setting alight a basketball hoop. There is some strong, vivid imagery within this and the MUSIC...definitely the best sound track I’ve heard this year. Ema’s in my top five for its uniqueness, rawness and the weird sense of liberation it gave me after watching it.

4. Saint Maud directed by Rose Glass

Probably the biggest breakthrough film of the year and despite the pandemic, Saint Maud certainly got the rep it deserved. An entirely new perspective of horror was brought to use in troves in the form of this Irish film created by first time director Rose Glass. I cannot express how brilliant and revolutionary Saint Maud was for its simplicity, story and filmmaking techniques. An ambitious and all round brilliant film that sits prettily in my top five films of the year.

3. Portrait of a Lady on Fire directed by Céline Sciamma

Portrait of a Lady on Fire wins the award for Best Foreign Language Film and it still hurts to think it never even made it to the Academy Awards this year. One of the most moving and earthy films that I’ve seen this year, Portrait of a Lady on Fire is a slow, sensual and ambiguous picture that shows a love story between two women through the form of art. I became quite obsessed with the music of Antonio Vivaldi after seeing this as the time period and music intertwined really well in this film. Exceptionally made and incredibly raw, Portrait of a Lady on Fire went straight for the heart in this film by also putting the grievances of love at the forefront of this film. 

2. Parasite directed by Bong Joon Ho 

You are probably extremely bored and tired of hearing of the success of Parasite as a breakthrough picture, however there are an abundance of reasons for it! Winner of Six Academy Awards including Best Picture, Parasite really pulled the rug beneath the Academy Awards feet and certainly proved that no matter your race, it's the story that sells and that will bank you an Academy Award. A wonderfully crafted story, one that could have been found in theatre or even opera and those sort of structured narratives are what really grab people’s attention. 

1. Another Round (Druk) directed by Thomas Vinterberg 

And finally, my favourite, Most Enjoyable Film of the Year had to be without a doubt, Thomas Vinterburg’s Druk, which I had the pleasure of seeing at the BFI London Film Festival this year. The theatre-like structure of a narrative has been implemented seamlessly into this film and even if structure means nothing to you, you can feel when a film has been crafted differently to bring about a dynamic and earthy narrative. I’ve previously watched two films of Vinterberg’s; Festen and The Hunt and even though those two films hold a high rating, Druk is definitely Vinterberg’s best film yet. Extremely entertaining whilst also carrying a rather dark side to it, Vinterberg sells you the best and worst of two worlds whilst exposing the effects of alcohol consumption. 

And that’s it! 2020 in films! If you agreed or disagreed with anything on this list or think something else should’ve made the list that came out this year, be sure to leave me a comment on this post or via instagram on @ratingtheframe. It’s crazy to think that this obsession of mine turns two years old next year and there are still so many amazing pictures to be seen! And as always, you will find each and every one of them right here on @ratingtheframe.tumblr.

Bring on 2021!

[angelkurenai]

Worth it - Sebastian Stan x Reader

Title: Worth it

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: None

Prompt: hey, do you write for sebastian stan? because if so, here’s my request: sebastian say on a talk show that he have a crush on a singer and would love to meet her, and her manager contact him to be in her new music video! if you decides to write it, thank you x

“Speaking of- of fans and how passionate they can get about something, I think we can all agree that when it comes to finding things, no matter how hidden, they're masters at it, right?” Conan asked, pausing for a moment as the audience cheered and clapped, he looked at Sebastian who nodded his head with a small laugh “Like, the FBI should just fire all their staff and hire fans because they put even Sherlock Holmes to shame!”

“You can't hide a single thing, if it's out on the net.” he said “And they're fast too! Sometimes I have to spend hours looking for the most simple thing, like a good recipe for pasta, and you'll see them dig up tweets from ten years ago in five minutes!”

“I know right?” Conan laughed a bit “I mean, personally I don't mind to be honest. But it's like, before you know it,videos of you from the '90s come up on your feed again and the naked pictures you took in the 2000s reposted again for everyone to admire your-” but he stopped, giving a look to the audience who cheered a little bit too loudly, some even laughing “Oh you sick per- I didn't mean that!”

“You-” Sebastian tried to hold his laughter, frowning as if to look more serious “You're talking about yourself here right?”

“I-” Conan stifled a laugh “Well, yeah. I usually embarrass myself and not the guest unless you have something to share with us now Sebastian.”

“I-” Sebastian cleared his throat, shaking his head “No, I'm good. I think I'm good, no need to give Mackie more info. Although I feel like after this interview-” he couldn't help but crack a smile “My social media accounts will be... attacked to say the least. Who knows what they'll dig up.”

“Now that you've mentioned it, well technically I did but it's easier to blame you because I can't lower myself any further than I already have in this show-” Conan pause, once more narrowing his eyes at the audience who laughed “Whose side are you on?” he shook his head dramatically “Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, remembering our sinful pasts.” that earned more laughter from both the audience and Sebastian “And speaking of that, I wanted to tell you, that there is this account that's called “Sebastian Stan doing things.” are you aware of that?”

“I mean, yeah, it's called my life.” he said with a small smile, earning a chuckle.

“There are accounts like this for other celebrities and while we were going through this account we noticed one major difference from the other ones: It was filled with posts of you that were actually very rare. According of course to the comments because it's not like we stalk you or your social media or anything. I definitely don't have posters of you shirtless around my room or anything.” Conan scoffed, shrugging casually and earning more laughter, continuing after a couple seconds “But there was this particular video of an interview of you and during that interview you got to talk about uhm your favorite singer...?”

It ended mostly as a question only meant to ask Sebastian in a way if he remembered it. It certainly didn't take more than half a second before the man was laughing in embarrassment, head hanging low as he could feel the nervousness settling in. Maybe he couldn't remember the entire interview per se so he couldn't remember if it was as embarrassing as he feared – not that he had much hope, he had been told plenty of times by his friends that he lost control when it came to you and his obvious admiration for you – but that didn't mean that this one wasn't going to be. If anything he was 100% sure that this one would be even worse. But he nodded his head anyway and spoke.

“I uhm. Yes, yes I think I know which one you're talking about.” he said, finally looking Conan in the eyes.

“Well-” the man couldn't hold back a laugh at the silent plea in Sebastian's eyes to not speak up further because it honestly was too funny and in the end spoke again “It's good thing, really, because I was watching it and I have to say this, that I realised early on, you are a big (Y/n) fan, aren't you?”

“I'm... somewhat.” Sebastian cleared his throat and avoided eye-contact only because he knew that was a big fat lie that anyone could see right through.

“Somewhat? Alright, let's- How about we take a look at a small clip of the entire thing, yes?”

“So the Grammys happened last night and you guys didn't mis on the opportunity to do a live. Anthony let me tell you that Beyonce can't compare to you.” the interviewer looked at Anthony and Sebastian who laughed “You singing along to her will forever be remembered. Just like Sebastian's own mini concert. One we didn't really expect, to be honest, because you seemed to know the lyrics real well. Given that it is (Y/n)'s newest song. I wonder, is there even a moment you hesitated?”

“Oh sister you've seen nothing. The real question should be: Is that how you're on a daily basis? And I'll tell you, calmly: Fucking hell no! He doesn't shut up about (Y/n) or how amazing she is, how funny and how sweet, how great of an artist she is or even singing her songs!”

“I'm not... that bad. It's not like- I mean it is mostly the shower!” Sebastian defended himself “And besides that, she isan incredible artist! She puts her heart and soul into every song and, come on, you saw her performance too! (Y/n) nailed it and she was worth every grammy and every win of last night.”

“The neighbors ain't gonna think so, though.” Anthony muttered “very time she won, you'd hear Sebastian nearly screaming 'Yes!' at the top of his lungs. Don't deny it, don't! Just don't even try to, I have proof and I'm sure the entire neighborhood will come to as witnesses to the court.E”

“Is that so? Well, interesting to know. See, I was actually going to ask you Sebastian: what was the most say memorable moment and, say, your favorite one but I'm guessing it's-”

“(Y/n)” he laughed a bit shyly after his too-fast-and-honest response “I mean-” he shrugged a bit “(Y/n) is simply, how can I say it, (Y/n). And she's incredible, it's impossible to not be in awe and not to admire the woman simply for who she is and for how wonderful she is as a singer too. She manages to make people, me included, feel so many things with the way she sings, her words and voice could just as easily be out of this world. And it's not just her voice, there is all this raw emotion coming out on her face, in her eyes, as she sings that you can't help but feel it too as you get pulled in. I mean, even her videos can leave you speechless, easily compared to some of the greatest movies I've seen. I swear I've cried more times during her songs and videos than I have ever before in my life. She's got this-”

“Friendly advice: Stop him here, he could go on for hours. He has done it before!” Anthony warned.

The interviewer laughed and nodded her head “Noted. So Sebastian, I'm taking it you could also say you're a fan then?”

“I'm-” he looked carefully at the camera “... Maybe? Well, yes, obviously yes. Alright.” he ended up adding after a good few seconds of silence “Gosh I know that if this ever gets out on the net, I'm not gonna hear the end of it from my friends.”

“I might be playing a dangerous game here but, may I ask why?”

“And that-” Conan paused for a moment to let the crowd applaud “Is only the beginning. We don't have much time but the interview kept on for much longer, yes? And you get to talk about her and your admiration for much much longer, correct?”

“Yes.” Sebastian cleared his throat nervously “That would be the case, yes. See although we were also talking about the movie too, she was mentioned many times because it was relevant to the topic.”

“Yes, for you. Because, and I say again I've watched the whole thing, Anthony was speaking about the movie too but he didn't bring her up every 5 seconds.” he looked him dead serious in the eyes, which earned a nervous awkward laugh from Sebastian and laughter from the audience.

“Come on man, it-” he chuckled, head ducking almost shyly “I wasn't' that bad. Just give me a break.”

“But I'm not even exaggerating here! People will think that just because I'm a drama queen that I'm somehow making things up but, and the video is up now on channel for you to watch, I'm completely serious. Do you- See you spoke a lot about her and clearly had a lot to say about her, we don't blame you. Who can? (Y/n) is indeed incredible and an amazing singer. But do you know how many times you said her name for real?”

“Uhm.... no?” he asked slowly “I- I think it was plenty of times because I'm a big fan, I can't help it-”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Conan teased him, unable to hold his laughter “I would have never guessed!”

“Come on man. Stop it.” he said but only in a low voice, the awkwardness and embarrassment growing with each minute passing by. He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck “I mean-” he dared look Conan in the eyes “There are so many fans of hers worldwide, why embarrass me out of all of them the most?”

“You are our guest tonight though.” Conan chuckled “If anything, I'm pretty sure Anthony said at some in the interview – and you should all go ahead and watch it- that you are more than just a fan. He went s far as to say that she's your celebrity crush. No?”

“I-” he started but cleared his throat, shifting in his seat and look at him with a tight smile.

“And the fact is also verified by Chris Evans in another interview, which our amazing staff found. That one by chance, mostly, but it was well worth it.”

“By chance. I'm starting to believe both Mackie and Evans pushed those videos forward to you or something.”

“We shall forever wonder.” Conan chuckled “But besides that, crush or not – a question you skillfully voided answering – you are quite the fan. Yet you don't know how many times you mentioned her, at all?”

“No, no of course I didn't keep track. Seriously I have no idea.”

“Really? Because, Sebastian, you said her name 18 times.” he paused only for two seconds to let the crowd cheer and applaud while Sebastian laughed even more nervously than before “Like, I kid you not, I counted. I even made the rest of the staff count. It was 18 times. In just one interview. What do you have to say about that?”

“Well... I might be a really big fan?” he suggested slowly and with a smile that could only be described as awkwardly cute but it did the job of making the crowd laugh.

“You might Sebastian. You might.” Conan laughed “But seeit surprises me that, you are a celebrity yourself, you're well-known and famous and really successful and despite having all that and despite being such a big fan, despite admiring her for years, you have yet to meet her, correct?”

“Well, seeing how I am still alive, I have not met her yet no. Though, as everyone that knows me is already well aware of, I'd really love to one day. Will I survive to tell the story? Probably no, but it will be worth it.”

Was it worth it though?

He kept asking the same question to himself over and over again ever since he got the phone call from his manager. And with it being two days now and the interview having been three days now, he couldn't help but feel like this was not real. It could not be, he had to be dreaming and yet try as he might to wake himself up he couldn't do anything about it. Maybe the way his stomach was tied in knots and his heart was beating so hard and fast, threatening to break free from his ribcage, and the way his mind felt so lightweight as if he couldn't even think straight was enough proof that this was very much real as much as it was a torture. A torture to feel all of that, a torture to wait, a torture to watch the minutes tick by without any news and in a maddening silence of a small room, a torture to feel this anticipation without a result with each passing second. It was all of that that made him wonder if it was worth it.

And all of that that answered the question as well. He was probably being overdramatic but even if it were for him to not survive meeting you, it would all have been well worth it.

It was all well worth it indeed, and even more than he imagined, when the door was pushed opened and the first thing he saw was your sparkling eyes, almost widening at first, and the beautiful albeit shy and nervous smile that got only bigger when you saw him.

It was all well worth it when you spoke to him, voice low and soft, sweet as honey “Oh gosh, I can't believe this is happening. I'm-” it was all well worth it when you laughed sheepishly “Hello, it's great to meet you at last! I'm (Y/n).”

It was all well worth it when he reached for your hand and took it in his with murmured words of his own and a smile that made his cheeks hurts. It was all well worth it when he felt that skip in his heartbeat.

[cnrmrphy-blog]

life as we know it

title: life as we know it paring: (eventual) connor murphy x fem!reader  fandom: dear evan hansen  warnings: slight cursing  summary: a mishap with a printer led to what one would probably call a serendipitous encounter.  author’s note: uh, hi!  this is the first thing i’ve written in years, holy shit.  also, this is 100% going to be a self indulgent series like a sitcom of sorts, i don’t necessarily care enough to think of a legit plot atm.  enjoy! 

--

This is bullshit.  Absolute, fucking bullshit.  

You sped walked through the maze of hallways that all looked the fucking same, cursing the universe and whatever god was in charge of it for everything that had to align to bring you to this moment.  It was supposed to be a simple essay.  

“Good luck honey!  The first day is always the easiest!  And it’s senior year!  How exciting!” 

Yeah, okay.  Your mother knew jack shit about high school apparently.  

You sighed.  It wasn’t her fault.  You just can’t find your god forsaken summer assigned essay that you needed for your next class to make a good first impression. Besides, isn’t it a grade or something?  Who assigned an essay as a grade before school even started?

You laughed.  This was bullshit. 

After a few more minutes of walking, you saw a familiar door at the end of the hallway.  A little sigh of relief exhaled from your chest.

 Ah, gotcha!

You walked into the library and glance around.  There was no one in here except two other boys who were talking to each other at the other end of a row of computers, near a printer.  You paid them no mind as you chose the farthest computer away from them and sat down. A few clicks of the keyboard and a message on the screen reading that a few cents were going to be taken out of your school account later and you were waiting for your essay to print. 

“So!  Um, what happened to your arm?” 

You looked up.  One of the boys, a tall one wearing all black with a messenger bag (with some pretty sick buttons, you weren’t going to lie) slung over his body, shuffled his feet and unsurely pointed at the other boy’s arm.  The other boy, wearing a blue polo and khaki pants, fidgeted with his hands and wouldn’t meet the other kid’s eyes.  The whiteness of his cast was almost blinding, the poor guy.  You bit your lip with sympathy. 

“Oh—I, um, fell out of a tree, actually.” 

“Fell out of a tree.  Well, that’s just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, oh my God.” 

“I know.” They both chuckled, but looked like they were at a loss of what to say next. 

You cringed a little bit.  Those boys are the most awkward people I have ever seen, Jesus Christ. 

You didn’t want to eavesdrop.  You really didn’t.  But they weren’t exactly quiet, and what else were you supposed to do?  They’ve piqued your interest. 

“Um, no one’s signed your cast.” The boy wearing black vaguely gestured at the other boy’s cast.  

“No, I know.” The boy in question seemed to shrink into himself, and it kind of broke your heart. 

“Well, I’ll sign it.” 

The pang in your heart crawled up your throat.  That’s actually really sweet.  

It was clear they weren’t friends, but that guy volunteered to sign anyways.  Shit, you wouldn’t mind having friends.  Maybe you should introduce yourself?  Offer to sign the other boy’s cast too?  It would be a great ice breaker after all, and they look like they could be your friend, just maybe— 

Wait, girl, you gotta focus.  Where’s your essay?

Right.  You glanced at the printer next to you only to see that it was empty.

...Okay.  This is fine. 

You glanced at the computer to see the message saying that the printing should be done.  

This is 100% fine.  

You sat back in your chair, sucking in a breath in order to keep from having a mental breakdown in the middle of the library.  You really didn’t need this right now.  You really didn’t need this right now. 

You helplessly stared at the screen in front of you, panic bubbling from your stomach into your throat.  You could try again. Or ask for help.  Which would be logical, right?  God, why couldn’t things just be easy for you for once? 

You looked up at the two boys again, but the mood was not the same as before.  There was fear in the boy in the blue polo’s eyes and rage in the other’s.

Uh, okay?

Your eyes took a quick glance down and saw a few sheets of paper crumpled in the tall one’s hands.  Oooh no. 

“Fuck you!” 

Well, that startled you.  He rushed out of the library and the other boy started frantically calling his name—Connor?—and ran after him.  

Your mind turned off.  You weren’t thinking.  You definitely weren’t thinking.  Because if you were, you would have just let that guy go and ask the librarian for help with your essay.  A few cents out of your account didn’t mean anything—it’s literally just a nickel (a goddamn nickel—if your mother saw you right now, she would so yell at you for your lack of common sense).

But where was the fun in common sense? 

You grabbed your stuff and rushed out after them.  You cursed quietly under your breath because you have no idea where they went, and you realized that there might be a slight flaw in your non-plan.  

Just pick a direction!  What’s the worst that could happen?  If it comes to it you can just tell your teacher that you forgot it at home or something.  

So, you went left.  You sped walked along the lockers, hoping to at least hear them, or see something… 

You turned a corner and saw a flash of a messenger bag with some pretty sick buttons down the hallway.  You picked up your pace, your shoes clapping on the ground and your bag uncomfortably thumping against your back.  You reached the end of the hallway when you heard a sharp clang echo in your ears.  

“Fuck!”

You hesitantly turned the corner to see him cradling his hand (he paints his nails?  That’s pretty cool, actually... Wait, did he punch the locker?) close to his chest, all the while clutching a bunch of papers.  

Bingo.

“Uh, hey!  Connor right?” 

He didn’t look too thrilled for you to be there.  He looked less than thrilled. Actually, he looked downright furious. 

Was now the time for this?  Probably not.  This was definitely not the time for this. 

You got yourself into this mess, girl.  Just power through, it’s fine. 

“Ah, well, it’s just, uh—Okay so I have to turn in this essay for my english class, which is next period, and like, I had a copy but I can’t find it so I figured I could just print out another one, but it didn’t come out of the printer and, like, you pulled out paper from the only other printer in the library, so… uh…” 

Ohmygod, shutupshutupshutUP you dumbass!  Just abort mission! 

Connor’s face shifted from fury to what looked like incredulousness.  Yep, you were well aware you sounded like a lunatic.  You 100% were a lunatic—what were you even doing?  Who in their right mind would do this?

You took a deep breath and powered through. It was probably fine.  “...Sorry.  You have my essay.  Can I have it back?” 

He opened his mouth.  Then closed it.  He looked like a cross between wanting to beat the shit out of something and wanting to ask what the hell is wrong with you.  

You would like to know the answer to that too.  

“...You’re new here, aren’t you?” Connor’s eyebrows furrowed, but they didn’t look necessarily angry.  Just a little confused.  

You weren’t expecting that.  

Your shoulders slumped.  You were really hoping you didn’t stick out like a sore thumb but you can’t win them all.  “Is it that obvious?” 

Connor’s features softened slightly.  His eyes were still cold and guarded, and his jaw clenched and unclenched as if to hold back whatever sharp words he had on his tongue.  But his eyebrows unfurrowed, and he dropped his hands to his sides.  He slumped his shoulders too, and he looked defeated. 

“Yeah, it is.” He slid down the lockers and sat on the floor.  You were still unsure, but you sat next to him.  

“Are… you okay?”  Maybe your need to go after him wasn’t so much about your stolen essay.  He looked so tired… 

Connor glanced over at you, then trained his gaze at the wall in front of him.  “Nah. Used to it though.” 

He unwrinkled the papers and shuffled through them.  he pulled out four sheets and handed it over to you, all the while keeping his focus in front of him. 

“You’re Y/N?” 

You nodded, slowly reaching out to take the papers from him.  You didn’t know what to say—there was something obviously wrong… hell, you were there when he had his little outburst in front of the other kid.  But you didn’t know him.  It wasn’t your place to say anything.  

You didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone either. 

Surprisingly, Connor spoke again, “I think I’m in that class.  I didn’t do the essay.” 

“How come?”

He clenched his jaw. “Didn’t want to.”

He glanced at the paper in his hands and tore at it, almost mindlessly.  There was a crack in his angry, tough facade (it kind of just occurred to you that it was just that—a facade.  He looked more exhausted now than anything.) 

You didn’t speak.  The only sounds in that hallway in that moment were the crinkles of you trying to smooth out your essay and Connor slowly ripping up the paper that was in his hands.  Neither of you said anything, but the silence was welcome. 

The bell rang, startling both of you.  You glanced over to see a pile that resembled hamster shavings that covered his lap and the floor.  A small piece that said Dear Evan stuck out to you.  

Both of you stood up as a cacophony of footsteps echoed through the hallway, approaching the two of you.  Connor brushed off the remaining slips of paper, which fluttered to the floor. 

“So, uh…. You wanna walk together?  To class?” He raised a brow at you and your stomach clenched.  “You—you said we had it together… It’s cool if you don’t want to!”

Wow, just wow.  This is such a great way to make friends.  Good job, Y/N.  It’s clear he wants to be alone, God. 

He looked unsure.  “You… probably shouldn’t be seen with me.  I wasn’t even planning on staying.”

“What?  You’re leaving?” Who in the world was this kid?  Why was he acting like he was diseased or something? “You have to at least wait until the second day to skip.” 

He cracked a smile at that.  It was barely there, just a twitch of the lips, but it was something.  “Okay, yeah.  Whatever.  Let’s go, you probably have no idea where you’re going anyways.” 

You failed at holding back a grin that stretched across your face.  He’s probably not wrong. 

[artificialqueens]

interlude 1.1 (Branjie) - PinkGrapefruit

A/N - before i say anything i’ve just got to say a massive thank you to Evan (formercongressman) for beta-ing this for me and Alexandria (alexandriabelle1) for pointing out i should probably get one. They’re absolute godsends.

This is a 5 time fic prompted by an anon and tbh i loved writing it so if anyone has anymore they want to send me, i’d love to hear them. As usual, Brooke is ‘him’ and Vanjie is ‘her’ just for clarity of reading and this is my interpretation and in no way supposed to be accurate or anything. Enjoy!

The 5 times Brooke kissed Vanjie to calm her down, and the one-time Vanjie kissed Brooke.

1.

[episode one]

  She’s ecstatic and god he can see why. Between the two of them, they collectively slayed the first challenge and she looks on the verge of tears. Her chest glitter is mixing with the sweat from awful studio lighting and her eyebrow might be slipping but she’s just so happy. None of it matters now.

  He pauses for a moment to watch her, and he knows that this might not continue but it’s such a beautiful sight and to never see it again would hurt. He vows to commit the contours of her face in this face at this moment to memory, so he can flick back through them like a scrapbook, discerning the good from the bad.

  She looks over to him, the twinkle in her eye a congratulation on his success, but more so, a challenge. Like she knows he’s been staring. In truth, he knows she’s been staring too. He’s sure that the producers will make them voice over these moments in sugary anecdotes and play their blossoming whatever like a fiddle for views, but he just can’t bring himself to care. Because she’s so happy.

  He takes her challenge, later in the werkroom when it’s quiet and colder and the glitter and the makeup have all washed away. They’re pseudo-alone on their couch in the corner - everyone else crowded at the other end of the room, obscured by tables or out in the smoking area absorbing the fresh air into their clogged pores. She looks at him the same way she did in Untucked, stares with her glistening eyes and starts to cry because ‘I never thought I’d get this far, I don’t know how I’m still here’. He leans in and savours the feeling of her stuttering breaths on his chin, the scent of powder and strong makeup remover that cloud her from his vision. He hyper-focuses on the crease above her lip that looks so good. He knows there are tears rolling freely down her cheeks as he places one hand to steady himself and takes another deep breath of her.

  When their lips touch it’s warm and soft and nothing like he’s ever felt before. In an instant he feels like he can see their future, he can watch like a spectator in his own life, and he lets himself melt into her as they become one to fit the contours of the couch and each other. Her breathing instantly calms, because nothing about this kiss is passion or fury or anger. It’s just sweet and reassuring and everything she needs; he’s everything she needs.

  2.

[january twenty nineteen]

  The trailer just went up and she’s terrified. He heart is pounding and her head is spinning and god she needs everyone to shut up but no one is talking. She’s locked herself in a bathroom stall somewhere in the World of Wonder building where everyone is getting set up to film their Meet the Queens live stream, and honestly she’s just praying no one finds her. She’d gotten about ⅔ through her makeup before the panic overtook her in its entirety, but it’s swallowing her whole and it’s terrifying.

  She’s uncertain still as to why this is affecting her the way that it is. It shouldn’t, of course, because she’s done it all before, but this time is just so different. The first time around she had nothing but a legacy to uphold and a quick wit. She came out of it a broken person but damn she learned. She took everything she got from 30 seconds on television and built herself a career out of it. This time, she’s come out of it with solace, dignity, and a fine looking Canadian. She has a life now, pets, and a man who takes her as she is and she loves him for it. Plain and simple, she loves him like she’s never loved another person, and the fear of losing that to the global tours and shows and flashing lights… it scares her.

  She hears the door open before she sees his shadow. It looms over the stall door and fragments like shattered glass when it hits the light. She can’t find the stability to talk, though, so her breathing carries on in its brutal staccato, harshly shallow and burning.

  He taps quietly on the door, knowing she needs space but just wanting to help her. God knows they’ve been doing this long enough now that he knows just what to do. He momentarily wonders why she didn’t just come to him, but he remembers his own excitement towards the day and knows that she didn’t want to ruin it for him. Briefly forgetting the current situation, it warms his heart to know that she thought of that.

  She doesn’t have to speak when she slowly opens the stall. He knows her well enough to be able to tell what’s going on, and she knows he wouldn’t push anyway. Instead, he just pulls her into his arms in a tight hug, tells her he loves her in actions, not words. His nose grazes her fade, breath tickling the stubble. She leans into him willingly, her own nose nuzzling at his chin. He smells like always, like cigarettes and coffee and Fenty lipsticks, and it soothes her soul like menthol and tea.  

  When their lips meet it’s not for show, for anyone but themselves. Even though they’re in the same environment that’s always exploited them, they take this moment for them. She knows that no matter what happens, they’ve still got this.

  3.

[august twenty eighteen]

It’s 3am on a warm and windy night in New York as he walks into the AirBnB they’re sharing for the week. He’s so glad that for once since they’ve returned from Drag Race they can share the same four walls for longer than a night, can let themselves be a couple again. His gig had run long and he’s angry that he’d missed her going to bed but he’s here now. As quietly as he can without waking her, he places the keys on the counter by the door, snakes into the kitchen and pours a glass of water. Sneaking back through to the lounge he rummages for a second in her rucksack to find the Advils she always keeps. He pops two out and places them next to the glass on the table. Contemplating writing himself a note (because he always questions the Advil in the mornings) he remembers that for once, he’s not alone. Tonight there doesn’t have to be a note.

  ‘Crap’ he mutters to himself as he crosses the wooden floor with a creak. He pauses. Listens.

  As he strains though, he can hear soft whimpers coming from their closed room. All attempts at silence are abandoned as he rushed to the door, pushing it open as quietly yet quick as simultaneously possible. He wants so desperately to be imagining things. He knows, quite quickly, that he isn’t.

  Brooke moves around the bed. It’s roomy when you consider the size of the apartment but they both knew the second they saw it that they wouldn’t need that much. Not when they sleep like koalas, clinging to each other til morning.

  When he realises she’s still asleep he can’t tell if he’s glad or not, but hearing her soft cries in the night breaks him. He just wishes this wasn’t her bren to carry alone. Wishes he could split the anxiety and the panicking and walk up the mountain together. Luckily he’d had the wherewithal to shower and de-drag at the venue and he’s dressed for comfort. All of this is good news to him as he drops the last of his bags at the end of the bed and slowly, carefully, sits on the edge. Swinging his legs on, he leans back so his chest is level with her head and draws her into him. She goes quiet as she burrows into his chest, so small in that moment and, as he presses a long, protective kiss to the top of her head - he promises to never let her go again.

  4.

[episode four]

  He follows her over in Untucked as she panics to herself. It’s the least he could do, he muses, as she frets over something he feels is trivial. But even less than a fortnight in, he knows not to argue or point it out. He’s all to aware that she’s experiencing this differently to everyone else, he’ll just have to accept that.

  The tension is seeping out of her and he can feel it, hot on his skin. Her body has a quiet shake to it as if she’s vibrating softly, but he knows that the sweetness of that imagery is nothing compared to what is happening. He’s seen it before in his friends. In Courtney before her first drag coven show. In Nina the first time they met. He’s seen it in himself before every performance since he was 7. But despite his exposure to it, he hates it on her. The twisted look on her face pains him as she tries to sort what she’s doing and all he can give her is encouragement, full of conviction and maybe the naivety of someone falling in love.

  ‘Out of the three of them I know you were, I feel like you were given the least harsh critiques’

  He’s hoping he said it with enough persuasion that she’ll believe him. She needs to believe him because he can’t keep watching her tear herself apart like this without knowing that he did everything in his power to stop it.

  ‘Fuck that shit’

  Her reply is short but definitive and frankly, he’d be laughing at her bluntness if he didn’t know that it was a defence mechanism. He brushed the blonde hairs from her chin, takes a moment to admire the wig on him and notes that it’s a fantastic look. The orange is, too. The whole thing is something he’ll bring up later.

  ‘Honestly they gave you like almost no negative critiques… and you were killing it with the dancing’

He feels it necessary to equivocate on his beliefs. He won’t allow her for a second to believe that he’s not 100% supportive and confident in her abilities. She just makes soft humming noises and he can hear ‘Living in America’ booming from the Apple headphones that she’d haphazardly shoved into her ears. It’s at this moment he realises that he’s not going to get anything else out of her and so he just pulls her into his arms, laying a gentle peck at the corner of his mouth, not letting his lipstick mar her cheek. She turns her head and he can see the pain in her eyes as she puckers her lips at him. He leans down and captures them, knowing that when he pulls away his lips will be tacky with gloss and glittering a pleasant gold. It looks good on her but it’s not the most subtle thing.

  As the producers call cut on the conversation they weren’t even directing, Brooke smiles to himself. He knows that they’ve just secured her safety, knowingly or not, and he’s just grateful that they will have more time.

  5.

[march twenty nineteen]

  He’s in the cab back from his gig with Nina when she calls him. It’s late there but not too late in comparison to the pitch black 4 am they can see out of the windows. Their seven-seater taxi feels too crowded, full of sweat and drag queens and he feels like this conversation will need privacy. He knows that even if it does he won’t get any.  

  She’s drunk in a t-shirt dress and a yellow waist length wig muttering about instagram stories or love and he knows she misses him. It’s evident purely from the fact she’s facetiming him on the break between her sets, in a storage closet. If that wasn’t enough, she’s spilling secrets left right and centre and if he was sober he’d be terrified, but honestly it’s so good to see her face and it feels good to laugh with her again. She holds off on the sobbing til he gets into his own room (although she isn’t shy on imitating him, screeching ‘I have two kitties’ at an ungodly pitch for Brooke’s own waning drunkenness).

  When he’s alone though, she begins to cry, it’s hard to make out on the grainy facetime that will never do her face justice for him. They use it too often to truly dislike it, but it’s not a substitute for holding each other on cold nights like these when they’re both too lonely to be alone. If he were to write a list of things he misses, he would list her at the very top, leave a few lines blank, and then write poutine. But even that was hard to miss in Canada, so really she is all he longs for and fuck it hurts. The incomparable yearning he feels burns into his very soul, and he wonders how cruel the world must be to have found him someone so perfect when they’re both required to be everywhere but together all the time.

  She brings him back to the present as she tries to blot her running foundation with a receipt she found in her pocket. He wants to reach through the screen and brush them off her soft skin himself. Even though they’ll both be together by the end of the day, it hurts that they’re so far apart now.

  They cry together, when he’s taken off his makeup and hung his outfits up nicely on the back of the door. They cry for the naivety they had when he thought they would be okay doing this. Before they’d spent weeks on opposite sides of the country. They knew it would get worse but god they hoped it would get better first because she can’t stand this anymore, and he isn’t far behind her.

  Later, when her show’s done and she’s home and it’s almost the afternoon in Canada where he is, he talks her to sleep and maybe in his fantasy he kisses the tears off her cheeks till she calms down. He places a meaningful kiss to her forehead and turns off facetime, knowing that when she wakes up he’ll be next to her.

  *

  1.

[march twenty nineteen]

  She rolls over to the sound of her alarm going off. It’s almost 3 in the afternoon, which means she has about an hour to get her ass out of bed and pick him up from the airport. She realises she may be cutting it close. In the shower, she uses up the remainders of his favourite shampoo, knows he loves how it smells when he presses his nose deep into the unruly mop of hair she keeps trying to maintain. She puts ice compresses under her eyes as she eats what can only be described as a pseudo-breakfast (because it is neither eaten at the time of breakfast nor does it contain any real breakfast foods, but it does the same job), and she almost forgets to take them off as she leaves the house. The hope is that they removed the last remnants of her crying herself to sleep but frankly, the hangover might have done that too.

  The drive is mostly uneventful, although she flips off an unusual amount of drivers in the baking Los Angeles heat. She’s bouncing in the driver’s seat by the time she arrives and she rushes into arrivals with less dignity than she afforded herself going home first because she’s so excited she might burst and her man is coming home.

  He’s hard to miss, a 6’3 Canadian ballerina in a crowded airport and his thousand bags help her to spot him almost immediately. She does a quick once over of what she’s wearing as she fiddles with the bandana around her neck, knowing it will make Brooke happy (and also so mad). It takes the very little restraint she posses not to scream when he runs over to her. Suddenly all his bags are on the ground and she’s up in the air, feet dangling, and they’re both crying again because the feeling of each other will never get old.

  She’s engulfed in the smell of that one time that he made seafood at 3am and they laid on the street til dawn. The time she pulled him into the Florida ocean when all he wanted to do was get Panda Express and watch TV. The smell of airports and long nights and coffee and menthol and shit red wine and good red wine and everything all at once. He smells like love and he smells like home and she kisses the tear tracks on his face because she fucking can.

[afaithy]

A Crinkle in Fate; Ch 5

AVAILABLE IN AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896918/chapters/39835008#workskin

Chapter 5: Some things are more than what meets the eyeNotes:

"We do not know what things look like. We know what things are like. It must be a very limiting thing,this seeing.” — Madeleine L'Engle

Days turned to weeks, and soon into months. Tonks had already gotten used to the rhythm of a Hogwarts student and she soon discovered that she wasn’t such bad student as she had anticipated, she wasn’t the first of her year, but she was among the top ones, and that gave her a small pinch of pride. If only her social skill could be improved as easily. After a month living among them, she was finally comfortable enough to chat with the other Hufflepuff girls, but the interaction was still a little too cordial; something that didn’t pass unnoticed by her dear cousin. Tonks seemed to have a strange standards when it came to choosing her friends. She had easily accepted Sirius “family” love, and she befriended Lupin almost instantly; with James she’d been a little bit wary at the beginning, but she eventually seemed to trust the boy with glasses. With Peter, she was still a little tense, as Sirius liked to note. Against all odds, Tonks befriended both Lily and Snape. The first one had been more welcoming to the girl than the later. It was more than obvious that Snape would have prefered her to leave him alone. “Seeeeeeveeeeruuuuus….” Tonks fuzzed with a -purposely- annoying voice that made Lily giggle when the boy had glared at the younger girl horrified. “What?” “Help me with this. You are good in potions….” “Leave me alone…” Snape groaned “Go tell your useless cousin…” “Sirius sucks at potions! You said it yourself!” “Then Lupin. He’s the brain in there, is he not?” “He’s busy….” Tonks pouted “Come on Severus….heeeeelp meeeee….” “No…” “Pleaaase...please...please...please...” “Agh...shut up. I’m trying to focus….” “Come on…” “No…” “Help me Severus, you’re my only hopee….” Lily giggled. She was having too much fun seeing how Tonks purposely annoying Snape and how the boy pretended to be annoyed. “Seriously...don’t you have better things to do? Can’t you go hang out with your Hufflepuff mates or something?” “That’s not fun at al. I like to hang out with you and Lily…” Tonks replied winking at Lily “Pleaaase...just help me…..” “Agh fine...let me see that.” Snape took the parchment from her and his dark eyes scanned the letters on it carefully. The pale boy raced and eye-brow and shook his head irrirtated. “It’s three times counter clockwise, and then two clockwise before you add the convallaria leaves. Otherwise it’d turn red instead of light purple…” “Ah...really? Severus...you’re a genius…” Snape rolled his eyes and turned back to his own book. “I’m not a genius...it’s common sense. Use your brain…” he mumbled. Tonks and Lily exchanged looks and giggled. “Oh no...there he comes…” Lily groaned “Potter…” “James?” Tonks said tilting her head. “Yes, he’s playing clown with Black again. Annoying…” “They can be a little goofy at times, but they’re good. It’s like Severus, he can be a grumpy pot, but deep inside he’s just a little sweetheart…” “I’m not…” “Hahaha, she might be right on that, Severus. You’re a kind soul hiding an annoyed face...” “Lily, don’t …” Snape begged. Lily and Tonks laughed again. The hooded girl turned to where Sirius and James were busy putting up a show of paper birds that flew in circles around their heads and her gaze met Lupin's, who was looking with a mixture of amusement and disapproval at his friends. Tonks smiled and waved at him enthusiastically. Perhaps a little to enthusiastically that she accidentally knocked over a pile of books that she had by her side with a loud thud. “For Merlin’s sake, Nymphadora!” Snape glared at her. “Don’t call me Nymphadora! It’s Tonks, plain and simple Tonks!” “I don’t know why you don’t like your name…”Lily asked “it is such a pretty name…” “Lily is a pretty name, Nymphadora is just ridiculous…” Tonks said picking up the books. “No, it isn’t…” a new voice muttered close to her. To her surprise, Lupin had sneaked into the seat next to her and was smiling warmly at her. “Hey, Evans...Snape” he greeted the pair. Lily replied with a smile and Snape only nodded his head at him “I find your name really nice and fitting…” “Remus...you can’t be serious. How is Nymphadora fitting at all?” “Why not?” “First...the name is just...uff; second...it’s all...girly, lady, elegant...as far as I’m aware….I don’t have any of those attributes…” “You got that right…” Snape snorted. “So no… Tonks suits me better…” “If you say so…”Lily chuckled “I still think, Nymphadora is a cute name…” “Ah...you could be my mum’s best friend then…”Tonks said dropping her head on the table with a loud thud “Let’s not talk about my name, please.” “As you wish, because I’m leaving now…” Snape said snapping his book close. “Yes, I should go, too. I promised Mirtha that I’d help her study Charms.” Lily said. “Have fun with that, Lily…” Tonks smiled “Severuuuus...don’t miss me too much!” “Who’s going to miss you, noisy girl?!” Tonks broke into a laugh. She just enjoyed teasing Snape, because she knew that despite his bitter remarks and his constant glares, Snape actually accepted her and considered her his friend. “You know...Sirius still can’t believe you’re Snape’s friend…” Lupin chuckled. “Oh, he’s being silly. Guess the Black genes still get him at times…” Tonks replied turning her head to Lupin “Prejudice...I mean. Severus is a nice boy...you just need to know him.” “I’m not saying anything…” Lupin chuckled “I don’t have anything against him, to be honest. It seems the rivalry is between him and James…” “Let me guess...Lily?” “Too obvious?” “A little, but James is silly. How does he expect Lily to like him if he keeps bullying her best friend?” “I don’t think James thinks so much into it…” “Are all boys that silly?” “I guess we can be…” “Oh, not you. I’m sure you’re the exception of the rule there…” Lupin smiled and shook his head tiredly. Tonks raised her head from the table and looked at him with a frown. Her dark eyes staring into his green ones. “You’re a little pale…” she said “Are you feeling alright?” He wasn't’t. Full moon was in three days and he was starting to feel its effects on his body, but Tonks didn’t know it, and he didn’t want to tell her if he could help it. “Oh, I’m alright. I’ve been putting some overnights...that’s all…” he said rubbing the back of his head. Tonks stared at him for a minutes, and he could tell, by her look, that she wasn’t buying his excuse. She was too smart for her own good. “Hey, are you busy?” “Now? No, why?” “I need to get this back to the library. I was wondering if you’d like to come.” “Sure. I don’t think Sirius and James are missing me now, anyway…” “Nah, they’re too busy being themselves…” she laughed picking up the books. The pair left the hall and walked to the library engulfed in a random mudane chat. They talked about the classes, the teachers and the mischief they had done recently.Tonks loved her little chats with Lupin, because she felt so relaxed when he was close, and Lupin loved his brief minutes with Tonks, because it made him feel happy. Lupin helped her put back the books and eventually, they ended up in the Muggle Literature section. It was one of the less frequented sections, and so it was usually deadly empty. “Ah...they don’t know what they’re missing…” Tonks chuckled “Some of these are really nice…” “You’ve read them?” “My dad has them in his library. I’ve read some…” “Me too…” “Oh, you like Muggle Books?” “Mmmm you could say so…” Lupin answered “My mother is muggle, so we have some of these at home too…” “Oh, well. Look at that, something more that we have in common…” she chuckled “ Oh...Fairytales by the Grimm Brothers. My dad used to read me those when I was a kid. I could never understand why the wolf was always the bad guy…” “It’s not the wolf. That’s just the Muggles misinterpreting the...role of a werewolf…” Lupin replied. The last bit had come out a little bitter than he’d intended. “Wolves...werewolves…” she replied as if it didn’t matter, her hand caressing the books in the shelves “What’s wrong with that? Werewolves are not any less people…” Lupin seemed confused at her words. Had he heard correctly? “Werewolves are monsters….dangerous and horrible monsters…” he said automatically and he saw Tonks turn to him with an irritated frown. “Oh, and how would you know this? Because it is written on books? Or because that’s why everyone says?” she replied firmly “Werewolves are still people 29 days in a month, that makes them human 348 days in a year. Just because they turn into a wolf once a month doesn’t make them monsters. The person chooses whether to be good or not, that’s not different from being normal. I mean...I’m sure there are werewolves out there that are 100 times more decent people than some wizards out there…” Lupin was left speechless. That wasn’t what he had expected to hear about werewolves. With the exception of his friends, whenever the subject of Werewolves came into conversation, the immediate response was either fear or hate; and there he was, standing in front of an 11 years old who defended werelwolves with a reasoning that could slap at any older wizard. “You don’t know any werewolves, that’s what you’re saying that.” “And do you know any?” Lupin didn’t answer. He was afraid of how she’d react if he told her the truth, but Tonks took his silence as a no. “See? Maybe if people stopped for a bit and tried to know them, understand them, they’d see that they aren’t the demons they think they are…” “Werewolves are dangerous…” “They are, as any person is.” Tonks agreed “A werewolf might bite...yes, because he is a wolf. It’s their instinct to prey, to eat...to survive. Just like anyother animal. It isn’t a crime to act according your nature; but put it like this… If the werewolf is a good person when he or she isn’t a wolf, and then dangerous when he turns just because he follows its instinct, can you really judging him? Look at that arse of Boreas, he’s a wizard...and he hurts people just because of the fun of it. Why isn’t he judge the same way? There’s a keyword there, Remus… Choosing.” Lupin didn’t know what to say. Usually he could come up with any statement that would make a werewolf, make himself, look like a monster, but as he stood there watching Tonks walking between the shelves he realized that maybe, just maybe, she had a point there. “Ah...there it is…” Tonks voice interrupted his thoughts, as the girl pulled out a book from the shelf with a smile “I feel like reading this again…” Lupin glanced at the book on her hands. The cover was brown with golden letters printed on it: Whitefang by Jack London. Their talk then switched to a lighter subject as they headed back to the Hall, but Lupin was still thoughtful; the words that the young witch had told him in the library kept replaying in his mind and later that day when he’d casually commented them with his friends, their reaction had left him in shock. “HA, I knew she’d be a werewolf lover…” Sirius laughed “Don’t ask me how. I just did…” “But isn’t that good, Moony…” James said with a smile “You now know that she wouldn’t care if she knew about your furry little problem…” “That’s not the point…” Lupin said shaking his head “That line of thinking could get her killed. Werewolves are dangerous!” “And she said it. She knows they’re are, but she also knows it isn’t their fault…” James reasoned “You’re sabotaging yourself, Moony.” “She got mad at you for bad mouthing werewolves…” Sirius laughed “I should have seen that. If only she knew she was talking to one…” “But why isn’t she afraid of werewolves?” Peter asked “I mean normal people are scared…” “Wormtail...would you stop calling my cousin a freak, for Merlin’s sake?” “He’s right…” Lupin said shaking his head “ She should, and yet she isn’t. You three were scared at the beginning…” “Maybe her parents taught her not to be scared?” James suggested. “Unlikely. You know what how wizards see werewolves.” “Then maybe she’s reckless…” Peter suggested. “Or maybe...she has a brain…” Sirius said annoyed “Moony, don’t be so dramatic. This is a good thing. Means you have another friend that won’t abandon you for what you are...so I said you shut it, and enjoy it.”

Lupin knew that there was no point trying to reason with Sirius when the boy used that tone and for the first time, he thought he’d follow his friend’s advice.

***

It was a nice night. That’s what Tonks thought when she sneaked through the main gates and walked to the school grounds. She’d always have troubles to sleep during the nights of full moon. It wasn’t that she wasn’t sleepy, but more like there was something roaming her head, a ghost worry that wouldn’t let her sleep at all. When she was younger, she would sit on her bed and stare at the moon quietly from her window; as she grew older, she realized that her sneaky night stroll helped her feel more calm. The night was warm, but the breeze kept her cool as she made her way to lake. The surface was calm and quiet; so stiff that the it almost looked like a black mirror. The view sent her a sense of deja vu once again. She had gotten used to them as she grew older, she’d casually get one every now and then when she was at home, but ever since she had come to Hogwarts, that sense of deja vu had become more and more common. “Maybe I studied here in a past life…” she giggled to herself thinking of what her dad would say if she told him. She had borrowed a couple books from the library out of curiosity, but after reading them through, she felt like some of the things they mentioned didn’t match her. Maybe her dad’s hypothesis about her past life was just a silly invention to make her laugh after all. She should have known better. Tonks strolled past the lake and made her way to Hagrid’s cabin. She knew there were Lumin fairies in the forest. Her dad told her he used to take her mum to watch them on their romantic secret dates; perhaps with some luck she would be able to see some today. She reached the edge of the forest in once piece. She had almost tripped with a large root that laid well hidden in the shadows. Maybe walking in the dark wasn’t the brightest idea, considering her innate gift of accidents, but she didn’t want to catch Filch’s attention by casting a light. “Maybe he’d think it was a will o’wisp “she chuckled “but no, the moon should be enough.” Tonks found a big boulder and sat on it staring into the darkness of the forest. She probably looked like a fool, but then again, nobody would see her, so who cared? Suddenly a soft crack made her jump and she looked into the shadows in front of her. A pair of amber eyes that seemed to glow in the dark was staring at her and she could hear a low growl. It wasn’t a threatening growl, but more like a warning growl. The kind of growl a dog would make when he wanted to be left alone. It was too dark for her too see well who the owner of the amber eyes was, and it seemed that it didn’t want to let itself be seen anyway.. “Wotcher…” she said softly. Some people would say it was stupid to talk to an animal, but her grandmother always told her that contrary to common beliefs, animals did understand and that was why she always baby talked her scottish terrier whenever Tonks was on a visit. “I mean you no harm…” she said softly and the answer was once more a soft growl “I’m jus here hoping to see some Lumin Fairies. Don’t worry, I don’t intend to invade your territory…” Silence. It wasn’t like she had expected an answer. It was a dog for Merlin’s sake, dogs couldn’t talk! “I always get a insomniac on full moons. It’s silly and I just can’t explain it, but it’s like ...I’m too restless to sleep. It’s weird because I don’t even know what’s worrying me...you see? So I have the habit of taking strolls on nights of full moon…” There wasn’t a growl this time, and if it wasn’t for the bright golden eyes that wee staring at her, she would have thought the dog had long left. “You can’t sleep either?” she asked softly “Well, I wouldn’t blame you. It’s such a beautiful night. Do you live here?” Tonks chuckled. She really was stupid if she thought the dog would answer her. “Oh, yeah...silly me. It’s not like you could answer me…” she laughed “So...if it doesn’t bother you, I’d do the talking…” There was no growl, so she took that as a good sign. “My name is Nymphadora Tonks, but I prefer to be called Tonks; just Tonks. My mum, however, loves to call me Nymphadora….” she said rolling her eyes “and she says she won’t call her daughter by her last name. My dad agrees to that. He says it’d be too hard to know which Tonks you’re addressing, but my dad doesn’t call me Nymphadora. He calls me Dora, which I think is okay? It isn’t as flashy as Nymphadora. My parents are wizards. My mum was once from a.. Very important family or something like that, but she was disowned after she ran away to marry my dad. You see, my dad is a muggle born….not sure if you’ll know what that is, but the point is...my mum’s family didn’t like him. They didn’t think he was worthy enough for my mum, of course my mum thought otherwise. So my parents ran away and got married, and they had me…” She said the last part proudly. “But because of my mum’s background, I didn’t get much friends when I was younger. From one side, the ones that were on my grandparents side saw us as traitors and deserving of punishment; and the ones that weren’t...well, they were intimidated enough to not want to have anything to do with me and my family. I know what you’re thinking, if my dad was a muggle, then why I didn’t I look for friends on my muggle side? Well, I just couldn’t….” Tonks pulled down her hood revealing her hair. It was silvery white, waist long and straight today. “I’m a Metamorphmagus. I was born one...so I can change my appearance at will, like ...this…” She focused a little and her hair began to turn black. It looked as if someone had dropped a vial of ink over her head. “Dad says it is a very rare gift, unfortunately, I don’t know how to control it well, yet. So sometimes, I change by accident. You can’t do that in front of muggles! They don’t even know that magic exist! Professor McGonagall, she’s a nice lady is teaching me how to control it. It’s helping, but I still can’t control it….at least not when it comes with my hair. I think I can manage my face. That’s why I use the hoodie…” she said covering her head again “I don’t want the other kids finding out and calling me a freak along the usual blood traitor insults. I don’t mind. It’s not that it hurts me, because I know they’re wrong, but well...I just want to have some peace and quiet, if you know what I mean. THe teachers know, so they don’t mind me wearing the hood. It’s great…” There wasn’t a growl this time, but she saw the amber eyes going lower. The dog had decided to lay down. Well, at least it wasn’t bored about her story. “I haven’t made too many friends in here. I don’t know, I just feel like I can’t trust them; but not everyone. I have made some real friends too, even if there are just a small bunch. There’s my long lost cousin, his name is Sirius. He’s a dork, but I think I can accept hims as family….that’s all I need to tell you and there are his friends. James is...nice, I guess. I just think we don’t connect that well...if you know what I mean...and Remus, he’s great. I really like him, it’s like we knew each from long before we met ...it’s silly, isn’t it? And then there’s Peter...I don’t know, I don’t think we get along. I’m sure he doesn’t like me, and I am not sure how I feel about him. It’s like I have this...unreasonable sense of distrust about him…” The golden eyes had raised once more and Tonks could almost picture the dog’s heat tilting sideways. “I know it is ridiculous. He hasn’t done anything that should make me feel like that…” Tonks shrugged “ Oh there’s also Lily. I think I was a little wary at first, but she’s really nice...and she’s become a good friend and of course there’s Severus. He’s an interesting boy. He’s really kind and a big softie, but he wouldn’t admit it...he prefers to play the bad guy part before admitting that he’s done something good. For example, he always complains about me being noisy, or stupid and ridiculously clumsy, but he always helps me with homework, and seats with me on lunch and dinner, and I’m sure he worries when I trip…” Tonks giggled. “Sirius and James doesn’t like him, but well, that’s fine for Severus.He doesn’t like them either. Maybe it is because they’re to proud...if they actually tried...I believe they’d would be good friends.” Tonks let out a sigh and looked at the sky. The moon was high in the sky sprinkled with stars. It was a view that you wouldn’t see in the city, and she felt lucky to be seeing it now. “The moon is pretty, isn’t it?” The answer to her question was merely a soft growl. She looked back at the amber eyes and smiled at them. “Thank you for your company. I think I better get back, before Filch catches me. Maybe we will meet again…” Tonks jumped on her feet and waved at the dog one last time before walking back to the castle. The pair of golden eyes stared at her back until she was no longer seen.

[nintxndos]

an nsfw ask meme (hide ur eyes kiddos)

I was looking through my blog and saw I answered this ask meme back in 2016 and the answers are preeetttyyyy different so I thought i would give it a go again

1. Are you a virgin? nope havent been for a hot minute now

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size? Yes ive mentioned it to my bff a few times lmfao

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs? Yeah my fucking dad (actually it may have been an sti but still)

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity? nope lmfao

5. Do you swear under celibacy? nah man

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to? ugh back in 2016 not a good time tbh

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex? nope

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex? Yeah my parents when I was 5 amd I still remember it vividly

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission? yes I quite enjoy it tbh

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? the couch in my boyfriends parents house when everyone was home

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex? car sex bc I dont want grass in my asshole

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not? probably 14 or 15

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"? yes I really love it too

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too) I dont know?

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too) didnt know this was a thing tbh lmfao

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? gonna take a guess and say no

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) clitoral

18. What is your bra/penis size? 38DD

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member? yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? a boys dick ayyy

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better? rough sex gets me fucked UP (though intimate is nice too)

22. When was the last time you masturbated? uhhh 2 days ago maybe?

23. When was the last time you had sex? god two weeks ago and im dying i swear

24. When was the last time you watched porn? a few days ago maybe

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? yes i have y first was a little blue bullet and the most recent is a vibrating dildo

26. Guys: Circumsized? not male

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? thighs and neck fuckkk

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? the clit baby!!

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? nope though wow good for the ladies who can

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing? blue panties and a floral bra

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? absolutely

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions? nope

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? nope

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? nope

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? maybe a week or so ago?

36. Which wet dream was your favorite? not sharing lmfao

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? well im currently dating my best friend of 7/8 years

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? yes

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone? yeah

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member? no :'----( I dont even wanna fuck in the shower I just want my back washed

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you? honestly i love missionary

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Fuck yes

43. Are you into any BDSM? god yeah

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? yes because we live 3 hours away 😪😪

45. Turn on's? choking, spanking, being called names, ropes

46. Turn off's? age play is a no go

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover? yes i have and since we started dating absolutely not

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex? yes like all the time the (since he lives 3 hours away)

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on? uhhh I cant think of anything right now tbh

50. Do you like dirty talk? oh fuck yeah

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? usually quiet bc i have to but I love being loud for my boyfriend

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? yeah someone came downstairs and started yelling abt something, also my bf and I were fucking on the couch and the remote fell over

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story? god my exs mom walked in right after I gave him a blow job and she was like "what are you kids doing?"

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story? bruh my bf and i were trying to fuck and we had to watch his sisters dog (like in the room) and she started trying to sniff his ass it was so fucking funny he jumped off me

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch? I dont really watch porn anymore tbh

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome) leabian for sure

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under? uhhh threesome I think

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched? dude this man had a pizza around his dick and the chicks grandpa deadass had a heartattack and she still rode him

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger? chris evans tbh (older by a hot second)

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)? I quite like my purple dildo

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex? nah

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel? nope and probably never will

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower? yes for my boyfriend anytime but not for any of yall sorry

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them? yes my bf is a fan of them

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos? no bc I have real orgasms (finally!!!)

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? yes I tell my bf and we have phone sex at least once a week

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?) yeah I kinda have to

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm? when i was 15 I was literally sitting on a closed toilet in my house bc I shared a room at the time w my sister so i had no choice

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way) nah I can do clitoral, clitoral/penatrative, and just penetration

70. Favorite type of oral? the kind w his tongue on my pussy?

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried? havent really done any strange positions

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion? not that I'm aware of

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal? vaginal i fucking hate anal

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal? clitoral

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I love being a whiny sub

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone? yes

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them? god yes that is why I usually masturbate

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? yes and absolutely not

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? yes and no

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner? not while we were dating no, but ive had sex w people who arent him

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else? yes

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's? nope though ive had a scare or two

83. Birth control or condoms? birth control

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn? not really anymore

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them? yes and not really?

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active? yup

87. Do you have any STDs? nope

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity? yeah when i was like 15/16

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"? nope never even played bc its lame

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral? I swallow if he cums in my mouth but i love getting it on my faceeee

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else? nope and yes

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time? no

93. Have you ever experimented with the opposite sex? yes

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious? intended bc thats the only way we ever had sex unfortunately

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone? nah

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity? yeah I literally called my best friend (current boyfriend)

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated? yes

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant? yes!! we dont live together and we are constantly horny it sucks!!!!

99. Do you like masturbation? eh

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes? nope sorry

[forever-rogue]

So Close

Request: Can I request a Chris (Evans) were he is consoling you after your team have just lost in a tournament and you’re really upset. Basically England came out of the World Cup 1 game away from the final and I’m super upset and need some Chris fluff 😭 thank you if you do ❤️  - @makapaka11

A/N: Of course, I’ll give you some Chris fluff! I hope you like it :) Taglists and Requests are open! I took quite a few liberties with this, so please be aware that not everything is 100% accurate.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: None

MASTERLIST

Y/N placed her hands on her knees as she took a couple of deep breaths. She had been training in the hot sun all afternoon, and she was more than fatigued. She straightened herself up and raised her arm to the coach, signaling that she was done.

“Y/L/N?” the coach walked over to her  and put her hand on her back, “what do you think? Time to call it?”

“Time to call it, I think. We’ve done a lot of work today and I don’t want to wear them all out completely,” she suggested as she looked over the rest of her team. They were all drenched in sweat as well, “especially since we’re traveling tomorrow.”

“Good plan, Y/L/N,” she said before blowing her whistle, letting everyone know that practice was done for the. She waved them over and they all slowly gathered around her, “good work today ladies. Top form for everyone, I think we’re looking good out there. Tomorrow we leave early in the morning to head to the tournament. I want you all well rested and prepared for anything. Our first match is in 3 days. Once we get to our destination and get settled we will practice. We’re coming in highly seeded, so let’s show everyone what we’ve got, okay? We didn’t work our asses off for the last several years for nothing. Good night, and good luck. I’ll see you all at the airport tomorrow morning.”

The team exchanged some words with each other before heading back to the locker rooms. Y/N felt a million different emotions running through her veins at once - this is what she had worked for all these years. Now it was her time to show the world what she was made of.

“Chris?” Y/N called out as she walked inside their shared home. She yawned and dumped her bag in their entryway. She saw the light on in the kitchen and figured he was there, perhaps making dinner or baking like he was inclined to do when he had some free time. Before she could any further, Dodger ran up to her and covered her in his kisses, his tail wagging fast and furiously, “hey buddy, I missed you too! Now, where is Daddy?”

It was almost like he gave her a nod of acknowledgement as he led the way into the kitchen. There was Chris, waiting for her with a batch of cookies fresh out of the oven, “hi, honey. You can home just in time!”

“Hi love,” she grinned at him as she walked over and wrapped her arms around him. He wasted no time in responding and holding onto her as tightly as he could.

“How was practice?” he asked as she pulled away after a few moments and grabbed one of his cookies. She took a bite and shrugged in response, “that good, huh?”

“I think it was fine,” she said as she swallowed, “right now it’s more nerves than anything else. I can’t believe tomorrow’s the day already. It feels like it’s so sudden.”

“You’ll do great, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You’ll show them all who’s boss,” he tried to reassure her as he kissed the top of her head.

“You think so?” she asked with a hopeful smile on her face.

“I know so.”

“I wish you were able to come with me tomorrow,” she said and gave him the puppy dog eyes - she knew they usually always worked on him. He chuckled as he reached up and touched her cheek gently.

“I know, darling, I wish I could too. But it’s only a week or so of reshoots that I have to do and then I’ll be by your side,“

“If we’re even in it at that point,” she sighed and Dodger perked up and let out a low whine, “see, even our dog knows it’s a long shot.”

“It’s not a long shot. I guarantee it will go well and I will be there by your side at the end,” he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. She looked back at him and nodded in response, “now you should pack and get some rest for tomorrow. I’ll be ready to take you to the airport bright and early.”

“Ughhhh, okay,” she said with a nervous smile as she leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment before taking her by the shoulders and guiding her in the direction of the staircase. She started up them and looked back to see Dodger watching her intently, “come on boy, you can help me.”

“You can do this. Remember that,” Chris had Y/N wrapped tightly in his arms. She murmured something between a groan and an ‘okay’ in his ear. He chuckled in response and kissed the side of her head, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” she said as he let go of her, “I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes, sweetheart. I’ll be there to join in less than two weeks. I’ll be watching every minute of the action, my phone will be on me too,” he promised her before pulling her in for a kiss, “now go and get 'em, tiger.”

“Thanks babe,” she said with a smile as she heard her name being called by the coach, followed by some wolf whistles from the rest of the team, “I guess that’s my cue to leave.”

“See you soon,” he said as she picked up her bag an headed over to where the rest of the team had gathered. She turned around and gave him one last wave before he turned around to leave.

“Y/L/N, it’s about time you joined us,” the coach joked and the team teased her about Chris. It was all in good humor; they had all met him before and adored him.

“A thousand apologies,” she joked, “now let’s get this crazy show on the road!”

Closing her eyes in the concrete hall leading out to the field, Y/N listened to the chanting of thousands of people. She had played in big matches before and was fairly well known, but this, this was unlike anything she had ever experienced. It was terrifying and electric all a the same time, making all the hairs on her body stand up. The World Cup  was truly unlike anything else.

“You ready for this, Y/N?” one of her teams asked as she took her spot next to her. She looked just as panicked as Y/N, but was ding a somewhat better job of keeping up the appearance that she wasn’t. They had played together for years, and she was sure she had nothing to worry about. It was mostly herself that she was doubting.

“Ready as ever,” she responded as she heard announcements starting. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she stripped off her jacket, “is being ready to barf at any moment considered ready?”

“I’d be more worried if you weren’t nervous,” she chuckled, “as soon as we get out there, the nerves will go away. Trust me. It’s a big stage, but it’ll feel like any other game once we’re in the thick of it. Just remember to aim for the opponent’s goal and not ours!”

“Oh come on,” Y/N burst out laughing at the memory of the mishap she had had when she had first joined the team, “it was years ago and a complete accident!”

“Just aim true and fly fast,” she smiled at her and Y/N nodded in response. Their coach beckoned for them to head onto the field, a nervous expression on her face as well. This was it - round one.

“Come on, Chris,” she said as she listened to the ringing sound on her end of the call, “answer.”

After a few more rings, she finally heard him sleepily answer, “hello?”

“I know it’s super early in the morning there, but I just had to call and tell you the good news,” she said quickly, knowing he probably wasn’t going to understand anything she was saying, “we won! We won the first match!”

“That’s amazing,” he said, mustering as much excitement as the early morning allowed for, “congratulations, I told you that you could do it.”

“I know, I know, but I didn’t think we’d actually do it! It feels so incredible, the rush, everything, just wow,” she rambled on and she paced around her room, her energy level high as ever, “I just...am astounded.”

“That’s amazing news sweetheart. I’m so proud of you,” he said, “now it’s just making it through the next ones. Which I know you will do.”

“Thank you, love. I can’t wait to celebrate with you here,” she said, a small smile creeping onto her face.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there now, but I promise I’ll be on the next flight over as soon as I can.”

“I know,” she said, “don’t worry, I’ll save all my celebrating for when you’re here.”

“Sounds perfect, darling. Now go out there and kick some more ass.”

“You got it,” she smiled as she ended the call with him. One match was down, now there were several more to go before she could really celebrate.

Over the next several weeks, Y/N endured a grueling training schedule, matches, and other events to attend. It hard to be tired though, everything was so exciting and the energy from everyone was enough to keep her going. There were a few times when she thought she wouldn’t be able to make it, but the thrill of victory keep her pushing on. The end slowly came in sight, but the further the team advanced, the harder each match became. The opposing teams were tough, but she knew they had to be tougher.

Slowly they made their way into the semifinals - but that’s where she thought her dream would end. Neither side had scored and the match was almost over. She didn’t know if the team would make it through an added period or a shoot out, and her dreams were slowly fading away.

But, just when she was ready to turn her face away and hang her head in defeat, she heard the crowd break out in a huge cheer. She looked down at the other end of the field and saw her team mate go in for an almost impossible kick. She waited with bated breath as she watched her foot connect with the ball, and the ball then soar through the goalie’s outstretched arms and into the goals - mere seconds before the match was over.

Almost as if the world had been on mute and in slow motion before, it all ended and the deafening noise from the crowd reached her ears. They had done it. The team ran down the field to and hoisted her team mate in the air in celebration. This was it. They had made into the final match.

“I’m so glad you’re finally here,” Y/N whispered softly into Chris’ ear as they laid entangled with each other in their hotel room. He snaked his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. She chuckled as she turned closer to his body and nestled her head into the crook of his shoulder, “I’m so nervous about today.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about love,” he said as he ran his hand soothingly up and down her back, “you’ve made it this far, you can do it. I’ll be here to cheer you on.”

“I think that’ll get me the little bit extra drive I need,” she said as she kissed his shoulder, “I wish we could stay here longer.”

“Tonight, tomorrow and then however long after that we can stay in bed doing whatever you want,” he said as he raised his eyebrows suggestively at her. She giggled at him, but they were quickly interrupted by a loud knocking on her door.

“Y/L/N! Time to head out. You’ve got 10 minutes to be ready,” her coach’s voice was loud and commanding, and Y/N let out a sigh.

“You heard the boss lady, better get going,” he said and she nodded as she untangled herself from him and stood up, stretching her tired body.

“I suppose this is goodbye for now,” she said as she started to grab her things and get changed, “I’ll see you on the other side. Win or lose.”

“I’ll see you on the other side of win,” he reassured her and she looked at him with a nervous expression on her face. She nodded and reached for her bag, slinging it over her shoulder, trying to ready herself for what was to come.

Y/N let out a frustrated shout as another of her attempts to score was prevented by the opposing goalie. They weren’t getting anywhere, and almost nothing had happened in over thirty minutes. Their coach was shouting at them from the sidelines, but no matter what they did, nothing seemed to be helping. The other team’s defense was just so strong.

The match had started with plenty of action, both teams scoring almost immediately, but after that, it had been a lot of running up and down the pitch, no action happening. It was frustrating to say the least.

As the match started to come to close, they were neck and neck again, both of the coaches screaming their lungs out from the sidelines. The unthinkable happened though, just as they were about to give it one last attempt, the other team scored. It was almost unnoticed, quiet and sneaky, but it happened - and the crowd lost their minds as something finally happened.

Y/N looked up at the scoreboard and saw that there were only thirty seconds left. They were done. She glanced over at her teammate and frowned at each other. Y/N decided they might as well give it one more shot, they had nothing else to lose at this point. Y/N gave her team mate the signal and they tried their hail Mary play, but, unfortunately, it was no use, and the sound of the match ending met their ears. It was over, hard thought but to no avail.

Y/N through her hands up in exasperation, as she felt tears stinging the back of her eyes. The team gathered together and exchanged hugs and sad looks as they watched the other team celebrate their victory. She was mad at herself, and wanted nothing more than to crawl away and hide in a hole somewhere. The other team had played valiantly, and she couldn’t even be mad at their triumph - they deserved the win.

Sitting in one of the empty stadium seats, Y/N was stoic in contemplation. She had refused to leave with everyone else, promising that she would catch up to them soon.

“Is this set taken?” the familiar voice met her ears and she turned around to come face to face with Chris.

“It’s all yours,” she said as she patted the empty spot, “as long as you’re okay with sitting next to a loser.”

“Babe, you are not a loser at all,” he said as he put his arm around her shoulder, “I’m so, so proud of everything you’ve accomplished. You were amazing.”

“But we still lost,” she said in a defeated tone as she rested chin her hand, “and that’s what people will remember.”

“No, they won’t. They’ll remember how hard you worked to be here and how well you played,” he promised, “and second place is no joke. You are my number one, if nothing else.”

“Thanks,” she replied with a small smile as she leaned into him, “I guess we’ll just have to do a little better next time,”

“Now, I have something to ask you,” he said as he was struggling with something in his pocket.

“Hmm?” she asked as he pulled away from her and got down on one knee. Her hands flew to her face as she realized what was happening.

“I love you, and I always have. No matter what happens, you are amazing, and you are the best. You will always have the top spot in my heart,” he said as he pulled out a small ring box and opened it to reveal a dazzling ring, “I was going to ask you to marry me today, not matter what happened. So, Y/N, will you do me the honor of marrying me and making me the happiest man in the world?”

“Yes,” was all she said as she jumped into his arms, “absolutely yes.”

“I love you so much,” he said before kissing her and slipping the ring onto her finger. She admired it for a few moments before wrapping her arms around him again, hanging onto him like her life depended on it.

“I love, love, love you,” she chimed in his ear, “thank you for making today absolutely perfect.”

“Thank you for saying yes,” he chuckled as he let out a sigh of relief that she said yes, “you’re the one that has made everything perfect. You’re the best in the world in my book.”

“You’re such a dork,” she laughed as she wiped away a few tears of joy. Maybe she didn’t get to celebrate a world cup victory today, but she got to experience something much better - a lifelong of happy endings.

Permanent Taglist: @ruinerofcheese @courtneychicken  @santa-crew @supernatural508 @ssweet-empowerment @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @wearegoldeninthenight @mannatgalhotra @prxttybirdz @piensa-bonito @mightyhemsworthy @shewalksinanotherworld @jems8241 @bookaddic @fairyxxfighter @asguardiansoftheavengers @esoltis280 @the-bright-lights @artisticlales @loislp @dixonsbugaboo @sleepylunarwolf @patzammit

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Adventures in Parenting: One Shot - Oh Christmas Tree

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Nikki Evans (OFC)

Rating: PG

Warnings: n/a

Summary: Chris, Nikki, the kids and the extended family taking part in their annual Christmas tree hunt.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Chris & Nikki One Shots & Shorts Masterlist | Chris & Nikki Masterlist

Oh Christmas Tree

December 2, 2017

Chris and Nikki stood in the kitchen drinking hot coffee watching the weather report on their iPad. The station had been reporting for days that a snowstorm was headed in their direction, which had put their annual Christmas tree hunt into question. However, they were now reporting that it wouldn't hit until later that night.

As the station switched to a segment on how people should prepare for the incoming storm, Chris and Nikki's cell phones alerted them to a text message.

The Evans-Ashworth Annual Christmas Tree Hunt is on! We will meet at the tree farm at 10am. - Lisa

"Guess it's time to get the boys up," Nikki said, glancing at the clock.

"I'm on it," Chris replied, just as they heard their oldest son yell, "MOMMY!" from upstairs.

They'd been in their new house for a month now and the biggest hurdle, but necessity, was the gates at the top and bottom of the stairs to keep their active 2-year-old, Aiden, from trying to climb them. It meant that four-year-old Josh had to rely on his parents to get downstairs or upstairs.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Chris opened the gate so Josh could come down. "Go find mommy in the kitchen," he told his son. "I'm going to go check on your sister and get your brother."

Starting with the newest addition to the family, Chris tiptoed into his and Nikki's room and smiled when he found four-month-old Rachel still fast asleep. The two boys had been awful sleepers, but Rachel had been sleeping through the night since we she was six weeks old.

Knowing that Nikki had the baby monitor downstairs with her, Chris left the room and went into the room next door to his and Nikki's room where the boys slept. He found Aiden sitting in his crib quietly playing with a toy that Josh must have thrown into the crib for him.

"Hey big guy," Chris greeted. "You ready to get up?"

"Yes!" Aiden threw his toy aside and then stood up. "Potty."

"You have to go potty?" Chris asked, lifting the toddler out of the crib.

"Uh huh," Aiden nodded.

Ten minutes later, Chris carried Aiden downstairs with the little boy chewing on a gummy worm. "We went potty in the toilet this morning," Chris told Nikki when they found her at the stove.

"Yeah!" Nikki smiled. She leaned over and gave Aiden a kiss on the cheek. "Good job, sweetie."

"Worm," Aiden said, holding out half of the slobbery gummy worm.

"Mommy doesn't want your gummy worm, silly," Chris chuckled. "You finish eating it." He carried Aiden over to the table and set him down in his booster seat. Turning to his oldest he asked, "Do you know what's happening today, Joshie?"

"CHRISTMAS TREE!" Josh shouted, making Chris and Nikki laugh.

Two weeks earlier, they had started decorating their new house for Christmas, everything but the Christmas tree. At age four, Josh was more aware of Christmas traditions than he had been in the past and he had known that the tree was missing. He'd cried at first, thinking they wouldn't be getting one, but then Chris had promised that they'd get one after Thanksgiving and had shown Josh the calendar with the date circled.

The Evans-Ashworth Annual Christmas Tree Hunt had started when Chris and his siblings had been kids. It had been an annual thing that his mom and Mikey's late mom had started, but after Mikey's mom had passed away from cancer the summer after sixth grade, Mikey's dad had stopped coming along and after that first year, Mikey had stopped coming, too.

It hadn't been until Nikki and her mom had joined the Ashworth family that the tradition had been renewed, partially because neither Nikki nor her mom had ever had a real Christmas tree before. The families had gone Christmas tree hunting together every year since then, though, they'd all missed at least one year for one reason or another.

Chris had missed more Christmas tree hunts than anyone else and, ironically, the ones he had made it home for, Nikki had been away at school. Since they'd gotten together, however, they had only missed a couple years and now that their kids were getting older, it was a tradition that they wanted to pass on.

After breakfast was eaten and cleaned up, Chris carried both boys upstairs to get their warm clothes on while Nikki went to feed the baby and get her dressed in winter gear.

Once the boys were ready, Chris led them into his and Nikki's room and finished getting Rachel ready while Nikki got dressed. Once Nikki was dressed, she herded the kids downstairs while Chris quickly got ready.

After gathering a few snacks and putting them in the diaper bag, Nikki led the kids out to the minivan. She settled Rachel in her car seat first then helped Aiden into his while Josh buckled himself into his booster seat.

"You all snapped in?" Nikki asked, leaning between the two captain seats where the younger kids' car seats were. She doubled checked his work and then kissed him on the forehead. "Good job, buddy."

As Nikki climbed out of the van, Chris came out of the house with a dog leash in each hand. "No way," she said, looking down at the dogs.

"But they always come with us," Chris stated. He squatted down and softly grabbed Boston's snout. "How can you say no to a face like this?" He then shifted his attention to Max. "Or this one?"

"Easy, we have three kids, we're totally outnumbered," Nikki stated, putting her hands on her hips.

"Nik, we both know that someone in our family is going to snatch Rachel up the moment we get to the farm," Chris said, standing up. "The only thing we don't know is who it will be, but my bet is on your mom."

"That still leaves us with two very active boys," Nikki pointed out.

"There are only two of us, you're right, but we're not going alone," Chris reminded her. "There will be eight kids today, but there will be thirteen adults. Plus, it will solve another little problem of ours."

Before Nikki could ask what problem, they heard Josh's little voice call from the back of the van. "Mommy, will you sit with me?"

With three kids in car seats, it wasn't practical for them to drive their second vehicle, a crossover SUV, for family trips, but it also meant that Josh ended up in the third row of the minivan by himself unless Nikki, usually, sat in the back with him.

"Believe it or not, I still like holding your hand when I'm driving," Chris smiled down at his wife. "It's the only reason to drive an automatic."

"Alright," Nikki caved. "But you're on doggy duty."

"Yes ma'am," Chris saluted. "Get on in boys, momma says you get to come."

The dogs jumped into the minivan and found their spots; Boston jumping onto the back bench seat with Josh while Max planted himself between the two captain seats.

Five minutes later, they were on the road and listening to a custom radio station playing Christmas songs. As the opening score of "All I Want for Christmas is You" filled the car, Chris reached over and took Nikki's hand in his, just like he had six years earlier when they'd attended their first Christmas tree hunt as a couple. Nikki squeezed Chris's hand and leaned back in her seat.

The Christmas tree farm they'd always gone to had become even more special to them as it was the same farm that Chris and Nikki had gotten married at. The owners, a husband and wife, had diversified their land with him growing Christmas trees for winter and her hosting weddings during the spring, summer and fall. There were occasionally weddings there in the winter, but most of the time the fully restored 100 year old barn was home a local holiday craft fair during that part of the year.

The drive to the farm took them about forty minutes and, by the time they arrived, most of the family was there waiting. Getting Rachel into her snowsuit was easy and Nikki's mom happily took her youngest grandbaby. Neither boy, however, wanted to wear a hat, scarf or gloves, but as soon as they saw their cousins wearing them, they gave in.

Soon they were all making their way up and down the rows of trees looking for the perfect one. Chris's mom and siblings were the first to find their tree and Chris and his brother were elected to do the cutting. While Scott and his brother-in-law carried the tree up to the tree shaker, the rest of them continued on.

"I want this one!" Josh declared, a few minutes later.

Nikki turned and smiled when she saw Josh standing next to a tree that was maybe four feet tall.

"Don't you want a bigger one?" Chris asked, squatting down next to his son. Josh shook his head. "Why not?"

"I want a little one, like me," Josh replied, making the others laugh.

"I guess we could get this one," Chris said, glancing at Nikki. "We can get big one next year?"

"Why can't you get two trees, Uncle Chris?" his oldest nephew Ethan asked.

"That's a great idea," Nikki said. "What do you think, Aiden, do you like this tree?" The two-year-old nodded from his perch in her dad's arms. "Alright, I guess we've found the tree for the reading area."

Josh "helped" Nikki hold the tree while Chris used the saw on the base. Then Josh "helped" Chris carry it up to the tree shaker. While they were gone, Nikki's parents and sisters found their tree and so did Dana, Mikey and their twins.

Once Chris and Josh returned, it took them another fifteen minutes or so to find the perfect tree for their living room. As per tradition, they posed for a picture with Nikki holding a sleeping Rachel and Chris holding both Aiden and Josh. Once the picture taking was done, they got down to business with cutting it down and then carried it out to the tree shaker.

The kids watched in awe as a worker put each tree on the machine that shook the tree to remove dead needles and any wayward bugs. They then watched as each tree passed through the bundling machine that wrapped string around the tree branches so it was a tight bundle.

While the menfolk put the trees on the cars, the women and kids went into the barn for hot chocolate and cookies. The grandmas volunteered to watch the kids while the moms and aunties went to look at what was for sale.

Nikki and Dana walked around together and found a booth with customizable wood ornaments. They each picked one out for each of their kids and were waiting as the artist wrote the kids names on them when Chris and Mikey appeared.

"It's snowing," Chris told Nikki as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Nikki craned her neck so she could see out one of the old windows and smiled when she saw Josh and Aiden spinning around with their tongues out. It was still too warm for the snow to stick, but the kids were loving it.

Once the ornaments were done, the couples made their way outside to join their kids. Chris and Mikey joined Scott in chasing the kids around and it wasn't long before Aiden took protection in Nikki's arms. As he nestled his head in her neck, Nikki knew the morning's activities were catching up with him.

As the temperature started to drop, Chris and Nikki said their goodbyes and carried their boys to the van while Nikki's mom followed with Rachel. They loaded the kids and the dogs into the van and then headed home.

The snow was starting to stick as Chris pulled into their driveway and, with all three kids sleeping, he and Nikki took the trees off the roof of the van and carried them into the garage.

Once they'd gotten the trees in buckets of water, they took turns carrying their sleeping kids into the house. They put the boys on the couches in the playroom and put Rachel in the pack 'n play in the office. They carefully removed the kids' winter gear, working slowly as to not wake them up.

Exhausted, Chris sank down onto the couch in the living room as Nikki turned on the gas fireplace before joining him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as she cuddled up against him. They relaxed in silence as they watched the snow falling steadily from the windows on either side of the fireplace.

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

[my-emotional-self]

A Perfect Gentleman (Jasper Hale x Reader)

Pairings: Jasper Hale x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Daddy Kink, Praise Kink

Word Count: 1.5k+

A/N: So I haven’t written smut in a good couple weeks so I’m sorry if this isn’t the greatest. Also, I blame @alex-ivar-minx for this.  She is 100% to blame. 

The light pouring of rain pounded on the roof as you woke up from your nap.  Yawning, you looked at the clock and realized you took a much longer nap than usual.  It was nearing 8pm as you sprung up in bed.  

Your mother was out of town on a business trip per usual and your father, well, lets not get into that. He’s not around anymore.  Walking down the stairs you made your way to the kitchen as you filled up a cup of water.  Making your way back up the stairs to your bedroom you saw your phone blinking with a notification.  

Jasper: I hope you enjoyed your nap beautiful.  Emmett and I should be back soon from hunting. I’ll come over as soon as I’m done. I miss you xoxo

You smiled as you read the text.  Jasper had been your boyfriend for a little over a year now and you had known all about his and his entire family’s secret.  Of course you wouldn’t tell, you were in love with the guy.  He was everything you could have dreamed of; a perfect southern gentleman during the day, and a sex god by night.

Smiling to yourself you went to your bookshelf and pulled out your scrapbook you started when you and Jasper first began dating.  Opening it up, there was a picture of the two of you; Jasper smiling at you lovingly as your head was tilted back in full on laughter.  It was one of your favorite pictures of the two of you.  You kept looking through the scrapbook, smiling to yourself at some points and laughing at others.  

A gust of wind blew by as you felt your bed tilt.  With a smile on your face you turned to face Jasper as he mirrored your smile.  “Hello darlin’.  How was your day” his voice sang.  

Your face fell as you thought about your day.  “Quite lonely actually” came your reply as your head narrowed.  

Cool fingertips lifted your chin towards Jasper; a sultry smirk on his gorgeously pale face.  You soon felt a sense of calm rush over you and you knew Jasper was using his abilities on you.  Trying your hardest, you jutted your bottom lip to pout but it wasn’t working too well.  “No fair Jasper, you’re cheating!” you laughed.  

“I feel bad about leaving you all day darlin’.  So how about I make it up to you?” his southern accent making you desire him that much more.  His eyes trailed down your body and to your core where you knew without a doubt he could smell your arousal.  In an instant you were lying on your bed, naked, as Jasper stood at the foot of the bed; his erection standing tall and proud.  

You loved that he was a vampire and his speed abilities, but when it came time to pleasuring you, he always took his time.  Licking your lips your eyes trailed down his toned torso and to his cock; your mouth watering at the sight of him as you let out a quiet moan.  His head tilted back at the noise coming from your throat.  “Oh darlin’, I’ve waiting all day to hear that sound come from you.  And you bet your sweet ass that I will be hearing more of that” he growled out.  

Jasper’s cold hands gripped your ankles and pulled you down the bed to the point of your ass almost hanging off the edge.  Your body was on fire with desire as his cool fingertips trailed along your shins.  He cocked his head to the side, a sexy smirk becoming on his face.  “Does my kitten like that?”

You moaned as he called you kitten; it was your favorite pet name.  It also made you aware of the kind of mood he was in and damn if you weren’t in the same kind of mood.  You grinned up at him before taking your bottom lip between your teeth.  “Yes daddy” you purred out.  

Jasper’s eyes darkened at your words; his grip tightening on your legs as you noticed his cock twitch. He sunk to his knees as you propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him.  He was so close to your core you could feel his breath, but he decided to tease you first.  Turning his head, he pressed open mouth kisses to the inside of your thighs.  His fangs lightly scraping along your delicate skin making you moan out yet again.  “Stop….teasing….daddy” you rasped out as your breathing became uneven.  

Jasper pulled his lips from you as he smirked again, “as you wish kitten.”  His lips closed around your clit as he gentle suckled your delicate area.  Your entire body shivered from his cold touch, but on the inside, you were burning with lust.  His tongue lazily drew circles around your nub; your back arching off the bed. Jasper pulled away as you whined in protest.  “If you don’t stay still, daddy will have to punish you kitten.”

You remained still for a few seconds, pondering whether or not you wanted to be punished today.  His punishments always turned you on more, but right now, you just wanted your release and you wanted to feel him inside you. Nodding your head, you replied, “I understand daddy.”

“Good girl” he cooed before his tongue began to lap at your juices.  You felt the familiar tug in your stomach as Jasper’s experienced tongue moved faster with each passing second.  

Your chest heaved as your mouth hung open.  “I’m…I’m close daddy!” you begged knowing he would tip you over the edge.  Jasper chuckled at your core as his tongue placed back at your nub; two cool fingers quickly inserted themselves into you.  He crooked his fingers just right, hitting your g-spot as he sucked your clit.  Your breath hitched in your throat as you hurtled towards your orgasm; your legs quivering on either side of Jasper’s head.  

As the shockwaves of your orgasm subsided, your vision turned back to normal.  Opening your eyes you saw Jasper lying next to you on the bed; a satisfied grin on his face.  “How is my good girl feeling?”

Blushing, you smiled up at him.  “Better. You’re always such a perfect gentleman. But it would be even better if your cock was in me.”

Jasper’s eyes narrowed as a growl emanated from his throat.  “Such naughty words coming from my good girl.”  In a flash Jasper was hovering over you as he held himself up by his hands.  He gave you a quick nod and you knew just what he wanted.  

Slowly, your hands trailed down his smooth torso, feeling the ripples of each muscle.  Jasper groaned in response to your warm fingers. Your hand found his hard cock as you gripped it lightly before pumping him a few times.  Lining him at your entrance, you teased your folds as you got him slick with your juices; the both of you moaning in unison together at the feeling.  Once you had him lined to your entrance, you gripped his hips and pulled him forward. Jasper leaned down and kissed you with such passion your toes curled as he slowly buried himself into you.  

“Shit baby girl, you fell so good.  So tight for daddy” he growled once he became fully sheathed inside you.  

You moved your head upwards to claim his lips with yours as you planted your feet on the bed to lift your hips up.  You needed him to move, to do something because this was pure torture.  He soon got the hint and started a torturously slow pace.  Your eyes clenched as his tip kept hitting your g-spot over and over.  With every sensation, your body was overwhelmed and you were loving it.  “Faster daddy” you begged as your hips met his thrusts.  

“You want me to go faster huh darlin’?” Jasper howled with an evil glint to his eyes.  You nodded your head quickly as you nibbled your lower lip.  He gripped your thighs as he got on his knees, throwing your legs over his shoulders. His hips bucked forwards with a ferocious speed; sweat glistening over your body.  

The coil in your stomach began to tighten for the second time that night.  Jasper’s hips began to falter as you knew he was close to.  “Cum with daddy” Jasper urged.  You held on, waiting for Jasper to be ready.  With one quick nod of his head, your orgasm exploded through you.  

“JASPER!!!!” you cried out in pleasure as your walls tightened around his cock; Jasper’s movements stilling as you felt his seed spill inside you.  You lay there, unmoving and trying to catch your breath as Jasper’s arms wrapped around you, holding you close.  Naturally, he didn’t get out of breath from such extremities.  

Before you knew it, he pulled out of you and went to grab a washcloth, cleaning you up.  He soon came back to bed with you as you rolled over and laid your head atop his chest; his fingers weaving through your hair.  “Did I make it up to you for leaving you alone today?”

You chuckled at his question as you looked up at him.  “You more than made up for it Jasper.”

“Good, because I’m not done with you yet” Jasper declared before pinning your wrists to the bed and claiming your lips with his.

Tag List: @kanupps06 @potterhead1265 @miss-cap21 @pumbibaby @the-real-kellymonster @princess-evans-addict @mustbenot @remember-that-one-blog @projectxhappiness @libbitinasdeath @bluearchersstuff

[airadam]

Episode 146 : Rise.

"Put on the wings of the morning and fly."

- Capleton

It somehow feels like an awful long time since the last episode - the new job has been keeping me extra-busy and the speed of world events just seems to keep accelerating. Sadly, one of those events was the passing of Biz Markie - another legend lost too soon. I've selected one of his most famous tracks to close the episode, but I hope you enjoy the fifty or so minutes before that as well.

Twitter : @airadam13

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Above The Law : 100 Spokes

Air Adam trivia : I own four copies of this on 12"! I had a beat-juggle routine with one of the remixes, and in the old days, you couldn't just hit "instant doubles" on Serato - plus the records do wear out! The original is the better track for a straight listen though, with Cold 187um handling the production and the first verse, with the late great KMG bringing his trademark low-key style to the second. This is more easily available on the excellent "Time Will Reveal" album - which I actually have twice on vinyl, and once on CD...

The Rattler Proxy : Death Machine (Jokers of the Scene Remix)

I don't know if this will be everyone's cup of tea, but it's a track I've been playing heavily since I first heard it on one of Victoria Rawlins' Twitch sets. If you've got great headphones, or big speakers, you'll be amazed at how the low end comes in and envelops you after the long ambient intro. The Rattler Proxy were a Greek duo who broke up last year, but this remix of one of their 2014 releases feels like a lasting classic to me.

Semi Six ft. Tha Essence & 5'4 : Heaterz

Fellow Polo enthusiast and Detroit native Semi Six is back with a new EP "Assorted Fries", and brings a couple of spitters along for the ride on this single. Atlanta's Tuamie provides the crispy-clean instrumental, and the whole track is no hook, pure bars.

Elzhi : Light One, Write One

Last year saw the release of Elzhi's third solo LP "Seven Times Down Eight Times Up", which follows the old-school tradition of having the same production personnel from beginning to end - in this case, JR Swiftz out of Brooklyn. Always a skilled writer, El gets busy over the nice soulful jazz/vocal sample and classic boom-bap drums.

* as an aside - you only have to get up as many times as you fall down...

Capleton ft. Method Man : Wings Of The Morning

I remember having to look up the meaning of the title; it's shared with a 30s film, but originally from the Book of Psalms. This is a winner from the era when US artists began to collaborate with reggae and dancehall stars - with results of varying quality, it has to be said! It shows how well it really can be done, with Capleton's Rastafari lyrics and deejay style meshing with the characteristic grittiness of the sound of Wu-Tang's Method Man. The piano sample will be familiar to many, hooked up by Stuart Brown, and the drums are rugged enough to do justice to the vocalists. The 1995 "Prophecy" album was a strong release, and this was one of the best cuts from it.

Lone Apostrophe : Take Me

Manchester's own Lone Apostrophe is a true student of beatmaking, and his new "Webs" collection is a great pickup for anyone with an attachment to the golden age of the boom-bap. Those echoed/delayed horns take you back to mixtapes in 1993...a mood.

1982 ft. Skyzoo and Jared Evan : Summer In New York

If ever there was a track that announced the title before you hear it, it might well be this one! The combination of Statik Selektah and Termanology is also known as 1982, and their compact new release "The Summer EP" is headed up by this sunny track, which is definitely lifted by Jared Evan's hook .

Nas ft. Cordae and Freddie Gibbs : Life Is Like A Dice Game

"When I finish this shit, sure to be a hit..." I was extremely surprised to see this one pop up recently! Many years ago, there was an unreleased Nas track with the same title, ropey sound quality but as dope as you'd expect. It was recorded around the time of "Illmatic", and leaked on the underground but never made an official release. Apparently, Spotify recently asked Nas if he'd resurrect it and so the production was re-done (by Hit-Boy) and he brought in Freddie Gibbs and Cordae to join him for a memorable recording. This deserves to be the hit Nas predicted it would be over twenty-five years ago.

Sadat X ft. Jigmastas : Don't Get It Twisted (PUTS Remix)

One of those great independent 12" releases that illustrate why the streaming services aren't (at least yet) in a position to replace a collection built over years. This remix by People Under the Stairs was on the B-side of the "Plan X" single, and pairs up Sadat X with Kriminul of Jigmastas - as you'd expect, the original was produced by DJ Spinna.

Tanya Morgan ft. Kooley High : So Good

Sonically, seasonally appropriate once again - this 80s soul club-sounding cut has summer written all over it. Tanya Morgan (Donwill and Von Pea, if you didn't know) will be releasing their fifth LP "Don and Von" in August, from which this is the second single. The North Carolina crew Kooley High come along to deepen the MC roster for this one, which whets the appetite for the album perfectly.

Buckwild : Mad Ammo (Instrumental)

A vintage SP-1200 beat from the disk boxes of DITC's Buckwild, as originally heard when it was dug out and rhymed over by Celph Titled on the "Nineteen Ninety Now" LP. 

REMI ft. Konny Kon : Good Mates

I'm glad Michelle Grace Hunder put me up on the latest (and final) album by this crew out of Melbourne, not least since I happened upon a Konny Kon guest appearance I might otherwise have missed! "PTSD in the hood runs undiagnosed" - isn't that just the truth? Remi and Konny spit raw reality on their verses, with Sensible J on production. Definitely peep the "Fried" LP.

Pete Rock ft. Pharoahe Monch : Just Do It

We go back to the "Soul Survivor 2" collection for this track - not quite up to the mark of the first, but still an excellent LP. Only great producers can make a beat as sparse as this and make it sound complete, not unfinished. The spaced-out keys on the hook are an added bonus, a nice bit of additional polish. Pharaohe Monch can sound good on pretty much anything, so when he gets quality material like this then it's an easy win. 

Roots Manuva ft. Ricky Rankin : Bashment Boogie

I've been meaning to play this one for years - originally thought it would be one to open a show with, but I think it works well enough here! One of the early tracks on Roots' critically-acclaimed second LP "Run Come Save Me", this one bumps along with a digital flavour (Lotek on the beat) as he tells the story of getting ready to go out of town for a jam. One of the great artists ever to come out of the UK scene, Roots drops plenty of references that the home crowd will get, and it still stands up twenty years after release.

Khadejia ft. Product : Here We Go

A slightly obscure track, despite all the personnel involved! This was on Funkmaster Flex's "60 Minutes of Funk - The Mix Tape Volume III" release, and he produced it along with Wyclef and Jerry Wonder. I believe this is Khadejia's only headline release, but she's got a fair few features in her discography, including "Can't Help It" by Royal Flush which I love. Accompanying her are the duo The Product, whose releases I must say passed me by at the time! They borrow a classic Boogie Down Productions lyric and build around it for a nice little jam.

Flamingosis : Jet Skis & Hennessy

Flamingosis just has that knack of cooking up instrumentals that make you feel great. This selection from "Flight Fantastic" is no exception, and perfect for a summer's evening.

Biz Markie : Nobody Beats The Biz

What can I say that hasn't been said about this certified classic from a recently-departed giant? Well, maybe I can give you some trivia gems you may not have been aware of - it's got to be one of the most-sampled Hip-Hop tracks of all time, the title/hook is based on commercials from an 80s electronics chain in NYC, and Biz bought every copy of the Lafayette Afro Rock Band record containing "Hihache" (used for the drums here) from one shop to replace Marley Marl's scratched-up copy! A legendary track from the "Goin' Off" LP, which will be played as long as this culture lives.

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

[filthyfundie]

Ok about WandaVision. I have some questions. First- just after the baby is born, vision runs into the house and asks Where is Geraldine? He is not disguised as a human anymore. Why is this? Second, do you think Mephisto will be introduced as a character we already know or “pietro” or someone else? Then- episode 5. Do you think Wanda will join Mordo as the villains of Multiverse, because Dr Strange kidnaps and raises the twins? Do you think Dr Strange can use sorcery to heal Vision?

You’re too sweet ily

I got so excited reading this ask. thank you for indulging me.

1. That’s a good point, if he thought Geraldine was still in the house he should have been disguised. This may have just been another sign of Wandas control slipping. When she turned to look at him and saw him as he actually is, that appeared to indicate.. something. But this could have still occurred and been as jarring if it transitioned from his human face.

2. I’m 100% in the Mephisto as the shows (other) big bad theory. I just read an article earlier about the potential of Evan Peters Pietro actually being either Mephisto or (another?) one of his projections.

*edit to complete this thought* i don’t know how I feel about Mephisto disguised as Pietro because I actually really like Peters as Pietro being the introduction of Fox XMen into Disney Marvel and I’m hoping it’s not just smoke and mirrors. But I’m certain Mephisto is behind Pietro appearing bc Wanda did seem so genuinely shocked.

3. I do believe Wanda will be a villain in Multiverse, to one degree or another because I do believe it is somewhat based on the comic House of M. Regarding her children, I’m aware that in the comics they were actually fragments of Master Pandemonium and they are “re-absorbed” into him at some point but there was also a point where Wanda recreated her kids to deal with the loss AND I know that Dr Strange was frequently sought to help with various Wanda issues. I don’t know about Dr Strange bringing Vision back bc I 1) don’t know about his abilities 2) don’t think that’s a part of the story Marvel is telling. But who freakin’ knows, not I!

4. Regarding Sparky I saw that as proof that Wanda isn’t in total control, she wouldn’t kill her kids dog for an impromptu lesson about growing up (I don’t think?). OR it was a plot device to show that Wanda really can’t revive the dead so what is actually going on with Vision ?

My big hope going into tomorrow is MORE AGNES tbh. I’m sure you know the same theories about her that I do and I AM READY.

[moonraccoon-exe]

Heyyyyy Racc ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) how flustered do you think Gladio would be if he found out Ignis had a twin??.. (sister or brother, your choice! )

Hahahaha, Y E S!!!

I’ve had this here for quite a while but I can’t stop thinking about it and probably won’t. I’ve been laughing at the mere mental images this brings me, and I so have to share something about this!!

First off; Ignis with a twin? HNG, YES.

I’d LOVE both cases, because if it was a sister then we could have some sort of Fem!Ignis at least visually and ASTRALS ABOVE, yes.

But imagine if it was a brother. I think that that would mess with Gladio a little more. No, wait, I just had ideas for both scenario ahaha, awman, I need to write stuff for this! Due to length this only includes Brother but ohman. I’m having so much fun writing this.

Edit: *dEEP BREATH* I ADORED AND LOVED WRITING THIS, this is now one of my new absolute favorites, thank you so much!!!

[Adding a Keep Reading at some point]

Gladio dealing with discovering Ignis has a twin brother (& their adventures after he does):

I’ve been adoring the idea of the situation being like that rumor from Marvel’s Avengers on Chris Evans and his troubles with identifying whether he’s talking with Scarlett Johansson or her stunt actress.

Same happens to Gladio: is this Ignis or is this his twin brother?

First time Gladio interacted with him, he still had no idea Ignis had a sibling, let alone a twin.

Gladio was fourteen.

Ignis, due to his great intellect and potential, was taken to the Citadel since very little, but he couldn’t bring his brother along, so Brother is staying with their Aunt at the Scientia house, while Ignis stays at the Citadel with their Uncle.

Ignis isn’t the most talkative on his personal life and, when young, he was very damn shy, so he didn’t bring up to conversation he has a brother (it either didn’t occur to him or he just was too shy to talk on his private life).

So, despite all the years together as friends, Gladio has literally no idea Ignis has a sibling.

One day, Ignis’ brother was visiting for a proper tour around the Citadel. He waited in the hallway while Ignis went into the bathroom.

Gladio happened to stumble upon him.

“Yo, Iggy! Hey, what are you doing ‘round here? :)”

“Oh. I’m not-”

“I was looking for you, say, I forgot to give you your pen back at school yesterday, so here you go.”

“Thank you :)”

“No worries, Iggy.”

“I’m-”

“*gasps* Oh, no, dad will kill me if I’m late. Sorry. See you later, Iggy!”

“Oh. Well, hurry, I wouldn’t want you to die, big friend from school.”

Gladio was a bit ?? because what the fuck did Ignis just call him, but the almost naive way in which he said the rest made him laugh a lot, so he just shrugged it off and left.

That was literally his first interaction with Ignis’ twin.

Jkssks this idiot.

You cannot judge Gladio, the Scientia have the same bloody hairstyle and both wear glasses.

They’re like waterdrops, except Brother has a darker shade of green in the eyes and a different birthmark.

Gladio continued to live unaware that this was not Ignis.

One day, Ignis was very, very, as in absolutely v e r y sick.

Still, he insisted to go to the Citadel because “he has work to do”.

Brother smacked him.

“LISTEN HERE, I already knew the way you’re going stress would kill you in a year or two, but I can’t believe you want to fasten the process by also throwing yourself into the Stress Pit while agonizing.”

Ignis tried to insist he’s fine and kept it very, very clear he can’t miss work and someone has to do it.

Guess who’s going in his place.

Twin bro is the shit.

Twin bro is taking Ignis’ clothing and going to work in his place so Ignis doesn’t miss his work day but also gets to rest in bed.

It wasn’t in the plan to pretend being Ignis. He just happens to look the same.

Across the day, Bro waves back at “Hello, Ignis”s and “How are you, Ignis?”s and he doesn’t mind.

There’s a few who recognize he’s Brother (king Regis and Noctis, as well as Clarus and Cor), but the majority mistake him by Ignis.

He doesn’t mind nor is he correcting them.

Guess who happened to stumble upon him again.

“HEY, Iggy!! You’re looking good, yesterday you looked kind of bad, are you okay?”

“Oh. Well, Ignis is fine.”

Gladio’s laughing because “haha Ignis is refering to himself in third person.”

“I’m happy. Say, the other day, at my house. Thank you. The way the teacher puts it, it’s ridiculous, but you helped me understand very well, and today I got a 100% on the test.”

“Ah, I’m glad about it! :)”

“Yeah. You know, I used to think tutoring embarassing, but it’s very helpful. I know I’m not awful at school, but you make it a thousand times easier. You’re so smart, how does your head not explode? Nice sweater, by the way. Are these glasses new?”

“Oh? Ah, no. I’ve always had them.”

“Hm? I thought they were black, but I may just be an idiot. Do you want a candy? I saw Monica and she gave me a few.”

“Oh, that’d be nice! :)”

“Here you go. Do you like orange or strawberry better? Don’t tell me. Orange.”

“Hah, yeah :)”

“Nice. Also, did you know about Beric?”

“Who’s Beric?”

“Ahaha, Iggy, you’re extra funny today. Beric from school. Turns out he [blah blah blah]”

Gladio talked long and comfy with him having no idea this isn’t Ignis.

Brother has literally no idea what Gladio’s talking about.

He doesn’t mind, though.

Brother let him call him Ignis and talk with him as he pleased and never corrected him and just agreed or laughed even though he doesn’t understand what is going on.

That night, Brother told Ignis everything that Gladio told him.

“I think he thinks I’m you.”

“Hm…Gladio’s not as silly. He’s very perceptive. He’s got a very sharp eye and great intuition. I guess he must have noticed by now.”

Ignis’ expectations of Gladio are too high.

As time goes and by the time they’re 15 and from then on, sometimes brother goes to the Citadel to help.

Sometimes it’s to replace Ignis when he worries Ignis is stressing too much, sometimes both are around the place attending different duties.

Brother is in charge of minor ordering of archives, messenger activities, etc., while Ignis continues with his major ordering, Council and etc.

Even when both are at the same time at the Citadel Gladio still doesn’t notice there’s a Second Ignis.

The Scientia twins are coming and going everywhere all the time, so they’re barely ever together or in the same place.

So, Gladio only sees one.

“Woah. Iggy? I thought…I thought you were…ahaha, never mind. Good day! :)”

“Hey, Iggy! How did you get here so fast? I last saw you at the hallway of the throne room! Winged feet, huh? :)”

“Oh? They told me you were during Council meeting lessons! What are you doing here? :)”

“Lmao haha Ignis wtf you couldn’t have come here so fast.”

“Ignis, literally what the fuck, I just…around the corner and… *takes a look* *stares at Brother* *stares around* *stares at Brother* How the fuck.”

“Gladio, have you seen Noctis?”

“He’s at the training Hall :)”

“Thank you! *leaves*”

Gladio’s tying his shoelace and stands back up to find Ignis standing in front of him.

Gladio’s flinching and yelping in a jumpscare.

“Hi, Gladio. Excuse me, do you know where Noctis is?”

“Lmao, Ignis, wtf. I just literally told you he’s in the training hall.”

“What? Oh, right. Okay, thanks. *leaves*”

Gladio watches him leave, shakes the head and thinks he’s just hallucinating, so he turns around and goes, only to find Ignis coming from the other hallway a few seconds later.

“Ah, Gladio! I’m sorry, which way is the training hall?”

“IGNIS WHAT THE FUCK.”

“Did I upset you? :’(”

The Scientia twins have literally no idea they’re messing with Gladio.

Gladio still has no idea or clue Ignis has a twin.

Whenever Gladio happens to engage in conversation with Brother, he has no idea it’s Brother.

Literally, Gladio will stand or sit there with him and talk like this is Ignis and call him that.

Brother has long assumed and has it a hundred percent for sure that Gladio’s just kidding when he treats him like it’s Ignis.

He assumed that Gladio knows him and is aware that he’s Ignis’ twin, and both because he doesn’t know his name and because that’s his way of kidding about the whole situation, as if doing this on purpose in some way of laughing at himself for their first interaction, he just calls him Ignis.

Truth is Gladio really thinks he’s Ignis when they’re interacting.

When Gladio’s sixteen he starts growing feelings for Ignis.

He adores just staring at him instead of the chalkboard at school, he really likes his hair and his brain and his feelings and his heart and his eyes and everything about him.

It was eventual, but he figured he really adores the guy and has a crush on him.

“Besides, I feel…Iris, I feel I’m seeing him everywhere all the time. That must mean he’s got me bad.”

Hahahahahahaha, oh Gladio.

Gladio spent most part of his 15′s and part of his 16′s hiding the feelings because “They’re ridiculous, I’ll get over this” but lol nope, it only got worse, to the point he’s agonizingly, desperately, insufferably, profoundly and excruciatingly crushing on Ignis.

Can’t look at him without going red to the ears and entirely stupid.

This state, of course, makes it impossible for him to pay attention and notice there’s two Ignis.

The poor thing.

One day he couldn’t contain the feelings anymore and had to confess so he went straight towads Ignis.

Except that’s not Ignis.

ahahahsdioashdasiohaha this mess, I love it so much.

“Uhm…Ignis…can I talk with you for a moment? >////

“Sure, Gladiolus. What’s wrong?”

“I…I uhm…I was…I was wondering…I mean- no, it’s not- no-”

“:) ?”

It took Gladio veeeeeeery long to get anywhere.

“And I just want to say… >////////

Look at that sixteen year old Gladio. His undercut hairstyle, his still hairless face, so young and smol and inexpert and silly and shy, entirely red in the face and almost sweating from the nervousness, standing in front of Brother, who’s just all  (・・ ) ? holding his clipboard and blinking up at Gladio.

“Listen. You are…you are…the most incredible person that I know. Ignis, I am- I want- I just want to say- you don’t need to pressure or feel engaged or guilty or anything, I just want to say- Ignis I’m- thing is…you are…the way you make me feel. It’s stupid and I’m getting tired of it, because I can’t sleep because I think too much and it’s always you in my head, and I can’t look at you without having brain death, I literally sometimes forget how to speak just because I saw you, and I can’t eat because it tickles so much inside I’d throw up, and I’m…what I what to say is…Ignis just don’t- I don’t- I am-….”

“ (・・ ) ? “

“…Ignis, I really really really really like you like you have no idea and I wanted to offer we go somewhere you’d like!” he bows to him, “I-I have no troubles if you say no!”

There’s a very long and dead silence.

Trembling 16 y.o. Gladio’s still in reverence in front of Brother who’s still all  (・・ ) ?

“…I’m sorry. :’(”

“Why?”

“I…don’t know. I don’t mean to upset you. I just…really like you. And I would really like to go…to go…out? Sometime…someday…anywhere…just as long as…as it’s…with you?” Brother is impressed Gladio’s face has not exploded from how red it is. “Uhm…you don’t…have to say yes if you don’t wanna. Sorry, Ignis.”

There’s another long, dead silence and nobody’s moving.

“…oooooh…you’re- oooh, *gaSPS* GLADIO THAT WAS SO SWEEEEET!! ❤ ”

“Really? :D”

“Yeah, I’m sure he’ll love it!”

wat

Gladio’s now all  (・・ ) ?

why is Ignis referring to himself in third person wtf.

He’s too scared of ruining things between them so he just rolls with it.

“Uhm…yeah?”

“Gladio, that was so sweet, I’m sure he will say yes, just wait and- omg I’ll tell him to go look for you tomorrow, this is so sweet, I had no idea you- *histerical contained giggle* YOU TELL HIM THIS EXACT SAME TOMORROW, it’s so sweet! You’ve got this, IT’LL TURN OUT FINE AND HE WILL SAY YES”

“…??  (・・ ) ??” 

Gladio’s very puzzled and also a bit creeped out.

What just happened

Is that a yes

Brother broke out running because HE’S SO EXCITED OMG IGNIS WON’T BELIEVE THIS

Gladio’s just standing there staring into the void and frowning lightly and feeling so confused he feels lost because

wtf is Ignis doing

Was this his way of telling him “I need to think but I’ll tell you my answer tomorrow”?

“I’ll tell Ignis”.

Wtf.

Ignis

Ignis wtf r u doing

Gladio’s V E R Y confused.

Brother thought that Gladio was rehearsing.

Jjkdsjksdjsfsd THESE IDIOTS ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Brother thought, once he understood what Gladio was asking, that Gladio had wanted to ask Ignis out for a while now, but has been way too shy and can’t gather the courage; as a solution, he thought about approaching Brother and pretend it was Ignis since the beginning, so while he knows this is not Ignis, he’s pretending he is and imagining this is the moment, so he can let it out and get rid of the shyness, so this is his rehearsal for the real thing.

Brother’s expectations of Gladio are too high, too.

The next day Gladio’s going around the Citadel when Ignis appears from a hallway a bit shy like

“Hi, Gladio. Uhm, Kaji told me you wanted to tell me something important, but he refused to tell me-”

“Wait wait wait. Who?”

“Kaji.”

“Ignis, listen, I don’t know what’s with you but you’ve been acting very weird. Listen, if it’s because of what I said yesterday, forget it, really. You don’t have to act like you’re mentally insane or something as crazy.”

“…excuse me?”

“If you just want to say no, say no, no need to invent madness or anything.”

“Gladio, what are you talking about? Kaji said-”

“Who the hell is Kaji?”

“Kaji. Kaji Scientia?”

“….who?”

“My brother?”

Dead silence again before Gladio’s shaking the head. He’s going all dry and cold on Ignis.

“Your brother.”

“Yes. You talked with him yesterday and-”

“Wow. Wow, okay, you’re saying-” sarcastic laugh. “Your brother. Twin, I suppose.”

“Well…yes?”

“Fantastic. Great. This is amazing. I thought you were better than this, Ignis. I’m very disappointed. I understand I’m not your type, but to invent a twin brother just to pretend it wasn’t you I was talking to yesterday? Wow. You, you really are incredible.”

“What?”

“Your sarcasm really knows no limits. How incredible of you.”

Ignis is about to reply, but he doesn’t get to say anything and he’s just frowning at Gladio with confusion when there’s a yell from behind the Shield.

“HEEEEY GUYS! Did he already tell you!? :D”

Gladio’s turning around.

Kaji Scientia walks towards them.

Gladio’s eyes grow so wide his eyeballs almost fall out their sockets, his jaw drops so low it almost touches his chest, and he’s turning to look at Ignis, back at brother, Ignis, brother, and continues until Kaji stands at his other side so Gladio’s standing between the Scientia Twins.

Kaji’s all naive smiles and Ignis is all sarcastic raise of an eyebrow.

It took a second.

The Citadel had never ever before witnessed a louder “WHAT THE FUCK” in all its history.

It takes literally twenty minutes before Gladio can calm enough just to listen and half comprehend.

“IGNIS YOU HAVE A BROTHER!?!?!!? IGNIS YOU HAVE A TWIIIIINNNNN!?!?!?!”

“I thought you knew!”

“YOU LET ME TALK TO YOU ALL THIS TIME LIKE YOU’RE IGNIS AND NEVER CORRECTED ME!?!!??!”

“I thought you knew!”

“I’VE SPENT AN ENTIRE YEAR WITH THE TWO OF YOU IN THE SAME PLACE AND I HAD NO IDEA!?!?!?”

“We thought you knew!”

It’s yet another half an hour before Gladio comprehends better and stops panicking.

“WAIT A- WAIT. WAIT, DOES THAT MEAN THAT-” he turns to look at Ignis. “WHAT I SAID YESTERDAY I SAID…” slowly turns to brother without making eye contact “…I-I….I-I said…to you…”

“It was ADORABLE, you have to repeat the same words to Ignis because hnngffgf.”

“Wait, what was adorable?”

“Gladio wants to conf-”

“NOTHING.”

“Kaji, what was the important thing you said-”

“NO-THING”

“Gladio’s too shy but he wants to ask you-”

“I SAID NOTHING.”

And that’s the story of how Gladio ended up wrestling with poor Kaji Scientia while Ignis smacked Gladio to force him to let go and Gladio’s confused the entire time because he’s fighting an Ignis while another Ignis fights him and how in the world.

Everybody’s making fun of him for the rest of his life.

“I am surprised you only noticed when you had both in front of you. I thought you were an Amicitia but you may as well have been adopted.”

“Dad >:’‘‘( “

“Hah, you didn’t notice before? Pscht, talk about brute.”

“NOCT >:(”

“*insert a Regis joke about this all*”

“…your Majesty :’‘(”

“What a poor eye. And you call yourself a Shield.”

“Cor, stop >:’(”

Tbh it took Gladio a while to stop feeling flustered whenever he interacts with neither of them.

He’s profoundly embarrassed for not having noticed, ofc, but he’s also personally embarrassed with Kaji for not knowing his name or proper existance, and he feels personally bad for Ignis because he doesn’t want Ignis to think he doesn’t care about his personal life, so not knowing something like the fact that he has a twin makes him ashamed of himself.

None of the brothers mind, and they’re both moved by the way Gladio takes this so personally.

“Omg he cares.”

“See, he’s a good choice, say Yes, Ignis.”

“Omg no, I can’t do that.”

“But why, don’t be shy.”

“What if I’m not what he expects?”

“OMg Ignis he’s literally dying for you, he expects nothing.”

“Hnfgnmf, Kaji I can’t.”

“But he’s such a good choice for you, don’t tell me you don’t like him.”

“Well ofc I do but-”

“His face, Ignis.”

“OMG I know he’s so handsome”

“His physic”

“Hnfgmnf yes”

“He cares”

“I KNOW”

“GO TELL HIM YES.”

Basically Kaji is the romance devil on Ignis’ shoulder who whispers to him ‘yes omg do that’ when Ignis doesn’t want to do a thing.

The twin brothers are gossiping on Gladio matters.

After the initial weeks of flustering whenever he sees any of the two, Gladio starts just laughing at the situation and rolling with it.

As time passes, he still confuses them, though.

The twins are now doing it on purpose.

Sometimes Gladio will go with one and talk with him like he’s the other, and he won’t say a thing and will see how long Gladio takes to notice he’s talking to the brother of who he thinks he’s talking to.

“Wait, you’re not Ignis.”

“Ten minutes, two seconds.”

“Why are you writing that?”

“Ignis and I are taking note of how long you take to notice you’re talking with the wrong twin.”

“Wat”

His record is five minutes forty nine seconds.

The twins literally have a list for that.

The only moments the twins break the fun is whenever Gladio wants to get affectionate (if it’s Kaji).

I forgot, ofc Ignis said yes and now they’re dating, how lovely.

So, you know, sometimes Gladio mistakes Kaji by Ignis so he’ll be chilling and talking with him, and sometimes he’ll try to grab his face and smooch, but brother always yelps out like a pterodactyl and shoves Gladio off him.

“GROSS”

“Wha- WAIT YOU’RE NOT IGNIS.”

Kaji’s ace, btw, so no troubles there.

You can understand it’s sometimes super startling for Gladio because he has for sure this is Ignis so

“Haha, aw Iggy. You really have no idea how much I love you…”

“Eeeewwww.”

“…well aren’t you the most affection- WAIT YOU’RE NOT IGNIS”

“Twenty minutes three seconds.”

“Come ‘ere, you idiot! *bear hugs and tries to kiss his face*”

“EWWWWWWWWWWWWW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! S O M E B O D Y   H E L P   M EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

“YOU’RE NOT IGNIS!”

“You’re so cute, Iggy. Come here, you moogle nose, adorable creature, sweet angel, my dearest heart, piece of my soul, part of-”

“UUUUUUGGGGH I AM DISGUSTED.”

“Wow, okay, no need to- *GASPS* YOU’RE NOT IGNIS, DAMMIT”

“Forty minutes, fifty three seconds.”

Ignis plays, too.

“So the other day I was telling him ‘So how do you expect me to know when you’re lying? You were raised a strategist, you’re too good keeping secrets but it’s not always a good thing’, you know”

“Uh huh”

“So I was like, ‘you shouldn’t be keeping things like that from me, you know I’m your boyfriend and your friend’

“Uh huh”

“And he was like all sass and class like ‘it’s not like I make any harm’ you know”

“Uh huh.”

“And then I was- ………….”

“……”

“WAIT YOU’RE NOT KAJI”

“Nineteen minutes, thirty four seconds. Also, your impression of my voice is pretty…unique.”

“So I was like ‘mother of Shiva, Noctis, you can’t do that’ but he was like ‘Eh’”

“Ah hah.”

“And the little shit almost convinces me to go to the arcade and skip training.”

“Oooh.”

“Yeah and I was like “Omg Ignis is going to be so angry at me.”

“Uh huh.”

“And it took a moment and I almost surrender but I didn’t give in to that.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. Just don’t tell Ignis, the mere idea that I considered it will make him angry at me.”

“…..”

“….”

“….”

“….wait yOU’RE NOT KAJI.”

There was this once, omg read it

Gladio thinks he’s with Ignis and he’s ‘made sure’ according to himself, so they’re alone at the training hall and they’re a bit older and hormones are a bit crazy, okay

So some innocent smooching ended up heating up until he was making out with Ignis, and until he had the guy pressed to the wall.

And Ignis is gently biting at his lips and their tongues are a mess, and Ignis may or not have hooked a leg with Gladio’s and Astrals above the kiss is so good.

And then when they break apart it’s just for air and Gladio has the forehead resting on Ignis’ and Ignis then caresses his face and looks at him with dark eyes and some lust and then he says in almost a pur

“I’ve always had this fantasy and temptation. Always.”

“Really?”

“I’m so glad you’re giving in to it, too” so the brown haired in his arms and against the wall hugs him closer to whisper at his ear “Let’s just not tell Ignis. Okay?”

Gladio swears his heart stopped for five minutes.

Needless to say, he immediately broke apart, stared at whoever he’s holding, eyes wide and face pale, and he’s not even able to talk, he just mouths “…really?”, before the other guy gives him a little dark giggle.

Gladio fucking shoved him off himself.

“…you’re not Ignis.”

And another of those playful smiles.

He stepped away pretty roughly and only stared long and long and long before he could say or do anything.

“Kaji. Listen. This should have never…I didn’t- I don’t mean to-. Whatever you thought-…how could you do this? Pretend to be your brother, and then do this to me? And worse, you dare do this to him? Kaji, I don’t feel towards you like I feel towards him and I will never do. He’s…my only one. You look the same, but you’re not the same. So if you thought for a second that I’ve ever wanted…”

Kaji’s looking at him with teary eyes and a moved expression.

Gladio at first took it by sadness and he continued to lecture and nag him and it lasted about five entire minutes before he got an unexpected reaction.

Kaji started smiling.

It was very very clear he’s trying to contain it and he only looks at Gladio and he doesn’t seem ashamed or anything, just very very very amused and trying not to burst into laughter.

And then Gladio catches it.

“….wait…you’re-you’re…”

Scientia burst into laughter.

“Ignis! >:(”

“I’m so sorry, Gladio, dear, ahahahaha!!”

Gladio has the most perfect (ಠ ヘ ಠ) face that has ever existed.

Gladio was  (`ヘ´) all the rest of that day.

Ignis had to feed him Noodles so he could talk to him again and stop being all moody.

Tbh Ignis was particularly and especially cuddly and clingy with him for the following days/weeks, so #WorthIt.

“You care  (´︶`)♡”

“You know, you could have put me to test some other way, now I can’t look at your brother without feeling odd. Thank you for the trauma.”

Ignis regrets nothing.

Him and Kaji have had some good laughs about it.

Back to Gladio sometimes mistaking Kaji for Ignis and trying to be loving with him and Kaji screeching like a pterodatyl:

Every time this happens, Gladio gets super flustered.

He really doesn’t mean to mistake them, it just happens.

So he gets super flustered and embarrassed when he gets affectionate with brother.

He’ll burn red in the face like when he was sixteen, will lower the head, avoid eye contact, and be an apologizing mess.

Gladio never feels more embarrassed than in those moments.

He feels super bad and exalted.

This is Ignis’ damn own brother and Gladio almost smooches his nose, omg, earth please swallow me I cannot cope with the shame I am terrible

It’s already bad to have Kaji walking on in them cuddling

Ofc Gladio gets super mega incredibly flustered when he mistakes him for Ignis.

Gladio had no idea those levels of embarassment are possible.

They’re so big they stalk him whenever he thinks about any of those moments.

At least Kaji takes it the fun way and screeches.

Sometimes the Scientia twins like to go full fake drama on him if it happens that Ignis walked on in Gladio mistaking Kaji for him.

“*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH*”

“OMG YOU’RE NOT IGNIS”

Ignis, from the door: “*GASPS* Gladiolus!! You’re cheating on me!!”

“IGNIS! NO, I’M- *sigh* Omg please no don’t do this to me again”

“And with my own brother! :’‘(”

“Ignis, he’s forcing me!! :’‘‘(”

“Oh no! The misery! You cheat on me with my own brother and you’re forcing him into this!”

“Guys, this has never been funny >:’(”

“Oh Ignis. Brother of my blood. I cannot look at you anymore.”

“Oh, brother of my soul, do not talk like that. It was not your fault.”

“Oh, brother of my heart-”

“GUYS >:’‘(”

“- please *unnecessarily super mega dramatic* forgive me.”

“I forgive thee, brother.”

“Oooh, Ignis. You merciful soul *hugs his knees*”

“COME ON THIS IS GETTING OLD”

“Brother, shall we go and comfort each other and leave this heretic to his own luck?”

“Yes, we shall. Give me your arm.”

“Guys, please”

And that’s how the Scientia twins leave for an ice cream leaving Gladio behind just for fun.

How has Gladio not gone mad

“Excuse me, Iggy-”

“Not Iggy.”

“Sorry, Kaji. Uhm, Iggy- wait you’re Kaji.”

“Try again.”

“…so…Ignis? I- wait no, Kaj- no, wait I am confused.”

This is usual.

“Ig-”

“Not Ignis.”

“Sorry. *is about to leave* Wait. Are you sure you’re not Ignis trying fool me to think you’re not Ignis just because you’re busy?”

“You’ve got me. I’m Ignis.”

“…wait are you Kaji covering your brother?”

“*sigh* You’ve got me again. It’s Kaji here.”

“…wait.”

This is super usual.

Sometimes Kaji helps in their relationship.

He’s Ignis’ confidant, so Ignis tends to tell him most of his stuff he doesn’t talk to others.

Stuff from his relationship with Gladio, for example.

Kaji knows both mean only good for each other and that Gladio’s a good guy, but he’s also aware misunderstandings and accidents happen.

He’s also very painfully aware of how much Ignis can ignore himself or think himself obstacle or a bother, so brother understands sometimes Ignis doesn’t open up to Gladio in matters that he should and only tells Kaji.

Guess who can’t keep the mouth shut.

Kaji wants their relationship to work out bc of how aware he is that these two are sincere with each other, so he assumes it’s fine to sometimes give a hand into it.

This one day, Gladio’s going around and Ignis approaches him, looking a bit embarrassed/upset.

“Uhm…Gladio…I uhm…here.”

He’ll just hand a folded paper and leave.

The note contains a polite message from Ignis saying something like ‘It’s all okay, but I didn’t like your comment about (X) last night. It made me feel a little sad. Sorry I tell you via this. I’m not upset, I only wanted to let you know. - Your Iggy’.

Did I mention Kaji has mastered how to fake Ignis’ handwriting and that that was not Ignis?

Gladio’s usually going to look for Ignis, apologize, and hug him.

Ignis has literally no idea it’s Kaji’s doing.

This is usual.

It doesn’t really matter; things get solved and his relationship with Gladio improves.

And the best part is that this eventually gives Ignis the confidence so he himself opens up to Gladio later in the future.

Best brother award goes to Twin Brother.

After entire years dealing with the Scientia twins messing with him both accidentally and on purpose, there’s a point where Gladio hits the limits that are past his limits and he can’t deal with this anymore.

“YOU TWO DO SOMETHING, YOU’RE TWENTY AND STILL LOOK THE SAME, OMFG, CHANGE STYLES, NE OF YOU BECOME GOTH OR SOMETHING, OR CUT YOUR HAIR, OR WEAR LENSES, OR SOMETHING, YOU CANNOT BE TWENTY AND STILL BE IDENTICAL FFS.”

“You’re right. It’s supposed that once we hit adulthood we’re supposed to shift and transform and look entirely different from our TWIN BROTHER.”

“Do not sass me, Ignis >:(”

“I am not Ignis.”

“DO NOT SASS ME, KAJI.”

“No, I am Kaji, he tricked you.”

“THAT’S IT, I’M DONE.”

Gladio’s grabbing the first one he reaches and starts messing with him.

Thing is this Scientia’s offering fight, so they end up wrestling and the event repeats itself and Gladio ends up wrestling one while the other smacks him, except this time he has no idea who is who.

Gladio didn’t reach to hurt, he aimed to mess with the hair.

“Ew Gladiolus what are you doing!? Let go of me, no, no!! What are y- eewww, why saliva!! Stop it this instant, I’m going to- kfgjnf, no!! What are you doing to my hair, stop!!”

And that’s the story of how Gladio invented Ignis’ sticking-upwards hairstyle.

This is the only way he can difference the Scientia twins from afar, understand him.

….sometimes the twins exchange hairstyles during a day.

You know what’s also very usual?

“Not that I complain or anything, Gladio, but all this talk on what you’re planning to get Ignis for his birthday makes me feel a little left out. You forgot mine.”

“*GASPS* NO WAY, KAJI, ARE YOU SERIOUS!? When was it!?”

“You don’t remember? ;(”

“Kaji, no, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I forgot, I’m-”

“….”

“…”

“…”

“You goddamn idiot, your birthday is the same fucking day.”

Kaji likes to make a drama out of what Gladio gifts him on their birthday.

“Of course. Ignis’ is better.”

“Of course not, just the thematic is different.”

“OF COURSE. Who says I don’t want a gift like that?”

“Kaji, he’s my boyfriend, I can’t gift you the same things.”

“Yes of course, because nobody loves poor Kaji.”

“Kaji you’re asexual.”

“Leave me alone to die out of loneliness and isolation.”

Just as a side note, imagine Scientia twins musical duo

I THINK I’M BREATHING FOR THESE BROTHERS I’m loving the visuals omfg.

Gladio likes but also hates when both brothers pamper him just to mess with him.

Like he has Ignis kissing his face and Kaji stroking his hair.

He has Ignis playfully biting at his ear and Kaji massaging his hand.

He has Ignis hugged to a side and Kaji to the other. Well, they are hugging him.

He has Ignis piggy-back style and Kaji’s clinging from his leg.

Ignis is smooching his face and he’s got Kaji koala-hugged to his back.

Too much love.

They’re identical.

Stop.

Romantically, Gladio loves only Ignis.

Visually, the gods damn, he has a pleasure buffet when he sees the Scientia twins together.

Kaji trained for Crownsguard too, so while not acrobatic like Ignis, he’s got the same body, basically.

Kaji’s identical to his boyfriend, were you expecting for Gladio to not like him at least visually?

Omfg how dare are these brothers so attractive.

You know the kind of impossible fantasies people have, as in, the one fantasy (in any sense) that they know impossible so it’s not a goal? Only just that, an impossible fantasy? As in something very wild they know they won’t look for, just fantasize about?

Gladio’s is, but of course, having these two for threesome.

Again, that’s only in his mental archives of Impossible Fantasies, not a goal and certainly not something he’ll die without.

Still, imagine the possibilities.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Maybe they Scientia agree.

I wanted to do Sister too, but I gave all my imagination to Brother so currently I don’t have things for Sis :(

But I have to point this out:

Gladio’s very, very, v e r y flustered about Ignis’ twin sister because

“This is what Ignis looks like. WITH BOOBS.”

You can tell Gladio’s constantly avoiding her because he turns red and all idiot and fights not to stare at her boobs.

It’s not her boobs, it’s not them why he’s staring.

It’s the idea of “this is what Ignis looks like boobiefied” what has him staring.

But ofc he can’t explain that to Twin Sister. But also can’t lie with “I like your boobs”.

I mean he likes them.

But it’s not that why he’s-

See, this is the kind of mess Gladio’s trying to avoid.

…Gladio may or may not have the same impossible fantasy here.

Do not judge me, have you looked at the Scientia twins!?!? Geez.

Hahaha, imagine Sis cuts her hair short.

So she looks even more like Iggy now.

“THIS IS WHAT IGNIS LOOKS LIKE WITH BOOBS.”

Why is Gadio thinking so much about that, anyway

This was so much fun to write, you literally don’t have an idea how much I enjoyed it, ahahah, aaaaaaaaaaah!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS GOLDEN ENTRY, I’m loving all the visuals and I hope you did so too! o(≧▽≦)o

PS: ‘Kaji’ means Fire in japanese, or so said the internet. :)

Edit: Look at these two arts for the Scientia twins! Here & here!