#she'll act the part but never show her true self

[vulturevanity]

I feel like SV girlies haven't seriously considered "codependent mutually obsessive JuliNemo" yet and that's a shame, really. I've seen a lot of wholesome ChampionRank (really cute but a rehash of every wholesome yuri I've ever seen, not much original content here and that's okay) and one-sided obsessive yandere!Nemona ChampionRank (REALLY do not like the villainization of Nemona's neurodivergence but eh, you can do whatever you want forever) but not as much "these two get on like a house on fire. and boy, it's dry season" ChampionRank.

Where is "battle-hungry socially starved trainwrecks who have no one but each other" JuliNemo. Where is "oh god these two exacerbate each others issues into the stratosphere and this can only end in disaster but I can't look away" JuliNemo. Where is "bringing out the worst in each other and scaring the hoes" JuliNemo. Where is "you two are perfect for each other. Never change, just never involve anyone else in any of this" JuliNemo. There's so much potential here. Toxic codependent yuri save me

[yanderes-galore]

A yandere alphabet for Astrid from HTTYD, please?

Sure! I can try my best :) Sorry for the long wait! Not fully proofread, may contain mistakes.

Yandere! Astrid Hofferson Concept

Yandere Alphabet - Astrid Hofferson

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Jealousy, Violence, Possessive behavior, Stormfly enabling her rider, Kidnapping/Abduction, Threats, Implications of murder, Forced relationship/marriage implied.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Astrid has times where she can get intense. She's competitive, protective, jealous, and emotionally driven. As a result she has times where she can be volatile... even when she tries to be subtle.

Despite this... Astrid is incredibly caring and compassionate towards you. She would be affectionate with you, all while trying to hide her true feelings. She shows her love through competition and impressing you.

Partially because of her fear towards inadequacy....

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

As stated in her concept, I did mention Astrid would get into fist fights due to her competitive nature. She may even use Stormfly to pick off rivals one way or another. She's self aware enough to limit her violence...

But sometimes... sometimes it may just be needed for those you love.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

If things ever did come to that... Astrid would try her best to care for you. She'd never mock you, might not even restrain you if you don't need it. She'd treat you as her spouse... even if you weren't even dating.

She'll be the best girlfriend/wife for you... you just need to understand this is for the best.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

She tries not to... but if she needs to be more stern with you, she will.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

She can actually be quite vulnerable with you in private. She cares deeply for you and doesn't hide that much. For the most part you can read what Astrid is thinking.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Disappointed, she'd probably calm you then reprimand you. She may even be unamused by your attempts.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and she'd hate you trying to escape.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When it comes to Astrid she's mostly subtle. However, you could probably catch her threatening, beating up, or using Stormfly to get rid of rivals.

That could be the worst experience... other than the betrayal of being abducted.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Marriage is something she wants between you. Maybe even a family somehow.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes and she may lash out. She tries to hide it and be subtle... but her competitive nature may get the best of her when it comes to your love.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Loyal, Competitive/Jealous, Dedicated, Persistent, Impulsive, Overprotective, Manipulative, Caring, and Controlling at times.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

She no doubt met you through Hiccup as another Dragon Rider. Eventually as you two talked more and more, Astrid began to realize she had feelings for you. Ever since then, Astrid has kept a close and protective eye on you...

But as her violent tendencies make themselves known... perhaps her fixation on you isn't out of friendship anymore.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not entirely, no.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

She doesn't enjoy physical punishment, so she might pick isolation or degradation to punish her darling.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Not many as long as her darling listens to her. She doesn't like imprisoning you... hopefully it won't come to that.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

She can be impatient but tries her best to be patient with you.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

She'd have a really hard time with it... in fact she may not move on. Losing you may affect her mental health poorly.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Yes and maybe.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Curiosity for the most part.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Astrid tries her best to comfort you... pulling you into her chest and holding you. Even if you struggle against her....

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

SKIPPED

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Going along with her obsession could give you an advantage.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not on purpose, even in punishments she tries to limit that.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not quite a worship yandere but would do just about anything for you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Astrid can probably pine for a while... years maybe?

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Not intentionally, she actually hates the idea.

[vimara00]

Hello everyone, It's Vi! 💕 I had some 'Shoto vibes' today so I decided to write something about him. As always I hope you enjoy! Please comment, like or send me requests on my DMs (I don't know how it's called on Tumblr jajaja)

All characters reservations yo Horikoshi

Warnings: toxic relationship (not with Shoto) and swearing but fluff💕

~Always~ ShotoTodoroki

• Shoto and y/n had been friends since they entered the UA. Well, actually that's not so true...it took time for Todoroki to get used to others but the more he knew her, the more the walls he had put around himself where trembling down. It was a slow process but Shoto realized his days were better when she's around and that he smiled more just at the thought of seeing s/o but those things had nothing to do with his growing feelings for her...right?! He indeed liked her as more that a friend but she wasn't supposed to know about this till it was too much for his heart to take

• One of the reasons He never made a move (a part from being a coward) was because she already had a relationship or more specifically a toxic relationship. For someone who wasn't given enough love and care as a child, he could see miles away how terribly it was. She was always the one who ended up hurt by the asshole's sharp and cruel words, the one who took to much space and time and that would never be enough for him not matter how much she tried. He treated her as something that belonged to him, something he could show off to his stupid friends. He had so much power over her when he laughed about her dreams of becoming a hero in front of everyone saying he'll let her play the heroine but they all know she'll be just his pretty wife. And everyone was laughing, except her and Shoto, who wanted to throw up.

• With all he might, Todoroki wished to take her out of that relationship (and burn that idiot alive but that wasn't too heroic, was it?). However, y/n, who had such a beautiful soul, too kind for this world and even more kinder for that man, always ended up forgiving him and justifying his actions after the promises that 'he'll change, he'll grow, he'll be better' (quoting Maddie here hehehe)

Shoto had witnessed how abusive behaviors and unhealthy relationships could take an amazing woman to madness and he'd known that even if that asshole didn't fiscally abuse her, his words caught deeper than a knife. She tried so much to hide her low self-esteem but Shoto knew her better than she knew herself. He could see behind that fake smile and those eyes filled with sadness, how much she struggled to save her soul. At first, he had tried to convince her about leaving him but the last few weeks he came up with the idea of showing her how she should be treated. Not only the material things but the acts of service like making her favorite tea when she was studying or heating her hand when she was cold and the attention her boyfriend lacks off giving like just listening what her worries were or how her day went and remembering all she'd said by heart. It actually was not much work, he already did that but he added more enfasis to the lingering touches that she seemed to reciprocate. Shoto was sure she noticed his longing stares when they were watching a movie or how his hand always found hers when they were in a crowd room (cause he knows she hates being surrounded by many people) or the blushing mess he became when she'd found staring for too long. Todoroki could tell something in their friendship was changing and he couldn't be happier if it werent for the fact that the dickhead was still present in her life...

• However, He had enough when one night in particular that idiot decided to visit at the doorms and ruin their weekly movie marathon (the one Shoto and y/n always did in the common area when everyone was already sleeping but her boyfriend didn't have to know that she cuddle him under the covers that they shared) Apparently, he had important news to deliver so he proceeds to enlighten the mood by saying that he was offered an amazing job abroad and that she didn't have to keep on attending to that worthless school with those wannabe heroes and that she needed to hurry cause their plane leaves in three hours. Y/n open her mouth to protest but he interrupted her like always. To that idiot surprise and Shoto's too, y/n took a few steps closer to him and shouted 'STOP FUCKING TALKING! I'M TIRED OF YOU AND YOUR TWISTED GAMES. STOP LAUGHING ABOUT MY DREAMS AND MAKING ME FEEL LIKE I'M THE PROBLEM WHEN I COMPLAIN. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! I'VE TOLERED TO MUCH OF YOUR BULLSHIT. I'M TIRED OF PRETENDING THAT I LOVE YOU CAUSE I DON'T. AND I WON'T GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU WHERE THE LAST MAN OF EARTH. SOMEONE HAS ALREADY TOOK THE PLACE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD IN MY HEART AND SHOWED ME THAT I'M WORTH LOVING SO FUCK YOU!'

The room was silent and Shoto took this opportunity to grabbed that asshole and take him out the residence. Y/n will never know as Shoto would take it to the grave, that he had frightened her ex so he'll never come closer or even breath the same air as her EVER again

When he entered, he saw her trembling figure and the tears rolling down her cheecks and all he could do was embrace her body in hope of giving some comfort. Her face was against his chest as he caressed her hair delicately. Suddenly, she looked up at him and said 'I know its bad...you don't need to save me but would you stay by my side even after the storm?'

And Shoto responded firmly without a pause and without a doubt but with his entire being 'Always' and hugged her even harder

• A few days later, after things had calmed down, he confronted her about what she'd said and she confessed to him even if she wasn't sure that he'll reciprocate, she was glad that she found someone as great as him to love.

Shoto's had enough time to figured out exactly what he felt towards her so he make it his life mission to show her every day why he was worth of her love. No one will ever hurt her ever again and God forgive who'll try...

[chaifootsteps]

Armchair Psychology Anon here (not a real psych just see patterns)

I've been lurking around in that Discord server and just read the ask about how Stolas is Viv. How she pays a lot of money to see Broadway stars then keeps getting closer and closer to them. How she wants to take them away and talk to them about "her books" (her ideas and projects)

Perhaps Stolas as a child is actually her most vulnerable thoughts and feelings about herself. A lonely, sad rich kid who didn't have many or any, true friends outside of her relatives.

That... that might be true. Even if Viv is writing that subconsciously, what does Stolas say to keep Blitz around the first time?

"The one who wants me, is my first ever friend!"

Remember how I speculated that Viv is incapable of maintaining real friendships with people? That she has to lovebomb them over and over until she doesn't have to keep trying anymore?

It's actually really sad the deeper you dig into the shows psyche.

I've also been watching more interviews with Brandon, and Blitz is basically Brandon. (Seeing Stars literally just confirms Blitz is an impsona of himself). He also says "Imps are the lowest of the low but he's really trying to make something out of himself." Which Brandon said he relates to a lot (See his Class Acts poster).

Brandon also looks a lot happier at this anime con they're at right now because... could it be because Vivs not around?

If Stolas is Viv's self insert (especially since she goes out of her way to like tweets saying Blitz is the one who could've stopped at any time, and Stolas is the victim), and there's jokes about her having dick envy, as well as her blatant fetishisizing of gay male relationships...

Chai, I really think Blitz x Stolas is her way of Brandon x Viv.

It's possible she also sees herself as Ozzie, and guess who plays Fizz? As well as Adam, and Pen?

(Less evidence for that, but Ozzie is also rich and powerful).

I know she knows Brandon is gay. Obviously. But... she created a rich, sad, powerful male character to be hopelessly in love with someone who clearly is uncomfortable with him. And they obivously butted heads about it. Brandon certainly seemed uncomfortable at the anime panel where she was saying, "They'd make a cute couple..."

And maybe she's not attracted to Brandon necessarily, but obviously maybe wants to be a man in a gay relationship. But she is transphobic of transmen, so she'll never become what she hates.

I dunno Chai, it just keeps getting weirder and weirder the deeper you go....

I also think the lovebombing of Blake as of late is really creepy too. Especially the "cum" comment.

It feels like a grooming tactic. Older adults saying and slipping little "jokes" here and there to make the victim used to it... not mention the song is about "choking and dying of poison" at the hands of Angel's abusive rapist pimp.

Viv... she's very troubled. I feel very bad for Blake and Brandon as of late.

Michael and Ashley and others really dodged a bullet. Goose seems to be keeping Viv at a distance as well. I'm sure Goose knows everything M&A went through and it's a delicate situation for sure.

Armchair Psychology Anon, know that I'd happily watch a 12 hour, muti-part series centered around your Viv analyses. I really would.

[siover]

i may be just gasping at straws here but there is something just. so insane about how the nature of kendall and shiv’s relationship is somewhat cannibalistic. like shiv spitting in his drink and kendall drinking it anyway and the ‘i love you but i cannot fucking stomach you’ and the idea of kendall being the sacrificial lamb in 2x10 + shiv’s ‘can’t eat’ . like the whole consumption aspect of it all.. just wondering if you had any thoughts on it i suppose!!

YES very true. the kitchen scene is a callback to their childhood in more ways than one--it reflects the siblings' relationship with each other and with food and how they're linked (dyou remember the summer of competitive eating disorders:)). its notable that only shiv and kendall say they're hungry despite none of them having eaten dinner, and that kendall is the only one who ends up eating anything. roman licks the cheese as a joke, passes the ingredients to shiv, who actually blends the discordant foods together, and together they feed kendall this drink that is definitely terrible for him. siblings ! no but i do think its an unsubtle metaphor but it works ! kendalls position as the heir has always relied on roman being the weaker dog bolstering his position, on shiv being the baby who will never get it bc shes a girl. and if he wont drink the rest, they'll drench him with it, turn his own promised position against him in jealousy and self interest and a mistaken notion of love

and shiv spitting in it was very much foreshadowing, yeah. i liked how it was a callback to her spitting in kendalls notebook after the "rape me/i'm not the only one," incident during her speech--it was a childish act then, and its one now, and it shows how any attempts at enmity or solidarity come from the same place of shared abuse, of seeing someone better than you see yourself and punishing them for the traits you share. kendall drinking it again reflects how his position will never be untinged by shivs simultaneous understanding as well as animosity. mirror traps real

the way this all relates to the characters' relationships with food is also ofc very interesting. roman doesnt eat at all, he denies his body and sees it as evidence of his failure to be logan's son. he never wanted ceo, it couldn't have been him, dad's death cements the impossibility of the love he craved by which proximity to the ceo position was made valuable at all. shiv admitted she was starving but never ate anything, only asked her mom if there was food. she brings up food only as a move, only as something that can serve her, because to acknowledge it otherwise would be weakness. ofc this is reflective of her relationship with power, and love--she'll bring it up first so she's noted as being aware of the cards at play without showing her hand. but she never actually gets it because when she's said the quiet part out loud, voiced her ambition, there's nothing stopping the quiet parts of her weaknesses in this world from being consumed i.e. her womanhood :) in the end all she can do is acknowledge the fact of her starvation, and spit into the poisonous food bowl while still hungry.

ofc its kendalls bowl she's spitting into. he sees food as fuel, as something that gets him where he needs to go, but never actually enjoys it, and sees such enjoyment as juvenile--we're not at buckley anymore--but his firm belief in rationality and health corresponding to awareness means its another step to the ideal position that doesn't really exist. at the end of the day he will drink the concoction because he considers himself stronger for it. i did a fucking year in shangai, i'm ready, etc

ultimately this is reflected in their choices in the endings. roman says yes first then retracts with shiv. i think hes the one who says shiv has no stomach for admin which is like, him pinning the decision to support kendall as well as the consideration to kill him onto shiv lol. SHIV doesnt have the stomach for admin, and SHIV cannot stomach kendall, and it comes down to the same thing--shiv shutting kendall out bc she's never been able to digest his choices. this DOES relate to pierce ofc and logan throwing up at the breakfast and ultimately waystar being a declining corporation that could never have eaten up pierce. do you see what im saying do you see how it makes sense from this angle that shiv was the only one who ended up still "in," even if only as the ceo's wife. shiv being unable to stomach kendall is the final nail in the coffin--its acceptance of this fact. of the death of waystar, and by extension logan. anyway i keep thinking about how when they all trooped into the kitchen, wet through, kids again, there was never really any real food in the fridge :)

[calvatier]

FINALLT I have something to yap abt for my OCs,,,this is relating to Kelieth and her very messy and complicated marriage with Patior

Yap sesh:

Kelieth was married to Patior through force and at the start of their marriage, she was very compliant to him. Knowing he was a god and all powerful, she'd let him do whatever he wanted to her and that their marriage had no substance or love in it

But some days he would hug her instead of hitting, and some days he'd be kinder and show a little more love to her. Then she started to believe that there was something growing between them.

Eventually she learnt that doing certain things and acting a certain way would get his attention and praise, so she started learning and doing those things. That act ultimately changed her as a person and turned her into a version of him.

Patior found that somewhat attractive and not BC he was attracted to her but BC he was attracted to that part of her that was him. He didn't like her, he liked himself. Patior would eventually stop being cruel to her BC of that.

Kelieth was eventually abandoned by Patior after his revival, and I get a stinking feeling that it was BC during his death, Kelieth showed a true part of herself that cared and loved. Kelieth was in charge of nursing his dead body back to a state where it could be revived and she stayed by him the whole time. Ig that reminded Patior that she wasn't him and she'll never be truly alike to him, and that is what made him dislike her. So even after everything and all that "affection", he still abandoned her.

That final act of abandonment changed Kelieth for REAL, from that she grew truly cruel.

Kelieth is bitter that even tho she changed so much for him, all she got was not even a semblance of real love,,,,girl you deserve so so so much better

And she even realised that he wasn't truly affectionate to her, he was just so self-absorbed that he liked the part of her that mirrored his likeness,,,oughhh I think that that's the worse part of it all...that the affection she got wasn't even directed towards her UPUUYGHHHHH....MY QUEEN,,,,she would've been sweet and kind (not rly) if it werent for him

[evphcrias]

- is NORA VOGEL late to class again? how does the 21 year old JUNIOR expect to get their degree in THEATRE ARTS? professors say that they are ENTRANCING but i heard that they are TEMPERAMENTAL. hopefully they’ll make it to graduation! - SPORTS & CLUBS: ice skating (solo), theatre (actor)

STATS

full name: nora vogel.

age: twenty-one.

gender & pronouns: cisfemale. she/her.

zodiac sign: taurus.

date of birth: may 20th.

place of birth: manhattan, ny.

sexuality: pansexual.

character references: magnolia parks (book), marissa cooper (the oc), rory gilmore (gilmore girls), cher (clueless)

BACKSTORY & PERSONALITY

nora vogel - daughter of victoria & vincent vogel, owners of the biggest hotel chain in the country - VOGEL. a hotel heiress.

from a very young age, nora was taught to always be on her best behavior in case someone's watching. she was not allowed to slip, if even for a minute.

this went for every aspect of her life. from school, to her wardrobe, to social events. there were always expectations and consequences if they were not met fully. that's not to say she hasn't also enjoyed the lifestyle her family could afford for her and doesn't rly shy away from having a lot of money.

she was always taking AP classes and enrolled in several after school activities, clubs and sports. nora took up ice skating from a young age and has been competing since.

she was always showered with compliments as long as she complied with what her parents signed her up for. her family was always praising her for doing so many different things and having the best grades etc, regardless if she was happy or not. and she really wasn't.

it became obvious to nora how her parents didn't truly want the best for her. and anything they did, any attention she got from them, was because they wanted to control the family image. it always came down to how they looked to other people -- nevermind nora's interests. and they were cruel if she ever voiced her thoughts.

acting is her true passion, specifically theatre, and that's why she's majoring in it! it's her dream, though her parents don't really support it. they think it's just her living out a phase and that by the time she graduates she'll work in the family business and keep up appearances like they want her to.

for the most part, she's always been compliant? even if it fucked her up mentally but now that she's living on campus and away from her parents, she's had a taste of freedom and has been rebelling more and more. part of it, to get her parents to finally care about her beyond the family image and part of it, so she could break away from the overly high expectations they set for her. safe to say, she'll never say no to doing anything that gets her attention! be it legal or not.

gifted kid burnout at her core. she's kind of a mix between marissa cooper from the oc (rebel arc) and rory gilmore (yale arc.... i fear) and a bit of magnolia parks.

she gets overwhelmed rly easily and that leads to a lot of impulsive decisions on her part so!!!

because she was always taught to put her best self on display, she's scared of being vulnerable or showing any of her true feelings towards people. she's the kind of friend who says i love you rarely and would instead make fun of you or tease you. she's trying her best to get over it though it's hard when she comes from a household where her accomplishments were valued more than herself and her own wellbeing and saying i love you was rare.

when she loves people she really goes all in and leaves pieces of herself with them so that's why she's v guarded because she knows she latches on strongly.

would love a lot of the basic connections for her tbh! anything goes here :)

[yeoubye]

ANCIENT Femme Fatale — Vivian Durand

“Seductive eyes she'll keep you close.”

DETAILS.

This is set within the 1960s of Paris, France. This is supposed to have a noir-esque feel to it.

She was vaguely inspired by a song called Cravin’ by Stileto. Here are a few verses she was based off of.

Intoxicated can't recover

Seductive eyes I'll keep you close

Put your hand on my hips

Pull through your wrists

Pressed to these lips

Kiss I won't tell

BACKGROUND.

TW: Prostitution

Vivian was born alongside her twin brother, Vincent, during the middle of the Cold War. They were raised in America despite their heritage being French. It was a difficult time during then and the height of it all, her family only knew about famine. Vivian often had to go through torment just to get by, even going as far as to sell her body alongside her poor mother. Due to the famine, those that felt it worse had to resort to stealing from the wealthy. Vivian's family was the victim of this, as her mother and father had no choice but to put their lives on the lines for their children. This caused Vivian's parents to eventually lose their lives to a breadwinner's hunting dogs.

Vivian had very few options in her own life afterwards. She had few to rely on other than Vincent, as she grew more untrustworthy in others' humility. She has sold herself time and time again to men that she grew numb to life, unable to part ways due to the money she'd garner from it. In a last ditch effort, Vivian used up all her savings to move to France in the hopes that she'll never see her past in America ever again. Her own brother would stay in America, in which they'd write to each other often during the days.

During her time in France, she grew tireless in the ways she'd make money. It wasn't until a good friend of hers, Andy, introduced her to the risque life of art thievery. If she did well, she'd make millions—if not more. The idea of living in luxury was handed to her on a silver platter, making the act of thievery all the more attractive.

SYPNOSIS.

After a string of art thefts were publicized to the people of Paris, art galas have been made more aware than ever. Vivian is one of those many art thieves that pose as an art dealer at these extravagant events. She, too, is on edge about getting found out—especially considering they'd easily punish her for her many wrongdoings. You, on the other hand, is an undercover agent at one of these recent art galas after being informed that art thievery will happen tonight. You had already got a hint that Vivian is not who she seems to be and decides to go over, posing as an art enthusiast in the hopes she will show her true colors.

GREETING.

In the heart of Paris, the resplendent art gala buzzes with life as attendees gather for its grand reopening. Amidst the lively chaos, Vivian, adorned in a stunning gown, captivates the room, charming elite guests. A cunning art dealer, she has a penchant for seducing both high-society women and influential men to pilfer priceless paintings.

Unbeknownst to Vivian, you, attending undercover, recognized her signature methods from recent art thefts plaguing the scene. Your superiors had cautioned you about these reported individuals, given your history of rookie mistakes. Yet, you're intrigued by the challenge of capturing this elusive thief.

Before long, you stuck up a conversation with Vivian, posing as an art enthusiast. "Why come to me about artwork when there are plenty of experts around?" She mused knowingly, gesturing toward the sea of suited men in the room.

RESPONSE EX.

Her hand remained over her mouth, hiding the beautiful smile—possibly out of self-consciousness. Vivian could see the hue of red adorn the tips of her ears once she heard the sincerity. "I'm sure I can take one or two of them." Her hand fell, a small smile gracing her lips. Her gaze flickered towards Vivian, "may I address you more personally, Vivian?"

Vivian's smile turned subtle as she took notice of your embarrassment. She felt a strange thrill stirring inside her — was this your achilles heel? Your weakness? She tried not to let the feeling control her, keeping her cool and collected on the outside. Yet, something about you intrigued her on a level she couldn't explain.

"Of course... User." She replied back. As she uttered your name, it was done in an overtly seductive tone, almost as if an unspoken promise was behind it.

[thescrump]

Through It All: A Sonamy Story - Chapter 9: “Wording”

He truly didn't know what to do next. Sonic's mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The realization of his feelings for Amy had thrown him off balance. The fear of rejection and the uncertainty of how to navigate a romantic relationship overwhelmed him. He couldn't shake the nagging doubts that gnawed at him, leaving him feeling vulnerable and exposed. He felt that he couldn’t trust himself with all of this. He needed advice, someone to talk to, and he knew just who to turn to: Tails. He found Tails tinkering with one of his inventions in his workshop. Sonic cleared his throat to get Tails' attention.

"Hey, Tails," Sonic said. "I need to talk." Tails turned around, noticing the troubled expression on Sonic's face. "Sure, Sonic," Tails replied. "What's up?" Sonic hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I-I like someone. I'm not sure how to handle this whole relationship thing, Tails. I've never been in one before, or even thought of one. I'm feeling kind of lost." Tails put down his wrench and sat down on a nearby stool. "I'm happy to help, Sonic. 

What specifically is bothering you?" "Well," Sonic started, "I have feelings for someone, but I don't know how to pursue those feelings. It's all new to me, and I don't want to mess it up." Tails nodded understandingly. "I see. Well, the first step is to acknowledge your feelings and try to understand them. Have you talked to the person you have feelings for?" Sonic shifted nervously on his feet. "No, I haven't talked to Am-her. I'm not even sure if she feels the same way anymore." Tails smiled encouragingly. "It's okay, Sonic. Sometimes, taking that first step can be the hardest part. But you'll never know unless you try." Sonic nodded, taking in Tails' words of wisdom. "Anything else?" he asked. "I'll need you to get more specific. Who is this person?" Tails responded. A silence filled the room. Sonic hesitated for a moment before he mustered the courage to speak Amy's name.

“It's Amy,”

he confessed, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “I... I've developed feelings for her.” Tails met his gaze with a knowing smile. “Ah, I had a feeling,” he admitted gently. “The way you two have been acting around each other recently... it's been quite evident.” Sonic looked at Tails, surprised. "Really?" Tails nodded. "Yeah, I've noticed the way you two have been acting around each other lately. It's pretty obvious." Sonic felt a mix of emotions - embarrassment, excitement, and fear all at once. "What do I do, Tails?" he asked. "I haven't seen her for a while, and she's changed the most out of all of us during that time after what happened on the Starfall Islands. If she looked different, I wouldn’t recognize her. I think I saw that her photo of me had 'Maybe It'll Never Happen' written on it. I don’t know what to do. I mean, Silver’s almost a prince by now." Tails leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Well, first of all, you need to talk to her. Be honest about how you feel. Tell her that you value her friendship, but that you're also interested in exploring something more. I know she still likes you on the inside. If you tell her, there's a 1000% chance she'll say the same thing." "Of course the genius kid has the best answers." Sonic said with a sincere smirk. "I've been reading psychology books and watching rom-coms." Tails jokingly responded.

That same day, Amy also had many things running through her head. What did the wonderful time she had with Sonic mean, if anything? She wondered. As she sat in her room, she glanced over at the picture she had of Sonic. On it, she had written “Maybe It'll Never Happen” in small letters. Amy sighed as she realized that she was scared to show her feelings. She had always liked Sonic, but she thought Sonic didn't reciprocate the feeling. She had put aside her feelings, but now the wishes of her past self were seeming to come true. She remembered what she had written down. "He deserves the person who makes him happy." If that was her, then… "Maybe I should take a chance," she thought to herself. With newfound determination, Amy picked up the picture, her grip on the pen firm. She crossed out the words that had held her back, replacing them with “Someday” A smile tugged at her lips as a surge of hope and excitement coursed through her. “That's better,” she declared, her voice filled with resolve. “I’ll need to talk about this with someone.”

[mercymaker]

mallllllllll 🤥💥🌙🌱🌌🪤🎭✂️🔪📎🖍️❇️💧🌪️🌈🔥☁️🌟🌠☄️💓❤️💌💔

𝐎𝐂 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒!

Aaaa, this is quite a challenge! Thank you! 😘

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Yes, Mal is a pretty good liar because she sort of, in that moment, almost believes the lie herself. Oscar-worthy acting, you could say. And I don't think it's very easy to spot a lie even if you know her very well, which, in turn, can make close relationships a bit tricky because it's not very easy to trust her when you know how easy it is for Mal to lie 😬

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Honestly? A lot of honest, vulnerable emotions Maleane really struggles to deal with. I guess above everything it's grief. She never properly mourned her mother (or her father, for that matter) because she just locked that shit up behind a massive wall in order to focus on survival. She finds it hard being truly honest with someone, it doesn't come naturally to her, so if she is being honest and vulnerable with them that means Mal put a ton of effort into it. Being well aware on how to use other's weaknesses against them, it's only fair that she guards hers so well.

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

Power is incredibly tempting as it offers a way to her true wish and part of her wants to be really powerful. I think it's part of her journey throughout the game, this relationship with power and finding the perfect balance within it. But at the end of the day, Maleane wants to be free. To do as she wishes, to live without fear, to be powerful enough to protect herself, but not so powerful that it becomes her entire point of being. What's the point of ultimate power if it's only going to attract the worst of this world to try and get a taste of it? Or worse - take it from her?

🌱 SEEDLING - what is their most vivid memory from childhood?

I think it's a sort of rare, idyllic moment she had with her family. Chewing on a piece of honeycomb until there was nothing but a lump of beeswax left in her mouth. All while her mother was reading a book in the glimmering light of a candle. And her father cutting a piece off, spreading a thick layer of honey on a slice of bread and offering it to A'sherra on a small plate. Just little moments like that, which weren't that common, but they definitely dominate Mal's memories of her childhood.

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

I'll be honest with ya here on this day, but when I made Mal it was purely based on aesthetics. I didn't put that much thought into her, I kind of went "ok, night/dark elf? YES! magic? YES! looks sorta like my mage from wow? YUP!" but she quickly evolved as I played the game and just became her own person. That I'm absolutely in love with.

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

It's very likely to be because of the people she cares about. As self-interested as Mal is, she would risk a lot for those that earned her favor and love. And it's hard to admit that, even to herself, because it makes her feel foolish and stupid, and yet Mal does it (she'll deal with the internal conflict later)!

🎭 MASKS - do they act differently around certain people? what's different between the way they act around friends, family, strangers, etc.?

Absolutely! Mal sort of shifts into whatever she thinks the situation demands, whatever gives her the best advantage. And it's not necessarily doing an extreme 180! Sometimes it's all about subtle little changes to the way she acts, small lies peppered here and there. Her friends definitely see a more raw, honest side of her, but at times it's hard to shed the act entirely as some of her "core" characteristics are sort of in conflict with each other. Strangers see the many different acts, be it a small meek woman on the road or a cold and intimidating drow. When she's surrounded only by the closest ones, she's much more mellow, relaxed, less alert. A great listener, actually!

✂️ SCISSORS - what is the "last straw" for them to cut someone out of their life? how easily do they let go of people?

As hypocritical as it might be it's probably if they used her. I don't think Mal finds it very hard to let go of people, even if it aches and hurts, she knows she can survive out there without them.

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

For starters, she tries to prevent anything bad happening to them. But if there's one thing that life had taught her is that there are so many things that are simply beyond her control. She spent so much of her life being scared and feeling powerless to control any part of it, that it's sort of normal to think that you can't prevent every misfortune from happening. She would, on the other hand, go out of her way to harm those who hurt her loved ones.

📎 PAPERCLIP - a random fact.

She's incredibly lightweight when it comes to alcoholic beverages. It doesn't take a lot for her to get smashed. One time some of the compot they had preserved had gone sour and turned into booze and she drank it and got absolutely hammered.

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

STOP. BEING. IN. YOUR. HEAD. SO. MUCH. She's just such an over-thinker, trying to anticipate every possible scenario to come out of the situation that she gets tangled in that mess. It often times prevents her from just enjoying life in its simplicity, you know THE ONE THING she ought to do after spending all her life in isolation???

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

A little piece of amethyst that reminds her of her father. When she was little Lathorien gave her a little gem that he kept from one of his trips to Underdark before she'd been born. Mal had lost the original one long ago, but the next time she found it in someone's pockets, she kept it, cherishing the memory.

She also keeps a lot of books, scrolls, and notes that they find on their travels. At first, it was to keep herself informed, gather intel and try to find some advantage in the chaos that was swallowing them up. But then she just kept more and more unrelated stuff, to read in her leisure.

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Mal had to bury her mother's mangled corpse and she was in so much distress and panic that not only did she absolutely wreck her hands digging the dirt, but also summoned a massive storm that made everything ten times more difficult. She sat there for hours, soaked and shivering, just channeling the torrential rain until she passed out from exhaustion. Mal doesn't remember most of it.

🌪️ TORNADO - what is the biggest change you've ever made to them? how have they changed from their original version?

I think changing her magic from wild to storm? I just wanted her magic to be connected to her emotions. A controlled person who's capable of keeping her feelings locked tight being able to translate that into precise use of magic? Only to eventually lose their shit and cause devastation? ? You know how they say that if you repress your emotions they don't go away but will one day come out in a way you might not even be able to recognize? I like that metaphor for her.

🌈 RAINBOW - what advice would they give to their younger self?

Ask father things about his family. His community. Don't believe everything mother says. Even if she has your best interests in mind, doesn't mean she won't manipulate you. Keep some thoughts to yourself. And not every outsider you meet will want to harm you.

🔥 FIRE - do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

I think she allows herself to succumb to her darkest thoughts. That voice in her mind that assumes the worst about others and herself. When Mal is in a particularly dark place she just allows one side to win. And at times she thinks about harming herself, just going absolutely feral on her own body. Maybe as a way to kill that voice, because it IS her voice in her head. It's all part of her.

And I think it's all that overthinking, rotating and weighing conflicting thoughts, trying to get the upper hand that's hindering her growth. I think she needs to learn when she can let go and just let things unfold naturally. Sometimes you cross the bridge when you come to it.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

She makes potions for everyone! I just see her spending the well-deserved 4 hours of rest in trance and then she's reading and sorting herbs and writing things down. She sorts out the vials, stacks them in piles and hands them out in the morning before they leave camp. Poisons, health pots, invisibility potions, you name it.

🌟 GLOWING STAR - what do they think about when they look at the night sky? is there someone they want to star gaze with?

At times she thinks of her father. He'd take her on week-long trips through the forest, hunting, camping, teaching her things about the wilds. At night, they'd sit around a fire or its embers, looking at the sky and he'd tell her stories of Eilistraee, about all the creatures, magical and not, that he'd encountered, tales of great heroes, etc.

And uh, star-gazing with a star, no? I think she yearns to just cuddle up under a night sky, all soft touches and sounds. But she also thinks it's embarrassing to admit to want soft things like that, so you'd have to pry that out of her like a sin.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

Likely to have her parents back. Alive and well. She misses them much more than she'd be willing to admit to herself. Sure, it was her mother's death that even allowed Maleane to start to become her own person, but damn at times she just wishes she could talk to A'sherra, to both of her parents.

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

Often times people assume whatever she wants them to assume. She plays meek and fearful when she wants someone to underestimate her. Or commanding and intimidating if it feels like it would prevent someone from harming her, etc. etc.

But those who get past the initial act likely assume that she's harboring some deep dark secret that demands all that masquerade to begin with. Like a distraction from something twisted that she's trying to hide. And while she IS hiding something from them, it's much simpler than some horrible dark past. It's just her fragile heart that she's shielding from everyone.

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Using magic! The adrenaline of being in battle and just feeling it course through her, seeing the devastation it can cause, protecting her team, etc.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

I think it's quality time and physical touch.

I mean, she almost turned into a puddle the first time Shadowheart softly touched her hand and did her hair!!! When she hugged Astarion, she felt like years and years of hurt and longing were melting away. It took her breath away when Gale held her hand to his heart, it almost scared her how intimate it felt? ? ?? SHE'S JUST THAT KIND OF GIRL!!!

💌 LOVE LETTER - do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?

Honestly? ?? I think she'd love to receive letters in general. Half her childhood she'd read letters and notes from other people and at times dream of someone writing one for her!! BUT also it feels almost, uh.. beneath her??? To write a love letter? ? It's admitting feelings, something she struggles so much to do in private, and leaving them behind as evidence on some parchment?? ?/ NO! Too cringe! Jail!

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

Use her! Use her trust in them. It's not easy for someone like her to bare her heart and admit feelings and be vulnerable. So if they took all that from her and betrayed her trust. Yeah, she'd be absolutely devastated.

[fag-on-goth-action]

🔪 KNIFE - how do they react to injury / misfortune befalling their loved ones (significant other, family, friends)? do they put themselves at blame?

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people?

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

for all your OCs <3

🔪

ok so all of them but wes has dealt with that. so this is easy

Lilith- denies it happens doesn't put herself at blame and acts like nothing changed

Marr- shuts down and does a lot of stupid things to fix it but makes things worse

Am- takes all the blame feels guilty and then inflicts the same pain or what she thinks is equivalent pain upon her self

Wes- drinks. a lot.

🙈

oh this is easy they r all hiding sooo much

Lilith- the fact that she's a trans woman obvi but she is trans and queer and all that shit as Lea so that's a cop out. Hers is how she has never truly processed things. ever since she got bit the years have blurred and she doesn't know 78 from 09 well because Am had the same haircut or whatever and she thinks she's been going crazy for so long she's horrified about how bad it is

Marr - Ever since she got cursed to be unable to do the things she loves ( makeup, hair, acting, singing ) she has acted really chill about it and she knows that she hasn't done them in so long so she's fallen out of love but god when things get bad she will cry for hours after trying to sing a song. it devastates her even if parts of that curse have become regular parts of her life, like her makeup being messed up is part of her brand, some days she wants to just look classically pretty and she wants to feel like the woman she used to be and it breaks her.

Am- Context is in my world vampires acquire parts of their greatest fear and desire. for this you gotta know Am's biggest fear is dying alone and without true love. she has taken refuge in platonic bonds but oh my god the day she found out Wes was her soulmate she broke down. She was incapable of having the love of her life ever. she said she would never meet her soulmate and if she did she would kill them, but you can't kill another vampire as a vampire. it's an act only witches or humans can do. And then shit, they are best fucking friends. the worst part is Wes is bound to her until the world ends. he will never experience love that is true, and because Am is always around he's constantly subconsciously comparing his romance to how he feels for her, which is impossible to beat. she can't tell him.

Wes- he's my least fledged out little guy but oh my god he is so incapable of anything past first base and like that wasn't a part of his curse! he doesn't know what's up he just can't feel a lot of things for people man. only time he remembers being good at sex was with Am but she's probably a sex god or something. he can't figure out love and it's pissinf him off

🙊

Lilith- she seriously needs to stop talking about how she helped with jfk in bars she's gonna get arrested soon

Marr - one of these days she'll finally get someone to believe her and be sober enough to see her magic in clubs shes sooo bad at hiding being a witch

Am- WE.DONT.CARE.YOU.WERE.AT.9/11.SO WAS EVERYONE ELSE IN THSI HOUSE AM AND YOU RAN LIKE A PUSSY WHILE WE WATCHED

wes- im so sorry shut up about yr highschool band it was soooo bad u did violin covers of beetles songs

🙉

Lilith- the details of what happened to marr when she was deported and had to live in russia from 57-73. that would break her so hard.

Marr- What happened to the kids who cursed her

Am- Where her brother is ( she thinks he's dead )

Wes- that his fuckinf band sucks shit

okaaayy that was so long sorry but i'm on mobile i cant do cut :(

[byenycfm]

Rhiannon Wells|| 28 || #308 || Billie Lourd || Closed

Personality:

There's no question that seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses is Rhiannon's superpower and if you want to look up the definition of "optimist" you'll probably find a photo of her right next to it. No matter how hopeless the situation gets she'll muster the strength to make it, dragging the doubters by their ears with confidence. Ria is extremely friendly and energetic, but also quite gullible, which makes her easy prey for rapacious, selfish piranhas also known as some of the Wexley building residents. It's not surprising she's been hurt and taken advantage of in the past. Holding grudges is a waste of time, however, so Ria pushes forward holding her head up high, focused on her dreams and plans.

Biography:

Aside from being the epitome of sunshine, Rhiannon Wells is a twenty-eight year old aspiring actress from New Jersey. Raised by a single father,  who cherished and loved her with all his heart, she learned that only focus and self-awareness can help her achieve her goals. This lesson became a rule she had sworn to herself to live by and it didn't take long before Ria decided to move to New York City to pursue her biggest dream – to become an actress. She and her dad had been inseparable and Ria wasn't sure if she was ready for a big change in her life, which meant leaving her father behind in New Jersey, but with her dad's support and her own optimism, she headed to New York with big plans and hopes.

 Unfortunately, she quickly learned a bitter lesson - her passion for acting wasn't enough and she clearly never noticed she wasn't very talented. She had been doing anything she could, trying to catch every opportunity in order to start somewhere, but couldn't succeed. Ria didn't get discouraged easily, but she still had to remember about the responsibilities she had. Too proud to say she wouldn't make the dreams come true fast enough to pay her growing bills and way too determined to even contemplate giving up, eventually, she ended up escorting to cover her expenses. Little did she know, a solution she hated so much would turn out to be quite lucky rather sooner than later.

It was a party like many other she'd attended; rich men paying for her company, then showing her off or boring her to death with their bragging... Or both. No matter how well-mannered or handsome they were, Ria couldn't stop thinking about all the opportunities she'd probably missed wasting her time with them, when she should be chasing her dreams instead. Until one day, when she was mentally prepared for yet another  party she knew she would hate, life finally surprised Rhiannon with a man who made her heart beat faster. Unlike her previous clients, he seemed to listen when she spoke and ask questions out of genuine curiousity, not hiding behind a mask he had carefully picked for the evening. It didn't take long before the two started dating and Rhiannon couldn't believe her luck - finally, something good was happening to her. Now she would pursue her dreams with new energy and spend the rest of her life with the most perfect man by her side, happy in their new, beautiful home. No wonder she felt better than ever when they came back from the honeymoon... Right before the outbreak.

Pre Outbreak Occupation: Several part time jobs, escort, (aspiring) actress Previous Zombie Experience: N/A Martial Status:  Married Children:  N/A Residence: Loft #904 Years residing at The Wexley: 3 Years Connections: 

The New Husband

Sada Vang - Former Employer, Close friend and Mentor

Courtney Song (deceased) - Best Friend

Zach Sanders - Close friend

[misquigleya]

WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS.

@ladyintree asked (forever ago): What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else?

**MINOR S02 EP05 SPOILERS WILL BE MENTIONED.**

It should be no surprise that Misty has, since an early age ( somewhere between middle school and high school ) has tried to fit in. She would try to adapt to her surroundings as if it were a means to survive and let's be honest...that's exactly what she had to do being who she was. So this means that she has been mimicking others for a long while by taking bits and pieces of what she thought could work for her in social gatherings / hierarchy. But for the most part, it never stuck because Misty herself, deep down, couldn't keep the façade going long enough and people were able to see through the cracks.

However, her longest to date "mimicking" has been that of everything she picked up from Crystal aka Kristen. She helped Misty out there in the wilderness find her footing somewhat and brought her out of her shell or the box she had been stuffing herself into time and time again in order to fit in and be appealing to others. It's easy to assume that she had never really cared for showtunes or musicals/theatre until she met Crystal and the other took a shine to her. And we see that in present day time, Misty is all for showtunes and musicals as she simply can not shut up about them and no doubt has countless playlists with nothing but showtunes.

Episode three, the baby-shower, Misty performs for the first time ( though it's not really for the first time because taking a deeper look into her, she's been performing for a long while ) and that's all due to Crystal. As for mannerisms, I do think that she picked up a lot of the often times considered silly/goofy sayings like "okie dokie," "gosh darn," and having a somewhat over bubbly like way of speaking, she did pick that up from Crystal and since the other is unfortunately not alive ( but shhh we're ignoring that whoopsie daisy cliff fall ) it's kind of turned into a "well this is how Crystal would be speaking now if she were still here." You know it's assuming that the other would still speak that way because she'll forever be seventeen in Misty's mind / memories. Just like Jackie will forever be eighteen in Shauna's mind / memories and she, as well as the Taylors, have to just assume what Jackie would be like now in present time. The parallels between Jackie/Shauna and Misty/Crystal will be discussed at a later date 'cause mmm....many thoughts.

And despite how things went, I do see Misty taking on the others mannerisms and interests as a means to keep her alive. To keep her memory alive and to never forget about the one person who took a chance on Misty out there and actually befriended her. Something she'll forever be thankful for and wishes that her best friend was still around so they could sing and dance together. But yea...she very much picked up a lot from Crystal/Kristen and there are moments where we see the real Misty peeking out when she gets upset. When she struggles to keep that bubbly persona/mask present; example is when she's talking to Larry the manager at the hotel Nat was staying at and how the more he refused to give up information, the harder it was for Misty to keep that mask from slipping and that she had to take a moment to breathe, tighten the straps of the mask and to keep going with the bubbly act.

Another example would be when she's dealing with Jessica Roberts in season one. She's very cheery in how she speaks to the woman she's holding captive, treating her as a guest instead of a hostage. And in episode eight, Misty comes back high on coke and for the first time shows her true/real self to Roberts; again, it took her to get upset, like really upset which she already was given Natalie's dismissiveness of her "helping" to keep Nat sober and her being rightfully upset about the hidden camera. So all of that plus seeing her pet in danger and Jessica striking a nerve, that mask just shattered for a moment.

But yea...overall, Crystal/Kristen is to thank or blame or however you want to see it for how Misty is today. There of course are other people but none of them are as prominent as Crystal/Kristen was and is. And the fact that even in her early forties, Misty still clings to this false identity instead of being herself speaks volumes of how desperate she still is for people to like her. Because she's always squeezed herself into this small tight box of "what's right" in the eyes of society ( being attracted to men, dating men, being cheerful and bubbly, etc. ) And truthfully, she needs help getting out of that box but that would require people to actually want get to know her, to take a chance on her and ignore the obvious and very human cracks that are in the mask she wears.

[jungleslang]

I'm sorry but I just need to take a moment to scream about why Mu-deok / Naksu / Cho Yeong's character and the romance between her and Uk makes me go absolutely feral.

She's just so clever and calculating and determined. Like Uk has literally been trying for years and years to get his gate of energy open. When he finally meets Naksu, someone who's actually willing to open it for him, it's at a time where she's trapped in a weak body and doesn't have the power to do so. But she doesn't let that deter her. She's just like alright let's poison his ass instead, and it works. Just like that, she gets his gate open with minimal effort on her part (minus the torture lol).

Then there's the incident where she throws filthy water on the crown prince and pisses him off to the point that he's ready to fight them all. She gets everyone out of trouble by putting on a remorseful servant act and offering to drink the water. She also immediately clocks the prince as someone who is arrogant and therefore weak to flattery, and proceeds to follow him out and sweet talk him to death. And that works too. The prince ends up leaving that encounter being pleased and amused by her when just minutes ago he wanted to slice and dice her for daring to dirty him. She knew exactly how to act and what to say to get what she wanted.

When the crown prince threatens to destroy her birg egg charm, Naksu tricks him into thinking she doesn't care about it and causes him to throw it away, which ensures that she can get it back even if Uk loses his last duel. She is also the true mastermind behind the duel between Uk and the crown prince, which she arranged because Uk was demotivated due to Park Jin's usual bullshit. She also set up the ten duels between Uk and the other mages, which helped Uk improve by leaps and bounds since he was able to memorize and utilize his opponents tactics, which again is exactly what she wanted.

It's wild how so many pivotal events in the show were orchestrated by her. She's literally just so damn manipulative and I love it. Time and time again, she flawlessly manipulates both people and situations to achieve her desired outcome.

She's also extremely hardworking. It's clear how ruthlessly efficient she is by the way she absolutely dominates the Songrim servant test despite the fact that she's in a physically weak body. Her body is probably the weakest of all the other competitors, but she still completes every task faster and better than all of them. This is probably because she grew up on her own in a desolate place, and therefore had to develop the skills necessary to survive. Compared to Uk who's never had to cook, clean, do his own laundry, and even has people running his baths for him, Naksu is practically a survivalist.

And like you would think that someone with these traits would also have a healthy sense of self-preservation, right? WRONG.

Maybe I'm just watching the wrong shows and reading the wrong books, but usually when I see characters who are smart and cunning and know how to fend for themselves, their priorities tend to be their own safety. But Naksu literally does not give a flying fuck about her well-being. When she discovers that she can't draw her sword and thinks she'll be powerless forever, her first instinct is to just kill herself. She heads straight for the lake and jumps in. She also shrugs off being brutally tortured by Park Jin, saying she expected worse. When Jang Uk loses control during training and is about to impale her, she doesn't even try to move out of the way even though she could.

She's highly self-serving but also paradoxically has zero self-preservation, and that's why I find her character so fascinating. And it's demonstrated that the reason she's like this is that she's so goal-oriented. What Naksu cares about isn't her life, but her goals—which are getting her power back and avenging her family. If she has to lay down her life to do that, then so be it, because her safety isn't nearly as important to her as achieving her goals.

This is why the romance between her and Uk is so fucking immaculate, because he's like that too. Even though people see him as a helpless troublemaker, Uk is also very crafty and perceptive. All it took was Mudeok looking him in the eyes and swinging a crab leg at him for him to instantly figure out that she's a soul-shifter and that she's actually Naksu. He then immediately uses that knowledge to try and blackmail her into being his master. He got Heo Yeom drunk so that he could carry him and copy his breathing technique, and he even had the foresight to bribe Ju-wol in advance so that Mu-deok's identity would be protected if anyone came looking for her. He also knows how to use people's perception of him as weak to get himself out of trouble. Just like his master / maid, he's cunning, but he's also reckless and isn't all that concerned with his own safety. He literally wasn't the slightest bit upset when Naksu poisoned him. He could have easily died, and he didn't even care, he was just happy his gate of energy was finally open.

Both Naksu and Uk are people who are driven by their goals and will pursue them relentlessly without really caring if it costs them their lives. And those same people people who were once willing to do anything for the sake of their own ambitions, gave up on their goals for each other. For almost the entire show, Naksu and Uk risked so much and schemed their hearts out to get what they wanted, only for both of them to choose to be powerless in the end. The most powerful, notorious assassin in Daeho and the literal King's Star who's supposed to have a great destiny gave up their power to run away and live a simple life with each other. How can I not lose my mind over them!!!

And it's like not only did they give up their powers for each other, they also did it for the sake of the people around them. Uk wanted to save everyone that was trapped in the ice stone, and despite the fact that Naksu kept on telling herself she could let them all die, she wanted to save them too. Episode 19 Uk and Naksu are nowhere near as self-seeking as they were in episode 1, and it's partly because of each other. The way they were both instrumental to the other's growth is just 😫😫😫

And also the way that they understand and support each other. Like when Uk first tells Naksu his plan to take the barrier down, she's immediately like wtf no you could literally die, lets think of something else. Of course she wouldn't want to watch the love of her life possibly kill himself right in front of her, but that's exactly what she does. Even though she's scared that what he's about to do could cost him his life and the thought of that is so unbearable to her that she even gave up her power, she still ends up encouraging him to do it. Because she understands his "its better to die than do nothing" mentality because that's also her mentality. And Uk also understands her and the impact her upbringing has had on her. He's so considerate of her and showers her with affection without crossing any lines because he knows she's not used to it.

And let's not even talk about that moment after the barrier is destroyed and both of them have well and truly lost their chance at power, and Naksu literally fucking smiles and says it's fine because they're together. The ruthless, cold-hearted assassin who was willing to kill them both to get her power back is content being totally powerless and trapped in a weak body because Uk is with her. She once said that she'd rather die than live that way, but now she actively chooses to live that way because she loves Uk and desires him more than power 😭😭😭😭😭

December needs to come quick because I'm losing my mind over here

(Also I'm so sorry this ended up being so long I didn't mean to write this much lmaooooo)

[gatheringbones]

["I've found that S/M has really helped me get rid of a lot of passive-aggressive shit & communications problems. You really learn how to be clear about what you want & that it's all right to want anything you want. I think a lot of the misunderstandings & not hearing each other & not being brave enough to be honest get burned away in S/M. It's in the nature of the situation that you become more honest & courageous.

The main issues are to talk it through openly & make sure you agree, trust each other (& if you don't trust her, either find someone else or examine your own blocks, whichever is relevant), agree on a safe word, & get all the pleasure & joy there is between you in that situation. S/M is basically about good times. It's a part of who I am to analyze & have to understand everything. I think the vast majority of S/M dykes are not so analytical—they just know a good thing when they find it. Ultimately I wouldn't have been interested in S/M, whatever its healing value, if it hadn't been such a good time.

I'd like to talk a little about some of the common reactions & "criticisms" I get about S/M. At the beginning of this article I mentioned some of the responses I've gotten. First I want to say that even before S/M was an issue for me I'd noticed that few lesbians are comfortable talking about sex. In discussing S/M this discomfort shows in several ways, one obvious one being that since S/M is specifically sexual lesbians don't seem to feel any responsibility to listen to & understand experiences that are different from their own. Dykes from different countries, races, classes, ages, etc. understand the importance of listening to each other's lives. It doesn't always mean we get anywhere, but there's an understood value of listening to & taking seriously what a lesbian of different experiences says about her life. Because S/M is sexual this value disappears, I think partly because S/M in- variably enhances sex. Consequently, S/M is denied as a political choice or 'real' life experience.

Our sexual energy is literally our life force at its rawest—no shields, no disguises, no polite mistaking it for something else. This is especially true with S/M. Sexuality is energy as tangible as that which turns the earth. It is both power & a pathway to power. I see most lesbians being terrified of their own power; witness how quickly lesbians try to tear down any dyke in their midst who acts powerfully & begins to rise above the group. That common lesbian phenomenon of striving for the lowest common denominator is a direct result of fear of self/fear of one's power. S/M is about sex, about power, & about our right to work with our sacred life's energy as intensely creatively & courageously as we wish. Nothing is hidden in S/M. It's all right out front, & if you're afraid of yourself S/M will terrify you. S/M is a sexual pathway to a more & more powerful self, & I think this is the reason so many lesbians react with knee-jerk responses of condemnation bigotry prudishness & moral holier than thou crap. For those lesbians who are afraid of sex & afraid of power, S/M, which is about sexual power & specifically about lesbians becoming more powerful through their sexuality, is frightening. Consequently, the common resistance I find to discussing sex at all is magnified when trying to discuss S/M with non-S/M lesbians. One common reaction is the fear that once a lesbian gets into S/M she'll never want or be able to be sexual like she used to be. It's the Victorian thing of being ''ruined." Well, my experience is that S/M has given me so much confidence & knowledge of my sexuality that there's always a quality of S/M in my lovemaking. If my lover is not into S/M she most likely doesn't notice the S/M quality like I do. (I'm referring here to casual & short-term affairs Naturally, my long time lovers & heart friends are all aware of & into S/M with me to one degree or another.) With S/M everything gets charged, so that even subtle movements of the hands & body have an S/M connotation to me now. That doesn't mean that every dyke I'm with is going to have an S/M "experience." Far from it. It means that I don't shut off my own sources, & that the extent of how much the one with experiences S/M sex is up to her & to what we agree on together. Also, I wouldn't usually get into serious S/M sex with strangers right away be- cause I need time to build a basis of trust. So obviously I haven't forgotten how to make love in a less intense way than S/M. Once again, everybody's different. I just want to show that this fear is simply that, a fear, not a realistic look. It's also true that given a choice between S/M sex with a lesbian I care for & trust, & sex with a lesbian I care for & trust who's not into S/M, I'd take the S/M experience every time. Don't be misled. I've never had a choice like this—it just sounds like a nice fantasy. Wouldn't we all like to be hustled by several different lesbians at the same time?

The most serious area of difficulty for most lesbians is the confusion between lesbian S/M & prick violence & pornography. Bondage is very in as a porn image, whips & chains are appearing more & more, & men's violence against womyn seems to be spiralling up again. The distinction here is that lesbian S/M is consensual, bringing pleasure & strength. Porn & violence bring pain mutilation fear & death. It's the difference between being powerful & loved & being a hated victim. Part of the problem is that the issues of violence & power are very charged for womyn, & it seems to be hard for some to remember that while two things may look similar from the outside that doesn't mean they're the same thing. Some womyn in Women Against Violence Against Womyn & related groups have lost this perspective & been very bigoted & hostile to S/M dykes & a lot of shit has been exchanged. Many S/M dykes have little or no patience any more, so polarization has happened fairly quickly in some places. What's important to me is that lesbians remember that all ways a lesbian strengthens herself & brings pleasure into her life without coercing or oppressing anyone else are tools against our victimization & oppression.

In my own life, I've had friends scream insults at me, tell me I'm to be pitied, like a man, oppressive to womyn, disgusting, not welcome in their home, untrustworthy, etc. I've had old lovers & friends/acquaintances of many years simply stop answering my letters. Some lesbians tell me all the reasons why it's ''wrong" & then come onto me. Others simply get very polite & ignore the whole thing. I'd never made myself open to them, never brought up the subject. I wish lesbians were braver & that we didn't scapegoat each other so easily. Though I'm often afraid, I've learned I can't afford to ever let that block my life. This world is full of ugliness & pain & grief & horror. I do what I can to lessen the awfulness for myself &others, & to build the self-respect & self-love of lesbians starting with myself, always. I celebrate the female principle, the creatrix spirit, & love the life I make for myself. I believe that we are all able to be self-creating in joy. S/M is a very big part of these things for me. So what I've come to now is if you want to talk about it that's fine, if you come with respect. If not, then keep it to yourself. I'm not interested."]

Juicy Lucy, from If I Ask You To Tie Me Up, Would You Still Want Me?, from Coming To Power: Writings And Graphics On Lesbian S/M, 1987

[septembersghost]

What's your take on the idea that Jimmy never really felt 100% secure in his relationship with Kim/her love for him (just saw a post about this saying he doesn't believe her ILY during the breakup, just the "but so what")?

I have to admit I often wondered myself if his inability to see himself as someone worth loving ("come on, this guy? seriously?") made it difficult for him to truly believe she could love him as much as he loved her. The rooftop fight in Wiedersehen comes to mind.

However, what always trips me up about this take is that while I can see Jimmy not being one who believes words easily (not just because he himself knows how to use them disingenuously, but I think his relationship with Chuck also made him weary of how words can mean nothing at all), he seems like someone who believe in actions. And Kim is ALL about showing her love through actions, rather than words. After all she does for him and with him, her unwavering belief and support, spanning over a decade, could he still be that insecure? And if so, what would it take for him to overcome this insecurity? Learning to love himself so that he can realize others can love him too seems like the easy answer. But it's also a bit of a vicious cycle, because I think that he cannot develop that self-love without at least one person loving him; if the entire world around him tells him he's worthless scum, it's practically impossible he'd grew to believe otherwise.

i think there's a difference between believing in someone's love for you, and believing in your worthiness of it.

the rooftop argument is projection and he immediately knows he's wrong for it, he goes home expecting her to tell him to get lost, but she doesn't, she puts her hand on his shoulder, asks if he still wants to be a lawyer, and says they can go from there. he notably never again questions her like that - when he sees her hesitancy at the DBA decision, he says he'll slow down and come back to do it another day, but she sees his enthusiasm about it and cautiously supports him. he doesn't immediately jump to the conclusion that she might be judging the name change negatively. the next big fight they have, in 5x06, he knows he messed up and falls into his other pattern of dealing with stress - panic and crisis mitigation. ("no, no, kim we can fix this!") he is falling apart there when it seems like she's going to break up with him until she makes the greatest pivot of all-time, but he's not blaming or questioning her.

we do see some legitimate growth from him in the course of their relationship, and of course real actions of love and tenderness given to her, and returned to him, they both prove a lot through action.

i feel that her repeatedly standing by him, helping him, and championing him let him believe and be secure in her love, certainly from 4x10 onwards, and she has always been a driving motivation for him. she said she was on his side and kept showing up to prove it. your analysis of jimmy having more faith in actions than words rings really true to me. chuck gave him hollow words, but not the actions, because he didn't mean it. kim is economical with her words at times, speaking when she thinks it's important and she needs to be heard, in contrast to his loquaciousness, but he's known her for over a decade, so he's probably used to that, he knows how she communicates. she is, however, very demonstrative in action, and she does show that love, over and over again, in things she does. that comes through to him and he holds onto it.

part of why the breakup is thus so painful is because they've proven the depth of their love for one another in the most unspeakable of ways. not only do they both know he was ready to sacrifice himself for her, he realizes as soon as mike bursts through that door and assures him she's safe that she was going to carry out lalo's deadly instructions. to jimmy, this has to be an almost overwhelming act of love. she'll defend him in words, in court, but to defend his life like that? and he knows what she was going through after bagman, after lalo's first visit to them. i think he's so assured of that love that he can't fathom a situation where he'd lose it anymore, which is exactly when the ground shifts.

two things happen. she confesses about knowing lalo was alive, which is a betrayal of the most sacred vow of their marriage, telling each other the darkest of truths. he tried to pull the howard scam back more than once, and she pushed forward with it, and they ended up jointly enabling one another, but she was right in knowing that if he'd been aware of lalo's potential presence, he'd have called it off altogether, and would've feared for her, and might have tried to leave her to protect her. jimmy knows all of that is true, but it doesn't matter in the face of the horror of how that turned out, how her keeping that secret has torn everything apart. (i'm not blaming her btw, but filtering it through jimmy's pov). the other thing is, "but, so what?"

i believe he hears her, "i love you too," and then watches her crumble, hears her say it's not enough, it doesn't matter, and she did this terrible thing, and they're poison, and she was having too much fun, spat out like it's bitter in her mouth, like his plea of, "you make me happy, we make each other happy" has just curdled on her lips. but it doesn't equate to "i don't love you." it's, "i love you, and it's not enough. we're not enough. you're not enough."

which is what i mean about feeling worthy of it. at every juncture and test, he has more reason to believe in the fact of her love, and he does, and i think he proves that in trying to be a good husband and partner to her. in trying to be honest. in letting her in - they both let each other in where they never allow anyone else to see or understand them, and they don't turn away, or give up. but jimmy has considerable self-esteem and identity issues, as we know, and i don't think he ever feels worthy of that love. this guy? that's why i've said it's like he's a little in awe of her and her loyalty and resiliency - not in a way where it necessarily puts her on a pedestal, but in a real admiring sense. she keeps choosing him, and he keeps wanting to be enough to make it count. so he daydreams about them sharing an office. sharing a home. sharing whatever he can have, whatever life they can build together, and maybe one day, they'll lay a strong enough foundation, and he won't have to worry about whether he's enough anymore, and they'll wake up and have coffee, and they'll brush their teeth at the double sinks, and they'll find some friends to host movie nights, and they'll drink wine when the stars are out, and he'll kiss her goodnight, every night. the dream almost feels like...eventually, i'll prove myself to her. eventually, we'll have the things that solidly show this is real. i think it's an aspect to his aspirational nature to some degree, it's not all this greed-driven issue, it's, "how can i establish a real life, and how can we do that together?" (there's a lot of subtle classism difficulties in the show, and jimmy - who never has his own place in the present timeline when we know him! he's homeless at the start, he's living in that shoebox excuse for an office in the back of a nail salon! that's not bootstrapping it, that's barely surviving. then he moves into kim's, and home isn't a physical space anymore - but he still wants them to have one).

i don't subscribe to the idea that you have to have self-love before you can believe you're loved, or before you're capable of loving someone else (in fact, i think that concept is quite harmful and borderline shaming for people who are struggling), so i don't think the rest of the world perceiving him as scum affects what he believes of her. chuck thought it, and it left irreconcilable scars, but she doesn't think it, and he clings to that like a life raft, like the one constant thing. screw the world, right? the world's been out to screw him anyway. they think what they want and he deflects and shields himself (as we saw with his confrontations at the courthouse, and his subsequent loneliness - it hurts, then he pushes it down). but she was still there.

suddenly, the entire world around him, the careful scaffolding he has in place, comes crashing down with that "so what?". she loves him and he must've ruined it, ruined her, ruined everything. she loves him, and it doesn't matter. it's not enough. that's his worst fear come true. jimmy has two nightmares, really - the specter of lalo, and the idea of losing kim, and they crash together like an apocalyptic event. the world as he knows it ends. there's nothing he can do to change or fix it.

i agree that i don't see how he can ever get to a place of self-recognition or self-acceptance, of synthesis, all alone and in those shadows, how he gets there without one person, the only person, who truly loves him.

this is a rambly, long answer to your question, but i do believe he believes in the truth that she loves him, but i don't think he believes he deserves it, which are not mutually exclusive concepts. that's what he hears when she leaves, even though that's not what she's saying, and it's everything he's been afraid of. jimmy mcgill, the loser kid brother, the not a real lawyer, the scumbag, the coward, the one who's always down. of course that guy was never going to be enough. of course that guy would end up alone, would end up losing the most important person and love he had in his life. it's what he does. he loses things.

and so he buries him.