#she'd shake me awake in the middle of the night saying it's time to go

[thekimspoblog]

"Our Sacrifice will pale next to the Rewards. Love Mommy"

Well you can't say she didn't leave'ya anything!

“I just need you to go and see upstairs. Please, Steve. And then... there’s more.” | “You mean, more than your mother’s headless body? Of course there is.”

Hereditary (2018) dir. Ari Aster

[sturniqlo]

Kiss in the Kitchen- M.S

summary: both Matt and Y/n find themselves in the kitchen at two in the morning alone. Blurb

cw: cursing, brothers best friend trope, suggestive material (no actual smut), almost getting caught

masterlist | join my taglist | part 2

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2:16 AM read the digital clock that was propped on Y/n's nightstand. She huffed and turned to the other side facing the wall. It was probably the tenth time she has turned to the opposite side trying to fall asleep. She shouldn't have drank that iced coffee before bed.

After turning around one more time, she sat up and swung her legs over the edge of the bed and her feet met the cold wooden floor. Y/n made her way, barefoot, to her door and opened it and a cold breeze made it way to her. "Holy fuck." She gasped, her brother must've moved the ac once more.

She felt her nipples harder up against her oversized tee. Making her way downstairs, the creaking of the stairs made her cringe, not wanting to wake anyone else up in the house. Through the dark, she made her way to the kitchen and opened up three fridge getting herself a water bottle, keeping the fridge open for a light source. "Hey." Someone said from behind her. "What the-" She yelped, spilling some water on her shirt. She turned around and sees Matt wearing a tank top and pajama pants hung low on his hips.

"Matt?" She whisper yelled. "Shit, my bad. Didn't mean to scare you." He chuckled, reaching in the fridge for a water of his own. "When did you get here?" Still at a whisper. "Around seven? Daniel texted if I wanted to spend the night." He opens his water bottle. Y/n got home at nine, probably why she didn't know he was here. "I didn't see your car when I got here."

"I had to park in the next block over, there was no parking and I didn't want to take your spot in the driveway." She hummed in response. "So, why are you awake at-" He looks at the stove. "Two twenty eight in the morning?"

"Cant sleep, I drank coffee earlier so I fucked up with that one." Y/n giggles. "You?" She takes another sip of her water. "Your brother snores like a middle aged man, I might crash on the couch." He walks between Y/n and the counter, putting his hand on her waist to get by.

She cant help but get goosebumps all over and clench between her thighs although it was a small gesture. Y/n leans against the counter and tries to shake all the dirty thoughts out of her head. "I just realized, we've never been alone together. Just us two." He walks back from throwing away his empty water bottle. "Really? I- I've never noticed." Y/n stutters.

"Really." He nods, walking up to stand in front of her, placing his hands on the counter, caging her in. "O- oh." Her heart starts beating fast. She's always found Matt attractive. Hot. Every name in the book. "Why're you nervous? Thought you always wanted this, I see how you look at me all the time." Matt grabs her jaw so she can look up at him. "Do you want me?" He says.

"Yes," She nods. "I want you." With that, Matt placing his lips on hers. They pull apart to see if they were okay with it. When nobody completely pulled away, Y/n kissed him again. The kiss was mix of tongue and teeth clashing. Messy, just how Y/n imagined it. "I've wanted this for so long." Matt pulls away to kiss down her jaw. "Fuck- me too." She gasps at Matt sucking on her neck.

She tugs on his hair and brings him back to her lips. If this was the only time she'd have Matt like this, she was going to make last. They could still taste the faintness of the minty toothpaste on each other. Matt brought his hands under her shirt and massaged his cold hands onto her warm waist while her arms came up around her neck, her hands slightly tugging on the hair on the nape of his neck.

His hands crept up her soft belly to underneath her breast. She gasped against his lips. Matt squeezed her tits and she whimpered when his thumb circled her nipples. Matt grew harder at the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. Wanting her shirt off, he brought his hands to the bottom of her shirt. "Can I?" He whispered against her swollen wet lips. "Please." She nodded.

When the shirt came above her breast, Matt was awed at her bare chest. As it was going to come off above her head, they heard the stairs creek and Y/n pulled her shirt back down as Matt was frozen. "Hey guys. Why are you two up?" Her brother enters the kitchen and sees Matt looking into the fridge. "I- uh I couldn't sleep and came to get water." Y/n awkwardly held up her unfinished water as she was breathing heavily, but her brother didn't notice as he was still half asleep.

"And I- you were snoring so I came to crash on the couch and found her- uh here." Matt scratched his neck. "I'll- I'll see you two tomorrow." Y/n said and left the kitchen leaving the two boys in the kitchen.

Back in her room, she sat on her bed in disbelief. Did that actually happen? Something that she's been wanting for so long just happened? Y/n could still feel the softness of his lip on her, his hands all over her body. Yet, she still had the ache in between her legs.

Ten minutes later, her phone buzzed on her nightstand. Picking it up, she saw a instagram dm from Matt.

matthew.sturniolo

keep your door unlocked

i'm going once daniel is asleep

[thebearer]

making the bed |carmen berzatto x reader| part one

prompt: carmen's stressed. food critics, a newborn baby, balancing work life and married life and now dad life; he's bound to break, everyone knows it. but no one ever thought he'd lash out on you.

or, part one of the devastation fic. based off this ask from the other day. two more parts to come.

contains: mega angst. mega angst, with no resolution in this part. hurt, no comfort (in this chapter, will be later in part 3). mean!carmen, very mean. mom!reader x dad!carmen with newborn teddy. fighting, language, carmen says mean stuff he doesn't mean. past mentions of trauma, family trauma, mikey mentioned. very angsty and a little heavy, please read at your own discretion. word count- 3.5k+.

"Are you ok?"

Carmen now understood why that phrase used to send Donna into such a blind rage, lips pursing and jaw clenching more and more every time he heard it. First at work, then with you, it felt never ending.

It was beginning to feel like critic season with how many were coming in, snooty and demanding to be impressed. It couldn't have come at a worst time, right in the middle of busy season with the start of the holidays. Days at The Bear were filled with frantic panic, running around, making sure everything was perfect, accounted for, and Carmen always had the sinking feeling it wasn't- that he'd forgotten something, messed something up. 

It wasn't rare for him to work himself up like this, a normal that you always warned him about, but he'd always had a solitude. As long as he'd known you, he'd had a place to go, to unwind, to let himself rest and reset with you. And he still did, it was just shared now with a newborn.

Dorothea Michelle. Teddy, for short. The light of his life, yours too. Nearly two months old with a set of lungs that sounded much louder, much more developed than that. Nights were long, sleepless, spent trying to lull Teddy back to sleep, awake even if he wasn't up with her. Carmen couldn't allow himself the selfishness to relax, to rewind, to "take it easy" like everyone told him to. At work, he was the boss; at home, he was a dad.

"Fuck, fuck," Carmen's sleepy stare was broken by a lick of bubbling heat, the lamb's roux popping with the high heat, splashing all over Carmen's chef whites.

"Jeff, c'mon," Tina clicked, shaking her head, moving the pan to lower heat. "What're you doin'?"

Carmen grit his teeth, snatching a rag off the stainless steel counter tops, scrubbing the burgundy stain, huffing when it only spread the stain.

"What happened?" Sydney turned, looking from the burnt sauce to Carmen's stained chef shirt. "Oh,"

"Do we have a spare coat?" Carmen huffed, throwing the rag down with a firm smack against the counter.

"I don't think so, Carm." Sydney shook her head. "You took the last ones home with you two days ago. The wine-"

"-I know, Chef, I know." Carmen snapped, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I-I can't fuckin' serve the critics lookin' like this. With shit all over me- fuck."

"Hey, easy, easy," Richie turned the corner, his hands held up. "What's goin' on?"

"Jeff got sauce over him. He doesn't have any clean clothes." Tina muttered, irritated that she had to fix his mess, more irritated that he wasn't taking care of himself. You have a baby, Jeff, you need to rest and take some time, she'd told him. Carmen only waved her off.

"Okay, okay, hey, that's no problem." Richie's voice raised, lifting over Carmen's. "You go home and change, get your spare, check on my beautiful goddaughter, and then come back with your A game. Yes?"

Carmen didn't even humor him with a snarky remark, yanking his coat off and stomping towards the office to grab his things. Richie and Tina looked at each other, shaking their head gently.

"Kids runnin' thin, T." Richie muttered with a sigh. "He's gonna break. It's gonna be bad."

"Yeah, he is. Gonna wear himself out before then." Tina shook her head. "Jeff needs a vacation." They both jumped at the slamming of the backdoor, Carmen's angry exit shaking the foundation.

"Needs to be fuckin' medicated. Fuckin' lunatic." Richie scoffed, rolling his eyes at Carmen's dramatics.

The drive home was filled with silence, Carmen's iron grip on the wheel, tearing through the traffic towards the house- his house, his home. 

Home, but it didn't provide the same comfort that it usually did. Carmen's shoulders still stayed tense, buzzing with rage, not dissipating when he thought of you, or of Teddy, knowing you'd both be there, excited to see him. 

You jumped at the sound of the car door slamming, peeking out the window to see Carmen's parked next to yours, furiously stomping up the front steps. You frowned, grabbing the baby monitor, walking towards the front door.

Carmen nearly hit you with how fiercely he flung the door open. "Woah," You reached for the door, stopping it before he could flick it shut. "Carm, don't slam it. Teddy's asleep. I just got her down." You frowned at him, shutting it slowly.

Carmen looked at you but didn't speak, looking through you with a rage that had your spine tingling before he finally broke his gaze, stomping towards the laundry room. "Carm? What’re you doing home? Don’t you have dinner soon?" You hesitated slightly, lingering in the doorway with an uncertainty you hadn’t felt with Carmen before. 

Carmen didn’t answer, his jaw still ground tight while he rummaged through the clean clothes, carelessly unfolding and shifting the folded clothes.

"Carmen," You said more firmly, caching his gaze. He didn't speak still, just stared at you- through you. "Are you ok?" You lifted a brow, features softening in worry.

Carmen paused, eyes closing, shoulders tensing in agitation. Are you ok? His ears rang, a familiar rage that he hadn't felt in years bubbling up deep in his chest. Frustrated and blinding and rampant, heat rushing through his veins, pulling himself further and further from reality into someplace different- someplace darker in his mind. 

"What's wrong?" You pressed, he could barely hear it, ears ringing at your question. "Did something happen? Did the critic come-"

"-Where's my chef whites?" Carmen barked, cutting you off, his chest tightening more and more with every heavy heave of his chest. You flinched at his tone.

"Uh, I-I haven't seen the whites. I washed your white tee-"

“-You what? Y-You what?” Carmen spat, eye widening with a wild, raged glint in his eye. Your stomach flipped and fell with fear, stepping back instinctively. 

“I-I washed your tee, Carm, that’s all that you left in the laundry basket-” 

"-Are you fucking kidding me?" Carmen boomed, his head spinning, body buzzing with rage. Your breath hitched, frozen in fear at the anger in his tone, the roar of his voice bouncing off the walls, echoing through your ears in a painful drum. 

Carmen moved, snatching the dirty clothes basket, dumping it into the ground with a shake until the dirty chef coat fell on top. He gripped the basket, flinging it across the room with a hard throw. The final push to his bad mood that sent him right over the edge, crashing into a pit of blinding fury, aggravation, breaking him from the inside out.

"Fuck!" Carmen roared, his voice shaking the walls, your breath leaving your lungs in a trembling exhale of fear. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is- This is- Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” 

You tensed in shock, gripping the baby monitor in fear, maybe surprise, as it started to buzz to life with Teddy's startled whimpers. Her small cries pulled you out of your frozen state, something deeper than fear replacing the ache in your stomach. 

"Carmen-" You gaped, voice wobbling with uncertainty, taking slow shuffled steps towards the stairs. “Carmen, calm-calm down. Ok? Calm down.” 

“Calm down? You want me to fuckin’ calm down?” Carmen sneered, an angry red flush blossoming in splotchy deep hues up his neck, towards his cheeks. “You don’t do shit, nothin’ that I fuckin’ ask for! Just sit around all fuckin’ day an-and I’m supposed to calm down?” 

“Carmen,” Your voice wobbled, throat tight with tears, hurt and fear strangling your words. “I-You didn’t ask me to wash them. I-I didn’t know. They weren’t in the hamper-” 

“-I shouldn’t have to ask you to wash them!” Carmen roared, eyes so wide you thought they might pop right out of his head, neck vein protruding on exemplifying his rage. “You know what I’m going through! You know how much fuckin’ stress I’m under! I go to that-that shit hole, an-and work my fuckin’ ass off so you don’t have to! Then I come home, and I-I can’t even get a second of peace!” 

“Stop,” You hiss, finally regaining your composure, his words fully sinking into you  now, feeling the full effect of them. “I-I just had a baby. I’m still on maternity leave taking care of a baby- our baby, and I’m tired too. But I’m not yelling at you-” 

“-Oh, right. Right.” Carmen laughs sarcastically, humorless as he runs his hand down his face. It felt mocking, left you feeling small and too vulnerable for your liking. “Because in between your napping an-and feeding, you couldn’t stick a fucking jacket in the wash, right? You’re so busy.”  

“What is wrong with you?” You snap, hoping he can’t hear the tears in your voice, the way your voice shakes with emotion. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?” Carmen scoffs, throwing his hands out. “I get no fuckin' sleep, go work my fuckin' ass off, a-and then I come home so I can go back and work my ass off some more, and-and you can’t do one simple fuckin’ thing? You can’t help me out? And then you wanna know what’s wrong with me? When you sit on your ass all fuckin’ day-” 

Teddy’s piercing wail pulls you out of your shocked trance, nose and throat burning with hurt filled tears you refuse to shed. Instead, you turn, climbing the stairs on shaky legs, the sound of Teddy’s cries growing louder and louder. Anchovy watches you from the top of the stairs, sensing the tension, your upset, sliding against your leg as if to comfort you. 

Carmen scoffs, hands buzzing and trembling with rage, the ringing in his ears growing louder and louder with each of your footsteps on the stairs and down the hall. He can barely hear Teddy’s sobs, hands threading through his hair, pulling at his scalp. He sees you walk towards the bedroom, quickly, hugging Teddy to your chest. 

“Oh, don’t go fuckin’ do it now!” Carmen roared, your ignoring him only infuriating him further. “It won’t be ready in time now. I’ll just look like a fuckin’ idiot for the critic tonight! Not that you care! Why would you, huh? I-I mean just our livelihood, just our fuckin’ income!” 

You swallowed back your tears, head tilting towards the ceiling, hands shaking with every shove of your things into the overnight bag. Just enough to get you through the night, the next day. A few essentials, Teddy’s spare onesies, a charger, your wallet- you stopped mid-shove of your items into the weekender bag, the sun’s rays catching in your wedding ring. Your heart fell, more and more, you weren’t sure how that was even possible. 

Carmen’s furious voice was still booming from downstairs, ringing and shaking in his furious fit. Richie and Sugar both warned you about Carmen’s tantrums, brought them up to embarrass him, tease him about it until he was red faced and hissing hushed threats at them. You never, never in your wildest dreams thought you’d be on the receiving end of one. 

You jumped, another slam of something Carmen had thrown, maybe hit in a fit of rage, causing Teddy to wail louder, Anchovy skittering nervously away. Tears leaked out of your eyes, twisting the ring off your finger, setting it on Carmen’s bedside table. Pulling the carrier out of the closet, Anchovy got in much easier than usual, which you were thankful for. 

Carmen was gripping the marble of the countertop when he heard you again, walking from the bottom of the stairs, quick steps towards the door to the garage, Teddy’s voice nearly hoarse from her crying. You kept your head high, tunnel-visioned towards your car, ignoring his heavy breathing and frantic pacing. 

“Wha-What are you doin’?” Carmen’s voice was softer now, still with a jagged edge that was cutting and harsh. The car door opened, the baby carrier hooked into the car seat. 

“Hey, wha- what are you- where’re you goin’? What’re you doin’?” Carmen’s heart dropped in a damning rush of hour, stumbling on heavy legs towards the garage. You ignored him, shushing Teddy gently, running a calming hand over her wet cheek, trying to coax her paci into her mouth. 

“Baby, no-no, no. Hey, no, I-I- What-” Carmen’s chest felt tight, mind numbing and racing, stuttering nervously. You reached for your bag, his hand reaching to grab the strap. “Whe-Where’re you-”

“-Don’t touch me.” You hissed, teeth bared, eyes shining with tears. Carmen flinched, pulling his hand back like he’d touched a hot stove. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me.” You sneered, pinning him with a watery glare that had his stomach turning in sickening fear. 

“Baby, hey, w-wait-C’mon, d-don’t-You don’t, you don’t need to do this, ok? I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Carmen choked out the words, frantic and unsure, his hands shaking when they ghosted over you back just for a moment. Wanting to touch you, to hold you, to grab you and keep you from leaving, but too scared to. Instead, he grabbed the car door you flung open, holding it when you tried to yank it closed. 

“Let go.” You hissed, sniffling back wet, snotty tears of fury and hurt. 

“Please, don’t-do-don’t do this. Please, baby, I-I’m sorry.” Carmen begged, blue eyes deepening with the burning red hues of tears, bloodshot and lashes wet. “Don’t-Don’t do this-” 

“-I didn’t do this.” You sneered, leaving Carmen flinching at your words. “Don’t you dare try to say this was me. After how you just talked to me? The shit you said to me in there? You think I’m going to stay?” Your voice cracked with emotion, lips pressing together to keep a cry in. 

“No, no, no, no, no, baby, please. Please, ju-just come inside. Come inside, please? Please, don’t-” 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. To say that kinda stuff to me. That hurt, Carmen. That was mean.” You glared at him, tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. “I don’t care if you’re stressed. I don’t care what’s going on- nothing, and I mean nothing, warrants you talking to me like that. Just because you fucked up, because you forgot to ask me to do it, because you’re stressed out- I don’t care what it is. You don’t talk to me like that, say those things when I’ve been home all day taking care of my ch- our child.” You nod back towards the sniffling baby, whimpering and crying half heartedly, her little eyelids drooping with sleep that was interrupted. 

Carmen felt sick, his knees tightening in fear, he was sure they might give out, that he might fall to the ground right there. Looking at the tiny baby, lip jutted and shaking in the mirror hooked on the back of the seat, then back at you, eyes red-rimmed and glaring at him with a hurt filled anger. 

“Don’t-” Carmen’s chest shook, a white-knuckled grip on the door. 

Your own hand curled around the door’s inner handle, yanking it away from him. “Move,” You hissed, pulling again. 

Carmen wasn’t sure why he let it go, why he let you shut it, locking the door in case he tried to open it again. Why he let you pull out of the driveway, why he didn’t stop you, why he didn’t run after you, only taking soft shuffles down the drive like a zombie as you drove away. Standing in the drive, Carmen swallowed down the spit that pooled in his mouth, stomach churning, sure he was going to be sick. 

He managed to trudge back to the garage, mind racing and far away, the ringing in his ears dulling but still deafening. It felt like he was in a dream- a nightmare, a hallucinating trance that felt like a sick, sick dream- Carmen was hoping it was. That he’d wake up and find you next to him asleep. That he could hug you, pull you into him, nose buried in your neck, still warm from your slumber. 

As the sun began to sink low into the sky, minutes turning into hours that Carmen sat motionless in the garage, staring in a trancelike state, he realized that this wasn’t a dream or a nightmare. No this was his reality, a horrific reality that he’d made into his own. Carmen sat, eyes trained on the concrete of the garage, voice racing and blending in his mind- his words, yours, Teddy’s cries, Natalie and Richie’s, flashbacks of his mother screaming fits. 

He didn’t move, frozen in chilling, eerie fear. What ifs and terrifying possible scenarios, consequences to his own actions that left him feeling sick, hands trembling. A spiraling of fears that only drug him deeper and deeper with every haunting replay of his outburst. Even the flashing of headlights turning into the driveway, filling the garage with light, didn’t pull him from his trance. 

“The fuck is he- Cousin!” Richie roared, laying on the horn. Carmen didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge that he heard it, only stared. Richie frowned, turning the car off, throwing the door open. 

“Cousin? Carm? What-What are you doin’? Dinner service started an hour ago. Syd is freakin’ the fuck out.” Richie threw his hands up, walking towards the man who still didn’t move. Richie’s heart skipped, flashbacks of Mikey flooding into his vision, parallels of the two brothers blurring before him. 

“Yo, Carm, you-you good?” Richie stepped into the garage, his spine tingling with icy fear. It was quiet, an eerie, unsettling quiet. “Cousin, hey, what-what’s wrong?” 

Carmen's chest rose and fell, tighter and tighter. He was suffocating, head spinning and mind racing so fast he felt light headed. He could barely hear Richie’s voice over the noise in his head, Richie’s hand shaking his shoulder finally breaking his trance enough to meet his eyes, rounded in fear filled question. 

“Carmen, what’s wrong? Is it- Don’t fuckin’ tell me it’s the baby. What the fuck is goin’ on-” 

“-She left.” Carmen’s voice shook, raspy and scared. His tongue still felt too thick, head still spinning. He wasn’t even sure he said it, Richie’s widening eyes the only thing confirming that he had said it. 

“What? Who-Who left? Who?” Richie looked around, like the clues might be there, sure that Carmen wasn’t talking about you. No, he wouldn’t- he couldn’t. Not you. 

Carmen’s breath hitched, a strangling of a sob caught in his throat, running his hand over his face. Richie didn’t miss the way it trembled, shaking even as it rested over his eyes. Your car was gone, the house too quiet, no baby Teddy crying, nothing but silence was left. 

Richie’s heartbeat crawled into a rapid, scared pace. “Why? Wh-Why would she-” Richie looked at Carmen, eyes wide but still, reading his expression. “No. No, Cousin, no. What-What did you do? Carmen,” Richie grabbed both his shoulders, shaking him lightly until he met his gaze. “What did you do?” 

Carmen’s face began to crack, behind his eyes, Richie could see flashbacks of something- something he didn’t know what, but whatever it was, it was painful. That was evident by the fear that glossed over Carmen’s eyes, realization and horror. Carmen’s shoulders shook, frame rocking with a sob he tried to swallow, but couldn’t. Deep cries, guttural sobs breaking out of his frame, heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, fingers curled and clenched around his greasy curls in agony. 

The damning realization flooded over him, that you’d left. 

You’d left, you’d taken Teddy, taken Anchovy- you’d left because he’d driven you away. His angry outburst, petulant, mean, hurtful- he’d been so cruel to you. You. His wife, the love of his life, mother of his child, the one person who loved him endlessly without stipulations or boundaries, the one person who truly understood him. 

And he’d driven you away. 

He wished he could blame his mom, his dad, his family for fucking him up so severely, maybe Mikey, even, for leaving him the shit show that was the restaurant, making his anxieties worse and fuse shorter. But sitting in the empty garage, Richie standing above him in silent shock, his sobs and angry sniffles echoing off the cement floor, Carmen knew he had no one to blame but himself. 

He’d fucked up. Really fucked up. Fucked up in a way that made all the other times look obsolete. 

Carmen had fucked up, and for once, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t avoid it, ignore it, deflect it like other times. Half hearted apologies and promises of change wouldn’t work, you weren’t here for him to even try to give them to you, and he didn’t know where you went. 

Carmen wasn’t sure where you went, how to fix this, why he’d done what he did, and a million other things that raced through his mind. What he did know, sitting in the too quiet garage, chest stuttering with heaving cries, was that he’d do anything. 

Anything, to get you back home. To make it right. To fix this and make it up to you. 

He wasn’t sure how, but he’d give up everything. Anything. His restaurant, his dreams, his hopes, his life, at this point, to make it up to you. 

[widowmaxff]

you don't know what you got until it's gone (PART ONE)

pairings: natasha romanoff × fem!reader

warnings: angst, sad ending (in this one)

-> part two!

When you arrived at your shared apartment that night - after your long shift at work - you had a bright hope in your eyes that maybe your girlfriend was there, waiting for you to come home, you always did that for her. But of course she wasn't there again like she had been for the past few months. Natasha is a superhero, obviously she was doing what they do, but she's your girlfriend too, isn't she? So why doesn't she act like it? - you thought.

In the first year of your relationship, Natasha was the most caring person you could ask for. You'd wake up next to her everyday, she would kiss your entire face telling how much she loved you, she would take days off to be next to you all day. And when she had to go to missions, she would apologize a thousand times saying that she doesn't want to be far from you. Now, she just leave a text to you. 'Went on a mission. Don't know how long it will take.' — she typed the same words everytime, you guess she probably just has the message copied already. There wasn't 'I love you' or 'I miss you' in the message, nothing that would show a little affection for you, was she tired of you?

You were standing in the middle of the living room, looking at the picture in the white wall of you and Natasha at a park near your apartment. That was the last time you and her hang out together. The last time she said she loved you, the last time you remember looking at her beautiful eyes and think 'how did I get so lucky?'. In that time, you wouldn't think your relationship would need a heal to get in just days after that photo.

Now, you just sit in the bed in the dark of your bedroom wondering if it's time. You didn't want to have the talk with her, because you knew she wouldn't know what to say to you. And if she did, maybe you weren't ready to hear what she has to say to you. Natasha could be mean if she wanted too, so mean.

Then, you heard the key on the door, your girlfriend was finally home. You took a glance on the digital clock next to your bed - 1:15AM. Natasha was earlier than the other days this week, was she finally going back to your 'normal girlfriend'? The heavy steps of her boots made all your thoughts go away. You took a long breath before she entered the dark room.

"Oh, did I wake you up?" She whispered with frowned eyebrows, seeing your form curled up in your own arms wanting it to be hers, not yours.

You signed before taking your eyes of the floor and look at her. She was still wearing her black suit, you'd always make compliments of it in the past when she'd go to work before you. You remember her face going as red as her hair when you'd say that things to her. "We need to talk."

You didn't miss how her body flinch when you said that words. She knew what you were talking about. "Right now? It's a little late, you know." Natasha almost run over to the closet, open the drawers looking for her some clothes.

"I know. But you always get home later than this all the other days, it won't bother you being awake a little more." You say dryly. She stops before looking at her feet, thinking about the next thing she would say to you, what she needs to say to you?

Natasha turns around. "Okay. What do you want to talk about...?" She tries to stay normal, walking towards you. You still had a cold look on your face, she had never seen you like this.

"Do you still love me?" That caught her of guard. She still loves you. Of course she does, doesn't she? Natasha opens her mouth, being amazed by your question. "Yeah... yes, I do love you, Y/n. I've never stoped loving you."

You bite the inside of your cheek, that was the first time in months that she had said that she loved you, but you are hating the moment. "So why don't you show it?"

"...What do you mean? I don't understand." She shakes her head taking a step closer to you. Natasha cross her arms underneath her breasts, waiting for you to continue what's in your head.

"I know you don't." You obviously knew it. She wasn't around. She wasn't the one who could stay with you on your most heartbreaking days, the one who reassure how important you are, the one who could say that everything was going to be okay. She didn't know it. "You are never around to know if I feel loved by you or not."

"What? Of course I'm around! I still live in here, I lay next to you everyday, Y/n." She has an annoyed face now, like you were taking her precious time and saying stupid things in to her eyes.

"Oh, really? So when was the last time you hugged me? Kissed me? Held my hand? Said you loved me?" You started lift your fingers for every word tha came out of your mouth. "You are never around me, Natasha! You are always working until it's late enough for me to be awake so you can come home! And I know it because Wanda told me that you all are dismissed much more earlier than this." You take a breath waiting for her to continue with the words. You weren't even thinking at that moment, just saying what's in your head.

"Just because I work harder and more than everyone else it doesn't mean that I don't love or care for you!" Her voice starts to be louder by now. "You have to understand that the world doesn't envolves around you, Y/n. That I will stop working because you need me by your side everytime!"

"Well, guess what, Natasha? I actually got used to not have you by my side for the last few months, because you don't try hard to make this relationship works!" You got up at now. She takes a step back making room for you, so you could scream at her annoyed face. "I wait for you everyday! You know you are all I have and the only thing that matters to me. So it would be really nice of you if you do the same for me."

She stays quiet. Looking at your dark eyes by now, seeing how you are really trying to not cry over the argument. Natasha sighs, her hand going to her hair massaging it, trying to think what she could say to you. "Say something, Natasha. Do something!"

"What do you want me to say? That I'm going to quit my job, stop being a super hero just because you want me twenty-four hours per day with you?!" Her hands form fists going to the side of her body, controlling her anger towards you.

"Maybe some days off won't kill you! Risk being by my side, Natasha." You shout at her, her eyes closed hard while her head going low. "Choose something!"

"You are being unbelievable right now."

"Me? Just because I want my girlfriend to spend time with me after months of not caring about our relationship?" Natasha's hands go to her face, massaging her temples trying to be calm, almost being impossible at this point.

She grows before walking past you and heading towards the bedroom door. You only start following her when she is already going down the stairs. Your heart was racing, was she really leaving you? Was her job more important than you? Of course it was. She was years working in there before meeting you. She loved everyone on the team and mostly being a super hero. You weren't the one who could make her risk her job for someone.

Natasha takes her keys before turning around and going to the main door. She still doesn't turned around to see if you were following her, because she knew you were doing it. Your girlfriend opens the door slightly, taking a deep breath. Her head turns to the side with closed eyes, maybe regretting all of it. The argument, not being around you, not being a caring person for you. "Don't stay up waiting for me." And then, she left. You don't know how much time you spend looking at the door, would she come back to you? You didn't know. But you knew you had lost the love of your life, because Natasha was selfish enough to not change for others, even if it means she would lose someone.

[yourelliewillms]

i miss you on a train

ellie williams x reader

angst !! also fluff but mainly angst. liiittle mention of smut.

summary: it's been a year since ellie and you broke up, you haven't spoken since then and she probably thinks you've forgotten about her. what she doesn't know is that you're thinking about her all the time.

the first months were the worst. every night you had a dream about her, the picture of her in your mind would be enough to wake you up in the middle of the night with tears in your eyes or, sometimes, with a smile on your face. but that was the one you hated the most because your dreams usually felt so real, you felt her near you but when you realized it had been just a dream, your day would be completely ruined. you couldn't stop thinking about her. even if you tried, your mind would randomly bring memories that would only break your heart into pieces again and again.

after a year, you can say you're over her or at least that's what you like to think. you really want to move on and maybe start seeing other people to try to take her out of your heart. but everytime you take the train and raindrops fall from the sky to your window like one of those dramatic music videos, the first thing your brain does is bring her back. those green eyes that once looked at you with sparkles in them, strings of her auburn hair falling from her characteristic bun and the heat of her body that used to warm you up during the winter. you can't help thinking about every single detail of her, even if you try to put on your headphones and look out the window to stop those unwanted thoughts, the sound of her laugh in your mind would be louder than the song playing on your phone.

the rain just made things worse, it reminded you of that time ellie and you were on one of your first dates. it was raining, you were soaked but you didn't care at all because you just wanted to be with her all the time. you were walking under the rain, holding ellie's wet hand, was it wet because of the raindrops falling on her arm or because she was so nervous that her hand would sweat all the time your hair was already wet and there were raindrops on your cheeks yet ellie was looking at you with so much love, you could swear there were hearts in her eyes before she gave you that kiss in the pouring rain. you felt your heart fluttering when her shaky hands brushed against your face while she took you closer to her letting your cold nose touch hers, it was only you and her in the world. you remember how soft and hot her lips were that time. you remember the way your hair was sticking to your face and how ellie would stop kissing you for a second to take out the strings of hair that would get on the way of your kiss and then her lips would desperately look for yours again.

you haven't forgotten about those nights when she would show up at your window at 3 am just to show you the pages of that private sketchbook of hers with new drawings that only you were able to see, or some new song she'd learned in her guitar, or just because she missed you. you had to shush her because of how loud she was, always laughing at her own dad jokes and screaming but never failing at putting a smile on your face.

or that first night you spent together. you remember how gentle her touch felt when your naked bodies met each other for the first time. kind and slow the whole night, ellie making sure you were comfortable. her skin burned against yours and you could tell she was nervous just by the way her voice was shaking and her heavy breathing. "just tell me what makes you feel good" you whispered on her ear and she let go a sigh of relief as she nodded. you stood awake all that night because after you touched and kissed every single part of your bodies, you felt the strongest connection you'd ever felt with someone in your life.

the freezing weather brought to your mind those cold nights when you wouldn't talk to each other because some stupid argument in which her words felt like knives piercing in your heart while you told her all her faults. long nights when you'd fall asleep with tears in your eyes and the next morning wake up with migraine, sick to your stomach and your eyes swollen. however, your mood would be completely changed by just one text of hers "good morning, babe" pretending nothing had happened. not a single 'sorry' from either you or her because that was they way your relationship "worked" (it did not).

when you come back to the real world and get out of the bus, you'd look around trying to find her but she's not there. the bus stop is empty and she's not with you there, she's not waiting for you like she used to. the weather is cold and she's not there to give you her jacket, the rain is falling but she's not there to kiss you.

meeting ellie was one of the best yet worst experiences of your life because even if you tried, you can't forget the freckles on her face and the smell of her natural body scent. you hate the fact that you'll never be able forget her.

thank you for reading <3 pleaseee tell me if you find mistakes or if you have any constructive feedback !!

[the-fiction-witch]

Little Lamb

Media - The Artful Dodger Character - Jack Dawkins Couple - Jack X Reader Reader - Miss Y/n Y/l/n Rating - 18 (Blood / Gore / Nudity) Word Count - 2609

Jack was working late in the morgue everyone else in the small hospital already fast asleep, but he tinkered away under the electric lights in the hospital basement practicing a new surgical technique on a fresh cadaver. Every so often checking his book and struggling with the swirling words to understand what he was meant to be doing.

However, the silence soon came to a end as he heard footsteps. Jack's eyes shot up from his book to the entrance of the morgue he’d left the doors open as he never lived being shut in here so late, he was concerned for a moment but soon realised it was just Y/n. Jack had a lot of affection for Y/n, he would very nearly say he loved her, she was a nurse in the hospital and the two spent an awful lot of time together. He wanted to make her his wife but… the rules and social etiquette of Victorian dating were something Jack didn’t understand and frankly couldn’t be bothered to learn,

Jack let out a sigh of relief. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

Y/n stood in the doorway in her little silk nightgown her curls loose around her, clearly she'd been in bed. But she carried a book in hand, "I didn't mean to spook you, Jack,"

Jack’s eyes wandered her body for a moment before focusing again. "What are you doing down here? You should be asleep."

"I had a question" She hurried inside shutting the door softly,

Jack turned his body more to her. "A question? You do know it's the middle of the night, right?"

"Well you’re awake, I'm awake. And I have questions" she shurgged opening her book and flicking through her various notes,

Jack let out a soft groan, but didn't protest. "Alright, go ahead."

"... Mr Clarke in bed seven. We've been dosing him on morphie and noticing his shaking and trembling hasn't stopped I pondered... Did we ask if he smoked?"

Jack sat there for a moment, processing. He mentally slapped himself for forgetting to ask such an important question the last time he spoke to the patient. "No, we didn't ask."

"Could that not be why he's trembling given he hasn't been allowed or able to smoke for the last four days?"

Jack leaned against the table, and let out a sigh. "That's... very much possible. Good point. I can't believe I forgot to ask. Bloody hell.” Jack looked at her again, “Is this what you do at night?”

“How so?”

“Just lay in bed with your note book thinking about patients?”

“... Yes,” She nodded, “why? What do you do in bed?”

“Sleep,” He answered,

“I mean like before you fall asleep,”

“...Drink. Or gamble.” he explained, “Or… think about you,” He suggested trying to give her waist a playful tickle but she elbowed his stomach before he even got close,

“Hands to yourself Doctor Dawkins,”

"So... why such... little clothing?" he smirked,

"I thought I was asking you questions not the other way around?"

He chuckled, “I’m curious,”

"what's wrong with it?"

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes wandering her body again. "Nothing at all. Just very... revealing."

"it's Australia. Its summer. Our bedrooms are both in the attic. Oddly enough I'm hot." She explained, "Besides why is what I wear to bed any of your business."

A smirk formed on his face, as he jokingly said, "Never said I didn't like it. Besides… it’s nice to know what you wear to bed, I can better imagine you now.”

she rolled her eyes "Anyway... I've been considering Mrs gains I don't think she actually has muscle pain... I think she has hysteria"

He raised an eyebrow. "Hysteria? Why do you think that?"

"... She complains about every... Three weeks or so coincidentally the time her husband goes out of town for business, complaining about muscle pain in her upper thigh, and every time we send either you or sneed over to give her a thigh massage that seems to fix it. I don't think she actually has anything wrong with her... Just wants a man to touch her while her husband's away"

It took Jack a moment to process everything that she'd said and then he let out a sigh and ran his hand over his face. "So... Mrs Gains only complains about muscle pain in her thigh every three weeks. Coincidentally the time her husband goes out of town... she complains about it to us so we send over me or Snead to give her a 'thigh massage' and then suddenly it's all fixed as soon as her husband arrives home again.. correct?"

"exactly, does that not seem suspicious to you?"

Jack stood there for a moment, thinking. It did sound rather suspicious, "I suppose but... she's married. Surely she wouldn't cheat on her husband. Right?"

"I don't think she wants to cheat on her husband I think she just likes having you boys massage he upper thigh"

Jack let out a sigh, "Bloody hell.. I've been spending hours just massaging her thigh while her husband is away for work? Christ."

"yeah exactly" she Nodded

Jack groaned again and rubbed his eyes, before looking at Y/n again "How'd you even come up with the idea she might have hysteria anyway?"

"... When you break it down that's all female hysteria is jack, it's women fainting and faking for attention so doctors go over and make them feel better"

Jack sat silently processing. "That's a dark way to think about it but... I suppose you're right. I think you may be right."

"of course I'm right" she smiled shutting her book "That's all, that's what was swimming in my noggin before bedtime."

A soft laugh escaped. He stood close, now towering over her. "Right. Well.. do you mind if I ask another question myself now?"

"... Fine" she sighed

Jack leaned down closer to her "Do you wear clothing like this every night? Or just for me?"

"every night... Why?"

Jack shrugged but had a small smirk on his face and leaned even closer, so close that their bodies were almost touching. "No reason in particular. Was just thinking that I'd like to see you wearing this more often, it's very pleasing to the eye."

she scoffed "Whatever would people think they saw me wondering around the hospital in my nightie let spending time in said nightie alone with a bachelor such as yourself" She used her proper lady tone

Jack chuckled softly and whispered in her ear, "Oh I'm sure we both know nobody would have a problem with the two of us spending time together in here alone."

she glared "You know full well if my father found out you were alone with me he would come down here pack my things and march me home. After beating you with his cane to a bloody plump"

Jack sighed and leaned back slightly, having a grimace on his face. "And don't remind me how much I bloody hate your father. Honestly, he has no good reason to hate me."

"... Doesn't he? You are often alone and make lewd remarks towards his only unmarried daughter."

Jack let out a small 'pfft,' and chuckled "I think 'often' is.. a stretch. Besides, how is flirting with his daughter a reasonable reason for him to hate me?"

"If you had a daughter and found out some boy was flirting with her you wouldn't be angry?"

Jack sighed and rubbed his face again, contemplating an answer. A few moments of silence later, he responded. "I understand it'd be... worrying. But why anger? You're not a child anymore, you're an adult, You can defend yourself and know what's appropriate and not appropriate. So why shouldn't you flirt with the opposite gender if you please? Namely me."

"because that's not how society works jack."

Jack scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Bloody society. So because society says it's not okay for two people to flirt, it's not okay for a man to give a compliment to a woman. Makes perfect sense."

"I didn't make these etiquette rules."

Jack sighed, and slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. "I know that. But that doesn't mean it's reasonable to follow these bloody etiquette rules."

she rolled her eyes resting her hands on his, "I am an unmarried young lady and you are a bachelor. Like it or not there are rules we have to follow. We get away with alot more because your a doctor and I'm a nurse we have excuses to be alone together. If we weren't if you wanted time alone with me you'd have to court me like everyone else."

Jack chuckled at first before rolling his eyes. "Court you? That's a damn joke. You know damn well I won't court you just to be able to spend time alone with you. Besides, if I went and courted you, I'd have to meet with your bloody father, and I'm not exactly in any rush to see that old bastard again."

"...he'd let you, you know." She said quietly

Jack raised an eyebrow, surprised by her answer. "Would he now? The ol' prick would truly give me permission to court you?"

"he's told me before. He'd give you permission if you actually went about properly"

Jack fell silent for a moment, contemplating what she'd said. "... And what exactly would going about it "properly" require me to do?"

"To bathe. Get dressed up in your best shirt. Come to the house. Perhaps bring gifts for my family. Sit down to dinner. Then ask my father for permission to court me."

Jack groaned and rubbed nose against her neck as he imagined the scenario she was describing. He groaned again and rested his forehead against her shoulder. "Good god... that sounds like absolutely torture." He stayed rested against her for a long moment, not saying anything. After what felt like forever, he lifted his head up. "... Say I did go through all that. The bathing, the best clothes, the family dinner and all that bullshit... would you actually say yes?"

"... Not my choice. Father will decide if you can have permission then you'd have to ask me and then go about the courting"

Jack groaned again, "How many damn steps are in this courting situation anyway?"

"... Well asking for permission, asking the lady, first stage of courting where your chaperoned, second stage where you’re unchaperoned, balls and formal events, then engagement."

Jack groaned again, "Christ... that sounds... bloody exhausting."

"oh it is."

"And this is all because society says two grown adults can't spend time alone without being bloody chaperoned?"

"Yep." She nodded "I mean... You could try your luck do all the same things and just ask father for my hand. It's more a risk but if he agrees you jump straight to engagement "

Jack lifted his head back up and raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly is the likelihood of him agreeing? Because if I'm going through all this bullshit I'd like to know if it's pointless or not.."

"... Agreeing to court, I'd say 70% leaving room for potential social issues. Asking for my hand... 50%... If you catch him on a good day... And maybe wait till he's a few whiskeys deep"

Jack chuckled softly. He was surprised to hear those odds. "Damn. That's a surprisingly high chance. I'd assumed it'd be in the 10% range."

"as I said. He's told me before if you were to go about it properly her happily allow it"

Jack let out another long sigh. "Alright. I'm... slightly considering this now. Very, very, slightly considering this."

"you do realize either way we'd have to get married?"

Jack went silent, staring at the ground to the side while he processed that. A few moments later he spoke in a quiet voice. "Y-Yeah... I'm very much aware of that…” He went silent again, thinking. It was hard enough for him to actually imagine himself getting married, but… for y/n. A frown formed on his face as he spoke again. "Bloody hell... your father as my father-in-law..."

she chuckled "You'd only have to see him like once a year"

Jack groaned again. "One too many times if you ask me. Honestly, I can't stand the thought of being in the same room as that old bastard." Jack went silent for another moment, staring at the floor. But after that moment, he let out a long sigh and spoke up again. ".. But I suppose having to deal with him once a year would be... bearable.. if it meant being married to you"

"hum... Getting to see under my nightie really worth that much to you? That you'd go though all the chaos of courting, marrying me, and dealing with my father for the rest of your life?"

Jack couldn't help but chuckle a tiny bit. "Trust me, seeing under your nightie is only a part of the reason I'm considering this. Getting to marry you is the major reason." he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, "Besides... I would rather marry the woman I love, even if I have to deal with her father being a pain in my ass for the rest of my life"

"or you could just go down the pub and pay a lady a few pounds to see under her dress and just remain a bachelor forever?"

Jack chuckled again and slowly leaned even closer to her. "Ah, but there's only one little problem with that idea. I'm in love with bloody you, not some random pub girl."

she chuckled "Well, you know your options, now can I get to bed or you just going to keep me down in the morgue with you all night?"

Jack let out a sigh and very slowly released his grip on her waist. He took a step back. "I suppose you can go off to bed. I'll see you tomorrow as usual?"

"of course, first thing in the morning. You want me to wake you or just meet you in the ward for rounds?"

Jack shrugged and let out a yawn. "Just meet me in the ward for rounds. I'm planning on staying up a little later, you can go get your beauty sleep."

"alright" she chuckled heading to the door but just before she left she turned back "you’re really thinking about this aren't you?"

Jack stayed silent for a moment, as if he was contemplating the question. He eventually let out a sigh and nodded. "... Yeah, I am. I'm actually... genuinely considering it."

she chuckled and nodded slightly a wicked look on her face for a minute "Well..." She smirked her fingers moving to the small straps of her silk nightie and pulling them down to her waist for a brief few seconds exposing her collar, chest and bare breasts before she quickly moved it back up concealing herself again

Jack went completely silent and still while she lowered the straps, his jaw-dropping as his eyes rushed to memorize every tiny little inch of her skin,

"Some encouragement." She blew him a kiss before she headed out of the morgue "See you in the morning doctor Dawkins"

He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding, "Bloody hell..." he whispered before quickly composing himself "Y-yeah.. see you in the morning."

Jack continued to remain completely motionless after she'd left. He just stood there for a while, his mind and body practically frozen while his brain desperately tried to process what had just happened. The image of her for those few seconds was now burnt into his memory.

After a few minutes, he seemed to finally have enough self-control to move again. He let out another heavy sigh, running his hand through his hair to try and keep himself from feeling the burning sense of desire. He quickly tried to distract his mind by thinking of the patients, the paperwork, anything that could make him push that goddamn image out of his mind but too late he saw and he was so so happy he saw.

[archangeldyke-all]

okay, wait y all

EXSEV i mean how she be, toxic? possesive? maybe none of that

maybe she gonna kiss/ fuck you so everyone knows your still hers? idk

maybe you have new partner?

if this inspires you, is nlt necessary have to be what i said, maybe she is a cry baby

but if you do i die for see sev on her knees beg to have you back.

if your comfortable, kiss

omg... OMGGG okay...

(just a quick heads up! this one has a brief scene where reader vomits, so if that is a trigger for u plz don't read!)

men and minors dni

there isn't a big fight. well, that's not entirely true. you fight it tooth and nail, but sevika stays stoic, sad, and sure. she's breaking up with you. you don't understand why.

"i thought things were good-- i thought you loved me!" you shout. you're in your pajamas, had been expecting sevika to come home and cuddle you. you never would've guessed this was coming.

she nods. "they are. i do." she says.

"so then why the fuck--"

"i don't know!" she shouts suddenly. it's silent as she gathers her thoughts. "i just can't do this anymore." she says softly.

"you can't be serious." you whisper. sevika shrugs, looking down at her feet. "what happened today?" you ask. "you-- everything was fine this morning!" sevika shrugs again, still not looking at you. you scoff.

if she had said something, she would've said that today at work she narrowly avoided a knife to her stomach. she would've said that she's never been scared to die before, but today-- she was terrified. all she could think about was your face when you'd get the news. all she could think about was how she could never hurt you like that.

if she had said something, you wouldn't have stormed off to pack a duffel bag, muffling your sobs with the back of your hand.

if she had said something, you would've stayed-- told her that you're both guaranteed to die someday, that you just wanted to spend every moment alive you could with her.

but she didn't. so you left.

sevika is miserable without you. she thought she'd just be back to her old self, the person she was before you-- grumpier, quieter, more tired.

she wasn't. she was much worse than that.

she felt physically ill each morning when she woke up without you beside her. each night, she'd lay in bed awake, her mind replaying the pathetic sobs you tried to hide from her while you packed your bags that night.

each time she comes home to an empty apartment it's like a punch to her gut. her closet is bare now, without your clothes shoved up against hers. her shelves are nearly empty-- all your knickknacks and books gone.

so she starts avoiding home. starts spending more and more hours at the last drop, nowhere near ready to return to babettes. the thought of fucking someone besides you makes her sick.

she doesn't hear from you at all.

you aren't doing much better than she is, but you're determined to avoid her at all costs. the thought of seeing her makes you cry.

about a month after the break up, you bump into her on the street.

you were walking home from the market, hands full with paper bags, trying to figure out what you were going to cook for dinner.

you bumped into someone, cursing and apologizing, cutting yourself off when you look up and your eyes meet with sevika's.

you're both shocked to silence. for a heartbreaking moment, everything feels normal again, like the two of you are walking home from the market together and sevika's stopped in the middle of the street to kiss you.

you shake your head. that's not what's happening here.

you take a step away from her. "hey, sevika." you say sadly.

her heart breaks at the use of her full name. you were the only one who ever called her 'sev.' she missed the nickname.

"hey." she grunts awkwardly. you look around, trying to avoid her gaze, and let out a spiteful laugh when you see the building sevika's loitering in front of.

"back to your girls already?" you spit. sevika freezes, looking over her shoulder at the glowing neon light of babette's.

"no i'm not-- silco's here on business."

"right." you say sarcastically, taking another step away from her. "'s this why you ended it? missed 'em that much?" you ask. "or maybe you were fuckin' 'em all along. didn't want me to figure it out."

you're spiraling right in the middle of the street, all the rage and sadness and grief boiling over at the sight of sevika.

"don't be fucking stupid. you know i'd never cheat on you." she spits. you laugh hysterically.

"yeah, well there were a lot of things i thought i knew, sevika." you say. "thought i knew you were the one." you shrug. "guess i was wrong about that, though, huh?"

you may as well have ripped her heart out through her chest. she realizes then what she's done to you, how heartbroken you truly are. she has to ball her hands into fists to keep from reaching up and brushing your tears away. she bites her tongue and reminds herself that this is what she wanted.

"have a good night." you say, sidestepping her and hitching your paper bags further up your hip. "don't forget to tip your girl."

your friends take you out one night in an attempt to cheer you up. it's been a month and a half since the breakup, and you still feel just as gutted and horrible as the night it happened.

they take you to the last drop, but only after you give it the okay. you still have sevika's schedule memorized, so the only reason you agree is because you know she'll be off tonight.

it's nice to be back. sevika's coworkers greet you with smiles and hugs, telling you they've missed having you around, asking you where you've been.

you realize that sevika hasn't told them about the breakup. it makes you furious.

"she broke up with me." you say to theriam as he whips up your usual drink order. he freezes.

"seriously?" you nod. "what the fuck'd she do that for?" he asks. you try not to burst into tears at the question, simply shrugging.

"wish i knew." you whisper. "think she got bored of me." he scoffs behind the bar.

"no way, she's obsessed with you. it all makes sense now, she's been a total bitch for like... five or six weeks now." he says. "she's been miserable." he adds. you shrug again.

"yeah?" you ask. he nods. "good." you say. he chuckles and passes you your drink, telling you to have a fun night.

you and your friends dance and drink-- and for a few hours you really do manage to feel okay again. that is, until sevika walks in.

your eyes meet across the dance floor and you both freeze. sevika feels something warm bubble up in her stomach at the sight of you, and she tries to swallow it down.

she storms to the bar to drink away her feelings, downing three shots in quick succession before ordering a drink.

you keep your eyes trained on sevika, a fact she's well aware of. she can feel your gaze on her, she's always been able to. she wonders if she should come talk to you, wonders if it would be the right thing to say hello.

she catches your eye from the bar and waves shyly at you. you roll your eyes at her but wave back anyways. she has to bite back a grin.

beside her, a woman's hand slowly snakes up her arm. she's so caught up in the sight of you she doesn't notice one of babette's girls (for the life of her she can't remember her name) draping herself over sevika until the woman's purring in sevika's ear.

"long time no see, sevika." she whispers, her tongue flicking sevika's earlobe. sevika jumps in her seat, whipping around to face the woman, then back around to face you.

you look devastated.

you look... slightly green.

sevika pushes the woman off of her as you bolt from the bar, running after you.

she finds you vomiting in the alley between bouts of crying.

"shit." she says at the sight of you. she walks over to pull your hair back from your face and rub on your back, only to be furiously smacked away by you.

"get the fuck away from me!" you cry out before another round of bile forces its way out of you. she doesn't move, and your vomit splatters on her shoes. it makes you feel slightly better.

"you okay, baby?" she asks. the petname rolls off her tongue subconciously, and she cringes when she hears herself say it.

you snap up from where you were bent over, fire in your eyes as you shove sevika away from you with both hands, hard. she barely stumbles.

"you do not get to call--"

"i know." she cuts you off. "i'm sorry. it was a mistake." she says softly.

suddenly, you're bursting into tears. you bury your face in your hands and try to compose yourself, but something about sevika's presence makes it impossible.

across from you, sevika is digging her nails into her palm to keep from reaching out and gathering you in her arms. she tries speaking.

"it's not what it looks like." she says. you laugh between your cries, shaking your head.

"none of my business anyways, you're not mine anymore." you reply shakily. with a deep breath, you pry your hands away from your face, wiping away your tears and snot.

it's sevika's turn to laugh. "don't be ridiculous." she says. you blink up at her in confusion, your eyes wide and watery, and something inside her snaps. "of course i'm still yours!" she shouts. you jump at the outburst. "i can't sleep, i can't eat, i'm a fucking mess all the time. i can't even-- i can't even step foot inside babette's, the thought of someone else makes me sick to my stomach. i can't go home either-- not without you there. you're all i ever think about, and i miss you so much it hurts!" she finishes with a shout. rage bubbles up inside of you.

"then why'd you break up with me, jackass?!" you spit out. "you did that, remember? that wasn't me, that was you. none of this is my fault-- i don't even know why it happened! you left for work one morning as the love of my life and you came home that night and dumped me! i-- you-- you fucking broke my heart," your voice cracks, "and now you're acting like it's my fucking fault!"

sevika is silent. this is the last thing she ever wanted. she broke up with you to avoid this, to avoid the horrible heartbroken look on your face, to avoid the way your hands are shaking uncontrollably by your sides. it occurs to her now, with you sobbing uncontrollably in front of her, that maybe leaving you wasn't the best way to keep you safe and happy. maybe you needed her as much as she needed you.

she thinks about it for a second, how heartbroken she would've been if you'd dumped her out of the blue with no explanation. she thinks she'd probably have gone on a murderous rampage.

oh shit, she thinks as she watches you storm past her back into the bar, i've made a horrible mistake.

sevika spends the rest of the weekend working on 'operation: win you back.' it goes something like this:

on monday morning you get to work and find an envelope stuffed in your locker. you open it curiously, it isn't signed or addressed, and you wonder if it's an old paycheck your manager forgot to give you.

inside is a five page handwritten letter from sevika. upon seeing her handwriting, you scoff and crumble the letter up, throwing it back in your locker and slamming the door.

that night, though, as you're shoving your coat on to leave for work, you can't help but slip the ball of paper into your pocket. you tell yourself it's just to take it home to throw away, but you know it's a lie.

you read it in bed that night, sobbing. the letter is unfiltered and rambling, you chuckle a few times at lines you can practically hear sevika speaking out loud in your mind.

"i think i fucked up," is one of your favorite lines, second to "i'm never going to be able to stop loving you."

the letter details everything, the near death miss you'd never known about, the way she had a panic attack in the back of the last drop afterwards, her mind imagining your heartbroken wails as you get the news she's died. she writes about how miserable she was without you, how everything seemed to get dimmer, how food lost its taste, and drinking lost its fun. she writes about realizing how much she must have hurt you, how sorry she is for being so careless with your heart.

you fall asleep with the papers pressed against your chest.

on tuesday, you wake up to someone knocking at your door, a deliveryman with a bouquet you needed to sign for.

when you take the flowers inside you open the card in the front. it simply reads, 'have a good day. S.'

on wednesday, you bump into sevika as you leave work to start your walk home. she avoids your gaze as she asks to walk you home. you say yes, heart melting at the awkward way she's rubbing the back of her neck.

"how've you been?" she asks you. you chuckle and shrug.

"goin' through a rough patch with my girlfriend, so you know. things could be better." you say.

you don't miss the grin that grows on sevika's face when you refer to her your girlfriend. she doesn't mention it, and you don't either, but you do reach out to snatch her hand into yours.

she doesn't kiss you goodbye when you get home, but she does hug you for a solid three minutes, breathing in your scent, soaking in the way you feel against her body.

god, she'd missed you.

nothing happens on thursday. at least, that's what you think until you get home and see sevika waiting outside of your front door with takeout in her hands. you raise an eyebrow at her.

"i don't remember inviting you over." you say. she shrugs.

"you don't have to let me in. just wanted to make sure you were eating right." she says as she hands the bag of food to you.

you consider her for a moment, then roll your eyes.

"come on." you say, as you unlock your door. "i don't have any whiskey but i've got some beers in the fridge."

the two of you spend the night catching up on the couch. sevika tells you all the crazy work stories she hasn't been able to tell anyone for nearly two months, and you do the same.

after a few beers, you both start talking about what went down between the two of you. sevika apologizes profusely, going into great detail on how she's going to make it up to you, how she's going to rebuild the trust she broke. you roll your eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling at her words.

"what?" she asks. you scoff.

"you're gonna make me cry again." you huff. "don't you think you've done enough of that lately?" you ask wobbly as tears start to bubble up in your eyes. sevika takes a shaky breath beside you.

"don't cry." she demands. "'cause then i'll cry." you laugh, and lean forward to bury your face in her chest.

sevika freezes for a moment, before reaching up to curl her arms around you, holding you against her as both of you cry.

you make her sleep on the couch that night, because you're still feeling a bit butthurt.

but in the middle of the night, you wake up cold and alone and acutely aware of sevika snoring twenty feet away from you. fuck it you think as you get out of bed and shuffle into the living room, nudging sevika awake.

"wha-?" she blinks awake. "you okay, honey?" you melt at the nickname.

"come on." you say, turning to walk back to your bedroom.

sevika sits in confusion for a few moments until you call for her from bed. "come on, sev!" she sprints into your room, diving into bed and giggling as she curls up in your arms.

on friday, you wake up with sevika on top of you, snoring away, right where she belongs. you breathe in the smell of her shampoo, press a kiss to her scalp, whisper sweet nothings into the top of her hair.

she wakes up somewhere between your "i love you so fuckin' much." and your "you're such a fuckin' asshole for making me pay rent all on my own."

"jus' move back in with me." she grumbles, still half asleep. you laugh.

"signed a year long lease." you say.

"so break it." she groans as she picks her head up to look at you, shuffling off your tits to lay beside you on a pillow. you turn over to face her, your noses brushing together.

"and wreck my credit? what'll happen next month when you break up with me 'cause someone shoots at you?"

it's quiet for a second, and you sigh.

"sorry. that was fuckin' rude." you grunt out. sevika shakes her head.

"it's cool, i deserve that." she says.

"it's not cool. not after last night. and this whole week. i get it, sev. i get why you did it. it just..."

"really fucking sucked of me?" she guesses. you giggle.

"yeah." you say. she smiles.

"so let me move in with you." she says with a shrug. you gawk at her. she shrugs. "i'll break my lease. i just wanna... be with you. if you'll have me."

"your apartment's half a block from your job!" you say. she shrugs. "and the shower here sucks!" she shrugs again.

"yeah, but you're here." she says easily. tears start welling in your eyes.

"okay." you huff out. sevika beams. "but i reserve the right to actually fucking murder you if you break my heart like that again." you add on. sevika grins.

"of course, baby."

you were gonna make her wait a few more days to kiss her again, but you can't keep yourself from leaning forward to kiss her breathless right then and there.

sevika's crying when you pull away.

"what's wrong!?" you ask, panicked. she giggles and pulls you in for another quick kiss before she speaks.

"nothing. i'm just so fuckin' happy you're mine again."

the two of you spend the weekend moving sevika into your apartment.

the space starts feeling like home with each box of sevika's stuff you unload.

you sleep soundly for the first time in weeks on saturday night, after sevika'd spent hours eating you out.

on sunday, she takes you out for dinner and a walk in the park. unbeknownst to you, sevika's 'win you back' plan had one final bonus step titled 'if things go well.'

you're in the middle of rambling to sevika about the book you're in the middle of reading when she stops in her tracks. you pause and turn around to look at her.

"you okay?" you ask. it's just the two of you in the park this late at night. you and a few geese swimming in the fountain pond beside you.

"i--i was gonna wait til we had a house together." sevika says. you furrow your brow in confusion. "but these past two months made it crystal clear to me that if there's ever anyone in this world who'll get me-- it's you." she says. you frown, unsure of where she's going.

"baby what--"

"and i-- you know, i'm trying to tell you my feelings now. all of them." she says. you nod, encouraging her to talk but still completely unsure of where her train of thought is headed. "so... right now-- and honestly probably for years now-- i feel like i want to marry you. and know it's probably a bad time to do this because we just broke up, but... i feel like i don't wanna wait anymore to make you my wife." she rushes out. you blink at her and she shrugs. "you don't have to--"

she's cut off by your hysterical laughter as you double over in front of her. "you're proposing!?" you gasp out. she nods in confusion. you burst into another round of laughter. "sevika!" you laugh.

"what?"

"this is a horrible time to propose! and you're not even on one knee! and you don't have a ring! you're crazy!" you say between laughs. she frowns, looking down at herself like she's just now noticing these things too. she pouts. you take a moment to compose yourself, wiping away your tears of laughter and standing back up to your full height. "you're lucky i'm fuckin' crazy for you, too." you say, leaning up to kiss her pout away.

"is-- what-- does that mean...?"

"yes. i'll marry you." you say, nodding. sevika blinks, then grins, tackling you onto the grass beneath you and kissing you breathless.

"i love you so fucking much." she says against your lips.

"i love you too." you say, giggling up at her. "good job sharing your feelings."

"yeah?" she asks you, pride shining through her voice. you grin and nod.

"definitely."

"i'm sorry i didn't do it right--"

"i don't care." you cut in. "i mean-- you're definitely getting me a ring, and a nice one too!" you say pointing up at her where she hovers above you. she nods enthusiastically. "but-- it was perfect. i mean it was horribly unromantic and i think i'm laying in goose shit right now, but it was you, you know? i'll always say yes to you." you say, grinning. sevika melts above you.

"you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." she says. you smile. sevika leans down to kiss you, not even caring that the hand she's holding herself up with is squishing a pile of shit.

hell, she'd eat shit if it meant you kept giggling and kissing her like this.

so, overall, the breakup was shit. but it ended up being one of the best things that's happened to either of you.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix

[geekyarmorel]

Hey it’s me a shy anon!

I was wondering if I could get how the RE8 women would react to finding Reader on the couch asleep after waiting for them to finish work?

Your writes are amazing!!! 💓💓

Omg that sounds like a cute idea! I love it! And thank you omg, I try my best

Also sorry it took so long! I hope it's worth the wait!

Alcina:

She stretched her neck as she finished the last page of today's work. A glance to the clock revealed what a late hour it was, making her grimace. She had told you she would work that late.

"I'm sorry for working so late draga mea." She says to you, "How is your book?"

When she receives no answer she turns to you on the chaise, instantly softening as she takes in your sleeping figure.

The book is in your lap, hands loosely holding onto it. Head leaned against the back of the chaise, a serene look upon your face as your lips are slightly parted and very soft snores slip past it.

She rises and snuffs out the candles saving one to light her walk after she picks you up effortlessly and makes her way out the door.

You stir slightly in her arms but settle down quickly as she shushes you and presses a kiss upon your forehead.

Turning the blankets down she carefully changes you into comfortable clothes before tucking you into bed.

You blink into somewhat of an awake state, "Alci?....Hold me?"

Alcina purrs soft and low, slipping into bed after changing as well. "Of course draga mea. I would love nothing more." She says as she pulls you to her front, safe and secure in her hold.

Donna:

The house was quiet on this rainy day, her dolls content playing by themselves as she worked on yet another project.

This doll she was making just for you, a pretty little copy of the one you told her was your favorite when you were little.

She remembered seeing the sad look and tears when you said it had gotten destroyed in a house fire.

She worked for a while, getting majority of the carving out of the way before calling it time to quit.

Going to the living room Donna stopped in the doorway melting at the sight in front of her. You lay on the couch, blanket thrown over you, holding one of the dolls in your arms.

Quietly she comes over to you, brushing the hair out of your face. You looked so peaceful that she didn't want to wake you but she knew that your back would hurt in the morning if you slept on that all night.

"Cara mea." She cooed softly, hand gently stroking your cheeks and down your arms. "Wake up, it's time to move to our bed."

It took you a few seconds to rouse awake, eyes blinking in confusion. "Bed?" You mumbled.

"Yes love, bed." She reached out and took the blanket off of you, letting you set down the doll. Once your arms were free she helped you up, leading you to bed.

It didn't take long to change into pajamas and slip into bed, arms wrapping around her middle to pull her to you. Together you both found sleep this way.

Bela:

She's playing the piano, trying to decide which piece is her favorite out of the ones you gifted her.

"What do you think of this piece love?" She asked, continuing to play. Though she slowed when you didn't answer.

Looking over she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the sight of you.

You were curled up on the chaise asleep, blanket slipping off your shoulders.

How could you be so cute and not be awake? Her heart felt full of love when she looked at you, perhaps that's why she found everything about you so appealing.

She buzzed over to you and lifted you in her arms, pressing a kiss to your cheek as she took you to your room.

You stirred in her arms, blinking awake as she opened the door. "Bela?"

"You were asleep onthe chaise. I think it's bed time now." She answers, setting you on the bed.

After tucking you in, she makes sure everything is just right before she settles in with you.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Cassandra:

With a satisfied smirk she leaves the man-thing shaking and crying in the basement. She'd finish him later, if he didn't pass of blood loss.

She hums to herself as she locates you with her hearing, your heartbeat soft and slow. She smiles faintly, you're asleep in the study.

She conjures up what you'll look like when she finds you as she heads there.

No doubt you'll be on the oversized floor cushion, it was your favorite place to recline while reading or playing your kalimba.

You'd be curled up with that navy blanket that you loved as well, perhaps it's slipped down your shoulder as it tends to do.

Slipping through the door she smiles as she is right down to the last detail.

Swarming over she sets aside the kalimba before picking you up effortlessly and carries you to bed.

You nuzzle into her embrace, humming contently causing her smile to widen.

She tucks you underneath all the blankets, fluffing the pillows for you. "Cassie?" You murmur, not opening your eyes.

"I'm here baby." She assures you, slipping into bed next to you. "Sleep now, I've got you."

"Mmmkay." And it's not long before you're back asleep and she's drifting off beside you.

Daniela:

She giggles as she peeks behind a door, nope you're not there. She's decided to play hide and seek with you without any super abilities.

She checks another room without any luck, a pout forming on her lips.

This is getting annoying, would it hurt if she used her hearing? Just to check and make sure you're okay?

She ends up tuning into the sound of your heart. And she notices it's slow and steady, and there's the slow breathing accompanying it.

Oh you must be asleep, this makes her giggle. How adorable.

Hurrying to you, she finds her mother sitting on the chaise in the library. She smiles and motions behind her.

There you are curled up with a blanket covering you.

"I was beginning to get worried, it was taking you a long time to find them." Her mother expressed, smiling as she watches Daniela pick you up and hold you close.

"I wasn't using my powers, it was more fun that way." She replies, kissing your forehead as you nuzzle deeper into her arms.

"I see. Well better head to bed little bug, take care of your love."

"Yes mother, goodnight."

"Goodnight Daniela."

Daniela turns and exits, heading to her room. It doesn't take long to arrive and tuck you under the blankets. With a very content hum she slips under the blankets with you and falls asleep.

Mother Miranda:

She rolls her shoulders as she puts away her last bit of paperwork before heading up and out of her lab.

She notices the house has few lights on, was it later than she thought?

"Lovebird?" She calls as she walks through the halls and finding nothing but empty rooms.

Did you go to bed without her? If so that's very unusual, typically you wait up for her.

She checks the bedroom but finds it empty as well. Where could you be?

"Lovebird." She calls again, heading toward the den. Maybe you were there, you had taken it over as a makeshift studio/office space.

Opening the door she smiles her faint smile as she sees you. You're curled up on the couch, head resting on the arm of it and you're covered by her cardigan that she had left this morning.

She uncovers you and you let out a whine at the cold air that touches you before blinking awake. "Mira?" You ask, still half asleep.

"It's late lovebird, come to bed with me." She says, picking you up and letting you wrap yourself in her arms as your legs wrap around her waist. "You're such a koala." She murmurs as you sleepily kiss her neck and cheek.

"But 'm yours." You say, making her chuckle soft and low.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She said assuringly, kissing you in return after opening the bedroom door. "Do you want to change yourself or do you want my help?"

"Help please." You say, still sleepy. She doesn't say anything as she picks out a soft cotton nightgown and helps you into it. She chooses a soft pair of sleep shorts and match shirt, changing in little time and then slips you and herself into bed.

"I love you." You murmur against her skin as you tuck yourself by her side.

"I love you too." She replies, kissing your forehead. It doesn't take long for you to fall back asleep, hand coming to curl over her heart. The gesture instilling a sense of warmth in her and with another faint smile she falls asleep with you in her arms.

[firstelevens]

for the intimacy prompts: "wearing someone’s clothes" (dealer's choice for ship/character!) 💕

23. wearing someone's clothes

get in the time machine losers we're returning to the au that has made me want to write a parks au for every single fandom I encounter: parks and rebellion

When he reflects on this moment somewhere down the line, Cassian will choose to blame the fact that he got too much sleep last night. He's pretty sure he's gotten by on four hours a night at least since he was in college, and getting the full physician-recommended eight hours is such a foreign concept that he woke up this morning terrified because he couldn't feel his shoulders and then realized that he couldn't feel them because they weren't actively tensed for once.

He'd been disoriented, to say the least, but he's already running late to meet the rest of the Parks crew for the Harvest Festival setup, so he moves through the house in a rush, dressing in the first clothes he can get his hands on and fielding Kay's increasingly impatient texts as he fills a travel mug with coffee and flies out the door.

The rest of the team is assembled and waiting for him by the entrance to Starloft Park: even Tonc, who'd literally laughed out loud when Cassian said they'd all need to be there by 8 AM.

"I'm so sorry," he says, as he hurries over to join them. "I was up late working on the copy for the radio spot, and it all just..."

He gestures with his hand, like that should save him from offering any more explanation. It's not a lie, technically. He'd texted Jyn to cancel the movie night that they were supposed to have and then she'd appeared at his door with a pizza and multicolored index cards to help with the script. Cassian just wasn't built to resist an overture like that.

Still, while he's willing to bet that Bodhi knows what's going on, that hardly explains the strange look the entire rest of the group is giving him.

"So you finished the script?" Chirrut finally asks, with an inexplicably knowing smirk on his face.

"Uh, almost," says Cassian. "I was up pretty late last night, so I should probably proofread it again." And maybe actually write more than a sentence of it, he adds in his head. They can probably hit the 30 second mark if he works in a few of the ideas that he and Jyn batted around last night.

"Perfect," says Bodhi. "Since Cassian's got that taken care of, we can all focus on handling our assigned stations."

As he reads off the spreadsheet that Cassian emailed everyone yesterday, there's the sound of gravel crunching underfoot, and Cassian looks over his shoulder to see Jyn joining them. She's the one who's technically supposed to be at City Hall instead of out here, but for some reason, her eyebrows shoot up in surprise when Cassian turns to face her.

When he raises an eyebrow in response, though, she just shakes her head.

Bodhi pauses in the middle of rattling off assignments to greet Jyn as she comes to stand between Chirrut and Cassian.

"I thought you said you had back to back meetings this morning," says Cassian, eyeing her work boots and paint-stained jeans.

She shrugs. "I rescheduled. Figured you might need help from someone who knows how to use power tools," she says, with a significant look at Kay, who scowls back at her.

"Glad to have your help," says Baze, before the two of them can start arguing. "We'll need it."

They're joined by some vendors before Bodhi can continue, and just as everyone is splitting up to tackle their assignments, Jyn leans towards Cassian and says, "Nice sweatshirt, by the way."

He blinks at her, confused until he looks down at himself: in his too-well-rested daze, he'd grabbed the first warm thing within reach and put it on to guard against the October chill.

The 'first warm thing within reach' had, in this case, been Jyn's faded and much-beloved Lah'mu State Park hoodie, which she'd tossed over the back of his couch at some point in the evening and hadn't been awake to retrieve before Cassian left the house today.

Cassian looks from Jyn, smirking delightedly at him, to his departing co-workers, some of whom are glancing back at them curiously.

"Thanks," he says, and feels and exhilarated swoop in his stomach before he adds, "it's my girlfriend's."

[o5-10]

Never before shared RP 1: Nina's kidnapping/Ludivolo-ing for Ten's assassination

Visibility: No

Warnings: kidnapping, brainwashing, injections

Liu, Hazmi, Tanushree, and Madhavan @the-end-and-the-way/ @motherfuckinchaos

Nina: Me

The operatives had not been keen to get out of bed in the middle of the night to clear out the basement. The ride at breakneck speed to the Site had been harrowing, despite the lack of traffic. And now Hazmi was nowhere to be found, despite Liu having texted him the wake phrase several times already.

Trying not to scream (because it was bad idea to do so in the heart of a Foundation site in the middle of the night), Liu wrenched open Hazmi’s door. There he was, the idiot. He’d been trying to wake a sleeping sleeper agent by text. No sign of Newport yet, so Liu thanked his stars, crossed the room and clearly enunciated the phrase into Hazmi’s ear.

“Oh-wuuuoo, what’s this?”

And just like that, Hazmi was awake and alert, conditioning repressing any residual sleepiness. Liu breathed a sigh of relief, and motioned to him to stand behind him. Newport might arrive at any minute now.

Nina glanced at her watch, well that wasn't great, she was running a little late. "Late" by the standards of support staff was, of course, quite a bit less time than most people would consider "late," and so at the 25 minute mark, she got to the office, a tired, but sincere, smile on her face, "Hi, uh, sorry I'm a bit, late, I don't really have a great explanation, I must've miscalculated a bit when estimating," she fiddled with her scarf a bit, before extending her hand to Liu.

"Anyway, he's clearly the reason I'm here, so you must be my contact, right?" She'd never been great at conducting interviews like this, she could do it, but it felt like more attention than she was comfortable with. Having the mysterious Anonymous, who now had a face, with her would help that, a lot. She was silently thankful for it.

“No worries at all, in fact, I should be thanking you for your quick response,” Liu took her hand. “Yes, Hazmi is my colleague, whose data you’re here to collect for Recordkeeping. I hope that we can get this over as soon as possible,” He turned to Hazmi, who nodded. “This interview won’t take much time at all.”

“Sorry to trouble you,” Hazmi, or the shell of Hazmi, said. “It’s... It was my fault, and I’ll cooperate with you, Miss Newport.”

She nodded, giving two shakes before letting go, "Yes, that, do you have a list of questions I should be asking? Or should I go with my gut here?" Well, that's a great start, isn't it?

She shook her head, looking at Hazmi, "Oh, no, no, I wouldn't say it's necessarily your fault. If you're suffering, and you just don't have the tools to cope, it's not a fault. Just a responsibility. But cooperation is always appreciated, does make it easier on everyone, yeah?”

“Just begin at the beginning, Hazmi.” Liu said. “Maybe asking questions as they come to mind might help. You might want to sit down though, you may need to write.” He pulled up Hazmi’s desk chair.

Hazmi sat on the bed, looking rather put upon. “We were tasked to gather intel for the ferreting out of agents whose loyalties are suspect,” he said. “Most of the data we were instructed to keep in our heads only.”

"Thank you," she gave Liu an appreciative look, taking the seat, and opening her binder to a blank page, she'd put it in the proper forms later.

That all made sense enough, internal affairs and all, "What was your role, specifically? And did you focus on any particular task forces, or did you handle all agents?”

Hazmi glanced at Liu, who had picked up a folder from the desk, and was flipping through it. “I was our team recorder,” he said. “I thought I was doing fine, but I- “ He stopped, passing a hand over his forehead. “I- did just what was required of me, I don’t understand-“

Liu slipped the glossy photograph out from the inner pocket of his parka, and inserted it into the file.

Nina noticed him flipping through files, he must've been double checking things, whatever he was doing she didn't focus too much on him, she was focused on being supportive to Hazmi, but getting the information she needed, as well.

"That makes sense. Where did the problems start, do you think? Or when did you, or those around you, first notice it? If you are okay to answer.”

“The research division. When I was transferred to the research division.” Hazmi sat up, looking straight ahead now that the distraction that Liu needed was over. “I-“

“You may want to look at this,” Liu interrupted from behind her, thrusting the folder with the defanged Berryman-Langford in it into Nina’s view.

The factotum was nodding, writing things down in shorthand as she tried to formulate how to politely word her next question when the demeanor of the man she was interviewing changed suddenly. Before she could ask him what happened, though, Liu was speaking, and shoving papers in front of her, which must have been important.

"Ah, thank you, again, I don't think you ever gave me a name," she didn't wait for a response before beginning to page through the folder. He would surely understand. This was time sensitive, and she couldn't be away for too terribly long. Learning a name didn't require eye contact.

The papers fell as she felt her body freeze. What the hell was that? Not that she could get an answer. She couldn't even ask the question, she could only shift her eyes up and maybe the hopeless confusion would be conveyed. What the hell kind of sick joke? Was this the kind of thing this Hazmi was doing? If it was...the prognosis was going to be bad. And she worried. About everyone involved. But she couldn't do much about it. At all. Hopefully her mysterious contact would help? He had seemed to want to. Someone had to.

“Not important,” Liu muttered, watching Nina tense. He nodded to Hazmi, who stood up. “She’s going to be conscious but unresponsive for maybe a couple hours. We’re going to the car park, one level down.”

Hazmi lifted Nina carefully from the chair, and followed Liu.

She very, very much didn't like this, but yet again, there wasn't much to do. She wasn't as self-flagellating as her boss, but she felt so fucking stupid, right then. Her heart was in her mouth when he responded like that. Oh. And then he continued, and she wanted to cry, to call someone, anything.

She was hoping for the best, but even the best wasn't looking very good from where she was, which was being hoisted by a complete stranger she had been led to believe was potentially very not okay, and was demonstrably very not a friend. She was torn between concern, fear, and rage. Which one didn't matter, though. Her mind kept drawing back to concerns about her friends, and more importantly, her boss, who she knew needed her assistance. Maybe it was to distract from thinking about the current nightmare scenario.

Well, maybe she'd get lucky and be rescued. She could just listen and store everything, in case? There had to be a way to make this somewhat useful. There had to.

Wasting no time, Liu retraced his steps exactly through the corridor, and down the staircase back to the underground car park, Hazmi behind him. The device in his jacket would disrupt the security camera feeds for the couple of seconds they would take to run past them, but there was still the risk of meeting someone on the way down. Reaching the car park, he flung the door of the van open for Hazmi, who lifted Nina into the back. For good measure, Liu snatched the cuffs from the driver side seat, grabbing Nina’s stiff hands to put them on.

Her eyes were panicked and darting, confusion and fear apparent even as her facial muscles remained fixed in their expression of professional attentiveness. Liu looked away, snapping the cuffs on. “I’ll drive,” he said to Hazmi, who was putting a blanket on Nina. “Keep her hidden, and hold on.”

He climbed into the driver's seat and clicked off the device (they needed the card machines to work, to get out of there). Once they were past the gantry and out of the Site, he floored it all the way back.

Nothing could truly have prepared her for the weight and intensity of this situation. It wasn't the end of the world, because that? Everyone she knew was prepared for. And if it was the end of the world, she would be able to respond.

She couldn't.

Screaming, crying, begging, bargaining, all were off limits to her, and that was bad enough. But the worst was being unable to even flinch. The cuffs were cold, unnecessary, dehumanizing, and her instincts screamed to flinch away, trying to force a reflex through a body that wouldn't, couldn't respond.

Blankets were supposed to bring comfort. Covering someone with one was supposed to be a gentle act. This was neither, and she knew it.

She knew the most likely suspect for the cause behind the curtain. But why her? Wouldn't someone else be more strategically valuable? She didn't have much for them. And how had she been so stupid. The acting was good. Or maybe they did need help and were trying to get two birds?

Her thoughts jerked to a screeching halt when the car did. They were going to take her wherever they took people like her, she supposed. The words of a bargain burned her throat, but she'd given up the ghost on willing that one to happen. She'd just have to run out the clock. Willpower, right?

“Welcome back, boss,” Tanushree stifled a huge yawn. She was still in pyjamas, though the hem of her pants were jammed into standard issue trainers. She levelled a gun at Hazmi and Nina, which Liu slapped away. “Tan, you idiot, that’s the sleeper and the target.”

“Oh,” Tanushree did a double take, and led them back into the base. “That’s the one for whom all that stuff is for, huh? Madhavan’s down there. We’re ready to go.”

“Thanks,” Liu said, following her down into the basement.

Madhavan was bent over the amnestics, but gave them a little wave. “Put her down,” she called to Hazmi, who did so. “Strap her in, forehead included, this might be a bit of a jolt.” She adjusted Nina’s head so that her gaze pointed straight ahead. “Eyes,” she said, cheerfully. “Eyes gotta be on the cognitohazards. And let me just give her some eye drops, because god knows she can’t blink.”

Oh. Guns. Okay, that was somehow...comforting. No, that's not the right word. Familiar. Having guns in her direction was familiar. Man, was that fucked up. Being leveled with a gun was somehow an improvement.

"All that stuff"? Oh, shit. No. What the hell could that even mean? She couldn't talk, and wouldn't be able to for a while, so torture would be pointless. Unless they were just that damn sadistic, which she couldn't rule out.

She was starting to hate the concept of touch. And was it necessary to pull everything quite that tight? And--oh. Good. More touching she could do nothing about.

She tried to see Madhavan through her peripheral vision, but success was limited. She didn't want to look ahead.

God damn it. More touching. And saline. She wanted so much to move.

But this was some Clockwork Orange nightmare scenario. And even shifting her gaze wouldn't necessarily save her.

And everyone's attitudes were so, so eerie.

Madhavan was talking with her hands now, animated, in her element. “First, we cover ourselves,” she said, handing one dose of 9th gen to Tanushree to administer. “Before the engrams solidify, we can get rid of the last couple hours or so.” Tanushree, donning a face mask, took the canister and administered a short burst to Nina’s face.

“The best thing about these, I find, is that in conjunction with the suggestibility techniques we are gonna use later, they can encourage the formation of plausible new memories in the missing interim.” Madhaven motioned to Hazmi to step forward into Nina’s line of sight. “It’s hoped that she’ll only remember you.”

“Next, we weaken the so-called immune system.” Madhaven handed Tanushree a hypodermic this time. “Just the smallest possible dose of Fugue-class. She may be dissociating already, but this will ensure that her principles or ingrained morality won’t get in the way of accepting the new directives which we’re gonna transplant.”

Madhavan was far too into this for Nina's liking. Very uncomfortable, to say the least. At least she was announcing what was going on. That made it easier to cope. She was powerless to do much, and it wouldn't matter, shortly, but--she felt the urge to cough when sprayed, but again, no response. Why the fuck?

She stared at the man they apparently hoped she would remember. Nothing seemed special about him.

Dissociating sure was a word for it. She felt the needle go in, but nothing else mattered. Transplant.

...she didn't know why that word stood out. The name that she thought of for that man had dropped from her mind.

Liu shifted, standing at the doorway, watching Madhavan work on Nina. A couple of hours left, he though, checking the time. “Are we on track, Madhavan?”

“Impatient!” Madhavan called back at him. “I’m already forgoing a number of recommended tests to meet your deadline. We’re making up for it by giving her a marginally higher dose of everything.” She grumbled into the envelopes of cognitohazards she was shuffling. “No immunity levels testing, no personality matrix, no history. We run the risk of wiping certain parts of her entirely.” She glanced at Hazmi. “Then again, she’s not really a long-term asset.”

“She isn’t.” Liu replied. “We just need her stable for the stated time period. You’ve read the file already, Madhavan.”

“I have, and that’s why I’ve calibrated my approach to breaking her down.” Madhavan passed the first series of cognitohazards to Tanushree. “Thirty seconds of exposure each, and for the love of God, don’t peek.”

“She jerked,” Tanushree called back, flipping the second card to make way for the third.

“Fracture,” said Madhavan, pleased. “Her brain is firing at random, now. Keep it up.”

None of that sounded very good, at all. Especially losing herself. It seemed weird to bring up, until...asset.

Not a long-term asset. By the sound of that, they meant to kill her when she outlived her usefulness. She wanted to tell them to just kill her, now. She didn't want to be their "asset". She wanted to say she couldn't be made to, but she couldn't lie to herself.

There were two emotions: she felt almost relieved when her body moved, even if it was involuntary, and a bad sign. And she felt...ow. No, not ow. Not pain. Too much? Of what. Underwhelmed? No. Pinning anything meaningful down was so damn hard. And each second that ticked, she could feel her mind shifting. Shifting to something she couldn't say.

“And... hold.” Madhavan, watching Nina’s eyes begin to roll back in her head, held a hand up to Tanushree. Leaning over Nina’s ear, she said, ”Is anyone in there?”

She felt almost numb. The discomfort was still there when the woman orchestrating this, whatever it was, leaned too close, but it was muted. Almost more like simply knowing that it was happening as opposed to experiencing it.

Part of her wondered if pretending to be gone would get her out. The thought didn't stick well enough to matter. She, instead, responded almost automatically, without thinking, by looking toward Madhavan's voice. Her eyes moved slower than normal.

“Great,” Madhavan said, satisfied. “Liu, I think you should do the honours.” She waved a piece of paper at him.

Taking the paper from Madhavan, Liu approached Nina with some trepidation. As he entered into her field of vision, he couldn’t help noting her dilated pupils and how they tracked his movements almost imperceptibly too-slowly. He cleared his throat and began to read. “I don’t look like a ghost, do I? ... I don’t look like a ghost, do I? ... I don’t look like a ghost…”

Madhavan stood close to Nina’s ear, just outside of Nina’s field of vision, watching her pupils dilate and contract with the repetition of each sentence.

Honours. Honour was a good thing. This wasn't good. Longer thoughts weren't the easiest thing to form.

Was he nervous? Maybe he was a turn coat. Hopefully. But she couldn't focus too much on that, because he started speaking.

On a surface level, the question made little sense. Of course he didn't look like a ghost. Something told her it was important, but that sounded wrong, as well.

On deeper levels, levels that she wasn't aware of, the words were being etched in her memory. The lines got deeper with each repetition.

“... don’t look like a ghost, do I? I don’t look like a ghost, do-“ Madhavan held up a hand to silence Liu. Nina was now breathing slowly, evenly, staring straight ahead. “Take off the straps, Tanushree.”

As Tanushree undid the restraints carefully, Liu looked askance at Madhavan. She shrugged. “Gotta do a dry run before you go. We’ll leave about forty five minutes left for you to send her back.”

He looked at Nina, sitting quietly and blankly in the chair. Had it worked? “Miss Newport. Can you tell us something which you think about O5-10?”

She felt very foggy, but these were safe people, she was supposed to tell them things, answer them. Yes. And they were freeing her. Thank god.

Don't speak unless spoken to.

Well, that was a direct question, "They're concerning," she responded, "Very much an if you want it done right, do it yourself type." That one was pretty well known. No real issue saying it, even with the unnamed doubt and fear coloring the edges of her mind.

“Okay,” Liu pondered it. “Can you give this folder,”- he picked up the folder containing the report they’d forged, a brief dossier on their so-called mission, containing several compound cognitohazardous symbols in the body of the text- “- to O5-10, please? It’s from O5-6.”

She nodded, "Yes, of course. Should I tell them anything else?" Her hand was outstretched as she asked.

“No need to trouble them,” Liu said, passing her the folder. Turning to Madhavan, he asked, “Does that seem about right for this level of washing?”

Madhavan shrugged again. “It’s not as complicated as what we normally invest into a long term asset,” she said, indicating Hazmi, “but it will hold. Think of it as implanting a seed, or a bubble in her consciousness, which when uncovered, renders her unable to locate her moral compass, and also very suggestible. Sadly, we won’t be able to have her perform complex tasks while in this mode, again, unlike Hazmi. We’ll have to give her fairly simple orders while she’s under, and rely on her subconscious to motivate her to carry it through.”

She nodded, taking the folder, and holding it to her chest. There were a lot of words being said, and she listened to them all, but she didn't have much reaction to them. She should have, by all rights, but she didn't. She had things to worry about.

Madhavan picked up another canister of the 9th gen, and approached Nina. “Inhale, please,” she said, and sprayed her quickly in the face. “We’ve planted the seed, and now we bury it. Don’t worry, the patterns to unlock this with still exist in her pathways - they just don’t exist consciously, as we engraved them with the cognitohazard sequence.”

Liu nodded, not quite understanding. “You also mentioned before that we’d have to implant false memories?”

“Oh yes. We’re nearly out of time, so do it in the car.” Madhavan nudged Nina to the stairs. “She’s still in the fugue state, so converse with Hazmi about the fake mission and stuff, her brain will use that stuff and fabricate something plausible for the last few hours.”

The amnestics were sprayed, and Nina obeyed Madhavan, unquestioning. It tickled her throat and she coughed a little, while the two she was listening to talked. Whatever they were saying wasn't sticking.

And then she was being led back to the car. Back to her job, presumably. She had the folder to deliver, after all.

Liu drove them back, Hazmi doing most of the talking, conveying the cover story to him. Nina sat in the back seat, holding the folder to her chest.

At the Site gantry, Liu tapped his entry card (food delivery for the front that sat atop the Site) and it let them in. Back to the car park where they’d bundled Nina in just a few hours ago.

He opened the door for Nina. “Will you go back to your quarters for a rest?”

Conversations. This one, she did tune in to, and most of it did stick. She didn't notice memories seemingly coming into being in the void left by amnestics. As far as she was concerned, these memories had been there since the alleged time they formed.

"Oh, yes, I will be, but I have to drop this off, first, thank you for asking, mister...anonymous, I guess?”

“That I am,” Liu said, rather quietly. He shook her hand. “I wish you well, Ms Newport. And thanks. For all your help.”

She made an awkward laugh, "Thank you. And it's not an issue, it's my job. Maybe I'll see you again, under less dire conditions.”

“Probably. Your willingness to go the extra mile for us today was invaluable to our work, and to our team’s well-being.” Liu climbed back into the driver’s seat. “I hope you get some rest, you deserve it.”

She simply nodded, "Think nothing of it," and turned to go back up to the O5 wing.

[remushrts]

Obliviate - emmary

— pairing(s): emmeline vance x mary macdonald, ex!marlene mckinnon x mary macdonald, ex!lily evans x mary macdonald (it's a lot yes)

— a/n: this is SO angst and i'm so in love with the hc that mary obliviates herself. hope you enjoy because this literally teared my heart open and i might be starting to realize i'm a mary's kinnie

— summary: mary's last night is the night emmeline dies

To Mary, it's the middle of the night. To Mary, it's October fitfh year and the summer before that, to Mary, it's the day she receives the news that Lily is dead. It's Lily being dead all over again. It's Marlene telling her that she thinks she can't love Mary the way she wants to be loved, it's her kissing all the tears that fall from Mary's eyes like she's trying to kiss it better. It's Lily's last hug before they went into hiding, it's the phone call she never got to give them. It's her voice that was never heard a last time, it's baby Harry's hair that she never got to mess with. It's her dad's cloudy eyes before he passed, her mother's trembling hands as she held Mary's, it's Dorcas' promise that they would throw a birthday party to Pandora that year. It's all being taken away from her at once, brutally and without warning. Again. It's all again.

The night Emmeline dies Mary feels the grief awakes in her body so strong it shakes the entire neighborhood awake. She feels the death of every person dear to her over again, like her mind awoke with grief all of her dead, just to kill them a little more. The years that eased into Mary's mind did little to her memory. So, she knows what's coming. She did for a long time now. She knows what she has to do.

Her hand doesn't even tremble as she reaches for her wand. She wonders what it would feel like, she did even when Emmeline was here with her. Mary was a fighter, all of her life. She didn't back down all these years, she didn't run, even if every single nerve on her body was telling her to. Mary lost everything. She was about to lose everything forever. But she made up her mind.

If Emmeline was there, Mary knows what she'd say. Mary asked her not a week before. "Would you do it?" Emme's voice shook, tears on the brink of falling as she nodded. "Yes... I just wish you wouldn't ask me to. I'd... Miss you a lot, you know?"

Mary tells herself that it doesn't matter, because Emmeline was as dead as they come and she was not coming back from the dead just to do it for her. Maybe she should've asked it sooner, maybe she should've never asked it at all. Mary never doubted of Emmeline's love, but love could only go to a certain length, and their were no different.

Mary's hand stops at her temple, her wand just about to touch her head. She imagines it as a gun. Her last breath as Mary MacDonald is a shallow and short one, one that doesn't do her justice. Then, simple as that, Mary says it. Obliviate. Simple as that, there is no more Mary.

The first breath the stranger sat on a bed she doesn't recognise is a deep one. She doesn't recognise anything, and she doesn't recall picking up a stick or a photograph, but there they are, just in her trembling hands. She doesn't remember coming in, or sitting down, or how did she got here in the first place. She let her hands rest on the mattress below her as she toss the stick to the ground. Another deep breath. She gets up, folds the photo of several people she doesn't know and puts it on the nightstand.

Mary MacDonald leaves the house without any idea that it once was hers.

[nnothingnesss]

The Dark (Short Story)

Mani and Glam survive in a dystopian world where nobody know’s what happens in the dark.

I watched her paint. It made me feel wide awake in the middle of a long dream. It was nice. It's the first time I'd ever seen someone make real art before. I had read of painting from books about Salvador Dali but I'd never imagined I'd see it in person. I feel like a witness to some ancient skill from a dead civilization I'll have to testify against. She continues streaking the canvas with black acrylics banishing white from the piece forever. My imagination trails to a bustling museum full of people who came peacefully to revere someone like her.

Had anyone else seen her, she probably would've been taken to the local scavengers and never seen again. Watching her unleash a mad passion on that canvas makes me think she really doesn't care, that she'd leave a hole in between any pair of eyes that tried. And after she'd go right back to painting.

"You mean to tell me you can just shoot a handgun all day and come back here and make such delicate artwork? Like it's nothing?" I asked her

"Pretty much," she tells me.

"Here I was thinking I was crazy. I can't stop shaking,"

"You need to get used to it,"

"Not something I want to get used to."

I look back down at my hands and I've finally managed to calm down a little. Flashes of what happened earlier, the dark man, the forest, the sunsetting sky.

"Are you sure we're safe?" I begin to worry again.

"I promise. We've been here for almost six hours and nothing has happened right?"

"So you mean we can just stay here forever and we'll be fine?"

"Yeah, if you want to leave our stuff at the school and never see the others again, sure"

Worry. I'm a huge worrier. I worry constantly. I really can't stop it.

"I don't want to leave," I say. She stops to set down her brush. Her painting is more than halfway finished. Four more hours until sunrise.

"We talked about this, we'll leave once the sun starts coming up so we can see that thing if it tries to follow us, then we'll run back into the high school and grab the rest of our stuff and we'll head right back to the city."

"I know, god please, I'm just scared"

"If you ever freeze up like you did in that forest again and I'm not there, you'll die."

"I know,"

"If you do that in the school then I'll have to be the one to put you down. And I swear to god, Mani, if I have to be the one to put you down I will fucking kill you. This isn't your first rodeo, so don't go acting like a rookie."

"You're right. Sorry."

"It's okay. I know, that thing, it almost got to you. You don't have to talk about it with me just so you know."

"No it's fine, it's just..." a shiver travels down my spine “I don’t want to think about what that thing would do to us.”

Glam doesn't say anything, instead she picks her brush up and dips it in paint.

"I can't shake it.”

3 Hours Later

I can see the first orange ray peaking through the blinds. It lights up the dark and cold room, overcast with shadows and covered furniture. I can begin making out the features of Glam’s face as she sleeps on the hard floor. She found me after I ran away from..well..we can talk about that later.

I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with running. Our jobs were pretty much that at any given moment. Any one you met was running from something. Whether it be from the Dark or their past, it wasn’t hard to tell. We all have seen it, with our own eyes. I’m just happy all the innocent people who died in the first few nights never had to.

“Hey, Glam, the sun is up,”

Glam darts awake, startled and then relaxes. Reflex.

“God, I’m tired of these awful nightmares,”

“I know. Come on, let’s go,”

“Just give me a minute will you?”

We stand up from the corner of the room. We managed to run into this estate last minute, right before the sun began going down. I look down the room to find a way carefully through tarp covered furniture. Whoever lived here must’ve been incredibly rich. They must’ve also thought they’d be coming back. God were they wrong.

“I swear the God’s hate us,” I sigh.

I place a couple of rationed food on the table while Glam took her few minutes. A couple cans of peaches, homemade beef jerky, and water. That’s it. I open the yellow can of peaches with a small combat knife. I got it off a dead soldier on the way into the forest. This was my first time ever using it.

After I pour the peaches into a partially cleaned bowl, I begin to pick out debris and any occasional insect that might’ve found it’s way into the can. One of them had a bullet hole on the side of it. The kitchen was filled with them.

I’m not sure why life turned out like this. Why the Dark had to become violent. All I know is now, any humans left out there will kill you quicker than any Dark could if they know you’ve been outside all night. Glam would do it. And so would I.

“Mani,”

Last night, I was this fucking close. I was so close to getting caught by the Dark. The sky was mostly purple and I never ever look behind me when I’m running. But nobody know’s what the fuck happens in the dark.

“Mani,”

I looked behind me, to the opposite side of the sun, the darkness in all of the trees, there was no light. The thing had fucking horns for god’s sake, and it was moving towards me so fast I could see it shaking the trees. I could feel it was hungry. If any of them get close to you I am so sorry you have to die that painful and miserable death.

“Alright, Mani your just sitting there with your damn hand in the peach bowl, wake up”

Glam pulls my hand out of the bowl.

“Oh you’re up, feeling better?” she asks me.

“I’m feeling ready. Let’s just get this shit over with.”

“Yeah. I’m with you there,”

The school wasn’t far just a 20 minute walk. In broad daylight we were completely safe from those hideous creatures. Unfortunately it makes other survivors the little tree mongers.

I’ve ran into people who kidnap women and do the most terrible things. Their smiles leave the most insidious feeling behind in their words and conversation.

And more often then not, these interactions were unavoidable. If it weren’t for squatters and cargo movers keeping our sensitive karma in check, I wouldn’t be making money and they wouldn’t be jumping like kids.

We don’t need to get too explicit. Sometimes discernment is key. Intuit into everyone around us and if you smell smoke? Run. In these terrible times it was all about survival. Not who’s got cooler stories in the dark.

“You got everything?” Glam asks.

“Yeah, come on.” I throw my bag over my back and walk behind Glam through the front door.

[fangirls-fanfiction]

Heya, I know I said I wasn’t planning on posting anything while I was on vacation. But I had already had this chapter half written and between last night and having time with this little bit of rain around where I am I got it done. It’s a little short, but… eh.

———

Chapter 7

♦️𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚊 𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗♠️

———

"So uhm... Lemme get this straight..." Henchwoman shook her head. "You two asked the Boss and Miss Queen Dice whether they like each other, and now they're angry with you?"

The girls nodded silently.

"It wasn't obvious to you?"

"What wasn't obvious?"

"That they've got a thing for each other? Any demon could see it! They're just either too prideful or scared to admit it." Henchwoman stopped, dread setting into her expression. "Don't tell them I said that."

"That's exactly what we want to do! We want them to get together!" Mugma'am bounced on the bed excitedly.

"Then they'll hopefully forgive us for what we did yesterday!" Cuphead added, Mugma'am glaring at her for a moment. "Uhm- Can you help us, Henchwoman?"

"Me? How can I help?"

"Don't worry 'bout it too much; we got an idea." Cuphead pointed to herself and pulled Mugma'am closer to her. "Just listen closely;"

😴 😴 😴

The Devil found herself awake in the middle of the night. Glancing at her alarm clock, it read 1:35 am. Sure, she was an early bird, but this was ridiculous. She rolled over, closing her eyes in attempt to get back to sleep, only to find that she just couldn't. Sitting up, she yawned, accepting that her brain wouldn't let her go back to sleep. Maybe grabbing a snack would help get her to sleep faster.

Walking out to her throne room, she yawned once again, slumping to the kitchen. Mid-step, she stopped, hearing something rather peculiar. Though it was completely silent, the demon could've sworn she heard the sound of crying. Quiet, yet very close by.

Listening for it again, the Devil's ear twitched when she heard it once more. Whoever it was, was in the room with her. Confident that it was near her throne, she growled quietly. The crying stopped, but there was no sign of movement whatsoever. The Devil approached her throne, ready to scold her whoever had dared to even go near her throne without her permission.

On the side closest to the elevator, the Devil knew exactly who it was. Of course- Cuphead. She should've know.

She went to pick her up by the collar of her shirt- Much like a cat- And tell her who the Boss was around here.

That is, until it hit her that the girl had been crying. Blinking, the Devil retracted her hand, watching as the girl shuddered while she sobbed. Now and then, she'd sniff or hiccup between tears.

It was hard to say the Devil felt bad for her. The least this little brat deserved was to cry. After everything the girl had done to the demon, it was definitely warranted. In her opinion anyway.

Though seeing the girl crying, not because of the Devil was just... Sad. Not even the funny kind of sad. This wasn't natural. This wasn't right. The Devil had watched sinners fall to their knees, crying, begging for forgiveness. She'd grown all too accustomed to being the causation of someone crying. Not walking in on it happening.

Watching Cuphead upset didn't feel how the Devil imagined it. She always though she'd be laughing at her worst enemy sobbing her eyes out. Now? She felt... Bad. She wasn't sure why or how, but she hated it. Taking a shaking breath, the Devil closed her eyes. And couldn't believe what she was about to do.

"Hey, Cuphead..." She spoke quietly, the girl flinching and stopped crying for a moment. "Are you ok?"

Cuphead finally turned around, quickly wiping her tears away.

"Oh, me? I'm- I'm fine." Cuphead forced a smile. "I'm sorry if I woke you, I'll- I'll go now."

"No." The Devil knelt down to be level with her. "If there's two things I know; it's when people say they're fine, they're not fine; and a dead giveaway that someone isn't 'fine' is that they're crying."

"Man, you're good." Cuphead said, the Devil raising an eyebrow. She was convinced she was just stating the obvious.

"What's wrong then? Not everyone starts crying for no reason in Hell, y'know. They've got to get through at least one round of torture before they break." The Devil snickered, the girl not joining in with her laughter.

In fact, Cuphead just lowered her head, her gaze looking to the ground as she sniffed once more.

"Erm... Sorry..." The Devil scratched the back of her neck. "Do you... Do you wanna talk about it?"

Cuphead shrugged, her gaze still glued to the floor. The Devil sighed, figuring it was no use trying to get the truth out of her. Starting to stand back up, Cuphead suddenly looked back at her.

"Hey, uhm... Devil?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something...?"

"I... I Suppose..." The Devil sat back down.

"Have you... Have you ever lost someone...?"

The Devil took a moment to answer, her eyes darting around, trying to find something to focus on. A lump grew in her throat, her eyes threatening to burst open with tears. Her pride getting in the way of breaking down crying, she took a shaking breath, finally willing to look at the girl again.

"Yes."

"And... How'd you feel? After you lost them, I mean."

"Well..." The Devil said, blinking her tears in her eyes away. "I felt... Angry, confused... Scared... But I mostly felt really sad..." The Devil answered truthfully. "It was like losing a part of me..."

Cuphead nodded, her eyes welling up with more tears as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"Is this about that Kettle lady?" The Devil asked gently.

Cuphead remained still for a moment, only a moment. Before nodding her head slowly.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks... I guess..." Cuphead sighed. "I just- I- I just wish I could see her one last time." The waterworks started again. "That- That way, I- I- I- I could tell her how sorry I am... And- And- And take back all of the horrible things I did... All of those things I said..."

Cuphead began trembling once again, burying her face in her hands as she sobbed.

"I'm- I- I- I- I'm sorry! I'm sorry Elder Kettle!" The girl sobbed loudly.

Unsure of what to do in this moment, the Devil sat there, desperately hoping her answer would drop out of the sky. She'd never been good at showing compassion, let alone sympathy. It was enough to make her want to cry too. Though she was too prideful to let that happen again. But she also knew she couldn't just watch. She may not know much about ethics, but she knew what it was like to be left alone to cry. It wasn't an easy thing to do.

Trying to show at least some compassion, the Devil extended her hand, placing a reassuring hand on the girl's shoulder.

Cuphead looked up quickly, almost surprised by the Devil making contact. Offering a smile, the demon went to say something before Cuphead unexpectedly dove in for a hug.

The Devil should've been angry, infuriated even. Touching her without proper permission was strictly prohibited in the underworld. Of course, a foolish mortal like Cuphead wouldn't know that. But that didn't take away from the fact that it was confusing for the Devil; of all people for the girl to hug, why the Devil?

The Devil thought about yelling at her for this and demanding an apology and explanation. Until she felt the girl trembling even more, crying over the Devil's shoulder. It was enough for her to pity the girl.

So rather than getting angry, the Devil decided to try her luck with soothing the poor girl. She was upset enough, the Devil didn't need to add on to it.

Hugging the girl back, the Devil patted her back, immediately calming the girl down. Adding in gentle hushes and whatnot, she did everything she could to stop the crying. Even if it wasn't completely gone, she had to do something.  Surely the girl had quite a head ache from the crying. And sure, the Devil could even say she was doing this to appease her own morals- Which she didn't even know she had.

After a bit, the crying died down to even breathing, the Devil convinced that she had finally gotten the girl to calm down. Relieved, the demon nudged the girl gently. Though Cuphead didn't react whatsoever.

"Alright Cuphead, let's get you back to bed."

Still no answer.

Though there was a small sound of snoring coming from the girl.

"Great," The Devil grumbled to herself. "Just what I needed, now what am I supposed to do?"

The only thing she could do;

The Devil gently lifted the girl, making sure she had no chance at dropping her. Though with help of her super-human-like-strength, the Devil had no problem carrying her.

Though she was still careful as to not wake the little brat while going down the hall.

Getting to the door, the Devil quietly opened the door, as to not disturb the other sister and gave to deal with two winey brats. Though it was successful, as she made it to the bed, gently setting the girl down and covering her up. Quietly heading to the door, she cursed at the hinges squeaking as she began to close it. Growling as the door creaked again, she froze in place when she heard Cuphead's tired voice.

"Goodnight Elder Kettle."

Whimpering, the Devil quickly- And quietly- Closed the door. After it latched, she leaned against the door, rethinking everything that had happened a moment before.

Though confused, the Devil was mostly angry at herself for allowing that whole charade to happen. Who did Cuphead think she was? Hugging the Devil? Sharing her icky mortal feelings with her? Getting the Devil to sympathize with her?

The Devil never thought anyone else would bring out the compassion the Devil had somewhere where there is supposed to be a heart. But it happened. Again.

And it was her sworn enemy.

[moonieshinesims]

Generation 2 - Chapter 4

The third week is finally here! Michiko can hardly wait until the weekend when she can finally go live with her mom and dad! But what are she and Ako going to get up to in the meantime?

Week 3 without mom & dad

The week began on a not-so-great note.

Michiko had a bad dream about losing a few of her teeth that shot her awake in the middle of the night.

She shoved her hand in her mouth and wiggled around all her teeth only to find out that none of them were loose, or missing.

That was a good thing, but what could a dream like that mean?

Meanwhile, for Ako, his newly acquired bloodbag and romantic interest was going to be taking a break from him for about a week. It was finals week and he had to spend his time in tutoring to make sure he didn't fail out of his last year of high school.

As much as it was weird for Ako to admit, he'd grown accustomed to being around Dustin every afternoon.

Sure! They'd only been together about a week, but that was enough time to develop feelings for someone, right?

Michiko tried keeping up her spirits, despite the weird ominous beginning to her week.

"Sure, why not? I don't know your dad, but I do know he'd visit that makeshift tombstone your mom built for me out back and cry sometimes... He must be kind of emotional, huh?"

"He's just empathetic like that!" Michiko liked that about her dad.

During the week, since Ako didn't have Dustin to feed from, he had to go hunting for his food.

He wasn't too happy about it, seeing as how he'd had easy access to blood for a while, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right?

Thankfully someone was stumbling past the house not too long after Ako began his hunt. He approached the probably-drunk woman and easily coerced her into letting him drink.

A couple hours later, however, Ako began to feel strange.

He wasn't sure he'd ever felt something like this before. It was almost like an out of body experience with something else piloting his body.

This new pilot took him around the yard and around town. He fought tooth and nail to try and take back control of his body, but he wasn't able to!

What on Simlandia was this thing?!

When the new pilot finally took him inside the house, it plopped him in front of the TV where the news blasted commentary on the weird spores floating around town.

Michiko had been up, creeping around the kitchen while Ako was out, and ended up in the bathroom. On her way out, she asked Ako a question, but instead of answering her, his head swiveled sideways in the most unnatural of ways. His eyes were bugged, and his mouth hung open.

Whatever was wrong with him, Michiko did not like it! Instead of going back to sleep in her parent's bed downstairs, she ran upstairs to her own room and locked the door.

That wasn't normal behavior! Michiko thought to herself, He may be a vampire, but that was... something else.

She'd have to worry about that later...

The next day at school, which was Friday, Michiko busied herself with classwork, wishing the day away so that it would finally be the weekend.

The weekend! The one where she'd get to see mom and dad again!

But in the middle of her science class, the ground began to shake and quiver, and an angry sounding alarm blasted across the entirety of Strangerville.

She could hear Principal Burleson yelling outside of her classroom, so she decided to go see what was going on.

Charlee, Michiko's actual cousin, forced the other kids out of the classroom.

In a panic, the kids made their way to the front of the school where their parents and guardians were beginning to convene in their cars.

The ground was still shaking, and a big blast of purple light was brightening up the sky.

Michiko didn't want to say it out loud, and barely wanted to think it lest it became true, but she had a bad feeling that this had something to do with her parents...

[dreampedia]

"I don't agree," said Mio, with a light shake of the head. "It's not about what's easiest to deal with, at least not to me. Sometimes ignoring someone who needs help and refuses to accept it is the hardest part but, because it's the right thing to do, you do it anyway." Leaving behind her life as a professional dancer in Tokyo had been far from the easiest thing she'd ever done. For a while, she would find herself awake in the middle of the night, wondering if she'd made the right choice in coming to this small city tucked away admidst the mountains instead of staying on the stage, but she would never regret coming to find her sister. Even if Rei had already disappeared once again, Mio knew she'd done the right thing and that was enough. "I think a lot of people actually avoid helping each other because it's harder, especially if it's someone they don't know." She would never say it out loud, for fear of tempting fate or jinxing herself, but Mio wanted to believe she'd take the difficult path every time.

It was the second time this conversation that he'd gotten upset about her asking a question and she was forced to consider that he might already prepared to take things in the worst possible way. Although it was true that everyone had their different outlooks on life and their own reasons as to why they behaved the way they did, Mio couldn't help but feel a little hurt. "Even if it was just something I'd heard from someone, would that be so bad?" asked Mio, cocking her head to one side. "Is it really that awful to be wrong about something?" She was an inquisitive person at heart and she liked asking questions. That, she'd always found, was the best way to learn about people and help them feel like they were being heard. He'd started speaking to her at length about a topic she barely understood; what else could she do but ask questions to help her make sense of it all? "I mean, I don't know shit about jazz! And that's okay! There's lots of stuff I don't know, and there's gotta lots of stuff you don't know. But I think asking questions helps us grow as people, right?"

Mio found herself struggling to stifle a giggle. "I don't know, I feel like it probably depends on what you're doing, huh?" she said, amused by the images she was conjuring in her own mind's eye. "It'd look pretty bad if some guy in an orchestra just started doing whatever because he wanted to let go. Or a ballerina." And, then, she thought of Rei again. How graceful they'd always been on stage, the spotlight casting its moon-like glow on their skin as the glided across the floor. She used to watch them in total awe but looking back on it all now, Mio wondered how restraining it must have felt for them. (Weird to think that the very same things that liberated one person could act as a cage to another.) "I think I get what you're saying but maybe everyone feels that way about their passions, you know? There's probably some math-crazy guy out there doing sums on a black board and thinking, 'Whoah, I'm so totally one with these numbers.'"

Benny nodded, though he was definitely the type to say no to people wanting to help him, and he couldn’t imagine anyone offering him help. He had a hard time trying to imagine standing in someone else’s shoes anyway, he didn’t have the type of feelings Mio described, the worry about hurting someone else’s feelings. If his help was rejected, it just was. He wasn’t one to quickly offer it anyway. Maybe only people who were really really close to him, and he had few of those now. “Yeah, I think that’s the best way to go about it, I think it’s easier to deal with people who are annoyed than watch them getting hurt anyway,” he said. 

Her reaction - or mostly the fact that she’d seen his - took him slightly by surprise, but before he could quickly come to his own defences and move against it, he shrugged. His heart did an uncomfortable leap that he wished to treasure and then nurture and throw out at some point, but his mind told him that he was being a better man now, and everything he’d taught himself needed to be untaught. Or at least some of it. “Sorry, Jazz is just… well, I guess very important to me,” he admitted, his face not showing the inner turmoil now, because some emotions he hid better than others. “Wasn’t sure if you were asking or like… just saying stuff you’d heard. Isn’t an uncommon thing either, lots of people say that about Rock & Roll, don’t know shit about Jazz.” So he was going the explaining route, but it sounded more like a beaten down puppy than his usual bravado. 

He grinned at her explanation and the conclusion. “Yeah, it’s different in that sense. Everyone can dance… maybe not well, but everyone can dance, like everyone can draw. It takes a bit more to know how to play an instrument. Though both you can learn, how to dance well, how to play an instrument. But the feeling’s probably the same, letting go, not worrying about good or bad just letting the pace and the music take you.” 

[twistyprefect]

Howdy do~! I’ve got a fluff/angst headcanon in mind: The dorm leaders’ (including Jamil’s) fem! s/o suddenly wakes up screaming in the middle of the night because of a traumatic nightmare of them Overblotting. As she wakes up, she tearfully tells them she’s scared of losing them a second time. How do they comfort her? Please and thanks!

{so i didn't end up doing Idia and Malleus as i'm not at all familiar with their overblotting, i hope that's ok!! 🥺 but i included everyone else in the overblot gang + kalim!}

Spoilers for Books 1-3, minor spoilers for books 4 and 5!

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is surprised when he hears his partner screaming in the middle of the night

he's immediately up and holding her, trying to calm her down by rubbing her back

she cries in his arms and once she's calm enough to speak, she explains what happened

"i don't want to lose you again, Riddle.."

she'd had a nightmare about his overblot, his monstrous form one again being let loose as he tore the rose garden apart for a second time

Riddle almost cries along with her, holding his darling close to him and promising her he'll never let it happen again

he keeps talking to her until she falls back asleep, staying awake just in case the nightmares haunt her again

Leona Kingscholar

Leona panics what he hears her screaming, assuming someone was actively attacking them

once he realizes she's sleeping, he wakes his lover up immediately, shaking her awake

when she stares up at him with fear and tears in her eyes, he immediately takes her into his arms, hiding his face in her neck

he didn't need her to say what she'd dreamed about, he knew immediately

his awful overblotting episode, where he'd almost hurt her and their friends with his selfish actions

he apologizes and doesn't ask her to talk about it unless she thinks it will help her to go through it, but he promises to never put her in danger again

he held her until she fell asleep in his arms, gently running his fingers through her hair until he also falls back asleep, his thoughts swirling with regret

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul is terrified when he hears his lover sobbing next to him, immediately sitting up and turning to her

when she notices he's awake, she immediately jumps into his arms, holding him close to her and sobbing into his chest

through sobs, she explained that her nightmare had taken her back to his overblotting

his terrifying octopus form wrapping its tendrils around her neck and dragging her to a watery grave, her screams silent under the waves

he immediately wraps his arms around her, apologizing over and over as he kisses her forehead

he rocks her gently against him, running his fingers through her hair to calm her down as much as possible

once she's fallen back asleep, he tucks both of them back under the blankets and tries to fall back asleep

Jamil Viper

Jamil jolts awake as he hears his girlfriend scream next to him, immediately propping himself up

when he notices his partner isn't awake yet, he gently shakes her awake

she cries into her palms, explaining that she'd had a nightmare about his overblotted form

"i really just don't want to lose you again, Jamil...you're so important to me."

he inhales sharply and holds her hands in his, squeezing them gently and mumbling his apologies

he tries to remain calm but his voice cracks and tears well up in his eyes as he tries to calm her down

eventually the two of them fell asleep, holding each other closer than before

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim is already up and shaking his lover by the time she screams and blinks awake

he's started trying to wake her up when he noticed her tossing and turning next to him, mumbling in her sleep

he gently hugged her, pulling her into his lap as he asks her what happened in her dreams

"it was the overblot but...it was you this time." she said, her shoulders shaking a bit as he processed what she'd said

he wrapped his arms around her waist and kisses the back of her head, letting her calm down herself

he promises to be as careful as possible with the blot, rubbing her arms gently

he lets her fall back asleep in his arms before adjusting the both of them, making sure she doesn't sleep sitting up

Vil Schoenheit

Vil blots upright in bed as he hears his beloved girlfriend scream and cry, reaching for her blindly

he finds her arm and pulls her into his embrace, slowly running his hand down her back repeatedly

he calms her down until she can finally face him, explaining that she though he'd overblotted again in her nightmare

he inhaled deeply and listened to her describe the dream, feeling his heart weigh heavy as she explains her fears

"i can't lose you again, Vil,. i don't know what i'd do..."

he kisses her tears away up her cheeks, gently rubbing circles into her shoulders

eventually she falls back asleep, but he stays awake to keep an eye on her, just in case the nightmare returns