#she'd probably propose to them as well tbh

[yellowhollyhock]

Please tell us more about Donny and Angel I love these two as a couple they so cute! She’s so perfect for him and vise versa. I like to pretend when the series ended they became official they got married. Mikey is the flower girl because that’s hilarious to me and he’s genderqueer so he’s like yes I get to wear a dress. LH is best man because he’s Donny’s best friend. I am not sure what Raph and Leo are lol. I know there’s brides maid but not sure what you call the version for the groom so Raph and Leo are up there with LH.

Aaahdhhs thank you!! 💜💜🥹 I am always at any time so ready to talk about Donny and Angel.

I love your ideas about their wedding! I think since Splinter would be officiating, Raph can give Donny away (is giving grooms away a thing? if it isn't then, oh well it is now), and Leo can be the ring-bearer. Angel's friends Ashley and Jessica who I made up for the Meeting Gramma fic (it's in pinned post) are bridesmaids.

Okay so below the cut, here's some things I've been thinking about, and how I imagine his proposal!

I don't imagine them fighting often, but one thing that would definitely cause friction is his driving. In the show his bros always let him drive, but have you ever noticed how he's crazy? Usually I think it ends up that way because there's a big chase or it's just comedic, but I like the idea that he's actually quite reckless. Tbh, a lot of people I know irl who are really good at working on cars are really bad at driving safely. They know exactly how far they can push that machine and they like showing it, sometimes forgetting to factor in that there are other people on the road and such things as safety laws.

Anyway Angel lost her mom in a car crash where the other driver was at fault. She was six. Neither her nor Ryan have licenses, partially because driving is scary to them but also because they live in New York City.

I don't think Donny would take it well when Angel calls him out about his driving. This is something he taught himself how to do in order to take better care of his family. He didn't have access to the resources she did to learn (experienced drivers, opportunity to legally obtain a license), and she hasn't shown any interest in using them (he doesn't know about how her mom died at the time), so why should he take criticism from her? He gets defensive when she makes a comment, something she is not used to from him, and they both end up pushing and holding onto little things. Angel says she'd just rather not get in the car with him and if he wants to go places with her they can walk. This seems pretty inconsiderate to Don who cannot simply walk through the city, and he doubts she wants to learn how to slink around and jump across rooftops since she doesn't even want to learn to drive.

Once they've both had time to cool down, he apologizes--he hates that he made her feel unsafe, he'd be happy to walk places with her if that's more comfortable, and he'd like her to know he has asked Raph to backseat for him for a while (call him out if he takes corners too fast, breaks laws etc). With him being vulnerable and apologizing, it's much easier for her to realize and admit why it actually scared her so much, that it wasn't all to do with him, in fact she never feels safe in cars. As they've been getting closer she's been worrying a lot that she would lose him somehow. She apologizes for losing her temper and calling him out in front of everyone (everyone probably consists of April, Casey, and his bros). She tells him how much she appreciates that he's trying to do better and that of course she doesn't mind driving places with him, in fact she feels better knowing that if something does happen, she'd know about it right away.

Also kinda thinking maybe Donny teaches her how to drive, later when she asks. I think she'd still feel safer with him at the wheel, especially once he starts being more careful, but it could still be empowering for her to know.

Their proposal~~

He takes her to Central Park--they wouldn't go somewhere like that very often, but they risk it early one November morning for what he will only vaguely call a 'special occasion.'

Anyway it's not hard to stay disguised because he's freezing and wearing so many layers you can't even tell he's round. (We don't really see the turtles in winter clothes much in the show, but after all the chaos had stopped I think they'd be more comfortable doing little things for themselves such as keeping warm). They buy hot chocolates. She makes a snow angel, which he cannot stop laughing about. She keeps close by to keep him warm, which makes him nervous because the ring is in his pocket and she's going to find it before he's ready--he panics and starts a snowball fight. She's in her element. He's getting more flustered by the minute. He's still a ninja though, and holding his own--until in a moment of distraction she nails him right in the face. She's wheezing, crying, cackling and fussing all at once--and when she comes over to help him up he panics again and takes the opportunity to pull out the ring.

It's a puzzle ring. They've talked about it before, and she's never liked the idea of a fancy gem. She wears lots of jewelry, and an engagement ring of all things should be practical to wear daily, not like her studded nose rings or chain necklaces with all kids of loud charms.

He pulls it out and lets them dangle from each other; four rings, all attached to each other. "It takes some work to fit them together," he explains as he assembles it for her, "But it's impossible to take them apart." Allowing herself to get close to people has been a big deal for her since her dad left. He's still haunted by the possibility of just disappearing one day, apparently without a trace.

He's getting teary and having a hard time getting through the speech he planned so carefully. "I want that for us."

She slips the ring on and pulls him into a hug. "I want that, too." Then, as if she's only just thought of it, "Let's get married." Because she's always loved making him laugh 💜

[sonicprim3d]

}IT'S MARRIAGE TIME{

@synnrrgy asked: 💍 + sonally…. yk i couldn’t resist…..

Where they get married: Honestly, he's fine getting married wherever she'd want to. He loves the world, he loves her, all he could want is to be somewhere beautiful with her.

When they get married: Once again, whenever she'd like. Same reasons as before, he loves her and the world so as long as he gets to enjoy both he can't complain.

What traditions they include: He's not exactly the biggest traditionalist, so if she'd want something, they can totally go for it! But he's down for a chill little get-together to get married and then have a fun party after!

What their wedding cake looks like: This honestly all depends on who cake responsibility falls onto. If it's him, he'd end up forgetting and getting a cake just in the nick of time that's themed properly but not highly specialized. If it's her? I can absolutely bet it'd be a very extravagant and well-themed cake for their wedding, including their favorite colors and even renditions of locations important to each other on it.

….Who smashes cake into whose face: I don't really see either doing it, but then again heat of the moment can spring up on anyone lmao

Who proposed to who first: We've already talked about how it'd probably be Sally. And I stand by that. Because he's stupid and takes forever to realize he's in love with someone lmao

Who walks down the aisle and who waits at the altar: Tbh I see Sonic being the type to want them both to walk down the aisle together. He wants to spend as much time with her as he can in this kind of moment, so he'd love to do it with her.

What their wedding dresses / suits / other look like: I honestly imagine that Sonic would probably wear a jacket (and maybe some pants) similar to this, while Sally would wear a gown not unlike this since it matches her jacket.

What their wedding colour scheme is and what sort of decor they have: All depends on how they even hold the wedding! Pretty sure they'd want a wilderness wedding, so at most they'd probably just have some nice string lights to hang up and some tables, nothing much else.

What flowers are in the bouquet ( if applicable. bonus: what do the flowers mean? ): Simple. Red chrysanthemums. Their meaning? I love you. It's as straight forward as their love is deep down.

What their vows are ( eg poetry, traditional, improvised etc. ): I feel as though Sonic would be very much on the spot improvisation, because he's usually a much more introverted person when it comes to his feelings. So taking the time to speak them out loud for her would be a big deal. As for her? I can see her preparing them before hand. What they would be is something I'm unsure of tho lol

If anyone’s late to the wedding: Knuckles and Team Dark, probably. Knuckles is late because he's stupid. Team Dark because Rouge had to drag Shadow all the way there. And Omega delayed them because he just. Doesn't get weddings.

Who’s in the bridal parties / groomsmen / other: Tails and Knuckles are Sonic's groomsmen, while Bunnie, Amy, and this world's Sally are part of Ali's bridal party.

What their bridal party / groomsmen / other are wearing: Honestly I feel like it'd be left up to them. Tails would have a suit similar to Sonic's, Knuckles would have something traditional to his culture, and Amy would've set up the other ladies with dresses she picked out lmao

Who gives speeches at the reception: Tails absolutely gives a speech, one gushing about Sonic's kindness and how Sally's in safe hands going forward, even if there wasn't any reason to doubt that. But the most important one, and the entire reason she's there, is the speech of this world's Sally to her counterpart all about professing to her how loved she is and that she has a place in this world, despite there already being a Sally Acorn here. Because it's the peace she deserves with Sonic.

Who catches the bouquet( s ): Amy. Absolutely Amy.

What their wedding photos are like: Mostly just the two of them, laughing and enjoying each other's company, the sweetest shit you've ever seen.

What sort of food they have at the reception: I mean. Chili dogs. Come on-

Who cries first during the ceremony: Bernadette and Longclaw. Hands down. Followed by Sally-

How wild their reception gets: Tbh it'd stay pretty tame, since Sonic wouldn't want it to get too wild, just to respect the nature they're no doubt having the reception in to begin with. Plus, the amount of very powerful people there would make "getting wild" a little too dangerous.

What their rings are like: These really nice golden rings with their names engraved on them, made by Tails at Sonic's request, which goes to show you how much he cares because Sonic views all of Tails' works very highly.

What sort of favors they have: I honestly cannot think of anything in specific atm, as Sonic wouldn't really want to do anything like that. So, if it were to happen, it'd fall on Sally to plan out with his help.

Where they go for their honeymoon: Green Hill Zone, no questions asked. It's very important to them after all their travels.

Something memorable that happens during the party / ceremony: Rouge and Knuckles get into a fight. And by fight I mean that she flirts with him so much that he just. Starts yelling. They accidentally "get engaged" because he's not paying attention to what he's yelling during it and everyone cannot stop laughing

Who officiates the ceremony: Vector. Somehow, he's an officially licensed priest in fourteen countries. No one asks why.

What song their first dance is to: Oh that's something left up to Sally, he wants it to be something special to her.

Who gives who away as they walk down the aisle: Since both would be walking down together, this is non-applicable. But, if it were, it'd be Bernadette and Longclaw for Sonic, with Bunnie and Sally for Ali.

[blorbo-hellspace]

this is a toxic ship imo and imma write it that way

PRE RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

Partnered together in a class project. they instantly didn't like each other

What was their first impression of each other?

Vil thought Leona was a "sloppy, flea-ridden beast"

Leona thought Vil was a "stuck up cunt"

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

LOL no, everyone knows this won't end well.

Who felt romantic feelings first?

probably Leona. he gets off on the arguing.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

both of them. why woukd they want each other?

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Vil would laugh in your face. she'd never believe something like that.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Vil. well, more like she told Leona to ask her out (she'd never do something so embarrassing). he laughed and did as requested.

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

yes! they go to fancy restaurant (after Vil makes Leona clean the fuck up and dress up nice). Leona ruins it a little (a lot) with tasteless flirting and lots of complaining.

What was their first kiss like?

Fiery. Hate filled, tbh. they kissed before they got together. leona was being an ass, Vil kissed him then walked away. they mever spoke of it again.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

No.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

2 inches without Vil's heels, 9 inches with them (yes, this is canon)

2 year age difference

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Leona will NEVER meet Vil's father. Vil and Leona's family don't get along.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Vil

Who gets jealous easier?

Equally jealous tbh, and it's monstrous

LOVE

1. Who said “I love you” first?

Leona. he says it as a joke, but Vil starts to cry

2. What are their primary love languages?

Idk? Vil wants to be given things and in turn wants to "fix" Leona, that's her love language

Leona likes gift giving, but in indirect ways

3. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

They don't cuddle. but PDA, in moderation, is a must for the image of their relationship

4. What are their favorite things to do together?

make out. they don't know what else to do together tbh

5. Who’s better at comforting the other?

neither lol

6. Who’s more protective?

Leona. he denies it, but he can't let his pretty gf get hurt

7. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical, both of them

8. What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

Real Men by Mitski, Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey, i love yoh by Billie Eilish

9. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

they only use nicknames in public tbh, and it's always those sugar sweet ones

DOMESTIC LIFE

1. If they get married, who proposes?

Leona. Vil sends heavy hints she wants a proposal, but she'd never do it herself. she'll get pissed if he doesn't propose with the most gorgeous ring he can get.

2. What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

extravagant. leona's whole extended family, rook and epel, ruggie and jack, numerous actors and models and politicians. neige is invited to rub it in his face that he's alone lol. it's a celeb rlwedding through and through

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

none. Vil hates kids, and if Leona did wmat any he doesn't want them with her tbh

4. Do they have any pets?

One (1) white persian cat

5. Who’s the stricter parent?

no kids

6. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Leona. Vil won't touch them.

7. How do they celebrate holidays?

They have extravagant parties (that, yes, Leona must attend. does he want his wife unhappy?)

8. Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Leona. he's depressed in the "i want to sleep 24/7" way and will drag Vil back to bed. it's one of the sweetest parts of their life. Vil sometimes cries during this, and Leona can do nothing but hold her

9. Who’s the better cook?

Vil is, but they have private chefs who cook everything for them

[muzzable]

My thoughts on the Miraculous Movie (in List Format, Written as I Thought Them)

With added comments as I'm making this post in purple, and a short review at the end.

Spoilers for the movie and show under the cut; though most of my comments may not be the most relevant, many are.

"Do you believe in magic" you mean miracles? Cause it's Miraculous?

"stronger than death" they're reviving Emilie aren't they (thankfully not; I guess they mean love is stronger than the grief of death)

Tom looks creepy

I actually think "believe in me" could have been tied to "Believe in Miracles" well

I like her having more general social anxiety compared to just around her crushes like in canon (and then it kinda disappeared)

This girl really does have a pretty singing voice so I'm conflicted but like. Who is this singing. Not the same as talking.

I like getting to see more of Gabriel running a fashion empire (has probably just not watched those episodes of the show) (I think this helped set the tone of Gabriel being controlling down to the last detail, and he didn't even act like he cared about fashion so it helps sell him as the villain or something)

Why is Luka here

I kinda like this chloe more so far tbh

Did they take Marinette's freckles? (pretty sure they did; they're really subtle in the show though)

Why does Emilie sound so impatient if she doesn't mind waiting forever lol

I like that tying into him as hawkmoth though, that she'd wait forever for him so he'd try forever for her

This is a completely different school lol

Saw a brown eyed student that looked more like Adrien than Adrien I think lol

Why'd she start calling her Marinella (seriously, why? she demonstrated she knew her name and they did bring back "baker girl" eventually)

Is she crying? I don't think they animated it (i still don't) Cristina voice acted it though

Adrien sells being socially inept by asking if Marinette's ok then walking away

Marinette holding a black cat book is sweet

I think she and Adrien look better in motion (seeing lots of screenshots I didn't really feel they looked like them, but it was mostly fine when animated)

Ok but he did not say "she's so weird" like he liked it and that's not an Adrien thing to do (and then he seems to love Marinette later for no real reason? Since they can't be together due to his love for ladybug and not "sorry I don't feel the same to you.")

Dang Nathalie get a better guy already he's rude

I thought that was Amelie in the picture cause Gabe had long hair lol

Also why is Adrien at school already? Chloe made a big deal about showing him around so I know he's new but. (in fact they didn't show Gabriel as controlling Adrien at all, just emotionally distant. kinda hurts the point of Ladybug making him feel free or whatever; i guess she makes him feel free from...being depressed that his mom is dead? even thuogh he tells Gabriel to move on at the end, it feels like Adrien's character in this movie is defined by his mom being dead almost as much as Gabriel's is, while in the show he genuinely does move past it.)

Emilie looks the most different (And then the painting is exactly the same lol)

Nooroo temple is kinda cool. Why does he sound like a 36 year old lady

Flying miraculous is .. interesting

"friends don't run from frienfs who hate them" "nice screaming exchange" ok yeah I think this Chloe is funny lol (in hindsight she was funny in the show too i just forgot)

"you are the one" you mean one of the two

Ok so Marinette is chosen for saving Fu's life and Adrien for…having a trash can for Plagg to hide behind? An open window? (Answer: we don't know. We don't really see much of how Adrien gets his miraculous.)

Why is that lady who rejected that guy's proposal the only one in Paris with a French accent (later on there were two other Parisians with accents! wow!)

Also the first akuma is just…some guy? (i just really like how in the show the first akuma was a classmate, and someone they know. we get to see ivan grow, and he rejects perfect alliance in the season 5 finale if i remember right. come to think of it they don't put a lot of emphasis on the fact that akumas stem from emotions here, which pretty much exists to explore characters and stuff.)

I like Plagg seeming to turn into a black cat and Tikki as a ladybug (unless Marinette and Adrien are just attracting those animals which is also cool) (this was also not really expanded upon, but I think the ladybug turned into Tikki)

Also the animation is just so pretty. I love the ladybug miraculous and Tikki here

I like keeping Marinette thinking she can't be ladybug

Ok Tikki is acting like there's no such thing as Chat Noir

Also I like them using the theme melody

Also she already had black earrings

Tikki's lines are definitely funny though

I mean gargoyle is practically flying stoneheart lol (this is related to me talking about Ivan earlier)

I feel ROBBED of seeing Adrien and Plagg meet for the first time Plagg is so important for Adrien as a character (especially with Chat saying in one of the songs that he feels free, and Plagg as his confidant is a really big part of Chat Noir being so liberating to Adrien)

Chat why are you being so mean

Chat expects Ladybug to be his sidekick so at least Plagh told him about the existence of Ladybug which is more than Tikki did lol

I'm finding Chat kinda annoying. I do not think that is good. (Ladybug go to the supermarket and pick up some taste in men)

I'm not sure what's supposed to be going on with the yoyo. It seems alive or at least responsive to Marinette's desires but the staff doesn't do that? (Later he calls it back to him kinda like how Hawkmoth called his cane back in Chat Blanc)

Ladybug sure did go to "no I'm here to save the world" fast after arriving on site and seeing another hero and no villain

Ok don't just say stronger together but like. Tell them why their powers rely on each other (I don't think they did. They were only really stronger together in the sense that two people are more than one)

See I don't like Ladybug actually disliking Chat at first but I would too and I don't think that's good

This guy sounds a bit more like Bryce Pappenbrook than that girl sounds like Cris

Yeah I'm not completely sure why he's in love with Ladybug? I guess cause he smiled when he made jokes at her? I mean I like the idea of her making him smile and that's why he likes her since his life otherwise is so frickin depressing but I don't recall her making him smile.

So he likes Ladybug because he's delusional?

Ok what the frick did they do to Plagg (maybe it's a good thing he wasn't in the movie that much actually) "you'll destroy everything" "duh I'm the kwami of destruction" was the only part of it I liked

Marinette what the heck lol. Just throw Tikki out a window. Unhinged Marinette (good)

Afraid Marinette (sad but also good)

Did Gabriel forget what happened when he akumatized that guy? Interesting if so (I think Nooroo's power just knocked him unconscious. It feels like a way to say using the butterfly miraculous isn't good for him but it's not brought up again.)

Why did Tikki and Plagg disappear if Hawkmoth can have Nooroo while transformed

I don't feel like this animation/choreography fits Gabriel but the song itself works

So is he just akumatizing people who are already supervillains or is this song completely metaphorical

No way. Ladybug the world's first female superhero. (I forget this is a show aimed at preteen girls sometimes lol. That being said it feels odd for a modern day setting to have Alya emphasize that she's a girl superhero because just having a female superhero isn't a new concept.)

I feel like they've got Alya down character wise

Is the mime still Mylene's dad. Why was he in prisonMatPat

Today's back to school fair? But they were just at school yesterday?

Are they trying to set Adrienette together? Because I don't recall Marinette telling Alya she liked Adrien

She seems to have gotten over her social anxiety fast

"leave the fair. I won't drive you myself. I'm sending a car." Gabriel moment

Alya and Nino are going to die

When did Marinette put the earrings back on

This song reminds me a bit of Wall Between Us (rip)

Marinette you don't have time for this musical number PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE

Yeah I think they recycled some of Wall for Courage in Me's melody (unless it was originally a reprise of Courage)

Wait didn't they say they needed to free the akumatized victims or whatever earlier. Is there no consequence for them failing to do so with Gargoyle (no, because all they do is just fight the villain until they're knocked out or in Gabriel's case reject the akuma. So I Guess they technically succeeded with Gargoyle.)

Ok Ladybug smiled even though she acted upset about Chat so I think she likes him lol

Dang Chat catching an invisible bullet

Poor Nino. Flying blind through the sky.

I'm confused about when his ferris wheel has windows and when it doesn't

I liked that Alya/Nino scene

Maybe Magician is Mylene's mom lol

Ok no they were just dressed like a mime and magician already (do people in Paris just wear their same outfits in prison? Were they already supervillains with theming or did they just arrest an actual mime and magician?)

What do you mean you think you know what to do Marinette. Nobody told you.

Ladybug and Chat Noir cars lol

Is her Lucky Charm move not gonna be in this movie (no.) Sorry Paris no miraculous cure for you (until the end, which i did like that it reminded me of the "holder sets the limits" thing from Mr Pigeon 72. If you're going to ignore your main character's main superpower until the very end of the movie, that's the way to do it)

How much time passed in that montage I wonder. They should make a show about it (this was mostly a joke, but I do think the movie suffered from a confusing sense of time.)

I like that we've seen a bit of Adrienette and Ladynoir already. Surprisingly I was worried they'd forget that a big part of the show is the interactions of different love square sides

You can't just have a shot of Chat alone in front of the moon like this you're giving me Chat Blanc trauma

Tikki why are you not encouraging her to be happy lol

Ok that was smooth Chat lol (when he pretended to be dead)

Chat just traumadumping Adrien stuff to Ladybug

We're not seeing Plagg again are we

Ok so Chat's verse makes clear that what he likes about her is that he can share anything with her, which I like. It's always been about the freedom from his civilian life and his dad (I liked Stronger Together as a song that explored what they both got out of their relationship, with Marinette sorta getting the ability to do anything. However, I went in knowing that it replaced Wall Between Us, which was about the emotions that make them love both sides of the other, confuse them, and keep them apart. This fact was a bigger part of the movie I feel like, since they both said they had someone else they loved, so I think it kinda suffered by losing a song that actually explains and explores those emotions.)

Ok good job singing with Chat, Mrs Marinette "hes not my boyfriend" Ladybug

What do you mean you can't date cause your heart is someone else's? You and Adrien are not dating.

Oh did you Plagg? Did you tell him not to love Ladybug? I don't recall that (he probably did and I forgot. I don't know.)

Oh dang Adrien. Good for you. (yelling at Dad I mean)

Ok so every love square side is already in love but they can't be with each other despite not having made any commitments to any other side. I shouldn't bash that I guess they're teens dealing with hard feelings

Gonna say I love the animation again

I wish the show had this budget

Alright then. Paris apocalypse. Honestly I'm here for it. I wanna see where Gabe akumatizing himself to die goes (ok I guess he didnt akumatize himself to die. He said he'd be joining Emilie by doing so but I guess not.)

I feel like the characters have a lot of emotions driving their actions and we're not getting time to explore them in this movie (actually my main issue with the movie)

Ok are they gonna address Chat Noir being mad at Ladybug for rejecting him the same way he did Marinette or. (They really didn't.)

Cataclysm the Eiffel Tower. This is in fact a Miraculous Ladybug movie

I'm guessing there's no senti lore

So the suits can just be cut up, huh?

They still haven't actually said that the two Miraculous grant a wish. There was no explanation for how getting them would get him his wife

Ok I'm glad the ultimate takeaway was still "Let Emilie be dead"

Ok so this is kinda like her Origins speech. Except that Chat is already in love with her. (And Gabe's been defeated or whatever)

Oh my word finally. Miraculous cure.

They kinda skipped out on Marinette's emotions and reaction to seeing Adrien was Chat huh. And also that Gabriel was Hawkmoth

Finally Adrien gets to go to the dance. (He could have gone in Representation if his dad was already in jail or whatever. Food for thought.)

Marinette did you seriously just wait months to be like "oh also I know your identity and I'm Ladybug"

Why did they stop being superheroes? No patrol?

How is her hair in that bun is it longer now

That's sweet. Except they cut off before the kiss.

Oh Emilie has the peacock on already. Maybe there is senti lore in this universe after all

Ok no credits song for me I guess it cut to puss in boots

Alright so to recap: I really did like the movie. The characters were fun, it got some laughs out of me, and I liked how emotional the ending actually was. I just think the story is too big for a movie. When watching it I was sure there were complex emotions in mind when writing the characters and their motivations, and that's great; it just didn't feel like they had enough time to explore those emotions. Frankly, I feel like Miraculous needs to be a show. It needs that time for the characters to grow close to each other, to grow as people, to process the revelations they have to deal with. Even with the movie focusing almost solely on Marinette, Adrien, and Gabriel, none of them felt like their character arcs were completely shown. We're told "Marinette's afraid to be Ladybug," "Adrien's never felt free since his mom's death except for when he's Chat Noir," "Gabriel finds his life empty without Emilie," but I don't feel we see those in-depth. Even Marinette and Adrien/Ladybug and Chat Noir getting closer together felt rushed because it was mostly a montage. It's stuff that fans of the show already know, so they don't exactly need to see in the movie, but I think it hurts the movie as its own independent story. I could see this version of the story working better as a one season show, or even a miniseries. Of course, there is a show, so it's not like I can't go back to that.

So overall, I'd say I like the show more than the movie, and I feel like the show is better as well, due to really having the chance to get to know the characters it's about.

[mzannthropy]

What do you think of the DJATS theory that Billy and Camila only got married bc she was pregnant. I mean, it's not true anyway. In the book, they'd already discussed getting married, and Billy probably proposed. They just got married earlier bc she was pregnant. Bc her family was religious and bc by the time Billy returned from the tour, she'd be too pregnant to have the energy for a wedding. Also, Billy wouldn't have lied to Julia. If he said he rejected Daisy's kiss, he did. I also don't think Camila cheated. Idk, I just have a lot of opinions

Okay, let's be fair here. Camila's pregnancy was the catalyst for their wedding. However that doesn't mean they wouldn't have got married anyway. It was not a "shotgun wedding" type of situation (bc by definition, shotgun wedding is a wedding pushed by the parents of the girl, who were not present). In the book he had already asked her, the show did it differently bc they had Camila follow the band to LA, but that in itself means it was a serious relationship. I mean, she moved across the country with him, that has to count for something. They lived together, she was almost part of the band. If they didn't get married when Camila got pregnant, but continued their relationship and had Julia, would that make that much difference to the proponents of this theory? Would it make them feel better for shipping Billy with Daisy (if that is what's behind the theory)? What is the point of this theory, really? Even if you subscribed to some "soulmate" shit with D/B, this was before they met, so I don't really understand the need to knock Billy and Camila's marriage down to uplift your fave ship. Everyone is so quick to shit on Billy, but he did the right thing. Let's also not forget that Billy was leaving for tour. If anything happened to him on that tour, Camila would be better protected as his wife than if she was just a gf. Marriage has its benefits, believe it or not. Had she not got pregnant, they would have got married some other time. They hadn't done it yet only bc people usually plan for weddings and they weren't exactly in a position to have a nice wedding (Camila would have ideally wanted her parents to be there, her sister, Billy would want his mum).

I have a lot of opinions too, have you seen my blog, lol. That's what we're here for! Tbh lately I've not been thinking much about whether there was anything with Daisy and Billy and whether Camila cheated (although for the latter I'm more inclined towards "no"). I took the book at its word, as I said in a previous post, I had no idea there were theories and speculations about it (as I said, I never considered DJATS to be that kind of book), but even if it was meant to be unclear to the readers, the show's writers had no right to lean one way or another. As far as I'm concerned, it was pure fanservice and I think of it as such. I've already made a point about how it was not possible for Camila to have taken the photo that became the cover art for Aurora in the way the series showed it. Which means the show lied to us. And if they lied about one thing, they may well have lied about other things.

[hellsurvivr]

Payne and Cassian

*      ―    ﴾  𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙿 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴  ﴿ // still accepting ( @mythosisms )

who is more likely to hurt the other?

neither. im sorry but they're both assholes, and powerful ones at that. but they just can't bring themselves to hurt the other. for some reason they don't want to think about.

who is emotionally stronger?

i'd say cassian. because well he carries the sins so it's kinda a thing. payne just shuts hers down and runs from them. so not good.

who is physically stronger?

they're equally as strong as each other tbh. which is why they can handle each other.

who is more likely to break a bone? 

payne. the way this girl chases danger, she's incredibly likely to break a bone. either through her own stupidity. or from those hunting her.

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

they both do tbh. they know how to get under each others skins. and therefore know the right words to make each other hurt. either intentionally or not.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? 

i would say not payne. she's too prideful and will fight it as long as she can. even if it means avoiding cassian for months. so i'd say him before her.

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

cassian treats payne. again either due to her being reckless or being hunted. plus she doesn't heal that quick. it takes a day or two, so her wounds need to be treated whilst her healing kicks in.

who is in constant need of comfort? 

i'd say both. i mean they wont admit it for love nor fucking money. but they both need the comfort the other provides. in a big way.

who gets more jealous? 

cassian. and when he does he gets violent. which is normally why payne will do it on purpose. she doesn't get too jealous as she knows, cassian wouldn't do anything. not when she knows what truly sets him on fire.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

payne. sorry her trauma makes her run. like she just has to get out sometimes and will run and run far.

who will propose? 

a mixture of both. i mean i can see cassian doing it .... whilst dragging her to the wedding chapel. but I can also see payne doing it if he takes too long lmfao

who has the most difficult parents?

i'd go with payne. and we all know why, because her dad is a diiiick.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

both. both are comforted by the little touch.

who comes up for the other all the time? 

cassian. this is mostly because he does it the most. paynes tendency to run from issues means she does find it hard to comfort others, unless she truly trusts them. but cass more, given he KNOWS when payne needs him. coz ya know stalker.

who hogs the blankets? 

payne. well when she actually sleeps she does. like the girl doesn't need em but she'll hog em.

who gets more sad? 

payne. mostly when she starts thinking of her mom. which is often.

who is better at cheering the other up? 

erm cassian. i mean if giving payne multiple orgasms count. but yeah she'd probably just give him a blowjob to comfort him. because well she's unsure how to comfort him. just yet.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

neither. sorry it isn't their style.

who is more streetwise?

cassian. he's older so he's survived longer. not that payne isn't coz ya know shes lived on the streets. but he has the age advantage.

who is more wise?

both. they're both wise in different ways. they have their strengths and weaknesses, which complement each other.

who’s the shyest? 

payne. even if she doesn't seem like it when she gets blunt af. her anxiety will make her drift to the corner of a room and want to just disappear.

who boasts about the other more? 

cassian. i mean come on, he can't help but boast about his girl. payne just boasts about how much she'd love to deck him but can't.

who sits on who’s lap? 

payne sits on cassian. sorry that's her throne and she claims it.

[remi-demi94]

Hey everybody! So an awesome fan of my artwork asked me this cute question about Remy. (Thank you for remembering her and my birthday!! Btw 🤗) It's November 10th if anybody was curious.

They told me that they meant to ask this anonymously but it's all good! Lol so I gotta break it down for each one:

Nadia:

"You're proposing again??!! Nadia but I already said yes!!?!?"

"Ofcourse I'll marry you!"

I feel like Nadia would give Remy tons of jewelry and vibrant clothes because that's the type of things Remy loves to wear.

Lol Remy would get super overwhelmed but love every minute of it.

"Nadia... you know you didn't have to give me all these things. I just want you"

Maybe Nadia will throw Remy a birthday party but invite all of Vesuvia... so it'll be a bigass party 😂

Remy's gonna be a blushy mess her entire birthday because Nadia is gonna spoil her rotten and Remy's not gonna know what to do with all this love and presents.

Julian:

Honestly Remy would probably be planning to propose to him as well, but maybe not on her birthday.

So she'd be a little shocked that he beat he to it.

If he'd been dramatic all day and he's being dramatic about the proposal, you can 100% guarantee that she's gonna be dramatic back 😂

"Oh my dearest love, you've been the light in my life, the sugar in my tea, the rainbow in my sky, the..." "OH OFCOURSE I'D MARRY YOU, YOU SLIPPERY BOY!"

She's probably gonna be teary eyed too, because of all they've been through.

Her relationship with Julian isn't particularly material so she'd find it interesting that he went all out and bought her numerous gifts.

Ofcourse she'd love every single one of them, and she'd probably use/wear/eat them all the time

Muriel:

Muriel doesn't seem like the type to give many gifts, so any gift he gives Remy would be cherished wholeheartedly by her.

He probably crafted them himself too, which would amaze her lol

"Muriel this is beautiful!! I love it!!"

She'll probably find a way to always have it on display on herself or in the shop

Now Muriel asking for marriage...

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

"Wait... what? I.... did you just...ahh Y-yes!! Yes I... yes!! Yes I'll marry you Muriel!!! Of-ofcourse!!"

Y'all Remy has stopped functioning

MURIEL PROPOSED??? TO ME??

Anastasio: (who is @wingcinna 's OC)

I have a hunch that Anastasio is the type to bombard his LI with tons of gifts for their birthday, is that so @wingcinna ?

"Ah... Staci-boo? I can't get into my room"

She's gonna love all of his gifts to her though, HANDSDOWN

If he buys her clothes she'll model them for him, striking sexy poses and everything 😂😈

She'll bring out those new body jewelry pieces she bought a while ago to surprise him

Idk how he would propose but Remy would definitely say yes before he could even get out the full "Will you marry me".

She'd be teary eyed and grinning from ear-to-ear. Probably a blushing mess too.

She'd tackle him with kisses all over the place.

Honestly she wanted to propose herself but she couldn't figure out how she'd go about it. She did already purchase a engagement ring for him though.

I feel like he'd get her a 🔥🔥🔥 engagement ring so she'd probably flash it whenever it was possible 😂

At the end of her birthday, she's claiming him all to herself and makes it clear that no one is to disturb them until... two days from now...

Remy has to "thank him" for such a magnificent birthday 😈😈😈🥰

[hayleysayshay]

Okay what r ur thoughts on Percy and vexs kids i must know

Omg anon thanxxxx I have many thoughts. I don't know why i gave a few sentences for the de rolo siblings but for the kids you're getting a good chunky boi lol.

One thing is that I keep flip flopping whether or not they’re half-elves or quarter elves (as Vex has the blood of a full elf in her, they could be half elves in an interpretation of lore). I tend to just prefer half-elves so I know they’ll outlive Vex tbh though I am not wedded to the idea.

Vesper: She is the oldest child and acts like the oldest child. She loves Whitestone and as soon as she turns into a teenager she wants to rule. She feels a bond with Pelor as she's plane touched, and will often pray for her family's sake when they're going through difficult times, especially when her parents and aunt seem sad, lost, stuck in grief and trauma. She differs with Percy on this a lot, but she gets along well with both her parents, other than matters of Whitestone. She gets along well with Cassandra, who does eventually cut through to Vesper that she can't just give her whole life up to Whitestone at a young age, so I like to think she agrees and Vesper spends time in other cities learning and studying for a year or so, keeping close to Pelor's temples, but just feels homesick for Whitestone so would never leave long-term. Enjoys riding but doesn't enjoy the outdoors much and never liked hunting or anything to do with the grey hunt as a special force, and isn't physically inclined and only knows 'a few' offensive cleric spells. Men and women throw themselves at her feet with marriage proposals, not sure if she'd ever accept any.

Wolfe: Slightly older than Leona and proud of it. He is a smarmy lil boy who think he's the absolute shit, and think he's more charismatic than he actually is. Of all the siblings he wants the glory of being a hero like Vox Machina the most, and becomes a fairly good all-rounded fighter. However, despite being a bit of an apparent fuck-boi, he has a childhood sweetheart he marries early on.

Leona: More level-headed than her brother. She's less of adventurer and has Percy's tinkering spirit. Unlike Percy, she sits and talks his ear off when she's tinkering. She is very chatty and friendly. She loves building things mechanically but doesn't have the aversion to magic her father does. Bit more of a flirt than Wolfe, string of broken hearts behind her. I could see her moving away to help continue with the rebuilding of Emon when she's in her twenties.

Wolfe and Leona: Vex notes how as the pair are twins they're close, but they don't have that intense, dependent bond that she and Vax had, which is probably a good thing becaue these two grew up not needing to depend on each other. Unlike Vesper, both enjoyed the outdoors, exploring, the grey hunt. Both are far more extraverted. When they're adults, they decide to travel, and Leona keeps Wolfe in check. They join an adventuring party and do some good deeds (far more minor) EDIT AS I AM WRITING THIS WHAT IF THEY JOINED THE DARRINGTON BRIGADE??? like they become loyal members throughout their lives, they sometimes just join an adventure as a twin bonding exercise despite living apart.

Vax'ildan: They call him 'Dan.' A mumma's boy when he's young. Good with animals, the grey hunt makes him cry, and he becomes a vegetarian (at least for a period of time). Close with Auntie Keyleth and enjoys Zeprah a lot, I could see him joining the Ashari as a druidy boy. I think when he's young, because he's so close with Vex he just doesn't see much of his father. But as he gets older, he likes taking his textbooks on animals and nature into his father's workshop and quietly reading whilst his father works, enjoying the background noise his father makes whilst he creates. Both get that the other needs space (this quiet time is sometimes ruined by Leona, who eventually realises that she should maybe leave them alone), and Dan is close with both.

Gwendolyn: A little angel girl who just happens to look like a devil. When she's a baby she cries a lot and Percy soothes her better, I think because he had the pact with Ipkesh. Vex and Percy are honest with Gwen and the children (as their other kids could have a tiefling because of Percy) that Percy is the reason they have a tiefling BUT with the rest of Whitestone and visiting parties Vex is like 'yeah?? maybe it was me??? what of it??'. Whitestone accepts Gwendolyn as she is (said before but I think after everything that happened in whitestone, the people of whitestone would be quick to realise that tieflings are not a cause of evil or pain) and Gwen has a very peaceful, loving childhood. Still daddy's little girl growing up, but as she get's older she enjoys the grey hunt with her mother, and I just picture Gwen with a full body camoflage outfit on with only her eyes visible to give her the ability to blend in. She does enjoy combat sports a little, but is mostly 'dainty' and charming and friendly, Whitestone adore her. People start proposing marriage to her as well. Maybe she's a little chaotic and accepts a few, before ending them shortly after, but she would settle down and be adored by a loving partner. I think she could rule Whitestone in Cassandra's place on the council with Vesper--- I think Gwen would be a little naïve/easily swayed on her own, but would be a very dedicated ruler for the people and adored.

[sillysnack]

the madrigal women...pretty (1/3)

all dresses are from @archivedlooks on twitter!

basically i just go “OH YEAH Pepa would wear this yeah” then attach a link and photo! there’s 3 outfits for julieta, pepa

featuring agustín, félix, and bruno! finding dresses from archivedlooks for julieta was kind of difficult but i hope the dresses i chose are okay 🙏

the parents are all around 26~30 in these scenarios :3

the madrigal (grand)daughters

abuela raised two beauty queens!!!!!

julieta madrigal

agustín madrigal if you're reading this, i think your wife is gorgeous (romantic) and she should wear extravagant dresses!

tbh i think she'd wear flowy dresses that were just above the knee but i'm making 26 year-old Julieta Madrigal break out of her shell 😊

one

link

^ i think she wore that on the night agustín proposed to her <3 he probably made it himself.... agustín just gives off the vibes of a tailor. was it the outfit? probably! anyways i just know he got it for her, because he wanted that night to be special.

agustín proposed to julieta on the roof for dramatic effect and fell once the moonlight shined on julieta

"ay, agustín..."

"is that a yes?"

"yes."

two

link

hope you all know i am insane

"Pepa, this is too much, don't you think? I mean, I didn't even wear a dress like this when Agustín proposed."

Julieta shows herself in the dress, avoiding eye contact with her triplets. Her two siblings clap and cheer for her

"Julieta Madrigal, you are gorgeous! That's my sister, everyone!" Pepa smiles and makes Julieta look at herself in the mirror. The eldest Madrigal triplet only gasps.

Bruno chuckles. "Your fiance's going to fall off the roof again." Julieta playfully rolls her eyes, "I'm not bringing him to the roof. Well, not casita's roof. Agustín's taking me out to stargaze with him."

"Ay, I'll make sure the weather's perfect for you two." Julieta smiles. "Don't worry about the weather, Pepa. You don't need to bottle up your feelings." Bruno puts his thumb up. "She's right, you know?"

"I'm going to make it rain because of you two, come here!" The triplets all hug each other, Pepa ruffling their hair.

I Just. i jsut think she'd look good in this No One speak to me.

Agustín gasps. "You look so... wow..." His glasses drop and he steps on it. Julieta reaches out to get it, but Agustín stops her. "It's okay, I brought another pair. Better safe than sorry, right?"

Julieta swiftly pulls him in for a kiss. "Right."

three

link

mirabel, luisa, and isabela all helped make a dress for their mother on her birthday! :D

I like to think that the petals on the back of the dress are from isabela's own flowers! on the day that julieta's daughters gave her the dress, a bouquet featuring the flowers in the dress was also present.

pepa madrigal

she is a fashion icon. pepa is friends with the local tailors, she makes sure her family always has the best outfits!!

one

link

"Amor, that dress suits you so well." Pepa winks at her boyfriend. "I like to dress and impress."

sorry i cant write too much for them 😭😭😭 its hard to add on to an already perfect relationship 🙏

two

link

Are you guys seeing this. I frst saw this and immediately thought of Pepa Madrigal.

lesbian-ing hard tonight!

three

link

Can't explain it just makes sense for her to have both of these. my wife wore this on dolores's gift ceremony and changed to the blue one once it was time for dolores to open her door! :)

— — — — —

okay that's all! this is probably inaccurate to their characters but Who Cares!!!! pretty dresses!!!!

[holocene-sims]

2, 3, 5, 18 for Shannon snd Colm?

thank you for the ask!! <3

2. what was their first date like? if they haven’t been on a date yet, how would it go?

technically their first date was when they met each other on a dating show jfdsjfdjfkls BUT their first official date was going to an art museum and then a coffee shop. it was a lot of talking which is exactly what they needed. colm is super social and talkative, so of course he wanted to chat this gorgeous girl's ear off and try to win her over LMAO, but shannon on the other hand is incredibly shy and she was never going to be comfortable on a date that didn't involve a lot of talking. she'd 100% have a panic attack like sitting in a movie theater in complete silence with a stranger next to her.

3. it’s late at night and your characters want food, what do they order/find in the fridge?

i feel like they would rarely order food or go out and grab something unless they're really in the mood for a special thing or if they're out of groceries. mostly because they don't like spending the money on outside food since to them it's a frivolous expense. they'd rather save the money for more interesting stuff or for financing shannon's grad school loans & colm's pub. so they'll just eat at home sdjfdjfsd. if it's late, it's 100% just going to be ramen, pizza rolls, or like chips and salsa. possibly also ice cream even though shannon is lactose intolerant. if they do get something from outside, it's probably chinese food

5. what’s their love language like? Are they compatible with one another?

i really believe colm's love language is words of affirmation. he doesn't ACT like it because every third word out of his mouth is something sarcastic or a little bit abrasive so you don't get the impression he gives a shit about saying super gushy things about other people or hearing them about himself...but he really does. he absolutely melts if he's the recipient of a compliment. and as the story goes, his proposal speech to shannon was one for the ages. other than that, he's kind of more of a physical touch person as well. do not count on him to do acts of service...he's lazy tbh

tbh shannon is hardcore a giving/receiving gifts person. she's not really materialistic, she's just more like a lil crab or a dragon collecting their hoard of stuff LMAO and she loves gifting things to other people. she's also very good at it because she'll dig and dig through dozens of google pages to find a gift for even the most niche of interests. she is also into words of affirmation, though. not so much receiving but giving. although to be fair as i said before on another post, sometimes shannon has "foot in mouth syndrome" and her words come off a tad funky oops

all in all, i feel like they're pretty compatible. shannon can give him the type of words of affirmation he likes and doesn't care that he's not into acts of service because she's not the most task-interested person in the world either. and he's cool with giving her gifts. he finds it really easy since she's easily impressed and makes it clear what she likes but he still tries hard anyway to surprise her

18. how are they like on a road trip together?

i would say pretty good! although tbh shannon does not enjoy driving that much so he ends up driving constantly and it kind of annoys him because he also hates driving. she dislikes it because it's tiring and he dislikes it because other people on the road piss him the fuck off. it would be constant complaints about having to drive paired with them enjoying their favorite music and podcasts and lots of talking. probably too much talking but it's fine because they enjoy it

[strideofpride]

I would love to hear your director’s commentary on the time travel fic, whatever you want to talk about! 💛

Okay so writing it all out in a well-thought essay is harder than I thought so I'm just gonna do bullet points haha (under the read more).

Link to whole fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33591577

FANFIC WRITERS: DIRECTOR’S CUT

In fact, Humphrey’s whole bedroom looks much more girly than she remembered from that Thanksgiving in high school. She assumes it was also all Vanessa’s doing, noting to herself that Vanessa has surprisingly good taste when it comes to interior design. -> Starting off, I love this subtle little nod of Blair appreciating her own future taste without even realizing it's hers. Something something the subconscious always recognizes the self

As she gets out of bed, the whole previous night comes flooding back to her. The party at the consulate. Chuck showing up and embarrassing her in front of Louis’ mother. Louis proposing to her anyway. Going over to tell Chuck and he had… -> I purposely set this fic after 420 for two reasons: 1) it wouldn't phase Blair to see an engagement ring on her nightstand and 2) this is probably the time she's been as disconnected from Chuck as she's ever been since season 1, opening her up more to a future without him, and it also provides a strong contrast between the abusive love she experienced with Chuck and the safe and supportive love she now gets to experience with Dan

Blair walks out of the bedroom and sees Humphrey in the kitchen, making breakfast. “Humphrey- “ she starts to say, a question about just how drunk she was last night on the tip of her tongue, but he doesn’t let her get to it, interrupting her. “Sleeping on the couch wasn’t punishment enough, now we’re back to Humphrey too?” he says coldly. -> Tbh the main reason I made them have a fight is because I knew the fic wouldn't work if Blair woke up to find Dan already in bed with her, it would set her off on the wrong foot and freak her out too much to ever really warm up to Dan in the same way

It asks her for a four-digit passcode, so she tries 0724, Serena’s birthday, and luckily that works. -> Someone in the comments caught this...I changed Serena's birthday by ten days to make her a leo cause leo!Serena supermacy hahahaha. Also Blair using Serena's bday as her passcode just makes me feel soft

She unlocks her phone again and scrolls through her contacts. Serena, Nate, and Dorota are all still in there, but Chuck’s number is gone. She mentally debates for a few moments, before dialing Dorota. -> I rewatched 420 and 421 while writing this and realized that Blair is in too bad a place with Serena and hadn't interacted with Nate in episodes, so the person she'd feel most comfortable with in that moment would have been Dorota

Satisfied that she didn’t marry a gold digger, Blair bites the bullet and googles Chuck next. He’s still running Bass Industries and the Empire, is married to some Eastern European model, and has multiple children by multiple women. Blair touches the faint scar on her cheek again and wonders what Chuck Bass the father is like. -> Obviously, I considered me-too'ing Chuck but I set the fic in May 2016 so I could avoid the Trump of it all and the #metoo movement hadn't happened yet so...

She’s relieved to know that Serena didn’t answer her phone because she was ten hours ahead; she was kind of worried that Serena was pissed at her for marrying Dan, something Blair didn’t even remember doing. -> For further context, things had been really rocky between Blair and Serena since the whole Dan fight of 419 and that's all still fresh in Blair's mind here

Blair stops herself there, not letting that thought go any further. Her future self might’ve had sex with Dan, but that doesn’t mean that she was going to. The idea that he’s slept with her hundreds of times, while in her world she’s slept with him never, is a bridge Blair doesn’t think she can cross. -> Even though the fic I got the inspiration from took a...very different path, I knew I was not going to have Dan and Blair have sex in this fic. Dan would never feel comfortable sleeping with her if he knew the truth and Blair sleeping with Dan without him knowing the truth is a real messy consensual gray area that I didn't want to get into

Blair’s not sure why it never occurred to her that dinner at Lily and Rufus’ would mean dinner with the rest of the Van der Humphrey clan, but it didn’t, so she’s quite surprised to see Jenny and Eric already there when her and Dan walk in. -> I put in the Van der Humphrey dinner scene for two reasons, 1) to challenge Blair further and 2) to open up the world of the fic a little bit because it had mainly just been the two of them, even Blair's office stuff mainly serving the purpose of giving her time away from Dan to research and process her feelings

Dan’s already out of bed, and she finds him in the living room, just getting off the phone with someone. “That was Vanessa,” he tells her. “She says hi. She’s going to be back in town in a few months to work on a movie actually.” -> Honestly this bit probably doesn't really fit into the rest of the narrative, but when I write fic I have a tendency to need to FixTM everything canon fucked up and that included Dan and Vanessa still being friends haha

“Blair, I swear I was never going to do anything with them. They were just for uh...” he blushes, face turning so red she worries he’ll pop a blood vessel, “my own personal enjoyment…” he trails off. And oh. The idea that he writes about their sexual encounters for his own masturbatory purposes should probably bother her, but it doesn’t, at all. If anything, she’s incredibly flattered. -> Something something Chuck has always kept their sex life in the public eye, involving other women and Gossip Girl and making his little comments while Dan keeps that part of their life private, just for him (something something "our world is just for the two of us" or whatever)

“I guess it’s promising to know my dark side subsides one day,” Blair continues on as if she didn’t even hear him. “Your – your dark side?” A horrified expression clouds Dan’s face. “I bring out the worst in people. Especially men.” She touches the scar on her cheek again. “Look at what I pushed Chuck into. It was only a matter of time before Louis ended up the same way.” -> Most of this conversation was added in towards the very end after I rewatched 421 and got very angry at how Louis basically blames Blair's "dark side" for Chuck almost hitting her like wtf!!!!

The next morning when Blair wakes up, she doesn’t open her eyes right away. She’s in no rush. She knows no matter what she sees, she’s going to be just fine either way. -> Like I said in the author's notes, I struggled to finish this fic for so long because I could never settle on an ending, only to realize that there was no one ending, and that it worked best being open-ended...anyway, this was fun haha!

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Boxing Day Extravaganza boop Jimmy: Okay so we know they're taking the train Jimmy: which appaz only takes like 35 mins so that's nice, not to have to entertain the kids for an age Jimmy: cos everywhere would be busy and hellish given that it's boxing day Janis: nice lil' journey, no one has time to get antsy, probably only need to do one hellish train toilet moment per child lol Jimmy: we can all get arty because Jimothy promised to keep doing the bae daily masterpieces Janis: get a table seat, love that for yous Jimmy: Cass just on her phone 🎧 being antisocial the whole time, love you gal, but the rest of us are living our best lives Jimmy: having hot chocolate and all the left over gingerbread and other festive snacks like 😁 Janis: you'll end up having an alright time in your own tween way don't worry Janis: the plethora of christmas toys that you've simply had to bring Jimmy: maybe you can have a Lisa beach friends moment Janis: that'd be cute, some kids at the arcade or something Jimmy: much more British and chill because we haven't stolen Ian's car for you to cover with 🐚s sadly Janis: I used to make friends on hols, live laugh love with whatever kids have also been dragged to Skerries lol Jimmy: I did not which tells you everything you need to know about how shy I was and how much my sister didn't want us to have other friends when we were kids Janis: gatekeeper trace so rude Janis: okay, so we're getting there, what do we wanna hit, obviously all the beachy cliches we can and also some festive ones Jimmy: gonna have a dip in the sea even though it's freezing af even if you only put your feet in lads Jimmy: the awkward moment when you think you only have a day here so you're gonna cram it all in and then be like oh Janis: don't be babies you can do it Janis: not the actual babies though, you will die Jimmy: stay with Cass even though I'm certain Libi will wanna do it Janis: she will be tryna run lmao Jimmy: soz for that Cass Jimmy: you'll be able to go off with your mates when you meet them, just give jj the chance to be competitive in the sea for a sec Jimmy: obvs gotta win something piss easy in the arcade and then lowkey bankrupt yourself trying to get the same thing for the other kid as always happened to my dad LOL Janis: hohaha yes Janis: also last time we went to an arcade you could get gross sour sweets with the tickets so the kids will be pinging Jimmy: love that Jimmy: Jimothy see how many you can fit in your mouth/eat because I would Janis: changing money into all the 2ps for the penny falls and having the cup for the money fun Jimmy: I bloody love an arcade tbh all that good stuff and beach fun and snow fun because it has to snow more for the trains to stop running since you got there okay Janis: when you realize it's coming down fast hun Janis: and I oop Jimmy: should've tried to leave as soon as the snow started but we're not because we don't wanna Jimmy: even though that phone call to Ian to tell him you aren't coming back will be lovely and put you in a great mood Janis: like you LOVE spending time with your kids ok sir Janis: everyone gonna be lowkey pissed soz weather happens lads Jimmy: we're with all our fave peeps we'll soon cheer up and live our best lives Jimmy: we definitely need there to be some board games in this caravan Jimmy: crack out the uno Janis: its not like you're without shelter and warmth, everyone will be fine, we're all buzzing lbr Janis: yes, all the board games, there'll at least be a telly to watch festive shit on Jimmy: Jimothy will make so much tea, we'll be cosy Janis: you should also eat comfort food like beans on toast ty Jimmy: make a little soft world/den for the bubs Janis: campout in the lounge 'cos you're not gonna wanna share a room alone but also don't wanna be separated so enjoy the double moment Cass Jimmy: winning her over with that Janis: at least that's an excuse if we want to message 'cos no privacy whilst they're out here snuggling Jimmy: true that's a good idea Jimmy: and won't wanna wake them by talking out loud when they're eventually asleep which would probably take forever cos buzzing Janis: my thoughts exactly, and it means we can ref a bit without literally sitting here listing every possible thing ourselves Jimmy: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jimmy: 👍? Janis: can't really accuse you of making it snow Janis: but my foot does feel in danger again 🪓💘 Jimmy: just do 🌧 me Janis: next doodle sorted Janis: get loads of likes Jimmy: blank page would an' all long as I do a #goals caption Janis: show off Janis: not much chance of me giving you #goals muse inspo in day old clothes so you'll have to rely on that clout Jimmy: LITERALLY the opposite, about the muse not my 🎨 Jimmy: and there's every chance if you don't wear any clothes, duh Janis: you still have to think up the words Janis: and 🔥 emoji usage 🙌😩 Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 😍💕or 🤤 Janis: how much chance do you reckon there is of no clothes Janis: meant to be 🥶 to death here Jimmy: depends how 🔥 you reckon I am Janis: 💯 Janis: obviously Jimmy: but I get it, any excuse for a shopping trip, girl Janis: 🤑🛍😍 Janis: you know me so well Jimmy: meant to be working tomorrow, take your chance while there's still 💰 to be after Janis: bummer Janis: it should clear soon, can't have you pining for it too hard, like Jimmy: 🥺☕💔🎻😭 Jimmy: @ my manager before he has chance to miss me Janis: *replace you Janis: 😬😶 Jimmy: 😱😱 Janis: literally who said that, omg Janis: so rude! Jimmy: brb gotta 👻 there to serve some lattes Janis: yeah, you'll need to wife it before you try and leave me with 3 kids Jimmy: weren't no 💍 in the grabbers, looks like we're going shopping after all, babe Janis: missed a trick there, honestly Janis: probably had a ring pop if we'd looked harder Jimmy: Libi'd have that right off you, mate Jimmy: don't even have to jilt you Jimmy: replaced mid-proposal Janis: true Janis: and she needs no more sugar ever again Janis: ❌ Janis: you'll have to just stay put, soz Jimmy: were gonna get you one of them mood rings but it'd give the game away by saying you weren't ALWAYS 😍 Jimmy: only need the one fan 👀 Janis: how dare you doubt my acting abilities Janis: ALWAYS on and ready for my close up Jimmy: that ain't acting it's 🔮 OBVS Janis: magic, talent Janis: all the same to me 🥇👑 Jimmy: alright bighead, go on Janis: go on what? Jimmy: always on, you said Jimmy: impress me with one of your talents Janis: here and now? Jimmy: might be on for a bit weren't what you said Janis: Libi's already seen you partially clothed once Janis: not trying to traumatize them permanently Jimmy: what you bringing me into it for? it's your talent Janis: already shown you how to juggle too Jimmy: there's nowt else? Janis: rude Janis: you made me sing to you as well, if you recall Jimmy: tah for the reminder to send that to Pete Jimmy: he's looking for a lead 🎤 so I've heard Janis: I'd literally kill you Jimmy: shouldn't have to beg you Jimmy: you know that's all I want Janis: 😤 Janis: obviously all I want it to have an ill-fated romance with Pete but you stagemomming me was not part of the dream Jimmy: you look SO cute when you're fuming Jimmy: what's your plan then? Janis: find a totally natural way to drop hints that I'm dead talented over my lattes, duh Janis: writing lyrics in a notebook, being SO cute 🤔 Jimmy: he's got a girlfriend with a normal sized head, but I think he can read so you're probably on to something there with the last bit Janis: normal? Janis: how...exciting Jimmy: you'll find a natural way to drop hints you're after a threesome an' all I'm sure Janis: sounds like a 🥈 move Janis: if I can't get her chucked what is the point Jimmy: perfect for you, that Janis: in no world am I runner-up Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: not to her, just to me Janis: you don't do co-workers, you're disqualified Jimmy: you reckon you could get her chucked but I couldn't get him sacked Janis: 😱 Janis: then comfort him, that's evil Janis: okay 💀👑 Jimmy: 😈 Jimmy: haven't seen her for ages, bit of normality for you, that Janis: me? Janis: she's your favourite customer Janis: clearly spend loads of time chatting and plotting Jimmy: that's Tammy, how dare you Jimmy: she orders loads Janis: she needs the energy for her tiktok dances Janis: don't call her fat Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I would NEVER Janis: nah, 'course not Janis: she's your bestie Jimmy: #BFF Jimmy: but that's you an' all so Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: I'm not sharing Jimmy: I'm not making you Janis: you know she'd take a bigger piece Jimmy: she'd try but you'd 🥊 her Janis: you want me to fight for you Jimmy: if she's after me, you're gonna have to protect me Janis: alright Janis: guess I don't wanna see you squashed to death Jimmy: get these bandages off first before I need another set Janis: you can go have an ice bath Janis: if you wanna Jimmy: why would I want that? Jimmy: sounds fucking horrible Janis: not because you're being too 🥵 idiot Janis: to help with the swelling Jimmy: 🙄 I got that Janis: you went in the sea Janis: you just have to sit for a bit longer Jimmy: you didn't wanna be left with 3 kids a bit ago Jimmy: make up your mind, Jeanette Janis: later then Janis: just don't scream and wake them up Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: we'll 👀 Jimmy: yeah and you won't hear nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: did it hurt less today Jimmy: [throws a cushion at her for the 😏 and to distract from having to answer that because probably hurt more if anything all the fun and games they've done today] Janis: [inadvertantly start a pillow fight here which you need to then calm back down] Janis: don't think I didn't notice Jimmy: ? Janis: you didn't answer Jimmy: you reckon I never do Janis: it speaks volumes Janis: you're alright Jimmy: there you go then Janis: if you're alright with it being inferred, yeah Jimmy: dunno about your 🤓🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm alright, leave it out Janis: fine Janis: no hot chocolate for you Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you're SO rude Janis: yep Janis: that's what you get Jimmy: but Jimmy: we're best mates Janis: maybe Janis: but Bobbys nicer to me so he's getting extra marshmallows Jimmy: it were you going on about how you were gonna be nice to me Jimmy: should've known it were bollocks Janis: you threw the first pillow, mate Jimmy: you chucked out a pisstakey 😏 before that Jimmy: weren't me who started it Janis: not my fault you're known for being well loud Jimmy: isn't it? Jimmy: I'd say it were your fault Janis: don't make me 😏 again Jimmy: alright I'll make you 😳 Janis: I'll blame the ☕s Jimmy: you want a hand? Janis: [throw a LOOK from your kitchen area] Jimmy: [come on over boy and be giving her a LOOK back the entire time obvs] Janis: [do the thing where the kitchen is too small so you're lowkey just in each other's way the whole time in a #mood of a moment like so much more of a hindrance than a help] Jimmy: [and also the thing where you kiss only to break apart as if nothing happened if anyone notices] Janis: [Bobby would be used to you having a gf about as the last one moved herself in but Libi is not so she'd be the kind of kid to be like UMMMMMMM] Jimmy: [Oh Libi you are such an icon] Janis: [just like why you kissing are you boyfriend and girlfriend, Janis like shh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy's turn to be 😏 irl] Janis: [when you can't be like NO 'cos how confusing for the kids but you're like not gonna confess my love gal, hush, Libi is so gonna try and smooch Bobby watch out boy] Jimmy: [so here for that adorableness tbh] Janis: [when lil kids are like this is my boyfriend lmao] Janis: you've been replaced now Janis: how does it feel 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭😭😭 Janis: that's what you get Janis: dumping me mid proposal Jimmy: you keep saying that Jimmy: but from here I ain't proposed yet Janis: don't let on Janis: she'll be raging Jimmy: I'll take her with me tomorrow when I go pick the 💍 Jimmy: get her back on side Janis: got a plan for everything, you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: wait until its later in the year and I'm jonesing for more 🎁 again Jimmy: no need, you can have owt you want whenever you want it Jimmy: there's the plan, like Janis: well goals 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if nothing else Janis: plenty of 🌨 to play with tomorrow Jimmy: I do take requests Jimmy: have a 💭 what ⛄ you want Janis: well you are pretty skilled Janis: have to think of something challenging Jimmy: you've got all night Janis: if they ever go to sleep Jimmy: you'll have to read them a long boring story Janis: ❌ voices ❌ personal cameos for you kids Jimmy: get Bill's 👻 in Jimmy: owt of his'll get the job done Janis: 😱😱 so true but you didn't have to go there, babe Jimmy: he can't be fuming that I want you to stay with me, it's his whole brand Janis: 🤞 he don't get too carried away with your 💀 scene now or they'll be having nightmares and then there'll be no time for ⛄ Jimmy: they'll be able to hack it Janis: hack you up into lots of pieces Jimmy: don't matter about me, long as no 🐕s are 💀💀💀 Janis: if nothing he knows his audience Jimmy: I get it, you wanna marry him Janis: pretty sure he's married Janis: bet he's got more than 3 kids as well Jimmy: and what you're gonna let that stop you? doubt that Janis: rude Janis: breaking up Pete and his groupie is one thing Janis: homewrecking is another Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're 👌 at me now Jimmy: I just did do Jimmy: you'll be chuffed to know I had a look and he has got 3 kids Jimmy: one of them was a twin called Judith, so you might be his daughter Janis: like he had twins or one survived Janis: I'll take being the 💀 one if that's the option Jimmy: the dead one was a lad Janis: ugh Janis: great Janis: more lesbian jokes Jimmy: we've 💀💀💀 them, you're alright Janis: had no idea Judith was such an old name Jimmy: can't say I ain't taught you owt 🤓 Jimmy: know my audience an' all Janis: can't help yourself 🤓 Janis: I reckon Jimmy: you can't help nerd flirting with me, more like Jimmy: about to crack the chess set out, you Janis: chequers, maybe Jimmy: dunno never played Janis: just chess for thick people Janis: less 🤔🤓 more 🥴🤯 Jimmy: still too northern 💔 what were I gonna do make the bits out of 🥔 Janis: don't reckon we've got it in so you're safe Jimmy: what do you wanna do instead? Janis: that's the question Jimmy: answer it then Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: it's not obvious? Jimmy: might be but it should be just as obvious that I wanna hear it Janis: how badly I want some alone time with you just increased Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: worth a go Jimmy: [do your best to try and escape lads] Janis: [probably enough into our hot chocolate/festive film to give you a few minutes here] Jimmy: [take your chance and leg it] Janis: [lord knows you need the moment Jimmy: [it's deserved you didn't know you'd still be here with all these kids and no privacy whatsoever] Janis: [what a time, at least you don't have to go home and separate 'cos heaven forbid] Jimmy: [that would suck, the time between boxing day and nye is weird enough if you like your fam and aren't a highkey teen in love so] Janis: [hence 'I missed you' like you've not spent forever together at this point and barely been apart] Jimmy: [hence the most genuine smile ever like an adorable nerd because whatever he was expecting her to say was not that but we're here for it] Janis: [when you go to nudge him like shut up but it's more of a feelsy lean and we all know it 'sorry about missing work' 'cos we feel bad even if there's fuck all we can or could do about it] Jimmy: [always gotta give that feelsy lean back regardless of how much it hurts us which gets him thinking about how much work would suck being this injured so we're 😒 which makes it seem like we're really annoyed about missing work even though we know he'd rather be here, hence the shrug he does when he snaps out of said thoughts 'you're my fave job any road, said it before' stop calling her a job sir even if you said that in a more feelsy tone than the words suggest] Janis: ['charming as the first time' and a 🙄 we're probably playing off as more jokey than it is] Jimmy: ['nowt I'd wanna be doing more than pissing about here with you, what could be more charming than that?' maybe if you'd said that in the first place boy instead of calling her a job again] Janis: ['I'm against serving coffee to ungrateful dickheads, it's not much to brag about, like' but a shrug and 😏 'cos we're not fuming over it] Jimmy: ['loads else you could if you wanted to' just telling her she's 🥇 basically there 'but I'll do it if not' casual hypeman is how that sounds but we're just 😍] Jimmy: [when I was asleep a little list of things he likes about her/she could brag about came to me so I'll try and recreate it from memory for us now, first he was obvious and just wrote fit on her arm or wherever but then did a camera and painting mime to emphasise that and tell her she was a good muse before adding mysterious where he wrote fit but then it started getting cute cos he drew little vampire teeth in the air above her smile and a sun on her face which he added the 😁 grin to obvs and then because we were in that general area he wrote nerd in caps on her neck across the biggest lovebite because not only is she such a one but to include nerd flirting then we moved to her throat and he did 🗨 because he likes talking to her and added a 🎵 inside because she's genuinely a good singer then wrote fun before adding the ny as well cos she's also a laugh then he went down to where her abs are and wrote athlete also in caps because DUH and finally on her ribs did the ✔ again because she's been taking care of him and is so kind and nice etc and while he was there got carried away just drawing an elaborate and massive rose for all the love and feels we can't currently express] Jimmy: [there might have been others I'm forgetting but those were definitely the main ones] Janis: [I'm dying boo, we're going to have to be physical because if we aren't speechless then things will be said but it's going to be the most intense and loving ever so we know] Jimmy: [not letting that be interrupted, soz children fend for yourselves for a minute please] Janis: [it's not like we've gone far, you're fine and we need this so we don't die] Jimmy: [my half asleep day dream has killed us all I am soz] Janis: [we're not soz at all, y'all living your best life] Jimmy: [the feels have never been higher] Janis: [are gonna have to force you back in eventually] Jimmy: [if only so y'all don't declare your love in words as well] Janis: [smack on that window children because it's too damn soon hush] Jimmy: [Libi 👀 to see if you're kissing] Janis: [she's gonna tell everyone lmao, tiniest shipper] Jimmy: [I love her with my whole heart] Janis: [mcvickers getting that lowdown they did not ask for when we're back, accidental snitching, at least we're being good-ish lmao] Jimmy: [Fearghal gonna be so amused, Tess will not LOL but yeah you've taken good care of this bub so you win points for that lads] Janis: [can't say fairer than that] Jimmy: [gonna be so heartbreaking when you're not allowed to stay there and see Libi, I could cry] Janis: [we have to make things go so downhill in a sec in a lot of ways, sad times] Jimmy: [winnie will love the drama, but for now go inside and try and get these kids to fall asleep] Janis: [threaten them with separation if they don't start to chill, that'll work] Jimmy: [try not to lol at how horrified they are at the prospect] Janis: 😱💔💀 Jimmy: #relatable for you, that Janis: you wish Jimmy: 🎂 Jimmy: ain't even Jesus' birthday no more Jimmy: can't piggyback off that Janis: sound like a right parent Janis: over before it's even started Jimmy: none of the fans know when mine is, might just have it so you have to get me more 🎁🎁🎁 Janis: that's not fair Janis: you'll get whatevers left in the grabber and that'll be that Janis: you'll have to pretend you won it for me and all or it's not very #goals Jimmy: told you loads of times I don't play fair, Jules 🏆 and that's that Jimmy: spoil me on my fake birthday or you ain't very #goals Janis: well used to bdays not being fair 🎻🎻 Janis: 15 years too late for that to sting Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock you up your own 🎂 Jimmy: [genuinely goes to make her a mug cake in secret, look away children there's none for you bye] Janis: such a 🤓 Janis: [like we're not 😍] Jimmy: So you don't want it? Alright Jimmy: [we know she do] Janis: never said that Janis: [grabby hands like gimme] Jimmy: [🤫 which he always looks hot doing like okay cover me so you don't have to share this with the children] Janis: [🤐 like I got this] Jimmy: [cleaning the kitchen but also sneaky doing this and when it's done gesturing for her to come here so they can swap places and she can sneakily eat it, just know he has 1000% put a little candle it in and lit it with the best lighter ever because every mum has a drawer of shit like that it's simply facts] Janis: [obviously taking a picture of this] Janis: why are you Jimmy: 'cause you're Jimmy: and I just Janis: you're Janis: too nice Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: to me Jimmy: I'm as nice as I wanna be to you Janis: I ain't earnt it Jimmy: when have I said that? Janis: you haven't but it's still true Jimmy: up to me is what it is Janis: you hand out the 🏆 Jimmy: take yours Jimmy: you've been nice to me for ages Jimmy: what were it I said the other day, you'd be telling me to piss off by the end of this one Jimmy: worth a 🏆 that you've not Janis: just in it for the cake Janis: obviously Jimmy: you've done alright then Janis: it's not hard Janis: being nice to you Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say to make a cake Janis: [irl 😏 from the kitchen trying not to lol] Jimmy: didn't know I were fake dating a dickhead like Paul Hollywood Janis: again, you wish Jimmy: no denying that 👴💕 Jimmy: but I'll have to make do with a  🤝 off you for now Janis: [obviously come back over and do said handshake like a nerd and like it's not dangerous to be anywhere near each other rn] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna run his thumb across her lip whether there's any chocolate there or not because the mood we're in and we can pretend it's because it's so secret like can't let the children see the evidence] Janis: [thank god for the solid excuse to snuggle like we're going sleep now come on] Jimmy: [just 👀 at these kids all the damn time like are you asleep yet] Janis: [finally] Janis: I think she's asleep Janis: he's 50/50 Jimmy: [chucks something at him, softly obvs] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that was a risk Jimmy: [😏 because we love a risk like that] Jimmy: didn't reckon on you as 🙀🙀 Janis: you reckoned right then Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't get carried away Janis: I'm the one that's not scared Jimmy: prove it Janis: [a look that's half well how would you like me to do that and half, I'm thinkin'] Jimmy: [just a LOOK like] Janis: [I like to think you two are at least in the middle 'cos Libi and Bobby wouldn't stop chatting so you had to make a human barrier lol, so that makes it less hard to kiss him now and give him a new quick love bite but also harder to just stop there] Jimmy: [you know you're getting one back for literally no reason whatsoever gal] Janis: [casually trying have a makeout sesh in total silence rn] Jimmy: [we know how impossible that is for either of you so good luck] Janis: [gonna have to stop and pretend you're just being like, see, not scared] Jimmy: [gonna have to go for that ice bath for all the reasons now boy lol] Janis: they're definitely asleep Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I would've woke up Jimmy: you don't sleep 🧛 Janis: you want me to? Janis: [turning our back like night then] Jimmy: [you know we're rolling you back to face us girl even if it hurts us because have to be hot about everything] Janis: [a noise we're 🤞 just sounds like a sleepy sound 'cos there was no helping it] Jimmy: [kiss her so you don't make any of your own thank you sir, don't need to tempt fate and risk waking these kids up that soon] Janis: [can't even go to another room really 'cos doubt Cass is asleep] Jimmy: [she definitely isn't, soz lads for this struggle] Janis: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I did but now it's in writing I've gotta do something about it Janis: 👻 rules or? Jimmy: the only 👻 rule is no touching, don't reckon that'll sort it Janis: remind me why we invited them Jimmy: Ian's a twat, that were mostly it Janis: right Janis: that sounds about right Jimmy: least the 🐕's not here an' all Janis: 🌦 Jimmy: give us a bit more ☀ Janis: that's me and you though Jimmy: what kind of dickhead am I pushing in front of you like that? SO rude Janis: I'm so shy Janis: understated, honestly Jimmy: [when you're trying to stop yourself from loling] Janis: [fake punch him like oi] Janis: about to call you chivalrous but you can forget it now Jimmy: soz you can't have the 🙊 it's a bit too risky for me to use Janis: such an idiot Janis: why'd I invite you again Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: @ me when you've worked it out Janis: you're too busy to show me? Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: too something though Jimmy: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 ��� 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: you needed an ice bath anyway Janis: see how far we get without freezing? Janis: [getting up carefully to find 🚬s or a lighter like ?] Jimmy: [doing a help me up style gesture] Janis: [do, do not drop him now and do a throwback by kissing him against the door as you go out] Jimmy: [we love a throwback in this house honey] Janis: [thank god for cigarette breaks even though it will be very cold, we're extra] Jimmy: [your extraness will help keep you warm] Jimmy: [literally reminds me of when Baze had just got together and went on a caravan hol with the fam] Janis: [yes, very that energy, the sneaking is less high stakes but still] Jimmy: [you can go in harder than they could out there because less likely to be caught and less of a problem if you are so you're welcome for that] Janis: [literally we just don't want to wake the kids and make them cranky or cringe Cass out so you're fine lads, go nuts, who is at this caravan park in December, barely anyone] Jimmy: [fill your boots, you're very in love rn] Janis: [lowkey something is gonna get said during we're gonna have to pretend we do not hear lmao] Jimmy: [walking such a tightrope at all times, god bless] Janis: [go pretend to sleep lol] Jimmy: [the amount of things he would have to stop himself from saying when they are, you hush your mouth I swear down] Janis: [hence you ain't allowed, commit to this act please and ty, no more chit chatting] Jimmy: [he's not even allowed to say her name at this point so literally shhhhhh] Janis: [made that rod for your back boo lmao] Jimmy: [no regrets, it will HIT when he does] Jimmy: [you know he's not asleep though cos you know he can't get comfortable thanks for that Ian you dick] Janis: you should go get in a bed to yourself Janis: if he wakes up, I can tell him where you are Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: alright Jimmy: [just being fussy though so clearly isn't] Janis: you're never going to be able to sleep though Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you're keeping me awake Jimmy: it's you 🗨 Janis: you're 😫😤 Jimmy: but not 😭😭 Janis: I can still hear you Janis: and you keep moving about because you can't get comfortable Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: go get comfortable and I'll keep an eye on them both, that's nice Jimmy: how's chucking me out nice? Janis: for the aforementioned reasons Jimmy: for you that I won't be doing your head in Janis: no, so you aren't in as much fucking pain, idiot Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [angrily stomp off for a wee hen] Jimmy: [do your own to that 🛏 when she gets back] Janis: [oh the drama] Janis: thanks Jimmy: there's nowt to stop you 😴 Jimmy: crack on Janis: hardly Janis: there's two small, wriggly children Janis: don't need to be moody about it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: don't need to go on at me now you've got what you want Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: or 🙄 at me either Janis: alright, shut up then Jimmy: you Janis: it's not my fault Jimmy: never said it were Janis: then stop taking it out on me Janis: do something about it that's actually gonna help you feel better Jimmy: I've not, I've said nowt about it Jimmy: you're the one who can't leave it out Janis: you're in a mood Jimmy: not with you, dickhead Janis: I know that Jimmy: 💭 what it were like when you fucked your ankle up Jimmy: this actually were my own fault Janis: no it ain't Janis: and I'm meant to just ignore it then, alright Janis: won't be doing that, sorry Jimmy: Bollocks, you can't go about being a massive dickhead and expect no pushback Jimmy: but it weren't this bad before Janis: it's too far Janis: you could literally be in hospital and it wouldn't be an overreaction Janis: there's no call for that Jimmy: it ain't you who decides where the line is Jimmy: or where I'll end up Janis: it's a pretty widely agreed upon line Janis: he could ask garda if he wanted to do something about you taking the car Jimmy: we've been mates for a minute, what do you know? Janis: that doesn't have nothing to do with being able to tell he took it too far this time Jimmy: you don't know fuck all about me or what he has or hasn't done Janis: I've seen the state of you, for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not saying shit about previous or implying that it means anything but you can barely breathe right now Jimmy: the state of me is right, what bit of this has owt to do with you? Janis: I'm not going to piss about with you doing stupid shit if you aren't handling your actual Janis: that's what Jimmy: piss off Janis: you Jimmy: who the fuck are you giving me ifs and buts Jimmy: you piss about with me whenever it suits you Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [hear that door go] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'll be back when I need to be Jimmy: for all you know you've woke every dickhead up and that's now Jimmy: but alright, keep giving it out like you're so bothered about the state of me and the bollocks I can't do while you leave me here on my own Jimmy: not fake at all Janis: I know it ain't Janis: and if you're gonna leave a 4 year old kid to freak out that'd be on you Janis: I don't have to stay and listen to you, who the fuck are you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I didn't slam the door, they're asleep Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: forget I said owt Jimmy: top reaction Janis: yeah 'cos you've got fuck all room to talk Janis: be better for you if I did Jimmy: I don't wanna do this Jimmy: talk about it Jimmy: have to fucking handle it or whatever it were that you said Janis: then don't talk about it Janis: it's the bare fucking minimum to not expect me to ignore that you're in pain Jimmy: and what, you think I don't know that? Jimmy: that I wouldn't do a better job of this if I could Janis: apparently, I've got no right so Jimmy: you shouldn't have to hack this an' all Janis: I don't Janis: all I was doing was saying go sleep on a proper bed Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: weird Janis: how is it Jimmy: I said I dunno Jimmy: it's been ages since anyone bothered to say owt worth listening to like that Janis: well Janis: why fuck yourself up more Janis: that's it, it's no deeper than that Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: that's been the question up to now Janis: if you're gonna self-harm Janis: don't do it in front of me Jimmy: you get to hold the 🔪 my dear, and when you do it'll be a pisstake if you don't go harder than that Janis: I'm not playing right now Jimmy: nor me Jimmy: what I meant were, it don't matter to me what happens to me if it only happens to me Jimmy: very catholic of me, I know Janis: i'm not interested in having no more blood on my hands Jimmy: not bleeding out as of now Jimmy: you're welcome to piss off again if I ever am Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: what kind of answer is that? Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: and what kind of question is that an' all? Janis: I'm not in the mood Janis: to talk to you or do this Janis: I'll be back to do my share and then we'll go back as soon as we can Jimmy: just come back now Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I'm fine Jimmy: I won't be if I have to piss about looking for you Janis: don't Janis: I know where I am, it's not your concern Jimmy: don't make me Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: is right Jimmy: come back and ignore me from here Janis: don't tell me what to do Janis: I'll come back when I'm ready Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: then I won't have to Janis: how far do you reckon I've got in this time Janis: I'm basically outside Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: might've 🏃 anywhere Janis: it's snowing Janis: in case you'd forgotten Jimmy: that'll be why I want you to come inside Jimmy: tah for recognising it Janis: don't come near me then Jimmy: alright Janis: [show up a few minutes later] Jimmy: [we do be giving her space like she requested thankfully but we have made her a tea because it's our love language and it is cold af out there no lie] Janis: [act like you're not gonna take it for as long as you can but clearly do] Jimmy: [go to your bed sir and give it a while before you come at her again] Jimmy: What did you mean? Janis: about what? Jimmy: you said you don't wanna do this, which bit? Janis: I was talking about tonight Janis: not permanent plans Jimmy: weren't how it sounded Jimmy: you had a plan and it were to piss off back there as soon as Janis: both gotta work Janis: both got kids that don't belong to us Janis: just the obvious next step, really Jimmy: if you wanna pretend that's why, go on, obviously Janis: I'm not pretending shit Jimmy: you don't have to be a massive dickhead to keep it going just 'cause I already were Janis: obviously I don't want to spend no more time with you too Janis: why would I Jimmy: no idea Janis: there you go then Jimmy: alright then Janis: she'll be gutted Jimmy: ? Janis: Libi Jimmy: already spent ages longer here than we were going to Janis: true Jimmy: and she don't need to know that you're #overit and me Janis: makes playdates a bit awkward Jimmy: what's a bit more faking? nowt we haven't done before Janis: right Jimmy: she's less thick than most of our audience but still only a kid Janis: no need to break them up Jimmy: agreed Janis: sorted Jimmy: ✔ Janis: anything else we need to? Jimmy: like what? Janis: dunno Janis: why I asked Jimmy: it's your question, weren't me who asked it Janis: I don't ask questions I know the answer to Janis: as a rule Jimmy: if you had something in mind, say it Janis: there's loads of shit Janis: potentially Janis: mainly how we're finishing this if we are Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: it's you who wants to Janis: no it isn't Jimmy: weren't me who said I wanna go back or that I dunno why you're worth spending time with Janis: like you've not said shit tonight Janis: and neither of those is saying I want to finish it, anyway Jimmy: what else does not wanting to spend any more time with someone mean? Janis: we've been mates for what, a minute? Janis: we were doing it before then Jimmy: so you just don't wanna be mates? Janis: not worked out so great thus far Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it were going alright Jimmy: you don't need to chuck it all Jimmy: not for something that weren't about you Janis: you bighead is really showing Jimmy: how is it? Janis: 'chuck it all' Janis: I was fine before you came about, tah Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: how you say shit matters Jimmy: how I say loads of bollocks Jimmy: you get most of it Janis: I'm dickhead lingual, I guess Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: for what I said when I was in pain, that load of bollocks Janis: if you never phrase it like that again Janis: alright Janis: forget about it Jimmy: deliberately will ALWAYS phrase it like that now, each time Janis: if you could not make a habit of it, be appreciated Jimmy: being a MASSIVE dickhead? bit late for that Janis: I can handle that Janis: taking shit back that you've said Janis: leave off that Jimmy: not a habit I want Jimmy: only fancy the ones that'll 💀💀💀 me which that ain't gonna if it makes you piss off out of it Janis: a deal then? Janis: deal back on, actually Jimmy: if we shake on it Janis: okay Janis: come out then Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: meant to take your advice and stay put like a good lad here 🛏 me Janis: you're awkward how and when it suits you Janis: [but does, obviously] Jimmy: [will shake your hand and pull you into a hug gal] Janis: [the most dramatic hug, definitely forgetting to be careful here soz] Jimmy: [not caring that much because we care more about the bae knowing how soz we are and how many feels we have] Janis: [likewise, the tension got too much and went wrong, as it does, and we're #shooketh] Jimmy: [straight up asking her to stay for a bit because we're in our emotions so we're just saying what we wanna say without thinking about it] Janis: [just nodding 'cos that's all we can do] Jimmy: [making room for her as if this isn't a single bed lol] Janis: [at least you'll remember to be careful again and not hug him so hard, but then you're like oh, 'cos don't want to make it a Thing™ again so 'sorry, if you think I was making it all about me'] Jimmy: [a noise like no that is not what we think because 1. the strength of how much we don't think that 2. what are words and just hugging her for the emphasis] Janis: [shrugs like it's okay but we're not gonna keep going like we don't believe him even if we lowkey don't] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ! 'I think it's more of a headfuck than you signed up for, nowt else'] Janis: [just looking like how do I even explain that that's not your fault and literally the last thing either of us should be concerned about because it does not matter, just shaking our head like nah] Jimmy: [playing with her hair cos it would've had snow on it recently because there is too much we wanna say about our feels and so much we feel like we can't say about our family situation] Janis: ['I CAN handle it' like trust me] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like same even though you lowkey can't] Janis: [soft kiss] Jimmy: [you can have some little kisses too gal like my boo loves] Janis: [just being the most soft] Jimmy: [you gotta] Janis: ['we're alright, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod because the emotions are still too high rn and I'm not letting you say shit thank you] Janis: [sigh of relief] Jimmy: [hugging you again cos we don't want you to leave] Janis: [you can stay here lads, the bubs will be alright and you'll hear if they ain't] Jimmy: [snuggle it's what you both need] Janis: [let 'em be for a hot sec] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [what shall we do in the AM?] Jimmy: [make breakfast together for these bubs obvs because all the domestic bliss needed] Janis: [might have to trek to the shop to get supplies, that'll be an adventure] Jimmy: [maybe you can make them some kind of sledge because you're both crafty art hoes] Janis: [I bet there's some kind of tings in a caravan that would work, cannot think what exactly but we know the vibes, get creative] Jimmy: [I wouldn't have the first clue but you two would figure it out and you can get Cass to help she'd be into that] Janis: [as well as snowball fight and snowman making competition, which are 2 points we wanted to hit too] Jimmy: [love that and you can also make snow dogs for these bubs] Jimmy: [the question is should we let them have another night here before we send them back or is that too dangerous] Janis: [I think we should for the danger of it/to prove we can lol] Jimmy: [I'm down, just don't have another argument please] Janis: [hohaha, be good] Jimmy: [I have faith in you] Janis: [the only thing I've said you've done is baking/crafts so apart from that enjoy your snow/beach funtimes, you should also get chips for dinner, obvs] Jimmy: [yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else they should do] Janis: [there's potential the kids have said more? because this is a whole long weekend and they don't know/care not to so, that's potentially something we need to know] Jimmy: [oh that's a good idea, is there any tea you want spilled] Janis: [hmm, she'd probably just KEEP talking about her parents like all the things she's been told about Edie specifically, so all that tea, just more than we've got out so far] Jimmy: [likewise can picture Bobby really driving home the point that he doesn't have a mum and like what he remembers about her being basically nothing so it'd be obvious they haven't seen her for ages not just since they moved] Janis: [poor babs, just bonding and JJ are here like and I OOP] Jimmy: [I hope Cass isn't around when you're spilling that tea bub cos she will be fuming] Janis: [that is potentially a thing unless he knows better by now lol] Jimmy: [this boy living his best life with his new bff deal with it Cass] Janis: [soz hen, you'll be hanging with your new mates as much as you can so we're probably fine] Jimmy: [getting all that arcade swag] Janis: [love that we're pretending we don't hear any of this clear drama lmao ly babes] Jimmy: [poor Jimothy having to just sign all this back and forth like] Janis: [I do think for a bit Libi would keep shouting like he'll hear her eventually 'cos she's only little so that'll be amusing/a time just screeching everything lowkey] Jimmy: [that's really pure babe I do stan you] Janis: [people like that's a loud child lollollol] Jimmy: [I hope you're not still shouting when you go home hun, hilarious as that would be] Janis: [mcvickers like lawd, she'll be showing them how to sign what she's learnt like just in case bobby comes round] Jimmy: [which he definitely will at some point, all the playdates forever] Janis: [fully gonna just try and take herself to Jimmy's all the time like no gal] Jimmy: [shows up at his door because they literally live that close to each other everyone like !!!???] Janis: [troublemaker baby] Jimmy: [do so love the edition of her to this lil family unit JJ are making here though, she really does add to it] Janis: [agreed, it's very cute, she'd probably have told him about how Astrid is technically her auntie but like a year younger 'cos that's wild to kids, so gonna get a sense of how messy this fam is lol] Jimmy: [and she doesn't talk either so Libi would be used to having to find ways to communicate with her too even though we know Ro be pretending there's no issue rn] Janis: [exactly dr phil, we all been knew and trying to work around it apart from ro lmao, just giving a lowdown on every auntie she has which would be amusing and probably a lowkey drag for some of y'all ladies, we know Janis and Billie are her faves] Jimmy: [I can wholeheartedly support those faves gal, Billie would always be doing the most for her and Astrid, fuck you Ro you dusty bitch, Bobby would love all this cos they lowkey have no fam] Janis: [take 'em for rides on your fancy wheelz, they'd love that, just like you can come meet them when we get back like okay JJ, all this is happening regardless, soz] Jimmy: [if she was here you'd have a bomb sledge hens she's probably built Libi and Astrid all kinds of things, Bobby will love all of Ali's animals and shit she has too, casual farm moment] Janis: [probably telling you every cats name too, poor Jimothy is gonna need a break lol] Jimmy: [unrelated but related do you think Ali would have space for any horses because I have all that Cass horse content] Janis: [I think it makes sense, I too have some gay horse content, like it wouldn't be a working farm but I think she'd have various farmyard animals just for the household] Jimmy: [yeah it made sense to me too, like your auntie vibes] Janis: [mhmm, and it could've been just land when we inherited it but she's swagged it up now she has more time/the kids aren't bubs etc] Jimmy: [Bobby just asking if they can have a kitten, Jimothy like NO] Janis: [I'm cackling, 'cos Libi like YEAH] Jimmy: [just like okay can we have a chicken/pony/donkey whatever else creatures there are, Jimothy like lawd] Janis: [just shoving the whole barn into your rental home, god bless you tiny fools] Jimmy: [and then Bobby obvs wants to phone Twix and Jimothy is just trying to distract him because we don't wanna phone Ian and he won't play along with this thank you] Janis: [distract y'all with an activity fast] Jimmy: [they could make dog treats, it's not very difficult] Janis: ]that's a good idea boo] Jimmy: [casual gift to these pups] Janis: [they'll enjoy that, kids and dogs, also can have a tea party for the toy pups lol] Jimmy: [so CUTE gonna say that Jimothy draws you a little comic strip or something about these pups kids] Jimmy: [I don't know what daily doodle you're getting today Janis, but something loved up for sure] Janis: [frankly, we're all living today hun] Jimmy: [do you wanna do this night like we did the one before with them chatting again or are we just saying it's a chill loved up vibe?] Janis: [hmm hmm hmm, let's do it, maybe we can be cute] Jimmy: [you start it then gal cos I did before] Janis: [on it sonic] Janis: 🥇🏆💪 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: come on, we bossed it Jimmy: no need to sound surprised Jimmy: just that kind of team Janis: not going to disagree Janis: 🤐 'til they 😴 aside Jimmy: don't wanna fight with you either, you're alright Janis: really? Janis: 🍀 night Jimmy: unless you desperately wanna 🥊 with me, obvs Jimmy: can't turn you down then Janis: I'm gutted, obviously Janis: but I think I'll survive Jimmy: good Jimmy: 💀💀💀 ain't happening til they're 😴 either Janis: that's a promise? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you want me to break it or keep it? Jimmy: 'cause they might not be asleep for ages Janis: 😒 Janis: should've laced the hot chocolates, you're right Jimmy: we'll have to go properly on the run if either of them 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'm in Janis: knew you would be Janis: you can break your promise then Jimmy: round 2 ☕ coming up Janis: 😏 Janis: warn me next time you plan on being so 😍 yeah Jimmy: be loads of warnings Jimmy: never shut me up Janis: just say you aren't up to it, babe Janis: 😶 Jimmy: Why would I lie to you, girl? Janis: well you don't need to shut up on my account Jimmy: I get it, you need 🔊 Janis: needs a big word Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't you think? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I know what I want Janis: you'll have to convince me on need Jimmy: alright Janis: not mad about it if you aren't Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Janis: it's been a pretty knackering day being the 😎 brother and translator Jimmy: *standard Jimmy: nowt if not used to all that Janis: alright, show-off Janis: you're 🥇 we get it Jimmy: you've done alright an' all, don't be 💔 Janis: don't worry Janis: not a title I'm after, I know I'm not that good Jimmy: how do you? Janis: I don't do half as much with Libi Janis: or for her Jimmy: she still reckons you're 🥇 I had to translate her going on and on about it Janis: don't act like it was a chore 😘 Jimmy: you just said it were Jimmy: make up your mind, Jules Janis: no I never Jimmy: knackering, I think it were Janis: that's looking after this lot Janis: not hyping me up Janis: that's a privilege, DUH Jimmy: so funny, you Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Jimmy: you wanted a compliment Janis: say it like you mean it, boy Jimmy: [writes it on her how he did the other day] Janis: [try not to lol 'cos we know you ticklish and 😳] Jimmy: [go over it again like look how much I mean this, soz gal] Janis: [just wriggling away like staph] Janis: you're such a pisstake Jimmy: what, you still don't believe me? Janis: I believe you Janis: don't tickle me again or I will have to get you back Janis: been warned Jimmy: [obviously does by writing how? as in how will you get me back?] Janis: ['scuse us for our lols children, I hope you're sleepy enough that this doesn't devolve into an entire group tickle fight lmao] Janis: [but the LOOK will speak for us regardless] Jimmy: [always gonna give you a LOOK back] Janis: [smile at him too, like we can't even help it] Jimmy: [of course you're getting one back too because that kind of thing is infectious but also 😍 because her smile is always cute] Janis: you're fit Jimmy: you Janis: you x2 Jimmy: you 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're being very giving with the 🏆s lately Jimmy: and what? Janis: maybe I think I should do more to earn 'em Jimmy: I might reckon you have Janis: I can do better Jimmy: go on then Janis: wait Jimmy: but Janis: blame them Janis: [pisstakey evils at the children] Jimmy: [just mime killing them in all the ways boy] Janis: when we get back Janis: you'll give me some alone time before you go Jimmy: that a question or an order? Janis: a ? would be polite, I guess Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: cheek Jimmy: I'll give you owt you want, since you asked Janis: *nicely Jimmy: you could do better Janis: ['please' in his ear 'cos deserved after the tickling] Jimmy: [bite your lip please sir because we all know that affected you very much but the children don't need to] Janis: [pleased with ourselves dot com] Janis: better? Jimmy: it'll do for now Janis: gutted they're too young to leave in the arcade as well Jimmy: or chuck out in the snow Janis: it is melting a bit Janis: can go back tomorrow Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not saying it to 💔 now Jimmy: 🤞 I ain't gonna start 😭😭 now Janis: you'd never Janis: too 😎 Jimmy: too northern Janis: same Jimmy: SO much in common, us Janis: Does that mean we ain't star-crossed enough? 😱 Jimmy: it'll mean the #haters have to work harder at it Jimmy: Bill's gonna be chuffed to bits with that Janis: true enough Janis: if you're still here when school starts, Lucas is ready and waiting Jimmy: do you reckon he got any new ties for christmas? Janis: from who? the ex Janis: unlikely, that bitch Jimmy: 🎅 DUH Jimmy: bound to be best mates Jimmy: both into having kids on their laps Janis: ugh Janis: 🎅 gonna have snitched about us Jimmy: be about right Jimmy: fucking dickhead Janis: 💔 Janis: no presents no more lift offers Jimmy: only the full orchestra following you round Jimmy: poor baby Janis: tell me about it Janis: gonna be depressing as fuck Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: you're my ☀ Janis: 🔫 the 🥁 for me Jimmy: what? Janis: don't orchestras have drummers? Janis: 🎹🎻 then Jimmy: bit weird that you went right for him 🎯 Janis: so #notlikeothergirls of me Jimmy: not knowing if he exists Jimmy: might be a copout of you Janis: just meant he ain't the lead singer but yeah Janis: ask Pete Jimmy: can't be, that's you Janis: well I am my own favourite person but no need to spread that about Jimmy: can't do that either, your fav's meant to be me Janis: hang on Janis: I'll post something to that effect Janis: [do] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [have a little socials flirting sesh to further ramp up the tension that's always there] Janis: [you're always about that kids] Jimmy: ☕? Janis: if you mean tea Janis: I'll 🤮 if I have another hot chocolate Janis: and the gals aren't here to impress Jimmy: 🐕🍪? Janis: fuck off 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [just checking him out whilst he makes tea so casually] Jimmy: [will do the lingering touch when he gives it to her cos we're in a rom com] Janis: I get it, you miss work SO much Jimmy: nowt to do with missing you Janis: don't be silly Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: insensitive to suggest we deafen her too? 🤷 Jimmy: she has done every other dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: only fair Jimmy: [mime some ways you can deafen this poor bub] Janis: [trying not to IRL 😂] Jimmy: [trying not to be 😍 af because she's the cutest] Janis: face'll get stuck like that Jimmy: already stuck as 😒 Janis: exactly Janis: don't ruin it Jimmy: know how much you're into 🥺 though Jimmy: [does it] Janis: [pinching his bottom lip between her finger and thumb like she's so 😒🙄 but there's no hiding the truth hen] Jimmy: [once again running his thumb across her bottom lip because we don't need a reason] Janis: [holding his hand but squeezing it first 'cos must] Jimmy: [drawing a ! on her hand because we get it] Janis: you're Jimmy: [drawing a really slow ? as we give her a LOOK] Janis: [shaking our head, like I can't] Jimmy: [draw a 🗨 like tell me] Janis: all things considered Janis: this has been alright Jimmy: yeah Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: [looking away 'cos we're so overwhelmed and 🥰] Jimmy: [kiss her because likewise] Janis: [don't hate children] Jimmy: [we know you ship it] Janis: [reminds me, Libi probably saying something so embarrassing about 'when they get married' like gal shut up but never do] Jimmy: [about to sob because they will and you can be a bridesmaid gal even though you'll be a teen by then] Janis: [so nice, 'cos Edie wouldn't have been old enough for a proper one which is sad, at least she'd start going on about hers and Bobby's so y'all don't need to feel too awks lol] Jimmy: [break my heart boo cos yeah they would've been engaged but she was but a child still so no actual wedding for y'all] Janis: [she was only 16 for like 2 months so even if Ali had agreed] Janis: [omg hang on] Janis: [what if she did 'cos like, end of the day, make your own mistakes etc and who is she to say no 'cos Cali lmao but technically Drew could be considered to have 'parental responsibility' if he's been paying which let's say he has, it seems wishy-washy but if he was like NO, 'cos just show up to do the least last minute is such a vibe for him, I think it'd count 'cos you need both parents if you have 2] Jimmy: [I love that and we must because it was like OG Cali vibes to have an underage teen wedding moment] Janis: [like so sorry do not need to be creating drama last minute in your life but also it makes sense, because as much as it's like who tf are you, it'd be conflicting because she's only wanted a dad and for him to care this whole time so] Jimmy: [soz not soz about how happy this makes me and Libi will have that wedding video to go with all the others she has] Janis: [it just makes sense that they'd try, obviously, that Ali would say yes even if she's got the reservations she has, so yeah, anyway, that's not to do with y'all lmao I just had a thought] Jimmy: [gutted this isn't Ali's caravan cos there would've been a whole dressing up box for you bubs if it were] Janis: [you can have a fake wedding when you are home lol] Jimmy: [for now make some paper doll bride and grooms that'll keep you busy] Janis: [burn that evidence, Tess is gonna be horrified, like what's this about ANOTHER teen wedding] Jimmy: [honestly this fam do make me cackle] Janis: [not enough time has passed since ruster getting married at 18 we're all triggered lmao] Jimmy: [would Edie's be before theirs or after? I get so confused] Janis: [hmm, let me think, theirs would be about 34...which is when Libi is born, so yeah, Edie is about 15 so it's the year before, 'cos obviously they get married like RIGHT before they die in 35] Janis: [talk about a YEAR for the fam, hi I'm having a baby @ 14 and hi I'm getting married to my cousin @ 18 oh and I'm also going to get pregnant] Jimmy: [we are so wild I love us] Janis: [if anyone's kids would, it is Alison's but omg, we're shooketh, not to mention we cripple Billie, then the Junior baby drama...no one getting out unscathed] Jimmy: [and now we've got jj triggering everyone and Grace out here about to also think she's a teen mum for a hot sec] Janis: [this is why everyone chats shit about y'all, but imagine the lowkey weird guilt 'cos nothing does happen to the twins really, aside from the obvious, but it's bad enough this all happens in your fam and then everyone won't shut up about it like] Janis: [also Nancy and Ava by that extension 'cos Buster embroils himself in it all and the Chloe and James of it] Jimmy: [that's why Grace is how she is guys, this fam and shit nan ruining her life lowkey] Janis: [when you can't complain 'cos it's like um well Edie's dead and Billie is crippled for life so bye, hence Janis just does as she pleases and is a bitch to everyone 'cos call her a troublemaker and whatever then, like fine, it's better than trying to deal and act like you're #grateful and #blessed] Janis: [and that's all the drama that's yet to come out, oh guys] Jimmy: [I'm gonna go re-read what I said about Jimothy's ex on the school trip because only time she's been mentioned and maybe tone that situation down depending what I've committed to because the cali fam is a LOT] Janis: [I remember the basic vibe was pregnant and with her dad's friend but yeah, go look] Jimmy: [yeah but hopefully I haven't gone in mentioning that so far and we can be like ❌] Janis: [yeah, even if it was just a lad her own age-ish and preggo now, 'cos it may have even been 2 kids and they're only 15 now so] Jimmy: [I think we've got away with implying she's a very messy bitch who has now changed her ways at least somewhat so that's fine because I don't think I've mentioned her in any of the festive convos] Janis: [we'll let you live gal] Jimmy: [anyway we've been derailed] Janis: [truly, y'all want to settle these children down again tah] Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: [get in your little den bubs] Jimmy: *🥱🥱 Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Ideal Janis: just saying, not going to their wedding Jimmy: we'll be long 💀💀💀 mate, don't worry Janis: not if she makes herself a loo roll veil and has done with it Janis: poor Bobby has had no say in the matter Jimmy: ain't seen him shake his head Janis: such a romantic Jimmy: Dunno where either of 'em get that from Janis: dread to think Jimmy: no need to 💭 about owt that isn't #goals, you're alright Janis: 🤵👰💀🤢 Jimmy: don't fancy the look of your new scale much Janis: 😏 Janis: not a question I'd even fake pop, don't be 😱 Jimmy: not even if every dickhead but me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺?! Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: even if I had fuck all, you wouldn't be getting half of it Jimmy: keep your 🐕🏃💰🔐 I get it Janis: you don't whore for those tips for nothing, yeah Jimmy: in the job description, that Janis: why else would you apply Jimmy: my ☕🎨 going unappreciated in this lifetime is an #ultimatekink Janis: of course Janis: 💔 fuels your craft Jimmy: 🖋✎🖌🔪🔧🔨🪓 Janis: 🥱 to 🤤 Jimmy: massive scale that one Janis: one time speed is impressive Janis: have it Jimmy: if you ain't bringing up either of us being 🥇 at driving Janis: that aside Janis: 🏃 too Janis: not where my 🧠 was obvs Jimmy: tah for not wanting to piss off Jimmy: mine's not on 🎨 at this very minute so I ain't after the 💔 Janis: 💀💀 Jimmy: ? or ! Janis: bit of both Janis: request and an order Jimmy: come here then Janis: [a look like dare I/do I but also a LOOK obvs] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK back always] Janis: [get snuggled in this den moment best you can without disturbing the kiddos] Jimmy: [being as sneaky as we can cos don't need these kids getting extra about your rom com life again but pulling her into his lap, injury be damned because we miss it] Janis: [missed it too and our expression would say as much] Jimmy: [it's been forever like literally pub crawl was the last time] Janis: [upsetting and rude, frankly] Jimmy: [it really is, excuse you Ian] Janis: [thank god she's skinny if tall, not gonna kill you] Jimmy: [gotta do what we gotta do cos shameless fave thing ever] Janis: [just drawing doodles all over his arm with her finger] Jimmy: [playing with her hair while she does] Janis: [we're happy and that always scares us ah] Jimmy: [likewise, oh lads] Janis: [go on your phone and see about the NYE party you aren't gonna get to go to and show him like] Jimmy: [ooh good idea boo] Janis: [are we saying it's at Mia's or did I imagine that] Jimmy: [I think we did to make it more of a thing that they don't go, because we all know Mia literally never hosts a function like it's only this all year] Janis: [so it would be such a to-do for the flat whites 'cos lord knows you've not got the reps you think you have ladies] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and we know her and Pablo are over/on the rocks so she'd be even more extra about it] Janis: [thankful we miss it tbh] Jimmy: [hard same and not just cos I love the drama] Janis: [its all the drama mick, we know it'll be a terrible party but yes, rn you can plan how you're gonna slay it if you wanna] Jimmy: Go on, how are we topping 🎄 with them? Janis: already done 😇 Janis: so it'll have to be 🌟 Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say 😈 Janis: also a possibility Janis: this party is one of the only way she has of winning + at this point Janis: how do we really ruin it for - Jimmy: where's her dad? be real hell for him, this Janis: some beach in the Caribbean Janis: he couldn't miss that to continue her punishment Janis: 💔 he don't care as much as you thought, babe Jimmy: still probably won't take much to get him back Jimmy: that lass ain't had another go at a party since we fucked up hers Janis: he is with her mother so fuck knows how he manages to have a good time Janis: assumedly it's one giant swingers convention or whatever Janis: true, I wanna do it worse though Janis: more personal, just need to 💭 how Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you want me to 💀💀💀 them for you Janis: like the sound of that Jimmy: so say it and I'll do it Janis: that's how it works, yeah Jimmy: you can have owt you're after from me, you know it works like that Janis: only if we post it Jimmy: you've got my permission to hold my 📷 while I've got the 🔪 Janis: 😍 Janis: can't promise quality Jimmy: what are you promising? Janis: you know what Jimmy: don't get more top quality than 🥇 Janis: whatever you want Janis: that's what I'll give you Jimmy: I just want Janis: go on Jimmy: [kiss her please because I'm not going to let you say something extra right now] Janis: [intense silent kisses ftw rn] Jimmy: [I do hope these children are asleep because silent is not his forte for very long] Janis: [we'll give you that, as Libi has already rinsed you lol] Jimmy: [and keeps spilling all the fam tea] Janis: [gotta let you have something lads or you'll go cray] Jimmy: [and we're ruining it all for you soon] Janis: [ugh shit nan, soz not soz you're getting floored hen] Jimmy: [honestly wish it was worse cos so deserved] Janis: [as if this is the time for you to drag up Caleb's drama, like didn't even mention he had to go and get killed, like ffs] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali will ban you from the gaff because we're all sick of your shit my love] Janis: [we were humouring you to be nice but like, no] Jimmy: [the amount of chances she's already given you through the years, dread to think tbh] Janis: [we all know she gives too many, like she never banned either Caleb or Drew from seeing their kids or being involved, she's not that bitch if she doesn't have to be] Jimmy: [likewise with Joe and Ronnie, nothing if not consistent and I love you gal] Janis: [and ro lbr] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [oh rosaline, this do not be about you though, again, off topic] Jimmy: [I wanna say he's thought of something to ruin this party we don't get to go to because we just wanna give the bae everything she wants but I don't know what] Janis: [we can because as it won't get to come to fruition, we can be vague lol, just kissing him even harder] Jimmy: [how intensely we're doing literally everything rn because the feels are so high] Janis: ['we need to go' when you mean to the bedroom but that just comes out that dramatically lol, obviously we're whispering 'cos if you wake up now lmao] Jimmy: [try not to fall over the obstacle course of all the stuff these children have left everywhere because we all know you're gonna kiss the whole way there because forever a cliche] Janis: [as funny as that would be, one of you is injured and the other has only just recovered so be careful tah] Jimmy: [and you'd be fuming if you got cockblocked rn, we don't need another argument happening between anyone] Janis: [Cass I hope you're out or otherwise entertained 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [maybe you're asleep too tbf because we never get any at home and you've been busy having friends and living your best life] Janis: [let's go with it, we're all content] Jimmy: [hook up to your heart's content lads we'll be sending you back in the morning] Janis: [so you'll be going back 28th, just so we know where we are] Jimmy: [thank god you can work things out properly my boo] Janis: [gives us a few days to do with what we want so that's nice] Jimmy: [is there anything else on the list or have we done it all?] Janis: [the only things we have is Twix being ill and one of Asia's sisters having a bday party, we could do Twix in this period, can't really do a party between xmas and ny even they're not that dumb] Jimmy: [we should do that bday party when she gets back and things are really awkward between them because Bobby can be like I want Libi to come with me because they thing they are in love rn] Janis: [yeah, and they could fuck with Asia and when have they needed much more than a flimsy excuse so] Jimmy: [that was my thought, an excuse to get them back together that isn't just school] Janis: [think that was the plan, we can skip to when they're back if you'd like, don't think this has been that long] Jimmy: [I know we always say that but it shouldn't have actually been that long this time lol] Janis: [we alright, also back home and separated] Janis: everyone's sufficiently sure we haven't permanently damaged the kid here so 🏆 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Ian ain't gonna give me no 🏆 Jimmy: no longer the season Janis: and his nice act was SO convincing Jimmy: IKR Janis: 🙄 if I needed acting lessons Janis: which I don't Jimmy: you're in luck there 'cause my mum'd be the one for it putting up with his bollocks for as long as she bothered Jimmy: but about as likely as him chucking out the welcome wagon for us Janis: Shame Janis: better not tell him about the wedding Janis: 😡 🤬 all 'round Jimmy: the 💰 saver of making it a double might do something about that but with how you feel about sharing Jimmy: it'd be you fuming Janis: look like we'd hired mini-mes Jimmy: bit of a mix up with yours Janis: it happens Janis: get what you pay for 🎻 Jimmy: she's spot on with matching your ☀ personality, babe Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: low Janis: don't compare me to a toddler 😂 Jimmy: work on her volume 🤏 and no dickhead'll know the difference Janis: you're gonna talk big now I can't do nothing about it Janis: twat Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: doing my bit so you ain't 💔 missing us Janis: very thoughtful Janis: I'll be buzzing to sleep in a proper bed on my own Jimmy: just that kind of twat, me Janis: I know Janis: how many treats he given the dog then? Jimmy: come on, none of us can count that high Jimmy: need you for that Janis: I'll have to come see you then Jimmy: won't let you 😴 heard you about wanting your own bed Janis: it's not that good, honestly Janis: but you know Jimmy: sounded alright to me, might just be the no kid 💭💡 though Janis: yeah Janis: unlucky Janis: least you won't have to make a fort every night Jimmy: depends how 💔😭🎻 he gets missing her Jimmy: might have to do all sorts of bollocks Janis: 😏 Janis: tin can phone might actually work from that distance and with her volume Jimmy: dinner and tonight's crafts ✔ Janis: caravan life makes you so resourceful Jimmy: ⛺️ next? Janis: calm down bear grylls Jimmy: only answer to daddy 🐻 or baby when you INSIST on a compromise Janis: well, baby Janis: imagine the previous 2 nights, in a tent, with no room to hide Jimmy: all of it or just the bits I wanna 💭? Janis: the bits you wanna wouldn't have a lot of hope of repeating, is my point Janis: unless yours is making dog treats was your fave Jimmy: OBVS Janis: dickhead Jimmy: time of my life that were, think about it constant, no room for nowt else but 🐕🍪 Janis: yeah, you do LOVE that dog Janis: fair enough Janis: you two go on your camping holibobs Jimmy: bit rude you're not coming, but alright Janis: no room Jimmy: loads under the ⭐s girl Janis: 🤩 Janis: tents are for pussies Jimmy: it's a yeah now then? Janis: just us? Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: bit unfair to call the kids pussies but probably more unfair to make 'em rough it like that Jimmy: reckon I'll just leave the 🐕 with our kid, so he's not as 💔😭🎻 you reckon he's not 💪😎 Jimmy: it's a 👶 an' all Janis: I never slagged him off Janis: he's alright Janis: just Jimmy: just us Janis: yeah Janis: and all the ⭐s Bill knows the names of Jimmy: he'd have me name them after all the ones I've got for you Janis: why the pricks not invited Jimmy: keep it between us that we're even going Janis: 🗢🔒 Jimmy: til we get there Jimmy: 🗨🔊 then if you want Janis: *need Janis: least we get to christen Mia's bed this party Jimmy: 🤞 we find her diary an' all Janis: can put it on the site Janis: the good bits, anyway Jimmy: trash her room since she was so chuffed the last time Janis: wonder if daddy keeps anything incriminating about the house Jimmy: he'll have an office Jimmy: dickheads who spend every minute at work always do Janis: yeah, I know the sort Janis: and keeping it locked'd be too suspicious Jimmy: piss easy Jimmy: where on the scale'll 💀👑 end up if we christen his desk an' all? Janis: I'd guess 😩 🥺 😢 😭 but we'll see 'cos I know where I am Jimmy: go on Janis: guess first Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't tell ya Janis: play the game Jimmy: you're 😳 Janis: close Janis: 🤯 you keep having such good ideas Janis: 😣 it ain't tonight Jimmy: might have a 🥇💡 for tonight if you play nicely yourself Janis: how do I do that? Jimmy: do you need me to tell you? Jimmy: done a top job of it without that Janis: might be part of the fun Jimmy: I dunno what fun we're having yet, just that Ian'll have had an easy go of it while we were gone Janis: bet it was well hard for him to act like he gave a shit you was gone for longer Janis: plenty of ways to get to the truth of it Jimmy: can't promise you'll 👀⭐'s but there'll be 🎆🎇 Janis: I'm in Jimmy: we should be out first, dunno why I'm pissing about here when he is to chuck the kids at Janis: there is loads for Bobby to tell him Jimmy: and my sister to go on about an' all Jimmy: and there's this Jimmy: [evidence of whatever carnage Twix has caused] Janis: 🙌 Janis: told you she was on side Jimmy: [evidence of how much she's wilding because they are back and she is lowkey scared of Ian] Jimmy: Dunno about that, doing my head in already, her Janis: n'awh Janis: shut up you 💘 it Jimmy: sounds and feels right fake Janis: then you're used to it Jimmy: you coming out or what? Janis: you reckon that's how Romeo got invited up the balcony mate Jimmy: no hot chocolate included in my invite, what more to do you want, Jules? Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: yeah Janis: love 💀 things Jimmy: chuck me off the balcony then Janis: don't tease me, baby Jimmy: I mean it Janis: where do you wanna meet Jimmy: where are you? Janis: still at my grandparents so Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: where do you wanna go Jimmy: where do you? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: yeah Janis: it really don't Jimmy: just don't let Libi see us Janis: I'll come out Janis: she's not taking over again tah Jimmy: I'll warm you up Janis: I'm not scared, remember Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can Jimmy: if I don't I know what will do Janis: scare me? Jimmy: 🌡 Janis: bighead 😏 Janis: not not true though Jimmy: you and your one track 🧠 sweetheart Janis: Bill ain't invited Janis: don't need to pretend Jimmy: Oi, I've got a 🎁 for you and it ain't just 🍆🎀 Janis: what you done that for Janis: not christmas no more Jimmy: 🎅's for life Jimmy: so's pissing off Ian Janis: oh, go ahead 🍾 Jimmy: [show up boy because she's not far and hand over what you've stolen from Ian's replenished stash and I'm gonna say one of the bottles has a post it stuck to it with today's doodle which is like something to do with them stargazing obvs] Janis: [take the bottle and stick the post it on his head whilst you take a swig 'did he find his car or what' 'cos we left it somewhere then dipped so] Jimmy: [stick it on her back like excuse you it's for you when you take the bottle to take your own swig and then nearly choke cos you're loling because he hasn't because I see no reason why he would have considering where they left it and he knows nothing about Janis or where she lives] Janis: [stick it on the back of your phone or something to keep it safe, shaking our head and smirking because it's funny but also 'what's your long term plan?'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'depends' like it's so casual and we don't think about how much we hate Ian constantly lol] Janis: ['yeah, depends if he takes it to the police' kicking a stone as we walk 'we'd both be seen in it on CCTV' shrugs 'you probably want to return it or make sure someone worse takes it now'] Jimmy: ['he's not that kind of dickhead' because he isn't lbr 'he can have it back before he's in work again, don't need him hanging about having a longer holiday'] Janis: [nods like good 'glad you have a plan' and a look like NEVER had one of them before lollol] Jimmy: [a look like are you because we know we're all thinking about if this plan works and he has to leave] Janis: [shrugging it off 'not getting arrested for you' and quickening our step so we're a beat ahead] Jimmy: [💔 mime before she gets ahead of us and lighting a 🚬 when she is] Janis: ['bit rude' when you're not offered one immediately] Jimmy: [pull her back a step like it was rude of you to walk off and so you can light one for her in a saucy and intimate manner] Janis: [this 😒😣 truly I shan't elaborate] Jimmy: [a look like what even though we know] Janis: [taking the bottle back like that's what] Jimmy: [writes a ? in the condensation on the bottle because we like being annoying] Janis: [rubs it out and uses said condensation to draw a cross on his forehead] Jimmy: [that's cold and ticklish so we gotta retaliate by putting our forehead to hers OBVS even though we literally could have done a million other things] Janis: [the effort of NOT kissing him right now just to prove a point] Jimmy: [when you could just kiss her but you want her to do it so you're just doing the thing where you pull her closer to you even though you're already close af] Janis: [can't even LOOK at him you're that close, just this bottle between 'em] Jimmy: [you can lick your lips though boy and you shall] Janis: [bite your own like how dare you] Jimmy: [pull her hair like how dare YOU and also to bring her even closer] Janis: [noise between a gasp and you know what] Jimmy: [getting one back always] Janis: ['why'd you have to-' but interrupting ourself to kiss him finally] Jimmy: [have an intense makeout sesh for a bit] Janis: [idk where you are randomly in the street tis the season] Jimmy: [they blatantly are and I love that for you] Janis: [always the vibe, always the mood] Jimmy: [trying to think of somewhere you could go even though neither of you actually care] Janis: [oh the places you can't go when you're a teen or lowkey ever, just chillin'] Jimmy: [would love if there was somewhere you could go 'camping' for a little moment but idk] Janis: [there's always the park but yeah literally idk where else] Jimmy: [everywhere else would probably be a trek sadly] Janis: [maybe you can go cali house way, there's ample camping space there but probably not tonight luvs] Jimmy: [put a pin in that dream] Janis: [emotions too high rn] Jimmy: [rn and forever tbh] Janis: [we're not okay but also the best we've been in forever, very confusing lmao] Jimmy: [we know he's in exactly the same boat and that's why you are #fated] Janis: [what a time] Janis: [you should probably have to go properly home at some point tonight gal] Jimmy: [can't avoid it forever we haven't moved you in yet] Janis: [and you have been gone since boxing day so your mother would kinda exist hen] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and you don't hate her as much now she's a sassy single mum so] Janis: [yeah we're not thrilled by it all but we are gonna be running away soon so we'll give you a hot sec fam] Jimmy: [you can't be together always lads it's too dangerous because of all the shit we can't let you say] Janis: [plus Junie hasn't made an appearance this year so you all have to go a bit harder than normal soz] Jimmy: [that whole shitshow is very fresh] Janis: [mhmm, it's very recent lmao, and Caleb and honestly Edie, oh the mess, god sake shit nan why] Jimmy: [we're all struggling, not to mention we said that Carly died around this time of year so Ali really doesn't need this shit nan] Janis: [sad times all round honey] Jimmy: [remind me to decide when Jimothy's mum went missing in terms of that anniversary because I've not] Janis: [noted] Janis: [enjoy that bus gal] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: if the driver ain't human, it ain't me you wanna be telling Janis: you with your facebook ma 👍 Janis: the driver is deffo human, can smell him from here Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: might be trying to get a lift to anywhere Janis: not quite the midnight train Jimmy: can't be bothered to wait that long Janis: let me know how anywhere is Jimmy: no need Jimmy: you can have the 👎 now Janis: oh, it is you Janis: 😒 Jimmy: who else were you after? Janis: checking you weren't 🤖 Janis: or 👵 Jimmy: 👴 Jimmy: soz to 💔 you Janis: why would that 💔 me Janis: my type, no Jimmy: you've had to piss off, for a start Janis: I'll survive Janis: have to pick up all the farmyard critters your brother ordered anyway Jimmy: tah for that Janis: you're welcome Janis: 🤠 Jimmy: 🤞 there's no room left for Ian Janis: maybe in the shed Janis: if he's lucky Jimmy: the trampoline's a good shout Janis: 🤔 might be too much fun Jimmy: with his back? Nah mate 🎻🎻 Janis: 😂 Janis: least he doesn't have the 👵 bladder Jimmy: he's welcome that we keep nicking his stash Janis: I appreciated my gift Janis: even if it weren't ���🎀 Jimmy: far as street corners go, didn't reckon that one were 💰💰 Janis: I weren't gonna tip you Jimmy: 👵👜💰 Janis: she was not gonna get involved Janis: watch, maybe Jimmy: that's what I said Jimmy: different street maybe Janis: well it's pretty rude you can't perform without a big audience Jimmy: never said that Janis: hmm Jimmy: weren't asking for a review either but alright Janis: not giving one don't worry Jimmy: it's the fans who'll be dead relieved Janis: that we don't hoe it up on street corners? Janis: as they weren't there with 📱s out, probably Jimmy: that and you don't reckon I'm always ready to perform Janis: I'd never say that Jimmy: you did Janis: not to the fans Jimmy: you're alright, not my own biggest one Janis: yeah right Janis: your head is the the only one to maybe rival mine in size Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: dunno which 👵 or 🤖 you're on about Janis: you aren't shy Jimmy: you got a scale for that an' all? Janis: 😶🤐😬🙃😲😁😩🤮 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: I know you're 😁 Janis: but I'll 🤐 Jimmy: you Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: duh Janis: pretty nice Janis: could've gone 😲 Jimmy: still time for you to change my mind if you're that 💔 Janis: you like calling me scared, is all Janis: I'd go for 🙃 Janis: very dead in the eyes Jimmy: 👍's a bit strong Janis: yeah, it's an exclusive list Jimmy: obvs your 👀 are on it Janis: just my eyes? Jimmy: you reckon I never answer questions, what makes you think I'll do that one? Janis: miss 100% the shots you don't take, babe Janis: worth one, like Jimmy: I get it, you miss your coach and teammates Janis: coach is a bit much for the PE teacher who oversees all the girl's teams Janis: but whatever fantasy you're having, go off Jimmy: it's your 💭💕 Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: SUCH a #lad I only know about 🥤 shots Janis: we're pretending you're a jock now Janis: okay, catching up Janis: 📸❌ Jimmy: Bill will be fuming if we start performing Grease Janis: such a snob Janis: loves the limelight way too much, that one Jimmy: you'll have to picture me in short shorts on your own time Janis: when I'm not thinking about my teammates, I'll give it a 💭💕 Jimmy: brb 💭 about the wrestling bit of the montage 🤼💕 Janis: pervert Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, what happened to whatever fantasy I were having, crack on? Janis: I can't help not being a lesbian Janis: you'll have to keep it in your head, won't you Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you're such a twat Jimmy: SO complimentary today, you Janis: yeah, warn me if you want to screenshot and I'll bother Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Whatever Janis: talk to you later Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: cool Jimmy: is it? Janis: 'course Janis: I've got nothing to say about this bus, you're chatting shit Jimmy: bit rude Janis: is it? Jimmy: how isn't it? Janis: Some things my one track mind ain't interested in Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: just stop taking the piss Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry, I'm not in the mood Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: just Janis: the lesbian shit Janis: I know you were joking but don't Jimmy: It's my homoerotic scene not yours, you're not Danny Zuko, soz girl Janis: alright, foreign exchange student Jimmy: I'm not into firing shots that'll actually wound you Jimmy: blanks are 👴 perks Janis: alright Janis: let you off then Jimmy: 🤞? Jimmy: no point you being fuming if I can't see how fit you look Janis: going home is shit Janis: know you already have Jimmy: I've not Janis: you've not? Jimmy: there's every point Ian being fuming and he won't be if I'm about to 🐕🏃 or babysit Janis: where are you gonna go Janis: for the forseeable Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: Come on Janis: I wouldn't have gone yet Janis: if you'd said Jimmy: that'll be why I didn't Janis: you're going to be bored Janis: and cold Jimmy: I'm northern Janis: now I seem like a total dick, right Jimmy: you went 'cause you had to Janis: least all the pubs are open Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: I'll find some 👴 mates Janis: yeah Janis: you will, right Janis: or go church, ALWAYS open, you know Jimmy: Jesus IS my BFF Janis: exactly Janis: keep you warm Jimmy: bit of 🙏'll do that Janis: ah, the homoeroticism strikes again Jimmy: nowt warmer than hell fire, babe Janis: I'll see you there still Janis: loads of ways to get in Jimmy: alright, but I only wanna see you if you recreate your angel outfit Janis: 😈 is a fallen angel Janis: he'll allow it Jimmy: chuffed to bits to know he'll be a fan Jimmy: loads of ours won't make it down Janis: they lack the imagination Janis: 💔 Jimmy: what they lack would be a massive list Jimmy: I'd bother telling you what else I like before I did them bulletpoints Janis: 🥧🍺🥔👀 Janis: I can keep up Jimmy: ain't you who's illiterate Janis: welcome for the pictures Janis: you can give me one more, for being nice Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: copout but fine Janis: add it to the list Jimmy: you never said it had to be one you didn't know Janis: didn't say it was a cheat Janis: just a bit...lazy? rude? idk Jimmy: I dunno what emoji I would do for what you smell like without making it weird 1. 👃? 2. 🐽? Janis: can't believe the emoji library has let you down like this Janis: 🐽 is cuter, less creepy, anyway Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I'll add it to the list Janis: I could just use 🚬 for you, that's what you smell like Jimmy: can't say I don't do owt to give you an easier go of it Janis: bit of a stretch to blame/gift your addiction to me but yeah Jimmy: but more romantic Janis: that is what's important here Janis: what do I smell like, now I'm worried Janis: at least you like it Jimmy: if I could narrow it down I'd have done Jimmy: you're not a vape Janis: nicest thing you've ever said to me? 🤔 Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you really are great at this romance shit Jimmy: tah for not being 🍭🍨🍦🧁🍰🎂 it means loads to me an' all Janis: wouldn't be able to live with myself, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't be able to die with you Janis: 😷😷😷 Janis: ruin the ending, 👻 FUMING Jimmy: I'll tell him to take it up with 🚬 for only fucking your sense of taste Janis: there goes that sponsorship Jimmy: *🤐 Janis: I was doing great work saying how fit of a smell it was Janis: ffs Jimmy: Where? Janis: I put it on my list, duh Jimmy: said you could not that you did Janis: there you go then Jimmy: say it then Janis: I like the way you smell too Janis: and there should be a less creepy way to say it, you're right Jimmy: 🗨 can still stay on the list, not that you've even remembered it Janis: I've not forgotten it Janis: just doubt you like it as much as 🥔 for example Jimmy: what's it that I'm doing now? Jimmy: bit rude to doubt me Janis: I'm not a good conversationalist, not something I've got an ego about Jimmy: it's my list, dickhead, not yours Janis: but you're 🗨 about 🗨 to me Jimmy: and I'm 🗨  I rate it Jimmy: you don't get a say in what I like, we're not 👰💍🤵 Janis: I just don't believe you Janis: but that don't matter Jimmy: why? Janis: s'your list, like you said Jimmy: why don't you believe me? Janis: 'cos I never know what to say, I told you Jimmy: so you manage to say the right things without knowing Jimmy: that's 🏆 Janis: only when they've been written for me Jimmy: it were you who said she's a more boring version of you Jimmy: you know that's not when I mean Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: I like talking to you, I said it ages ago and I'm still going on about it now so there's something in that Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: alright, alright Janis: I'll believe you mean it Jimmy: that's 3 things about you you've had off the list, so I will shut up now, like Janis: I'm not giving your 2 IOUs Janis: not fair Jimmy: so just tell me now Janis: I'm 💭 Jimmy: don't hurt yourself Jimmy: I get it's WELL difficult Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't want you accusing me of copying you, is all Janis: I like your voice, that's different from 🗨 Jimmy: 🥇🎤 me Jimmy: goes without 🗨 the accent is an' all Janis: I'm not 🤤 'cos you're English Janis: make me sound like them Janis: but Janis: I like not loads of other cunts have heard it Jimmy: none of 'em have, my customer service voice isn't how I 🗨  or any other dickhead really does Janis: ✨ so special, me Jimmy: my sister and Ian don't wanna talk to me and our kid can't with 🗨 so you're basically it Jimmy: when Libi ain't shouting over you Jimmy: but don't let your head get too massive, can't have you stuck on that 🚍 Janis: 🎈📌 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'd have to swap uniforms and 🚒🪓 you out Jimmy: what a ball ache Janis: more cliche too Janis: no one actually wants to fuck the police Janis: gotta keep it niche Jimmy: go on then, is that your last ✔? Janis: that's only 2, I'm not adding your real/fake persona, soz 👮 Janis: alright, as you went 👀 I'll go 💋 Jimmy: fuming that you'd make me wanna kiss YOU when giving ME a compliment but alright Janis: we're both well kissable, that's fair to say Janis: ask the fans Jimmy: shh I'm 💭 and I don't want any of them twats popping up Janis: 😶 Janis: oops, defeats the point a bit Jimmy: you're alright, I control the 🔊 in my head, I'll put you on proper loud Janis: I'd add that to my list but then you'd owe me Janis: not very 😇 Jimmy: you'll have to be 😈 Janis: your 🔊 then Jimmy: for a start Janis: I'm not going to put my own on my list Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: there can be crossover Jimmy: I already know you like the 🔊 I can get you to, so don't worry if 🚬 were a copout that is Janis: you can't claim eyes forever Janis: or I'll just list all the good stuff now and you'll be well fucked Jimmy: not that long of a 🚍 ride Janis: contrary to what you reckon Janis: not that hard to think up the shit I like Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I'm not 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you might float away Janis: if you're still out Jimmy: got nowt else on or anywhere else to be Jimmy: 🎈 sounds decent enough Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: Dunno if I'm chuffed or gutted you didn't go for 🐘 Janis: trust you Jimmy: well you being a better 🤹 ain't going on the list Jimmy: fuming Janis: you're still good with your hands Janis: just different way Janis: 🖕✌️🤟 Jimmy: I Jimmy: wish you were here sounds like we're still at the 🏖 and I'm 🖋 a postcard but Janis: you can draw me one Janis: wish I had something to do that weren't wistfully staring out of windows but Jimmy: 👴 flirting Janis: they are pretty saucy, you know Jimmy: never heard anyone use saucy since before I ⚰👻 so tah for that, Judith Jimmy: racy is another one I miss 👴💔 Jimmy: #thegoodoldcourtingdays Janis: 🏹 to please Janis: and I know my audience Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 💘 Jimmy: you had me at getting your MASSIVE ankle out Janis: oi, my ankle is perfectly normal now, don't try and trick me into sending you such a scandalous picture Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: proof's in the 📷 you set yourself up for that Janis: 😱 but my reputation! Jimmy: 🦶 size matters, my dear Janis: [obviously sends a picture with all sorts of pisstakey emojis and bants] Janis: dainty, I think you'll find Jimmy: [obviously sends a 😍 af selfie back which isn't even that pisstakey because we are feeling that rn and always] Janis: You're indecent Jimmy: can be if you like Jimmy: there's nobody else at the park Janis: how long do you want my list to be Jimmy: how long is it now? Janis: embarrassingly long Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: needs to be so long you're past caring about 😳 Janis: what will I do when you fuck of 🎈 Jimmy: come with Janis: alright Janis: we'll work on your list some more and see Jimmy: alright Janis: your ❌🍆s to give thing makes the list easy though Janis: just FYI Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: you probably wanna avoid being that guy at the park though Janis: if I'm there, different vibe Jimmy: you heard there's no 👀 or 👂 Jimmy: you'd have to be the one reporting me Janis: I need you with me too bad to do that Janis: I don't need bars between us as well as distance, like Janis: even Bill didn't go there Jimmy: The antlers are long gone, even if the 🎵's live on in my 🧠 Jimmy: no reindeer games that involve a jailbreak, I promise Janis: Shame Janis: how are you going to top your festive #lewks? Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Jimmy: nowt but full body glitter? Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds itchy Jimmy: 💀👑 not have a pool? 💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: SUCH a letdown Janis: 💡 Janis: have to ask Janis: clog the filters right up Jimmy: hot tub'll do IF IT HAS TO but it don't have the #drama Bill's after Janis: she's definitely got one of them Janis: sti soup that it is 🤢 Jimmy: really painted a picture for me there Jimmy: might just leave the ✨ on so she knows where I've been Janis: imagine how many secretaries have been disappointed in there Janis: not to mention the lads not quite swallowed whole Janis: not going to be unnoticed, I guess Janis: shine on Jimmy: Dunno if I wanna 💭 Jimmy: more tragic than owt Bill's ever written Janis: #bonerkiller Janis: she's 💔🎻🎻 daddy could ever be anything less than 💯 as well Jimmy: 🤞 he sends her a postcard, can't wait to nick that off the fridge Janis: so hot when you're mean Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not even started yet, baby Jimmy: didn't reckon on being chuffed to bits for her party but Janis: I know Janis: should thank us Janis: no one has ever been this buzzing Jimmy: except those lads when they realised they'd FINALLY 💀💀💀 Janis: you're special, babe Janis: not everyone likes it like you Jimmy: don't put that on your list Jimmy: makes me sound like a twat Janis: if I did it'd make me sound like a psychopath so Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: least we ain't made a list of the other dickheads we want to die Jimmy: length of it would be a nightmare Janis: and we're looking for less attention, not more Janis: school therapist can do one if she wants to chat Jimmy: bit rude she ain't introduced herself to me, been here ages struggling with this bloody paddy language barrier Janis: how dare she not want to start an inappropriate relationship with you Janis: Lucas doing all the heavy lifting for her 😤 Jimmy: am I losing my new boy ✨ or what? 😱 Janis: her cardigan collection means she's either celibate or a massive lesbian so Janis: you're still so ✨ I SWEAR Jimmy: Why not both? #dontlimityourselflove Jimmy: OH THANK GOD Janis: read that as #doityourselflove so, yeah Janis: must be what she's up to in her office, bless Jimmy: Be Lucas in detention an' all Jimmy: will have spent the hol practicing with them new ties so he's ready to go Janis: you better be here Janis: or my trauma is on your hands Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: plays right into the hands of that gay therapist Jimmy: you don't know it weren't her spreading those rumours Janis: make sense Janis: did turn her down last time Janis: doubt she works commission for every fucked up kid she 'helps' Jimmy: I'll be here to save you, Joanne Janis: Ian don't move fast Janis: I've noticed Jimmy: he's got the 🐕 and 👶s to bring him 🍺🥧🥔 when there's no Sharon, no need to move Janis: so what's your next step Jimmy: body in the boot when I bring the car back? Janis: his or john/jane doe Jimmy: Sharons obvs Janis: duh Janis: we're framing him Janis: okay, where's she hang out Jimmy: depends Janis: when she ain't photocopying things Jimmy: she's always photocopying her tits, full time job, that Jimmy: what it depends on is which Sharon you mean Jimmy: but probably find any of them in the hair dye aisle Janis: all of 'em at once Janis: like confused blonde gazelles Janis: *blonde, with bad roots and tell-tell greys 😱 Janis: have to stack 'em up Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not a list, technically Janis: Sharon x ??? Jimmy: be weird seeing their real names in all the papers Janis: for your dad too Janis: can pin them on his cell wall Jimmy: Dunno what he calls 'em Jimmy: @ him Janis: I'm not sure I need to 💭 Jimmy: 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: bit late for the christmas card Jimmy: crack on drafting your new year's text Janis: Dear future father in law Janis: terrified Jimmy: *daddy in law Janis: 😂 Janis: even better Jimmy: do they not make new years cards? 💔 missing something if it's not 🖋🩸 Janis: you send the text before the rush hun Jimmy: oh tah, I'll make sure our kid gets on the tin can 📞 proper early Janis: yeah, little socialite will be well busy Jimmy: got a wedding to plan if nowt else Janis: don't tell him it's her 4th Jimmy: he'd never stop 😭😭 Jimmy: I'll 📞 him now, let Ian sort that Janis: nursery gets wild, what can she say Jimmy: gutted she can't come to the party 💀👑'd never survive her review Janis: 💔 Janis: have to arrange a play date Janis: 💀👑 n #2'd keel over 🤞 Jimmy: I'll stick in it the group chat Janis: make sure you make it clear there'll be kids there Janis: don't want them to die of excitement before we can do it ourselves Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not playing with them Janis: can't make me Jimmy: could but I won't Jimmy: you're my best mate, they ain't having you Janis: 😳 Janis: can I put that on the list Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: yeah Jimmy: so there's your answer Janis: what emoji means BFFs Jimmy: 🤝? 🤗? Janis: 🤝 Janis: I don't know what that other fucker is doing Jimmy: looks like when dickheads mime they're being kissed, do you know what I mean? Janis: well, we aren't THOSE kind of friends Jimmy: what sort are we? Janis: strictly 🤝 professional Janis: don't get any ideas Janis: so friendzoned Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: is it? Jimmy: have to be now you've said, won't it? Janis: not necessarily Janis: what kind of friends do you think we are? Jimmy: I weren't planning to stick a post it on your head Janis: might help you remember my name Jimmy: I know your name, Juliet Jimmy: dunno what you're on about Janis: mhmm Janis: my mistake Jimmy: not as thick as I look, remember Janis: I know Janis: mates, remember Jimmy: 🥇🤝 Janis: ✨ Jimmy: you gonna wear them for the party an' all? Janis: couple outfit!!1 Janis: I don't know Janis: it's gonna be all LBDs and sparkles so Janis: got to do better Jimmy: question is, shopping trip or crafting session? Janis: I've had enough crafting for one holiday Jimmy: thought you were gonna say one life Janis: and 😢 you like that? Janis: not very nice Jimmy: being nice I were about to offer to take you 🛍  after work Janis: yeah? Janis: 😇 boy Jimmy: never said I'd 💰 for owt Jimmy: steady on Janis: duh Janis: don't need money Jimmy: 😈 then Janis: we can pretend Janis: you will be sick of using your customer service 🔊😁 Jimmy: already am Janis: I'll come in a bit early Janis: you can talk to me properly Jimmy: you're being too nice now Janis: that a no? Jimmy: it's a what do you want? Janis: 😈 Jimmy: go on Janis: tell me when you're off and you'll see if I turn up early or on time Jimmy: [a time] Janis: sorted Jimmy: what about about now? Janis: what could I possibly do that was 😈 now Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: you're right, no chance of topping the 🦶📷 Janis: that kind of shameless reverse psychology will always work Janis: hold on Jimmy: don't need to be a school therapist Janis: bringing her up ain't gonna get you anything 🔥 Jimmy: if you can't give me owt 🔥 when you're under it from any bollocks going, what kind of muse are you? 💔 Janis: you get what you give, dickhead Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 obvs] Janis: [more risque pic back than last time, idk the scale but one up from whatever we did before] Jimmy: alright, I take back what I said Janis: you better Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 👍 Jimmy: should've said you were so 🏆 I'd have offered to lend you my 📷 before the killing spree Janis: I prefer when you take them Jimmy: that going on the list? Janis: I don't know if I'm that comfortable with the spotlight Janis: but you make me look alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: how you look Janis: nah, but I don't immediately wanna hide or flip you off so Janis: take it Jimmy: gutted 🖕💕 Janis: [pic of] Janis: anything for you, dearest Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: there she is Janis: not been mugged by some random slag Jimmy: bit awkward I were so into it if you were Janis: yeah, she'll be fuming if she ever finds out Jimmy: our secret Janis: fuck off Janis: supposed to say I could never get mugged 'cos I'm so 💪 Jimmy: I dunno how many fake muggers there were, mate Janis: don't matter Janis: GOD Jimmy: were he there an' all? bit rude of him not to help you out Jimmy: such a good catholic lass Janis: he helps those whole help themselves Janis: and you might be friends now but known me longer so he'll definitely let me smack you Jimmy: wouldn't stop you myself, how could I when you're THAT 💪🏆🥇 Janis: 😒 Janis: shush Jimmy: walking wounded, me Jimmy: about to turn into a ⛄ Janis: stop it Janis: focus on finding a decent pub Jimmy: without you as my sat nav? Janis: why'd you let me go dickhead Janis: I'm mad Jimmy: why'd you have to? Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: they'd all survive Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I'll live Janis: yeah Jimmy: don't be pissed off at me Jimmy: 🤗🤗🤗 Janis: do what you like, mate Jimmy: *🥺🥺🥺 Janis: you're so annoying, you know Jimmy: I'll go back when you have, it's 🥇🤝 of me or some bollocks Janis: don't go back 'til you want to Janis: just do something that ain't freezing to death, tah Janis: I get why you don't wanna be there Jimmy: never ain't an option Jimmy: and the park's nice, loads of 🏆💭 Janis: okay Janis: that's true Janis: what you can remember Jimmy: that you offering to fill in the gaps or what? Janis: I don't know what you and don't 💭 Jimmy: could just tell me what you do, for a start Janis: could do Jimmy: so? Janis: we first went there after we ruined that bitch's shit party, yeah Jimmy: with half the other dickheads who left Jimmy: for a bit Janis: right, but no one's got any stamina so then it was just us Jimmy: feels like ages ago Jimmy: but all our 🎨's still here Janis: I remember that Janis: and it pissed it down, like school trip Janis: weird how it wasn't long ago at all, actually Jimmy: 🚫🌨 Janis: not festive but Jimmy: you were 🥶🥶 any road, I remember that Jimmy: had to chuck you a jacket Janis: you insisted, I remember Janis: as per Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: don't think you do 💭 Janis: was one of the many other lads I take there, was it? Jimmy: or all them sonnets Bill's got you bothering with Janis: if that's as far as your 💭 goes Jimmy: if that's as far as my memory goes, what? Janis: you don't remember as much as I do Jimmy: never said it were Janis: go on then Jimmy: I said sorry for being 😒 and having my own personal 🌧 over my head the way I would if you were really pissed off with me now Janis: what a nightmare Janis: making you say sorry all the time Jimmy: *not enough of the time Janis: not the kind of mate I'm trying to be Jimmy: why not? Janis: bit naggy Janis: bit more stepmum energy, that Jimmy: that weren't your reaction how I remember it Jimmy: might just be that the Sharons have done a shit job at giving out the right #energy Janis: I know it weren't Janis: weren't that drunk that night, if at all Jimmy: bit busy sorting that lass out for trying to make you look a twat Janis: n trying to hop on your dick, yeah Jimmy: that's every lass Janis: no need to flex, I've heard, like Jimmy: no need to 1. make it about me when it were about you 2. call me a lightweight Janis: 1. everything is about me, far as you're concerned baby 💕 2. clearly not as your 🧠 so clear Jimmy: clearly were saying you dunno what I do or don't remember a bit ago when you reckon you barely drank owt Janis: maybe you've got a shit memory Janis: not gonna assume nothing Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you're being irritating again Janis: what's your point? Jimmy: how am I? Janis: I don't know, just being pedantic and saying shit you know I'm not saying Jimmy: bollocks Janis: this is what I mean Janis: what's wrong, just come out with it Jimmy: nowt's wrong with me, I dunno what you mean Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: rewind then Janis: before you were using emojis solely to chat Jimmy: before we met's a bit far, Judith Janis: well they ain't my idea Janis: 💃💅🛍😘☕🍸💖 Janis: #inspo Jimmy: I get it, you want full verses Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [writes her a decent poem cos just that bitch] Janis: where'd you steal that from Janis: I can't find it on google Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: it's from my 🧠 Janis: just now? Jimmy: sound more surprised, dickhead Jimmy: you chucked me loads of #inspo Janis: I am, sorry, like Janis: how do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: say such Janis: 🤯 things Jimmy: just pissing about, me Janis: it's a skill Janis: you could use it for evil Janis: if you wanted Jimmy: have used it for 💰 Jimmy: at my school before Janis: yeah? Janis: 👏 Jimmy: no dickhead's gone above 🥔 prints Jimmy: had to do something to make it less grim Janis: you and your 🎨 temperament Janis: should do it here Janis: 💰s a 💰 Jimmy: massive language barrier Jimmy: don't 🗨 paddy Janis: gutted Janis: I'd help but Janis: need emotions and shit for that Jimmy: to proofread? Janis: yeah Janis: ❓❗ me Jimmy: nowt but going over it with a green 🖋 is it? Janis: depends how 💕 these notes are gonna be Jimmy: depends how 💰 they are Janis: so you'll do homework as well, sick notes? Jimmy: homework's a bit far Jimmy: unless it's about Bill obvs Janis: obvs Janis: you should do it Janis: you piss it out easy, evidenced loads of times Jimmy: know how to piss out a website and ads an' all, tah sir Jimmy: it's like he knew Janis: what a babe Janis: guardian 😇 Janis: don't put it on 💀👑 site, be a dead giveaway Jimmy: she'd have me doing 💌 for daddy Jimmy: talk about piss easy 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: xoxo 👻 boy Janis: keep it professional, babe Janis: she'll never pay if you sound as thirsty as you do Jimmy: she'd never pay Janis: 😏 cold dead hands Jimmy: would need your 💪 Janis: I'd LOVE to fuck her up Jimmy: not just her, any twat who's 💰 shy Janis: you reckon I'll be 😢? Jimmy: *😁 Janis: exactly Janis: ☁team Jimmy: SUCH a ☀ you Jimmy: 💔 you're not here Janis: how cold are you? Jimmy: how northern am I? Janis: stubborn* Janis: pretty damn stubborn Jimmy: *💪 Jimmy: VERY is right Janis: I won't disagree Janis: everyone's 👀 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: it's rude Jimmy: why? Janis: I can't look at you ALL the time Jimmy: can if you want Janis: can't right now Jimmy: 📷 Janis: but then the second problem becomes the first Jimmy: ? Janis: can't touch you Jimmy: you've got your perfect 💭 recall from when you did Janis: have to do Jimmy: I'll 🏃 Jimmy: race the 🚍 back Janis: very classics Janis: bit after Bill's time but he's down Jimmy: are you? Janis: you know I miss you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: it'd keep you warm Jimmy: not for long if your mum won't have me through the door Janis: she's got loads of kids, won't notice one more Janis: you can come, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: I want you too Jimmy: then I'll be there in a bit Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to have his car again Janis: yeah Janis: wanna take it for one last ride though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I know Janis: redundant Jimmy: I get it, you just wanna hear it from me Janis: naturally Jimmy: it's a yeah, never not a yeah to you Janis: 💀 me Jimmy: as promised Janis: s'all I want Jimmy: so slowly, so painfully Janis: shit Jimmy: if you can't feel the whole 🔪 we'll just have another go Janis: death by a thousand cuts might seem a bit ambitious Janis: but I've got trust in you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: you are Jimmy: you Janis: but you Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: you're Janis: you're more Janis: whatever you were going to say Jimmy: that's just you Jimmy: more than I can 🗨 Janis: but you make me feel so Jimmy: I should be fuming that you make me feel owt but there's no room for bollocks like that Janis: yeah Janis: like, I should care, be careful Janis: but I don't and I can't Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: nowt matters but this Janis: fuck it Janis: if you're alright with it, so am I Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: then I'm yours Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I've got no words for what that felt like Janis: but 👍 not 👎 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: like the twist of a 🔪 Jimmy: 🥇👍 Janis: good Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: I'll never get there if you keep being so Janis: It's hard being quiet when there's so much I could say to make you Janis: but I will Jimmy: it's hard being quiet Janis: you don't have to be, do you? Jimmy: not the one on a packed 🚍 but Janis: I've got loads of practice Jimmy: I'm not putting it on my list but take your 🏆 Janis: you don't have to Janis: when we get to mine, there's places we can be as loud as we want Jimmy: okay Janis: warm, comfortable places Janis: don't worry Jimmy: Oi Janis: I know, you're VERY 💪 and even more Northern Janis: but I want you to feel comfortable before I kill you Jimmy: don't be making out that owt worries me but how fucking far into the middle of nowt you live Janis: I know, it's very inconvenient Janis: miss his car, like Jimmy: why didn't I just come with you? fuck's sake Janis: same reasons I didn't stay with you Jimmy: 🥇💡 us Janis: Don't tell the fans Janis: so disappointed Jimmy: far as they know we're never apart Janis: if only, babes Jimmy: 💭🥺 Janis: I am more bored Janis: when you aren't about Jimmy: that it? Jimmy: the full scale of your feelings Janis: shh Jimmy: you're less 😳 when I'm not about Jimmy: greatest 💔 this town's ever had to go through Janis: if anyone wants to disagree I'll 🥺 at them Jimmy: What kind of dickhead would dare? It's the sort of 🎨 that ain't subjective, soz Janis: you'll have to let 'em know Jimmy: 📢 OI Janis: 😂 just like that Jimmy: know what I'm doing, me Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: but I am going to need you to show me again, like right fucking now please Jimmy: seeing as you were so polite about it, my dear Jimmy: what can I do for you right fucking now? Janis: just Janis: tell me you feel it too Janis: how much you wish I was there, or you was here Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the fans aren't the only dickheads 🤞 we were together all the time Janis: not my fault everyone else is shit Jimmy: 🤏 your fault you're not but Janis: you're not even meant to be here Jimmy: 👻 barely am, it's alright Janis: no it's not Janis: but I don't care Jimmy: it is, we can just Janis: just Jimmy: stick together Janis: yeah Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: makes sense Jimmy: good Jimmy: how much I like having you about is too much of a copout for the list Janis: when you're gone Janis: be more of a test Janis: always about now, like Jimmy: we're going together so ⚰ budge up dickhead Janis: shared enough single beds with you to manage Jimmy: might wanna stretch out a bit for the afterlife Janis: double plot?! 😱🥴 Janis: can only dream Jimmy: 👑 Janis: chuck ourselves off the same bridge, loads of room to swim about Jimmy: 🧜🏽 Janis: know I beat you so bad boxing day but it's okay Janis: can't drown once you're 💀 Jimmy: bollocks did you Jimmy: could've broken all my ribs and I'd still 🏆 Janis: the fact you've brought up your handicap speaks 🔊 Jimmy: of how 💪🥇 I am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you're done being nice now, I get it Jimmy: 🦈 Janis: you don't like it when I'm nice really Jimmy: don't I? Janis: nah Janis: do you? Jimmy: you reckon you know my ✔ Jimmy: no need to answer Janis: if you wanna be my mate you clearly don't ✔ nice very highly Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you were talking bollocks when going on about how nice you ALWAYS are to me Janis: by my standards Janis: too nice Janis: but by everyone else's, not winning no 😇🏆 Jimmy: 1. I give out the 🏆 2. no fucker else has any standards around here Janis: what's your verdict then Jimmy: on how nice you are or how much I rate it? Janis: both Jimmy: what's my verdict on you asking questions you know the answer to, more like Janis: 😳 you Jimmy: you Janis: tell me how nice I am, go on 😏 Jimmy: make me Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: it don't work without your 👀 Janis: [🥺 selfie] Jimmy: rude Janis: no, I'm nice Jimmy: it'd be nice if you were here and I could just Janis: what would you do Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: I'm nice Janis: yeah Janis: I can say it Jimmy: might do but you can't take a compliment Janis: psh Jimmy: alright so if I 🗨 nobody's ever been this nice to me, you won't be 😳😳? Janis: maybe a 🤏 but you don't need to know Jimmy: I want to though Jimmy: your 😳 is high on my list Janis: because it makes me look so 🤓 Jimmy: it makes us even Janis: [adorable nerdiness] Jimmy: might not remember when I got on the 🚗 to tell you the story of being a twat but I do and when it happened an' all Jimmy: 😳 before it were 😎 me Jimmy: it's just something you can do, Janet 🏆👏🌹 Jimmy: to be fuming about but I'm not Janis: Then you won't be mad that I do remember Jimmy: 'course you do, you were 🙀 I were gonna fall off Janis: 'scuse me for not wanting to watch you get injured when I could have the pleasure of doing it myself Janis: not Lucas Jimmy: compared to him you're a saint Jimmy: but don't worry I won't let your shit nan know Janis: just not a watch in the cupboard type Janis: I wouldn't bring up the subject, she might assault you or something Jimmy: can't have that or any more time off work 🤐 Janis: 💔 Janis: the world needs it's caffeine and it's eyecandy Janis: can't be selfish like Jimmy: direct your 🎻🎻 @ my manager SO hard done by that I didn't do boxing day he's given me every shite shift going til we're in school Janis: what a prick Janis: what shifts will he be working, I wonder Jimmy: there you go with the questions you know the answers to, girl Jimmy: if it weren't a full time job pissing off Ian, what with him being so easy going and it taking ages to do his head in, I'd add him to the hit list an' all Janis: fair, did do that one for effect, babe Janis: they'll send him off to some over shithole and you'll have a new one in a month, s'what they do with managers, yeah Janis: not worth the 🕖 or 💪 Janis: other* Jimmy: 💔 it ain't what they do with Ian's role within his company Janis: a good sex pest is hard to come by Janis: keeping tight hold, like Jimmy: every other dickhead stopping at stealing 🖋s Jimmy: pisstake Janis: he must be good at whatever the fuck he's actually meant to be doing besides 👀🖐 Janis: try to be selective so we don't have no more famines n shit Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for the Q&A Janis: think I'm 😍 for accounts Janis: no tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gonna have to offer me something more to pretend to be 😍 for your dad, soz Jimmy: I'm alright for you not fake dating him an' all Janis: good Janis: not seeing how that would EVER make him wanna leave anyway Janis: such a delight Jimmy: when you 💔 him duh Jimmy: but it's still a no tah Janis: think of some way before resorting to that Jimmy: I'd stay before that Janis: I appreciate it Jimmy: me an' all that you don't wanna fuck my dad Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: right Janis: you don't look that alike Jimmy: I'll take that compliment Janis: you can definitely have it Jimmy: that'll be the nicest thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: even if I were about forever Janis: bit sly to challenge me to compliment you loads Janis: 🥰 you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: he's clearly just pissed he's past it, and weren't as 😎 as you to begin with Jimmy: we're all 💔🎻😭 he gave his best years to Debbie when there's loads of Sharons cracking on with doing their roots as we 🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😢 I know Janis: yet again, SUCH a shame my ma's a natural blonde Janis: been a widow for ages, give him some tips Jimmy: for her Jimmy: what a bloody catch she's missed out on there Janis: 💔🎻😭 all over again Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🤞 they've taken the mistletoe down in his office Janis: can he hang on 'til NYE Janis: such a lad, it seems unlikely Jimmy: the things that Q&A would be full of if you'd only crack on, girl Janis: I'm naturally curious, don't be rude Jimmy: 💀💀💀😼 Janis: you saw all the fuckers Janis: just more siblings Jimmy: and I had to tell our kid all their names Janis: 😏 Janis: unlucky Jimmy: you gonna stop pissing about and get fluent or what 🤓? Janis: oi Janis: give me a break, it hasn't ACTUALLY been that long, remember Jimmy: I get it, I'm no Mr Lucas 😭😭😭 Janis: who is Janis: 🏆 lifetime achievement best teacher ever Janis: anyway, I like it when you talk, remember Janis: only so much your brother and me need to 🗨 about Jimmy: I were more thinking about you pulling your weight when him and Libi 🗨 but alright Janis: how long did it take to learn it Janis: actually Janis: obviously you didn't before 👶 Jimmy: no different from learning any other, how good's your spanish? Jimmy: it's about how much you bother, have to every day Janis: makes sense, not like it's optional Janis: and my Spanish is pretty shit, Lucas don't teach it 💔 Janis: it's like Portuguese but barely know any of that either, shit nan being predictably shit Jimmy: what about 🍀? Janis: little better Janis: did offer my services in good faith earlier Jimmy: to answer your Q, still get things wrong and he's been about and deaf for ages Jimmy: but it says fluent on the CV, nowt else matters Janis: 👌 Janis: long as you got the basics down, he ain't 💀 any time soon Janis: might try it with my cousin Janis: she don't speak Jimmy: bring her on the playdate long as Libi won't be 💔 Jimmy: our kid could have a teaching 🏆 an' all Janis: her ma probably won't have that Janis: not Libi stealing my phone to come up with the excuses there Jimmy: she the one from church? Janis: 💀 crew's oldest member, yeah Jimmy: next time there's a catholic occasion, we'll steal the kid Jimmy: can't really stop us, her Janis: 🦴 as a weapon? Jimmy: better bring the 🐕 in case Janis: 💡🥇 Janis: alright, I'm down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you off that fucking 🚍 yet or what? Janis: how far have you even got Jimmy: if it was real 💕 you'd have got off to 🏃 an' all Jimmy: have met me in the middle Janis: thank god it's fake Janis: don't need us both aimlessly 🏃 about Janis: but I'm basically back now, so I will keep a 👀 out Jimmy: have a 🥃 if you've got owt left from that 🎁 dunno where I am Janis: put your location on so I can santa-track you Janis: know what you and 🐑 are like, you'll get well off track and well distracted Jimmy: nowt to do with your 👀 OBVS Jimmy: [does put his location on] Jimmy: Where am I then? Janis: you can compliment me when you're nearer Janis: well done for being in the right county Janis: 🤔 okay, hang on Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: I'm gonna get your dad's car and come find you Janis: may as well Jimmy: that's how lost I am 😒 Janis: that bus takes long enough Janis: I wanna see you now Jimmy: alright Janis: you didn't fuck up that horrifically Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it's even more classics that you're lost Janis: very goals Janis: really should pick you up on horse but fuck that Jimmy: fake a 🐴 when we tweet it, be alright Janis: as long as you're not feeling let down Jimmy: NEVER Janis: good Janis: so ✨ you Jimmy: I just wanna see you an' all Janis: 👀 at me long as you like Jimmy: very subtle challenge Janis: yeah, 'cos that's all I want Jimmy: need an even longer lens to stalk you from the north Jimmy: make the most of my 😍 dickhead Janis: 😒 Jimmy: what? Janis: nothing 'cept someone just got off at my stop so I might be about to be murdered Jimmy: Oi, I ain't falling for that again Jimmy: you're too 💪🏆🥇 baby, weren't that what you wanted me to say about the mugging? Janis: ugh Janis: so tough being this tough Jimmy: whoever that dickhead is can't 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: not part of the plan Janis: I'll let 'em know you said so Jimmy: 📢 OI Jimmy: my victim, piss off Janis: **fake girlfriend Jimmy: *best mate I've ever had Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: meant to be scaring off weirdos, not being soft Jimmy: just claiming you, Jessica, if you wanted to be pissed on, you should've said Janis: got to draw the line somewhere Jimmy: I'll chuck you a pen Jimmy: can stab that prick with it after Janis: 🧛👅🩸 Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: don't fill up on him Janis: come on Janis: I could never get enough of you Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: control your 🩸 lust for a bit longer, tah very much Jimmy: you can have all mine Janis: you know you've got all of mine Jimmy: hurry up and come here Janis: I am, I swear Jimmy: on what? Janis: my 👀s? Jimmy: both of them? Jimmy: if I have to craft you an eye patch I might as well fucking sign up for Pinterest Jimmy: be that mum Janis: do you have a preference? Janis: bit weird Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you do not Janis: you're taking the piss now Jimmy: am I? Jimmy: not telling you now, mate Janis: 😣 Jimmy: do you want me to have a favourite one? Janis: that's no sort of answer Jimmy: it's a question for you to answer, so go on Janis: I don't think you do Janis: but I wouldn't be mad if you did Jimmy: it's the one on my left Janis: I'm gonna have to stop to look Janis: and then look at yours when you get here Jimmy: no #hate to the other one Jimmy: it's just Janis: you're just Jimmy: I don't know how to explain Janis: you don't need to Janis: I get it Jimmy: might be able to get your head round it if you have a look Jimmy: no good with words, me Janis: it IS weird but I feel it too Janis: I've 👀 at you enough to have favourites and 👀 things that it feels Janis: 😳 to admit to noticing Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say you'd looked at yourself enough to have a favourite eye Janis: charming 😂 Jimmy: probably don't spread that about, babe Jimmy: I mean, I get it, if I were you'd I'd be in the mirror all the time an' all but Janis: you know what you look like Janis: #bigheadconfirmed Jimmy: I never said I don't look at myself loads in every shiny surface of the CG Jimmy: what else am I gonna 👀 @ the customers?! I'm alright for that Janis: don't blame you Janis: obvs Jimmy: so go on, you said you've got favs Janis: I am not giving you them all Janis: right now Jimmy: one for one Janis: fair enough Janis: your freckles Janis: the ones on your back, especially but all of them Jimmy: you should've said before now, I'd have chucked you a pen for them an' all Jimmy: be a bit rude of me to do it to yours Janis: I can use my hands Janis: not that I scratch with purpose or intent Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: I should 📸 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I won't get a weird close up of your eye or owt though Janis: do what you like Janis: just leave it off the feed if it ain't #goals Jimmy: whatever we do is #goals Janis: just too good Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: alright, I'm getting near, stay still now Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: though that does sound like you're 🙀🙀 of sudden movements Janis: just mean don't keep walking and walk right past me/into the headlights tah Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: I'll leave it out Janis: you'll be glad you did Jimmy: never been a letdown, you Janis: don't need to big me up until I prove it Jimmy: I'm only saying you have, not that you don't have to keep doing it Janis: have to? Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: [turn up] Janis: get in Jimmy: [does obvs but not before opening her car door and kissing her because simply must] Janis: [pulling him into the car on your side so you're both in the driver's seat now, having a moment] Jimmy: [fully support that wherever you are rn] Jimmy: [telling her he's missed her in between kisses when he's capable of forming words that don't just come out as sounds, we've probably had to have a few attempts at it lol] Janis: [she's not going to be any better so don't you worry boy, probably just keep saying 'I' and 'you' and not finishing any sentences here] Jimmy: [it's a mood and we all know it, like he's been drinking from Ian's stash but not enough that we can run away with ourselves, he's already said a lot of feelsy shit here, we see you and your fave eye sir] Janis: [we've said a lot without saying it in a way that seems serious af but we know honey we know] Jimmy: [not even doing it deliberately so it hurts more when she runs away, the feels are just naturally high and things be progressing] Janis: [mhmm, damn you shit nan, why you gotta ruin it] Jimmy: [she can't, you'll get back to this lads and beyond it] Janis: [that's true] Janis: [for now, stay in this car as long as you wanna, then go back to the cali gaff and live your best life some more] Jimmy: [soz fam that they can't bear to be separated] Janis: [its lowkey a good thing anyway, you can take the car to work/back to Ian, at least she's at home, like we all know you'll take that] Jimmy: [we all just want you to be happy hen] Janis: [though we are suspish/triggered by you Jimothy, we're not wilding yet Jimmy: [soz about that Jimothy, Liam really did you dirty] Janis: [oh lads, the fact we'll never really know the truth of that whole situ] Jimmy: [we really did something there, I love us] Janis: [do you think anyone would watch the tapes before Libi? 'cos like Ali would wanna but wouldn't but I could make a case that Ruster MIGHT, which would be drama] Jimmy: [oooh yeah good point, I do like the idea of that drama because I am rude] Janis: ['cos they could still come away from it thinking he was just a stalker or whatever we want] Janis: [but it would potentially give some closure before Libi is old enough to watch and understand 'cos they'd clearly love each other] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, I definitely think there's a lot of potential there with what they could take away from viewing all those vids] Janis: [okay, noted for later honeybuns] Janis: [is there anything we wanna vibe for tonight] Jimmy: [I think we've done a lot and this is probably getting long] Janis: [coolio hun]

[blogocrap]

PLOT PART 2

Satan: however there is a 98% chance Up would have to arrest her after everything that goes down

Sam: It'd be carnage

Satan: Massive carnage

Satan: Em would straight up murder Narcis and her crew

Sam: 👍👍

Satan: not only that she'd burn the drug stashes

Satan: and destroy everything she could find

Satan: so that no one could take Narcis's place without many many years of work

Satan: They would see the monster that Narcis tried to train her to be and the sociopathic tendencies she got from her mother

Satan: and after the bloodbath

Satan: Up would have to arrest her at least temporarily after that

atan: is it awful I want this to happen

Sam: No cause same

Satan: I also really sort of want this to happen because I really want to finish Narcis because that will always sort of loom over her until she's done

Satan: *whispers* Em who makes a deal with Up so that he won't arrest her in front of February so Feb doesn't know until later or it happens in front of her anyways

Sam: Aw no

Satan: how pissed is Feb if it happens in front of her

Sam: She'd punch Up

Satan: Up would still have to arrest Em but he'd understand that

Sam: And tbh knowing Feb she'd be so angry that she'd forget which side was robotic and break her hand by punching it

Satan: yeah that would probably happen

Satan: and he would ask her if she's alright

Satan: and Em would probably just stay silent

Satan: because she knows literally anything she says will piss off Feb

Sam: Feb just throws all of her pacifist views out the window

Satan: I'm just imagining Feb trying to stop Up

Satan: and Up just keeps going

Satan: and Em is just cooperating because what she didn't tell Feb is that she and Up had a talk before it all went down and she was like

Satan: You're gonna see me do shit. A lot of really bad shit. You thought the forgery was bad but that is nothing compared to what you're going to see. If you have to arrest me do it, but wait until she's dead or February is out of sight

Satan: Out of curiosity do you think Pedro or Kray would be on the mission?

Satan: Em would be keeping it to a very tight crew who know what they're doing and are willing to listen to what she says and basically that would be up to both of them

Sam: Hmmm maybe - I feel like they'd both go if asked

Sam: Like if Up said it was okay to go and that he was going, then Kray would definitely go

Satan: She would probably call a small meeting with all the potentials (with Up already knowing) and give the offer before explaining the full deal to everyone who's on board

Sam: Yeah Kray would want to save Feb

Sam: Pedro might stay behind to keep an eye on everyone else who wasn't going tbh

Satan: Tootsie is an unlikely invite, as is Taz

Satan: Tootsie because bless his soul he doesn't know what he's doing

Sam: No he doesn't

Sam: Bless

Satan: Taz because she doesn't play well with others and while an asset would not listen to Em

Satan: Em would let her do her own thing if she didn't know exactly how Narcis operates

Satan: and Taz's way would get Feb killed

Satan: and probably at least one team member maybe two

Sam: Yeah

Sam: I take it Feb would be getting tortured

Satan: That is debatable

Satan: depends oh how useful she is and if Narcis realizes what Feb means to Em

Sam: Fair enough

Satan: It's also up to you

Sam: Idm

Satan: do you want bruises and scratches or do you want debilitating injuries that will alter the course of Feb's whole life

Sam: Either

Sam: I really don't mind lol

Satan: that is up to you babe because when I say debilitating

Satan: I mean severing the spinal cord so that Feb never walks again. She might lose an eye. Bad contusions, intense blood loss,

Sam: I seriously have no strong opinions about which way to go

Satan: Well then we can see where it goes then

Sam: XD

Satan: any hard limits I should keep in mind?

Sam: Just don't kill her tbh

Satan: do you want her to be able to stay a doctor?

Sam: Eh idc

Satan: because I need to know if I should rule out certain injuries

Sam: Honestly idm

Sam: I really do not care as long as she's alive at the end of it

Satan: I can work with that

Satan: I also realized

Satan: Em has a lot of warrants out on her

Satan: like not under any name

Satan: just she's committed so many horrible crimes and she's going to admit to a lot of them and that's why Up has to arrest her

Satan: poor Junior though if she's tossed in the cell next to his. or god forbid is made his cell mate

Sam: Pffft

Satan: Would Feb ask to talk to Em after she's arrested

Sam: Not at first

Sam: First she'd be too numb and confused to do much of anything

Sam: Especially if she was really badly injured

Sam: But eventually she would

Satan: that's when Em would tell her everything

Satan: She would lay the cards on the table because she has nothing left to lose

Satan: and would have no fucking idea that Up is working to try to get her a pardon

Sam: Feb would be silent through it all and just say "you should have just told me before." And then leave

Satan: Em would just fucking implode right then and there she'll have been stoic and quiet through everything

Satan: until that moment

Satan: mOTHERFUCKER

Satan: TOOTSIE WAS GONNA PROPOSE TO EM AT THE ACADEMY BUT NEVER HAD THE RIGHT CHANCE

Satan: and he's gonna tell her too when he comes to visit her

Satan: and he's gonna leave her too

Satan: the worst part is that she wouldn't even tell Feb or Tootsie that she's staring down a death sentence

Sam: Omg no

Satan: about tootsie or the death sentence

Sam: Both

Satan: here's the kicker

Satan: if sentenced she would be sentenced to death

Satan: but the only reason why that and not years-life

Satan: is because of all the people she killed to save feb

Satan: and a little extra pain

Satan: after the pardon goes through, if Tootsie or Feb tries to apologize or talk to her she only has one thing to say

Satan: 'fuck you'

Sam: I like that we've just ruined Feb and Em's friendship

Satan: we have and it hurts me

Sam: Like Feb stops being able to trust Em after she refused to say anything about why someone was trying to kill her

Satan: Em's defense on that is actually pretty good

Satan: I didn't want you to do something stupid. Like getting involved.

Satan: and look what happened when you got involved anyways

Satan: Em post pardon is so fucking hurt

Satan: In her eyes what Feb and Tootsie did is worse to her than what Narcis did

Sam: Yeah Feb would have done something regardless of whether Em said anything or not

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: So, campus bars Ava: Avoid entirely or cheap enough to make the cringe worth it? 🤔🤔 James: use your student loans wisely enough that cheap is avoided entirely Ava: Ugh 😏 I thought you'd give real advice if I got you off the clock James: go with your gut, option 1 James: you're not striking me as someone to base their social life around KCLSU's quiz night Ava: I love trivia like I love cheap white wine spritzers and school spirit James: knew you'd fit right in Ava: Can I put that resounding endorsement on my application then, James? James: it'll carry more weight if you accidentally add the I when you write my name James: but I didn't say that James: slip of the pen, that's all Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: There's plenty of time to meet him and double up on kudos James: I hear the girl's hazing rituals are savage James: stand you in good stead that will Ava: No one is scarier than a high school girl Ava: Nor as petty and sadistic Ava: I think I'll survive James: they've toned it down since that girl had a mental episode post head shave James: sure you will Ava: Very chic Ava: Do you wait 'til the UCAS app has gone through to drop the horror stories usually or are you really bad at this whole recruitment thing on purpose? James: it's my 1st time playing tour guide James: potentially I'm less than cut out for it Ava: I won't lodge a formal complaint Ava: Unless you're turning over DMs as feedback, in which case, awkward James: I won't be, some girls think I have more sway than I really do James: awkward indeed Ava: God Ava: Not even my first choice Ava: Though makes you wonder how effective attaching nudes to your cover letter would be James: they'd have to take that on a case by case basis Ava: 🤞 that you don't get the one token woman on the panel James: not your 1st choice, no need to cross anything Ava: Hypothetically, James II Ava: Why was it yours, then? Ava: Student life evidently not being it James: it was my only James: it's gonna end up being Teddy's too Ava: He hasn't turned up to business studies in time Ava: But slip of the pen, I get you James: my older sister got all the brains and none of the sense of fun Ava: Know the sort Ava: Bet I still likes you better though James: I wouldn't go that far Ava: Too far for a taster sesh Ava: Understood Ava: Don't suppose you'll point me in the direction of where you actually hang now then? James: I suppose I could Ava: Please Ava: Bored is an understatement Ava: I'll still show up all present and correct for the debrief thing tomorrow James: it's such a good thing here isn't your 1st choice Ava: You should give me the real tour Ava: I'll keep my lips sealed James: can't I get another please before you do? Ava: Please do not invite your brother Ava: He got us kicked out of Mahiki last month it was so tragic James: he's a disgrace Ava: Most of them are James: I don't associate with anyone who still goes to Mahiki regularly Ava: It's pretty played out James: if they'll let Teddy in they're getting desperate Ava: 😂 awh James: you ready now? Ava: Already out Ava: Figured you better pick me up from The Vault Ava: Consider it a mini hazing of my own James: keep your lips sealed that I'm going within 100 yards of the place and sure Ava: Don't worry Ava: The others are at the cinema or something equally as lame the school put on for our 'overnight entertainment' Ava: I'm sick Ava: No selfies James: the hangover'll make it look & feel convincing Ava: That's a promise you can put your wallet behind Ava: I am a guest James: you don't want put your fake ID on the line either Ava: Bold of you to assume I've ever needed to buy my own drinks 😏 Ava: I didn't bring it alright, shut up James: you don't need it, I'm only playing Ava: 😾 James: how many drinks has my brother bought you? Of course I need to 1 up him Ava: Total? Ava: Not as much as he'd like but lots Ava: Not trying to milk this sibling rivalry or anything, have known him ages Ava: Well before Mahiki would let him in, like James: hardly a rivalry, you know him well enough to realise Ava: True Ava: You do what feels right and I'll let you know by the end of the night then James: very straightforward James: I like it Ava: You don't know me well enough yet but that's par for the course James: I knew your brother for years & I didn't know him James: we'd need more than an evening Ava: I'm as comparable to my brother as you are to yours Ava: Probably James: show me, I'll show you Ava: Deal Ava: But we will need more than an evening Ava: to make it fair James: you can have until you're bored Ava: You'll want longer when you aren't anymore James: I'm used to things not lasting as long as I want Ava: I'm not your average Ava: You'll see James: bold of you to assume I've ever settled for average Ava: I didn't say THE average James: I heard you say my average Ava: No need to be offended by better, is there? James: bemused at most Ava: You're welcome Ava: but you are meant to be entertaining me, not the other way 'round James: you brought up fairness James: & it's a good point Ava: How do you propose we make it fair then? James: I entertain you tonight, you entertain me whenever you've thought of your own tour worth taking me on Ava: That's actually a good idea Ava: and entirely fair James: Teddy'll cost my dad more to secure his place than I did, I've got some brains on board Ava: No doubt Ava: Gave his name to the right kid, clearly James: My sister was undoubtedly relieved James: though Diana has its own pitfalls Ava: 😬 The jokes write themselves James: they do Ava: Perks of having a relatively untouched name James: it does suit her, she's very much a martyr Ava: Did you do an English degree? Ava: You're good at painting a picture with words Ava: See 👸 so clearly James: sadly not James: maybe I'll go back & do it if I ever finish the current one Ava: Student forever vibes Ava: Fuck real life James: then again, being the kind of dad who drops their kid off for classes & pulls up his own chair at the table doesn't sound like a great idea Ava: Just make sure its not their first choice, yeah? James: oldest's already smarter than me James: won't be a problem Ava: There you go then James: where's yours? Ava: Currently undecided Ava: It's more a case of sorting the 2-5 James: & how's that going? James: this place being a solid 5th Ava: Its been a solid mix of fun and boring working it out Ava: Better than another night in Mahiki at any rate Ava: I'll have to decide eventually but even my mum can't demand I do quite yet James: don't over complicate it James: they're not all that different James: I've got friends studying all over the map and they're still basically doing the same things I am Ava: See, that's what I figured Ava: But try telling that to a woman who was Cambridge or bust Ava: It's more about the vibe of the place, the people, the ethos and the lecturers not being the worst stereotypes of boring/creep Ava: again, if I tell her vibe is on my criteria she'd actually kill me before I could apply anywhere so 🤷 James: your secret's safe with me James: even if our mothers were friends, mine is currently not speaking to me Ava: How's that? James: it's something I'm fairly used to James: she's not a big talker James: more of a fan of a dismissive hand gesture Ava: Gotcha Ava: Not a whole lot to miss James: she's got lots to say about my parenting style but who hasn't Ava: Shame you don't talk to my brother now James: I don't suppose he sees it as a shame Ava: Probably not Ava: He's not one for regrets James: me either James: it's why we started out friends Ava: Feels like ages ago Ava: Since he still lived here James: it kind of is James: he left before he left Ava: It's complicated James: it's not my business Ava: Not mine either so Ava: Whatever James: car's here James: are you going to make me get out for you? Ava: You're meant to come in here Ava: Don't you trust I can keep my lips sealed? James: I don't trust it to be entertaining in there James: hence it's not part of the tour Ava: Please James: Oh Ava James: [but does come in we all know he would] Ava: [clearly making him stay for a drink and play pool or something in this student ass bar] James: [when you're whipped for someone you're not even dating lol] Ava: [When Chloe is your missus] James: [to be a fly on the wall in their relationship tbh literally imagine] Ava: [oh lordy how you have not been missed girl] James: [at least the new kid is young enough she can dress it up still and it can't talk back so she can pretend she gives a shit and isn't blowing his phone up rn] Ava: [in full show-off-to-all-my-friends mode still, somehow still has some lol] James: [lord when you don't even like and comment on pics of your own child anymore though bye do not approve of your aesthetic choices Chlo] Ava: [so awkward, when you only get a look in for the boring/hard bits] James: [basically just get to parent Jay cos she's well over that] Ava: [poor James tbh] James: [have your fun now lad I don't blame you even though everyone else will] Ava: [lord people gonna be SO mad] James: [how far we gonna take this during the tour cos obvs flirty vibes been flying about but like he can't just jump her cos married and she's younger] Ava: [she fully initiated this whole thing lbr but maybe don't sleep with him yet babe as you are aware he's married and has kids so like, some thought even though you young and reckless that, he could always stop it at a makeout 'cos then how embarrassing for her and she'd have to leave it for a bit like what was I doing, angst etc] James: [I vibe with that cos they are gonna be drinking a lot as the night goes on so that'd make both of them give less of a shit about the consequences but because the night is going on eventually chlo is gonna be like are you coming home ever because I like to think he hasn't cheated since she got pregnant with this kid and has actually been trying even though he's miserable af clearly] James: [like maybe it was really bad before and he was actually gonna leave her so she was like simply must trap him and did] Ava: [v much a her move I support it] James: [yeah cos she's invested this much time into him she's not just gonna let him go easily] Ava: [when you have no idea what you've signed yourself up for here babe] James: [I'm rooting for them rn cos nobody else is and I'm 100% that bitch, must not get invested yet when we've only just begun] Ava: [same tho so whoops] James: [he'd be so into it though too we all know that makeout would be 💣🔥] Ava: [hence breaking it off would be hard af, Chloe gotta be blowing his shit up to the degree he thinks maybe one of the kids is hurt lol] James: [literally Chloe is the teenage girl in this situation, girl chill out] Ava: [I'd feel bad if you hadn't also cheated loads and trapped him in this sham life soooo, grant you idk how much Ava knows of that rn but she'd clearly have a rep] James: [yeah I feel like Ava would be knowing some shit cos same circles and Chlo ain't slick plus like he's gonna eventually tell her cos god knows he needs someone to talk to] Ava: [we will get there boy] James: [at least it'll be less awks for her cos it'll be obvious that he didn't wanna break shit off and how hard it was to do] Ava: [there was obvs a vibe to pursue in the first place, still tomorrow morning lmao] James: [he'd so go too hard pretending she doesn't exist like nobody's picked up on the vibe and it ain't obvious okay boy] Ava: [I hope there's some other drama gone down on this little excursion so yous can fly under the radar, someone hold hands at the cinema lol] James: [shit like that always happens don't worry you two] Ava: [thank God for teenage shenanigans when you out here homewrecking on the low] James: [you should do some Chlo texts at me for the lols even if I don't reply cos busy lol]