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mmvalentine · 3 years

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What Cardan Knows | Jurdan

Canon compliant I suppose, just more post-QoN nonsense. Smut aplenty.

Cardan knows a secret about Jude.

Knows she likes to be kissed right between the shoulder blades.

Knows that if you move your lips on the vertebra that sticks out at the base of her neck, she melts like chocolate in the summer sun.

Jude has spent today, like many days, sitting on her throne like she was born there. There is something so natural in the way that she rules the fae that never came quite so easy to Cardan. He feels more comfortable next to her now than he ever thought he would. Still. He does not think he relishes the power like Jude does.

And of course Jude looks spectacular while she does it. Cardan reclines in his own throne, throwing one leg over an armrest and letting his head fall back against the back. He watches Jude, straight backed and imperious, as she hands down stern judgement for a faerie who stole a human child. She had outlawed changelings since she has been Queen, and although the folk do not like it, they abide by her word.

Cardan finds it sexy that the court is still a little afraid of Jude. Cardan finds it sexy that this sharp and unyielding ruler is his alone to unravel. Later.

Jude does not like anyone to know that she can be tender. Even now, years after she’s gained the loyalty of her court, she avoids being vulnerable. Puts on her armour every morning to meet her subjects, her advisors, and even her sisters. Oak might be an exception. And Cardan, when he knows where to fit his myriad keys.

These are not things Jude has ever told him out loud. Not even to her husband would she confess the chinks in her armour aloud. But Cardan knows anyway. Knows the secret places she keeps her softness, and delights in uncovering them when they are alone in the safety of the dark of their bedroom. Only when she is sure no one is looking does she bare her underbelly to him and let him press toothy kisses there. Cardan loves when Jude is ruthless. Cardan loves when Jude is soft.

Now Jude is sending the faerie away and the fae dislike her changing the rules. But she hands out cruelty like treats in the throne room and so they still adore her. A good public punishing is as good as trading babies. There is a hard glint in Jude’s eye as she watches him go, and then she flicks her wrist and the revelry begins once again. It’s all so simple. She looks out at the crowd with a cold boredom on her face, but Cardan knows she’s riding a high from watching her own orders executed. He also knows it turns her on like nothing else.

And so Cardan pushes himself up off his bramble throne, leans over to his wife with his back to the court, and murmurs, “take your leave my Queen, for I have business with you elsewhere.”

Jude’s lip curls when she answers, and her voice trickles like ice water over his skin. “I do not attend your bidding my Lord, I would stay to see the end of the revel.”

“Nevertheless,” Cardan says, and his fingers slide down her wrist to read her telltale pulse. “I have business with you elsewhere.”

And although Jude does delight in denying her husband, she rarely denies herself. So she rises smoothly while Cardan watches with one eyebrow raised, and allows him to take her hand and lead her into the alcove behind the throne room.

Cardan shuts the door and the noise outside suddenly chokes off. He turns and Jude is staring at him with her chin up in her regal golden gown, and she is resplendent.

“Well?” She demands. “What is it you wish to discuss so urgently?”

“First,” Cardan purrs, “I mean this to be an informal meeting, since you and I are wed and need not stand on ceremony. Let me remove your formal attire.” He walks behind her and Jude’s head turns, but she doesn’t otherwise move. Cardan’s movements are careful as he removes the heavy crown from Jude’s head; he has had his fingers bitten for this before.

But Jude does not react, so he goes for the heavy collar of gold plates she wears, unhooking the clasp and lifting it carefully from her shoulders. Next is the fastening in the back of her bodice, and even as she is undressed Jude’s spine remains as straight as the sword at her hip.

There have been times where she fucks him just like that. With steel in her eyes and Cardan’s throat between her fingers, when she holds him down with her thighs and draws his rapture from his lips like she can summon his very soul.

But today Cardan wants to pull at Jude’s threads and unspool her at his feet. So he stands behind her, and kisses her like feathers in that secret spot of hers. In between her scapulae. Traveling up toward the bones of her neck. And infinitesimally, Jude’s shoulders loosen beneath his touch.

Cardan smiles against her skin as his fingers skim the outside edge of her bare arms, and she leans her head back toward him so his lips can better reach her throat. When her eyes slide closed, Cardan pulls the tie of her skirt and it pools around her feet. He lifts her out of it and by the time her weight is in his arms, Jude is pliant against his chest.

Cardan lays Jude down on the low couch, and in the moment between kisses where his tongue lifts off her skin and his teeth touch down elsewhere, he whispers honeyed pet-names to her. "Ruthless," he calls her sweetly. He moves down her belly. "Unscrupulous. Uncompromising. Without mercy. Immovable."

At the last, he curls his tongue in the apex of her thighs, and Jude lifts her hips to his mouth with a soft cry. She is not immovable, and he knows it. His tail wraps around her ankle as her leg tries to jerk upward, and holds it in place. Cardan moves lazily, breathes steadily against the Queen and relishes in her slow undoing.

"Cardan," she whispers, and he hums with his lips on her pussy.

In fact, the real secret that Cardan knows is that Jude is not any of the things he calls her, and despite the way fae crave wickedness like opium, it is the very heart of Jude that he loves the most.

"Will you punish me, too?" Cardan asks her. His face moves up her body but one of his fingers replace his tongue inside her and Jude is not able to answer him. "If I confess my sins to you will you hand down my own judgement?"

"Did you steal any children away?" Jude manages to ask him, but her breathing is coming in short pants and her voice is strained.

"No," Cardan laments. "Although I think I would enjoy having a pet."

Jude's eyes flash, but Cardan makes one finger two and her words don't make it out.

"My sins," Cardan tells her, and then leans close to admit it in her ear while his hand speeds up between her legs. "are so numerous as to be unforgivable." He even sounds a little sad, and Jude's eyes open.

"There is always mercy," she breathes.

"Then forgive me, my saint," Cardan says, and then twists his fingers and presses down on her clit at the same time, so Jude climaxes suddenly and unexpectedly. Her lovely brown eyes widen in surprise and her lips part in bliss, and before she has come all the way down Cardan removes his fingers and slides his cock into her even as she shudders and spasms.

Cardan barely moves before Jude is coming again, and the waves of it around him are exquisitely divine. He moans his pleasure as he sinks into her again and again, and revels in the Queen laid bare. His hips kiss hers and it is in this space he finds his absolution daily. For as hard and uncaring as Jude is not, so is Cardan secretly not so unaffected or shameless as he makes out to be.

And as Jude wraps her legs around his waist, and her hands around the back of his neck pull his forehead down to hers, he wonders if this is what Jude knows, too.

Cardan moves his lips against Jude's neck and the increasingly irregular rhythm of his hips matches the erratic beating of his heart, and when Jude's teeth bite into his throat as if to suckle at his lifeblood, he comes hard buried deep inside her.

Minutes later, the King and Queen of Elfhame are still tangled together on the couch. Jude's head is on Cardan's chest and he has the sharp claw tip of a fingernail circling against her shoulder. A faint bruise is blooming on his throat, and the tip of his tail is brushing against her elbow.

"Shall we return you to the revel, my love?" Cardan asks her. Jude looks at him, then stands fluidly and holds her chin up and her arms out.

"Dress me, husband," she commands, and Cardan picks up her clothes off the floor and puts everything back on. Piece by piece, layer by layer, fingers meticulous. Pinning her hair and fastening the scabbard by her waist. Jude is still like a mannequin, and when he is done she lowers her arms and sweeps out of the room without a backward glance.

Cardan straightens his own clothes, plonks his crown back on his head and then saunters back out to the thrown room. Jude is already being offered a selection of the fattest, sweetest grapes and she spears them with a fine dagger before she puts them to her kiss-swollen lips. And when she drags the knife point back out of her mouth, he doesn't know whether he'd rather be the blade or the fruit.

Either way, he is more than content to spend the rest of the night watching Jude rule the fae with an iron fist, as his kisses fade on her skin.

****

Sorry that was so curly! When I started writing Jurdan I just thought I would write these snarly, snappy creatures but it turns out I'm just a sucker for them shedding their skins when they're alone. Also, I planned on writing hardcore smut and all that came out was... intense feels? What is happening?

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @asteria-of-mars @swankii-art-teacher @loosingdreams @feysand-loml @cityofbookish

*NOTE* I have two entirely separate masterlists/ taglists for my feysand and jurdan stuff!! Hope this makes it all easy to navigate!

#jurdan #jurdan fic #smut #mine

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damntender · 4 years

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BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE . okay, first off I JUST HIT 100 FOLLOWERS after a matter of like 6 days... how??? ---- though i’m completely unsure why people stick around, or love me or even want to roleplay with my trash ass. i’ve not had an easy time with some horrendous experiences in this community and i wanted to give some love to the people that keep me staying, because all i wanna do is yell about them all the time. azalea has been a crutch to me in the hardest times of my life, i created her after the loss of my grampa and all my anguish and pain went into trying to do something positive, and with the amount of loss in my life, it was nice to do something beneficial. and i look back to creating her, and meeting all these incredible individuals along the way, and it’s honestly a blessing. i wasn’t going to bring her back, but the response i’ve had, the love, the hype has honestly melted my heart and i could never ever thank anyone enough for that. but here, have me shouting about my love for you all in a post <333

IF I MISS ANYONE, I’M TRULY SORRY. IT’S MY ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER FUCKING ME OVER. but i love you all <3333

so some special mentions ( or a lot bc i can’t CHOOSE ), these are people i talk to regularly, that i consider my best, and closest friends on this hellsite. you don’t know how much impact you’ve had on my life, but i have to let you know. they are in NO particular order, just the list i’ve written down on my notebook, because i have add and it’s a fucking party in my brain lmao. :)))

@damncockroach / @damnbrazen ----- becks, my love, my aNGEL, my bestie. you don’t even need me to say how much you mean to me, or how much i love you because i try to make sure i remind you constantly. you came into my life in a time that i really fucking needed someone, someone to show me what true best friends are, to pick me up, to be there and just ??? never leave. someone i can count on constantly, and you’re always willing to help me. to shower me with hype and love, and i’ve lost count how many times i’ve cried down the phone to you and you’ve calmed me down, and given the best advice, or made me feel valid in my emotions. you don’t know the impact you have on people becks, you’re honestly one of the best people i’ve met in my entire life. i know they say you get soul mates in forms of best friends, and i truly believe you’re mine. you’ve been there for me through some of the most horrendous times in my entire life, and you stood by me and that in itself deserves a medal. i love you more than words could ever possibly express, and i count myself extremely lucky to call you my best friend, i honestly appreciate you so much. you just get me, we can communicate in person with just looks, and that proves our bond tbh. you’re my rock. getting to know you, to know you out of writing and exist in a writing world with you is incredibly special, and like you said in your original tags: in fantasy and reality, till death do us part. i don’t think i’ve ever had a friend who is so selfless, so down to earth, and so compassionate and puts people before themselves until you. i’ll always be here to remind you what a BABE you are, how incredibly vital you are to not only me but to this world. your one of the good ones. and your talent?? is fucking astounding, i get to be inspired by you and write with you and just learn from your insane gift, because you breathe life into words. you gift me with replies, with characters and i scream over them forever, and i can’t even say how in awe i am of you. the love and depth you put into crafting your ocs, or putting them into canons too, just is crazy, and i will never stop yelling about you. you deserve all the hype, both in the roleplay world and the real world. five years of friendship aNGEL !!!! i can’t wait for us to be besties when we’re 80 and can bitch about people still. what i’m trying to say is, you’ve saved my life, more times than you know, and i wouldn’t still be breathing without you. i owe you a load for that, and i love you endlessly, more than words could ever capture. you make this rpc worth being in, because with you beside me, i can face anything. i love you bubba, so much. i’m so proud of the person you’ve become, who you are, you’re a diamond and i am blessed to know you. keep being your kickass self <3333

@damnbrutal / @fearmer / @phoenique ----- lunaaa , my love , the sweetest of angels. my lil norwegian babe !!!! is there even words to sum you up either??? let me start by saying how i can’t encapsulate how sweet you are, you’re like sunshine personified. literally, the brightest light and you deserve the fucking world, honestly. meeting you was always meant to be, i truly believe that, and i can’t ever say how much i love you. you have been there to capture me when i fall, to offer insane words of wisdom that comfort me, to bless me with your presence when i’m breaking over voice chat. when my grampa was dying, or had died, you were the biggest comfort, you have no idea how much your presence, your pure heart helped me out of such a horrendous place. you got how i was feeling, you were sensitive to the subject, and careful and you put your heart and soul into bringing me into a lighter place. i can’t even express how much i’m gonna give you a MASSIVE squeeze when we see each other finally!!!! you are one of the best human beings i’ve ever met, just the most down to earth, so pure, so willing to help others, and i can’t ever thank you or yell about you enough. you give such a HUGE amount to your friends, you’re always there to lend a ear, to offer us support across the ocean, and i truly can’t even express how much that means. you’re a fucking diamond, okay??? let’s get yelling about your talent, your creativity will forever astound me. from your writing to your graphics, you’re truly fucking gifted, and i’ve learned so much off you. you’re a fucking inspiration in itself. you’ve always shown me that i have the strength to overpower such negative forces in my life, and keep going, and i can’t ever thank you enough for that honestly, like i don’t think words will ever be as sufficient enough. you’ve put such love into your original characters, like mazia owns my aSS you know this, she is so fucking important to not only azalea but to me. because you blessed me with this incredibly creative and in depth crafted character and i love her like she’s my own character. you can truly see how much you love writing her, and the craft and everything and i truly believe you’re one of the best writers on this site. our babies and their bond make me SOB, like they hit me right in the heart and i still weep over how mazia comes down to find out her best friend, her soul mate is gone. they have a bond that WE have, we bled that into them, i can see that so clearly, like you’re my person. and i adore u <333 let’s not forget about the love of theo’s life either, odETTE. he adores her. god i get emo just thinking about them, and every single one of our babies. it’s INSANE to me that someone who lives across the world can mean more to me than the majority of the friends i’ve known in real life. you’re just SO important to me. i just love you a whole lot, words won’t ever capture it, and i appreciate you, i’m so grateful. thank u for being u. <3333

@hewolf ------- ANI, the loml. while we haven’t wrote on here, it didn’t feel right NOT including you, because you’ve been in my life since day one of roleplay. like when i look back for a constant in my life, there you are, making me laugh and being your INSANE, and down to earth self. god, how am i ever supposed to put into words just how much i love you?? like you know it knows NO bounds. i don’t think there’s a person other than family for me who’s been there for me through everything in my life, from start to finish of all the bullshit i’ve been through, other than you. you were there when i got my heart broken for the first time, when i lost my gran, grampa and my other grampa, when i had a miscarriage, you have been there and picked me up when i felt like i didn’t wanna be here anymore. and you did it like it was NOTHING, like it was easy, and i’m so inspired by you as a person. by your strength, and you’re honestly the most hilarious person i’ve ever met. like i can’t say how much i look forward to your snapchats every day, how much they make me smile and laugh, especially in our current predicament of the pandemic. you’re a true joy, and you’ve been there to support me always. can you believe we’ve been besties for ten years next year???? like it’s crazy to me. i just know that you’re someone i’m gonna have in my life forever, and i don’t ever want to NOT have you around. i know lately you’ve had the WORST time, and i can relate to it, all i wanna do is be there as best i can, and it’s hard with shit going on, i wish i could drive up to you and just give you a squeeze and try and take your mind off it all. but i can’t. and that sucks !!!! god, do you remember where we started???? facebook fuckin roleplay??? i cringe at the thought but they are times i truly hold dear to my heart, because i look at the development we’ve both had over the years as writers, though you’ve ALWAYS been an incredible writer. i look back at myself and i’m like?? who fuckin let her write??? you’re the reason i joined tumblr roleplay, like you dragged my ass to it, and it’s insane how long it’s been, how much my life has changed. you’re so down to earth, and out of everyone i’ve met on this hell site, and in life in general, you’re one of the most REAL individuals i’ve met and it’s so inspiring??? you’re just so eloquent in your writing and you should have MORE FAITH in yourself because bubby you’re so talented. i adore you so much, words will never capture it. i know that i can legit just ring you like i have previous, crying down the phone and you’ll be there. you’ve helped me through so much and i value you so much, you’re a diamond, one of the best individuals i’ve met. you deserve the WORLD, all the happiness, because you are a fucking light, you’re one of the good ones in life. i love you bubby <33333

@racointeur ----- BEE, my baby, one of the best friends i’ve ever had. god, where do i start with you ??? without choking up because that’s gonna be hard. let me first start by saying, i’m so proud of you, so proud of your strength, because you’ve been through some of the hardest shit as of late and i wish more than anything i could be there to cuddle you, to support you better than i could here. no one ever deserves what you’ve been through, but ESPECIALLY NOT you, you are the kindest person with the BIGGEST heart of gold. all you do for others, is so clear to see, because you’ve always put people before yourself and it truly shows how GOOD of a person you are. you came into my life when i needed someone too, we bonded instantly over shadowhunters and our love for our babies jace / izzy, and instantly a bond came and i can’t ever explain how vital you are to me now. days could pass or even weeks, and when we talk?? it’s like no time has passed. there’s never any obligation or anger if we both fall off the grid. you KNOW how important our friendship is to me. you’re one of my fave individuals to write with. we’ve facetimed crying over the hardships of life, or even laughed until our sides hurt, i remember that one night when we spoke about simon biting izzy and how we were howling with laughter. it’s a memory that legit sticks in my mind, and makes me all warm and fuzzy. in this life, i’ve realised you’ve gotta stay close to the people who feel like sunlight, the truly GOOD people and you’re one of them. i know i can always message you, WITH any issue, or just to yell about our babies and you’ll be accepting and that in itself shows how deep our friendship goes, you’re so accepting, so supportive and i just love you more than words. your writing is something i admire so much, you’re so talented, so eloquent and i just ??? aspire to be that gifted okay, you can see your love for each and every character in your threads and i think EVERYONE should go love on you, because you deserve the hype, and the love the most. you’ve helped me down from ledges where i legit didn’t want to live anymore, you’ve put up with my bullshit and i can NEVER thank u enough for that. here we are THREE years almost four years later, still stuck to each other like glue bc u bet i’m not letting you GO at all, and still best friends. i admire you so much, i learn so much from you from your strength and i don’t think i could ever say enough what you mean to me. you’re just purely talented, an incredible individual and i can’t wait to meet you when this shit is all over and i’m finished with uni so i can fly out to see you and give you a MASSIVE squeeze. you’re one of my fave individuals ever in life and i just adore you so so so much. i love you bee. you’re honestly world class, and just a joy to know. <33333

@lethaelite ------ MANDI , you superhuman babe !!!!! gosh, i love you endlessly, i can’t even begin to express, but it feels like we’ve been friends forever and i honestly can’t imagine a time without you in my life and i ???? don’t want to. you’re one of the most intelligent individuals i’ve ever met, like you can see it so much in your writing, you put so much into the characters. like clarke???? i accept nO other portrayal than yours, because you just know her so much, at this point?? she’s your oc. i love writing with her, and with octavia too, like octavia’s relationship with azalea is so important and it melts me, i just can’t help but get soft over them all the time. how azalea has broken down o’s walls. how they’re ride or die, all of it is fucking adorable. and SUCH development. i’m so glad becks dragged ur ass to tumblr so you can showcase your talent, everyone needs to KNOW how gifted you are!!!! let’s circle back to your talent, let’s talk about you. you’re a diamond okay? a pure selfless individual with the biggest heart, and i’m so blessed to get to know you, to be able to call you one of my best friends, and you’ve embraced me as a person, as a writer since we’ve met, and i can’t ever thank you enough for that. you’ve listened to me yell about some of the hardest times of my life, you’ve listened and understood and kept it to yourself and it means everything and more to me. let’s not FORGET that you’re a fierce badass individual, you’re so strong and i’m so proud of all you’ve battled through, because i get to learn from your experience and guidance and words. i look up to you SO much, i wish i had your outlook on life, like i wish i had your strength because it’s incredible bubba. honestly!!! you don’t realise the impact you’ve had either, you have helped me through so much. you’re kind, down to earth, and charismatic and hilarious and just a fucking joy to have around. i can’t wait for you to come over here, because honestly we’re gonna have some insane memories to look back on, and you deserve that break and a new surrounding more than anyone honestly. i just can’t ever yell about you enough, you’re beyond talented, you have the BIGGEST heart and you’re one of the good ones in a world of bad. i can’t wait for all the threads we get to do, all the character development and everything. i know i can throw anything at you thread wise and you’ll be down for it, i love how much you YELL about threads and the reactions, because it truly shows me your excitement!! i just adore you so much and i can’t ever thank you for being you, for impacting my life how you have, and i’m thankful and appreciative to get you to be in my life. i LOVE you <3333

@damnpain / @armyranger ------ VIC ------- god where do i begin with you ???? i used to ALWAYS fangirl over you, like i would be heart eyes at your blogs from far away because i was always terrified to approach because your level of talent fucking astounds me. like you honestly have no clue how much i look up to you as a person, you honestly are another whole level of talent. and now i’ve gotten to know you, and you’ve quickly become one of my best friends because you have the sweetest fucking heart, you honestly make being on tumblr a pleasure, and your incredibly soft and kind heart is something i’m so thankful to get to witness. we’ve bonded over our own hardships both irl and in the community and it’s nice having someone who GETS it, who understands exactly where i’m coming from, it’s nice to know i’m not alone. you’re like my very own hand to hold, and i value you so fucking much honestly. you’re honestly a sweetheart, and you deserve the literal WORLD. you make me laugh so much, and you are so welcoming and knowing i can just yell at you about our babies, really makes my day and i’m so thankful you get as excited as i do. apollo literally OWNS my ass, you’ve put your entire heart into him and he is so important to azalea, so vital to her and i can’t wait to develop them and their relationship more because it’s something i’m so excited about. god don’t get me started on how HEARTBREAKING his story is, his backstory makes me well up with tears, poor baby deserves such a break, he’s the cutest angel, and i love him. as i love ALL of your ocs, you know this. i’m always gonna be here to hype you up, because you’re just outstanding, a true fucking icon. i remember how much you inspired me from when i saw your max blog so getting to call you one of my best friends now is !!!! amazing to me, but also, you’ve calmed me down when i’m spiralling, listened to my problems and issues and been happy to deal with them and it just shows how much of a selfless person you are. you are always more than happy to help, and i love you endlessly and more. and i’m so thankful we found each other even in the wake of all the shit i’ve been through lately, because you’ve become a rock to me, i adore you so much, your incredible nature, sweet and welcoming and i know i can talk to you about everything. thank you for being your amazing, sweet, and truly extraordinary self, because you honestly DESERVE the world, all the happiness and stuff. i know i’ve found another best friend for life in you, you’re an angel. i love love love you vic, keep being YOU, because you’re just out of this world, a true good person. A DIAMOND <333333

@tragedyhymns / @damnbrain ------ SUN !!!! my sweet angel, god how do i even begin to describe you or put into words my love for you ???? everytime i talk to you, you make my heart swell because you’re just so fucking sweet. you’re beyond considerate and just one of the nicest individuals i’ve ever met in this hellish community. you’ve been nothing but a support to me, and i don’t ever want us to part. i’ve kept you close from the moment we met in the shadowhunters fandom over three years ago now, and i’m sorry to say but you’re not getting away from me, ever. i just adore you with my entire heart. i’m so proud of the person you are , i’m so proud that i GET to call you a best friend of mine . let me say i’m SO fucking proud of you for kicking ass with your education , like even when it feels like everything is getting too much and you’re having so much going on ooc??? you power through like the WARRIOR you are, and i’m beaming with pride over you. because honestly, if there’s anyone who deserves to succeed in life??? it’s you. your talent is astounding, we’ll come to your writing, but your GRAPHICS???? like you’re an ASSET to that career you’re going to have. you’re going to have such an insane career, i am always taken aback by what you can make and create, like share some of that talent pls. never LET anyone bring you down. you’re truly fucking remarkable. i also have to commend your writing talent, because you bring characters to life with such a love, such a depth and admiration that i am always in awe of you. matty and cris are by far my favorite babies, like matty is so vital to azalea and the story we have created for them is one of my favourites, like it is so IMPORTANT to me, i can’t even thank you enough for it. i also have to yell about how much you took on by creating ash, and making him your own, and i love being affiliated with you. you’re so eloquent, so in depth and so talented, you bleed EVERYTHING into your writing and graphics and it shows. you’re a treasure. you mean everything and more to me, you’re just a fucking angel, i love you. you’re a light —- i appreciate you so much and i won’t ever be able to thank you for that . you’ve made me smile on the most horrific of days , you’ve been there to listen when things are falling apart . you’ve been there through a lot, and i love you endlessly. just know how important you are to me, i will forever be here to rave about you as a person, your talent. never leave me o k ?? because i’ll actually fucking cry because you mean so much to me!!!! never forget how loved , how incredible you are , and how much we all STAN you i love you, you fucking cutie. <3333

@damnsamurai / @iswarholy / @skailante ----- ZAWN !!!!! god,,, i love YOU. i have gotten the opportunity to have you in my life for the past three years and even though we lost touch??? it’s like no TIME has passed, because you’ve embraced me, thrown nothing but love at me and just been a fucking angel. you’re one of the good ones on this site, like we reconnected and within like three days i had made an oc to be affiliated with yours because i fucking ADORE you. my opinion of you since we first met, hasn’t changed. i thought you were truly blessed with an astounding talent then, and if anything, i’m even more convinced of that now, because i am just constantly in awe of your characters, of your portrayal of octavia because holy fuck babe, it’s so GOOD, so indepth. you truly bleed complete depth and understanding into her, as if she’s your actual character and not jroths or the original writers. actually, let’s say she’s yours because you show her more fucking love, lets be real here. let me also tell you, how much your little messages about how much you love me on discord everyday, they truly make my day. because i’ve had a fucking horrendous time as of late with some shitty times irl and in the community and you’ve become a rock. you’ve shown me there’s some people left who are intrinsically kind, who have nothing but a GOOD regard to people. you’re someone who deserves the literal world, because you’re just a fucking diamond, just pure through and through. and your talent??? god i love writing our babies saff and orion, we created them, wrote them and i was hooked instantly, like i am complete trash for our babies and for YOU, because you’re so beyond talented, so gifted. i am shook at you all of the time, please TEACH me your ways, pls pls. i also know that i can approach you to yell about things, or throw muse posts at you, and you’ll be accepting. thank you for embracing me, for being so accepting, so sweet to me and an astounding friend, i count you as one of my best friends. i honestly don’t think words could ever say how grateful i am for you, but i hope this makes you smile. you’re a credit to this fandom, and i can’t wait to write more with you, to yell more and for this beautiful friendship to continue. i love you, bIG UP THE RIDDEN FAM, love you always, please never forget how truly extraordinary you are, because i’ll always be here to tell you. i don’t want to be in this fandom ever without YOU <3333

@waldenborn / @geneticassassin ----- LILLY --------- U ANGEL… i don’t even know how i can ever express my true gratitude for you, for always being there when i need someone, for being your truly amazing self. and also for embracing azalea from the very beginning when i made her, i was such a heart eyes fan girl over you because damn… helo is so well crafted, so in depth and just everything i aspire to create within my own oc’s. you have always truly thought him through, put so much love and creativity into him and that in itself has always astounded me, i think i’ll always be someone who fangirls over you. i was terrified to reach out at first, just because i’m a ball of anxiety and you always made me completely at ease, and even when we go weeks without talking, without interacting at all, it’s like NO time has passed. we just pick up as we left off, and i know there’s never ANY pressure and it makes me feel safe, and like i can truly be myself. you’re truly world class, and i can never thank you for all the love and support you’ve given me, honestly. i don’t think i could ever put it into words, but you mean everything to me and to a zillion more people in this fandom, you’re a big ball of sunshine, of love, and you’re a true angel to have around. A CREDIT. i can never thank you for accepting me, hyping me up and wanting to write with me, honestly writing with you makes me SUPER happy because i get to craft such amazing character relationships with you, but also because i get to be astounded by your incredible replies all of the time. i get so !!!! at seeing you on the dash bc dATS my babyyyyy. our development with azalea / helo always melts me, from them meeting in mount weather, to falling for each other and then facing the end of the world together, living their peaceful life on earth for six years, undisturbed. they deserved that happiness !!!! helo is so important to azalea, like he’s a huge part of her life, and i love our talks about them, and you always yelled at me about how much you loved my characters even when i wasn’t writing azalea on tumblr anymore. i always felt that support from you, and you have no idea how much it helped me out of so many dark places. i also adored writing bellamy / gabby with you because they own my aSS, and octavia and helo because hearing all your headcanons about his love of octavia and how protective of me always BLEW my mind. fancy sharing some of that talent, please???? i am just forever in awe of you. i count myself lucky to know someone like you. the world needs more GOOD souls like you. just know how much of an impact on my life you’ve had, you deserve the hype you talented lil baby. I LOVE YOU <33333

@damnstory / @azgedaspy ----- KAT ---- u sWEET angel <3333 first off, let me YELL about how much of a fucking vital individual you are to this community, like while we don’t have to ask permission to be part of the “damn” family, you’ve brought together a group of writers, and everyone fucking ADORES you because you’re down to earth. you’re so sweet, and so fucking lovely. like i don’t think words even capture my adoration of you. from the moment we met, you did nothing but embrace me, nothing but BUILD me up, keep reminding me how much i was a strong person, or a zillion and one other sweet things you said. i can never thank you enough for that, as someone who’s really been through it in the fandom with people that i didn’t deserve or ask for, it was nice for someone to validate me and make me feel like ???? i was wanted around. you helped my mental state more than words ever could truly express, i love you endlessly for that, as it shows just HOW good of a person you are. you have one of the kindest hearts i’ve met, and your talent forever leaves me taken aback. you know i’m so trash for your echo, like the ONLY echo i’ll accept, i’ll be honest. like at this rate, she’s your character in my eyes, because wow, the depth, the love, the UNDERSTANDING you’ve put into her. it just is incomparable. and now you’re bringing the loml bellamy blake to life, and gOD DAMN you’re so fucking good at him, you never make any excuses for his behaviour, you hold him accountable and i love throwing angsty threads of my ocs, or charas calling him out on his bullshit because you know i’m a SLUT for some angst. you bring him to life, and it’s so brilliant, like truly you’re a talent, so in depth and so much effort goes into it, and it’s appreciated, it’s something i ADMIRE, you deserve all the hype and more. you’re one of the best writers i’ve ever come across, and i have no other choice but to STAN, always and forever. you showed me that there’s some good left on this site . you showed me that i can still make friends that i trust and love , and to never be intimidated to talk to people, because we both know i’ve been terrified to talk to people before. i always fangirled over you before and i STILL do, you’re just a fucking angel who deserves the entire world and more. like truly a treasure, i count you as one of my best friends on this site, a person who is so encompassingly good, that it makes the community a JOY to be in. i love you kat, keep being your incredible self, and throwing your talent into the community, because i’ll always be here to yell about it. you’re just world class and i love you so much. <3333

@damnbetray ------ BEAN, god if there’s anyone who’s a fucking CUTIE in this fandom, it’s YOU. i can’t ever express how much i love you or how much you make me laugh. you are just beyond talented, i can’t wait to write with you and develop our characters together. but more than anything, you’re just a SWEETHEART, who has validated how i’ve felt lately, you’ve made me feel at ease when my world was falling apart. you’ve stayed and HYPED me up, made me feel empowered to do what’s BEST for me, and made sure to tell me i’m doing what’s right and i can never thank you enough for that. you’ve got the kindest heart, like truly, i can’t even express how much i adore you, words will never EVER encompass that enough. you’re one of the sweetest babes i’ve met and i LOVE getting to yell about things to you, like spending the very late hours of the evening with you on voice chat, laughing our heads off about how stupid our languages or hometowns are. like comparing sayings, it honestly made my night. after such discomfort i’ve experienced, i can’t even explain how much that means to me, getting some company, someone who UNDERSTANDS my horrendous hysteria. you deserve the WORLD bubby, honestly. you’re the cutest babe. and your accent is SO ADORABLE, i want it... i’m jealous. also, your ocs are so well crafted, i am in awe at your talent to bring characters to life, how you’ve put your love, soul and heart into creating them, it shows how much you adore writing and how much they mean to you and i can’t wait for our soft grounder babies to meet. azalea will LOVE on her so much, like just you WAIT. i’m so grateful for our little squad, not only making me feel at ease in this fandom, but being a support network i so desperately needed, like we ALL need that love. and i don’t care WHAT you say but ur a fucking talent at not only writing but fucking graphics bc what you created was legit fucking INSANELY incredible, like i’m jealous pls teach me ur ways, thank u. you’ve been a fucking angel to me since we met , and i can’t imagine life without you and i don’t wanna . it’s like we’ve been friends forever , and i love that . you’re a friend i’m blessed to have. thank you for being you. i LOVE U so much, and i’ll be here ALWAYS to hype you up because you deserve the hype, all of it. soak it up <3333

OTHERS I LOVE, that if i had the energy to write MORE about i would but they’re my squad and I ADORE them, they truly inspire me so much, and i value all of them, like as MONTY would say, the GOOD guys : @mythso ; @mythcals ; @mieczlw ; @heroach ; @roseguided ; @buriedwoes ; @hevives ; @trageday ; @mudwoven ; @coyoted ; @pahriahs ----- you ALL deserve the world, your talent truly astounds me and your presence in this fandom has truly not only melted my heart but made this place a safe space for me, a place of warmth. you ALL are aware of how much i love you from how much i’ve yelled at you previously, and if i could fight through this chronic illness pain right now to talk about you all individually i WOULD, but my meds aren’t working. your writing is incomparable in talent, like the depth, the love you put in, and how you’re all so DOWN to earth, such softies and so welcoming and accepting of me???? i can’t thank you enough. you all deserve ever OUNCE of hype. like you accepted azalea, or any other muse i’ve written and that in itself means everything and more to me, i don’t think words will ever truly express. for someone who’s insanely anxiety riddled after some shit ooc, and in the community, it melts me when i find people with nothing but GOOD intentions, because it proves that there are STILL good people out there. i count you as my closest friends, and i adore writing with you and can’t wait to do it more. just know you’ve had the biggest of impacts on me, that by just BEING you, and sharing your gift, you’ve made me happy, made this place ALL the more better, and words will never do you justice. you’re all SWEETHEARTS, and a credit to the community. i ADORE you and love you all so so so much. <3333

MORE PEOPLE I LOOK UP TO AND WANT TO INTERACT WITH , BUT I’M BUT AN ANXIETY RIDDLED BABE SO PLEASE THROW YOURSELVES AT ME : --- @commaender ; @commandied ; @azhefa ; @azgona ; @astralgenius ; @brotheir ; @darkseen ; @damnfoxed ; @damnbrace ; @damnloyal ; @shenomaly ; @damnbird ; @damnguard ; @damnalone ; @earthsheir ; @earthreina ; @fatalruin ; @futuresees ; @fatalrisk ; @genetictraitor ; @glassae ; @graunfisop ; @holykissed ; @hqppier ; @heroicis ; @imperrator ; @knowsdeath ; @komfolaui ; @laendon ; @lovkyna ; @lovefray ; @mortaele ; @mortaele ; @nextleveldamaged ; @otvblake ; @puresthearted ; @pyrorize ; @praesaes ; @preytend ; @runegiven ; @sunhken ; @tribrids ; @warstroyed ; @wanlidas ; @avgustia .

if i missed anyone !!! i’m sorry, my add makes it super hard to REMEMBER and focus, BUT i adore you and look up to you so much <333

#i. out of character. / appreciation post .#!!!!!!!!#i love you ALL #thank u for embracing me #for making me feel welcome #i love u all #<3333 #loss mention tw #loss tw

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pastagolia · 4 years

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Songs that make me think of my boyfriend and why -

I don’t expect anyone to read this all the way through I just like making lists and wanna share a little bit of my heart

Caught Up In You by 38 Special - it’s one of those songs where the singer never expected to fall in love and then they met someone who changed their life and dragged them into the eternal bliss and obsession of love, and not to get too personal on main (she says at the beginning of a list of songs that remind her of her favourite person) but that is literally what happened with us. Both of us wanted to be single forever, but after meeting each other we changed our minds and immediately started planning for our future together

I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing by Aerosmith - I asked him what song reminded him of me, and he sent me this all casual like “yeah I was lowkey thinking of you while listening to this sooo” and then I listened to it and actively cried

Hey, Leonardo by Blessed Union of Souls - see this one is just an amazing song because it’s all about how, as the chorus says, “she likes me for me" - not because of anything like looks or money or anything, but because of personality and the love in the soul, which as an asexual person I relate to real hard

The Boys of Summer by Don Henley - this is technically one of those break up songs that sing about a summer fling and how he thinks about her all those years later, but I love it because 1. it’s a beautiful song and 2. the first time I heard it was in the car with him on the way back from the first thing we went to as a couple. I sat next to him in his car holding his hand shielding my eyes from the setting sun, heading back to his house to eat dinner and play Minecraft, and it was just so amazing

Summer of ‘69 by Bryan Adams - one time we were sitting in the car and he said “bruh this is my favourite song because he says 69 lol” and now I laugh every time I listen to it (I laughed beforehand too but now the humour has a bit of love in it)

Photograph by Def Leppard - he made me listen to it because he liked the guitar solo and it is already a banger, plus it’s kind of a love song (more like a lust song, but the lust is so easily disguised that I can sing it and still be all lovey without thinking about how this guy is basically wanking to a picture of a girl he likes)

Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen - I showed it to him because I thought he’d like it and apparently it’s one of his favourite songs so we sat in the car together scream singing about fat bottomed girls (and it’s kind of funny because he really did pick himself a fat bottomed girl so it’s funny to hear him singing about it lol)

Mr. Rainmaker by Warrant - this is just the sweetest song, here is the sweetest bit - “Mr. Rainmaker, don’t waste your time, cause I’ve found a girl who is permanent sunshine” - and that makes me smile so bad because he is my permanent sunshine

Share Your Address by Ben Platt - see this song is just a beautiful proclamation of love and the intention of spending the rest of your life with another person, which obviously has me thinking about the loml

Temporary Love by Ben Platt - while we’re on this Ben Platt album, temporary love is what I listen to whenever things get hard because it is about a couple pushing through the struggles of being intimate with each other and sharing their souls - “leaning on somebody’s never easy” - and that is so true, and a reminder that he loves me even when I feel scared to let him

I’m a Believer by Smash Mouth - this is good for a couple reasons 1. Shrek is a meme and half of our relationship is memes and humour 2. it’s another one where OP never thought he’d fall in love

Smooth (ft. Rob Thomas) by Santana - one of the songs that he recommended to me, so I think about him every time I listen

Hooked On a Feeling by Blue Swede - I am in fact hooked on the feeling that he’s in love with me. I was never appreciated by people I wasn’t related to whilst growing up, and the best friend I made in high school ended up just using me, so the idea that someone is actually in love with me and not pretending or using me is so beautiful

Walk This Way by Aerosmith - again, not a love song, but it’s a song that we both love and is a whole ass bop. Plus, when we were in high school, whenever we were trying to motivate our group to stop standing around and start walking we would start singing this, so not only is it a connection between us but it’s also a memory of a time when we were just friends and both secretly crushing on each other

Jack & Diane by John Mellencamp - a song that I got from his playlist that slapssss, and that kind of has some stuff that makes me think about him and about us

Hotel California by Eagles - this is a rock ballad. I am NOT a fan of rock ballads. But this is one of his favourite songs that he sings all the time, so back when I had a crush on him, I sat down and listened to it a billion times until it was stuck in my head and I was forced to like it so that we would have something in common, and now whenever I listen to it I think about him and what I would do for him

Mama I’m Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne - this is another rock ballad but it’s one of his favourite songs so I conditioned myself to like it and now I love it and it makes me really happy, so particularly when the syncopated guitar comes in I think about him (no reason for the placement, I guess that’s just when I realised the song kind of went hard)

Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue - my music taste is heavier metal and more exciting music (Black Veil Brides, Motley Crue, Metallica, Warrant, ACDC, etc) and his music taste is more chill classic rock (Queen, John Mellencamp, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, etc). I like a lot of his music - I’ll listen to pretty much anything as long as I can bop to it (that’s why I don’t like ballads) - but he doesn’t really like my harder stuff. This is one of the songs he recently admitted to liking, along with Enter Sandman by Metallica, so now I think about him when I hear them

then there’s a whole list of songs that I got from his playlist that are actual bops and I listen to mostly because I like them (but like a little bit of him still pops up when I listen), and LOTS of songs that I can picture us dancing to together in the car, screaming the lyrics and dancing and laughing together.

honestly I think what we’ve learned from this post is that I am in love with him and everything makes me think about him.

anywho, if you actually read all the way through this, hi I love you and I hope you will have/are having an amazing day. thanks for humouring me and letting me geek out about the one person in this world who chose to love me and has continued to choose to love me every single day

I literally cannot stop talking posting typing thinking about it and about him, I know it’s unhealthy to be obsessed, and honestly I don’t think I am obsessed, but you have no idea how crazy it is to me that there is someone in this world who picked me. out of everyone else in the world. he had a crush on the prettiest most talented girl in the whole school, and she liked him back, but he chose me. and he keeps picking me. every day he wakes up and sends me memes and tells me he loves me and takes as much time as possible out of his week to call me and thinks about me all day and tries his best for me. and that is crazy. I spent most of my life being told that the only reason I existed was to make other people happy and my worth was determined by how I let people use me and that people loved me not because of who I am but because of what I can do for them. so the fact that there is someone in this world who lets me be me in all my needy attention-whoring glory and loves me because of it shakes me to the core every single time I think about it.

and I can’t stop talking about it, I wanna tell everyone that stands still that someone is in love with me and chose me and doesn’t think that I’m annoying and thinks that I’m worth it just because I exist and not because of what I can do for him and I just wanna tell everyone everywhere that HE LOVES ME

okay that’s it, ya girl is gonna go to bed - if you couldn’t tell I sorely need it. sleep well, dear friends, and remember that life is beautiful, you are beautiful and worth it, and that no matter what kind of love you want - platonic, romantic, sexual - it is there for you and it will be more amazing than anything you can dream of

#the ramblings of a sleep deprived romantic piece of shit #don't mind me #i don't expect anyone to rb this #i just wanted to rant a little bit and share a tiny piece of my heart #cause if i hold it all in for too long i might explode #mine

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toshis-puppycat · 4 years

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@traqicalromance is the sweetest ever and really do be giving the loml vibes she created these moodboards for Unfortunately, I Think I Love You Too (which will have its second part coming out soon!!) I love you though Ronnie like for reals 🥰💖

#bnha #hawks x reader #moodboard #I love you Ronnie

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clumsyclifford · 4 years

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my gift is my song (and this one’s for you)

part 2 of the your song series which is once again dedicated to loml @calumcest helen i hope....this gives u some modicum of joy :’) i wrote it literally at like 1am so if it sucks that would be why

part 1 on tumblr // part 1 on ao3 // ao3 link for this part

There are certain invariable facts: London is the capital of England, E flat is the most beautiful key to play in, and Michael is in love with Calum Hood.

He hadn’t meant to be. In fact, he’d tried not to be, because it can be difficult, being in love with your closest (and only) work partner, and it’s bad enough that they’re fucking. This thing he and Calum have is unnamed, and as such unaddressed. They sleep in the same bed most nights, and kiss a lot, and have passionate sex that leaves both of them breathless, but they’re not, like, dating — they're not in love. They can’t be. At this stage in their career, one scandal like that and they’re out of the game forever.

So it’s not like Michael has been seeing Calum casually for a few weeks and is starting to feel something more. It’s more like Michael had watched Calum chew on his lower lip as he worked on lyrics over breakfast one morning, and it had hit him full force.

Michael’s in love with Calum. That’s just one more thing he has to repress and never think about. It’s not like he’s wanting for much, anyway; the realization hasn’t put much of a damper on his life, because Calum’s right there, always, just within arm’s reach, so willing and easy and pliant that Michael thinks it’s too good to be true. Calum is too good to be true, and he’s too gorgeous to be Michael’s, but here they are anyway.

(He’s not Michael’s, not really, Michael has to remind himself regularly. At any point Calum could decide to go get a girlfriend or fuck someone else, and Michael would have to be okay with it.

Calum doesn’t seem like he plans to do that anytime soon, though.)

Michael wakes up and decides today is going to be a no-pants day, because it’s his own fucking house and he can do what he likes. His mum will fuss, probably, but Michael’s also an adult, so her words don’t hold much weight anymore.

He treads heavily as he takes the stairs, and when he enters the kitchen Calum is already awake, along with the rest of his family. “Morning,” he greets them all. Calum doesn’t acknowledge him; there’s a pen in his hand and he looks close to being done with something, so Michael doesn’t bitch at him for it.

“Get dressed, Mikey,” his mum says.

“Michael,” Michael corrects her, forcefully. Calum’s the only one who calls him Mikey, and that’s only because he’s too much of a little bitch to listen when Michael tells him not to. He ties his bathrobe anyway, as a compromise.

“I’m not having you moping around here all day,” his mum says, which is funny. What’ll she do? Kick him out?

“We’re songwriting,” Michael tells her. He jerks his chin at Calum for emphasis. Calum glances up at Michael’s mum, then at Michael, as if only just realizing there’s a conversation going on above his head.

Michael skids his eyes over the pages Calum’s scribbling on, but he’s a moment too late to read them; Calum picks them up, staring at them as if they’ve unlocked the secret to the universe, and Michael doesn’t hear anything anyone else says after that. Calum looks the way he looks when he’s got a winner, and Michael wants it.

Sure enough, moments later Calum hands the pages off to Michael, wordlessly. Michael takes them and scans the lyrics: it’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide.

His heart rate picks up, and he’s not sure why. These words are personal, and sincere, and they feel like —

They feel like how Michael feels, about Calum.

He looks back at Calum, and wants to ask a million things, but his mum’s in here, still fucking talking, so he just says, meekly, “There’s egg on this,” and then immediately leaves the kitchen. He can hear this song, already. God, he can hear it so clearly that Calum might have plagiarized it. Except he can’t have, because Michael would surely remember hearing a song this — well —

Adoring, Michael’s subconscious provides.

He sits at the piano and sets the lyrics on the music stand, and when he puts his fingers to the keys (Calum calmly saying, “I better go take a shave, I think,” in the background), the melody appears unbidden. It’s like it’s been sitting under his fingertips for years, just waiting for the right words, and now they’re here, and Michael’s heart is too big for his chest, and his lungs too small, and he plays every note and tentatively sings.

“It’s a little bit funny,” he starts, “this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide.” He pauses, takes a breath. “Don’t have much money, but, boy, if I did…I’d buy a big house where we both could live.”

He can feel these lyrics in his bones. He wants to sing them to Calum, to look in Calum’s eyes and say this is what I’ve felt for you since the day we met in that cafe and sang “Streets of Laredo” too loud to be appropriate, since I kissed you on the roof and you kissed me back, since I’ve fucking known you.

But these aren’t even his words. They’re Calum’s. These aren’t his own thoughts, or feelings.

Something moves in his periphery. “If I was a sculptor,” he continues, and then chuckles a bit at the next line, “but then again…no.” He glances to the side, and Calum’s standing at the doorway, mesmerized. Michael smiles and looks back at the lyrics. “Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show. I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do.” He turns his head, slows down a bit, and meets Calum’s eyes. “My gift is my song, and this one’s for you.” For you, he thinks, with his whole heart and soul, and Calum looks spellbound by the music and a little bit scared and a little bit desperate, but there’s no mistaking the amount of love in his gaze as he watches Michael. Even Michael can see it, and he feels it all the way into his fingertips.

He looks back at the words just as Calum cracks a smile, so sudden that the room lights up with it. “So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do; you see I’ve forgotten, if they’re green or they’re blue,” and oh, oh. Sometimes Calum tries to write from Michael’s perspective, but not this one. Calum’s eyes are deep and brown, and Michael’s the one with the blue-green eyes that change colors whenever they fucking feel it, apparently.

“Anyway, the thing is…what I really mean,” Michael goes on, and hides a smile as he sings it. It’s just like Calum to write lyrics like this, so stream-of-consciousness, to say things like anyway and then again, no and try to double back and explain himself. This isn’t just a song; this is a letter, a message, and Michael feels every feeling ever about being the one receiving it.

He reads the next line and almost stutters over it; as it is, he has to tense his jaw so he doesn’t cry. “Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen,” he sings, softly, because this isn’t a line for the world to hear, this is his, his and Calum’s.

He thinks Calum is still standing in the doorway, but he’s too nervous to look over now, afraid that one glance will make him too misty-eyed to read the words, or make his palms too sweaty to play. He’s overwhelmed with love, and he’s not done with the song just yet.

“And you can tell everybody, this is your song,” Michael goes on, and fuck it — he turns his head again, and Calum is still there, wide-eyed and staring, like he can’t quite believe something. “It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done, I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words…” He nearly chokes on the next part. “How wonderful life is, while you’re in the world,” he manages, gentle.

He doesn’t deserve these words, but he knows they’re his. And when he looks again at Calum, thoughtlessly playing a final chord, he knows that Calum knows that he knows they’re for him.

He glances around himself when he finishes. He mum and gran are both sat in the room; Michael feels exposed, and he needs to be alone with Calum, like, yesterday.

Calum blinks at him, doe-eyed, then steals out of the room, and Michael swallows thickly and follows after him, footfalls muted by the carpet.

He closes their door behind him. Calum’s standing in the middle of the room like he’s not quite sure what to do with himself.

“You wrote that?” Michael says. Okay, stupid question. He amends, “For me.”

It’s supposed to be a question, but comes out like a statement. Calum nods.

“Did you mean it?”

Calum stares at him. “How could I not mean it, Mikey?”

“Fuck,” Michael says. “That’s, like. A love song.”

“Yeah.”

“A real, proper love song, not some cheesy poppy Daniel you’re a star shit.”

“Yeah,” Calum says, nervous but steady.

“For me,” Michael says again. He’s not sure he can believe it.

“Yeah,” Calum says a third time. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, it’s fucking okay,” Michael says, a little out of breath. “More than okay. But I thought we were — like. I don’t know. Not…that.” He sees Calum flinch, and hurriedly adds, “But I don’t care. I want to be that.”

“You do?” Calum says.

“Fuck, are you kidding me, Cal? I love you. I — I love you more than anyone’s ever loved. I didn’t think I was capable of love until I met you. You make me feel like I’m something more, like I’m something worthwhile, like I’m artwork, when in reality you’re the artwork, and I’m just the lucky bastard who —”

Calum cuts him off with a searing kiss, and Michael startles and then sinks into it. The kiss spreads to every part of him, more than it ever has; he can feel it in his palms and the arches of his feet and his stomach and his chest. He wraps his arms around Calum’s waist and pulls him in, crowding as close as he can. He’s kissed Calum too many times to count, but this one says everything he wasn’t allowed to say before. I love you. I mean it. I love you. I mean it. I love you. I mean it.

Calum pants against Michael’s lips when they break apart, and Michael feels dizzy. “Mine are the sweetest eyes you’ve ever seen?” he can’t help asking. “Really?”

“Fuck off,” Calum grumbles.

“No, it’s cute.” Michael kisses Calum again. “Very romantic. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“I haven’t anymore,” Calum says. “It’s yours now. Your Song, you see?”

Michael shakes his head. “Cal, it’s our song,” he says quietly.

“The name of the song is Your Song, you idiot,” Calum says.

Michael shoves his shoulder for ruining the moment, but Calum grabs his sleeve as he stumbles back, and they both collapse onto the bed.

(They don’t leave the bed for a while.)

(Michael could die right now and he’d die a happy man.)

#malum #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #michael clifford #calum hood #malum fic #malum fanfic #rocketman au #stuff #my fic #fic #im . happy about this #i dont hate it which is always a nice feeling #5sos

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bloodofvalyriaarchive · 5 years

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( ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

in case ya’ll didn’t know - it is @statichvm ‘s bday!!!! (nov.21st)

so i just wanted to say thank you to her for being such a huge part of my time on this hellsite -- through some wacky drama and a lot of self deprecation she has stuck by my side and truly has become one of my best friends in the world. i don’t know what i’d do without her so i got some friends together to send her some kind words, so she knows how truly loved she is. ily macy!!!! thank you for being you. you are kind, hilarious, TALENTED, creative and genuinely one of a kind. thank you for sharing a brain cell wif me T_T here’s sum more luv for you under the cut -- i tried to find a ecard for everyone to sign but they were all cheesy boomer cards so i made this instead LOL

MACY! happy birthday, LOML. you are amazing and you deserve the best birthday! know that i would kill a man for you. love you always - @josephseeds-rosary

happy birthday macy!!! i love you so, so much and feel so blessed to have gotten to know you this year have the best damn day bc u deserve it boo - @colesphelps

happy birfday bb!! you are an angel come to bless us all with your lovely presence and phenomenal content and i would give u the world if i could - @pizzaplanethq

happy birthday macy!! I love you so so much and I'm so happy that I got to know a person as wonderful as you, I hope you have an amazing day today and I wish you all the best - @devotchkas

happy birthday macy!! i'm so glad i've gotten to know you over time and you deserve the absolute world!! i hope you have the best day ever and i love you so much!! - @owanijiladam

Macy, Macy, Macy, I am so happy I’ve gotten to know you over the last few months! You’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and you deserve kisses from kittens and everything else that’s good and soft! I hope your birthday and every day after it finds you happy and healthy and loved! I’m so honored to call you a friend! - @casino-lights

Macy! Happy birthday to you, darling. I am blessed and honored to know you, and the world is a brighter place for having you in it - @redroci

Macy! You're such a talented writer and I can't wait to read more of your stories. You're also a total sweetheart, and I'm very glad I've gotten the chance to know you. Happy birthday hunny - I hope you have a terrific day, and so much more! Love you hon! - @solesurvivorkat

Happy birthday, Macy! You are such a sweetheart and deserve all the best! I hope the coming year brings you so much happiness and love, because you deserve it! I hope that your birthday was absolutely wonderful - @eliios

macy!!!! happy birthdaaaaay!!! <3 <3 <3 i hope you have a fantastic day and that your next year is amazing!! <3 i'm so glad that we became friends, you're the absolute sweetest and iluuuu - @foofygoldfish

Happy Birthday Macy!! I wish nothing but the absolute best for you, in this day and forever, you are such an amazing person and I'm so very grateful to have met you and call you a friend!! Also, please, never stop creating!! - @naromoreau

Happy, happy birthday, Macy!!! May this next year be filled with happiness, triumph, and opportunity! I hope you have an amazing day and you're reminded how awesome and special you are!!! Thank you for being a part of my life and filling my days with your presence - you make everything so much brighter! Love you so much - have a very happy birthday!!! - @teamhawkeye

happy birthday Macy! I hope your day brings the best of things to you. Things that make you happy, people who love you, Rafe, maybe even his booty-ass. Seriously though, you a real one and I love you to pieces. - @higgs-pizza

Lihkku beivviin and happy birthday dearest Macy! I hope that your birthday brings as much joy to you as your friendship has to all of us! you are a wonderful and amazing person and you deserve the best of all things! We all love you dearest Macy! Sávan buorri beaivvi! (I hope it is all right I included some traditional Saami well wishes?) - @stormklinge

Miss Macy, I hope this day will bring you joy and happiness. You deserve every minute of it, and I hope this coming year will be better! If there's any bad day- that's also fine, we need them to make us stronger. I'll just put my favourite quote here: don't let hard days win. You're strong. Compassionate. Charming and fun. Celebrate this day, it's your day! Happy birthday, my little Star! - @lexieheron

MACY! :D Happy happy birthday you crazy daughter of a very nice lady. Enjoy your day, enjoy the upcoming year, and I wish you a lot of fun and health for the upcoming you. No matter what you do, you will rock it, and remember on the bad days - the sun will always rise again, and another day will welcome you with open arms. Happy Birthday Macy, you are awesome. - @another-bryk-in-the-wall ALSO PLS IMAGINE LIKE 4 HUNDRED HEART AND BIRTHDAY CAKE EMOJIS THAT DIDN’T TRANSFER OVER !!!! anyone please dog pile on this post or go to macy’s page and send her some love!!! she deserves it!!!!!! UWU!!!!! also a little addition and appreciation for everyone who pooled money together to get macy her bday pressy -- @stormklinge, @casino-lights, @josephseeds-rosary, @owanijiladam, @eliios, @pizzaplanethq, @faithsgate & @naromoreau (PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED YOU I’M VERY STUPID)

#long post #i hope the cut works LMAO #statichvm #WE LUV U MISS MACY #and so does rafe #uwuwuwuwuwuwu

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gr-ogu · 5 years

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When you get this, you must publicly post something nice about at least 5 different people you follow, then copy and paste this in each of their ask boxes

Okay so, I got like three of these asks, and for the sake of not spamming people’s dashes I’m just gonna do one post and tag many people and put it under a read more!!!!!!!

I would like to say there are SO many people I could put on lists like these so pls don’t think I don’t care about you if you’re not here!!!!!!! I have a lot of love to give but I can’t put everyone here in one go sdjfhjdfhjd!!!

@mikewheeler @elhoppers @scooptroops @lucascsinclairs @milevenhearteyes @milliebbrowns @fatechica @ericasinclairs @robinbuckleyy @milevens @martygalwrites @serendipitousrambles @summer-in-hawkins @mikeswheeler @sadiesinkt

@mikewheeler ally is LICH RALLY the nicest and most understanding person on the planet. I can tell her ANYTHING and she has honestly been one of the kindest friends I’ve met on my time on tumblr!!!! She’s the warm hug you need after a long day and I know I could call her 25/8 and she would be there if I needed her which honestly means the WORLD. She makes everything seem better even in the worst of times, and I can never thank her enough for that. 11/10 would die for her. Also I ruin my sleeping pattern every night for her so she loves me ;) THE MOST TALENTED GIF MAKER AND ALL AROUND WONDERFUL PERSON. LOML TBH WITH YOU.

@elhoppers SARAH. MY LOVE. MY LIGHT. I feel SO lucky to have met such a bubbly, thoughtful, positive soul in person. I could talk to Sarah for HOURS about anything and everything. Truly a comrade for life and she knows what I’m thinking even if I haven’t said it, which is useful bc sometimes my Thoughts should not be shared out loud ksdhfjkdfhjdfh. We have SO much in common and she’s so fun to talk to and scream with. Always down to overshare with this gal bc we get each other on a level. TWINS SEPARATED AT BIRTH TBH. also her gifs KILL me she always comes in swinging, especially where our daughter el or mileven is concerned!!!!!!!

@scooptroops omg how do i even BEGIN to describe my love for mady tbh? the funniest, wittiest, sluttiest and BEST human being i’ve ever met. not only is she fiercely loyal but she’s a true Baddie who always has my back. I love Mady so much I regularly talk about my love for her to people who don’t even know her, bc that’s just How It Be. this girl has me laughing until I cry with her hilarious memes and also crying with Pain at her beautiful gifs. She makes?? The best art?? On the planet?? Truly the full package and joe keery would be LUCKY to date her (sorry @ mady’s bf skdjfhjkfhfjdgh). I know I can talk to her about anything and I love Mady so so SO MUCH. Bestie and sister-wife for LIFE

@lucascsinclairs ohhhhh the ways i could describe jazz. GORGEOUS (inside and out), the most hilarious, supportive, understanding, caring, intelligent friend. I’m so so lucky to have someone in my life who is simultaneously so level-headed she can calm me down in an instant, and also engages in THE most crackhead-headassery with me AT ALL TIMES. insert *we irritating* meme right here. love this gal to DEATH. like i would literally die for her. 10/10 memes. 10/10 face. 10/10 EVERYTHING. I ALWAYS smile when I see Jazz pop up and I would be lost without her at this point!!!!!!!! LIVE for all our long chats and rants, Jazz is honestly one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met!

@milevenhearteyes ELLIEEEEEEEEEEE. MY BABY! Even though she’s older than me but don’t mention that ;) ;) ;) hands down, one of the sweetest, most genuinely caring and understanding people I’ve ever come across. But also the most SAVAGE oh my god she will sass you to the moon and back and i am HERE FOR IT! One day Ellie and I are going to meet and it’s going to be the summer of love and we’re going to have deep chats about what an influential and strong woman she is AND ALSO ABSOLUTELY SCREAM THE LYRICS TO TANGLED. CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! EVEN IF YOU HATE SOL I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!!! ;)

@milliebbrowns what can I say? 20/10 obsessed with this insane woman since the day I met her. Literally in awe of everything she does, especially her gif making talent. ALWAYS comes in with the tea, which……. I OOP I LOVE. One of the funniest people I’ve ever spoken to and I am always here for her Vaguely Chaotic and Loving Energy!!!!!!!!! will talk to me about anything and everything and never bullies me bc she loves me too much!!!!!!!!!! ;) LOVE THAT FOR ME. also go and talk to her about joe jonas but NOT nick………………… don’t even think about it. if you do you WILL be blocked on sight, although you’re probably already blocked because? colleen just knows these things? LOVE YOUUUU

@fatechica Julie - my absolute DARLING! Not only is she an absolutely incredible writer, she is a dear friend. I am constantly blown away by her talent, drive and ambition. NOT TO MENTION WE ARE BRAIN TWINS!!!!!!!! IT’S ACTUALLY KINDA SCARY BUT I LOVE IT. SO supportive and absolutely is here for all my crackhead, meme-loving, sluttiness and honestly, how could anyone ever compare to that? Gives THE best advice and is always telling it how it is, which I appreciate more than anything. 10/10 QUEEN who i adore and i can’t wait for the joint fic we’re going to write one day ;) ;) ;)

@ericasinclairs VAL. MY ANGEL. MY STEVE-LOVING PARTNER FOR LIFE. Honestly any time Val speaks I get excited because she always has something interesting, adorable or hilarious to say. LITERALLY MY GO TO SOURCE FOR EVERYTHING ST RELATED, LIKE THAT GIRL WORKS FOR THE FBI I SWEAR! IT’S INSANE! Out here making me laugh with the best memes and wowing me with her clever and gorgeous gifsets, like for real. This girl could run the world if she wanted to. 10/10 provider of the rares too, for which I owe her my life ;) honestly val is just a genuinely hilarious, talented, kind sweetheart whomst i adore

@robinbuckleyy ANNA! MY LOVE! MY BABY! LITERALLY ADORE THIS GIRL SO SO SO MUCH. Luckily she was introduced to my joe/steve-loving ass right off the bat so she puts up with my crazy ways and just laughs because she loves me for who i am ;) THE PRETTIEST, MOST INSIGHTFUL BEAN EVER WHO WRITES THE MOST AMAZING FICS!! SERIOUSLY!! GO AND READ THEM IF YOU HAVEN’T!! I am constantly in awe of her because she is SO mature and level-headed and I can’t believe what an excellent human being she is and how much she’s going to BOSS whatever she does in the future, because I KNOW she will!!!!!!!!

@milevens kate!!! a darling!!! a babe!!!!! i have loved stranger things since it first aired but kate was my first ever true interaction with the fandom, when i read one of her mileven fics and the rest was HISTORY! an insanely creative and talented gif-maker and writer, like she out here running a blog for the DECADES. I LOVE IT! I don’t know where I would be without kate’s work, tbh. Probably sad? Mileven stan for LIFE and I fuck with that. so looking forward to getting to know her better !!!!!!!!! and also the insanely generous person i have to thank for this ICONIQUE url she gave me, like could your fave ever?

@martygalwrites oh my god. marty is actually SUCH a legend i stan her so hard? we didn’t start speaking until recently but she’s so quickly become one of my favourite people???? writes 11/10 amazing fics, like how could anyone NOT cry at her talent? ALWAYS coming in with the hot takes and realness, and a TRUE joe hoe at her core. ALWAYS APPRECIATES MY MEMES AND VALIDATES ME BECAUSE SHE IS SUCH A KIND, LOVING PERSON. genuinely in awe of how articulate but also downright funny this woman is. literally just radiates Cool Energy like how can I be you tbh? can’t wait to come and stay at her house so we can go to a djo concert together

@serendipitousrambles oh my gosh, not only does jess write the most AMAZING FICS AND DRABBES THAT KILL ME ON THE DAILY, SHE’S SO ELOQUENT AND PATIENT AT RESPONDING TO PEOPLE?? EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RUDE TO HER?? a truly thoughtful and supportive friend, who I’m so lucky I got to meet !!!!!!!!! her obsession with ST and HP parallels mine so that when you KNOW you’ve found a good one. ALWAYS comes in swinging with her mileven analysis and headcanons, like i swear she’s just out to attack me Personally at all times??? a wonderfully funny and talented human bean

@summer-in-hawkins Kaisa!!!!!!! an actual angel!!!!!!!! her gifs are SO good like she regularly blows me away with her talent and her creativity - it’s unparalleled. Not only is she one of the sweetest people ever, she’s so genuinely calm, rational and insightful, I am in awe? she works SO hard and I always smile when I see her speaking and speak to her because she always has something fascinating to say! truly so passionate about whatever she’s doing which means she can do ANYTHING she sets her mind to; kaisa has so many qualities people should want to embody because she’s honestly a ray of light on a cloudy day!! amazing human!!!

@mikeswheeler KYY!! A QUEEN!!! ALWAYS SLAYING ME WITH HER GIFS AND MOODBOARDS TBH!!!! I don’t get to talk to her as much as I’d like, but when I DO? WOW. One of the most supportive and encouraging friends ever, 10/10 will always be there to hype me and I could not be more grateful for that. Also I love to make her lose her mind with all my crazy steve and joe tags, because the answers I get in response are absolutely HILARIOUS. just an all-round funny, helpful, lovely person who i am so lucky to know!!! like seriously!!!! brilliant human alert!!!!

@sadiesinkt ughhhhhh tuva is a BABE like no words to describe this darling of a human!!!!!!! firstly, her graphics? absolutely STELLAR like teach me your ways lend me your creativity pls!!!!! honestly i cry every time i look at them they’re so so SO good. secondly, she’s such a kind and giving person - we haven’t spoken too much but whenever we do i am struck by how thoughtful and authentic she is!!!!!! has my back and i could not be more thankful for that!!!! possessor of some ICONIQUE urls and just an overall amazing human!!!!!!!!!

#ily all very dearly #sorry for any typos this took like 10 years and i haven't read it back sgfhgdh #BUT IT COMES FROM THE HEART #Anonymous #asks

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