#she’s so sweet and strong ahhhhhhhhhhh my heart

[mulderiloveyou]

i have a strong feeling that spender had a thing for scully (add that to the list of things he couldn’t get)

[caws5749]

Early November 2nd

A/N: WRITING THIS MAKES ME WANT TO HAVE A BABY AHHHHHHHHHHH! any who, I hope you enjoy! this series truly never fails to make my heart feel fluffy and full 

It was the first day in November, and you were ecstatic. You loved Halloween, but as soon as it was over, you were ready for the next holidays. And the Christmas tree always went up November first. 

You loved putting it up, but unfortunately, there was no way in hell Nat would let you even think about touching the tree. This close to your due date, in fact you were nearly over, Natasha hardly let you do anything besides get out of bed for the bathroom. 

So, in the early evening, you settled onto the couch and watched as your wife and two children set up the tree. 

“Can’t I at least help decorate?” you pouted from under the blanket. Natasha turned and shook her head.

“Absolutely not. You’re on bedrest.” 

“It might help the baby come,” you replied, pouting your lips and giving Nat your best puppy dog eyes. She nibbled on her lower lip, thinking it through. 

“Okay,” she reluctantly agreed, coming over to the couch to help you up. 

“Thank god you’re so strong,” you muttered after you were finally on your feet. Your words brought a light laugh out of her, and Natasha leaned forward to peck your lips. 

“I love you,” she murmured against your lips. 

“I love you too.”

“Mama, come on,” Nik sighed, tired of Natasha’s side mission to get you up and off the couch. 

“We’re coming,” you chuckled, making your way towards the large Christmas tree. 

“Here Mom,” Domi spoke as she held out an ornament to you. 

Taking it, you hung the ornament on the tree, joy rushing through you, as well as a stab of pain. 

“Ow,” you muttered, a hand falling to your stomach. 

“Y/N?” Natasha’s voice was filled with panic, more so that it ever had been. You were so close to your due date that every noise you made had her panicked. 

“It’s fine, the baby’s been kicking extra hard lately,” you responded. The pain had gone as quickly as it had come. Natasha was the furthest thing from convinced. 

“I think you should sit down.”

“But you just let me get up,” you whined. Your wife rolled her eyes. 

“Mom, what happens if the baby is coming?” Dominika asked. “Will it hurt a lot?”

“It hurts,” you admitted, “but in the end, it’s all worth it and the pain doesn’t seem as bad.” 

Your daughter was troubled with your answer. 

“How will you know when the pain is bad enough to say you’re having the baby?” she continued. Natasha set to answering her, while you gave attention to your son, who had wrapped his arms around you. 

“I don't want you to hurt, Mommy,” Nikolus nearly whispered. 

“I wish I didn’t have to be in pain either, boo,” you answered, your tone light. “But, guess what?”

“What?” he answered. 

“I forget all about the hurt right after.” 

He seemed content with your answer and refocused his attention on the task at hand, which you were grateful for, considering pain shot through you again. Letting out a heavy breath, you tried not to show your pain. Nat would never let you finish decorating the tree, and you didn’t want Nik or Domi to worry. 

And that’s how it went for a little while. You managed to make it a half hour before the pain got worse. Though part of you was starting to realize the situation, you knew it would most likely be a while before you had to really do anything about it, and so you kept on decorating with your family. 

Except that when the pain did get worse, you hadn’t expected it to get this painful this fast. When the wave struck, your hand grasped Natasha’s forearm tightly, unable to hide the feeling. Hiding your face from your children left only Nat to see your expression of pain. 

“Babe?” Though she’d seen you go through this twice, her concern and panic was just as high as it had been the previous times, something you sometimes teased her about. 

“I think we might be having a baby in the next twenty-four hours,” you responded once the pain had faded. 

“The baby is coming?” Nikolus and Dominika asked, eager at the thought of meeting their new sibling. 

“Maybe,” you answered. 

“Can you two finish up the tree?” Nat asked. “We’re going to go make sure everything is ready.”

Nik and Domi nodded, readily taking the responsibility. 

“We have the hospital bag packed, with all of the clothes, chargers, things for the baby, things for us- oh, we should call Steve and Clint so they can get here in time to watch Nik and Domi, and-”

“Natasha,” you interrupted, holding back a smile. “Stop, we’re okay. Breathe.”

“I just want everything to be ready.”

“It is,” you soothed, pulling her into your arms. “We’ve had two opportunities to learn, and we know what to do. We’re a long ways away from actually having to go to the hospital. My water hasn’t broke yet, the pain isn’t that bad or often, and we are going to have a nice rest of the evening, okay? We can put all the bags by the door, and then we’re pretty much set.”

Nat nodded, allowing herself to be calmed down. 

“Do you want to rest in bed or on the couch?” 

“I want us to be on the couch watching movies together as a family,” you responded, your lips making contact with the skin of her neck. 

++++++

After you had gotten settled on the couch, Domi and Nik snuggled up next to you and Natasha joining shortly after, the family movie night commenced. You’d gotten through two movies before the contractions grew to a level where you wanted medication for them. You began to grow grumpy, annoyed that your water hadn’t broken yet. 

“I’m hungry,” you pouted. 

“What would you like?” Natasha asked. 

“I think Mommy should get whatever she wants,” Nik thought aloud. You couldn’t help but smile, your grumpiness easing. 

“I think so too,” your wife agreed. 

“I want pancakes and hash browns and chocolate milk,” you replied dreamily. Nat pressed her lips briefly to your cheek, before murmuring a ‘be right back.’

She’d made it probably halfway out of the room before Nik and Dominika decided they wanted something too, and she’d made it through all of that and almost to the garage by the time you’d added a milkshake to your order too. 

It was times like these where you felt like the luckiest woman in the world for marrying her. 

By the time she’d gotten back with the food, you had a feeling it wouldn’t be much longer before your water broke. You thanked her quickly before scarfing down everything. Nat had just taken a sip of her drink when you felt a bit of wetness at the top of your thighs. 

“Natasha.”

The tone in your voice was enough to tell her what you were trying to say. 

“I’ll bring the car around and get everything in it.”

“I’ll call Clint and Steve.”

++++++

The difference between the calls had been drastic and you couldn’t help but laugh. Clint, having kids of his own, calmly stated that he’d be over soon, and that he was excited for you. Steve, on the other hand, had nearly panicked more than Nat, running out of the house while he was still on the phone with you, starting up his bike, and promising he’d be there within minutes. 

Twenty minutes later, everything was ready, Steve and Clint were watching the kids, and you had just been helped into the car. 

“We’ll be home soon, okay?” you told Domi and Nik. They nodded. 

“I want a little sister, but I’d be okay with a brother too,” Nikolus reasoned, causing his mothers to laugh. 

“We love you.”

++++++

“Natasha you’ve paced the room thirty times,” you deadpanned. 

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want them to have to put you through that.”

“They might not have to,” you responded calmly, leafing through a magazine. It’s going to be fine, hun. If they have to do a c-section, they have to do a c-section. As long as we have a healthy baby.”

The thought of your baby had Natasha smiling. 

“We’ll get to see if it’s a girl or boy,” she murmured, moving to sit on the edge of the hospital bed. Her hand gently fell to your large bump, and she leaned forward to kiss your forehead. 

A knock at the door interrupted the sweet moment, as the nurses came in to check how things were going. After a short exam, it was determined that you would be able to deliver vaginally, and that you were at ten centimeters. 

“It’s time,” you whispered to Natasha, tears in your eyes. 

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

“I’m fine, Nat,” you chuckled. “I’m excited.”

“Me too. You’re going to do great.”

++++++

An hour later, a cry filled the room, and tears fell from both yours and Natasha’s eyes. 

“Meet your daughter,” the nurse whispered, smiling as the baby was handed over. 

“She’s so beautiful,” you cried. You pressed kisses to her head as Natasha pressed a kiss to yours, and you reveled in the pure joy that surrounded you. Once Nat had given attention to your new little one, you let your daughter try and feed. After she had successfully latched, the nurse asked a question that she seemed to be dying to ask. 

“Do you have a name for her?”

“We do,” Natasha answered.

“Annika,” you continued. “Annika Romanoff.”

“A beautiful name,” the nurse smiled, before leaving you alone with your new daughter. 

“We love you so much,” you whispered to the newborn in your arms. 

“And so do your brother and sister,” Nat murmured. 

“I can’t wait for Domi and Nik to meet her.” 

[sazzafraz]

my pants no longer have coffee on them

nodus tollens!

Over time Sasuke learnt to tell by the smell. Ore meant a blood mutation. Licorice meant bone. Sweet ammonia meant parasites growing fat inside their hosts.    

sasuke’s memories of orochimaru are very sensory. i wrote him as a sensory person. i think the whole uchiha ‘hearts too strong to break easy, and that’s a warning’ thing would make them worse at managing their basic five experiences. 

Fuyuki shakes her head like a parent would, like Sasuke’s disgust is childish. “It’s an opportunity,” she says neutrally, “we have to make the most of them.” We don’t have the same means and opportunities as others, the silence says, we have to build from ruins and carnage. This is the right reason, boy. Even when it disgusts you. As if that makes doing something they’d kill someone else for doing right. Sasuke looks, and thinks, and looks again, and although he can understand it he can’t justify it.

oh man. at this point fuyuki pretty much knows she’s lost him. she is in fact saying shit to make him leave so she doesn’t have to make him while trying to jam common sense into his brain one last time. who knows if it takes. 

“What?” He feels it. Warm, wary, growing distant. Before Yumi was ’kunoichi, dangerous, fun loving’ she now has a little box in his internal checklist that says ‘caution: complicit and unrepentant’.

yeah. this is the thought. oof. dude just wants to trust his friends. 

She pats him lightly on the cheek, stepping back to give him some space. “You have my full and free permission to leave at any time. No member of Giri is forced to hold to an allegiance they feel no longer reflects their ideals.” With a wry smile she shakes her head reaching down to pull something from her pouch. “You always had an out.”  

He watches her hand. “What’s that?”

“For services rendered.” With a deliberate showiness she flips the object in her hand -a scroll- and holds it out to him. He blinks at her, taking the scroll from her outstretched hand. It’s thin and blue tipped, the personal seal of the Godaime Hokage glows in the night. The future in his hand.

AGAIN. SHE ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO LEAVE. THE POINT IS THAT YOU CAN LEAVE THE CYCLE nvrmind he’s not gonna get it for another 60,000 words. 

Sasuke says nothing. The pardon is cold in his hands, shame rolling through his gut. Truth be told he never actually thought he’d get it. Truth be told he’d forgotten about it. There’s never an out, there’s never something given without something taken away. She was honest. She did say what she was going to do. She never offered a single promise. Betrayal is a reflexive emotion for him, though, and he still feels it like a punch. Leaving is a choice. One he has made more often than any other. Being let go of is something he isn’t used to.  

woof. a long 60,000 words. still love that last line. fucks most verily. 

Giri have flying ships.

never used this. very mad about it. 

If extremely pressed Sasuke will admit that he picked Team Hebi based on a wild mix of comfort, usefulness and poorly placed boundaries. Orochimaru collected a bunch of weird traits and weirder expressions of trauma in the kids he lured to Oto; Suigetsu, Karin and Juugo are some of the best examples. Perfectly capable of respecting his needs and following his orders, completely incapable of acting like competent human beings the rest of the time.    

oh thank god they’re weird. sasuke actually needs at least three to nine people around him at all times and has never not once thought about how developing his chakra sense in a compound full of other people might effect this. not even once.  

Sasuke rolls his eyes, crosses his arms and clearly announces, “We won’t work together again after this.”

Karin and Suigetsu stop squabbling to turn to look at him.

Sasuke shrugs, “I’m going back to Konoha, Suigetsu is going to Kiri, Juugo will stay with Giri and Karin will go to Uzu.”

Karin sniffs delicately. “Back to Konoha?”

karin begins to plan konoha’s downfall. i envision karin as someone with a rather unique personal perspective. she is sasuke focused but its because she literally just thinks differently. i had a little bit for her that was about how uzumaki seals are literally a kind of meta-magic and thats why mito changed the game so much. to be able to use them effectively you have to be able to look at the world strangely. anyway. konoha will never recover from this.  

In Oto there were war orphans, normal orphans, freed slaves, second or third generation missing-nin, the odds and ends of clans that had died off, those who had seen their entire families exterminated and those who did the exterminating. In Oto there was no safe dinner conversation.

Except, of course, for the food.

fucks. it fucks. 

Juugo chuckles and waves him off. Sasuke is dead certain they’ll meet again. Maybe he’ll find them himself in a few years. He takes one last look behind him, sharingan on, and then leaves quickly and quietly. It’s not a bad snapshot to have. Karin has resorted to using her chains to manage Suigetsu, who is either helping the fire or taking the longest possible route to putting it out, Juugo is calling the small woodland animals and pets out of their homes. There’s an enterprising rabbit on his head. Suigetsu has one sword and Karin has the other. They’re all smiling.

favourite bit of favourite chapter. does not fuck. does gently cuddle and give glowing aftercare. 

Walking is in itself a refreshing experience. For the first time in his life there’s nothing to rush to. It’s a free sky: so high, so blue. So filled with things that he’s never seen before. He flicks his sharingan on and off. At sunset the sky fills with the lush pink and orange of change. At night the stars are so bright it feels like he’s counting the freckles on some great dragon’s back. At dawn he lies in the grass and lets the light wake him. He takes a long path winding his way down and around to his birthplace. He has one goal left, one last thing to do before it’s all done and he never thought he’d get this far. There is so little between him and the freedom to finally, finally put this all to rest.

So for the first time he lets himself linger.

The stars lead him into the mouth of a valley, green and bright with flowers. He doesn’t put people to places very often. People are memories. He sees them clearly enough. But he’ll cast a look onto the calm water and think Juugo, onto the high point of a knife and think Yumi, onto the twisting branches of an out of place blooming flower and think Sakura. In darker moments he names the other things. A tree changing out of season, riddled with the beautiful but deadly rings of a strangling vine earns Orochimaru. Just as a black expanse that appears in the middle of night is called father. Just as the ephemeral falling of flowers, the scent, is mother.

The clear sky is called Naruto. The fading mist of dawn is called Brother.

sometimes you’ve just gotta let the prose happen. and then make it sad at the end. i wrote paragraphs about naruto and itachi here and deleted it because haha sasuke WILL NOT THINK ABOUT IT like hes not really thinking about his suicidal ideation. i did recieve more than one comment that was like ‘......wait he wants to kill himself?’ haha! yeah! body made for one thing! he has yet to decide a man is allowed to have multiple life purposes. 

“Please,” the woman begs, “please, my child. Take her. Please.”

this is not JUST about how much sasuke would like to save children its just MOSTLY about sasuke being the only one around to do it, and hinata. eventually. 

“Sasuke.” Kakashi says.

“Sensei.” Sasuke says automatically. “Hatake. Hatake Kak-”

kakashi, heart in his throat, thinking today is the day he has to kill his sort of son and lose the rest in the grieving: sasuke

sasuke, holding a baby: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Sasuke scowls and shakes his head, looking down at the bundle in his arms. “This is a goddamn baby Hatake.” Then, softer, “It’s a baby. I have to take it somewhere safe.”

kakashi, soothed by the pardon, worried about all of that: sasuke

sasuke, holding a baby he is EMOTIONAL about: AHHHHHHHHHHH

Fuyuki is still radiating smugness as she lets them out. She plucks the baby from his arms, tucking it into hers. Sasuke almost groans, Kakashi is approaching a sulk at break neck speed. As he crosses the threshold of her home Fuyuki grabs him by the end of his hair and yanks, “Oh, Uchiha?”

Sasuke scowls as he pulls out of her hold. “Fucking what Hashira?”

She smiles, baby stuffing the length of her hair in it’s mouth. Sasuke looks at them both and feels an odd sense of accomplishment. Fuyuki mimes a scissoring action. “Cut your hair.”

i’m not going to do the first chapter but this. absolutely. slams. sasuke’s hair is so important but the hair thing was a specific thing about honor and service. about the redemption that a lot of missing nin feel in giri, the longer their hair the more they’ve done to repent. even if sasuke never quite gets it he actually doesn’t cut his hair until after this.and its not by much. 

[dizzybelief]

alright imma spam about The Circle and i’m not sorry about it and imma talk about every player, as if anybody cares but here is my ranking on them too and i know i’m hella late to this too but like better late than ever anyways here’s my least to favorite:

13. adam/alex: I could not stand him at all. Catfish and IRL. The way he entered the game was awful, dont know how he made it as far as he did. Don’t know why they wouldve chosen him over miranda. I don’t know, but he was so uncomfortable. I genuinely don’t care if he was married, he just seemed like the guy to get upset if you didn’t send him a nude. I don’t know. He was weird.

12. ed and tammy: I couldn’t stand this mother and son duo AT ALL, too. I thought tammy was gonna be the one who was going to be cat fishing as ed but when they worked together the whole thing was completely off. I don’t give a FUCK if he was a helicopter engineer, you know DAMN WELL he was a shitty ass person. The fact that they REALLY thought they were gonna win over rebecca is beyond me. Message: ‘NEXT’ send.

11. bill: I honestly didn’t care for him lmfao. He was just there, but the fact that he lost over alex, that made me mad lmao. Anyways, yawn.

10. miranda: I also didn’t really care for miranda either, definitely preferred her than most but she was a lil annoying for a bit lmao. She’s pretty and what not but personality wise, it was eh. Good for Joey, tho. Shooby is better.

9. antonio: Couldn’t care less. We get it, you are professional basketball player. That isn’t a personality trait, say something else.

8. alana: She was also another white girl, but it was funny because she acted EXACTLY how you would think a white girl would act. The minute she found out Chris was gay she was literally the “YASS GIRL! SLAY QUEEN!!” for sure was the “I do it for the gays and that’s it.” type of person, which I didn’t mind. But honestly super stereotypical lmfao. it would’ve been interesting to see where she could’ve landed in the game. The “Skinny Queens” chat was the cherry on top with her, everyone else just took it the wrong way. Sammie for sure didn’t have to act the way she did with that chat name lmfao.

7. sean: Loved her! super sweet! Definitely should’ve came in without cat fishing, but it is what it is! It was understandable. For sure should’ve made it further than ed and tammy, but WHATEVER, we don’t discuss that. I appreciated the representation with the whole plus-size thing as well. Again, she’s super sweet and came in with good intentions. I feel like a 7 is a good rank for her. I would’ve loved to have seen a Sean and Seaburn duo. <3

6. mercedez/karyn: I LOVED HER BOND WITH CHRIS!! AND CALLING HERSELF MOMMA WITH SHOOBY AND CHRIS WAS ALSO SUPER CUTE. I wish she would’ve stayed longer. Anyways, for sure would love to see her play again as karyn!!

5. sammie: I love sammie, but the only thing I didn’t really like was that she was quick to point fingers. She had all rights to do so though, but when she immediately didn’t like alana bc of a group chat name (which of course, alana didn’t have bad intentions with it) was a lil petty. But other than that, she played a really good game. I loved the bi representation (along with miranda) too!

4. shubham/shooby: I didn’t like him at first with the whole “social media is the bubonic plague” vibe at first. BUUUUUT, he was honestly one of the most adorable players in the game and I could 100% agree on everyone loving him for who he was. I felt SO bad with the whole rebecca/seaburn situation but I’m so happy he took it super well considering how he didn’t take it too well with Sean. Social media can fuck you up a lot, which is true on shooby’s end, but I hope he actually tries it out and see it’s good side of it as well. He was honestly a hit or miss. He would get on my nerves too cause sometimes he’d be on high horse about the whole “social media being awful” thing. Other than that, his and Joey’s bromance is also the cutest thing in the world. Don’t hate him, and he does seem super sweet and protective no matter what. At the end of the day, he was playing a game and he played it really good, hence on him getting top influencer 4 times in a row lmfao.

3. joey: I DIDN’T LIKE HIM AT FIRST (but literally everyone and their mom would say the same thing) BUT HE GREW ON ME AND IS THE CUTEST PERSON TO EXIST. He was honestly good at what he did. Super proud of him! Deserves the world. Such a cute momma’s boy. Has my heart.

2. chris: okay okay okay okay. chris has my whole heart, too. I feel like I could feel genuine love from him with everyone in the game and that was beautiful. His faith in God was also so amazing, considering that he’s gay AND MEXICAN, that was a boundary broken for the whole “how can you be gay and also believe in god” thing. Especially in the hispanic community since it’s so taboo to be gay and also love god. I just loved that and I completely felt such a strong connection with him. I wish I could give him a hug. <3 UGH CHRIS I LOVE YOU <333

1. rebecca/seaburn: ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, HANDS DOWN, MY FAVORITE PLAYER TO DATE! HE IS SO FUNNY AND PLAYED SUCH A GOOD FUCKIN GAME AND NO ONE HIS GIVING HIM THAT CREDIT!!!!! SEABURN DESERVES THE WORLD. I WOULDVE LOVEDDDD TO BE HIS FRIEND IN THE GAME AND IRL LMFAOO. SEABURN WAS SO BAD AT BEING A CATFISH THAT IT WAS GOOD LMAO. SEABURN, YOU DAMN LEGEND. AHHHHHHHHHHH. love u bitch.

There you guys go. I said what I said. Goodnight!

[megamindsecretlair]

Oh this is fn perfect 😩 chefs fn kiss 😩😩😩

I am in complete awe at how you write reader. Soft and strong, taking when she want, bold when she needs to be, but still sweet at her core. She's everything to me 😩😩😩

And this chapter ??? 👀👀😩🙌🏽

Your heart didn’t stand a chance against him, you realized, it really didn’t and you didn’t mind in the slightest.

My heart don't stand a chance either 😩😩

The realization that the thigh slit of your gown was eye level with him made you pause, because if you shifted your weight, your leg would be on display through the fabric.

Okay but THIS was everything. The teasing???? The chemistry between these two 😩😩😩😩🙌🏽

“Can you help me with my dress?” your pulse raced, reaching out to touch his tie, your fingers moving to feel over his shoulder, eyes flicking up to his, thighs clenching on their own accord at the way he was looking at you.

I will eat this up every time it shows up anywhere. Every single last time. It never fails 😩🙌🏽

It was the fact that you were nearly naked in his arms while he sat, still fully clothed, the contrast igniting your desire tenfold.

Also something else that licks my brain every time. Every single time.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh, fn Bruce 😩😕😭 I get it, I get it. I'm cool, I'm cool 😩

I'm so glad I found this series. It's absolutely fantastic 🙌🏽

The Gentleman Chapter 2: Sugar Plum

Alfred Pennyworth x Black Dancer!Reader

Summary: First dates are for getting swept off your feet

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, age gap mentions, lots of fluff, mutual pining and flirting, major protective!alfred vibes, smut: thigh/lap grinding, oral (reader receiving), praise kink, voice kink

Word Count: 6.3k

[series masterlist] [series playlist]

Time had passed agonizingly slow much of the week leading up to your date with Alfred. You were restless and eager for more time spent with him, your daydreams filled with memories of that kiss.

It was the kind of kiss that made your heart flutter, and your head dizzy, sparking a thousand little fires inside you all at once and not a single one had waned or been extinguished since.

The week had also been spent wrestling between wanting to lean into how good this connection felt already and scolding yourself for wanting to at the same time.

Getting wrapped up in your head about it all came naturally, figures, but you did your best to stay present, optimistic, indulging yourself just a little in daydreams about being his, about getting to kiss him any time you wanted.

On the surface, you’d done much better at concealing the eruption of emotions ricocheting inside you than expected, throwing yourself into work, your dancing, tending The Iceberg’s bar on the nights you weren’t on stage. It kept you busy and out of your head which was exactly what you needed.

Kiera was the only one amongst your dancer friends who knew about Alfred, her ability to just spot these things catching you off guard even after becoming so close.

You had tried to play it cool that night at The Magpie but couldn’t escape her questions about whose coat it was you were wearing, or why your eyes kept searching the tables, or who you snuck off to meet on the balcony earlier. And despite your hesitations on speaking of it too soon, it felt good to gush about it, her excitement for you putting some of your nervous tension at ease.

“This is already so romantic! Do you know where he’s gonna take you?”

“I know! He’s been so charming, it’s kinda all I can think about lately. But he’s taking me Downtown, to Tony’s,” you couldn’t help but laugh at her exaggerated jaw drop.

“Girl! Good for you! He’s so attractive and he’s right, you do deserve this.”

It was the reminder of that, his words, that made you take a proper deep breath for the first time all week as you got ready a little while before he was going to pick you up, taking your time, making the moment special.

Sifting through your collection of vinyl records, you decided on a favorite album of yours, putting it on as you went through your getting ready routine, laying out a few outfits to choose from after, going for something warm and comfortable but something you also still felt beautiful in.

The excitement and anticipation had fully set in once you finished adding the final touches to your makeup and jewelry, making sure the accent pins nestled in the tight coils of your curls were in place, not surprised but heart still beating fast at the punctual knock on your front door right on the hour.

Giving yourself one last once over you greeted Alfred with a happy sigh, a moment of slow motion hanging in the air as you took each other in.

You were acutely aware of his eyes on you, sliding down your form, his expression one of full admiration, and you, doing the same to him, resisting the urge to visibly swoon over how pristinely he was dressed, or how quietly confident he stood before you, gold handled cane in hand.

“Oh wow, darling, you look so beautiful! How are you?” the smooth gravel of his voice doing more to give you goosebumps than the chill outside.

His compliment had you beaming shyly, “I’m good, I’ve been looking forward to this all day so it’s gotten a lot better now that you’re here, and you don’t look so bad yourself.” you teased, thanking him quickly after when he moved to hold your purse as you slipped your coat on.

“I’m glad to hear it…shall we?” The gentle offering of his hand made your stomach flutter as you nodded, your hand sliding into his like a seamless fit, a warm comfort following his touch.

On the drive to the restaurant, you couldn’t help but peek at him, taking in details.

The way his hands looked on the steering wheel of the sleek Audi, how elegant his movements were without even trying, how even the mundane act of him driving made you feel things, just how unfairly handsome he looked in profile, the neat trim of hair framing his jaw perfectly, the relaxed but still perfect posture giving a broadness to his frame, to his arms and shoulders that you couldn’t stop thinking of touching.

Everything about him interested you and you were nearly helpless to the pull.

Once you arrived the feeling only deepened, Alfred giving his name for the dinner reservations he’d made, your hand tucked under his arm as you were led through the romantic and swanky restaurant to a quieter, more private section.

You let him pull your chair out for you before you got comfortable at the intimate table for two, appreciating how special and thought out this felt, the bubble of chatter from the other guests dimmed but still near, the atmosphere soft and inviting.

Slipping into conversation was easy as you browsed over the menu together and decided on what to order.

“I have to admit, I was a bit worried of what you’d think of me asking to take you out,” Alfred chuckled when you recounted your anticipation of the week leading up to this, “I know I’m a much older man and I just hope you didn’t think I was trying to take advantage.”

Your own laugh bubbled up softly as you reassured him that you didn’t think that at all, “I appreciate your concern, I know there’s a bit of an age gap but it doesn’t bother me, how we ended up meeting was a little crazy but your generosity in helping me and then running into you again…I just knew there was something there and was hoping to spend more time with you.”

“Good, I’m relieved to hear that, and I hope you haven’t had any more trouble being followed or harassed, I’ve been meaning to ask about that, I’ve been worried.”

His added concern about the incident that had thrust you into his arms, quite literally, reminded you of some information about your stalker you had learned recently that you were trying not to think about.

Telling him the truth, that you hadn’t had any more issues recently but deciding for now to leave out that your boss had ordered one of his men to follow you that morning, an intimidation tactic in response to your insolence.

You didn’t want to worry Alfred any more than he already was, because frankly it wasn’t a surprise to learn Oz was the one behind it and you didn’t want to sour the mood of tonight, determined to enjoy this.

Eventually, the conversation moved towards other things as your food arrived at the table and you both dug in, learning that Alfred oversaw business ventures and financials and a whole slew of things at Wayne Enterprises alongside Mr. Wayne who’d been out in the public eye more often lately and was helping him and Mayor Bella Reàl amend damages unintentionally caused by the Renewal Fund.

You loved hearing him talk even though he was reserved with his words, hungry to know whatever he’d tell you about himself and silently promising to care for every tidbit you acquired, wanting to earn his trust.

“But enough about me, I seem to remember you mentioning you danced in a show the other night, are you a ballerina?”

Your amused laugh made him look up from his dish, a curious flicker to his eyes as you began to explain.

“I have a ballet background for sure, it was my first introduction to dance and what made me fall in love with the art, I was a ballerina for a time growing up but I’m an exotic burlesque kind of girl now.”

“Ah, would I be embarrassingly wrong in saying, exotic burlesque as in Moulin Rouge?”

“No actually, you’re on the money! That’s the same vibe of The Iceberg Lounge. All the dancers get a solo slot in each show to perform, we make a full production out of it really, the shows have elements of tango and cabaret, ballet, and pole dancing too, I like that I get some freedom to make it my own and our costume designers are actual saints because I always feel so luxurious in their pieces on stage!”

You realized you had begun to ramble a bit, caught up in your joy about the parts of your job you adored but was happy to see he didn’t mind, he encouraged you to continue actually, answering more of his questions about it.

It felt good to be shown this kind of interest, to know he wouldn’t dismiss you, that he didn’t seem to think anything less of you because of the kind of dancer you were, tethering you further to that feeling of safety and understanding he’d given you from the moment you met.

The conversation eventually flowed back to him, unable to keep your questions at bay, listening intently as he explained how he had ended up here in Gotham, your interest piqued at how he was former British Intelligence, MI6 to be exact, though the revelation was fitting once it sank in, he was exactly the kind of man you’d think of when it came to that sort of thing.

And then the surprise softened when he recounted how he ended up in the service of The Wayne’s once he retired from the Intelligence business.

Your heart lurched when you learned he had been a bodyguard for Thomas and Martha Wayne, had been in their lives since Bruce was just a small boy, a sad fondness in his tone talking about those early days, telling you that he’d been named Bruce’s caretaker when they had passed, a proud smile creeping back onto his features as he talked about Bruce at your insistence.

It warmed your heart to hear about their bond, that it hadn’t always been easy or smooth sailing especially as Bruce had gotten older, grief and growing pains coming to the surface as he entered adulthood.

But things had gotten better in the past year, their relationship on more solid ground now, and it wasn’t hard to see the utmost pride and love pouring from the older man as he spoke about Bruce. You could tell he was like a father to him; whatever the circumstances were, he’d always care for him as his own.

The hours passed quickly much to your dismay, not realizing how long you’d spent talking even after dinner had been finished, good wine and butterflies warming your belly as you relaxed, admiring him quietly as he paid and offered his hand out to you again when it was time to leave.

You kept yourself tucked close as you walked to the car, thankful for the heat his body provided and of course just to be in his space, hands twined together, reluctant to let go as you reached his car.

Everything about tonight had been perfect and you didn’t want it to end but had a good feeling that there would be more dates to go on, the feeling made certain when Alfred walked you back to your apartment, finding yourself pressed gently against the door, his lips on yours, the first time since the kiss in his office.

God, how he managed to make you so weak kneed was a question you still didn’t have an answer to but you didn’t mind in the slightest, sighing softly as you kissed him back, your hand resting against his chest while his own cupped the side of your face, hands warm and sweet.

If you didn’t have to breathe, you were sure you’d never stop kissing but even the deprivation of oxygen was made sweet by him.

“I had a lovely time tonight, darling and I hope you did too. You’ve really been all that’s on my mind since we met and I’m glad for it, I want you to know that, and if you’d allow me, I want to see you again, whenever you’re comfortable.”

Alfred spoke carefully, but steadfast in his words, your heart fluttering for the dozenth time tonight when he leaned in again to touch his forehead to yours, then pulling back a bit, giving you space to think, to answer.

The words weren’t hard to come by, “Likewise, Alfred. I’d love to see you again too! I’ll be on stage for the next handful of nights and I know you’re busy too but I want to spend time with you again soon. Thank you for a wonderful first date, I don’t think I’ve felt this special in quite awhile.”

“You deserve to feel special, and it’s a bit selfish of me maybe but I’m happy to be the one to make you feel that way. Thank you, my dear, for such a good evening.”

That familiar reluctance to let go was back as you said goodnight upon hushed promises to be in touch soon, Alfred waiting till you’d fished out your keys and were safely inside before he made his way home too.

Everything had fallen into place just right.

-

In the days after the date, your world seemed to shift, to expand, a new space created for these new and bubbling feelings, a certain sprinkle of something magical brightening up your world now that Alfred was slowly becoming part of it.

Phone calls from him now went from once every couple days to hours spent talking nearly every night, even when he was working late, even when you were exhausted from dancing and rehearsing hours on end.

Time spent talking to each other made all the sense in the world.

It’s in one of your nightly calls that spending an evening together again came up, with Alfred admitting that he’d come calling about that second date, had already planned it out and intended it to be a bit of a surprise but just couldn’t resist when you asked.

Chuckling at your muffled squeal through the phone when he told you he had two tickets to Gotham City Ballet’s Nutcracker and would be delighted to treat you to it.

You were beaming at how thoughtful his planning had been, a direct callback to something you’d told him during your first date, that during your ballet days you had auditioned for the production of The Nutcracker your dance studio put on, finding yourself lucky enough to be chosen as the Sugar Plum Fairy.

You had adored dancing the role, telling him how this time of year always brought back fond memories, that it had been quite some time since you’d actually gone to see a ballet but your love for it never faded.

It meant a great deal that he picked up on that detail and made it something you could share with him.

Kiera nearly lost her mind when you told her about it, arriving at your door in record time soon after to help you go through outfit choices to match the elegance of a night out at the ballet.

There was one gown tucked away in your closet that you thought would do nicely, the semi-plunging neckline and low leg split of the fabric giving you a happy excuse to wear it out somewhere, to wear it for him.

It had been the perfect choice judging by the way Alfred had looked at you when he came to pick you up that night, his gaze leaving you a flustered mess.

Any and every compliment was given, each of them ones you’d remember and cherish, thinking there’s nothing else that could outdo the heady boost his words gave you, only to be met with another little surprise; a bright and beautiful bouquet of pink and red roses awaited you in the car.

This felt like such a fairytale you sometimes wondered if you should pinch yourself.

“These are so beautiful! Thank you for this, oh my gosh, and they smell amazing!”

“I was happy to, love! Although I’m sure I annoyed the florist with how long I spent choosing it. I’m a bit particular when it comes to roses and you should only have the best.”

Your heart didn’t stand a chance against him, you realized, it really didn’t and you didn’t mind in the slightest.

-

Gotham’s opera house was rife with activity, a hub of chatter and the rhythmic tap of Alfred’s cane against the floor as he moved with you, smooth in his approach as he offered to take your coat to the coat check before going off to your seats.

Once he sidled away with them in hand, you took a moment to people watch, your attention snagged upwards as you admired the high sloping, ornate ceilings when a low wolf whistle drew your attention, the content expression on your face evaporating instantly.

Out of all places, here and now was where you least expected to run into Johnny Charisma, one of the cabaret singers who often performed at The Iceberg.

Him and Oz were one in the same, big ego, sleazy behavior, the type of men who liked to poke and harass and get in your face.

Your attention shifted back to people watching in the opposite direction, hoping Alfred would be back soon when Johnny moved to be in your line of sight.

“Man, does that dress do wonders for your ass, darlin, thought Oz didn’t let his girls out of his sight, you here with him?”

“Nope. I don’t have time nor am I here for you or him, actually. I’m on a date and wanna be left alone, thanks.” you wanted to gag at his use of that pet name, repulsed by the leery edge to his tone.

You knew he wouldn’t care, knew that he relished in how uncomfortable he was making you but hoped just this once he’d take the hint.

“Aww come on, baby, I haven’t seen you in forever and that’s how you treat me?”

“Jesus Christ, I’m not your baby and yeah that’s what happens when you get kicked out of the Lounge for assaulting the dancers, if I weren’t in this dress I’d kick your ass for that again.”

He was about to retort with something but a familiar hand was at your back, sliding across to rest at your waist. Alfred had returned.

“Excuse me, is he bothering you, love?”

A tingle ran down your spine, not anticipating that Alfred would be behind you so suddenly, pressing close to you, his presence enveloping, protective.

“I’m okay, he was just leaving.” you moved your hand to his still on your waist, squeezing his fingers comfortingly.

You weren’t sure how much of that Alfred had heard but judging by the tension in his body language he’d caught the bad vibe.

Maybe you should explain, and you would later you decided but wanted to exit the current situation as quickly and easily as possible.

“I don’t think we’ve met, the name’s Johnny Charisma, maybe you’ve heard of me, and you are?” he stuck his hand out in greeting but Alfred made no moves to shake his hand.

It made you want to laugh, just how “not about it” Alfred was towards him off the bat, feeling less uncomfortable now that he was here.

Silence blanketed the moment as Alfred looked him up and down just once before speaking.

"That’s an astounding amount of confidence in your choice of a stage name for someone who lacks any shred of charisma at all. Leave the lady be, you heard her.”

Oh. Why was that so attractive to you?

Something about the clipped and stern tone in Alfred’s voice was doing things to you.

Not to mention him standing up for you. The fact that it didn’t feel patronizing spoke volumes, because yes you had stood up for yourself but you also didn’t have to, because Alfred continued to show you that he’d have your back.

Then the stifled giggle you had held in broke free at the snark in Alfred’s voice, the quip of his so tastefully done.

Johnny was visibly more than displeased and somehow that made it all the better.

“Sure thing, you just be careful with that one, she’s just a golddiggi-…” he stops short and you realize it's the quiet fury in Alfred's eyes that has him falling silent.

“Oh by all means, continue. It'd bloody well make my night if you did."

That was all the threat needed for the singer to scoff and walk away, the crease between Alfred’s brow smoothing as he finally whisked you away to take your seats.

“Hey, thank you for that,” you squeezed his arm as you walked, peeking at him shyly, a sudden wave of worry at what he might be thinking of you settling in, still learning to read his always polite and stoic face.

“And about what he said, I don’t want you to think I’m only interested in this for money or-“ but he was gently hushing you before you could finish.

“I know, darling, you don’t have to explain. I don’t want you worrying about that.”

A breath of relief left your lungs and you nodded, resigning to put the moment behind you, because he trusted you too and that’s what mattered.

His hand never parted from you as you found your seats on the upper balcony level, your breathing going shallow at how natural his hand felt resting against your thigh as you sat down.

Your entire body buzzing at the weight of his touch, the protective pressure making you want to clench your thighs together at the ache blooming in your core.

The lights in the opera house dimmed and you gave his fingers an excited squeeze as the stage curtain was pulled back, the familiar notes of the music beginning.

You don’t think the smile left your face for the entire show, unable to help but gush about how much you loved this all during intermission, exchanging your favorite parts, Alfred’s hand still warm and comforting against your thigh.

The unmistakable little gasp of anticipation you gave making him chuckle slightly next to you during the Waltz of the Snowflakes, one of your favorite dances in the ballet, just wishing you could be twirling amongst the falling snow on the stage, in love with how dreamy and romantic the scene was.

You felt so special to share this with him, to have this be one of your first dates with him, it felt right, being next to him, like it’s right where you belonged.

-

After, in the car, you felt giddy with the romance of it all. Thinking of just how great of a time you had tonight, being on his arm, feeling like you were his tonight, remembering how he had defended you, how protective and caring he’d been with you the entire night.

It left you feeling bold, wanting to try something, to reward him with a little bit of teasing.

You were watching him through your lashes as he drove you home, your attention always seeming to snag on his hands on the steering wheel, almost wanting to laugh at how turned on he made you just from doing the simplest actions.

Shifting in your seat so he’d notice, you let the slit of your dress fall open just a tad from where it had ridden up, baring the skin of your thigh, pretending to fiddle with something in your small clutch before you let your fingers subtly slide across your skin there.

His audible, deep breath in was your indication that he’d seen the gesture, leaving you even more restless when his hand left the wheel to rest against where your fingers had been, his thumb swiping across your skin gently.

Just like your first date he walked up to your door, still feeling something lingering there, something you wanted to explore, not wanting to end the night just yet.

“Hey, would you like to come in for a bit? I know it’s getting late but…”

“I’d love to, it’s not too late, I promise.”

He held your roses for you while you unlocked the door and the warmth and coziness of your apartment welcomed you.

Telling him to make himself comfortable, you shed your coat and set your clutch bag and keys aside, leaving his side to head to the kitchen, getting your bouquet situated in a proper vase.

Once you felt satisfied with the display you returned to the living room, leaning against the wall as you undid the straps of your heels, not getting very far before Alfred was at your side, coat and suit jacket off now, crouching down to help steady you as one foot met the floor, your hand gripping his shoulder as you leaned against him to remove the other.

The realization that the thigh slit of your gown was eye level with him made you pause, because if you shifted your weight, your leg would be on display through the fabric.

It took you all but two seconds to decide to make the move, holding your breath as his eyes tracked up from your discarded heels to your calf and then your knee and the bit of your thigh poking through.

It was an invitation you hoped he would accept. Letting go of your worry that you were moving in this direction too fast for his liking, focusing only on how much you wanted him.

“I don’t want you to go yet…” you admitted without shame, sighing softly when he stood up, taking a step closer to you, the wall meeting your back.

“Then I’ll stay for as long as you want me here. Is there anything else you’d like, sweetheart? Tell me...”

His voice had dropped low, an edge, a huskiness to his tone that made you dizzy with want.

All that teasing had caught up to you, now seeing how it had affected him, how much he was wanting you too.

“Can you help me with my dress?” your pulse raced, reaching out to touch his tie, your fingers moving to feel over his shoulder, eyes flicking up to his, thighs clenching on their own accord at the way he was looking at you.

“Absolutely…bedroom?”

Your eager nod was all it took and he was stepping away for a moment, giving you space to move from the wall, trailing close behind as you led him to your room.

The air seemed to evaporate the moment you shut the door, moving further into the room, sinking your toes in the plush rug near your vanity, removing some of your jewelry, the pins in your hair, mirroring him as he fished his phone and keys out of his pants pocket, setting them on your nightstand along with his cufflinks.

You were suddenly acutely aware of him inching closer then, turning to face away from him until his hand was ghosting over your back, your shoulder, finding the side zipper on your gown.

“Darling?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to do this, we can go as slow as you’d like, just as long as you know there’s no pressure from me. I only want you to be comfortable.”

His sincerity made you melt inside, appreciative that he was looking out for you, always. It’s perhaps what made your desire for him so much stronger, knowing you’d be safe in his hands.

“I know, but I want this. I want you. You’ve taken such good care of me already and I’ve been wanting you to touch me all night.”

The confession slipped from your lips easily, your walls coming down gently as he pulled the zipper down slow, humming at your words.

“Oh, me too. God, you have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to touch you.”

With the dress now loose against your body, you shimmied out of it the rest of the way, letting it pool at your feet, sighing softly when Alfred moved closer, your back pressing against his chest, his head dipping down to kiss your shoulder.

“You are so stunning you know that? Just look at you…I’m so lucky.” he cooed, voice rough and low against the shell of your ear as his hands roamed, caressing over your arms, your torso, and you, hardly able to breathe, skin hot from his praise as you watched through the mirror of your vanity.

Eventually his light touches weren’t enough, the ache between your thighs growing incessant, turning to face him, your shyness at being so exposed, in only your bra and underwear, fading, letting him see you, knowing there’d be nothing but affection for you.

Your mouths met hungrily, bodies pressing together, with you leading, moving him back until the edge of your bed was colliding with his legs, encouraging him to sit against the mattress.

His hands explore much to your delight, caressing and gripping, making their way down to cup your ass while your arms thread across his shoulders, pulling him impossibly closer.

The hand still kneading the muscle of your backside eventually gripped you more firmly, pulling your leg up so your knee was on the bed in a halfway straddle of his lap.

You took the hint, doing the same with your other leg, letting him situate you against his body, your heart pounding at how sturdy he was, strong arms coming up to support your torso while his mouth moved down to kiss and nip at the column of your neck, then further down to your breasts.

It was the fact that you were nearly naked in his arms while he sat, still fully clothed, the contrast igniting your desire tenfold.

You held back from doing much, unsure how far to go but was given an answer when Alfred’s hands moved down to your hips, pushing down, moving your core against his lap, encouraging you to grind against him.

He smiled at your needy whine, swallowing it with a kiss, enjoying the feel of your hands digging into the muscle of his shoulders, and how good you felt in his arms.

It wasn’t long before the need for more came creeping in again, happy when Alfred shifted, taking you with him, laying you down on your back, pausing for a second to check in with you before you were giving him the okay, helping him push your panties down your thighs.

Your knees parted slowly for him, toes pointing as you bared yourself to him, letting him see you, pushing up onto your elbows with a smile when you heard him curse under his breath at the sight, at the way you glistened for him already.

The way he looked at you, like you were good enough to eat was everything, his hands coming up to knead your thighs, slowly working his touch inward, towards the place you want him most.

A sharp, hushed gasp left your lips and your hips jolted when his fingers finally swiped over your folds, collecting your arousal.

“Fuck. Do you always get this wet when I kiss you?”

You couldn’t form words anymore, resigning yourself to nodding in response, whimpering at the searing touch of his fingers rubbing tight circles against your clit now.

Alfred got comfortable next to you on the bed, his lips pressing kisses to your knee and the side of your thigh as he kept his fingers moving, waiting till your hips started to move against them to press kisses along your inner thigh next.

Soft moans and whimpers filled the air the more stimulation he gave you until you were whining for more and he was burying his face in your pussy, tongue flicking out to finally taste you, groaning gruffly against your core.

His tongue felt incredible, swirling against your clit a few times before moving down, hungry to taste you further, lapping at your entrance before repeating the movement.

You shuddered, watching him with heavy lidded eyes, groaning at the prickle of his beard against your skin, your body sensitive, opening up for him.

“That feels so good, Alfred…baby, oh my god.” you cry out when he focuses solely on your clit, figuring out what made your body respond the most.

Your blood felt electric, the sensation of his hands, the weight of them on your hips, broad shoulders keeping your thighs spread wide, it made you squirm in his hold, earning you an amused hum as he continued to lick at your clit.

“Just lay back, sweetheart. I have you,” his sultry voice against your core was the final push, your arms giving out underneath you, laying back against the mattress fully, letting the pleasure take hold of you.

Tilting your head to the side you caught his gaze, the building pressure in your tummy tightening, your body tensing in his arms as you felt it approaching.

“Oh, fuck…I’m so close, please,” your whimper was unbelievably needy, all sense of reservation gone from your mind as you bucked your hips up against his tongue, your hands tugging desperately at the sheets.

Alfred kept himself pressed tight against you as the pleasure reached its peak, your orgasm hitting you hard. He groaned in unison with you, watching as your eyes fluttered shut.

“That’s it, good girl.”

His praise made you clench around nothing as your moans died down, his tongue returning to give you a few more gentle licks before you were reaching down to pull him up.

After catching your breath, he pulled back, standing as you moved to sit on your knees, crawling closer to where he was at the edge of the bed in silent encouragement, gazing up at him with what must have been stars in your eyes.

“Can I?” you bit your lip, still kneeling on the bed, eyeing the strained bulge tenting his dress pants.

“Please,” came the gruff growl, your hand surging forward, palming him, nearly whining at the heaviness, at how thick you could tell he was through his pants.

You peeked up at him to see he was already looking at you, eyes molten, full of need, his hips rocking into your touch.

The heated spell of eye contact was broken by the sharp buzzing of Alfred’s phone on your bedside table.

You began to pull away, distracted by the noise but he reached out to cup your face, pulling you back, and then crushing his lips to yours, the whine in your throat releasing at the taste of yourself on his tongue.

The phone buzzed urgently again and this time Alfred pulled away with an annoyed growl, apologizing for the interruption. You told him it was okay if he needed to take a moment when he let you know it was Bruce who had called, his expression grateful.

While he was busy on the phone you got comfortable, sprawling out across the bed, being patient but teasing him just a little with cheeky movements of your legs, copying the sexy floorwork dances you’d been practicing lately.

“Love, I’m so sorry. I have to cut this short, Bruce needs my assistance tonight, things have been a little busy lately with the company, he’s been under some stress and I’m…” the words were tinged with anxiety and regret but you were stopping him short, rising to press a palm against his bearded cheek.

Because he didn’t have to finish. You understood.

I’m all he has left.

Bruce needed him and you weren’t upset by the change in things, yes it was the untimely and all you wanted right now was to feel him in and around every part of you but, you bargained that you could wait a little while more. Alfred was more than worth the wait.

The reassurance in your response seemed to remedy his worry, “Thank you for being so good to me, I promise I will be picking this up where we’ve left off as soon as there’s time.”

“That’s all I was going to ask for, and of course. You made tonight so amazing.” you leaned in to touch your forehead to his, trying to behave despite the temptation to pull him back into bed.

As dismayed as you were to not have him to yourself for longer tonight, watching him redo his tie and make himself look presentable again was a nice treat.

Any chance you’d get to admire him was welcome and you didn’t miss the way he was admiring you too as he put his cufflinks back on.

He wished you goodnight at the door, pressing a sweet little kiss to your forehead before he was off, waiting till he was pulling down the street to head back to your room, a warmth flooding your body at the glimpse of the roses he’d given you on the dining room table.

Maybe you were getting ahead of yourself, caught up in the physical attraction, your heart speaking louder than your head but there was something about this, with him that felt solid.

Feelings were messy and scary and you weren’t completely sure what you were feeling at this point but you did know you wanted to let this take you wherever it would, knowing Alfred would handle you carefully the entire way.

You were safe in his hands and you hoped he felt safe in yours too.

—————

A/N: It’s finally here! Ahh this really has been such a blast to write! Also hope all those who’ve played the Batman games liked the little nod to the Johnny Charisma character I included in the story! I just felt like he fit the vibe well! And of course Alfred has my entire heart, I hope this was as dreamy as I tried to write it!

Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think! Love y’all! 💌

some tags! @eupheme @obiknights @thaddeuscranes @flamingdisputes @allaboardthereadingrailroad @squidlywiddly87 @ozarkthedog @aislupu @kneelforloki @xnodamsel @mariahthelioness29 @saradika

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Toilet-bound Hanako-kun Chapter 20: Mitsuba (Part 3)

Previously: the feels came and hit me like a train. Mitsuba’s story was heartbreaking and I wanted nothing more than give him all the nice things he deserves and never got to experience ;; We also had another chapter of Kou being a Very Good Boy ™ and their friendship made me smile so much…...well, until he arrived…...and that happened…….and the angst also hit me like a train. Oh yeah, we also had some great exposition regarding plot-related stuff which made me ask a lot of question (but that’s not new with me lol). Hanako is coming to the scene right now and I’m :)) scared :))))

Now onto the next chapter!

Guess who’s really late again??? I really have no excuse other than me having a really bad attention span (also A3! has taken over my life pls send help)

Anyway!

Oh wow, this cover page has A Lot to disect.. The main thing my eyes were drawn to is Hanako’s expression and the fact that he’s holding the bloodied knife. He looks shocked and sad, and he’s gonna go face his brother (that he killed) and I’m terrified ahhhhh Another thing! The ropes that are tying them together: now, from what I see, the ropes are tying all of them up except for Kou; like, the main connection I always associate with Yashiro and Hanako is their bond, but then the connection between Hanako and Mitsuba is that they’re both dead. It looks like all the ropes are interconnected though and I...I don’t like the implications that my brain is coming up with right now………...Yashiro baby please be safe, okay? Like, it could also mean that Mitsuba is gonna form some sort of bond with Hanako, but let’s be real, what would bring the biggest amount of angst? Exactly. From what I’ve seen so far, the covers have elements that are relevant to the plot and I feel like there’s a lot of things here that could be concerning :))))

Ahhhh okay let’s keep going

So we’re back with Not-Hanako and Kou after Sakura changed Mitsuba’s rumor and turned him into THAT. And you guys remember how I mentioned that it unsettles me when Hanako smiles creepily and his eyes turn dark? Well

I’m incredibly unsettled right now.

Okay so Mitsuba’s wish was too vague for Not-Hanako to turn him into something more than a “half-done supernatural”. He didn’t know what he wanted to do but he knew that he wanted people to remember him. But thanks to Kou, now he knows his actual wish: friends. Mitsuba just wants to stay with his friends and oh, can you hear that???? that’s the sound of my heart breaking (again).

Kou is understadably pissed but Not-Hanako is ignoring him, and he mentions that the more people Mitsuba gets to remember him, the longer he will be able to stay there. And yeah, it checks out with what we know about supernaturals since Tsuchigomori mentioned that it’s easier for him since he can spread his own rumors.

Oh………...oh no………...Mitsuba baby no pls  (;;⚆_⚆)

Yeah, this ties to what he said before about “if that’s enought to break the world then it’s better off broken”. It seems like he just wants everyone to let go of their morals and see where that lead them. Also “the price of this wish is your mind”, does he mean like, his conciousness? his ability to discern right from wrong? Because if he can strip him from that with just his touch (and the rumors) then that’s horrible. Well, I guess that’s what happened with Yako and the Mokke, right? They started killing/stealing/kidnapping people after their rumors changed. 

(ﾟдﾟ；)  Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||) OMFG THAT’S TERRIFYING MAKE IT STOP

oh no, oh no, he’s grabbing Kou and it seems like he’s choking him oh no Mitsuba baby please, I know you’re still there, come on, the power of friendship ™ can bring you back pls

Aw, Kou, sweetie, you weren’t wrong. You gave Mitsuba a good memory and the friend he had always wanted, it’s not your fault that this little shit fucked everything up.

Ahhhhh Hanako is finally here! Oh geez, he cut Mitsuba clean in half ;; But like, he should be fine, right? He also stabbed Yako and she was okay. So Mitsuba should return to his previous form…….right? Please? (;;⚆.⚆)

I really need Not-Hanako to stop being cute, I’m trying to be mad and he unsettles me

!!!!! We finally have a name!!!! I can’t stop calling him Not-Hanako, bless

Awww baby, Hanako is shaking so much :cccc This looks like it’s so hard for him, oh dear

“Back when you killed me” ………………………...ok so that makes it sound like he pushed Hanako to do it, at least in some way………….those wounds and bruises and…..rope marks…….little Amane had when he was alive really aren’t looking good under this lense, I don’t li k e t h i s 

(ﾟдﾟ；) (ﾟдﾟ；) (ﾟдﾟ；) fucking hell, that’s just. yikes. Like, Amane seemed like such a sweet kid, you really have to wonder what was it that made him finally snap, especially in such a way

It really looks like he’s just teasing him even though Amane clearly finds the whole event (and even his brother’s mere presence) traumatizing. It’s weird, Tsukasa seems like he’s doing all this on purpose but he also doesn’t realize that it doesn’t make his brother happy. It has the complete opposite effect, in fact. Even the way he’s standing on his tiptoes, it can just be a cute habit but it also makes him tower slightly over Amane.

Sigh okay, he’s gone, thank you. But!!! Kou is calling out to Mitsuba!! Is he okay??

…………………….oh no. His face says it all, he can’t, he wants to but he can’t

(TдT)(TдT)(TдT) this is so fucking sad. This poor child just wanted a happy (after)life with his friends and he tried, he tried so hard, but every time his chances was snuffed out.

“...we have have no future”

Hmmm…...the way that he’s wording this and what he said during the young exorcist arc gives me the idea that he actually doesn’t like being a supernatural, he thinks there’s really no point to existing after death since he doesn’t grow old nor he can pursue his old dreams. But he HAS to do it; he hates it, but he has a mission so that he can repent for his sins, and his sense of obligation is strong enough that he pleaded for his “life” to Teru, knowing that, in his own eyes, he shouldn’t be here in the first place, And he really did thought that Kou could help Mitsuba in a kinder way so that the ghost would be able to pass on happy but it backfired spectacularly. Living on after you die seems like a truly heart-rending existence.

And there’s only the camera left behind…...No, this-this is fine, I’m fine, this is……. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Oh dear, and now Kou is blaming himself for not being stronger, strong like his brother, strong enough to save Mitsuba. I should have seen it coming, considering we know very well how Kou views his brother as a kind of ideal and, in turn, views himself as not good enough, but it still hurts. And I know it’s because he’s grieving, but he really shouldn’t do this to himself right now.

“I’m pretty sure destruction is the only salvation for the dead.” At first I thought this was a contradiction to what he had said before (about himself) but it really isn’t. He thinks it’s best when the dead are able to disappear from this world, but he doesn’t want salvation for himself, he wants an opportunity to atone. And I wonder if because of that, he sees himself as someone who’s past salvation.

I’m glad that Kou immediately cuts him off and says that’s ridiculous. Because even if Kou is saying it for Mitsuba, I’m pretty sure Hanako also needed to hear that.

Also, it looks like this is the beginning of a very strong grudge against Tsukasa on Kou’s part and I get it but also I’m :))) scared :)))

I mean, I think he’s got a point there. Yeah, the world has rules that the average people can’t change but he has a power not many others (?) have, so him being able to change things in regards to supernaturals doesn’t seem out of the question.

AHHHHHHHHHHH HE FOUND HIS PICTURE

(ಥ﹏ಥ) (ಥ﹏ಥ) (ಥ﹏ಥ)   take a shot every time I wanted to cry during this chapter

Oh!!! we’re at sea with the mermaid and her people! Mr pufferfish died but the other fish survived so he reported back to her.

Oh. So she really did have good intentions by trying to kidnap Yashiro. Not the best method, but her heart was in the right place. BUT ALSO!!! I’m now even more worried about my girl :)))))))) please don’t let anything happen to her ;;

PFFFFFFFFFFFFT why is this me with A3! omfg Yashiro sweetie we could totally bond over mobile games 

Yashiro was summoned by an upperclassman?? Who-oh, wait

Of course, of-fucking-course, hi Natsuhiko, please don’t endanger my daughter, she’s done nothing wrong. 

And that was the end of the chapter. It felt shorter than usual but also incredibly long because it was emotionally taxing ;; that was such a rollercoaster, oh dear

Ohhhhh there’s extras this time around!!

Awwwwwww the ten-times game panels are so precious ;u; especially the parallel between Kou-Teru and Kou-Hanako. The character sheets with the little bits of info are pretty cute as well!

Judging by the preview of the next volume, it seems like Yashiro is gonna have a tea party with the chaotic trio (Sakura doesn’t seem chaotic so far but the other two do so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  sorry not sorry). If they hurt my child istg….

Awwwwwwwwww the middle school entrance pictures are so cute! (Amane’s and Tsukasa’s not so much in context but…...yeah)