#she’s my bestie westie

[dawnofiight]

Now Presenting: Sophia Rhone

[pshawtyy]

this is sooo me and lee core x3 🩷

@leeechin

[crow-quet]

and now we're onto the humans! this is mitsu she is obsessed with anything space or stars related and she is near and dear to my heart

[themostfangtastic]

my teacher: "have any of you obsessed over a band so much where you have to know everything about them and you buy all of their albums"

me: *sweating*

[tfshouldidohere]

ok i'll save up money ig................................................................

[tyrantzeye]

gonna rant ab chu2 s2 in the tags cuz i feel like it

[cosmopretty]

My Shorty

Paige Bueckers x fem

Ice stands up and motions you to get up off of your girlfriend Paige’s lap. You shake your head no, not wanting to be embarrassed on KK’s TikTok live due to your height. The blonde behind you laughs and moves you off of her lap “Come on baby” she whispers.

You walk and stand next to Ice your head only reaching the higher part of her stomach. Everyone starts laughing around you both and you flip them off “Shut up the difference not that bad for real” you say shaking your head. Ice puts her elbow on your head and pretends to start reading comments you shoved her and walk back over to Paige and sitting back on her lap. KK laughs “Thank god Y/n came here because I used to get bullied for being short so thank you Y/n” the 5’9 basketball player laughs as you throw a pillow at her. ”I’m five foot four that’s not even short you guys are just giants like oh my fucking god” you get up and walk to Paige’s room and slam the door. Paige gives KK a look “Come on yall ain’t gotta do all that” the blonde gets up and goes to her room not before giving the live her signature rizz hands and a wink.

You lay on Paige’s bed your head stuffed in the pillow with your hands under it. You went mad at all don’t get it wrong, but it was annoying you how the lives comments were filled with short jokes like most of them weren’t the same height as you or shorter. Paige walks in and closes the door behind her, she climbs on the bed and straddles your hips her hands massaging your back. You turn your head and look at her “I’m sorry for slamming the door” you apologize. Paige shrugs “Baby I don’t care KK is out there telling the live to leave you alone” your girlfriends hands move up to your shoulders.

“Yeah it’s just annoying they point out I’m short for everything I do like it’s not the only thing about me” Paige nods at your words and flips you over so your lying on your back. She kisses you all over your face, you scrunch your nose and grab her cheeks pulling her off of your face “Your so pretty Paigey” the taller girl groans dropping her head into your neck.

“You know I love how your short right? I love how you only reach my chest when I hug you. How I can look over you when you’re standing in front of me so I can protect you. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen you my shorty” Paige tells you her head leaving on top on your stomach. You blush and kiss her nose before getting up from the bed “I love you my shorty” she says from behind you teasing you. You look at her “I love you too now let’s go back to the living room I’m hungry” you walk back over to the rest of the girls and sit next to KK on the couch.

KK hands you some blueberry TruFru and you smile at her before looking at the live and sticking your tongue out. KK words her arm around your shoulders “Your my bestie westie pookie” you make a disgusting face at her words and try to move away from her but she doesn’t let you. You make a fake scared face “HELP ME FROM THIS GREMLIN” you scream as KK starts tickling you. Azzi grabs your legs and drags you off the couch. You glare at her and she raises her hands in a fake surrender “I saved you” she says shrugging. Narrowing your eyes at her Paige lifts you up picking you up bridle style and sitting down on the couch out of the camera frame.

You lay your head on her chest and look over at Azzi “I’m gonna get you back” you point at her. Aubrey laughs at you “Yeah like you could lift more than twenty pounds” she says your head lifting at this.

“I might be short but I’m strong too” you say getting up. Paige nods and points at you “I have taught her well she is strong not as strong as me but she got little muscles” your girl backs you up. KK stands up and moves the camera so it’s facing you both. You look up at KK confused “Pick me up if your so strong tiny” the player says.

Paige nods “I bet twenty bucks that my girl can pick KK up” she says. Aubrey shakes her head “I bet twenty she can’t” the two girls shake in it before watching you and KK.

You bend your knees and wrap your arms around KK’s thighs. Paige smirks at you “Yeah baby just like that use your knees mama” she cheers you on. You pick KK and she squeals and grabs your shoulders shaking her no over and over “PUT ME DOWN YOU SMURF DOWN DOWN” she yells. You laugh and let her go before flexing at the live showing your small muscles “Told yall I got it like that” you smile and go back over to Paige.

She grabs your hand and you both go back to her room since it is around one in the morning. You lay down on her bed and Paige shuts the lights off and pulls you into her, spooning you. She kisses your neck “I knew you were strong baby. My little shorty” you turn your head to face her moving your body around “I’m your shorty but you’re my tall sexy girlfriend” you kiss her and she kisses back sliding her tongue in your mouth. You pull away and she smiles pulling you down into her chest “Go to sleep baby” Paige starts playing with your hair. Before you both slowly fall asleep you in her arms just how she likes it. Her shorty.

Please send requests and ideas

Also 2 story’s in one day WOW

[nattinatalia]

URBAN WYATT X HARLOW SIS : STUDIO TIME

A/N : My timelines are all over the place with this universe so just enjoy. Also, this is where Jack and Clay find out they’re dating 🙊 A huge shoutout to my bestie westie @harlowcomehome for helping me with this.!!!!!!

⚠️ Warning : SMUT AHEAD 18+ ONLY!

“No, no, no.” Jack groans.

“Y/N act right and stop making moaning sounds.” Clay shutters, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not a singer so I don’t know what you want me to do.” You tell them, sitting down on the chair they had inside the booth.

When your brothers invited you to spend the day with them, you didn’t know it would be in the studio or that they would ask you to try to sing a verse to one of Jack’s new songs.

“You’re not supposed to sing, just read it off normal.”

You raise your eyebrows immediately, “Then why does Jack always does that annoying deep voice?”

“I DO NOT.”

Clay laughs, “I’m sorry bro, but she got you there because you do.”

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever, just do the damn verse.”

The door to the studio opens and once you see who it is, you start getting warm all over your body.

“Urb, please help me with her.” Jack exclaims dramatically.

“What did she do now?”

You gasp and face Urban. “Excuse me? I’m not that bad.”

He smirks “Sorry, little one, but you are.”

“Stop calling me little one.” You mumble out, looking down at the piece of paper Jack had handed you.

“Why do you want me to sing this verse anyway? Don’t you have a bunch of little side chicks who would love to be in your little album?”

Jack rolls his eyes, “Clay helps me with the beats, you help me with the chorus. I thought it would be a cool sibling thing to do. But if you don’t want to, you can leave.”

“She wants to do it. She’s just nervous.” Urban speaks up. “Why don’t you two go get some fresh air and I’ll stay here with her.”

“Leave you two alone?.” Clay chuckles. “So you two can kill each other? No thanks.”

“We’re two grown adults, we can put our childhood rivalry aside.” Urban shrugs, taking a sip of his water.

“Okay, fine. I need a little distraction.” Jack says, he grabs his keys and phone. “You know what button to push to record right?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, we’ll be back.”

“Take your time.” You yell out.

Both your brothers walk out the door, but not without giving a double look at both Urban and you.

You quickly take off the headphones you were wearing and stand up.

“Soo.” Urban starts, walking into the little space of the booth. “Need a little distraction?”

You smile, “Get over here and kiss me.”

Urban held his finger up to his lips to shush you, worried your brothers would overhear.

“They can’t hear us over their own thoughts” You rolled your eyes as Urban walked toward you.

He starts placing soft wet kisses against your neck and collarbone, you closed your eyes as you moaned into his ear. The smell of weed and cologne filling the air, only made you want him more.

“Babe, they’re outside” you breathed against him.

“Then we better make it quick” he whispered before grabbing you by the waist and placing you against the soundboard.

Your skirt made it easy for him, using his warm hand to spread your legs.

“Urb- be careful. Jack will kill us if we-“

“Don’t mention your brother when I’m face to face with your vagina” Urban groaned before letting out a soft laugh.

The palms of your hands rested against the soundboard as you threw your head back. Urban took his time against your folds, flicking his tongue quickly against you as your legs trembled.

“Holy fuck- I can’t. I can’t. I need you” you started to babble.

Urban didn’t wait, taking that as his signal. He crawled on top of you, as best as he could without putting his weight on anything.

“There!” You pointed to the studio couch, not wanting to wait another minute.

Urban picked you up, slapping your butt before moving to the couch. He dug in his pockets for a condom, ripping the edge of the wrapper with his teeth before hurriedly sliding it on.

You both let out a moan louder than intended as you took his length.

“We have to be fast” you moaned between thrusts.

“Don’t worry, I will be” he laughed as your moans only grew louder. He knew that you weren’t able to control your noise level, something he loved about you.

It only took a few minutes before you panicked, pulling Urban by the hair to kiss you. Your muffled moans escaped inside his mouth as the two of you orgasmed one after the other.

***************

After your little distraction, you and Urban actually decided on working on the chorus your brother wanted you to do.

You were both laughing about something random, when your brothers walked in.

“Well I’m surprised both of you are still alive.” Clay says.

You shrug, “We don’t actually hate each other you know that right?”

Jack rolls his eyes, “Yeah we know, you two share some sibling love.”

You start to cough, “Hmm not really.” You say between coughs, trying to play it off that you got disgusted by your brother's comment.

“Anyway.” Urban starts. “She was able to do the verse. It’s all recorded so you can listen to it.” He says as he sits down next to you on the couch that was across the room.

Clay and Jack make their way to the table where all the different buttons are. What are they for? You had no idea that’s why you didn’t dare mess with their stuff.

“Alright, let’s hear what you got.”

“Don’t mention your brother when I’m face to face with your vagina” Urban groaned before letting out a soft laugh.

“Urb- be careful. Jack will kill us if we-“

“Holy fuck- I can’t. I can’t. I need you” you started to babble.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Both Clay and Jack yell.

Urban and you immediately stand up, you run towards your brothers and start pushing random buttons so the recording could stop playing against the speakers.

You turn around to face your brothers, face red with embarrassment. “I-I can explain that.”

“Explain what? That you made a porno with my best friend?” Jack yells.

“Don’t be dramatic, we didn’t do it on purpose.” You tell him.

“OKAY SO EXPLAIN TO US WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”

“Dude, relax so we can talk about thi-“

“Do not tell me to relax when I just heard my best friend and little sister having sex.” Jack yells.

“Technically, we weren’t having sex yet, he was just-“

“Y/N.” Clay yells.

“Babe.” Urban says, shaking his head.

“BABE? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BABE?” Jack starts getting red on the face.

Clay glares at Urban, “Are you two together, together? Or what the hell is going on?”

You nod, “We’re together.”

“Since when?” Jack snaps.

Urban starts scratching at his neck with nerves, but answers anyway, “Her birthday party.”

“We went official after my birthday party.” You shrug.

“Which one? The LA one or the one mom threw?”

“Does it matter? They’ve been dating for months and hid it from everyone. What is mom going to say?” Jack asks, he does a double take, “Mom knows doesn’t she?”

“She has her suspicions, but I haven’t confirmed anything yet.”

Jack shakes his head, glaring at both Urban and you. “YOU TWO KEPT THIS FROM ME. MY BEST FRIEND AND MY LITTLE SISTER, HOW DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL?”

“Dude I know it feels shitty finding out the way that you did. I wanted to tell you sooner but your sister-“ You elbow Urban in the ribs

It’s your turn to glare at your boyfriend, “Yes me, I didn’t want to tell my two annoyingly over protective brothers that I was dating one of their friends. I knew how you were gonna react so I wanted time to see where it’ll go and see if there was a way to smoothly tell you about it.”

“This shit is so fucked up, what we heard, no sibling should ever hear that. You two going at it in my work space.” Jack shakes his head in disgust.

“Y/N” Clay starts. “Go home.”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Don’t tell me what to do Clayborn. Let me explain-“

Jack scoffs, “I don’t want to hear a word from you, if anything Urb can speak for you. But you’re my sister, you knew from the start that my friends were off limits and you crossed that line anyway.”

“Your rule was a stupid rule and you did it only because you noticed I had a crush on him since middle school.” You roll your eyes.

“Can you just leave please? Can you do that?”

“Jackman-“ you start

Urban grabs a hold of your hand. “Babe, let’s just go.”

Jack chuckles, shaking his head, glaring at our hands intertwined together. “She can go, we need to work.”

You roll your eyes, “Okay. I’ll see you guys tomorrow for the show.”

Jack stands up, “No you won’t, I don’t want you coming anymore.”

It’s Urban’s turn to glare at Jack, “Dude come on.”

“She knew what she was doing. I told her plenty of times not to cross that line and she did it anyway. I’m pissed, I have every right to be.” He snaps.

“Just so you know, I didn’t do it to spite you.” You sigh before continuing.

“I tried really fucking hard to follow your idiotic rule, to stay away from him. I fucking moved away from home because I couldn’t handle not being with him the way I wanted to be. I thought with time and with you being an adult, you’d realize it was childish to begin with but I was wrong. You’ll always fault me for loving him and that’s too bad because I know deep down, I’ll never stop and you’ll never be okay with it and I guess I have to live with that.”

Urban turns your way to look at you, “Baby.” He says it so sympathetic, and you know just then how really down you were for him.

You shake your head. “Stay, do what you have to do here and I’ll see you later.” You squeeze his hand before letting it go and walking out the room without any other word.

Urban sighs and looks at Jack and Clay. “I crossed a line, I know that.” He continues. “But it’s also unfair that you knew of our feelings for each other and your solution was to say we were off limits.”

“You’re my best friend.” Jack scoffs.

“And she’s your sister.” Urban exclaims.

“Is she though?” Jack shrugs. “If she would be my blood sister, she wouldn’t have betrayed me like that.”

“Jack.” Clay warns.

Urban immediately starts getting annoyed. “That’s fucked up what you’re even trying to say.”

Jack shrugs, “I’m pissed off, I’m allowed to say what I want.”

“Not when shit like that can hurt her.”

“Can we just get back to work?” Jack asks.

“What do you need me here for? Because the last thing I want is to be here while you talk down about my girlfriend.” Urban snaps.

Clay sighs, “Go check up on her, I got it down here.”

“No-“ Jack starts but gets cut off by the glare Clay throws at him. “Fine, go.”

Urban starts walking towards the door but stops halfway to look at his best friend. “Like she said, we tried really hard not to act out on our feelings. You were always her first concern, even if it meant hurting me in the process. That girl, your sister, man she’s it for me and I know you won’t believe me because of my past, but what she said, made me realize that Y/N and I? We’re endgame and it’ll be disappointing if you can’t forgive us and accept it. I love her and I’m not hiding it anymore.”

With those last words, Urban walks out leaving the two brothers alone to think and process everything that just happened.

*************

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @vanwritesfan-fiction

[i-keepmyideals]

SHE’S MY BESTIE WESTIE

[rosy-evan]

Intro post(???)

Hey I'm Evan!

Idk really what to put-- this was all Pands idea

My twin: @pands-rosier my literal savior

Friends :3 (and others)

@regulus-fucking-black demon spawn(My bestie westie poo🤭)

@the-best-star reggies brother

@evanrosierswife my favorite person. My bee. my boyfriend. the love of my life. Shall I say more?

@lillsthoughts Doras friend

@onesingleprong um idrk, seems cool!

@whereisthatwherewolf very chill

@n4rcissa-blck reggies cousin

@andys-galaxyy also reggies cousin

@ratboy-peter Peter!! he's so adorable, right?! he's my boyfriend so u guys can back off >:[ (except barty, cuz yk, we're all tgt)

@dorkass-dorcas CAS!!

@that-one-lesbian-mckinnon idrk her, she seems really cool tho!!

This is an rp account! So please be nice! If you want to join pls reach out to @pands-rosier or @jess-quillkiller

[vannys-pizzaplex-askblog]

Bestie.

My westie bestie.

Please, feed. Feed Lee Oliver and Ler Miss Circle. I see them as family-

Bet- i got you bestie 😈

"Her favorite student"

Lers: Miss Circle

Lees: Oliver

(Platonic)

Miss Circle sighed, eventually finishing with grading other students' tests. The fact the half of them failed was really starting to irritate her. She sat back in her chair, running a hand through her hair.

"These damn children...I swear, half of them might've never been taught what math is.."

Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. Oliver stood at the doorway, the same usual smirk on her face.

"Hey there, Miss!"

Miss Circle's expression softened a bit. Seeing one of her favorite students did make her feel a bit better.

"Well hello, Oliver. Why are you here all of a sudden?"

Oliver walked into the classroom, sitting on a chair near Miss Circle's desk.

"Meh...I'm bored. Plus I'm sure Miss Thavel didn't see me sneak out of her class- ....Anyways, are you alright? You seem a bit...Stressed."

Miss Circle stared at Oliver for a few moments before sighing.

"That's because I am stressed. All this grading is giving me a headache."

Oliver frowned a bit. He didn't like seeing his favorite teacher so stressed.

"Sorry to hear that...Is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

Miss Circle's eyes lit up slightly. She wasn't expecting such a kind offer from Oliver of all people. Suddenly, an idea popped up in her head, and she smirked playfully.

"Why of course...Come closer, dear."

Oliver was a bit confused, but he chuckled softly and did what he was told as he walked closer to her.

"Okay...What do-"

He was cut off by Miss Circle suddenly grabbing him and placing him in her lap. He kicked and squirmed, definitely not expecting this.

"M-Miss-!? What's going on!?"

Miss Circle's smirk widened.

"Oh, you'll see~ You'll see right now."

Without warning, her large black claws started scratching away at Oliver's stomach. This caught the boy off guard, already becoming a giggling mess.

"Eh-!? A-Ahahahahaha! M-Miss Cihihihircle-!"

Miss Circle chuckled, continuing to tickle Oliver's stomach.

"Ah...I'm feeling a bit better already."

Oliver continued to squirm around in her lap, his face red with embarrassment.

"Ehehehehehe! *Snort* P-Please let g-gohohohoho!"

Miss Circle snickered, shaking her head in response.

"Not just yet..~ You're helping me relieve stress, remember?"

She growled playfully, now digging into Oliver's left underarm. This made him squeal with laughter.

"WAHAHAHAIT- N-NOHOHOHO PLEASE NOT THEHEHEHERE!! *snort* AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Miss Circle chuckled loudly, her stress starting to slowly fade away.

"Aww...Just one more adorable noise and I'll stop~"

She started to scratch at Oliver's underarm faster. Oliver started squirming even more, already almost in tears.

"N-NAHAHAHAHA! *snort* S-STOOOP! STOP IHIHIHIT!!"

Miss Circle finally felt satisfied after a few minutes, stopping her tickling and placing Oliver back on the floor.

"Thank you for the help, Oliver. You may go now."

Oliver took a few moments to catch his breath, eventually standing up straight.

"O-Okay...I'll go now.."

Just like that, he left the classroom. Confused but flustered about what just happened.

[4am-enha]

mother, it is no secret i am in love with the baby sloth video, and tears were shed. please i beg thee to dig into that sexy brain of yours to create another enha texts where the members react to the m/c absolutely sobbing, gripping the sheets, clawing at the walls etc to said video of the sloth baby 🤝

sincerely, your lover 🫂

anything for my beautiful wife. here you go @euphoricfilter ,

enha when: you cry over a sloth video.

description/tags: ^ the request. reader going slightly insane over a cute animal video, enhypen reacting to it (a little scared). all enhypen members.

(this is really specific and kind of an inside thing between us so here is the video she’s referencing so everyone can understand LMAO)

pairing: reader x enhypen ! can be gn or fem, but “girl” is used once in like a “bro” or “dude” way (if that makes sense).

warnings: swearing, intentional bad grammar, a lot of emojis.

note: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN WHATS BEEN GOING ON BETWEEN ENGENE TODAY? 😭 the truck wars is CRAZY. all in all though, please go spread love and support the boys as much as you can! they worked really hard for this comeback and do not deserve the hate they are getting right now. they were so excited for everything to release. stream bite me mv! stream dark blood! they need more support as a lot of childish engene are refusing to stream because of the female dancers. i think people need to stop being mad about the choreo and start being mad that FATE IS JUST AN INTRO 💔. anyway let me stop before i write an essay.

ty for any notes~! i’m not expecting this post to do that well because of how random it is 😭 but i love my bestie westie so i had to do it anyway. (also i got my dark blood albums today and i’m so happy)

[hidden-1n-the-sand]

OKAY SO. daisuke gets prepped for (YAY!!!) but then kai jumpscare (☹️) (2 cryopods survive)

BULLET POINT TIME

pre hatchetfield. kai is 16 years old

she gets hired because her ass is DESPERATE!!!

due to magic idk, kai’s now in the FUTURE !! WOAAAH!!! but because they use credits, her ass is BROKE !!!! and she needs to get a job.

cue pony express

anywho. i feel she attaches to curly. (white man with blue eyes = kai father figure /j)

bestie westies with daisuke

scared of swansea. could not tell you why

anya is scared for kai because of kais health issues. she’s also scared of her. because what the fuck is this (not)woman

fucking HATES jimmy. gives her the ick. fights with him.

she is LYING out of her ass when asked why she’s 16 and in the work force. “Uhh. i dropped out of high school. yep. my dad lost his job. my mama is broke. yep. mhm.” *she’s alone now* “i’mgonnagotojailforFRAUD!!!”

gets a concussion during the crash (she got bounced around to much ☹️)

jimmy will NOT let her ass rest (i mean it’s not like she would but. she hates jimmy. calls his ass jambalaya on the daily. jimbo threatens to drop. kick her.)

watxhes jimmy feed curly his leg and is like “😨”

axes jimmy to death for the last cryopod after curly

they get found after a bit!! (we gotta get kai’s ass to hatchetfield by 17)

ok i have tried five time to post this so

shes. why do you keep giving kai trauma shes just 16 :(

capitalism

capitalism but future

pony express :D capitalism :D but with ponies :D do you think kai actually expected. ponies. like did she think the company took care of ponies or smth

”white man with blue eyes = kai father figure” what if we put kai in omori and see how quickly she gets attached to people

daisuke and kai friendship :D :D

who isnt scared of him /silly

anya dont be scared of kai shes. shes just like that :D

JIMMY HATRED YIPPPPEEEE :D

wait fraud what the hell did kai do. did. she try to pull a stanley

:(

jimmy needs to burn in hell

JIMMY NEEDS TO BURN IN HELL

YES KILL THAT BITCH KILL HIM

so kai gets traumatized and then immediately after gets thrown into more trauma why do you keep traumatizing her let her have a moment of peace :( /silly

[scratchybongvt]

SIDEMASCOTS SPECIAL (Sidemascots 1.4)

OLYMPIC PHRYGE ATTEMPT TO SABOTAGE PARALYMPIC PHRYGE!

Vinicius: With help from…

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1!

Burke: To be honest, shouldn’t you call the police and arrest her for alcohol toxicity?

Sumi: Then this episode would have been a walk in the park!

Burke: Oh.

Vinicius: Sidemascots, devise a master plan for Olympic Phryge to sabotage her sister after what she did in the previous two episodes!

Sumi: The mascot with the best execution gets a massive pay rise!

Everyone: OOH!

Vinicius: The mascot with the WORST execution gets KICKED OUT of THE SHOW!

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOOH!

Vinicius and Sumi: LET THE SABOTAGING COMMENCE!

[Transition]

Note from the creative director: This is a satirical and comedic work of fiction. The content may include mature themes such as political satire, exaggerated depictions of soft drink use, sports rivalries, and dark humor involving violence. While the show uses real-world references, such as sports teams and public figures, it is intended purely for entertainment purposes and does not reflect the views or endorsements of any actual individuals, organizations, or events.

Additionally, this episode includes exaggerated portrayals of disability, violence, and extreme political ideologies for comedic effect. These portrayals are not meant to mock or trivialize serious issues but to satirize cultural and societal dynamics. Viewer discretion is advised, especially for sensitive audiences.

Vinicius

Sumi: Vinicius, my bestie-westie…

Mukmuk: MUKMUK! (Show-off!)

Sumi: What’s your idea?

Vinicius: Send her to Brazil and force her to be a fan of Fluminense!

Sumi: That soccer club you call them shit?

Vinicius: That football club I call them shit. She won’t stand a chance against Flamengo Ultras like me.

Burke: Didn’t we force her to support another club in the Sidemascots 1.2?

Vinicius: Which one?

Burke: You know? Rennes?

Vinicius: Oh yes, I almost forgot that. But that’s my point. All we do is to make her a target of all Flamengo and PSG ultras! South American football is toxic.

[To Rio de Janeiro!]

Sumi: Paralympic Phryge, we have a big surprise for you…

Vinicius: It’s a strip club in Brazil!

Paralympic Phryge: *burps* WAHEY!

Olympic Phryge: Guys…

Sumi: Oh hi Phryge.

Olympic Phryge: Shouldn’t you guys let me do it? The title said I sabotage her, not you guys!

Vinicius: Oh haha.

(Vinicius and Sumi throw Paralympic Phryge into a bar full of Flamengo fans and shut the door)

Vinicius and Sumi: RUN!!!!

Olympic Phryge: What the…

(Back to the studio!)

Vinicius: BREAKING NEWS – 20 Flamengo fans are arrested for assaulting a rival club’s fan, are you serious? We never get arrested for punching a Fluminense fan, not even in the ballbags!

Sumi: Does it have anything to do with the fact that you send her to a bar that only opens at night and people get there not to have a drink but to see football on a 1990s TV?

Olympic Phryge: 5/10!

Vinicius: You can’t rate!

OC IV: According to the title of this video, she is the one who sabotages, not you all, who else do you think should rate your sabotages? Me?

Sumi: Fair point.

Vinicius: At least she survived.

Olympic Phryge: *dings* Sigh, she ran away.

Vinicius: WHAT?

Olympic Phryge: They assault a different fan.

Vinicius: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Everyone: 3/10! Good intentions, bad results!

Vinicius: Everyone’s… a… critic.

Sumi

Sumi: After what I did to Miga, I think it’s best to let her binge-watch my cringe YouTube channel, and as Burke suggested to me, I should rename it to UR – Shit.

Burke: You do know that’s not a real suggestion, that’s an insult?

Olympic Phryge: I mean, what do you expect from someone who has autism all of the time? Also, what happened to Miga?

Sumi: Well…

(Flashback to Sidemascots 1.3)

(Sumi’s phone dings)

Sumi: Sorry guys, Mukmuk sent me a message. Mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk.

Vinicius: Aw, he speaks like Pokemon.

Miraitowa: What does it mean?

Sumi: He said “Miga lost her eyeballs after repetitive eye strain and the fact that she was watching Sumi’s shit YouTube channel in the last episode. She’s now in hospital. Apologize to her now, or I’ll never again lend you maple syrup!”

Vinicius: Aw, guys, filming is postponed.

Honohon: Aw, come on!

(Transition to now)

Olympic Phryge: Let me get this straight, Miga got blind because she watched your YouTube channel and now you want to use it as a sabotage weapon?

Sumi: The truth is that loads of people got blind because they watched my YouTube channel.

Everyone: WHAT?

Sumi: It’s so cringe, I bet they never see life the same way again.

Olympic Phryge: But how does her being blind do anything? She’s a Paralympic Phryge after all. I’m seeing this plan as useless as Lunchly!

(Everyone laughed.)

(To Sumi’s bedroom!)

Sumi: Good luck watching all of my epic YouTube videos without going for a restroom break!

Paralympic Phryge: LET’S GET THIS STARTY PARTED! *cracks open a can of Carabao*

(10 hours later)

Sumi: Phryge, I’m thrilled to announce that your sister…

Olympic Phryge: …

Sumi: Is bli- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! ALL SHE DO IS JUST SLEEPING?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

Olympic Phryge: I’m sorry, but my sister sleeps in daylight more than at night nowadays.

Miraitowa: Aw, she’s so cute…

Olympic Phryge: 2/10!

Sumi: WHAT? I thought Vinicius’ was worse…

Everyone: Good intentions, bad results!

Sumi: I’m going to round all of your houses.

Burke

Burke: How about I score a home run?

Vinicius: This isn’t Wii Sports, Burke…

Burke: I meant you throw C4 for me to hit it with a baseball bat, then it’s to Paralympic Phryge we go!

Sumi: Oh… do you think explosives is a good idea?

Burke: Think harder, not smarter! Like a box of explosives, you never know what you’re gonna get.

OC IV: WAY TO GO WITH YOUR MOVIE REFERENCES, BURKE!

Burke: Thanks OC!

(Transition to outdoors)

Sumi: Paralympic Phryge, you stay there, and unlike last time, I will allow you to sleep!

Paralympic Phryge: Can I go to *farts* a strip club after that…

Sumi: Uhhh… Let’s talk about that later. (opens walkie-talkie) Batter up, over!

Vinicius: Batter up, over! Let’s go, Burke!

Burke: FOR THE BRAVES, FOR THE WORLD SERIES!

Vinicius: Here goes nothing…

(Vinicius throws a C4, which was then hit on the bat by Burke, the C4 went ridiculously high)

(Here’s J. Hall with the pass…)

(The C4 hit the window of a New York RB fan)

New York RB fan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I’M A FAN OF A RED BULL CLUB, GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!

Sumi: (takes walkie-talkie) The bomb just hit a New York Red Bull fan, over.

Paralympic Phryge: DID ANYONE SAY RED BULL?!

Vinicius: BURKE!

Burke: Sorry but ever since that away game against NYRB, I’ve been aiming at their fans, even if I don’t want to.

Vinicius: This is worse than sending that fan to a bar full of Atlanta United fans!

Olympic Phryge: 1/10!

Burke: 1/10? This is getting worse…

Everyone: Good intentions, bad results!

Burke: Hey, it’s not like it’s everyone’s catchphrase!

Miraitowa

Miraitowa: I plan to put her stranded on top of Mount Fuji!

Olympic Phryge: 1/10.

Miraitowa: I haven’t executed it yet, besides, it has a snow cap!

Olympic Phryge: I’m sorry but I do feel like your plan is gonna fail.

Everyone: BAD INTENTIONS EQUALS BAD RESULTS!

Miraitowa: Oh, haha.

Wenlock

Wenlock: I’m going to call someone…

Burke: James Bond?

Wenlock: No.

Vinicius: The king?

Wenlock: No.

Borobi: Rishi Sunak mate?

Wenlock: No! And stop talking about British politics!

Borobi: David Cameron?

Wenlock: Stop… (rings phone… phone hung off immediately.)

Sumi: Who was that?

Wenlock: *sighs* @crackheadfromsainsburys… She’s unfortunately unavailable… well not until she finishes her cash-in Battle for Olympus.

Olympic Phryge: 0/10!

Everyone: Good intentions, bad results!

Wenlock: Time for plan B…

Olympic Phryge: Plan B?

Wenlock: Follow me.

(To another studio!)

Wenlock: After your sister forced me to press that “mystery button” in the last episode and almost got me canceled, I’ve decided to do the exact opposite!

Olympic Phryge: So you want to cancel her on social media?

Wenlock: I want to cancel her on social media… with this special button!

Olympic Phryge: Why does it have a Union Jack on it?

Wenlock: Come on, I had to find the buzz-buzz somewhere.

Olympic Phryge: And how exactly will it work?

Wenlock: Well, I’ve worked closely with a person who specializes in programming!

OC IV: Me! I use Scratch!

Olympic Phryge: Oh…

Wenlock: Let’s do this!

(Transition)

Wenlock: Paralympic Phryge, I know you love alc- I mean soft drinks. Press this button for a free ticket to a soda shop!

Paralympic Phryge: SODA SHOP! WAHEY! (presses button)

(Wenlock runs away)

Paralympic Phryge: Oui? Where you going?

(To the outdoors!)

Olympic Phryge: What have you made her post? Is it another roast?

Wenlock: No, I made her post about right-wing extremism!

Olympic Phryge: *gasps* What have you done?

Wenlock: British politics? Meh. French politics? Crazee bonkerz! She won’t stand a chance!

(Transition to the studio)

Miraitowa: Paralympic Phryge has been blocked due to violating X’s community guidelines. Forget choking someone, this is state-of-the-art shitfuckery!

Wenlock: I know, coming from someone who has seen toxic from politics before.

Vinicius: We don’t talk about politics here, we even auditioned a few Russian and Israeli mascots last week.

Wenlock: Oh sorry.

Vinicius: But since Paralympic Phryge is a bitch, it’s for the better.

Olympic Phryge: 5/10.

Everyone: NO! 7/10! CONTROVERSIAL INTENTIONS, GOOD RESULTS!

Wenlock: Massive pay rise here I come!

Myaku-myaku

Myaku-myaku: How about we dump an ice bucket on her?

Vinicius: What?

Sumi: It’s not 2014!

Soohorang: But you did dump an ice bucket on me.

Myaku-myaku: She’s hypnotized after all.

Vinicius: HYPNOTIZED? HOW IS SHE HYPNOTIZED WHEN SHE DRINKS ALL OF THE TIME?

Myaku-myaku: Who knows? Maybe she is.

Sumi: Fine, let’s roll.

(Transition)

Paralympic Phryge: Has anyone seen *burps* the soda shop…

Civilian: Here she is!

Police officer: Well she does match the description of being a massive Phrygian Cap with trainers… Paralympic Phryge, I arrest you for supporting right-wing extremism on social media!

Myaku-myaku: Snap out of it! (throws ice bucket on Paralympic Phryge)

Civilian: What the f***.

Vinicius: We knew it looked stupid in the first place.

Olympic Phryge: -1/10!

Myaku-myaku: What?

Everyone: BAD INTENTIONS LEAD TO BAD RESULTS!

Myaku-myaku: Aw, second chance?

Everyone: NO!

Borobi

Borobi: Anyone remember her forfeit mate?

Vinicius: She had to support Stade Rennais in PSG’s next home game?

Borobi: Yes mate!

Sumi: But she already supports right-wing extremism, and that was toxic enough to get her arrested.

Vinicius: Besides, she’s going to jail, she already failed her forfeit anyway.

Borobi: Oh. I was thinking if we let her support Olympique Marseille for life.

Olympic Phryge: PSG’s Le Classique rival?

Borobi: She won’t stand a chance against the PSG ultras.

Vinicius: Look, we already took her to South America hoping to be beaten by crazy football fans but she got away. I think it’s more or less the same.

Olympic Phryge: 3/10.

Everyone: GOOD INTENTIONS, EXPECTED TO BE BAD RESULTS!

Borobi: Oh, haha.

Sumi: Intermission: One like = 1 more year in prison for Paralympic Phryge! She deserves it. I’m not replying to any of the Phryges’ fanboys and girls in the comments, (spits), ciao!

Honohon

Honohon: How about I blow fire on her?

Vinicius: What?

Sumi: Last time around, she didn’t even feel the fire!

Honohon: Not fire from me – fire from this Boring Company flamethrower!

Vinicius: Fire’s still fire.

Wenlock: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’RE ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE TONIGHT!

Olympic Phryge: Not that kind of Fire, Wenlock.

Wenlock: What fire? Kasabian’s “Fire”? I used to listen to that whenever there’s the Premier League on!

Olympic Phryge: I mean actual fire.

Wenlock: ohhh…

Sumi: How does this flamethrower help you? I see this as useless as Lunchly.

Honohon: This flamethrower takes up more natural gas than any other flamethrower combined! Thank Elon Musk for that.

Vinicius: I’ll never forgive him for killing blocks on Twitter.

Sumi: If you think this flamethrower does any better, fine!

(BREAKING NEWS)

Jim Orange: Breaking news: Former Paralympic mascot was arrested for supporting right-wing extremism on social media! Sources say it’s a f**king disgrace. We now cut to her being taken to court earlier today…

(Honohon blows fire on Paralympic Phryge)

Witness: SOMEONE BRING A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!

Honohon: You’re a fire extinguisher!

(Back to the studio)

(Everyone laughed)

Vinicius: Oh she was in court on fire!

Honohon: 10/10 then?

Olympic Phryge: Comedy? Yes. Sabotaging? No. 0/10.

Everyone: GOOD INTENTIONS, UNINTENDED RESULTS!

Honohon: You’re right. Fire’s still fire. But at least there’s material for memes now.

Wenlock: I’M ON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

Soohorang

Soohorang: I’ve successfully released her from potential sentences!

Vinicius: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Soohorang: Calm down and let me finish.

Sumi: Fine, better not something controversial.

Soohorang: Instead of taking her to prison, how about taking her to SQUID GAME?

Everyone: SQUID GAME?!

Olympic Phryge: Grow up!

Soohorang: Come on, I’m South Korean, what do you expect?

Vinicius: Well, we did plan a Squid Game ripoff after how MrBeast did, but decided not to because it’s a dead meme.

Sumi: So what game do you want her to play? Biscuit carving? Marble trading? Tug of war? Glass bridge? Musical chairs?

Soohorang: It’s the first one.

Vinicius: Hm… what’s the first one?

(Transition to a larger set)

Soohorang: Welcome drunk to the first and only game?

Paralympic Phryge: Games? I love games, WAHEY! *drinks Pepsi*

Vinicius: Please refrain from drinking soft drinks, dickhead.

Sumi: Tonight we’ll play red light green light, this CGI doll will say either red light or green light!

Soohorang: When she says green light, move! When she says red light, stop. It’s like musical statues you find in a strip club.

Vinicius: If you can cross the finish line in 10 minutes, then on behalf of all of Twitter we’ll forgive you!

Paralympic Phryge: Freedom?! Wahey!

Soohorang: On your marks, get set, GO!

Doll: Green light!

(Paralympic Phryge walks like a drunk)

Doll: Red light!

Paralympic Phryge: Green light, red light? CHRISTMAS, WAHEY!

(A cannonball hits Paralympic Phryge which kills her)

Olympic Phryge: NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

Soohorang: Oh sorry Phryge, I didn’t mean to kill her.

Olympic Phryge: F**k you Soohorang!

Soohorang: It should have been worse.

Olympic Phryge: WORSE?!

Soohorang: My original idea was to use guns, but I realize that crossed the line.

Olympic Phryge: So?

Soohorang: I decided to rent some cannons, but I also realized that cannonballs shoot as fast as a bullet.

Olympic Phryge: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Soohorang: On the bright side, we did sabotage her! Pop some champagne, everyone!

Vinicius and Sumi: WE’RE NOT ALCOHOLIC!

Soohorang: Oh, a trip to a Korean restaurant then.

Vinicius and Sumi: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

(Olympic Phryge sobs)

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1!

Sumi: Sidemascots, the points are tallied. The winner of the “sabotage Paralympic Phryge” challenge is…

Wenlock: Me. Surprise, surprise.

Vinicius: Soohorang!

Wenlock: WHAT?!

Sumi: Who, from us, is given a 10/10 for making Squid Game relevant again!

Soohorang: YES!

Vinicius: And with that, Soohorang’s salary for the Sidemascots increased from $5/episode to $456/episode! Cha-ching!

Soohorang: YAY- WHAT?!

Sumi: The mascot with the LOWEST score is… Myaku-myaku!

Myaku-myaku: What?

Vinicius: On behalf of the Sidemascots, you’re KICKED OFF THE SHOW!

Myaku-myaku: Thanks for the otherwise wonderful time here.

Sumi: Join us next week for another episode of…

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1!

Olympic Phryge: I’M DONE! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

Tom: Did anyone say-

[mizodorito]

okay so me and my bestie westie @carbonatedswamp (hi) were talking about murder drones to each other and coming up with theories and we both actually thought of something really interesting that could (or maybe not) be leading to something in some way

So you know how some drones tend to have yellow eyes (either permanently or temporarily), right? Well we actually noticed a pattern in that color choice.

Every drone that has had yellow eyes at some point has the absolutesolver.

We’ve seen in the short flashback when N touched the zombie drones film that “Cyn” has had the absolute solver in the past and it’s shown in the recent teaser images that she’s the only one with eyes that are tinted yellow

All of the disassembly drones (J, V, and N) have yellow eyes and its CONFIRMED that they all have the absolutesolver lying dormant in them until it’s needed (ex. Eldritch J)

At the end of the pilot episode, Uzi’s eyes flash yellow for a moment while the absolutesolver program is being activated in her system

And last but not least, Doll’s reflection at the beginning of episode 3 has yellow eyes.

Do i have any ideas at to what this could mean? Absolutely not. Hell it could just be useless information, but it sure is interesting! (And fun!)

[vshushmshu]

two slow dancers

forward with left, backward with right. right to the side, left to the side. close left to right, close right to left. step back with right, step forward with left. to the side with left, to the side with right. close right with left, close left with right.

it was easy, or at least it was supposed to be, but you and leo had fumbled over each other far more times than you could count on both hands. you didn’t know why he was so determined to go to your stupid school dance with you, since you originally weren’t even going to go. he had caught you in the middle of a conversation with april about it, lamenting how her “human bestie” wasn’t gonna be going with her to the dance, and the red eared slider naturally butted himself into the mix, exclaiming smugly, “nahh, he’d definitely wanna go with me instead, since we’re also the bestest of friends!! isn’t that right, bestest friend?”

the absolute deadpan look you had given him was seemingly was too vague for a no, so you groaned, “blue, i was never gonna go, and you hauling your turtle ass over to?? my?? school?? ..it won’t change my mind. besides, how would you even get in without people calling 911 on you saying they spotted a freakazoid crawling around the gym?”

“ugh, whatever.. my bestie-westie is so mean to me…” he pouted at you for a moment, before you could almost see the imaginary lightbulb above his head fizzle on, and the slider gave you a cheeky smile, “oh! i could cash in a favor with sunita! she has that cloaking brooch, right? i’ll blend right in!”

april side eyed him, cocking a brow, “cash in a favor? with ‘nita? what the fuck kind of pickle did you guys get into for her to ask you for a favor?”

leo crossed his arms, huffing snootily while raising his snout to the air like he smelled sour booty, “well, nothing for yoouuu to worry about, i’m just trustworthy like that! anyways-!”

he scooted over to stand next to you, wrapping an arm around your torso with a dismissive wave of his hand at april, to which the girl snorted at your pained expression, “-we! have some practicing to do, don’t we~?”

“did you just vocalize a squiggly liNEEEAHHHH-“

the red eared slider had tried to portal you two away from a less than impressed april for dramatic effect, but now you two were desperately clinging to each other, as well as the tip of the burj khalifa, and scatting your britches. it took a while for him to figure out how to portal you guys back to somewhere that wasn’t another dimension and was closer to either of your homes, slashing ōdachis through the air around the pair of you. you think he teared up a little every time he looked down, though you definitely weren’t any better. at least you got a nice view of dubai?

you might’ve laughed out loud, because he looked back at your face instead of the two pairs of feet below, shoulders stiff while he chuckled back, “what, am i that bad?”

blinking back to the present, the corners of your lips quirked up a little as you narrowly avoided tripping him, guiding the both of you to turn just the slightest with his hand in yours, “i think we both are, don’t worry.. are you sure you wanna do this, though? because i really don’t.”

leo rolled his eyes, letting you rotate the both of your forms across of the roof with the arm you had around his midsection, grinning while still mentally keeping up with the steps he was supposed to take, “aw, come on! you never wanna do anything fun, and we never hang out! i’m pretty sure.”

looking down at your feet for a split second in satisfaction at the move being pulled off, you raised a brow at him and huffed, “mhm, sure, we totally don’t hang out like every other day.”

he squinted at you for a moment while feet continued, and you felt him tapping a green finger on your shoulder while he held onto it, “okay, whatever, but you get the point!”

he almost stepped forwards a little too far, and you scooted your foot back to avoid it getting stepped on, mumbling a “watch out” while he whispered “my bad.” you both watched your feet to make sure you continued without slip-ups for a moment, and then you raised your head to tilt it at him, “for the record, i really don’t.”

he grumbled, eyes darting up to look at your face for a split second before going back down to watch below, “man.. what i mean is that, we never do anything cool or special y’know-?”

you laughed a bit, squeezing the hand that relied on yours to guide, “huh? is fighting crime once a week minimum not cool enough for you? is neon leon too jaded now?”

the both of you twisted to spin a bit across the rooftop again, and leo laughed along with you when you picked him up a bit through the twirl, kicking his feet when they lifted off the ground, “pfft- wh- no! i’m not an expensive stone, what?? no but-”

a brow raised, but you only interjected again for a short moment with a snort, “we need to get you a dictionary.”

he tried to scowl at you, but it didn’t really last, “shut up! what i’m trying to say, is that i wanna make special memories! ones where we can look back while we’re out doing your dumb patrols and be like “hey remember when i totally dramatically swept you off your feet that one time at your highschool dance for people that come home,” y’know? bestest friend stuff!”

you blinked owlishly at him, and he went quiet, keeping his eyes on your guys’ now mostly fluid movement. you could finally keep track of where your feet were going to go next, after weeks of practicing and sore legs, to where there was starting to be little thought put into leading the turtle along in the simple box step dance. a little smile on your face, “that’s… i don’t think that’s how it’d go exactly, but yeah. when you put it like that, me too, i guess.”

he finally looked back up at you, and was still quiet for a little longer, before the arm around your neck brought you two closer while he beamed, “good.. we’re gonna have so many cool ass memories to look back on, i swear! we’ll be old and wrinkled, laughing about another stupid thing ‘till our dentures fall out!”

you snickered, the red eared slider following suit, and you tugged him along as the two of you slowed the dance, “really? we’re still gonna be “the bestest friends” until decrepit and senile?”

leo gave you a devious smirk, wiggling his eyebrows while you fought the urge to punch him in the middle of your simplified practice waltz, “of course.”

“…that’s pretty gay.”

“WHATEVER! SPIN ME AGAIN!”

“FINE.”

the actual dance seemed to have disappointed leo, not really knowing what to expect other than something out of highschool musical and having his dreams crushed upon entry. he was standing beside you and slurping at some punch like a wet cat, decked out in formal wear he no doubt stole from donnie, speaking of whom, probably also previously stole it from a random name-brand store (the purple one was fashion forward, moderately surprising). the cloaking brooch was pinned to the inside of his coat pocket, giving him the look of an average teenager that for some reason, bothered to come to the lackluster “party” held in the school gym. and yes, he went through with the effort to wear a whole suit and everything, because “it’s just how it works, okay?!”

you, meanwhile, had just bought a t-shirt with a tux design on it, and threw on some jeans with sneakers in the most gloriously low-effort homecoming outfit. the dance was coming to an end, really only being a bunch of kids either standing around awkwardly on the dance floor or twerking on each other, and you cringed a little while kicking at a balloon that bobbled over. they had either not left room for any actual dancing the entire three hours, or it had just not been socially acceptable at the time to actually do the dance you both practiced, since every couple had immediately started making out the moment the slow dance section came up. both you and leo had covered each others eyes when you noticed, and laughed at each other.

now though, he looked dejected while swishing around the last of his punch in his cup, and then tilting his head back to down it. you glanced nervously at april, who had been chatting it up with cass for most of the time since you had “abandoned her” when she asked you before leo forced you to go, and they seemed to be hitting it off. you smiled a little, glad, and then looked back at the disguised turtle still boredly observing everything at your side, plastic red solo cup tossed to the side along with the other trash littering the scuffed floor, “hey leo?”

his attention immediately locked on you when you finally said something, and he sighed, scratching at his human-looking cheek, “yeah? i can see why you didn’t wanna go now, by the way.. this kinda sucks nuts.”

“don’t wanna say i told you so, but,” you ended the statement with a shrug, laughing a little. he grumbled, and you patted his back, or well, shell in disguise, “hey! on the bright side, we can always reminisce on how we cha-cha-slided with a bunch of horny teenagers!”

the turtle’s pained expression made you choke on any other words you were going to say for a moment, and you leaned against him for support while wheezing, the subject rolling his eyes, “uhuh, har dee har, laugh it up… we better tell april we’re leaving, i’m done with this.”

you placed a hand on his chest to stop him, and he did, waiting for your breath to catch up with you. you were grateful, breathing out any lasting chuckles while he raised a human brow at you in question, “w-wait! pfft- nono! we can still dance if you wanna live out your teenage dreams, just maybe when everyone is gone, yeah?”

leo blinked at you for a moment, “when everyone is gone?”

nodding, you gestured to the general mass of sweaty hormonal minors having tiktok dance-offs, which was really just them tweaking out with their hands with an occasional stomp of their feet, “yeah, we can wait for a bit until the gym is cleared out, and then we’ll have the floor to ourselves. how’s that sound, blue?”

he raised a hand to his chin, pretending to stroke an imaginary beard, and he laughed when you deadpanned at him, “sounds good to me… let’s go bother april and goth chick until then. they’re having too much fun!”

leo took your hand, making you follow along with him while you almost stumbled to catch up, waving at the two on the opposite side of the room laughing at something the other said.

the both of you had hid in the folded up bleachers as the custodian cursed the amount of trash the kids left in the gym, limbs pretzeled together and trying your best to scooch back in fear they find you both giggling like dumbasses. they eventually left, closing the door behind them with a sigh, and you two clawed your way out the tight space. you high-fived the disguised turtle with cracking limbs, while he rubbed his sore shell wrapped in magic human backside with a whine, and you both helped each other hop down to what was once “the dance floor,” now just the land of dreaded pacer tests once more. your sneakers squeaked against the gym’s floor as you walked to the middle, the pair of you cringing at the way the sound reverberated through the empty space, and you smoothed down your precious now-wrinkled shirt while turning to face leo, “well, we did it.”

he looked around in surprise, seemingly at how barren the gymnasium seemed now, and nodded along, “that we did.. we don’t even have music though, how are we gonna dance?”

you shrugged, taking his hand to tug him over gently, and he let you, but the disguised turtle having five fingers instead of the three you had to adjust to weirded you out, “we don’t need tchaikovsky or something, half the time we’ve been practicing without any music at all. take off the brooch.”

the boy’s eyes widened. it was so strange to see a nose on his face, and it was stranger when you booped it and he flinched just the slightest, a hand already reaching into his coat pocket to take it off. he paused in his movement for just a second, head swiveling to the doorway nervously, “uh.. are you sure? it’d be taking a risk. what if someone comes in looking for their like, i dunno, wallet or something??”

your lips pursed, and you tapped your fingers against his side that you were loosely holding, raising a brow but letting him take his time, “leo, everyone buys the tickets before they come. if someone brought their wallet here to pay for the overpriced snacks they sell, don’t you think they deserve to get traumatized by a short mutant turtle shittily dancing with some random kid?”

fighting a smile, he grumbled a “whatever, i’ll be tall as hell one day, and you’ll be sniveling and seething,” and then unpinned the brooch to let it simply sit in his pocket, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with your question. one magical girl detransformation later found you the red eared slider you had been forced to practice with for a near month, eyes crinkled as you assumed your positions. you stepped forward with your left foot, the turtle stepping back with his right, and feet met their respective pair as you both stepped to the side, leading him to spin along. the two of you continued like this across the empty gymnasium, leo laughing every time you picked him up off the ground to twirl him, leaving you beaming while humming something waltz-like to satisfy.

it was fun, and the both of you kept going till you slowed as you neared the middle of the scuffed wooden floor once more, breathing uneven while the dimming sunlight shone from the too-high windows. you resolved for one more spin to end off the dance with another bout of giggles from the slider, and he hugged you close to find purchase when you heaved him up to whirl him to the middle, tuckered out smiles from the both of you while he let out a high pitched school girl-like titter. you let out a snort that broke your murmurs of a tune, finally stopping to rest your head against his shoulder, trying to catch your breath, “was it.. hh.. was that a good memory?”

leo wasn’t as worn out as you, considering the fucker had been spun into the air more times than you could count with your sore arms, expression something of unbridled joy while he let you lean against him because he did the same against you, “pff- are you kidding? it was one of the best! i hope i never get dementia.”

you sniggered, shoulders shaking while he let out an amused laugh, like he didn’t expect that to get you, “can mutant turtles even get dementia?”

the slider rolled his eyes, something you couldn’t see, but instead heard in his tone with lingering chuckles, “well, i sure hope not, because i wanna remember this forever! i’ll just make donnie reverse engineer my brain if i ever do.”

your breathing had settled into its usual patterns again, and you pulled away slightly to give him a pointed look, “yeah, now i hope not too, ‘cause purple is gonna one hundred percent lobotomize your goofy self.”

he let out an indignant scoff at the idea, before he seemed to mull over it again, and then nodded solemnly in agreement. you shook your head with a grin, pointing to the exit, “anyways, wanna skedaddle? i’m down for some dinner after i pick that lock.”

the slider pinned on the brooch once more, and you frowned just a bit at the fact that he had a nose again, the skin-walker offering you a nasty smirk back with a raise of his eyebrows, “pick the lock? well, the more you know. lead the way, bestest buddy, i’m just about starved!”

you rolled your eyes as he dramatically pointed towards the exit, striking some extravagant pose while you unsheathed a couple paper clips, urging your friend to follow you. he did with nothing but a short laugh at how you fiddled with the little metallic school supplies, cheering you on until you both were home free.

the turtle had caught you out in the commons again, making some tea in the wee hours of the morning. you don’t know how long he had stood there watching you, until he let out a sigh that alerted you of his presence, tense shoulders immediately slumping when you recognized his footsteps, “don’t scare me like that, commander.”

his prosthetic was off tonight, only one arm wrapping around your stomach, careful not to lean on your back while you stirred the barest of sugar into your tea, “commander? ha, what happened to leo? or even blue?”

you let yourself laugh, raising a brow and pausing to take a testing sip of the tea, not caring it was still bitter because you didn’t want to waste sweetener, “psh- okay, bestest friend, why are you still up? don’t we need to gather some recruits to go for a supply run at noon?”

a laugh in your ear, surprised, and then he nuzzled into your cheek, “wow, been a while since that, and usually i start it! did you finally decide we’re best friends after all?”

you huffed, setting the tea down with little to no trembling to turn and face him, the slider immediately backing away to give you room, “oh shut up, leon, it’s been like… fifteen years, at the least? and you’re avoiding my question.”

he pouted, flicking the middle of your forehead lightly, snickering when you rubbed it with a grumble, “that’s true, and i’m not! you just get a.. delayed answer, yeah.”

you raised a brow, “when’s that answer gonna come around, then?”

“…”

the turtle instead pulled you away from your precious tea, and you whisper screamed at him while he whisper laughed at your misery, knowing you weren’t in any actual pain at the fact that your limbs were still uselessly flailing. you gave up pretty quick, simply slumping in his arms as he walked you both over to the middle of a cleared out area in the commons, and you groaned, “leo, what are you doing?”

he set you down onto the ground again, smiling cheekily, finally having something that wasn’t exhaustion in his eyes for now, “dancing.”

you sputtered, “wh- what?? why??? i don’t even know if i remember the steps anymore!”

the red eared slider let out a gasp that wasn’t as played up as it could be, lightly covering his mouth with his only remaining hand, “ohmigosh, does that mean that you got dementia before me?! i’m so sorry!”

the was a pathetic smack to his plastron, and he sniggered, “you know what i mean! i can’t even twirl you around like some damn princess anymore, look at you!”

leo was now a head and a half taller than you, something you bitterly griped about whenever he even so much as mentioned it, and his smile much too smug for your liking when he had first noticed he grew even just a tad more than you. apparently mutant turtles were just bound to keep growing despite the point where humans stopped, and the now flipped height difference always found a way to get under your nerves despite the literal apocalypse you were trying to survive. the turtle looked down at himself, then back at you with a “tsk,” trying not to appear as embarrassed as he was at what you could still recall, “well, you don’t have to lift me up, okay! jeez, can a guy just shittily dance with his buddy as the sun rises?”

you laughed, shaking your head in a silent surrender the slider was eager to accept, a hand making its way to your hip while you rested yours the best you could on his shoulders, “you might be the cheesiest fucking turtle i know, y’know that?”

he frowned at you in distaste, sticking his tongue out while you rolled your eyes, and then stepped forward with his left, “well, you never say no to anything i wanna do, so who’s the real weirdo, huh?”

you stepped your right foot back, about to take his other hand when you remembered he didn’t have one, and he snorted as you rested your hand at his shoulder once more, huffing, “spoiler alert, it’s still you.”

you both sniggered under your breaths, the slider leading you to rotate the both of you along the empty ground, “oh, shut up.”

the two of you continued like that for a while, slowly orbiting around nothing as you hummed, faces tired but content. that is, until leo’s arm around you tightened a little more, careful not to agitate any corroded nerves, and your feet left the ground. your panic turned to embarrassed giggling as he whirled you around, face hot and a hand punching him lightly while the other arm held on for dear life, and his face lit up, “hehehAHAH- HEY!! what happened to no twirling??!”

he spun a couple times until setting you down once more, sluggishly picking up the dance steps with joy twinkling in crinkled eyes looking down at you, meanwhile you beamed back up at him with raised brows, “psh, i said you didn’t have to lift me up, nothing about the opposite. plus, i can see why you did it for me so many times!”

you spent most of the sleepy dance with a burning face rested on his chest after that, to which he laughed teasingly at you, but said nothing else as he smoothed down your hair, continuing your humming for you. the slider still twirled you around a couple more times to get reactions, at which you couldn’t help but burst into giddy snickers every time you felt weightless, catching sight of leo’s face with something cherishing you had to rip your eyes away from. you could feel his arm bracing for yet another lift, and your cheeks hurt from your grin, the red eared slider rubbing his cheek against yours, “here we go, one more time! up, up and away-!”

he had barely suspended you up once more before someone cleared their throat a ways away, and you jolted, scrambling across the shoulders of the turtle holding you as his grip had gone slack. you hid behind his shell with a sweat, and you could hear donnie’s voice carry out to his brother, “what.. are you guys doing? it’s early.”

leo might’ve smiled, you couldn’t see either of their faces, but you would assume donnie yet again looked as if he had risen from the dead for more coffee, “good morning, dear brother! your face makes it seem like it’s still late at night! when’s the last time you got some sleep?”

you heard shuffling moving towards the kitchen area, and leo moved to face the soft-shell responsible for it in time, graciously avoiding you being seen sweaty and embarrassed, “i hate you both. homophobic now.”

that got a genuine chortle out of the slider, and your muscles slackened as you slumped down to the floor with a groan, blue turning a bit to catch a glimpse at you. it only made him start laughing even more, and you spotted donnie side-eyeing the both of you with an apathetic annoyance. leo helped you up, to which you gave him a grateful expression, and donnie piped up again after a sip of his freshly brewed coffee, “if you’re done being idiots now, you need to get ready for that supply run. i’ll be giving your “student” something new that’ll make his life a little easier, and run a couple diagnostics on the base’s defenses.”

blue cocked his head at purple, and you rubbed at your eyes, making your way around the island in search of the tea ripped away from you, “yeah, yeah, i know all that, but what are you giving casey? there’s only so many lethal weapons you can give the kid before it becomes overkill, donnie.”

the soft-shell had let you squeeze past him, looking over at your frown at a cup of tea gone cold with a quirk of his brow, before dragging his gaze back up to leo, “oh come on, the boy needs it if he wants to stay alive, plus it’s fun. i’ll just be giving him a grappling hook though, nothing special.”

leo squinted at him when he said “nothing special,” looking to you as you poured out your tea. you met his eyes blankly for a moment, thinking it over before shrugging, washing the mug and putting it away, “i mean, you can’t commit that many more accidental fatalities with a grappling hook compared to chainsaw hockey stick, so it’s fine in my book. maybe don’t let him loose with it in the base while he’s still learning how to use it, though.”

donnie and leo both nodded in agreement at that, and the matter of casey junior having yet another purple-patented device was settled, the inventor smiling to himself smugly, “i will also be relaying all of what i saw to mikey and april. this is payback.”

and with that, he sauntered out, picking up the pace after you registered what he said with wide eyes, chasing after him. leo watched the both of you run off, donnie fighting to keep the precious bean juice in his hands from spilling with evil cackles while you screamed at him in annoyance, the red slider simply shrugging and resolving to go tell casey the good news. he had fun, and you had fun. that’s all that mattered.

even if it was pretty gay.