#she’s literally still on her honeymoon and I’m already planning the divorce

[gottacaptcha-em-all]

My Legacy Inheritor Jaime <3 (2nd Gen.)

Ambitious, Hot Headed, Self Assured, Maker, and family oriented (additional- Street Smart.)

Jaime is no stranger to a good challenge, she spent her teen and young adult life throwing it down in the mud, making a living in underground fighting, all while working a construction job to support herself. To put it simply Jamie’s beat Greg while drunk off of her cousin’s moonshine and felt like she could overcome anything else that came her way. Then she fell in love, she had a kid, and got married.

One day Jaime Helm woke up and realized that she had put her life and ambitions on pause. A few months later Jaime hesitatingly got a divorce, moved out, and became the most recent addition to Waterside Housing, the cheapest housing around (don’t ask why)(not that she really cares to, she takes miracles as they come). Her landlord might be a bit eccentric and her neighbors kind of an odd bunch, but she has a feeling they will grow on her (well, at least a some of them will.)

Nevertheless she’s in her adulthood in a completely unfamiliar place (she’s never left moonwood mill aside from her honeymoon), balancing motherhood, a waitressing gig, and classes (she decided to get her ged and go to college to get a degree in mechanics/engineering). How will Jaime face this new era of her life?

(With a new haircut obv.)

[ibijau]

Counterfeit AU pt6 / On AO3

Meng Yao makes himself useful after losing his job, and discovers something unexpected

Names are funny things, Meng Yao thinks as he stares at the sheet of paper in his hand. 

Funny things indeed.

-

After everything that went down in the Hanshi, it's Beastie that saves Meng Yao from himself.

Left to his own devices, he would have either wallowed in misery, or waste time proving to himself that everything that happened wasn't his fault, the way he knows he's done in other lives. But when he comes home after having his past lives thrown into his face and losing a job he loves, Beastie’s mother corners him just as he puts his key into his lock. Her daughter is on school holiday, she explains, and was supposed to be looked after by a friend with children of a similar age. But one of the children came down with something contagious, so the whole plan fell through, and the poor woman now desperately needs help finding someone to look after her daughter.

She’s not asking for Meng Yao to play the babysitter, but he knows so many people, he has so many connections, maybe he could pull a favour somewhere, help her out again.

“I can take care of her for a few days,” Meng Yao offers without thinking. “I’m jobless as of today.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! What happened?”

“My employer died,” Meng Yao replies, which is close enough to the truth. He doesn’t think Nie Huaisang will continue using his Shanzi alias after this, and they’ll never meet again. He might as well be dead. “I don’t plan on looking for a new job right away, so I can babysit for a while, it’s no big deal.”

She tries to insist that he doesn’t need to be doing that, but quickly agrees after some reassurance that Meng Yao doesn’t mind. She looks so relieved she could cry as she says she’ll drop Beastie in the morning. Meng Yao smiles, certain that his mother would be proud of him for doing what’s right.

Having Beastie around is definitely the best choice he could have made. She’s a good kid, but she’s also high energy and needs to be entertained, which means he doesn’t get to think too much about how much he misses Nie Huaisang and Lan Xichen. 

They watch movies together, as they’ve always done when he picked her up after school. They go for walks to a nearby park, and once to a museum to look at old armours and swords. He buys Beastie a fake sword, though they agree to keep it at his place, since her mother already despairs that she so strongly favours boy’s toys. In fact, Meng Yao ends up just spoiling that little girl, the way he would have loved someone to do for him when he was her age. He even has Nie Huaisang’s console repaired so she can play on it, instead of selling it as he’d intended.

The video games are a big hit with her. She’s particularly in love with the same game Nie Huaisang spent too many hours on, that weird little terraforming thing which Meng Yao can’t see the appeal of. He liked that it made Nie Huaisang happy. He likes that it also makes Beastie happy, and that she’s very careful not to ruin the work previously put into it, focused instead on maintaining it and planting flowers

“It looks like home,” she explains when Meng Yao asks about that, and lifts the console for him to see.

It doesn’t look like a homely place, he thinks, and more like a military fortress right out of a wuxia drama. But Meng Yao doesn’t get to make that remark, because his phone vibrates, demanding his attention. Beastie, sitting crossed legs on some cushion on the floor, goes back to watering virtual flowers, while Meng Yao checks some news from his bank account. A lump sum has been sent to him, a good deal more than his usual salary, coming from an account registered under a name he doesn’t recognise.

It has been a week since he was fired.

Nie Huaisang kept his promise.

It really is over.

Not that Meng Yao really doubted it. Nie Huaisang has many faults but indecision has never been one, though he’s always been good at pretending otherwise. Once his choice is made he toys with expectations but rarely ever changes his mind.

Rarely, of course, isn’t never. Meng Yao, foolishly, hoped to be one of those few exceptions. 

Those new zeroes on his bank account feel like a divorce, and he never even got a honeymoon. 

That night, Meng Yao allows himself a few hours to wallow in misery, after Beastie went back to her mother. He is only human, and it does feel good to eat take-away in front of a cheesy romance. The film's hero doesn't get the girl, who was dead all along. Meng Yao cries, even though he's seen that movie before. 

By morning, he's in control again, and takes Beastie to the park so she can run around in the sun, and scare pigeons with her sword.

Those holidays are all great fun, until Beastie’s mother reminds them that she has homework to do.

Beastie is a clever kid, there’s no doubt about it, but she doesn’t much like doing her homework, least of all when she feels she could be playing. It takes all of Meng Yao’s negotiation skills to get her to even look at her school books, and he almost resorts to bribery to make her pick up a pencil. But she works hard once she starts, and Meng Yao, wanting to encourage her, sits with her at the kitchen table to update his resume. Beastie will go back to class soon, and inactivity just isn’t in his temper.

When Beastie is done with her work, she gets permission to put on whatever movie she likes while Meng Yao checks what she’s done in case it needs correcting.

But when he picks up the sheet of simple maths she’s expected to give her teacher on monday, all Meng Yao sees is her name.

It’s really funny. He knows her name of course, though he hasn’t heard it in a while. Even her mother took up to calling her Beastie after he nicknamed her that. It just fits her so well, that active little girl who prefers trousers over dresses because they're easier to move in and always wants to play at fighting. She’s a real little monster, and Meng Yao loves her like that. She’s just Beastie.

But according to the homework she’s spent the afternoon on, she’s also Nie Mingjue.

It could just be a coincidence. Names are funny like that, they pop up in unexpected places, they get forgotten and reused. Perhaps in another life, Meng Yao would have just dismissed it as a random incident.

In another life, he wouldn’t have been called Meng Yao.

It’s the first time this happens since that first life they all shared. He’s Meng Yao again, Lan Xichen bears his old name too, and now he’s found a Nie Mingjue, hiding right under his nose. A Nie Mingjue who likes fighting, and claims that her toy sword is actually a sabre, and who always insists a lot on things being fair, even when Meng Yao tries to give her the biggest share of a food she likes.

It can’t be a coincidence.

Meng Yao needs to tell someone.

He needs to tell Nie Huaisang.

He tries, of course, and without surprise his former employer’s number has been terminated. He has the same luck trying to send an email. Nie Huaisang might as well never have existed. Meng Yao feels helpless, torn between tears and laughter. After spending centuries looking for his brother, Nie Huaisang just might have lost his chance due to being so damn dramatic. Serves him right, Meng Yao thinks, still bitter about being discarded so easily, and never getting a chance to see if things might work better in this life.

Bitterness doesn’t last. Meng Yao cares about Nie Huaisang, more than he should if he were a little smarter, and he knows how important finding his brother again would be for him. And if Nie Huaisang can’t be directly contacted, there’s always indirect ways.

It’s not that Meng Yao misses Lan Xichen, he tells himself that night, when Beastie is back with his mother and he starts writing a long text message on his phone. Well, it’s not just that, anyway. He does miss Lan Xichen, sweet and funny and so eager when talking about art. But more importantly, Lan Xichen probably has access to Lan Wangji, who clearly must know how to contact Nie Huaisang. 

Texting Lan Xichen is a strategic choice. 

The way Meng Yao's heart jumps inside his chest when Lan Xichen immediately replies is… it's strategic too. He's just glad that his plan is working. 

How have you been? :)

I could have been worse. I've just realised something and I think it concerns you. I've told you about that kid I babysit, haven't I? 

Little Beastie? Is she okay? D:

She's Nie Mingjue. 

This time, the answer isn't immediate. Meng Yao stares nervously at his phone, wondering if Lan Xichen thinks he's lying, or planning something. Considering their first life, who could blame him? 

But after a few minutes, his phone vibrates again. 

Sorry, I dropped my phone and couldn't get it back from under the couch. Are you sure?? (⊙ˍ⊙)

It all fits. You could come meet her if you want. But it's him, I'm sure. 

Did you tell Nie Huaisang???

I can't contact him. Are you in touch with Lan Wangji? Maybe he can warn him. 

I have his number, I just texted him! I'll keep you updated! It's so wonderful if it's da-ge!! Can I really meet him? ╰(*°▽°*)╯

Her*?

I'll send you my address. If you can come tomorrow, she'll be there.

Are you sure? I don't think da-ge would still want me around. (≧﹏ ≦)

Meng Yao gives that question the consideration it deserves. It's not an unfair worry to have, and he'd be wondering the same if he hadn't known Beastie for so long. 

I literally killed him, and he killed me. If she had to hate anyone it'd be me, but we get along great. We're no longer the same people we used to be. It's the same for her. 

If you're sure, then I'll come! (❁´w`❁)

-

Meng Yao is very sure indeed. 

So Lan Xichen comes. 

It's odd to invite someone to his flat. It's a small place, a bit messy, full of trinkets and DVDs that Meng Yao would never admit to owning, not with the image he wants to create. He's always avoided guests. But having Lan Xichen over is as rewarding as it is terrifying. Lan Xichen brought some charming little cakes, as if he's visiting someone important, and he smiles at the sight of a movie poster on the wall, confessing he watched it so often as a teenager that the tape broke one day. 

"It's my favourite too!" Beastie exclaims. "Meng-ge has it, you know! Can we watch it now?" 

Normally, Meng Yao would point out that it's a little rude to ask that when they have a guest. But he can see that Lan Xichen is nervous and unsure how to act around Nie Mingjue, and maybe a movie will let them all relax. 

In the end, they spend a pleasant afternoon, the three of them. Once Lan Xichen stops worrying that the Nie Mingjue of old will appear and shout at him for getting him killed, he starts chatting with Beastie about her favourite movies, what she's learning in school, what she wants to be when she grows up. She's very happy to answer, and very impressed when he explains he's a teacher, even though she's finding it hard to accept that most of his students are fully adult.

And when Beastie is back with her mother, Lan Xichen lingers for a while, tempted by the offer of Meng Yao's favourite takeaway.

“It’s amazing how much like him she is,” Lan Xichen says as they sit on the sofa to wait for the food to arrive. “It’s the first time he reincarnates, you know. At least, Wangji told me they’d never found any trace of him before.”

Guilt shoots through Meng Yao. It’s his fault if Nie Mingjue’s soul was so fractured it took him this long to be reborn. Or at least, it’s the fault of someone he was, once, which is nearly the same, and yet completely different. Meng Yao has learned from living and dying several times, and he’s lucky enough to live in a kinder world than Jin Guangyao did. It helps.

“She’s also different from him, though,” Lan Xichen continues, moving just a little closer, until they’re almost touching.

“We’ll, for starters she’s a kid,” Meng Yao points out, wondering if he should take the other man’s hand. If this had happened before the Hanshi, he would have, but he’s not sure where they stand now.

“It’s not just that. In that first life, I knew da-ge as a child too and he was…” Lan Xichen sighs and makes a vague hand gesture. “He was a lot. Way too serious sometimes. We all were, I suppose, but him most of all. The Nie tended to grow fast, to compensate for dying young. I’m… I’m glad that he gets to properly be a child this time. That she gets to be a child.”

“The world has changed,” Meng Yao says, finding the courage at last to brush his fingers against Lan Xichen’s. “Things aren’t always easy but they’re… easier, I suppose.”

Lan Xichen’s returns that touch, gentle and careful as always. This, too, is easier now than it was back then. It’s not easy, but there’s less pressure to conform, less demands to be good dutiful sons, and just a little more space to be their own people, to make their own choices.

Maybe in their next life they’ll meet again and it’ll be even easier to be like this. But even now, Meng Yao is ready to take the chances that his past self wouldn’t have dared to dream of. He leans toward Lan Xichen, hoping to kiss him, but a knock on the door interrupts them and he jumps to his feet to go get their food. The delivery man looks at him a little funny, but makes no comment. If Meng Yao is half as red as Lan Xichen, he deserves those odd looks.

Nothing happens again that night. The moment has passed, and after eating, Lan Xichen has to go home because he has engagements the day after that he can’t cancel.

It's not a date that night, no more than any of their previous encounters were. 

It's not a date then, but next time, when Lan Xichen invites him to a restaurant, Meng Yao is informed in no unclear terms that this is, in fact, a date. They go see a movie after, and Meng Yao gets to kiss one of the two most handsome men in the world.

Life is good. 

Life is really good, and yet Meng Yao wants more. 

In spite of their efforts, Lan Xichen and him can't get in touch with Nie Huaisang to inform him that his brother has finally reincarnated. Even Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are getting worried. From what they told Lan Xichen they haven't had any contact with him since the day they picked him up at the Hanshi. 

"They say he's done that before," Lan Xichen tells him. "They think he'll return in a decade or two, maybe a little longer. Time is hard for immortals, they lose track easily." 

That's all very well for them, but Meng Yao doesn't have a few decades to waste, and neither does Nie Mingjue. They're not immortals. One bad illness, a reckless driver, just tripping in the stairs, and it's all over until they reincarnate again, and Meng Yao is done with missed chances. 

If he can't directly get in touch with Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao can make a few discreet calls to former buyers, and advise them to get their purchase asserted again, just in case. He makes sure to only contact people who bought legitimate artworks of course. He wants to make a wave, not get in trouble. If Meng Yao knows Nie Huaisang even half as well as he thinks he does, then even in hiding Nie Huaisang will be checking what’s happening in the world of art collectors, and he’ll hear about some of his buyers suddenly becoming fearful of fakes.

It’s a little mean perhaps, when Nie Huaisang is so proud of his counterfeits, but kindness has never been Meng Yao’s greatest quality.

Besides, it works.

One afternoon, when Meng Yao is alone at home, checking a job offer that he’s probably going to reject because he deserves better, there’s a knock on the door. Meng Yao considers ignoring it, but some of his elderly neighbours have been coming to ask for help with their phones or whatever new fancy blender their kids got them to make life easier. Usually, five minutes of easy work means free homemade food for his next meal, which is always a great deal.

When he opens the door, there’s a very old man waiting in the corridor alright, but free food is probably out of the question.

“Well, I’m here,” Nie Huaisang says. “Whatever is going on, it’d better be important.”

[thenotetoselfpod-hq]

“The answer is yes if you were wondering if y’all were spoiled. Whew, Chile. Don’t ask me for NOTHIN’ else.” Zion chuckled sweetly as she dramatically cleared her throat. “Lets get into it. Welcome back to another episode of the Note to Self podcast where we talk all things self care of the body, spirit, mind, work ethic, sprinkled in with a whole lot of motivation to carry us into a new day. I am your host Zion Taylor and with me in my makeshift studio is my lil baby who listens to all of my problems, my boss friend THEEEEE Brilliant O’neal.” Zion air claps as she smiles over at Brilliant. “How are you on this lovely day, mama?”

“Hey, hey, hey! I’m so excited to speak to the note to self listeners all over, it’s been fun listening in and making my own input here and there but wheww being here feels so rewarding.” She said warmly before playfully exhaling. “I’m doing good, managing like I usually do but good nonetheless. How are you?! What jewels do you plan on dropping for the people today?”

“I’m probably doin’ a little less good than you since you’re managing but girl .. I cannot complain at all. So thankful to have you here for this episode and to just catch up. We’ll get into the tea of it all a little later. We start every episode with a brief recap and I wanted to thank everyone, again, for all of the love. I hope you all were inspired to really keep killing shit in the industry that you’re in and watch the doors open up for you. Last weeks top listeners were the beauty that is known as @royalnike who spoke about her Black Owned Mechanic business and the short term goals that she has for herself in that business. Of course you, Mrs. Brilli Dis, founder and owner of The Glamour Parlor, and the beautiful @syxrai, who I’m obsessed with on IG by the way, but who also is a film producer ALL shared your short term goals which inspired me tremendously. If you missed out on that go give it a listen and drop your own goals in the comment section.

Music is the only thing that gets me through my week sometimes. This week is on you because Channing is still pressed about Good Days so that shit rings in my head every day because of her.” Zion laughed, “What have you been listening to this week? Any new music you wanna share? Put us on.

Brilliant cracked up in laughter at the mention of Channing. “That baby got taste, because that’s my jam! But this week I’ve been on my Gangsta Brilli, I’ve been playing A Gangsta’s Pain by MoneyBagg on repeat. I think his track with Jhené is the perfect vibe, so if y’all need something to vibe to, with a nice little glass of wine, One of Dem Nights, but the whole album bops.”

“Okaaaay. Now see I haven’t always been a MoneyBaggYo fan up until his songs started getting airtime on the radio. I’ma definitely have to give that a listen once Channing is done boppin’ to her fave.

And that brings us right into the TEA for the day. I’ve known Brilliant for several years now and I feel like I’ve only known her as this amazing business women, wife and mother. We both know how crazy it can be going from Hashtag Living Single to Mommy Duties real quick once you’re married and have wifely duties, etc. How long did you know your Husband before you two decided to make it official AND tie the knot? Was marrying young something that you were open to or did it not matter? What’s that young love story you can’t wait to share with your kids?” Zion smiled as she looked over at Brilliant.

“So I always tell people that me and my husband’s love story is literally crazy, and I don’t think it could’ve happened any other way. Because were short on time, for the real how we met tea, watch our YouTube video! But..I think we dated for about a year before I got pregnant and just because of the type of man he is and how in love we were, and how happy we were when our son Justice was born, we got married when he was about 3 months. I honestly didn’t see myself marrying that young or having children..and my life did a whole 180. I just thought damn I’ll probably hate it here but when you have that person to make those defining moments with..it was a breeze and I found myself being happier with my little family than when I ran the streets. I don’t think marrying young is for everyone but when you make the right decision..man the moments you’ll create..priceless. Still a hot girl though, don’t get that twisted.” She said with a playful laugh.

“EXACTLYYY. I have to remind Lex all the time when he sees me playing dress up in my boots and coochie cutters that mama BEEN a stallion, okay?! Hot Girl Summer me, please!” She laughed, “No but seriously the feeeeels. I’m obsessed with the love you two have for each other. It’s infectious. But I’m sure it hasn’t always been cupcakes and rainbows, right. Y’all, shit gets real after the wedding and the vows and even after that honeymoon phase. I know for me and Carmelo, I’m more of the opinionated one and I really had to learn to step down and let my man LEAD our home. We were pregnant before the wedding ... liiike ya girl had her dress taken OUT 4 times before I was satisfied with how my hips looked in it.” She chuckled, “You said something so special, when you have that person to make memories with you will DEFINITELY not want to live a single day without them and expanding that love into children only makes it better. Melo was trying to get me pregnant BEFORE he proposed to me and I wasn’t having it because at the time I was dealing with fertility issues and having a baby seemed damn near impossible. I always say that he spoke the life of our son, Lexington, into existence because I didn’t think that I could physically carry.” She stated, smiling again at the thought.

“I remember you alls last video where you announced the pregnancy of my other child, Jewel” She chuckled, “Um, what was the experience like for you? Having to go through all that you did for the blessing that is currently your literal shadow. She looks like her Daddy but has your everything else. What was that like?”

“That’s your child for sure.” She said with a laugh. “It was actually on the difficult side, she’s my rainbow baby. I suffered a miscarriage and some issues with fertility so I actually got pregnant with Jewel through IVF. I adore her, it’s scary having a mini version of myself. Someone who’s with all my hair, makeup and nail antics because my son Justice is not with it at all! He won’t even let me take his picture half the time.” She laughed momentarily. “I know it’s the same way with you and my baby Channing”

“I can imagine it being extremely difficult. When God’s mind is made up we can only pray that He’s included us in His plans and when he made Channing? He definitely had me in mind.” She laughed. “I still don’t know how we got so lucky but I don’t question anything. She’s obsessed with all of my clothes and hair and everything in between.”

“The last thing I wanted to talk to you about is what’s been going on in the media with Porsha, Falynn, and the Husband who I don’t even know his name yet. So Porsha Williams brought onto the Real Housewives of Atlanta show her friend Falynn a few years ago. Maybe like two seasons ago. This is someone who was also featured on this last season of the RHOA show that was filmed in 2020. Apparently the two are no longer friends and Porsha is now ENGAGED to Falynns’ Husband because they haven’t even gotten a divorce yet. I wan’t to know your thoughts on the whole situation. What type of friendship dynamic do you think they had for Porsha to be comfortable MARRYING this man?”

“Engaged. To. A. Former. Friend’s. Husband.” She said slowly before letting out a low sigh. “Now, the first mistake she made was being engaged or dating a man who is still married. I don’t care what the circumstances are, he is legally married! It is literally code and decency not to date or marry after your friends. If y’all are friends or have ever called each other friends, that’s just unacceptable. I would beat the breaks off anyone I called a friend for going after my husband if we ever were to divorce. That’s just grimy and I don’t think Falynn is mad enough. I do know though, one of my followers who is a hair stylist said how she married one of her old client’s ex husband and child’s father. Do you think that’s acceptable? Say I did a woman’s hair for years and nothing besides that and I went on to date her ex?”

“Absolutely not. Unacceptable and I’m the type of crazy that belongs in jail so you already know how that’s gone gooo. It’ll forever be up until they give me life.” Zion laughed and shook her head, “Period. Porsha is most definitey a fucked up individual but I would LOVE to hear y’alls thoughts on the matter so leave alll comments in the comment section below.” 

“Thank you all so much for listening to me and Brilliant catch up. Brilliant please tell my listeners where they can follow you and how they can support The Glamour Parlour. Alsooo, when’s the next brunch or giveaway?”

“It has been sooo fun talking with you! I’m glad I got the opportunity to talk with to boss friend Zion! I get this question a lot..so often.” She let out a low laugh. “All I’ll say is to stay tuned, we’ll be turning up soon and the giveaways won’t stop!”

“Ayyyy so there it is people, the beautiful Brilliant O’neal. Be sure to check her out across all social media platforms at @brillixdis​ and I’ll talk to you in the next episode. Byyyyyyyye.”

[shelli-gator]

Talk about your Pancho headcannons!!!!!!

HECK YEAH BABY LETS GO!!!!1!!!11!11! HOO-AH

EDIT: I noticed there are more Pancho asks so I’m breaking it up! PART 1 BABY

Backstory

- Pancho was born to a family of crowned lemurs that originally escaped Uncle King Julien’s kingdom. They live in one of the many small lemur colonies scattered around the island, and they’re the perfect targets for UKJ’s Footstall Program.

- Pancho gets taken from his family at 11 years old, and convinced that this is a special program his parents enrolled him in. After that he goes through years of abuse in all its forms, brainwashing and grooming him to kill on command.

- He proves he can do it when commanded to kill his family. To help him cope, his poor fractured mind remembers his family as the manure bags, which were there when he killed them. If he can visualize the doll as Julien, he can surely do the opposite with his family, seeing them as bags to spare him from seeing the terrible thing he did.

Certainly makes this scene a lot more distressing. *weeps bitterly* 

- Despite killing his family, Pancho also frequently proves unable to kill his Julien doll. He’s soft and emotional, and UKJ deems him a failure. He programs him with the Final Protocol, like a fail-safe in case Pancho can’t ‘pull the trigger’. Hence he says “You big lump of sea salt taffy, you’re a disappointment. Which is why I created the Final Protocol in the first place.”

- After this, Pancho’s memories are wiped, and he’s left on the outskirts of the village for Willie to find at 17 years of age. The program continues on for years without him, long enough for Clover to witness the end of it when she works for UKJ.

- Pancho joins high school with Willie and Horst, living with Willie. But his lack of memories makes him angry and frustrated, and he acts out with petty crime and vandalism, until he takes it too far and gets imprisoned with a 5 year sentence. He doesn’t attend their prom, and he doesn’t graduate.

- He meets Andy Fairfax in prison. They eventually become friends/associates, but Andy escapes without him. Pancho gets released after 3 years for good behavior, and as a homeless lad he moves from friend to friend, living on their couches as he goes back to doing crime with Andy intermittently. Other times he works as a bouncer and life guard. (he’s a REALLY good swimmer) He also does other odd jobs wherever he’s needed.

Relationships

- Pancho is a closeted bisexual for years, until he ‘wrestles’ with Andy. From then on he’s openly and proudly bi. But he’s always had inklings that he liked guys.

- Before he gets his memories back, Pancho struggles to fill the void of not knowing who he is by pursuing many relationships, struggling to find some sense of stability in his chaotic vagrant life. He thinks he falls deeply for the girls that come and go, but the moment the ‘honeymoon’ phase wears off, he finds he’s still miserable.

- His relationships didn’t last because he was essentially a broken person trying to find self fulfillment in others. It doesn’t work, but when he finds out who he is, he can finally start having healthy and non-destructive relationships.

- The first time Pancho is mentioned, he’s said to be cuddling and canoodling with a new lady. And when asked if love is in the air, Julien says “I sure hope so, Pancho needs it.” So I use it for my HC that Pancho often went from one women to the next, either by his own doing or no fault of his own, and lives with them to not be homeless (that’s already a big no in a relationship). And Julien is familiar with this, which is pretty wild.

He’s also big into PDA and physical affection based on this, but he also confirms later he’s into snuggling.

- He married both his wives quickly to try to hold onto that honeymoon bliss, but those marriages didn’t last much longer than the others. He inadvertently sabotaged them by turning back to crime with Andy, and his 2nd wife divorced him by the start of s4.

- I HC Julien was at Pancho’s first wedding as if to celebrate the village down on his luck former felon and vagrant finally getting it all sorted and getting married. So much for that. 

- He’s still on good terms with his ex wives however, and is actually a better friend to them than he ever was a husband. He’s the type to make sure their new mates are treating them right, often through devious means. He gets them roses on their birthdays and on Valentines day, and they bring him home cooked meals and things to decorate his hut with.

- Pancho is a romantic, and quite charming when he wants to be. His 2nd wife was the only one who had a flower bracelet at prom, and I HC he stole it from someone else and used it to ask her to go to prom with him, as a way to try to reignite their marriage. But his wife soon finds out he stole it, and she’s absolutely livid. His heart was in the right place, but it would have meant more to her if he’d stopped stealing entirely.

- Pancho likes to show his affection in grand gestures. Like blowing up stuff, setting off fireworks, sparklers, and stealing things for his mate that he knows he’ll like. Like with Julien, he loves to steal paint for him, and all manner of other curiosities to keep his ADHD babe happy.

- He down to fool around and have ‘casual fun’ with his friends every day of the week, hence I like to say he’s ‘homiesexual’

General

- Pancho isn’t great at talking when put on the spot. He’s great at heists, but don’t ask him to con someone. He couldn’t talk his way out of a situation to save his life, literally.

- Despite not being book smart, he’s incredibly streetwise. He’s quick on his feet, and out of the group he’ll be the one to take action, one way or another. His plans might not always work the way he wants them to, but they work out in the end.

- He’s always been a bit of a King Julien fanboy. He admired him, and before he got his memories back he always felt like there was something important about him specifically. Why would he have the Julien doll? But when he bring it up, his friends write it off as ‘Everyone likes Julien!’, and Pancho doesn’t push the issue.

- Pancho doesn’t know when his actual birthday is, so his birthday is the day Willie found him.

- He stress eats, and tends to eat more than he should. This is a subconscious result of his training, where food was used as a motivator, and starvation as punishment.

- This mad lad is one of the kingdom’s best trampers, and Julien joins him for tramping sessions, even before Panchurian. 

- He enjoys reading, and likes Mort and Clover’s books a lot. He knows some big words because of this, but he doesn’t know what half of them mean, hence he applies them incorrectly at times. 

- He does remember the phrase used to trigger himself, but he’s too scared to, and rightly so. He does attempt to remember his training however, so he can tap into his mad fighting skills without needing to trigger himself.

- Pancho highly values loyalty. He becomes loyal to KJ and is keen to help in any way that he can. He finds his home in his king and friends, and is eventually a welcome and much treasured member of Julien’s inner circle of friends. 

- He isn’t a confident dancer. He tries his best though, and isn’t bad at slow dancing. When he does dance though, and really lets himself have fun without thinking about it, he shakes his hips a lot and rolls his shoulders, and just vibes with the people he’s dancing with, especially Julien. He makes him feel confident, because to Julien there’s no right or wrong, there’s just dancing. Ultimately, he’s not a great dancer like Ted, Julien or Willie, but he’s not terrible.

[danwhobrowses]

Minor F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Rant - Ross is NOT the Worst

So I’ve hit a little breaking point here. We all know that Friends is iconic, reruns on loop are a huge part of many people’s downtime

But recently, everyone seems to get on Ross Geller’s ass

I think most of it is because it’s easy to pick on him, he’s neurotic and has a tendency to whine and be stubborn. The ‘We were on a break’ debacle still gets argued today - and they were on a break, Rachel even clarified ‘a break from us’, and it’s not like he went to the bar with intention to sleep with someone AND he was 100% right about Mark.

Here’s the thing though, everyone says ‘Ross is awful’ But every one of the Friends are awful, that’s the point, they are all flawed people who try to grow in a way where they get stability. Some may say ‘yeah, but Ross is the worst’ but to that I ask...is he? He’s certainly not great, being snobby, self-loathing and fragile in his masculinity

But let’s consider what the others have done Note: This is not a ‘Why XXX Deserves More Respect’ post, so I’m not all out defending Ross here, I’m just pointing out that his fellow Friends are not as pristine as made out

Phoebe - Phoebe’s past itself is layered in mystery and violence, at some point she stabbed a cop and she mugged a kid Ross, so we will glance over that as her having a past, but I don’t think Ross ever impersonated a police officer, a literal crime, and only got off because the officer was attracted to her. She also implies to be a bigamist since she was married to the ‘gay’ ice skater and also implied to have been married in Vegas, believing that it only counts in Vegas. She also immediately dates her identical twin sister’s ex-fiancé when he broke up with her which is a little bit sketchy, and off-handedly bullies Ross and Chandler, finding times to mock and undermine them. Not to mention the fact that she kissed David while dating Mike, and she also stole a kid’s cat thinking her mother’s soul was in it.

Monica - Equally if not more neurotic due to her OCD, Monica has that destructive side to her too. She sabotaged Rachel’s chances with Jean Claude Van Damme out of jealousy, she dated her ex’s son and she bet away her and Rachel’s apartment in the heat of competitiveness. While an accident she was also reckless with Ben and hit his head and her marriage to Chandler apparently mattered little when she flirted with Celebrities on the roof party. Monica’s hands may be the cleanest of the six but she is not without her faults.

Chandler - Perhaps the most neurotic and self-sabotaging, Chandler is partly responsible for a few of Ross’ relationships falling apart; letting slip that Ross had feelings for Rachel, making Ross write a pros and cons list between Rachel and Julie and taking him to a bar after the break - not to mention telling Ross not to be honest about it and erase all evidence of sleeping with the Xerox Girl, Chloe. He also leaves Ross’ son on a bus - who he took mainly to pick up women, kisses Joey’s sisters and then doesn’t recognize which one he kissed, toys on Rachel’s boss Joanna twice, kisses Joey’s girlfriend, steals several cheesecakes he doesn’t pay for and tells a kid he’s adopted, which is pretty damaging stuff. He also almost runs out on his wedding with Monica, and in an attempt to prank Ross says he has sex with Dinosaurs, and then that he’s dead. His fear of commitment also made him toy with Janice for the early seasons of their on-off relationship.

Joey - I mean, let’s just set aside most of the bachelor stuff, Joey has courted a few taken women, for instance his ex Angela who he wrapped Monica into helping so she could date Angela’s then-boyfriend too, he also slept with Kate while both were dating other people. Outside of dating he also attempted to sabotage one of his students for a part in a show, he abandons Chandler on a highway when he rightfully shows doubts about this movie gig and is too stubborn to admit that Chandler was right, he also threw Ginger’s wooden leg into a fire and bolted and like Chandler lost Ben, contributed to sabotaging Ross with the list and took Ross to a bar during the break. He impersonates a Doctor to get personal information on a patient for Phoebe, tries to steal an award he claims in someone else’s stead and tried to steal his childhood toy from a baby! Joey’s personality is the only thing that really makes people look past his flaws.

Rachel - people say Ross is the worst, but I’d contest that Rachel is far more destructive than Ross, especially towards Ross himself, the on-off relationship of the two had often caused Rachel to be conniving and borderline sociopathic towards him. Most of Ross’ non-Rachel relationships are sabotaged by Rachel - the most direct sabotage being convincing Bonnie to shave her head so she could appear the more attractive option - she invites conflict even without thinking about whether she actually wants to be with Ross, she also does this to Joey. She acts really hostile to Ross’ partners, Julie especially - even Ross was less aggressive towards Mark than Rachel was to Julie, the same can be said with Charlie too when Joey was dating her but not to the same extent as Julie. After kicking Ross out of her office for trying to do a romantic gesture on their year anniversary she instigates the ‘break’, and then immediately let Mark, the focal point of their core argument leading to this break, into her apartment even though she had to know it’d hurt Ross - which it does since this action also causes Ross to spiral further into sleeping with the Xerox girl. After that in Barbados, she was petty enough to immediately after breaking up Ross and Bonnie write an 18 page front-and-back waiver just to justify herself as in the right to date Ross again, in the aftermath of that she also dates a college student just to spite Ross - before Ross then dates a college student and Rachel then dates Elizabeth’s dad. No list of Rachel’s constant sabotage of Ross’ relationships would be complete without mentioning that time she went to (and successfully achieved to) stop Ross and Emily’s wedding too, Ross was legitimately happy and Rachel went to London, professed her love, realised how stupid she was being, and then still won the day. Rachel also demonstrates a lack of independence and petty jealousy of others, seen when out of jealousy for Chandler and Monica getting engaged she tries to booty call Ross twice, the second time getting her pregnant. She also tends to play victim even when she’s in the wrong; when Vegas happened, she painted Ross as a gay heroin addict for the annulment which spirals into Ross having the third divorce he wanted to avoid, she would also later reveal that she remembers suggesting they get married too. She also tries to lump blame on Ross for getting her pregnant even though the video proves that she came onto him and throws Ross under the bus with her father when confronted on why she is not with Ross despite having his baby.

Obviously, in spite of this people will sympathize with Rachel because Barry cheated on her and then went on their honeymoon with the person he cheated on, Maid of Honor Mindy, and because they would also feel that Ross cheated on her too. But Rachel was not above cheating herself: she had sex with Barry knowing he was engaged to Mindy, she would also be Mindy’s maid of honor for that wedding, on top of that she also convinced Ross to let her go on Ross and Emily’s honeymoon, the same thing she was mad at Barry for doing - meaning she was a hypocrite as well. Outside of Ross, Rachel also intentionally conspired to make Chandler and Monica uncomfortable for keeping their relationship secret, she dates her assistant Tag and breaks up with him on her birthday simply because he didn’t fit into her ‘plan’, she stole Monica’s perfect baby name and immediately agrees to marry Joey just so she wouldn’t be alone after having Ross’ baby. In the final episodes she also agrees to a job in Paris without considering how this’d affect Ross, the father of her child who already had to barely see his other son, when she intended to take Emma with her.

As entertaining the characters are they are, by design, not flawless; many times being vengeful saboteurs, having tendencies to be hostile, jealous, unfaithful, judgmental, hypocritical and compulsive liars, with each reaching maturation points at different points in the show (if at all) only in later seasons when they settle down. 

While this does include Ross in having his fair share of unlikable moments, I have always felt that it’s unfair that Ross becomes the ‘easy target’ especially when in my opinion Rachel is worse but forgiven mostly because she’s the pretty face and Ross looks like David Schwimmer.

[artificialqueens]

drawing new lines, chapter ten (Branjie) - Holtzmanns

past chapters here on ao3 | word count: 3594

AN: Already time for the penultimate chapter. Thank you all SO, so much for all the kind words, the sweet reviews, the tumblr asks, everything. I know this ship isn’t in its heyday anymore due to the new season but the fact that you still care enough to read and show some appreciation is the nicest thing, and is so encouraging as a writer. So thank you for all that YOU guys do for me, too <3 Writ beta’d this, of course, and continues to be the best, of course.

Of all the places that Brooke has ever wanted to get blackout drunk, a wedding shower is the last place she’s expected from herself.

It’s not that she wants to be messy, because she really doesn’t. She just wants the entire thing to be wiped from her brain in the near future, because so far, it’s absolutely nauseating.

Everything is just so fake. The ’congratulations’ banners that hang from every wall, the napkins and cupcakes and party favours and plates that are inscribed with N and B because Nina and her fiancé are somehow still together, somehow looking nauseatingly happy on the outside, even though Brooke knows the truth about how Nina’s been questioning her decisions. All of the fake happiness isn’t real, none of it is real when the two of them are probably going to break up a few years after getting married, when they’re not in the honeymoon phase anymore. It’s stupid.

So maybe Brooke’s jaded. A little bitter. But she’s allowed to be.

“You’re missing a riveting game of ‘pin the dick on the dude’, especially ‘cause someone just pinned one on his face.” Detox slides into the seat next to Brooke, a mimosa glass in each hand.

“Somehow, this is a version of pin the tail on the donkey that I don’t care to miss.” Brooke really doesn’t understand straight women. She doesn’t. Pinning a paper dick on a poster of Nina’s fiancé on the wall isn’t exactly high on her to-do list.

“Just wait ‘til her bachelorette party. The amount of dicks that are going to be involved? Oh boy.” Detox snickers, tapping her fingernails on the counter.

Brooke wrinkles her nose. “Are those really necessary?”

“As official bachelorette party planner, yes. All the dick decorations.” Detox wiggles her eyebrows. “Or should I say, dickorations-”

“Gross.” Brooke groans when Detox lets out a snicker. “If it’s on a dude, I don’t want it. Especially if that dude is Nina’s fiancé.”

“Is that why you’re sitting here all grumpy?” Detox hands Brooke one of the mimosas, and she doesn’t hesitate in taking a sip from it. “‘Cause of pin the tail on Ben’s crotch?”

“Is this not just so…convoluted to you?” Brooke trails her eyes around the room as she tries to come up with words to explain. But it’s hard, especially because everyone seems to be having fun. But what’s the point?

“What, party games?”

“No, everything else. Like, celebrating two people about to get married. As if half of marriages don’t end in divorce, anyway.”

Detox’s eyebrows raise to her hairline. “Woah there, wedding Scrooge. This is one of your best friends who’s about to get married, you know that, right?”

“Right,” Brooke sighs, “sorry.”

Detox shrugs. “Hey, don’t apologize to me. As long as you don’t spill to Nina about how you don’t like her schlong-related party games, I think you’re safe.”

“At least she’s happy.” Brooke looks over, sees the way Nina is giggling in delight while taking a sip of her drink.

Is Nina happy, though, when a couple of weeks ago she had been a mess over the same guy?

Brooke figures she has a chance to find out when the wedding shower ends and the guests head home, as she sticks around to help Nina tidy up the mess. It’s nice, as they clean up in tandem, Nina babbling about her dress and her wedding photographer, both of which make Brooke’s eyebrows rise when Nina tells her the costs.

“The venue is so nice, B, it’s gonna be by the lake and next to a winery, which means so many pretty pictures! We’re going on another tour of it in a few weeks and I can’t wait to start thinking about decorations and colour schemes and the flowers, all of the flowers. Will flower crowns for the bridesmaids be too much, you think?” Nina lets it all out in one breath, twirling the garbage bag in her hand as they clear up all the empty plates and cups.

“I bet it’ll be fine.” Brooke tries to be delicate with her words, not outright ask what she really wants to because maybe it’s a little bit rude, but-

She can’t help it.

“Nina?”

“Hmm?” Nina, sweet Nina, looks over at her with her eyes alight, a smile on her face, as if her drunk breakdown in the bathroom a few weeks had never even happened.

“So you guys are good, then?” Brooke supposes that they must be, for Nina to be back to her regular level of excitement about the wedding planning. Because what else could even explain it?

Nina tilts her head, her eyebrows in a gentle furrow. “What do you mean?”

Christ. Brooke doesn’t want to have to spell it out. “It’s just…a little different from how you were feeling the night of Detox’s birthday, that’s all. When you were slightly panicking over whether this was the right choice.”

Brooke’s curious, that’s it. Because how could Nina have jumped from the two extremes so fast? It makes no sense. How do you decide on someone just like that, after being on the fence for so long?

Nina shrugs. “It’s not me settling, if that’s what you’re wondering. Sometimes you just gotta go with what you have, y’know? He’s good enough, and I’m happy.”

Is she?

“Are you? A few weeks ago you were crying in the bathroom into a toilet bowl.” Brooke doesn’t mean for it to come out so bluntly, but it’s true, especially when Nina had looked more lost than Brooke had ever seen her before.

“I was also drunk, B.” Nina gives Brooke a look as if she should know better, and it makes her want to scream.

“But they always say that drunk words are sober thoughts.” Brooke knows she’s pushing into territory that she shouldn’t, that she should be happy that her friend is happy, but-

“Why do you care so much?” Nina turns towards her, leaning an arm against the counter and Brooke has to stop herself from shrinking under her gaze. “I was in my feelings. Relationships fluctuate, it’s normal to second guess decisions, even if they’re the right ones. I know you’re blissfully happy dating Vanessa, but not everyone is in a permanent honeymoon stage like you two.”

Brooke’s heart trips at the mention of Vanessa’s name. She’s been doing so well, trying not to think about her and pushing all feelings about her away. She’s been dealing, she has.

Because she has to.

“I’m-” Brooke pauses, because the tightening in her chest is pulling just a little too hard, making her forget any words that she can use to explain because…

Vanessa. Her smile, the way her eyes flutter when she sleeps, the way she loves snuggling with Henry, the way she yells at the TV.

But Brooke needs to scrub her brain of the memories, because Vanessa isn’t hers and won’t ever be hers, even though the entire world fucking thinks so because they had been such good actors.

Brooke’s always been good at nuking herself.

“You’re what?” Nina raises an eyebrow as she waits for her to continue, her face a little softer, less defensive. Brooke wants to laugh, she really does, at how Nina’s spun the focus onto her now. She’s good.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about Vanessa and I.” So what if Brooke scrubs at the counter a little too hard, trying to get rid of an imaginary stain that’s not even there in the first place?

Nina lets out a little laugh. “What, that you’re perfect with each other? The cutest couple? Yeah, we know.”

Brooke lets out a huff, because Nina doesn’t get it, no one gets it. “It’s not like that, we’re-”

“Doing great? Just fine, so you’re trying to make me question my own relationship instead?”

“We’re not together, okay?” Brooke’s voice breaks because of course it does, and she forgets how to breathe for a second because not keeping it inside anymore somehow feels wrong, against the rules.

Those arbitrary rules, the ones that left Brooke more of a mess than she wants to admit.

They’re not together. They’re not. Brooke’s always known that. So why is it suddenly hard to draw air into her own lungs?

“You guys broke up? When?” Nina’s face softens as she drops the garbage bag in her hands, her expression shifting to one of sympathy and Brooke hates it, she does, because she doesn’t need it. “Brooke, I’m so sorry-”

“We never were! This, all of this… It wasn’t real. None of it was fucking real.”

None of it was real.

Not the kisses, not the cuddles, not the constant texting, none of it.

Brooke’s known it since the beginning, she had signed up for it willingly with Vanessa. She had been ready to fool everyone, they both had been.

So why does the reminder hurt so damn much?

“What?” Nina’s eyebrows are raising higher and higher, and Brooke can see the cogs slowly turning in her brain. “What do you mean? How? What?”

“Haven’t seen you look this lost since we went to that French restaurant and the menu wasn’t in English.” Brooke tries to offer a little smile, because maybe if she stops now, doesn’t think about it, she can still get through this unscathed.

Though Nina has other plans.

“Stop deflecting, just…what? What do you mean it wasn’t real? The two of you being practically glued to each other, the way you looked at her like some light was shining out of her head…that wasn’t real?”

“I didn’t do that.” Brooke mutters it under her breath, because she didn’t. No way.

“Shit, Brooke. From the way you both looked at each other, I thought you were starting to like, fully fall in love. I’ve never seen you so smitten. Ever, actually. That had to be real.” Nina doesn’t believe it, Brooke can tell, from the disbelieving scoff in her voice.

Brooke almost wants to share the same denial.

“She asked me to be her fake girlfriend so that she could win a bet. Literally all it was.” Brooke doesn’t mean for her voice to sound so hollow, because it’s true.

That’s all it had been. All they both signed up for. Nothing more than that.

Is that why Vanessa had pulled away?

Brooke’s heart had started to take over by convincing her that maybe, maybe, there had been more between them. But there can’t be, not when the twisting in her chest feels way more painful than any scrape, any muscle soreness from a workout class. It’s too much, the fact that one person has the capacity to make Brooke feel like this, even when she’s not physically present and breathing in front of her.

Brooke’s not sure when Vanessa had first twirled her way into her soul, pushing aside any doubts and fears in her mind without either of them even realizing that she’d done so. It’s disconcerting, to look back now and realize how much of an exception Vanessa had been to Brooke’s ironfast rules. She’d been someone that Brooke could talk to, tell anything to. Someone that Brooke had felt comfortable pulling in close to her, someone that Brooke had invited over - not for sex, but to meet her pets. Make dinner with her. Someone that Brooke had gotten closer to without even realizing, someone that Brooke still cares for so damn much-

But she can’t. It’s not worth it, not when Brooke feels like she can’t breathe anymore because she misses Vanessa so much.

“No wonder you agreed in the first place.” Nina’s voice is soft as she reaches out, squeezes Brooke’s shoulder. “You never used to date.”

“Still don’t.” It’s a bitter laugh, the one that leaves Brooke’s mouth. Because she doesn’t. And won’t.

No fake dating, either. Not when it ends like this.

“But are you telling me none of that was real? Wait, let me finish-” Nina holds up a hand when Brooke begins to protest, shushes her, and Brooke has to stop herself from letting out a huff. “You’d light up like a Christmas tree, telling me about your dates and little things about her because you liked talking about her so much. And at the holiday party you guys fit so well together, you looked at her even when she didn’t notice with this tiny little smile on your face and before you call me weird for remembering that, it’s ‘cause you’re my best friend and I’ve never seen you look smitten before. Like, ever.”

“I’m just a really good actor.” It’s fruitless, not when Brooke doesn’t believe it herself, not really. “But now that you say it, it’s weird you remembered that, Nina. Sure that’s not a bunch of bull?”

Nina gives her a look. “Please. I lie to you about how you look good in magenta, not about shit like this.”

“Wait, what is that about magenta-”

Nina waves a hand. “Point is? You had something, Brooke. Maybe you still have it, I don’t know. You gotta tell me more. But is it worth not going after just because it didn’t start out that way?”

“Maybe it isn’t. Maybe I don’t want it.” Brooke doesn’t. Not if it makes her feel this shit.

“I’m calling bullshit on that. Not when you look so happy with her.” Nina’s looking at her like it’s so easy, like being with Vanessa is something that can happen without any complications whatsoever. She doesn’t get it.

Brooke sighs. “It’s not that easy.”

If only it could be. If only she had the option of just reuniting with Vanessa and smoothing everything over, having their previous expectations give into something else, something realer. But she doesn’t even know if Vanessa feels it either, if she’s on the same page.

Hell, Brooke doesn’t even know what page she’s on herself anymore.

Vanessa shouldn’t do something as stupid as going and calling Brooke.

She shouldn’t.

Who’s to say Brooke’s going to pick up, anyway? Not when Brooke had made it clear that they’re done, that whatever existed between them was done. That she never wants to see Vanessa again.

Quite frankly? Vanessa deserves it.

Except that Vanessa misses Brooke so fucking much.

She thinks back to her last breakup with Aquaria. It had been pretty amicable on both sides, the two of them letting each other go because they just knew that they weren’t a fit. That they’d be happier off separate from one another, and that constant irritations and bickering weren’t exactly an ideal setting to build a relationship upon.

Vanessa had healed from it. Sure, she’d allowed herself a little bit of shade, a little jealousy, but as far as breakups go, it hadn’t been devastating to the immediate world around her. She had been fine.

Brooke hadn’t even been Vanessa’s actual girlfriend, but this? This feels worse.

She can’t stop picturing Brooke on her couch, Brooke reaching for her hand without even realizing it. They way they have (had) so much in common, talking about all their fears and hopes and dreams because it had felt safe. Right.

And now that the friendship is gone-

Had it been a friendship? On paper, yes. They had been partners in crime who became fast friends. But then it had been more under the guise of faking it and sure, they had been faking it in front of their friends and on social media, but then there had been so much that they hadn’t shown to others. That had just been for them.

That has to count for something, right?

Vanessa opens their text chain for the twentieth time that day, biting her lip because the unanswered message really hurts, even though she had done the same thing to Brooke a few days before that. But she has to try, she has to try and reach out to Brooke again because if she doesn’t, then she’s not going to be able to live with herself-

Incoming call from Brooke Lynn Hytes, 8:12 p.m.

Brooke needs to hang up, she can’t do this, she shouldn’t do this, she-

“Hello?”

Breathe, she needs to breathe, maybe this was a bad idea, maybe she should hang up-

“Brooke? Are you there?”

God, she needs to say something before Vanessa thinks she’s a creep or something. She’s already written notes on what to say, for god’s sake, she just needs to get it out. Except that the words are trapped in her throat, wrapped up in layers of self doubt and second guessing and maybe this is a bad idea, going with her instincts and just calling without psyching herself out of it.

She can’t.

“I can hear your loudass breathing. Imma talk, then.”

Brooke’s not a loud breather. But maybe it’s better if Vanessa takes over, because she can’t talk, not right now.

“I’m sorry I iced you out. I didn’t know what else to do because I liked it so damn much. Spending time with you and doing things and just being with you and telling you everything and I started fucking catching feelings for you and I know that’s bad, I’m sorry, ‘cause I know you’re not interested and not into that shit and it’s fine, I can tamper it down I promise even though the bet is kinda done, I just don’t wanna lose you because this last little while has been shit without you ‘cause you’re the first one I wanna tell everything and the only one I wanna turn to and it’s fucking hard-”

“I love you.”

“What?”

Brooke doesn’t mean for it to come out, and shit shit shit, it’s too much and she needs to never open her mouth again because she’s gonna keep fucking up everything around her-

“Brooke?”

Brooke doesn’t know what dying feels like but maybe it’s akin to this, because her heart has never beat so fast and the living room around her is a little hazy, a little out of focus. The clock on her wall ticks loud enough to make her flinch, adding a slow drumroll to the way the blood is rushing in her veins.

There’s no taking it back now.

Maybe Vanessa will hate her. Maybe Vanessa won’t want to see her again. But she can’t keep living like this, not anymore.

“I fucking love you, and I’m sorry.” Brooke’s sorry because it’s going to keep messing everything up, Vanessa just has a few feelings and now Brooke’s gone and said this, but she’s not taking it back, not now. She can’t.

“The hell are you sorry for? Saying that? ‘Cause I love you too, so fucking much that it hurts and I miss you so much, B.”

The way that Vanessa’s voice breaks on the phone makes Brooke’s heart drop, because she doesn’t want her to be hurt anymore, to feel upset and Brooke can’t do this over the phone, she needs to be where Vanessa is in person because it’s too far, they’re too far.

“I’m coming over.”

Brooke is five subway stops too far from Vanessa.

The pattern that her fingers tap out on her thigh is reminiscent of her workout playlist, too fast and frantic but she’s going to implode if she doesn’t have the chance to move at all. The subway ads are only interesting to read for so long, and the bored commuters on the train are a stark contrast from her, some with their eyes closed, some with their noises buried in books.

Brooke wishes she could know the secret as to how they’re all capable of shutting off their minds just like that.

Maybe it’s easier for everyone else on this train because none of them are going towards Vanessa, because no one else has so many unspoken things to let out for once and for all. Because no one else on this train knows what Brooke is feeling, the jolt that’s now been sent to her heart after realizing she’s been changed by another person and never wants to go back.

Brooke wants Vanessa’s hand in hers, drawing soft circles while the warmness of her palm acts like an anchor, pulling the frantic beating of her heart back enough for her to breathe.

The ding and announcement of Vanessa’s stop is a relief, feeling like a weight lifted because now Brooke can move again, up the station stairs and even though her muscles are straining and she’s out of breath it’s better, because at least she’s doing something, making some progress. It feels strange, walking - no, running - through these familiar streets knowing what’s coming, knowing how different everything is going to be.

And Brooke wants it, welcomes it, for once in her life.

Of course Vanessa lives on the top floor, of course Brooke has to watch the floors climb ever so slowly, people coming in and out of the elevator as if they don’t have any cares in the world, as if they don’t get it, but it’s okay, it’s all okay when Brooke reaches the 20th floor and it’s Vanessa’s and she’s only one hallway away from her.

One hallway that shrinks into a handful of steps, a catch of a breath, a quick fiddle with her hair before Brooke knocks. Because Vanessa’s on the other side with wide eyes that sparkle, tugging Brooke inside by her wrist and going on her tiptoes to press a kiss to her lips that Brooke immediately deepens, and it’s worth it.

Because the kiss is real.

[mgkconfessions]

Not on the same Page

I believe that the insider information can either come from Kells’, Megan’s and Brian’s team themselves or they have shady friends who they should drop immediately! A lot of it will come from hear say too tho. As we’ve already noticed these sources can be quite contradictory and I’m wondering if that’s because they either don’t really know anything or come from one of the three teams and it seems like neither of them work together and they all follow their own strategy and some of these strategies don’t go along. For example Kells is out here having a romantic picnic, dedicating a music video to Megan, saying that he’s in love, so he’s clearly taking this all very seriously, but then an article comes out which states that Megan thinks the relationship isn’t serious enough yet and it’s still too new to introduce him to her kids. That must have been a slap in the face for Kells. I would take it very seriously too to introduce someone to my children, but again Kells is acting like they’re already in big love and then Megan completely steps back and kinda makes him look like a love sick puppy, who is running after her, while she gives him the cold shoulder, because she isn’t sure about their relationship yet. Regardless of these sources and if they are true or not, I’m under the impression that Megan isn’t emotionally and mentally there where Kells acts like he is. And it makes sense, because Megan sounded like she wanted to focus on her career and enjoy her life, but not like she was looking for the next long term relationship. So although she might be excited about Kells and what they’re having right now, it doesn’t mean that she wants to be with him long term, because she just got out of a relationship that probably felt like it lasted her entire life and now she wants to jump right into the next long term relationship? It sounds more like a classic rebound and Kells is great for that. He’s fun, he brings the excitement and he seems to be the opposite of Brian. But I don’t think that Megan is looking for her next husband at the moment. Especially since neither of them is talking about a divorce. The biggest red flag! Brian is literally saying that he doesn’t want to sign anything. He still believes in this marriage and Megan has to think about it if Kells is worth it to throw away everything that whole life and family that she built up with Brian. And I’m sorry, but Kells isn’t worth it and no one seems to take him seriously either. Not even Brian or their friends. Maybe also another reason why Kells tries so hard to convince everyone, because he’s seen as filling the gap, but then Megan will go back to Brian and everything goes back to normal.

I also noticed that Kells and Megan lost their chemistry. They had a lot of chemistry in the Bloody Valentine music video and also at the birthday party. But when you look at their paparazzi pictures now that were taken like 6 weeks after they started dating, where they should still be in their honeymoon phase and all over each other, there is no chemistry there anymore, no sparks are flying and Kells looks drained and annoyed while Megan has not a lot of emotions going on.

Isn’t it funny how they get “caught” by paparazzi around the music video release, but managed to meet privately the whole time in between? So even in these “private” moments they look really unhappy and not very interested in each other. They hold hands and all and kiss each other, but I’m not seeing the excitement Megan allegedly were talking about anywhere on her face or the way she looks at Kells. Their paparazzi dates also became very weird. I guess it was only a question of time when she would be seen at his place, but he lives with 4 other guys, who invited girls around that time as well and it must be very loud and full there all the time. Maybe Megan had the children and she didn’t want Kells to come over, but because they still wanted to see each other they met at his place, which makes their relationship look more like Megan giving Kells a booty call than anything else :D.

I don’t think that Megan slept over, because others said that she only stayed the afternoon and left in the evening, so they only saw each other for a couple of hours, but her choice of clothes is very interesting. The open heals are self explaining, but she wore the exact same T-Shirt that Brian wore when he was seen with Courtney? Really Megan? You didn’t have anything else in your wardrobe, it had to be the same T-Shirt? I feel like she either wanted to say, Brian was seen with “his new girl” wearing this T-Shirt, now look at Megan, also being seen with her new guy, wearing the same thing! Or she sends him secret messages that although she’s with Kells, she still loves Brian. It’s just weird to wear the same T-Shirt only days after your ex wore it and I don’t believe in coincidences when it comes to Megan. I believe that she has a very well planned PR strategy to get back into the acting world and she wants to be talked about in little doses, but before it becomes too annoying, she disappears and you don’t hear anything about her. I’m sure that her PR strategy didn’t include a clingy lover, who acts like a teenager who fell in love for the first time. Matching nails even? What comes next? The same outfits? It’s so cheesy!!! Also in general everyone involved puts so much focus on their T-Shirts?! :D After Megan wore Kells’ merch and not many articles picked that up, he wore the same T-Shirt as well, it seems like this is the new marketing strategy in Hollywood ^^! Anyway Megan seems to put quality before quantity while Kells’ PR strategy is quantity over quality and that collides. I don’t think that they’re on the same page, when it comes to the PR strategies, because everyone is fighting for their own and they’re also not on the same page in their actual love life.

[eddie-boii]

Never Let You Go (part 14/14)

Fic info: Both Eddie and Stan live because I do what I want. Multichapter.

Rating: Mature.

Pairings: Reddie, Benverly.

Ao3 link: here

Summary: The Losers prepare for a wedding. 

This is it, guys. I’m gonna miss writing this :’)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

*

Sunlight streamed through the screen doors illuminating thousands of specks of dust as they swirled in the air in a gentle dance. Eddie let out a low groan as the light shone through his closed eyelids, rolling over in the bed and burying his face in Richie’s bare shoulder to shield himself from the harsh light. Richie shifted slightly in his sleep, his arms tightening around Eddie’s waist and pulling him close against his warm body. Richie may have complained his body wasn’t as aesthetically pleasing as Eddie’s, but in Eddie’s mind, it was the perfect body type for warm hugs.

He smiled against Richie’s shoulder, relishing this feeling of warm bodies tucked together beneath cosy sheets while outside, frost crept up the windows searching in vain for a way to get in. Eddie could get used to this.

He cracked his eyes open a little to check the clock on the bedside table and let out another groan.

“We should get up, Rich,” he said, pressing a kiss to Richie’s shoulder to wake him. Richie let out a whine and only pulled Eddie closer. “Come on, Trashmouth, we’ve gotta say bye to Ben and Bev before they go off on their honeymoon.”

“We can text them,” Richie mumbled. His face was pressed to Eddie’s neck so his voice came out muffled. “They’ll understand.”

“Come on, dickwad, you know you want to see them off,” Eddie laughed, prodding Richie’s chest. “And we need to fucking shower.” Richie groaned but released his death grip on Eddie slightly, instead moving to kiss him, but Eddie clamped a hand over his mouth before he could. “Ew, no, your breath smells like ass. Brush your teeth first.”

Richie kissed Eddie’s palm before tugging his hand away from his mouth. “Effort,” he whined. Still holding Eddie’s hand, he pressed kisses down his arm. “I can kiss everywhere but your mouth, right?” he said, moving to kiss Eddie’s forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his jaw…

“You’re such a fucking sap,” Eddie laughed. 

Richie hummed softly against his skin. “But you love me.”

“You’re never gonna fucking let that go, are you?”

“Never,” said Richie, his mouth trailing down to Eddie’s neck.

“Don’t leave any marks, remember,” Eddie warned him.

“I have a huge hickey on my hip that says you’re a fucking hypocrite.”

“No one’s gonna see that.”

“You never know,” said Richie, making his way down Eddie’s torso, his lips brushing tenderly over the scar. 

“Come on, Trashmouth,” said Eddie, pushing Richie away before he went any lower and they really did end up never leaving the bed. “We need to shower.”

Richie whined once more. “Don’t wanna.”

“We both need to shower,” said Eddie, looking at Richie pointedly until he finally got the message.

“Oh! Yes, we need to shower right away!” said Richie, practically leaping from the bed before shivering violently from the sudden cold. “Quick, before I freeze to death.” He grabbed both of Eddie’s hands and pulled up him, tugging him in the direction of the bathroom.

Eddie didn’t make it easy for him. He flopped down like a dead weight in Richie’s arms, and Richie huffed, told Eddie he was a bastard, then picked him up and carried him giggling over to the bathroom.

Yes, Eddie could really get used to this.

*

Eddie and Richie tried not to let their change in relationship status show when they went downstairs to meet the other Losers who had all gathered around the fire in the lobby once more, even going as far as to arrive at different times. They didn’t act overly friendly, didn’t touch each other too much aside from ‘accidental’ hand brushing, didn’t even glance at each other lest they accidentally gaze too long. But even so, Stanley took one look at them and -

“You two boned.”

“What the fuck, Stan?” said Eddie instantly. “No, we didn’t fucking bone.”

“Yeah, Stan,” said Richie. “We didn’t ‘bone’, we made love.”

“Richie!” Eddie squawked as Stan’s expression turned into one of triumph.

Richie only shrugged. “What? They were gonna find out anyway.”

He had a point, but Eddie scowled at him and turned away in a huff.

“Are you serious?” cried Bev not bothering to suppress her squeal. “Oh my god! I’m so happy for you two!”

“Fucking f-ff-finally,” said Bill.

“Congratulations, guys!” said Ben excitedly, leaping from his seat to pull them both into a tight hug.

“Woah, Haystack, watch the ribs,” Richie wheezed. “Don’t forget you’ve got huge-ass muscles now.”

Ben let them go with an apologetic smile and Mike pulled them into a hug in his stead, thankfully not as tight as Ben’s hug, although Mike did have some considerable muscles on him too.

“Wait,” said Mike after he’d released them. “Important question: did you two hook up before or after midnight?”

Eddie and Richie exchanged looks.

“You know, it was all kind of a blur,” said Eddie, his mouth twitching as he tried to hide his smirk.

“We really have no idea,” said Richie, not bothering to hide his.

“But then who wins the bet?” said Stan.

“Guess none of you assholes do,” said Eddie smugly. “Which serves you fucking right.”

“You mean to say we get no compensation for having to watch you two pine for thirty years?” said Stan.

“None at all,” said Richie. “And shut up, you only had to watch us pine for like three years.”

“Felt like thirty,” Stan grumbled.

“Oh, who cares about the bet? My favourite gays are finally together!” Beverly squealed. “I better be your maid of honour, Rich.”

“We literally just got together,” said Eddie at the same time Richie said, “Duh.”

“I mean-” Richie coughed, his face getting a little red. “Yeah, calm down Bev. We aren’t about to start picking out china patterns already.”

Eddie only smiled slightly, watching as his friends teased Richie for his little slip-up. He couldn’t really blame him for it; they had some catching up to do, after all.

Ben and Bev set off not long after, not wanting to miss their flight. Richie tried to persuade them to let him have Ember while they were gone, but Bev was adamant that the dog stay with her aunt who actually knew what she was doing and didn’t have trouble remembering to feed herself let alone another creature.

Bags were piled into the trunk of the cab, hugs were exchanged, goodbyes said. Mike insisted they send him a whole bunch of postcards and Stan gave them a list of birds to keep an eye out for.

“Take care of Rich for me,” said Beverly as she hugged Eddie tightly.

“I’ll try my best,” he replied. “But I can’t promise not to kill him myself if he refers to my mom one more time in bed.”

Bev laughed then kissed his cheek before going to hug Richie, and Ben moved to hug Eddie in her place.

“Don’t let him go,” he whispered as he pulled Eddie in. “He loves you so much, man.”

“You are such a fucking romantic loser,” said Eddie.

“I know,” said Ben. He smiled as he pulled away and opened the cab door for Bev.

“It’s been fun,” said Bev, grinning at them all as she hovered in the cab doorway. “I love you guys.”

“Love you too,” said Bill. “Have a ss-safe flight.”

“See you all at the next wedding if not sooner,” said Ben, winking at Eddie who scowled back at him.

“We won’t have long to wait,” Stan said, smirking at Eddie’s glare.

“See you soon, then, Losers,” said Bev, and with that, they were off, and the remaining Losers waved until the yellow cab faded into the distance.

The others headed back into the hotel to warm up and pack for their own flights home, but Eddie and Richie stayed outside for a little while longer watching the still steadily falling snow cover the tire tracks on the road.

“So,” said Richie after a moment. “You going home today, or…?”

“That was the plan,” said Eddie. 

He hadn’t been looking forward to going back to his cold lonely flat, sparse and empty after Myra had gotten the house in the divorce. He’d never liked it there - it was always a temporary thing until he figured out what he wanted to do - and he despised the loud upstairs neighbours and the landlord who looked like he never washed his hands. He remembered Richie’s house, alive with his merry friends as they got up to drunken shenanigans, full of good memories. It was a nice place after Eddie had thoroughly cleaned it, but, he thought, far too big for just Richie.

“Coz,” said Richie who was fidgeting with the zipper of his coat agitatedly and quite obviously avoiding eye contact, “if you wanted, I could get an extra ticket to LA… I mean- Unless you-” he added quickly, fumbling over his words now. “Unless that’s too fast. Yeah, fuck, that’s way too fast. Forget I said anything.”

“No,” said Eddie. He reached out and took Richie’s hand, his fingers like ice in the January air, and Richie finally looked at him, eyes wide and lips ever so slightly parted. “No, I’d like that. We’re catching up, right? Let’s fucking commit.”

Richie’s mouth split into a grin. “Hell yeah, spaghetti!”

“I’d have to actually go get my stuff at some point, though,” Eddie added.

“Well, yeah. And we should redecorate,” said Richie. “Make it a proper reddie home.”

“‘Reddie’?”

“Richie and Eddie, keep up,” said Richie. “It’s what the kids call a ‘ship name’.”

“Thanks, I hate it,” said Eddie. “Redecorate how?”

“Oh, you know, making it more artsy,” said Richie casually, though that shit-eating grin was still on his face. “Add a few black lights, and if we get a move on, we could have our own Jackson Pollock-themed digs.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” said Eddie immediately, turning and walking back towards the hotel. “I’m going to live with Mike or something. Bye.”

“No, wait!” Richie cried, grabbing Eddie’s hand before he could move any further and falling to his knees at Eddie’s feet. “Oh, Eddie spaghetti, love of my life! Angel from the heavens! Please oh please move in with me, Eddie my love.”

“I hate that song,” Eddie grumbled, trying and failing to hide his smile at Richie’s theatrics. “Get the fuck up, dumbass, your pants are getting soaked.”

“Not until you say yes.”

Eddie heaved a great sigh even though there wasn’t really any question about it. Of course he wanted to move in with Richie. He wanted to wake up next to him every morning and receive those lazy kisses. He wanted them to cook together and sing along loudly to the cheesy eighties rock they both secretly loved, slipping on the kitchen tiles as they danced around in their socks. He wanted to fall asleep next to him on the couch in the evenings, wanted to adopt a dog with him, maybe adopt other things too. He wanted every sickeningly domestic thing he’d been dreaming about since he was twelve.

“Fine,” he said. He tried to sound exasperated but was unable to hide the smile fighting its way onto his face. “Yes, I’ll move in with you, Trashmouth.”

Richie leapt to his feet and grinned before sweeping Eddie off his feet and kissing him like some sort of Disney princess.

“Don’t you dare fucking drop me, asshole!” Eddie shrieked, clinging to Richie until he pulled him back upright.

“Couldn’t resist,” Richie shrugged, still grinning. “Now, our flight’s not until this evening, can we at least turn our hotel room into a Jackson Pollock painting before we go?”

“You are fucking disgusting,” said Eddie.

“But you love me.”

“Yeah,” said Eddie softly, lacing his fingers through Richie’s as they made their way back to the hotel. “Yeah, I do.”

*

Previous

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

The Nuptial Necessity - Chapter 9

A 12xRose Human AU

Despite an unglamorous job description, Rose loves the work she does with The Thistle Foundation, a charity founded by her best friend’s great-uncle.  It doesn’t hurt that her boss, her friend’s father, is easy on the eyes.  With a great job, wonderful friends and a loving family, life couldn’t be better – except for having someone to share it with.

All of that is threatened, though, when the great-uncle dies – and sets a strange condition for his nephew to inherit, jeopardizing the Foundation and Rose’s future, sparking a chain of events that might just get her everything she dreamed of and more.

Chapters will be posted on Saturdays and Tuesdays.  Many thanks to my beta, @stupidsatsuma

Rated: Explicit, for eventual smut

@doctorroseprompts

AO3  |  Masterlist

—

Monday

Rose accepted the takeaway containers with a bright smile and handful of bills, skirting around the security desk for the lift, letting out a breath when she made it inside without getting stopped by Mickey.  She knew he knew her ‘news’, had barely managed to escape him and his questions that morning, and was relieved to be able to put off the inevitable conversation a little while longer.

Letting herself back into their office suite, she stopped at her desk long enough to grab her tablet and mobile before letting herself into Malcolm’s office.

“Food’s here.”

Malcolm shot up, immediately abandoning his computer in favor of taking the food from her.  “Why didn’t you say something?  I’d have gone down to fetch it,” he fussed, setting the pizza box on his coffee table and grabbing water bottles from his mini-fridge.  “Sit, sit.”

“I was fine,” Rose rolled her eyes, stepping out of her heels before sinking down on the couch and separating two paper plates.  “Honestly, don’t- don’t do that.”

“Do what?”  He settled next to her, opening the box and plating them a slice each.  “What did I do?”

Biting her lip, she accepted the plate, holding it in the air with one hand as the other spread several napkins over the lap of her designer skirt.  “Don’t…”  She didn’t know how to say it.  “Don’t act like anything’s changed,” she finally decided on.  “Don’t go all formal and deferential on me, or any shit like that.  This doesn’t change anything.”

Making a face, Malcolm sighed.  “Fine, if you say so,” he twisted the lid off his bottle.  “How’s your morning been so far?”

Really?  Small talk?  “Productive.  Got lots of information about… everything.  And before you ask, everything is good with the Gala, right on schedule.”

“What did you find?”  He took a large bite of pizza, a stray string of cheese catching on his chin, and for a moment she fantasized about leaning forward and cleaning it with her tongue.  Down, girl.

“You have to give notice at your local register’s office at least 14 days prior to the ceremony.  Since we’re in different parts of the city we have to give notice separately; I booked us appointments for first thing tomorrow morning, so we can take care of it on our way in.  Before you can, though, we need a date and a location for the… the ceremony.”  She nibbled on the point of the slice.  “We need to document the location, as well as our individual addresses.  You need your passport and birth certificate.  Proof of your divorce.”

Malcolm snorted.  “So, fairly simple then.”

Laughing, she stretched out her leg to prod his thigh with her toe.  “It is, actually, once we settle on… specifics.”

“Well, I’ve made some tentative arrangements,” he said, opening up his own organizer.  “Though I’d like to hear what you’ve been thinking first.”

That I want this to be real, that I want you to love me as I do you, that I want to spend my life with you.  “I’m not particularly fussy on details,” she shrugged one shoulder, watching her fingers pick at the crust of her slice.  “Given everything, I think we should go simple, easy, and practical.”

“You may approve of my plan then,” he smiled wryly.  “I was thinking the back garden at the Townhouse.  My chef does catering on the side, the flower vendor for the Gala can pull something together as a favor, one of Clara’s coworkers DJs on the weekend…  Ceremony in the garden, reception in the ballroom, and if you want, honeymoon up at the Estate in Scotland – they’ll be expecting us to honeymoon if they don’t know the truth, and that way you can see the property and meet the staff, and I can check in – haven’t been up there in years.”

Honeymoon.  Rose’s smile froze, two separate trains of thought racing through her mind.  The first was Jackie would inevitably want details on the getaway – intimate details.  I’ll either have to lie about shagging him, or tell the truth that we’re not – neither of those is particularly appealing.

The second track involved them, a private beach, open bar, and unending pleasure under a hot sun.  Mhmm.

“Rose?”

“Yeah?” she snapped back to attention, hoping he couldn’t see the warmth in her cheeks as she willed herself not to flick her eyes over his lap.  Never gonna happen, Rose Tyler, you need to accept that.  “Um, that sounds good.  I’ve never been to Scotland.”

“Okay, then.”  He took another large bite, watching her thoughtfully as he chewed.  “All right?”

Rose nodded, finally digging into her own slice with relish.  “Just thinking of everything there is to do.”

“We’ll get it done,” he said confidently.  “We make a good team.”

“We do.”

But we could be so much more.

-

“Thistle Foundation, this is Rose.”

“Well, aren’t you going to ask me?” Clara snapped down the line, and Rose stopped typing with a frown.

“What?”

Her friend sighed heavily.  “Am I, or am I not, your best friend?”

“You are.”

“And are you, or are you not, getting married?”

“I am.”  Despite the circumstances, a happy little thrill went through Rose at the thought.  He’ll have to kiss me, during the ceremony, she realized smugly.  Maybe it’ll open his eyes, and he’ll see what’s literally been in front of him all along.

“Well?!”

Rose rolled her eyes.  “I have no idea what you’re looking for, and am very busy- what’s up?”

This time, Clara was quiet, almost… hurt?  “You don’t have anything to ask me?”

Brow furrowing, Rose wracked her brain for anything outstanding, but came up empty.  “No?”

“Oh.”  Was that a sniffle?  “Okay.”

“Clara-”

“I’ve got to go,” her friend cut her off, a definitely wavery tone to her voice.  “Bye.”

And the line disconnected.

Pressing her lips firmly together to hide a smile, Rose went back to working on the Gala program, keeping one eye on the clock.

Ten minutes later the phone rang again, and she was already grinning as she answered.  “Thistle-”

“Yes!” Clara screamed.  “Yes, yes, yes!”

“Are you sure?  You don’t seem particularly enthused at the idea,” Rose teased, leaning back in her chair.  “I could always ask-”

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

She had to laugh at that, could almost hear down the line her friend vibrating with excitement.  “So, just to be clear, you will be my maid of honor?”  Glancing up, she caught Malcolm’s eye as he happened past, frowning when he stopped dead with an unsettling expression of horror.

“Of course!” Clara said, “How could I not be?  Right, I’ll meet you at yours at half-six so we can start planning.  I’ll bring the food. I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you then! I’m so excited!”  And with another squeal, not waiting for a response, the line once again went dead.

“Something wrong?” Rose asked, keeping a wary eye on Malcolm as she hung up the receiver.  “Changed your mind?”

He slowly shook his head.  “No, it’s not that, I just- Well.”  He shifted, looking uncomfortable.  “I suppose I’d always imagined that were I to remarry, well, that Clara would stand up for me.  Be my best man, in a manner of speaking.”

“Oh.”  Once he said it it seemed obvious; of course he’d want his daughter at his side.  She’d been friends with Clara for just over a decade; he’d had her Clara’s entire life.  “Right.  I mean- Duh.  Um, I can talk to her tonight, if you want- unask her, so you can.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” he waved his hand in a would-be casual way, still frowning.  “I’ll… find someone else.”

“I have other friends I can ask,” Rose pressed, “it’s fine.  Really.”

Malcolm shook his head.  “She’s your best friend,” he maintained, “and it’s only natural.  Don’t worry about it.”

And he walked away, leaving Rose with worry gnawing at her gut.

How are we supposed to make this work?

-

Malcolm sank into his desk chair, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.

I don’t know what to do.

It hadn’t even occurred to him, to ask Clara to stand up for him- they’d been thick as thieves most of her life, especially after the divorce and move.  Two peas in a pod, Wallace used to laugh, and it had been fitting.  Even as she’d grown up and moved out their relationship had remained mostly the same; while they were father and daughter first, she was also his best friend.

But she was also Rose’s, and of course she would stand up for her; it was obvious in hindsight.

His mobile buzzed, and he checked the screen to see an incoming call from Pete Tyler.  Shit.  “Tucker.”

“Hey, Malc, how’s it going?”

“Good, good,” he answered vaguely, sitting up straight.  “How can I help you?”

“Listen-”  oh, fuck, that’s not good.  “Let’s have dinner, tonight- preferably at yours.  I want to talk to you about this wedding.”  Shiiit.  “How’s seven?”

Malcolm swallowed, clicking the icon on his screen that would pull up his calendar.  “Sure.  Uh, will Jackie be joining us?”

“No, you and me.  Man to man, father to father… that sort of thing.”

“Uh huh.”  He sighed.  “Sure, seven’s fine.  I’ll… grill some steaks, we can talk.”

“See you then.”

The call disconnected, and he dropped the mobile to the desktop with a groan, cradling his head in his hands.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

When Wallace had passed, Malcolm had been at peace with it – the old man had lived a full life, full of charity and happiness, and it meant an end to his suffering.  Now, though, seeing what his uncle had left behind for him…

Is it even fucking worth it?

-

By the time three o’clock came, Rose was more than ready for the day to be over.  For the hopeful way she’d started the day, it had certainly ended on a sour note.

Getting married is supposed to be a happy thing – and even though we’re not actually a couple, it’s still not terrible.  I could do a lot worse. And, honestly, it’s not like either of us have found our soulmates – even if it’s not love, it can still be companionship.  But… it also feels like this is more fragile than I first considered.

“Hey.”

Rose looked up only to find Malcolm looking as bad as she felt.  “Hi.”

“That’s me off,” he gestured towards the lift with his thumb.  “You might as well head out too.  Get a fresh start tomorrow.”

“Okay.”  She didn’t hesitate to log off her computer, pushing back from the desk.  “Don’t forget to go to the Register’s Office tomorrow – I’ve already given Graham the details, but you’ll need to pull your documents together.  I emailed you a list of exactly what you’ll need.”

“Thanks,” he smiled wanly.  “Now, get your shit – I’ll walk you out.”

It was only a matter of seconds to be ready to go, and she was startled but pleased when Malcolm helped her into her coat.

“Thanks.”

He didn’t acknowledge it, just gently pulled her hair out from her collar.  “Let’s go.”

Settling her purse in the crook of her elbow she walked with him, letting him play the gentlemen.  This is nice, she thought wistfully.  If only it were real.

“I was thinking,” he said casually, “that after the- well, after, we might as well keep the same hours.  I know you seem to prefer to be in before me, but- Obviously it wouldn’t make any sense for Graham to bring you in and then come back for me.  If nothing else, I hope this makes your life a little easier – not having to deal with the Tube, and all.”

Her lips twitched in amusement.  Is that the best you think you have to offer?

“Plus,” he coughed, as the doors opened and he let her out, “I… I don’t know about you, but it might be nice to have someone around.  At the house, I mean.  To not… be alone.”

She paused as they stepped out onto the pavement, waving hello to Graham before focusing on Malcolm, studying his expression.  Is he blushing?  “That would be nice,” she agreed softly.  “I do like living alone, mostly, but… it also gets lonely.”

“We can be lonely together,” he offered, quirking his lip, and she grinned.

“Works for me.”

[professorsparklepants]

Girlvek secret marriage au

(AKA: Falling in love with Gil Hotzfaller was the worst mistake Tarveka ever made).

So, here’s what I got:

Tarveka “Veka” Sturmvoraus, the eight year old second daughter of the Prince of Sturmhalten, begs, pleads, and weeps crocodile tears until her father sends her to Castle Wulfenbach to be educated with the future rulers of Europa. There she meets orphan-without-a-past Gil Hotzfaller, who quickly becomes her best friend, and when they break into the records vault looking for his family records, instead of staying behind to dig deeper, she runs after Gil to try and comfort him. Neither of them get caught. 

Several years pass. Both of them break through remarkably early, likely around the same time, and they’re told by the Baron to keep Gil’s spark quiet (sensibly, Veka thinks, since a breakthrough this young in a boy without any family will draw the attention of a great deal of people eager to piss off the baron). Other than the Baron and Von Pinn, she’s the only person who knows about it, since she just happened to be in the fight place at the right time, which was next to Gil, where she always is. 

(I haven’t decided when exactly Gil found out about his real parentage, but it’s somewhere around his breakthrough. Gil gets scared into keeping quiet, but his friendship with Veka never suffers because he knew she was his friend even before he was someone important). 

Somewhere around 13 or 14 she and Gil start quietly dating. It’s an open secret among the kids at the school, who’ve known they were going to and up together for YEARS, but since Gil is a nobody and Veka is 50 families they know to keep quiet and save the two of them grief. Everything seems to be going great until their first big fight as a couple, because it’s a BAD one. Veka wants to look into Gil’s family more, because she remembers how miserable he was after the vault and knows something else is going on. Gil reacts badly and accuses her of not caring about anyone unless they’re useful to her. Veka snaps back that Gil has been anything but useful to her. Gil says he’s been useful enough keeping all of her secrets. Things deteriorate further from there; they both run off in a huff.

Gil mentions the fight (if not the context) to his father, because Veka looking into his past is something he knows the Baron doesn’t want. Klaus then proceeds to over-react and expel Veka from the school.... without telling Gil. Veka is under the impression that Gil went to the Baron and sold her out. Gil is under the impression that Veka threw a fit and decided to break up with him in the most definitive way possible. She refuses to look at him or say goodbye when she leaves.

Several bitter, miserable years pass. 

After living with her father’s terrifying and ethically unsettling agenda for god knows how long, Tarveka finally able to escape and attend university in Paris. She’s not free, because the Mongfishes rubbed their dirty fingerprints all over the Order and there’s no way to escape their agenda, but she’s as good as she can get. Maybe while she’s gone she can formulate a plan to scrub the order down. 

Mostly she ends up finding dead bodies at society parties, but that’s practically normal in her family. Developing a hobby of amateur detective work is not, but it’s significantly more fun, and she gets a good friendship with Colette Voltaire out of it, so everybody wins. She’s almost starting to enjoy herself when she runs into Gil again.

Their first meeting is not pleasant. Neither is the second. Or the third, or the fourth.... For two people who hate each other, Colette is fond of pointing out (to the both of them) they tend to meet a lot. Tarveka is fairly certain it’s because the universe hates her. It’s the only explanation. 

After several vaguely humorous events where Gil ends up crashing one of Tarveka’s cases, or Veka ends up caught in Gil’s adventures, or their two seemingly unrelated genres of after-school activities turn out to have been entangled from the beginning, the two of them settle into a vitriolic partnership founded on mutual survival and Not Talking About It, With Anyone, Not Even If You Paid Me Colette. The turning point is when they get into a REALLY BAD fight where they drag up all the stuff that happened on the castle and find out that both of them have different stories and someone must be wrong here, and maybe it’s both of us.

I’m not sure on the specifics of how their relationship progresses from there but I’m sure it involves a lot of attempted murder and rampaging monsters and slow burn, and the two of them in various stages of undress due to action scene clothing damage and pulpy fan-service tropes. At one point Colette suggests that Gil knock Veka up so she can retire from politics in disgrace to become Paris’ greatest dressmaker and everyone chokes on their drinks in horror (Wooster) and embarrassment (Gil and Veka). Maybe there’s fake dating. Eventually they start REAL dating again, and Veka makes a lot of jokes about Gil being her kept man, and everything is (mostly) great.

This is where the secret marriage plot comes in.

Martellus comes to town for a few weeks and pays more attention to Tarveka than normal. Like, a weird amount of attention. He danced with her four times at the last ball they both went to, and even spending time “keeping Grandma company” hadn’t deterred him. She’d been forced to resort to throwing eligible young ladies with power hungry mothers at him to keep him away from her. 

Meanwhile, Anevka’s letters start mentioning lab accidents at Sturmhalten--specifically, her lab. They never have lab accidents at home. The idea is ludicrous, which means someone is trying to kill Anevka and not even bothering to be subtle about it. Which in their family is a long list. 

She doesn’t think to connect the two until she has a dream one night where she’s the sovereign Princess of Sturmhalten, happy and glowing, congratulated by her many powerful and influential guests who all adore her. Someone asks if she’s looking forward to the coronation, and she replies Only as much as my husband is! And an arm wraps around her waist and she leans into it as Tweedle kisses her cheek and calls her wife and she wakes up in a cold sweat. 

She and Anevka are the only thing standing between Tweedle and incontestable rule of Europa. If either of them have sons, their claim will be better than Tweedle’s, unless they’re his sons. Anevka is dangerous and stubborn and would castrate him with a socket wrench if she knew he was even considering it, but everyone thought Veka was a pushover who did whatever her father told her because that was the price of surviving. Grandma hadn’t stopped Tweedle from dancing with her even though Veka knew she was the favorite grandchild, which meant either she was in on it or she was expecting Veka to solve her own problems, and if Grandma wasn’t openly supporting her then she had little chance of talking her father around, and she would have to marry Tweedle, and have his children, and let him touch her--

TWEEDLE CAN’T MARRY HER IF SHE’S ALREADY MARRIED TO SOMEBODY ELSE. 

This is more of a ”panic at 3 am” plan than a Tarveka plan but when she wakes up (again) the next morning it seems like a good idea, because she’s actually still panicking. Gil spits out his coffee when she brings it up and then Colette spits out her tea when they ask her to be the witness. 

In the future when asked, Gil’s defense for going through with this is 20% “I thought it was just technical and she would ask for an annulment later” and 80% “I didn’t actually believe it was really happening until we literally signing the marriage contract”. Tarveka’s is, besides the aforementioned panicking, “AT THE TIME Gil was the only person I trusted not to take advantage of me”. Colette, when asked, claims that a. they were clearly hopelessly in love, b. she knew that Tarveka was miserable at home and would be even more so if she ever broke up with Gil to get a political marriage, and c. the fallout was going to be HILARIOUS. (None of which are WRONG, per-say).

There’s a short honeymoon period until Gil realizes that like.... if they’re.... actually doing this.... he should probably like.... actually tell Veka who he is. So they have a serious talk about the trajectory of their relationship and how neither of them actually wants a divorce and at one point probably like, mush, and then he tells her. And she is SUPER PISSED. Especially since lying about your identity makes it a voidable marriage.

To quote Doc, who gave me permission to steal this piece of gold:

"Hey, I'm still the same Gil you know and love, right?" "Sentimentally, YES! Legally, NO!"

Like, this puts her in an amazing political position over the order and tbh most of Europa but she’s still SUPER PISSED because she married Gil specifically because she loves him and thought she could trust him and the fact that he was lying to her about this! For years! Even when they were kids! Fucks her up a little. 

Right in the middle of this emotional shit show is when Tarveka finds out her sister is dying. She makes up with Gil, a little, when she’s leaving (and she has to leave, because even if Anevka was a menace and made her skin crawl she’s still her sister), and promises they’ll talk more if when she comes back. 

THEN she finds out their father put Anevka into the summoning machine, and more panicking happens. Because her father put his DAUGHTER and HEIR into the summoning machine to get possessed by his EX-GIRLFRIEND and after he got over his hypocritical grief there was no proof he wouldn’t try it again with the spare.

I imagine that the extra years spent on Castle Wulfenbach gave Veka time and space to come to the same conclusions Tarvek gets to in canon when he finally has time away from his family--that no one deserves the sort of thing Lucrezia wanted to do to them. The difference here being that she got thrown back into it as a young teenage girl with the implication that as long as she was good, she’d be safe. This is proof that was a lie, and that she’s never been safe here at all, and maybe only survived through luck. 

Clearly now the only way to make sure she survives long enough to heal Anevka is to cut her father and the Other out of the equation altogether. So... she contacts the Baron about the veritable army living underneath her town, armed with dozens of hive engines. As you do. 

I think you guys can imagine how exactly that goes. 

After everyone that needs killing’s been killed and everything that needs handling is being handled, the Baron tracks her down and demands to know why he shouldn’t just kill her immediately for treason and harboring Agents of the Other.

To which her response is “Because I’m your daughter-in-law.”

And that’s where things start getting interesting.

[briteboy]

stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried

so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)

game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok

we’re starting off on a great note

Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now

Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)

then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone

IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW

DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS

hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao

oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection

i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!

ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333

Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!

see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it! but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery

Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......

OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question

rooney's eye are so BIG

just like her tiddies lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes

Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?

WHO i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and

tru

I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh

SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3

ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me

im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.

OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well

thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful

thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘

do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?

euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google

You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg

lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on

I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine

Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls

YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’

@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)

yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously. 

I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!

YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine

Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.

OMG LMAO NO what i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it

I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️

lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him

yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"

WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET SAME that’s all i care about when i play

that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it

i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child

sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?

boop

hi i love you ♡ pass it on

I LOVE U

Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares

SAME my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop

Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.

maybe he should 🤔  but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay

i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him

thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.

My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did

🤔 you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin

i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.

omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33

Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN

WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok

Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.

WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao

You love to make me cry

i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear

I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂

I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”

whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))

OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother

Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha

well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!

I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi

SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho

Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist

I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)

ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!

Lou is an angel honestly

“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”

what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.

omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3

Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/

I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me

Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x

no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.

is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends

it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that

I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE

EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)

waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see

u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night

Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.

YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3

One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.

OMG LMAOOOOO NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT who’s making these i want one

your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME

Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x

ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3

Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?

i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.

there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE

OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}

I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...

OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao

Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.

LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same

u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh

oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔

Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)

LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP

let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever

omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP

in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl

i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.

OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.

ur dead 2 me

I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!

[deeperthanloveff]

Chapter 38

Chris

“Mmm damn baby” I said stroking Kae once more before pulling out of her gently and kissing her lips.

She rolled over on top of me and I knew she wanted more but I needed a minute “woah, give me a few minutes you got way to much energy tonight.” I said squeezing her small waist.

She giggled “you got five minutes.”

I chuckled and pushed her hair from her face “yo what is good with you? You’re never this horny.”

She straddled my waist and the sheet dropped from her body revealing perky breast and a small pudge signaling my growing baby “well when you mix pregnant and engagement I think it might be a horny trigger.”

I laughed “so you saying I should’ve married you years ago huh?”

“Maybe you should’ve, but this ring makes up for your lateness” she said staring at her hand.

She was truly happy and so was I. Kae was going to be the final chapter in my life. We had a baby on the way it just made sense. I could never put Robin through a round two of this either. Shit I didn’t want to go through a round two of this myself. I should’ve cut the shit two and half kids ago. But, I’m done telling tales I’m going to do right by my lady trust.

“So how do you feel about getting married pregnant?” I asked laughing when she gave me a crazy look.

“Absolutely not! I’m going to spend my pregnancy planning so that a year from today. The day you proposed will be our wedding day, and by then I’ll get this body in order for my dress and our honeymoon” she said glowing as she gushed about our future together.

I could literally feel the happiness and excitement radiating from her. All this girl ever wanted was to be mine I don’t know exactly how I missed it before, but I guess back then I was young and dumb. Then I met Robin and I thought she was gonna be it for me. All this time maybe I should’ve just did right by Kae.

“I love you, you know that?” I asked cutting her off from her wedding plans.

She giggled and bent down to kiss my lips ever so gently “mmm I love you too baby so much” she said as she began planting fiery seductive kiss after fiery seductive kiss on my lips.

With in no time CJ was back standing ready to play and she was more than willing to play with him as she slid down my shaft. I watched her please herself and me and thought to myself if I had to deal with this for the rest of my life then I was gonna be A ok. I had to let Robin be great and stop holding her back.

This was it no go backs.

_____ *Two Days Later*

I pulled up to Robin’s store to drop the kids off. She asked that I just come here rather than to the house and I obliged. We haven’t really been speaking much and I get it. Her sister said she told her about the proposal and she’s just been really to herself. I’m also sure she saw The Shaderoom & Balleralert post Kae’s instagram pictures from our proposal and romantic weekend so I’m just going with the flow. I don’t believe I could ever hurt Robin more than I’ve hurt her throughout the years, but she likes to act like she’s good so I never really know.

“Y'all ready to see mommy?” I asked Kyia & Christian and they nodded.

“Aight Chris unhook your sister and slide over so you can get out” I said killing engine and unbuckling my seat belt so I can get out.

I ran around the car and opened the door of course with the paps swarming the car “aight y'all can get pics just back up because I got my kids” I said to them before picking up my daughter.

Little Chris climbed out the car and closed in the door grabbing my hand “daddy will people take pictures of me to when I’m your age?”

I chuckled as we walked toward her store “sure if that’s what you want they sure will. Just be better than daddy ok.”

He smiled and looked up at me “yay ok!”

When we walked in the store Mercedeh was behind the counter on her phone “hey Merc where’s Mel?”

She looked up “hey guys, she’s um in her office, just wait until she comes out.”

I raised my eyebrow at her “why? I brought the kids.”

I ignored her and made my way towards Robin’s office with Mercedeh yelling “Chris wait!”

I pushed her door open to see her sitting on some dudes lap them sucking face “mommy!” Little Chris sang running in behind me.

Normally I would flip. This time I ain’t even have it in me. I was just wondering why she’d have some nigga here when her kids were coming, but Robin did this once so I’m sure they knew him already. Judging from the way Mercedeh was acting I’m sure I was the last to find out about son.

“Hey baby” she said smiling at him getting up, her eyes on me the entire time.

“Imma give Kyia to your sister. She’s falling asleep. Call me or text me if they need something” I said turning and leaving out.

She of course ran behind me “Chris wait, don’t just leave like that!”

“I gotta go Robin, Kae is waiting for me to take her crib shopping. Wassup?” I turned asking her normally.

She looked confused as hell “Luke is just a friend.”

I chuckled “damn you kiss your friends like that? It’s cool Rob you don’t gotta explain do you.”

“Chris don’t make me feel bad about this” she said looking down at her five inch red bottom heels.

I shrugged “you don’t gotta feel bad we ain’t together. Do you.

She sighed and looked at me “you picked her over me. You don’t get to have the I don’t care attitude.”

I chuckled “Robin stop, I do care about you I do so cut your pity party. You got Luke, just watch him around my kids. Good day ma'am.” I said handing a now sleeping Kyia over to Mercedeh gently so she wouldn’t start to cry if she knew I was leaving. I kissed her small head and headed along my way.

“Bye daddy” I heard Christian say.“

"See you later lil me” I said walking out to my car.

I got in my car and headed home to get my fiancé we still had a baby to prepare for. I was not about to stress about Robin acting out.

Robin

I looked at Mercedeh and she gave me that I told you so look. I scoffed and walked back into my office to see a waiting patiently Luke. Luke James, fine ass Luke James. We’d been seeing each other for a month now. I met him a few months ago and he asked for my number, but I was so into Chris I’d never go out with him.

When Chris told me Kae was pregnant again we got close. He’s really sweet and patient with me. I explained to him that I was trying hard to get over my ex husband, and he said he was going to be the man that made me forget. Every time I was with him I did forget and it felt good real good for what it was, a distraction.

“You in trouble?” He asked smiling at me.

“No he was so calm I was taken back” I said truly confused.

“Is that not the reaction you wanted?” He asked me.

“I don’t know, I just know he’s such a hot head. I’m just more shocked than anything, but did you still want us to get lunch?” I asked switching the subject.

“You know you gotta tell me what he’s done to get you so hooked. If you don’t open up to me we can’t grow together Robin” he said getting up to meet me in the middle of the room.

“I don’t know it’s been 7 years you know. I’ve loved him since the beginning. He was there for me and wanted me when no one else did. He helped me through my past and things just got sour. He made a mistake and I couldn’t handle it so I ran. I guess when I realized I shouldn’t of ran him and his ex made a family and it crushed me. It still does watching him love her the way he did me, but I gotta understand what we had we don’t. I went bat shit crazy so he could come back” I paused laughing.

“I got to let go. Let go and-”

“Let a man get a chance, can we try that?” Luke asked brushing my curls out my head.

He gently caressed my cheek and I grabbed his hand “I’m scared Luke. I don’t want to waste your time”.

He chuckled “I’m not going anywhere. You’re not going to drive me away like you said you did Odell.”

I smiled at him but I kept feeling like he’d grow tired of me never loving him fast enough the way he loved me if we grew to that. Then there’s, Odell I always feel like maybe I should’ve just let him in. O wanted to marry me and us to have kids, I don’t know why I let things get so out of hand. I was willing to try with Luke though, because who knows maybe this was my future. It’s just that everyday that has passed since Chris proposed to Kae I keep looking at my old wedding rings wishing I never took them off. He did everything to put a stop to our divorce but I hated him. He’s loved me for so long I should’ve just let him love me like the fuck he asked.

“Why are you so perfect?” I asked him.

He chuckled “I’m not, I’m just good people.”

He placed his hand on the small of my back and bent down to meet my 5'3” frame. He gently kissed my lips and I immediately returned the favor. His lips were soft like cotton and I could feast on them all day. His kisses set a fire in my draws that needed to be put out, but it was to early for all of that. Just as I pulled back from our kiss my phone went off.

“You gonna get that?” He asked.

“Do I have to?” I asked making him laugh.

“I think you should then we can grab a bite. Sound good?”

I shook my head yes and answered my phone that was in my hand the entire time without looking “This is Robin.”

“So I’m in LA, can we talk?” His voice boomed through the line.

The sound of his voice made me instantly smile but I was confused about why he’d want to talk “me? I mean yeah, but why now?”

“Robin, I just think we need to hash some stuff out. You owe me that” he said and I agreed.

“Yeah O, just text me the details we can talk” I said.

“Alright, later” he said hanging up the phone.

I looked at Luke and I opened my mouth to tell him what happened but he stopped me “relax you don’t have to tell me everything. Let’s go though I know you’re hungry.”

I grabbed my Chanel purse and smiled picking it up because I remembered when Chris bought it for me on our second wedding anniversary. I’d thought he forgot about it because he was acting so busy, but of course he was being slick because I woke up to it on the pillow next to me along with clues to finding my other gifts. He was always so thoughtful, my smile made him feel like everything would be alright. I guess it’s true what they say you never miss your water until your well runs dry.

“Robin you alright?” Luke asked getting my attention.

“Um, yeah but would I be the worst if I asked for a rain check? I suddenly just want to get some pizza and watch Scooby Doo with my babies” I said truthfully.

“Yeah, I figured once they got here you’d just want to be with them anyways. I’ll FaceTime you tonight. I’m gonna just go to the gym” he said kissing my forehead before leaving.

I sighed and sat down at my desk holding my head in my hands. There was no way out of this one. A part of me felt like Chris refrained from picking me because he thought he’d be putting me through what he did before. I don’t think me telling him I was ready to sign up for whatever came our way was enough for him. I’m not who I was before. I don’t scare so easily anymore. All I wanted was his word and his love, but it’s time for me to move on.

“Hey, Ky was whining for Chris so I think you’ll be able to sooth her cries until Chris calls later to sing to her” Mercedeh said bringing in my big baby rubbing her eyes.

I reached out for her and immediately clung to me once she saw my face “awe moms baby. Want us to get pizza and go home with big brother?” I asked her and she nodded.

“Ok daddy is going to call you later, don’t cry baby” I said rubbing her back.

“Hey can you close up for me tonight? I’ll call Ashley to come help. I just want to get home, is that ok or you’d rather I stay?” I asked looking at her as she typed away on her on her phone.

“Ashley just walked in the door so you’re good. I put the kids bags in your car a few minutes ago, so you can go. Robin just don’t use being home all the time as your excuse to mope over Chris. Call Odell he loves you and let him” she said pushing her hair out her face.

“You always were team Odell” I said laughing as I held Ky against my chest.

“Yeah you were too, I don’t know what happened but he came by here yesterday looking for you. He said he’s not over you, so you better let the nigga that wants to put a ring on your finger put it” she said making me smile.

“Well girl he called me today, he said he wants to talk and I agreed. He texted for me to meet him at NOBU tomorrow night. So we’ll see, but what about Luke?” I asked.

She smacked her teeth “girl please forget him for now. You can drop the kids at my house and get them in the morning. August loves them and get your man. Chris made his choice now you need to make yours.”

I nodded and said nothing. She was right, but it didn’t change the fact that I wanted a different out come. I guess I was just going to stop fighting the inevitable and trying to change shit I couldn’t.

“I’ll let it go, just bare with me. It’s not that easy but I’m trying. It would be so much easier if I didn’t have to see his ass every week, but I’m trying” I said standing up with Ky grabbing my stuff so we could leave.

“You’ll be ok Robin, you were ok before and you’ll be ok now” Mercedeh said pulling in my office door as we left.

“I know girl, hey Ash” I said quickly changing the subject.

“Hey girl, gimme my baby” she said rushing over and grabbing Kyia.

Those kids loved their Auntie Ash “hey how’s my bun in the oven?” I asked rubbing her belly.

“Girl I’m over being pregnant, I got three more months of this hot shit. But what’s up with you? How you been doing?” She asked placing Ky on her feet and holding her hand cause I’m guessing she was hurting her back.

“I’m good for the most part. Meeting Odell tomorrow, so we gotta see how that goes” I said sighing.

“Mmmm well you know I’m team his sexy ass, but what about chocolate Luke?” She said making me laugh.

“You laughing girl but these niggas want your Latin/Surinamese ass you crying over Chris” she said smiling.

I giggled “whatever. Christian baby say bye and let’s go. Mommy is tired chile.”

Chris looked up from playing on Cedeh’s phone and did exactly what I said before grabbing his sister’s hand “come on mommy.”

“I’ll be ok y'all stop worrying about me. I’m going to have my happy ending to y'all. I just gotta feed my babies before I do” I said making the girls laugh.

I had to keep everything around me on the up and up. It was the only way I’d be ok. It also helped that I had numerous kinds of male attention. Chris would always be my heart, but I guess I just had to let go.

[sayitaintdoe]

yikes.

safely, you can cross petsitter off the list of potential career paths for me to take.  because here i am, lying on teddy’s bedroom floor, one of those obnoxious little cat toys in hand, jingling it in her cat, thackery’s direction in the hopes that he’ll take the bait.

she told me petsitting was low maintenance, that all i had to do was come in and make sure thackery and his brother, berlioz, were being fed and had fresh water.  but, you see, that’s the problem.  the food was going untouched, and thackery wouldn’t get out from under the bed, and berlioz?  gone.

like, gone girl gone.

okay.  not gone girl gone, but you get what i’m saying.  MISSING.  NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.  the loft teddy has been living in since she was twenty-one is short a cat.  and i can’t tell her that, because she’s on her honeymoon.  she’s living it up in tokyo and thailand and dubai right now, and the last thing she needs to hear is, “so, between you and me — you always hated berlioz, right?”

oh.  and her goldfish died.

forgot about that.

“thackery, i will pay you cold hard catnip to get out from under the bed.”

i just need him out from under the bed to, like, confirm he can get out from under the bed.  he isn’t blinking.  he’s just staring at me.  and i get that maybe he just doesn’t like me, and he’s staring me down, and this is his way of saying, “no, you leave,” but i’m not going to let a cat tell me how to live my life.  there is too much at stake here.

but for right now, my phone is buzzing in my pocket, and i pull away, sitting up on my knees to check it.  “this isn’t over,” i warn him.  a glare is my response.

🤑 🎱 🤩 — 99.5% sure you didn’t lose the cat.

my eyes narrow into annoyed little slits at preston’s lack of concern for the situation at hand, tapping back my response.

if you’re so sure of that, then CLEARLY you should be over here helping me look, chief. — 🌻 🦌 🥑

****************************************

because he’s preston, and because i’m me, and that means that he comes when i call, preston is tapping on teddy’s front door within the next fifteen minutes — complete with a bag of takeout, and only a slightly annoyed look on his face.  it’ll be gone within a few seconds, i know that because i’m me, and it’s impossible to stay mad at me for that long.  it’s a scientifically proven fact!  probably!

“look at you coming in clutch,” i grab the bag of food from him, and for a few moments, the task at hand is forgotten.  “please tell me there’s a cheeseburger in here.”

preston is deadpan in his response.  “so, i can see you’re still very torn up about this.”

he says this like i’m not pulling a cheeseburger out of the bag followed by a box of curly fries.  please.

“it’s been a long night, p.”  i don’t give him a further explanation than that, bypassing sitting at the kitchen table for hopping up on the kitchen counter, letting my legs dangle off the side.  i’m nine times more likely to get preston between my knee that way, not that i’ve calculated the probability of this before — it’s just that it’s a fact.

i tear into the burger first, grabbing a fry to bite into along with it, and preston watches me for a second before he’s stealing a fry out of my box and going for the cup that i know has a cherry coke in it, because i know him like he knows me.

“so,” he starts after his sip, “did you tell teddy the terrible news?”

“about the sex thing?  no.  i didn’t want to ruin her honeymoon.  come to think of it, i could have saved her a divorce because isn’t there some, like, annulment rule if you do it within three days or something?  she’s bound to find out eventually.”

he blinks at me for a few long seconds.  he looks exhausted, which i know isn’t possible, because — hello? — he just got here.  “i meant about berlioz, you dodo.”

i grimace at the thought.  “i’d rather tell her about the sex thing.”

i go back to my sandwich, and he goes back to the fries, and for a few moments we stay like that in a comfortable silence with each other.  it’s the same way we used to sit on the school bus in the morning before school.  after school, it was all planning the afternoon and evening ahead of us, but in the morning?  i was slumped on his shoulder and he was folded up between our seat and the seat in front of us, a book open in his lap, both of us too exhausted to do anything aside from exist.  i’d offer him the bagel my mom always tried to force on me in the mornings because there was a very, very long period of time growing up when i didn’t do breakfast, and he would stick an earbud in my ear and show me the song he was currently obsessed with, and we’d stay just like that until we got to the school.

suddenly, a thought blinks into my head.  “you’ll never believe who dm’d me the other night.”  i can’t believe i forgot to tell him this sooner.  i grab my phone from where it’s sitting beside me, tapping my way to instagram, getting to the message in question and holding it out to him like a detective with his most prized piece of evidence.

“tell me this isn’t nate reynolds.”

“oh, it’s most assuredly nate reynolds.”

the brief, reader’s digest version of nate reynolds is that he was the one and only boyfriend i ever actually had for longer than five seconds.  longer than five days, even.  nate and i were together for a whopping six months sophomore year of college, plus a few months of on-again, off-again before and after that.  i still don’t know how i managed to pull it off, but in my defense, it was when he had really nice hair.

it’s a defense.  it’s absolutely a leg to stand on.

anyway, he cheated, like, more than once.  and last i heard about him, he’d gotten super fucking coked out on some trip to vegas and sent to rehab or something.  and now here he was, sitting in my dms, calling me pretty.  and i mean, he said other stuff, too, but that was clearly the important part of it all.

“he’s out of rehab?”

oh, yeah.  that too.

“and he’s sorry.  he’s doing his cross-country making amends tour.”  i reach to snag the phone back from him, but he’s still reading the messages, teetering back on his vans.  i reach out with my leg to hook it around his waist and pull him in closer and for a second, he stumbles closer before regaining his balance.

he’s focusing on something that nate said for a second, before holding the phone back out to me.  “i mean he’s not wrong.  it’s a good picture.”

i look at the picture nate had sent to me, when he’d told me i was “still beautiful.”  it was taken at teddy’s wedding, the strap of my wine red dress slipping off my shoulder and my head popping up over preston’s shoulder, laughing at the photographer’s camera.  teddy had sent me the picture as soon as she’d gotten the test copies, all in caps, exclaiming HOW CUTE! and i’d begrudgingly had to agree.

something about the faraway look in preston’s eyes catches me off guard, but just for a second.  i know he’s seen the picture before, seen me before, but something about his face looks different.  or maybe i’m tired, and it’s been a long night.  but, suddenly, i feel guilty for showing him that message.

“are you going to say anything back to him?”

“i already responded.”

“i mean, like, besides the kissy emoji.”

i snort.  “i think that pretty much sums up all i have left to say to nate reynolds, thank you.”  i snag my phone back from him, sitting it back down beside us and reaching out to him with my other leg now, and my arms.  i’m hooking myself around him, and he’s letting me.

“shouldn’t we be investigating?”

“investigating is depressing.”

his forehead nudges against mine, and he’s giving me one of those annoying knowing looks that he always gets when he’s about to challenge me — sometimes, it’s to uno when he’s drunk, because for some reason, that’s when he’s the best at uno, and other times, it’s when he’s about to be wise beyond his years, like right now.  “it’s not depressing if you’re still uncertain of the outcome.”

“except i’m not, because i started this whole petsitting thing four days ago with three pets and now i’m down to one, and i don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work.”

preston’s laughing, and if it was literally anyone else, i would be annoyed, but it’s preston, and there is nothing he could ever do at this boy that would make me genuinely mad at him (we already faced one “I’M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN” moment, and that was years ago, and that was more than enough for a lifetime, i’m nearly certain), and he presses a kiss to my forehead.

he helps me off the counter, tugging me through the loft after him.  “where’d you say thackery is?”

“under teddy’s bed.”

he looks confused for a moment, peering over his shoulder, behind us and near the front door, before he makes his way into teddy’s room, sliding down to the floor with ease, spotting the cat, and waiting for only a second before he’s responding with a confused, “uh, doe?”

“hmm?”

“that’s not thackery.”

my stomach is in my throat.  “what are you talking about?  of course that’s thackery.”

“thackery’s a black cat.”

i get down under the bed beside him, and sure enough, the cat staring back at me has a gray and white face, bright eyes and blinking.  i can hear the cat menacingly calling me a dumbass bitch from here.

“then that’s—”

“—berlioz.”

i fall back on the balls of my feet.  “so i lost thackery, not berlioz.  which is worse, might i add, because he’s a black cat, and nobody likes black cats, and—”

“—you mean the cat that was literally laying in the front window when i came in?”  pardon?  “no, i think he’s good.”

oh, hell no.

i march out of teddy’s room, back down the hall and toward the front door.  and there he is.  that little fucking twerp.  laying by the front window with his head on his paws.  thackery.

“YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK,” i exclaim, as he remains unfazed, unbothered, unwavering in his confidence.

i whip back around to face preston as he approaches me, berlioz now tucked comfortably and happily in his arm.  “we good?”  he’s smiling, crinkly in the corners of his eyes and everything.

i exhale, hands at my hips and cheeks puffed out in frustration.  “so, what are you going to tell me next?  how’s the fish?”

“very dead.  literally sleeping with the fishes.”

preston lets berlioz down, and he slides up against my leg with a smooth purr before wandering off in search of his brother.  as that happens, preston steps closer to me, looping his arms around my waist and tugging me in closer.  “it could be just me, but i think you’ve had enough…trauma for one evening.”

i’m not even going to argue, resting my chin atop his shoulder for a second, eyes closed and sighing — out of relief, exhaustion, who knows what?

“yeah,” i hum.  i can feel his lips in my hair.  “take me home.”