#she’s like if slenderman was a drag queen

[cypress-empress]

My crazy wife is back !!

[wisteriteeth]

tumblr ate my last attempt at posting this. but. nikola doodle that i fucked up a bit so now she looks like slendermans drag queen cousin

[fleogecorpse]

# CREEPYPASTA/MARBLE HORNETS HEADCANONS

#note : silly thoughts + and attempt to revive this dead asl account

nina is, obviously, a scene queen and has managed to drag cody into it. now they both dress like scene kids and became a lot closer, both skateboarding when they have nothing else to do.

jane’s a metalhead. often times she blasts music at full volume at her and mary’s place.

due to burning herself, nina lost all of her hair and can’t grow it anymore. as a result she wears wigs and false lashes, and draws on eyebrows. slowly though she’s getting used/more comfortable without them.

brian uses mobility aids, ‘nough said. he has a toothgap too.

until slenderman took him in BEN couldn’t stay in the outside world too long, so he mostly stayed in electronics.

helen’s both touch starved and touch repulsed.

sally’s a shy, closed off and quiet girl. she tends to stay away from the men of the mansion, and even when they grow close with her she’s still very wary.

laughing jack has no insides or anything, just an empty body that’s like a rubber hose cartoon.

liu is the lead singer/guitarist in a band

clockwork has a shaved head and she looks fucking amazing

toby has 2c-3a hair that reaches just above his chest. most of the time he wears it in a low ponytail or man bun, sometimes half up.

cody is toby and lyra’s half brother through their dad.

while the rest of his senses got enhanced, eyeless jack lost his taste.

nina knows how to play the drums, toby can play the cello, brian can play the bass, and jeff knows piano.

alex can’t play a single instrument but he has a good singing voice.

jeff is actually really good with kids, much to the others’ surprise.

helen can’t cook for shit.

they didn’t choose their aliases, it was the humans/society/idk.

[jimmy-johns-was-taken]

Can I request BEN Drowned with Fox Spirit S/O who was curious about Video Games? :3

Ok so since it wasn’t specified imma do Headcanons mixed with one shot cuz I’ve wanted to forever now and this ask is literally perfect

Anon you are my test subject, hope you don’t mind ❤️

BEN Drowned with a Fox Spirit s/o

So becuz this is Creepypasta, I’m going with more of a negative fox spirit?

The thing that has to do with bad omens, negativity, and is known as a trickster, sly, cunning, etc.

You were probably out in some random woods one day, MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS

And boom

Hatchet at your face

Of course it didn’t work, but now you, a nine tailed fox spirit thing, have to deal with Slenderman’s proxies

Not scary at all right?

Your probably brought to the mansion quickly, the proxies decided that after realizing you weren’t human

Slender is so over everyone and all their shit that he just kinda says “yeah fuck it, stay here, whatever man”

And thus, the mansion now has a nine tailed bad omen walking around

Nobody really talked to you at first, but then Nina spoke to you and found out you were really cool and epic and now y’all are friends

Becuz of your cunning and tricky ways, you and Nina get up to a lot of trouble

Naturally, someone messing around, it’s bound to hit BEN’s ears eventually

“Hey! Nina! You busy?” The elf questioned, slightly jogging up to the infamous scene Queen.

“No? What’s up?” She titled her head to the side.

“Ok so, who’s this new guy? I’ve heard y’all get up to shit and I feel very left out,” BEN fake pouted.

“Oh!!” Nina smiled evilly, “you would get along with with them. I think they’re in their room, come on,” before BEN could respond, Nina began dragging him down the hallway.

Your door slammed open, Nina and a blonde you had yet to meet stood in the door way. Your tails and ears perked up in high alert, but deflated when you recognized Nina. You all starred at each other, unsure of what to say. You waved, BEN gave a small wave back, and Nina rolled her eyes.

“BEN! This is (Y/N), the newest resident!” Nina squealed.

“Nice to meet you, I’m BEN,” his voice glitched and changed in sound as he spoke.

“Cool, I’m (Y/N), but Nina calls me Nine Tails.”

“Like the Pokémon?”

“The fucking what?”

And thus, a beautiful friendship was born.

You and BEN would get up to all sorts of shit

Pestering Jeff, disrupting people working, pestering Jeff some more

You two had similar personalities, both of you being sly and cunning, but it merged well and you got along great

And for a long time, you never questioned videogames

Sure, you had heard of them, but you never played or anything

And you were certain if you asked BEN if you could touch any of his precious games, he’d try to kill you then and there

So, when the nickname “Nine Tails” gained popularity throughout the mansion, you went to BEN to ask

And he told you about Pokémon

And you had no clue what a fucking Pokémon was????

The look on BENs face was to die for

He looked so offended

“Pokémon??? Like the hit game?” He questioned, hand on his chest in a fake hurt manor.

“I don’t play videogames,” you replied, rolling your eyes. BEN gasped dramatically and grabbed your wrist, sprinting to his room. Once there, he grabbed a small machine.

“What the fuck is that?” You asked.

“A console, dumbass,” BEN began digging through piles of games, “I’m going to show you my game!” He grabbed one and held it up in a small victory pose. You laughed at him, then sat down next to him to watch. He grabbed a control and booted up the game, showing you around the world.

“How do you make them move?” You asked, head resting on his shoulder and tails swinging around behind you.

“The controller, here,” he handed you the odd mechanism, and you looked back up at the screen. You moved around what BEN called a “joystick” and low and behold, the little character on the screen moved.

“Oh my gosh, look!” You tails were perked up in excitement and BEN smiled.

“I know! Cool, right?”

“Yeah!” You seemed happy, “so where’s this nine tails thing?”

“Oh my gosh, your going to love Pokémon.”

Complete side note but BEN def. Loves it when his s/o sits in his lap or Vice versa when playing videogames

[theweirdfandomqueen]

My creepypasta headcannons

Jeff has to put eye drops in his eyes every once and a while so they don't dry out

There is a slendermansion but only slendy , sally and the proxies live there the rest of the creepypastas lives in the pasta village in the woods but eat at the mansion for dinner

The reason Ben ages and sally doesn't is cause slenderman allows Ben to but doesn't want sally to due to her innocence .

Lyra had a job and she was saving up so when toby turned 18 she would of gotten him out of that house away from their father

Toby verbal tics can be full sentences

Everytimes jeffs smile heals he recarves it and slendy has nurse Anne on speed dial

Trender man is secretly a drag queen who designs his own dresses and he selling clothes on Etsy and that's how sometimes the mansions bills gets paid

Jeff names his knives in alphabetical order and organized them in alphabetical order let's just say he was not pleased when he found Bridget next to Ingrid

   Toby doesn't like waffles but he does love tacos a lot he once decapitated someone a taco bar cause they ran out of salsa

  Toby used to hang out with Lyras friends with Lyra before they left state to go to college and they were actually very nice to him . He sometimes misses them wishing he could talk to them but he lost all contact with them being so far away and because of his dad

Toby sometimes acts like a hyper child to piss everyone off he's embarrassed but proud at how he pissed everyone off

Toby hates Jeff because he had everything toby wanted and dreamed of but he just threw it away

Ticci Toby spares children only cause he thinks he would be just like his father if he laced a hand on them

  Madame macabre is dr locklear mom in that universe

When Jeff was younger he would show traits of being a phyicopath

[all-the-single-psychos]

Meet the Pastas:  Toby!

Toby Rogers, aka Ticci-Toby, currently known as “Reaper”, embarked on his path of destruction after the tragic death of his elder sister, Lyra Rogers.  Under the control of the sadistic and omnipotent Slenderman, Toby proceeded to murder his father and countless other people.  The number of Rogers’ victims has usually been totaled at 47 people, men, women and children.

At some point, around three months after his fellow proxy Jeffrey Woods broke free from Slender’s control, Toby himself managed to break free, though not unscathed, as he was chased by the queen of chasing, Kate the Chaser.  He managed to escape her, however, and dragged himself to a nearby town.  

While there, he ran into Checkmate, a young vigilante and killer like himself who had been too strong-willed for Slender to manipulate.  Checkmate, known in his civilian life as Austin Jarvis, took Toby in and nursed him back to health.  Once Rogers had recovered, Austin explained that he was a founding member of The Maverick Society, a group of killers, vigilantes, and other concerned individuals like himself who were dedicated to ridding the world of the Operators like Slenderman once and for all.  Toby wasn't too sure at first, but after meeting several individuals like himself who had experienced Slender’s manipulation, he wasn't skeptical anymore, agreeing to join the Maverick Society under the codename “Reaper”.

As his first mission for the Mavericks, Rogers was dispatched to a government-run mental asylum for high-risk, often supernaturally enhanced beings.  His task?  Find and retrieve the revenant Samantha Gerard, the result of a failed experiment by her parents, paranormal hunter Seth Gerard and his witch wife Harriet.  Posing as a patient being transferred to the asylum, Rogers spent several months there, gaining Samantha’s trust and getting information about how the asylum was run.

At some point, Samantha snapped and went on a path of destruction throughout the asylum, her supernatural abilities spiking due to her strong emotions.  Rogers managed to stay out of her way until she ran herself down after taking revenge on her maternal aunt Judith, who was head nurse of the asylum.  Samantha was hostile at first when Toby tried to approach, but she soon calmed down enough to recognize him and be a little more receptive.  It was then that Toby explained about the Maverick Society and offered her a place with them, bringing her back to their current headquarters.

[callmehawkeye]

Watched in 2017

Kids For Cash (2013): It’s easy to sit here as someone without a personal stake in this documentary’s focus, but, what I took away from it is the Luzerne County scandal contained nothing but very human individuals working out their own perspectives and self interests within justice and school systems set up to fail; or those holding office who don’t have proper insight. People fighting shades of grey with black and white theories. Children’s lives were disrupted during peak development years and even though their records were expunged, you can see the damage being impossible to reverse.

Capturing the Friedmans (2003): An introspection of a family in crisis; I believe in the 14 years since this documentary released there’s enough information available for armchair detectives to see through any biases this film presents and displays the depth trauma and denial can go.

The Jinx (2015): A miniseries focused on the life and crimes of Robert Durst where the man himself is interviewed and occasionally forgets he is wearing a hot mic.

Hannibal Buress: Comedy Camisado (2016): A great standup special that made me smile and cackle. Can’t wait to see more of Buress.

Other People (2016): Sure, it’s another cancer movie, but the family relationships and performances make this such a lovely film to watch.

Fences (2016): Play-turned-film about a family in the 1950s and the metaphorical fences they put up to keep each other safe but also to stop from connecting. Lots of great monologues put in by the cast.

Westworld (Season 1): Called all the big twists, but it’s still a great show with wonderful storytelling, scenery, and acting.

The Straight Story (1999): Best film I’ve seen by David Lynch. Poignant and moving.

Suicide Squad (2016): UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’m not much of an original storyline purist, but if there’s a strong story handed to you ready-made on a silver platter -- why make it weaker? Why not attempt to understand the context at all?

American Honey (2016): Gorgeously shot, but I really found the story content to be a bit cliché and done before but better.

Vampire’s Kiss (1989): I don’t know so much about the comedic part of this labeled black comedy when it really comes off as a quite disturbing account of a lonely, mental ill man’s downward spiral. But fun, bizarre, and unique nonetheless. 

Pete’s Dragon (2016): Not the best kid and their dragon story. Not the worst. Not the best Disney remake. Not the worst. Eff gritty reboots. I want the kid to stay with their dragon.

Killer Legends (2014): Documentary uncovering the true stories behind urban legends; the man with a hook for a hand, the babysitter with a call coming from inside the house, poisoned Halloween candy, and a killer birthday party clown.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017): While I liked The Lego Movie, I was more about Batman and how he was voiced by Will Arnett. This movie is a cesspool for in-jokes and references and I was crying nearly the entire time with laughter.

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016): Oh my god. Oh my god, why.

Tokyo Godfathers (2003): A moving story about three homeless individuals who discover an abandoned baby in the snow around Christmastime. Their search for the mother displays beautiful animation and storytelling.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017): I’m so happy the sleeper buzz of the first one got to me a few years ago. I’m so beyond thrilled with the product of this sequel that doesn’t lose its self-awareness and bite.

Train to Busan (2016): Best zombie movie I’ve seen in years and years.

Newsies Musical (2017): A lot of missteps and overacting; but still the lovely show I know and adore with flawless dancing.

Hidden Figures (2016): A film showcasing the overshadowed and overworked women of color NASA employees. Superb acting all the way.

Night of the Demons (1988): 100% ‘80s horrible, but I kind of loved it?

Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (2017): I want to write individually, uniquely written thank-you cards to everyone who made this possible.

Get Out (2017): Gorgeously shot, acted, and written; full of detail, homages, symbolism, and foreshadowing. I’m obsessed. I’m so proud of Jordan Peele and cannot wait to see what he does next.

La La Land (2016): More like Blah Blah Land.

Moonlight (2016): A gorgeously shot character study of a young man’s dichotomy of black masculinity and homosexuality.

The Belko Experiment (2017): A clever and funny horrorfest of a desk jockey company locking its employees in and pitting them against one another for a battle to the death.

Logan (2017): THIS is the Wolverine we’ve wanted. My creyes. Thanks or all the years of dedication, Jackman.

A Monster Calls (2016): For such an imaginative story as a boy’s imagination assisting his grief, it’s rather dull and removed.

The Imposter (2012): A documentary of a French national faking the identity of a missing, and much younger, American boy.

Best in Show (2000): This is literally my life now.

Tangled: Before Ever After (2017): Such a cute continuation I’ve always wanted from one of my favorite Disney films. Sweet songs, characterizations, and animation.

Ordinary World (2016): Billie Joe Armstrong in his first starring role as a man hitting a midlife crisis. It’s been done. But there’s something particularly charming about its cast and execution.

Beauty and the Beast (2017): ...Eh. It’s pretty? Some of the additions are cute and thoughtful. But it feels like a shot for shot remake.

Christine (2016): A dramatization of the real life story of Christine Chubbuck, a news correspondent who committed suicide while live on-air.

Arrival (2016): Amy Adams was robbed from a nomination. In my opinion, this is her best work ever.

Beware the Slenderman (2016): HBO documentary covering the true crime of the Slenderman-inspired stabbing and the young girls who conspired together to commit it.

The Fits (2015): A young girl in Cincinnati observes others around her spiraling into epileptic-like episodes as she joins a dance team and undergoes many pre-teen milestones. 

The Queen of Katwe (2016): The true story of the chess world’s Woman Candidate Master Phiona Mutesi.

The Love Witch (2016): I love literally everything about this ridiculous movie? With its purposeful presentation acting and romantic aesthetic? 

Jackie (2016): Natalie Portman was spellbinding.

An American Wereolf in London (1981): Took me forever to watch, but reignited my love for werewolves.

Loving (2016): True story of interracial couple Mildred and Richard Loving who got married in the late 1950s.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016): I’ve lived this genre. I grew up with this genre. I devoured hundreds of films, television series, and novels about this genre. If it were the first I ever saw, maybe I’d have liked it better. It’s fine. Just not for me.

 The Founder (2016): What a wonderfully expensive and affective commercial for McDonald’s. Now put Michael Keaton in more movies!!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016): I’m excited for the extensive look in Rowling’s universe. While hard to not compare to Harry Potter and lacking the groundwork of connection to a book series I grew up with since 11 years old, it certainly grew on me.

The Boxtrolls (2014): Late to the game on this one, but another fine film from the Laika company. I’m becoming a huge fan of theirs.

The Lost City of Z (2017): A refreshing movie to watch that’s driven by characters more than plot and with minimal CGI. Gorgeous acting. Gripping motivations and convictions. Beautiful scenery and set designs. Reminiscent of an old Hollywood epic.

Tickled (2016): Frustrating documentary about the online “competitive tickling” community and the shadiness of key players.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016): I’d probably have enjoyed this more if I hadn’t watched the Lego Batman Movie first, but I got thorough amusement from the in-jokes and returning cast of talent.

Cat People (1942): Oh look, it’s the most I can hope for in my near future.

Mommy Dead and Dearest (2017): HBO documentary about Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose Blancharde.

Drag Becomes Him (2015): I fucking love Jinx Monsoon.

A Star is Born (1954): Judy at her best.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 3): I wish this season was more focused, but it gave me some moments I’ll never forget.

Wonder Woman (2017): I already plan to go see this again and make it my theme for my 30th birthday this year. I love it that much.

The Girl on the Train (2016): Zzzzzzzzzzz

House of Cards (Season 5): You can always tell when a showrunner leaves. Robin Wright saved this show for me.

Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016): I don’t know many comedians who can make me instantly switch from laughing to crying.

Papillon (1973): There’s something captivating about this film that you don’t see every day. True storytelling epic.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (1976): Sidney Poitier is charming, and the behind the scenes turmoil for Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy had me sobbing.

Who Took Johnny (2014): The true crime story of the abduction/disappearance of Johnny Gosch.

Master of None (Season 2): There was something so maddening about Dev this season. Well, not “something.” He fucked up a lot and was quite unlikable. The directing and international film homages were second best to Denise’s single background episode.

The Beguiled (2017): Quite beautiful, great acting. Typical Sofia Coppola and entertaining enough. Not necessary for me to view again.

Baby Driver (2017): This is a standout film for me this year. It made me incredibly happy and so proud of Edgar Wright.

Orange is the New Black (Season 5): Justice for Poussey.

Excalibur (1981): I hear this is both the best and definitive version of the King Arthur myth. But everything else is really bad, and this is acceptable. It has some strong elements and covered the largest span of the myth’s time.

The Old Man and the Sea (1958): The most simply shot and presented film I’ve ever seen. Spencer Tracy is an absolute dear.

HitREcord on TV (Season 1): Such a satisfying and inspiring series to watch.

Atomic Blonde (2017): A lot more spy noir than I expected, but the action I went in anticipating was thrilling and impressive in its choreography. Loved the aesthetic and loved the soundtrack even more.

HitREcord on TV (Season 2): It’s really motivating to watch people go through the creation process in this.

Adam’s Rib (1949): Such a silly story, but Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy’s dynamic is ev. er. y. thing!

BUtterfield 8 (1960): The behind the scenes story is much more compelling and interesting.

What a Way to Go! (1964): This is honestly the most perfect movie I’ve seen in years. There is nothing about it I didn’t love nor recommend.

Detroit (2017): Not exactly the best thing to watch after Charlottesville, but it is a story that needs to be heard and not forgotten. Nothing has changed.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017): The runtime felt too long. But it’s still the best portrayal of Peter Parker so far. Such a refreshing Marvel movie to watch in the midst of my over-saturation outlook on their films. A smaller spec story was very-much needed.

T2 Trainspotting (2017): Most sequels made 20 years later aren’t anything to write home about. But man. This exceeded expectations.

Hurricane Bianca (2016): Just the kind of movie I want from a drag queen. Just the right amount of camp, message, humor, and fabulousness. 

Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (2017): I don’t think there’s anything that makes me consistently laugh this hard.

Ma Vie de Courgette (2017): Stop-animation about the connection and imagination of orphaned children in a healthy home environment.

Brigsby Bear (2017): The most unexpectedly unique and heartfelt movie I’ve seen all year.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977): Oh, so that’s why people like this movie so much.

Shameless (Season 5): More Ian, please.

Cat Women of the Moon (1953): Masterpiece. Aesthetic. My future.

Last Action Hero (1993): I feel like I unwittingly wrote this exact story as a teenager. Loved it.

The Bodyguard (1992): I will always love Whitney.

Table 19 (2017): Legitimately charming.

Kingsmen: The Golden Circle (2017): Not as good as the first, but plenty of strong ideas that I enjoyed with a lovable cast.

mother! (2017): Fucking horrifying and sent me into an anxiety attack that lasted longer than a day -- ethereal and quite the theater-going experience.

Sunshine on Leith (2014): Proclaimers musical. Pretty by the numbers, but very eagerly genuine and sweet.

The Powder and the Glory (2007): PBS documentary about Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein. -- I’m Team Rubinstein, by the way.

It (2017): A great retelling of the original story with a strong and likable cast. I’m excited to see who they cast as the older counterparts in Part 2.

The Zookeeper’s Wife (2017): An interesting perspective of who is left behind during wartime. 

Sgt. Pepper’s Musical Revolution (2017): PBS documentary on my boys.

Fist Fight (2017): 90 minutes of line-o-rama comedy. But I love the lead actors.

Gilda (1946): My, my, my Hayworth. Finish him.

I Am Heath Ledger (2017): A retrospective of Ledger with interviews by those legitimately closest to him. Very touching and insightful.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017): The most visually stunning film I’ve seen in a long, long time.

Personal Shopper (2017): Kristen Stewart stars as a woman living in France, waiting for a sign of life from her deceased twin brother.

Gifted (2017): I’m here for Evans and Evans alone.

XX (2017): Four horror shorts directed by women, each uniquely shot and told.

The Promise (2016): The movie was sold short by a misdirection in advertising; it’s more -- and interestingly so -- about the Armenian genocide than just another wartime love triangle. Come on, guys. Polyamory. Polyamory is always the answer.

The Circle (2017): Unwatchable. The film itself doesn’t even know what it’s trying to say.

The Public Enemy (1931): Mostly watched this because of the closing of The Great Movie Ride, above all else.

Leverage (Season 1): Race to finish all 5 seasons before it’s taken off of Netflix. I love this team.

Leverage (Season 2): I have so many feelings about these characters and their relationships with each other.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): Polyamory. I told you. The answer is always polyamory. And bondage.

Stranger Things (Season 2): I’m so happy this is finally here, and so mad I’m already finished.

Leverage (Season 3): I love the slow development and bonding the team has gone through.

Leverage (Season 4): The more ridiculous and implausible the mission, the more I love the episode.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017): I don’t care that it was “too funny.” It was exactly what I wanted out of a Marvel movie.

Leverage (Season 5): Well. It’s official. I’ve been Stockholm-syndromed by a show.

The Foreigner (2017): It was fine. It was another misleading trailer, so not what I was expecting. But it was fine.

The Thing (1982): Mmm mmm mmm ‘80s Kurt Russell in a solid John Carpenter thriller/horror.

To Have and Have Not (1944): Bogart and Bacall is goals.

Alien: Covenant (2017): Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017): This is actually a solid sequel I greatly enjoyed. It’s been a few years since I’ve enjoyed a Marvel movie, and now I have two!

The Librarians (Season 1): Okay, this is a good Leverage replacement.

The Librarians (Season 2): This show is super endearing and I’m pleased it exists.

Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer (1992): Going to the My Favorite Murder live show encouraged me to finally watch this.

Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (2003): An update and deeper delve into Wuornos. Super upsetting to watch her mental deterioration unfold onscreen. 

The Librarians (Season 3): All caught-up for season 4 in December!!

Sleight (2016): I had a difficult time watching this movie. There was something about the sound-mixing that triggered some anxiety and auditory stress. But I liked what I could see of it.

Cujo (1983): Probably my second-favorite King movie now. Very simple, yet effective.

Lady Bird (2017): I’m happy to have seen this before the hype got too big. It was so relatable and enjoyable.

Christine (1983): Quite entertaining, great music, top camp.

Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie (2017): Mostly made up of callbacks, but I DO NOT CARE. Such a satisfying nostalgia bookend.

Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri (2017): Fantastic dialogue and performances. I feel so many side stories and characters were meant to build up the main storyline and give context, but I feel it left a lot of characters wanting and left used. 

Novitiate (2017): I had no idea the Catholic church did the sisters so dirty with Vatican II. Very tense film and makes you quite sympathetic for the women in it.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (2016): Spectacular HBO documentary of my goddess and the mother goddess. I cried a lot.

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (2012): Documentary follows Chinese artist and figure, Ai Weiwei, as he uses social media and activism in his art and to hold the government accountable.

Shameless (Season 6): Needs more Ian. Tired of everyone else’s bullshit. Will I last much longer?

Calamity Jane (1953): Casting Doris Day as the butch Calamity Jane is the most hilarious and gay thing I’ve ever seen and I love it.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017): It’s beautiful, but such a terrible adaptation that guts any tension, stakes, and even mystery as well as gives little for the talented cast to cut their teeth on.

Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo-Qiang (2016): The attempts and execution of a 1,650 foot ladder made of fireworks.

Monster (2003): Ohhhh, THAT’S why Charlize won the Oscar...

The Big Sick (2017): So charming and such a legit romantic comedy.

The Disaster Artist (2017): I watched this in the same way I watched the room: Through my fingers, curled up on my side, and whispering, “Stop. Stop. Stop.” I loved it.

Coco (2017): Well, Pixar fucked me up once again.

My Friend Rockefeller (2015): Documentary about con artist and murderer Christian Gerhartsreiter.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1): De. Light. Ful.

Shameless (Season 7): Finally caught up!

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017): Yes. I see the faults. I understand. I just don’t care. I absolutely loved it. 

The Greatest Showman (2017): Probably my biggest disappointment of the year. The cast and musical numbers were great, but everything in-between was so weak and uninteresting. For a non-diagetic musical, they never earned their musical moments. I’d rather have watched a non-Barnum circus movie all about ZEfron and Zendaya for 2 hours with Jackman in the Master of Ceremonies role. It felt like every non-musical scene was trying to sprint through to get to the next song.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017): I didn’t expect to adore this as much as I did? Jack Black was the standout and was so endearing and respectful towards teenage girls!

The Little Hours (2017): My forever mood/aesthetic in film form.

Gook (2017): Black and white film about the ‘92 L.A. riots from the perspective of two Korean-American brothers.

Carnage (2017): Mockumentary made by Simon Amstell told from the future where veganism is the norm.

Good Time (2017): An epic told over the span of 24 hours of a bank robbery gone wrong.

Dave Chappelle: Equanimity & The Bird Revelation (2017): Chappelle’s latest Netflix specials, back to back. I don’t agree with a lot of what he said and didn’t always laugh. But when he reached me, he did it right.

Battle of the Sexes (2017): That haircut scene helps fuel my Emma Stone fantasies. 

I, Tonya (2017): While I do believe Harding never takes responsibility for herself when she should, I still can’t begrudge her place in media history.

The Shape of Water (2017): This movie was fucking everything to me.

2016 | 2015 | 2014

[cypress-empress]

quick Helen test

I miss her