#she’s gonna get a park ranger gf eventually

[imogenkol]

— THERE’S SOMETHING IN THE WOODS

it’s August and the warm wind starts to fade into a crisp breeze. Nothing feels right, but it hasn’t felt right in years.

it’s September and just when you think the sweltering heat has released you from its jaws, it swallows you whole and spits you out one final time.

it’s November and the ghost of snow hangs in the air. There’s mud stuck in the grooves of your soles. Something feels wrong.

Something is very wrong.

The unsolved disappearance of her childhood best friend leads Gemma Porter on an investigation of her own across the remote wilderness of America’s National Parks, revealing dozens of similar cases with mysterious and unexplained circumstances. Many theorize a creative serial killer or plain bad luck in the elements are to blame, including Gemma herself. Until she wakes up in the forest one day and finds that an entire month is missing from her memory. Gemma continues her investigation with more purpose than ever, putting together the pieces of what happened to her and the others and why she seems to be the only one to ever return.

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[thugnan]

Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake (PC 2002)

Story: 8/10

Characters: 8/10

Puzzles: 7/10

Chores: 7/10

Final Rating:  7/10

Fortunately Her Interactive was able to redeem themselves in my eyes after Secret of the Scarlet Hand. Toning down the book trivia heavy plot, but still presenting history in an engaging and interesting way. They also expanded the world they built for this game compared to the previous games by having bigger map. I might be slightly biased because of the ties to the mob and mob culture.  Like Message in a Haunted Mansion, it tried to be spooky, but just enough that it wasn’t annoying. I’ve also played this one like 5 times and have never run into any sort of glitches. The story/plot was easy to flow through despite the expanded universe.  This had less character involvement and it strangely worked for it. The chores were tedious but not as bad as Secret of the Scarlet Hand, and they created a more linear storyline. 

Plot (spoilers obviously):

Thug Nan is visiting her friend um.. Sarah? I honestly don’t remember and I was playing this last night. I’m going to call her Scaredy McScaredy pants. Because by the time you get there b i t c h is G O N E. Some ghost dogs apparently scared her off, what a wuss. 

After you arrive, a tree falls behind your car, so you’re technically “stuck” until you can find someone to remove the tree. Which is fine, you’re not a coward, but boy is this house falling apart. I can’t imagine why anyone would make such a poor investment. But okay I guess the same could be said about the mansion in Message in a Haunted Mansion. 

When you call McScaredy she tells you that while you’re stuck there, you should do her chores for her, which is bullshit. Whatever Thug Nan wants to get a load of these “ghost dogs” that sound like a bunch of baloney.

Whatever, shortly after that phone call the house is “attacked” by “ghost dogs”, I’m sorry but I’m a skeptic. Even if I saw their glowing eyes with my own two non-glowing eyes, I will get to the bottom of this.

You immediately run into Red Knott, who is obvs your first suspect. He watches birds but only at night?(tempted to spongebob meme) And he hates everyone. If it were up to him the park would be axed and he would live among the birds as one of their own. Very suspicious, but we’ve got other suspects to meet. 

He tells you to bug off and then morning you try to get on McScaredy pant’s boat only to find out that you need to borrow a spark plug from that same dood that told you to bug off. G R E A T. But because this is a Nancy Drew game, we already know that it’s going to come with a catch.

Red “Ivan Vanko” Knott wants pictures of birds. And even tho he’s perfectly fine doing this during the night, I gotta wait till the morning to do this, peachy. 

In the morning I can boat places so I go meet:

Emily: Lady who runs Em’s Emporium, her store is filled with things that she stole found in the lake. She’s convinced there’s treasure in there, and hates that the lake is on park land because that means that she can’t be hustling. 

Jeff Ackers: Park Ranger, that wants to make the park BIGGER, something something about being power hungry. He’s kind of a goody two shoes. He doesn’t like that your friend’s property was sold to her because that means he can’t be promoted or something. 

RIGHT, I forgot to mention that the property used to be owned by Post Malone’s grandpa (tru fact), Mickey Malone, a tru american gangster who got convicted for tax evasion (remind u of anyone?). He had four dogs that he loved, and it’s allegedly them who are haunting the property. 

Looking for the birds, you find his grave, and the grave of his 4 doggos. But for some reason two of the birdos hate you, and after talking to Ivan Vanko, he tells you that you gotta get some of that camo and be a nerd. Thug Nan only does it for the sake of the ghost doggos. 

Except the bank of Thug Nan is running kinda low, you don’t actually have money. Emily makes you go bug hunting to pay for the camo. When you are finally able to snap a picture of the last bird, you discover that someone installed speakers on the house? Suspicious. But unfortunately you get knocked the eff out before you can investigate 

When you wake up, someone has tied you up in the shed and SET U ON FIRE. W T F. I literally have zero leads but okay sure. When you look for the speakers, they’re gone, so we’re back to square one. 

 The convoluted puzzle in the living room finds you a super secret passageway into the basement. There’s nothing much down there except rats and a journal that reveals that Jeff Acker’s great great grandaddy was best friends forever with Mickey Malone. 

When you confront him, he’s like what? Naa I ain’t got ties to the mob that would go against my goody two shoes vibe I’m trying to instill. Which reminds me, this  b i t c h ticketed ME when I almost died, something about a fire hazard. Eventually he fesses up, and admits that his g-pa was in cahoots with Mickey Malone. Which is great because you need to get in contact with MM’s ex gf. 

MM’s ex gf tells you about the speakeasy in Malone’s basement and how to get into it. You trade the picture you found of her for the key. You go a lurking… and find the said speakeasy, it’s smaller than we expected but I bet Malone gets that a lot (joking, don’t kill me). 

After pulling a bunch of levers, you find another secret passage, all these puzzles are dog related and ngl I’m not hating it. MM’s ex gf hated these pouches, but shiiii girl I’ll take them all. You solve more dog puzzles and you find the doggos, you best know that Thug Nan gonna take every single one of these home with her. You find magic dog toothpaste that glows in the dark (they never explain the glowing eyes????) 

Thug Nan is gonna unleash hell on whoever is keeping these precious babies in such a sketch place. You discover their journal, and it sounds like they’re looking for treasure. Which only Jeff and Em know about… Who are the only two real suspects let's be real. 

One you’re in the vault, you find the gold, the moula, i soldi, el dinero, if you catch my drift. That’s when Em shows up all like “homie das MY gold” and is about to yeet Thug Nan down a ladder if you don’t get out of there. Fortunately you manage to trap her in there till the po-po can take care of her. 

Once again the day is saved, thanks to Thug Nan legit carrying the entire investigation. 

I think Jeff is promoted, and Sarah Scardy Pants gets to keep the doggos. THE END.