#she’s giving me mixed signals and I don’t understand humans

[hotvampireadjacent]

The only context I’ll give: 100% chance it’ll backfire and hurt me when she ignores me and then decides to, seemingly at random, remember I exist and text me a full year later. This cycle has been going on for the past few years and it’s probably not healthy for me to even try to stay in contact with her bc I only ever get hurt and we never are able to talk enough for me to even mention it.

The most confusion thing is when I’m finally getting over our friendship being dead she’ll text me out of the blue and it’ll really trigger my anxiety and depression bc I know she. Won’t talk to me again and will ignore my texts and never reply after 3-4 messages

[yumimak]

Anomaly- Chapter 1

Neteyam

Sky People.

The invasive species that have somehow found themselves on our planet, on our land, and even in our clan. 

I’ve known of these people my entire life. My own father used to be one of them and even one of my siblings' closest friends is one of them. The two scientists standing before me were even a part of the species.

Many people in our clan fear the sky people, only accepting Spider since he was raised among us. I can never say I have feared them though, my dad being the man who prevented that. But that does not mean I necessarily like the sky people, or want any more of them around than we already have.

My father feels the same way hence why his ears shoot up alertly when one of the human scientists mentions bringing two more sky people to their lab. 

Norm had been trying to convince my dad to meet with him for the past month. Seeing as he is very busy, making the time to be here had been very hard. Had he known what Norm and Max were going to ask he would have said no before even arriving, let alone drag Lo’ak and I along. 

I look over at my brother who stands on the opposing side of my dad, he looks annoyed as he brings his face mask up to his face to take a breath. I understand why though, I had been brought here to see how an Olo’eyktan would handle situations with the human scientists, but Lo’ak was here simply as punishment. He had stayed out past the eclipse and seeing as he hated meetings, my father made him join us here.

“You two really begged me here to ask a stupid ass question like that? No, you can not invite any more humans here,” my dad bluntly responds.

“Well they are not exactly humans per say,” Norm corrects. “They are more a mix between humans and na’vi.”

“Okay, so they are avatars? That doesn’t change my decision.” My dad moves to leave but the other scientist, Max, steps in front of his colleague.

“Jake, please fully hear us out.” 

My dad sighs before stepping slightly back, signifying he would hear them out. Max nods to Norm, signifying for him to continue. “Okay well,” Norm states, “These two, these siblings, are not avatars as you once were. They are quite literally a genetic mix of both humans and na’vi.”

Lo’ak and I give eachother an interesting look before my dad responds, “Norm, look, I understand how as a scientist you may find that interesting, but they were raised around humans and that mindset. How would we know that this isn’t just some plot to invade us?  Contact with that RDA base alone is so dangerous, Norm,  let alone bringing them to us, you know that. In fact, how do you know about them at all?”

“Well.. about five years-”

“Five years?!”

“Let him finish,” Max cuts my dad off. Only a few were bold enough to do so, but seeing as they were friends, my dad simply complied.

“About five years ago,” Norm resumes, “Our signal was interrupted by the RDA base.” Those words not only further peak my brother and I’s interest but also my fathers. Norm, Max, and the other human scientists here had apparently spent years perfecting their signal security to keep data away from the RDA. 

It had been strong, nobody had been able to get through it. Or, so we thought.

“I thought that was impossible,” my dad states.

“So did we,” Norm responds.

“But one of the two, the girl, was able to get through it like it was nothing,” Max adds. “Not to mention she was only thirteen at the time.”

“Although impressive,” my dad states, “I don’t see why this should make me welcome them here.”

“Well,” Norm starts again, “I had stayed in touch with her after that day. She was young and curious, but most importantly hated everything the RDA had been ingrained into their brains. I taught her about Pandora outside of what I knew the RDA had been saying to her. I taught her that the na’vi were not the ‘animalistic species’ that the humans wanted them to think they were.”

“That sounds great and all, but the clan is not a charity center. We can’t just take in random people because we feel bad.”

“Yes, I know that, Jake,” Norm says, frustration lightly dripping from his tongue. “But frankly I think it’s the least you could do.”

“Oh yeah, what have they done for me that should make me want to let them here?”

“Um, let’s think about how few raids you have had recently.. you think the RDA was just backing off? No, it was them cleverly sabotaging any plan they could have. Or how that girl has spent the past few years manipulating their experiments to avoid scientific developments that could lead to your demise. They risk themselves so often for people they have only heard of and they are only eighteen, Jake.”

“Not to mention all the things they must know,” Max cuts in. “All the info they must take in on the daily that you could benefit from in avoiding the RDA and their restriction. You need to think more strategically, man.”

I look up at my dad, he’s pondering their words yet his demeanor says no, it says that he will not back down on his initial answer.

“Come on, Jake,” Norm says. “These kids just want a normal life, one that they certainly won't get at that lab especially if they stay any longer. You know what it’s like being young and seeking a chance of actually making something of yourself. Don’t deprive them of that chance.”

Before my dad could make up his mind the distant sound of what seemed like the heavy front door shutting from somewhere else in the building sounds. There are two voices, one of a boy who is laughing, and the other of a girl which seems to be telling the boy to ‘shut the fuck up.’

The attention instantly falls back on the two scientists whose faces are both of guilt. “I know you did not bring them here anyway,” my dad mumbles in a mix of anger, annoyance, and just plain frustration.

“Well we thought that you were going to say yes and we just thought that this meeting was going to be three days ago which is how long their trip was,” Norm blurted out.

As the voices of the two get closer, my fathers lowers. “You two realize that as of now they have no set place to go? This was a dumb decision.”

“No, they can stay here until then, Jake, just please don’t push them away. Not yet, not until you’ve at least met them.”

“Fine,” my dad breathes out once more as our attention all draws to the door of the lab we were currently in as the voices draw nearer.

“It can’t possibly be that bad,” the boy laughs.

“Could you just shut up?” the girl asks in annoyance. “Where the hell is Norm?”

“LITTLE SCIENTIST FRIEND!!” the boy calls out. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” The sound of a slap echoes through the halls, “Owww.”

“Stop yelling, dumbass,” the girl mumbles.

My dad sends an unimpressed look to Norm who’s face reddens in embarrassment before he speaks up, “We’re in here!”

The directions of their  footsteps seem to change. “Who is ‘we?’” the girl asks as she slightly ducks to make it through the doorway. She pauses though when she sees my father, my brother and I.

Before she can say anything else though, a loud thud sounds from behind her. The boy, who seemed to not have noticed how low the door frames were, holds his head where he had harshly hit it. “Ah shit,” he mumbles, as he ducks to properly enter the lab.

The girl instantly breaks out into laughter, one hand covering her mouth and the other holding on her side. I think at that brief moment we all, excluding Norm and Max, noticed one defining trait of the two. They looked exactly the same, they were twins.

But of course other traits drew our attention, like the fact that despite their obviously human faces, they had tails and the boy had a que falling from the back of his head. Or the fact that they had the same striped marking as us, but instead of blue, their skin was that of a human shade. They had five fingers similarly to half of my family, but the same ears that all na’vi had. 

“Would you stop laughing?” the boy asks, his hand still holding his forehead in pain.

The girl still laughs as she mocks previous words that had been heard from down the hall, “Awh, come on. It can’t possibly be that bad.”

The boy grimaces at his twin while I take the chance to look up at my dad once again. His eyes were transfixed on the twins as I had, yet they had fully softened as the same realization that we all had set in.

They truly were just kids.

“Guys,” Norm says, drawing their attention back to our side of the room.

“Sorry,” the boy mumbles as he pulls his hand away from his face, although his eye still narrows from the pain in his head.

The girl still has a slight smile on her face though as the two of them make their way towards our side of the room. As they draw nearer I pick up on the fact that although they are significantly taller than Norm and Max, they are also much shorter than the average na’vi.

“What were you two fussing about in the hallway?” Max asks as the twins simultaneously reach behind them, in between their jacket and their back, removing a small handgun from their respective waist bands. As if heavily coordinated to move in sync, they both unload their guns, sliding the thing that holds the bullets into their left pocket and placing the guns on one of the tables near the entrance.

The boy answers when they finally join the group of us at the center of the lab, “She got hurt and has been complaining about it for the past five hours.”

We all look at the girl but she just grimaces up at her brother before sighing and looking at Norm. “I got stung by like three Zezi’,” she explains, her pronunciation of the na’vi insect rolling off her tongue almost perfectly.

Norm’s face turns into one of concern, “Can I see?”

The girl nods before letting her jacket fall off her shoulders. She wore one of those very small shirts that I've seen pictures of human women wear. With her jacket gone, the marks that scattered over her skin in the same way that bioluminescent marks would scatter over na’vi bodies were now visible. But instead of glowing, the majority of the marks were just a darker shade of her normal skin shade, humans call them freckles.

Besides her marks, the most obvious thing presented on her exposed torso were the three huge, red stings that had definitely been left by the Zezi’. Knowing how bad just one of those stings are; my dad, Lo’ak, and I all wince at even the sight of the three of them. The girl rolls her eyes at our reaction, mumbling, “You’re telling me.”

Norm nods over to one of the lab benches near us before going off to grab something, “Sit up there, I have something that will help.”

The girl moves to the table, her brother in tow. She hops up on to the table where he simply leans against it. Jake looks to Max, expecting something that he was not getting. “um,” Max stumbles out, “Why don’t you two introduce yourself to my good friend Jake.”

“The Olo’eyktan?” the boy asks.

“Mhmm,” Norm hums as he returns. He has a tiny jar in his hands, “he and his children are eager to meet you.”

The twins' eyes flicker to my father who was visibly frustrated. “He doesn’t look eager,” the girl states.

“What’s up with you?” the boy asks.

Norm sighs at their questioning as he opens the jar beside the girl. He removes a leaf that had been soaked in a medicine that my grandmother had made him to help with healing these wounds. “Well, I can’t say that I am excited to be welcoming you too.”

The girl rolled her eyes before mumbling to Norm, “You didn’t tell me he was so rude.”

“Y/n,” Norm warns her away from speaking ill of my father.

“What? I’m just saying tha- ah shit!” The girl, who’s apparently called ‘Y/n,’ sentence is cut short when Norm places the leaf against one of the stings. Her ears fold down and she squeezes her eyes shut. In contrast to her, the boy beside her ears shoots up in alertness as he seems to check on his sister.

“Sorry,” Norm mumbles. The girl brushes him off before she looks back to my dad, expecting him to finish explaining himself.

He does just that. “I am not excited because I had no clue you too were going to be here. Considering you guys are coming from our main enemy, I don’t think I can let you simply join our clan.”

The twins look at my dad as if they have seen a ghost, they are so distracted by his words that Y/n doesn't even seem to notice when  Norm placed another leaf, aside from her stifled inhale. “What do you mean you didn’t know?” the boy asks.

The girl looks at Norm, slightly pushing him away before he could place the last leaf. “I thought you said that he was okay with it.”

Norm’s face turns red in guilt, “Well I was expecting him to say yes sooner.” As he explains himself he places the last leaf. This time, when he places the leaf, the girl seems to express the pain by hitting Norm in the arm. “Oww,” he says, holding his arm. “What was that for?”

“For being an idiot! You really made Noah and I take that long ass trip without even knowing if he would let us stay or not?”

“I thought he was going to meet with me sooner. I thought that by the time he said yes you would have already been on your way here, my timing just didn’t work out. But, he’s at least thinking about it.”

Y/n looks to my dad hopefully. Norm looks to my dad with the same look, except his begs for my dad to lie for his own sake. Despite either look, my idiot of a brother decides to instigate, “He never said that.”

“Look, kid,” my dad says solemnly. “You have to understand it from my point of view. I am the leader of the clan and me allowing you too to simply join would not be smart on my part. You come from the people that threaten the existence of my very clan. Do you understand where I’m coming from?”

The boy's ears are flat against his head when he responds, “Yes.”

My dad looks at the girl next but she has somewhat of a defiant look etched onto her face. “Do you?” my dad questions again.

“Well, I do, but I don’t necessarily agree,” she responds. “I think your logic is flawed.”

With those simple words, the atmosphere shifts. Nobody challenged my dad ever; not on his plans, not on his logic. The only people who had a say were my mother and my grandmother. Definitely not the random girl that had randomly arrived here merely a few minutes ago.

“Y/n,” Max warns this time, taking a step closer to the two.

“No,” my dad says, putting a hand up before looking back at the girl. “What’s wrong with my logic?”

“Well,” the girl starts as she pulls her legs up onto the table and crosses them. “I totally understand you wanting to protect your people. There is nothing wrong with that, but I feel that if you push us away you’d only be harming the clan you’re trying so hard to protect. I mean, you haven’t even considered why we’re even here, because I assure you it’s not just for kicks and giggles.”

My dad sighs, “Why are you here?”

A smug smile covers her face, “I thought you’d never ask.”

“We’re here because we want to help you,” her brother cuts in, getting the conversation back on track.

“Why would I need help?” my dad asks.

“Maybe because the RDA is making plans that you’d most likely never see coming.”

“Plans that my brother and I are very much aware of,” Y/n starts back. “Even with future plans out of the picture, you’ve got to have noticed how little raids you have had. That was us. And in all honesty, if I wanted to bring harm to your people I could've drained every bit of info these scientists had when I had intercepted your lousy signal five years ago. But I didn’t, because I care about your land and your people. We both do. But with the way things are going now, even our attempts at holding them back are faltering. And us being there, with those scientists, will only progress the speed of their progress.”

“What plans?” my dad.

Her mouth almost turns down into a frown before she speaks again, “Well they no longer seek unobtainium as they used to. At this point they seek to make Pandora the new habitat for humans.”

“Which is why we even exist at the moment,” the boy adds.

“What?” Lo’ak asks a question that I know the three of us are all pondering.

“Okay,” the girl restarts. “At first the RDA seeked data and resources from the land. But seeing the downwards spiral that Earth is going through, they are now seeking to make Pandora the new Earth. They no longer want what you can give them, they want your people gone and for being’s like Noah and I to replace the na’vi, making it a new, human conquered and inhabited land.”

“So they’ve just thrown the whole Avatar Program out the window?” My dad asks, heavily hanging on to each of her words. 

“And what’s the difference between you two and an avatar?” I ask.

The girl looked between the two of us before answering my dad first, “Yes, they closed down the Avatar Program about three years after you left, Mr. Sully. And to answer your question,” she looks at me, “Avatar are simply bodies that inhabit the mind of a human. Noah and I are genetically bound to these bodies how you are to yours and how humans are to their original form without the Avatar.”

The girl lifts her five-fingered  hand, looking at it as she speaks, “Noah and I were born into these bodies.” She drops her hand before looking at my father, “After years of research they’ve found out how to create a perfect mix between na’vi and human traits. It’s a true and honest fact that should scare the shit out of you because if they are able to reproduce our DNA then they are just one step closer to replacing humankind with beings like us. And another step closer to getting rid of your people.”

There is a frighteningly still silence in the air as Noah speaks again, “Not to mention the specific vendetta that Quaritch has against you.”

“Oh yeah, that man hates your guts.”

The name shocks all of us, Lo’ak and I had only ever heard of it from stories of the war that was fought many years ago. We were told that he was dead though, the only living trace of him on this planet being his son Spider. My dads eyes narrow as he steps closer to them, “Where did you hear that name?!”

“Um, most recently..?”

“Probably, five days ago when he got mad at Y/n and I and we were called to his office.”

Y/n laughs as she looks over to her brother and further explains, “He was so pissed because we had missed our training and apparently it was ‘crucial for us to be there.’”

“Your impression of him is so bad,” he laughs.

“I’d like to see you do better.”

“Okay then,” he responds, accepting her challenge as he deepens his voice and mimics the man they speak of. “‘You too were supposed to be there, it was crucial-’”

“Enough!” My dad announces before their games can continue. Their ears drop as they look to my father, an almost fearful expression on each of their faces. Their scared expression dissolves when they turn and see it was just my dad. As if they expected the yell to have come from someone else. “This is not a game, it is not funny to joke about this. Quaritch is dead.”

The girl shakes her head, “The old white man you called ‘Quaritch’ may be dead, but his consciousness is most definitely alive and thriving.”

“They gave him an Avatar?” my dad asks in disbelief.

Noah nods, “Yep, he’s now a tall blue man with lots of guns and a bunch of other Avatars beneath him.”

“And all of them seek the destruction of you and everyone you love,” the girl finishes. Her eyes flickering over to Lo’ak and I, “Which seems to now include more than just Neytiri.” My dad’s jaw clenches yet his ears lower against his face. The twins have just brought all of my dads possible fears to life without even realizing it. Y/n notices this look, “But if you let us stay here a lot of this can be prevented. Recreating our DNA will be difficult if Noah and I aren’t there. And we swear to give you everything we know for the greater good of your clan. We just need you to promise that you’ll protect us in return.”

Her last sentence is one pack with longing. As if out of all the words she had spoken, those twelve words were the only ones that truly mattered to her.

My dad lets out a heavy sigh, “I can’t just let you in to the clan-”

The twins' ears drop and their mouths fall into deep frowns.

“-without speaking to Neytiri and Mo’at. It will take a lot of convincing, but if they say yes then I will allow it.”

They react twice as fast to those words, ears peeking up words and big smiles forming that allow their pointed canines to be revealed, “Really?!”

“Yes, it’s not a promise that they will say yes, but you can stay here even if they say no.”

Swinging tails show their excitement. “Thank you so much, sir,” the boy says.

My dad can’t fight his smile as he nods to the two before excusing us. They wave goodbye as we exit the lab, removing our masks and leaving the building. The second we are back outside, my fathers smile drops and he sighs.

“What’s wrong, dad?” Lo’ak asks.

“Nothing,” he responds, “It’s just..”

“You aren’t going to ask, mom?” I question, my stomach sinking at the idea of my father giving the twins false hope. “No, no. I will ask, I just.. I just fear they will say no.”

[beholdenning]

fletching plumage // farina + denning

@making-dough

continued from here.

♠  - Considering how many times the Morph repeated that one saints-damned sentence during battle, finding out they’re apparently mute was a surprise. Truly, Nergal must've been a being of infinite patience...who also neglected to tell them when to stop so she can't give him that much credit.

"Well, now you've just got me feeling bad.", the mercenary grumbled, scratching at her cheek awkwardly. It wasn't feeling right to be bullying the disabled. It's even worse that they don't even seem to be aware that they're being mocked. No reaction at all. It's not even fun to bully.

"Oh, forget it.", she sighed before promptly being struck with another idea and leaned in, grinning widely. "Tell you what. Go to the kitchens, tell them that and count how many crackers they give you. What do you say?" There was a slight pause as she remembered his condition.

"Just, uh, just nod if you're okay with it. I can repeat that if you didn't catch it the first time?", she offered. He wasn't completely mute, judging by how well they copied the squawks. Just...having issues with words, she'd guessed.

"Den-ning wan-ts cr-ack-er.", she repeated, slower this time, pronouncing every syllable, sound by sound. Damn, this was a lot of work for what started as a joke. She might also need to figure out how to get him to stop. If he does that repeating thing again, well, she wasn't going to be responsible if someone gets driven up the wall!

"Stop when someone tells you to, I guess.", she finished with a slight wince. It might already have been too late by then. She might have to follow along in case things get out of hand. Wait, hold on, would he even know what to do with the crackers? Do Morphs even need to eat? Forget it, she'll happily shove that problem onto the kitchen staff.

"Don't worry about the windows.", Farina declared, waving a hand at said windows vaguely. "I'll grab someone to fill in."

Which left the final problem being...What the crap was he doing with his hands?, Farina asked herself, forcing herself to stare blankly at the Morph's hands. If Denning was a mage like Limstella, she might've suspected something magick-y happening but no, no, she's fought them. He's an archer. She still remembered that half a heart attack she had seeing that many archers! Anyway, she's never heard of anyone successfully mixing weapons and magic. Well, not in Elibe, anyway.

Huh, guess that meant she hadn't completely let down her guard around them. Checks out. If you run around half of Elibe being chased by these things, you're going to have some resistance seeing them again.

Wait, was that sign language? Help, does she need to learn sign language now? Military hand signals were one thing - You needed to know where you're attacking during the heat of battle, after all - but she's never needed to learn sign language before. Oh, help, teaching Morphs how to human was never part of her job description!

In fact, can we go back to murder?, she felt tempted to ask. That was a lot easier! Facing all those archers aside, anyway.

Ah, so she cannot understand 'sign'. That is unideal for when next they meet. (They seldom see people more than twice, and those they do, they usually see again, later. It is not an unreasonable assumption to make.)

Slowly but surely, though, the woman begins to speak words that make sense. Denning does not question the hows or whys of the task she gives them, and simply nod in response, as requested. Why would it not be okay? She is grinning so broadly, a combination of upturned lips and bared teeth that so often played as prelude for orders or conversation. This is hardly different.

And — Ah, few humans so far had given them time to try to chew and swallow the words given to it, accepting their clumsy vocalisations as truth. Even common repetitions happened too quick for their tongue to keep up... These words being spoken with intention to guide, not only as syllables, but with separate enunciation, distinction from where the tones ball together behind their teeth, certainly helps. Their brow raises a fraction in surprise, even if they don’t realise.

"Den-ning," they murmur, haltingly, "w-a-nn-tss c-r-ak-r." Their voice trails off near the end, testing the texture of the word more than the sound. Their lips continue to move with a soft hiss of air, repetition setting in like an old friend. Denning wants cracker. The grammar is incorrect, but they enjoy having words between their teeth again regardless. "Denning," they know that one, the name given to them, "w-an-ts cr-ack-er."

Golden eyes turn away from the familiar woman again (a pegasus knight, they recall now, their steeds a prime target for any sniper), regard the window left half-cleaned, turn again towards the hallway of them they had yet to get to. They put down the rag they were using, hang it on the rim of their bucket of soap water, and look back at her, still mouthing the sentence, before they put voice into the shape again;

"Denning wan-tsss crack-er." (It's slowly morphing into an uncanny imitation of her cadence, that mockery of birdcall. If someone knows her well enough, they might be able to suss her out...)

If she insists someone will fill in for them, they have no reason not to believe her. The knights and monks working together here is not unlike the clockwork established back when the Dragon's Gate was not yet silent. They give her a little bow as affirmative, before turning to move down the hall, continuing to mutter fragments of the given sentence under their breath.

“Denning, Denning, Denning...”

A pause. If they have a name, surely she does, too? All the humans they had met so far had names. They turn around halfway, point at her, cock their head in an inquiring motion clearly forced.

“Nn...” ‘name’ is still beyond them, “... Denning?” but they manage a variation of tone, a softer imitation of Lord Nergal’s call.

Hopefully she understands that better than she had their hands.

[bradsmindbrain]

Does Elsa know Jack and Ted are married? I’d love a prompt where she finds out.

Surprise

Summary: Elsa is acting odd, and when Jack find out why, he’s happy to explain.

TW: Slightly suggestive comments toward the end

Jack smiled as Elsa sat across from him, taking a sip of tea. It had been awhile since the two of them had last met, months since she, Jake, and Ted had come to his rescue. As it stood, it was nice to see her again, even if she was being oddly quiet. He heard his husband in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the three of them, judging by the smell, it was probably steak, he quite liked steak. While he wasn’t a bad cook by any means, Ted could make pretty much anything edible, no doubt because of his time in the Everglades.

But back to Elsa. She and him had talked quite a bit when she arrived, mostly updates when it came to hunting, but also a few updates in their own lives. That changed as soon as they sat down to drink; however, at that point, Elsa had gone quiet, intently looking at him, a mix of confusion and curiosity on her face. He guessed she thought he didn’t notice, as he had yet to bring up the odd look she was giving. He quietly looked over his clothes, there wasn’t anything on them, and he had just checked his face before letting her in. He was beginning to get a bit concerned honestly.

“So, Elsa,” he said, breaking the silence.

Elsa seemed to snap back to reality, finally acknowledging him beyond the odd look she was giving, “Oh, yes, Jack? What is it?”

“Is something wrong?” he inquired, looking at her softly, “You’ve been looking at me strange ever since we sat down.”

Elsa looked at him blankly before replying, “The ring, where did you get it?”

Jack instinctively looked at his left ring finger, and smiled. He had completely forgotten about it, he was with Ted so often and no one he ever talked to never really questioned it, so it had legitimately slipped his mind. He honestly didn’t realize that it might have been what Elsa was talking about. He looked at Elsa as she took a sip of tea, “Oh, this? Ted and I are married now.”

Elsa just about spat out her tea, “Married?”

He grinned, “Yeah, about a month or two ago! Well, we’re not legally married, but I don’t really care.” 

Elsa took a moment to recover, “Well, that certainly caught me off-guard. But that still doesn’t answer the question, Jack. Where did you get the ring from? I must admit it looks really nice.”

He shook his head, “I don’t really know. Ted was the one who proposed, he found it somewhere in the Everglades. I’m not even sure it was meant to be a wedding ring originally, but it’s the thought that counts, you know?”

Elsa looked stunned, “Wait, Ted proposed? Get out mate.”

He chuckled a bit, “It’s true, right, Teddy Bear?”

From the kitchen, Ted gave an affirmative grumble.

He smiled, “Honestly, I was kinda caught off-guard by it too. Then again, he’s done it before, so I shouldn’t be surprised.”

When Ted was comfortable enough with Elsa, he had told him his partner’s history. She was understandably mortified at what had happened to him to turn him into what he was now, and was even more disgusted at the actions of her fellow hunters for capturing and hunting someone who was once human just like they were.

Elsa nodded, “Yeah, I suppose so.”

He gave a little laugh, “Our honeymoon was pretty nice. I managed to smuggle him over to Borneo.”

“Sounds nice,” Elsa replied. “But how did it… work?”

Jack cocked an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

Elsa gave an awkward look, “I mean, he’s nine feet tall, it must be hard for you to-”

Ted gave a grumble, signaling that dinner was ready. Thank god, that could have turned into a very awkward conversation. “He says dinner is ready.”

“Well okay then,” Elsa replied as the two of them got up and entered the kitchen, three plates with baked potatoes, green beans, and well-seasoned steak on the table.

Ted growled, proud of himself.

He gave his husband a kiss on his tendril as he sat down, “Gracias, Teddy Bear, you really outdid yourself this time.”

Elsa gave a small grin as she sat down, “It smells delicious. You caught yourself a good one, Jack. I’m happy for you.”

Jack blushed a bit as he dug into his steak, “Thanks Elsa, that really means a lot.”

[imkylotrash]

Golden

Pairing: Sky x reader

Requests: The reader is Stella’s sister but Sky is secretly in love with her and he confesses. Anonymous

and

Could you write where sky is with a princess of solaria (Stellas sister) and they attempt to keep it secret from Stella and set before the summer of the events on the fate the winx saga is set.

A/N I paired these request because they were so similar and would have the exact same plot line. Will be doing this to a couple of the requests since they’re so similar. 

“Free at last!” you exclaim as you walk out the doors of Alfea with Sky in tow. You’ve finally finished your last exam and now it’s time to just enjoy the summer. 

“So, what’s your plans then?” Sky asks propping his arm around your shoulders. There’s nothing new in this but you still get butterflies. At this point, it’s just a given whenever he touches you. 

“Oh, you know. Travelling through the realms, visiting all my rich friends. I may even buy a yacht just to pass the time.” It’s a bit of an inside joke between you and Sky. He knows you’ll have to return to Solaria and face the dragon. 

“What about you? Will you be alright?” You’re a little worried about leaving him here. Stella had decided to dump him just days before the exams once again proving that the girl had no regard for other people. Needless to say, you weren’t the biggest fan of your sister. She always tried to live up to your mother’s expectations and acted more than royally around school whereas you had decided that the disappointed frown your mother wore every time you saw her actually suited her face. 

“Yeah,” he says shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, “I’ll be fine. I have Silva.” It’s right then and there you decide that there’s a greater need for you here than hiding away back in Solaria. 

“You know, my mother is already profoundly disappointed in me. I don’t think it would make much of a difference if I were to stay.” Sky’s smile is brighter than the sun when he realises you’ll be staying right here with him. 

“Thank you,” he says hugging you tightly. He’s never been one to share him emotions easily but over the years you’ve learned to decipher his many facial expressions and there was just no way you would leave him right now. Your mother is as delighted as you expected when you tell her of your plans for the summer but you figure she’ll forgive you at some point. The way you see it, there’s a throne waiting for you back at Solaria and you want to enjoy freedom as long as you possibly can. Sometimes, you catch yourself wishing that Stella was the older sister. She’d be much more suited for the royal life but there’s a strict code of conduct when it comes to heirs and you’re the first born so the crown will eventually be placed on your head.  

“You won’t be returning with me?” Stella asks as she’s packing up her suitcase. Her tone in stern already setting you off. 

“I’ll be spending enough time there once I graduate.”

“Oh yes. The ever-repeating speech on how this is your moment of freedom and you won’t give it up for anything,” Stella mocks clearly upset to be facing mother alone. You feel a pang of guilt knowing what you’re sending Stella back to but the two of you have never been able to see eye to eye especially when it came to mother’s expectations of her daughters. 

“You’re welcome to stay here at Alfea if you’d like.” It’s an offer made to be polite because you know she’ll never accept it. 

“Please. Someone has to be responsible and return home. Our people look to the royal family for support. We can’t all pretend to be someone else.” 

“I’m not pretending, Stella. If I could give you the crown, I gladly would. If I had my way, I’d be just another fairy attending Alfea.” It’s a discussion you’ve had more than once and it’s always the same outcome. You don’t want the crown and Stella does but your mother would never allow the two of you to switch. Stella doesn’t say goodbye when she leaves and you’re okay with that. Instead you head out to find Sky. 

“Ready for the summer of your life?” you ask him and he smiles. It passes by too fast. The picnics out on the field, Silva training with you, walks in the forest at night. It’s nothing grand but it becomes the perfect summer on the final day when Sky pulls you aside as all the students start to arrive. 

“I have to tell you something. I’ve been wanting to all summer but I was scared I might ruin it.” Your heart skips a beat but you tell yourself that it’s probably not what you think it is. Rather than making assumptions, you stay quiet waiting for him to speak. 

“When this summer started, I thought I’d spend it alone and heartbroken over Stella but then you stayed. And I know it seems insane since you’re Stella’s sister, but I just can’t help but feel the way I do around you,” he smiles. It’s too good to be true. There has to be some kind of catch or problem in your way but right now everything feels perfect. You carefully take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his and Sky’s cheeks turn red. He’s always so gentle and kind so you know you’ll have to make the first move. As you stare into his eyes, you notice little specks of green mixed with the blue. You finally close your eyes, lean in and kiss him. Something you’ve wanted to do since you laid eyes on him the first time. You pull away with a huge smile plastered on your face thinking this moment is perfect and then you spot her. 

“Stella.” Thankfully, she hasn’t seen you but it’s only a matter of time before she’ll spot the two of you. Hand in his, you drag him with you behind a tree keeping you out of sight. 

“Of all the things I imagined you’d say after our first kiss, Stella wasn’t one of them.” He’s teasing you but you feel horrible. Despite your many differences, you do care about Stella and it would kill her to know that you’re dating her ex-boyfriend. You’re not even sure if she’s properly done with him or not and just thinking about her finding out about the two of you is enough to make your skin crawl. 

“She can’t know,” you plead looking into his eyes. He has to understand the importance of it. She’s not strong enough mentally to handle this. 

“Hey, relax,” he says cupping your cheeks, “how about we keep it to ourselves until we know what this is?” You know you don’t want to give him up but you don’t want to hurt Stella. His offer gives you him and keeps Stella blissfully unaware of the relationship which is good enough for you. 

“Okay. Just you and me, no one else can know.” 

“Please just kiss me,” he whispers leaning in and you don’t know how you could ever refuse him. Over the next few weeks, you and Sky have stolen moments between classes and nights spent wrapped in each other’s arms. You know you shouldn’t but you love him. One night you whisper it when you think he’s sleeping and he almost gives you a heart attack when he whispers it back. 

“I thought you were sleeping,” you whisper-yell trying to hide your face in his chest. 

“You’ve been turning around every two seconds. It’s impossible to fall asleep,” he chuckles wrapping his arms tightly around you. 

“I’m sorry, I have a lot on my mind,” you sigh. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks turning on the lamp by his bedside table. It showers Sky in a golden light making him look more angelic than human. It’s not fair how some people look so beautiful without even trying. 

“Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know where to start,” you reply sitting up and leaning your back against the wall. You want to tell Stella so you can be done with sneaking around. As much fun as it’s been, you’re getting tired of watching Stella try to flirt with him because she decided he was good enough after all. Of course, he’s been turning her down but it just doesn’t seem to click with her. But you also know it’s a risk telling her since she’s not likely to congratulate you. 

“I guess I’m just tired of sneaking around,” you finally say. He signals for you to lay down with him again and you have no reservation as you crawl into his arms. 

“I’m ready for it when you are. Frankly, I just want to tell everyone you’re mine so the boys leave you alone.” 

“Please, you literally have a whole fan club waiting for you at every corner giggling and blushing if you even look in their direction.” Sky has become very popular now that he appears single and you can’t blame them. He is ridiculously handsome and more importantly, he’s kind and patient and warm. Right about now, he’s your favourite person in the whole world. 

“I do not,” he protests but even he knows it is the truth. His face is serious when he says: “Maybe we should tell her. I know you wanted to protect her but we can’t hide it forever. You’re expected to marry at some point and so am I.” 

“I know. I know. I just feel like a horrible sister.” This feeling of guilt comes as a surprise. You’ve never been that close but you don’t want to be the reason she’s hurting. 

“You’re not a horrible sister. Everything you’ve done these past few weeks has been to make sure she didn’t get hurt. It’s not selfish to want to be happy, Y/N.” But that’s just it. You’re already far too aware of your own happiness. It’s the reason you always stay away from Solaria and the expectations of the crown. It’s why you’re lying in bed with Sky right now. You've always put your own happiness first and you’ve never had a problem with it until now. 

“I’ll talk to her first thing in the morning then.” He kisses you one last time before you both fall asleep. You wake up to a note from him informing you that Silva had added a morning practice which meant you had no reason not to march into Stella’s room right now and tell her about you and Sky. 

“Can I talk to you?” you ask entering Stella’s bedroom. 

“If you must,” she replies not even bothering to look at you. 

“I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to say it. I’m dating Sky,” you force yourself to keep going even as she goes completely rigid, “and I have been for a while now. I’ve kept it a secret because I never meant for this to happen and I didn’t want to hurt you. But it’s getting serious now and I needed you to know. I promise I’d never ever go for him if I didn’t have feelings for him.” She’s quiet for so long you’re worried she might just never speak to you again. 

“I’m not happy you kept it from me but I suppose if he has to date someone else, it wouldn’t be horrible if it was you.” Relief floods your body as you realise that she’s not breaking and she doesn’t hate you. 

“Thank you.” This is about as heartfelt as it’ll ever be between you and Stella. You share a moment locking eyes with each other before she turns her back to you. 

“I’m going to go then,” you say slowly backing towards the door. Stella doesn’t say anymore but the fact that you’re still breathing is a much better reaction than you’d dared hope for. Immediately after you head to the training grounds to find Sky. Once you spot him, you run right into his arms and he lifts you from the ground. 

“I love you,” you say kissing him in front of everyone. It’s so freeing to know that the secret is out. 

“I love you too.”

[starshipsofstarlord]

First things First | Jack Kline & Peter Parker

Summary; Peter sees his ex back in town. Last time she was with her brothers, but this time, she has another companion. His name is Jack Kline, and he is her current boyfriend.

Warnings; some angst, jealousy, a bit of trash talk, smidge of violence, one swear word

“You’re back then.” Peter noticed, following you as you walked through the school halls, your head down as you attempted to ignore him. But however, you knew that you couldn’t pretend he wasn’t there forever, and so you softly sighed.

Last time, you hadn’t been in town too long, only a few weeks, cases were sprouting up left right and centre in Queens, and that was enough time for a relationship to briefly brew between the pair of you.

However, when the entourage of hunts came to an end, it had only been fair to cut sweet Peter loose, you hadn’t planned to return in any soon time. And here you were, a year in a half later, back in his hometown.

“You’re eyes are quite inquisitive, Parker, or do you need to ask me to put rock salt on my skin to prove that I’m not a ghost?” You barked back, which earnt yourself a confused frown.

“What?” He asked in reply, confused by your wording.

“Never mind, you wouldn’t get it.” You dismissed, having already had the intel and advice from your brothers that two different worlds didn’t mix.

Peter was but a boy, a smart one, but for all that you were aware, he lived a mundane life. He was bullied at school, but he had a couple of friends, Ned and MJ.

MJ. She had liked Peter before you had disappeared in the impala, it wouldn’t be a surprise if the pair were together now. He had wanted to forget you, for causing him so much pain, he deserved to move on, as you had.

“What I got was that you told me you loved me, and then you went with the wind, and didn’t look back, not once.” He bit back, his statement making your body feel heavy.

It was guilt, a familiar feeling for a hunter. It often came when a life was lost by the life of a monster, and this time, it had been the same. You had taken away the happiness from your own life, you were the beast that ripped out someone’s heart.

“I did, but that doesn’t matter anymore Pete, I’m in love with somebody else. There’s nothing that I am entailed from hiding from him, no secrets, I can be myself with him.” You pursed your lips, relieved that you had got that off your chest.

“You never had to have secrets! Your family business is what dragged us down in the first place, you feel the need to follow your brothers around the world, and for what? To end up alone and unloved?”

“I love her.” Jack entered the hallway, he had been at the front office, asking about the plumbing, he said he heard a noise. It was what the victim had said before he died, and so the spawn of Lucifer was now questioning it.

Sam and Dean were downtown, at some bar, it had been where the victim had been, with a fake id, before his body had been found in the school bathroom. This left the group of you spread out, and operating around the city, wanting to find the creature that had ended the boy’s life.

Jack’s voice had been friendly, as though he were informing Peter of your relationship status. Neither of them knew each other, so he found no harm in letting the public know of your intimate bond.

The nephilim was most often than not a free speaker, he found no foul in letting his mouth run. He was so innocent, so pure, and perfect, you were pleased that you hadn’t tainted him nor gained his spite like you had with Peter.

“Jack, this is Peter. I met him last time I was around here. Peter, this is Jack, my boyfriend.” It was an awkward introduction, you held your hands together, watching as Jack held out his hand for your ex to shake.

Peter hesitantly shook Jack’s hand, lightly glaring at the boy. “It’s nice to meet a friend of y/n’s, not many that she has are her age.”

“Thanks for that Jack.” You laughed lightly, holding sweetly onto his arm, as to ensure him that he had done nothing wrong.

“We’re not friends.” Peter corrected him, squinting at you. “She doesn’t like the idea of any relationship with me, so she can pass on friendship.” He gave you one last look, before he walked away.

“Hi.” Jack saw your ‘friend’ in the hall, whilst you were questioning some other students. Peter reluctantly turned, going face to face with your boyfriend and partner in justifying crime.

“Hey.” His head briefly leant back, curious as to why the new boy was speaking to him. “Jack, right?”

“Yes, that is my name.” Jack nodded with a smile, the adorable gap in his teeth presenting itself clearly. “Have you felt any cold spots here recently, or smelt sulphur by any change?”

His question made Peter frown, he gulped and thought before he decided to answer. “I don’t know why your going around asking questions, but I also do not know why you’re dating y/n. She’ll break your heart, it’s what she does.”

“The two of you don’t sound like very good friends.” He speculated, tilting his head like a puppy dog, his bright eyes filled with curiosity.

“We weren’t just friends Jack, I’m surprised she didn’t tell you about me. Maybe there was a reason for that, you should ask her.” Peter crossed his arms, taking note of how he seemed to have angered the other boy.

The son of Lucifer was inhaling and exhaling through his nostrils, he was attempting to remain calm. But he couldn’t, his eyes seared with their golden pigment, and upon witnessing, Peter’s eyes widened and he was fast to sling webbing towards the mutant.

But it had no affect, not as Jack’s mouth opened, and a scream on another wavelength , which happened to throw the spider man backwards into the row of lockers. This was not normal, and Peter worried for the reason that you had the company of such a creature.

“What the hell are you?” Peter asked, wanting an answer so he could figure out a way to defeat him.

“I’m someone that loves y/n very much. Don’t worry, we won’t be in town much longer.” And with that, the strange and peculiar being walked away, leaving Peter stunned. For once, he wasn’t sure how he would improvise.

“You know the boy’s toilets are for guys, right?” Peter asked later in the day, as he watched you, whom was drenched in water, leave said restroom.

“I am more than aware, thankyou for that reminder Peter.” Each footstep dripped water upon the floor. That ghost had been a bitch to send off, but to your relief, you had done so.

“What are you doing here, really?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m going to be leaving tonight, I’ll be all out of your hair.” You spoke, trying to remain calm with your previous partner. “Have you seen Jack?”

“About that...” he noticed how you furrowed your brow with his words, and realised it would be better to get straight to the point. “He’s not normal, there’s something different about him. He’s dangerous.”

“I guess you witnessed something... supernatural?” He slowly nodded his head, thinking about how it could be considered as such. “Jack, he’s a nephilim, half angel, half human. That’s why I can’t stick around, my life is messy, and I have a duty to save people, you understand that, right?”

“Why would I understand that?” He hesitated, his voice stepping over his words in a worried stutter. “Angels?!” He repeated.

“Yeah, not every takes lightly to the news, and a bit of information; the majority are dicks.” You laughed, shoving your hands in your soggy pockets. “You really think I didn’t have a clue that I was dating a spiderman? I investigate abnormal occurrences for a living, it was quite easy to notice something was different about you.”

“So you look into things like cold spots and sulphur smells?” He remembered that was what Jack had mentioned earlier. Perhaps the possibility of angels wasn’t half crazy, the universe was expanding. It was certainly out there, but so was a talking, moving tree that enjoyed digital games and was experiencing puberty.

“Exactly.” You smiled, looking into his deep brown eyes, and finding some kind of peace between the pair of you.

“I think I saw Jack in the library.” He scratched the back of his neck, deciding to be a bigger person and give into the planet’s order.

“Thanks, see ya around Parker.” That expression you gave him shouldn’t have made him feel so giddy, he knew that this was another goodbye you were sending him. But the relief on your faces was beautiful.

You walked momentarily backwards, and he raised his hand in a signalled send off. He hoped that one day, he would see you again, maybe even with Blade as he killed vampires. Who knew?

One thing he was aware of was that you were happy with Jack, and that the two of you shared a life. You had an even amount of knowledge between you, and as much as Peter hated to admit it, you weren’t bound to leave the nephilim any time soon.

[skinsharpenedteeth]

RNM After Dark, Day 2!

Today's story is... different. Medical kink, lab sex, milking machines, barebacking, comeplay... it's a real mixed bag. Definitely rated Explicit. 6883 Words.

Here's a link to the story on AO3!

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"Compromised by a Foreign Body"

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Alex knew the way they were going about it was wrong. No matter how many times his father told him the aliens were nothing more than violent, seditious predators from another world, it never sat right. But, when it was time to do his duty, Alex had stepped into line. He’d even managed to pull his best friend, Liz Ortecho, into working in the biomedical lab for Project Shepherd. Being a Manes meant that even in what should be a strict, military hierarchy, Alex was a prince. So he made his own job, helped out where he wanted, and tried to not think about the things he’d done or seen when he went home at night.

“Alex, can you help me with the specimen extraction this week? I’m really behind on some notations from last week’s experiments. It would be a great help to me,” Liz said one afternoon. He’d been aimless all day, simply walking around the base to look busy but without an actual task. His stomach clenched, however, at the request. Specimen extraction brought him into very close contact with aliens, and there was one whose eyes never seemed to stay on the ground where they belonged. There was one whose eyes followed him, seeming to see through his fatigues and tracing every line of his body underneath.

“The females and males?” Alex asked, clearing his throat to get rid of his nerves. Liz gave him a curious look at the show of anxiety. She knew him well. She could tell this wasn’t something he wanted to do.

“Just the males. I just need a semen specimen. We’re seeing what happens if we crossbreed them with human female eggs and how that effects the DNA and RNA structures of any resulting hybrids. Just grab the three youngest and put them in the collection rooms. One sample from each should be plenty,” Liz went on, already returning to her microscope slides and file notations. Alex made sure to keep his face neutral as she glanced up to studied him while giving her instructions. He nodded shortly and left the lab, already mentally listing the tasks he’d need to perform in order to do a collection.

Alex had been given basic medical training when he’d been taken on at Project Shepherd. It was explained that at any point, one of their captives might have to be taken down with an injection if brute force was inadvisable. He’d also received extensive hand-to-hand combat training. Alex had found it interesting that de-escalation techniques hadn’t been taught as part of his training before coming onto the base. So far he’d only had to use the bare minimum of force to get his job done. He’d turned into something of a Jack-of-all-trades, however, when it came to medical or scientific technical procedures.

First, he stopped by the captive holding area and signaled his brother Flint over from the guard station. Flint gave him an annoyed scowl, but came over to where Alex was waiting.

“What’s up?” Flint asked, always informal to Alex by way of blood. If their father had seen, Flint would’ve been disciplined. Alex, though younger, outranked Flint and therefore should always be treated with the respect of a superior officer. Alex didn’t care as much. Flint was a stooge and would never be more than a glorified prison guard. His pantomimed respect wasn’t needed for Alex to know he was above him. But Alex knew if their father saw Flint being too familiar at work, he’d chastise him with a fist.

“I need male captives Max, Michael, and Noah to specimen collection,” Alex informed Flint formally. Flint gave him a speculative grin, but didn’t say anything. He nodded and went back to the guard desk to inform the other two soldiers on duty. Alex saw them share a glance and chuckle as Alex started towards the pharmacy. His next task was to pick up some Tri-Mix injection and then to make sure a few rooms were set up with the correct equipment for the procedure.

Alex tried to keep his mind on the business at hand. The laughing of the other soldiers needled at him in the back of his mind. He’d done this job a few times, but he didn’t take any pleasure from it. If the other guys could see what was involved in the process, maybe they’d realize that it wasn’t as sexy a scenario as they imagined. Maybe if Alex wasn’t gay, it wouldn’t have been an issue at all. Maybe if the aliens looked more… well… alien and not just like humans, it could’ve just been an abstract curiosity, a shitty work detail. They would’ve just commiserated with him for drawing the short straw. But he was gay, and they didn’t understand what happened behind the closed doors of the extraction rooms and these three aliens in particular were very attractive by human standards. He shuddered to imagine what deprived fantasies they’d built around him and the aliens. This only happened, of course, when he had to work with the males.

He made his way to the long hallway of rooms they used for technical procedures. Alex looked through the monitors over the tech’s shoulder at the monitoring station. Only one room was in use currently, and it looked like an autopsy was taking place. Alex grimaced inwardly to think they’d lost another alien to the ravages of time.

“Anything scheduled in rooms 5, 7, or 9 for the next hour?” Alex asked the monitor tech quietly. The soldier blinked up at him, as if just now aware someone else was in the small room with him. He cleared his throat and picked up the scheduling clipboard from the corner of his desk. Alex’s eyes strayed back to the occupied room, and he watched with sick fascination as things were taken out of the alien’s abdomen and loaded into bowls.

“Uh, looks like they’re free. Need to book ‘em, sir?” the young soldier asked, remembering protocol at the last moment.

“Yeah. Captain Alex Manes. Max, Michael, and Noah are being brought in for specimen extraction,” Alex told the soldier for his notes. He nodded and wrote down the details on his paper copy of the schedule. He’d type it into the online schedule later as well as any observational notes. With a last glance towards the wall of screens, Alex left the room and went to get the equipment cases out of storage.

Each case held a milking machine which included a cylinder with a latex liner, a connector hose, and a suction machine. Alex placed one in each room and plugged in the power supply to the suction machine so it could start warming up. He rifled through the cabinets that lined each room’s walls and found the lubricant, prostate stimulation equipment, and massage wands. He’d never needed to use the extras, but something about their presence made him feel like he was actually there to do a job. The machines would do most of the work. He was really just there to monitor and make sure the samples were collected and labeled correctly for Liz.

As he was just double-checking all his equipment, Dr. Valenti walked into the room he was in. Alex turned and eyed his ex-best friend warily. Kyle had been making strides towards repairing their friendship, but Alex was still skeptical.

“Hey man. Liz said you were doing a collection. I brought you the Tri-Mix injections. Mind if I help out?” Kyle asked, showing him the preloaded injection pens.

“Sure, I guess. There’s not much to do. Just inject them, sleeve them, turn on the milkers, and go get a cup of coffee until the sensors go off,” Alex said flippantly.

“You don’t do any manual or electrical stimulation before you sleeve them?” Kyle asked, sounding a bit shocked. Alex tried to shrug nonchalantly. He didn’t want to admit that manual and electrical stimulation felt like he was crossing a line somehow. He logically knew these were not humans with human feelings or cultural constructs about consent, but in his own mind it was a step too far. The injection made it medical, but if he actually started probing and touching… then it might just be what those soldiers at the containment area thought it was. Kyle must’ve read his thoughts, because he clapped Alex on the shoulder and gave him a patronizing grin.

“You get better samples if you stim them. I can show you on one if you like? Just so you can see it’s not what you think it is,” Kyle offered, squeezing Alex’s shoulder affectionately. Alex absolutely did not want to see… except that he did. He was going to hell for it, but he was curious. In fact, he was fucking fascinated, and he hated himself for it.

“I mean, if you’ve got the time?” Alex said, trying to give Kyle an out.

“Hey, what’s the joke about doctors and always being busy except they’re really golfing? Think of this as my golf break. I’m getting out of the clinic and getting to do something fun for a little while,” Kyle said with a laugh.

As if on cue, the sound of wheels in the hallway alerted them that the captives had arrived. Alex turned to see two men rolling in Max, the largest physically of their aliens, already naked and strapped to a gurney, gag in his mouth (to protect him from biting his tongue while coming off any medications used during the procedure). Alex felt a quick flash of rage that they hadn’t left him clothed or thrown a blanket over him. The guards placed his gurney in the middle of the room, locked the wheels, saluted to Alex and Kyle before they left. Alex watched Kyle’s eyes rove up and down Max’s body covetously. Max had been gagged and given a mild, but quickly dissipating sedative. Alex could tell that he was relatively aware of where he was, but couldn’t fight the bonds. He hardly did, even when the sedative wore off.

“Here, let’s reposition him a little. If we’re going to stim him, I need to have better access to his body. Did the guards flush their systems before they brought them up?” Kyle asked, already unstrapping one of Max’s legs. He reached under the gurney and pulled out a heel stirrup that he gently placed Max’s foot in before re-securing him for safety. He did the same with Max’s other leg, spreading him wide.

“Uh….,” Alex started, completely out of his depth. He looked up at Max who met his eyes and nodded, color infusing his cheeks like a blush. Kyle was finishing with the other foot when Alex finally answered. “Yeah. They did.”

“Good. That means I don’t have to,” Kyle replied with a laugh. He was transforming the gurney from a long bed into practically a chair in front of Alex’s eyes. Alex had no idea the gurneys had so many bells and whistles on them. With his legs spread wide, hips strapped down to the table, and naked, Max looked utterly exposed to them. Kyle was leaning over Max’s upper body, using a pen light to check his responses. “God, the meds they have now are remarkable. He’s already becoming cognizant again!”

“Yeah, they come to pretty quick,” Alex remarked dryly while he watched Kyle do a quick examination, checking reflexes.

"Let's get some gloves on and I'll show you what I mean about the manual stimulation. If he doesn't react, we can always give him the Tri-Mix, but this can sometimes remove the need to even use it," Kyle explained, moving over to the instrument cart and pulling out two pairs of non-latex gloves. He and Alex snapped them on and Kyle rolled the instrument cart over to beside the table. He grabbed a rolling stool that had been left in the corner of the room from another procedure and sat himself down between Max's spread legs. Alex could see Max's confusion as he lifted his head to try and see what Kyle was doing.

"Okay so," Kyle started, drawing Alex's attention back from Max's dark eyes to where he was covering two fingers in a copious amount of lubricant. Alex watched as he used the non-lubricated hand to spread Max's ass cheeks and expose his dusky, puckered hole. Max's leg muscles flexed against their restraints at the feeling. "Just like with human males, these guys have got something like a prostate. You'd stim it the same way you would for a human."

"I usually like my partners to be hard before I go sticking things into their asses," Alex mumbled, trying for a joking tone. Kyle beamed up at him.

"That would be preferable. But if that's the problem, you can stimulate the prostate first and the penis should start getting erect after. Have you worked with these captives before? Do you know if this one is able to get hard without the injection?" Kyle asked. He still held Max's cheeks open, exposing him as he carried on his conversation with Alex. Alex risked a glance up to see that Max was staring resolutely at the ceiling, flushed but stoic to his treatment. Alex wished they were allowed to speak with the captives and that they didn't have to stay gagged when out of confinement. He'd just ask Max if getting hard was an issue, or if it was just the degradation of being used as a lab rat that kept him flaccid.

"I don't know. Like I said, I've never tried to stim them before suctioning. Max has never come in already hard, but his body responds well to the Tri-Fix," Alex replied, trying to ignore the fine tremors he could see in Max's stomach muscles. Kyle was rubbing a thumb in contemplative circles over Max’s hole, spreading the lube from his fingers and almost seeming unaware of what he was doing as he and Alex talked.

"I bet he can! He's a hell of a specimen. Before we try the prostate, let's see if he responds to some other stimulation," Kyle said with an excited clap. He stood up abruptly and walked to the side of the table. Alex stood on the other side, promising himself he would be polite and watch but wouldn't participate. Kyle took his time looking over Max's physique. In a familiar gesture, he set his hands high on Max's chest.

"Hey handsome," Kyle crooned. He slowly rubbed his hands up and down Max's chest, trailing his fingers lightly over the skin. Max darted his eyes to Alex in obvious confusion and alarm. Kyle followed his gaze. "Ignore him. I'm going to take care of you today."

Alex let his eyes slip away and back down to Kyle's hands. They smoothed over Max's skin, down over his ribs and stomach, then back up so his thumbs could tease lightly over Max's dark pink nipples. Max shifted under Kyle's attention.

"You've got to convince the blood to come up to the surface of the skin," Kyle murmured to Alex while he kept eye contact with Max. Kyle started to rub over Max's nipples more firmly, stroking over the tightening nubs. Pleased with their erectness, he hummed thoughtfully before trailing his hands down to rest on Max’s hipbones. Alex noticed the uptick in Kyle’s breathing and dilation in his eyes as he moved one hand to cup Max’s cock. He rocked the heel of his hand gently before circling his thumb and first finger around the shaft and stroking. Max’s body started to respond to the attention, his cock plumping up in Kyle’s grip as he kept stroking over him smoothly.

“That’s it,” Kyle cooed encouragingly. Max shifted under him as much as he could, head pressed back against the gurney and staring resolutely towards the ceiling. His face was flushed and the red stain seemed to be moving down towards his chest the harder he got. Alex jumped when a hand came into his view suddenly. “Put some more lube on my fingers.”

Alex obeyed Kyle’s order and watched him push one slick finger into Max’s hole, making the alien jump in surprise. Expertly, Kyle crooked his finger and within a few searching thrusts was able to locate Max’s prostate. Alex glanced up to check Max’s cock and was surprised to find him almost painfully engorged. Kyle followed his line of sight and smiled, turning to look at Alex triumphantly.

“Told you man, nothing to it. Hand me the suction canister and we’ll get him hooked up and pumping.” Alex shuddered at the excitement in Kyle’s voice, the eagerness, but he did was he was asked. As soon as the canister was lowered over Max’s cock, cool plastic resting against his belly, Kyle flipped a switch to began low suction. Max’s cock jerked in response to the tight pressure build and release of the machine, and Alex heard a low groan escape from behind his gag. Kyle had managed to work two fingers into his hole while Alex had watched the machine begin its work and was thrusting them in time with the machine. A glance further down and Alex could see the solid outline of Kyle’s own cock straining against his scrub pants.

“Uh, I’m going to go get started on one of the other captives,” Alex spoke up, feeling awkward at continuing to stand by the scene in front of him. Kyle gave him a friendly smile, fingers and wrist still working away.

“Sure, go do Michael. Noah, from what I understand, is a tougher case and I’d like to commit my full attention to him. After this, we can go do lunch if you want?” Kyle offered easily. Alex nodded and made a non-committal sound before turning and quickly exiting the room. He wasn’t fast enough to not hear Kyle murmuring softly to Max before he left. “You’re doing so good, Max. Look at these balls, man. You’re going to give up a big load for us today, huh?”

Alex wished he could bleach his brain.

He quickly closed the door behind him and moved towards the room he knew Michael to be in. He’d seen Michael around the compound. He was hard to miss with his curls, sharp smile, and sad eyes. Alex had tried to ignore him, but he found himself more and more aware of him each time they crossed paths. When he entered the exam room to find him naked and conscious, strapped and gagged the same as Max on the gurney, he flushed hot with a mix of embarrassment and want. He shut the door quietly behind him.

“Hey Michael,” Alex greeted him quietly. Michael’s eyes roved up and down his body, undressing him, challenging him despite his position. Feeling exposed, Alex moved towards the gurney slowly. The closer he got, the more of Michael’s body he could see. His cock was nestled serenely against his balls, a short, dark thatch of hair surrounding his groin and leading up his stomach and over his chest. Alex wanted to run his fingers through the hair, tangle himself in it, bury his face against it… but he knew that was inappropriate. No matter how attractive he found him, the alien was not in any position to consent to anything, and Alex knew it. He was still tempted, however.

To try to hide the awkwardness he was feeling, Alex busied himself with positioning the cart next to the gurney. He gloved up and reached for the lube, immediately dropping it when Michael cleared his throat next to him. The bottle clattered loudly on the metal cart, knocking the milking canister onto the ground. Alex fumbled to try to catch it before it rolled too far away. A knock sounded at the door and one of the guard’s voices came through.

“You okay, sir?”

“I’m fine!” Alex called back, face flaming in embarrassment. He looked at Michael who gave him a smug and superior grin around the obstruction in his mouth. Alex set the canister back on the table and bent over Michael to hiss at him. “Don’t be a dick!”

Michael gave him a raised eyebrow in response as if to say ‘who, me?’

“Yes, you,” Alex snapped. He moved back over to the table and picked up the lube again. Again, Michael pointedly cleared his throat. Alex abruptly turned to look at him, eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What?!”

Michael just looked at him for a moment, waiting for him to catch up. With a huff, Alex moved to block the view of the camera and loosened the gag enough to slide it out of Michael’s mouth. He watched Michael moved his jaw around and swallow convulsively a few times, resisting the urge to get him some water, while he waited for Michael to speak.

“What do you want, Michael?” Alex asked, trying to put steel into his voice to cow Michael’s nonchalant, almost playful attitude.

“I was going to say, you could at least buy me dinner before you start sticking probes into me,” Michael replied, his voice rough but steady. Alex stared at him incredulously.

“Are you trying to flirt with me?” he asked, unable to stop himself. Shock was an adequate description for how he was feeling about this turn of events.

“No. I am flirting with you, private,” Michael replied, giving Alex another once over before continuing. “How am I doing?”

“This is the least sexy situation I could possibly imagine being flirted with in,” Alex answered flatly.

“Well, you refuse to come visit me in my cell, so this is what I’ve got to work with. Besides, you’re about to have to get me hard enough to spurt for science. Maybe you should work on your bedside manner.” Alex stared down at Michael on the table. His eyes moved down to his exposed cock, still flaccid, and then over to the milking machine on the table. His ears felt warm and he was sure he was blushing.

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem. After all, I could always just inject you with Tri-Fix if you don’t want to get hard naturally,” Alex countered, trying not to let how flustered he was feeling show through in his voice. Michael gave him a frankly filthy grin in response.

“With the right stimulation, I’ve never had a problem getting hard naturally. Besides, have you ever had one of those tubes on your dick before?” Michael whistled low in apparent appreciation. “Science is wonderful. I’m all for science.”

“No, I’ve never--” Alex started, affronted at the mere idea that he would use government property for his own pleasure that way.

“Maybe you should climb up here and give it a try….” Michael suggested in a conspiratorial tone.

“There’s no way. There are cameras in here,” Alex protested, wondering why he wasn’t shoving the gag back in Michael’s mouth and getting on with the sample collection.

“I can fix that, ya know. These drugs they have us on dull my powers quite a bit, but I’m still pretty good at shorting out electronics when I need to,” Michael countered. He rushed on as Alex opened his mouth to respond. “You can keep me tied down. You can, uh… manually… collect your sample for the lab from me and take a spin on the suck tube at the same time.”

“I could never…” Alex protested weakly. He hated that he was even considering it. He didn’t know what Michael’s plan was, but he was pretty sure getting his dick sucked by a robot was not acceptable protocol under any circumstances.

“You can gag me again if you want to keep me quiet,” Michael said, voice almost a purr. Alex contemplated the idea, eyes straying from Michael to the milking canister and then surreptitiously up towards where the cameras were. Curiosity was getting the best of him. Curiosity and hormones. This close he could smell the petrichor and salt scent of Michael’s skin and make out the green flecks hidden amongst the amber of his eyes.

“If you can take out the cameras…” Alex started, but before he could finish he heard a faint cry of dismay from the observation room. Panicking, Alex shoved the gag back into Michael’s mouth and hoped to God it hadn’t been visibly out on the video. A second later, one of the monitor techs came into the room looking thunderous.

“Everything okay?” Alex asked the tech who had grabbed a chair and angrily shoved it into a corner. He started to climb up onto the seat, his eyes trained on the small dome on the ceiling that held the camera.

“This fucking piece of shit. Always shorts out on me. Goddamnit,” he cursed, removing the protective dome to look at the wiring beneath. He cursed again and hopped down, coming over to stand in front of Alex. “I’m going to have to replace the whole thing. Something major burned up. Do you want to postpone this procedure or--”

“No!” Alex cut in, his voice sharply cutting off the tech. The tech gave him a wide-eyed look. “I just… I’m not going to have time later. Look, he’s secured down. There are guards outside the door. I’ll be fine. He’s not going to cause me any trouble, will you?”

Alex directed the last question at Guerin who looked between him and the tech and lolled his head as if he were still slightly dopey. The tech squinted at him, but seemed to take the act at face value.

“Fine. Just give me a heads-up when you’re done so I can get in here. And don’t fucking undo any of those straps, got it? They’re there for your protection!” Alex gave him a grave nod and the tech turned and strode out of the room. As soon as the door snicked shut behind him, Alex turned and stared wide-eyed at an obviously unrepentant Michael. Alex removed his gag again, bending close to his ear before speaking.

"If you tell anyone about this, I will have you thrown into solitary for a week," Alex threatened in a low voice. It felt empty because he knew if Michael told anyone, his father would find him and put him in a hole in the ground. There was something about Michael's offer though… a feeling between them that made Alex sure the risk would pay out.

"I won't tell," Michael replied quietly. There was a sadness in his voice that pierced Alex's heart and he moved to be able to see Michael's eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment, each searching for something needed but fragile and better left silent between them. Alex ended their silent back and forth by bending down and pressing their lips together. It was sweet and chaste, a seal for their understanding, and when he pulled back he felt like their bargain was solidly struck. Quietly, Alex moved the extra chair from the corner under the broken camera and wedged it under the doorknob. When he turned back to face Michael, he immediately began to unbutton his shirt enough to pull it and his undershirt off over his head. He leaned against the table to tackle his boots, pants, and prosthesis. With an embarrassing lack of grace, Alex proceeded to climb onto the gurney and straddle Michael's thighs.

Michael's eyes were wide and darkened with lust as they scanned over Alex’s naked body. He looked hungry in a way Alex was all too familiar with. Alex noted to his smug relief that Michael’s cock had gotten half hard at his striptease and was growing firmer beneath him. Without a word, Alex reached over and grabbed the lube bottle, squeezing some into his palm before slicking Michael's cock with it. The friction made Michael groan quietly, his eyes fluttering shut as Alex stroked him with a firm hand and brought him to full hardness. Alex’s own cock was beginning to throb and ache with neglect, but he didn't want to touch himself too soon. The risk of the situation was turning him on almost as much as Michael beneath him, his hips flexing into Alex’s grip in aborted thrusts.

Alex let go of Michael and lifted onto his knees. Keeping eye contact with Michael, he took his still slick hand and reached behind himself to push two fingers into his hole. It was almost too much too soon, but Alex liked the burn and needed this part to go quick. He didn’t realize his eyes had slipped shut, unable to concentrate on anything but the stretch and pressure of his digits as he rocked his hips back and twisted his fingers to make the stretch go faster.

"Oh shit," Michael breathes out beneath him. Alex opened his eyes and pinned Michael with a hard stare before swooping down to kiss him again. This kiss wasn't sweet. It wasn't chaste or simple. Alex licked at the seam of Michael's mouth once and barely gaves the other man time to accept him before he was pushing his way in. If Michael was hungry, Alex was fucking starving. Not that he’d gotten a taste, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop.

Michael moaned into their kisses, his body shifting restlessly, claiming as much movement as he could against the restraints.

"Shhhh," Alex warned, breaking their kiss. He shuffled forward enough to be able to reach behind himself and grasp Michael's cock. Goosebumps broke out over his skin as he pressed the blunt tip to his wet hole. Biting his lip, Alex forced his body to relax and accept Michael's generous girth. It was almost too much and after a few slow drags where he only managed to shove a few inches at a time into himself, Alex pulled off and added more lube. The next time he pushed down, it was like his body just accepted Michael and made room accordingly. Both he and Michael let out harsh, gutted breathes when Alex managed to fully sheath Michael inside him.

"Fucking christ," Alex groaned, trying to stay quiet but already feeling his body scream for him to start fucking himself stupid on the perfect cock stuffed in him. Beneath him, eyes squeezed shut, Michael nodded and Alex watched as his hands and fingers flexed in an echo of Alex's own need to move. Slowly, Alex began to rock his hips and get his first exquisite taste of the pull and push of Michael's cock lighting up his insides. Wrapping a hand around his cock, Alex noted how wet and messy his shaft was from the leaking precum drooling out of the tip. He used that wetness to ease the way as he stroked himself lightly in time with the undulations of his hips.

"Please," Michael gasped out beneath him. "Oh fuck, please."

Alex knew what he wanted, wanted it himself, but also knew they made a plan. Carefully, he reached over to the instrument table and picked up the plastic cylinder end of the milking machine. Inside it was a PVC sleeve that molded itself around the recipient's penis once the suction was started. Then, according to the dials on the machine, the sleeve would go taut and relax with a rhythmic click and hiss, effectually sucking off the wearer until he blew his load and the sample collection sensor went off. The load would then be scraped from the inside of the sleeve and collected into a tube to be given to the lab. Alex knew all of that, had the technical knowledge down pat in his brain, but was unprepared for the foreign feeling of sliding his own cock into the smooth, cool fabric of the milker cylinder. With a barely trembling hand, he pressed the ‘on’ switch and waited for the first pull.

He didn't know what he’d been led to expect, but it wasn't the vice-like, fluid pressure that made his hips hitch forward instinctively to get more of that tight clutching feeling. Alex felt a moan get dragged past his lips, echoed by Michael as he began to fuck forward against the milker and then back onto Michael's cock.

"Oh god," Alex moaned brokenly, curling forward over the cylinder in helpless abandon. The angle pressed Michael's cock hard against his prostate, and Alex indulged himself in a few shallow thrusts that brushed the head of Michael's cock against that spot over and over. His body felt like it was getting expertly rung out, and he now understood why there wasn't more of a revolt against the collection process by the alien captives. They were getting an expert blow job by a robot on the government's dime.

When Alex could drag his eyes open, he looked down and saw his own helpless pleasure echoed on Michael's face. His lips were parted in an "oh" of surprise, eyebrows drawn together like he wasn't sure if he was in pain or in ecstasy, and sweat beaded his hairline and neck. He looked like a ravaged Greek demigod laid bare at Alex's whim. The sight made Alex’s body shudder with a wave of lust for the alien beneath him. He didn’t know if it was because he was alien or because Alex was in the midst of intense pleasure, but he wanted to never leave in that instant.

"Fuck, look at you," Alex couldn't help saying. He pushed back, arching and reaching until he could brace his hands on Michael's legs to grind back down in his prick. The cylinder jut from his groin obscenely between them, position change not effecting its mechanical precision. Michael opened his eyes and stared up at Alex, a look if wonder on his face.

"I wanna touch you," he said, voice quiet enough to almost get lost under the hum of the machine. Alex smirked down at him, feeling fuck drunk and bold at his naked worship.

"Where do you wanna touch me? Tell me," Alex demanded, voice breathy.

"I want to touch your neck. I want to twist my hands in your hair and put you where I want you," Michael said, voice serious like he was in a confessional booth telling his sins. Alex hummed in response, sitting up straight and moving his hands up his chest to his neck and then into his hair.

"Like this?" Alex asked, smiling at the covetous, feral look on Michael's face as Alex acted out his words. He let his eyes slip shut so he could imagine that instead of restrained, Michael was simply dictating his desires to him.

"Yeah. Like that," he agreed. His eyes trailed lower and he began talking again. "I want to rake my nails down your chest. I want to pinch and suck your nipples, abuse your tits until you're begging for me to stop."

Alex let his hands fall from his hair down to his chest. He raked his fingers down the front of his pecs and stomach, not stopping until he was almost at his pubes. He slid his fingers back up to his nipples and plucked at them with savage, twisting, pinching fingers. The zings of pain shot down to his groin, where his balls were drawing up tight to his body, the finish line in sight for him. The rhythm of the machine picked up and Alex opened his eyes in time to see Michael looking intently at the knots that controlled speed and intensity.

"Where else?" Alex gasped, the increased setting of the machine making him tip forward to brace himself with his hands on Michael’s chest, so he could fuck himself harder onto Michael's cock in time. He could see in Michael's face he was getting close too, trying to hold out until Alex busted.

"After I come in your ass, I want you to sit on my face and let me eat you out. I want to taste you and me on my tongue. I wanna watch you squirm, oversensitive and mewling as I tongue fuck you into a second orgasm," Michael managed to say through a gasping, pained groan. His hips were flexing minutely under Alex, trying impotently to reciprocate the harsh pounding he was getting as Alex rode him.

"Fuck!" Alex almost yelled, his body starting to seize at the thought, thrusts going erratic as he rode through his orgasm on with his body on automatic pilot. A beeping sensor on the machine went off and the machine automatically shut itself off. Gingerly, he broke the suction around the base of his cock and slid the cylinder from his body. Feeling wrecked and still impossible full of cock, Alex looked down at Michael who was breathing hard and looking pained at the full stop of their activities. Alex gave him an evil smile when their eyes met.

"Your turn, cowboy," he said. Michael looked at him in momentarily confusion until Alex pulled off his cock with groan. He felt so empty without Michael inside him. He felt like his ass was gaping where his legs were still spread on either side of Michael’s hips. He twisted around and slid the used cylinder over Michael's hard-as-nails prick. Machine in place, Alex reached over and flipped on the machine again, overriding the collection sensor and making sure to turn up the speed to bring Michael off swiftly. He turned back to Michael's face, watching him go from shock to stricken within seconds. Alex bent low, resting some of his body weight on top of Michael’s chest, and mouthing at his jaw and neck. He felt the vibrations of whimpers and quiet moans against his cheek as he nibbled at Michael's ear.

"Once you cum in the cylinder, I'm going to make sure you get a taste of us before I dump the sample due to compromise by a foreign body. That means we'll have to do this again tomorrow. And tomorrow? I'm going to fuck your throat while the machine gets a clean sample from you," Alex whispered into his ear. Michael made an unmistakable noise of release, a tight, gasping sob as his cock was milked dry. The selection alarm chimed again and Alex turned off the machine with an easy flick of his wrist.

Good to his word, Alex twisted and broke the suction of the cylinder. Because of the double load, when he moved it off Michael's cock, he could see their combined spunk coating Michael's length in a pearlescent sheen. Inspired, Alex bent down and dragged his tongue down the length of Michael's softening cock. He turned back to Michael, dumping the cylinder haphazardly onto the instrument cart before sealing his lips over Michael's. Michael opened his mouth hungrily, tongue tangling against Alex's and greedily stealing all traces of their combined flavor for himself. When they broke apart, Alex smiled down at Michael for a moment, giving him one last kiss, before moving off of him and the gurney.

He once again leaned against the side of the gurney and put himself back together. By the time he was completely re-outfitted in his fatigues, his mind was once again on business. He turned and pushed the gag back into Michael's mouth before he could say anything. Michael stared at him in confusion until Alex grabbed a hand towel and laid it over Michael's lap to cover his nudity. He gave Michael a sad smile before he went and removed the chair from in front of the door and stuck his head out into the corridor.

"Captive is ready for transport back to the pen," he called to the guards on duty. He backed away when they came back in the room and unlocked the wheels of Michael's gurney. Michael stared at him in something like betrayal as he was wheeled away. After he was gone, Alex washed out the cylinders sleeve and wrote a note on Michael's chart to schedule him for a second collection the following day.

Alex wasn't sure how he felt about what had just happened. Now, in the quiet of the empty collection room, he wondered if it had been an elaborate dream. He wondered if he'd wake up soon in his own bed, tired and disoriented and dreading another day of work at Caulfield. He also couldn't deny that what had just happened definitely wasn't a dream if the ache in his muscles and the slick feeling between his ass cheeks were to be trusted. He felt guilty for judging Kyle’s lasciviousness when he couldn’t stop himself from riding his captive like a rodeo bull. Was he as bad as the other guards thought, or was it just Michael? Alex couldn’t imagine doing anything that had just happened to another captive or man that he knew.

One thing was for certain, he was already in too deep to want to stop. He hadn’t come that hard since he’d learned where his prostate was. He just didn’t know how he was going to schedule in more time for him and Michael to see each other after tomorrow. With a sigh, he left the room and went back to his office to think through his actions. A flask of bourbon waited in his desk drawer to help him find the answers.

[unlikely-course]

The tl;drs of this very long post, which is about Gideon’s arc and her relationship to Harrow:

-Gideon’s arc in gtn is a corruption arc because tlt is not just goth but Gothic

-Gideon “forgives” Harrow because of Trauma and that’s definitely not the endpoint of how she feels about Harrow or their past

-The narrative knows what it’s doing

When Gideon says “For the Ninth!” as she dies, and thinks “this is the loyalty they always said I lacked, this is me making good” that’s not growth, that’s part of the tragedy of the moment. Like, the Ninth does not deserve her allegiance! It is, as Gideon was the first to remind us, rotten to the core. When she dies, it’s for Harrow, and her saying it’s for the Ninth does represent on some level that she’s come to new understanding about who Harrow is and how Harrow views herself *as* the Ninth, but like this is, I mean. Bad. Harrow herself does not deserve Gideon’s loyalty! Gideon gives it to her because it is a relief. Gideon is very good, yes, but the forgiveness is a response to trauma. The second Harrow shows even the slightest vulnerability or regard for Gideon, Gideon is eager to make amends because she has been starved for any positive association to others for her entire life, and Harrow was literally the only peer she ever had to associate with. She correctly identified that resistance to Ninth society was vital to her survival and selfhood, but also that shit is exhausting. That resistance is also partially formed by that society conveying to her: we have no place for you, we have no use for you as you are, and that makes you hateful to us.

Her response to Harrow and the cavalier role then is pretty classic! It is a relief to have a place, to be able to stop fighting, to give herself over to a structure sold to her as one in which she can support and be supported, to resolve the central conflict and most complicated relationship of her life. I maintain that you the reader are also supposed to feel initially relieved and even cheered by Gideon and Harrow growing closer and then gradually unsettled when Gideon embraces cavalierhood and the increasingly invasive demands of the trials, and has her mindset adjusted in increments toward sacrifice. To feel her thoughts turn in this direction is alarming! This is purposeful, and it is purposefully mixed in with good feelings, the same good feelings that Gideon is getting, to distract from and inoculate you against what is happening just as Gideon is inoculated against it.

In addition, Canaan House is a very particular crucible. This is not only the first time that Gideon has ever been bombarded with new people and experiences, but also the first time she’s faced these unknown external threats, which pushes her to unite with the familiar (Harrow) against them. Her past and present environments have made it so that the compassion she comes to feel for Harrow gets bound up in the idea of being loyal to her house, the ‘contract’ of her new role, and the positive interaction it gives her until the idea of her offering her life to Harrow is not simply necessary in the moment but good and right. Redeeming, even, when we as readers know she has nothing she needs redemption for. 

Gideon is so very angry when she comes to in htn, and it is not merely anger at those who have wronged Harrow or anger at Harrow for endangering herself. On the First, she made a simple deal: her life for relief from the emotional state she had to live it in. Forgiveness for some kind of peace. And when she wakes up that exchange is refuted. Gideon frames Harrow’s actions as a rejection of herself out of low self-esteem but also in an attempt to deal with unresolved anger she has towards Harrow, anger that cannot fit into the cavalier role she wants to embody, anger that she attempted to trade away but in actuality can’t. Because the role she was sold, the type of relationship the cavalier and necro is supposed to be, is ultimately false. It encompasses very real and deep relationships, as we have seen, but the framework uses these real elements to its own ends, the Empire’s ends, and despite its proclamations of mutual care the relationship is always at the cavalier’s expense.

This is what it means to say Gideon’s arc in gtn is a corruption arc. It’s not that she becomes “bad,” it’s that the corrupting forces of the narrative have reached out and altered her, worn her down, seduced her even. This is Gideon’s first contact with the wider Empire, in the seat and seed of its wretched power, and it has used her goodness, her capacity for connection (and yes for forgiveness as well!) against her to further ensnare her, to draw her in line with itself. And then she dies for it, as it demands! Wow. And the we have the other side of that, which is when Gideon says “For the Ninth!” she’s signaling to Harrow that she has come to value what Harrow values, just as Harrow herself, watching in horror, has come to realize her values are very fucked up.

And Harrow has indeed realized that by that time! Harrow really does travel such a distance in gtn, but this is largely obscured from us just the same as plot details are in the book, by the limits of Gideon’s perception. And let me be clear: this is a feature, not a bug. It is not a weakness. It is vital! Integral! To the above, and all it entails for Gideon as a character and the overall themes of the series, that Gideon forgive Harrow without Harrow having “earned” it or made real amends. The fact that she does conveys to us everything I’ve just been talking about!

Furthermore, this story is in conversation with a rather particular type of Christianity, but Gideon’s Jesus parallels are even more widely applicable. Forgiveness is kind of a whole theme with that guy, and the book is also plenty interested in what it costs for a human to forgive as divinely as scripture demands (to forgive as the bond demands, as the empire demands). In some ways there are good things that may come of it, sure, but it is not a purely redemptive force for the giver or receiver. It does not necessarily resolve.

I myself can’t say that I ship Gideon and Harrow in the way people traditionally think of shipping, nor as I have traditionally shipped other characters. Still, I reject the notion that that way of relating to each other is not a central part of the questions the book is asking. Like before, when I was talking about Gideon finding something to believe in in the way the adept/cavalier bond is sold to her—although we see that bond encompass many different types of relationships it is in Gideon and Harrow’s case speaking to how romantic love (much like that forgiveness!) is not immediately and entirely redemptive. I mean, Muir does say the series is about how love can be redemptive, but I think can be is the operative phrase here, in that it’s also first demonstrating the ways it’s not, or at least not always the way we think it will be--the limits and then the power. Trying to set that aspect of the relationship aside (like a “sisters” route or something similar) is a weak and queasy side-stepping of the issue.

Remember that interview where Muir says something along the lines of like, she didn’t write it as necessarily romantic but definitely homoerotic? Yeah. 

Despite all that I do want to make it clear that I hope Gideon and Harrow work it out in the end. Just don’t assume the narrative does not understand what working it out might entail. And who knows? I might have the read all wrong. Maybe Muir doesn’t understand what she’s doing. But I feel pretty compelled by the textual evidence.

[lancermylove]

Mixed Signals (Oneshot)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: Barbatos x fem!Reader

Warning: N/SFW! I MEAN IT! Kinda slow burn.

Requested by: Anon

Prompt: Hi. Could I request a one-show with a female reader and Barbatos (Obey Me). It's holiday themed so if it's not you cup of tea I understand. Both are attracted to each other but never said anything, though they have friendly banter often and think the feelings are mutual. There's a party going on and they end up under the mistletoe. She thinks it's going to give them an opportunity to open up to each other but he is reluctant to do it (fearing she likes one of the brothers).  After he pecks her cheek she thinks she read the signs wrong & feels down. After the party she decides to find his room. She confesses her feelings, he explains why he acted the way he did. He didn't want to do it just because of tradition, he wanted it to mean something. Maybe he mentions wanting to know a side of her the brothers don't & keep it to himself. I'd like it to be cute but spicy so you can go as n.sfw-ish as you feel comfortable. I hope it's not too long/confusing. Thanks.

A/N: I know you said n.sfw-ish, but it turned into n.sfw...no wait, DETAILED N.SFW. XD Also, I know Barb’s bedroom is filled with door, but I’m just going to pretend he has another room that’s like a normal room. 😂

Word Count: 2,973

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Your first day at Devildom was completely unexpected. Aside from being teleported into a different world, and that too hell, you didn't expect to meet such good looking men.

As time passed, you met all the brothers, angels, Solomon, and Diavolo. You found each one attractive in his own way, but you never considered dating any of them. That is until you attended the party at Diavolo's castle and met Barbatos.

When you saw the butler, you couldn't take your eyes off him. Was it his looks? His calm demeanor? The sense of mystery about him? You couldn't put your finger on it, but you were drawn to him.

Unfortunately, since you lived at the House of Lamentation, you rarely saw the butler. Your eyes yearned to catch a single glimpse of the green-haired man, and one day, your wish was granted by none other than the demon king himself. Diavolo invited you to his castle to ask about your stay and experience at RAD thus far. On top of that, he informed you about your weekend meetings with him.

"(Y/N), I would like you to visit me every weekend to share your experience and progress in Devildom." Diavolo flashed a friendly smile, "Also, if you don't mind, I would like to hear stories about the human world. Your world intrigues me."

You immediately agreed to his invitation and took it as an opportunity to meet Barbatos.

At first, Barb simply greeted you while serving you refreshments and then excused himself. As you visited the castle more frequently, the demon butler became friendlier towards you. He started to converse with you, asking about your day and classes. To your surprise, he even asked about your favorite foods, so that he can prepare them for your next visit. You merely took as his kindness, not realizing that Barbatos began to develop feelings for you.

Even the Ruler of Devildom noticed the changes in his trusted butler when you were around. Diavolo wholeheartedly supported Barbatos's feelings for you. Every weekend, he made excuses to show up late for the meeting, allowing you to spend more time with the demon butler. Slowly, the two of you began chatting about topics other than food and Devildom. 

Your friendship grew to the point where Barbatos invited you to help him in the kitchen as an excuse to spend more time with you. More than anything, the demon enjoyed teasing you - smearing flour on your cheeks, dabbing icing on the tip of your nose, playfully arguing about Devildom food being better than human food. His actions made you think of him in a different light. No man would tease and banter with you to this point if he didn't like you, right? You didn't get the answer to your question until Christmas came around.

Diavolo planned a grand party for all the important people of Devildom, and of course, he invited you. You donned your finest outfit, picked by none other than Asmo. The Avatar of Lust knew about your feelings for Barbatos and supported you.

"Sweetie, when I'm done, you'll look so beautiful that Barb won't be able to take his eyes off you." Asmo winked while applying blush to your cheeks.

The fifth-oldest brother was not kidding. When you entered the party, everyone stared at you in awe, including the demon brothers, angels, Solomon, and Diavolo. Unfortunately, Barbatos was nowhere in sight, so you exited the party in search of him. Though you looked and looked, there were no signs of your crush anywhere, not even the kitchen.

You returned to the party once more, hoping to find him there; instead, you found yourself standing under a mistletoe. As you stared at the green branch overhead, you wished that by some miracle, Barb would join you. Unbeknownst to you, your partner in crime noticed you staring at the mistletoe and immediately found Barbatos, dragging him in front of you.

"Sweetie, I found him! Barbatos, (Y/N) has been looking for you everywhere." Asmo chuckled, "Hm? Why are you blushing, (Y/N)?"

The Avatar of Lust moved his eyes to the branch above you and gasped, pretending he never saw the mistletoe above you. He glanced at Barbatos before shifting his eyes up, clapping his hands together. "Barb, please do the honors of fulfilling the Christmas tradition!"

This was the happiest moment of your life. To think that you were going to kiss the man of your dreams, all thanks to your fairy demon. While you indulged in the thought of how the kiss will feel, you failed to notice Barbatos hesitating. He slowly leaned in, but instead of kissing your lips, he pecked your cheek. The butler quickly excused himself, leaving both you and Asmo in shock.

Your chest tightened, making it difficult for you to breathe. You instantly walked out of the party with Asmo following in your trail.

"Sweetie, please wait," Asmo gently held onto your arm and pulled you closer to him, turning your body to face him. The demon cupped and wiped your tear-stained cheeks.

"I...am stupid," you began and bit your lower lip, fighting the tears threatening to escape your eyes, "I thought he liked me, but I misread everything."

"Don't say that, dear." Asmo drew you into a hug and rubbed soothing circles on your back. "Please calm down and don't jump to any conclusions. Talk to Barbatos first."

You weren't sure why, but a strong feeling told you that you didn't misread the signals. Barbatos was not the type to get friendly with just anyone. You thanked Asmo for comforting you before rushing to find your crush, knowing well that your heart was not going to be at peace until you got the answers to your questions.

After a while, you found yourself standing in front of his bedroom door. You raised a shaky hand to the door and took a deep breath before hitting your knuckles against the wood. The butler was stunned to see you but stepped aside and invited you into his room.

"Did you lose your way?" He questioned, closing the door behind you.

You weren't sure if he meant 'lose your way' in a literal direction or figuratively, but you pushed on. "Barbatos, do you have time to talk? I need to tell you something."

The butler studied your averted eyes and red cheeks as he nodded. "What would you like to tell me?"

"When I first came to Devildom, I was surprised to see the men here. I found them all to be attractive in one way or another, but none of them tugged on my heartstrings. That is...," your voice turned into a whisper, "until I met you."

Upon hearing your words, Barbatos's eyebrows tugged up as his body stiffened. He remained silent and waited for you to continue.

"I felt drawn to you and wanted to spend more time with you. That's why I always looked forward to the weekend." You couldn't bring yourself to look at his face, so you continue speaking with your eyes glued on the stone floor. "When you started to spend more time with me, I was very happy. Um..."

You gathered the courage to lift your head and look at the handsome demon. Barbatos stared, expressionless, but you didn't let that faze you.

"I thought you liked me. Your behavior around me was different, bu-but...," you curled your damp hands into a fist, preparing yourself for the worse as you asked, "why didn’t you kiss me properly under the mistletoe? Did I misread your signals?"

You felt your eyes stinging, but you dug your nails into your palms to hold back the tears. Barbatos didn't expect you to ask him such a direct question, but much to your shock, he smiled.

"You did not misread my signals. I presumed that you held feelings for one of the brothers, considering you seem to be quite attached to them." he paused to see your reactions and chuckled. "As for the kiss, I apologize for hurting your feelings. I want our first kiss to hold meaning, not for the sake of tradition. Also, I did not want to kiss you in public."

Barbatos stepped closer to you, delicately wiped away the tears collecting in the corner of your eyes, and whispered, "I apologize for causing your pain and bringing tears to your eyes."

“Y-You like me?” You couldn’t believe your ears and weren’t sure how to react. You always dreamt of this moment, but now that it arrived, you were at a loss. 

“I do.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and looked into your eyes. "Might I be selfish enough to ask for a favor?"

"S-sure."

"I always considered the brothers lucky for being able to get friendly with you. How I wished my lord had asked you to stay in this castle instead." The demon butler gave a small smile. "Would you be kind enough to show me a different side of you? A side that not even the brothers haven't seen."

It took several seconds to digest his words, and you weren't sure what exactly he meant. So, you pursed your lips and closed your eyes, waiting for him to kiss you. Barbatos held a finger to his lips and chuckled, finding your action adorable. He rested his hand on your cheek delicately as if he was touching glass.

"I am not familiar with the traditions in the human world, so forgive me if my words frighten you. Physical intimacy holds a deep meaning for me, so my love, would you permit me to hold you? Would you be mine?" Barbatos held out his hand in front of you and waited patiently for your reply.

You stared at him with your lips ajar. ‘Be his...what does he...?’ 

A deep shade of crimson covered your cheeks as you gasped, clamping one hand over your mouth. Your heart jumped with joy as your head spun slightly from the sudden rush of blood. Only when you nodded did the demon plant a tender kiss on the back of your hand. 

Barbatos placed butterfly kisses on your face before capturing your lips. He gently pulled away from the kiss, his hot breath tickling the lower half of your face. Barbatos slide the tip of his tongue along your lower lip, waiting for you to part your lips. A shade of red once again spread across your cheeks, but you granted him entry. The demon impatiently thrusted his tongue into your wet cavern while his hands stroked the curves of your waist. He explored your mouth and rolled his tongue on yours. 

You dug your fingers into his jacket as his hands began to roam freely around your heated body. Barbatos drew his tongue out and wiped saliva running down your chin. He ran a finger up your back, tracing the zipper of your fitted dress before tugging down the pull tab. Not breaking off eye contact, Barbatos helped you out of your clothes and undergarments. Feeling the cold air against your warm skin, you shivered and crossed your arms over your chest.

"You look breathtaking," he complimented, scooping you in his arms and walking towards the bed.

The red on your face grew darker as you nuzzled your face in his warm neck. He gently set you on his bed and straddled your body. Barbatos tugged his gloves off with his teeth while giving you a teasing smile.

"You are such a tease." You mumbled and tried to pry your eyes from his face in vain. He chuckled at your statement and continued his venture.

Taking hold of your hand, he kissed your fingers, the back of your hand, and up your arm. Barb trailed wet kisses to your shoulder, neck, and up to your lips. He pecked your lips before tenderly kissing down the other side of your neck and to your chest.

You watched him examining your mounds, finally realizing that your dream was coming true. The man you yearned for was in bed with you, physically showing his feelings for you. ‘This isn’t a dream, is it? This is...really happening.’ 

The demon butler rolled his tongue on your perked nipple before taking the bud into his mouth and sucking on it. Gasping loudly, you closed your eyes as your heart pounded against your chest. You ran your fingers in his hair and dug your nails into his scalp, prompting Barb to take your whole breast into his mouth as his free hand massaged the other mound. Your muffled cries only added to his desire.

After leaving both your breasts sore, the green-haired man processed to kiss down your stomach while caressing the side of your hips. His touch was even more satisfying than you had imagined in your fantasies. He pushed your legs apart only to have you press them back together.

Barb brushed your pelvic bone with the tips of his fingers and smiled tenderly, "Let me see how beautiful you look."

Though you were nervous, you gave in to his request and slowly parted your legs. He sat in the middle, taking hold of your right leg and ghosting his lips over your ankle. The entire time his eyes stayed glued to your glistening womanhood. Barbatos trailed his lips up your leg, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

"My love, you are beautiful." He whispered, his hot breath caressing the area between your legs. He sunk his teeth on the side of your thigh, marking you as his before pressing his lips deeply between your legs. 

"A-ah, Barb." You groaned, arching your back.

Your voice was music to his ears. Barbatos slowly ran his tongue up and down your slit, drawing more lewd sounds from you. 

“You taste so sweet,” he groaned, pressing the tip of his tongue to your clit, sliding it down to your entrance. Shifting his eyes to meet yours, Barbatos shoved his tongue inside your entrance.

"Oh my god," you exclaimed in a breathy voice, earning a witty reply from your lover in return.

"There is no god here, my dear."

Barb teasingly thrusted his tongue in and out a few times, earning a series of moans from you in return. He licking up to your slit, and without warning, he pushed two digits into your entrance, wiggling his fingers to get a feel of the soft flesh inside. You yelped, gripping the bedsheet with both your hands.

"B-Barb. A-at least wa-warn me."

"Where's the fun in that?" He chuckled as he gently began stretching your insides with his fingers.

Barbatos withdrew his long fingers, earning a disapproving groan from you. He brought his digits to his face and licked them clean of your essence. "I could get used to this taste."

You averted your eyes and bit down on your lower lip to suppress a groan.

Maintained eye contact, he stood up and started to undressed. The butler took his time, peeling each layer off one-by-one until you cried, "Barb...hurry!"

"My, someone is impatient." He teased while pushing his pants down to his ankles. You stared hungrily at his precum-soaked erected manhood.

Barbatos positioned himself between your legs and pressed his tip at your entrance. "My love, are you sure about this? If you are not ready, then I do not want to pressure you into this. We can always-"

Not being able to take it any longer, you shot your eyes to his face, "Barb, I want you NOW!"

The butler let you a small laugh at the unexpected reaction as he gripped your hips. Little by little, he pushed his length inside, taking care not to hurt you. You cried as your inside stretched to accommodate his large size, tears collecting in the corners of your eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concerned by your pained expression.

"Y-Yeah," you managed to answer.

"You are taking me in quite well." He stole passionate kisses while cooing words of praises as you adjusted to his size. When you gave him the green signal, Barbatos slowly started to move inside you. You held onto his arms as your body gave into the intense pleasure. He studied you with a smile, watching you melting under him. Barbatos was truly happy to finally become one with you.

The butler hovered over you, sweat bead rolling down his face. He kissed you hungrily as he changed his angle to hit you deeper. His focus was on you, and his only goal was to please you. Barbatos took note of every expression, movement, and sound you made.

"There! B-Barb h-hit t-there." Your voice drove him mad, but your words made him crazier, "ugh...g-go f-faster." 

The butler pinned your trembling hands next to your head, pulled out his length, and slammed into you. He hit your sweet spot with enough force to make you scream his name. Though he had picked up his pace, Barbatos tried not to be rough with you. He wanted your first time with him to be passionate and memorable. 

As you got closer to your climax, Barbatos moved his hips faster against yours, leaving you a moaning mess. The sound of your bodies slapping against each other and your mewls filled the room. Not long after, your vision went white as your body shuddered under the demon. Your head was spinning as your essence coated his length. Barbatos held you closer to him, his thrusts losing their rhythm. Soon after, he pulled out and released on your body, coating you with his essence. The butler rested his forehead against yours as he caught his breath.  

"Thank you for agreeing to this," Barbatos whispered in a breathy voice, "I promise to always be there for you and love you till your last breath. N-No, continue to love you even after your last breath."

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➣ Obey Me Masterlist ➣ Buy me a Ko-fi or Commission?

[loove-persevering]

‘’you have to be okay’’ steve rogers x reader!

Description: [request!] The reader doesn’t listen on a mission and results in an injury that also brings up some feelings for Steve.

__________________

‘‘We’re going to need to talk sooner or later,’‘ You hear the all too familiar voice from behind you. It hurt to hear his voice at the moment but you felt better knowing that he at least wanted to talk about it. But it wasn’t him that confessed his feelings, yup that was all you. 

‘‘Theres nothing to talk about,’‘ You say simply. ‘‘Nothing at all.’‘ You turn around facing him staring straight into the blue eyed man you had confessed your love to a few nights previously. ‘‘Let’s just get the mission done and we can go back to acting like it never happened, like I never said a thing.’‘ You offer. 

‘‘We both know we can’t do that,’‘ He tells you sincerely. 

‘‘We’ll were going to,’‘ You rebuttal, ‘’I want that conversation to never had happened,’’ You sigh, ‘’Can we do that?’’ You ask him. 

He crosses his arm over his chest, ‘’I don’t think I can,’’ He explains. 

You groan throwing your head back out of annoyance, ‘’I told you I loved you, you said you couldn’t say it back. I accept that but I don’t want to talk about it anymore.’’ You tell him almost pleading for him to forget about it. 

‘’You’re embarrassed.’’ He points out, ‘‘We still need to have that conversation.’‘ He reinforces.

‘‘Hell yeah I am embarrassed, I threw it out on the line to tell you and you give me all these mixed signals like you love me and about moving on from the past and here you are still stuck Steve.’‘ You explain. ‘‘I’m never going to be her, and if you can’t move past her we can’t move forward.’‘ You explain. ‘‘I get it you loved her but that was over fifty years ago Steve, I love you so much but I can’t wait forever.’‘ You tell him, ‘‘It’s not fair,’‘ You explain and he nods his head seemingly understanding where you were coming from. 

‘‘I think I just need more time,’‘ He explains. 

You smile to yourself realizing that time seemed to be the issue at hand, ‘’I’ll give you all the time you need Captain,’’ You say before the purple mist and the rush of air filled your ears, a moment later you were in the common room of the compound away from the room that seemed to just keep growing smaller and smaller. 

‘‘When did you get here?’‘ Tony asks the armor covering his face sliding up. 

‘‘Like two seconds ago,’‘ You explain to him. 

‘‘Must be nice if your running late,’‘ He says making a pretty good point actually. ‘‘Speaking of which, Rogers!’‘ He yells out and you see Steve come from around the corner not meeting your gaze. ‘’Let’s go!’’ He tells you and Steve, ‘’Natasha is already on the jet.’’ He explains and you were the first to move to get the passenger pilot seat which means you wouldn’t be stuck next to Steve for the flight there.

_________________________

‘‘How we doing out there?’‘ You hear Tony on coms. ‘’Y/N?’’ You hear him ask specifically. 

‘‘Still trying to find the room,’‘ You explain. It was hard for you to teleport in areas you weren’t familiar with you never knew what room you’d end up in. You had studied the layout of this specific building but what was in the rooms was what you had worried about. You had already given that you were here when you popped up in a room full of soldiers who were very big and kinda scary. 

‘‘No rush,’‘ You hear him say but there was sarcasm dripping from his voice. ‘‘We’ll hold down the fort,’‘ He explains. ‘‘Looks like they’re sending in more soldiers from a bunker near by I’m seeing cars full of them headed our way. We gotta make this snippy,’‘ He tells everyone. 

‘‘I can find it just give me a minute!’‘ You tell him not wanting to not finish the mission. 

‘‘Theres too many get back to the jet,’‘ You hear Steve chime in and you had to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes at the sound of his voice. 

You don’t say anything you just keep shifting from room to room till you found the box of serums they had stolen that could potentially be used as a weapon. They were deadly in the hands of the wrong people and HYDRA were the wrong hands. ‘’Y/N?’’ You hear Natasha over the radio, ‘’Where are you?’’ She asks. 

‘‘I have three more rooms, it has to be in one of them,’‘ You explain. 

‘‘Y/N get back to the jet now,’‘ You hear Steve come over coms, ‘‘Not debatable,’‘ He says. 

‘’Another minute,’‘ You tell him. 

‘‘You should really get back to the jet Y/N,’‘ Natasha says warningly. 

You were finally on the second to the last room when you saw it, there the few samples were in a fridge across the room, the room was a lot larger than the rest you had been in and it was completely vacant. ‘’I found it,’’ You chime in. 

‘‘Time is precious,’‘ You hear Tony say. 

‘‘Just a second,’‘ You tell them. You can hear Steve yelling at you over the coms telling you that you needed to get out as quickly as you could. ‘‘Rogers just shut up a second would ya?’‘ You say taking the piece out of your ear not bothering to hear the nagging they were doing. 

 You walk over to the samples they were all in a glass container just a few of them, luckily it looked like they hadn’t run any test or even used a bottle yet. You open the cooler where they were and pull them out they were a bit heavier than you expected, when you turned around you notice the reflection of a red beam, you furrow your eyebrows confused what this would be and then you realized your eyes widening. 

You heard the shatter of glass and then immediately the air closed in around you and when you opened your eyes you were back on the quinjet the team staring at you expectantly. You could see there eyes turn from shock to worry and Steve was suddenly pushing his way through from the front of the jet to you his eyes full of panic and worry. ‘’Y/N?’’ He says but it was muffled. 

You glance down as he makes his way over finally his hands resting on your shoulders, you notice the broken test tube glasses and blood coming through your uniform. You weren’t quick enough and now you were shot with some type of serum that hadn’t been tested on humans yet, ‘’Steve,’’ You say panicked and he looked at you completely terrified. 

‘‘Hey, you’re okay, you’re gonna be fine you hear me?’‘ He says his hands cupping your face. ‘‘You’re gonna be just fine,’‘ He explains but even you could see the tears in his eyes. 

‘‘We need to lay her down,’‘ You hear Tony say, ‘‘She’s gonna pass out,’’ He tells everyone. 

Everyones panic seemed to set in because Steve held you close as everyone else buckled into the jet, he kept talking to you trying to keep you awake and the last thing you heard before it all went completely dark was Steve saying, ‘’You have to be okay.’’

___________

The clock read 03:07 A.M. when you woke up for the first time, you instinctively reached up feeling all the wires on your chest and you tried to pull them off. ‘’Doll, keep those on okay?’’ You hear the familiar voice. It was so good to hear his voice. 

‘‘You’re here?’‘ You ask him and you see his body shift up from the smaller bed in your room. ‘‘Where are we?’’ You ask him your voice cracking at the end. 

Steve sighs walking over to you, his hair had grown out slightly as well as a beard and that was when you realized you had been well not awake for a while. ‘’I should go get the doctor,’’ He says sitting at the edge of your bed, too far from you if you had a say in it. He turns his head toward the door and you start to push yourself up so you weren’t laying down. ‘’Careful,’’ He says his hand instinctively reaching out. 

‘‘How long have I been out?’‘ You ask him your head still spinning. The look on Steve’s face seemed to tell you it was longer than he wanted, ‘‘How long?’‘ You ask pushing yourself up more.

‘‘About a month,’‘ He tells you. ‘‘The shot wasn’t fatal but the serum whatever it was it almost killed you,’‘ He couldn’t even meet your eye. ‘’I told you to get out of there. If you had just listened then we wouldn’t-’’

‘‘We finished the mission, who knows what would’ve happened if I hadn’t gotten those samples.’‘ You tell him.

‘‘You wouldn’t have almost died! That’s what would’ve happened,’‘ He says his voice getting louder and louder. ‘’We had no idea what was in that serum and it went into the wound you got from the shot, and we’ve been waiting for you to just wake up although we weren’t really sure you were going to.’’ He says. 

‘‘Well I’m resilient,’‘ You say crossing your arms over your chest. 

He lets out a huff but it sounded like a laugh, ‘’I love you,’’ He tells you and you felt yourself freeze. ‘’That day when you left I realized I was messing up the one thing that Peggy and I could never have.’’

‘‘And what’s that,’‘ You ask not in a sarcastic tone, but just a generally curious one. 

‘‘A future,’‘ He says. ‘‘And I can have that with you, and I took that for granted I found that out the day you were shot.’‘ He tells you. ‘’I was scared I was gonna lose you, and I don’t want to know what that’s like.’’ He tells you. 

‘‘Well I don’t plan on going anywhere,’‘ You tell him a smile forming on your face. ‘‘Now come on over here,’‘ You say scooting over as much as you could, Steve looked at you like you were crazy. ‘’Come on,’’ You tell him patting the open space next to you.

 ‘’I’m following your orders now?’’ He asks. 

‘‘Yes, yes you are.’‘ You tell him, ‘‘Can you tell me you love me again so I know that wasn’t a fluke?’‘ You say laughing slightly and you can feel his chest move up and down laughing along with you. 

‘‘I love you.’‘‘ He says.

Thanks for reading! REQUEST ARE OPEN! I didn’t proof ily though

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Only Time Makes It Human 3

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: hi and sorry for the long wait, I had to squish my brain real hard to get this chapter out, but I hope you like it, I decided a chapter about growth wasn't enough and y'all gave me an idea for angst so I just splashed it there and we'll delve into it more on the next chapter. 10/10 the idea works well enough for me to bring Levi and reader together even more. So don't call me out on being random. This is raw, un fucking edited, I'll edit later 💗

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Tags: modern au, college au

Warnings: mentions of blood

Special kudos if you figure out why I used this gif ;)

The problem with your feet being numb in the morning when you woke up wasn't supposed to phase you as much as it currently did, but the weathering cold that had barged its way to your room silently begged to have you feel something other than the everlasting whirlpool of regret.

Which was -unsurpisingly- something you had been spiraling into a lot lately.

Your ringtone -or rather the caller that had caused it to go off- nontheless remained mercilessly unforgiving to your current condition. The brute vibrations that accompanied your once favorite song ripped through the air and bounced on every wall inside your room before it wooshed inside your eardrums.

You fucking finally had to change that ringtone, you thought.

Your feet, moist and heavy as they buzzed with the aftermath of the coma-like sleep you had just gone through, struggled to wiggle from underneath the comfort of your blankets. Your hands instinctively rubbed the underside of your nose as you sniffled all the cold of the room around you. Throwing the blanket off of you, you groaned at the non stop ringing of your phone.

The few steps to your desk felt like an eternity of having to walk with a badgy weight on your feet, but the faint feeling in your body didnt come to an halt even after you picked the device in your hands. Your eyes couldn’t really adjust well to make out the ID of the caller, of course, sleep hadn't rubbed off your eye lids yet, but still you slid the emerald button to acceptance with no resistance.

“Hey” you sleepingly moaned.

“Hellooo! (Y/n)!” Hange called enthusiastically for the other line, her joyous voice piercing your eardrums “Where are you booo?”

“I just woke up why?” you yanwed.

Pacing your eyes around your room you noticed the dull daylight creeping in through your blinds, signaling the gloom of another potentially snowy day for Trost. You blinked as you took notice of the few articles of soon to reside in the laundry bin clothing as well as the dress that hung from your closet door.

And then, it all snapped.

“Oh. shit!”

Anxiety rushed through you like a bullet to the gut, gushing numbness and waves of cold sweat from the point of impact. Forcefully, you ripped your phone off your ear and double tapped at screen to make it light up. The date read December 25, and below it, laid numerous notifications of your alarm and even a pop up reminder from last night to not forget the food you had to take with you.

Thinking back to that, your head started spinning like crazy, the familiar, yet bizarre feeling of your stomach dropping overtaking you. You hadn't cooked, rather, you had spent all night drinking and sulking on your own, cursing yourself for all your choices up to date.

"Yes, oh shit!” Hnge laughed “Oh! You forgot?”

"Hangeeee stop screaming oh my god no I didn't forget, I'm on my way okay?"

A little yelp came out of your mouth as the cable of your charger prevented you from taking another step closer to your bedroom door; letting out a curse under your breath though you quickly unplugged your phone, and rushed over the mess of your room and out to your living room.

"But you said you just woke up."

"Ahhh," you scratched your head, feeling your loose t-shirt sliding down your shoulder "no!" You said, then in a sterner voice you repeated "No! I uhm, I was just-"

Your poor excuse to communicate after having just woken up didn't startled Hange. If anything, she seemed to find it amusing because she burst into joyous, bubbling laughter at the sound of your despair. And you couldn't blame her for it; were you under any other circumstance you would be laughing with yourself as well.

"It's fine. Erwin and I are making a cake for shorty so if you want to cook here you have plenty of time yet. I'm going to say it though, we could really use your pastry skill."

You let out a sigh as you took your phone off your ear and pressed on the speaker icon. Your hands worked fast to grip onto the hem of your shirt and then, even faster, they managed to pull it off of you in shift movements.

"I'm just going to have a shower, dress up and I'll be on my way. It shouldn't take more than 30 minutes."

Hange exhaled in utter relief through the phone and you could practically feel her sheepish smile as Erwin shouted a big fat 'thank you' from the depths of his kitchen. Bringing out a hand to grap your shower cap -the only shower product you loathed using- you ripped the cap off its place on your cabinet and messily shoved all of your hair in it in rushed movements.

"Got any questions before I hit the shower Hange?"

"Please ask her" Erwin was heard and you cocked your head to the side at the sound.

"No Erwiin, we got it under control okay?"

"No we don't."

Shaking your head to prevent yourself from zoning out, you clicked your tongue before opening your mouth to address your two friends. Asking as to what they were referring to was easy, although it was obvious that Hange felt confident in succeeding in the task Erwin was referring to. Knowing Hange though, you thought you could guess perhaps what exactly was going on.

"Please don't mix food coloring with spinach juice to make the cake green like two years ago."

Erwin's laughter was pretty much evident through the other line as Hange went on blubbering about how she wasn't going to do it again giving extreme emphasis as to why she couldn't understand the reason it tasted bad in the first place but would go with what you said nevertheless. At that point Erwin was laughing hysterically, telling you how Hange was once again, indeed, thinking about it and the sound of his laughter grew even louder than Hange's words.

"Do you have food coloring?"

"Yes Hange I have food coloring."

"Plea-pleaee bring some. Dammit Erwin what's gotten into you- gotta go (y/n) see you in a while."

The beeping sound from the other line left you little to no time to properly reply to your friends with a much wanted greeting, though, you didn't think much of it. You were going to spend the whole day with them, so getting upset over not getting the chance to say goodbye over the phone wasn't something that should have caused guilt to spurt in you.

But surely, this wasn't the only cause of your overly bubbling guilt. The actual cause of the knot in your gut laid to the fact that within the time span of two weeks you had managed to to drag Levi and yourself into a rather steep rabbit hole. There was going to be a serious impact of your relationship with your friends had the two of you made it known to them; everyone would scold you -and they'd be right at that- and maybe this time they'd pick sides as to what wrong or not. And you didn't want that.

Although you secretly wished everyone went with Levi. Or at least you had come to the conclusion that that was what you deserved.

You had been feeling bothered and repulsed by what had caused you to make out with him that night, given the fact that you had been the one that initiated the kiss. And just as much, you had been feeling furious over Levi allowing this to ever happen. But looking back at it now, you couldn't say you regretted getting close to him even in such way. And that was probably the most infuriating thing of all.

Nevertheless, there was also the fact that you would be seeing Levi today and frankly you didn't know what to do with that. Should you act like everything was fine? Should you simply ignore him? Was Petra going to be with him?

Speaking of Petra it would be best if you straight up let her know of what had happened. Acting shady with another woman's man behind her back was outrageous for anyone to do and you hated being in that position like the next person.

Your stomach twisted dangerously at your spiraling thoughts, but you chose to ignore the tight knot, attributing the loud growl you had heard to one caused by your excessive hunger.

Perhaps, your shower was going to help you sort out your thoughts and intentions.

With a twist of your wrist the water started sprinting out of the tap in your shower. Your eyes were fixated on your phone, your thumb roaming through Spotify in hopes to find the perfect song to company your bath with. You simply said good for a Christmas playlist that Spotify suggested, tapping on that, a list of numerous jolly songs popped up in your screen and you simply pressed the big shuffle button before putting your head on your cabinet.

..

The walk to Erwin's house was very much and as previously expected, quiet. The sidewalks on your way were all covered in sugary white snow, decorating each different apartment complex in the non urban side of Trost along with the standard holiday decorations.

Taking a deep sigh you brought the back of your finger to the metallic button of Erwin's doorbell. Blinking rationally, you looked around at the marble front door frame of his apartment complex, your blood subtly rushing to your feet. You dragged the tip of your combat boot over the snow, curling your toes on the fuzzy material that covered the inside of the shoe.

You were beginning to become impatient as you waited on the doorframe, Erwin was taking way too long to open the door and you were practically freezing out there; the dress you wore did almost nothing to keep you warm. Despite you taking precautions by wearing a cardigan and the leather coat that you had snatched from your brother, the cold still pierced through your sheer black pantyhose, as if your efforts to stay warm were ridiculous.

The sound of footsteps was what startled you next but still your head didn't turn to the source of the buzzing noise. Your nose simply nuzzled to the scarf you had wrapped around yourself as you rubbed your face onto its warm fleece material.

"Uh, hi."

This time you could help but turn around to check who had thrown a greeting at you.

A familiar puff of ginger hair greeted you as you snuck your nose out of the edge of your scarf, two big and round hazel eyes stared right at you as you blinked rapidly back at them.

Great. Just great.

"Hey."

Petra wiggled her nostrils once to the left and then to the right, seemingly scratching the awkwardness in the atmosphere away. She blinked her eyes a few times into yours, her lips pursing together slightly as if she was coming up with a good comeback to your greeting, yet it never came.

"uhm, what's up?"

Your fingers slightly clutched the edges of your coat, crossing over your chest as you felt your jaw start clattering. Your pupils gathered at the corners of your eyes, catching small glimpses of Petra as you eyed her up and down.

She too had opted for a cardigan and a dress. A very safe choice if you were in a place to express your opinion but hers, despite being adorned with numerous tiny and dainty coral and red flowers, looked so thin and tule like and it barely covered her thighs, so much that you felt a pinch of concern run through you that you were slow to decide on whether you wanted to brush off or not.

"I'm.. good." She managed to let out, but you noticed how her lip trembled.

She was definitely shivering, if that wasn't concerning enough you didn't know what was, and she looked so frail and out of place that she could definitely beat you at it. Plus, the lack of a warm jacket struck somewhat of a nerve at you. Even feeling so much guilt over being in her presence you couldn't help but feel your motherly friend instincts wash over you; why wasn't she wearing something warmer? And why were you seconds away from taking off your jacket to offer it to her when you knew she wouldn't even accept it.

"Damn, Erwin's sure taking long, do you want my jacket?"

"Uh-"

Once again and mostly out of instinct, your finger tapped over the metallic button, covered by the edge of your sleeve. Suddenly, the familiar buzz of the intercom growled in your eardrum and you shook your head to its direction automatically.

"I'm so sorry!" Erwin said. "Come in!"

"Hey Erwin!" Petra spoke before you had a chance to say your wanted reply.

Even if you couldn't see him, you knew how shocked of an expression he was wearing.

Taking the few steps into the apartment complex's yard, you rushed to the next door and waited for the known buzz which signaled that Erwin had finally let you inside. With awkwardness spread over your face though, you pushed your lips into a thing line, holding the door back as you signaled to Petra that she should be the first to come inside.

"Thank you." She muttered.

"No prob."

You watched as Petra hesitated to push the elevator button; with a set of trembling fingers her palm rested only a few inches before the metallic button that was lit in a red arrow. With another smile you came closer to her and went to check in which floor the elevator was currently at. Whether she flinched intentionally or not, you didn't know.

"Wanna share a lift? It'll be a while till it comes down again." You offered.

"Uhm, yeah okay."

Once she responded, Petra tapped onto the elevator button with her thumb.

Petra looked at you and clung onto the edged of her cardigan once again. You took notice of how she looked a little more casual and unkept, despite being dressed on point; the lack of a jacket and her tousled naturally wavy bob betrayed an unwillingness to be present to today's event and it's was painfully obvious.

"I'd like to" Petra hesitated, "I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Oh sure, what is it about?"

"It's about Levi."

Dead silence fell as Petra didn't dare turn her gaze to your direction. The little screen over the elevator button still showed that your lift was taking long to come down as if it mocked you, but you couldn't find it in you to tap into the button once again.

"Would you like to grab some coffee with me tomorrow?"

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

To say that you were panicked would be an exaggeration and probably a degradation to Petra's feelings. Her breathing was heavier than your own, frankly because for her it must have been even more uncomfortable than it was for you. You couldn't blame her for that.

Nonetheless you couldn't help but be genuinely curious as to what she had wanted to tell you? It was evident that she knew something. What's slipped you was whether or not she want to bash you for your actions.

She had every right to do so.

"Yeah. Of course, uhh, tomorrow sounds good."

....

Christmas day wasn't as bad as you had expected it to be when Hange had announced to you that Levi would be coming alone with Petra.

For starters, the food was in plehtora; Erwin had cooked your jolly favorite roasted chicken, Mike and Nanaba had brought an enormous plate of their creamiest, most mouth watering souffle, Levi had made some god tasty pumpkin soup and Hange had taken actually good care of fixing a custom non alcoholic cocktail to each one of you.

All of this drool worthy deliciousness had caused, and non surprisingly at that, your body to submit in that peaceful demi slumber that tagged along with the fullness of your tummy. Frankly, it had been so long since you had enjoyed such a good meal and you didn't think you would be enjoying another one until Mikasa's birthday.

Thus, the cool evening sir that entered the room when Erwin opened the window door to the balcony, found you laying on the floor right next to the tangerine fire that danced in the fireplace. You could faintly feel Nanaba's hand scratch at the roots of your hair, her almond tipped nails slowly running in purringly mellow lines over your sculp that sent you to pure delight.

Levi's eyes danced over your form more than he'd like to admit so. Ever so slightly his pupils would travel up and down your thighs and calfs, examining the material of your sheer back pantyhose but whatever emotion overcame him wasn't the animalistic lust he had expected to feel.

He felt rather guilty. And not only for staring at your legs. For bringing himself upon the situation he was in.

It wasn't easy to think with a throbbing head but in Levi's world this poor condition was translated as a prompt to try to get out of whatever shithole he had found himself in. Maybe. Because there was also a certain part inside of him that bashed him to no end about his previous and degrading actions to both Petra's and his person, which part he completely and rationally justified.

With a quick glance at Petra, Levi brought his hand to his face to hopefully wipe any of the numbness his guilt had got him feeling. Petra seemed to enjoy herself as per usual. With her soft smiles and the mellow sway of her hair over her shoulder, she'd often reach for the hem of her white wooly cardigan to cover her shoulder while cooing into the soft material and onto the side of the couch she was seating in.

It would be hard for anyone to guess that the two of them had broken up.

She was unsurprisingly sitting as far off him as she could; the fact that they hadn't announced to anyone they had broken up because they didn't want the Christmas party at Erwin's to be ruined didn't mean she owned Levi to act like his faithful and bubbly dog.

It happened that night after he had stood her up at the movies.

Levi had gathered all of his determination and had managed to push all thoughts aside from the back of his brain, as he was despairate to ignore that feeling your make out session had brushed on him. He had walked up to Petra, all dissolved and stoic, his chest swelling with anxiety. He had stared at her with an agape mouth, he had been muttering words so honest that he felt were fatally brute and Petra had digested them all without any difficulty.

And before he knew it, he was over and done.

Petra hadn't cried, she hadn't wept, she had only answered him with a smile that she'd rather just be friends with him if things weren't going to work between them.

And to an extended it tortured the ravenette, mostly because he remembered the hurt look in her face before she had managed to hide it with her usual mellow smile.

Taking another sigh, Levi stared at Petra's hand while she played silently with the lettuce hem of her dress. Her hazel orbs were fixed on you, who laid before the fireplace like a stray cat on the tire of car during a snowy day. Levi couldnt exactly place the exact emotion behind Petra's expression, though it would be perceived by most as a saddened one. There were specs of regret gathering at the corners of her eyes, reluctance gathered at her slightly puckered lips and a hint of determination to the front tips of her eyebrows.

Maybe Petra's inner strength was something that Levi deeply admired.

Levi made no effort whatsoever to reach out to her to ask what was going on, not even to show some seemingly convern. The more he looked at Petra, the more it felt utterly wrong for him to simply stand next to her, knowing what he had do behind her back. Whether he loved her or not, it wasn't like him to be caught up in such stupid drama.

"Shorty!"

Levi looked up to an enthusiastic Hange with much tousled hair and a big grin on her face that spread from one ear to another. With another, more thorough glance, he quickly became aware of the cake in her hands; a cake covered in white frosting, decorated with soft pastel green letters that wrote a simple birthday wish to his person. He couldn't help but let out a sigh.

"For you!" Hange smiled further "Erwiiin, come light up the candles!"

Looking around the room he noticed how all of his friends' gazes were on him. Mike and Nanaba remained cuddled on the couch opposite to the one he was on, Petra was mellowy smiling at his eith her cherry lips pressed into a thin line and you were fiddling with what seating arrangement was most comfortable for you at the moment.

"We're celebrating another year where you went up in age and down in height, how delightful." Mike commented, causing laughter to spark between the small group of people around you.

After the spur of happiness died out your eyes met with Levi's, briefly and then they traveled anywhere else in the room altogether.

"Let's light up the candles!" Smiled Erwin as he flicked the small metallic button of his lighter.

"I don't want too many, shit. The last time you took my lungs out."

"Not our fault that you're old Levi!" You spoke, earning a half smile by the ravenette.

"Very old!" Hange agreed.

"Tch, I'm only turning twenty six shut your shitty mouths!"

The warm light of the fire licked each waxed strip of wick that hung from the candles, illuminating Hange's face in warm orange light. Once done with lighting up the candles, Erwin plopped himself in between Levi and Petra, crossing his hands over his knees as he shifted his bottom in the most uncomfortable seating on a couch you had ever witnessed.

You merely caught a glimpse of Hange kneeling before Levi as you dragged your gaze over to Petra, fixating it on her for the thousandth time this evening.

There only was one thing in your head that bounced between the crevices of your brain like crazy. Just one simple words that held so much behind it.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow you were going to apologize to Petra and try to make amends. Being the despicable toxic person you had turned into didn't suit you. Owing up to your mistakes was the first step to redemption and you weren't afraid to take it.

As you fell into a spiral of thoughts and guesses about tomorrow though, you couldn't help but subtly ignore the cheerful sing alone to Levi's birthday song.

.....

"Thank you for coming!"

Petra's hair was messily swaying all over her face, falling a direct victim to the frozen December air, yet she smiled as if nothing was going on.

The park around you was covered in snow. White was primarily the color that was plastered on everything, save for the dry stems of trees that were once covered in forest green leaves.

Your peeping hot coffee did nothing to warm up your hands, despite your best wishes and in the moment you had called victim to some specs of jealousy over Petra's gloved hands as they rubbed soothing over her own coffee.

"Of course, I had been meaning to talk to you as well."

"Oh you did?" Petra spoke with her eyebrows following the little surprise that was masking her tone. "To be honest, I didn't think you'd come."

"Yeah about that-"

"Can I please go first?" Petra cut you off.

Her huge hazel eyes that blinked into yours from your left side left you little to no space to deny her wish. Thus, by taking a sigh, you pushed past the quick beating of your heart and gestured her to go first with a kind smile on your face.

"Okay oof, thanks!" Petra huffed "look. Levi and I broke up. Now I know that you'll say it doesn't concern you, and frankly it'd be ideal if it didn't, but I know it does, because Levi explained to me what happened."

At that Petra slightly paused.

Naturallye first thing that came to your mind was the need to express an apology. Although, you weren't that sure if Petra would perceive the apology as sincere, you felt like you ought to give one to her. Yet her eyes blinked into yours further as she took another turn down the path you were walking on and you wordlessly followed asuit.

"I love Levi you know," she sighed "but Levi loves you. You're not over each other and it's painfully obvious, I mean you did just collided to eachother quite literally, not giving a single care about whether you couldn't have each other or not."

A sheer red colored tint painted your cheeks at her words.

Your skin pricked you, burning up a stingingly painful path to all of the pores on your face as shame took the form of an earth shattering wave. Your heart started heaping beats, hollering into the depths of your chest and you could hear it bounce inside your eardrums as if your whole body was hollow save for the jolting organ and the echo of the sound it made was bouncing around each fleshy wall.

Petra was right and you couldn't help but accept but stand the as she was lightning you with her words.

"It hurts to see that someone that I love doesn't love me back but it hurts more to see that you two are very miserable without eachother. I really thought you were a bitch you know."

At the sound of that, you let out a startled laugh.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you just gave us looks when we'd shoe up together somewhere or you'd simply leave, but I don't like turning my back on people and judging them like that. I'm in no place to judge anyone a coping mechanism."

Petra sighed. Her fingers curled strongly onto her cup, while her left palm went to support the cup by the bottom as she angled it on her lips. She made a tiny gulping noise as she drank a sip from her latte, her nose crinkling up as the hot beverage brushed over her sensitive tongue. In turn, you sipped similarly, mimicking Petra just hoping it would serve as a sign for her to go on with her speech.

"I might be hurt, but I vouch to help you and Levi resolve what's going on and get back together."

"You do?"

"Mhm"

"Petra I, I don't know what to say you- you're a literal angel." You admit and the guilt in your stomach only growled in its awakening.

You and Levi had hurt a wonderful person. Petra didn't need to be nice to you, she didn't need to offer to help you with anything but once you made yourself step inside her shoes you were able to see why she had perceived you the way that she initially had.

"I'm sorry."

Your voice was silent and stripped of any emotion other than shame yet Petra was beaming at you in response.

Her warm smile was elegant and comforting as she stared at you, taking another gulp of her drink with a soft giggle. Your eyes were locked with hers, saddened (e/c) irises staring into her hazel ones, as she smiled even more little by little.

It was strange.

There was a different kind of bubbling inside your chest and you knew because your heart wasn't hammering anymore, not was your stomach trying to be ripped apart in tiny pieces after it vored into your other intestines. You felt serene, at peace even.

It clicked to you that this is what must feel to be forgiven.

"It's fine, plus you guys kinda deserve each other." Petra laughed at your chocked inhale, pressing a comforting, gloved palm to your shoulder. "I'd rather find my happiness when I'm not in between two people that struggle to find theirs."

Petra nuzzled to the comfort of her jacket, giving you a scrunched up bunny smile. You knew it's not that she hoped you could be best friends after this. She simply wanted to make sure that she could do her best to help two people find happiness. And it wasn't all that bad, you figured. You didn't know what you would do were you in her place.

In a way, you admired Petra for being so strong.

"Besides, girls shouldn't bring down other girls."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry about what I did behind your back. I own up to my mistake. I can't take it back but I can promise that I won't become this toxic ever again."

You shot an apologetic side smile at her as you followed her tracks.

Taking a new look in your surroundings, you deeply inhaled the cold air, filling your lungs in shivering winter freshness. A few specs of snow were adorning Petra's hair as the fell from the sky in a dainty manner, licking the stray threads that popped from her wooly gloves.

There definitely was a commotion a few blocks away. You could hear sirens go off not so far from your spot but you chose to ignore them, it was typical for a city person to filter out unnecessary noise, and having to live in Trost added tons to what you had to filter or not.

"It's December twenty six and the two is back to being a Mayhem." Petra sighed.

"It's like we're Gotham or some shit."

"Gotham?" Petra blinked at you, earning a gasp from you.

"Step one to being the friend of someone who's majoring in comics-"

"Oh, friends yay!"

Shaking your head, to ignore the child like enthusiasm, you continued, "Please know the most well known fictional city, it's Batman's city too."

"OH!" Petra's mouth fell agape as she took in the information, but she quickly giggled again as she saw that you easily took a gulp of your beverage "you're right."

For what seemed like a second you felt at peace once again. Petra bubbled about how she wanted to apologise to Levi about her rather cold behavior last night, and explained in the most non detailed way how it was the memory of the passing of her mother that had caused her to become this grumpy.

"Don't worry Petra! But beware, you could be turning into Levi version two point oh and-"

A loud sound startled you, sending both you and Petra back a few steps. Dumbfounded, you stared at each other and around you, locking eyes with different by passers that were just as shocked as you.

"Maybe we should go back!" Petra suggested. You simply nodded, hearing a good amount of running footsteps coming to the direction of the block you were in. In any way, getting caught up with a manhunt wasn't in your plans for today

"Yeah maybe we shou-"

Your words were cut off absurdly, harshly and shockingly all together. As gunmetal orbs locked with yours, your eyelids shot open, hour mouth dropping to the snow covered concrete.

"Levi?"

Wait, Levi? That was actually so random

Before you could manage to process what was going on around you, or why on earth Levi had just popped up from the alley right across you another head splitting sound filled the air.

Levi -yes, this was indeed Levi, you just didn't really know how to process this- collapsed on his knees like a rag doll, his torso and head giving in to the exhaustion of his body. Once he fell, you stood frozen, shieldimg Petra with one hand as the two of you watched in horror while crimson started littering the sugary snow.

"Call an ambulance." You spoke dryly, eyes still wide with horror.

The people who had seemed to be after Levi quickly fell onto the hands of the hands of a handful of police men who were on their tracks, but you couldn't care to look at their faces. You just run towards Levi, always followed by a petrified Petra, your feet giving in as you kneeled right next to him, your fingers gingery ghosting over him just to inspect what was his condition.

You listened as Petra spoke with the emergency center in horror, explaining what was the scene before her eyes while struggling to keep herself from trembling.

"What's going on?" Shy muttered once she detached the phone off her ear.

"I'm pretty sure now is not the right time for a story, but Levi used to be in a street gang in his teens."

"Oh boy."

Oh boy indeed.

Here's your gentle reminder that constructive criticism makes me cry because I'm a baby

Taglist: @sasageyowrites @liddolwhynot2000 @ackermans-freedom-inc @callmepromise @nobody-knows-anymore @levisbrat25 @thethyri @hawkssnugget @berrijam @melancholicmonologue

[trulymadlysydney]

Somewhere In Time: Ten

“I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

tw: Death, Loss of Parent

Previous Chapters HERE

***Please Do Not Repost Without Permission***

March 10th, 1990, 11:54am

Seventeen year-old Oliver Ward sighs, glancing mindlessly out the window of the old retirement home and fighting a yawn.  

It isn’t that he doesn’t love his Saturday mornings spent with his ninety one year-old companion, because he does.  In fact, most Saturdays he forgets that this is even an extra credit assignment at all.  He knows, of course, how terrific this is going to look on his college applications-- but he doesn’t think of it like that.   Over the past month or so, he’s befriended the older gentleman he’s been assigned by his AP psychology teacher, and the old man has taken a liking to him as well.  Most Saturdays, Oliver loses track of the time because he finds himself lost in some story the old man is sharing with him.  

This Saturday, however, Oliver doesn’t much feel like socializing.

It isn’t anyone’s fault but his own. Not really, at least. The previous night had been spent tossing and turning in bed, with a total of two non-consecutive hours of sleep. He’s exhausted, he’s bummed, and he’s pretty sure he’s lost the girl of his dreams.

“Awful talkative today, aren’t you?”  The older gentleman speaks in his thick accent from his spot on his recliner, drawing Oliver from his thoughts and startling him.

Oliver turns, softening when he sees the man’s understanding smile.  He chuckles sheepishly. “Sorry, Mr. Styles. Got a lot on my mind I guess.”

The gentleman— Mr. Styles— nods knowingly. “Well, I figured as much,” he says. “And I know how that goes. Do you want to talk about it?”

Oliver sighs again, moving closer to Mr. Styles.  “I’m afraid it’ll bore you, sir.  And I’m not sure you’d understand.”

Mr. Styles grins a dimpled grin, with a twinkle in his eye.  “Try me.”

That’s something that Oliver loves about Mr. Styles. He’s never judged Oliver, no matter how silly he thinks he sounds, and honestly he gives better advice than anyone Oliver has ever known.  He seems to have an air of mystery about him-- he always has-- and Oliver is sure that Mr. Styles knows at least two secrets of the universe that he’s keeping to himself.

So he shrugs, taking a seat on the bed beside the old man. “Okay.  So. There’s…. a girl.”

Mr. Styles nods understandingly. “Always is, isn’t there?”

“She’s the grade below me. She’s my best friend, but lately it’s been…. I don’t know, kinda more than that?  I  think?”

“Mutually?”

“Yeah, I mean…” Oliver fiddles with his hands in his lap. “Yeah. We’ve been hanging out and stuff.  Even kissed a few times.”

Mr. Styles wiggles his eyebrows. “Oooh, I see.”

“But lately I feel like…” Olivier sighs. “I don’t know. Like she’s getting bored with me.”

Mr. Styles sits back further in his seat, reminiscent of a therapist in his comfy chair. “What makes you say that?”

“I think she wants me to like… commit.”

“Ah.” The old man chuckles. “I see.”

Oliver eyes the older gentleman, curious as to how Mr. Styles could possibly understand any of this. As far as Oliver knows, Mr. Styles has never been married. A few times, he’s mentioned a girl from his youth, but never anyone after that. All Oliver knew about the girl is that she up and left, leaving poor Mr. Styles alone and heartbroken. And truth be told, Oliver had always found it silly how Mr. Styles had never moved on from that.

Oliver shrugs. “Anyway… I dunno. She’s been playing hard to get recently, like maybe she’s bored with me?  Like, she flirts and stuff, but then when it doesn’t go further I feel like she gets annoyed.  And...I want to commit, but what if I’m getting mixed signals, you know? I mean like, what if that’s not actually what she wants? You feel me? What if I ruin what we have going by trying to label it?  And besides,” he sighs, “I find out soon if I got into Syracuse. And if I did get in, I would start there in the fall. What if she doesn’t want to do the long distance thing?”

Mr. Styles chuckles wittingly, but not in a condescending way.  “Well first of all, son, I think you’re completely overthinking this.”

This brings a smile to Oliver’s face. “I have been known to do that.”

“That being said, you seem to really like this girl.  And from the sound of things, she likes you as well.  Am I wrong?”

“Well, that’s the thing.  We’ve kissed and stuff, but like, what if I’m reading it wrong?”

“How can you possibly read a kiss wrong?”  Mr. Styles grins.

Oliver sighs.  “You’re right.  I know.  Feelings are just… really hard.”

“Who is the lucky lady anyway?”  Mr. Styles settles further into his seat.  “Can’t say I recall you ever mentioning having a girl.”

“Her name is Roni,” Oliver says.   “Well, Veronica. She goes to my school.  I think I may have mentioned that.”

Oliver has launched deeply into the backstory of how he and this girl met, completely unaware of the way that Mr. Styles’ face has gone entirely ghostly white.  The old man is frozen in his chair, unblinking, and hardly listening to a word Oliver has said.

He doesn’t even realize he’s cutting Oliver off when he speaks.  “I’m sorry… what did you say her name was?”

“Roni?”

“Last name?” Mr. Styles presses.

“Uhh… Elliot?”

If Mr. Styles didn’t look ill before, he certainly does now.  Oliver takes notice of this, rising to his feet. “Mr. Styles, are you alright?”

Mr. Styles blinks a few times, his breath heavy as shakes his head.  For whatever reason, he won’t look at Oliver now.  He looks at the wall, out the window, at the floor-- literally anywhere but at his young companion.  Oliver begins to grow worried, and he steps towards Mr. Styles, putting a concerned hand on his back.

“Should I call the nurse?”

It’s when Oliver asks this that Mr. Styles seems to regain some sense of consciousness back.  He blinks up at Oliver, almost like a curious little child, and shakes his head-- as if reminding himself to be present.  “No,” he says quietly.  “No, don’t call the nurse.”

“You’re scaring me,” Oliver admits.  “Where did you just go?”

Mr. Styles swallows thickly, eyes growing misty.  “You said… Veronica Elliot?”

Oliver nods.  “That’s right.”

The way that Mr. Styles scans Oliver’s face makes him grow anxious, and it becomes apparent that Oliver wants to let go and perhaps take a step back.  He’s a good kid though-- one who genuinely cares for Mr. Styles-- so he stays put.  “Sir?”

Mr. Styles lets out a shaky breath, obviously still processing everything that’s going on, before looking back up at Oliver  “I just--”  He trails off, noting for the first time the worry in the young boy’s eyes.  He softens just a bit.  

“Yes. I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine,” Oliver says.  “I can call the nurse, it’s not a big deal!  I just--”

“No,” Mr. Styles says, suddenly seeming more like himself than before.  “No, there will be no need for that, son.”

Oliver hesitantly relaxes, still keeping his eyes trained on Mr. Styles’ face. “What just happened?”

“It’s nothing,” Mr. Styles says, the slightest bit of color slowly returning to his face.  “I just… knew her mum.  That’s all.”

“Oh!”  Oliver seems to take this as an acceptable answer, obviously relaxing again.  “Yeah.  Her mom died like, five years ago actually.  It was super sad.  Car accident.”

“Five years ago,” Mr. Styles repeats, more to himself than to Oliver.  “God.”

“Yeah,” Oliver says, nodding.  “She’s okay! Lives with her grandparents. They’re super cool.”  He smiles suddenly, as if remembering something.  “They like me a lot.”

Mr. Styles smiles absently.  “I’ll bet they do,” he says gently.

“Anyway,” Oliver sighs,  “I don’t know.  Do you think I should go for it?”

Mr. Styles takes his time with his answer, still trying to process everything he’s hearing.  Oliver seems preoccupied with his own thoughts, which is good because he doesn’t notice the dampness of Mr. Style’s eyes.

What Oliver doesn’t know is that Mr. Styles is reliving every memory he has with the same girl Oliver is fretting over.  Mr. Styles is suddenly twenty-five years old again, in 1925, dancing in his living room with the girl from the future, and he’s young and head over heels in love with her.  He’s remembering everything that the young girl had told him about her timeline, about the boy named Oliver who was waiting in the future for her-- who befriended her shortly after her mother passed and asked her to be his girlfriend just before he graduated.  

This all checks out, and it makes Mr. Styles’ heart feel something it hasn’t felt in ages.  He blinks a few times, trying to clear out the moisture in his eyes.  

“Well,” Mr. Styles says, after a long pause.  “I think that… life is too short to let something so good pass you by.   Do you really like her?”

“So much, Mr. Styles.”  Oliver nods eagerly.  “And I think she likes me too, I’m just scared.”

Mr. Styles shakes his head, doing his best to cover up the shakiness in his own voice.  “Don’t be.  You need to make this girl your own.  You never know what tomorrow holds.  You don’t want to lose her, and spend the rest  of your days wishing you still had the chances that you have now.”

Oliver can tell that Mr. Styles is deep in his own head now, and he debates even speaking at all.  Mr. Styles continues on.  “Can’t even begin to tell you how much I wish I could go back and change some things.  Make some better decisions.”

“I know what you mean,” Oliver says, even though he really doesn’t.  How could he?

“And,” Mr.  Styles says, making an effort to sound less philosophical--less introspective-- and more human, “from the sounds of things, she really likes you, too, son.”

Oliver smiles.  “Yeah?”  

“Yeah.”  Mr. Styles swallows a lump in his throat.  “Take my advice, and don’t mess this up with her.  She sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of girl.”

“But what if--”

“No more ‘what if!’”  Mr. Styles sounds more stern than Oliver has ever heard him, and it takes Oliver aback.  “Get her.  Love her.  Love her now. You don’t realize how important she is, Oliver.  These feelings are real.  These feelings make life worth living.  You can’t pass them up because you’re too scared.”

“And if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“She does.”  Mr. Styles softens as soon as he speaks, as if realizing he’s being far too blunt.  “Oliver, she does.  Trust me on this one.”  

Oliver opens his mouth, then closes it.  Mr. Styles somehow seems to read his mind, and he continues speaking.  “Make her your girl.”

“You really think I should?”  Oliver asks quietly.

“I know you should.”

After a brief pause in which the two stand seemingly at a hold, Mr. Styles clears his throat  gently.

“Don’t let her pass you by,” he says, for emphasis.

Oliver smiles, nodding his head in finality.  “Alright,” he says.  “You’re right, Mr. Styles.  I can’t let her pass me by, can I?  I really like her, and--”

“And I know she likes you, too.”

“Yeah.  I’m gonna call her.”  

Oliver moves like he’s going to leave the room, stopping abruptly as if realizing that he’s here because of school.  The two seem to have the thought at the same time-- that Oliver is getting college credit just for spending a few hours a weekend with Mr. Styles, and they laugh awkwardly together.

“Sorry,” Oliver says.  “I didn’t mean to--”

“You know what you can do for me, son?”  There’s a smile on Mr. Styles’  face, but there is a serious edge to his tone of voice.  “Genuinely?”

“Anything,” Oliver says.  “Anything you need.”

“Bring her in.”  Mr. Styles smiles, contrasting Oliver’s confused expression.  “Bring her in, and let me meet her.  Hm?  Would love to meet her.”

“Yeah?”

Mr. Styles nods.  “Yeah,” he says, somewhat absently, but with a smile for Oliver nonetheless.  “Would love to see the young lady that’s done such a number on you.”

Oliver laughs, and even Mr. Styles lets out a personable chuckle-- as if he’s in on some joke that Oliver didn’t know he was keeping.

“I suppose I could bring her in,” Oliver says,  “but again, I don’t want it to be weird--”

“It won’t be,” Mr. Styles says.  The playful gleam still lingers in his eyes.  “What, am I not interesting enough for her?”

Oliver laughs.  “No, no! She’ll love you!”

The words hit the old gentleman’s heart in a way that Oliver doesn’t notice.

She did love him.  She does. She just isn’t aware of that yet.

“I hope you’re right,” Oliver adds. “About all of this, I mean. I hope she does like me and I’m not just… I dunno, reading too far into it?”

“I can assure you that you aren’t, Oliver.”

There is no trace of doubt on Mr. Styles face, and it makes Oliver both nervous and reassured.  He smiles.  “Alright then,” he says.  “I’ll talk to her.”

Mr. Styles relaxes into his chair, nodding his head in finality.  “Alright then,” he echoes.  “Good man.”

Oliver returns once again for his weekly visit the following Saturday, only this time, he’s hand in hand with his new girlfriend of four whole days.  He’d taken Mr. Styles’ advice and asked her to be his after confessing everything he was feeling for her.  She, of course, felt the same way, and though it didn’t come as a surprise to Oliver it did come as a great relief.

Roni hadn’t seemed as thrilled to go share the news with Mr. Styles, however, once Oliver brought it up.

“Why did we have to come so early though?” Sixteen year-old Roni whines, as she and her new boyfriend Oliver make their way into the Senior Citizen’s home.  “Like, couldn’t we have come in the afternoon?  I’m sure Mr. Style wouldn’t even know the difference.”

Oliver chuckles.  “It’s Mr. Styles,” he corrects, “With an S.  And he seemed really excited about this! This is the time he gave me, so this is the time we’re here.”

“Why was he so excited anyway?” Roni asks, picking at a hangnail on her thumb.  “He doesn’t even know me.”

“No,” Oliver says, “but he knows me.  And he helped me out a lot! Gave me a lot of advice about you.  Least I can do is introduce him, you know?”

“I guess,” Roni mumbles to herself as Oliver checks in at the front desk.

Everyone here seems to brighten at Oliver’s presence.  All the little old ladies know him by name, and he’s quite the charmer.  It’s one of the reasons Roni likes him so much, really.  He talks so fondly about his Saturday’s spent here, and Roni can’t think of a single person his age who would enjoy it as much as he does. It’s cute the way he gushes about Mr. Styles, and how he had mentioned him when he’d asked Roni to be his girlfriend-- officially-- four days ago.  

Truly, Roni feels like she owes a lot to this Mr. Styles, and she really can understand why he would want to meet her.  The least she can do is thank him for telling Oliver to man up and commit already.

Oliver clips his badge to the collar of his shirt and gives Roni a little visitor’s sticker on which he’s scribbled her name with a green sharpie.  He’s dotted the “i” with a little heart, and it makes Roni’s cheeks grow hot when she notices.  He smiles, nodding his head towards the receptionist and interlacing his fingers with Roni’s.

Roni follows her boyfriend down the long hallways, into the elevator (where she has a mini makeout session with him because, come on, who could resist him when he’s looking this cute?) and onto the third floor.

He leads her out into the hallway, trying his best to dismiss how flushed and messy he looks (honestly, Roni takes pride in her work) and giving Roni’s hand a subtle squeeze as they walk along.

Roni looks at the doors as they walk, subconsciously counting the numbers in her head  304, 305, 306… each room an entire home to these people.  Each room a final resting place for all of them.

Oliver stops walking in front of door 310, and suddenly Roni grows nervous.  Her stomach seems to do cartwheels as Oliver smiles down at her.  “You’re gonna love him,” he says quietly, as if to reassure her.  “He’s the coolest.”

Before Roni even has time to reply, Oliver is rapping his knuckles against the large wooden door.  Two quick knocks, followed by one that seems out of rhythm with the other two.

After a few seconds, nothing happens. Roni shifts her weight to her other foot and waits, somewhat impatiently, wanting nothing more than to go home and make out with her boyfriend.  Oliver seems to feel her energy, giving her side a few playful yet charged squeezes that make her giggle.

“No!” she squeaks, squirming out of his grasp.  “Don’t do that here!”

The door opens as Roni is mid giggle, and she and Oliver are met with a little old man, hunched over and looking at them with a warm and expectant smile.  He’s dressed nicer than Harry’s ever seen him dress, and on his head rests a little gray cap that’s probably as old as he is.

“Oliver,” the old man says by way of a greeting.  And then he looks at Roni.  

The reaction he has to Roni is strange to say the least.  It doesn’t make Roni uncomfortable by any means, but something in his demeanor shifts, and he seems to grow a hundred times more serious.  His stare is intense; so much so that it makes Roni shift her gaze.  His eyes seem to grow strangely misty, and his jaw begins trembling-- as if he’s about to cry.

He looks at Roni like he’s known her all his life, and it’s strange.  She almost feels bad that she doesn’t recognize him as well.

She clears her throat, trying to lighten up the now tense silence.   ‘Hi!” she says, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear and holding out her hand.  “I’m Roni.”

Mr. Styles swallows audibly, his trembling jaw hardly calming as a smile tugs on the corners of his lips.  “Roni,” he says.  He takes her hand in his and gives it a squeeze, never once removing his eyes from hers.  “How wonderful it is to finally meet you.”

Roni looks at Oliver, wondering if he feels the same intense vibes that she’s feeling as well.  She laughs awkwardly, unsure of what else to do. “I’ve--uh-- heard a lot about you, Mr. Styles!”

Mr. Styles grins, an old hidden dimple flashing amongst the wrinkles of his cheeks.  “All bad, I hope,” he says, and now Oliver laughs.

“Of course,” he says.  “I had to let her know what a menace you were!”

Mr. Styles laughs, sounding suddenly young and full of life again.  He moves slowly to the side.  “Come in, please.  Make yourselves comfortable!”

Roni and Oliver share a glance and a quick smile before they enter the room.  It isn’t much, but it’s cozy.  Roni is surprised when she’s met with a delicious vanilla smell emanating from a candle in the corner of the room. (Not that she’d been expecting the place to stink, of course, but she absolutely had expected it to smell like old people, which it did not.)

“Wow,” Oliver says, as if even he is surprised with the state of the room.  “Mr. Styles, you cleaned this place up nice!”

Mr. Styles grins.  “But of course,” he says.  “You have to when you have a pretty girl coming over!”  He looks at Roni.  “Does this boy not clean up for you when you’re spending time together?”

Roni giggles.  “He does.  Although I have to say, the vanilla candle is an excellent touch.  I don’t even think Oliver owns a candle!”

Mr. Styles shakes his head, a playful smile on his cheeks.  “What a shame.  Oliver, you best buy some candles for your lady!”

Oliver and Roni both laugh.  “Vanilla is my favorite,” Roni comments.

“Somehow I had a hunch,” Mr. Styles replies with a playful wink.

With every passing minute that turns into an hour, the three grow more and more comfortable together. It isn’t weird, or forced, and Roni marvels at how easy it is to talk to Mr. Styles.  He asks her questions about her life, oddly fascinated by every word that comes out of her mouth.  The way he watches her with his undivided attention makes her feel important.

He plays music from a little tape recorder that sits in the window of his room.  It takes him a moment to figure it out, and Oliver has to help him a bit, but he finally gets there.  Roni doesn’t recognize any of the music playing (nor does she realize the way Mr. Styles watches her reaction to a few specific songs very closely), but she enjoys the tunes nonetheless.

He shares memories associated with each song; what specific stories each song calls to his mind. And Roni listens, fascinated with every single one of them, realizing that she could genuinely listen to this old man speak about his youth for days.

A stack of books on the nightstand near his bed draws Roni’s attention at some point, and she rises to her feet to go examine them further. Mr. Styles notes her movements and smiles, almost  knowingly, to himself.   She thumbs at the one on the top of the pile, a small menu from some pizza place marking his spot towards the back of the book.  She cocks her head to the side to get a better view of the books title:

Alternate Realities: by Lawrence Leshawn

She blinks a few times, the concept of an alternate reality very new to her.  Without thinking, she picks the book up and scans the back of it.  She glances back at the pile, noting the various ones on time travel, meditation, and astral projection.  Time travel being the only topic of the other three books that she’d ever considered before, this discovery of books feels like a landmine of information.

“Bit nerdy, innit?”  Mr. Styles’ voice pulls Roni from her thoughts, and she turns to him, still holding the book in her hands.  His eyes twinkle.  “Is that what the kids are saying these days?  ‘Nerdy?’”

Roni giggles.  “It is.  But this isn’t nerdy.”

“Ohh,” Mr. Styles says, playfully brushing away her words with his hand.  “Come now.  Yes it is.”

“You’ll never get Roni to agree with that,” Oliver speaks up.  “Haven’t I told  you before?  She’s super into all that!”

Roni feels her cheeks go hot with embarrassment, but Mr. Styles’ only smiles at her.  “No kidding!”

“I mean…” Roni trails off shyly, worried she’s about to make a fool of herself. “Yeah.  Kinda.  It’s silly.”

“It’s not silly,” Mr. Styles replies quickly, a hint of gravity to his words.  “Never say that.”

Roni debates telling Mr. Styles everything; about how she’s trying to find her mother, about how she’s already tried (and been unsuccessful) multiple times, and about how he is the first person (other than Oliver) who hasn’t actually thought she was silly for this at all.

But she’s only just met Mr. Styles, and she doesn’t want to bombard him with her own personal life story just yet-- nor is she certain he would really care.  So she only shrugs, a soft smile spreading across her cheeks.

“Yeah. I just… think it’s neat.  That’s all.”

There’s a look on Mr. Styles’ face that seems to say that he’s interested, but he doesn’t want to push her.  He waits patiently for her to continue, but when she doesn’t, he tries pressing just a tiny bit.  “Any particular reason?”

Even Oliver is watching her now, waiting for her answer even though he’s already known for a while. He offers her an encouraging smile, and Roni hesitates briefly before speaking   “I just want to go back and see my mom again.  She passed like five years ago and I just…”  She trails off, feeling silly despite the understanding looks on both Oliver and Mr. Styles’ faces.

“I understand.” Mr. Styles speaks up after a few moments of silence.  Roni doesn’t notice the all knowing smile on his face, or the way his eyes have grown damp.  She doesn’t catch the way he swallows down the lump in his throat.   Or how he looks at her the same way she looks out the window: pensive and lost in thought.

“Anyway,” Roni sighs, halfway through a laugh.  “I don’t know.  Oliver is the only one who believes me and even then, I’m not sure he really does.”

“I do!” Oliver laughs, shrugging almost defensively.  “I do.  I just don’t know if they’ve like… I dunno, developed some way to time travel yet.  I don’t know if technology has come that far, you know?  What  do you think, Mr. Styles?”

Both Roni and Mr. Styles seem to be deep in their own little worlds, but it’s lost on Oliver as he waits for a response from the older gentleman.  Mr. Styles smiles to himself, chuckling gently.  “I think it’s entirely possible,” he says, voice quiet.   “And I hope miss Roni never gives it up.”

Roni smiles, turning to face the old man.  “You really mean that?” she asks, stepping towards him.  “Like, you really think it’s possible?”

“I can promise you it is,” he says.  “I’m certain of it.”

Roni, realizing she’s still holding the Alternate Realities book, holds it up and gestures  at it with her free hand.  “What about this stuff?  I’ve never really heard of it.”

Mr. Styles grins, obviously glad she’s asked.  He shifts in his seat, speaking slowly.  “Have either of you ever heard of a parallel universe?”

Roni and Oliver both shake their heads, and Mr. Styles raises his eyebrows.  “No?  Well.  It’s a plane of existence, similar to the very one we’re living in right now now, that co-exists with our own.  It is said that there are multiple.”

“Multiple… existences?” Roni questions.

“That’s right,” Mr. Styles continues.  “Not much is known about them.  Especially considering that it isn’t even known if they exist or not.  But if they do, it is said that some are wildly different than your current existence now, while others are exactly the same with only a few minor differences.”

“Gnarly!” Oliver exclaims.  “So like, somewhere out there, I exist but I’m a billionaire?”

Mr. Styles chuckles.  “It’s possible.”

“Wait wait wait,” Roni says, significantly less convinced than her boyfriend.  “So you mean that somewhere out there in the world, there’s another Roni?  Who has no idea I exist?”

“We don’t know.”  Mr. Styles shrugs.  “Maybe.  Or maybe she knows all about you.”

Roni shakes her head, trying to wrap her mind around all this new information.  “That’s nuts.”

“Not really,” Oliver offers. “Kinda makes sense if you think about it.”

“So wait” Roni says, setting the book on the dresser and walking to stand by Mr. Styles.  “I told you why I’m into this.  Why are you into this?”

The old man goes quiet, smiling a tight lipped smile and hesitating as if really giving thought to his answer. “I like to think that in another reality, somewhere in time, I’m with my honey.”

Roni softens.  “Oh, I see.  Did she--”  She’s about to ask if Mr. Styles’ girl passed away as well, but she thinks better of it, unsure as to whether or not that’s an appropriate question.

Mr. Styles chuckles quietly, knowing exactly where Roni was going with her question. “I lost her,” he explains, because it isn’t technically a lie.  “Many, many years ago.”

“Oh.”  Roni frowns.  “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”  At this point, it’s impossible for him to hide the way his voice cracks.  Roni looks at him, then averts her eyes, as if she feels guilty for hearing it.  Oliver sighs, stepping forward.

“Mr. Styles--”

“You remind me of her,” Mr. Styles says, ignoring Oliver.  The look on his face makes it seem like he’s got more on his mind.  

“Yeah?” Roni steps towards Mr. Styles, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He sighs, reaching up to place his hand on top of hers.  “Yeah,” he says. “More than you’d even believe.”

“Wish I could’ve met her.”

Mr. Styles grins up at her, swallowing thickly and patting her hand.  “Yeah.  She was my honey.”

He takes a deep breath, looking away from Roni and glancing out the window.  There’s a charged silence.  Oliver squirms uncomfortably, but Roni stays right where she is, waiting patiently for Mr. Styles to continue.

“I think she’s doing just fine,” Mr. Styles says.  He smiles up at Roni.  “Wherever she is.”

“Maybe she’s with my mom,” Roni offers.

Mr. Styles closes his mouth, blinks back a few of his tears, and nods his head.  “Perhaps she is.  Wouldn’t that be something.”

“I didn’t mean to like… make you sad or anything, Mr. Styles--”

“You didn’t, darling.” The old man shakes his head.  “Don’t be silly.”

Somehow, Roni doesn’t believe him.

The subject is swiftly changed and the rest of their visit goes by relatively smoothly.  Mr. Styles is back to his cheery self before Roni can even think twice about the interaction they’ve just shared, and soon the three are laughing and chatting away like best friends again.

All too quickly does their visit come to an end.  They say their goodbyes, although it’s obvious that Mr. Styles doesn’t want their time together to be over.  He looks almost emotional to be saying goodbye to Roni, something that neither of the two teenagers seem to understand.

After he gives her a warm embrace, careful not to hold her too long or, heaven forbid, make her feel uncomfortable, Mr. Styles pulls away, holding Roni at arm’s length.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

Confused, Roni cocks her head to the side.  “For?”

“You’ve made me feel young again.  I cannot even begin to express how badly I needed this.”

Roni smiles.  “Oh.  You’re welcome then!”  She giggles.  “It was so nice meeting you, Mr. Styles.”

“The pleasure was all mine, honey.”  His hands tremble as he lets go of her.  He turns to Oliver.  “You bring her back to visit sometime soon, alright?”

Oliver chuckles.  “I will.  But don’t go liking her more than you like me, now.  I’ve been here way longer.”

Mr. Styles laughs.  “Sure,”  he says,   “but she is prettier.”

Oliver slings his arm over Roni’s shoulder.    “Well I can’t argue with that, can I?”

When they finally do go their separate ways, Roni and Oliver playfully chase each other out to Oliver’s car-- blissfully unaware of the way that Mr. Styles watches them from his bedroom window with tears streaming down his wrinkled cheeks. They don’t know that Mr. Styles doesn’t leave his bedroom for the entire rest of the  day-- to the point that the caretakers at the home begin to worry about him.  

They don’t know that Mr. Styles has just reunited with his honey,  after nearly sixty-five years of looking for her, and that she has obviously no idea herself.

Oliver continues his weekly visits to Mr. Styles room for a few more weeks, noting that he is completely unlike himself, until mid April when Mr. Styles passes away.  

Oliver attends his funeral.  Roni, visiting a cousin out of town, does not.

Both Roni and Oliver eventually forget about the old man completely,  moving on with their lives and living together in blissful ignorance of  just how odd time can be.

It isn’t until ten years later, in April of 2000, that Roni  seems to recall the little old man, realizing with immense sadness how significant he really was.

With a heart shattering sob, she hopes that he’s with his honey, somewhere in time, just like he said.

------

December 31st, 1999, 11:54pm

It is ridiculously bright when Roni tries to open her eyes.  

She opens her eyes too quickly at first, immediately regretting it and squeezing them shut again.  The act of closing them once more, however, pushes a hot tear that’s been waiting for release from the corner of one eye  

And suddenly, it all comes flooding back to her.

Harry, 1925, Violet LaRue, the ocean, her mother…

She is so overwhelmed all at once with emotions that she grows sort of nauseous, and she sits up immediately to try and stop the spinning of the room around her.  

The room --her and Oliver’s shared bedroom-- looks completely untouched, as if she’d never left.  There is hip-hop music booming downstairs, lots of chattering, and a smell in the air that can only be described as drunk people.  The silence in the room, however, contrasts the chaos that’s occurring downstairs, and it makes her head pound.

Roni looks around slowly, noticing the skimpy, revealing party dress she’s wearing that clings to her every curve. It looks untouched as well, albeit a bit disheveled, and she reaches a cautious hand down to smooth it over her lap.

She hears Oliver’s booming laugh downstairs, and the sound feels like a stab to the heart. He must be completely wasted. The clock on the wall reads 11:54pm, and she knows she has to get back down to the party before the clock strikes midnight.

Never in her entire life has Roni felt anything like the feeling she’s currently experiencing.  

Surely she couldn’t have dreamt it all.  It was real-- Harry was real, and seeing her mother was real.  Besides, the fact that she’s even crying right now tells her that she had to have been experiencing something physical.  

Which reminds her…

Roni rises to her feet and makes her way over to the mirror hanging on the back of the door.  She pulls the neckline of her dress down, and feels her own breath catch in her throat when she finds what she’s looking for.

There, in the exact spot on her chest that she’d been anticipating it to be, is a bruise left by Harry.  The last remaining physical reminder of his existence.

With a shaky hand, she gently brushes her thumb over the purpling skin.  It stings, just a bit, but it’s real.  It’s there.  And it’s too much for Roni to handle.

Grateful for the cover of the commotion downstairs, Roni can’t help herself but to let out a pathetic sob as everything comes flooding over her.  How could she have been with Harry not even five minutes ago?  And her mother?  How was her mother just there and now suddenly she’s gone again?  

How can she be expected to go on in a world where neither of them exist, and she’s the only one with knowledge of what she’s just experienced?

She collapses to her knees, eyes closing and another choking sob echoing from her throat.  She reaches up to wipe her damp eyelashes, mindful of the fact that sooner or later she’s going to have to go downstairs and face everybody again— which she can’t do with a face full of runny makeup.

But right now she doesn’t care.  Right now, she’s overwhelmed, and upset, and deeply, deeply missing the love of her life.

It’s been ages since she’s cried this hard, and it feels somewhat therapeutic, although it doesn’t fix the terrible ache in her heart. Her throat hurts and her chest heaves. She reaches up to cover her own mouth to quiet her wails as her heart feels like it’s physically breaking.  

She misses him.  She misses him so much.

On top of that, having her mother so close to her after so long without her--only to have to leave her once more-- is more painful than she had ever anticipated it would be.  

Roni remains like this for another minute or so, until she’s drawn by her thoughts when she hears her own name faintly downstairs.  Someone asks where she is, and Oliver slurs out that she’s been gone for a while.  When someone suggests that he go find her and he jubilantly agrees, Roni panics.

“Shit.”  She reaches up and wipes at her snotty nose; stumbling awkwardly to her feet and making her way to the mirror once again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”  

Roni scrambles to fix her hair and wipe away the splotchy mascara stains under her eye.  She prays that Oliver is too drunk to even notice that she’s crying, and she swallows down the intense heartache still in her throat.  When she’s at least somewhat satisfied with her appearance, she hears footsteps coming down the hallway— her cue to leave.  With a deep breath, she opens the bedroom door just in time to eee Oliver approaching.

Oliver, with his sweet, drunken smile, immediately opens his arms. “Ronnaaaaaay!” He says, by way of greeting her.  “There you are!” He doesn’t wait for her to respond, instead he just wraps her up in his arms and gives her a big, suffocating squeeze.  He pulls away to press an obnoxious kiss to her forehead, and it breaks Roni’s heart even more.  

On any other occasion, she would find this unbearably adorable. But now, the scent of the alcohol mixed with his cologne is making her even more nauseous than she already was.

After a few more wet pecks to her forehead, he squishes her cheeks in his hand and kisses his way down her face, pausing only once he reaches her mouth and realizes it’s wet and salty.  He pulls away, not removing his hands from her cheeks, and furrows his eyebrows as he scans her face. “You been crying?”

Roni knows that if she opens her mouth, she’ll lose control again. So she only smiles, turning away and giggling softly as she nods.

Oliver doesn’t seem to find this as humorous as Roni does, and he tilts his head so that he’s once again in her line of vision. “Heyyy, hey,” he coos. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

She sniffs, trying her hardest to keep her light smile on her face. “It’s nothing,” she says, throat raspy and voice hardly above a whisper. “I promise.”

“It’s not nothing,” he says, wiping at Roni’s damp face and gently guiding her back into their bedroom.  He’s thoughtful like that-- he doesn’t want Roni to feel it necessary to squash her emotions should anyone walk by.  He knows she wouldn’t want anyone else to see her crying like this. He doesn’t close the door fully, leaving only a crack, before turning to Roni.

She doesn’t say anything, but the way he’s being so ridiculously sweet to her is making her want to cry harder. This isn’t fair; not fair to her and definitely not to him.  She crosses her arms over her torso, feeling ridiculously vulnerable under his gaze.

He gives her a sympathetic smile, and there’s a look in his eyes that comes across almost as if he knows what’s going on.  She lets out a little half laugh/half sob, and she feels closer to him than she expected to in this moment. She speaks.

“Are you gonna say something?”

Oliver cuts her off, speaking only a half second after her. “You tried that time travel junk again, didn’t you?”

His words feel like a slap to the face, but they aren’t exactly wrong.  She stays frozen, mouth agape, and then wilts.  

“Yeah,” she whispers, because what else is there for her to say?

“Ohhh, babe.” Oliver steps towards her, wrapping her in his arms. I told you it wasn’t gonna work.”

Roni knows she should have expected that kind of response from him, but still.  Ouch.  

For a split second, she almost loses it.  She almost tells him everything; about how it did work, about how she’s actually been gone for a little over a week now-- not just a few minutes--, and about how hard it was to find her way back. She wants to mention seeing her mom, and she wants to rub it in his face. “You were wrong! You were wrong about it all! I saw my mom! She hugged me!”

It’s when she considers telling him about Harry, however, that some sense is knocked back into her.

Just the mere, brief thought of Harry makes her want to break down again, and subconsciously the mark on her chest that Harry had left begins to sting.  She chews the inside of her cheek so hard it hurts.

“I’m sorry, honey.”  Oliver’s use of the pet name that Roni had grown so used to hearing from Harry’s mouth makes her nauseated.  She tries to break free from Oliver’s grasp, but he holds her tighter.  “I know how much you wanted it to work.”

“Stop,” she whispers.

He doesn’t hear her.

“I know you’ve tried for years, but haven’t you been through enough heartbreak?”  Oliver sighs.  “I really think it’s time you give it up, Ron.  I don’t know why you won’t just listen to me about this stuff.”

“Stop it.”  Roni finally does break out of Oliver’s embrace, and in his drunken state he blinks dumbly back at her.

“Did I say something?”

“Fuck’s sake,” she says, wiping the tears on her cheeks.  “You’re right, okay?  I’m an idiot.  I’m done trying.  I quit.  Is that what you want to hear? Can we fucking stop?”

Oliver frowns, hesitantly taking a step towards Roni.  “Babe, I didn’t mean--”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Roni says, harsher than intended.  “Okay?  Drop it.  Please.  I’m begging.  I just want to go to bed.”

“But it’s almost midnight.”  Oliver is pouting now, and although it should make Roni soften a bit, it only makes her angry.

Oliver takes a more definitive step in Roni’s direction.  “I don’t want to start the new year fighting with you, babe.  Can we just go back down to our party?  We can talk about this tomorrow.” He shrugs.  “Or not! We don’t have to ever talk about it again if you don’t want to.  I just want to bring in the new year kissing you, surrounded by our friends.  So can we just… please?”

Roni scans his face, feeling more and more on the verge of breakdown with every passing second.  She closes her eyes, wishing she were anywhere but here, and covers her face with her hands.  “God,” she groans, before taking a big breath and opening her eyes again.  “Fine.  Sure.  Let’s go.”

Oliver smiles softly, holding out his hand timidly for her to take.  “Sure you’re not mad?”

It isn’t Oliver’s fault.  Of course it isn’t.  So how can Roni be angry with him?

She sighs, trying to bitterly laugh off a tear that’s threatening to roll down her cheek and ignoring his hand.  “Yeah,” she says quietly.  “I’m sure.”

“Not sure I believe you,” Oliver chuckles, “But okay.”  He steps in, closing the gap between him and Roni and puckering his lips.  He speaks in a babyish voice that, in any other circumstances, would absolutely melt Roni.  “Gimme kiss?”

It makes Roni even more upset than she already is, but who is she to deny Oliver? He is none the wiser as to what’s going on, and she can’t exactly drop this bomb on him right now. Not when he’s drunk.  Not when there’s a party going on downstairs.

Not when they’ve been together for so many years with absolutely no problems before this.

Before Roni even has time to process what’s happening, Oliver is taking her wrist in his hand and pulling her impossibly closer to him.  He kisses her, softly at first, and then a bit more passionate once their lips are fastened together.  

It’s Oliver who is making all the effort then; tongue maneuvering it’s way into Roni’s mouth as seductively as he can manage.  Roni would have no objections to this in any other situation.  In fact, she would welcome this.  The normal Roni would suggest she and Oliver skip out on the midnight countdown altogether, in fact, and elect to stay up here bringing in the new year whilst fucking like rabbits.

But not now.  Of course not now.  In fact, probably not ever again.  How could she ever go back to Oliver now?  After Harry?  After everything she’d felt for Harry?

How could she have done this to Oliver?

She gently pushes Oliver off of her, hoping he doesn’t note the tears in her eyes.  “Please,” she says quietly.  “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”  Oliver giggles,  “Kiss your boyfriend?  You scared our friends will catch on?  Start thinking we might have crushes on each other?  Assume you think I’m hot?”

Roni knows Oliver is playing around, but she genuinely is not in the mood for that right now, and she’s afraid that if he says much else she’ll snap.  She groans, leaning in and pressing the most bland, unemotional kiss to his lips.  “Lets go,” she says.  “Please.  We’re going to miss the countdown.”

She begins making her way out of the room with Oliver close behind her.  “I expect a much better kiss than that when the ball drops!” Oliver says. “Much, much better!”

Roni’s heart is pounding in her ears so loudly she can hardly hear herself think. Her face grows hot while the inside of her body feels cold.  She’s having a panic attack, no doubt about it, and for once she’s glad that everyone is going to be too drunk to acknowledge it.

“Ron?”  Oliver asks as he and Roni begin descending the stairs. “Hey, Ron? Baby… will you stop a minute?”

“I don’t want to miss the ball drop,” Roni says, refusing to turn around and trying her hardest to sound like her breathing is under control.

Oliver stops her, putting his hand on her shoulder. “Sweetheart,” he says tenderly. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m not being weird,” Roni insists, more urgently than intended.  She sighs (the shakiness of her breath incredibly obvious to both of them) and softens as best she can.  

“I’m not being weird,” she repeats. “Just tired.”

“You know if something is going on you can tell me, right?” Oliver sounds more sober than he has in hours, and the way he looks at Roni makes her insides shake with guilt.

She opens her mouth to speak, but has to forcibly stop herself when she almost says Harry’s name. She scans his face, so genuinely concerned and yet ridiculously kind, and she swallows down the vomit rising in her throat.  “Yeah,” she says “I know.”

Oliver smiles.  “Okay then.”  He gives her shoulder a squeeze and follows  her lead back into the living room.

Roni feels like she’s in a dream as she moves;  like her body is here physically but her mind is elsewhere.  In the strangest way possible, her brain feels small and disconnected entirely.   She can see everyone cheering when she and Oliver walk in.  She can feel her friend put a red solo cup filled with alcohol into her hand.  She can hear her name being called, but she doesn’t register it.  She doesn’t register anything that’s going on at the moment, actually.

Her attention is briefly caught when she hears people start counting down, signaling that the ball is about to drop.  Their exuberant voices sound far away, however, as if she’s hearing them from the next room over.  Her face feels cold and her hands feel sweaty, and she thinks maybe if everyone would scoot over a bit she’d be able to breathe better.

“18….17…. 16….”

Someone accidentally bumps into Roni, knocking into the cup in her hand and sloshing a bit of its contents onto her dress.  No one reacts; in fact, no one else even notices. Oliver gives her hand a quick squeeze, pulling her close to him and wrapping his arm around her waist.

“...12… 11….”

Roni’s ears burn.  She knows where she is, but she cannot, for the life of her, focus on a single thing.  Her heart is hurting.  This doesn’t feel right.  She shouldn’t be here.

Slowly, the room around her begins spinning.  Roni wobbles a bit on her feet and Oliver catches her, probably chalking her wooziness up to her being as drunk as he is. She almost wishes she was, because maybe that would make everything hurt less.

“...8… 7…6”

Roni’s throat feels like it’s closing in on itself, and her mind seems to be running far behind her actual body.  She tries to blink herself into some clarity, glancing around the room.  She’s looking--hoping-- for someone who she knows damn well isn’t there.  Someone who couldn’t even try to be there.  The only person she cares to see at this point.

“...3...2...1…”

The entire room erupts in cheers, which definitely doesn’t help the throbbing in Roni’s brain, and the song Auld Lang Syne blasts from the tv.  There is nothing but chaos surrounding Roni, and she almost gags at the feeling of the lump in her throat.   She opens her mouth to say something, but is promptly cut off when Oliver pulls her in by her hips, fastening his lips to hers in a kiss that feels a far too enthusiastic for Roni’s taste.

The way he’s holding her by her hips would be enough to make her swoon on any other occasion. But now it makes her feel suffocated, and she doesn’t even close her eyes as she gives Oliver a half-assed kiss back.

No one else in the room seems to be aware of what’s going on.  They’re all too drunk, too busy making out with their respective partners/fuck buddies/love interests for the evening, to seem to care or even notice at all that Roni’s eyes are wide open.  The guilt, the pain, the longing for Harry-- all of it wraps itself around Roni’s heart and squeezes like a python.

Oliver pulls away, a dopey smile on his face.  “Happy New Year, baby!”

He looks so thrilled; so beyond naive to not only the fact that she’s hurt him in what she’s certain will be an unforgivable way, but also the fact that she is more concerned with missing Harry than feeling much else at all right now.

“Roni?”

A voice from off to the side catches her attention, and she turns in slow motion to see her and Oliver’s mutual friend, Zach, squinting at her.  “Ron, you don’t look so good.”

“Wait, yeah,” comes Zach’s girlfriend, Skye.  “Girl, are you okay?”

Roni hears their questions.  She hears them, but she doesn’t process them.  Zach and Skye aren’t the only people who seem to be concerned, as more and more people around them quickly catch on.

“Sweetheart?” comes Oliver’s voice, and Roni turns, almost drunkenly.

“Is she drunk?”

“Did she take something?”

“She looks green!”

“Baby?” It’s Oliver’s voice that breaks through the deafening noise the most, although Roni still can’t even really process what he’s saying. “Roni?  Hun, can you hear me?”

“Everyone step back!”

“Let her breathe!”

“Can someone get her some water?”

“Ron?”

Her breathing is so shallow now that she can actually hear herself gasping for air.  She feels like she’s choking.  She hates this.  She hates these people.  She doesn’t want to be here.

Where she wants to be is with Harry.  Alone with him, in his tiny apartment that isn’t even half the size of the room.  The year 2000 nothing but a vague memory, something she knows is so far in the future that  she’ll never have to worry about it.  She should have stayed.

Goddammit, she should have stayed.

As she looks around the room at these people who she should love-- who she should be thrilled to be surrounded by-- she realizes that she’s never felt more alone.  Not a single one of them would understand what’s going on. How is she supposed to continue on into the new year-- the new millennium-- feeling so isolated in her own feelings?

“I can’t breathe.”

She can feel herself saying the words, yet her own voice sounds so fuzzy and far away.

“She can’t breathe!” someone repeats.  “Everyone back up!”

“Can we get her some water?”

“Ron?”

It’s too much.  It’s all too fucking much.

Roni’s knees wobble a bit before she feels them buckle.  The last thing she sees before hitting the ground is Oliver worriedly scrambling to catch her.  

And then everything is dark.

[thebadboyfanclub]

Maybe It’s Better This Way (Klaus x Reader)

Requested by anon. I love writing for Klaus but it can get very tricky since there are so many scenarios that have already been done and I try to do something that isn’t that much on the forefront if that makes sense. Enjoy!

P.S I suggest you read this while listening to George Michael- Careless Whisper cause it is based on the vibe of the song

Klaus dreaded seeing (y/n), not because he hated her- quite the opposite actually- he loved her so dearly that when she got caught caught in the crossfire between him and his wonderful father Mikael, his father used her as a weapon to weaken him, luckily she survived but the only reason she got to live was because Stefan had turned her. (Y/n) was one of the few people that appreciated humanity, it gave her a sense of grounding, reminded her that she was this little thing on this huge earth. When she turned it was the new world of possibilities and Klaus felt responsible, it all became so much for him, he felt like he had to be around her 24/7 and (Y/n) saw how controlling he had gotten even though she was immortal. 

One night she left, in the middle of the night like a ghost and left the country, no one new her whereabouts for a few decades. Until she showed up to help the Salvatore brothers and defend Elena, she was informed about what Elena’s blood meant to Klaus and she owed Stefan so she braced herself for going against the man that she loved.

In classic Niklaus Mikaelson style him and his siblings had decided to throw a ball and what better way to see your ex lover than her attending your party with your new nemesis? She even went to buy a dress for the occasion, she wanted to make an entrance, it was the first time he would see her again and if he daggered her she need to go out in style. The dress was an Off the Shoulder 3D Lace Flower Sweetheart Bridal Ball Gown in pastel blue, Stefan had made fun of her for choosing an actual wedding gown nevertheless fashion is fashion and when she laid eyes on it she couldn’t find it in her heart to skip it.

She walked in the mansion she knew very well with the company of Damon, who was also dressed to impress, (Y/n) and Damon shared their love for fashion and the dry and dark humor so she needed him to keep her up and running with his clever remarks. 

“You are trembling”

“That’s because I’m scared”

She admitted right before she stepped foot on the main room, looking around and letting all the memories flood her mind, it was like no one else was in the room, as the memories took form and she saw them two running around and being a couple. A lump in her throat started to form, making it hard to breath as she tried to swallow it down, squeezing Damon’s arm as a way to signal him for her weird mix of emotions.

“You’ll be alright, if he wanted to hurt you he would have found you ages ago”

“I suppose you are right, I need alcohol”

Klaus had seen her walk in, he was on the top of the stairs, hanging in the shadows with his brother Elijah, both of them stunned by (y/n) walking in the room, arms linked with none other than Damon Salvatore and looking as stunning as always.

“After all this time”

Elijah spoke first, understanding that his little brother was still trying to comprehend the situation that was unravelling right in front of his eyes. Klaus felt like time froze, everything else leaving his sight and it was only (y/n), walking in his home in her dress, not even walking to him it seemed like she was floating around like a fairy princess  that came to bless everyone with her existence. Her ethereal presence, her untouchable beauty, the way she seized to exist brought him to this indescribable state of shock, he couldn’t even express what he was feeling when he saw her.

“Brother, are you alright?”

“No”

He finally managed to utter out. Of course he wasn’t, he had imagined this so many times yet he never thought it would happen, he had accepted it, shoved his feelings back and tried to understand why she left and now here she was, strolling in and bringing back everything he had hid for all those years.

“You don’t have to talk to her”

“I want to Elijah... I must”

His legs moved on their own, with their target being on (y/n). He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to react, it didn’t matter, he just needed to be next to her, to hear her voice. His mind was clouded by millions of thoughts and questions that he wanted her to answer, if he managed to get them out. 

“(Y/n)”

He called for her as he stood behind her. She froze, thinking over her if it was too late to run or just pass out, her legs were already shaking so it wouldn’t be that hard to just collapse. The glass of champagne she had just grabbed reached her mouth for a big sip of encouragement before she slowly turned to face the man she had shared so much with. He looked as handsome as he had always been, yet the harsh stare brought her a wave of goosebumps.

“Hello Niklaus”

“Can you tell your friend to give us a minute?”

The word friend was filled with venom. He couldn’t understand why she had chosen him as a companion, another factor of his annoyance was that their appearance together meant they knew where she was and chose to not share that information with him. (Y/n) looked over at Damon and nodded, a sign that she felt confident enough to be alone with him, she wasn’t but she felt like she owed him that much. Damon excused himself and walked away to give them some privacy, he understood that the pressure that was put on (y/n) was a lot for one to handle, so if she needed a minute with the psychopath then he would gladly let her. 

“You’re here”

“Stefan asked me to come and... help him”

“Be honest with me love, he knows I would never hurt you so he wanted you as a secret weapon”

“You would never hurt me?”

It was a genuine question. He had every right to be mad at her, try to harm her and seek revenge in true Klaus style, everyday she wondered if it would be the day he came after her and tortured her or killed him. Now there they are, looking at one another and not knowing what to say 

“You think so low of me?”

“No, that’s not it”

“Dance with me”

He couldn’t take it any longer. This awkward conversation, her cold demeanor, his nervous side that was preventing him from grabbing her and kissing her in front of everyone. At least he would be able to touch her when they danced, He offered his hand and waited for a minute, (y/n) was caught off guard, the last thing in her mind was for Klaus to ask her to dance, she took two big gulps emptying the glass and left it to the side before she placed her hand in his and let him lead the way to the dancefloor.

As he brought her close to his chest he got a good whiff of her sour cherry perfume, it was so suiting, the only way he could describe it was like biting into a sweet juicy cherry your lover gave you and finding out it was poisonous. She smelled like a sweet death from your lovers hand, very fitting for the situation

“Your dress is exquisite”

“It’s a wedding gown”

“I always wondered what you would look like on our wedding day”

He said as he spun her around and brought her to him once more, leaving her speechless as her lips slightly parted in surprise. (Y/n) knew Klaus loved her dearly, still the subject of marriage had never been brought up, she didn’t blame him, the man was supposed to leave for all eternity, she worried more about him bringing up turning her to a vampire than a wedding ring. 

“Won’t you ask me why I left”

“No, I’d rather dance with you for a while, since I know I’m never going to dance like that again”

“Why not?”

“A dance is for the gentleman to show off his partner, make her feel special. No one is more special than you love”

“Stop please”

She felt tears cloud her eyes, tears that she refused to let them run down her cheek. As she rested her head on his shoulder and followed his lead, she let her love for him show for at least tonight. She had missed him so much, that his gentle nature felt like a drug that she would allow it to kill her. Klaus felt like he was in heaven, having her back in his arms was something he thought he would never experience ever again, this was a treat from above, even though she came in aid to something that did not work in his favor. 

“Maybe it’s better this way”

She whispered. She didn’t know if they would ever get back together, maybe in the future, she never thought he would take her back, so she held it together and did her best to enjoy her time. She looked up at him, her eyes making him feel like he was finally home, those sparkling eyes he had seen in his dreams, the eyes that every time they looked at him he felt weak.

“We could have been so good together”

“We’d hurt each other with the thing we want to say”

She replied back. Klaus was a man filled with pride, he loved her but he didn’t know how to love in a healthy way, at first she tried her best to understand and to help him, after the Mikael incident where he took all the blame things only got worst, he became vengeful, dark, his temper was extremely unstable and (y/n) was no angel. She winced at the memories of the things she had yelled in his face, she could be vicious and ruthless, her wicked tongue was her biggest weapon and the bullets wounded him deeply. 

“I should have know better than to hurt my only true friend, I wasted the chance that I was given”

“Please stay, for me”

Taglist

@akshi8278

[flyingkiki]

A Very Merry Christmas (3/4)

A little bit more excitement and a whole lot of steamy escapades for our favorite bbs. As promised, 2021 is a year of smut and steam for our favorite birbs.

Check out chapter 2 of A Very Merry Christmas to refresh your steam tank. We know Tim a little dirty boi behind closed doors -- or in abandoned tree houses.

In today's episode, that bathtub looks perfect for some luxurious steamy action.

~~~

Titus, much to Raven’s surprise had taken a great liking in her. Over the course of her stay, the Great Dane was practically glued to her side, following her everywhere. While endearing, it proved to be quite a challenge during movie nights once Raven quickly realized that despite his size, Titus believed he was a lap dog.

“Titus!” Tim whined when the dog’s tail smacked him across the cheek one evening while the whole family settled down to watch The Nightmare before Christmas. As Raven settled down next to Tim on the couch, Titus climbed up on Tim’s other side and clumsily clambered over his lap to get to Raven, who stifled a giggle.

“Oh,” Raven breathed as the huge dog settled on her lap, knocking the wind out of her. She felt Titus snout settle into the crook of her neck and his paw dig painfully into her thigh. The dog practically leaned against her and she shot Tim a quick look over Titus’ hulking form. The dog wiggled in her lap, trying to get comfortable. “You’re a big boy,” she breathed.

Tim frowned and tried to nudge the dog off his girlfriend. “You’re suffocating her, Titus.”

Unfazed, Titus yawned and clumsily knocked his face against Raven’s cheek. With a little huff, he licked her left cheek and dropped his chin onto her shoulder.

Raven squeaked softly at the lick and wiggled under Titus, trying to get comfortable. Titus paw dug painfully into her thigh. She leaned into Tim’s shoulder and grabbed his forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze signaling her discomfort. “Tim,” she whispered. He had to do something or her illustrious career as a superhero might just end due to suffocating under a 160-pound dog.

Tim sighed and reached around the massive dog to gently nudge Titus off his girlfriend. When the dog whined and sneezed into Raven’s shoulder, Tim rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Dami,” he called the younger boy sitting on the floor next to Dick’s loveseat. “Call Titus, he’s suffocating Raven,”

Damian looked over his shoulder, frowning at the sight of his dog taking more interest in Tim’s girlfriend. “Titus,” he called over the noise of Jack Skellington discovering Christmas. The dog di not even budge and Tim shot him an annoyed glance.

“Looks like Titus has a new favorite human,” Jason commented slily, enjoying getting rise out of his younger brother.

Damian huffed and glared at Jason for even insinuating Titus had a new favorite. Shaking his popcorn bowl, Damian called Titus again. The sound of popcorn in a bowl seemed to have caught his attention. “Titus, come here.” Damian called again just as Dick ‘shhed’ him.

Titus seemed to finally get the message and with a huff into Raven’s neck, he jumped off Raven’s lap (and successfully kneeing her in the process) and trotted towards Damian. With a low whine, he curled up right next to the boy and deposited his head into Damian’s lap.

Titus continued to follow Raven that evening. Tim flat-out refused to have the dog in their bedroom because sex with a dog watching was a terrible idea. Titus was following them the entire morning as they helped Alfred with a new batch of Christmas cookies.

“Titus, time for your walk,” Damian appeared at the entrance of the massive kitchen, already wrapped up in his winter jacket. He jiggled the leash to catch Titus’ attention, which was solely focused on Raven as she bent over the kitchen island pipping lopsided smiles on gingerbread men with Tim and Bruce.

The dog whined and gave Damian a brief glance before turning back to Raven.

“That much sugar cannot be good for you,” commented Tim in amusement after Bruce ate half of a gingerbread man. Their small group remained oblivious to Damian and Titus. It was Bruce’s second cookie that morning and Alfred was not pleased at the depleting cookie count.

“It was missing an arm,” Bruce brushed off the accusation of being a cookie thief. He broke off one of the legs of the cookie. “Here, have the leg.”

Tim looked scandalized. “And be an accessory to your crime, Batman?” he said with wide eyes but still accepted the amputated sugar treat. It was a delicious leg.

“Who knew Bruce Wayne was such a sugar junkie?” Raven commented after drawing yet another lopsided smile (frown?) on a gingerbread man. She stuck a bright purple candy onto her gingerbread man’s neck. That kind of looked better.

“His sugar panel is terrible, Miss Raven,” Alfred appeared next to them sounding totally unimpressed at Bruce’s sugar habit. He glanced at the pile of cookies they had been working on, noting a few that had gone missing. He sighed softly. “Perhaps I may suggest refraining from eating any more cookies, Sir? We’d like to keep the rest for Christmas tomorrow and some for everyone to take home as well,”

“Might not fit into the Batsuit after Christmas, Old Man,” Jason commented from where he was mixing chocolate chip cookies. Cass giggled next to him.

Bruce looked a bit sheepish has he polished off the last of the gingerbread man he stole from the pile. “Right, Alfred.” Raven watched as the man looked amused and she shared a small smile with Tim, who looked happy to spend a little downtime with his adoptive father. Moments like these were rare for Tim. “I shall have a little bit more self-restraint,”

“I’d appreciate that, Sir,” Of course, Alfred did not sound very convinced. Leaving the fresh batch of cookies, he went back to working with Jason on the cookie batter. Raven and Tim chuckled softly in amusement.

“Titus!” Damian called again, this time gaining the attention of everyone in the kitchen. The dog in question raised his head in acknowledgement before lying down again and staring up at Raven.

Bruce looked over the counter and watched the dog in surprise. He looked up at Raven with a hint of amusement. “Looks like Titus has taken a liking in you,” he commented.

“More like a huge dog crush,” Jason added, smirking over this shoulder.

Damian huffed and crossed his arms, frowning at the group. “It’s likely that he senses her demon heritage and keeps watch to protect us,” he said, annoyance laced in his voice.

“Damian!”

“Hey!”

“Rude, you brat!”

Bruce was clearly disappointed and angry while Tim looked furious. Bruce frowned at his son and placed his piping bag on the counter. He crossed his arms in disapproval, an action Damian immediately mimicked. Reindeer apron or not, an angry Bruce Wayne is a scary Bruce Wayne. “Apologize, Damian,”

“Why? She is half-demon,” Damian sniffed and frowned, frustration bubbling low underneath his skin. “I’m sure Titus senses this. And I honestly do not understand how you can allow Drake to –”

“Finish that sentence and I swear I will smack you into next week,” Tim scowled, fist tightening on top of the marbled kitchen island. Raven could feel old emotions surface as the boys glared at each other and she frowned.

“I could help take Titus on a walk with you?” Raven said suddenly, knowing well that Damian was not going to apologize anytime soon. His frustration and resentment were coming off him in waves. She placed her hand on top of Tim’s arm, trying to calm him down.

“I don’t need your help,” Damian bristled.

Raven rolled her eyes at the haughty attitude. Ignoring Damian, she handed Tim her pipping bag and shot him an assuring smile. She removed her apron and placed it on the table, before turning to Damian. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrow in challenge. “Really? Not unless you want to clean up Titus’ pee later, I think you’re stuck with my offer,” she said.

“Raven,” there was a hint of worry and confusion in Tim’s voice. Raven shrugged and leaned up to kiss him on his cheek. “It’s alright,” she whispered and squeezed his forearm reassuringly. She waved off Bruce as he glanced at her.

Turning on her heel, she looked at a fuming Damian, displeased at the idea of being bossed around. “Wait for me at the door, I’ll go get changed,” she said. Ignoring Damian’s protest, she walked out of the kitchen with an eager Titus hot at her heels. Damian stopped out soon thereafter.

Jason blinked; astonishment written all over his face. “Well shit, that took a weird turn,”

Raven met up with Damian at the large front door. The boy was still frowning into his dark blue fluffy scarf when she approached and made no acknowledgement when she stood by him. Titus appeared by her feet, oblivious to the jealousy he had caused. “Ready?” she asked.

Damian sniffed again and silently hooked Titus to his leash and the trio stepped out into the cold. The leash wasn’t really necessary and as they would step further out into the forest, Damian would release Titus from the leash. The dog was trained enough to follow commands.

They were walking silently towards the large frozen lake, keeping close to the edge of the woods for Titus to sniff along and do his business. The silence between them was palpable, Raven could feel Damian’s storm of emotions. She watched as Damian released Titus from his leash and they followed him through the snow as he happily sniffed at snowy bushes and tree trunks.

“There is no need for you to accompany us,” Damian said, voice laced with a frown as he walked ahead of Raven.

Raven stuffed her hands deeper into her winter jacket as a cold breeze passed them. She hurried to keep up with Damian and walked next to him. She shrugged her shoulder dismissively and offered him a small smile. “It’s alright, I don’t mind the company,” she said.

“I do,” Damian frowned. Of course, ever the brusque one.

They stopped as Titus stopped by a bush a little up ahead. They were close to the completely frozen lake, they could see old dock and the outline of a few people walking by the lake from the distance. A few snowflakes started to fall as winter continued with is below zero temperatures. They watched Titus do his business in the snow.

“I’m sorry about this whole ordeal with Titus,” Raven said, glancing at the scowling boy.

Damian spared her glance; eyebrows draw into a perpetual scowl. “He senses the demon in you,” he said.

The corner of her lips quirked just a little bit and there was a bemused look on her face. “Well, I think you’re right about that,” she said. Damian continued to stare at her with a mixture of mild surprise and anger. They heard Titus make snuffling sounds as he buried his nose into the snow. “Some animals are quick to catch on meta-physical psyche,”

“To sense a threat,” Damian supplied.

“Sometimes,” said Raven. She glanced at Damian, sensing a mix of emotions. “They also get attached or curious. I’m pretty sure Titus is just curious after sensing a new presence in the house. He seems to be very loyal to you,”

She could see Damian move and some of the tension leave his face. She offered a small smile at the frowning boy. “I’m hardly a threat,” she added finally, her voice soft in the cold wind.

Damian swallowed and briefly glanced at Titus, who scampered towards him for pets. Looking up at Raven, his frown softened ever so lightly. “I apologize if it sounded like I was implying that,” he mumbled, his voice sounding just a little strained as if apologizing was not something he commonly did.

Raven hummed. “It’s alright. We always try to be protective over the ones we care for,” she said.

Damian cleared his throat. Looking away, he turned his attention back to Titus. It seemed like that conversation was now over. Raven would settle with whatever she could get from the boy.

They continued to watch as Titus enjoyed the snow, sniffing at the bushes and barking at stones. The silence was soon pierced with the sound of a loud crash and something heavy hitting ice and water. Louds screams filled the air.

Raven and Damian straightened, alert. They watched as the wooden docks gave way and parts of it disappeared into the lake. A name rang through the air, and they watched the outlines of two people wave frantically by the shore. Someone had fallen in.

Raven shoved her phone into Damian’s hands as they started with a run towards the lake. “Call Tim and the others. We need to help now,”

Damian scowled. “You’re not going in there. I can –”

Raven stopped and glared at Damian, halting the boy. Her Titan authority suddenly taking over, and she frowned. “They need help. That water is below zero, do as I say, now.”

She barely heard Damian make the call as she sprinted towards the couple, adding a little bit more force into her run. She couldn’t teleport, that would have been a risk to her identity and the rest of the family. She could do this rescue manually.

“My name is Rachel. What happened?” Raven breathed, reaching the couple by the docks. It was a middle-aged man and woman, both looking frantically at the remains of the docks. There were shrill cries coming from the middle of the lake, just past the remaining wooden beams of the docks.

“Maggie!” breathed woman, frantic. “The whole docks gave way and she fell in!”

The man, who looked like he was in a middle of a phone call with the fire department shot her a frantic look. “She’s five!”

Raven pulled off her bonnet, gloves, and scarf and thrust them to the frantic woman. “Here, she’ll need these when we get back,” she said. Not sparing another glance at the frantic couple, Raven took a running start towards the remaining wooden beams and jumped, easily landing on the standing wooden beam. It creaked under her weight, and she ignored the sounds of water and ice hitting the beams. The beam lurched as she shifted her weight to jump to the next support beam, nearly slipping on its frozen mossy surface.

She heard water splashing and weak cries for help up head. Raven knew she had to pull out the girl soon before hypothermia would set in. Jumping onto the last few support beams that stood out at odd angles in the freezing water, Raven stopped at the last one that leaned heavily to the right, barely above water. There was still about three meters of a distance between Raven and the little girl with some wood floating in between them. There was no way to pull her in from where she stood. She had to swim towards the girl. Well, fuck.

“Help!”

“Maggie!” Raven called, heart pounding in her chest in anticipation of the freezing water. She hated cold showers. This was going to be terrible. “I’m coming for you. Don’t worry!”

“Help,” Raven heard the little girl whimper. With a sharp intake of breath, Raven carefully slid down the upturned support beam and plunged into the icy water. She gasped as her muscles initially froze at the icy sensation. Her chest seized at the freezing temperatures and the wind momentarily knocked out of her. Holy fucking shit. Raven screwed her eyes shut and willed her muscles to move as cold water slapped her face. Hearing the soft whimpers up ahead, Raven pushed forward and quickly swam towards the girl.

“Maggie, hold on,” Raven called, she swore she felt her teeth clatter in the cold. Using a bit of her powers, she swam faster through the water, knocking away the large planks in her way. Raven panicked as the whimpers seemed the grow softer as she approached and Maggie seemed to slowly sag against the large wooden plank she had been holding on to.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Raven surged forward and watched as the little girl seemed to have fallen asleep and slip into the water. Gasping, Raven lurched forward and dove straight into the water. Spotting the small pink body in the murky lake water, Raven quickly grabbed the little girl and broke through the surface gasping for air.

“Maggie, hey, Maggie,” Ignoring the biting cold and how her winter clothes weighed her down, Raven wrapped the little girl closer to her body and patted the girl’s bright rosy cheeks as she spluttered and gasped against her shoulder. Raven allowed the little girl to gasp and recollect herself against her shoulder and she listened to Maggie whimper and wheeze loudly.

“I got you,” Raven whispered and wrapped her arms tightly around the little girl. Craning her neck, she faced Maggie and pushed wild red curls away from the girl’s face. “Hey, I’m Rachel. Let’s go back to shore, okay?”

“It’s so cold,” the little girl whimpered, and Maggie’s arms tightened around Raven. She began to sniffle and cry softly. “I want mommy,”

Raven continued to thread in the freezing water, keeping herself and the little girl afloat. Rubbing her hand soothingly across the girl’s back, she nodded. “Your mommy’s back on shore, we’ll get you there in no time,” she assured. Looking over the girl’s shoulder, she caught sight of the frantic parents back on shore. Damian was with them talking on the phone with an alert Titus at his feet. She waved her hand in the air. “Got her!”

It was a bit of distance from where they were to the shore with a thin sheet of ice covering the lake water. She would have to break through the ice as she’d swim towards the shore. It should be easy enough, Raven thought. The little girl shivered into her neck as Raven started to swim to shore, pressing the little girl into her.

“It shouldn’t take us too long,” assured Raven, as she used her right hand to push them through the water. The little girl pressed into her chest, whimpering in response. Using her fist and forearm, Raven punched into the thin layer of ice as she pressed through the ice. “You’ll get lots of hot chocolate after this,” Raven assured. “That sounds good, right?” her voice strained slightly at the cold. Her body groaned in protest as the icy water continued to stab her muscles. The little girl nodded into her neck and whimpered. Good, at least she was still pretty responsive.

“Rachel!”

Raven looked up from pressing through ice to watch Tim, Dick, Bruce, Cass, and Jason rush towards where Damian and the parents were. Cass and Tim were carrying heavy blankets while Jason was carrying a rescue buoy.

“Hold on!” Jason called from shore. Raven stopped swimming and watched as he twisted his body and forcefully threw the rescue buoy across the lake. The red ring was attached to a rope and Raven watched as it flew through the air before dropping onto the ice and skidding towards her. Using her powers discreetly underwater, she helped the buoy slide towards them. “Got it!” she called as her cold fingers wrapped around the red ring.

“Here, Maggie,” she shifted the little girl and slipped the ring securely around Maggie’s shivering form. “I need you to wrap your arms the ring, okay?” Raven watched as the little girl whimpered and she swam closer to the buoy and wrapped her arm around the girl’s shivering form. “You got this. I’m right here, I’ll push us through. My friends are going to pull us back to shore, okay? I’ll break through the ice so it’ll be easier for us, okay?” Raven pushed some red curls from the girl’s face. “Ready?”

“Okay,” Maggie whimpered. Not really wanting to waste any more time, Raven nodded and turned back to Jason and the rest. She tugged the rope. “Go!”

Raven felt Jason tug the rope and they lurched forward easily. Keeping her hand firmly pressed into Maggie’s back, Raven swam next to her and used her arm to press through the thin layer of ice to avoid any hard ice hitting the little girl. Her muscles groaned in protest and the felt the ice bite her skin.

“Maggie, baby!”

Raven groaned and pushed the buoy with a little bit more force as they closed in on shore and her feet started to feel the ground. Maggie started crying again at the sight of her parents and with a low grunt, Raven pushed the ring forward to shore. She heard Bruce bark out orders to grab the girl and Raven’s legs slipped under her as she pushed the girl towards the shore and within reach to a waiting Jason and Dick.

“Oh my god, my baby. Thank you so much, thank you. Oh Maggie!” Arms were flying around as everyone made a grab for the little girl and the mother continued to sob in the rush. Raven slipped in the water as she lost her footing and her knees hit the ground. Weighed down by her clothes and her frozen limbs, Raven clambered back to her feet and gasping for breath as the cold seemed to finally register.

“Rae,”

She felt gloved hands wrap around her wrist and pull her out of the water. She gasped as the cold air seemed to bite into her body. She tumbled into a warm solid body and her arms instinctively wrapped around Tim, immediately recognizing his warm press of emotions and his scent. She shivered as arms wrapped around her and a heavy blanket was pressed around her. She felt hands rub up and down her back as she continued to shiver into Tim. “Maggie,” she whispered, trying to look over Tim’s shoulder to where Bruce was assisting the parents. She heard muffled crying and the distant sound of an approaching ambulance.

“Maggie okay,” said Cass, hands pressed into Raven’s back to keep the blanket from sliding off her shoulders as she and Tim tried to rub some warmth into Raven.

Tim’s fingers dug into her body and he pressed her closer. “They’ll be okay, you did great, Rae.” He whispered and pressed a kiss into her cold temple. “Let’s get you back home for a hot bath,”

The trek back to the house was a blur to Raven as Tim and Cass practically pushed her back to the house with Damian and Titus on their heels while Dick, Jason, and Bruce remained by the docks to help the family and talk to the lake management regarding the docks. Cocooned in the warmth of the thick heavy blankets, Tim gently steered her into their large bathroom, warm already from the hot bath that Alfred may have already drawn for her.

“Strip,” Tim said after closing the door behind him and gently peeling off the blanket from her body and unzipping her drenched jacket. Raven hummed in protest at the cold, but lethargically complied as her healing powers slowly worked on healing her from the cold that seemed to have seeped into her bones. She shivered when warm hands pressed into her bare shoulders and hip, directing her into the excessively large bathtub.

“I’m fine,” she grumbled but allowed herself to be gently pushed into the tub. Tim snorted, sounding very unimpressed and helped her climb into the tub. Raven sighed loudly as the comfortably hot water wrapped around her freezing body and she instinctively closed her eyes and allowed herself to sink lower into lavender scented bubbles. Her tense muscles eased, and she slowly felt the cold leave her as she leaned comfortably against the tub and allowed bubbles to tickle her nose and chin.

“I’ll go get you some tea,” Tim said, and Raven heard him stand up from where he sat momentarily on the tub ledge, just watching her. She cracked open her eyes lazily, muscles more relaxed and significantly less cold as she watched him stand and make his way to the door.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” she asked, her gaze drifting over the bubbles and watching Tim curiously.

Tim blinked as his hand settled at the doorknob. He raised an eyebrow at her, lips curling up lightly, and the worry that settled around his shoulders lifted a fraction of an inch. “My entire family is downstairs, Raven,” he said, tone light. “I’ll get you some tea,”

Raven rolled her eyes and raised her right hand out of the water, lazily draping it over the ceramic tub and beckoning him to come closer. Lavender scented bubbles slid down her hand and onto the floor as she waved her hand in a beckoning motion. “I’m not asking you to have sex, Tim,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Though, it’d be a nice reward,” her eyes danced in amusement as Tim snorted.

“Come sit with me,” her hand slipped back into the warm water, and she slid a little deeper into the tub as her muscles groaned in protest. “Please?”

Caving at her request, Tim smiled and made quick work to lock the bathroom door. Raven lazily watched him take off his clothes, silently appreciating the way his muscles moved at every movement. Tim caught her triumphant smile behind the bubbles and he playfully rolled his eyes as he approached the tub. “Shut up, you,” he murmured playfully and gently nudged her forward to slip into the tub behind her. Water sloshed around in the tub dangerously as they settled in together and Tim leaned against the tub wall, gathering Raven in his arms. They both released content sighs.

“What a morning,” Tim breathed into her hair while gently running his fingers along her arm.

Raven hummed in agreement. She shifted in his arms, her fingers curling into his biceps. “I hope the little girl will be alright,” she whispered.

“I’m sure she’s fine. B was there to take care of everything.” Tim said. He leaned forward and kissed her temple, pleased to find that she had significantly warmed up. “You did great,”

She hummed again, silently glad that she decided to go on that walk with Damian and Titus. Who knew what might have happened to Maggie? Allowing the warmth of the bathwater and Tim’s presence to wrap around her, Raven felt herself slowly relax and settle comfortably against Tim’s chest as the last of her adrenaline left her body.

“I think I deserve a reward,” Raven hummed, fingers curling into Tim’s biceps as she leaned into him. Her emotions purred lowly, still coming off the adrenalin and looking for a little release. Arching into him just the right way, she felt his body respond immediately and his thighs pressed into her hips.

“Raven,” Tim said warningly, knowing full well where this was going. He felt her shift against him, soft curves brushing against his thighs and chest. A soft warmth immediately pressed low in his abdomen, and he sighed softly into her hair and squeezed her shoulders.

“What?” Tim could hear her smile in her voice. Digging his fingers into her shoulders as he kept her wrapped close to him, he pressed a kiss to her temple. “My family is downstairs,”

Raven hummed and titled her head up, a languid smile stretched across her lips as she knew she already won. She felt his erection press into her lower back, and she eagerly pushed her ass into him. “The silencing spell is still up,” she whispered and pressed a soft kiss underneath his chin.

“Raven,” Tim sighed as his resolve broke when he felt her move against him and press another tantalizing kiss into his neck. He groaned as Raven stretched across his chest, placing her head onto his left shoulder, and her breasts teasingly peaking out of the water. Releasing his hold around her shoulders, his hands slid down her chest and gently cupped her breast, fingers sliding over hard buds. He heard Raven sigh in pleasure, head tipping back in delight.

“I’m not sure if sex in a bathtub is safe,” mumbled Tim and watched Raven close her eyes, relishing the soft ministration across her breasts. Nimble fingers slid over her nipples, stroking and tweaking the hard buds. He listened to her sigh in pleasure and he eagerly watched the emotions on her face – he always enjoyed watching her openly show her emotions, it was a thrill to watch knowing only he could milk these ripples of emotions from her.

Raven released a soft sigh and looked up at Tim with hooded eyes. Shifting in his arms, she spread her legs underwater and draped them over his toned legs. The tub was wide enough for enough movement for both of them. Arching into him and relishing the tantalizing feeling of being spread out in front of him to do as he pleased, she felt heat pool low in her abdomen. “I’m sure we can do enough,” she mumbled. She sighed as one of his hands slid down her stomach and teasingly trekked towards her center. She released a soft keen as his hand cupped her fully, fingers pressing into her and she jerked into his hand. As fingers began to softly stroke her, she gave him a languid smile. “And if we’re not yet done, you can bend me over the sink and fuck my brains out,” she said teasingly.

Tim groaned, his last strands of restraint breaking at her teasing. Feeling his blood roar, Tim slid his hand up her neck and tilted her head for a greedy kiss. It was sloppy and hot as tongues slid against each other at the strained angle and Tim eagerly drank every whimper and groan that he milked from her. His fingers underwater worked their magic, slipping into her hot center and stoking a hot fire within her.

Raven bucked into his hand, eagerly chasing the pleasure and release and teasingly brushing against his own hard erection. Raven released a soft keen, as she felt Tim’s fingers dance all over her body, stroking her heat and pushing her gently towards the edge. Being so openly splayed in front of him – legs spread wide over his strong legs and her back pressed into his chest – and allowing him to stroke, probe, nip and twist as he pleased simply burned her heightened emotions. It was a sin how well he knew how to draw out every last bit of desire from her.

“Ah, Tim,” she whispered, as teeth scraped hungrily against her pulse point and two fingers eagerly stoked a burning fire within her. His nimble fingers were magic.

She tittered so closely to the edge, her adrenaline and emotions sizzling under her skin, as Tim expertly drove her towards oblivion. “Please,” she whispered and screwed her eyes shut as her sensations went into overdrive – warm water lapping against her heated skin, fingers pushing her over the edge, and teeth scraping over her skin.

Tim released a soft groan, unable to hold back as his own desires seemed to sizzle dangerously underneath his skin. With low growl and curse, he pulled out his fingers from her and ignored the whimper of protest. Sitting up, he pulled her up with him and wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her up his chest and with a few quick movements – water sloshing over the tub – he took his throbbing member and slipped into her, reverse cowgirl style.

“Fuck,” Tim growled into her hair and listened to Raven’s soft keen of pleasure as his grip around her waist tightened and he pumped into her, stroking her hungrily and catching her own erratic thrusts. Their thrusts were hurried, each roll of their hips hungrier than the last, as they tittered so dangerously close to the edge of no return.

Raven released a strangled cry as fingers danced over her clit and her movements melted into erratic thrusts. She felt her whole body erupt into an inferno as her adrenaline stoked her desires and continued to feed of Tim’s own pleasure. She felt her whole world disappear as she tumbled over the cliff and her whole body seemed to erupt in inexplicable pleasure as Tim expertly steered her through the inferno.

Tim came quickly with her as his world exploded and he released loud moan into her neck, Raven’s name a soft mantra against her skin as he continued to pump into her and extended their high. Their movements were frantic and sloppy, as they milked every last inch of pleasure.

The world seemed to slowly come back to her as Raven slumped against Tim in exhaustion, her emotions purring and the heat in her abdomen so pleasantly warm and sated. She gasped, catching her breath and listened to Tim’s own labored breathing.

Tim wrapped his arms around her and carefully slipped out of her, shuddering at the sensation of loss. He carefully wrapped her in his arms, they settled comfortably against the tub, both trying to catch their breath and allowing their heartbeat to come to normal.

“Told you we could do enough,” Raven whispered teasingly, fingers wrapping around his forearms that settled across her chest and she gave him soft squeeze.

Tim chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to her temple. “My knees are on fire,” he commented breathlessly. He kissed her cheek at her amused chuckle. “Totally worth it though,”

“Let’s see if we can try the bathroom sink tonight,” he added playfully as an afterthought.

[samanthadalton]

Slowly falling (part 2)

part 2 is finally here!!! I hope y’all haven’t forgotten about this fic yet 😭

tw: there’s a bit of swearing

taglist: @cloud9in @alleycat97 @thedaft1 @mrs-avamontjoy @itszdavenport @iamsimpforpoppy @otakufangirl-12 @orisasay @justavampirefan @waterinathermostat @bloodkueen @sparklesoverlooked @alexlabhont @thepotatobleh added people who liked the post about me wanting to write this fic, if you wanna be added or taken off let me know 😊)

wordcount: 4.1k (i did not expect to write so much but i hope you guys enjoy) 

part 1 is available here if you want a recap 

“What the hell do you mean he dies?” Lily replies, dumbfounded. 

“They find him guilty and execute him, what’s difficult to understand about that?” Kamilah snaps, the small cuts in her hand slowly healing as she shakes off the remaining fragments of glass onto the floor. 

“But he’s innocent so he won’t die.”

“We can’t be too sure of that,” Kamilah mumbles. Her gaze flits over to Amy who has been silently absorbing all the information, a pensive look on her face. “It seems….” Kamilah sighs tiredly, “there may be some evidence against Adrian which affiliates him with tonight's events.”

“What evidence?” Amy counters, a hint of anger in her tone as she finally speaks out. 

“I’m not sure, but Vega was… adamant about Adrian being a guilty party. He said all would be revealed at the trial.” 

“Bullshit!” Amy cries out. “Kamilah you know Adrian, you know he would never do anything like this.”

“I agree, Adrian’s a stickler for the rules, there’s no way he orchestrated a massacre of vampires and humans,” Lily chimes in. 

“Kamilah,” Amy ambles forward until she’s standing directly in front of the older vampire, “I know it’s not Adrian,” she says, her tone subtly indirecting the words of Nicole. The two stare at each other with such intensity until Kamilah breaks the eye contact, awkwardly glancing away. 

“It doesn’t make sense to me either, it is rather peculiar as to how Vega already has evidence that incriminates Adrian.” Kamilah deliberates for a few moments, her brows slightly furrowed in thought until she nods with resolution, “I have a plan to extract the evidence Vega has in his possession but we only have one chance.” 

“Anything,” Amy says with determination. Kamilah apprehends the conviction in Amy’s tone, feeling a slight pang in her chest as she revives the memory of her and Amy just a couple of hours prior, reminiscing about the sheer intimacy of the moment. But as she looks over at Amy now, she sees a fire burning in her eyes, one that is for her beloved brother, Adrian and not her. Kamilah builds back her icy exterior, reprimanding herself for letting it melt for a moment, especially for a mortal. 

“Right. Well if Vega does have any incriminating evidence against Adrian our best bet is that he’s hiding it in his home office.” 

“So we just need to hack into his computer?” Lily says condescendingly. 

Kamilah raises an eyebrow at the young vampire, her expression impassive, “don’t be so presumptuous, it might cost us this plan,” she says reprimanding. Lily raises her hands up in a comical defenselessness manner, evoking a unimpressed look from the older vampire. “Right, let’s get down to business.” Kamilah takes a seat at her desk, and gestures towards the chairs in front of her, signalling for the two girls to sit. “Adam is holding a gala in three days which means that is our window of opportunity to extract the evidence he has against Adrian.” 

“Don’t you think it’s weird that Vega is tagretting Adrian to begin with?” Amy asks, her tone perplexed, Kamilah in retort dismissively waves her hand at the girl, brushing away her concerns. 

“Adam was always the more cautious one out of us all, I mean he’s a politician, it’s simply in his blood to want to clean up this mess as quickly and cleanly as possible.” 

“So you’re saying that he’s only blaming Adrian because he’s an easy target?” 

“Precisely, whatever evidence he claims to have we can easily challenge the allegations and prove Adrian is innocent.” 

“So what does this have to do with the gala?” Lily chimes in. 

“Adam is known to store his information in one place, which coincidentally is where the gala is being hosted.”

“His house,” Lily interrupts. Kamilah nods, her expression less irritated and more impressed. 

“So what do we have to do?” Amy inquires. 

“Lily, we will sneak into Adam’s office and use a hard drive to download the evidence. It will most likely be encrypted so you’ll have to use your,” Kamilah waves her hand, “technical skills to access whatever he has on it.” 

“What about me?” 

“Amy,” Kamilah gives the girl a long hard stare before speaking again, “you’ll be in the hall, our second eyes and ears on Vega, it’s imperative we act like everything is normal, we don’t want to raise any suspicion. Or give the council any reason to believe there’s foul play involved.” 

Amy dejectedly nods at the older vampire, dismayed that Kamilah has only offered her a trivial task, but she remains silent knowing that this is all for Adrian. 

……

The day of the gala arrives and Amy and Lily are in their apartment getting ready. When Amy enters the bathroom, she’s overwhelmed by the memory of Nicole and the recollection of the blood all over her hands and body. Amy begins trembling, her breaths becoming panicked and heavy as she clutches her hand over her chest, her body throbbing in torment. Within seconds, Lily speeds into the bathroom, her hands already on Amy’s waist steadying her, concern written all over her face. 

“Hey, it’s okay, just breathe,” Lily rubs comforting circles across Amy’s back, her own voice becoming shaky as she watches her best friend break down into tears. 

“Lily..I...can’t,” Amy says, her tone strangled as her breaths only quicken. Amy feels she’s about to pass out, until she’s thrown back into the memory of the night of the attack, her remembers the softness of Kamilah’s voice, the usual icy timbre of her voice completely gone as she gazes at the human, the soft tones calming her as she regains control. Amy recalls Kamilah’s breathing exercise, mimicking it many times until she’s able to string a sentence without palpitating. 

“You okay?” Lily asks as she leads Amy to the edge of the bathtub, guiding her down to sit. Amy nods, her lips still trembling slightly. “You wanna talk about it?” 

Amy shakes her head, “it’s just jitters I guess.” 

“Okay,” Lily says, unconvinced as her vampire hearing hears the blip in Amy’s heartbeat but she doesn’t press on the issue. “Are you sure you wanna go tonight? If you want we can stay home and play call of duty or something.” 

“No,” Amy sniffles, “we have to do this, for Adrian, Kamilah, they’re depending on us.” 

“In that case, you wanna see the dresses Kamilah sent us?” Amy chuckles and nods and takes Lily’s hand and the vampire guides her into the living room to show her the long evening gowns that are for them. 

“Wow,” Amy says entranced, her fingers graze the dress that is meant for her, the dress being the perfect mix of sophisticated but sexy. The elegant black with a plunging v-neckline, with a slit in the leg showing off the perfect amount of leg, “Kamilah did a good job.” 

“Well girl knows how to dress so I’m not surprised.” The girls spend the next couple of hours getting ready and when they leave their apartment they see a limo waiting for them. 

“Wow, remind me to thank Kamilah Ames,” Lily jumps in the backstreet and pops open a bottle of champagne that is sitting in the mini fridge and begins drinking from the bottle. “You want some?” Amy politely shakes her head declining. 

“Sadly my tolerance for alcohol isn’t as high as yours Lil.” 

“Perks of being a vampire I guess,” Lily takes another huge swig from the bottle. 

……

Once they arrive at Senator Vega’s mansion, the girls notice Kamilah waiting at the entrance, a restless expression on her face. The older vampire senses the girls’ arrival and turns her head around to see Amy and Lily leaving the limo, her gaze drifts down to the human’s figure, a faint smile on her lips. ‘The dress fits her perfectly’ Kamilah thinks as she assesses her curves, her legs, she hears the faint beating of Amy’s heart, how it’s beating faster than usual, most likely to do with nerves. 

As she steps out of the limo, Amy is in awe, she gawks at the front gates of Senator Vega’s home, dazzled by the mansion. Her eyes wander over to the front where she sees Kamilah wearing a very red and pretty revealing dress. Her eyes helplessly roams the vampire’s body, taken by how breathtakingly beautiful she is. 

“Ames I see Kamilah,” Lily gives her friend a slight nudge pushing her out of her daze. 

“Uh yeah,” Amy nods and links her arm with Lily’s and walks up the pathway towards the older vampire. Lily lets out a low whistle when she’s face to face with Kamilah. 

“Damn, you look hot Kamilah.” A faint smile tugs at the corner of Kamilah’s lips as her eyes meet Amy’s. 

“I see the dresses were in good taste,” her gaze deftly lowers to Amy’s chest before meeting her eyes again. 

“They’re beautiful Kamilah, thank you,” Amy responds, her hands ghosting to the front of her dress, soothing out the creases. A few other guests begin making their way into the house, and Kamilah’s expression sobers, seriousness washing all over her as she leans in to whisper to the girls. 

“It is imperative that we integrate ourselves into this party and draw no attention to ourselves,” her gaze flits to Lily, a stern look on her face. In retort, Lily gulps and gives Kamilah a nervous smile, “when it’s time I will signal to you and Lily and I will obtain the evidence. Now come on, it looks suspicious with us loitering in the front.” Kamilah begins walking into the house, leaving Amy and Lily to follow behind. 

“Game face girl,” Lily nods to Amy before walking through the front door. As they make their way in, the faint playing of a string quartet comes from the grand hall, as waiters greet the girls and lead them into the hall where it is filled with people dancing, laughing, eating. 

“Oooh there’s a bar, Ames do you want a drink?” 

Amy shakes her head, “I’m good Lil, I’ll grab us a table.” Amy takes her way through the hall, she recognises some of the faces, ‘there are a lot of vampires’ she thinks to herself. Her eyes roam the space, no sign of Vega yet. Just as she finds an empty table, a hand grips her shoulder tightly, forcing her to turn to face to figure. 

“Mmm, you look.. delicious,” Priya seductively licks her lips, a devilish glint in her eyes.

“Ow, you’re hurting me,” Amy grunts, which only spurs Priya to dig her fingers into Amy’s shoulder more. 

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little pain darling,” she leans in close to Amy, her lips ghosting hers. Intimidated by the smell of blood that lingers from Priya, Amy takes a half step back. “You’re afraid,” Priya states with a hint of playfulness, in her voice, “now that Adrian is locked up, I guess you’re in need of a new boss.” She leans in again once more, “the ways I could just break you-” 

“That’s enough Priya.” The voice comes booming from behind the vampire, Amy’s gaze moves to see Kamilah frowning behind Priya. 

“Come on grandma, we’re just having some fun.” 

Kamilah hums in response, “so are you having fun?” 

“Huh?” Amy says, a hint of worriness in her tone. 

“Are you having fun?” Kamilah asks. Amy shakes her head no, “the girl gave you her answer, now let her go.” Priya sighs, retracting her hand from Amy’s shoulder, leaving a series of small bruises. 

“Always killing my vibe,” the vampire sighs as she stalks off to harass more patrons. 

“Are you okay?” Kamilah asks, her brow slightly furrowed as she looks at the state of Amy’s shoulder, Amy’s hand subconsciously moves to grasp her shoulder, rubbing at the wound. 

“I’m okay.” 

Kamilah nods hesitantly. “Lily told me about what happened in the bathroom,” for a second, Amy looks at the vampire quizzically until it hits her, when she realises she scrunches her face up in anger. 

“She had no right.” 

“She’s worried, she has no idea that you’re spiralling.” 

“I’m not spiralling!” Amy raises her voice causing a few guests around them to look over at the exchange. 

Kamilah on the other hand keeps a straight face, her tone ever wavering, “well I’m not going to force you to talk about anything but just keep in mind that it’s never easy dealing with it alone.” She turns to walk away but looks over her shoulder, “trust me I know.” She walks away leaving the human alone to let her words settle in. 

As the night goes on, Vega finally makes an appearance but Kamilah keeps the girls on standby, not being able to find her window of opportunity. Amy and Lily dance with each other for a while to let the time go by as Kamilah consorts with the other guests, not paying any attention to Amy or Lily other than the occasional glance at Amy to see her enjoying herself with Lily. The tapping of glass, silences the guests focusing their attention on Vega who stands at the front of the room with a wide grin on his face. 

“Esteemed guests, I thank you for being here tonight, to celebrate...well me.” The guests all share a small chuckle as Vega drones on with his speech. Kmailah shares a conspiratorial look with Lily and Amy and subtly nods her head towards the doors of the halls. The girls slip out with discretion and meet with Kamilah who’s glancing down impatiently at her watch. 

“Quickly we don’t have enough time, Amy remember you are our eyes and ears, Lily you are with me.” Lily gives the older vampire a nod in response. 

“About that, there’s a problem.” Lily raises a hand gingerly.

“And you’re telling me about this now?” Kamilah grits her teeth. 

Lily raises her hands defensively, “I didn’t raise any attention.” Kamilah raises an eyebrow at the girl, “it’s nothing major, it’s just Vega has this security protocol put into place near his office.” 

“What is it?” 

“Motion sensors.” 

Kamilah rubs her fingers on her temples, “so what do we do?” 

“I can probably disable them but i have to do it from outside the office, which means I can’t come with you.” 

“I can go,” Amy squeaks out. 

“No,” Kamilah bluntly responds. 

“Why not? 

“If I listed all the reasons, we would lose our window.” 

“Kamilah I’m going with you, I don’t care what you have to say about it. The more time you waste trying to pointlessly argue with me, the more time we waste trying to get the evidence,” Amy stubbornly begins walking down the hall and Kamilah sighs before following her. 

“I’ll be close by but here,” Lily hands Kamilah the hard drive before giving her a salute, “let’s go save our boy.” 

Once Kamilah and Amy get into the office, Kamilah stalks up to Vega’s computer, plugging in the hard drive, “crap, his files are encrypted.” 

“Didn’t we expect that?” 

Without looking up from the computer Kamilah replies, “yes but it’s more than I thought so Lily will have her work cut out for her. Now watch the door.” 

Amy obediently moves towards the door, keeping it slightly ajar to look through. “Kamilah?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Why didn’t you want me to come with you?” 

Kamilah doesn’t answer, keeping her focus on uploading the files, Amy frowns before asking more loudly, as if her volume was the issue, “why didn’t you want me here Kamilah?” 

Kamilah sighs, her eyes look up from the screen to look up at Amy, “because you’re a distraction.” 

“I’m a distraction?” 

“That is what I said isn’t it?” 

“Why?” 

Kamilah shrugs her shoulders, visibly getting more frustrated, “you’re not in your right mind Amy, with all this Nicole business, I can tell you’re distracted.” 

Amy balls up her fists before stalking up to the desk, “I’m sorry if ki-, if taking someone’s life is messing me up. But I keep reliving the moment over and over again, and I can’t seem to forget it. So fuck it, I’m not really sorry.” 

“Are you done?” Amy sighs heavily, nodding her head. “I get it Amy, I understand how hard it can be taking someone’s life.” 

“But you told me it gets easier.” 

“Yes, I’m also 2000 years old, of course it gets easier.” 

“Well I don’t have 2000 years, Kamilah. I’m having panic attacks almost every day, I can’t sleep, I can barely eat. Everytime I close my eyes I can just see her body.” 

Kamilah stands up from the chair and walks over to Amy, she looks down to see Amy’s balled up fist and contemplates taking it in her hands, but she pushes the thought of her mind and looks directly into the girl’s eyes, “I know it’s hard to believe, but you did a good thing. Nicole was a bad person. I mean I’ve personally always despised her. She was always too uptight for me.” Amy’s lips quirk up into a small smile, “what?” 

“You calling Nicole upright is just ironic.” 

“Oh hush.” The girls share a smile but the moment is quickly interrupted by the computer making a beeping sound and Kamilah twists her head to look down on the screen. “It’s almost finished downloading, Amy, watch the door.” 

“Oh right,” Amy moves back to the door, keeping an eye out. “Crap, Kamilah!” 

“What?” 

“Vega! He’s walking up.” 

“Damn, we still have a minute left until the files are downloaded.” 

Amy runs up to the desk next to Kamilah, “we have like 10 seconds.” Amy freezes for a second for throwing her arms around Kamilah, “please don’t kill me.” She presses her lips against the vampire, pulling her in for a kiss just as the door of the office swings open. Amy feels forlorn when Kamilah doesn’t reciprocate the kiss, but just as she’s about to pull away, Kamilah places her hands around Amy’s waist, eliminating the space between them. The kiss builds up very quickly as Kamilah takes the lead, slightly pushing Amy against the desk, as her tongue tangles up with the human’s but when Vega lets out a loud cough, the two girls quickly break apart. 

“Senator Vega!” 

“Adam.” Vega offers the two women a small smile, “I apologize for the intrusion in your office but Amy and I wanted a place where we could,” she awkwardly glances at the girl, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks, “fraternize together.” 

Amy stealthily glances at the screen and sees there’s still 30 seconds until the file is finished downloading so she swings her arms and ‘accidentally’ knocks over a few of the papers on Vega’s desk. “Senator Vega I’m so sorry, let me pick them up for you.” 

“That’s okay Miss Parker.” 

“No, no I insist.” Amy sits on the floor and begins to gather up the papers, she subtly nods her head to Kamilah, who begins moving towards Adam who stands near the door.” 

“Adam, I again apologise.” 

Vega raises his hand, “no, no I understand. Sometimes we all have...feelings we have to express. I just didn’t think you would go for Adrian’s girl so fast,” he speaks casually, his usual politician grin plastered on his face, but as his eyes bore into Kamilah, the older vampire can see the animosity inside of them. 

In response Kamilah keeps her poker face, and retorts, “hmm, well Amy is a grown woman, she can consort with whoever she pleases.” 

Adam places his hand over his heart, “ah of course, I meant no offence.” 

“Got it!” Amy stands giving the two vampires a wide smile, “I may have messed up the order of those papers, I hope they weren’t in chronological order Senator.” 

“No need to worry, I’m sure I can sort it out.” 

“Right well we should be getting back to the party, Amy?” Kamilah glances over her shoulder to the human, “shall we?” Amy nods and begins walking out of the door, just as Kamilah is about to follow, Vega lightly grabs her arm. 

“I’m glad to see you opening yourself up to someone, I feel like it’s been a long time.” Vega gives the older vampire a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and Kamilah politely nods her head before leaving the office. 

Just as her and Amy turn the corner, in a flash, she pushes the human against the wall, her eyes red, “I said don’t kill me!” Amy cries out. 

“What the hell was that?” 

“I’m sorry! I panicked. Vega was so close and I didn’t want him to suspect us so I did the thing they do in movies.” Kamilah stares intensely into Amy’s eyes, her gaze setting Amy alight. After a few moments, she blinks and her eyes return back to its normal color and she removes her hand from Amy. 

“Right. Well did you get the hard drive?” 

Amy pulls it out of her bra, “yup.” 

“Good. Give that to Lily as soon as you can. We’ll need to stay at this party for a while to not raise any suspicion.” Kamilah stalks off and enters the hall without a second glance. Amy exhales heavily, her back still pressed up against the wall, she raises her fingers and begins tracing the outline of her lips, reminiscing about the kiss. 

When she enters the hall, she looks around and spots Lily near the buffet and sidles up to her, “hey girl, where were you?” 

“Just needed a moment to myself.” 

“So how did it go?” 

“Oh yeah,” Amy pulls out the hard drive, placing it in Lily’s hand, “this is for you.” 

“Oooh it’s warm.” Lily places it into her bag before turning her attention to the food. “You hungry?” 

“Very.” 

The girls scope out the buffer, collecting mountains of food before sitting down on a table. 

“Why is Kamilah staring at you like that?” 

“Huh?” Just as Amy turns her head to look at the vampire, Kamilah sneakily turns her head to focus on the people in front of her. “She’s not staring.” 

“Uhh yes she is or was. Did something happen?” 

Amy shifts in her seat until she’s facing Lily, “yes but don’t freak out. We kissed.” 

“WHAT!”

“Lily, I said don’t freak out!” 

“Sorry! Sorry!” Lily squeals louder. Lily leans in whispering, “so what happened?” Amy gives Lily the details of the kiss but then recollects the hostility Kamilah had in regards to the kiss. 

“So was it good?” 

Amy shrugs her shoulders, “it was different. I don’t know how to describe it but it felt good.” 

“Oh my god, you’re totally crushing on her.” 

“I’m not! And even if I was I doubt she feels the same.” 

“I doubt that.” 

Amy huffs, “Lil, she hasn’t been with anyone in a hundred years and she barely ever gets close to anyone to begin with. What makes you think she’s going to fall for a human?” 

Lily answers with a smile, internally knowing that Kamilah has been listening to the entire conversation from across the room as she feels the older vampire's gaze burning into them. 

After a few more songs by the quartet is played, the announce they’re about to play their one last song, Kamilah appears out of thin air and raises her hand towards Amy, “indulge me?” 

“I thought you don’t dance.” 

“Well Vega has been watching us like a hawk, if we are to sell the idea that we are….”

“I think the word you used was fraternizing.” 

“Yes, well we should at least have one dance.” Amy slides her hand into Kamilah’s and lets her guide her onto the dancefloor. Kamilah places one hand on Amy’s hip while her other interlocks with Amy’s and the girls glide smoothly on the floor. As they dance, Amy and Kamilah’s eyes bore into each other’s, the atmosphere almost becomes dense with anticipation as they find themselves moving closer to each other, as the seconds pass. Just as Kamilah’s lips are hovering over Amy's, the song finishes and the crowd begins applauding, the sudden sound jerking them apart. 

“Thank you for the dance Kamilah.’ 

“Of course,” Kamilah nods and Amy and steps back a little, putting a little distance between them.

Lily saunters to the two girls, “so can we go now?” 

“Yes, I believe the night is over.” Just as the women begin to exit, a vampire from Kamilah’s clan approaches her, whispering in her ear. “Excuse me, Adam requests an audience.” 

“Is everything okay?” Amy asks, her brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I hope so.” 

After a few moments, Kamilah returns, her face etched into a scowl. 

“So what happened?” Lily inquires. 

“It seems the rest of the council had a meeting without me and they’ve changed the date of Adrian’s trial.” 

“So when is it?” 

“Tomorrow.” 

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep10

I’m kinda out of it due to a mix of toothache and painkillers, so bare with me on this one, lmao.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Also lots of Umineko spoilers, probably.

I’m genuinely kinda shocked that this arc STILL isn’t over, but at least it makes a lot more sense now why it ended up being longer than I expected, lol. I still think it probably could have been condensed by an episode or two, but still. It turns out that way more was going on with Satoko behind the scenes in this arc than I thought.

There’s also the whole possibility that Ryukishi might have intentionally laid out the script of Gou/Sotsu so that this whole sequence of Satoko definitively accepting that she’s a witch and killing her humanity happened on the cumulative 34th episode [24 from Gou and now 10 from Sotsu]. I’ve been wondering if anything could actually justify the extremely slow pacing this has had up to this point, but this might actually be dumb enough to make me think it was all worth it, lol.

Also, I’ve been trying to avoid saying it, but I looked at the whole batch of leaks from this arc when they got posted about a month ago, and it looks like we’ve officially covered everything that was in those leaks. I kinda regret looking at them, since it spoiled that Satoko would have an internal conflict that gets expressed literally in usual WTC fashion, but in a funny way I guess I ended up getting a misguided idea of what was going to happen just from looking at the leaks.

For one thing, I completely forgot about the leak of Satoko shooting Teppei until I double checked it a few days ago, so I was mostly just focused on the stuff about her two sides fighting against each other, and I guess I thought it would have made her seem a lot more redeemable than how it ended up actually working out, lol. I thought that it would basically go in the opposite direction and this would signal the start of her spiraling into regret and despair over the course of Nekodamashi, but basically the opposite happened.

I guess this probably answers the question I’ve had of what could stop Satoko from just immediately shooting Rika after the cliffhanger from Nekodamashi, since this raises the possibility of her ‘human side’ literally stopping her from doing it.

Though at this point I’m starting to seriously wonder if there’ll be some big meta twist about how Sotsu has actually been a separate set of loops to what we saw in Gou, and maybe Nekodamashi really did just end in tragedy and then everything got reset. I’ve been toying with that idea in my head for a while, mainly just as a way to try and make Sotsu feel like more than just a literal retread of Gou, but this is giving it a bit more validity as a theory.

For one thing, Eua already implied during Satokowashi that she had a history with Satoko, and going by something Ryukishi said in an interview, there’s already been a time where Satoko called her Eua, so it’s possible that Satokowashi onward is an entirely new loop where both Satoko and Rika have had their memories reset, but Eua still remembers it. Presumably the ‘Gou loop’ would have just ended with failure some way or another, and Eua decided to do it again. She’s given Satoko a pretty definitive failure state in Sotsu, but it’s possible that wasn’t always the case, and up until now she’s been willing to just do it over and over again until she gets the right outcome.

There’s also the theory some people have suggested that maybe the conflict between Satoko’s two halves represented a literal split in the timeline of some kind, with Tataridamashi maybe being a version of events where her human side won out, if only temporarily, and Teppei stayed alive to attack Keiichi at the end of the arc. That’d at least be one way to explain the weirdness of Satoko killing Teppei in this episode after we saw him attack Keiichi at the end of this arc in Gou. I’m not entirely sure I support this exact interpretation, though, even if I like the idea of these maybe being different arcs.

I think that for now my theory about the Teppei situation is that either 1: it was some kind of hallucination from Keiichi, 2: it was a fictionalized account of events that she fed to Ooishi to help trigger his L5 state, or 3: it’s the same sort of thing as the ‘Illusion of Witches’ in Umineko, and we as the audience were directly being shown a fantasy version of events by Satoko. Which is basically the same thing as the second option, but still. Considering how this seems to be barreling it’s way towards being some kind of Umineko prequel, I’ve been wondering if maybe they’d go that far with introducing narrative concepts here that get expanded upon more in Umineko. This would at least be a pretty straightforward example to use to illustrate the idea of how fantasy is used as a device in Umineko. And since there were infamously major issues with people not understanding what Ryukishi was trying to do with those scenes in Umineko ep2 which lead to him having to rewrite ep3 to explain it more clearly, I can see why he might go as far as to include an introduction to this idea in this series.

It’s possible that it’s just a hallucination, but I kinda doubt it at this point. For one thing, it’d feel kinda weird if THIS was a hallucination but not the whole fight scene between Keiichi and Rena, but it’d also just feel kinda weird since Keiichi didn’t really seem to be going L5 in this arc, so it’s kinda hard to imagine him jumping straight to that level of insanity on such short notice.

At least if we assume that this leads into the ending we saw in Tataridamashi, and not something entirely different, I think the real version of events is probably that after leading Keiichi to her house, Satoko attacks him with the bat [or she rigged some kind of trap to knock him out], and then when he wakes up he sees the aftermath of Satoko killing Teppei and he assumes he did it. Though tbh even at the end of Tataridamashi I’m not even sure if Keiichi acknowledged any memory of what happened with Teppei, so I’m not even sure if we need to explain how he’d end up convinced that that version of events happen. For all we know it might just be something that the audience alone was being shown, and from Keiichi’s POV he just gets knocked out and then wakes up in the hospital.

It’s possible that Ooishi ends up attacking him, but I kinda doubt it, at least after how this episode went. Even in the midst of HS, he seemed aware of the fact that Keiichi was at worst just being unwittingly manipulated by the villagers, and that he genuinely thought he was helping her, so I doubt that Satoko would be able to convince him to attack him. And at this point it just seems more likely that Satoko would attack Keiichi herself instead of pointlessly relying on someone else to do it for her.

We do know that he shows up at the festival with the bloody bat, but he could have just entered the house after hearing the commotion of Keiichi getting attacked, and then Satoko told her version of events to him, and he just picked up the bat from the crime scene and took it to the festival.

It’s also worth noting that apparently in the manga version of Tataridamashi, Satoko never even leads Keiichi to her house in the first place, and he just gets shot by Ooishi at the festival, which makes it seem more likely that Keiichi himself isn’t super relevant to how this arc ends. At least in the manga version of the arc, it seems like Ooishi probably just walked in on Teppei’s dead body and then picked up the bat and went on to do his killing spree.

Now I’m also wondering what’ll happen in the next episode, since it seems like they literally only have the festival left to cover before this arc ends. I guess there might just be a lot of content related to what happens with Satoko in the fragment space between this arc and Nekodamashi, but either way it feels like it shouldn’t take long at all to reach the big climax of this arc, especially since Satoko has already steeled her resolve. I mean, I doubt that human-Satoko is gone for good, but the rest of this arc is probably just gonna be witch-Satoko putting her final plans into motion, so there shouldn’t be much to cover there.

There’s a possibility that they’ll also speedrun through all of Nekodamashi from her POV in the next episode, but I kinda doubt it’d go by that fast. In spite of it mostly being a montage from Rika’s POV, and there presumably not being much worth showing about the mechanics and reasoning behind how Satoko set up the different mini-loops there, I think there’s still a fair bit to be shown from her perspective in that arc. For one thing, we’ll probably get a reveal of what was really going on behind the scenes with how Hanyuu suddenly gave Rika a new set of powers, and the whole deal with the sword. And even after the loop montage, I think that stuff will go on behind the scenes with Satoko and Takano to lead into the scene where Takano apologizes to Rika.

At this point my main question is how long it might take to get through all of that, since we only have five episodes left. At least as far as we know. There might be some kind of continuation yet to be announced, but I don’t want to bet on it.

It just feels like there’s a whole lot of stuff left to do before we end this. Like the stuff I’ve mentioned before with the OP having scenes of the club members as teenagers wearing outfits different to their ones from Satokowashi, and the scene of teenage Rika and Satoko fighting in the fragment space.

I’m also wondering at this point if we’ll get some Bernkastel origin story stuff to go with the apparent Lambda origin story. At the very least, they never really explained why she ended up being Featherine’s miko in Umineko, aside from the vague ‘Featherine is probably some version of Hanyuu’ thing. Which has been especially weird since Eua has been using Satoko as her pawn against Rika in this series. But this episode also makes it seem even more likely that Eua doesn’t even like Satoko, and is just using her as a pawn towards a greater goal of entertainment, while probably also playing both sides, so I could see this leading to a situation where she ends up working with Bernkastel instead.

There’s still the question about if this is even a Lambda origin story in the first place, but at this point I think that it’d just be a straight up waste of time if it’s not. That basically feels like the entire purpose of Gou/Sotsu’s existence right now, so if it’s all some sort of elaborate troll, then that just feels like it’d make EVERYONE pissed off. It’d obviously annoy the Umineko fans who like the idea of this being a genuine prequel or tie-in of some kind, but for the people on the opposite end who hate that idea, I don’t think they’d appreciate being told ‘I was just spending nearly 50 episodes tricking you into thinking this was something you’d hate, lol’. It just seems like the worst of both worlds.

Also, I’m pretty open to different variants of how they could pull off the specifics of this being a ‘Lambda origin story’. Like, I still think it’d count if this ends up being set after Umineko and is some kind of elaborate reenactment of how Lambda came to be, or whatever. There’s a lot of specific ways it could be executed, but it’d basically just be the same thing at the end of the day.

I know that witch Satoko right now doesn’t have the same sort of personality that Lambda had, but like with how Beatrice went through multiple design iterations that changed her personality, Satoko might just end up going through more development that makes her closer to the Lambda we know in Umineko. There’s also the fact that the end of Umineko already implied that Bernkastel was just ‘playing the villain’ for fun, so Lambda’s whole personality there might have been somewhat manufactured.

I guess at this point I just have to wonder if we’ll see Satoko come up with the name Lambdadelta for herself, lol. Even back in Higurashi we saw how Rika came up with the name Bernkastel, so if they’re really going in this direction, it’d make sense. I know Satoko is still calling herself Satoko by this point, but just a few episodes ago she denied that she was becoming a witch, and now she’s calling herself one, so these things can change, lol.

Anyway, this whole episode ended up being more Umineko-y than I expected. Even aside from the obvious stuff with them using the term witch, the whole fight between the two Satokos in the fragment space was exactly the sort of thing you’d see in Umineko, down to the fact that it was a gun fight like the love trial was. The imagery of the red cracks on the black background, and the entire screen shattering like glass, also felt like it was lifted straight out of Umineko.

Even if it might be kinda cheesy and forced, the monkey brain part of me really likes this stuff, lol.

Come to think of it, I guess this also makes it a lot more likely in hindsight that her classroom panic attack in this arc really was [at least in part] a representation of her two sides clashing. I think she always planned to do it as a recreation of that scene from Tatarigoroshi, but when it actually started her human side bled through and her genuine regret came through as well. I also assume that all the shots in this arc of her looking uncomfortable or depressed, especially around Teppei, were probably also setting up for this. Which I think is fine, but they probably should have been a little more clear about it, since it came across as her just faking everything, and this ended up feeling more sudden than it should have. I get why people would still see it as being sudden and unearned, but I don’t really think so. They probably should have included more stuff like that during the first two arcs of Sotsu, though.

I’m curious to see if I’ll end up being right about my theory that the sword will end up being used as a plot device to completely separate Satoko’s witch self, and maybe Rika’s as well, into their own beings separate from Rika and Satoko in the ‘real world’. It still feels like the only way to have this actually set up for Umineko without having things end in total tragedy for Rika and Satoko in general.

There’s probably a lot more I could say about this episode, but I think this has gone on long enough as it is, lol.