#she’s an ads person tho so i guess that is against their training lol

[easeupkid]

new person at work trying to peer pressure me into doing a charity 5k after i already told her no i don’t want to and it is starting to annoy me so bad!!!!!

[gayhokage]

spoiler free thoughts on mugen train movie: it was great!! stunning animation, great new soundtrack, great voice performances (i watched subbed) paced the story really well. i went in with high expectations and wasn't let down! 10/10 can't wait for everyone to get the chance to watch it :D

spoilers (and more in depth) under the cut:

wanna say that i am being Incredibly nit-picky in some of this. the movie was truly amazing and i enjoyed every second of it. i'm just gonna graze through the manga chapters the movie covered to help myself remember / point out what i liked / disliked

the second demon rengoku killed on the train i didn’t really think was necessary? i think maybe they were just trying to fill up more time, have it make more sense why tanjiro & crew liked / thought rengoku was so cool (it did give rengoku a better chance to show off his power and skill to them for the first time)

the animation used to rengoku’s flames was GORGEOUS (of course) it looked so beautiful

the dream sequences were done so well!! honestly zenitsu’s dream was super cute and boss inosuke’s and his minions.. inosuke you are so important to me i hope he knows that. THANK GOD for shiny acorns!!! genuinely one of my fav parts in the manga it’s so cute and silly i love seeing inosuke being friends with nezuko

senjurou sounded Nothing like how i’ve been imagining his voice up to this point. i’ve always read his voice as very soft like a younger child since he’s so young and has a kinder nature, so i’m not gonna lie i was a little thrown off by that lol

tanjiro pulling himself into the water in his dream was so beautifully done honestly that was one of my fav scenes just bc it was so pretty

i was pretty upset that the detail about rengoku's spiritual core being brittle was left out, i feel like that's such a Huge detail about his character (since we only get to know him for such a short amount of time) maybe it was mentioned in the film and im just forgetting

nezuko's flames burning around tanjiro during his dream looked So Beautiful i was truly just awed throughout the whole film by how beautiful the animation was

tanjiro’s youngest brother crying when he was trying to leave the dream crushed me honestly that got the water works going lol i know the big moment of that scene was nezuko but; someone in the theater gasped Really loud when nezuko showed up in tanjiro's dream and it added so much drama lol so thank u to that person for upping the emotion

this whole part was the Real tear jerker of the movie^

i wish this scene had more been More? idk i was really looking forward to how this scene would end up in the movie and it was really just tanjiro screaming and then showed blood on the snow. i know it was shown multiple times later during the fight with enmu but. was hoping for something more i guess! esp i think the first time showing it should've been a Big Deal idk

during this scene tho i Loved that there was like a piano version of kamado tanjiro no uta and also a piano / softer version of gurenge; idk which played during these scene but i heard and picked up on both and really loved that

on another soundtrack note: the clarinet (or maybe bass clarinet) that played for what im guessing was enmu's theme was sooo good congrats to any composer that can get me to enjoy the clarinet lol

tanjiro's dream subconsciousness was sooo beautiful and so were the little fire spirits that lived there i think it continued to perfectly capture tanjiro's kindheartedness

tanjiro's nightmare was also so well done. i thought that was one of the best part of the movie tbh

actually my biggest complaint about the movie was how awkward and out of place the 3D / CGI looked compared to season 1 of the anime. the "guts" inside the train just looked really gross and poorly done

[anime vs manga comparison] (also my friend said that enmu made him think of orochimaru LOL)

another thing was the train being covered with enmu's flesh or guts after their head was cut off just looked so gross and weird, i wish that hadn't been changed / added in the movie

and with the weird / gross looking 3D it made tanjiro and inosuke's fight together to find enmu's neck just a little rough to watch. i think it would've been better if there wasn't so much of enmu's flesh all over the train

i wish this had been shown in the movie since it didn't make it into the story of the manga. the movie just showed nezuko burning inosuke and zenitsu with her fire (which is how she woke tanjiro up, so i guess it makes sense that it would work for those two as well)

after enmu was defeated i thought it was insane how clear of an image of kokushibo we got!!! we've only (barely) seen silhouettes of him up to this point in the anime, and since we also got such a clear picture of daki (with season 2 on the way) it makes me excited to think that we will see him in season 2 as well (along with the other upper moons; and hopefully get the whole series animated lol)

the fight against akaza was outstanding and amazing. truly have no words lol. unfortunately i missed a small part of the fight bc i had to go use the bathroom (my friend said i missed the coolest part of their fight) but akaza looked SO GOOD and the fight was so well animated and i Loved akaza's voice - not how i had been imaging his voice but it still fit him so well (wasn't such a major difference like with senjurou lol) and the music that played during their fight was great. the purposeful silence in some parts of their fight was perfectly placed to make it more tense and emotional (also rengoku blocking akaza's punches with his sword. king shit)

i really liked this detail, both with enmu and akaza, that their screams are apparently So Loud, i guess that's something you dont really pick up when you're reading

when rengoku's mother showed up and inosuke started crying that's what really did it in for me lol i tried to keep myself from crying too hard / loud in the theater but i know once i watch it alone im gonna be bawling

where the movie chose to end was really interesting to me. i thought for sure the movie was going to include tanjiro's visit to senjurou so im a little surprised that that's being held off until season 2. it really will make it mandatory for anime viewers to watch the movie before starting season 2

anyways if you read all of this ily and i am kissing you <3

[yibuo]

UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??

i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine

CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS

tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)

HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL

long danni= wjjw company ceo

wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under

huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine

alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...

so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP

but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY

anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc

then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 

ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever

-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-

they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 

so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight

so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s

also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY

OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs

anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded

xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting

wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING

peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP

if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird

peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is

anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!

why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 

anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!

here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard

-xnine slideshow

-xnine faq

-xnine eng sub channel by yuer

-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here

-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr

-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not

also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here

also here’s this video dragging wjjw

[ranger-jedi-knight]

A New Hero Ch 22

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887313/chapters/63998701

Taglist: @bluesimani

Ok, so here’s the next chap for the fic!! This is going surprisingly quickly considering I have classes. Any delays that happen now r due to my sisters cat comin over and cuddling me preventin me from workin lol. Lol. Anyways, here’s the next chap, I do hope you enjoy this next chap!

“Ok, so you really do know more about this….I thought Xan was bluffing about at least Mari knowing,” Lana said looking at the two in front of her in shock. Damian had put on the mask he wore as Robin and showed her the weapons he carried on his personal 24/7. Mari just transformed into Ladybug and then transformed. “But how come you revealed your identities to me?” she asked figuring Xan only knew from an accident or they told him when he doubted they could help him from what happened(it was easy to guess Damian before he told him YES he was Robin, and Ladybug ya, probably an accident but purposeful).

The two shared a look before looking at her once more. “Well, we can see that your not going to stop training to do what Damian and I do. So we might as well help you. Both in and out of the uniform. I’ll help you two get the right items for your suits,” Mari said smiling gently at Lana which she returned. Damian clapped Xan on the shoulder and nodded.

“Not to mention, what you’re planning is quite noble. It would help us so that we can focus on gangs and the big boys when they escape,” Damian added and the two nodded again.

“Thank you for agreeing. I just couldn’t stand watching someone getting hurt and not being able to do anything. I won’t let anyone else go throu what I did,” Lana said giving a slight nod as the three shared scowls at the thought. Even though it all happened when they were young, they still hated not being able to help. Granted tho, Damian also knew he would have probably killed the man given a chance, so it was smart to not let him out.

“With our help, you’ll be able to do just that. And you’ll be able to call on one of us should you need help,” Damian added and once more, Lana sent him a thankful smile.

“Now, Xan why don’t you give me an idea of what you’re wanting to use when you go out and I’ll be able to get an idea of what fabric will work best,” Mari said and Xan nodded as they went to the table in Lana’s apartment. Cocoa rubbed herself against their legs before going to play with them or nuzzling their feet. Damian and Lana cleared an area out(granted that didn't mean much since she didn’t own lots of things) and got into fighting stances.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mari beamed at the two as Damian took her back to the hotel. They spent a good two hours with Lana and Xan, each sparring against Damian at first while the other talked to Mari. In Mari’s sketchbook, she had a good idea about what they were thinking of and was planning on looking into many different fabrics that would work.

But that would be later.

Right now, she had to get back to Lila and help her plan what to wear for her date tomorrow.

She was beyond lucky that Gotham Academy was letting them do school work online for a week to get used to it before the semester started up again in September, a good couple of months away.

She smiled softly over at Damian as she took his hand into hers and gave it a squeeze as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “That was pretty sweet of you to help Lana, and Xan but he’s more prepared than her,” she said as they walked down the sidewalk and Damian gave a one-shoulder shrug.

“It was just the smart thing to do. Xan explained what was going on and I simply agreed to make sure they don’t get hurt. It’s obvious she would have gone out with or without our help. So, to make it easier, might as well help,” he replied looking forward even as he felt Mari squeeze his hand again.

“Still,” she hummed out. They walked in silence for some time. When her hotel came into view, she bit her lip. “Are you going to tell B?” That had Damian looking down at her before he looked straight ahead in thought.

“No,” he spoke after a minute, “It’s not my place to tell him. He won’t enjoy having two more vigilantes running around, but as long as they leave the big bads to us, he’ll leave them be. Only they can tell B. I won’t break their trusts,” he replied with a decisive nod.

“Good. They’ll appreciate that,” she said squeezing his hand as they paused outside the hotel.

“What about Lila?”

“I’ll tell her about myself when Hawkmoth is defeated-” she started with a sigh but was interrupted by her phone beeping. She pulled it out and scowled at seeing the headline. “Akuma,” she muttered and Damian nodded, glad to have brought his gear.

“First our date, and now the conversation. He has great timing,” Damian deadpanned. Mari giggled at that but soon grabbed his hand and ran into the hotel and up the stairs. Adrien appeared with Nino and she nodded.

“Figured you could use my help,” Nino said.

“That we will. Get to Fu’s shop to get his miraculous and meet us at the Seine,” Mari said as Mari and Adrien transformed. Mari then took out Kalki and merged while Damian quickly threw his gear on, managing to get the last piece on right as Mari opened the portal to Paris that landed halfway between Fu’s place and the Akuma in an alley.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧~~~~~~~~~~~~

The four groaned out as they leaned against the walls of the stairwell. The battle was quick but painful. Mari and Adrien’s transformation fell and they shared a weak ‘pound it’. Nino was a better off, smiling at the two as he rubbed his wrist. The Turtle miraculous was back with Fu, she was glad that Nino was able to do that quickly in the two minutes they had left before de-transforming.

“Ok, now I really need to get back to Lila. She’s probably freaking out about her date tomorrow,” Mari said and the group nodded.

“I’ll join you, Angel,” Damian said when he finished getting out of the Robin suit. Mari smiled at him as they held hands and followed behind Adrien and Nino as they talked about what happened in the morning before the Akuma attack. Reaching their rooms, the duo’s separated, Adrien going to his and Nino’s room, and Mari and Damian heading to her room. Opening the door revealed Lila pacing and muttering to herself. On her bed were a few outfit options, and the closet looked messy, quite different than the orderly fashion she usually had it in.

“Whoa, Lila, are you ok?” Mari asked, startling the girl from her thoughts.

“Mari! No, I’m not! I’m panicking!” Lila said flinging herself over to Mari. Mari caught her easily and hugged her before pulling back to hold her hands.

“Don’t worry. Everything will go well. He really cares about you, Lila. Even Damian, who is quite frankly, bad at emotions some days, can see it,” she said, ignoring the offended look Damian was sending her. But it had the desired results.

Lila giggled.

Mari smiled at her friend as she then pulled her to the bed with Damian trailing behind them. “Ok, Damian, do you have any idea about what Xan would do for their date?” Mari asked and Damian hummed as he thought about the different things Xan appreciates.

“What time are you two going out?” he asked and Lila hummed.

“We didn’t set an exact time, but it’s going to be past evening,” she replied and Damian nodded.

“Ok, I can think of a couple things you would do. He’s probably going to take you to his favorite park here. Either before or after he’ll probably take you to a place you both enjoy, like a cafe, or a nice sit-down place,” Damian replied after a bit and Mari started nodding along.

“Ok, so you’ll probably want to dress warm. It can get pretty cold at night,” Mari said looking through the options and immediately putting back anything that was short and pulling out some longer items. “Did you want to wear a dress or are you fine with pants?” she asked, turning to her friend who bit her lip.

“I’m fine with whatever,” Lila replied and Mari nodded. After a bit, she put together three outfits. The first consisted of thick black leggings, a deep gray-blue sweater that went past her mid-thigh with tied bows at the wrists, and red combat boots and newspaper cap. The second one was a black tank top with a white oversized jacket, black shorts with thigh high tie up boots, The final one was a maxi-dress that practically covered her feet when she wore heels, it was a nice light purple with lavender and wild flowers going up from the bottom hem. Around the waist line was a thin black belt paired with 2 inch black sandal wedges.

“Ok, here are three options that would work. For the dress just wear some leggings underneath for more warmth,” Mari said and Lila beamed as she looked at the different options.

“Thank you Mari! And thank you Damian,” Lila said pulling her friend into a tight hug and just sending Damian a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mari: got the samples. ill bring them over tom

Lana: thank you Mari! your the best!!

Xan: cool. see ya in the morning

Mari: see ya then!

Mari smiled as she walked back from the fabric store with the samples in hand. Tikki and Kalki pressed against her thigh throu her purse. She smiled softly as she patted the purse and stopped by a bakery to get some cookies and tea. At the counter she wrapped the cookies up with a few sugar cubes and put them into her purse so that they could snack on them as she walked back to WE to help Tim out a bit for a few hours.

Tired @prouodgothamite

Here we go! I’m starting a How-To channel explaining how to do things in Figure/Ice Skating and Parkour. My therapist suggested it. I hope you guys enjoy it #iceskating #parkour #howto #explaining #videos *youtube link showing the thumbnail of Lana in ice skating gear on the ice with ‘How To Do A Toe Loop’ next to her*

Ok, so here’s the next chap! Sorry it’s a bit short. When I was writing it, two of my sisters' cats, Bonito and Snowflake(but she’s named Sunflower but I like my name for her), kept jumping onto me to cuddle which is adorable. But bad for me since I am allergic to them. So that had me out all day yesterday since I could barely think. I kept having to blow my nose, my eyes were irritated 90% of the time even thou I had taken both my allergy meds n antihistamine(spelling what?) eye drops. And then I got a headache. So ya, all that just threw what I had planned out the window and I couldn’t catch it. So ya. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chap. I’m wanting to write some more joker n mari buddy fics so please leave a PROMPT(joker will be ooc, cause thats the only way im doin buddies joker n mari(excludin that new fic i put where mari snapped)). Until next time!! -Love Willa<3<3<3

[justlightthefirstspark]

Utd vs City - FA Cup 4th round - Jan 25th 2020

Okay so this game was a little all over the place, I feel like everything just goes out the window on derby day. For real tho my blood pressure went through the roof this afternoon, I HATE derby day. Moving on.

‘10 - Cracking save from Earps. She was on her game today (except for towards the end, but we’ll get to that later on). She did have some great saves though

Today I learned that I’m not a massive fan of Ellen White. She’s very good, yes, so disagree with me if you must, but she seemed pretty intent on literally killing Abbie McManus for a little while there, and she nearly came through Hayley Ladd at one stage, so... yeah. I’m not really a fan. Just don’t think a striker needs to make as many sliding tackles as she did today 🤷🏽‍♀️

‘22 - Jackie meggsed Steph Houghton and I thought I was gonna die of joy. If that’s even a thing. Also, wish we could have made something from that but hey.

‘24 - Was a little choppy for a lot of the first half. Sigsworth had a glorious opportunity to open the scoring but unfortunately couldn’t make anything happen, and then Ross went kinda close, but it ended up creeping over the bar. City were definitely in charge at this point though, most of what United had was coming off the counter

‘30 - Goal, City. Abbie... bro. Personally, I never bought a ticket for the McManus hype train. And that’s why.

‘37 - Nailed on chance for United surely, ball in from Hanson I’m pretty sure, but Sigsworth just couldn’t get there

Half time: First half went pretty much as I expected it to, minus the goal if I’m being honest. McManus’ mistake was pretty stupid, and shortsighted, but what’s done is done. I do think that we need a new CB (at least one) in the summer, cause I haven’t been majorly impressed w McManus tbh. I much prefer the Turner x2 partnership at CB, but even then Amy can have a tendency to make some silly mistakes. (I’m sure Millie does too, I just haven’t seen those yet. They’re human, not robots, we all make mistakes!) I think Abbie, needs to be benched for a little while; move Amy back to CB w Millie, move Smith onto the right and bring Ökvist in on the left, and just let her develop and learn on the job. (Should Amy have to relinquish that RB spot, Smith should have it over Harris imo)

‘45 - No changes at the half, which was annoyingggggg. Also the male commentator (can’t remember his name, soz) kept making reference to the QF loss to Reading last season and I was not appreciative. Like, at all.

‘48 - Like for the majority of the first half, Zelem was sitting very deep in the Utd midfield. Was almost like a back 5 at times, w Zel sat just in front of Abbie and Millie. She was basically invisible during the first half due to this as well, little to no offensive action. I’m pretty sure that Ladd started sitting deeper to push Zelem up at some stage though

‘56 - Goal, City. This was game over for me (lol). I’m not really sure who I blame for this one, seen a lot of blame on Amy, but there was definitely a delayed reaction from Millie in there too, so I’d have to watch it back (which I don’t plan to tbh) to fully make up my mind, so I’m gonna blame them both. Seems only fair. 🤷🏽‍♀️

‘59 - James 🔁 Ross. An hour too late but I’ll take it. I’d have started James, without a doubt, but Casey said they were “managing her for the upcoming games”, also she kinda has a tendency to pick up yellows - through no fault of her own really though. Some other players just can’t deal with her strength on the ball so when they challenge her, they come off the worse and she gets in trouble. Riddle me that one 🧐

I also think we need a new striker in the summer, Ross just isn’t working. We need another game changer, another creative outlet like Lauren cause it’s massively unfair to rest that responsibility solely on the shoulders of an 18 year old.

‘60 - glorious shot from Hanson that just couldn’t make it. She really opened City up down the right side. To be honest it was a great save from Roebuck too

‘69 - GOAL; United. Remember when I said Lauren James should have started? Because Lauren James scored a super goal 10 mins after she came on the pitch. Lovely turn and shot, straight past the keeper. Game on, apparently.

‘69 - Arnot 🔁 Sigsworth. I think this was a good swap, even though it may not have been like for like. Jess was EVERYWHERE today, I genuinely don’t think there was an inch of the pitch she didn’t cover. She had a few decent chances, which any other day she probably would have put away but that’s the way it goes I guess 🤷🏽‍♀️ Honestly if we had any other options, I’d rest her more, but we don’t so... I do think it’s the right decision to sub her off around the hour mark if she’s gonna play this often though. She’s gonna burn out quick cause she’s doing way more than she needs/has to (because we have no bench and a lot of inexperience/players who just aren’t that good, so everyone is doing 47 jobs but shhhh)

‘72 - 👻 - Pure daylight robbery is the only way I can describe this. One of McManus or Arnot has the ball OVER the line, but it’s disallowed 🤦🏽‍♀️ (Before anyone comes for me claiming “salt” or whatever, there is nothing you can say to me that would change my mind. There’s videos from the stand that show the ball over the line, Ellie Roebuck’s body-language and position show her clearly fishing the ball out of the net, the reaction of all the players around the goal show that it went in - Utd players elated, and City’s dejected. Also Miss Ellen “I couldn’t really see. I wasn’t in the line of it” White can swing. She was 2 feet away and staring right at it.)

‘76 - Goal; City. Jill Scott floats it up and in , with a delayed reaction from Earps. She should have seen that one coming a mile off but I reckon it took a deflection (possibly off McManus’ shoulder?) cause her body movements completely changed - albeit just a fraction too late. Also, I have *no idea* what Amy was doing in the box there, I just know that I don’t ever wanna see whatever that was ever again. Flailing around on the ground like a literal fish out of water. Not good.

‘87 - GOAL; United. Well, own goal; Hemp. But I’ll take it. Thought for a second it was Houghton but she was too busy feigning a foul 🤷🏽‍♀️

‘90 - I’ll be honest, I had to stop watching here cause I couldn’t take it. There was like, a year’s worth of added time bc of two injuries to City players but nothing of note happened during this time so I have nothing to say.

All in all, I think our entire back line had an off day today.

Abbie, imo she’s our main defensive weak link. I’d say a solid 70% of City’s chances came down our right side due to this. I’d have to go back and rewatch every game from the start of the season to pick out specific instances, but there can be a bit of hesitancy and airiness to her game sometimes, it doesn’t always seem like she thinks before she does. And she (well, all of them do it really) plays it back way more than is healthy for my stress levels.

Millie gets the benefit of the doubt from me today cause she very rarely has off days, but she was very quiet today.

Amy, has some extent of the benefit of the doubt cause she’s not a RB/FB by nature, she’s had to change her game a bit, but she was not great today (see previous point about the right side of our defence)

I actually think Kirsty Smith was the best of the 4, her service to Hanson on the left was excellent.

We really, really missed Galton down the left though, so I hope she’s back for Wednesday! Lauren needs to start vs Chelsea too, and against Reading tbh but we’ll worry about that one later.

Also, as a little side note, I have to say I really enjoyed Jayne Ludlow’s commentary this afternoon! I know she did the Utd/Spurs reverse fixture in October, and I’m sure she’s done a few more, but I’d like to hear a lot more of her (or really, anyone else who knows the game as well as she does, or in a similar capacity). She, obviously, knows the game really well, and I thought her analysis and opinions were really interesting to listen to.

[cupidhaos]

(2nd attempt lol) So I went through Newsflash! and Move! with a fine-toothed comb...

This is structured into 4 parts to make it a bit easier to read. The first part is interesting information I 'found' again after reading through everything with watchful eyes again. The second part is a listing of everyone who could've done it, and what reasons they may have. The third part is not necessarily informative, but still interesting stuff I 'found' while reading through it again. And last are questions I had or things which didn't add up for me. This is extremely long (the Word document I have is 6 pages long RIP), so grab a drink and get comfy. Also, this is mostly just based on what is in Newsflash! and Move! itself. Hope you'll enjoy!

Interesting information:

“It’s crucial to the plot that you know” (DK in Newsflash! 5) implies there’s a hidden plot, one we don’t see

“You’re going to make plenty of friends soon enough y/n” (DK in Newsflash! 5) Did DK orchestrate Y/N becoming friends with SVT? Why? Does he want to tear SVT down? But why through Y/N?

Oh, remember that girl who told the schoolboard about Jeonghan and Chaeyoung, angry Jeonghan planned on resigning from SVT for Chaeyoung? The one who essentially was the cause for Jeonghan & SVT ghosting Chaeyoung in the beginning of Newsflash! because she got word to Chaeyoung’s father and he threatened to take away their scholarships? Maybe it has something to do with her… (Newsflash! 10)

Joshua said himself that the others give up easily (Newsflash! 10) as soon as the situation becomes a bit dire

Newsflash! 11 “I know what it feels like to just have someone slip away from you when you could’ve done more” (Y/N texting w/ Mingyu) Who?? Is she talking about?? COULD IT BE A REASON FOR SOMEONE TO BE A BITCH TO Y/N???? Adding to that the next text: “You have the chance to fix things before it’s too late” WHEN WAS Y/N TOO LATE?? FOR WHOM??

The Barista from Newsflash! 13 (I FORGOT HER NAME I’M NOT IN THE LOOP WITH GIRLGROUPS) could’ve heard everything SVT+Chaeyoung talked about when they were locked in that back room… maybe that started something? (Edit: okay in Newsflash! 22 several girls comment on Y/N’s tweet and one has the same profile picture as the Barista… so her name is something along the lines of Hyunie?)

Newsflash! 17 DK texting “He’s not the one for you trust me Y/N” makes DK all the more suspicious. How do you know that? Who are you trying to set us up with?

Newsflash! 21 DK knew before Y/N said anything at all that Y/N was out with Jeonghan and that Jeonghan had kissed her. How did he know?

Newsflash! 23 DK texting “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see” makes me think he didn’t actually plan all this… but the use of the emoji makes him still suspicious. But if he didn’t plan this – why does he know so much?! Is he stalking Y/N? Why? For what reason?

Newsflash! 29 Name of one of Jeonghan’s clients was dropped – Eunha. Was she the one who bitched to the schoolboard? Wonwoo calls her ‘VIP client ;)’, which Jeonghan doesn’t really appreciate (“how about u shut the fuck up :)” Has all the passive aggressive energy in the world)

Newsflash! 31 Okay, so Yuta: ex-bf from Japan; Y/N’s first love (what was Joshua then? Didn’t Y/N leave Korea because Joshua didn’t return her feelings in Senior year Highschool?); cheated on her (did he really?); showed her pictures/nudes to his friends;

Newsflash! 31 Am I… the only one who is kind of suspicious of Wonwoo? Like, why was he there? I don’t believe he was there by chance. And even if he was, why would he help Y/N? What does he gain from this? Yeah, SVT’s motto is ‘respect women and make them feel happy’, but… it still seems suspicious to me.

Newsflash! 33 DK texting “that?? wasn’t??? supposed to happen????” “where did he even COME FROM” confirms a suspicion of mine – it wasn’t an accident that Wonwoo was there. Or maybe it was? Ugh, I don’t know. All I know is that Wonwoo and DK are both suspicious as hell.

Newsflash! 34 HOLD ON A MF SECOND JEON WONWOO HAS A CLIENT WHO IS CALLED SOHYE. A CLINGY CLIENT. SOHYE AND SOHEE AREN’T TOO FAR APART. MAYBE SISTERS…? A SISTER WHO IS MAD THAT HER SISTER WASN’T TREATED ALL THAT NICELY BY WONWOO. THAT’S WHY SHE’S AFTER Y/N – BECAUSE SHE THINKS Y/N AND WONWOO ARE ACTUALLY DATING. IT WOULD MAKE SO MUCH SENSE THO BECAUSE CUPIDHAOS ALSO SAID ‘Sohee is connected to SVT but not in a way you think’ THAT WAY SHE’S CONNECTED TO SVT (HER SISTER IS WONWOO’S CLIENT) AND WE DEFINITELY WOULD’VE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT. YOOOOO

Newsflash! 37 Jeonghan chewing Y/N out… and showing a possible motive.

Also Y/N is a dumbass for believing you can’t get phones in Thailand. HOW DUMB DO YOU HAVE TO BE??? Honestly. I mean, I get it if they were like, in a really rural part of Thailand, but somehow I doubt that

Move! 3 DK not be cryptic for 1 minute challenge: failed. BOI- “oh y/n this is where the story starts my dear friend” ???? Dear friend sounds so threatening. Like, what did Y/N do to you?

Move! 4 Why does Seungkwan want to keep Y/N away from SVT so desperately? Like, if Y/N can prove to them that the whole thread is a lie, she has 6 more people on her side. That would give her a lot more credibility, to be honest. Does Seungkwan have a reason for keeping Y/N away from SVT?

Move! 4 Chaeyoung is… surprisingly good… and QUICK… at getting Jimin’s and Seokjin’s number… even after they changed it… That’s suspicious. How good is Chaeyoung with tech?

Move! 4 Someone wanted Y/N info. And they were willing to pay for it. (This is before Y/N left, right after Jihoon posted the picture of being on the train to Busan with Y/N. So someone planned all this before Y/N even left.)

Move! 4 Jimin’s and Seokjin’s education and jobs have been threatened. (By whom exactly? Schoolboard? Or just a ‘random’ person? An anonymous person? They don’t know either – anonymous.) They were forbidden from talking to SVT (someone wants to prevent SVT from finding out the truth…) or explaining themselves.

Move! 5 Y/N mentions deleting all the photos she had of Yuta from her phone. But maybe Yuta still had some? Also (that happened to me) if you have a Google account and don’t adjust your setting, pictures taken on your phone will be saved on your Google Drive. As a backup. (I once deadass couldn’t get rid of 3 GB WORTH OF PICTURES BECAUSE OF THIS). Maybe that’s how someone got the pictures? Hacked Y/N’s email?

Move! 5 Soonyoung is very quick to point to Yuta. Then again, Yuta looks very suspicious. So… a ruse, probably.

Move! 5 DK “I trust no one and you shouldnt either” just… why should we trust YOU telling us not to trust anyone? Hm?

Move! 5 Vernon still hanging out with SVT (when did he even become friends with them? Nothing of that was mentioned during Newsflash! ? How did that happen??) is very suspicious. Like, isn’t there a conflict of interest? Or is he just stringing along either side? Making SVT believe he is on their side, or making Y/N believe he is on her side. Also, has Vernon met Sohee?? Or did he only hang out with SVT before the thread was posted? (But if that were the case… Minghao wouldn’t retweet it and Wonwoo wouldn’t say ‘we should do that again’.) Vernon, you’re very suspicious now.

Move! 5 Also interesting to note: Vernon practically pushes Y/N into Wonwoo’s direction. First saying that Mingaho isn’t a fan of Y/N anymore (true, I guess), but then leading her to Wonwoo? Did he know Wonwoo was the weakest link/the one who had doubts? Does he know Wonwoo still has feelings for Y/N, and is trying to push them together? Is Vernon playing something???

Move! 6 “You just disappearing out of nowhere was a bit weird” HOE YOU SAW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED??? SEUNGCHEOL, MINGYU, JEONGHAN AND Y/N WERE IN YOUR APARTMENT ON THAT EVENING??? YOU WITNESSED HOW JEONGHAN YELLED AT Y/N WHEN SHE WAS ALREADY A MESS?? AND YOU THINK IT’S WEIRD SHE RAN AWAY AND NEEDED SOME TIME? BOI-

Move! 6 One of Wonwoo’s answers indicated that he didn’t text Seungkwan or Chaeyoung and never asked for clarification, but just believed Sohee. He also never asked Vernon or Chan (again, why Vernon? And why is DK and Hoshi missing here??)

Move! 7 Jihoon mentions Y/N being pulled into things she didn’t do since Sohee appeared – is he talking about the thread saying Y/N manipulated Wonwoo (a whole lie, and SVT KNOWS THAT), or is there something more? Wasn’t there once the talk of rumors? What kind of rumors? More than what is written in the thread??? Ouf…

Move! 7 Mingyu outright says "Wonwoo I thought you liked Sohee…" Makes me suspicious. Did Sohee specifically target Wonwoo? Or is Wonwoo just pretending to be on Y/N's side? Hm...

Move! 8 DK clearly hinting towards Yuta being behind it all… but can we trust DK.

Suspects and why they would do it:

Chaeyoung:

Might still hold a massive grudge against SVT, and doesn’t want Y/N associate with them (Not logical – why would Jihoon and Wonwoo be okay? Why would she keep them around? They’re SVT too, and they ghosted her too, unlike Joshua.)

Might still hold a massive grudge against SVT and wants to get revenge (Once again – why are Jihoon and Wonwoo fine? They are/were SVT too.) (Thread/Rumors mainly hurt Y/N, not SVT.)

Holds a massive grudge against a specific member (don’t know who – maybe Jeonghan? Maybe one of the guys who overran Y/N?) and wants to ruin them. Orchestrated this whole thing and ‘leads’ the ‘investigation’ so it’ll lead to (a) certain member(s), in order to ruin them or keep them away from Y/N.

Got extremely jealous with how popular Y/N became with SVT. SVT is neglecting her once again, and Y/N is neglecting her as well, hanging out with her new friends instead. So, she wants to keep Y/N away from them, and hopes that this break of trust will cause Y/N to not be friends with SVT anymore, even if the situation gets cleared. She can be friends with Y/N again, Y/N will spend a lot of time with her again, and Chaeyoung’s happy again. (Might be psycho, but who knows…? Some people are crazy. And Chaeyoung seems very bossy with Y/N. (Granted Y/N needs it because DEAR LORD but still…))

General Reason for SVT members:

They feel betrayed and used by Y/N. She just left them, without even saying goodbye to them (she only texted Joshua before she left, as far as we know). They feel manipulated by her, and want to get revenge on her.

Or stereotypical ‘If I cannot have her, no one can have her’ or ‘If he cannot have her, no one can have her’. Y/N doesn’t want to be her girlfriend? (Or the girlfriend of one of their friends – JH and SC, for example.) Then you’ll be no one’s girlfriend. And I’ll drag you down.

Seungcheol:

Angry and hurt that Y/N immediately ran away after he got injured (for her, might I add), so he might feel like he was manipulated 

Jeonghan:

Angered at how Y/N treated Seungcheol and the rest of SVT, unknowingly strumming everyone along. Literally blamed Y/N for ‘everything going to shit’ into her face. Could be prone to enlisting the help of someone to tear Y/N down.

Joshua:

Extremely frustrated with Y/N. Feels betrayed by her and wants revenge. Finally snapped.

(Feels like he doesn’t know his friend anymore, which is why he believes so easily.)

Jun:

Deeply hurt that Y/N just went away without even saying anything. Wants to get revenge on her. Feels like she didn’t give him a chance, and now wants her to pay for it.

Soonyoung:

Frustrated that Y/N is only spending time with SVT now, wants to bring her back to her old circle of friends

Wonwoo:

Fell in love with Y/N, realized there’s too much competition and decided to get rid of them. (But why would he be hesitant when Y/N contacts him? Wouldn’t he want to be immediately on her side, to get into her good graces? But that could make him suspicious again… Hm…)

Fell in love with Y/N before the others did, before Jeonghan ever saw her in Communications class. Knows the others are competition, and wants to separate Y/N from them, hoping the break of trust will prevent Y/N from getting close to them.

Jihoon:

Knows all of the members. Knows they’re not good for Y/N. Wants to keep them away from Y/N. Hopes the massive break of trust will prevent Y/N from becoming friends with them again, even after the situation is cleared up. ’Leads’ the ‘investigation’ with Chaeyoung to lead it away from himself.

DK:

Homeboy knows too much. He said ‘and this is where the plot begins’ when Jeonghan sat next to Y/N at the beginning of Newsflash!. Always knew what was going on, even if it were unlikely for him to know. Could there be a reason for him orchestrating everything? Did Y/N wrong him at some point?

I feel like we all forget that in the first profile post, it’s stated that Mingyu and DK are close friends. Maybe he got über salty at Y/N not getting together with Mingyu, like he wanted to (?)?

Mingyu:

Feels abandoned by Y/N. Wants her to feel the same abandonment.

Minghao:

In the same class as Y/N – maybe a petty ass reason but she could’ve been too much competition? So he wanted to get rid of her? Essentially make her so disliked she’s forced to leave for her own sake.

Seungkwan:

Frustrated that Y/N spent so much time with her new friends, barely finding time for her old friends.

Vernon:

Maybe wanted to get into SVT, but got rejected. Tries to shake them up (Wonwoo and Jihoon left SVT already) so he maybe gets a chance to join SVT.

Seems to know an awful lot; pointed Y/N into Wonwoo’s direction. If not the culprit, then someone who helped? But why would he betray his friend? Well… has Y/N been a good friend?

Chan:

Same as Vernon possibly.

Mad that Y/N doesn’t hang out with him and the others as much anymore, and wants to bring her away from SVT.

Yuta:

Angry that Y/N won’t take him back, and that she humiliated him in public (she hit him and called him a dick)

First plan (just outright ask Y/N to come back to him) didn’t work. Now, next plan is set in motion.

(Most likely to be a red herring. He’s a bit too obvious.)

Yiren:

Y/N ‘stole’ Jun from her for a moment. He’s back with her now (both of them are Clownsssss), but still – hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. It could be a reason why she would want to harm Y/N, and make her stay away from Jun.

Sohye:

Clingy client of Wonwoo. Is not happy AT ALL that her favorite SVT member is spending so much time with another girl, someone who is not a client. Maybe wants to get rid of Y/N and keep Wonwoo to herself?

Sohee: Popular Theories:

Ex of Yuta who’s angry at Y/N because Yuta dumped her to get Y/N back. Wants to ruin her to get back at her.

Related to Seungcheol/Chaeyoung/Seungkwan/Anyone and either isn’t happy with how Y/N treated her (relative is not a dick in this route) or is the henchman of her relative, who holds a serious grudge against Y/N and wants to see her go down.

Ex-friend of Y/N who is angry that Y/N abandoned and forgot about her. (Maybe she was mentioned in Newsflash! 11?)

My theory:

Sister/Cousin/Very close friend of Sohye (clingy client of Wonwoo). Angered to see her sister/cousin/close friend being ignored by Wonwoo and not have his full attention anymore. Also think Wonwoo might be falling for Y/N, and doesn’t want her sister/cousin/close friend to experience heartbreak.

Chaeyoung’s Father:

Already has a history of being controlling over who interacts with his daughter

(Is he still part of the Schoolboard? And does the School still restrict SVT, or is that no more?)

What does he see: His daughter in distress, talking to SVT again, leaving for an entire summer… all because of who? Y/N.

Knows he can’t separate Chaeyoung from Y/N – childhood friends after all – but he can separate Y/N and Chaeyoung from SVT. Then he can start working on separating them.

‘Bitchy’ Client of Jeonghan (Eunha?):

Could be the one who bitched to the schoolboard when Jeonghan wanted to resign from SVT for Chaeyoung – or not.

Could be jealous of Y/N taking Jeonghan away from her, and wants to keep him away from Y/N

Jaehyun:

That one dude Chaeyoung dated for a hot second (were they really together??), best friends with Yuta (makes him suspicious!)

Could be in on the whole plot, planned to get to Y/N through Chaeyoung, but after that failed, they’re now doing Plan B

Unknown:

In Newsflash! 11 Y/N mentioned she once was too late in mending her relationship with someone. (She let someone slip away, as she said it.) Who was it? And could it be that the person is back, angry at Y/N for letting her slip away and wanting to get revenge?

Funny-informative things:

Seungcheol considered Joshua still a brother, even after Joshua left SVT and basically told them to get lost. So it’s extra ironic that he told Jihoon to leave because of a girl he just met ~2 months ago (Newsflash! 4)

You know, it’s really ironic – in Newsflash! 10 Joshua cites the fact that SVT just left Chaeyoung behind as his reason as to why he doesn’t tell Chaeyoung the truth. It’s very obvious he’s angry about them just leaving her. But look at what he’s doing now, leaving his friend of YEARS for… well, poor reasons. At least poorer reasons than SVT had to avoid Chaeyoung. Their education was at stake, while for him… what is at stake?

I like Jun calling Mingaho out on his bullshit in Newsflash! 22. First telling Jun that Y/N doesn’t like him that way and that he should go on a date with Yiren but then later on turn around and tell him ‘omg it was obvious she had feelings for you why did you play with her!!!’ Hao you just sank.

Newsflash! 26 Joshua’s whole tirade about “You should come to me when you need something, I should walk you home at night, it should be me, not Jun or Mingyu or Jeonghan” just rubs me in the wrong way. Like, dude – you weren’t there for her, but others were. So Y/N learned ‘oh, ok, can’t go to Joshua, I’ll go to someone else’. You can’t blame her for that. She went and found a different support system because you weren’t there for her. Stop being so controlling and demanding – even if you’re her friend since childhood, she doesn’t owe you shit. She doesn’t have to rely just on you, and doesn’t owe you a relationship. (Gosh, sorry went off on a tangent.)

Newsflash! 28 Jeonghan saying he’ll wait for Y/N until she’s ready (a whOLE LIE)

Newsflash! 36 Y/N doing the right thing and PUNCHING YUTA LIKE HE DESERVES GOODBYE HOE

THE MF IRONY OF JUN TEXTING “you don’t have any rights rn ur a dick” TO JEONGHAN IN Newsflash! 38 I’M DIEING XD HONEY, YOU ARE DICK YOURSELF. AND YOU’LL CONTINUE TO BE A DICK. GOSH YOU’RE MY BIAS WRECKER BUT HONESTLY SCREW Newsflash!/Move!Jun (Can we please get a moment where Jeonghan is convinced of Y/N's innocence but Jun doesn't believe her stubbornly, making Y/N cry, and then later when he sees he was wrong and tries to apologize Jeonghan pulls a "you don't have any right rn ur a dick" PLEASE???)

Also thank you Lee Jihoon for telling the guys they need to freaking CHILL. “throwing yourselves at her like DOGS” is exactly the phrase I would’ve used. 10/10 (Newsflash! 38)

Newsflash! 40 Joshua being a whole clown and texting “ill wait an eternity for you even if I get heartbroken in the end” like yeah, look at where you are now

Okay so to get this right: Y/N, Chaeyoung and Seungkwan have left for 1 week; Y/N drops her phone into a river in Thailand; that same week the thread was posted (but not on the exact same day?); very soon after that Sohee shows up and lies. That's… quick. How did no one of SVT think "wait, how come she showed up so soon after the thread was posted??" They really have -5 braincells, huh.

Questions I have/Things which don't add up for me:

Why was Chae’s Dad okay with Joshua still being friends with Chaeyoung? Is it because they didn’t have a thing for each other? Also, Chaeyoung's father still could've threatened Joshua. Either by threatening to take away his scholarship (if he has one) or by threatening to kick him out of university. Why was Joshua fine?

Why was it only Joshua who held to Chaeyoung when shit went down back then? I can understand Jeonghan, since his education was threatened, and Seungcheol, since he seems to be close with Jeonghan. But all the others? Did none of them, of all 12 (10) of them, care enough for Chaeyoung to say ‘I am resigning from SVT, I want to keep being friends with you’? My point is: it seems that SVT has a history of dropping people quite easily. Especially girls. Which is ironic, since SVT’s motto/theme is about respecting women and making them feel happy.

Then again - for how long have Joshua and Chaeyoung been friends? For how long have Chaeyoung and Y/N been friends? We know Joshua and Y/N are childhood friends (as far as I remember), but since Joshua said he met Chaeyoung during his time in SVT and only got close to her at that point, I don't think Y/N and Chaeyoung were childhood friends. But we also know Chaeyoung and Y/N were friends in Highschool, or else Chaeyoung wouldn't know about the reason why Y/N left for Japan. So... was Joshua just not aware of Chaeyoung, the best friend of his childhood friend? (How would that work??)

How did Y/N not know of SVT at the beginning of Newsflash! ? Like, she has to ask Chaeyoung who they are, even though Y/N has already been there for 2 Quarters. I get being a reclusive, I am too, but even I know about the very popular stuff going on around me. And SVT has to be popular. A host club/frat like theirs, not popular? They wouldn't bring in money if they weren't. And they do, as far as we know. So... is Y/N so unaware of her surroundings?

What also confuses me – we know Chaeyoung and Y/N have history. We know Y/N and Joshua have history. But Seungkwan and Y/N? We don’t know about them. We’re told he’s close friends with Y/N (Mingyu asking Seungkwan for help for getting Y/N and Seungcheol together, Seungkwan being the one to travel along Chaeyoung and Y/N), but we don’t see it. We see as much of their friendship – even less – than of Y/N’s friendship with Vernon, Dino, Hoshi and DK. I’m just- what’s their history? Why was he the one to travel alongside Chaeyoung and Y/N? Yeah, Chaeyoung said it’s because he’s not trying to get into Y/N’s pants, but… neither is Vernon or Dino. Or Seokmin. Hoshi is on shaky grounds, but I don’t think he wants to either. So, why Seungkwan?

Did DK and Y/N ever actually meet? Either during Newsflash! or Move! ? Because we know Y/N spent time with Vernon, Chan, Seungkwan, Soonyoung, Joshua and Chaeyoung on different occasions, but never was there any talk of DK. Speaking of which - how did DK and Y/N become friends? Was DK just an 'add-on' when Y/N started tutoring Chan and became friends with him? Does that really make them friends?

And... that's all I have. Sorry if I lost some things when I re-submitted them! And let's hope it'll work now!!

I really love what you do. Keep up the amazing work!!! 💕💕

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Sailor Moon The Super Live Report - September 7th (first performance, musical note team)

Place: Aiia Theatre Placement: Row 8, Seat 32 (first row, second block, roughly middle)

Show part Not gonna lie, the only reason why I went a third time was because of Chiyuu. Kasai Tomomi, former member of AKB48, is Sailor Moon this time. I’m not even that big of a fan of hers, tbh, she’s done some stuff I really don’t agree with in the past, but she’s besties with one of my fave singers and her last album was LIT. So hopefully this is her new STAR-T.  

This performance turned out to be my favourite of the three. The seats were the best, the high touch was the best (partly because I went to the previous high touch), vocals were on point, Chiyuu was great and so many other things.

To start with, they open the doors an hour before show time. You then need to wait in the lobby for half an hour before they let you into the seating area. So there I was, chilling in the lobby, when two older ladies come up and talk to a staff member after being introduced by another staff member. Jaws dropped. It was the original voice actresses for Jupiter and Venus!

They were standing less than a meter from me! It was honestly so surreal?? They were dressed casual and just chatted normally before going off to the side to wait like everyone else. Rica (Venus) had a ridiculous amount of Venus merch on her, which was honestly adorable. She also responded to me on twitter later <3 (Speaking of which, I commented on Kunzite’s insta twice and got responses both time. She seems lovely, so please support her too!)

As a quick cast comparison, personally I like this group’s vocals. I haven’t checked but they probably are more musically trained. Chiyuu was an idol for six years or so, and is still continuing her solo career, so it’d kinda make sense if the note team was made of those with a musical background. I did think the vocals were a bit more towards “we’re senshi” side; the heart team was more “we’re teenagers who moonlight as senshi” type vocals (lighter? I guess? Higher pitched?). However, all of the vocals were a lot more stable in this team, with none of the mic issues etc of heart team.

I still prefer Sena as Venus. She was a lot more bubbly, while also being able to do the senshi side well. This Venus had very little reaction to Kunzite’s death. Though I did notice this time that the rest of the senshi appear to get their memories back at this time too. Jupiter really stood out this time around. You could see she was putting her absolute all into it and I can really respect that. This Mercury was also really great. Her voice was just sweet enough, but had the power heart team’s Mercury lacked. As a whole, this cast seemed less nervous and more confident, and smiled a lot more often.

Kasai as Moon was AMAZING! The other Moon stuck to the script, but Kasai kept adding in natural sound? I guess? She made the dialogue flow more, by adding a few extra words or cried more or whatever. It made it seem less like a play, and more real. She definitely got the dreamy side of Usagi down, and she held the confidence of Moon against Beryl, which I adored. She was honestly the perfect Usagi and I’m so glad she was able to have this opportunity. If this is released on dvd (note, no camera at shonichi or tonight, but there was a camera for the last show of heart team), I hope they release a version with her team <3

There were pretty much no mistakes from this cast. They seem to have improved on everyone else’s mistakes. This isn’t just the cast – the crew has done this as well. For example, where the classmates are zombified, they’ve had more glow in the dark components to their costumes. There were no mic issues. There was no issue with the sheet/Beryl’s dark energy.

The only mistake came from Tuxedo Mask. He couldn’t get the veil into Usagi’s hair. In the end he was like ‘well who cares lmao’ and put it on one of the horses lmaoooo Oops, sorry, another lie. Moon accidentally turned the moon rod on for a brief second. I still think the rod should have been painted so it wasn’t as ugly and it should have been kept on tbh. Overall, it was a flawless performance.

As for the differences in the performance, apart from Usagi being more vocal in the best way’s possible, it was essentially the same show. There was still no dialogue from the leaving students, though Haruna stamped her feet, in what I’m assuming is a “Usgai get your butt out of this classroom NOW” type thing. Shame, because that bit of ‘see you’ ‘oh we have homework’ type thing did the same as Usagi – make it more human and natural.

I’m going to be biased and say my favourite part was when Usagi runs through the audience at the start yelling that she’s late. I currently have blue hair, so I stick out, and I was right where she runs past. When she’s running, she talks to a few audience members. Standing out, she pointed at my necklace.

“Wow! That necklace is cute! How much was it?” Me: -doing my best goldfish impression because Kasai Tomomi si ridiculously cute in person and talking to me?????- “WOW! A million dollars?! EXPENSIVE!”

She then ran off, remembering she was late. (All of this was in Japanese.)

So considering she was the reason I came, I more than feel like I got my money’s worth from this show XD

Song part Same same. But different.

This cast definitely had a much more powerful La Soldier, but I liked heart team’s Otome no Policy better. Their voices were softer and a lot better for the more emotional songs imo.

For Moonlight Densetsu, when they were walking around the audience, I managed to get high fives from all of them bar Moon and Mask~

Mercury came by first briefly, followed by Venus iirc, then Jupiter (she’s got such a nice smile!~) and then Mars. Mars kinda dragged her hand so it was a long high touch haha

At the end of the show, they release a bunch of streamers? I’ve honestly never seen the point of grabbing them because what do you do with them?? But I grabbed one that night. Lucky I was so quick because a staff member came up straight away to snatch them away lol

(But what do I do with it..?)

The crowd was really interesting. A lot of the crowd was male, and there for Tomomi (a lot of female fans were too). However, a lot of the dudes had no idea what Sailor Moon was meant to be about (beside magical girl) so while waiting before the show (which started 15 minutes late? Everyone was getting low key annoyed) and after, waiting for the high touch, a lot of girls were trying to explain to these middle aged business men what the show was about. So shout out to the Sailor Moon community for being cool with new people coming into the fandom, even if it is for just a moment.

High Touch The line up was Jupiter, Mercury, Mask, Moon, Mars, Venus.

I barely had any time with Jupiter, but she has a pretty smile so who cares. I told her today was great and she was happy with that. Mercury commented that we had the same colour hair so I stan her for life now. She’s so cute! Mask remembered me from the other day~ (I mean, how many blue haired foreigners have come to see the show?? ;;;) There was a little bit of a hold up, so I was able to hold her hand~ I told her today was amazing and I’d continue to support her, and the returning smile I got killed me.

Tomomi also remembered me! “Oh! It’s you from earlier!” Again, told her it was great and I’d support her. She looks so good as Moon? Like, really natural. I forgot how short she was tho ;; She’s a good 12cm shorter than me lol

Mars was so cool and kind too. Same for Venus, but as much as I liked her, Sena is the only Venus for me. Sorry!

Tonight I got Mars as my bookmark thing, so I’m super happy! Overall, this experience was fun! Tonight was an amazing night, and Chiyuu did such a great job as Moon, so I’m sure by closing night she had it seriously nailed. The whole three times were great fun, and I had debated getting a forth ticket. Not only is that slight overkill, but the rest of the shows were only giving goods away, so not worth it. But a great night was had and I’d highly recommend the show. Go see them in France if you can!

Summary Enjoyable: 5/5 Worth the ticket price: 5/5 Re-watchable: 4/5 If this was sold on dvd, would I buy it: 4/5

[thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain]

My WrestleMania Overview

1. Andre the Giant Battle Royal | Winner: Woken Matt Hardy (with an assist from Bray Wyatt)

This was a pretty good match as far as Battle Royals go. They can sometimes be hectic and hard to know where to look. Some people like Shelton, Goldust and Dolph got some chances to shine when they usually wouldn’t so I enjoyed that. The interesting thing however was the win of Matt Hardy. I was sort of expecting him to win (once I saw Elias wasn’t there, more on him later), but the addition of Bray Wyatt was a little more unexpected. It seems that the Lake of Reincarnation has turned Bray into a Woken Warrior, and I love it! Bray hasn’t gotten too many wins, despite having an awesome gimmick, and the team of Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy (and a certain Brother Nero) will be unstoppable. I want them to go to Smackdown to tackle the teams there. Them against the New Day, Bludgeon Brothers or Usos would be great. And will this win start the Woken Hardy’s Quest for Gold in the WWE? I guess time will tell.

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe)

2. Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali | Winner (and new champion): Cedric Alexander

This was an all around amazing match. The heart and the soul of 205 Live brought a great match that showed why the Cruiserweights should get more respect than they currently do. 

Although I was rooting for Mustafa Ali, this win for Cedric was long overdue, and so I am satisfied. Congrats Cedric, you earned it.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

3. Women’s Battle Royal | Winner: Naomi

I have a couple of beefs with this match, even though I think it was a pretty decent Battle Royal. The first is this: if not everyone is going to get a WrestleMania entrance, then no one should. It bothered me that Becky, Bayley and Sasha (even tho I love them all) got their entrances and everyone else (Natalya, Mickie, Naomi) came out in bulk. Another thing that I wanted was to get more of a spotlight on the NXT girls. They all did a great job and I wish they would have highlighted them more. So in case you didn’t hear their names (I know I didn’t), let me introduce you to them. Kairi Sane, Kavita Devi, Peyton Royce, Dakota Kai, Bianca Belair and Taynara Conti. You girls are the future.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory​)

Back to the match, like I said, it was pretty good as far as Battle Royals go. I thought Carmella would cash in her MITB later in the night and that was why she only spent .01 seconds in the match, but it seems that’s not the case (more on this later). 

I loved seeing Sasha and Bayley square off in the center of the ring. I’m waiting for the day that they get a one-on-one Wrestlemania moment, but for now, I’m happy they got to do that, and that Bayley threw her out the same way Sasha did at Rumble. 

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe​)

However, it was not meant to be for the Hugger, as she forgot that she had Naomi still in the ring. In the end, Naomi prevailed and became the first Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal winner. Congrats to her. Now can they just make a better trophy, please?

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory​)

Now onto the main card!

4. The Miz (champ) vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor | Winner: Seth Rollins

Before starting, I want to take a moment to thank Balor for his entrance. It was definitely the simplest of the three, but it showed the type of person he is, and it was a bold statement. The Balor club is for everyone, and I am happy to be a part of it. 

(gif credit to @jimdrugfree​)

Overall, this was a great match by some of the best in the business. We’ve seen Balor and Seth put on some great matches before, but pairing them with Miz, arguably one of the best and most talented wrestlers, was a recipe for success. All of them got their moments to shine, and Seth came out victorious.

(gif credit to @jarillian​)

Congrats to Seth Rollins, on now being a Grand Slam Champion! It’s very well deserved, and I’m hoping he can get some good storylines in the future.

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe​)

5. Charlotte (champ) vs. Asuka | Winner: Charlotte

I want to first take a moment for Charlotte’s entrance, which was sheer, golden perfection. 

(gif credit to @jimdrugfree​)

Anyway, onto the match. This match was next level, and showed us why these two are some of the best in the Women’s division right now. It was smooth and it was dynamic and it was crazy in all the best ways.

There were power moves, there were submissions, there were kickouts. It was everything a good match should be, and honestly, I think it should have been later in the night. It could have even been main event. 

(gif credits to @jarillian​)

But the ending... ASUKA TAPPED????? LIKE ACTUALLY LOST????

Personally, I feel it was premature to break Asuka’s streak (especially at her first Wrestlemania, more on that later), but if anyone could beat it, Charlotte definitely was the woman to do it. It seems no one should go to a New Orleans WrestleMania with a streak. However, as a submission specialist, I’m a little salty that she TAPPED. Although, Charlotte’s one-armed Figure Eight was a thing of beauty.

However, my favorite part may have been the camaraderie at the end. Cuz at the end of the day, Charlotte was ready for Asuka.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory​)

6. Randy Orton (champ) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev | Winner: Jinder Mahal

Maybe it was because it was placed after such a shocking and dynamic match, but this match sort of seemed like filler. I’m not satisfied seeing Randy as the US Champ. I just haven’t really been able to get invested in Bobby Roode since he came here (which is probably due in part to the fact that his theme gets on my nerves lol), and after Jinder was just the Smackdown champ, being the US champ felt like a step down. But you want to know who should have won?

Rusev.

Rusev has been passed up on so many opportunities. He’s a great wrestler and is hilarious, and he’s top selling merch. I don’t know what else Rusev has to do to get the belt he deserves. However, Jinder pulled out the victory, so congrats to him. I am happy that Jinder has been able to come back and do well for himself, first with the Smackdown belt and now with this, but I think it was the wrong call this time. 

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

7. Stephanie and Triple H vs. Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey | Winner: Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey

I wanna start off by saying I love Triple H and Stephanie. They’re the definition of a power couple and are great entertainers and wrestlers. And their joint entrance was great!

(gif credit to @totaldivasepisodes)

Okay, I’m gonna come out and say it. Ronda did amazing in her first match!

There I said it. Ronda haters can unfollow/send hate now. (***see end***)

This match was arguably one of the best matches of the night, which is a very impressive feat for a rookie. She showed power, she showed skill, she showed strength. She did everything she could. And not only did she do that with Steph, she did it to Triple H.

(gif credit to @jarillian)

She showed an insane amount of skill and training for someone in their first match, including rolling out of the powerbomb into an armbar.

(gif credit to @thearchitectwwe)

My favorite thing about Steph is that she’s a full fledged entertainer, and so not only did she perform well physically, she added a bit of humor to the match as well.

I totally expected Steph and Triple H to have to carry the match (on account of her greenness), but that wasn’t the case at all. Ronda did amazing. I understand the apprehension of her coming to WWE since we’ve been burned by Brock (more on that later), but in my eyes, she silenced every doubt I had. Yes, she was a bit sloppy at times, and she definitely needs better gear, but it was an extraordinary debut. My only wish is that we see more submissions/a different finisher from her in the future. I know the armbar is her signature, but it can become a bit cheesy if used too much.

Welcome to the WWE, Ronda Rousey. I have a feeling you’ll be here for a while.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

8. The Usos (champ) vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers | Winner: The Bludgeon Brothers

Once again, I don’t know if it was just because of placement, but this match did nothing for me. It felt like a squash match, and while I’m very happy the Bludgeon Brothers finally get some gold, the Usos deserved better on their first WrestleMania on the main card. Congrats to the Bludgeon Brothers. I just wish the match went longer/better. It felt like it was squeezed in.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory​)

9. John Cena vs. Elias The Undertaker | Winner: The Undertaker

Speaking of, this section was a bit of a mess in my opinion. So first, John Cena, who swore to attend as a fan, comes out. He waits patiently for the Undertaker. Suddenly the lights go dark. I look over to my family and tell them “Plot twist, it’s gonna be Elias”. And guess who came out...

ELIAS!

Now, here’s the thing. I actually wanted to SEE this fight. I believe it was the Christmas Raw where they had a great match, and since then, I’ve been calling for Elias vs. Cena at Mania. What I did NOT want to see, however, was Elias get squashed at Mania. 

But then, we see the lights go out again, and we’re met with this sight.

To be honest, I half expected this to drag out until SummerSlam, so I’m happy I’m wrong with that. But this was not the fabled Cena vs. Undertaker match everyone dreamed of. It was another squash match at best, and Cena looked downright terrified the whole time.

Is this not what you wanted????

Anyway, the match was relatively quick, which was good for Taker’s sake. And he left with a victory in New Orleans, where he suffered his loss. I said it last year and I’ll say it again. Thank you, Taker.

(gif credits to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

10. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan | Winner: Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan

I’m gonna be honest, any Shane match gives me a high level of anxiety, but Shane and DANIEL BRYAN made it even stronger. I was super excited for this match but also dreading it at the same time. I am a Daniel Bryan fan, but I was really worried about him getting back in the ring, especially at Mania where his adrenaline will be so high. But damn, was it good to see Bryan in a wrestling ring again.

First note, SHANE TOOK A BEATING! And I was surprised he did, especially since he actually did have diverticulitis not too long ago. He is a trooper, and did some great moves.

Now onto DANIEL BRYAN! I’m sorry, I really never thought I’d get to analyze Daniel’s fighting again. This is Lita at the Rumble all over again. At least I didn’t cry this time. (Lita was my idol growing up, I was sensitive!)

Anyway, back on topic. I was worried about Daniel, but I was very happy with what I saw. First of all, there was no sign of ring rust, which is great. Second, he seems to have modified his style a lot, which I’m thankful for. Everything is done safer, and with a lot more care, even the high risk moves.

There are still some things he has to still modify for safety (no more dropkicks, please), and some moves people have to be really careful delivering (WHO BOOKED HIS FIRST MATCH AGAINST SAMI “HELLUVA KICK” ZAYN???), but other than that, he looked great in his comeback.

And man, was it great to see the YES lock again.

Welcome back, Daniel. We missed you.

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

11. Alexa Bliss (champ) vs. Nia Jax | Winner: Nia Jax

First of all, I am so happy these best friends got to share this WrestleMania moment, They both deserve it. And before I talk about the match, let me talk about Alexa’s amazing entrance. She really is a goddess.

(gif credit to @jarillian)

I know a lot of people were salty about the bodyshaming angle, but this was storytelling at its finest. Even the match told a story with every move.

First, Nia had some great strategy with taking Mickie out first. It was smart and gave her the advantage. I do wish that Mickie gets a push after this tho. Maybe a feud with Nia?

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

I was a bit worried that this would be a squash match, but that wasn’t the case. Between a Twisted Bliss from the ringpost, a drop off the second rope and some great storytelling, this was actually a pretty good match. 

(gif credit t @jarillian)

Congrats Nia. You definitely earned it, and your title reign is already inspirational to so many. 

(gif credit to @jimdrugfree)

12. AJ Styles (champ) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura | Winner: AJ Styles

Let me start by RAVING over this work of art that was Shinsuke’s entrance. Loving the rock version. Can that be his new theme, please?

(gif credit to @frentique)

On paper, this match was a great one. Some may even say it was a dream match. However, the entire match very much favored AJ. AJ looked great, showing off his strength and his technical fighting, but for some reason, it didn’t seem to do much to help Shinsuke, making Asuka and Charlotte outshine them.

I was disappointed in Shinsuke’s loss, but I see him come in with the belt and present it to AJ. I’m ready to praise him for being so classy, until...

The low blow seen round the world!

Earlier in the day, Shinsuke said that WrestleMania would mark the beginning of his story, and he is not wrong. I’m excited to see the new, heel Shinsuke. 

13. The Bar (champ) vs. Braun Strowman and his mystery partner | Winner: Braun Strowman and... NICHOLAS???

Mark the day down, guys. April 8, 2018 was the day that Braun “Flipped Over an Ambulance with Someone In It” Strowman officially turned into a babyface. How this happened? I have no idea. Am I here for it? Hell yes!

For weeks, Braun had been needing a partner for this match. He comes out alone, and I’m thinking Big Show or Samoa Joe or Big Cass is gonna come out... Nothing happens. Suddenly he declares he’s gonna have a partner from the crowd. I’m suspicious, but I figure this is gonna be a Santino Marella moment and there’ll be a wrestler in the crowd that’s gonna come up this way. Until he chooses the smallest little boy he could find. 

Nicholas, the most terrified little boy I’ve ever seen, was his tag team partner, and if it couldn’t get any better, he actually tagged him in for a hot second.

Despite this hilarious twist of events, Braun singlehandedly (no shade to Nick) won the belts, in what was a pretty good match. It was short, but it was good. 

And so now, half of the Raw Tag champs is a child. This is bizarre in the best way, and I’m excited to see who replaces Nicholas on Raw tonight. (SOMEONE HAS TO, RIGHT?)

Congrats, Nicholas. You got your WrestleMania moment. 

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

14. Brock Lesnar (champ) vs. Roman Reigns | Winner: Brock Lesnar

And so... the main event of the night. I wish I had something more positive to say. This match was... not the best. Roman gave everything he had, and Brock... well, he gave his suplexes and F5′s, but not much else. In terms of brute strength, this match was up there, as it’s not easy to get slammed through a table, but it wasn’t very exciting, and it got a bit scary when Brock busted Roman’s head open and he started gushing. By the end, he was covered in his own blood, and he lost. I really am disappointed in this, because the fans were FINALLY starting to get behind Roman. He was at a spot where giving him the belt would have actually resulted in some CHEERS, which is something he’s struggled to get, even though he’s one of the best in the business right now. I just don’t get why you would have Roman defending the full time talent and finally getting over just to have him lose. I just don’t get it. I will end with a Roman gif, because he deserved better last night. 

(gif credit to @machomanwrestlinghistory)

Other notes/rants: -Literally when is Carmella gonna cash in this MITB? I’m starting to worry that she’s either gonna time out, or she’s gonna waste it. She’s already held it the longest out of anyone EVER. Let her have her moment. -Not only did Rusev get screwed, he was the one who got pinned. -_- -The Usos have been the face of the Tag Division for the longest time, and have basically owned the Smackdown Tag belts all year. This match was a disservice. -What was the point of Royal Rumble PPV? Both winners (and both Japanese wrestlers, might I add) lost in their opportunities. I’m disappointed Asuka and Shinsuke didn’t get the WrestleMania moments they deserved. -I totally forgot to say that Kurt looked great in the ring too. Good job! -The Undertaker match was severely underwhelming. Now that he’s righted the wrong that took place in New Orleans tho, let us please take a note from him and let him rest in peace. -Wondering where Cena goes from here... -As for Ronda’s next opponent, I wanna see either Charlotte, Becky or Sonya. Charlotte is the money fight. Becky would be putting armbar against armbar, and Sonya would just be a great MMA vs MMA match. I also wanna see her fight Alexa cuz I need to see Alexa pull her “broken arm” move on Ronda! -GOD I LOVE SEEING DANIEL FIGHT AGAIN -First order of business, getting Miz and Daniel on the same brand again. That is NOT over yet. -Can we get Mickie turning heel and getting pushed please?? -***I very much respect Ronda as an athlete. I do not agree with her comments, and I don’t like her very much as a person, but she is undeniably talented, and I wish her happiness and success. -So is Nicholas gonna drop out of school and defend the belt with Braun now???? -I’m gonna pretend the night ended with Nicholas.

[comicteaparty]

June 22nd, 2017 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on June 22nd, 2017, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on The Angel with Black Wings by Mharz.

Featured Comment: 

Chat:

RebelVampire

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning. Today we are discussing The Angel with Black Wings by Mharz~! (https://tapas.io/series/tabw) For those new to CTP, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer so pay them no mind if you wish~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! Each chat a top comment will be picked and featured on an ad for this chat, so let’s have a great discussion~! With that said, let us begin with this first question~!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

When Ray was beaten up by the bullies and big Sis wanted to help him but she was stopped by Silver. I think that scene was really impressive, it was strong with so many feelings and gave us the hint that things would just go deeper. Ray's expression passing from "hey I have a guardian angel, things will go well now" to "oh no she's leaving me alone" was pretty good. Don't misunderstand me I like see Ray being beaten up LOL, just, that scene was like "OMG WHAT"

mathtans

(I'll be back as soon as I take care of dinner. ^.^)

RebelVampire

yeah i really liked the imagery for the angel walking away in that scene. it was really powerful and sad overall. especially the one panel where ray had blurred vision cause it was like "oh shit this guy is seriously hurt."

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think it was very well done, specially considering the previous events of interactions between Ray and Big Sis, you could think she would help him out like with the thing with the apple at the lunch time, but nope

Other good scene was, in recent chapters, when Mara stood up against her "friends"

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Hrrrm. I feel like when Mara was trying to apologize to Ray, that was kind of a powerful moment. I feel like Ray's just so angry about things, though understandably so. I've been in that sorta boat myself so I can sympathize a bit with his position.

DracoPlato

so I just reread it so it's fresh in my mind

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I feel for Mara too, though.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Same Kabocha, that was a good one too, you can put in both character's shoes and see things differently

I don't know for which one side

tbh xD

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Another unfortune situation here for me of this is not a comic for me. I was not the audience for this and I am sorry again.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

that apple scene was odd, theres just a floating apple there i know it was just a reflex but that could been handles quieter(edited)

DracoPlato

I think I liked Silver fighting the demons the most

in the mall

mathtans

That was a good scene. I liked the bit in the hospital with Mara, finding out about her younger brother. Threw some earlier stuff into a new perspective, I like that sort of thing.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Yeah! I mean, there's a part of me that doesn't want him to stay angry about it, because it's so unhealthy. >_> I wanna know why Big Sis is tryin' to push forgiveness so hard tho. What exactly did she dooooo

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

I like the art, I think it is really cool! I also really like the design of Silver. But I couldn't read the story after the first chapter.

mathtans

I think black wings come from being unforgiven, maybe.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Why are her wings black, like what did she do to deserve it

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

well most people would call a black winged angel a fallen angel so big sis probably did some dark shit to earn that(edited)

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I IS HERE!!!!

3

DracoPlato

YAY~!

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Since I feel pretty unrelevant for this particular situation, I will just quickly throw my thoughts in

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

and probably because of that Big Sis is usually lonely

Hey Mharz!

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@Queen Brave Hikari of Memes -- I agreeeee. I wanna know more RIGHT NAU

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

The dream scene was also powerful one

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

:y

RebelVampire

i think my favorite scene in the comic is actually when ray first talks to the angel just because i thought him so nervous about giving her a gift was adorable

DracoPlato

oh i did like that

Respheal

Aww yeah xD

DracoPlato

as i thought Ray you're just wasting your money giving a physical object to an angel

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray being so cute cute

I was like "c'mon big sis, at least accept it!"

AngelicEmpyress

im here... unprepared but here

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

"he used some bucks for you"

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

oh Ray has someone who's giving him allowance. He's a school boy. XD

DracoPlato

I had forgotten in the beginning all the foreshadowing that the angel and ray being friends was part of some bigger plan and ray had a sort of mission

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Feather thoughts: As someone not part of this audience for this comic, I really loved the art and the design of Silver. Particularly for me, I am not a fan of characters in high school setting unless it's has some sort of fighting like a fighting high school or training people to fight. I also couldn't help but feel really disconnected because I think black wings as people who are part Tengu from too many things I have seen, or crow wings which I love. I am also not fond of stories about Angels unless it's of course, super action intense. Apparently there is fighting later but I don't have the capacity to read through to find the fighting scenes. I hope the comic gets a lot more viewers because it seems awesome but I myself am sorry I can not add to that count.

RebelVampire

mharz speaking of him getting the angel a present, i wanna ask, was that a lot of money or not? cause i converted it to $ but obviously expense depends a lot on the costs around them

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Anyways I will be heading out soon so enjoy yourselves everyone

AngelicEmpyress

thanks feather!

Feather, Duke of Comedic Timing

Mharz is indeed so good at drawing wings

mathtans

Silver is so cool. She's, like, having to balance everything out between the angels and humans. I feel.

AngelicEmpyress

i know!! i want to draw wings like that

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Silver is fucking best

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

@RebelVampire it's around 1-ish bucksss

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I love her in deisgn and personality

AkaLevi

silver is a goddess

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

OMG

mathtans

Oh yeah, hey, I like the little spanish touches like the pesos.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Silver's hilarious. :3

Respheal

The Silver 4koma comics are

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Pesos is actually our currency here as well

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I actually really like the bonus drawings Mharz does for her XD

DracoPlato

I was actually surprised how serious silver is in story rereading it XD

RebelVampire

i appreciate how more mature silver is than all the others

DracoPlato

cause i'm so used to all of Mharz's doodles of her

Respheal

lol!

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

4koma!silver is a troll :3

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

@DracoPlato You haven't seen nothing yet.

mathtans

Well, all the local references I probably should have said. I'm ignorant.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

lmao what about Daddy SIlver

tsk tsk

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Silver is the sunshine from all the broods and angst.

mathtans

Oh, some of those bonus drawings, wow... I was laughing so much at the Q&A, well played...

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I liked when they were in the dream, and Ray was "what's going on?" Silver "well, IDK"

JUST

screms

mathtans

Hahahaha.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Silver might know and just trollin' as always

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Silver and Big sis also said they can't really talk directly with people, right?

so even if she knew, she really shouldn't tell 'im

she's just followin' da rulez.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

still was funny

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Oh, yeah. >:3

RebelVampire

silver is a rule follower which i can appreciate :"D

mathtans

Does anyone else think Mara can see angels? I think she can see angels.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I like that Silver is pulling off that image of funny angel who knows nothing, when actually she knows everything and when she gets serious WE ALL WILL DIE

screms

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Silver strikes me as someone who engages in malicious compliance >:3

DracoPlato

well she was going to tell Ray but someone stopped her

more than her just being a troll about it

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

@AkaLevi Did you say goddess???? :V

mathtans

Silver got serious with demons, wooo.

AngelicEmpyress

wants to draw as good as mharz ;-;

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

God: "Woah there Silver-daughteru, you can't just tell people, wtf, I told you not to"

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@mathtans -- I think Mara is sensitive at minimum, but maybe not able to fully see them

DracoPlato

the sleeve kind of looked like Big Sis's

of the person that stopped her

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I get the idea that she's aware of their presence 'nat

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

She WAS really going to spoil stuffs at Ray. I guess the universe just doesn't want to. (namely me)

mathtans

kabocha: Fair point there. Hmmmm.

RebelVampire

@mathtans @kabocha, baroness of sparkles Yeah i dont think mara can full see them. i think she just trusts her senses

DracoPlato

but i don't think silver would be stopped by Big Sis in that moment

so it made me wonder if it was one of the spoiler characters

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Plot twist, Mharz is the real god and somehow we'll see her in the comic :y

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

oh course mharz is there god, she made them

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

don't kill my jokes reee

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i wasn't trying to

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LOOOOOL

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Silver I summon you, save me

I wanna know more about Raphael too (husbando)

he looks interesting in design, but hasn't done much

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings so she believes in sweating out a fever lmao

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

yus

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

>Ironically works

RebelVampire

yeah raphael made me curious. especially cause he looked at them all like they was up to no good

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i'm sure raph is just a busy guy so he can't hang around often

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

He is super busy

XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Theory: Raphael is super serious dude who likes sweets

mathtans

Here's another off the wall theory: Big Sis actually IS Ray's big sister, that he didn't know he had. And she can't forgive herself for dying before meeting here, and she thinks he won't forgive her either. ^^

AngelicEmpyress

i like that theory lol

RebelVampire

lol omg

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

WHAT

screming

Respheal

O:

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I like it too

AkaLevi

my brain just exploded

RebelVampire

can only picture ray being like "HOW DARE YOU DIE EVEN THO YOU PROBABLY COULDNT CONTROL IT"

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

we're going very deep lmao

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I dunno, I was partially subscribing to the theory that Big Sis was somehow responsible for Ray's suffering >_> .............

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I have another theory

mathtans

Well, that's compatible with my theory. ^.^

I think outside the box. Most boxes.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

yay box!

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Big Sis is actually Ray's guardian, but because of something she did, she was made get away from him

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

she killed his parents.

has hit morbid hour

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

pretty much what I was thinking

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

what that turned dark

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

well, I mean

her wings are black for a reason

and what sort of grave sin has she committed~?

mathtans

OOooooh.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

okay I'm going to stop with the crazy mass guessing now

RebelVampire

might as well hit the second question early XD

AkaLevi

continue please

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

In theory, according to the story, a sin made by a guardian would be interfiering with the normal life of mortals, which they shouldn't, cause they must let people live whatever it's happening, all they can do is guide them, but if that doesn't work, rip

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. The most poignant mystery in the entire comic is the story behind the Angel’s black wings. Though the story has hinted she did something terrible/rule-breaking to earn them, little else has been revealed. Why do you think the Angel has black wings (or, in other words, what terrible crime has she committed)? How will this affect the future of the story?

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

saw the spoiler animaotin mharz did

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

o_o

I wanna see it

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

NO

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

A fallen angel has only one path

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I'VE ERASED IT FROM EXISTENCE

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

that is

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

:Y

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

hell

mathtans

The black wings are a fashion choice.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i can't say it cuase spoilers

DracoPlato

I think she stabbed someone with scissors(edited)

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

are we ready to go down right

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@Queen Brave Hikari of Memes but has she fallen yet?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Draco LOL

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

maybe she's ABOUT TO

DracoPlato

I'm really branching out there

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

theory time again

She needs another trigger and then BOOM, fallen Big Sis appears

mathtans

Maybe she's part demon? ^.^

That's why they want her back? ^.^

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

well mharz in all fairness from a number of related things you made it does hint that big sis did fuck up someones day with scissors(edited)

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

WELP.

mathtans

She ran with scissors. That's a no-no.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

And she gets a hair color change too, yeh?

DracoPlato

well we already know she broke the angel rules not to interfere with humans, and she stabbed some humans with scissors defending someone

based on what's been shown

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

oh my god

So, based on the theories here, let's come up with something

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

All of our theories says Big Sis f-cked up and she'll go more down in the deep

DracoPlato

probably the more angel rules you break the more you become a demon

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

tumbling down tumbling down

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Here's what we definitely know 1. Big Sis, based on evidence, was human at one point. 2. Ray's parents are gone. 3. Big Sis did something horrible.

RebelVampire

maybe she used scissors cause the thought that somehow itd be a loophole in the angel rules

DracoPlato

her powers were black too when she was going to protect ray

Respheal

I figure it's something she was pretty much forced into doing like...if I don't do this things will be much worse

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I imagine the angel's rules like the book from Fairy Oddparents DA RULEZ

rip

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

ergo: Big sis was ray's big sis. She kept watching him after she passed, and eventually killed their parents to protect him.

WITH SCISSORS.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Brave, somehow I was imagining that too.

XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Raphael is Jorgen(edited)

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

but smol(edited)

AkaLevi

but how Ray doesn´t remember her then?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

We can all be buffed Jojo's in our hearts

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Because he could have been an infant.

or very young

mathtans

Doing evil for the "greater good" kind of thing.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

most kids don't remember anything before 3years of age

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

road to hell as they say

AkaLevi

true

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

morbid crack theory: established.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Does Ray even have a good memory?

or maybe trauma could make him forget

RebelVampire

i wouldnt be surprised ray doesnt remember having a sister cause in all the time of being friends with mara it never came up she had a bro XD

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I am so reading the archive of this.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

another theory time lol

DracoPlato

if she killed his parents though that kind of goes against her personality though since she was most likely protecting someone

so they'd have to of been doing something cruel at the time

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@DracoPlato --- yeah, I think that's about the only reason she'd have done it. Serious abuse or something.

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

maybe too much booz

DracoPlato

angel went to too many bars

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Though, one thing to discredit this: don't angels appear at the same age as they died?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

rip

uhmm idk that

Respheal

There can be a significant age difference between siblings

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Based on Mara's brother anyway

That's true, Res

Big Sis strikes me as 30s tho

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Maybe Mara's case is a special one?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I personally have a 15 years gap with my sister

:V

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

HMMMMM

Mharz is not discrediting the theory.

HMMMMM!!!!

mathtans

Maybe one of Ray's parents was a demon! So Big Sis killed the demon, not knowing!

Respheal

HMMMM

lols(edited)

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Mharz will make us all think we're correct

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

and then we'll find out Big Sis is actually Ray's mom.

mathtans

If one of Ray's parents was a demon, it explains why he can see them.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

omfg

but wait

RebelVampire

i vote for ray being half demon O_O

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

in latest episodes, Mara hinted like she thanked to big Sis

RebelVampire

mostly cause i want that

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

what if she also is kinda like Ray

what if having an angel as a dead sibling gives you the ability to see them

oh no I killed the chat

oh there we go

DracoPlato

half demon ray, hell yeah

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

lololol

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I can't quite remember, but I think angels can kinda choose to share their aura with someone?

or something like that?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

DracoPlato

kabo did make me think he probably witnessed the angel stabbing people when he was a child

that's why her face was familiar

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Mmm. Maybe he remembers her protecting him as a youngin.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

He could had gotten a trauma

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

So, if Big Sis is not a family member of Ray's, then she definitely did something to his formerly living family to protect him.

RebelVampire

maybe the angel kidnapped ray from his parents and took him to her murder house

DracoPlato

LOL

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Mharz, I'm thinking there's a yandere Big Sis AU.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I'm honestly getting terrified with all your crazy theories. XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

LOL

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

OMG

mathtans

Because they're all true?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I-I.........

rip

xD

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

who knows?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

mathtans

Silver knows, but she's not telling.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Silver knows everything

AkaLevi

yandere big sis....interesting

RebelVampire

yeah i really wanna know who stopped silver from blabbing everything

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Theory: Silver is satan

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

few people know the truth

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I would be scared at yandere big sis

DracoPlato

you're secretly a wizard ray

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

MHARZ HAS SAID SOMEONE HIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I mean look at her gigantic scissors

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

someone did it?

who

AngelicEmpyress

ooooo

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

so many questions

AngelicEmpyress

suspense

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I'm deeply curious, but it's a seekrit

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I ain't telling LOL.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

the answers lie within the chat

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

THE ANSWER IS IN YOUR HEART

RebelVampire

a mystery

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS

RebelVampire

i guess everyone will have to comb the archive

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

My kokoro tells me we're all right

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

damn it yugi

mathtans

Mara was Silver the WHOLE TIME.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Silver is Mara's Alter Ego.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

HOW

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

you never see them in the same place!

DracoPlato

mara is the Angel's past

and Ray is the angel's husbandu

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Mara is the reincarnation of Big Sis's sis

DracoPlato

and she's gone to the past to save him

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Draco how is that possible?(edited)

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

lel

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ohh, that's a really good question -- do the angels have the ability to time travel

RebelVampire

maybe ray and the angel are the same person then. and when the moon goes up ray and mara become magical angel girls

DracoPlato

TIME TRAVEL

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

ARE THEY DISPLACED TEMPORALLY

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Draco this isn't Zenchav. :V

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

And this is how Silver knows Lyall.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Angels in Mharz's universe don't age right

rip

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

everything leads back to zenchav.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

they don't....

DracoPlato

i think it has been mentioned once in every chat

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

WHERE ARE THE KIDS

mathtans

The angels fly at 88mph.

RebelVampire

speaking of angels aging, did we learn what happens when angels die? besides disappearing i mean

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Now I want over +100 kids of Silver and Big Sis

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

OMG CALI LIVES!!!

RebelVampire

like

are they gone poof forever

DracoPlato

oh i did wonder that too

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

am i late

DracoPlato

what is the after life for an angel

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Do they have a chance to be reborn?

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

sup cali

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

CALI

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Brave that's seems not a good idea

nah yer good cali

RebelVampire

no youre late cali

to the stocks with you

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

rip

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

rip

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

for some reason I thought someone said "Super cali" and I was like, where's the rest of the dang line

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

cali was good soul...until she was late

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

people die when they killed

DracoPlato

omg i wasn't online

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Anyway, so yeah, what happens to angels after THEY die? Do they reincarnate? Do they disappear? Are they gone?

what happens to a destroyed soul

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

the acher class really is made of archers

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Angels can be reborn as humans?

mathtans

When angels die, they become clouds.

RebelVampire

do they become demons because they failed their angelic duty

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

gasp

DracoPlato

when an angel dies do they go to another story

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

omg

DracoPlato

story reincarnation

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

damn it draco

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

totaly makes sense

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I'd totally laugh if cali slept thru it after going thru the effort of rereading it. XD

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

rip

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

she still kinda made it

we're just on q5

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

pats cali

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

i missed the 30 first mins of it

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

hugs cali

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

lol

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Cali: we think Big sis killed ray's parents prolly

RebelVampire

assuming theyre dead. maybe theyre just abroad

having fun without ray

cause fuck ray

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LOOOL

mathtans

Also one of ray's parents was a demon.

DracoPlato

i thought his dad was still alive

RebelVampire

yes demon ray canon accepted

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

"Abroad" is code for dead.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray's Daddy is a demon

screms

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ray's dad is .... Rex?

DracoPlato

ray's father is damon

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

it was rex the whole time

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Oh no

Damon and Ray are related!!!

gasp

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

TAWB X Zenchav

THE CROSSOVER

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

why zenchav connect to eveything now

DracoPlato

ray you're damon's brother via rex

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Because it's a thing.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

because Zenchav is everything

we're all Damon's childs

DracoPlato

it gives us life

yus

RebelVampire

because time traveling space macaroon

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

i do feel like big sis might have something to do with his parents tho

:y

DracoPlato

loooool

silver is ray's mother and father

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip Ray

mathtans

Because time travel, Draco?

RebelVampire

idk tho. are his parents even relevant. cause i mean besides the fact they arent present, the fact they havent been mentioned makes me wonder if they matter

DracoPlato

always time travel

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Poor Ray.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

his mom was mentioned once

but ray dodged the question

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I feel like I remember his mom being dead.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

He lives alone tho

DracoPlato

i used to think the angel was his mom

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

same

:' D

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

but silver is mom

RebelVampire

maybe the angel is his grandma

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Silver is dad

DracoPlato

i did wonder if she was grandma in the reread

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

silver is all

RebelVampire

didnt get her grandson enough presents

AkaLevi

we are silver

RebelVampire

failed her grandma duty

DracoPlato

but i dunno, based on my spoiler timeline

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

draco keeps a spoiler timeline??

DracoPlato

in my head

AngelicEmpyress

lol

DracoPlato

always

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

LOLOLOL

AngelicEmpyress

draco keeps everything in head

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

No Fair, Draco, you know spoilers.

mathtans

Maybe Big Sis is the mom of that bully character. Maybe that's why the wings are black.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

wot

DracoPlato

her wings are black cause her son is a jack ass

wha

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

her wings are black because fashion

mathtans

And she's all "you can never forgive my son? harsh"

RebelVampire

lol thatd actually be kind of funny

if the angel was the mom of that bully

DracoPlato

bullies have feelings too ray

RebelVampire

who always beats ray up

takes his lunch money

mathtans

She probably always wanted to hit him with an apple.

DracoPlato

i would love that XD it'd be so out of the blue

mathtans

But was too nice.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray is actually the MC of a harem drama manga

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

gott throw all the apples

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

So, serious question. Is Ray using Big Sis as a surrogate for actual human friendships at this point? I worry about him a little!

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

N-Notice me, Ray senpai

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

brave he isn't already?

DracoPlato

the apple is the prelude to the angel's death note

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I do think Ray will have some humans friends at some point

mathtans

kabocha: Good point! I wonder if that's a bit of why he doesn't want to forgive Mara? He prefers angel relationships to human ones now.

AngelicEmpyress

lol draco

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

he can't be friends with "something" only he can see

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

becos humans suck???

:V

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

almost like an imaginary friend

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Angels are basically perfect and not likely to not harm him emotionally. ... He thinks.

oh god, whatever Big Sis did is going to hurt him isn't it.

DracoPlato

someone is human racist

mathtans

But he's met Silver. ^.^

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

it's going to like, really, really hurt whenever that's revealed.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I am human racist (?)

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

RebelVampire

i think ray is using big sis to project that he doesnt want to believe ppl are awful but if he admits that humans arent awful then maybe he has to take responsibility for himself and his own actions.

DracoPlato

nyu mharz

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

in all seriousness tho, I HOPE Ray recovers his friendship with Mara

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Cue Ray running into the arms of demons and having to be saved

DracoPlato

only angel friends are best friends

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

at least in a way

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

though it might be annoying for him that big sis keeps pushing mara's forgiveness on him lol

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

who doesn't want to be bestfriend with a pretty angel?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

maybe not completely friends, but maybe being in peace with eachother

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

he is quite annoyed about that.

DracoPlato

i dunno, i might just think i'd lost my mind too

gasp is ray just crazy

mathtans

She should probably stop pushing so hard.

It's not working.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

It's more likely Big Sis was talking to herself about forgiveness

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

he even asked why she's so adamant about it.(edited)

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear -- I sincerely feel like Big Sis is probably aware he's gonna need human friends.

RebelVampire

haha i really loved that scene if only cause i was like "ray are you that dense bro?"

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Because when he figures out whatever she did.... NOPE BAD THINGS DRAMA ANGST RAY

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Plot twist: his future friends will be the bullies

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LMAO

AkaLevi

lol

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

this is all in Big Sis plans

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

drama angst. XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

MORE DRAMA

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

ALL THE DRAMA

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

EMOTIONAL PAIIIIIIIIIN

DracoPlato

okay so, i think if the angel said nothing about forgiveness and was just generally kind to him rather than nagging him and showed him what a good person she was and how much she cared that'd actually be more effective for her point about forgiveness

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

how could this happen to meeeeee

DracoPlato

cause in story she seems like just a pushy nag about it

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

HURT PEOPLE WITH EMOTIONS

DracoPlato

and i feel like that just makes it worse in wanting ray to rebel emotionally

mathtans

I made my mistaaaakes, got nowhere to ruuuuun....

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@DracoPlato -- I do have similar feelings about it. I feel like she's got another motive.

DracoPlato

yeah

RebelVampire

yeah tbh i think the angel is kind of a bad role model for ray cause shes not that emotionally stable it seems like it XD

DracoPlato

i feel like the angel is really selfish

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think even so, Ray will want to know why, considering his personality, he's going to also be pushy about Sis past

DracoPlato

and she's not speaking for ray's benefit but her own, and in that way i don't feel like she's a nice person

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

freaks out a lot

XD

mathtans

I don't see her as selfish, she doesn't seem to think much about herself.

DracoPlato

but i also don't think ray is that nice of a person either

mathtans

Ray's stubborn.

DracoPlato

cause he's also very self centered

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I considered Big Sis talking more to herself than to Ray, which is why her "advices" doesn't really work(edited)

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

now that you think about it none of these characters are nice...

mathtans

Brave: I can see that.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I'm a great creator!(edited)

DracoPlato

yeah they're all kind of awful people, lol XD

RebelVampire

haha ray tbh has a victim complex to me

DracoPlato

or at least have a lot of emotional growing up to do

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

LOL

DracoPlato

yeah i agree with rebel big time on that

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Same

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ray needs to be smacked upside the head.

Get Silver to do it.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray puts a huge wall on him about "I WON'T FORGIVE ANY OF YOU FUCKS, LEAVE ME ALONE"

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

he's only 15... he'll learn... probably...

RebelVampire

probably

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray needs a slap from mommy

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LOOL

mathtans

Perfect people are boooooooring.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

SIlver Mommy

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Ray has a strong belief that people are fairly awful. This becomes more evident as Mara, an old friend who betrayed him, now seeks his forgiveness. Of course, in his stubbornness, Ray refuses to forgive her. Do you think that Ray will eventually forgive Mara? Do you think she deserves his forgiveness? What do you think will happen in Mara’s future as far as the plot is concerned, whether she earns forgiveness or not?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

UHMMMMM

Okay I gotta type this

gimme a bit

DracoPlato

Oh yeah i think he'll forgive her for sure

forgiveness is the overall theme of the story it feels like atm too so if he didn't the theme would fall really flat, lol

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

imagines ray finally forgiving once they're both super old

mathtans

I think she deserves his forgiveness, based on what we've seen. I think she might give up on life now that her brother isn't able to talk to her any more. I don't think he'll forgive her until it's nearly too late.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LMAO

only forgave on his deathbed

rip

DracoPlato

that'd be awesome XD

RebelVampire

my mind went to dark places. wondered what would happen if mara died before ray could forgive her and thats what makes him realize well shit, not forgiving ppl sucks

DracoPlato

I forgive you now, can i be an angel too?

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

omg

DracoPlato

it's okay

RebelVampire

i think ray should forgive her tho because at the end theyre stupid teens

stupid teens fuck up

DracoPlato

he can forgive her ghost

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Ray is drowned by the guilt? LOL

mathtans

Rebel, that's where I'm kinda going too.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think Mara is going to be forgiven, at some point, considering they're childhood friends, Ray's development could lead to him actually doing it because of the good times. But ALSO, I think Mara will try to do stuff so Ray will see she has changed for good. Like Ray has hinted: he won't forgive cause they don't even try to repair what they ahve done. So I think we'll have some sort of Mara's redemption on ehr own, maybe with small things

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

wooh, zoned out ofr a minute.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

breathes in

mathtans

Draco: Do ghosts exist in this world? Or only angels?

DracoPlato

oh that's a good question

only Mharz knows

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

there are spirits

mathtans

Like bourbon, vodka...

DracoPlato

LOL

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

-Ray is pretty immature at times. I feel like he needs to get over his issues with people being awful -- tbh all we've seen is his issues with classmates being horrible, but not much interaction with adults? So I guess he's mid angst. Still going with the "my parents are DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD" theory. I do think Ray will forgive her. It might be far off. He's very stuck in his own self-wallowing.

RebelVampire

idk if mara should work that hard for redemption. tbh i think its ray who needs to work hard because at this point hes just being stubborn

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

would be a cruel twist if ray someday was ready to forgive her when she suddenly dies somehow

RebelVampire

no no there was that one interaction with the old lady who brought him food

DracoPlato

In ray's interactions with adults he's always lying

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

CALI NO

DracoPlato

saying everything is okay

RebelVampire

and then he was like "BLEH SHE DOESNT CARE"

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

DIS PEAR

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

cali stop

DracoPlato

yeah wtf ray she just gave you food

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

keep your pears in your comic

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

chapter 4 :3

AkaLevi

nice Cali xD

DracoPlato

This nice old lady gave me food but fuq her, she doesn't care about me

RebelVampire

angels are ghosts confirmed

mathtans

Good callback.

DracoPlato

i see why people beat you up ray

RebelVampire

yeah i really disliked ray with the old lady

like wtf bro

she was checking up on you

and you like i hate you

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

:V

DracoPlato

so i guess "mere soul" is ghost

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

yus

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

"ooo lady gives me food and i live alone now i don't have to cook/buy food" "PEOPLE SUCK SHE DIDN'T CARE SHES A BECH"

RebelVampire

what happens to the mere soul tho if it doesnt become an angel

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ray is a teenage boy...

RebelVampire

is it a ghost 5ever?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Ray in a nutshell

DracoPlato

yeah how does this ghost thing work long term

are just just a ghost forever

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray being Ray

mathtans

Until your ghost wings fall off. ^.^

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

mara's ghost forever haunting ray

DracoPlato

not my ghost wings

RebelVampire

the ghosts of rays parents are there the whole time and only the angel can see them

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

works the same they stay in heaven or hell if they good or bad

once the time comes

XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

rip

DracoPlato

so when an angel dies they just go to heaven?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Cali wants Mara dead

I can see it in her eyes

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

nu

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Oh god, Mara's gonna die

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

MORE DRAMA

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip Mara

DracoPlato

why is it different for ghosts dying tho

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

OMG

DracoPlato

than angels dying

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

WITH EXPLOSIONS

DracoPlato

if they're both vehicle less at that point

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

So then canon Mara dies so we see how her spirit goes out and works

DracoPlato

so really both are just a soul

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

that's the thing

mathtans

But it's only temporarily dead. She's too cute to die for reals!

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

souls can dissapate as well... since they have no bodies anymore.

DracoPlato

so why do some souls go to heaven and some just go away forever

RebelVampire

so are we saying if they dissapate they just cease to exist?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

:V

DracoPlato

that doesn't make much sense XD

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

"No comment"

AkaLevi

reincarnation is not a thing then?

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

that's what I'm taking :V as

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LOOL

DracoPlato

if there's a hell too then why would souls ever just disappear forever

if there's places that others go

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

so they die if they're killed, forever

DracoPlato

omg brave

it's a true statement now

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

people die when they're killed

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

angels die if they are killed

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I SAW IT, I SEE THE FUTURE, YOU DOUBTED ABOUT ME

RebelVampire

the angels go to the super afterlife

DracoPlato

but not you random soul, you get to go to heaven, yay

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

quick, someone draw ray doing the shirou face

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

angels go to angel valhalla

DracoPlato

unlike you other random soul who sucks and gets to never exist again

mathtans

Angels dye when they're bored. Hence black wings.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

LOL

RebelVampire

LOL

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

that's what actually happened. Big Sis dyed her wings black becos it's fashionable

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

she wanted to be known as the emo angel

RebelVampire

and everyone just pretends she did something bad

mathtans

Trendsetter.

RebelVampire

so she can seem edgy

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

well she did a pretty good job

:V

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

edgyy

I want Silver with black wings now

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

edgy silver

RebelVampire

now picturing the angel and silver as 90s street punks

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

yis

RebelVampire

silver with a pompadour

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

LOL

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

oh that doesn't suit her

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

omg

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I imagined them like KISS

Help

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

AkaLevi

god xD

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

i wanna see both of those

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I'm not in my tablet rn

XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Mhaaaaaarz drawwwww

DRAW ON THE FLOOR

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

wat

RebelVampire

draw with your life blood

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

^I ws about to type the blood

edgy

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

draw with mara's blood

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

oh god

Cali

DracoPlato

loooool

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Cali wants to see everyone dying

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

We're going to see a page in psycheteria show up with Mara dead.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

that'll be her cameo

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I imagine Silver being a Dezar with a face paint

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

her dead

LOL

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I would pay for that

RebelVampire

mara was sen's dead sister all alone

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

dun dun dun

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

OMG

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Mara's Angel was Sen in disguise

then got sent to Fenaur

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

We'll go to Fenaur now

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

thats the true afterlife

of dead angels

get reborn to fenaur

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Cali will make it canon and possible

I believe in her

RebelVampire

anyway

i wonder if mara knows her bro is gone. or does she just think he went on angel vacation

DracoPlato

oh i wondered that too

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

that'd be awkward if ray had to bring it up in some way

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I think she has an inkling

DracoPlato

i'm sorry mara, your brother died.....again

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

What if she saw him in a dream before he finally vanished, so because of that Mara changed?

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

"hey uh mara your brother was an angel and i think he angel died sorry about that"

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Like, she's changing because of her bro

mathtans

Brave: I can see that.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

i wonder if he warned her in dream that he won't be there for her much longer

in that sense

mathtans

"You need to make some human friends again"

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I read that as "that she won't be there for much longer"

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

It would be possible, with his last's energy

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

and I was like, damn, Cali, you really wanna see Mara ded.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

"you need REAL friends"

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

"real friends aka ray because forgiveness hunting is a fun thing we like to watch"

AkaLevi

who doesn´t wanna see Mara dead?

RebelVampire

i wonder why mara's bro didnt point out her girl friends were bitches

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Maybe he couldn't really interfiere?

mathtans

I don't wanna see Mara dead! She's been through enough already. And I like her hairstyle.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

liek because it was her decision and shit

RebelVampire

i dont wanna see mara dead even tho i think itd be a dark twist

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

liek because it was her decision and shit

RebelVampire

i dont wanna see mara dead even tho i think itd be a dark twist

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

uhhh I don't... that would be bad

edgy Silver and Dezar

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Mara is plot relevant and therefore cannot die.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

omfg

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

PLOT ARMOR.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

so then her part time job...

mathtans

kabocha: Plot includes angels. I think death is fair game.

DracoPlato

true

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

actually don't wanna see mara dead either, i like her a little more than Ray :y

RebelVampire

i would like to see more of the demons in the story

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I like Ray in certain moments in the comic

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

" a little more"

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

MORE DEMONS

RebelVampire

meet the demon who got ostracized for being not evil enough

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

aka, when he's not agnsty

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

demon beefcake.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

oh true, more demons

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

i read that as damon beefcake

RebelVampire

cause iirc they wanted to bring in the angel

DracoPlato

ray has non angsty moments? XD

RebelVampire

cause they were like yaay evil angel

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

OMG

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

like their real goal with the attack

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

beefcake babies

DracoPlato

LOL

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

DAMON!

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

rip

DracoPlato

that damn demon damon

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

oh that reminds me

while i was rereading

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

It's official, for now on, I'll put Zenchav as the top of the line of how our universe works, like Zenchav in the god place

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

one of the demons kinda had ray-hair for one of the panels

and made me like

"OMG WHAT IF RAY'S DAD WAS A DEMON OR SOMETHING"

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Daddy demon might be a thing

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

oh god, demon blood theory is back. This could be a thing.

RebelVampire

we already headcanoned ray as a half demon while you werent here

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

gdi

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

daddy

RebelVampire

ray's father satan confirmed

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip cali

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray's father actually rex

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

those 30 minutes were good as theories

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

you have a brother now damon

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

we stated that too

DracoPlato

looool

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Damon is the father of all of us

no exceptions

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

this is what i get for sleeping late rip

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

rip

DracoPlato

well i can explain the whole universe if needed, but at another time, lol

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I read that as I can explain how the universe ended

AngelicEmpyress

i want to be there when you do drace ^_^

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

llooool

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

AngelicEmpyress

draco >.>

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

But from death everything comes to life again

or some shit like that

DracoPlato

i got the deepest rabbit hole

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

like ray's ability to forgive

maybe

DracoPlato

ray will forgive

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray's ability to forgive is deeper than the abysm

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

forgiveness has power

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

So, building on the theory so far: Ray's father is a demon. Ray is half demon. Big sis was his mom or sister. She killed someone. Probably Ray's father. >:3 Ray is due for a heroic bsod and mara will halp

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Ray just forgive the girl

LOL

DracoPlato

i believe ray is a good boy deep down, he's just young

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

very deep down tho

RebelVampire

what interested me more in that panel

like

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

young and angsty

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

imagine the song kiss the girl but replace kiss with forgive

RebelVampire

is silver someone else

DracoPlato

oh yeah

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I totally think SIlver is someone VERY important

what if she's an archangel

DracoPlato

that foreshadowing there i didn't pick up until the re read

AngelicEmpyress

thats what i was thinking!

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

so she's allowed to do whatever she wants

RebelVampire

ah thatd be cool if silver didnt have to follow the rules but is so mature she does because she naturally sees their place and purpose

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

or maybe she's infamous for trolling a lot.

mathtans

Silver is the one who gave Big Sis the black wings, as an example to all the other angels. But now she feels bad.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

gdi

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

silver why

DracoPlato

silver thought the black wings would look nice with big sis' hair

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

S-Silver is not bad, uguuuu

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Silver dumped her ink on big sis on accident

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

LOL

AkaLevi

xD

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

that is a huge amount of ink

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

silver is a comic artist. Works with the best inks and paper. But still can't stop spillin' it

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

she ransacked an ink making company just to pull off the ink dump prank

accidentally stained her wings

"woops sorry"

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

that is something she might do

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

it's canon

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

it's probably good angels don;'t eat if their wings stain easily

imagine having to walk around with fried chicken and/or pizza stains on your wings

mathtans

I read that as "probably good angels don't eat their wings"...

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

the wings are actually chicken wings and can be fried

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

So this is all about Ray funding KFC

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ray becomes the Colonel.

mathtans

K stands for Kara.

RebelVampire

i like the idea that silver gave the angel the black wings

and feels guilty now

mathtans

Sometimes I have zany theories that make sense!

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

XD

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Hrrrm.

DracoPlato

my thing is why didn't big sis become a demon

if she did something bad

how many chances are you given and is she getting sepcial treatment

and maybe she'd be happier as a demon

mathtans

She wouldn't become one, they only form from bad human emotions, right?

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

She was good before, and maybe her motives for the bad thing were ultimately good.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

That's kinda what I was saying, like, maybe big Sis is about to turn into a fallen one

we need another trigger

aka RAY

RebelVampire

i dont think shed be happier as a demon since the demons are supposed to guide ppl down the sinful path

DracoPlato

lucifer became a demon tho if it follows christianity and they were an angel

RebelVampire

i think shes a bad angel and a bad demon

would make good human

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

^

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. In the story, Ray is revealed as special for his ability to be able to see the angels. When he asks the Angel about this and other rules they’re breaking, the Angel simply states she and Ray are exceptions. Why do you think Ray can see angels and what does it have to do with the larger story? Do he and the Angel have past history (and, if so, what)? Is his ability related to this theoretical back history, or is something bigger going on?

mathtans

Maybe Big Sis could only make it part of the way to being an angel. The black wings were a gift.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

YES

they have history. She's gotta be family

or have transgressed against him

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think Ray and Big Sis are connected in some way, idk if family thing directly, but totally connected and because of that Ray can see them

DracoPlato

hmmm

mathtans

Ray can see angels because one of his parents was a demon. Angel killed the demon. ^.^

DracoPlato

oh i like that theory math

RebelVampire

tbh for me right now i think ray's abilities are independent of the angel. if only because i cant fathom what the angel wouldve done that wouldve gone "woooga wooga now you see da angels"

DracoPlato

i actually would prefer if they were separate

just because it's less predictable

mathtans

Maybe Ray just lives in a perpetual state of being half asleep.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

That sounds good too

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Maybe it's all a dream.

And Ray is in a coma.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

but Idk, if it wasmentioned before, don't mind me, but since when Ray can see angels?

mathtans

Since the start of the story? Hmmmm.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

in timeline

DracoPlato

maybe since he was a kid, it didn't seem like it was new

RebelVampire

thats a good point

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

since he was a little?

RebelVampire

i dont think it was stated

mathtans

Yeah, no, was trying to think about that.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

when puberty kicked in?

RebelVampire

but yeah i agree it didnt seem like it was new

so its at least been for a while

mathtans

Damn those puberty angels.

RebelVampire

i wonder how long he stalked the angel before talking to her

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Puberty really mess up yer body sometimes :y

now you see angels everywhere

I believe Big Sis was the one stalking to Ray, in a way

RebelVampire

maybe ray is dying soon and thats why he and the angel dont have to follow the rules when together. maybe the angel is the grim reaper now

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

oh no

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

DracoPlato

i did wonder why she was always around for him to see, since she can fly anywhere

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

people die if they're killed

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

that's why her wings are black.

mathtans

Ray DOES seem to be key though, I remember there was a scene where Big Sis was saying his actions would ripple out to everyone he knew.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

She's an angel of death.

DracoPlato

shinigami angel

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

becos Ray is playing Life is Strange

XD

RebelVampire

maybe the angel is going to angel die and ray has to take her place as grim reaper

mathtans

What? Where are the lesbians? ^.^

RebelVampire

ray doesnt have cool time reversing power tho O_O

DracoPlato

not yet anyway

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

not yet

in Zenchav universe, everything is possible

DracoPlato

this is true

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

wait, we have the yuri

Big Sis x Silver

DracoPlato

yus

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

this is totally life is strange

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LOOOOOOL

mathtans

Oh, yay!

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

we're just missing the time travel powers

just one step my friendo

RebelVampire

but yeah i wondered why the angel was just always in his vicinity. like was just waiting. playing hard to get

being like "why hasnt he talked to me yet "(edited)

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

psh who needs that? I say play as it lies

XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Big Sis was always waiting to Ray maybe

not like she knew it was Ray

but to that someone who would save her

DracoPlato

big sis why you stalking young boys

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Big Sis and Silver is just a crack ship

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I got deep again

rip

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

becos I'm full of crack

XD

mathtans

She may not have known he could see. Myabe he was just sensitive, like Mara.

DracoPlato

i think she lived in the area

and wasn't stalking ray but her old life

RebelVampire

oh thats true

but idk

i mean she knows ray

DracoPlato

he said her face was familiar too

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

tehy were building in that place where Big Sis was stading

what if they demolished her old house

mathtans

She was haunting them.

RebelVampire

rip house

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray reincarnation?

mathtans

ray-incarnation?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LOOL

DracoPlato

loooooool

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

LOLOLOL

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

knows her in a previous life when she was alive

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Big Sis was actually big Sis of Ray in their past life

but Ray died

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@mathtans oh god that was bad.

RebelVampire

hmm this makes me wonder, since the angel isnt guarding anyone because i assume its punishment, wtf is she supposed to be doing anyway. like...are they just saying "ok take a vacation and maybe youll learn your lesson about sinning. probably."

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Big Sis stayed alone

mathtans

@kabocha, baroness of sparkles Thank you. ^.^

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Admittedly, I wonder if Big Sis might have failed in guarding someone.

DracoPlato

your angel duty is to not cause trouble

i wondered that too though rebel XD

like wtf is your job then

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Maybe she's just with ray because lonely

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Maybe she was going to executed

and she cant come back to heaven

Silver is protecting her

it's their secret(edited)

mathtans

She was going to be executed because love with Silver was forbidden. Romance!

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

drama turned into romance

XD

RebelVampire

i doubt she was going to be executed just cause silver implied the angel could return if the angel got her act together and stopped fucking around

mathtans

I like romance. ^.^

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

maybe the people she was the guardian angel of freaked out cus wtf angel lady and went insane

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I didn't mention romance, but that's a good upgrade

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

So, dumbest question I think: ...Does Ray have sunglasses? If so, are they Ray-ban?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Kabocha no

XD

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ahahahaha

RebelVampire

this convo has devolved into bad puns

rip

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

save us rebel

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Quick, @RebelVampire save us~

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

rip

mathtans

If they were Ray-banned, he couldn't wear them.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

save us from the pun demons

RebelVampire

uh O_O so lets talk about rapheal more and how pretty

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray is big Sis ray of light rip me I tried

AkaLevi

puns!!

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I like those thingies that looks like headphones on Raphael

mathtans

Oh! We haven't talked about Silver's kickass weapon yet. It's kickass.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray is hikari

DracoPlato

that is a kick ass weapon

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

:3

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray of Light shipping

DracoPlato

silver is kick ass, shes' my fave

RebelVampire

i like how she summoned the weapon

DracoPlato

yeah me too

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

it is her weapon is super badass

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

The flowers were cool

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

i like her flowers

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Cali

RebelVampire

really i think silver is probably the best character

DracoPlato

she's definitely the least angsty at least XD

RebelVampire

is the only one who wont snap and become a serial killer

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

She's the only one who actually smiles

mathtans

I feel like Silver is tortured offscreen. She just puts up a front when around everyone.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

cool as a cucumber

DracoPlato

she smiles for now

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I wanna see Silver crying

DracoPlato

noooooo

RebelVampire

crack theory: ray is a serial killer and only the angel who is filled with sin is unpure enough to try and fix him. thus why ray's parents arent around. he killed them and their bodies are in the fridge.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

it got dark for silver real quick

omg

mathtans

Rebel: O.o

DracoPlato

LOL

geezus

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

that is so dark

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray's parents did a bad so... he wouldn't forgive them

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

omg

}

DracoPlato

i think ray would have killed the bullies by now then

RebelVampire

no no. hes waiting. hell be a suspect if he kills them

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

He could have killed Mara in School Day's style

RebelVampire

cause everyone knows of the abuse

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

They haven't gotten him to crack yet.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

KANASHIMI NO MUKOU HE TO

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

^OMFG YES

DracoPlato

maybe he gets high off the abuse

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

SOMEONE KNEW THE REFERENCE

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

i knew the reference

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

yisss

mathtans

School Days nuuuuuuuuuuu.

RebelVampire

lol thats a sad thought

ray is really just a masochist

mathtans

Dont' put the characters on a boat.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

so, who's the other person in the love triangle?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

uhhh

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

uh

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Is Ray Sekai or Kotonoha

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

silver

/shot

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

the bullies

RebelVampire

the bullies

mathtans

The bullies should be their own love triangle! There's three of them, right?

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I still vote bullies will be Ray's friends at some point

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray as kotonoha would be frightening

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

They're the other classmates who...

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

the bakarda

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

you know, this is perhaps a little too adult.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

the baraka

the..

the bully girls

mathtans

I ship the bullies.

RebelVampire

idk the bullies seem kind of one note. i wouldnt be very invested if they were ray's friends

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

bullies x fembullies

RebelVampire

albeit

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

best ship

RebelVampire

i guess ray so bitchy beggars cant be choosers

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

imagine that one boy bully calling ray master

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

"Aniki"

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray kills their leader and assimilates

"s-senpai notice me ;A;"

RebelVampire

no cali mharz is all about the yuri not the yaoi

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

so far Ray is a demon and serial killer

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

disappoint

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

rip

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

but how will zage get more yaois for his stash

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Cali we have our gay ships anyway

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

So, everyone in this story is a murderer of some sort except Silver.

mathtans

Nuuuu, Ray's nice. He's just stubborn.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

and Mara.

RebelVampire

there's ten mins left so are there any serious last thoughts anybody would like to share?

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Mara's the victim.

Silver is the big hero who tries to save her.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think this story is pretty good so far

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

:' D

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Yeah, crack theories aside, I do enjoy TAWBW a fair bit

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

yus

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think it advances at its own peace

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I binged it one weekend

glad it moved off tap tho, the scrolling kills my wrist so much

mathtans

Kudos on some of those asides. Like, some are coloured and everything. I was impressed.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

so calling it slow or not, is not my thing

I liked it from chapter 1

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

shucks you are all so nice

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

even though i wanna slap ray around

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

:' D

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray is bad sometimes

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

but i can see from both their PoVs

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ray is such a teenager.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

but other times he can be good, at least with big Sis

RebelVampire

i like the flow of the story and the art. i do kind of wish the characters developed more quickly. like i really wanna like ray but his chara evolution is going so slow. can only take so much whining :"D

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I'm sure Ray is gonna develop and be nice with someone else than Angels

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

LOL webcomic pacing

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray should get a pet

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ray needs a cat.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

And hedgehog cause spikes

OMG

mathtans

Ray started from a good place though. Like, you feel for his place at the start before you start to wonder why he seems to have issues.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I do wish I can upload more but I don't wanna blow off my buffer

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

NUUUU don't kill your buffer

mathtans

You have a buffer?? Kudos.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

your year long buffer?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

I won't

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

lmao

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

it's slowly diminishing

XD

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Overall, I find these characters pretty good too

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

11 months and 3 weeks

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Idk about other like Raphae cause he hasnt appeared much

RebelVampire

i was sympathetic for ray at first but theres a point where im just like "ok ray now youre just perpetuating your misery."

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

can0t say anything about husbando ; ;

DracoPlato

yeah i agree with rebel

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

husbando will appear again someday

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray needs some slaps

maybe metaphorical slaps

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Silver should slap him

mathtans

Yeah, Ray seems real stubborn.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

troll slap

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Maybe ray will get a love interest.

mathtans

Ray's love interest... the creator?

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

but he's too angsty to notiiiiice

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I don't think there might be much romance in this comic tbh XD

RebelVampire

haha debatably isnt the angel his love interest tho? like, im skeptical he thinks of her as a sister XD

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

i'd say beat the lame outta ray, but thats one thing that makes him so angsty

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Cause its not the focus

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

the world may never knkow

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

at least that's what Mharz made us see

I-I could be wrong and tomorrow we'll see Ray with a girlfriend

rip

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

Volume 3 will be fun.... probably...

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

married and with kids

mathtans

His girlfriend is that nice old lady in the cafe, Brave?

RebelVampire

and then his girlfriend disappears mysteriously as the angel hides the bloody scissors

DracoPlato

teen dad ray

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

OMFG

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

rip

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

draco no

XD

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

the angel is secretly yandere

shes the kotonoha

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I wanna know who's that old lady from lastest update

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

oh man

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

what's she up to and why talk randomly (maybe it's not random) to Ray

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I felt so bad for Kotonoha, so now I feel bad for Big Sis.

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think this comic will get very serious with tons of shit happening very soon

like bye bye slice of life

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

@Queen Brave Hikari of Memes -- agreeeeed

RebelVampire

some ppl in life do just randomly speak to others

mathtans

It's already pretty serious, with demons.

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I feel like somethin's about to really go down

more demons, more danger

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

it's always serious

:V

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Still suspicious hurrr

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

more ray doing something stupid

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

I feel like ray's about to get upset at big sis in a bad way

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Drink game: take a shot whenever Ray does something stupid

ded

RebelVampire

idk tho. i mean ray forgived her really fast for abandoning him

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

ray is always doing stupid

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

my liver can't handle that

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

"omg theres danger at the mall? LETS CHECK IT OUT "

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

that would be like every page

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

omg

Maybe Ray is being kind of hypocrite?

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

count how much Ray fucks up in the story

RebelVampire

for your health and safety, as serverlord i ban this drinking game

mathtans

I like the subtle nice things in there too though, like when he's giving coins to those homeless people.

RebelVampire

no dying

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

meep

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

ray becomes the next angel with black wings due to how much fuck ups he do

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Thank you Rebel.

Livers are expensive.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

should have a fuck up counter

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

you may ban it here but people can still play at home

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

LOLOLOL

RebelVampire

yeah i appreciated that subtle ray giving money to someone

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

That's what bothers me

DracoPlato

oh yeah i liked that

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

Ray can be super nice smetimes

and in others

RebelVampire

no my powers extend everywhere delta

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

he just "RAY STOP, AHHHHH"

DracoPlato

i think ray is accurate to someone his age tho

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I lose my shit

SirDelta God King of Mecha, Time

lies

RebelVampire

yeah ray does reek teen

so appropriate

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

Ray needs a therapist.

Queen Mharz of Buffers and Wings

very teen

kabocha, baroness of sparkles

But yes, he is very much a 15-year-old boy.

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

so teen he manisfests teen

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

teen act like that in a way i think

mathtans

Next arc, Big Sis gets her psychologist degree...

Queen Brave Hikari of Memes

I think I used to be like Ray in some sort

Maybe that's why I can't hate him

OH NO, I RELATE TO RAY

Deity Cali of Speed and Dis Pear

crack theory: ray and big sis are the same soul and big sis was his past life

RebelVampire

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party is now complete~! Thank you everyone so much for joining this week’s chat~! That being said, if you would like to continue discussing the comic, we encourage you to do so~! We want to give a big thank you to Mharz, as well, for volunteering The Angel with Black Wings for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Mharz’s efforts. If you have questions, concerns, or suggestions about CTP, please feel free to PM me, or e-mail me at rebelvampire@startfaire.com.

With that said, next week’s Comic Tea Party will focus on Chaotic Nation by Zyephen. Please use this week to read as much of the comic as you would like. Also, please note that this comic is more mature than previous comics. If this is something you may be sensitive to, it is advisable to bypass this week’s CTP. Hope to see you next Thursday (June 29th) from 5PM to 7PM PST~! Until then~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/Chaotic-Nation

[mcrmadness]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I think I got too much sun today. I mean, it’s spring here finally. (Altough on Saturday it was still snowing, welcome to Finland..........) There’s sunny days. I was out the whole day (at the harness racing... well, races as I’m studying horse training n stuff) and it was very sunny day and even tho too much sun causes me to have a headache, apparently it and the whole experience made me also feel very energetic. I’m really tired tho but I’m listening to music and feeling this... feel that I usually love to call “happiness”, music has always had this effect on me. Especially around spring. Around that time I really love life and living.

ALSO I start feeling like I need company. Right now, for some reason, I’m again starting to mentally hype Gotham in my head even tho I still haven’t been able to watch the 3rd Season and when was it when I finished with 2nd season? Few months ago when it was added to Netflix...

SOOOO I don’t even know what I’m trying to achieve with this or if I’m trying to achieve anything at all, I just feel like talking and idk. I think this is going to be about mental stuff once again as I am pretty much obsessed with mental health stuff and I myself am a one big (except I’m short wait what) walking mental health issue. Anyway, I’ve been a huge Batman fan since I was 8 years old and back then I couldn’t really explain it but later I realized I’m still a fan because of how psychological everything is in that world. Also majority of them are not what they are just by accident but because of how everything affects everything. I love the Arkham video game series for this too, you can see this psychological aspect in there so well.

It seems I look up to characters that are more or less mentally ill (this is not from DC but Marvel Universe, but Deadpool is my ultimate favorite but still kinda sharing the first place with Batman, and Joker too) because I’ve admitted to myself and some of my things are just not curable but that’s just plain okay. If I can learn to live with them, then they should not be a problem to anyone else either. I just hope I could say aloud that I have anxiety attacks, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, derealizaton, depersonalization, body-image problems (basially I don’t feel the way I look and it’s causing me to love escapism), constant worry of certain things and overthinking and what else and no one would not judge me for it. Atm it feels like it’d be the worst ever if everyone knew because all I can imagine in my head is this huge scenario where people turn against me because they wouldn’t know how to deal with me anymore as if the disorder appeared out of nowhere, even tho it has always been there but they just did not know about it. (Basically I think this could be compared to those who are “in the closet” for their sexuality/anything; even tho I’m not. I’m ace+aro and proud but I just don’t say it aloud ever, people will figure it out if they need to know.)

Being mentally ill is just a huge taboo and seen as a bad thing in this world. Like, don’t get me wrong, there’s some illnessess that I wouldn’t wish to anyone, but it’s not for others to decide whether it’s a problem or not. Mental “illness” can also be what makes you, you. Part of our personalities.

So this is why I love characters that are weird or could be mentally ill. This is why I’m very much obsessed with Deadpool. I just can relate to them way too much. And I constantly need to read or hear about toher people’s symptoms and feelings because, idk, it makes me feel better. I’m not alone with myself. I don’t care if it’s a fictional character or a real person, I just need to relate to something. It’s actually one of my ways to “compulse” my anxiety - I go and read about things. If I’m having a weird anxiety attack out of blue, I go and read about generalized anxiety disorder. It’s like I try to explain every feeling of mine by psychiatry. I don’t think it’s even that healthy lol, but that’s what I seem to do every time... I costantly self-diagnoze myself, I want to know more and more and more, I want to hear what doctors would say about me. I just want to _KNOW and nothing is enough, I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing this. Even if I was diagnozed one day, I guess I’d still come up with new diagnoses.

I think this^ is because I was bullied at school and I also always had this desire to be different. Actually not even desire but obsession. People say that we shouldn’t be proud about our anxiety or something but to be honest, I actually am proud. Like here in the internet, I’m really excited to talk about this and to describe myself. I feel like it’s the only thing I’ve succeeded at even tho some would see it as a failure. Okay I sometimes feel like that too, there has been times when I’ve been feeling so down and I’ve just tried to imagine how life would be if I was not mentally ill. Sometimes I’ve actually imagined it and let’s just say life would not be worth living, everything would be so empty and dull, like living without brains. Yes, there’s days when I don’t want my anxiety, but the days between the anxiety are great. Maybe I need that anxiety so I remember to enjoy those days when I don’t have anxiety. I need anxiety to stay healthy, I probably wouldn’t sleep nor eat like ever if I didn’t have my anxiety. I get anxiety about food if I haven’t eaten well enough, there was a time when I ate very very poorly and never again, it was horrible. I would probably be dehydrated if I didn’t have my anxiety. I just can’t imagine living in this world without my anxiety and hundreds of other quirks because then I’d turn into this zombie who I see way too often in life. I can’t imagine how some people are just happy with all this life cycle of going to school and studying and getting a job and having a job until they retire and are already too old to phsyically to anything at all. I want to live while I still can. Yet I feel like I’m trapped because of how the society nowadays is how it is, money is everything and you get no money without a job but when you are not really able to work like that, only way to get money is to get lucky and win a jackpot. Which is not gonna happen as I don’t do lottery...

I think I lost the point a while ago. I felt like talking to someone but not anyone special. Probably feeling like talking to my best friend who doesn’t even exist. Last time I had a best friend was when I was 13, then I always had my cousin but it feel weird that she now has a kid, it felt like she was not my _best friend ever since she started dating boys and later found her partner who she has the kid with too. I think ever since I’ve been in search for that best friend but it’s most likely never gonna happen because I strongly believe that this person does not exist at all. Like you just can’t find a person with all these features. Just like my body image is something that does not exist (I would like to be able to change my looks at will...), also my ideal-best-friend is not something that can be found in this reality. Which is bit sad but that’s why I live for escapism. And when I get really obsessed with something fictional (oh how I wish it was not fictonal... I don’t like this reality...) that’s when it gets “mixed up” with this reality and all I want to do is just talk about it and do stuff that has something to do with this thing. Otherwise I just... “go with the flow”, try to live this life but I still spend more time in fictional worlds (movies, tv shows, games, books) than in this reality.

Usually when I feel like hyping and talking, it’s just enough that I write somewhere, like Tumblr, and pretend like someone was reading these and it’s like I talked with someone. Because really I don’t even need the answers, I just need to be heard. Fortunately I have therapy on Wednesday, it’s been probably a month since the last time. Actually almost exactly a month. It’s just... these thoughts never end by thinking or talking. More is just one the way 24/7. I get myself confused when I talk and think but it’s okay when I don’t think about them. Existential crisis.

Oh gosh how tired I am, I need to go to sleep soon. This day was very exhausting yet I don’t feel tired tired. Just my body is tired.