#she’s a dog she’s gonna do dog activities
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my dads dog who’s like. old as shit maybe a chihuahua? tiny to be clear loves to get in barking matches with the german shepherd next door that for said barking matches has to jump like 5-6 feet to see her over our walls he would literally eat you dumbass
#personal#it makes me irrationally annoyed bc like#she’s a dog she’s gonna do dog activities#but it just reminds me of how my dad had her outside without a leash#and then those dog owners had HIM outside without a leash#and he ran for my dads dog like crazy so my dad who loved her more than anything picks her ups and tried leaving#but i guess tripped and hit my moms car and lost a bunch of his teeth#he hid it way too long for us to help after the fact but whenever i hear them barking it reminds me of that and makes me upset#tip about parental death it’s the random things that get you#this isn’t random i don’t want to get into the random that turns extremely morbid cause it is morbid#it’s probably no worse than anything else but it stings worse#the shit show with the cremation place taking a while that’s when my thoughts got real morbid#but it’s done he’s home and his dog is still picking fights with that other dog
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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when the disability is actually disabling and not just funny jokes
#personal#i haven’t been keeping up with applying for jobs#because i can’t do too many major activities at once#and since i had an internship my brain chose ‘internship and video games’ as the things#now i’m sweating in my parents’ house about to drop at least a week of time on the new ffxiv expansion while my mom has a panic attack#because she thinks i’m having a repeat of my 2018-2019 postgrad depressive episode and won’t apply for jobs#when actually i just couldn’t mentally handle doing three things at once instead of two#i don’t know how to explain this to her without it sounding like an insane lie#like i AM gonna do it. it’s just that i’m looking at my several hundred unread emails and shaking like an abused dog#i need to get out of here but that requires doing the apps and to do the apps i need to finish dawntrail and to finish dawntrail i need to#get her off my back by showing her progress and to do that i need to work on apps#i’m gonna throw up i hate it here (my brain)
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will i ever stop seeing my childhood cat in every neighborhood cat i encounter or not
#she isn't even dead for all i know but my mom have her away bc the apartment she's in doesn't allow cats#(BUT DOGS HOW EVIL IS THAT AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS SO FUCKING QUIET AND PERFECT FOR CATS AND THERE'S EVEN THREE OTHERS#ROAMING AROUND IN THE SAME STREET LIKE THAT'S SO UNFAIR)#anyway she went to a lovely girl who is similar to my age and she is even living with a second cat now which is crazy bc we only ever had#her on her own but she was super active so i think that is actually doing her good#i think about her so often it's not funny and the way that we had her for 12 years and i'm prob never gonna know when she yk passes away#it's just so sad and unfair idk i would've gone to the ends of the world for her but alas#this also happened two years ago btw it's old news but i'm STILL thinking about her every day#000
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yall ever just
#` ooc || move bitch im 𝙂𝘼𝙔 `#( im so tired im AUGH )#( not only did i lose two dogs this year but now )#( another dog decided to go 'ok me now!' and pinch a nerve )#( now she cant use her back legs !! )#( we got her to the vet and everything and have meds to get her back on her feet )#( it seems mild so!! theres a silver lining but OH MY GOD )#( dogs. man )#( anyways. sorry for dropping in activity its gonna be a minute )#( i cant force myself to do anything rn )#( i love yall and i hope you understand )
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Breeder who just had her 2nd ✨accidental✨ double merle litter: Anyway it's no big deal. The double merle bitch I kept from last time produced several conformation champions. She doesn't know she's completely deaf and partially blind with underdeveloped eyes and needs daily eye drops for the rest of her life, so her quality of life is not affected. There is nothing wrong with this picture.
#breeder who has been active for like 20 years: progesterone test said not viable so i just put her with a young male and left them#im not saying she DOES do it on purpose#but this is the 2nd time she puts a bitch in heat with a very young (9m this time) male for like a couple of minutes barely#and gets a double merle out of it#the first time she said there was a crisis and she just threw the male in a pen with the female#and this time she says she just went to get the other dogs out of the car#willing to BET she'll keep a puppy to breed#shes gotten very diligent in dna colour testing lately which is nice and all but yknow#if youre gonna turn around and go happy shruggie about doubles. why do you bother
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I regret to inform everyone that today I found out I have a Reaction to squeaky toys. Makes me wanna bite and run around
#like come ON im already a ouppy and now this#few hours ago i went out and i heard some guy call his dog and like make noises with its squeaky toy#and my brain just went#!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude theres a TOY you need to RUN and CATCH it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#neuron activation#also earlier me and my bestie were walking her dog and we played with her with some sticks#and the dog really loves just destroying sticks the second she gets them in her teeth#and im like. same girl. same#maybe not with sticks but i loooove to bite things#and honestly. my bite stim is kinda silly cause the sensation of biting usually isnt enough. i need to create damage#i need to shred something to pieces with my teeth. not just bite#paper/cardboard is perfect for that#i love to just. after i finish a big juice box just tear it to tiny pieces#its the best shit#tho maybe. i should get myself some bite stim toy#honestly maybe even straight up a dog chewing toy. whos gonna tell me I can't. maybe even one that makes noises. fuck you#i cant wait to live on my own so i can just own a bunch of pet stuff without having a pet just for myself#i mean i do also want a pet but. i want some stuff just for me#bee buzz
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Cat has learned that she can bring her toys to me and I'll throw them for infinite hunting fun.
Unfortunately, she has also learned that she can smack her toys off the top step and cut out the middle man (me), much to the displeasure of both the people on the other side of my stairs and the people below me 😐
#cat#kitten#the longer i have her the more I'm finding out that she's a really smart cat. which is not good.#i don't have the means to catproof a lot of the stuff she gets into#i figured she'd be a big dumb baby like most cats. just two brain cells and all the bastard energy#but she has the normal level of bastardry as most cats but is like smarter than most I've had#and that scares me#like. when she does something she shouldn't there's like a sentience in her eyes that says 'yeah. i did that. what are you gonna do?'#and sometimes the answer is lock her in the bathroom or laundry room for a bit#cleaning is impossible. if i don't lock her away she destroys all my progress.#she's learned how to break into the dog's food and the drawer where i keep her toys at night#(because if i don't lock up her toys she'll bring all of them to my bed and drop them on me but also play with them loudly so i can't sleep)#she's figured out she can lift up one of my smaller rugs and push her toys underneath so she can hunt them there#she knows how to set off my motion activated hall light and does so if I'm not giving her enough attention (while I'm sleeping!!!?!)
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i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐
#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game'#fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!!#i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all#literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt#if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i.#all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion#i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!!#dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle#i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool#and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it#i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!!#why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add#and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3#man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk-#to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want#ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever.#might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go#.vent#listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing
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I miss writing and you guys so much. ;3; I hope you've all been doing well. 💙
#; OOC || Bri ♟️#//I'd like to say I'll pick up on my activity again soon but I really can't promise that.#//The end of this month will be one year since my dog passed and I don't know how well I'm gonna cope with that.#//I've spent most of this last year living in a fog and dissociating because knowing she's not here has been too difficult to really face.#//I'm also in a bit of medication limbo which doesn't help either and I won't get that sorted for another couple of weeks.#//I'll still try to do what I can when I can.#//I'm still really sorry for the delays on everything in the last year.#//I know I don't need to apologize because this is a hobby and all.#//But I feel bad and immense guilt not only towards all my friends/writing partners but towards myself as well.#//I'm trying to work on it with everything else but it's a lot of habits to unlearn and work on.#//This is getting too long I didn't want to ramble but I did asdfghjklhghjkl#//But I do hope you're all having a good day and that you get to have some time to relax and enjoy yourself this weekend!!#//Much love. 💙
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#Day 79#Warrior Cats#Brightheart#This is right after she regains conciousness and ability to walk post-dog attack#Only her deepest injuries remain#Some of her white spotting I hc is fur that grew back white from being scarred#Around 50% of the deep injuries actually fully heal/have fur grow back on them#The others do improve over time like her face and shoulder but the fur never fully grow back#What does fully heal is healed by the time she has Whitewing#She's not actively bleeding in this -- it's just stains but I'm gonna tag#Blood TW#2023 Daily Drawing Challenge
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L + ratio + crashing job market + mental illness + abusive parents + no consistent source of income to move out on + pet is slowly dying + paying for classes that are doing nothing + the world is burning + there is no hope +
#give it up for the girl whos life is going nowhere and actively in a downward spiral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#shut up chili#actively in crisis mode but i cant seek outpatient/php therapy even tho my therapist says i need it#bc my parents are gonna be out of town fr most of this month and my dog is so decrepit she cant be left alone#and i cant exist in this house without being berated for not trying hard enough despite the fact that im doing everything i fucking can#:))))
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my moms thinking of washing stuff and leaving it for several hours is better than nothing at all is gonna kill me i swear
#personal#the washer smells like dog piss - all the towels FOR dog piss are wet so when i need them#for dog piss. they do nothing#and anyway so instead of just cleaning the piss and poo now i’m doing that - and rewashing and then will need to dry the stuff bc my mom#straight would rather me rewash it 5 times then put her own laundry in the dryer#it’s very frustrating and worse bc she nags on me for using the washer once or twice a week#and when i bring up what she does okay so move out#and then! i text her im#home im actively trying not to touch my phone bc im cleaning up feces#and she’s like calling me and saying i didn’t text her (she read it) and then it’s just to ask about her packages bc i didn’t text her back#about that :|#and it’s so great when she’s like we’re all gonna die bc we’re so poor and and and#which is fair. and i feel her. until she’s doing that as i bring in 6 packages for her to open while telling me this
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french teacher said she liked my style of writing ‼️ wooooo
#i love when we do activities that are just like ‘continue this conversation dialogue’ its my favourite#i get to add a bunch of random storylines to the conversation its so funnnn. victor ur girlfriend thinks youre boring actually#romain wasnt supposed to tell you but he forgot… yeah. you guys should really talk about that#if it werent for the fact i think my teacher wnd the school would be very concerned id add stuff like ‘oh yeah nicole and patrice are#fighting because patrice talked with another girl and also killed nicoles dog. and now shes gonna take it to court’#most ppl in my class find conversation rlly hard but im lucky its the easiest to me
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Woke up an hour early and remembering the woman last night whose kid tried to wheelie his shopping cart into my pallet while i was moving it who I looked at longer than necessary bc he didnt move where she got a huge twist in her panties and went "exCUSE you! Don't look at him like that hE's JuSt A cHiLd"
#like dog i told him to move and he didnt move and then stood and grinned at me waiting for *me* to get out of *his* way#while i was actively trying to do my job#and the mom was halfway down the aisle when i told him to stop too like give me a break#maybe dont let kids do whatever they want in the grocery store#when she said excuse me i thought it was gonna b at the kid too bc he was ready to start rolling the second i started moving my pallet again#and to bitch at me???#fuck that#personal#ignore me#*coughs*#i uh#ive been going thru it with the short fuse thing recently
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OH FUCK YALL THOUGHT I WAS *ARMED GUARD*????
BRUHHHHHHHH
I'm the lowest level licensed security you can hire
I work foot patrol for shit like wet cement, construction sites, malls, libraries, outreach centers, and local events
My job is, essentially, human scarecrow
I am not permitted to carry a gun.
I am not permitted to carry a taser.
I am not permitted to carry pepper spray.
I am not permitted to carry a baton
I am not permitted to carry a knife or any multitool containing a knife
I don't have a plate vest
I'm not permitted to make any physical contact outside of administering first aid or in self defense, which must be made in minimal force required to ensure personal safety
I escort employees to make bank deposits, ask aggressive or violent people to leave, and take notes on safety hazards in patrolled areas
If someone bleeds, throws up, or takes a dump somewhere they shouldn't, it's between me and the custodian to make sure nobody slips in it bay bee
It is none of my business if someone is doing drugs. If they aren't an active danger to themselves or others then they're golden
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
If you're selling drugs in clear view I will ask that you please do that elsewhere, ideally with more discretion. End of interaction
If you are using drugs in clear view I will tell you *exactly* where the property ends so you can smoke your bong 3 feet outside of that line where I can't do shit if someone complains. End of interaction
Site Security is not police. It is not LPO. Someone could point you out as you run off the site and say "I saw him shove a microwave down his pants and walk out" and it would be approximately none of my business.
THINGS THAT ARE MY BUSINESS
Overdose in the bathroom. I will verbally check twice that you are conscious, and if I get no response I will warn that I am coming in to check on you. If I find you on the ground I will again try to speak to you, warn that I am touching your shoulder, and give you a jiggle. If I can't wake you up I roll you into recovery and wait for paramedics.
Threatening or harassing staff. You cannot make passes at the highschooler operating the pretzel stand. You cannot tell the bank teller you'll "track him down eventually". The lady at the nail salon said she didn't want to marry you six times now and now I'm your problem
Abuse, endangerment, or neglect. If you leave your baby on the sidewalk so you can shop by yourself then I will be the jerk who ruins your day. If you hit your kid I will become very much your problem. If you locked your dog in the car with the windows rolled up six hours ago and it isn't getting up when I tap the window I'm gonna be the biggest pain in the ass you'll see all day
Safety hazards. Don't shoot off a bottle rocket in the parking lot. Yes it's very cool and you probably won't hit anything important but there's a pretty big empty lot like six blocks away man, what if you nail a kid or something. If you wanna take your bearded dragon to the food court, keep him in your coat or in a carrier. Climb the telephone pole on Tuesday because thats my day off
Client complaints/concerns. Boss says you've been here living in your car for three days and it's time to move on. You and I know it's been a month but between us if you switch locations every couple days around the lot she won't catch you again till at least May. As long as you don't leave a bunch of trash laying out we're good.
END NOTES
If you have tattoos on your face, throat, or hands and you wanna pull something you gotta be so incredibly discrete, is so incredibly easy for Law Enforcement to track you down you have no idea. I know like 3 guys with face tattoos in town, one of them's been my buddy since highschool and the other 2 were introduced to me like "watch out for a guy with a star on his cheek, his name is Patrick Sturblish, he's 43 years old and I saw him pocket a redbull once".
Always assume someone is operating the cameras live.
The courts are so insanely overwhelmed all the time, if you nab something small and vital like bandages, tampons, underwear, whatever and don't have a long list of priors usually even a cop won't bother trying to charge you. If I can't tell you not to steal for the consequences then at least don't get cocky about it
In my own experience if you walk into a big store and straight up tell someone "I don't want to steal but I need this very badly" then usually someone will find a way to get it to you
If someone tells me you're stealing on camera I will let you know that someone caught you and it's your last chance to put stuff back before they do something
If you pull a weapon on me or someone else while I'm working then I'm required to inform police so please don't do that thank you
#I wanna be a PI someday but here I be for now#There are a few PIs that check in on child welfare and I like the idea of that#Like scoping out foster homes#Supervising parental visits#I might like that#Teablart
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