#she would do a puppet show he would do shakespear

[rg11]

whats your fav aspect(s) of jadekat?

anon im sorry but i had like 40+ notes prepaired for my thoughts on jadekat but i lost all of them proof-reading it and this is all i got

they are the ultimate yuri to me

[that-starry-freak]

uhm

So

More children for @sunny-sourzii !!!! (Also tagging @melodi-jackson cause I feel like you like seeing the kids too)

uhhh- first off!!! The twins! Yes, another set, I like making twins, sue me

(Also its raining SO hard rn and I'm so happy)

anyway, Morning glory and Moonflower!! Or Glory and Datura, as they're usually called. They're the 2nd youngest set of siblings in the third generation! Only older then Venus, Mars, and uh- listen i read the names once im.not very good at retaining knowledge

Glory is defiently the more extroverted of the two. She looks up to her siblings, and loves to play with them. Eccpecially giving them little makeovers (which usually ar exist her putting stickers on their face and scribbling red marker like blush, but yknow, shes got the spirit) he eccpecially loves when Lune does his makeup. He likes feeling pretty. Sbe also really enjoys bright colors, and her favorite color is rainbow! Though he's a bit impartial to pink! She's also very energetic, probaly one of the most energetic out of her siblings, but she always knows how to calm herself down for her twin brother. Her favorite stuffed animal is also because it reminded her of Datura!!

(Also nvm im not happy anymore the storm is giving me a headache)

Oh- wait- let's go it may be going away)

Datura however is the much more shy and introverted of the two. He is very reserved, calm, and quiet. He loves to read, and started reading full on chapter books at a pretty young age. He has social anxeity, and really opens up around Glory and a few others of his siblings. He also really admires Chica, but is too scared to talk to her. He also realized he was a boy pretty young, as he really didn't like when people would call him a girl and treat him like one, and he always felt quite a bit different from his sister. He takes after sun, ftm <3. Though he takes after moon in most other regards.

Aaannndd- yeah!! I love these two tbh. I love their designs, eccpecialy Glory's, and I think they're really sweet. Also I like their names.

And now to the other child i made! Thats right! I made a third one! I did all of this yesterday btw I was on the roll-

This is Luna Moth!! Or Luma, for short. (Also im changing their pronouns maybe to she/they) they're only a few years older then Datura and Glory

They're the family theatre kid, and likes putting on plays and puppet shows and just generally preforming for the kids in the daycare, as well as for the triplets. They like older musicals and theatre rather than new ones, but im not gonna name any cause I havnt watched any!!!! (Not Broadway ones at least) but idk they probaly like Shakespeare phantom of the opera and stuff

The drawing to the left is more of what they wear casually, outside of the daycare. Also I havnt decided if the antennas are part of them or the hats, though I'm probaly gonna do it wear its part of them.

And uhh- yeah! Luma!

I also have these little headshot draawings of all my children so far- (6 of them!) 2 vers

Shaded

And unshadwd

(From left to right. Top row: Solar, Lune, Nebula. Bottom row: Glory, Datura, Luma)

And uhhh- yeah!!!!

[chronicbeans]

I LOBE U SM LITERALLY YOU INCREASE MY MOOD HORMONES ( seratonin n oxytonin if ur wondering ) WHAT ABT WALLY N THE GANG WITH A COLLEGE OR HIGHSCHOOL READER (platonic fr fr) AND THEY'RE CURIOUS ABT THEIR HW ??

" what's the Pascal's triangle? SOCAHTAH? what's that? "

" literally satan's children idk what to tell you "

and the reader becomes their lil teacher idk abt human things 🥰🥰🥰

thx lizard 🦎🦎

Omg this is so cool! Thank you so much I am so glad I could make you happy by doing something as small as writing fanfiction!

Just a quick heads up, I feel like my high school experience was probably a bit different than most people's, because I took a health/medical career center. Basically, I only had three core classes at the end of the day with the morning ones all being taken up by my health/medical class. So, because I am basing this off of my experience (due to it being all I know), it might be a bit strange to most who didn't take a career center!

Wally and the Gang with a High School Student Reader (Platonic fr fr)

📖 So, you somehow ended up getting the Welcome Home gang involved with your school work. Now they keep you up all night asking you what a "Bermuda Triangle", "War", and even what a "Demand Curve" is.

📖 You better hope that they don't find any of your anatomy or biology homework or textbooks. The thought of them asking absolutely ANYTHING involving those topics is humiliating on its own! You don't want to end up explaining the human body to a small little puppet. Or big dog puppet. Or ANY puppet!

📖 Once, Wally had asked you what "these" were while pointing to a picture in your medical book that showed the organ systems. When you explained, halfheartedly, about how they kept you alive and were inside of your body, his pupils just dilated. Right as you turned around to go back to your homework, you were horrified when his first question was "I wanna see them! How can I see them?"

📖 Frank will be interested in your science books, especially if they include stuff about ecosystems. He knows butterflies are in there, somewhere, because some of the pictures include them. Mostly very low on some big chain. When you explain about how that is a food chain, you are shocked to see him cry for the first time about how his butterflies are being eaten. Apparently the books in Welcome Home never told him that. Then again, the show never included any animals besides insects and the animal neighbors as far as you remember.

📖 Sally wants to know more about this "Shakespeare" guy your English class keeps talking about. He made plays, right? He must be a pretty swell guy! Can she meet him? Oh! And can you teach her more about the planets and solar system?

📖 Basically, every neighbor will have a specific subject they show interest in. Sally, Barnaby, and Eddie will love English. Howdy would like math, simply because he has no idea how this "money stuff" works or why it is so important. Poppy and Julie will like home economics, Poppy for the food science and Julie for the clothing. Home would also like home economics because they are literally a Home. Frank likes science, specifically for the animals and butterflies. Wally would love anatomy and any medical classes because he wants to learn more about YOU.

[artist-issues]

*shrieks into the void*

“Let me free you from having to agree that Dune is a good movie series!”

There’s no emotional depth. The three things you’re supposed to care about, with the characters, in this movie are a) Paul’s family/household, their name and their wellbeing. b) The Fremen, their cause and their wellbeing. c) Chani, Paul’s relationship with her and her wellbeing. But the movies do not display any genuine moments of these characters being relatable or human or empathetic in a way that we can all empathize with. Paul’s interactions with his father before his death are too formal and take themselves too seriously. There’s little to no humor or relaxed moments between them that the casual viewer could relate to before big, dramatic moments ramp up the tension. When everything is solemn and Shakespeare, nothing is impactful or hits you in a real way. It all quickly becomes emotional white-noise, whether the dad is screaming about a assassination attempt on his son or his death is revealed to that son—who cares? Paul and Chani? They have no build-up to their relationship. There’s no reason they should like each other beyond animal attraction. And no audience member can relate to the experience of having supernatural visions about a girl, then meeting her and gaining her trust through pitched combat and ritual training. So nobody cares when he betrays her, no matter how much dramatic music you play. And Paul’s mother’s motives are either unclear or wholly unrelatable, so you don’t care what she’s after or how it will affect everyone else.

The writing lacks pacing. There are barely any jokes or moments of regular, normal conversation. Every single conversation is weighed down by solemn “fantasy culture” references, every single line is burdened by dramatic mic-drop one-liners. Paul and his mother never talk about what they miss about their old planet together, in a normal fashion. That would be the most natural thing in the world, as they travel through the desert.

The villains are shock-jock puppets. You might as well have a clip show of people getting run over by cars or falling off of bridges playing, instead of every scene with Fayd Rautha or any Harkonen, for all that the villains add to the story. They’re just there to be loud, or erotic, or gory—but don’t worry, the movie will play dramatic, chanting music behind everything they do so that you feel a sense of “epic dread” when they’re actually doing nothing intimidating or clever, or scary. They’re just yelling and smashing people. If they twirled their mustaches and “mua-ha-ha-ha’d” they’d at least be a little campy and fun to watch—but they’d be exactly the same amount of ‘effective or interesting in the story.’

It’s all sugar, no nutrients. The sugar just happens to be pretty music, good sound and visual effects, and nice-looking actors & actresses. The message is “power is derived from the successful manipulation of those with faith.” That’s it. That’s awful. That’s an awful message. What am I supposed to do with that information? What am I supposed to carry out of that theater? I’m supposed to start abandoning submission and faith in any higher power or authority, and use those ideas for selfish ambition and control, if I were to listen to Dune.

And don’t tell me it’s profound to take your main character and make him the villain. Boo hoo hoo. That’s not profound, I don’t care if it is Timothee Chalamet. Nobody cared about who he was before he betrayed his girlfriend and seized manipulative power for himself. When Anakin Skywalker falls to the dark side and kills his wife and turns on all the people who looked to him for help? You care. Know why? Because you saw who he was and how he struggled to live up to that, before the fall ever happened. He was a human character with relatable flaws like pride and human moments, like teasing his girlfriend or making his best buddies nervous, with hobbies, like tinkering. With a competitive personality. With a deep angst over loss. Paul Atreides? Lazy. Lazy in comparison. We’re just told his dad died and told he’s sad about that, but there’s no real human attention given to that. Just big dramatic, angsty declarations and acting-explosions. We’re told he loves Chani, and expected to believe it, but given no evidence except a suggestive post-sex scene with zero romantic tension or buildup, or even bonding. All Paul Atreides is, is a character who has a laundry list of epic hard-to-do chores, and he gets them done, while dramatic music plays, as if there was some doubt he was going to be able to do his chores and you’re supposed to see his completion of the list as a moment of victory. Guess what? I don’t care about his chore list, no matter how “cultural” they are. So I don’t care about his rise or fall, or anything he’s doing, because he’s not a relatable human character. He’s just a caricature. And that would be fine. If there were any relatable human side characters to look at him through the eyes of. But there aren’t. Because this whole story is “shock and awe, look at how important we are, hear that rumbling bass in the soundtrack, see this character brooding into the horizon for the seven-thousandth shot?” What am I supposed to take away from this? All sugar. No nutrients.

[tornrose24]

This is probably going to be the last update to this AU for a month or so since I will need a break from it to work on other stuff (with maybe an exception for a Halloween related drawing).

Also, I think since I never named them yet, Suzie's friend is named 'Jules.'

Lily, Suzie, Nate, Jules, and all the puppeteers are mine.

Oh, and since I wasn't able to, here's more info on the pupeteers:

-George Donovan–a comedian and voice actor. Known for doing a few comedic guest roles on TV shows in the 50’s and 60’s. Was known to have two sons. Was supposed to do a few voice roles for Hanna-Barbera in addition to working for Playfellow Workshop. Was known to be allergic to chocolate.

-Elizabeth Callister– an LA stage actress known for doing voice roles in a few cartoons. Daughter of a well-known producer, which allowed her to enter the ranks of the entertainment industry. Said to be ‘spoiled sweet’ and was hoping to entertain children. Was said to show small signs of what might have been ADHD.

–Stanley Hersh– a stage actor from New York. Son of Jewish-Polish immigrants who came to America in the early 1930s. Was said to continue his family’s store if he wouldn’t be able to make it into show business. It is believed Welcome Home would have been his biggest break prior to his disappearance.

–Zelda duPont– a singer and stage actress. Was involved with a few civil rights movements under a different name along the East coast. It is presumed that she was hired as a puppeteer because ‘no one is supposed to see who is playing them.’

-Louise Sherman–a well-known trans actress from the 60’s, yet was better known in the LGBTQ community as opposed to a wider audience. Supposedly a friend of Welcome Home’s creator. Spent a few years abroad in England and had been involved with a few Shakespeare plays.

-Travis McCoy–an actor from Texas. Had starred in a few Westerns and Romantic-Comedy projects. Was said to be very popular with his female fans due to his charm and good looks, but was never seen dating anyone up until his disappearance.

-Bertrand Parsons–a New England and New York stage actor also known for doing voice roles. Was also well-known in the LGBTQ community, yet this was kept silent from the main public for many decades. It is believed by some that his name is in fact a stage name.

–Walter Jones–Little is known about him, but he was a puppeteer for a few shows. Was said to be good friends with Welcome Home’s creator (and some suspected that the two might have been more than friends). It is believed Welcome Home would have been his big break given that he was to voice the main star of the show. He was given a draft card just before the show aired, and it is believed that he–like many other young men–escaped to Canada to avoid the draft.

[autistic-sidestep]

uno_reverse_card.gif im cheating and using a few ideas from the meme bc i have No braincells but i DO crave that suranga lore SO--

favorite color to wear AND favorite color in general, if they're different things; favorite genre of any media AND what his favorite type of media is (music, movies, shows, etc), favorite person, AND what he thinks abt the rat king :3

k lets finally fuckign answer this

favourite colour: phthalo green! namely why it's a very core part of the argos suit. they like wearing blacks/greys/dark greens and blues, those tend to lean into the more professional/conservative look they're angling for as a mob step, but i'm sure if they weren't having to worry abt staying lowkey in civilian cover they'd love to dress up in more bright colours, jewel tones n such. as for now, most of that's reserved for when they're juno (pre-debut) and argos.

their cuckoo training's given them an aversion to opera and ballet, given those featured heavily in the functions they were meant to infiltrate as a cuckoo, sometimes as a dancer themselves. but! musicals and plays, for sure. The COSTUMES. THE EMOTIONS. tia elena probably invites sura to come with her one time and they're hooked (i want to believe wicked's in the fh verse, they'd be all over that. misunderstood outcast tarred as a villain? YEAH. post-hb it'd have even more resonance; no good deed is SO fitting cos of past-self rivalry. defying gravity, too.) then there's 70s-80s rock, esp queen (ofc the lead singer is the purrcury's namesake), sharing the same taste in music as pelayo and joes lol.

they're a classics/shakespeare nerd too, (hence why sura's puppet was named juno), and they'd especially enjoy viola's genderfuckery in twelfth night (and honestly, the mental image of argos going "it's SHAKESPEARE you HEATHEN" after quoting something from one of the tragedies at a clueless hero is too funny to pass up. they're just bringing some class to the villain scene.)

they like movies, though they do find it a little less engaging w/o the minds to read. a good few hollywood golden age, but animated ones are probably their favourite thanks to themmy. they binged a bunch of cartoon movies together, and lilo and stitch is their favourite cos of the BIG relate to lilo being a weird autistic girl and stitch being an escaped experiment that was made to be evil, but learned to love,,,,,

favorite person: pre-hb, it was a tie between ortega, tia elena (she nicknamed sura pollito, and she's the Only person sura will allow to call them that) and, as expected, themmy, in no small part due to the fact they all kept feeding sura. and he kept coming back like a stray cat lol. they made sura feel safe and loved and valued, and not just a little kid. themmy (in my hc) being openly autistic especially helped sura be less insecure about how young he came off, especially when the farmhands infantilised the regenes so much (and by extension, learning to mask and suppress his autistic traits). part of hiding his face (and lowering his voice) was so people would take him seriously, cos he was well aware how babyish he looked. it was a huge relief not to do that anymore, or at least do it less.

themmy: so what did you think?

t:

t: are you crying?

sura, sniffling and very obviously holding back tears: no

throughout rebirth, it was just mortum, largely cos they felt like the friendships they had as sidestep, being able to relax in someone else's company, this time, in juno's body. they love nerding out with her on tech stuff, critiquing peoples' suits, and just generally having someone that Gets It about just sitting in silence hanging out (mortum reads as neurodivergent to me).

it's a tie between her and chen now, to the surprise of both sura and chen, given how much friction they used to have lol. turns out that they have a lot in common (better at bonding with animals instead of people), more so than before hb, of course. (i am also pushing my autistic chen agenda, and that was part of the friction between the two was that step was trained to understand allistic inclined people. chen operates on different rules. but also given chens scepticism about the suspiciously well-trained young vigilante thing, i'll give him a pass for that too.)

rat king opinions: SURA ADORES THE GIRLS. sorta filling the void fred did, but not quite. i like to think of them as like… a telepathic equivalent of a service dog. if sura wasn't a mob step, they'd be a lot more dependent on them for interaction, but as is, they're a reliable supportive presence that sura knows will always have its back. it's nice to have another telepath to communicate with! routinely gives them mental scritches and treats for being the best telepathic rat brains in the whole world. they deserve it!!(and an added bonus, that also involves some self-care for herself. can't disappoint/let them down. it's a win/win.)

[stardewremixed]

Random headcanon

*Harvey enjoys reading Shakespeare. I think he and Elliott would be good friends.

*Elliott stares off into the river on the bridge because he thinks bridges are romantic and he needs inspiration for his Gothic romance novel.

*Alex drinks Gatorade constantly.

*Demetrius refuses to turn on the A/C in the summer because he's worried about his work papers fluttering away and ending up on the floor. His family has to sweat it out or use localized fans. Seb doesn't care. The basement is pretty cool.

*Gus donates food to the local shelter and soup kitchen.

*Haley goes shopping in Zuzu City frequently once access to the train is repaired. She is not a bus girl. Haley would do more online shopping if her internet didn't crash so often. She regularly calls Sebastian to come fix it. He obliges only because it's a gig and makes him gold but he is secretly starting to like her a bit. She doesn't find him that bad either.

*Sam used to cloud gaze with Granny Evelyn. He talks to Harvey about getting a better prescription so she can see the clouds again. He means well, but of course, doctor-patient confidentiality prevents Harvey from saying anything. He might just suggest it though in Evelyn's next check-up. ❤☁️

*Lewis wanted to be on a cooking competition show when he was younger. That's why he's so adamant about the soup being perfect for the Governor during the luau.

*Evelyn used to collect seashells with her little girl (Alex's mom). It's too painful, both emotionally and physically to do it now. But during the luau she let's herself dream a little and remembers her daughter.

*Robin is the unofficial town tourism board. Mayor Lewis always ropes her into meeting newcomers when they arrive. She is friendly and personable and a good fit for this role. I imagine she traveled frequently when she was younger and that's how she met Demetrius.

*Abigail plays World of Warcraft and Elder Scrolls Online. She has an epic high level character in both, even higher than Sebastian.

*Jas enjoys playing hide and seek with Shane and Marnie, but hates it when Mayor Lewis does. He's terrible at hiding, and he always sneezes and gives away his place.

*Post-recovery Shane likes to take naps in the Farmer's field on sunny days.

*Sam's allergies make him a poor farm companion, but he does wonders in sprucing up the cabin. If married, he would even create a little music room for himself and their kids.

*Marnie enjoys working out once a week at Caroline's. It helps with her body confidence. She is hoping to convince Pam to join sometime.

*Pam was married to a sailor at one point. He left her soon after Penny was born, going to procure diapers and he never returned.

*The witch used her memory erasing technique on the Wizard, her ex-husband to make him forger who his child is in SDV.

*Caroline once considered getting a health coach certification but worried the classes would take her away from raising Abigail properly.

*Pierre is a workaholic, but he allows himself to unwind at Stardrop every Friday evening. He wishes Caroline would join him, but she's not a night owl.

*Gunther is allergic to peppers. He hates spicy food. Tacos literally make him gag.

*Penny relates better to children than adults. She is a painfully shy introvert and she had a speech impediment as a child. She used a puppet to help communicate.

*Jas also had delayed communications, and Vincent is showing early signs of ADHD.

*Emily and her best friend, Sandy grew up doing everything together before moving to the Desert. They swam in the Gem Sea, they played pirates and nobles in the Cindersap Forest, and they collected gems in the quarry. They always invited Haley to join but Haley refused since she didn't like the more active gameplay. When Sandy moved away, Haley was secretly glad hoping Emily would finally spend more time with her.

*Leah loves making fresh salads. When she lived in the city, she would visit the Farmer's Market near daily.

*Maru wonders what life in space would be like. Her scientific and rational brain tells her she could never be an astronaut because of her poor eyesight and low stamina, but that doesn't stop her from dreaming.

[true-unicorn-queen]

The fatal flaw in Hope's characterization and How it relates to Klaus

Since Klaus' funeral I have not been able to get this out of my head so here goes....

Hope is again and again compared to Klaus. Since the very first episode, she has been compared to Klaus. But she is not like Klaus. And I would argue she is more like Hayley. Yes, she has a temper. So do both her parents. But she does not enjoy violence. Klaus will only use it as a last resort, if he can't get his way with words or manipulation, only then will he get violent. But he enjoys the violence. He enjoys the act of domination, of knowing your enemy knows he has been defeated. He is cocky, extremely confident and most importantly extremely clever.

He manipulates situations from behind the scenes like a puppet master. He has an element of drama to this fighting too. The oldest flashback we see of him fighting is with Elijah where he cuts his belt and makes a joke. That is all for the drama. The with the Marcel's Army vs Klaus fight in S1E8 The River in Reverse, Klaus lets Marcel's vampires beat him, lets them think they won before he goes all out and shows his true power. It's all for the drama. Again in S3E22 The Bloody Crown, he is getting the crowd to rage, he is manipulating them into the exact place he wants them. Between S4 and S5 Klaus was going all over the world killing his enemies to make the world safer for Hope.

My point is Klaus is clever. He thinks strategically, with deductive reasoning, multiple steps ahead of everyone else. Including his family.

None of this translates to Hope.

Not to say that Hope is stupid. She is smart but she she more book smart and Klaus was a strategist art-of-war type of smart. Hope knows information. Klaus understands the information and knows how to use it.

Hope also does not have Klaus' three steps ahead approach to .... anything. For Hope the only problem that exists is the one that is right in front of her this very moment and nothing else.

A good metaphor would be Klaus is a scalpel and Hope is a chainsaw.

But then, she doesn't need to be the scalpel. She is powerful enough to be the chainsaw. True, but she can't be in multiple places at once. She'd had to choose who to save multiple times in this show. One of them is usually Landon. And Hope wants him to be safe so she refuses to train him. This is the exact opposite of what Klaus would have done. If Hope was like Klaus she would not have wanted him to be in danger but she would not have refused to train him.

Klaus hopes for the best and prepares for the worst. Hope hopes for the best.

Side note: Hope looks down on nerd stuff that Landon likes. And let me tell you this Klaus Mikaelson was a nerd. He read poems, paints(he mentions painters over the course of the show, I don't remember them right now), he likes Shakespeare, he was a theatre kid. Today we have nerd that are into Star Wars and DnD. But if you look at Klaus' past you see that he is a nerd. Nerd just looked different back then.

The mark that I think the writers missed with Hope and something that plays into the like father, like daughter thing is that Hope isn't cunning like her father. Klaus, for a millennia was a vampire, he couldn't be killed but he was still not nearly as powerful as Hope is today or he would become after becoming the Hybrid. So he had to be cunning. He has shown the ability and patience to wait a prey out. Wait for the right moment to strike. He doesn't always antagonize everyone. He does have the ability to think things through. He behaves like a proper King and a proper army General.

And none of this translates into Hope.

Instead Hope is more impulsive and short-sighted. She is not going to poke the bear to see if it wakes up. She is just going to kill the bear.

So while she might have the power to do bad things she doesn't have the cunning to be Klaus Mikaelson: The Great Evil.

[teawaffles]

There’s No Business Like Show Business: Chapter 5, Part 1

T/N: This is one super-long chapter ( ; ω ; ) so it has been split into 2 parts.

One week later. This was the night Maya’s company had been invited to perform.

The West End of London, stretching from Soho to Covent Garden, was renowned for its large theatre district, crowded with historic names such as the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, Haymarket Theatre, and St James’s Theatre, in addition to newer entrants. [1]

Right in the centre of the district was Piccadilly Circus. At this time in history, the “Eros” fountain had yet to be built [2]. Here was the intersection of numerous thoroughfares, with pedestrians and horse-drawn carriages coming and going, day and night — the busiest spot in London.

It was here that a certain elderly noblewoman drove past in a carriage. But the next moment, she saw a strange sight in the middle of the square, and ordered her coachman to stop the carriage.

“……My word, what could that be?”

The words fell from her lips.

In the centre of the square was a simple stage about ten metres wide, composed of wooden boxes placed together and covered with boards. Passers-by had stopped to look out of curiosity, and a small crowd began to form.

After a short while, a lone woman appeared on stage.

She wore a sky-blue dress and a long, blonde wig. The crowd stared blankly as she gave a reverent bow.

“——Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. We are a small theatre company hailing from the East End. I am Maya, its chairperson.”

She raised her head, and gazed upon the whole of Piccadilly Circus.

“You may be feeling confused as to why a stage has suddenly occupied the Circus, but first, let me express our deepest gratitude that we, a theatre company of humble origins, have been able to meet you in this miraculous way.”

Her dignified voice resounded across the square, causing a stir among the onlookers. As more people noticed what was happening and gathered in droves, the crowd encircling the stage gradually expanded.

“Without further ado, let us bring you a little dream in a fantastic world.”

Maya ended her introduction with a graceful bow. Then, a man appeared on stage. Facing the crowd, he began to speak in a sonorous voice.

“It was a radiant afternoon filled with golden sunshine. A boat cruised leisurely down the river. Small, young hands gripped the oars. They seemed to lack strength: rising nimbly, then falling left and right as if to guide the oars’ movements.”

“……Hmm?”

The crowd listened intently as he narrated, with accompanying hand gestures.

“Oh, how terrible: what a cruel fate this is, to meet three girls! I’m all warm and sleepy. But still you wish to talk to me! You move my feathers, and do not breathe. But I’m all alone. I’m no match for the three of you.”

“This— Could it be……?” someone in the audience murmured.

With his monologue complete, the man took his leave. Then, another woman appeared at a corner of the stage. Holding a book in one hand, she began to read fluently from it.

“Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank——”

In tandem with the narrator’s words, the blonde-haired Maya gave a small yawn. It was as if she had swapped places with a young girl herself. Without realising it, the audience held their breath.

Then from the side of the stage, a person appeared wearing a vest and rabbit’s ears, with a pocket-watch in one hand.

By this time, the crowd encircling the stage had become fully spellbound.

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

“——All the world’s a stage. And the men and women merely players.” [3]

An actor delivered his lines from the stage of a gorgeous West End theatre, as its owner, a nobleman, looked on from the box seats.

The actor himself knew the height of his fame, and hence his actions were somewhat egotistical. Nevertheless, these were the acting skills of a true professional: his clear, bright voice resounded in every corner of the intricately decorated theatre, delving into the ears of his audience, and producing an indescribable feeling in their chests.

His salary was eye-wateringly high, but evidently, it had been an excellent decision to hire this actor. Still, despite his self-satisfaction, the nobleman had a pained expression.

The reason for it was clear. This was a renowned theatre company famous for its acting talent. Even though it was their opening night — a momentous occasion, the stalls were unusually empty.

He’d made sure to advertise the play well in advance, so this was unexpected. As he admired the actors, who were not bothered in the least by the empty seats in the audience, the nobleman stood up and headed to the entrance.

“Hey, you. Haven’t there been any more visitors?”

He directed his question to the young man behind the ticket window.

“About that— Just a while ago, it seems a show’s begun at Piccadilly Circus.”

“A show?”

“Yeah, though I heard about it from someone else. A stage suddenly appeared in the middle of the square, and it looks like there’s a play being held. It’s about…… that; the one where a girl chases a rabbit and falls down a hole, uh……”

Those keywords alone led the nobleman to the answer.

“——Do you mean, ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’?”

The young man clapped his hands in appreciation.

“Oh, that’s right. Yeah, that.” He sighed wistfully. “Ahh, it brings me back: I read it when I was a child. And as I recall…… was it ‘Maya’? It seems that’s the chairwoman’s name.”

“Wha……!”

Upon hearing that name, the nobleman recoiled in shock.

“That theatre company from the slums?”

A play held on a stage that appeared out of nowhere. The young man saw it as a mere street performance, but to the nobleman, this was something different. As soon as the image of the perpetrators surfaced in his mind, his face turned red with anger.

An extraordinary turn of events, happening right on the opening night of an important production — as if it had been carefully planned to do so. In other words, Maya and her company had intended to sabotage his production out of spite, by putting up a play out of the blue, and not even in a proper theatre. That was what the nobleman concluded.

To add insult to injury, they had chosen to perform “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”. To stand up to a classic with a piece of children’s literature. To pit Lewis Carroll against Shakespeare.

Although it was a ridiculous idea worthy of scorn, the fact remained that they had stolen his precious audience.

He posed a question to the young ticket seller.

“Well if that’s the case, wouldn’t there be a huge commotion? The Yard should be on to them any moment now.”

“That’s the thing…… It seems they’re already gone.”

Hearing that, the nobleman threw his head back in laughter.

“I told you so. It’s all because they’re out of their depth. They can recite their lines in jail for all I care.”

However, the young man made a troubled expression.

“Uh…… Sorry. I didn’t make myself clear. Actually it seems that after finishing one scene, they specified a different location, packed up their sets quickly and left.”

“……What?”

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Alice; a great girl like you, to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!”

Behind the church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, in Trafalgar Square, Maya and her company acted out the scene in which Alice shrank and grew larger, panicking all the while. The front of the stage had been covered with a white cloth, and a light shone on it from the back, allowing them to show the changes in Alice’s size in the manner of shadow puppets. As Alice grew until her head struck the roof, the audience buzzed in excitement.

Watching from the wings of the stage, Bond could see that everything was proceeding smoothly.

His plan to demonstrate the true abilities of this company, was a moving theatre that roamed all around the city of London—— a “guerrilla theatre”.

They would perform in busy areas to attract people’s attention, then quickly cut off their act and leave before the authorities arrived to stop them. After which, they would continue the performance at another location. One could say this method was the exact opposite of performing in an officially-recognised theatre.

There was a reason why they had changed the contents of their play. As their original performance comprised three short stories, there was a concern that the audience would grow bored after watching just one scene. However, staging a full-length play across various locations would keep up their interest for the next scene.

In addition, “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” took place in a nonsensical, chaotic world, with no apparent connection between its acts. As a well-known story in itself, anyone joining in halfway would still be able to enjoy their performance — a perfect work to be presented in this manner.

The main issue was the acting, but that was helped by their practice in performing on a big stage.

As part of this plan, the play they would put up was not of the type that drew the audience’s attention to the stage right from the start, but rather one that was performed outdoors to people passing by. Hence they would have to project their voices and exaggerate their actions, but this was simply an extension of the two weeks’ practice they had done before.

Moreover, Maya and her company had extensive experience in performing children’s literature, with a focus on ease of understanding, so much so that they had almost learned the entire tale by heart. Memorising their lines had been no trouble at all.

Furthermore, the preparations at each of the locations they moved to — the very heart of the operation — were borne by the East End residents, who appreciated their performances.

The plan inevitably required manpower, but there would be no point in Bond providing it. However, with the trust of their fellow residents, Maya and her company had managed to recruit the stage crew by themselves. This achievement was their own.

As the company performed in one location, the stage crew would set up the temporary stages in the other locations across the city. They had accepted the company’s request with pleasure, and Bond couldn’t thank them enough for the depth of their kindness.

As he looked upon the crowd, all standing with eyes locked upon the stage, Bond chuckled.

——Even without a theatre, there would always be a place for acting.

It had been a wild idea to turn the city of London into their stage. But the East End residents lent them their support. And Maya and her company were putting up an excellent performance.

In a manner of speaking, this play was an all-out challenge from the people from the East End, to the gilded theatres of the West End.

Ten minutes till showtime. The players announced the location of their next act, then quickly descended from the stage.

“I’ll be leaving the cleanup to you then,” Bond addressed the remaining crew at the square. Then he directed the actors to board the carriages he had prepared. Taking the reins of one himself, he urged the horses forward in a gallop.

“Um, we owe it to you that our audience has enjoyed our play thus far, but…… I’m not sure if we can continue to do so,” Maya asked with a worried look.

Hearing that, the other actors in the carriage, who’d been going over their lines, turned solemn.

Although things had been going well so far, if their acts attracted too large a commotion, it stood to reason that Scotland Yard would put its full attention into stopping the play. Moreover, bad actors may also seek to take advantage of the hubbub. As far as possible, they wished to avoid their audience falling victim to crime.

Bond fully understood their apprehension. Because of that, he kept calm as he reassured them.

“Not to worry. I have some dependable colleagues.”

Saying that, he gazed in the direction the carriage was going, and smiled.

“It’s a popular saying, isn’t it? The show must go on.”

The curtains had been raised. Now all that was left, was to play their roles to the end.

Footnotes:

[1] This district is known as Theatreland (Wikipedia). The first two theatres listed are still standing, with St James’s Theatre having been demolished in 1957.

[2] If you were to go to Piccadilly Circus now, you would see a very prominent bronze fountain with a statue of a winged angel on top. Actually, the statue isn’t of the Greek god Eros at all. (Wikipedia)

[3] A line from Shakespeare’s As You Like It (Wikipedia).

Translator’s notes:

Quotes from Alice in Wonderland All dialogues from the East Enders’ production have been heavily referenced from the Project Gutenberg version of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.

Thinking about what year the series was set in In this chapter, we learn that the “Eros” fountain hasn’t been built yet — it was unveiled only in June 1893. But we know some events of the Phantom of Whitechapel arc, such as when the people of Whitechapel formed a militia, did take place in history — these were broadly in the autumn of 1888. So this actually works out, and gives us a sense of when the events of the manga unfolded.

Edit: The manga seems to be canonically taking place between 1879-1882 latest — you can read my analysis here!

Piccadilly Circus in 1868 This is entirely for fun — here’s a screenshot from the game Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate (set in London 1868), with Evie standing at Piccadilly Circus:

I couldn’t find any pictures of the Circus from before the “Eros” fountain was built, but in Yuumori’s time, it would’ve still had the circular shape shown here. When Shaftesbury Avenue was built in 1886, it transformed Piccadilly Circus from a circle into the sort-of trapezoid crossroads layout it has retained today (British History Online).

[cappymightwrite]

Might be crack but I think in his last memories about his half siblings, the song that Sansa sings to herself while brushing Lady's coat is Florian and Jonquil.

Hmm yeah could be! I do think it is significant that we have yet to get any lyrics from it, despite it being a heavily referenced song, particularly connected to Sansa. The closest thing we have to its narrative outline and characters is from The Hedge Knight:

"You are no knight," she was saying as the puppet's mouth moved up and down. "I know you. You are Florian the Fool."

"I am, my lady," the other puppet answered, kneeling. "As great a fool as ever lived, and as great a knight as well."

"A fool and a knight?" said Jonquil. "I have never heard of such a thing."

"Sweet lady," said Florian, "all men are fools, and all men are knights, where women are concerned."

It was a good show, sad and sweet both, with a sprightly swordfight at the end, and a nicely painted giant.

[...]

"That was good," Egg enthused. "I like how you make them move, Jonquil and the dragon and all. I saw a puppet show last year, but they moved all jerky. Yours are more smooth."

Although that might be a variant, a play version of the folktale, rather than the exact song of Florian and Jonquil. We also have the song Six Maids in a Pool connected to F+J: 

The pool from which the town took its name, where legend said that Florian the Fool had first glimpsed Jonquil bathing with her sisters, was so choked with rotting corpses that the water had turned into a murky grey-green soup.Jaime took one look and burst into song. 

"Six maids there were in a spring-fed pool..." – ASOS, Jaime III

Will the OG F+J song that Sansa loves include that famous meeting? Maybe, since hot pools/water are a recurring motif that connect Jon and Sansa quite nicely. Would be pretty cool. I think GRRM must have been influenced by this famous painting by John William Waterhouse when coming up with F+J, because that’s the image my mind immediately goes to when I think of their meeting:

(Hylas and the Nymphs, 1896)

A dark haired youth with an auburn haired beauty...*waggles eyebrows* Sounds about right, George. And maybe to a lesser extent, these three as well:

(A Naiad or Hylas with a Nymph,1893) 

(La Belle Dame sans Merci, 1893)

(Lamia, 1905)

Honestly, I’m going to have to make a separate post of all the John William Waterhouse paintings that could be Sansa/Alayne/Jonquil, because there are a lot of redheads and raven-haired ladies, not many blondes though, interestingly. But what the hell, I can’t resist including some more:

(Ophelia, 1894)

(Lamia, 1909)

(Echo and Narcissus, 1903)

(Tristan and Isolde, 1916)

A lot Waterhouses’ paintings depict tragic romances and figures from Classical mythology, as well as Shakespeare and Arthurian legend (sources that have no doubt influenced GRRM to a degree as well). People often conflate him with the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, since they depict very similar subjects, but Waterhouse is more of a later follower of their principles, obviously hugely inspired by the likes of Dante Gabriel Rossetti, etc. You can actually trace a line of influence right from the Brotherhood to GRRM actually, because William Morris was a periphery member of the group, and later a big influence of Tolkien. Today, Morris is primarily known for his textiles, but he was also a HUGE medievalist and a great writer as well...honestly, big up Morris, a true renaissance man. So much of LoTR can actually be traced back to Morris and his romances (most notably The House of the Wolfings, 1889), so when people say Tolkien is the father of modern fantasy, BITCH it was my man Morris. 

But anyway, Florian and Jonquil mirrors these tragic romances that so influenced Waterhouse and the Brotherhood, since it is a story that is both “sad and sweet”. In fact we know that it is a tragic romance from Sansa’s pov:

For those who remained, a singer was brought forth to fill the hall with the sweet music of the high harp. He sang of Jonquil and Florian, of Prince Aemon the Dragonknight and his love for his brother's queen, of Nymeria's ten thousand ships. They were beautiful songs, but terribly sad. Several of the women began to weep, and Sansa felt her own eyes growing moist. – ACOK, Sansa VI

Basically, all I’m saying is...I’m pretty certain GRRM is aware of Morris, the Brotherhood and Waterhouse, if not a big fan of them. I’m also pretty sure that Jonquil was auburn haired and Florian dark-haired, coz to all of these, I’m like:

ANYWAY (got kinda off topic), I do hope we get Sansa singing Florian and Jonquil to Jon as part of his post-warg/resurrection recovery. I know @fedonciadale has talked about the importance of singing in relation to Sansa, so it would be great for that specific singing to Lady memory to include F+J, and then to have that song reoccur later in Winds. So fingers crossed we finally get to read the lyrics of this famous ditty! :)

[joe-maristopher]

«WandaVision»: 3. Wanda, dear, do we have a problem?

Boom! We have a mention of Pietro, Ultron, Shakespeare (ah, Vision's an ntellectual), neighbors with a slight horror in their eyes, unjustified speed of events, as well as the subtext "Wanda in her world is a king and the god". And yes, that awesome soap ads! The slogan is a reference to Wanda's newfound abilities, I think. I keep my eyes on Agnes and prepare an invitation for her to go to the evil characters' bench. You can't be sure of anything, but who knows, she is able use the situation for her own purposes and be a helper of Mephisto.

Let's talk about the kids and the speed of everything.

I've never been a fan of Billy and Tommy in the first place. I don't understand all the excitement associated with them, and I remember that everything ended after their appearence... badly. Besides. I've always wondered why Wanda rode into the magical wilds and didn't think/want to solve the problem any other way. Adoption, for example. Donor sperm. Something else. Why was it necessary to create such problems, taking pieces of Mefisto´s soul, and thereby laying a huge dynamite under her family?

Let's say, our Wanda goes with a different vector, without the insane desire of a crazy momma-wannabe, but the children are still demonic? Playing with Mephisto's shadow isn't for nothing, is it?

I can't help but notice that Wanda's pregnancy in the comics also appeared suddenly. I might have forgotten something, because I was laughing so hard while reading the pages, but it was like this, the quotes are not accurate.

Wanda: I WANT A REAL FAMILY WITH KIDS. WANTWANTWANT!

The magic poof!

And Wanda is on the eve of her confinement. I don't remember Vision's reaction...

Our Vision was as surprised as I was, because in normal life, it does not happen, even if you are a synthesoid (five points to Marvel for mentioning this term! Finally! We waited for the long time!). I felt like I was watching the Sims with their woohoo and three-day pregnancy. It was all very fast, and I couldn't even blink. I didn't like that part, honestly. Something is missing. I also don't like that Marvel didn't focus much on Wanda and Vision, and instead our characters existed for fast-paced development, plot tools for introducing the twins, and Geraldine-Monica's "deportation" beyond the bubble. In other words, long periods of time are reduced to the limit.

A small question. The child is already doing magic (and Wanda calmly allows)?

Creepy moment. Let's talk about Vision again.

I thought that my screen glitched or the cat walked on the keyboard, so I didn't notice... Wanda, we have a real problem... And a new question. In the opinion for the first two series, I posted a list of the questions and now it gonna be expanded. We're still walking in the fog.

So... Vision is an illusion? Highly likely! Who would give us a resurrected Vision, right? Marvel won't let us be happy, and neither will Wanda.-_-

But if Vision was an illusion, controlled, a Wanda's puppet, then why did he even begin to think about what was happening, to understand that something was happening? Why? And how many times has this actually happened, off-screen? Fic-writers, let's go! And I'm probably going with you.

I also remember Vision's face when their dinner went wrong. So what are you, Vision? And by the way, how much control do you have? The feelings are your own, aren't they? Yes, Marvel?! Don't mess with me here. Don't make the shippers angry, they're already traumatized by the comic book versions of Wanda and Vision.

A lyrical digression.

There is one more thing that I want to touch, connected with all above. A certain Twitter user previously guessed or knew the names by which Wanda and Vision will be in the series. Before the release of the series, I ask you to note. I'm talking about Illusion and Glamour. Back then no one took it seriously, but after the release of episodes, the account began to be studied almost under a microscope. There is a long history with the renaming of acc, creating new acc with the same info, it's not the point. The same acc wrote that what we see isn't Vision, but Wonder Man, who thinks he is Vision..

I have a confession. I can't stand Wonder Man and everything that goes with him, including his shenanigans with Wanda. I just hate this stuff. Who doesn't know: Wonder Man and Vision have a connection in the comics, Wonder Man's brainwaves formed the basis of Vision's, correct me if I am wrong. So, technically, they're kind of brothers. Difficult, you may say? It's comics, kids! In short, if it really turns out to be so — I will consider it a personal insult. I'm sorry, but I love Vision and I watch the show with him, not with someone else.

Also, in general, Marvel owed us one moment, and it's good if they remembered about it and give a serial explanation: for all the years of Endgame, you did not try to do anything with the Vision's body? Where is it? In what condition? Tony forgot and didn't remember Vision?

Screw it!

Okay, okay, I've calmed down. I return to the subject and stop burning with righteous anger.

Illusion or not, we know from the trailers that Vision will posibly receive an information about his death. I see how it can go: It turns out that Vision learns the truth, Wanda is not there to stop him, he decides to find out everything from Wanda, but the moment is not very good, because the agents of S. W. O. R. D doing their job, and Wanda is already in the berserk mode... And it ends badly.

Creepy moment. A sad moment. Give Wanda some cocoa and a warm blanket. Please.

That was full of pain. Wanda could try and run from her memories, or force herself to forget them, but they are coming back with suspicious questions from a stranger, with jewelry on someone's neck. Wanda's upset, the neighbors ara glitching (to Vision´s concern), and under the iceberg of family life with two newborns and a lullaby for them, there are the abyss, hiding... Creepy and painful.

I am kinda dissaponted with the 3rd episode, but still enjoyed some moments and still want to save Wanda from this darkness.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

NEVER WAS THERE A TALE OF MORE WOE, THAN THAT OF OUR JEANNE AND FANGDADDIO 😭😭😭

But alas, I will relay what I read back in the day to the best of my abilities! Spoilers for the end of Jeanne’s route under the cut, rated E (for everyone) for maximum uwus (and M for angst bc F U C K):

Okay so basically Jeanne’s route goes a lot like most of the routes, and when MC gets attacked (by the rival vampire turned by Vlad) our eyepatched wonder is not happy about it. He storms over to Comte’s room and demands to have his questions answered. Comte notes how deathly serious he is and breezes past the enmity, telling him to go ahead and ask whatever he needs to. Jeanne threatens to kill Comte if it turns out that he’s lying about anything from this point forward. To which Comte (being a little shit), replies that he literally can’t die so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Jeanne tells him he doesn’t care what it takes; he’ll rend him apart to the tiniest shred over and over and over again--even if it takes them both to the other side to accomplish it. Comte concedes and says “very well; if I lie, you’re welcome to try.” Jeanne finally asks if Comte has made a revival pact with anyone new. Comte is genuinely confused and confesses that he hasn’t--that he has no idea who Jeanne is talking about. “What ‘comrade in arms’???” Jeanne seems to sense that Comte is responding in earnest (but is also confused bc like, then who the fuck else turned the guy??? WHO IS THE THREAT I MUST STAB)

Jeanne admits that MC was attacked and you can feel the change in gravity in milliseconds. Comte starts asking where she is and if she’s okay, and Jeanne explains that she’s still in the mansion and she’s fine. Jeanne then asks if Shakespeare has the ability to turn people like he does, and Comte is bewildered to put it mildly. He’s like ??????? Where is this coming from, of course he doesn’t???? I turned him myself, he’s a lesser vampire--he doesn’t have that ability???? In a moment of sheer livid impatience, Jeanne grabs Comte by the lapels and screams “Then who can!?!?!?!” Comte stares at him and admits that there are only two people that he is aware of who can accomplish such a thing, himself and someone else. They hear a loud crash and they run to the dining room, only to find a window smashed, Mozart wounded, and MC gone. Comte’s furious sprite appears, and he asks Jeanne to look after MC, he has something to take care of. Isaac asks him where on earth he’s going, and he reveals that he’s going to Will’s house before storming out.

Poor Shakespeare faces the brunt of Comte’s rage--though I get the feeling, knowing now that Shakespeare is Vlad’s puppet--that the threat was meant more for Vlad than for Shakey boy. Comte goes to Shakey’s place and Shakespeare offers to put on tea or wine, says it’s strange for him to appear so late. Comte tells him not to bother, since he isn’t here to exchange pleasantries. Shakespeare seems p shocked given Comte isn’t usually one to be so direct or terse, and when Comte walks in he backs Shakespeare into the wall step. By step. By step. He asks him if he was involved in the harm done to MC, and Shakespeare’s like “Yeah lol what’s it to you.” And when their shoes are nearly touching, Comte grabs him by the throat and lifts him off the ground. He tells Shakespeare that if this goes on, he won’t show any mercy: "To those that would harm a single member of my house, I will hunt them to the ends of the earth. To the very depths of hell." The narration notes that he lets go of whatever dampens his pureblood aura and nearly suffocates Shakespeare with his raw intensity and power, before putting him down again and saying “That’s all I have to say. I have no more questions for you.” Comte walks right back out, slamming the door while Shakespeare is on the floor coughing. 

So, needless to say, things are hella rocky between Comte and Jeanne throughout the better part of the route. But given the odd dichotomy of Comte’s reactions (his complete acceptance of Jeanne’s fury versus his own anger being directed at Vlad), it definitely felt like there was more there. Everything finally comes full circle at the end when Comte gathers everyone inside the dining room to explain precisely what happened (Vlad, etc. I’m assuming) and asks everyone to take proper precautions moving forward: "I'll take steps to make sure this never happens again. But if we are faced with a similar situation, know that I am prepared to protect you all with every fiber of my being." He deems secrecy a moot point given this incident, and just wants everyone to be safe and ask for help should they need it in the future. 

MC notes that he doesn’t have his usual placid demeanor; he’s incredibly serious and grave. She’s like “Oh boy some serious shit went down huh...but if anything, I feel like it’s only made us have more faith in his ability to protect us c:” AND HERE IS WHERE THE BIG HURT HAPPENS KIDS GET YOUR TISSUES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jeanne: "...Alright. I will trust in your words. But can I ask just one thing?” Comte: “Yes, Jeanne?” Jeanne: "You know I always hated you, I truly believed you revived me against my will for a long time." Comte just sorta deflates, but he doesn’t say anything (MY POOR BABIE) Jeanne: "But, is that really the case? Did I want to live on, away from that pyre...?" [There was a long silence.] Comte: “...That day, when I appeared, you screamed desperately 'Why must I die here. Whether it be God or the devil, someone make use of me!'” Important note: Jeanne tells MC that he is able to recall thinking that, but he has no acute recollection of saying it; this is the moment at which he lost consciousness. MC: [;-; No matter how hard he tried to stifle it, it (his deep wish to live) came out all the same...] I wasn’t able to transcribe it, but Comte essentially tells him that he tried to ask Jeanne, but he was already barely hanging on--there was no way he could get a proper answer. (This is highly plausible given we know that Jeanne was incarcerated by the Inquisition, tortured, and starved before he was tied to that pyre--it was a miracle he lasted that long. He didn’t even have the strength to move/struggle from where he was tied). Comte goes on to say that Jeanne was pissed to shit when he woke up and there was little he could do to alleviate that (I mean given he was waiting for the sweet release of death it makes sense but also N O ;-;). For a while Jeanne just stares at him before asking: Jeanne: “...Why? Why didn’t you tell me after all this time?” Comte: "Because I thought it was okay if you berated me a little." Jeanne (vine voice: AMERICA EXPLAIN): ?????????? Comte: "Despite being alive...you looked dead to the world ever since the day we met. No matter how hard I tried or whatever I did, I couldn't seem to change that. But...the only emotion I seemed to be able to draw out of you was hate. If hatred was the only thing that could move you, I figured I'd take on that role. Better to see you express something than to see you lifeless beyond any glimmer of hope or change." Jeanne: "Why....why would you go that far?? Why did you bother? I don't...understand" BECAUSE HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE AND HE LOVES YOU I’M SOBBING ALL OVER AGAIN OKAY DEEP BREATHS THE SHOW MUST GO ON MINNIE Comte: "Because I'm the one that revived you...because to me, you're all my precious family." Jeanne: "...............................................................I...I'm sorry" AND JEANNE HANGS HIS HEAD WAAAAAAAAAAAH Comte’s brows rise: “...Jeanne?” Jeanne: "I know an apology doesn't forgive everything I did/said. But I don't know how else to make amends"

It goes on to show them all making amends, and while Jeanne can sometimes be like “ughghhghgh d a d stop nagging I’m fINE” he secretly really loves the guy. In Jeanne’s third bday story he’s literally like [Comte’s a weirdo but I see now that that's just how he cares abt me. He's not just worldly, he's a good guy. c: I just don’t care abt whatever he’s going on abt rn]

So like full disclosure before Jeanne’s route I still loved Comte but I really didn’t know much about him beyond the “eccentric nobleman persona.” Granted we definitely get glimpses into who he really is, but this was a sizeable breakthrough. (And probably a strong allusion to the release of Comte’s MS soon after.) That being said, there were so many things said here that just absolutely shattered my heart. 

Because here’s the thing. I have no qualms with Comte’s wish to be a dad--or even to revive the men, for that matter. If it makes him happy and he intends to take care of them reasonably well, then who am I to criticize him? (Fun fact: Leonardo essentially says the same exact thing; he’s more against it than I am because of the whole turning humans, but he doesn’t necessarily vilify Comte because he knows his intentions are good. And if everyone’s happy with it, what can he say?) But the fact that Comte handles their issues with so much patience and maturity...I’m in love???? There is sincerely nothing sexier than this for me. He’s fully aware that Jeanne was treated like absolute shit by the people he tried to protect, that he never really got to live for himself a single day in his life--never knew a moment’s peace, joy, or appreciation. He tries everything he can think of to get Jeanne to maybe not hate being alive as much, but fails at every turn. He still refuses to give up on the guy despite the less than ideal state of things, and decides that if Jeanne needs an enemy to survive--he will be that enemy. He doesn’t care that the guy he’s trying to help would skewer him the second he had his back turned (Jeanne pls this was a new suit couldn’t this wait). He takes full responsibility for deciding to turn him; knows that since he erred on the side of caution, it’s up to him to offer a life that’s worth keeping/staying alive for. He doesn’t belittle Jeanne’s plight for a moment, never deems him stupid or shortsighted. He’s able to understand that in the wake of so much pain and loss, of course Jeanne might not notice the finer points of Comte’s attempts to cheer him up. Even if it pains him to be on negative terms (HE LOVES HIS BOY HE DOESN’T WANT TO FIGHT) he will fully accept it if it brings Jeanne peace, if it helps Jeanne get to a place where he can begin to accept the affection he wants to offer.

And THAT’S what kills me, kids. Four hundred years, and Comte fucking LEARNED something. He is perceptive to uncanny degrees, and never fails to read a room in milliseconds; not only does he pick up on how people feel, he responds with appropriate, gentle measures. What I love so much about Comte is that he knows full well that genius does not come without its price. You could be the smartest person on earth, the most talented, whatever you choose to call it, but it will invite no shortage of hatred from other people, no shortage of misunderstanding and disdain and violence. If people don’t go mad with power, they are destroyed by the very places that birthed them. As such, the last thing he wants to do is put them under more pressure, or force them to do things against their will; he just wants to give them a chance to live beyond such fickle and hostile circumstances. And he takes this seriously, this isn’t remotely a whim for him despite all evidence to the contrary. He gets that healing takes time, and as much as he wants everyone to be happy he’s more than willing to give them space/resources to figure it out. Like. He is the father everybody DREAMS they had (if they didn’t already have a good one) and the fact that I can’t tell him what a wonderful job he’s doing is killing me on all levels INCLUDING physical.

And I just?????? Jeanne’s palpable remorse when he finds out????? And Comte’s surprise???????? Like Comte wasn’t necessarily expecting that level of apology, he knew he was taking a gamble and he was ready to do whatever he had to, he wasn’t intending to hold it against his boy. But Jeanne just has such a tender and well-meaning heart (no matter how much he struggles to express it) that regret was inevitable. There’s just so much love in that moment, in Comte’s capacity to forgive and take on so much of poor Jeanne’s unhappiness, and Jeanne’s fully ability to admit he was misguided, lower his head, and apologize. THEY JUST GET ME BLUBBERING LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD OKAY THEY ARE BOTH SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND I HURT

Tl;dr: JEANNE’S ROUTE SHOT ME FORTY-SEVEN TIMES IN THE CHEST AND LEFT ME PINING FOR COMTE MORE THAN EVER BEFORE OTL

Also a bonus, because it only just occurred to me (spoilers from the end of Comte’s route):

THEY HAVE A LEGIT REVERSAL AT THE END OF COMTE’S ROUTE???? Comte once again gathers everyone to reveal Vlad’s identity and intentions, and he apologizes for keeping it from everyone, lowering his head. He’s more than ready to face everyone’s ire for keeping secrets, but everyone’s just like “dad pls lift your head it’s okay, we’re just glad we can help you now--you don’t have to carry it all on your own.” AND IT IS IN FACT, JEANNE, THAT ALSO SAYS “No need to bow like that Comte, aren't you the one always saying we're family?" AND WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS IN A PUDDLE OF TEARS?????? I WILL NEVER BE OKAY. POOR COMTE WAS SO MOVED AND MY HEART CAN’T TAKE HAVING THIS KNOWLEDGE WHERE’S MY HANKIE. JEANNE. BEING THE ONE. TO SAY. “Aren’t we family?” WHEN HEARING HOW HARD COMTE WAS WORKING TO PROTECT THEM, BC HE 100% IDENTIFIES WITH THE STRUGGLE OF LOOKING AFTER PEOPLE THAT DON’T KNOW/CARE THAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS THE SACRIFICE FOR THEIR PEACE OF MIND. I--

WHAT IS IT THAT JEANNE AND COMTE SHARE TO THE CORE, SO MUCH THAT JEANNE WOULD NEED NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO CHANGE HIS MIND AFTER YEARS OF BITTER DISDAIN???????? THEIR CAPACITY FOR DEVOTION, THEIR EASY WILLINGNESS TO SACRIFICE ANYTHING TO PROTECT A LIFE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS EPIPHANY IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

I’m crying rn I just: Comte: !!!!!!! Somebody who gets it!!! :DDD Jeanne: die. Comte:  Comte: ;-; understandable have a nice day

[roughrudesea]

top 5 Shakespeare monologues?

I DESERVE THIS 😤

1. Richard II 3.2

No matter where; of comfort no man speak: Let’s talk of graves, of worms, and epitaphs; Make dust our paper and with rainy eyes Write sorrow on the bosom of the earth, Let’s choose executors and talk of wills: And yet not so, for what can we bequeath Save our deposed bodies to the ground? Our lands, our lives and all are Bolingbroke’s, And nothing can we call our own but death And that small model of the barren earth Which serves as paste and cover to our bones. For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground And tell sad stories of the death of kings; How some have been deposed; some slain in war, Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed; Some poison’d by their wives: some sleeping kill’d; All murder’d: for within the hollow crown That rounds the mortal temples of a king Keeps Death his court and there the antic sits, Scoffing his state and grinning at his pomp, Allowing him a breath, a little scene, To monarchize, be fear’d and kill with looks, Infusing him with self and vain conceit, As if this flesh which walls about our life, Were brass impregnable, and humour’d thus Comes at the last and with a little pin Bores through his castle wall, and farewell king! Cover your heads and mock not flesh and blood With solemn reverence: throw away respect, Tradition, form and ceremonious duty, For you have but mistook me all this while: I live with bread like you, feel want, Taste grief, need friends: subjected thus, How can you say to me, I am a king?

WHAT CAN I SAY. I heard a friend do this monologue in an acting class almost a decade ago and even with zero context, I thought about it for years. Finally reading the play only made me love it more. 

2. The Tempest 5.1

Ye elves of hills, brooks, standing lakes and groves, And ye that on the sands with printless foot Do chase the ebbing Neptune and do fly him When he comes back; you demi-puppets that By moonshine do the green sour ringlets make, Whereof the ewe not bites, and you whose pastime Is to make midnight mushrooms, that rejoice To hear the solemn curfew; by whose aid, Weak masters though ye be, I have bedimm'd The noontide sun, call'd forth the mutinous winds, And 'twixt the green sea and the azured vault Set roaring war: to the dread rattling thunder Have I given fire and rifted Jove's stout oak With his own bolt; the strong-based promontory Have I made shake and by the spurs pluck'd up The pine and cedar: graves at my command Have waked their sleepers, oped, and let 'em forth By my so potent art. But this rough magic I here abjure, and, when I have required Some heavenly music, which even now I do, To work mine end upon their senses that This airy charm is for, I'll break my staff, Bury it certain fathoms in the earth, And deeper than did ever plummet sound I'll drown my book.

A solemn air and the best comforter To an unsettled fancy cure thy brains, Now useless, boil'd within thy skull! There stand, For you are spell-stopp'd. Holy Gonzalo, honourable man, Mine eyes, even sociable to the show of thine, Fall fellowly drops. The charm dissolves apace, And as the morning steals upon the night, Melting the darkness, so their rising senses Begin to chase the ignorant fumes that mantle Their clearer reason. O good Gonzalo, My true preserver, and a loyal sir To him you follow'st! I will pay thy graces Home both in word and deed. Most cruelly Didst thou, Alonso, use me and my daughter: Thy brother was a furtherer in the act. Thou art pinch'd fort now, Sebastian. Flesh and blood, You, brother mine, that entertain'd ambition, Expell'd remorse and nature; who, with Sebastian, Whose inward pinches therefore are most strong, Would here have kill'd your king; I do forgive thee, Unnatural though thou art. Their understanding Begins to swell, and the approaching tide Will shortly fill the reasonable shore That now lies foul and muddy. Not one of them That yet looks on me, or would know me Ariel, Fetch me the hat and rapier in my cell: I will discase me, and myself present As I was sometime Milan: quickly, spirit; Thou shalt ere long be free.

I’m honestly shocking myself slightly by not listing “We are such stuff,” but even thinking about this part of the play gives me chills. I love the journey Prospero goes on in this: watching him give up his magic and decide to forgive his former enemies is so engaging--and the language is completely unmatched.

3. The Tempest 4.1

You do look, my son, in a moved sort, As if you were dismay'd: be cheerful, sir. Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits and Are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep. Sir, I am vex'd; Bear with my weakness; my, brain is troubled: Be not disturb'd with my infirmity: If you be pleased, retire into my cell And there repose: a turn or two I'll walk, To still my beating mind.

Okay I lied -- had to include “We are such stuff.” How could I not? I’m a Tempest and a Prospero stan. How could I NOT list this one when it is like *THE* iconic monologue?

4. Hamlet, 3.3

O, my offense is rank it smells to heaven; It hath the primal eldest curse upon't, A brother's murder. Pray can I not, Though inclination be as sharp as will: My stronger guilt defeats my strong intent; And, like a man to double business bound, I stand in pause where I shall first begin, And both neglect. What if this cursed hand Were thicker than itself with brother's blood, Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens To wash it white as snow? Whereto serves mercy But to confront the visage of offense? And what's in prayer but this two-fold force, To be forestalled ere we come to fall, Or pardon'd being down? Then I'll look up; My fault is past. But, O, what form of prayer Can serve my turn? 'Forgive me my foul murder'? That cannot be; since I am still possess'd Of those effects for which I did the murder, My crown, mine own ambition and my queen. May one be pardon'd and retain the offense? In the corrupted currents of this world Offense's gilded hand may shove by justice, And oft 'tis seen the wicked prize itself Buys out the law: but 'tis not so above; There is no shuffling, there the action lies In his true nature; and we ourselves compell'd, Even to the teeth and forehead of our faults, To give in evidence. What then? what rests? Try what repentance can: what can it not? Yet what can it when one can not repent? O wretched state! O bosom black as death! O limed soul, that, struggling to be free, Art more engaged! Help, angels! Make assay! Bow, stubborn knees; and, heart with strings of steel, Be soft as sinews of the newborn babe! All may be well.

3.3 is my favorite scene in Hamlet. I LOVE the tableau of Claudius praying, and Hamlet right behind him, ready to strike. Hamlet the character obviously has some incredible speeches, but this Claudius monologue is the one that always stands out to me: it is such a juicy glimpse into his inner psyche that is more carefully guarded for the rest of the play, and I love this moment (however brief) of unraveling.

5. Macbeth 5.5

She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word. To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day To the last syllable of recorded time, And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

Forgive me for being so basic but I would really be lying to myself if I didn’t list this. Although this one, more than others, really depends on the actor. I have seen some renditions of this monologue I really do not jive with, but when it’s done well, it is top tier. 

[pedros-mustache-main]

a thing for hermia

summary: though she be but little, she is fierce—and hopelessly in love.

word count: 1.5k+ (she a baby)

warnings: language, innuendo  

a/n: just wanna be upfront and say i basically got the idea for this from a blurb by the lovely @almightygwil. she said i could role with it, so this happened. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also you can easily find the scene mentioned in the fic on youtube. it’s one of my favs, hence why i rambled on about it for too long. what’s italicized is shakespeare’s.

“curtain rises in ten, ladies!” richard, stage manager extraordinaire and cast wrangler, sticks his head in the door of your dressing room, tapping his knuckles against the wall. his face is flushed with stress, and the headset on his shoulders is askew. “best be ready soon.”

your cast mate, olive, winks at the middle-aged, balding, pudgy man, blush container poised halfway between her chest and her face. “i’m always ready for you, richard, dear,” she coos, to which richard, bless him, blushes and ducks out the door.

you slide your gaze to her reflection in the mirror. “you mustn’t tease him so. one day he might burst.”

olive dabs a bit of chapstick on her lips before standing. she secures her gown with a final pin and batts her eyelashes coyly. “richard is lovely and i mean every word i say. if he wants me, he can come have me.”

rising from your chair, you tug on your extensions. opening night had gone smoothly, no locks tugged out of place, but one could never be too certain. it was only a week in to the show’s run, but still you worried the hairpiece would fall off onstage. your face burned with embarrassment at the mere thought.

“god, if only my hair were this thick,” you say.

“and if only i had a million pounds. here, you’ve got some tool loose.” olive moves to stand behind you and adjust the tool beneath your dress. she meets your eyes over your shoulder, and you internally brace yourself. you know that glint; it’s nothing but trouble.

“what?” you ask, eyebrow lifted. “what is it?”

“your boyfriend,” she starts. her voice trails off as she turns her back, gathering a last minute glance at her script.

“joe?”

“he hasn’t come yet has he?”

you shake your head and pull on your ballet flats. “no. he’s in new york. i think he’ll be able to come next month.”

“you’re not angry? that he couldn’t make opening night?”

shrugging, you follow her into the hall. there’s a buzz here, as there always is. it settles in your veins like a drug, and soon you can’t help the ridiculous smile painted across your face. you dodge a member of the crew, arms laden with fake foliage and a face plastered in fear. 

“he’s busy, olive,” you say, rounding the corner. “london is thousands of miles from new york, and i think he had an important meeting that night. besides, being angry about something that’s over and done is pointless. he’ll come when he can and it will still be special.”

olive looks at you with disgust. “ugh,” she groans. “[y/n], you’re a saint and it sickens me. well, whatever he’s like, he doesn’t deserve you. if my boyfriend missed my first opening night on the west end—in a shakespeare play, no less—i’d chop his dick off.”

“guess i’ll be glad you don’t have a boyfriend then.”

olive slaps your shoulder. “uh! low blow!”

“there’s always time to butter richard up a bit more.”

before olive can respond, your director takes her place atop an overturned milk crate. she holds up her hands, and the cast and crew gathered around fall quiet. victoria is one of the youngest women to ever direct a version of ‘a midsummer night’s dream’ on the west end, and you couldn’t be more proud of being her hermia. you couldn’t be more proud of those around you. really, the tears that consistently well in your eyes when you look around the room and marvel at all you’ve accomplished are ridiculous. but you can’t help it.

five minutes before curtain is the same every night: a pep talk from victoria, a group huddle, whispered words of affection and good wishes. then all is silent. like well-oiled cogs in a machine, each person moves about their business, working for the good of the group and the good of the show. tonight is no different, and the surge of excitement you feel before stepping out on stage for the first time tingles from your head to your feet.

olive catches your arm seconds before you make your entrance. “break a leg,” she whispers, her fingers squeezing your elbow. that same glint—the one that spells trouble—lights her eyes, but you don’t have time to process it, wonder what’s gotten into her, before whisking onto the stage.

your favorite scene: act three, scene two.

you suppose it’s the nerd in you, the way you chomp at the bit to reach this scene each night. it might be the dialogue, the iconic lines and quick back and forth between your costars, that gets you so riled up. or maybe it’s simply the energy of being on stage as a group—yourself, olive, matthew, and nick—and feeding off one another’s frenzied energy. the physicality of the scene, too... you could ramble for days.

tonight, the energy is heightened tenfold. you can’t be sure, but you think olive is the one pushing things higher. there’s an unmistakable excitement about her you rarely see, and you rise to meet the challenge, careful to keep your words from fumbling together.

“O me! you juggler! you canker-blossom! You thief of love! what, have you come by night and stolen my love's heart from him?” tiny droplets of spit fly from your mouth as you speak, circling olive where she stands.

her eyes narrow, though she remains still. “Fine, i'faith! Have you no modesty, no maiden shame, no touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear impatient answers from my gentle tongue? Fie, fie! you counterfeit, you puppet, you!”

straightening, you face the audience, face pulled blank in shock. “Puppet? why so?” in a moment you keep for yourself, you scan the crowd, allowing your words to sink in before you continue. your eyes trip over a familiar face, one you know dearly but can’t place in the second you have to pause. 

twisting back to olive, you say, “Ay, that way goes the game. Now I perceive that she hath made compare between our statures; she hath urged her height; and with her personage, her tall personage, her height, forsooth, she hath prevail'd with him.”

then it clicks.

oh my god—joe!

the thought—the realization that he’s here, in a poorly padded chair, watching your every move, your every word—steals the next lines from your mouth. you want to turn, to smile at him and wave like a giddy schoolgirl, but you can’t. 

so you shake yourself free, well-aware that you’ve taken too many seconds to continue, and surge forward, struggling to keep your smile at bay.

“And are you grown so high in his esteem; because I am so dwarfish and so low? How low am I, thou painted maypole? speak; how low am I? I am not yet so low but that my nails can reach unto thine eyes.”

during curtain call, you squeeze olive’s hand hard and lean toward her ear. “you knew,” you whisper. “that he’d be here.”

she says nothing, only smiles and waves toward the crowd, her hand squeezing yours back.

it’s all you can do to not run to your dressing room once the curtain has fallen. there’s things to do, things to put away, before you can meet joe in the theatre, and your blood pumps hard with adrenaline. throwing open the door to your room, you pull the straps of your gown off your shoulders, eager to work as quickly as possible.

“whoa, whoa, whoa. i mean, i’m all for it, but wouldn’t a hello be nice first?”

squeaking, you jump, holding the top of your dress against your chest. joe sits on the ratty armchair in the corner, a bouquet of roses in hand, and an infuriating smirk on his face. 

unbidden, tears pool in your eyes. “i fucking hate you,” you say, crossing the floor to swat his chest. he laughs and grabs your waist, drawing you to his lap before you can wiggle away. holding his face in your hands, you whisper, “why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“i wanted it to be a surprise.”

“well, it worked! i nearly forget all my lines when i saw you.”

his smirk widens. “i thought i caught that.” squeezing your hip, he brushes a lock of hair away from your face. “i’m really proud of you. you were incredible.”

the blush that rises to your cheeks is embarrassing, but you hold his gaze despite it. “thanks.”

“do i get anything special for coming all this way and not spoiling the surprise?”

you know what he’s hinting at, and by george, you’d do it right here right now, but the hallway is too busy and someone is bound to hear you. so you lean forward and kiss him softly, moving your lips over his in the way he likes, enough to tease.

“maybe later,” you breathe, pulling away. he looks at you through hooded eyes, dark with desire, and it sends a thrill to your stomach. “first i want you to meet everyone.”

[myvoiceourheartbeat]

Nagiko’s Relationship with other servants (Pt 1)

 What a sociable gal! This will be long because of that so I’ve decided to do the writing servants first. Unfortunately shipping bias means I’ll also comment on thoughts on ship.

Writers in General: Given Caesar’s voiceline, it appears there’s some sort of writing club that meets regularly under which Nagiko counts under. (In particular this group is Shakespeare, Hans, Caesar, Murasaki and Nagiko). So she’s evidently showing up and not unwanted either. I could see her providing editorial critique even if she doesn’t present any pieces herself. Murasaki’s much more sharp personality only tends to come out around Nagiko so I think the other writers would also be happy if this led to the more sharp tongued not afraid to talk smack parts of Murasaki as well when it comes to critiques.

Murasaki: I’ve talked about this enough.

Hans: Hans line for her (and Murasaki) indicate he’s “envious of their friendship” and how they give each other a boost while referencing their nicknames. Seems they’re on quite friendly terms so he’s less likely griefed by Nagiko’s extrovert personality than Murasaki is. I’d presume his human observation skill let’s him see past both Nagiko and Murasaki’s presented relationship/personalities as well which aids this. Unfortunately that will not save him from likely being carried around like Kama was last event.

Shakespeare: I bet he likes her for the sheer amount of chaos she causes but I imagine in any sort of Kaonagi scenario he’d get a lot of glee from Murasaki’s ~tragic onesided suffering~.  This I could see actually genuinely annoying Nagiko. On a surface level they’d be quite friendly and  but if Shakespeare steps out of line, she will not hesistate.

Scheherazade: I think Scheherazade and Nagiko would be like the ultimate Chaldea story time combo. Ai Farouz gives Nagiko quite the vocal range so she’d probably do silly voices with puppets and even if Nagiko ends up changing the story to another direction I think that’d only entertain Scheherazade. Outside of that though, Nagiko’s got a lot of energy and Scheherazade is grateful that energy is spent mainly on Murasaki rather than her.

Caesar: I think if Caesar ever made even a joking pass at Nagiko, that’d be the closest you’d see to the [Sei Shounagon voice] It sucks when the dude you’re seeing can’t even get ready in the morning fast enough before it gets awkward or the famous poem included in the collection where she’s like I’m not meeting you Yukinari. She’d make a witty comeback and people would laugh and that’d be the first and last time Caesar flirted with her. (Caesar would take it in stride though and laugh as well because he strikes me as the guy who likes that kind of back and forth). I could see him try to bait out the brilliant/sharp Sei Shounagon from her. If KaoNagi was dating he’d probably be like GF appreciation club with Nagiko in the writers group... not that it’d stop him from complimenting Murasaki’s appearance.

Bonus:

Izumi Shikibu: They’re apparently great pals given Izumichi shared Murasaki’s diary entry with Sei at some point. I bet Izumi would probably complain about her various lovers to Nagiko and Nagiko would be like wow totes relatable how could they do that sort of a friendship. She’d probably make a senpai finally noticed you joke at Murasaki though if Kaonagi was a thing. And just join the list of people that grief Murasaki just by existing.

[fantastica-daily]

Richard Elfman on his new bizarro comedy - Aliens, Clowns & Geeks

By Staci Layne Wilson

When it comes to cult science fiction movies, Forbidden Zone stands tall. Richard Elfman's 1980 Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo vehicle was a one-of-a-kind film zooming down on a one-way street to a whacky conclusion that’s stayed in the minds of schlock cinema fans ever since. His latest film, Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is an equally wild and expressionistic indie featuring Austin Powers' Verne Troyer in his last role, promising that Aliens, Clowns & Geeks is the antidote to mainstream and a breakneck cure for the run-of-the-mill.

“I was fortunate to have my dream cast on this one, including Verne Troyer (Mini-Me) as my demonic clown emperor–his final film role,” says Elfman. “Our ninety-minute film has seventy-five minutes of driving music by my brother Danny (Elfman) and acclaimed animation composer, Ego Plum Guerrero. Along with Danny’s to-die-for clown and alien music, Ego added a Latin element with the band we play with, Mambo Demonico.” The score was composed by Danny Elfman, who wrote the theme song to The Simpsons, the music to The Nightmare Before Christmas and did the singing voice of Jack Skellington, and won six Saturn awards.

"Eddy Pine (Bodhi Elfman) is a jaded actor dealing with the cancellation of his series," reads the official synopsis. "To complicate matters, he wakes up with the key to the universe stuck up his ass. Apparently an alien Clown Emperor (Verne Troyer) is in hot pursuit of this, as are his rivals, the Green Aliens. Professor von Scheisenberg (French Stewart) and his comely Swedish assistants, the Svenson sisters (Rebecca Forsythe as Helga, Angeline-Rose Troy as Inga), come to Eddy’s aid. If only Eddy hadn’t fallen for Helga, and then the aliens manipulate his mind to confuse her with Inga! And when the mad little Clown Captain (Martin Klebba) steps on the gas and shifts his spaceship into fourth gear, all hell breaks loose.”

We had the opportunity to sit down with Richard to ask him about his movie.

Q. To what do you attribute your enduring interest in clowns? And why do you think they’re so fascinating to people in general?

As I’ve always said: “To be born a male redhead is to be born into a clown suit.” Hence my carrot-topped brother Danny and I have always had a fascination with clowns. Coupled with our wicked sense of humor and a love of the horror genre, it was an easy morph into thoughts of creepy clowns. Just like dolls and puppets—yes, I’m speaking Anabelle—clowns can have something “surreal” about them.  Bill Skarsgard’s Pennywise really nails it. And I laughed my head off at Killer Klowns From Outer Space. (And we have honk-honking shit-load of killer clowns in my new film).

Q. How did the idea for Aliens, Clowns & Geeks come about? Is it similar to The Forbidden Zone?

 Joined-at-the-hip. Yes. And no. Forbidden Zone is basically a surrealistic “human-cartoon” set to musical numbers. So I was working on Forbidden Zone 2, a thematic extension of FZ but on a much grander scale. I did a successful crowd-funder to develop the project, then, with the help of my producers, raised about half the budget. They asked me if we could do something quick (and cheaper) in the interim to keep the momentum going.

So I basically locked myself in my roof-top writing garret with a box of cigars and many bottles of whiskey and banged out my Geeks script over the next three weeks.

Geeks is utterly zany and music-driven, but it’s not a “singing musical” so to speak like FZ. It has surrealistic elements, thanks to my insane special effects department--and a little help from Hieronymus Bosch—but I would describe Geeks having cartoony elements rather than being a total “human cartoon” as FZ was…if that makes any sense. (And please don’t try!)

 Q. Tell us about the multiple roles played by your family – and do you have role as well? What was it like working with your family – any funny stories?

My son Bodhi Elfman—a serious dramatic actor with 100s of credits--did a great comic turn as Eddy, the lead; a bitter out of work actor who wakes up with the key to the universe stuck up his ass. He also played the ass-kissing clown (literally) on the space ship plus the green alien network executive who orders the destruction of Earth. My wife Anastasia played multiple roles, everything from a nun to a carny slut. She also danced and choreographed the cabaret burlesque numbers as well as played a clown…until she got sick from the chemicals inside the clown mask and had to throw up—after we got the shot, of course--committed trouper that she is. When I met Anastasia she was a ballet dancer with a “day job” at a horror fx shop. She can dance with a broken toe but seems to have developed a sensitivity to certain shop chemicals.

I played a clown as well and almost threw up from laughing. I must say Geeks was a fun show to work on (my greatest joy is creating a sense of fun) and the actors and crew had serious trouble keeping from laughing as I directed in insane clown attire. What a fucking visual!

And brother Danny—what can I say? As an independent (hence lower budget) film maker it helps when your little brother in Mozart.

Q. Tell us how you ran away and joined the circus.

Actually, The Grande Magic Circus--a French musical theatre company. 1971, I was twenty-one, visiting the Festival of New Theatre in Montreal. I ran into a scruffy Parisian street troupe. They had something though, a charisma, an élan, whatever-- it attracted me. Director Jérôme Savary needed a percussionist—et voila, that was me! I persuaded them to give me several minutes onstage at the festival doing my comedy/horror piece set to an Eric Satie’s Gnossienne. When I “killed” the pianist in a pool of blood the audience was shocked. And they loved it!

Then, back in California, I went to see Marcel Carne’s masterpiece Les Enfant de Paradise , a three hour film set in the Paris theatre scene of the 1830’s. I exited the theatre, stopped, turned around and went back in and saw it again.

A few months later I received a letter from Jerome. Peter Brook, famed director of London’s Royal Shakespeare Company was backing the Magic Circus in a large Paris theatre. Would I like to join them? Bloody hell!! Hence, I ran away and joined the “circus.”

Q. Tell us something about your time with the Magic Circus, how it influenced you and also how your brother Danny Elfman joined the show.

I might say that working with Jérôme Savary was perhaps my single greatest influence. The troupe had classically trained actors from the Comedie Francais as well as more Avant guard performers. Jerome was a genius, his material had a sense of Absurdism that really struck me. I would later develop this absurdism in my own fashion. Certainly with my own troupe, the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo (later Oingo Boingo). By the way, my film Forbidden Zone was essentially our Mystic Knights stage show set to film.

Danny—several days out of high school--showed up at my 5ème, Rue Descartes doorstep with his electric violin. The company violinist was from the Paris Opera. Jerome liked to improvise. The opera guy couldn’t deviate one note from the written score. I believe my brother is Mozart reincarnated. He could follow any improvisation and got the job and toured with us for the summer throughout France. He and I opened the show with him on violin, me on percussion—the first music Danny Elfman ever wrote.

Q. Any other interesting experiences that you and Danny had there?

We were in a Basque town near the Spanish border. If I may digress, I am four years Danny’s senior. I went to a high school in Crenshaw (Boyz in the Hood), Danny ended up at a school with no guns. I was a tough boxer. Danny might be described as a bespectacled science nerd. So it’s Friday night, the audience was really rowdy and restless. My “street sense” knew it was just a matter of time before the fights broke out. We had an Argentine fellow in the troupe, “Katshurro,” nicest fellow. Drunks in the audience picked up on his accent and shouted terrible Spanish insults about his mother. Katshurro stopped mid-performance, his eyes bugging out of head, and he dove right into the audience swinging away. All hell broke loose. Everyone was fighting, sets crashing down. Danny’s glasses got knocked off. Well, and not for the first time, I managed to get Danny out of trouble with both his glasses and violin intact.

Q. Tell us about the cast you assembled – which includes Verne Troyer in his final screen performance. What was he like? Who does he play in the film?

I really had my dream cast. Along with my son Bodhi we had lovely kung-fu kicking Rebecca Forsythe, versatile Angeline-Rose Troy who not only played Rebecca’s sexy Swedish sister, but donned prosthetics to play poor Eddy’s junkie/whore “Mom from Hell.”

Professor von Scheisenberg was played impeccable veteran French Stewart (Third Rock From the Sun). Another great vet was George Wendt (Cheers) as Father Mahoney. Six foot six comic Steve Agee (Sarah Silverman Show, Guardians of the Galaxy) played both a tough cross-dressing bar owner and a stuttering dufis in a chicken suit. Nic Novicki (Boardwalk Empire) played his nasty little-person boss. I was really blessed with a great ensemble to work with.

And, of course, Verne Troyer, our megalomaniac Clown Emperor. What a wonderful talent to work with! He was funny on set, insisted on doing things in spite of physical limitations and he gave us hilarious comic improvisations. Little body. Big spirit. I will certainly miss him.

Q. The music is by Danny and you also have great animation… please give us some details what it’s like to create worlds through music and manufactured imagery.

Danny, along with my band mate--award winning animation composer Ego Plum (Guerrero)—really gave it to us. Seventy-five minutes of music in a ninety-minute film. ♪ ♫ La, tee-da and a boom boom boom! ♪ ♫  Music is essential to everything I do—especially setting the tone of my films. I even play music before I start writing.

As soon as Danny saw our surrealistic Bosch dream sequence and goofy clown rocket ships he agreed to do the score…after he stopped laughing. I play percussion in a quirky Latin band, Mambo Demonico, led by Hollywood’s top tv animation composer, Ego Plum. He and Danny work with the same people, including Oingo Boingo lead guitarist Steve Bartek, who subsequently has done every one of Danny’s film arrangements. Steve and the original Oingo Boingo members all played on our sound track. I must brag that we do have great fucking music!

You know, Danny was a bespectacled science nerd growing up, basically stayed out of trouble. That was my department. Oddly, he wasn’t really into music. No bands, no concerts, no big music collection. Life is funny how things turned out. I showed him a rough cut of Geeks, he laughed his ass off and offered to do it. Yes, I’m very lucky to have “Mozart” as my little brother!

Q. Who is Aliens, Clowns & Geeks for? Do you think movies like this are more likely to find a mainstream audience?

Forbidden Zone may be a “cult” movie but it still plays all over the world--after forty years. Just this past month FZ played festivals in France and South Korea. Geeks is certainly not for everyone—no one falls in love then dies of cancer. But it will find an audience I am sure. Anyone who had fun with Killer Klowns From Outer Space, liked Rocky Horror, even What We Do in the Shadows in terms of a quirky, wicked sense of humor. I also think it will play well in mental asylums…it certainly shall send people there in any case.

Geeks doesn’t fit into the scheme of “modern films.” Actually, the shooting style and underlying three-act story structure harkens back to classic comedies (says the son of a former English teacher turned novelist). The trappings though, are insane and off-the-wall. You might say it’s just my own, goony creation. Love it or hate it, the humor is balls-out outrageous, definitely not for everyone--no one dies of cancer. Geeks is simply meant to be fun for essentially the genre audience.

Q. What’s your proudest moment associated with making the film?

Proudest moment? Maybe finally paying the actors. People say I’ve embraced the indie spirit. I don’t know how much I “embrace” it, so much as am fucked by it, having to work on such a modest budget. Although I’ve been a “hired gun” and directed scripts written by others, Geeks is really the first time since my 1980 Forbidden Zone that I’ve really done purely my own vision. Per John Waters, well, I’d hope he’d have something strong to drink and/or smoke and then laugh his ass off watching it! That’s what it was like creating the film: Drinking scotch and smoking cigars in my rooftop writing garret, laughing my ass off! The green aliens have a totally high-tech ship, except for the automotive steering wheel and four-on-the-floor to shift gears. For the clowns we went for an absurdly updated version of Flash Gordon. And when our tiny clown emperor takes possession of an earth body, he has little dummy of the earthling sitting in his lap, their heads connected by electrical wires. Absurd and ridiculous, and that’s my middle name.

Want to see a double feature of The Forbidden Zone and Aliens, Clowns & Geeks? You can! They will play at The Regency in L.A. as part of The Valley Film Festival on 1/30/21. Get tickets here.

Look for our review of Aliens, Clowns & Geeks here soon!