#she went on another tearful rant on how I'm never happy & how she only wants me to be happy all of the tripple fripple time

[f-p-studios]

fuck my life

[writingwithina]

Long Story Short, I Survived

Pairing : Charles leclerc x reader ; Max Verstappen x reader

Author's note: She's done and she's here. It was 4 a.m. here in India when I finished writing the story. I was gonna post it then but as I was proof reading, I realised I missed writing a scene. I could've written it then and posted it but I had a driving class at 7 so I had to sleep. Thank you for your patience and I hope you guys like this. My inbox is always open for you to pop in and tell me your thoughts or just rant about anything that's troubling you. As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading!

Content: Fluff and some angst.

Word Count: 3.9k words

Read part one of the story: I Miss You I'm Sorry

The hardest pill Y/n had to swallow was that no matter how good she was to Charles, no matter how much she loved him, he could and did turn his back on her and there was nothing she could do about it. She went home from the party, questioning everything. She thought back on every 'I love you', ' I miss you', ' 'You're my forever', she wondered if Charles had really meant these words. She spent a week in her bedroom, wallowing in her misery. She felt as if she had lost everything, as if Charles had ripped apart her life and she had no idea how to sew it back together. It was the worst feeling in the world, realising she didn't mean as much to Charles as she thought she did. It was amusing how easily he could break her heart. Perhaps happily ever afters only existed in fiction. Don't get her wrong , she knew relationships required work and there's no such thing as a happily ever after, not like in the movies anyway. For her, a happy ever after meant working through the differences, the problems together, putting equal efforts to make the relationship work. But her reality was different. It wasn't waking up in the arms of her love. It was a cold, lonely bed and a shattered heart. After re evaluating her relationship, her life, Y/n decided Charles really wasn't worth her tears. He wasn't worthy of her, not when he could so easily betray her. From now on, the only person she would live for is herself. She would learn to realise her own worth and she would be her own person. No more staying up late just for a call from your boyfriend which never came, no more prioritising him over you, no more false promises and certainly no more love and promises of togetherness. From now on she would only belong to herself.

—------------

Max had seen Y/n run out of the party. All he wanted to do was comfort her and hold her. Tell her she deserved better, that she deserved him but he knew that it wasn't the right time. The first time Max had seen you was at the Miami Grand Prix . The moment he laid his eyes on you, he was infatuated. He wanted nothing more than to be in Charles' place. He wanted to be the one calling you his. He wanted to love you, hold you, kiss you. He wanted to hear his name fall from your lips as he claimed you in every way. But it wasn't possible. Max kept his distance from you. The two of you shared the occasional greeting and that was that. Max admired you from afar. He thought he was being discreet but that was far from the truth. Everyone around him noticed how his eyes didn't leave you when you were in the paddock. Even Christian called him out on this, he advised him to confess his feelings to you but Max refrained. He was okay with appreciating you from a distance. After all, if you were meant to be his, fate would bring you together. If not, he would pray to the high heavens to grant him another life where he could be yours, where he could worship you.

A little part of Max was happy you had broken up with Charles. He wasn't gonna make a move on you right now but was glad that he would not be restricted by any relationship you were in. He wanted to give you space. He also wanted to come up with a plan to ask you in the best way possible. If he was really going to pursue you, he was going to do it right.

Five months passed before Max finally decided to make a move on you. He knew the coffee shop you frequented. He was gonna wait at the coffee shop for you and then "accidentally" bump into you. It was stupid, he was aware but he didn't know what else he could do. It wasn't like he could just come up to your house and ask you on a date. Max waited the entire day at the shop but you never came. To say he was disappointed would be an understatement. On his way out, he ran into Lewis.

" Lewis! Hi, what-uh what are you doing here? " Max sputtered

" Uh, I was just getting a coffee since it's a coffee shop and all, " Lewis mentioned.

" Oh, yeah. I'll- I'll see you around ", Max said a little too loudly, trying to escape.

" Max, wait! "

All Max wanted to do was go home and look at your social media accounts to see if you had mentioned going on a vacation. He didn't want to deal with Lewis right now. He was aware that Lewis knew you since you were a baby and he wasn't gonna discuss his infatuation with you with him.

" Uh yeah?

" You were waiting here for Y/n, weren't you? "

" Why would I do that"

" Because you've always liked her and this place is where she always gets her coffee from. I've never seen you here ever since you moved to Monaco. The only logical conclusion is that you were waiting for her so you could ask her out. " Lewis concluded.

Max couldn't understand if Lewis was upset or angry at him.

" Or maybe I just wanted a coffee? " Max lied.

" Don't bullshit me Max. "

" I- I'm not "

" I know you've always liked her. But she isn't staying here anymore. She moved to Milan. "

" Milan? Why? "

" She needed a fresh start. Look, I know you like her. If you want to ask her out, go for it. I'll warn you though, she might not say yes. She already got her heart broken once and I highly doubt she is willing to go through it again. She's changed a lot since November. "

Max wasn't surprised by that. He understood you would have your defenses up after getting your heart broken so badly. But that wasn't gonna deter him. He will do his damn best to get you to believe in love again. He was a man on a mission.

" So you've no problem with me asking her out? " Max questioned Lewis.

" No. You're both adults. She's like my little sister so of course I want to protect her. I hate Charles for what he did to her. But she's also her own person. She can make decisions for herself. Just don't hurt her any more. I don't think she is capable of getting her heart broken one more time. "

Max nodded his head. Lewis gave him your new address and wished him luck.

Max booked the earliest flight to Milan. He could've taken a train but he didn't want to waste anymore time. It was late at night when he landed in Milan. He booked a hotel near your house and told himself he would be at your doorstep bright and early in the morning.

—-------

It was nine in the morning on a Sunday when Y/n heard the doorbell ring. All she wanted to do was ignore the ringing and go back to bed. But something in her told her to get up and open the door. So she did exactly that. Surprise coated her face as she saw Max at her doorstep with a bouquet of Sunflowers in his hand. Out of all the people she could expect at her doorstep, Max certainly wasn't one of them.

" Max! Hi, what- what are you doing here? "

" Good morning Y/n. Can I come in? "

" Yeah, yeah, of course. " Y/n stepped away, letting Max inside her house.

" These are for you. I know sunflowers are your favourite ", uttered Max as he gave the bouquet of freshly picked sunflowers to her.

" Thanks. " Y/n walked over to the vase she had kept on her dining table and arranged the flowers. " Can I get you anything? Tea? Water? Coffee? A redbull? "

" Water is fine. "

" So, what brings you here Max? " Y/n questioned as she handed a glass of water to him.

" I- I'm not going to beat around the bush with this. I like you Y/n, I really really like you. I have since I first saw you at the Miami Grand Prix last year. I couldn't confess this to you back then because you were with Charles. I know you got your heart broken and I know my words don't mean anything to you right now but please try and believe me. "

" Max I don't- I don't know what to say. "

" Just one date. Go on just one date with me. If you don't want to go out with me after that, I'll respect your decision. But if you do find me worthy of your time, of you, I promise to love you, cherish you, worship you the way you deserve. I cannot promise that we'll never fight or that I won't hurt you or you won't hurt me. Relationships aren't always perfect. But what I can promise you is that I'll be by your side through every up and down. It would be us against the problems and not you versus me. Just give me one chance to prove myself to you. "

Y/n was awestruck. Max said all the words she wanted to hear and she hadn't even gone out with him yet. She wanted to yes, she so badly wanted to say yes but something was holding her back.

" I don't wanna get hurt again Max. Whatever happened to me and Charles broke me. It was extremely hard to piece myself back together again. I cannot do this all over again. "

" I promise you, I won't ever hurt you in the way Charles did. Let me prove myself to you , give me one chance. "

" One? "

" Just one. "

" Okay, I'll give you one chance. "

" Really? "

" Really. "

Max's happiness knew no bounds. Her dream girl had finally agreed to go on a date with him. His smile lit up his face. This felt even better than winning his second World Championship.

" Thank you Y/n, thank you. I promise you won't regret this decision. "

—--------

Their first date happened a week later. Y/n was clueless where Max was taking her. His only instruction was to dress comfortably. "Dress comfortably" could mean a lot of things. Y/n didn't know if she should wear sweats or something like a sundress. After much debating, she ultimately decided to wear a white sundress which had daisies printed on it. She left her hair down and wore a scrunchie on her wrist in case it got too hot. Max arrived at her doorstep at five o'clock in the evening. This time he brought a bouquet of daisies. He wore a simple white crew neck, faded blue jeans and paired it with a baby blue cardigan. He looked cozy and cuddly and incredibly handsome and cute. Y/n couldn't decide which adjective she would use to describe him. Max was the perfect gentleman. He opened the car door for her as they went towards the secret location Max still wouldn't disclose. He complimented her the entire time. He would constantly ask her questions about herself. Y/n was happy, for the first time in a long time, she was genuinely happy. Her cheeks hurt from smiling so much. She was pleasantly surprised by Max's dry humour. She didn't expect him to be so funny but he surprised her. The entire car ride was filled with laughter and anecdotes from the past. Y/n couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun with Charles. For a moment, she thought about that relationship again. When was the last time Charles had brought her flowers? When was the last time they had gone on a date? Their relationship before that "break" was a blur of fights and hurtful words. Now that Y/n saw that relationship from a new perspective, she realised just how much more invested she was in it than Charles. She couldn't believe she let herself be treated the way he did. But now, she was an entirely different person. She wouldn't let Max treat her the way Charles did. But something told her, call it an intuition or a gut feeling that Max would treat her with respect. That he would be as much a part of the relationship as she would be. Y/n was hopeful that this time life would reward her with happiness and the happily ever after she always wanted.

Max parked the car near a garden. He took a huge basket from the trunk of his car and a bedsheet.

" We're having a picnic? " Y/n couldn't control her gleeful voice. She freaking loved picnics. In her opinion, a picnic was the best way to get to know someone. Also you could tell a lot about a person from what they packed for a picnic. She was really glad Max had planned a picnic as their first date.

" Yeah. I hope that's okay. I didn't wanna have a boring dinner date. " Max replied, his voice laced with a hint of fear.

" It's more than okay Max. I love picnics. "

Max smiled at that. He mentally patted himself for making the right choice. They chose a secluded corner under a tree and spread the bedsheet. They talked about everything and nothing. Y/n told him about her childhood and why she thinks Rapunzel is the best Disney movie ever and Max told her about his interests apart from racing and how he is hoping to adopt a dog soon. They didn't realise four hours had passed. It felt as if they had been there for only thirty minutes.They packed up and left the park. On the way home, they got ice-cream and got into a debate on whether Mint Choc Chip is the superior flavour or good ole vanilla. Y/n argued it was Mint choc chip, Max argued it was Vanilla. (It's definitely a Mint choc chip. Anyone who argues otherwise is wrong.)

As they reached home, Max walked Y/n up to her door, gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and bid her good night. Y/n was a little disappointed that he didn't kiss her but knew it was the right decision to take it slow. When Max texted her the next day asking if she would be willing to go on another date with him, she replied she would be very mad if he didn't take her out again. And what was next? They went on many dates together. Sometimes they went for a walk near the neighbourhood or had cooking nights. Cooking nights mainly consisted of Y/n cooking and Max trying to distract her with kisses because Max couldn't cook even if his life depended on it. They had fun together, they were comfortable with each other. They could both sit in silence and Y/n would still say that she was having the time of her life. Whenever doubts slipped in her mind, Max would always remind her that he would always be there for her and that he would never let anything hurt her. Y/n concluded that saying yes to Max was the best decision she ever made.

—--

The first time Max confessed his love for her Y/n was asleep. She had a big meeting the next day and needed all the rest she could get. Max decided he would tell her tomorrow that he loved her. Three months is enough time before saying I Love You right? But Max couldn't tell her he loved her the first thing in the morning because by the time he woke up, Y/n had already left for the office. As he made breakfast for himself, his phone rang. His phone lit up with a picture of her he had taken on their third date. She was telling him about the new book she had started reading and how the protagonist was pissing her off while happily munching on some McDonald's fries. He picked the call and instead of being met with her calm voice, he heard her frantically saying something he couldn't understand.

"Snoepje, calm down. I can't understand what you're saying. "

" I forgot my files at home and my meeting starts in half an hour. Could you- can you please bring those files here? "

" Of course. Give me fifteen minutes. "

" They're kept on the table in the living room. Thank you so much honey!"

Max brought her the files and a scalding cup of coffee within the next 15 minutes. As soon as she saw him, she engulfed him in a big hug and thanked him profusely. They didn't get to talk much as Y/n had to leave immediately for the meeting. Max decided to wait for her. After all, it was the most important meeting that could benefit her in her career . The least he could do was be there for her.

The meeting went on for an hour. No sooner did Y/n see him than she wrapped her arms around him, breathed a deep sigh of relief and softly said, " I love you."

Max was stunned for a moment. Did he hear her correctly?

" Y/n, what did you just say? "

" I said I'm in love with you. I didn't plan for it to come out this way but you're here and I couldn't wait any longer to say those words. It's okay, you don't have to say them-"

Max abruptly cut her off with a kiss.

" You've no idea how long I've waited to hear you say those words. I'm in love with you too, Snoepje. I've been for the past six months. "

Y/n smiled softly and kissed him. She loved him and he loved her. What more could they ask for?

—--

They had been together for six months when they decided to let the public know about their relationship. Max was apprehensive. He didn't want her dealing with hate and public outrage just because she dated Charles before. Y/n assured him that she was ready, she wanted the world to know she was his and he was hers. They walked hand in hand at the Silverstone Grand Prix. As soon as the fans spotted them, they went wild. Some of them were incredibly ecstatic to see Y/n after such a long time while others questioned why she arrived at the paddock with Max. Rumors immediately started circulating around the paddock and on all social media platforms. But Y/n didn't care if anyone was slut-shaming her or calling her a homewrecker. She knew her reality. The race was going to begin in an hour and Max was doing some last minute check up in the car. She decided to walk around the paddock. A part of her had missed this, missed the adrenaline pumping through everyone's veins, missed the unadulterated excitement and people's love for this sport. She was waiting for the social media manager for Red Bull when Charles caught her. Y/n knew Charles was gonna be here but for some reason she hadn't expected to run into him. She expected to feel something, anything when she saw him. But she felt nothing , no anger or sadness coursed through her veins.

" Charles, hi. "

" How are you doing? "

" I'm fine. How are you? "

" I've seen better days. "

Y/n didn't know what to say .

" So you and Max, huh? " Charles said with an accusatory tone.

" Yeah, what about it? "

" Nothing. It's a little funny how you got together with him when it's even a year after our break up. "

" Are you serious right now? " Y/n fumed. " You're in no position to question my relationship with Max when you cheated on me. "

" I didn't cheat. We were on a break, " Charles defended.

" A break didn't mean we had broken up Charles. You told me you needed some time apart because it would be good for our relationship. It did not give you the permission to cheat. Were you ever gonna tell me if I hadn't found out at that party? "

" I was gonna tell you soon. I just didn't know how. I knew you would overreact like you're right now. "

" You've got some nerve Charles. Getting mad at your partner for cheating isn't an overreaction. If you really were over me, over us, you could've simply told me that. You didn't have to go and get in someone else's pants. I would have understood that your priorities changed or that I didn't make you happy anymore. You weren't the only person in that relationship. Why did you do it? "

" Do what? "

" Cheat? Why couldn't you just tell me you wanted to break up?"

" I-I don't know. I was just afraid of hurting you. But I now realise I hurt you more by not communicating with you. I didn't realise what I had until I lost you. And now seeing you with Max, I'm jealous I guess. I remember when you used to smile at me like that. I remember making you happy. I just wanted that back. "

" You can't have that back. For what it's worth Charles, I did truly love you and I guess a part of me always will. But it will never happen again and you should accept it. I've never been as happy as I'm when I'm with Max. I hope you find someone to make you happy as well. And I'm sorry it couldn't be me. " With that Y/n left. She didn't have anything else to say to him. She walked to the Red Bull hospitality where Max was looking for her. As he spotted her , he jogged up to her. He noticed a dull expression on her face and was concerned.

" Hey. Is everything okay? Why are you upset? "

Y/n didn't say anything as she wrapped his arms around her and breathed in his scent. She rested her head on his chest and took some deep breaths to ground herself.

" Y/n, love, you're scaring me. Are you okay? "

" I'm okay now. I love you. "

—---

Charles went on to become the 2023 World Champion with Max becoming the vice World Champion (I know chances of Charles being the World champion are highly unlikely but let me be delusional in peace). Charles should have been happy, this is what he wanted his entire life but he wasn't. As he saw Max wrap his arms around you and celebrate an incredible season, he felt the emptiness in his heart. There was not a day that went by without Charles mourning his relationship with you. He knew you were happy with Max and he knew he had to accept it but he couldn't. He couldn't forgive himself for giving up on the best thing that ever happened to him. Maybe ten years, twenty years from now, he would be able to look at you without yearning filling his senses. Maybe if enough time passed he would learn not to reach for you every morning when he woke up. And maybe, just maybe he would be able to love someone else and stop looking for you in every person. Charles couldn't blame you for leaving if he didn't do anything to make you stay. He regrets a lot of things but letting you go would always be his greatest regret.

[rosietaeyongswife]

stars | yuta nakamoto

genre: fluff, bit of angst wc: synopsis: never let the lost girl become friends with older guys. never. especially if they're friends with yuta nakamoto. an: quick piece of rubbish. rant maybe, idk. lmao i had to write bcs felt like it. admire my yuta nakamoto. i love him.

how much does it take to someone to finaly be able to listen to you? just once. you've always been there for your closest people. did anyone had issues? you were there to help. of course you were, because why not. you're here for it. you did all your best. but where were they when you needed them? nowhere to be seen.

it's always like you were the one to call. one to rant to. whatever. you did your best. never talks about you, but always listen and help others. when you've tried, topic lasted for a minute. next thing was their issue. isn't it unfair? even your own family. you just want to be listened which was near to impossible.

until you met new friends. until you and yuta crushed. most beautiful human being ever to exist. being around yuta felt like you're not just alive but you're actually living. he had never expected anything from you.

"i care." yuta shurgged, while holding you close. "i don't care about all your friends, nor family. knowing enough is enough, y/n. if you want to talk, do it. i'm there for you."

suddenly all you could feel was knot in your stomach. view in front of you was glossy, and tears went down your cheeks. it's bare minimum, you had never recived.

"yuta, i'd like you to hold me. let's just chill together, and stay in a moment. i don't know how much should i be grateful for you. i love you so much."

"don't say obvious things." yuta chuckled, and you could only stare into his pretty eyes. "one day, i want you with me. i want us to go back to japan. i want to spend my best times with you. i want to show you what you deserve. i love you always. you're stars in my dark universe."

yuta was always proud of you. smallest thing you've done, never failed to make him smile. yuta nakamoto is well aware of you. of your feelings. people you've met made you empty inside, and he's willing to do whatever to make you feel as happy as ever.

"you're doing great sweetie." he shows you thumbs up. "i'm recording it."

"yuta, stop."

both of you were in his kitchen. one cigarette in yuta's left hand, phone in his other hand filming how you were baking cupcakes for both of you. it felt embarrassing to be watched. yuta is crazily in love with you.

"i won't, duh. you're all pretty doing it all for us. i made five cupcakes, and here you are doing another ten. you're amazing, darling."

"yuta-" you stopped because he was in your face with phone. "please, you're can't be for real."

"smile for camera. one day, i'll show our kids these videos, you hate." yuta turned his phone, so back camera can film both of you. yuta with cigarrete in between his lips, and you awkwardly smiling at him. "to my future kids. here's your sweetest mother. she's still a bit embarrassed, because she's all new to affection and being someone's number one, but don't worry. daddy's taking care of her."

"yuta, why are you talking about kids?" you chuckled. "it's like, future? like too much to be talked about."

"i can promise you, it's true."

"whatever. hello our future kids. we're doing cupcakes because yuta said it's amazing idea. as you can see, he isn't the best authority to follow. bad influence for kids." you rolled you eyes. "why don't you throw this off."

"i won't. your dad is fuckin amazing, kids."

"he is." both of you were laughing. "yuta nakamoto is the best person i have ever met. i can promise you, everyone loves him so will you. your parents are fuckin best."

yuta ended video, and was laughing. "i love that my y/n is finaly letting herself be. i love you, darling."

"love you, yuta. forever."

maybe there's finaly person who wants to listen to you :)

[andromedagarcia]

Tugging at her heart was fear at opening herself to someone other than her siblings. Fully trusting another person, giving them enough information so that they had a certain power over her. So that they could destroy her, if that was what they wanted. She was good at Clubs, at Spades... Hell, she hated Diamonds, but she could survive those games if it came to it, it would just require her to rack her brains. But matters of the heart... that's where the real danger laid. People could use those against you, make you doubt yourself, your feelings, your loyalties. That was the reason why this was important. She needed to show Kuina, someway, somehow, that her loyalties laid with her. Wherever she may go. Whatever she would do. It was them against the world. Together as one, against all others, if it came to it.

The empty room felt both like a warm hug and like a blow to the stomach. She could fall to her knees and cry, and wouldn't know if the tears running down her cheeks were due to happiness or sadness. How many nights she had spent here. A safe haven, a second home. These walls had seen her go from a party-going university student to a slightly more responsible preschool teacher. Had seen stolen kisses, tragic faces when singing a particularly sad song. Heard rants about how Tinder dates sucked, and how she was never going to have one again... only for her to swipe right a few hours later on her next victim, once alcohol had entered her system.

'Depended on the mood.' She replied, with a smile. Kuina's words had that immediate effect on Meda. As long as what she was saying wasn't I'm extremely sad today or something of the sort, the Spanish woman's lips curved immediately upwards at the sound of her voice. All her troubles forgotten. All her problems resolved. 'Sometimes I was by the bar,' she sat on a stool, placing her elbows on the wooden surface of it, her chin cupped with the palm of her right hand. A pretend pout, as if she had been waiting to order a bit too long. 'Other times I sat by the front, when I was really feeling the music.' She stood up and moved to her preferred table; center right, first row.

Meda felt better. Slowly, but surely. Baby steps. Like earning a wild animal's trust. She went behind the bar, looking at what they had to work with. Tequila of various types. Lime juice, orange liquor, salt. No fresh limes, but she wasn't expecting them, either. It was fine, it would do. The drink would be nice, to wash out whatever troubles they were experiencing, to get rid of the knot on their throats. But the important thing was to have the other woman around. Dark brown eyes on Kuina's face for a moment too long, lingering, as she mixed the ingredients of the cocktail as well as she could. Which was. Not great.

Meda wasn't dumb. She knew what she was feeling, which was very different from a friendship, from a sibling-like relationship. But, while in real life she would have just walked up the other woman and... kissed her, that wasn't the case here. And the fact that she hadn't acted on it, revealed an important detail about all this, a whisper in the back of her head: you care. Whether you call it love, or not. You care.

The soft laughter that fell was almost warm enough to thaw Kuina's numbed heart. It had become one of her favorite sounds, the melody of it changing depending on the circumstance. A song Kuina found herself singing along to. Usually. She wasn't quite sure what it was about this Hearts game in particular that had left her so closed off--perhaps the uneasiness of the unknown that lay between them. Far more vast than the cozy space of the driver and passenger seats. A cliff Kuina teetered alone along the edge of friendship and...something more? Was that possible?

As she listened to Meda's story, Kuina realized how much about her she didn't know, and in this moment now...realized how much Meda was actually trying to share. Absent parents. The caregiver of herself and her two siblings, forced to mature at whatever age and with it the driving maternal instinct. A story any Hearts game master would have a field day with. Kuina almost wished Meda hadn't breathed the words to life, not knowing if they were constantly mic'd or if there was someone watching. It didn't seem appropriate to chime in with her own family history, sensing it would be interpreted as a comparison between who had it worse. Instead, Kuina listened, clinging to every word, allowing Meda to take her on the journey to the past.

Margaritas were easily accessible back at the Beach, but sharing a drink alone together wasn't. Even if they escaped to their rooms, without locks, it didn't allow the two of them much privacy. As though their bubble could be interrupted at any given moment by Meda's siblings or anyone that was looking for Kuina. She eyed the bar, one she'd recognized from driving by or in passing, her preferred one on the other side of the city closer to where she'd lived. Kuina could easily visualize walking in as though they were in the real world, greeted by the white noise of a small crowded space, someone singing along to their favorite song full of emotion and not giving a damn about carrying a tune.

Again, Kuina was reminded how upside down both of their worlds were, and she craved that drink to wash it all away. "So where did you usually sit?" She mused, perking up again ever so slightly while she attempted to place the real world Meda in the bar. "Perched at the bar?" Leaning against it for emphasis, and holding a pretend drink, Kuina surveyed the room as though it were full. "At one of those tables? Not the front...maybe near the middle, off to the side so you'd have access to the bar?" Manicured nails drummed on the bar counter thoughtfully. "Front and center singing your heart out?" Like a siren.

[fict1onallyobsessed]

Can you do Reader proposing to Liv? You did a similar one but like one where we actually get on one knee? Thanks :)

Idiot's in Love

Liv Morgan x Reader

Proposing in a public setting was risky, and both of you knew that. With Liv being famous and her fame only increasing recently, people knew who she was. They wanted to approach her, they wanted to talk and take pictures. You never minded, of course, it was her prime time and you liked to see her happy. The way she smiled when someone recognised her, the way she was all giddy when she returned back to you to tell you about the people she just met.

You loved it. You loved her. And she was constantly showing she loved you too.

So, what better way was there of proposing than on a beach? You were both on a little vacation before you both had to fly out for Liv's next match in another continent, so cherishing the time you had with her was important to both of you.

Her hands were around your waist hugging you tightly while yours wrapped around her neck, placing her head just under your chin. You both looked into the ocean's waves, relishing the sun gently setting below the horizon. Not a lot of people where around, which was perfect in a sense. Your mind rushed with thoughts of the ring in your pocket as your hand played with the ends of her hair.

Liv only looked up when you kissed her forehead. A little smile plastered on her face as she lovingly looked up, scanning your features in turn when you looked down at her.

"I have something to tell you." You whispered, smiling playfully when her smile dropped a little.

"You're not leaving me, are you?" She pulled away a little, enough to watch your face and expression more closely.

You chuckled. "No." Your hands came up to hold her face, thumbs carefully running across her cheeks as she stared at you. You could tell she was a little sceptical. Sure, you've had your arguments but that's no reason to leave, right? Her thoughts went crazy and you could see it, so without wasting any more time, you pulled away from her and reached into your pocket.

"I love you more than anything in this world, Liv." You started, watching her hand fly to her mouth as you got onto one knee in front of her. “I know you don’t like to crease your shoes, you hide your crystals in my pockets and hold the fact you’re a Gemini very close to your heart. And I love that part of you so much. I want me to be the person you come to, to rant about how you lost some crystal or how you ruined your favourite shoes."

A tear ran down your face at her expression, hands covering her mouth as her eyes welded up with similar tears to yours. You'd prepared more to say, but you were honestly going with the flow at that point. Her, there, in front of you, that's all you could think of. The way her hair fell into her face, the way she looked at you with so much love. You wanted to be her person, forever.

"I want to be with you, until I'm old and wrinkly." She giggled a little at that. "Will you marry me, Liv?"

Her hands dropped from her face despite the obvious tears that were rolling down her cheeks, a smile so wide you could see it on the other side of the beach.

"Obviously." She stepped closer to you as you got up, taking her hand in yours so you could place the ring on her finger. She jumped onto you the second it was on, her legs wrapping around your waist as her face hid in the crook of your neck. You could hear her sniffing, but that only made you hold her tighter.

She said yes.

She fucking said yes.

"God, I love you so much." She pulled away and kissed you before you could even think about replying. Her hands cupped your face, both of you smiling into the kiss like idiots.

"I love you, too."

[maraudersbitchesassemble]

Ram confessing his love to Bheem.

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Inspired by this post.

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Ram × Bheem. Angst with fluff ending. Slight Jenny × Seetha

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Ram sat at the table that was placed in front of the open window, the wind softly blowing into his face, his shoulder-length hair flying behind him as he wrote in his journal.

Bheem walked into the room, humming a soft tune as he folded the sleeves of his Kurta upto his elbows. He walked towards his Anna, hair still wet from having a fun time swimming in the river with the children in Ram's village.

"What are you doing, Anna?' He placed his right hand on Ram's shoulder, bending down to look at the journal, a few drops of water from his hair falling onto Ram's hair.

"Nothing important, Bheem. You tell me, did you enjoy?" Ram replied as he closed the book, keeping it in the desk drawer as he got up to face his bestfriend (Soon to be lover)

"YES ANNA! IT WAS SO FUN! All the kids love Malli so much. Even she's insisting that we stay for another 2 days. I'm really happy for her. We wouldn't even have come out so soon if it wasn't for Babai to scold me that all of us will get sick if we stay any longer. The kids want to go swimming again tomorrow." Bheem ranted on about his day, as wide with how excited he was.

Ram couldn't help but look at Bheem in awe. He chuckled as he heard about Babai having to scold him. Ram had always known that Bheem was a kid at heart. Even when he had been pretending to be Akhtar, Ram had noticed the childlike wonder in his eyes when they were out doing mischief around town. God, the way Bheem was laughing so freely as they ran from the little boy after Bheem had tried to steal a goat.

Ram smiled at the memory. Even with the stress of having to catch the Gond leader, the conflict in his heart about hurting the people he was going to help attain the freedom of, Bheem had managed to bring out the child in Ram, the child that he had buried deep down in his heart, only the responsibility of his father's promise overpowering every other emotion.

He was so in love with Bheem and was an idiot for thinking he could bury this emotion deep down like he had every other. So much time had been lost in this, he couldn't waste any more time, he HAD to propose to Bheem today.

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Bheem sat on the floor, eating from the huge plate filled with rice as Ram stood at the window, looking at the star-filled night sky. He had always loved looking at the stars and pointing out constellations. It was his Baba that had taught him about it. The nostalgia he felt as he looked at the sky gave him a very weird sense of calmness. It gave him comfort, like being wrapped in one of his Baba's shawls that Amma used to wrap him in when he felt cold at night and couldn't sleep.

He then looked towards Bheem, thinking about how Bheem had wrapped him in his shawl yesterday night. The moonlight illuminated Bheem's face, he looked ethereal. Ram never could believe that someone like Bheem could be real. Such innocence, such kindness. Bheem wasn't human, no, he was an angel. An angel that Ram had come to love so dearly.

Ram's mind then started filling with thoughts of doubt. He did love Bheem, but did Bheem love him? Did he still love him after what he'd done? The sounds of the thorned whip hitting Bheem, the look of absolute hatred Bheem's eyes held at that time, the way Bheem had almost bled to death because of him. No, Bheem obviously didn't love him. And even if he somehow still did love him, Ram didn't deserve to be loved, he didn't deserve to be loved at all. And ofcourse, not by Bheem, who he had hurt so much.

"Anna, are you okay? Why are you so silent today?" Ram was pulled out of his thoughts by Bheem's soft voice.

"I'm good." He turned after wiping away the tears that made their way down his face. "You want some more rice, Bang- uh, Bheem?" He went into the kitchen, Bheem getting up to follow him.

"Anna" Bheem called to him, "Please tell me what's wrong. I can see you're crying."

"It's nothing, Bheem. Come, We'll go get Seetha and Jenny, seems like they lost track of time again. It just keeps happening everytime they go on a date." He walked past Bheem and outside the door.

Bheem closed his eyes in frustration. Why was Ram like this.

"ALLURI RAMARAJU" He yelled out in irritation, "you better come back here and talk." He looked towards the door to see Ram standing there in shock, he recovered quickly though, turning to face Bheem.

"Bheem, I- I've been meaning to say this for a long time now." Ram started as he walked towards Bheem.

"I love you, Bheem. I'm truly and utterly in love with you. I know I don't deserve to be loved by someone like you. Someone who is so kind that they forgive the person who was cruel enough to make them almost bleed to death. So powerful for not only forgiving that person but to go back and risk your life to save them. And so selfless for helping them to even complete their goal. You have no idea how much you being in my life means to me. Bheem, You've already done so much for me, but please, can I ask you for one more favour? Please, please give me a chance to love you. A chance to try and repent for my sins. A chance to try and heal the wounds that I've given you. Please, Bheem. Please." Ram completed as he gently held Bheem's right hand with his left, the other hand held Bheem's face, both of their eyes filled with tears.

Bheem slowly raised his hand to wrap around Ram's wrist. "I love you so much, Bangaram" He said and Ram laughed.

"Bangaram?" He asked before leaning in, his lips brushing against his lover's as he felt Bheem's hand wrap around his waist, pulling him closer than they already were.

"May I?" Ram asked and Bheem nodded as he gently pressed his lips against Ram's. They were so soft, just like he'd imagined. Their noses bumped against eachother as Ram licked Bheem's lower lip.

After what felt like hours, although it was a few minutes, they pulled away for air. Their foreheads rested against eachother. A soft, pleasant smile on their faces.

"FINALLY" The moment was broken as they heard Jenny squeal. "Shhhhh, Jenny!" Seetha slapped her shoulder.

"When did you both come in?!" Bheem asked as his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink at the thought of being caught.

"Couldn't you have let us have a moment?!" Ram turned to face them, irritated at being interrupted.

"You're both so different from eachother and yet in love." Seetha sighed, as she looked at Jenny, "Just like us."

"Okay okay that's enough. I'm hungry now." Jenny softly smiled at Seetha's comment as she went past Ram and Bheem and into the kitchen.

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@manwalaage @lil-stark @thewinchestergirl1208 @kafkaesquebestie @gauri-vishalakshi @juhiiiiii @irisesforyoureyes @itsfookingloosah @rambheem-is-real @kalavathiii @nerdreader @mayuriebubblie @darlingletshurttonight @zaddylokiandthorsimp @hxnky-pxnky @nainawithspecs @alien-chicken-baby @the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see @slurrrrp @miriseven @seherie @bromance-minus-the-b @budugu @sit-ki-sita @reallythoughtfulwizard @siriuslykrishna @inlovewithfictionalbeings @raisemybodybacktolife @raindrops-on--roses @evarukadu-deactivated20220624 @aasthuu @nokhushionlygam @hellomisterleaf @kitty-lemon @azraelcruor @ramayantika @rambheemisgoated @natures-marvel @duolingo-is-a-bitch-2 @yehsahihai @aasthuu @hufhkbgg @hissterical-nyaan @anyavaramyr @kookiries

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Hello! I'm in love with the way you write c! Ranboo like hsgsj- amazing! So I would like a request Yandare c! Ranboo and tubbo with a soft reader that is oblivious on how they act twords them but loves them unconditionaly (just fluff please maybe maybe put a Micheal seen in there as well because Micheal is the best character 😌)

I think this is the best compliment I have ever received... Thank you so much🤍🖤

I didn't know whether or not to do headcanons or a full-length fic, so I went with a shorter story if that's alright. ^^ if it's not feel free to send another request!

FYI THIS CAN BE SEEN AS PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC

Too Sweet (For This World) Yandere!C!Ranboo x F!Reader x Yandere!C!Tubbo

It was very common for you to see something out of the corner of your eye, but when you looked, you only saw a bunch of purple particles drifting slowly towards the earth due to gravity. You just assumed there were quite a few endermen still hanging around Snowchester, or some of the goats had come down from the mountains when you saw small little horns peeking out from behind bushes.

There were a couple times a day where you accidentally and very conveniently bumped into Ranboo out in the crater of L'Manberg or Tubbo when walking around Snowchester. It honestly was funny to you that you always seemed to bump into them when you were feeling sad or lonely. Plus, after talking to them and spending time with them, your problems almost magically seemed to disappear!

Such as, there was one time when you were helping clean up the red vines around buildings and Fundy was nagging at you for being so slow or bad at doing everything. After storming away and ranting to Ranboo about it on the verge of tears, Fundy practically scrambled up to you the next day shaking and almost crying, apologizing for every single thing he's ever said or done.

Huh... Maybe he felt that bad about it to the point where he was crying?

Although Fundy never said anything mean to you again, he also stopped hanging around you completely.

When you mentioned this to Tubbo, he explained that Fundy must not have been a real friend and that he and Ranboo would always be there for you before anyone else.

Once the mansion was built, the two platonic husbands eagerly invited you to stay with them, even saying they had Foolish make a room specifically for you! At first, you quite enjoyed your home around L'manberg, but then one day you returned home to a wall of your home completely destroyed by vines, deeming it unlivable. Although a tad convenient..

Tubbo and Ranboo had heard about it through your sobs when you called them, saying you had no clue what to do anymore. They had arrived at your side in almost minutes and quickly helped you pack and move everything to the mansion.

"I thought Snowchester was like... Half a day's walk away from here..." You sniffed, rubbing your red and puffy eyes. The two men of greatly varying heights tensed up momentarily.

"We were in the area." They both blurted out at the same time before glancing at each other.

Tubbo cleared his throat first, "I was in the nether, but luckily for you, I was close to the old L'manberg portal!" He smiled softly at you as you three walked away from your old home.

"M-Me too!" Ranboo coughed awkwardly, causing Tubbo to shoot him an odd look that you decided to brush off, "Now, uh, come on! Michael needs to meet his new mother!"

You blinked in surprise at the new title but didn't question it much, assuming it was simply just a title. Unbeknownst to you, your two best friends already thought you were part of their platonic relationship, despite you never agreeing nor denying, or them even asking.

It took a few days, but the zombie piglin warmed up to you and practically saw you as another one of his parents, which made Ranboo and Tubbo extremely happy. Instead of placing you into one of the regular rooms, they had Foolish turn the basement into two heavily secured rooms a few days before your house had been destroyed, strangely enough, and even designed one perfectly to your liking!

After washing the fruits you had, you walked towards the bookshelf and pulled on the fake book that caused the shelf to swing open. You walked down the quartz stairs after shutting the hidden door, then made your way up to one of the two doors with a pink sign with 'Michael' written in yellow cursive paint. Punching in the code, the iron door slid open and you stepped in before closing it behind you.

A loud cooing grunt was heard and the sound of quiet tapping echoed through the room before a pair of arms wrapped around your leg. "Hello, Michael." You giggled softly as Michael made grabbing hands up towards the bowl of fruit. Placing it down on the table, the child eagerly ran over and began munching on the food as you brushed over the books on the shelves to find one you haven't read to Michael before. "What about... The story of Persephone?"

A disappointed grunt was your only response.

"Guess I did read that one... Hm... Oh! What about the story of Icarus?" This time his response was a happy squeak and tippy taps of his hooves against the warm quartz floors. You sat down in the rocking chair and waited until the child scrambled over and jumped into your lap.

You opened the book and began reading to him for an hour until your eyes slowly slid shut to the quiet snores of the child of your two best friends, who at this point was beginning to see you as a mother.

Quiet 'meh' sounds and 'vrrr'ing noises and a dim flash woke you up from your spot in the rocking chair. Cracking open your eyes, your arms shifted around the nether hybrid as you saw Tubbo holding a camera making happy bleating noises, while Ranboo, who was the source of the buzzing noises, took the book you had been reading from your limp hand to put it back on the shelf.

"What time is it?" You murmured softly to keep the child asleep as you rubbed the back of your stiff and sore neck.

"It's about 5:30pm. Still rather early. Tubbo walked over and gave you a gentle yet affectionate headbutt while he scooped Michael up from your lap to bring him to bed. This caused an odd whining noise to come from the enderman hybrid before he quickly walked over and rested his forehead against yours, resting it there for a few moments before pulling back, his cheeks flushed the same colours as his eyes.

You giggled softly and gave him a gentle pat on the head as he helped you up. He held onto one of your hands as Tubbo eagerly went for the other, jokingly sticking his tongue out at Ranboo who gave a noise of mock offense, causing you three to giggle softly as you left Michael's room and went upstairs.

Tubbo and Ranboo weren't big fans of you leaving the basement on your own, and you were rarely allowed to leave the mansion even with the two boys at your sides. The former president told you it was because he heard rumours of Technoblade searching around for all the members of his cabinet back when he was in charge of L'Manberg, and he just wanted to protect you.

You saw no problems with his story as it was extremely believable. Your history with Technoblade hadn't been the cleanest and he would've definitely taken one of your canon lives back during the attack on L'Manberg, had a stray black and white firework not saved you that day. It had fired off and must've swerved a way that wasn't predicted, because it hit Technoblade hard enough in the chest to knock him away from you.

You don't remember much of that day, except for Ranboo immediately running over to you and dragging you away from the destruction and chaos. Thanks to him, you were almost completely scar free and standing proudly at three canons lives.

A gentle hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality and you saw two sets of eyes staring at you with concern. "Hey... Are you feeling okay?" Ranboo asked softly, tilting your head up to place his free hand against your forehead, "See. I told you she should be getting more sunlight, Tubbo!"

"I'm okay, I'm okay!" You laughed softly at their worry, rubbing your thumbs along the back of their hands, "Just... Remembering the war with Dream and Techno..."

"What about it?" Tubbo asked, bringing you into the living room to sit down with your friends on either side of you.

You pursed your lips together for a moment as you looked at the ground, "Just how... Scary Techno is. And how he was about to kill me without a care about who or what I was."

Angered growling and seething noises came from Ranboo and Tubbo as you felt their grasps tighten around your hands, almost to a painful degree. You looked up and saw their expressions stone-cold and steely although vastly different from each other.

Ranboo's green eye was purple, and the black tone of his skin was beginning to seep into the side with the lack of colour. The corners of his mouth were slowly splitting open wider and wider as his lips parted, allowing you to see the glowing purple colour inside his mouth.

Tubbo's was less obvious. His eyes were blank but also had a bright fire, one burning for revenge, reflected in them. His ears weren't flicking and neither was his tail, his entire body stiff except for a faint sound giving away the fact that his teeth were grinding together.

As much as you tried to endure it, the grip became too harsh and you couldn't help but give a small pained gasp. This caused all physical contact with you to suddenly vanish as the two boys immediately flung themselves away from you, horror and fear in their eyes.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"

"Are you okay?! Do you need an ice pack?!"

"Or a bandage from my claws?!"

They were both kneeling on the ground in front of you with both of your hands in their grasps again. They repeatedly turned your hands in their own, testing the joints and checking for marks or bruising. "Boys, boys!" You laughed softly, placing your hands on their heads to ruffle their hair gently. You pulled your left hand adorned with two beautiful rings and held it up for them to see, flexing it and moving it around, "See? Perfectly fine. No pain whatsoever!"

While they seemed to have calmed down a lot, they still seemed to be extremely upset and guilty. "I'm still going to get an ice pack... We don't want our wife to be injured..." Tubbo murmured as he quickly got up and walked towards the kitchen.

"I will get started on dinner. And as an apology, I'm making your favourite. (F/f)." Ranboo tried to be a little more upbeat than Tubbo, but you could still see the small amounts of guilt as he turned and followed after the goat hybrid.

Sighing softly at their overreactions, you leaned back against the couch...

Before doing a double-take.

Adorned with rings?!

You quickly flung yourself forward again and looked at your left hand. On your ring finger were two diamond rings, one gold with a green gemstone, and the other silver with a black gemstone, both glistening a faint purple from enchantments...

...

When did these get put on you- wait... Did Tubbo say... wife?

[ditttiii]

gold rush. || kth {m}

⇢ summary: kim taehyung is a walking heartbreak waiting to happen. all narrow eyes and long nose and devilish smirks, he is everyone’s dream. after months of sharing an elevator with the man who makes your heart race until you can scarcely breathe when the chance finally comes; are you willing to risk it all for his touch? 

⇢ genre: porn with feelings, soft smut, angst, is unresolved tension and feelings a genre?

⇢ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

⇢ word count: 4.4k

⇢ rating: explicit / 18+

⇢ theme: strangers to lovers, s2l!au

⇢warning/s: public/elevator sex, exhibitionism, fingering, cunnilingus/oral (female receiving), lots of kissing, hickeys, unprotected sex? reader’s on the pill, swearing, tension and so much of it, unresolved-repressed feelings, taehyung is a certified dingus & reader is hopelessly smitten. 

⇢ a/n: betaed by @yeojaa​ who owns my heart and is the most precious bean ever. 

also have all my virtual, socially distanced cuddles @btsmosphere​ @papillonsgf​ @birbdae​ & @unoriginal-username15432​. if it weren’t for their support this wouldn’t be out today. my gratitude knows no bounds ♡ also big thanks to taylor for the fic title.

banner by @chillingkoo​ & moodboard by @today-we-will-survive​​ their art breathed life into this fic ♡ a belated birthday fic for one mr.kim taehyung & the beautiful @kerikaaria​.  this fic is also my submission for @thebtswritersclub​ january monthly project. 

lastly, i had a lot of fun writing this so i hope you guys enjoy it x 2021 here v go ♡

You wonder when the shame stopped making you hide behind a curtain of messy bed hair. When the smell of a man's cologne on you and a fruity fragrance on him started to feel normal; routine.

 The elevator closes with a 'ping', and your eyes track the numbers as they descend, the warmth of another human, the soft puffs of his breath, warming your shivering, scantily dressed body.

 "What happened to ‘she’s too old for me?’ " You grunt, slipping off your six inches of agony inducing footwear and pushing them to a corner.

 "What happened to you not being jealous?" You can feel his smirk, oozing of self-assured nonchalance and smugness that would seem ugly on anyone but fits like a well-tailored suit on him. From the corner of your eye, you watch as he leans back, hands resting on the metal railing while his tall, lean body slouches lazily, almost invitingly, and you have to force your eyes away from tracing the curves of his pecs. It's a tempting sight, but you aren't about to give him any more ammo to goad you with. As it is, he already knows too much, is far too keen. 

 "Of your sugar mama? I don't think so."

 Taehyung hums but doesn't refute the statement and the silence between you two stretches on. A burning ball of jealousy in your stomach continues to eat away at your peace, and with a clenched jaw, you allow your head to rest against the cool metal of the elevator and pretend that the proximity doesn't affect you. 

 It's always the same between you two, a constant game of tug and war, where one pulls too firmly, and then the other comes tumbling close until one of you comes back to your senses and then it's back to square one. Back to bickering and recounting the previous night’s escapades of half-truths and lies told from kiss-swollen lips and hooded gazes as you try your best to rile the other one up.

 It's stupid. You are in your twenties and this isn't like you. The lying, the pretence that you are still seeing your ex-boyfriend and biting and sucking your own lip until it swells; until you look properly ravished; none of this is you.

 You should have known the day he first stumbled into the elevator with a half-buttoned shirt and bite marks painted over the pale skin of his neck, a satisfied smirk curled on his dark pink lips, that he wasn't good for you. But no, like the absolute fool that you are, you fell for him. Fell knowing full well he wasn't yours to have, that back then you weren't his to have.

 The elevator comes to a stop with a shudder. Your eyes, closed sometime during the descent, snap open and your feet pause when the sight of the closed doors grace you.

 "You stopped the elevator." It's not a question, not when his hand is still hovering over the stop button, head tilted as his eyes stay trained on you.

 "I did." He admits to a question you never asked.

 Biting back a hiss at his insistence on being difficult, you twist on your heels, lips pulled into a smile whose edges sting like shards of a broken glass and parry, "And why did you do that, pray tell?"

 He doesn't answer, just looks at you with that half-lidded gaze and his silence only infuriates you more, makes the back of your neck feel heated as an angry flush rises from your chest all the way up to your cheeks and with a few angry stomps you’re in Taehyung's space, barely a few inches left between you two.

 "God!" You start, and the anger, the jealousy, the ugly ball of insecurity and lust and something you haven't quite found a name for yet all coagulate and rise up your throat, burning your heart in their wake until you are hurting and seething. “I don’t get you, nor do I want to anymore!" The words tumble out, one after another and half thought out but your chest still burns and the ugly ball still feels scorching hot in your throat and you can't bring yourself to stop, to shut up and think. "Stop doing this. Stop flirting with me and stop looking at me with those hooded eyes of yours and for the love of god, do you really need to lick your lip that often? Why don't you carry a lip balm if your lips are that dry, huh?"

 The cross of your eyes is almost painful, but you have started and fuelled by anger and unreciprocated feelings there’s no stopping your steam. "And now this! Stopping the elevator! What the hell is this supposed to mean?" His lips part as if to answer but without waiting for his response, you plow on, "What! Do you actually have an answer? Really? Let's face it; you think I’m some sort of challenge that needs to be conquered. Another notch on your bedpost. You and your stupid smirks and half-lidded eyes and that damn mole on your nose and god, can you just not—"

 The soft pad of his finger on your lips pauses your rant, leaves them parted and your heart hammering while unsaid words clutter the hollow spaces in your throat, tighten around your vocal cords like a noose until they become their own nemesis. 

 "I broke up with her last night," Taehyung says, and from where you are standing so close to him, his breath on your neck, cheeks, lips is too enchanting, too much like something you had hoped and begged and prayed for far too long now. Breathing out harshly you blink yourself back to reality because you must be hearing him wrong. 

  "Huh?"

 His hand slowly comes up to hold your chin, thumb running over your lower lip with a feather-like touch, "I broke up with her last night, went home and came back early because I didn't want to miss you." He says, and your chest feels tight, palms numb and it's only when his hand gently settles over the nape of your neck and you inhale painfully that you realise that you had stopped breathing.

 "Why?" You rasp out. 

  Don't hope. This means nothing. Do not hope. 

 Something twists in your belly, a thread tightens around your heart, and you know, despite it all, that you are hoping. 

 "Why do you think?" He asks instead, and you stifle the sudden desire to bash his head into a wall. 

 "Don't play games with me." 

 A sigh, his breath dancing on your lips and you barely suppress the tingles that burn down your spine, "I'm not. I don't want to, not anymore." The hand resting around your neck curls, fingers caressing the soft skin behind your ear.

 "What do you want then?" Your words are quiet, hope and longing laced into every syllable that you desperately hope to hide but fail. 

 Your heart hammers into your ribs with so much force you are half afraid it will leave them cracked; splintered just like your love for the man who is touching you, holding your entire heart in the palm of his hands while you wait for it to be crushed. Because it will, it's inevitable. Kim Taehyung is a walking heartbreak waiting to happen. All narrow eyes and long nose and devilish smirks, he is too good. Too good for the woman he was with and certainly too good for you. You would be happy if you looked half as good on your wedding day as he regularly does because he is that gorgeous. And unreal, and pretty and it hurts. 

 It hurts because you can never have him and any second now he will push you away and ridicule you for getting flustered so easily and he will never understand, and god it cuts. It tears at you because despite knowing better, you long for him, his touch, his warmth.

 Maybe even his love. But that is one hope you refuse to acknowledge out loud. 

 Your breaths mingle from where you two are standing so close, and part of you aches to reach out, to pull him closer and wrap yourself around him until you can sync the beat of your heart to his, to nestle your face in the crook of his neck and breathe him in, drown in the scent of that spicy cologne that you associate with him and nobody else. Because it's tempting, oh so inviting and he is so so close.

 You could touch his chest, caress the skin peeking from in between the dip of his low neck shirt and it would be easy, he would let you, you know that too but what about after? How do you come back from holding someone your soul is in love with and then pretend that being with them for one night was enough? How does your hope keep living on in the name of that fragment of love? His arms your shelter for one night and then you are back to being strangers, sharing elevators and bumping into each other at the grocery store, pretending all the while that you do not yearn to visit that one night you spent together whenever your head hits the pillow? 

 "I..." Taehyung struggles, chews the words before his lips form them because this is his last chance and if he loses you now, it's over; he knows that too. The pair of you are done playing cat and mouse. 

 "I know my words don't hold a whole lot of value. I could promise you things, but you won't believe me and that's fair. I get it." He admits, another hand coming up until your face is cradled in his open palms, fingers slipping behind the edges of your ears and you will yourself to not drop your gaze, to look into his eyes and search for...love? Honesty? You wish you could say you know what it is that you are hunting for, but held so close all you can think about is the chestnut brown of his eyes, the black that rims them, the high arched brows and the thin, smooth lips and that mole; that mole that you can only see when you are pressed close, a hair's breadth of space between you two. 

 "But...?" You ask, pray, and yet again, against your better judgement hope.

 "But I love you." He confesses, voice forever rich and deep and you feel the hum of his baritone from where your chest is still pulled tight to his. "My love for you is unlike any I have ever known, and it scared me; it still scares me because I don't know. I don't know what I will do if I ever lose you. I care too much, I—" His grip on you tightens and instinctively your hands snake around his waist, clenching the soft cotton of his shirt, nails biting into your skin as his words thread your hopelessly lovesick heart back together; piece by piece.

 "I love you too much." Taehyung whispers and the ice around your heart thaws, his raw confession lighting a fire in your nerves until you are left buzzing from the high of his admission. "Trust me. Just this once. Please." He is vulnerable in his plea, and for the first time you wonder if you had characterised him wrong. Boxed and stored him like a gift on a shelf without bothering to look underneath the paper wrapping.

 Taehyung doesn't have to beg, he doesn't have to try and persuade anyone, and for all the gibes you threw his way, all the daggered words about him dating only for money, you didn't truly believe any of them. Sure, the woman he had been with for the last few months was older (a voice in your head whispers wiser), but that wasn't because she was, as you would often insist, his 'sugar mama', but instead because their interests aligned. Kim Taehyung is a man of taste, whether it be his fondness for a violin's trill, fascination with modern art, or his love for jazz music. He is an enigma and with no small amount of embarrassment you think back to all the times you have bought a book after he made a passing comment on it, searched the pages and the characters to find some semblance of him.

 Maybe you are pathetic, perhaps you are far too infatuated with this man for it to be healthy. Just maybe...

 "No," Taehyung commands, his voice so determined you’re snapped back to the present, head thrown out of the haze your wandering thoughts had created.

 Seeing your obscure expression and strayed eyes (look away because you can't acknowledge how much he matters), he pushes, one hand sliding down to grip your chin and urge you to look him in the eye. "Don't." 

 Maybe he sees something in your eyes, spots your hidden insecurities, reads you like an open book and dog-ears the pages that hold your weakness. 

 "Don't what?" You deflect, gaze drifting away again as you pretend to not know what he means but secretly long for him to keep pushing, to keep trying—your denial’s a facade to hide all your pleas. 

 "Don't do this to me. To us."  

 "You'll hurt me." You protest, a half-hearted attempt at trying to protect your already doomed heart even as your fingers clench tighter, pull him closer.

 "No, I won't." He speaks with certainty that you don't wholly believe but fuelled by far too much love and longing, you don't protest any further and instead toe closer, rise higher, and breathe in the shaky exhale he lets out when your lips skim the sharp curve of his jaw. 

 "I've wanted this for so long." Unadulterated desire courses through your veins at his admission. Even if Taehyung is lying, even if he leaves you stranded after today, you'll live. You'll live on the high of this moment, the memory of his skin under your touch, the crisp of the cotton draped over his lean torso. 

 It's easier to let go and surrender yourself, easier to lay yourself bare because you have already come too far and there is no protecting yourself anymore—your heart is now his to do with.

 Your hands twine around his waist, slide over the vast expanse of his back like he is yours; as though if you try hard enough, you'll leave an imprint, a sign that he belongs to you. Mark him for the rest of eternity and brand him with your name on his heart. 

 Kissing him is easy, the slight ache of staying on your tippy-toes going by unregistered as you get lost in the sensation of his lips, his sighs on your chin, the tickle of his lashes against the high curve of your cheek. 

 The cradle of his palms around your face is gentle, almost careful, as though you are a porcelain doll and he is afraid one harsh move will leave you splintered. Chest tight, you push down the last remaining traces of hesitation clinging inside your throat and twist to catch his lips instead, licking a long strip from the soft cleft of his chin over to his parted lips, dip into the hollow of his mouth and slide over the soft flesh on the inside before you catch his upper lip in between yours and suck.

 His responding groan has you clenching your thighs and you break the kiss, breathing in to replenish the oxygen that doesn't seem as important when his lips are on yours. When your gaze catches his, for once you don't look away, don't force yourself to stop from swimming in the beautiful, clear pool of his eyes.

 "I love you too." Your admission is quiet, more a careful whisper than anything else, as though any louder and you'll break this spell and things will go back to the way they were. He will come to his senses and realise he doesn't love you after all and then you'll go back to being a pining, lovesick fool, only this time with a broken heart and no hope to cling to.

 His eyes grow soft—gentle in the curve of two crescent moons, and you smile your first real smile, the edges twitching and pulling into a gentle grin before you can bite it down and the answering smile that Taehyung rewards you with has your heart squeezing almost painfully inside your chest.

 "Yeah?" He asks as though he already knows the answer but just wants to hear you say it again, profess your love for him again and you do. You say it again and again, press your lips over every inch of his face and emboss the words onto the smooth, unblemished skin.

 Taking in a shuddering breath, you answer from around the suspended ball of disbelief and love in your throat. "Yeah." 

 When the clothes start coming off it’s a gentle, slow affair, the spaces in between filled with tender touches curious to explore the skin that they had desired for so long and open-mouthed kisses pressing promises of forever and happily ever after onto the naked expanse, leaving goosebumps in their wake.  

 Legs twined around his waist like ivy, you arch off the floor. A tug of your hand and his shirt slips low, and then your mouth is pressing warm, wet, kisses, tongue slipping out and desperately tasting his skin, his sweat— him. You lean back and then he's on you, low, low, low until his lips are close enough to skim the edges of your panties and you buckle, arch and push without meaning to as you ache for relief only he can provide. 

 "You are beautiful. So so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever seen." 

 His words are rough, less speech and more growl as he pushes his head closer to your soaking heat and inhales. "Fuck." 

 Breathes turning to hitches, words into gasps, you can scarcely keep your eyes open when he runs a long, slim finger through your folds and circles your wet opening before your walls are pulsing around him, sucking and pulling the finger in as deep as it will go. One and two then three, your cunt can't have enough of his fingers, his heat and him and oh— 

 His lips are velvet against your clit, your body a molten mass of gold moulding itself around his fingers, your sanity and restraint slipping and dripping down onto the carpeted floor from in between the spaces. With the last left strength, you prop yourself onto your elbows and the sight of Taehyung's mouth on your sex is almost enough to send you slipping back down again. His tongue laves across your folds with the desperation of a man parched, caressing every fold, greedily licking away your dripping arousal and moaning out obscenities too vulgar for how early the day is. 

 When you come, it's with a cry that sounds too animalistic to be yours. One that comes from your chest and leaves your back arched like the ends of a boomerang. "Good?" He asks with glistening lips, and you wanna scream, hysterical in your pitch— good? Is there anything better that exists in this world than his lips on you making you come? Again and again, until you can no longer stand the sensitivity? 

 But instead of screaming, or shaking him by his shoulders until it gets through his head, you reply with a spent nod and let your elbows slip. This is what being eaten out by Kim Taehyung feels like. The pleasure coursing through your veins is something far more potent than any you have ever felt before. The blood in your veins thrumming, almost sizzling under the thin layer of your skin. 

 He presses his forehead to yours, rests to catch his breath and with every shuddery inhale you breathe your arousal in, a swipe of your tongue across his glistening lips, and then you can taste it too. It tastes of nothing and yet everything. Coming from his lips, it tastes of what your dreams are built from, like liquified recklessness and yearning and above all —Taehyung. 

 It tastes of him and his smirks and all the kisses you couldn't have and all the kisses you now hope for. 

 His fingers are gentle when they tuck your hair, eyes bright behind the curtain of messy, ink-black strands, "There's a law somewhere that says when you love someone with all your heart, you are unavoidably loved by them as well. Amor ch'a null'amato amar perdona." 

 Your eyes search his, frantically rove all over his face, search the lines under his eyes, pause at the small mole on his nose, and then stop at the sight of the one on his lower lip, the one that your eyes would always drift to every time he'd smirk or grin in the past. Now he's smiling, lips stretched into a soft boxy curve, the mole evident against the edge and you raise a trembling hand, run your thumb across it. Cup his face with both your hands until your vision blurs and then your lips are on his. Locking and licking and your mouth is a leaking faucet of I love you's, hands working to the back of his head and getting lost in those perfectly long, wavy strands. 

 You hope this is the real thing when you wildly take off your dress, rip off his shirt unmindful of the last few buttons that clatter to the floor and undress until the both of you are as bare as you were the day you were born.

 The steel railing is startlingly cold against your rear but before you can wince Taehyung's large hands are on your waist, pulling you closer until all that's on your mind is the feel of him, hard and hot against your dripping heat. His mouth is on your breast, lips sucking marks into the flesh and tying you to him, leaving traces of his presence behind until you can no longer differentiate the ache in your heart from the burn in your belly. 

 Somehow through the haze of want and compulsive need, you collect yourself enough to tell him you're on the pill when he remembers the lack of protection in his wallet, and then he's inside you. The thrust inside is fluid, and you are moaning, keening at your wetness, at how long he is, at how unbearably, entirely full you are. 

 Your name falls from his lips like a prayer, like the last words of a man dying an untimely death, desperate and hurried and like if he takes a second too long he might never get the chance again. The scratch of your nails against his back must hurt, the grip of your heels around his sides must be painful, and still you can't bring yourself to let up; to let go. 

 The air inside becomes humid, reeks of sex and sweat and everything that shouldn't seem so right, and yet does. 

 You come first, hit your peak and crash through it like a ship in a torrential sea, hot and volatile and like something vital that you'll retain even in the afterlife. Taehyung–sweet, sweet Taehyung – helps you ride it out, makes your body sing with the honed practice of a pianist who has spent more decades playing than he can recall. His tongue is on your neck, stroking that one sensitive spot in the hollow of your clavicle while his hand brushes your clit, builds the pleasure and lets it drift, unhurried and soft until you are crying from the overwhelming rightness of it. 

 With a shudder, you finally push his hand away from your quivering heat and bring it to your lips, kiss the bony knuckles and let it rest on your thigh from where he wraps it tight around your waist and drives to chase his own high. 

 Sated you watch Taehyung, catalogue all the features that you had never seen before but up close can. Just in case—just. File them all in a part of your heart where only he resides, a piece you will always come back to, regardless of if the man in your arms chooses to stay or not. You will be selfish with these memories, hoard and treasure them in secrecy until the day you can look back upon them with nothing more than nostalgic fondness. 

 The appearance of a deep furrow on his forehead, between those long arched brows and the breaking rhythm of his thrusts, alerts you to how close he is and you clench. Clench with all the love and devotion you nurture in your heart and hope that somehow it will be enough. If not forever, then at least until you can have your fill, until you can love him for a life's worth and live off on those memories. Live on them like a late mother's half-finished perfume bottle that you take out and sniff on your sorriest days, a push strong enough to keep you going. 

 One more day, then one more and then just one more until you can finally meet him in the afterlife, old and having done all that you had been sent to do. Except for love. You doubt you can ever love like this again. 

 Kissing him after feels like the best kind of heartbreak because you know, somewhere deep in your gut where you house your intuition and insecurities, you know this won't last. 

 Yet you wouldn't take back anything. Your lips form words on Taehyung's shoulder 'i love you so much. i always will', and you tighten your arms around his waist. Anchor him to the present and pray that the defence will be strong enough to keep him with you for a little while more. 

 Just a little.

a/n: the end is up to your interpretation, you are free to imagine whatever end you’d have liked to see. If you enjoyed reading this please let me know through comments, reblogs, tags or asks. the feedback makes me insanely happy and i love hearing from you guys ♡

[fckwritersblock]

Protection Forever - William Lennox

Lennox x Reader

Description: Running into an old flame at the worst possible time.

Warning: nah. Bad writing? Kinda. Unedited because I was excited. I’ll not when it’s been fixed. Somethings may not be fully aligned with the movie but I tried 😩

Word count: 2500+

Dedicated to @merakiaes hey fren!

All gifs from @meragifs too!

You were an EMT.

The two of you pulled up to meet with the other Autobots, you exiting the vehicle before he transformed. You were in awe as he and the rest of the cars all changed.

The biggest one, their leader, gave a rundown of everything that was happening once he confirmed Sam’s identity. This was just a recap for you as Ratchet had already explained. The teenage boy just stood there stuttering not really knowing how to process everything and you frowned again. That was when you really took notice of two teens just standing there. Having known what was expected of Sam Witwicky you frowned slightly.

“I don’t know about this Ratchet, he’s just kid.” You commented to the alien you had formed a quick bond with.

“And who might you be?” The one called Optimus inquired.

You gave him your name before the other yellow autobot, who you’d later learned was Bumble Bee, uttered something through his radio. It was hard for you to hear but the other robots seemed to be use to it as Ratchet responded immediately.

“The human. I like her.” Ratchet sounding irritated.

Bumblebee made another comment and right before Ratchet could respond one of the others chimed in.

“Wait why do they get humans?” Jazz asked incredulously. “I want one too!”

“Enough! Humans are not pets.” The one call Optimus Prime stated sternly, clearly tired of their bickering. You held your laugh, highly amused.

They were like siblings. A family.

“Exactly I’m just here to help and be a better tour guide than these kids can be.” You confirmed practically forcing your services on them. “Besides they need adult supervision. From the looks of it, you all do.” You grinned at everyone around you. Optimus gave a nod, agreeing.

“She stays. Let’s move.”

In that short amount of time things moved rather quickly. You watched the Autobots accidentally destroy Sam’s backyard when attempting to retrieve the glasses, you were all arrested, you escaped thanks to the Autobots, only to be arrested again.

Fail.

Finally you ended it some secret base. How get you weren’t alone. The government had apparently been on a roll with kidnapping civilians who “knew too much “.

Things weren’t going great but quickly went left when the Decepticons, the Autobot rivals, came to retrieve Megatron.

A war from another planet had officially made Earth its battleground.

You were nervous, trying to figure out how to calm everything down before things started to escalate. Nobody was going to get anywhere with all the bickering. That’s when you saw him.

It had been what? Two years?

Still, without even knowing it, without even knowing you were present, he was still able to make your heart be slow and fast at the same time. The army had aged him, but for the better making him all the more attractive but you couldn’t focus on that right now. Especially when you heard:

“The cryogenic system is failing! We're losing NBE One!”

All the soldiers begin to pack everything that they could to prepare in a fight the way they always did. It was an mirable the way Linux game orders in his men took them without a second thought. The trust there.

“That’s good. Get all the ammo you got.”

“Everything you can carry. Bring it.”

Tearing your eyes away from your former lover you grab Sam.

“Come on, we need Bee.” You reminded him, nodding in Simmons direction

“You got to take me to my car.” Sam said, then repeated when he was ignored. “You have to take me to my car. He’s gonna know what to do with the Cube.”

“Your car? It's confiscated.”

“Then unconfiscate it.” You stared blankly.

“We do not know what will happen if we let it near this thing! -“

“You don't know.”

“Maybe you know, but I don't know.”

You rolled your eyes at the insufferable mans rambling.

This was really was more about ego who was in control more than anything. The guy running the ship, clearly was on a power trip. Unfortunately for him he was facing off against soldiers . The Captain who’s eyes you could feel staring at the side of your face.

A Captain and his soldiers. Ones that really dont like to lose and take serving their country seriously.

The guy who arrested you earlier continue to argue with Sam about getting him back to bumblebee when Lennox finally pulled out his gun sick of the back-and-forth.

“Take him to his car!”

As soon as he did so all hell broke loose and everyone from both parties pulled out a weapon.

“Drop it!”

It wasn’t until One of the sector seven agents pointed a gun at the back of Will’s head that you disable to another agent and took his gun and pointed it directly and held it directly at the one pointing the gun at your ex.

“I really wouldn’t.” You warned.

You were no soldier, but Will have taught you plenty before you broke up. So did your brother, before he passed away. He actually served alongside Will but died in combat. Biking. That’s part of why you were so hurt when Will re-enlisted. When he got promoted to Captain and chose the army over you. You were terrified of losing him the way you lost your brother. The break up wasn’t that messy but you both said things you didn’t mean. In attempts to mask your own pain and hurt one another.

You know. Hurt people, hurt people.

It’s still came to no surprise that you put a bullet in someone to protect him. Together or not you’d never let anything happen to him.

“I'm ordering you under S-Seven executive jurisdiction-“ Simmons ranted.

“S-Seven don't exist.” You interjected, earning a quick appreciative glance from Will.

“Right. And we don’t take orders from people that don’t exist.”

“I’m gonna count to 5. Okay-“ Simmons attempted to threat yet again.

“Well, I’m gonna count to three.” Will deadpanned.

You knew that look. God did you know that look and it was so wrong that you were so turned on.

Finally the Secretary of defense interfered telling Simmons to do what was being asked of him. Everyone relaxed slight, weapons lowering.

“Y/n,”

“Captain.”

The Captain and couldn’t help but watch you how do you get up and prepare to go.

“So that’s her huh?” Epps commented as Will watched you run off with Sam.

“Yeah..” Will answered, mind racing.

While he knew he’d eventually see you again, he didn’t think it would be like this. You looked breath taking.

“Damn. Shorty had your back that entire time.”

“Gear up,”

“What I’m just saying I thought she was gonna put a cap in his.” Epps shouted after his Captain receiving no response.

Will knew you had his back, you always would, the same way he would always have yours. He thought of you often, the break up between two inescapable, never feeling like he did the right thing. You were always not too far from the front of his mind. Him wondering how you were doing. If you were happy. If you found somebody else. There was no doubt he regretted what had transpired between the two of you. It was his fault. He knew that. You knew that. He had ample opportunity to fight for you and he didn’t. When he was promoted Captain he felt he had to choose between you and the army. He didn’t choose you the way he should’ve. In reality he could’ve had both. However hr so caught up proven himself to his deadbeat dad that he possibly let the best thing that ever happened to him go.

Not to mention trying to atone for your brothers death. It wasn’t his fault, but he still couldn’t shake it. So without talking to you he reenlisted. Needless to say where that got him.

Now hear the both of you were in the middle of an alien war. Yeah. This is the last place he thought he’d see you.

You were numb. The battle on the highway enough to freak you out. For mommy, just a moment you thought this might be a dream but no. This is all very real. One minute you guys were just entering the city trying to lay low, next thing you know - BOOM! The explosion knocked all of you over, injuring some, killing a few. Bumblebee’s legs were partially blown off.

Getting up off the pavement you waited for the ringing in your ear to subside as you stood up, trying to study yourself when you felt a pair of arms hold you still.

You knew it was Will just by the way he touched you, you blinked hard trying not to go down memory lane.

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was enough to make your heart skip a bear.

“Yeah,” you nodded slowly. “Yeah I’m fine.”

Slowly you removed yourself from his grip and went to check on Sam and Mikaela. Ratchet on the other hand -

“Hmm. His pheromone levels are-“ you quickly turned on him and glared.

“Ratchet I’ll turn you into a can opener if you don’t shut the hell up.”

The robot nearly held his hands up in the surrendering position as he followed you. Will had arranged an aircraft to pick up Sam and the cube while everyone else defended themselves against the deceptive cons in a hurry to get the cube far far away before Megatron arrived. Sam was in a panic and so Michaela, you could see Will’s short fuse getting ready to exploded. It was then you decided to be an escort.

“Sam, you can’t do this alone.” Michaela fussed.

“He won’t be alone.” You commented, causing all parties involved to look at you.

“I’m going with you.” You declared.

“No.” Will didn’t even hesitated as he stepped closer to you.

“Captain Lennox-“

“No!” You grabbed him by the front of his beer and pushed him back.

“Do you see what going on out there?!” You continued to hold on to him and you yelled at him over there chose. “We’re at a war. One we are extremely ill prepared for. So get your shit together! Sam is my responsibility. I have to get this kid to safety.”

This time your hands slid up the side of his face forcing him to look at you.

“Y/n..” he breathed out leaning down toward you, and for the first time during all this madness you could visibly see he was afraid.

“I’ll be back, Will.” You assured him, briefly resting your forehead against his.

Gathering himself he pulled away, looking toward Sam then back at you.

“Go. Go!”

And then we were running.. With nothing but an M16 strapped to your back and the pistol in your hand, you ran faster than you ever have before.

The four of you were under attack once more, you and Sam doing what you had to, to avoid getting snatched up as a fight Ironhide and Ratchet defended you. Unfortunately you were too close to one of the cars that went up in flames and you were thrown into another car from the blast.

“Y/n!” You could feel the blood on your forehead as you slowly pushed yourself up. As you tried to stand you immediately stopped feeling the pain in your thigh. Looking down could see the damage that had been done. The blood surrounding the afflicted area.

“Wha- what, what do i do?!” Sam asked frantically once he took notice of your injury.

“You gotta keep going Sam. I’ll be fine.”

He stood fo his feet, unsure of what to do. When Ironhide told him the same thing.

“Go!” You screamed once more.

Sam left and continued to run without you as you, as quickly as possible, as you tore your focus away from him to pull the shard of glass in your leg out. Ripping a piece of your shirt off you tightly tied it around your thigh in order to stop the bleeding. There was no point in going forward now but the return back to everyone else and help them fight.

You just had to avoid getting killed in the process.

You seen a car steering wheel, a Mountain Dew vending machine and and Xbox all turn into one of those freaky ass robots right before your eyes. All of which you helped others fight off. It was so surreal. In fact, if it wasn’t for the constant ringing in your ear from all the explosions you definitely think you were dreaming. You almost made it back to Lennox and his men when another Decepticon stood between between you and your destinations. They were definitely taking a beating. You saw Epps shooting a green laser indicating the robot that doubled as a helicopter wasn’t a friendly and decided to do what you could to keep the Decepticon from getting any closer to them and hurting any more civilians. In an attempt to draw it away from everyone else, you begin to fire your weapon giving it everything you had.

Unfortunately, the side effective taking its attention off the others meant putting the attention on you.

You ran trying to duck and dodge a bullets now directed your way.

But Will. Will’s heart dropped. Seeing you there defending yourself alone. His pause was brief, the air forces plan already in motion, before he started the motorcycle and was speeding in your direction.

“William!” You screamed for him fearfully as he drove straight toward the robot.

The only thing you could hear was your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You almost couldn’t breathe, you don’t remember the last time you ever felt so scared in your life. But it wasn’t your life you feared for was it?

He rushed forward and slid under the robot continuing to firing the launcher. All you could do was watch as he drove toward you. Toward the danger your mind wondering if he did that on a regular basis. Was this the life of a soldier? What he went through day after day when he was deployed?

Standing up he only spared the parts of the dismembered robot a glance before shouting and turning looking for you. In a matter of seconds he was standing directly in front of you and pulling you into his arms.

Relief.

There was nothing like physically being about to touch someone, hold someone to really know they were okay.

“So…” you began, suddenly feeling nervous. “...That was hot-“

Before you were able to get another word in, he captured your lips with his kissing you roughly and bringing you closer, hands on the small of your back. You couldn’t help it kiss him back just as fiercely put in every emotion you had into that kiss.

Every ounce of passion he had in body, put into this kiss, your lips just as soft, kiss just as pure as he remembered. When you kissed, he knew he was a goner and could never let you go again.

It has been two years since the last time you guys have been this close. This intimate. Reconnected. The feeling it gave you, the indescribable feeling, was one neither one of you ever wanted to forgo again. Pulling back slowly, you both had smiles on your faces, Will pulling you closer to plant a kiss on your forehead.

“Excuse me,” Epps interrupted.

The both of you turning your attention on him.

“As cute as this shit is it’s highly inappropriate in the middle of the battle. I’m just saying we are trying to stay alive and shit.”

———————————————

Oh my fu- I don’t even know what this isssss

Couldn’t tell you what my original ideas was or nothing. I believed this was going to short-

I enjoyed writing it though! Shoutout again to @merakiaes for being on this lennox train with me lol

I’m just....I’m just gonna leave this mess here.

Bye

- Mo

—————————-

Tags: @merakiaes @lilythemadqueen

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

---

taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

[billyhottamale]

I'm feeling like a little shit soooo

Luz goes back to the isle and finda Eda, yey everyone's happy, that's what will happen right?

More likely they're leading a rebellion and "capture" Luz and everyone else so they don't fall for any of the collector's traps

Excited, Luz tells Eda how happy she is that she's fine and how Raine had promised they'd protect Eda, she's like, oh yeah they protected me alright, and Luz of course wants to know where they are, and Eda holds her hands and strucks her face and just goes, really soft, hey kid, they protected me, just like they had promised, and starts tearing up and trying to cover up

Of course she says something inspiring after, about how they're doing so well against the collector and all and tries to be grateful for everything, she'll probably want to show Luz around or present her to the team(probably asked to speak to them first and let them know their loved ones are fine, so now she has to actual show them that)

But she shows them the way and they start leaving and Luz calls back for Eda and just tells her that's she's sorry, and Eda will probably say she's sorry too and they either hug or Eda just tells her, cmon we can't keep everyone waiting, or something like that

I just don't see Dana losing an opportunity to make us cry right in the beginning, I mean if you wait to watch season 3 only when everything is aired then I'm sure Dana would be delighted to see you start crying again as soon as the next one starts

We're already sad with the first ending, take a bathroom/snack break, you're better, you say? Not anymore, here's something you've had enough time to forget about

And don't get me started on Hunter, will he have Darius? He's going to have to tell him the truth, and then someone will ask about what Luz said and he'll have to talk about(but I do believe they'll give Luz some space to tell Hunter she told everyone, it's the correct way to do things)

Honestly I feel like they were trying to get them out of the ambulance situation, even if Hunter was a real witch and not made of some else's corpse, he probably couldn't be taken care by human doctors

And while we're on the subject, props to Camilla, they're in the US and she's trying her best to care for 6 children, 5 of whom are probably picky eaters(not exactly counting Vee as she is more used to the food, but you get what I'm trying to say), and her first instinct was to have medical care for Hunter which would leave in a lot of debt, I'm not from the US but I know how expensive medical care is, just calling an ambulance is insane, and this woman was ready to go all out for a kid she never asked for, hell she went all out for Vee even after learning she had tricked her and was actually some sort of "monster"

See kids, this is what happens when you take your adhd meds, you go off on a huge rant for something that was meant to be rather small, this was because of Raine, how did I get here

I might make another post about how awesome Camilla is because I can't get enough of her and I have no one to talk to about this show

[ilovebokutokoutaro]

Faded

Langa x reader

Warnings : self harm, mental abuse, physical abuse, crying, screaming, abandoning, depression, blood and angst and angst, not proofread.

Overview : Angst.

When your boyfriend, langa, left for japan, you knew you'd be lonely. They were your only family, you had no one except them, his father's death had hit you so hard you could kill yourself but you had to stay strong for langa. Living alone with no one by your side soon became a routine, the routine you had before you met langa, his family, they loved you.

Your father was straight up a drunkard and your mother, let's just say she opened legs for other men more than she opened her arms for you to hug or if she ever did.

You couldn't leave to stay with langa and his family, when your parents fought, resulting with you lying in your room after being hit by them, they needed to let their anger out and who was the best to blame except you? You were the reason they were both like this, they had said, hitting you over and over untill they calmed themselves down.

Your friends were worried for you, not only had langa left but also you were covered in new bruises and injuries almost every other day, barely eating or talking.

Langa called daily at first but soon his calls lied from once a week to once a month before you could comprehend anything that was happening. He would tell you everything about japan, his new friend reki, how he met so many people who skated so amazingly it was enchanting. Maybe the network wasn't so good on his side, that must be the reason he couldn't see your eyes hanging dull, your body looked like nothing but bones and skin, all the bruises, the injuries must be not so visible with a poor network.

He loved you afterall, he'd worry too much either way so it's okay. "Oh God reki is so awesome, you know y/n" and the rest you never heard your ears ringing in pain, as much as you wanted to listen to him, it hurt. The way he ignored all your well being and focused on some strangers he had met just a few months ago. it hurt so much but you couldn't speak it out, so you chose to end the call abruptly.

Sobbing into your knees, you sat on the bed feeling ever so lonely, you were starting to question everything and anything. Why were you even alive at this point, if only you died somehow. Soon it became a routine, crying till you passed out for an hour or so then getting up to go to school.

Your social media had died down to nothing, your life had died down to nothing. You were so tired of everything at this point, a murdered would stab you with a knife and you'd thank him for it. Soon langa's facetimes turned into voicecalls after your abrupt ending of the call.

You'd still receive calls from his mother but you barely picked them anymore, to say she was worried was an understatement. But langa was so busy, so happy with his life she couldn't get to tell him how worried she was for you.

you had started deeming yourself unworthy of living, of being with anyone, the mental and physical abuse from your parents only worsening to the point you couldn't breathe straight. You had switched to self harm as a coping method sooner than you had thought.

Not long before suicidal thoughts picked at your brain all the time, you were starting to fail classes, anyone could see how miserable you were, but no one ever cared enough to talk to you, or so you said, pushing everyone out.

It's been weeks since you last talked to langa, since you last went to school, choosing to burry yourself in your room instead. You parents were happier than ever, there abuse starting to get negligible, they weren't even near you anymore. your mother being pregnant with another child from your father. They were ecstatic, but you were not a part of it, the celebration stayed between them and their friends, tho your parents had started treating you better.

You found yourself falling deeper the more you struggled, your mental health declining to the point you were starting to loose all hopes in yourself. Your hate for others soon turned to hate for yourself and your self harm increased, many times your father would see your lying in you bedroom with bloody wrists, they were all worried for you, they stated, "go to therapy, y/n. We don't want to loose you" your mother sobbed to which you stayed there not moving. She hugged you, cried till you nodded your head. But therapy brought no good, just dragging you further down.

Langa had started getting worried sick and so was his mother, he had ranted about everything to his friends, whatever your friends told him. He wanted to talk to you even if once more, but you were fixed on isolating yourself more and more.

It was not long before you called langa, "I'm sorry, i was busy" you said, your voice was nothing more than emotionless and he begged you to tell him what was wrong but you stayed silent, his worry soon ending up with him screaming for you but you never answered. Not before he heard a loud crack and your parents screaming your name.

Langa stood frozen as he heard your parents cry and scream for you to wake up. He just wanted to pretend you were okay and alive. He was sitting in joe's restaurant, silently sipping the juice he was given as reki and shadow tried to distract him, suddenly his phone rang cutting off the awkward silence, and his mother told him to stay wherever he was and that she was coming to pick him up.

He just wanted to pretend you were okay, but it all came shattering down as his mother banged the door open, her face stained with tears as she fell on her knees sobbing and crying about how you had hanged yourself the day you called him, everyone remained silent, langa only sitting there not moving a muscle, oh God he wished he had stayed with you just a bit longer, called you a bit often, asked you if you were okay, he was selfish so selfish, if only he had noticed everything before maybe just maybe you would be talking to him rn.

Reki and shadow tried to comfort his mother who was now sobbing on the ground while langa just sat there frozen. He never thought a little lack of his concern could drive you to killing yourself. He wanted to blame someone and as much as he hated it he was the only right choice he found. Langa's phone pinged, a message from your mother's number. A page, stained with blood and tears, coming in his sight.

He saw your beautiful handwriting turn into nothing but a mess,

"I'm sorry, i love you i swear i do. But it was so hard living like this langa, there was no one, no one. I was so lonely so lonely, i thought cutting myself would do me any good, but it only drove me into more hunger for blood, and soon i wanted more than the stinging pain against my skin. I wanted to kill myself before i even knew it, you looked so happy when you called me that time. Stay smiling like that for me forever won't you? I'm sorry again langa i love you."

The letter was so abrupt as if you were in a hurry, as if you were dying. And he started sobbing before he knew it, surprising not only himself but everyone around him. His mother only teared up more she saw him crying. Cherry and joe desperately trying to calm the mother and son down.

It was a mess, the mess you left behind for them to handle, the mess you were going through all alone now cut short and stuck to everyone who loved you. Maybe if they all noticed sooner you'd have been here. Maybe just maybe if they told you they loved you sooner you would've been here.

..........

A/n: hey, so uhm idk i just wrote this in a flow. Just know if you, or someone you know is going through Something you can always seek help or go try to help someone, nothing you'd say to a depressed person would ever be meaningless, maybe your kindness saves a soul. Hope you all are doing fine hahhaha. Lot of angst for a day whew.

Anyway, thank you for reading🥺🥰🥰. Reblogs and likes are always appreciated 🥺☺️💜

[henqtic]

learning- d.m

- summary: one where Draco learns how to do your hair, you being a poc- more specifically a black girl with curly hair :)

- word count: 1.4k

- warnings: mentions of being insecure about your hair

- more works with black/ poc readers → Hat & “just one more hour”

- masterlist | gif creds | taglist form |

——

“Draco I love you but— just not that much,” you said through a grimace, only making him roll his eyes again.

Draco was always one to offer you help on wash days, knowing how much time it took you to do all of that on your own and honestly, you appreciated that.

But today as the conditioner was getting combed through your hair, he brought up the idea of doing it for you— And no he didn’t mean the basic task of combing a product through your hair, but he meant actually doing it.

And it wasn’t that you thought he could... Of course not. And as dramatic as it sounds, you didn’t want to take the risk. What you mean by that is that Draco is someone you would classify as a mom friend.

Being called a mom friend wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it was one of those good titles that any person would want to have in a friend group. And even though Draco didn’t seem like the type, he was always that person to make sure everyone else was taken care of— even if it was in his own way.

It could vary from making sure everyone’s assignments were done in time to them eating enough and the really surprising one— comforting people.

And you could tell that he wasn’t completely comfortable or familiar with it but he tried his best when he needed to.

You had caught him many times in some corner trying to comfort some first year Slytherins a few days into the school year because they missed their parents and when he did see you, he’d give you a look of ‘this never happened’.

But being a mom wasn’t an easy job, there were times where’d they’d get angry because a kid had the great idea to draw on the walls instead of on the paper right beside them. And to say Draco fit that role perfectly was an understatement.

He once not only scolded Daphne for forgetting her sunscreen when you went on a trip to the beach but he also provided her a lengthy lecture on how she could’ve easily have gotten sunburned and we would’ve had to drive around with a flaky friend.

You couldn’t lie that it was amusing to see an adult get scolded by another adult like a five year old but to be on the receiving end didn’t sound too fun.

——

And you had to admit that sometimes you did miss that routine you had with your mom on early Sunday mornings.

She’d tell you to get the bucket of hair supplies and you’d take your place to sit in between her legs, allowing her to start combing and brushing your hair into whatever style she saw fit for the next few days.

The small conversations that were held between you and her weren’t important in any way— you couldn’t remember half of the words spoken now but it meant a lot to you in the sense that it was a calm- ish period for you and her to talk about mother and daughter things.

But every good thing just had to have a downside and this one was a shared experience amongst many people in your community.

Uncooperative hair.

And it seemed that you had one of the most. You tried, really, but you could never keep your head still or neck at a specific angle for too long, and that only led to hair tugging and you in almost tears.

And maybe thinking was a little flawed. But you were still scared that Draco would do just the same if you allowed him.

And that’s exactly what you voiced and of course, he said that wasn’t a good enough argument and continued to go on and on about all of the reasons you should let him and how it would have benefits for the both of you.

——

“You know, it would show how much I care,” he said, providing yet another reason as to why you should let him do it.

“You’re showing how much you care right now— I promise,” you assured, eyes skimming the bathroom to find the heated shower cap.

“But what if there’s a day where you’re too tired to do it and then I could do it all by myself?”

He was close to convincing you but he failed to remember the fact that there actually were days where you were too tired to do it but you still woke up very early just to do some style that you had set in your mind.

And even then, your eyes were barely opened so if you had to do it now, you would be too phased.

“What about our future kids? What’s supposed to happen when I have no idea how to do their hair?”

Kids. They weren’t something you actively talked about but it was for sure something you wanted to have in the future. And he was right, even if you didn’t want to admit it.

Even if the hair type that he had was far from many black people, it wouldn’t make sense for a child’s own father to not know the basic needs of their hair— including how to do it.

“Fine— but if I feel one tug I won’t hesitate to get up and leave,” you threatened, pointing a comb at him and playfully narrowing your eyes at him to add effect. He only snatched it out of your hand while smiling in success and happiness.

“You won’t regret it.”

Deja vu; it was the only term that could describe what you were feeling at this moment of finding yourself in between someone’s legs, waiting for them to do your hair.

And while Draco was a little clueless, it was cute. You really didn’t mean to laugh when asked what happened to one of the combs that were missing a third of its teeth, but the look of pure shock on his face was too funny for you to resist the laugh that bubbled out.

And telling the truth, the experience wasn’t half as bad as you expected it to be. There weren’t too many snags or tugs along the way or rough actions— it was calm and gentle. And having to assist him on what product to put on your hair and when to do it was rare.

It was heartwarming really, knowing that he had actually been paying attention when he’d sit there and watch you in the bathroom for an hour or so after your hair had been washed.

That he had been listening when you’d rant about how hard it was dealing with your hair and how it would never look the right way even though there is no right way for natural hair to look.

It was the pure knowledge that he actually meant the words he spoke to you that made you so happy; how he’d hold your face in both of his hands and tell how beautiful both you and your hair were and the only reason you should ever think about relaxing it was if you wanted to do it for yourself and not because it would be more accepted by judge full eyes.

It was nice to know that he wasn’t just saying those things because he felt some sort of obligation but that it came from the heart.

——

Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you were looking at now; not only did your hair look moisturized but the style had come out somewhat good.

You were a little surprised and Draco noticed that too. “You look surprised,” he pointed out in a smug tone, eyes finding their way to look into your wide ones through the mirror. “I’m not surprised, I'm just— how did you do so well?” You questioned, body turning to face his.

“Love don’t tell me you— Di- Did you really doubt me?” He gasped, dramatically placing his right hand over his heart to further feign his ‘hurt’.

“Okay, I did doubt you in—”

gasp

“In the beginning, but now that I actually saw how you did, I regret it. And thank you for being willing to learn,” you continued, this time not getting interrupted by his dramatics.

“It was the least I could do for you,” he assured, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your cheek. “Me and your mum weren’t talking about your abnormally sized head for nothing.”

“Hey! My head is a perfectly normal size.” 

“Yeah alright,” he said unconvinced, cracking his knuckles and shaking his hand. “My hands had to pay the price too.”

“You're an idiot Draco—”

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[its-me-im-coraline]

Since we were younger // Thomas Raggi

words // 1441

warnings // fluff and angst

pairing // Thomas Raggi x F!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. i was planning on putting this photo on some headcannons so if you see it twice in my fics excuse me lol. I actually really fucking loved this trope omg, it came out pretty good! I'm also excited cause i keep writing more and more words as i go with writing fanfiction and yay im excited.

request // yes, here and here

summary // Reader is Victoria’s sister and the same age as Thomas. The two were in the same class in school, always around each other and even more as they grew older. Lots of angsty emotions and mutual pinning later Victoria invites her sister to the Maneskin house were all the secrets come out.

It all started at a young age. They met as kids, maybe around the age of six, never once thinking of each other as anything more than friends. They would play around, yell at each other, get hurt and take care of one another; and all over again went the cycle. The though of love was not in the picture yet, not that they would understand it.

As teenage years rolled around is when they first started seeing the symptoms of feelings in their behaviors. Y/N was the first to notice her feelings, understanding very quickly that she were simply fucked. It was a simple moment, one that under most circumstances would go unnoticed - but that’s how love is, it hits you like a lightning, no warning, no nothing.

It was a Sunday, she remembers that distinctively, it was after the band was all together and grouping us at the home studio to work on their music, inviting some friends over to help them relax after working all day. Victoria had obviously invited her little sister to tag along, knowing very well that even is she didn’t a very tall blonde skinny boy would. It was literally nothing out of th ordinary, Y/N was just sitting next to Thomas, feet dipped in the pool, the moon was up lighting up the space just enough for the two to see each other as they spoke about nothing and everything. The conversation started about foods continuing to games and movies and then fighting over movie characters and in that moment Y/N knew. She caught herself looking at the boy for a little too long, touching her leg to his as they sat too close on the pool side. She found herself longing to be held by him, but she kept it in. She knew that with their career taking off she had no chance to be with Thomas.

Victoria was the second person to figure out that either of the two teenagers had feelings for each other. Not few were the times she would catch her sister stealing glances at the band’s guitarist, or hugging him for longer than anyone else. She also was not blind and she could see how they held each other during those summer nights they spend by the pool, before and during the aforementioned visit. They clung onto each other for dear life, becoming pouty when either had to go for a few minutes. Originally she ignored it writing off as them just being… well, them - considering that that’s how they were together since they were children, until one day the younger girl confided in her when they were back at their own house.

“I think I really like him, Vic.”

“That’s amazing, Y/N! Oh my, that’s good news! Thomas is a good guy-”

“Yeah, but one that does not want me and would struggle to be with me now.”

“Why would he stru-”

“Vic, are you blind?! Do you not see your life right now? You are working like crazy, show here, show there… Dami already had a relationship and he’s struggling to keep up, let alone me with Thomas, on a new relationship,” she rambled, telling herself that this would be the only reason Thomas would not want to be with her; or at least she was trying to convince herself that she really cared about that reasoning.

Victoria said nothing after that, dropping the subject but never forgetting her sister’s thoughts. Instead she opted to observing the two younger teenagers. It was extremely obvious how they harbored feelings for each other, at least until Thomas got into a short-lived relationship.

Y/N was heartbroken, going back to her sister in hopes of calming her mind and tears. Being Thoma’s best friend came with all the complaining about ‘why doesn’t she show that she likes me’ until he asked her out and the ‘she is so amazing, last night this…’ type of conversations. She could not refuse him an outlet to rant, that’s what they did since they were kids, rant about the good and the bad, never judging each other. But this time Y/N could not take it. It all felt too much, feeling the pain of rejection and feeding her own head with insecurities day after day… she broke, in the arms of Victoria.

The third people to figure it out were both Ethan and Damiano. They happened to be sitting next to each other as Thomas stormed in the living room, fuming from his anger, his face being red, ready to burst.

“What’s gotten your knickers in a twist, buddy?” Asked Damiano, always in good spirit but truly surprised at his friends expression.

Thomas looked like he could not possibly get any angrier but that was proven wrong as Damiano finished his question. He slowly turned his head to face him, giving him a glare before huffing and looking at the floor. “She’s dating him.” He spit out the last word as if venom, pointing at a photo on his phone.

It was a photo of Victoria’s sister, sitting on the lap of a boy they both knew in school. Y/N sent it to Thomas while letting him know of her current flirt. She never believed it would become very serious, so she did not think to much of this conversation. Truth be told, she knew Thom was in a relationship which is the reason she looked into dating other people. She kept thinking how she should not stay like that, wallowing in the pain he was so oblivious towards, but her mind would not drift far away.

“Didn’t you go to school with him?” Asked Ethan, more to Damiano than Thomas, knowing the latter was to livid to respond.

“Yes. He’s a year older than them, His name’s Ignazio,” he responded, turning back to the youngest of the three. “So what exactly is your problem. You have a girlfriend.”

Thomas huffed, again, at Damiano’s words, looking down, being truly unaware as to why he even bothered. “He -agh… He just is not good enough for her. I just care for my best friends, you wouldn’t understand.” He pulled his phone out of Ethan’s hands, storming of the room.

At that the two remaining boys shared a knowing look, understanding very well that if Thomas did not figure out his feelings soon, the two would have problems.

The last person to understand was Thomas. It was the latest time the band had gotten to the studio home with their friends. It was right after eurovision, Thomas’ relationship was long broken at that point, Y/N’s as well. This time around the two were sitting at the steps of the patio, cigarette held between trembling hands, as the chilly night took over them. She looked so cold, so vulnerable, so fucked out after spending all day by the pool, swimming and sunbathing. Oh, to be the sun looking down at her, touching her beautiful face with the hot rays. Thomas was infatuated, taken aback by just how wonderful she looked that night, her skin glowing under the moonlight. As she sat there shivering is when Thomas realized he liked her- no, no, was in love with her, and he knew he had to act now.

“Are you cold, dolcessa? I have a jacket you can borrow.”

“I do actually,” she whispered, not sure if it was truly ok for her to even say it.

“Give me a moment, I’ll bring it,” Thomas responded, smashing his cigarette on the tray and practically running inside to bring his jacket.

As he came back he laid the piece of fabric on the girl’s back, making a point of holding her close afterwards, giving her extra warmth. “Is this any better?”

“Perfect,” she sighed, settling into the boy’s arms.

“You know, Y/N… You look absolutely beautiful right now.” He decided to be bold this moment, he couldn’t wait any longer, in fears of any more Ignazios taking her away.

“Oh, do I?”

“You do. I-I just want to say I like you,” he let out, not even thinking of what to say, quickly thinking that his way of expressing it was idiotic.

“You do?”

“I do, Y/N, truly. And it took me too long to realize.”

“Maybe you are a bit clueless, if you think about it,” she laughed, placing her palms on his sweet face. “You sweet, sweet puppy,” she said in a soft tone, all the while eying the man’s lips.

“Well, why don’t you make this sweet puppy very happy and just… kiss me?”

“Maybe I will.”

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie

[pvrpleblccd]

As the world caves in.

syposis : It was now or never. This was his only chance, never will he have another chance like this.

pairing : dreamwastaken x f.reader

tw : angst, sad, tradegy, death, mentions of death/suicide, mc going through a very rough time

~

ᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴄᴀᴠᴇs ɪɴ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴍᴀʟᴛᴇs

I fell on my knees, looking at my family laying on the floor, white foam and another odd colour of a substance coming out of their mouths. My hand started to tremble as I reached out for my little siblings hand. It was cold. I couldn't help, but sob. Looking at their faces made me weak, it was pale, way too pale and far from its original tone. Their expressions will be one that will be engraved with me, they looked somehow peaceful, if it wasn't for the foam, we could mistaken for them to be asleep.

I put my palm on their cheeks, taking in their features for the last time, they're so young, way too young. They barely lived. There's so much ahead of them. They were looking forward to their lives, I was supposed to watch them grow up and see them graduate. Watch them enjoy their lives and, maybe, them eventually becoming parents.

My head suddenly turned to my parents, I looked at their faces and both of them held a small smile with dried tears clearly noticeable on their faces. My eyes glanced down on their hands, they were hold each other's hands, with their wedding rings on. Another sob came out of my mouth and hoped that they were able to move on with their next life. I felt a tiny happy feeling inside of me, my parents were divorced and they separated, but seeing them like this.. It made me feel.. somehow happy.

My tears were never ending. They kept on falling as I let out a scream. It hurt. My family is gone, without me, and soon I too will be gone. But I did not wanted to go, not yet.. Not alone. I got up and grabbed a blanket, placing it over my family. I noticed one of our gardening flowers in the living room, it was withering, but I took it and placed it on top of the blanket.

"Thank you.. For everything. I hope you were able to move on. I love you all... May we meet again."

A hiccup escaped my mouth, I quickly wiped my tears even though they kept on coming. My eyes went to the TV, the timer kept on going down and flashing, reminding me the time I had left to live the life I couldn't live at its fullest. I clenched my jaw and threw the closest thing to me on it, which was a family frame and made my way to the front door, locking it, out of habit and looked at my house I've lived it for the past 18 years.

All the good and bad memories flashing in my head, finally arriving to the conclusion even if I mostly had downs, I've enjoyed many moments of it. I was still glad to be able to live, experiencing things, even though I would have experienced more. Then the feeling of regret came to me, I shouldn't have wasted the time and moments I locked myself up in my room.

"Goodbye... My memory box."

With that, I made my way to the usual hangout of my friends and I. There was one more thing I wanted to say to someone first. The thought of them gone came across my head and my walking became jogging then running. The people in the streets were wildly insane. Some celebrating, some were trying to loot places before entering their bunkers, some were making out, some were crying. There were too many things happening, it terrified me. The sirens started to go and a mix of screaming, cheering and crying could be heard.

"I don't have much time... I need to see him... Its- AHH!"

The sound of guns could be heard, people started to shoot each other and a bunch of troubled people descended their vehicles and screamed 'We're all going to die soon, give up your life already'. That sentence caused a havoc amongst the people, bodies started to flop on the ground and blood spattered everywhere, this made me run faster. I stop dead in my tracks as I came face to face with the silent guy in my physics class who I would always bring his favourite chocolate chips cookie. My hands immediately went up as soon as I saw the crossbow he was holding.

“Nerd.”

Every step he took, made me insides hurt me even more. I would always try to cheer him up or make him smile or even get to open up, in the end I would always be the one ending up talking about how much of a wuss I am when I would always fail to get along with him again. He came up to me, his long pink hair swaying by his side, I closed my eyes and waited for the agonizing pain, but it never came, instead, I was engulfed in a warm hug. My eyes shot wide open as I returned the hug and squeezed the man.

“Thank you for being a wonderful friend to me. You made me feel things that a normal teenager should feel. What do they call it? Fireflies? No, I think it was butterflies. But too bad, it’s time to say goodbye now. I do admit, I will miss your rants.”

“Techno-“

“Dave, now go. Go to him.”

“Dave… thank you.”

I felt him give a small peck on my cheek before he turns away gracefully, I fully took note of what he was wearing, it was beautiful. He was dressed as if he was a king or even a god, his red cape flowing through the wind perfectly. I smiled and continued my course. After making turns, I finally arrived to the hangout spot, my running turned into jogging then walking, then I finally stopped, seeing his tall figure and his signature long brown coat and beanie.

"Wil-"

There he was. Comforting her, whispering things in her ear. The both of them were sitting on the bench we made, so the whole gang could fit in it. She looked up to him, her tears still falling down. I saw him lean in and she did the same thing. My breathing stopped. My head and thoughts went numb. Both of their eyes closing, lips about to touch. Before I could see the action happen, I was turned around, my face making contact with a torso and my body embraced in a hug. My sobs were silenced by the loud sirens. It hurts. He knew I liked him, he knew and now he's there kissing Niki.

My best friend.

I confessed to him, only to have him tell me he wanted space to think. Niki knew I liked him as well, hell she was the one who helped me gather my courage to go confess to him. Was I that oblivious to not notice the sudden change in Wilbur's behaviour whenever he saw Niki close or the way he talked, always harsh to me, but always soft to Niki? And the look he held in his eyes when I'm with him, nothing but boredom and annoyance and when Niki showed up, his eyes would light up and smile immediately. He would always find a way to finis the conversation quickly so that he can go talk with her.

I was blinded by what I thought was love.

"Let it out.. Let it all out y/n."

I recognized who it was just by the sound of his voice. Clay. I hugged him tighter, before my knees gave up, the both of us ending up on the ground. Never once Clay let me go. His arms were around me in a protective manner, his hand caressing my back and felt him humming something, head still on his chest.

Clay.

The one who was always been there for me when I was at my lowest and needed someone. The one who always took me out of my cave of a room when I was sad. The one who would stay up all night to play games with me. The one who helped me the most when my older sibling died. The one who would encourage me to go hang out with Nick, George and him when the others were having a chill hangout when I wasn't invited. The one who always cheered me up when I was gloomy and unwell. The one who always visited me whenever I missed a day in school.

He was the one who truly cared about my health.

The only one who truly cared about me.

I looked up to him, taking in all his features for the first time. His freckles sprayed perfectly on his face, his blonde hair was displayed in a messy way, they were wavy, reminded me of Wilbur's. His eyes were closed, eyelashes long as ever, lips looking plum and nose looking boopable. He wore a simple outfit, jeans with black converse and his signature lime green hoodie with a smiley face of it. The small breeze made his hair slightly move to the wind and made his eyes open. Those beautiful emerald green eyes.

Oh, they were the prettiest colour I've ever seen. Just looking at them, I got lost in them. They would always gave me a sort of warm and welcoming feeling. How could've I not looked at him like this before? Never once I fully took in his features. Clay, is the most beautiful man I've ever seen.

Why was I always focused on Wilbur?

When the one who truly cared for me, was always by my side?

A wave of guilt hit me, my vision becoming blurry ones again, Clay must've felt my shaking and heard my sobs once again. He looked down to me, eyes meeting each other's and a soft smile came across is beautiful face. I was no longer held in a hug, but his hands made contact with my cheeks, cupping them. He wiped away my tears with his thumb and put his forehead on mine. I found it selfish that I enjoyed this, Clay was always there for me and I wasn't able to pay his kindness.

"Clay... Why? You were always there for me, but.. I don't understand.. why?"

"It's you, y/n. It's always been you. I was head over heels for you, ever since I saw you for the first time. As we grew closer, I fell even more for you. Y/n, you're a wonderful woman, you're fucking gorgeous and you're amazing. Wilbur's a fucking asshole for not accepting you, the man fucked up and seeing you losing your smile.. It broke me. It fucking broke me. I didn't want you to lose that precious smile. You're an amazing person and you deserve the world, I.. I couldn't give you all of the things you deserve.

You went through so much and it always broke me seeing you unwell and unstable. I don't know how you do it... You're so fucking strong. After all that.. You still managed to keep a smile and be an optimist. I know that happy persona is nothing but a front, I know, trust me. — he paused for a moment, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear — Darling, you have no idea how lucky and happy I am to be able to see the real you. Every moment I spent with you, were the best moments in my life, Y/n."

I took in all of his words and played them in my head several times. I felt his thumb caressing my cheeks and hear him sniffle. I noticed the tears rolling down his face and this made something explode in my heart. I never saw Clay cry. Never once this man showed any sign of sadness or whatsoever before. Taking in on the fact that he was always on the one sided love destroyed me. He was making sure I was doing okay even though it meant to destroy him.

My thoughts were fighting against each other. All of the moments I have spent with Clay played in my head all over again. Remembering all of the times he would make me blush, because we would compliment me. The times were we would tease each other. The times were we would both pretend to be lovers just to be able to get 'couple discounts' and 'couple contests'. The moments I truly felt happy. And finally... The moment he would always make my heart skip a beat and give me butterflies. All of the thoughts led me to one conclusion that was written everywhere, all of the signs were there, but I was too blind actually see it...

Clay was the one I truly loved.

My eyes flickered to the object in the sky, slowly but quickly approaching us. I panicked and placed my hands on his cheeks. He looked at me in the eyes, his were red due to the crying and his expression was even more hard to take in. My breathing started to quicken, I shook my head, wanting to talk with him more, figure things out, but the object in the sky was making me stressed.

"Why..?! W..Why haven't you said anything Clay..?! I... Why only now??"

He looked up seeing the nukes coming closer and clenched his jaw. He once again faced me and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes immediately closed, suddenly forgetting about everything happening around us. Never wanting for this moment to end. When he pulled away, he pulled me back to reality. The sounds of the nukes coming was getting louder and louder. The lights started to blind my view.

"Clay.. Clay! N..No.. We can talk about this... I.. We can fix this... We can..."

Clay engulfed me in a hug, caressing me, trying to calm my horrified self. I clung onto the man whom I've realized, was the one. My cries were loud, I felt drops of water on my shoulder. He too was crying. Kissing my forehead on last time, he smile at me saying his final words.

"In another life... Maybe, it will be meant to be."

I looked at him for the last time, accepting my fate and gave him a genuine smile, for the first time.

"I love you."

unedited

published : June 20 2021, 4:40 am

modified : August 25 2021, 12:25pm

[sweetcherrypie1967]

Narcissa’s Secret

It was a little known fact that Narcissa Malfoy was a skilled legilimens and occlumens, even more so than her sister Bellatrix. It was how she was able to be part of the Death Eater meetings without having a Dark Mark herself. It pained her that she wasn't able to save her son from the fate she was able to avoid. It pained Narcissa that her husband was foolish enough to jump into such a fate head first, damning the rest of his family without so much as consulting them.

She had begging Lucius to let their son choose his own fate, Narcissa would have begging the Dark Lord himself not to do it but it was her husband who insisted on it. It shattered her heart, hearing Draco's pain filled screams echo throughout the Manor.

Her baby boy, forced to be just like those monsters.

Narcissa tried talking Draco into leaving, run off to any corner of the world to get out and start over or even go to Dumbledore's group. In the beginning Draco had scoffed at the idea but the more she pushed, the more she could see him consider it. While he never went out and said it, there's been a definite change in him compared to when she first brought it up all those months ago.

Now she was standing silently, watching as they brought in the Potter boy, one of the Weasley's offspring and the muggleborn girl. Narcissa noticed a shift in Draco that no one else but his mother would catch, she began watching him closely. She tried to hide a smile as he lied about knowing their identity, Draco's ears always turned pink when he lied. It was a tell that she made sure no one else knew about, not even Lucius.

"Take them all to the dungeons...all except for the Mudblood,"

Narcissa could practically feel the anger radiating off of Draco. It confused her why his reaction was so strong, she knew he didn't want anyone to be harmed let alone someone he knew -he wasn't a monster- but he was always going on about how much Draco 'hated' Potter's pet.

Then it clicked.

The change in him, his reaction earlier and his now. They were all connected, it was because of her!

Just to be positive she cast a silent legilimens on the girl while everyone else was distracted. Her mind was very strong, but once Bella had her way..it weakened significantly. Narcissa didn't have to look to see how pained he was when the girl's screams began. Echoing throughout his own home while he could do nothing but stand there.

What Narcissa saw in her mind shocked her beyond belief.

She searched through her memories, looking for anything to do with her son, when she stumbled upon something no one was supposed to find.

It was Draco and Hermione...kissing! As if they'd done it millions of times before. It was the most prominent memory she could find with him in it, and it was only a few months old. But..too soon to be in Hogwarts. Narcissa's mind instantly went to one of the days Voldemort wasn't in Malfoy Manor, he had left the Manor to visit his friends at Zabini Manor. Narcissa had suspected he was leaving something out of his story, but allowed it. Now, she knew what he was really up to.

She went through what seemed like hundreds of other memories, them sitting together on a couch talking, in the Astronomy Tower after curfew watching the stars and laughing with many more. Narcissa has never seen Draco look as happy as he was in these memories. One in particular caught her attention, unlike most others she saw it was more sad than happy. It was in the Astronomy Tower.

"Please Draco, don't go," Hermione begged in a whisper through her tears.

Draco gave her a sad smile, he wanted to oh so badly. "We both know that I need to go, it's what's best for the Order," Draco said.

"You don't have too! It's too dangerous, please. Dumbledore will understand. Don't leave me," Hermione begged, looking at him with glassy eyes.

They stared at each other for a moment, both hearts breaking at what had to be done.

"Hermione, you don't know how much I wish I could stay. I'd never leave your side through all this rubbish, but you heard the Headmaster. The Order needs me to spy on them. If I can earn their trust, if I can prove to Dumbledore and Potter and even bloody Weasley that I've changed. That I can be who you deserve, then I have to do it," Draco said.

"I don't care what Harry and Ron think-" Draco gave her a disbelieving look, "ok yes I do but I'm going to be with you no matter what. If they don't think you're worthy of me then that's their own bloody problem because I know you are and..I love you,"

Draco's eyes snapped to hers, searching for her sincerity before his face broke out in a grin, "I love you too, Granger."

They both kissed and the memory faded.

Narcissa's son was in love with Potter's pet? Hermione Granger? More importantly, he was working as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix?! Part of her was ecstatic, her son found love and took her advice to get out of this life Lucius had lay out for them! Another part, however, was scared. Being a spy, let alone for spying on Voldemort himself, was very dangerous business. If one was spying on the Dumbledore, they wouldn't have the guts to kill them but Voldemort wouldn't think twice about it.

Narcissa's focus was abruptly interrupted by the whole ordeal with Potter and Weasley saving Hermione and escaping with Dobby. She wasn't expecting her ex House Elf to be their savior but as long as they were going someplace safe. Narcissa knew Dobby used to enjoy listening to Draco rant and rave about the Potter boy and his little group. It was plain that he became fascinated, she wasn't sure if he simply didn't understand her son's sarcasm or just read between the lines.

Once the whole ordeal was done she practically dragged Draco into a separate room and cast every silencing charm she knew on it. She rounded on him and she could see he was guarded and..scared? Draco's fists were shaking along with the rest of him, probably trying to gain enough self control not to go after Bella for what she did.

"Would you mind telling me what that was all about?" Narcissa asked him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean with the Granger girl," she said and he set his jaw defensively, "I saw her memories, Draco. I know you switched sides..and I know you love her."

His shoulders dropped slightly but he was still on guard. Just because she knew doesn't mean she wouldn't tell, it pained Narcissa that Draco would even think she would put him in danger like that.

"What's there to tell if you already know everything?" Draco said.

"Well I didn't have quite the time to see everything, and I'd like an explanation," Narcissa said.

“How do I know you won’t go off and tell Father or the Dark Lord himself,” he said.

“Because I’m your mother, Draco,” she said softly, “I would never intentionally put you in any danger if I could prevent it. I love you more than life itself.”

He sighed in defeat, "Hermione, she caught me..in a vulnerable moment. I was overwhelmed by my task and the fact my plans never seemed to work. She offered for me to join their cause, even full immunity for me and you. After all you've said, I've been thinking about it and I accepted. I think it surprised her almost as much as it surprised me," Draco said with a slight laugh remembering, "we went to Dumbledore and he made a plan. It was decided that I was to spy in His ranks and give information back and forth, though only the bare minimum of members knew about my involvement. Me and Hermione began meeting secretly if I received any information and she would keep me updated with anything she was allowed to inform me. As time went on though, it wasn't always about the Order. I fell in love with her and she says she loves me too," he concluded with a warm smile.

"That settles it," Narcissa said sternly. Draco waited anxiously for her next words, "we're getting you out."

"Out? I'm a spy, I can't leave," he said confused.

"The Order already has spies in the Dark Lord's ranks, you don't need to be one of them. I'll even send information if that's what it'll take. You need to be there for your Hermione," she said. Narcissa expected an argument but he sighed and agreed with her.

Only on one condition, she wasn't to act as a spy. 'Too dangerous' he said, the little hypocrite.

They had snuck him out that very night.

Months and months went on without so much as a word from it about Draco. This was good. He was keeping a low profile, it would be dangerous for him to send her anything. But Narcissa couldn't help but worry. What if he hadn't found them? What if something went wrong with Potter or the Weasley boy? What if he got hurt?

So many questions that would have to remain unanswered until it was all over.

The Battle of Hogwarts had taken many lives, including her insane sister Bellatrix. She'd have to thank Mrs. Weasley later, Bella has always caused more harm than good.

Narcissa was especially thankful that when it was all over, her son was still standing and with the Granger girl by his side. Not a perfect ending, she thought, but at least it can still be a happy one.