#she was cool. real cool. Even before I started thinkin bout her again I missed her. I miss most people tho so h. But yea

[the-wanted-man]

𝕀𝕕𝕝𝕖 ℍ𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕤

𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐎: ‘𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐌𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞’ | 𝐏𝐨𝐕: 𝐋𝐚𝐰 | 𝐀𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐠 #8 

“Hullo. S’been a while since I talked in this thing, ain’t it? Surprised it even works. But I always kept ya’ in good shape, didn’t I? Wale. Yer workin’. An’ listenin’, so I reckon I should talk. Truth be told...I dunno where t’even start. Life’s been hell. I don’t say that often, but...I been feelin’ real rough ‘round th’edges lately. Like...nothin’ is really gon’ git better. My situation been drainin’ th’willpower outta me slowly. I know it. I feel it. Even though I buck an’ wild against it, th’truth is...m’stuck. 

“I hate Ul’dah. I am learnin’ that more n’more ‘bout m’self. There were things that made it bearable, shore. Holly is a cool ocean breeze on a hot day. Got a calm to her that usually offers me sum peace. Try as I might not t’be disappointed...I am. Wanderin’ round th’city hopin’ t’see her, but she ain’t been ‘round in a while.

 A shame, but she’s got her own business t’attend to. An’ I’m stuck here wit’ business’ve m’own. Ain’t much room t’cross paths no more, I guess. So we haven’t. Truth be told, I hate it. Been workin’ a deal t’have m’leash loosened up a bit t’at least visit other places besides these damn desert wastes. Might be worth lettin’ her know but...reckon it might not be worth it either. She sed she missed me. I dunno what t’do wit’ that. I miss her too.” 

“*Sigh* I’m meetin’ folks tho’. Bein’ round here been makin’ me wanna form m’own posse again. Start sum real trouble. I got candidates. There’s this one fella. Large. Hrothgar named Spring that’s got a big heart. I reckon he could bust through a wall if he really wanted or huck a boulder. Strong, but gentle n’kind. Th’world could use more folk like him. 

There’s this healer I met, too. Patched me up after m’fiasco at Blackbrush. Hells, I don’t know what came over me when I beat on that man. I reckon it was th’fact that is was a woman wit’ a sick kid. Y’gotta be a real peace’ve work t’prey on sum one like that. An’ I know th’fella what tricked her. Seen ‘im ‘round pearl lane bein’ a bastard there. Lilttle harder t’intervene there wit’ Brass Blades up m’ass but it’d been a long time comin’ fer him. I ain’t sorry fer how I reacted, tho’ mebbe I should be.

Suki is th’woman wit’ a good healin’ touch. She’s interestin’ but...sumthin’ ‘bout her...I know sumthin’ is off but I can’t quite tell what it is. The earth reacts differently t’her. It talks but it don’t tell me much. I reckon it’s tryin’ t’find th’words t’tell me. It ain’t a bad off, tho’. Her presence is jus’ a familiar on that I can’t place. Need t’figure out a way to thank her. That knife did sum work on me, I reckon. Was bleedin’ all over th’place. Likely ruined m’bandana again, but hey. That’s why its red.”

Th’list is goin’ tho’. Nomu wouldn’t be bad t’have join either. She got a fist like thunder when she hits from what I’ve seen on th’odd jobs we done t’gether. S’impressive, really. Miya would be a fine addition too. Th’way she moves wit’ a sword is damn near mysitcal, an’ a’course she got knowledge’ve th’occult few folks I know got. Sumtimes I know she don’t play well wit’ others tho’. Haine’s an’ alchemist, an’ I’d kill t’have her around more.That woman is a wildfire tho, an’ a danger t’any who end up in her path. I almost always gladly burn, an’ from what I kin remember, she’s been in gangs before.

Then there’s Malika. Best thief I know. Got th’slickest fingers in th’west I reckon, but I dunno that she’d like bein’ wit’ a group at all. Wouldn’t mind havin’ her around from time t’time fer sum fun heists. Evander too. He’s good wit’ tinkerin’ on tek apparently. We talked on it once, an’ his knowledge dwarfed m’own by a wide margin. Dunno that he’d like a group either.” 

There’s a heavy sigh that filters through. 

“Thinkin’ a things like this help keep me occupied tho’. I dunno that I’ll actually do what m’thinkin. I jus’ know m’all but a tickin’ time bomb waitin’ fer th’first wrong thing. I want m’freedom back. I want t’crumble Ul’dah down brick by fuckin’ brick. I want Odh in th’deepest cell known t’man kind. I want m’brother in rags. I want to hogtie Grymiyrnsyn an’ drop him off th’highest cañon. I want t’set things on fire. Watch it all burn. 

M’losin’ m’grip. I know it. I’ve been better than this. Can’t help th’folks I need to. Instead they got me terrorizin’ th’very people I used t’save. M’heart can’t take much more’a this. I need t’do sumthin’. Might..talk t’mbrother. See what kinda deal we kin make. There’s gotta be a way t’make this a mutual benefit. I jus’...need t’find th’words. 

I jus’ never been good at plannin’ things like this. Never been in this situation before. Never been sumone’s huntin’ dog. Certainly not fer th’Syndicate. I gotta git outta this. But I need t’make it work. Jus’ fer now. Jus’ fer now. Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

Out of Ammo: There’s a couple mentions here, a number without tumblrs so I won’t bother tagging, but here’s a ramble post from the cowboy. 

[they-callme-ami]

Double Dutch. (aka the drunk! Elijah, Aurora, black!MC and Tobias fic)

Note: This story uses lots of AAVE (African American Vernacular English) and is mostly intended for a black audience--you can still read for funsies or whatever, but I better not hear some shit about it not being inclusive or using 'improper grammar'.

Tags: @what-do-you-mean-theyre-evil @tyrils-star @melaninnntae @indescribablybre @prism-goddess

It started innocently enough: you were helping Aurora wrap her hair, pinning it up and tying the scarf around it.  Elijah rolled into the living room in his pajamas. You three were the only ones at home since you three had worked later than Jackie, Bryce and Sienna and didn’t feel like going out that night.  But y’all weren’t opposed to chillin and talkin’ shit. 

It had been a long ass day. Ethan was getting on every damn nerve you had, either talking about his mom and their strained relationship or bugging you about your cases. The man just did not leave you alone, and normally it was cool--but today he needed to back the fuck up and stop talkin shit about Tobias. It was gettin old. Not only that, but you had your own intern to deal with--which is what you were going on about now.

“I’m telling you Elijah--I love Esme but that girl is too fuckin much!  She always stay talkin back to the other attendings, nearly started a fight with another intern, and even when she asks for my advice she don’t listen! Thinkin she know everything….fuckin stubborn headass..” You sigh while twisting your hair.  

“Uh-huh. Sounds like a familiar head-ass doctor I know.  You were on trial last year, stoopid!  I know your ass not talkin bout Esme.  She’s a breeze compared to Sothy… he barely knows how to do anythin--it's a damn miracle he graduated y’know.”

“And who’s fault is that Elijah--oh, excuse me, Oracle.”  Aurora smirked and laughed as Elijah could only sit there, ultimately taking the L.

As y’all were about to go in on each other, there was a knock at the door.

“Oh! Finally, must be the package I ordered.  I hope y’all are ready to see me strut the halls in my new---”  You open the door, only to see Tobias there in some sweats with some take out food and a paper bag.

“Not a package, but I’d love to see what you plan on struttin in.”  He teased and smirked.

“SHIT---Uh---why are you here so late---”  You had your bonnet on and a big ass t-shirt with some stains on it and some basketball shorts.  It was the first time he'd seen you so casual.

"Easy there firecracker, I didn't expect you to look--what are the kids saying--'beat and snatched' 24/7." He pecked your lips and walked in. 

“I invited him Y/N. Tobias, don't ever try and say that shit again and bring me my wings.”  Aurora smiled and laughed, seeming to not be phased by her boss seeing her in a scarf and acne cream dotting her face.  Was she just so tired from work she didn’t care?  Who were you kidding, this girl was a complete trip after a long day and was just sayin ‘fuck it’.

“Elijah, I got Tobias to grab you some of that shrimp scampi from that place downtown, and Y/N--he got you your favorite cause I told him and you his new boo thing.”  Aurora smirked with a wing in hand, and Elijah playfully gagged while Tobias handed out takeout containers and handed yours over. Yup, it was your favorite dish from your favorite place.  

“Now--I was invited for 3 reasons: A.) I have a car so I could do the food run and get y’all spoiled asses some good food.  B.)  I live 5 blocks away from the liquor store so--” He held up a bottle from the bag he had--Hennessy, cause of course he’d get the most stereotypical dr--”And C.) I had to pull a double shift so I’m tired and nice enough to share some college Ramsey stories with y’all.”

So there you were, sipping on your glass and laughing as Tobias was explaining how Ethan thought that ‘double dutch’ was some kind of dessert or innuendo for a threesome with exchange students.

“Wait wait---no no you gotta be kiddin me.  Fuckin 4.0 Med school GPA Ramsey--future head of Edenbrooks Diagnostics Team--thought double dutch was some kinda play on words?  I have to laugh…” Elinah snorts. You couldn’t help but burst into whoops and hollars, laughing and even Aurora couldn’t hide the smile on her face after she almost choked on her drink.

“Uh-huh.  Even after I told him what it was, he insisted that he had to see ‘it’.  I took him to my old neighborhood, and watched four 9 year old girls school him while he nearly fell flat on his face!”  Tobias laughed and smiled as he recalled the memory.  “For someone so fuckin smart--I swear to god he’s a dumbass.  Arrogant too, he never wanted to jump rope at the gym anymore.”

Something inside you flipped on.  You took a sip of Henny and smirked.  

“Well, I knew he had the fuckin long-ass neck of a giraffe, but clearly them legs ain’t doin him a favor either.”  Tobias nearly spat his drink and crumbled on the floor into laughter, Elijah slamming his hand on the table and laughing with him.  It was taking all of Aurora’s willpower to not laugh and act a fool.  “I mean, I know he ain’t got any rhythm either!  Mothafucka was clappin OFFBEAT during Donahue’s karaoke night, but I’m supposed to trust him to count how many heartbeats a patient has.”  You joke again, and Elijah was holding his sides.

“Fuck---he---Y/N shut the hell up!”  Tobias laughed and playfully pushed your shoulder.  “Pass me the damn bottle….y’all lemme tell you somethin worse than that--his cooking.  The man can’t stay on beat let alone beat a fuckin egg.  Y/N--tell ‘em bout the chicken.”

“He---He invited me home after work or somethin--and he wanted me to help him with this recipe he saw for chicken.  Y’all, it was the BLANDEST ass recipe I ever saw in my life.  I was terrified to eat whatever the fuck he was makin, it was so bad his dad even helped out and said how it needed some proper seasoning.  I had never seen an old man so disappointed in such an empty spice cabinet.  I had to leave.”  You snicker as you retell the story.  “Even worse?  He tried to bring me some leftovers afterwards and by god was that mothafucka dry as HELL---y’know what, lemme calm down cause I am not about to yell over some bland ass chicken.”  You chugged down the Henny and grabbed the bottle to pour another glass.

“Y’know….for someone who seemed real eager to stuff a chicken, he cannot seem to tell he got a stick stuffed far up his ass.  No wonder he walks around like an emotionally constipated man-baby.”  Aurora said with a straight face as she chugged her own drink.  You turned away, laughing and doing a spit take as Tobias slammed his fist on the table, snorting while Elijah simply was in awe at Aurora’s words. 

 “My first week there, I was assigned to Y/N and cause my auntie was makin me give her full on oral essays of every case I had, I missed out on one of ours and nearly let a patient die.  Now---his ass knows this.  He knows exactly who the fuck I am and who the fuck my aunt is.  And what did he do?  Chewed me out without a second thought.  I was *this* close to curb stomping his ass I swear--He even called Y/N amature after saving someone’s life because it ‘was sloppy’ and ‘wasn’t professional enough’.  And another thing--” 

You watched Aurora stand up, Henny in her hand, and just goin off on Ethan.  She was tearing into him, from him being able to get off the hook for punching Declan, verbally avicerating innocent interns, being all high and mighty--man, she hated his ass.  Elijah was just eating his scampi, vibing and Tobias was smiling like a proud parent, eating his burger. 

 “He gon have the nerve--the audacity--the CAUCASITY to assume that I’M trippin because I told him about Landry being all rude and dismissive of one of his black-female patients.  He nearly put ME on probation for helping deliver the baby properly when Landry prescribed her the wrong treatment for something cause neither of them will ever fuckin LISTEN and--”  You could not have been any more impressed.  You were just soaking it all in.  She finally sat back down and ate some of her wings.

Tobias sighs and grins.  “Damn. Elijah, you been real quiet...you wanna add your two cents?” he asks while Tobias took a big gulp and sat the glass back down.  He took a deep breath.

“No, no….I just want his long-neck-headass, mommy-didn’t-love-me-so-I’m-a-lil-bitch-headass, grudge-holding-grown-ass-man-headass, lemme-insult-my-interns-headass, pompous, privileged, irritating, high and oh so fuckin’ mighty ass to humble himself and learn to get his head and the stick he got outta his ass.  It ain’t cute to just bash everyone around you cause yo ass is feelin like Hamilton, ‘smartest in the room’ mofo.”  He said, all very calmly while finishing his drink.   You, Tobias and Aurora just exchanged a look….and broke out into a fit of laughs and smiling. 

A few drinks later and a hella amount of roasts later, you were cuddled up with Tobias while Elijah laid out on Aurora's lap. 

"Damn…..we really been up for hours now. Jackie and Sienna still out…" Elijah piped up and checked his phone. "They're at Bryce's place, having a 'girls night' with Keiki and sleepin over…..ooooo, Tobias should sleep over too!" He showed y'all a photo Sienna sent. 

"Uh-huh, you should! We can watch movies and... oh Elijah your hair is sooooo soft." Aurora smiled and was playfully twisting it. Seems like the drinks were finally hitting.  Tobias could tell too.

He managed to help Elijah back in his wheelchair and followed his directions to his room.  He came back out to you helping Aurora to her room.

"Byyyye boss. See ya at work! If you do stay over, y'all better be quiet while he rearrange them guts!" She poked you laughing as you rolled your eyes and got her in bed.  You walked back out, feeling tipsy yourself and plopped on the couch...with Tobias.

"Y'know….your friends definitely know how to go all in on a roast session. I found out shit about Ethan I didn't know till now."

"Mhmmmm….Henny is….is a miracle worker…" you slurred and laughed, laying up on him. "And yoooooouuu….are a fine-ass pillow." 

Before you succumbed to the exhaustion and hennessy, you felt Tobias's lips peck your cheek gently and his arms hold you tight against him.

The next day at work, you were taking your break and went outside to the courtyard...much to your surprise you found a few children--presumabley patients-- playing double dutch with some jump rope.

"Apples, peaches, pears, and plums

Tell me when your birthday comes! 1! 2! 3! 4!"

They were counting along as you hopped inside the rope, showing off a bit and laughing. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ethan walking towards the building.

"Hey, Ethan, wanna join? It may not be a dessert or two dutch girls--but it'll be fun!" You called out and teased while working the ropes. You could see his face turn red from where you were, and him muttering softly about Tobias. You couldn't help but laugh as you kept skipping and hopping away.

[thebuttsmcgee]

I liiIVE!!!! AT 5AM!!!! WHILE I'M ABOUT TO PASS OUT!!!! uhhh. I AM HERE!!!!

[jornthur]

“Unshaken” Chapter 10

Originally posted: June 8, 2020

Arthur Morgan x Reader, Slow-Burn Romance

Summary: You save a mysterious man who is dying on a mountain. Finding out he has Tuberculosis, you use your knowledge and skills with herbs and natural remedies to save him from death and help nurse him back to health. As he slowly starts to recover, you can’t help but wonder: Who is this man? Why had you found him the way that you did, beaten and ill? Only time, patience … and perhaps love … will tell.

•••••

The first mile was peaceful, and Arthur looked around as the wagon strolled down a narrow dirt path through the thick forest. The trees were tall, the hilly landscape like the huge waves of the ocean. His heart almost skipped a beat when he recalled those monstrous walls of water when he was on board that ship. Never again was he ever going on another damn boat as long as he lived.

He took in a deep breath, the smell and feel of the fresh forest air overcoming and relaxing his senses. It felt so good to be out in the wild again, he had to admit. He’d actually found himself missing the familiar scent of wilderness, reminding him of all those nights when he’d been out on his own, hunting, camping, whatever the hell he felt like doing.

Arthur almost laughed to himself then.

He was still here … still alive … still breathing … And the rest of the world believed he was dead, including his old friends — or what was left of them. Anger began to simmer deep within his gut at the thought of Dutch, Micah’s betrayal, what they’d done to him and John, the rest of the gang. He squeezed his eyes shut, lifting his hand to tug at the brim of his new hat, trying to find comfort in the new gift. All he could tell himself was that Marston was safe. The boy was an idiot, sure, but when it came to his family and their safety, Arthur knew nothing would stand in John’s way.

A gentle gust of wind hit him, blowing back his hair and cooling what little heat had begun to grow in his cheeks from the anger he felt. Arthur let out a sigh, allowing the cool feeling to seep into his skin. Looking around, he took in the surrounding views. He knew he was somewhere far north of Roanoke Ridge, but he’d never been up this far before Y/N and Austin had taken him in.

The place was beautiful, he thought, taking in the towering trees around them. He’d learned a few interesting terms from Y/N’s herbalist books. He’d been drawn to those bookshelves of hers many times while he’d been cooped up in that cabin, if only to avoid dying from boredom rather than Tuberculosis. Turned out he’d ended up drawn to the knowledge.

There were so many kinds of trees he could now identify— Spruce, Cedars, Pines, Oaks, and very many Sequoia trees. These trees were extremely tall, forming a thick canopy of leaves far overhead, the sunshine piercing through them in rays, hitting the ground with glowing warm light.

The air smelled so fresh as well, and Arthur took in another deep breath, relishing the real cool feeling in his lungs and the fresh and unique smells around him. There was so much plant life growing up here, all kinds of colorful flowers and foliage dotting the thick green grass everywhere. Damn, this area was gorgeous.

Arthur reached up again and stroked the feather on his hat gently, the bristles soft as, well, a feather. He gripped the crown and took the hat off, lowering it to his lap so he could examine it further. The black leather was worn, but genuine, and he could tell it was made from real cowhide, examining the hundreds of skin pores scattered all over. He ran a finger over the brown braided leather tied around the crown of the hat, similar to how his father’s hat had the looped rope. The texture was rough, but also soft, little furs sticking up here and there from years of use.

Then Arthur looked at the feather, and he squinted, his brows drawing down tight as he stroked the thing with the tip of his finger. It was that of a great-horned owl, a primary feather from the wing, the black and gold colored stripes giving away its identity. He wondered, then … why an owl feather? Maybe it was just something her grandfather hadn’t thought much about, but sometimes a certain kind of bird feather in a cowboy’s hat had a meaning behind it.

Thinking back, he recalled Y/N telling him that her grandfather hadn’t lived ‘the best life.’ That he’d been some kind of wanderer. Arthur found himself being curious as to what exactly she had meant. A wanderer?

What kind of life had the old man lived that had her hesitating to tell him the whole story? And what of the feather?

A cough escaped him, and he lifted a had to cover his mouth, clearing his throat then.

Austin looked over at him with curious eyes, “You alright, cowpoke?”

Arthur couldn’t help but give a small smile as he turned his head to face the young man, narrowing his eyes at him, “I’m just fine, little feller, how ’bout yourself?”

The brother narrowed his eyes in return, showing that he was clearly offended by the term Arthur had used on him, “I ain’t ‘little.’”

Arthur laughed, “Why, sure you is, little feller. As long as you call me a cowpoke, I’ll keep callin’ you little. Sound fair?”

Austin grunted, “Not really.” He reached up to scratch at his cheek, then added, “But you kinda do strike me as a cowpoke.”

“Well, you strike me as little, boah,” Arthur said with a grin, his voice a low rough tone as he patted his chest with an open palm, “And it’ll be much worse if you ain’t careful, son.”

Austin grunted, letting out a huff as if he wasn’t amused with Arthur’s teasing in the least.

Several more moments of silence passed, and Arthur gently placed the hat back on his head.

“So she decided to give you our grandfather’s hat, huh?” Austin asked, his voice sounding a bit sour as he cracked the reins again.

Arthur looked over at him, noting the expression the boy had on his face. He didn’t look angry, exactly, but from his eyes Arthur could tell there was some kind of story. “What do you mean?” He asked.

Austin let out a long sigh, “Well, I know she told you it belonged to our grandfather, and he weren’t the best man when he was alive. I never wanted to touch the damn thing after he died.” He lifted his eyes to meet Arthur’s, “Kinda feels weird that you’re wearin’ it, s’all.”

Arthur took that moment as a chance to find out what he could, maybe the brother could give him some of the information he’d been wondering about. “Who was he?”

Austin let out a sarcastic laugh, “I don’t think that’s for me to say. If she didn’t tell you, I don’t think I should be the one to do so.”

Arthur’s natural instinct would’ve been to reach out and choke the bastard to get the information he wanted. It was a feeling he was used to whenever assholes gave him a hard time, but he could respect the brother for looking after his sister.

Another curious thought occurred to him then, and he couldn’t help but ask, “What were y’all doin’ before you found me up on that mountain?”

He could see Austin freeze up at the question, and the young man turned his gaze over to look at him, “You mean that night? We were travelin’ back from Emerald Ranch. Y/N needed to do a trade for some of the supplies we needed for the horses. We have a few contacts scattered here and there for supplies we need that we can’t get up here, and sometimes we need to travel a ways to get them.

“We were supposed to arrive home sometime in the late evening, but we ran into this strange man on the road. He looked odd, short gray dreads, green bandana around his head, weird old clothing. Said his name was William.”

Arthur stilled at that.

“But anyhow,” Austin continued, not noticing that Arthur had suddenly froze, “he was camping out on the side of the road near Moonstone Pond, and he had all these strange plants he seemed to be workin’ with. Of course, it grabbed Y/N’s attention and he invited us over, so she and I stopped to chat with him for a while.” Austin chuckled as he recalled the memory, “What was supposed to be a small chat ended up bein’ a two-hour conversation. I didn’t really listen to what they were sayin’ since I was wrapped up in a book I’ve been readin’. Eventually I had to pull her away since it was gettin’ late.

“When we were just about to leave, she mentioned a special plant that grew over by O’Creagh’s Run, must’ve been somethin’ they were talkin’ about earlier. I was about to say no, but she gave me this look. She has this thing that she does with her eyes, drives me crazy ’cuz I can’t turn her down when she does it.

“So we headed over there, and I stopped the wagon by the small lake so she could explore the area. I just hung out under a tree with my book to pass the time … That’s when we heard the sounds.”

Arthur lifted his head and narrowed his eyes, “Sounds?”

“Gunshots, shoutin’ — We was goin’ to leave the area as quickly as possible, but — well, Y/N could hear the struggles, fighting, a man in pain, and she couldn’t stop herself.” Austin paused, as if he were deep in thought, “We saw someone runnin’ away from the mountain before they disappeared into the trees. I didn’t really get a good look at the man, but it looked like he had dirty, long blonde hair … someone you knew?”

The fury that suddenly welled in Arthur’s chest didn’t surprise him in the least damn bit.

Micah.

That damned rat.

The rat that weaseled his way in and ultimately destroyed the Van Der Linde gang in such a short amount of time.

Twenty goddamned years of loyalty and service to Dutch, and the old fool had decided to listen and believe someone who’d just joined the gang not half a year ago, a man who’d only been out for himself in the end … Just like Dutch …

“Arthur?”

Austin’s voice interrupted Arthur’s thoughts and snapped him back to reality. “Yeah, sorry ’bout that, kid. Just thinkin’.”

Austin seemed to have picked up on Arthur’s mood, no doubt from the gravel Arthur felt in his throat from the emotion that had just been about to take him over. He couldn’t dwell on such things, not right now. What good did it do?

At that moment another thought occurred to him, “You didn’t want Y/N takin’ me in, did you?” He stated it as fact since he knew the answer, but he found himself wanting to hear what Austin’s response would be.

The boy chuckled darkly, looking straight ahead at the narrow dirt trail. “Honestly, when we heard the gunshots, I thought it was going to be a trap, an ambush of some kind. But Y/N … When we reached that mountain and found you laying on that rock, it was like she didn’t care about anythin’ else in the world but you.” He cleared his throat, “The whole time I was worried that she was going to get herself killed, being so close to a stranger. I feared that something terrible would happen, like you would have a knife hidden on you, or a friend of yours would come leaping out of a hiding spot and shoot her dead.” Austin lowered his head, looking down at his lap as if lost in thought, “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I would’ve done had that been the case. Y/N is my whole world right now, and she matters to me more than anythin’ else in my pathetic life.”

Arthur’s eyes softened, almost finding himself sympathizing with the poor boy, but he continued to listen.

“When she insisted on taking you to our cabin, I nearly lost it. Watching her take you in and nurse you back to health every day, I couldn’t help but fear for the worst. I still thought you had something evil planned. Some monsters would go to any length to take advantage and trick people like us to get what they want, even if it’s hurtin’ one of their own.”

The boy was smart, Arthur admitted to himself. There were definitely men like that out there, and he should damn well know.

“But when she mentioned you had Tuberculosis, and I began seeing the signs from you, how truly sick you were — I guess … Well, I guess I noticed how stupid I was bein’ at that point — but I was too proud to admit it.

“After you showed your skills with the gun, I realized you could’ve killed us both whenever you wanted long before that point. The thought was scary, of course, but finally seeing that all you needed was a gun or your bare hands to take us both out and you never did? Well, I guess you can say my stupidity wore off a lil’ bit at that point.”

Arthur grinned, amused with Austin’s confession at how much of an idiot he had been for all the trouble he’d given him.

But could he fully blame Austin? The boy was just looking after his sister, and Arthur couldn’t do nothing but respect him for it. “Don’t hurt yourself too much over it, boah. You’re just lookin’ after her, I understand. In fact,” he leaned back and rolled his shoulders, stretching out the tension in his back, “I kinda like that.”

Austin acknowledged his statement with a small nod and a smile. “I love her, I really do. She’s family, and the most wonderful person I know.” He narrowed his eyes at Arthur and teased, “If you ever hurt her, though, I’ll make sure to shoot you square in the chest, got it?”

Arthur threw back his head and laughed at the threat, “If you say so. But don’t you worry — I ain’t got plans for that.” The fact that the young man had the courage to actually threaten him was truly entertaining, and Arthur couldn’t help but note how much smaller the man actually was compared to him. Arthur had a good six inches on him in height, and a whole lot more muscle, despite the fact that he was still sick. The boy worked hard, but they clearly didn’t eat enough for him to gain a whole lot of meat on his bones. He was about as contrasted as he could be compared to Arthur.

He was grateful Austin had finally swallowed his pride down enough in order to ask him how to hunt. They truly did need it, and he would do his best to teach them. It was the least he could do for him and his sister after everything they’d done for him.

The next several moments were quiet, minus the sound of Lily’s hooves hitting the ground and the tittering of birds high up in the trees.

“So what’s it like livin’ up here?” Arthur asked. “It don’t seem too bad.”

“It ain’t,” Austin replied with a shrug, “It was tough for the first few months, but we managed. Built ourselves a camp, then eventually built ourselves a cabin — then the stables for the horses and other animals.” He cleared his throat, “Of course it’s been hard, what with my lack of huntin’ skills, but Y/N absolutely loves it. She enjoys bein’ surrounded by all the wildlife and plants.”

Arthur found himself suddenly more invested, wanting to know more about Y/N and her passions. “And her garden?”

“She’s been in love with flowers since she was a tiny thing. When we came up here, she brought a few supplies that belonged to our mother, and she got to work on that garden right away.” He let out a small laugh, “What started as a small batch of flowers and herbs turned into a small estate of all kinds of plants. She’s been finding different herbs all over the place and replanting them here for the past three years. Every month it gets larger and larger. I’ll admit, it looks pretty damn beautiful.”

Arthur grinned. “That is does,” he agreed with a nod. It did indeed, Y/N’s garden was a pretty good size, and the colorful shrubbery was a marvel to look at, truthfully. He’d been able to see it out through one of the windows as he’d been recovering on that couch all that time …

“So how are you feeling, Arthur?” Austin asked, breaking the silence.

Arthur turned his head to look at him, “What?”

Austin lifted a hand to point at his chest, “Your TB, you were coughing a bit earlier, just checking to see how you’re feelin’ now?”

Arthur rubbed his own palm over his chest, “I’m just fine, you’re sister’s got some healin’ magic goin’ on with those herbs of hers.”

The boy’s laugh was loud and sharp, “Y/N has a talent with nature, that’s for damn sure. I swear she may be Mother Nature herself.”

The two men’s laughter echoed through the trees as they travelled further down the trail. A squirrel skittered across the ground, and Arthur watched it disappear into the thick foliage on the other side.

More time passed, until finally they reached a small clearing. Arthur lifted his finger to point over to a small grassy area. “That’s a good spot to start.”

Austin pulled back the reins until Lily stopped, bringing the wagon to a halt. He looked over to where he was pointing and lifted a brow, “Really? Doesn’t seem like the kind of spot wildlife would be, it’s too open.”

Arthur gave him a bewildered look. “Wildlife don’t always need to be in a particular spot in order for you to track ’em, Austin.” He said, his drawl annoyed, letting the young man know through his tone that what Austin had stated was completely idiotic. He got up and climbed down out of the wagon, walking towards the small patch, “This area’s got plenty of plant-life, tellin’ you it’s a good spot to start pickin’ up trails.” He narrowed his eyes as he placed his hands on his belt, turning his head as he took in the surrounding forest. “It’s perfect for grazin’, plenty of cover ’round here if they need it.”

Austin crawled out of the wagon, grabbing his carbine repeater. It was smart — even though they didn’t need it for killing today, it was better to be safe than get caught off-guard by any wild predators. He walked over to Arthur, and Arthur began walking slowly across the grass, looking down to examine the dirt. “Now whatchu wanna do is look for any signs, footprints, fur, dung, broken branches and whatnot.” He took several steps forward, crouching low so he could see better.

Austin did the same, crouching to help look around for anything they could pick up. “So look for those things, got it.” He said, crawling low to the ground.

“You also wanna be quiet as possible, don’t wanna draw any attention towards yourself or you’ll scare off anythin’ nearby. Same thing can be said about your gun.” Arthur looked over his shoulder at him, “You ever use a bow before, boah?”

Austin shook his head, “Only a couple times when I was young. We got one up by the cabin stored in the shed. Another thing that belonged to our grandfather, but I never touched the damned thing.”

Arthur huffed, amused at the other man’s stubborn nature. “It’s a useful weapon, kid, it can be used to make quiet kills so you don’t frighten off any wildlife in the near vicinity.”

The young man just let out a grunt, “I ain’t touchin’ that thing.”

Arthur just shrugged at the boy’s pride, “Up to you, but I highly suggest you start learnin’ how to use it.”

Over the next several minutes, they examined the grounds, both of them crawling quietly through the tall grass.

“Arthur?”

Austin’s whispered voice reached Arthur’s ear, and he turned to see him waving his arm, gesturing for him to come over. He made his way over, and once he was beside Austin the kid pointed at a few small hoof prints in the soil. He smiled, “Good job there, feller, now see if you can follow them.”

The boy nodded and did just that. Over the next half hour, Arthur continued to help him by pointing out other signs, such as crushed grass, a couple broken branches, and bits of fur here and there. The last sign was several strange marks on one of the trees twenty yards away. ‘Tree rubs,’ of course.

“This way,” Arthur whispered, leading them quietly through a few tall bushes.

Finally they reached a new wide-open clearing. This one had a small pond directly in the center, and in the distance, Arthur spotted the white-tailed buck grazing on some of the lush green grass at its feet.

For a moment, Arthur froze, recalling all the dreams he’d been having. The buck looked so similar to the one in his dreams; the size, the coat, the large antlers it displayed. Every single detail was precise.

Austin sat beside him, and Arthur felt rather than heard the boy lifting his gun.

At that moment, a doe and two young fawns appeared from behind one of the large boulders, the three of them approaching the large buck.

Arthur grabbed the barrel of the gun before Austin could aim the thing.

He watched as the doe came over to the buck with the two young close behind her, and the creatures nuzzled each other lovingly.

It was a sight that Arthur found himself lost in, and he couldn’t help but think of his own family, what was, what could have been, what might have been … If he’d only chosen a different life for himself …

What the hell was wrong with him?

“What the hell are you doin’, Arthur?”

Austin’s voice echoed his thoughts, snapping him back out from his mind. Arthur cleared his throat, “Let’s leave ’em be, kid.” He was going to leave it at that, but then he added “We promised Y/N, remember? Just trackin’.”

Austin gave him a strange look, but after a couple of moments he seemed to decide not to argue with him. “So what now?”

Arthur gazed at the family of deer a few seconds longer, then he flicked his gaze over to Austin, “I don’t know. I reckon we should head on back,” he turned to face the younger man, “You suppose your ready to travel back?”

Again with that strange look, what the hell was Austin seeing? Had Arthur suddenly grown his own pair of antlers? What was running through that boy’s mind?

Finally, he answered, “I guess so, I think I learned plenty today.” They both stood quietly and started heading back towards the wagon. Austin tucked the gun strap over his shoulder, reaching up to scratch at his cheek again. “I’ll admit that was actually quite fun. Thanks, Arthur. You’re a pretty great tracker, in all honesty.”

The compliment felt strange, Arthur thought, especially coming from Austin of all people, but he supposed he would take it. The boy was grateful, having learned something that would be incredibly useful for him and his sister when it came to their survival. “It ain’t no cake walk after this, boah. We still got a long way to go, trackin’ requires a lot of patience — an eagle’s eye.”

Austin nodded, giving him a small smile, “I suppose that makes sense. A lot of patience — kinda like fishin’?”

Arthur let out a genuine laugh at that, “I guess you’re right.”

2 Weeks Later …

Birds tittered high up in the trees, singing there own unique songs as the sun’s rays bore down on your back. The weather was absolutely gorgeous today, you thought to yourself as you knelt in your garden. You were in a cheery mood, humming softly as you pruned several of the herbs and flowers. You looked over your shoulder to see that Arthur was still relaxing on the porch swing, working on something in his journal. Writing or drawing? You had no clue, but you were going to leave him to his privacy.

The last two weeks had been quite the ride.

Arthur’s body was improving, his skin and muscles filling back out with each passing week. Even though his blood still showed signs of leftover Tuberculosis bacteria, it was clear his body was slowly but successfully fighting it off. You continued to give him treatments every other day, and he still took daily doses of honey per your instructions.

But despite the fact his body was getting better physically, you knew the herbs and medication still had a large impact on both his physical and mental state, so you still urged him to be cautious with his actions so that he didn’t overwork himself too much. It was crucial for him to stay in a calm state so his mind and body wouldn’t somehow become unstable.

He’d been sleeping a lot better. Every night you woke up to check on him, and Arthur was sleeping peacefully every time. Truly, it made you happy to see him so relaxed now. Ever since you’d sung that lullaby for him so many nights ago, that nightmare of his hadn’t seemed to come back. Though you still wondered who this John was, no matter how much it bothered you, you didn’t want to risk bringing anymore pain to Arthur.

For the past several days Arthur had been on his feet helping out around the cabin, whether it was doing chores or hunting with Austin, he managed to keep himself busy throughout the day. He was regaining the muscle and healthy tone he’d no doubt once had before, his face, eyes, and cheeks becoming full once more, and he was beginning to gain a tan from being out in the sun so much now.

Ever since you had given it to him, not once had Arthur ever taken off his new hat. Unless he was asleep or bathing, the thing rarely ever left his head.

It really did look good on him.

You had to admit, the man was absolutely stunning. Whenever he worked or did any kind of physical labor, you couldn’t help but watch those muscles in his body sometimes, how they moved and flexed beneath his skin, noting the healthy shine of sweat on his face, his neck, his forearms, and God help you, but sometimes he went shirtless when he worked, and it was all you could do not to throw yourself at the man. Push him to the ground and take him there and then —

What on earth was wrong with you? You shook your head hard, trying to perish those dirty thoughts from your mind. You weren’t exactly a plucked flower, but you’d read enough romance novels to give yourself plenty of naughty imagination.

Letting out a sigh, you plucked another dead leaf. There were so many scars across his body, old and new, but one stuck out to you the most. You recalled the scar you’d seen on Arthur’s chest, just above his left pectoral. There was no doubt it was a gunshot wound, the scar tissue around it having sunken down into the ruined flesh. It had long since healed, but the skin there was still pink, still soft, so it hadn’t been too long since it was inflicted on him. Again you wondered, what had happened to him? Who’d shot him? Why? The thoughts of possibility raced through your head, but going off his nature and what you’d seen of him thus far, you couldn’t come to a conclusion or even imagine why anyone would want to hurt that man.

Reaching out to crush another dead leaf, you smiled to yourself.

Arthur was strong … indeed he was a fighter.

You’d slowly been getting more and more comfortable with the thought of Arthur going out with Austin on his hunting trips, allowing them to start traveling out as far as they needed to go. Food was getting low, and finally you’d told the two boys that they could start hunting for game if they wished. You were proud of them both, for keeping to their word and staying safe.

You could tell your brother was improving with his skills thanks to Arthur, just last week they had managed to bring back a boar, and Arthur had told you that your brother had managed to track it down on his own, but Austin had admitted that he’d missed the first few shots, and Arthur had to kill the boar himself. The two had slowly been getting along, you’d noticed. It was more than refreshing to see.

Arthur had been helping Austin out with his aim several times over the last two weeks, the two of them practicing down by the stream in the late evenings.

You would stay back and watch to observe every chance you got. Honestly, you secretly wished it was you Arthur was teaching. To show you how to handle a gun, how to aim it, how to shoot. You had no idea how to use a weapon, so you picked up whatever you could from the two of them.

Your brother had recently started working with your grandfather’s bow, which confused you at first, since he’d always insisted on using his own carbine repeater. But then he’d explained to you that Arthur had told him it was a stealthy hunting tactic in order to capture more game.

Finally, you’d understood. Winter was slowly approaching, and it was more than important to learn how to use a much quieter weapon, especially when wildlife was so much more scarce during the cold parts of the year.

But — despite countless hours of practice — Austin hadn’t managed to get the hang of it, which worried you somewhat. Poor man, each time he tried aiming an arrow, the thing would wobble in his grip and the shot itself ended up with the arrow landing on the ground only a few feet away. No matter how Arthur instructed him, it seemed hopeless. At one point Austin had nearly thrown the thing into the stream, shouting something about how the bow wasn’t working properly. But Arthur had tested the thing for himself, and of course it worked flawlessly when he’d used it, the arrow finding its mark perfectly on one of the trees he’d been aiming for..

You’d found yourself strangely drawn to the weapon, you had to admit, though you weren’t quite sure why.

The bow itself was very beautiful. The long round limbs were made of dark maple wood, painted with some kind of glossy coating to protect the wood from wear and tear. The handle was wrapped in finely engraved black leather strips. There were several more curly engravings that ran along the weapon itself, and two small metal owl heads were placed at each end, the beaks holding the tight silver bowstring.

A part of you really wanted to try it out for yourself at some point.

The two men were planning on going on another hunting trip today, so it was going to be another quiet evening alone at the cabin for you. Strangely enough, even though you finally felt comfortable with them both being gone, you still weren’t quite used to it.

“How you doin’ there, Y/N?”

Arthur’s deep voice nearly had you jumping out of your skin. You leapt to your feet and turned around to face him. “Arthur!” Your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat, “I didn’t hear you comin’ over.”

Grinning, he let out a soft chuckle, “Sorry bout that, honey, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You’re fine,” you said, waving off his apology.

He looked over your shoulder at the plants behind you, “So what’re you doin’?”

You turned to look down at the herbs you’d been working on, “Oh, well I was just pruning some of the plants.” At his questioning look you added, “Sometimes some of the leaves or stems die and I need to take them off, otherwise it could cause disease and the nutrients inside the plants are wasted trying to feed what’s no longer alive. When I get rid of the dead pieces it allows them to focus on keeping the rest of the plant strong and healthy.”

Arthur nodded, though you had the feeling he was only pretending to understand what you were talking about in order to make you feel better, going by the confused look and his face; his eyes narrowed, his mouth her in a small grimace. “So these herbs,” he cleared his throat, “them what you used to treat my TB with?”

His curiosity nearly had you taken aback. Honestly, you hadn’t really expected him to care enough to ask such a question. “Yes,” you said, your voice soft as you looked up at him, “I — I gather pieces from them from time to time and make several elixirs and medications from their properties.” You pointed to one of the plants, “That right there is Ginger, it’s used as an antioxidant, which can help take care of some of the negative effects caused by most bacterias.” You pointed to several others, giving the names and explaining what each of them did.

By the time you’d named a few more, you looked back at Arthur, and his brows were drawn down tight, his hand rubbing at the side of his temple as if he’d gotten a headache. You nearly laughed, “I’m sorry, Arthur, I tend to get carried away sometimes.”

Arthur lifted a brow as if he were actually amused, “I can tell you really enjoy your work,” he said, a wide grin stretching those lips of his, “It’s really amazin’. You should be proud, honey.”

You lowered your eyes, feeling a blush creep into your cheeks, “Thank you, Arthur. I honestly wouldn’t know as much as I did without my mother’s journal. She taught me so much.” You voice nearly hitched, and you blinked several times in order to keep any tears from welling.

Arthur reached out and laid a warm hand on your shoulder in an effort to comfort you, “I’m sure she’d be real proud of you, Y/N.”

You couldn’t speak, so you just nodded in answer.

Several moments passed, and Arthur spoke again, “Austin mentioned to me that you ran into a man named William?”

Your head jerked up that that, surprised. “He told you about that?”

Arthur nodded, “The night you saved me from that mountain, told me you met an herbalist the same day. Quite a character.”

Your brows lifted, “You know him?”

“Yeah. Met him a few times, a long while ago, before — Well, before all that shit went down.”

“Language, Arthur!”

You both laughed, and he tipped his hat to you.

He was truly adorable, you thought as you smiled at him. You lifted your gaze to look at the hat. “So, how you liking your new hat, Arthur?”

Your question had him letting out a laugh as he ran his fingers across the leather brim. “Keep’s the sun outta my eyes, like you said,” he teased. His eyes softened then, those beautiful sapphire-emeralds seeming to stare directly into your soul. “Thank you, Y/N.”

His grateful smile alone nearly overwhelmed you, and you quickly spoke your next words before you found your idiot-self getting lost in his gaze. “I’m glad you like it. My grandmother made that hat for our grandfather when they were both young. It was … meant to stand for something … but he didn’t do it justice with the life he led. It needs to be worn by a good man. Someone like you.”

Arthur’s expression seemed to change at that moment, and you couldn’t help but notice the softness in his eyes suddenly grow hard.

•••••

A good man.

It was all Arthur could do not to lose himself then and there. To take the hat off and give it back to her immediately, to leave and never turn back even once. Dammit, he didn’t deserve to be here. He didn’t deserve the treatments he’d been given, all the hospitality, the food and shelter that Y/N and Austin had so generously given.

He wasn’t a good man, and he damn well knew it.

It was the second time she’d called him that, and he nearly had to bite his tongue. But what could he possibly say to her at that moment? That he wasn’t the man she truly thought he was? That he’d been a liar? A thief? A ruthless killer?

An outlaw …

Arthur did his best not to squeeze his eyes shut from the sudden pain that welled in his chest. What the hell was wrong with him? There was nothing he could say or do to get past the ache in his heart from those words.

For once, he was extremely grateful to hear that sill boy’s scratchy voice calling out to both of them.

Y/N smiled, looking over Arthur’s shoulder, “Austin, how are ya?”

Austin came jogging over, his face and clothes covered in dust and dirt from whatever work he’d been doing earlier. He stopped a few feet in front of them, “I’m doin’ just fine, sis,” he panted, nodding at Y/N and meeting Arthur’s gaze. “Hey, Arthur, so you ready for our next huntin’ trip?” The young man asked him, a naive yet excited smile spread across his face. Over the past two weeks he’d learned to enjoy the trips, getting to learn something new from them each and every time.

Arthur shrugged with a small chuckle, “That depends, are you?” He nodded at the dirt covering the boy.

Austin scratched his cheek, “Yeah, sorry about that, sir.” He brushed off the dirt from his clothes, “It ain’t nothin’, Just noticed the two of you over here and I wanted to see if you were prepared to head out.”

Over the last several days, Austin had grown the strange and somewhat annoying habit of calling him sir, and Arthur didn’t really know why. Was he trying to show some sort of respect toward him? Maybe after acting like such a dumbass over the past month, he might’ve thought addressing Arthur in that way would gain him redemption? It felt odd, and Arthur really wished he wouldn’t call him that, but he’d go along with it if it made the younger man feel better.

“Well, Austin,” Arthur said, clearing his throat, “Ready when you are, then.”

“Dandy! I found an interestin’ new spot I think we should go check out a ways up north, the wagon’s already loaded up and ready to go.” Austin stated, pointing over toward the stables where the coach stood, with Lily already attached to it. The boy was quick, Arthur thought. He must’ve been busy getting everything prepared while he and Y/N had been working on their own tasks.

Arthur lowered his eyes. On one hand he didn’t want to leave Y/N so abruptly, but on the other he needed to escape the tension that had suddenly risen in his gut from her words. A good man … how could he follow up that line with any further conversation? It hadn’t angered him, but he was tired of hearing it — from anyone. He gave a single nod, “Let’s head out, then.”

As Austin nodded and headed off toward the wagon, Arthur looked back over his shoulder to meet Y/N’s gaze, “We’ll be back soon, honey.” He said softly, winking and giving her a small grin. He hoped she wasn’t disappointed, but he needed to get out of there. Clear his head.

But she didn’t look upset. No, instead her eyes absolutely glowed as she gave him another one of her beautiful smiles. “Y’all stay safe, Arthur.” After a slight moment of hesitation, she returned his wink, “You keep Austin safe now.”

Her teasing helped the tension ease away somewhat, and he let out a chuckle, “Don’t you worry, I’ll keep him in line.”

With that, he headed over to join Austin on the wagon.

•••••

“So where we headed?” Arthur asked as Austin steered Lily up the narrow trail through the tall sequoia trees. He and the younger man waved farewell to Y/N with her returning the gesture as they disappeared around a large rock.

Austin lowered his hand, pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket. He unfolded it and handed it to Arthur, “There’s this new place I wanna check out, passed by it a few days ago while ridin’ Butch. Seemed interestin’.”

Arthur took the map and held it up, looking over a simple drawing of directions. They appeared to lead up north towards the larger mountains, further into the forest.

The kid pointed at a thick scribble he’d made on the paper, “That area right there, it’s right at the foot of the mountains between the trees. A small area of tall grass. I saw a family of elk there a couple times. If we can spot them again, I’m sure we can bring back enough food to last us for a month.”

What he said was true, one elk could last them quite a while. If they managed to kill one, they’d be set for weeks. Arthur folded the map back up and handed it back, “You seem to know what you’re doin’,” He said with a light laugh.

Austin shook his head, “Only a little, sir, it’s why I thought it best for you to come along on this one.”

Arthur shrugged, “You’ll get the hang of it soon enough, kid,” He reached out and patted the man’s shoulder. “I’ll look after ya.”

The younger man narrowed his eyes, “I don’t need no hand-holdin’, Arthur.”

Arthur’s heart suddenly skipped at those words, his smile dropping from his face as his eyes grew flat.

Those words … when had he last heard those exact words —

A memory flashed through his mind … Lenny …

He flinched, lowering his head as he reached up to tug down the brim of his hat, hiding his expression from the brother. The pain was almost unbearable … coming back to bit him in the ass once more.

The loss of his friends, of his family — it had only been a couple months, and the agony still felt just as sharp, as though it had only been yesterday when his life had completely fallen apart.

… What life, though?

Arthur nearly wanted to laugh at himself from the thought.

His family had meant everything to him, the bond they’d shared more real than anything else in the world.

But Arthur would be lying to himself if he’d thought what they had was any kind of real life. He’d spent the majority of his chasing a dream for a life he weren’t even sure about, along with the rest of the gang who’d followed over the years. He’d failed all of them. Hosea, Lenny, Kieran, Sean, Grimshaw, Mac, Davey, Jenny … they’d all had their own lives snatched away from them so abruptly.

They’d never had the chance for the life they’d so desperately fought for.

And the others … Charles, Sadie, Tilly, Mary-Beth, Uncle … Karen, Swanson, Trelawny … Where were they now?

The wonder of their whereabouts prodded his mind like a hot poker every single day. Even though he tried so hard to move on in hopes that they would do the same and lead normal lives, it was extremely difficult to do so. He only hoped they were all safe. They all deserved so much more after all the shit they went through in the gang.

And Jack, Abigail, John …

Arthur lifted his eyes to stare up at the sky, the sun’s bright rays peeking through the small clouds.

‘You’re my brother.’

Those words echoed through his mind, and he allowed himself a sad smile. He thought back to Sister Calderon, the words she’d spoken echoing in his head. ‘Take a gamble that love exists.’

Arthur wasn’t the religious type, but deep inside his heart he prayed for the sake of John and his family, for their safety, so that they may go on to live the lives they’d damn well earned.

John Marston. The man was a goddamn fool, but he loved Abigail and Jack, and Arthur knew he’d do anything to protect them. 

They were safe.

He knew, deep down in his heart something told him. They were out there.

Time passed by quickly, and finally the wagon stopped. Arthur felt the seat lift as Austin hopped out, and he shook himself out of his thoughts, realizing that they’d arrived at the foot of the mountains. Arthur looked around, taking in the small grassy clearing. He raised a hand to lift the brim of his hat, looking up at the base of the mountain, a tall cliff that encircled half of the area. The other half was enclosed by the thick forest of trees that towered over them, their green and multi-colored coming-autumn leaves providing cool shade to the tiny meadow.

“We’re finally here,” Austin said cheerfully as he rolled his shoulders, stretching out the stiffness in his limbs. He walked behind the wagon to grab his carbine repeater.

Arthur examined the area closely. Indeed, it was a great area for wildlife of all kinds. Plenty of grass, soft ground, perfect temperature, and shelter. He narrowed his eyes, noting a small cave opening at the base of the cliff. It was too small for a bear or cougar, so it was probably just a family of deer, he thought. Still, they had to be cautious. It was an unexplored area. He looked over his shoulder as Austin approached him from behind and stared at the gun he held, “You need to get a handle on that bow soon, kid.” He said teasingly.

“I know, I know, and I ain’t a kid!” Austin snapped, “I’ve been tryin’ but I’m just hopeless with the damn thing!”

Arthur nearly laughed at the blush that crept into Austin’s cheeks as he looked away, unable to meet Arthur’s gaze.

He really had been trying his best, Arthur did notice, but the bow was turning out to be the boy’s natural enemy. Either he weren’t a good teacher, or the bow was truly hopeless for him. Where was Charles when he needed him, Arthur thought almost sadly.

Arthur shook his head at the thought, then threw his hand up in the general direction. “Lead the way.”

Austin gave a small but nervous nod, stepping forward and leading them both across the grass towards the cliff. They crept slowly and quietly, staying low to the tall grass to avoid being spotted by any of the nearby wildlife. There were small sounds here and there as Austin examined the grounds, but they were mostly from squirrels or small rabbits. Since Austin only had the gun with him, they weren’t going to risk scaring off any larger game by shooting and possibly missing smaller targets. Arthur had taught him to be careful with such things.

Gradually they got further and further away from the wagon, and Austin led Arthur towards the foot of the cliff. “There,” the younger man whispered, pointing toward some hoof-prints that had been left behind in the ground. They created a trail, and the two men followed it, making their way around the cliff. Finally, the tracks stopped at the base of some large rocks that formed a small ramp towards the top of the cliff. Austin began to climb, and Arthur followed behind him, as quiet as they could possibly be.

Suddenly a small rock bounced down from atop the cliff, landing in the small meadow below, and Arthur looked up, spotting a small glimpse of large antlers just over the peak. “There’s one,” Austin whispered next to him, having seen them as well.

“Alright, get your gun ready,” Arthur whispered back as they approached the top. His heart was racing, but he forced himself to calm down as they reached the top of the plateau. The elevated area was covered in thick foliage, and the two men hid behind the thick shrubbery as they made their way over to a large rock that provided solid cover.

Austin slowly and quietly cocked the gun, peering over at the large creature nibbling on some of the grass by the cliff-edge. It was a huge bull elk, appearing to weigh at least seven hundred and twenty-five pounds. The creature was definitely large, larger than any Arthur had seen in a long while. The creature was magnificent, he thought. The meat on its bones could definitely keep them fed for weeks.

He looked over at Austin, noticing that the boy was breathing hard, creating too much noise. “Calm yourself,” Arthur muttered, “Elk can hear very well, take a deep breath and let it out slow.”

Austin did as he was told, closing his eyes as he did so. “Alright,” he whispered, then he slowly began scooting forward. He crouched carefully, propping the barrel of the gun on the tip of the boulder.

A small loose rock was knocked off as the weapon was adjusted, landing with a small crack on the hard ground. The elk snatched its head up, its ears perked in their direction. It looked over toward their spot, and before Arthur could stop what happened next, Austin quickly stood from behind cover and fired the repeater.

It was so quick, the kid having not given himself the proper aiming stance, and the recoil shot him backwards, the bullet missing the elk as it pinged off the one of the rocks several feet away. The creature jumped, bounding off quickly in the opposite direction. Austin lifted his gun and fired a few more rounds as it fled down the cliff.

“What the hell are you doin’?!” Arthur grabbed the man’s firing arm as the elk disappeared into the forest below, Lily whinnying and rearing in the wagon as the creature sped by her.

The boy grunted from the small pain of his fall, “I’m sorry, sir,” he grimaced as he stood slowly, “I thought — I thought it heard us, I wanted to try and get it before it ran away —”

“Of course it heard us, you goddamn fool!” Arthur snapped, anger boiling in his blood. “But it didn’t see us! Now the whole damn forest knows we’re here.”

Austin lowered his head, no doubt feeling ashamed from his actions.

“All you had to do was stay still,” Arthur growled, snatching the firearm from Austin’s grip. “Start headin’ down to the wagon. Ain’t no hope of gettin’ anything out here now.”

The boy didn’t say anything, only giving a small nod as he turned away and headed towards the rocks. It was more than clear the man knew he’d made a mistake, and Arthur was more than upset with him. The next few moments were quiet as they started making their way down the way they’d came.

As soon as they reached the meadow, Arthur halted in his tracks, placing a hand to Austin’s chest to stop him, “Hold on.”

Austin looked at him questioningly, “What is it, sir?”

Arthur didn’t answer as he skimmed his gaze over the tall grass. Something wasn’t right. It was way too damn quiet …

Just then, a massive wolf lunged out of the shrubs from behind, jumping up and catching Arthur on his left shoulder, its sharp teeth sinking deep as its claws caught his flesh.

“Arthur!” Austin yelled.

Arthur shouted in pain as the force knocked him forward, his hat falling away as the heavy weight of the wolf bore down on his body. The gun was knocked out of his hands, and he hit the ground hard. His heart began to beat fast as sharp snarling noises pierced his ears, sharp claws digging deep into his shoulders, Arthur cried out as his flesh was torn open, and he began to struggle, trying his best to flip onto his back. He wasn’t going out without a fight.

The massive gray wolf was unbelievably strong, but Arthur managed to grip the wolf’s head, crushing its skull between his hands as hard as he could until the wolf let go, jumping off his body momentarily. He looked over to see the gun lying on the ground just a couple feet away.

Arthur flipped himself over just before the beast made another attempt and leapt back onto him, its teeth bared for another bite as it aimed for his throat. But Arthur barely managed to block its target by taking hold of the wolf’s neck with a single hand, using the other to try and reach for the gun. Blood was seeping from his neck and shoulders, and his heartbeat began rushing throughout his entire body as the sharp teeth gnashed and snapped just inches away from his face, getting closer as his strength grew weaker.

He let out a loud guttural sound and gathered all the strength he had left, finally managing to grip the gun and swing it through the air, using the butt of the handle to knock the large beast off of him. He staggered to his feet, aiming quickly as he fired the weapon, hitting the wolf square in the chest just as it rushed towards him again. With a loud whine the thing fell to the ground dead, and Arthur’s head whipped around as he heard more growling.

Two more wolves had crept out of the bushes and had cornered Austin near the cliff. The kid looked absolutely terrified as the beasts stalked toward him, his body having frozen entirely.

“Austin!” Damn him if he was going to let another person die on his watch.

Arthur’s gaze began to spin as he aimed at the wolves. He cocked the weapon, but he was seeing damn near triple of everything around him. He was losing blood fast, and he nearly collapsed as he began to feel light-headed. With no other choice, he let out a hard huff, and with everything he had left he lurched across the grass and lunged forward, pushing Austin aside just in time right before one of the the wolves ran towards them.

The heavy creature tackled Arthur’s body hard, causing him to collapse again as the weapon was knocked out of his hands once more. The butt of the cocked gun hit the ground and went off, a sharp whine echoing through the trees as the stray bullet miraculously hit the other wolf. It ran off, leaving a heavy trail of blood in its wake.

As the last wolf held Arthur to the ground, he thought this was going to be it. He had nothing left, he felt absolutely nothing, his mind having completely turned off as his own blood seeped out onto the ground beneath him, his weak limbs refusing to move as his vision began to dim.

Suddenly, another gunshot went off, and he felt a heavy weight fall onto his body. It was soon pushed off, but he found himself unable to care as his heartbeat started drumming between his ears.

Arthur looked up at the sky, his breathing barely audible as he struggled to take in any air. Everything had happened so damn fast … He could hear someone calling out his name. A man’s voice, but who? A blurry figure appeared over him as a dark red haze began to creep in around his vision, or was that just his imagination? Something hard pressed into his shoulder, and the pain shot through him like a lightning bolt.

Flashes began going through his mind, each one followed by his slowing heartbeats.

Two crosses, placed side by side …

… A large buck, lifting its head as it gazed off into the distance …

… The sun, setting just over the horizon.

Arthur thought of watching the sunrise … the last time he’d had this ethereal feeling … back wherever he’d been. A sunrise, now a sunset …

He felt his body getting lifted … was he finally leaving?

Just before he closed his eyes, a long howl echoed through his head.

•••••

— To Be Continued

[georgialouisea]

Have you told her?

Pairing - Dean x Reader.

Warnings - Fluff.

Square Filled - Friends to lovers.

Word Count - 2.5k

Written For - @spngenrebingo

SPN Genre Bingo Masterlist

“Dean we shouldn’t be doing this.” Sam sighed as he watched you on your date in the diner across the street.

“We’re just watching out for her.”

“She’s fine Dean, let’s just go back to the bunker.”

“In a minute.”

“You know this is on the cusp of stalking.”

“No, it’s not.” Dean protested rolling his eyes at his brother.

“Why don’t you just tell her you’re in love with her then you won’t have to keep doing this crap and it will be you going on dates with her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, she wouldn’t want to date me anyway.”

Sam huffed out a laugh.

“What?”

“You don’t see the way she looks at you, I’m stuck in the middle of you two all day watching you make love-struck puppy dog eyes at each other when the other isn’t looking.”

“What are you talking about?”

Rolling his eyes with a huff Sam turned to face his brother. “You’re both oblivious to how the other feels, you like her, she likes you, just grow a pair and ask her out for coffee, to dinner or something.”

“It wouldn’t work.”

“Why not? You’ve been friends with her for years, she’s already living with us in the bunker, just ask her out I’m sick of you looking like a kicked puppy every time she has a date or is asked out for a drink with a guy who isn’t you.”

“I don’t do that.” Dean scoffed looking out the towards the diner. “Shit.”

“What?”

“She’s walking this way.” Dean mumbled as he slid lower in his seat, Sam mirroring his brother’s actions.

Walking across the street you watched them sink down on the front bench of the Impala, trying to hide from you. Opening the back door you slid onto the seat shutting the door behind you.

“Either of you want to explain?” You asked looking over the front bench at the two sprawling Winchesters.

Sitting back up Dean turned to face you. “Just checkin’ you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, next time you want to do a stakeout when I’m on a date maybe don’t do it in the loudest and most noticeable cars we have Dean bean.” Patting his chest you sat back in your seat.

“How was the date?” Sam asked turning to face you throwing his arm over the back of the bench.

“He’s nice.” You gave a small shrug as you answered. “Yeah, James is nice.”

“But?” Sam raised his brow at you.

“He’s too nice, he’s a little boring.”

“So you’re not seeing him again?”

“I don’t know.”

“We ready to go home?” Dean asked interrupting your date analysis with his brother as he turned on the engine.

“Yeah, we have something to drink at home right?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Putting the car in drive he pulled the Impala out of its very obvious hiding spot.

-

“So today was a bust huh?” Dean asked pulling a chair out across the library table from you he sat down, grabbing the bottle of whiskey off the table he filled his glass and your own.

“Yeah, I guess it was.” Putting the book you were halfway through down on the table you reached for your glass. “I had a nice time, he was nice but boring, I mean he's a small-town lawyer he doesn’t have an awful lot going on in his life.”

“Civilians not doing it for ya?” He asked taking a sip from his glass.

“Well I’m never going to get out of this life, I love it, I love hunting I think If I’m ever going to settle down or really have a real relationship It’ll be with a hunter, it kind of has to be.” You shrugged putting your glass down on the table.

“Why?”

“How many ex-girlfriends or week-long hookups, who aren’t hunters have you explained this life to?”

“Point taken.” He tipped his glass towards you.

“If I meet someone I meet someone.” Your thumb ran up and down the edge of the glass in your hand.

“Do you want to meet someone?”

“Do you?” You looked up at him, the corner of his lip gently tugging up.

“I think about it.”

“So get this.” Sam walked into the library his laptop resting on one arm as he typed something. Looking up his eyes settled on the open bottle of whiskey, glancing between you and Dean he stopped in his tracks. “Am I interrupting something?” His eyes lingered on Dean waiting for a response.

“No.” Dean sat up straighter.

“Why would you be interrupting?” You asked the taller Winchester as you glanced towards Dean who shot his brother a look.

“No reason.” Putting his laptop down so you could both see the screen he pulled the chair out next to you sitting down. “So I think there’s a case there’s been reports of animal attacks in a small town in Florida.”

“How many reports?” Dean asked before he drained his glass.

“Seven bodies all with hearts missing.”

“So werewolf.”

“Sounds like it, hit the road in ten?” Sam suggested as he closed his laptop and stood up.

“No.” Dean shook his head.

“What?” Sam looked at his brother with a furrowed brow.

“We’ll head out tomorrow morning, we’re all tired and we need a good nights sleep.”

“I can drive -” Sam offered.

“How many hours did you get last night?”

“Erm ... four, maybe.” Sam glanced towards you.

“Exactly, we’re going tomorrow, no one is use to anyone with less than six hours.”

“Okay, bright and early, meet you at the car at six?”

“Sounds good, night Sammy.”

“Night guys.” Walking out of the library he left you alone with Dean.

“You heading to bed?” You asked Dean.”

“One more drink?” Unscrewing the cap on the bottle of whiskey he refilled his glass.

Draining your glass you held it out to him. “What the hell.”

One more drink turned into at least three or four as you talked and laughed with Dean.

“Another?” Dean picked up the nearly empty bottle.

“No.” Putting your empty glass down on the table you stood up, walking around the table towards Dean you took his empty glass and the bottle out of his hands putting them down on the table he pouted up at you. “We, Mr Winchester have a long drive tomorrow, well very nearly today.” You glanced at your watch it was quickly approaching midnight. “We also have a werewolf or two to kill, we need to at least try to sleep.” Holding your hands out towards him he took your hands letting you pull him to his feet, he wasn’t drunk neither of you were just a little buzzed and happier than usual. “Let’s get to bed.”

“I like the sound of that.” He grinned at you as he followed you through the bunker.

“You would.”

Coming to a stop outside his room he let go of your hand. “Are you tired?”

“Not really but we’re not going to carry on drinking.”

“I wasn’t going to suggest we do, go get ready for bed and meet me back here.” Watching him walk into his room he pulled off his flannel when he reached for the hem of his grey v-neck you took it as your cue to leave. You’d seen the Winchester’s shirtless countless times before when you stitched them up or when they were fresh out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around their waists. Truth be told you had seen them both naked at least a handful of times but watching Dean undress in his room felt like a show you shouldn’t be watching. Grabbing a pair of sleep shorts and an old t-shirt which used to be one of Dean’s he’d given you to sleep in two years ago and you’d just never gave it back.

Changing quickly you tried your hair up into a bun on the top of your head as you walked back towards Dean’s room, knocking on his partially open door he pulled it open with one hand as he pulled his shirt down with the other, showing you a flash of the stomach you loved so much. “Come in.” He held his door open for you.

“What are we doing?” Walking into his room his laptop was on at the end of his bed.

“I’m thinkin’ we watch a movie while we fall asleep.”

“We haven’t done that in months.”

“Is that a no?”

“Hell no, I miss this, I miss spending time with you.” Sitting down on his bed you rested against the pillows he’d propped up against his headboard.

“Months of back to back hunts will do that, we should really tell Sam to cool it.” Dean sat down next to you pulling his laptop closer. “What do you wanna watch?” He asked scrolling through Netflix.

“Anything.” Cuddling up to him your cheek rested on his shoulder.

It used to be a regular thing for you to watch a movie with Dean and fall asleep together, it started one night after a very vivid nightmare leaving you unable to sleep without seeing monsters tearing Sam and Dean apart. Dean heard your screams and stayed with you until you were able to breathe normally again, keeping you calm. It was nearly two hours after Dean left your bed that you were walking down the halls towards Dean’s room, knocking on his door he was sat up watching Indiana Jones on his laptop, he didn’t say a word just pulled back the covers in front of him waiting for you to crawl in, as soon as you were in bed with him he wrapped his arms around you waiting until you’d fallen asleep before he turned off the movie and fell asleep himself. Hunting slowly interrupted your little routine with Dean and you felt yourself slowly growing apart from Dean.

“Dean.” Your hand resting over his heart gave his chest a small pat, pulling his attention away from his laptop where Antman’s credits rolled.

“What? Do you want to watch something else?” He mumbled looking down at him.

“No, no.” You smiled up at him.

“You okay?” His arm around your waist gave you a small squeeze.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking.”

“Bout what?”

“What we were talking about earlier, about meeting someone.”

“What about it?”

“What if I’ve already met him?”

“James?” His brow creased slightly.

“No, not the guy I went on one date with, what if I’ve known him for years, he’s a good guy, a great guy even.”

Dean’s hand ran down your side to rest on your hip. “Oh really.” He asked as his lips tugged up at the corners.

“Yeah, I think I’ve met him.”

“You wanna tell me more about him?” His smile slowly grew into a grin.

“Well, he’s tall, not quite as tall as his brother.” Dean’s fingers gave your hip a playful squeeze. “He’s beautiful, his eyes are the most breathtaking shade of green I’ve ever seen, he’s strong, really strong.” Your fingertips danced across his bicep his muscles tensing under your touch. “He makes me feel safe, I know if I’m with him he’d risk his life for mine, he has before, twice.” Running your hand down his chest you pushed the hem of his shirt up slightly your palm resting flat against his stomach, moving your hand towards his side your thumb running over one of his newest scars. “He took a dagger to the side to protect me, pushed me out of the way and let a demon stab him all to save me.” Pulling your hand back towards his stomach your fingers ran over the bullet hole scar, one of the first he’d got protecting you. “And even took a bullet for me, that’s the guy I’d want to think about settling down with, what would you tell a girl who said all of that about you?”

Dean’s palm cupped your cheek. “I’d tell her that I love her and that I’ve been in love with her for years, years before I ever took a bullet for her, that she’s beautiful, smart and funny, she’s my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without her in my life, I’ve seen her go on dates, watched her leave hoping she’d find someone better than me, someone, worthy of her love-”

“Dean kiss me.”

Wasting no time his lips crashed into yours the palm cupping your cheek moved to the back of your head as he held you close. Pulling away his forehead rested against yours. “You’re sure?”

“Dean Winchester -”

“I love you.” He cut you off.

“I love you too, you seriously want to do this?”

“Do I want to date you? Of course I do.”

-

“We should have done this months ago.” Dean kissed you as he pulled the sheets up over your naked bodies.

“God yes.” Flopping back in bed your head rested against the pillows, catching a glimpse of the alarm clock on Dean’s nightstand you gently slapped his chest. “We have an hour before Sam wants us on the road.”

“We can sleep in the car.”

“He’s going to be so pissed at us.”

“Trust me he’s not.” Dean chuckled.

-

Covering up the yawn with your hand you gratefully accepted the travel mug of coffee Dean was holding out towards you. “Thank you.”

“Did you two stay up all night drinking?” Sam asked as he raised a brow at you throwing his duffel into the open trunk slamming it shut.

“No, we didn’t.” Sliding into the backseat you watched Dean throw the keys towards his brother, Sam’s hand darted out catching them before they hit the floor.

“What are you doing?” Sam looked from the keys in his hand to Dean.

“Taking up last night’s offer, you’re driving Sammy.” Getting in the back seat Dean sat next to you. “We’re gonna sleep.”

It only took 30 minutes before you were half asleep resting on Dean’s shoulder, your arm resting across his stomach, Dean’s arm wrapped around your waist.

“So.” Sam raised a brow at his brother in the rearview mirror.

“What?” Dean grumbled in response.

“You weren’t up all night drinking, you either had a movie night or you finally told her how you feel.”

Running your hand across Dean’s stomach you couldn’t help but smile.

“Let us sleep, Sammy.” Dean gave your waist a squeeze.

“You told her, didn’t you? You told her you love her?” Sam looked at Dean with wide eyes.

“Yeah, he did.” Opening your eyes you smiled at Sam.

Leaning down Dean kissed the top of your head.

“I’m happy for you both.” Sam couldn’t help but smile watching the two people closest in his life finally happy together.  

Closing your eyes again you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face.

“Sammy?” Dean mumbled pulling you closer to him as he got comfortable in the back seat

“Yeah?”

“Wake us up when we get there.”

Forever Taglist - 

@mega-loser1298 @smalltowndivaj @roxyspearing @emoryhemsworth @dwgrl1903 @cassieraider @deans-baby-momma @mogaruke @heyitscam99 @mouselovesmusic @supernaturaldean67 @atc74 @witchofenoch @malindacath @skathan-omaha @ain-t-bovvered @beffyblueeyes @serienjunkiegirl @jchona @polina-93 @thefangirlliveson @rhochradel @juanitadiann @amandamdiehl @dixonsunicorn @deanzeppeloin @katieelementarymydearwatsonme @atlas-of-the-world @chelsea072498 @dean-winchesters-bacon @racheo91 @mrswhozeewhatsis @death-unbecomes-you @brewsthespirit-blog @shann-the-artist-moon @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @claitynroberts @spnwoman @angelsandwinchesters @smoothdogsgirl @cdwmtjb8 @perkypolarbear @thisismysecrethappyplace @tatertot1097 @jessieray98 @gh0stgurl @starfirerules @kcrews74 @calaofnoldor @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @screechingartisancashbailiff @malindacath @kolelondon24 @natura1phenomenon @thehufflepuffblog @lemondropirwin @babypink224221 @mariekoukie6661 @mymysosa @blackcherrywhiskey @lonely-skys @titty-teetee @foreverwayward @81mysteriouslyme @x-waywardaf-x @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog @paintballkid711 @sandlee44 @deanwinchesterswitch @supernatural-harrypotter7 @ilovefanfic86  @sleepylunarwolf @lauravic @caryswhogoesbothways @broadwaybaby25

Dean Taglist -

@akshi8278 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @dramaqueenrolf @itsallaboutthedean @shadowysandwichcreator @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme  @ruprecht0420 @hobby27 @05spn18 @stevieboyharrington @aussiefangirlwolfy @destiel-equals-life @waywardrose13 @supernatural13-13 @vickyfarley @musiclovinchic93 @spnskinnyballs @adoptdontshoppets @flamencodiva @parksandrecmyass @brightestflame @hhiggs @princessofthefandomrealm @clarewinchester

[musingsmemes]

                   ~Happiness Begins by Jonas Brothers Album Lyrics~

Sucker

"Better than birds of a feather, you and me.”

“I follow you through the dark, can’t get enough.”

“You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain.”

“I’m a sucker for you.”

“You say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly.”

“Any road you take, you know that you’ll find me.”

“I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things“

“'Cause I know you and you know everything about me.”

Cool

"I'm feeling so cool”

“I comb my hair like an old school Sheen“

“Is it me or am I just havin' a good year?“

“And now that we've made it, how complicated was last year?“

Only Human

"I don't want this night to end”

“ It’s closing time, so leave with me again”

“Let's find a place where happiness begins“

“Just dance in the living room, love with an attitude“

“ It's only human, you know that it's real”

“So why would you fight or try to deny the way that you feel?“

“Oh, babe, you can't fool me, your body's got other plans“

“I’m praying you don't change your mind“

“’Cause leaving now just don't feel right“

“Let's do it one more time, oh babe“

I Believe

"Every night, every day, how about every lifetime?”

“Yeah, I know what they say, and that's fine“

“'Cause I'm here to stay through the good and the bad times“

“Baby, save me a space in your mind, yeah“

“And people saying that we move too fast“

“'Cause you show me something I can't live without“

“When you hold me, it's like Heaven coming down“

“Now that I got you close, I'm alright“

“Baby, I didn't know, but I'm glad that you found me“

“Nothing matters any longer, now I got you here with me”

Used To Be

"But you used to be the one I love”

“I'm the only one you know that'll listen“

“Too many devils on your shoulder“

“Cold feet turned into cold weather“

“We had love, now it don't matter“

“So tired of chasing all your demons“

“But you know I'll come around if you ask me“

Every Single Time

"Call me up and say you're needin' my love”

“But you don't ever think about us“

“Why do, why do, why do, why do I want you“

“And now I'm out here catching feelings like I want you“

“But keep me on the line, if loving you's a crime“

“Every single time, I keep on coming back to you“

“Then I won't keep my love locked down for you“

“Making love through every season“

“You think, you think it's only physical“

“I never thought that we'd come this far“

Don’t Throw It Away

"Take pictures out of all the frames”

“Pack up your love with all your things“

“See if it helps, give it a week“

“I bet no one else gets you like me“

“'Cause I know you think you’re better off without me now“

“But don't throw it away this time, just take a little time to think“

“Don't throw it away, your mind is messin' with your head again“

“Don’t save the words ’til it's too late“

“If it's too much to open up, then give it time“

“I know it hurts and that’s okay“

“I see it in your eyes so let's sleep on it tonight“

Love Her

"Then she’s afraid she's said too much”

“Opposites attract and we're the livin’ proof of this“

“But I keep on comin' back like a magnet“

“No matter the fight you know she's always right“

“But seein' her smile can get you every time“

“I put my selfish ways in boxes“

“And I promise I’ll never walk away“

“Gotta learn to let the small things go“

“And know it's always far from perfect“

“But the hardest parts are always worth it“

Happy When I’m Sad

"Lookin' like I'm never going to be that again”

“Never gonna stay friends, yeah, stay friends“

“They think I'm happy when I'm sad“

“Can't look how we made it, say "Congratulations"“

“See me in the mirror, nothin' ever changes“

“Never see the sunset, only in my head“

“Never gonna stop, never gonna calm down“

“I put on a smile, don't need a face-lift“

“Why can't I when everybody fakes it?“

Trust

"I don't trust myself when I'm around you”

“Lately, I don't think I even know me“

“Take me back to when you were my only“

“And all at once, it's like I'm being someone else, yeah“

“You're all I want, but I know that you're bad for my health“

“Doing things I never do, acting like a damn fool“

“Thinkin' 'bout my lips upon your mouth, yeah“

“But I know that I could never live without you“

“Got me weak in the knees, my God, can't breathe“

Strangers

"I came here looking for another excuse”

“To run away from something beautiful“

“It's like it’s driving me closer to you“

“Every step back pulls me right back to you“

“Time stands still and it's only us“

“What we feel started way before we ever touched“

“Yeah, you found me right before I'd given up“

“Knew it right then when I looked in your eyes“

“Been here before and it just feels right“

“You say my name like it's been on your lips“

“You got a heart that I know I can miss“

“Hold me like that and pull me right back again“

Hesitate

"Kiss the tears right off your face”

“Time, time only heals if we work through it now“

“I will take your pain“

“You saved me once and now I'll save you too“

“I thank the oceans for giving me you“

“Don't you ever say goodbye“

“If I could only read your mind“

“Pull me close and I'll hold you tight“

“Know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you“

“Don't be scared 'cause I'm on your side“

Rollercoaster

"Days lifted in a haze, we weren't just a phase”

“I remember low lows and high highs”

“It was fun when we were young and now we're older“

“We were up-and-down and barely made it over“

“But I'd go back and ride that roller coaster“

“Those days that are the worst, they seem to glow now“

“Now everything has changed, we found better days“

Comeback

"Come back to me, baby, I'll come back to you”

“I get scared when you're scared but what else can I do?“

“I’ll be on the way like a bat out of hell“

“Heaven knows I'm proud but I'll turn 'round“

“Light up the world like only you can do“

“ If you’re lost on the way then I'll get lost too”

“You know the place that I go running to“

First

"Ooh, it's amazing that you came here”

“When we go out like that, and you don't write me back“

“I thought that we had a connection, yeah“

“Pull me in to push me back, I ain't going out like that“

“You're the kind of person to put yourself first“

“Acting like it's nothing only makes it worse“

“You're the kind of person to boost yourself worth“

“And you been playing me since day one, yeah“

“And truth is I think that I like the torture“

“I adored you, but I warned you“

[naromoreau]

The place it starts, a Sharky x F!Dep fic

How Sharky would propose Dep. Had this idea running in my mind and just went for it. Big thanks to @deputyshitlordsantana and @absurdwanderlust for giving it a read!

This is just fluff.

---------------

“M’kay.”

Ovened frozen pizza, uh, more like microwaved but still? Check.

Boxed wine and cups? Check.

Donna in the boombox? Check.

Note with reservation for the ink-place? - He patted his ass - Check.

Sharky gave a quick glance around, moving the chairs a bit to the left, then a bit to the right and stared at the single bitterroot in the glass cup. Man, he almost broke his neck and lost one leg getting it from up north, hikin’ up ‘til his legs were sore. But it was worth it. After all it was her favourite. He still owed Nick big time for flyin’ him close and he intended to pay him, he wasn’t a cheap ass.

He fumbled through the crammed interior of his trailer, taking shit aside, and tossing half-clean - half-swanked - depending who you asked - pieces of clothing over the counter, aiming to the empty laundry basket in the corner. Score.

He ruffled his hair more than once, still adjusting to the feel of taking his cap off and tugged his best shirt into his pants, standing in front of the bathroom mirror, hoping everything wasn’t just wishful thinking from his part. That’d be just awful. And weird. Maybe he just should forget about the whole fucking thing and chuck the idea out the nearest window. Oh man. Now he was feeling all dazed and fuzed but not in a cool way, more like those times he’d tried some of Hurk’s new blends and next day the hangover was worse than having to smell the armpits of a bunch of shit-eating peggies breakfast-lunch-dinner.

Maybe-- Maybe he should pack his eagerness real tight. Like get really know each other, and for once instead of swallowing down the cake, he should chew it slowly, like really get the mouthfeel of it. But the shit was he didn’t wanna wait. Not when everything was crumbling down, falling apart like burning paper, ashes scattered in the wind. Like his folks who waited ages and then after he was born, things just went south, like to the motherfucking hell down route 66, beyond repair.

Fuck no.

‘Cause whenever she was close, damn, it was all firecrackers bursting, searing bliss flowing deep in his heart, heart thudding and palms sweating, feeling like he was scrabbling frantically at the best thing that had ever happened to him. To not let go. Somehow she’d pieced together all the small, variegated shreds in his life in a patchwork without loose strands, and he’d been hooked.

A loud clunk at the door made him flinch, almost toppling his old soccer trophy from the shelf, in his rush to open it.

Dep leaned against the door, arms crossed over her chest, clad in her usual jeans and green flannel. “You missed me, hot stuff?”

Sharky flushed up to his ears before that smile. That smile right there that always seemed to pull him up of any dark holes and made his existence already better by default.

“Fuck yes, shorty,” he said ushering her in, slinging his arm around her trim waist, a little too conscious about the waves of panic pushing up his throat thinkin’ about what the next hour would hold for him.

“Care for a kiss?”

She rose on her tippy toes, and Sharky’s heart drummed, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. Man he was never gonna get used to how heavenly it felt. He kissed her, brushing those full, soft lips with his own, and his mind cruised back to the first months together trudging across the hills. Like back when he’d realized his crush and tried to stomp that annoying little voice telling him there was no way she could reciprocate him, ‘cause the evidence was just right there hitting him in the fucking face day in and day out. Painfully conscious of what a piece of shit he was, just a dumb dropout with an overfixation for blowing things up and talking his brain out. So any minute now she was gonna cut tail and leave him hanging, and he’d better fringe himself with vapid babbler and feigned apathy.

But she didn’t, Jesus fucking Christ, she didn’t, instead sending his fears outta his mind down an over lubricated slip ‘n slide with just a couple of well-put sentences.

“Hey,” Rook rasped, snagging her face off his and looking at him with a furrowed brow, “‘s something wrong? You look pale, man.”

His heart leapt to his throat, all of him absolutely wrapped in a sheet of mind-numbing nervousness. “Nah, just-uh, just been thinking ‘bout-- are you hungry? ‘Cuz there's ah, there's a lotta pizza to share, want ‘sum?,” he blurted out, relying on his mouth to slalom through the distinct set of doubts arising in Dep’s face.

“Uh-sure, yeah, why not?”

He sighed when she dropped the issue giving him some respite and made her way to the table. Her face lit up fixing her gaze on the lavender flower over the mantelpiece and the dimples at the sides of her face flared alive.

“Wait- Is this for me?”

“Uh, yeah. Caught it just north,” he said shrugging as if his heart wasn’t whacking his chest at every pulse, “‘cuz y’know, thought uh, thought you liked that stuff.”

She flashed him a sheepish smile, seating on one of the folding chairs, fingers playing with the purple petals. “Thanks,” she said staring at him, “for everything.”

Fuck. It was hard to focus when those eyes looked at you, and sure he was they did something more than see. “Uh, sure babe, I got you,” he said, brain slogging away to find his balance again.

“Here, shorty,” he cracked, extending the whole platter of smoking pizza and placing it at the center of the table, “grab a bite.”

“This is real good, man,” she mumbled through a mouthful of cheese, “but holy fuck, is hot.”

Sharky grinned, carrying wine and cups back to her, absentmindedly pressing play on the boombox.

She quirked a brow, cheeks bunched up middle-chewing. “Eh, am I missing something here?”

“Uh, don’t think so,” he said, face flushed, studiously avoiding her eyes.

“Shark, seriously, you ain’t that subtle, I mean I love you but yeah, stealth? That's not your strength, dude.”

“So a man can’t uh, can’t work up somethin’ for his girlfriend without said girlfriend suspecting foul play? That what you saying, babe?”

“Pretty much.”

Oh damn. She was onto him like a hawk over a wild hare. He swallowed, torn between dodging the assault or surrender, spilling ‘til the last bit of surreal longing outta his mouth. Fuck it. “Want a drink?”

Real smooth.

“Sure,” she said, extending her empty cup, still squinting slightly and with the glimpse of a smile on her face.

“Uh, well y’know, we’ve been uh, sticking together for a while now,” he said over the glug of wine as he poured, “and I was thinking, y’know, uh, what you plan to do once all this shit has cleared up?”

He stuffed a slice of pizza in his mouth to chew at his own wavering doubts with every hard sink of his teeth on the thin crust.

She cocked her head, apparently mulling his question. “I guess… I guess I’ll help Whitehorse to rebuild whatever is left to rebuild.”

“That’s cool, man.” He cleared his throat, ‘cause it was obvious the subtle approach was flyin’ way over her metaphorical stetson. “But I mean uh, where do you see, um, our awesome ass kickin’- name-takin’ partnership going after we, uh, wrap this shit up, if I may ask?”

He burrowed his red-hot cheeks on the edge of his cup, trying to take a sip of wine but almost toppling the cup and he hoped she wasn’t attentively noting his antics.

“I don’t know, Shark, I thought you were stickin’ around-” She drew to an abrupt stop, the glint of a panicked expression winking into existence around her eyes. “Are-are you,”  she cleared her throat and had a swig of her drink before keep going, “do you wanna end this-us?”

What the fuck?

“The fuck no!” The words hurtled out of his mouth in a violent rush, but the mere idea shook him to the core. “Where the fuck did you get that vibe from, shorty? This whole romantic as shit setup screams I wanna break up with you? Like seriously you need to reevaluate your life if you think it is ‘cause it ain’t-”

“Fine, fine!” She spread her hands trying to placate his outburst, “I don’t know, Shark, but you have the most weird fucking filter ever and also you’re so damn sweet I thought you were trying to dump me without hurting my feelings.”

“Fuckin’ Christ and why would I do that huh? Like you could stab me in the nuts and I ain’t considering it, like I’m an idiot but I haven't reached that peak dumbassery.”

She caved in a gale of laughter, until it ebbed away into an honest-to-god grin. “Sorry, Shark, I just, I dunno, I thought--I thought maybe you just got tired to put up with my bullshit and I mean it’s not your job to run around fixing this clusterfuck-”

“You kiddin’ me right? Fuck, babe this is why I keep tellin’ ya you really need to see those movies, like I can't stress this enough ‘cause ride or die is our motto and I ain’t messin’ with ya.”

He reached a calloused hand over the table, stilling his fingers over hers, hiding a wayward shiver riding up and down his spine.

She was chewing her bottom lip, obviously waiting for him to keep going and he tried to shake off the thought he was grasping at delusions.

“Okay, so, uh, here it goes.” He shuffled in his seat, trying to steady his shallow breath and the haze of his mind. “Since I met ya uh, things have really changed for me, in a good--no, in an awesome way and let’s face it babe, half the time I don't even know why you chose me, no, no, hear me out m’kay?”

He rose to his feet, pulling her with him, cupping her chin to tilt her head up. “Like you could’ve had Smirkin’ Fuckface Seed if you were into stickin’ your tongue in psycho,” he stopped to allow her to stifle a laugh, “but for some reason you’re here and I was thinkin’ uh, that maybe you weren’t totally opposed to uh, become my Mrs?”

A jumble of fears jostled in his mind when she didn’t answer him right away, already smacking himself hard when she pulled him down, swilling his breath.

And she said yes among kisses, as he fancied their future with eyes closed, tears stinging behind his lashes.

He groaned, remembering a fine detail left out and whispered. “Just forgot to tell ya, I mean I know I should get ya a ring but given our current situation that's a no-go babe.”

“Shark, I don't give a fuck about the ring,” she said trying to kiss him again.

“Yeah, but I-I do and… here, look, what ya think?” He offered her the folded piece of paper right from his back pocket watching a helpless smile span to life on her face.

“Tattoed rings?” She brought her hand up to her face, eyes glinting with delight. “Fuck yeah, babe-- god I love you, Sharky.”

“‘Aight, then, it's settled, and yeah shorty y'know how much I love you.” He held her close, as they swirled and twirled, shimmying slowly at the rhythm of the swelling music, all fears stealing away and fading into the light of dusk.

-------

Tagging: @shartyboshaw

[eerythingisshaka]

Wakanda Got Y’all Pt. 4

[Black Panther x Insecure Crossover]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Word Count: 2.8K

A/N:  I know I said this would be the last chapter buuuuut....stay tuned for more!

Molly grips the edge of the counter her sink rests in as she takes a deep breath.  She tries to concentrate on the patterns in her bathroom walls as Erik does his work between her legs.

“How you feelin?”  He asks, looking up at her with a slight smirk.

Molly bites her lip, thinking about how she couldn’t believe she happening.  “It’s good, so far.”

Erik nods.  “Bet.  Lift that other leg up a bit.  I ain’t tryna miss nothin, you know?”

He taps her inner thigh with the back of his hand until she got the message, spreading herself further.

“You ever do this before?”  Molly asked nervously.

Erik bobs his head here and there.  “Ehhh, only one time I remember a female being really down for it, but everyone else is like, offended and shit.”

Molly exhales in disbelief, “Aww, for real?  Tsk, this saves me some wrist strain.  It’s nice to be offered, cuz I definitely wasn’t askin, who would?  Just don’t do too much, being an Edward Scissorhands and shit.”

Erik flexed his dimples as he licked his lips in concentration of her center.  He had already put in most of the work already, he just wanted to get to her outer lips a little.

Taking the razor in one hand, he places one finger against her outer labia for a flatter surface area, dragging the blade along her skin with the grain.  The scratchy sound of the razor taking down the stubble is the soundtrack to the room as Molly holds her breath awaiting him to finish.  She wanted to stroke his locs, but figured that would mess up his flow.  He wipes the razor off, repeating the process until she was clean.  

Erik nods, surveying his work with pride.  “There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but I think this is my favorite.”

Molly looks down for herself, feeling her freshly shaved exterior.  “Yeahhh, look at that?  You ever thought about doing this professionally?”

Erik stands in front of Molly, doing his shrug with a silly face.  “I don’t think I have.  But when I look into it, you can write my recommendation, in detail.”

Their shared laughter slowly faded into blank expressions as Molly felt herself heat with anxiety.  She studied Erik’s eyes dilating, plush lips just inches from hers, she wasn’t quite sure how to proceed.

Erik licks his lips. “You wanna do somethin else, now?” his voice saturated with testosterone fueled bass.

Molly stares at him, eyes wide, swallowing to keep her voice steady.  “Uh, I think you wanted to watch somethin on the TV….right?”

Erik looks down Molly’s body before returning to her face.  “If that’s it, you may wanna bring that leg down again.”

Molly curses under her breath as she pulls her dress back down, crossing her ankles.  

Erik chuckles, “You actin shy NOW is too damn funny.  That’s cool though, I’m bout to head out.”

Molly looks after him heading out her bathroom door.  “Wha-what about a nightcap?  My Netflix list is really thick, if you still wanna chill!”  She gets up to go after him.

Erik picks his jacket off her couch walking for her front door.  “Nah, I ain’t really been into what’s available anyway.”

As Erik turns back to her once more, Molly rubs her arm, wondering how to leave their conversation.  “Um, well, thanks for the shape up?”

Erik flashed his golds, lookin at the floor, “Yeah, thanks for trusting me with a razor after a drink.”

Molly stands there until she squints at him suspiciously.  “And that’s really gonna be it?  My pussy was on full display, and you ain’t tryin shit?”

Erik cocks his head to the side. “You tryna see my dick to call it even?”

Molly wheezes with embarrassment.  “Whaaaaa? Who said that? Don’t try me, ol boy!”

Erik steps to Molly, lookin straight down in her face, “You don’t act like you ready to try a damn thing, witcha shy actin ass,”  Erik says, practically growling.

Molly, gulps again.  Soon as Erik closes in on her, she is a puddle.  “I just don’t know you for real, or what to expect, you know?  It’s-”

Erik shakes his head, “See, you already thinkin too much bout it.  I’m here, you here.  I’m cool, you fine as hell...and I know you think the same.”

Molly kisses her teeth, “Nigga, don’t flatter yourself.”

ERik raises an eyebrow, “I could see it for myself.  The towel was necessary back there-”

Molly pops him in his arm, hurting herself more than him.  “Whatever, boy!  Go on then, I’m good.”

“You good?”

Molly nods.

Erik leans his head down hovering over her mouth.  They look in each other’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity, before Molly closes the gap.  Slowly they sucked on each other’s lips, like ripened fruit.  Molly caught herself leaning into a little further than she consciously meant to, before Erik pulls back.

“Maybe you ain’t so shy.  We’ll see though.  Call me when you need another appointment, Moll.”

Molly closes the door after him, leaning on the doorframe, completely hot and bothered.  

----

“And that’s all that happened?”  Issa asks her incredulously over a stack of chicken and waffles.

Molly shrugs, pickin at her food, “Girl, that was it.  My snatch was all there for him to do what he wanted, but all he did was help a sistah out.”

“Well I wish a nigga would offer me some salon care if I needed to clear some brush.  That oughta be a requirement.”

Molly laughs, “Could you imagine niggas going to a trade school to learn that because that’s what needs to be done to get pussy?”

“Shit, they do that for cars, clothes, and shit.  Get some skills that are useful for once, save a bitch a dollar.”

“Right?  So….. I don’t know.  He told me to call him if I need a touch up.”  Molly says.

Issa looks at Molly suspiciously, “Now, did he really say that, cuz he startin to sound kinda….” her voice trails off as she wiggles her hand side to side.

Molly screws her face up, “No, dang!  It’s a euphemism, no doubt.  But, I don’t know….”

Issa shrugs, “I know you not gettin cold feet after he has literally played with ya pussy already.  Somethin backwards about that.”

Molly waves her hands, “I know!! It just seemed too intimate to do that and NOT have sex.  I ain’t ready to be wifin niggas up or nuthin.”

“Girl, I’m sure he playin you as hard as you playin him, so don’t think too much.  Just call him up cuz I know you hate clingy dudes, so make your plans.”

Molly pulls out her phone side eyeing Issa.  “Pssh, whatever, miss know-it-all.  Swear you know somebody life.”  Molly grumbles under her breath.  As she texts Erik, she asks Issa, “What about T’Challa though?  When’s your movie date?”

“Umm, supposed to be tomorrow.  And it’s not a date, it’s just...an outing between colleagues to blow off steam.”

Molly scoffs putting down her phone.  “Is that what we callin it these days?  Is that why you asked me about the vaginal rejuvenation buy one get one free promo on Groupon?”

Issa rolls her eyes.  “Female hygiene/reproductive health is important.”

“Bullshit, you gettin ya walls waxed for a slip and slide.”  Molly quips.

“Ok!  I don’t even know what he is down for.  He from the motherland and everything, he might be saving himself.”

Molly pauses, pressing her fist to her mouth.  “It is the biggest misconception that these foreign fools out here all high and mighty, chaste.  Sure there’s some, but TRUST men are men, across all borders.  Food and women:  serve it up, they eatin.”

Issa talks out the side of her mouth.  “Everyone ‘cept you apparently….”

“Aight you can pay your own meal if you wanna talk.”

“Nooo!  I love you!  You’re so great!  Pussy is bomb, sure he gon nom!”  Issa sings beggingly.

---

The evening of the associate outing with T’Challa was less than an hour away, and Issa took her place at the mirror.  Looking at her fiercest rival, herself, she catches a rhythm in her head and start bobbing, feelin herself.

Yo, I been peeped that you really feelin me.

So the next step oughta come quite  naturally.

You can make ya move, but remember I’m the driver.

Don’t want a minute man, don’t even think of gettin tired.

Movie popcorn too high priced, it’s really wack

So how about you try making this nani ya snack?

New name alert, you can her goldfish

Make this pussy smile back, dip in my well and make a wish--

Issa sighs heavily, “Why you so damn horny?”  she touches up her eyebrows as her phone goes off.  T’Challa texts her saying he is on the way to the theatre.  Issa confirms, saying she is too.  She spends another fifteen minutes touching up her face and taking pictures for the ‘gram before heading out in her car.  

Issa bops to her Frank Ocean, getting good vibes and feeling completely full and ready for this night.  It was really starting to feel like a stress reliever.

Suddenly a bump hits her tire.  Issa stills herself as her car rolls violently and rickety down the street.  The rhythmic plop of her tire with every rotation signaled she just made herself a flat tire.

“Shit, shit, nooo!”  Issa curses out loud as she pulled over to the first lear space she could find on the side of the road.  Getting out she begrudgingly surveyed the damage: completely flat.

“Fuck!  Why me!”  Issa yelled to the sky as she clopped over to lean on her car in frustration.  Alone in a cute outfit with brokedown transportation at night wasn’t the best situation for her to be in so she pulls her phone out to call T’Challa and cancel first.

He picks up on the first ring.  “Hello, Ms. Issa.  Are you close?”

Issa picks at the hem of her shorts.  “No, I gotta give you a raincheck, I’m sorry.”

T’Challa sighs disappointed.  “Ahh, did you have other plans then?”

Issa double checks her surroundings.  “I wish I did right now, but no I’m not trying to skip out, my car just gave up on me.”

“Oh, do you need a ride?”  T’Challa asks with a little more perkiness.

Issa pauses.  “Uh, I guess, if you don’t mind?  I don’t want to put you out since you’re already there.”

“Oh no!  It is ok.  Please, just let me know where you are.”  T’Challa says.

She can hear his keys jingling as she tells him her address, going back in her car to wait.

T’Challa’s car pulls up behind hers.  He gets out leaning on her driver’s side.  “That’s a nasty flat.”

Issa sighs, “I needed new tires anyway.  I was waiting for a bonus at work, but why not now, right?”

T’Challa looks at her empathetically, stroking his chin.  “Life has a funny way of doing things like that.”

Issa nods, looking at the time on her phone, groaning with disappointment.  “The movie already started.  We won’t get another showing for another two hours.  I knew I should’ve let you go on home instead of getting me, now that we can’t make the show.”

T’Challa wears a long face.  “I was really looking forward to that show about….the dog?”

Issa chuckles, “Yeeaah, that meets the robot and they save Wall Street?”

T’Challa smiles, the apples of his cheeks invading his facial structure.  “Ahh, an Oscar worthy film, indeed.   Shame to miss…..well at least let me take you home then.”  T’Challa opens her car door as he guides her to his.

“Thank you again, I really appreciate it.”  The ride to her house was quiet.  Issa wasn’t sure what to say since the night was presumably over, but it could also not be over.  She was a grown woman, without a curfew or a parent at home, who could tell her what not to do.  But she certainly didn’t feel comfortable enough to have him burn his gas to turn around and go somewhere else now.  Issa sneaks a look over a T’Challa concentrated on the road.  His arm outstretched, toned and shapely with not so humble muscles.  His long, knuckly hands grip the wheel, subtly massaging the rim.  Issa checks her phone to pass the time, coming up with a game plan as he pulls up to her spot.

He drops his hands to his lap, looking over at Issa.  “Well here we are, Ms. Issa.  If you want to go get your car in the morning, let me know.  I don’t mind at all helping out.  Do you have a spare?”

Issa shakes her head, “No...responsibility isn’t my strongest characteristic.”

T’Challa smirks, “I don’t see you that way at all.  You have many talents as I have seen, and you are a great help to me and the team.”

Issa cheeses, “Well, if you say so, I’ll take it!”

T’Challa leans his head on the headrest.  “It’s true, you are a smart woman.   That’s how I know we can be a success.  It’s not lost on me the cultural differences between me and the community here, but with you as a liason, I can make sure no one is offended or lost in my accent.”

Issa chuckles, “It’s all good.  That lady and her kids were really just looking for a fight.  People aren’t always at their best when accepting help so expect some struggle, but I hear you, no problem at all to bridge that gap.  As for the accent, keep that.  It’s a great ice breaker.”

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah.  People perk up to it automatically to listen closer, so if you have meaningful shit to say, it’ll land quicker.  Plus it’s sexy as…..”  Issa’s voice fades as she catches herself saying too much.

T’Challa tucks his lips and nods, looking ahead as they sit for a while in silence.  Issa cursed herself for getting too forward but also, it had to be said; or at least she convinced herself of that.  How else could she try to lay claim to him without a little flirting?  Issa wasn’t ready to call it a night, so she worked up some inner hood nerve.

“So, you wanna come up or nah?!”  Issa asked with a little too much bass in her voice.

T’Challa looked at her half like she was crazy but slowly smiled.  “You would like some company?”

Issa clears her throat nodding, “I mean, sure.  I’m reclaiming my time!  Just cuz we can’t see a new movie doesn’t mean we can’t hang out.  If you want to, you got the green light….”  Issa’s voice trails off as she studies T’Challa’s reaction.

He takes his keys out of the ignition.  “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

Issa and T’Challa make their way up to her place, going in she turns on the light.  “Sorry for the mess.  I stay unprepared for company.”

T’Challa stands surveying the surroundings.  “Oh, it’s alright.  I’m just content to be invited.”

Issa picks some clothes off of the couch and cups from the table.  “Please, sit.  Do you drink?”

T’Challa sits, picking up a pillow, studying its design.  “Occasionally; I wouldn’t mind a glass.  Who is this?”

Issa pulls out a bottle looking back at him staring at the pillow.  “Oh that’s Frank Ocean.  Have you heard him?”

T’Challa shakes his head.  “No, but you must think highly of him.”

Issa screws her face up as she pours some cheap moscato.  “I mean, he cool.  I just really liked the pillow.”

T’Challa reads her reaction.  “You don’t have to be embarrassed, it’s cute.”

Issa nods and whispers a cheer to herself at being called cute as she walks the glasses over to him.  “Yeah, I’m a big music head.  Nicki Minaj is around here somewhere but she may be on time out anyway.  Gettin all loud and outta pocket.”  

T’Challa laughs into his glass as he sips.  “I see.  Well, it’s nice to see someone laying down the law in their home.”

Issa gulps her drink as his vice dropped to a sexy octave.  “Mhm!  That’s me!  All business round here.”

T’Challa leans forward putting his drink down.  “Well we aren’t on the clock now, thank goodness.  This week was very crazy.”

“The craziest!  But that should be a sign that it’s on the way for the better now.”

T’Challa turns to Issa, looking at her a little too long.  “Wise words from an attractive woman.”

Issa was internally screaming at this blunt response, but laughs it off to keep the mood light.  “Well the lighting in here is deceptive sometime, and I had a pimple this morning, so...”  

“No joke, don’t sell yourself short.”  T’Challa says as he leans towards Issa, who was not ready, but became completely ready to try him on.  They embrace slowly.  His lips plush against hers, his hands remain at a gentlemanly section of her leg as her heart beats out of her chest.  The associate outing just got a little personal.

Part 5

RagTag

@hbicprettyprincess

@kimianostalgia

@afraiddreamingandloving

@chaneajoyyy

@myfavemarvelfanfics

@nys30

@blkintrovert

@allhailnjadaka

@cutewylie 

Other Works

King Kil’mawalls  

T’akia

Some Weeks Are Better Than Others

Commencement Day

Song of Stevens

The Coffee Prince

N’Jadaka’s Helpful Hands

If I Could Do It All Again

#SundaySweat

Signs of Rain

World’s Best Baba

[nialledfromfics]

chapter eight part one

Spending her nights in Niall’s bed became the norm for them over the course of the following two weeks, so much so that Chloe couldn’t even remember what her own bed felt like. But there were actual reasons for why they both chose to stay at Niall’s; one was Finny, and two…they still hadn’t told anyone. Not a single one of their friends knew what was going on or what was happening between them, and with Chloe and Liz living together, she was not about to take the chance of her catching them and Chloe having to explain how it all weirdly went down. They both avoided Hump Day drinks like the plague and also Jack’s football get together that following Sunday, each of them making excuses as to why they couldn’t show up.

But it really was better that way, at least for the time being. And if Chloe was being honest, it had been a long time since she had really dated anyone, and unbeknownst to Niall, there was a small part of her that feared if anyone were to find out, it would somehow spoil everything she had with him and she so desperately didn’t want that to happen. She wasn’t ready for it to be spoiled. She wasn’t ready to let any of them know, she wasn’t ready to share him.

Niall had no opinion either way, he was just happy to be with Chloe. If she needed time before telling their friends, and the world, about them, then that was totally fine with him. He got to enjoy her, be with her and that was all the really mattered, everything else was just a bonus. She assured him that they would let everyone know soon, she just wasn’t quite ready at that point and through lots of kisses and warm cuddles, and mind blowing sex, Niall made sure she knew that he was completely on board with whatever decision she was comfortable with.

Chloe still went to work as usual, trying to remain as cool and collected as she could possibly be in her situation, when all she really wanted to do was run around the salon screaming about how freaking happy she was and spill every single tantalizing detail to Liz. She was still her best friend after all. Following her long days at work, she’d head right over to Niall’s place, spending the rest of her evenings with him and Fionn. They would all eat dinner together, watch movies, play games and it was honestly the most fun Chloe had ever had, something she wasn’t expecting at all.

But after putting Finny to bed, that was when it became Niall and Chloe time and that was what she really looked forward to the most. Just being in his arms as they cuddled on the couch, her head laying on his chest as he played with her hair. His body hovering over hers, dripping in sweat as he pushed himself inside her, urging her sweet moans from her throat. Laughing at some dumb story he told her as they laid naked in his bed, her toes rubbing over the tops of his feet. Kissing him, touching him, fucking him, just relishing in his warmth and his body and his mind and everything that she had grown to treasure and crave from him and everything she had realized she been missing out on for so long.  

It was all so real and easy and beyond perfect and it was so much more than Chloe, or Niall, had ever imagined it would be.

“Night, bud!”

Chloe stepped back into the hallway as Niall went to shut Finny’s bedroom door. “Chloe!” His small voice rang out from the darkened room, Chloe shooting her wide eyes to Niall before popping her head into the room just past the door frame.

She could barely see the glow of his little face from his night light. “What’s up, Fionn?”

“Good night.”

Breathing out a smile, she shook her head as she heard Niall chuckle from behind her. “Good night, Finny,” she replied, blowing him a tiny kiss, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

With a soft ‘ ‘kay’, Finny turned over in his bed and closed his eyes as Chloe slipped back out of the doorway, Niall gently easing it closed. “He’s a complete nutter,” Niall whispered, quirking his brow at Chloe.

“He’s cute,” she quipped, pushing a hand to the front of his stomach, “just like his father.” Niall huffed out a laugh as they both started to walk down the hall and into the living room, Niall making his way over to the couch and collapsing down onto the thick cushions. “You want a beer?” Chloe casually asked him as she passed by and shuffled into the kitchen.

“Yeah, sure,” Niall called out over his shoulder. Spinning around right as she stepped into the kitchen, Chole peered over at Niall. All she could see was the side of his face; the dark shadow of his stubble and his soft mess of brown hair as he focused on the TV, but it was more than enough to cause a flurry of intricate waves in her tummy. She loved looking at him, especially when he had no idea that she was doing it. As he was happily playing with Fionn; both boys sprawled out on the floor with carbon-copy smiles and giggles spilling out of them, or as he was tucking Finny in bed, Niall snuggled up next to him as he read the little boy his favorite nighttime story. When he was cuddling with her on the couch, Niall engrossed in a movie as the faint blue-glow of the television screen danced along his nose and tiny dark eyelashes, or when they were laying in bed and he had just drifted off to sleep after being with her; Chloe nestled on her side and just letting her tired stare dreamily soak up every single impeccable detail of him. He was so handsome to her, rugged in ways but so soft in others, just barely teetering on annoyingly perfect and what Chloe didn’t know is that all the times that she wasn’t finding herself staring intently at Niall, he was finding himself staring even more deeply at her.

It had only been a few days since she had told Niall that she was ready to be with him, ready for whatever laid ahead for them but Chloe swore that every time she looked at him, it felt as if time stood still. And she knew he felt exactly the same.

Grabbing the beverages from the fridge, Chloe made her way back out to the living room to join Niall, quietly stopping right in front of him as she held out an opened beer. He tipped his head back to curiously peek up at her. “Thanks, love,” he said as he took the bottle from her hand and rested it on his thigh, his soft blue eyes lazily shifting down her body. She really had no clue how absolutely stunning she was. Niall was aware that Chloe knew she was a beautiful girl, but not in the way that Niall knew. Not in the way that he saw her. Even in her baggy t-shirt and lounge shorts, with her black hair tied up in a messy knot and the days’ makeup cleaned off her face, that was when Niall knew. A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he shot his eyes back up to hers and lifted the beer to his lips, taking a decent swig.

Chloe let out a small huff as Niall glanced back over at the TV, her teeth faintly chewing at the inside of her lip and her fingertips pressing deep into the cold glass of her beer bottle. Tilting her head to the side, Niall’s eyes quickly flashed from the TV screen back up to Chloe, his mind slightly perplexed as to why she was still standing there staring down at him like that. “You look gorgeous, ya know that?”

She rolled her eyes, a heat stinging across her cheeks as she fought off a smile and buried the side of her face down into her shoulder. The response was so cute, Niall couldn’t help but snort out a chuckle. “C’mere, love.”

He motioned her over to him with a pat on his thigh, Chloe lightly biting down on her lip as she bent over to set her beer on the coffee table before climbing right onto his lap. Her legs straddled his spread thighs and she slipped her arms around his broad shoulders as he brought his beer back up to his lips and tipped his chin up to take a sip. “Ya know what I was thinkin’ ‘bout today,” he mentioned after swallowing down the bitter liquid, “that we should go on a proper date. Just me and you.”

“Oh, really?” Chloe said, his statement causing a rush in her chest. Her fingers lightly played in the short ends of his hair as her head eased to the side, Niall watching a few strands of her dark hair fall loose from her bun and slide down across her cheek.  

Her stare locked heavy with his and, once more, he found himself lost in her eyes. “Yup,” he concluded, quirking his brows, “gonna take ya out this weekend.”

“What about Fionn?”

“He’s gonna be with Rachel…”

“So, it’s a date then?” She tucked her lips into her mouth and Niall nodded his head with a low hum in agreement.

Chloe felt the heat of Niall’s big palm slide across the curve of her lower back just then, the feeling causing a ruffle of warmth to invade her body. Carding her fingers through the side of his hair above the shell of his ear, her eyes traced her movements as Chloe started to lightly chew at the inside corner of her mouth again. Niall wrinkled his brow as he watched her, knowing that there was definitely something on her mind.

“Ni, can I ask you something?” Ah, there it was.

Licking across his lips, he gave her a faint nod. “Sure, babe, anythin’...”

“I don’t know, I’ve been kinda thinking about it and I was just curious, but,” she paused, needing to take a second before she continued, “how come you didn’t try and fuck me that night?”

With his blue eyes slowly drifting over her soft features, Niall breathed out a low scoff, his face twisting up a little as he had no idea what she was referring to. “What? What night?”

Chloe scraped her teeth across her bottom lip as her fingertips came to a standstill. “That night,” she clarified, “at the cabin?”

“You mean, when ya were fuckin’ piss drunk?” he asked her, his blue eyes having gone wide at her insinuation.

Chloe dropped her stare to his chest and Niall sucked back a breath, his upper body leaning forward slightly as he set his beer down on the table. Reaching up, he gently brushed the loose hairs off her cheek and tucked them behind her ear, his fingers siding down the slope of her jaw before he placed both his hands on her hips. “Baby, are ya really askin’ me why I didn’t fuck ya when you were practically passed out on the bed?”

Her shoulders raised slightly in a shrug as her hands fell to lightly clasp around the sides of his neck. “Well, I mean, it’s just–…we were being so flirty that whole day and, I don’t know, I just thought…”

Niall’s head cocked back slightly as he peered at her through his hooded eyes. “I wouldn’t’ve done that to ya,” he mumbled. “Even if I wanted to sleep with you–which...I did–I wouldn’t’ve done that when you were drunk like that.”

Chloe felt the faint knead of his thumbs against her hip bones. “What if I hadn’t been drunk? Just hypothetically speaking, would you have...I don’t know, made a move on me that night?”

Her eyes danced across his, watching the lights of the TV screen flick over the glassy blue and a turned down smirk pulled across Niall’s mouth. “I don’t know, love,” he admitted, raising his brows a bit as he shook his head, “I mean, I wanted to, don’t get me wrong, but I wouldn’t have wanted to make ya feel uncomfortable or anythin’. Plus, I didn’t really know how you felt about me and...well, I fuckin’ wouldn’t have known how to approach ya anyway.” Niall chuckled under his breath. “At least not in a way that didn't make me look like a proper douchebag just tryin’ to get in your pants.”

Chloe’s head toppled back in a laugh, Niall not being able to help himself but smile as his stare settled on the gorgeous slope of her neck before she brought her eyes back down to this. “Sometimes you’re way too much of a gentleman, Ni,” she giggled, “sometimes...girls just want to be fucked.”

He breathed out a timid smile. “Well, would you have slept with me that night? If ya weren’t drunk?”

“Um, I would’ve fucked you even though I was drunk,” Chloe spit out, zero hesitation in her tone as she knitted her brows at him, “If you would’ve let me.”

Letting out a snort, Niall shook his head as he tipped his face down. Chloe could see the flush start to invade his cheeks, his pale skin blotching pink as he fought the big smile that was tugging at his lips. Using the pressure of her thumbs under his jaw, she slowly eased his chin back up, her stare locking solid with his. Niall licked across his lips as Chloe leaned in, her bum rolling slightly against Niall’s lap. “Ni,” she softly began, her parted mouth ghosting over his as she spoke between the softest of kisses, “you know I would’ve fucked you anytime you wanted me to. I will fuck you anytime you want me to…”

Niall’s eyes rolled back slighty as a groan rumbled up from his chest. Chloe smiled. “Is that so?” he teasingly asked her, trying to regain himself as his bearish grip tightened around her hips. Tucking her bottom lip into her mouth, Chloe nodded her head in quiet response. “Well, that’s good to know.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“For, um,” Niall swallowed hard as he felt her press down into him, “future reference.”

She giggled as she brushed the tip of her nose to his. “Well...how about right now?”

“What?”

Chloe’s dark eyes flicked over Niall’s, watching the black seep into the light blue as her hips subtly started to move against him. “I wanna fuck you right now,” she told him in a low whisper against his mouth.

“Here?” Niall barely choked out, his body stiffening under the slow glide of Chloe’s hips as his fingers dug deep into her sides. Chloe smiled at him, entertained by his candid naivety and she eased her tongue out of her mouth to run it across his lips. “But...Finny…” Niall managed to say before she circled her center down against him.

Niall swallowed hard, not wanting her to stop–good God–not ever wanting her to stop as he began to feel himself harshly reacting to every sensation she was giving him. “Finny is asleep,” Chloe softly breathed out, nipping kisses across Niall’s lips and jaw, “and all I wanna do is take care of his daddy.”

Her hands tangled up into the back of his hair, her hips moving in such slow deep grinds against him, Niall was sure he would climax in his pants at any second if she kept it up. “His big, handsome, sexy daddy…”

“Oh, fuckin’ Christ,” Niall moaned out, pinching his eyes closed as his large hands dragged across the faint curves of Chloe’s body. His chest was heaving and Chloe could feel the sweltering heat from his touch as he slipped his hands up under her shirt, roughly gripping onto her smooth skin.

She giggled as she brought her mouth back to his, her center pushing down onto him to feel just how swollen and thick he had grown for her in his pants. It was a reaction that she loved to entice from him any chance she got, physically feeling how much he wanted her, how much she turned him on. Inching back to glance at him, Niall eased his eyes open and saw the satisfied smirk that was sitting on her puffy lips as she just barely rubbed herself against him one last time.

Niall knew he was done for. “So, big boy, I take that as a yes?”

Chloe was certain she would have endless nerves for their date, an actual real date, but much to her surprise as the day drew closer, they were practically non-existent. She had spent so much time with Niall by that point, that it almost felt like any other day to her. Almost. She was to finish getting ready at Niall’s place as he dropped Fionn off at Rachel’s, and as she slipped on her mid-thigh length, off the shoulder dress, all Chloe could think about was getting her hands on him. It wasn’t that every other second of her time spent with Niall wasn’t special, it was, probably more than Chloe had anticipated a relationship to be, but those reckless and raw intimate moments with him, those moments where everything else in the world shut down and the only thing that mattered was seeing each other, feeling each other, pleasing each other, those were the moments that she yearned for. It was as if the memories of his greedy touch was burned into her flesh, his teasing kisses carved into her lips and the feel of his warm sweaty body fused onto hers, it was a hunger she couldn’t appease, a hunger she couldn’t satisfy; her taste for him was insatiable.  

She had never wanted a man more in her entire life than she wanted Niall Horan. And that was saying something.

They went to a late dinner and a movie, Chloe wanting to stop by a local dive bar and get a few drinks afterwards. A few turned into a few too many, both her and Niall finding themselves way past the tipsy mark where everything had become a bit hazy and obnoxiously giggly. With neither of them being able to drive in their state, they decided to take a nice walk through the city in hopes that the slight chill in the early morning air would sober them up a bit.

His arm was heavily slung over her shoulder, his fingers entangled with hers as Chloe snuggled her body up against his side, her attempt at stealing some of his warmth. Leaning in, Niall pecked a kiss just at her hairline. “I had fun tonight,” he mumbled against Chloe’s skin, mindlessly running a fingertip back and forth along the edge of one of her nails, “glad we did this. We needed to finally go on a real date.”

Chloe giggled and leaned her head back on his shoulder, turning her face towards his. “We did, and it was fun,” she replied, “I like going out with you.”

“I like goin’ out with you too,” Niall chuckled.

Chloe sighed lightly. “But you know what I could go for right now?”

Niall squeezed his fingers around hers as they kept their slow pace and he glanced at her with inquisitive eyes, never really sure what was going to come out of that mouth of hers. “What’s that, love?”

“Your perfect dick all up inside me.”

It was then that Niall’s feet halted to a stop, Chloe unknowingly letting her wobbly steps lead the way as she continued walking, only realizing Niall had stopped when his body peeled away from hers and his grip clumsily tugged her backwards. She spun around with a smile, her shoulders jittering in a tiny laugh as she locked her amourous eyes on his and innocently raised her brows. “What?”

Yanking her towards him, her body collided with his as he let go of her fingers and cupped his big hands around the sides of her face. Chloe’s deeply intoxicated stare peered up at him, her dimples poking into her cheeks from her wide smile as Niall’s eyes swarmed across her face. Her hands had slotted themselves inside his jacket and were sliding over the dips in his waist, Chloe anxiously biting at her bottom lip as she fought off her drunken giggles and watched the dark invade Niall’s gorgeous baby blues.

They stood there for what felt like a full minute before Niall pulled in a stuttering breath and swallowed hard. “Chlo, ya can’t be just sayin’ shit like that to me out of the blue...Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he whispered, his body pressing to the front of hers as she gently jerked him closer, “I’m drunk and horny and if ya don’t fuckin’ knock it off, I’m gonna have to fuck ya right here on the street in front of everyone.”

“Do it,” she challenged him, not a moment spared in her response. Chloe wasn’t kidding. She knew it and Niall knew it. But no way in hell was he going to actually fuck her on the side of the busy street, he wasn’t an animal. Even if it did cross his mind for a split second.

Niall shook his head in a chuckle and pushed his lips to hers. “You’re seriously gonna be the death of me, woman.”

His tongue slid deliciously into her mouth, Chloe savoring in the taste of him as she faintly whimpered into his kiss. Swinging herself around in a giggle as she pulled away, Chloe pressed her back to his front and grabbed at Niall’s arms, wrapping them around her middle as both of them began walking again. Niall leaned his face down into her neck, peppering her dewy skin with a row of tiny kisses that caused her eyes to softly flutter. “Well, Niall James, how ‘bout we go back to your place then,” she eventually spoke up, neither of them aware of what direction they were even headed in.

Niall popped his head up and quickly glanced around, his eyes squinting as he read a couple of the street signs. “Darlin’, looks like your place is closer…”

With her feet coming to a stop on the pavement, Chloe shot her stare up to look around at where they were, her cloudy alcohol-laced mind taking a bit longer than a moment to realize that he was right: they were very much closer to her apartment than his. Turning around to face him, she propped her forearms up on his shoulders and tipped her head to the side as she looked at him. All he was doing was just staring down at her with his heavy lidded eyes and his mouth turned down into that cocky smirk of his and it was making her belly fill with what felt like a kaleidoscope of butterflies. God, he was fucking gorgeous, and holy shit, did she want him. “My place it is,” she told him, her voice confident but no louder than a whisper, “but we gotta be quiet. I don’t wanna wake Liz.”

They are barely able to make it inside her place. Feet stumbling and loud intoxicated giggles filling the space; Niall knocked into a small bookshelf by accident as Chloe tore off her shoes and sent them flying across the living room floor. His hands were instantly groping at her waist, pinning her to the wall in the hallway as his lips smashed to hers. Their wavering bodies were on fire; eager fumbling fingers and hot slippery tongues, broken whines pushed up from Chloe’s throat as Niall pressed his body against hers, urging her to feel just how turned on he was. The rabid heat was pulsing all the way to the pores of her skin, her hands working to peel his jacket off his shoulders before she dropped it to the floor and tangled her fingers in his dark hair, kissing him harder.

Niall was manic, struggling to keep his lustful groans contained as Chloe rolled her lower half towards him, rubbing herself against his hardened length that was straining in the front of his pants. His large palms dragged up over her breasts, the thin silky material of her dress making it easy to feel every achingly beautiful part of her as he played and Chloe finally forced her mouth away from his. She gasped with needed air, her chest heaving under his voracious touch as she strained to keep silent, Niall’s greedy unrelenting mouth having attached to her neck.

“My bed,” she choked out in a breathy whisper, Niall lifting his head as she grabbed one of his hands and pulled him towards her room.

Chloe shut her door as Niall stepped past and before he could even attempt to grab her and bring his mouth to hers once more, Chloe was throwing herself face down onto her bed in a loud “humphf”. Niall tossed his fist up to his mouth to hold in his laugh as he peered down at her, watching her sigh and whimper as her wasted body spread out over her duvet. “I missed my bed,” she muttered, half of her face smooshed into the mattress as her dark wavy hair fanned out over her.

Climbing onto the bed and situating himself over top of her, Niall leaned on his elbows on either side of her chest, his hand coming over to slide her hair off the side of her face. He peered down at her, a smile spreading on his lips as she laid there with her eyes closed and tiny hums vibrating from her body. “Hey, love,” Niall whispered, leaning down to rest his mouth by her ear as he gave her the gentlest of kisses.

Chloe hummed out again in response, her brows slightly raising. Niall brushed the tip of his nose along her jaw. “Still want me to fuck ya?”

Dropping his hand to rest at her exposed thigh, he kneaded at her soft skin and Chloe slowly inched her legs apart at the feeling. “Yeah,” she mumbled, the word barely coherent as Niall felt her breathing start to subdue.

It was no more than another few seconds before Niall knew she had passed out, and he hung his head down in a low chuckle before he carefully rolled his body off hers and got up to get himself undressed.

Niall made sure to get Chloe out of her clothes and into her bed properly, chuckling in amusement when she snuggled up to her pillow just as he was nestling down under her covers next to her. He spent a good portion of the next hour just staring at her, watching the rise and fall of her chest that coincided with the soft puffs of breath that left her parted mouth and the tiny movements of her eyelids as she fell deeper into her sleep. He had never seen someone as stunning as her, never knew someone so funny, witty and brilliant and unpredictable, so strong yet so vulnerable. Chloe was absolutely perfect to him, everything about her, and he was counting his lucky stars that he was finally given a chance. That she was finally seeing him in the way that he had seen her for years.

Niall awoke to the feel of Chloe’s body shifting over his as he laid on his back, her bare legs spreading to straddle his hips. He blinked his eyes open as he felt her lean down, her small hands cupping around his stubbled jaw as she started to press kisses to his lips. “I passed out, didn’t I?” she mumbled, a sweetness in her tone that made Niall’s hands creep over her bent knees and run up the length of her body. He was quickly made aware that she had shed her undergarments and was completely naked on top of him.

His eyes peeled open just as Chloe inched her mouth away from his, the tip of her tongue barely sliding over her lips as she reached up to tuck some unruly hair behind her ear. Niall gave her a gentle smile, on that caused the tiniest hint of a dimple to crease under his left eye and she felt the warmth of his big hands splay at her waist as she bent down to kiss him one more time. “Mornin’, my love,” he finally said back to her, his voice laced with a heavy grogginess and the wicked sound made a heat pool fast between Chloe’s legs.

She whined out, rocking her hips forward to rub herself over him. Chloe could already feel him growing thick for her in his boxers, Niall hissing in low breaths as he throbbed against her and he dragged his hands up her curves to cradle around her head. “I really wanted to fuck you last night,” she said to him, darting her dark eyes over his, “I’m sorry, Ni.”

He shook his head and gave her a soft chuckle. “It’s fine, no need to be sorry, babe.”

Pushing her lips to his again, she kissed him even deeper, sucking at his tongue before Niall felt the slow glide of Chloe’s hand along the front of his body. Skimming over his warmed skin, her slender fingers shoved right down into the top hem of his boxers and wasted no time groping at him. A low groan cracked out from his throat as he felt the pads of her fingers wrap around his swollen length, his hips involuntarily rolling up towards her teasing touch. Before Niall could even shudder out a breath, she had him pulled all the way out of his boxers and fully inside her, her mouth swallowing the gravelly moans escaping from him.

He gripped at her waist, his thick fingers sinking into her flesh as she slipped her lips away and sat up on him. Chloe’s hands rested right at his heaving chest as she rode him; grinding down and rocking her hips against him as tiny soft whimpers pushed out of her bared throat. His stare locked in on her, Niall not being able to help but soak up the entire glorious sight of her on top of him. He watched as her perky breasts bounced with her movements before his eyes slid down to watch as his cock disappeared inside her, Chloe circling her hips and enticing him to bury even deeper. Niall watched as she fucked him, her body trembling and beading up with sweat, her skin melting between his fingertips as his grip became tighter and he glanced up, wanting to see the twist of pleasure in her face as her eyes pinched together. It was then that her full lips gently parted in a low needy moan with her head rolling back to her shoulders and Niall was a split second away from leaning up and pressing his greedy mouth to her exposed breasts when Chloe’s bedroom door swung open.

“Chloe, hey, I wanted–”

There was a sharp gasp, Chloe’s hands quickly scrambling behind her to pull the covers up over her naked body. “Liz, oh my God!” she burst out, staring over her shoulder with wide eyes at her best friend who was still standing clueless in her doorway. Niall fell frozen, his fingers digging into the sticky flesh of Chloe’s hips as she remained on top of him. The sheer intensity of being buried inside her, the vivid sensations of her warm swollen center faintly clenching around him but Niall not being able to move a single muscle in fear of getting caught, was making him feel as though he would internally combust at any given second.

“Oh, shit, sorry!” Liz giggled out, pretending to cover her eyes, “I–...wait, do you have a guy in here?” Chloe slapped a distressed palm to her dampened forehead to swipe away at some stuck strands of hair as Liz lowered her hand from her face and wrinkled her brows, curiously leaning to the side to try and peer around Chloe.

Her blue eyes squinted just slightly before Chloe saw them go wide with her quick realization. Liz sucked back a breath and shot her stare right back to Chloe. “Oh my God...Niall?” she squealed out.

[lokidiabolus]

Hey, Misha! Needless to say, I absolutely adore your writing 💓 I've always loved Childhood Friends!AU and I was wondering if you're keen on writing a prompt (or more prompts, it's not like I would be complaining haha!) about Newtmas as childhood friends? It would be so cool!

To be completely honest, childhood friends!AU is one of my favourite tropes ever. I had several ideas in my head for it, but this one occured to me y-day after p browsing internet, finding a picture of unrequired love kind of thing. I'll probably return to the childhood friends!au with different ideas, but I just had to get this one out ^^

Ao3 Version.

Newt was born in England, Brighton, but when hewas five, his family decided to move to America and settle down in a house witha white fence and a dog, living the American dream.  Newt hated it there – he hated how peoplespoke, he hated how they laughed, how they behaved, how nothing was like he wasused to. He missed his friends and their little house near the coast, the airand the beaches.

After a year he got used to his new life to adegree where he didn’t whine to his parents anymore, but secretly remainedbitter about people around him, until the first day of the first grade where hemet Thomas in his class.

Thomas was a kid of the same age; with bigbrown eyes and really adorable way of pronouncing “squirrel” (that was also whyNewt remembered him so well right the first day). He didn’t live too far fromNewt’s house, just few blocks actually, and he was the friendliest person Newtmet in America so far. They became friends very fast and 11 years later Newt consideredhim his best friend he could tell everything to.

Well, almost everything.

He started crushing on him when he was aboutfifteen, but if he really wanted to be honest, he probably somehow fell in lovewith Thomas’ adorableness right in the first grade and it stuck to him like aglue. He tried to get rid of the feeling at first, because hey, two guys andThomas being straighter than an arrow didn’t really offer anything but trouble,but he failed miserably, so he just decided to ignore the problem until it wouldeventually go away.

He was 17 now and it was still there. Newt wouldeven say worse than before, especially when Thomas started to date his highschool sweetheart Teresa and Newt had no idea what to do with himself. He wasstill the best friend, still the main person Thomas turned to and telleverything (sadly definitely everything)but how the creeping desperation inside of him progressed, Newt started to hatehimself with passion and the fear of not fulfilling the expectation of the TheBest FriendTM was eating him up alive.

“You’re awfully quiet today.”

Newt jolted and almost spilled his drink he wasabsentmindedly holding all this time, while sitting in Thomas’ bedroom,completely ignoring the TV that was playing. He didn’t even know why he cameover in the end, but it probably involved Teresa not being present. Spendingalone time with Thomas had been rather difficult lately, but Newt thought itwas better, since it would give him less chances to screw up.

“Sorry,” he put the glass with drink on thetable, wiping his hand to his trousers. “Just thinkin’.”

“’bout?” Thomas’ voice was full of curiosityand Newt sometimes thought he should work harder on pretending everything wasfine before Thomas would put one and one together.

“How lame your hair is today,” he shot back,glancing at his friend with a perfectly faked smirk, and Thomas sputtered.

“Noooo…”

“You look like an idiot,” he insisted, becausehey, Thomas really did look strange with the hair being all up and ready to runaway, judging from the weird angles it had. He kind of guessed it was Teresa’sinfluence or something, but it didn’t mean it looked good. Thomas groaned andslid down his bed and onto the floor like sack of potatoes.

“Fuck, I really hate it too,” he heard himsaying. “But I tried; therefore no one should criticize me.”

“Go wash it,” Newt nudged him and Thomascrawled away, whining all the way to the bathroom, and then some more frominside. He was dating Teresa for about four months now and Newt was alreadyspotting her touch on all kind of things – the hair, some clothes, even musictaste. All things were screaming no toNewt, but he couldn’t really say much about it, unless he wanted to upsetThomas marginally (unless it was really bad, like the hair today). They weremeeting up less too, gaming together felt like impossible task and all the freetime got usurped with deadly accuracy, as if on purpose. But Newt was braveenough to say it couldn’t be Teresa’s aim, because he was really trying hisbest to pretend, and nobody found out yet. Thomas even preferred her most ofthe time and Newt wasn’t the one to complain, it was usually other Thomas’friends who did.

Or was it because he wasn’t loud enough?Because he acted so reconciled with the fact Thomas was in love with somebodyelse?

No, he thought. Can’t be it. Would be weirder if I whined about it.

“Phew, that’s better,” Thomas emerged back fromthe bathroom, towel around his shoulders and his hair wetly plastered on hishead. “That’s for me believing what a girl is saying.”

“Feels bad, man,” Newt commented with a smile andThomas sat next to him on the floor with a sigh. The TV played some randomdrama and Thomas seemed too interested in it, which meant something wasbothering him but he tried to pretend everything was fine.

Newt tilted his head to the side and nudged himagain.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly and Thomasmade a face at the TV. Newt wasn’t sure if it the scene was that bad, since hebarely paid attention, or if it meant he didn’t want to talk about any problemthat could be occurring.

“Think I’m a shitty bf,” Thomas said with hiseyes still fixated on the screen. Newt stared back at him with no idea what thehell to say, until Thomas finally glanced towards him with embarrassedexpression.

“What,” Newt managed, his mind reeling. True,it was kind of strange Thomas wasn’t with Teresa as he always did, or at leaston the phone texting her, but he didn’t really think much of it until now. “Why?”

“Cuz she’s not happy,” Thomas answered withsurprising calm.

“Not happy?” Newt repeated incredulously. Whatelse she wanted from Thomas than what he was already giving her? They werebasically always together lately too. “She told you or something?”

“She didn’t need to,” Thomas shrugged, but itlooked rather weak. “She’s not happy cuz I’m not happy.”

Then break up withher, Newt greedyside wanted to say, but he forced himself to stop. Under no circumstances hewould say something like that, ever. Hewas going to support Thomas because he was his best friend, even though herepeated it in his head like mantra too many times so it would still be true.

“Did something happen between you?” he askedinstead, carefully, like walking over broken glass, and Thomas shook his head. “Youtalked about it with her?” Thomas nodded. “And?”

“I guess it’s kinda over?” Came a reply andNewt’s heart almost stopped. They broke up? Broke up for real?

Nonono, stop thinkingabout it!

“’m sorry to hear that, man,” Newt forced outas apologetically as he could and patted Thomas on his back. “Can I do anythingfor you to feel better?”

Because of course his stupid, greedy self wouldsay that. Like oh great, you broke up,let’s spend more time together again, so I can get my dose like a junkie beforeit’s too late!

“You being here is already doing a lot,” Thomassmiled at him gratefully and Newt kind of wanted to cry. This was not fair andyet it absolutely was, and in the end it changed nothing and it never would.Teresa might have been out of picture, but there were going to be other girls,other dates and relationships and Newt was stagnating on one spot, unable tomove forward, the best friend watching from side lines.

“Anytime, man,” he said anyway and when Thomasrested his head on Newt’s shoulder like a content overgrown cat, Newt waspretty sure he was soon going to burn in hell.

***

“Man, I’m so jelly of that guy.”

“Huh?” Newt raised his head from the notes whenWinston was staring into his phone like somebody sent him a death threat.

“I wanted to buy a ticket for today’s B-Clubperformance, but they are all sold out already,” Winston whined, uselesslyclicking on order while getting errormessages.

“That rubbish band?” Newt raised an eyebrow andWinston made a face at him.

“They may be rubbish, but it’s full of prettyladies, sue me,” he commented with pursed lips and Newt shook his head with achuckle. “And that bastard Thomas already have a ticket!”

“What?” that made Newt alert again, this timewith confused undertone. Thomas never listened to the band, quite frankly nevereven paid them much attention, despite the fact it was full of young girls, andsuddenly had a ticket for the show? Why?

“That chick Brenda got him one,” Winston letout a sigh. “Seriously. Lucky bastard, scoring a date and ogling at one night.”

A date?

Newt hated how his stomach clenched at that,like somebody was kicking him repeatedly. It had been two weeks since the break-upwith Teresa and Thomas fell back into his let’shang out every day routine with Newt. They usually had at least dinnertogether, either at Newt’s or Thomas’ home, and their parents were like: oh, glad to see you coming here again [name]!It was almost like they were kids once more, playing videogames or justtalking, even helping each other with assignments. Thomas never mentioned anyBrenda during the talks, and Newt was perfectly sure if there was a dating possibility,he would tell Newt as the first person. And Newt would smile and congratulatehim, as he always did, and the meetings would diminish, as they always did, andeverything would be the same once more.

But now he didn’t know about anything thatmight have even resemble Thomas wanting to date, and unless he met her justtoday and she immediately gave him a ticket for a rubbish show, it just fellout of the learned way of Thomas’ behaviour pattern.

He despised himself the moment he grabbed hisphone and sent Thomas a message about tonight’s dinner, because his masochisticside of wanting to suffer just couldn’t be repressed, apparently. Surely Thomaswould tell him about dating. Surely Winston just heard wrong?

Thomas – 14:21 – Sorrymy man, can’t tonight! Call it for tomorrow though, ayyy!

Newt sent something neutral back, he knew that,it was a well learned move, and then the rest of the day somehow passed as ablur.

***

“Chinese food.”

“Your favourite,” Thomas responded proudlywhile presenting the kitchen table full of white, neat boxes. The food in themsmelled fantastic and there was too much for just two of them, and Newt bit histongue in order to keep any questions about yesterday inside. Thomas waspractically glowing and he knew that kind of state – falling in love, beingobsessed, overdosed with endorphins. Newt had no bloody right to pry into it ifThomas didn’t want to tell him, and maybe it was easier with the blissedoblivion for a little longer.

“You’re too nice,” he said instead withpracticed smile, and no, he was happy for him, he was glad Thomas was in goodmood and in great place right now. He was still his best friend, and bestfriends were basically family. He was (bitterly) happy for him. “What’s theoccasion?”

“You looking like an advertisement for Twiggyfashion?” Thomas joked and pulled a chair away, gesturing for Newt to sit down.

Oh no, Newt thought. He’s going to drop something huge. He’s never this super nice without areason.

“Thomas,” he eyed him warily, but the brunetjust grinned and gestured towards the chair again, so Newt sat down and hopedfor the best. “You’re creeping me out now.”

“Oh no, this soon?” Thomas faked a shock andNewt wanted to groan. “What are you going to say after the candles and themarching band I ordered to play your favourite song?”

“I’d just rather die already,” Newt buried hisface in his hands and Thomas laughed in honest amusement and patted his back.

“Oh c’mon, Newtie, you know you love it anyway,”he had the nerve to wink at him and when he finally sat down on the other chairand handed Newt one of the boxes without pulling a bouquet of roses out of hisass, Newt could relax a little.

“So, I had been thinking,” Thomas started and Newtbraced for the inevitable as casually as he could. It was fine, a good friendordering his favourite food while telling him something insane, like thatwhoever Brenda had been was now pregnant and Thomas was dropping out of schoolto marry her to have a nice house at the beach, a golden retriever and a whitefence.

Good grief, I hopenot, for his own sake.

“I hope it didn’t hurt,” Newt piped withoutlooking at him when Thomas grew quiet. “You rarely use your brain, don’t strainit too much in one go.”

“Oi, I use it when it counts!” Thomas retortedback with a smile in his voice and Newt’s mouth curled up in a smile too,almost involuntarily. He kept his eyes on the food though, just to be sure.

“So?” he asked matter-of-factly and Thomassighed.

“Are you not going to look at me at all tonight?”

Newt blinked and glanced up, spotting Thomas’sour expression aimed at him.

“Huh?” he let out stupidly. “Uh, sorry. Lookingat you now.”

The sour expression stayed and Newt cleared histhroat and put the box back on the table.

“Sorry,” he repeated. “What’s yours I had been thinking thing then?”

“Eh, never mind, the mood is gone,” the brunetshrugged and reached for his food as well. “My bad.”

He didn’t elaborate even when Newt was glaringat him for a full minute after and then half of the first episode of Scrubs.

***

It came as no surprise when Thomas couldn’tcome for dinner the next day or the day after. It gave Newt the right message,and quite frankly he was a little glad he managed not to hear Thomas out theother day, because even when he could imagine what Thomas had to say, it wouldstill take too much effort to keep straight face during it. So he was nowcontent with the Schrodinger relationship that kept Thomas busy and justwallowed in his own self-pity for a change.

Was it going to be like this forever? Was hegoing to pin after him until he would be old and wrinkly and Thomas would havea wife, and kids and grandkids and occasionally invite Newt over for the good old-timesake while sporting his wife’s favoured brand of clothes and hairstyle?

Am I going to bebitter and alone forever because I just can’t give up?

He took his phone, his eyes fixated on Thomas’name in the chat log, and the last message was a lil busy this week, I will make it up to you.

“Make it up to me,” he read out loud, the lightfrom the phone almost blinding him in the dark room where he was hidden underthe covers.

Newt – 20:11 – Hey, Ireally miss you. Hewrote, then his fingers stopped and got back to the delete button, erasing thewhole message.

Newt – 20:15 – I loveyou since the first grade and can’t stop thinking about you. He wrote again, his fingerstrembling, and it hurt inside. He left the text shine on the screen for awhile, reading it over and over again, but it didn’t make it a lie, it didn’terase the truth in the words. He deleted it again until there was only ablinking cursor staring back at him, mockingly challenging him to writesomething that wouldn’t completely destroy the friendship he clung to almosthis whole life.

Newt – 20:30 – Hey! Anyplans for tonight? :)

He hit sent and tossed the phone next to him onthe mattress, leaving it bounce several times before landing screen down,muting the light. He knew what answer to expect and didn’t want to read itanytime soon.

The sleep claimed him almost immediately.

***

“Newtie, you’re getting old,” said Thomas’voice in his dream. It was warm and friendly and Newt imagined him sitting onhis bed, gently stroking his hair while smiling down at him.

“Am I?” he asked back, basking in the raremoment of calmness, free of bitter reality and his own wicked thoughts abouthis best friend.

“Falling asleep so early,” Thomas was stillsmiling and his hand was warm on Newt’s cheek, caressing it. “Is there somethingon your mind?”

“You,” Newt responded back and it was so easyand liberating to say it. “It has always been you.”

The caressing stopped for a fraction of second,but then Thomas was leaning down, tilting Newt’s chin up, and his lips were alittle dry, but Newt loved the kiss anyway. It was soft and gentle, like sailingon waves of serenity and when Thomas started to pull away, he boldly chased hislips, stealing one more kiss before letting go, swiping his tongue over Thomas’lower lip in satisfaction.

“I know it’s a little overdue, but,” Thomas’voice was lower now, huskier, and Newt goddamn loved this kind of dream. He lethis best friend, his unfulfilled love, to sit over him like a knight waking upa princess and it was ridiculous to think about it that way, but it fitted sowell Newt just had to chuckle at the thought.

“What?” There was evident confusion in Thomas’eyes, but Newt wished it away – not here, not now. Thomas, his dream Thomas,understood his thoughts.

“A knight and a sleeping beauty,” he said witha smile and Thomas barked out a laugh.

“Can’t say it doesn’t fit,” he agreed, and Newtfelt more clarity now, more noises came to him. He must have started to wake upand the thought made him sad.

“What I meant to say,” Thomas started talkingagain and Newt started to feel thirsty, like after a night in a hot room, and alittle stuffy. Didn’t he turn off the heating before going to sleep? Damn, itwas already ruining the dream like an apocalypse. “Was that I had beenthinking-,”

“Déjà vu,“ Newt mumbled and then it hit him.

He wasn’t sleeping. This wasn’t a dream. Thomaswas in his room, sitting on his bed, talking to him. Kissing him.

“And you never let me finish,” Thomas sighed,fully in flesh and here and Newtstarted to panic. The terror was setting in his bones like lead and pinned himto the bed with deadly accuracy of somebody, whose sentence was to die in thevery bed, by shame and mortification and so, so much bitterness.

“What are you doing here?” Newt croaked out,his eyes wide, and Thomas didn’t move an inch from his current bent downposition above him. The living nightmare was too cruel now, too merciless.

“You asked me what plans I have, I answered youand you didn’t reply,” Thomas responded with eerie calm for somebody who justgot kissed by his best friend out of the blue. “So I stopped by, auntie saidyou’re in your room and then I found you here sleeping.”

“Oh no,” Newt croaked. “Oh god no.”

“Then I kissed you, you were fine and now you’refreaking out,” Thomas ended the elaboration and added an eyeroll for a goodmeasure. Newt hoped the bed would open and swallow him whole.

“You were a dream!” Newt whined in defence, butunfortunately knew already it wasn’t the case. Thomas was here, and had beenhere when the apparent dream started, and Newt told him things he shouldn’thave, and the world might have ended today and it would be just perfect.

“Nope, not really,” Thomas assured him. “Wait,do you mean you’d kiss only dream me but not real me? Where’s the equality?”

“Thomas, please-,”

“Newt, I know you’re a smart guy,” Thomas didn’tlet him finish. “I know you are. But this is slow even for a snail running dry,just realize it already.”

Newt never felt so scared in his life, sofragile upon hoping in impossible, of Thomas being here, telling him he likedhim back in his own way, and no, it couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be happening.Not after all these years and-

“So I had been thinking,” Thomas started once more,and it was so familiar now, and he even stopped, looked at Newt expectantlylike he was challenging him to interrupt him once more, but Newt remained quietas a mouse, drinking Thomas in. “I had been thinking that we should date.”

Newt was happy the world didn’t end just yet.

[goldeanboy]

flashback; july 10th 1976

@leeveit

lee was doin’ oil paintin’ today. kind of a therapy—they were one of the first things she learned. or, rather, taught herself. long before school. her daddy bought them for her when she was ten years old. she thought her heart might burst she was so excited. 

 she’s full to burstin’ today, too, except it’s all ‘cause of dean. she’s happy for him, excited, but the thought of seein’ him off into a new life, the kind she dreams of every night... it’s a lot to handle. and obviously she left every rational thought behind in bed when she woke up this morning. now she’s got the wanton feelings she’s been pressin’ down ever since he told her he got signed. 

 she’s proud of him. more jealous than she wants to admit. and filled with a weird little happiness, all tangled up in the back of her spine, that she can’t get rid of. 

 she s’poses it ain’t the worst feelin’ she could have about all this. and she breaks into a giant grin when she sees him walkin’ down the sidewalk towards her. she hops off the porch and runs over, barefoot in the street, and wraps her arms around him. who cares if she’s covered in paint? “hey, how excited are you!! big city kid now, all fancy,” she beams up at him, the happy feelin’ expanding. “I’m gonna see you on tv real soon, aint I?”

dean hollis doesn't get nervous, it's never been his style. and no one could prove otherwise, because even if he did get nervous, no one would ever be able to tell. and on the off chance that he might've been slightly nervous walking up the holmes' driveway, even a vampire who could hear his heart in his chest wouldn't notice anything off about his heartbeat. until, of course, he looks up and catches lee as she flings herself at him. 

 she's grinning and it's terribly hard not to grin back, though it does sink his heart a bit. he's leaving and no one has any idea for how long, so why is she smiling? why is he smiling? 

 "yeah, alright," he laughs, wrapping one of his arms around her head, smothering her face into his shirt before releasing her. "so you're gonna watch me on tv then?" he teases, wiggling his eyebrows at her. "is it for the football or 'cause i'm a babe?"

lee’s known him long enough to know that look on his face. when he puts on a little extra dean hollis brand charm and confidence. it means he’s been thinkin’ too hard ‘bout how big a change this whole thing is. 

 but it’ll be good for him. she knows it. maybe... she could come visit. might make her jealousy even worse, though, and she doesn’t ever wanna ruin this friendship. nobody knows her like dean. 

 she rolls her eyes, blowin’ lose hair off her forehead. her ponytail never stays when she’s paintin’ especially not on her porch. “‘course I am!” she scoffs and playfully pushes his chest. she knows full well he won’t even budge. “the football, dummy. it’s common knowledge you’re a babe.”

dean flashed his award winning smile that no one in letum falls could understand how he still had after so many years of football. "so both, got it." 

"by the way," he pulled his varsity jacket out from behind his back. "i wanted to offer this to you. my dad made me offer it to susanna first, but she looked at me like i just asked her if she wanted to wrestle a pig in the mud so-"

“obviously, both,” she said, leanin’ back against the rickety wood at the end of the stairs. she slid her hands into the big pockets of her paintin’ overalls and stared up at him with a softer smile. she was gonna miss him. 

 he suddenly sprung his varsity jacket on her and her mouth dropped open. “you can’t give this to me!” she protested, but she was already taking it out of his hand. “are you sure you don’t wanna take it with you? i mean, i know you’re finally gettin’ outta here, but... this is special.”

"yeah i can," he chuckled as she took it. "nah, i don't wanna lose it and they're probably gonna give me a new one anyway. i mean if you don't want it i can give it to candace or annmarie, but they'll most definitely destroy it..."

“no!” she said, a little too quickly, coverin’ with a big smile and holdin’ the big jacket into her chest. “can’t have this gettin’ used and discarded, can we? i’ll take care of it for ya.” 

 besides... she wanted it. a little piece of him to remember every day when she saw it hangin’ on the back of her door. or when she could wear and pretend they were hangin’ out like old times. “i’m really proud of you, dean. no punchline. i’m gonna miss you, and i’m jealous as hell, but i’m so happy you’re gettin’ outta here.”

"good, i 'ppreciate it." his grin softened slightly as she spoke. he put an arm out on either side of her, leaning his against the railing. "don't you worry your pretty little head, i'll be back... and my offer to join me still stands," he hummed, knowing full well that she wouldn't leave bez, not anymore. he'd take them both if he could

“‘course,” she said, genuine. it wasn’t often somebody could get a response outta lee that wasn’t sarcastic or plain rude... but dean was different. they know each other better’n that. 

“oh, please. worry ‘bout you? you can handle yourself, QB,” she teased. but she had to just shrug and pretend she didn’t think about going every day, every second she was with him. “nah, i’m happy here. what more could a girl need?”

"wow, that was almost a convincing lie," he snorted. he was supposed to be on the road in twenty minutes but he couldn't leave with this unresolved issue hanging over his head. his eyes bounced back and forth between hers. this was proving to be much harder than he'd anticipated.

"you know, i don't hafta go if you want- need me to stay..."

she sighed, shakin’ her head. “the more i say it, the more true it’ll be, right?” she tried for a bright-side outlook. didn’t usually work. but she smiled despite herself when he offered to stay. 

“you can’t stay for me. or anybody. you’re not givin’ this up.”

dean shrugged, knowing no matter how many times she tried to convince herself she was happy, it would never happen here. but he didn't have the heart to confirm that. he lowered his head so his eyes were level with hers. 

"you're not anybody. i'll stay if you want me too."

she shook her head, only lookin’ at him for a second before castin’ her eyes down. she had her chance. it wasn’t meant to be. she was stuck here for now.

 she pursed her lips and met his gaze defiantly. “you’re goin’. don’t make me run you outta town myself.”

he was wasting time. he knew he had to get moving. “so there’s no reason you’d maybe want me to stay then? like i don’t know... feelings or something?”

she raised a brow, startin' to feel like he was lookin' for a reason not to go. wasn't like dean to be scared. couldn't be, this was a huge opportunity. a dream. feelings? "i-" she closed her mouth again, suddenly gettin' serious. "say what you're tryin' to say, dean."

he knew that he wasn't going to be able to dance around it, that she'd see right through him. and she did. 

 "straight to the point. right." 

 his mouth opened and his watch started to beep. he groaned, looking down at the ground before pressing the button to get it to stop. if he was going, he had to go now. 

"hard as it is to believe hadley, there's something more important to me than football and i'll ditch all that-" he shook his hand in the direction of his car, "for it."

her lips twisted as her mind raced, more with every word. his watch went off and she only felt more rushed, more like somethin’ was... ‘bout to happen. ‘bout to go wrong. “and...  what’s it?”

he leaned a bit closer to her. "i think you already know the answer to that." he didn't have time for his own shit. he didn't need to be smooth, he needed to spit it out.

lee started to harden, jaw tightened. she was mad at him. why was he tryin’ so hard to stay? why now? “I told you to be straight with me, so get it over with. what’s so important you’d throw away everythin’ and stay in this godforsaken town, huh?”

 she was afraid of the answer. it was conceited to think it might be you, wasn’t it?

why was she getting mad? he was the one who would be throwing his career away. but he kept his cool, like always. "well let's see, i'm asking you about your feelings and if you need me to stay so i think it's safe to assume it's you. jeez, why did they give you the last name holmes when you're clearly not a very good detective."

lee started to work her jaw. she shouldn’t be offended by what is basically a confession of love. is that what this is? he loves her? she raised a hand and put it back, not quite sure what to do with herself.

“well, that’s-“ she pushed his arm away and stalked off a few steps. what was she s’posed to say? “that’s not fair. it can’t be my fault you stay. you’re bein’ stupid! you’re just lookin’ for a reason to stay here ‘cause... I dunno! are you scared? what is it really?”

this was going almost as badly as dean had thought it would. "jesus lee, why can't it be that? what is so hard to believe?" he was raising his voice and he hated doing it, especially negatively. he took a breath and lowered his voice. 

"i'm not lookin' for excuses to stay, i have plenty of those that would have been much easier than this-" he gestured at her. "but those aren't worth it." he ran a hand threw his hair. "you're really gonna make me fuckin' say it aren't you? i love you, okay? i love you and i'll stay here with absolutely no remorse if you want me to."

she stared at him incredulously, shakin' her head. why was he doin' this now? no matter how he was feelin' in the moment or whatever bullshit he was tellin' himself, this wasn't fair. how'd he expect her to respond? "it's hard to believe 'cause you're my best friend and i can't understand why the hell you'd throw everything away for- for me! whadda i got that you can't find anywhere in the world?" 

 "don't say it- hey! stop sayin' it!" she wanted to curse herself out or maybe even cry, but she swallowed it all down and steeled herself. tell him to go, lee. right thing to do. tell him to go. "you can't make me do that. that is not fair, dean. just... get in the goddamn car and go make somethin' of yourself." if he still thinks he loves after seein' all the world has to offer, then... he'll be crazy, but... he can come find her then. after he's had a chance to get outta dodge.

"i'm not makin' you do anything!" he rubbed his forehead, his frustration growing by the second. "do you understand what happens if i go?! do ya?! if i go, i'm goin'. i don't know when i'll be back- if i'll be back, how long they're going to sign me for! it could be years, lee. if you're okay with that then-" he shook his head and held his arms out in surrender, "then i'll go."

lee clenched her jaw tight and let him get it all out. this was not how she’d expected this goodbye to go. she’d wanted to give him a big ole hug and wave him down the street. but this...? was mean. 

 she felt betrayed. how could she put it on her whether he turned his life around or not? but she kept her voice level. “i get it, dean. it’s like startin’ a new life. and you deserve it, ‘cause you’re good, and not just at football, and you worked hard for this so, yeah... i’m okay with you goin’.”

dean wasn’t sure what he expected. but even though he assumed she’d tell him to go, he’d thought the confession of love might at least be mutual. his watch started beeping again. he pressed it again, this time turning the alarm off permanently. “so that’s it? fine. whatever you want lee.” 

he wasn’t sure what to do at this point. she didn’t seem to see him as more than a friend so he definitely wouldn’t be kissing her. was he supposed to hug her even after this conversation? he lingered a few seconds to make sure she had nothing else to say or do before he spoke. “guess i’m leavin’ then.”

lee was gripping her hands like an old lady, channeling all the stress of this moment into her fingers. she shook her head, trying not to scoff. this wasn’t what she wanted. why’d he have to do this now, when he was leavin’? lee’d gone all these years thinkin’ he was her best friend, but he was in love with her? and he waited to tell her ‘til he was gonna leave for who knows how long? it wasn’t about her. it wasn’t her choice. if it was, she’d be boltin’ no matter how she felt. 

this was too big of a chance to waste. even if she loved him too. but she couldn’t tell in five minutes when he sprung it on her like that! so she didn’t have a choice. and now he’d prob’ly never talk to her again. 

 “good luck,” she said after a moment. “you’re gonna be great.”

she didn't move and he took that as a cue to leave. "yeah.... that's what they keep telling me so i guess it's gotta be true," he mumbled as he backed toward the car. he opened the door to his car and got in. he looked at her one more time as he closed the door. the engine had been running this whole time and he'd forgotten. "bye."