#she was also fcking done on her part

[iamhereinthebg]

Gonna share badly translated panels from the official french translation because I can

I can’t verbally explain how much Akane ROASTED Aoi in chap 69 . He really took the ‘I am gonna end this woman’s whole career” to a next level

:))))

--> to explain the ‘you’re pretending you don’t know’

[felixora]

"Anders as Spirit of Freedom" DA concept

Original idea

A DISCLAIMER

Every one of you who'll bear with me and read this till the end — I love you, you're precious to me, thank you.

And this is NOT canon, simply my fan work.

(Also there's more new art in this post)

Now back to the topic

This idea was born from:

a question "If a spirit can become mortal, can a mortal become a spirit?"

and another concept that "connection to the Fade is like a bridge with a door that everyone has, but only mages can open" Ordinary people cannot open the door. Mages can open said door and enter the Fade. Ordinary tranquility puts a wall instead of a door (which can be reversed) And tranquility from Red Templars breaks the fcking bridge all together.

We all know that Anders escapes Kirkwall (if he's alive) and for some time travels with mages before leaving them due to animosity. Well, in this concept he goes on the run, hiding from the Seekers, templars, anyone who wants him dead.

This goes for a couple of years. The Breach happens, Ancient Magister comes and falls, Inquisition triumphs. And Anders is still on the run. Until one day his luck runs off. He was hiding in a small mountain village, when a squad of Red Templars came by, trying to force villagers to work in lyrium mines.

Some men tried to fight back and chaos ensued, during which Anders considered running away once again. But, as he was stealthily leaving the village, Anders noticed a group of villagers trying to run away, while being pursued by Templars.

Impulsively, Anders made an effort to divert attention from the running villagers, but as a result, he was captured himself. A few of the Templars were from Kirkwall, and they recognized Anders from that fateful day in the city.

Instead of killing the mage they decided to punish him in a different way – by making him tranquil and leaving him by their side in servitude. And neither Anders nor Justice could do anything against it at the time. And so, Anders was completely cut off from the emotional side of the world and Justice became trapped inside him.

While all of that was going on – someone was also looking for Anders.

An ancient elven being, Libera, the last Spirit of Freedom (though bound to mortality and broken by Ghilan'nain) woke up from her slumber thanks to a happy coincidence that was the Kirkwall appraising — Anders' scream for liberation.

And she searched for the one who screamed in this new world, on her travels recruiting mage students to pass on her teachings and involve them in her goals of freeing her own people. Until a long year after Anders was captured, she finally found him.

After dealing with all the Red Templars, she and her students approached the few Tranquil mages, and Libera knew it was Anders when she saw him. She called out to Justice, who were woke up to her presence, and asked if they want to make things right for Anders – to do him justice

And the spirit agreed. Libera took the spirit from Anders and broke it into pure energy that she then used to rebuild Anders’ connection to the Fade. And just as that, Anders returned to himself and Justice was no more.

However, nothing was well and done. When Anders came to his senses in the camp of his saviours, he was distraught by the loss of his friend, especially when he learned that it was to save his life.

Memories of yearlong torment by Templars were flowing into his head, making him relive it now with full understanding of what had happened. Not to mention the overwhelming guilt over events in Kirkwall and mage uprising that he now felt full force without Justice.

And through it all, Libera was by his side, helping him to slowly get back on his feet and fight the pain of the past years.

She had her own motives, of course. Now Anders carried spiritual energy, making him part spirit with a possibility of more. A perfect vessel to be moulded into a Spirit of Freedom. But for that, the mage needed to let go of the pain and willingly step on this spiritual path.

So, Libera took Anders in as her student, helping him to deal with his trauma and guilt, while teaching him and others magic. She showed him how to reverse tranquility with his affinity to spirit magic, how to traverse the Fade as a spirit and inspire desire for freedom in others

While Libera helped Anders to make him a full-fledged spirit, others (like Varrick, Fenris, other students in Libera’s circle) helped him find purpose and will to live as a mortal. To make him remember all the good he brought in the lives of so many, not just pain and suffering.

.

.

. Anyone who will call me out on putting Anders through more trauma and literal hell — is absolutely right, and I have no objections. Still love him though.

[ultimategenshintournament]

Ultimate Genshin Tournament: Finals

Propaganda below cut

Arlecchino:

Hot Evil Woman.

#the duality of arlecchino is so well done #Also her design is insanely attractive (via @rinrinlovee)

#women driven by their own agenda #implied to be fucking insane #people were disappointed she didn't actually kill the kids in her story but listen #that would make her no better than dottore #she's a bad bitch she refuses to run the house on anyone’s terms but her own #i love morally grey characters guys #arle has mystery and intrigue there is no telling what her next move might be #and she has her fair share of tragic yuri #the fact that she is harsh #that there is inherent immorality in her character since she trains orphans to be child soldiers #but the fact that she still cares deeply for her charges #and arle thinks the doctor is despicable and refuses to make deals with him #except one that allowed her to set the children free to take their own path #like i cannot emphasize enough how much depth is in her character #freminet reports that she doesnt like when the children cry #but she still brought him back an emblem of his mother #and told him the truth about why he is in the House #in fact she's deeply appalled when she finds out he's been lied to and told his mother no longer wanted him #she is incredibly perceptive and forward thinking #and fine ill say it shes hot #and she's ridiculously powerful #in her boss fight we dont even kill her. we don't even come close #she was just entertaining us as a test #also i really enjoy a character who can suffer such tragedy and carry it with her in her life #but then is afforded the agency to make it better for herself and everyone who comes after #no child will die for wanting to choose their future #wanderer saying that those who have seen through her cordial facade have disappeared #like how can you NOT be interested in her #i want to know desperately what her grand plan is #i think we as a fanbase moved on way too quickly from the fact that teenage arlecchino #KILLED A FUCKING HARBINGER #also the question of where is arle actually from still remains #what exactly *is* she? (via @stormyrainyday)

Furina:

girl deserves therapy and hugs and the best life in the WORLD because she went through a lot!!!! wouldn't pretending to be a god for 500 years with no support mess you up? and yet she still kept on going for her people!! she wanted to save her nation from a doomsday prophecy and she DID

After act 5 she deserves the world :(

“If all the people of Fontaine are on one side, and I am on the other…is it not obvious where the scales of suffering should tilt?” NO IT ISNT YOU’RE JUST ABNORMALLY SELFLESS AND INCREDIBLE AND PERSISTENT. Even the Archons praise Furina’s name and say she is a human with strength and capability worthy of an Archon. That’s not even to speak of Focalors. She snapped at Arlecchino when she implied that Furina had done nothing to preserve her people from the flood. Meanwhile every minute she was working to prevent the prophecy. A month after we took her to court and almost got her killed she agreed to help us direct a play, a favor for a favor

Guys, she deserves to win. She endured 500 years of torment and suffering. No hope in sight, just the knowledge that a trial, any trial, might signal the start of her life as herself. She sacrificed herself again and again: her reputation before the people of Fontaine, her happiness during the 500 years of her rule, and her very own divinity. Her trailer is literally just her worst nightmare coming to life. She is finding the joy in life again, slowly. Let’s be a part of that joy. Vote Furina!!!! 

Your honor, they're married and Arlecchino would want her wife to win.

HAVE YOU SEEN HER? SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL OH MY GOSH AND HER VOICEEEEE MY QUEEN MY GODDESS MY EVERYTHING WE NEED TO HAVE HER WIN THIS SHE IS SO PRETTY

she literally gave up her entire sense of self and sacrificed everything just to save Fontaine… all without ever knowing that she was the human side of the archon. She did everything because of her own sense of justice, because of her love for the people, because even she had to do her all for a chance for them to live on. Furina is the perfect example of what a leader should be, while also being so so very fragile and just…so very human. needless to say, Furina is perfect through being imperfect. So she absolutely deserves this win FURINA SWEEP REAL!!!

she managed to fool an entire nation and even the hydro dragon for 500 years. She literally put up the greatest act in all of history. All for one singular goal. The survival of Fontaine. And what did she give? Everything. Her soul. Her life. She is the epitome of the most amazing character design. And so she absolutely deserves this win!!

she literally was almost assassinated by the one she is up against right now. She literally almost was killed by arle. Literally WHY would you let arle win over our beloved queen Furina? Furina is a victim who is suffering trauma from her. She deserves the win more than arle! Payback for arle traumatizing sweet, innocent Furina…!!!!!

(image via @deityofhearts)

[mrspark7777777]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrspark7777777/730435580873342976/httpstwittercomdailyjmthvstatus1709569065394?source=share

really anon??

i'm sorry but as an army and a fearnot, pls shut the actual fck up

they're under the same label (hybe)

he commented laughing under a tiktok of her viral moment (https://x.com/elsserafim/status/1692180175516291286?s=20) where she messed up her speaking part during their song 'fire in the belly', MANY other idols have made fun of it or referenced it, in fact most of south korea has as well, it's a meme at this point, which we know jk loves to make fun and reference things (jimin, g dragon, namjoon, basically all of bts lol, k dramas, ect)

he's a fan of music in general and likes gg songs. also boy is basically a tokki (new jeans fan) and would not surprise me if he was a fearnot (le sserafim fan), he played fearless (their debut single) in his camping vlog, he was asked to sing antifragile many times (including by namjoon, who also seems to be a fan of them)

bts as a whole have been nice and supportive of their juniors (as they did not really have seniors in the company or industry to do that for them), namjoon, hobi, tae, jimin, and jk have all either done a dance or sang a song from new jeans and/or le sserafim

le sserafim is filled with ARMY, most if not all of them have mentioned bts as someone to look up to/that they like, kazuha is fan of jimin and inspired by him as she is a former ballet dancer, yunjin was literally on army twt (https://x.com/saxophonist95/status/1651896094442373120?s=20), doing army selca day and very much a tae bias, they (like the rest of hybe lol) did the 'run bts' dance challenge, did tiktoks with hobi, jimin, and yoongi, one of my favorite interactions was when sakura and kazuha were asking jimin if he'd do a tiktok with them for 'unforgiven' (where he was the sweetest shy baby 🥺, giving older brother/grandpa energy 😭), yunjin and chaewon even sang part of 3D recently on a wv live (the "body to body" part) (https://x.com/Jungkook_SNS/status/1708553475356029022?s=20)

he commented under JIM BEAM's ACCOUNT, not le sserafim's or chaewon's personal account (like instagram or wv) about the SUGAR CONTENT OF THE DRINK, a question to the DRINK COMPANY. chaewon is just a new model for their highball drink ad, which we know jk likes to drink, including during his recent wv live and on suchwita, he's been dieting to the point he's not eating all day, drinking on an empty stomach, and getting fcking ivs for energy, all while he can't sleep (this boy worries me 😞😞)

gg stans love to fcking over exaggerate things, making jk out to be a pervert and p*do (even when chaewon is 23) bc of the bs people have been spreading about him towards women, to the point k antis are trying to get 3D (even the clean version) age restricted on k charts and get his 3D performance canceled

most of the people being weird about jk were not even fearnots (a lot of army also stan or casually like le sserafim), but unfortunately part of the fandom are also blinks, exols, or other kpop groups stans who don't really care about bts/jk and will do or say ANYTHING to make him look bad bc they're bts antis

jk literally said he does not have a girlfriend or feel the need for one, stop implying he's lying bc you're being weird or insecure about him interacting with something where a woman is present

let opposite sex idols be fcking friends, anytime male and female idols interact y'all make sh*t weird, most if not all of bts have female friends but for some reason (heteronormativity and homophobia) y'all can never be normal and just let them be friends. it happens all the time, especially with namjoon and jk. joon is nice to megan the stallion > he wants to fck her and y'all make him have a fetish with black women/people (people do this with jimin too...), joon is nice to halsey > he wants to fck her/is flirting, joon hangs out with so yoon (the girl he did smoke sprite with) > they're dating (even if there is a very likely chance she's gay/queer), joon attends somi's listening party (like jitb for hobi) > they're dating or he's trying to fck her

it's gets even weirder with jk bc since he was a MINOR people have been sexualizing him, he's thrown into the most bs dating rumors bc he sat near or looked at a woman (hell he doesn't even need to interact with them and psychos connect random sh*t as "proof"), plus i've seen/heard jk say/do things 1,000 times more sus with jimin, but y'all are going to look past that bc it's a woman jk's interacting with... most people (including me lol) don't think mingyu and jk are dating (outside of the jokes the fandom loves to make about anyone jk interacts with, except jimin) when they're out here hanging out together, getting drunk and looking at eo starry eyed while giggling on wv live, wearing matching outfits, jk was liking a shirtless tiktok of mingyu, they were in busan together, jk using mingyu's wv account to comment on one of their other friends' wv live, and many other things that were more sus. also that one time jk slapped his idol friend's butt at an award show and a fan (of that idol) started accusing jk of sa and bh had to sue

also tiktok algorithm is a thing, we know jk follows all hybe groups (including le sserafim), he likes memes and funny videos, he likes alcohol (especially highball), so it's not that far off to say that it might just have showed up on his feed (like i'll call out a solo on twt/x and suddenly my 'for you' section is filled with fcking pjms or jjks 😞, and i then have to spend a couple minutes blocking and clearing my tl), and not necessarily him looking it up bc he wants to fck her or is an obsessed fan (saw some chaewon solos and fearnots (including some big fan accounts 😐) say he's chaewon biased which might have led to kpop stans losing their sh*t)

also i found out chaewon fans (gg stans in general) have a tendency to be overprotective (some guy gave her a rose as part of a scripted thing on a variety show (i think??) which chaewon knew about and agreed to do and they (fans) lost it and threatened the guy to the point he came out and said he's no longer going to interact with female idols), and sometimes i get it bc south korea isn't the best place for women and even less in the idol industry (especially with the amount of grown ass male stans of ggs), like even when le sserafim on this variety show where one of the hosts has a reputation of messing with young female japanese idols (member of twice i think?) and he was making weird comments towards kazuha (she was 19 and is japanese) and every corner of kpop stan twt (including army) were upset and protecting her

pls let just jk interact with people (especially women 😞) without assuming he's fcking them, go outside and make friends (even of the opposite sex), and deal with your sex deprived bs elsewhere anon!

if y'all (kpop stans/weirdos) ruin my sseratan interactions istg....

i need eunchae and jk to interact badly bc that basically his daughter/twin (https://x.com/vyunmiin/status/1609513373414326272?s=20) (https://x.com/jjksamore/status/1610615833754992641?s=20), also i need to see yunjin around her bias (tae 🥺😭)

Damn. Anon came prepared. I don't think I need to add anything else. Anon, please accept this heart. Good job

[narcopharmacist]

Short Dramione fic review (and some spoilers too)

I just read another dark Dramione fic, entitled Uncoffined by lady_of_clunn. Published back in 2012, lord have mercy.

I found it on reddit, and I decided to read it because the commenter stated that this was the supposed inspiration for the famous Manacled.

It was a short read thank gods, with only 13 chapters, but it was quite heavy on the chest. I now saw the circumstances and its similarities with Manacled. The writing style was also quite similar, and Draco's title of High Reeve was fcking there, oh my god. 😮😮

I praise the lordts that Manacled portrayed Dramione as having this monogamous relationship. This, Uncoffined, fcked me up, because Hermione was fcking shared , my brothers and sisters in christ. 💀🤢 It was just one time, but goddamn! Worse, Draco willingly decided to do so, also because he was drunk. And who was this other guy? It was Blaise. The only redeeming (redeeming? More like acceptable?) part I guess was that only Draco was inside; Blaise got the mouth only. Fcking hell. I read the tags of it having a 3sum, but when I read the there were these 2 guys doing a girl in the first chapter (which did not involve Draco nor Hermione), I thought that was the 3sum we were going to get. I did not expect the 3sum to actually involve our MCs. 😭😩🫠

So in here Draco was the one who got caught and was imprisoned in Azkaban. However, Hermione got intel about the raids etc (like in Manacled) indirectly. She listened to the convo of the Death Eaters whilst having dinner, and she wrote them down. Although she "wh0red" herself, and had a contract, it wasn't to gather intel, rather it was done because Draco thought she really was one, and he didn't know she was Hermione because she so-called glamoured herself and named herself Jeanne. He wanted to be, and did become, her only "client" through that.

It was angsty, yes, of course, with the tag. But the HEA tag I did not see. I'm glad it was HEA though.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

https://www.tumblr.com/serendipitous-sky/730531249357275136/do-you-think-jks-comment-about-asking-how-much?source=share

couple things as i'm an army and a fearnot

they're under the same label (hybe)

viral moment

he commented laughing under a tiktok where she messed up her speaking part during their song 'fire in the belly' (https://x.com/elsserafim/status/1692180175516291286?s=20), MANY other idols have made fun of it or referenced it, in fact most of south korea has as well, it's a meme at this point, which we know jk loves to make fun and reference things (jimin, g dragon, namjoon, basically all of bts lol, k dramas, ect)

he's a fan of music in general and likes gg songs

boy is basically a tokki (new jeans fan) and would not surprise me if he was a fearnot (le sserafim fan), he played fearless (their debut single) in his camping vlog, he was asked to sing antifragile many times (including by namjoon, who also seems to be a fan of them)

bts as a whole have been nice and supportive of their juniors

they did not really have seniors in the company or industry to do that for them, namjoon, hobi, tae, jimin, and jk have all either done a dance or sang a song from new jeans and/or le sserafim

le sserafim is filled with ARMY

most if not all of them have mentioned bts as someone to look up to/that they like, kazuha is fan of jimin and inspired by him as she is a former ballet dancer, yunjin was literally on army twt (https://x.com/saxophonist95/status/1651896094442373120?s=20), doing army selca day and very much a tae bias, they (like the rest of hybe lol) did the 'run bts' dance challenge, did tiktoks with hobi, jimin, and yoongi, one of my favorite interactions was when sakura and kazuha were asking jimin if he'd do a tiktok with them for 'unforgiven' (where he was the sweetest shy baby 🥺, giving older brother/grandpa energy 😭), yunjin and chaewon even sang part of 3D recently on a wv live (the "body to body" part) (https://x.com/Jungkook_SNS/status/1708553475356029022?s=20)

he commented under JIM BEAM's ACCOUNT

not le sserafim's or chaewon's personal account (like instagram or wv) about the SUGAR CONTENT OF THE DRINK, a question to the DRINK COMPANY. chaewon is just a new model for their highball drink ad, which we know jk likes to drink, including during his recent wv live and on suchwita, also he's been dieting to the point he's not eating all day, drinking on an empty stomach, and getting fcking ivs for energy, all while he can't sleep (this boy worries me 😞😞)

and the account responded

(https://x.com/firstsight_jk/status/1710551942827786439?s=20)

gg stans love to fcking over exaggerate things

making jk out to be a pervert and p*do (even when chaewon is 23) bc of the bs people have been spreading about him towards women, to the point k antis are trying to get 3D (even the clean version) age restricted on k charts and get his 3D performance canceled

most of the people being weird about jk were not even fearnots (a lot of army also stan or casually like le sserafim), but unfortunately part of the fandom are also blinks, exols, or other kpop groups' stans who don't really care about bts/jk and will do or say ANYTHING to make him look bad bc they're bts antis

jk literally said he does not have a girlfriend or feel the need for one

stop implying he's lying bc you're being weird or insecure about him interacting with something where a woman is present

let opposite sex idols be fcking friends

anytime male and female idols interact y'all make sh*t weird, most if not all of bts have female friends but for some reason (heteronormativity and homophobia) y'all can never be normal and just let them be friends.

it happens all the time, especially with namjoon and jk.

joon is nice to megan the stallion > he wants to fck her and y'all make him have a fetish with black women/people (people do this with jimin too...), joon is nice to halsey > he wants to fck her/is flirting, joon hangs out with so yoon (the girl he did smoke sprite with) > they're dating (even if there is a very likely chance she's gay/queer), joon attends somi's listening party (like jitb for hobi) > they're dating or he's trying to fck her

it's gets even weirder with jk

bc since he was a MINOR people have been sexualizing him, he's thrown into the most bs dating rumors bc he sat near or looked at a woman (hell he doesn't even need to interact with them and psychos connect random sh*t as "proof"), plus i've seen/heard jk say/do things 1,000 times more sus with jimin, but y'all are going to look past that bc it's a woman jk's interacting with...

most people (including me lol) don't think mingyu and jk are dating (outside of the jokes the fandom loves to make about anyone jk interacts with, except jimin) when they're out here hanging out together, getting drunk and looking at eo starry eyed while giggling on wv live, wearing matching outfits, jk was liking a shirtless tiktok of mingyu, they were in busan together, jk using mingyu's wv account to comment on one of their other friends' wv live, and many other things that were more sus that commenting on TWO tiktoks.

also that one time jk slapped his idol friend's butt at an award show and a fan (of that idol) started accusing jk of sa and bh had to sue

tiktok algorithm is a thing

we know jk follows all hybe groups (including le sserafim), he likes memes and funny videos, he likes alcohol (especially highball), so it's not that far off to say that it might just have showed up on his feed, and not necessarily him looking it up bc he wants to fck her or is an obsessed fan (saw some chaewon solos and weird fearnots (including some big fan accounts 😐) say he's "chaewon biased" which might have led to kpop stans losing their sh*t)

chaewon fans (gg stans in general) are overprotective

some guy gave her a flower as part of a scripted thing on a award show, which chaewon knew about and agreed to do and they (fans) lost it and threatened the guy to the point he came out and said he's no longer going to interact with female idols.

sometimes i get it bc south korea isn't the best place for women and even less in the idol industry (especially with the amount of grown ass male stans of ggs), like even when le sserafim were on this variety show where one of the hosts has a reputation of messing with young female japanese idols (a member of twice i think?) and he was making weird comments towards kazuha (she was 19 and is japanese) and every corner of kpop stan twt (including army) were upset and protecting her

pls let just jk interact with people (especially women 😞) without assuming he's fcking them, go outside and make friends!

Anon.

Well, what I said in my other 2 posts about this still stands especially after seeing this whole ask defending Jk when I haven't accused him of "fucking" Chaewon or any of the things you wrote about.

Go read what I wrote.

Sounds like the ones who should go outside and make friends are you all who start being offensive when you all leave aside your reading comprehension skills because you rather feel attacked.

[kithtaehyung]

May I ask kindly for the continuation? I just don’t really know what to say other than this was stellar. You know how to build characters and fit them together well. And you were right the other day when you said dialogue is your strong suit - though, the rest of what you do isn’t far off.

Honestly, I don’t know how to come here and stream of consciousness like everyone else but I promise I am sweating like they are. For instance, I nearly lost my mind at the popsicle shit, Yoongi is too strong for not running across that yard right there - I would blown it. Even Yoongi’s back, I was like yeah, that’s hot. I might not have words for anyone after the next part.

I had to catch up on a lot this week before I read because, and I know she told you, Riley is keeping me busy helping her post injury (I love her though so I’m happy doing it). This morning she was like “before you help me get ready, go read” So clearly she loves me back because this was fan-fucking-tastic. It was a good break from stress that’s for sure. Also I can’t remember if I ever sent my thoughts on the rest of the 3tan chapters, I can write it again if I didn’t. 

-🎷 

SAX HIIII i'm so sorry for responding to this so damn late! all the bbq asks got buried during the time when i was still trying to get some energy back. ofc you can ask for the continuation bc it's already in the works mwahahahah

thank you so much for the dialogue commentary! it's absolutely my favorite part, and i do think i need to work on a lot of other aspects. you're too kind, though<3

LOLLL we were all sweating during this part, it seems... the damn popsicle shit had me hiding my face bc it was so fcking hot lol. you would've blown it right there? honestly, me too. idk how yoongi was able to hold back but.. maybe he's a long con revenge guy as we can probably see with the lollipop HAHAHA

how is riley? how was the showcase if it's already done?? hope y'all are both doing well! i actually played my violin for a little bit yesterday bc i might use it a lot more in the coming months.

she's such a real one for getting you to read summer bbq LOL i love you both so much. glad you enjoyed and no, i didn't get your thoughts on the rest of the 3tan chapters but literally no rush at all! if you wanna send them in, i would be fcking hype to read them. but take your time!  

[stellar-solar-flare]

So, Anika, I'm actually going to be doing this comment in a few parts to ensure I can give this the full attention it needs because my gods I love it! So I hope you don't mind a few reblogs instead of one and not hearing everything I think at once because my poor brain can only survive so much protective knight Steve before it blue-screens to death.

As I have mentioned, I really really love these two, and I'm super excited to dive into the continuation of their story. I know I was pestering you about this one and it deserves way more love than it has so far gotten (and I myself have not done a very good job at commenting in a prompt manner, sorry about that). I am so so excited to be here now.

Cut for length/spoiler reasons.

I wonder, with the notes in the first part about how it was too early to reveal the pregnancy to Steve and the way she thought how her daughter might grow in a better world was her foresight and it had to do with this. Because I imagine that Steve would have had even harder time asking her to come here to help if he had known - if he had taken the route of just going to her and leaving the country, even if it meant abandoning his values and vows and not attempting to help the innocent.

And oh, what a beautiful way to start the story, even as the events that happen to Tony are not so beautiful. I love how you set the stage here with all the different sensory elements, and how it forms this sort of… record scratch when Tony’s situation is revealed. I love the contrast here.

on her right, King Howard’s daughter, Princess Morgana.

Hi AD, lol. That’s not her name in my headcanons but hehe. Sorry, I had to. Also I enjoyed seeing Thor and Jane together because I’ve definitely shipped them since Thor I.

“Poison. I cannot determine what kind as of yet. Carry His Royal Majesty to his chambers!” the physician called out, not bothered by the fact he was ordering around knights and other nobility. “At once! There is no time to spare!”

We love Banner being good at his job and not caring whose ass he has to kick to be that.  

It was true that King Howard Stark might have yet to comprehend, despite his long years of ruling his lands, that one might catch more flies with sugar than vinegar, gain more by threading his actions with kindness than by spitting threats of violence; but he was no fool.

Are you sure about that, authoress? I mean… Considering some of the avenues I know he’ll yet to take in the story. But I definitely think Howard is in character here, and I love how you describe him – and Steve’s silent disapproval, too.

“It is made from the nectar-filled blossoms or the tubers of the Aconitum lycoctonum flower. There is… no cure known to man.”

Oh, wolfsbane. No wonder that it’s not the easiest thing to treat. And poor Pepper – I’m glad that Clint at least cares about her sorrow.

Sir Barnes was correct in one thing: Anthony being poisoned and having his life hanging on a thread was horrible enough, and rash decisions and actions such as standing up to the King would only make it worse.

Ah, Bucky Barnes, attempting (and mostly failing) to stop Steve from being a dumbass in every universe. I’m glad here he had Sam for support, too – good quick thinking, Sam! If only he knew most of the damage had already done at the ‘getting married to a witch and getting her pregnant’ part. Also I fcking hate Howard here.

But Steven feared a lot more deaths too. Should Prince Anthony die, King Howard would unleash pure hell on Asgard and as a consequence, on all Starkerbürg as well.

I enjoyed seeing that in addition to the whole ‘not wanting the innocent to die�� there was also this more selfish motive of Steve wanting to protect his beloved here. At least that’s what I thought was implied here – in addition to, of course, preventing the war and also ensuring that he could remain close to her. I always enjoy people having layered reasons for doing things.

The last idea had squeezed his heart in an icy fist, nausea clawing up his throat. He knew someone who could achieve things as close to a miracle as possible in this realm. He had felt such miracle in his own blood, tissue and cells; he had felt the wonders strong magic was capable of when in the hands of the kind-hearted.

And while it hurts my heart to see all this, I still enjoyed how hard it was for him to make this call – I love the description of the nausea clawing its way up his throat.

That was the one price he couldn’t pay. He’d much rather pay with his own life – but not yours. Gods, never yours.

Steve Rogers at his very core essence, thank you very much. We love him and he deserves absolutely everything.

“…she? What—the woman you have been sneaking off to see?” Sir Barnes enquired, causing a startled and utterly confused expression to appear on Steven’s face, a small alarmed sound pushing past the man’s lips despite his effort to remain composed.

LOL. I mean. Steve, darling, what exactly did you expect. And ugh, learning about Howard’s attitude towards women is no surprise but also makes me wish that the poison would be in his heart instead.

“Steve, this is not a subject for joking.”

And I enjoyed seeing Bucky’s shock here. At his core he is probably not surprised, but he’s been taught all this propaganda about witches, and his arguments do make sense. It really highlights the gravity of what Steve is about to do here, what sort of risk he’s taking, when even Bucky, who very much knows how Steve would never endanger innocents and all that, is this taken aback by the idea.

“Choose your words carefully, Bucky. That is the woman I love and owe my life to. I would die for her, and I would not have been standing here had she not healed me.”

Ah, protective “I am willing to scorch the earth for her” Steve my absolute beloved. It’s a few hundred years too early for nuclear Armageddon but the spirit is there alright.

What of your knighthood? Are you willing to give up that, if you are forced to leave in the darkness of the night and never return to bring your beloved to safety? Are you willing to leave the path of the honorary knight to become a lawless fugitive?

Ohhhhh I LOVED the parallel of this to the way that we see Steve make his choice in Civil War and becoming a nomad to someone he considers family and loves.

“Gods, Steven Grant of Rogers, of all stunts you could have pulled to get yourself hanged, you truly had to go and chose the most foolish one. My God- Steven…”

Bucky Barnes needing a drink in every universe. But I agree with Steve here. It’s not foolish and I love the description and the reference to the Bible(? I think that’s a callback to Corinthians and if so, I adore you capturing this medieval spirit of folk beliefs and biblical things coexisting in Medieval Europe for a long long time, some might say to this day).

“I’m sorry, Bucky. No one could know. She’s– she is too precious. I had to protect her,” he explained softly, urgently. “And I still do. I will, with your help or without it. But… please.”

And I agree with you on this one, Bucky would definitely be hurt, and I feel like he’s only resigning here because he knows Steve will do whatever Steve will deem necessary to go to her. Like there’s no stopping him when he gets this way and  Bucky of all people is definitely the one to know that.

Alright, alright, we are at the cut, and I have this anticipation for the future developments in my stomach. Eek. But I know there’s a happy ending, so I shall strap in to enjoy the ride into it.

I haven’t said it enough but you are so talented and amazing, and I adore this universe and your take on both Steve in all universes and this specific Steve so, so much, so thank you for sharing your gifts with us.

Ochranuj me (Protect Me) - S.R.

Part 1/2

Type: medieval/fantasy/fairy tale AU; a part of this pseudomedieval-fantasy AU

Pairing: knight Steve Rogers x reader   Word Count: 8,6k

Summary:  Your practice of magic is punishable by death. Your love is forbidden by law; and yet it has been blessed, more than he knows.

When the crown prince is poisoned, Knight Steven Rogers is faced with a choice: will he risk a war or the love of his life?

And what of you? If asked… shall you risk it all? For the lands where you live… for your knight?

Warnings: attempted murder, poisoning, blood, mentions of death, polytheism, mentions of pregnancy (reader/OFC), Slovak language ‘cause I can

A/N: Actual title is Ochraňuj mě (Protect Me) ...tumblr cannot handle a ň in their title 🙃 DIVIDER by @firefly-graphics; fits after the events of the previous instalments

A/N 2: This is one less smut and more plot, forgive me 🤭 I hope you'll enjoy anyway. Yes, the Merlin inspo is real here. Inspo also from Bílá laň by Vesna. For music, check it out here, for visuals here.

Chodila, chodila za tebou bílá laň lásky se napila navzdory všem přísahám. Prosila pány lesa ať ji pustí za tebou zažít si, jaké to je jít za srdce ozvěnou.

Tady je tvůj háj, tady je tvůj ráj, jinam nepatříš. Jako bílá laň svoji duši chraň, ať záři neztratíš.

Tady je tvůj háj, tady je tvůj ráj, jinam nepatříš. Tak ať nepotká tě kříž. (kříž, kříž, kříž) - Bílá laň by Vesna

Boisterous laugh. Wine poured in gallons painting cheeks nearly just as ruddy as the warmth of the torches illuminating the high halls of the Starkerbürg castle painted the walls. Rich aroma of butter, oils, meats and spices flowing in the air, clinking of the most precious silverware and a distant sound of flutes as the musicians tasked to raise the already high spirits could be barely heard over the noise of the feast.

Under the watchful eye of the gods or the only God it was now believed there was, a celebration of peace was raving, everything but peaceful and serene; loud and overwhelming instead, a whirlwind of emerald green threaded with gold welcomed by the steady colours of rich crimson and gold. An anniversary of the peace made between the kingdom of Asgard and Starkerbürg, a party led by Thor Odinson, the king of the lands, honouring the deal his late father King Odin had made right before his passing.

The high table with King Howard sitting at the centre, his son Anthony, the crown prince, by his right, along with the woman he was courting, Pepper of the Potts; on her right, King Howard’s daughter, Princess Morgana. On the king’s left, the guests of honour; King Thor, his wife Queen Jane, and his brother Prince Loki. Knights and warriors of the highest ranks, lords and ladies of nobility joining the celebrations, servants all but running around the hall to tend to everyone’s needs.

Then, a sound of a chalice hitting the stone floor, one that would have been met with more laughter, had it not fallen from Prince Anthony’s hand, suddenly scarily pale and trembling. Cold to touch too, a terrifying contrast to his burning forehead glistening with sweat. Body sliding down the chair, barely even faint frantic motions to his chest.

Brief, deafening silence.

The traitorous calm before a storm would hit and leave nothing but death and destruction in its wake.

Chaos.

Swords drawn.

A wave of threats of violence.

A thundering voice of the King of Starkerbürg himself.

Calls for the royal physician Banner.

Images of peace and joy shattered; a single inconspicuous calm face among the sea of others in the face of a tragedy in making.

“Poison. I cannot determine what kind as of yet. Carry His Royal Majesty to his chambers!” the physician called out, not bothered by the fact he was ordering around knights and other nobility. “At once! There is no time to spare!”

Knights practically tripping over each other to tend to their prince, to their future ruler, to their brother in arms even as by rank he stood high above them. Rustle and grunts; a whisper of skirts as the culprit slipped away in the midst of disarray and cries of fear for the prince and the future of both kingdoms alike.

To think that an attack at the crown happening during the presence of a party of another kingdom – one similarly strong – was but a coincidence, would have been foolishly naïve.

Oh there were no such coincidences; this was but the first step towards a war.

And the perpetrator would be treated with that in mind.

“Aconite, most likely,” sounded the verdict, the words solemn on the physician’s lips as he fearfully raised his gaze to the King hovering over his shoulder as he inspected the second most important patient of the kingdom at the royal chambers.

The dark note in Banner’s voice snapped Steven from the haze as he, Sir Barnes, Sir Barton and Sir Wilson stood along the walls of Anthony’s chambers, tall and menacing, but just as helpless as Prince Anthony’s betrothed seated in the corner.

Whatever poison the physician was talking about, it was not known to Steven; but the message written in Banner’s expression was clear as day and terrifying like a night to be spent in the woods with rumoured presence of ghouls.

Inevitable death.

It was true that King Howard Stark might have yet to comprehend, despite his long years of ruling his lands, that one might catch more flies with sugar than vinegar, gain more by threading his actions with kindness than by spitting threats of violence; but he was no fool. He perceived the solemnity of the announcement and received it with a shadow over his already distorted features.

“This… aconite, Banner. What kind of a poison is that?” he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest, but not bending. Not under the weight on the crown on his head, nor under the weight of the tidings he might be scared to receive. His face was but a mask of stern indifference; a silent warning to Banner to choose his next words carefully.

As if stating the patient’s condition was a choice, Steven thought darkly, his heart pounding painfully against his ribcage as he exchanged glances with his best friend standing by his side. When he looked back at the physician, he could see him swallow dryly even from the several feet distance. Yet, the brave man faced the King with his head held high and his expression filled with sorrow.

“A deadly kind, Your Royal Majesty,” Banner said slowly. Rage flashed on the King’s face, Steven’s stomach dropping at both the sight and the worst tidings brought. Death. “It is made from the nectar-filled blossoms or the tubers of the Aconitum lycoctonum flower. There is… no cure known to man.”

A sniffle sounded in the corner of the room, completely ignored except for Sir Barton’s compassionate glance towards the woman who was on the brink of despair at the mere thought of the man she had clearly already learned to love leaving this world forever.

The King beckoned to the guards standing by the door, making them instantly step forward with their spears ready, heading for Banner menacingly.

Steven’s feet twitched as he wanted to step forward to protect the physician, outrage rising at the injustice even as fear twisted his stomach.

Sir Barnes brushed his hand discreetly to stop him.

Steven gritted his teeth, but stayed put for now, watching the scene unfold with disdain.

Sir Barnes was correct in one thing: Anthony being poisoned and having his life hanging on a thread was horrible enough, and rash decisions and actions such as standing up to the King would only make it worse.

A raging man was an unwise man; and the King was only a man too, even as he compared himself to various deities and had nearly as much power as them – which only rendered him more dangerous. There was no point in scaring the physician to death or even hurting him, but such was the King’s power. Such was his God-given right to punish whoever as he pleased. It mattered little that Banner could barely be blamed for-

-for the crown prince’s impending death, apparently.

“Then I advise you, Banner, to find one fast,” King Howard sneered as the guards stood behind the physician now. “Otherwise, you shall meet the same fate as whoever of Asgard dared to try and rob me of my son.”

The guards grabbed the man’s shoulders and Steven’s hand instinctively went for his sword again; and he was not the only one. Still, the knights stood, hesitant to disobey their King even in the face of the glaring injustice, fighting an inner battle between honour and goodness of heart and the oath they had taken. Their loyalty was to the kingdom and the King represented it most of all, after all; even if he seemed to threaten it the most of all, too, at the moment.

Well, not on Steven’s watch.

“Wait!” he called out as he stepped forward, earning a hard glare from the King himself that should have told him to keep quiet and fall in line, but he could not. Not even for Bucky’s audible sigh behind him. Not when-

“Is there anything we can do for him as of now, is what we are trying to ask,” Sir Wilson spoke up before Steven could, moving to stand next to him.

Steven took a deep breath as his gaze flickered to his comrade, finding his face arranged in a carefully crafted humbleness – as it should be in the face of the ruler even when he was addressing the physician.

Banner’s words were kind, his voice firm and regretful.

“I am afraid there isn’t, good Sir.”

“The Royal Guard and all the knights have a clear mission given by the crown, Sir Wilson,” the King barked as he gestured for the physician to be dragged away, the poor man allowing it without a protest. King Howard’s gaze fell on his son’s pale face as he lied on the bed with nothing but soundless whimpers on his lips, before he snapped back to the four knights present. “Arrest all servants and nobility of Asgard. I shall have the King and his brother for myself. And should my son meet his forefathers, I shall have their heads on a spike by tomorrow.”

With those words, he turned on his heel and stepped out, his leave abruptly followed by Anthony���s wife-to-be rushing to her betrothed’s side, cheeks damp with tears.

Steven regarded the scene unfolding, frozen with horror and unease greater than anyone.

He feared the death of his friend, naturally, as they had just dragged the one single person with any chance of curing Anthony in the whole kingdom away from his bedside.

But Steven feared a lot more deaths too. Should Prince Anthony die, King Howard would unleash pure hell on Asgard and as a consequence, on all Starkerbürg as well.

All the knights knew that; everyone knew that. They all had a heavy feeling in their stomach at the mere thought, their feet slow and unwilling as they left the chambers one by one. Yet, Steven’s heart was heavier.

The thought had occurred to him when he had wondered what exactly the King was expecting from Banner.

To turn back time so the prince had never got poisoned?

To pray to the gods for a miracle?

To perform a miracle himself and cure what was considered uncurable?

The last idea had squeezed his heart in an icy fist, nausea clawing up his throat.

He knew someone who could achieve things as close to a miracle as possible in this realm. He had felt such miracle in his own blood, tissue and cells; he had felt the wonders strong magic was capable of when in the hands of the kind-hearted. He was still breathing solely because of it; and he knew the person who could achieve this closely, intimately even, mind, body and soul, the depth of the goodness of her heart.

Perhaps you would be able to replicate the feat of saving Steven from certain death.

Perhaps your magic was powerful enough to save thousands lives by saving one. Powerful enough to prevent a war.

But hope and miracles were not to be trifled with. Magic was not to be trifled with. Being seen practising magic meant a definite death sentence.

But would it? If it saved the future king’s life?

Surely, he couldn’t risk it; he couldn’t risk your life. Of all the things he had seen in his life, of all the things he had ever had the fortune to hold, you were the most precious one to him. If he brought you here, he could lose you. He could lose you, by his own hand no less, and that would be the highest price to pay for peace he did not even know would settle or not in the end.

No.

That was the one price he couldn’t pay. He’d much rather pay with his own life – but not yours. Gods, never yours.

But if you only could… knew a potion, could do anything at all…

As he marched with his comrades to arrest the innocent – for it could not be the work of all Asgardians at once – his jaw was tense, the dilemma occupying all his thoughts, feeling like it might tear him in half.

Until it hadn’t.

If he did nothing, the war was be inevitable. If he did nothing, he would lose you anyway.

A raging man was a dangerous man and King Stark would burn the world in the wake of his anger and grief, heedless of whoever would burn with it.

Steven stopped dead in his tracks, Sir Barnes nearly colliding with him as a result.

“Steve, what the-“

“I must go,” Steven said in a hushed voice, swiftly changing direction; or attempting to. Sir Barnes’ hand was quick to grab onto his elbow, stopping him, heedless of other knights continuing their path.

“Steve, what in heavens do you mean by that?”

“I must fetch someone. I believe she could help.”

Sir Barnes bewilderment would perhaps be almost comical had it not been for the dread pooling cold in Steven’s gut.

“…she? What—the woman you have been sneaking off to see?” Sir Barnes enquired, causing a startled and utterly confused expression to appear on Steven’s face, a small alarmed sound pushing past the man’s lips despite his effort to remain composed.

Hold on, hold on-- Bucky knew?!

The look Steven received back was unimpressed at best – of course Bucky knew. He knew Steven almost better than he knew himself.

“Save the surprise for another day. How could she possibly help? Is she a physician’s assistant? Or even an apprentice for some insane reason?”

Had Steve had the capacity, he’d glare at Bucky for the offensive tone with which he had asked the question; however, he did not have it and in the brief moment he spent pondering, he realized that Bucky was not opposed to the idea itself. It was simply the ways of Starkerbürg: to try and take a woman as a physician’s apprentice was insane indeed. King had the God-given right to appoint physicians – and King Howard would certainly never approve of a female one.

But that didn’t matter, because that was not who you were.

“She’s… she is a healer.”

“A healer?” Sir Barnes echoed pointedly, doubt colouring his words. “What does than even mean? We do not have time for this.”

Steven huffed, trying to tug his arm free from Sir Barnes’ grasp as his impatience grew along with the number of doubts whether it was ever a good idea to consider your aid; but there were no options. No time to search for them. No time to waste and no time for finesse. He needed to go and he needed Bucky to understand – and more than that.

“She saved my life, Bucky. Back when I fell from the crags into the river… when you thought I was dead-“

“You must have been lucky, fell into deep water. You had superficial injuries. This is a poison. One the best physician of the court claims to have no antidote for.”

Steven swallowed thickly, the heaviest of feelings in his stomach as he chose to reveal his greatest secret as to make a point and be released to act before it’d be too late. “Bucky, I had much more than superficial injuries. She… she helped then. She might be able to help now, but… I will need your help with protecting her should it come to it.”

Bucky looked at Steve as if he had just grown a second head, glancing around nervously as guards and knights alike kept passing them, casting strange looks at them for their stillness. Sir Barnes lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper.

“Are you saying you were wounded much worse and yet she was able to tend to you? In such short time that you were missing then? And that she might be able to help here, now, with a poison that has no known cure?” Sir Barnes demanded hastily, bewildered and clearly irritated. “Are you hearing yourself, Steven? What kind of a healer would she have to be to-“

The almost sardonic voice suddenly fell silent, all blood draining from Sir Barnes’ face when the horrifying realization finally dawned to him. His hand fell limp, finally releasing Steven’s arm.

“Steve, this is not a subject for joking.”

Steven swallowed heavily, heart thundering in his chest, blood pounding in his temples. He shouldn’t have told – but he had to. He had to, right? Bucky needed to understand-

He sighed quietly, whole body strung tight in expectation of his friend exploding in rage – rage he had no time for.

“I am not joking. And you are right, we are losing precious time, I should-”

The sudden grip on Steven’s his shoulder, appearing as to stop him from leaving, was much more brutal than the hold on his elbow had been, fingers digging into flesh even over the layers of clothing.

“You— have you been… lying with a--”

Steven’s voice was quiet, but as sharp and dangerous as the sword resting in the sheath on his hip. “Choose your words carefully, Bucky. That is the woman I love and owe my life to. I would die for her, and I would not have been standing here had she not healed me.”

“That could be exactly what she wants you to think!” Sir Barnes sputtered. Steven fought the urge to roll his eyes – the absurdity of such statement was glaring.

“Oh for heavens-- I might be a fool sometimes, but I am not an idiot-”

“Debatable!” Sir Barnes whispered as madly as if he was in fact yelling. “As you’re proving it this very moment!”

Steven shook his head, the feeling in his gut growing more gnawing by the second, every frantic beat of his heart feeling like a waste of precious time.

“Bucky, you said it yourself – we do not have time for this! I must go. I will get her, but… please. Help me protect her if the King is blind to the fact she uses--- it to do good.”

Sir Barnes simply stared back, the halls empty by now as much as his gaze, however inquiring.

The grip on Sir Rogers’ arm loosened.

Silence stretched. Precious second ticked by, grains of sand in hourglass no one could turn back falling; and with each and every one, Steve’s stomach tightened further with creeping horror.

Surely his most precious, most loyal friend, having been standing by his side since childhood, would not abandon him now? Surely he would not betray him in moments that might be deciding his fate, the fate of his beloved, of the whole kingdom?

“Bucky, please. I swear-- I’m begging you. I need to-- I need to protect her. At any cost.”

“What of your sword?” Sir Barnes asked dully, appearing indifferent to Steven’s desperate pleas.

What of your knighthood? Are you willing to give up that, if you are forced to leave in the darkness of the night and never return to bring your beloved to safety? Are you willing to leave the path of the honorary knight to become a lawless fugitive?

The smile which found its way to the corners of Steve’s lips was soft; sad and torn, for it was the greatest honour to serve, to protect, to help. He had been and always would be grateful for the rare chance he had got.

But there was no greater blessing of the gods themselves than you having entered his life and taking it by the most beautiful of storms. He loved you. He loved you more than anything and anyone in this world and that was what he would not even dream of giving up.

He didn’t respond with words; and yet, the exasperation on his closest friend’s face told him he did not have to. Sir Barnes understood from Steven’s expression alone. He always had.

“Gods, Steven Grant of Rogers, of all stunts you could have pulled to get yourself hanged, you truly had to go and chose the most foolish one. My God- Steven…”

Most foolish one? Echoed in Steven’s head, the words absurd. No. The most gorgeous one, the purest one, the most blessed, he allowed himself to muse. The most honourable one too, no? Love. Where was justice, if love, the purest emotions of all, was considered a crime? Did the new religious teachings not speak of love being kind, patient, knowing no dishonour and wrongs?

That was how he loved you. Wholly and entirely, kindly, patiently, even if passionately.

It was only then when Steven snapped from his haze and finally noticed a trace of hurt on Sir Barnes’ face when it occurred to him why Bucky had taken so long to respond. He was cross with Steven; but not as much for the alleged crime, but for having kept it a secret. Keeping you a secret; the one closest to his heart, his beloved, hidden from the one person he had always trusted with anything.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. No one could know. She’s-- she is too precious. I had to protect her,” he explained softly, urgently. “And I still do. I will, with your help or without it. But… please.”

Sir Barnes continued to regard him, stunned into silence still, expression unreadable.

Then, he shook his head; what might seem as disagreement however, Steve recognized as resignation. He had known Bucky for too long to not be able to decipher which shake of a head was a no and which was an expression of indignation and regret at his own choice of a best friend.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

And with those words, Steve took his hasty leave, his minute relief drowned in the sea of worry when he sneaked into the stables to rush through the gates of the castle, claiming to be running a King’s errand.

Seeking his closeness the pretty white doe having sipped at love all despite her oath, she begged the forest spirits to let her go to follow her heart and its eternal song.

Light breeze caressing your hair like the tender fingers of your lover, brushing away a lose strand from your face. Gentle September sunrays of a late afternoon warming your cheeks, long leaves of grass tickling your ankles and your hands as you gathered brownwort, thyme and lady’s mantle, the smell almost too much despite its pleasant notes. Your hand instinctively laying over your belly as the reminder of why you were gathering these particular herbs blossomed in your mind anew, a smile settling on your face. It was not just the time of year blessing people with abundance of these flowers, a nature’s reminder the time was coming to bath in the blessed lake on the Autumn equinox; it was the sweet secret humming under your heart too, growing stronger and more beautiful by day – and slightly bittersweet for for now, it was only yours to keep, your beloved knight none the wiser.

Steven.

The very reason, you suspected, for the heavy feeling in your heart; the reason why none of the kind offerings of mother nature seemed to sooth a jittery feeling you had woken with up from your restless sleep. Unease had been crawling over your skin; a solemnity’s shadows, despite the beautiful weather and the joyful morning realisation that a barely noticeable bump was now showing on your body, a testament to the blessings of love.

The sky was beginning to colour with sunset with no clouds in sight; and yet, you could feel a storm coming, one you did not feel would be of the refreshing purifying kind. The air did not smell of rain; if you breathed in deeply, it reeked of the very death the wind seemed to whisper about in the tallest of birch trees. A warning; a witch’s intuition tuned to the finest hints of the gods of nature and forest spirits. You had tried to sooth yourself, coaxing yourself into peace by wondering if it perhaps was but a new future mother’s anxiety.

Yet, an instinct as old as time whispered to you to know better.

Which was why the wild stomping of hooves nearing your cabin should have not taken you by surprise. But it did.

You rose from your crouch so fast your head span, gathered flowers falling from your hands at the brief faint sensation; you steadied yourself just as Steven’s horse came into view, slowing into a walk as not to startle you or crush all the blossoms on the meadow.

The silent thank you to the gods for seeing your love alive and well left your lips without prompting, followed by your spine tingling with a shudder of power at its base.

Almost as if the gods blessed you for your genuine gratitude and gifted you with strength. Strength you shall no doubt need, for Steven might be living and breathing, dismounting his mare in a thousand-times practised manner, breathtaking as ever, but the distress on his face and the tension of his wide shoulders told you those shoulders carried the weight of the world at the moment.

Feet waking with motion, you met him halfway as he rushed to you, his arms quick to embrace you lovingly but so tight all air left your ribcage for long moments. Steven’s heart thundered against your ear as you hid your face against his chest. Fresh air had washed his clothes of most smells, but sweat and wine and rich spices still enveloped your senses, a tell-tale signs of the feast which he had told you about being interrupted by something vicious.

Yet, you took precious moments of simply breathing your lover in, basking in the comfort his arms offered no matter the circumstance.

He nuzzled his face in your hair, his chest expanding with a generous inhale, a steadying breath which made his heart race faster, as if attempting to outrun the very storm you had felt arriving.

You ran your hands down his broad back, feeling your own heart leaping into your throat as the silence between you, often so sweet and comforting, stretched ominously.

“Steven… love,” you whispered, attempting to shift in his embrace, only achieving his hold growing firmer, his muscles almost shaking with effort not to let go.

Oh Steven… What a terrible feat had been laid upon him?

“What has happened?”

Finally releasing your body, his hands were quick to cradle your face instead, achingly gentle, even as his eyes roamed your face wordlessly, brimming with so much emotion it stirred your unease further.

“Rytier moj?”

Steven’s face softened minutely, thumbs stroking your cheekbones as tenderly as butterfly wings despite the power – or the lack of it – in his grip.

“My love…”

Lips curling in a tiny smile, you mirrored Steven’s affection, reaching to settle your palm against his cheek, fingers of your other hand carding through his hair; your heart fluttered when he leaned into your touch, a wavering breath escaping his lips before they pressed against your palm to sooth the scratch of his beard against your skin.

Despite the dulcet image he made, eyes fluttering close for a blissful moment of nothing but love shared, you felt his body pulse with anxious urgency seemingly seeping into yours through your fingertips.

“I did not sleep well…” you confessed, his already pursed lips turning down. “I had a heavy feeling in me. Now I know the gods had not warned me simply for their own whims. What’s happened?”

Steven opened his eyes again; with a single caress of the breeze, he straightened, his aura of a knight – a fierce protector, a loyal friend, a humble determined servant – returning with its full force as did his worry.

“I need your help.”

A simple plea.

A simple answer.

“Always, rytier moj. Anything,” you promised.

One would expect relief to fill your lover’s features; instead, dread twisted them into a frown of dismay. Almost as if he had been hoping for your rejection.

Why?

The whisper of death among the trees grew louder, haunting, sending such a shudder through your body not even your lover’s warmth could hope to protect you from it, another urgent question scratching at the back of your mind.

Death, the trees seemed to whisper.

Whose death?

“Oh bosorka moja…”

Not Steven’s. Never. Not on your watch. Not as long as you walked this realm.

And not your child’s. You’d claw a throat open with your bare hands had anyone tried to take them away. Take her away. You had dreamed two nights prior, dreamed of a girl with Steven’s beautiful eyes and your hair caressed by the wind, her laughter filling the air as he sat her on his shoulders and she placed the daisy crown on his head-

The image had been so full of hope, so bright, so full of promise; it battled the current scent of death fiercely, one blending into another, and it felt like you were stood in the middle.

Your choice. Your power.

Your victory; or your loss.

You gulped, your gentle hold on Steven’s face growing shaky; with fear or the weight of responsibility, you weren’t sure.

“What is it, love? You are worrying me… come in. Tell me what weights down your-“

“Prince Anthony has been poisoned,” he said at last.

The whisper of the wind seemed to turn into a screech of a gale, even as the tree leaves and grass barely rustled.

The Prince… was he the one whose death you felt impending? It must have been.

In a split second, it became so clear why Steven was so shaken.

An impending death of his brother in arms. Of someone whom he served and appreciated.

Of the future ruler; quite possibly caused by the attempts of the party of Asgard.

An act of war.

Should Prince Anthony die, there would be no stopping at one death. Devastating number of lives could be lost. Including Steven’s.

No. Not on your watch. Not as long as you walked this realm.

But could you stop it?

Stood in the middle. Your choice. Your power.

Could you prevent a war?

Your mind was set into a whirl, various herbs and remedies for different poisonings refreshed in your mind.

“Do you know which poison it was?” you asked urgently, dropping your hands; and confused as why Steven’s remained firmly on your face, his expression speaking of pain greater than before. “Steven, love. What are his troubles? I can send a potion, pass it as a remedy from a physician-”

“Burning feeling in his forehead, weakness of muscles, trembling, cold sweat… he fainted and could not be woken up, only for a brief moment. He had trouble speaking, began to shake, fainted again...” Steven listed slowly, his unease growing with every word.

And so did yours.

Determination bled out from your body drop by drop, replaced by dread, the very weakness your lover was talking about as if settling in your own muscles and bones.

“The physician believes it might have been... aconite?” he added.

You had figured as much, seemingly endless moments before Steven spoke the dreaded word.

Aconite.

The worst nightmare of all living things; the deadliest daydream of those who meant harm and would not stop until their enemy released their last breath.

Death, screeched the breeze in the crowns of the birch trees; the yew trees, the very symbol of passing, joining in.

Death. War. Death.

Your power. Your victory. Your loss.

Your voice shook more frantically than young aspen leaves in the wind.

“Steven… aconite is deadly. I have no potion or salve for this. There is no cure-”

“That is what physician Banner said.”

“But then what…”

Your voice trailed off, words stuck in your throat, air stolen from your chest. A lighting from clear skies could struck you at the very moment and you would barely take notice of such.

It all made sense now. You having lost sleep. The whispers of death. The assumed shiver of power you shall no doubt need. And at last, Steven’s almost palpable dismay when you had said you’d help. That you’d do anything.

He had hoped you’d help.

He was terrified of it all the same.

You could feel blood draining from your face, rushing past your ears; unspeakable horror and determination swept you like the non-existent gale in the tree crowns.

“Steven…”

His grip on your face grew firmer, unsteady but urgent, his forehead pressed against yours as his eyes slid shut, his whisper a frantic promise, a confession and a prayer at once.

“I know. Believe me, my love, I know, and I have never been more scared of anything in my whole life,” he said huskily, barely audible over the wild thundering of your heart, the shaky sound of your quick breaths, even as the rest of the world faded into background, all noise ceasing. Or perhaps even the sparrows forgot how to sing, struck by fear for their life.“I would have not asked this of you if I did not fear that Anthony’s death would unleash a war with Asgard and might destroy us all… and if I did not believe I could protect you.”

“Steven-“

A thumb over your lip, gently pressing to silence your protest, Steven guided you to look up to his eyes, every word falling from his lips an oath signed by his own blood.

“Bosorka moja… I shall protect you, no matter the cost. You must know I would lay my life for you. I will, should it come to it. As long as you are safe.”

Consumed by adoration and terror at once, you slipped from Steven’s hold, shaking your head.

He had not the slightest idea what he was speaking of, the reckless fool.

He had no idea.

And he had no idea whom he would be leaving should he deliver on his terrible promise.

“These words are not nearly as comforting as you believe them to be! How would we-- how would I live without you?” you lamented, feeling the fire of power and indignation burn inside of you, chasing the fear away for several beats of your heart. “And I-- I am not even sure I can heal him.”

“You healed me,” Steven offered kindly, encouraging, confusion and the softest trace of hurt at you having escaped his touch twisting his face. He had no idea. He had no idea at all. “You said I was at the brink of death myself-“

“You were,” you spat, not appreciating the reminder – not of his injuries, nor of your past recklessness, as grateful as you were for the latter, not a single regret in your mind for having risked it all to save the handsome stranger with goodness etched into his very soul, having shone so bright it had outshined your doubts and fear for your life. But this was different. So much circumstance had changed. “But I was… I had faith in your soul, saw your good heart. I believed to be safe from you should I be too weak to protect myself after I casted my spells, and for that, I was able to pour all my magic into the healing. And I-- I was much more careless with my power then… “

You made a pause, inhaling slowly, gathering courage in the face of Steven’s features twisting further with distress.

“But Steven… that was before. I-- before we-“

“What is it, bosorka moja? Before what?”

Your lower lip trembled, regret lacing the soft touch of your fingertips to his face.

This was not how you wished for him to find out. You had told him before, erased his memory to ease his conscience and to prepare for the right moment, a moment fit for such joyful tidings; but much like him, having rushed here asking for help despite the unspeakable risks, you had no other option.

You had no choice.

You had no time.

The deep-sea blue with a forest green shade of his irises brimmed with emotion, tenderness and silent question.

With a lump in your throat, you dropped your hands again, curling them around your middle as if to protect the secret and save it for a reverent moment your love and lover – and your child – would have deserved.

Steven regarded your stance with dread visibly climbing up his throat. You could see it in his eyes, the sudden uncertainty, the questions written in his eyes growing frantic and painful.

Why had you stepped back from him? Why had you evaded his touch? Why did you seem taken by sorrow? What secret had you been keeping from him? For you must have had some. You must have not told him something crucial – and in a dark time like this, it shall come to light.

You appeared so shaken; you appeared scared. Of something he had failed to protect you from?

Or of his reaction to the revelation?

You chose your words carefully, speaking them slowly, even though you could feel him hanging onto every syllable.

“It is not only me anymore who needs to be protected.”

Steven did not understand; that much was clear from his expression, from the step he took closer to you only for you to take a step back, etching his hurt deeper into his face.

“I… I do not understand, my love. Do you have—do you know of someone who could help you? Do they need protection too?”

The they tasted of poison much bitterer than aconite; disbelief and profound pain.

You could almost hear it, the absurd questions he seemed to be asking himself. Was there… was there someone else? Someone else who had earned your love more fiercely than he had? More deserving?

The way your love remained hidden, the distance he still had to keep, laid heavy in his mind, always, now feeding his doubt; his fear that someone else now occupied the space he had so selfishly taken up in your heart.

But had only been here mere days ago, yes? Surely you could have not--- you would have not… or had you? No. That wasn’t possible. You were the kindest most loving person he had ever met, loyal to a fault – and he was blessed to be yours, to be loved, unconditionally, more than he deserved for keeping you his little secret.

You could not read thoughts; but Steven’s always seemed to be laid bare in front of you to card through. Betrayal and resignation all at once, jaw tight to mask his hurt, to hide the very doubt you read so clearly. Doubt, but not of you; of him. He had always carried it with him, the guilt of not providing for you as he imagined he should for his beloved.

Doubt, crystal clear in his gaze. It was possible, was it not? The most wonderful woman he had ever met, finally fed up, the goblet of your patience finally having overflowed, deciding to find a man worthy of you, able to take care of you, truly, one you were willing to-

You could not bear his mind screaming anymore, even as you had not heard a single word, a single thought, all of it but achy questions expressed by his gaze alone.

“No, Steven, I do not--- I merely cannot only think of myself now,” you said softly, searching for words to reveal the secret at last, not, not wanting to and craving it all the same. “I… I need to protect us.”

His shoulders sagged, doubt and heartache erased at once, tenderness at your worry for him melting into his smile.

“Do not fret, bosorka moja. I can hold my own.”

The faint smile in the corner of your mouth hurt, tears burning in your eyes.

“I know, rytier moj… and yes, I meant us, but I--- I also meant us.”

The arm you had curled around your middle shifted. Your palm spread pointedly over your belly as you met his gaze with hesitance and silent hope; for as much as you dreaded revealing the source of your worst fear, the tidings were still joyful. And you hoped with the entirety of your heart that Steven would accept them as such, much like the first time.

But first, he had to comprehend them.

Several rushed beats of your heart it took him; but then he finally did.

Suddenly, it was his turn to stand still and rigid as if a lightning from the perfectly clear skies struck him. And it might have as well.

His voice was barely louder than a breath, hoarse, laced with careful hope despite the glaring truth.

“You—we- are we-?”

A crystal-clear memory of those being the very words he had spoken the first time entered your mind, a single tear spilling over; the awe and reverence on his face mirrored his expression all the same as you confirmed.

“Yes.”

“You are with a child? My child?”

It would have been amusing, the questions, if you hadn’t been on a brink of hysteria and hadn’t there been a metaphorical sword hanging above your heads while you indulged in revealing the sweetest secret there was between lovers.

“Yes.”

Countless grains of sand in hourglass fell, Steven simply observing you, his gaze feasting on the entirety of you with newfound emotion that touched your very soul and made it shiver with delight. He observed you with such adoration and devotion you could only imagine he would show to a deity descending to walk the Earth.

And then he was surging forward, falling on his knees in front you, one hand on your hip, the other wrapping around your lower back to keep you close as he laid his forehead on your belly, shaky, slow and careful; nothing short of reverent. Despite the circumstance, all the tears prickling in your eyes found their release – every inch of your body sang, feeling Steven’s love for both you and the life he had a generous hand in creating.

“Oh bosorka moja… láska moja,” he muttered into the fabric before he looked up, hesitant fingers slipping under, to feel the very bump you had only noticed today. His lips parted in mute awe, eyes turning glassy with sheer delight and wonder at the miracle.

You allowed yourself another moment of basking in his love; feeling the delight spreading through every vein, through every bone and nerve, all the way to your very core and source of power. Your hands found gentle purchase of Steven’s hair as his lips pressed to your belly.

But then, the inaudible crackle in the air brought you both from your reverie, the breeze screeching of death instead of new life returning.

There was no choice; dread filled your being along with a haunting whisper of opportunity from a voice speaking in tongues you barely understood and yet deciphered as guidance.

You must go. You must try. Despite the risks.

Stood in the middle. Your power. Your victory; your loss.

Your only hope and your possible doom.

“I shall try my best to help, even as I do not know if I will be able to. But Steven…” you addressed him softly, revealing one more piece, one more source of joy, “our little girl must remain safe at any cost.”

The hands sprawled around your middle twitched, a single tear escaping him as his eyes shone.

“Our--- a girl? How-“

“It is but a feeling,” you admitted, earning a brilliant smile which lasted too shortly.

You smiled tightly in return, a few more tears rolling down your cheeks as Steven’s hand softly caressed your barely-there bump again, butterflies seemingly to erupting in your stomach, your heart humming.

He rose to his feet with something in his eyes turning steely, his gentle voice once against taking on a heaviness of an oath.

“I will protect you both, even if it should be the last thing I will ever do.”

One wavering breath was all the luxury you granted yourself before springing into action, not allowing yourself to lament at the potential of death weaved into Steven’s promise. You could not afford any more distraction. The hourglass was unrelenting, rushing you.

“I know. We shall get going.”

You could feel his eyes on you, a mute confusion as you ruminated through the cabinets, the fire lit, a small pot placed on it, two handfuls of water, milk thistle, ginseng roots, and sprinkle of uncaria leaves added to the mix.

“You can sit down, love, I shall only complete the potion swiftly and we will be on our way,” you assured him, reaching for a pinch of turmeric to add.

Steven did not, in fact, sit down – if anything, you could feel him grow taller behind you, as if his growing bewilderment added an inch or two to his already impressive height. His stare was firmly set on you, a little burning and slightly insulting since you could almost hear his silent questioning of your sanity.

A potion? But you had said-

You looked over your shoulder briefly, your lover’s body nearer than expected, causing you to need to crane you neck a bit.

“No, there is no potion to neutralise the poison – but this remedy strengthens a body, aids it to fight off an infection and weakness,” you explained, expecting Steven’s face clearing, but not waiting for it do so, busying yourself with reading the mental list of ingredients, recalling every indispensable element. Milk thistle, ginseng, uncaria leaves, turmeric… ah. Yes. Where herbs were concerned, rare or common, that would be all. Only one last ingredient.

A gentle hand on your elbow stopped you as you were turning to the stack of knives, halting your movements tenderly but firmly. Blinking, you lifted your gaze to Steven’s face again, disconcerted by his unreadable expression.

“Is it… safe?”

Had it not been for the large distress he was in, the feeling oozing of him and adding to your own shakiness, had it not been for the tenderness of his touch, you’d feign a slap to chase his hand away at the almost silly question – and at the sudden doubt in your knowledge and power and your reign over it.

“Steven, love, my apologies for the bluntness, but Prince Anthony is on his deathbed, so I cannot very well hurt him further and I shall have you known that this very potion you have drunk yourself-”

“For you,” he clarified, two soft syllables in contrast to your slightly exasperated words, your voice falling silent as sweet worry reflected in his sky-blue irises. Despite the circumstance, your heart seared at the fussing, no matter how groundless and ironic. “I am asking whether it is safe for you and our… our child to prepare that. I know it may seem irrational given why I am here, but-“

It was, you had to admit. And yet. You spent a precious moment, precious grains of sand falling in the ominous hourglass above your heads, placing your palm over his hand, reassuring.

“It is perfectly safe, rytier moj… certainly no more dangerous than rushing to the castle, the very heart of the Kingdom, and attempt to save the prince using the most outlawed practice in these lands,” you added with an unsteady cheekiness, earning an exasperated glare; and a full body shudder he couldn’t hope to contain.

The same tremble ran through your body; and yet, the whisper for caution was overshadowed by a tingle of energy unknown, a wordless encouragement. Almost a haunting promise from the Fate itself that bravery shall be rewarded.

But if that were true, where would the ever-present whispers of death and upcoming end fit in the mosaic then?

Shaking your head as well as the overwhelmingly bewildering sensations off, you charmed a soft smile for your lover and love – for the father of your child, already caring so deeply for the life to be born out of your love – and let your hand fall, turning back to your work as stream began to fill the cabin.

One last ingredient; a life essence to help maintain life.

You cradled the handle of the blade carefully in your hand, turning your other palm against the tip; the knife was out of your hand before you could comprehend how, pressed flat to Steven’s thigh, shielded from your touch.

“I’m sorry. I--- is that necessary?” Steven asked with a painful edge to his voice, his continued concern causing your heart to tremble.

“Yes… it is but a drop of blood, my love, I promise. A speckle of life essence to maintain life.”

His frown deepened as you reached for the knife again, fingers brushing his soothingly as you grasped at the handle. So many emotions played over his features; hesitance, concern, guilt. He must have realised you had used your blood before to cure him before you had even learned his name, another sacrifice having been made aside from having left yourself completely vulnerable to him when you had drained your magic and body alike to bring him from the death’s doorstep where you had found him at.

Then, an almost shy question, as if he felt too bold to even suggest such heretic thought.

“Life essence… would mine suffice, then?”

Where his implication was shy – that his mere mortal, human blood could match yours, the blood of a born witch – his determination was not.

He met your eye, a brilliant satisfied sparkle lighting up his irises when he read the truth in your hesitant gaze.

“Yes… it would. But-“

Your knight offered his left palm outstretched, no further questions. The bottomless trust in his gesture and in his eyes caused a lump to grow in your throat; the mere idea of cutting him, even if it was to only be but a scratch, had ache sting deep within your ribcage.

“Are you cert-“

“Would you rather I lead the cut myself, love?” he asked, his voice tender upon your hesitance, understanding the action would cause you pain – as if you were to hurt yourself instead.

And you might as well.

Your hands were made to heal his wounds, not cause them; your hands were made to erase his aches, not bring them; your hands were made to love, not hurt.

Your read in his gentle gaze as he nearly read in yours: I despise the thought of hurting you, rytier moj; It is but alright, bosorka moja.

You shook your head.

“I-- no. I may do it. I apologize, we do not have time for-“

A hand grasping your jaw, soft lips silencing your apologies; your eyes fluttered close despite seeing right through the trick. You felt the pressure of his hand against the blade, the silent sound of protest earning you a deeper kiss, a softer caress of his lips against yours, tasting sweeter than summer breeze, so achingly tender.

“There you go, bosorka moja…”

With his retreat, Steven ran his thumb over your cheek, smiling; then, he moved his injured hand into yours, leading you above the pot.

Slightly dazed and exasperated still, you sighed and carefully squeezed his wound to indeed only spare a drop of his precious blood.

As you pressed your lips to his fingertips in a thank you, you let your healing power flow through your touch, closing the cut your body should have worn.

“This had better be the only blood spilled today,” you whispered; and prayed too. You met your Steven’s stormy gaze as the contents of the pot sizzled, sweet coppery aroma rising in the air.

“It will, bosorka moja. It will.”

He sealed the deal with a kiss, sweet and desperate and bruising.

And falling on deaf ears, whisper in the crowns of the birch trees, his and your words echoed the very same song.

Blood had better be spilled…

Today, today, today…It will, it will, it will…

Next part

Other headcanon and playlist

S.R. masterlist - contains other knight!Steve fics, independent of this universe

Complete masterlist

Endearments used: Rytier moj (My knight) Bosorka moja (Witch mine) Láska moja (Love mine)

I hope you liked this - let me know your thoughts!

May your November be sweet and cosy ✨

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

Wow. What a night…

I went to an educational event at this local dungeon. I’ve been wanting to push myself in the kink lifestyle. It’s been a major goal of mine to do a public “scene” with another kinkster at a dungeon.

When there are dungeon events, there’s usually open “playtime” afterward, in the various rooms, where other kinksters can play, often in front of others. There’s usually no privacy. I knew that if I could be uninhibited and brave enough to have a scene at a dungeon event with another kinkster, I could be successful at being a professional fetish provider. This has been my goal. And I knew that tonight, I would have that opportunity. I didn’t want to shy away from it. I didn’t want to disappoint myself.

I came up on two obstacles, though. I invited these two other girls to the event. I regret that because it created the potential for me to be locked together with them the whole night, making it difficult to mix and mingle with other people!

But I purposely arrived earlier than them so I could have time to make new friends. When I arrived, looking adorable and beautiful, this old white guy immediately latched on to me. He was in love with my look and wasted no time asking if I would do a scene with him later.

We were locked in.

The demonstration part of the event was awkward because I invited my friends and I wasn’t giving her my full attention because this old dude kept talking to me. I do not think she was too offended. Our other friend arrived later anyway.

After the demos were over, the old white guy asked, “are you still in the mood [to do a scene]?” I wasn’t about to back out of that shit. This was my opportunity to prove to myself and everyone else that I’m a real kinkster!

Honestly, I really need to stop trying to show the world that “I’m about that life”. I need to stop seeking to “belong”. This project is about becoming a pro fetish provider making money. But my ego and self esteem are caught in the mix and, as I’ve told you guys before, I’m focusing on the wrong thing. It will take me a while to get past this…

Anyway, I was nervous but this old dude was so cool. I felt comfortable because HE was comfortable. He was comfortable and so easy in front of me and everyone else. We went into the dungeon room and he got undressed in front of me and whoever else was in the room. He got on top of the spanking bench and I pretended to know what I was doing…

I won’t go into too much detail but I think I did a decent job. I was walking around the bench the way that fetish performers do on stage (have you guys ever seen a flogging demonstration? You know how they slowly walk around their subject on stage? I did that shit too!!! 😂😂😂).

Yo, I’m such a fraud but I’m SO proud of myself!!! I am THAT… BITCH!

People were curiously watching us. Some pretended not to want to see what we were up to but you couldn’t help but notice. I had something to prove and I went to town on that sweet old man in front of this small crowd. There were lots of black women there too and I know they were also confused as to why I was spanking this old white dude. I did not care. I was the most relaxed I’ve EVER been in an incredibly awkward situation. I overcame my fear and did that shit like a fcking pro.

There’s just two things I wish I could have done differently: I need to train my mind to be a dominant. I was not with the protocol. I cleaned up the spanking bench when we were done when my BOTTOM should have cleaned it up. I should have let him do all the work!

Also, I took a photo with my bottom (the old dude) when that is against the rules of the dungeon. I felt like such a newb for violating the rules of the dungeon. Thank goodness that none of the dungeon masters caught me taking a photo. But there’s no way I’m letting this cool photo I took of us go to waste. I earned that photo, touching that old white dude. Fck that. I edited the photo so that it didn’t look like it was taken at the dungeon. I’ll wait a few weeks before posting it to my socials.

The old dude was actually wonderful, and INCREDIBLY sharp for a 71 year old! I hope he stays in touch with me.

Y’all, your girl done popped her dungeon cherry and went to the next level in kink. Throw some respeck on my name…

[tmwcs]

HUNNYYYY I’m here im present this reaction is long overdue I was supposed to send this yesterday but I was soo busy and the internet here is literally fcking up so bad that’s why I havent interacted IN A DAY can you believe it?!?! this is so unlike of me….BUT ANYWAYS IM HERE IM BACK HELLOO

p.s. this is very long sorry in advance 😚💗

first of all..the amount of flashbacks in this chapter is giving me so much joy I just immediately revert back to when heethan and readen were still “strangers” and seeing both his and her perspectives once again bcs it’s been a while since you’ve done one of these but aaaahhhhh my heart!!!!!! my precious lalovess 🥹🥹🥹

‘God damn she’s so beautiful….and she’s fucking all mine….’ STAAAAPPPPP this is giving me so much deja vu from the first chapters and smau’s (it’s a flashback in but still) 😭😭 reading heethan’s thoughts abt readen will ALWAYS give me the goosebumps it’s always got my heart doing fricking cartwheels dude I can feel the hee’s love for our readen goshhh it’s making me weaaakkk

“My glasses…”

“You wear glasses?”

“I used to….back in high school”

“You don’t anymore?”

“Nope…got a Lasik a while back…”

YESSSS I was wondering when we’d go to this topic again bcs of the last chapters and o m g green haired hee with those glasses?? an absolute nightmare it’s got me weaaakkk in the kneeessssss ESP WITH THE INSERTED GIF AND PIC STAAAPPP REI LULU’S HERE.

also p.s. I’m not even joking but my childhood stuffed toy that’s a grey elephant is named lulu….shut up😃💀

“They look good on you….who would have thought that someone would look better than me in my own glasses.” He chuckles.

“Stop, you’re overexaggerating.” You chuckled back.

ahh yes our still very humble readen as always..it’s part of her personality cus I swear with how rei’s describing her she is a literal goddess but still she’s humble af I love her sm my lovely (and overly humble) readen

“You’re a wonderment.” WAIT- THATS A NEW ONE 🤩🤩 HAVENT HEARD THAT ONE FROM HEETHAN BEFORE NO WAAYYY this is like way back but I guess new word unlocked hihi

stop. The fucking smut. holy shiiiiittttt that was probably the first time (?) where hee went Ethan mode while they’re doing it and it’s mfing hot

“No-no…..this is what you asked for riiiiight?……..Fucking let me eat you….let me feast on your skin……let me tear your body to pieces…..” GETTING HUGEEEEE DEJA VU from some chapters cus I literally cannot recall how many times heethan has said abt devouring readen and even more times on how he actually DID it…GODDAMN THIS IS HAWWWWTTTTT😵😵‍💫

Rei you don’t know how much I love all of the his and her perspectives from old chapters cus it just literally shows how much has happened already and how far this story has gone even though it’s only been twenty chapters I still remember when heethan would rant to himself in the smau’s and readen and him seeing each other the first time at Vicky’s dorm….staaappp 🥹🥹🥹

Heethsn’s perspective during THE iconic and will forever be remembered scene when everything unfolded that night….hee’s perspective is just absolute perfection AAWWHWWHHSNNDHEHESNHEHENNENS his thoughts and the way he thinks about her, the way he loves her it’s just something that’s out of this world and one that no one could understand EXCEPT readen. I love them.

“Let’s go pretty baby…..we got a plane to catch.” Okay let’s ignore the other dialogue in that scene for now but ITS HEREEE ITS FINALLY HAPPENING OH MY GOSHH 🥹

I’ve been waiting for chapters and chapters for heethan and readen’s “next” I guess let’s say journey together and when I tell you that I literally CANNOT WAAAIIIITTTT to see their life in Korea and all of the scenarios that could happen (and possibly smaus ;)” AAHHHH YAAAYYYY MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS HEETHAN AND READEN MWAAAAAAAA <33333

……………………..

"...That voice....Eden? Is that you? Whats going on? I'm so confused...and scared....what's happening? What is Ethan talking about?....He's Heeseung?.....what...then who is Ethan? Who was he all this time?"

"Y/n......"

"Yes?"

"..........run."

……uhm- what a great way to lighten the mood 😃😃

let’s just uhh ignore what I wrote before that uhm….so anyways-

I definitely think that as each chapter goes by heethan’s love for readen is becoming stronger and stronger and I just truly hope it doesn’t escalate to the fact that it’s uncontrollable anymore (REI DONT EVER DO THAT TO MY HEETHAN AND READEN 🤺🤺) but DUDE.

WOOOOHHHHH things are getting MOREE saucier and juicier and spicier‼️‼️‼️ OMFGG!! are we prepared for this rei? ARE WE??

but also BIATCHHH I KNOW YOU LOVE CLIFFHANGERS BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO END IT AT THE WORST ONE OF ALL “…….run.” LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT 😭😭😭

Honestly cannot wait for future chapters and this chapter 20 I just adoreeee because of the his & her perspectives, it’s POETRY 😩

Okay yes I’m sorry I wrote a lot of my thoughts and a bit less screaming rn so forgive me mother rei I’m a bit emotional on this chapter (and probably cus I wrote this while it’s shark week but anw)

Reina you better hit me up once you read this because with the way heethan and heebros are plaguing my mind ESPECIALLY after their new chapters I actually think I’m gonna go crazy unless I talk to someone so

THATS ALL HOPE YOU ENJOYED OUR TALK CUS I KNOW I DID 😘😘😘

i had to bump up in the line of hte asks bc i needed to respond to yours immediately lol!

giiiiiiirrrrrl the longer the asks/summaries of chapters, the better. Once i finish chapter 9 of MT, DT chapter 6 is next. and it is getting fire....just like you said.

oh girl, this last chapter of HHP.....i'm loving that you loved and emphasized the his and her perspectives, bc that is actually crucial. bc obviously......something is about to go down..lol....something going on with heethan but its never out of malicious intent, its all out of love. but that's why i put in his perspective, so everyone can see just how his thought process had been since the very beginning, bc in MGR and somewhat of MRE, he was very calm, quiet, and composed, but that was just bc he kept everything internal. HHP reflects his mindset and how he really views readen and how much he loves you.....like his obsession and infatuation just escalated from the moment he saw you and ...normally i'm not one for the "love at first sight tropes" although i can be if they are well done, but in this story, heethan def fell in love at first sight of readen, and his infatuation only grew more and....i mean, lets not all forget, he is yandere.....he may have started out a bit soft....but he just grew more and more insanely in love with readen (all those events like gabe, samuel, scot and tiff, and now this serial killer that stalked her) all of those contributed to his growing possessive streak and just made him more and more obsessed and yearning to protect her, so that's where we're at right now but it gets interesting. next chapter you'll see some more of like...how everything went down and what happens to our girl. she's fine. trust me she's fine. lol.

[honeygold-dew]

Responses to Autism Representation Regarding Extraordinary Attorney Woo

—from someone on the spectrum too!

I created this account to share my many thoughts about this drama (I’m usually a twitter user). I browsed through various platforms to see responses to the drama from both autistic voices and voices of those prominent in autistic lives (family, friends, etc.) and found that I have a lot I want to get off my chest.

I want to place a disclaimer here that these are just my thoughts and opinions. Not here to argue, I just want to share from my place in this conversation.

There are some points I found interesting that I want to discuss. This may be a hot take but I personally don’t think the character needs to mask to be considered more realistic, because autistic people who behave like Youngwoo exist in real life. I am friends with them, and I watch the drama alongside them. I have seen "realistic rep" used a lot and I feel it might be a problematic phrase in that sense, because as we repeatedly say that not all on the spectrum are the same (“if you’ve met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person”), I think it’s important to expect, in line that we are diverse and different, that not all autistic media will cater for our individual representation.

I feel this is the same for autistic people who mask and do not mask, because masking can sometimes be a social abuse trauma response (I know it definitely is in my case). Some people naturally do not mask just as some naturally do, so I do not consider a lack of masking to be a negative point in representation. Would it be a massive positive to have it included? Of course! I am saying this as an autistic person who relies on masking to function in society. I’d be fcking ecstatic to see this done well in an autistic character, and it would be wonderful to a big part of our community + help ease the stigma neurotypicals have around autism — but I don’t think it’s a thumbs down if it’s not a part of the character, either.

I also think it might be backhanded to call certain traits exaggerations in these reviews. Because, again, there are people who (in real life and who have expressed in online spaces) feel represented by Woo Youngwoo. There are people who outwardly behave like her. There are people seeing you say how they behave is not “realistic” enough for the autistic community.

I actually think it’s wonderful there’s a character like Woo Youngwoo who is being embraced for her traits. That her friends and family around her don’t make fun of her and see it as things Youngwoo does that makes her, simply, her. The her who they love and support.

With this in mind, I also don’t necessarily think stereotypes are something I would change. Stereotypes are definitely harmful in the sense that it can affect diagnosis and how other people treat and react to us, but there are still autists who match it. Autistic people in STEM is a stereotype, many complain it’s tired and needs to stop in media for better representation (and I agree, I’d love to see diversity), but I am also an autistic person in STEM who is simultaneously yet to feel represented by what’s in the media.

I don’t think the decomposing of the autistic character is what needs to change to have a good show involving autism — I think how it’s portrayed (cinematography, symbolism, writing), relevance and receiving from the audience would be the important part instead of the character simply being in the STEM field. The character could be involved in anything else and I would still call it bad if they were utilized in a bad way.

I’m viewing this show as I would view any other drama with neurotypical leads. Although an important part, I’m not measuring Youngwoo by her autism, because as an autistic person I know she is more than that. I am taking her in as a person who happens to navigate life with autism, instead of just an autistic vessel.

And one thing I genuinely feel, is that the drama did a great job at this. I feel like Youngwoo is a person to be enjoyed instead of an autistic character presented for pity votes. The drama shows her as a person, asks her why she feels the way she feels, instead of pushing that autistic is all she is. She’s not written as a walking guide to autism for allistics, she’s written as a person living her life in a job she likes with nice people around her (and even a sincere love interest!!! how cool is that!!!) and honestly? This is the best thing I could ever ask for.

Personally, I think the autistic person should be allowed to simply exist and live, as their person, *even* if that includes stereotypes. I don’t think they need to change, and frankly don’t want them to change to be seen as valid for the community. I want them to love and be loved no matter what the hell they present as. And since the problem is lack of representation — we’re a diverse community, I feel the answer here is more and more media with us diversely and naturally included, as we are included in everyday life. I want shows where autism isn’t the character’s entire role, I want shows where autistic media doesn’t need powerpoint presentations in their episodes to tell you hey, a bunch of us are different, because there’s so much healthy rep available it becomes general knowledge. I don’t want stories about one autistic person to be responsible for the handling of the entire autistic community, I want them to just live.

I sincerely hope I’m expressing myself right. Kindness is much appreciated.

[sunflvwerx]

a more detailed overview of the characters’ reactions to you skipping their banners for someone else !

characters / / venti, klee, childe, zhongli, albedo, ganyu, xiao, keqing, hu tao, eula, kazuha, ayaka, yoimiya, raiden shogun, kokomi | gn!reader [platonic]

warnings : slight spoilers for inazuma’s chapter + some swearing

author’s note : another version of this will be written later (i dont know when i’ll finish) which will be their reruns, and on their second (or third considering childe) the reader will wish for them :D

kokomi’s part takes place before the end of inazuma’s third chapter

venti wasn’t very enthusiastic upon knowing you were planning on skipping his banner for someone else instead, though he understood why and didn’t let the thought ruin his day completely; he did have a lot of other players that had been wishing for him. despite his almost carefree attitude on the though, he still silently hoped that your encounters with him with other players or during the story could hopefully convince you enough to wish on his banner, and from then on, he could be on your side. as he waited, a collection of cecilias were waiting for your arrival with him.

klee was saddened by the news of you skipping her promoted banner for the newer character that would be released after her. she didn’t understand why you didn’t want her to be by your side, but she knew that she probably wasn’t able to change your views on wishing for another character. fish blasting on her own and going to solitary confinement some time after, she wishes that the two of you could one day spend your days and adventures together.

almost unfazed by the thought, childe had brushed off the news and then moved on rather quickly, though this emotionless reaction had hid the melancholy he had felt knowing you were planning on wishing for someone else instead. despite the awful feeling that churned inside him and the thoughts of what he could’ve done wrong, he escaped to fighting and training, hoping that if he gets stronger, you could change your mind and press the button to wish on his banner, despite what he would’ve done that you hadn’t yet realized.

understanding and almost unmovable, zhongli had little arguments against your choice of not wanting him on your team although if you did invite him, he would talk about osmanthus wine when he’s not telling a story. while he respects why you chose to not have him on your team to travel throughout teyvat, he does want to one day join you on your adventure and share his many stories with you, and to create new memories under a shield of jadeite.

albedo: tHE FCKING AUDACity-

albedo himself wasn’t very surprised nor emotionally changed, but he did feel slightly disappointed at you for not wanting to have him on your team, and so this had led to him second-guessing himself and hesitating a bit more than he naturally would. was it something about him, or something he did? he didn’t have the answers nor the time to seek them, and so had proceeded onwards, hoping that the changes he made could also change your perspective on him. 

it didn’t bring her down too much, but ganyu still felt like it had been her own fault that you didn’t want to wish for her. this did cause her a fair amount of stress, but she didn’t want to feel like it was completely her fault and her doing that caused you to not want her by your side, and so took a break, one of the first times in a while. in the future, she believes that she can make a difference for the two of you and for you to let her be an avid follower on your side.

xiao was completely indifferent and unchanged by your reaction to his banner; mortals had their own time and decisions, and he had wanted little to intervene with unless it had been related to combat. still, if you were to turn around and had the wish for him to join your team, he would still be waiting, in the same spot that he had started in. be it at wangshuu inn or at the stone peaks that towered over the clouds, he would devote himself into helping you rid of the monsters that had roamed around liyue.

keqing wasn’t moved very much by the thought, though it didn’t surprised her either as many others had the same mindset as you. while she made herself move onwards, it felt like a burden had been weighing her down from you not wanting to wish for her, and that it was by her doing that made you do this. despite her doubts and setbacks, she continued working, hard as ever, and still hoped for the day that she could finally join you in a unforgettable journey throughout the world.

hu tao was still as playful as ever despite the choice you had decided, if it was your decision, she would respect it. it also meant more time for planning what she would do as a gift for inviting her to your team! she didn’t have too much time beforehand, and so began a rather long intermission time for her to prepare miniature gifts for you as a way of thanks. although she was a bit disappointed knowing that you didn’t want her to be on your side right now, she would still wait until the time you would decide to welcome her as part of your team.

to eula, this was something that you would have to pay for, and although she didn’t mean it in a literal way, she wasn’t very happy knowing that you didn’t want to have her on your team. she did, however, hold you at a considerably high amount of respect as you were one of the few people that took their own time to look into her past and knew how different it was from her family’s history instead of attempting to only call her out and hold her at a bad view only from her being a descendant of the lawrence clan. if you made the decision to allow her to fight by your side, she would honor the opportunity and fight alongside you against your enemies.

carried to him by the wind, kazuha had known and understood your choice, and did not try to oppose you in your decision. set back by nothing that would have weighed him down, he did hope that it wasn’t someone or something that had been keeping you from wishing for him, and that it had been by your mindset on his promoted banner. as he continued to wander about in nature, and be it by the thundering lightning that illuminates the brilliance of inazuma or by the calm guidance of the wind, he travels aimlessly, hoping that one day the two of your paths could converge into one.

as the shirasagi himegimi of the kamisato clan, ayaka couldn’t help but to partly blame herself for being unable to follow you in your travels. perhaps it was because of something she did, or it had been her stature that made it look like she wasn’t easy to approach. nevertheless, after being comforted and reassured that it wasn’t anything of her ability that she had done to made you not wish for her, she continued to strive forward, hoping that a day could come where she can enjoy a leisure yet unforgettable journey with you.

as joyful as she was, yoimiya was rather discontent realizing you didn’t desire to have her on your team during your journey, but she could understand why you would choose so. while she was still slightly disheveled from the news, she continued on with the production of fireworks, as the summer festival was soon dawning on them and she would not cease the satisfaction she brought to her customers and the satisfaction she felt seeing their happy expressions. no matter, even if she wasn’t on your team to travel with, the fireworks that she would create especially for you would always burn brighter and higher than the rest, a symbol of her gratitude.

“insolent.” that had been the raiden shogun’s first words of the news. however, despite her unchanged view on everything else, ei was impacted a little more than the puppet. despite the slight weight the though had put on her, she continued to press onwards, both her and the puppet. even then, she knew more of the effects of erosion and the impact of loss, so once the day dawns that she exits the eternal and brilliant land of inazuma with the blade that was handed down to her by makoto, she wishes that you will leave neither of them behind, neither her nor the puppet.

to say the least, kokomi herself wasn't too affected by the news, although her status as priestess and leader of the island and resistance felt as if something sharped had pierced through it. despite the slightly hard feelings, she continued on nevertheless, and now with each battle she leads, she would be fighting for you, even if you weren't physically on her side. as the time passed without you, she had since been preparing a welcome gift for you if you had wanted to join her cause for the future of inazuma

[beetles-and-leeches]

Ranking the courtiers

The other ranking surprisingly got a response so here's more of my dumb dumb thoughts on these bitches

1. Valdemar

Do I even have to explain?

I am, in fact, a filthy shameless monsterlover

This sharp-toothed bastard can take my organs anytime. I'll consider it a selfless service from them

Horrifically uncanny, witty, cryptic, makes dark jokes and doesn't give a shit about death (because it kind of is death). Dream partner

A walking eldritch horror

Feels like an avatar from The Magnus Archives

Yes I know they are ace I just love them as a character concept and as a monster

They are the most scary element in the whole game and I'm thankful for them. I need fear to survive

Yo tengo un caballo verde que hace piruetas-

2. Valerius

I'm in love with them since Nadia's route

He bLUSHES

The perfect villain that is actually competent and intimidating but still hasn't done enough damage to be irredemable (yes this is me still being mad about Lucio. Get used to it)

Heaven is a tea party with him and the Hiperophant

Long hair man hell yeah

Honestly the corrupted sprite is pretty fcking attractive

3. Volta

Baby. Soft. Must protect. Pure

Yes I am also starving 24/7 let's team up and eat the world like that one flash game with the grey goop thing

I have this headcanon of her being a starving child when she made the deal so any ships with her seem weird to me

That one part in I don't remember who's route where she just clings to Julian, baby

4. Vlastomil

I just really like bugs

PLEASE take me to your estate to see your worm collection and tell me their names. That's all I'm here for

Seems like talking to him would be very entertaining just for the way he expresses overall

5. Vulgora

Too intimidating for me

Like they're a cool and fun character and all but if I actually met someone who yells like that I'd just run away crying

My moral side says you should never solve your problems through violence. My chaotic side says hell yeah arson

[psychewritesbs]

Your analysis of Nine and Twelve was great! Thank you so much :) You seemed to really enjoy answering the last question so if I may, can I ask about your thoughts on Lisa? She gets so much hate on the internet that I frankly don’t think she deserves. In my opinion she’s the most tragic character of them all.

Also, do you believe Lisa has an eating disorder? It’s a fan theory that has some traction, the most damning evidence being that she threw her food in the toilet and nearly retched the second her mom texted her asking if her lunch was good.

First, sorry it’s taken this long to publish my response. I started writing this response back when you first asked, and then I did not like what I had written. In situations like that I like to create distance from my work so I stepped away from the draft and only got back to it today.

Second, thank you ♥️🙇🏻‍♀️✨. I did totally enjoy writing my response bahaha. I had wanted to write about Zankyou after I finished re-watching it this last time, but had not gotten around to it yet because I had a million other essays I am either working on or want to write. When your ask came through it was the perfect excuse to nerd out on an anime that I absolutely love.

Just like with your previous question, I had no opinion on the matter. After I went back looking at scenes with Lisa, I have to say that while I can see why she’s disliked, I very much agree with you. Lisa’s character is very nuanced and very quiet, just like she is.

You can expect word vomit in defense of Mishima Lisa under the cut...

In defense of Mishima Lisa

From my perspective, Lisa isn’t a deuteragonist or supporting character, but rather one of the protagonists playing an equally important role as Nine and Twelve. 

In a sense, you could say Zankyou is told from her perspective as the anime ends with her voice, which is an important part of the story and her character arc, narrating how she was affected by her involvement with Nine and Twelve.

An involvement that begins with Lisa declaring with conviction to Nine “shinitakunai!”--I don’t want to die, in the first episode. To which Nine tells her that from the resonance of the sound of her voice he assumes she must be standing in one of the stairways. 

What Nine was referring to in that moment was the terror in Lisa’s voice resonating in the stairway. A terror which, in episode 9, Lisa faces, thus leading to her accepting her own mortality.

Seriously Watanabe. What a fcking genius.

In a nutshell, Lisa is the best of both Nine and Twelve. She is the third element introduced into an otherwise soulless duo.

If Nine is the brain/mind of the operation and Twelve is the body/heart, then, like the other Watanabe heroines in their respective trio, Lisa is the soul.

Watanabe and finding harmony in 3′s

After my last post, I thought it was interesting that Watanabe’s heroines are actually different character tropes. Where all of the males in his stories stick to the same tropes for the most part, he seems to explore different tropes through the females.

Faye Valentine is a ditzy femme fatale.

Fuu is cute, spirited and feisty with zero sex appeal compared to Faye.

And then there’s Lisa...

I have to admit that upon first impression Lisa appears to be a pushover and a very meek person. I am inclined to say this is done on purpose because of the character development she experiences throughout the show. Character development that, as I mentioned earlier, is incredibly nuanced and quiet--so much so that it is easy to miss.

This is what makes Watanabe a genius in my eyes. The way he shows Lisa’s character development is so in character with who she is.

Compared to Watanabe’s other heroines, Lisa is understated, she messes up royally, and is pretty much “useless”. It’s, really, no wonder she’s not popular with the fandom. 

Whether others like her or not is, of course, a matter of personal opinion. Having re-watched her scenes, however, I have to say that, out of the Watanabe heroines I have seen up until now, I personally really like her the most for the same reason Zankyou is my favorite Watanabe anime--to me she’s the most human one.

But before I gush on and on about Lisa, let’s talk about your other question.

Does Lisa have an eating disorder?

Maybe?

You could say it is implied that she has an eating disorder because she threw away her bento. However, I am reluctant to jump on board that train because we only see this happen once. 

For example, Nine is constantly telling Twelve not to get too involved with Lisa--thus implying Nine knows Twelve well enough to have to continuously remind him not to get involved. This is a pattern. Lisa throwing away her food is not a pattern.

I am more inclined to believe that Lisa felt grossed out by the food because her mom was the one who cooked it. The act of throwing the food away was in itself symbolic of Lisa’s desire to create much needed boundaries and reject her mother’s toxic behavior. 

By flushing her food down the toilet, perhaps Lisa felt like she could just flush her mom down the toilet--this behavior of running away from her troubles is consistent with Lisa’s character.

That being said, to me, it also looked like Lisa feeling sick was a visceral reaction as though the food was itself disgusting and not necessarily because she is bulimic. Also, if I remember correctly (and I could be totally wrong), behaviorally, bulimics only barf after having eaten and Lisa did not even touch her food.

All of these thoughts got me wondering about what else Watanabe would be implying through this scene. All I could think of was that perhaps Lisa’s mother uses food to manipulate her or something along those lines. Since Lisa can’t cook to save her life, I wonder whether her mom was trying to keep her dependent on her as much as possible so that Lisa would not abandon her--her mother’s fear of abandonment is another pattern. 

Of course, this is just speculation on my behalf.

But I only thought about this because I thought it was really interesting that the bento box was super cute and beautifully organized. It was like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise depressing bathroom stall. 

For that reason, I can’t say with 100% certainty whether she does or doesn’t have an eating disorder. I’d call it 50/50. 

However, I am personally more inclined to think Watanabe meant to show how toxic the mother/daughter relationship is and how Lisa is trying to separate herself from it.

“Meek means being powerful without taking action”

(Source--I did not actually read the article but felt like the quote is on point with what I want to say about Lisa).

To me, Lisa is someone whose kindness gets confused for weakness. She is quiet, submissive, soft spoken and timid--all characteristics that, at least in the west, are looked down upon. 

Again, compared to the other Watanabe heroines, Lisa appears to be the kind of person who is bullied and does not stand up for herself. Unlike Faye and Fuu, Lisa appears to be a bystander in her own life rather than an active participant.

The first time we see her she is being bullied by her classmates. But far from being someone who does not stand up for herself, I see Lisa as actually trying to have some agency in her dilemma.

For one, I thought it was interesting she was barefoot. Meaning, either the bullies let her take her shoes off, or there was some pre-meditation on her behalf that went into this moment. I am assuming she knew she was outnumbered and would be pushed into the swimming pool, and thus decided to take off her socks and shoes.

Second, when Twelve intervenes, her response is that she was the one who decided to jump into the pool with her clothes on because of the hot weather. To me, the way she voices this shows that she is trying to have some agency over what is happening to her.

Like, “ok these girls are bullying me, but I am choosing to go along with it of my own free will because I am outnumbered.”

The problem with her mentality is that it does not get the bullies off her back. Rather, it keeps her stuck in a vicious, toxic cycle of co-dependence. Just like with her mom.

That is why I see Lisa as someone who just wants to be left alone to live her life in peace. It is other people’s agency that get in the way of her desire. Whether she is getting bullied at school, or whether her mom is trying to control her, someone is always infringing upon her boundaries and she does not quite know  how to enforce them other than by running away. 

Running away and locking herself up, as we see happen multiple times throughout the series, is the little bit of reprieve she gets from the problems in her life.

Funny enough, just as she is wishing for everyone to disappear while hiding in the bathroom, the lights turn off in the government building. 

Because of this, I can see how she saw this as a sign that Nine and Twelve could save her from her life. Ironically, as we all know, she basically gets dragged into their conflict and nearly dies because of it.

This girl just can’t seem to catch a break. 

When Nine gives her the choice to join them, he tells her “you can’t go back” (modorenai). These words scare her because she intuitively knows them to be true--she will no longer be able to go back to who she used to be.

I think that Lisa choosing to run away from home marks the beginning of this change in her. 

Running away from home was another attempt to assert some sort of agency over her life. Ironically, as was to be expected, she came to realize just how helpless she truly is as she aimlessly wanders the streets of Tokyo before Twelve, who has been stalking her, finds her.

In her helplessness she fantasizes about someone coming to save her from her life and her decisions. This is totally the worst thing she could want for because it means she has actually regressed and is still stuck in co-dependent dynamics.

That co-dependent dynamic is now with Twelve. 

Enter the glorious motorcycle scene.

I just love this scene so much because both Twelve and Lisa are caught up in this gorgeous fantasy in which Twelve gets to be both a normal teenager with a crush and a Knight in Shining Armor, while Lisa gets to be his fair lady. 

Together, they share a moment of freedom from the matters that weigh them down in their lives.

Unfortunately for them, the reality of the matter is that Twelve is keenly aware of his mortality and Lisa is getting dragged along into a situation beyond her very human aspirations.

Lisa, the best of Nine and Twelve

I can’t say with 100% certainty what Watanabe’s intentions were, but I have to wonder whether we are meant to like Lisa at the beginning.

Like... to be disliked (at least initially) could be the point of her character. 

Why do I think that? 

I am not sure whether you read the Jujutsu Kaisen manga, but there are a couple of characters the fandom loves to hate while missing the point that we are meant to dislike them by design. 

One of these characters is a girl who is rather weak-minded. The fandom hates her actions because, to be fair, they are quite despicable when you have no context or don’t understand the nuance of her character. Nuance which Gege Akutami, the mangaka, feeds you in small increments as the story progresses.

I feel like this method of writing characters is very Watanabe-like. 

Seeing as, again, Lisa is very likely meant to bring harmony to Nine and Twelve’s dynamic as a third character, to me, in addition to bringing out the best in them, she also represents the best of both Nine and Twelve. 

However, we can only appreciate this nuance as the story progresses and she interacts with them.

Twelve sees Lisa’s hope

When it comes to Twelve, he is attracted to her for two reasons: Her eyes remind him of the eyes of the kids at the institution, and her voice’s color is a pale yellow.

If you noticed, compared to Nine, Twelve wears a lot of yellow, which is very fitting with his character being cheerful. So I thought it was interesting that a character like Lisa who had been depicted as meek from the start, would have a voice that is pale yellow as Twelve says she does.

Yellow is typically associated with hope (von)/optimism, brightness, warmth, and happiness (just to name some of the color’s positive traits). Traits I don’t think many of us would associate with Lisa’s personality. But that’s only because Twelve can see something in her voice that we can’t--her emotional self. 

When you look at Lisa through the lens of the color yellow, even if it’s a pale yellow, you start to see Lisa as someone whose actions are driven by hope and optimism.

Everything from being willing to jump into the pool with her clothes on, to running away from her home, to volunteering to help Nine and Twelve, is fueled by Lisa’s hope and optimism.

The fact that her voice is pale yellow might symbolize that she struggles to remain hopeful in the face of what she experiences in her daily life both at school and home. Her hope might wane, but she remains hopeful non the less.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in the Ferris wheel scene, Von is playing in the background. In fact, the Ferris wheel scene is a stark contrast from the fantasy that Twelve and Lisa were living just a few episodes prior.

The Ferris wheel scene is the culmination of the consequences that Twelve and Lisa have to pay for their actions in the real world. Lisa has to pay for her clumsiness, while Twelve has to pay for getting Lisa involved.

To me, the Ferris wheel itself represents the merry go round of life. Twelve and Lisa happen to find themselves climbing near the highest point of the Ferris wheel as the situation reaches its climax.

The situation is dire. We know from the dialogue that, unlike in the motorcycle scene, there is no way that Twelve can save Lisa with the time remaining. Twelve does not get to be a Knight, and Lisa is no fair lady.

And yet Von is playing in the background underscoring how even in the darkest of winter nights, as Von’s lyrics say:

Where something grows there is hope. All that heals hold hope. From shackles of ice she emerges. From a cold sky she crawls.

I did not finish looking into it in depth, but I thought it was interesting that Twelve’s fake name, Hisami Touji, has the kanji for “winter” in it. Seeing as the Japanese give meaning to their names with kanji symbols, I have to wonder what Twelve was trying to communicate when he chose that specific kanji that represents winter (冬) to depict the specific phonetic sound in the syllable “tou” for “Toji”. 

In other words, Twelve could have used other kanji with the phonetic sound for “tou” like the kanji for tower (塔) or sugar (糖) just to name a few.

I think this speaks to this whole idea behind Von being about hope breaking through in bleak situations, and fits rather well with Twelve’s character. We think of Twelve as a happy-go-lucky kid, but as I wrote in my last analysis of the character, he is quite vicious too. 

To me, his fake name having the kanji for winter adds a new dimension to Twelve’s character. He’s not the happy kid he pretends to be, He is a human who struggles to find hope and meaning and acts cheerful and remains hopeful in spite of his existential angst.

And perhaps that is why he wants to connect with Lisa so badly. Twelve has found in Lisa a kindred spirit. Someone who, in spite of her circumstances, continues to hope. 

Honestly, in retrospect, I feel like I am only scratching the surface of the symbolism of Twelve’s character, Lisa’s character, Von, how Von brought them together, and the growth they both experience as a result.

But, to quote this one Twitter user who so eloquently said...

“Terror in Resonance. Von. Ferris wheel. God tier moment.”

It is in episode 9, as I mentioned earlier, that Lisa shows us how much she’s grown. She owned up to her mistakes, acknowledged that Nine and Twelve have an important mission that she had no business getting involved in, and accepted her mortality. 

After all she has gone through, this is her bravest moment yet.

This is a Lisa that is taking agency over her life and destiny instead of getting dragged around by other’s agendas. Just like in the pool scene, she is asserting her agency over the situation but on a whole new level.

And just like Twelve was inspired by her response when he first met her, Twelve is inspired again by her resolution. 

If you watch the scene again (because why wouldn’t you want to watch it again?), when Lisa tells Twelve to leave her behind, Twelve starts moving faster and more desperately as though her words, her hope in this hopeless situation makes it all the more important that he save her.

All is silent, hope ignites.

But I like to think that having heard Twelve’s confession “ore wa...”, Lisa found the acceptance and connection she did not know she had been longing for.

This, in turn, gave her the inner-peace and inner-strength to save herself for once. Twelve might be the one who gets her out of the situation, but even with a bomb tied to her chest, Lisa is finally free.

Nine sees Lisa’s hope too

So I wrote my notes for this answer a few weeks ago and can’t quite put into words this dynamic right now. 

Heck... even reading my chicken scratch wasn’t easy 😂😂.

I would have to go re-watch their interactions and I am kind of short of time and really want to publish this essay. So I am going to do my best here...

Read all that to mean: I did not pay as much attention to Nine and Lisa’s dynamic because I shamelessly love Twelve and Lisa’s dynamic. Watanabe has a tendency to create romantic tension between two of the characters in the trio and my favorite Watanabe pairing is Twelve and Lisa. 

In fact, I have to wonder whether I ended up writing about the Twelve + Lisa dynamic more than about Lisa but... honestly, I am not sure I could write about Lisa without writing about how Twelve (or Nine for that matter) changed her.

In the words of my mentor, Carl G. Jung:

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed” - Carl Jung, Modern Man in Search of Soul.

BUT, if I remember correctly, Twelve was very much interested in using Lisa to help Nine process some of his trauma around having abandoned Five.

While Nine was initially reluctant to accept Lisa, always reasoning that nothing good can come for anyone who gets involved with them, he eventually opens up to her.

I am not sure that Nine also saw Lisa’s hope in the same way that Twelve saw it, but I like to think he was impressed by her determination to not back down even in the face of danger.

If you recall, Twelve tells Lisa that Nine is a sadist. I am generalizing here but sadistic characters typically have an incredibly vulnerable side to them. Their sadism is thus a defense mechanism to protect that vulnerability from getting hurt.

“If I hurt you first, you can’t hurt me”.

In a sense you could say Lisa softens Nine. 

Above all, I have to say that I believe that Twelve walking away from the operation to knowingly walk into a trap to save Lisa was a chess move that Nine had not predicted. This in turn must have shocked him to the core and helped him to re-think the situation.

Nine, Twelve and Lisa in a nutshell

Despite saying she wants for everyone to disappear, what Lisa truly wants is to be accepted and to belong. Like Nine and Twelve, she is experiencing the poignant and very human desire to belong and be remembered/cherished for the mere fact of existing--something she does not have at either school or home but found with Twelve and Nine.

That is why I see Zankyou no Terror as a story about human connection first, and second as a story about two teenage boys blowing sh1t up.

In the end, Lisa is a very human character interacting with two practically superhuman teenage boys. As such, I dare say she makes them both more human. Twelve gets to have a normal teenage boy experience with her, while Nine gets to face his inner demons and open up.

They all grow each other in one way or another.

But more importantly, as someone who is always thinking through a Depth Psychology lens, I personally think that not liking Lisa is also a rejection of our own inadequacies.

Why? Because to me, liking Lisa as a character means accepting yourself as a flawed human. As I mentioned before, she is one hell of a flawed human and I have to admit that as such she balances Twelve and Nine rather well.

How different would Zankyou be if she was a badass like Faye or spunky like Fuu? 

One last random treat

So with all of the controversy surrounding the Cowboy Bebop live action I started consuming Cowboy Bebop content on Youtube. 

Lo and behold the following scene from Faye’s past...

I can’t say Faye Valentine attended the same high school as Lisa with 100% certainty, but their uniforms sure look similar. 

I don’t think this symbolizes anything important in particular. 

I am just sharing this because I love it when authors drop little Easter eggs like this with characters from one series making a cameo in another. In this case, the school uniforms are very similar.

Anyways! Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts too!!

p.s. I have to say I loved writing this one even more than Nine and Twelve’s analysis. 

[katherinemorningstar]

OK, now because of a random tiktok I just saw, I got why I am sooo alone and why it has been like that all my life. Let me give you context, the girl of this video talk´s about being a Manic pixie dream girl, I´ve never heard that tag 4 a personality stereotype before, however, it turns to be a type of girl who only aim in her life is to give the main character a life message or be his impossible crush but his temporally girlfriend too but is always an idealize character created for man (dream girl part) the MANIC part is because this girl have got trauma or mental disorder, an eccentric personality and explosive energy, it was weird cause I got all of them, the PIXIE is because of the way of her style, that remind the boys a "fairy" it´s kinda dumb, social girl and cute but not necessarily girly. By this time I could only think about Ramona Flowers and why people allways find the way to say I am like her or any other cartoon child, like Mabel or Star Butterfly, this always make me feel uncomfortable, and then I read the GIRL part is because it is a childishly personality, I found it gross because sounds like pdophilia. she is also into "weird" or alt music, and this things ike "not all the other girls" but not as much as the pickme girls, this "perfect" middle point not too girly but not to much like male.

As I said before the ONLY aim of this girl is to be an accesory for a man in character development, give him really important life advices and that stuff, but when that is done, she disappears and let the man "free" and better to get the perfect girl with no mental issues and get a better life or that shit.

I AM THAT GIRL and I had no fucking idea about it, and I literally HATE IT.

I wish I was loved and not just a temporally wise traumatized girl, but every fcking thing I´ve ever had with a boy I like, turns this way, no matters how much I try to be better, I am just a PHASE for their growness, who help them to be better, but they can´t stay whith me.

I´m dying.

[hezuart]

That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

:3

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

~

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.