#she was also fcking done on her part

[iamhereinthebg]

Gonna share badly translated panels from the official french translation because I can

I can’t verbally explain how much Akane ROASTED Aoi in chap 69 . He really took the ‘I am gonna end this woman’s whole career” to a next level

:))))

--> to explain the ‘you’re pretending you don’t know’

[felixora]

"Anders as Spirit of Freedom" DA concept

Original idea

A DISCLAIMER

Every one of you who'll bear with me and read this till the end — I love you, you're precious to me, thank you.

And this is NOT canon, simply my fan work.

(Also there's more new art in this post)

Now back to the topic

This idea was born from:

a question "If a spirit can become mortal, can a mortal become a spirit?"

and another concept that "connection to the Fade is like a bridge with a door that everyone has, but only mages can open" Ordinary people cannot open the door. Mages can open said door and enter the Fade. Ordinary tranquility puts a wall instead of a door (which can be reversed) And tranquility from Red Templars breaks the fcking bridge all together.

We all know that Anders escapes Kirkwall (if he's alive) and for some time travels with mages before leaving them due to animosity. Well, in this concept he goes on the run, hiding from the Seekers, templars, anyone who wants him dead.

This goes for a couple of years. The Breach happens, Ancient Magister comes and falls, Inquisition triumphs. And Anders is still on the run. Until one day his luck runs off. He was hiding in a small mountain village, when a squad of Red Templars came by, trying to force villagers to work in lyrium mines.

Some men tried to fight back and chaos ensued, during which Anders considered running away once again. But, as he was stealthily leaving the village, Anders noticed a group of villagers trying to run away, while being pursued by Templars.

Impulsively, Anders made an effort to divert attention from the running villagers, but as a result, he was captured himself. A few of the Templars were from Kirkwall, and they recognized Anders from that fateful day in the city.

Instead of killing the mage they decided to punish him in a different way – by making him tranquil and leaving him by their side in servitude. And neither Anders nor Justice could do anything against it at the time. And so, Anders was completely cut off from the emotional side of the world and Justice became trapped inside him.

While all of that was going on – someone was also looking for Anders.

An ancient elven being, Libera, the last Spirit of Freedom (though bound to mortality and broken by Ghilan'nain) woke up from her slumber thanks to a happy coincidence that was the Kirkwall appraising — Anders' scream for liberation.

And she searched for the one who screamed in this new world, on her travels recruiting mage students to pass on her teachings and involve them in her goals of freeing her own people. Until a long year after Anders was captured, she finally found him.

After dealing with all the Red Templars, she and her students approached the few Tranquil mages, and Libera knew it was Anders when she saw him. She called out to Justice, who were woke up to her presence, and asked if they want to make things right for Anders – to do him justice

And the spirit agreed. Libera took the spirit from Anders and broke it into pure energy that she then used to rebuild Anders’ connection to the Fade. And just as that, Anders returned to himself and Justice was no more.

However, nothing was well and done. When Anders came to his senses in the camp of his saviours, he was distraught by the loss of his friend, especially when he learned that it was to save his life.

Memories of yearlong torment by Templars were flowing into his head, making him relive it now with full understanding of what had happened. Not to mention the overwhelming guilt over events in Kirkwall and mage uprising that he now felt full force without Justice.

And through it all, Libera was by his side, helping him to slowly get back on his feet and fight the pain of the past years.

She had her own motives, of course. Now Anders carried spiritual energy, making him part spirit with a possibility of more. A perfect vessel to be moulded into a Spirit of Freedom. But for that, the mage needed to let go of the pain and willingly step on this spiritual path.

So, Libera took Anders in as her student, helping him to deal with his trauma and guilt, while teaching him and others magic. She showed him how to reverse tranquility with his affinity to spirit magic, how to traverse the Fade as a spirit and inspire desire for freedom in others

While Libera helped Anders to make him a full-fledged spirit, others (like Varrick, Fenris, other students in Libera’s circle) helped him find purpose and will to live as a mortal. To make him remember all the good he brought in the lives of so many, not just pain and suffering.

.

.

. Anyone who will call me out on putting Anders through more trauma and literal hell — is absolutely right, and I have no objections. Still love him though.

[ultimategenshintournament]

Ultimate Genshin Tournament: Finals

Propaganda below cut

Arlecchino:

Hot Evil Woman.

#the duality of arlecchino is so well done #Also her design is insanely attractive (via @rinrinlovee)

#women driven by their own agenda #implied to be fucking insane #people were disappointed she didn't actually kill the kids in her story but listen #that would make her no better than dottore #she's a bad bitch she refuses to run the house on anyone’s terms but her own #i love morally grey characters guys #arle has mystery and intrigue there is no telling what her next move might be #and she has her fair share of tragic yuri #the fact that she is harsh #that there is inherent immorality in her character since she trains orphans to be child soldiers #but the fact that she still cares deeply for her charges #and arle thinks the doctor is despicable and refuses to make deals with him #except one that allowed her to set the children free to take their own path #like i cannot emphasize enough how much depth is in her character #freminet reports that she doesnt like when the children cry #but she still brought him back an emblem of his mother #and told him the truth about why he is in the House #in fact she's deeply appalled when she finds out he's been lied to and told his mother no longer wanted him #she is incredibly perceptive and forward thinking #and fine ill say it shes hot #and she's ridiculously powerful #in her boss fight we dont even kill her. we don't even come close #she was just entertaining us as a test #also i really enjoy a character who can suffer such tragedy and carry it with her in her life #but then is afforded the agency to make it better for herself and everyone who comes after #no child will die for wanting to choose their future #wanderer saying that those who have seen through her cordial facade have disappeared #like how can you NOT be interested in her #i want to know desperately what her grand plan is #i think we as a fanbase moved on way too quickly from the fact that teenage arlecchino #KILLED A FUCKING HARBINGER #also the question of where is arle actually from still remains #what exactly *is* she? (via @stormyrainyday)

Furina:

girl deserves therapy and hugs and the best life in the WORLD because she went through a lot!!!! wouldn't pretending to be a god for 500 years with no support mess you up? and yet she still kept on going for her people!! she wanted to save her nation from a doomsday prophecy and she DID

After act 5 she deserves the world :(

“If all the people of Fontaine are on one side, and I am on the other…is it not obvious where the scales of suffering should tilt?” NO IT ISNT YOU’RE JUST ABNORMALLY SELFLESS AND INCREDIBLE AND PERSISTENT. Even the Archons praise Furina’s name and say she is a human with strength and capability worthy of an Archon. That’s not even to speak of Focalors. She snapped at Arlecchino when she implied that Furina had done nothing to preserve her people from the flood. Meanwhile every minute she was working to prevent the prophecy. A month after we took her to court and almost got her killed she agreed to help us direct a play, a favor for a favor

Guys, she deserves to win. She endured 500 years of torment and suffering. No hope in sight, just the knowledge that a trial, any trial, might signal the start of her life as herself. She sacrificed herself again and again: her reputation before the people of Fontaine, her happiness during the 500 years of her rule, and her very own divinity. Her trailer is literally just her worst nightmare coming to life. She is finding the joy in life again, slowly. Let’s be a part of that joy. Vote Furina!!!! 

Your honor, they're married and Arlecchino would want her wife to win.

HAVE YOU SEEN HER? SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL OH MY GOSH AND HER VOICEEEEE MY QUEEN MY GODDESS MY EVERYTHING WE NEED TO HAVE HER WIN THIS SHE IS SO PRETTY

she literally gave up her entire sense of self and sacrificed everything just to save Fontaine… all without ever knowing that she was the human side of the archon. She did everything because of her own sense of justice, because of her love for the people, because even she had to do her all for a chance for them to live on. Furina is the perfect example of what a leader should be, while also being so so very fragile and just…so very human. needless to say, Furina is perfect through being imperfect. So she absolutely deserves this win FURINA SWEEP REAL!!!

she managed to fool an entire nation and even the hydro dragon for 500 years. She literally put up the greatest act in all of history. All for one singular goal. The survival of Fontaine. And what did she give? Everything. Her soul. Her life. She is the epitome of the most amazing character design. And so she absolutely deserves this win!!

she literally was almost assassinated by the one she is up against right now. She literally almost was killed by arle. Literally WHY would you let arle win over our beloved queen Furina? Furina is a victim who is suffering trauma from her. She deserves the win more than arle! Payback for arle traumatizing sweet, innocent Furina…!!!!!

(image via @deityofhearts)

[mrspark7777777]

https://www.tumblr.com/mrspark7777777/730435580873342976/httpstwittercomdailyjmthvstatus1709569065394?source=share

really anon??

i'm sorry but as an army and a fearnot, pls shut the actual fck up

they're under the same label (hybe)

he commented laughing under a tiktok of her viral moment (https://x.com/elsserafim/status/1692180175516291286?s=20) where she messed up her speaking part during their song 'fire in the belly', MANY other idols have made fun of it or referenced it, in fact most of south korea has as well, it's a meme at this point, which we know jk loves to make fun and reference things (jimin, g dragon, namjoon, basically all of bts lol, k dramas, ect)

he's a fan of music in general and likes gg songs. also boy is basically a tokki (new jeans fan) and would not surprise me if he was a fearnot (le sserafim fan), he played fearless (their debut single) in his camping vlog, he was asked to sing antifragile many times (including by namjoon, who also seems to be a fan of them)

bts as a whole have been nice and supportive of their juniors (as they did not really have seniors in the company or industry to do that for them), namjoon, hobi, tae, jimin, and jk have all either done a dance or sang a song from new jeans and/or le sserafim

le sserafim is filled with ARMY, most if not all of them have mentioned bts as someone to look up to/that they like, kazuha is fan of jimin and inspired by him as she is a former ballet dancer, yunjin was literally on army twt (https://x.com/saxophonist95/status/1651896094442373120?s=20), doing army selca day and very much a tae bias, they (like the rest of hybe lol) did the 'run bts' dance challenge, did tiktoks with hobi, jimin, and yoongi, one of my favorite interactions was when sakura and kazuha were asking jimin if he'd do a tiktok with them for 'unforgiven' (where he was the sweetest shy baby 🥺, giving older brother/grandpa energy 😭), yunjin and chaewon even sang part of 3D recently on a wv live (the "body to body" part) (https://x.com/Jungkook_SNS/status/1708553475356029022?s=20)

he commented under JIM BEAM's ACCOUNT, not le sserafim's or chaewon's personal account (like instagram or wv) about the SUGAR CONTENT OF THE DRINK, a question to the DRINK COMPANY. chaewon is just a new model for their highball drink ad, which we know jk likes to drink, including during his recent wv live and on suchwita, he's been dieting to the point he's not eating all day, drinking on an empty stomach, and getting fcking ivs for energy, all while he can't sleep (this boy worries me 😞😞)

gg stans love to fcking over exaggerate things, making jk out to be a pervert and p*do (even when chaewon is 23) bc of the bs people have been spreading about him towards women, to the point k antis are trying to get 3D (even the clean version) age restricted on k charts and get his 3D performance canceled

most of the people being weird about jk were not even fearnots (a lot of army also stan or casually like le sserafim), but unfortunately part of the fandom are also blinks, exols, or other kpop groups stans who don't really care about bts/jk and will do or say ANYTHING to make him look bad bc they're bts antis

jk literally said he does not have a girlfriend or feel the need for one, stop implying he's lying bc you're being weird or insecure about him interacting with something where a woman is present

let opposite sex idols be fcking friends, anytime male and female idols interact y'all make sh*t weird, most if not all of bts have female friends but for some reason (heteronormativity and homophobia) y'all can never be normal and just let them be friends. it happens all the time, especially with namjoon and jk. joon is nice to megan the stallion > he wants to fck her and y'all make him have a fetish with black women/people (people do this with jimin too...), joon is nice to halsey > he wants to fck her/is flirting, joon hangs out with so yoon (the girl he did smoke sprite with) > they're dating (even if there is a very likely chance she's gay/queer), joon attends somi's listening party (like jitb for hobi) > they're dating or he's trying to fck her

it's gets even weirder with jk bc since he was a MINOR people have been sexualizing him, he's thrown into the most bs dating rumors bc he sat near or looked at a woman (hell he doesn't even need to interact with them and psychos connect random sh*t as "proof"), plus i've seen/heard jk say/do things 1,000 times more sus with jimin, but y'all are going to look past that bc it's a woman jk's interacting with... most people (including me lol) don't think mingyu and jk are dating (outside of the jokes the fandom loves to make about anyone jk interacts with, except jimin) when they're out here hanging out together, getting drunk and looking at eo starry eyed while giggling on wv live, wearing matching outfits, jk was liking a shirtless tiktok of mingyu, they were in busan together, jk using mingyu's wv account to comment on one of their other friends' wv live, and many other things that were more sus. also that one time jk slapped his idol friend's butt at an award show and a fan (of that idol) started accusing jk of sa and bh had to sue

also tiktok algorithm is a thing, we know jk follows all hybe groups (including le sserafim), he likes memes and funny videos, he likes alcohol (especially highball), so it's not that far off to say that it might just have showed up on his feed (like i'll call out a solo on twt/x and suddenly my 'for you' section is filled with fcking pjms or jjks 😞, and i then have to spend a couple minutes blocking and clearing my tl), and not necessarily him looking it up bc he wants to fck her or is an obsessed fan (saw some chaewon solos and fearnots (including some big fan accounts 😐) say he's chaewon biased which might have led to kpop stans losing their sh*t)

also i found out chaewon fans (gg stans in general) have a tendency to be overprotective (some guy gave her a rose as part of a scripted thing on a variety show (i think??) which chaewon knew about and agreed to do and they (fans) lost it and threatened the guy to the point he came out and said he's no longer going to interact with female idols), and sometimes i get it bc south korea isn't the best place for women and even less in the idol industry (especially with the amount of grown ass male stans of ggs), like even when le sserafim on this variety show where one of the hosts has a reputation of messing with young female japanese idols (member of twice i think?) and he was making weird comments towards kazuha (she was 19 and is japanese) and every corner of kpop stan twt (including army) were upset and protecting her

pls let just jk interact with people (especially women 😞) without assuming he's fcking them, go outside and make friends (even of the opposite sex), and deal with your sex deprived bs elsewhere anon!

if y'all (kpop stans/weirdos) ruin my sseratan interactions istg....

i need eunchae and jk to interact badly bc that basically his daughter/twin (https://x.com/vyunmiin/status/1609513373414326272?s=20) (https://x.com/jjksamore/status/1610615833754992641?s=20), also i need to see yunjin around her bias (tae 🥺😭)

Damn. Anon came prepared. I don't think I need to add anything else. Anon, please accept this heart. Good job

[narcopharmacist]

Short Dramione fic review (and some spoilers too)

I just read another dark Dramione fic, entitled Uncoffined by lady_of_clunn. Published back in 2012, lord have mercy.

I found it on reddit, and I decided to read it because the commenter stated that this was the supposed inspiration for the famous Manacled.

It was a short read thank gods, with only 13 chapters, but it was quite heavy on the chest. I now saw the circumstances and its similarities with Manacled. The writing style was also quite similar, and Draco's title of High Reeve was fcking there, oh my god. 😮😮

I praise the lordts that Manacled portrayed Dramione as having this monogamous relationship. This, Uncoffined, fcked me up, because Hermione was fcking shared , my brothers and sisters in christ. 💀🤢 It was just one time, but goddamn! Worse, Draco willingly decided to do so, also because he was drunk. And who was this other guy? It was Blaise. The only redeeming (redeeming? More like acceptable?) part I guess was that only Draco was inside; Blaise got the mouth only. Fcking hell. I read the tags of it having a 3sum, but when I read the there were these 2 guys doing a girl in the first chapter (which did not involve Draco nor Hermione), I thought that was the 3sum we were going to get. I did not expect the 3sum to actually involve our MCs. 😭😩🫠

So in here Draco was the one who got caught and was imprisoned in Azkaban. However, Hermione got intel about the raids etc (like in Manacled) indirectly. She listened to the convo of the Death Eaters whilst having dinner, and she wrote them down. Although she "wh0red" herself, and had a contract, it wasn't to gather intel, rather it was done because Draco thought she really was one, and he didn't know she was Hermione because she so-called glamoured herself and named herself Jeanne. He wanted to be, and did become, her only "client" through that.

It was angsty, yes, of course, with the tag. But the HEA tag I did not see. I'm glad it was HEA though.

[ask-serendipity-sky]

https://www.tumblr.com/serendipitous-sky/730531249357275136/do-you-think-jks-comment-about-asking-how-much?source=share

couple things as i'm an army and a fearnot

they're under the same label (hybe)

viral moment

he commented laughing under a tiktok where she messed up her speaking part during their song 'fire in the belly' (https://x.com/elsserafim/status/1692180175516291286?s=20), MANY other idols have made fun of it or referenced it, in fact most of south korea has as well, it's a meme at this point, which we know jk loves to make fun and reference things (jimin, g dragon, namjoon, basically all of bts lol, k dramas, ect)

he's a fan of music in general and likes gg songs

boy is basically a tokki (new jeans fan) and would not surprise me if he was a fearnot (le sserafim fan), he played fearless (their debut single) in his camping vlog, he was asked to sing antifragile many times (including by namjoon, who also seems to be a fan of them)

bts as a whole have been nice and supportive of their juniors

they did not really have seniors in the company or industry to do that for them, namjoon, hobi, tae, jimin, and jk have all either done a dance or sang a song from new jeans and/or le sserafim

le sserafim is filled with ARMY

most if not all of them have mentioned bts as someone to look up to/that they like, kazuha is fan of jimin and inspired by him as she is a former ballet dancer, yunjin was literally on army twt (https://x.com/saxophonist95/status/1651896094442373120?s=20), doing army selca day and very much a tae bias, they (like the rest of hybe lol) did the 'run bts' dance challenge, did tiktoks with hobi, jimin, and yoongi, one of my favorite interactions was when sakura and kazuha were asking jimin if he'd do a tiktok with them for 'unforgiven' (where he was the sweetest shy baby 🥺, giving older brother/grandpa energy 😭), yunjin and chaewon even sang part of 3D recently on a wv live (the "body to body" part) (https://x.com/Jungkook_SNS/status/1708553475356029022?s=20)

he commented under JIM BEAM's ACCOUNT

not le sserafim's or chaewon's personal account (like instagram or wv) about the SUGAR CONTENT OF THE DRINK, a question to the DRINK COMPANY. chaewon is just a new model for their highball drink ad, which we know jk likes to drink, including during his recent wv live and on suchwita, also he's been dieting to the point he's not eating all day, drinking on an empty stomach, and getting fcking ivs for energy, all while he can't sleep (this boy worries me 😞😞)

and the account responded

(https://x.com/firstsight_jk/status/1710551942827786439?s=20)

gg stans love to fcking over exaggerate things

making jk out to be a pervert and p*do (even when chaewon is 23) bc of the bs people have been spreading about him towards women, to the point k antis are trying to get 3D (even the clean version) age restricted on k charts and get his 3D performance canceled

most of the people being weird about jk were not even fearnots (a lot of army also stan or casually like le sserafim), but unfortunately part of the fandom are also blinks, exols, or other kpop groups' stans who don't really care about bts/jk and will do or say ANYTHING to make him look bad bc they're bts antis

jk literally said he does not have a girlfriend or feel the need for one

stop implying he's lying bc you're being weird or insecure about him interacting with something where a woman is present

let opposite sex idols be fcking friends

anytime male and female idols interact y'all make sh*t weird, most if not all of bts have female friends but for some reason (heteronormativity and homophobia) y'all can never be normal and just let them be friends.

it happens all the time, especially with namjoon and jk.

joon is nice to megan the stallion > he wants to fck her and y'all make him have a fetish with black women/people (people do this with jimin too...), joon is nice to halsey > he wants to fck her/is flirting, joon hangs out with so yoon (the girl he did smoke sprite with) > they're dating (even if there is a very likely chance she's gay/queer), joon attends somi's listening party (like jitb for hobi) > they're dating or he's trying to fck her

it's gets even weirder with jk

bc since he was a MINOR people have been sexualizing him, he's thrown into the most bs dating rumors bc he sat near or looked at a woman (hell he doesn't even need to interact with them and psychos connect random sh*t as "proof"), plus i've seen/heard jk say/do things 1,000 times more sus with jimin, but y'all are going to look past that bc it's a woman jk's interacting with...

most people (including me lol) don't think mingyu and jk are dating (outside of the jokes the fandom loves to make about anyone jk interacts with, except jimin) when they're out here hanging out together, getting drunk and looking at eo starry eyed while giggling on wv live, wearing matching outfits, jk was liking a shirtless tiktok of mingyu, they were in busan together, jk using mingyu's wv account to comment on one of their other friends' wv live, and many other things that were more sus that commenting on TWO tiktoks.

also that one time jk slapped his idol friend's butt at an award show and a fan (of that idol) started accusing jk of sa and bh had to sue

tiktok algorithm is a thing

we know jk follows all hybe groups (including le sserafim), he likes memes and funny videos, he likes alcohol (especially highball), so it's not that far off to say that it might just have showed up on his feed, and not necessarily him looking it up bc he wants to fck her or is an obsessed fan (saw some chaewon solos and weird fearnots (including some big fan accounts 😐) say he's "chaewon biased" which might have led to kpop stans losing their sh*t)

chaewon fans (gg stans in general) are overprotective

some guy gave her a flower as part of a scripted thing on a award show, which chaewon knew about and agreed to do and they (fans) lost it and threatened the guy to the point he came out and said he's no longer going to interact with female idols.

sometimes i get it bc south korea isn't the best place for women and even less in the idol industry (especially with the amount of grown ass male stans of ggs), like even when le sserafim were on this variety show where one of the hosts has a reputation of messing with young female japanese idols (a member of twice i think?) and he was making weird comments towards kazuha (she was 19 and is japanese) and every corner of kpop stan twt (including army) were upset and protecting her

pls let just jk interact with people (especially women 😞) without assuming he's fcking them, go outside and make friends!

Anon.

Well, what I said in my other 2 posts about this still stands especially after seeing this whole ask defending Jk when I haven't accused him of "fucking" Chaewon or any of the things you wrote about.

Go read what I wrote.

Sounds like the ones who should go outside and make friends are you all who start being offensive when you all leave aside your reading comprehension skills because you rather feel attacked.

[kithtaehyung]

May I ask kindly for the continuation? I just don’t really know what to say other than this was stellar. You know how to build characters and fit them together well. And you were right the other day when you said dialogue is your strong suit - though, the rest of what you do isn’t far off.

Honestly, I don’t know how to come here and stream of consciousness like everyone else but I promise I am sweating like they are. For instance, I nearly lost my mind at the popsicle shit, Yoongi is too strong for not running across that yard right there - I would blown it. Even Yoongi’s back, I was like yeah, that’s hot. I might not have words for anyone after the next part.

I had to catch up on a lot this week before I read because, and I know she told you, Riley is keeping me busy helping her post injury (I love her though so I’m happy doing it). This morning she was like “before you help me get ready, go read” So clearly she loves me back because this was fan-fucking-tastic. It was a good break from stress that’s for sure. Also I can’t remember if I ever sent my thoughts on the rest of the 3tan chapters, I can write it again if I didn’t. 

-🎷 

SAX HIIII i'm so sorry for responding to this so damn late! all the bbq asks got buried during the time when i was still trying to get some energy back. ofc you can ask for the continuation bc it's already in the works mwahahahah

thank you so much for the dialogue commentary! it's absolutely my favorite part, and i do think i need to work on a lot of other aspects. you're too kind, though<3

LOLLL we were all sweating during this part, it seems... the damn popsicle shit had me hiding my face bc it was so fcking hot lol. you would've blown it right there? honestly, me too. idk how yoongi was able to hold back but.. maybe he's a long con revenge guy as we can probably see with the lollipop HAHAHA

how is riley? how was the showcase if it's already done?? hope y'all are both doing well! i actually played my violin for a little bit yesterday bc i might use it a lot more in the coming months.

she's such a real one for getting you to read summer bbq LOL i love you both so much. glad you enjoyed and no, i didn't get your thoughts on the rest of the 3tan chapters but literally no rush at all! if you wanna send them in, i would be fcking hype to read them. but take your time!  

[katherinemorningstar]

OK, now because of a random tiktok I just saw, I got why I am sooo alone and why it has been like that all my life. Let me give you context, the girl of this video talk´s about being a Manic pixie dream girl, I´ve never heard that tag 4 a personality stereotype before, however, it turns to be a type of girl who only aim in her life is to give the main character a life message or be his impossible crush but his temporally girlfriend too but is always an idealize character created for man (dream girl part) the MANIC part is because this girl have got trauma or mental disorder, an eccentric personality and explosive energy, it was weird cause I got all of them, the PIXIE is because of the way of her style, that remind the boys a "fairy" it´s kinda dumb, social girl and cute but not necessarily girly. By this time I could only think about Ramona Flowers and why people allways find the way to say I am like her or any other cartoon child, like Mabel or Star Butterfly, this always make me feel uncomfortable, and then I read the GIRL part is because it is a childishly personality, I found it gross because sounds like pdophilia. she is also into "weird" or alt music, and this things ike "not all the other girls" but not as much as the pickme girls, this "perfect" middle point not too girly but not to much like male.

As I said before the ONLY aim of this girl is to be an accesory for a man in character development, give him really important life advices and that stuff, but when that is done, she disappears and let the man "free" and better to get the perfect girl with no mental issues and get a better life or that shit.

I AM THAT GIRL and I had no fucking idea about it, and I literally HATE IT.

I wish I was loved and not just a temporally wise traumatized girl, but every fcking thing I´ve ever had with a boy I like, turns this way, no matters how much I try to be better, I am just a PHASE for their growness, who help them to be better, but they can´t stay whith me.

I´m dying.

[evagaetinosgirl]

my heart over yours; part five | j.fleming x reader

prompt: jessie and you finally stop being oblivious idiots. finally getting together.

author notes: this series is finally coming to an end, this feels weird 😭 i had so much fun writing this actually. so enjoy all this fluff as a ty for all the love this series got 🩷

contains: ucla!jessie x reader, childhood bestie!jessie, lesbians that stopped being oblivious, so much fluff, jeff and reader are certified lover girls™, small time jump but i swear it's nothing crazy like they aren't married, chelsea!jessie x reader, covid doesn't fcking exist in this thank god 🙏🏾

credit to @/glimmerofawesome for the gif 😝🙏🏾

masterlist to other parts

playing best part by daniel caesar & h.e.r 🎵

"you taste like cheap liquor," is the first thing jessie says when she pulls away. it quickly changes the mood from semi-romantic to playful. you laugh loudly, unable to control your volume with the alcohol still in your system. good thing the party was still going strong and the music was still blasting so loud you're sure that someone could fall down the stairs and nobody would notice.

the canadian doesn't go too far when she pulls away, still holding onto you. partially because she wants to be close to you after everything that happened and also partially because the alcohol was really starting to get to you so you weren't able to stand that well on your own.

"you're supposed to say something way more romantic after a kiss, freckles," you say, moving your hand to cup one side of her face. she leans into your touch, giving you a smug smile. "you still tasted good though."

"gross! that's even less romantic than the last thing you said," you laugh loudly again. stumbling bit but jessie holds onto you so that you don't fall. you pull her closer, wrapping your arms around her waist with your face against her shoulder; suddenly feeling very tired.

"it's not gross, it's true," jessie laughs at your clinginess. drunk you weren't as messy as she thought, it's actually a really cute sight. "let's get you home," the canadian decides against going back through the party. not wanting to deal with having to push her way through a bunch of drunken people and a house that smells of a combination of sweat, alcohol, and cologne & perfume. she pulls you towards the front of the house by going through the small path that goes from the backyard to the front. quick to hold you by the waist with one of her arms, using her free hand to text hallie to come out so you all could go.

in the back of your mind is gabriela. you are sure she is somewhere in the house drunk making out with some girl, not even thinking about you. leaving without saying anything felt wrong but you just remind yourself to text her in the morning. even though you will probably be fighting off a bad hangover.

it takes ten minutes that felt like pure seconds in your drunken haze for hallie to come out. when you see her, you stumble out of jessie's arms and into hallie's. the blonde is a close friend to jessie since they both play for the ucla soccer team, so obviously you are quite close to her as well. it's only natural when jessie and you are that attached.

"hii halls," you giggle as hallie catches you. she giggles right alongside you, pulling you towards the car. jessie is following close behind. "i'm a cough medicine now?" the tall girl gives you a funny look that makes you giggle again. the alcohol was really starting to get to your brain. you don't reply, just smiling at her. once jessie reaches the car she opens the backseat for hallie to lead you into. after that's done, instead of sitting in the passenger seat like she had on the way here, the canadian sits in the backseat with you. claiming she had to make sure you didn't puke all over hallie's seats which wasn't entirely a lie. puking all over the blonde's white seats wouldn't have been a pretty sight, but also jessie just wanted to stay close to you. especially with you being so vulnerable. she has hardly seen you drunk before; only once or twice when jessie would bring beer for you two to try into the dorm.

"this tastes like piss," you would say after the first sips. coughing in a dramatic way to prove your point. then of course like always, jessie would find a way to tease you and say, "how do you know what piss tastes like?" then you two would burst out laughing. pouring the beer down the drain in the bathroom before going out and getting slushies.

jessie is taken out of her reminiscing by you slamming into her side. wrapping your arms around her waist and leaning your head against her shoulder.

"why don't you have a seatbelt on..?" jessie frowns, her eyes glancing down at your waist. you don't answer her. just letting out a soft sigh. the soccer player chuckles before snapping you into the middle seatbelt. the short dress you have put on has been riding up since earlier, but jessie somehow didn't notice. she pulls it down as much as she can; ever a gentle-woman.

the ride isn't long, with jessie and hallie talking quietly so you wouldn't wake up. even though jessie doubts you would awake at anything. she won't tell you, but you did snore a bit. just quiet, light ones. nothing crazy. she'll eventually tease you about later when you don't even expect it, but for now she'll leave you alone.

getting you from the car to the dorm once you three arrived on campus wasn't hard. you were half asleep, so you just let jessie and hallie drag you along; from hallie's parking spot to the dorm building then up the stairs and finally into jessie and yours actual dorm. hallie gently sits you down on jessie's bed before sighing, "that's enough chasing after drunk women for one night. good night."

"good night. hopefully you don't fail your exam in the morning," jessie says, it's more of a tease, as the blonde leaves out of the room. hallie lets out a sarcastic laugh before shaking her head, "whatever. don't let your girl throw up all over your sheets."

the implication of you being her girl, jessie's girl makes the freckled girl blush slightly. shutting the door behind hallie so that the blonde wouldn't tease her about the sight of her slightly redden cheeks. the taller soccer player would tease her about it anyways, knowing how her friend already is, but nevertheless.

jessie turns to focus her attention on you. she walks over to her bed where you're snuggling with her pillow. she lets out a small chuckle at the sight. were you always this cute? jessie decides in her mind that yeah you always been this cute. she just never wanted to admit it.

"y/n.. get up, so you can change," she mumbles softly. leaning in close to look at your sleeping face. the word babe almost slips out of her mouth, but she doesn't know if it's the right time. she's been wanting to call you that for a while now, jessie didn't really get why the urge was so strong but it was, and it has slipped out a few times, but you always just accepted it. teasing her by calling her some overly sweet petname back. you didn't notice the light blush on her cheeks back then or maybe you did and never said anything.

your eyes open but slowly you close them back, shifting so you can get more comfortable. jessie smiles but don't let you go back to sleep so easily. pulling you up until you're sitting up. a pout sits on your lips, "jess.. no.. i'll sleep in this."

"you won't be comfortable and will complain in the morning," she says. you would smile at how she knows you so well, but the sleepiness is really getting to you. "help me..?" you ask softly. the canadian doesn't even flinch at your request; she would always help out alongside your mom whenever you were sick, so she helped you change a few times before. she moves away from you to go over to the dresser, grabbing out one of her t-shirts. coming back over to you.

you're laying down again. jessie just pulls you up again and talks enough that you are now half asleep. sluggishly moving so she can help you take off your heels then your dress and finally slip the t-shirt over your head so that you can put your arms through the arm holes. now you can comfortably lay back down, snuggling up to jessie's pillow again. however you whine at the fact it doesn't have any warmth or a pulse.

"jess... where are you?" the words come out of your mouth. jessie stays silent for a moment, too busy changing after you laid down.

"just making sure you don't wake up with a horrible hangover tomorrow." she finishes with changing quickly. wearing one of your tank tops, having slipped off her pants to leave only her boxers. she grabs a waterbottle off of the dress before coming back over to the bed for you. it's room temperature but it's not like she's going to leave out of the dorm to get you a cold water. it's obvious you want her near you and obviously she's going to listen to you. again she pulls you up, holding you up with her free hand as she sits on the bed. shifting so that your back is resting against her chest. you whine, leaning into her.

"drink something. i bet you only drunk alcohol," she says. opening the bottle before handing it to you.

"not true. i'm a responsible eighteen year old," you say. she chuckles, just nodding even though she doesn't really believe that you weren't just drinking alcohol all night. despite your words you still drink the water. almost dropping it out of tiredness, but jessie keeps your hand steady by holding onto your wrist. once you're done she takes the water from you, puts on the cap, and sets it aside on the window still next to her bed.

when you realize the water is out of your hand you try to lay back down in a quite awkward position as your waist lays on one of jessie's legs. she smiles at your cuteness, deciding to help you out as she moves around slightly so that your back is meeting her front again but this time you two are laying down. her arms hug your waist. the feeling must be comforting because you let out a soft hum of content. then just like that you drift off to sleep.

meanwhile jessie is laying there with her face against the back of your head, thinking.

thinking about what happened out there on that patio earlier. how you confessed, or is more like admitted since everyone else knew all along, your feelings for you. how she confessed her feelings for you. this wasn't nothing new, for jessie, at least.

jessie realized her feelings earlier than you did. around the time you told her that you got accepted into ucla. the fact you would choose the same college as her and upend your entire life to go to a country you have never lived in for jessie (mostly) touched her heart. you have given up soccer, so you weren't going to further your career. you never showed much interest or really any at all in heading to america before jessie said she chose ucla. it was for her.

of course, jessie is not someone who is ego centric. your choice to come to america wasn't entirely for her, but she's sure she played a big part. is it wrong to think this? the soccer player doesn't dwell on whether her thinking is right or wrong, as she slowly drifts off to sleep right alongside your already deep in sleep figure.

an entire week passes before you two talk about what happened. it wasn't like you guys were ignoring it, but life got in the way. your schedule was packed with classes and jessie was splitting her time between classes & the gym so she could stay in shape. you would always come home, exhausted, to an already changed jessie snacking on a huge bag of chips and she would always invite you to join her. with you two falling asleep right after whatever show jessie is watching is over, sometimes before.

it's sunday afternoon when jessie asks you about it. you're in the bathroom, trying to do your hair so you can go out and get some ice cream. she comes up behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist. making sure to not put too much weight on your back so that you can continue to do your hair comfortably.

"so.." her hand plays with the bottom of your shirt, "you said you love me. that you're in love with me."

your movements stop for a moment as you meet her eyes through the mirror. then you continue, allowing her to speak on.

"do you want to go on our first date as girlfriends?" jessie asks. hearing the word girlfriend leave her mouth makes you smile. oh yeah, you two technically are dating now. you didn't think about that part when you confessed. "you didn't even say the can i be your girlfriend part though," you tease.

that makes jessie chuckle. she pulls your hands away from your hair to turn you. now she is pressing you against the counter, her front touching yours. you smile, your eyes tracing the freckles scattered across her face.

"look me in my eyes," the soccer player uses her hand to hold onto your chin in a gentle grip. you don't want to look away once you two's eyes meet. you would drown in that gorgeous brown of her iris if you could. "i'm looking," you whisper out into the small space between you two.

"can i be your girlfriend?" she asks, leaning in close so that her lips almost meet yours. almost.

and you giggle. you fucking giggle right against her lips. mostly because your heart feels like it's going to burst and also because you can never take jessie too seriously. she is still your bestfriend at the end of the day after all. now she's also your girlfriend. the feeling of you laughing against her lips makes jessie giggles too. then your laugh is muffled as she closes that small gap and kisses you.

the kiss isn't really sudden, but you giggle even more. smiling so hard into the kiss, your hands scramble to grip onto her shirt. her hands are cupping your face.

and she's pressing and pressing against you and her lips are so soft against yours and she tastes like that stupid strawberry gum she was chewing earlier and she's so warm, so fucking warm you feel like you are burning and you never want this to end to end and dear god.

why haven't you done this before?

you are the first to pull away if you can even call it that when your body feels like it's about to become apart of the sink. your tongue peeks out to lick your lips. you can still taste jessie on your tongue.

the canadian is obviously waiting for some words from you as she just stares at you, panting slightly from all that oxygen is lost while eating your face.

you giggle, leaning in close to peck the tip of her nose.

"yes, you can be my girlfriend. can i be your girlfriend?"

"you can be whatever the fuck you want to me," jessie says. she doesn't add that you can do whatever you want to me too part, but you can feel it's there. you know it's there; because you know jessie like the back of your hand, like the air you breathe, like the studies you spend countless hours on. you know jessie like she's apart of your soul.

she is apart of your soul.

jessie moves away from you to leave out of the bathroom much to your dismay. a pout sits on your lips as you watch her, but you don't chase after her. turning to go back to doing your hair. she comes back into the room after a few minutes, changed into some cargo shorts and a compression shirt that definitely not hers but you don't say anything. your eyes lingering on the way the shirt hugs her body longer than they should.

"so back to that date. let's go right now?" she leans against the doorframe. "right now? i'm not even dressed," you say. of course it's bluff you are going to say yes anyway.

"yeah, yeah. hurry so we can go," jessie smiles at you. it's warm and adorable and you hate yourself for giggling at the cuteness of it. actually, scratch that. you don't hate yourself for that, why wouldn't you find it absolutely adorable?

it takes a little while but you get ready eventually and you two head off to get some ice cream. walking around a park near the ucla campus, just talking and playing around on the swings like the children you really are.

then you two went to a vietnamese restaurant. one you been wanting to go to, but again college was taking up most of your time. the pho was delicious and so was the duck soup, that was jessie's favorite actually. you two filled up on that flavorful food before slowly making your way to the beach.

the sun is setting and you're sure the beach is most likely closed, but you don't really care.

"wanna go for a swim?" jessie asks you as she starts to take off her shorts. you laugh at how quick she is to take them off. "skinny dipping?"

the freckled girl looks at you with a blank look. "no, what. someone could see us," she says. you already know jessie is pretty shy and would definitely not like someone else other than you or her family seeing her with a lack of clothing. she continues to slip off her clothes, leaving her in just her nike pros and sports bra.

you follow suit, it is hot in california after all. taking off your shirt but leaving on your shorts. jessie gives you a questioning look.

"what? i don't have on any boxers or whatever like you do. i would look like i'm running around the beach with no clothes on really," you shrug off her confusion. grabbing onto her hand before running and dragging her along with you to the ocean. she laughs loudly and yelps when the waves first hit her legs.

"why is it cold? this is la!" jessie shouts even though she doesn't need to. there is no one else around and the waves aren't that loud.

"i don't know, but guess what?"

"what..?"

the small smirk on your face makes jessie want to back away from you and run because she can already tell you're about to do something extremely mischievous but she isn't able to when you pull her down with you into the room.

she lets out a really loud shout of surprise before the sound is gone as her body goes under water. you two look at each other underwater, smiling. this scene feels nostalgic. reminds you of those summers when your parents and her parents would go camp by the lake, squished between right after the summer soccer season ended and before school started. you didn't realize how little time that was back then, it felt like forever, but now you do.

the moment elysse was put down for her nap or was too tired to swim, jessie and you would run off a little bit along the lake shore. she would dare you to jump in first, but of course you would refuse, not wanting to go alone so you two would hold hands and jump in together.

back to right now, jessie and you play around in the water for a long while. even though it was pretty cold, as cold as it can be in la.

then you two are laying on the beach and her hand is touching yours and you swear the sand is sticking to your skin and you are freezing but still a smile sits on your face because somehow jessie is still warm. she's always warm.

"i think you're so gorgeous," jessie whispers out into the comfortable silence between you two. you turn your body to look at her fully, she's smiling.

you about to speak but she cuts you off by saying, "wait. i don't think, i know you are so gorgeous. i think you are pretty like the moon with the personality of the sun and if i wasn't already in love with you, i would have fallen in love right now at this moment."

and you don't know what to say to that. curse jessie for being so good with her words; but one thing you do know is how to show your appreciation and so you kiss her. your hands trailing on her half dry half wet body. the mix of the warmth of her skin and the coolness of the sand feels so good under your touch.

you curse the human body for needing to breathe when jessie pulls away.

"i think you're so gorgeous too," you whisper to her and you think you just might marry jessie as she gives you one of those shy grins of hers.

jessie graduates a year before you do. when she walked across the stage, you were probably the loudest in the room alongside her family and yours. the embarrassed blush on her cheeks makes her mother tease endlessly as you all head to dinner to celebrate the end of her college soccer career and just college in general.

"look at you, all grown up," your mother says to jessie outside of the restaurant after you all have eaten. she pecks the freckled face of the canadian, talking more and more about how she watched jessie grow up to be a beautiful young woman. jessie blushes throughout most of it and you fight the urge to tell your mom to stop being so embarrassing, but you let her have this.

after a long conversation with jessie's parents, you and jessie go to get in your car. you wave at your mother as jessie drives off. you're certain the two pairs of parents will be having a great time in la while jessie and you go back to you guys dorm. well, it's more of your dorm now.

"maybe i can go fishing with your dad one of these days, like this summer?" jessie says, giving you a glance. you give her a confused look before giggling, "why would you go fishing?"

"because your dad was talking about it and seemed so interested." she returns your confused look. why were you laughing?

"my dad is 'interested' in a thousand things. you know how indecisive he is."

"ohh. so just like his daughter?"

"jessie!"

the next two days were spent finishing up jessie's packing. she have opted out of the nwsl draft after getting having chelsea knocking at her door and you get it. the thought of long distance this early in your relationship feels like the key to trouble, but you already know you two will be alright. when jessie moved to vancouver in highschool you were devastated, but you lived on and still were so close to her. you can definitely survive this.

"hopefully your little superstar rookie soccer stuff doesn't get in the way of you coming to my graduation next year," you say, taping up the last box filled with jessie's things. she rolls her eyes at you being so over dramatic.

she smiles, coming over to you, "i swear it won't. i'll make the trip."

"promise? if you don't pinky promise then i don't trust it." you hold out your pinky finger. she links hers with yours, shaking your linked fingers for good measure.

she uses that connection to pull you into a hug. then she pecks your lips; once, twice, another, and another. "i would kiss you for how many days we will be apart but we would be here forever," she says.

"hm, when i come over to england then you can give me all the kisses you want," you say back. giving her another peck before pulling away from her to go sit on her now bare mattress. so memories here in this room now just stuffed into a box and ready to be shipped miles away.

jessie follows you, laying beside you. she cuddles up to her but stays silent and you do too. so you two just lay there in comfortable silence. counting down the minutes until you have to drop jessie off at the airport.

and when that time comes, you almost want to cry but you don't. you save that for later when jessie is already on the plane, flying away to her new life that you will join soon. just one more year and you'll be there in england with her. it isn't so bad to spend a year apart; at least that's what you try to tell yourself. jessie was pretty distracting with her cute smile and soothing voice and soft hair and stupidly annoying jokes. is that really a pro of this long distance situation? doesn't seem like it.

you spend the next year working hard on your studies, so you can graduate on time. jessie and you don't get to see each other as much as you want to with her being so busy and you being so busy, but it's okay because you two sit on facetime for half of the day anyways. even with the time difference.

the day she comes back to ucla for your graduation, alongside your parents and hers, you nearly cry. no, you do cry,

because your family is there and jessie's family is there and jessie is there and you feel so surrounded with love that you think you might suffocate. jessie kisses you at the end of the night after showing you the video of her shouting for you as you walked across the stage. "you know i'm proud of you, right?" she whispered against your lips as she held you. "i know," you whispered back. you could see in the way her eyes shined as she stared at you. you could see in how she held you so gently. you could see with how she spoke about you.

yeah, you know jessie is proud of you.

the first time you come to a chelsea game wearing her jersey and screaming her name as she played the best ninety minutes that jessie swears she ever played in her entire life, she becomes certain on one thing;

jessie is going to marry you.

author notes: and that's the end of this series 💔💔 the ending is a little rushed but i love so i hope you guys love it too! i'm going to be writing and posting a lot since summer is close so like keep your eye out for my work. ty for all the support like fr 💗

© THINKINGABOUTJAEDYN

[reincarnatedonthefirst]

Wow. What a night…

I went to an educational event at this local dungeon. I’ve been wanting to push myself in the kink lifestyle. It’s been a major goal of mine to do a public “scene” with another kinkster at a dungeon.

When there are dungeon events, there’s usually open “playtime” afterward, in the various rooms, where other kinksters can play, often in front of others. There’s usually no privacy. I knew that if I could be uninhibited and brave enough to have a scene at a dungeon event with another kinkster, I could be successful at being a professional fetish provider. This has been my goal. And I knew that tonight, I would have that opportunity. I didn’t want to shy away from it. I didn’t want to disappoint myself.

I came up on two obstacles, though. I invited these two other girls to the event. I regret that because it created the potential for me to be locked together with them the whole night, making it difficult to mix and mingle with other people!

But I purposely arrived earlier than them so I could have time to make new friends. When I arrived, looking adorable and beautiful, this old white guy immediately latched on to me. He was in love with my look and wasted no time asking if I would do a scene with him later.

We were locked in.

The demonstration part of the event was awkward because I invited my friends and I wasn’t giving her my full attention because this old dude kept talking to me. I do not think she was too offended. Our other friend arrived later anyway.

After the demos were over, the old white guy asked, “are you still in the mood [to do a scene]?” I wasn’t about to back out of that shit. This was my opportunity to prove to myself and everyone else that I’m a real kinkster!

Honestly, I really need to stop trying to show the world that “I’m about that life”. I need to stop seeking to “belong”. This project is about becoming a pro fetish provider making money. But my ego and self esteem are caught in the mix and, as I’ve told you guys before, I’m focusing on the wrong thing. It will take me a while to get past this…

Anyway, I was nervous but this old dude was so cool. I felt comfortable because HE was comfortable. He was comfortable and so easy in front of me and everyone else. We went into the dungeon room and he got undressed in front of me and whoever else was in the room. He got on top of the spanking bench and I pretended to know what I was doing…

I won’t go into too much detail but I think I did a decent job. I was walking around the bench the way that fetish performers do on stage (have you guys ever seen a flogging demonstration? You know how they slowly walk around their subject on stage? I did that shit too!!! 😂😂😂).

Yo, I’m such a fraud but I’m SO proud of myself!!! I am THAT… BITCH!

People were curiously watching us. Some pretended not to want to see what we were up to but you couldn’t help but notice. I had something to prove and I went to town on that sweet old man in front of this small crowd. There were lots of black women there too and I know they were also confused as to why I was spanking this old white dude. I did not care. I was the most relaxed I’ve EVER been in an incredibly awkward situation. I overcame my fear and did that shit like a fcking pro.

There’s just two things I wish I could have done differently: I need to train my mind to be a dominant. I was not with the protocol. I cleaned up the spanking bench when we were done when my BOTTOM should have cleaned it up. I should have let him do all the work!

Also, I took a photo with my bottom (the old dude) when that is against the rules of the dungeon. I felt like such a newb for violating the rules of the dungeon. Thank goodness that none of the dungeon masters caught me taking a photo. But there’s no way I’m letting this cool photo I took of us go to waste. I earned that photo, touching that old white dude. Fck that. I edited the photo so that it didn’t look like it was taken at the dungeon. I’ll wait a few weeks before posting it to my socials.

The old dude was actually wonderful, and INCREDIBLY sharp for a 71 year old! I hope he stays in touch with me.

Y’all, your girl done popped her dungeon cherry and went to the next level in kink. Throw some respeck on my name…

[tmwcs]

HUNNYYYY I’m here im present this reaction is long overdue I was supposed to send this yesterday but I was soo busy and the internet here is literally fcking up so bad that’s why I havent interacted IN A DAY can you believe it?!?! this is so unlike of me….BUT ANYWAYS IM HERE IM BACK HELLOO

p.s. this is very long sorry in advance 😚💗

first of all..the amount of flashbacks in this chapter is giving me so much joy I just immediately revert back to when heethan and readen were still “strangers” and seeing both his and her perspectives once again bcs it’s been a while since you’ve done one of these but aaaahhhhh my heart!!!!!! my precious lalovess 🥹🥹🥹

‘God damn she’s so beautiful….and she’s fucking all mine….’ STAAAAPPPPP this is giving me so much deja vu from the first chapters and smau’s (it’s a flashback in but still) 😭😭 reading heethan’s thoughts abt readen will ALWAYS give me the goosebumps it’s always got my heart doing fricking cartwheels dude I can feel the hee’s love for our readen goshhh it’s making me weaaakkk

“My glasses…”

“You wear glasses?”

“I used to….back in high school”

“You don’t anymore?”

“Nope…got a Lasik a while back…”

YESSSS I was wondering when we’d go to this topic again bcs of the last chapters and o m g green haired hee with those glasses?? an absolute nightmare it’s got me weaaakkk in the kneeessssss ESP WITH THE INSERTED GIF AND PIC STAAAPPP REI LULU’S HERE.

also p.s. I’m not even joking but my childhood stuffed toy that’s a grey elephant is named lulu….shut up😃💀

“They look good on you….who would have thought that someone would look better than me in my own glasses.” He chuckles.

“Stop, you’re overexaggerating.” You chuckled back.

ahh yes our still very humble readen as always..it’s part of her personality cus I swear with how rei’s describing her she is a literal goddess but still she’s humble af I love her sm my lovely (and overly humble) readen

“You’re a wonderment.” WAIT- THATS A NEW ONE 🤩🤩 HAVENT HEARD THAT ONE FROM HEETHAN BEFORE NO WAAYYY this is like way back but I guess new word unlocked hihi

stop. The fucking smut. holy shiiiiittttt that was probably the first time (?) where hee went Ethan mode while they’re doing it and it’s mfing hot

“No-no…..this is what you asked for riiiiight?……..Fucking let me eat you….let me feast on your skin……let me tear your body to pieces…..” GETTING HUGEEEEE DEJA VU from some chapters cus I literally cannot recall how many times heethan has said abt devouring readen and even more times on how he actually DID it…GODDAMN THIS IS HAWWWWTTTTT😵😵‍💫

Rei you don’t know how much I love all of the his and her perspectives from old chapters cus it just literally shows how much has happened already and how far this story has gone even though it’s only been twenty chapters I still remember when heethan would rant to himself in the smau’s and readen and him seeing each other the first time at Vicky’s dorm….staaappp 🥹🥹🥹

Heethsn’s perspective during THE iconic and will forever be remembered scene when everything unfolded that night….hee’s perspective is just absolute perfection AAWWHWWHHSNNDHEHESNHEHENNENS his thoughts and the way he thinks about her, the way he loves her it’s just something that’s out of this world and one that no one could understand EXCEPT readen. I love them.

“Let’s go pretty baby…..we got a plane to catch.” Okay let’s ignore the other dialogue in that scene for now but ITS HEREEE ITS FINALLY HAPPENING OH MY GOSHH 🥹

I’ve been waiting for chapters and chapters for heethan and readen’s “next” I guess let’s say journey together and when I tell you that I literally CANNOT WAAAIIIITTTT to see their life in Korea and all of the scenarios that could happen (and possibly smaus ;)” AAHHHH YAAAYYYY MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS HEETHAN AND READEN MWAAAAAAAA <33333

……………………..

"...That voice....Eden? Is that you? Whats going on? I'm so confused...and scared....what's happening? What is Ethan talking about?....He's Heeseung?.....what...then who is Ethan? Who was he all this time?"

"Y/n......"

"Yes?"

"..........run."

……uhm- what a great way to lighten the mood 😃😃

let’s just uhh ignore what I wrote before that uhm….so anyways-

I definitely think that as each chapter goes by heethan’s love for readen is becoming stronger and stronger and I just truly hope it doesn’t escalate to the fact that it’s uncontrollable anymore (REI DONT EVER DO THAT TO MY HEETHAN AND READEN 🤺🤺) but DUDE.

WOOOOHHHHH things are getting MOREE saucier and juicier and spicier‼️‼️‼️ OMFGG!! are we prepared for this rei? ARE WE??

but also BIATCHHH I KNOW YOU LOVE CLIFFHANGERS BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO END IT AT THE WORST ONE OF ALL “…….run.” LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT 😭😭😭

Honestly cannot wait for future chapters and this chapter 20 I just adoreeee because of the his & her perspectives, it’s POETRY 😩

Okay yes I’m sorry I wrote a lot of my thoughts and a bit less screaming rn so forgive me mother rei I’m a bit emotional on this chapter (and probably cus I wrote this while it’s shark week but anw)

Reina you better hit me up once you read this because with the way heethan and heebros are plaguing my mind ESPECIALLY after their new chapters I actually think I’m gonna go crazy unless I talk to someone so

THATS ALL HOPE YOU ENJOYED OUR TALK CUS I KNOW I DID 😘😘😘

i had to bump up in the line of hte asks bc i needed to respond to yours immediately lol!

giiiiiiirrrrrl the longer the asks/summaries of chapters, the better. Once i finish chapter 9 of MT, DT chapter 6 is next. and it is getting fire....just like you said.

oh girl, this last chapter of HHP.....i'm loving that you loved and emphasized the his and her perspectives, bc that is actually crucial. bc obviously......something is about to go down..lol....something going on with heethan but its never out of malicious intent, its all out of love. but that's why i put in his perspective, so everyone can see just how his thought process had been since the very beginning, bc in MGR and somewhat of MRE, he was very calm, quiet, and composed, but that was just bc he kept everything internal. HHP reflects his mindset and how he really views readen and how much he loves you.....like his obsession and infatuation just escalated from the moment he saw you and ...normally i'm not one for the "love at first sight tropes" although i can be if they are well done, but in this story, heethan def fell in love at first sight of readen, and his infatuation only grew more and....i mean, lets not all forget, he is yandere.....he may have started out a bit soft....but he just grew more and more insanely in love with readen (all those events like gabe, samuel, scot and tiff, and now this serial killer that stalked her) all of those contributed to his growing possessive streak and just made him more and more obsessed and yearning to protect her, so that's where we're at right now but it gets interesting. next chapter you'll see some more of like...how everything went down and what happens to our girl. she's fine. trust me she's fine. lol.

[honeygold-dew]

Responses to Autism Representation Regarding Extraordinary Attorney Woo

—from someone on the spectrum too!

I created this account to share my many thoughts about this drama (I’m usually a twitter user). I browsed through various platforms to see responses to the drama from both autistic voices and voices of those prominent in autistic lives (family, friends, etc.) and found that I have a lot I want to get off my chest.

I want to place a disclaimer here that these are just my thoughts and opinions. Not here to argue, I just want to share from my place in this conversation.

There are some points I found interesting that I want to discuss. This may be a hot take but I personally don’t think the character needs to mask to be considered more realistic, because autistic people who behave like Youngwoo exist in real life. I am friends with them, and I watch the drama alongside them. I have seen "realistic rep" used a lot and I feel it might be a problematic phrase in that sense, because as we repeatedly say that not all on the spectrum are the same (“if you’ve met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person”), I think it’s important to expect, in line that we are diverse and different, that not all autistic media will cater for our individual representation.

I feel this is the same for autistic people who mask and do not mask, because masking can sometimes be a social abuse trauma response (I know it definitely is in my case). Some people naturally do not mask just as some naturally do, so I do not consider a lack of masking to be a negative point in representation. Would it be a massive positive to have it included? Of course! I am saying this as an autistic person who relies on masking to function in society. I’d be fcking ecstatic to see this done well in an autistic character, and it would be wonderful to a big part of our community + help ease the stigma neurotypicals have around autism — but I don’t think it’s a thumbs down if it’s not a part of the character, either.

I also think it might be backhanded to call certain traits exaggerations in these reviews. Because, again, there are people who (in real life and who have expressed in online spaces) feel represented by Woo Youngwoo. There are people who outwardly behave like her. There are people seeing you say how they behave is not “realistic” enough for the autistic community.

I actually think it’s wonderful there’s a character like Woo Youngwoo who is being embraced for her traits. That her friends and family around her don’t make fun of her and see it as things Youngwoo does that makes her, simply, her. The her who they love and support.

With this in mind, I also don’t necessarily think stereotypes are something I would change. Stereotypes are definitely harmful in the sense that it can affect diagnosis and how other people treat and react to us, but there are still autists who match it. Autistic people in STEM is a stereotype, many complain it’s tired and needs to stop in media for better representation (and I agree, I’d love to see diversity), but I am also an autistic person in STEM who is simultaneously yet to feel represented by what’s in the media.

I don’t think the decomposing of the autistic character is what needs to change to have a good show involving autism — I think how it’s portrayed (cinematography, symbolism, writing), relevance and receiving from the audience would be the important part instead of the character simply being in the STEM field. The character could be involved in anything else and I would still call it bad if they were utilized in a bad way.

I’m viewing this show as I would view any other drama with neurotypical leads. Although an important part, I’m not measuring Youngwoo by her autism, because as an autistic person I know she is more than that. I am taking her in as a person who happens to navigate life with autism, instead of just an autistic vessel.

And one thing I genuinely feel, is that the drama did a great job at this. I feel like Youngwoo is a person to be enjoyed instead of an autistic character presented for pity votes. The drama shows her as a person, asks her why she feels the way she feels, instead of pushing that autistic is all she is. She’s not written as a walking guide to autism for allistics, she’s written as a person living her life in a job she likes with nice people around her (and even a sincere love interest!!! how cool is that!!!) and honestly? This is the best thing I could ever ask for.

Personally, I think the autistic person should be allowed to simply exist and live, as their person, *even* if that includes stereotypes. I don’t think they need to change, and frankly don’t want them to change to be seen as valid for the community. I want them to love and be loved no matter what the hell they present as. And since the problem is lack of representation — we’re a diverse community, I feel the answer here is more and more media with us diversely and naturally included, as we are included in everyday life. I want shows where autism isn’t the character’s entire role, I want shows where autistic media doesn’t need powerpoint presentations in their episodes to tell you hey, a bunch of us are different, because there’s so much healthy rep available it becomes general knowledge. I don’t want stories about one autistic person to be responsible for the handling of the entire autistic community, I want them to just live.

I sincerely hope I’m expressing myself right. Kindness is much appreciated.

[sunflvwerx]

a more detailed overview of the characters’ reactions to you skipping their banners for someone else !

characters / / venti, klee, childe, zhongli, albedo, ganyu, xiao, keqing, hu tao, eula, kazuha, ayaka, yoimiya, raiden shogun, kokomi | gn!reader [platonic]

warnings : slight spoilers for inazuma’s chapter + some swearing

author’s note : another version of this will be written later (i dont know when i’ll finish) which will be their reruns, and on their second (or third considering childe) the reader will wish for them :D

kokomi’s part takes place before the end of inazuma’s third chapter

venti wasn’t very enthusiastic upon knowing you were planning on skipping his banner for someone else instead, though he understood why and didn’t let the thought ruin his day completely; he did have a lot of other players that had been wishing for him. despite his almost carefree attitude on the though, he still silently hoped that your encounters with him with other players or during the story could hopefully convince you enough to wish on his banner, and from then on, he could be on your side. as he waited, a collection of cecilias were waiting for your arrival with him.

klee was saddened by the news of you skipping her promoted banner for the newer character that would be released after her. she didn’t understand why you didn’t want her to be by your side, but she knew that she probably wasn’t able to change your views on wishing for another character. fish blasting on her own and going to solitary confinement some time after, she wishes that the two of you could one day spend your days and adventures together.

almost unfazed by the thought, childe had brushed off the news and then moved on rather quickly, though this emotionless reaction had hid the melancholy he had felt knowing you were planning on wishing for someone else instead. despite the awful feeling that churned inside him and the thoughts of what he could’ve done wrong, he escaped to fighting and training, hoping that if he gets stronger, you could change your mind and press the button to wish on his banner, despite what he would’ve done that you hadn’t yet realized.

understanding and almost unmovable, zhongli had little arguments against your choice of not wanting him on your team although if you did invite him, he would talk about osmanthus wine when he’s not telling a story. while he respects why you chose to not have him on your team to travel throughout teyvat, he does want to one day join you on your adventure and share his many stories with you, and to create new memories under a shield of jadeite.

albedo: tHE FCKING AUDACity-

albedo himself wasn’t very surprised nor emotionally changed, but he did feel slightly disappointed at you for not wanting to have him on your team, and so this had led to him second-guessing himself and hesitating a bit more than he naturally would. was it something about him, or something he did? he didn’t have the answers nor the time to seek them, and so had proceeded onwards, hoping that the changes he made could also change your perspective on him. 

it didn’t bring her down too much, but ganyu still felt like it had been her own fault that you didn’t want to wish for her. this did cause her a fair amount of stress, but she didn’t want to feel like it was completely her fault and her doing that caused you to not want her by your side, and so took a break, one of the first times in a while. in the future, she believes that she can make a difference for the two of you and for you to let her be an avid follower on your side.

xiao was completely indifferent and unchanged by your reaction to his banner; mortals had their own time and decisions, and he had wanted little to intervene with unless it had been related to combat. still, if you were to turn around and had the wish for him to join your team, he would still be waiting, in the same spot that he had started in. be it at wangshuu inn or at the stone peaks that towered over the clouds, he would devote himself into helping you rid of the monsters that had roamed around liyue.

keqing wasn’t moved very much by the thought, though it didn’t surprised her either as many others had the same mindset as you. while she made herself move onwards, it felt like a burden had been weighing her down from you not wanting to wish for her, and that it was by her doing that made you do this. despite her doubts and setbacks, she continued working, hard as ever, and still hoped for the day that she could finally join you in a unforgettable journey throughout the world.

hu tao was still as playful as ever despite the choice you had decided, if it was your decision, she would respect it. it also meant more time for planning what she would do as a gift for inviting her to your team! she didn’t have too much time beforehand, and so began a rather long intermission time for her to prepare miniature gifts for you as a way of thanks. although she was a bit disappointed knowing that you didn’t want her to be on your side right now, she would still wait until the time you would decide to welcome her as part of your team.

to eula, this was something that you would have to pay for, and although she didn’t mean it in a literal way, she wasn’t very happy knowing that you didn’t want to have her on your team. she did, however, hold you at a considerably high amount of respect as you were one of the few people that took their own time to look into her past and knew how different it was from her family’s history instead of attempting to only call her out and hold her at a bad view only from her being a descendant of the lawrence clan. if you made the decision to allow her to fight by your side, she would honor the opportunity and fight alongside you against your enemies.

carried to him by the wind, kazuha had known and understood your choice, and did not try to oppose you in your decision. set back by nothing that would have weighed him down, he did hope that it wasn’t someone or something that had been keeping you from wishing for him, and that it had been by your mindset on his promoted banner. as he continued to wander about in nature, and be it by the thundering lightning that illuminates the brilliance of inazuma or by the calm guidance of the wind, he travels aimlessly, hoping that one day the two of your paths could converge into one.

as the shirasagi himegimi of the kamisato clan, ayaka couldn’t help but to partly blame herself for being unable to follow you in your travels. perhaps it was because of something she did, or it had been her stature that made it look like she wasn’t easy to approach. nevertheless, after being comforted and reassured that it wasn’t anything of her ability that she had done to made you not wish for her, she continued to strive forward, hoping that a day could come where she can enjoy a leisure yet unforgettable journey with you.

as joyful as she was, yoimiya was rather discontent realizing you didn’t desire to have her on your team during your journey, but she could understand why you would choose so. while she was still slightly disheveled from the news, she continued on with the production of fireworks, as the summer festival was soon dawning on them and she would not cease the satisfaction she brought to her customers and the satisfaction she felt seeing their happy expressions. no matter, even if she wasn’t on your team to travel with, the fireworks that she would create especially for you would always burn brighter and higher than the rest, a symbol of her gratitude.

“insolent.” that had been the raiden shogun’s first words of the news. however, despite her unchanged view on everything else, ei was impacted a little more than the puppet. despite the slight weight the though had put on her, she continued to press onwards, both her and the puppet. even then, she knew more of the effects of erosion and the impact of loss, so once the day dawns that she exits the eternal and brilliant land of inazuma with the blade that was handed down to her by makoto, she wishes that you will leave neither of them behind, neither her nor the puppet.

to say the least, kokomi herself wasn't too affected by the news, although her status as priestess and leader of the island and resistance felt as if something sharped had pierced through it. despite the slightly hard feelings, she continued on nevertheless, and now with each battle she leads, she would be fighting for you, even if you weren't physically on her side. as the time passed without you, she had since been preparing a welcome gift for you if you had wanted to join her cause for the future of inazuma

[beetles-and-leeches]

Ranking the courtiers

The other ranking surprisingly got a response so here's more of my dumb dumb thoughts on these bitches

1. Valdemar

Do I even have to explain?

I am, in fact, a filthy shameless monsterlover

This sharp-toothed bastard can take my organs anytime. I'll consider it a selfless service from them

Horrifically uncanny, witty, cryptic, makes dark jokes and doesn't give a shit about death (because it kind of is death). Dream partner

A walking eldritch horror

Feels like an avatar from The Magnus Archives

Yes I know they are ace I just love them as a character concept and as a monster

They are the most scary element in the whole game and I'm thankful for them. I need fear to survive

Yo tengo un caballo verde que hace piruetas-

2. Valerius

I'm in love with them since Nadia's route

He bLUSHES

The perfect villain that is actually competent and intimidating but still hasn't done enough damage to be irredemable (yes this is me still being mad about Lucio. Get used to it)

Heaven is a tea party with him and the Hiperophant

Long hair man hell yeah

Honestly the corrupted sprite is pretty fcking attractive

3. Volta

Baby. Soft. Must protect. Pure

Yes I am also starving 24/7 let's team up and eat the world like that one flash game with the grey goop thing

I have this headcanon of her being a starving child when she made the deal so any ships with her seem weird to me

That one part in I don't remember who's route where she just clings to Julian, baby

4. Vlastomil

I just really like bugs

PLEASE take me to your estate to see your worm collection and tell me their names. That's all I'm here for

Seems like talking to him would be very entertaining just for the way he expresses overall

5. Vulgora

Too intimidating for me

Like they're a cool and fun character and all but if I actually met someone who yells like that I'd just run away crying

My moral side says you should never solve your problems through violence. My chaotic side says hell yeah arson

[psychewritesbs]

Your analysis of Nine and Twelve was great! Thank you so much :) You seemed to really enjoy answering the last question so if I may, can I ask about your thoughts on Lisa? She gets so much hate on the internet that I frankly don’t think she deserves. In my opinion she’s the most tragic character of them all.

Also, do you believe Lisa has an eating disorder? It’s a fan theory that has some traction, the most damning evidence being that she threw her food in the toilet and nearly retched the second her mom texted her asking if her lunch was good.

First, sorry it’s taken this long to publish my response. I started writing this response back when you first asked, and then I did not like what I had written. In situations like that I like to create distance from my work so I stepped away from the draft and only got back to it today.

Second, thank you ♥️🙇🏻‍♀️✨. I did totally enjoy writing my response bahaha. I had wanted to write about Zankyou after I finished re-watching it this last time, but had not gotten around to it yet because I had a million other essays I am either working on or want to write. When your ask came through it was the perfect excuse to nerd out on an anime that I absolutely love.

Just like with your previous question, I had no opinion on the matter. After I went back looking at scenes with Lisa, I have to say that while I can see why she’s disliked, I very much agree with you. Lisa’s character is very nuanced and very quiet, just like she is.

You can expect word vomit in defense of Mishima Lisa under the cut...

In defense of Mishima Lisa

From my perspective, Lisa isn’t a deuteragonist or supporting character, but rather one of the protagonists playing an equally important role as Nine and Twelve. 

In a sense, you could say Zankyou is told from her perspective as the anime ends with her voice, which is an important part of the story and her character arc, narrating how she was affected by her involvement with Nine and Twelve.

An involvement that begins with Lisa declaring with conviction to Nine “shinitakunai!”--I don’t want to die, in the first episode. To which Nine tells her that from the resonance of the sound of her voice he assumes she must be standing in one of the stairways. 

What Nine was referring to in that moment was the terror in Lisa’s voice resonating in the stairway. A terror which, in episode 9, Lisa faces, thus leading to her accepting her own mortality.

Seriously Watanabe. What a fcking genius.

In a nutshell, Lisa is the best of both Nine and Twelve. She is the third element introduced into an otherwise soulless duo.

If Nine is the brain/mind of the operation and Twelve is the body/heart, then, like the other Watanabe heroines in their respective trio, Lisa is the soul.

Watanabe and finding harmony in 3′s

After my last post, I thought it was interesting that Watanabe’s heroines are actually different character tropes. Where all of the males in his stories stick to the same tropes for the most part, he seems to explore different tropes through the females.

Faye Valentine is a ditzy femme fatale.

Fuu is cute, spirited and feisty with zero sex appeal compared to Faye.

And then there’s Lisa...

I have to admit that upon first impression Lisa appears to be a pushover and a very meek person. I am inclined to say this is done on purpose because of the character development she experiences throughout the show. Character development that, as I mentioned earlier, is incredibly nuanced and quiet--so much so that it is easy to miss.

This is what makes Watanabe a genius in my eyes. The way he shows Lisa’s character development is so in character with who she is.

Compared to Watanabe’s other heroines, Lisa is understated, she messes up royally, and is pretty much “useless”. It’s, really, no wonder she’s not popular with the fandom. 

Whether others like her or not is, of course, a matter of personal opinion. Having re-watched her scenes, however, I have to say that, out of the Watanabe heroines I have seen up until now, I personally really like her the most for the same reason Zankyou is my favorite Watanabe anime--to me she’s the most human one.

But before I gush on and on about Lisa, let’s talk about your other question.

Does Lisa have an eating disorder?

Maybe?

You could say it is implied that she has an eating disorder because she threw away her bento. However, I am reluctant to jump on board that train because we only see this happen once. 

For example, Nine is constantly telling Twelve not to get too involved with Lisa--thus implying Nine knows Twelve well enough to have to continuously remind him not to get involved. This is a pattern. Lisa throwing away her food is not a pattern.

I am more inclined to believe that Lisa felt grossed out by the food because her mom was the one who cooked it. The act of throwing the food away was in itself symbolic of Lisa’s desire to create much needed boundaries and reject her mother’s toxic behavior. 

By flushing her food down the toilet, perhaps Lisa felt like she could just flush her mom down the toilet--this behavior of running away from her troubles is consistent with Lisa’s character.

That being said, to me, it also looked like Lisa feeling sick was a visceral reaction as though the food was itself disgusting and not necessarily because she is bulimic. Also, if I remember correctly (and I could be totally wrong), behaviorally, bulimics only barf after having eaten and Lisa did not even touch her food.

All of these thoughts got me wondering about what else Watanabe would be implying through this scene. All I could think of was that perhaps Lisa’s mother uses food to manipulate her or something along those lines. Since Lisa can’t cook to save her life, I wonder whether her mom was trying to keep her dependent on her as much as possible so that Lisa would not abandon her--her mother’s fear of abandonment is another pattern. 

Of course, this is just speculation on my behalf.

But I only thought about this because I thought it was really interesting that the bento box was super cute and beautifully organized. It was like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise depressing bathroom stall. 

For that reason, I can’t say with 100% certainty whether she does or doesn’t have an eating disorder. I’d call it 50/50. 

However, I am personally more inclined to think Watanabe meant to show how toxic the mother/daughter relationship is and how Lisa is trying to separate herself from it.

“Meek means being powerful without taking action”

(Source--I did not actually read the article but felt like the quote is on point with what I want to say about Lisa).

To me, Lisa is someone whose kindness gets confused for weakness. She is quiet, submissive, soft spoken and timid--all characteristics that, at least in the west, are looked down upon. 

Again, compared to the other Watanabe heroines, Lisa appears to be the kind of person who is bullied and does not stand up for herself. Unlike Faye and Fuu, Lisa appears to be a bystander in her own life rather than an active participant.

The first time we see her she is being bullied by her classmates. But far from being someone who does not stand up for herself, I see Lisa as actually trying to have some agency in her dilemma.

For one, I thought it was interesting she was barefoot. Meaning, either the bullies let her take her shoes off, or there was some pre-meditation on her behalf that went into this moment. I am assuming she knew she was outnumbered and would be pushed into the swimming pool, and thus decided to take off her socks and shoes.

Second, when Twelve intervenes, her response is that she was the one who decided to jump into the pool with her clothes on because of the hot weather. To me, the way she voices this shows that she is trying to have some agency over what is happening to her.

Like, “ok these girls are bullying me, but I am choosing to go along with it of my own free will because I am outnumbered.”

The problem with her mentality is that it does not get the bullies off her back. Rather, it keeps her stuck in a vicious, toxic cycle of co-dependence. Just like with her mom.

That is why I see Lisa as someone who just wants to be left alone to live her life in peace. It is other people’s agency that get in the way of her desire. Whether she is getting bullied at school, or whether her mom is trying to control her, someone is always infringing upon her boundaries and she does not quite know  how to enforce them other than by running away. 

Running away and locking herself up, as we see happen multiple times throughout the series, is the little bit of reprieve she gets from the problems in her life.

Funny enough, just as she is wishing for everyone to disappear while hiding in the bathroom, the lights turn off in the government building. 

Because of this, I can see how she saw this as a sign that Nine and Twelve could save her from her life. Ironically, as we all know, she basically gets dragged into their conflict and nearly dies because of it.

This girl just can’t seem to catch a break. 

When Nine gives her the choice to join them, he tells her “you can’t go back” (modorenai). These words scare her because she intuitively knows them to be true--she will no longer be able to go back to who she used to be.

I think that Lisa choosing to run away from home marks the beginning of this change in her. 

Running away from home was another attempt to assert some sort of agency over her life. Ironically, as was to be expected, she came to realize just how helpless she truly is as she aimlessly wanders the streets of Tokyo before Twelve, who has been stalking her, finds her.

In her helplessness she fantasizes about someone coming to save her from her life and her decisions. This is totally the worst thing she could want for because it means she has actually regressed and is still stuck in co-dependent dynamics.

That co-dependent dynamic is now with Twelve. 

Enter the glorious motorcycle scene.

I just love this scene so much because both Twelve and Lisa are caught up in this gorgeous fantasy in which Twelve gets to be both a normal teenager with a crush and a Knight in Shining Armor, while Lisa gets to be his fair lady. 

Together, they share a moment of freedom from the matters that weigh them down in their lives.

Unfortunately for them, the reality of the matter is that Twelve is keenly aware of his mortality and Lisa is getting dragged along into a situation beyond her very human aspirations.

Lisa, the best of Nine and Twelve

I can’t say with 100% certainty what Watanabe’s intentions were, but I have to wonder whether we are meant to like Lisa at the beginning.

Like... to be disliked (at least initially) could be the point of her character. 

Why do I think that? 

I am not sure whether you read the Jujutsu Kaisen manga, but there are a couple of characters the fandom loves to hate while missing the point that we are meant to dislike them by design. 

One of these characters is a girl who is rather weak-minded. The fandom hates her actions because, to be fair, they are quite despicable when you have no context or don’t understand the nuance of her character. Nuance which Gege Akutami, the mangaka, feeds you in small increments as the story progresses.

I feel like this method of writing characters is very Watanabe-like. 

Seeing as, again, Lisa is very likely meant to bring harmony to Nine and Twelve’s dynamic as a third character, to me, in addition to bringing out the best in them, she also represents the best of both Nine and Twelve. 

However, we can only appreciate this nuance as the story progresses and she interacts with them.

Twelve sees Lisa’s hope

When it comes to Twelve, he is attracted to her for two reasons: Her eyes remind him of the eyes of the kids at the institution, and her voice’s color is a pale yellow.

If you noticed, compared to Nine, Twelve wears a lot of yellow, which is very fitting with his character being cheerful. So I thought it was interesting that a character like Lisa who had been depicted as meek from the start, would have a voice that is pale yellow as Twelve says she does.

Yellow is typically associated with hope (von)/optimism, brightness, warmth, and happiness (just to name some of the color’s positive traits). Traits I don’t think many of us would associate with Lisa’s personality. But that’s only because Twelve can see something in her voice that we can’t--her emotional self. 

When you look at Lisa through the lens of the color yellow, even if it’s a pale yellow, you start to see Lisa as someone whose actions are driven by hope and optimism.

Everything from being willing to jump into the pool with her clothes on, to running away from her home, to volunteering to help Nine and Twelve, is fueled by Lisa’s hope and optimism.

The fact that her voice is pale yellow might symbolize that she struggles to remain hopeful in the face of what she experiences in her daily life both at school and home. Her hope might wane, but she remains hopeful non the less.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in the Ferris wheel scene, Von is playing in the background. In fact, the Ferris wheel scene is a stark contrast from the fantasy that Twelve and Lisa were living just a few episodes prior.

The Ferris wheel scene is the culmination of the consequences that Twelve and Lisa have to pay for their actions in the real world. Lisa has to pay for her clumsiness, while Twelve has to pay for getting Lisa involved.

To me, the Ferris wheel itself represents the merry go round of life. Twelve and Lisa happen to find themselves climbing near the highest point of the Ferris wheel as the situation reaches its climax.

The situation is dire. We know from the dialogue that, unlike in the motorcycle scene, there is no way that Twelve can save Lisa with the time remaining. Twelve does not get to be a Knight, and Lisa is no fair lady.

And yet Von is playing in the background underscoring how even in the darkest of winter nights, as Von’s lyrics say:

Where something grows there is hope. All that heals hold hope. From shackles of ice she emerges. From a cold sky she crawls.

I did not finish looking into it in depth, but I thought it was interesting that Twelve’s fake name, Hisami Touji, has the kanji for “winter” in it. Seeing as the Japanese give meaning to their names with kanji symbols, I have to wonder what Twelve was trying to communicate when he chose that specific kanji that represents winter (冬) to depict the specific phonetic sound in the syllable “tou” for “Toji”. 

In other words, Twelve could have used other kanji with the phonetic sound for “tou” like the kanji for tower (塔) or sugar (糖) just to name a few.

I think this speaks to this whole idea behind Von being about hope breaking through in bleak situations, and fits rather well with Twelve’s character. We think of Twelve as a happy-go-lucky kid, but as I wrote in my last analysis of the character, he is quite vicious too. 

To me, his fake name having the kanji for winter adds a new dimension to Twelve’s character. He’s not the happy kid he pretends to be, He is a human who struggles to find hope and meaning and acts cheerful and remains hopeful in spite of his existential angst.

And perhaps that is why he wants to connect with Lisa so badly. Twelve has found in Lisa a kindred spirit. Someone who, in spite of her circumstances, continues to hope. 

Honestly, in retrospect, I feel like I am only scratching the surface of the symbolism of Twelve’s character, Lisa’s character, Von, how Von brought them together, and the growth they both experience as a result.

But, to quote this one Twitter user who so eloquently said...

“Terror in Resonance. Von. Ferris wheel. God tier moment.”

It is in episode 9, as I mentioned earlier, that Lisa shows us how much she’s grown. She owned up to her mistakes, acknowledged that Nine and Twelve have an important mission that she had no business getting involved in, and accepted her mortality. 

After all she has gone through, this is her bravest moment yet.

This is a Lisa that is taking agency over her life and destiny instead of getting dragged around by other’s agendas. Just like in the pool scene, she is asserting her agency over the situation but on a whole new level.

And just like Twelve was inspired by her response when he first met her, Twelve is inspired again by her resolution. 

If you watch the scene again (because why wouldn’t you want to watch it again?), when Lisa tells Twelve to leave her behind, Twelve starts moving faster and more desperately as though her words, her hope in this hopeless situation makes it all the more important that he save her.

All is silent, hope ignites.

But I like to think that having heard Twelve’s confession “ore wa...”, Lisa found the acceptance and connection she did not know she had been longing for.

This, in turn, gave her the inner-peace and inner-strength to save herself for once. Twelve might be the one who gets her out of the situation, but even with a bomb tied to her chest, Lisa is finally free.

Nine sees Lisa’s hope too

So I wrote my notes for this answer a few weeks ago and can’t quite put into words this dynamic right now. 

Heck... even reading my chicken scratch wasn’t easy 😂😂.

I would have to go re-watch their interactions and I am kind of short of time and really want to publish this essay. So I am going to do my best here...

Read all that to mean: I did not pay as much attention to Nine and Lisa’s dynamic because I shamelessly love Twelve and Lisa’s dynamic. Watanabe has a tendency to create romantic tension between two of the characters in the trio and my favorite Watanabe pairing is Twelve and Lisa. 

In fact, I have to wonder whether I ended up writing about the Twelve + Lisa dynamic more than about Lisa but... honestly, I am not sure I could write about Lisa without writing about how Twelve (or Nine for that matter) changed her.

In the words of my mentor, Carl G. Jung:

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed” - Carl Jung, Modern Man in Search of Soul.

BUT, if I remember correctly, Twelve was very much interested in using Lisa to help Nine process some of his trauma around having abandoned Five.

While Nine was initially reluctant to accept Lisa, always reasoning that nothing good can come for anyone who gets involved with them, he eventually opens up to her.

I am not sure that Nine also saw Lisa’s hope in the same way that Twelve saw it, but I like to think he was impressed by her determination to not back down even in the face of danger.

If you recall, Twelve tells Lisa that Nine is a sadist. I am generalizing here but sadistic characters typically have an incredibly vulnerable side to them. Their sadism is thus a defense mechanism to protect that vulnerability from getting hurt.

“If I hurt you first, you can’t hurt me”.

In a sense you could say Lisa softens Nine. 

Above all, I have to say that I believe that Twelve walking away from the operation to knowingly walk into a trap to save Lisa was a chess move that Nine had not predicted. This in turn must have shocked him to the core and helped him to re-think the situation.

Nine, Twelve and Lisa in a nutshell

Despite saying she wants for everyone to disappear, what Lisa truly wants is to be accepted and to belong. Like Nine and Twelve, she is experiencing the poignant and very human desire to belong and be remembered/cherished for the mere fact of existing--something she does not have at either school or home but found with Twelve and Nine.

That is why I see Zankyou no Terror as a story about human connection first, and second as a story about two teenage boys blowing sh1t up.

In the end, Lisa is a very human character interacting with two practically superhuman teenage boys. As such, I dare say she makes them both more human. Twelve gets to have a normal teenage boy experience with her, while Nine gets to face his inner demons and open up.

They all grow each other in one way or another.

But more importantly, as someone who is always thinking through a Depth Psychology lens, I personally think that not liking Lisa is also a rejection of our own inadequacies.

Why? Because to me, liking Lisa as a character means accepting yourself as a flawed human. As I mentioned before, she is one hell of a flawed human and I have to admit that as such she balances Twelve and Nine rather well.

How different would Zankyou be if she was a badass like Faye or spunky like Fuu? 

One last random treat

So with all of the controversy surrounding the Cowboy Bebop live action I started consuming Cowboy Bebop content on Youtube. 

Lo and behold the following scene from Faye’s past...

I can’t say Faye Valentine attended the same high school as Lisa with 100% certainty, but their uniforms sure look similar. 

I don’t think this symbolizes anything important in particular. 

I am just sharing this because I love it when authors drop little Easter eggs like this with characters from one series making a cameo in another. In this case, the school uniforms are very similar.

Anyways! Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts too!!

p.s. I have to say I loved writing this one even more than Nine and Twelve’s analysis. 

[hezuart]

That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.

I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.

I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.

And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.

We need that.

Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.

How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?

I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die

:3

Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.

Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.

I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)

and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)

-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it

So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???

(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)

And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.

The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.

At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters

1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)

But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.

2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?

Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.

This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.

Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.

(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)

Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.

(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)

~

Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)

(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)

Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...

Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.

A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.

I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this

Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.

(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)

Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?

I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.

I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.

Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.

~~~

There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh

~~~

Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.

BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.

Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.

Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.