#she was 14 and i picked her out myself. the little black one

[abluescarfonwaston]

My cat just died.

[luvangelbreak]

Deprived | Nine

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing (dont think there's anything else but lmk!) word count: 2.8k a/n: this one is kinda a filler chapter but TRUST it's only gonna get crazier from here.

pov: layla

I didn't want to go to school but I despised being home even more right now. My father and I had gotten in yet another screaming match the night before and I was sure it would continue through the day if I didn't leave the house. I managed to drag myself out of bed, trying to make myself look somewhat presentable today. I usually didn't care what I looked like at school but in order to make myself feel better, I decided it was a good idea to dress a little more presentable.

I entered the school grounds, glad I decided it was a good idea to put it in a high ponytail to avoid my hair being blown in my face by the wind. I hummed along to the music in my headphones, ignoring people's usual stares as I kept my head down to the ground to make sure there was no black ice as I walked quickly.

I felt a pair of hands nip at my hips from behind causing me to yelp, spinning around quickly and taking a headphone out only to see it was Matt with a smirk on his lips.

"Hey pretty girl," he looked down at me and I shoved his chest back, pausing my music and pulling my other headphone out of my ear.

"Hi jackass," I rolled my eyes, pulling my long sleeve white t-shirt down that was under my leather jacket. It was then that I noticed Matt and I had similar outfits on. He with a plain white shirt and a letterman jacket as well as blue jeans and his usual white air forces while I wore my long-sleeved white shirt, leather jacket, black jeans and ratty white Converses.

"Oh come on. Don't be like that," he wrapped his arm around my shoulders as he pulled me towards his car where Allie, Chris, Nate and Nick were standing.

"You guys are here awfully early," I furrowed my eyebrows as we approached them.

"No thanks to Matt," Chris grumbled as he leaned on the hood of his car, laying his head on Allie's shoulder as he looked at me tiredly.

"Do you all go in the same car?" I asked, confusion covering my face and Nate shook his head.

"Usually I drive Allie here but Matt offered to pick us up today," Nate explained and I nodded, chewing on my lip as Allie smiled at me.

"Cute outfit," she beamed and I smiled at her with a shrug, Matt's arm around my shoulders restricting the movement.

"Thanks. I wanted to put in a little effort today," I explained and she nodded, a knowing smile on her lips as he glanced between Matt and I.

"Is Mia coming later?" Nick asked Matt and he sighed, running a hand over his face.

"Yeah she insisted she had to go," Matt said, an unimpressed tone underlying his words and my eyebrows furrowed.

"What's later?" I asked, not wanting to sound too intrusive but I was curious as to what they were talking about.

"Movie night at our house," Nick responded, a smile now on his lips and I nodded, pursing my lips, "You should come."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise when the words fell from his mouth, Nick being the last person I would've expected to invite me but I mumbled, "I don't know if Mia would want me to."

"What would Mia not want?" I heard a voice behind me and everyone turned their heads to look at Mia who looked like she was freezing her ass off in her cheer uniform.

At least Allie had the brains to wear a jacket and tights.

"Layla's coming tonight," Matt deadpanned, voice unwavering and Mia raised her eyebrows. She tried not to let it show on her face that she hated that idea by nodding but I could tell she wasn't impressed.

"Great," she mumbled, moving to stand between Matt and Nate, her eyes glancing at Matt's arm around my shoulders.

"What kinda movies are we talking about here?" I asked, turning my attention back to Nick since he was the one who invited me.

"Horror!" Nate raised his voice and everyone groaned but I shrugged, giving him a downturned smile.

"I could get with that," I smiled at him and he held his hand low for me to give him a low-five which I quickly reciprocated.

"What kind of horror?" Mia asked, eyebrows furrowed in worry and I looked at Nate who shrugged.

"Depends how scared you wanna be," he smiled at me, mischief in his face.

"Have you guys seen Hereditary?" I asked and everyone except Nate shook their heads.

"Perfect! Hereditary it is," he nodded and I pursed my lips to hide my smile as Nate smiled at me. I let out a small chuckle before nodding.

+++

The rest of the day flew by, Matt and Chris once again sitting next to me in English and Allie pairing up with me in gym, earning a glare from Mia. I decided to ditch them at lunch, needing time for myself outside to have a cigarette as I debated whether or not it was a good idea to join them for a movie night.

I decided it wouldn't hurt so once Allie, Mia and I finished gym, we walked straight to Matt's car where the boys stood waiting. From a distance, I could see Chris and Nate were fake fighting each other making me shake my head as we approached them.

"I didn't know you had tattoos," Nick's surprised face met mine as he looked down at my thighs where a few black tattoos were exposed from my gym shorts.

"Yeah I have more on my arms," I shrugged and he smiled, nodding his head with an impressed look.

"Alright, let's go!" Matt announced as he jumped in the driver's seat. Chris jumped in the passenger seat, Nick behind Matt and Nate behind Chris. Mia hopped in next sitting behind Nate and Mia climbed in to sit next to her, the only seat being left was beside Mia and behind Nick.

I was thankful Mia and Allie were both smaller than me and I could fit in the back with them with my long limbs. Matt made sure we were all buckled in before he pulled out of the parking lot, Chris playing his usual trap music on the aux.

"For the record," Allie leaned over to talk to me quietly, "I like when you're on aux more."

I smiled at her with a roll of my eyes, dismissing her statement with a wave of my hand. A few minutes passed as I looked out at the small window of the backseat, noticing we were going into a nicer part of the state.

"Chris, can you put something better on?" Allie groaned and Chris turned around giving her an unimpressed look as he turned the music down.

"And what would you suggest Al?" he asked her, sarcasm in his words and she smiled sweetly at him.

"Harry Styles," she nodded and he groaned, falling back into his seat before I heard the familiar sound of the intro to Fine Line by Harry Styles started to play.

I picked up quickly that Chris had a soft spot for Allie and I can't say I blame him. She looked like she wouldn't hurt a fly even if she won a million dollars for it.

By the time the song came to an end, we pulled up to the two-story house that looked exponentially nicer than my own. Nick and Nate climbed out of the car before I got out, Allie behind me and then Mia. Once we all had our belongings and the doors were closed, Matt locked the car and we made our way inside the house.

I followed behind everyone since they all seemed familiar with the house. I made a mental map in my head of how to get back to the school in case I wanted to leave. We entered the large living area, Nate throwing himself on the three-seater couch and Chris rolled his eyes.

"I'll get the snacks," Chris said before walking out the door to where I could see the kitchen.

"I'll get blankets and pillows," Nick announced before running up the stairs and Nate grabbed the remote beside his head, turning the TV on.

"Nate you're taking up the whole fucking couch," Mia deadpanned and with a groan, Nate sat up. Mia placed herself on one end of the couch as Matt sat down beside her.

"That's where Nick sits so you can sit with me and Chris on the floor," Allie explained, pointing to the armchair that was to Mia's left and I nodded.

She placed herself on the carpet in front of Mia, leaning back onto the couch as Mia crossed her legs. I placed myself beside Allie, Matt sitting behind me. I leaned forward, not sure if he was okay with me leaning on the couch between his legs.

Chris returned with both arms full of snacks, placing them on the floor in front of me before saying, "Drinks?"

"Pepsi!" Allie beamed and he nodded, turning his attention to me,

"Uh, the same is fine," I gave him a half-hearted smile and he once again nodded.

Nate asked for a water, Matt a root beer and Mia also got water. Nick called from the top of the stairs, "Lemonade!"

Chris recounted the drinks in his head before walking back to the kitchen. Suddenly I felt something land on my head and it covered my face, realising it was a blanket.

"Nick!" I heard Matt say in an annoyed tone before the blanket was pulled off of my head. I leaned my head backwards to see Nick standing behind the couch with an apologetic look and Matt shaking his head looking down at me. There were two blankets, one for Nate, Matt and Mia and one for Allie, Chris and I. There was already a small blanket where Nick was going to sit so he didn't bother bringing another down for himself.

"You want the pillow?" Matt asked and I shrugged. He placed the pillow between his feet against the couch before he grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back so my back was resting against the couch between his legs, the pillow resting behind my lower back.

Nick rounded the couch, getting himself situated in his chair as Chris returned with the drinks. He handed them out one by one and I mumbled a small thank you, earning a smile from him. Allie handed some of the snacks to Mia and threw a bag of popcorn to Nick, leaving a bag of popcorn and Skittles for her, Chris and I to share.

"We all good?" Nate asked as Chris sat down next to me, his shoulder barely touching mine as he pulled the blanket towards him a little more. There was a chorus of agreements before Nate clicked play on the movie.

+++

Halfway through the movie and I had both Chris and Allie clinging onto me in fear. I had slid down slightly so my head was tilted back onto the couch and Matt hadn't moved his legs from around me once. I looked over to see Nick hiding behind his blanket and tilted my head back to see Mia clinging to Matt, hiding her face in his shoulder as he looked at the TV in dread.

Nate and I seemed to be the only ones not affected by the movie and I assumed he had also seen it before. I tilted my head back to the screen as Allie flinched against me.

"Why did you suggest this fucking movie?" Chris mumbled as he gripped my forearm with two hands and I giggled to myself.

"Because it's fun to watch everyone's reactions," I whispered back to him and he shook his head before he placed it on my shoulder making me smile to myself.

I felt something pull on my hair and I tilted my head back to see Matt still staring at the screen while his fingers fiddled with the ends of my hair. He glanced down at me before he looked down at his hands, letting go of my hair before giving me an apologetic smile.

"Wait, I need to pee," Mia suddenly announced and Nate paused the movie as Allie leaned forward, letting go of my arm to let Mia out from behind her. Mia quickly got up, jogging down the hallway and zipping into the bathroom. I lifted my arm up that Allie was no longer holding onto, flipping my ponytail back so it was lying on Matt's thigh.

Chris was still leaning against me, his weight fully on me as he let go of my arm with one hand to get his phone that was on the floor beside him. I didn't look at his phone but he pulled it away from his face, extending his arm out making me look at the phone and I realised he had his Snapchat open to take a photo.

I poked my tongue out of the corner of my mouth with my eyebrows raised as Nate held a thumbs up in the air, Allie leaning over and pouting her lips as she placed her head under my chin while Matt smiled toothily. Chris took the photo before saving it and pulled the phone back towards his face.

"Okay!" Mia appeared again as she flopped onto the couch, "We're good."

Nate played the movie again and Allie resumed her position of gripping onto my arm as Chris put his phone down. I once again felt small tugs on the end of my hair and I bit my lip to hide my smile even though I knew no one would notice since it was quite dark in the room, the only light being emitted from the TV.

As the movie continued, I snacked on some Skittles and Matt continued to play with the ends of my hair while Chris and Allie hid their faces in my shoulder at various moments. I heard shrieks of fear emit from Nick and Mia throughout the rest of the movie before the credits played and Allie let out a breath of relief.

"That was the worst movie I've ever watched," Nick stated, his unimpressed tone making me chuckle.

"I take it you guys don't watch horror movies often," I questioned and Chris hummed in agreement, still clinging onto my arm and his head on my shoulder.

"We going for round two?" Mia asked and I sat in silence, waiting for someone to respond as I played with the lint on the blanket cover Allie, Chris and I.

"What time do y'all have to leave?" Matt asked and I tilted my head back to look at him still tangling the ends of my hair in his hands.

"My dad's picking Mia and I up at 6:30," Allie explained and Matt looked at Nate.

"I gotta go in like 30 minutes. My parents want me home for dinner," Nate rolled his eyes and Matt nodded before looking down at me.

"I don't have to be home by a certain time," I shrugged and he smiled.

"Why are you're parents picking us up so early?" Mia whined, throwing her head on Matt's shoulder with a pout. Allie tilted her head back to look at her.

"Because we have to get dinner," Allie explained and Mia groaned, slouching into Matt further. I looked over when Nick chuckled to himself before he pursed his lips, looking back at the TV that had nothing playing.

I looked down at Chris who was doing something on his phone before I asked, "Uh where's the bathroom?"

"I'll show you," Matt quickly leaned forward, Mia falling off of his arm and I nodded. Chris leaned back onto the couch against Nate's legs allowing me to get up before I slid the blanket off of my legs and stood up.

Matt jumped off of the couch as I stood awkardly in the middle of the living room before he started walking down the hallway. He opened a door to the right, turning the light on before motioning me to walk inside.

I sent him a thankful smile before stepping into the bathroom. I spun around to the close the door and locked it behind myself. I quickly sat down on the toilet, feeling my phone vibrate in the pocket of my shorts. I pulled it out seeing a text from my father and a frown covered my features.

Father 5:37pm Dont bither cominh home

I sighed, locking my phone as I placed my head in my hands as I chewed on my lip. I bit down on it anxiously, thinking of where to sleep tonight and how I would get to school in the morning.

tags:

@ilovechrissturniolo1 @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @sturnfix

[eternal-love]

Austin and Me

“Wife to the ‘king’. Icon to the world. Destined for more.”

Summary: At 18 years old, she fell in love with Austin, at 20 years old, she became his wife, by 22, she was his doll. In which Cynthia’s life changed drastically after falling head over heels with a man that promised her the moon and the stars. She takes us down the memory lane of what could’ve been— the perfect marriage.

Inspired by the book: Elvis and Me by Priscilla Presley.

I do not condemn any of the portrayals I decide to do about certain people, it’s just fanfiction. And it would be divided in parts.

English isn’t my first language so I’m trying my best!

All my life I’ve been going back and forth between México and L.A, it’s been my two homes since I can remember. I was born to a new formed family, my mother met my dad when she already had a baby which was my sister, and since then my parents had two more kids.

I’ve always dreamt of being an actress, ever since my father forced me to watch ‘Viva Las Vegas!’ and ‘King Creole’ with him. For two years, my innocent little me actually believed Elvis was still alive and somehow young, so my dream was to act besides him. I cried hours when my older sister told me Elvis had died decades ago.

My parents always told me that acting was a waste of time and that I wouldn’t make it, not because I wasn’t talented but because out there, there were people that were the same or even more talented than me.

But somehow, I was making it, I had my debut when I was 14 years old and since then I was constantly booked— I adored doing any sort of horror movies, I was a scream queen if you know what I mean.

Once I turned 18 years old, my career was stable, I wasn’t no A-Lister but people at least recognized me, that’s when I was invited to a party, which obviously— my parents didn’t want me to go, they were very strict when it came to permissions, specially when those permissions involved other actors.

“You want us to let you go to a party with other actors?” My mom asked rhetorically as we were setting the table for dinner.

“Absolutely not.” My father interrupted firmly, he was quite strict.

“It’s the weekend, why can’t I go? I’ll be with Elle and her sister.” Hollywood was separated from my family life, my parents didn’t like hearing about actors or nothing, just me and my movies.

“Who are those people, we don’t know them. So no.” My mother was harsh whenever she wanted to, and I get now their distress of being adamant to not let me go to that party, I wish I had listened to them.

I was a girl that was sheltered all her life, so with a sigh and pout I walked to my room, mumbling some cuss words as I knew it would be difficult to convince them.

Surprisingly, Elle and Dakota convinced them, Dakota was older, she had been an adult for quite some time and she knew how Hollywood worked. Freaking out I waited for the day and picked up something from my closet, which now seemed to be all wrong in the eyes of an excited me.

Vintage clothing, go-go boots, Mary Jane heels. I chose something I could work with. I chose a 60s baby blue dress, it only reached mid my thighs so I knew it was good, I grabbed some blue heels too and for my hair I went all out as always, I liked the 60s, my fashion icons were women from that era so I teased my hair to the high heavens, creating a bouffant, my makeup was also heavy around the eyes, black eyeliner and two pairs of falsies, I liked it. I smiled once I saw myself in the mirror, this was me.

The party was surprisingly chill, nothing like the parties I heard about so I was comfortable but I stuck out like a sore thumb, I started to regret going all in on my own style until I saw him. Long blond hair, tall, blue eyes, perfect nose and he was wearing black pants and a white tee. I recognized him immediately, not only was he Hudgens’ ex but he was also the guy that was on one of my favorite movies: Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure.

We stared at each other for some long minutes, until he finally got closer to me.

“Hey— I know ya. You’re the girl from that movie about the psychotic grandparents.” He said playfully, he pushed his hair back.

“I am. Cynthia.” I extended my hand shyly and he accepted it, shaking it and squeezing it a little bit. I was not a fan of the long hair but he looked handsome enough.

Austin knew my age but there’s no problem on asking, once he knew I was legal enough, he hit it off right away. Austin couldn’t help but eye my whole look which made me think he was judging me.

“I like your dress.” Austin laughed. Feeling embarrassed, I snapped at him.

“I don’t even even know why I decided to wear this stupid dress and stupid hair today!” I snapped harshly, which only made him laugh.

“Little girl has some spunk.” He joked which made me feel even more embarrassed after snapping at him.

“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes playfully. He was 7 years older, for some reason he acted as if he was 20 years my senior.

Since that night, we both started seeing each other. He was my first real boyfriend— I think he liked that, he liked the idea of teaching me what love was, he felt that responsibility.

My parents weren’t at all okay with my relationship, for some reason they said that no relationship with an actor could ever turn right. Once again I wish I had listened to them. He trusted me enough to talk about his late mom with me, when we were in his room after an hour of being intimate or whatever we were doing.

“I wish my mom could’ve met you. She would’ve really liked you.” Austin whispered to me in full confidence, he felt like I was the kind of gal his mother always wanted for him, not someone like Vanessa.

“I wish I could’ve met her too.” I whispered back to him softly, I hated seeing him with tears in his eyes while he talked about his mom because I didn’t know how to comfort him.

“She was my whole world… my mama.” Austin rubbed his eyes and sniffed some tears, I tried cuddling closer to him.

Take my advice here: never date a mama’s boy.

“Why you? Why can’t he go back to dating women older than him? You’re only 18.” My mom nagged me, sometimes I felt bad because not only did she have to worry about me but also for my younger sibling, who were barely even teenagers.

“He’s not like you imagine, mami.” I tried excuses for my relationship, they didn’t even know him that well to judge him.

“Oh really? He’s just another damn white actor. Tu crees que tu papá va a dejar que te cases con alguien cómo Austin? (Do you think your father will allow you to marry someone like Austin?)”

I stayed silent, marriage had not been discussed by Austin and I, we were still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship. I was happy— we were happy. Out first Valentine Day’s was amazing and it made things finally official to everyone. Austin gave me this beautiful locket with his picture inside, great gift.

I think he also liked that things were pretty much private between us, I barely posted him on my Instagram since he barely posted me on his, he liked that I wasn’t loud, bitching and moaning about our relationship.

“Should I marry her?” Austin asked his older sister, Ashley, who was engaged herself.

“I don’t know, Aus. She’s not your type.” Ashley never really liked me, she was weirdly a Trump supporter and well�� it’s not like Trump was the most inclusive person.

“She’s exactly my type, she’s not bossy or loud. She’s a brunette— well I would rather her being more natural and drop the jet black hair. But she’s exactly what I want.” Austin said.

“You do whatever you want, just remember that marriage ties you down. Don’t let her cut your wings.”

I was 19 years old— marriage was the last thing on my mind. I was happy with my career and surely acting in more stuff gave me more fame and people started to recognize me more. But every action has its consequences and not wrapping it before tapping it caught up to us.

Have you guys heard of shotgun weddings? Well us was in some way. But the wedding should be another part of this.

So, this is the beginning. Austin will be kind of an asshole just cause his behavior is kinda inspired by Elvis.

[chiniece-curlygirlystory]

Girlhood + Hair

A huge part of girlhood for me was surrounded by my hair, particularly how it was styled. Being a young black girl in the Caribbean, I think it's indicative of our experience at one point we'd sit in between our mother's legs or a very close relative to have our hair braided on a Sunday afternoon before school on Monday. Styles ranged from extravagant partings in canerows, braids, and two-strand twists adorned with clips, bubbles, and ribbons to make us look presentable. This was the case for me until at some stage my hair was relaxed. Moving from detailed and creative hair designs downgrading to a simple container of chemicals making my once kinky hair filled with expression into a sleek conformative look. I can remember being 6 years old when this happened, my mother had relaxed hair it was easier for her to manage at the time and she thought why not do the same to me? I was old enough for my young scalp to take on the harsh chemicals. I still remember the pink and green box with the little girl on the packaging her hair straight with curler set curls in them at the end, I thought wow I'd look so pretty like that too. Although now I look back on it as the innocence of my virgin hair being stolen from me. After I turned 14 I decided to no longer have my hair chemically relaxed I wanted to get to know my natural hair. I couldn't remember what my hair looked like when I was robbed of an experience figuring out how to manage my hair. So I took it upon myself to go on the journey of becoming a natural again. I did the big chop and rocked my tiny afro for quite some time then my sister did my hair in afro kinky twists for the first time. It made me feel like the prettiest girl on earth and no one could tell me otherwise. She had never done that style before on anyone, I was basically her guinea pig so she could figure out how to do it on herself. I of course was more than willing to be a lab rat, they looked wonky but I didn't care I loved them because I had never seen myself like that before. I felt pretty with my hair relaxed yes, I loved getting my hair put into a fresh curler set every Sunday, but something about the kinky twists had just resonated with me more. I felt a sense of identity with all its imperfections the wonky parts, I felt different and that was better than anything in the world. Another part of your hair journey as a young black girl was when you were allowed to get your first set of box braids with colour at the ends. For some reason, the universal option chosen is more often than not purple.  I've asked my friends and they too said their first experience with coloured braids was purple. We all gravitated to purple there's something so innocent about our collective love of the colour purple in our hair as young girls juxtaposed our different tones of beautiful skin we all looked phenomenal. Even now as I'm on the cusp of being a full-blown adult entering my 20s I still find myself experimenting with my hair in different styles. This year alone I've done several styles from faux locs, butterfly locs, Marley twists, box braids with beads, French braids and lace front wigs. I always find myself back to kinky twists, they hold a special place in my heart they opened my eyes to see my true beauty in a natural state. My younger self got to experience that feeling of getting a natural hairstyle done for the first time I'll never be able to get that back again  I do envy my younger self for having that feeling of being renewed, reborn, liberated even. Hair and one’s journey with their hair is a particularly important part of girlhood specifically black girlhood that no one speaks on and I'm glad that I'm able to do so through my blog.

     I didn't go natural I started to love the hair I was born with.

           -Your favourite Curly Girly 

All photos used can be found in the linked Pinterest board :)

[frenzyjinx]

The Watcher (mono x reader)

Chapter 14

Y/N Pov

Jumping down off of the cabinet I wiped away some sweat and peeked over at mono, he was looking down at the brain that had broken out of its jar from the fall

"Well it's all that was up there.." I spoke with a grimace as I stepped over some.. brain liquid. "Yeah im not surprised this school is full of surprises" he responded

Seeing him hesitantly step near it I held back an eye roll and walked over to him picking the brain up myself, it was squishy and smelled like stale bleach

Disregarding the nasty fumes it was ejecting I threw it at the button with force, we both immediately walked inside the door that slid open

Wiping my hands off on my hoodie I scrunched my nose up in disgust when my eyes spotted more unknown items inside of glass jars, seeing a small hole in front of us I knew that was where we would have to go

Whispering I tugged on mono's coat "ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜᴇʀ ɪs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ.." looking at me he nodded and reached for my hand.. but I moved away and brushed past him going through the hole without glancing back at his shocked expression

Seeing two black heeled shoes I held back a groan of annoyance 'of course she is everywhere.' I could hear her shuffling around with something up above my head

A gross squelching sound happened and I raised my eyebrow wondering what exactly she was doing, after a minute or so her heels started to head away from the counter as she walked across the room with her back facing us

I knew mono was just behind me because I could feel his stare on my back, moving forward quickly when the teachers back was turned I hid underneath the next drawers

Mono slid in besides me and continued to try and make some sort of eye contact with me but I refused to meet his stare with my own, I kept my gaze upon the teacher as she opened a cabinet door

My eyes widened gradually when she pulled a knife out, she set it down and opened a drawer reaching her hand inside of it she pulled out an even larger kitchen knife 'what the other one wasn't big enough for you?'

Suddenly her head turned over her shoulder peering around almost spotting me observing her, I was yanked further into our hiding spot by mono who seemed kind of pissed at my mistake

I could hear the teachers heels clank has she finally moved away still most likely gripping onto her large ass knife, letting out a breath of relief I turned to follow where she had left

But mono's hand gripped onto me as he pulled me down beneath him "what is your deal?" He spoke quietly I looked up at him and raised my eyebrow "what? Stop speaking nonsense! We have to keep moving." With that I pushed myself up and moved away

Slipping through a half open door My eyes darted to the new surroundings, finally it dawned on me 'im in a human biology room..' the glass jars were filled with organs and other things

Feeling sick to my stomach I peered around for any type of exit, seeing none I started to climb up near the glass jars with reluctance

Looking down I saw mono heading up as well following my lead even though he seemed rather down 'he's fine..'

Waiting for him to reach me I looked behind the jars to see what she was doing only to feel sicker when she was holding bits and pieces of organs of some sort

When she turned her back we both took our chance speeding forward to the next area of cover I knew my heart was beating in my chest with anxiety and exhaustion but I had to ignore it

The teacher continued her little task of placing the organs into the mannequin, we continued to hide and move only when her back was turned to us

She started to write on the chalkboard with some pent up aggression, probably from getting her head hit with a flying vase.. no regrets.

We both saw an open space the we needed to jump through, as the teacher continued to scribble unreadable things onto the board we jumped through the space landing quietly

Seeing a bookshelf in front of me I started to quietly pull myself up, reaching the top I went through another hole 'so many random spaces'

There was a small drop but it was no problem, landing on my feet I moved away just incase mono would say something cheeky like he usually would when I was beneath him

Pushing through a vent I saw a ton of dolls each doing their own sort of thing, mono stood by my side and picked up a hammer that was laying by his feet

I watched him drag it over to the first doll that was drawing an eyeball of some sort with her chalk he swung his hammer onto her head smashing her to pieces

The other doll which heard the commotion started to run over while making strange sounds mono started to head towards it but I nudged him over and lifted my foot up kicking the doll straight in the head

Watching its face break and fall off I smirked at my accomplishment, mono looked at me in surprise but continued to move on while dragging his handy hammer

The wood creaked beneath him has he moved along smashing any of the dolls that he encountered into pieces of nothing 'he looks really hot doing that- no.' Blushing pink I groaned at my thoughts

An unfortunate doll popped out of a locker right next to me, thinking quick I grabbed a nearby book and smashed it over the dolls head "hope you learned something from this!" I chuckled dropping the book over its unmoving body

We moved forward walking through a new doorway, spotting two toilets and a sink I knew it was a bathroom, trailing my gaze over I saw two dolls stringing something up with a rope

Hearing a gasp come from mono I looked up quickly also opening my mouth in shock when I saw six hanging from the ceiling, the dolls started to dance immaturely and mono broke them quickly

I stared up at six still in shock mono broke the board that was holding her up, she started to fall but before she hit the ground I caught her 'that was close' I carefully set her down

Watching her twitch slightly before sitting up, staying quiet I saw mono reach a hand out to her helping her stand upon her feet after a few seconds I spoke up "are you okay..?"

She looked at me and nodded "yeah.. just a little dizzy"

[wildstar25]

for the ask meme: do every number divisible by 7

question list

7 - Favourite Dye

toss up between Dalamud Red and Gunmetal Black. I love how the red looks on Arsay, its the perfect shade for her, but I also enjoy how a pot of gun metal black can make most items look like like a shiny black leather which is equally fun on her.

14 - Favourite Raid

In terms of story I think so far the eden raids have been the most engaging to me... aaa but I also really really love the omega raids story as well.... Pandaemonium was a fun story too with a payoff to something i never thought we'd get.... The version of the crystal tower raid series that lives in my head is also very important to me... mechanically i think the arcadion raids have been the most fun for a first tier. Im always pretty happy to get Thaleia in roulette because of the vocal performances. Generally getting orbonne or the last two neir raids is always fun too.

21 - Starting class

Arcanist!

I was honestly surprised I picked it to start myself, generally I really love the fantasy of playing an archer over a caster, but I really wanted to start in the port town of Limsa over the other two city options. I love seaside towns =w=

In the Arsay canon she does initially come Limsa with the directive to go straight to the arcanist guild. Her directions from Emrara was "it's the first guild off the docks you should see". Unfortunately, the ship Arsay was on laid anchor on the other port of Limsa. So when Arsay asked the shady looking Roegaden standing outside of a building entrance if that was the guild room, he let her in thinking she was a new recruit to the dutiful sisters. One conversation later and suddenly Arsay was inducted into the rogues guild. It actually took her a few days of running around the la noscea area before she finally had the time to show up in the arcanist guild and get assigned to a mentor.

28 - Which class do you want to see added next? HMM this is a tough one because viper kinda was the class I thought I really did want in the game. Aesthetically at least. But I kinda had a bad time trying to figure it out for myself when dawntrail came out and it really shot my confidence while playing it :') I want to give it another shot but I also can't help but feel bad playing it in group content. I also still feel like I need to practice ninja more before anything else...

but that doesn't answer the question whoops. I still think green mage should show up eventually in the game. I don't think I would play it, but it would be interesting to have a casting class that works primarily with buffs and debuffs/DoT skills.

I'm happy beastmaster is getting added, shame it'll be a limited job but I can understand it might get a little OP depending on how they design it.

[blueiight]

whew this conversation on misogynoir and claudia. if there's one character where there's no legitimate reason to hate her it's claudia. she's literally the embodiment of has never done anything wrong in her life. i hope someone (not me 😩) explores the childism angle wrt to claudia. because people be hating children and wanting to dominate them.

the fun of claudia's character is that she isnt a good person by any real life morals. by way of her youth, she could not develop enough understanding of complex moral codes [which is even more prominent w/ claudia being turned @ the age of 5 in books but even then.. ik at 14, i was hardly the pinnacle of morality and maturity, i was reckless & destructive, and did not understand consequence until it kicked my ass]. the moral dilemma of the actual brutality of vampirism is something shes certainly better at disassociating from than louis simply bc she was too young to understand right & wrong.. as iwtv novel said and the title of ep4 is, it is the reckless pursuit of blood w/ a child's demanding in ep4 that leads claudia to killing & disposing of bodies recklessly, a hurricane hitting lifting the bodies up, and her leaving. even tho shes a 20 something woman, lestat x louis tried to give her a second [or her first] childhood, and most importantly, her brain is permanently metasized w/ the thought patterns & responses of a poor 14 year old girl who came out of a fire on the verge of death. she leaves bc she cognitively is unprepared for & does not want to deal w/ the consequences that come with exposing this household of interracial gay dudes w/ a creole chid during the jim crow days to heightened police scrutiny. the question w/ claudia [& armand, and all these creatures] is that can u recognize their capacity for cruelty, the tragedy & loss of agency/life done upon them and still sympathize with them? for claudia, people already had a 50/50 view of her in vc fandom for 'getting in the way of the ship' esp w/ her oedipal [mutual] dynamic w louis, but in amc show, the relationship's certainly changed on louis's end. i cant say amc louis has the capacity to long after any woman much less claudia in that way, but there is a sense of [co]dependency on a black girlwoman thats much more interesting here. i got a post on that somewhere lol. im not sure what childism means but im guessing it refers to the denial of humanity children face by adults, and i definitely find that true. lestat and louis both want to keep claudia preserved in their memory as their little girl, lestat even moreso when claudia begins to question & challenge his authority as the patriarch.. louis picks & chooses when to regard claudia as a grown woman [saying shes almost 33 to lestat when she comes back, and when she cooks up the plan to kill lestat, evening himself out to be merely one of lestat's creations when he asks "can the children kill the father" to ease his guilt for his love and his hate for their maker, their abuser, his husband, alladat] and when to regard claudia as his child [even in the modern day when he talks about her, being protective of her diaries in the face of the white interviewer/audiences]. fans saying 'yea lestat, claudia should stay out of ur lovelife' is hilarious cuz lestat dragged claudia back into their lovelife in the permanent role as their child, when she wanted to leave in ep6, and made her to keep louis attached to him [cuz he thinks louis couldnt keep loving him otherwise]. shes a rhetorical device in the marriage: lestat loves her cruelty, louis loves her innocence, bc those aspects of claudia remind them of [how they see] themselves. misogynoir & childism, as u word it, may play into fans’s disinterest but also favoring an interpretation of claudia within the lines of their preferred party btwn lestat x louis, which is also why i giggle to myself when ppl tag claudia w/ either one of their surnames

[roseate-felidae]

This blog is mostly just my pets, some art and reblogs of things I enjoy.

Temporarily disabling ask option. Due to Gaza donation ask spam.

Please note- I do not agree with any creator/author/whoever who causes harm or discrimination to anyone. Liking a fandom does not mean I agree with any immoral behaviour of its creator. If we stopped liking a show because of this, we would never enjoy anything again at this rate.

I also do not want to participate in toxic fandom behaviour or callouts.

Please do not ask/tag for me to boost, donate or reblogs to any causes/charities/donations. This is my personal pet blog with some fandoms and art thrown in. I do not earn much money nor do I ask of anyone viewing or following my blog to donate to anyone/myself. Regardless of the topic.

Thank you.

Some fandoms I enjoy-

Watership down

Five nights at Freddy's

Five nights at Freddy's fangames- five nights at Candy's (3 is fave), The joy of Creation, Knocking on Heavens door, for example.

Pokémon

Vampire the masquerade (mostly clan Nosferatu)

Coraline

Night in the woods

Nameless cat by kotaba games

Gravity falls

Over the garden wall

House of the dragon

Little nightmares

Cult of the lamb

Black butler/ Kuroshitsuji (especially the shinigami)

Other interests commonly seen on blog-

Rabbits and sometimes other lagomorphs

Cats

Dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals

Colour mutations (sometimes other genetics) of animals

Animal biology

Paleontology

Vulture culture

Mythology and folklore linking to rabbits or cats

The pets I own are tagged as "my pets", art I have made is "my art". Names of the pet also tagged.

Reblogs are tagged as "reblog" and "not mine"

This blog is a Safe space for LGBTQA+, Trans people, Non-binary, all genders, all Races, Neurodiversity and the Disabled (mental and/or physical).

My Cat and Rabbits (my only pets currently)

Below the read more

Zoe

Tortoiseshell and white domestic shorthair cat

Birthday is 18 November 2023, had since 7 weeks old

Likes- crinkly foil balls, feathers, playtime, and sleeping on me, catching moths/flies/spiders. Wet food in jelly or gravy. Head pets and forehead kisses.

Dislikes- picking up, me going to work, burrito-ing, nail cutting, strangers, vets, pet carrier, waiting for playtime. crunchy food.

Her mum, brother and sister were white. Her dad was a classic tabby and white. Her other brother was black and white.

Second cat, first cat I've spayed. Zoe is indoors only, she is allowed outside in a harness with my supervision.

Juno

Black self Mini rex doe.

Birthday is 23rd July 2022, had since 14 weeks 6 days old.

Likes- Pepsi the rabbit, Kale, chewing thick clothes and lounging fully stretched out. Will happily greet you multiple times when exercising. Kisses sleeves occasionally. Likes to stand on my chest (when I'm laid down). Chews toys.

Dislikes- head pets in the open/outside her bed, other rabbits (she's intact) that are not Pepsi, non leafy greens, things/medicine touching her face or mouth.

Is a pet and retired brood doe. Partners- Oreo (Aunt's black otter broken mini rex). She is a retired brood doe due to carrying a recessive gene for malocclusion.

One of my most cherished memories was her trust in me. When I first obtained her, she hid behind me, when she was scared. When she couldn't (I was laying down) she jumped on my chest for "safety".

Amber

Yellow Dutch doe.

Birthday is 13th October 2021, had since 9 weeks, 6 days old.

Likes- head pets (body pets are inferior), grunting with joy, will try any food, kisses. licking my arm, face, hand, basically anything near her. Destroying toys.

Dislikes - not getting pet, sadly cage aggressive, other rabbits (although she is spayed). Not getting attention.

Is a pet. First rabbit I Spayed.

Is the friendliest rabbit I have ever met, and I've owned 13 rabbits and four lively bunny kits. Will literally lick you until you move away. Biggest dream is forever head pets.

Pepsi

Black self mini rex doe

Birthday is 10th September 2023

Likes- her mum (Juno), Squishing her mum (mostly stepping on her head), kale and destructable bunny safe toys.

Dislikes- going to the vets for teeth trims and health checks.

Very friendly baby rabbit.

sadly, she was born with dental malocclusion. This resulted in an underbite and molar spurs. She goes for bimonthly incisor trimming. If her molar spurs worsen and cause injury, she will need to be euthanised. Currently, she has managed to grind down her molar spurs. So, there is hope for the future.

Jasmine

Black Himilayan Netherland dwarf doe

Birthday is 6th June 2021, had since 14 weeks, 2 days old.

Likes- loafing in her bed. Chinning toys and being left alone. Ignoring toys (occasional nibbles). Likes rocket and kale. Likes to sit on people's collar bone for "safety".

Dislikes- being pet, being handled (all while complaining audibly), Hands in her bed area, having her bottom or scent gland cleaned, Kisses. Other rabbits (is intact). Is very grumpy rabbit overall.

Is a pet. First Rabbit I Vaccinated. Cannot be spayed due to risks from small size, poor appetite and age past 2 years leading to higher risk of complications and irreversible Gi stasis.

Was in the woods for 23 days after escaping her hutch. Only would try greens after that time coincidentally.

Least favourite rabbit due to dislike of Netherland dwarfs, skittish temperament and overall grumpiness.

Only got as was told by parent to have nethie or no rabbits at all (at time we thought they were friendliest due to Hairoo and Jack the nethies, Caramel the Dutch mix was aggressive in comparison).

[ichigoaini]

Magazine pages from Yasuyuki Okamura’s debut

+ translations

“In 1987: a singer to look out for– Yasuyuki Okamura”

An ideal type of guy: It's safe to let a girl who says she wants a kind and artistic guy to fix her, after experiencing love about a hundred times. The type is a girl who appears cold at first but is actually a good person. It's better to deal with someone like that after becoming more mature. In 1987, a beautiful egotist stirs up the world.

More pages and manuscripts under the cut ~

Appearing larger on stage is an extremely important talent for musicians. Superstars like Mick Jagger, David Bowie, and Bruce Springsteen are all just a little over 170 centimeters, not particularly tall by Western standards. However, on stage, they appear larger than life. When we saw Okamura before us during this photo shoot, he seemed much smaller than the stage image, despite being 178 centimeters tall. Yet, on stage, Okamura appeared like a giant, almost 190 centimeters tall. His debut happened on the massive stage of the Budokan, where he showcased an unusual presence for a newcomer. What will happen when his confidence and popularity as an artist further develop?

Debut Q&A

Q1: what is the origin of your name? I don’t know

Q2: date and place of birth? August 14 1965, Kobe

Q3: height, weight? 178, 58

Q4: Family structure? father, mother, younger brother

Q5: what were you called as a child (nicknames)? Pink Panther or Yacchan

Q6: Hobbies or pastimes? Long phone calls

Q7: Favourite sport? Basketball

Q8: favourite food? Egg

Q9: food you don’t like? Salad that has fruit

Q10: favourite colour? purple and black

Q11: Blood type personality? Type B, cute guy, but narrow-minded

Q12: Average hours of sleep every night? about 4~6 hours

Q13: what do you wear when you sleep? nothing

Q14: average amount of money spent every month? not sure

Q15: what do you spend it on? also not sure

Q16: If you could buy anything, what would you buy? Love

Q17: the thing you want most in the world right now? Love

Q18: the most important thing to you currently? Love

Q19: do you have any weird habits? I don’t know what you mean…

Q20: are you superstitious? nope

Q21: what is attractive in a girl? when she says things like “I like you” I go crazy

Q22: what would an ideal date be? Disneyland

Q23: tell me, how do you pick up girls? I’ve never actually made a pass at a girl before.

Q24: when and where was your first kiss? I'm not going to tell you.

Q25: Were you shocked? maybe.

Q26: what do you say when you get rejected? “if you leave me, the meaning of my life disappears”

Q27: has love ever made you cry? maybe.

Q28: what would you do if you were born a woman? I don’t know

Q29: what do the women you like wear? anything sexy (in my opinion)

Q30: who do you admire? Seiko Matsuda and Jack Nicholson

Q31: who is your rival? Akina Nakamori

Q32: the saddest thing that happened after your debut? nothing!

Q33: the happiest thing? when I went to the record shop and my own song was playing

Q34: what would you be doing if not music? I don’t know

Q35: the first record you ever bought? Beautiful Sunday

Q36: if you could only bring one record to a deserted island, what would you take? My own.

Q37: most watched TV programmes? Sanma no Manma (a chat show)

Q38: a role (in TV or a film) you would like to play? the role of a person in love

Q39: a place you’d like to visit? a girl’s room

Q40: have you experienced a severe injury or illness? no

Q41: memories of childhood pranks? I was a stupid kid, so I never thought of ever doing that.

Q42: Somebody who you can’t forgive? somebody who’s phony.. Well, not really.

Q43: if you could leave only one thing in a time capsule? a video of myself

Q44: what will you be doing in 5 years time? I’d like to perform all around the world

Q45: if there were 3 minutes until the end of the world who would you call? a girl who loves me

Q46: Finally, anything you want to say? Listen to “OUT OF BLUE”

Yasuyuki Okamura’s debut at the Budokan: “I want people to take the title 'YELLOW' in their own way when they hear it”

With his debut between last year and this year, it is safe to say with no exaggeration that Yasuyuki Okamura is one of most promising newcomers in the music industry… The interest in his work was sparked by him providing songs for Misato Watanabe and Koji Kikkawa among others. His first stage appearance was at the Nippon Budokan, shortly after the release of his debut single “OUT OF BLUE” (EPIC Sony). Despite the unusual format of a guest appearance at the public radio event, it was a success from the outset. He acted like a “show-off” but had a kind of “star” glamour.

“A debut show at the Budokan is something you’ll never experience again, and it’s a very special experience. I’m interested in doing more shows, because many people lack showmanship: the spirit is the best sense of the word.”

Okamura’s long-awaited debut album “YELLOW”, released in March, had been in the works for 10 months. Apart from some assistance with lyrics and arrangements, the music is all his own, self produced. In fact, this was apparently the reason for the album’s delay in completion.

“I was originally going to have someone else to write the lyrics: but when I did, the words didn’t really suit me. And so I wrote my own, I worked very hard but I can’t just leave it to someone else. If you don’t sing what you think, or what you think about yourself, you won’t inspire any affection for the song itself.”

His songs are filled with a quiet anger. In the flood of modern information and world affairs it sounds like a cry of “I won’t be fooled.” The problems plaguing the Middle East and famine in Africa are all sung about on an everyday level, transmitted through the brown noise of TV. However, there is a strong sense that the message is not being said out loud, but rather it is internally understood. “I don’t mean to sound like another 60s douche, but I’m not sure what I can even do about it. So naturally I have to be a bystander… There are a hundred different ways to receive the news, if that is the case, then it’s not for me to tell them to do this or that, but rather to leave it to themselves to understand. The title of the LP is “YELLOW”, I want everyone who hears it to take it in any way they want, so that’s why I gave it this title. It’s vague but I think it comes across well, though.” For example, the track ‘Water Bed’ on the LP interpolates The Beatles’ ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ lyrics.

Yasuyuki Okamura will hold a one-man concert at Shibuya Public Hall on 22nd of April.

Images source: https://twitter.com/Limited_Night_/status/1241929114879025152

[hayleythesugarbowl]

You Can’t Change the Past || a short story inspired by elena of avalor

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ summary: Jacques, Chancellor of Emelda, plagued by regrets, is used to helping his cousin run her kingdom. But when he meets some ghosts of his past and a villain returns is he ready to face it all?

word count: 6k

warnings: the formatting is a little funky!!

a/n: ok so i know i usually post x reader fanfiction but this is a short story i wrote when i was 14 (see also this cover art i did when i was 14) and I recently came upon it so i figured i’d post it here for you guys to see inside of young-me’s mind (I haven’t completely read through it since then so keep that in mind). this a very loose ripoff of elena of avalor so please also keep that in mind. little me didn’t quite understand the word copyright so we’ll just call it a little elena of avalor fanfic with name changes!! if you aren’t familiar with eoa, even better. forget i said any of that stuff about copywriting and just enjoy this fic that I myself made up entirely and marvel at my creative abilities. either way, let’s laugh at me together!! all jokes aside, all credit to the writers of Elena of Avalor, this is by no means my own thing. also i do apologize this is so long, you have my full permission to skim. i implore you <3💌🍓🩰

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cold, empty, lifeless, Emelda was a small, mystical kingdom just outside of one of Spain’s main cities. It was spring, and normally Emelda was beautiful, lush, enchanting, and had crowded streets full of busy merchants and giddy tourists. But to anyone who had never seen this once flourishing city, it looked deserted as if no one had lived in it for many years. It was as if one busy day, everyone had fled suddenly, leaving everything forlorn. Hardly any people were in the marketplace other than the occasional runaway or stiff guard. Dark shadows filled the streets and not one sound could be heard. The only place that seemed to show any signs of life, was the elegant palace that sat on a hill overlooking the town. This palace was beautiful with marble walls and a sparkling, refreshing looking moat surrounding it. Tourists who walked into this castle were always dazzled by its display. It looked dignified, but cozy and inviting, or it used to. Now the palace was bare, dull, and even sinister. This is because the woman who now sat on the throne liked things bare, dull, and even sinister. This woman’s name was Francessi. Francessi’s appearance matched her evil disposition. Her pine green dress stuck tightly to her slender body. Her long black hair fell below her waist and crowded her pale pinched face. Francessi’s eyes were a dark, dark piercing green. A wand was clutched tightly in her hand. Francessi gazed at her castle in triumph. After she took care of the king and queen, she had all the guards take anything with any trace of cheer, or bright colors out of the palace. Francessi was ruthless. She was unforgiving. She had no mercy.

“Jacques!” Francessi yelled in her low raspy voice to her loyal and most trusted assistant. A man sheepishly entered the room. He stood by the cold-blooded queen’s throne ready to obey her every command. There was a hint of regret in his eyes.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

*****

“Jacques.” Jacques awoke with a start. He had barely slept that week. In fact, he had barely slept at all ever since he had taken up the job of Chancellor of Emelda, and this wouldn’t be the first time he had fallen asleep at the breakfast table.

“Jacques,” Christina said again, “I was going to take a walk around Emelda after breakfast, if you would like to come along.” Christina smiled at Jacques. She wore a flowing blue dress with white flowers painted on it. She had caramel skin and chocolate brown eyes. Christina’s silky cocoa hair was pulled into a high ponytail atop her head.

Jacques sighed, “I told you I don’t have time for useless recreational activities; there is work to be done.”

He picked a piece of lint off his jacket. Jacques wore a deep red coat buttoned up to his neck. A blue and yellow sash with the word “Chancellor” printed on it ran across his chest. His pitch-black hair hung loosely over his light brown face. Everything from Jacques’ tall black boots to his thin mustache reflected his uptight nature. Christina’s not cut out to be queen, Jacques thought. She didn’t take her work seriously, and in his opinion, nobody that innocent and naïve should be running a kingdom. At the young age of 16, Christina had recently been crowned queen and welcomed back into Emelda. After her parents were killed, and the previous queen was banished and sentenced to death, Christina was the only heir to the throne. As soon as the image of that witch entered Jacques mind, he felt a pang of guilt. He was reminded of the dream he had just awoken from. Jacques groaned. This dream had been haunting him for a year now. He had predicted that once that wretched queen was sent out of the kingdom never to return, he would shake the guilty feeling he always carried around, but still everything reminded him of that dark time.

“Well, do you maybe want to take this breakfast outside and enjoy the sunshine then?” Christina asked, bringing Jacques out of his thoughts. She looked at him with pleading eyes. Jacques had plenty of work he would rather be getting back to, but Christina looked so desperate to spend time with him that he couldn’t help but say yes. She was his little cousin after all. Jacques was also all the family Christina had left, and he understood she missed her parents. There came the guilt. Jacques knew it wasn’t his fault Christina���s parents had been killed. It was Francessi’s of course, but he still couldn’t help but feel responsible. He decided to drop the matter for now.

“I’ll help you carry the plates,” Jacques said to his cousin. Anything to take his mind off the past.

“The weather’s beautiful today!” Christina exclaimed as she and Jacques stepped out, carrying the plates, onto the front steps leading out of the palace.  Stretching out in front of them was the marble bridge that led from the castle high up on the hill, to the cozy town below. From here Christina and Jacques could see the whole kingdom laid out below them like items from a dollhouse. Jacques followed Christina’s gaze and saw that she was right; the weather was beautiful. The town was lively with people shopping and selling at the markets. Children were running through the streets carelessly, occasionally bumping into an annoyed merchant or cart full of fruit. Their laughter could be heard all the way up at the palace. The trees were just blossoming in the fresh air and a few small piles of snow that hadn’t melted were the only traces of winter. A slight wind blew through the trees and ruffled the feathers of the elegant birds.

“It is beautiful,” Jacques mumbled almost in a whisper. He sat down on the steps by Christina and continued to pick at his pancakes. For a while nobody spoke, and the two cousins just sat there and listened to the chatter of the townspeople and the chirping of the birds.

“My mother always said that if you looked down at the bustling village, and all the people beneath you, you would feel like the whole kingdom was yours,” Christina described finally.

Jacques chuckled, “I remember. Your father would always remind her that the whole kingdom was theirs.”

“And then my mother would say that the kingdom wasn’t theirs, they just watched over and protected it,” Christina narrated wistfully. She stared down at the town, “My parents always told me that one day I’d protect Emelda and keep it safe, and now I’m queen. I can’t believe it. I always imagined that I’d be as old as them before I became queen.”

And now she’s queen, Jacques thought. What he thought was that Christina wasn’t exactly protecting the kingdom, as he did most of the work.

“It seems like just yesterday you were crawling around the palace, hiding behind the curtains at bedtime,” Jacques said, instead of how much of the kingdom’s paperwork do “you” take care of?

“Old people always say things seem like just yesterday!” Christina snickered.

“Old?” Jacques challenged. At 47 with only a few gray hairs, Jacques didn’t consider himself necessarily old. Qualified to rule Emelda, yes. Old, no.

“Ok, I guess you’re not as old as,” Christina thought for a moment, “Agatha, the lady who always sells the spoiled milk and rotten fruit.”

“Or Martha the Maid!” Jacques announced playfully.

Christina giggled, “Or bitter Francessi!” Christina’s smile suddenly faded. Jacques grew quiet. The birds sang louder. “I miss them,” Christina said to her cousin. Jacques missed them too. He knew, of course, that he missed Christina’s parents more than Christina knew. “I just wish that I got to see them one last time, you know, before I was taken away for 10 years.”

“The guards took you away because they knew it wasn’t safe for you to stay in Emelda,” Jacques reiterated, more reserved now, “And they were right.”

“I know,” Christina answered, “I can only think of how different things would have gone if my parents left with me in that carriage. That reminds me, Jacques, when Francessi took over did you…”

“You can’t change the past,” Jacques interrupted bitterly, “Your parents stayed in Emelda to try and defeat Francessi and look where it got them. You said their job was to protect everyone. Well they failed, and it cost them their lives. Now you have been hastily left in charge, setting your parents’ kingdom, the kingdom they kept safe, up for failure once again.”

“You can’t change the past,” Jacques said again almost to himself, “no matter how much you wish it were so.” He walked up the stairs and shut the palace door behind him. With that he was gone.

Christina sat on the stairs in shock. You can’t change the past she repeated, as she tried to finish her pancakes.

Jacques walked through the castle doors. He hurried through the numerous rooms absently, while still obtaining good posture. Jacques scarcely looked around him. When he found himself in the throne room, he hesitated and stared at the regal looking throne sitting in the center of the room. He closed his eyes for a second, then continued walking, and didn’t stop until he reached his office.

Jacques collapsed into the chair at his desk. Work, he thought. Work always clears my head. Jacques started flipping through the pages on his desk but couldn’t stop thinking about Francessi. He looked for a pen but could only think of Christina, and as he tried to sign peace treaties with the neighboring kingdoms, thoughts of how he had blown up at his cousin filled his head. Jacques rolled his eyes. There was no way he was going to get any work done. Usually his royal duties were his favorite, and most time consuming, part of the day. Jacques wished he could just forget this whole day, but since he couldn’t, might as well try to collect his thoughts. He pondered Christina. He knew he would never do anything to harm her, at least not intentionally. Jacques remembered what he had declared to her, you can’t change the past. He was telling this just as much to himself as he was to Christina. He thought about Christina’s job as queen. Christina wasn’t going to fail Emelda, not with Jacques as Chancellor. He also knew that his cousin’s friends had all fled the kingdom or been killed, so the least he could do was help her. Jacques paused and remembered his old friend and associate, wondering where he was now.

He stared at the papers on his desk; this was going nowhere. The only thing he could think of doing was apologizing to Christina. Jacques didn’t have any better ideas, so he walked out of his office. It had been about half an hour since he had last seen his cousin, and he figured she was probably up in her room. The Chancellor had only walked a few steps when the doorbell rang. He decided his apology would have to wait. He couldn’t say whether he was disappointed or relieved.

Jacques walked rapidly down the grand stairs to the front door. As soon as he opened the door and looked at who was standing on the front steps, he wished he had ignored the doorbell completely. Standing at the door, smirking, was a man with a pine green blazer. A yellow scarf peeked out from under his shirt, like a mustard spill. His black-gray hair was slicked back, and it looked like he had put some of his leftover hair gel on his sharp goatee. Green eyes sparkling with pride, this was a man Jacques had hoped he would never see again.

“Hola,” the man said grinning, “old friend.”

“Why?” Jacques was having trouble finding his words, “Why are you here, Manuel?”

“Guess,” Manuel smirked. He stood there calmly, but his presence was sketchy, and it was unsettling.

Jacques composed himself, “Oh, I don’t know. To laugh at me? To borrow something of mine and then never return it? Steal from the queen?”

“Queen?” Manuel asked “Christina lived?”

“Yes, she lived but that’s not the point. I demand to know why you are back in Emelda.”

“Well, you know, I just thought since I’m no longer banished,” Manuel snarled. “I’d come back, visit the kingdom, take a vacation, and see my old and dear friend, El Segundo.”

Jacques adjusted his sash, “Nobody calls me El Segundo anymore; that was just my childhood nickname meaning ‘The Second’ because…”

“Because when we used to have races in the hallways of the castle, you’d always come in second,” Manuel cooed.

“Yes, well people call me Chancellor of Emelda now,” Jacques said, “because while you abandoned Emelda, and went running around breaking into people’s homes, I have been running a kingdom.”

“Abandoning Emelda and running around breaking into people’s homes?” Manuel repeated, “You know perfectly well that I didn’t abandon the kingdom, and I only stole to stay alive. If I’m not mistaken, you are the one who betrayed your kingdom, eh? If I recall correctly, you stayed in power while everybody else, including me and Christina, suffered.” Jacques stiffened. He knew there was no truth to this statement, right? “What do you have to say for yourself now, Chancellor?” Manuel mocked.

“I’ll ask you one more time, Manuel; why are you here?”

Manuel rolled his eyes, “I see you’re still as stubborn as ever. Same party-pooper attitude, now you just have a fancy-pants jacket and a custom-made sash to go with it. But if you must know why I’m here, look in the carriage.”

Manuel noticed for the first time that behind his old companion, sat a horse-drawn carriage. This carriage was stunning. It was a creamy white color with golden trim and sparkling gold wheels. The driver looked confused, as if he had just woken up and been put at the reigns. A window was carved into the side of the carriage, but a set of pine green curtains covered it so nothing could be seen inside.

Jacques looked at Manuel blankly, but Manuel nodded his head in the direction of the carriage. Jacques looked again. This time as he looked carefully, he could see something in the window. A hand pulling back the curtain ever so slightly. A pale slender hand with pine green nail polish. A familiar hand. Past the hand were a pair of dark, dark green eyes that Jacques felt were piercing him. The rest of this person couldn’t be seen, but Jacques could tell they were grinning from ear to pale ear. Jacques couldn’t see the rest of this person’s body, but he didn’t have to. He gasped. “It couldn’t be!” 

Manuel laughed triumphantly, “You’re not the only one who can partner with Francessi.”

“This isn’t possible; Francessi was banished and sentenced to death!” Jacques looked at Manuel, but he merely shrugged and leaned casually against the doorway.

“Francessi has her ways,” Manuel announced. “You know that wand isn’t just for show. You know how powerful it is, and how many lives were lost because of it.”

“Of course,” Jacques responded, “but that doesn’t explain why you’re working for Francessi.”

Manuel snorted, “Come on! You know more than anyone that Francessi has no mercy. You know that even if you try to fight her, she overpowers you. You know that no matter who you are, or what you believe in, at the end of the day you must stay alive. You know more than anyone that if you can’t beat them, join them.”

Jacques looked past Manuel at Francessi scheming in the carriage just feet away from them and shivered, “That’s still no excuse…” Jacques paused.

“No excuse to what?” Manuel continued, “Do you not remember when you used that same excuse to justify…”

Now it was Manuel’s turn to be interrupted. “Who’s there?” a voice called. The voice was Christina. She walked carefully down the stairs.

“Christina!” Manuel called, immediately changing his tone, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

Christina looked confused, “I’m sorry, have we met?”

Manuel smiled a fake smile, “I’m not surprised you don’t remember me. The last time I saw you, 10 long years ago, you were only a little girl. My name is Manuel Montoya, and I am your cousin’s oldest friend.”

“Manuel Montoya!” Christina remembered. “My parents used to invite you over for dinner almost every night.”

“The more the merrier, they would say,” Manuel added.

“Yes,” Jacques piped in, “you would always eat the food that Christina’s hard-working parents put on the table.” Christina frowned at Jacques.

“It seems like so long ago we were all sitting around the table laughing together, you know, before I was banished for 10 years,” Manuel reported, glaring at Jacques.

Christina sighed, “It seems like everyone in the kingdom was banished for a long time. Francessi caused us all much grief, but she’s gone now.” Jacques knew she was far from gone, and closer than they knew, but he didn’t feel like Christina would believe him. Not after he insulted her. Jacques thought about the whole truth and realized that there were parts of it he didn’t want his cousin to know. Besides, Manuel would probably have some scheme of his own to make sure nobody else knew that he had brought a villain back to Emelda. In fact, Jacques didn’t even know why Francessi or Manuel were here. All he knew was that Victor was shady, suspicious, and a con man. He had to figure out Manuel’s plan.

“It’s such a relief that witch is gone,” Manuel agreed, glancing over at the carriage that had brought him and his “companion” to Emelda.

Christina noticed Manuel’s glance, “That’s a beautiful carriage.”

Manuel looked around nervously, “Yes, well I’m very tired after my journey; maybe the Chancellor would like to invite his old pal in.” Jacques opened his mouth to speak, but Christina ushered Manuel in. Jacques knew Manuel just wanted to make sure Christina didn’t see the carriage, and its wicked occupant, but Christina was already showing Manuel to the dining room table. Jacques sighed, but followed them.

“…and this is where we all used to sit when my parents were done working for the day,” Christina was finishing.

“This all brings back so many wonderful memories!” Manuel said. “Which reminds me, Christina, on my way to the palace I saw a shop selling raspberries. Would you care to go and get some, and maybe bake one of your mother’s famous raspberry pies for us to enjoy later?”

Jacques figured Christina would refuse, saying that she could do that later and instead they should all spend some time together. Jacques was wrong.

“I’d love to! I’ll get going, and tonight we’ll have raspberry pie to celebrate the return of an old family friend.” Christina pranced out of the dining room towards the front door.

“I can’t wait; take your time!” Manuel called out. Jacques could tell he was impatient for Christina to leave. As soon as the two men heard the door close, Manuel folded his hands. “Alright Chancellor,” he began, “now that your ignorant cousin is gone, let’s talk business. It might surprise you to know that I’m not really in Emelda to visit an old acquaintance.” It didn’t surprise Jacques at all. He knew from the moment he opened the door that Manuel wasn’t simply here to vacation. “It may also surprise you to know that Francessi is weak now,” Manuel continued, ignoring Jacques’ silence.

Now this surprised Jacques. He frowned. Francessi, weak? He thought back to all his memories of the evil queen and couldn’t ever imagine calling her weak. Jacques might have reminded Manuel of this if Manuel had not, enjoying Jacques’ puzzled expression, kept rambling.

“Yes, Francessi is weak, which is why she needs me, and I need you.”

“Manuel, just tell me why you’re here.” Jacques was growing impatient himself.

“Ok, ok,” Manuel leaned back in his chair, “so desperate. Well I’m sure you know how it all began. Francessi took over the kingdom. Ten long years ago a powerful witch invaded Emelda and the nation suffered. She banished almost everyone. She killed the king and queen. She shut down Emelda. And when she did, I was sent out with no money, no home, and no hope.” Jacques rolled his eyes. Manuel always had a flare for the dramatic. Besides, Jacques already knew how the story Manuel was telling went and didn’t see the point in him telling it.

“Manuel, I was there when Francessi took over.”

“You certainly were,” Manuel said. “While I was trying to stay alive like everybody else, you were living in luxury. You were only thinking of yourself. You partnered with Francessi! You betrayed your family!”

Jacques gasped. He didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t partner with Francessi.”

Manuel continued, “No, you didn’t partner with her. You worked for her. You became her minion, which is exactly what I am doing now. Since you have a history with Francessi, I figured you would understand my dealing with her. After all, it was your idea.”

“It was not my idea. Do you think I don’t regret working for the woman who killed Christina’s parents?” Jacques asked. He could feel his ears burning.

Manuel ignored Jacques, “Why don’t you just calm down and let me finish my story. Anyway, after 10 brutal years enough people finally fought against Francessi and were able to overthrow her. When they did, she was sentenced to death. Banished, just like everyone else. She was weak. Well, I found Francessi and agreed to get her out of her punishment if she would let me assist her. I only wanted to stay alive, and so did she. Once I started to carry out Francessi’s orders, I found out the reason Francessi was weak. She didn’t possess her wand. The only reason why she couldn’t come right back and take over Emelda, was she didn’t have the wand that did all the work. If she had her weapon, you and your dim-witted cousin would be exiled, or worse. That is, unless you decide to support Francessi to get out of your mess again. The bottom line is, Francessi needs her wand. Which brings me to the plan. The part that involves you. Francessi has been looking all over the country for a material, a kind of jewel that can replace her old wand. So far, we haven’t had any luck. Until we came to Emelda. Francessi believes she has found the material that will work. The deep blue sapphire on Christina’s crown.”

Jacques paused for a moment to take all this in. Learning that the only thing stopping Francessi from stealing the kingdom was a crown that sat in the Royal Treasury, was more than unnerving. He thought back to that morning, and everything that had happened seemed petty now. What Jacques didn’t want to think about was how Manuel’s behavior seemed familiar. Desperate, revengeful, trying to stay alive, doing the bidding of an evil queen. Jacques could see parts of himself in Manuel’s plan, and he didn’t like it at all. What Jacques thought of instead wasn’t any less upsetting. Christina’s crown had belonged to her mother. He knew she wouldn’t hand it over to Francessi, and he told Manuel so.

“Oh, I don’t think you understand,” Manuel replied, “nobody’s handing over anything. Christina can’t know that Francessi is here. Why do you think I sent her to get those fake raspberries? No, Christina is not going to give Francessi her crown. I am. I will give the crown to Francessi, right after someone gives it to me. You. You are going to steal Christina’s crown.”

“I will do no such thing.”

“Oh, but I think you will,” Manuel countered, “because if you don’t steal that crown for me, old friend, I will tell Christina the truth. The truth about you. The truth about how you betrayed her. The truth about how you conspired with the enemy.”

Jacques froze. Steal from Emelda or tell Christina how he abandoned Emelda. Both seemed like betrayal. He would like to say Manuel wouldn’t dare, but he wasn’t sure.

“Speechless, El Segundo?” Manuel asked, “Well how about this, I’ll give you until tonight to make your decision. If you don’t give me the crown by tonight, I’ll expose you and all your secrets to your dear cousin. I’ll give you some time to think it over. Decide wisely.” With that, Manuel strutted out of the room. Jacques could hear the front door shut and the sound of the horse-drawn carriage rattling away. He figured Manuel probably had stolen a hut somewhere to wait with Francessi while Jacques thought things over. But he would be back. Back with Francessi in time for Jacques to deliver Christina’s crown. Or not; not if Jacques told the truth.

Jacques thought about Christina, looking in the market for raspberries she would never find. He sighed. He pictured the crown sitting in the Royal Treasury, and then he thought of the decision he had to make by tonight. Jacques imagined Christina’s reaction upon being told her only family member had abandoned her in order to gain power and security. He cringed. Stealing wouldn’t be so bad. Christina was out in the village, so she wouldn’t catch him. But then he remembered what would happen if he stole the crown. Francessi would use the sapphire on it to create a new wand, gain power once again, and take over the kingdom. What would become of him then? Jacques figured as a last resort he could, perhaps, work for Francessi again. He didn’t like to think that he could be persuaded to join a villain so easily, but he wouldn’t join her, right? What would happen to Christina? Emelda? He couldn’t imagine knowing he was the cause of Francessi’s redemption. Especially after what had happened last time. But then he thought of Christina. Innocent Christina not being able to trust him. Would he be fired from the position of Chancellor and not be able to do the kingdom’s work? He had no idea what to do.

Jacques stood up from the table. He decided to walk towards the Royal Treasury and think. Jacques opened the grand treasury doors that towered over him. When he stepped in, he was blinded by the sparkling jewelry and treasure laid out in cases, stands, and tables. The large windows let in all the shining sunlight. Amid all these valuables was Christina’s crown. It sat in the middle of the room on a grand podium made of solid gold. The crown sat majestically in the room, the light dancing off its deep blue sapphire. Jacques had been in this room before, but not often, and he was dazzled by its charm. He took a couple unsteady steps toward the crown. When Jacques was close enough to see his reflection in the crown’s jewel, he frowned. The man looking back at him looked troubled, like he had been 10 years ago. He wondered if Christina was right about him being old. Jacques took a deep breath. He took his hands out of his pockets and gently lifted Christina’s crown off the podium. Jacques held it carefully in his hands and felt its weight. He walked out of the treasury and headed toward his office to figure out what to do next. Jacques opened the door and standing there staring at him was Christina. He jumped, almost dropping the crown that had belonged to Christina’s mother. He anticipated that Christina wouldn’t be back for at least another hour. Jacques was caught.

“What are you doing with my crown?” Christina was as surprised as Jacques.

Jacques was stuck. “I was just…taking it out to clean it, as part of my job as Chancellor of Emelda.” He hoped this would work. Lucky for him Christina was trusting. Trusting for now.

“Oh, ok then. Well, I’ll let you get back to it. I just got back from town; I didn’t find the raspberries. Hey, where’s Manuel?”

“He, uh, went to the house he is staying at while in Emelda. He said he was exhausted.”

Christina nodded slowly. Jacques hurried past her, leaving her standing at the door to the treasury. Once Jacques was in his office, he locked the door and slumped into his chair for the second time that day. He set the crown down on his desk and examined it. He had stolen the queen’s crown. It didn’t feel right, even though he hadn’t actually left the palace with it. Manuel would be back tonight, waiting for Jacques to hand over the crown. He had time to think about what had just happened and what would happen, but he didn’t want to. He got up and flopped down on his bed. Francessi could take over Emelda again, he thought, and then he was out cold.

Jacques awoke to the sound of a low rumbling coming from outside. He thought it was thunder. It was Francessi. That was worse. The sun was just rising over the mountains. Night had passed. Jacques was late, but so was Manuel. Jacques watched the carriage pull up to the front of the palace. He sat up. The crown was still on his desk. Regret filled him. Grabbing it, Jacques walked down the stairs reluctantly. He hid the crown in one of his pockets right before opening the door. Manuel was there staring at him.

“We meet again.” Manuel rubbed his chin. “Have we made a decision?” Jacques had made a decision. He decided that he wanted Manuel out of Emelda. He decided that he didn’t want Christina to find out about his betrayal, and he decided that stealing the crown, and helping Francessi once more, was the wrong thing to do. Jacques had made many decisions, just not the one Manuel was looking for.

“Well,” Manuel waited, after Jacques didn’t answer him, “are you going to hand over the crown?” Jacques didn’t answer once more, he just straightened his back and grabbed onto the item in his pocket. He pulled the crown out of his coat and showed it to Manuel.

Manuel beamed, “Good decision, partner, good decision. I’ll be taking this,” he announced pulling the item from Jacques’ grip. Jacques looked at the floor. Helpless, he thought. The same feeling he had tried to avoid the last time he helped Francessi. “Well,” Manuel said, as he examined the crown, “I can’t keep Francessi’s waiting.” He walked over to the carriage and drew back the curtain for the first time. There was Francessi, pale, powerless, and staring daggers at Jacques. Francessi’s hair had turned from black to pure white. She was older than the last time Jacques had seen her, but so was he. Anything Jacques wanted to do; it was too late. Manuel handed Francessi the crown. She cackled and broke the sapphire off the crown and threw the rest to the ground shattering it. Francessi pulled out her old broken, dusty wand and stuck the sapphire on top. The wand illuminated the carriage. Francessi let out another sinister laugh and stepped out of the carriage. The wand worked fast. Francessi’s hair immediately turned a dark black, like ink being poured onto a blank page. Her wrinkles faded, and she drew up to her full height. It was transfixing, but terrifying to watch. Francessi walked up to Jacques, who took more than a few steps backwards.

“Thank you, Jacques.” She smirked. “I couldn’t have done this without you. As soon as the kingdom is mine once more, I will make sure to reappoint you as my royal assistant!” Jacques didn’t know what to feel. Terrible, relieved, guilty, petrified. Francessi started to say something else, probably about herself, but at that moment Christina walked into the doorway. Jacques felt history repeating itself in many ways. Christina screamed.

“Hello Christina, enjoying your job as queen?” Francessi said, “You won’t have it for long. What do you say you hand it over to me?” She pointed her wand at a frightened Christina. All Christina managed to get out was How? “How?” Francessi responded, “Why don’t you ask your cousin. We couldn’t have done it without him.” Christina soon realized that “we” meant Francessi and Manuel. She gasped at Manuel, but he just shrugged and leaned against the carriage.

“Jacques, what is she talking about?” Christina asked. Jacques looked at Christina. She looked back, but Jacques couldn’t answer her.

“I’ll tell you what she’s talking about,” Manuel piped in, “Jacques gave the kingdom to Francessi. He stole your crown and gave it to me. That is how her wand is back to its former glory. He was afraid the truth would come out if he didn’t steal from you, but the truth always has a way of coming out anyway. Christina, when Francessi took over this land 10 years ago, you and I, along with all the other Emeldians, suffered. But Jacques stayed in power. Your cousin answered Francessi’s every command in order to stay in Emelda and avoid being hurt. He betrayed you and everyone else in this kingdom. Some Chancellor.”

Christina looked at Jacques, “Is this true?” Jacques didn’t even care that Manuel had broken his end of the deal; he just needed to figure out what to tell Christina. Jacques opened his mouth to speak, but Manuel beat him to it.

“Of course, it’s true! And look, he’s let you down again, all because he was too afraid to face the truth and fess up to you. Well it’s over now, Francessi will take over Emelda once again, and this kingdom will fall!” Christina looked at Jacques and then turned away. She burst into tears. Jacques looked at Manuel in despair. Francessi stepped forward again.

“Yes, Manuel, thank you but I can handle my own tyranny now. But it’s true, Jacques is a traitor,” Francessi revealed, her hands on her hips. “Well, now that my wand is fixed, and Christina is in shock, the only thing left is to become Queen of Emelda. Now stand aside and let me finish this! Christina, unless you want to end up like your poor parents, I suggest you get out of my way,” Francessi aimed her wand at Christina. Jacques couldn’t take it. This was all his fault. All of it. There was no way he was going to get banished, but he wasn’t going to serve Francessi either.

He stepped forward and smacked the wand out of Francessi’s hand. She gave a cry of frustration. The wand landed on the ground halfway between Manuel and Jacques. Francessi started yelling at Manuel, telling him about the consequences of him not retrieving the wand. Manuel lunged for it, but Jacques beat him to it. He stepped on the wand, shattering the sapphire into thousands of tiny pieces. Francessi looked wildly at Jacques but as soon as the wand broke, she fell to the ground, crippling to the old woman she was without the wand to give her strength. Manuel hurried her into the carriage and got in, defeated.

“Until next time old friend,” Manuel said, and with that, he and his villainous boss were gone.

Jacques sighed with relief and frustration. Everything had happened so fast. Francessi was no longer a threat, but he still had the problem of his cousin.

“Christina, what Manuel said about me betraying Emelda, you should know that I only…” Christina hugged Jacques.

“It doesn’t matter,” Christina said gently, “you saved me from Francessi’s wand and stopped her from destroying the kingdom again. Whatever happened in the past, well, that’s in the past. Even if you can’t change it.” She smiled at Jacques.

Jacques looked at Christina and smiled back. Maybe she wasn’t the best queen or the best at running a nation, but she made a pretty good cousin. He watched the fading figure of Francessi and Manuel’s carriage until it disappeared. Jacques looked down at the kingdom of Emelda. He looked at the enormous palace behind them. He looked at Francessi’s wand, hopelessly smashed on the ground. You can’t change the past, Jacques thought, and maybe he didn’t have to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ if you made it though all 6k of that, you deserve a medal. here: 🏅it’s not quite a recompense, but it’s close <3

[braveclementine]

Chapter 14

Warnings: None (anyone can read this story)

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. I do not condone any copying of this.

𝓘𝓣 was chaos when we got back to the familiar tower. People were rushing out with a stretcher, wearing bright colours. Pepper was running in heels behind them. They opened the car and I hopped into Bucky's lap so that they could pull him out.

Pepper was shouting orders, though it sounded hysterical. Bucky and Steve got out of the car, hurrying through the side of the building. Bucky kept me pressed close to his chest the entire time, but once we were in the building, he pulled me up closer, pressing loving kisses to my forehead.

"Gosh Blizz, you have no idea how long we've been trying to find you." He murmured in my ear.

"You were?" I mewed quietly. It had felt like years. I could feel the tiredness seeping into my tiny bones already. I needed a nice nap.

Preferably on top of Steve's head.

"Can I hold her?" Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head, holding me tighter, "I need to hold her a little longer."

Steve pouted a little, but gave Bucky what he wished. He looked directly at me, "Bucky cried for hours after they took you. I promised him we'd get you back."

Bucky only held me tighter and I felt large water droplets fall into my fur. I peeked upwards, another teardrop landing on my nose and it trailed down, lost in my fur.

"Sorry Blizz." Bucky said, wiping my fur and pulling me up even closer to his face. "I'll pull myself together, promise."

"You are already together?" I was puzzled, tilting my head a little and batting his nose with my paw.

He looked in one piece anyways. I didn't see any cracks.

The elevator doors finally opened and they strode down the hallway towards the bedroom. Steve opened the door, locking it behind them.

Bucky flopped down on the bed, carefully laying me across his chest. Steve reached over, stroking my fur. They were pressed close together and I got up, carefully laying myself as far as I could across their bodies.

Then I mewed in pain, curling up into a ball. My muscles hurt.

"We should take her down to the lab and get some tests done. See where she is hurt and everything." Steve said with a frown.

"No tests." I mewed, backing up away from Steve, cowering down into the blankets.

"No." Bucky said, picking me up gently in his hands. "Look how terrified she is, even when you mention tests. She knows we won't hurt her and she's still scared. We can't-"

"We need to know the extent of the damage so we can help her heal." Steve interrupted earnestly. "What if something is broken? We have to take X-rays at least so that we can get them to heal properly."

Bucky looked hesitant, stroking me with calm, gentle gestures. He looked down at me. "Not tonight."

"Okay." Steve agreed. "Not tonight."

"Mrs. Stark would like you both to know that Mr. Stark is in recovery now and will make it. He should be awake tomorrow morning." The robot lady I had actually missed said suddenly.

"Thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y." Steve said. "Can you ask Bruce to prepare the X-ray machine for tomorrow. We want to make sure Blizzard is okay both internally and externally."

"Yes Captain Rogers." F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

"You want to sleep with us tonight Blizz?" Bucky asked in a cooing voice as Steve slipped out of bed, undressing himself into just the short black pants and the rest of him was bare.

I carefully hopped onto his chest, curling up on him so that Bucky could do the same. Then they both slipped under the covers, putting me up between their heads on the pillow.

I laid in a comfortable position, which had taken some time to get to as everything else hurt. But once I did that, I was able to fall asleep fairly easily.

❆❆❆

𝓘 only woke up once Bucky began to stir in bed. I found that I was more or less in the same position that I had fallen asleep in. I got to my paws gingerly, wincing as my muscles hurt in so many different places.

"Do you think there are any medicines we can give her to help her with the pain?" Bucky frantically asked Steve as he took in my state of being.

Steve's eyes looked equally pained. "I don't know. That's a question for Bruce. I think we go down and see him now. It'd be bad to feed her if there's something that needs to be done on an empty stomach. She ate yesterday so she should be okay. . . I hope."

Bucky picked me up with such gentleness, I wondered if maybe I might've died and gone to Heaven. I didn't even know a human- even one as good and pure as Bucky- could handle something as small and fragile as me with that much gentleness.

It still hurt a little- as he was trying to support all four of my legs and one of them hurt to much when pushed next to the others. But once he got me all settled in his hands, I was able to stretch it out again.

His steps were even gentle, walking in a rocking way so that he didn't jolt me to badly.

The elevator ride was as smooth as ever.

"Tony's awake." Nat said as she passed by us. I guessed then that the lab that Tony and Bruce usually worked at and the place that Tony was recovering must be on the same floor.

"Thank you Nat." Steve said sincerely, glancing down at me in Bucky's hands. Nat barely gave me a second glance, hurrying into the still open elevator, before the doors closed right away behind her.

All of the sudden joy of seeing Steve and Bucky and Tony, all of the joy of being free diminished a little upon seeing the red-head. It made me remember just how I ended up in this position in the first place.

The hurt of seeing these two with a woman that wasn't their soulmate.

But I would try not to think about that anyways. It was to painful and I didn't like pain of any kind.

"Bruce first." Bucky said. "Tony'll have a fit anyways if we went to see him first and didn't take care of her."

Steve nodded and we stepped into the semi-empty lab. Bruce was behind his normal desk, and there were several machines that I recognized already.

"Oh good, you can set her down right here." Bruce said, nodding to an empty spot on the counter in front of the machine that I stood on the first day that I was brought into the Avengers tower.

Bucky carefully set me down and I decided to lay on my side for the time being. Bucky hovered with worry until Steve pulled him away and made him sit down on one of the hard plastic chairs that Tony and Bruce had placed around the room in case someone came in for a chat- which was rare.

"Alright." Bruce said, "Blizz, can you step onto the machine for me? We just want to scan for any broken bones."

I reluctantly got to my paws, trooping into the box. I decided to close my eyes against the fright. I heard the tiny lazers whir, but didn't feel anything once again.

Once the lazers whirring stopped, there was a pause, and then there was a robotic voice that said, "Front left leg fractured. Healing uneven, already in process. Minor strains on the ribs, healing in process, even. Small tear behind right ear, needs approximately two stitches, not healing yet. Bruising up and down the torso and back right leg. Healing."

"Mother fuckers!" Bucky cursed angrily behind me.

"Okay Blizz, you can exit the box now and lay back down." Bruce said quietly, and his footsteps walked away from the box.

I backed out quietly, laying right back down on my right side again. It was easier that way.

"Bucky-"

"Those complete, utter assholes!" Bucky continued to rant. His feet paced circles around his chair, becoming heavier stomps the angrier he became. "I'm going to punch every single one of those bastards faces in- starting with Fury!"

"Bucky." Steve tried again, pushing him back into his seat. "One thing at a time. You can't be running off to SHIELD. You gotta stay here with Blizzard, okay? Besides, it wouldn't do for you to show any violence, you know that. SHIELDs got you on a tight enough watch as it is. I can't lose you."

Bucky softened a little, taking Steve's hand in his. "Alright. I know. Sorry."

"I don't blame you." Steve said softly, kissing the top of Bucky's head. "I'm furious too."

Bruce came back over with a clipboard, some pieces of paper, and a set of tools that looked very pointy and not very friendly at all.

"Okay." Bruce sighed. "Things get a bit difficult from here. The stitches will be no problem. They'll be tiny and she'll be on pain meds and numbing agent anyways. The leg on the other hand is already healing, but it's healing unevenly, which will cripple her in the future. The one and only solution I have right now is to re-break it and then set it straight. That's going to be painful, even on pain meds and numbing agent. I can put her under, but there are always risks with putting animals under, especially ones that are as small as her. If she was a bigger cat, there wouldn't be as many worries."

I looked over at Steve and Bucky. They both looked uncertain.

"There's no other option at all?" Steve asked, pondering Bruce's statement.

"Not with getting it to heal properly." Bruce sighed. "I can leave it be. It'll be shorter than the rest of her legs and most cats can get around pretty well on three legs. Although, it may lead to the option of having to be amputated in the future, which then comes back to the worry of the anesthesia. She's not going to get any bigger than this."

I wasn't entirely sure what amputated was, but it sounded more unpleasant than having my leg rebroken.

"I think you should just break my leg again." I meowed up at him. "I can take it."

I got onto my paws, limping over to where Bruce was standing, his arms crossed over his chest, one thumb to the corner of his mouth. I stuck my broken leg out to him. "Just hurry up. I'm hungry."

"Shit." Bucky said, "I can't watch. Please, I can't watch."

"It's okay." Steve and I said at the same time.

"Here." Steve said, leading Bucky to the door. "Just wait out here. I'll get you again when it's done."

Bucky left the room, water glistening in his eyes. I kept my gaze on Bruce so I didn't start crying myself as Steve came back over.

"Is there anything you need me to do Banner?" Steve asked.

"Just hold her right around the middle so I can give her the pain meds. I'll do the stitches first, give it time to kick in." Bruce said, grabbing two syringes.

I shied away from them, straight into Steve's hands. "It's okay Blizz." Steve whispered softly in my ear and I screwed my eyes shut, my ears and tail twitching as Bruce gently inserted the needle into my side. I mewled, but didn't move.

"I'm sorry Blizzard." Bruce said, "The next one is going to hurt too. Steve, can you support her head. . . right there."

Steve's fingers pressed gently behind my head. Bruce inserted another needle right below my ear. It wasn't as long, but it did hurt more and I mewled in pain again.

"Okay give this four minutes." Bruce murmured. I opened one eye to see a needle and thread in his hands.

"Can't you use staples?" Steve asked, sounding fretful.

"Her head is way to small Steve. It has to be done this way." Bruce sounded sympathetic.

When the procedure was actually done under my ear though, I didn't really feel anything.

Well. . . no. That wasn't it necessarily. It was more that, I didn't feel any pain. It didn't feel comfortable of course. It felt like. . . well it felt like it ought to have hurt, but it didn't really. Like I knew it was painful, but I couldn't actually feel the pain.

Instead, it was this weird, squishy, almost light-headed sort of feeling all around my ear. Like it had become. . . bouncy? It was a very strange concept. I didn't feel as though I could move my ear though, even though my reflection showed that I was, indeed, moving it.

Steve steeled himself once Bruce put down the other implements. Even Bruce seemed nervous himself, taking many deep breaths, before he finally took my paw in between his fingers. He hesitated.

"Shit, I can't do it." He muttered, dropping his hands. "I'm to strong with the Hulk in me. I need someone else to do it."

"Like who? Tony can't do it." Steve said. "Bucky and I can't do it, neither can Nat. I don't know, maybe I could get Clint or-"

"You called?" A new voice asked.

It was a low, pleasant voice that seemed to come out of nowhere. I turned my head to see a strange man wearing dark blue robes with a red cape, come striding out of an orange circle.

"Oh." Steve finished with a mutter. "Or him."

"Yes, I'm sorry." Bruce said and I watched as he put down a phone. "I need you to break the cats leg."

The strange man blinked. "Pardon?"

Bruce re-explained everything and the man sat down in front of me. I noticed he had many scars on his hands and I figured he must be a vet. The scars must be from where several thousands other cats had scratched him.

I lifted my broken leg up again, placing it in his hand. He blinked again, looking between Bruce and Steve.

"She's smart." Was all Steve said.

The man sighed and a very strange orange glow seemed to swirl around my leg. His fingers were gentle, before there was a snap.

I mewled, throwing my head back in pain, my feet shuffling a little, but I tried not to yank my paw out of the man's hand. I knew he had to reset it.

He was very quick in doing whatever else needed to do, finally putting a tiny pink plaster thing around my leg.

I quickly collapsed on my side, panting. Tears were streaming down my fur, matting it.

"I'm sorry Blizzard." Steve whispered, stroking my head. "I'm so sorry."

"You said Fury did this?" The man asked, frowning slightly. His hands hovered, like he wanted to pet me, but didn't dare to in case I reacted badly.

"I don't think he himself did it." Nat said from literally nowhere. Her and Bucky were now standing in the entrance to the room. Bucky wasn't even looking in the room, his gazed fixed to the floor.

"More likely he had some scientists running experiments." Bruce said.

"The idiot." The man scoffed.

I decided I liked the strange man. Besides, he had cool hair. There were gray streaks in it on either side and he was very nice looking. I wondered if he liked cats.

He must if he worked with them every day as a job, right?

"Thank you Stephen." Steve said. "We were trying to figure out who was going to do it that didn't have super strength."

"Wong has me doing stupid things." Stephen said with an eyeroll. "There's been nothing life threatening on our end and one of the interns let the portal to the Pacific Ocean in. Needless to say, it's been a mess cleaning it up. I was glad to get out of the Sanctorum."

He said a few more words between himself and Bruce while Bucky fretted over me like a dotting mother or something. I was honestly surprised he didn't start licking my wounds himself.

Stephen was gone in a whirl of orange.

"Take her back to her room and give her half of one of these every ten hours with both food and water." Bruce said, handing Steve a small orange bottle with a white cap on it. "Half. And don't overload her with food. Whatever she ate yesterday was the first thing she ate in almost six days. I'm not entirely sure why she was starving herself- perhaps because she's smart enough to realize it was her only way out- but either way you need to monitor everything."

"Thank you for everything Bruce." Steve said as Bucky picked me up in his arms. He cradled, me, being careful of my now pink leg.

"It's really no problem Steve." Bruce said, waving it off. He started to clear off his desk of the machine and the other tools that he had used to help me.

Bucky and Steve started to walk out of the room, but I felt I needed to say something else to Bruce for helping me.

"Thank you! Bye!" I said, lifting my good paw and waving it.

Bruce looked up, his serious expression slowly melting into a smile as he waved back slightly, before picking up the machine and carrying it over to an empty shelf.

"Good kitty." Bucky whispered softly in my ear, kissing the top of my head.

I was home

⬅️➡️

[crosseyedcricketart]

Joan Mitchell's Barbie - Personal Work

Joan Mitchell was someone I wasn’t familiar with—not with her art, not with her, or that she existed. There was one fateful day, though, in the summer of 2021 when I went to a weird used bookstore in Chattanooga, Tennessee and found a college-level, hardcover textbook being sold for $60. So, I got the textbook for $60. On the covers, there was an abstract painting—which an off handed comment was made about “what has art come to? is this art?”—and I quite enjoyed it. The colors made sense, I liked the strokes, and I liked it. That’s it. But I personally had a thought—I’m sure a man made this, because they’re more likely to get away with this. And based off the date (and me ignoring the feminine first name), I assumed I was right. Well, I was wrong. The artist was Joan Mitchell (1925-1992), a female artist who had a sect of her works which were abstract expressionistic works. But I wouldn’t find that out for two years because I was lazy and didn’t read the painting credit on the literal second page of the textbook. It should be said, I use this textbook for everything. It’s The Gardner’s Art through the Ages 14th edition. I use it so much. And I just ignored that page.

For the next few months into 2022, I had stopped doing more expressionistic work to focus on my college work which took up a lot of my time and creativity. However, one of my professors at the time was Dana Finimore with her paintings in the gallery, being abstract, expressionism. She had told us when she was in art school, she got stupid critiques like “it’s too sentimental”, so she wouldn’t critique us like that. I thought that was an interesting statement, because if your art isn’t sentimental, I don’t think it has a point. Give me the artist, give me medium, and give me the museum lighting. In that order.

So, in February of 2022, I had an assignment to replicate a painting in my sketchbook and I’ll tell you—I took it way too seriously. I was actually shaking thinking about a critique over it. I was so strung up about it. So, I went a little crazy and took out every bit of me that I had thrown away and threw it on a canvas. And that became this painting—Untitled Pink, for the time being. And the day I got to critique, someone I knew had passed away and my professor had no bad things to say about my paintings. So. A lot of worry for nothing.

But back to the thought of “I went a little crazy and took out every bit of me that I had thrown away and threw it on a canvas.” I was a part of the generation of girls, like every generation of girls, who had to say “I’m not like other girls” because being like other girls is… meant to be bad, I guess? But when I was little, I loved Barbie, I loved pink, I loved glitter, I loved unicorns and Pegasus and mermaids and fairies and ballerinas—you get the point. I got bullied for that, though. When you’re young, you don’t realize that you’re being bullied because you’re easy pickings, but instead that something has to be wrong with you. So, I threw all that away and covered it in black and red and anger and Green Day. And I still didn’t fit in after that. And so, I covered myself in brown and beige and drank black coffee and listened to classical music. And I still didn’t fit in after that. And then there was a whole plague, so I had time to think about it. I don���t have to fit in. I’m not meant to. I’m meant to be me. That’s hard to come to terms with when you hate yourself, but I had a good bit of alone time to think about it. So.. I realized I do still like pink. I still like Barbie. I still like Green Day and glitter and black and mermaids and brown and fairies and coffee and everything else—I’m still who I was when I was 4, when I was 7, when I was 10, when I was 13 and 14 and 16 and 18 and now. I’m the same person. I might have grown, and I know I have, but I’m still me. I’m still Annie. I’m still the bad eyeliner I wore when I was 13 and I’m still the same zebra and hot pink Sketchers I wore in 4th grade. Now I just know how wear them better.

All of that is to say, I used Untitled Pink to pull all that back out. I can love pink. I can love glitter. But I can still have skill, and intellect, and interest. Then I got the whiff of the Barbie movie. A movie by a woman who doesn’t shy away from being a woman. I still have to remind myself that I’m allowed to like pink, and the resurgence of Barbie pulled that back out. I watched all those 2000’s Barbie movies. I loved all those very badly designed mini games on Barbie.com. And now that movie is out. And that is something that I’ll carry with me till I die. So, what does all of that have to do with the painting? Well, Barbie is the feminine that I’m allowed to be and should embrace what I have of that, and Joan Mitchell is the woman who kept making art and didn’t define herself as a woman artist, but as an artist who was a woman. Basically, I’m allowed to be a woman. And I will be. I’ll be the woman who likes pink and brown and black and coffee and classical music and Green Day and Fall Out Boy and eyeliner and glitter and mermaids and fairies and ball gowns and ballerinas and I’ll still wear Dr. Martens with all of that on top. And I hope you enjoy my sentimental painting because that’s what it is.

i hope you enjoyed all that, this went up early on my tumblr before my website. https://crosseyedcricket.art | crosseyedcricketart here + Pinterest

[chloearit]

// mentions of some... very bad things being done to children, csa, child murder, dubiously consensual things involving teenagers exploring their sexualities, but nothing graphic

It really wasn't a very unusual day.

I was walking the streets of Paris at night. Prometheus had been dismantled and the city was slowly returning to order. The year was 2299, I was 19, and it had been 7 years since I was forced to watch as she was murdered. I never saw any pictures of her, when I had the opportunity I didn't think I could take being reminded of her. The only place I saw her was in my dreams, a fading memory of her, always ripped away by the memory of her death, still clear and vivid as the day it happened, until I was given a vision of a different world where it had been me who died instead of her. She was given immortality, she was found by Sally, adopted and trained. I have to assume her family couldn't be found either. But there was something different about her. She wasn't haunted by my death the way I was by hers, she carried me with her everywhere she went. A memory - an alter - an introject of me who would guide her hand and protect her when she couldn't protect herself, like I had done when we were little kids. She dyed her hair blue, except for a steak of pink next to her right eye, where she'd otherwise cut her hair short. I didn't find out if there was any meaning to it, all I know is she looked super cute. She always wore headphones with big white cat-ear-like things on top, and constantly listened to music. She seemed happy. Happier than me. I kept wishing I could actually go back in time and pick that timeline. Maybe it did exist, somewhere out there, but even if reality shifting is real, it seems pretty set in stone you can only go to timelines where you are alive, and I didn't see any possibility where both of us made it out of there alive.

And then, one night, after an uneventful day, I saw her. Blue hair, pink streak, white cat ear headphones, sitting on some steps.

I stopped.

That's not even what she had ever actually looked like. She had black hair just like me when she died. It couldn't be.

Then she spotted me. And she looked at me in just the same way I was looking at her.

I stepped closer.

She stood up.

I slowly walked towards her.

She stepped down the stairs.

I came closer.

"I'm sorry, I-" She turned away.

I grabbed her arm. She looked back at me.

A long moment, we just stared at each other.

"It can't be," she finally whispered. "She would be..."

"19?"

She took off her headphones. "Lúcia?"

"Lilly?"

"Are you real?" we both asked at once.

"I am."

She was the first to burst into tears. I hugged her, like I had never hugged anyone before. Something about her didn't quite feel human, a bit too stiff in some places, too soft in others, but she was real, undoubtedly. She was here. In my arms.

We sat down on the stairs together, both a bit light-headed and dissociated.

"You're really cold," she finally said. "And you don't look a day over 14."

"You're really warm, but you still look like a child, too."

"Well, yeah, I'm... basically I'm a robot. I don't know how they did it really, I guess they kept my brain, and... and they used it to build... you know. A sexbot. And eventually I got out and it turns out I'm compatible with a lot of cybernetics! So I started modifying myself..." She looked at me. "This all sounds absolutely fucking insane, doesn't it?"

"No, not really, honestly. Um... I'm kind of... like... a vampire?"

"Okay that does sound crazier than mine." She took a breath. "Holy shit."

"Holy shit..."

"I looked for you! I swear I looked for you! But I don't think you ever told me how your name is spelled, and it's pronounced so weird-"

"I understand."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I kind of... assumed they'd just killed you too."

"Yeah, that's fair."

"And... well, you..."

"I... never left?"

"What?" She looked at me like I'd just read her mind. "Yeah... You've always been in my mind. Part of me thought it was maybe actually you, talking to me... Was it?"

"Um... no."

"Then how did you know?"

"I... wish I could explain that to you. It's a long story."

"Well, definitely tell it to me some time."

"Some time..."

Some time.

In the future.

A future... with her in it...

"For sure." I smiled like a fucking idiot and then started crying.

"Are you okay? Lu!" This time I collapsed into her arms.

"I'm okay, I'm just... holy shit. Holy shit, you're real. Holy shit, you're actually fucking here. You're not dead. And you remember me. And oh god, oh god, oh god, I never wanna lose you again! Please don't, please don't ever let me lose you again!"

"I won't. It's okay baby, I won't. I'm here. It's okay."

"I'm so sorry I didn't save you. I should've saved you, I should've! I should've protected you."

"It's okay. You did. I survived. I got out. I'm here. And you've always been there for me."

"You shouldn't have had to go through all that."

"None of us should have. But it's not your fault. You did everything you could. You couldn't have stopped it either way. You were twelve. And they were grown men."

"And you were ten. And I only-"

She closed my mouth.

"You did nothing wrong, bae. Really. You have nothing to apologise for."

She laid my head in her lap. I could hear the whirring of the mechanics inside of her.

"Please don't beat yourself up over it."

"How are you so much better at dealing with all this..." I said, looking up at her. "You're still, like, 17. And I'm pretty sure you got out after me."

"I was 13. 22...94? '95? Four years ago. Yes."

"'94. January. aged 14. right after I was turned."

"Ha! I knew it! Babyface."

"And how old are you supposed to be?" I jolted up.

She laughed. "Something around there, too, I think." She stretched out her arm as if inspecting her body, even though she was wearing long sleeves. "Real teenager-who-just-had-her-first-period vibes."

"Pretty sure those usually happen before you're a teenager."

"Wouldn't know, never had one."

"Lucky," I muttered. I hadn't even thought of that. But she was right.

She was real.

"You know, I kind of thought if I found you, and it turned out I'd just been talking to a fake you this whole time, you'd think I'm weird."

"What? No! Why would I think that? It's kind of... cool honestly. Comforting..."

"But like... what do I do with her now?"

"Keep her. Might be fun getting to talk to a different version of me."

"Huh, okay."

"Is she there?"

"What, right now? N- I mean- Yeah. But... I don't- I kinda wanna talk to you, myself, right now."

"All good."

"Thanks. - Holy shit."

"Holy shit."

Holy shit.

"So like," she took a deep breath, "How's your life been?"

"Um... oh wow. So. I was adopted. Her name is Sally Carriveau, she's a really good mom. She was a cop, quit to take care of me, she taught me how to shoot a gun. Since I'm a vampire now I'm basically immortal so I've just been... running around saving kids... and blowing their abusers' brains out."

"That's... wow! I don't really have any family, as far as I know there aren't any other robot kids like me out there."

"Oh yeah... I think we were... experiments, in making children that would never age, and could take way more abuse than real kids."

"Good to know the experiment backfired."

"Oh yeah!" I smiled. "Pretty sure we've already outlived all of the fuckers."

"You were thorough, huh?"

"Oh yeah. I was thorough."

"Good."

"What have you been up to?"

"Just kind of getting by... Maintaining a body like this is expensive, but I've had some people help me out. I tried doing sex work since that's what I'm built for, but I - well I guess I actually still am a teenager - so a lot of the people were obvious fucking creeps. They paid well enough though, I can see why those bastards did this to me. But honestly I think I just don't really enjoy sex very much regardless. I can do it for the money, but I never really feel it. And yeah, before you ask, I am equipped to physically feel it. No idea if I should take that as a kindness or if that's a feature, but that's not it. I mean emotionally or whatever, I'm just not into it. - I guess it was kind of nice with you, given the circumstances."

"It was?"

"Yes. Maybe I'm demisexual or some shit."

"Traumasexual."

"Ha! Yeah."

"I've run into the same problem though. Trying to date as an adult who looks like this... trying to imagine a future where they'll age and you won't. It's difficult."

"Whatcha into? Girls? Guys?"

"Girls. Definitely girls."

"Knew it."

"And then you also get weirdos who try to call you a creep for merely existing and trying to live an adult life as an adult who happens to look young. And not even that young. You know, there's real adults who look like this. I'm just short and thin. But you really just can't win."

"I get that."

"Maybe you've got the right idea with just forsaking sex."

"It's not a choice, it's just how I feel. If you want to feel that with another girl you should be able to feel it."

"Yeah, I know. I'm not even sure if I'm actually not into men, or if I just feel uncomfortable with them and at this point I've made being a lesbian so much of my identity I don't want to question it."

"You can still be a lesbian. The important part is who you do love, not who you don't."

"One time, I- it's a long story, but basically I ended up having sex with a guy before killing him. Dubiously consensual, on both parts, really, go figure, but that... kind of felt good. Having power over him, knowing I'd be the last girl he'd ever lay his hands on. Like, fuck, even just thinking about it again-"

"I can see that."

"Sorry, is that too much information?"

"It's fine. Probably not a lot of people you can talk to about those things."

"Not really, yeah."

We sat in awkward silence for a moment, then I asked: "So... did you have any plans for tonight?"

"No. Just hanging out."

"I wanna eat something. You probably don't consume food?"

"No."

"What do you run on?"

"Uuuuum, some hydrogen thing, same stuff they use for everything really. I can use fuel cells or I can plug into the mains, I don't really understand how it all works but it does. My mechanic can worry about that."

"I see. Well-" I got up. "I'm gonna grab something to eat, you wanna come with?"

"Yeah, of course!" She got up, too, putting her headphones back on.

"You've got to let me know what you're listening to on that later."

She nodded.

// by Lúcia

// alternate version with colour-coded text for easier reading: https://chloearit.tumblr.com/post/729915294100996096

[andrevasims]

Sims Tag

Tagged by @ho3sferatu​! Thanks ^_^

Readmore’d cause it gets a bit long :P

1. What’s your favourite sims death?

Probably fright, cause the animation is so funny like they have time to pause and check their pulse before dropping dead

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

I can tell this is aimed at TS4 haha I had to google Alpha CC to check I knew what it meant - So semi-realistic? I mean obviously I lean towards Maxis Match, but if I like how something looks I’ll use it even if it’s not from the same style.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

No, that actually happened to Klothilde because she kept eating fish and it takes so long for them to eat fish that she got fat after eating it once lol - But TS2 fat meshes aren’t even really fat, so it doesn’t make much difference to me heh

4. Do you use move objects?

Only for placing deco things, cause I don’t want to end up placing a chair or something that’s actually inaccessible and not find out until after I’ve built everything else around where I placed it

5. Favorite mod?

No Red Pause Lines, cause it’s 500x more annoying if I have to crop that out every time I take a screenshot

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

University, I pretty much got all the TS2 stuff as it came out heh

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

aLIVE, but I think about it more like how a TV show says “We’re live” or something since that’s where the game actually progresses in time

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Cirrus! There’s some close seconds, but Cirrus actually has history in my game versus just being a face I liked, and the way her parents’ genetics created the little side smirk she has that I don’t think I could recreate in CAS

9. Have you made a simself?

I did when I was 13 - I was exactly at that age where child sims felt too young to represent myself, but teen sims felt too old. I went with a child sim just for the proportions lol but yeah that was the last time I was interested in making a simself.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself?

Well to keep it TS2 themed, I think it’d be something like this:

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Um black? That’s always the default color I pick when doing any sort of dress up game

12. Favorite EA hair?

fhairshorttuckin:

It’s the only hair I’ve never fully replaced with a default, I just do a texture default

13. Favorite life stage?

Adult I guess, they just have the most stuff available to do

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Both, I like building but I like to play the lots I build. And when I’m playing, I think of what kind of builds would be fun to play, and so the gameplay also inspires my building.

15. Are you a CC creator?

Kind of? I’ve made clothing recolors, makeup, hair recolors, etc. but I haven’t done anything besides sharing lots/sims in a while.

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

Not particularly, I have mutuals that I always like seeing on my dash/activity but I’m not the most talkative person on tumblr lol

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)

2 of course ^_^

18. Do you have any sims merch?

No? lol

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Technically yeah, it’s my “personal” YT account but 90% of my videos are of The Sims.

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I used to do more semi-realistic CC, just based on what I’d accumulated and liked the look of at the time. I still have a lot of that CC in my Downloads, I just don’t use it as often anymore as more recently downloaded Maxis match stuff.

21. What’s your Origin ID?

idk, I think I have one but I’ve never shared anything for TS4 so it’s kinda useless lol

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Ooh that’s a tough one, @platinumaspiration​ comes to mind cause I really love how bright/colorful a lot of their CC is and I like a lot of the clothing/hair styles :)

23. How long have you had a simblr?

2012.............. lol

Here is the 1st post I ever made on here, it’s for TS3 and has way more straightness than my game has had in years lmao

24. How do you edit your pictures?

I explained it here sort of a few years ago, but I have a newer version of Photoscape and I don’t have access to Photoshop anymore. I still do the highlight/shadow tweaking stuff, but I use Photoscape to do that now.

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

Well obviously that’s not a question for TS2 lol but something that both TS3 and TS4 have that would’ve been cool in TS2 is careers that you can actually play/interact with instead of the sim disappearing for 8 hours.

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

Nightlife, I love everything about the themes/aesthetic/gameplay, it has objects/features I use more than any other EP to this day, it’s just exactly my style.

Tagging: @krabbysims​​ @potentialfate-sims​​ @aondaneedles​​ @simmer-until-tender​​! Feel free to ignore if you’ve done it already haha

[miss-grimwood]

for the ship headcanon ask game, i'd like to read 2, 6, 12, 14, 16, 19, and 20 (I know they're a lot choose those you like best) for Bellamione and Lou/Rose :)

Thank you so much!! I did them all!

Lou/Rose

2. Are they thinking about having a family together?

YES Rose has always want to be a mummy and Lou has always been indifferent but then Tammy’s kids adored her and she realised she actually does love kids and she thinks she wouldn’t be so terrible at parenting and Rose is SO happy when Lou brings it up to her.

6. What they would do if the other is sick?

When Rose is sick she turns into a whiny baby and Lou only enables her by tucking her up in bed and taking care of her and bringing her water and food and cold flannels and playing with her hair until she falls asleep.

I have a hc that Lou rarely gets sick but she does get injured a lot and Rose loves to take care of her she gets so excited to play nurse but Lou is so stubborn and antsy she hates staying in bed, she hates having to rest her broken bones and she’s so pouty and annoying to everyone around her (but Rose loves it)

12. What's the weirdest place they got risky at?

I feel like they have to get creative when they’re in the mood in public. Bathrooms, broom closets, back rooms, that sort of thing

14. Who likes to experiment more in their sex life?

They both like it but Lou initiates and suggests things more because Rose is a little more inexperienced

16. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

ROSE!!! She’s so insecure and shy and full of self doubt but Lou is so good at filling her with confidence. If she’s struggling with her body image Lou just picks up on it instinctively and tells her how beautiful she is and worships her body, but if she’s feeling insecure about her designs she just shows them to all of the girls and they’re all so supportive they love to hype her up

19. How they make up after a big fight?

I hate to imagine them having a proper fight so I delude myself into thinking they never would, but i think if they did they’d probably have a few days of stubborn sulking and then one would come home with flowers and apologise and they’d have a quiet night in together eating nice food and snuggling and both apologising

20. What's the freakiest thing they've done?

I feel like the breeding kink is the freakiest they’ve gone 

Bellamione

2. Are they thinking about having a family together?

I think they aren’t sure! I feel like they do a lot of talking about it and thinking about it but Hermione is very practical and wants everything prepared and set in stone before they make any decisions, and Bellatrix is hesitant about how good of a mother she’d be 

6. What they would do if the other is sick?

Hermione is a very patient caretaker when Bellatrix isn’t feeling good, especially when she gets grumpy, and Bellatrix on the other hand … she does her best, but it doesn’t come naturally to her, so she probably just supplies Hermione with tea and snacks and keeps out of the way until she’s back in her comfort zone and can be helpful again

12. What's the weirdest place they got risky at?

Probably some sick and twisted exhibitionism involving the Black family portraits knowing those two

14. Who likes to experiment more in their sex life?

I think Bellatrix has more of the ideas for things they can do, but she’s a little more casual about it, where Hermione is quite eager to try new things

16. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Ooooh! I think Hermione still has lingering insecurity from her youth about her hair and her teeth and the fact she’s muggleborn. I think Bellatrix’s smugness works in Hermione’s favour, she’d say things like ‘why would I marry a girl if she was ugly?’ or ‘You’re the only muggleborn I know that’s good enough at magic’ and she’s such a blunt and honest person that it comforts Hermione, because she knows Bellatrix isn’t one to lie in that situation

19. How they make up after a big fight?

Sex absolutely. I think they do have very big, explosive fights not super often but enough for it to be a bit of a thing, and they’re both too stubborn to apologise so they just fuck the feelings away

20. What's the freakiest thing they've done?

Probably knifeplay with Bella’s dagger

[i-luv-carl-grimes]

| a lot of you seemed to really like black out days so I’ll continue to post it<33 |

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𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰

S1 Ep2

Why?

Warning: abuse, language and lots of valance as well as gore if you are younger then 14 please don't read

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"Stay close" my dad said then looked out the window and slowly opened the door. "We've gotta make a run for it" he said and I held on to my knife not even sure if I could do anything with it

"Ready 3...2...now" he said and slowly we made our way to the car when me got the attention of 2 walkers making them all come after us. "RUN!" my dad said shooting a few but nothing happened they just got back up that was until he shot one in the head.

So that's how you kill the dead

We all made it into the car, "your hand..." my mom said and we all looked over to see a bite on the beck of my dad's hand. "Oh god" my sister said and she started to cry I tried my best to keep myself from breaking the dam in my eyes but failed

"It'll be okay, I'm sure there's something we can do" he said then opened a bag t-

"Drive DRIVE" my mom said as walkers gathered around us my father then stomped on the gas not caring about running them over. "Your a murderer" my mom said looking at my dad. "Didn't you hear what they said? THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH THERE ALREADY DEAD!" he yelled. "...you got infected...dad are you going to di-" I started but was stopped by my mather slapping me the slap was hard and full of anger. "No, we can find a way to help him" she said and I just nodded.

Rule number 1 stay quiet

-

"Shit" my dad said as the car slowed to a stop. "Where are we?" my sister asked. "A little ways from Atlanta, but we need to start walking ran out of gass, I'll carry the food you two carry your stuff and mom will carry first aid, and Rayne help me with this would you?" he said referring to his bite. "Okay" was all I said as my mom handed me some water a rag and bandages.

"There" I said and I finished wrapping up his hand. "Alrig- alright let's go" he said losing his balance a bit. "Maybe we should rest for a bit you look pale" my mom said and my father's face twitched. "I'll be fine now come on" he said grabbing the food. We then started walking.

-

"Can we please take a rest" my sister begged we had now been walking for hours and we were losing day light. "No we have to keep moving" my dad said. "My feet hurt!" she said this time in a way louder tone. "Shut the fuck up, do you not see the situation were in" father said but something wasn't right h...FUCK.

my father took another step and fell over the whites in his eyes were blood shot his skin getting paler and paler by the second I nealed down and put my hand to his four head he was buring up, and on top of that walkers were already on our track. "Mom help me" I said as I put my dad's riful over my shoulder and his arm around my neck for once in her life my mom listened and helpped him up we then stumbled onto a small cave. "Rayne, you go make sure it's safe" my mom said and Jade had already took my spot of holding dad Gun...Rayne...g-gun" my father said and I nodded taking the revolver out of his holster. "I don't even know how to shot i-" "just fucking do it Rayne stop being so pathetic" my mom scuffed and I just nodded I looked at the gun and seen my father's initials ingraved on the wooden handle. I walked over to the dark cave I picked up a rock and threw it,

It wasn't deep. I picked up my knife and my mom threw a flashlight at me I turned it on and shined it through the cave to walkers then started walking towards me and I just froze

I couldn't move…

I stood in fear till...

"Goodbye, -----" my father said letting the walkers get him.  "No!!" my mom yelled my father then fell the the floor the walkers eating him right in front of me, I felt something coming up as I covered my mouth and ran away from my mother and sister.

... He was the last person...the last person to ever say that name, my real name.

I turned to see my father stand up and walk towards me mom and sister.  "...its all my fault" I said as the walkers walked over to my mom and sister but before I could do anything my mom killed them, I then looked at my father one last time even though his guts were spilling out of him he was still moving, I grabbed my knife and walked over to him.  "KILL IT RAYNE FUCKING KILL IT!" my sister yelled acting like it wasnt our father.  "I'm so sorry" I said and lowered my knife to his head.

"I love you"

And with that, the knife had made contact with his head.  This was all my fault I sat there feeling tears down my face the a stinging pain, and another, then again, my mom was smacking me, for what I had done.

"You pathetic,  worthless, good for nothing idiot! Look what you did? he should have let you die!" my mom said but I didn't care all I could do was sit there looking over my dead father

His flannel, after a while my mom and sister went into the cave and when they did I took his flannel, it was too big for me so I wore it around my waste, I then walked into the cave to see my sister and mom eating, I was starving sure but how could I eat after what I had just done?

I killed my father

Name: unknown

Nickname: Rayne

Walker kills: 1

Living kills: 1

Age: 9