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dontgotothenetherworld · 5 years ago

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boo! rewrite (lydia x reader)

so i wanted to rewrite one of my first fics, to see how much my writing has improved, and boo! was the one that stood out to me. if you read the original, i’m sorry. i’m changing basically everything from the original except for the concept because holy h*ck was that painful for me to reread.

reader is barbara’s niece, and she enlists adam, an english teacher, to help her with her essay. unfortunately, it’s the day that adam and barbara die.

2118 words

cw: femreader. brief reference to suicide.

your eyes glazed over the shakespearean english. you couldn’t figure out what anyone was trying to say, and you weren’t entirely sure that you cared enough to try. but you hadn’t bought a no fear version of the play yet, so that had to count for something.

your teacher claimed she could tell when kids just googled a synopsis and such to write their essay, but you weren’t entirely sure. you were also scared of this particular teacher, so you didn’t really want to risk it.

you made it three more pages before giving up. you checked your phone to be greeted by a text from your friend, “we sold out of the no fears. i tried to save a copy for you but my boss wanted to sell it. sorry and good luck.” they sent. they worked at a local bookstore. the local bookstore. the only one in town.

you began to panic. it was saturday, 3:57 pm, and your essay was due on sunday at 11:59 pm. shit. you would probably be able to finish reading the book if you started now, but still remains the problem of understanding it. and all that before you even think about writing an essay, where you have to convince your teacher that you truly get all the inner complexities of england’s greatest writer, as well as applying it to your own life. shit shit shit.

you bit the inside of your lip, somehow convinced that if you just sat there and tried to figure out how you were going to get all of the work done, that miraculously you wouldn’t have to do it anymore. because that makes sense. all you need to do to solve a problem is think up the solution. no further action necessary.

you sighed, and prepared yourself for the “i told you so”s that would inevitably come, as you texted your uncle, adam.

adam always made it known to you that if you ever needed any help in english, that he could help you, but you always told him, “english is my native language, i won’t need any help.” like the smart ass that you are.

”i have to finish a crib for the o'briens, so i’ll have to split my attention, but yeah! come on over!” adam replied. “but i will not write your essay for you, okay?” he sent after a minute.

”thanks, adam! i’ll be right over!” you texted him back. you grabbed your book, your laptop, and your keys, and you were out of there.

you always found it odd how the two sweetest people you knew had the creepiest house in town. the house practically begged to house some vampires, and while you were pretty sure that adam and his wife barbara weren’t vampires, a part of you always hoped they were.

you tried to figure out how they could be actually undead, while you drove to their house. you assumed that adam would’ve had to become a vampire first, because if barbara were a vampire, then that would mean that your mom would also be a vampire, and that just didn’t make sense. but then again, adam doesn’t seem particularly ancient. although if he was from, say, shakespeare’s time, that would make sense why he would understand his work so much. and adam is an ap brit lit teacher…

you shook your silly ideas off and parked in the maitland’s driveway.

even though adam said you would only have his divided attention, he pretty much abandoned working on the crib as soon as you walked in the door, already starting to explain the basic plot of the play.

barbara drifted in and out of the room, offering food everytime she did. maybe that was just further proof that she’s a vampire! wait, no. she would still have once been human, so she’d understand how often humans need to eat. also, shakespeare, not vampires! come on, you need to focus!

after successfully tricking adam into thinking that you had read the whole book, and he told you as many details as he could remember, he decided it was time for a break. you agreed. you needed a little bit of time to figure out how to best get him to write your body paragraphs for you. getting him to just explain stuff to you probably wouldn’t work, because he’s not the most concise person. and getting him to literally type them out wouldn’t work, because adam’s gullible, not stupid.

your aunt and uncle decided to show you around the house. they were in the midst of many renovations, and they wanted to show you what they had done so far, as well as what they planned on doing.

”oh, y/n, would you look at the wood on this banister? i know you don’t really care about all the little details like i do, but it’s just so gorgeous.” said adam.

you walked closer to the stairs, next to the couple.

unfortunately, that was the last thing you did as a living, breathing person. the floor gave out, sending the three of you into the basement. the fall killed you.

you were the first to catch on to that.

you came back as a ghost, because of course ghosts are real. and while the maitlands were screaming about the fireplace and how cold they were, you noticed that your heart had stopped beating. you noticed that your fingers were numb. and when you stopped breathing, you didn’t get lightheaded, nothing happened.

it had been a few days since then. there was a demon who offered to help the maitlands who came. but the maitlands didn’t allow you near him. one of the downsides to being dead is no sleep. you couldn’t lose consciousness if you tried. and you have. compounded with the fact that you were always drowsy, you were pretty sure that you were in a low level of hell.

you had taken to gazing longingly out the windows. you couldn’t go outside, lest you get eaten by a sandworm, whatever that meant, so you settled for this, hoping that the soccer mom walking her dog would look up and freak out when she saw you.

but no one ever saw you.

you considered seeking the demon out to ask him what actually happened when sandworms ate ghosts, but a flurry of moving trucks interrupted your thoughts.

the movers began dragging the boxes and the pieces of furniture into the house, as directed by a tall, bearded man.

you jumped up and glided down the multiple sets of stairs, to the front door.

as a new person walked in, you would scream, “boo!” as you crept up behind them. to no avail. no one as much as flinched.

you eventually gave up, and roamed the first floor. just looking for someone you hadn’t already tried to scare. sitting in the kitchen, was a red-headed woman. you said, “boo.” she looked up, like she had heard you, but then looked right through you. still invisible.

what’s the fun of being a ghost if you can’t mess with people? maybe you needed to just become a poltergeist. that could be fun, hurling cookie jars at these idiots. you chuckled to yourself at the thought of it.

you wandered into another room. a dining room, maybe? the bearded man from before was in there. you slipped a wine glass out of it’s box, and threw it at him. being a bad aim, you hit the wall about a foot to his right, but the point got across. the glass exploded on impact, making the man jump.

you smiled.

you turned around, to leave the room to find more people to torment, but the demon you were supposed to be avoiding was leaning in the door frame. “impressive.” he said.

”go away, lawrence.” you replied. he cringed at the name.

”what? don’t you want me to show you more ways you can mess with them?” he crossed his arms defensively.

”you’re a literal demon, so excuse me if i don’t trust you. and i’ve only just started throwing things at them, so i think i’ll stick to that for a while.” you glanced around the room for another way out, but there were none.

the demon grunted, and walked away, presumably to the attack to talk to your aunt and uncle again. you felt bad for them, but at least you didn’t have to deal with him.

you wandered into the living room, or was it family room? you never knew which was which and why they were two different rooms. but there was a girl, dressed in all black, flipping through a photo album on the couch. she looked to be about your age. this was definitely the first time you had seen her, so you decided to try to scare her using your old way, even though you were really itching to throw the candelabra that was on the other side of the room. you weren’t sure if that was from this new family, or from adam and barbara. it looked cool, though.

”boo!” you yelled.

the girl whipped her head around. her eyes found you immediately. “who are you and what are you doing in this house.” she demanded. she shut the photo album and stood to face you.

”wow you can both hear and see me, that’s a new one!” you exclaimed.

the girl narrowed her eyes.

”uh, i’m y/n. nice to meet you?”

”what are you doing in this house?”

”i- well, uh, this house used to belong to my aunt and uncle before the, um, died. and-”

”if you need to get any of their stuff, you better do it quickly before my dad gets rid of it.” she interrupted you. “but couldn’t you have done this before the house was sold?”

”you see, i was also in this house when my aunt and uncle died. all three of us were standing right about there,” you pointed at a spot a few feet in front of the girl, “and uh, we all died.”

”you’re dead?” the girl asked, her previous hostility turning to curiosity.

”yeah.”

”that is so cool.” she peered oddly at you.

”uhm not really. you’re the first person who’s been able to see me. i mean, i threw a wine glass at your dad earlier and that was kinda fun, but other than that… sucks, man.”

”oh.” the girl slumped over.

you walked closer to her, “what’s your name, by the way?”

her head bobbed back up, “lydia. you said you were y/n?”

”yeah.”

lydia poked your upper arm. “so you’re corporeal.”

”yeah.”

lydia blinked and looked around awkwardly. “does dying make you bad at conversations?”

”i don’t think so. all the other dead people i know are really chatty.”

”so it’s you that’s bad.”

”you are also involved in this conversation, lydia.” you snarked back.

lydia crossed her arms. “you said something about ‘all the other dead people’ you know. are you just talking about your aunt and uncle, or are there other ghosts haunting this place?”

”no and no? i’m not actually sure his dead or alive status, but there’s a demon here.”

lydia laughed. “a demon? that’s hilarious, tell me the truth.”

”you are talking to a literal dead girl right now, why would i lie to you?”

the laughter faded from her face. “you’re right. what does the demon want here?”

”i’m not really sure. he seems kinda gross, so i’ve been keeping away from him.” you wrinkled your nose, “but as far as i know, barbara and adam. that’s their names, by the way. my aunt and uncle. like, i keep accidentally overhearing him hit on them, and it makes me want to gouge my ears out.”

”yikes. that sounds awful. i can’t imagine what would happen if some weirdo started flirting with my dad. or just adults flirting in general is yuck.” lydia shuddered at the thought.

you went quiet.

”what’re you thinking about.” lydia asked.

you bit the inside of your mouth. “it’s just that… like, now that i’m dead, i’m stuck being sixteen forever. and i’m also pretty sure that i’m stuck in this house forever. so not only will there be no one ever to flirt with me, i have to listen to the adults flirt with each other.”

”if the demon is flirting with someone in front of their wife, i’m pretty sure that he’d flirt with you.” lydia suggested.

”i’d sooner rip his throat out.” you threatened.

lydia thought for a second. “well, it sounds like you need someone to fix that problem.” she said, softly. nervously.

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi @book--butterfly

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice fanfiction #lydia #lydia deetz #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #adam maitland #barbara maitland #charles deetz #delia #delia deetz #lydia x reader #lydia deetz x reader #fic

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bktynes-writes · 4 years ago

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I Wish For This

Sometimes I think about what I want from the end of Supernatural and I just...well, this happens...

I want Jody, Donna, and the girls to be happy. I want Claire and Kaia to be the sweetest little couple. I want Claire to go back to school and Kaia to get a job in a machine shop or a garage. And Claire works part time in the evenings bartending, and they save up enough money to get a little apartment near Jody's house. Alex meets a sweet young male nurse and they get together and start their own lil family. And I want Patience to become a lawyer (of course she goes to Stanford. Sam helps her with her application letter, and maaaaybe he breaks into their computer system to "move some things around" to help her get in. Not that she needs it, but he's so proud he can't help it). And they all get together on weekends for dinners. Sometimes the Winchesters (ALL OF THEM! Sam, Eileen, their kid, Dean, Cas, and Jack) join them and they laugh about hunting, because there are no monsters anymore. Jody grills burgers in the back yard and Dean tries to help, but she fondly slaps his hands away with the tongs when he tries to touch her food, so he instead resigns himself to bringing her cold beers and "supervising" from the corner. Cas plays with Eileen and Sam's little one in the grass, holding their little hands above their head as they giggle and toddle across the grass, sometimes looking up to catch Dean's eye. He sees the longing there and knows there will be a discussion about children in their future, but he looks forward to the possibility. Having Jack has been a blessing and has taught them so much, but Cas knows Dean wants a little one or two, and Jack is going to want to go off on his own sooner than later. Jack, Patience, Claire, and Kaia stand together in the corner of the yard discussing whatever it is young people talk about - memes, music, politics, whatever else. Jack is happy to have his family all together in one place. Dean takes a break from pestering Jody about flipping the burgers too often to set up some knife throwing, and there are bets placed on who is going to win. Surprisingly, Patience beats them all. She later asserts that it is "just physics", which drives Dean and Claire into a frenzy because, no, it's skill, and she must have cheated somehow. Alex's boyfriend doesn't really understand their weird little family dynamic at first, but he gets used to it pretty quick. The first night the boys come to visit for dinner is the night they decide they have to tell him about monsters. Initially he is understandably horrified, but he loves Alex with his whole heart and after a shot or two if whiskey, he comes around. He listens to their stories in absolute awe. When Alex describes her past to him, he looks at her with a little bit of fear because, holy shit this gorgeous girl was a vampire food factory, could kill him if she wanted to, but is also so kind and sweet and he loves her so much. And after dinner, when Sam and Eileen are putting their kid to bed, and Patience has gone off to study, and Claire, Jody, and Donna are arguing in the sitting room over the good whiskey about the most effective methods of beheading, Dean claps the young man on the shoulder and he and Cas take him out into the yard, and explain very carefully to him that if he hurts Alex, they will hurt him. But he knew that because honestly, these Winchesters are psychopaths and he is not about to piss this family off.

I just want everyone to live happily ever after and be together and not have to worry about the end of the world, or monsters or heaven or hell or anything. I want them all to have houses where they can raise children and be happy. I want Eileen to go to PTA meetings and bake cookies, and I want Sam to argue that the neighbour's hydrangeas are 2ft taller than the HOA guidelines allow. I want Dean to take a part time job at a Jiffy Lube and be WAY over qualified, and turn down promotion after promotion because he doesn't actually NEED the job, he just wants something to do with his time. I want Cas to cultivate fruit trees in their backyard and bake pies to sell at the farmers markets and no one ever knows how he gets his crust so perfect, but it's only because Dean eats all his failures and tells them they're amazing anyways. I want Jack to go to the local community college and take religious studies and ace every test because, hey, his family tree is pretty closely linked to biblical history. I want them to have two dogs named Crowley and Zepplin. I want them to adopt a little girl and name her Joanna. I want car pools. I want play dates. I want Dean to coach the only girls little league team in the area because there wasn't one before and Jo wanted to play baseball, and Dean'll be damned if his little girl doesn't get to play just because some coach doesn't want a girl on his team, so they make their own (and they kick all the boy's butts in their first year. Because Dean is a hardass. Not like John, NEVER like John, but he knows how to get the best out of *his* kids). All the little girls love him, and so do their moms (and some dads), and as they grow up, Cas and Dean's house becomes the "cool" place to be, because Jo is a badass little girl with her cool auntie Claire and her two awesome dads, but it's also always SAFE. The first time one of the girls boyfriends puts hands on them, they run to Jo and her dads in tears and, well, lets just say that boy gets a midnight house call from a very angry and very scary looking Winchester couple with graphic threats of bodily harm. That boy never lays hands on another girl again, and while Jo pretends to be pissed that now no one wants to ask her to the winter dance at school, she is secretly so proud that her dads are so awesome. I want summer barbecues and pool parties and beach vacations. I want camping trips and endless anniversaries and Christmases.

I want them all to grow old and grey together, and see their grandchildren and each other live the lives they deserve. I want them to retire. I want them to be HAPPY...

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural ending #supernatural happy ending #let them be happy #they deserve it #they deserve all the love #dean winchester #human cas #sam winchester #eileen leahy #dean x cas #sam x eileen #supernatural headcanon

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surveysonfleek · 5 years ago

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1533.

[Family]

My brother’s name starts with D. Neither of my grandfathers are alive. I look more like my mother than my father. Both my parents are in a serious relationship. I am the youngest of three children. I am the only girl. My mom’s mom is NOT your typical grandmother. I don’t really like my cousins. I have less than five cousins. I’ve shown up at a family party while under the influence.

[Religion & Politics]

I was raised Christian. But I’m no longer a Christian. I believe in God. But I think the Bible is bullshit. My beliefs aren’t influenced by people around me. My dad is religious. My mom tries to be, but who is she trying to fool? I hate church. I wouldn’t have voted in the last election even if I was old enough. I hate politics more than anything.

[Food]

I honestly never stop eating. Chocolate + peanut butter = orgasmic. I only eat Cains mayonnaise. I’ve never eaten a fruit I didn’t like. I love cooked broccoli but not raw broccoli. I love raw peppers but not cooked peppers. I’ve gone a day or more without eating. I crave chocolate on my period. Pizza Hut has the best pizza around. Cookies & Cream ice cream is one of my favorites.

[Sex, Love & Relationships]

I’ve been told that I was a nine out of ten at giving head. A guy has cheated on his girlfriend with me. I’ve never been cheated on. I had my first kiss when I was fifteen. I lost my virginity in the woods. My best friend lost her virginity a week after me. In the same place I did. I’ve been in the same room as someone having sex. I would rather be on the bottom.

[Music]

I download my music from LimeWire. I love country. I love old school rap. I love alternative. I have All Time Low’s new CD Nothing Personal. And I love it. I love to sing, but I suck horribly at it. I cannot play a musical instrument. I want to learn to play the drums. I used to take piano lessons.

[School]

My GPA is between 2.0 and 3.0. I took Algebra 1 in 8th grade, and again in 9th. I’ve passed a class with a D-. I don’t do my homework at home. I prefer mechanical pencils. I always do projects the night before they’re due. I’m really smart but don’t always apply myself. I text in school. I’ve gotten my phone taken away in school.

[Beauty & Hygiene]

I straighten my hair often. On lazy days, I scrunch my hair to go out. My only make-up necessity is mascara. I like to wing my eyeliner. I’d rather take a shower than a bath. I’d rather use body wash than a bar of soap. I’d rather use a bath scrunchie than a washcloth. My solution for make-up on lazy days: sunglasses. I use the same routine every day in the shower.

[Smoking, Drinking & Drugs]

I smoke cigarettes. I’ve gotten drunk within the past month. I’ve smoked weed when by myself. The first time I got high was on a holiday. Marijuana should be legalized. I have never and would never drink and drive. I hate light beer. My lighter is purple. My favorite cigarettes are Turkish Silver or Camel Crush. I’ve quit smoking but started again.

[Random]

My nails are pink right now. Going to bed at midnight is very early for me. I could never date a guy that didn’t make me laugh. I have a jar of peanut butter in my room right now. I wear sunglasses a lot. Gogurt is really good in the freezer. I’ve been in Hollister, but I don’t own anything from there. Purple is my favorite color. There is no such thing as an ugly color. I need more pens. ______________________________________________________________

I like where I’m at right now. My feet are freezing. I hate feeling awkward. I love driving on country roads. I love driving fast, too. I currently have a cold. I have a crush. No, it’s more than a crush. I always wondered what it’d be like to start over, where no one knew me. I go on Yahoo Answers. I get nostalgic every once in awhile. I really don’t like my father. My mother is one of my best friends though. I don’t mind when people stare at me. No, it’s annoying as fuck. I can’t stand people who are extremely selfish. A Change Of Pace is a good band. I have gotten a new phone within the past month. I want to go to Florida soon. Peach snapple iced tea is theee best. I wrote books when I was younger. I’m really creative, especially when I apply myself. I use Facebook a lot more than I used to. I’m constantly told I’m beautiful, but I still sometimes don’t believe it. One of my friends came out as gay this year. I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t have someone. I’m way too quiet, and I wish I could change. I need to party. Music and books are my favorite. I love everything about the fall. I always smell really good. My hair looks nice today. I have long fingernails. I’ve kissed a Ryan, Mike, or Justin. I’ve been in love with a Josh, Christian, or Scott. I envy no one. I’m going to an amusement park soon. For a halloween-related thing. I don’t like beer. I don’t like soda. I’ve worn a turtle neck in the past year. I wear them often. Outspoken is something I’m not. I express myself through quotes and lyrics. Photography is beautiful. There’s beauty in everything, you just gotta find it. I ordered a pizza recently. Tonight, actually. I wish I could have a whole new batch of friends. Even though I do love the ones I have now. My nose is stuffy. I like orange juice. And sandwich wraps. I love cozy nights at home. I like playing Hebi. Apples to Apples is fun. I have to start applying for jobs. I really need one. Ahhh life is changing fast. I tend to drive a little bit over the speed limit.

My razor only has two blades. My keyboard is black. I use my friends as arm rests and pillows. My favorite number is odd. My favorite number is a single digit. I love having butterflies in my stomach. The last make up I wore was eyeliner. I’d love to have a winter wedding. I’m really ticklish. I have a facial piercing. I’d only get a tattoo that has significant meaning to me. My boyfriend is taller than I am. My school has a shitty football team. I play Pet Society on Facebook. All politicians are the same, in my opinion. I can’t eat sushi with a fork or else it feels awkward. I’ve never been to New Mexico. I’d definitely consider adoption if I couldn’t have my own children. I like plain-colored t-shirts. Horror movies don’t really scare me. I have a decent vocabulary. Lord of the Rings doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t play any sports. I prefer orange juice to apple juice. I like my toast with butter and jelly. I love cream cheese. I have a celebrity crush. I get frequent headaches. I can play a little piano. My boyfriend drives an Asian car. And so do I. I WANT MORE PIERCINGS. My favorite fruit is a type of berry. I miss somebody right now. Some of my friends live far away. I can burp out the alphabet. I love breadsticks. I can count to ten in at least two languages. I’d love to have a pet owl. I prefer dogs to cats. I only wear actual perfume on special occasions. But I wear body spray on a daily basis. I have pictures of my sibling/s on my phone. ______________________________________________________________

What I have…

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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thevalicemultiverse · 5 years ago

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Get To Know the Muse(s) -- Alice & Victor

season: Alice -- early spring; Victor -- late spring

color: Alice -- blue and red; Victor -- blue

pie: Alice -- strawberry; Victor -- apple

fruit: Alice -- strawberries; Victor -- apples

ice cream flavor: Alice -- strawberry, chocolate, Neapolitan; Victor -- chocolate, Rocky Road, Cookies & Cream

breakfast food: Alice -- pancakes with syrup; Victor -- French toast and hard-boiled eggs

alcoholic drink: Alice -- Nothing; Victor -- Nothing (neither of them drink)

soda flavor: Alice -- Dr. Pepper; Victor -- root beer

scent: Alice -- Floral scents, catnip; Victor -- Tree scents, dog smells

flowers: Alice -- Roses, lilies; Victor -- daffodils, bluebells

animal: Alice -- cats, rabbits; Victor -- dogs, butterflies

movie: Alice -- The Truman Show (I think she’d find the main character relatable, and the whole movie fascinating); Victor -- Ghostbusters (a fun sci-fi/fantasy about busting ghosts! He also likes the sequel and the reboot)

tv show: Alice -- QI (it’s a show about weird facts and suchlike; right up her alley); Victor -- Castlevania on Netflix (I have personally not seen it, but I’ve heard good things, and it’s about vampires and kick-ass lady magic users and going up against evil -- he’d probably enjoy it)

book: For modern verses, anyway: Alice -- Monstrous Regiment from the Discworld series (she likes and relates to the main cast a lot); Victor -- Dragonsong from the Dragonriders of Pern series (he’s always wanted a pet dragon, and he relates to Menolly more than he thinks he should)

fairy tale: Alice -- Cinderella (she has a whole new appreciation for what the title character went through after Houndsditch -- also the mental image of Bumby getting his eyes pecked out by birds in the appropriate versions); Victor -- Snow White (he can’t help but feel a kinship with the princess who shares his color scheme -- plus he’s sometimes wondered if running off to a house of dwarves in the woods wouldn’t be better for him than his home life)

genre of music: Alice -- “moody” songs (like with heavy bass beats, dark lyrics, stuff like that), but she’s also fond of parodies; Victor -- classical (especially piano numbers), big musical numbers

genre of movies: Alice -- fantasy, comedy; Victor -- sci-fi, fantasy

genre of books: Alice -- fantasy, mystery; Victor -- fantasy, horror

Pick one.

hot or cold: Both prefer hot

juice or soda: Alice prefers juice; Victor is more likely to get a soda

tv or movie: Both would pick movie

movie or book: Both would pick book

late night talk shows or reality tv: I don’t think they’d like either, but if there was nothing else on, I think they’d pick reality TV -- might be more interesting, should provide plenty of opportunities to mock the television

twitter or instagram: I think both would prefer Instagram; Twitter would provide too many opportunities to annoy them

trees or flowers: Alice prefers flowers; Victor prefers trees

philosophy or psychology: Both are more into philosophy (Alice in particular doesn’t like psychology for what I hope are obvious reasons)

ocean or lake: Both are more familiar with lakes, at least in the real world; the Deluded Depths are fun in Wonderland, though!

water park or amusement park: I think they’d both prefer an amusement park, though one with water rides would be a good compromise

cats or dogs: Alice is a cat person; Victor is a dog person

fresh water or sparkling water: Both prefer fresh water

sugar or honey: In tea, I assume? I’d say both prefer sugar, though they both will eat honey

cookies or candy: Both prefer cookies (though Victor will definitely not say no to candy)

bath or shower: Alice prefers showers; Victor likes baths (even if he’s too long for most bathtubs!)

morning or night: Both tend toward night (even in verses where one of them doesn’t have to be nocturnal)

running or walking: Both like walking (particularly together); both tend to end up running from something at some point. XD

piercings or tattoos: Eh, I can’t see either of them getting either. . .but if it came down to it, I could see both going for a tattoo over piercings.

frozen yogurt or ice cream: Both prefer ice cream, but this doesn’t mean they won’t eat frozen yogurt

vanilla or chocolate: Both prefer chocolate

caramel or butterscotch: Both like caramel

art or music: Alice falls on the art side; Victor falls on the music one (though he’s also an accomplished artist, and Alice likes his music a lot)

t-shirt or button down: Alice is more likely to wear a plain t-shirt; Victor prefers a button-down

text or call: I think both prefer text -- less pressure that way, and Victor in particular finds it easier when he can do a draft or two of what he wants to say

ghosts or aliens: Both prefer ghosts (and are more likely to encounter them everywhere except my Sims game)

Have they ever.

ridden a motorcycle: Depends on the verse, but I’ve stated in the past I like the idea of Secundus!Alice getting her own steampunk motorcycle and roaring through the streets with a mildly-terrified Victor XD Most of the time, though, neither of them have.

stolen something: Again, verse-dependent -- most of the time, I’d say no for both, but the Catch Us!pair probably steal things from their victims, and just for survival purposes, while Londerland Bloodlines!Alice will occasionally pick up “vendor trash” to sell to Fat Larry. (Not so much once she starts getting money from more legit sources, though.)

eaten an entire pizza by themselves: Alice, probably not. Victor, yes. XD (Though it was over an entire night)

made a prank call: I can’t see either of them being the type, so no.

broken a bone: Somehow, neither of them have. Victor is as shocked as anyone about this. (Though he has sprained his ankle.)

fallen asleep during a concert or movie: A concert? Not to both? A movie? Not in theaters, but I can see them maybe falling asleep watching a super-late movie one night at home. (Cute mental image, actually.)

walked out of a movie because it was so bad: I personally think they’d stick it out to give it the MST3K/Rifftrax treatment (quietly) unless it properly offended them. So neither has done so yet, but it’s a possibility.

been on the phone with someone for longer than 2 hours: No, if only because I can’t think of any situation where they would have to be.

dined & dashed: Traditional form? No, neither. But Londerland Bloodlines!Alice has occasionally had to just grab a convenient person to drink from when she was low on blood. Sort of counts?

held a gun: This is verse-dependent -- the vast majority, no. But I’m sure the Catch Us pair have used guns on occasion (if their victim has one to wrestle away, anyway), and Londerland Bloodlines!Alice learned how to shoot to protect herself on the mean streets of L.A.

ding dong ditched: I can’t see either doing this -- except maybe Catch Us!pair, or Londerland Bloodlines!Alice, as some sort of distraction while they do something else. (LB!Alice is a master of Obfuscate, after all. . .)

gone skinny dipping: Nooope for both. Nope no never.

cried during a movie: Yes, though Alice generally hides it a bit better than Victor. She’ll only openly cry if she’s alone, or with people she trusts (generally Victor, add in Victoria, Emily, Lizzie, Bonejangles/Sam, Richard, and Christopher depending on verse).

smuggled food into a movie: Alice would, Victor wouldn’t -- but only because Victor can consistently afford concession prices. And to be honest, he’d probably help Alice smuggle in food if she asked.

lied to get a job: No -- if only because neither of them has ever had to (Victor of course comes from super-rich stock, and Alice generally either has a job given to her/forced on her, or picks something she knows she can get without lying)

practiced lines in front of a mirror: Victor has, for when he has to be Social with his parents -- it doesn’t usually help much, as his anxiety gives no shits about how much he practices. I can’t think of a situation for Alice to do so, but maybe if she needs to rehearse something difficult to say sometime. . .

tried to see how many marshmallows they can stuff in their mouth at once: Not as of this writing, but somehow I think they might at some point XD

been kicked out of somewhere: Yes, though for different reasons -- Alice because she was making a scene while stuck in Wonderland; Victor because his parents were making a scene and he was “collateral damage.” Oh, and I guess Victor was essentially kicked out of Burtonsville in both Forgotten Vows and Secundus. . .and then decided he never wanted to go back anyway

been on a blind date: Does a blind arranged marriage count? Actually, in more modern verses, the two sets of parents WOULD set the kids up on a date without introducing them first, so -- yeah, I guess Victor has. Alice, no.

ghosted someone: No -- unless you count Alice disappearing from Houndsditch as such in the “Catch Us If You Can” verse. Victor’s probably been ghosted once or twice by women who didn’t wish to continue their acquaintance. Not a pleasant experience.

bragged about something they haven’t done: Victor, no. Alice. . .edge case, as she’ll brag about stuff she’s done in Wonderland, not the real world. Which, considering the stuff she can pull off in Wonderland, I say -- let the woman brag.

said i love you without meaning it: No, neither. Alice only says it when she means it, and Victor has meant it every time he’s said it.

gotten in a fight: Yes to both, though how often depends on the verse.

fallen asleep on a bus: I can’t see either of them doing it, if only because I don’t think either would ever feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. Too many people and not exactly plush seats are not conducive to rest.

Miscellaneous.

how do they take their tea or coffee: Alice takes her tea with a couple of spoonfuls of sugar and a quick dash of milk; Victor puts so much sugar and milk into his it can barely be called “tea”

what is their ideal date: Depends on the verse, but a few favorites are going to the park on a picnic (Forgotten Vows and Secundus); either going dancing or staying at home for a private dance party (Cuddlepile); and going to the movies (Londerland Bloodlines). I’d also like for at least one skating date to happen in some verse. XD

what are some of their guilty pleasures: Alice has probably read and enjoyed some romance novels -- it’s a guilty pleasure in the sense of “Lizzie would probably never forgive me for reading these.” XD Victor, depending on the verse, has penny dreadfuls or comic books, which his mother disapproves of but he reads on the sly. He particularly enjoys superheroes and horror stories.

longest they’ve stayed up for: This would be dependent on verse, but I’m sure that both of them have stayed up at least one entire day for some reason at some point

greatest talent: For Victor, it’s definitely his piano skills -- he’s got a nice well of natural ability, and he’s put in the practice to get really good at it. For Alice, it’s storytelling -- she knows how to weave a good yarn, helped a lot by that active imagination of hers!

strange habits: Less “strange” and more “informed by her past trauma,” Alice tends to triple-check every fireplace in her current home to make sure it’s out before going to bed. Yes, it was deliberate arson that took down her family home, but she still gets antsy over leaving flame attended. She also tends to rock on her heels when in deep thought. Victor of course has his tie-pulling and general fidgeting when he’s nervous -- I can’t think of anything off the top of my head that he might have that is stranger.

first job: Alice’s would be her stint at Bumby’s -- she was maid and dogsbody in exchange for her keep and a smidgen of salary. Victor -- well, does helping his father do the books at his fish business count?

can they do a handstand: Alice probably could if she practiced enough, though I don’t know how long she could hold it. Victor could only do it against a wall, and even then he’d probably tip over after a couple of seconds.

can they cook: Yes -- they both have a baseline of “I can make a couple of edible items,” and improve from there. Victor in particular grows to like baking.

do they have allergies: Alice does not, but Victor is allergic to artichokes. Nothing life-threatening, fortunately, but it does result in an itchy rash all over his face and neck if he eats them.

do they believe in love in first sight: Alice never did -- Victor is willing to believe at least in attraction at first sight, thanks to his experiences with Victoria and Emily. He’s not sure about true love, though.

have any special talents: Well, I already mentioned playing piano for Victor, and storytelling for Alice. They’re also both quite good artists! Alice works in pencil, while Victor works in quill pen and ink. Victor is also a MASTER at climbing, thanks to finding that going vertical often helped him get away from his bullies growing up. And I’m sure Alice’s way with sarcastic comments must count too. :p

Tagged by: @hamelinbound

Tagging: Taken me long enough that I’m sure most people I would have tagged have been tagged. Take this as a general “if you want to do it, feel free!”

#~M: what’s going on here? (meme)#~M: when he was a boy (headcanon)#long post #sorry it took me so long!#just a bit more difficult when you're doing it for two characters #and some of the questions I hadn't really thought about before #I struggled with the favorite books and tv shows and movies and such for a while #and then you have to consider a good number of these are verse dependent #I think it all came together in the end though #~M: with this hand I will lift your queue

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aidanchaser · 6 years ago

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Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents

Chapter Nine The Midnight Duel

Dear Mum and Dad,

Classes have been a lot of work. There’s so much to learn, I don’t even know where to start. Was Professor Binns a ghost when you were at school? He’s very dull now, and I hope he was at least a little better when he was living.

Professor McGonagall says hello. She also said she hopes I’m as good at Transfiguration as Dad. But I don’t know. It’s very hard.

I like Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Professor Quirrell is pretty boring. He mumbles and stutters a lot, and we don’t get to do much, but it’s the most interesting reading. Fred and George said there’s a new teacher every year because the position is cursed. Is that true? Did you have a new teacher every year?

I don’t like Potions. At all. Professor Snape HATES me. I don’t know why. I thought my potion was just fine, but he liked Malfoy’s best, and then he yelled at me because Neville’s melted the cauldron. I wasn’t even working with Neville, I was working with Ron!

I also can’t stand Draco Malfoy. He’s rude, called the Weasleys blood-traitors, and then asked if I wanted to be his friend. I was going to punch him, but Ron’s weasel ended up biting Goyle and they ran away. Mum always said you were arrogant, Dad, but I hope you weren’t like that. He’s awful. And he’s always making smug faces at me.

But Ron and I get along really well. He’s great. We both like Quidditch. A lot. Can we bring Ron to the World Cup when it happens?

I had tea with Hagrid today. His tea isn’t as good as yours, Mum. You should send some scones. I miss eating at home.

With love, Harry

PS: Ron, Seamus, Dean, Neville, and I all checked under our beds. Neville has “Nymphadora Tonks” scribbled under his bed and Ron has, “Charlie Weasley” on his. Wasn’t Nymphadora in Hufflepuff? Maybe they move the beds around. I hope Draco Malfoy isn’t in your bed.

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Dear Harry,School sounds exciting. I know it can be hard, but just do your best. It will be enough. You’re very smart, and you’ll be able to do it.

Yes, Nymphadora was in Hufflepuff. But she was always getting into trouble. Try not to sneak into other students’ dormitories to carve your names under their beds. You don’t need to rack up a list of detentions like your father did.

The Quidditch World Cup is a long way away. If we go, your friends are welcome to come.

Here’s a box of scones, though they probably won’t be warm by the time they arrive. Sounds like you should give one to Ron’s weasel, too. He sounds like quite the valiant Gryffindor.

With love, Mum and Dad

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Dear Uncle Remus,

Thank you for your letter. I didn’t tell Snape that Sirius said anything. But I got in trouble anyway. Why is Snape such a jerk? I know you said I should get along with my professors, but I don’t think I’ll be able to with Snape.

I really like Defense Against the Dark Arts. It’s not as exciting as it is learning from you or Dad, though. Professor Quirrell doesn’t let us practice much. He talks about a lot of things, but your stories and Dad’s were always more exciting.

Quirrell said he met a vampire in Romania. Are there a lot of vampires out there? Also, he wears a turban that smells disgusting. Everyone says he keeps garlic in it to keep away the vampire. Does that really work?

Love, Harry Potter

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Dear Harry,

PROFESSOR Snape is your teacher, and you need to listen to him in class, even if he can be harsh on Gryffindors. Just do your best in Potions. There’s a lot to learn and remember, but you can do it.

Vampires are actually very common in Romania and there are several pockets of them throughout Eastern Europe. Much more common there than in the west. You’re not likely to run into one out here, unless they’ve been bitten, though I’ve known a couple of half-vampires. Vampires are protected under the Guidelines for the Treatment of Non-Wizard-Part-Humans (note: there is some record of vampires being wizards and it’s actually common among half-vampires, and the laws become even murkier there) but even though they’re protected, there is a lot of discrimination against them. I knew a very nice half-vampire who couldn’t get a job. Everyone’s excuse was that she could only work from dusk to dawn, and had to sleep during the afternoon, but it was pretty clear they just didn’t want to hire a half-vampire. Some even doubted her ability to do magic, though she has the strongest perfume charms I’ve ever seen. They’re quite nice. She’s doing very well for herself now, selling perfume and potpourri, but her shop is only open at night. When you’re home for the holidays, I can take you to meet her, if you like.

As for garlic, it does keep vampires away, but it’s not poisonous to them. They look at garlic the way you looked at Sirius’s cookies, that one time he tried baking while your parents were out. It’s very repugnant to them, and it will make a few of them sick if they ingest it, but it isn’t deadly. There are some cases of vampires claiming immunity to garlic, but there hasn’t been any real verification on the subject.

And, anyway, vampires are just like us. Except they drink blood instead of pumpkin juice. You should have no need to ward one off, unless you make him or her angry. As long as you treat them the way you treat anyone else, you’ll be fine. Some can be a little stuck-up, but overall, they’re very charming people with an interesting nightlife.

Good luck in your classes. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but I won’t write your essays for you. I didn’t even write your father’s when he was in school. I just edited for him and Sirius. Don’t let them lie to you. Maybe I wrote an introduction or two. But I promise I made them do most of the work.

Love, Uncle Remus

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Dear Sirius,

I love Hogwarts! Flying lessons start soon. I wish I had my broom. I hear the school brooms are awful. And we have to learn with the Slytherins. I don’t like them at all. Especially Draco Malfoy. And Potions with them is bad enough.

Snape absolutely hates me. I didn’t say anything about you to him, and he still got me in trouble even though I didn’t do anything. What is his problem? I don’t understand.

Love, Harry

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Dear Harry,

I don’t blame you for not getting along with Slytherins. I grew up in a house full of them and couldn’t stand it. Draco Malfoy sounds a lot like his father when we were in school. Mind you, don’t let Filch catch you hexing him. Your mother would probably say don’t do it at all, but if he’s got it coming then it’s his fault, isn’t it?

Snape went to school with your mother, father, Remus, and I. He was friends with your mother but your father and I didn’t get along with him. I thought it’d be funny if he got a sarcastic hello from me, but maybe it’s better you don’t start off your school year making him think about me and your dad. He’s known to hold something of a grudge. Though he was always excellent with dirty jinxes. Stay on his good side.

Love, Sirius

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Dear Sirius,

Remember what I told you about Draco Malfoy? I didn’t know I could dislike him even more. Flying lessons went great, actually. Ask Dad. But after totally showing Malfoy up during flying lessons, he threw a fit and challenged me to a wizard's duel. OF COURSE I accepted. But when I showed up, Malfoy wasn’t there. He’d even given Filch a warning that students would be at the meeting place. Ron and I didn’t get caught, of course, but WHAT A COWARD. (Don’t tell Mum and Dad I snuck out of the dormitory to go to a duel with another student. Mum would send a howler.)

Please send me a good hex or two for Malfoy. Next time he tries to show off, I want to be ready.

Love, Harry

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Dear Mum and Dad,

You’ll NEVER guess what happened at flying lessons.

GO ON.

GUESS.

So, I was being a well-behaved Gryffindor. Perfectly good. Didn’t even say anything when Madam Hooch corrected my grip. (Which, speaking of, Dad, did you know if you pull your hands to the centre you can pull up faster? It totally worked!) I was being well-behaved, and then Neville got nervous and sort of took off and ended up falling and breaking his wrist. He’s alright now, though. Madam Pomfrey mended him up really quick. But while Madam Hooch took him to see Madam Pomfrey, Malfoy thought it’d be funny to take Neville’s Remembrall and hide it somewhere like in a tree or a tower.

You know I’m trying really hard to obey school rules, right Mum? And I haven’t gotten a single detention so far. Uncle Remus told me that Dad had three detentions by his second week. So you know I’m not trying to get in trouble when I tell you that I had to go after Malfoy. No one else was doing anything!

So I got on my broom and flew after Malfoy and told him to hand the Remembrall over. He said no and then ended up throwing it up. Well I CAUGHT IT after a 50-foot dive. Dad, it was amazing. I wish you could’ve seen it.

Then McGonagall saw me. I thought I was in so much trouble. She was yelling and everything. She had that stern look on her face. Dad, you always talked about her being mean but I didn’t get it. Now that I see her in school I know what you mean.

I was sure she was going to kick me out of Hogwarts. But then instead of expelling me, she introduced me to the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

I’M GOING TO BE THE NEW SEEKER FOR GRYFFINDOR!

I’m the youngest seeker in a century! That’s what McGonagall and Oliver Wood said. You have to come to all my games! And Uncle Remus and Sirius, too, of course!

Also, you need to send me my Nimbus 2000. McGonagall said to wait until you hear from her or from Dumbledore, but promise you’ll send it the moment they okay it? I want to start practicing!

With love, Harry

P.S. How are you? Is everything okay? Your letter was rather short. But the scones were delicious! Thanks a lot! Ron said they were almost as good as Mrs. Weasley’s (and, I’m sorry, but, he’s right. Her cooking’s always been a little better).

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Dear Uncle Remus,

BIG NEWS. But I don’t want to tell it three times, so ask to read the letter I sent Mum and Dad. Otherwise, classes are fine. Thanks for the information about vampires. I’ll probably use a lot of it in the essay due next Thursday. Want to tell me the secret to brewing a perfect cauldron of Twinkling Dew? That essay’s due on Friday.

What do you know about three-headed dogs? Are they very vicious? Can they be kept as pets?

Love, Harry

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Dear Harry,

I did not get three detentions my second week of school. Sirius and I, between the two of us, had three detentions our second week. One was shared, and then we each got one individually. Remus exaggerates and assumes we both always were in trouble for the same things. Not true.

AND CONGRATULATIONS ON MAKING SEEKER. WOW.

I never would’ve expected you to make the Quidditch team your first year! Mum and I are so proud of you. Write to us as soon as you know when your first game is. I know you’re going to be amazing! Sirius has already said he’ll be there for sure, and Remus has said he’ll gladly attend as long as it doesn’t conflict with any other obligations he has in his calendar, of course.

We’re all so excited for you. Mum says not to let Quidditch interfere with your studies, but I know you won’t. You’re our son, so you should do excellent in everything. At least, between the two of us. I was never very good at History. And your Mum was certainly never any good at Quidditch, but we make up for each other’s flaws, and so then you should have the best of both of us, right?

Everything is fine at home. Your mother’s a bit stir crazy without you to look out for. She started saying things like, “Maybe I should get a job,” which is ridiculous. She doesn’t need one. But we definitely miss having you around. Already counting the days until Christmas.

We’ll send your broom as soon as we get the okay from McGonagall or Dumbledore. Don’t worry. I won’t leave you waiting for that any longer than I have to.

With love, Mum and Dad

P.S. Sirius mentioned something about you getting into a fight with Malfoy? Please be careful. Just because I got detentions in school doesn’t mean you should too. Best of us both, right?

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Dear Harry,

CONGRATULATIONS.

You’re not only the youngest Seeker in a century, you’ll be the best Seeker in a century. I know you’ll be great. You’ve been flying since before you could walk!

Your father wouldn’t let me read the letter. Had to tell it himself. Said you dove nearly 100 feet for that little marble. That’s incredible!

This Malfoy kid sounds like he had it coming. Do me a favor and try out a good strong Bogey hex on him. Or a Hurling Hex on his broom next time you go out for flying lessons. The trick is not getting caught.

Best of luck!

Love, Sirius

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Dear Harry,

Congratulations on becoming a seeker! That’s incredible! I’m sure your mother’s already told you, but do keep up with your school work. You’re being afforded a wonderful privilege. Use it well.

I’m glad I was able to help with the vampires. And I’m afraid I hardly remember a Twinkling Dew potion. Potions really was my worst subject. Try your mother if you really need help with potions. It was one of her best subjects. Though I suppose, being friends with Severus helped her out there.

I don’t recall Cerberuss being on the list of creatures you study in first year. Did Ron mention one?

There’s not a lot known about Cerberuss. They’re very rare and hard to study even if you find one. I do not recommend keeping one as a pet. Ever. They’re very vicious dogs, who only eat raw meat and that includes living people! They’re known in mythology for guarding the gates to the underworld, because they can keep living people out, but let spirits in. Muggles have a legend about a man besting Cerberus without a weapon, though it’s not very true. There is a record of a wizard who tried stunning a Cerberus and had his wand arm bitten off before he could cast his spell.

I don’t know why you’re studying Cerberi but I don’t think you want to get too close to one. They can be charmed to sleep with good music, but I doubt you could get close enough to try.

If you’re looking for a good breed of dog, ask Sirius. He should be able to point you in the right direction.

Love, Uncle Remus

#harry potter #harry potter and the philosophers stone #harry potter everyone lives au #hp everyone lives #hp fic

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thebibliomancer · 7 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #182: Honor Thy Father

April, 1979

Wherein Captain America kills Abraham Lincoln.

Shame. They had so much in common. Like fighting vampires.

Anyway, I can’t help but feel that this is perhaps related somehow in some form or fashion to the old man who put Wanda and Pietro’s souls in some dolls.

Last time: that thing I just said. Also, Agent Gyrich dictated a new team roster. The roster doesn’t come into effect this time because Gyrich gets confused and wanders off in his confusion. But I just want you, the reader, to know the essentials. The essentials Avengers.

Also.

Its semi-commonly known that Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are Roma. Good representation although somewhat marred by Wanda’s power being ‘hexes.’

We’re about the time in Avengers where their mutable backstory starts being delved into more. Including their upbringing. The writing seems overall sympathetic with the Roma but still resorts to stereotypes. And don’t expect them to use anything about the g-word for a very long time. I guess this is a heads up about that whole thing.

We start off with actual real doctor and not a secret Norse thunder god, Donald Blake, giving the Avengers his professional medical opinion on what is wrong with Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver.

Actual doctor, Donald Blake: “It’s almost as though... someone had stolen their souls!”

Yup.

Oh also their vital signs have ceased but their bodies aren’t degenerating. So that’s weird.

Vision acknowledges this diagnosis, tells actual doctor Donald Blake to do what he can, and then heads off to join the Avengers.

Hawkeye thinks to himself what a cold fish Vision is. His wife may be dying but he’s acting like he’s still on the time-clock.

Why must we go through this song and dance over and over? People always think Vision is so cold and emotionless and then he gets angry and people go ‘no wait maybe he’s the most human of all of us.’

Think before you think, Hawkeye.

Meanwhile, the Avengers haven’t been having much luck. Yellowjacket even anterrogated some friends of his and nothin’. And the reinstalled databanks didn’t have an answer for ‘suddenly died, souls possibly stolen??’

It’d sure be niiiiice if some of those cosmic friends from last time had hung around and sensed things with their cosmic senses but someone had to shoo them away.

GYRICH.

Thankfully, when Formicidae and technology let you down, you can always count on technology.

Jocasta pipes up that her cybernetic senses picked up an organic energy flux emanating from Avengers Mansion around the time Wanda and Pietro dropped dead.

She didn’t bother mentioning this before because... well, I guess because they didn’t think to ask. Look, she’s like a month old. Give her a break.

Jocasta even manages to trace the flux towards an area called the Bowery.

‘HOLY SHIT YOU CAN TALK,’ Gyrich, probably.

But really his reaction isn’t so different.

Agent Gyrich: “Hey! I thought this tin woman was just a trophy or something! If she’s intelligent, she has to have security clearance!”

Jocasta: “Really, Mr. Gyrich, has the government become so paranoid that it requires security passes for mere machines?”

Agent Gyrich: “Why, no, of course n... I-I mean, there are extenuating circum... well, that is to say, I -- I’m not quite sure. I’ll have to check with my superiors on this.”

Jocasta: “’Bye!”

So two things.

One, she just owned him. Completely and totally. He will never recover from how thoroughly she conversationally devastated him.

Two, she’s apparently been so quiet this whole time and so determined to stay out of anyone’s way that Gyrich mistook her for a statue. And I guess didn’t realize that she had followed everyone else from the meeting room to the computer room? Geez, Jocasta.

Anyway.

Now that they have a lead, the Avengers are going to assemble right out that front door. But clearly someone needs to stay on monitor duty.

Hawkeye: “Hey, don’t look at me, pal! Come tomorrow, I won’t be a full-time Avenger any more -- an’ I’m not about to pass up my last chance for some action!”

Wonder Man volunteers to stay behind. He’s going to be a handsome movie star. He can’t take the chance that someone ruins his apparent good looks.

And then Iron Man fails to say assemble as the group all runs off together. Come on, Iron Man. You have a lot of jobs but one of your jobs is to say the damn catchphrase.

Meanwhile, at the Bowery where Old Man is playing with his dolls.

Trying to feed them cookies.

Can they eat??

He’s apparently planning on taking them back to Europe in doll form. The implications of that are a bit staggering. And he’s trying to feed them to keep up their strength for the long journey. Their clothes are painted on though. If they eat, do they have to poop?

Also that cookie is bigger than Wanda doll’s torso. This is a bafflement!

Quicksilver has his usual patience for shenanigans. That is, none. Or maybe the usual amount but he goes through it at super speed. He tells the dude they aren’t his children.

Scarlet Wanda backs him up. Clearly their parents are the Whizzer and Miss America. This is true and will remain true forever and never be changed, become beloved canon, and then changed again causing acrimony throughout the land.

The old man (Django Maximoff. He’s Django Maximoff) bemoans that they continue to torture him by not remembering him.

YOU SEE YEARS BACK IN A ROMA TRIBE IN CENTRAL EUROPE THERE WERE TWO SPECIAL CHILDREN WITH POWERS

One had silver hair and could run like the dickens. The other had red hair and could use magic even without using the tribe’s sacred talisman, the Nivashi Stone.

In this very sensitive portrayal of other cultures o’clock, times were tough because of prejudice and nobody wanting to employ the Roma. So Django stole a cow.

This instantly caused an angry mob to spontaneously form and burn down his wagons. We don’t see the cow again so I have to assume that the mob set that on fire too.

Ms. Maximoff died in the wagon fire which is not great. She didn’t even have a name.

And young possibly Quicksilver did as Quicksilver do and accidentally ran off a cliff, sister in tow.

So Django was pretty bummed what with losing his entire family. He wandered for years before settling down in Vladivostok where he carved dolls and puppets for the joy of children.

But he was dead inside so he didn’t even care that shady men used his dolls for evil in Spider-Woman #12.

But all that changed when he saw a newspaper article about the Avengers.

Clearly these two adult people that closely resembled his own lost children and had similar powers were his lost children! They weren’t dead! They had just hid from him to punish him for the tragedy he had brought to his whole family! What a relief!

But clearly he had paid his dues. All those years of living alone with the guilt and also selling dolls to evil people.

So having clearly made up for the wrong he had done them, he made plans to steal their souls and put them in dolls so they couldn’t leave him again.

This makes absolute sense.

Anyway, he used the aforementioned Nivashi Stone to put their souls in dolls for the express reason of preventing them from running away again.

Scarlet Witch says um hey, we didn’t run away from you. This is all some crazy coincidence. One day we’ll look back on this and laugh.

But Django is suddenly distracted because his plot senses are tingling. “Your friends have come to play.”

‘I also sense that they brought some accessories, sold separately.’

Introducing the sky-scooter, in all of its ludicrous glory. Sold separately.

Luckily, the Avengers brought Jocasta and she points them to the rooming house Django is hiding out in.

Django: “I’m sorry, young friends, but Ana and Mateo can’t come out today. They’ve been naughty. But perhaps the Nivashi Stone can provide... other playmates!”

And then he says some magic words and some mannequins in a nearby theatrical supply warehouse begin to glow, pulse, and then OH YEAH right through the window.

And they pack a real punch too!

One FWOPs Beast right in the beak.

Captain America decapitates a mannequin Lincoln (like on the cover!) with his mighty shield but dammit that president will not yield.

So Wasp goes inside the open neck and grows to full size inside the mannequin, shattering it.

Geez.

Okay so then they continue to fight mannequins and making jokes. They’re really having a good time with this.

I wonder if that’s part of the spell. Django did say he was going to provide playmates. Or maybe the Avengers are just enjoying using some brutal attacks on some guilt-free targets.

Iron Man repulsors a cowboy mannequin and thinks to himself: “I know I’m supposed to be a serious, emotionless leader -- but I can’t help having an irresistible urge to shout ‘DRAW’!”

Oh and Vision kill Shakespeare.

So fun’s over. Time to get back to the actual task at hand.

Maybe the mannequins were so fun to murder because it was a RUSE to lure them into a false sense of security. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

So they cautiously proceed into the rooming house and to a room that Jocasta points them towards.

But when Iron Man opens the door...

I GUESS WE’RE IN SPACE NOW

Also Djano is looking like a youthful pirate. And he yells at the Avengers for being such a bad influence on Ana and Mateo (Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, probably).

Since their own parents have been lax in discipline, its up to Django to punish them by invoking a triad of totems.

THE TOAD

THE SNAKE

THE BIRD

Or, the Toad, Princess Python, and Nighthawk. Or that one sycophantic guy that used to hang around Magneto, a woman whose superpower is ‘owns a snake’, and Not-Batman.

Django is taking some liberties with these totems.

Right when Beast is dismissing the idea that a snake could get a drop on him, the snake gets the drop on him, bites him in the leg and starts whipping him against space rocks.

Vision tries to do his go-to and shove his hand through Princess Python’s chest but she smirks off the attempt. And tells him to worry about his own insides. Which are suddenly full of snakes. Oh he can feel them slithering beneath his skin.

Wonderful. I have a new nightmare now.

You will believe that an android can scream at body horror.

Iron Man tries repulsoring her but she no sells that too.

He’s very confused. The Princess Python he knows isn’t so powerful. And also didn’t used to hang out in rooms that are a starry void. And also Iron Man didn’t used to be able to walk on starry voids like it was ground. What’s up with that?

Nearby, Captain America and Hawkeye try to fight Nighthawk but its not going well.

Annnd... Wasp and Yellowjacket are fighting Toad.

This... this is going somewhere predictable, I can tell.

Yup. Yup.

Toad whips out his tongue and swallows them both.

So now I know where the Ultimates got the idea. Jeph Loeb clearly read this issue as a young and with tears streaming down both cheeks hoarsely whispered ‘yes, yessssssss.’

Iron Man meanwhile still hasn’t come to the very obvious realization so he throws a sink at Princess Python.

She just bats it away and it flies out the window of the rooming house to alarm and bemuse some drunks.

Meanwhile on the floor below, a man trying to sleep is disgruntled by all the noise of a superhero battle taking place over his head. He raps on the ceiling and tells them to keep it down.

This is finally the clue that Beast needs to realize that HEY this is all fake! An illusion! We’re not really in space! And Iron Man suggests the very helpful idea to “concentrate on clearing your minds, Avengers!”

I mean. It works.

Django realizes that the situation is FUBAR. He grabs the doll cages and tries to flee.

Django: “No! I-I won’t let you take my babies from me! I won’t!”

He flees the rooming house and tries to lose himself in a crowd but Vision ghosts through the road in front of him.

Vision: “What... have... you... DONE... TO... MY... WIFE?”

Tiny doll Wanda tells Vision that its the stone that has made them into dolls. So without hesitation Vision shoots the stone with Solar Beam, shattering it.

The doll versions of Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver slump lifelessly. Django too slumps, to the ground, crying “Not again. *Sniff* Dear god... not again.”

EPILOGUE: But they brought him home to Avengers Mansion.

Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are fine. Returned to their bodies right when the stone was shattered.

But Wanda asks to take a leave of absence. Some of the stuff Django said made her think so she and Quicksilver are going to accompany him to Europe to do some digging into their past. Besides, whats the harm in giving a lonely old man who kidnapped you and imprisoned you as a doll a family for a few days? Probably no harm, right?

Beast gets the last word on this whole ordeal.

Beast: “Well, I guess that’s that. Everyone’s back safe and sound and all the loose ends have been neatly tied up and gift-wrapped! Looks like we can enjoy a little peace, quiet and ree-lak-sa-tion for a change. Right, gang?”

Everyone: -skeptical-

Beast: “Uh... nah, I don’t believe it, either! *Sigh*”

Racial dubiousness of the issue aside, a nice little story. The Avengers take attempted soul kidnapping in stride because they’ve seen weirder things.

And Jocasta! She fades back into the background as soon as she gets the Avengers where they need to be but she’s real fun in this story. I’m pretty sure I’m to be disappointed but I hope she hangs around the book for a while. Saying and doing things. Where is her character to go? She was built solely to be a wife to Ultron but she rejected that destiny. And unlike Vision who got to define himself absent of Wonder Man for a while, the Wasp is still around. So whither Jocasta from here?

Next time: THE ABSORBING MAN. Well, in the main book.

I remembered to check annuals and I need to go back and cover one I missed. I don’t know that annuals are essential come to think of it. And I don’t know what I’m going to do when annuals for various books all start being poorly tied together into one story.

Like many looming problems, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Follow @essential-avengers for more content like this but older. I would appreciate it.

#Avengers #Django Maximoff #Scarlet Witch #the Vision #Quicksilver #Jocasta #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging #the kids never visit so why not kidnap them #note: do not do this

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bisexual-in-every-gender · 4 years ago

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survey

[Family]

[Religion & Politics]

[Food]

[Sex, Love & Relationships]

[Music]

[School]

[Beauty & Hygiene]

[Smoking, Drinking & Drugs]

[Random]

My razor only has two blades. My keyboard is black. I use my friends as arm rests and pillows. My favorite number is odd. My favorite number is a single digit. I love having butterflies in my stomach. The last make up I wore was eyeliner. I’d love to have a winter wedding. I’m really ticklish. I have a facial piercing. I’d only get a tattoo that has significant meaning to me. My boyfriend wife is taller than I am. My school has a shitty football team. I play Pet Society on Facebook. All politicians are the same, in my opinion. I can’t eat sushi with a fork or else it feels awkward. I’ve never been to New Mexico. I’d definitely consider adoption if I couldn’t have my own children. I like plain-colored t-shirts. Horror movies don’t really scare me. I have a decent vocabulary. Lord of the Rings doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t play any sports. I prefer orange juice to apple juice. I like my toast with butter and jelly. I love cream cheese. I have a celebrity crush. I get frequent headaches. I can play a little piano. My boyfriend drives an Asian car. And so do I. I WANT MORE PIERCINGS. My favorite fruit is a type of berry. I miss somebody right now. Some of my friends live far away. I can burp out the alphabet. I love breadsticks. I can count to ten in at least two languages. I’d love to have a pet owl. I prefer dogs to cats. I only wear actual perfume on special occasions. But I wear body spray on a daily basis. I have pictures of my sibling/s on my phone. ______________________________________________________________

What I have…

Purse/bag

Closet

Bedside Drawer

DVD Shelf

Yard

iTunes (I’ll say my phone since I don’t have an iPhone)

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shiyaki · 7 years ago

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Symphony 1

Pairing: Vishous / Butch aka Dhestroyer

Fandoms: Black Dagger Brotherhood

Summary: “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but I guess weirder things have happened, true? You’re in a time loop?”

Warnings: Temporary character death, swearing, violence

“Hey Cop, feeling better?”

„V, already finished your rounds?” Butch raised his hand in greeting, but didn’t bother looking away from the TV in front of him or providing an update on his current state of health. “Hey, do ya know anyone who’s good at playing the piano? Or making ice sculptures?”

From the corner of his eye he noticed Vishous stop in mid-motion, the gloveless hand no longer seeking a self-rolled cigarette and the right foot still raised from nudging the door closed. Even without seeing it, he could vividly imagine the current ‘what the fuck’-expression on his best friend’s face. Butch’s lips curled into a wistful grin. Incredulity was a good look on the other male; every expression was a good look on him except for that one. The one burned into Butch’s soul and which he never ever wanted to experience again.

“Why? Did the transition knock loose more than a sudden appreciation for chocolate? What’s up with the sudden art enthusiasm?” V ribbed after a short moment of silence and lowered his hand, the cigarette apparently forgotten for the moment. He approached the couch, where he spent a full minute watching Bill Murray tinkling the ivories on the widescreen. “You’re watching Grounddog Day…”

“Yup.” Ignoring Vishous’ judgingly raised eyebrow, Butch stuffed a bite of the huge, extra-cheese pizza, with cheesy crust into his mouth. He didn’t even feel guilty about the amount of fat he was currently consuming. Besides a vampire’s ridiculously quick metabolism, which would be the envy of every and all eating contest participants worldwide, the calories wouldn’t be a problem for more than a few days.

V’s piercing gaze wandered from the side of Butch’s head to the half-emptied bottle of Lagavulin and the stack of DVDs on the coffee table, then he picked up the latter. His diamond colored eyes quickly skimmed the synopses on the back covers and with each one the furrows on V’s forehead became more pronounced. Finally he dropped the movies back onto the table and eyed Butch bemusedly.

“You must be really bored. A time loop marathon, Cop?”

Butch silently stared back at Vishous, chewing away on another mouthful and using the time to ponder the situation. Did he want V to know? It wasn’t like it was going to help his plight, but… Well, who was he kidding? Of course he wanted him to know. He wanted him to know and keep knowing and he wanted a lot of other things that were out of his reach.

“It’s kinda soothing.” Butch averted his gaze from V’s half lidded eyes and hissed in annoyance when he shifted and irritated his still sensitive skin. “They’re caught in a loop, forced to experience the same day time and time again, while everyone around them forgets. It’s slowly driving them insane, because they have no idea how to escape and they’re starting to do stupid things, but…” A pair of black boots appeared in front of him seconds before two heavy hands settled on his shoulders.

“Butch?”

“… But in the end they fix whatever the fuck needs fixing and then they’re on their merry way to the future,” Butch finished and closed his eyes. His mouth had run away with him, but he honestly didn’t care, he was just so tired and sick of this.

“You don’t sound all that soothed,” Vishous assessed. It seemed more like an afterthought, though the squeeze to Butch’s shoulder felt earnest. “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but I guess weirder things have happened, true? You’re in a time loop?”

Butch wasn’t too surprised that V had jumped to that conclusion based on his ramblings or that the other vampire seemed to give the idea some real consideration. He was great like that. “Always knew you were a smart guy. Or, I guess, bright spark fits you better, with the glowy thing and stuff.” The remark earned him a punch to the shoulder, but he just grinned.

Vishous fetched a still unopened bottle of Grey Goose and a tumbler from the kitchen and threw his leather jacket over the backrest of the couch, before he dropped down next to Butch. While unscrewing the cap, V side-eyed him, his gaze filled with curiosity and concern.

“So… how long have you been at this?”

“Can’t really say. A year maybe?” Butch put the rest of his pizza slice back into the box and wiped the grease off his fingers with one of the tissues he had located nearby for other, more personal substances. “It’s hard to keep track, especially because it’s not just a day but nine. The loop begins during my transition, which sucks ass by the way, and lasts until the day of my initial initiation into the Brotherhood.”

Vishous forwent the tumbler and took a pull right on the bottle. Then another one. “Tell me everything, maybe we can find out what’s causing it.” “Oh, I know what started all of this. Your-… uh… the Scribe Virgin apparently had some-“

“Wait! My what?” V narrowed his eyes at him, but Butch firmly shook his head and cursed his slip of the tongue.

“Nope, forget what I just said. Buddy, please believe me when I say that you don’t want to know. And honestly? I don’t want to tell ya, especially not now. The last time I was there to witness you getting this information ya went all phoenix or dragon or some shit and turned several buildings into dust.”

Vishous was full out glaring at him now and looked about ready to shake or punch the truth out of Butch, but that hadn’t intimidated him (much) when he had still been a human and it certainly wouldn’t now. Five minutes into their staring match, V huffed and his glare subsided to a ‘This ain’t over’- narrowing of his eyes. Butch barely managed to suppress his grin.

“So, as I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me, the Scribe Virgin had some sort of vision after my initiation, but things weren’t right for it to come true, so she started this damn time loop and it won’t stop until I achieve whatever it is that leads to her picture perfect future. And because she’s an unhelpful bitch, she refuses to tell me what she saw. Only on the last day, by the way, before then she has no clue what’s going on.” Butch had never seen V’s eyes get this big and he had seen a lot of expressions on the other vampire’s face. Huh…

“Please tell me you have never called her that to her face, Cop,” Vishous muttered despairingly into his hands, after he’d buried his face in them. The shock had apparently dissipated the remaining irritation completely.

“I did actually. Once. Didn’t end well, but it’s still the truth. Anyway, I’m taking this loop off, as they say.” It was still ridiculous that he could say such a thing in any plausible context.

“But-“

“No. V…” Butch dragged a hand through his hair and uttered a bone-deep sigh. “I know this is new for you, but I promise, I’ve already told ya all of this. Repeatedly. I’ve told you and the rest of the Brotherhood and Marissa and… Hell, I talked to Rhevenge once or twice. I’ve tried so many different things and I always wake up to the feeling of every damn bone in my body breaking and the knowledge that I have yet again failed at whatever the Scribe Virgin wants me to do. I just… Please don’t get on my case for a few days of time-out.”

For a long, almost unbearable moment, silence was Butch’s only answer. He didn’t dare look at Vishous’ face to gauge his reaction, so he startled a bit, when the other vampire got up. Instead of leaving, however, V swapped the DVD in the DVD player and sat back down. He pressed the play button on the remote control, when the main menu popped up and settled his legs on the table after snatching one of the pizza slices.

“I don’t know anything about piano playing or ice sculpturing, but I can show you some blacksmithing, true?”

Some of the tension drained out of Butch’s body, enough for a small grin to appear on his lips. “And baking bread?”

“What?” V raised a disbelieving eyebrow. Totally unnecessary in Butch’s opinion.

“Well, you… not you you obviously, but a you said that ya bake awesome bread. I’m curious if that’s the truth.”

V mouthed ‘a you’ and shook his head. “Stop talking, before I get more of a headache than I already have. But okay. I guess, we can put baking bread on the list, too.”

~*~

Vishous was utterly frustrated with the situation and being covered in flour from head to toe didn’t even factor in. Though how Butch had managed to turn the kitchen into a winter wonderland or a cocaine drug bust gone wrong (depending on the one being asked) was still beyond him.

No, the main reason was this whole time loop business.

Sure, it was hard to wrap his mind around the concept, but V did believe Butch. The expressions he had seen on his best friend’s face the previous night would have been enough to convince him, but the cop also moved like he had had a fuckton of time getting used to his new body. There were also the new skills in dematerialization, knife throwing and the Old Language. Not to mention the information Butch evidently was and shouldn’t be privy to.

V didn’t know which issue to tackle first. The apparent connection he shared with the Scribe Virgin and finding out what other stuff Butch had dug up on him? Just imagining that the cop knew about his lovely five-star stay in Bloodletter’s camp turned his stomach.

Maybe he should first focus on puzzling out how to stop this time loop shit, before Butch really went loopy. He was already on his best way to the loony bin, it seemed. Why else would they be standing in the Pit’s kitchen, channeling girl scouts? What next? Would they collaborate with Rhevenge and sell hash cookies in ZeroSums for a good cause?

Anyway, Butch had mentioned… other Vs (what the fuck?) coming up with ideas, which had ultimately ended in failure, but that didn’t mean he would just sit around on his ass and twiddle his thumbs. He would indulge Butch’s wish for a week-long time-out, though, because he really, really looked like he needed one and V was pathetically whipped, when it came to the cop. Hopefully he wouldn’t come up with anything too outrageous, like robbing a bank… Huh, that could be pretty interesting, actually. Not the ski-mask wearing, bank clerk threatening take on things, of course, more of an Ocean 11 kinda thing.

“Sorry about dumping this on ya,” Butch muttered, looking up from the dough he was kneading dutifully. He looked fucking ridiculous with the wannabe salt and pepper hair and the smudge on his cheek. “Know you have enough on your plate at the moment, buddy.” His gaze flickered to V’s twitching eyelid, which was usually covered by his, well, their Red Sox cap. Vishous hadn’t bothered wearing it in the Pit. Butch probably knew all about it, anyway, including what his nightmare was about. That was a whole new nightmare in the making to be honest…

“Don’t rack your brain about it, Cop, true?” V nodded to the dough, while his hands deftly worked on a self-rolled. “Throw a towel over that and leave it alone for an hour or so.” A smirk curled the corner of his lips. “You can use that time to play Cinderella and scrub the kitchen clean.”

And Vishous would spend it working on… something, as long as he was far away from Butch and the cop’s growing problem.

Fucking post-trans horniness.

#vutch #black dagger brotherhood #black dagger #butch #butch o'neal #dhestroyer #vishous #slash #fanfiction #vishous/butch #butch/vishous

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nostalgiaispeace · 5 years ago

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1506.

Bold Survey

[Family]

[Religion & Politics]

[Food]

[Sex, Love & Relationships]

[Music]

[School]

[Beauty & Hygiene]

[Smoking, Drinking & Drugs]

[Random]

What I have…

#me #survey

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magical-moment-blog1 · 5 years ago

Text

[Family]

[Religion & Politics]

[Food]

[Sex, Love & Relationships]

[Music]

[School]

[Beauty & Hygiene]

[Smoking, Drinking & Drugs]

[Random]

What I have…

0 notes