#she thought Denmark was part of 'the Netherlands' along with like

[shishiikura]

We joke but I'm not kidding you when I say that I studied abroad in Finland and now I'm forever cursed with having to explain to people here that Finland 1. Exists 2. It's in Europe

[deep-hearts-core]

2000

today's edition of "shiloh watches old eurovision" brought to you by ukraine selecting their song and also @technofantasia's prefsorter!!!! which is going to be really helpful when sorting songs in the future!!! i had been painstakingly hand-sorting songs in google sheets before!!!!! everybody say thank you technofantasia!

anyway lets gooooo

Israel thinking about that post llewyn sent me about 90s eurodance... the stereotypes are all true... the song is repetitive but pretty characteristic of the era, the two main singers just were so low-energy compared to the rest of the group and, most of the time, off-key. i respect the sentiment of the flag-waving although i am mildly ashamed of myself to say i don't recognize the MENA flag in question.

Netherlands good transition at the beginning and good ending pose. her voice was thin but for the most part i think she did a good job. i don't... listen, i don't like this era of eurodance. i just don't. but considering what we're working with here she did well.

United Kingdom this was pretty good! melody is enjoyable and i think nicki's voice really suits the song here. also, this song is a mood for looking at my spotify wrapped this year. lotta songs on there that i associate with the girl who broke my heart. big mood, nicki.

Estonia this was well-staged and ines looks gorgeous, although she does sound pretty hesitant vocally. i think it's an okay song but it does have a "forgettable" vibe to it that i wasn't expecting because i know this placed well.

France i suppose i enjoy it stylistically. i wish sofia's voice had been in better condition because i really like her low range, as it is i spent most of the performance thinking "wow i wish she was singing better". i would have loved this a lot had she been a better singer on the night. i can tell that she has it in her.

Romania in terms of composition, this is my favorite so far, especially the first half. however, i do not like mr. taxi's singing voice.

Malta malta did a good job here! it's an enjoyable song with solid staging and claudette is performing well. something about it isn't coming together for me, which is weird because it ticks all of my individual boxes.

Norway hell yeahhhhhhh!!!!!! this is such an infectious and fun song that it almost doesn't matter to me that they are styled in such an extremely early 2000s way or that their vocal performance isn't exact. i'm having so much fun, bopping right along in my desk chair! easily my favorite so far.

Russia the whole of this needed to be sung in a higher key. alsou sounded so much better after the key change. i'm struggling to tell if i like this because it's familiar to me or if i like it because it's actually to my taste, i think it's a bit of both? certainly a solid staging job. but when i heard snippets of the song before i didn't really like it.

Belgium unfortunate voice crack in the middle there and by the end of the song it did feel like it had gone on forever. songwise not for me but for the most part nathalie's vocals were strong, i don't have anything to outright argue with here.

Cyprus tbh i'm no thoughts head empty about this one. idk, i liked the bridge?

Iceland a great song to mark the halfway point, i'm having a lot of fun with this and i enjoy the male singer's voice a lot. will probably end up higher in my personal ranking.

Spain this song is muted on the video i'm watching (polish commentary archive) so i had to go find the audio elsewhere. it's alright, the studio version is good but obviously i can't judge the live sound at all.

Denmark the whole thing fits together in a way i didn't really expect to happen so i kept startling during the transition between the prechorus and the chorus (the latter of which is the part that gets put in all the winner compilations so it's the part that everyone knows). wasn't expecting the vocal effect, either. it's good, though! i don't think it's my favorite of the night but i'm satisfied with this as the winner.

Germany stefan raab, my guy stefan raab! it's fun, it's weird, it's the german equivalent of ubby-dubby (is that a reference anyone will get did anyone else watch the electric company as a kid), it's rap, it's wadde hadde dudde da in all it's memeish glory. i'm having a good time here. also having a good time running the polish for "due to copyright protection, we can't show the german performance in its entirety, sorry for the inconvenience" through google translate. :) i recognized like four whole words!!!!!

Switzerland eh, it's fine. she has a good belt but for the low notes in the verse i can BARELY hear her.

Croatia i mean the balkans have been sending this exact kind of thing for the past 20 years. it is what it is and i still don't find it particularly impressive.

Sweden well! i could certainly do without the blatant racism. that is what i have to say about that.

North Macedonia the nicest thing i can say about this performance is that it's cute. off-key, verses are weirdly atonal, the english lyrics are bad.

Finland this is overall pleasant. perfectly fine song, i like listening to it, not really a standout in any way but i have nothing bad to say here.

Latvia ah, renars... this man has the same manic energy that you see in other latvian entries over the years. regardless, i want his gender. and my star is a nice song. not my thing but it's nice, he does a good job.

Turkey i like it! i could keep on listening to this! no notes!

Ireland hello, the 80s... i want eamonn's gender too... it's a good song and of course it's a song that places itself solidly in time (being, yknow, about the millenium). it's okay. strong for what it is but not really my genre.

Austria loving the vibes of this, i have no idea what genre this is but i like other songs that are similar. also i adore the bassline here. good job austria.

My top 24

Norway

Turkey

Iceland

United Kingdom

Finland

Austria

Denmark

Russia

Germany

Ireland

Spain

Latvia

Malta

Netherlands

Estonia

Romania

France

Cyprus

Croatia

Switzerland

Belgium

Sweden

Israel

North Macedonia

Miscellaneous thoughts I like these hosts and I like their little gag with the binder at the beginning. Also extremely endeared by the language-mixing.

the postcards are also interesting because they reflect a certain kind of globalized interconnectedness. the 2011 postcards did something similar, but i feel like with the items as opposed to people the 2000 postcards really make a point about everything being connected. not just people but everything in the world has a point of origin that not everyone thinks about!

overall a solid year. really tested my attention, though, and also my polish comprehension lol the polish commentator was CHATTY and he talked so fast and like, i only took a semester so i was basically picking out numbers and nationalities and the occasional filler word.

[needcake]

Bored at work again so gonna shoot another request: thoughts on Bel, Ned, Germany or Prussia? I’ll take any and all hcs you’ve got 🥰

I thought I had nothing, but then I had a beer and I found some stuff to share haha

Ned

Ned grew up too fast after Flanders was annexed into Habsburg Spain by Carlos V, since annexation meant higher taxes and the imposition of Catholicism meant that both Protestants and Jews living in present-day Netherlands were in danger.

He crash-coursed through what usually takes nations decades and centuries to evolve into, things like good morals, strong alliances, trade networks. So in order to rebel against Spain and fight for his independence he needed money, fast, and after Portugal was annexed by Spain in 1580, the Portuguese colonies in Asia became free real state.

The Portuguese employed a lot of Dutch people throughout the colonies, they had historically always traded with the Flemish, and so their very carefully guarded and protected secrets, like maps, trade routes, contracts and more, were stolen and published in Europe. (see this guy for more on that)

The Dutch invented modern capitalism and the stock market to raise a lot of money very fast and build a lot of ships to take a lot of Portuguese colonies. You can follow their path of conquest after rebelling against Spain and notice they never targeted Spanish colonies (maybe with the exception of the Philippines), only the Portuguese ones. Their colonialism was very pragmatic and business-focused, they had no problem accepting foreign religions, a point of friction between the Portuguese and many Asian cultures for example, and were able to take control of the spice trade fairly easy, since the Portuguese navy, now Spanish, was mostly otherwise occupied fighting Spanish wars (and Spain was enemies with everyone at this point, so Port took a lot of damage in this union).

This drive for wealth and power only slowed down after their 80-year war against Spain ended and with the Glorious Revolution in England and the union of their crowns, which meant less investment in the Dutch navy. Ned and England had a kind of the enemy of my enemy is my friend sort of friendship, with some occasional backstabbing on the side, but that's England's relationship with pretty much everyone. And so, while their keen focus on expansion slowed, Dutch colonialism still persevered and never really ended? There are a few islands in the Caribbean that still rely on the Dutch government for international matters, despite having self ruling governments, much like the Overseas France.

I think deep down he's still a shy kid who grew up too fast and made the choices he thought he had to in order to survive. He's very pragmatic and not one to dwell too much on the past. He did what he did, doesn't try to hide it, and tries to do better now.

Best friends with Denmark, btw, they share cows and go on bike rides on the weekends.

Bel

Unfortunately, I don't know much about Belgium to have a clear picture of her in my mind. All I studied from Belgium history is linked to their colonial past, and that is a complex topic.

I think she's a lot like Ned in the sense that she does the work that is required of her and doesn't spend a lot of her time looking back and thinking about the bad stuff. The territory of Belgium was fought over and changed hands a lot between the Spanish, the French and the Dutch, and so I think all of that shaped her into being tougher than she looks, and while she gets along fine with everyone, she also doesn't want anyone bossing her around anymore.

Germany

Likewise, I haven't study much of German history to have very strong opinions. But my idea of Germany is that he's young young, he has a big romantic heart and he loves going for walks in the forest near the mountains. He enjoys the simple things, a good hard day of work, coming home to a hot meal and writing poetry about nature.

I don't think the heaviest parts of his history hardened him. I think he is still the same sweet guy with a romantic heart, but he's smarter now, he doesn't trust as easily, and he's always hyper aware of himself and of others not to let history repeat itself.

I think he also has a liiittle bit of OCD and things have to always be tidy and clean.

Prussia

I struggle with Prussia a bit. To me he reeks of boy genius, you know? The kind of genius that gets easily bored because his mind is running at three times the speed and he can't sit still through something as dull as meetings or lectures.

He's terribly attracted to power, but he can just as easily turn his back to it, because he knows he doesn't need it, unlike England and France and Spain, who all clung to power as if their lives depended on it. He knows deep down that death is inevitable and that allows him clarity. Empires fall, they live on, and that's that.

If he can be bothered, he is a master of philosophy and can debate for hours (Kant was Prussian after all), but mostly he just rolls his eyes and exits the room because you guys are wrong but I'm not gonna waste my time correcting you all.

He also thinks he's funny as hell.

(and anytime he thinks England needs to be brought down a peg he likes to retell the story of the battle of Waterloo from his perspective)

[pepsi-writes]

among us AU

Japan took one step in Medbay, careful not to make any noise. Ironically, it echoed throughout the entire room. "White," he whispered. "I'm here. You can come out now." I'm saying this to reassure the other, and definitely not to make me feel better, he reassured himself. He couldn't see much with the beds blocking the way, but he could see a bit of red. He peered closer. And it was blood, because of course it was. It led to a shallow, dark corner in the back of the room, where some thing covered with blood lay. "White? スイス?" He stepped closer to that thing.

And then he saw-

------

"I can't find the ejection lever in this dark." Russia complained. He was never one to whine, but it was especially getting on his nerves that America wouldn't turn on the lights.

"Look for the lever for goodness sake, I want to get this over with." America threatened. Of course he thought that now was the time to practice his 'energy conservative' plan for the lights. "Что мне искать в этом месте, где нет ничего, кроме отчаяния?" He muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Light on," the other rather unenthusiastically said. The lights responded by slowly crackling on, save for a stubborn bulb that continued to flicker on and off. America groaned, muttering something about replacing lights, then sprinted to the cafe.

He pulled down the lever with a hard clunk. The garbage chute slowly opened its outside barrier, and the remains slowly floated away among the pieces of leftovers and the scraps of garbage. As soon as it shut, Russia rushed out to the cafe, sprinting around the hallways to meet the crew. He had exactly twenty-seven seconds to make it to the cafe, and he had to make it count. He pressed the door to the cafe, and there he saw the crew, somberly seating themselves around the cafeteria table. He followed suit, placing himself between Japan and Belgium: code name Gray.

Japan trembled, desperately trying to wipe away tears, and failing to do so. Russia had heard him rambling along about how white was the color of death. Poor kid must be afraid of getting ejected; maybe it was because he was found next to her rotting corpse. Across him, Germany: code name Lime was drumming his finger on the table, desperately trying to figure out how to console himself without looking suspicious, while a distressed Spain: code name Red was also trying to get him to stop making noise.

Denmark: code name Maroon's face was blank as a sheet of paper, but her eyes were beginning to fill up with water-tears. They were tears, Russia said to himself. Denmark was crying-of course she was. Who wouldn't cry at a time like this?

She shut her visor, squeezing her eyes shut behind the plastic barrier. "I-I-I can't look," she sputtered through tears. Of course: the happiest of the crew finally knew what true grief was. Such is life. France: code name Pink patted her back in sympathy, whispering some happy stuff that he didn't care to listen to. The rest of the crew's faces were either blank stone, or indecipherable.

Russia couldn't understand why everybody was so sad, he really couldn't. Weren't they angry? Was it because he was heartless? Was it because he was in denial? Was it because he had no tears left-

The first scrap of garbage accidentally threw itself at the window, leaving an audible bang! He whipped around at the noise. Canada barely muttered to himself, "It's- it's happening." (Russia also barely muttered to himself "No shit, Sherlock.") Soon, the cluster of yesterday's leftovers followed it, some pieces barely clinging on to the rest of the pile. He held his breath. From examining the trash very closely, he knew what was next. And he was, for some reason, thrilled at the thought of knowing exactly what was to come.

-------------------

gore starts here

A bloody, stiff hand peeked out from the corner of the window, while some dismembered fingers followed suit. Of course, the ejection chamber has done a horrible job of butchering the rest of her. Weirdly, he wasn't quite nauseated by the hideous scene that was unfolding.

The body - was it a body when there was only half of it left? - followed the hand, interrupting his train of thought. It was grotesque, several deep cuts lining all over the arms and chest. Blood leaked out from the aforementioned cuts, but clear crystals replaced those immediately. Some organ had melted to a ripped up piece of white coat and dragged itself across the window, leaving a slick trail of red. Severed pieces of skin followed, covered in blood and shards of glass where it had mixed with the garbage.

Russia couldn't even make out the difference between the skin and the blood, just pure, raw flesh. A mass of greyish-pinkish matter and shards of bone trailed behind that, probably what was left of her head.

This, this butchered up piece of gore, was White. He couldn't imagine what kind of pain she must have been in if she were alive. A mixture of feelings began to stir up inside of him, but he pushed them down, trying to decipher them. A lot of nostalgia, a bit of pity, and obviously a pinch of irkiness, and what was that, joy? No, he must be queasy from food poisoning. Orange was a good friend, but not a good cook.

Russia pursed his lips in an attempt to appear disgusted right in front of the others. This was a victim of a murder, he thought, she was your friend! She was killed, her body is cut in half. That must hurt how'd she actually die or did she just bleed out wait no stop thinking about that why are you happy why does this make you happy stop thinking about that this is bad what would everybody think stop thinking about that ejecting me would be their first option i don't want to die too soon why are you starting to smile what are you doing stop thinking about that-

He tried to get any sort of grief out of him, but all he did was rejoice at the thought. Why couldn't he feel anything but happiness? Was he some kind of sick monster that reveled in the death and destruction of others? What kind of monster was he that he wouldn't notice that someone was crying? The last of the garbage disappeared, dragging his thoughts away with it.

White was gone. Forever. And it was relieving to him, like a weight had just been lifted off his chest.

"L-let's just get to the trial." America spoke, about as smooth as jagged glass. He patted Russia on the back half-heartedly. "Ruski, I know you must feel really sad, but we have to find out who killed her." Weird that he was saying that, because Russia was smiling.

------

"And that concludes the events of this case," Russia: code name Cyan said. France: code name Pink exhaled, showing off a weak smirk to cover her solemn expression. "So," she declared. "Japan really did it."

"Damn it!" America: code name Green exclaimed, "I had my bets set on Russia, but now.." Russia sent a small glare at him, but their silly little affairs were meaningless compared to this. France continued, nonchalant about America's response. "This is something I absolutely don't want to accept, but since all the evidence has been brought to light, it is the truth."

"The Japan we've come to know..." Brazil: code name Fortegreen uttered, suddenly as earnest as even Black, "Is a complete and utter disguise."

"He did murder Zwitserland," Netherlands: code name Black said, "everything he said was to manipulate us, to deceive us. He wanted to hurt us for no good reason, and that's the truth I choose to believe."

"If that was a lie as well, I'd have nothing to believe in," Sweden: code name Tan remarked. He glared at the cobalt blue table as if it itself committed the crime. Japan: code name Yellow shook his head. "You guys..." he stopped, looking up to glance at each member's faces. "I don't know anymore. You guys must be lying. Tell me this is just some elaborate prank. Tell me she's still alive! Tell me that you're not blaming me!"

Canada: code name Purple shifted away from Yellow, trembling like he didn't want to believe this. "All evidence points otherwise," he squeaked. "But I'm still voting to skip, if that makes you feel any better." A faint smile played across Japan's lips. He mouthed a 'thank you' at Canada, who nodded back. "Canada!" UK: code name Blue chastised. "You're seriously not going to vote for a murderer?" Canada nodded yet again, as if it was the only thing he knew how to do. "Yeah, I want to make Japan feel at least a little bit happy." Japan already knew he was going to be ejected anyway. He should just accept it and get it over with already. It's not like anybody was going to magically save him with a contradicting piece of evidence. They saw him in front of White, they presented the evidence, they gave him a chance to speak. That's it. It was a fair trial. He couldn't call on ISS, or MIRA, or even JEM. They would all see him as some cold-hearted murderer that did nothing but lie and decieve. Because that's what he was, at least in the crew's eyes. Now he was beginning to believe it too.

------

"The happiest part of my life was the end of it," Sweden: code name Tan lamented in a sultry tone.

Japan cocked his head. "Would you mind describing that?"

He gave a soft smile. "No."

"Sweden."

He groaned obnoxiously, then chuckled at Japan's insulted expression. Japan was obviously not used to being treated so casually; he probably thought it was some form of disrespect. "All right, but that's just because Russia is here. Oh, just thinking about it gives me butterflies in my petite stomach!"

Sweden inhaled deeply, marking the start of a long monologue. Netherlands covered his ears with his ghost hands right away. "I'm out. I'll see you all tomorrow. I'm not hearing whatever comes out of that mouth. I suggest you come with me, Denmark," he said as he floated out of the room. To catch up to him, Denmark scrambled out of her seat and phased through the wall.

"So, Russia didn't vote me out because he clearly likes me. Anyway, after I was outed, Rus romantically-"

Russia flushed, despite the fact that the story was, of course, just another one of Sweden's made for his own amusement. "Hey!"

"-carried me all the way to the ejection chamber, bridal style. He then leaned in close to my fragile little ears and whispered," Sweden imitated Russia by raising his voice two octaves higher, which sounded exactly like him, while he was basically a tomato at this point. " 'I'm so sorry they had to hurt you like this. I wanted to cradle you in my arms and bask in your warmth, and~"

"I've found someone!" Switzerland: code name White exclaimed, with her head poking through the wall and a big garbage bag in her hand. (He secretly appreciated her for interrupting Sweden because he knew Japan wouldn't be ready for what he was about to say.)

Sweden muttered a curse to himself. "I wanted to tell Japan about my love story! Can it wait- wait. You found someone? Is it a ghost? Do you know who it is?"

"Well, it's not one of us right now because they're in bits, but I'm sure they'll wake up soon, and I saw a bit of green," she rambled as she opened the bag and dumped its contents on the bed. "but I guess it was lime, so it might be America, Italy, or Germany. I believe that if I study this closely enough, I would be able to figure out who this is."

She crossed her arms and leaned in close to Sweden, whisper-yelling at him. "Where are Denmark and Netherlands anyway? I want them to see this," she said, not looking away from the mass of guts and blood.

"They both left because I was too awesome." he quipped.

"Hol' up," Russia interrupted. He raised his hands in contemplation for a while, really. "Are you asking me this blood and stuff belongs to a crew member?"

"Well, I did see a red finger and some chicken noodle soup somewhere in there," Switzerland replied, gesturing to the bed, "so my guess is that they were chopped up and thrown into soup. It took two entire days for me to form and I was only chopped in half, so it might take at least a week for this one to form."

"This murder seems a bit extra," Russia pondered. "Maybe even too extra. Who would do that to someone and not get away with it?"

"Now all we have to do is wait," Japan said, completely ignoring Russia's insecurities.

"Yeah, now we sit here and wait for this one to form."

[coursecolony42-blog]

<h1>Picking The Right Personal Bankruptcy Law Practice Alkmaar</h1>

Content

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[imagine-organization-xiii]

other than, you know, white/American like so many people headcanon them, what do you think the org members ethnicities are?

Masterlist 1 - Masterlist 2 - Masterlist 3 - Holiday and Vacation Masterlist

Buy me a coffee here!

okay so this is what I sort of headcanon these babes as, especially Xaldin because you can’t tell me that boy doesn’t have Greek roots (with that hair and that beautiful skin tone??? bitch, please)

oOoOoOo

Xemnas - he thinks that he may have some Arabic heritage, but he’ll never be sure

Xigbar - his mother’s family is from Italy; he never knew his father’s side of the family, so he’s unsure

Xaldin - ancestors on both sides of his family are pure Greek

Vexen - primarily Swedish on both sides

Lexaeus -  his mother’s great grandmother was from Ireland, but she moved to and married a man from the Netherlands, where his father’s family is from

Zexion - his mother’s family was primarily Polish; his father’s was Japanese

Saix - he thinks that he has a few relatives that are pure French, but the majority of his family is Ashkenazi Jewish

Axel - father’s family is from Latvia; mother’s family is American

Demyx - American - one great grandparent who was Navajo

Luxord - British-Welsh - grandparents on his mothers side are from Wales; his father’s side of the family lived in the British Isles before moving to London

Marluxia - Majority of his family is from Denmark; he thinks his mother once told him that they had a few relatives from Germany, but they kind of faded out of the family tree a little after World War II

Larxene - Larxene has one of those families that has a little bit of everything; her great, great grandma was full-blooded Portuguese who married someone who was Mandarin Chinese; on the other side, she’s part Scot and part Serb, with a little Spanish mixed in

Roxas - family past is complicated (obviously); would go by Sora’s family tree for his own if he actually knew more about them

Xion - family past is complicated (obviously); but going off of looks and her own thoughts about who she wants to be, she has mostly Korean ancestors, but one of her great great grandparents married someone of Japanese descent somewhere along the way

[missmagicandlight]

Happy 102nd Territory Anniversary to the US Virgin Islands!

previous thing i wrote on American Samoa’s birthday that’s kind of relevant: Christina isn’t actually a secret? Denmark found her when she was still the Danish Virgin Islands and Netherlands found what is today the British Virgin Islands (Netherlands named her and then England changed it after he got her to piss Netherlands off). They’re just these sort of there. Everybody mostly forgets about them. They know that Alfred and Christina are at least on speaking terms, but no one really thinks that they’re particularly close

Denmark named her, and her last name (Holm) is kind of a joke since it means ‘small island’ He didn’t name her Charlotte Amalie because he thought it was lazy to name a personification after their capital

British Virgin Islands is technically her sister, but if you put them in a room together they might kill each other

like yeah, they agree on a lot of things but they’re also sisters and they fight like cats and dogs

Denmark was kind of fond of her ‘cause she was cool and adorable, they didn’t really have a parent-child relationship but Denmark was kind of like a chill uncle and to this day he ruffles her hair every time he sees her

She got really upset when she found out that he was giving her to America and it was really sad and she almost made Denmark cry and he had to explain how he couldn’t protect her and Germany might try and take her land over for a submarine base because they were all at war and basically no one likes to bring it up

dark-skinned and will hit anyone who tries to describe her skin tone as ‘dark chocolate’

has blue eyes and gets offended when people say that she has to be wearing contacts bc black girls don’t have blue eyes

speaks Dutch, French, Danish, and Spanish, as well as a little Norwegian and Irish. She speaks French Creole which is what Evangeline speaks in most of the time and they get along decently because of it

part of the greenhouses are devoted to a bunch of tropical fruits because Christina was like... what do you mean you don’t grow sweet apples here? what about papayas? tamarind?

likes fruit. all of it, pretty much. if she sees a fruit she’s never seen before she’s gonna eat it

her and Catherine (British Virgin Islands) play cricket together and it is one of the few times they never argue because cricket is more important than any argument

Likes dancing

can cook but usually she makes spicier things 

likes bright colors

interested in fashion

[singtheskyandfightlikehell]

Eurovision 2019 Opinions

Well, the 26 countries that will be participating in the final are official now, so here’s my in depth thoughts about each entry, ranked from least favorite to favorite along with explanations and a 10 pt rating system. honestly i thought this year was solidly mediocre. a few i really like, about 3 i can’t stand, and the rest are all smack dab in the middle of “decent”. of course, these are just my opinions and I totally get that people will disagree with them. i don’t really care. yeah there’s a few i’ll judge you for, but frankly my opinion shouldn’t matter to you. i’m just posting it for my own record and for anyone who might be curious

26. Slovenia (0/10) I know a lot of people like this entry, but frankly, I cannot stand it. It’s boring. It’s awkward. It’s uncomfortable. If I wanted to watch an m/f couple - or, you know what, any couple - stand really close to each other and mumble for three minutes, I - I don’t actually know where I’d go, because I can’t conceptualize myself ever wanting to see that.

25. Denmark (0/10) Again, why? This entry annoys me a lot, and the only reason I didn’t put it last was because I appreciate the use of more than one language. It’s my least favorite parts of all kids shows combined coupled with a message that honestly I disagree with. It feels a bit like she’s judging me for being upset at injustice in the world when I should just shut up and be happy about what I have. I’m sorry, but I don’t believe it’s acceptable to ignore atrocities just because my life is filled with good things. I could imagine this song being the welcoming number in a musical staged in one of those “everything is perfect on the outside but inside it’s the creepiest shit you’ve ever seen” towns that’s used to hypnotize the protagonist into not noticing the creepy shit

24. Estonia (1/10) I don’t honestly dislike this song, but it does bore me. He’s a mediocre singer with a mediocre song. Also I can’t get past the fact that he rhymes “this” with “this”. It distracts me and ruins the whole thing.

23. Czech Republic (2/10) I really didn’t like this one at first. It was irritating and the lyrics were weird. However, I surprisingly enjoyed the live performance. The lead singer has some charisma on stage. Good for him.

22. San Marino (3/10) No idea how he got to the final (I know it’s bc he’s a meme, but still), but I don’t hate the song. I don’t think it should win, but honestly, I think it’s fun. His voice is ridiculous, but I can stand it for three minutes.

21. UK (4/10) I definitely feel like this is the kind of generic song I’ve heard many times before, but he does a good job with it, and ultimately it’s alright. His hair makes me think of Finn Shelby from Peaky Blinders, but that’s neither here nor there.

20. North Macedonia (4/10) Honestly, I feel like I should like this song more than I do. She has a good voice, and the song has a good message. Unfortunately, it’s just never clicked with me, and I often find myself tuning out while listening to it.

19. Israel (5/10) I like his voice. He sells the emotion. Not a gripping song, by any means, but not bad. Some of the rhymes feel a little forced, like the lyrics were written specifically so that they would rhyme, rather than because they have meaning.

18. Germany (5/10) This one gets stuck in my head sometimes, but I’m okay with that. Tbh, I quite like it. Plus, the whole “sisters (but I’d say girls in general) are taught to tear each other down but need to build each other up instead” theme is one I wholeheartedly support. I spent too many years hating everything associated with girls because society told me to.

17. Malta (5/10) I go back and forth on this one a lot. Parts of it I like, parts of it I don’t. It feels a bit different to me, but not like, in a revolutionary way. The singer is strong, and it definitely gets the award for most colorful performance, literally!

16. Serbia (5/10) I feel like I’ve heard this entry before, too, but specifically at Eurovision. Still, she does a good job with it, and I like her armor-inspired jewelry. Plus, it’s not in English!

15. Belarus (5/10) Another one I go back and forth on. I find this is very good study music - energetic and repetitive enough not to be distracting. I don’t love it (I’m even hesitant to say I like it lmao), but people really ought to stop hating on her so much. She’s sixteen. Let her have her fun.

14. Albania (6/10) I really liked Albania’s entry this year tbh. I didn’t feel she sang as strong in the semi-final as she did in the music video, but otherwise I thought it was a very powerful song. The staging was pretty cool, too!

13. Azerbaijan (6/10) I loved everything about this except the refrain. The “shut up about it” bit starts to get on my nerves by about the second refrain. But the verses sounded cool and the staging was awesome!

12. Sweden (6/10) Not the most exciting song in the world, but he sounds good, the ladies sound great, and there’s nothing I dislike about the song or staging.

11. Cyprus (6/10) Not as good as the music video, sadly, but still catchy and fun. I didn’t really like it the first time I heard it, but it’s grown on me since. I felt bad for her being put on the spot with that one “are you mad about Cyprus losing last year” question.

10. Greece (6/10) Definitely grew on me. I tuned out of it the first time I heard it. Prior to the semi finals I thought it was alright. But she really gave us the lesbian dream, huh? Ladies with neat clothes and swords, plus a garden? What more can you ask for lmao

9. France (7/10) Feels kinda standard to me, but not in the worst way possible. Sometimes I get really into it, other times it’s just a nice song. I’ve been liking it a little bit more each time I hear it, though.

8. Netherlands (7/10) The favorite to win, and I’d be okay if it did. Not my favorite this year, but a solidly good song. I have to be in the right mood to want to listen to it, but when I am? Fucking amazing. Also, considering he never left the piano (and didn’t light it on fire), he gave a pretty good performance.

7. Spain (8/10) This song is so much fun, and it’s definitely going to end the competition on a high note. I’m also really curious to see the full version to know more about the life-size dollhouse and animatronic thing they’ve got going

6. Switzerland (8/10) I loved the music video more than the live performance, but regardless I thought this song was also really fun and, idk, snazzy? Love dancing to it while I fold laundry.

5. Australia (9/10) Australia’s staging was everything! I had them in the upper middle rankings until the semi-final, but honestly that looked cool as all fuck!! Her song is weird, but in a way that I can dig. Plus seeing her soar around like Glinda in space with two fellow witches is one of the highlights of Eurovision this year

4. Russia (10/10) Sergey is back and just like in 2016, I absolutely love him and his performance. I’ll admit, the shower thing was a bit weird, but the song sounded great live! Plus, he had a leg-up for me by going with fairy tale imagery in the music video.

3. Norway (10/10) Initially, I only liked the joiking. The other two singers have grown on me, though. This song is fun, the staging is cool, the singers are great, and then it gets quiet and the joik part comes in, and it’s so fucking cool!! Love it, love it, love it!

2. Italy (10/10) My favorite for a long time, only bumped out because I made the fortuitous mistake of watching Iceland’s interviews. I love the song. I love the message. The thing that impressed me most, though, was that this song is about something that isn’t even remotely close to anything that’s happened in my life. I do not relate to it at all. But despite having no personal connection to the topic, I could feel the emotion in it. For a brief three minutes, I could feel something that isn’t my reality but is the reality of many other people. And an artist who can do that is powerful indeed.

1. Iceland (10/10) If you couldn’t tell from the everything about my blog, I have firmly joined the camp of Hatari stans. It may surprise you, but I didn’t really like this song the first time I heard it. Then, I found out the meaning behind it and gave it another chance. Lo and behold, I liked it! It rose in my rankings from lower-middle to the number one spot between listening to it multiple times and watching all the Hatari content I could get my hands on. I totally understand the music being too far for some people, but as a metalhead during the not-Eurovision parts of the year, Hatari isn’t too far of a leap for me. I love the song. I love the staging. I love the costumes. I love the message. I love the band. I love how they interact with each other and everyone else. I love the bits on Iceland Music News. I love their trolling and sarcasm in the interviews. I love the anti-capitalism. I love their websites (seriously, check them out. they put a lot of effort into them). I love the way they approach issues that are important to them. I love the fact that they aren’t afraid of the tough subjects. I especially love that they aren’t trying to walk the popularity line (you see it all the time - for example, queerbaiting, where a tv show wants to appeal to all sides of an issue, so they make characters nearly lgbtqia+ but then throw in enough straightness to please conservatives). Hatari picks their side in each issue instead of trying to cater to everyone, and I respect that a lot. My reactions and emotions aren’t usually prominent or even necessarily visible, but there’s a chance I might actually cheer if they win.

Finally, the honorable mentions, aka countries that didn’t make it to the final but that I would’ve loved to see:

Hungary (in my original top 10) - loved him last time, loved him this time. Beautiful song, beautiful voice, beautiful staging

Georgia - my hopes weren’t high but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love it. There’s nothing quite like a good dramatic song, and this was as dramatic as they come

Portugal/Poland - the two most people were really miffed about in the first semi-final; I think they’d’ve been alright in the semi-final, but both depend entirely on my mood. sometimes I love, sometimes I hate

Croatia - the song was ‘meh’, the singer was fantastic, and the staging was Eurovision in all the right ways

Armenia - one of my early favorites. could’ve used some other people on stage, but otherwise I thought she did wonderfully

Romania - what can I say that hasn’t been said already? she brought everything! that was an experience and an amazing one at that. so disappointed she didn’t make it

and of course,

Ukraine - catchy, badass, wacky, and wlw? sign me the fuck up. So sad to hear what happened to her. I know people are saying this is why politics should be kept out of music, but that’s ridiculous. The real issue is when the issue/message isn’t coming from the artist. It should always be up to the artist’s discretion what they do or do not promote. Propaganda and censorship go hand in hand, which is why I am so bothered by the blanket statements I hear thrown around about Ukraine’s fiasco this year

And that’s all! I think I’ll be happy with anyone scoring a 7 or higher for me winning on Saturday. I wouldn’t be upset about a 6 winning either, I suppose.

Anyways, off to bed so I can make my snacks tomorrow lmao!

[eurovosion]

 some thoughts on this year’s entries

or i guess just a ranking with comments tacked on

albania - this year’s nf season was a let down for me, partly because a lot of the winning songs weren’t the best on offer, and partly because albania picked first and nothing could live up to it. i love the depth this has, the dark, almost tribal vibes, and most of all i love how they didn’t fuck up the revamp like they usually do. if this is staged correctly, i think this could do really well. 10/10

greece - i feel like this has been overlooked in the wider fandom, which is odd because greek entries are usually pretty polarising, for better or for worse. regardless, i really like this. it’s atmospheric, powerful as hell, and katerine is more than capable of nailing it live. don’t count greece out just yet! 9.5/10

portugal - festival da canção was easily the best nf this year and the portuguese public picked wisely. telemóveis is such an intriguing song with a really curious sound, so traditional yet so modern at the same time. i’m not 100% on the staging, but they have time to figure it out. 9.5/10

spain - la venda wasn’t the song i was rooting for in the selection (rip todo bien, never forgotten) but i’m fully on board with it now. this works so well with a big audience, and you just know that the crowd will be on his side. if this doesn’t go top 10 at the very least i’ll be stunned. 9/10

cyprus - this is just as instant as fuego for me. not sure if tamta will do as well as eleni, but the cypriot delegation has definitely found their winning formula. 9/10

malta - malta is not fucking around this year. this is a verified banger, and their best entry in years, perhaps their best ever. take as many youtube ads as you want, michela, you deserve them. 8.5/10

azerbaijan - without a doubt, azerbaijan is back with a vengeance. you can tell they’re determined to set the record straight and prove that last year was just a blip, because this is great and hopefully the live performance reflects that. 8.5/10

denmark - i really should hate this, but i can’t. it’s so innocent and cheerily optimistic in a way that i can only be jealous of whilst humming along to the chorus. this deserves to do well. 8/10

italy - it took me a little while to warm up to soldi, but once i finally got there i really started to appreciate it. i don’t think it’s a winner, but it’s a very good song, and in the end that’s all that matters. 8/10

san marino - yes, serhat is in my top 10, and what of it? you only wish your fave could write a song in ten minutes and have it go off like this. and yes, if he doesn’t qualify you’ll catch me openly sobbing in the streets for weeks. 8/10

switzerland - an unabashed bop with some actual choreography, but lacking lyrically. then again, so was fuego and that popped off live. he’s also working with the same stage director as eleni, which can only be good news for him. 7.5/10

the netherlands - don’t get me wrong, it’s a very polished song and i’m sure duncan’s great but like... is that it? this is the big fan favourite? i’m very whelmed. 7.5/10

armenia - i was expecting something like yete karogh es from srbuk, so this came completely out of left field in the best way possible. i thought we’d lost our token edgy pop song when ukraine dropped out, but armenia saved us at the last minute. the only thing i’m worried about are her vocals, because, from what i’ve seen, she isn’t the most confident performer. 7/10

serbia - another respectable but ultimately pretty safe pick from serbia this year. nevena has a really strong voice and she sells the song well, so i think she’ll avoid another moje 3 style placement. 7/10

germany - first of all, aly ryan was robbed. secondly, thank god the surprise song didn’t win. thirdly, this is alright. nothing spectacular, but it’s cute and the spinning stage was a great stylistic choice. 7/10

latvia - thank you latvia for letting this win and rejecting markus riva’s basic ass for the sixth year in a row WHEW i really love the whole atmosphere that surrounds this. barring a miracle, however, i don’t think it’ll qualify, but it’s still a good attempt. 6.5/10

sweden - i don’t think it’s john’s most solid composition, but it’s a decent entry nevertheless and it’s nice to see sweden picking an entry that isn’t generic pop again. 6.5/10

united kingdom - my only faint glimmer of national pride so far this year is that we managed to pick the only good song from the flaming garbage pile that was our nf. yeah, the lyrics are redundant and it’s a ballad by numbers, but michael gives it his all and it really pays off. 6.5/10

ireland - this will absolutely not do well but who cares, it’s fun and harmless. super chill and easy to listen, and i think sarah’s a big eurovision fan already which is nice. also i’d just like to take this opportunity to thank her for ditching the ylva and linda song she originally applied with. 6.5/10

iceland - hm. this is one where you need to listen a few times to get a full impression of what the fuck you’re hearing/seeing. i really did not like this when i first heard it alongside all the other söngvakeppnin songs (and most of them sucked lbr), but now i’m kind of ambivalent towards it. i still don’t like the screaming or the key change, but it’s something different and i can admire that. 6/10

slovenia - fine, but forgettable. she has a nice voice, but there’s a distinct lack of stage presence from the two of them and i fear that this might get lost in the semi final. 6/10

israel - i’m conflicted here. i definitely don’t think home is as bad as the fan polls and reviews imply, but it’s not great either. a verse or two in hebrew would have really elevated this and i’m a little baffled as to why the writers didn’t include even a little bit considering the contest is on home turf this year. still, kobi’s a very convincing performer and israel probably didn’t want to win again anyway. 6/10

poland - this is an odd one, which isn’t a bad thing at all in a year full of safe entries. not sure if using the bilingual version was the best shout, but it’s clearly still very polish and i’m glad to hear that they’ll be wearing the traditional clothing on stage in tel aviv. 6/10

czech republic - the chorus absolutely slaps, and if i was judging by music alone this’d probably be in my top ten. unfortunately, though, the rest of the song exists. the lyrics are truly abysmal, with some of the lines ending awkwardly and without proper rhymes where they’re needed, and the spoken-word section is genuinely unbearable. 5.5/10

austria - i honestly don’t know where to place this one. very underwhelming when it was first released, but now i feel like there’s potential here. most of austria’s recent entries have been very under the radar only to end up doing quite well. i’m not as optimistic about this as some of those, but only time will tell. 5.5/10

hungary - not a patch on his previous entry, but pleasant enough. he’s a good performer and unless the staging really sucks, he’ll do fine. 5.5/10

north macedonia - it’s a nice ballad? i guess? and, unlike a lot of their recent entrants, tamara is an established singer who we all know can sing live. there are also rumours that the delegation has been planning the performance for a while, so who knows, perhaps this’ll qualify. 5/10

georgia - this has been growing on me lately. the song itself is a bit of a bust, although the revamp helped, but oto really brings it to life on stage. even if you don’t understand what he’s saying, you can tell by the emotion in his voice that he really means it. 5/10

russia - the nightmare dream team hasn’t produced a good song in over a decade at this point, this included. kirkorov needs to quit fooling himself and let someone else have a go. 4.5/10

belgium - belgium’s had quite the glow up since 2014, but i fear they’ve gone for style over substance this year. wake up is very polished, but it doesn’t go anywhere and eliot’s live performances haven’t been convincing as of yet. 4/10

lithuania - i don’t know what was more shocking, him winning the selection or me finding out that he was lolita zero’s real voice in 2017. this isn’t awful, just very repetitive and strangely put together. 3.5/10

norway - sue me, i don’t like this. the bald guy feels out of place and out of tune, it sounds like it was written by a child, and oh my god it’s so unbearably cheap. 3/10 

estonia - eesti laul was such a let down this year. usually there’s a good mix of mainstream and alternative genres, but the new producer doesn’t seem to give a shit about variety, which is a real shame. anyway, victor’s performance is slick, but he can barely sing and the song itself is nothing to write home about. 3/10

romania - when this was first selected i didn’t mind it, probably because i just really didn’t want laura bretan to win, but as the season drags on i’ve really soured to it. it feels like it lasts for a minute longer than it actually does, and the whole ay-ay-ay part was not a good choice. 2.5/10

australia - as someone who was a big fan of estonia last year, this is honestly the furthest thing from that. it comes across as quite cheap (even without the questionable staging), and the chorus really grates on me. 2.5/10

belarus - i didn’t watch the entirety of the belarusian auditions for them to reject the potato monks in favour of lidl’s own brand zara larsson. 2/10

france - this is why delegations should be wary of selecting social media stars for their national selections. yes, they might get the viewing figures up a little, but they’ll probably win and the song will be Bad. i respect his message, but holy shit is this hamfisted as hell. 1/10

finland - if anyone was wondering how darude only ever had one hit two decades ago, here is your answer. 1/10

moldova - they really don’t want to qualify this year, huh. could’ve had ca adriano celentano, but nope. basic tune, painfully simple lyrics, but i guess her voice is nice enough 1/10

croatia - this... is awful. upsettingly so. at least jacques’ last entry had a novelty factor, but he’s doomed this poor kid to failure. 0.5/10

montenegro - i have absolutely nothing positive to say here. honest to god one of the worst songs i’ve ever heard, and no amount of clumsily shoehorned in folk instrumentation was ever going to save this. i can only pray that they’re spending their preparation time wisely and taking singing lessons, but considering that they probably blew half the budget on the music video, it’s unlikely. 0/10

as for potential winners,  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a lot of the big fan favourites don’t have a winning vibe about them, so we might be in for a shock this year. please let it be albania or greece

also feel free to drop me an ask if you want to chat about last year’s entries since i kind of ditched tumblr for a year or two lmao

[deep-hearts-core]

2014 - final

originally posted 5/29/20

Germany I've always found Is It Right a solidly unpleasant song. I'm not fond of the musical style they're using (polka, maybe?), and Ela's voice is just... she doesn't seem to have much control over it. Beyond that, the staging is sparse, the other two band members look incredibly out of place onstage, and Ela's outfit confuses the heck out of me. France As much of a trip as this one is, I really enjoy it. It's lighthearted and fun... even though it's at times atrocious to look at. I don't usually like songs I can't take seriously, but there's something so excited about this one. I think that this entry (along with the Latvian and Greek ones) are products of Alcohol is Free from the year before... just a bunch of free, unconstrained fun times on the stage. Idk I just really like the chorus of this. Italy The live performance really brings this song to life. Emma's live vocals might not be as strong or supported as some of the other contestants, but she's rocking out all over the stage, working an attitude that perfectly meshes with the rock vibes of the song. I guess I have some questions for whoever thought white and gold faux-Roman stage outfits were a good idea but honestly, I don't hate it, I just feel like it wasn't as effective as another choice might have been. La Mia Citta is a really fun song, great to rock out to, just as Emma does onstage. Spain This has to be one of my favorite recent Spanish entries. Ruth Lorenzo's power vocals really hit during the bridge, it's a good song, and the staging here... there were times where it actually looked like it was raining on stage. Pretty incredible, and a shame that Spain has lost this touch in recent years. Miki and Barei are nice and all, but when will Spain send a song like this again? Denmark The Danish Bruno Mars has come to Eurovision! Cliche Love Song is delightfully tongue-in-cheek for the usually ultra-serious host entries. It's a really great song but sadly Basim's live performance doesn't do anything for me. Like, it's solidly just alright. There's nothing especially bad about the staging, I just feel that Basim doesn't pull it off well. United Kingdom File under: songs that technically aren't about socialism but are, like, totally about socialism. The "power to the people" bit is so catchy, and so telling once you know what you're looking for! Yeah, so this is a great song and Molly is performing the hell out of it, but there were aspects of the live performance that just seemed a bit off. Molly's stage outfit and the henna she had on, the asymmetrical prechoruses, parts of the staging... this was actually really strong for a UK entry but it definitely could have been executed a lot better. My top 37

Norway

Spain

Malta

Netherlands

Ukraine

Austria

Hungary

Finland

Switzerland

Iceland

Sweden

Russia

Italy

United Kingdom

Montenegro

Ireland

Armenia

Romania

Poland

Slovenia

France

San Marino

Greece

Denmark

Israel

Albania

Georgia

Estonia

Azerbaijan

Latvia

Belarus

Belgium

North Macedonia

Moldova

Lithuania

Germany

Portugal

How did Switzerland get all the way up there... what... This is, I think, the first top ten of the one posted here that doesn't include a song left in the semis? 2014 was a really strong year musically for the most part so I enjoy a lot of the songs, even those I ranked in the 20s. Voting/intervals The section thanking the commentators was really funny because, firstly, Graham Norton is always hilarious to hear, but also the German commentator Peter Urban totally didn't know that the fireworks were coming and was so surprised he started swearing a blue streak. I love that. The political implications of that Ode to Joy performance... I read a paper once about how Ode to Joy is basically the unofficial national anthem of Europe/the EU and so it was interesting to see Denmark literally throw it in with their hosting like yeah, all y'all are European, yes even you Israel and the Caucasus nations. The 12 points song was cute. While I found Pilou's China references funny I do wonder if it was a little bit... not to taste. Although the hosts seem to acknowledge this with Nikolaj telling him to shut up and later telling him that not all of the things he named were actually Chinese. Between this and the other skits where Pilou features I'm pretty sure he's the planned gagman to make fun of things like "the host city has to be perfect!" and the whole Eurovision museum sketch... yeah so this was planned and was probably a very tongue-in-cheek joke about the globalization of the contest and whatnot but it just came off kind of wrong. I also caught a shot of the JESC girl from Malta hanging out with the Maltese delegation... that was so cute... I love love love the idea of having all the finalists perform Rainmaker with Emmelie. I really enjoyed seeing the contestants jamming out all together, and you could even see who were friends - I noticed, for example, the singer from Iceland and one of the guys from France dancing together. Much love to the Tolmachevy twins, girlies stayed positive all through the voting even though they were getting booed left and right. And they were only 17 too. Honestly, one of my goals in life is to be one of the cool spokespeople who greets in the language of the host country, and not just hello either, delivering like full-on sentences. They're icons. I CANNOT with the Finnish guy who, when asked to present his points, just started full on rapping, entirely unrelated to ESC, and got Pilou and Nikolaj to dance along. Thoughts after watching 2014 has another of my absolute favorite stage designs. I really love the hosts (even if Pilou's gags sometimes go too far) and the postcard concept this year was really innovative. Like 2015, again, this was a high-quality year in terms of song composition - 2013-2015 were really solid Eurovision years, I think.

[tk-observer]

Scandinavia + Netherlands

It’s been two years since I wrote in here! Gasp!! There’s been one more trip to Japan in that time with Joanna too!

Anyway, before I get too caught up in that—this year’s trip!

Copenhagen!

WAS A BEAUTIFUL BIKING UTOPIA. I loved biking there so much! Even though it was cold and around like 6–10°C the entire time, the city was so flat and the bike lines so well thought out. We never got close to hitting anyone or in the way of anything. Even when we were confused, the bike lanes were made such that you couldn’t cross traffic and get in the way if you stayed in the lines.

We ate so many pastries. I also ate the world’s most beautiful chocolate croissant at Andersen & Maillard. Ugh, it was so beautiful. That cafe was so beautiful.

Lydia and I stayed in Nørrebro, the cutest little neighborhood. We also got to enjoy someone’s tiny apartment, which they shared with a kid?? We don’t know. We had two theories going:

1. They have a baby that comes to visit often, or 2. They’re moving out of the apartment.

Because the apartment was smaller than my studio, and they had maybe 1/3 of the things that I own. Just wow. Really makes you re-evaluate the amount of stuff you have…

Anyway, we biked around, visited Assisten’s Cemetery, which apparently is a place people go to hang out in during the summer. Half of it is public, with grave sites from like the 1800s or something like that, the other half is an active graveyard, where there are memorial services. We visited Hans Christian Anderson’s grave and Niels Bohr’s grave. Niels Bohr!!

Went to Nyhavn, visited the beauuuuuuuuuuutiful public library, went to the royal Danish museum which had a cool exhibit on what “modern” life is like in Denmark now with submissions that were voted on by the museum’s FB group. Also a surprise Pika Pika booth. Visited Christiania in the dark, the time when people are there to actually buy drugs instead of be tourists, Lydia biked with a flat for like four miles (two different bikes!). Food hall was amazing, went to a Zara home I think (dat Scandinavian design tho). Also walking around the Halloween themed Tivoli Gardens at night!! They had all these cute kiosks where people were selling their wares and glögg.

Also randomly while walking around Kastellet after visiting the Little Mermaid statue, we stumbled on a drum core practicing. Copenhagen is really beautiful, especially with all the fall leaves changing colors.

I think my favorite part has to be coming home and watching Pitbulls and Parolees on our AirBnB’s TV. That and Say Yes to the Dress which I surprisingly love to watch. 

Amsterdam!

Was warmer! But there was a mix up at our Hotel Not Hotel which was a little annoying, but still kinda cool. It’s a very gimicky kind of hotel. Our room door was a bookcase. One thing I like nightmare dreamed about was a fire and then for the rest of the time I was worried that firemen wouldn’t be able to find our room if they needed to… Well, there was no fire.

The canals did make it difficult to navigate since the city was shaped in concentric rings. Also, when you were around the neighborhood that was known for selling weed, you would just smell it everywhere. I don’t smoke bc I am small and I don’t like the way it makes me feel, and I really don’t like the smell. @___@

We had dutch pancakes, ate a lot of pasta, discovered Yogurt Barn which was SO GOOD. Biked some more, but in Amsterdam it’s a bit more chaotic. The bike lanes are clearly marked, but that’s kind of it. They cross each other a lot more, so it’s easier to get startled. Also on the smaller streets along the canals, it’s not clear who has right of way, so a few times there was a car coming from my left or right where I did not know if they were going to stop or if I should stop or what.

Visited the cat boat!! Walked through the Bloemmarket, also went to this BEAUTIFUL, fancy restaurant called De Kas. It’s a greenhouse in the middle of a big park, so it’s just magical because you can see all the park around you outside. Also the food was so good. It’s a set course, but my favorite was the salad. They served it with a raw egg yolk, and I don’t know where that egg came from, but it is the best egg yolk I have ever had.

Museum of the canals was super cool! A great little museum executed really well, had tons of cute stop-motion animations to illustrate how the city was built (they put logs in the ground! Just tons of logs that they imported from Scandinavia), and this dollhouse which was my favorite. One of the rooms of the dollhouse you could look into was the room where the dollhouse was. So meta.

Anne Frank house, jeez man. I don’t think I’ve read the book, so I bought it, and I’m going slowly through it.

Moco museum, a modern gallery kinda deal. Lots of Bansky which eh, I’m never really into since I can’t shake the feeling that he’s kind of arrogant, but the Icy and Sot exhibit was so good. I bought their book even though it only goes up to 2016 and doesn’t have their environmental pieces, which I think are amazing. 

Tea at the smallest house in Amsterdam! IT’S SO FUCKING CUTE. Also our host was a surprise historian! He taught us about the history of the house and was a great local host. He told us about how his family was like the fourth/fifth? people to own the home since it was built. Also a proper tea house since it seems that Scandinavia and Netherlands is really into coffee over tea.

Stockholm!

I think this is the point where we were kinda tired from going out all the time. Stockholm again was way colder and even the city bikes were taken in for the season. We took a lot of busses which were expensive (~$5 for a one-way ticket for 75 mins), but the central bus station. THE CENTRAL BUS STATION. Was so gorgeous. It looked kinda like ancient greek pottery.

Stockholm is gooooorgeous. It’s the in-between of the two cities to me. I think Amsterdam was old smashed with new, Copenhagen was mostly old, but Stockholm was like modern old. It didn’t have as many narrow buildings, and way more cobblestones streets and hills. I think biking there regularly would be more difficult. But also, Stockholm is a archipelago city, spread out over small islands. The water’s never far.

Fika everywhere! Unguarded coffee!

We ate Swedish meatballs, walked around the super cute neighborhoods Södermalm and Ostermalm (I think), visited the ABBA museum which was really fun, and the Vasa Museum, which has a 17th century ship preserved from the sea. Like they literally dragged the whole thing out of the ocean and restored it. It’s crazy.

It was also at this time that I discovered that season 2 of Castlevania came out so I ended up watching it with Lydia since she was interested despite all the gore and violence. Season 2 had much more plot going on, way more people, but the animation was kinda stilted. Since it had 8 episodes, it felt like they saved up all the budget for the fight scenes, which were still really good, but I like my dialogue scenes with more than just shots of people eyes. Also, plot was a bit more messy (poor Godbran!). Still, fun to watch! It was interesting to see more of Dracula’s perspective in this one since he was missing the entire first season. I’m really glad they didn’t skimp out on the background artists though. They were A+.

Went to IKEA on the free IKEA bus from central station, which was soooo much fun ahahha. Ate at the nice restaurant (more meatballs!) there and then just walked around. I don’t think we even bought anything, just had fun sitting on things and looking at all the cute children’s furniture and toys. It was so big. So, so big.

And then home!!

I’m so jetlagged rn. It’s like 2000 but it feels like 0200. Waiting on my last laundry load, and then I’m going to SLEEP

[ryttu3k]

Running order is out! First, my semi-final scores; second, my semi-final comments in the new running order.

My semi-final scores:

10/12: Israel, Australia 8/12: Czech Republic, Bulgaria, Finland, Cyprus, Serbia, Netherlands, Hungary, Ukraine 7/12: Austria, Norway, Denmark, Moldova, Slovenia 6/12: Albania, Estonia, Ireland 5/12: Sweden 4/12: Lithuania

Ukraine: Gotta say, I quite like the creativity with the staging this year. Like, no LEDs? Okay, no problem. PIANO COFFIN. You know what, new vampire movie with this guy and Cesar. He is now PLAYING the piano coffin. That was a fun finish! 8/12

Spain: Oh god it's also slow and it doesn't even have cute hair.

Slovenia: Okay this has more energy! Even if it is weirdly monotone? Oh, there’s a range! Okay nah sorry it’s basically at one note. Like if the whole song was the chorus I'd be more into it but the verse parts kinda bring it down. WHOOPS THE MUSIC BROKE. 7/12

Lithuania: Singer please we're not at this li'l indie acoustic gig we're at Eurovision please act like it. Like it's a nice song, it’s just not screaming Eurovision, you know? And now there's a dude for some heterosexuality. 4/12

Austria: That is some cool staging/lighting. Not sure what to make of the song itself, it's a bit 90s ballad. He also seems to be wearing vinyl. Oh my god the big-ass projected image XD And he's off the stage! Always good to go for a wander. 7/12

Estonia: Wow that is an interesting dress. Alas, it is not necessarily accompanied by an interesting song. 6/12

Norway: Oh god he's back. Full disclosure last time I hated Fairytale so much my comment was somewhat along the likes of 'I want to beat him with his own violin' so. This might be interesting. Ah. Karaoke. Okay it's kind of cheesy as hell and yet. I am leg-jiggling. Why am I leg-jiggling. Could it be I am actually enjoying this? An interesting proposition. 7/12

Portugal: Oh god it's a slow ballad. At least her hair is cute.

UK: Okay marginally better. And I never thought I'd say that about the UK XD

Serbia: Okay, this is more Eurovision! We have drums, an old man on a traditional instrument, and strobe lights, plus European languages! Uh, is that the Seal of Rassilon? You know, I can dig this! 8/12

Germany: Nah, too sincere-sounding.

Albania: Are those pop rivets on the edge of the lapels? Interesting fashion sense. Super weird disconnect here, like they have a rock band aesthetic going on but accidentally picked up a 90s ballad. Props for own language, though! Oh, and some high notes! 6/12

France: Yeah, it's okay. Could be okay on the night. I like the sneakers.

Czech Republic: Oh there we go, something nice and weird! Did I just spot a legit neon 90s parka there for a sec? Update: parka is now breakdancing. He's like the world's edgiest private school boy. You go edgy schoolboy here are eight points for you for not being a ballad. 8/12

Denmark: Very intense Vikings. Songwise-though I got nothin'. 7/12

Australia: OKAY HERE WE GO. GO JESSICA GO. Okay that lighting is rad, she looks cute as hell, and the song is energetic and fun! And now FIRE. Hell yeah good shit good shit! 10/12

Finland: SHE SPIN. This is a look. And some pyrotechnics and a stage dive! I can dig this! 8/12

Bulgaria: I love how there's all these super-elaborate costumes and then one guy is just wearing a sweater. It does build up nicely! Slow start then goes harder, nice. 8/12

Moldova: Some weird, nice. Bit too hetero, didn't you get the message, Moldova? The staging gimmick is really fun, though, and it has a bit of energy! 7/12

Sweden: The lighting is great but you do actually need a song as well as lighting effects... 5/12

Hungary: Bless you Hungary for properly waking me up at this hour of 6 AM! CROWDSURFING. Fuck it I am going for the loud barefoot screaming dude. 8/12

Israel: Oh this is... fun as shit! Chicken house music. I like her hair. The cat statues in the background.  It's weird as shit and super Eurovision and also disconcertingly catchy, now that is Eurovision! 10/12

Netherlands: Why - why does Netherlands always do something countryish. That's a really weird consistent theme. Oh my god what is that jacket. Okay it's country but it's also fun as shit. 8/12

Ireland: Okay with the way the light reflected on the mic for a moment I thought he was legit wearing a priest collar thing. Oh look at all the lights! Alas, it is peak ballad. Oh, an extra point for some gay. 6/12

Cyprus: Oh she is very sparkly. Some good energy and fun and LITERAL FIRE to finish the night off! 8/12

Italy: Karaoke apparently!

[multipleservicelisting]

A Bitter Archaeological Feud Over an Ancient Vision of the Cosmos

The disk is small — just 12 inches in diameter — but it has loomed large in the minds of people across millenniums. Made of bronze, the artifact was inlaid in gold with an ancient vision of the cosmos by its crafters. Over generations, it was updated with new astronomical insights, until it was buried beneath land that would become the Federal Republic of Germany thousands of years later.

This is the Nebra sky disk, and nothing else like it has been found in European archaeology. Many archaeologists have declared it the oldest known representation of the heavens, and to Germans it is a beloved emblem of heritage that connects them with ancient sky watchers.

“The sky disk is a window to look into the minds of these people,” said Ernst Pernicka, a senior professor at Tübingen University and a director of the Curt-Engelhorn Center for Archaeometry in Mannheim.

Rupert Gebhard, the director of the Bavarian State Archaeological Collection in Munich, said, “It’s a very emotional object.”

But while Dr. Gebhard and Dr. Pernicka both acknowledge the disk’s past and present cultural resonance, they do not agree about much more. The two men and others are polarized by a bitter archaeological feud over the object’s true age. Many side with Dr. Pernicka in saying that the object is roughly 3,600 years old and comes from the Bronze Age. But Dr. Gebhard and some colleagues hold firm to their arguments that it must be about 1,000 years younger, saying it shares more with totems of the Iron Age.

The dispute is an “unhappy situation,” said Harald Meller, a professor at the Martin Luther University of Halle-Wittenberg and director of the State Museum of Prehistory in Halle, the German institution that is the sky disk’s home. He stands by his conclusion that the disk dates to the Bronze Age.

A paper published late last year by Dr. Pernicka and Dr. Meller offered a strong rebuttal to the case for the Iron Age made by Dr. Gebhard and Rüdiger Krause, a professor of prehistory and early European history at Goethe University Frankfurt. While some believe this should settle the argument, other archaeologists think the debate will, and should, continue.

“This controversial discussion of questions that have not yet been finally clarified will trigger new investigations, especially in Halle, and motivate research to make progress,” said Wolfgang David, the executive director of the Archaeological Museum Frankfurt, who has not been involved in either side’s studies.

The Nebra sky disk is plundered treasure. This is where the problems all begin.

Two men claimed they found the disk, along with other ancient artifacts, during the summer of 1999 on a hillside called the Mittelberg near the town of Nebra, about an hour’s drive southwest of Halle. After denting and scratching the artifact as they dug it up, they sold it and the rest of the hoard to a trader in black market antiquities.

Authorities recovered the disk in a 2002 sting operation, which Dr. Meller participated in, and prosecuted the original looters, who ultimately revealed the site where they had discovered the disk in exchange for a plea bargain.

Dr. Meller also led the excavation of the Nebra site and worked with other archaeologists to establish its Bronze Age provenance. In earlier years, some scientists said the object was a forgery. But consensus eventually emerged that the disk was made by ancient people, and Dr. Meller has promoted the interpretation of the object as the oldest known human expression of clear astronomical phenomena, such as the Pleiades star cluster.

“There’s plenty of evidence for archaeoastronomical orientations and an interest in cosmology and the night sky, the day sky, the planets and the stars during the Bronze Age,” said Alison Sheridan, an archaeologist who has worked with National Museums Scotland and was formerly president of the Prehistoric Society, an international group that promotes prehistoric research. However, the Nebra sky disk is “the oldest example of when somebody made a representation of that on material culture,” she said.

The sky disk may reach new heights later this year when Matthias Maurer, a German astronaut, heads to the International Space Station aboard a SpaceX capsule. Dr. Maurer incorporated the disk’s iconography into the design of the patch he will wear during the mission.

Dr. Gebhard and Dr. Krause challenged that Bronze Age timeline in a study published last year in the journal Archäologische Informationen, saying that the object originated in the Iron Age, about 1,000 years later.

“There is a very unclear situation about the history of finding the disk,” Dr. Krause said. “This is the big problem we have to solve somehow.”

The two archaeologists argue that the disk must have been found at another location and reburied with unaffiliated artifacts at the Mittelberg site to make it appear to be from the Bronze Age, and therefore more valuable. They point in part to an account that one of the looters gave in a book, and claim that since they published their study in September other traders in the antiquities black market contacted them to affirm rumors that the disk was from another spot.

“This site at the Mittelberg is obsolete,” Dr. Gebhard said. “We think it’s necessary to look around to a new site.”

They believe that because of the enormous cultural significance of the disk for Saxony-Anhalt, the German state where Halle and Nebra are, criticism of its popular origin story has been stifled.

Dr. Pernicka, Dr. Meller and other colleagues responded with a rebuttal published in November in the journal Archaeologia Austriaca that reasserts the Bronze Age roots of the artifact.

To counter rumors that the disk came from another site, they first point out that both looters testified in court that they had unearthed the hoard, complete with the disk, at the Mittelberg site. That testimony “was corroborated by a lot of scientific or forensic evidence,” said Flemming Kaul, a senior researcher at the National Museum of Denmark, who was not involved with either study.

Dr. Meller and his colleagues think the disk fulfilled sophisticated religious and calendric purposes for the people who made it. In their new study, they speculate that the Mittelberg site may have been selected as the resting place for the disk — along with two swords, two axes, a chisel and arm spirals in the hoard — because it served as an elevated perch for astronomical observations.

“It was not thrown away,” Dr. Pernicka said of the contents buried at the site. It was a deliberate arrangement, he said, which might have been a ceremonial burial without a body or an offering to the gods.

“We see this actually quite a lot in the Bronze Age, these so-called depositions, or ‘hoards of bronzes,’” said Maikel Kuijpers, an assistant professor in European prehistory at Leiden University in the Netherlands, who was not involved in either study.

The scientific basis for the claim of Bronze Age origin rests on a small piece of birch bark, ensconced in the handle of one of the swords, which was carbon-dated to about 1,600 B.C. Over all, the hoard appears typical of the Bronze Age, which some experts think strengthens the case that the disk also hails from that era.

“Unless it can be proved that the looters intentionally assembled a perfectly calibrated set of objects to set off an intellectual feud among specialists, the most parsimonious interpretation is that the pieces were found together,” said Bettina Arnold, an archaeologist and professor of anthropology at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, who was not involved with either study.

The teams also disagree on evidence provided by soil samples, the provenance of the disk’s metals and the meaning of the bewitching celestial scenes that decorate its face.

Dr. Pernicka’s analysis of the Mittelberg site revealed concentrations of gold and copper in the soil, suggesting that metals from the disk had leached out over thousands of years. Dr. Gebhard and Dr. Krause are not convinced that those particles are linked to the disk, and they recommend further comparative soil analysis.

The debate over whether the disk’s iconography evokes the Bronze or Iron Age is more nebulous. Take the curious semicircle at the bottom of its face: Many archaeologists believe this feature, which was added some time after the disk was first created, represents a solar barge, a mythological vessel associated with an ancient Egyptian religion. The presence of this barge, known also as a barque, could hint at the northward spread of Mediterranean motifs across Europe in the Bronze Age.

“The Nebra sky disk should be considered as a religious object of utmost importance for our understanding of Bronze Age religion,” Dr. Kaul said. “When considering this figure as a solar barque in particular, it stands among the earliest renderings of the sun ship in the iconography of Europe.”

The solar barge interpretation is challenged by Dr. Gebhard and Dr. Krause, who think the curved shape of the figure does not match contemporaneous depictions of such sky boats found in dig sites from Egypt up through Scandinavia.

“We have no pictures, indeed, with barges which are totally round,” Dr. Gebhard said.

If their hypothesis about the solar barge is accurate, it raises doubts about the circular icon on the disk, commonly thought to be the sun. Dr. Gebhard and Dr. Krause counter that it is a full moon, situated to the left of the crescent phase. This interpretation of the disk, along with the presence of so many stars, corresponds to how European cultures of the Iron Age viewed the night sky, they say.

“In the Bronze Age, the disk is unique in form and decoration,” Dr. David said. “The representations are too naturalistic for the early and middle Bronze Age, in which lunar and solar motifs are represented in a very abstract way.”

However, some archaeologists have come to the opposite conclusion. Dr. Arnold said the disk was “much more consistent with Bronze Age iconographic and ideological concepts than those of the Iron Age in Central Europe,” and Dr. Kaul said he had “no problems with the iconography of the Nebra sky disk in European middle Bronze Age context.”

Dr. Kuijpers sees problems with both sides’ views on the iconography because the disk “doesn’t fit either period,” he said. In his view, the fixation on an artifact that is without parallel is the biggest problem with this dispute.

“It’s really unfortunate if we put all our focus on one exceptional status object,” Dr. Kuijpers said. “I think that’s not helping our discipline and what we can actually do. It’s great and fantastic to study and look at, but also, in a way, irrelevant to the bigger picture of normal early Bronze Age society.”

While parts of the iconography debate will remain subjective, Dr. Sheridan said she thought Dr. Pernicka and Dr. Meller’s article should settle the argument that the artifact was “a genuine early Bronze Age find.”

But the Nebra sky disk is an archaeological wild card, made as much from secrets as it is from gold, bronze and copper. The visual flair of its cosmic tableau continues to captivate public imagination, even as its elusive significance and the crimes that led to its excavation imbue the relic with tantalizing mystery.

“While on balance the evidence (such as it is) is tilted in favor of a Bronze Age date,” Dr. Arnold wrote in an email, “the Nebra Disk is a fascinating but tragic find whose true importance will likely remain obscure no matter how many tests it is subjected to.”

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[newstfionline]

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Wonders from weeds (Times of London) Colleagues quietly scoffed when Alessandra Devoto, a plant biologist, started dedicating her time to researching the medicinal properties of a roadside weed. After years of study, however, she appears to have proved them wrong. Scientists have found that Arabidopsis thaliana, also known as mouse-ear cress or thale cress, stops the growth of breast cancer without damaging the healthy cells. It could help the development of chemotherapy treatments without side-effects. “The plant is very much like the Cinderella of the medicinal plant world—no one thought it was so special, but it has shown its true colors,” Professor Devoto, from Royal Holloway, University of London, said.

Walmart Pulls Guns, Ammo Displays in U.S. Stores, Citing Civil Unrest (WSJ) Walmart Inc. has removed all guns and ammunition from the sales floors of its U.S. stores this week, aiming to head off any potential theft of firearms if stores are broken into amid social unrest. The retail giant, which sells firearms in about half of its 4,700 U.S. stores, said customers can still purchase guns and ammunition upon request even though they are no longer on display. “We have seen some isolated civil unrest and as we have done on several occasions over the last few years, we have moved our firearms and ammunition off the sales floor as a precaution for the safety of our associates and customers,” a Walmart spokesman said. The company hasn’t decided how long the items will stay out of view, he said. Walmart also removed firearms and ammunition from stores this summer in the wake of George Floyd’s killing by police when several of Walmart’s stores were damaged.

Foreign journalists covering the US election (CJR) With the election approaching, America is a prime global news story, and foreign correspondents are playing a crucial role translating the febrile atmosphere for readers and viewers back home. (Donald Trump has fans abroad, of course, but most international observers seem to want him gone: only around fifteen percent of respondents to a recent poll covering seven European countries hope that he’s reelected.) This week, the New Yorker released a documentary about how foreign correspondents view the United States. Larry Madowo, a Kenyan journalist who works for the BBC, said that he’s been stunned to see that “the same things that America has been lecturing Africa on appear to be happening right here at home.” Alan Cassidy, who reports for the Swiss newspaper Tages-Anzeiger, described America in 2020 as “a car-crash situation: you don’t really want to watch, but you have to because it’s so outlandish and crazy and insane.” Jesper Steinmetz, of Denmark’s TV2, said that “it’s great working in this country, because it is fun to keep being baffled by what happens.” Arjen van der Horst, of the Dutch broadcaster NOS, argued that, contrary to many Americans’ view of themselves, “in so many ways, you’re the opposite of exceptional.” Svanberg and some of the journalists interviewed by the New Yorker feel that not being from the US is an advantage in their reporting, and affords them a measure of protection: they are, after all, not part of the “fake” domestic news media that Trump has encouraged many Americans to hate. But rubber bullets don’t discriminate—and American immigration officials do. Last month, the Department of Homeland Security outlined proposals for reforming the visa that foreign correspondents typically use to work in the US. As of now, the visa is valid for five years, but officials want to cut that period to two-hundred-and-forty days. The change would, ostensibly, “reduce fraud and ensure national security,” but it’s more likely a pretext to crack down on journalism. “The US was the paradigm for democracy. And now it’s not that way anymore,” Camila Zuluaga, a journalist with Caracol TV and Blu Radio in Colombia, said. “What do we see from the outside? It’s like it’s an empire that is going down.”

Report: US knew of problems family separation would cause (AP) Months before the Trump administration separated thousands of families at the U.S.-Mexico border, a “pilot program” in Texas left child-welfare officials scrambling to find empty beds for babies taken from their parents in a preview of bigger problems to come, according to a report released Thursday by congressional Democrats. Documents in the report suggest Health and Human Services officials weren’t told by the Department of Homeland Security why shelters were receiving more children taken from their parents in late 2017. It has since been revealed that DHS was operating a pilot program in El Paso, Texas, that prosecuted parents for crossing the border illegally and took their children away to HHS shelters. The problems revealed by the pilot program presaged what would happen months later: government employees caring for babies and young children in so-called tender age shelters and many parents being deported without their kids. The consequences linger today: Lawyers working to reunite immigrant families have said they can’t reach the deported parents of 545 children who were separated as early as July 2017.

Coronavirus dims Mexico’s bright Day of the Dead celebration (AP) Mexico’s Day of the Dead celebration this weekend won’t be the same in a year so marked by death, in a country where more than 90,000 people have died of COVID-19. Many of those had to be cremated rather than buried, and even for those with gravesides to visit, the pandemic has forced authorities in most parts of Mexico to close cemeteries to prevent the traditional Nov. 1-2 observances when entire families clean and decorate tombs, cover them with orange marigolds, light candles and chat with their deceased relatives, perhaps over a glass of their favorite beverage. “This year, the Day of the Dead must be celebrated virtually,” said Mexico City cultural secretary José Alfonso Suárez del Real, inviting city residents to post photos or videos of their altars on a city website. “It is fundamental that we recover and adopt once again the altars to our dead, which are household altars.”

As Coronavirus Surges, Dutch Wonder, ‘What Happened to Us?’ (NYT) As coronavirus cases have shot through the roof, waiting times for tests and results have grown so lengthy that the health authorities have considered sending samples to labs in Abu Dhabi. Contact tracing, divided among 25 competing contractors, has never gotten off the ground. After months of discouraging the use of masks, saying they promote a false sense of security, the government just did an about face, calling for them to be worn in all public spaces. And topping it all off, the royal family, ignoring the government’s advice to travel as little as possible, flew off to their luxurious holiday home in Greece, adding to growing mistrust and resentment at home. Britain? Spain? No. It’s the Netherlands, one of Europe’s wealthiest countries, renowned for its efficient and organized government in most circumstances—but not, apparently, in the pandemic. As a second wave surfaces across Europe, the Netherlands stands out with the Czech Republic and Belgium as among the hardest hit. It currently ranks sixth among European Union countries when it comes to the rate of new infections, with 56 cases per 100,000 inhabitants—its highest total ever.

Parisians flee, sidewalks empty as France enters lockdown (AP) Parisians fleeing for the countryside jammed the roads ahead of France’s lockdown to slow the spread of resurgent coronavirus infections, and there was only a sprinkling of people hurrying along city sidewalks Friday as the nationwide restrictions went into effect. In France, concerns were growing that rising infections would swamp the country’s health system, so authorities ordered another four-week lockdown beginning Friday. Many areas of the French capital resembled a regular lazy weekend morning—on what would normally have been a bustling weekday. Those who were out frequently clutched permission forms proving they had an exemption that allowed them to to be on streets. The only places that were busy were grocery stores and markets as people stockpiled food and other necessities. All of France’s 67 million people have been ordered to stay at home at all times with no visitors, or risk steep fines or prosecution. There are a handful of exceptions, such as being allowed out for one hour of exercise a day within a half-mile (1 kilometer) of home, to go to medical appointments, to a place of work, or to shop for essential goods. Restaurants and cafés are shuttered, apart from those that offer takeout.

The war in the Caucasus nears a bloody tipping point (Washington Post) This past weekend, the United States brokered a cease-fire between warring neighbors Armenia and Azerbaijan. According to some accounts, the uneasy truce barely lasted an hour. Instead, the conflict in the Caucasus rages on, marking the worst period of hostilities in the region in almost three decades. Civilian casualties are mounting, with both sides accusing the other of ferrying in foreign fighters and indiscriminately targeting urban areas with missile strikes and artillery fire. On Wednesday, Azerbaijani authorities said at least 21 civilians were killed and dozens more injured after rockets fired by Armenian forces using a Russian-made Smerch missile system hit the Azerbaijani town of Barda, which is some 20 miles away from the front lines of the conflict. Amnesty International confirmed that those rockets had unleashed cluster munitions, which are designed to inflict indiscriminate damage and banned under international convention. “The firing of cluster munitions into civilian areas is cruel and reckless, and causes untold death, injury and misery,” said Marie Struthers, Amnesty International’s director for Eastern Europe and Central Asia, in a statement. “As this conflict continues to escalate, Armenian, Armenian-backed and Azerbaijani forces have all been guilty of using of banned weapons that have endangered the lives of civilians caught in the middle.” “The conflict may soon reach an irreversible point where it will not stop without a dramatic expansion of fighting and increased loss of life,” wrote Carey Cavanaugh, a professor at the University of Kentucky who helped lead internationally mediated negotiations between the sides in 2001.

Powerful Aegean earthquake kills at 19 people in Turkey and Greece, injures hundreds (Washington Post) A powerful earthquake in the Aegean Sea left at least 19 people dead Friday in Turkey and Greece, flattened at least 20 buildings in coastal Turkey and sent a surge of seawater flooding streets near the Turkish city of Izmir. The magnitude 7 earthquake—felt as far away as Istanbul and Athens—occurred about 10 miles north of the Greek island of Samos, according to U.S. Geological Survey. At least 17 people were dead and more than 700 injured in Turkey, according to Turkey’s disaster management agency, which said one of the victims had drowned. At least 20 structures, including some multistory apartment buildings in Izmir, collapsed and rescue crews and volunteers combed through the rubble into the night. It was the second major earthquake to hit Turkey this year. In January, at least 41 people were killed in an earthquake that struck Elazig in central Turkey.

Hungry bears with a taste for grapes and chestnuts are causing havoc in Japan (Washington Post) Hungry bears with a taste for grapes and chestnuts are causing havoc across Japan, and thousands of the animals are ending up dead as a result. Two people have been killed and almost 100 have been injured this year as human-bear encounters soar, according to Environment Ministry data and media reports. Four prefectures have put residents on high alert, with some children carrying bells on their way to school. Farmers are counting the cost this week after bears raided their vineyards and munched through thousands of dollars’ worth of premium grapes. Crop losses in many areas are rising. But the news is even more grisly for the bears. More than 9,000 Asiatic black bears have been caught and killed since the start of 2019, according to the Environment Ministry, by far the highest rate since data began in 1950. Bears have been spotted in school grounds and even wandering around a shopping mall in central Japan’s Ishikawa prefecture in recent weeks. Another injured four people, at one point ramming into a police car and puncturing a tire with its claws. A shortage of acorns is propelling the bears down from their mountain homes in search of food ahead of their winter hibernation. As Japan’s rural population shrinks, people have pulled out of the foothills that formed buffer zones between the bears’ mountain homes and the flatlands where people live. “Those farmlands have been abandoned, and they have grown into forests,” said Shinichi Koike, associate professor at Tokyo University of Agriculture and Technology. “They in turn become part of the habitat for bears, boars and monkeys. Gradually, the habitat for wild animals is expanding toward flatter areas across Japan, and approaching the flat areas just behind populated areas.”

Protesting Thai students boycott royal graduation day (Reuters) Some students sympathetic to Thai protesters said on Friday they were boycotting graduation ceremonies led by King Maha Vajiralongkorn in a show of anger at the monarchy amid growing calls to reform it. The ceremonies, at which the monarch personally hands out degrees, are a rite of passage for graduates and their families with photographs of the moment displayed with pride in many Thai homes. But protests since mid-July have brought open criticism of the monarchy and calls to curb its power, defying a longstanding taboo and lese majeste laws that set a jail term of up to 15 years for criticism of the king or his family.

Angered at French call to ‘reform’ Islam, tens of thousands gather in protests across Muslim-majority countries (Washington Post) Anti-French protests erupted across Muslim-majority countries on Friday, with tens of thousands expressing anger over the French government’s call for “reform” of Islam, a day after three were killed in a church in what President Emmanuel Macron referred to as “an Islamist terrorist attack.” In Bangladesh’s capital Dhaka, police said 20,000 protesters took to the streets after Friday prayers, rallying under the banner of two Islamist groups. The demonstrators carried signs reading: “Stop Religious Defamation,” “Freedom of Speech is not Freedom to Abuse,” and “Boycott French Products.” Thousands of Muslims marching in Pakistan stomped over French flags while calling for boycotts of French products after prayers, the Associated Press reported. Police officers blocked roads near the French Embassy in Islamabad, the capital, in anticipation of protests there, according to the AP. The demonstrations were the latest sign of rising anger across the Muslim world, directed at Macron’s government’s rhetoric defending cartoons published by Charlie Hebdo, a satirical newspaper, which denigrated the prophet Muhammad. France has been stunned by a series of deadly knife attacks carried out by Muslim assailants in several cities. But the response to the violence by the French authorities, which included a crackdown on Islamist groups, has energized parts of the Arab and Muslim world like few issues in recent memory.

[nedcanquen]

This Wasted Ring (One-Shot in the Mr 7th Floor Universe)

For the longest time I’ve avoided giving Daan a POV, because it’s been more entertaining to try to tell the story through Matthew’s eyes, but this little one-shot has been begging to be written - so much so that I haven’t been able to sleep for the last three hours.

This will likely be the only Daan POV I write for a while, at least until I make more progress in the 7th Floor fic itself. It takes place near the end of that time skip in Mr 7th Floor where Matthew doesn’t see Daan for two years. 

This fic is NOT NedCan, that pairing isn’t even mentioned.

Pairings: Past Netherlands/Nyo Japan

Characters: Netherlands, Denmark, mentions of Nyo Japan, mentions of Japan

Tiny lights winked at him, sparkling off the precisely cut diamond. Daan moves the ring slowly, held between thumb and forefinger, to catch the city’s lights. He’s left the lights off in his hotel room, but Tokyo’s lights are so bright he doesn’t need them on with the curtains open. They catch the diamond well enough, making the little ring the brightest thing in the room.

A ring that will never be worn.

For lack of anything else to do, he tries wearing it, though it’ll only slide down the first half inch of his littlest finger - Sakura did have small, slim and delicate hands. When he had decided to buy it, he felt a strange sense of satisfaction that on such small hands, a smaller diamond would still look large enough to impress thanks to the proportions.

Daan leans back in the chair and tries to process how he feels - six years, a relationship at a distance - he wasn’t willing to quit his job to move to Asia full time but HondaCorp was a family company, and she wasn’t leaving Japan. He remembers the thrill of the beginning - twenty-four years old and thanks to his old friendship with Kiku, he’s won the project that will put him on the map but it’s not enough yet, it wouldn’t be, until he made Partner, or so he had thought at the time. Falling for Sakura wasn’t part of the plan, it wasn’t part of her plan either, they had known each other in passing because he had been closer to her brother all these years but now something has simply clicked.

It’s against the rules to be involved with a client, and Sakura Honda is definitely a client, as any Honda would have been - but why was it that being romantically attached to a client was frowned upon, while having a close friendship with a client (such as his relationship with Kiku) was considered fine? Daan invested a fucking lot of time into his friendships, hell he lives with his best friend (when he is in Canada anyway). Like many other rules at the time, he convinced himself it was a stupid rule because it was convenient for him to do so.

Six years is a long time. Six years with constant travel added on and Daan sprinting to the next big win, then the next big promotion, rinse and repeat, it had felt much longer. The forbidden nature of their early relationship and the excitement that it had brought, had changed from energizing to exhausting. At twenty-four you could agree to things like taking your time, even though you couldn’t wait to see each other again, to hold their hand in yours, to brush back their hair from their face, to discover a world through someone else’s eyes just once or twice a year - the preciousness of their time together made their love seem even more intense, their fights forgivable. At twenty-four they had compromised - let her earn authority in her family’s company, let him make Partner and finally feel a sense of financial security for once in his life. Let him make sure that his friends and family were alright, let him build the teams that would ensure his eventual transfer over to Asia.

Six years is a long time to wait for someone to grow up. Not Sakura, him. She was ready for this ring three years ago, he knew but pretended he didn’t because he wasn’t ready. Daan has always been afflicted with wanderlust, and it wasn’t as romantic as the books had made it sound. It felt like a curse sometimes, because he would have everything life could give him handed to him, but he would still look out the windows, over the horizon, wondering what there was to be found, what there was to experience, what opportunities or new business was just waiting to be uncovered, what hidden parts of himself he would discover on the journey. Belle understood, Mathias too, but Christian, lucky little wise Christian, seemed to understand from a very young age that happiness came from celebrating what you already had around you. Daan was never very good at being satisfied with what he had, maybe it was because he had started off with so much less.

And now he’s holding a diamond ring that no one would ever wear and doesn’t feel anything. He’s just numb. It’s the first major purchase he’s ever made in his life that he hadn’t been confident about, a desperate purchase - that alone should have warned him. If any of his siblings or friends had come to him with this story - “I’m buying them a ring so they won’t leave me yet”, he’d have let them know exactly how wrong and stupid they were being. In fact he has gone through that lecture before, to Mathias, right before Lukas ended things. Of course he had given himself other excuses in his head, but this was the truth. Yet, here he is, holding this wasted ring, made with his own birthstone which he knows is hideously over-valued in the market.

That’s what bothers him the most on the surface, the waste. The stupidity isn’t too far behind, and since it’s his own stupidity, he can’t deflect this onto anyone else.

He puts the ring back into its little blue box and sets it aside so he doesn’t have to see it. It doesn’t help him any with the memories and reflection. Daan is sitting in a hotel room alone in the dark, with only city lights and the milling strangers below for company. This scene has been half his life every year for the past four years in at least four different cities. Travel, once his balm, has become humdrum like everything else. Most his projects eventually took him back to Indonesia, where he had a ready-built network from childhood friends, but Indonesia had been another compromise because it was hard to keep a secret relationship secret in Tokyo - he was still flying the longer way from Canada anyway. Sakura had eventually worked her way to leading the international departments, including Southeast Asia - HondaCorp’s second largest market - but that was another compromise she made for him. Given a choice, Sakura preferred to be closer to the seat of power in Tokyo, helping Kiku with the things he wasn’t particularly great at and vice versa - the arrangement they had since she had come into the world. Then Kiku had figured out exactly how close Daan and Sakura were.

It’s not his proudest moment, keeping something as important as “I think I’m in love with your sister” from one of his longest and closest friends, but when the love affair first began, they had both thought that there would be a better time to tell Kiku. There never had been a good time, and that was how Daan relearned that you should just tell the truth sooner rather than later, it was always better than the alternative.

But “I think I’m in love” wasn’t good enough for a ring. It wasn’t enough to convince him to make the move to Japan (and it would have been up to him, between the two of them he was more flexible, there was no family business to run). Daan isn’t surprised she turned the ring down, not really, but he had felt a frightening and lonely void at the thought of not having her somewhere in his life. The selfish truth is, there’s comfort knowing that you have someone, even if you don’t really advertise the fact, you know that they’re there. It’s as if there’s one aspect of your life that’s mostly figured out, and it serves as a balm when other things are rough. That balm was what Daan was trying to hold on to, the return for avoiding temptations while he was in this relationship, that he figured he could live with marriage. Sakura was brilliant, ambitious, patient and giving, maybe too giving - he could do worse. If he wanted to request a transfer to Indonesia, there was a 90 percent probability he would get it, leave Arthur with the department in Canada, that was partially what he had hired the man for.

Now Daan finds he’s homesick, and he has no idea how to process this feeling. For the longest time, he was homesick for Indonesia. Then he was homesick for anywhere but Canada, with all its drama and problems - with Belle and Christian telling him to leave them alone to live their own lives, with Mathias pining over Lukas...but these were old problems. Everyone’s grown up, the scars are mostly scabbed over and in the case of his siblings, they’ve been getting along for a while now. Even Mathias has recovered and remembered how to live his life, he’s going to be the next best thing in trendy food culture. Right now, Canada is better than the immediate fact that Daan has burned two bridges at once - with a longtime friend, and a woman he had loved - because he just didn’t know what he wanted, but didn’t want certain aspects of his world to change. Right now, Daan is the one who, compared to everyone else, needs to grow up. Hilarious, he had sprinted to seniority faster than anyone, and now he’s playing catch-up.

Maybe for a change, the greenest grass, the next adventure, the new sense of self, could only be found at home. Hadn’t he chosen to make Canada his base for a reason? Wasn’t it time to spend some time there and really reconnect? At the very least, he wants to cuddle with his rabbits again, instead of having to see videos and pictures of them halfway across the world.

Home. Right. Daan takes a deep breath and feels relieved actually. He’s been feeling relieved, this is the first he’s allowed himself to admit it.

Daan stands with purpose and flips the lights on, it’s time to pack. Halfway through his phone rings - it’s Mathias, so he answers and turns on the speakerphone.

“Hey man.” Mathias greets drowsily, it’s morning over there, which means he’s put two and two together and is worried about Daan.

“Hey.”

There’s a pause. “So I’m guessing since I haven’t heard any news or gotten messages overnight, and how...monotone your voice is, that she said ‘no’.”

Daan doesn’t answer at first, he just rearranges his latest haul of hotel toiletries to make space in his bag for his suit. “It was a long time coming I think, if I hadn’t taken over the conversation, she would have probably broken up with me before I got to the point of embarrassing myself.”

He can hear Mathias’ sigh on the other end of the phone. “So what’s the plan?”

Daan smiles, grateful that Mathias asked him an action-based question, and didn’t express platititudes like ‘I’m sorry’ or anything similar.

“Sleep.” Daan responds. “Then board the plane, by the way, it looks like I forgot my keys, the room’s basically packed and I haven’t seen them. I’ll need you to let me in.”

“No problem.” Mathias yawns. “Just call and I’ll leave the cafe for a bit.”

“Thanks.”

More packing.

“So…” Mathias starts again. “What are you going to do with the ring?”

Daan chuckles with no humor. “Hawk it to a buyer, I’ll get more out of it than if I try to return it, there’s no such thing as a full refund on an engagement ring, they’re like cars, they lose value the moment they leave the store, even if it’s never been worn.”

He can basically see an image of Mathias shaking his head in front of him. “Damn that’s cold.”

“No, it’s making sure it doesn’t go to waste.” Daan grits back. “Sakura and I are over. Unequivocally over and no Mathias, I’m not going to fight for it and neither is she, I’ve wasted enough of her time, taken advantage of it, she deserves better. A buyer will pay me for the value of the diamond, that diamond will likely be separated from the band and both will be reused and resold somewhere else, and some other couple will enjoy it. I’d rather someone else can get value out of this, it beats leaving it in a sock drawer somewhere for eternity until I accidentally throw it out one day.” It’s not a low blow, but Daan is curious, he can’t help but ask, “That ring you bought isn’t actually in your sock drawer is it?

There’s a bit of a pause, but to Mathias’ credit, he doesn’t respond with hurt or anger like his younger self would. He’s gotten a lot better. “It’s in the closet. Man...you’re actually relieved aren’t you? The more you talk the...lighter you sound.”

Daan straightens and rubs his tired eyes. “I was selfish. I held onto someone because they were convenient, not because I actually wanted to work at being with them. This is...expected I guess. I was dreading this moment forever, the ending moment, and now that it’s happened I’m free in a way.”

There’s a shocked silence on the other end before some chuckles. “We are so different, you and I. Do you...do you still love her at all?”

Daan lies back half on the bed as he ponders the question. “I’ll always be fond of her, and wish her well, there is a kind of love in that.” He admits to the quiet of the room. “And I know that I was, once, in love with her. At the end of the day, she did nothing wrong, except indulge me too much for too long.” He didn’t mention the petty point that she didn’t inspire his poetry anymore. She hadn’t for a while. It wasn’t worth mentioning.

Mathias makes a sound as if he expected that answer.

“And,” Daan adds, “My current plan is just to go home, and stay home for a little while. I’ve been looking for excuses to travel as much as I have Mat, and I think even I’m done with it. I’m fucking exhausted, my body has no idea what country it’s waking up in anymore. Once I thought that was cool. Now I just feel like an old man. No more travelling unless it’s for emergencies, I miss Nijntje, Hitam and Maple.”

Mathias must be more awake now because boisterous laughter erupts on the line. “So you don’t miss your family or your friends? Just your little monsters!”

Daan smiles fondly. “Just my little monsters, that’s right.”

“Yeah Daan, come home, live in your own apartment instead of a hotel room. I know you like swiping free shit and charging it to your company, but you did buy this apartment for more than just taking me in as a pity case. Time will pass and you my friend, you’ll move on, you’ll find what you’re looking for. Whatever, wherever, whoever that is, or all of that, who knows?”

Daan smiles at that. “Who knows.”

[pllsetskyonice]

Europe’s Biggest Party

Yuuri Katsuki/Victor Nikiforov

2,351 words

AO3 link

Victor loves Eurovision and no one can convince me otherwise. Dedicated to @clairles who I’ve spent most of the past week screaming about Eurovision with.

(I rewatched practically all of the final for this, send help)

13 May, 21:45

Victor renamed the chat Europe’s Biggest Party

Victor added Yuuri Katsuki, Yuri Plisestsky, Emil Nekola, Christophe Giacometti, Michele Crispino and Sara Crispino

Victor: IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

Yuuri: ...what is it?

Victor: IT’S EUROVISION

Yuuri: oh

Yuuri: that’s the singing competition right?

Victor: Yes! I know we’re not all partying together but we can still scream over messages

Christophe: Russia aren't even competing this year though?

Victor: Yes I am aware, we're still going to watch it though because it's Eurovision and we must

Victor: And stfu Chris, Switzerland didn’t get past the semis with your entrant who looked like she’d stolen the dress from Beauty and the Beast

Emil: Czech Republic didn’t get to the finals either *sobs*

Michele: Italy did!

Victor: Italy pays to be there.

Yuuri: I’m confused?

Victor: Italy is part of the “Big 5”, which is the five counties (Germany, Spain, France, Italy and the UK) that make the biggest financial contributions to the European Broadcasting Union. They, along with the host nation, automatically get into the final

Yuuri: Oh I see!

Yuri added Otabek Altin

Victor: what’s he doing here Kazakhstan wasn’t invited

Yuri: Japan wasn’t either yet Katsudon is here

Yuri: Anyway he’s here watching it with me so I thought I might as well add him

Christophe: Oh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yuri: gtfo chris

//for Israel, add 01//

Victor: HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE GO

Yuri: jfc anyone would think you’re excited or some shit

Victor: me? Excited for Eurovision? What do you think this is?

Victor: OOOH ISRAEL IS UP FIRST NICE

Christophe: I voted for them in the semi finals I think?

Victor: a good choice

Otabek: I like the stage with how they’re making it look like a galaxy

Christophe: drinking game for tonight: take a shot every time you see a piece of white clothing on stage

Emil: don’t

Emil: if you saw the semis you’ll know that it looks like a bridal boutique at Eurovision this year and that will end with alcohol poisoning lmao

Christophe: YUURI YOU’RE IN RIGHT?

Yuuri: …no? I want to enjoy my first experience of Eurovision sober

Christophe: spoil sport

Christophe: being drunk just makes it more fun, just saying

Otabek: this song is very repetitive

Yuri: yeah well, welcome to Eurovision

//for Poland, add 02//

Emil: A wild violin appears

Victor: Did someone leave the door open? It looks there’s a draft on stage with her hair blowing like that

Christophe: *pours a shot*

Yuri: what’s going on with her dress I’m so confused

Victor: me too

//for Belarus, add 03//

Christophe: oh wow I’m don’t even know how many shots I’ve got to do for this one

Yuri: Many.

Yuuri: what language are they singing in?

Victor: Belarusian I think

Yuuri: well whatever it is the song sounds fun

Yuuri: I like it

Emil: not sure why they’re on a boat but I sure as hell want to dance on one now

Yuri: SAME

Yuri: WHERE DO I GET A BOAT

Christophe: aaaand they’re kissing

Christophe: what’s the betting the Yuuri and Victor are doing the same?

Otabek: High.

Victor: stfu all of you

Christophe: AHA! HE DIDN’T DENY IT!

Victor: chris I s2g

//for Austria, add 04//

Yuri: wow the dreamworks boy has grown up

Emil: think you need a few more shots chris

Christophe: I regret agreeing to this

Christophe: I feel like it was a mistake

Victor: you’re the one that started it in the first place!

Christophe: that’s a ~minor detail~ stfu

//for Armenia, add 05//

Yuuri: Is it just me or does Armenia remind you of welcome to the madness?

Yuri: Bitch stole my lighting cues I want them back

Victor: what on earth is she wearing

Victor: chain mail? Is this the 1500s?

Yuri: her jewellery is great though

Christophe: I’m having mixed feelings about the dancing tbh

Emil: same

Otabek: idk I think they work

//for The Netherlands, add 06//

Christophe: coming soon to some movie credits near you

Victor: their outfits are so sparkly

Victor: I LOVE THEM

Michele: song is shit though

Yuri: ^^

Sara: I like it!

Michele: I take it back it’s not that bad

//for Moldova, add 07//

Victor: EPIC SAX EPIC GUY EPIC SAX GUY EPIC SAX GUY

Emil: a hero has returned

Yuuri: ??

Victor: they first competed in 2010 and the saxophonist became a meme after

Victor: he’s a legend

Yuri: wtf is this dancing

Christophe: Bridal Wear 2017 by Moldova

Christophe: I suppose I’d better pour some more shots

Yuri: you’re damn right

//for Hungary, add 08//

Victor: WHERE DO I GET HIS JACKET I WANT IT SO BADLY

Christophe: I’m feeling personally attacked by all this white clothing tbh

Emil: ah

Emil: another wild violin player

Otabek: I’m actually really liking this song

Yuri: it’s certainly not the worst we’ve seen so far

//for Italy, add 09//

Yuri: @michele @sara pls explain wtf is going on with your country’s entry

Sara: I wish I knew

Otabek: someone should tell them that harambe is so last year

Michele: NEVER WE ARE STILL IN DENIAL

Yuuri: this is very colourful

Christophe: at least that means I don’t have do so many shots lmao

//for Denmark, add 10//

Yuri: Isn’t the singer Australian?

Victor: Yes but she moved to Denmark recently

Yuri: like a suspiciously recently kind of recently?

Victor: quite possibly

Christophe: HER DRESS IS RED THANK GOD

Yuuri: I think her shoes might be white though?

Christophe: STFU NO THEY’RE NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS

//for Portugal, add 11//

Victor: SALVADOR!! ❤ ❤ ❤

Yuri: aren’t they one of the favourites to win it?

Yuuri: you know when you described Eurovision to me this wasn’t quite what I was expecting

Victor: yes they are! And yeah I get that haha

Victor: it’s certainly something different to what we usually expect at Eurovision haha

Victor: I think I like it though

Yuri: I don’t

Yuri: MAKE IT STOP

Christophe: on the topic of making it stop

Christophe: oh look it’s the hosts

Otabek: lmao

//for Azerbaijan, add 12//

Yuri: okay what’s going on here

Yuri: I mean I like the song but WHAT’S WITH THE HORSE HEAD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Michele: following italy’s example by including an animal in their choreograph

Sara: or the head of one I guess

Christophe: this is making my head hurt I’m so confused

Victor: same

//for Croatia, add 13//

Emil: ANOTHER VIOLIN

Emil: THIS TIME WITH ITS BIG BROTHER THE CELLO

Christophe: you vs the guy she told you not to worry about

Yuuri: what is going on here

Otabek: I’m really in two minds whether this works or not

Victor: I think it does

Victor: ESPECIALLY WITH THE STRINGS I LOVE IT

//for Australia, add 14//

Yuuri: I like Australia’s song! The guy is only seventeen he’s so talented!

Victor: YUURI WE’RE GETTING DIVORCED

Christophe: phichit better not see this haha

//for Greece, add 15//

Christophe: Someone tell Greece their paddling pool looks a bit shit compared the fountain Jedward brought in 2012

Yuri: You Tried™

Victor: If you're going to bring water on stage at least make an effort

Victor: Real talk though why did Ireland stop sending Jedward to represent them? They were basically made for Eurovision

Christophe: they really were

Christophe: I miss them

Christophe: this song is quite catchy though, I like it

//for Spain, add 16//

Otabek: this sounds kind of like Bruno Mars

Otabek: or some knock off version of one direction

Yuri: MAKE IT STOP

Victor: they can definitely stop with those shirts

Victor: hideous garments

Yuri: oh god that voice break

Yuri: I cringed so bad

Otabek: same

//for Norway, add 17//

Christophe: I think daft punk might be missing one of its masks?

Christophe: ooh it lights up

Christophe: pretty

Yuri: I’ve had enough of this song already someone make it stop pls

Otabek: idk I think it kind of works?

Michele: CHRIS THAT SHIRT IS WHITE I HOPE YOU’RE DOING ANOTHER SHOT

Christophe: …I came out to have a good time…

Victor: crying

Victor: OMG MANS

Yuuri: who?

Victor: he won in 2015 for Sweden and then co-hosted it last year

Victor: he’s a hero and everyone loves him

//for the United Kingdom, add 18//

Christophte: ah, the UK

Christophe: the one country you don’t need to feel threatened by in Eurovision

Sara: idk I think this is song is actually pretty solid? I like it

Victor: it’s another ballad we don’t need another one of those

Victor: also I don’t like the dress

Otabek: the stage looks cool though

Sara: and she can definitely sing

Sara: I think they’ll do better than last year

//for Cyprus, add 19//

Yuri: I want his jacket

Yuuri: I love what they’re doing with the lights and the stage

Otabek: same

//for Romania, add 20//

Victor: Now here is a true Eurovision song

Christophe: exactly, where else would you here yodelling and rapping in the same song?

Yuri: Yodeleeii, yodeleioo

Emil: I WANT THIS TO WIN

Otabek: this is crazy and I love it #Romania2018

Otabek: (Yuri is singing along I just thought you all should know)

Yuri: WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME IN THIS WAY

Yuri: I TRUSTED YOU

//for Germany, add 21//

Otabek: yeah hi germany David Guetta called he wants his song back

Yuri: lmao it actually sounds so much like titanium

Otabek: swear it’s like exactly the same chords

Victor: it wouldn’t be Eurovision without a song that sounds dubiously like an actual pop song

Christophe: haha true

Victor: EUROVISION CHOIR OF THE YEAR? WELL I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING IN JULY NOW

//for Ukraine, add 22//

Yuri: OH YES IT’S THE ONE OBLIGATORY ROCK SONG OF THE NIGHT

Yuri: I LOVE IT

Otabek: we’re barely thirty seconds in

Yuri: I don’t care

Yuri: I LOVE IT OKAY

Yuuri: I’d ask why there’s a massive head on the stage but I’ve learnt now that there’s probably little to no reasoning behind it

Victor: I mean you’re not wrong haha

//for Belgium, add 23//

Christophe: I think it reminds me of something but I don’t know what

Otabek: the beginning sounds a bit bastille-like? Maybe? Idk

Sara: I love the flowers on her dress

Emil: Solid song, I’m loving it #Brussels2018

Victor: no, #Lisbon2018

Yuri: it’s quite obviously going to be Romania stfu

Yuri: “authentic tv host smile”? lol no that has got to be two of the creepiest smiles I’ve ever seen

Victor: lmao true

//for Sweden, add 24//

Christophe: *starts backstage bc it’s the only thing that’s going to make this song stand out*

Victor: I CHOKED

Yuuri: ...are those treadmills?

Victor: Yes, yuuri, they are.

//for Bulgaria, add 25//

Victor: he was born in THIS CENTURY

Victor: I feel so old

Yuuri: what’s with all the talented 17 year olds tonight

Sara: MY SMOL SON

Otabek: this better win

Otabek: one of the best songs of the night

Emil: you still doing shots chris? His shirt is white

Christophe: WHO DRESSED THIS KID I’M HAVING WORDS WITH THEM I THINK I’M DYING OVER HERE

//for France, add 26//

Victor: we’re on the last song what the hell where’s the last two hours gone

Yuuri: I don’t know but it’s been fun

Sara: omg her dress

Sara: I want

Christophe: France: puts the Eiffel tower in the background whilst singing in French in case you’re in any doubt about what country this song is from

Otabek: why couldn’t Bulgaria end the show their song was so much better than this

Yuri: true though

//lines are now open//

Victor: OMG OMG VERKA VERKA

Yuuri: another Eurovision hero?

Victor: how did you know

Yuuri: just a feeling

Victor: those of your who are able to, I hope you’re voting

Sara: of course!

Yuri: um.

Yuri: Ukraine what’s this interval act I’m so confused

Otabek: I like it

Otabek: It’s different

Christophe: OH MY GOD DID WE ALL SEE THE BUTT

Victor: YES

Victor: YES WE DID

//lines are now closed//

Emil: well, I’m sensing a trend here

Emil: “12 POINTS TO PORTUGAL” “12 POINTS TO PORTUGAL”

Victor: that’s not a bad thing! They’ve never won it

Otabek: Bulgaria is doing well too

Yuri: they’re still miles behind Portugal though

Victor: OMG A DOGGO

Yuuri: it’s not as cute as makkachin though

Victor: ♥‿♥ ♥‿♥

Victor: well of course Cyprus were going to give their 12 points to Greece that wasn’t a surprise

Yuri: oh my god this is so tense

Yuri: even though unless something shocking happens in the popular vote it looks like Portugal is going to win

Victor: the popular vote will be even tenser

Emil: well here we go

Christophe: Portugal has won the jury vote but idk Bulgaria might just pull it out the bag in the popular vote

Yuuri: this is worse than waiting for your score after skating

Christophe: lmao true

Victor: okay down to final four

Otabek: COME ON BULGARIA

Otabek: …no

Otabek: apparently not

Victor: YESSSS!!! SALVADOR!!!!

Christophe: I demand a recount

Emil: I mean, I’m not that salty about him winning? 53 years in the contest and this is the first time they’ve won it, there’s hope for us all

Victor: true

Victor: I like that he won HOWEVER what’s this speech did he just drag the rest of the competition I think he’s in the wrong place for a speech like that

Victor: this is Eurovision not the last night of the proms

Sara: he’s brought his sister onto the stage, I cry

Christophe: okay this is sweet

Victor: well, there we go, over for another year

Victor: did everyone enjoy it? Especially those of you who were watching it for the first time?

Otabek: I loved it

Yuuri: me too! We should throw a Eurovision party next year and invite everyone! Is that a thing?

Victor: YES

Victor: YES THAT’S A THING

Victor: I’M GOING TO START PLANNING NOW

Christophe: It’s going in my diary now I do hope you realise this

Victor: of course I do! SEE YOU ALL NEXT YEAR! #LISBON2018