#she then went on to say she went to high school with a lot of black people and the father of one of her kids is black
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dadbodbuck · 3 days ago
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could it shine down here with you?
Rating: G | WC: 1.7k | Pairing: BuckTommy
Loosely based on this post by @loulovingho!
Summary:
Tommy doesn't realize until later that he already asked for Thanksgiving off.
Read it here on Ao3 or continue below!
Tommy is five, or maybe six, and he doesn’t like Thanksgiving. His dad is screaming at his mom because the turkey isn’t thawed. He’s calling her a lot of words that Tommy thinks are really mean. Tommy’s dad yells a lot, but it’s rarely this bad. Tommy’s mom usually waits for it to blow over, but this time, Tommy watches from the living room entry as her face crumbles and she shoulders past Tommy’s dad, breezes by Tommy, and flees into their bedroom.
Tommy wants to follow her, but his dad grabs his arm, too-tight, and tugs Tommy away towards where the half-thawed turkey is laying on the ground, cold and slimy. When they get there, Tommy’s dad hands him a garbage bag and a roll of paper towels and says “Your mom needs some time alone to think about what she’s done. Clean up this mess.”
It’s okay, because later his mom comes out of the bedroom and kneels down, her eyes red and puffy, and she tells him, “I’m so sorry you had to see that, honey. You did a good job cleaning the kitchen. It’s okay, we can still have dinner, even if I messed up the turkey,” and she makes Stovetop stuffing, and takes cranberry sauce out of a can, dishing them up on a plastic plate for Tommy, and a glass plate for her.
Tommy’s not sure where his dad went, but he’s glad it’s just him and his mom for a little while.
Tommy is twelve, and he hates Thanksgiving. He hates most holidays centered around football, actually. It’s a double-edged sword—his dad gets drunk, and his dad gets riled up, and he’s either too loud and happy, or too loud and mad. The Superbowl is Tommy’s least favorite time of the year. Especially when the Rams are playing.
The Rams aren’t playing this year, but that doesn’t mean Tommy’s off the hook. Tommy brings his dad beers when his dad calls for them, doesn’t say a word to his old man, carefully doesn’t flinch when his dad yells angrily at the screen.
For the most part, Tommy sits alone in his room and looks at the picture of his mom. It’s her high school graduation, she’s gleaming in her cap and gown. Tommy misses her.
Tommy knows that his family isn’t normal. That it’s fucked up. But he also knows how to deal with his dad, especially now that his mom isn’t around to instigate anymore. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen if he gets sent to foster care. He doesn’t want to know.
Tommy also knows, somewhere, that it’s partially his own fault. Maybe if he was a better kid—someone his dad could be proud of, this wouldn’t happen. He was always doing something to incur his father’s wrath. Plus, it’s not like his dad doesn’t love him, in his own way. Tommy loves his dad, too.
Tommy makes his own Stovetop stuffing and cranberry sauce from a can. His dad doesn’t eat it, but Tommy doesn’t care, because at least he survived Thanksgiving without any more bruises.
Tommy is eighteen, and twenty-three, and thirty-one. Thanksgiving is in a shitty barracks at the base, a tiny studio in downtown LA, and the 118 firehouse. It’s spent wolfing down an MRE, trying to figure out how to get his horrible stove to work, and eating Stovetop stuffing and cranberry sauce and praying that the alarm doesn’t go off. There are the other soldiers, and Tommy’s rescue cat Teddy, and Howie.
The MRE is as it always is. You get used to the weird textures and instant coffee and chemical heat smell of the food warmer. The funny thing about Iraq, the thing that will keep Tommy awake for years and years, is that it gets cold during the winter. Tommy knew before he shipped out that he didn’t know what much about the country, but now that he’s here, he’s stuck with sick realization after sick realization. The people here are scared, and the Army isn’t helping. Tommy looks at the other soldiers in a way he shouldn’t. Civilians are dying. War is messy in a way that allows people to excuse inexcusable violence. Tommy cannot speak the language, of either the Iraqi citizens or the people he was told would be his brothers. Iraq gets cold during the winter.
Teddy is an orange beauty, with long fluffy fur and a penchant for mischief. Tommy didn’t ask for Thanksgiving off, but it’s a holiday at the Academy, apparently. So, he’s here, listening to the click of the gas range as it tries to light. Teddy watches from the tiny countertop with uncharacteristic judgment in his eyes. When the flame finally catches, Tommy laughs victoriously, and gets to work making stuffing and cranberry sauce for the first time in years. It’s not gourmet by any means, just the Stovetop and the canned stuff, but it feels like his mom. It feels like he’s talking to her again. Tommy wonders if there’s a universe out there where his mom got help before it was too late. He eats his food in the camp chair that furnishes his pathetic living room, with Teddy invading his personal space and trying to sneak a bite for himself.
Tommy keeps the tradition of making himself Stovetop and canned cranberry sauce. He keeps it the year Howie shows up at the 118 and immediately proves himself braver and stronger than Tommy ever could be. While everyone else is busy whining about missing their grandma’s mashed potatoes, Tommy scrapes together his sacred traditional Thanksgiving feast. While Tommy’s not looking, Howie steals half of it.
“Mm!” Howie sighs, “That childhood nostalgia fakeness.”
“Hey! That was mine,” Tommy says, without any real heat. He hasn’t been able to muster anything beyond mild irritation for Howie since he saved his life.
“Oh, because you were going to eat all of that in one sitting,” Howie scoffs, “I’ll pay you back your dollar for my half if you really want.”
“No, it’s fine,” Tommy huffs, scraping out the other half for his own portion. They sit at the table and eat together, and it’s the closest Tommy’s ever had to spending Thanksgiving with someone.
It’s not until they finish eating and the bell rings that Tommy realizes Howie’s the only one who hasn’t asked Tommy if he’s sad he’s missing out on the holidays.
For the most part, his Thanksgivings after the 118 are spent much the same way, but at Harbor, and alone. He gets to put his leftovers in the fridge and eat off them for a few days. Thanksgiving (save for deep fried turkey incidents) is a relatively tame holiday. No fireworks, at least.
Then, Evan.
A lot of things change for Tommy when Evan crashes into his life, all legs and a blinding smile. Evan is a whirlwind and the most beautiful man Tommy has ever seen. Evan is kind of everything.
When Tommy realizes he’s falling in love, it makes him sick to his stomach. He remembers loving his dad enough to excuse his anger, loving his mom enough to let her slip away, loving a country enough to enact its violence, loving the sense of belonging at the 118 enough to allow the kindest people he’s ever met to suffer. Tommy doesn’t love right. He can’t let Evan get tired of him and leave. He can’t poison Evan until he turns into something cruel. So Tommy breaks up with him. Evan asks him to move in, and he can feel the iron jaws of a bear trap closing around his throat, so he breaks up with him.
Tommy doesn’t realize until later that he already asked for Thanksgiving off.
(Thanksgiving came up between them for the first time when Evan asked if he wanted to do their own thing or go over to the grand 118 Thanksgiving Feast.
“I don’t know,” Evan has shrugged, “I mean, I want to spend it with you. I don’t want to pressure you into a big thing if you don’t want to, or if—if you’re used to smaller Thanksgivings. What does your family do for Thanksgiving?”
“Um,” Tommy had said, a little caught off-guard like he was every time they brushed up against the topic of family, “We didn’t really celebrate Thanksgiving. I usually just get a box of Stovetop stuffing and a can of cranberry sauce and call it a day.”
Evan had scoffed, mock-offended. “Well! In that case, we’re going. Mark your calendar. You’re going to cream your pants when you try Bobby’s turkey.”
Tommy had smiled and thought maybe. Maybe this will be the year.)
Tommy sighs and opens the box of Stovetop stuffing. His water and butter are already boiling, so he pours the mix in and watches it saturate. He stirs it and takes it off the heat to sit. A strange, painful sadness claws at the inside of his throat. It hurts. It hurts worse than it usually does.
He doesn’t think about Evan and Bobby’s allegedly orgasm-worthy turkey and Howie introducing Tommy to Jee-yun and how close they had all seemed at the hospital for Denny. He walks over to the mantle above his fireplace, with a small, framed pawprint inside, and Teddy 2021 written underneath.
Five minutes passes slowly without anyone to distract him. Tommy tries and fails not to think about every holiday he’s spent alone, or wishing he was alone. This is the first holiday he’s wished for someone in particular who wasn’t his mom or Teddy.
Tommy eats stuffing and canned cranberry sauce at his kitchen table. Somewhere, Evan is in a house warm with love. Somewhere, Evan is loved, wholly and unconditionally. Tommy’s glad people love him. He deserves to be loved.
Tommy doesn’t like watching football on Thanksgiving, so instead he puts on Mean Girls. After his stomach settles, he’s too tired to do anything but crawl into bed and sleep until his shift in the morning.
When Tommy gets to work, he’s surprised when Lucy says, “Delivery for you in the fridge, Kinard, you better eat it before I can get my hands on it.”
Inside the fridge is a glass Tupperware container wrapped in a plastic Chinese takeout bag. There’s a sticky note attached to it that says Bobby’s turkey is even better the next day.
Tommy texts Evan and asks about it. Evan doesn’t say anything back.
But he does get a text from Howie, and the timing is too quick to be coincidence. When you’re reheating it, remember to put half a teaspoon of water in the dish so it doesn’t dry everything out in the microwave.
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screamofdespair · 2 days ago
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池田理代子 Riyoko Ikeda Interview About Oniisama E... (2016)
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池田理代子 Riyoko Ikeda
Mangaka and Vocal artist, she began drawing mangas during her university studies, and her work The Rose of Versailles, serialized in 1972, became a huge success, even turning into a social phenomenon. She became highly appreciated internationally. She received the Excellence Award from the Japanese Cartoonists Association for Orpheus no Mado in 1980. The French government decorated her with the Légion d’Honneur for her contributions to spreading French history and culture in Japan.
What led to the creation of Oniisama E... ?
When the serialization of The Rose of Versailles ended, I had already decided that my next work would be a historical epic : Orpheus no Mado. But since it would take time to prepare for the historical research and start drawing it, I thought I could write something in the meantime (laughs). I feel a bit apologetic calling it just a filler, though, but actually, "Oniisama E..." was born from my own personal experiences. It’s a very important and cherished memory for me, and it just came rushing out all at once.
So, was your correspondence with the "Oniisama" also based on your own experience ?
When I was in my third year of middle school, just like Nanako, there was a preparatory course offered by university students from the University of Tokyo. I asked the graduate student who was in charge of social studies (the model for Takehiko Henmi) the same thing Nanako did: "Could you be my 'Oniisama'?" (laughs). I was deeply fascinated by the concept of an 'Oniisama" It's different from the idea of love, though. Through our letters, I learned a lot about history, religion, and various things. When I mentioned my interest in Christianity, he wrote me, "Christianity as it is called, not only « participated » in the WW2 but was also one of its central protagonists : This is a historical truth.." I learned so much from those letters and grew a lot. I even went to the University of Tokyo’s May Festival. Actually, the "Oniisama" always had someone with him, like the omiki sake bottle. That person was the model for Takashi Ichinomiya. He was a person with a thin and delicate appearance, giving the impression of a young master from a wealthy family.
What were you like back then (during your school years) ?
I was really bad at sports, but for some reason, I was quite popular with the girls during my middle and high school years. In middle school, which was co-ed, I had good grades, had a very tanned skin, was tall, and completely lacked femininity, maybe that’s why (laughs). Even in high school, younger students would write me letters. After graduating, I found out that knowing someone like 'Ikeda-san' was really a source of pride for them.
Did you have the storyline planned out from the beginning of the serialization to the ending ?
It was more like ideas came to me as I was drawing. I don’t clearly remember if I had planned everything out until the end, but let’s say I had set certain elements in advance. For example, the idea that Kaoru and Henmi would be a couple came to me along the way (laughs). Even for The Rose of Versailles, I hadn’t decided from the start that Oscar and André would end up together. Of course, there are aspects I plan carefully, but in the end, the characters started acting on their own. And when that happens, I feel like the story is "successful."
Nanako is a very emotional girl, but also extremely determined. As for Mariko, she seems to embody the 'tsundere' archetype to some extent.
Nanako is very similar to Rosalie, isn’t she? Devoted, but in the end, she’s the strongest (laughs). For Mariko, there was a real-life model: a friend whose father wrote erotic novels. I gradually incorporated various elements from the people around me. I think many aspects are direct projections. Even the way Kaoru speaks, that’s really how we used to talk back then. We would say things like “Omae-san” (laughs). Oniisama E... reflects a lot of memories and episodes from my student life.
Oniisama E... is a short story, so its general recognition is low, but it has quite a passionate fanbase.
There are many men who tell me, "I'm a fan!". Recently, it's no longer embarrassing for men to enjoy shoujo manga. During autograph sessions, quite a few people enthusiastically tell me, "I love this work!" Some even say, "Oniisama E... is really my favorite!" When I hear that, I can't help but think, "Well, here's a true connoisseur!" (laughs). Of course, there are also many women among the fans. In that regard, I think Oniisama E... has nothing to envy from The Rose of Versailles.
And then, in 1991, it was adapted into an anime.
Actually, I was very busy at the time, so I wasn’t able to watch it properly… What left a strong impression on me, though, was how they carefully portrayed Fukiko’s feelings for Takehiko, which I hadn’t depicted in the original. I thought, "Oh, that’s so wonderful." It really fit perfectly, and there was no sense of discomfort at all.
It's a remarkable aspect of the anime adaptation. I wish I could have read it in your manga as well.
If I had a little more time, I would have liked to draw it myself. Originally, due to the planning period for Orpheus no Mado, I was rushed. Even though I still had many ideas in mind, it felt like I was forced to wrap it up (laughs).
Given what you’ve just mentioned, have you ever thought about remaking or creating a sequel to your own works?
Right now, I’m drawing a chapter for The Rose of Versailles, but... the art from that time was really bad, and I even hate re-reading it. I realize there were things I could only draw back then. When the serialization of The Rose of Versailles ended, I realized that in order to depict Europe, I would have needed much more knowledge of Christianity. That’s why, before starting Orpheus no Mado, I spent a lot of time studying Christianity. I don’t think I could have drawn the story without that knowledge. A work is the product of its time, of its era, the sensitivities, and the knowledge of the author, so remaking something seems difficult to me.
In 2017, you'll be celebrating your 50th anniversary as a writer.
I can't believe it's already been so long, and at the same time, I realize that some parts of my body are starting to hurt, which reminds me of my age (laughs). I've also been very active in music, but lately, progress has been slower. However, I truly want to cherish each passing year. For me, true happiness is living in a way that I would never regret anything, even if I were to die tomorrow. There's no reason to look back on the past. After all, it’s impossible to rewrite it. I don’t reread my works much either (laughs). I’ve lived my way, sometimes causing trouble to others, but doing what I wanted (laughs).
For this Blu-ray release, new illustrations were specially drawn.
I wasn’t satisfied with the drawings of The Rose of Versailles because I think they were awkwardly executed. Personally, I think Oniisama E... is the work where I drew the best. At that time, I was able to draw very precisely, even the lines were very clean. Over time, some works become hard to rediscover, but Oniisama E... is the one I drew almost effortlessly, simply letting the ideas flow. That’s why, even today, I can dive back into it without effort (laughs).
To those who have brought this product.
Oniisama E... is a work that originates from my own experiences, and it’s the work that I’ve let mature the longest, so I have a strong emotional connection to it. The idea for The Rose of Versailles came to me when I was in my second year of high school, which is quite early, but Oniisama E... came even before that. I would like as many people as possible to see and read it.
About Osamu Tezuka :
He wasn’t my lover, nor a relative, and calling him a friend would be too presumptuous. When I heard the news of his death, I really hit the desk and cried uncontrollably. That feeling was something I’d never experienced before, and it was the first time I felt that way about Tezuka-sensei. I truly respected him. Recently, it’s been the same with Muhammad Ali. Tezuka-sensei's Wellspring of the Crane was the first work that deeply moved me when I read it. It really squeezed my heart. I read it at a friend's house, and after returning home, I couldn’t eat, and my mother wondered if I had picked up some food off the ground. Ah, no one could understand! I remember thinking, as a child, that my sensitivity was different from others! (laughs).
Source: Oniisama E... Blu-Ray BOX SET Booklet.
Note : The translation might not be the most accurate word-for-word, but i did my best to make it coherent.
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venus-haze · 2 days ago
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God's Got a Sick Sense of Humor (Father Charlie Mayhew x Reader)
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Summary: Your decision to dress up as a slutty nun for Halloween has unexpected consequences when you make the acquaintance of an equally attractive and disturbed priest. (AO3 link)
Note: Female reader, but no other descriptors are used. Not entirely spoiler-free, but if you’ve watched up to episode 6, you should be good! Also I couldn't find what the parish name was, so I made one up. The gif doesn't really have anything to do with the fic, I just like it🤭 Please look at the warnings before deciding whether to read this fic.
Word count: 2.8k
Warnings: DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT. Non-con involving degradation, rough oral sex (m. receiving); ambiguous ending.
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You knew early on in the night you had made a mistake in costume choice. The vinyl skirt started pinching your waist after less than an hour of wearing it, the nipple pasties were slowly peeling off despite your best effort, and the platform heels weren’t forgiving after several shots of tequila. The vinyl habit stayed in place with the bobby pins you used, but after a while, it felt like it was cooking your head.
Your friends found your plight funnier as the night went on, cracking jokes about how it was God punishing you for wearing the costume in the first place. Lisa had little trouble with her Tinkerbell costume, a green mini-dress and sparkly heels she pulled from her closet and a cheap set of fairy wings from the same Spirit Halloween you got your costume from. Julie’s Bridgerton-inspired costume seemed a bit out of place compared to you and Lisa, but she got a lot of compliments on the details.
For the limited the fun your little desert town had to offer, something was definitely missing from the night out.
“Why did Merritt say she couldn’t make it, again?” Lisa asked, the three of you walking down the street to the next bar you’d inevitably terrorize. All the usual haunts, where the bartenders knew your order and half the patrons were people you’d gone to high school with and definitely didn’t want to see again.
You shrugged. “I texted her earlier, and she said she couldn’t make it, something came up.”
“It sucks she doesn’t hang out anymore,” Julie said. “Did we do something?”
“I mean, her dad’s in a coma, and her mom’s working all the time with those gross murders going on,” Lisa said. “She’s probably the only one keeping things together at home.”
The three of you had known Merritt for years, your friend group becoming tight-knit as time went on. Getting carted to and from soccer games turned into sleepovers and late nights getting fast food. You got to know the Tryons pretty well over the years. Her dad was nice enough, and you always found her mom funny, if not a bit overprotective, but Lois always remembered your birthday.
“I’m gonna stop by sometime this week. It’s been way too long since any of us have seen her,” you resolved.
Lisa and Julie agreed, though you weren’t sure Merritt would appreciate all of you showing up unannounced at her house. You figured you’d be better off going yourself and seeing what the deal was with Merritt.
Stumbling over your platforms, you struggled to keep up with Lisa and Julie until you tripped and nearly wiped out on the sidewalk. You caught yourself on a nearby telephone pole, the lights from the nearby buildings blurring the more you tried to focus.
“Fuck,” you groaned. “I’m gonna call it a night.”
“Are you sure?” Lisa asked.
“Yeah, I’m gonna find a convenience store and then get an Uber home.”
“We can go with you,” Julie said.
You shook your head. “Don’t end your night early because of me.”
“Alright, text us when you get home.”
When the world finally appeared upright again, you looked at the nearby street sign, recognizing where you were, at least. Not far to the nearest shop that you were certain would be open late. You checked your phone for the time and felt especially lame. It wasn’t even midnight yet.
With a sigh, you turned down the street, opening your messages to your most recent text to Merritt. Your FaceTime request went unanswered, so you opted for an audio message instead.
“Hey Mer, it’s me. We missed you tonight!” You paused awkwardly, wishing you could actually talk to her. “Look, there’s a Halloween party tomorrow night, something out in the desert. It’s not too late to get a costume. We could go to the Spirit Halloween in the old Bed, Bath and Beyond—“ A catcall interrupted your rambling. “Look, just call me or something, at least let me know you’re alright? Bye, babe.”
The fluorescent lights in the store were almost headache-inducing, but you powered through for a bottle of Gatorade and a protein bar that you hoped would mitigate the hangover you’d inevitably have in the morning. 
Gatorade in hand, you felt almost dizzy staring at the array of protein bars in front of you, wondering how there could even be so many and if they were really any different. A man walked down the aisle, standing a few feet away from you, though you didn’t pay him much mind until you grabbed a protein bar and noticed he was dressed as a priest.
“Hey, nice costume,” you told him.
“Oh, this isn’t a costume.”
You laughed. “Right.” Your inhibitions lowered, you gave him a once over, your gaze lingering on his handsome face, his muscular arms. “You know it’s a shame we didn’t run into each other earlier tonight, we probably could’ve won a couples contest or something.”
He smiled, though something flickered in his brown eyes that made your guts churn. Except, it likely wasn’t him, as you shoved what you were holding onto the shelf next to you and rushed out of the store.
You wretched, the contents of your stomach emptied onto the blacktop. Tears burned your eyes, your throat scratchy and raw by the time you were done. You felt a hand on your upper back, could barely hear the sound of a man asking if you were okay over the sound of blood pounding in your ears.
Glancing up, you were mortified to see the priest looking at you with concern, though disgust was nowhere in his expression.
He handed you the Gatorade you’d been holding in the store, apparently going ahead and buying it for you. Taking a swig, you swished some around in your mouth before spitting it on the ground. He gave you a handful of crumpled napkins as well, and you tried maintaining what was left of your dignity while getting yourself together in front of him.
You managed a mousy thanks, avoiding eye contact with him.
“Don’t tell me you plan on driving home,” he said.
You shook your head. “I came out here with my friends."
"And they just left you like this? Alone?"
"I told them I'd get an Uber.”
“They'll charge you double tonight," he said. "I can drive you.”
Accepting a ride home from a stranger certainly wasn’t the smartest choice to make, but he actually seemed to give a shit about your well-being. You agreed, if not for the fact that you were curious about him, and the horny part of your brain hadn't shut up since you saw him.
He kept his hand on your back as he walked you over to his car. Almost felt like his fingers were twitching against your skin. 
Getting into his car, you noticed the rosary hanging from the rearview mirror, a saint card clipped to his visor. 
“Oh my god, are you actually a priest?” you asked from the passenger seat as he turned the car on.
“I told you it wasn’t a costume.”
“Shit.”
“Father Charlie Mayhew, from Our Lady of Sorrows, if you don’t believe me.” He smiled, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “What’s your address?”
After giving him your address along with your name, realizing you hadn’t told him yet, you rolled the window down about halfway, finding the fragrant odor of incense and cologne a bit overwhelming for your queasy stomach. The cool night air gave you instant relief, and you laid back on the headrest, keeping your eyes closed for a few minutes. 
Father Charlie filled the quiet with a true crime podcast. Not a particularly odd choice, except that he was a priest, but Catholicism always lent itself to morbidity—his was more modern, you supposed.
“Have you heard about those murders around town?” you asked over the sound of a young woman giving the background of a triple homicide.
“Yes, our parish’s publication has been reporting on it,” he said. “I'm the editor, but one of our nuns is working closely with the lead detective on the case.”
You opened your eyes to look at him in disbelief. “Lois is working with a nun?”
“You know detective Tryon?”
“She’s my best friend’s mom,” you said. “I went to her house all the time growing up.”
“You must know her pretty well, then.”
“Yeah, Lois is one hell of a detective,” you said. “Still, I can’t imagine…whoever’s behind it must be depraved. What he’s doing—it’s not even human, it’s animal.”
“He?”
“I don’t think anyone but a man could be capable of that kind of barbarism, Father.”
“You might be right about that,” he said solemnly.
You drank more Gatorade, hoping to settle your stomach and ease your discomfort with the direction the conversation had taken. But you were the one who brought up the murders in the first place. All had some kind of religious connotation. No wonder the Catholic paper was eating that shit up. 
Catholicism was always predisposed to an especially grotesque morbidity. Open wounds considered blessings. Bones of the holy displayed with reverence. Even bread and wine transformed into the body and blood of Christ himself. Whoever was behind the recent murders was either observant or well-read.
Father Charlie pulled up to your building about ten minutes later, and you internally sighed in relief when he turned the podcast off. You couldn’t wait to get out of the damn costume and into bed.
“Thanks, Father Charlie,” you said. “I owe you one.”
“Actually, mind if I use your bathroom?” he asked.
You shook your head. “‘Course not. Come on up.”
Acutely aware of the costume you were wearing again, it was far too tempting not to show off on the way up to your apartment, swinging your hips a bit more than was warranted, knowing he was right behind you, the tight skirt giving him a full view of your ass. You privately bemoaned the fact that he was actually a priest. What a fucking waste. A guy who looked like him had no business giving himself to Jesus and denying the rest of the world the pleasure.
You took a selfie by your front door, a tired smile and a thumbs up that you sent to Julie and Lisa.
“Just letting my friends know I got home safe,” you explained, noticing Father Charlie staring at you.
You could barely hide your self-satisfied smile when you unlocked the front door. “The bathroom’s through the kitchen, first door on the right.”
“Thank you.”
Making a beeline for your bedroom, the first thing you did was take your heels off. Your feet were still sore, with a mean blister that made you walk funny when you brought the heels over to your shoe rack. You could hear the toilet flush and the water from the sink run in the bathroom. Chewing on your lip, you were almost tempted to ask Father Charlie if he wanted to stick around. If you could just brush your teeth and reapply some makeup real quick, you'd be good as new.
You never got a chance to.
“So, why this costume?” he asked, startling you.
You gasped, turning around to see him leaning against the door frame. “Oh, um—I thought it was funny.”
“What’s funny about it?”
“Well, nuns aren’t supposed to have sex, and this costume is—”
“Pornographic," he said. "I mean, it’s something you get fucked in.”
“Yeah,” you whispered, shocked at his bluntness.
“Chastity. The sacred vow to God that all women of the cloth take, and you—” he scoffed to himself, stepping into your bedroom so he was only a few feet away from you, “you mock it.”
You knew you should’ve picked the sexy nurse costume instead. “I’m so sorry, Father.”
“You will be. Get on your knees.”
“Ex-excuse me?”
“Don’t be crude. This is about repentance.”
The searing venom in his voice made your muscles contort to his will, and you found yourself on your knees. You should have been fighting back, screaming for him to get out, but in your heart you knew it was useless. Back in the convenience store, you noticed his fit physique, and you could hardly count on your neighbors to give a shit if you were in any kind of trouble.
"Do you even know how to make a sign of the cross?" he asked mockingly.
You shakily did so, bringing your left hand to your forehead, then your chest, then to each shoulder. He scoffed, apparently you messed something up, but he didn't elaborate, instead ordering you to repeat after him. The prayer came jumbled from your mouth, 'through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault' over and over until his voice was ringing in your ears like a broken church bell.
The bulge in his pants was impossible to ignore. You kept your eyes focused on his face, even when you heard the sound of his zipper and clothes shifting. But you couldn't help it, not when he was pumping his cock right in front of your face. Your repetition dipped with a slight whimper when you glanced at the size of him, foolishly hoping it was just proximity making his length appear so intimidating and angry, as if it wanted to hurt you just like he did.
“Simply praying won’t do someone like you any good," he said abruptly. "You need another form of penance, something more tangible."
Shoving his cock in your open mouth, you choked at the intrusion, attempted to shift backward and finally make a run for it, but he caught you by the habit you so stupidly kept in place with bobby pins and hit the back of your throat.
"Why don't you give me ten Hail Marys?" he mocked, his looming silhouette appearing outright demonic through your tear-filled gaze.
You didn't know the damn prayer. Couldn't even try to fake it when all you could manage was muffled pleas for him to slow down, go easy on you, have mercy. Your jaw ached, throat burned at the force he used to make you take as much of his cock as you possibly could.
He didn't show any signs of fatigue, save for the beads of sweat that rolled from his face and onto your own. He grinned at that, at you, the position you were in. The church was full of sickos, and he was certainly no exception.
Making one feeble attempt to fight back, your teeth grazed his cock, and just as you tried to work up the courage to bite down, he jerked his hips, cursing under his breath.
"Take it," his voice a low growl as he came in your mouth, ignoring your choking, spit and snot and cum leaking down your face and onto your vinyl costume and exposed breasts, "take your penance, slut."
Father Charlie hardly gave you a chance to catch your breath when he pulled his spent cock out of your mouth. You practically collapsed on your bedroom floor, each gasp of air painful against the back of your abused throat. Grabbing you by the habit again, he hauled you over to your bed, bending you over the edge of it.
He shoved his fingers between your legs and scoffed at the wetness that coated your thighs, your thong doing little to contain your subconscious reaction to the way he treated you. "Oh, that's just shameful," he drawled. "You're not repentant at all, are you? Leading a man of the cloth astray, causing me to sin…why else would you have put this costume on tonight?"
Straddling you from behind like a dog, his body was heavy on yours. With one hand squeezing your neck, the other pressed something against your throat. You reached for whatever he was holding, freezing in panic when you realized it was the hair scissors you kept in your bathroom. He must have swiped it while he was in there. They weren't even that sharp, but the extra effort he'd have to put in to mortally injure you with them would mean it would be all the more painful for you.
“Depraved, animal, barbaric,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “Is that what you think of me?”
You whimpered, feeling his cruel laughter rumble in his chest against your back. “No—no, you can’t be—”
“I was going to do something about that costume anyway, but having that mutual friend in common,” he mused, “I just can’t pass up the opportunity to leave Detective Tryon a personal message. Call it divine will.”
“I’m sorry,” you choked out.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You can tell God yourself how sorry you are,” he whispered.
“No—Father, please don’t—”
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kwamiwayzz · 3 days ago
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Jeckole Yapping
Had to dig through my old posts to find the template, but I'm bored and doing this again but for Jecka and Nicole this time. Mostly headcanons and such below
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• When or if I started shipping it:
I'm going to be honest, but I don't remember. I only got into Co09 a few months ago. All I know is that once I watched the out of context videos on Class of '09 and Re-Up, I wanted more content of them and came across a lot of really good fanart and fanfic.
I think there were a lot of boxes checked off when I slowly went down the rabbit hole lol. There's an emotionally constipated dark-girl paired with a preppy blonde girl who acts as the former's foil. I think what really drew me into them, fanart aside, were the foils and parallels between them. The codependency, expanded upon by Progman, was probably the final nail that dragged me down the brainrot.
• My thoughts:
I've known about them for awhile, and thought they were some random white girls in a cult classic VN that somehow regained a surge of popularity last year. I didn't know the VN was relatively new, and most of the time when I do ship Jeckole, it's without the creator in mind. They have a certain flavor to them that hits in a way where I can't stop brainrotting over them.
Someone mentioned this in a fic comment, but they see them as foils when it comes to dealing with people and the world around them--where Nicole acts as this snarling animal that will bite you if you get too close, while Jecka acts as this wall that doesn't allow things to get to her even if it does bother her. In a way, they envy each other for that, and after reading that fic it reinforced why their dynamic is one that I gravitate towards compared to the others. They have pieces of each other that they're missing and they can't live without the other (I love codependent Jeckole).
• What makes me sad about them:
In-game, they probably wouldn't last after high school when they go their separate ways. As much as Nicole sees Jecka as a slightly more "special" person to her than most people at the school, their friendship is more for convenience--with Nicole finding Jecka to be more tolerable and cool compared to everyone else (along with the added bonus of not being a loner), and Jecka finding Nicole more fun to hang around with than all her other school friends despite knowing how much Nicole is a fucked up mess and bad influence. In-game Nicole is also someone who would continue to keep everyone at an arm's length and also wouldn't fight too hard (outside of the Jecka and counselor smoking scene) to maintain any meaningful relationships once they're out of her reach.
But also, who cares what the creator thinks because fanart and fanfic exists lmaoooooo.
• What makes me happy about them:
There's a scene in Flip Side where Nicole calls Jecka first thing in the morning at 7am asking her where McDonald's keeps their frozen patties, only for Jecka to say they don't have them because McD serves breakfast during those hours. Then Jecka calls Nicole stupid, and I just found that scene funny in an oddly comforting way.
Nicole is comfortable enough to bug Jecka and wake her up so early in the morning for something so mundane, while Jecka just stays on the phone listening to whatever antics she's in instead of hanging up immediately and going back to bed. I also mentioned this in another post, but someone on Twitter said the thing they love most about Jeckole is how Nicole was willing to get to know Jecka even after saying she has no desire to make any connections at her new school. It can be interpreted as a convenience thing on Nicole's end, but every route in the original game has her willing to either ask for Jecka's name or share her name when they first meet.
To me, their back and forth dynamic keeps them balanced enough to stay fucked up with the potential of becoming well-adjusted in the future.
• Things done in art/fic that annoys me:
There's a number of interpretations when it comes to the Co09 characters, so I understand it can be hard to write them. But for me personally, I'm not a fan of when Nicole is depicted as either way too nice and uncharacteristically soft or way too mean and following the stereotypical SBN interpretation that "Nicole doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything".
• Things I look for in art/fic:
When they're codependent :) or when they're codependent with a slight chance of them getting healthier over time. Also, just them being stupid together.
I'm also one of the few people (I haven't come across too many others yet) that seek out future Jeckole stuff. Whenever I picture them as adults, it's always aurawra21's art in mind.
• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 
I'm a monoshipper when it comes to Class of '09, so probably no one. It adds to that codependent flavor :) but if you want a real answer...
For Nicole, probably Emily.
For Jecka, probably Emily also.
• My happily ever after for them:
Moving out of their town, healing from their trauma, and getting healthier over time. Maybe they won't be better people exactly, but they'd at least be less fucked up and a little happier (with Nicole finding some will to keep living past 30) after cutting off their toxic families.
• What is their favorite activity?: 
Nicole forcing Jecka to watch Mythbusters and How It's Made with her (in exchange for watching Smallville and Charmed with Jecka). Also, probably smoking together, assuming that Jecka hasn't quit her smoking habit ten years later.
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c0rpsedemon · 9 months ago
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the thing about the queer media tournament that really gets me is that last i checked there wasn't a single mxtx work on it. like not even the untamed made it in and don't get me wrong the og mo dao zu shi books are huge but cql is def more popular among tumblr circles. idk it just really rubs me the wrong way how every single piece of western media that ppl have ever gotten a lil bit aggressive abt shipping with is there and then for east asian media there's utena and madoka magica and the handmaiden and last i checked that was pretty much it. and then for the rest of the world there's next to/nothing but idk enough to really make judgements there.
#like. really? no mo dao zu shi? no scum villain's self saving system? no heaven's official blessing? no nana?#i can think of at least 10-20 pieces of media more deserving of being in there than some of the western works that got in off the top of my#head. yuri is my job (self explanatory). fate/stay night (most of the cast is bi but esp rin bc she says it out loud + saber trans coded).#fate/extra (red saber canon bi + nameless archer. stay night lancer. kirei and issei are all there). black butler (grelle trans. also#eric and alan from one of the musicals + alois from s2 of the accursed anime + nina and possibly mey rin are all gay)#toilet bound hanako kun (kou and mitsuba went canon). the evillious chronicles (michaela. clarith and bruno are gay. bohemo possibly trans.#gallerian possibly gay). requiem of the rose king (self explanatory). project sekai (mizuki trans. minori and rui possibly gay).#cocoon entwined (literally a yuri). fucking honkai impact 3rd (lesbians but i don't play it so idk who). any uc gundam series w char and#amuro but especially char's counterattack (char and amuro explicitly confirmed to be gay 4 each other by author + movie focuses on their#relationship). also mobile suit zeta gundam (char and amuro together + kamille is a boy's name!). turn a gundam (gay character).#iron blooded orphans (gay character). the witch from mercury (about a lesbian relationship). melty blood (ries and sion lesbians).#guilty gear (bridget (self explatory)). sailor moon (mainly uranus and neptune lesbians but also apparently there are a lot of gay#characters i didn't know abt in sailor moon). the illustrated guide to monster girls (yuri moment). dramatical murder (yaoige). slow damage#(yaoige). sweet pool (yaoige). ouran high school host club (haruhi gender stuff and also her dad's whole deal). cowboy bebop (ed gender#stuff). fullmetal alchemist (envy nonbinary). neon genesis evangelion (kaworu and shinji). like half the villainess isekai out there.#haruhi suzumiya series (the girl herself is openly bisexual). omniscient reader's viewpoint (danmei). fucking re:zero has a trans girl in i#for god's sake. we're well past 20 so i'm allowing myself more fate. fate/extra ccc (red saber again but also gil and caster and bb and-).#fate/hollow ataraxia (follows same cast as f/sn). today's menu for the emiya family (follows same cast as f/sn again. also the switch game#metatextually canonizes shirou's crush on lancer if the interesting descriptions from f/sn and the various bits from f/ha didn't convince#you). fate/apocrypha (rider of black + saber of red transfemme nonbinary and trans guy respectively. the former is also bi). fate/samurai#remnant (f/sr saber nonbinary. also gil is there and rogue archer is def implied to be bi in f/go). fate/zero (waver gay rider bi. saber gi#and kirei are all there and at their most bisexual). the case files/adventures of lord el melloi ii (waver spinoff (self explanatory)).#fate/strange fake (gil and waver are there. also false lancer nonbinary and jester trans). fate/grand order (has p much every character fro#the franchise and more. notably added trans anime girl leonardo da vinci). ok no more fate. since the tournament has a p liberal definition#of media i'm including vocasongs. magnet by minato ft miku and luka (lesbian song abt lesbians). erase or zero by hzedge ft len and kaito#(magnet for boys). himitsu ~kuro no chikai~ by hitoshizuku and yama ft len rin and miku (angel rin falls in love w miku. disguises herself#as a human man to be with her). i think i've made my point clear but add my initial list of the big famous ones (-nana) from the 1st tag.#romeo.txt
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walterdecourceys · 1 month ago
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i know it's like a joke that the question everyone asks in dc is "what do you do for work" since. everyone is there for work. but i'm also pretty sure that's a standard small talk question literally everywhere
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supersecretnerd · 5 months ago
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Ok so these designs are cute as hell, the Internet is just mean
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I have too many thoughts about a game I still need to watch
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#goodbye volcano high#i dont have the money to buy it but god i need to watch a playthrough when i have time it's so interesting to me#like; the theme of 'yeah we're going die but that doesn't mean we can enjoy what time we have left' sounds amazing to me love that#its so funny i was actually watching a review of it that was basically 'this game sucks and here's why'#and then it just started listing off shit like- 'the characters designs are pastel they're nonbinary you die no matter what'#and then my neurons just went off and went '👁️👁️ oh! sounds amazing i want to see more'#fuck yeah pastel nonbinary dinosaurs lets go#well i think its just fang thats nonbinary and then two other trans characters#i saw a cutscene! and it was about the experiences of being an apart of a family as sec-gen immigrant and trans-#and i thought that was cool as hell dont recall ever seeing that in any of thr arts ive seen before (but there's lots of art out there!)#heard it got some glitches tho (havent looked in depth of what those glitches are) hopefully it got patched out#also im so fucking pissed i saw the gator game before i saw this 😮‍💨 (context; apparently made by people who made a fangame where they#the mc of this game a datable side character and they only have a happy ending if they detransition? which fucking yikes😬)#i saw people say 'oh but they did it empathetically' like how the fuck is taking a canon nb character and making them only happy through#detransitioning empathetic that sounds super fucking shitty and gross#i think a character that detransitions can be done and would be interesting to see- but this just reeks of people being transphobic for real#oh also purple dino has a slug or worm or something apparently! seems cute! just a lil thing#apparently its a rhythm game; listened to some of the songs and it sounded good! sadly i suck at rhythm games#but apparently failing doesn't affect the story? kinda wish it would but honestly better for me lol-#pink one and fang end up dating i believe- from what i saw pink is like- soft spoken artist? dunno if accurate but she's cute#all the characters are cute just look at them!!! awesome#also they have to just continue school like normal before they die and honestly thats so real#also saw people dislike the fact you dont see the characters actual die or the meteor#which is ??? dunno i just think some things are better left implied than shown-#anyways man i keep trying to find neat stuff about the game and all i see is people bitchin about it or praising the shit fan on instead 😔#man if i had two nickles for a time i grew to become obsessed with a media only for loads of people to hate id have two nickles#first nickle is kat elliot she's such a cool character Internet wasn't ready for her#also yes i saw obsessed i can just tell this is something ill go bonkers for#i mean god look how much text is in my tags for this already! and i still need to see the game in it's fullness!#im sure there's other cool shit
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homosandhomies · 9 months ago
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i wouldn’t say i’m really into the warbler characters the way that other people are but i sincerely hope kurt stayed in touch with them
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mmmatchasims · 1 year ago
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Copperdale Preparatory High School 
1st day of the school year...
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medicinemane · 2 months ago
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At least I could disable the suggestions but just... I'm sick of it, I'm sick of companies trying to think for me
I'd rather be miserable but doing shit my own way than placid and glass eyed and just taking whatever companies tell me to
Like... literally just asking what I get out of writing a post on tumblr... zero suggestions, just letting me say whatever dumb stuff comes to my head
#the problem is that doing things my way is actually working well; it's just really slow and it's coming from a bad starting point#everything that makes me miserable was even more miserable growing up#you maybe see me and think that I'm doing really horribly; and that may be true; but I'm also truthfully at my peak right now#and frankly as much as I worry about it A LOT; I'm kinda still on the rise in a lot of ways#...I just take way too long to do things; I want to be quicker because a lot of this stuff isn't... it's not being slow and steady#it's being depressed and having trouble working on shit#but... when I do stuff my way the end result tends to be strong#I got a house in 2019 for instance... like in that economy; I feel like that counts as a pretty high roll outcome; you know?#the parts of my life I hate are all... it's like Marley in the Christmas Carol; I've got all these chains around me#and... about 80% of those chains are just my mom or my mom's choices... she blows through so much money all the time#it makes me want to die#but all that shit... it's the past haunting me and drowning me#but shit's better than it was and... I have more friends now that I did in the past; I'm closer to making money than I've been in the past#(part of it is that I kinda want to get shit stabilized in the household; be doing stuff like cooking before I try and sell shit)#(also understand that everyone in high school liked me... we just never saw each other outside of school)#(so it was a situation where I had 'friends'; by that standard everyone at school was a friend)#(but I didn't have a single person I was close with and I was totally isolated in a crowd)#(friend is just a word in english that has to cover a really really wide range of relationships)#(but these days I do have actual friends... just a shame none of us live in the same town... or even state; you know?)#(I like all the people I went to high school with; they all cared a lot and were very bad at it)#(couldn't figure out that like... just give me some company; that's a good 80% of what I'm lacking)#(...I think part of it was they were all stoners and I wasn't; so they felt like... eh... like something something)#(and when I say all stoners I mean... I think... easily 80% of the school; probably 90% and maybe higher were all stoners)#(it uh... was not an easy thing for the staff; cause they obviously all knew; but... figuring out how to best handle it)#(like hell; I wouldn't want to deal with that)#(also like 95% were smokers... you have to understand that most of these kids were rich kids)#(off the top of my head I can only think of 2 other kids who were poor... just... uh...)#(if I named the city the school was in; you'd probably be like 'oh... makes sense')#(I liked everyone there; everyone liked me... just... they were very bad at just basic stuff like spending time together)#(eh... you don't need to hear more)
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clownboy-yeehonk · 2 months ago
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#my brother went to the wedding of a girl that was mean to me in high school#also at the wedding was the guy that was my best friend all through middle school until we fell out#largely due to the fact that he had a massive crush on me on and off that i didnt reciprocate and he made it weird and got bitter about it#and he became really good friends with the mean girl and her friends like he ditched our whole group for them#and it turns out he was really gay the whole time which in hindsight checks out having a crush on middle school me#was as close as you could get to liking a boy without having to admit you were attracted to boys#there were a lot of below the knee shorts and sports bras and large t shirts and unflattering super cuts hair cuts#but yeah that whole series of events probably did something to my brain chemistry#in the grand scheme of things shit happens it was middle school and early high school drama but god at the time it was devastating#and i shouldnt care i didnt think i did but at the same time#fucking ouch?!?!#my brother did say he asked how i was doing and he talked about how im a good skiier and im a nicu nurse and everyone seemed impressed#so theres that#but a small bitter part of me kinda wanted to hear that their lives sucked#and yeah no one wants to or deserves to be remembered as their 16 year old self theres every possibility that shes a really nice person now#she could have grown and changed#and yet#i kinda hope she steps in dog poop next time she leaves the house
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thelegendofchocolate · 6 months ago
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After years and years of my mom trying to convince me, I think house is what’ll finally make become a doctor lol
#No context#My mom is like this is all it took#The medical malpractice show#And I’m like *shrug*#I had a phase where I was like virulently against the idea of being a doctor#But I think it was just because of my mom saying it so often and to other people too yk#She said it was a joke but idk So many people have such high hopes for me#like people unirnocaly#unprompted#say you’re gonna do big things#curse of a gifted kid#And it’s a lot of pressure so I had always toyed with a video games or creative career just to be like what if I want to be mediocre#what if I don’t want to change the world and I just want to be comfortable and happy what then#And with my mom; She had wanted to be a doctor but her parents didn’t support her#And then She fully went back to college pre pandemic to go to med school#She was almost done preparing for the MCAT and then the pandemic hit#It sucked so bad to see#And after that I was always annoyed cause I thought it was some sort of vicarious thing#Like I know I’m smart enough I definitely have the capacity to be a doctor#I honestly think it was just my mom being seripsuly open to another option that made me reconsider medicine lol#I was jonesing around with going into game design or some thing now creative#But with the tech bubble and ai the way it is I don’t think I’d feel very comfortable#Welll whayevwr I still have a lot of time#It’s just what major I’m cool enough with to apply to college as#I can change it later#But I need to be passionate enough about it to pull off getting into college lol#Well anyways#Rant over#hilson 4evah!
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thehardkandy · 7 months ago
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i think instead of saying things like "i always knew you were a [blank]" cis people should just start saying "hell yeah dawg" and go for a high five when talking about someone being trans for the first time
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guinevereslancelot · 7 months ago
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not my supervisor literally saying "my best friend is black" when defending herself from a racism accusation
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When I was in middle school I was very close friends with this girl but for a relatively brief period of time before we eventually just became friendly passing acquaintances, I guess mainly because she was one of the first people I met at a new school and I think her family was kind of in charge of orienting us...? Anyway they were perfectly nice normal people but they were pretty religious southern baptists as well, like she gave me a copy of the new testament once I'm sure because her mom had intuited we were godless and told her to, and one time she showed me that there actually was liquor in their house like it was their family's biggest darkest secret. So yeah she took me in her room once and swore me to secrecy and showed me how to sext with strangers on king.com aka the progenitor of candy crush before apps existed
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billowyy · 10 months ago
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#i had a training today about how civilians need to act in active attack situations#and a school shooting that happened here a few years ago got brought up#the entire time the cop that was leading the training was really respectful about everything except during this one part#she said that it took some cops 6 months to a year to be able to return to duty after what they saw that day#which i respect and all that bc that shit is traumatic at fuck#but she didn't say shit about the students having to return#like i'm pretty sure the students had a week or two before the school opened again but they had to go back so fast#to the place where it happened#and she basically just dismissed that#i'm sure she didn't do it on purpose but it really fucking bothered me and hours later it still is#and there were probably at least one or two people in the room who went to that school and were there on that day#that training was really hard#we had to watch a video of this teacher from sandy hook talking and jfc man#a lot of us were trying not to cry for a lot of it#shit's fucked but all of us in that room work with kids so it was really hitting hard for us#it's forced me to think about what my experience was on the day of that local school shooting which is always really difficult#i was in high school and my mom called me while i was walking to the bus stop#and told me that there was an active shooter at this high school about 30 mins away#so i went to school that day knowing there was an active shooter at another high school so close to mine#the entire day every time i heard a door slam or someone run down the hallway i was flinching#it didn't really sink in how close that was to me until i got to college and started meeting people who went to that school#today's not a good day and i'm glad it's almost over
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