#she tells me she chose him cause its easier and normal cause hes a boy and ok i get it. internalized homophobia. but COME ON

[wlw-mood]

Sorry ok follow up time. Story time!

WOWEOWOWOW WHAT A HELL IF A NIGHT LAST NUGJT HOLU SHIT

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Regardless of the bond [James Potter x Reader]

Title: Regardless of the bond Pairing: James Potter x Female!Reader Word count: 3.3k Published: 19 April 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Summary: [x] The existence of soulmates was hard for you to believe. You wished to be one of them, but after your 18th birthday, when you were supposed to experience a difference, you are left disappointed. Knowing you didn’t have that special bond and you had to continue watching the one you liked so deeply love someone else makes you want to just disappear. Bingo: [x] This is part of my Make me feel Bingo Card by @girl-next-door-writes

Square filled: Alternative Universe

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

Make me feel Bingo Masterlist

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Soulmates were a very widely known myth that many believed and wished to experience, but some found it to be a silly little idea created by those who romanticised the idea to be with someone for the rest of their lives. The thought of loving someone and being loved unconditionally was indeed one that many wished to have, but since soulmates were rather rare, people often ignored its existence and chose to find love themselves. According to the myths, some people experienced finding their soulmate with a simple touch, where for a mere second, they saw images of their future life together. For some it was a sensation, a pulling force telling them that they belonged together. There were some theories where they could recognise each other’s scent. Many different myths have been spread throughout the centuries, but there was one mutual theory in all of them. When it happens, you just know it, you feel it, every single fibre of your body screams for that certain person to stay in your life.

You were one of those who believed it but didn’t think it would ever happen to you. You hoped, of course you did, but you were more logical than to rely on an old myth. Having such a strong connection was a lovely idea, but it was hard to believe that it would be handed to you on a silver plate. All the fairy tales you have heard about from your parents said that the soulmate-bond would be activated after your 18th birthday if you had one. But of course, it’s been a month and you have felt no different than before, reassuring you that you weren’t any special.

You were seated in the Gryffindor common room, legs thrown over the arm of the sofa, hanging down on the side as you doodle little drawings on a piece of ripped parchment.

“What are you doing?” You heard a voice and as you looked up, you recognised Lily standing in the doorway.

“Just drawing,” you replied, turning back to your parchment, ignoring your friend.

“Good, good,” she nodded and took a seat beside you, staring at your doodles.

“Is there anything you want?” You asked, turning back to her with an expectant expression, brows running high.

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’ as she shook her head. You frowned at her rather strange behaviour, but once again turned back to your drawings, trying to ignore her staring. However, it seemed to be a task easier said than done. Feeling Lily’s breath on your neck and her eyes attached to your drawing, whilst squirming in her place chased all your creativity away. You folded up your paper and looked at your friend once again.

“You are being fairly annoying,” you stated with a grimace.

“I didn’t even do anything,” she huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest and turning to the opposite direction, giving you a side-glance every once in a while.

“Breathing down my neck and staring at me is quite creepy and as much as I love you, your behaviour is very unusual so spill it, what’s going on?” You asked firmly, causing Lily to scrunch her nose and pout in a child-like manner. She was a very smart witch and an even better friend, but at times she was capable of getting on your nerves with a simple look. “Come on, I don’t have all day to wait for you,” you rushed her as you stood up and tossed the folded parchment in the drawer of your desk and closed it with a thudding sound.

“I have overheard a little discussion between James and Sirius. They were talking about you,” she smirked playfully, wiggling her brows as though you were supposed to understand.

“I’m not sure what kind of reaction you are expecting of me,” you frowned in confusion.

“Well, certainly a happier one than the one I’m getting now,” she grimaced. “I have been hearing nothing else from you, but how much you’ve liked James since the first time you talked,” she tried to lead you to the right direction, but you still stood there cluelessly.

“So?” you asked.

“So? James and Sirius were talking about you,” Lily repeated slower as if you didn’t understand before.

“I heard you for the first time too, I’m not stupid. I simply don’t understand what you want from me. James and Sirius are my friends, they will inevitably talk about me if I come up in a subject,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“You are unbelievable. I overheard James telling Sirius that he has feelings for you,” Lily exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. But instead of excitement you gave her a deadpan expression. “Okay, I’m not sure what’s going on with you today, but I’m honestly starting to think you are broken or something,” she huffed.

“We both know that James has been running after you for years, Lils. Sure, we are close, I love him to bits, however, I am nothing but a friend to him. I’m not sure what you heard or what you misunderstood to be exact, but we both know James has liked you for years and I find it hard to believe that his last year will be the one where he changes his mind so abruptly,” you explained. Whilst a part of you wished to believe it was true, a more logical side made sure to crush those hopeful thoughts that tried to sway you.

“I’m sorry, but I’m quite sure of what I heard. And why couldn’t he? Crushes come and go, and he hasn’t asked me out or showed any interest in me for the last month or so. I do believe he has feelings for you, but you have been friends for so long, you can’t expect him to just walk up to you and confess,” Lily tried to pressure your logical side, but you couldn’t find it in you to agree. You have liked him for so long, you were numb to even the thought of him ever reciprocating your feelings.

“Ok, I accept that. Now that we have concluded this conversation, can we actually grab something to eat?” You asked whilst walking towards the door and opening it for Lily, waiting for her to follow you.

“You’re definitely broken,” she huffed, annoyed by your nonchalant behaviour.

“And you are rather annoying today. I’m glad we both have negative feelings towards each other. It will be a beautiful day,” you put on a fake smile, earning a grimace from Lily.

“You have been avoiding him recently,” she added with a side-glance, making you groan as you headed down the stairs to the common room.

“Can we stop talking about him for a second?” you asked, pleading with the girl.

“Fine, but I’m not giving up just yet,” shrugging, she hurried up her steps and walked out the common room, leaving you farther behind. Rolling your eyes, you heaved a heavy sigh and followed her to the Great hall.

As you sat at the Gryffindor table with Lily on your right, eating your usual morning toast, James took a seat on your other side whilst Sirius sat down beside Lily, followed by Remus and Peter across the table.

“We have a beautiful day today, don’t we?” James beamed, his unusually positive attitude making you frown. Everyone seemed to act unlike themselves and you certainly didn’t like the way they behaved.

“I guess,” you replied with a grimace. “Would have been better if Lily didn’t start my day by dancing on my nerves,” you groaned.

“I was simply stating facts,” she huffed.

“That could possibly be a definition of annoying too if we dig deeper,” you retorted.

“It’s not my fault you are hard-headed,” she rolled her eyes.

“It’s not my fault you are spreading false rumours,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“It’s not my fault you can’t see the forest from the tree,” she grimaced.

“Woah, woah, let’s just stop it there. We have quite an intense breakfast on our hands. What do you say we just continue eating quietly?” James asked, trying to stop your bickering.

“Been doing that until you arrived with your overly-positive attitude,” you replied as you bit into your toast.

“I’m sorry for having a nice day. Instead of being gloomy, you could try it too,” he raised a questioning brow, wearing a playful smirk across his face. In normal circumstances you would have returned his smile, feeling all warm inside, feeling your cheeks flush. He had a certain vibe that always made you feel happier even if you were down. But not in that moment. It just didn’t work.

“Will take your advice into consideration,” you huffed as you stood up from the table, finishing your breakfast. “See you later,” you nodded and headed towards the exit. You barely reached the first classroom across the corridor when you heard your name being called.

Turning around you, you saw James walking towards you in a haste. “Hmm?” You hummed in a questioning tone.

“You are acting strange recently. I can’t talk to you, I barely see you and honestly, I feel like you are avoiding me,” he stated, nervously rocking from one foot to the other. Indeed, you have been trying to keep a distance from the boy, knowing he fancied Lily whilst you liked him. Since your birthday you expected some kind of sign that would lead you to your soulmate, but it never happened. No images, no scents, no touches. The person you liked for so long had a crush on someone else and when you finally thought you might have a chance to find someone to connect with, you had to release you as one of many didn’t have a soulmate.

“Look, I just prefer being alone nowadays,” you lied. Imagining a pitiful look in his eyes, knowing why you have been avoiding him was something you never wanted to see. He was always supportive, and you could always rely on him, but this time you couldn’t possibly open up to him. You didn’t want his apologetic looks.

“Seven years. It’s been seven years since we first met and almost as long since we have become friends. I think I know you fairly well. Sure, people change, so did you and I, but we have changed together, for me you are still the same person I befriended. I don’t understand why you think that I would believe you. Wanting to be alone on occasions is fine, you have always done that, but you never closed me out completely until recently. I need to know what’s going on,” he pleaded, his words, his eyes, even his tone screaming for some kind of an explanation, but you couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“I’m sorry,” you simply apologised and started walking away. Giving him an explanation would have revealed your secret and you were not ready for that. Maybe once when your feelings were finally gone and you decide to sit down to talk about the old times, being nostalgic, maybe then you would have the courage, but not in that moment.

“Sorry is not enough,” he raised his voice as he hurried after you and grabbed your wrist. The feeling of his warm palm across your skin sent shivers down your spine. Your lips parted in surprise as you felt electricity run through the spot where he held onto you, starting off your heart in a quick pace. Feeling your cheeks heat up, you turned around and looked into his brown eyes as wide as yours, trying to figure out the unusual, sudden feeling. You felt your chest compress, air stuck in your lungs as you watched the man you had feelings for being just as shocked as you were. Knowing, hoping, believing what that certain electrical feeling running through you meant, it frightened you. You never wanted to be bonded with a man who loved someone else and the simple thought of you having to watch him run after his loved one made you feel as though your heart was shattering into the smallest of pieces, where picking them and trying to mend them wasn’t an option anymore.

Both of you stood stunned, his fingers firmly around your wrist, staring at each other, wordlessly trying to communicate. It was James who recovered first and let go of your arm, leaving it to fall beside you. You wanted to speak, you wanted him to speak, but none of you knew the right words to voice. In your shocked state you just wanted to disappear, you wanted to run away. The awkward silence was making you mad and frustrated, wanting nothing but to get as far from him as possible. So, you did. You hurried off, the sound of your heavy steps following you through the corridor. Hearing James’ pleading voice to stop you didn’t seem to work, you hurried your steps, not knowing where you were heading.

“Stop!” James appeared in front of you, stepping out of a hidden door you have not seen before.

“Leave me alone, James,” you pleaded, desperately needing some time alone.

“You felt it too. I know you did, so stop running away,” he stepped in your way as you tried to walk around him. He was determined to keep you there, to talk to you, to finally stop you from avoiding him.

“Why? I felt nothing. Just get away from me,” you raised your voice, even though you have never done it before, but it didn’t work. James wasn’t giving in.

“Enough,” he raised his voice this time, but it wasn’t threatening nor aggressive, he was firm and somewhat assertive. “You can avoid me if you like, you can ignore me if that makes you feel better but telling me that you didn’t feel anything when I touched you, lying to my face, that I will not take,” he exhaled slowly. “I know you felt it too and we both know what it meant. You are not stupid and nor am I. And if you feel like pretending that it didn’t happen,” he swallowed and heaved a heavy sigh,” we can do that, I will not force you. I’m only asking you not to run away from me,” he pleaded with you.

Feeling the tears collecting in your eyes, you tried to keep them in bay, not wanting James to see you so vulnerable. A heavy sigh left your lungs as you looked up at him, locking your eyes with him. “I— I don’t know how to handle this, James. You have been in love with Lily for so long, I don’t know how to react. I don’t want to be bonded to someone who already loves someone else,” you finally voiced your thoughts, finding it hard to resist the pleading look across his face.

“I never loved Lily,” he shook his head with a deep frown. “I was in a way infatuated with her, I liked the idea of liking her, but I didn’t love her. And I don’t feel that way anymore. I haven’t even tried getting closer to her in the last couple of months. If you were here, you could have seen it, but you decided to avoid me at all cost,” his tone, his demeanour, his firm stance radiated confidence and sincerity. Indeed, you haven’t seen much of him and you couldn’t judge what happened around your friend circle recently, but it was hard to believe that after all this time he just gave up on Lily.

“Look, whether you like her or not is not my business really and you don’t owe me any explanation. Maybe in the future you will like someone else, and I will be happy for you, but we have been friends for so long, I don’t want this stupid bond to stand in your way. So, let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, alright?” you tried to compromise, but James shook his head heavily in reply and stepped closer to you.

“How can you be so silly? You and this bond will always be standing in the way of me liking someone else, because regardless of that stupid bond, it is you that I like,” he confessed, his eyes a storm of emotions. He reached for your hand, cupping them in his, squeezing yours gently. “I like you. I really do. It has nothing to do with that bond,” he swallowed nervously. You tried to respond, say something, but instead you kept opening and closing your mouth as if you were a fish out of water, gaping, finding it hard to breath. It was hard to believe, but you couldn’t deny the tiny bit of flame you felt deep within you, hope that meant you still had a chance with him.

“But why?” you exclaimed in shock, not even realising your own words. James let out a mild chuckle, your words catching him off guard.

“Because you were always there for me, because you always knew what to say to me, how to hold me, how to deal with me. Because whenever I’m around you I’m both calm and nervous at the same time. Because you make me feel like a little child, wanting to smile whenever I see you. You are beautiful of course, but regardless I feel as though there’s this pulling force between us. I didn’t realise that I liked you until you were avoiding me. And it was not because of the bond, but because I realised that you were not there beside me and I missed the smallest of details that makes you—you. Scrunching your nose, pouting, grimacing at my silly ideas, scolding me for not studying. Every single little detail that makes you— you, was just missing from my life and it was killing me. I do like you more than you can imagine with or without that stupid bond,” he replied with a lopsided smile across his face, leaning his forehead against yours.

“But Lily—” you wanted to say, but he cut you off.

“There is no Lily. There’s only you and me. I just want you to maybe give me a chance to try if we work, if this— whatever is between us works,” he pleaded and instead of a reply, you stood on your tiptoes and attached your lips to his. He was hesitant, he didn’t know what was happening, but he didn’t let his chance slip out of his hands. He let go of your hands and cupped your face for better access, devouring your lips, losing himself in the moment where it was indeed only you and him.

“I like you. I like you so much,” you breathed against his lips, stunning him. His eyes widened at your words, clearly shocked by your sudden confession.

“But you have been avoiding me,” he exclaimed.

“I couldn’t be around you. I couldn’t watch you run after Lily anymore,” you shook your head, nervously biting your lip.

“I’m so sorry for putting you through that,” he hinted a small kiss on your forehead. “I promise I will make up for it if you give me a chance.”

“Wasn’t I clear enough?” you giggled softly as you placed your hands on his, holding your face. “There is nothing I want more than to give us a chance,” you smiled, reassuring him that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“Well, since we have already missed the beginning of the first class, we could start off by trying to regain the last month you have so rudely taken from me,” he raised a questioning brow, hoping you would agree.

“I guess we could skip a class after all,” you giggled softly.

“Or more than one,” he wiggled his brows as he captured your lips once again, impatiently waiting for all the memories you were to experience together.

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[evakuality]

Matteo - Episode three

Social Media - There’s so much of it this week!  At the time, I only followed a couple of accounts and then only saw the rest when it was posted to the tag.  I think I’m grateful for that.  This is absolutely overwhelming, the sheer volume of things the characters were putting out.  But it’s also really nice that we get all this normal teenage life stuff.  It really does allow an immersive ‘this is real people doing real stuff’ feeling to everything.  Particularly people like Kiki and Sam who have little to do with the plot.  It keeps them real and alive through a season where they were a bit more sidelined (and I love that Matteo and David’s little trip later on keeps them alive in a way that doesn’t overpower Amira’s season - this is a really clever way for the producers to keep fan favourites active without having to shoehorn them into places where they don’t belong).  I am also a bit concerned about some of this though - how on earth did the boys not get in trouble for filming the dancing girls and posting it to social media?  At most schools I know that would have resulted in some serious discipline action.  However, the most fascinating thing about the social media is the party at the end of the episode.  Sara didn’t start posting much on her stuff until much later in the evening (the reason this post is so late is because I was waiting to watch through all the social media before I worked with it - and there was so much for so long that I was able to notice the patterns in it in a way I didn’t at the time) and then Leonie took over and it was interesting what she chose to show and how non-perfect it all was compared to what Sara was trying to do before she got really incapacitated.  I know it’s not technically part of this episode but the text string between the two of them the next day where Sara panics over how Matteo might take seeing her in such a sloppy drunken state is very telling.  She really really wants to put on a show to make sure he’s not turned off by her not being ‘perfect’ - again, this is all very subtly done but there’s a really strong push to show how much of what is put onto social media isn’t a real and true depiction of who we really are.  And of course that’s most important for Matteo himself.  He’s still very actively putting on a front and it’s only partly to try to cover for the fact that he’s interested in boys not girls.  He’s really not happy or at ease with pretty much any aspect of himself, but he’s also not really willing to show it to anyone.  Except David.  Which we’ll see as we go through the clips.

Clip one - Matteo’s shelf in the fridge is so sad!  Someone (a parent maybe?) should really be making sure he has food and is looking after himself.  We touched a bit last episode on food and nurturing and what we see here is Matteo very much not nurturing himself.  Even more so than Sara, he has no care for his own wellbeing.  Also he’s relying heavily on other people (Hans in this case) to do the heavy lifting for him.  It’s also a major contrast to the playful, if disgusting, sandwich he made with David.  Here it’s really just about putting something in to his body and there’s no thought for anything other than basic survival.  Which is, tbh, a good metaphor for Matteo’s approach to his life at this time.  The chat with Mia again veers close to things that are difficult for Matteo - he’s wearing David’s beanie, trying to get that bit of closeness to him, but then Mia starts asking awkward questions about why the kitchen was so terrible and what Matteo was up to and it’s all a bit tough.  Matteo tries again to deflect and lie to cover his tracks.  Which... is he ever going to learn?  This lying is forever getting him in hot water when he’s caught out.  Jonas even calls him out on it, basically saying ‘if you’re going to use me as an excuse then give me a heads up first’ showing that he has Matteo’s back, but is incapable of helping him if he won’t help himself.  At this point, of course, Matteo has closed off because there’s a lot he finds too hard to talk about but Jonas is already giving those hints that he’d be there for Matteo if only Matteo would let him be.  But at least Mia’s pushing serves one purpose - Matteo makes contact with David again and they manage to connect and get over the little hitch that David’s ditching caused.  Both are still hiding bits of themselves from each other (David more so obviously), but both are quite happy to make these connections and are comfortable with each other.  That David responds is so nice; it sets up the dynamic so different to the original and Matteo is much more secure in David’s friendship than Isak was with Even at this point just because of this.  Then of course Matteo does the gay test, and it’s clear he already knows but he’s just sort of trying to work through some things.  It leads to some of the things he says later that are quite unfortunate (both to the boys about the dance teacher in this episode and to Hans later about the ways to be gay), but I think there’s a genuine desire to figure out what gay might look like rather than any truly homophobic stuff.  societal expectations and stereotypes and our own internal biases mess with us big time!!

Clip two - There’s not a lot of difference with the dancing girls clip, but it’s nice to see David again and the interactions between him and Matteo are a lot more natural than with Isak and Even.  I guess because these two are in the same year, it’s much easier to pass off knowing each other and so Matteo really is a lot more casual than Isak ever was.  The tone of the ‘why does he have to be so gay’ is different here too - Matteo’s much more low key and subdued when he’s called out on ‘why do we insult gays’ and he’s apologising fairly quickly.  It really is much more obvious that he’s trying to work out what ‘gay’ is than trying to distance himself from the idea of being gay.  He has a lot of issues and a lot of stuff to work through but it’s entrenched in an entirely different way to the og even though the words are almost exactly the same.  The power of acting and body language!!  Of course, this makes sense for both characters too - Isak and Matteo have different experiences and different lives and so they each act in a way that makes sense for them.  I’m super impressed that the same conversation can look so different - both actors are very very good.

Clip three - This scene with Matteo and Sara works much better for me than the one with Isak and Emma.  But perhaps that’s because Sara is allowed to be much more of a rounded character rather than a plot device.  We can say all we like (and Leonie is so clearly right there with us) that Sara needs to wake up and see how badly Matteo is treating her, but the way this is developing makes it clear why she thinks and acts the way she does and we can have a lot of sympathy for her even while rolling our eyes at how obviously this is not working out.  This right here is the moment where Matteo really should have said ‘yeah sorry, this isn’t working for me’ but he chooses not to because he still wants that security of having ‘someone’ if the thing with David turns out the way he expects it to (eg, David and Leonie being a thing).  He wants the ability to hide and say ‘see, there was nothing there, I have a girlfriend so I’m not at all upset that David has one too’ and it’s shitty behaviour and it’s totally unfair to Sara, but at this point Matteo can’t see beyond his own needs.  Sara is very clearly not happy with the situation and she rightly feels sidelined and unappreciated but she is still willing to accept his word when she puts those words into his mouth.  She’s still invested in this fantasy in her head and she is carefully scripting it so that it goes the way she wants it to.  Like last week when she was talking over Matteo to avoid hearing anything he’s saying, here she’s literally telling him what to say to get the outcome she wants.  Leonie has quite obviously got a better handle on the situation, but Sara doesn’t want to hear it.  Sara, again bless her, is very open about what she wants and needs from a relationship and how she’s feeling.  She refuses to take Matteo’s very half-hearted attempt at sweet talking her at face value and demands some accountability.  But it’s the very nature of those demands that sets her doom.  She tells him what she needs and he gives it to her - only it’s a very pale and weak imitation of what she would really like.  He uses her communication skills to play her.

Clip four - I loathe how no-one takes Matteo’s wants and needs into account, pretty much ever.  He’s in such a rut of being used to just going with the flow that even when he tries to assert his own wants people straight up ignore him.  It’s sad that he allows Kiki etc to basically commandeer his home for their party but it’s very much in keeping with how everything else is going.  Last week, Kiki was super irritated because she had a picture of how things were going to go (they would have their event and Matteo would host it) and she couldn’t deal with things not being under her control.  I suspect that if Sara hadn’t been with them and hadn’t done the speaking for Matteo, he would have been bullied into doing what she wanted then too.  He clearly doesn't want to do this , but at least he uses it as a way to get closer to David.  ‘Well, this party idea sucks, but maybe I can get this guy I like there’ and so he goes right up to him and invites him.  While he’s quite checked out of significant parts of his life, when Matteo really wants something he’s not scared of going after it.  Of course, as we see in later events, this gets him in trouble at times.  But for right now it’s nice to see him taking some small control of his life.  This is only possible, of course, because he was able to connect with David fairly quickly after he left last week.  The fact that they are able to do this is testament to how easily they do understand each other and even while its awkward, this relationship doesn’t have the underlying tensions that the one with Sara does.  It’s awkward in a positive way.

Clip five - there’s lots going on in this one.  The studying and how little interest and engagement Matteo has with it.  The consequent stalking of David on Sara’s account, the flow over into looking for David’s favourite movie, and of course Hans and his intrusion into Matteo’s quiet space again and then his attempt at using grindr.  It’s a slow, fairly quiet clip and yet Matteo ends up doing a lot in it.  It shows again, I think, just how much he values his time by himself and how much it works for him to be allowed to do things at his own pace.  I’ve said before I really enjoy seeing the characters in their own environments being chill and just hanging with themselves.  It shows us a lot of how they are.  In this case, Matteo moves very quickly from the boredom of the studying to things he has more interest in.  Like David.  He’s restless and disengaged, using all of his tricks to try to distract himself (playing with plants etc) and then very quickly giving up on what he should do.  I like that we get these sorts of smaller, lower key indications of how much David means to him as well.  It’s not big grandiose expressions of interest, but he watches the movie because David likes it.  He can’t even let himself stare at the picture for too long because it feels like a huge admission (he literally breaks eye contact with it and looks away the way he often does with David himself).  It’s in these unguarded moments in his own space that we really see Matteo and he’s a mess, but he’s a mess who really does want connection and to find meaning with someone.  

Clip six - We all love this one, right?  It’s such a nice moment with David and their almost-kissing is very intense.  But there’s a lot going on before that that I also want to look at.  First, the way the boys call Matteo a ‘player’?????? how???? That’s his girlfriend?????  He is playing her and stringing her along when he shouldn’t, but he’s not playing the field which is generally what we mean when we say this sort of thing.  He has one girl and that one girl has made it pretty clear that he is hers.  In many ways Matteo would be better off if he was playing the field - then there’s no expectations and he gets a rep as a ladies man.  But this works better for him - he can sort of fall into it and follow along with it without having to put any effort in at all.  She literally speaks for him, even.  I have always found it fascinating how much Matteo keeps to himself in this clip.  He hugs the walls like they’re his home and Sara is out there in the middle and there’s such a disconnect between the way they’re both acting.  How would Matteo have coped with the expectations Sara outlines about sex had she not got so blind drunk she had to be taken home?  It seems like it would have led to something very awkward and maybe she’d have finally got the picture.

Laura's little visit to see Matteo is cute too.  Obviously she knows that David is interested and so she checks him out.  It’s a shame it’s interrupted by Hans who then monopolises Matteo, but she was quite deliberate in finding him and speaking with him and I love the sibling support.  David’s shirt he chooses to appeal to Matteo is hilarious too.  The thought process (and the discussions with Laura at home beforehand) must have been brilliant.  ‘I always wear black and am mysterious and aloof and cool, but to attract this boy I will wear a white shirt with a stupid picture on it’ - that it does attract Matteo just shows how attuned David is to his future boyfriend.  Maybe he’s stalking the instagrams too - the Matteo Monday and Florenzi Friday do suggest that this is something that might appeal to Matteo.  

Hans and Andi bother me too.  In much the same way that I dislike that Sara assumes that Matteo not wanting sex with her means he’s gay (like?  It’s okay not to want sex!!  It doesn’t say anything about your sexuality), I don’t like that Hans has talked about Matteo to Andi and allows him to be so forward and aggressively sexual with someone who is very obviously not willing to be out.  I know Hans is trying to be there for Matteo and to encourage him to accept himself (I think it’s pretty clear that he knows or thinks Matteo likes guys).  But this is a party with all of Matteo’s friends.  What did they think would happen?  Why did they think he’d react in any way other than the one he does?  Hans looks confused when Matteo pushes away and leaves, but why?  This behaviour is entirely consistent with everything we know of his character. That it ends in an actual panic attack makes it all much more sad and difficult to watch.  Honestly, outing people when they’re not ready is not cool and Hans should know this.

The panic attack itself is so well done.  There’s no dialogue and yet we can see very obviously how Matteo is feeling and just how ‘normal’ this is to him.  He has a set of behaviours that he follows to try to take the edge off.  He throws things (this is his go-to when he’s stressed and he does it a LOT), he tries weed and he finally tries music and sitting by himself, cuddling a cushion for comfort.  I know a million people have discussed this at length, but I don’t think we can speak about this clip without at least touching on it.  Everything about it is done so well and it all combines to allow Matteo’s feelings to shine through.  I love that it’s allowed to happen at a party and that we see very clearly how these things can be overwhelming for characters.  I won’t go on anymore, but it’s just great and the acting is so perfect.  I genuinely think this small part of this clip is probably my favourite acting out of everything in this show.

And then of course we have the stuff after everyone else has left.  Again, a million people have discussed this in a million ways, but I love how this scene again shows how easily they get each other, how good they are at communicating with each other and how quickly they get on the same page.  Matteo has no trouble at all saying what he thinks and pressing for information.  This parallels Sara in some ways - she is like this with Matteo, making her wants and needs clear and putting herself on the line.  Again, this is all very good set up for later on when Matteo finally finds himself in her position and realises just how much his behaviour hurt her because he’s living her side.  However, unlike Matteo, David is quite clear and honest back.  And that’s why they can so quickly move into a potential kiss.  As with Matteo and Sara, there are close ups as they lean into each other, but somehow it feels like there’s more space for them to breathe here.  The camera allows them both to be in the frame naturally, whether Sara is often invading into Matteo’s shots.  Here, they’re both on board and both want it.  I like that Matteo gets a moment to be open and himself after his experience with Andi.  It must take a lot of courage to do this after he was so badly affected earlier.  Testament to David’s calming presence which reassures rather than pushes, and how honest they are with each other - there’s no way David could miss how relieved Matteo is when he finds out that Laura is David’s sister not his girlfriend.  They’re both very brave here - David for telling Matteo he looks good and Matteo for trying to take that next step even after his panic attack.   And I think that’s a nice place to leave this.  Because that’s already such a lot and this has all already been said before.  

[oohnoniall]

The Lantsov Emerald [Kaz Brekker x OC] - Chapter Four (Kaz)

Warnings: cursing, fantasy violence, family drama

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

        He hated to lose. Hated to be in anyone's pocket. When a plan failed it made him feel as though he was once more that scared child who had held onto his brother's hand. He felt weak. Weaker than anyone in the Barrel should feel. If anyone had found out about this detour in his plans, he would have already been marked. Kaz Brekker would have been a name that was not remembered despite the fact that he was quickly becoming the man to look out for. 

        Needless to say, he was in a foul mood.

        His hands were steady as he picked up the drink that had been Jesper's. He didn't bother to look at the other man; a boy really; as he drank it. The alcohol burned his throat, he could feel its trail burning all the way to his stomach. He needed that burn. Needed to feel something other than the rage in his heart. He knew that he would never get another chance to break into the Grand Palace and steal the Sun Summoner.

        Not that she would even be there. 

        He had not once thought that the girl would be stupid enough to run. He had never thought she'd leave the safety of the Grand Palace and General Kirigin. Anyone would have known that Fjerda and the Shu would be after her. How she thought she'd be safer on the run was beyond him.

        After the showing last night she was in more danger than ever. Kaz knew it would be harder to find her, harder to capture her. There was no telling where she would go or where she would be hiding. Not to mention they'd already ruined the one place they could go and get information. The Little Palace would have been the most opportune place to be for information. All of it would have gone to Kirigin. 

        They'd blown that cover though. The other guards had caught sight of them, the princess had spoken to him. A stableboy was very aware of Jesper and what he looked like. None of them would be able to go back.

        "What's our plan?" Inej stood at his shoulder, his constant wraith. He wondered briefly what life would be like if she wasn't at his side. He was certain that most of his plans would have gone up in smoke by that point.

        Just like the one they were running from.

        "I don't know," he said, his jaw clenching as he stared down at the empty glass in his gloved hand. He hated not knowing, hated to be on the outside. He never knew what to say or do. Never knew how to feel about the whole thing. It was like he was a child all over again, trapped with those bodies and staring into his brother's glazed-over eyes. Just the thought was enough to make him shudder.

        He suppressed the shudder. He didn't need any of the others to know that he was reflecting on things. Didn't need them knowing that he was afraid for once. Kaz Brekker was a man who was driven by fear. Fear of failure, fear of being unknown, fear of never getting his revenge on Pekka Rollins. Fear and revenge ran deep within him. He had a strong sense of what he needed, what he wanted.

        Kaz could care less about the money, about the power. All that mattered was making Pekka Rollins pay. He couldn't do that when he was failing at jobs hundreds of miles away from the Barrel.

        Inej seemed to understand that he was not in the mood to be messed with. She just stared at him. Her eyes were depthless and filled with everything she wanted to say. He couldn't look at her. Couldn't stand to look and see what she thought of him. He knew it would be the same thing he thought of himself. Worthless, pathetic. Couldn't steal a saint if he tried.

        Jesper, on the other hand, chose not to read the warning signs. "We could always stay here," he sounded almost cheerful at the prospect. "This place is nice. We could start a farm, live a quiet life." 

        Inej and Kaz both looked at him. 

        "Or perhaps not," he gripped the drink the bartender slid over to him as if guarding it against his two companions. "You'll think of something boss, you always do." Even in the worst of situations, Jesper was a beacon of light in a cold, dark world. Maybe that was the real reason Kaz kept him around. The man reminded him that things were not always as dire as they seemed. As long as they could breathe, they could stay alive. Kaz could think of a plan even when their backs were against the wall.

        His brow furrowed slightly, fingers tapping gently against the glass in his hand. Their backs were against the wall. The would-be-saint had run off. But there had been talk of another running with her. The gossips in the bar had mentioned a tracker. One that Kirigin had been using for a secret mission. That was something they could use. 

        This tracker had to be someone important to her. It had to be someone that they could use. Someone who could lead them just where they needed to be. But how did one track a tracker? How did they find the two?

        The docks. They would be escaping Ravka as soon as they possibly could. All they would have to do was wait at the docks. There would be a way across the Fold, one that the Sun Summoner and her tracker would use. The trio could wait for them there, they could become part of the background. It was what they had done for years in the Barrel.

        "Plotting face?" Jesper spoke softly from somewhere above him.

        "Plotting face," Inej agreed. Kaz could almost hear the smile in her voice. She thought too highly of him. She thought that he was kind, that he was better than he was One day he would prove that he was the monster that the Barrel had made him. But until then he would take this kindness and cultivate it. 

        He needed loyalty in his crew. Loyalty would at least keep them from deserting him in whatever weak moments he may have.

        "Shut up," he hissed at the two as he moved to stand. He gripped the crow's head of his cane, heading outside with purpose in his stride. Inej and Jesper scrambled to follow after him. He could tell they were amused by his actions. After all, it was not every day that he proved them both right within seconds. Normally, he went out of his way to keep people questioning him. He hated to prove people right or wrong. He lived to be an enigma of sorts. If too many people assumed that they understood him, he would never have any sort of mystery in his name.

        Upon his exit from the bar, he noticed something that brought an overwhelming sense of both dread and morbid excitement to him. A carriage sat in front of the bar.

        A carriage with General Kirigin's crest on the side. The sun in eclipse had never been more deadly nor more beautiful to him.

        He glanced once at Jesper before looking away again. Jesper seemed to understand. He slid one of the beautiful Zemeni revolvers from its holster before heading to the carriage. Jesper was the one who could go around it without arousing suspicion. The Darkling hadn't seen him except for the briefest of seconds in the dark of the night.

        Inej slipped away from him as well, heading up to the rooftops. The Wraith watched over him as though she were a guardian angel. Kaz Brekker knew that he did not deserve to be guarded by angels or Saints. He deserved demons, monsters. After all, he could rule over them with a smile and a smirk.

        While Jesper gathered intel from whoever may have been in the carriage, Kaz slipped away from the scene. Despite his leg, he found that he could travel at a quick pace when the need arose. He wanted to find the General. Wanted to know just what he knew about the whole thing. Even if he knew that could be a death sentence.

        Kaz was not afraid of death. He knew that his time would come sooner or later. He just had priorities before the Saints took him from the mortal plane. He needed to dethrone Rollins, needed to be better than every other boss in the Barrel. But most of all, he needed to prove himself to Jordie.

        Finding Kirigin did not take long. In fact, it did not take any effort whatsoever. It felt as though he had turned a corner and there he was. Kaz was almost frightened at how quickly he had shown up. Almost, but not quite.

        "You," his voice was a hiss. Kirigin was glaring at him, those eyes deep and dark enough that it reminded Kaz of the Fold. "You slimy little rat. Where is she? What've you done with her?" It took him a moment to realize that Kirigin meant Alina Starkov. The would-be-saint. 

        "She doesn't like being anyone's prisoner it would seem," Kaz stated as he leaned lazily against his cane. While he looked like the picture of contentment, his heart was pounding. He had learned long ago to not allow his anxieties to play on his face. It was easier when he looked as though he could care less about anything that was going on. That and it helped to piss people off. A pissed-off person was more likely to reveal their plans. Pride and anger got more people into trouble than anyone had ever cared to realize.

        Kirigin began to walk towards him. Long legs causing long strides. The darkness of his shadows seemed to build around him as though they were living. Kaz wanted to throw up at the sight. "Give her back to me or your friends will meet a very sticky end."

        Kaz's stare was bored although his palms were sweaty in his gloves. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and run as far as possible from this place. "I don't have the girl. I don't have friends. Threaten someone with something to lose next time." His gravelly voice came out rougher, the telltale sign of his lies. He hated that he still had a tell. He had worked for years to get rid of all of them.

        He did have something to lose. All he had built could come crumbling down if he wasn't careful. He'd already put up the club in order to bring Inej along. 

        Kirigin snarled at him, a curse rising on his lips. Kaz did not need to be warned twice. He knew danger when he saw it. While most would assume that he did not have a sense of self-preservation, mainly because of how intense most of his plans seemed to be, he had quite an intense one. He would not let anyone kill him. Not anytime soon. Kaz was supposed to be the one who brought destruction to those who were not expecting it. He was not supposed to be the one who managed to get caught in the crossfires.

        He flung his arm out, tossing down a flash bomb that his demolition man in Kerch had made him. He only had a few left, only to be used in case of emergency. The Darkling baring down at him? Yes, that counted as an emergency.

        Kaz fled the scene as quickly as he could while Kirigin was blinded. He found himself back in the square, Jesper stood grinning far too widely with a book in his hand. Inej looked worse for wear, a haunted look in her eye and anxious energy surrounding her. They had been caught unaware. Kaz could not help but to blame himself for it. He should have expected some sort of attack after last night. After all, they had been seen running from the palace around the time the Sun Summoner had gone missing. They had targets on their backs.

        "We need to leave, now," Inej twirled one of her knives as she spoke. Kaz nodded once before he motioned for the two to follow after him.

        "Why not steal a carriage?" Jesper spoke as they ran past stables, his breath coming in soft pants that Kaz found somewhat annoying. The whole question was annoying. The situation itself was enough to darken his normally foul mood.

        "It's what they expect of us after last night," Kaz stated as they slipped out of the town's gates. His chest burned, his leg ached, but none of it would make him slow. Not until they got somewhere they could hide long enough to figure out just what to do. 

        The three rushed into the forest, taking a moment to catch their breath once they were deep within the confines of the forest. Kaz knew that this was a stupid plan. He knew that they needed to be careful. With the Darkling at their back, they were in more trouble than he had originally believed. Yet, there was nothing they could do but try to find Alina. They had to figure out how to get her back and return to Kerch. They had to figure out if they even wanted to.

        Inej was beginning to break. He could tell by the look in her eye and the set of her square jaw. He wondered why she still believed in her Saints. They had clearly forsaken her. So why did she find it within herself to be so pious? Why did she want anything to do with them? With any of it?

        Questions he would never ask seemed to crowd his mind. He had trouble with that. He thought too much about too many things. It was normally a useful tool. He was able to see past things that most people didn't. He was able to find the smallest details and then exploit them. It had helped when he was rising in rank. It had helped him to capture the Barrel.

        "Where do we go now?" Jesper questioned, his chest heaving as he panted. His eyes were wild, glancing at everything at once and seeing nothing. Kaz knew that Jesper often had trouble sitting still. He knew the sharpshooter needed to feel something moving at all times, whatever it was matching the beat of his heart.

        "We continue to the docks. But we do so silently. We'll board whatever we can find to get us across the Fold. The Saint and her Tracker should make an appearance at some point," Kaz brushed the head of his cane off. Dust from his flash bomb still coated the surface. "We stick to the plan. We can outrun Kirigin and his Grisha as long as we keep our heads and avoid detection."

        He stared at the sharpshooter as he spoke. Out of the three of them, Jesper was the most likely to be caught. He had a way of drawing attention to himself. That was the one thing they did not need. Having all of Ravka's Second Army coming after them would only lead to losing the club. And possibly their lives. That strangely did not affect Kaz as much as it should have. He was at risk of losing his life every day he stayed at the top of the Dregs.

        "Okay," Inej breathed out through her nose, a sure sign that she wasn't happy. "So our entire plan is to wait it out?" 

        "Sometimes inaction can be the greatest action," Kaz stated as he began to walk away. They had to get moving before the sun went down. He didn't fancy being caught outdoors during winter in Ravka. Kerch got cold enough. Ravka, on the other hand, had nights that were below freezing in the depths of winter. Being turned into a frozen crow did not sound appealing to him.

        "I don't think now is one of those times," Jesper spoke as he and Inej followed after Kaz. "We'll freeze our assess off before we get there."

        "That would keep you from talking at least," Kaz grumbled as they trekked through the forest. He could feel Jesper's glare. Normally, he would have intimidated him or done something cruel in response. He did not have the energy. If his sharpshooter wanted to waste energy hating him, so be it. They would get out of this alive. They would keep the Crow Club. He wouldn't let them fail. Even if it meant alienating the only friends he'd ever had.

        Kaz didn't believe in friendship. It was a waste of time. He had people who were loyal to him. People he could hold at arm's length. They could betray him but they could never tell anyone his secrets. They'd only ever be able to reveal an idea of who Dirtyhands was. No one would ever know the truth behind the Bastard of the Barrel. It was safer that way. Lonely, but safer. Jordie should've been the same way. Maybe then Kaz wouldn't be so alone in this damned world.

        Thoughts of Jordie plagued him as they journeyed for three days. 

        It was three days of hell. Of breaking into random barns and sleeping on floors that smelled of shit and hay. It had been trekking through mud and snow, being near blinded by a blizzard, and foraging for food when they couldn't risk showing their faces in a town. Kaz had counted down the days till they had reached civilization. He had not been made for foraging and hiding in the dirt. The farm had never been what he had wanted. It never would be.

        Inej was the one who got them lodging. A vacant house nearer to the Fold than anywhere else. Its occupants had been devoured by the Volcra. Kaz didn't care about the ghosts. The house didn't smell of hay or animal excrement. It would do.

        There had been no talk of the Saint coming to town. No one had heard anything about a tracker either. The gossip in the tavern stayed focused on who was sleeping with who, who was with child, and who owed money to the crown. None of it mattered to him. None of these people were important enough to him. They weren't pigeons to swindle or those who would have any knowledge of the would-be-saint. All they were was normal, everyday people going about their shitty lives. Kaz couldn't hate them for not knowing anything and yet, he found them completely and utterly horrid. 

        The tavern the trio of crows found themselves in was as dank and depressing as every other tavern they'd seen. The lights flickered, the chairs creaked, and the glasses were more grime than glass. It was enough to make anyone's stomach turn. Yet, it was also the one place that reminded any of them of home. The Barrel was home if they liked it or not. Most of the time, it was something that everyone hated.

        Everyone wanted out of the Barrel. Yet very few ever made it out. Kaz knew he would never get out. His heart belonged there. All the torn, shredded, dirty pieces of it. There had never been anywhere else for him. There never would be.

        "Are you sure she'll show up here?" Inej questioned from her seat across from Kaz. She had a drink in her hands, although she stared into it as though it held every answer she'd ever searched for. He doubted she would actually drink it any time soon. Although, she had been known to surprise him.

        "If she doesn't come of her own accord," Kaz began, staring at the patrons of the bar as he spoke, "then Kirigin will bring her. She's his great victory. He's a narcissist, he'll be determined to show her off. To end the Fold and claim Ravka as his own."

        "Shouldn't we help her then?" 

        "No," he hadn't told her of the club. Hadn't told her what was at risk should they fail. No, he'd kept that to himself. It was his burden to bear. "She's the mark. She's not a damsel in distress."

        The tavern door opened, spilling fresh sunlight into the darkness. He nearly winced at the golden light. A woman slipped in, a cloak covering her head. He could see golden hair underneath it, strands falling down her shoulders despite whatever attempts had been made to pull it back. 

        The woman walked with an easy elegance, her feet barely touching the floor as she strode to the bar. He didn't hear what she ordered, didn't know what she said to the barkeep. He just saw the way the man sneered, the way her fingers twitched. Instead of reaching for a knife, as he had assumed she would, she tossed a coin onto the bar.

        Kaz knew he should look away from her but there was something there. Something that tugged at his brain. He recognized something about the woman. That alone could be dangerous. She may have been a Grisha in disguise. Someone who was looking for them as a favor to Kirigin.

        The woman turned once she got her drink, her eyes scanning the bar and landing on their table. The hood of her cloak concealed her face and yet, he could feel her gaze upon him. His spine stiffened as she made her way towards them. Her graceful walk almost looked like a dance. 

        A sinking feeling began in the pit of his stomach.

        "Mr. Vanzin," Anastasia Lantsov lowered her hood, a smile playing on her lips, "I've been looking for you."

[torikengel]

Thomas Hewitt x Reader (Part 4)

“I see you already gave breakfast to her.” Luda, Mae smiled. “Is everything alright, m’dear?” She asked with a cheerful tone in her voice. “Yeah, I am okay.” You answered with a forced smile. “Then I will leave you two alone if you need anything just lemme know, darling.” She stated and disappeared in the hallway. You looked back at Thomas and could see how hurt he was by your sudden behavior. Even though he and his family literally kidnapped you, you felt the urge to apologize, so you did. “I am sorry for startling you; I really didn’t mean to. It’s just that I remember yesterdays’ events only partially. I-I think I might’ve hit my head or something…” you stuttered nervously as you could feel his gaze on you. Honestly, you felt incredibly exposed even though you were fully clothed. He kept staring at you without saying a thing. Right, he was mute… so how are you supposed to communicate, you wondered. Well, he could at least answer with yes or no by nodding or shaking his head, you thought. “So… umm…” you mumbled, not knowing where to begin. “I really want to remember everything, so there won’t be any misunderstandings in the future, but please bear with me, you know that this… it’s tough for me.” You tried to explain how you felt the best way you could. He nodded, but then pointed at the plate with breakfast. “R-right, I should eat to gain some energy first… after that, can you help me recall exactly what happened yesterday?” you asked as you took a bite of the bread with a slice of cheese. Thomas just nodded again and sat on the floor, his eyes not looking away from you for a second. 

As you were chewing the dry bread, you realized that they must struggle to buy food, that’s why they are doing all this. You suddenly coughed as the urge to throw up made you choke on the food. Thomas panicked but tried to help you by slapping your back. He was so clumsy when it came to human contact, and he hit you a bit harder than he should have. But it helped you because you stopped coughing in no time, and your attempts to catch breath turned into giggles. You enjoyed this lighthearted and awkward moment in the middle of your miserable situation. Thomas just got more and more confused by everything you did. “I am sorry, I guess I am just trying to laugh at the fact that you eat human meat instead of crying.” You didn’t understand your need to apologize to him and admired your brain for coping with cannibalism in such a way. You were stoked that you could remember something, even though it wasn’t charming this time. After you finished your breakfast and put the plate on the nightstand, you turned to Thomas, who was still exploring your body with his eyes. You took a sip of water to clear your throat and gestured for him to sit next to you on the bed. He hesitantly did what you wanted. “So, I know this might be a bit tricky, but I want to know what happened to me. Please just nod when I say it correctly.” You pleaded and took his hands in yours. He immediately nodded but looked away in embarrassment as he felt your touch. Everything he felt yesterday came back to him.

You calmly started speaking from the very beginning, talking about how you went to Luda’s shop, then about the spike strips that caused the accident, and after that, how Hoyt shot your friends and took all of you to this house. Still, you didn’t know where it was or how the house looked from the outside because you were unconscious until you woke up in the basement. Thomas just nodded as you seemed to recall everything correctly. “Now, it might be difficult…” you said as you tried to remember what happened there. You looked at Thomas’s face and thought about his mask for a while… Chloe and Matt… right, he killed and butchered them, as he did to Emma. “You killed all of them?” you asked, and Thomas looked away while nodding. He was nervous, he didn’t want you to hate him. “I guessed your name…” you looked over to the nightstand, “… and you gave me water when I asked for it.” You exclaimed after seeing the glass of water next to the empty plate. It bothered you because you didn’t understand why he helped you, why were you still alive. “I sang for you, and then Hoyt came into the basement and…” you stammered, “Emma was there because he did stuff with her.” You stopped talking to gather your thoughts, and Thomas just kept nodding. “And then we ate dinner… human meat?” you didn’t remember what happened at the table because of Hoyt. “You took me upstairs; I mean here, and I went to sleep?” You looked at Thomas who was now lost in his own thoughts. He was hoping you’d remember the kiss, so now he was disappointed. But maybe it was for the better. He knew that one day you would have to go, one day he will have to kill you… right? There’s no way you would accept him like this; he was a freak, an animal just like everyone has told him, plus his family was far from normal too. You, on the other hand, were simply perfect. After all, if you had the opportunity to run away now, you would do it without question.

He didn’t realize you were getting closer to him this whole time. You were intrigued by this man, you didn’t know if it was the instinct to survive or the trauma you went through, but you felt like he was the only safe space you had right now. He never mistreated you; he helped you when you needed and did whatever you asked of him. And those eyes, you could stare into his eyes eternally. You felt a familiar tingling in your stomach that made you recall one more thing. “We kissed…” You wanted to think it was the fever, but you couldn’t deny it anymore. There was no logic behind it, only honest feelings. When Thomas realized how close you were, it was too late for him to react in any way as you cupped his cheeks with your hands and desperately kissed him with tears forming in your eyes. Thomas moaned quietly into the kiss as your hands traveled from his cheeks into his hair. Even when you were almost breathless, you didn’t stop hungrily kissing him. Thomas held you tightly around your waist and closed his eyes while he tried to keep up with you. This all was still very unknown to him. You finally parted lips gasping for air. “T-Tommy…” you whimpered, trying to hide your tears. You knew it wasn’t right, and you were beating yourself up for feeling this way, regretting your decision to ever go on this road trip.

Thomas’s heart was pounding so fast as it was about to explode. He was happy, yet hopelessly confused. Did he hurt you? What was he supposed to do? He remembered how you snuggled in his arms last night, so he hugged you and caressed your hair, trying to calm you. Your muffled cried were becoming even more desperate as gruesome flashbacks from yesterday appeared in your mind. He could’ve killed you the same way he killed your companions, yet he chose not to. He spared your life.  “T-thank you…” you sobbed into his shoulder as he kept holding you in his big, muscular arms. You were grateful that he let you live and even felt sorry for his situation to some extent. You could imagine that his life wasn’t easy, and you couldn’t bring yourself to hate or blame him.

But he was even more grateful than you because you were the one who actually saved him. In the moment of inevitable death, you showed him humanity and kindness. His whole life, everyone called him a monster, an animal, so he became one. You treated him like a human without prejudice or disgust, and by doing that, you managed to save that sad, pained boy deep inside him. You took him back to his childhood and his teen years when he didn’t resent every single human except his family. In those days, he still had hope that someday he would have a normal life. He had his dreams and achievements he wanted to accomplish. He lost all of those the day he snapped. After each kill, it became easier, especially as his victims fought back with more nasty words, and Hoyt just fueled his hatred. However, now, with you in his arms, he felt like he could take on the whole world. He still wasn’t sure about all this, and he didn’t trust you yet as everything he was taught telling him to kill you, but his heart warmed when you were next to him, so as long as you didn’t try to run away, it would be alright.

When you finally calmed down, you leaned your body against the wall while rubbing your eyes dry. You were embarrassed by being so vulnerable in front of your captor. Even though you just woke up, you were still exhausted, and intrusive thoughts about your situation bugged you to no end.

Then you looked at the man sitting in front of you… this man who you just spent such an intimate moment with. You knew him for one day, yet you felt a sense of familiarity when you were with him. You pushed away the reality of him being a killer and a cannibal at that and settled with a thought that if he didn’t kill and eat you, it was okay. “Thomas?” you raised your eyebrow playfully as you put your hand on his thigh. “Can I please take a shower? And… if it’s possible, get the suitcase from the van? I have some clothes there… Pretty please.” You decided to make the best of your situation, at least until you can escape… plus he wasn’t so bad after all. Thomas still couldn’t process your mood swings very well, but a smile made its way on his lips. That made your heart flutter as this was the first time you saw him smile… he was kind of cute… kind of. Thomas nodded and left the room when he realized that your hand was on his thigh. He still got startled easily when he got personal with you as he was very touch starved and only used to pain coming from encounters with other people. He made his mind up that he would try his best to fulfill your request, however, it wasn’t up to him. You looked after him as he disappeared from the room like he was a mirage never to be seen again, and your heart ached unexplainably.

The reality of your situation dawned on you again as you blankly stared into the hallway. He left you to yourself, and you really didn’t know what to do. “Is he going to do what I asked for?” you started quietly talking to yourself to make yourself less lonely. Am I going to be here every day like this, you wondered? It felt so weird, especially how physically close you got to your captor in one day. “It just felt right at that moment! Don’t beat yourself up over it like it’s your fault! It was probably a onetime thing as well…” you argued with yourself, but then decided to stop acting like a lunatic and stretched your sore body. Your leg was cuffed to the bed, but you could at least stand up. Then you just stared outside from the window, lost in your thoughts. You ignored the passage of time. Loud footsteps that gave you goosebumps echoed in the hallway and made you realize that you’ve been doing nothing for more than an hour. Thomas came into the room with your purse and suitcase, looking defeated. “Oh my god! You actually got my stuff. Thank you so much, Thomas!” you jumped up, ready to look through everything, but your clumsy self, tripped on the rope again and felt on the floor with a big thump. Thomas chuckled under his mask when you tried to stand up again. As you noticed his expression, your face became completely red. So, he’s having fun at your expense, huh? A thought came across your mind, and you fell back on your knees, covering your face with both hands as you started sobbing. Thomas’s smile disappeared, and he rushed over to help you. As he got close enough, you suddenly burst out laughing and grabbed his hand. “Got you!” Your prank irked Thomas, but when he saw your genuine smile, he melted. That was the first time in many years someone laughed together with him and not at him. “Sorry, but that’s what you get for looking at me embarrassing myself like that.” You smirked at him. Talk about being positive in a bad situation you thought for yourself when you looked at his bloody apron. “So, now that we got this out of the way, can you take me to the bathroom, please?” you stood up and looked at Thomas, attempting your best to look as cute as possible. He nodded and uncuffed your ankle. You contemplated if you should just run for it, but he was too used to this, so he grabbed your wrist, almost crushing it. “Ow, ow, ow.” You cried out in pain as his grip was tightening around the abrasion on your wrist. Startled, he completely let go of you and stepped back to the door so that you wouldn’t escape.  “That hurt,” you looked at your bruised wrists. “How about we take it slow?” you sighed, and Thomas grunted. You opened your suitcase and took out a black lace top, white shorts, and clean underwear. “Now,” you stepped closer to Thomas, who guarded the only exit with his big body. “Let’s try this.” You grabbed his hand and teased him, “Don’t let go if you don’t want me to run.” He rolled his eyes and led you to the bathroom, clearly confused about whether to be happy or mad. When he closed the bathroom door behind you, your body finally gave in. You exhaled and felt all your muscles loosen. For the first time in two days, you were free to an extent. The bathroom was far from clean, but you felt happy, finally having some privacy and time alone without being tied up. You stepped into the tub and let the brownish water run down on your hair and body. There was nothing but a bar of soap, so you just used that to clean yourself. When you were done, you dried yourself with what seemed like a clean towel and put on your clothes. You weren’t sure if you felt cleaner, but you definitely felt more like yourself now. You then looked around for anything useful, but then scrapped your silly idea and just opened the door.

Thomas looked you up and down, mesmerized by everything. However, he snapped back to reality and grabbed your hand, so you don’t try anything to escape. He led you back to the bedroom. When you sat on the bed, he kneeled to inspect your wrists and ankles. Maybe he could get his momma to look at your wounds for him? He then loosely cuffed your ankle again so that it wouldn’t deepen your wound, but not that you could slip out of it. He glared at you with a growl, trying to say: Don’t try anything stupid. “Thank you for your concern…” you shook your head a bit. How could he think you’d be able to escape when he had the key? He stood up, prepared to leave as he had work to do, but you stopped him. “Am I going to die anytime soon?” you bluntly asked him as you braced yourself for the worst outcome. He shook his head and looked you in the eyes. There is going to be a time when he would have to get rid of you… He knew it would be hard as he saw you as a human, not a piece of meat. “I am glad to hear that… because you know, despite everything, I want to keep living.” You teared up a bit at the thought of his cleaver next to your skull but quickly wiped your tears off.

Thomas rushed out of the room, closing the door behind him, leaving you confused and alone once again. He wasn’t prepared to face the reality of you being a victim and him being a captor. Him being the one who took your life, not literally, but still. He took away your freedom, family, friends… They won’t ever know what happened to their precious y/n. You made his mundane duty so difficult to carry out by acting the way you did. You didn’t even realize it, but by everything you’ve done so far, you completely changed Thomas’s life. He wasn’t sure if he liked it, because it made everything very hard. All he had to do up until this point was providing for his family without any hope for having a nice future for himself. He just did what had to be done and listened to Hoyt’s commands. Sometimes he thought about having a normal life, a normal face. Everything could’ve been different, and he felt so desperate about being unable to change it. That’s why when he saw that handsome soldier boy, he ended up taking his face… because that guy had everything Thomas could only dream of. He had given up on his dreams after the first kill; he knew he became the monster everyone wanted him to be. However, you made him think about his dreams again.

His thoughts dispersed as he heard Hoyt’s voice. “So, how’s yer bitch doin’?” he snickered. “Why are you even keepin’ her, it’s just ‘nother mouth to feed?” he kept blabbering. “Let him be Charlie, and he can keep ‘er until we run out of meat.” Luda Mae interrupted. “Okay, whatever you say, ma, but maybe I could show him some tricks, so he gets the best outta her.” He teased. Thomas was clearly uncomfortable, even though he was used to the sex talk and knew what it was as he grew up next to Hoyt. This time it wasn’t just a random girl. You had a name. He also realized that even if he tried to touch you in that way, you would probably finally curse him out and look at him with disgust. Hoyt often bragged about how amazing it felt and how Thomas should finally become a man.  Hoyt even offered to show him how it’s done with some victims. Of course, he would love to try it someday, but only with someone who would like touching Thomas, and he was convinced there was no one like that in this world. He didn’t like the faces and sounds the girls were making when Hoyt did it with them. For him, it just tainted the fantasy.

a/n: I swear this was so hard to write, but I am trying my best <3 Thomas is so precious, I just wanna kick everyone who bullied him... and I want you to show him all the love in the world too, but you are still a victim of kidnapping... we are steadily getting there though. Any comments would be highly appreciated.

[thiswasinevitableid]

for the meet ugly prompts, 38 indruck nsfw ;)

Here you go!

38: I overhear you ordering your coffee in a coffee shop and I’m trying to place your voice when I realize that you’re the phone sex operator I’ve been calling on and off for the last few months but the realization startles me so much that I accidentally spill my drink on you and you’re pissed

Indrid thought he was having a normal day. He’s treating himself to a post work iced vanilla mocha, then he’ll go home, watch T.V and draw, maybe jerk off, then go to bed and get up in time for his eight a.m appointment tomorrow.

He’s messing around on his phone when the person placing their order catches his ear. There’s something in the drawl, polite and friendly, that feels weirdly familiar. It’s not a regular at the shop, and a glance at the mans face offers no useful information; he’s a complete stranger.

The barista asks something about the second drink, and the man replies, “as sweet as can be, please.”

“Ahnngod, please, please, please say I can cum?” Indrid’s been edging himself with the fleshlight so long his wrist is sore.

“Hmmm” the voice on the phone takes his sweet time answering, “dunno, not sure I punished you enough for teasin me in the bar.”

Indrid whimpers, hoping the neighbors can’t hear (even if he’d like them too, they haven’t consented to it).

This is how his calls to the 1-800-Hot-Guys line have gone ever since his first time. He asks for “Ryan,” gets a sweet, southern greeting before the other man asks what he’s in the mood for tonight. See, Indrid’s only recently begun exploring his interest in men, and is discovering that a better sense of his sexuality makes it much easier to get in touch with his other desires. Like being fucked in a bathroom stall where lots of people can hear what’s happening to him.

Ryan always takes the ideas generated by Indrid’s desire-addled brain and runs with them. Tonight, virginal Indrid Cold went to a leather bar and found a bear waiting for him (he suspects Ryan might be one in the real world, because when Indrid first revealed that preference his moans sounded a touch more genuine). The bear made him blow him in front of everyone to make sure he was worth taking home, then told him not to cum until he was done fucking him.

“Please?”

A chuckle, “Okay darlin, you can cum.”

Indrid’s certain he hurts Ryan's ear with the noise he makes as he spurts into the toy, but all the other man says is , “Good boy.”

After a moment, he adds, “aw fuck, meant to bring some spankin or somethin into the scene because I know you like it.”

“That’s, that’s quite alright. I’m not sure you could ever disappoint me.”

“Thanks, sugar.”

Indrid whines, hoping it sounds horny and not like the noise a man who���s just realized he’ll be sleeping alone makes.

“You like when I call you that? Because it’s true; you’re as sweet as can be”

As he’s been having its slow-motion realization, Indrid’s body has been going on autopilot, picking up his cup when the young woman behind the counter calls his name. Which means that--when Indrid startles at his revelation-- the cup is in perfect position to send its contents flying straight onto the man who caused it.

“AHfuck, jesus man be careful!”

“I, I’m so sorry, here, let me-” he slips in the puddle of coffee and hits the floor, kicking the other man in the shin on his way down.

“Owfuck, fuck, okay, don’t fuckin try to help again.” The man snaps.

“Nono, right, I’m sorry, goodbye” he scrambles up, sticky with shame and vanilla syrup, and hurries out of the shop.

--------------------------

Duck keeps an eye on his burner phone while playing Plants vs Bom-Boms on his real one. It’s shaping up to be another night with only two calls.

He took up the phone sex thing during the last government shutdown; the park had to furlough them, and he needed money. The extra cash was nice enough that he kept at it even after work started back up. He isn’t the most in-demand operator; he can’t lie, laughs a little too easily, so lots of callers don’t come to him a second time.

One of the few who does is Indrid. He’s Duck’s favorite because their fantasies align well enough that he actually jerks off while on the phone with him. But the guy hasn’t called in two weeks; this is a bummer, in part, because Duck came up with a scenario involving a pool table and a biker gang he thinks Indrid would really be into.

More than that, he’s worried about him.

He worries about him so much that even a half a day later he’s wondering if he should figure out how to have someone check on him. The coffee shop is conducive to thinking. Right up until the dipshit who spilled coffee on him a few weeks back plops down in the seat across from him.

“You here to ruin another shirt?”

The man, all silver hair and angular features, shakes his head, “Nono, I, I really am very sorry about that. I came to offer to buy you another.”

Duck points at his cup.

“Some other time?”

“You come here often?’

“Since I moved to the city, yes. I was out in the suburbs up until a few months ago.”

“Fine. Next time we see each other, you owe me a drink.”

He nods, nearly sliding his red glasses off his nose in his eagerness. Then he taps on the table, “There’s, ah, something else you should know. We already know each other. In a way.”

Duck frowns; he’s never seen this guy before, he’d remember his face.

“We talk on the phone. Often.”

Oh fuck.

“My name is, ah, it’s, it’s Indrid.”

“Jesus, glad you’re ok--hold the fuck on. How the fuck do you know who I am?”

“I recognized your voice the last time we were both here. I, I wanted to get to know you more but I felt it was only right to do so if you knew I knew who you were so you wouldn’t be uncomfortable, but you clearly are, I’m so sorry” he stands up, banging his knee in the process, “I promise I won’t call any more, I didn’t mean to be creepy, I’m sorry, goodbye.”

He’s out the door in a flash of long limbs before Duck has a chance to respond.

Duck sighs, downs the rest of his coffee, and decides not to dwell on the fact he’s going to miss Indrid’s calls.

--------------------------------------------------

Indrid’s excited. He really is.

It’s just that the sex club is even more overstimulating than he anticipated.

It was alright at first; when he replied that yes, this was his first time, the guy working the counter ushered him over to a set of blue velvet seats and told him to wait. Soon, Indrid and ten others were being given a rundown of the rules, risks, and etiquette of the space, their understanding of which they signed in a neatly typed contract.

Then they turned them loose into three stories of sexual exploration and Indrid froze, totally unable to process it all. Lucky for him Lucy, there with her girlfriend Willow, helped him navigate the edge of the first floor until they came to one of the “chill out” rooms; rooms for people for whom the club was as much a place to chat with friends as it was a place to get spanked or suspended. They even have juice.

After three separate people check to be sure he’s alright, he asks the trio on a nearby couch where he should go to if he’s interested in bondage and impact play. They all agree the second floor is his best bet, and that there’s a shibari demonstration starting soon.

To reach the demo room, Indrid passes though a portion of the space that reminds him of a hotel. The nice dominatrix explained the rules for their use as: doors and windows closed, leave us alone. Curtains open but door shut? You’re free to watch, but don’t come in. And if the door is open, you’re welcome to join whatever is happening. He pauses at some open windows, but nothing really catches his attention.

The demo room is already packed, so he stays at the back. A perk of being tall is he can see the couple on the little platform easily without blocking anyone else’s view. The dom is explaining why she chose the rope she did and what ties she’s going to show everyone. Indrid listens, but his eyes wander in hopes of finding someone checking him out.

Someone is. But Indrid isn’t sure it’s a good thing.

Duck stands a few bodies to his left, looking him up and down with a slight smile. Well, at least that means he doesn’t think he’s stalking him or something.

The other man meets his eyes, tips his head towards the nearby green room and raises an eyebrow. Indrid nods, picks his way through the crowd to find Duck has beaten him there.

“Y’know, if you’d told me you were into this scene, I coulda worked with that.” He polishes off his water and tosses the cup in the trash.

“I...this is my first time. Is, ah, is it yours?”

“Nah. Came some when I was younger, decided to come out tonight because I was bored and itchin’ to get someone cute in my lap.” The casual way he says it is a hundred times hotter than the practice voice he used on the phone.

“Ah. In, ah, in that case, would you mind if I asked you a question?”

“Shoot.” Duck leans against the wall, grinning.

“Am I dressed alright for this?” He gestures to his pink and yellow tank top and black jeans.

He watches Duck catch his laugh before it starts, which he appreciates.

“You’re dressed just fine, Indrid. I mean, just look at me.”

“I am” Indrid is having such a difficult time tearing his eyes from the way Duck’s white t-shirt fits his chest or how the bluejeans show off his ass. Duck catches him mid-ogle, which is all it takes to drop his gaze to the floor.

“C’mon, sit down with me a sec.” Duck settles on a grey couch, leaving Indrid space to join him, “feel like you and I got off on the wrong foot. You know I ain’t angry with you for tellin me you were a customer, right?”

Indrid shakes his head but sits down all the same.

“Indrid, you startled the hell outta me when you admitted that. For a second, I was sure you were gonna try to get somethin outta me by threatenin to tell my boss at my regular job. But then it was so fuckin clear all you were tryin to do was be straight with me and try to be polite about the drink thing, I wasn’t mad at all. You just up and bolted before I could say as much.”

“Ah. Yes. I, ah, I can be a bit of a walking disaster so I try to get out of situations before I make them even worse.”

Duck touches his hand, “I get bein’ spooked. Happens to everyone. But, uh, guess what I’m also gettin at is, uh, if you wanna actually get to know each other, I ain’t gonna complain.”

“I’d like that.”

“Okay” Duck scoots closer, “let’s start easy; what do you do when you ain’t callin me?”

Indrid tells him about the tattoo shop, which leads to them comparing ink, which in turn leads to Duck getting on a ten minute digression about native plants. They’re debating the best Cramps album (Duck votes for “Date With Elvis,” Indrid for “Off the Bone”) when they decide to stretch their legs, Duck holding Indrid’s hand as he weaves them through rooms and clumps of people.

They end up doing laps of the second floor, people watching, during which Duck nudges Indrid playfully, “Knew you were kiddin me with the never been fucked stuff.”

“Ah, well…”

“Holy fuck, you’ve never had sex and you picked here as the place to try? You got guts, sugar.”

Indrid blushes, “Well, yes and no. I’ve never had sex with another guy, but I feel confident in what kinds of things I want to try. You helped a lot with that; you made me feel safe enough to express and explore my more intense desires.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“I came here out of curiosity, and because I thought my chances were good of finding someone who shared my interests without running the gamut of dating.”

“So all that stuff about bein watched, bein roughed up and used, you, uh, you really like it?”

“Indeed. Do you like it too? I, ah, I assume you pretend to like everything when you work on a sex line.”

“You’re supposed to yeah. But I’ll let you in on a little secret” Duck leans close, whispers in his ear, “I never was much good at pretendin.”

“Oh. Oh my.” He leans against Duck, excitement making his legs unreliable.

“You want me to show you just how much I like it?”

“Please.”

Duck kisses his cheek, “Missed hearin you beg, sugar. C’mon.” He pulls Indrid two doors down to a room dedicated to impact play. People are sprawled and tied to crosses, benches, chairs, all of which look exciting. Duck doesn’t stop to consider them, doesn’t even hesitate on their trip. He stops at a table, one bolted to the floor, and digs through a nearby basket.

“Here it is” he pulls out a red blanket, holds it out for Indrid to test the texture.

“It’s lovely.”

“Good” Duck spreads it on the table, “you’ll be comfier this way. How naked do you wanna be?”

“Is just my underwear alright?”

Duck points to the completely nude person being spanked on his right and the fully clothed one being hit with a crop to his left.

“I meant with you.”

Duck sets his hands on Indrid’s hips, “as long as I get to see this cute ass in the air for me, I’ll be just fine.”

Indrid quickly strips to his boxer briefs, opts to leave them on for now. Duck licks his lips, pats the table. Indrid bends over it, feet planted on the floor.

“Gonna use just my hand tonight. Easier for me to feel how hard I’m hittin, and I wanna be able to grope you while I turn your ass red.”

He moans, tenses as Duck rubs soothing circles on his ass. The first few slaps are mild, Duck checking on him after each one. Then one comes, hard and sharp, and he gasps, hips momentarily twitching away from Duck.

“Still good?”

“So very good, more, pleaseAHgod” He clings to the far end of the table as Duck brings ten slaps down on each side before giving him a rest.

“Let’s see...how many times would you say you called me?”

“At, at least fifteen.”

“Fifteen times two, add a few extra for ghostin me…” Duck pets his lower back, “You’re gonna get forty on each side as punishment for not lettin me see you cum all those times you called. Think you can handle that?”

Indrid nods.

“Count.”

“AHone, two, th-three, Aaaah,god, fourfive…”

Indrid loses himself somewhere around “ten” on the second side; all his focus is on being good, on counting out each strike, on taking whatever Duck wants to give him. His heartbeat is loud in his ears and his skin stings from ass to thigh. Dimly, he hears spectators complimenting Duck on having such a well-trained sub.

“He is, ain’t he?” Duck lands the final blow with a grunt, keeps his hand there and squeezes. Indrid whimpers, the pain going straight to his already aching dick. Duck shifts his stance, still mercilessly groping the bruise but pressing his fly against the cleft of Indrid’s ass, making it abundantly clear Indrid isn’t alone in his arousal, “he fuckin knows who he belongs too.”

Indrid moans, tears pricking his eyes; Duck is wonderful, Duck is handsome, Duck is perfect, and Duck is claiming him instead of someone twice as attractive or experienced.

“I know, sugar, you like it when people see how good you are for me.” Duck crouches down, petting Indrid’s hair as he studies his face, “you wanna regroup and finish this at home? Or do you need me now?”

“Now?” Indrid raises his head hopefully. His voice is odd in his throat, vulnerable but not afraid in the slightest. Duck nods, helps him up, thanks the person who offers to clean-up the station since Indrid, “looks like he’ll hit the ground if you let go” and grabs Indrid’s clothes.

“No point in putting these back on. Not with what I’m gonna do to you.”

They find an unoccupied, cleaned room, Indrid flopping on the bed as Duck closes the door.

“You wanna prep yourself or do you want me to?”

“I, I can do it. And could we, ah, leave the curtains closed for this bit?”

“Course.” Duck draws the red fabric tight as Indrid fishes complimentary condoms and lube from the bowl on the table. He’s so wound up he starts with two, the stretch uncomfortable for a few instants before he gets himself to relax.

“You look so fuckin good doin that.” Duck is undressing, only taking his eyes off Indrid when his belt buckle resists him.

“I’ve had a lot of practice fingering myself while listening to you. I, I’d picture whatever person you told me to but I, none of it compares to you.”

Duck blushes as he pulls his pants off.

“I mean it. You, you’re so handsome I” he tenses, pushing the third finger in and fucking himself fast, “I can’t believe it. I,I want to be so good for you, Duck, please,” he’s babbling, decides to quit while he’s ahead, “is three enough?”

“You tell me.” Duck gestures to his dick with a flourish; it’s average length, he thinks, but combined with the dark hair on Duck’s belly and the strong curve of his thighs, it is the most glorious dick in all of creation.

“Yes, yesyes, please come over here now oh, wait, the curtains please?”

Duck whisks them open on his way to the bed, settles with his back against the wall before rolling the condom on with ease. He points to his lap, “You wanna face me?”

“Yes. I...I like the idea of people watching but I don’t think I can handle seeing their scrutiny just yet.” He straddles Duck, let’s the shorter grope his sore ass before guiding it down.

“You sure you wanna do this now?” Duck murmurs into his chest, “you don’t owe me your first time with a fella.”

Indrid kisses his forehead and sinks down in reply.

‘Fuck!” Duck grips his hips, laughs, “that’s a hell of an answer, sugar.”

“Nngh” Indrid’s whole brain goes offline at the feeling of Duck inside him.

“Dick drunk already?” Duck teases.

“YesAHGOD, god, ohmygoodness.” He clings to Duck’s shoulders as the other man fucks up into him with abandon.

“That’s just fine, ‘Drid. Got enough brains for the two of us; all you gotta do is be my cute, fucked-out toy.”

“Nffph” Indrid hides his face in Duck’s neck. His legs and ass, still sore from earlier, are reluctant to obey his mind, so all he can do is let Duck bounce him on his cock or hold him down on it to thrust up in short, demanding jerks of his body.

“We got an audience.”

Indrid tries to moan. It comes out a whimper.

“You want me to tell you what they’re doin?”

“Mmhhmm”

“Two of ‘em are makin out with one eye on you. The other three…” he nibbles Indrid’s ear, “they’re jerkin off to us. Don’t blame ‘em, you look so fuckin good on my dick they all wish they were me.”

“Duck” his cock keeps rubbing on Duck’s belly, threatening to spill before he’s ready.

“One of ‘em asks how you feel on my dick. You want me to tell him?”

“Please.”

“Fuckin’ great!” Duck yells, “it’s his first time and he’s” Duck grunts, bucks his hips, “so fuckin tight but takes it like a fucking champ. Gettin in this ass is a fuckin privilege.”

Indrid smiles into his skin at the pride in Duck’s voice and the responding whoops from outside.

“Fuck” Duck kisses his cheek, “fuck, shoulda grabbed a cock ring, I’m gonna cum way too fuckin fast.”

“Me, me too.”

“Just like a fuckin virgin.” Duck quickens their pace.

“I’m not a--Aaaahn” the noise cuts off as he cums between them, cock pulsing onto Duck’s skin.

“Fuck, fuck that’s hot, fuck, c’mon sugar, lemme cum, lemme cum right in this fuckin perfect assfuck, fuck, ‘Drid.” He holds Indrid down, groaning as he pumps his hips. Then he tips them forward, crashing their mouths together and pressing Indrid into the bed.

When they surface for air, the spectators are gone. Duck pulls out, cleans them both up as Indrid tries to remember how words work.

“So good.” Is what comes out.

“Glad you think so.” Duck gathers him into a hug, “you want me to do all the aftercare here?”

Indrid blinks, “what’s the other option?”

“We could, uh, go back to my place?”

“That...I’d like that. Wait.” Indrid cocks his head, “do you...would it really be okay if I stayed the night?”

“Yep. Kinda hopin you’d stay over plenty in the future.”

“You want to date me?’

“Damn right” Duck kisses him, “besides you, still owe me a drink.”

Indrid kisses back, grinning, “So I do.”

[ineffablygoodomensakazion]

Reverse Omens Chapter 3

Summary: Noah’s Ark part 2

~~~~~

By the time the angel comes back, he'd been unable to find the room she'd wanted already in the Ark. Not that shocking, since Noah and his family would have needed to use every room they had built. So he had to use a demonic miracle to make it.

It had already began to rain a while ago, and the water levels were starting to rise higher than they normally would as a result.

After he made the room, he decides to wait for the angel on the deck of the Ark. By the time she makes it back, the rain is beating down on everything, making it hard for him to see. Because of that, he had barely even noticed how she was holding a small child in her arms until she was practically right in front of him.

"Like I said. Going against orders. Did you find a room?" She asks, setting the child down, along with a bag that she had filled with something. The child was a small girl, not much older than a toddler, with a toy bunny clutched in her arms.

Azraephel can only nod out of shock, even though he knows that he shouldn’t have been surprised that thisis how she chooses to go against the orders Heaven had given her. She’sneverliked it when anything bad happens to children.

"Good! Think you can take her there? I'm gonna go see if I can find more before it's too late!" She says, flying off before he even has a chance to respond.

"Not like I have much of a choice." He mutters, before making what he hopes is a friendly look on his face and offering his hand to the girl.

Despite what he'd muttered, he is well aware that he would have helped her with this no matter what. Like her, he doesn’t like it when bad things happen to children either. However, there’s a part of him that wonders if he would have still helped her with this if their roles were reversed. If she was the one that had become a demon, and he was the one that had stayed an angel. He fears that he might not have, that he would have been too scared of how Gabriel and the other Archangels would react if they ever find out.

He leads the girl, bag in his hand, to the room before quickly making his way back to the deck, only to find that this time there was a young teen, probably no older than fourteen or fifteen, holding onto a bundle in his arms.

"He's my brother." The teen explains, once they're in the room. The bundle the teen is holding was a baby, wrapped up in a blanket.

"Alright. Feel free to lay him in the corner over there if you'd like." Azraephel says, pointing to a pile of cloth in the corner that definitely hadn’t been there before.

He goes back and forth between the deck and the room a couple more times, leading whatever kids the angel had managed to find in the rain to the safety of the room, before he sees the angel again. Her white and gold wings are starting to droop with exhaustion, and her long hair, which had previously been neat and pulled out of her face in braids, seem as if it’s starting to become a matted mess, and its normal almost fire red had been dulled from getting wet. The water level had long since gotten high enough for the Ark to start lifting off the ground, meaning that it’s now less and less likely she’ll find another living being with each time she goes out to search.

"I think you saved enough!" He says over the loud sounds of the wind and rain, carefully taking the child, a toddler this time, she found out of her arms.

"No! I have to keep trying to finding others! I can't just leave them all to drown like this!" She says back.

"You're not! They're not all going to drown! You made sure of that with the ones you've already saved!" He tells her, hoping to get through how stubborn she’s being right now. She just gives him an angry look before taking off again. Realizing that she probably won't stop unless she passes out from her exhaustion, he quickly takes the toddler to the room before going back to the deck and flies in the direction he saw her go.

'I knew it.' He thinks as he spotsher clutching onto the trunk of an uprooted tree floating on the surface, fighting to keep ahold of the tree.

He had barely seen her, since she’d put her wings away at some point. Probably not long after she’d landed in the water.

Seeing that she's still conscious, if barely, he lowers down close to her and says "Grab onto me!" While holding both arms out to her. She grabs on, and he pulls her out of the water, before carefully adjusting his grip on her so one arm is under her legs while the other is holding her torso close to his, seeing how she was fighting to stay conscious.

He tightens his hold on her before flying them back to the Ark, and carefully carries her into the same room he'd left the kids in.

"Is she alright?" The teen asks as he's using some of the cloth to dry off the younger kids.

"She will be. She just needs to rest." Azraephel explains, laying her down. Seeing how she started to shiver at some point, he adds "And warm up."

"Here." The boy says, handing him a couple of blankets from the cloth pile. "Either you can use both for her, or one for yourself."

He chooses to lay them both over her, feeling as if she needs them more than him. He knows that he should probably take her wet clothes off of her, so they'll have an easier time drying, but he chose not to, out of respect for her privacy and not wanting to risk the kids seeing her like that.

Feeling how it was cold in the room, the lamps doing little to warm it up, he uses a demonic miracle to warm the room up better, being careful that the heat doesn't have any negative effects on the angel. Unfortunately, he couldn’t heat the room up as much as he wishes he could without there being a risk of him accidentally causing something to go up in flames made out of Hellfire, or anything else that would cause harm to anyone on the Ark.

After a couple hours, Azraephel wakes up the angel as he sits next to her.

"We should get you changed out of your wet clothes now." He says, having already done so himself and made sure the kids she'd saved had done the same. Some of the stuff in the pile of cloth he’d created was clothing, but the majority of it was blankets.

"Help?" She asks sleepily.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"M too tired to do it m'self." She says, as she rubs a hand on her face.

"Alright." He says, pulling his wings out as a shield to block the kids from seeing if they happen to look their way. He carefully helps her get out of the wet clothes, not letting his eyes wander to the areas humans consider private to only the body's owner and their lover. He was neither, so he knows he has no right to look there, even if the human forms they take aren’t their actual appearances and there was likely nothing in the lower area. It just didn’t seem right to him to look in those areas.

"Do you think you could find some dry clothes for her?" He asks the teen, turning to face him as he hands the angel back one of the blankets. He was careful to not move in a way that would move his wings from blocking behind him.

"I already looked while she was still sleeping. I wasn't able to find anymore." He says.

Azraephel sighs and turns back to the angel saying "I'm sorry, my dear, but unfortunately it seems as if you will just have to deal with the blanket for now."

"That's alright. At least I have something to cover with." She says, as she was starting to nod back asleep.

Azraephel leans his back against the wall near her.

"You can rest your head on my lap if you'd like to. It would probably be more comfortable than the floor." He says.

"M'kay."she says, moving to rest her head on his lap without disturbing the blanket around herself.He uses one of his wings to help cover her as well.

“I don’t think I like the rainthat muchanymore.” he thinks he hears her say, as she falls asleep.

Remembering how she reacted to the first rain storm on Eden’s wall, it pains him to hear her say that, but he does realize that she’s fully justified in saying so. He’s not so sure he likes rain that much either. Not with how much damage this one rain storm caused to every living thing on Earth.

As the angel slept, Azraephel carefully worked at untangling the knots out of her hair, knowing how annoyed she tends to get when it’s tangled up.

~~~~~

@givethispromptatry

First | Previous | Next

[flowerpot112]

Marauders First kisses

SIRIUS BLACK

"But what was it like?" Asked Peter, his eyes wide. James and Remus were either side of him looking on in admiration.

Sirius for his part was lounging in the armchair by the fire basking in the attention from his best mates, a Cheshire cat grin on his face. He had just sauntered through the portrait hole a hero, announcing to the boys and common room at large that he had just 'snogged' Laura Hayes, a fellow third year in Hufflepuff. He was inordinately proud of this fact, being the first amongst the four of them to kiss a girl.

"Brilliant of course you muppet" Sirius said shoving Peter with his foot "She couldn't get enough of me, then again who could blame her?" He gestured to what he knew was a classically handsome face.

"Awesome…" Peter breathed flopping back into the sofa.

"Poor girl, must have inhaled too many fumes in potions, probably brain damaged…." Remus grinned sitting next to Peter, reopening his book without looking at it.

"Well, if she wasn't before she is now." James sniggered as Sirius now aimed his foot in Remus direction. "So you were good at it then?" He now looked on in apprehension, he knew James would never admit it outloud but it was this fear that held James back from his own first kiss, it wasn't as if he wasn't more popular amongst the girls. James, like Sirius, always made sure he was laughed with, never at.

"What do you mean? 'Course I was good at it!" Sirius expression turned from that of absolute pride to outrage before slowly morphing into one of uncertainty "I mean, I think so… I mean it's not difficult, is it? People do it all the time…. Right?" He was proud of his achievement, but now the ever-present doubt crept in. What if he had one it wrong and now she was laughing with her friends as he was with his.

Sirius prided himself on his carefully crafted image, to the world he was the handsome, charismatic rebel of the Black family and he preferred it that way. His mother had taught him long ago to show emotion was to show weakness, he was still working on forgetting these sentiments. He looked to Remus as he often did when he was uncertain.

"Why are you looking at me you bloody idiot? You're the only one who's done it!"

"Yeah, but you always have the answers Remus, answer me damn it!"

"Well, like Pete said what was is it like?"

Sirius thought for a moment then answered quietly "Weird at first… and a bit awkward, I mean it's a bit strange to have someone else's tongue in your mouth! But, overall, yeah…. Brilliant, she was all pressed against me and smelled good and stuff…" He trailed off a small smile coming to his face. Yeah, he consoled himself, he'd done it right. After all Laura had asked him to Hogsmede afterwards. He liked Laura, she was half blood and her father was a mechanic, whatever that was, it it meant she grew up around motorbikes. Sirius was obsessed.

"Awesome" Peter reiterated.

James, his nerves now soothed (after all like Sirius said people do it all the time, could be too hard), grinned at Remus and moved to ruffle Sirius hair "Our boy's growing up so fast."

Remus mimed wiping a tear from his eye as Sirius foot now swung in the direction of James.

PETER PETTIGREW

"Peter! You absolute legend!" Remus gave Peter a congratulatory smack on the back, accidentally sending the poor boy toppling into a bench in the great hall.

"Snogging Marlene McKinnon, who'd have thought it eh?" Sirius said passing Peter a goblet of pumpkin juice.

"Yeah, way to go to old boy" James added his eyes twinkling.

Peter was busy blushing, it was unusual for him to be centre of attention even amongst his closest friends, he often felt he was on the outside looking in. He had been on his way to lunch the previous day, in his own world, grateful it was Friday. His mother had been ill the past week and Peter had been fretting his way through classes, making his usual struggle with spell work an absolute train wreck. This had landed him with three detentions and a stern telling off from McGonagall, followed swiftly by a shortbread biscuit. Marlene McKinnon of all people had stopped him in the halls and, peter noticed in full view of everyone, asked him to Hogsmeade the following day.

"It'll be a laugh…" she had exclaimed bumping him the shoulder. Peter had stammered out his acceptance of her offer through his confusion, feeling as though he was blushing from head to toe.

It wasn't that he didn't like Marlene, he knew her well enough and she was certainly a very pretty witch, it was just that Marlene usually spoke more to James and Sirius than Peter. James had known her well since childhood and the pair had a sibling like bond and Sirius, well Sirius enjoyed flirting.

Still Peter had bade farewell to his grinning friends and joined Marlene to walk down to Hogsmeade making small talk. Once in the Three Broomsticks they had talked about their upcoming plans for Christmas and laughed about the latest pranks he and his friends has played on the Slytherins. This latest escapade had earned the four troublemakers the name 'The Marauders'. They had complained about the ungodly amount of homework the professors had lumped upon them for the holidays whilst shopping in Honeydukes and set back for Hogwarts in silence. Once reaching the door of Hogwarts he had made to tell Marlene goodbye until she has leaned across and pecked Peter on the lips.

Now Peter, thoroughly cheered, had make his way to the great hall where his jokester friends were waiting. As he laughed with them, telling them of his first date and kiss he failed to notice James mouthing his thanks to Marlene, who just nodded and winked back.

JAMES POTTER

James knew objectively girls liked him. He was handsome, funny, athletic, and intelligent. His family's money didn't hurt one bit nor his pure blood status, although any girls interested in that James wouldn't entertain. Now that he was an official member of the Quidditch team it seemed every girl liked him. Well, most girls, he corrected himself thinking of a certain red-haired witch.

He quickly shook himself from that train of thought. He had asked her out, hadn't he? And she'd laughed derisively in his face before shooting a hex his way. Granted Snape was still coughing up soap bubbles from his own hex when he'd asked but he'd been genuine, much to his surprise. No she didn't want anything to do with James. But Clarice Wentworth did.

He brought himself back to the present and threw his most charming grin over his shoulder at her as he made his way across the Gryffindor common room to his fellow trouble makers. The quidditch celebration bash was in full swing, the Prewett brothers having provided all manor of treats and tricks to get the party going.

"Jamie, my boy, having a pleasant time?" Sirius asked, his ecstatic expression betraying his casual tone. After all the whole of Gryffindor house had just witnessed the enthusiastic kiss he'd just shared with Clarice.

"She just planted one on me!" James exclaimed his lips tingling a little at the memory. Which was the truth although he had been a more than willing participant. "Just walked right up and did it."

"Sounds horrific" Peter commented sarcastically.

"Shall we rush you to the hospital wing?" Remus added rolling his eyes. An action James echoed. Remus took a swig of his contraband fire whiskey.

"I'm not complaining," James explained grinning and looking over to where Clarice was giggling with her friends. "Just surprised, I'd not really noticed her properly before." He sure as hell did now.

"Not noticed her! She's bloody fit!" Sirius eyebrows looked to be attempting to join his hairline, Peter nodded vigorously.

"Too busy mooning over, then being hexed by a certain talented witch" James, deciding Remus had had quite enough for one night, snatched the bottle from Remus hands.

"I've no idea what you could possibly mean Remus, my dear friend." Still, he couldn't stop his eyes from flicking to the table where Lily Evans and her friends were sitting. They appeared to be deep in conversation but Lily, sensing James gaze no doubt turned to look at them, he looked away quickly.

Remus and Peter wore identical knowing smiles whilst Sirius just rolled his eyes and leant over to throw an arm around his favourite friends' shoulders. "Never mind Evans, she's a right stick in the mud mate, some birds just don't appreciate perfection when they see it." He shook James a little in his grasp. James appreciated Sirius' flattery, although he wasn't 100% sure his mate wasn't talking about himself.

"It would certainly make my life easier; I'm hoping to make prefect next year and Lily is a shoe in. Don't fancy spending patrols with her ignoring me because you've ticked her off." He threw James a fond but exasperated look "Maybe its best to leave her and Snape alone for a little a while?" He looked quietly hopeful.

James conceded to himself Remus had a point. Whilst it was fun to cause a bit of mayhem with the boys and funnier still seeing Snivellus get what was coming to him, he had recently found himself wanting to impress Evans, wanting to make her smile as Snivellus did, wanting to make her laugh the way Meadows did… wanting it to be her surprising him with a kiss in the common room. He could lay off… for a while at least. Clarice seemed charming and obviously more than welcomed his affections. Maybe spending some time having fun with her wouldn't hurt.

"Agreed."

Sirius scoffed "You're actually gonna let Snivellus get away with that stunt he pulled on Peter last Wednesday? Peters head was 5 times its normal size for hours!"

James tutted "Of course not! What do you take me for?" He threw arm over Sirius in return grinning, whilst Remus groaned "We just cant get caught, that's all"

Now it was Sirius turn to groan, James heard him mutter something about unfairness and credit. James chose to ignore his mates' dramatics. He looked back over to Clarice and said, "If you don't mind lads, we'll pick this up tomorrow, see you in the dorm." He made his way over to her.

REMUS LUPIN

What can only be described as a squeal echoed through Gryffindor tower. The blonde girl rushed past the three laughing Marauders clutching her shirt over her bare chest.

"Manly, Pads, really I'm impressed mate." Said James sarcastically.

"Shut it, Prongs!"

"Yeah Prongs, Sirius is too much of a free soul to be confined by stereotypical gender confines… or at least his vocal cords are" Remus teased as Sirius casually corrected his uniform without a hint of self-consciousness as the boys trooped into their dorm.

They flopped down on their own beds, dumping their bags, and shuffling out of their shoes and jackets, still wet from the storm raging outside.

"Now, Moony my romantically challenged friend, don't be jealous"

"Romantically challenged?" Remus countered, his eyebrows raising "Says the mutt who can't keep a girl past a week!" If Remus was honest with himself, he supposed he was somewhat 'romantically challenged' but he thought of it as more of a side effect of what he became each month. He tried not to mourn the things he couldn't have.

"How dare you!" Sirius clutched his chest in mock indignation as James and Peter guffawed "I'm still finding the right one."

James sniggered even more "And that entail's you snogging you're way through the population of Hogwarts…. How?"

"We can't all pine after Evans now, can we? Simply not enough of her to go around Prongs m'boy"

"She seems to be coming around to you lately James" Peter supplied helpfully defending his friend as he threw a pillow at his grinning friend.

"Thanks Pete, see Black that's good friend!" James said catching the pillow Sirius launched back at his face just in time.

"Yes James your methods of seduction are truly astonishing to behold, I look on in awe." Remus couldn't help but agree with Sirius, the day Lily Evans looked at James Potter with anything other than thinly veiled contempt would be the day Dumbledore showed up to the great hall clean shaven.

He told his dear friend so, to which James replied "Well atleast she knows how I feel! How long have you been mooning over Maeve Mathers now?"

Sirius sniggered at the pun before adding "Ask her out Moony! Join in on the fun!" Remus glared at them, they knew damn well what his worry was. As nice as it was that James was dead certain his condition shouldn't matter Sirius at least should understand Remus' trepidation, growing up in the Black household as he did.

"What we need is a tie!" Peter suddenly announced to his comrades interrupting his thoughts. Three heads swung in his direction, each boy looking at him quizzically.

"Say what?"

Grinning at the realisation he knew something his brilliant friends didn't Peter sat up properly to explain. "I've heard of muggles doing it, if one of them is with a girl in a shared room they put a tie on the door to let the other lads know, you know so they don't have to walk in on one of them half naked twice a week" He gave Sirius a pointed look.

Sirius remained unfazed "See Remus, we'll get a tie…"

"We have ties Padfoot"

"…and you'll have peace and quiet when shacking up with Mathers" Remus sincerely doubted he'd ever have peace again, not with a stag, dog and rat to contend with. But if he was being brutally honest, his 'furry little problem' wasn't the only thing holding him back.

"You have done it haven't you Moony?" Asked James, as usual hitting the nail on the head.

"Done what?" He attempted to evade, knowing he was never that lucky.

"Kissed a girl you loon, snogged, frenched, necked… canoodled?" Sirius supplied helpfully wagging his eyebrows. Peter cackled and fell to his side, meanwhile James looked at Remus his brows furrowing.

He stammered for a second before answering "I'm not interested." He willed them and himself to believe it.

"Yeah right!" Both Sirius and Peter exclaimed.

Peter continued "How do you know? Its like turnips, I used to always say I didn't like them but mum always said how did I know if I didn't try them and she was right, I tried them and now I add them to every roast, they pair excellently with gravy…" He trailed of seeming to realise the other three were looking at him like he'd slobbered on their shoe.

"Don't think girls are like turnips Wormtail."

Siruis looked back to Remus "Although that is the reasoning I had before making out with Stephen Spellings, maybe you could try a bloke Moony." He grinned daringly.

"And on that note, think its time to drop it lads." James said laughing before shooting both boys a look before turning around to get changed. Remus gratefully turned to do the same.

The boys could be incorrigible, but they usually did what James said, Peter certainly did anyway.

It was later that night when Padfoot and Wormtail were in the bathroom brushing their teeth that James plopped himself down beside Remus on his bed.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about you know. Not having been with a girl before."

"I'm not embarrassed! I just have other worries!" He insisted motioning toward the half moon through the window.

"How many times do I have to tell you Remus? That doesn't change who you are, anyone disagrees, you send them my way" James gripped his shoulder. Remus felt the usual twinge of affection, he knew he was lucky to call these three idiot's friends.

Underneath James guileless gaze he could stop it from slipping out "Well, it is a bit weird, isn't it? I'm 15 Prongs and I've never kissed anyone. What kind of girl wouldn't laugh?"

"It's not weird Moony, you're not pushing 30 or anything." He rolled his eyes and paused before a maniacal grin appeared on his face, Remus groaned, that look never led to anything good. "But Moony, you wonderful man you, if that's what you're worried about…" And before Remus could react James lips were pressed against his.

James lips were soft and warm although his nose bumped into Remus' slightly. It was over rather quickly, and James lent back seemingly unfazed.

Remus sat there in shock whilst James patted him on the shoulder, "There you've done it now. If Mathers asked you've been well and truly kissed before. Nothing stopping you from asking her to Hogsmeade now!"

His shock fading Remus broke into a strained laughter "Yeah thanks a lot" He shook his head at his best friend and shoved the laughing teen off his bed. At least he had done it now, he supposed, and it has been sort of nice, though he may have preferred Maeve to James for his first kiss.

Hope you guys enjoyed.... Also on https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13966800/1/First-Kisses

[spacecadetal]

two weeks - kakshi hatake x reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, break up, violence, blood, cuts and bruises, drinking alcohol

Word count: 1894

It started when Kakashi said he didn’t want to be with you anymore and it ended with you telling him he had two weeks to get his stuff out of your house.

When he addressed it, you turned cold. Simply saying ‘okay’. You didn’t need to know why he wanted to end it and you didn’t want to know why he wanted to end it. The idea of all your mistakes and shortcomings was something you didn’t feel the need to confront. Him leaving you was crushing enough.

You weren’t normally like this. You were actually very kind and very warm but the second you felt heartache or emotional pain you shut down. Turned cold, dead in the eyes, expressionless. A defence mechanism against hurt. Kakashi didn’t like that side of you but then again it wasn’t his or your problem anymore.

Luckily Kakashi had excellent timing to leave you, you were due to leave for your mission the next day. Two weeks across the country tracking down a rogue-nin. Sounded like a pretty good distraction.

That whole time you were suffocating these feelings down, too numb to cry about anything. You wouldn’t cry about it. He was just another person that left you, just like all the others. Instead you focused on the mission at hand, easier to think about your own survival than some guy who dumped you after you gave him half a year of your life. It made you wonder how long this ache would last, how long would you be this cold and distant for?

You don’t have time to think about these things, not when you’re blocking kicks and punches. Instead you’re focused on the fight, the opponent, trying to be two steps ahead so you don’t end up dead yourself. Perhaps this wasn’t healthy, taking out your anger on henchmen. With each punch, slash and stab you could feel your anger consume you. Strangely enough, it felt good, felt right.

Even after your team had taken down the rogue-nin, you still felt this unsettling feeling in you. Maybe you would be this way forever now. living off anger, being cold and dead inside.

The first and only thought you had as you saw the gates of Konoha in the distance was: he better have his shit out of my house.

Giving a wave goodbye to your teammates after you all entered the gates, you were going to go straight home. You needed to bathe and maybe have something proper to eat, it had been two weeks and bathing in rivers wouldn’t cut it compared to a warm shower.

You couldn’t bring yourself to smile at the kids chasing each other around on the streets, couldn’t bring yourself to smile at the smell of sweet dumplings, couldn’t bring yourself to smile at a mother and her small child holding hands.

As you turned the corner, now on the street where you lived, you saw two figures in the distance coming your direction. One of them was a figure you knew all too well. Kakashi. Hands stuffed in his vest pockets, chatting politely. On his side was a very beautiful young woman, maybe just a little older than you were yourself. Dressed sharply and nicely, no headband or vest in sight. This woman wasn’t a shinobi.

Didn’t take him long did it?

Your nose screwed up, feeling sick to your stomach. That idle anger was brewing up again, taking every drop of inner strength not to go up to him and tell him he can shove that six months of your life he wasted up his ass. In the distance you could see your home, you considered it for a moment only to ultimately walk away. Luckily, he hadn’t seen you yet.

Instead you went straight to the bar. It was getting around six at night so you knew at least Kurenai would be nursing a drink. You were right, Kurenai was sitting in a booth next to Gemna and Iruka, you assumed Asuma would be trailing behind soon. Her face dropped as soon as she saw you.

“(Y/N)! Are you okay?” Kurenai asked as you approached the booth, trying to move as quickly as she could to meet you.

“I’m fine” you said as your backpack rolled off your shoulders and onto the floor.

Sure, Kurenai's panic was warranted. You looked like you had been dragged to hell and back. Your body and face was covered in bruises ranging from dark purples to icy blues to pale yellows. Scratches littering your arms and face as if you had been attacked by a stray cat. A single deep cut on your cheek from when one of the rogue-nin’s henchmen threw a shuriken at you, luckily only grazing you. Dirt smeared on your features. At this point you didn’t care what you looked like, you just wanted a drink.

Kurenai kindly went to get you a drink, the hard stuff because boy did you look like you needed it. Sitting down across from you and sliding it your way she cautiously spoke.

“So, I heard about you and Kakashi…”

“Yeah, it is what it is” you said, playing it off like you had lost something minuscule like a pen or a book instead of someone you genuinely loved.

“Have you seen him since you got back?” Iruka asked, you shook your head as you took a sip of the amber liquid in your glass.

It was strong, burnt slightly on the way down. Not that that mattered, you still were going to down the full glass.

“I don’t really want to talk about Kakashi, it’s old news” you lied through your teeth. It wasn’t old news, that’s why it still hurt.

“That’s okay! We can talk about something else!” Iruka said, thinking fast on what to change the subject too.

Soon enough Asuma arrived and the party really started. The booth began to laugh and drink and joke around. It was just what you needed, you felt yourself easing up. Maybe it was the company or maybe it was the drink, either way it was working and you were feeling a lot lighter. Your chest didn’t feel as heavy anymore. Maybe you weren’t going to be this way forever.

It was only when you saw the sharp points of spiked silver hair that the sinking feeling came back. What was he doing here?

“I’m going to head off, probably need a good shower” you said as you slung your backpack over your shoulder, receiving ‘goodbye’ and ‘take care’ from the group.

Kakashi was walking to the same booth you were leaving from. Your head was locked straight ahead, the target was the door. You wouldn’t give Kakashi a side glance, even if you wanted to glare at him. You refused to acknowledge his presence, he certainly knew you were passing in his direction. His eyes looked at you as you approached closer, expecting to be acknowledged only for you to walk by as if he was a stranger. Not the man you loved still.

It must have stung because as soon as you were out the door and walking down the street, you heard your name being called.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!”

You didn’t want to deal with this right now, you just wanted to go home.

“(Y/N)! Wait up!” Kakashi called for you but you kept walking.

“(Y/N)! Stop!” Finally he was in front of you, hands on your shoulders firmly to stop you from walking away. You shook them off, trying to get past him.

“Did you get your shit out of my house?” You finally spoke, your eyes looking bravely into his.

Kakashi nodded silently. Right then, you heard all you wanted to hear, it was time to go home.

“(Y/N), you look a mess. Have you gone to the hospital?”

“No,” you said plainly, trying to keep walking down the street, “it’s none of your concern”

“It is my concern” he said as he tried to keep up with your fast pace. The sooner you were home the better.

“No, it really isn’t” you spat, “not anymore”

You were having a hard time trying to supress the anger rising within you. Who did he think he was?

“(Y/N)-“

“Where do you get off? You dumped me and now you’re following me around pretending you care, leave me alone, Kakashi. We’re done” you interrupted him, saying all you wanted to say. This was a warning and he better back off before he gets the full extent of your anger.

“I didn’t leave you because I didn’t care” Kakashi tried to say but you already were walking away, hand up to tell him you didn’t care what he had to say.

“I don’t care”

Why was this walking taking so long? You didn’t even live that far from the bar. You just wanted to get inside and lock the door, get away from him.

“(Y/N)! I left you because I was scared”

That got your attention, you turned around to look at him. One hand holding the strap of your backpack tightly.

“I was scared that one day one of us might not come back through those gates” Kakashi said, finally admitting the reason he left you in the first place.

“It’s done, Kakashi” you didn’t want to hear anymore, turning around to continue walking home.

Why can’t he just respect his own decision? He chose this, he did this. Does he think he can cause all this grief and then come along and try to fix it? You hadn’t even gotten started about his little walk around the village with his pretty girl yet.

Finally your street was coming up and you felt instantly relieved. Kakashi could stand outside your house and say all he wanted once you got home, it wouldn’t matter because you’d be in the shower instead of being forced to listen to him.

“(Y/N), can you just listen to me?” Kakashi began to plead.

“I’ve heard enough” you said almost as if you were bored of it, tired of it.

Your front door was in sight now and in a few minutes you’d be home and there would be a big wall finally separating you and Kakashi. You couldn’t get there fast enough. Fumbling with your keys, your hands shook as you tried to insert the key quickly. Trying to pay no mind that he was leaning against your door frame, trying to catch your attention.

“(Y/N)” he whispered gently, his fingers under your chin raising your head to look at him, “I made a mistake by leaving you”

You felt your heart stop as his fingers delicately traced your jawline, lightly touching the bruises and cuts on your face. Finally his thumb made its way to the gash on your cheek. “I’ve made a mess of things haven't I?” he whispered.

The lock clicked and your door was ready to be opened thankfully. You had no intention of standing out in the cold while Kakashi played games with your mind. Hand twisting the handle, your door opened and you were ready to retreat.

“You did this” you said quietly as you walked inside.

Taking one last look at the man almost in ruins on your doorstep before you closed your front door on him.

[thatesqcrush]

Soul Savin’

Rafael Barba x Reader. AN: Taking a lot of liberties and using a lot of prompts and part of a challenge here, specifically: @madpanda75‘s “from your smutty prompt list, can you please do “Friends don’t do this kind of shit!” where Barba and the reader go to a bar, have some tequila, then do some body shots” as well as @delia26‘s “I turned out liking your a lot more than I originally planned.” Finally, using Jewel’s “Who Will Save Your Soul” as part of @thefanficfaerie‘s birthday challenge. AN2: Trying to write through grief is weird AF. Apologies in advance for typos & nonsensical shit. 

CW: language, eventually it’ll be NSFW. Angst, slow-burning, fluff. A mixed bag. 

WC: 2K

***

Rafael was surprised to find you at the bar. Normally Forlini’s was his choice establishment. He had been handed a difficult loss so he decided to go five miles upward from home and work. It was a desperate attempt to get away from it all and away from anyone he knew. You were drowning your sorrows with some kind of alcohol – he couldn’t tell what it was. Your back was slumped, your shoulders were curved, and your head was hung low.  You appeared forlorn. It had rained earlier in the day and your hair, which had been perfectly coiffed earlier, was messily undone. Your shirt clung to your skin and Rafael surmised you must have been caught in the earlier rainstorm that took place. He had heard the brontide during his travels.

“Detective Y/N,” Rafael greeted as he took the bar stool to your right. “I see you started without me.”

You looked up at the prosecutor who you’ve come to work so closely with. You gave him a half smile. “What are you doing here?” you questioned, not bothering to greet him.

“I wanted to get away from everyone,” Rafael replied as he motioned to the bartender to come over. You raised your brow at his response - seemed you two had something in common.

“What are you drinking?”

“Grouse,” you replied to which Rafael crinkled his nose. His eyes scanned the array of bottles behind the bar and when the bartender came over, he ordered Bruichladdich Black Art neat – one for you and one for him.  “How you can drink that swill is beyond me,” he retorted.

You narrowed your eyes. “Not all of us have deep pockets counselor. Some of us are broke like a joke.”

Rafael huffed slightly as he handed his card over to the bartender. “Keep it open,” he requested. He waved slightly over your way and instructed the bartender that he would pay your tab. You began to protest but Rafael shook his head, insisting. “Broke like a joke right?”

You swiveled in your seat and turned around, your back to the bar. You watched as the other patrons mingled about. You took a long languid sip of the scotch and let it swish around in your mouth. You appreciated the complex notes and hummed your approval. “This is good. Really good.” Still, as impressed as you were, your voice was quiet, and he could hear the regret and disappointment in your voice.

Rafael cocked his head, looking over at you. Fifteen years his junior, Rafael was completely fascinated with you when he first met you a year and a half ago.  You had made your own lateral move to SVU, transferring over from homicide. Rafael would watch you out of the corner of his eye, admiring your intelligence and quick wit. You showed empathy for the victims. You had a keen sense of skirting the law but were always able to maintain its integrity. A lot of the time, you drove him – and sometimes your commander – ostensibly crazy. To top it off, you were beautiful. Whenever he was in close quarters with you, he felt enchanted, like a moth to a flame.

“Don’t take it so hard,” Rafael replied quietly, trying hard to ignore how your shirt clung to your dampened skin and what it did to him. “You did all that you could. Your testimony was solid.”

You snorted in response before taking another pull of your drink. “I like to think that I knew exactly what to do – with this case. How to approach it and how to solve it. I have the skill, I could see the path, the steps and I keep thinking… why couldn’t the jury see it?” You tapped your temple - your eyes were brimmed with unshed tears. Eventually one lone tear betrayed you and traveled southward. Rafael resisted the urge to cup your face.

You cast your eyes over Rafael, watching him with intent – his strong jawline, his distinguished nose, his pink lips, his seafoam green eyes. If you squinted hard enough, you could make out his five o’clock shadow which stemmed from his greying temples. It was too much at times. His handsomeness was churlish and discourteous.

Working with Rafael was as the cool kids said, wild. Never in your career had you met someone who was so emblazoned and passionate by and of, the law. He was guided both by the spirit of the law and by the letter of it. You were not sure as to when your torch for Rafael was set ablaze, but it was. The embers in your heart were rekindled when you met him. You initially pushed those feelings aside, focusing on work. For you, things in homicide seemed – easier almost; the majority of the time it was black and white. Not in SVU. It was as if you had to work harder to prove the victims, were indeed the victims. The grey, the ambiguity, the dubiousness of consent. Sometimes securing justice was victorious – and other times, like now, it felt fleeting. You worked with a stellar team and you learned so much; it made you a better detective. As complicated as SVU was – so were your feelings for Rafael.

The bar which had been quiet, began to fill with patrons. You looked at the clock and surmised happy hour was starting early.

Rafael set his drink down and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves, showing off his muscular forearms. You took a deep breath and focused your view on the now empty glass in front of you. You motioned for the bartender to refill your drink.

“So, what are you doing here?” you asked as you leaned forward to pluck a cherry from the garnish caddy. “You don’t live this far up, do you?”

“No.” Rafael replied, as he leaned over to snatch the cherry from you. You gave him a pointed look and he gave you a small smile, his eyes crinkling in response. He popped the cherry in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “I used to come here back when I worked corporate.”

“You used to work corporate?” you sputtered. You grabbed a napkin and wiped your face and shirt, feeling your face grow hot with embarrassment. “When?”

“How do you think I can afford these suits?” Rafael retorted. He waved his hand, “Don’t answer, that’s rhetorical. I worked in mergers and corporate acquisitions after graduation. They say loyalty lies where money is tied. And for awhile, I stayed. I was fortunate to get a free ride, so I was able to save up. I didn’t have to worry about debt.” A look so subtle flashed across your face that Rafael was not even sure he even caught it.

Rafael continued, “Eventually, my mother needed help with my abuelita; she was getting older - more frail. Like the good little Catholic boy that I was... you know, guilt and responsibility - I came home from Cambridge and worked in midtown to be close by. The work was good, but unfulfilling. I wanted to do something where I could use my Spanish and feel connected to the world. There was a lead on opening with the Brooklyn D.A.’s office, and that’s how I eventually ended up here. The hours were better. I could be with my family more.”

“Well boy wonder, I wish I could say my story was half as good as that. But there is not much to tell,” you replied. You took Rafael’s drink from in front of him and kicked it back.

“Tell me,” Rafael implored. “I want to hear it.”

“Why?” you questioned defensively. “We’re not friends.” ‘We’re not anything.’ you continued in your mind.

“We are friends. We’re colleagues after all. I’m friends with Liv… and don’t tell anyone, because I will deny it, but Carisi too.”

You cocked your head at Rafael’s response. You momentarily sobered up and nodded. “Okay.” And so you did – you told him how like Carisi, you did your own five borough tour – starting in Brooklyn where you grew up and then moved to Queens to go to St. John’s. You moved in with your boyfriend after graduation and lived in the Bronx. But that romance while long lived, caused heartbreak and from there you enrolled in the Academy. You worked your way through and through before you made your move to  SVU.

More drinks were had. At one point, Rafael and you both decided that food was desperately needed to sop up the liquor: bacon wrapped onion rings, pork belly sliders and nachos were just some of the things you both gorged on while continuing to talk. Hours were quickly spent.

You stood up from your seat and felt unsteady. Despite your attempts to fuel, the alcohol had already taken a grip on your system. Your mind was fuzzy and your tongue was starting to feel numb. Two large hands gripped your waist to steady you. You felt your face heat up once more and you mumbled your thanks.

“It’s late.” you replied, feeling his breath on yours. You wondered if Rafael could feel how quick your heart was racing. All the time spent together tonight had only further fueled your feelings. “I should go.”

“Not alone. You’ve had a lot to drink.”

You cocked your brow. “I can take care of myself, Rafael.”

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable. You know the work we do; the people we come across. If something happened to you because you weren’t sound…” His voice was low, filled with concern.

You grabbed his forearm, bringing his attention back to focus. “Okay, okay. You’ll see me home then.”

Rafael paid the open tab and escorted you outside. He stepped off the curb and flagged down a taxi. You managed to mumble your address to the driver and Rafael was pleased to know you actually lived close by to him. He wondered why you chose a midtown Manhattan bar to congregate at.

The cab ride was mostly silent. Finally, the cab came to a stop. Rafael again, took care of the fare and he accompanied you to your apartment door. You fumbled with your purse and it fell to the ground, scattering its contents. Rafael helped you gather your stuff. He handed you the keys and he let out a low hum as your hands touched ever so briefly. You opened the door, and leaned against the doorway. “Thanks for the drinks and thanks for getting me home.”

“You’re welcome Y/N,” Rafael replied looking past your shoulder, allowing a brief glance of what your apartment was like. It was compulsively neat - like his. 

“I’ll see you Monday.”

Rafael nodded, the corner of his lips twitched into a smile. There was something about it that unsettled you - but in a good way.  You shut the door and leaned against it. Confusion settled in. You felt as if everything you consumed was ready to upchuck. Rafael let out a breath as the door shut with a click.

As fate would have it, it began to downpour on the walk home. Rafael quickened his pace through the city streets, getting soaked to the bone. Finally he was back at his own apartment. He slumped against his own door, feeling defeated not just in his court case, but in other matters as well.

He finally pulled himself away and dried off, slipping into black light-knit sweatpants and a Harvard t-shirt. As he settled into bed, his phone buzzed. His heart began to pound - almost foretelling his oncoming hangover as he realized he had a text message from you.

I meant what I said; thanks for everything tonight. It was fun amigo. We should do it again.

Rafael’s dreams that night were filled with longing and desire for you. It was in his dreams, he was with you and he woke up the next morning, filled with bitterness for the unattainable. He just didn’t know that your sleep was fraught with similar dreams.

TBC.

Tags: @madpanda75 @youreverycolor @tropes-and-tales @neely1177 @thebabybookworm @mrsrafaelbarba @skittle479 @ottosuricato @delia26 @sass-and-suspenders @mommakat32 @dreila03 @beccabarba @garturbo @lovebennycolon @imjustreallynosy @sweetsummertime99 @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @scarletsoldierrr @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @zoeykaytesmom @differentshadesofgray @misssirenlove @esparza-army @bananas-pajamas @mishaissocoollike @fanficfaeriesrafaelbarbalibrary @theenchantedgalleryofstories @thefanficfaerie @trekinthruthestarwars @catnip987 @choppedgalaxynerd @pieceofshittytitty @melsquared79 - anyone else, just ask.

[spookypalace]

worship the flame - chapter six

Jo peaks a look at him once or twice as he’s ordering a list of  drinks, she’s certain he catches her as pink lips curve into a smirk.  Brown eyes meet for a final time before he steps away, and she  wonders—maybe her dry spell would end.

---

Or the one where Jo meets Alex in a bar, during her final year of med school.

(if you would rather read on ao3, you can do here)

The next few days had been surprisingly relaxing and peaceful for Jo, despite the fact that it was a house where three twenty-something year old's were living in (Jackson was becoming a permanent fixture of the small, two-bedroom death trap (as Alex had decided to lovingly name her apartment)). The three of them mostly stuck to doing their own thing; Jackson worked crazy hours as an intern, Lexie preffered to study at the library and Jo preferred the comfort of her own couch. A luxury she never used to have.  

Their spring break had begun just two days ago, and now jobless—Jo's days were pretty low key, except for when she went to their new bar with Alex, or he came over and vice versa. Of course, she only visited when his house was free from prying roommates to save them both answering questions. Because that was why they were doing this thing in the first place—to avoid labels and all the other crap that came with relationships. But if she wasn’t with Alex, then she was studying or job searching—she could swear she could hear her credit card weeping every time she visited the store.

Her low key day continued as she once again relaxed on the couch, finishing off the rest of her medical book as Alex lay on the couch to her left—a rare day off. Lexie and Jackson were both out of the apartment, as far as Jo knew, though she really didn’t keep track of them at this point. They could be having a mid-day nap for all she knew.

The peace was suddenly interrupted, however, when Jo’s phone began vibrating and one look at the caller I.D. had her groaning in distaste, head tilting back and eyes shutting tightly as Alex threw a questioning look towards her. Oddly, it was Thatcher, Lexie’s father, was calling and Jo would much rather throw her phone out the second story window rather than answer the call. She only had his number because Lexie was terrible at answering his calls, even during the holidays or anniversaries, so when Lexie had dragged Jo along to visit him, he had insisted that he have Jo’s number just in case. Whilst Jo knew that Lexie adored her father and Jo herself thought he had moments of being kind-of interesting due to his medical background … Thatcher’s traditionalist and republican nature in general just didn’t agree with Jo, especially when he was passive-aggressively trying to throw her views at the people around her.

“Hi, Mr. Grey,” she greeted, hoping her cheerful tone didn’t sound as forced as Alex’s smirk telling her it was. She waved him off as he snorted.

“Jo, hello sweetheart,” came the man’s honeyed response. “How are you?”

Jo put in her bookmark and shut the book, leaning back against the cheap couch as she gazed up at the inside of the red umbrella. “I’m good, how about you?”

“Wonderful,” Thatcher chirped. “Lexie told me that you two have got a week off school. Lexie’s not answering her calls, so I wanted to ask if you two and your boyfriends would like to come over for dinner?”

Two feelings instantly stirred up in Jo at her Thatcher’s words; one was annoyance towards Lexie for telling Thatcher they both had some free time, and the second was utter confusion that was loud and clear on Jo’s face through the furrow of her eyebrows and bewildered contortion of her expression. “Boyfriend?” was all she could manage out, eyes widening slightly.

“Well, yes,” Thatcher responded with an obvious chuckle. “When Lexie came by, she told me that you couldn’t make it because you were staying over at your new boy's house—you’re not telling me that you’re sleeping over at some man's house without being in a relationship with him? That’d be a shame.”

Jo knew Thatcher, unfortunately, and she knew his shame didn’t mean that it’d be upsetting that Jo wasn’t in a relationship yet—she meant that being a single girl and spending the night with a boy, even if it was temporary, was something akin to sinful. Jo couldn’t help but roll her eyes as his words sank in her mind—Thatcher was the most extreme form of a republican, who still thought a woman’s place is in the house. Despite the fact his ex-wife was an exceptional surgeon, and his daughter was soon to be herself. And while Jo thought there was nothing wrong with a woman who chose the house-wife kind of lifestyle, him trying to impose it on others was tiresome.

She really did regret the very moment, years ago, that she agreed to meet Lexie’s father … she loved spending holidays and important milestones with Lexie, but with Lexie came her father. And over the years, she had been forced to spend enough time with the man.

And for Jo, life went by so much easier by just playing along with Thatcher for the time being rather than reminding her friends dad that her views were totally different. Jo desperately wanted to get out of this dinner, but she knew Thatcher would reschedule it and Jo would end up getting a call from Lexie forcing her to go to Thatcher’s house. But a boyfriend? Where was Jo going to pull that out of?

If she told Thatcher she didn’t have a boyfriend and was, in fact, just sleeping over at a guys—despite the fact that was completely normal—there was no doubt Lexie’s father would start gossiping about Jo’s scandalous behavior to all of his old work friends and the rest of Lexie’s family. Jo didn’t need anyone in the only family that had accepted her thinking badly of her, whether it be true or not—Jo actually liked a lot of Lexie’s extended family, mostly her mother's side, though.

“Uh, no, no,” she hesitantly lied, taking a breath as she made up her mind to try to go along with this. “Of course I’m here with my boyfriend.” Suddenly Jo could feel Alex’s gaze on her, and she glanced over, taking in his brown eyes glinting with curiosity, eyebrows drawn upwards in startled confusion as he wondered what the hell Jo was talking about. She shook her head with a brief dismissive roll of her eyes, silently telling him she’ll explain later. “I’ll, um, let him and, uh, Lexie and Jackson know and we’ll come by for dinner.”

Oh, my God—what was I doing?

“Perfect!” Thatcher cheered, clearly overjoyed at his daughter's best friends' acceptance. “Be here by seven—I’ll get my wife to make chocolate mousse cups; I know how much you like them.”

At the mention of the dessert, Jo perked up a little bit; Mrs. Grey did make ridiculously delicious chocolate mousse. “Alright, great, I’ll see you then.” After he bid her goodbye and ended the call, Jo dropped her phone on the couch and let out a heavy sigh, closing her eyes briefly because what had she just done? She could barely handle Thatcher, how was she going to subject someone else to him?

“Didn’t know you were in a relationship,” Alex’s playful tone sounded, making Jo look at the amused expression lighting up his face. Quirking an eyebrow, he turned his attention away from the television and prodded, “Care to explain?”

Jo rubbed her hands down her face, pressing her lips together before her expression became one of helplessness. “Lexie’s dad invited us for dinner, and he thinks I have a boyfriend because I couldn’t possibly be staying at some guy's house without being with the guy.”

“Is this the Christian republican parent?” Jo nodded, lips pouting slightly. “So, he’d rather you, someone who isn’t even his daughter, be staying with a guy you’re in a relationship with before, like, marriage than with a guy that’s just your friend?”

Jo sighed. “Yes.”

Alex looked utterly bewildered at her words, though she didn’t blame him because despite knowing the man for years now, Jo sometimes didn’t even understand Thatcher’s thought process. Didn’t some hardcore religious people believe it was a sin to live with a significant other before marriage like Alex pointed out?  

“So, uh,” Alex frowned briefly, and Jo could just see his mind trying to work its way around Thatcher’s thinking. Good luck with that, buddy. “You need a fake boyfriend for dinner tonight?” he asked with a short, disbelieving laugh.

“Yup,” Jo huffed sharply through her nose, glancing behind them at the glass door leading into the house as she pinched her lips to the side. “I could probably ask Isaac from school, he’d totally do it … but then again, do I want to even pretend to be in a relationship with Isaac Cross.”

Alex blinked; brown eyes almost translucent against the sunlight that streamed through the window as he glanced at the door as well before looking back at the brunette. “Uh, excuse me,” he tonelessly said, holding his hands out. “Should I be offended you didn’t even think of asking me?”

This time Jo stared at Alex in surprise, not expecting that response. “Oh, uh,” she awkwardly cleared her throat, suddenly feeling embarrassed when he raised his eyebrows expectantly. She didn’t mean for him to feel left out. “I, um, didn’t think you’d, like, wanna do it.”

His eyebrows lowered into a frown. “Why not?”

Because we both specifically agreed this was a friends-with-benefits deal? Pretending to be my boyfriend again when I vowed, I did not want a boyfriend? Because this could make things messy? Or was I just overthinking this like the anxious freak that I am?

When Jo stayed silent by nervously chewing on her lower lip, apparently it was enough for Alex to understand exactly what was going through her mind as his features relaxed into realization. “Because of what I said, about not wanting a girlfriend?” he knowingly asked, voicing Jo’s very thoughts as she rolled her lips into her mouth guiltily, causing Alex to scoff slightly as he sat up. “Come on, Jo, don’t be ridiculous. That doesn’t mean I can’t help you out, I’d like to think we’re friends as well.” He shrugged, offering her a small smile. “I’m just doing you a favor.”

The look in his light eyes were sincere, smile encouraging with a small persuasive lift of his eyebrows. And if Jo was being honest, the sight of his close-mouthed smile that showed off the cute dimples in his cheeks made quick work of making Jo agree with him without much of a fight. Alex was right; he was just doing her a favor and there was no harm in that. Lexie wouldn’t mind Alex being her faux boyfriend for the evening—after all, it was Lexie’s fault that she found herself in this mess. No big deal. If only her roommate answered her damn phone.

Thatcher lived in one of the upper scale neighborhoods in Seattle, near the end of a cul-de-sac, which was easily noticeable when Alex drove down the street and they passed two to three story houses that all looked like they got a new coat of paint. The trees lining up the sidewalks rustled in the wind, the breeze blowing through Lexie and Jo’s hair as the window parted and Lexie pointed to the left. “It’s the blue house.”

Alex nodded, pulling the car into the driveway behind a Buick before killing the engine. Jo let out a sigh while unbuckling her seatbelt, the dread already stirring in her stomach as she got out and looked up at the two story house, unprepared for whatever lay inside it. Glancing at Alex as he got out, Jo couldn’t help but smile slightly; she was grateful that he was here, ready to play the role of her boyfriend just so Lexie’s family wouldn’t think she was some kind of sinning brat. Which was, in Jo’s opinion, a dramatic overreaction but that’s just how Thatcher was.  

She wishes she didn’t care, wishes that it was no big deal whether or not Lexie’s family liked her. But it was. After everything, years of being alone—Lexie was the first person who really made Jo feel like she was a part of something, like she finally had people. Lexie was the person that was always in her corner, and with Lexie came her family, a family which had welcomed her in no exceptions. Even if Thatcher was incredibly hard to deal with, he was important to Lexie. Therefore, important to Jo.

“You ready for this?” Jackson asked as they stepped onto the porch, right in front of the white door. Nerves also radiated off him as he awkwardly smiled, Jo hadn’t even realised … this would also be the first time Jackson was meeting Lexie’s parents.

Exhaling sharply, Jo ran her fingers through her hair and nodded, shooting Jackson a small encouraging smile. He probably needed it more than she did. No doubt Thatcher would ask her and Alex questions about their relationship, and because she’s been friends with Alex for a mere couple of weeks and they could stand to know one another a little better, establishing was how long they’ve been together was the least of her worries. But Jo decided three months—even so far as coming up with their first date being a picnic—it was simple, very Jo. While everything else could just be derived from their preexisting friendship, I mean, they still spent time with another. Maybe not as much time as an average couple, but they spoke a lot … although the only thing they could class as ‘going on a date’ was heading to the bar. Shouldn’t be too bad, right?

As Lexie rings the doorbell with a wide and eager smile, Jo bit the inside of her cheek as they waited, glancing at Alex as he smiled reassuringly just as the door opened, revealing Lexie’s father. She looked a lot like Jo’s mother, though her hair was a darker shade of red and nose slightly crooked from being set poorly after she had broken it when she was fourteen.

“Hi, honey!” He greeted Lexie happily, pulling Lexie in for a hug and engulfing her before he turned to Jo. “Aw, it’s so good to see you.” Jo smiled up at him, returning the hug he then engulfed her in before they pulled away and his dark eyes flickered over to the two tall men next to her.

Oh, here we go. “This is Jackson,” Lexie introduced, “oh! And erm, Jo’s Alex …" Lexie quickly added, gesturing between the two. “Jackson and Alex, this is my father, Thatcher.”

Lexie had returned home about two hours after Jo’s phone call with her father, Jackson wasn’t due back to their place for another hour, but Jo managed to clue Lexie in on the entire situation. After several rounds of giggling, and a few jokes here and there about Jo finally had a boyfriend, albeit fake—Lexie had agreed to help Jo pretend that Alex was now her boyfriend. Not that there was ever a doubt in Jo’s mind that her friend would say no.

Jackson offered that charming, dimpled smile that he could most definitely use to get away with things, and Alex a crooked grin but it was a smile that Jo found widening her own as he held out his hand. “It’s great to meet you,” he said, shaking his hand before Jackson followed his lead.

Thatcher shook Jackson’s hand, the smile on his face easily telling Jo and Lexie that Alex and Jackson had effortlessly charmed him already. “You, too. Jackson, Lexie’s told me much about you. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard much of you,” he mused, stepping aside to let them into the house and sending a pointed look to Alex.

“Yeah, all good things I hope,” Jackson responded for them as the door shut behind them and Jo looked around the house, she’s only been to less than a handful of times. So, Jo took in the various pictures hung up in the foyer of her Lexie’s family, catching sight of even some of a younger Lexie with all of her cousins. She felt the overwhelming urge to laugh at how dorky Lexie looked when she was younger, but suppressed it when she turned to see Lexie’s glare—the younger girl knowing exactly what Jo was thinking.

After getting the pleasantries out of the way, Thatcher guided the four twenty-odd year old's into the living room, walls and tables decorated with picture frames and paintings as she sat them down on the suede couch while calling for his wife, Lexie’s mother Susan, to come downstairs. Jo felt almost stiff as she sat down, the smile on her face a bit strained and causing her cheeks to hurt a bit as she forced myself to relax. No way would she get through this if already she felt so rigid by her reluctance on being here.

“So, how’s school Jo?” Thatcher inquired after asking all four of them if they wanted anything to drink, Lexie had accepted but the rest had kindly declined. “Lexie mentioned you’re both very eager to finish in a few months.”

“Great, I mean, it’s fine but, erm, yeah … we can’t wait for it be over,” Jo answered, crossing her right leg over her left knee. “I can’t remember the last time I didn’t spend an entire weekend studying.”

Lexie snickers, “I think Jo will actually miss the studying,” mouth full as she crams in one of the biscuits sitting on the coffee table for them.

Thatcher nodded just as heavy footsteps thudded on the stairs, right before Jo caught sight of Lexie’s mother walking into the living room. She grinned, wrapping Lexie in a hug just as the three of them stood up to greet her. “Long time no see, kiddo,” she smiled as Jo hugged the small woman.  

They pulled away and Lexie introduced her to Jackson and then Alex, all shaking hands once again. Jo was slightly surprised that Alex was taller than Uncle Ian by an inch or so, though Alex was taller than most men she knew so it wasn’t too shocking.  

As they settled back down, her aunt and uncle sitting on the smaller couch diagonal of her and Alex as Jo cleared her throat and asked, “how are you both?”

“Old,” Susan answered with a chuckle, before hiccupping which caused Lexie to frown. “We’re hoping to get away soon … Jackson! Lexie tells me you’re an intern at Mercy West, must be tiring.”

Jackson hummed before offering a small chuckle, “just have to keep reminding myself it’ll be worth it.”

Nodding in approval at his words, Thatcher gestured between Jo and Alex. “So how long have you two been together? Lexie never said anything about you seeing anyone until last week, Jo.”

Oh, boy, here we go.  

Glancing at Alex, Jo noticed the easy smile on his face as he met her gaze and his obvious confidence had her looking back at Thatcher and answering, “Three months. You know how I am with relationships—keep ‘em to myself,” she added with a slightly nervous laugh. Lexie never said anything to her family about Jo’s relationship because there obviously wasn’t any relationship to disclose. Not one that was serious anyway.

“We’ve kind-of known each other for a while though,” Alex piped up, leaning back on the couch with his left ankle resting on his right knee, calm and casual. “We met whilst Jo was working, actually. I’ve been going to the bar for a while, can’t say I hadn’t been working up the courage to ask her out.”

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Thatcher smiled, tilting his head to the side. “It’s always nice to get to know someone before looking for something more, isn’t it?”

Jo forced a close-lipped smile at her words, nodding as she hummed in agreement. She couldn’t help but feel awkward, especially with that friends comment because now all she could think about was the fact that it was all a lie. All they knew was one another's names when she dragged him back to her place. They may know one another now, but she highly doubted Alex had noticed her at the bar. Suddenly Jo felt a hand on her knee, glancing down with raised brows to see Alex’s fingers on her knee. The couch caught her off guard a bit, especially when Alex smiled lazily as he said turned to say to Lexie’s parents, “That’s what I kept tellin’ Jo before getting her to finally go out with me. You know the kind of person they are to a certain extent so when you’re dating, nothing can take you by surprise but there’s still some mystery to the stuff that hasn’t been explored, y’know?”

Jo gaped at Alex, hoping her expression didn’t show off any confusion as she wondered what he was doing. The plan was to answer any questions they might have, not give off any information on their own accord. It just made things slightly more complicated, and Jo and Alex could avoid that from happening, then that’s the way they need to keep things.  

“Agreed,” Susan nodded approvingly at Alex’s words before smiling at her wife. “Thatcher and I had been friends for five years before I worked up the courage to ask her on a date. Been together ever since.” The sweet, loving smile they shared brought a smile to Jo’s lips. Thatcher may drive her and Lexie crazy sometimes, but he and his wife were so cute together. Looking back at Alex and Jo, Susan mused, “I gotta tell you—falling in love with a friend and knowing they feel the same way just brings a much deeper meaning to your friendship, doesn’t it?”

He was asking Jo and Alex, both of whom were glancing at each other for a brief moment as Jo’s lips parted slightly in hesitant wonder. Alex had a small smile curling at his lips, barely hinting at the dimple in his cheek as Jo felt his hand squeeze her knee, the touch warm through the material of her pants as his smooth voice answered, “Couldn’t agree more, Mr. Grey.”

Looking at Alex, Jo noticed the way the muscle in his jaw was jumping, realizing he must be clenching his teeth despite the smile on his face. She wondered if he was thinking about someone else; after all, the two of them had become friends but there was a lot left for them to know. She wondered if he ever craved that again. To be with someone for more than just one night—to have something deeper. Jo’s brought out of her thoughts at the sound of Lexie almost choking on her cookie, attempting to reign in her laughter as Jackson smirked over at the pair.

Soon enough Susan said she was going to get dinner ready, and Lexie and Jo instantly stood up to help her out in the kitchen, forcing Alex’s hand to fall off her knee as he remained in the living room to converse with Thatcher and Jackson. Maybe being alone with the two women wasn’t the wisest of ideas, but Alex’s hand on her knee had left a searing mark on Jo’s skin through the material of her pants and it was sending shockwaves up her body that she desperately needed to calm down. It made her feel uneasy; she had now become so accustomed to his hands on her body but all of a sudden it was almost too much.

“They’s a handsome pair,” Susan praised as they entered the kitchen, large and open with a center counter where the sink was located. “Nice catch,” she added with a smile, winking over at Lexie.

Jo let out an airy laugh, hoping she didn’t catch any awkwardness in her smile as Jo ducked her head slightly to pick up the hot dish of rigatoni with two dish towels. So far Lexie’s family seemed to like Alex, which was a good start. “Yeah Jackson’s, uh, he’s pretty great for Lex,” Jo answered. That much was the truth—although she was only saying this to defer the conversation away from her and Alex. But she thought Alex was a good guy too, his willingness to help Jo out in this awkward situation proved that much.

Walking into the adjoining dining room, Jo put the dish down on the table that already was set sans the food, hearing Alex and Thatcher talking nearby before returning to the kitchen. “I’m surprised you’re dating again, Lexie mentioned that you were still upset with ... oh what’s his name,” Susan remarked casually, prompting Jo to pause briefly as she re-entered the kitchen. Holy hell—was there anything that Lexie didn’t tell her mom? Lexie shoots her an apologetic look as Susan brings up a finger to her cheek, trying to recall the name. “James? Oh no, Jason! It was Jason.” Susan exclaims at Jo, like she was also lost for the name, “Lexie thought you were still upset with what happened with that Jason.”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Jo slowly made her way to the fridge to pull out the bottles of soda Lexie had told her to take out. “That was a while ago now,” Jo spoke, treading carefully. She did not want to get into this conversation again, not with Lexie’s family. “I thought it was about time to move on.”

“Still,” Susan hummed, pouring some macaroni salad into a glass bowl as she glanced over at Jo with a wry smile. “You two were preparing to move in together, it was all a bit abrupt wasn’t it, Lex?” She raises her eyebrows up at her daughter but doesn’t wait for her to respond, “you two breaking up seemed so out of the blue, he was lovely … so muscular and very handsome.” She mused out loud.

“I promise you, Susan” Jo spoke up with a slight chuckle as she picked up the two bottles of Coke and two Sprite. “It was not as abrupt as it seemed, we weren’t meant to be.” Jo finishes before shooting Lexie a glare, her apologetic eyes only widened.

Once the table was set, Thatcher sat to Jo’s right and Alex to her left with Jackson and Lexie across from her on the six-person table. But before they could dig in, Thatcher announced they had to say grace and Jo’s one hand grasped his while the other held onto Alex’s. And while everyone closed their eyes and bowed their heads as Thatcher prayed, Jo couldn’t help but glance over at Alex, gaze going from his hand that was holding hers, warm and comforting, before wandering up to his face.  

His dark hair was pushed back, full lips pressed together, and eyes closed. Jo bit the inside of her cheek, unable to tear her gaze away from his profile as the muscle in his jaw instinctively jumped every now and then. Something stirred in the pit of Jo’s stomach as she looked at Alex, something exciting that made ever her heart feel like it was jumping within her chest. It didn’t help that his hand holding hers felt so nice and surprisingly soft, grip comforting.

“Amen,” Thatcher finally finished, causing Jo to blink back into reality—had she really just sat there admiring Alex’s looks?—as everyone repeated the sentiment and released each other’s hands, hadn’t she got used to the man who sat next to her yet. Jo ignored the pang of longing she instinctively felt as her hand let go of Alex’s, swallowing inaudibly as they began digging in. What the hell was up with her and all these reactions towards Alex?

The first few moments of dinner were a comfortable silence, utensils clinking and bottles of sodas hissing open, as they ate. Though the silence didn’t last long because after taking a sip of Coke, Thatcher asked, “How is your mother, Jackson?”

He absently nodded, swallowing a forkful of macaroni salad before answering noncommittally before frowning—he hadn’t realised that Lexie’s father knew of his mother, “She’s good.”

“I met her a while back, at the hospital,” Thatcher filled the younger man in, seeing him confused, before his eyes returned back to his plate as she gathered up some pasta and cleared her throat. “Alex mentioned the bar earlier, I guess that means you’re still working there.”

Biting her tongue, Jo’s gaze remained on Thatcher as she felt her stomach drop slightly. When she wasn’t looking for a new job, she was trying to avoid thinking about the fact that she had no job. She lived paycheck to paycheck, now losing her only source of income she was really worried what will happen once rent was due next month, sure Lexie would offer to help—even Jackson mentioned paying towards the bill now he was there more often than not, but it wasn’t just rent. It was gas and groceries and schoolbooks and everything else, she couldn’t rely on anyone for that. She never had.

Swallowing a sip of her Sprite, Jo answered, “Yeah; actually, I quit. I’m looking for a new job, there isn’t much going right now, though.”

Her truthful words made Thatcher’s face contort slightly in concern as Susan hid his own expression by taking another sip of his drink. He never approved of Jo working such a provocative job, as he had put it, with a bunch of leery men surrounding her. Whilst they seemed concerned, they were probably glad that this meant that Lexie would no longer be spending so much time at the dive. The thought makes Jo want to scoff, Lexie was always the first at the bar and almost always the last to leave. She jumped at the chance to join Alex and Jo at Joe’s bar just a few days after Jo had stormed out of their old regular.

Chancing a glance at Alex, Jo noticed the slight furrow in his eyebrows, brown eyes flickering between Lexie’s parents. Then he swallowed and looked over at Jo, raised eyebrows silently asking if she was feeling okay and Jo reluctantly nodded with pursed lips, watching as a look of concern also washed over Alex’s features as he returned his attention back to his food.

“You need to be careful,” Thatcher was saying, making Jo look at him in mild confusion as she shot him a pointed look. “Heaven knows what kind of stuff goes down in dives like the last place.”

Like what Alex and Jo themselves had done? Although Thatcher didn’t realise, he was talking about all four young people who sat at this table. Jackson and Lexie weren’t so innocent either. Jo’s grip on her fork tightened, shoulders tensing because since she knew Thatcher, she knew he was insinuating her job wasn’t acceptable—or wouldn’t be acceptable for his Lexie. “It was just temporary, soon you’ll be seeing me in scrubs rather than a pinafore,” she shot back, unable to keep the edge from her tone as Lexie’s mother raised an eyebrow at her from the across the table.

Jo’s jaw tightened as she returned her gaze to her plate with a small shake of her head, tensing up ever so slightly when she felt something on her left thigh. Discreetly glancing down, she caught sight of Alex’s hand laying a comforting touch, gaze flickering to his eyes as her breath hitched in her throat to see him already looking at her. Alex’s expression was cool, calming as he willed her to relax with a squeeze on her thigh, while she tried to ignore the heat that was once again sparking in her skin under his touch through the cotton fabric of her pants. Since when did Alex’s touch set fire through her skin? Always.

Fortunate thinking on his part, Jackson changed the topic of conversation when he asked, “So, Alex, you’re an intern at Seattle Grace, right?” Alex blinked slightly, not expecting to be addressed before nodding and Jackson asked with an almost teasing smile, “If everything goes to plan, you guys will be working together in the fall. Their superior, actually.” He gestures to the three of them with a head nod.

“Uh,” she dumbly sounded, mentally cursing herself for looking so lost. Of course, if they weren’t talking about her job, they were suddenly on the topic of her nonexistent relationship with Alex. Although she knows Jackson was now teasing, but she makes a mental note to bring this up once they’re back home. Couldn’t they discuss something that didn’t make her blood boil with irritation or face heat up embarrassingly at a lie? “Well, I mean,” Jo stumbled, throwing Alex a startled glance as he squeezed her thigh. He needed to stop doing that—it was more distracting than anything else. “Alex will only be a resident, erm, we’ll probably just …"

“I think we’re both mature enough to separate work from our relationship, right babe?” Alex smoothly added with a deep chuckle and Jo wished her chest didn’t tighten at the term of endearment that easily slipped past his mouth. It definitely wasn’t the first time he’s called her that—he addressed her as babe quite often actually—but it was the first time Jo felt something far more than just fondness for her friend following the use of it. The kind where she wanted him to call her that again. “We’ll just have to make sure we keep our hands off one another.”

Jo’s eyes widened at his joke, heat rising to her cheeks once again. Glancing over to Lexie, Jo could tell that her friend was having a great time—laughing at Jo’s predicament. “Well,” Thatcher clears his throat, also taken back by the comment, “patients should always come first.” Thatcher conversationally asked, putting some more rigatoni on his plate.

Before Jo could answer, Alex piped up, “that’s true, yeah.” Jo looked at him, eyebrows raising ever so slightly at him taking over, but he kept his gaze on the adults at the table. “But this is still new, and Jo and I can’t stay away from one another.” He says confidently, before shooting Jo a crooked smirk, joining in on the teasing. She decided then and there, she hated them all.

“Though…” Alex trailed off, his brown eyes meeting her dark eyes as she watched silently, taking in the curve of his lips and the hint of a dimple flashing in his cheek. Suddenly Jo felt all the air being rushed out of her lungs, very aware of the subtle way his hand was rubbing her thigh under the table—the others couldn’t see that, so was this him playing his role of her boyfriend really well or just him trying to make her cheeks a brighter shade of red? Coolly, Alex finished, “Nothing really beats bein’ able to see her in person. Best part of my day when I do, so I’m looking forward to the possibility of working together.”

Jo’s throat was dry as she swallowed inaudibly, unable to tear her gaze away from his intense stare as he smiled that boyish half smile that picked up the pace of Jo’s heart. What the hell was going on? She was painstakingly aware of how her mind and body was reacting to what Alex was doing, what he was saying, and it bewildered the hell out of her because that’s just never happened—especially not with Alex. That only happens when Jo’s around boys she knows she likes and she couldn’t possibly like Alex like that. Could she?

She explicitly told herself and all those around her—she did not like him. They were friends with benefits, that was it. She had told him she wanted nothing more. She didn’t want feelings and all the crap that came along with them.

Jo inhaled sharply as Alex leaned back in his chair, hand leaving her thigh as he smiled at Lexie and Susan, who Jo could tell thought his response was utterly sweet—Lexie's face finally void of giggles. She, on the other hand, was left staring at Alex in startled awe because he was playing the role of her fake boyfriend a little too tell, and it caused for an unexpectedly thrilling twist in her stomach. Taking a long sip of her soda, Jo mentally willed for her heart to calm the fuck down, while also wishing Alex would stop smiling at her like she hung the damn moon.

[yourstrulytrinaextras]

Third Time’s The Charm: Best Man and Maid of Honor

“And when will it be your turn Zoey?” a few of Avery’s aunts teased the bride’s blonde best friend. Like always, Zoey took it in stride and flashed them a polite smile.

It was exhausting.

“When I meet the right person,” she replied easily, “I’m still waiting for the Leon to my Avery.”

A round of laughter erupted the small circle and Zoey held back from releasing a sigh, hiding her disdain behind her champagne glass as she took a sip. Don’t get her wrong, she was beyond happy for Avery and every moment watching her best friend fall in love with Leon had been nothing short of a great memory.

But she was admittedly jealous. No, not because she wanted Leon, but because she also wanted to fall in love and have that special person by her side. Her love life, in the simplest of terms, had been absolute shit.

Men would always approach her and she hated those leering looks. The one guy she genuinely liked, Christian, turned out to be an asshole. It was a miracle that she managed to salvage her friendship with Lauren, although it became a little awkward between them.

Should’ve listened to Avery when she said that he wasn’t good for me.

Right, her best friend was the one more experienced with love between them. She was one of those girls that constantly had boys chasing her, but she was oblivious to them most of the time.

Mostly because she had tunnel vision for the guy she liked.

She was loyal to Leon, even when they were apart for college. Zoey had lost count how many times she complained that some guy was hitting on her even after she told them that she had a boyfriend. Other times, she was oblivious that someone was already making moves on her. Her popularity surged a number of arguments between Leon and her.

Because even though Leon was handsome and had a lot going for him, he used his cold personality to shake off anyone who might be interested.

But Avery wasn’t like that.

She was warm, kind, and very welcoming. If you add that to her beauty, it would be understandable that it was easy to fall for her.

Perfect Avery.

And Zoey was so proud that her best friend was so admired, even if she felt left out at times.

Although she would have loved it if her aunts didn’t bombard her about the fact that she was single. With another internal sigh, Zoey hatched her escape plan, “I think the alcohol is getting to me. Mind if I step out a bit for some fresh air?”

Nobody opposed and she swiftly made her way out towards the back garden as elegantly as she possibly could. She had been busy during the weeks leading up to the wedding as the maid of honor, she would now use the remaining time of the rehearsal dinner to relax.

Once the outside air reached her skin, she finally felt like she could breathe. They’ve decided on a venue away from the main city and it was nothing short of gorgeous. Leon’s parents didn’t spare any expense for their only son and future daughter-in-law’s wedding.

Avy really did choose the best one.

Leon had many admirable traits, but the thing that she liked the most about him was how he treated her best friend. Sure, there were arguments here and there but that was normal for any couple. At the very end of the day, he was always attentive and loving. He made sure that Avery knew that he was hers.

Just as she repeatedly assured him that she was his.

“Zoey?” she heard someone call her name and she internally cursed. It was either one of the older relatives who would badger her on her relationship status or it was one of the men daring enough to hit on her.

But when she whipped around, she was instantly relieved at the man standing in front of her.

“Patrick,” she let out a smile, glad that it was someone she knew, “Are you also here to escape?”

Patrick Vincent was the groom’s best man. If she was being honest, a bulk of what she knew about him was from the past months they’ve been talking in order to help their best friends plan the wedding. Since he was the best man and she was the maid of honor, they spent ample of time together.

Whether it was accompanying Leon and Avery with choosing their reception menu or diligently sending off the invitations, they were together.

“If I get asked one more time when it’s my turn to get married, I might explode,” he chuckled, nervously eyeing the door as if another relative would jump out and ask him again.

“Seems like we’re in the same position,” Zoey laughed, “So shall we make a run for it?”

“What?”

She pointed beyond the parts of the garden that was visible, “There’s an area where garden chairs and tables are set up, I saw them when I was wandering around during daytime. Nobody will bother us if we’re there.”

A grin immediately found its way onto his face, “Lead the way!”

She walked ahead with him a few steps back, watching as her blonde hair swayed and the skirt of her dress moved with every step.

Beautiful.

He was admittedly attracted to her from the first time he saw her – that moment in the café. Avery, who had just rejected him, was sitting there on a table with a friend that had her back turned to him and Leon. Patrick saw the small pink hue tinting Leon’s cheeks as he looked at their brunette classmate.

Patrick figured it out before that Leon liked her and in fact, he felt guilty that he was openly displaying his affections in front of him. But when he realized it, and also that Avery might have felt the same way, the rejection became easier to accept.

Because at the end of the day, both Avery and Leon were his friends. Even though he was crossed out of the picture, he learned how to be happy for them.

He knew that Leon was too bashful to call her attention, so he took it upon himself to do it, “Avery?”

Just to save his best friend the embarrassment, he chose to ignore the small smile that appeared on Leon’s face when Avery acknowledged them and subtly gestured for them to go to their table.

“Hey fancy seeing you here,” Patrick greeted in an attempt to be casual.

“Pat, this is Zoey,” Avery said, gesturing to her friend, “Zoey, this is Pat.”

And that was the first ever time that Patrick laid his eyes on the woman who would soon turn to be his longest standing crush.

He was, to cut it short, smitten by her at first sight.

She captured him, she had his every single ounce of attention. At that very moment, the bustling café turned quiet and everything ceased to exist. All he could see was her – the way her lips curved up into a smile, the way her delicate fingers released the fork she was holding, the way her blue eyes became more prominent under the café’s lighting.

She was beautiful and that was the moment he knew that he was fucked.

“See?”

His dwelling on the past was cut short when he realized that they finally stopped. Zoey was gesturing grandly to the small chairs and tables, waiting for his reaction.

He plastered a smile and pulled out one of the chairs, bowing his head playfully, “Have a seat, milady.”

Her tinkering laughter entered his ears as she lowered to the seat, causing him to blush. He was glad that it was still rather dark even with the few garden lights so it wasn’t obvious.

Zoey finally released a sigh after masking her exasperation since the day started. Dealing with nosey people left and right was exhausting, she was glad that she could at least be herself even for a few moments.

Because Patrick was someone she grew to be comfortable with.

And a small fact that she desperately hid from Avery – she had a crush on him.

She didn’t know when it started but she found herself staring at him when she thought that no one was looking, she got all giddy if she heard from Avery that he would be accompanying them, she looked forward to the small moments that they were alone.

She started looking forward to seeing him.

He was a very sweet guy and treated everyone around him well. Leon was never short of praises for him and even Avery shared the same sentiment. She always said that she loved Patrick, as a friend of course, and always went on of how good of a person he was.

And he treated Zoey with nothing but respect, he never tried to test his boundaries.

Zoey, no matter how dense she was when it came to dealing with the opposite sex, figured out long ago that he liked her. He was so obvious with the way he constantly blushed and stuttered whenever they were talking. However, she was still stuck on her crush on Christian back then so she chose to pretend that she didn’t know.

Then years passed by and their interactions were limited to when Avery and Leon were there.

But when they started becoming close because of all the wedding prep, it was her turn to become a mess in front of him. It was a good thing she knew how to handle her emotions well so she was always composed around him, but if he only knew what was going on inside her head whenever she was in his presence.

She wanted to be with him.

And she prayed with all her might that he would ask her out. She wasn’t sure anymore what he felt – mostly because Patrick also learned how to control his emotions so now he was composed in front of her.

But the wedding was tomorrow and after that, they would no longer have any reason to be alone together.

As much as she wanted to be with him, she was afraid to make the first move. She was highly inexperienced with relationships and again, she was unsure how he felt towards her.

Was she simply his best friend’s wife’s best friend?

“I can’t believe they’re getting married tomorrow,” Patrick said, tilting his head back to look at the sky, “Seems like yesterday when Leon was throwing a hissy fit because Avery called him a pet name.”

“Wait, that happened?” she gasped. If Avery didn’t tell her that then it meant that it was a minute detail, so insignificant that it probably didn’t matter much.

But she was still excited to learn a new piece of information. She admitted that she was slightly upset that there were things she wasn’t aware of that others were, but it was understandable since they did go to different high schools.

“Yeah, it was the first time Avery called Leon angel,” he laughed lightly at the memory, “He was against it, but he was already weak to Avery’s whims even before they got together so he just allowed her.”

“It would have been so fun to watch them get together,” she hummed wistfully, causing Patrick to look at her. She had this small sad smile on her face, her eyes pointed towards his direction but her gaze went past him, “I’ve known Avery the longest but since we went to different schools, it felt like we both missed out on huge chunks of each other’s lives.”

She was also jealous of how easy it was for Avery to get along with people. She was definitely the more sociable one of the two and making friends was like breathing air for her. Zoey, even though she acted forward at times, was still rather shy compared to her. And even if she gained a friend, she would have a tough time deepening their friendship to the point that they would hang out beyond school days.

Lauren was the exception and she was so happy that she met her, but because of her fleeting relationship with her brother, that turned into dust.

“You know, Leon once told me that he thought he was the second fiddle,” Patrick spoke with a small hint of amusement, trying to get her attention away from her musings, “Because Avery always ran to you first before him. Whether it was good news or bad, you are the first person she would call.”

Funny, Avy said the same thing about Patrick and Leon’s friendship.

“Don’t stress yourself out too much that you never witnessed those moments, because you know more about Avery than anyone else,” he assured with a smile, “Even after your speech earlier, she called you her sister in front of all the guests. She loves you a lot.”

She knew already of everything he told her because she always felt so secure of her friendship with Avery. But to still hear it out loud brought a sense of warmth to her and it enveloped her being, stripping her away from her brief moment of sadness.

Oh no, I really do like him.

As if her first realization of her feelings weren’t enough, now she just had to remind herself all over again. Now it was her turn to blush and she internally cursed – it was his fault for being so kind and charming.

But Patrick, who had his gaze fixated on her face watched as her eyes widened and the skin on her cheeks to the tip of ears turned pink. He was sure that it wasn’t the make-up she was wearing.

It was his turn to be flustered.

No matter how much he liked her, he didn’t dare to get his hopes up. This was Zoey he was talking about, she was practically perfect in every way. No matter how confident he was in flirting with other girls, he was never sure with her.

No, she just might be touched because of what I said about Avery.

So he took a deep breath, willing his nerves to calm down before pushing himself up to his feet, “I think we should go back now. The maid of honor and best man shouldn’t be away too long.”

Right now, she really did hope that she had Avery’s bravery when it came to the guy she liked.

She remembered that Avery was the first one to approach Leon when she asked for his number. Zoey was envious how forward she could be.

“Just one time,” she whispered to herself, “You can do it just one time.”

Her hushed voice still caught his ears, causing him turn back to her, “What did you say?”

Her hands balled up her skirt momentarily, trying to pull out any guts she had in her, before standing up with this look of pure determination. She stared at him in the eyes, her face probably beet red at this point, “Please go out with me.”

And that one sentence somehow exhausted her because she collapsed back onto her seat, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She had eyes trained on the hands on her lap because she felt like if she looked at him, she would faint.

He was silent.

Is this the part where I wave it off as a joke?

But then she heard movements and suddenly, she saw his feet right in front of her. She gathered whatever bravery she had left and lifted her gaze to meet his.

Shock, confusion, and pure unadulterated happiness.

“Don’t say it’s a joke,” he muttered, his knees bending so he could bring their faces closer, “Please, for the love of all things good in the world, don’t say it’s a joke.”

Zoey was mesmerized to see him this close and even if she was still a ball of anxiety, she didn’t move away. Instead, she dared to lift a hand and softly grazed his cheek, “I’m not joking.”

Without a moment too soon, he gently brushed his lips against her, testing the waters. She was taken aback at first, but she ached for more of that tingling sensation.

So she wounded her arms around his neck to pull him down to her and captured his lips. For him, it felt like years of tension melted away with the kiss and a wave of relief hit him. The girl he admired since high school liked him.

And for her, it was hope. She felt it in her that he was the one who would treat her well, that he wouldn’t hurt her. All those years of staying single, of those laps of heartbreak, were just a build up to this very moment.

He placed his hands on her waist and tugged her up to a standing position so it would be less comfortable for him. They briefly pulled away and when they caught each other’s eyes, they exchanged a small laugh before resuming their kiss.

Everything felt so right, like even the universe was waiting for this very moment.

Unknown to them, there was another pair hidden behind the tall hedges nearby, grinning ear to ear at them.

Avery and Leon started to get concerned when neither the best man nor the maid of honor was anywhere to be seen inside the venue. So they went around to look, holding back their gasps when they saw the two in a lip lock.

“Finally,” they whispered at the same time, causing them to rip their gaze away from the newly formed couple in order to look at each other. They laughed quietly at this as they slowly stepped away.

They were truly soulmates.

“Come on, we have to walk the aisle tomorrow,” Avery grinned, taking his hand and leading him back into the building, “My dear husband.”

“Yes, my dear wife,” Leon chuckled as a response, falling into step next to her.

Side by side, as the universe meant it to be.

[unnecessarywriting]

Hi! Can you write something where the reader is an ex-Winter soldier just like Bucky and has beed lying low for a while, but Sam and Bucky need her help for a mission so they look for her and she is kind of reluctant to work with them? Bucky doesn't know about her, so it's a bit of a surprise for him to know that there is someone out there who knows exacly how he feels... Thanks xx

Of Course, I Know - Bucky Barnes

A/N: Sorry this took so long. Social distancing is really starting to get to me, but I am getting back into a good mindset! I hope I did a good job?!?!?!

The fall of Hydra was both the best thing, but it also caused plenty of suffering. Of course, hundreds of people were injured in the fall of DC, but you also suffered. Sure, life was pretty unlivable in Hydra, but then you weren’t the target. You killed your targets, and you did it well. 

It’s been a while since the fall of Hydra. You were a part of their Winter Soldier initiative, however, when they froze the rest of them, you were still in constant use. It was no surprise to you that all of the others were dead, but you refused to go and search for the last one. The original winter soldier was no stranger to you, but he never saw you. Your job was to stay hidden. If people saw you, they died. No one knew of your existence until the Black Widow released all of the encrypted Hydra files. It didn’t take long for some of the best hackers to learn of your existence. Soon enough, some people with Nick Fury tracked you down. Luckily, they agreed that you were no longer a threat to humanity, so they let you alone, but they kept their tabs on you for security purposes. 

You knew the struggles the Winter Soldier had been through, and the way others looked at him. You refused to become just another exhibit for people to watch and mock you. So, you chose to lay low. For years, you stayed in a small city in some country that no one cared about. The only time you left your small home was to buy the things you needed or to get lost out in the wilderness. 

Your nights were plagued with nightmares of your victims. Their tears were forced to spill out of your own eyes, and their screams were disguised as your own. It was the price to pay for living that life. Other nights, you reminisced on the torture Hydra put you through in order to make you compliant. Ultimately, you never did get a lot of sleep.

After the bombing at the UN, you knew that one of two things happened. First, the winter soldier was framed for the murder. Second, someone got their hands on his book. The book about the winter soldiers had details of everyone in the program. Everyone except for you. You were a different breed almost, and no one knew about you except for the scientists, abusers and whoever could decrypt the file, but you spent too much time hiding all of the information about you. After all of the others were killed in Russia, the avengers, or rather Steve and his band of criminals, took it upon themselves to find others like you. For security purposes. Eventually, you were located.

To say that you were shocked when Captain America and the Falcon were standing in your home when you got back from your hike was an understatement.

“Excuse me, but do you mind telling me what in the hell you are doing in my home?”

“Y/N, right?”

You stayed silent and moved around them, taking every sound in.

“You know you are the only one still around right?”

Silence. 

“We know how to get you help. There is a way to remove all of what hydra did to you. You can live a normal life.” 

“I think you should leave.” That was all you said before leaving the room. You weren’t like him. You didn’t have trigger words or a book. The only way to bring you back to that submissive state was an implant. You removed it after Hydra fell. 

A couple of hours later, the men were still in your home.

“I have nothing for you and you have nothing for me. Leave.” You opened the door to them.

“Listen, Y/N. We want to help you, but mostly we want to protect the people here, and you are a threat.” You laughed at that.

“If anything, Captain, you’re a criminal who has trespassed into my home. The only threat in this room is you, and I will happily inform your friends about your whereabouts. For the record, Hydra has no control over me. Now, get out before I make you leave.”

With that threat, they left. The only thing that must’ve mattered was the lack of control anyone had on you.

----

Years have passed since the incident with the Captain. Sure, five of them you were lost in the dust with half of the population, but you were certain that everyone had forgotten about your existence. That was until a knock on your door interrupted your cooking.

You opened the door cautiously.

“Y/N, it has been a while.”

“Ah, the bird-boy has returned. Where’s the annoying Captain?”

He looked down at his feet briefly. You knew what that meant.

“What do you want?” You changed the topic quickly.

“We need your help on a mission.”

“We?” He directed your attention to his companion. The Winter Soldier.

“This is Sergeant-”

“James Buchanan Barnes. I know. Listen, whatever you need help with, that is your problem. Not mine.” You started to close the door, but a boot shoved its way in.

“Just hear us out.” You knew there was no way they were going to take no as an answer.

“Fine. Do you want anything to drink?”

“Water is fine,” Sam responded.

“Okay, take a seat over there.”

You walked into the kitchen.

--

“Sam, how does she know me?”

“Listen, Buck, there’s a lot you don’t know. She’s kinda the only other soldier out there.

“You want someone like me on this mission?”

“She’s the only one who knows Hydra as well as you, but she may know even more. We need her help.”

“Why didn’t I know about her? All of the other soldiers were killed years ago. I could account for all of them.”

It was then that you walked back into the room.

“You never officially met me. We are the same, but very different. Now tell me about this mission that I’m not going to help with.”Sam spoke up. “We’re invading a Hydra base. They’re trying to recreate you and him.” He pointed to Bucky.

“Well, that does sound terrible. I hope you can figure it out. Is that all?”

Sam broke out into the details of the mission, but Bucky was too fascinated by you. You looked too delicate to be a soldier like him. There was no way you killed as many people as he has. You could never do anything like that. He tried to think back to the possibility of you existing. In the 50s there was a push to gain female operatives to invade places easier, but he doesn’t remember them ever being successful. 

“...and then you could come back here, or join us if you really wanted.”

“Thanks for the offer you guys, but I am a little busy here. I have my garden, and I need to make sure no one comes here and steals any of my stuff.”

They looked around the room and realized how sarcastic you were being. Eventually, they understood that you weren’t going to budge anytime soon, so they left.

A few hours later, you were reading a book when there was another knock on your door. There he stood. Just like earlier, except he seemed a little more confident.

“I know what is going through your head. All of the Hydra stuff is gone, but you’re not sure if everything you did was all Hydra.” You looked away shamefully. No one should know what you’re going through.“The nightmares get me too. I had Steve to help, but he is no longer there. I bet you still hear the screams and see all of the faces.”“If therapy is what you’re after, then you should leave now.”

“I’m here to ask for your help. If they really are making new soldiers, Sam won’t be able to fight against them. He may have the shield, but he doesn’t have the strength to beat them. If anything, he may be able to take down one or two, but we don’t know what’s going on there. Help me do this. Then you will never have to work with us again.”

“I didn’t take you as the talkative type.”

“I’m not.”

“Come in.”

“Is this you saying yes?”“It’s me saying that your bird friend really needs to work on how to make plans. Come on Bucky, you know Hydra. Don’t you know that his plan will get him killed?”“Of course I know. I told him otherwise, but he wouldn’t listen.”

You laughed and started planning out your method of attack.

Bucky stared at you. He was in complete awe. You definitely were not Steve, but you understood him in a way that no one else could. His mission for this raid would be to convince you to stick around. It would be good to have someone like you in his life, plus you were a nice sight to look at. He could get used to being around you.

A/N: So I’m thinking about adding more to this idea. Should I do a part 2?

[rinusagitora]

The gray comes with you.

Fandom: BLEACH

Characters: Toushirou Hitsugaya, Rangiku Matsumoto

Pairings: HitsuKarin

Words: 1.4k

Summary: Alternate Universe. Ghost!AU. Chapter 1/?, updated on Sundays. WARNINGS- explicit violence;  Toushirou Hitsugaya hasn't lived an easy life. High school is no easier, as Toushirou is being hunted by violent bullies.

AO3

The screech of his alarm clock would open his funeral.

He groaned as he blindly ran a hand over his nightstand in search of his cell. As soon as he was upright, he felt the charge accumulated over his nine hour slumber slough off like water down the drain. It never ceased to amaze him how he stayed on his feet every morning when he was overcome by such a spell.

He opened his music app, played an upbeat pop album to hopefully wake him and cure the dread he woke with every morning with its contagious energy, and then bravely exited the confines of his bedroom.

His home was eerily empty. Momo began to leave earlier and earlier over the course of the last few weeks. She wasn’t home much, but when she was, she locked herself in her room until she left again in the early hours of the morning. His grandmother was a busy editor despite her age. That was alright, of course, but the house was made of early birds and it was surreal when not a thing stirred, like he didn’t belong.

He brushed his teeth, combed his air, quickly tired of his stupid music and tried to find something with more interesting sound, and he left home with a warm Hot Pocket in hand and a creepy podcast in his earbuds. His podcasts were like his friends, the only ones who spoke to him outside of what school required. And he didn’t mind it. Podcasts were only corny, they never made him limp.

The same couldn’t be said for his classmates.

Every morning, when the clock on the face of his school’s exterior appeared over the houses, he felt nauseous. His head turned side to side to scan for company.

The reason he lived most of his academic experience alone was his appearance. His hair was pale, his eyes were unearthly blue-green. The only thing that looked normal about him was his tan. Otherwise, he looked like a wraith. His classmates were unanimously suspicious of him. When he wasn’t ostracized, he wasn’t just picked on, he was often left injured.

He wondered if the omen was the misery it would cause his childhood, or something more sinister he was blind to.

“Hey, Freak-tsugaya!”

His concern was in the present.

He broke into a run for the school entrance. Bazzard and Cang Du, though meatheads, were expert predators. And he was prey, he had little option aside from running.

He rushed through the open front doors and ran head-first into Cang Du’s elbow. He heard the collision, he dropped like a brick to the floor, and stars exploded in his vision as his head landed on the hard tile. 

“Don’t you know to answer when I’m trynna talk to you, freak?” Bazzard asked as he writhed. “Where’ve your manners gone? Do we needa teach you some?”

His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as Bazzard raised his fist. He rolled onto his hands and pushed himself up. Cang Du grabbed him by his neck. He was slammed into the shoe lockers four times. Pain did not capture how it felt: like he was beat against a curb corner instead of thin metal. He spat in Cang Du's eye and kicked him in the groin. Cang Du doubled over with a quiet grunt. When he turned to run, Bazzard grabbed him by his white hair and yanked him to the ground again. His face was stomped on. Blood flooded his mouth, he turned onto his side and spat out his front teeth and blood and mucus.

“What the hell are you sons of bitches doing!?”

Laughter followed in the wake of Bazzard and Cang Du. He cracked his eyes open to meet Rangiku’s grimace.

“Oh geez, they did quite a number on you,” Rangiku winced. She pulled him onto his feet and held him up by his waist. “Kotetsu-san is in today. Let’s get you patched up, kid. You poor bastard.”

He grasped Rangiku’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he told her.

“Me too,” Rangiku replied. “I think you lost some teeth.”

“They’re back there,” he said. “Those two are getting ballsier. I haven’t had any teeth knocked out before.” His tongue ran over the holes in his gums and the cut over his lip. He hoped he didn’t need stitches. He knew better than to hold his breath, though.

“Hitsugaya-kun, we should go to the police. They’re getting out of hand. I won’t be able to swoop in to save you someday, and that may be the day they end up maiming you. Or worse,” Rangiku warned him.

He would have frowned if his face didn’t ache so. He was already such a lonesome boy, Momo and his grandmother knew that. They had their own lives to grapple with and he knew his tribulations only put more stress on them. He couldn’t continue to tax them anymore. “Investigations are lengthy,” he lied, “I understand what you’re telling me, but I can’t do that to my family, Matsumoto.”

Rangiku frowned but said nothing more. He sat on a plastic chair upon entrance into the nurse’s office. The head nurse cursed as she turned around to greet them. He was passed a washrag to catch the blood that poured off his chin onto his top. His uniform was beyond salvaging by that time.

“Can I get a new shirt? I can’t go to class like this,” he asked. 

“You want a new shirt? Hitsugaya-kun, you should be going to the hospital. You need stitches!” Isane scoffed.

“I know you’re trained to handle minor injuries, Kotetsu. Let’s not make a big deal out of this. I just tripped.”

“And got cut that bad?” Isane retorted.

“Shit, I’m not exactly a tumbler.”

Isane’s eyes rolled. “Watch your language. I’ll wash your mouth out with chili peppers.”

“Now you’re only giving me incentive to act even more improper. Momo used to make the best stuffed chili peppers.” He missed his sister’s cooking…. “A-anyways, I would appreciate it if you stitched me up. I’ve got a quiz this morning I can’t miss.” 

“Alright, but I won’t like it.” Isane said. He watched as she prepped topical sanitation and sutures. Rangiku returned with a new shirt for him. He unbuttoned his soiled top and handed it to Rangiku in a bunch. He still oozed blood from the cut across his lips, so he chose to remain topless until he was sewn shut. At least his uniform slacks were a void for stains.

“I hope your sister’s doing well,” Isane said. “The last we met she was acting strangely. She was skittish, and she kept giving me different explanations for her black eye. Do you know anything, Hitsugaya-kun?”

He shook his head. He couldn’t figure out why Isane tried to carry on a conversation when he couldn’t move his face, but he would just be thankful someone took notice of his sister’s behavior too.

Isane made quick work of his face. It wasn’t pretty, but it was functional.

“Take an ibuprofen as prescribed on the bottle, clean the seams with isopropyl alcohol. See me again in about a month and a half so I can take those out. And don’t pick at them,” Isane instructed as he licked up the seam on the inside of his lip.

He thanked Isane and then he buttoned up his borrowed shirt. It was enormous on his tiny frame, but it was worn and comfortable so he supposed it didn’t matter.

“There’s an assembly this morning, Hitsugaya,” Rangiku told him as they left the nurse’s office. “Take a wild guess what it’s about.”

“Bullying again?”

“Bullseye,” she replied. The irony didn’t escape him. “You can crash in the faculty room until classes start.”

“I’m surprised the headmaster thinks it’ll do anything,” he snorted. “Who am I kidding? I’m totally unsurprised by bureaucracy’s naive belief that team spirit and making victims shake hands with their victimizers will fix everything. What a bunch of soft bastards.”

Rangiku smiled sympathetically. “My thoughts exactly. You poor thing.”

He sat on the couch in the staff lounge alone. Rangiku had to supervise the hallways, and that was fine by him. He only realized how exhausted he was when he sunk into the gaudy-patterned cushions. He was too tired to occupy his time with mobile games or homework or even his thoughts. He was sore, he felt like he decayed in that place, like his flesh melted off his bones and his juices seeped into the floor. High school was built to enable the strong and murder the weak. He couldn’t tell who he hated more: the entire establishment, or his feeble self.

Later he peeled himself from the couch and made it to class without any fuss from his schoolmates. He lamely stared at the zigzagged hairline of the girl in front of him until homeroom began. He hoped his lumps wouldn’t interfere with his notes….

[mbakuetshurisprincess]

Destiny Series

AN: Yall... I’m soo shocked how quickly yall are fucking with that mood board like actually soo shocked. I was going to do Egyptian gods cause when I was younger I read the Kane Chronicles and I fell in love with Egyptian mythology and their gods BUT I feel like more people know Greek gods and it’s easier to like deal with Greek gods family tree vs Egyptian because whew chileeee that would of been a mess. BIG BIG BIG ups to @chaneajoyyy​ for a. proofreading and catching the little errors and for supporting me. 

Summary: On May 14th a god or goddess picks someone to take their place in the following years, when T’challa invites everyone in your graduating class to his house for a Chaining day party chaos ensues and relationships get tested.

Pairing: Erik x reader

Warnings: cussing, light smut like literally  I don’t wanna call it smut because it’s so light. 

Word count: 2,111

It was May 14th and the eve of arguably the most important day of your life, chaining day. Chaining day was a right of passage that had been happening since before you or any other Wakandan had been alive, chaining day was the day in which the gods and goddesses came down to earth and selected who was going to fill their position as that specific next god in the next years. Chaining day only occurred once every three generations and it happened that it fell upon you and your peers. You laid on your bedroom floor while your two best friends Makyla and Aaron sat across from you in bean bag chairs.

“I just don’t get why you're not excited Y/N” Makyla said nonchalantly, “I can’t wait to figure out which god chose me! I hope it someone like Hera or Aphrodite. They would suit me don’t you think?” 

“Your annoying ass deserves Hestia” Aaron mumbled under his breath earning him a firm slap on his arm.

You sat up from your floor and took a slow breath in and exhaled. “I just don’t get why it falls onto US, like why can’t the gods choose someone who wants to be a god not a normal person who just wants to live and die and get this shit over with.”

Aaron rolled his eyes “You're just worried that you and Erik’s gods won’t be together and some other girl will have him”

“HA” you laughed out sarcastically “That punk ass nigga can get whatever trick ass whore wants him, we are over and I dont give a flying fuck who gets him”

The room got silent because that lie and everyone in the room knew it, you and Erik never went into full relationship territory just comments under each others posts and his constant flirting with you. But it all ended when he posted a photo with a girls arms wrapped around his shoulders and a blunt in his hand and the caption “all the bitches fuckin with me, its like im the god of pussy or sum..” That was the last straw, and you hadn’t actually spoken to him since you’d seen that post go up.

“Can we go now y'all?” Makyla asked “I want to get to T’challa’s party early and get a good spot for chaining time”

“Are you sure we have to go? We could just stay in and watch a movie until chaining time” you lay your head back down onto your plush carpet and squeezed your eyes shut. You heard movement above you and opened to see Aaron and Makyla standing over you an annoyed look on their faces.

“Fine, fine!” you grumbled outstretching one of your hands out signalling for one of them to help you up, Aaron groaned and grabbed your hand pulling you off the ground. You walked over to your closet, you pulled out a pair of light wash ripped jeans, a white cropped t-shirt and a multi colored nike windbreaker. To emphasize the fact that you didn’t want to go you groaned and moaned while putting on your clothes.

“Keep playing Erik’s gonna give you something to moan about” Makyla said under her breath causing Aaron and her to bust out into a fit of laughter, you turned your head to them and gave them a look that shot daggers.

By the time you got to T’challa’s house you were reminded of why you didn't want to go to his chaining day party and your reason was sitting right at the front door like some self righteous bouncer. You thought if you ducked and hid in between Makyla and Aaron he wouldn’t spot you, but of course he did.

“Woah woah woah lil mama where do you think you're going” Erik’s arm had snaked in between your friends and grabbed you out from in between them. You looked up at your friends with pleading eyes practically begging them to help you out which caused Erik to laugh. “Nah nah ma, your friends can’t help you now, you've been ignoring me and I wanna know why.”

You looked around and noticed a few familiar faces, he wanted to embarrass you in front of your friends? And make a lesson out of you for his other bitches, not today.

You looked down at your arm and back up at him “Nigga I don’t owe you shit.” you snateched your arm from his hand and folded them across your exposed midriff.

A chorus of “Ooo’s” erupted from the small crowd that had developed.

Erik smiled and licked his lips “I asked you a question Y/N and I’m telling you to answer it right fucking now before it gets bad for you.”

You cocked your eyebrow up at him, oh so he thought you were playing?

“Nigga I gave you my answer, you don’t need anything else from me. Now excuse me I’ve got a party to attend” You smirked up at him and waved your finger signaling for him to move out of your way. You had him beat, you could practically see the steam coming out of his ears.

“Last chance Y/N before I embarrass you in front of all of these fucking people and I swear to god I will”

You batted your eyes up at Erik innocently and your hands found the collar of his shirt. “Oh no baby boy” you wiped some dust off of his shoulder “I think I just embarrassed you”

You tried to walk away, you had won that fight fair and square and everyone in T’challa’s yard knew it or so you thought. Until you felt strong arms wrap around you calf's and felt you world flip upside down.

“ERIK!” You screamed out hitting his back with an array of punches in varying strengths.

The yard erupted into laughter as Erik walked you through the front door, you caught Makyla’s eye as Erik walked you up the stairs still slung over his shoulder. When he got up to one of the guest bedrooms he plopped you on the bed and locked the door behind himself, when he walked back over to you, you shot him a deathly stare.

“What the fuck was that Y/N?”

“What the hell is posting other bitches Erik? Hmm?” 

You dug your phone out of you pocket and pulled out his instagram, instantly finding the photo you were looking for “all the bitches fuckin with me, its like im the god of pussy or sum.” you mocked his tone.

Erik plopped down on the bed next to you “man this why you been ignorning me for the past two weeks” Erik paused “I thought you had found another nigga ma”

You laid your head back onto the bed and laughed lightly “No Erik I haven’t found another nigga, its just been me sitting around looking stuck waiting for you when you obviously hadn’t been doing the same.”

“It’s not even like that ma, that’s Vannah, you know her and M’baku were going through something and she asked me to take the picture with her and post it to get him mad. They got back together tonight and I was taking it down tomorrow. I can show you the texts to prove it” Erik pulled out his phone and showed you the texts between him and Vannah and her begging and him finally agreeing after she agreed to buy his alcohol for a month.

“Fine I GUESS I’m done being mad at you.” you poked your bottom lip out at him in a mock pout.

“You better stop poking that lip out before I bite it baby girl” Erik rolled you over on top of him forcing you to straddle him,with his hands resting on your ass. “Fuck I can’t wait to tear this shit up ma” his hand smacked your ass roughly “I’ma give you back shots so hard you're gonna feel that shit all week I’m gonna have you-”

Erik was interrupted by counting below you.

“Fuck” you said getting of of his lap “It’s almost time”

 10

“Turn off the lights ma”

9

“Who do you think your gonna get Erik”

8

“I dunno but if I get stuck with some bitch ass mother fucker I’m killing whoever got Zeus”

7

“I want someone calm, someone who does their job and stays out of any drama”

6

“Give me your hands Erik”

5

“I got love for you baby girl, you know that?” Even in the darkness you could see his brown eyes pierce your soul.

4

“Promise to stay friends no matter what happens”

3

“We will stay friends no matter what happens Y/N” he squeezed your hands lightly

2

“I love you Erik Stevens”

1

That was the last thing you remember hearing before a bright white light flashed in front of you, so bright you let go of Erik’s hands to shield your eyes. In a few moments it dimmed.

“My child” a voice called at you

You looked around for the source of the voice and found a strong willow tree waving in the wind, you walked towards it and felt the plush green grass beneath your feet, it felt softer than anything you had ever felt. 

“Sit” the tree told you softly you could make out eyes, nose and mouth in its brown bark.

“Persphone” the words fell out of your mouth without you even knowing they were coming.

She smiled at you transforming before your eyes from a tree into a beautiful black woman, her curves filled out her chiton you noticed her outfit matched yours but she wore it much better.

“Come here” she opened her arm to you and stood up and ran into them burying your face in her chest tears flowing down your face. It didn't hit you until now of her story and what happened, she fell for Hades, a forbidden love and then for the rest of her life spent half of her life with the people she loved and the other half of the year with the man that she hated how much she loved him.

She stroked you curly hair and spoke soothing words to you “I know this is not the outcome you were expecting by I have gifted you a ability”

 You pulled your head off of her and looked up at Persephone tears still threatening to spill out of your eyes. 

“Open your arm”

You obliged her and held your left arm out for her, you noticed a small tattoo outline of a plant.

“Touch it”

You followed her instructions and out of thin air a small plant was in your hand, you immediately recognized it as a venus fly trap similar to the one that grew on your window sill. 

“Anywhere that you walk plants will grow underneath you as long as your on the floor of a building it doesn't matter how many layers on concretes are in between you. Plants will grow” She caressed your cheek in her hand. A gong rang out and you looked up at Persephone, your eyes pleading for some kind of answers or help.

“What am I supposed to do? You have to help me please!” you felt a pulling on your waist as if you were attached to a rope and the other end was pulling you back in.

“Do not fight it Y/N destiny is destiny and you are destined to be with Hades” and with those last words the bright white light flashed again and you covered your eyes. You felt like you were falling but quickly you realized you were back at T'challa's house in the same room that you had been in before with Erik, however he wasn't here now. But when you speak of the devil he shall appear and like clockwork blue flames were produced around a body, you could hear what sounded like a large dog barking and then it all went away, you squeeze your eyes shut not sure what to expect. You heard a familiar chuckle in front of you and you immediately opened your eyes and started at the bottom up. Black tims paired with black jeans and no shirt you studied the person's chest in front of you which now held thousands of tiny scars, a fur coat draped his bare chest his left hand holding a ball of what looked like fire. You finally met his eyes, dark but with a hint of fire in them.

“Wh-who” you barely managed to get it out before a smirk formed across Erik’s face.

“Hades, god of the underworld”

Tag List: @chaneajoyyy @chasingsunlight @writerbee-ffs @dessianna1

[gxrcias-gothgf]

Not Staring, Admiring (Bill Hearst X Reader)

Author's Note: First of all we need more Bill gifs. There's none on here what the hecc. Secondly I'm going to start a tag list so let me know if you want to be added. Lastly I did research for this one and now I'm sad because I found out some things

—

Bill Hearst was definitely a perfect view. Everyone who ever looked at him knew this for a fact. You often found yourself admiring him even though you two were friends. I actually made it easier for you to admire him because you were around each other quite often. 

You two were currently at a bakery getting bread to go with the dinner your families were having together tonight. Even though your father had given you money to pay for the bread, Bill still insisted upon paying. 

“Now that we have the bread shall we go back to your house?” Bill asked as you held onto his arm while exiting the bakery. 

You nodded your head and walked with Bill back to your house, the two of you making small talk. You walked through the front door and you let go of Bill’s arm so you could set the bread in the kitchen. Once you returned to the hallway you and Bill decided to go to the library room. There you could pick out your favorite novels and switch with each other. When Bill handed you his choice for you to read, you looked down to see “Tell-Tale Heart” by Edgar Allan Poe. 

“Nice choice,” you smile at Bill before sitting in one of the seats in the room. 

Bill sat in the seat across from you and opened the book you chose for him to read. You decided that during this quiet time would be a good time to admire the boy without getting caught by someone. You decided that taking a look every once away was the best option so you tried to read for a minute. You slowly averted your eyes up and stared at Bill’s face. You admired him until you noticed you had been staring for a little too long and you looked back down. You continued to read and every so often take a few moments to admire the boy in front of you. 

You had been reading for a few minutes and decided it was a good time to admire Bill again so you looked up. Your face flushed when you realized Bill had been staring at you with a gentle smile on his face. You felt your stomach flutter and look down at your lap. 

“Is there a reason why you’re blushing like that?” Bill asked you as he gently smirked at you, knowing  you were flustered.

“Is there a reason why you’re staring at me like that?” You mocked the boy. 

Bill’s smirk flattered for a moment before returning even bigger than before. From his look alone you knew he found another remark to make and you mentally rolled your eyes. 

“I’m not staring. I’m admiring something beautiful,” he said as he scooted his chair closer in front of you. 

“What’s beautiful?” You questioned as you looked at him quizzically. 

“You are Y/N,” Bill softly smiled before pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. 

You smiled at the boy trying to contain the pink that was trying to make its way to your cheeks. Bill decided that he would continue to place gentle, quick kisses all over your face in an attempt to make you blush again. He succeeded this time as you let out a small laugh and tried to block your face from Bill. 

“Stop hiding your beautiful face,” Bill pouted as he pulled away from your face. 

You shook your head and Bill sighed in fake defeat. 

“I guess I’ll just have to kiss you later then,” Bill said as he leaned back in his seat. 

You immediately uncovered your face and looked at your friend in shock. Bill looked at you and smiled again. 

“There’s the beautiful face,” he said as he leaned closer to you again. 

“Why would you want to kiss me?” You asked in a soft tone still staring at him in confusion. 

Bill furrowed his eyebrows at you and leaned back slightly. His face showed a look of hurt slightly before quickly going away. 

“Oh sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I finally decided I would tell you how I feel and didn’t even think to ask if you felt the same. I’m sorry. I’ll, um, I’ll be with our fathers in the office,” Bill said before rushing out of the library. 

You sat there in your chair, staring at the door that Bill just walked out of. After a few moments you stood from your chair and picked up the two books you both had been reading and walked to the bookshelf. You returned them to their designated spots before walking out of the room and to your bedroom. When you closed the door to your room, you sighed and sat on your bed. You decided to freshen up before dinner within the next half hour. 

Around twenty minutes after you got to your room there was a knock on the door. You opened the door to see Bill standing in front of you awkwardly. 

“Your father asked me to tell you dinner is ready and to bring you to the dining room,” Bill told you as he held out his arm for you. 

You stepped out of the doorway and gently closed the door before holding onto Bill’s arm. The two of you awkwardly and silently made your way to the dining room. You wanted to speak but no words were forming. When you reached the dining table, Bill pulled your chair out for you and pushed it in once you sat down. He sat in the seat next to you as it was the last seat at the table. Bill’s younger brother, Randolph, gave you a knowing look from across the table. 

“How’s business been lately?” Mr. Hearst asked your father as you all started to eat. 

Your father was the head of one of the banks in Manhattan. He owned two buildings and had become quite wealthy. 

“Same as usual. Nothing much has changed,” your father responded before taking a bite of the food on his plate. 

“Y/N I haven’t heard much from you lately. Any fine young men want to court you yet?” Bill’s mother asked you. 

You had just taken a sip of your water before she had started speaking causing you to slightly choke when she brought up the topic of courtship. You had not been expecting that. Of course you’d recently been thinking about it more than you used to. You sometimes thought about what would happen if Bill were to want to court you but you dismissed it thinking he’d never want you like. However after what happened in the library maybe it no longer seemed so far fetched. Bill patted your back gently before you spoke up. 

“No one yet. I’m not really sure it's going to happen,” you told the woman before returning to eating. 

You did not want to be talking about courtship right now during dinner. Or anytime in front of Bill. Well unless he were, oh nevermind Mrs. Hearst is talking again. 

“What do you think about Bill?” Mrs. Hearst asked you before taking a sip of her drink. 

It was Bill who choked on his water this time. You gently patted his back trying to stop him choking too much. He turned red as he looked towards his mother. Before he could protest, Mr. Hearst turned to his wife. 

“Honey not during dinner. He’s embarrassed now,” Mr. Hearst spoke gently to his wife before returning to his food. 

The rest of dinner the parents continued conversation as they normally did while you, Bill, and his little brother sat in silence. Randolph kept looking between you and Bill then giving you knowing glances. You gave him a small look of warning before returning your gaze to your plate. Eventually everyone was finished with dinner and you were all excused from the table. Randolph asked you and Bill to show him the library so that’s where you ended up. 

“I think I’ll like this book,” Randolph said, picking up a large book and walking out of the room. 

Bill and you stood there for a minute in awkward silence. Neither one of you knew what to say but you both knew something needed to be said. 

“I’m very sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have said that because you don’t see me like that and plus we have never mentioned courtship and I’m sorry about my mother,” Bill slightly rambled as he messed with his hands. 

“Bill did you even understand what I asked?” You said as he looked at you. “I just wanted to know why you would want to kiss me of all people.” 

“Because you’re beautiful,” Bill answered quickly with his eyebrows furrowed. “Why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?”

You slightly flushed as he once again complimented you. You thought about his question though. What about what happened earlier showed any sign of him not reciprocating the feelings you had for him. 

“I’m not sure,” you softly responded, looking up at him. 

“Can I kiss you?” Bill whispered as he grabbed one of your hands with his own. 

“Of course.” 

Bill softly pressed his lips to yours. He tried to contain his smile as he slowly pulled away but he couldn’t. He once again started to pepper your face with soft, gentle kisses while you laughed. 

“What are your thoughts on courtship?” Bill asked you as he pulled away from your face. 

“With you? Because that's the only good thought I have on the subject,” you asked with a hopeful gleam in your eyes. 

“Obviously,” Bill chuckled as he pressed another kiss to your forehead. 

“Of course.”