#she says as if making frozen chicken nuggets qualifies as cooking

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

guess who burnt their hand while making chicken nuggets

[vegetalass]

RDR2 Boys Cooking + Eating Habits

Arthur 

Somebody else on here wrote some headcanons about Arthur not being able to cook and just eating microwave food all the time and I just have to say…. That’s canon 

Lowkey though he’s trying his best to get better at cooking

Probably the only thing he knows how to make is pasta 

He adds a bunch of random frozen veggies to water as the noodles are cooking 

And then smothers the whole thing in butter and calls it a meal

Or he puts marinara sauce on it straight from the jar 

And yes, that means it’s cold

He’s also getting better at friend rice, too

But he’s really bad at actually making rice 

If he doesn’t add too much water… He burns the bottom 

Charles makes a mental note to buy him a rice cooker for his birthday 

Makes his own popsicles out of random fruit juices and eats them 24/7 

Thinks this qualifies him as a chef

Eats pickles and olives straight out of the jar with a fork 

And sauerkraut too probably 

Just goes over to john’s house on his pizza nights 

Puts ketchup on eggs

John 

Pizza dad 

Probably orders pizza, salad, and a 64oz soda twice a week 

Everything else is just Dino chicken nuggets, Eggos, hot dogs, quesadillas, and frozen peas and corn 

Food you feed to little kids, basically 

Mostly because he does have a little kid 

But also because it’s easy and takes minimal effort and he doesn’t mind eating it, too

Abigail would be mad but she has no room to talk

The most you’ll see him actually make is buttered pasta (like Arthur) or sometimes beans and rice 

Abigail bought them a rice cooker a while ago so that’s one thing he doesn’t have to worry about 

Probably always has some type of dessert laying around 

Doesn’t mean it’s good, but it’s there 

Abigail buys a bunch of those gross, low calorie ice creams and John ends up having to finishing them 

Family lunches consist of a bologna sandwich on wheat bread with American cheese and mayo, a piece of fruit, a bag of chips or crackers, a go-gurt, and some gummies 

And yes he makes them for himself and Abigail too 

They’re all eating good at the Marston household 

(Not really)

Charles 

Everything he cooks are things that can’t be made in single batches 

Lots of healthy soups, chilis, stew, etc…

Most of the time, he makes too much of whatever it is so he always has leftovers 

Everyone is jealous when he brings them for lunch

Probably finds all of his recipes in the newspaper or random magazines he reads while at the grocery store checkout line

Everyone is like, “Charles… Why are you reading Women’s Fitness?” 

And he’s like, “Check out this salad recipe, though”

Puts hot sauce on everything 

Salad, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers... You name it 

And he’s the king of snacking

All of his snacks are healthy, though

Raw veggies and fruit and quinoa chips from Whole Foods or something like that

Nobody likes this

He’s one of those people who brings hard boiled eggs everywhere as a “snack,” too

And yea, he puts hot sauce on those, also 

He really likes those weird protein bars that are hard to bite into and taste like chalk 

The flavors are either normal stuff like white chocolate macadamia or Protein Power Punch with whey, chia and seaweed 

There’s no in between 

He’s also a charcuterie board legend

Hosea is jealous of this talent

Micah

Spends all his money on take out 

He’s totally one of those weird people who’s entire trash can is just filled with take out boxes and cans of coke or beer

Constantly eating fast food 

You ask him what he bought at the supermarket and he’s like “Pub mix and bud light” 

SIR 

Everything that he does manage to cook only involve one step of preparation 

Unseasoned, fried meats and boiled veggies 

Sometimes scrambled eggs and bacon

If he’s feeling fancy, he will make plain sandwiches

This is very rare, though

Can and will complain about anyone’s cooking

Even if it’s good and he he likes it

There are certain people he can’t do this to, though, or they won’t let him eat

The only person’s cooking he doesn’t complain about is Dutch’s

Constantly snacking from an entire party sized bag of chips

And yes, he eats straight out of the bag and wipes his fingers on his jeans

His oven is dirty

Hosea 

A meal for him is probably a handful of almonds and an applesauce or yogurt cup 

He is constantly making a bunch of those Tik Tok recipes where you just put a bunch of random stuff into your crock pot and add ranch seasoning and cream cheese

*insert all of those memes about mom pulling out the crock pot*

If you complain, he says “Well, you’re always welcome to cook, too”

Wears an apron when he cooks

Constantly eating plain toast with butter

And bananas 

And cheese sticks

Thinks that this makes him “healthy” 

Definitely likes to snack on those cocktail fruit cups and canned mandarin oranges

His entire freezer is just full of ice cream 

It’s all weird flavors like Cherry Garcia, chocolate banana, and pistachio though

Everyone hates him for this

Raisins are his late night treat 

Has a secret stash of candy no one can find 

That’s okay though because it’s mostly Werthers Originals

And Chiclets gum

He picks out all the orange ones, though

Dutch

Tries to re-plate takeout so he can call it his own

Everybody sees through this but they stopped commenting on it like four Thanksgivings ago 

Buys a bunch of those meals from Costco that all you need to do is heat up in the oven

He does like fast food but only from the less popular places

Carl’s Jr., Wendy’s, BK, Arby’s, etc. 

A&W, too, because he’s old and weird

He can totally cook, he just never does 

It’s just normal stuff like spaghetti and meatballs or chicken and rice, though

Tuna fish casserole

He over-seasons everything, though

Mostly because he’s trying to prove that he’s a good cook 

Eats dessert twice, every night 

Once right after dinner, and then later when he’s feeling like a treat 

Will eat in bed

Uses a little bib and tray and everything 

Likes pumpkin and sunflower seeds

Would eat hot wings with gloves on 

He’s the one who taught Arthur to put ketchup on eggs 

Kieran 

The second I realized that Kieran would probably be white trash, my life changed 

Hamburger Helper meals for LIFE

That one cheeseburger pasta? Kieran probably eats that three times a week 

He 100% makes the ketchup-butter sketti from Honey Boo Boo 

“It’s been a while since I done had roadkill in my belly”

His favorite dessert is ambrosia salad or that weird yogurt/Cool Whip covered jello that was popular in the 2000s

Probably has a TV dinner every once in a while, too

Instant mashed potatoes and minute rice type of guy 

Also gives me big microwave cheddar broccoli vibes 

I’ve said this before, but his house is probably stocked with all kinds of on-brand goodies 

Probably always has some kind of chip and cookie around 

Eats dinner in front of the TV

Dips french fries in mayonnaise

All of this said though, he isn’t a picky eater and will eat whatever is put on his plate 

That’s why he’s great to take to restaurants, because he never complains

Honestly it’s just so sweet to think of him making big crockpot meals to share with ppl even if his cooking is a lil.... strange 

Javier

Thinks that the hot dog combo from Costco is a suitable dinner 

Also gets hot food from the grocery store for dinner a lot

Literally will just heat up a can of something and eat it plain 

Beans, chili, soup… 

Doesn’t doctor it up or change it at all 

He’s happy to share but no one wants any

Chips and dip, 24/7

And it’s just Tostitos Hint of Lime chips and hummus

Probably puts hummus on everything, too 

Corn chips, tortilla chips, tortillas, vegetables, sandwiches, etc. 

Will put anything in a tortilla and call it a sandwich 

Eats leftovers cold 

The rest of the gang thinks this is a sin

Makes stir fry with whatever is laying around the house

It’s a little gross because he will try to add leftover beans

Refuses to eat fast food

The only exception he’ll make is for french fries and ice cream

Walks around and eats at the same time

Isn’t above asking the other boys to share with him 

Despite the fact that this only happens if what they’re eating is good

Which is almost never

Sean

Sean can’t cook. That’s the end of it

The most he can make is that weird microwave Mac and cheese where the pasta is boiled in the mug?? 

He never does it tho and just sticks with the normal, frozen Mac and Cheese you can microwave instead

Uses his microwaving ability to make mug cakes

And microwave scrambled eggs

Burns his popcorn every single time

He’s probably set of the smoke detector or fire alarm multiple times

He’s Irish though so of course he’s addicted to potatoes and cabbage

And since he’s from the UK, he likes stuff like beans on toast and marmite

He’s a little nasty too so catch him eating bologna sandwiches on wonder bread

Not even the Marstons are that bad

When he does get takeout, he overspends trying to use a delivery app 

He’s like, “And do I need the extra side of special sauce for $5…? Yes.” 

Cooks like this 

[skyruemonroe]

It's a Chicken Nugget Hazel Levesque. Tfw u tried to write a pjo fic even tho the series has been dead for u since 2014

After years of being lost in the fields of Asphodel, Hazel Levesque was brought back to life to be a part of a prophecy. The Prophecy of the Seven destined seven half-bloods to rise to the call and defend the world as they know it against an ancient Earth goddess, Gaia. Out of the seven demigods, only six were defending the world “as they knew it”. Hazel had been dead since 1942. Hazel’s half-brother Nico Di Angelo jail broke her out of Asphodel and threw her into a new century. The 21st century might as well have been an entirely different world versus the time she’s from. Buckets of information were poured into her head with every passing day. Nothing reminded her of the 1930s and there were no familiarities besides her newly made friendships with the rest of the seven. One of the seven gained a little more than her friendship. Frank Zhang took affection with his cheeky smile and stole her heart with gentle gestures. Frank had become the praetor of New Rome after the war with Gaia had ended. They haven’t been able to spend too much time sharing stories and giggling flirtatiously  His post kept him busy, but Hazel was kept busy with her lessons about the modern day.

Camp-Half Blood had such a slower pace compared to the rest of the world.  Instead of obnoxious, horn blowing and car engines growling there were trees rustling, birds chirping and the sweet, relaxed chatters of campers. Although, chatting was more so cheering and groaning when war games were in session. As far as she was aware war games weren’t planned for the rest of the week. More time to relax and enjoy her friends’ company.

Friends. An ethereal smile flooded into her face as she headed towards the Hestia cabin. Tight, copper curls bounced against her shoulders as she started to skip. Her eyes were a gold sun and they shined brighter with every friendly wave from campers lingering in the ring of cabins. The canary letters printed on her purple SPQR shirt, along with the brown in her knee-height boots created a casual accent against cinnamon skin and high-waist blue jeans.

The Hestia’s cabin door swung open before she could raise her hand to knock. “Miss Underground has arrived,” a pointy eared, scrawny boy announced. He grabbed Hazel’s hand and yanked her into a room of laughable cheers. “It’s thanksgiving Charlie Brown and we’ve got taste testing to do.”

“Leo, it’s not thanksgiving and who’s Charlie Brown?” Hazel’s eyes widened as his bony arm pulled her to the rest of the group. It was odd seeing everyone letting their guard laze and unscathed. Leo was wearing a clean, stainless, white t-shirt and brown cargo shorts rather than an almost grey with filth button down shirt and jeans.

“Darling Hazel…Grasshopper you’ve still got much to learn. I, the qualified Percy Jackson will show you Peanuts after food. “Percy closed his eyes put his right hand on his chest and held his right arm out to Hazel as if he was making an oath. A small smirk flickered on his face as he awaited a face palm from his beloved girlfriend. Hazel’s right eye scrunched as her left eyebrow rose. Are peanuts not food? Are they slang now?

“Seaweed brain. Why are you like this?” Grey eyes rolled as a blonde haired girl spoke. A soft chuckle tumbled from her lips as she tugged on of her curls.

“Anyway~” Leo interrupted the couple before flirtatious bantering could hit off. “Courtesy of the Hestia cabin. Today you’re going to try chicken nuggets and other 21st century foods. ” His brown chucks tapped against the ground softly as he walked backward into a chair. His curls matched the brown choppiness of a girl who was leaning towards a blonde boy with thick, black glasses. “Maybe you’ll eat the vegan stuff Piper likes. ” He jutted his thumb to the girl behind him.

Hazel rolled her eyes at the brown haired girl’s spot on jazz hands behind Leo’s head. “How many other foods?” The smell of oils and modern day convenience stores wafted all through the cabin. “Why couldn’t we do this at the dining hall?” Hazel figured it make more sense to take advantage of the dining hall’s magical properties than to have Hestia campers do all the cooking.

“Lots of foods will be tested. Foods I will eat.” Piper finger gunned at Hazel. Reminding everyone that she wasn’t going to be consuming chicken nuggets or any other meat products. “We wanted to do it here because homemade is the best way to have food. ” Piper pulled herself up onto a wooden table in the center of the cabin. Then playfully leaned forward to flick Leo and Jason’s heads. “I’m a vegetarian. Not vegan…yet. ”

Jason turned around with puffed out cheeks, narrowed blue eyes and pursed lips. “Pipes owh. I didn’t say anything.”

Percy giggled as Leo slyly un-tied  Piper’s grey converse. “Piper you might want to hop down from the table. If we’re going to be eating I don’t want your butt where my food will be.”

Piper gave an understanding nod and hopped down from the table. Her shoe lace on her left foot got caught under her right shoe, throwing her forward onto her face. Hazel looked away as Piper shot back up. Should she have said something so Piper wouldn’t have fallen?

Maybe she shouldn’t have said something. That was quite hilarious though. In order to hide the corners of her smile Hazel pretended to cough.  

Annabeth sat in the corner eyebrows furrowed and lips pressed firmly together  like she was about to explode. “They’re all frozen foods. It doesn’t make sense to have it here in the Hestia cabin.”

Before more common sense could spill off her tongue a Hestia camper came out with bowls filled to the brim with chicken nuggets. “The blue bowl has tyson chicken nuggets, the green bowl has vegetable based nuggets and the purple bowl has breaded chunks of chicken. Or homemade chicken nuggets. ”

“Thanks!” Five of the kids chorused in unison.

“Why didn’t you just say homemade chicken nuggets? Why make it more complicated?” Percy scooted his chair towards the table. The screeching sounds of the chair legs against the floor were so irritating. Annabeth kicked Percy’s chair forward flying him all the way up to the table.  Instead of multiple fragmented screeches there was one big scooch.

Piper immediately started snatching nuggets from the vegetable bowl and stuffing them in her face. Jason followed her actions but much more slowly. At least Piper wasn’t intense and mean. Hazel hasn’t ever seen her trash or make a scene over people eating meat. Frank was making his way into becoming vegetarian as well. Percy and Leo would tease him about how soon his heavy armor would turn into eco-friendly grass woven shirts.

Giggling, Hazel walked over to the table and picked up a homemade chicken nugget first. They looked delicious, she thinks. Hazel hasn’t seen any other homemade chicken nuggets to compare them to.

The moment Hazel popped a chicken nugget into her mouth. A boy solidified through a shadow cast on the wall by a bookshelf. “I knew you all would do this. You got nuggets. You didn’t get McNuggets. You’re dead to me. ” Once the boy was completely visible his pale skin stuck out like center piece against all the warm colors in the Hestia cabin. The bags under his eyes were an unsettling grey. Did those bags ever go away? What would he look like without fatigue weighing on his skin. Does Will ever make him sleep? Hazel bit her lip into a smile as she thought about her brother and his hot mess of self care.

“Nico!” She dropped the next chicken nugget she was about to eat onto the table and ran over to give him a loving hug

“Hay! Be careful you’re going to hurt the happy meals. ” His grip tightened around the gold m-shaped handles. He lightly kissed her cheek then smiled back.

“Hay Hay back a way way!” Percy grinned. All eyes turned to a young man balancing a stack of chicken nuggets on his nose.  A few Hestia campers were watching the group from afar.  Their heads tilted and eyebrows raised.  Were these dorks really the brave heroes to save the world? In the full picture they looked like the weird group of misfits who’d sit a table away from the ‘squares’ at school.  "Someone is missing. “ He looked around at everyone in the room.

The room was filled of people. "There’s no one missing. Frank already told you he couldn’t make it. ” Hazel took a Happy Meal from Nico’s hands. Her eyes widened as she noticed the teeth and tongue painted onto the box. “Why does it have a face?” The corner of her upper lip raised while the skin on her nose scrunched up.

“To make it more kid friendly. ” Leo offered an explanation and then turned to Percy. “Calypso couldn’t make it because she isn’t feeling well. ” Leo stuffed as face in the midst of talking in order to cover up the immediate look of love sickness.

Percy shook his head. “No, not them. Someone that’s Nico’s TYPE. ”

Everyone in the room let out an annoyed sigh.  "LET IT GO. “ The entire cabin shouted.

"Percy you’ve got me, your girlfriend. You can’t hold on to Nico growing out of his crush  forever. ” Annabeth smacked the back of head, causing all the chicken nuggets to fall onto his lap. Nico huffed and picked up a glass full of a red drink from a platter just being brought in. Hazel looked over to the Hestia kids.  Why were the so distant? This wasn’t a selective food party. It’s an everybody food party. Hazel opened her mouth to call everyone over but was cut off by Percy’s revenge.

“Annabeth. There’s a spider right behind your head. ” He pointed and forced a look of surprise upon his face.

“Kelphead. Do you really think that’s gonna work on me? I found the Mark of Athena. I’m not scared of spiders anymo-”

Leo took his shoe off and started to get up, “I’ll kill it. ” He looked to where Percy was pointing. Annabeth flew into Percy’s arms that millisecond. All the chicken nuggets on his lap fell onto the floor. A hestia kid groaned in the background. They’re going to have clean up the mess when they all leave.

Hazel felt dirty for laughing so hard. The guilt faded away as Piper joined her. Hazel’s hair smushed against Piper’s shoulder as she leaned into her jean jacket.  Looking to Nico her eyebrows furrowed. “Are you drinking blood?” She understood the term edgy now. Wasn’t this taking 'edge’ a bit too far? Her pupils shrunk a bit as her mood was tainted with fear and disgust.

Everyone laughing at Percy and Annabeth now laughed at Hazel’s confusion. Nico’s head jerked back as his eyes bugged and he spit his drink out of his mouth. “No! It’s not blood. Good gods Hazel. It’s Kool-Aid. ”

The blonde boy behind Nico nodded. “Yeah Hazel it’s just a soft drink. It comes in a ton of different flavors and colors. It tastes pretty nasty unless you pour half a bag of sugar in. ”

“Jason you’d only put the amount it said to put in until I showed you how to make Kool-Aid. ” Leo raised his eyebrows and looked over to the Hestia campers. “Are you guys going to chill with us?” A toothy grin sprawled across his face as Leo waved them over to the table.

Jason looked to the side. It’s not his fault he never experimented outside of instruction. Some people are made to be set in stone. Hazel laughed at Jason’s face then turn to see the Hestia kid’s expressions. There was a bit of confusion and hesitant nodding. “It’ll be more fun with you!” Hazel twirled over to them and extended her hand to the eldest looking camper.

“Well I don’t see why we’re all sitting back here. ” The Hestia kid took Hazel’s hand and they both went back to the table. The other kids followed. “So, you’re Hazel Levesque?” They noted her copper curls, SPQR shirt and bond with the world’s saviors. “How’s the 21st Century treating you?”

Hazel let go of the Hestia camper’s hand then spun around to come face to face. She looked up a tad because she only came up to their chin. “I am Hazel Levesque. It’s. It’s interesting. Not like anything I’ve ever witnessed but I love it!” Hazel bashfully tugged on one of her curls and gazed down at the floor. “I still feel like I don’t know enough to really contribute. ”

The Hestia camper chuckled lightly. “You don’t have to learn to create. You create to learn. Bring in what you do know and then go from there. ” They patted Hazel lightly on the shoulder.

Hazel’s golden eyes rose to meet the Hestia camper’s blue eyes. They weren’t as chilling and intimidating as Jason’s but they were even more infinite and capturing. “Thank you. I’m sorry. I didn’t catch your name?”

“You can call me Jace. ” The Hestia camper grinned. “You’ll have more fun in this generation if you stay away from 5sos and meme stans and… Politics. ” Jace popped the P in politics and slid in a chair across from Piper. They grabbed a veggie nugget and poked it into their mouth.

“What’s a five sauce stan? What’re memes?” Hazel paused before trying a veggie nugget. For Frank. She’s doing this for Frank.  He’s going vegetarian. That means she has to get more acquainted with vegetable based products.

“Memes are the best thing about the 21st century. Ever. ” Leo firmly stated while llaying upside down on his chair like a bat. His curly hair rested on the floor. “Five S.O.S Is actually an acronym for a ban named Five Seconds of Summer Piper likes them. ”

Piper scoffed. “You say it as if being a fan is derogatory. ” She kicked Leo’s chair over a bit. His head rubbed against the floor.

“Beauty Queen you’re so violent today. Look up what Stan means on urban dictionary Hazel. It’ll boost your Internet skills. ” Leo pulled himself and leaned over to pinch Piper’s cheek.

“What’s the urban dictionary? ” Hazel looked away from Jace to Leo.

Leo’s mouth had just opened but Percy’s laughter spilled before he could say anything. “We’ll show you after Charlie Brown. You’ll need it. ”

Annabeth poked Percy’s cheek. “Jace if you don’t mind me asking, how were you born?” She cringed as the words fell from her mouth. That question was so annoying to ask and be asked. Her need for knowledge made it so she had to know. “Why’d she change how she felt about cabins?”

“With each home Hestia blesses a child is brought into the picture from their hearth. We’re not really born. A lot of us were adopted into a home and blessed by Hestia or we were literally created from the sentimental warmth of a fire place. ” Something along those lines. Jace rolled their eyes. “Also, I’m not sure. Ask her. ” This lot is something else. “Hey Hazel have you ever tried nachos? ” Another one of their siblings brought out chips draped in cheese fondue. “You’ll love 'em. ”

Hazel giggled and shook her head. She’d heard of nachos before. One time Percy, Annabeth and Hazel went to a video gaming arcade, Percy naturally went straight to the restaurant area. Annabeth followed after rolling her eyes and asking why’d he order food if he hated it the last time. Percy replied he was going to get something different. Over all the cheering and beeping Percy’s voice declared her wanted nachos with extra cheese. The woman working the counter nodded with a straight face and and loud groan. She must’ve been in a terrible mood because she gave Percy a plate of nachos.

[whatspriceofthe]

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