#she said trans rights so hard she died

[antlerqueer]

Mr. Robot (2015-2019). Angela Moss.

@lgbtqcreators creator bingo - free choice (color) & tropes ; anniversary gif meme 3 free space - Ally To A Fault (3/3)

[oceanxveiined]

 Genshin Verse Side Muses:

*Mentions of abuse, dysfunctional families, manipulation, torture, violence, experimentation, ableism, transphobia, and death, not necessarily all present/to various extents depending on each bio, ahead.

1) Chang Da’Lun (500+/appears 23): Half-Adeptus, born some time before the Cataclysm. He can shift into a smaller birdlike form at will, though it does take a bit out of him to switch back. It doesn’t stop him from shifting into it on his own or a friend's whim though.

          His father was a Yaksha named Wuye, alias Caligo, who had inevitably become consumed by his karmic debt and became more akin to a malevolent demon. Though admittedly, the adeptus had already possessed quite the cruel streak, even long before he’d fallen. Being driven mad by the karmic debt meant his slaughters turned to fellow adepti and humans alike, which had also grown to be far more frequent and brutal. Each consumed opponent led his power to grow as he’d absorb their vitality and any abilities they possessed.

          By contrast Da’lun’s mother, Anhe, had been fully human, having been with a group of treasure hunters who’d taken her from her family in ransom when they’d strayed too close to the maddened Yaksha’s territory. When they had realized and tried to sneak away, she risked her life to draw Wuye out and betrayed them all in a desperate bid for freedom and power. She offered them all to be slaughtered and devoured by the corrupted Yaksha, as well as to offered to lure more to satisfy his bloodlust for incentive to make him spare her own life. She even offered to be his mate as well, to let herself be used by him as he saw fit, sparing no expense to give anything and everything she could to ensure she survived this encounter. He conceded out of convenience, taking her as promised and continuing his slaughters about Wuwang Hill with her aid.

          Anhe delighted in having his favor, even with how terrified of him she’d been at first, growing more and more sadistic herself with every massacred he’d rend, every death scream that filled her ears while she remained unscathed. The thrill of power and having a mate so powerful to keep it was too alluring and far too intoxicating, she would never dream of ever parting from him.

         Only for her to end up alone and powerless anyway when the former Yaksha was killed shortly after the birth of Da’Lun.

         Much of his childhood had been Anhe relentlessly tormenting him, using him as a scapegoat for how her life had fallen apart and due to having been affected by his father’s karmic debt as well ( both in her continued presence alongside him up until that point and in stubbornly lingering at his lair where the miasma was all concentrated rather than returning home with him gone ). Da’Lun took the abuse without protest, wholeheartedly believing her and his own guilt. He spent his whole life striving to ‘make up’ for his existence, in bringing her gifts and attempting to make her life easier every way he could. To protect and provide for her as his father had intended.

         It all came to a crashing stop when his mother at last succumbed to the cursed energy infesting their home. Or so he tells himself and anyone who ponders of her fate, not wanting to admit he himself had killed and devoured her. It had been when she’d tried to end his life first and the resulting corruption of them both had his adeptal nature spiraling out of control during the struggle. His Electro Vision had been what had ultimately murdered her, bestowed upon him during his struggle as she denounced and cursed him, which he hadn’t realized until the morning after.

         Plagued with guilt and fear, and knowing he must have taken on her share of the karmic debt's influence, his father's ability considered, he traveled Teyvat to distance himself from his former home for a few years. For 500 years, he witnessed beauty and horrors alike throughout it all, before he decided to settle some time in Sumeru. His main aim had been to learn all he could on humans and their histories ( learning from each Darshan over the course of the centuries he’d spent there, changing his appearance every time he’d reapply ), as well as to pass the time in a way that would not aggravate lingering traces of his father’s influence. It was while he learnt from the Amurta Darshan when he met Danae. With time to spare, and admittedly intrigued by the utter madness of her ideas and her equally frenzied determination to see such impossible fantasies made reality, he signed a contract to assist her in any endeavors she may undertake for them, as she would his own, per its terms. They would maintain it dedicatedly before briefly parting ways when her illicit studies were discovered.

         He himself remained at the Akademiya mere weeks before deciding his life had dulled too much without her odd ideas and eccentric ( not to mention at times exceedingly cruel ) methods, setting off to travel again in search of her. Traveling through his homeland, he would come to meet Ozzy, whom he would follow to Mondstadt, after he’d found him interesting company, especially when the man would encourage him to not feel so wary of the karmic debt’s influence. There, he would become a founding member of his gang when it resulted that the man’s interest had been likewise piqued and thus given him the invitation to stay.

          Ozzy was able to locate and drag Danae into his business thanks to Da’Lun’s scheming and using the terms of their contract to rope her in.

         What could he say? He would be a fool to let one of his favorite toys go. Just as he would the chance to see what would come out of putting so many volatile little components together.

           Surely the end result would be most spectacular indeed.

Oswald “Ozzy” Beauregard / Ásvaldr Bjornsson (appears early 20s): One of the remaining survivors of Khaenri’ah, though he keeps that card very close to his chest, having fled the nation after the surviving the Cataclysm. Only Da’Lun is actually aware of said fact, due to their shared longevity and closer bond compared to many of the others. If asked of his origin, he will always give the half-truth that he is of the Sumeru region. He currently gets a kick out of pretending to work for himself at his little tavern named Fleur de Nuit, from where his gang operates under the guise of a legitimate business.

         Stricken with immortality, Ozzy tends to push the limits of what said immortality will do for him, especially since his perception of pain and danger has been skewed severely by his curse. For the longest time, he had wandered about the desert and Sumeru’s forests, picking fight after fight using the very Abyssal energies he’d been corrupted with. Even with no formal combat training outside teachings he learnt as apprentice mage ( these very learnings being the reason he was was to maintain his appearance as it was, without succumbing to the curse of wilderness ), his increasingly frenzied manner tended to allow him to prove a match for the hilichurls, Eremites, and Treasure Hoarders he encountered, leaving brutalized corpses and wreckages in his wake, and plenty a scar to mar his own body. Some of which healed worse off than others due to his inability and gradual lack of real want to properly care for himself. Eventually, he would be found and formally taken in by the Fatui when he had too grievously injured to fight them off.

Not that he would have wanted to even if he could, considering how much they piqued his interest.

        He had been with them long before Danae had joined, having willingly surrendered himself to be experimented on by Dottore out of boredom and curiosity to see what the man could get out of it. As well as a vain hope to possibly stave off his Erosion and keep his mind with the Abyssal energies eating away at it when his own treatments would prove increasingly inefficient. Needless to say, Ozzy’s sanity had still taken quite the toll throughout the centuries he’s been alive, and the outright torture he faced through the time he’d been with them had truly not helped in the least. Especially not while being injected with god remains had steadily twisted up his mind, more and more. The Abyssal energy he’d already been afflicted with had ironically been what helped keep himself through it though, allowing him to fully assimilate the god’s lingering energy into himself and steady his condition.

         When Danae had decided to desert the Fatui, she broke Ozzy out from containment and left him an experimental Delusion to have him serve as a diversion so she could escape, figuring he would have some exploitable grudge that would prompt him to seek vengeance. And he served his purpose well, slaughtering Fatuus after Fatuus he encountered with the three tail-like, bladed chains he could manifest from it. He did so with great delight and utmost zeal, damn near like an animal in frenzy. But in truth, he really cared not for getting even. He rather merely wanted enrichment, as he called it.

         While Danae had figured the Delusion would simply kill him in the end, his own longevity and the god remains he’d assimilated allowed him to use the Delusion so freely without truly debilitating consequences, though still at certain cost to his body after particularly prolonged usage. It severely aggravates the place with the god remains had been injected, low at his right side where the Abyssal energy was at its highest concentration. Due to it also being the place of his most severe wound and one of the ones that truly never healed properly, it leaves him feeling as though something had been gouged right out every time he’d stop its use. Still, in the moment of that first use, all he could think of was the thrill of the fighting and being able to run about, free at last. To this day, that very thrill is what keeps him using it, even knowing the painful consequences.

         The euphoric high he felt back then lead him to completely destroy the location all together, both in his own kills and in tampering the delicate machinery that would consume the rest of the location along with it in the ensuing explosions. He himself made his getaway before the destruction caught him up along with everything else, after finding and bringing along a fellow victim ( not that he consciously saw himself as such ) of the Fatui experiments.

         After hearing tales of Monstadt, her homeland, the idea of a nation whose Archon had no real say in its ruling appealed to him greatly, Thus, he would hijack and man a Fatui ship to gain leave off Inazuma, heading to the Southern side of Liyue, and making their journey back to Mond that way.

         Ozzy’s aim in making the gang had solely been to collect interesting people to surround himself with, nothing more nothing less. Something to help stave off ennui and keep his mind sharp; a little pet project he could maintain or ruin at his leisure when the time came. It only became a formal organization incidentally, but he finds it a decent pastime to run it and especially the business he and Da’Lun came up with as a front. Especially when he genuinely ended up attached to a certain select few, though he maintains it is only out of how entertaining the lot of them are, themselves and with him.

          Due to past experiences, particularly what he witnessed during the Cataclysm, he has a mild to severely violent visceral reaction to fire based abilities; which is only worsened by his love of deliberately avoiding triggering his own phobia and habit of gambling with extreme stakes, typically involving fire in some way.

         What sort of gambling man would he be if he let something like that stop him, after all?

Elisabeth “Eliza” Merrimack (18) - A Mondsadt-born girl whose family lineage traces back to the Imunlaukr clan, after the clan had broken up due to a schism. Originally Visionless, she would gain a Dendro Vision ( chronologically set late in the events of the Sumeru Archon Quest ) and take up Catalyst-based combat.

         The eldest daughter of her main family at the time, she had a horse riding accident in her youth that left her paraplegic, exhibiting little to no movement in her legs even after treatment at the church. The fact that it had taken them some time to get her there, seeing as she had been lost for days, was probably behind it. Regardless, her family despaired at the incident, frantically trying everything they could to heal her, even as the church insisted nothing could be done. Even as she herself tried to reason it was alright; that she didn't need to be, having accepted their verdict when her family could not. And they never truly did.

         When she was fifteen, the Merrimacks ultimately accepted an offer from the Fatui to aid them ( though in hindsight, Eliza couldn’t but wonder if it had been seen as an excuse to have them take her off their hands ), and carted her off far from home. Betrayed at her family giving her away so easily, especially after she realized they would not check up on her or visit, Eliza at last fell into despair after seeing what awaited her at the hands of the Fatui. Her parents had been lied to, after all–Eliza had not been taken in to receive care, instead becoming subjected to experiments with god remains like every other subject they got their hands on.

          And no one would be aware of that to come save her. Assuming they would even care to try if they did.

         Things began to change years later after meeting Danae, who was assigned to oversee her. To be precise, Danae had at first been in charge of her post-op treatments, ensuring the effects of the experiments didn’t disrupt her vitals and in keeping her alive overall. They began to know more of each other and interact after the then Fatuus had been promoted and would have her as an exclusive subject, due to her ideas and personal project.

          Even with how callous Danae could be, she and Eliza eventually came to get along well due to Eliza coming to understand Danae’s wordless gestures and tough-love care after the former had begun to get attached to Eliza. Said care usually being in the form of snuck treats and material comforts. It wasn’t until later on in their friendship that Eliza learned it had been because she reminded Danae of her younger brother, that she had specifically requested to oversee her treatments because she wanted to help her like she'd intended to help him. Learning why and how she intended to do that did embitter Eliza rather than endear her though.

That said, they truly became each other’s first real friend and confidante after Eliza had been–even if gruffly–encouraged by Danae to start speaking up for herself and the first thing Eliza did was tell her off for thinking she ought to ‘fix’ her and any other person, for that matter. It had been a gut reaction based on Eliza’s own resentment of how her family regarded her as well as the god remains in her acting up due to her agitation.

         Still, even while the burst of temper had startled Eliza, it had been enough for Danae to not only respect the girl, but also to begin to doubt her own goals. Most notably, it was enough to prompt the Fatuus to pick up her old ideas anew rather than continuing the original experiment plan she’d had altogether, choosing to help make amends in fashioning Eliza a special wheelchair to take her out for enrichment. Not that Danae would ever admit that’s what it had been for, even in present day, but Eliza understood and was grateful for it all the same.

            The day Danae broke out, she had actively tried to reach Eliza to bring her along, but was unable to in the chaos she’d wrought and severely underestimated. Thinking her dead, she prioritized her own survival and left without a second thought.

           Eliza hadn’t realized she’d been abandoned once again, rather had been merely confused by the happening and chaos around her. She patiently awaited Danae to come, trusting the Fatuus to soon fill her in and protect her if need be. Instead, it was the newly freed Ozzy who had found Eliza and offered to bring her along after having slaughtered her guards and in hearing her request to see the stars outside before he ‘put her out of her misery’ had moved him.

          And especially because she then tried to cut his throat the instant he got close enough to try and carry her.

          After convincing her he did want to bring her along, not kill her, she at last conceded and let him take her away from the wreckage of the lab. Eliza's tales of her home nation had been the reason Ozzy had chosen to settle there, and she was more than happy to return with him, though flares ups of the god remains in her did pose some problems both were unsure of how to handle. Not that he trusted anyone in Teyvat to be able to take care of her as they should, especially considering how she’d ended up in the Fatui’s hands in the first place.

         Still, she is grateful he took it upon himself to allow her to stay by his side as his ward, even while she couldn’t offer him much in return in terms of fighting skill, money, or knowledge besides that of her home. When he founded his gang, she did find purpose in aiding with the logistics aspect of running the front for his gang, using the learnings of her youth. Without her, it would have fallen apart from the start, Ozzy would always say, leaving her giddy with excitement and her heart full. After finding and enacting a solution to quell the unstable god remains in her ( taken place post-Sumeru archon quest, story-wise ), she would start taking a more active role in the gang as aid to their resident healer. In addition, her wheelchair would be adapted for combat, to suit her needs and her Vision’s abilities.

          She is well aware that elemental concentrations worsen the god remains' extreme and dangerous flare ups, but she still constantly insists upon staying with everyone else in the gang and utilizing a soothing device relying on Elemental energy anyways. She’d rather spend it in comfort and with her friends, even the lot of them encourage her to when she frets what could come out of it ( even Ozzy telling her the risk of that danger is exactly why they are so comfortable was a twisted solace that wound up giving her more confidence to accept her wants to be with them ). Once the traces of god remains in her would be sealed off enough, she is able to head out with them with her wheelchair from that point on, as well as set at ease her fears of hurting them. She still feels chronic flares up of pain due to her affliction, but with less risk of it going out of control and killing her dear friends, she can bear it a lot easier.

          After all she’d been through, this was nothing. Nothing, in the face of being able to smile and delight in her life to the fullest once more.

Durene (19): Hailing from Natlan, Durene is a demigodess, born from the union of a mortal man, Jevaun, and a nature godess Jaladri, whom he had ensnared with a talisman along with several of his friends and fellow warriors when her tempests had threatened their home village. She had fallen for him when he had been watching over her, and had been the kindest of her captors, eventually conceding to be his wife after enough time in his company, as well as certain courtship of his had won her over.

          Even while bound to human form, Jaladri had been content in their union at first, up until her husband began to get exceedingly paranoid and possessive of her following being imbued with several of her blessings that granted him great strength and renown in his tribe. She began to grow miserable, cursing Jevaun and unable to do much to fight him as he was, as her powers had become considerably weaker compared to his over the years, especially after Durene’s birth. And it didn’t help that it was especially so because the man kept her away from the sea, an important source of vitality for her. Still the goddess did not fault her daughter upon her birth, teaching Durene the ways to be a soothsayer and healer so she could properly go through the initiation process and her actual training in the village once she was of the apt age. At the same time, Jevaun had taught Durene the art of war and trained with her every chance he got, hoping his daughter could bring him renown and glory with her exploits in the yearly games.

          Durene took to both her learnings quite well, eager at the thought of being able to contribute to village and her family this way. She particularly excelled in serving as an herbalist and healer, though she did work hard to improve her skills when it came to divination to impress her mother. It always did seem to put Jaladri in a far better mood whenever she did, as well as when she would listen to her mother’s tales of gods and places she’d been, of her life prior to being confined to mortal form. Of their Archon, and her great deeds. More than anything, she loved singing for her mother, songs she learned from her and the others in the village, seeing how her voice seemed to bring the goddess some semblance of solace, when she felt her weakest.

         At twelve years old, Durene had bonded with a Koholasaurus she'd named Aje, who helped her gather materials from the seas and magma caves, often keeping Jaladri company whenever Durene would gather from the land, or while she worked to make her treatments or to preserve her supplies. Around that time, she also learned the full story of her mother’s plight. Horrified and moved, she would elect to repay her mother all she’s taught her in concocting a clever plan to gleam out from her drunken father the location of each piece of the talisman needed to complete the needed ritual and free the goddess. With this knowledge, Durene was able to find and bring them to her mother with Aje's aid. The goddess would aid her in completing the necessary steps once it had all come together. As her bonds would break and her strength returned, Jaladri lamented being unable to take her child with her. Promising to return with a means to ascend her as soon as she could, the goddess would transform into a pillar hundreds of crabs that would scatter into the sea and leave Durene standing alone at the outcropping. Bittersweet and all-too brief as their parting was, she felt content in knowing her mother would be happy at last.

          The good mood would not last long, as Jevaun flew into a deadly rage in realizing what had happened when he awoke to the sounds of a howling sea storm after she returned home.

          His rage did not frighten her, even as he demanded answers. Did the she not care about their village? Of what the goddess would do to them, now that she was free? Of why she’d been confined to mortality in the first place?

Durene truly cared not, insisting Jaladri had borne and suffered enough under his suffocating hold. If they were all to be destroyed in her vengeful wrath, it was for the slight they’d done against her, and thus truly fair.

          Her answers would brand her a traitor in the eyes of her father and, to his claims, their people. To ensure the goddess wouldn’t completely destroy them, he killed Aje and locked Durene away, making made sure Jaladri could never find her and that no one else would in turn ever think to help free her, as no one else would be aware of where she'd 'disappeared' to. As far as anyone knew, she and her Saurian companion had been killed while gathering materials.

          She couldn’t say how much time had passed since he’d left her there. Days, then weeks, then months went by languishing in her prison, in the presence of no one else but her father, whenever he would stop by to bring her food. If her refusal to concede to his pleas to betray her mother and attempts to break out didn’t enrage him enough to leave her to her own devices the next few, that was. It wasn’t until she’d exhausted every desperate, rage and grief-stricken attempt at escaping that Durene formulated a proper plan to escape.

          The next time Jevaun came to see her, he found his daughter seemingly unresponsive. The man freed her from her bonds and frantically attempted to wake her, only to find his daughter conscious after all, taking advantage of his closeness to grab hold of him. The man was only able to catch a brief glimpse of her newly bequeathed Anemo Vision mere moments before she would sap the breath from his lungs. Her face, twisted in every trace of hatred and resentment she felt towards him, was the last thing he’d ever see as he would succumb. Durene would hold no remorse for her actions, even as the village people would come to find her and try to seize her in retaliation.

          Escaping their clutches and leaving them to the mercy of her mother’s wrath, Durene would take to travel about Teyvat as a wandering soothsayer, making a pretty coin on divination and healing. Truly, that whole time she had been seeking a way she may ascend to join her mother, sparing no expense wherever she may go. She'd even forged a binding vow for herself, giving up her tongue, and thus ability to speak in exchange for power. Through her journey, she fostered a particular resentment born in her in Sumeru and the way the Akademiya had gone about managing knowledge at the time ( such as the reason they had rejected entry for her, thinking her to be of the desert folk ). Which lead to her resolving to ensure that place would be the first she may pay a visit to once she reached her goal, to tear it asunder for the offense, seeing as its god would surely not be able to match her when the time came.

          It was in being found by Ozzy in Liyue and being requested to come with him, Eliza, and Da'Lun along the way that she came to have company once more. The final founding member of his gang, she would happily settle in Mond with them. But by no means does this mean she had given up on her goal. With Da'Lun and his influence, as well as the addition of Danae later on, Durene would find use in the team’s members to further seek the information she required for her own ultimate goal. Who knew, perhaps she would just need to be a little more patient, just a little bit longer.

           Well, fine by her. That, she had plenty practice in.

Jaeda Purmizra (18): The daughter of an affluent family in Sumeru and the most recent addition to Ozzy’s gang. She joined them after running away from home and continuously hitching rides on caravans then later merchant ships that guided her to Dorman Port in Mondstadt. From there, she hid among a lucrative-looking delivery, which lead her to Ozzy’s tavern, where she would be promptly caught for having stolen foods from the convoy and attempted to make off with other items to try and sell in the main city. Danae had nearly left her bound and at the complete mercy of Treasure Hoarders as punishment, had Eliza not intervened and personally pleaded her case to Ozzy. He accepted to take Jade in as well, only because he knew it would anger Danae in the process, and because he was intrigued by her Vision in particular,

          Born male and then named Jahar, Jade had been the family’s sole heir and was raised into the role accordingly ( read: impossibly strict ) by her mother. It was thanks to a young servant girl who tended to her every need that she even began to experiment with and realized her actual gender identity. All because the girl had wanted to play dress up and needed a friend to help her, not realizing all the decorum she was breaking in daring to ask the heir, of all people, such a thing.

          It had been quite the relief in realizing it, though, even when she hadn’t been actively searching for it. But to her, it meant everything from then on. And it meant despair, as she continued to masquerade as her mother’s precious only son and heir. She didn’t want to upset her mother, after all, especially since the woman banked so much of her bid for power as head of the family upon her. So she kept that her little secret, playing with the girl and growing up happily alongside her over the years.

         Up until she and the girl had been caught playing.

         The girl had been punished severely for her ‘crime’ and Jade was forced to bear witness to the bloody ordeal for humoring her. Only after the girl was left near death did Jade face her own punishment, the horrid humiliation her mother enforced upon her before an audience of the woman’s closest friends and advisers.

          The anger she felt in seeing the life dwindling in her friend’s eyes and the cruelty she faced ignited a single-minded determination to make every last person in the room pay for her beloved friend's pain, enough to for her to black out, coming to only when her mother had screamed.

Snapping back to consciousness, Jade felt bloodcurdling horror and cathartic relief in realizing she’d burnt her mother’s lovely face beyond recognition, every other cruel person who’d participated in her torment left as naught but charred corpses in her wake. In spotting the gleaming, blood-red gem clutched tightly in her hand.

          She didn’t stay long, stealing her friend away and running away from home with an intent to bring her along. They could make a life together away from them now, she was sure of it. She had a Pyro Vision after all, she was no longer powerless to protect them!

            With the severity of the girl’s wounds though, her friend had little time left. With her last breath, the girl made her promise to live life for the both of them and to be happy. To stay safe, and never let anyone dictate how she may live her life ever again.

          That day, Jahar died along with the servant girl. In his place and bearing the name of that girl to carry on her memory, Jaeda would set off to find that happiness she’d promised.

Mako du Raie (16): A Visionless young heir to a prolific merchant family in Fontaine, and the member who had joined the Snake-Eyes gang before Danae and Tua had. His father, Benshi, had been a doushin from Inazuma and met Mako’s mother, Marie, while she learnt the trade from her father, prior to the Sakoku Decree being fully enacted. Mako is their illegitimate child, though he was claimed to be his mother’s younger brother to save face for the family. As such, he was raised primarily under the strict watch of his grandmother and even stole the title of heir to the family from Marie, due to the story they’d given him.

         He took to his studies like a fish to water, being quite bright and precocious for his age. And in his eagerness to pursue his grandmother’s approval, he went far above and beyond the efforts his mother had ever put into her own. The family agreed he was definitely a far more suitable heir than she as a result, though he avoided his mother’s jealous wrath by asking she be involved in everything he did. Like this, the woman’s temperament was appeased, her going as far as to even take credit behind his talent and boast of him to all who would meet them.

          In all honesty, he would have been content enough handing her the reins of the family, had a business venture to Mondstadt not changed his mind entirely. His mother’s boasting lead to drawing Ozzy’s attention, the man having been seeking a nice, convenient little liaison for his gang’s front. With the boy being as young as he was, not only would he be easy to exploit, but his talent and influence would absolutely prove worth the effort to draw him in, just as he'd hope.

          As such, Da'Lun would be the one to meet and gain his trust. To persuade him to join Ozzy’s gang as their merchant contact. And, to ensure Mako’s position and control over his family’s affairs, Da'Lun would even go as far as to encourage Mako to eliminate each and every family member that could possibly stand in his way of managing it all himself.

           Mako couldn’t help but give in, even with how complacent he’d been before. Even being fully aware of the horrific task he would have to taken on to ensure his control over the family's business and finances. All it took was being given the affection and doting he always wanted, rather than lauded praises for his potential and saccharine-sweet yet ultimately empty words he knew better than to believe. It took one friend, who cared and spoiled him so, to make him turn his previous wishes of simplicity and contentment from before and pursue a more ruthless ambition without a qualm. Even as he gazed into his mother’s dulling eyes, frozen in horror and anguish, he would only feel a strong sense of satisfaction as he stepped over her without a qualm. As he would make his way over to Da'Lun, who would fondly ruffle his hair with genuine praises aplenty before carrying him back to Ozzy’s little haunt.

           He knew full well he was to be used by Ozzy’s group, having realized it early on in Da'Lun’s attempts to worm his way into his heart. But once he’d met with the others in the gang and Ozzy himself, there was no longer a single trace of lingering doubt in his heart that his brutal choice had been in his best interest. Looking at the lot of them gathered to see him, all varying shades of proud of what he’d accomplished, no matter how horrific, he determined the excitement and validation that came with what they did was a lot better than living his life within conventional rules.

            Where else could he feel like he was at the top of the world like this?

Tusitala / Tua (20): Originally hailing from a coastal village in Natlan then migrating to and eventually settling in Liyue due to his father’s relentless pursuit of riches and lack of interest in the wars that ravaged their nation, Tua had been a Treasure Hoarder well before his coming of age. He is rather proud of the fact, too, often boasting of his own successes compared to other factions, especially after he’s fought his way through a group of them in a show of his own Natlanian battle prowess. 

At first it had been at his father’s urging that he joined and stayed with the Treasure Hoarders they’d met up with on their way to Liyue Harbor. It was only to serve as something to make for a side hustle while his father took care of other business dealings at first ( taking care of logistics for that gang while Tua himself got to take on the more dangerous aspects, as he also managed an artifact appraisal business with things Tua and the gang would bring in ), then it became Tua’s sole obsession as his own greed grew, right along his addiction for every victory and bounty he secured them.

         Tua was quite content with this life, thinking himself the luckiest man in the world to have this chance. Even if he did have to surrender near all of his share of their spoils to his father, to quell the man's avarice ( and to ensure the man didn't try and take it all from him, by force or outright theft ). But with what he was allowed to keep or what he managed to squirrel away to pass off as such later, Tua would take to decorating himself handsomely to show off his successes. As such, he’s got several piercings ( many of which he did himself ) along his body, as well as bits of gold embedded in his skin, particularly about his shoulders. He also has a few tattoos to commemorate his victories and his comrades, which glow whenever he uses his Vision.

          Speaking of, his Geo Vision came to him during a show of his conviction to protect his Treasure Hoarder ‘family’ by all means and any costs. In this case, it had been in protecting them from a squadron of Milileth by the skin of his own teeth then later its aid, having chosen to cover them on his own to ensure they could make off with a particularly rich score. Because of it, he became quite popular among them, with the lot thinking he would lead them to the greatest successes and eventually take over rival gangs and become their overall leader.

          The thought strongly appealed to him, enough that he resolved to make it a reality. As leader, he would have a greater right to a bigger share of the spoils, and he could be independent enough to break away from his father, too. And of course, being able to protect his closest comrades and look after them with greater responsibility and authority. That was his greatest desire above all else, one he would swear before them during the celebration of his blessing by the Lord of Geo.

          Though he did eventually fail to keep his promise to them when a conflict with Fatui, and severely underestimating them, left his group all slaughtered or near death, himself included. With his last lingering traces of full consciousness, he lamented not being strong enough to protect them all, and expected to meet his shameful end along with them.

          However his survival had been ensured when Danae had stumbled across the massacre. Though initially focused on eliminating the injured and resting Fatui and with her own hatred of Treasure Hoarders having her near ready to ditch them all as it was, it was due to her having determined his potential usefulness upon noting his Vision that prompted her to nurse him back to health.

          Deliberately leaving all the others to their fates, as she didn’t need them.

          When Tua would ask later after awakening, she would swear they were all goners by the time she had found him. That Tua had supposedly been the only one strong enough to survive because of his Vision.

          Grief would take hold, but he wouldn’t linger on that feeling too much. Not enough for it to consume him, anyways. Not when his savior made him an offer to come with her, a suggestion to carry on in his comrades’ names and honor their memories in continuing to plunder and seek the treasures they'd so craved. Feeling both indebted to her and a thrumming need to protect someone once more now that he was without a family ( he dared not return to his father nor join up with a new Hoarder faction after such a harrowing defeat ), he would choose to follow Danae to Mondstadt.

          Along the way and upon reaching their destination, they would take up mercenary work and end up wrapped up in the group they currently associate with now, after participating in an attempt on the young head of the Snake-Eyes gang alongside others like them. Said hit actually having placed by the young head, Ozzy, himself, using it as a ploy for recruitment to test if Danae had been worth Da'Lun's recommendation to his group. Tua likewise making it out alive alongside her and having demonstrated his immense strength and capabilities had been the icing on the cake. He was more than happy to accept the offer to join after that, no need for incentives or anything.

          Well, okay, maybe the pay grade and further chances to seek riches while with them was a pretty good incentive. That, and being able to take part in a whole new gang he could protect and grow stronger with helped convince him, too. There was something reassuring about being able to protect them them of all people, those who didn’t need to depend wholly on him and could defend themselves should his strength fail them. But would still rely on his skills to add to their own, and truly ensure they would all be okay. And he will make sure they would be. He refused to lose any one of 'his own' ever again, swearing the very same oath he gave his late comrades before.

          He will protect his newfound family, with all he has. Whatever it takes.

Mason Ennosigaeus (17): Sidon’s actual biological child. He was stolen away from his family by Morjena when she had found out of his existence, snatching him during the chaos she'd set off after tricking Eremites into looting the caravan the man's wife had traveled with on her way to the main city. It was a move meant to ensure Danae had no competition to being the man’s heir, especially after the woman and her attendants had been killed in the ensuing struggle. Danae was supposed to kill Mason upon being left with him, as Morjena had thought she’d thoroughly beaten the heart out of her. When it turned out that she hadn’t and even wound up with an attachment to the boy, Mason became an opportunity for Morjena to ensure Danae stuck around, regardless of the abuse she faced, regardless of how much harder she became to control the older she got.

           Mason himself was frequently abused by Morjena while Danae was gone and quickly came to rely on the latter for everything. Not that it necessarily meant he was entirely helpless. His weak constitution left him frail as it was, sure, but in truth, Danae never failed to endlessly dote on him every chance she was home to see him, even going as far as to sacrifice her own meals for his sake. She would even forgo sleep to guard him against Morjena as best she could, and when she did, she would deliberately sleep in a way that if the woman pulled anything, she would be the one to take the brunt of her mother’s abrupt assaults. Every little thing he could ever want or need and THEN some was his at his command, and without hesitation. He need only ask. She couldn't offer him comforts like reassurances and gentleness, but this, this she could do for him. And he was wholly all for it, appreciating the one good thing he had amid the horrid life he was stuck in.

             Inevitably, her boundless devotion and their environment twisted him up as badly as it had her, albeit in a different way. The one who truly wound up heartless and cruel, through and through, just as Morjena was, had been him.

          He may come off as shy and unassuming but in truth, he is twice as vicious and self-serving as Danae, behind the gentle demeanor. He is the one person who can ask of her to do anything at his whim, no matter what it is, no matter how hurt she would end up in the process. And he's used that, time and again to sic her on whoever it was he so chose, be it strangers for his own amusement or even people he's realized she started to get a little too close to, in selfish need to ensure she wouldn't start giving away her loyalties. To test that she truly did mean her loyalties to him, and act accordingly if she hesitated or doubted. In his eyes, he still needed her to survive, after all. Especially after an encounter with hilichurls had nearly taken his life, and had cost him his legs just above his knees, even after being rushed to Birmastan.

          At the same time, he is also the person others could use to strongarm Danae into damn near anything if they hold him captive, as any threats to him lead her to be all to eager to comply for his safety ( though woe betide those who lose him as a bargaining chip at any point during ). He is the One and Only Thing she has left to lose, but the feeling is not mutual. It hasn’t been from the moment she’d left him at the Akademiya on his own.

          Even having been left in the lap of luxury when she'd been forced to flee, being torn from her side and the endless doting, from his greatest asset, left him stewing in a resentful rage. His bitterness and broken heart earned him a Cryo Vision amid the enraged outburst within his room, gleaming enticingly within the wreckage of her final gift to him. That Vision, however, he deemed the greatest gift of all, and one he thoroughly believes was the Tsaritsa’s personal wish to him and show of support.

         As such, as of earning his Vision, he swiftly abandoned the idea of staying at the Akademiya. Instead, he sought to join the Fatui, using his power as incentive to be kept of use to them alongside the Cicin Mages. Though he was sure to mask what he did, telling Danae he got to travel for his studies so she never suspects. So her constant stream of money and gifts from afar never end, having them brought to him by agents he roped into his whims that happened to be stationed in Sumeru.

          In learning she had also once joined the Fatui only to abruptly disappear, he knew before any of the lot that she was still alive, and elected to keep this fact to himself, to ensure none of his comrades could seek out and find her. However his intentions are far from protective out of any genuine concern. He has full intentions to personally hunt her down and make her face the full consequences for abandoning him. And the Fatui, too, of course. But if possible, he would like to be the one to bring her end himself. To look her right in the eyes as he would use his Vision to make of her a pristine statue for himself to keep.

         Maybe then she’ll actually keep her promise to never leave his side.

[auspicioustidings]

Dessert

Summary: You're a bit unsure about sex with Johnny as you've not slept with someone since you started transitioning, but it turns out you don't need to worry about it.

Words: 5k

CWs: heavy smut with a sprinkle of breeding kink, reader if mtf trans (no-op, on hormones), terminology used in the start for anatomy is masculine and moves to feminine throughout

If you do not like cis people writing about trans bodies, then skip this one.

You just couldn’t get comfortable with it, couldn’t reconcile your body with the expectations other people put on it. It’s not that your sex drive wasn’t there. Well for a while when you started hormones it died a death, but there was still a desire there now along with the small feminine slope of breasts. Honestly you had sort of thought you’d never get hard again, but after your second or third date with Johnny you went home and masturbated for the first time in what might have been a year or more when he had kissed you and his hand had brushed your nipple as it moved from your cheek to your waist.

--

There were a lot of things you would do before you would have sex. Skydiving without a parachute for instance.

There was a flood of shame after the fact. You and your cock had a contentious relationship. You wouldn’t mind her being there if it hadn’t been decided by the world around you that she made you distinctly unfeminine. But it was a part of your body and the thought of surgery made you feel a little sick. You had been considering it the more you saw Johnny. You just wanted him to like you so badly.

You had it right there in your bio on tinder that you were trans, so it wasn’t like he didn’t know. But then you’d been seeing him for months and you had never talked about it at all. He was the first man you had spoken to on the app who hadn’t immediately wanted to know all the intimate details of your body or made it clear you were a novelty fuck (you had went on a few disaster dates that only made your appetite for sex worse with how they spoke to you before you made excuses and fled early).

The bar was in hell, you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from falling for the gentle Scot with kind eyes. Maybe he was asexual and that’s why he had never really moved beyond chaste kisses. You were too scared to ask, too scared that it would be because he liked you as a person well enough but the idea of a trans body repulsed him. He said he was a straight man on the app after all, he’d probably not want to touch you pre-op (pre-maybe unwanted you were sort of confused on the issue-op).

You were going to his place tonight for dinner. Maybe you’d finally work up the courage to ask him about it.

—

Gaz watched Soap thunk his head against the table again and glanced around to see Price and Ghost found this just as amusing as he did. Watching him go from enthusiastic barracks bunny to repressed simp over the past months had been equal parts sad and hilarious to watch. He was arse over teakettle for some broad he had met on a dating app. His MO was to take a girl on a few dates and develop a FWB situation that suited them both until she wanted to have a full romantic relationship and so parted with him on good terms (usually). This one though he had seemed stunned when he showed up at the pub after their first lunch date. It had been months of him in a daze talking about how much he liked her, how she was funny and smart and beautiful and just got him.

Of course then the fact that he hadn’t yet gotten in her pants had come to light and they watched as Soap got more and more distressed and wound up about it. Soap as a rule was a thirsty little slut at the best of times, for him to have been getting off with only his own hand and a no doubt thoroughly abused fleshlight was unheard of and really convinced Gaz that this might actually be it, he may actually have found the girl who was going to make him want to settle down. They all knew the one time he had tried to transition into something a little hot and heavy she had flinched away, he hadn’t stopped beating himself up about it.

To that end he sighed and supposed he’d better actually give the idiot some advice to make sure he didn’t fuck this up. All he had seen were some photos of the girl and she looked pretty enough, nice little dresses but nothing that screamed religious conservative who wouldn’t be having any sex before marriage (although in honesty he was pretty sure if she said that was the case Soap may get down on one knee there and then).

“Right mate, actually give us some intel to work on here so we can provide some tactical support.”

Soap groaned, head still on the table but now flopped to the side so he could look at Gaz like the most pathetic puppy in the pound.

“Already told ye, she’s bonnie, got her head screwed on and has excellent patter but she disnae seem interested in anything physical. Fuck what if I need tae be with this lassie without pumping her? Like what if she’s just naw intae sex? Ye need tae put my wage up Captain so I can afford the metric fuckton of equipment I’m going tae need tae take care of myself for the rest of my life” he whined, really not doing much to seem less like a kicked mutt.

Gaz saw Price just roll his eyes affectionately before taking a drink of his pint while Ghost simply took about a thousand photos of pathetic puppy Soap. Big fucking help those two were.

“Seems like something she’d have put on her profile, you got it saved still?”

Soap returned his forehead to the table and blindly groped at his jeans to get his phone out, unlock it and hand it over.

“Got a folder for her, screenshot is in there” he mumbled into the table.

Gaz took the offered phone and found the folder. He winced a little because it was almost gross how obviously enamored he was based on the number of photos. Cute, but gross. He blinked a few times at the screenshot of the profile. Oh. Oh yeah ok. John MacTavish was an idiot and Gaz was not quite sure how to break this one to him gently. He didn’t have to because Ghost looked over his shoulder before smacking Soap hard on the head.

“What the fuck wis that for?!”

“Being a daft cunt. You said she flinched because you tried to feel up her tit and because of that you think she’s not into sex?”

“Well aye, what else dae I take away from that?”

“That she’s growing a set of tits and they’re tender as fuck Sergeant. Your girl wasn’t flinching because she didn’t like it, she was flinching because it probably gave her an ache that if you’re lucky shot straight between her thighs.”

“I… you’re messing wi’ me.”

Ghost just looked at him with some disgust while Gaz looked on in pity. Poor idiot Soap. Ghost and Price has shared a trans woman for a while he knew, so they would both be well aware of the basics. He hadn’t actually fallen into bed with a trans woman himself, but he had certainly had some good times with Farah and Alex. He never wanted to repeat the experience of not knowing what the fuck he was doing and accidentally hurting Alex by saying the wrong thing again, so he had made sure to learn the basics of not only trans men but really anyone that didn’t identify with their assigned gender. Soap had obviously just never even thought about it, hadn’t even considered that maybe he had to do some prep here.

“He’s not messing with you. It’s different for everyone but generally if you’re growing out some tits then there is going to be tenderness” he said gently.

“They can get real puffy too. You give them a good sucking and she’ll mew real nice for you. Got to take advantage of when they’re at their most tender, ” Price added, clearly reminiscing.

Soap perked up then, sitting up properly in his seat and looking at his team to make sure they were serious. He clearly found in their expressions that they were.

“Right, what dae I need tae ken so I can give this lassie enough orgasms tae fall in love with me?”

—

The atmosphere at dinner felt a little off. You put it down to your own nervousness, but Johnny seemed out of sorts as well. He was over-attentive and couldn’t seem to sit still, knee bouncing and hitting against the kitchen island you were sat at.

“Dinner was really nice” you said carefully, trying to get things back on track.

“Can I eat you for dessert?” he blurted.

Speech was not coming to you easily through the surprise. Nearly a year of very little happening between your thighs and now something was certainly happening. You were mortified, not willing to look down to see what was probably visibly poking against your little cotton dress. Johnny misinterpreted your reaction.

“Wait, naw in a cannibal way! I’m naw intae that. It’d be too much a pain in the arse tae cut ye up anyway and human isnae supposed tae taste that nice. Not that you widnae taste nice! I think ye’d taste lovely. But I’d never eat ye. Well naw, I want tae eat ye, but like out. I want tae eat ye out. Fuck I’m making a pure arse of this” he rambled, getting louder and louder as he started to pace the kitchen.

If there was anything to get you out of your own head, it was watching Johnny have an absolute meltdown in front of you. You bit back a laugh and stood, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop his pacing and then quickly turning into a blushing mess when his full attention turned to you. You chewed on your lip as you thought of what to say.

“If ye need your lip bit, let me dae it” he said, looking almost dazed as he stared at where your teeth sunk into plump flesh.

You blushed harder and squirmed under his attention, letting your eyes drop away from his and instantly making a choking noise when you caught sight of his incredibly prominent and impossibly large cock trying to punch a hole through his jeans. Your own throbbed in response, excitedly bouncing up against your stomach. You tried to shift your hands, give yourself some coverage.

“Tell me what words tae use” Johnny groaned, his nose nuzzling into your hair. “We dinnae need… if ye dinnae want tae do anything then we can just cuddle and watch a film, but fuck darlin’ I’ve been fucking my fist to the thought of you since I first laid eyes on ye. Want to ruin you bonnie girl.”

Your heart nearly exploded out of your chest. He wanted you. He wanted your body. He hadn’t seen it yet, but there was no way he could have missed what was going on downstairs with how close and eager he was. His hips had shifted forward and you could feel the tip of his hard cock brush against the arousal sitting hard at your stomach. You let out a tiny whine at that.

“Please” he groaned, strained.

You had never had a man beg for you before and it made delight spark through you.

“I.. um… well I’ve not, uh, had any work done” you said, mouth dry as you tried to work through the words and reel in the shame trying to drown out your arousal.

His hands settled on your waist and flexed a few times like he was trying to hold himself back.

“I’m naw going tae be able tae keep my mouth shut if I get tae have ye, so I just need tae know what words ye want me tae use. I’m naw much for the clinical kink but I can try using biological terms if ye want” he offered, although you could hear the distaste in his voice.

You didn’t think you would find Johnny spouting the words penis, testicles or anus very hot either, but you had thought… well you had thought you were sort of limited to using masculine terms for male biology. Only wasn’t the whole point that biological sex and gender were different things? If he was willing to try it out, you wondered how it would feel to use different terms.

“Fuck baby, where did your mind just wander off tae?”

When he whined at you, you only then noticed you had started rutting your hips against him at the thought of him eating you out. The thought of him getting his tongue on your clit and sucking.

“Would it be ok to use uh… for words I mean. You could, if you wanted, um…” you stuttered, too embarrassed to actually say the words out loud.

One of his hands moved from your waist to creep up underneath your dress and you nearly saw stars at the first touch of another person against you in a long time.

“Let’s start here, nice puffy pussy lips for me tae bury my face in?” he asked, fingers brushing across what you had always thought of as balls but now with a revelation were lips.

He was watching you carefully now, looking to see your reaction to his words and waiting for a nod before moving his hand up to where you were throbbing for him.

“I’ve been cruel, getting your pretty wee clit all swollen and throbbing this whole time and naw giving ye any relief haven’t I?”

“I- fuck, Johnny please” you moaned, sure he would undo you embarrassingly quickly.

“Aye? Ye like me playing with her?” he said, running his fingers over the very top. “Fuuuckk” he groaned, “fucking soaked for me, good girl, perfect fucking lassie.”

You wanted to scold him about his bad knee when he thumped down to the floor, but his head was beneath your dress and he was mouthing desperately at your panties before you could articulate the thought. He latched onto your clit through the wet cotton and sucked messily while one hand sunk into the meat of your ass and the other played with the sensitive lips of your pussy that were now spilling out around your panties. You could do nothing but grip his hair like a lifeline.

He slurped and sucked and drooled loudly, and the idea that he was doing this because it gave him a heady rush rather than purely for your benefit made you weak at the knees. He loved this. He was turning into a fucking dog at your feet for a taste of you. His fangs latched onto the cotton of your underwear and tugged until they were pulled down to your knees and gravity did the rest to pool them at your ankles before he left bites all over the inside of your thighs.

“Taste so good, fucking perfect, going tae make me cum in my jeans” he rambled, his words spoken into wet skin as his tongue just couldn’t stop long enough to properly speak.

He couldn’t stay in one place. He was at your lips, your clit, he was licking the seam of where your legs met your groin to drink the sweat that had gathered there as if he was dying of thirst and you were an oasis. His nails were clawing into you, fingers sinking into the soft pillow of your stomach only to leave their marks before moving to your ass and then your thighs and then back between your legs. It was like he didn’t know where to start, couldn’t focus on just one thing because he wanted it all at once.

“Let me eat you out, I’ve got tae eat you out bonnie, I’ll fucking die if I cannae get my tongue up your arse” he begged as his mouth started to make it’s way past your lips and to your tight hole.

Your fingers tightened in his hair just a little and almost instantly his head popped out from under your dress. Fuck. He was an absolute mess, your slick all over his face. It wasn’t limited to just his lips because he had been eager, he had pushed your fluids into his skin at every angle he could get. His big liquid eyes were glazed as he stared up at you from on his knees.

“What’s wrong?” you rasped, surprised that you could even speak right now.

“I didnae ask” he said, frowning and looking at you like the Goddess that could forgive his sins. “Need tae know where my tongue is going, if ye still want it. Where my fingers can sink intae ye. Please, need it, fucking need it.”

Jesus fuck. He was rutting against your foot, humping it with a whine in the back of his throat. You had never felt so powerful as you stared at him and ran a hand through his hair only to have him nuzzle his cheek into that hand.

“I want to see your cock Johnny” you said, no, ordered.

He fumbled to get his jeans off and there was a dull thud as his cock finally sprang free and smacked against his stomach. It was the fattest cock you had ever seen and you could already feel yourself go cross eyed at just the thought of the stretch. The thought of taking it in your cunt.

“Use your tongue and fingers to stretch out my pussy Johnny, stretch it out for your cock.”

There was something transcendent about being able to say it, being able to ask for your pussy to be fucked and for him to light up like you had just handed him the stars and the moon. He all but tackled you, another one for the bad knee you’d scold him for later, and threw you over his shoulder.

He didn’t really pause to get properly out of his jeans, just kicked them off on the way which nearly caused you both to tumble to the ground more than once. You couldn’t help the burst of laughter at his antics. You had been so scared of this for so long, but this was your Johnny. He was a goofball and loyal and desperate to please, you never needed to hide from him.

He did trip once you got into the bedroom, just about managing to toss you off onto the bed with a bounce while he went tumbling onto the floor and smacked his face on the mattress on the way down.

“Oh! Come here, let me see” you laughed, crawling to the edge of the bed and grabbing his head in your hands to find a dopey, dreamy smile on his face as he looked at you.

God, he was such an idiot. You leaned forward to kiss him, trying to pour your adoration into it but quickly finding he kissed your mouth much like he had kissed your clit earlier, sloppy and all over the place. He broke off just long enough to get his top off, tossing it without a care. He was a work of art fully naked and for a moment you balked at the thought of being naked next to him, but you didn’t have much time to consider it before he was on top of you and his mouth was latched onto your tit through you dress.

Your hips bucked up and you screeched in surprise. So fucking tender, my God your tits were so fucking tender. He wasn’t gentle, he was a dog with a bone and he was not about to let go.

“Fuck, oh my God fuck Johnny it’s so much, it’s too much!”

He slapped gently at your thigh.

“You can take it, strongest lassie in the world, need tae have your pretty tits in my mouth” he said, now straddling you and sitting up to just stare at your tits through your dress.

Now that he had gotten one side of the material wet it was sticking obscenely to your puffy nipple. You couldn’t wear bras. Your chest wasn’t big enough to need them yet, but they also were too much for how tender you were. You always had to wear looser fabric around your chest. He was fully fixated, his mouth open and slack and his eyes glossy.

“Need tae see them, let me see my girls” he said, starting to peel your dress up and over your head.

You let him. You couldn’t believe it, but you let him get you fully naked under him. You watched him carefully but there was nothing like disgust or disappointment in his face. There was fucking rapture there, there was disbelief as if he could not believe his luck, couldn’t believe that he could ever do anything to earn this privilege of seeing your body all swollen and aching and flushed under him.

He tweaked your nipple and then finally his eyes snapped to yours when you whined long and low.

“We’re going tae get clamps for these. I want tae tie you to the bed one night and spend the whole time torturing these fucking glorious tits before drowning them in my cum. Fuck. Fuck you’re so perfect. Play with them, please please fucking play with them while I eat your pussy. Need tae hear you make those noises again.”

“Yeah?”

“Aye darlin’, want ye twisting those nipples until ye cannae see straight.”

Your hands dutifully went to start playing with your tits, gingerly at first but a little rougher as you gained confidence and his head settled between your legs to start lapping at your cunt. The pain mixed with the pleasure was exquisite and you could feel your clit throbbing angrily with the need to cum.

“Johnny, want to cum with you inside me. Please” you groaned.

“Shh, got tae be patient for me bonnie girl, let me get ye all nice and stretched. Such a tight little cunt, needs some love tae get ready for my cock.”

“You’re so big, are you going to fit?”

You thought that was probably not a very sexy thing to ask but you genuinely had some doubts. He let out some feral noise and pushed his middle finger against your hole, using his tongue to relax the muscles enough that it popped in and sunk deep making your head thump back against the bed as you moaned.

“Ye’ll fucking make it fit. Strangling my finger, your cunt wants it. Fuck she wants my big, fat cock in her, I can tell with how wet ye are.”

You were wet, liquid drooling from your clit and his saliva everywhere, but he was quick to get a bottle out of the bedside table and absolutely drench your hole with lube.

“That’s it, fucking drooling for me aren’t ye girl?”

You glanced down to find he was not looking at you because it wasn’t you he was talking to. His full attention was at your twitching entrance as he pushed another finger in and started to scissor them to stretch you. His eyes flickered up to catch yours and he gave no warning before he smacked your clit hard to make you yowl.

“Get your fucking hands on those tits, dinnae make me ask again.”

You nearly came right there from the dominance in his tone.

“Yes, sir.”

It was torture playing with your sensitive tits while Johnny stretched you open. If you got distracted by the sensations and stopped playing with yourself he gave a warning slap to your ass to get you going again. You weren’t sure you had ever seem him so utterly concentrated on a task as he was opening you to take his cock.

He was so thorough and efficient that he had four fingers jammed into you before you even realised he had moved up to three. There wasn’t any sting to the stretch, or maybe you were too busy feeling the sharp ache from your tits to notice. He curled his middle finger and hit a spot that made your whole body convulse.

“Fuck baby that’s it, knew I’d find her didn’t I? Nearly got ye squirting from that g-spot. Going tae get my whole fist inside one day, going tae fucking get it in wrapped around my cock and wank off inside of ye” he said, clearly delighted with himself. “Need tae be inside ye. Fuck I need it.”

You looked at him to see he had a hand strangled around his angrily throbbing cock. He was kneeling up now, his fingers still inside of you as he looked at you for permission. Even now he still wanted to make sure he wasn’t fucking anything up.

“Johnny. Fuck me.”

He pulled his fingers out with a squelch and lined his cock up. The first push against your hole met resistance as it tried to keep the blunt head of him out, but with a few rocks the muscles gave way and he was inside you. Both of you sucked in a sharp breath and froze. He wasn’t moving yet, his cock only half way inside, but it was fucking life changing. It was right. It was so, so very right to have this man inside you.

“Fuck. So tight and hot and wet and perfect. Could stay inside this pussy forever” he whined, straining hard to keep himself still.

You rocked your hips up and he groaned, pulling a little out before thrusting back in, getting a little more of himself inside you each time until finally his heavy sack was smashed up against your pussy. He looked at you and you nodded.

“Hands above your head now darlin’” he said, wrapping his hands around the backs of your knees once you had complied and pushing so that your knees were up around your head. “Told ye that she’d make it fit, now I’m going tae fuck ye until you’re ruined for any other cock but mine.”

With a grunt he pulled out to the tip and drilled forward to bury himself fully inside you in one hard thrust that had you squealing and bucking your hips up. He only growled and pressed harder on your legs to get you pressed flat to the bed before he really started fucking you. Your hands met the headboard as you were shoved up the bed with the force of his thrusts.

You felt like you were having an out of body experience, like you were watching yourself get impaled and finally seeing yourself as every bit of woman that you had worried you weren’t all this time.

“Not going tae last, need ye tae cum for me. Want it all over the fucking sheet, want ye tae squirt everywhere” Johnny growled above you.

You were so fucking close with him hitting the spot with every thrust. You were already drooling with arousal and everything was swollen and throbbing and ready to burst.

“Then I’m going tae give ye my cum, going tae fuck it so deep, fucking drown your cunt and get ye round with my fucking kids.”

You whined and felt yourself tense, ready for your whole body to let go, but his pace stuttered and you pulled back from the edge. You wanted to cry.

“Fuck fuck fuck, we didnae talk about that. I didnae ask” he said, horror on his face.

He was back to that pleading puppy, so scared he had hurt you as he released your legs. He had just ruined your orgasm and his by the looks of how tense he was and how his cock throbbed inside you because he was worried that a breeding kink was going to distress you. Oh fuck, you were so in love with this stupid, wonderful idiot. You grabbed his face in your hands and brought it down to yours as your legs came to settle around his waist with your heels crossed behind his ass.

“Johnny I’m fine. It’s hot. I love you for checking, but if you don’t fuck a baby into me right this second and make me squirt then I’m going to go in a shower and take care of myself.”

“Hold on then gorgeous lassie” he replied with a grin and what you swear were teary eyes before he started fucking into you again.

It wasn’t as frantic or aggressive as before, it was a sensual roll as he held you tight. It was intimate and loving and perfect and when he reached between you to play with your clit you broke beautifully and felt your release streak hot and sticky against your stomach.

“Good girl, now take it” he moaned as he thrust hard three more times before emptying himself deep inside of you.

The collapsing weight of him was suffocating but comforting and you just laughed in disbelief that this had just happened and hugged him to you. After a moment you groaned as your tits were overstimulated from the skin contact and your cunt was feeling sore as he rutted even while softening. He chuckled to himself and lifted off of you. His cock leaving you caused a bit of a wince, he really was huge.

He propped himself up by your side and lazily played with his own cum oozing from your cunt, scooping it up and pushing it back inside. After a few moments of you both catching your breath he leaned over and kissed you softly.

“You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met. I love you, bonnie lassie.”

“I love you too.”

—

Soap had barely walked into the pub before Ghost and Price swore up a storm and handed over a tenner to Gaz. He collected his winnings smugly. It might have seemed a safe bet to them that Soap would fuck it up, but if there was one thing that Gaz knew for certain it was that even a mutt could be trained when they had the right motivation. And the dopey grin on the 141 mutt’s face told him that he had indeed found that motivation in between the legs of his pretty girl.

[katy-l-wood]

Beta Search

I'm looking for a beta (or a few) for my new book who is willing to read it in chunks as I get them done. The book is heavily based around wildland firefighting, and that's something I know enough about that I don't know what isn't common knowledge anymore, so I'm looking for someone that knows nothing or next to nothing about wildland firefighting and can point out anything that's confusing to the average person. (Other feedback is also welcome! That's just the one main thing I know I need to get checked right off the bat, lol.)

These are three of the major characters. Left to right we've got:

Theo: second in command of his family's private wildland firefighting company, The Torch Crew, which was started in the fifties by his grandfather. Doing his best to keep the company alive despite the mismanagement of his much older second cousin who currently owns and runs it. Definition of "he a little confused but he got the spirit" queer ally.

Maddie: Theo's best friend. Trans woman. Takes no shit and is trying very hard to get Theo to stop taking his second cousin's shit. Very good at cutting down very scary trees and making it look easy. Lives by the mantra of "not my monkeys, not my circus" as much as possible, but when she jumps in she jumps IN.

Andreas: Main character. Asexual. 20 years old. College dropout who only joined the family firefighting company because he didn't know what else to do with himself. Nearly dies on page one and in the process accidentally ends up enmeshed in a bunch of nonsense with several Greek Gods, kicking off the plot.

Said plot, without giving too much away at this point, involves a lot of natural disaster and Andreas trying to navigate what it means to be favored by the gods, especially when at least one of those gods has it out for the existence of all mortals.

Overall themes of sacrifice, what sacrifice means, responsibility for the climate, and power as an individual vs. a collective.

I have about 30k written so far, and I'm thinking it'll end up around 80-100k, and will be a standalone. I'd send it to you in probably 2-3 chapter chunks as I get them done, plus that 30k chunk that's already done. I'd appreciate relatively quick feedback (weeks rather than months).

If you're interested, please DM me! I'd like to do this over Discord if possible, if not, email is fine. And it would be using Word for feedback as I don't use Google Docs.

I'll turn off reblogs when I've found enough people, so if reblogs are on I'm still looking. :)

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 6

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Series Masterlist : The Last of Us Masterlist : Full Masterlist

Summary: For week 4 of my pride event: Food, fun, fashion. Joel, Sarah, Blue, and

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

A/N: Not to sound like a 2012 wattpad writer but I cried writing this.

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Joel woke up to the smell of pancakes. When he looked at his watch, he was shocked to find it was 11:45 pm. He couldn't believe it, he hadn’t slept later than 7 since… well since Sarah’s birth, probably. 

Memories of last night flooded to him. Blue. Kayla. Sarah screaming for him. Telling him Kayla threw her art away. Finding out Kayla let strange men around her… Joel rubbed his eyes, sighting deeply before staggering out of the small bed. How had him and Tommy and Sarah managed to sleep in here all night?

Joel’s heart swelled with love for his brother. He was a good man, despite his troubles, despite his addictions. He was a good uncle. Checking his phone, he saw 3 missed calls from Blue, and a few texts along the lines of “where are you?”. Shit. You were missed, he knew it. Joel’s heart began to beat rapidly, warmth flooding all over his body as he dreaded your reaction. Would you scream at him the way Kayla did? Or were you more the type to ignore him until he came begging. Would you accuse him of cheating on him with Kayla? He would never cheat on anyone, let alone you, and let alone with Kayla. How could he convince you on that? It probably looked suspicious… shit, and right after you and him made love for the first time?

He decided to get it over with, hitting the call back button with shaking hands.

“Hey! Joel, are you-” He’s too panicked, crouched over in Sarah’s small bed with his feet planted to the floor, jittering, for Joel to hear the concern in your voice.

“Blue, I’m so sorry I didn’t call back, I’m really, really sorry, it was a disaster at Kayla’s, Sarah was screaming, and, and we got home and she was just so upset, me and Tommy slept inthe bed with her-”

“Joel?”

It was with the call of your voice Joel realized it was getting hard to breathe, his head feeling light.

“Yeah?”

“I need you to breathe with me.”

Like a couple of times before, you guide him through breathing, you notice his change and without judging you simply walk him through it. It was easy, when you worked him through it. 

When it was all said and done, you continued on, not patronizing him or needing to talk about it. You just go back to the question. “Is Sarah okay?”

Joel took another breath. “Yeah, yeah” He sighed out. “She’s okay. Had a dream me and Tommy died on the farm, Kayla… well she locked her in her room. It was bad.”

Joel heard you sigh on the other end. “Shit, that’s awful Joel. I’m really sorry. How is she this morning?” He could tell you cared.

“Oh, I uh… I don’t know. I just woke up. Tommy’s downstairs with her…”

Your laugh on the other end makes him smile a little. “You slept in a princess bed all night, handsome?”

He laughed back. “Built it, might as well use it, I guess.”

“Well, thanks for calling me back, I was a little worried. You okay?”

He swore he could still feel the sting of the slap on his face. “Yeah, I’m okay.” as long as she was, so was he.

“Okay. Go see you’re daughter, cowboy.”

He paused. “You don’t… got any questions?”

“Like what?”

“Like… you’re not worried I slept with Kayla? Since I didn't respond?”

“Did you?”

“No, not a chance.” He’d been down one time, never going back again. 

“Then that's that. Never even crossed my mind, Joel. If I thought you were a cheater, I wouldn’t be with you.”

How different you were. 

“Listen, Sarah’s had a tough night, I wanna spend time with just her and Tommy this weekend, but… wanna meet her in a couple days?”

“Yes!” You sounded so excited. “I would love that so much!”

“I thought maybe we take her to the park together, get some Olive Garden after, talk to her about us.”

When Joel finalized plans, he walked downstairs to find Sarah on the counter laughed and giggling while Tommy sprayed whipped cream on her nose, Sarah struggling to lick it with her tongue before Tommy kissed her. Whipped cream went everywhere, and Sarah laughed so hard she was practically screaming. When she saw him, Sarah stood on the counter and Joel opened his arms for Sarah to jump right in. “I love you so much, baby girl.” He turned to Tommy and mouthed a thank you.

*

Wednesday came soon enough, Joel rushing to pick Sarah up and struggling to drive the speed limit with her in the car. Once in, Tommy thankfully took Sarah to get her a snack and entertain her so Joel could get ready. He showered, scrubbing down every inch. He didn’t need to scrub his ass, pits, and feet that much, it’s not like you were getting up in there today. You wouldn’t be sleeping over. But he needed this to go perfect.

Little did he know, you were on the other side of town stressing yourself out. You’d met Sarah briefly so she’s already a little familiar with you but you were still nervous. This needed to go perfect.

Joel was your dream man. He was responsible, sober, kind. He was a god dad and that was fucking hot. You loved him, loved his cute, slightly pudgy face, loved his soft heart and gentle, calloused hands. You loved that he cared so deeply for Sarah, Tommy, Tess, the way he respected everyone around him from the McDonald’s drive through worker to your best friend, sitting across from you.

“Babe, you look gorgeous.”

“I know I’m gorgeous!!” You stomp your feet a little in a faux fit. “I need to scream ‘step mom’ material”

Talia rolled her eyes. “The way it sounds, Sarah needs a mom mom still.”

“Girl.” You deadpan. “I hear you, but you heard the lecture Joel gave Tommy, he still respects her as the mother of his child. And Sarah loves her mom. I’m not tryna make waves with that crazy bitch either. I would like for all of us to work together for her.”

“You know what Tess told me?”

You try putting your hair up in the mirror, trying to pull a more teacher aesthetic. “What?”

“She said once, when Joel and her were broken up, Kayla thought Joel and Tess were sleeping together and she went to her house in the middle of the night screaming she was going to kill her.”

You laugh, and immediately feeling bad. “Sorry, sorry, that’s not funny” but you were still laughing. “It’s just…” Another giggle “Tess is NOT the one to be playing with.” You grab a scarf for your hair, Talia saying she needed to see it normal and cool.

“No! Not at all!” Talia was laughing with you. “She answered the door with a fucking gun to her face, Tess said she looked like she was about to piss herself!”

“Tess ever show you any pictures? I ain’t got no idea what she looks like.” You continue looking in the mirror.

Talia shakes her head. “No, but she ain’t got hair like mine. Didn’t know shit about Sarah’s hair. Joel knows more than her.”

“Yeah.” You sigh, dreamily at the thought of your loving boyfriend washing his sweet girl’s hair. “He’s great, ain’t he?”

Standing up, Talia wraps your arm around you. Your oldest friend, your rock, your sister. “He’s a good one. But babe? Ditch the leather.”

You look down, then at her in the mirror. “Skirt?”

“Blue jeans.” She taps your thigh. “For fucks sake, Blue, wear some fucking blue jeans for once in your life.”

*

“Talia I’m gonna throw up”

You stood outside Joel home, you could even hear him telling Tommy, ‘For the love of god, please switch the clothes to the dryer’. Still your nerves were off the hook.

“You’ve literally met her before.”

“But not like this!”

“Blue, babe, I spent an afternoon with them. She’s a sweet girl, easy to please. She’s gonna love you, just like all your school kids do.”

She was right. You were a loved teacher. “Okay. Okay. It’s gonna be fine. It’s gonna be fucking fine.”

“Hell yeah. Go get ‘em.”

You knock, then hear clamoring. ‘Tommy don’t you-’

But Tommy Miller opened the door, cheeky grin on her face as he leaned on the doorframe. “Heya Blue, glad to see you and Joel made it offi- Hey!” Tommy was yanked away as you laugh, Joel appearing and whispering in a harsh tone that Sarah doesn’t know yet, that’s the whole point of today.

He turns to you, soft smile on his face. “Sorry about him, come on in.” You wanted to kiss him, but it wasn’t time yet.

“Sarah?” Joel calls. “Come downstairs baby girl!”

You can hear the pitter patter of little feet in shoes down the stairs, Sarah flying into the hall with a bright smile and cute, casual clothes. “Hi!”

She was even cuter than you remembered, and the, albeit adorable, photo of her in Joel’s wallet and the three on his pickup dash and one inside his ballcap did not do her justice. How could her mom not want to be around her?

“Hi Sarah, remember me?”

“Yeah! Your name’s Blue, like the color in your hair.”

You chuckle a little, fighting the desire to take Joel’s hand for your own anxiety. “Well, close. That’s not my real name, but that’s what everyone calls me, so you can too!”

“Are you dating my daddy?”

Joel looked like he was about to panic. He planned a whole outing, a nice dinner (as nice as he could afford) and wanted to have a heart to heart. Sarah needed to approve. If Sarah wasn’t ready for this, you knew Joel would end it and you wouldn’t blame him. Poor baby has been through so much instability, she doesn’t need more. “Your dad and I are friends. We want to explain more, but thought we’d take you out for some fun first, how does that sound?”

Sarah lit up, ignoring her previous question. “Oh yes!” She turned to Joel. “Daddy please can we go?”

Smiling fondly, Joel patted her head, careful not to mess up the braids Talia taught him. “Darl’n, I already told you we were going out! Come on, vamnos.”

*

The day went swimmingly, Joel delighted in watching you run around on the playground with her while the weather was still nice. Goddamn, your ass looks good in jeans. Well, it looked good in leather… and in a dress… but GODDAMN the blue jeans… blue jeans! Fuck, you were everything he wanted, and it seemed Sarah loved you. Sarah, Tommy, Tess… the opinions that mattered most, all liked you, loved you even. As for Joel, in these short few months, he couldn’t imagine not having you going forward. The timing worked out suspiciously well. For the first month of real, honest togetherness, Sarah was with her mom more, allowing time together. Now that it blew as it always does, you and here were meeting and it was going great. Tommy had even come by the park to hang out for a little, the four of you spending family time- family? Was he considering you family already? He was in deep.

You’d taken her shopping as promised, insisting on buying her a dress as a treat. Sarah then made an off comment about her Kindergarten friend, Ellie, and wishing her and Ellie could match some day. She said Ellie ‘wasn’t living with her mommy and daddy’. Joel had sussed out a while ago that she was a foster kid.It wasn’t meant to be asking for anything, but you made her absolute day by buying another one for her to bring to Ellie. She hadn’t stopped talking about them matching for an hour, and Joel was a little worried Ellie might reject it. He’d only ever seen Ellie t-shirts and jeans, usually dirty. He didn’t think she’d like a rainbow dress.

Sarah then insisted you buy a dress, and you even let her pick out one for you. While trying it on, Joel couldn’t help stifle a laugh as you walked out in a hot pink poofy dress, looking like a fish out of water. It wasn’t that you looked bad; you were beautiful, of course but… clearly, this was not your style. Still, you smile and humor Sarah when she says you look “like a princess!!!”

As Joel watches Sarah “push” you down the slide and you turning around to surprise her by snatching her up on the way down and Tommy yelling to scare you both at the bottom, he feels his eyes tear up, just a tiny bit. This is what his future could look like.

*

At dinner, Tommy ended up coming along. If things went badly, Sarah could get some space with her favorite uncle. Dessert ordered, Joel grabbed your hand. It was time.

“Sarah, there’s something we’d like to talk to you about.” Joel glanced at Tommy sitting next to her. Tommy gave a soft, reassuring smile. He breathed, like how you taught him when feeling anxious, and continued as Sarah stuffed a breadstick in her mouth. “You asked if Blue and I are dating and… we are. I don’t want to keep secrets from you, and I want you to know you will always be my number one, okay?”

Sarah looked between the two of you. “So… you’re not marrying mommy?”

Joel held his breath for a moment at the mention of Kayla. “No, baby girl. Your mommy will always be special to me, but we aren’t getting married. We will always be a family, but not in that way.” 

She nods, thoughtfully. “Okay… I guess mommy was wrong. I won’t tell her.”

With that, Joel locks eyes with Tommy for a moment, then Sarah again. “No, no baby. You can tell your mommy, you don’t have to keep secrets from us, okay?” He squeezed your hand. “Did mommy say she was gonna marry me?”

Quickly, Sarah’s face turned sour, shifting uncomfortable and not looking at Joel anymore. “Daddy I wanna go home.”

Joel turned to you. He was confused how things turned so bad with her so fast. “Okay baby, we can go…”

“Joel?” You grab his attention. “May I?”

He hesitated, always trying to be the one to fix Sarah… but you worked with kids, maybe you could help. He nods.

“Sarah hunny, wanna step outside with me?”

*

By the time she got outside, little tears with in her eyes, and redness sprinkled on her face. 

“Sarah.”  You crouch down to her level. “Can we tell me what’s wrong? I promise I’ll try to help you. I want to help you.”

Her lip quivered, and before long Sarah was bawling in your arms. “Mommy has a boyfriend but she says she’s marrying daddy but daddy is dating you but mommy said not to tell anyone about any of it but I told daddy and now mommy is gonna be so mad! She’s always mad at me, she’s mad when she brushes my hair and when I don’t like dinner and when I can’t read the words and now she’ll be mad again!”

Your teacher's senses were tingling. You were better than to ask too many prying questions, but didn’t want to just leave it. “What does she do when she’s mad?” You stroke her back. 

“Yells sometimes. Sometimes she doesn’t talk to me.” She starts calming down, getting the tears out still.

You were relieved. “I’m so sorry that happens to you, beautiful. You absolutely do not deserve it. You are a smart, thoughtful, kindheart and beautiful girl and there is nothing you can do to deserve being ignored or yelled at, okay? But your daddy and your uncle Tommy love you so, so much, and you can trust your daddy with anything. You don’t have to keep secrets, but he will keep yours. He won’t tell your mommy what you said, and you don’t have to keep me a secret.”

A few minutes and a tissue to her sweet face later, Sarah was happily eating chocolate mousse cake and telling Tommy not to eat it.

*

Joel scrubbed his face, stressed at what you filled him in on. After watching Matilda, you hung out with Tommy while Joel put a sleeping Sarah to bed. Once she was safe and secure, Joel spending a little time just sitting by her head, he left her be. She was wearing a headscarf protecting her hair, something she did not take off tonight for the first time. You made it look cool to her.

After interrupting you and Tommy’s loud laughing, you three watched some evening TV before you called it a night, citing drop-off duty. When he walked you to your motorcycle, fretting over the darkness you’d be riding home in. Once alone, you filed him in on what Sarah said.

“She’s under so much stress, and she’s only 5.” He said with a little whine, frustrated and obviously feeling like he’s failing.

You take your boyfriend into your arms. “Joel… baby you’ve done everything to protect her, to make her feel beautiful loved and be happy. She is obsessed with you and Tommy… and her mom, but for the wrong reasons. She wants the approval you and Tommy give her from her mom but… you can’t make Kayla change.”

“I don’t wanna keep her away from her mom, it ain’t right. A girl needs a mom- or um… Sarah needs her mom, not that all girls need a mom or a dad or-”

You cut him off, chuckling. “I know what you mean Joel.”

He clears his throat, still hugging you, seeming to hide his face in your neck. “I’m sorry, I know I say stuff like that and it may not come off like an alley, but I promise I love all y’all. You, Tess, Bill and Frank even if Bill is a grump. Talia too, I care about her a lot.”

“I know, baby. I know. It’s not you, it’s just the words and phrases our language is built around. But I agree, Sarah is a girls girl.” You pull back, cupping his face. “I’m not trying to take Kayla’s place, but I want you to know, if our relationship keeps progressing, I wanna be that girl for Sarah. I wanna be there for her, for her school dances and getting make up and all the fun activities she’ll go to, buy her cute barbies and,” You giggle. “Let her take it out on me when she has bad hair days or break out. Although you and I are both gonna have fly by the seat of our pants in the puberty department.”

He chuckles too, but the moon glistens in his eyes. “You really wanna be with me that long?”

“Joel, right now, I never wanna be away from you.”

Joel tucks your head in, gently kissing your forehead. “Me neither. Thank you for… being willing to do this at Sarah’s pace. At my pace.”

“Of course. I’m not in any hurry, I want you both to be okay.”

Joel loved that you cared about Sarah so much, cared about her well-being. For a while, he just held you, feeling you close, the warmth of your body. He couldn’t help think of last weekend, knowing you intimately. He thought you’d feel different than other women he’d been with, and it did. But not because you were trans, but because it was you. You were special. The physical feeling of sex was indistinguishable but the emotional connection he had with you was unlike any other. He loved Kayla, he really did. But it was never like this. He loved Tess in a different sort of way, a bond that was stronger than what he had with Kayla, something deeper but even then, sex with her wasn’t like this. 

No one was like you.

“Do you want more kids?” Your voice broke him out of it, and he looked into your eyes. The moon shone off the blue in your hair, pulling his gaze for just a second. “Like, another one?”

He blinked, “Oh. Can you…?” He didn’t think you could have kids… did the surgery include adding other things?

It was clear you were trying not to laugh. “No, no unfortunately, the science isn’t there…” There is a little look of sadness, of longing, even as your eyes glittered with laughter. “That’s why I’m asking, I guess… Because I can’t…”

Joel considers this. He hadn’t really thought about it, being so busy with taking care of Sarah and not having romantic prospects… but the idea of another… he loves it. He loves Sarah and it's hard to imagine loving another kid that much… but Sarah would be a good sister and he would love another child… him and Kayla used to talk about a big family.

“I would, but… it’s not contingent. It’s not everything. Getting along with Sarah is. Tommy and Tess liking you is very important. But having kids… isn’t.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, relaxing a bit as you go in for a gentle kiss. “We could always adopt.”

He felt a smile growing. “Yeah, yeah we could.”

You squeeze his buttcheek, then mount your bike and put on your helmet. “Let’s get through Thursday first, cowboy.”

Joel smiled as you started the bike up. “I love you, Blue. Thanks for today.”

“Anything for you.”

Joel-y Poel-y Ole-y you sweet sweet man1!!!!!

PROTECT SARAH AT ALL COSTS!

Im so happy with this series. Next chapter wont be part of a theme but its whats needed to move things forward.

Enjoy the happy! It wont last!

How to keep up with the series:

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[aluria-sevhex]

ToT Bonnie i love you but that is not how it's pronounced

NOW FOR MY NOTES, COPIED FROM MY NOTES APP INSTEAD OF SCREENSHOTTED THIS TIME (edit: put it under a read more because long)

ACT 2

-THE TIPS ON HOW TO PLAY ARE FUCKING DIAGETIC?

-"stardust" are you the starhead bitch from the trailers

-i feel like i'll have to ask the librarian for a book eventually

-THE RUNNING ONE IS CALLING OUT SIF LOL (for running from his problems) (hmmmm Sif what problems r u running from?)

-ugh. it's the starhead bitch

-plot twist the star head is Siffrin and that's why he's depressed :P

-their name is Loop. i don't trust them

-"Yeah, better know this one's pronouns so you can think very clearly in your head that they're getting on your nerves."

-LOOP CAN READ THE PROFILES? WHAT KIND OF META BULLSHIT IS THIS </positive i fucking love meta bullshit>

-hm is Loop some sort of weird representation of the player. or a god.

-learn WHAT?

-hm feel like this game might explore some of the moral iffiness that tends to arise with time loops. is a friendship genuine if one person knows exactly what the other will say?

-"don't eat pineapples. you're allergic" fuck you. i WILL eat pineapples and i WILL enter anaphylaxis and i WILL die stupidly but it will be WORTH IT

-WAIT HOLD UP WHAT WAS THAT DIALOGUE IN THE >> TUTORIAL "don't make the same mistakes i did" I THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID HOLD UP

-maybe Loop was a normal person who got stuck in a time loop for too long and fucked up somehow? and that's why they're like this

-idk if i'll zone out much i don't wanna miss any differences

-altho if there's a difference won't i zone back in?

-then again there's a lot of dialogue

-maybe this will be plot-important somehow?

update after being gone for a bit:

-Tears weewoo

-SIFFRIN SAID NYA

-side note i am so glad i fought that thing that dropped the crest even tho it was hard. fighting it again on future loops is gonna suck tho

-also fun fact right after i died to the Tears i ran ahead and accidentally got crushed by the rock again. which i think is bullshit because I RAN TO THE SIDE OF THE ROOM

-back to more important things. like Siffrin saying nya. or the thyme pun.

-ODILE SAID IT. look she has a phd or whatever equivalent there is here probably, she's like 40, i think she's earned the right to do whatever the fuck she wants

-Isabeau is AOBB (Assigned Omelette By Bonnie)

-"It'd be awful to keep yourself from becoming a person you feel comfortable with just because it would upset someone else."

Breaking news: the game where the protagonist uses he/they, two other major characters use they/them, and there is a conversation explicitly referencing pronouns and giving them, unsurprisingly supports trans rights

-BONNIE DO NOT EAT THE EGG KEYCHAIN

-BONNIE HAS A WOK >:D

-uh... why are the Vaugardians freaking out over crab. does the Change religion ban it?

-Vaugarde is weird. first, they have a VERY SPECIFIC RULE where entering the FIRST ROOM of a house is fine, but any further is rude. second: crabs??? ok i guess???

-an openphrase... ya mean a password?

-fuck it i am fully in "taking gratuitous extensive notes" mode

-hehe protector craft is gullible :P

-oh hey tasteful artistic nudes. so this room's resident is an art student. hopefully their grasp of anatomy was improved :]

-Mira said what the crab instead of what the hell

-"what the CRAB did you let Bonnie do when we said no!!!"

-YOU LET THE PRE-TEEN DRINK VODKA???

-LMAOOOOOOOO IT WAS WATER. I LOVE HOW MUCH OF A LITTLE SHIT SIFFRIN IS

-checked it again. the people are "doing fun things" eh so what if an art student draws porn, that's on me for peeking ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ still hope it improved their grasp of anatomy. if the anatomy was bad and the narration didn't tell me i would be disappointed in it :P

-ooo drawn tarot card. isn't the Six of Swords a bad one? i feel like it's foreshadowing somehow but i don't feel like looking its meaning up

-i fucking hate the triplet Sadnesses they're so annoying

-the reason the Mandela Effect with Berenstein/Berenstain happened is because Sif equipped the e

-OH? saving records party progress if you loop back to that spot :0

-yippee i beat the Sadness boss that changes its type (this is like the first enemy that does that i think)

-Mira are you hungry

-YEAH LET'S FUCKIN' EAT

-this question keeps popping in my head but where the fuck IS Siffrin from plot twist the kid was right and he's from the sky idk i'm saying random shit

-SNACK TIME

[bloopblopbeepbop]

Ima say my head canons for the Vat7k people. Why because I want to.

The first person Hugo.

Goes by- Hugo

Full original name- Helenor Hugo Rottewage

Full new name- Hugo Helenor Rottewage

Age- 19

Pronouns- Trans - f to m, then gender fluid(she, he, they)

Sexuality- pansexual

Family- Donella-mom, Cyrus- uncle, Stalyan/Caine- older sisters, Kira/Catilana- younger sisters, Nuru- self proclaimed sister, Yong- son, Varian- best friend to boyfriend, Rapunzel- later claimed Hugo as her sibling, Olivia- partner in crime and pet.

Bit of background- was in a orphanage with Lance and Eugene and they were a group then did crime together then things happened( piano incident ), later met the snuggling duckling crew and then had to leave, kira and catilana found them wounded then helped then hugo taught them crime, worked with Stalyan and Caine doing hiest. Met many others like Andrew, who tried to kill him at one point.

Head canons

• has the most trauma

• Only one with a middle name.

• Can't swim ( has almost drowned many many times ( Don had tried so hard to teach her ( failed miserably after they almost drowned)))

• masked emotions

• Ruddiger one time put truth serum and personality switch position into her drink once.

• Made Olivia at the age of 10

• Has almost died more times than he has been alive, she brushes it off like nothing.

• Favorite color is green

• almost lost his arm during the trials, only after did she lose her arm the same way they almost lost it to. Falling off a cliff then catching themselves on a branch with there right arm.

• Head librarian and second head Royal Engineer

• got top surgery at the age of 13 because Don said it would be better to wait till their older to do it.

• Has more scars the Eugene and Lance combined( so a lot). To hide scars they wear long sleeves, pants, and fingerless gloves.

• his Goggles are prescription so she doesn't need to wear goggles over their glasses

• Made Eugene read the Flynn Rider book to him very often.

• Always wanted to go by Hugo instead of Helenor. Told this to Eugene and Lance once and they started calling him Hugo.

• birthday curse started at the age of 5 ended at the age of 20 ( the group made it to the eternal library and everything went down(betrayal/possession))

• Hugo and Eugene only didn't get along at first because of the past. Forced to talk it out. (Worked)

• Got the nickname thing from Eugene

• during the trials they were the only person who knew how to do, style, and cut hair. ( he did so many haircuts for them.)

• made robots like Olivia for Kira, Catilana, and Yong ( she made there favorite animal)(also they were Christmas gifts)

• Tied with Nuru for best fashion knowledge.

• Wanted in all 7 kingdom but all 7 wanted posters are different. All have a different name. ( 1. Hugo the human 2. The Emerald theif 3. Duke of theives 4. Betrayer of theives 5. The shadow bandit 6. Rottewage 7. The hooded theif)

• During the trials he was the best for medical.

Welp thats how I head canon Hugo. (1/7)

[ch1l1cheesefr1es]

Jealousy, plain ol' Jealousy

Merle Dixon x Trans masculine reader

Context: you and Merle reunite, the governor assigns the two of you on a mission to find Michonne. First try you couldn't find her, so Merle told the governor, he came back seeming a bit off and you both go looking for her again, he tells you whats wrong and you put matters in your hands ;)

Warnings: +18, nudity, hard sex,age gap, flirting, violence, slurs (f!ggot, Tranny, etc. This is my first time making a book like this so I hope I don't offend anyone, i might make a part 2 of this)

Merle and you have been frenemies since the two of you were kids, but had been sepearated later after Merle's mother had died. Later on, Merle found you, andrea and Michonne. He took the three of you to a place called Woodbury, a large and well-protected community. You didn't trust it, but it was nice to see a familiar face even though you both HATED eachother back then, nowadays he calls you "Fruitcake" and it pisses you off "you're not funny, you know that big boy?" you said in a firm tone, Merle backed away with his signature smirk "OooOoo did I hit a nerve Fruitcake?" he said in playful tone, and his accent, oh how you hated it, everytime you heard it you just wanted to punch him in the face you were about to but the governor had called the two of you "Boys! Come 'ere!" he yelled, you and Merle looked at eachother and walked to his place, he told you that Michonne had left the camp, he assigned the two you to go look for her with the others, the entire time you and Merle picked on eachother. Even after being attacked by Michonne you couldn't help but laugh after Merle got punched in the nuts, even though you had been punched aswell. She escaped and Merle killed some kid...whatever his name was.

. . .

After Merle had killed the kid, I looked at him. He hasn't changed, we both walked beside eachother and I barely said anything on the way back, Merle's the first to break the silence "I'm gonna go tell the governor 'bout this, and if you tell 'em that I killed that kid, I'll slit your throat." he told me in a firm tone as his finger pressed against my chest, I didn't flinch. Almost everyone was afraid "Big bad ol' Merle" but not me. I just saw him as an old friend, not a monster. He walked away and i sat down in a bench, a minute turned into 10 minutes, and 10 minutes turned into hours, it had been midnight already and no one was outside. Until finally, Merle came back, I looked up at him waited for him to tell me about the mission, but he seemed...off. He looked like he was spacing out and had no emotion in his face "Uh....Merle?" I asked, he had snapped back into reality "W-what Fruitcake?" he asked, he was back to his old self again "what'd the boss say?" I look up at him, he looked at me with his blue eyes and said "The Governor wants us to look for her again." he then walked to the entrance of Woodbury "R....right now?" I asked as he walked away "YES!" he yelled, I got up and followed him "he wants us to go far out" He had told me "to go look for her? didn't you say the walkers'll get to her before we do?" I asked with a smirk, Merle then slapped me hard in the face "Shut the fuck up you fucking f!ggot." he said, I wanted to punch him so badly but I couldnt...I stayed quiet as me and him got in a car, he seemed stressed while he was driving, so I gathered up some courage and asked "what's up with you?" he looked at me and sighed "you really think im gonna tell you about my life problems Girlie?" he told me, that moment, I had snapped.

"You know what? Fuck you Merle. It's not my fault you had a sad childhood, and that your dad was a dickhead, I never did shit to you and you always treat me like this! I am not a girl! I'm a boy. And if you can't get that through that thick skull of yours i'll shoot a bullet into it." you told him, Merle looked at you with shock, he had never seen you this mad, or even snap at him. He sighed "Alright, fine. I ain't feelin' myself today... My joints are hurting like a bitch from yesterday's brawl and I haven't had no sleep worth speakin' of, and the governor had sex with that blondie. But we gotta find that son-of-a-bitch before it hits mornin', so suck it up and help me out." he told you, you were shocked at how easy it was to get him to talk "is that it? That you were just jealous because someone else had sex with Andrea?" you asked with a little laugh, he scoffed "It ain't got nuthin' to do with her... I just can't stand the way he goes around, thinkin' he can take whatever he wants." he mumbled, you knew what Merle had gone through, Especially Daryl. And all you wanted to do, was to make all the stress go away. You then had an idea, it was risky but you couldn't help it, you slowly slid your hand to Merle's thigh, he was in deep thought and didn't think anything of it at first, so you took things a bit more further. You then slid your hand under his pants, he had snapped back into reality and looked at you "what the fuck do ya think you're doing D/N!?" he had called you by your deadname, which made you grip his member on accident, he groaned and almost crashed, he let out a groan as he tried to keep himself focused on the road. You couldn't help but grin at this, you started to stroke him at a slow pace, his grip on the steering wheel tightened and his breathing got heavy "I swear to god D/N don't do something you'll later regret..." you frowned and corrected him "My name isn't D/N, It's Y/N." you stroked him faster he bit his bottom lip, you Remembered him doing that when you had seen him talking with Andrea, you felt him thrust his hips up, begging for more. You couldn't help but rub your thumb against the slit of his dick, Merle bit his lip so hard that blood started dripping from his lip. He then snapped "ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKER YOU ASKED FOR IT." he parked the car somewhere safe and pushed you to the back seat "what about the mission Merle?" you asked him "Fuck the mission, we'll just tell the governor we couldn't find her, won't we boy?" he said, your eyes widened when he called you boy, even Merle noticed and smirked, you nodded as he climbed to the backseat with you, you couldn't help but blush as he was above you. He laughed and held your cheek, slowly leaning in and finally pressing his lips against yours, he started gentle but deepened the kiss as you wrapped his arms around him, feeling his tongue trying to slide its way between your teeth, asking for more. You couldn't help but give in to his desires, his tongue dancing with yours, he tasted so weird but you weren't complaining. He pulled away, a string of saliva coming from your mouths, he then grabbed your shirt and pulled it off, seeing the scars under your pecs "well ain't that a sight." he traced the scars with his fingers, you felt happy for some reason, it wasn't because you were feeling horny, but because Merle finally accepted you being Trans. He kissed the scars under your pecs, going all the way down to your waist, he pulled down your pants and saw how wet you were for him "still got a pussy Fruitcake?" he said in a playful tone, you frowned and told him "Fuck you Merle..." you mumbled, you then gasped when you felt him trace your folds, he held your hips and laughed "you're a virgin aren't ya? Go on Fruitcake...dont be shy, are ya?" he asked, you couldn't help but nod "well don't worry boy, just leave it to good ol' Merle and I'll just fix that." he flipped and placed you on all fours and held your inner thighs. You looked back hesitantly "Merle?...what are you doi-" just then, you had felt his tongue licking in between your folds, tasting you.

[luckynein]

Cis people are fucking hilarious, holy shit.

My boss’s wife died the other week, my coworker’s wife also died the other week. They were in the inspection room talking between each other and to myself and maven about it. Coworker mentions his wife’s “son” and immediately corrects to “daughter” and how he might try to see if she could get a job here… since the shop is cool with “transgenders” *looks directly at maven and me*

Bro really said “this is the tranny shop for trannies right?”

This is the same coworker who was the first to be on board with my pronoun changes, and also the one who randomly let me know right after I came out that his wife’s daughter is also trans but she doesn’t want bottom surgery (Obviously not the term he used lmfao) and is that usual for us.

Being trans is really something.

Anyways let’s trans this place up, I feel for this woman since her stepdad somehow still cannot gender her correctly to save his damn life and she was already out when I came out in 2019! Bro you’ve had all the time in the world and you clearly care about her why is this so hard for you.

[another-delta-lover]

rant [yap] to me

Idk what that means but I must guess it means talk a lot, sooo here u go:

Ok so, when I was first designing my Oc's, I made them specifically so I could make a game about em, a horror game.

It would be about Jessy, the younger sister, once she turned 18 and got kicked out of the orphanage bc of that, was going to the ruins of the abandoned house that was burnt down, the house that rumors said it was her house before she got to the orphanage.

It was 10 years ago, so no one really cared about it, but bullied her about that anyway.

When she got there, the whole place was all horrible. Graffitied, broken, and ofc, burnt. She wandered around, looking at everythin. She found where the bodies of her siblings were when the incident happened, and labels, that throughout the years were almost illegible due to degradation of them, had the names of em.

Emily died with Mark in her arms, seems she was protecting him from the fire while trying to escape.

William died in his dad's room, he tried to save his mom's pics.

Danny died in the basement with Tyler.

And lastly, Anny died with Jessy in her arms. She was trying to protect her from the fire, and she did, but she didn't survive, bo-whomp.

Jessy, after seeing this, started crying BAD. She was speechless, and horrified. Bc of how hard it was to process for her, she passed out right there.

And here's when the main game would begin.

Jessy wakes up as a 6 year old version of herself, with her doll, Yesi, in her arms. She's confused and doesn't understand shit.

Her surroundings look like how the house looked before burning down, but extremely large. Like she was a lil fairy in the house of an ogre. Everything looks spooky n Sinister 😈

Well, the game would consist in Jessy trying to survive to the EVIL and monster versions of her siblings, while also trying to understand what the hell happened there, while also being helped by Anny, the good sibling that's against the EVIL siblings 🙏🙏

Each room of the house was a personal hell of each of the siblings, having stuff that have to do with their trauma and backstory. Jessy would have to survive to the sibling of the corresponding room, without the help of anny.

The game would've had an ENORMOUS amount of endings, depending on each lil detail you did. Here are some of em:

The friend ending👍👍👍👍:

You go with ur friend that you made while being in the orphanage to her new apartment in the city, without ever going to the forest.

The good ending 😋:

You find out wtf happened to the siblings and free their souls, while beating the shit out of Tyler. You let them rest in peace finally😔🙏

The bad ending😨:

You didn't free SHIT. Now Tyler lives in your fuking mind and now you're an immortal machine that carries Tyler's soul.

THE EXTREMELY BAD ENDING:

You free everyone's souls, everyone but DANNY'S!!! Everything goes fucking WRONG!!! Making you enter in a coma that you won't survive.

The sad ending😔:

You free everyone's soul but Anny's😔 after all she did for you every before you met her... Now her soul is trapped with Tyler's😔😔 how could you

The TRANSPHOBIC🤬 ending:

You free everyone's sould but Emily's??? Like tf is wrong with you, you literally have an entire cast of characters and you don't free the only character that's confirmed trans's SOUL???? very bad. Veryvery bad. Now her sould is trapped in a transphobic and dysphoric hell☹️

The BETRAYAL ending:

Depending on how you were with your siblings, if you were a bad sibling, Anny kills you before you can finish the game.

There are more but too manyyy

That would be all... Forgor to mention it would be a pixel game like Undertale or more like I'm Scared A Pixelated Nightmare:)

But I decided to not make the game bc I'm too lazyyy

[slut-for-artists]

listen, i know i dont post a lot of my own shit on here, mostly reblogs, but this is serious

THESE KIDS SHOULDNT BE FUCKING DYING BECAUSE OF BIGOTED PRICKS WHO WANT CONTROL

i mean Nex Benedict, he didnt deserve to be beaten and then die because of said injuries from being beaten. not at fucking ALL. this was a 16 year old non-binary 2-spirited kid, who was a product of multiple minorities. he was fucking bullied for a year, and is getting hated on IN HIS FUCKING DEATH for snapping back by pouring water on these girls? thats some fucking bullshit right there. he was only 16, he was a baby. he fucking loved mine craft, and his cats and shit. it could have been any one of us, and this poor angel died because some asshats decided they were better than him and beat him until he eventually died. and the adults involved with covering up his murder? absolutely disgusting pieces of shit for not helping him, calling an ambulance, calling the lgbtq disgusting (or whatever the fucking cunt said, I'm so angry i cant pay full attention). they are disgusting pieces of shit for letting this poor kiddo die. plus, ruling it as a suicide is BULLSHIT. it is SO FUCKING HARD to overdose on antidepressants, much less antihistamines

Nex, I am so so sorry that society, that your school, the government, I'm so sorry that they failed you

and kids like Brianna Ghey, i havent even fucking HEARD about her until tonight. these poor angels were fucking killed for being themselves, and their stories havent even been told.

i expect so so much fucking better from the non-binary and trans and gender fluid communities, hell, i expected more from everyone. as someone who thought they were trans, this could have been me. this could have been anyone from these communities, or any other fucking minority. speak up and fucking talk about these kids

finally, the Palestinian children. none of them fucking deserve to suffer, starve, be bombed, have to see their families die, have to eat animal food, have to live in fear. babies, unborn, newborn, and not even a year old. theyre dying because theyre premature, underweight, unhealthy, STARVING. kids are dying, toddlers who are the same as your own babies, theyre starving and getting bombed. that poor 5 year old who was murdered after having to watch the rest of her family die? that sweet girl didnt deserve that fate in any way, she was FUCKING FIVE YEARS OLD. israel is committing war crimes against these people who never deserved it. stand for these people, otherwise you are complacent in a genocide

IF YOU SUPPORT ANY OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN MURDERING THESE CHILDREN, GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU DISGUST ME

[lividria]

Funny Story: Celeste

So, I've mentioned in a couple previous posts that I'm transfem, right? Well, one time, another trans girl joined a Discord I'm in, and I don't remember what led up to it, but they had DMed me asking if I had played Celeste, saying that they "thought you had to play it to be trans"? They then said that was a joke and said some other stuff I forgot and I'm too lazy to find the exchange, but the entire thing was weird, alienating and uncomfortable, and it's stuck with me ever since because of it, even if that person basically never said anything ever again anywhere after that.

So, last night, when I was looking on the XBox Game Pass because I apparently misremembered Shovel Knight as being on there and wanting to try that only to be disappointed, I stumble upon Celeste... And I figured, why the hell not perform the apparent rite of passage? I've already embraced the double jump joke. So I did it tonight, since I had a few hours.

If this is the game you have to have played to be trans, then I am terrified of what every other trans person is capable of, because this game beat my ass HARD. I joke about being bad at video games, some of my friends tease me for being bad at video games, but I don't think I've ever been hit this badly. I had to use Assist Mode basically the whole way through, and I died like 93 times on Chapter 1. I later died 100+ times to Chapter 3 too, and by the end had racked up 387 total. This is probably the most infuriating gameplay I've ever experienced, besides for maybe that one stupid Sonic Frontiers minigame with herding the rock Chao, that's probably still worse, actually. Even with infinite dashes and invincibility (Though I only turned that on at Chapter 5), I was getting kicked around left and right.

My main takeaway from the game besides the confirmation that I'm not a masochist is that there's probably an issue with myself I need to address if the only character I didn't find unlikable for most of the game and the only reasonable one of the cast was Badeline, the literal manifestation of self-doubt and anxiety. The entire time I was basically saying to the screen that she was right. That's probably not a good thing.

[unicornsvsglitter]

I just rewatched japan sinks with some friends and I have so many thoughts on that show. In just ten episodes this show manages to be absolutely devastating and make me cry… twice, but also leave me with a weird sense of hope and closure that’s hard to find.

1. Everyone who has seen the show either loves it, hates it, or didn’t finish it. Which I’m not one to dis peoples options, but the main reason people don’t like the show makes zero sense. The main criticism I’ve seen is that it kills off too many characters. But like… it’s a show literally about japan sinking, are you surprised that it’s a tragedy where lots of people die??? I mean I was a bit shocked, but I thought the show was going to be about more of a metaphorical japan sinking (like maybe some sort of political unrest) not a literal one, but simply reading the show’s description would have made me realize I was wrong.

2. Disability representation. They had every opportunity to kill of Onodera and just say he died because that’s what happens when you effectively in the apocalypse and mostly paralyzed, but the main group, specifically Kite it like fuck it, no man left behind, idc if I’m putting my life in the line for this dude who can’t walk, talk, or move anything other then his fingers and toes, he’s one of us and god damn it, he’s not dying on my watch. There were 2 main scene where it was almost set up to kill him, but the didn’t. In a show that, once again, as far as there characters are concerned takes place during the apocalypse, had everyone going out of there way to take care of the disabled character and saw him as just as important as everyone else.

3. Trans representation. I love so much that Kite is trans and they don’t really make a big deal about it. It is never explicitly said, and only shown in one scene. He’s just (I think, if I’m remembering correctly) the top YouTuber in Japan, a complete and total badass, many children’s role model, who also just so happens to be trans. There’s a few other examples of lowkey queerness in the show, but Kite is the biggest example.

4. (Major spoiler warning) To me, I think the big appeal of the show is it has just the right amount of hurt comfort. Other then the dad, every major character death has a reason, and for lack of a better term accomplished something. Like Koga has one of the most devastating deaths I’ve seen animated, and one of only two scene in a show that has ever made me cry, but he dies 1) while doing what he loves and 2) while saving a memory disk that is used later on to help rebuild Japan. The mom is another example is the moms death. Her death is the only other scene in a show to make me cry and 1) once again, she died doing what she loves and 2) she died to save her children. She went fuck it, imma die anyway, might as well have one last hurrah and be a total badass.

I have many more thoughts on this show that I may post at a later date, but these are the big ones.

[library-ghoulette]

Together As One

Pairing: Cirrus x Cumulus x reader, implied Papa Emeritus IV x everyone

Rating: Explicit, NSFW, MINORS DNI

Tags: second person POV, ghoulette!reader, trans woman Cirrus, angst, ghoul summoning as weird childbirth metaphor, emotional neglect, rejection, guilt, Dewdrop being an asshole, mommy issues, polyghouls, nightmares, hurt/comfort, threesome, cunnilingus, description of past vaginal sex

Words: 1873

Summary: Rejected by Papa and plagued by nightmares, a newly-summoned ghoulette knows comfort in only one place: the arms of Cirrus and Cumulus.

A/N: Be warned that one has more angst and kinkier dynamics than the other fics I've posted so far. All characters are consenting adults. Newly-summoned does not equal child. Very light mommy domme element and use of diminutive terms of endearment. Don't like, don't read!

I apologize in advance for the last sentence of the first section.

ao3 link

divider by @gothdaddyissues

Your summoning was a hard one. Your memories of it are hazy, scattered, little more than disjointed images—sweaty faces, burning candles, flashes of light—a horrible sensation of tearing, of upward motion, of confinement. And the hideous cacophony of overlapping screams: yours, and those of the human the others would tell you was called Papa. Your Papa.

But you don’t need clear memories to know that it was hard, far worse than the norm, worse than the summonings of your fellow ghouls. You hear what people say when they either don’t know or don’t care that you are listening.

The whispers about how long it had taken, how Papa chanted and toiled for hours unending, checking and rechecking the intricate circle he had inscribed on the chapel floor and finding no mistakes. 

And yet, you refused to come. Everyone had thought it better to give up, but he steadfastly continued the ritual. And then, when you finally relented, when you appeared naked and trembling within the circle, Papa had collapsed. For three days he had remained unconscious in the infirmary. When people describe it, they use odd human phrases that you don’t quite understand, things like touch and go.

Dewdrop put it more plainly: You had nearly killed him. That’s what he snarled at you when you got in his way one too many times and his patience snapped like a guitar string wound too tightly.

“Papa almost died. And for what? A useless ghoul with no powers? A spare who’s always in the way? Hardly fit to step in if something happens to one of us who actually matters–”

Cirrus intervened then, sliding her strong, lithe body in between you and Dewdrop, shielding you from the older ghoul’s bared fangs and from the hellfire dancing in his eyes and curling dangerously from his clawed fingertips. But you didn’t catch what she said to him, because as soon as you were able, you turned and fled from the den.

When Cumulus found you later–hiding away to cry in a secluded alcove in the depths of the basement–she took you into her arms and tucked you against her side, your face buried in her soft curls that smelled fresh like mist on a cool day, and her kind voice reassured you, “Don’t listen to Dew. He didn’t mean it. He just… He gets territorial about Papa, sometimes.”

But you know that Dewdrop meant every furious word, and worse, that he was right.

You don’t fit in with your fellow ghouls, always the last to get Swiss’s jokes, completely beneath Mountain’s notice, forever the target of Dew’s ire. You don’t share the easy bond that all of them have with one another. The rest of the pack seem able to communicate without even speaking, leaving you forever on the outside, wondering what you missed and why you’re so different.

And just as you took longer than anyone else to appear at your summoning, weeks have passed without your powers manifesting. You aren’t fearsome, or talented, or smart, or charming like the others. Called into service, but unfit for any save the most mundane tasks.

Not that Papa even wants you near enough to serve him. Every time he visits the ghoul den, you watch as he exchanges easy affection with the others. Laughter. Hugs. They draw near to him unselfconsciously, nuzzling him, running their hands over his body with practiced familiarity. You see how he blooms beneath their caresses, how he readily returns their affections. 

You long for that, for those easy touches, for the easy love that he exchanges with them so freely. But if ever his eyes fall upon you, they reflect nothing but discomfort and unease, and they quickly slide away as he flees your presence, retreating from the common room into one of the bedchambers with one or more of the other ghouls. 

Worthless, unwanted.

You nearly killed him.

And he will never, ever love you.

You wake in the middle of the night, heartbeat pounding in your ears, limbs thrashing and doused in a cold, clammy sweat. For a moment you don’t know where you are, but then you feel Cirrus’s strong arms wrapping around you from behind and you remember. 

You’re where you’ve spent every night since that horrible first one, when Cumulus and Cirrus had each taken you by the arm and helped you to stand on unsteady legs, leading you from the ritual circle that stank of incense and blood and fear. When they had spoken comforting words as they bathed you, gently washing the soot and grime from your tender, unfamiliar flesh. And when they had held you between them as you wept to find yourself in this terrifying new world, not letting you go even after you had fallen at last into a fitful slumber. You’re in the only place you know that you belong: nestled between the two of them in their huge bed that smells like home.

“Another nightmare, imp?” Cumulus whispers, her eyes shining at you in the dark.

You nod wordlessly, unable to speak as you so often are in these situations.

“A bad one?” 

Again you nod, and whimper at the memory of it: Papa’s face contorted with anger and hatred, his harsh words, and the shame of being banished, too wretched even to return to the pit. 

“Poor thing.” She cups your face in her hand, and leans forward, kissing away the tears you’re barely aware of shedding until her plush lips press against your cheek.

Cirrus, awake now at the sound of Cumulus’s voice, stirs behind you. “Nightmare?” she asks, and the other ghoulette meets her gaze over your head and nods. 

Cirrus’s breath skims the pointed shell of your ear, raising a pleasant shiver when she asks, “Do you want us to help you forget?”

You know that you have to speak to get what you want–how many times have you heard them urge, “Use your words, little one?”--so you muster the strength to say, albeit in your tiniest voice, “Yes, please.”

“Don’t worry.” Cirrus presses her lips against your neck, the kind of kiss where you can feel the edge of her fangs just enough to be reminded that she will never use them on you in a way that you don’t want. “We’ll take care of you.”

Your body is still wrung out from the nightmare, your limbs loose and weak with sleepiness, but the two other ghoulettes help you to sit up. 

Cumulus slides behind you on the bed so that you can lean back against her, her ample thighs spread on either side of your hips, her bare skin soothing against your own. She holds you in her arms, back pressed against her breasts, and because it is your habit to sleep naked, you can feel the warmth of her sex against your lower back.

Cirrus moves down the bed in front of you, running her fingers along your shins and up to your knees as she gently parts your legs, just enough to allow her to kneel between them. She is magnificent, from the sweeping curve of her horns to the muscular tail that fervently whips the air behind her, and every elegant curve in between. 

She regards you with her huge, dark eyes and softly asks, “Do you want my mouth or my cock tonight?”

You’ve had both before. You know how wonderful it is to take her cock, how safe and cherished and owned you feel when she holds you close and spills herself deep inside of you. But tonight…

“Your mouth? Please?”

“So polite,” Cumulus coos from behind you, and slips her hand down your belly, toward your aching cunt. 

Her fingers dip down, parting your folds. You gasp as the cool air hits the wet heat of your arousal, and again as Cumulus teases the hard little bud of your clit with her fingertip.

“Yes,” Cirrus agrees, as she lowers herself onto the bed, nudging your thighs apart. “Always such a good girl.”

Her words skim a breath against your cunt, and you writhe at the ghost of contact. Already the nightmare’s grip is loosening, the guilt and anxiety it conjured replaced by your growing need.

Cumulus keeps her hand in place, index and middle finger resting along either side of your clit, and holds you open for Cirrus to inspect. Keeping your folds parted as Cirrus unfurls her long, forked tongue and licks a line up your center.

You hold Cirrus’s gaze for as long as you can before surrendering, letting your eyelids fall closed, your head dropping back against Cumulus’s shoulder. She murmurs endearments to you as Cirrus works down below, and she brings her free hand up to cup your breast, testing its heft before rolling your nipple between her thumb and forefinger.

You arch your back in response, the involuntary motion pulling you away from Cirrus’s mouth. She loops her arms around your thighs, holding you firmly in place, and presses her questing tongue into your entrance.

You feel your inner muscles clench around the intrusion, no less intense than the first time she and Cumulus taught you about pleasure. About the pleasures of corporeality, all the strange and beautiful things that your new body can experience, as unfamiliar and clunky as it sometimes seems to you, so imperfect in comparison to the free-flowing consciousness of before.

You know nothing else that comes as close to feeling like before than these moments, when they take you in their arms together and touch you and touch you and touch you, drowning you in attention and love, until the very boundaries between your bodies seem to blur. These moments when they are your sisters and your lovers and your mothers all at once, your earth and your sea and your sky, your sun and your moon and all the blazing stars in between.

“That’s it,” you hear Cumulus say, as your belly clenches, every muscle in your body tightening in anticipation of release. “Can you come for us, our darling?”

You’re already so close, teetering right on the edge even before Cirrus withdraws her tongue and slides it up to your clit, enfolding your nub between the impossibly dexterous twin tips that squeeze and flick and–

You come undone, the orgasm tearing through you, obliterating thought, reducing you to waves of desperate, transcendent ecstasy. When you come back to yourself, you realize that you are holding tightly to both of them, that in the throes of your climax, when you were lost to yourself, they had each taken one of your hands. Grounding you. Tethering you to them.

“Is that better?” Cirrus asks, cheek pillowed against your thigh.

You try to say yes, to thank them, to ask if there is anything that you can do to demonstrate your love and your gratitude to them. But what comes out is a deep, and pleasantly exhausted, yawn.

Both of your lovers giggle fondly, kissing the blush even deeper into your cheeks as they tuck you back under the covers, back in between them, where no nightmare can intrude for long, and where nothing can harm you. 

Where you want to stay, forever.

[vraska-theunseen]

watched nimona earlier today and rewatching it now and i really liked it ! i get why they changed things for plot pacing reasons and bc it's a cartoon movie for kids but i missed the dynamics of the book a little. having the reason ballister was a criminal be bc someone important actually died and he was framed and not bc he was injured by a jealous and prideful ambrosias (who did so to forward his own success not in a disarming move) and so grows bitter and cynical and becomes a clever villain in his own right as a plot shortcut was a bit sad. (no decades long jilted homoerotic rivalry w ambrosius 😔). also the institute is not shown to be bad and oppressive like in the book and i don't think ballister ever believes it's fundamentally flawed or that he has to strategically take it down (i mean in the middle of the movie he is like nimona you were right but his solution is to pack up and leave), it's just the director who they blame and get rid of and there was no jaderoot plot to poison and control the population or evil experimenting on nimona or electrocuting dissenters (not that there were scenes with any bc if the conditions aren't being portrayed as poor and the regime isn't portrayed as bad and all the people working in it complicit there's not really room for it) or anything. but all that is to say i get it it's a big budget adaption and it's for kids it's going to be watered down and modified.

but onto what i did like: the overt lgbt representation and themes! while like i said ballister and ambrosius aren't 30-40yrs old and divorcedcore (sad) their relationship was explicitly romantic and i enjoyed it. nimona's transness was kind of lifted from allegory way more to the forefront, which makes sense—nimona's creator, ND stevenson, came out as trans only a couple years ago, and recently has said many people have asked him if nimona was a trans allegory and he's been like "well it's obvious to me now!" but when he wrote the source material it wasn't necessarily intentional. several interactions are literally blackheart going "can you be normal?" and nimona going "but i'm not a girl." what they did with nimona's backstory was soooo sick the gloreth thing was sooo cool they literally gave her a girl bestfriend (her only friend) who is influenced by hate and turns her sword on her and 1000 years later when the story has been warped by the centuries in her darkest moment of anger and anguish she aims to impale herself on a monument to that same girl who took up arms to slay her and anything else that was different. i'm normal btw.

also i loved the new character designs <3 the animation was beautiful too. and ofc while it's a modified story at the heart is still nimona and it still has a similar message, about being sad and angry but pulling through with other people and loving them when it's hard. and about being transgender.

[totally-not-an-awkward-okapi]

I wanted to stretch my character design muscles and draw all the x-men’s blonde ladies since they are famously hard to differentiate, but it turns out a good chunk of that list is Guthries. Fortunately, designing siblings is also a fun character design challenge.

This ended up involving quite a bit of headcanoning because this family is a mess, so I’m gonna explain them all below the cut.

Sam was very easy, he’s even the one Guthrie kid with a clear birth order as the canonical Eldest. I mainly just wanted to capture his New Mutant’s design with his less gangly modern look.

Paige was the only Guthrie I’d drawn before, so I just used the drawing of her from the Gen X line-up I did forever ago. She’s been called out as the second eldest before,

-but Elizabeth has been mentioned to be specifically older than Paige. In the end I decided to commit to neither option and make them twins who constantly argue over who was born first. My friend swayed me that she should be trans given the whole hormone based power thing, so I ended up having to switch her from identical to fraternal at the last minute.

Jay’s order in line has never been clear, but he’s usually drawn as among the older group so here he is. I found a panel where he had a cute cowlick and liked how it seemed like he had a kinda bird-like nose, so that was most of the thought in his design.

Joelle’s one spotlight moment is joining an anti-mutant hate group because she was jealous that all her siblings were more special than her, which is a very middle child move of her so she’s right in the middle. I decided to play up how similar she looks to Melody, just to add even more reason she’d rebel like that.

Melody was very easy, her age was never specified but given that her age varies from quite young to being in the highschool group, I figured it was safe to put her on the older end of the younger half of the family.

A big problem with plotting out the whole Guthrie family is that Sam’s said there’s 10 Guthrie kids with him included, but only 9 have been named on page. Which seems like it has a pretty easy solution if you just include Ray Holder Jr because Sam considers his Mom’s boyfriend’s son a sibling in his count. I mean, that’s something that happens in the real world. Plus, kid died so I think he deserves it.

Jeb’s design has been all over the place. Does he have glasses? Does he have freckles? Is his hair strawberry blonde, red, or brown? I’m committing to glasses, freckles, and blonde hair just because I figure that makes him the most distinct. At least he’s pretty easy to place as closest in age to Ray and not the youngest.

Lewis and Cissie Guthrie are the two youngest and twins. I’d argue they're even more trans-coded than Liz, given that they're identical but different genders. The only interesting thing either have done is that Lewis got injected with necrotized DNA by the Dark Beast once and nearly died, so he gets to keep some scars from that to give him something to visually stick to.