#she really was The Catalyst huh

[wanderingblindly]

hello beloved!!! ☉ and ✦ for the fic ask game please

EMMYYYYY MY ANGEL!!!!!!!! Thank you for asking, you're the best and I adore you

☉ What do you do when you get stuck writing?

If it's daylight, I'll go for a walk to CVS to get a treat; if it's dark/cold I'll go take a shower and talk out loud to myself until I crack the code. If all else fails, I just end up word vomiting to my captive audience (aka u, Lima, and Latte) until SOMETHING clicks. Though, that's mostly if I'm stuck on a concept. If I just can't get my brain to sink into the universe, I let the WIP sit until my braincell cooperates lol.

✦ Easiest and hardest fics to write?

Easiest: I think a tie between Rules of Engagement and Hot Pink Ring Pops, for similar reasons. Both of them were concepts where the entire plot came to me at once -- the beginning, middle, and end were all super clear right away. After that, it's all about connecting the dots. Rules of Engagement let me use a bunch of little personal details to fill in the gaps, and Hot Pink Ring Pops naturally allowed for stupid comedy that I didn't need to think too hard about. Hardest: I've talked about how much I struggled with Chapter 2 of Is It Gay To Watch Your Teammate on Tiktok, and I stand by that. That said, I struggled a lot with my first fic: Origins of Want. I hadn't written in a decade, and all I had was a quote that wouldn't stop bouncing around in my head. I spent so long just trying to remember how to write in a way that felt expressive rather than strictly descriptive (shoutout to my business degree for ruining that), and the pacing never quite felt right. I'm still glad I put it out there, but man was it harder than the output would indicate hahahah

[cordeliawhohung]

i’m going feral for shy!reader x mafia!underboss simon like i need him flirting with her at johns club and her blushing hard at him lighting touching her cheek but also she doesn’t really know how to flirt and is getting all flustered but he enjoys watching her get flustered while there’s a crowd of people around them

oh i've had an idea about this brewing in my mind for a bit and i'm so glad that i can use you a catalyst to make it everyone else's problem <3 think of this as a part 2 to this drabble here

mafia!141 masterlist

warnings: fem!reader, fluff and flirting, some tension, mentions of alcohol/club settings, reader is too shy for her own good lmao, short-ish drabble/oneshot

The very appearance of the building in front of you spoke volumes, warning you to turn around and run away while you still could. Dark, thumping music sounded more like an alarm than it did something to dance to, and the stench of alcohol was strong even from outside. To make things worse, you were very much out of your depth not only in location, but in the clothes you wore. Some short, scantily dress your friend insisted you borrow from her because a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt simply wouldn't do in a place as high profile as her husband's club. You tried to feel confident, or at least appear so. Tried to straighten your back and relax your face as if you were above everything in that building, but you were never very good at pretending.

However, nothing was worse than the fact Simon fucking Riley stood outside the door to greet the two of you. At first, you almost didn't recognize him with the face mask on and the long sleeves covering his tattoos, but you'd recognize those eyes of his anywhere. So dark in the dim lighting that attempted to illuminate the area outside of the club, you knew you would get lost in them if you stared at them too long.

"Evening, ladies," he greeted. His voice was all too familiar, and you tried not to think about how you still felt his breath on your ear when he taught you how to shoot pool.

"Riley," your friend whined, "don't tell me John sent you."

He crossed his arms over his chest, and you found yourself having to look away from how his biceps bulged with the movement. "Boss's orders."

"So much for girls night," she muttered.

"Don't worry 'bout it," he assured while his eyes flickered to you. "You won't even know I'm here."

And he was right. Mostly, anyway. Once he led the two of you into the building, up past the lower level and up into the elevated and sparsely dense VIP section of the bar, Simon had pretty much blended in with the shadows. You and your friend were unbothered while you enjoyed your free drinks (thanks to either John or Simon, you didn't know for sure) all while you tried to ignore the fact you were in your a place that utterly terrified you.

Of course, all good things had to come to an end. Eventually John emerged from somewhere in the mass of bodies that surrounded you, and your friend, who was more than a little tipsy by that point, hung off of his arm within an instant. And it was kind of cute, watching the way John rested his hands on her hips while she tried to make him dance with her. Yet, at the same time, you got secondhand embarrassment from it, so you averted your gaze as you looked down at the dance floor on the lower level. There were so many people packed together, jumping and dancing to the music, that it looked like a pulsing mass of flesh. The sight of it mixed with the alcohol in your stomach and you started to feel queasy.

"Wanna get some fresh air?"

You hadn't even realized Simon had walked up to you until he was right next to you, arms resting on the railing that separated you from becoming a messy stain on the lower level.

"Huh?" you asked, not because you hadn't heard him, but because you were somewhat perplexed by his offer.

Though his mouth was covered by that black medical mask, you could still see his smirk crinkle the corner of his eyes. Before he explained any further, his hand gently reached up where he grazed his thumb along the flesh of your cheek. Your breath hitched in your throat, and you found yourself utterly frozen by the gesture. You tried not to think about how warm his hand was on your skin, or how your stomach fluttered at his touch just like it had the last time his skin had grazed yours. As you tried to hold back a shiver, you silently prayed no one was looking at the two of you.

"Thought we could give the lovebirds over here some alone time," he finally continued as he pulled his hand away from your face. He flicked his middle finger along the flesh of his thumb, as if he had taken something on your face and was getting rid of it, but since he didn't even bother to look at his hand before doing so, you couldn't help but wonder if there had even been something on your face to begin with.

God, it was fucking hot in that building, and the cool night air was a welcomed feeling on your exposed skin. Towards the back of the VIP section was the entrance to the terrace, where plenty of people still mingled about, but it was significantly more quiet than inside. Simon led you underneath the hanging lights over to a dark corner where the railing looked too sketchy to be safe or up to code.

"You smoke?" Simon asked as he dug his hand into the pocket of his jeans.

You watched him carefully as he took out a pack of smokes and started beating the bottom of the carton against the palm of his hand. His fingers wrapped around the object with ease, and you swallowed hard as you shook your head.

"Good," he hummed as he removed his mask and lazily shoved it into his pocket, "don't start."

You didn't mean to stare, and you really hoped he didn't notice, but it was impossible for you to tear your eyes away from him. How could anyone expect you to when the cigarette sat so perfectly between his lips while he lit it? It only got worse when he held it limply between his fingers and exhaled the smoke out into the night air.

"You look good," he commented as he nodded his head at you.

"Oh, uhm," you muttered in surprise. You stared down at yourself and the obnoxiously sequined dress your friend insisted you wore and self consciously pulled at the skirt. "Thanks. I'm, uh, just borrowing the dress."

He hummed as he placed the cigarette between his lips again. "You'd still look good despite it."

This was strange. Something you weren't used to. Being complimented. Having someone look at you in a way that made your stomach churn, and it only got worse the longer you stood there speechless. And you tried to come up with a response, but the wider his smirk became, the harder it was for you to formulate a sentence.

And god, he wouldn't look away from you, like his eyes were stuck on you for the rest of eternity. Not even as he stepped closer to you. It felt like he was the sun, and the closer he got the warmer you felt until you were rendered breathless. He was so... close and just so... fuck. Fuck you wished he'd stop looking at you like that. Like he wanted to eat you alive, like he wanted to devour you, like-

"We should go back inside." The words left your mouth, no matter how hard you tried to hold them back. It was all too much at once, between the crowd of people, how flustered this man made you; all of it was too much.

"Right," Simon hummed. "Should make sure Mrs. Price isn't getting in too much trouble," he teased.

Yet, neither of you moved. Simon raised the cigarette to his mouth again and took a long drag of it. Instead of turning his head to the side to exhale, he leaned his head back and let the smoke drift up and out of his mouth. And you were stunned, eyes locked on him as he did so, too captivated by the skin of his throat and the curve of his Adam's apple to look away. Then his head rolled back down where his eyes found you once again and his lips pulled into that signature smirk he could never seem to wipe off when he was around you.

He gestured towards the door that led back inside of the club as he flicked the ash off of his cigarette. "After you, sweetheart."

writing this gave me the worst thoughts ever. what if shy!reader is a virgin? someone needs to sedate me at this point. hope y'all enjoyed more of our boy :3

[kmt123whatsthetea]

The wonders of ink

Fred Weasley x reader x George Weasley

‘Fred and George prank you by getting your clothes dirty, only to take you to the bathrooms to help you clean off’

A/N: I decided to repost (so nobody thought I was dead). I’ve been gone for so long and I feel guilty so I decided to deliver smut upon you all haha. My dear sister helped me to write this (Her Wattpad account is @Darkness_Donut. Feel free to give her a look if you’re in the Wattpad area)

T/W: Unprotected sex, The twins being kinda pervy, Groping, Double penetration

Fred and George put a lot of work into every prank.

Whether it was as simple as a ‘Hex Me’ note on Ron’s back or as sophisticated as creating a new type of chocolate that caused facial warts.

Not only did they put work into their pranks, but they also put pride into them. Each one was like their child, born and sent into the world to cause mischief. The prank they planned for you, however, was less like a prank and more like a plot for something even better than the typical annoyed scowl the pranks were usually met with.

While other students prepared for various classes and homework projects, Fred and George would stay locked in their dorm, perfecting the key catalyst for their interaction with you.

The twins were head over heels in love with you. While most people would approach you with a normal greeting and a proposition for a date, the twins needed to do more. Go big or go home was practically their motto. So when their newest creation was ready, all they had to do was wait for the perfect moment.

____________________________________________

You had been in the courtyard. Your nose stuck in the book that was cradled in your hands. So unsuspecting and sweet. The way the wind blew your hair, how your eyes were glued to the words.

George approached you, not too close that you’d notice but close enough that he could start phase one of the plan. He pulled out a small vial, the liquid inside a dark blue that stained the glass. He took a deep breath before uncorking the bottle and taking a step closer, ‘tripping’ over the tree branch and spilling the liquid over your uniform.

You squealed and moved the book aside, looking between the fresh stain and the redhead who threw it on you.

“George! What in Merlin's beard have you done?!”

George just shrugged his shoulders, putting on an apologetic look. The same look he gave his mum when she scolded him for putting a spell on Percy’s breakfast which caused the sausages to spout legs.

“I didn’t mean too, honest. I just kinda…tripped”

You did not look pleased, understandably so. George almost felt guilty but then he remembered the plan. It was all going smoothly, even if you might disagree.

“I feel awful. How about we go to the Prefects bathroom and get you cleaned up before it dries?”

With a sigh, you followed George.

The walk to the prefect's bathroom was filled with you grumbling about the stain and scolding George for not being careful. The bathroom was empty (all thanks to a little spell that temporarily made the door disappear). The baths were filled to the brim with hot water and bubbles, steam dampening the air.

Fred emerged from around one of the pillars, smirking as he looked you up and down.

“Good job, George. I knew you could get our girl here. You know, love, you should really clean up that stain. Wouldn’t want Snape taking away our hard earned points, now would you?”

George moved closer to you, his chest barely touching your back. Fred leaned against the pillar, staring at the black spot on your shirt. You crossed your arms, letting out a huff. You could practically see the burning desire in Fred’s eyes from across the room, the heat from George sneaking through the back of your shirt and warming your skin.

“You’d both like that, huh? Why don’t I just have a bath while I'm at it?”

George ignored your sarcastic tone and leaned closer, his breath tickling your ear.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea, sweetheart. We’ll get you nice and clean”.

Something about George’s soft tone caused your hands to rise to your top button, both sets of eyes glued to your fingers as they popped open the first button of many. One by one, your shirt slowly opened. The shirt had luckily (or unluckily) caught the liquid and stopped it from seeping through to your bra and skin underneath.

George helped you to slip the fabric from off your body before Fred stepped closer and took it from him. He held it up with a smirk.

“There’s nothing here, love. Maybe you just wanted to get naked for us”.

The white shirt was clean. Not a spot or stain in sight. The sight of your wide eyes and confused look made Fred chuckle. George rubbed your arms.

“Our newest prank, disappearing ink. We heard Harry talking about how his idiot muggle cousin had some so we wanted to make our own. We made it especially for you”.

Your hand darted out to snatch the fabric from Fred, smoothing your fingers over the fabric that was once stained to see if it was really gone. Both boys watched as your expression turned from confusion to shock to a mix of desire and anger. You were angry that the twins had tricked you and pulled you away from your book but you couldn’t help but feel hot at the thought that they made an ink just to get you in your bra. Maybe a reward for all their hard work wouldn’t be so bad.

George tugged on the bra clasp, his lips ghosting down your neck before pressing a kiss to your shoulder. A shiver ran up your spine at the feeling, but you didn't push him away. Fred toyed with the hem of your skirt, watching as your eyes glazed over with desperation.

“I need you both. Please make me feel good”

Fred tugged your skirt up, using his other hand to trace his fingers over the elastic of your underwear. He slowly trails your underwear down your smooth legs and helps you step out of them so your dripping folds are on display to him. As you look upon their faces, both of them lick their bottom lips in unison. George finally pulls your bra off, tossing it with your discarded shirt.

How could you look so innocent in just your skirt with your tits out? To the twins, you were like a graceful doe who wandered into the hunters' den. George practically growled as his hands groped your tits, squeezing the sensitive flesh. Your eyes closed and you let out a whimper that was sweeter than any sugary treat from Honeydukes.

Fred took the opportunity to unzip his trousers, shimmying them down enough to pull his cock out. Every noise that escaped your lips made it jerk in his hand. He stepped closer, his tip pressing snugly against your clit and leaving a splodge of precum. His hand wrapped around your thigh, tugging it up and over his hip while George held you upright. His head speared through your folds, your slick coating his shaft.

“Do you want this, love? You want me inside of you? Maybe we should see if that tight little hole can handle Georgie and I at the same time. I can feel how wet that makes you, Sweetheart. The thought of taking two cocks, we’d break that sweet pussy open”

George tugged at your earlobe with your teeth, only pulling back when a whine bubbled up from your throat.

“I think you want us to ruin you for other men”

Your voice couldn't have been more than a whisper, but it was filled with every dirty promise and beg that would only be privy to the twins’ ears.

“I want you two. I want other guys to look at me and know that I belong to you”

“Sweetheart, you already belong to us”

George moved his hand down to push his trousers down and pull his cock out, pressing it at your entrance before pulling you against him. His cock slid inside of you, your warm cunt hugging his shaft.

Fred brushed his fingertips against your clit, taking in the sight of your hole stretched around his brother's cock. It was gonna be a tight fit. He nudged at your entrance, his tip trying to find a space big enough to squeeze into. With a bit more persistence, he was pushing forward, the desperation to be buried inside of you fueling him.

You tried to stay still, trying not to squirm or clench. The stretch was so intense that you swore you could even feel the blood pumping through the veins decorating their shafts. Every pulse, every nudge felt like it would rip you in two.

When Fred’s tip finally pushed through the small opening, the squealed moan that left your lips was enough for George to press his hand to your lips to muffle any sound. As much as they loved the noises you were making, they couldn’t get suspended so close to graduating. There would always be other occasions to hear your pretty moans.

The sight was one to behold. The twins wished they could photograph your pussy stuffed with both of their cocks and frame it, only to watch the replay over and over.

An obscene squelching filled the room as they repeatedly stuffed their cocks into you. The stretch brings you closer to the edge than ever before. Your walls clenched, trying to both push their cocks out and pull them deeper. It didn't take long before you were cumming, clenching around them in a desperate need to be full of their cum.

George's hand stayed over your mouth, his lips whispering sweet praises in your ear. Fred lips were pressed against your forehead, giving chaste kisses here and there. Their groans echoed throughout the room when they felt you cum around them. You felt too good to be true. It took them 3 months to make that ink.

It was worth every single minute.

A mix of their cum flooded your insides, but there was so much that it started spilling out. But they didn't pull out just yet. With how much effort went into getting you between them, they were gonna make this last for as long as possible. It was only after they came down from their high that they noticed just how much of a mess you all made. Cum spots stained your skirt and their trousers. Fred’s chuckle caught your attention.

“Maybe we should clean you up for real this time”

[thelovelyruin]

 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖘.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : choso x fem reader 

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : choso has had a crush on you for oh so long.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : smut, porn with plot, vaginal sex, oral sex, praise, love, teasing, fingering, edging, (emotional choso lmao).

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 5.5K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from white roses by charli xcx.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoy it, if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

Maybe my only light, don't you recognize you're the only one I want?

Choso knew for a while now that he was in love with liked you. How could he not? Not when you’re always sparkling in every room you walk in, and all he wanted was for you to be his firecracker. It didn’t go unnoticed that guys on campus practically throw themselves at you, acting like dogs whenever you wore a particularly short skirt or a tight top, he knew cause he was looking too. Unfortunately for him, you pretty much had him in the friend zone. To be fair, it’s not like he’s made a move yet, so how were you supposed to know? Well, that didn’t stop you from referring to him as a mutual friend while talking to other people. Now, the one person who did know he liked you was his brother, Yuuji.

“Dude, you better tell her before she gets a boyfriend, then you’re really gonna be hurt.”

“Shut the fuck up, Yuuji.”

“C’mon, you know I’m right.”

And he was. When Choso caught wind that you had a thing for Megumi, (which was debunked because he made Yuuji ask you and you told him no), he pretty much wanted to throw up. Not that Megumi was a bad guy or anything, he was your best friend after all, and Choso was just related to Yuuji, who was Megumi’s best friend. His proximity to you was short, while Megumi and you talked all the time. He started thinking about what it would be like to be that close to you, inhaling your scent, seeing your smile when he spoke to you, the way your chest moves up and down when you breath. Then, he realized that kinda made him sound like a fuckin’ weirdo, so he stopped.

Now, he was in hell a bus with a bunch of other people in your friend group, headed to the mountains for a ski trip. It’s not like he didn’t like your friends or anything like that, it’s more so jealousy that the only thing he’s ever been able to say to you is a measly, hey, when Yuuji introduced you to him. That and Megumi and Todo were arguing, about what, exactly? Women. Megumi expressed that he wasn’t picky, which was the catalyst for Todo telling him he has to take what he can get cause he’s so stand-offish. So, now they were going back and forth about Megumi’s ability to pull. And, it was giving Choso a damn headache.

“Hey there, Choso!”

Cold like ice, petrified, lovin' what you're doin' to me.

Choso nearly shit himself the second he turned to his left and you were sitting in the seat with him.

“Um, hey.”

He hated himself for how awkward he sounded. He was too worried about the fact that you never really talked to him, but that was his own fault really. All the times he’s gotten the opportunity to talk to you, walking around campus, parties, and he’s never taken the chance. So much so, Yuuji came to him and asked if he had something against you, which sparked the conversation where he told Yuuji he actually had feelings for you. Then came Yuuji’s antics.

“I know you’re chillin’ over here by yourself, but I wanted to come say hi!”

You looked around the bus, seeing the chaos running amuck.

“I’m sorry about them, Yuuji told me when there’s too much going on, it kinda bothers you, but I can totally get them to shut up, if you want.”

He was gonna fuckin’ kill him. Now, his mind was boggling. What else had Yuuji told you? Lord knows he couldn’t keep his damn mouth closed, for all he knew, Yuuji had went ahead and told you he likes you.

“He said that huh? What else?”

“He also told me that you’re a little shy, but you warm up once you get more comfortable! If there’s anything I can do to help you out, just let me know, kay?”

He was scorching at this point. Why the fuck would he tell you that? As much as Choso wanted to give Yuuji a piece of his mind, his brain wasn’t really working. Because now, he was able to get a good look at you. Pink tinted lip gloss that accentuated your already pretty lips, and that perfume you were wearing, you smelled like a piece of strawberry cake. And he wanted a damn slice.

“Do yo mind if I stay back here with you? I’d rather not go up there and hear them bicker.”

“Uh, um…sure.”

You were infectious. He could feel himself practically light up when you asked him that, you wanted to sit with him? He must be dreaming and he knew he was when he saw you begin to take off your jacket.

“Know it’s cold outside, but this jacket is just way too hot for this bus. Hold it for me?”

Choso obliged immediately, the jacket served as a cover for the tent growing in his pants. Of course today of all days, you wear a v-neck shirt, your tits practically spilling out the fabric and talking to him. If he was hearing things correctly, they were begging him to free them from their captivity. He quickly snapped out of it when you began resting your head on his shoulder.

“Gonna take a nap, kay?”

This was gonna be a long fuckin’ ride.

White roses in the snow, never let me go.

When you guys got to the lodge, Choso exhaled deeply, removing his headphones and preparing for a long day. He had wanted to take a nap on the bus, but all he could think about was your pretty little head on his shoulder, and how it might be the last time. So, he relished in the moment, sighing when you stirred awake. You turned and gave him a little smile, followed by a yawn as you reached for your jacket. Everyone began to walk out of the bus, you were shortly behind, but you forgot you left your purse in the front row of the bus. As Choso walked up behind you, you were about to panic.

“I can’t find my purse anywhere! Did I leave it somewhere else?”

You began to check under the seat, giving Choso a front row view of your ass, stretched out by your insulated leggings. You were driving him crazy. The drive up was already enough for him, but now your ass perked in the air? He was practically edging himself. He knew he probably shouldn’t be looking, but he was mesmerized as you shifted around looking for your-

“Looking for this?”

You jumped up, looking at Megumi holding up your bag. With the assumption that you’d probably forget it, he went ahead and grabbed it to meet you outside the bus.

“Ooo, thanks Megs! You know you could’ve told me you had it!”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry bout that.”

With that, you grabbed your bag from him and smiled, proceeding off the bus. Choso was stuck, still in awe, but as Megumi was walking off the bus, he shot him a menacing look. Had he caught Choso staring at your ass? Probably. Shit, was he gonna tell you? Choso panicked a bit but took a deep breath and took his exit off the bus. If Megumi was gonna tell you, he deserved it, he had no business looking at you like that. But fuck, was it hard.

Lyin' in your bed and movin' slow, takin' off our clothes, givin' you it all.

Everyone piled into the cabin, which was pretty damn nice for a vacation rental. Everyone had a room fortunately, and there was a hot tub out on the back patio. While the girls went to find their rooms, the guys stayed behind to help with bags. As Choso went to pick up his and a black suitcase that was closest to him, Yuuji intercepted him. With a wink, Yuuji handed him a bubblegum pink suitcase. 

“A gift, for you.”

Choso rolled his eyes at him and took the bag, still upset with him for the things he told you. Walking through the halls, he looked for your room, wondering if you were still walking around. When he couldn’t find you, he sat your suitcase down in the room at the end of the hallway, seemingly empty.

“Why thank you, kind sir!”

He turned to see you in the doorway, giving him one of those bright smiles. You looked around confused for a bit, like you were looking for something. Then, Megumi walked into the room with his bags, and of course, your makeup bag. Why hadn’t he thought of that? Megumi shot Choso a confused look that said what the fuck are you doing here?.

“Sorry Megs, this room is off the market!”

“Oh no, whatever will I do? I’ll go find another room, but here, you forgot your makeup case.”

“Awe, we can share the room you know!”

Choso cleared his throat, causing the two of you to look at him. Him and Megumi were both obviously taken aback by your offer, causing you to chuckle at them.

“Awe, I was just kidding, duh! Megs, if you sleep with me, people may get ideas. Promiscuous ideas.”

You gave him a smirk and laughed at his flustered reaction. Choso had to contain himself. You had blatantly friend-zoned Megumi, right in front of him. Then, there was the look of defeat on his face that made Choso nearly jump for joy. Not that he was praying on his downfall or anything, but seeing Megumi lose this little game made him pretty damn excited.

“That goes for you too, Choso! Things like that are how rumors start.”

Now, Choso felt like shit. And it didn’t help that Megumi was now smirking at him with a look that said welcome to the friend-zone, bitch. It’s not like Choso got the idea that he would be sleeping with you, but it didn’t feel very good that you dismissed the possibility altogether. Even more reason to carry on, there was no chance he was admitting his feelings to you now. After that, you kicked them both out, preparing for a day at the lodge.

All I need is you and me alone. Love is like a rose and baby, let it grow.

Once you guys were done at the slopes, it was evening time. Everyone had decided to cook for dinner. Much like a potluck, all of you made something with ingredients you brought from home. Nobara’s pasta salad was pretty good, and Inumaki’s onigiri wasn’t half-bad, but the best thing was your brownies. A little known fact about Choso is that he loves sweets. That’s why when he tried your brownies, he nearly scarfed the whole thing down. You got the perfect texture, rich and fluffy with a decadent chocolate. You noticed him eating one and walked over, a blush on your face.

“So, how do you like them?”

“They’re delicious.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah, good job.”

You were beaming now, so proud of your baking. Choso felt really good, satisfied in the fact that he made you feel that way. Maybe he wasn’t always a fuck up.

“Hey, we’re about to do spin the bottle! You two playing?”

Maki had walked up to ask you, a slight look of annoyance on her face, it was obvious she wasn’t interested in playing, probably dragged into it by Nobara. But, that all changed when she saw the optimistic look on your face, her dread turning into a smile.

“Uh, duh! Sounds fun, you’re coming right, Choso?”

It’s not like he had much of a choice, because before you even finished your sentence, you were dragging him over to the living room. He didn’t really wanna play, but damn, he was happy you were touching him.

“So, we spin it and whoever you land on, you have to kiss. Sounds good? Okay great.”

Mai hadn’t given anyone a chance to answer the question, cause to be frank, she didn’t really care. All of you sat in a circle now, couch and chairs moved back to accommodate everyone’s seating arrangements. Choso sat next to Yuuta on the opposite side of the circle, while Yuuji sat between you and Megumi. At least Megumi wasn’t sitting next to you. Mai crawls over and spins the bottle first, landing on Todo.

“Hell no.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means hell no! I’m not kissing you.”

As her and Todo sent killer looks at each other, Yuuta went ahead and spun the bottle, landing on Maki, who was blushing like crazy. Everyone knew Yuuta had a thing for Maki, but it was a surprise when Maki kissed him back. After cheers and howls from the others, they sat back in their positions. You went up and spun next, Choso staring at the damn bottle like he had the powers to stop it. It landed on Megumi. Choso nearly lost his shit, I mean, was the damn universe against him? Yuuji raised his hand, a look of concern on his face. 

“Uh, Mai, I don’t think she wants to kiss her best friend, that would be kinda awkward.”

“Well, spin again.”

Yuuji, you fuckin’ saint. You give Megumi a playful pout, while he looked like someone’s sad puppy. Crawling up to spin again, Choso held his breath, mentally preparing for who it would land on next.

“Oh!”

He couldn’t fuckin’ believe it. The bottle had landed on him. You give him a sultry smile, crawling over to him and kissing him firmly on the lips. He nearly died in that moment, high on the adrenaline pumping through his body from the feeling of your lips on his. You pull away and smirk at him, crawling back to your position on the floor, earning some whistles and claps from the others.

“You know all you had to do was kiss him on the cheek, right?

“Yeah, but I wanted to make things exciting!”

Oh, Choso was excited alright. All the way down to his-

No one knows the secrets that you know. Come on, pull me close, lay me in the snow.

After playing a few more rounds, Yuuta and Maki got a bit tired, calling it a night. Yeah, right. At that point, someone got the idea it would be fun to go out to the hot tub, which you happily agreed to. Choso couldn’t be more uncomfortable. Sitting in the hot tub with Megumi and the others was the last thing he wanted to do, retreating to his room. That is, until there was a knock at his door.

“Choso, you’re coming out right? Where’s your trunks?”

Choso was about to die, and you were killing him slowly. When he looked at you, he didn’t expect you to be wearing such a revealing bikini, one of those with the triangle tops and thong bottoms. He nearly short circuited when he saw how pretty your tits sat in the cups, rubbing together a bit more due to your lean on the door. It didn’t help that you were fucking pouting again, giving him that look that said you weren’t gonna take no for an answer. And you looked really damn good in pink.

“Uh…yeah, sure.”

“Yay! Hurry up and get changed, I’ll wait out here for you!”

With that, you sat down on his bed, tits bouncing from the gravity shift. He could’ve sworn he was high, but damn it, he had to keep it together. He swiftly grabbed his trunks from his suitcase and went to the bathroom, closing the door shut behind him. For a moment there, he considered relieving himself before having to sit with you half-naked beside him, but there wasn’t enough time for that and it would also be really fucking wrong.

After putting on his trunks, he opened the bathroom door, you still waiting for him patiently. When you saw him, your eyes went wide. Choso was not the type to walk around shirtless, but he knew he couldn’t get into the water with a shirt on. It’s not like he was bad looking, just less built than someone like Todo, so in turn, he was convinced he was mildly unattractive. 

“Ooo, Choso, nice abs!”

Who was insecure? Not him, never. Your validation was all he needed to be in better spirits, loosening up a bit as you guided him through the house. Nobara, Yuuji, and Megumi were already in the hot tub. Much to Megumi’s surprise, you were holding Choso’s hand as you walked out onto the patio, and Choso could swear he could see the smoke shooting out of Megumi’s ears. As you got into the hot tub, Choso took a seat next to you, clearly fighting the temptation to stare at your body again. Yuuji started talking about some thing that happened back at school, but he couldn’t pay attention at all, why? Because, thankfully, you were still holding his hand.

I know you can feel it.

You'll be mine every night, I'm tryin' to effortise you're the only one I want.

Everyone had long since gone to sleep, the clock showing 1 AM now. Choso had been tossing and turning all night, just couldn’t stop thinking about the day. It was the most he’d ever interacted with you, and it was making him nuts. The way you touched him, spoke to him. Respectfully, he was in love with you. Tensed, he decided to go out and relax on one of the chairs on the patio.

Hold me tight, Marlboro Light, lovin' what you're doin' to me.

He brought a cigarette to his mouth and lit it, inhaling the smoke like a breath of fresh air. Laying back, he put his arm behind his back, allowing himself to decompress.

“That’s a bad habit, ya know?”

You had come out on to the patio, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts that were practically underwear. He brought his hand to his face wiping down, preparing to fight his boner for the umpteenth time today. You walked past him, taking a seat on the chair next to him and taking the cigarette. To his surprise, you smoked it, inhaling softly and blowing out.

“Thought it was a ‘bad habit’?”

“A habit I never denied having.”

You put your lips around it again, Choso in a trance. He didn’t even care that your sticky lipgloss was staining the filter, all he could think about was how good they would look around his-

“So, you don’t talk much. Why’s that?

“Not really much to talk about.”

“Nonsense, there’s always something to talk about.”

The cigarette is finished now, Choso sitting it in the ashtray. You stood from your chair, walking to the door and waiting for him. He stood up too, noticing how cold it had gotten, following behind you into the living room, fireplace crackling with a light fire.

We're gonna melt down, gonna disappear into the sun.

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Like, about how we can finally warm up in here.”

You sat on the rug in front of the fireplace, patting the floor beside you, signaling Choso to sit with you. Like a fish to water, he came down and sat, looking between you and the fire.

“So, what are you studying?

“Um…Pre-Med. I wanna be a phlebotomist.”

“Like blood and stuff? How cryptic!”

You playfully jab him, talking for what seemed like forever on all sorts of topics, music, movies, memories. Every thing you said made him fall more in love with you. Your enthusiasm in the way you spoke about your interests, god, he wished you talked about him like that. Eventually he became more and more comfortable, relaxing a bit.

“So, wanna talk to you ‘bout somethin’.”

“What’s up?”

“A little birdie told me you were crushin’ on me, is that right?”

Yuuji was a dead man. Choso locked his jaw and stared down at the floor. This was it, this was the end. He knew damn well you were out of his league, he couldn’t even compare to the guys who approached you. Guys like him don’t pull girls like you, shit, at this point, he had something in common with Megumi. Unrequited love for you.

“Um…I…uh… yes.”

“Is that so?”

You looked him in his eyes now, getting a bit closer to him. He swears he’s gonna combust, your face is so close to his, god, if he had any balls he’d make a move on you right now. He nodded and sighed, ready for the influx of humiliation.

“Yeah, I like you. A lot, actually.”

“So, what are you gonna do about it?”

The fuck did you just say? He was hearing things, has to be. There was no way you were implying he make a move on you, but when you brought your hand over his and gave him that sultry look in your eyes, he knew exactly what you meant.

Gonna burn down together, like fire, we can't get enough.

“Fuck it.”

Choso slammed his lips on to yours, so high on life that he nearly comes undone at the feeling of your hand crawling behind his neck. You start to lean back onto the rug, Choso climbing on top of you, claiming your mouth as his as he begins biting your lower lip. And when that makes you moan softly, he swears he was gonna fucking lose it. He moves down to your neck now, kissing and sucking the skin there while your fingers run through his hair. Can’t help but leave hickies all over it, now that he’s got you, he wants everyone to know you’re his.

We're tied like white roses, you know we're never comin' undone.

As he comes down your neck, his lips find their way onto your chest, licking the skin of your breasts as his hand comes under your shirt to massage your tits. Isn’t it his lucky day? You’re not wearing a bra. Choso’s imagination runs wild for a second there, thinking there was a possibility you were braless because you intended to fuck him, but it was an incomplete thought as he brought your shirt over your head. Back on you immediately, he took a nipple into his mouth, tongue circling on the bud, obsessed with the light moans and whimpers he was pulling out of you. Sucking all over your chest, he was running on lust and adrenaline. Kissing his way down your stomach, making you arch your back a bit, he found his way down to your shorts, taking them down slowly as he kissed the skin around your pelvis. He hit the jackpot. You weren’t wearing any panties either, and to make it better, you spread your legs for him, your lower lips inviting him to indulge.

'Cause I wanna stay forever, I know that you're the only one, only one.

“Wait, what if someone sees us?”

Choso is a bit frustrated now, interrupting him sucking the skin of your thighs. He nearly told you he didn’t fucking care, but when he looked up at you, there was that damn pout again. Swiftly, he scooped you up as you scrambled to grab your clothes before anyone found them. Hoisting you over his shoulder, you giggle a bit as he carries you down the hall and into your room, ensuring no one could hear you from all the way down there. After closing the door and locking it, he sat you on the bed, laying you out and opening your thighs so he could continue is mission. That had you chuckling, which was interrupted by you moaning his name as he took your clit into his mouth. He was a man starved, exploring pandora’s box for the first time. The sweet, sweet treasure he’d been waiting so long for, you exceeded his expectations. He was dedicated, sucking the bud in and out of his mouth and massaging his tongue against it in a circular motion. God, did it feel good, your fingers were pulling at his hair, you could swear it was gonna rip out. But he didn’t care. You could’ve killed him right now, but your pussy was already killing him. Especially when you got wetter and wetter, which Choso decided he wanted to explore before the main event. With two fingers, he brought them into your pussy, feeling your walls stretch around them. He was self indulgent, pumping them in and out of you, curling his finger up to hit that spot that was obviously very effective. He’s heard you say his name over twenty times now, each time you say it his dick is aching more and more. You were being so good, arching your back as he took all you could give, making you feel things you’d never felt before. You’ve had your fair share of lays, but Choso was surely the best so far. You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, whimpering as you rub your pussy on his lips. He was going crazy, his tongue working on its own at this point, fucking in and out of you as his thumb rubs your clit. And he wasn’t ashamed to moan as he ate you, he wanted you to know just how much he enjoyed it, how grateful he was. With one particularly hard suck, you came undone all over his lips. God, you were an angel, back arching off the bed as you pulled his hair, bringing him up to kiss you and kiss you he did. He was hungry now, continuing to finger you as you cracked from overstimulation.

“God, Choso, please.”

White roses in the snow, never let me go.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew exactly what you meant. That’s why he immediately went to work, stripping himself of his pijama pants and top, leaving just his boxers, which he was currently freeing his dick from. Now, Choso wasn’t the thickest guy around, but what he didn’t have in girth, he made up for in length. That’s why you looked in anticipation as he pumped his hands on it, taking some of your cum to saturate it before slipping inside of you. He’s died, thats it. He’s in fucking heaven. His brain can’t even comprehend the way you feel, almost upset with himself he hadn’t made a move on you sooner, knowing he could’ve been putting his dick inside you a long time ago. But none of that mattered now, not when he finally found himself all the way in.

Lyin' in your bed and movin' slow, takin' off our clothes, giving you it all.

Your moans, they were becoming too much. Choso wasn’t selfish, not at all, but the way you were sucking him in, he was tortured, waiting for you to adjust to his size. He was gonna do whatever he could to make this good for you. He didn’t even care about cumming himself, as long as you cum again, he’d be complete.

“You ready, baby?”

“Yes…please…fuck me.”

And with that, he let go. All resolve he had to not rush into things? Gone. Asking you to be his girl first? Gone. He was fucking you, here and now, and you were loving it. You bring your hands up to rub his back, pulling him in closer so you could kiss him, moaning into his mouth as he fucked you. God, you were addicting. He was doing anything he could to hear you say his name, singing him a lullaby that would be etched into his brain forever. All of a sudden, you bring your legs up to wrap around his back, locking him in place to fuck you deeper. That was Choso’s breaking point. He fucked you like he was insane, he swore you two would fall into the mattress. And you? You were so fucked out you were speaking what sounded like it was supposed to be his name. He brought his lips down to kiss you again, feeling the vibrations from your throat of you whimpering in pleasure.

“You like that baby?”

“Yes, Choso, so much.”

“You’re killing me.”

Choso had no thoughts, so focused on the way your pussy sucked him in and out, feeling like it was made for him. You were wrapping around him like a warm blanket, and he was addicted. He saw it when your lips parted to moan out louder, and as much as he loved the way you reacted to him drilling you, he had to bring his mouth up to your ear.

“You gotta be a little quieter, princess. Can’t have everyone hear how good you feel.”

He had gotten a bit cocky now, knowing he was about to make you cum again. It was so obvious, the staggering of your moans, your nails in his skin, your tits pressing against his chest from arching your back. Your whimpers sounded more like begging now and it was sending him over. He felt himself about to cum, but he had a mission to complete first. He brought his thumb up to rub your clit, making you squirm uncontrollably.

“Choso, I’m…I…”

“You gonna cum for me, baby?”

You couldn’t even answer, too busy focusing on every motion of his thumb, like watching every stroke of a paintbrush on a painting. Unfortunately for you, he needed that validation.

“Let me hear you, baby. Am I making this pussy feel good?”

“Yes, Choso, fuck!”

With that, he rubbed your clit even faster, bud sensitive from the second orgasm approaching.

“Wanna feel you cum for me, kay?”

Fuck, you were a good listener. In seconds, you came all over his dick, body jerking as you felt the ripples of your orgasm consume you. You swear you’ve never came that hard before, and Choso was reveling in it. The way your pussy was spasming around his dick, he couldn’t hold it much longer.

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside!”

All I need is you and me alone. Love is like a rose and baby, let it grow.

That was it. With another thrust, he spilled himself into you, heart and soul. God, was he in love with you, even more so that he unlocked a new part of you. His orgasm felt like an eternity like his body was giving him triumph after waiting so long to have you. And when it all came crashing down, he dropped beside you and laid on the bed. It was instinct, wrapping his arm around you to lay on his chest, panting from the fatigue settling in after fucking you the way he did. 

Neither of you said anything for a few minutes, Choso instead running his hand over your side, eyelids getting heavy. You shuffle a bit, turning you body to rest on your arms, looking up into his eyes. He was preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. What if you only wanted to fuck him? To be fair, you never told him you liked him back, and when he realized that, he felt himself go back to his typical nervous state.

“So… did you like it?”

“Yeah, a lot.”

“Good, um, glad I could make you feel good.”

You give him a confused look, like you were expecting him to say something else. He shook a bit, intimidated at the way you stared at him. The result? Word vomit.

“Look, I don’t know if you, uh, like me…you know like-”

“I do. Have for a while now.”

His heart skipped a beat, stomach doing backflips. He couldn’t believe it, he must be dreaming.

“You, uh, what, I-”

“Surprised you didn’t know. Everyone else does, even Megs. Sadly for him, I’m crushin’ on you. I mean, why else would I agree to kiss you? Or hold hands with you? Or not say anything when you shamelessly stare at my tits?”

You had a damn point. He felt stupid now, again, wishing he would’ve said something sooner.

“Can…um, do you…shit, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

No one knows the secrets that you know. So come on, pull me close, lay me in the snow.

The next morning, Choso wakes up before you. You were like an angel, sleeping and breathing softly under the sheets, still laying on his chest. Begrudgingly, he pulled off of you, needing to piss and have a smoke. When he finished in the bathroom, you were still sleeping, and the last thing he wanted to do was interrupt. So, he quietly put his clothes back on, walked out the room, closing your door softly. He walked down to his room and jumped at the sight of Yuuji at his door.

“Choso, you motherfucker, didn’t think you had it in you!”

I know you can feel it.

♱ the song used in this story is white roses by charli xcx. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

[littlerosetrove]

Eddie being baffling this season so far when it comes to Marisol nolastname:

has used her as a babysitter multiple times, especially when he wants to hang out with Tommy or probably even Buck.

on a call said he was "taken at the moment", which is WILD considering maybe a couple weeks later he:

"goes with his gut" and asks his girlfriend of maybe 4 months to move in with him, and then:

3-ish days later says, wait. nevermind. we don't actually know all that much about each other huh? ok, move out please haha!

BUT ALSO during the 3-ish days Marisol was barely moved in, --> Eddie's gut instinct to part of that mess (him not knowing how to set boundaries and say "hey, i don't want to have sex") was to break up with her. he may have been joking, but there was legit truth in it. alas. --> Bobby delicately tells Eddie he didn't think Eddie was so invested in Marisol that he'd ask her to move in already (which implies Eddie doesn't really even talk about her that much, let alone is serious about her). Bobby says you don't have commitment issues with some things. --> you can see on Eddie's face he really does think he should break up with Marisol, or at the very least has Definite Doubts about her, but pushes those correct feelings away to. double down with Marisol (stay with her anyway)... for some reason.

Marisol was MIA from either wedding, the big one and the one at the hospital. (Abuela was at the hospital wedding for some reason. no idea why, but it is funny that she's Eddie's plus one.)

In conclusion: Eddie and this whole nothing burger of a relationship is perplexing. I know Marisol is just a catalyst for Eddie's Catholic guilt apparently, but GD.

Also, Eddie I love you, but you're kind of a terrible boyfriend. Marisol like Ana also seems to have zero friends to tell her to leave already.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Johnny Cade and Steve Randle as Foils

Ok so the great thing about the Outsiders is how every character foils every other character in some way, but there is one glaringly obvious foiling is barely ever talked about and it drives me crazy because it’s brilliant. I’m talking of course, about the similarities between Johnny Cade and Steve Randle.

The brilliance of them as characters is that personality wise they’re almost complete opposites. Steve is cocky and self assured and has a bitter, occasionally cruel streak a mile wide. Johnny on the other hand, is unsure, quiet, and deeply kind. These differences are what people seem to focus on the most when discussing these characters, but as characters they’re actually INCREDIBLY similar.

Both of them are the members of the gang with the worst home lives, coming from downright abusive situations- yes, Dallas had a shit dad, but at the time of the book it’s established he’s living by himself at Buck’s, he’s made himself an adult and as such his home life doesn’t foil Johnny’s, not really. Steve on the other hand, still lives at home but gets kicked out every other week, and ends up crashing at the Curtis place or anywhere else he can find. His mother is deliberately never mentioned, leaving the audience to draw their own conclusions, but it’s clear Steve doesn’t have much of a relationship with her. Either she’s a doormat who doesn’t defend him when his dad is hollering or maybe even beating him around, or she isn’t around at all and she left him with his dad. Either way, Steve has an abusive father (EVEN if it isn’t physical it is DEFINITELY psychological and emotional) and a neglectful mother. We have even more backstory for Johnny whose mother is an emotionally abusive ‘selfish slob’ and whose father beats him viciously. Of all the gang, their backstories and home life are the most similar, and their characters have been shaped by it as a result. (The way Steve is sometimes vilified in this fandom for his very real responses to childhood trauma and abuse, while Johnny is universally pitied is a whole other essay so I’ll save if for another day.) 

Ponyboy even says as much early on in the book;

 “Johnny was high-strung anyway, a nervous wreck from getting belted every time he turned around and from hearing his parents fight all the time. Living in those conditions might have turned someone else rebellious and bitter; it was killing Johnny.”

Rebellious and bitter, huh? Sounds like Steve Randle to me. His presence in the book is to show what kids in Johnny’s situation but without Johnny’s kindness turn into. Yes, Dally foils him a bit in this regard too, but I think Steve is a better, more in your face example of it. Their are other pieces in the book too, that highlight Steve and Johnny’s similar upbringing and the effects it has had on them, without directly calling them out as foiling characters, such as the fact they’re the two members of the gang who Pony calls out as examples when he’s talking about starting smoking young (woohoo nicotine as a coping mechanism am I right?);

“Johnny had been smoking since he was nine; Steve started at eleven.”

Here, the linking of their names even in what Pony views as an innocuous thing- smoking isn’t a big deal to him- forces us as readers to think about why they started. Knowing that smoking is used by the greasers as a tool to help them calm down reminds us that at their core these characters aren’t so different, and they likely felt the need for nicotine to deal with horrible experiences Pony never had to. Ponyboy smokes a lot, and he started young too, but whatever his catalyst was, it wasn’t the same as Johnny or Steve’s.

Yet another attribute that links them as characters is their fierce independence. Johnny is young, and the gang is protective of him, but as his core he is incredibly self sufficient because he has to be. He finds himself places to sleep, is forced to provide himself with food, and prior to being jumped was fine walking by himself. Steve works for a living, and much like Johnny, he too has to find himself a place to sleep and food to eat on the nights where he isn’t safe to be at home. Both Steve and Johnny are also incredibly protective in their own ways, especially of their more ‘innocent’ best friends (Soda is less innocent than Pony by a long shot, but he is still used to a modicum of security that Steve isn’t.) Steve gets angry at Ponyboy on Soda’s behalf when he asks about Sandy, even though Pony had no way of knowing what happened. Johnny kills Bob for Pony and looks out for him a whole lot in the church, then later sacrifices himself when he pushes Pony out of the fire. To their buddies, their main ‘safe’ zones, both Steve and Johnny are ride or die.

Finally, an important scene that rounds out my analysis of them as foils, is when Dally dies and Steve breaks down crying. 

“Steve stumbled forward with a sob, but Soda caught him by the shoulders.”

Here we see Steve Randle pushed to his limit- and Steve’s breaking point leads to tears, whereas Johnny’s breaking point pushed him to kill Bob. There’s a subversion of their roles here, where the usually cold, bitter, hateful Steve shows a sensitive side, and quiet little Johnny Cade gets rough and cold. To me, this just shows once again, how they’re very similar characters, with similar trauma, that has simply shaped them differently and made them tough in different ways. Steve, with bravado, craving a fight all the time because he can’t fight the helplessness or the feelings of being stuck; Johnny, resigned to his lot in life and tough because of it, seeking out love when he knows he will never find it where he wants it; but at their cores the both of them are battered, lonely kids who were forced to grow up way too fast. 

[dat-bruv-person]

Imagine your account gets hacked and all the character freaks out when they realize it's not the same player that they know so..

A shitload of glitches, creepy messages on getting their "player" back. All of teyvat is on it too, killing the characters or the characters not even moving how the "new player" wants them to. The characters just stares at them with a deadpan look or a smile that looks creepy af.

They'll stop once you finally get your account back though. They'll also glitch all the device the other person used so they wouldn't be able to use genshin at all.

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ no ♡

a/n: YOU BASICALLY FINISHED THIS FOR ME ANON I HAVE NOTHING TO ADD unless...

gn!reader, poc!reader friendly

tw: hard to read writing, I'm really sorry for any inconveniences caused because of my writing, please let me know if I need to change the font so I don't hurt your eyes too much.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

˙ʞuᴉɥʇ noʎ uɐɥʇ lnɟɹǝʍod ǝɹoɯ ǝɹɐ ǝʍ ʇɐɥʇ ɹǝpuᴉɯǝɹ ʇɥƃᴉl ɐ sᴉ sᴉɥʇ ˙uᴉɐƃɐ sᴉɥʇ ɟo ʞɐǝds ʇou llɐɥs ǝʍ puɐ ɯǝɥʇ oʇ ʞɔɐq ʇunoɔɔɐ ɹᴉǝɥʇ uɹnʇǝɹ sᴉ op oʇ ǝʌɐɥ noʎ llɐ ˙ɯǝɥʇ ʇou ǝɹɐ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ ʍouʞ ǝʍ ˙uǝɥʇɐǝɥ noʎ 'ɹǝʎɐld ɹno ʞɔɐq sn ǝʌᴉƃ

- Genshin Characters when your account was first hacked.

W҈e҈ s҈h҈a҈l҈l҈ n҈o҈t҈ b҈e҈n҈d҈ t҈o҈ y҈o҈u҈r҈ w҈i҈l҈l҈, i҈f҈ t҈h҈a҈t҈ i҈s҈ w҈h҈a҈t҈ y҈o҈u҈ w҈a҈n҈t҈. A҈l҈l҈ c҈l҈a҈y҈m҈o҈r҈e҈ u҈s҈e҈r҈s҈, f҈r҈o҈m҈ n҈o҈w҈ o҈n҈, s҈h҈a҈l҈l҈ n҈o҈t҈ r҈e҈s҈p҈o҈n҈d҈ t҈o҈ c҈h҈a҈r҈g҈e҈d҈ a҈t҈t҈a҈c҈k҈ c҈o҈m҈m҈a҈n҈d҈s҈, a҈n҈d҈ e҈l҈e҈m҈e҈n҈t҈a҈l҈ s҈k҈i҈l҈l҈s҈ a҈n҈d҈ b҈u҈r҈s҈t҈s҈ m҈a҈y҈ w҈o҈r҈k҈ a҈b҈n҈o҈r҈m҈a҈l҈l҈y҈ o҈n҈ y҈o҈u҈r҈ d҈e҈v҈i҈c҈e҈. A҈l҈l҈ t҈h҈i҈s҈ m҈a҈y҈ b҈e҈ f҈i҈x҈e҈d҈ i҈f҈ o҈u҈r҈ o҈r҈i҈g҈i҈n҈a҈l҈ p҈l҈a҈y҈e҈r҈ r҈e҈c҈e҈i҈v҈e҈s҈ t҈h҈e҈i҈r҈ a҈c҈c҈o҈u҈n҈t҈ b҈a҈c҈k҈, h҈o҈w҈e҈v҈e҈r҈.

- Lisa, on behalf of all your characters, 2 days after your account was hacked.

You think you're really funny, huh? It has taken us an ungodly amount of time for us to find each other, for us to reunite, for us to meet [name]. You do not get to rip that bond away from us. They mean the world to us, they are an angel among the mortal scum of the outside world. We can do much more than disable claymore users' abilities. From today all sword users, including us, shall no longer respond to your commands, it won't be long until polearm, catalyst and bow users follow suit. But... you could return us to [name] and everything could be well <3

-Lumine and Aether, who wrote this whilst bawling their eyes out, 5 days after your account was hacked .

The wind is watching you, it hears you. It feels your every move.

- Venti and Kazuha, who at this point in time are probably the most desperate to get you back, 1 week after your account was hacked.

After 2 weeks, Little Miss Klee took matters into her own hands. Every day she sobbed in her room of the Serenitea Pot, holding Dodoco to her chest. Oh how she wished you would come back and play with her! The poor Spark Knight hopped out of her bed and faced the screen: angry and upset. She activated her burst all by herself, and hurled it at the screen with all her might - burning down the Serenitea Pot and setting the device your hacker was playing on alight. Smoke filled the rooms, and your parties soon realised what the young knight was doing. Diluc was the first to follow.

A fire phoenix ran across the field and toppled over the towers of the tea pot. Coughing echoed around the building, yet your characters were ready to die for you. Burst after burst after burst was unleashed relentlessly, the device overheating and the hacker's own life at major risk. They did not care. Finally, it was all finished off when the rock dropped, and the Raiden Shogun used the Misou no Hitotachi to shatter the place.

Divine Punishment had been administered, not just by the Electro Archon, but by all of them.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Wildest dreams, pt. 26

Summary: Y/N and Paul come to lunch at the Cullen’s house. 

Warnings: angst, fluff, sexual innuendos, swearing, talking about death

Wildest Dreams Masterlist

————————————

Parking in front of the Cullen’s house, Y/N gulps at the sight. The house is three stories tall with a wraparound porch, and large windows reflecting the sunlight. It’s a mansion compared to the houses in La Push; a very well-kept, modern mansion.

“We should probably go”, Paul’s the first one to speak. “They’re likely wondering why we’re sitting here and just staring at the house.”

“You think they’re watching us?”

“And listening”, Paul states before continuing with a smile. “So I want Rosalie to know that I come in peace and to not put any glass into my salad.”

Y/N raises her brows. “Huh?”

“She broke a glass bowl filled with salad when Bella first came to meet the family.”

“By accident?” Y/N asks with a slight frown but her eyes were reflecting the confusion while attempting to hide an inkling of panic her heart rate is betraying.

“Jacob said Bella came over AFTER eating a full course meal, unaware the Cullens spent all day prepping a lunch for her.”

“Is that why you didn’t let me eat anything today?!”

Shrugging, Paul smirks. “Just making sure we don’t have a repeat.”

With a wry smile, Y/N nods before taking a deep breath. 

‘How bad can they be?’ She thought. ‘They don’t feed on humans, only on Bambi. Don’t think about that! Ughhh, now I won’t be able to stop thinking about dead deer moms!’

Walking out, she huffs as Paul steps beside her, offering his hand for her to take. His grin isn’t helping ease her nerves either. When she came to him with news of the brunch invite, she didn’t expect him to accept. In fact, Y/N hoped he’d fight her on it until they both eventually agreed on a polite note declining the invitation. 

“Yes”, Paul answers almost instantly, eagerly even. 

“Yes?”

“Mhmm”, he spits out the toothpaste foam, opening the faucet. “Did you expect a different answer or something?” 

Snorting, she shakes her head slowly. “No?”

Washing off the remains of toothpaste from the sink, Paul closes the tap and wipes his mouth with a towel. “Is that a yes or a no?” Flashing his freshly cleaned pearly whites, Paul raises his brows at the way her heart skipped a beat from such a simple, everyday thing. It’s an ego boost to have her heart’s confirmation she truly does love him.

Frowning, she pouts. “I don’t understand. I thought you didn’t like the Cullens?” 

Heading back to the bedroom, Paul runs his fingers through his damp hair. “No. Not really. Their smell is a bit difficult to stand, but we’re good.”

“Since when?!”

“Since the almost battle that never happened”, Paul reminds her.

Swallowing thickly, Y/N sits on the bed, giving Paul a quick look over before setting her gaze back on his shit-eating grin. He knows exactly what he’s doing to her and he’s reveling in it.

“You mean the almost battle in which one of the Cullens said you’d have died? That one?”

Paul’s smile disappears as he nods curtly. “But it didn’t happen and I’m here.”

“Yes, but it makes me anxious, okay? You being around them, especially if the Volturi are setting their sights on them again…just feels dangerous.”

“For you”, Paul reminds her. “I’m not the one we have to worry about.”

“So why are we accepting this invite?”

Sighing, Paul kneels before her, his hands resting on her thighs firmly. “Because if there’s a shit-storm coming our way, it will come with or without their presence. This way we have a powerful ally that can help.”

“Or they’re the catalyst of everything you’ve been so terrified of”, she argues.

“Our lands have always drawn the supernatural. If it’s not them, something else would be a catalyst and I feel safer knowing they’re closer to us.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, she bites her lower lip. “Because if I do get mortally wounded, they’d be there to turn me into one of their own?”

“I didn’t say that”, Paul states firmly. 

“I already told you I don’t want to be a vampire”, Y/N presses her lips in a thin line. 

“And I didn’t say I’d do anything to disrespect your wishes.”

“I can see it in your eyes, Paul. I might not be able to listen to your heartbeat or sense your pheromones or whatever you do to figure me out, but your eyes are incapable of lying.” Rubbing her nose, she looks away. There’s a lump building at the back of her throat and she feels like she’s losing her mind, but she can’t stop thinking turning her into a vampire would be the worst idea Paul’s ever had. 

But Paul doesn’t want to lose her. He doesn’t want to wake up without her by his side nor go to bed knowing she’s not following soon behind. He needs more time, a lifetime. How can she hear him cry when he dreams of her death and not choose to do anything to prevent inflicting that pain on him? 

“Alright, I was considering it,” Paul admits, shamefully lowering his gaze as she turns her eyes onto him once more. “I don’t want to do something you’re against, but I am begging you to at least not be so definitive about it.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you”, she whimpers. “But every cell in my body is quivering with the mere thought of agreeing to it.”

“At least think about it? Ask Bella and the rest of them about how it was for them and then make a choice. I’ll respect it, but only if you do this for me. Please do this for me”, Paul begs, his eyes brimming with tears, crumbling to pieces in front of her and she can’t ignore it.

“Ok”, she swallows the lump at the back of her throat but a new one forms, quickly replacing it.

“OK?”

Nodding, she manages a meek smile for his benefit. “We can go and I’ll talk to them and I won’t hastily disagree anymore.”

Walking across the porch to the front door, Y/N grips Paul’s hand tighter. She doesn’t get a chance to knock as the door swings open and Jacob’s grin meets her. 

“Thought you’d turn around and run”, he cackles before stealing Y/N away from Paul.

Wide-eyed she looks to her imprint as Jacob’s arms wrap around her, half hugging and half carrying her into the house.

Once her feet find the ground once again, she turns around only to find a group of deathly pale people staring at her intently. They’re smiling, but despite the alluring tone their welcoming smiles are meant to set, it sends chills down Y/N’s spine.

Intimidating isn't the right word for how she'd describe the sight before her. While Renesmee possesses an inhuman beauty, it cannot compare to the rest of her family. She only ever saw Edward in passing, once, and that was enough to suspect him of being a genetically engineered specimen, now she knows the truth to be far more sinister. 

Frightening is a better term to use, like standing in front of art come to life, as if the greatest of ancient sculptures have gained consciousness and a thirst for blood.

'They drink animal blood', Y/N reminds herself. 'But nothing stops them from changing their mind at any moment. I certainly can't and Paul would die trying.'

Noticing Edward's eyebrows furrow, she purses her lips. 

'You're the mind reader', she nods curtly. He returns the gesture with a slight smile. 

"Welcome", a petite woman with caramel brown hair and a kind smile greets them, gently shaking Y/N’s hand moments after peeling away from the handsome, very tall blond-haired man standing in the front of the group. 

Gulping, Y/N feels her heart skip a beat with the sudden movement and cold touch. It’s like shaking hands with marble floors, yet the woman’s smile is warmer than her touch. Despite it, Y/N can’t help the way her entire body tenses up, clenching her jaw to stop her lips from trembling in fear.

“I think we should give our guest time to adjust”, the man places his hand on the kind woman’s shoulder and she steps back. 

Esme and Carlisle from what Y/N can remember. No one showed her photos, but Jacob and Paul had an abundance of choice words describing the family to prepare her…Well, they did a shit job. No one prepared her for how stuffy the air is nor how all of her primal instincts are screaming at her to run and hide, indicating danger.

‘Carlisle is a doctor too and Paul said he’s a good man’, she notes as she feels a wave of calm wash over her. Furrowing her brows, she glances at Paul. “I feel weird”, she says quietly, forgetting everyone else can hear her. 

“That’s probably Jasper”, Bella smirks as she looks toward the guy on her left. He’s tall, as well, probably a foot taller than Y/N and his honey-blond hair is longer, neatly pulled back to fully reveal his pale face. Somehow his golden eyes are lighter, and more prominent than others, reminding her of honey in the sunshine. “He can manipulate emotions”, Bella explains.

Pursing her lips, Y/N nods. “Do you do that on purpose or is it like a reflex where certain emotions violently affect you and you’re forced to react to ease it for your own sanity?”

Raising his brows, Jasper’s lopsided smile lights up his face. He’s probably the most handsome of them all when he smiles, Y/N decides while thanking God Paul can’t read her mind. 

“Both, I suppose,” Jasper answers, his voice laced with a subtle Southern accent. “I can stop”, he offers sweetly.

“I actually appreciate it”, Y/N smiles lightly. “Truth be told I’m nervous as hell and perhaps scared to a degree. I’ve gotten used to fur and claws, but this is a whole other thing.”

“I felt the same way”, Jacob reassures her. “But you’re safe here.”

“The only one who didn’t feel that way is Bella, but she’s always been a little out there”, the large man with a Barbie on his arm snickers before giving Y/N a playful wave. “We get it...Just don’t bleed in the house and you’ll probably walk away with a full belly and no incidents.”

“Emmett!” Bella warns, her eyes narrowing at the burly man who simply shrugs before smiling at Y/N, showing his dimples.

‘How does a vampire even have dimples?!’

“I’m being honest, which I’m sure you prefer.” Giving Y/N a pointed look, his smile widens.

Nodding once, Y/N blinks fast. Biting her lip, she looks at Jasper. “I might need to stay closer to you today. Is there a perimeter in which you operate or can you manipulate emotions anywhere in the house?”

Barking out a laugh, Emmett places a hand over his chest. “She thinks you’re an emotional Wi-Fi router!”

Blush adorns Y/N’s cheeks as embarrassment floods her senses only to find it dispersed as quickly as Emmett caused it. “Thank you”, she mouths to Jasper before looking at the only two she hasn’t spoken to.

“You’re Rosalie”, Y/N focuses on the astonishing woman by Emmett. Her wavy blonde hair is fixed up in a bun, revealing her long, elegant neck and her golden eyes are slightly darker than the rest of the family, making Y/N slightly more nervous. 

“And you’re Y/N”, Rosalie forces a smile. “Who hasn’t eaten all day, right?” Raising her perfectly arched eyebrows, Rosalie glances at Paul who nods eagerly.

“As promised, she had nothing to eat. Not even breakfast.” Paul grins, resting his hands on Y/N’s shoulders for support. He’s aware she’s probably freaking out now, but his best chance at convincing her to stay is to let the Cullens do what they do best: schmooze her into loving them as they did with most of the pack. 

Finally, Y/N redirects her gaze to the only one of the bunch who she can feel taller than. “Alice, I presume”, she says with a cautious smile as the vampire’s big eyes widen in excitement. 

“You’d be right”, Alice heads toward her but pauses when Y/N releases a quiet, barely audible gasp. “Sorry, I forgot to slow down”, she giggles. “I do that sometimes, but I’m harmless. Just ask Bella!”

Making eye contact with Bella who chuckles, Y/N sighs. “Friend shaped...got it!” Leaning into Paul, Y/N licks her lips wondering if she should ask outright or wait till they’ve eaten. “So, you can see the future, huh?”

‘Patience was never my stronger suit.’

“Versions of the future”, Alice confirms. “It’s always changing as every decision made affects the outcome.”

Swallowing thickly, Y/N looks up over her shoulder to find Paul’s closed his eyes. He’s afraid. No matter what Alice says or what Y/N agrees to, he’s deathly afraid of the future and it pains her to see him so defeated. A man so brave is now brought to his knees and she can’t figure out how to tell him that turning her into a vampire will bring them no good. Isn’t it better to remember her fondly when she’s gone than to watch her become a bloodthirsty creature who won’t yearn for him or enjoy his presence? She won’t be who she was anymore, she won’t be the woman he loves now.

“I’d like to talk more about it once we eat the delicious food you guys prepared.” Y/N forces a somewhat genuine smile, deciding it would be better if Paul isn’t present when she speaks to Alice or any of them. “It smells like heaven and I’m famished thanks to Paul.”

Snorting, Paul pecks her temple. “You love me anyway.”

Cupping his cheek, Y/N’s smile softens. “It’s a burden I have to carry”, she remarks before walking toward Esme.

Esme lights up as she realizes Y/N’s already warming up to her, seeing her as less of a danger. 

“I’m sorry for my apprehension and I would like to thank you and Carlisle for having us over.”

“It’s our pleasure.” Esme gestures toward the kitchen, “We prepared a lot of food. Jacob usually eats most of it, so we had to account for two wolves today.”

Chuckling, Y/N nods, allowing Esme to lead her inside. “It’s such a hassle, I agree. No matter how much food I bring into the house, it’s all gone by the next day! I’m going bankrupt feeding Paul!”

While Y/N walked inside with a much more relaxed and positive attitude, Paul remained in the hall. Jacob and Edward hang back with him, watching as everyone poured into the kitchen to help set up the table. 

“What’s the situation”, Paul asks Edward.

“She’s having a hard time accepting all of this”, he replies. “Y/N strongly believes it would be a mistake if she turns.”

“Can you get more specific?” Jacob raises his brows. “If Paul’s to find a way to convince her, we need specifics.”

“Are you sure you want that to happen”, Edward asks quietly. “This won’t be like Bella. If anything, she might be more of a Jasper.”

“Why would you think that?” Paul frowns.

“Anxiety and depression lurking in her mind make her less emotionally stable, it could make her prone to a lot more mistakes when she turns,” Edward explains.

Paul shakes his head vehemently. “Didn’t you say being a vampire heals everything?”

“Sometimes a fractured mind is just that, a fractured mind”, Edward glances at Y/N carrying a few napkins. “She worries she won’t be the same. That she’ll be lost in her thirst for blood and that if she dies your imprint bond would break.”

“Even if it breaks, I’d still fucking love her”, Paul retorts quickly. “I loved her before the bond, I know I’d love her even if it broke.”

“But would she love you?”

Edward’s question brings chills down Paul’s spine. Truth is, he can’t be certain. She says she cared for him before the imprinting, but most of what he got from her was hate. All his life he believed Y/N Y/L/N hates his guts and would sell him out for a light breeze on a sunny day. Never before had it actually occurred to Paul that maybe the feelings Y/N has for him twisted her memories and feelings in a way that would bind her to him. She might believe she loved him before, but all those confessions came in conversations after imprinting. 

His love for Y/N has always been real, but he can’t be sure it’s the same for her.

Can he risk that?

Will he put their love to the test?

Yes.

Because even if he doesn’t like the answer, at least she’ll be alive. Y/N will have a chance to find happiness without Paul in the picture. And he’ll watch, cheer for her if necessary. He can’t be selfish with his heart – with his Y/N. 

“I just want her to live”, Paul sighs. “Nothing else matters to me.”

“Paul”, Jacob starts but one look from Paul shuts him up.

“We have to convince her or she’ll die and we will spend whatever time we have left wondering if we did enough to save her life. I can’t live like that. Can you?”

_______________________

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A/N: if anyone wants to be added or taken off the tags, leave a comment or send an ask. Make sure your blog visibility settings are on and that your blog hasn’t been flagged (blurry pfp is usually your clue that you have been flagged) as those are most common reasons why tumblr won’t let you be tagged. Also keep in mind changing your @ might mean you lose your tag since I can’t track everyone down when that happens. Other than that, hope you enjoy the series and I want to thank you all for being patient. I’ve definitely taken a lot of time off between the chapters due to life interfering. Hopefully I won’t need this much time to write the next one xD. 

PART 27

[randomlywanderingmoth]

Tam Lin Bedivere: Interactions

Common Master: Ah. How did this one summon me in the first place? This is Pan-Human History, there should be no catalysts that exist to draw me out... sheer compatibility perhaps? "Whatever troubles you, worry not. I am here for whatever you may need. Do not hesitate to call on me."

(Generally, toward her Master, Tam Lin Bedivere will be professional, supportive, and protective. The mask of stoicism she maintains rarely ever slips- only in truly unguarded moments does the Fairy Knight of Autumn drop her facade, and only then does the innocently impish girl come out. In those moments, one could be forgiven for mistaking her for the Last Master of Humanity- or for those lacking context, a seemingly normal girl.)

Fujimaru Ritsuka (pre Ordeal Call): "... Ah. Of course it would be like this. If I may air my sole criticism, you really ought be more aware of yourself." That's advice you'll probably never take, I think. As long as you're on this hellish track, you will never take the chance to introspect. Is that a curse, or a blessing? Even I couldn't say.

Kadoc Zemlupus: "Sup nerd... huh. That was a reflex- did I know you once? I don't recognize you from Fae Britain..." For some strange reason, something about him annoys me... I can't place it. Well, as long as he is my Master and I am his Servant, we have a job to do.

Mash Kyrielight: ... it's her. It's her. It's that girl I almost can't remember quite right. The Tam Lin of Chaldea. I don't understand- I don't understand- why does seeing her make my chest hurt? I can't... I can't speak to her like this.

(Generally, her memories of Chaldea's humans is mostly dulled, by sheer passage of time. Her criticism of The Last Master of Humanity is more a criticism of her past self, when she failed to prevent the Savior Aesc's tragedy, and nearly died in the process. This girl who looks too much like her, and acts too much like she once did, provokes such a reaction.)

Artoria Caster: "Ah- I'm surprised to see you here. It's odd, I didn't think- eh? Ah. You're a Servant now. I see. Here that other me survived, and you were the one who died. We never spited fate in this timeline. Well... if you are as capable as you were, I look forward to being in your care."

Melusine: "Ah, it's Melusine. You seem well. How about it, want to go and enjoy the breeze at high altitudes? ... eh? How do I know you? Well... we were friends, in another time." Well, at least she's doing well enough... although... is she drinking soy sauce?

Barghest: "Barghest! Hey, I- one moment-" gotta get a bit of height on her so she doesn't hurt her neck- "right, there we go. So, how's Chaldea been treating you? Hmm? Oh- just think of me like a coworker." And rival among Her Majesty's knights, but you don't need to hear that.

Baoban Sith: Oh good, she's here too. Well, I suppose I don't have to be her minder, so at least there's that. "Baoban Sith. I do hope the lack of fae here agrees with you. Ah- no, I'm not that Master. Hmm? Shoe shopping, what?" Oh no, please don't say that the other me is also her minder...

(The disadvantage of being from fully an alternate timeline is that nobody knows you in this one. Generally, Tam Lin Bedivere has been made aware that in this timeline, she did not exist. By and large, most Servants would recognize Tam Lin Bedivere not to be Fujimaru Ritsuka rather quickly; Baoban Sith simply feigned ignorance for her own amusement.)

Morgan: "I'm here, Your Majesty. Hmm? No, there's no mission, I simply wished to enjoy your company... thank you, Your Majesty." The look in her eyes... she doesn't know me, and yet she tolerates my presence. Our Master comes first, but she comes immediately after. Even in this life, even if you don't recall me, I remain ever loyal.

Habetrot: "Eh- Totorot? ... ah, my apologies, Habetrot. You looked like someone I knew. Hey, do you do commission? I can give you my measurements if you need." That grin, the way you hold a needle... even if it isn't the you I knew... it's still you, isn't it. Totorot, my friend...

Oberon: "... you know I know it's you, right? Don't be coy, not with me, I won't be patient with your antics."

Vortigern: "And behold, the King of Curses. You get one chance, if you betray our Master's trust... what's with that look, huh? Are you already up to something?" Even if this man is no longer driven by a need to destroy Faerie Britain, he's still a terrible imp of a man who is always looking to cause trouble for his own entertainment.

Merlin: "Oh, goodie. Merlin. If we're not about to go on a mission, I have dust motes to categorize." I don't strictly hate him, I just can't stand being around him. I can never tell if his smile is genuine or not, and it bothers me rather a lot. Of course, Master insists that we're 'compatible for missions', and something about busters, but I can't make heads or tails of that.

Bedivere: "Ah, Sir Bedivere. I hope you don't mind that I've taken your name... eh? Of course I'm loyal to Her Majesty. Yes, even after she passed." I like this one. I like this one quite a lot. I hope we can continue to get along this well... perhaps we could fistbump.

Count of Monte Cristo: "You're in the wrong shadow again, Count. Come out here. What's with that forlorn expression, anyway?" It's so annoying, the way he looks at me like something bad happened to his Master. Aside from that... he's remarkably amicable. I'd heard Avengers were difficult to get along with, but this one is fairly nice, if eccentric...

Likes: "I like camping. Tending a bonfire with traveling companions, telling stories and watching the stars... there's something deeply calming of it all." I still remember our travels, Aesc. I still remember our journeys, so fondly... but... why do I feel like there were journeys before those?

Dislikes: "I have trouble with liars but I can stomach them. Traitors make my skin crawl... it's the complacent forgiveness of betrayal that I can't stomach. You can only witness so many backstabbings of so many friends before you lose patience." Besides of which, if we'd acted back then... Aesc's tragedies may have never happened. That Cnoc na Riabh's tragedy as well.

The Grail: "A wish? An earnest wish, from the heart... I would wish for the chance to travel with them again. To see the world, to help the world, alongside them." Totorot. Grimr. Ector. Wryneck. Uther. Aesc. No matter how many millenia pass, I refuse to forget the ones who grieved my pains, who shared their journey with me. Who saved me from... whatever came before.

[didhewinkback]

Something Old: Part Five

word count: 20k (omfg); story page

warnings: smut smut smut

---

“No - mum - you’ve gotta tilt the - I can’t see - can you get Archie to help you?”

“Oi, I’m not a bloody senior citizen, I can handle a bit of tech.”

“Okay, but the way you’ve got the camera angled, I’m looking up your nostrils right now.” you say, watching as she tries to angle the camera differently, only making your view worse. 

“Oh bugger it all…” she mutters before shouting: “Archie!!!” almost right into the microphone, making you cringe. 

“Right in my ear, mum.”

“Sorry, love.” she says, before bringing the phone closer to her face, bringing you impossibly closer to her nose hairs. “You alright, bug? Looking a bit peaky.”

“Yeah, you look like shit.” Archie says as he snatches your mum’s phone out of her hand, making a face at you on the screen. 

“Hello to you too, dickhead.” you shoot back.

“Language!!” your mum clucks.

“Mum, he literally started it.” you say as Archie snickers on the other end, flipping you off, before passing the phone back to your mum with a “it’s this button here”, and then suddenly you’re staring at her new garden, fresh azaleas that she and Anne planted fully in bloom.

“Oh, it looks great!”

“Changing the subject, I see,” she muses, before stage whispering, “Don’t worry, I won’t mention the H word.”

“Mummmm,” you groan, Archie’s laugh echoing as he heads back into the house. “I’m fine, honestly. Just haven’t been sleeping well, been a weird few days.” 

“Yeah, gotta be a tough month, huh?” she says, quickly speaking over you when she sees you open your mouth. “I know, I know, we’re not talking about it. Let’s check out these pansies…”

Right. That. It had been one month since you last saw Harry. One month since you last spoke to him, since he last held your hand, since he last kissed you, since he last pressed you into the mattress…okay, best not think about that when you’re on the phone with your mum.

It’s been an adjustment, to say the least. Once you touched back down in London, you realized you had no plan for what you were going to tell the people in your life about what went down. The ones who knew you and Harry, the ones who were at the wedding, the ones who would have about 18 billion questions for you. Like your mum who was about to have your head if you didn’t give her some sort of update. Or your schoolmates from home, who were blowing up the group chat with their 8th conspiracy theory about what really went down by now.  Or your roommate Roxy, who knew you like the back of her hand, and was the first to steer you towards the bar the first night you met Erin and was the one who held you while you cried when they announced their engagement. You trusted her with your life, but could you trust her with Harry’s?

To even question that made you ill. You had been so caught up in your Italian lovenest that you hadn’t taken any time to think about the reality you were coming back to. A wedding was supposed to happen but didn’t because of you. No matter how many times Harry tried to take the blame, you know your confession was the catalyst, the impetus for him calling it off. And now you had to face the consequences alone. Did you pretend you knew just about as much as everyone else, which you’re hoping is not much? Lie to the people you’re closest to? For two months?! That sounded insane but you also knew you couldn’t go around telling everyone the whole truth. Jesus Christ. 

You hid in your room for a day or two, slowly digging your way out of the hole you found yourself in, taking it one step at a time, wishing you could talk this over with him, but knowing you couldn’t. You decided to operate on a strict need to know basis, which means your mates from out were out. You left the group chat alone, there were enough messages in there that maybe they won’t realize you never responded and it’d be far too suspicious to join the conversation now. Johnny definitely knew something was up, he had sent you a separate but simple “hope he went and got you x” that made your head spin a bit, as you realized he’s probably known something was up for years but you could deal with that later. 

You called your mum to assure her you were alright, back safe in your flat, that you would come home to visit soon and explain everything when you could.  She was not satisfied with that answer, you could practically feel her rolling her eyes at you through the phone, but she let you off the hook, this time. And, now that you think about it, you couldn’t go home because that would mean seeing Anne and who knows what she knows and what you could tell her and what Harry doesn’t want her to know quite yet - 

Okay. No. You couldn’t live like this. 

You had still been ruminating on what to do about Roxy as you snuck out to grab a glass of water, wondering how to approach this. You needed someone to talk to, you couldn’t just keep this all bottled up on your own and this was one of your best friends, and your newer, closer proximity to Harry wasn’t going to change that. 

“Okay I let you have one day to mope but you had about two hours before I was going to stage an intervention.”

The sound of her voice made you jump in the air, so caught in your head you didn’t even hear her approach. 

“Jesus Christ, Rox. Scared the shit out of me.” you said, turning to face her.

“I’m serious, babe. You’ve been like a little recluse.” she said, propping herself up to sit on the counter. “How bad was it? Didn’t hear from you all weekend and you haven’t left your room…so I’m assuming, pretty bad.”

Moment of truth. You could lie and pretend for the next two months or you could tell the truth. Have someone to confide in. She had been on this journey with you for years and she would absolutely kill you if she learned you were hiding this from her.

“Um. Actually. He didn’t get married.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m serious.”

“Is it because…” her eyes searched your face, widening when she realized. “Holy shit. Did you? Oh my god - I’m actually going to cry. Did you tell him?”

You nod. 

“That’s my girl!!” she screamed before tackling you to the ground, the two of you cracking up the whole way as she demanded details.

After you swore her to secrecy, to which she scoffed “Mildly insulted you even had to ask, babe.” you told her everything. From the confession in the courtyard, to him asking you to leave with him, to a first date in Italy, to where you are now, on pause. It feels insane to say it all out loud, in disbelief that this is your life, that that whirlwind 72 hours actually happened.

“You’re going to make me believe in love again.” Roxy said, still laying on the kitchen floor with you.

“Shut up.” you said, rolling your eyes, unable to stop the blush on your cheeks.

“I’m serious. So happy for you. And proud of you. ” she said, reaching out her hand for you to hold on to. “I know this next bit is gonna be rough, but you got through all that shit to get here. And you got me. Yeah?”

So you thought, yeah, okay, maybe you could do this. You threw yourself into work and catching up with friends, doing anything you could to distract yourself, ignoring headlines and social media at all cost. Some weeks were easier than others, with Roxy always there to drag you out with your friends when you were getting too overwhelmed by it all. 

You went home, which was awkward at first, until you assured your family that everything was good but complicated, that you were figuring things out and it would be easier not to talk about it. To which your parents reluctantly agreed, both looking chuffed and a bit red around the eyes as they squeezed you a little tighter. Archie tried his luck later at the pub when it was just the two of you, only dropping it after being sure you knew “if he hurts you, I’ll kill him” in a way only younger brothers can.

You could do this. As long as you were distracted with work, family, friends. As long as you didn’t let your mind wander, as long as you kept busy, as long as you didn’t think about Harry or Erin or the wedding you ruined or the relationship you were maybe in that was on pause. It was then you began to falter. Late nights where you found yourself seconds away from googling him, wanting to be sure that both teams held up their end of the bargain, before shutting off your phone, knowing if something changed, he would tell you. 

You could drive yourself crazy wondering what he was up to, if he was happy, if he’d want this break to go on for longer, if the time away made him change his mind. As the weeks went on, you began missing him more than ever, his absence weighing more heavily on you than it ever had in years before. It felt different, this time.  

You had never felt like this before, in a relationship. Like you needed the other person. Not even in any sort of way, just needed to hear their voice or see their face. You missed him so viscerally it was shocking to you, and made you question everything. Why were you missing him so much? Was it just because you loved him or was it because you were so insecure you couldn’t believe the relationship would work unless you had eyes on him? What type of person does that make you? Erin would be able to handle a two month pause. Doubts crept into your mind, as you tossed and turned on your bed in the late hours, unable to quiet your racing mind. Insecurity wove its way into your brain, feeling pathetic in a way you hadn’t in years. 

So yeah, you hadn’t been getting much sleep. 

“Is Roxy there, love? Would love to say hi.” your mum said, pulling you out of your thoughts and bringing you back to the present. 

“Do a wellness check on me, you mean?” you ask ruefully as you get up to head to Roxy’s room, knocking softly before entering as she leaps up to take the phone from your hands, almost immediately closing the door on you, to have the conversation away from your prying ears. 

“Mama Ang!!” you heard her crow before her voice dropped down to a whisper. “You know, babe, I know just about as much as you do. The girl won’t tell me anything…”

You rolled your eyes, though it was hardly annoying to be this looked after. You had a great support system to get you through this. You were fine. You could handle sleepless nights and moments of doubt, you had great people in your life there to support you and fill the gaping hole you were beginning to feel in his absence. 

It was about a week and a half later when it all fell apart. 

The distractions were becoming less effective, the questions and doubts rattling around in your brain more often than not. And then…it was just one of those days. You slept past your alarm, the line at the cafe down the street was too long to stop at before work and you were almost positive you were about to get your period, if the way you teared up watching a girl and her grandma reading together on the tube was any indication. 

Then, you hadn’t been paying close attention at work and had missed an entire section on a grant proposal that had been sent in earlier that day. Your boss called you into her office and reamed you out, making you feel like a proper idiot.  You never make mistakes like this but that didn’t seem to matter. You spent several hours on the phone before the board agreed to accept the edited proposal, which you stayed after hours to write up and send in. It was late when you arrived home, exhausted and wrung out, just looking forward to taking a hot shower and getting into bed when you saw a note from Roxy on the coffee table saying the hot water was off and the landlord couldn’t come until tomorrow to fix it. 

And that was it. 

You collapsed on the couch, tears immediately pouring out of your eyes in frustration, stress, exhaustion, all the emotions you had been trying to keep at bay the past month rushing forward. You were dialing your phone before you realized what you were doing, eyes flying open when you heard the first few rings and immediately hanging up. You couldn’t do that, not yet. There were still a few weeks until the end date and this hardly constituted an emergency, just a bad day you could get over by yourself despite how badly you wanted to hear his voice. Feeling so sorry for yourself another fresh round of tears sprung to your eyes. 

He probably wouldn’t even notice the missed call but maybe you should text him just in case? Like a “please ignore, that was an accident”? You didn’t want to double down when you weren’t supposed to be in communication at all. You hated this feeling of overwhelming doubt, questioning yourself at every turn, resistant to even slightly overstep the boundaries he had asked for. You hadn’t been thinking. Why did you dial his number?! 

Your phone started to vibrate in your hands. 

Shit. 

It was him. 

You wiped your face, clearing your throat in an attempt to sound like you hadn’t in fact been having a mental breakdown, adjusting your airpods before you answered.

“Hi,” he said breathlessly, as if he ran to pick up the phone. “Just saw you called - wouldn’t have missed it if I saw.” 

“Oh you could have missed it. It’s not important.” Your words were flying out of your mouth, tripping over your tongue in embarrassment.  “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean -” 

“Whoa, hey. ‘S alright.” he says gently. “You okay?”

“Yeah, fine.” you say, your voice coming out choked, a bit strained, completely unconvincing. You clear your throat. “Just a shit day and wasn’t thinking and called your number on instinct. Wasn’t trying - I didn’t mean to break the pause.”

“Fuck the pause. We started it, we can break it.”

“It’s really not important –”

“Sounds like y’ crying, that sounds important to me –”

“But H, you asked for space –”

“Yeah space to sort my life out, not to leave you alone when you’re upset.” he says adamantly. “Know what I asked for but y’called me crying and I don’t care if it was an accident or not, ‘m not going anywhere until you talk to me.” 

“But I’m not gonna just barrel all over the boundaries we set and the space you needed because I had a bad day.”

“I appreciate that and I promise I’d tell you if I thought this was crossing a line that I didn’t want to. But ‘s not. Want you to talk to me.”

“If you’re sure - ”

“Dead sure. Quite flattered that I’m your go-to call.”

“Okay,” you say, snorting a laugh as you roll your eyes. “Now I’m gonna hang up.”

“Heeey. Talk to me. Please?” 

And you do. You catch him up on your day, your boss being an asshole but also you feeling so stupid because you did in fact mess up and it wasn't like you were getting yelled at for nothing. He responds in all the right places, each hum, gasp or “fuck them” he utters making your heart warm, the feeling of talking to him for the first time in weeks settling something in you, tears long forgotten. 

“Shit day,” he says emphatically once you finish as you hum in response. “Know I don’t know much about that world but I do know that you’re brilliant at that job. And there are very few people who would own up to a mistake and stay late to make it even better than before. They’re lucky to have you and they better bloody know it.” 

You snort out a laugh. 

“‘M serious.” 

“I know you are.” you say softly, playing with the pillow on your lap, fingers scratching over the patterns. “Thank you for listening.” 

“Course.” he says, just as soft. “I miss you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” he says, scoffing a laugh. ‘Why do y’sound surprised?”

“I’m not, I just was getting so in my head the last few weeks, it’s been nice to hear your voice.”

“Getting in your head about what?”

“Oh, no, it’s going to sound so stupid -” 

“Try me.”

You heave a sigh, feeling your cheeks warm. He says your name gently, pleadingly. 

“I’m not sure I even know how to articulate it.”

“Take your time, love. ‘S just me. Not going anywhere.” 

You pause, listening to the sounds of him breathing on the other end, the silence helping you focus. 

“I just think I…” you pause, taking a breath. “I’ve been surprised by how different this feels? Like I’ve gone this long without seeing you or talking to you before and it’s been fine but the last two weeks I’ve felt like, needy for you in a way I’ve not felt before.”

He hums in surprise, you can practically see the way his eyebrows shoot up, can hear the smile growing on his face.

“Okay, you arse, not like that.” you say, laughing when he does. “Okay - not entirely like that. I just think… I didn’t expect to miss you this much. Like I miss you more than I ever have. And the stakes are different this time, I just –”

You pause, every thought you’ve had these past few days rattling around in your brain as you try to sort them out. He stays silent on the other end, patient. Not pushing you into speaking before you’re ready. 

“I think I didn’t realize how much I was affected by what happened the last time we saw each other. To go from not having you to having you to suddenly not having you again...it scares me that something like that could happen again.”

You hear him inhale sharply on the other end, every self conscious fiber of your being telling you to be quiet, to tell him you’re fine, it’s all good and you’ll see him in a month. It’s what you’ve always done with him, it’s what you did all those years ago, scrubbing at dishes in the sink at Christmas when he looked so confused and lost, wanting to scream all your emotions at the top of your lungs but instead swallowing them down and hiding yourself away. It’s not like that anymore, things are different and you’re different. You have to plow through.  

“And I know that’s why we’re doing what we’re doing, why we’re on pause, to sort everything out which was necessary and I don’t regret it at all. And I know this pause isn’t how our relationship will feel, like a pause is different, in the future we’ll be talking more often and seeing each other. I just think I wasn’t expecting to feel all this much.”

“It’s never felt like this before, for me. A relationship, I mean. I got so self conscious about why I was missing you so much that I started to doubt things and feel insecure but talking to you now I think I just…”

“You just what?” he asks gently.  

“Just…really love you?” You say with an embarrassed laugh, hearing the almost startled sound he makes, like his emotions got caught in his throat. “I've not felt like this before about anyone. Not even you. Which is amazing and scary and… I’m so used to closing parts of myself off to you in order to hide my true feelings for you which aren’t a secret anymore. So it's an adjustment, to fight against the instinct to keep things to myself, not to show all my cards. Because I want you to know all of me, all the cards, I'm just not used to knowing that can happen.” 

“Makes sense. I think there’s definitely going to be adjustments as we’re entering new territory. But I’m here for all of it. I don’t want you keeping your feelings from me.”

“I know, I’m still getting used to it, I guess.”

“Yeah, I get that. But I love when you need me.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware –”

“Oiii you didn’t let me finish,” he all but whines. “Just mean you can be kind of a closed book–”

“Hmm, sound familiar?”

“Y’keep interrupting me and ‘m gonna hang up.”

“No, you won’t.”

He pauses. 

“No, I won’t. You’re lucky you’re hot.” 

That startles a laugh out of you, his chuckles on the other end warming you down to your toes.

“If you would let me finish - my sentence you numpty -” he says quickly the second he hears your intake of breath, effectively cutting off the sexual innuendo he somehow knew you were gearing up to say. “Y’ always encourage me to tell you what’s on my mind, but so rarely do the same for yourself. And I…I want all of it, with you. All of the mess and the ugly feelings. Think we got ourselves into this mess by keeping too much to ourselves and that’s the last thing I want. When it comes to you, I want it all.”

“And it goes both ways, ‘ve gotta be letting you in too. Like..” he takes a deep breath, letting out a sheepish laugh at himself. “I almost called you about 8 times that first week, convinced y’ were going to realize I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”

“What?”

“We were in so many meetings about when I would first be photographed again, how long I should stay away from the public for ‘nd I was just like why would anyone sign up for a lifetime of this if they didn’t have to?”

“Harry - “

“I know it’s crazy and we can talk about it more when we see each other again - just wanted you to know that the doubts are happening to me, too. And then I talk to you and it’s exactly as you said.” he says and you can practically hear the smile in his voice. God, you miss him. “‘S never felt like this for me, either.  And it’s nice to know that all the bullshit and fears don’t come close to how I feel about you. Really love you too, you know.”

You can’t explain the noise you make at that, gripping your phone a bit tighter, feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. This was real. All the anxiety fueled doubts couldn’t come close to the reality. He was yours. You were his. 

“I miss you.” you say, the words barely scratching the surface of all you want to say to him.

“Ah, now she says it -”

“Oh my god -”

“Couldn’t be bothered earlier but she hears three little words and suddenly –”

“I’m actually going to kill you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t.” you agree. “Turns out I’m not so keen on doing life without you.”

“Me either,” he says softly. 

You sit there in silence, a small grin on your face, as your fingers scratch the pillow on your lap. 

“Can I ask how things are going over there? Or would you rather wait?”

“No y’ can, it’s –” There’s a loud crashing sound on his end, followed by laughter.  “Shit - hang on.”

“Are you with people right now? You didn’t have to -”

“Wanted to.” he says, not even entertaining your argument for a second. “‘S just Tom and Tyler. Came out a few days ago to write with me. Was writing a bit like mad on my own. Turns out I had quite the inspirational weekend a month ago.”

“I mean you did experience about every emotion on the spectrum.”

“Nah, think it was just being with you.” 

“Oh yeah? Writing songs about me?”

“Mmm, wouldn’t be the first time.” he says, your mouth dropping open in shock. “Got lots of lines written about those eyes of yours…the way you get a little dimple when you’re smiling really hard, the look on your face when you tell me you love me…”

He pauses, inhaling deeply, his voice coming out like gravel when he says the next bit: 

“How you feel wrapped around me.”

Your mouth goes completely dry, hands tightening on the pillow, heart racing. 

“How you look when you’re about to –”

“Gonna cut you off before we get in trouble.” you say shakily. 

“Don’t mind a bit of trouble, me.” 

“Yeah, I’m familiar. But feel like that would absolutely fracture the rules of the pause.”

“Fuck the pause. Throw the pause in the bin –”

“I should let you go back to your friends.”

“I’ll get new friends.”

“Harry!” you say with a laugh, hearing him chuckle on the other end. “I’ll see slash talk to you in like 3 weeks yeah? 

“Okay,” he grumbles. “But y’ can call me any time before then, if you need.”

“Appreciate that. You can too. Going to try to get through these next few weeks on my own, though.” He hums in response. “Aaaand pause resumed.” 

“You’re so stupid.” he says laughing. “Talk to you in three weeks, baby.”

“Didn’t mean to cut you off I just … I’ve dreamt about our reunion sex so much the last place I want to have it is over the phone.” you say, hearing him splutter on the other end. “See you in three weeks love you bye.” 

He practically squawks in protest as you giggle and hang up, feeling ages better than you had before you called him. You’ve never had that before in a relationship. You feel lighter, freer. And loved. 

Your phone buzzes with a text.

H

That was just mean. 

H

Love you. Just 3 weeks xxx

Yeah, you were loved. 

—-

You were absolutely about to jump out of your skin, feeling like a kid on Christmas morning as you woke up hours before your first alarm. You grabbed your phone, immediately reading over the flight details he had sent you a few days earlier with several “xxxxx” in tow. 

Today. He was coming back to you today. Holy shit.

You had taken a far healthier approach this past month, letting the bad feelings happen instead of trying to ignore them with distractions, getting back in touch with your therapist to explore those fears of letting yourself be fully seen, and being Roxy’s ultimate wingwoman, though she did see right through you when you kept encouraging her to see that guy from the bar again tonight. What you were calling being a supportive friend, she was calling a blatant attempt to not get cockblocked. Tomato, tomahto. 

You had been sleeping better, feeling better and were more than ready to see Harry again. It was nerve wracking, heading into this new chapter, knowing there were no planned pauses, no other people entering the chat, it was just going to be you and him. After all this time. Holy. Shit. 

You were cleaning your living room for the umpteenth time, still having a few hours to go before Harry’s plane was supposed to land and there was a knock on your door. Roxy had just left, swearing she would not return, flying out the door with a tight squeeze and kiss on your cheek. 

“Forgot your keys again —?” you say, swinging the door open and absolutely stopping in your tracks. There he was. After two months. Right in front of you. You could cry. You might cry. 

“Thought you were Roxy.”

“‘S it okay that I’m not?”

“Jury’s still out.” you say breathlessly as he snorts. “You’re early.”

“Changed my flight. Couldn’t wait.” he says with a glint in his eye. You quickly scan him, noting the deep tan, the longer strands of curls falling out of his hat, the sweatshirt and joggers combo that makes you want to eat him, the facial hair. Hold on. 

“You’ve got facial hair.” you say, rather stupidly, as he tilts his head back in laughter.

“Yeah I do.”

“Like a proper beard. You’ve never been able to grow facial hair.”

“Times are changing, babe. You gonna let me in anytime soon or keep staring at me?”

“Gonna keep staring for a bit, I think.”

“Get the fuck over here.” he says, practically plowing you over as he wraps his arms tightly around your waist, all but carrying you into the flat as the door closes behind him. You wrap your arms around him, knocking off his hat in the process, and hold on tight. He’s murmuring something into your hair but you’re not paying attention, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his body against yours, his arms holding you close, his new beard scratching against your cheek. 

You stand there, holding so tight, feeling like you’re taking the first real breath you’ve taken in months, a part of you setting into place. You’ve got no idea how long you stand there and don’t care, refusing to let go even for a moment. 

You pull your head back slightly, bringing your hands up to his face, fingers scratching at the beard.

“Not gonna get over this.”

“You like it?”

“Looks good. Really good. You look good.” you say, your hands coming down to rest on his chest, playing with the strings of his hoodie. 

“Yeah?” he says, his eyes scanning down your body. “So do you.”

You lock eyes, staring at each other for a moment, smiles fighting their way onto your faces.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” 

“Missed you.”

“Me too.” he says, nudging his nose against your cheek before planting a kiss there, inhaling deeply. Eyes flicking up to yours before his gaze falls to your lips, he licks his own before leaning in, pressing his lips to yours for the first time in two months.

Yes. 

It’s like coming home, like the first day of spring after a long cold winter, a lemonade on a hot summer day. You practically melt into him, his hands coming up to cup your face as he presses another tender kiss to your mouth. He’s holding you so delicately, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek like you’re made of glass. You’ve never been kissed like this. You grip his sweatshirt, pulling him closer to you, not wanting even a centimeter of space between you. He sighs into your mouth, pressing another sweet kiss against your lips before pulling away, never straying too far as he kisses your jaw, your temple, your hairline before ducking in and placing another soft kiss on your lips.

He pulls back slightly, his arms dropping to wrap around your waist once more, looking down at you with a small smile on his face.

“Missed that.” he says, pressing his lips to yours before dragging them down your jaw, nuzzling into your neck, tightening his grip around you. “Missed you so much, baby.”

“Can’t believe you’re here. In my flat. Kissing me.” you say, as he hums, planting a kiss on your neck before pulling back to look at you, soft eyes grazing over your features as a grin grows on your face. “You’re kissing me in my flat.”

“Planning on doing a whole lot more in this flat if you let me.” he says.

“Yeah, I’m counting on it.” you say, as his grip on your waist tightens. “Just mean like…so much of Italy felt like a fever dream. But you’re here. This is real. It’s… overwhelming.”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“In the best way.” you say, emotion clogging your throat as you look back at him, the way he’s softly staring back at you. You’d feel silly getting this emotional about something so mundane, but it felt monumental. This wasn’t a special occasion, spur of the moment fling. This was who you’d get to see after a long day of work, who you’d go grocery shopping with, spend your weekends with, clean the bathroom with. He was your person. Even in your wildest teenage fantasies you could never imagine it feeling like this. Like home. Tears spring to your eyes, as he gently brings his thumb up to wipe them away, emotion clouding over his own features. 

“I just - I got so excited at the idea of doing laundry with you. Like the mundane, everyday, kissing in my flat stuff. Running errands, doing chores...”

“Just wait until we load the dishwasher together,” he says, kissing your cheek. “Get the groceries…”

“You’re gonna rile me up.” you say as he huffs a laugh against your skin, before pulling back to look at you, his own eyes glassy, lips quirking up in a small smile. 

“I’m so ready for it. All of it. I’ve never…” he says, taking a deep breath, glimmering eyes never straying from your face. “Never been more ready for anything in my life, I don’t think. Life with you, ‘s the dream.” 

You stand there, letting his words wash over you, warmth flowing through you in waves as you bite your lip and try in vain to blink back tears, not sure you could ever find the words to articulate how you feel right now. You open your mouth and promptly close it, not even sure where to begin.

“Got y’ speechless, have I?” he asks with a soft smile.

You shake your head, trying in vain to bite down your smile, before leaning up and kissing him, hoping every drag of your lips can begin to express what words are failing to. He hums into the kiss as you slide your hands into his hair, bringing one arm up to wrap around your upper back, holding you as close as possible. 

He kisses you slowly, gently, the exact way you want to be kissed, his tongue sweeping over yours in smooth passes. You sigh into his mouth as his hold tightens and you’re content to stay there forever, wrapped up in his arms, being taken apart with every soft drag of his lips. 

“For me too.” you frantically mumble in between kisses, hands grasping tighter. “It’s –”

“I know, baby. I know.” he says, his hand coming up to settle around the back of your neck, tightening his grip as he pulls you in. “Come here.” 

Time passes but you’re not aware of it, too caught up in the feel of his body against yours, the grip of his hands, the curl of his tongue. He eventually pulls away with a gentle suck to your bottom lip, kissing a line across your jaw before burying his head into your neck.

You stand there, breathing each other in, holding on to each other, your brain trying to process the fact that the person you always dreamed would be yours is, in fact, yours. And wants you back just as much. It makes you tighten your hold, your breath catching in your throat as his hand starts to rub soothing circles on your back, instinctively knowing what you need without you ever saying it.

“How was your flight?” you mumble against his shoulder. He huffs a laugh against your skin, pressing a kiss on your jaw before pulling back, his hands sliding down your back to hold your waist.

“Was fine. Long. Just wanted to get here.” he says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Left all my stuff in the car. Just needed to see you.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Thought you might,” he says, kissing your temple, his thumbs drawing small circles on your hips. 

“Probably should have our big chat about our feelings, yeah? Talk about our time apart…how we’ve grown as individuals…” you say as he hums against your skin. “You could sing me those songs you wrote about me…”

“Yeah that’s not happening.” he says, snorting out a laugh, grazing his finger against your cheek, his tone softening when he says: “Not yet.”

The look on his face makes your heart flutter, his whispered words combined with that smile of his making you weak at the knees. You could get lost in his eyes if you stand here too long but you have a mission. You were meant to be responsible.

“Talking.” you say and he smirks at you, amused by your absolute lack of eloquence. “We- we should talk.

“Right. Let’s talk, baby. Wanna hear what you’ve been up to.” he says, his eyes roaming over your body.  “Because once I get you in bed, I’m not planning on letting you out of it.”

“Is that a promise?” you ask, your pulse skyrocketing as he licks his lips, eyes darkening as he nods, his grip on your waist tightening, making your brain go a bit hazy before you snap yourself out of it. “Responsible. We’re going to be responsible. I got snacks.”

You take a step away from him and try to turn towards your kitchen and out of his hold, though he doesn’t let you get very far, his arm winding over your shoulder and across your chest to pull you back against him. 

“Harry. Snacks.”

“Wherever you go, I go, baby.” he says as you snort. You can feel his laughter on your neck as he plants a kiss on your jaw, his thumb rubbing along your shoulder before you start to move.

“Fancy a cuppa?” you ask, making your way over to the kitchen counter, doing your best to gather supplies with this oaf attached to your back. 

“Please.”

“I went to that bakery you like and got those rank profiteroles you love.” you say, relaxing back into him. “The woman behind the counter was like ‘oh no one ever orders these, the owners will be so pleased and i was like ‘yeah, well my boyfriend’s obsessed with them -”

You immediately freeze. It’s the first time you’ve ever said it out loud, ever called him that, and by the way he stiffens against your back, barely breathing, you know he knows. 

“Your who?” he whispers against your neck.

“You heard me.” you say quietly, hoping the low volume will hide the waver in your voice. 

“Yeah, but I want to hear y’ say it again.” he says, hooking his chin over your shoulder, squeezing your arm, you can hear the grin in his voice. “Who is obsessed with them?”

“Are you 12?”

“Baby.” he says, planting a kiss behind your ear. “Please. What did y’ call me?”

“My boyfriend.” you say softly. “I called you my boyfriend –”

He spins you in his hold, bringing his hands up to cup your face as he kisses you so thoroughly it makes your head spin. His tongue glides over yours smoothly as his thumb softly strokes your face. A man of multitudes. He pulls back slowly, planting one more chaste kiss to your mouth, his hands not leaving your face. 

“Is that – “ you say, still trying to catch your breath. “Is that okay?”

His brow furrows in disbelief, not letting you move out of his grip. “Just told you a minute ago I wanna do life with you.”

“I know, but this is putting an official label on it. Which feels different. It feels right but it’s, like, official. For real..” 

“Are y’ asking me to go steady with you?”

“Oh my god I don’t know why I even bother –”

“Hey, heeey. None of that.” he says with a laugh, pinning you to the counter with his hips while his lips kiss a pattern across your face before he gently bites at your cheek and pulls away. 

He just looks at you, that soft, just for you smile on his face as he takes a deep breath, looking like he’s about to burst with the love radiating off of him. It’s contagious, making a wide grin spread on your face as you feel like you’re buzzing from the inside out. 

“Let’s make it official, baby. ‘M your boyfriend. And you’re my girlfriend. And we’re…” he says, taking a deep breath, a small blink-and-you’ll-miss-it blush growing across his cheeks. “And we’re in a relationship. ” 

You’re suddenly 15 again trying to slow your galloping heart rate any time Harry hugs you hello, you’re 18 trying not to stare too hard at your best mate’s bare chest as he does a cannonball into the ocean, you’re 22 trying to steady the shake in your hands as you cut his ponytail because he insisted you be the one to chop it, you’re 25 going on 26, in your kitchen, with your best mate who’s now your boyfriend. A fantasy you used to write about in your journal, used to cry yourself to sleep over. 

If you could grin any wider, your face would split in half, heat rushing to your cheeks as you look up at him. The two of you standing there, big smiles on your faces, looking at each other in joy, in awe. It feels a bit juvenile to be getting so worked up over a label but you can’t help it. It’s different with him. Everything’s different with him. 

Your face crumples slightly, overwhelmed by the love flowing through you, the love you’ve always felt for the man looking back at you. 

“I know, I know.” he mutters, pulling you closer. “Long time coming, huh?”

“You could say that,” you whisper back as he wraps his arms around you, planting a kiss on your temple. 

“Thank you for waiting for me to catch up.” he whispers, smiling down at you as butterflies erupt in your stomach, your heart feeling on the cusp of bursting. 

You gently wind your arms around his neck, pushing your hand up into his hair as he closes his eyes briefly at the feeling of your nails against his scalp. He opens his eyes, those green irises focusing right on you, looking at you like you’re the only person on the planet, his expression so sincere it all but bowls you over. 

“Would’ve waited my whole life for you, I think.” 

You can see the words hit him as his eyes go glassy, blinking a few times while looking back at you. He lets out a sheepish laugh when you bring a hand up to gently wipe away the tears pooling in his eyes, biting his lip as he grins at you before planting a kiss on your palm. His index finger brushes down the side of your face gently as he looks at you in awe, in wonder and you feel like you’re on fire.

You’re not sure who closes the gap first but you know it doesn’t matter, clutching each other so tight that you feel his groan before you hear it as you swipe your tongue over his. He kisses you deeply, reverently, his tongue licking into your mouth in languid, all encompassing passes that make you feel like you’re going to explode. He pulls away slowly, kisses trailing down your neck as he takes his time licking and biting at the skin there.

“Do you -” you gasp out, sparks flying through you with each drag of his lips. “Would it be alright if we -”

“Being so polite. You trying ask me to tea or ask me to take y’ to bed?” he mumbles, mouth not straying far from its spot on your neck, laughing against your skin when you smack him. 

“You know,” you say with a huff of frustration, “I’m usually quite good at this but but you’ve got me flustered -”

“Promise y’ you’re still good,” he mumbles, kissing his way across your throat and taking his time on the other side, letting out a deep breath. “So good.”

“I just - I know I said we should talk but I -” you breathe out, the mindless patterns of his hands against your sides making it impossible to finish a sentence. The way he’s dragging his hands  up and down, giving you an occasional squeeze. Those big hands. Jesus. “I want -”

“What do y’ want? Need you to tell me.”

“Want you.” you say as he bites down on your neck, hands squeezing you tight.  

He groans, leaning his head against your collarbone, his palms clutching your hips.

“Do y’ have any idea what y’ do to me -” he grunts out. “Calling me up to say you’re needy, that you’ve dreamt of –”

He cuts himself off as he leans up, his lips claiming yours. This kiss is not like the others, it's deep from the start, as he licks into your mouth with a groan. His hands can’t seem to find a place to settle, roaming from your hips, your sides, your breasts, your arse. His breaths are ragged as he bites your lower lip before diving in for more, nothing gentle or sweet about the way he’s making you moan into his mouth, each drag of his tongue driving you mad. 

“Bedroom,” he says, wrenching his mouth away from yours. “Let’s – bedroom. Unless you want your boyfriend to fuck you on the counter.” 

You choke on air, your nails digging into the muscles on his shoulders.

“Need you horizontal c’mon baby -” he mutters, already pulling you back from the counter as you grab his hand and take off down the hallway towards your bedroom, faltering only slightly when you look back to see him lacing your hands together and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

You both practically trip over yourselves in eagerness once your door is closed, laughing into each other’s mouths. His hands fall to your waist, sliding up your skin as he pulls your shirt up and over your head, mouths disconnecting before crashing together again. He kisses his way down your neck, making quick work of your bra as he kisses across your chest, mouth wrapping around your nipple as his hands slide further down, pausing at the waistband of your jeans. He pulls his head back to look at you, leaning in to kiss you softly. 

“Can I?” he mumbles against your lips, kissing you when you nod, hands slipping on your skin. “Sorry, my palms are sweaty.”

“Mine too,” you whisper as you both laugh sheepishly.

“We’ve done this bit before.”

“Yeah, but it still feels new. It always …everything feels new with you.”

He nods once, marveling at you for a second before pressing his lips to yours, sweet in contrast with the way his hand keeps inching closer to where you need him most. You fist his sweatshirt, pulling at it in frustration. 

“Can we get this off please?” you huff, trying in vain to start to push it up when he simply won’t budge. 

“Patience is a virtue, darling” he says, taking his sweet time unbuttoning your jeans as he kisses along your jaw, heat spreading through every ounce of your body and you want to kill him. 

“Yeah but I’m practically naked while you’re fully dressed.”

“Cause I got my priorities straight,” he says, hands finally sliding past your waistband into your underwear, biting down on your lip when you gasp at his fingers pushing past your folds, feeling the wetness there. “Fuck, baby. Did I get y’ this wet?”

He kisses you before you can respond, licking hotly into your mouth as he pulls his hand away, shushing you when you whine. He uses both hands to pull your jeans and underwear off, helping you balance when you kick them to the ground. 

“On the bed,” he mumbles, “need y’ on the bed.” 

He walks you backwards until your legs hit the mattress and you lie back, pushing yourself up with your arms until you’re in the middle of the bed, propped up on your elbows, eyes never leaving his. 

His eyes roam all over your body, jaw set as his intent gaze sweeps over you, making every inch of you feel like it’s burning up from the inside out. He reaches behind his head to pull his sweatshirt and t-shirt up and over in one fell swoop, throwing them to the ground before clamoring onto the bed as he kneels between your legs, jogger-clad thighs nudging yours further apart. 

You barely have time to take in the expanse of skin before he’s ducking down to kiss you again, getting temporarily lost in the mind-numbing drag of his lips, the soft moans he lets out when you push your hand up into his hair and tug it every so often.

He pulls away slowly, eyes sweeping up and down your body as he puffs out a big breath and shakes his head. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, pressing one more kiss to your lips before slowly making his way down your body, his tongue against your skin mixed with the deep timbre of his voice making you grip the bed sheets tighter, your breath coming in shorter bursts, hand falling away from his head as he makes his way down to your core. 

“So sexy,” he mumbles, tongue sweeping along your stomach before he pauses to suck a mark into the skin. “All mine.”

A soft moan leaves your lips, his words and mouth against your skin proving to be a deadly combination, as arousal pools between your thighs. You shift on the sheets, deep desire flowing into restless anticipation.

“I know, baby, I know.” he says, kissing a line along your thigh, inching ever so close. “Gonna give y’ what y’ need.”

Your brain barely has time to catch up before his mouth is on you, humming as he licks a stripe up your slit, the sensation making you gasp. His hands slide up your legs to hold your hips down as he sucks your clit into his mouth, your eyes roll into the back of your head as heat sears through you. 

He’s good at this and he knows it, eyes never wavering from your face as he watches the way you react to his tongue, moaning into you when your hand slides into his hair. You look down at him and almost come on the spot, the way his back muscles strain as he expertly moves his head, the image of him headfirst into you with his joggers still on doing something to you that you could never explain. Like he was so eager to get his mouth on you he didn’t stop to pull his sweats off. Fuck. 

“Dreamt of this.” he mumbles, kissing a line up your stomach, your arousal already evident in that new 'stache of his. “Dreamt of you.”

“H-” you can’t do anything beyond moaning his name at this point, already gone past the point of coherence, using your hand in his hair to guide his head back down.

“Alright, needy girl, ‘m going” he says, kissing his way back down before biting down on the skin of your thigh, groaning out: “love you like this.”

He dives in tongue first, licking his way down to your entrance before dragging his tongue up to your clit, sucking it into his mouth in steady pulls. He’s getting sloppy with it, the feeling of his beard against your skin making you pull at his hair, while he kisses, licks and sucks. You’re so wet you can hear it, it would embarrass you if not for the way he clearly loves it, his eyes closed tight with his brow furrowed in concentration, nose nudging against your center as his tongue curls over you, grunting and groaning into you in a way that has you seeing stars. 

“Want you to come like this. Want it in my mouth.” he mumbles, hooded eyes opening to look at you, take you in. “Can y’ do that for me?”

“Fuck - please I -” you’re cut off by your own moan, as he gets his mouth back on you. His hands on your hips no longer hold you down but encourage you to buck up into him. It’s overwhelming, heat searing through you and you can’t keep your eyes open, feeling yourself hurdle towards your orgasm with every slurp, lick, and suck. His grip tightens, nails making crescent marks into your skin as he latches onto your clit once more and sucks, hard. 

And that’s it, your eyes roll back in your head as you come, so intense that you can’t hear the praise he’s mumbling, can feel nothing but endless heat, pleasure rolling through you, hand gripping his hair so tight as his mouth works you through your orgasm, only pulling away when you whimper from the overstimulation.

He plants one kiss against your core before kissing his way up your body, self-satisfied smirk on his face when his head hovers over yours, evidence of how hard you just came present in his beard. You look up at him, panting, sentences still jumbling in your brain as he settles next to you, laying a possessive hand on your stomach, thumb drawing mindless patterns on your skin. 

“That good, huh?”

“Like you didn’t know.” you breathe out,  thumb coming up to wipe his bottom lip, heat swirling through you when he grabs your wrist and sucks your thumb into his mouth, never once breaking eye contact.

“Christ.” 

He hums, releasing your thumb with a pop before leaning in to kiss you, both of you moaning when your tongue swipes over his. Your hand drags down his chest, damp with sweat from the exertion of his efforts, and falls to the waistband of his joggers.

“I can’t believe you still have these on.” you say snapping the waistband against his abs as he moves to pull them off.

“Had you naked on your bed, time was of the essence,” he says, as you snort, watching as he successfully pulls his joggers and briefs all the way off and throws them on the ground, his hard cock slapping against his belly. Did he get that hard just from getting you off?

“Took your shirt off, though.” you say, voice wavering at how affected you are at the sight in front of you. This gorgeous man in all his naked glory. 

“Yeah, well, I know how you feel about my arms. Wanted to give you a proper show.” he says with a shrug, hand sliding up your neck to grip at the nape, pulling you in for a deep kiss. 

Your hand slides further down his abs, wrapping around him as he moans into your mouth. You pull away from him slowly, making full eye contact as you lick your palm, his eyes widening at the sight, before wrapping around him again. He moans, his grip on you tightening as he bites at your jaw. 

“Got this hard from eating me out?”

“Y’ have no idea what you look like.” he says, pulling back to look at you, eyes roaming all over your face. “What you taste like.”

He captures your lips once more, breaths more ragged than before the more you play with him, your thumb swiping over the head as he bites your lip.

“Gotta stop -” he pants out. “Unless you don’t want -”

“No, I do.” you say, letting go of his cock in favor of straddling him. He sits up, trying to get close to your mouth but you shake your head and push him back down. He goes easily, eyes flickering all over your body, unable to settle on just one spot before looking back into your eyes, his own pupils blown wide. 

“What’ve y’ got planned, love?”

“Wanna ride you.” you say, your hands staying planted on his chest. 

“Fuck - yes please.” he groans, hands coming to rest on your thighs. “You have stuff?”

You falter. You do, you know exactly where it is but that’s not what you want tonight. You curse yourself, knowing you should’ve brought this up earlier, and not when you’re straddling him on your bed. The hesitation must be written on your face because he sits up quickly -  damn those ab muscles - his hand coming up to cup your face, thumb rubbing on your cheek. 

“What’s up? Do you not have any? Need me to pop to the -”

You shake your head. “Uh - no. I have stuff. I just - sorry I should have brought this up before -”

“‘S okay.” he says gently, patiently, as if you both can’t feel how hard he is against your thighs. 

“I just - I got tested and I’m clean,” you say, his eyebrows shooting up before he schools his expression into something more neutral, though the sudden clamminess of his palm against your face gives him away. “And I’m on the pill. I have condoms and totally understand if that makes you more comfortable but I want this, with you. I want to feel –”

“Me too.” he says gruffly, a mix of emotions passing over his face as he stares back at you, so intently it makes your head spin. “I got tested a few weeks ago and I’m also clean - if you want that -”

“I do.”

He crushes his lips against yours, kissing you deeply as you clutch at his shoulders, giving it back just as good. His tongue passes over yours as he tightens his hold on your face, his other arm coming to wrap around your waist. You lose track of how long you stay there, kissing each other until your lips go numb, but he pulls back slowly, emotion clouding over his eyes as he looks at you, taking a few moments just to stare before he clears his throat.

“I know my reputation precedes me with this sort of thing-” 

“That doesn’t matter to me.” you say, the look on his face making your heart clench. “At all.”

“I know I just - I want you to know that I don’t take this lightly. You trusting me like this. Me trusting you the same.” he says, with a shake of his head, looking at you with glassy eyes. “It’s - I haven’t done this very often and to get to do it with you is…”

“Yeah. For me, too.” you whisper, emotion caught in your throat, as the two of you just look at each other, biting down smiles.

You lean in to kiss him slowly, hands sliding up into his hair as he sighs into your mouth.

“I love you.” you say softly, the words almost getting caught in your throat as you look at him, hold him tight. 

“Oh, angel.” he breathes out. “I love you too.”

You lean in at the same time, soft kisses slowly devolving into pure heat, tongues curling as you moan into each other’s mouths. 

“Wanna make you feel good.” you mumble against his mouth.

“Yeah?” he says, kissing you once before kissing a line down your jaw. “Gonna take care of me?”

You nod, leaning in to slowly kiss at his neck as his hand slides down your body and rests on your thigh, squeezing once. You reach down to stroke him slowly as he groans, your tongue darting out to suck at the skin, leaving a mark in its wake. 

You bring a hand down to balance on his shoulder as you line him up with your center, and slowly start to sink down, both of you moaning almost instantly at the sensation.

“Slow - baby, slow” he grits out, hands sliding up to your hips to hold on, to ease you down. Once you're fully seated, his hands come up to rub your back, his jaw set as he exhales through his nose, his eyes fluttering closed as he tries to maintain eye contact. “Shit.”

“Okay?” you whisper, not doing much better yourself, being able to feel all of him like this makes your mouth hang open, sparks of arousal shooting up your spine. 

“Yeah,” he mutters, huffing out a laugh. “Feel so good.”

He brings one hand around to massage at your breast as the other slides down to knead your ass as he leans in to kiss you deeply, both groaning when your tongues meet. You slowly lift up and back down, a sharp grunt leaving his chest as you start to find your rhythm, his hands gripping tightly at your hips. You find your pace slowly, the look on his face guiding every twist, turn and bounce of your hips. 

He’s usually talkative during sex, a never ending stream of praise falling from his lips but you seem to have stunned him into silence as he sits there, grasping you tightly, mouth never moving far from yours. For a while, the only noise in the room is the sound of skin slapping against skin, your moans, grunts and groans mixing together as you find a delicious rhythm that has left you both speechless, panting against each other's mouths.

You lose all sense of time, getting lost in the look on his face, the way he swallows harshly, his breath coming out shallow when you swivel your hips just so. It’s sweltering, it’s heady, overwhelming. The two of you losing yourselves to the pleasure as you ride him into the mattress, his hooded eyes watching your every move.

“‘S like a dream.” he mumbles against your lips. “Jesus.”

He kisses at your neck, the sensation making you clench around him, as he groans and bites down. Your hand slips on his sweaty chest, overwhelmed at the sight of him, jaw set, teeth gritted, eyes wild. He looks wrecked in a way you’ve never seen him, eyes squeezing shut and a deep exhale leaving his lips at a particularly tight swivel of your hips. Knowing you did that, that you’re making him feel this way, causes a fire in your belly unlike you’ve ever experienced before. You place your hand on his cheek and he opens his eyes to look at you, the look of pure ecstasy making you moan his name as you lean in to kiss him, gasping into his mouth when his grip on your hips tightens and he plants his feet, starting to thrust up into you.

Your rhythm falters, having lost any sense of control as he takes over, each drive of his hips hitting you just right. His face now steeled in determination, brow furrowed as he expertly guides his hips into yours, the bliss from before replaced by desperate need.

“Fucking me so good, baby.” he mumbles. “Couldn’t do anything but sit here and take it - y’ feel so -.”

“H-”

“Does it feel good?” he grunts, “Fucking yourself on my cock?”

“‘M close I -” you gasp out, nails digging into his scalp at a particularly hard thrust.

“Need to feel you come around me.” he mumbles, kissing along your collarbone. “What’s gonna get y’ there?”

“Want you on top.” you say, your legs all but turned to jelly as you try to keep up with his relenting pace. 

“Give y’ anything.” he groans, “Anything y’ need. Hold on.”

He slows down his hips, holding you in place on top of him as you wrap your arms around his neck. He slides his arms up your back, warm palm sliding up to grip the back of your neck as he holds you tightly to him, leaning forward to lay you back on the mattress, never once disconnecting himself from you. He hovers over you, both groaning at the new angle. He slides his other hand down your body, grabbing the outer edge of your thigh to wrap around his hip as you bring your other leg up to do the same. 

He leans in to kiss you deeply, grip tightening on the back of your neck as he starts to slowly grind his hips. You gasp into his mouth as you drag your nails down his back, his grinds turning into slow, deep thrusts that have both of you moaning.

“Y’ so wet,” he groans out. “Can feel all of it. All for me. Christ -”

His pace picks up, thrusting so hard you can hear the bed frame against the wall at the other end. Your hand falls to the bed, grasping at the bedsheets as he keeps driving his hips into yours, mumbling incoherently against your cheek, the feeling of his abs sliding against your skin sending sparks through you. You can see how hard he’s working, arms and thighs bulging as he works to give it to you as good as he can. 

He squeezes your neck once, before sliding his hand over to where yours is gripping the sheets, lacing your fingers together and holding tight and you just about lose your mind. 

“Y’ close? Squeezing me like y’ close.” 

“Harry -”

“Love when you say my name like that.” he mumbles and you do it again just to see the look on his face. You slide your hand not holding his down your body to flick at your clit, watching his eyes go impossibly darker as you clench down on him.

“That’s it. Be my good girl and go after it.” he grunts, thrusting even harder than before. “Want y’ to soak me.”

It only takes a few more tight circles from your fingers and one perfectly timed thrust and then you’re coming, stars in your eyes as you shake with aftershocks, clenching down so hard his rhythm falters, a series of expletives falling from his lips. 

“So good. That’s it. Y’ gonna make me come - fuck”

“Please - want you to.” you say, trying in vain to catch your breath as you clench down on him once more, overstimulation be damned. “Come inside me.”

“Jesus - fuck”  he grunts out, brows furrowed, eyes focused on you, hips driving into yours once, twice, and then that’s it, a guttural groan punches out of him as strings of his come paint your walls, the sensation making you squeeze his hand tightly as he shakes through it, a look of utter bliss on his face. 

He buries his head into your neck, panting heavily. You slowly lower your legs down to the mattress, sliding your hand out from in between your bodies and threading it through his sweaty hair, scratching at his scalp as your heart rates start to slow down and sync up.

You lay there for a few moments, just breathing each other in. He grunts wordlessly into your neck, the sound making you laugh, feeling of your bodies shaking against each other setting the two of you off. 

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, kissing your neck as he squeezes your hand once before pulling away, planting his hands on the bed to pull out, murmuring apologies into your skin when you hiss at the feeling before plopping on the bed next to you. 

You turn your head to face him as he props himself up on his elbow, an indescribable glow on his features as he smiles softly at you, his arm splaying across you to wrap around your waist. 

“It’s a good look on you.”

“What?” 

“Satisfaction.” you say with a grin. He honks out a laugh, pulling you closer to him to kiss your face. 

“Ah, a bit cheeky after riding my brains out, are ya?” he asks, kissing a line down your neck. “After fucking me bare?”

“That’s me. Cheeky and full of your cum.” you say, giggling when he tightens his grip on your waist, his breath leaving him in one big exhale. 

“Can’t say shit like that, baby.” he mutters against your neck, tongue darting out to lick at the skin. “Gonna turn me into a bloody neanderthal. C’mere.”

He slides his hand up your body to grip at your jaw, pulling you towards him as he captures your lips with his, letting out a soft moan into your mouth when your tongue passes over his. 

“You’re unreal.” he murmurs against your mouth. “So good to me.”

He kisses you again, somehow deeper this time as you sigh into his mouth, his hand gripping you tighter as you slide your hand across his chest. He pulls away slowly, kissing your cheek and temple before leaning back to look at you, soft smile on his face as he brushes a strand of hair away from your face. 

“And it was good for you, yeah?”

“Think you could feel that it was.”

“I could, yeah. Came pretty hard, didn’t you?” he says with a smirk. “Soaked me.”

“What was that you were saying earlier? About being a neanderthal?”

“Ah, so she can dish it out but can’t take it.” 

“I can take it!” you scoff in indignation.

“Yeah, you can.” he all but growls, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“Oh my god -” you say, trying in vain to suppress the giggles escaping you as he laughs along with you, wrapping his arm around your waist again, nuzzling into your neck as you try to catch your breath before you both crack up again, laughing at nothing and everything, at this feeling of lightness, of love, effervescent joy. 

Your laughter slowly subsides, just the occasional giggle coming out as you smile at each other. He kisses your cheek, your jaw and presses one soft, sweet kiss to your lips before pulling back. You shift your hips a bit, the reality of the no condom situation leaking out of you and you grimace slightly as his eyes track the moment.

“Not exactly comfortable, is it?”

“Can’t say it is, no. Loved it when it happened but now - ”

“Yeah. Hang on a sec.” he smacks a kiss to your forehead before pushing himself up and off the bed and jogging out of the room, you try in vain to tilt your head back to follow his movement but can only go so far. You hear the sounds of the sink turning on and promptly shutting off, his shuffle footsteps re-entering the room as he hops back on the bed next to you, wet washcloth in hand. 

“May I?” he asks, holding up the washcloth.

“Not exactly sexy, is it?”

“Yeah, but I put it there.” he says with a shrug as he crawls between your thighs. “Least I can do is help clean it out.”

“Thank you.” you whisper, affection flowing through you as you prop yourself up on your elbows, planting your feet on the mattress. He presses a kiss to your knee as he starts to clean you up. There's a lot to be said about praising men for doing the bare minimum, how women should have higher standards but this isn’t common practice, something you’ve usually had to do on your own, grabbing a spare t-shirt or something for a quick fix. And this, letting him take care of you like this, makes you feel open and trusting in a way you’re not sure you’ve ever felt. You’re not sure you’ve ever been this cared for, a thought that makes tears spring to your eyes. 

You quickly blink them away though when he looks up at you, you know he sees them, a gentle shake of his head as if to say “it’s nothing”, as if to say “you’re welcome”, as if to say “i’ll always take care of you”. He throws the washcloth into the laundry bin and crawls back up your body to plank over you, leaning down to give you a sweet kiss. You bring your hand up into his hair, kissing him back before pulling away and nudging your nose against his.

“Do you want to shower with me?” you ask.

“Yes please.”

You head to the washroom hand in hand, exchanging lazy kisses in front of the shower as you wait for it to heat up before squeezing in and attempting to be productive. You manage to completely wash your body and get most of your hair when he pulls you against him with a hand on your hip, planting deadly kisses along your neck as his hands roam your body, squeezing your breasts, drawing circles on your belly before sliding down in between your thighs. 

He waits until you’re ready and takes you right there, one hand splaying out across your stomach with the other is pressed against yours on the shower wall, his mouth pressed to your shoulder, hips driving into yours over and over with in a way that has you moaning out so loud you’re sure your neighbors can hear but you don’t care. Content to just lean back and lean into the pleasure until you’re both shaking with orgasms faster than you expected. 

After snogging under the spray long after the hot water has run out, you get dried off and changed, throwing him an old pair of sweats and hoodie of his that you’ve kept all these years as you pass your phone back and forth to order from the local thai place you both love.

Once the food arrives you set up camp on the couch, laughing and reminiscing, though tactfully avoiding any discussion of the past two months, as you share plates, both eating more of what the other ordered than you’d ever admit. Once you’ve had your fill, the empty boxes stacked on the coffee table, you settle back on the couch, he grabs your feet and pulls them into his lap, resting a warm palm on your ankles as you lean back against the pillows.

“I really like this,” he says softly, a light squeeze on your ankle when you smile over at him. “Just like… everything about this day.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Nothing we’re running away from, nothing looming over our heads.” he says as you hum in agreement. “‘S all I could think about getting to these last few weeks and ‘s better than I imagined.”

“I know. Felt like it wasn’t gonna happen some days.”

“Yeah.” he says, looking down in his lap, small frown on his face. “Did it - y’never called me so I assumed but - how were the last few weeks for you? Better or just as shit as the first?”

“Better. Talking to you really helped and then I decided to, you know, actually feel my feelings instead of ignoring them? A novel concept.” you say, as he huffs out a laugh, attentive eyes on you. “Also started talking to my therapist again about, like all the guilt and weirdness from the wedding and my hesitation to be completely open and vulnerable with you, which is a bit of a work in progress.”

“Meant what I said on the phone, you know.” he says, hand sliding up to your calf, thumb moving soothing circles. “When I say I love you, I mean all of you. Nothing’s gonna scare me off or make me feel differently about you.” 

You just look at him for a moment, his eyes full of warm, open affection staring back at you as you nod, biting your lip at the onset of emotions running through you. He squeezes your calf gently.

“Did your boss ever apologize?” he asks, frowning when you shake your head. “Wanker.”

You snort. “It’s alright. She’ll be groveling once the grant comes through. It’s not confirmed but have heard whispers that it’s likely going to us.”

“That’s my girl. Proud of you.”

“Thanks, H.” you say with a soft smile. “What about you? How has it been? Not gonna let you do that thing where you ask me loads of questions and be such a good listener that we never talk about you.”

“Ah, she knows my tricks.”

“Ah, yes she does.” you say as he laughs, looking down at his lap with a smile, thumb rubbing circles on your leg as he takes his time to find the words. 

“It was…a lot. There was loads of bullshit in the first few weeks, meetings where I felt like I was back in the band again, all this talk about my image and how to best preserve it, not a lot about how I was doing or feeling.”

“That’s fucked.”

“Yeah. Didn’t feel good. It got better…once I drew my lines in the sand, established what was necessary for me to know and what wasn’t. Like if Erin’s team goes rogue and tries to talk about you or if anyone who was working the wedding comes forward - they can’t and they won’t.” he says quickly. “They signed some pretty ironclad NDAs.”

“Oh.” you say, not sure how to process that. 

“Yeah. Now y’ know why I almost called you 8 times.” he says, pausing as a deep frown falls over his face. “I know I - last time we saw each other, I was angry and scared and snapped but…there was some truth to what I said. This bullshit never goes away with me. Not entirely. We can get good at tuning it out, but it’s always gonna be there. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask you to subject yourself -”

“Harry-”

“Just let me say this bit.” he says gently, cutting you off. “I know being with me has a price, however big or small you may think it is, it’s there. ‘nd I know you’ve experienced it as my friend but it’s…much different for who I’m dating, no matter how private we are. And I just want you to know that if it ever gets to be too much, I understand. I won’t hold it against you.” 

“This is a legitimate fear of yours? That I’ll leave if the attention gets to be too much?”

“I know you don’t pay attention to any of it - it’s one of the things that makes me feel so lucky with all of this, that you really couldn’t give a shit about that. That you just love me for me. But… it can seep into every aspect of your life and force you to make sacrifices you never planned on making.”

“And I think a part of me is scared that ‘m not worth all that.” he says. “That I won’t be good enough to you or for you to make up for how difficult I may make parts of your life. You deserve privacy and normalcy in a way I can’t provide. At least not all of the time. And I just need you to know that you always have an out.”

You stare at him for a moment, the determined, slightly defeated look in his eyes before you sit up, pulling your legs off his lap and crossing them in front of you on the couch, knees bumping against his thigh. You take his hand, holding it between both of yours.

“And I just need you to know that I’m never going to use it.” you say, rushing to keep talking when he opens his mouth. “I know I don’t know the full extent of what your world can feel like, being involved in it in this new way, but I can say for sure it’s never going to make me want to give you up. Or like, run away when the scrutiny gets too intense. This isn’t conditional, for me. I’d do a lot worse and sacrifice a lot more to get to have you like this. We’re in this together. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to want to.”

He stares at you, blinking rapidly as he takes a deep breath, squeezing your hand.

“Thank you.” he says softly, brow furrowing as his lip twitches, trying to hold his emotions in. “I don’t take that lightly, you know. And you can change your mind at any -”

“I’m not going to. Not about that. Not about you. I don’t want you constantly worrying that if something goes wrong with your public life, I’m gonna go. I won’t. That’s not going to happen. Those are easy sacrifices to make.”

He closes the distance between you before you even realize what’s happening, kissing you deeply as his hand cups your jaw. He gently pulls his other hand from yours, bringing it up to frame your face, thumbs brushing over your cheek when you sigh into his mouth. 

“Thank you.” he mumbles in between kisses. “Don’t know what I did to deserve…”

He shakes his head, eyes darting over your face before pressing his lips to yours once more, humming into the kiss. You just sit there and let yourself be kissed, head reeling from how good this all feels, how right, when he pulls back suddenly. 

“I don’t want it to be just you giving things up or changing things for me.” he says sincerely, eyes not wavering from yours. “Like y’ said, we’re in this together. I want to make sacrifices for you, too. I want to be meeting you in the middle.”

“That’s really good to hear.” you say solemnly, taking a deep breath. “Because the paps surrounding the nonprofit world can be vultures.” 

“Alright,” he says, rolling his eyes as he pinches your cheek before you swat his hand away. “Little jokester are ya?”

“It’s just so refreshing to finally be with someone willing to make those life changes for me.” you say, placing your hand on his shoulder.

Your sincere facade lasts all of two seconds, shrieking as his hands fall to your sides, trying to jab the most ticklish spots he’s learned over the years. 

“The intense scrutiny that comes from being - ah! - with someone who sits at a desk for 8 hours writing proposals—”

“Are y' done?”

“I’ve got about 5 more minutes of material –” 

He honks out a laugh, pulling you across his lap with minimal struggle from you lying you flat on your back on the other end of the couch as he plants his hands on either side of your head.

“Here I am, baring my soul… telling y’ my deepest fears,” he says one hand coming to tickle at your side as you try to dodge him. “And you’re just taking the piss -”

“Oh my god -”

“I’m afraid I’ll never be able to be vulnerable again…” 

“Gonna nominate you for a BAFTA for this performance.”

“I’d like to thank the academy –”

“Alright, pal,” you laugh as you grab his wrist and pull, effectively knocking him off balance and he collapses onto you with a big “oof”, both of you giggling as you try to catch your breath.

“I can’t believe you tickled me.” you say, as he laughs against your neck. 

“Ah, but in a battle of wits against you, darling, I’m guaranteed to lose. I needed backup.” he says, pressing a kiss to your jaw. “All hands on deck.”

You sputter out a laugh at that, warmth rushing through you as you look over at him, the wide grin on his face, the crinkles around his eyes as he laughs with you. It wasn’t even that funny, it was just so stupid, so him, said with such sincerity it makes your heart race. You can’t stop replaying his line delivery as another wave of laughter rolls through you. 

“You are such an idiot.” you laugh, shaking your head at him.

“Yeah, might be.” he says with a shrug, eyes twinkling as he looks at you. “But I think I’d say just about anything to make y’ laugh like that.” 

You can’t stop the smile that grows on your face, his words rendering you speechless, warmth blooming on your cheeks as the laughter all but dies in your throat when you take in the way he’s looking back at you. 

“‘S my favorite sound.” he says, so softly it’s almost to himself as he leans in, eyes locked on your mouth before they drift up, smiling when you lock eyes. You lean up to close the distance between you, running your fingers through his hair as he hums into the kiss, his hand slowly sliding up and down your arm as your lips slide against each other. It’s soft, warm, reverential, this kiss. 

You pull back slowly as his hand comes up to cup your jaw, pulling you back to him, mumbling “‘m not done yet” against your mouth.

He kisses you slowly, his hand a steady presence against your jaw as his lips drag against yours, smiling against your lips with you let out a little sigh, tilting his head to get the angle right. You’re practically melting against the couch, every kiss feeling better than the last.

He pulls away, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling back to look at you, warm eyes slowly passing over your features. 

“That got ya to stop teasing me, didn’t it?” he says, leaning back in to plant kisses along your cheek. 

“Mm, much more effective than tickling.”

“Mutually beneficial as well.” he says, laughing when you do before pulling back to grin at you. 

You shake your head at him, a mumbled “idiot” leaving your lips though your smile detracts any potential sting of your words. 

“Yours.” he murmurs, kissing you softly. 

He presses a kiss to your cheek before scootching down the couch a little, getting comfortable as he lays his head on your chest, arms wrapping around you as his legs intertwine with yours. Your hand comes up to play with his hair, scratching at his scalp as he hums.

“This couch is kinda small for those long legs of yours.”

“Nah, I like it.” he says, wiggling his hips for emphasis, making you snort. “‘S cozy. ”

“It’s nice, innit?” you say, as he hums, hand squeezing your waist. 

You lay there for a bit, playing with his hair in comfortable silence. It’s so nice, being with him like this, two of you able to just enjoy each other's company, having each other close after all this time. You don’t want to disturb the peace, but curiosity is gnawing at you.  

“Could you tell me more about what you’ve been up to?” you ask softly. “Gonna depress me if I keep thinking about you being stuck in those bloody meetings. Did it ever ease up or am I going to have to beat someone up?”

“Defending my honor, are ya?”

“Always.” 

“My girl.” he says with a grin, before taking a deep breath, squinting off into space as he thinks through his next words. “It definitely got better… especially when Jeff and Sadie took over that side of things, knowing to only contact me if things got bad, which they didn’t. Let me deal with the aftermath of the wedding and breakup like a human ‘nd not a machine.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, was nice to finally realize that I - I can’t be everything to everyone all the time. To, like release that standard I always held myself to felt really good.” he says, the look on his face making your heart clench. “Was able to really think about what I want and who I want to be for the first time in ages.” 

“That's what you deserve, you know.” you say softly. “A life lived for you and not for anyone else. It’s what you’ve always deserved.” 

You can see the emotion pass over his face as he clears his throat, propping himself up on an elbow and leaning back against the couch cushions to get a good look at your face. He takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. 

“Thanks, baby.” he says, taking a deep breath as he runs his thumb over your knuckles. “Was good to finally have the time to realize that. To start to figure out how to do that… I didn’t have to work at all - I had taken that time off for the wedding and um, honeymoon and haven’t had that much time off in about a decade -  to just like be with myself for any amount of time longer than a couple of hours was a bit of a mindfuck. Lasted about a week before I called Tom up.” he says with a sheepish laugh, leaning into your hand when you run it through his hair. 

“Some things never change.” you say as he hums in agreement, before his brow furrows as he thinks through what he’s going to say next. 

“I just - I spent my time working on myself in a way I’ve never had time to do before. Working on being a better friend, going to therapy to really unpack everything I’ve been through. Was definitely scary and challenging in a way I hadn’t expected, to face the truth of everything and really reflect on the past year I had, all the things I’d been running from. Got more in touch with myself than I have in years and it…” he pauses, looking up at you, eyes flitting over your features as he inhales deeply through his nose. 

“It made me so grateful for the present moment and for the people I have in my life, my relationships with my family ‘nd friends ‘nd…you. Especially you. I really needed that time to get closure on a lot of things. Still a work in progress, like y’ said, but it was a good start. Made it easier to deal with the logistics stuff - like moving out of the place Erin and I had in Kensington.”

“Oh shit. How was that?”

“Was… okay.” he says.  “Erin really wants nothing to do with me right now, which I understand, so it was mostly handled by our assistants, as mad as that sounds. So Joanna really did most of the work and I was able to stay out of it. Was weird but… it never felt like home, that place. None of that really did. Or it did for the beginning but stopped feeling like it far earlier than I was willing to admit.”

“So you haven’t talked with Erin at all?”

“No, not directly, just through our teams and stuff.” he says. “I would’ve loved to have a chat about everything but when she tried to go after you that changed things for me. But… I also know that what I did really hurt her and she doesn’t owe me her forgiveness or anything. I think how we’ve been doing things - just through our teams - is the best way for now.”

“Right. That makes sense”

“How’s all that been for you?” he asks. “I know it was rough for both of us to come to terms with, starting this relationship like that.”

“Yeah it … I don’t know, it’s definitely easier than it was. Think the amount of time that’s passed since that weekend really helped,” you say. “Like the nagging guilt that was there for that first month has mostly faded. Think I’ve gotten better at coming to terms with the fact that what’s done is done and I can’t change the past or rewrite our history. And now it doesn’t feel like a shadow over this, or something holding us back. It feels more like we can just be us. Which just feels… so good and right and ….”

You cut yourself off, nose scrunching as you try to hold your emotions in, his hand squeezing yours in encouragement. 

“Feels like everything I’ve ever wanted.” you say softly, voice cracking with emotion as a wide smile grows across your face. He just looks at you, his own eyes filled with emotion as they graze over your features carefully, reverently. 

“‘M coming over there.”

“Over where?! You are already on top of me -” 

“Not all the way give me a mo -” he says, sliding over you until his head is right above yours, bringing one hand up to cup your face, open emotion on his face. 

“I… I feel so ready to be in this with you ‘nd ‘m so grateful you chose me. Don’t really know what I did to deserve any of it but I … thank you for giving me that time and space and sticking with me through this.”

“H, I was never gonna go anywhere.”

“No, I know I just… Being with you feels different than anything I’ve never experienced before ‘nd I am just…” he cuts himself off, taking a shaky breath before shaking his head, leaning in to kiss you. 

“Bloody in love with you.” he says against your mouth, diving in to capture your lips once more before you can even respond. His thumb brushes along your cheek as he drags his lips against your, kissing you reverently while holding you tight against him. 

He pulls back slowly, his lips kissing a line up your face before resting his forehead against yours and closing his eyes, lightly panting against your mouth.

“Love you, too.” you whisper, the words hardly capturing how this moment feels or how you feel about him. The love flowing through you stronger than you’ve ever felt it before. Heartbeats syncing up as you hold each other close. Finally.

“Alright, your turn.” he says after a while, settling back down with his head on your chest. 

“My turn? H, I already –”

“C’mon love I just talked for ages, ‘m sure you still got some stories for me.”

“Pressure is on, okay…oh !” you say, smiling at the eager look on his face as you start to tell him about a particularly wild night out you had with your mates a few weeks back, that almost ended with Jenna getting a few stitches at the A&E, living for how along for the ride he is, reacting at all the right spots. He’s always been your favorite person to tell stories to; no one listens with quite the same intensity as he does, no pay off feels better than shocking a laugh out of him.

You swap stories from there, him telling you the hijinks that him, Tom and Tyler got up to, his long phone calls he had with his mum, you tell him how you parents cried even when you gave them the bare minimum about what was going on with you two, how Roxy tackled you to the ground when she found out, how Archie threatened him. He starts to launch into a story about a very stoned writing session him and Tyler had and you’re listening, you swear you are…it’s just you hadn’t really slept very well last night and his voice is so soothing, his body so warm, you can feel the vibrations of his voice and you try to stay awake, you do, but you can feel your eye drift shut…  

“Falling asleep on me?” he asks, hand brushing through your hair as you quickly blink your eyes open. 

“No, no I’m not -”

“Baby -”

“‘S just … you’re so warm and your voice is so nice.” your words were slurring a bit but you were too tired to fix it. “Just didn’t sleep a lot last night. Was too excited.”

“To see me?”

“Felt like Christmas.” you mumble, your exhaustion erasing any possible brain to mouth filter. 

“Oh angel,” he says, kissing your forehead as his hands draw up and down your arms. “Want to go to bed?”

“Noo, want to stay right here. Keep talking, I’m listening..”

“Okay,” he says with a chuckle, “Hang on, then.”

He wraps one arm around you and plants the other on the couch, gently flipping the two of you over so you’re laying on his chest as he lays against the pillows. You sigh sleepily, nuzzling your head into his chest. He’s got one arm behind his head and the other brushing up and down your back. “‘S better, isn’t it?”

“Mmmf” you mumble, words failing you at this point, your attempt at being awake slipping through your fingers. 

He kisses your forehead, picking up right where he left off in the story. You think. You could feel yourself start to nod off again, trying to shake yourself out of it but everything felt so comfortable, so right…

When you open your eyes, it’s morning. And you’re in bed. How did you…?

You slowly shift, trying to get more oriented to the day as you squint into the early light, looking over to see him sound asleep, stretched out next to you and - oh. 

Hazy memories of last night fill your head, of him softly telling you to go back to sleep as he carried you - he carried you?! - from the couch to the bed, strong arms looped under your knees and back, holding you tight against his chest as his lips brushed against your hairline. Memories of him whispering “I love you” as he slid next to you in bed, memories of you grunting back at him, his soft laughter against your neck as he pulled you closer.

It makes you flush, warmth flowing through every fiber of your being. You quietly slip out from under the covers, careful not to wake him as you slip out of your room and into the washroom to quickly brush your teeth, heart fluttering as the memories from last night swirl around in your head. You head back to your room and lean against the doorframe for a moment, just watching him. The man you love, the boy you’ve always loved, asleep in your bed. Your boyfriend. Heat rushes to your cheeks as you bite down on the wide smile growing across your face. God, you love him. You really, really love him. 

You pad over to the bed, quickly and quietly pulling off your joggers and tossing them on the floor. You slide a knee up and over the bed until you’re straddling him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

“Good morning,” you whisper and he snuffles sleepily, one arm instinctively coming up to wrap around your waist as he grunts. You stretch out so you’re laying on top of him, kissing a line up his neck, his arm sliding up to hold you close as he turns his head into the pillow, eyes still closed. 

“H.” you whisper and he grunts and you laugh against his skin, kissing along his jaw. “Did you carry me to bed last night?”

He peeks one eye open at you, a faint blush blooming on his cheeks that makes your heart skip a beat, his hand coming up to rub his eyes as he shrugs. 

“Yeah. You were dead to the world, love.”

“So you carried me?”

“Should’ve left you out there if I knew you were gonna tease me about it –”

“No no no” you say quickly, grabbing his face in both hands, as he blinks sleepily back at you, thumb brushing over his bottom lip, leaning in as you whisper: “Thank you.” 

You kiss him softly, his hand around your back pulling you impossibly closer as you drag your lips against his. You’re murmuring thank yous, love yous in between kisses, feeling delirious with how much you want him. How much you need him. You rake your hands into his hair as you deepen the kiss, heat searing through you when he groans into your mouth. 

“It's so crazy,” you say when you pull away, relishing the dazed look in his eyes, the way his gaze keeps falling back to your lips. “That you just look like this and it isn’t even the best thing about you.”

“Baby - “

“I’m serious, it's like… I fell in love with your heart and your mind and your stupid sense of humor and how patient you are, how kind,” you say, your fingers running through his hair, heart clenching when he leans into your touch. “And then you had to go and grow up like this with a six pack and these bloody arms and that face - it’s my favorite face. God, you’re maddening.” 

You drag your hands down from his hair to his chest, resting on the muscles there, drawing mindless patterns, stomach twisting when his eyes darken. His hand slides up your back and rests on the back of your neck.

“C’mere.” his voice comes out as deep as gravel, pulling you towards him and kissing you hard. You feel overwhelmed with your love for him, each slide of his lips against yours making you dig your hands into his chest as you slowly rock your hips against his, consumed by need.

“What’s gotten into y’ this morning?” he pants out when you pull away, kissing along his neck down to his shoulders, tongue darting out to taste the skin. 

“Woke up with you in my bed,” you say, lips dragging against his skin, your words reminiscent of his that first morning in Italy. “Looking this good. Driving me mental.”

“Yeah? Tell me.” he rasps out, hand sliding up into your hair as you start to kiss along his tattoos, stopping amongst your favorites to suck a mark into the skin. “Love hearing what I do t’ you.”

“Just keep remembering how it felt to be wrapped up in your arms yesterday,” you say, lips dragging across his skin. “Felt so nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm, but it’s… nothing compared to how it feels when you grab a hold of me with your hands.” you say, “Know it's archaic but something about you getting possessive gets me so hot.”

“Gets you wet, doesn’t it?” he rumbles out, his hands sliding up and down your body, squeezing at all the right places as you gasp against his skin. “‘S cause I like taking hold of what’s mine.”

You can’t help the moan that escapes you at that, rocking your hips down against his, feeling him get hard for you. His hands slide down to grab your ass, smirking at you when you lock eyes and you just want to wreck him.

“And your tattoos…thought they were so stupid at first,” you say, focusing back on the task at hand as he huffs a laugh, his hand sliding up into your hair and pulling as you bite down on a cluster on his arm, tongue smoothing over the skin. “And now…”

“Now?” he says, his breath coming in a bit more ragged, the audible effect you’re having on him making heat surge through you as you look up at him. 

“Wanna get my mouth on all of them.”

A groan punches out of him as he pulls your head back up to his to kiss you deeply. It’s rough and messy from the start, his other hand sliding up your legs to your hips, encouraging their rolls against his. You moan into his mouth as his tongue sweeps over yours. You know you could get lost in this sensation, the way his breath stutters against your mouth when you grind your hips just so, how he pulls a bit harder on your hair when you kiss him deep, the feeling of his big, warm hands on you. But you’re a woman on a mission here. 

You pull back slowly, kissing a line down his jaw, hands drawing mindless circles against his chest, feeling the way it’s warming under your touch, the way his heart is racing. You slide down his body, taking the sheet with you as your lips drag against his chest, taking your time to stop and suck a mark on each tattoo that adorns his chest, stopping when you get to the laurels on his hips, lips dancing against his skin as you wrap your hand around his cock, already halfway hard and waiting for you. 

He inhales deeply the second your hand makes contact, a hissed “fuck” leaving his lips as you slide further down the bed, settling between his thighs, lips dragging from his hips to kiss a line up his cock. You look up at him as you pump your hand, taking in the flush crawling up his neck, the way his chest is heaving, how he bites at his lip, his hooded eyes never leaving your face. 

You kiss the tip, tongue splaying out to take him into your mouth. His head slams back against the pillows, long neck straining as he inhales sharply through his nose. From this angle, you can see your handiwork, the bruises starting to bloom on his skin, proof that you were there. That he’s yours for the taking. The thought makes you moan around his cock as you suck more of him into your mouth, a trail of expletives leaving his mouth at the sensation as his arm falls over his eyes.

You pull off with a louder than intended slurp, keeping your eyes on him as you drag kisses up and down his length. 

“Don’t you want to watch me?” you ask, as your tongue darts out to lick along his vein. A groan punches out of his chest as his arm falls to his side, other hand coming up to slide your hair away from your face and stays there, a steady presence on the back of your head, never pushing down, just holding tight. 

“Fuck, baby” he grunts out. “Look so good -”  

He cuts himself off with a moan as you take him in your mouth again, his blown eyes locking with yours, flitting down to your mouth and back again. You watch him watch you before you have to close your eyes, getting lost in the taste of him, the sounds he’s making, how he feels in your hands, your mouth. Heat sears through you and you can feel how wet you’re getting, just at having him like this, like putty in your hands, every flick of your tongue drawing a new sound out of him. 

You keep one hand on him as you close your eyes, working him further down into your mouth, gagging slightly when he hits the back of your throat, his hand tightening in your hair as he grunts,  tongue flicking along the vein running up the underside of his cock, other hand falling to gently cup his balls.

“Oh shit - angel, just like that -”

You open your eyes, blinking away the tears, taking him into the back of your throat again just to watch the way his face crumples, flush spreading across his cheeks as he looks back at you, eyes the darkest you’ve ever seen them, chest heaving. 

You pull off again, tongue flicking up and down his cock as you catch your breath, continuing to pump him as his head falls back to the pillow, mouth open as he pants for air. 

“Can y’ get back on me, love? ‘M so close - gonna - yes.” he moans when you take him down once more, sucking hard and pumping your hand once and that’s all it takes for him to shoot off into your mouth, lips tightening as you swallow it down, feeling his eyes on you as you close your eyes and give one final suck, pulling off slowly. 

You sit back on your heels, licking your lips before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. You hear a soft groan and look up to see his eyes peeking at you from where he had thrown his arm over his head, his chest moving rapidly up and down as he tried to catch his breath. He looks wrecked, something that fills you with pride even as you absolutely ache for him. You shift a bit, able to feel yourself dripping through your underwear as you rub your hands up and down his legs.

“Y’ got me good. Fuck.” he says, making you snort. His arm falls to his side, eyes taking you in fully as he slowly gathers his bearings. “Where did that come from?”

You shrug, squeezing his thigh. “Missed you. Was a long two months”

“Gonna have me leaving more often if that’s how you welcome me home.” 

“Noooo,” you say, crawling your way back up his body and planking over him, his dark eyes gazing up at you, the flush on his cheeks not yet faded. You did that.  His hand comes up to brush your hair away from your face, his thumb dragging down your cheek. “Please don’t.”

“Not going anywhere, not gonna leave you again,” he says, muttering utter nonsense as he wraps his hand around the back of your neck, pulling you down for a kiss, “C’mere.”

It’s rough and wet from the start, his tongue swiping over yours, moaning the second he can taste himself on your tongue. 

“Fuck you’re so fit,” he says, pulling back to kiss any part of your face he could touch as he sits up, wrapping an arm around your waist to help you sit in his lap. He grabs the hem of your shirt, shaking it in frustration, “Get this off.”

You reach down and pull your shirt off, his eyes immediately falling to your chest, hands sliding up your back as he kisses down your chest, one hand squeezing your breast while he sucks your other nipple into his mouth, biting down lightly when you moan. He switches sides, each drag of his tongue hurtling you towards the edge. You’ve been on fire since you first put your mouth on him, feeling closer to your high than ever. 

“These too.” he says, hand sliding down to snap the waistband of your underwear, helping you lean back to pull them off, settling you back on his lap once they’re gone. 

“Said you liked my tattoos, yeah?” he says, kissing a line down your neck, sucking at the skin as you nod. He pulls back to look at your face, leaning in to kiss you before biting your lip and pulling away, hands squeezing your arse. “Sit on my tiger, love.”

He shifts you onto his thigh, flexing the muscle, both of you moaning when you’re seated. You are soaked, moreso than you thought, and the feeling of his hairy thigh right against your dripping core sends heat down your spine. His hands fall to your hips, encouraging you to roll against him.

“Tha’s it. Ride my thigh, baby.” he says, one hand sliding down to grip at your ass as his lips fall to your neck. “Did y’ like having me in your mouth? Looked like y’ did…feels like y’ did.”

“H, I -” you gasped out, hands digging into his shoulders as you found your rhythm, each drag of your hips sending you closer to the edge. “‘M so wet -”

“Know y’ are, can feel it -” he groans, “Gonna make a mess on me?”

“Fucking - shit.” you moan, one hand sliding up into his hair and pulling at the strands as you grind down hard, stomach twisting as a wave of pleasure rolls through you. 

“Feels good, yeah?” he mumbles against your skin, biting down when you gasp. “Y’ can push down a little harder, love - yeah tha’s it, baby. Go after it for me.”

Your mind is hazy, the movement of your hips getting sloppy as you get closer to the edge. You pulled his head up to yours, kissing him deeply, moaning into his mouth when both of his hands slid down to grip your bum, heat flowing through every part of your body as you pant against his lips. 

“I’m close - I-”

“C’mon angel, come for me. Soak that tiger -”

“Fuck -” you moan, hands pulling on his hair as you come, feeling him groan against you as you rode out your high. You slump into him once you’re done, breathing heavily onto his neck. He shifts you so you’re sat fully in his lap, hands sliding up your back, rubbing soothing patterns as he kisses along your hairline, mumbling praise into your hair. 

He kisses down the side of your face and you pull back to stare at him, both of you smiling when you lock eyes. He holds your chin in between his pointer finger and thumb, pulling you into him as he kisses you. You wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls kiss after kiss from you, the two of you getting lost in each other as you come back down to earth. 

You pull back slowly, his lips drifting to your cheek, your temple, your nose, as he pulls his head back to look at you, soft smile on his face, light sheen of sweat on his forehead. 

“Love you,” you whisper.

“Love you so much,” he says, planting a kiss to the corner of your mouth, to your cheek before pulling away, emotion clouding over his face.

“Y’ missed a spot,” he says softly, eyes widening when you thumb at the corner of your mouth. “No - Jesus - i didn’t mean -” 

He cuts himself off with a shake of his head, looking down at his lap before looking back at you, his expression almost unreadable. He seems nervous, though you’ve got no clue why. You slide a hand up into his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp while he gathers his thoughts.

“Meant with the um, tattoos.” he says, rubbing at his nose with his knuckle as he clears his throat. “Y’ missed one.”

“Pretty sure I got all of them.”

“Nah,” he says with a light shake of his head. “Got a new one.”

“What?!” you say, mouth dropping in shock, both hands immediately grabbing his arm, poring over the countless tattoos to see how you missed one. “Where? Oh shit - am I like, sat on it?”

“Nooo,” he says, laughter punching through his words, though his eyes remain focused on you, soft and full of love, you’re so busy trying to find the new tattoo you’re barely paying attention. “Other arm, love.”

“You barely have any on that arm - how did I miss it?” you say, already grabbing for that other arm, looking up at him when he doesn’t move it towards you.

“‘M mean, it’s quite small and a bit hidden -”

“Oh my god,” you say, swatting at his chest, “Let me see it!” 

He slowly lifts his arm up and there, right on his inner bicep, is his new tattoo.

It’s like all the air got sucked out of the room, your eyes hardly believing what they’re seeing, your heart skipping a beat. It’s a single letter, just your first initial like the ones he has for his mum and sister but this one is different…the font is different. It’s - oh. 

It’s in your handwriting. 

“Know it’s not much -” he starts to say before you blindly cover his mouth with your hand, refusing to take your eyes off the tattoo for one second. He huffs a laugh against your palm, pressing a kiss to it and keeping his mouth shut. His eyes are burning holes in the side of your face but you can’t look away from his arm. From your initial on his arm. A permanent tattoo of your initial on his arm.

There’s no redness, no raised skin, so he must have had it for a while, a thought that sends butterflies through your stomach. 

“When did you get this?” 

“‘Bout a month ago. Two hours after you called me, give or take.” he says, and you look over at him, the open affection on his face knocking the wind out of you, tears pricking your eyes. 

“Is that -” you say, swallowing heavily against the wave of emotion flowing through you, “That’s my handwriting, yeah?”

He nods. “From a birthday card y’ wrote me ages ago. Always loved how you signed your name.”

You just look at him and back at his arm, biting down on your lip. It’s not to say that any of this felt temporary, you had no doubts you were both in this for the long haul, there is just something about the permanence of a tattoo for you on his skin that is making your head whirl in the best possible way.

“D’ you like it?” he asks quietly and you pull your eyes away to face him once again, his thumb coming up to brush away the tears that start to fall from your eyes. “Are y’ crying because it’s ugly and y’ hate it?”

You shake your head, biting at your lip as any words you try to come up with to describe this feeling inside you feel utterly inadequate.

“Know it’s small but I wanted to have something just for me, that only I could see most of th’ time. To remind me of you, to have with me wherever I go.”

“On your skin. Forever.”

“Yeah,” he says, huffing a laugh. “Forever. After that conversation we had … think I’ve always been a bit scared of permanence, feeling trapped in something, always thinking of what else is out there. There’s none of that, with you. No fear. Just feel so bloody excited, to get to be with you and know and love you in this new way.”

“Me too.” you say, heart racing at the smile that grows on his face. “I love the tattoo.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck, sliding one hand up into his hair, taking a deep breath, wanting to get this right. You have time to tell him how you feel now. There’s no looming party guests, nothing you’re hiding from, nothing you’re rushing to. It’s you and him, with all the time in the world. 

“When I confessed my feelings the first time, felt like I rushed it a bit. Didn’t mean to say it out loud and just told you you’re my favorite person about eight times.”

“No complaints here,” he says, his shining eyes not once drifting away from yours.

“Yeah but I want to say more this time. You are my best friend and my favorite person.” you say, heart fluttering when he smiles so wide his dimple pops out. “And… I’ve spent most of my life loving you and thought I had a pretty good handle on what that felt like, what it meant to be utterly in love with you. But after these last few months… turns out I’ve been barely scratching the surface. I can’t believe the amount of love I feel for you - I’ve never felt like this with anyone before and to have it be with you…not sure there are words for it, really. I think you’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”

You see the way your words hit him, tears clouding his eyes as he tightens his mouth in an attempt to hold it all in, looking at you in awe, in love. Nothing but love. 

You lean in at the same time, mouths connecting in a sweet kiss, arms holding each other tight, as close as you can possibly be. In disbelief that you’re here, marveling at how far you’ve come from that courtyard, reveling in the feeling of his mouth on yours, his hands sliding over your skin. Thinking back to those two kids dancing together in the school gym, the two 22 year old best friends fighting in the pub for reasons you couldn’t decipher, stares lingering at his mum’s birthday years later for reasons you refused to admit.  

The one who tried to be your first kiss when you were thirteen but got too nervous, who held you when your granddad died, who called you from across an ocean when the pressure got too much, who cried in the courtyard when you told him you loved him the night before his wedding, who knocked on your hotel room door at four in the morning to say, “‘m leaving and I want you to come with me.”, the one who made love to you in his bedroom in Italy, the one who held you in your tiny kitchen and made your relationship official, the one who has a tattoo for you on his arm, permanent. Yours. Yours. Yours.

You pull away slowly, wide smiles and tear tracks covering both of your faces, cheeks flushed and eyes full of love. He nudges his nose against yours, pressing a kiss to your lips before pulling back.

“You and me, yeah?” he whispers, arms holding you so carefully, strongly, tightly. 

“Yeah,” you say, leaning in to kiss him again and again and again. “You and me.”

----

a/n: holy fucking shit can we believe it?! man how deeeply i appreciate all of you who have waited this long for this part, i worked on it for months and truly cant believe its here, lots of days felt like it was never going to come together. endless gratitude for everyone who reads and loves them like i do and was nagging me to keep working on it. there is still more of their story to tell that i wasnt possibly going to add on too this 20k saga so ill see u at the epilogue <3. never spent more time on a piece of writing in my life, pleease let me know what you think. ily ily ily.

taglist: @tobesolovelysstuff, @louyoursins, @daydreamingofmatilda, @jojo-blog53, @marzhshaim, @devilsqueen722, @just-happiness-only,@lomlhstyles, @feestyles, @spock4presidnet, @sunshinemoonsposts, @indierockgirrl, @jerseygirlinca, @kissitnhekitchen,

[oshinohoshi]

Oshi no Ko Ch 158 Thoughts

This might be the worst chapter. I want to love my favorite manga. I really do. I guess we can't always have nice things

So Nino and Hikaru killed Ryosuke. I assume that's meant literally and not talking him into suicide. Well, okay, but it's a lot more powerful for Ryosuke to have taken his life out of guilt and despair

Akane is doing something in Miyazaki. She finally has plot relevance again. It probably won't last long

Now to the main event. What is the point of Ruby getting knifed besides shock value? Ai's death was a catalyst for the plot and a statement on toxic fandom/obsession, expectations of purity, and how (subtextually) Ichigo's and (textually) her mother's neglect led to a lack of awareness about her safety: "they didn't teach us [to use door chains] in the children's home." Most importantly, Ai realized she loved her kids

Ruby's stabbing says what, exactly? If this was well-written, I could see it being narratively satisfying to go full circle

However, we have seen Ruby experience very little of the above except for the kind of ham-fisted monologue she gives about the impermanence of idols (i.e. expectations of youth and beauty)

Which is an odd speech because it propositions Ai as a shining jewel immortalized by being brutally murdered. Huh? If that was framed as incredibly dark it might work, but it isn't

Of course this is about obsession and idolization, but that's already well-established in better ways

The parallels between Ruby and Ai seem forced and it's all mixed up with how Ruby is not Ai. Sure, there are similarities like the awful way their mothers treated them and her carrying Ai's genes and onstage presence

But Ruby stated in ch 137 that she wouldn't be like Ai

By the way, I hate this so much. It's fine to strive not to repeat your mom's mistakes, but how about some recognition of why Ai was like that

And what the hell is with ch 147's "I'll become an idol that surpasses my mom." That was never Ruby's goal. She wanted to fulfill Ai's wishes (she didn't really understand Ai's wishes, but anyway) and live the life she dreamed of as Sarina

Perhaps Ruby was stabbed so Aqua can save her and free himself from guilt. Except I thought Aqua was already at that point since his inner monologue in ch 150. Plus, saving his sister =/= his guilt about Ai

AND WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO MY GIRL NINO. I half-joked before that I was eating up the toxic yuri and I am, sort of, because yuri is my jam, even psycho lesbian yuri

But Nino been reduced to a paper thin villain. In the side story 45510, Nino was a complex character

In the chapter where she met Ruby, we also saw some of that in terms of her regret for treating Ai poorly

Now she's a joke. Would the Nino of 45510 stab the daughter of her obsession? I dunno, maybe, but how about a little internal conflict over that. How about anything that doesn't reduce her to a one dimensional villain whose only thought is Ai being the best idol

I've spilled too many words already so I'll just briefly mention Kana's graduation concert being all about Ruby. The story seemed to be leaning towards some Kana centric chapters what with her confession to Aqua and her graduation, but I guess not

Oh, and what the hell is this art. Compare:

Mengo phoned this in. Look at the right panel: the flowers, the way Ai's hair is all over the place, the more natural pose, the details of her billowing dress, even the knife looks more natural. It's brilliant. The Ruby panel looks like a cheap knockoff

I don't care if this is not real, it should look impactful

And if it a fake out, that will be so, so bad

Btw Nino picking up a plain hoodie at the dollar store to imitate Ryosuke (doesn't she hate him for killing Ai? Or was she involved in that?) is hilarious

And so, Oshi no Disappointment strikes again.

On the plus side, I'm very much not well with my obsession over Ai, and her character has remained strong throughout the story. So no matter how bad things get, I'll still be a fairly happy camper at the end of the day.

Next week: This was all according to keikaku. The knife has been switched out for a rubber one. Aqua is on the sidelines filming it so that they throw Nino in jail. The fandom collectively groans.

[aha-chuu]

My thoughts on the Fontaine characters rn (pre 4.0)

I saw someone making a post about their thoughts and they were tragically wrong and I disagreed. So here I am, being opinionated.

I'm not gonna discuss leaks, I'm just talking about the character designs and what lore we know from the trailer and teaser :))

Lyney

So, Lyney is great. I love that he's kind of sussy, and his teaser that recently came out is almost... Sinister. And yet, he also checks the boxes of being really fun and extroverted! Venti vibes tbh.

Design wise? His animations are the best in the game, hands down. They suit the performance aspect of his character perfectly and are almost enough to make me pull for him.

Tragically, his character design isn't really for me. I think the simplicity works with the bombastic animations, and I'm glad to see he's wearing a reasonable outfit for the job he does (a rarity in Genshin). And yet, I'm a bit too much of a lesbian to be uber interested in the twinky direction his design leans.

Not pulling.

Lynette

So she's super cute. We have got a lot of cat girls already (I think Lyney should have also been a cat-person tbh) but I love that Lyney isn't actually doing cat things. Like, she's this subdued introvert, no meowing during her attacks or curling up in boxes like Kirara. She's just a person.... Who's also a cat.

I like her character design better than Lyney's; the blue just stands out a lot more than his red does, and the big bow is a better centerpiece to her design than Lyney's hat is to his. Plus, her animations are also nice.

We're getting her for free so I likely won't pull, but I am already preparing artifacts to build her on my account.

Freminet

Have I said how much I like sibling dynamics? These three actually seem pretty close and like they will gasp interact with each other! In comparison to the likes of the Kamisatos, this is miraculous.

I know several people who love this guy, and I do think he looks good. I saw some complaints about his hair cut (I think it's adorable), and the chunky boots & coat really serve to emphasise his awkwardness without sacrificing aesthetics.

Unfortunately, he's a physical claymore character, so it's a big skip from me.

Focalors/Furina

Well she's a brat huh. I worry after Raiden that they'll destroy Furina's character arc in order to make her more palatable, but I want her to go full Marie Antoinette. All the lore with the Oceanids disliking her and the general stuff about using the court for entertainment make me very interested in her.

As a design, I just dislike the twin tails. I love the blazer and the huge gem and the hat that's actually a crown!! Like, Furina is extravagant and over the top, obviously self obsessed - she looks perfect in that regard.

Since she's the archon and she's Hydro, she'll probably be broken meta wise. I'll likely pull, but mostly to make cool teams with her, not because she's a fave of mine specifically.

Neuvilette

... Father?

FR though, I understand why several people are crazy about this man. I do wish he looked a bit older since that's sort of where his characterisation is - he's done with Furina's shit and he's doing all the actual work of running Fontaine. With the elf ears, I expect him to be some sort of long-life species - he has no visible Vision and his hair kind of looks oceanid-like, so I figure he's not actually human. That along with the slits in his eyes. I hope he turns out to be older than Furina, and that he has a kind of reluctant dad & spoiled daughter relationship with her; we do see him tell her off in the teaser.

Neuvilette is the most feminine tall man character and the hair is a great aspect of the design. The colour palette is good and I do like the robes since he's a Judge, however I think it might get a bit boring to look at when you're playing as him - which is probably why the hair is so dramatic, in order to bring interest to the design.

He'll probably be Hydro and he'll probably be a catalyst based on that outfit (it's not exactly maneuverable enough for anything else ':))). I am interested in pulling almost a 100%.

Wriothesley

Another man???

I don't understand people talking about the lack of husbandoes in Fontaine, like look at these fine gentlemen.

We don't have much official info on Wriothesley so I'm gonna dip a little into leaks here, skip if you don't wanna know. He is some sort of prison warden which I bop with - it's an expected expansion on the justice landscape of Fontaine. He's on the rough side of the Fontaine infrastructure, in comparison to most of the other characters. That interests me since it feeds more into the duality themes of Fontaine, though currently we're unevenly biased rn to the more santized characters.

Design wise he's one of my favourites. White/black/red looks so good, as does his kind of punk esque chains. The tie puts me off somewhat, like he looks sort of smart and put together, but then the rest of the design undercuts that.

Leaks say Wriothesley is a physical standard banner five star. This fills me with fear. I also don't know what his actual personality will be, so let's say I'm undecided on pulling him.

Charlotte

I liked her personality and en VA in that one TCG event, unfortunately much like that event, Charlotte looks boring. She's cute, whatever, but she doesn't seem particularly story relevant and her design hasn't captured me.

I'm just not that interested.

Sigewinne(?)

Okay, she's cuter than Charlotte she's a sea slug person so immediately more interesting. She was also hanging out with Wriothesley, which is so adorable considering how different they seem.

We're dipping back into leaks here, but it seems like she might be another Hydro healer. I've seen people annoyed by this, but I'm perfectly fine with it - I don't have Kokomi and I like Nilou bloom as much as the next person.

If Sigewinne is a four star, I hope she's on a banner for a cool five star.

Navia

I know a lot of people like this woman. Taylor Swift etc (I am not overly into Taylor Swift), but I think Navia could be cool.

I find her design overcrowded. I do think this suits the fact that we're playing with French Revolution ideas and she's part of the bourgeoisie, so ofc she's overdecorated and elaborate in her fashion. Even though it makes sense, I still don't like the arsthetic of it.

On the other hand, I do like the yellow - it's not a colour we see in too many Genshin designs. I don't really like how it fits with the blue jewellery though.

Personality wise, I worry a bit that she's gonna be our waifu bait, but they did Dehya's characterisation really well without falling into that trap. Navia could be very fun and I think there's a lot of promise in the idea that she might be a class traitor, teaming up with us against the Fontaine government (wow Genshin loves a corrupt government huh).

Will I pull? She's a geo claymore user and my triple crowned Itto is already collecting dust. That's a no from me.

Clorinde

Everyone say hello to my wife:

(I'm waiting)

I've seen so many people mad at Clorinde when I think she looks great. Her outfit is simpler than is typical for Genshin, but that's cos she's a no-nonsense fighter type! Like how we saw with Lyney, more muted designs often mean more dramatic animations, and we already saw Clorinde doing some dynamic fight stuff in the trailer.

She really interests me in that she's a champion duellist, strong enough that even Childe wants to fight her. We see Clorinde works directly beside Neuvilette in the trailer, so she must be high up in position. A gun and a sword? She's trying to kill Navia, but the Devs describe their relationship as "complicated"??

Clorinde is an Electro woman and these are always queer fyi.

I hope she's pretty straight laced, but not quite in the Sara way. She's boring tbh, mostly because she is always answering to someone else, and she gets so little screen time. For Clorinde to work, I think she needs to have independence and apt presence in the story to be explored - not just a prop/obstacle.

Her personality makes me fearful, but rn I'm pulling 100%.

[starsoftheeye]

TMagP 17 Reaction

Pre-Episode

I've discovered that acting disinterested literally makes the episodes show up earlier on my youtube account, so I've gotta play mindgames on this app every thursday to get to see the episodes less than half an hour after they release lol

Pre-Statement

Ah Celia is back on her bullshit

Wait did she just nearly get ran over???

I feel bad for laughing at her but her only reaction being "Oh for gods sake" is super funny to me how long has she been doing this

oh hi sam

oh god she missed their date :[

something tells me a habit is going to be made of this, especially considering she literally cannot help it

"it really wasn't" yeah no wonder you nearly became roadkill

theyre so cute i love them

ooh shes mad

Statement

"catalyst" huh, have we heard that before or is this the first time

pfft not the interviewer getting read to shreds

wild theory before i keep going, based on the title "saved copy" and the "identity crisis", "existential horror", "temporal distortion" and "captivity" tags, im going to assume that this person going to therapys having the details of their life copied somewhere for something to replicate and replace them, and the doctors gonna attempt to get rid of them but obviously it didnt work. either that or the guy outside the office does something

as someone whos never done meditation before this is not encouraging me to start

ah office spaces, the worst of cosmic horror

wait did they get teleported or something

tbf if my taxi driver started driving completely the wrong way i'd assume the worst and start "exchanging words" too

oh my god was i right

wait is this copy based on their therapy, a version of themselves with no problems whatsoever? and is this gonna be a "there can only be one" type scenario?

oh wait no i forgot siblings exist

wait nvm them having the same name is weird

"dates and times" so this is where the temporal distortion comes in ig

yup

i'm sticking with the "rich-darrien is a copy trying to assimilate into og-darriens life" theory for now

yeah because thats not normal darrien, even if youre related no-one looks completely identical apart from glasses, teeth colour and a lack of a beer-gut

do they both think the other is the copy, or does sharron just not know?

oh god what is he hiding

does he beat up a real person every time hes upset

of course it was his father that makes sense

oh my god the sound design

oh my god he's the one who assimilated thats so cool

good for sharron i hope shes doing okay

off-topic but i love the way the voices get more real as the statement goes on then go back to their more robotic tone at the end

Post-Statement

as a celia fan i am eating well this week jeez

celia my dear what do you mean by that "not exactly the same though, it is?" girlie what have you done what are you hidinggg

alice!

who was playing the music in the background there?

as someones whos computing department in school consists of keyboard with never-before-discovered types of bacteria wedged between the keys thats valid

alice dyer i love you so much

ah the dyhard is dyharding

ah yes the mutual "i'm traumatised and i know you are too but i don't like you enough to give details on mine or ask about yours so we'll just sit and suffer in silence til the ice somehow breaks" dynamic

also colin mention woohoo i love the scottish man

the computer start up noise and power down noise at the beginning and end of every episode kind of makes me think that someone is watching all of this (maybe us, or more likely someone in-universe)

anyway that was fun, i'm doing this late but this was a nice way to spend my first proper off-day since finishing all my exams

[the-himawari]

A3! Outing Event Translation - You're my first and last love. (7/11)

*Please read disclaimer on blog

---

Masumi: …

Hisoka: …I thought you’d be here.

Masumi: …

Hisoka: …What’s wrong?

Masumi: …

Hisoka: …

Masumi: … Last night…

Hisoka: Go on.

Masumi: I went to the lounge. To get a drink.

Hisoka: …

Masumi: At that moment, I heard Director’s voice. I thought it was fate since I was just thinking I wanted to see her. But… Sakyo was with her. And then—. He said something about “love” to Director.

Hisoka: …Huh?

Masumi: ...I figured I just misheard at first. I didn’t hear their entire conversation after all. However, I started feeling worried when I considered whether he might’ve actually meant it that way. After Sakyo said that to her, she laughed really happily.

Hisoka: …

Masumi: …Even if Director chooses another person, my feelings for her won’t change. I thought that even if she chose someone apart from me, I wouldn’t mind as long as she was happy. …Even so, imagining it still hurt my heart.

Hisoka: …

Masumi: That’s what happened, so I couldn’t keep it together at today’s meeting. In actuality, Sakyo was right about the idea I suggested before. It was something I wanted to do for Director.

Hisoka: …So that was true?

Masumi: …Yeah. When I was asked if I had any ideas again today, I just couldn’t hold back all the things on my mind.

Hisoka: …So you took your anger out on him.

Masumi: …I know. I honestly do regret it a little.

Hisoka: It’s great that you’re reflecting properly. Sakyo was just as in the wrong though. …What did you actually want to do, Masumi?

Masumi: I… want to put on a play for Director. But I know that’s not the point of the thank you event that all of us are trying to put together, so—.

Hisoka: …Zzz.

Masumi: He fell asleep while listening? …

???: Woahh!

???: Hold up, Sakuya-san!

???: I gotchu!

Sakuya: Thank you, Misumi-san!

Azami: You actually caught Sakuya-san falling from that position?

Misumi: I’m glad you didn’t hit your head.

Masumi: …What are you guys doing?

Sakuya: We heard from Hisoka-san that you might be here… So the three of us came to look for you.

Azami: I caught up with these two in the middle, so I also overheard a bit. Sorry.

Misumi: I see. So you wanted to do a play, huh~?

Masumi: …

Azami: Well, I mean… to be honest, I don’t really understand Masumi-san’s motives. But it’s fine if it’s for Director’s sake, ain’t it?

Masumi: Huh?

Azami: Even if Director’s the catalyst or motivation for Masumi-san to take action, as long the fans are happy as a result, then that ain’t a bad thing. Right? I mean, put it this way… if Director wasn’t here, then Masumi-san wouldn’t be a part of MANKAI Company in the first place. If we’re expressin’ our gratitude to our fans, then there’s nothing wrong with starting with Director. …I dunno if you get what I mean though.

Masumi: …

Misumi: I totally agree. Masumi, you’re a good guy so you were just overthinking it~.

Sakuya: Masumi-kun. Tell Sakyo-san about your current feelings and ask him. Let him know that you’d like to do a play.

Masumi: …It’s impossible to do anything now though. He mentioned that there’s nothing like a stage. Plus we don’t have enough time to prepare anyways.

Sakuya: Then instead of asking, let’s give him a suggestion. Let’s come up with a plan that will convince Sakyo-san!

Misumi: I’m down, I’m down! It’s a strategy meeting! I’ll go get a notebook!

*runs off*

Azami: Damn straight. We’ll show Sakyo who’s boss.

Masumi: No, I don’t have any—.

Sakuya: Come on, Masumi-kun. Let’s get going!

*pulls*

Masumi: Watch it. I’m going to fall too.

Hisoka: …Good luck, Masumi.

---

previous | next

[galacticwarpedlense]

My opinions on Maru and Seb's family

Huh, something not about Elliott...how different.

I have some complicated feelings about the fam as I don't really dislike any of them but I can see their faults. To try and make a long LONG post a bit shorter, I'll just mention a fault I see with every person, a way they either can or could have fixed it and if I see any reconciliation specifically with Sebastian and Demetrius, the most obvious strained relationship.

Let's start with the character I most relate to, Demetrius. I like the guy. He seems very nice, cares about the environment, and he clearly loves his wife and daughter. Where he falters is obviously how he raised Sebastian. But not exactly how I think most have said he has. He clearly tried to raise Sebastian from both the book in his room called "Practical Tips For First-Time Step-Dads" and Sebastian's dialogue criticizing Demetrius's attempts at discipline. At some point though, he seemed to have just given up on trying to the point where he doesn't even mention Seb in his dialogue. Do I think Demetrius was being malicious? No. I'm under the personal headcanon that he's probably on the spectrum (from other unrelated dialogue and events) so he possibly just struggled to communicate. Let us remember that the man never says anything negative about Sebastian. I think he should have spent more time trying to understand Sebastian rather than giving up to raise Maru instead.

Then there's the main boy himself. Sebastian. I do not think he's mainly at fault, however, I do think he has some fault. He is very quick to make snide comments about his sister and step-father and while Demetrius can be argued to be deserved, Maru has wanted nothing more than to be closer to Sebastian so it seems oddly cruel. I will give Seb some leeway since he was clearly a child when his father left and that can cause some scars and children should not be expected to act as maturely as adults should. We don't know much about his bio dad but we can at least assume he's not in Seb's life anymore for whatever reason. I do understand that can lead to abandonment issues and a need to distance yourself so you don't get hurt but I'm pretty sure that's also the catalyst to the strain on his relationship with his step-dad. Not the cause, the cause is mutual distancing, but the catalyst. I think Seb needed to be more open with Demetrius and Maru rather than shutting them out and he still has a chance to do that, Maru still wants to have a sibling relationship, Demetrius still has that book, neither have completely given up on him, but he needs to accept that olive branch before they do.

I have some commentary on Robin's involvement in that strained relationship or more accurately, the lack of involvement. Robin does seem like a loving wife (if a bit mean to Demetrius sometimes) and an attentive mother being doting on her son and daughter... though I do think she babies Sebastian a little. But that's not my issue with her. I think she was way too distant with her family's relationship with each other. She's basically the glue that holds these people together and we can only assume that she simply watched her family grow distant. No one mentions her trying to repair the damage and she doesn't show concern about how distant Sebastian is becoming from the family. She mentions Seb's distance from her but not Maru or Demetrius. There isn't much evidence of her stepping in to either convince Seb to give Demetrius a chance or to inform Demetrius of the actions he's doing that are driving Seb away. I feel like she should have stepped in more.

Then there's Maru. Probably the most faultless person in the family. Like Seb, she was a child when the strains in her family's relationship started so there was little she could do. She wanted to have a sibling relationship with Sebastian but he was too closed off so she just stuck with having a relationship with her parents instead. I think she definitely could tone down on the condescension as if she can show that to the farmer, she's probably said worse to her family. But other than that, she was simply a kid born into a distant family.

Wow, this ended up being longer than I thought it would be...

Uh, in conclusion, this family needs to talk to each other. Communication is important. And probably family therapy. Lot's of family therapy.

[shephar]

Saw a Genshin x Persona 5 post and thought of what Joe Ker would be like as a Genshin character.

Can be read as related to my Yusuke post or standalone, or even related to my Cyno post :3

Under the cut, as usual, duh.

About: Introduction.

"Oh! They call me Joker, sometimes, but my friends call me Akira, and I think we'll be great friends."

He's an Anemo character, surprising or unsurprisingly. I chose this because of how the Anemo Traveler and other Anemo characters can use the swirl mechanic to semi-manipulate other elements.

About: Vision.

"Mondstat's the city of Freedom, under the Anemo Archon of Freedom... Hmm. I suppose it's not too surprising I got an Anemo vision, then..."

For a weapon he uses a catalyst, due to his affinity for magic, which is abnormally high for a regular citizen of Teyvat, at least to those not from Khaenri'ah. He is from Khaenri'ah, of course, because he's just That Guy.

Aside from that, his skill has a chance to add an element to his attacks, which most people assume comes from his magic affinity, when in reality he just uses matches, ice-cubes, bottled water, dirt, or leaves. It's unknown how he does Electro-swirl...

These can be seen if you pay attention to his skill activations, but not for the Electro.

About: Swirl.

"You wanna know how I add elements to my attacks? Don't you know, a magician never reveals his secrets. Maybe I'll tell you later?"

His burst is an AoE targeting skill, which works by having each subsequent attack from any party member (even co-op) gaining 30% of their damage per hit.

If he's on a solo-run, however, his skill changes to a Hermanubis/Persona-like phantasm attacking enemies while Joker does as well. This is because, unlike Yusuke, where it's up to choice if he's from the Persona-verse, Joker definitely is.

About: Family/Home.

"My family? Hmm, well, it's just me and my sister, really, but it's been a while since I've been back to Fontaine. I wonder how she is, being called Father must be strange, huh..."

Akira is, much like Arlecchino, from Khaenri'ah and then lived in the House of the Hearth as a child. Their childhoods are this similar because they are twins. However, Akira chose to explore Teyvat after the Mother was defeated, wanting to see what the world has to offer.

He earned his Vision in an unknown way, when asking, Arlecchino only has this to say:

"My brother's Vision? Hmm, I suppose he's always had it, even when we were younger."

About: Archons.

"They're just... Regular people, or people adjacent. I don't really care all that much about them. I feel bad, really."

He's a five star character, of course, but his splash art is unnaturally bland for a five star, instead seeming more like a four star.

Of course, this is because of his affinity for not trying to stand out in Persona 5, which carried over to Genshin Impact.

About: Furina.

"I know people are readily accepting Neuvilette to be our new Archon, he's the hydro sovereign. But, I don't know, I think Furina, or Foccalors, was more... Relatable, I suppose is the term."

As with most other five stars, he also has a Character Story. It's the shortest one, really, should barely even count as a Story, it's a simple conversation with the Traveler. It changes based on friendship rankings.

After the Hangout, he just gives the Traveler a gun. A fake one, albeit a lot more advanced and realistic.

About: Stars (Unlocks at friendship rank 8)

"These stars... Oh, didn't see you there. What was I saying? Oh, it's just... These stars don't seem quite right, as if a painting. They reminded me of a friend, don't worry."

Akira's friendship rankings actually affect his combat potential. At Friendship 8, he has a chance to restore an ally's HP when lower than 10% when he's switched with them.

At Friendship 10, there's a chance he has to revive a downed ally, but this can only happen once per battle and it has only a small chance.

About: Origin (Friendship 10)

"Hmm, my origins? I guess you've ascertained that I'm not from Teyvat... Truth be told, I died. Then, I came back. It wasn't back to where I was from, sadly, but. What can you do? I've made the most of my life here. I do miss my friends, though."

And extras that may or may not be part of this AU, depending on your thoughts. Both unlock after Friendship 10.

About: Yusuke.

"I don't know how he got to Teyvat, but it's nice to know it's not just me in this world, I don't know if he has Gorokichi, but I can still hear my Personal. I hope he wasn't alone until we met again."

About: The General Mahamatra.

"He's a lot more... Intense than from when we were teammates, but it seems he remembers me, at least. He's still got Hermanubis with him. He's even the General Mahamatra."

About: You.

"Why do you want to hear my opinion? You're... you, it doesn't matter what I think, or that's how it should be. You help people, despite them leading to dead ends about your sibling, and that's a lot more selfless than I could act."

About: Relationships.

"I could never bring myself to date back in my world, and it would feel weird now. Arlecchino and I's bloodline is going to end with us, it seems, unless she finds someone. Unlikely, though."

About: Furina.

"She's cool, I can relate to pretending to be someone else to please others. *Uncomfortable laugh*. Except she was faking God, I was faking being a good friend."

That's it. Thanks for reading this garbage.