#she really never got to live for herself
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Victory stands on the back of sacrifice.
#i will always feel for her#and the f*cking price she had to pay for her predestination#all those losses#her childhood#her young natblida friends#costia#gustus#clarke at mount weather#she really never got to live for herself#not until her final hour...#sigh#lexa#commander lexa#clexa#clarke griffin#the 100#my clexa edit#(no worries this didn't take me three whole days to make)#(it took me four)#myedit
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Arcane Season 2 - The Base Violence Necessary for Change
I think this shot is the most interesting part of the trailer. We see a shot of Jinx as a painting on a wall. A symbol. A leader. Her actions stand for revolution in Zaun and I think this could be an interesting expansion of Arcane’s exploration of violence and the idea that there is a base violence necessary for change.
Silco is framed as an antagonist in season 1 because of his actions against the undercity people specifically.
In act 3 he’s not the revolutionary he positioned himself as and is instead hurting the people of Zaun through his leadership. He’s doing as much to hurt topside as Vander was in act 1 (meaning nothing at all). He’s even got the sheriff working with him just like Vander, but, unlike Vander, Silco is hurting his own people to facilitate power and he’s not even fighting for that freedom he claimed to want so much.
We see the damage his actions have wrought. We see the shimmer addicts, forgotten and exploited. We see that he's created a hierarchy rather than a community.
And it’s contrasted with the firelights. People considered terrorists to Piltover, who do use violence to fight back against Silco and topside, and yet offer the biggest glimmer of hope. They aren’t villainized. The act of fighting back isn’t villainized and it shouldn’t be.
Because it’s not the violence in and of itself that’s the issue. It’s what that violence is used for.
The series hammers this idea home through Vander.
Vander’s staunch stance against violence is flawed as well. It comes from a good place. A desire to protect what he loves rather than destroy what he hates and it did create a time free of the death revolution brings, but it’s made it so no ground could be made to free Zaun and create a better world for the people in it. It created stagnation.
The people of the undercity are still stuck in a cycle of crushing poverty, growing up without parents, dying young due to pollution or violence wrought by desperate people or oppressive enforcers.
It didn’t move the needle because Piltover and the system in place wasn’t going to change just because the people of the undercity were playing nice.
The unrest and anger felt towards Vander for his ideal was understandable. His views on the cyclical nature of violence and the fact that if you fight you will lose people (“What are you willing to lose”) is correct, but that doesn’t make this option the ideal one.
Which brings me back to that shot in the trailer of that painting of Jinx.
Season 2 looks like it’s going to be a season of opposites and rediscovery where it flips what we expect of Jinx and Vi on its head and further explores these ideas of violence, oppression, and revolution.
And I think this season might possibly do that by reversing how Vi and Jinx reflect Vander and Silco.
In the first season the siblings were direct reflections of their respective father figures, but now they’re inversions. Jinx can become the good to be found in Silco’s ideals and Vi the pitfalls of Vander’s.
Jinx’s actions in season 1 weren’t those of a revolutionary. Her actions weren’t meant to free the people of the undercity or improve their lives. She didn’t steal the hexcrystal to bring hextech to the undercity and improve their lives and she didn’t kill the enforcers on the bridge to get rid of dirty cops. She didn’t kidnap Caitlyn for a greater cause.
But we know that Jinx isn’t only the violence she enacted. That she is “the monster they (the system and people around her) created”. Her actions weren’t heroic in the first season, but they were driven by the life that was forced upon her. Her hurt and anger are justified.
Now that she’s away from Silco, no longer a part of his machine and actively participating in his actions that were hurting the undercity, her actions and anger can take on a new light. She can rediscover herself away from his manipulations (this isn’t to say he didn’t love her but what he did and said isolated her and allowed her issues to fester) and become that symbol we see on the wall.
Jinx could be in a way what Silco could have been if he didn’t let his own self interest get in the way of his ideals. Not quite as forward thinking as Ekko or as idealistic, but still a symbol for resistance that fights for Zaun.
Whereas Vi is sort of on a path to becoming a darker reflection of Vander’s ideals.
Vi becomes a part of the system she used to rage against.
Based on the season 2 teaser that was released in 2021–
“Nobody else needs to get hurt.”
–I think it’s likely that Vi believes she can prevent more death or can stop Piltover’s violence against the undercity if she takes Jinx in.
Vi sees herself as a protector who has failed at every turn to protect those she cares about. She lost her parents, Powder, Vander, Mylo, Claggor, etc. and she is constantly desperate to try and save what she loves and that will likely drive her decision to become an enforcer.
Vi, like Vander, wants to save what she loves and as a result isn’t going to fight back against topside. This is a much more extreme version of Vander’s ideals. Where she “compromises” in an attempt to prevent bloodshed but as a result enables (or in her case helps) the system in place.
This decision will have negative consequences (and deservedly so!) because no matter what thoughts or feelings are the driving factor in it she is still siding with her oppressors and ultimately helping the system that is the root cause of that loss and pain in the first place.
Based on the clip released at Annecy and what people have said the writers explained about Vi’s arc in season 2 it seems like Vi will be ostracized for this decision and deservedly so. She won’t belong anywhere. To the undercity she’s a traitor and to Piltover she’s nothing more than an undercity rat.
She will have lost everything. She will have no one to protect. And who is Vi if she’s not a protector?
Vi will be forced to re-evaluate who she is and what she wants. Just like Jinx, Vi will have to redefine herself when she loses everything.
I can’t wait for season 2 and what the team at Fortiche has in store for us. The way the show tackles complex themes and ideas is incredible and Vi and Jinx are some of the most compelling and complicated characters I’ve seen on tv. I’m looking forward to November.
#arcane#netflix#arcane vi#arcane jinx#arcane vander#arcane silco#In many ways Vi has idealized Zaun under Vander's leadership#because she was frozen in time when she was thrown into prison#after just losing him#and I think she never really got to process everything#which is why the breakdown#of everything she believes she is#is necessary for her arc#She needs to live in the world that has#moved on and changed#without her old ties#(and without caitlyn)#and discover what it is she wants and believes in#Vi cares#she cares a lot but she's a broken person#who never got the chance to heal#and she makes desperate impulsive decisions#as a result#she does want to make a better future for Zaun#But she doesn't know what that is#JInx on the flipside will have the chance to#rediscover the best of herself in some ways#Parts of Powder are still in there#by that I mean she still cares#She isn't a killing machine
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do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up
i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.
she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.
never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-
i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:
okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.
the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page
she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later
so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions
"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"
"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"
Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.
I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.
On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.
Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.
And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.
Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.
Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it
and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks
And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.
(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)
The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.
And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)
I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.
and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured
In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.
(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)
#asks#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#marcille donato#manga panel analysis#this is probably riddled with typos sorry#readmore cut bc it got long lmao#i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me#bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling.#the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her#the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc.#otherwise it just..#literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all#the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level#she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are#she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments#its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up#but who doesn't yknow#i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there#the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards#it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around#she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people#i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but#dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right.#a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all#that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment#the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are#always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home#and dungeon meshi gets that.#edit: cleaned it up a little
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so the thing about this is that she was twelve. come on now
#the point of her arranging all of these crazyass matches because she never really got to choose and is living vicariously thru her daughters#that still stands#i’m not sure if she could ever fully admit to herself that this wasn’t an active choice she really made but come on#asoiaf
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Actually I can't stop thinking about Tim gaining a bit of weight during her time as Persephone and it's killing me now
#she's been an immortal for so long she has no idea how she looked before the lunar war#she was 3-4 years younger and matured during that time despite the starvation#and she probably got a buzzcut when she was drafted but nobody kept up with hair regulations bc they couldn't see each other enough#for them to be enforced#After she first got mechanized the eyes were just one of the many parts of ger body she didn't recognize#and it competed in importance with the weight loss and aging and new scars and more#But when she sees herself at a healthy weight as Persephone bc she hasn't had a complete death in so long that she's managed to hold weight#she just cries because she thinks this is how she must have once looked#though her memory fails to give her any confirmation. she can only guess#she sees in the mirror a person who didn't feast on the corpses she could find#and she can pretend she actually Is Persephone- not Tim#that she's lived a happy olympian life and has never died and that she doesn't occasionally unwillingly salivate over brains in the acheron#and the worst part is she Knows this is temporary#her fantasy and joy is limited#limited until the day she doesn't throw a grenade far enough again or the day she annoys Ashes enough to set her on fire#she can't stay this way for the eternity she is so damned to#and once she does experience a full body reset it's an uphill climb to regain that weight again- if she manages to not die in that time#it's the inevitability of it all that really gets me#and also Ashes obviously thinks Tim looking healthier- well taken care of- is hot as fuck. tho they think Tim always looks hot as fuck#but they don't understand why she freezes when they run a hand along her chest now- unable to even feel her ribs unless they press down#or why she starts making flimsy excuses to leave whenever they offer to take her out on their arson runs
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MAN.
#bnha spoilers#a had no delusions abt her being alive before but saying it out right is differenttt#i just really liked himiko she was my favourite for many many reasons but mostly bc i loved how she reminded me of myself in a weird way#like in a cathartic way idk#she was also taught that her love was like a terrible unnatural evil thing#that should never be seen or expressed#and she never fully realized her capability to love until she finally let herself indulge in it#and thats the thing how she LET herself#and how she wanted to live her life exactly the way she wanted so bad that she didn't care that none of them would love her for it#because she wanted to be free ☹️#and the fact that even after all of that rejection and loathing she still found a place for herself where there was people#who LOVED her and and CARED about her and then eventually ochako who wanted to save her#and it still proves everyone else wrong about himiko#because himiko never had to change or hide those fundamental things about herself to be loved in the end#and i hate that she died#i really do#but her narration of her death scene really hit me bc she's RIGHT#she lived her life exactly the way she wanted to and never got chained down again#and she had people who knew everything she was and loved her not in spite of it#and she's a normal girl#and so am i#UGGGHHUUJHH anyways just wanted to talk i love that girl rip himiko
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
#spotatalk#i'm just gonna drop this in the queue I guess?#but I'm writing this on the last day of june so....#whenever this rolls around will be a jumpscare abd a half I guess?#I think honestly I coukd do a full breakdown of the Crew and why they're all expressions of me but like#quick summary is#Reset: Wants approval from people but mostly clings to the past. is afraid of losing his brother and acts on it to bring him back. i#<- I lack that conviction to do whatever you have to to get your way. i worry my brother and I have a weird gap between us we wont repair#Orchid: Uhhh woman. lots of pressure that she had at one time that's now no being pressed but she still tries to live up to it also.#<- I don't like the pressure of being a woman. also gifted-kid who cannot move past the pressures imposed to be 'perfect' and it's screwed#Stereo: Pulled into a situation he doesn't want to be in initially. it's bad for him but he likes the people so he decides to stay#<- I see the good in people. even when they hurt others around me. I was a bystander often and should've left the situations. paralelling.#Monochrome: Afraid. No purpose or preperation in life. soneone offers to guide him and he takes that offer because it's better than home.#<- Kinda self-explanitory but I've got little direction and feel lost a lot of the time. If I'm given a path I usually walk it no hesitation#and... for fun let's do some others!#Haphazard: Cleaning up after others since childhood. he's never really gotten a break and sees any sort of mess as an enemy#-> He's fixing rifts in universes I gotta patch relationships. there's so much conflict and I'm always so overwhelmed by it#Lost: He's got amnesia. no clue where he is. where he's from. who you are. who he is. he'll know when he gets there. he's sure.#-> I've been hsving minor issues with my memory for years. i coukd be forgetful but sometimes it just escapes me and that's spooky#Teddy: Isolated in her universe for years. she self-mutilated until she liked herself. when she finally met people she compulsively lied#-> Much more extreme version of how isolated I sonetines feel. hobbies can't replace human interaction but it's hard#oh and Ichor: God who loves mortals but cannot seem to find ones who will prove hin right for his trust and care#<- I've got a big heart. i express it often but the sentinent is scoffed off a lot. I get beat down about it and just keep moving forward#Pretender: Knows who he is. however the world doesn't like it much so he acts how they expect him to or isolates away#<- I still present femme when I'm nb/agender. i bend and break to people's perception of me. if I can't solve something I run.#okay I feel more insane than when ai started but these stupid skeletons have helped me through so many mental health problems it's only a#little bit funny 🙏
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stink monster appreciation post 💕💕
#personal#so about this little stinkies#she hid into herself for a few years after i got her back from my family#and she has never been particularly good at being A Cat/doint the things cats do to clean themselves#and she wasnt mine to start with (she was my sister's originally so she didnt really get As close with me esp cause she became mine-#-while i was in college so i wasnt really Home) but like over the last few years of having her her personality has not just come back out#but also has morphed into the most beastly stinky beast (affectionate) that ever lived#and all of this is to say: she wont let me pee alone anymore in the mornings. everyday no matter what the first time im in the bathroom+#+she runs to come pee with me. i swear she's holding it. its so obnoxious and also so cute#and she did it again today ofc and it made me a little irritated at first bc like she insists on weaving through my legs b4 going to her bo#(tickles my legs weird) but then i got emotional thinking about how much she's come out of her shell over the last few years#i love my stink monster so so much#bun.life
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Do u think Karkat and Jade share some sense of loneliness? With both of them not really being able to connect with other people for the first 13 years of their lives because of outsides forces (Being a mutant in Alternia and living in an island alone)
yea
i like to imagine they connect like that, just a small detail. its nice and really depressing, they turned out very differently.
though yes jades isolation is a bit more important (plot wise-ish) than karkats, but its still a very interesting parallel
With both of them not really being able to connect with other people for the first 13 years of their lives
i mean for karkat it was probably a nightmare, not being able to connect with anybody physically for years and just having to deal with yourself and just... with self loathing a part of it? yeah probably really lonely. though karkats life pre-sgrub is a bit more vague than jades, its kind of obvious that he didnt have any physical interactions (other than crabdad) due to the fact that he needed to be protected by well, alternias whole.. everything system. i think about karkats life pre-sgrub a lot, actually
and jade? loneliest girl on earth. she didnt really have anybody (except for her grandpa but .. You know. Dead. taxidermized. or after she was a toddler. i say 2 years old) and she was left on prospit wondering and the only time she was with another person was with a sleeping john in the other tower. and all the prospitians. but that was her main physical interactions (were not using bec because .. Dog. woof bark woof bark)
because of outsides forces (Being a mutant in Alternia and living in an island alone)
and thats the saddest part, it really isnt either of their faults for any form of isolation.
anyways sorry if i got anything incorrect or just kind of got things straight up wrong. its 1:20 am (as im currently re-vising) and i am too tired to correct myself
now i know this is more of a fully canon analysis. but i do want to give my opinions on how it would effect them after the game
using the fact in the credits that they do live together (with d*ve. why am i even censoring his name? because its funny) i think they would prefer to be close to each other. for karkat its more of the fact that i think he still would feel a bit sorry (not in the sense that he didnt feel all that sorry during the game when he was harassing jade, but i mean that the feeling still lingers from time to time) and would try to just stay near her to make sure shes alright
and jade would be near karkat because of the fact of their relationship during the game. i feel like after she did forgive him during the game she did get more curious. like the reactions he had with the passwords. probably just wanting to have someone around that was talking to her for so long and was bothering her while she was still alone, just the concept of someone who was bullying you for maybe.. MONTHS (i.e "CG: HI AGAIN, IDIOT.") (emphasis on again) .. YEARS?? (or on her part) is just.. near you. physically. it brings an awkwardness between them. from how they were isolated and bothering each other and now just... together ??? physically?? it probably is so strange to them . strange to me mostly but it is a strange concept in itself
but i digress this part, i just started rambling about it
#rganswer#its 12am i cant really put my mind to things im sorry#though i do think about how karkat made a secret in the meteor (alterniabound)#but then everyone dumped their shit into his room.. haha loser#but.. maybe im reading too into it but it could be seen as a form of coping (i do not want to use that word but it feels the most correct)#to just remind him of his life pre-sgrub#with how he bootlicked alternia? yeah he probably was taking it all in that he was just being reminded of how he just was stuck in his->#->hive to not get killed for being a mutant#i mean the fact it was 'to cope' feels like a bit too much of a read-in. he probably got in there just to calm down for a minute and get->#->back out#but jade? yeah she does not want to be alone i think thats obvious#yes she self entertains herself pre-sburb with well.. everything#she lives in the perfect place to be isolated#in your own little world to yourself#and a isolated island? its just like some classic fairytale#but instead of there being a prince you just kind of stay there#only communicating with some people online you've never seen#the best connections with humans#sad#isnt it??
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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i cant believe ive played world of warcraft for 20 years
#i should write all my warcraft oc lore into fanfics or something#let tarwas and larevasha live forever on AO3.com#i have a druid (larevasha) nelf and demon hunter (tarwas) nelf and they were gfs before the sundering#then they got separated in the chaos of the legion attacks and sundering itself and both thought the other was dead#before all that tho they were both druid trainees and larevasha was good at it but tarwas was total ass at being a druid#(tarwas was never able to shapeshift)#after the sundering larevasha fully dedicated herself to druidism and got really powerful#but she spent so much time in shapeshifted forms that she has lost a few marbles over time#she gives a bit of a Radagast the Brown vibe#while tarwas said fuck this to druidism and instead chose vengeance#still thinking about wtf she wouldve been upto between the sundering and illidan starting the illidari#but im pretty sure this is where her rocky training montage goes and she gains proficiency with martial weapons and gets angrier and angrier#then she jumps at the chance to become illidari and becomes the slayer (dh leader) while larevasha becomes archdruid#then they both meet at the pep talk circle khadgar gives before the tomb of sargeras raid#but they don't recognize eachother at first because it's been 10 thousand years and they thought the other was dead and theyve changed#they only realize partway thru the raid (i imagine the raid more like a darkest dungeon run where they take short camp breaks to rest)#they both freak the fuck out#queue drama during the raid and final couple boss fights#after the raid and in between all their duties leading their factions they try to make time to catch up#it gets worse before it gets better though and there is not much free time in between saving azeroth and invading what's left of argus#there is a short respite after legion before bfa though and they do a lot of catching up there#then sylvanis fucking burns down teldrassil and tarwas and larevasha and the rest of the nelves loose their collective shit#*sylvanas#all through bfa they remain close and start getting a little flirty again (keep in mind it's been 10k years)#they both go into shadowlands fully intending on supporting tyrande 100% btw#in shadowlands however the slow burn starts cranking up the heat and by the end of shadowlands they're gfs again#then in the few years of no world ending threats between shadowlands and dragonflight they basically get married#(i do still need to look into nelf culture around that but the gist is theyre partners forever)#dragonflight would mostly consist of them holding hands while beating the shit out of the primalists#and i havent played the war within yet but i imagine itll be similar
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opinions on helen of sparta being compared to prey animals? blink blink
*blink blinks back* Then immediately sits like this because of the question.
It's a good question that I'm happy to answer! It just makes me mad.... I sincerely hate the wording of "prey" being used to describe her.
SHE IS A VICTIM! THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE IS "PREY"!
I can...see how people in ancient times may have used that word and still meant it in how she is a victim... but modern-day English-speaking people calling her that??? (considering how in different languages the word "prey" could have different meanings.) I'll just say that as someone who has been "prey" herself at one point, I REALLY hate that word as a descriptor. Just say victim or survivor. 👍
Honestly to call ANY victim "prey" is so fucked up. "Prey" to me, feels like "it's meant to happen." "Prey" are part of the food chain and so that's what happens. And to compare that to abduction and SA? Almost as if "that's our place"? It also kind of implies something being "eaten" or killed... Helen SURVIVES. She's traumatized and definitely needs healing and support but it's not like she can't find joy or peace ever again. Prey just feels so fucking gross.
Also, if someone calls victims "prey", I hope they know that Moose, Elk, Boars, Bovine, ZEBRAS, etc. are technically "prey". And these are VERY aggressive animals while still being "prey" for some other animals. And also that doesn't mean that "Oh, they're powerful! Clearly they should've been able to stop it." That's victim blaming :P
She is a clever, determined, caring woman who was ripped from her home for YEARS because Paris was a dipshit who decided he needed the prettiest woman in the world despite already having a wife. He didn't care about the fact that Helen didn't want to be there and was already married. He is so selfish that he will not let her go back even when THOUSANDS have died in the war! EVEN HIS BROTHER HECTOR AND PRIAM DO NOT BLAME HER! Granted, we do not know if Aphrodite would have let him undo their deal of "I want the prettiest woman" if he DID end up feeling bad for Helen and he wished to let her go home (I doubt it based on his personality though).
"Oh, if she is so independent/strong, then why didn't she just kill Paris and leave?"
AGAIN! Victim blaming!!! First thing, people who ask that have media literacy that is piss on the poor. You also have no idea about the political implications that would have happened if she DID kill Paris. She literally cries about staying there and argues with Aphrodite about seeing Paris, only to get strongarmed by Aphrodite as, guess what? A GODDESS WILL ALWAYS OVERPOWER A DEMIGOD. (This isn't Percy Jackson where he "killed" Ares as a 12 year old (Percy, you were my childhood, but that's bullshit.))
Even confined in Troy, she ARGUED with APHRODITE about going to see Paris! She is not some meek woman who just does as she's told with no pushback! She argued with a GODDESSS! Very few survive doing that!!!
She's not "Prey to fate", she's a "VICTIM of Fate".
#Thank you for the ask anon!!! :D It's a very fun question! I just really don't like the word of 'prey' being used to describe her.#...#Yes. there's poetic shit with writing. but if I heard someone say 'Helen is prey to Paris' I would be miffed and think that person's stupid#Prey just feels like 'one and done. You'll be a victim from now on and nothing else. You have no life after this.'#I mean you can probably say that if you simply mean that Paris is an abuser I guess. but...idk homies. I just really hate Helen being calle#that you know?#as if she could never be anything but prey in a way. as if she herself has never been the one pulling the strings or the trickster#Helen isn't a rabbit in an eagle's talons about to be eaten. She was a PRISONER. Who still lives and thrives afterward.#idk I'm probably looking too far into the word 'prey' and what it means to ME as an animal lover and survivor but it just feels#really bad to me. like wrinkling my nose and thinking 'out of all the words out there. that's the one you use?'#*sighs*#probably got quite fired up about this :P#ask#anon#yes I plan to write Helen as a big buff cheeto puff but again. she could never fight a goddess no matter how strong!! she's Mortal!#end of story!! I just want to write her that way as A.) it's fun. B.) Sparta upbringing.#(I got SUPER into ancient athletes stuff. (look up Pankration. it's so cool) and since I really love writing women. I just...like it :D#And no. everybody is strong in their own way even if they don't physically fight. I have plenty of women who are not fighters#but still have their own strengths and personalities and silliness#Leda actually doesn't like the 'exercising lifestyle of Sparta'. Ctimine loves running but that's it. Anticlea is the one who taught#Odysseus how to carve wood and is a 'trickster' but she's not really into athletic stuff. (she actually has a heart condition later on)#there's more too it but...tags are already long as hell#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#kind of#If Helen is prey then she is “prey” like those clever mother birds who pretend to be injured to get predators away from their nest.#*shrieks into a pillow* I'm fine now :D#essay
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Greenstem + a familiar face
Progress gif under the cut!
#art#oc art#landscape#analog#i never posted my analog paintings here!!! so oops#i fucking LOVE painting III at my college#i got to choose what i wanted to do for the semester#so i just chose to do locations for some oc lore!!#anyways#this is greenstem- clematis' home#its a flower forest with giant flowers acting as trees#i hope thats obvious enough in the painting#but basically clematis has been guarding this place for nearly her entire life#and theres also a sorta neverland quality to the location and clem herself bc she didnt really grow up during like#80% of the time she spent living there#but ye shes hanging there in the background#lil fella#descarn
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"We need a mean female character! Anyway, Katara was really annoying for bringing up her mom's death every 5 seconds."
#i really do like people who bring up characters a lot you could barely handle#like katara....#the joke about katara constantly bringing up her mother got real old real quick#katara is a 14 year old girl who's never known peace her entire life#and has to live with the fact that her mother sacrificed herself to save katara#and katara couldn't have been older than like 7 when it happened#then her dad left leaving both her and sokka in charge of basically their entire village#katara was very patient and very nice#she only really lost her shit in very VERY understandable circumstances
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its 12am for me and i have many thoughts about this au where i just traumatise two older sibling sonic characters (and make metal a transgirl dating amy)
#tails and sonics thing takes place before metal is released#so like pretty early on though sonic does have some fame in the public eye#kinda does go down the drain when eggman dies and sonic never audibly says it was tails so he just kinda hides out#such an event would make it really easy for another robotnik to take control without a hero going around to stop her#i feel like maria in this universe would do research on other universes and find the usual one where she dies and shadow lives#where she finds out that eggman living and sonic being around made shadow be released from the cryofreezer the day before maria did#because she put herself in the day after she put shadow in there for 50 years both and she didnt realise that was the max#idk anything about that science but i have the suspicion that 50 years in there might not be healthy#especially since shadow is the one who got shot in this universe and never got to heal it fully before sleeping#i gotta sleep probably im a tired little guy rn
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light and misa's "relationship" is rlly tragic and fucked but also in an isolated state its really fucking funny. ESPECIALLY if you consider them both to be arospec like i do
#misa is like ''oh light my wonderful boyfriend~!! we need to go on a date we haven't been on one in so long!''#(i know that when you're dating you're supposed to go on dates. so we have to go on a date every so often to assure me that i'm getting a#good grade in Having a Boyfriend something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve)#and then light is like (internally) 'i would literally rather kill myself than spend time with her but i need her for my purposes so i have#to appease her' (externally) ''ok sure i guess misa''#and then they go to a restaurant and misa waits for him to kiss her the whole night (she does not attempt to herself)#meanwhile light just sits there and goes nonverbal for long extended periods of time while he monologues in his head about how to appear#like a normal (straight) human being (spoiler: he's really bad at this)#and every so often he'll be like ''you look nice. this food is good. other boring pleasantries'' while glaring as if he's poisoned her food#THEY LIVED LIKE THIS FOR 4 YEARS.#again. awful. but also kind of fucking funny. gay aroace guy and aroace girl going through the motions of a heterosexual relationship for 4#whole years. they hate each other for sure dawg ToT obvs misa to a lesser extent but i think she definitely had a lot subconscious hate for#light. that only got stronger the longer things went on#also during this time they definitely had sex a Single Time because they got to a point where misa was like we've been dating for like#2 years normal couples usually sleep together way before then...... and light was like. LOUD SIGH. ok#it was terrible. neither of them enjoyed it and they never spoke of it again#gee wonder why that was (holding the ace spectrum behind my back)#anyways they're so awful im obsessed w them. awful apart and even WORSE together. it's beautiful#then you throw L in this mix and it gets even funnier and MORE awful#(he's bi aroace to me btw. for the record)#serena.txt#death note posting
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