#she put it better than i could
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*catboys ur shounen protag*
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#boss shes drawing shirtless catboys.............#listen i just bought the mewji plush ive been in a Mood ok#u all can forgive me im sure#i rly liked the original mewji sketch that i did last night but fr some reason when i went to clean it i could not get th expression??#it just looked so off and kind of uncanny and not like yuuji at all#so i scapped it :) hes less scrunchy faced now#also. gomenyasai i am still guilty of doubling up on human/cat ears....#espECIALLY with a haircut like yuujis it is beyond me how to omit them#if anyone can make it work u r a better artist than i#anyway im so happy the trend of like. putting ur ref pic next to the finished piece exists#adds a lil layer of visual interest i think !!!#plus i for one think its neat seeing what other ppl use fr ref#i realized while drawing this tht its been a minute since my last boy without a shirt on#every time i get to draw torso muscles i am like i shld do this more often !!! and then i never do#bc the only thing i like more than rendering muscles is a cute fit GHJFJHFGSHg#anyway itadori mewji ladies and gays enjoy <3#i have ! places 2 b !#'why were u late' . uh .
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I personally subscribe to the idea that Adventurer Zenos shows his affection and appreciation for his peers in very odd ways (like yoinking the Students' taxes and dealing with their expenses and maybe also paying for some of their expenses but shhh).
#ffxiv#sketch#fan art#zenos yae galvus#g'raha tia#krile mayer baldesion#adventurer zenos#I like the thought that krile and zenos go from mutual ignoring/dislike to krile and tataru having to hunt zenos down#because after he starts caring about the students and scions he would purposely keep away from krile knowing that she could#potentially hear how he's feeling- and I write Adven!Zenos as starting to do better but I dont imagine his idle thoughts are there yet#I imagine the groups going from “we put up with him because we're trying to keep him from making the same mistakes again” to#“wow he's actually surprisingly chill and helpful” (other than- well- the obvious)#local former prince putting in the effort + and being given a proper chance? he gets to thrive a bit. as a treat#maybe ill also work a bit on the concept that he still really doesnt know what fully drives him and makes him happy#but he at least starts getting a bit of enjoyment out of seeing the people he cares for happy#(so much so he'll make himself suffer through stacks of paperwork)
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RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.
I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.
With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.
I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.
A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.
I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.
But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.
Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.
#i think the idea that Curly did nothing is both true and also not for he did something but it was nothing in the bigger picture for Anya#he put himself between her and Jimmy but that just prolongs the ineviabiliy of their interactions when he cant hence the seen where she tol#Jimmy. He thought he was helping by being honest but it just made Jimmy panic harder and flip on him because Jimmy doesnt plan like Curly o#anyone else does for that matter hes so short term. Curly also is in a way but its also hes concerned with the long term to far away#either way he did nothing for Anya directly which is the problem as hes not direct in social situations while Jimmy is overly direct to put#it lightly. I think the irony is more so in the fact that he understand the dead pixel now and can't choose not to see it. rather than any#thing with Jimmy choosing to do this. It's like the point is he has to kinda be the person he was to Jimmy but to deserving people and#realizing how bad their dyanmic was and not to fall into the same placating behaviors and maybe prioritize his choices because in a way Jim#already took away his choice by doing literally anything he did in the story because the only choice would have been to punish Jimmy atp bu#hoped he could find a better option backfired then and it still backfired now#ask#enigminho#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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New York times discovers a new generation is creating its own slang terms and is confused by something that has happened continually throughout the course of human history.
#when I was in High School#if anyone tried to pull the#'our music meant something it's all noise and gibberish now' nonsense#on me I would ask them if they ever found the person that put#the “bop” in the “bop she bop she bop” so#they could shake his hand#generally got quiet after that#let the kids have their fun#and ask politely if you're confused#works better than#being a jackass
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after watching ATLA I got curious about whether my constantly negatively comparing its gender politics to the (imo superior) 2003 Teen Titans animated series had any merit or what, so I sat down to watch TT properly for the first time in ~2 decades, prepared for the worst
but you know what literally THE SECOND EPISODE centers one of the female leads and her complex relationship with her sister and features her love interest comforting and supporting her as she works through her insecurities and finally confronts said sister so WHAT THE FUCK WAS ATLA'S EXCUSE FOR ALL OF THAT
#deerchatter#people r always like buhhh atla was feminist for its time NO IT WASN'T LOL#katara and starfire are nice reference points for each series bc they're both supposed to be caring and emotional but also fierce#but while katara is saddled with supporting other characters' arcs and being her love interest's emotional punching bag 90% of the time#starfire's relationships have equal give and take! she's sweet and caring so everyone wants to care for her in turn!#the narrative treats her as interesting and complex and strong and vulnerable right out the gate!#there are many other good examples of similar female characters treated well in other series before ATLA#but TT is the one i always go to bc it came out just a couple years before and is the same genre + had the same demographic#also btw yeah i skipped over commenting on LOK much. i feel like anything i could say on it has already been said better by someone else#perhaps except i still hold the character writing is MUCH better than ATLA's. like it's not GOOD but it's BETTER#the plotting is clumsy but i honestly prefer it over ATLA just bc korra's so loveable and by contrast i want to put aang in a paper shredder
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coming out of playing a farm sim for 20 hours straight like does anyone want to see my pink chicken named pudding
#taylor.txt#taylor plays fom#im very proud of her shes beautiful#sometimes i forget how actually brutal the adhd hyperfixation can be#like i love the game but i am not enjoying myself LMAO my wrists hurt. i didnt finish my chores#i did eat two meals today though so better than it could have been but like holy fuck man. this is not fun#thankfully work starting on monday will put my brain back in order fjskfnsfnd
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Alastor as a "Gift from God" AU part 2
I'll have you know it is very difficult to write from the POV of God so you get Roo instead. I had to look up bible verses for this.
PART 1 here.
-------------------
On the day of the first extermination cleanse.
When the first sinner was slain, Roo felt the soul attempt to rise. A fruitless endeavor, for their sinful deeds in life and in death ensured her roots bound the severed pieces of the soul to her.
Foolish angels, in culling the herd and stifling even the thought of rebellion, they only made her stronger. Roo tightened her vines around the soul and attempted to drag it down, down through the 7 rings, and to her.
Attempted, because before she even got past the Pride Ring, a stronger force yanked the soul upwards. Enraged and in disbelief she tightened her hold around the other souls being slaughtered by the dozens, but each and every time they were ripped from her grasp.
At the end of the day, when the exorcists were flying up and away from the slaughter, the portal to Heaven opened and Roo latched onto the connection and demanded an explanation.
"Have you gone back on your word?" her tone was taunting but her desperation and anger festered, "These souls are mine. Their punishment is meant to be eternal!"
Roo did not expect a response, God had not spoken to her since The Beginning, and God had no foothold in hell - usually. Today, apparently, was an exception.
God spoke to her, "My creations all return unto me in The End regardless. You know I cannot bare to be separated forever."
Roo did not buy this, "What ever happened to 'Depart from me, you who are cursed' was that not written?"
"Said by a King, not I." God refuted.
"But within your holy text." Roo sniped, "You reward their sin, their rejection of you, by accepting them back with open arms?"
"If you think that is what will happen to those who reject me twice, you know me not at all." And perversely, Roo felt relieved at this admission. "The righteous will have eternal life, the sinful - upon second death - nothing."
"And keeping them from me was merely a happy coincidence?" Roo felt emboldened, God must see her as a bigger threat than she thought, "To twist the meaning of your eternal punishment to exclude me, why I'd almost call that a quality worthy of a demon."
The portal, which had only been open seconds, pulsed with the force of God's anger.
Roo laughed. "You fear me enough to risk your angels falling into my grasp once again. Do you think this latest stunt of yours will keep me weak forever?"
"My angels have learned to evade you since then."
"Careful there." Roo feigned concern, "Anymore hubris and I'll have to save you a seat in Pride. I could put you next to your favorite child, wouldn't that be nice?"
God ignored the taunt, "I know your roots grow stronger on Earth. More fall to you everyday. Faster than even my best angels can catch them."
Roo smiled at the admission. To have her work acknowledged by the being who created everything, everything that would someday be corrupted and belong wholly to her.
God continued, "It is a testament to your strength that The End may be sooner than I thought."
Roo stopped cold. Her strength came from corrupting the creations of God, but if there was nothing to corrupt...
Ah. She thought. Nothing truly is an eternal punishment.
"Unless," God hedged. "We come to an arrangement?"
Suddenly the reason for God's desire to converse with her made sense. Here she was, weakened from the loss of over a hundred damned souls, from an event that would become a yearly occurrence. Here God was, with the threat of The End poised upon their fingertips, attempting to force her compliance.
And it was working.
But God had shown their hand too early, "How utterly demonic of you! You want to compromise with me? To reason with me?" She used her roots to trip a flailing exorcist trying to remove its spear from a corpse just because, "What can you offer me?"
"I will not hasten The End before its time." God stated, as if the threat of nothing was enough now that she knew God wanted something from her that they could not get themselves.
"You do not want to destroy everything you've created; you want it even less than I do. What is it you desire?"
The last few exorcists were getting ready to return via the portal, their clothes splatted in shade of red and an abundance of gore. They had yet to develop a tolerance to the violence they were perpetuating. Roo knew, just as God did, that many of the angels after slaughtering their first few sinners, had ripped their helmet off and vomited in disgust and despair.
Roo could feel their shock, their inner turmoil, their sense of righteousness, their loyalty to heaven. With time, and more exterminations cleanses, they would learn to enjoy the bloodshed. Or they would break. Such was the way of war.
"I wish to create a gift for Lucifer," God began, "A gift that will challenge him, embolden him, and remain by his side."
Lucifer! Why did it always come back to him? Around them, the corpses of the damned littered her domain never to rise again, God's angels grappled with the weight of their heavenly duty, and her influence weakened for the first time in decades. And yet it was Lucifer that made God lower themselves to speak with her!
Roo reigned in her rage, "And what does that have to do with me?"
"I am creating something unlike anything I've ever created before." God directed her attention back to the weak angel who'd finally pulled their spear from a corpse, "Immune to angelic destruction. Stronger than a thousand sinners, with the potential to stand against my Archangels, capable of vengeance and retribution."
Roo salivated. "And you're sending it here." Roo let the last of the shattered souls in her grasp go, not even paying attention as it shot upwards and away. "You'd create such a thing and put in my hands the instrument of your demise?"
"Which is why I appear before you. You know sin more intimately than I. So I implore you to cast off a piece of yourself for this gift and I shall do the same."
"And what is this gift?" The exorcist was attempting to clean the gore from the spear and failing. "And why should I give you anymore of myself when you've already taken so much?"
"A human soul."
"You intend to create a soul destined to hell before its first sin and gift it to the being who prizes free will above all else. Do you imagine he will thank you?" Roo didn't care about Lucifer's feelings regarding this gift, she couldn't wait to see the fallout actually, but she couldn't help but point out the obvious.
"No," God said, "he will not. As for you, this soul will bring a new age upon your realm. They will be The Avenger of the worthy. And a nightmare to everyone else."
"Do not repay anyone evil for evil," Roo quoted. "Is that why you need me? You want to avoid going against your own words, so you seek to blame me instead."
She did not give God time to respond, "But you still haven't told me what I gain. What do I care for this promised 'new age' or so-called Avenger when I am still trapped?"
"And that is my bargain," God attempted to comfort one of the angels weeping over a small sinner's corpse but their touch fell short. Seems they did not have power over anything in her realm but exorcised souls, she mused.
"With a piece of us both, this soul will have a direct link to us in a way no fully mortal being has before."
Roo would've gasped if she was capable of breathing, "Speak plainly!"
"They could free you."
"What's the catch? Why would you give them this power?" She could hardly believe it. It was too good to be true.
"You have the chance to be free. But you must convince this soul to do so of their own free will, knowing fully the consequences of your freedom." Roo dismissed this, she was The Root of Sin for a reason, and this soul was destined for her realm anyway.
"You are forbidden from interfering with their life before hell. And you must find this soul yourself once they fall."
A minor setback, but the call of freedom was strong. Still, she was not so blinded by this opportunity that she wouldn't ask, "And what, do you, The Almighty God, gain from this bargain?"
"A hellborn will become your greatest adversary, they will attempt to redeem sinners and remove them from your grasp." The portal to Heaven began to close.
"And should they succeed, your chance to convince The Avenger will begin to close. And you will never know freedom."
"A time limit!" She should've known they wouldn't play fair, "How long?"
They turned her attention to the newly built Tower in the center of the Pentagram. The timer below flipped through the numbers at record speed until it hit 365. "Seven full moons after the clock strikes zero for the last time. Do we have an agreement?"
God's voice was strong as ever, but the portal was now only the size of a quarter. Roo knew manipulation and this reeked of it, how clever of God to wait until the last moment to share all the details when she had so little time to think of it.
"When in hell, you use the proper term." Roo pretended to scold them. She reached out to the fading tendrils of God and sunk her thorns in as deep into the connection as she could.
"We have a deal."
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#alastor gift from god au#hazbin god#hazbin roo#Sorry no alastor yet#I got caught up in the backstory#because I had to figure out a reason God would even consider doing this#I also had to figure out why God allowed Sera to keep doing the exterminations#God is very manipulative and Roo is not afraid to point it out#there's another reason God gave this specific time limit#It ensures that Roo will actively encourage the Exterminations to keep happening despite how much power she loses from it#As long as the clock never reaches zero for the last time she will have eternity to convince Alastor#A bit of yandere! God slipped in with the whole 'No one can stay away from me forever. I'll kill everyone first'#God doesn't like the pain the exterminations cause but they do like yoinking souls away from Roo#Roo: :P sweet a shattered soul to feed me-#God: YEET#Roo: My Souls!! D:<#Also Roo is not a reliable narrator#God does not like having angels kill for heaven but it's the only way to keep Roo weak#for now >:)#notice how God answers Roo without actually answering her#and plays up the connection Alastor will have to Roo and how it could free her rather than trap her further#And scurts around the fact that Alastor will have the same connection to them#don't worry though cause Roo is gonna realize that last bit eventually#Neither God or Roo want The End and that is why they both agree to this#It's a risk to them both but it's better than nothing#Sure God put in a lot of caveats but Roo if given an inch will make an apple tree and God knows that
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"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"
What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕
#some incredibly self-indulgent fluff for my own sake SKJDFSNDFS#Morty was having one of Those days where the weight of his responsibilities as leader and expectations as someone meant to bring back Ho-Oh#-felt a little too heavy to handle (more so than usual)#luckily his best friends (and mayhaps crush of nearly an entire decade) are here to take a stand against his low mood 🤼#I've been having brainrot of Whitney's dynamics with these two alrighttttt they all deserve to be silly with each other#best wingman award goes to this girlie for putting up with these two's mutual pining antics for years sdkfjskjdfh#the way I see it Morty and Whitney were besties way back before they had even become leaders (with Morty being the older between them)#there were definitely rumors going around between their towns about how they're an item#when the reality is that Whitney's more focused on winning the affections of the other cute girls she hangs out with#while Morty's a repressed gay lad burdened with religious guilt SDJFHUISJDNFS /LH /LH#the second Whitney caught wind of Morty actually developing a crush on someone you just Know she was on his ass Immediately#asking about aaall the details--who he is- what he does- how he dresses- if he could even conceivably pass her standards of how a--#--fitting partner for her best friend's meant to be#to which an incredibly exasperated Morty struggles to answer because Eusine is just beyond his comprehension /affectionate#when Whitney does eventually get to meet him in person the first time she most certainly takes a jab at his fashion sense SDKJFSDFNS#BUT they do end up getting along a lot better than Morty braced for- which was a huge relief to him#it soon reaches that point where Eusine's secretly asking her for details on the things Morty likes and how to possibly impress him#all the while Morty's asking her for advice on how he could cope with his feelings when he's still unsure on whether they'd be requited#Whitney finds the whole ordeal simultaneously very funny and perhaps one of the most frustrating things imaginable SDKJFSKDNFS#enough of me yapping thouuughhhhhh I should save that for its own post 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️#pokemon tickle#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#gym leader whitney#whitney pokemon#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#eusine#lee!morty#ler!eusine
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Physically I'm here but mentally I'm clawing the eyes out of everyone who talks crap about their children on the internet and posts them in their most vulnerable moments for clout
#i just saw a video of a like eleven or twelve year old girl approach her mom's car when she got home from work and without even saying hello#to her kid she yelled at her to go inside so she could talk to her husband first and then shouted at the kid when she said her dad put her#through hell that day. is she probably overreacting bc shes a kid and she doesnt have get emotional regulation yet? absolutely. but also?#as the kid who knew that if i didnt get to my mom with my side of things first that my dad would twist things to make himself look like the#victim in a situation i promise you that baby girl isnt feeling heard and that would be sucky but normal on its own. the type of thing#families work through together yknow? but to post that on the internet??? to be recording when you come home knoeing there are problems in#your house and wanting to put online forever a moment in time where there are really strained relationships among members of your family??#especially when it's the relationship btwn your husband and your child??? nope. im sorry. uh uh.#that kid deserves better than that. your husband deserves better than that. everyone deserves better than to have their really vulnerable#moments shared on the internet with strangers#like. i think about how i felt as a kid when i found out my parents had told a relative something i considered private. how embarrassed and#betrayed i felt. the thought that EVERYONE would see that instead of just my dad's relatives or w/e?#bby girl im incandescent with rage#anyway#lilac rambles
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Jazz's little. Her parents are super cool. They're ghost hunters! It sounds like something from a movie about future and scientists and supernatural beings and cool-looking tech. They have cool-looking tech at home. It's even cooler than tech in the movies.
Jazz also has a little brother. He's stupid but he's hers, and she will protect him from anything. Her brother is very small, he needs someone to protect him and teach him about the world.
She knows about the world. She understands their parents much better than him, and she can tell her brother when they shouldn't be distracted. She knows when they're upset and irritable, and she knows when they're too excited and being near them is dangerous because of all the inventions.
Jazz does a very good job keeping her little brother safe.
---
Jazz goes to school. Her teachers say that she's very smart, the best student in class, and very mature. Her parents are proud of her - when she manages to distract them from ghosts. Her brother is still kinda stupid and doesn't know how to properly fight food, but she's always there to protect him, because that's what older sisters do.
Her classmates seem to think that she's weird though. Some of them say mean things and call her a teacher's pet and a show-off. Jazz isn't sure why they think so because she's always trying to be friendly but maybe she's doing something wrong. She goes to the school library and finds a book about people and their communication.
It's a very interesting book.
---
Jazz is almost a teen. She's gotten better at communicating with people. The school library ran out of psychology books, and Jazz now has to go to the city library but that's fine. Human brain fascinates her.
She's been feeling like something is wrong about her though. She even thought that she was going crazy for a little bit. That probably wasn't true because she didn't match any symptoms but she was still worried.
Someone told her that being so good at lying and faking face expressions is not okay. That's probably not true, Jazz is pretty sure almost everyone can do that. Or maybe she's just being a prodigy again. It's a very good thing to be able to do after all. She can hide her emotions from her family when she's feeling sad. She wouldn't want to worry them, would she?
She'll have to research it.
---
Jazz is a teen. She now knows that her parents aren't actually that good. It's something that was really hard to accept but it did explain everything. Her parents are kinda bad at being parents, and they also don't really listen when she tries to explain it to them.
It's okay. She's almost an adult and Danny has her. She can take care of herself and her brother.
She learns everything she can about being a parent and a therapist and tries to use her knowledge. It's hard, but she's a Fenton, which means that she's very smart and determined. She pushes through, and trains on her classmates and herself.
In the evening she writes about her feelings in a journal. It's very important to be aware of her feelings because that's the first step to dealing with them.
She's experiencing sadness. And anger, actually, even though she doesn't like to admit that.
She writes "this family is a fucking mess" in her journal and then covers the paper with ink until the sentence is absolutely unreadable.
---
Jazz is sixteen, and her stupid parents opened the stupid portal, which means that they're even worse than usual. It's pretty much okay when they're just stuck in their stupid lab, making some stupid weapons. It's not that okay when they're out of the stupid lab, because they get their stupid inventions all over the stupid house, and stupid food comes to life, and she has to protect Danny from both their stupid weapons and stupid hotdogs, and oh god everything is so stupid.
She's experiencing anger.
She's also acting perfectly calm and almost cheerfully.
Jazz hates how perfect her fake smile is in the mirror.
---
Jazz is seventeen. She wants to put her headphones on and listen to some loud music. Jazz can't do that, because she gets anxious if she can't hear what's happening around her. She needs to be fully aware of her surroundings because she needs to be able to protect herself and her brother if weapons against ghosts become weapons against children again.
She thinks that it's not okay.
The house smells of ectoplasm, so she'll be extra careful when opening the fridge.
She thinks that she shouldn't know how ectoplasm smells.
Jazz should probably also warn Danny: her little brother's gotten better at fighting food but doesn't notice the smell of ectoplasm. Funny, considering his ghost sense.
Funny, considering that her brother is a half-ghost.
That her brother died.
That she failed at protecting him after all.
Jazz stops breathing to prevent herself from crying, and doesn't need oxygen for a few minutes too long.
Maybe she failed at protecting herself too.
---
Jazz is turning eighteen next month. Her parents are all of a sudden more attentive and caring, as if that can change their almost-absence during her whole life. She doesn't like their attention because she doesn't know how to deal with it. She doesn't even really think of them as parents anymore.
She thinks of them as a threat.
Once she's eighteen, she's gonna try to move out, and she's going to take Danny with her because it's not safe to leave him here. Maybe after she gets a good job and saves some money, she'll even get into therapy.
Jazz thinks that she needs therapy.
She's been having Bad Thoughts lately, and she doesn't write them down in her journal. Jazz stopped writing anything in there ever since she found out that Danny is a ghost. She just couldn't risk anyone finding that journal.
Jazz isn't sure if she should call those Bad Thoughts intrusive. They scare her, and they're Bad, but it could be just her normal thought process.
It's still definitely not normal.
---
Jazz is eighteen. Her parents are very excited, whispering to each other about how they found a perfect present for her, some surprise that she's gonna love.
She doesn't care.
Her little brother is late from school, and it's weird, because he was also super excited about giving her his present.
She's worried.
Her parents brush off her concern, say that Danny probably just got distracted talking with his friends. They don't listen when she says that Danny wouldn't get distracted like that on her birthday because he's not them, he actually cares about her, he doesn't forget her birthdays, and something has to be wrong for him to be that late.
They don't listen to her at all.
She's angry.
Her parents are excited and talk loudly about how they wanted to find a perfect gift for their favourite daughter, and how they managed to do it because they love her so much. She hates when they're excited. It only leads to problems.
They bring her to the lab because of course they do, why would they make a gift that is normal and isn't kept in the lab, right? They usher her in, so obviously proud of themselves.
She hates them.
And she hates them much, much more the next second, because the gift is her little brother in his ghost form, strapped to a table, unconscious and injured, and the smell of ectoplasm is strong in the lab because of his green blood dripping on the floor.
There's a cold part of her that analyses her feelings and tells her what emotions she's experiencing, and that part is very aware of thick black smoke of wrath twirling and twisting under her skin. It's suffocating, and she stops breathing as it invisibly fills her lungs, scared of letting it out.
There's a perfectly fake part of her that keeps the smile on her face as her parents gush about how hard it was to catch the ecto-scum, and what they can do to it - together with Jazz because they wanted to share this with their amazing daughter.
Jazz is black smoke of rage under perfect glass of calmness when she grabs Fenton anti-creep stick. The smile she learned to fake under any circumstances doesn't falter when Jazz brings the baseball bat down on her father's head. It grows a little bit wider when she hits her mother, because Jazz learned to smile brighter when she's hurt or sad or scared or angry - experiencing any "bad" emotion actually.
Jazz is angry when she grabs her weapon.
Jazz is furious when she kills her parents.
Jazz is worried when she checks her brother's wounds.
Jazz feels nothing when she rigs the portal to blow, walks out of the house and presses the button.
She is her parents' genius daughter after all, and she did listen when they were telling her about their inventions. Maybe it would have taken longer to do, but she had Bad Thoughts, and they probably weren't just intrusive after all, because she did what they told her and made it very easy to make a bomb out of a portal. Just in case. Her parents were a threat, and Jazz was smart enough to prepare to dealing with threats, and she was smart enough to make it look like the threats dealt with themselves.
She really hoped she wouldn't have to use that button though.
---
Jazz is nineteen. Her sort-of-friends at uni offer to go to a restaurant, and she tells them that she doesn't celebrate her birthdays. There's a noise of all of them saying that maybe she should try, noise that she really should have expected, because humans are always so excited about any holidays, it's hard for them to understand that someone might not like them. It's not hard to stop that noise though. They shut up very quickly when Jazz says that she had "a very traumatic event" on her birthday.
Good. She doesn't like loud people.
Jazz goes home to her little brother. He's sad because his parents died in an awful explosion a year ago. He's still trying to smile because it's also her birthday, and Jazz is very happy that he's bad at faking a smile.
It means that he won't end up like her.
Jazz hugs her little brother, and he gives her a little present that she adores, and then they sit in silence and eat some takeout. It's very nice.
She never tells Danny that their parents died before the explosion, and that the explosion wasn't an accident, and that their ghosts did form after that because of all the ecto-contamination they had, but she made sure this wouldn't become a problem. She never tells him what she's done, because that would hurt her little brother, and she would never let anything hurt him.
Jazz will protect her little brother from anything.
#I was feeling kinda upset yesterday#and decided to make it everyone's problem#this just clawed its way out and why not put it on tumblr#it's not like many people will see it#I love when a mix of “bad parents” AU with “protective Jazz” AU turns into “Jazz kills her parents” AU#I've seen a few stories with this twist and apparently it wasn't enough for my brain#Jazz deserves to go a little crazy#also yes Jazz is liminal here because of the ecto-contamination#and she found where the ghosts of Fentons were starting to form and destroyed them#killed them twice#double double kill#protective murderous Jazz my love#make her brother upset and she will make sure you're gone *forever*#if it's not clear: the “Bad Thoughts” was her thinking “maybe I should kill my parents before they kill my brother”#and then she went and did something with the portal so that it would be one added detail and a press of a button away from exploding#in case she needs to run away from home with Danny and kill their parents#she didn't know if she would be able to kill them with her hands and not from away because it's hard both physically and psychologically#but she couldn't risk them doing something to Danny#and it was easier than she thought it would be#I've been thinking a lot about how Jazz could get interested in psychology because of her own problems#and how she definitely hides her emotions#if you see any mistakes please tell me because this is also kinda my way of learning English better#danny phantom#tw: murder#tw: death#tw: neglect#this is my first time doing this so please tell me what warnings I forgot and I will add them
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I have unintentionally developed this whole post-Vol 2/pre-flashpoint timeline for Booster Gold and his little time travel family. There are three major components:
Rip Hunter is not around anymore. He’s not dead, obviously, but it’s reached a point in their personal timelines where they’re meant to separate. Rip can’t mentor the younger version of his dad forever nor should he. Booster has learned everything he needs to know from Rip, and now it’s time to part ways and make their own choices without the future influencing them. While Booster does occasionally come across younger and less experienced versions of Rip Hunter, all future Rips have effectively disappeared. Now separated, Booster sets up his own base elsewhere.
Booster and Michelle raise Rani in Neo-Gotham. Specifically the early 22nd century. This is Neo-Gotham at the end of Terry’s Batman career. It is more or less implied that sometime in the 22nd century, a nuclear war breaks out and gives way to the next dark ages. You can’t leave traces/ripples if they’re wiped from existence. Booster is still active in the 21st century by virtue of being an established hero there, but once keeping up appearances is over, he returns to the 22nd. Michelle stays in the 22nd century and just lives her life there.
Booster’s mystery future wife is Trixie Collins. After reuniting at some nebulous future date and going through a whole crisis together, Trixie can’t go back to her (unfulfilling) life, so Booster moves her to the 22nd century. At some point, she and Booster decide to act on the chemistry from their early years, and Rip is unintentionally conceived. Booster decides to retire from the 21st century hero scene, and they get married. But pretty early on, they realize that they’re not really romantically interested in each other. It’s partly acknowledgement of comphet society and that they’re both decidedly on the far side of the Kinsey Scale and also Booster is more or less too traumatized to truly emotionally connect to another person anymore. Booster and Trixie are still on good terms, so they stay married (and eventually come to consider each other best friends). And by virtue of being married, Trixie ends up getting more involved in Booster’s time cop thing and starts handling his logistics. They make a great team.
So from here, my brain came up with the following scenario:
Rani wants to become a superhero.
Rani-centric story idea under the cut. This one really got away from me.
The 22nd century is absolutely not a good time to get into heroics, and Rani knows that. That’s exactly why Booster chose it.
Rani has her own super power set, but it's not combat oriented. But there is this desire baked into her soul, so she takes a page (a whole chapter, really) from Booster Gold’s book. She steals a power suit and a time sphere and… doesn’t quite succeed as planned.
Instead of 1990s Metropolis, Rani finds herself in mid-21st century Gotham, the height of the legacy generation of heroes. Much to Rani's annoyance, Booster asked Nightwing and a not-quite-yet-retired Batman to keep an eye on her. It's mostly to prevent anyone else from solidly putting together that "Gold Star" is the infamous Booster Gold's daughter. Having the Bats' backing also means Rani isn't just plopped into the world with no legal records or emergency contacts.
Rani's story is mostly hijinks and heroics.
She's a D-list hero who frequently finds herself teaming up with other heroes, but she struggles to connect with any teams.
She keeps running into Legionnaires investigating some sort of intricate time travel plot and finds herself fighting alongside them to save the world. Unlike the 21st century heroes, Rani does connect with the 31st century heroes.
Sometimes, Rani also gets caught up in the Carter family business and gets swept away on a few time traveling adventurers with characters like Gold Beetle, a younger Rip Hunter (and Jack Soo), and even her baby brother, Junior.
In her downtime, Rani works part-time and does a few odd jobs here and there. Her saving grace is that she doesn't have to pay rent since she "inherited" Booster's townhouse.
Specific plot points include:
Booster's old JLI teammates immediately recognizing that Rani is Booster's daughter. They are equal parts glad that he's out there somewhere just living well instead of dead in a ditch, forgotten, and also hurt that Booster never introduced his family to them and that they had to find out from his teenage daughter.
In Time Masters: Vanishing Point #5, Booster warps their home to the end of time in order to lose the time assassins that had been chasing them. Time pirates also got to Rani in order to get the location of Vanishing Point from her, but she doesn't know it since Booster (with Trixie and Junior) abandoned the 22nd century shortly after Rani left. While the Carters frequently visit Rani, Rani doesn't have the means to visit them.
Rani overcomes her avoidance of the 31st century in order to save the world. While there, she becomes an official reserve member of the Legion. She returns to the 21st century anyway, not yet ready to give up on it.
Give me the Booster Gold: Convergence plot line, and Rani has to deal with the aftermath.. or maybe just ignore the whole Convergence thing and straight up rip off the time cancer subplot. Booster is bouncing through time uncontrollably, and Rani , Michelle, and an older Rip are chasing him down until they end up in the 90s (Rani finally gets a glimpse of the 90s and is disappointed) and find Booster in Ted's lab. Rani takes the place of N52 Booster in this. Everyone goes to Vanishing Point, and Booster transforms into Waverider. That has some wildly angsty potential.
The time cancer plot ends with Waverider returning everyone to their intended times. There's no universe-shattering crisis this time, so it's more like Waverider just isn't fully in-tune with his powers yet and fixed the anomalies by instinct rather than intent. It does mean that Rani finds herself in the 31st century and needs to be rescued from a dead planet and her own panic attack by the Legion.
Rani, fully attached to the Legion of Superheroes, officially-officially joins their group and decides to permanently stay in the 31st century as a hero.
Other notes:
There are also some implications that Booster may be nudging events in certain directions to keep the flow of time steady. Unbeknowst to Rani, Booster pre-programmed a different year and location for her to land in and disguised it as a glitch. He may or may have also arranged for some run-ins between her and some Legionnaires.
There’s a little hint at an abandoned Rani-centric plot thread towards the end of Vol 2. My guess is that there was supposed to be a 31st century arc for Booster Gold where he'd earn the trust and friendship of Braniac 5. I'm also guessing that Rani, who is shown to be a literal super genius, is more important than initially believed. She was probably supposed to be returned to the 31st century to fullfil some sort of essential role and subsequently not be adopted by the Carters because DC is allergic to happy parent-child relationships. I will be ignoring this guess.
Rani still has PTSD from Daxam's destruction and suffers from anxiety in her day-to-day. While she should have been returned to her intended place in the 31st century, she was too distressed by 1) being unadopted by Booster and 2) being in the time Daxam was destroyed and Emerald Empress is lose. Altogether, it was decided that Rani would stay with Booster and Michelle (and Rip as well, at the time). Either way, Rani refused to step foot in the 31st century, so Booster only ever brought his son of the two to visit Brainiac. Rani's knowledge of the Legion is restricted to what Booster and Junior have told her.
#personal#dreamlessblurb#dc#booster gold#michelle carter#trixie collins#rani dc#here’s a few other fun details#Booster choosing the 22nd century is more akin to Miss Peregrine’s Home for Perculiar Children living the same day before a bomb drops#Trixie and Michelle have a whole thing going on#is it ever resolved? idk#rani is not a daxamite she was just on vacation on daxam#rani is Probably just a human but she could also be any number of human appearing alien with enhanced intelligence and what have you#(Since Rip has no “intended” time#being a temporal anomaly by his very existence#he stays put and helps Waverider get his bearings he's until ready to recollect their family.)#i imagine that Rani is 18 when she leaves to become a hero#and that she's 10-13 years older than Rip/Junior#she comfortably calls Booster 'Dad' and only occassionally “Mikey”#a young Rani used to be jealous of Trixie and ambivalently called her Terry for a while#they get along well now but the nickname Terry stuck and only Rani is allowed to use it no one else not even Booster#btw Rani wears the og Gold Star suit with only a few changes but she gets a total upgrade courtesy of Jack Soo for better individuality
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at some point i will figure out how to write the post-canon, post-empire edelgard autonomy fic of my dreams. it just feels like a very big task and maybe like with playing the dane, i’m simply not old and traumatized enough to manage it yet.
but my vision is thus: it’s set years (realistically, decades) after the end of crimson flower, when everything has gone as right as it can possibly go. fódlan is thriving. the social reforms have taken effect. the nobility system is nearly eliminated, if not entirely so, with titles made merely symbolic. social mobility, welfare, and prosperity are high. there’s an explosion in arts and culture and technology. brigid and duscur have gained independence; relations with sreng and almyra are much improved; heck, maybe they've even figured it out with dagda. in my most idealistic version, leicester and faerghus would eventually be ceded back to become autonomous regions, essentially disbanding the adrestian empire. rule is no longer hereditary, but merit-based. there's a roadmap for the future, and everything is on track—and more than that, people at all points on the power spectrum have already seen it bear fruit. with or without edelgard, it will be pursued. there's buy-in. they believe.
of course, it's not perfect—nothing can be—but edelgard's vision has been fulfilled. the people are empowered. humanity is free. fódlan has healed.
and somehow, she's had enough time to resolve her goals outside of politics, too. those who slither in the dark have been eradicated. edelgard and lysithea's second crests have been successfully removed, allowing them to live if not full lives, then substantially longer ones than they would have with their twin crests intact. who knows—maybe she finally gets around to having that wedding.
point for point, every item listed in edelgard's manifesto has been checked off. the ghosts of her past have been laid to rest. she can finally take off her crown. she can finally pursue the quiet, humble life she's wanted for so long. she can finally breathe.
... but can she?
edelgard is nothing if not driven. her intelligence, vision, and sheer willpower allowed her to plan and execute a revolution against two countries and the most powerful institution on the continent, all while she was still a teenager. as royalty, her life was never truly hers even before she became heir to the adrestian throne, with all the additional baggage of survivor's guilt and the desire for vengeance and her need to ensure nothing that happened to her can ever happen to anyone else, ever again.
so what happens when that drive has no outlet? what happens when someone who has been constantly in motion, constantly working and planning and preparing every spare second of every day since she was fourteen years old, suddenly has to stand still? what happens when someone whose hands have been bound for so long—first literally in the dungeons of enbarr, then by the weight and responsibilities of her crown—is set free?
being edelgard, she would step away from the throne, no matter how hard it was for her to give up control. she's always been focused on the endgame, and she knows that if she doesn't let go, she'll be setting the wrong tone for fódlan's future. she's too devoted to that endgame to cling to power much longer than she needs to, though i could see her making some excuses and trying to iron out just a few more things to buy herself some more time to mentally prepare before she's done for good.
but who would she be then? who is the woman without the crown? what becomes of a machine once it is no longer needed, when it has made itself obsolete? what about when that machine is a person with legs and arms and an innate unwillingness to gather dust on a shelf?
what happens when you get everything you want? what happens when all your wanting has been for others to thrive, and now you have to want only for yourself? how do you discover who you are when you've spent decades being everything for everyone else? how do you find meaning again? how do you find purpose?
after a lifetime of devotion and passion and movement, how do you learn to sit with yourself, and be quiet, and be still?
gosh, i would love to meet her. i would love to pick her brain. but boy, i do not envy the work that girl has to do.
#sterge.rtf#fire emblem#fe3h#edelgard von hresvelg#realistically edelgard is not getting all of this done in her lifetime. but that wouldn't keep her from stepping away anyway#'cause a funny thing happened to edelgard during the crimson flower route: she learned to have faith again.#so even if she couldn't check every box and fix every societal ill she'd still be able to pass the crown to the next ruler.#maybe not without fear. but with confidence. with optimism. with the belief that she's leaving the world better than she found it.#she'd have faith in her people. faith in the future. faith in the groundwork she's laid. faith in the systems she's put in place.#faith that her vision will be carried out with or without her.#and that faith would allow her to eventually let go.#i so love edelgard pulling a george washington and saying nah i'm good on power. peace#though unfortunately i could also see her pulling a teddy roosevelt#and saying nah i'm good on power. peace. wait what are you doing. you're ruining it. you're bungling everything. i can't believe this#and making several (failed and increasingly insane) attempts to get back into politics#who is the taft to edelgard's ted tho. i don't want to do ferdinand the disservice of saying it's him even though i think it's very funny.#it's literally the opposite of his character as taft notoriously sniffed roosevelt's farts for a long time#until he finally pulled his head out of the guy's ass and realized there are other smells. such as the sewer. and garbage.#smells which he pursued quite happily much to ol ted's chagrin#meanwhile ferdinand does not think anything of edelgard's ass except that his is definitely better-looking than hers#(he's wrong on so many levels but you try telling the guy that)#in fact ferdinand has always taken great joy in pointing out all the things that smell better than edelgard does#which gives him an instant up on mr Take-Advice-From-Theodore#all this to say i think ferdinand von aegir would have been a much better president than william howard taft. that's just my opinion.#i'm getting off the rails in these tags idk what's wrong with me#sorry for equating your blorbos to long-dead american politicians everyone. i know this is a cardinal sin#also please don't take this to mean i think positively of washington or roosevelt or taft or whatever.#i hate all dead old white guys who ever held a modicum of power#i just had a hyperfixation on american presidents when i was in grade school and unfortunately now my brain works like this
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mouthwashing is a special experience because not only do you get to watch characters not take responsibility and not expect men in power to do anything to help women in the game, but you also get to watch the same reaction play out in real time in the fandom
#mouthwashing#yes i also hate curly#hes better than jimmy sure but it dont mean hes a good person lol and i dont feel bad for him that he got cooked#or that jimmy treats him like shit#like oh nooo its the consequences of ur actions#its an extreme yea but its a video game so sometimes art is extreme to visualize a point#can not believe people r like ‘what could curly have done’#um. believed her. put a lock on her door. suggest she sleep in med bay which has a lock#not be buddies with jimmy. keep an eye on him. file a report to the company.#etc. etc.#nothing would fix it and some of this would fall on deaf ears and some of this might not work but at least#itd show to anya that u cared and that u tried#can not believe i had to type out suggestions at all. u people are seriously helpless#like did u miss the 10 Take Responsibility flashing cards in the game#or were u too busy being blinded by how curly is a conventionally attractive white man
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Has anyone talked about how each member of the Genius Society represents the over reliance on the belief of intelligence but not the act of intelligence?
#like they mostly take up resources and are pseudo-celebrities more than they do useful things#They act more as villains over consuming resources that could be put to better use#If anything more people should hate them#In universe not like as characters#but just like in real life - people don't notice how awful they actually are#I think at one point it's stated that Ruan Mei turned a desert planet into a lush jungle or something?#I cannot emphasize enough -- she fucked over that ecosystem. That was fucked up of her. She killed everything.#And people praised her for it! They don't care about science. They care about the prestige. She's famous. Nous chose *her*#Herta doesn't even do her own work. Nothing would get done if it wasn't for all of her assistants.#Screwllum is god-king of his own planet. I mean he also killed a god-king but you can't go around replacing one with yourself#Which is what makes Ratio so fun. He notices and calls them out.#but also in a way where it's hard to tell if there's jealousy involved or not.#And his version of intelligence is helpful. He gives back to his community. He cares about people first even if they annoy him.#The only Society members I respect are Stephen (baby); the one philanthropist (thin ice); the spider (awesome);#and the serial killer who kills other members who I strongly suspect to be Herta but that's another conversation entirely#Anyway I just think it's odd that they're an obvious analogy for how people think there is such as thing as “intelligence”#that can be declared by some all-knowing all-seeing creature and everyone else is “worthless” by comparison#to even be said as much by a character in the game#and the audience still thinks they're supposed to be smart.#Nous was created by an egotistical man who was himself first recognized by his own biased judging algorithm#The Genius Society isn't the epitome of intelligence they are Silicon Valley#like the parody is so fucking on point there are literal jokes in game if you pay attention
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haven't listened to the anthology yet, but i do think her music is suffering from the sheer quantity she's putting out while doing all this other stuff tbh. feels more like an overproduced electronic cashgrab than real layered music despite some tortured lyrics. like ttpd the first half has such a sameness to over half of it.... and that sameness is tied to midnights too imo. i really wish i could experience the joy of albums like 1989/folklore/evermore and def her country earlier stuff but. she can be a lyric writing machine (she needs someone to veto some of it thoughnfjdkfjd feels like no one can tell her no) but not lean on the exact same production style for this long bc it's kinda getting old to me and i really do enjoy so much of her discography like 😭😭😭 idk. i know swifties are just gonna eat up whatever she does, and i've always been in between the absolute worshipping crowd and the absolute hater crowd but some of the music/production part is so uninspired.
#where are the real instruments like truly fhjdjd where are rhe layers#i want to enjoy it but i had like 5 songs i marked thst ill even listen to more than twice HDJDJ and i did the same for midnights#like its jsut......#like shes a billionaire but it feels like if she pauses for a second shes gonna die like no. fbdndj sometimes ruminating is good#in some ways its like the perfect encapsulation of whats going on w society#i would love an album where she goes back to country roots a bit more tbh just to hear what she could do#its where shes always excelled imo#ANYWYA just first thoughts. ill listen to the second half when i get home from work but like#how many surprise albums can you drop n stuff before things become less of a surprise snd more of an expectation like#w that much contrnt you cant be putting your all into it lol. some of it feels half assed snd you can tell#inauthentic despite any vulnerability in the lyrics....... when i know she has made better is just so jfksk disappointing#this is not me being a hater fhjd feel like i will always give her music a try 10000% but also i hate being disappointed this much in a row#and i think its good to critically discuss things u enjoy at times
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah……#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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